#and when i tried looking it up it told me to download shit and i don’t wanna do that

[bisexualsoup]

is there a way to change the speed of an external mouse separately from the touchpad built in to a laptop cause i updated my drivers and somehow it made my touch pad hella slow but if i turn up my pointer speed then the mouse i use is way too fast

[jenomov]

tape 001. (l.jn + 00z line)

wc: 1.9k

“c’mon man, it’s my turn to choose the movie, it was your turn last week!” haechan groaned, slightly pushing jaemin.

“fine, but we’ll use renjun’s laptop this time, since a certain someone broke mine last week.” he turns back to haechan, rolling his eyes. “hey fuck you dude, i told you it was an accident alread-“

“no way! i have an essay coming up, i’m using it as soon as i finish this.” renjun yelled, from the kitchen, cleaning the dishes. “use jeno’s or something, he’s not here anyway.”

“are you crazy?” jaemin yelled back. “there’s private stuff on there!! and he only shares his laptop with his girlfriend.”

“so what?” haechan laughed. “he probably privates all his stuff anyway, you know how he is. plus, he has a bunch of movies in a file he keeps for us” — he gets up, fixes his hair before going into jeno’s room. “so i’ll go get it.”

a few minutes after looking for the device, haechan comes back to the living room, sitting between jaemin and renjun, opening the laptop. groaning, he’s met with a lockscreen, asking for a password.

“see, i told you we should’ve used renjun’s laptop, jeno’s too private man, i can’t even get in myself.” jaemin sighs, facing haechan. “where’s your laptop anyway?” he questions.

“mark has it, and he won’t be back until tomorrow.” he says typing on the keyboard, thinking of the right password.

“dude stop trying shit, you’ll lock his laptop forever.” renjun grabs his arm, already annoyed. “let’s just use the tv.”

“hold on man, there’s a hint here”

⃣[who’s my best friend?]

“oh yeah, that’s easy, it’s obviously me!” jaemin laughed.

however, the three boys were all met with a “try again” sentence. confused, they tried you, renjun, haechan, and well, most of the members, all answers being wrong, until “mark” somehow unlocked the laptop, making them stare at the homescreen picture being you and jeno on some sort of vacation.

“what the fuck?” haechan and jaemin yelled at the same time. they looked at each other for a few seconds, feeling betrayed.

“well! guess i’ll need to talk to mark when he comes back to see who his REAL best friend is!” haechan faked wiping a tear off his face, while looking for jeno’s pirated movie file. “i’m pretty sure it would’ve been too easy if he chose jaemin man.” renjun added. “dude, jeno’s not scared of getting caught having all those downloaded movies?” renjun asked, “there’s a shit load of pirated clips in there…” he continues.

minutes pass by and the silence in the living room is sometimes broken by “no not that” and “we’ve already watched this”. even added by a “we can’t watch horror movies because renjun is scared of those”—

“hey fuck you man, atleast i’m not a psycho and watch murder stories videos all night like you jaemin” he scoffs.

“whatever fuckass let’s just do something else— “hey guys?” haechan speaks up, making the bickering between the other two stop. “i think we’ve found our movie for tonight.”

“jeno’s into weird movies? there’s no title— ouu it’s probably something dark- ow!” jaemin laughs out loud while renjun hits him in the arm.

haechan clicks on the video, curiosity getting the best of him.

“woah what are you doing?” renjun stops him, panic taking over. “what? he probably just forgot to put the title on it, it’s probably just a regular movie, like spider-man or some shit.”

renjun sits back down, pushing his two toned hair back, nervous. “alright. besides, maybe it’s a movie we haven’t watched yet, i’m sick of you guys watching scary movies.”

“okay jun, just press play, we wanna see what’s that about.” jaemin retorts.

the beginning of the video shows nothing weird of any sort, just a dimly lit room and a bed— that kind of looks like jeno’s. without paying any mind to the details, they keep watching.

“shit, i’ll be back, my phone’s ringing.” renjun gets up to the bathroom, excusing himself.

the video continues normally, the dead silence of the room gets cut off by giggles and heavy sighs, which made the boys question their choice of movie.

“dude is that fucking porn? i don’t wanna watch that shit.” jaemin takes the laptop in his hands, ready to press the back arrow when he suddenly stops his movements.

“what?” confused, haechan looks closely at the screen, face changing from confusion to shock. “wait, is that-“ he adds “uh… yeah, i think so” jaemin places the computer back on the small table, paying more attention to the clip they found just a minute ago.

you’re barely noticeable, the camera shows you laying on the bed, wrists tied up and gagged, drool dripping around the plastic ball. your legs are spread at your maximum; showing your used and bruised ass to the lens, black tape covering your cunt, making your asshole the only thing on display. the only sound they could hear was your whining and moaning. jaemin and haechan stare at your trembling figure, unable to keep their eyes away.

“i’m sorry baby, but bad girls don’t deserve to be properly fucked don’t they” they could hear jeno talk behind the camera, voice low and far from his usual tone. “seeing you flirt with my friends, i cant let that happen now can’t i?” you shook your head, tears prickling in the corner of your eyes. he gets closer to you, angling the camera to get a closer look at your hole. you whine as you feel his index and middle fingers on your taped cunt, eyes begging for him to fuck you.

“hey sorry that took so long it was important — what the fuck are you guys watching??” renjun interrupts, looking at the screen.

“just—just sit down man.” haechan mutters. “i can’t let you horny fucks watch some por-“

“woah.” he stops.

renjun feels guilty for watching, but he’s fixed on the way your body is trembling in excitement, by the way your pretty face is covered in spit and dried tears, or by the way you’re whining softly, eyes fixed on jeno, being so obedient, despite the obscene scene the tape is showing him.

he’s never imagined or thought of you this way, but when he feels his pants tightening, he had to watch more.

they want to see you vulnerable.

jeno holds the back of your thighs, making you stop wriggling underneath him. “now won’t you be a good girl and take what i give you?” you nod frantically, body shaking. “good girl.” he gives you a kiss on your nose, then lines himself up to your rim.

your muffled moans and cries are the only thing heard in the room. the three boys are mesmerized by your expressions, haechan’s slowly pulling his underwear down as he strokes his own cock. “this is wrong, we—can you please put your dick away?” jaemin asks. “if he knows we’ve watched this it’s over.” he continues, facing the urge to join haechan in his pleasuring session.

you get dizzy as you feel jeno filling you up so nicely, never getting used to how big he is. you look at him with half opened eyes, tears slowly falling down your eyes, wrists hurting from the restraints.

“man, look at how well she takes his dick.” haechan confesses, his hand stroking his tip, groaning at the sight of you being ruined.

jeno grabs your ass, making him reach deeper inside you, each rough thrusts make you beg, trying to reach for his arms despite your restraints. your head falls back on the pillows, feeling yourself losing it more and more. he taps your cheek a few times before removing the ball from your mouth, strings of saliva connected from your lips to the plastic. “what a messy baby, am i making you feel good?” he grabs your jaw, forcing you to look at him. the boys groan at your fucked up state, they have never heard a better sound other than your moans and begging.

“u-uh huh… more… pleasepleaseplease.” you mumble. you feel him everywhere. his weight on you, his hands on your thighs, forcing your legs open, his stare, his cock splitting your ass open. you feel like passing out. “more?” he scoffs. “me fucking your tight little ass isn’t enough? you’re just a greedy whore, always want to be stuffed full of cock is that it?” you nod over and over again, making him chuckle. you feel out of it, eyes rolling to the back of your head. you want more, you’re desperate for a release, but you know jeno won’t give you what you want so easily, besides, you broke his rules, right?

the boys wondered how it would feel to be inside you, it’s not like they haven’t thought of it, maybe except renjun, who was always so respectful of you and your relationship. at the back of his head, he still felt bad for watching, but today, his perspective of you changed, you were nothing but a filthy slut, who’d give any of her holes, just for the sake of pleasure.

you gasp when you’re suddenly flipped onto your stomach, lightheaded from the previous actions of your boyfriend. “ass up.” is all he says as you obey, though struggling to keep your knees still, your legs shaking.

you feel jeno’s tip kiss your rim, as an indication that you’re not quite done being used yet. he positions the camera closer to your entrance as he slowly gets fully inside you, making you both sigh.

haechan is a mess, he’s getting closer to his release, while renjun tries to look away from the screen, forcing himself up to get water, he sighs uncomfortably at his tight shorts.

jaemin on the other hand, is so focused on you that he cums in his hand without realizing it.

“i have a big load for you angel, you’re gonna take all i give you right?” his thrusts get sloppier, he whines more and more feeling your tight hole milking him. “inside please.” is all that was needed before you feel his warm load inside your ass, crying into the pillow at the sensation.

the three boys groan at the sight of your abused hole, tape peeling off of your cunt, legs giving up making you almost fall before jeno picks your legs up, taking the camera to show your leaking hole. tsk.

“what an ungrateful little slut.” the name makes you look back at him, tears falling on your swollen face, “i’m sorry sir—” your fingers scoops the cum off your hole, bringing them to your mouth before releasing them with a slight ‘pop’. “is that better?” he slaps your ass making you yelp.

“good girl.”

“you’re gross haech, better hurry up before they come back and see your pervert ass on his computer.” renjun tells him, watching haechan run off to the bathroom, jeans barely on his legs.

jaemin wakes up from his daydream to his sticky hand, shaking his head before quickly pulling his pants off and head to his dorm.

renjun stares at the wall, feeling more guilty than ever, with a raging boner that he has yet to touch, when suddenly the door unlocks.

“shit.”

a/n: dialogue is so hard wtf…. part 2?

© jenomov do not repost/translate

[iamsuckateverythingtobehonest]

Between The Wall

Pairing: Sagau!Aether x Reader

Summary: Aether finds solace in the voice, he once hated and now loves.

!Warning!: First Time Writing, might be bad!

Part 2/3

"—Argh...! Stop it, Aether!" you scream in frustration, putting down your phone on the bed with an annoyed face.

it's been a few weeks since you started to play Genshin Impact after being tempted by your schoolmate to download the game. They already told you the gist of what you should know before starting the game itself.

But, they never mention about this game has the main character a self-aware implement into their character.

At first you notice the way Aether's face scrunched up in discomfort after the prologue. It makes you creep out but then you remember that your schoolmate has told you about a few of their self-aware elements, though they just told you about their reaction when you cancel their movements by jumping.

You assumed that your schoolmate probably wants you to experience it by yourself which is nice but a head up would be great too.

"Gacha game? more like a horror game." you snicker as you continue to play on your phone.

As time goes on, Aether's 'behavior' becomes worse. From making a lot of negative responses to you controlling him, now he even tries to defy your control over him by doing the opposite of what you want from him from time to time.

"Aether, you little shit! Stop swimming in a circle and go back to the shore repeatedly!" you shook your phone like crazy, and there was a small smile curled on Aether's face making your anger flame harder.

"T-this game is shit!"

While anger consumes you, you log out from the game.

You sigh leaning back to your gaming chair as you spin around on it before standing up, moving to your door, and walking down the stairs to grab some water.

because of this problem is the reason why you are slowly about to snap and quit this game.

You arrive at the kitchen, open the fridge, grab a small bottle of water, and quickly drink it up.

While doing so, you heard a rapid clicking on a keyboard coming from your sibling's room. A curious look on your face before you slowly walk to their and casually open the door by the knob.

There you see, your sibling screams while her finger moves steadily on the keyboard before slapping her hand on her table in frustration once she loses.

"GODDAMN IT!" Your sibling shouted, it looked like she had died fighting in the Spiral Abyss, no wonder.

"Calm down," you shook your head, walking inside to stand by your sibling. "You will wake Mom up from her sleep at this rate."

They turns to you, "Oh, you, sorry," she slowly calms herself down and sighs.

"This level just gets my shit up to a hundred, who told Hoyoverse that this is fine, all I wanted was the Primogem." They grumbles.

You softly rub her back with a small smile, "It's still many days left until the limited banner is gone, I am sure you will get em."

They put down their headphones, "Talk about it, what AR are you now?"

"Well, it's, I think...AR 23 or more..." You thought absentmindedly.

"That's quick," your sibling mused, "How is your experience so far as a beginner?"

"Well it's fun, I love the world-building, the colour, the gameplay, and the Ui..." You trailed, listing what you liked about the game until an irritated look appeared on your face that made your sibling perk at it. "Except for Aether!"

Your sibling flinched at your outburst before she raised a confused eyebrow at you, "Aether? The traveler?"

"Yes!" You grip your hand into a fist while seething in anger. "I don't know why they implanted such a feature, Like every time I try to play, he gotta need to defy my game control, it's creepy! He used to follow me but now he keeps making ugly faces at me like excuse me!"

"I really, really hate him!"

You keep rambling about your frustration with the traveler which leaves your sibling gaping.

"I don't think they have that..." Your sibling uttered out.

"Well, I did! And it needs to stop!"

"Do you contact Hoyo Customer Service? Is it probably a bug?" Your sibling suggested.

"I did but they never replied." You said crossing your arms.

"They probably will get back to you, one of these days since I am sure they have many people to attend to." Your sibling reassured.

"I hope so,"

Your sibling then chuckles, "But I don't think you would hate him for so long."

You frown with an eyebrow raised, "Why so?"

"They're gonna be a certain quest when you reach AR 28 or above which gives more lore about him." She elaborates.

"I don't think I would." You squint your eyes.

"Well the fact you still using the Traveler despite the bug he has, say so." She snickers, "Just give him a chance, hate the bug instead of him."

You scratch your cheeks and sigh, "We will see."

You decided to give the game, a second chance.

"Aether, don't you think...you being too mean to the Creator?" She whispered scratching her cheeks floating, looking down on Aether crouching down inside the bushes.

They currently watching over a couple of boars walking with Aether having his sword in his grip.

Aether glances at Paimon before smiling, "Well, it's not that bad, it's a small price for them to control my body." He turns his attention back to the boars.

Paimon deadpanned, "What a lie! You just did that so they left early!"

He doesn't respond and just quickly dashes out from the bushes and thrusts his sword onto one of the boar, quickly he pulls back the other sword and slashes the boar sprinting toward him.

Quickly he used his Anemo ability to pull back the almost-escaping boars and slashed them in one go.

Blood splatter on his face, outfit, hair and his swords.

"Ah," he wiped the blood on his cheeks with his thumbs, "I need to get better at dodging the blood-splattered," He said out loud.

Aether suddenly flinched and turned his body to see another boar is running up to him.

"Hi-ya!" Paimon shouted, hitting the boars with a rock on the forehead. "Don't you dare to attack Aether!"

Aether blinked and smiled, "Thanks for the help, Paimon."

Paimon perks up and throws away the rock somewhere else, "Hehe, you're welcome~ praise me more~" she giggles happily.

"Now calm down," Aether chuckled.

Aether then gets to work after cleaning himself with a towel to cut the boar meat, one by one.

After that was done, Aether decided to sit down to open his notebook, and start writing some alphabet and spelling again.

Paimon sits down beside the Traveler, watching the letter he wrote with knowing looks.

"Is that the Creator's language?" She asked, quietly after watching her surrounding.

Aether nodded, "Yeah, I managed to decipher some of it."

"Oh! What is it? Let me see!" Paikon excitedly asked and leaned over to look at it.

Paimon curiosity slowly turned into a horrified look, "Did the Creator say that?"

"Yeah," Aether said amused at Paimon's reaction, "surprising huh?"

"There is a lot of cursing! Outrageous mean word!" She blinks rapidly, "The Creator has very interesting wording..."

"Most of the curse directed at me, I am not surprised." He smirked.

Paimon looks at Aether's face still has a smile and a fond look on his face. "You like them?"

Aether stops writing, "Huh?" He turns to Paimon.

"The Creator! Do you finally like them?" She excitedly asked.

"No!" Aether quickly stood up and took a step back, "Ain't no way! I just tolerate the Creator better than before!"

Aether is very obviously in denial with his cheeks adorned with pink blush, averting his eyes.

It's very true that Aether slowly but surely started to understand the creator, whether their language and their intention choosing him as a vessel.

The first word he managed to decipher is 'love' from the Creator's language, it's when Aether has fallen from the Statue Of Seven that the Creator for some reason controlled him to do so.

He had a fatal injury caused by that, and while he was whimpering in pain, he heard the Creator change of tone.

Aether's eyes widened, and he looked up at the sky, the creator rambled a lot but he could hear the concern and care for him which gave him goosebumps

"...Aether!$%-#&#!"

Aether perks up again when he hears his name between the rambling and his eyes widen more.

"...Aether&%$%...love#%#&#-!"

His lips parted when he understood the word, Aether's cheeks burned red and his eyes turned hazy.

He doesn't realize what happening to him but Aether for sure has stopped functioning at this time.

Aether shook his head from his flashback and continued to scribble some more. His ear is red as his scribbling becomes faster but much to his chagrin, the scene keeps playing in his head.

Paimon, who watching at his side had a small smile adorning her face. 'Aether surely has grown to like the Creator and that's good.

Both of them will stuck together until they reach their intended goal, they are both important to me, so please help each other."

Paimon hands intertwined. together to prayer, eyes closed with her forehead leaning to her clasped hands.

Until it's snapped open, Paimon turned her head with a frown. 'Who?'

She scanned the surroundings when she sensed something wrong again. 'Behind that tree." Paimon narrows her eyes.

She was about to move and check it out but suddenly Aether stood up which gained Paimon attention back to him.

"Aether? Why are you standing?" She called moving to him, "Where are we going?"

She tilted her head when Aether didn't answer her which was odd until she moved in front of him.

There she sees Aether standing still with his eye twitching in irritation. 'Ah, the Creator is back.'

Paimon smiles sympathetically at Aether.

Aether's body then quickly moved in a sprint which made Aether's eyes wide with Paimon followed in tow.

As they move away, neither Aether nor Paimon didn't realizes that someone is watching them from afar behind a tree, the arrow they grip in their hands is put away.

The unknown eye glints with mysterious light, "The Creator..." They breathe.

You are lying down on the bed, empty and in pain.

There are tears stained under your eyes, your eyes are red from crying so hard for a long time. Akin to a person on the brink of death gate and barely gripping onto life.

"i can't believe it." you hiccup, "Lumine, why are you doing this?! Reunite with your brother, come on!" you shout in frustration, kicking your feet into the air.

You just recently finish the 'We will be reunited' quest and it broke you down from the inside hard. You are mad at Lumine but at the same you try to understand her but what actually fueled to your anger against her is Aether.

After the quest, Aether's face have trail of tears and hurt plastered that you didn't have a heart to do anything that often making you in verge of crying. Often you have started to not using Aether, in hope his expression will be better but it just become worse and you even begun to miss his smirk from before.

Everytime you try your best to help the boy even though it's probably a waste of time. After using him back again for daily mission, his face become focus like he try to pull his mind away from the events. It's like he try to move on, his expression look so real which should not be possible since Aether is a character game.

"I can't seem to leave him alone," You rub your eyes and slowly calming yourself down. Getting up from the bed you reach for your phone and open your messaging app.

After a back and forth messaging with your sibling and friend, you finally come to conclusion of what to do now.

You get back with soda and snack by your side as you open up Genshin Impact in your phone with a determined face.

"I can't believe that I am doing this for a game character that I hate..." you mutter as you sigh before focusing to the screen again.

"My money..."

"OUR MONEY!" Paimon scream, "Why are the Creator even use it to but a freaking expensive firework!!" she whined into her hand.

"We could use it to buy more Sticky Honey Roast!" She cried out, step onto the ground pr air repeatly.

Aether just sigh, "Well we can't do anything about it," he keep jogging forward to somewhere that even he doesn't know with the Creator controlling him. "We will gain it back in no time, so don't worry so much Paimon."

"Okay... but where are we even going?"

Aether narrow his eye as he climb up the boulder, "Hm...I don't know but this place seem familiar."

The more they walk and climb, the more familiar the surrounding area looks, Aether is now crouching down to set down the firework under a cliff before his body starts to sprint up up to the cliff where from there, he could see Mondstadt.

"Are the creators trying to light fireworks in the morning?" Paimon wonders out loud, "What the point? It's not even night!"

But then a miracle happened, the day quickly went back to nighttime time and both Aether and Paimon's eyes widened at the sight.

The sky that once had a sun on its landscape now has a moon and star decorating It.

At the right time, the fireworks shoot up into the air and burst into many colour.

"Wow...." Aether breathed out in awe.

"Aether..."

Aether suddenly glances at the sky when he hears the Creator speak his name. Each word the Creator utters makes his heart skip a beat, flushing red and his eye sparkling.

"....With this, I hope you will cheer up a little bit."

A trail of tears goes down his cheeks as the Creator's words end. He can't understand some of it but the way his heart thumping, he just knows for sure that.

Aether has fallen in forbidden love with the...

Creator.

[itsnathateasy]

randonauting with these aot characters

warning: heads up that this is about some (mild i think?) creepy content, so if you’re not comfortable with it, please skip!

word count: 1,3k

a/n: i’m not encouraging you to download the app and of course this isn’t an ad, just thought it’d be a cool fic idea! (DO NOT DOWNLOAD THE APP)

before you read: you and your partner decide to download “randonautica”, an app that gives you randomised location coordinates based on the intention you set.

Eren is probably the one who originally told you about the app. He had been watching TikToks of people who’d previously used the app and thought it might be a cool little game. When you told him you’d actually downloaded the app and set the intention to “monster” he gave you a smirk and suggested that you go there together. What a better way to spend your weekend, right? You packed a few necessities, some lunch, water and flash lights, and headed to the coordinates you got. The place turned out to be extremely sinister and, at first, neither of you wanted to step out of the car, especially not in the dark of the night. You took some tiny steps towards an abandoned cabin that you could spot in the distance, when you heard a swift rustling in the trees. You and Eren took a good look at each other, then ran back inside the car and drove away as fast as possible. “Delete that stupid app, y/n… And disable your location NOW!”. (love me some “heroic” bf Eren!) (what a loser)

You and Armin go out there for strictly educational reasons, or that’s what you tell yourselves. Walking deeper into the clearing that was your coordinates, you don’t notice much, when, all of a sudden, you find a bone and ran back to the car as quickly as possible. When you’re far enough, you go through your photos and videos of the location again. “Hey Armin… Remember that bone we found?” “Don’t start, y/n, that was some crazy shit. We’re not going back there, whatever you say!” “No, listen… There’s barbecue stove in the back. See? I got a picture of it. Maybe it was an animal bone? From someone’s lunch?” Armin inspected your face for a bit, and demanded that he saw the photo you took. “That might be true, y/n… But we shouldn’t risk it.” He said as he took a good look at you. A few minutes later, you were back at the site, looking for more clues. You walked past a row of sycamore trees before finding yourselves in someone’s backyard. Turns out that it WAS a barbecue site. You’d probably copied the coordinates wrong, maybe a digit was missing? Armin was barely able to convince the old lady who lived there that you’d made a mistake. Good thing he’s got those “big blue eyes” and is “so polite to the elderly”, as the lady explained. As a truce, she packed you a few slices of her home-made oat and chocolate cake. “Y/n, should we eat the cake?” asked Armin as you walked the distance back to the car, holding onto the wrapped food. “Nah Armin, this kinda gives Hansel and Gretel. Let’s just leave it here”. You said, concealing the cake behind a bush.

Mikasa would be very interested when you tell her about the app and she insists that you go. “Set the intention to “vampires”, y/n. We might get a cult site!” she said with a straight face. It was so difficult to discern whether she was making a joke or if she was genuinely excited to try out the app. “Uhm, you do realise that this isn’t a game, right Mikasa?” You asked, just to make sure. “I know, it’s no game. It’s even better. We should probably buy gas masks before we plan our excursion” she explained. “What would we need the masks for?” you asked, honestly contemplating if suggesting randonautica to Mikasa was a good idea after all. “I don’t know, y/n, what if whoever is there watching us tries to gas us or something? Just saying, we should be prepared.” She said and went back to typing on her phone. After a few minutes of silence, you’d reconsidered and made your decision. “Listen, Mikasa, the more you speak of it, the more scared I become. I don’t wanna go anymore” you admitted shyly since you were the one to suggest it. “Too bad, y/n. I just received our coordinates and it’s not very far. Grab your boots, we’re leaving” she said blankly, while reaching for your toolbox from under the kitchen sink. “Why are you looking at me like that, y/n? You’re gonna love it, I promise!” she said with a wink. Who is this person?

Jean was also the person to tell you about randonautica, but when you, quite proudly too, announced that you’d downloaded the app and set the intention to “creepy”… You were into some serious trouble. You got a good scolding session, as Jean was extremely upset by your carelessness. “Have you not seen how the people who end up in these locations usually have to report back to the police cause some creepy dude starts stalking them?? How about that mother and son who had to leave their home for days before the creep lost their tracks? Don’t be so naive, y/n, that shit’s dangerous!”. He did apologise afterwards, as he was the one who made you listen to all those stories and treated them as a true crime podcast. “How about we book an escape room instead? Or a rage room? You should pick, y/n! Anything yo keep you away from that app”.

“I’ll call my cousin if we need help, she’s a police officer! She should be able to help us” Connie explained as he drove to the location you’d just received on the app. “Aren’t you afraid we might come across some creepy dude with a hammer?” you asked, your anxiety mixed with excitement peaking the closer you got to the location. “Need I remind you that I did bring our own hammer, y/n? Whatever creep we meet should know better than to mess with me!” He exclaimed proudly, giving you a side smirk. Connie’s phone buzzed, you’d reached your destination. As Connie parked the car, you got out and took a good look of your surroundings. The coordinates led to a spot under a bridge, which would be extremely bad lit, had you not convinced Connie to go during the day. “I don’t really like this place, Connie. I think we should go back” you announced, not really straying too far from the car. “Don’t worry, y/n you’ve got me and I’ve got the hammer. We should be more than fine!” You walked a few meters further, approaching the exact spot you’d received. “What did you set as our intention Connie?” you questioned as you spotted a tall figure in the distance. “Maniac, why?” He asked absent-mindedly as he kept looking for clues on the ground. “Cause I think we’ve company...” He jolted up and followed your gaze, reaching that figure. “Don’t scream, y/n, but run as fast as you can!” He said and pulled you away from the site and back to the car. "Better call your cousin now!" You half screamed as you drove away.

Listen to me, Hange is fucking insane. Ever since you two discovered randonautica, it was all they ever talked about. For your weekend date, you actually decided to go on your little horror adventure. “What should our intention be Hange?” you questioned as they started the car. “Hm… Let’s see… How about cake?” “Cake?” “Yes, y/n, cake. Imagine the possibilities!” They said and threw their hands in the air. You got the coordinates and they drove ahead to an area not so far from your shared apartment. As Hange pulled over, you noticed there were some logs scattered here and there but most of the area was desolate and covered by dry, yellow grass. “Promising, right, y/n?” Exclaimed Hange. “It’s just a bunch of logs, Hange, there won’t-” “LOOK OVER THERE!” they shouted, pointing at a rusty cool box that was a good thirty metes away from you. “Don’t you dare go near it Hange!” you grabbed onto their hood before they could go any closer to the cool bag. “Y/n, this is what we came here for! Let me go check it out!” they complained as loudly as possible, trying to escape your grip. “What if it’s a crime scene, Hange? Would you like to find some random person’s insides? We’re leaving this instant!” you dragged them away and back to the car, much to Hange’s resistance. “You know, y/n, that could’ve been a really cool finding...” They pouted, their final card on getting you to go back again. “No, Hange. Most likely, WE would be the really cool finding. That cool box might have been for our remains. Delete the app.” Reluctantly, they did.

[redflagshipwriter]

Red Hot Ghouls 14 part 2/2

Masterpost 

Danny had kind of ignored the most important part of that initial message. Crud. Of course the poor bastard wanted to know about the progress on their spiritual separation. Danny cringed. He typed fast to send a new message before Jason could ask again.

It did not come out easily. He wrote and deleted two drafts before he groaned aloud. “I am not prepared to tell him that the options so far are either to marry and divorce me or to get his ass banished from the ghost dimension.” Danny spent a moment pitying himself. “I just have to say the truth.”

Cringe. Cringe so hard. 

I have two possible solutions but they both suck really hard. :/ Suck so hard you’d be shook. The suckage would change your life.

Jason sent back ellipses. It belatedly occurred to Danny that it might have looked like he was making a blowjob joke. He put the phone back on his chest and stared at the ceiling for a while, wondering why he was this way.

“Jason didn’t see that,” Danny told himself. “Jason is a professional. A professional something. I don't know what.” 

He wanted to believe it so badly that he just decided not to be mortified. Danny lifted the burner phone back up and painstakingly assembled a shrug emoji from symbols. 

Honestly they’re such bad options that I don’t even wanna tell you. Can we change the subject? : (

Jason sent back a series of laughing and crying emojis and then, Fine. Let’s talk about all the other stuff we have in common.

Danny pursed his lips. “...Do we have anything in common?” It wasn’t like he knew much about the guy, but he presumed Jason kept himself busy with some boring adult job, building muscle, and biking around looking hot. Danny crossed his legs at the knee and tried not to think of what a twig he looked like in comparison to Jason. He didn’t feel bad about it, honestly. Danny was too busy to make fitness a part of his personality and he had nothing to prove.

I’m illiterate, he settled on as a response. They definitely did not have a love of literature in common. What else did people do? I uh…. Watched a movie two years back.

Any good?

T’was shit, Danny admitted. Hm. He frowned. “I’m not sure where to take this conversation,” he said aloud.

I’m so hungry. Just got off work and I’m trying to decide what to do.

“Oh, I can do something with that.” Danny felt better. Yeah me too, I would kill for an enchilada. He tried to send a ghost emoji and groaned when he remembered that this was a shitty burner phone with no keyboard downloaded and apparently no access to the app store. Jason had already responded by the time that he gave up.

Ghosts eat Mexican food?

They would if they have human zone money, Danny sent back morosely. Oh no, it wasn’t fun anymore. Ya boy can’t pay in the tears of the damned anywhere on this plane of existence smh. His stomach growled with obnoxious timing. He groaned. The last thing he’d eaten had been that sandwich with Jazz. He could cook… He really should cook. 

Ugh. Effort. 

Danny tried to motivate himself up to the kitchen. “It’s four steps,” he said aloud, trying to be encouraging. “I can make it.”

Ah. No. That was actually kind of depressing. He lived in a shoebox with a monthly grocery budget that was just pitiful.

Haha ur broke, Jason sent, because he was a massive bitch. Danny felt a lot better about flipping him off. But then Jason followed it up with an obviously insincere, I’d get you enchiladas if you were in Gotham. Sucks to suck.

Danny sensed weakness to exploit.

“You’re going to regret that,” Danny grimly promised, and hit the call button.

Jason picked up on the second ring, sounding confused and electronic. “Hey?”

“I can be in Gotham for enchiladas,” Danny threatened. His stomach growled again. “You feeling brave? Huh? Huh?” He punched a finger at the air in accusation. “I’m not scared of you or your dank gargoyles, leatherboy.”

There was a weird mechanical sound. Maybe a snort? A laugh? “I’ll send you a GPS point, if you’re there in ten I’ll buy you all you can eat.”

Danny went still like the predator he was. “Bring your life savings.” He hit the end call button and launched himself off the couch to go stuff his feet into his shoes. He let his apartment door slam shut behind him carelessly. He’d made it to the ground level before the pin point landed.

“Fuck, it’s even in my neighborhood.” Danny laughed, flush with petty victory. He looked left, right, and went invisible before he went ghost. There was no one around at this late hour to see him drop off the visible spectrum.

[bring-forth-his-sac]

The Christmas Party - Chapter 2

Summary: After seeing your text, Negan tries to use your mistake for his own benefit, but what will happen when you find out?

Tags: Modern AU, Teacher AU, Swearing, Pet Names, Slow Burn, Negan being a manipulative little fucker

Word Count: 4.4k

Link to Chapter 1

Negan remembers the first time he saw you. Morning meeting. September. While everyone else looked hungover or as if they considered driving off a cliff before getting there, you were chipper than a goddamn chipmunk.

He debated trying to swoon the newbie right then and there but Negan knew it would be a lost cause since you were obliviously surrounded by his very own Legion of Doom. Rosita, Aaron, Alden. Hell, even the grunting janitor was hanging around you.

And so he waited.

The shit part was what he thought would be a brief wait until the faculty meeting was over, stretched into days, then weeks and eventually months. Not that he was banking on getting you anyways, the staff was a vast ocean and many fish were practically begging to be on his rod.

He learned your name in the passing conversations of other teachers, was told you taught English and put you on the to do list, knowing he’d get around to it at some point.

What Negan didn’t expect was for you to seek him out. Sure, you weren’t the first to and most certainly wouldn’t be the last but this was the first time someone sought him out to unknowingly shit talk him.

Well, you most definitely knew you were shit talking. All you didn’t know was that you were doing it to his face. 

It was funny when you realised, trying to put up a professional front despite how pink your face was getting. It was nice though. Refreshing. Not another woman coming over to flirt. You were hard headed yet bashful. Another nosey fuckin’ gossip but you had an ounce of humility which was new for Alexandria High. 

It gave him a new objective; try to beat his personal record of getting under someone’s skin. 

Whether that be in a hot and bothered kinda way or general annoyance, he didn’t mind. That’s what made him walk into your classroom later that day, so boldly telling you that you were on detention duty. 

He knew that would piss you off and as he yelled at some spotty teens the next morning, he kept a special eye out for his new favourite English teacher, just waiting for you to storm up to him and go on some rant about making you cover his shift. 

Negan had a viable excuse as to why he couldn’t do it, he was busy doing other things. Well, Amber, to be more specific. 

Sitting in his small office with his feet propped up on the desk, Negan busies himself with the latest monotonous game he’s downloaded onto his phone. Without so much as a knock, the other Coach Smith, Mark, walks in. 

“Packed and ready! I was thinking of pulling a sickie for Thursday and Friday and laze around the house before the family and I jet off next week…” Mark begins and Negan simply hums in response, drowning out his colleague’s vacation plans.

After about five rounds of Negan’s game, he gets a nudge to the foot. “But you’ll be real busy, eh?” Mark laughs, oblivious to how little Negan was paying attention “Y’know, I think it would be a big success if you both convince Gregory to dress up as Santa… although knowing him, he’d probably want some of the ladies to sit on his knee”. 

Mark shivers at the image before zipping up his bulky coat, as if that would stop his imagination. “Why the fuck would Gregory be dressed as Santa?” Negan laughs “And what would that have to do with me?”.

Finally, he puts down his phone.

Mark shrugs “Just throwing out some ideas for the Christmas party, oh– and make sure to take some pictures of it! I want to see everything from my sun lounger on the sandy beaches of Jamaica”.

“I’ll ask again,” Negan tries not to get annoyed “what the fuck does all that have to do with me?”.

And then Mark says it. The words that would haunt Negan.

“Haven’t you checked the group chat?”.

Negan didn’t take much notice of the group chat, one that he never even asked to be added to in the first place. He’s never been bothered enough to text a message in and just skims through it every once in a while when he’s diabolically bored.

The next ten minutes, Negan spends alone, muttering to himself as he scrolls through the messages. 

Stupid fuckin’ Gregory trying to rock shit that shouldn’t be rocked. Same goes for Eugene and his shitty fuckin’ weekend getaway idea. Negan would prefer that over Gregory’s though, considering a city visit means a much broader pond for him to fish in. Although the Kingdom has never failed in the past, the restaurant’s dim lighting and loud music make most gal’s up for it.

But then he got to Mark’s message. Or, ‘blessing’ would be more fitting, considering he gave the go ahead for the sports hall to be used for the staff party.

Like fuck they were going to get wasted in his fucking sports hall. Do they really think he’s that stupid? Negan’s fucking office is beside the hall and with a bunch of depressed, drunk teachers right next door, his place would actually become a ‘fucking office’ but full of the wrong people. 

And for Mark of all people to offer up the hall, while he’ll be away tanning himself in Jamaica? Talk about friendly fuckin’ fire. 

It would be nice to have been considered in this shit. Fuck Mark. And fuck that disingenuous thumbs up emoji too. Oh, and fuck the very idea of this Christmas party being on his turf. 

Just as Negan is about to turn off his phone, he sees it. Out of all the people to volunteer for a last minute collab, you so eagerly offer to help? Negan smirks, running his tongue along his bottom lip. 

“You are something else” He mutters to himself, fiddling with his phone as he figures out how to properly save you as a contact. 

As far as Negan is concerned, there’s only two options. Either a gun was held to your head and that’s why you offered to help him, or… maybe, just maybe… the day before was your own funny little way of flirting. Negan prefers that option.

Typing out a contact name for you, he adds in some detail. It’s tough remembering each person, especially when he’s already ghosting so many and thus, the more detail added to jog his memory, the better. 

Next to your name he adds a set of brackets: (good ass, weird at flirting).

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

You stay off your phone until late afternoon, unable to bear the thoughts of looking at that godforsaken group chat.

You hoped the group chat would help your socialising skills, especially after the move to a new town. You can’t even remember the last time you went out with friends, mainly because you’d need friends to do that. 

Moving away from your family to this small town was supposed to be the new beginning you see in tv shows, full of quirky characters, constant but unimportant drama and an array of hunky love interests. Instead you have Carol, a Christmas party to plan and a gym teacher that hates your guts. 

A part of you hoped that if you just ignored your apparent request to help with the Christmas party, then it would all fade away. But the swarm of teachers at lunch gave you quite the reality check. 

“Will there be a dinner provided? Or just finger food?”.

“I heard Gregory’s dressing up as Santa, do we have to sully Father Christmas’ name with something like that?”.

“Are you sure having it next Friday is a good idea? I mean, it’s the kids last day of term so they’ll be running riot! How will we be able to enjoy ourselves after dealing with that all day?”.

“Will there be tequila?”.

When the bell rings for classes to begin again, you hurry off as fast as you can, promising to have answers to everyone’s question… eventually.

You rush in and glance at the empty chairs, relieved that your students haven’t arrived yet. But when your eyes shift to your desk, you freeze.

“Jesus fu-“ you manage to stop yourself before the curse comes out.

Your body goes rigid as the shock overrides you, unsure whether this will be a showdown or simply another bickering match. Subconsciously gripping your small lunch bag, you hesitantly walk nearer to him.

Negan sits there with a wide grin, satisfied that he caught you off guard. 

Quickly recuperating, you try to up your confidence as you move closer to your desk, giving him a stern look. “If you’re here to ask me to cover more of your detention shifts, then you’re out of luck” you keep your voice as neutral as possible, not wanting to add to his smugness.

“You didn’t have a problem doing it last time” Negan teases with one of those easy going smiles, standing from his seat so you can sit.

You don’t justify that with a response, shooting him another badly hidden glare as you sit and set your things onto your desk.

Keeping his stride, Negan swoops up your lunch bag and begins searching it’s content.

“Hey!” You exclaim, debating whether you should stand and take it off him. The image of him holding it just out of reach pops into your head and to avoid a humiliating re-enactment of that, you stay seated.

“Hmph, sandwich,” he shrugs, eyes lingering on your lunch “oooh and a half eaten blueberry muffin! Now that looks tasty as shit”.

You bite back a huff. “Tasty as shit?” You question, wondering if you should take offence. 

“You know what I mean,” he mumbles flippantly, setting your lunch bag down but keeping the muffin.

As much as you want to badger him with questions as to why he’s here, you know that’ll inevitably lead to him hanging around longer. So, you stay quiet. You don't try to make conversation, simply organising your notes for your next class and ignoring his presence. If he’s come into your classroom then he can state his business, not wait for you to try and pull it out of him. 

Besides, maybe he’s like a poltergeist and if you ignore him long enough then might disappear. 

With his mouth full of your blueberry muffin, Negan taps one of the folders on your desk. “Are these all your big ideas for the Christmas Party?” he asks. 

Pressing your lips together, you muster up your professional front. “Actually, Negan, about that…” you start “it’s a big misunderstanding, I never technically agreed to help with the Christmas party, I was just replying to Sherry’s question in the group chat. So, you’ll have to find someone else to help you plan it”.

You give a big grin, unable to hide the slight joy it gives you to leave him in the lurch. 

Negan meets your smile with one of his own, leaning down so he’s eye level. His tone is just as patronizing as you expect “Naawww, honey, that bullshit excuse won’t fly”.

You don’t back down. Like a child, you mimic his tone “It’s not bullshit, it’s the truth and obviously a simple miscommunication, something you’d know if you actually read the texts”.

Negan studies you for a moment, eyes narrowing slightly. He may not know you but he knows exactly what you are.

Negan chuckles under his breath, knowing full well that if he’d been in high school with you, he’d have to find a way to coax you away from your perfect little study sessions.

You’d be the type that would give him a disapproving look if he didn’t do his homework. The one that would hesitate to ditch classes because you want to be a goody two shoes and not rock the boat. Hell, you’d probably try to talk him into going back to class after he swoons you behind the bleachers. 

If there’s one thing Negan knows he can count on, it’s your honesty. Despite what he says, he’s aware you’re not the type to bullshit. He found that out first hand yesterday.

Your comment about him floats back into his memory and he has to wiggle his jaw to loosen it.

”I mean, from what I've heard, her side of the bed wasn't even cold and he was already crawling into the beds of other women” your words echo in his head.

You definitely caught him off guard with that one but it’s not like he can be mad when it’s true. Your damn honesty is annoying, Negan is sure about that.

So when you’re adamant it’s a mistake, Negan does actually believe you… but that doesn’t mean he can’t use this to his advantage.

“Miscommunication, huh?” Negan taunts, trying to goad you “well, in case none of your gossip buddies filled you in yet, Ol’ Greg will be like a goddamn sore on your ass if you try to sell him that excuse. Just a little FYI for ya”.

You scoff. It’s all right there in black and white, anyone who reads all the texts can see you didn’t mean to volunteer for this shit. The only reason no one is admitting that is because you’ve become the scapegoat, thrown forward to work with this jackass.

Still, the stubbornness in you outweighs your willingness to do this just so everyone else is off the hook. Any semblance of a petty smile leaves your face and is replaced by a pout.

Negan holds your gaze, his deep brown eyes twinkling with a playful glint as he takes another bite of muffin. His eyes sparkle with seductive mischief, as if to communicate what his lips (and full mouth) can’t.

“Well, FYI for you,” your words cut through the air, direct and sharp “No, I’m not bullshitting anyone. No, I am not helping you. And no, I am not giving you my number so stop with the eyes!”.

Negan chews thoughtfully.

There’s a genuine smile tracing his lips by the time he swallows. “Jesus, sweetheart, I didn’t even mention getting your number and you’re already aching to give it to me,” he lets out a low chuckle, running his tongue along his bottom lip as you scowl. 

“What? No, that’s not - ugh, that’s not what I meant” you ramble as he swallows more of your muffin.

“Don’t worry, I got some good news on that front,” he pauses for dramatic effect “I already got your number and, I don’t even think you’re bullshitting with that super weak excuse!”.

A wave of confusion washes over you, your mind scrambling to make sense of what he just said. Your heart skips a beat as you blink rapidly, trying to process it all but the confusion only deepens.

“W-what— how?! No, you can’t—“ you stutter “you have my number?”.

“That’s not the important part right now, honey” Negan shrugs casually, standing up straight “what’s important is how I’m trying to warn ya, y’gotta be strategic if you’re gonna tell Gregory you’re not interested in doing this party shit”.

A steady stream of students begin to filter in, giving you both curious looks before sitting. Negan pays no attention to them.

Now that they’re others around, you lower your voice “What? We’re not moving on from you having my phone number!”.

“Anyways, I see you got shitheads to teach,” Negan doesn’t lower his voice as he looks around at the students “so I’ll leave you to it, but why don’t you swing by my office when the day is done? I think I’ll be able to help you get out of this party shitshow. Sound good? Great”.

With a wink, Negan doesn’t wait for an answer and disappears out the door, taking the rest of your muffin with him.

Your jaw clenches, already knowing what your student’s faces will look like once they register that you’ll be seeing Negan later, outside of work hours. 

The room falls silent as whispers start to swirl. Some of the kids exchange knowing glances, others raise their eyebrows and a few stifle giggles. The students are eating it up, practically salivating over the scandalous idea of you being Negan’s latest pursuit.

You rub your temple, wishing you could just get the day over with. The unfortunate part is that you’re starting to grow used to Negan’s antics, but the curious looks and murmurs? That’s something you absolutely do not want to become a common occurrence.

Clearing your throat, you force yourself to focus and start your lesson. Thankfully, everyone kicks into learning mode pretty easily and the murmuring fades to nothing.

The rest of your classes go by in a blur, mindlessly spouting off Shakespeare as the kids try to decipher what the hell any of it is supposed to mean while you wonder if you should go to Negan’s office after school. 

As much as you hate to admit it, Negan has a point. Deep down, you know he’s right about Gregory. The man’s a stickler and he never forgets—or forgives—anything. No matter how much you try to explain that you didn’t mean to volunteer for the Christmas party, Gregory will hold a grudge. And that’s the last thing you need, especially this early in your job.

You can practically hear him in your head now, his clipped tone passive-aggressively accusing you of not being a team player, of not taking your responsibilities seriously. The thought sends a knot of dread into your stomach.

You want to stay stubborn and insist this was all just a mistake, but is it worth the trouble it could bring? Planning a Christmas party with Negan couldn’t be that bad… right?

You’ve already worked so hard to fit in and make a good impression. Pissing off someone like Gregory is like kicking a wasp’s nest on purpose. He won’t confront you directly; he’ll just sting you with a thousand tiny jabs. Negan’s been around much longer than you, at this point he’s practically a veteran at this place. And hopefully, he’s got some kind of way with Gregory.

Of course, taking up Negan’s offer to help is the last thing you want to do. You don’t trust him as far as you could throw his lanky ass.

Yet somehow you still find yourself outside of his office after school, debating whether you should enter his lair or run while you still can. Staring at the office door, you gulp as you read the bold “COACH SMITH” sign on the opaque matte glass. There’s a fraction of you that’s hopeful you got it wrong again and this is Mark Smith's office.

You hesitate, raising your hand to knock before faltering again and dropping your arm back down to your side. 

“Just cause the glass is frosted, don’t mean I can’t see you” his voice makes you stiffen momentarily before your shoulders sag and you just open the door. 

A broad, mischievous grin greets you. Negan sits as though he’s the student, not the teacher. His chair teeters on its back legs, while his long legs are casually propped up on the desk.

“Hey there, sweetheart,” he says it like he’s in on a secret joke “you wanna lock the door behind you?”.

Your face contorts in a mix of disbelief and shock. “Uh, no!” you exclaim, your expression saying it all.

Negan shrugs, laughing “A voyeur, huh? I can get behind that”.

You can feel the annoyance creeping up inside of you, like a slow burning sizzling under your skin. “Y’know I am this close to reporting you for sexual harassment,” you retort “and you owe me a muffin!”.

Raising his hands in faux surrender, Negan tries to turn on his charm “Damn it, sweetheart, here I am trying to help you out and you’re threatening to report me? Take it easy, sit, I know this whole Gregory shitstorm must have you stressed out”.

Hesitantly taking up his offer, you sit across from him. “So?” you ask “what wisdom do you have to bestow on me?”.

You watch Negan pucker his lips slightly to keep himself quiet, already thinking of another innuendo he could bestow upon you.

Swaying back on his chair, Negan says “Well, I was thinking of that saying, the one that goes like 'the best party is the one that never happens'". 

You scrunch up your face, not following his line of thinking. “That’s not a saying” you point out.

Letting his legs fall off the desk, he leans across the desk, getting down to business. “It should be, though,” Negan admits before clearing his throat “look, here’s the bottom line, you shouldn’t be wasting your time trying to stop yourself from helping out with the party. Y’gotta stop the party entirely”.

Now you’re even more lost.

You know Gregory will be annoyed when he hears you don’t want to volunteer, so you can only imagine how frustrated he’ll be if you actively campaign to cancel the teacher’s supposed one night of fun.

“I’ll back you up… partially,” Negan mutters the last part under his breath but you still hear it. Your expression shifts to a deadpan stare. A part of you wonders if this is his final pay back for your badmouthing.

"I swear, you’re actually trying to get me fired" you say, clearly annoyed.

Negan’s smirk says it all and yet he still tries to convince you "Me? I’m just lookin’ out for you, sweetheart. Trust me. I’ve seen it all. You plan a Christmas party, next thing you know, teachers are too drunk to think, they all end up sobbing or fucking, someone gets hurt and boom—the whole thing’s on your head. Cancelling it now? That’s just smart planning".

Scoffing, you roll your eyes and stand “You’re unbelievable”.

He grins “I try”.

You turn to leave but the frustration builds. You spin back around, exasperated. “And why can’t you just tell Gregory this yourself? You have to help with the party too!”.

And then it clicks. You scoff in disbelief. Negan doesn’t want the hassle of being the one to oppose the Christmas party. He’d rather sit back, let you take the heat, and still get his way.

Crossing your arms, you watch him closely as you comment “Bet ya can’t wait for everyone to be in the sports hall, huh?”.

Much to your amusement, Negan has a terrible poker face. His mouth immediately turns downwards, eyebrows drawn together as his jaw stiffens “Oh yeah, can’t wait for everybody to be in my hall”.

A sly smile quickly appears on your face, eyelids at half mast as you purposefully wait for Negan to look your way again. When he does, he grumbles “What?”. 

“Gotcha,” you says with the raise of your eyebrows, smile getting even wider “you hate doing this, don’t you?”.

Negan scoffs “You’re the one with your panties in a twist over doing this party, not me”. 

You roll your eyes, smile still on your face and leaving Negan’s attempts to goad you simply slide off of you. You give a small laugh “Damn, Mr Big Shot, why won’t you tell Gregory you don’t wanna do this?”.

He narrows his eyes at you but you don’t let that deter you. “You scared of little ol’ Gregory?” you taunt playfully, knowing that should be enough to irk him. 

Sticking his index finger in your direction, Negan retorts “Watch it, don’t think I don’t know you’re trying to wind me up”. 

You laugh, shaking your head. With his shoulders square, Negan lets out a tight huff “I’m trying to do you a favour here, doll. You don’t want this extra shit on your plate, believe fuckin’ me”.

“I don’t want this extra shit or you don’t?”.

Standing to full height, Negan’s office chair rolls backwards and bounces against one of the filing cabinet. “You know what, I tried to warn you,” he tries to sound sincere “you want to dive straight into the deep end and go along with this party, that’s your fuckin’ problem. I’ll leave my office door open for when you come crying to me about all this”.

“Oh you don’t need to leave your door open, you’re helping plan this party too,” you have a cheery tone as you remind him, a sense of satisfaction filling you “unless you want me to plan the party with Coach Joey instead. One of you coaches will have to be involved if we’re using the sports hall”.

Negan flexes his jaw for a moment. “First off, don’t even call Fat Joey a goddamn coach, he’s a glorified intern. And he doesn’t get a say on what happens on my turf” he corrects you “and secondly… damn sweetheart, you’re petty enough to plan this party just to piss me off?”.

Grabbing the door, you swing it open with a little too much gusto. But who could blame you when your patience has completely worn out with this jackass? Trying to keep your mock cheeriness going, you give him your best jolly glare “I guess I am, yeah”.

Negan chuckles, meeting your glare with one of his own. “Fine then,” he concedes “you want to plan a fuckin’ Christmas party? Then let’s plan a party”.

There's a slight sinking feeling in your gut but you refuse to back out now, not wanting to give Negan the satisfaction. Turning on your heels, you walk out, your head reeling by what has just happened. Negan stays standing as you go, a slight smirk on his face.

You’re petty, stubborn, honest to a fault and as far as Negan’s concerned, you got balls bigger than most of the men at this damn school.

next chapter here!

———

gif made from scenepack provided by harleys.scenes on insta <3

[otomehonyaku]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Chaos Lineage ☽ Ebten WonderGOO Tokuten Drama CD ☽ The Vampire’s Everyday: Board Game Edition (Ruki, Azusa, Kino)

Original title: DIABOLIK LOVERS CHAOS LINEAGE ebten・WonderGOO特典ドラマCD「ヴァンパイア達の日常ボードゲーム編 ─ルキVSアズサVSキノ─ 」 Voiced by Sakurai Takahiro (Ruki), Kishio Daisuke (Azusa), Maeno Tomoaki (Kino) English translation by @otomehonyaku Click here for the audio (thank you to @karleksmumskladdkaka for providing the audio!)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Please do not reuse or repost my translations elsewhere or translate my work into other languages without my permission.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Bet you didn't think we'd get to work on these so quickly! I want to give a HUGE thank you to @karleksmumskladdkaka for acquiring all of these rare CDs and sharing the audio with me for translation (づ>/////<)づ♡ This tokuten was hilarious and the bits where Ruki is trying to catch the Golden Bunny is just... his tactics might not have worked on the bunny (my own pet bunny would be equally unfazed) but I would've jumped straight into his arms. As always, enjoy listening and reading along! (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[The scene starts with Kino aggressively tapping on his smartphone as he’s playing a game.]

00:00 Kino: And… I’ve cleared it! Ah, I’ve gotten tired of this game too… I should look for a new one to play.

[Kino searches the app store.]

K: Hm? What’s this? Huh? An app based on a board game? I’m not really into board games, but it’s been newly released, so I should download it just to check it out. Alright! It’s finished downloading. I’m gonna start it right away.

[Kino boots up the game.]

K: Oh! What an interesting opening to the game.

[The world starts swirling around Kino.]

K: Huh? What’s happening?! Why did such a strong wind start blowing all of a sudden? My body is being pulled into my smartphone by an incredibly powerful force. Ah… I can’t hold on… Ah!

[Kino disappears into his smartphone.] 01:13 [The scene shifts to Ruki reading in his room in the Mukami mansion.]

Ruki: Ah… 

[There’s a knock on the door.]

R: Azusa? What’s up?

Azusa: How did you know… it was me?

R: Because Kou and Yuma are both out today. You’re the only one here.

A: Ah… I see. Hey, Ruki. I’m sorry for… interrupting your reading, but…

R: What’s wrong? Is that a smartphone in your hand?

A: Yeah, it is… Kou told me to check out a smartphone game earlier… This game… was released recently… I thought we could play it, but… I don’t know… how to start the app…

R: I see. So that’s what you came to ask.

A: Yeah. Kou isn’t here either, so… Do you… know how to do it, Ruki?

R: Of course. I know that much. Give me the smartphone. So you just want me to download the game that’s on the screen right now?

A: Yeah, I think so…

[Ruki downloads the game.]

R: Hm. This should do it. It downloaded successfully. Now you just have to tap this button to start the game.

A: I got it. So I should tap here… right? Like this…

[Azusa boots up the app and the world starts swirling around him.]

A: Huh? What’s with… this strong wind? Is this… part of the game? Ah… 

R: No, that can’t be it… What’s going on? It’s like I’m being sucked into the smartphone…!

A: It’s happening to me too… Ah!

[Azusa disappears into the smartphone.]

R: Hey, Azusa…! …Shit!

[Ruki disappears along with him.]

03:55 K: Ugh… Ow… That really caught me off-guard. Hey… How long was I out? And where am I? It’s so dark that I can barely see what’s around me. Huh? There’s someone else on the ground, though. There’s two of them… Mukami Ruki and Azusa? Why are they here too?

[Kino tries to shake the Mukami brothers awake.]

K: Come on, wake up, you two. Hey, I’m telling you to wake up, damn it!

[Ruki stirs to life.]

R: Ugh…

K: Damn, you’re slow. Are you finally awake? And how about your brother?

R: Hey, Azusa. Wake up. Open your eyes.

[Azusa stirs to life as well.]

A: Ugh… Where are we? And why is… Kino here?

[Azusa sits up.]

R: Hey, Kino. Where are we?

And why are we here?

K: I don’t know either. When I woke up, I just kinda found myself here.

A: Earlier, we were… trying to play a game, though… What were you doing… before you got here, Kino…?

K: Me? I was just trying to play a game, but I was suddenly sucked into my smartphone. Before I knew it, I found myself in this strange place.

A: I see… So we were doing the exact same thing… The game you were trying to play… was it a… ‘game-of-life’ kind of game?

K: Oh, yes, that was it! You had to spin a roulette wheel. It was kinda like sugoroku (1).

R: I see… So that means that new game is likely the cause of all this. Besides, I’ve been wondering about that thing over there. Look.

A: Oh…? A gigantic… roulette wheel?

[Kino walks over to the roulette wheel.]

K: Oh! Look, look! If you look closely, there are squares (2) on the ground. 

R: Judging from those square spaces, we really do seem to be inside that game. I don’t know what caused all of this, exactly, but that seems to be the most likely explanation. Anyway, let’s stay put until we know more.

07:10 [Kino is already spinning the roulette wheel.]

K: Huh? D’ya say something?

R: Hey…! Why did you spin that wheel?

K: Why? Because I felt like it, of course.

R: I just told you to stay put!

K: Oh, it’s alright! You’ll overexert yourself if you get pissed off at me for such small things.

R: If that’s what you think, aren’t you better off not doing those things? Don’t put this on me!

A: You two… now’s not the time to fight…

[A countdown signal goes off.]

K: What’s that sound?

A: It sounds like… something has started.

R: Be careful. It sounds like something’s coming towards us.

[A very large spider comes towards the boys.]

K: Ah! What’s up with that giant spider?! It’s gross!

A: It’s huge…

R: Damn… We’ve been hauled into this unknown place and now we’re being attacked by a gigantic spider? These are some strange things happening… Kino. This is your fault. You take down the spider.

K: What? Why me? Get off your high horse and stop ordering me around. I’m not your little brother.

R: We’re in this situation because you were careless enough to spin that roulette wheel. This is your responsibility, so you should do something about it…

[Ruki and Kino’s bickering fades to the background as Azusa tries to appeal to the spider.]

A: Those two…

[The spider roars.]

R: [In the background] So, that means that you’re under my watch now.

A: [To the spider] I’m sorry… They ended up ignoring you.

K: [In the background] Ha, I get it! You’re just a little weakling, then! That’s why you always order people around!

A: [To the spider] They just kind of… started bickering, and… 

R: [In the background] Heh! 

[The spider roars again.]

A: What should I do…? What can I even do…?

[Azusa walks around.]

A: Ah! 

09:00R: Speak for yourself! You’re looking for excuses because you’re actually not confident that you can defeat that spider!

K: What? D’you think you can just make fun of me?

[The spider roars again.]

K: [To the spider] Hey, shut the fuck up! Take this!

[Kino attacks the spider.]

R: You should stay quiet while people are talking. Good grief, you have no manners.

[Ruki attacks the spider, killing it. Ruki walks over to it.]

R: Finally, you’ve gone quiet.

A: Ah… so you’ve defeated the spider.

R: Yeah, well, this clearly isn’t a place for leisuring. We should look around for clues so we can get out of here as fast as possible.

A: Ah, about that… Look at this. The spot that the roulette wheel landed on… it reads… “a large volume of spiders will show up,” “dispose of them rather than complaining”...

K: A large volume of spiders? So that’s what that spider was just now?

R: I see. So in this realm, whatever is written on the spaces will become reality.

K: Wow, that’s cool! So that means we’re playing a sort of sensory experience game here?

A: What’s written on the spaces… will actually materialise… But this space… doesn’t say anything about one gigantic spider… But we haven’t seen more spiders, either…

K: Aren’t they just talking about bugs? It’s a common occurrence in newly released games. And we’re inside the game right now, so that could explain it.

R: I see. Whatever the case, we should not stick around much longer. We’re getting out of here. Now.

11:05 A: But… how?

R: I have an idea.

K: Well, it doesn’t take a genius to come up with an escape plan. If we’re inside a game, we’ll just have to end the game, won’t we?

A: So, that means…

K: Yep, we just have to clear the game.

R: However, whatever is written on the square spaces seems to actually occur inside this game. Clearing it is not going to be easy.

A: Ah… actually, when you two were fighting earlier… I found something. Look. Come over here.

[Azusa leads them to a different spot.]

A: Look at this space. 

K: Huh? What’s this?

R: It says “Find the Golden Bunny for good luck. You may proceed to the goal immediately.”

K: Well, then, we can clear the game if we find that Golden Bunny, right?

R: I suppose so. Well done, Azusa.

A: Yeah.

R: However, I don’t think we’ll be able to find that bunny so easily…

[Lo and behold, a bunny hops by.]

K: Huh? Was that…?

R: The Golden… Bunny.

[The Golden Bunny happily hops away.]

K: Oh! Stop standing around. Let’s catch it! Come on, you two!

A: Ah… alright.

R: Kino, let’s work together. I’ll lend you a hand this time so we can get out of here.

K: Heh, get off your high horse. But, well, alright. I’ll join forces with you to escape this place. Don’t stand in my way, though.

A: Yes! Let’s all work together, then.

R: Great. We’re going after that bunny!

[The three run after the bunny.]

13:15 A: Haa… haa… Yes! We’ve caught up with it! Hehe. [To the bunny] Hey… you look… pretty tasty. Come on… don’t be scared. I’ll do you a favour… and catch you!

[Azusa tries to catch the bunny but it gets away and Azusa falls.]

A: Oh. Ow…

K: Jeez, don’t just try to grab it like that! Cornering it will only scare it away. You’ll never catch the bunny that way!

A: Sorry… Ah, Ruki… It’s coming your way!

[The bunny hops over to Ruki. Ruki and the bunny have a staredown.]

R: Well. Hey, you! Bunny. Come here. I’ll be nice to you. Now, jump into my arms! 

[The bunny—unlike the translator—is unfazed by Ruki’s tactics and it runs off.]

R: That’s strange… Why didn’t it jump into my arms?

K: What?! Did you seriously expect that to work? Oh, the two of you are completely useless.

R: Hey, Kino! It’s heading your way! Don’t waste this chance. Catch it!

K: What? It’s easy for you to order me around! Did you forget your own failure so easily? This pisses me off. I might be stubborn, but I’m going to fucking catch you!

[The bunny hops by Kino.]

K: Take this!

[Kino throws himself on top of the bunny. Ruki and Azusa run over to him.]

A: Kino!

R: Kino! Hey, did you catch it?

[Kino holds up the bunny.]

K: I did it… I caught it! I did it!

A: What a relief… Now we’ll be able to go home… We were able to catch it… because we all worked together.

R: Yeah, we did. It’s not so bad to help each other out.

K: Whoa, now. It’s thanks to my efforts that we’ve got the bunny. The two of you didn’t even do anything. Stop that sappy talk.

15:18A: This bunny… is pretty docile… and fluffy… 

K: It really is. It’s pretty cute with its little twitching nose.

A: Yeah… how cute. Hey, Ruki. Can’t we keep a bunny at home?

R: That’s not a good idea. I’d be the one constantly looking after it in the end.

A: It’s okay. I’ll take good care of it. So… please, Ruki?

K: Do you two always have such dull conversations? A Golden Bunny, though… They’re pretty rare. It would be nice if there were more of them.

[Something starts rumbling in the distance.]

A: Hey… Do you guys… hear something?

[An army of bunnies appears and heads for the boys.]

K: Are those… Why is there a horde of Golden Bunnies?! And why are they all coming our way?

R: Kino, you fool… Because of your careless remark—

K: Ah! Did I do that?!

A: Is this… also a bug? Hehe. There are so many bunnies…

K: Why do you look so happy about it? This is bad!

A: [In the background] Hehe… So many…

K: Agh! I can’t—The bunnies are trampling over me—

R: Fuck! How did it come to—Agh!

[The boys are buried under all the bunnies.]

17:11[Kino shoots upright in his bed.]

K: Ah! I thought I was going to suffocate. But… Huh? I’m in my own bed. Does that mean that wave of bunnies was… only a dream? Well… Of course it was. I wonder why those Mukami brothers were in my dream, though. It felt awfully real. Hmm…

[Ruki and Azusa also wake up in cold sweat.]

R: Ah… The bunnies?! They’re gone…

A: We’re in… your room, Ruki.

R: Apparently, we just fell asleep in my room somehow…

A: Yeah, but… I had a… strange dream.

R: Me too. A bad dream. I saw a giant spider and gold-coloured bunnies. It all sounds like a wicked joke, I’m sure.

A: Same for me… I also saw golden bunnies… Come to think of it… For some reason, Kino was also there…

R: I see. So you saw him too, Azusa… It seems a little too strange to be a coincidence for the two of us to have the same dream.

A: It does… But it was a really strange dream…

R: It was. It felt strangely realistic, too, but it was only a dream, after all.

A: So the giant spider… appeared in your dream too…

R: It did. It was a pretty rude one, at that, because it kept trying to interrupt our conversation.

A: Yeah… but, Ruki…

[The conversation trails off…]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

双六（すごろく）: Sugoroku is a Japanese board game kind of similar to backgammon and snakes and ladders, where you have to move all of your pieces to the other side of the board as quickly as you can. Sugoroku often incorporates elements from real life—like religion, politics, etc.—into this ‘race’ for storytelling purposes and more exciting play. You could liken it to the Game of Life too, in my opinion.

マス目 （ますめ）：Squares; square-shaped spaces like the spaces you see on the board of a board game.

[theoriginalsinner28]

So I saw Hayden Christensen at the tampa bay comic con friday and I was sooo shy. First off, I thought he was going to be out in the celebrity row area where you can see him giving people autographs. I was really hoping to walk by and lose my shit before I actually met him for the picture. But I guess not! He was in a different room where we had to line up and there were different sessions. So I get in the line and instant shaking. And this couple was talking to me and they said he's super sweet they saw him before. So then It comes to be the girls turn in front of me and I peek my head around the wall to see him and oh my God he's even more beautiful in person! So I covered my mouth with my hand and squealed a little. Then it was my turn and he shook my hand and I told him my name and asked if we could hug and he smiled and hugged me for the pic!!!!! I died because we r literally holding each other in the pic!! When I went to go get the pic, the couple I saw in line was trying to tell me how to get my digital download and I told them they r gonna have to repeat that because my head was in a whirl and I was dying! My hands were shaking sooo bad! Then I was trying to decide for an hour if I wanted to do the autograph and I decided to do it. It was worth every penny! So when I went back for the autograph, I was less nervous but still nervous. The first thing he did was pick up the picture and he said "this is a really good picture!" And I died even more! Ahhhh! I Then said yes it was great! I asked him if he rode horses since he has a farm in Canada and he said he doesn't have any on his property right now but he does ride. I asked if he rode western or English and he said western and I smiled and told him I did both but I grew up on a small farm. I started to get red and he didn't respond but looked in my eyes then at my cheeks because I was turning red and then smiled a sort of shy smile and I thanked him and left. Omg I can't believe I was so shy and tried to hide it. I'm sure he saw through it and idk if he thought I was wierd or was caught off guard cuz I asked him something that wasn't star wars related or what he was feeling so im currently going coo coo. Lol! I think he was just being shy but idk! I just can't believe we were holding each other and I got to talk to him for a second! They best time of my life! That morning of the con I literally woke up at 4 am and couldn't go back to sleep. I've never been more excited for something in my life! I'm so happy and thankful I got this experience and it was worth every penny! Once in a lifetime! I have tickets for all 4 days of megacon in orlando in February and I will deff be cosplaying then for the first time and I will not be shy! I really wanted to tell him how special his character is to me but I was sooo shy. Next time! I worked out all month and ate super healthy just to prepare for this and I drove 2 hours to see him. I'm super into fitness anyways but this just motivated me even further. I love him so much and I'm beyond thankful that I got to have this experience. My dream come true! ❤️

[shatterinseconds]

“It’s a simple three step beat; what aren’t you understanding about it, Mullet?” Lance asks, annoyance beginning to leak through his voice. He’s tried to cap his frustration as much as possible throughout the past hour. But this has become ridiculous. If anything, Keith has gotten worse at dancing than when they started the lesson. Brief pain sparks through Lance’s foot and he cracks. “And stepping on my toes isn’t one of them!”

“Some of us didn’t get three years of ballroom dance lessons,” Keith snaps, irritated. 

“Which is why I’m teaching you. But you’re not listening to a single thing I say! You can’t even get close to me.” Lance tries to tug Keith forward but he remains just as stubborn as always, aggravating and infuriating. 

What looms between them is a larger gap than needed, with Keith holding him at an arm’s length as if he’s a poisonous snake ready to bite. A balloon would fall straight through to the floor; Lance’s arms are almost entirely extended. He thought Keith would be a little more willing considering the stake of the mission. 

Keith clenches his jaw. “I’m trying.”

“For someone as coordinated as you on the battlefield, this shouldn’t be this difficult.” Lance scowls, taking a page out of Keith’s book.

“Me not knowing how to dance isn’t going to break the alliance.”

“Were you even listening to Allura?”

“Were you?” Keith bites back, too smirky for Lance’s taste. Yeah, he may have been fiddling with his comm device under the table, trying to play an old earth game Pidge had downloaded onto it. That’s beside the point.

So Lance ignores him. “The Zolxox see dance as a creation of trust and loyalty between two groups of people. If we miss a step, they won’t join the coalition.”

“But why’d it have to be us?” The Zolxox only needed a pair of dancers, not their whole team.  

Lance rolls his eyes. “Because I have three years of dance experience, duh.” But his annoyance quickly fades when Keith doesn’t snap back with their classic banter. In fact, he continues to stand there, his hands not exactly touching Lance anymore but hovering. Keith stares at him with such a blank expression that Lance allows a bit of the truth to spill. “And–And because I work best with you,” he mumbles, ducking his head to avoid any minute reaction from Keith. When he does flick his gaze up, Keith remains impassive. “But you gotta listen to me, Mullet. Why won’t you just follow what I say?”

That’s when Lance loses Keith entirely. He steps back from Lance, arms folded against his chest, not loose at all. Keith can’t seem to look at him anymore either. “It’s awkward… being close to you.”

“Oh.” Lance drops his empty hands, suddenly despondent. He didn’t know Keith felt that way about him. He thought they’d finally become friends, maybe inching toward something more. Maybe Lance should have chosen Allura for this mission like everyone thought he would. His shoulders begin to hunch forward.

“Shit, no, not in that way.” Keith groans as he cards a hand through his hair, frustrated at himself. Strands stick out in multiple directions, silly enough that Lance wants to punch through whatever new wall is between them and fix it for him. But Keith wouldn’t appreciate that. “I just meant, I know the way I feel about you isn’t how you feel about me and I don’t want to make it weird for you.”

“How do you know how I feel about you if you never once asked?”

Keith gives him a look. “Please. You flirt with everyone but me. Even I understand what that means.”

“That’s not—That’s—Oh my god—” Lance suddenly steps forward, waving his arms as he talks, too flustered to be rational. “With everyone else, it’s fun, meaningless, a way to lighten the mood.” His skin heats enough that he must be glowing from embarrassment. “But you—With you, it’s different. I try to spend time together and constantly try to get your atten—wait.” Eyes popping wide, Lance starts to point, jabbing his finger into Keith’s chest. “You just told me you liked me!” His brain finally internalizes what Keith had said, what Keith implied. It immediately derails his train of thought. “You like me!”

Keith startles before his entire expression pinches. He growls. “Uh uh, we’re focusing on you and your terrible flirting techniques.” He steps up to Lance and keeps stepping toward him until he is the only thing Lance can focus on. Those violet eyes bore into Lance, head tilted and brows drawn. “How was I supposed to know I was different?” he asks, low and steady. 

“Goddammit, Keith.” Lance surges forward and kisses Keith square on the mouth. His hands weave through Keith’s hair, musing it further, while Keith’s strong grip lands on his waist, fingers hooking into his belt loops. He pulls Lance in and tugs on his lower lip, his teeth scraping slightly but in a way that buzzes across Lance’s skin. When they part, Lance is breathless with swollen lips and eyes half-lidded. It’s a struggle to speak but he manages to mumble, “Does that clear things up?”

Keith nods. Blush stains his pale cheeks though he holds Lance’s stare, never wavering, and he even starts to smirk the longer they remain in silence. Like he knows that he affected Lance just as much as Lance affected him. 

He’s going to be the death of Lance one day; this man…

“G-Good,” Lance finally says, struggling to regain his composure, if he ever had some to begin with. “We’ll talk about this later. But right now, we dance.”

Kith groans, though less annoyed than before, and for the first time, effortlessly moves all the way into Lance’s space, smiling a small smile. They dance without any issues, except for maybe a few butterflies.

[formulapookie]

Diggianini 60

60. Truth serum/spell

He doesn't know precisely when it started, if this morning or yesterday already when he told his physiotherapist his shoulder hurt so much he barely could eat with that arm at lunch, all he knows is that this is really fucked up.

He cannot help but tell the truth, compulsively, repeatedly, about everything. He looked online for it, fearing a tumor or something similar, a problem with his brain maybe, neurons not acting properly.

Google told him there was a condition like his caused by a truth serum, the one you usually see in spy movies like James Bond, and he never actually thought those were real.

He read it can be contained in certain types of medicines and painkillers, and started reading through the impressively long list, it's always cited as a side effect, who even reads those, they're like Terms and Conditions that appear when you download an app on your phone. The serum is in two of the four painkillers he's prescribed, a rate of manifestation in the patient rated 1.5/1000, what a fucking joke really.

"Fuck"

In his job, lying is important, whenever they ask him about the shoulder, or the feelings after a race, he mostly lies, if he ever got the truth out it would be terrible for his PR image.

He quickly gets to the track, and starts walking around once he's inside his motorhome, pacing in weirdly shaped circles.

He wonders wether or not he should inform the PR team, Uccio maybe even, to ensure he's excluded from media questions until the effects die down.

Eventually he calls his PR manager, quickly explains the situation, and he assures him they'll take preventive measures to protect him from eventual mediatic disasters.

The one thing, or rather, person he didn't hold into count when thinking of his situation is Enea.

Him and Enea they have a kind of arrangement, a strange one, made back in Moto3, strengthened in Moto2 when they were teammates. The agreement is simple, the two of them fuck, but since it's only between them and only after races it's not a gay thing to do, they're just guys releasing adrenaline.

And it's been fine for years now, none of them ever rethinking about it, wanting to change something in the dynamic.

Well. Ok no that's a lie. Diggia wants to, has been wanting to do it for a long time now. He wants to be able to stay after they finish fucking, wants to hold Enea close in his arms, kiss him gently, stroke his hair as he falls asleep, breathe in his perfume when they lay side by side.

And of course he never told him that, Enea wouldn't like it, he's sure of it, whenever Diggia tries to go for a kiss after Enea jerks away, if he's too gentle while they have sex Enea will do something to get him to be rough, Enea never stays, Enea never lets him stay.

But - now what if they do this and then he speaks up? Would he tell people? Would he tell the media?

He'll have to avoid him. At any cost he'll have to avoid him. Or it's gonna go to shit.

•••

The race is over, Bez finished just ahead of him, he feels the arm hurting, he'll need more painkillers now, and Enea, he won.

He smiles absentmindedly when he sees the result of the Sprint race, he's happy for him. He'd be happier if it was him instead of Martin on the second step of the podium alongside Enea but he's happy like this too.

Seeing Enea smile it's worth staying a bit more in front of the TV screen in the garage than he should.

He gets cleared of media, declared "unavailable" for non-specified reasons.

He rests in his motorhome, when there's a knock on the door, and he goes to open it, thinking it's Uccio.

But when he opens it a strong smell of champagne hits him, the bright smile of his friend blinding him.

"Can I come in?" "Yeah"

Dammit, he should've said no. But he can't lie.

"You showered already Fabio? Could've waited for me" "Wanted to" "Oh you wanted to?" "Yeah"

Fuckfuckfuck stop please stop asking me these questions shut up shut up

He is clearly about to ask why but Diggia offers him a can of monster, which Enea refuses, smiling once again.

Diggia can't help but look at him, his soft features, soft lips, soft hair, soft skin, all remind him of the warm sensation he feels every time they fuck, when Enea is riding him and he's trying to slow down the pace a bit just to enjoy it for longer, or when Enea has his back against the mattress and keeps chanting his name, and Diggia wishes he could kiss the sound coming out of his lips instead of biting at his collarbone with force

"Well that's a shame now, but I won no? Don't I deserve a little celebration?" "Yeah you do" "Choose, you can decide-" "Vojo succhiarte il cazzo" (I wanna suck your dick)

Which gets Enea a bit incredule, because Diggia never sucked his dick, if not once while drunk, so it doesn't count. Because Diggia always (if not once, drunk there too) topped, and had Enea suck his dick not the opposite.

"Ok nice, let's get to the bedroom then"

And Diggia doesn't know how to react, he really does want to suck him off, but also only did it once, what if he's not good at it? He's had girls being bad at blowjobs, it really kills your libido.

His thoughts are shut off when he sees Enea taking off his leathers completely, he's wearing the white undersuit that makes Diggia go absolutely crazy, il clings to every muscle of his upper body, especially his pecs and biceps, and Diggia can't help but stare at the scene, because Enea looks simply perfect.

He checked, the truth serum makes it impossible to lie in general, wether to other people or to the affected individual itself. So each and every thought he's having is real, true, undeniably his.

He takes off his shorts, because God forbid he wears a shirt when he's in his motorhome, and he's left in boxers, the bulge visible already, while Enea is just wearing boxers and his damn white undersuit.

He wants to bite his tongue, to shut up before causing damages, but he's not quick enough.

"Leave the undersuit on, it's hot" fuck stupid ass idiot you're a dickhead

"Didn't take you for that type of things but yeah, as you wish Fabio"

Enea sits on the edge of the bed, he's clearly hard already, grey boxers doing nothing to hide it. And Diggia would stand there staring, but the need to make him feel good is stronger, and he quickly gets on his knees, tugging down Enea's boxers, who bites his lip and gets a hand in Diggia's hair.

Enea is bigger than him, not by far, but he's still longer, so his first attempts at swallowing him don't go too far, but nonetheless he manages to get more than half of his cock in his mouth, moving with a rhythmic pace and humming when near the base.

"You should do this more often you know Fabio? I bet you'd be able to take me whole after a few tries, you're so good already"

He fucking moans at the praise, causing Enea to buck his hips and make him choke. He lets go of his cock to cough, then gets back to working Enea up, using his hand to cover the part he can't yet reach with his mouth. Enea feels even bigger, his throat clenching around him, and the older is fucking loving it

Once Diggia resumes his pace is really not long before Enea needs to cum, and since the other today seems pretty up to doing thing he usually does, he forces him to let go, tilting his head back.

"I'm gonna cum on your face ok? You like that fabio" "Yes yes please do it" "You're so fucking needy today, open your mouth"

Diggia complies, opening up and taking his tongue out, and three seconds later he can taste the bitter taste of cum on his tongue, drops falling on his lips and cheeks as well, as Enea throws his head back moaning.

Diggia swallows everything, licking his lips and before he can do it Enea collects all that's left with his thumb, then presents it to Diggia, that sucks it clean making Enea moan again.

Now Diggia is really fucking hard, he needs to fuck Enea right now.

"On. Get on the bed Fabio, no don't worry about the lube, I prepped myself before coming here, figured it'd be better, right?"

And Diggia would normally say yes, it's better like this, but this fucking truth serum doesn't let him lie. Not in the slightest.

"Could've done it myself, I like watching you when I open you up" "Ah really? Well next time I promise you will ok?" "Ok" "Now get on with hit and fuck me"

Diggia doesn't wait, immediately taking off his boxers, squirts some lube on it and strokes his dick a few times. He didn't lie, he can't, about the under suit, but when he fucks him he wants to be able to leave marks, bites, hickeys, bruises all over his torso, hand-shaped bruises on Enea's hips looking sinfully attractive.

"Take - the undersuit I wanna see you without it, please"

Enea has never seen this side of Diggia, he sounds almost pathetic. God it's hot. He doesn't answer, just gets naked completely, laying down on the bed as Diggia parts his legs to get comfortable between them. He hooks one leg over his shoulder and pushes his cock inside, it goes without resistance, and it already has him moaning.

"Come on" "Yeah yeah ok"

The pace he sets is rude and quick from the start, Enea sounding so angelic already, he wants to kiss him, god he wants to kiss him and never stop doing it, he wants to make him his in every way, mark not only his chest, that can be easily covered, but his neck too, so high it can't be hidden, but displayed for the world to see.

"Fuck Fabio there, again, there please god yes like that"

He hits his prostate, again and again and again, moaning in his ear and panting hot air on his neck, wishing he could just sink his teeth there, in the invitingly soft flesh.

"Enea you're so good fuck I can't - I dreamt of doing this last night" "Mh don't stop, tell me that again" "You feel perfect around me I swear, every time we fuck I want it to last longer, want to keep you here in my bed forever"

It's all Enea needs to cum, hard and fast all over the sheets, moaning Diggia's name and clenching around his cock.

One, two, three, four thrusts and Diggia is coming too, and he's too close to Enea's ear, too taken from the moment, too fucking earnest.

"I love you"

He doesn't even realize it until he's filling Enea up, what he said can't be taken back, he's coming inside him and just told Enea the three words he swore to himself he's never tell him.

Fuck nononono he's gonna leave he'sgonnaleavehe'sgonnahateme he's never gonna look at me in the eyes again

Diggia pulls out in fear, staining the sheets, Enea turns around, half shock half surprise written on his face.

"Sorry sorry Bestia fuck" "No Diggia wait you said-" "C'ho sta roba che devo di per forza a verità e che me sta a fa impazzire, non posso mentirte Enea, non ce riesco, io me so innamorato de te e non so che cazzo fa"

They're still naked and panting from their orgasms, Diggia not looking at Enea in the eyes, too scared and disgusted with himself. Not being able to lie to himself comes with accepting the fact he does like guys, a lot, maybe even more than girls. And it's scary.

"C'ho paura Enea, che mo so frocio e te me odi e non me vuoi più vedere perché te faccio schifo" "Diggia" "Don't hate me please, don't hate me" "Fabio, look at me"

He does, because he's basically being forced to do it. Enea taking his face between his hands and looking at him with - softness?

"Fabio are you serious about the truth thing? You are not lying?" "No, it's like a serum or some shit in one of my painkillers" "Ok. I trust you. Now, can you say that again?" "What again?" "Tell me the truth, how you feel about me" "I love you" "Again" "I love you"

Enea kisses him, and it's not one of their usual rushed and bruising kisses, it's gentle, caring, slow.

"You. Fabio you have no idea how fucking long I wanted to hear these words coming from you" "What do you mean? You were the one who said no staying over, or no kissing unless we're fucking, or no -" "I was scared you idiot. Scared you'd hate me"

Diggia wants to punch himself in the face right now.

"No no no Enea I could never hate you no, I love you, have loved you for a long time now, I want to be with you, properly, want to kiss you and hold you after we have sex, and stay over"

Enea smiles again, and to Diggia it's perfection again, perfection made human, hopefully made his.

"I'll stay then, as long as you want, I'm not going anywhere, I love you Fabio, I'm so glad that stupid serum got you to tell the truth" "Me too"

They kiss again, and it feels like two puzzle pieces fitting together after being apart in a box full of extra pieces, trying to find each other.

Put That Guy in a SituationTM Ask Game/Prompt!

[cool-cowboy]

Summary:

In which an android Leon reveals some features to his model you were not aware of beforehand, then gives you a prime example of how he's better than a human man. I have no idea where this came from, just popped into my head and I figured someone out there would enjoy, so yeah, enjoy!

Tags:

Android Leon S. Kennedy, Obsession, Dominant Leon S. Kennedy, Master/Servant, alternate universe, Dirty talk, grinding, overstimulation, forced orgasm, babbling, crying

Blurb:

“I just… Didn’t know you had… Those kind of features.”

“Sorry. You’ve never expressed feelings of lust before, only now your heart rate is picking up, perspiration levels above average... Would you like me to enable sexual interaction in the options menu?”

Text:

“Leon, I’m home!” I tuck my shoes into their little spot beside the door, shucking off my jacket and leaving it on its hook, wandering through and into the family room, spotting him, standing perfectly still along the wall, blue neon swirling around his eyes, the only tell I get when an update is underway, other than his lack of response. I decide to leave him be, walking off into the kitchen, getting my things ready to cook supper, the lighting brighter than I like it in the evening, my trusty android friend not awake to employ my usual light and ambience settings, the quiet a little disturbing when I’m so used to the light music he puts on when I arrive home.

I cook in relative silence, making a meal for one, missing the chatter of my robot companion, curious to hear about his update, why it’s taking so long. It’s not traditional, the purpose I have for owning a device like him, usually they’re nothing but a housekeeper, someone to take care of the home and complete menial tasks, but I don’t find that useful, just enjoy having someone around, a friend, something like that. I’ve never assigned him a task, but he craves it, gives himself objectives if I can’t, tries his hardest to cater to my needs even if I don’t speak them.

I sit down with my meal, eating in quiet, seated at my little island, his chair empty, the space a little cooler than I like it. I’m bored, never used to quiet anymore, not with my constant companion making sure to keep conversation flowing, his devotion to me seeming more real than it probably is, his care programmed into him, but there nonetheless. He’s been speaking about feelings lately, if he’s capable, something that would usually get him sent in for a reset, but I don’t mind, and I do think he’s capable, his mind is superhuman after all.

“There you are.” He’s human, on the outside, looks perfectly believable, could walk around with me and have no one suspect he isn’t a normal man, the only difference what’s on the inside, some mechanical shit I have no idea how to explain, and AI that lets him know what I’m thinking, his intelligence unmatched, his mind full of anything I could ever want to know.

“How was the update?” He takes his seat beside me, straight-backed, his formality with his mannerisms something that took me a while to get used to, his speech slowly morphing to mimic mine, a comfort thing programmed into all androids to give a sense of familiarity, comfort with something often viewed as subhuman. His eyes glow blue, ready to rattle off the specs he’s downloaded, his voice a little more robotic than usual, his script taking him over.

“Update 16.2b, major tweaks under the belt, more realistic orgasm simulation, bugs fixed regarding the timed orgasm system, facial expressions refined, new commands available, more realistic erection phases, see more online at Update dot my android dot net.” I sit there, mouth gaping, not sure at all what to say to all that, never even thought about using my friend in that way, was never told I could, if I did want to. “Is something wrong?” I set my fork down, pushing my plate back, my appetite gone, some unwarranted butterflies fluttering around in my stomach.

“I just… Didn’t know you had… Those kind of features.” He looks at me, eyes flashing blue, scanning my vitals, something that used to seriously creep me out, but doesn’t bother me much anymore, it’s habitual, a way for him to see how I’m feeling, get truths I’m not willing to give.

“Sorry. You’ve never expressed feelings of lust before, only now your heart rate is picking up, perspiration levels above average.” I don’t say anything, embarrassed he can tell so much about me, know my curious wants against my wishes. “Would you like me to enable sexual interaction in the options menu?” I can’t answer, too busy freaking out in my head, his blue eyes back to normal, still seeking information, always, gaze flitting over my face, small movements of my hands, his inspection leaving me on edge.

“So… You can feel pleasure?” I’m curious, though I’ve never wanted to use him, in any capacity, just wanted someone around, company, not a lover, especially not one who’s not in control of their own actions, autonomy not something he has much of, other than the settings I could turn off to let him have a little free reign, giving him permission to mill about while I’m gone, do as he pleases. He’s staring at me, head cocked, brows furrowed a little, his expression terribly human, inspecting me, trying his hardest to deduce my thoughts, his pointer finger drawing out calculations absently on the countertop as they run through his head.

“Not technically, pleasure is a chemical reaction, my form is just a simulation. I do feel it, the receptors go off when I complete a task. It’s new in update 14.6a, meant to be a better drive to please the owner. I assume you mean sexual pleasure, though. I can simulate it, up until orgasm, mostly realistic, other than the secretion part.” I have no idea why I’m just now hearing about this, most people would probably jump on the opportunity to have a partner so in tune with their body, literally able to do a scan and know what you need.

“Do you enjoy it, though? You want to?” He looks at me, my eyes, not doing any scanning, just looking at me, giving me a few seconds of quiet anticipation.

“You’re important to me, whether it’s programming or not, you’re attractive and a pleasant person, so I'd guess it would be enjoyable to please you in a more personal way, but I know you mean it differently… It’s not a craving I have, to satisfy myself, I mean, only to please you, in any way you see fit.” I swallow, his eyes flitting down, gazing at my hands, fisted and pressed to my thighs. It’s a moral dilemma, using something so intelligent for my own gain, but I suppose it can’t be too terrible, he’d get the equivalent of an orgasm, plus whatever pleased feeling he gets from making me happy. “You seem interested. I will turn on sexual activity permissions in the options menu.” Damn his autonomy, I may have went too far, allowing him access to his own options, his eyes glowing blue as he sinks into his own brain, flipping on whatever part of him has been dormant all this time before returning to me, his expression normal, no different than my usual Leon, casual, doting.

“You did it?” He nods, scanning me, not at all put off by my nervousness, looking at me again, a little more intense than usual, trying to figure me out.

“How was work?” I wonder if I have to initiate it, ask him for it. It would be preferable, though I don’t think I’ll ever use this hidden feature if he doesn’t just jump me, but that doesn’t seem fitting, he’s too soft spoken, reserved.

“Good, I got a new account today, diamonds, the commission is gonna be insane.” He seems pleased, a little whirring sound similar to a hum rumbling in his chest as he stands, moving to take care of my dish, no prompt necessary. I used to feel bad about it, but he really doesn’t mind, lives to care, I guess.

“That’s great. I sent over the files you asked for, they’re under 6.24.5 in the main folder.” I nod, glad he could locate them, my own search not going very well, the information integral to a company I’ve been assigned. He sets the dishes out once he’s done washing, set neatly in their little drying rack, his body moving swiftly back around the counter, his hand ghosting across the back of my shoulders making me flinch, not used to any casual touches between us, the only contact he really ever initiates is caring for any wounds he detects, little cuts, things like that. “You’re aroused, would you like me to-”

“You don’t have to.” My cheeks are flaming, thighs tight together, embarrassment hot on my skin, the light aroused feeling flaring now that he’s brought attention to it. He steps beside me, turning my chair around to face him, slotting himself between my knees, a light touch on my jaw drawing my eyes up, light blue trained on me, his forwardness dizzying, unexpected when I’m so used to his usual self.

“You’re uncomfortable, I can release that tension.” He runs his hand down my neck, smoothing over my shoulder, his touch light, my small shiver prompting him to squeeze a little, the warmth of his skin unexpected, even if I did know it was there, another human feature to make him more real. “You don’t need to worry about if I’d like to. I do, you know I live to please you.” That gets me, his voice lower than usual, a rough, sensual quality to it, his willingness not unexpected, but still shocking. He has a hand on my knee, inching up, almost too slow to notice, his other sliding back up my neck to keep my eyes on him, eye contact something he's always been a fan of, picked it up from conversations and my own mannerisms, is now using it to ruin me, make me nervous.

“I don’t know…” It’s weird, to proposition him in this way, even if it isn’t my idea, allowing it is still on me, my commands headed without any pushback, unless my decision is stupid, then he tells me all the reasons I’m wrong. He hums, sliding his hand back into my hair, his palm a little rough, his eyes peering down at me, a little lower than normal, all of him drawing me in, his actions and words and expression undeniably sexy, which makes sense, considering he has the entire internet and more at his disposal.

“I have to admit, I am curious. It’s my nature, I guess, but I wanna try it, feel the way humans do, engage in something so sought after.” He’s very convincing, convincing enough for me to refrain from stopping him when he starts to lean down, thumb pressing under my jaw to tilt my head up, hand on my lower thigh squeezing. He takes his time, watching my reaction, leaning in slow, his chest heaving with even breaths, his lips parted, close to mine. “Grant me sexual autonomy.” He’s never asked, never expected any of his autonomy settings, other than this one, I guess, not that I mind, I’d prefer he had it, didn’t do anything out of his control, revert into his more robotic self to fulfill my wishes.

“Turn on sexual autonomy in the options menu.” His eyes flash blue, his body going rigid, only for a moment, before he’s back, looking at me, seeming eager, searching my eyes for any sign of disapproval, finding none. He runs his hand further up my leg, eyes cast down to the contact, his lips parted, almost awed.

“Your skin is… Soft. Feels fuzzy, you’re so warm…” His processes are going haywire, I can see it on his face, his mind racing to keep up with what he’s doing, digging through all the information he has to do a good job. “I’ve never felt like this before, this kind of pleasure is different, like it’s for me.” He’s not meant to have feelings, of any kind, but he does, in his own way, lets his mood depend on his helpfulness, even if I’ve urged and convinced him to see himself as his own being, he’s not wired that way.

“It is… I don’t- uh, It’s about you too, okay?” He hums, the low whir in his chest making me smile, one of the few things that reminds me he’s a machine. He moves, tentative, his hand slipping further up my thigh, fingers holding onto my hair, pulling gently when his lips meet mine, plush and smooth, his kiss gentle, unsure, none of the information he has able to tell him the best way to go about this. I move against him, setting a little faster of a pace, letting my hand slide up his stomach, his shaky exhale breathed against my lips.

“Tell me what you like.” He presses his forehead to mine, looking at me, lips and cheeks flushed, his hand hot on my thigh. He can’t take it, not being fully prepared for everything, having to figure things out as they come, his algorithmic brain not able to work through something he has no expertise on. “Don’t just look at me, tell me what you want me to be.” His brows are drawing together, analyzing, trying to figure it out before I even reply.

“What do you wanna be?” He has a personality, one to suit mine, of course, but he never asked for it, developed it, like a child growing up. I don’t want him to play a role, he must have some sort of instinct on how to act, how to be without me commanding him.

“I don’t know.” He’s never not known, he’s a genius, of course, knows everything there is to know, figures out anything he doesn’t. He looks pained, searching my eyes for an answer I can’t give, his hand tracing his equations into my skin. “All I know is I want you… I wanna see you fall apart, make you feel good, be the best lover you could ask for.” I kiss him, bringing my arms up around his neck, drawing him closer between my legs, his pleased hum making me smile, a good reaction from him, real, not asked for, just genuine feeling. His hand slips further up my leg, up to squeeze gently over my hip, feeling me, not looking to please, just letting himself do what he wants, exploring one of the few things he doesn’t know much about, his own form of pleasure. He follows my lead, moving plush lips against mine, the feeling insanely real, the heat of him a little higher than usual, his body heating up in response to my touch, my hands dug into soft locs of hair, pulling gently to separate his lips from mine, his mouth pressing to mine in one last, feverish kiss before he pulls back, eyes wide, wild with untapped pleasure.

“Is this okay?” He nods, swallowing, his lips parting to draw in heavy breaths, his hand sliding up my side, hot over my shirt, his warmth making me both soft and want to squirm.

“Yes, feels good. This is… I never imagined I could feel like this. It’s you, I’m not supposed to feel desire, this isn’t in my programming… Don’t reset me, I’ll be good, swear. I won’t deviate, I just… This is not in the script…” He seems stumped, frustrated at his lack of understanding what’s going on inside him, but I suppose he isn’t meant to have this much freedom, live like a normal person, other than the fact he has no need for a job, and is a machine.

“Leon? It’s okay to feel, okay? You’re not a toaster, yeah?” He laughs, low and rough, shaking his head, some of the robotic tension leeching from him. “Stop thinking so much.” He nods, eyes flashing blue, returning to normal when he blinks it away. “Sorry.” I didn’t mean to command him, but he doesn’t mind, it happens all the time, and he’s happy to oblige, anyways.

“It’s okay… Should we… Continue?” I gulp, and he leans back in, kissing me the way I like, learning quickly, as always, his big hand sliding up my back, fingers teasing at the hem of my shirt before slipping up my spine, my back arching at the gentle touch, his little pleased noise vibrating against my lips. The chair isn’t very comfortable, and my neck is straining from him standing over me, and he knows it, parting his lips from mine and tilting my jaw back down, forcing me to look up at him through my lashes, his expression sinful, eyes low, lips lightly parted, all of him hot, his skin warmer than mine. “You’re uncomfortable.” I nod, not very happy he paused to say that, but glad he cares enough to not leave me in discomfort. “I’ll take you to your room.” He pulls me up out of my chair by my ass, letting my legs drape over his hips, a sizable erection between us, one of his arms holding me up, the other holding my head still as he dips down, kissing at my neck, slow and sweet, his lips spit-slick. He’s walking, letting himself move through the space without looking, letting out a pleased rumble when I exhale a shaky breath.

“Leon, you don’t have to be so gentle…” He groans, the sound low and guttural, his lips pressing a little more feverishly to my skin, his hand squeezing my ass, the other slipping up the back of my shirt, smoothing up my skin, ticklish, making me arch into him, my chest pressed to his, his happy sigh hot on my skin. He leans me back, supporting my weight until I’m laid out on my bed, him on his knees between my legs, scanning, eyes flashing bright before he closes them, ignoring his instinct to run his hands up my thighs, peering down at my face, pushing up on the hem of my shirt, exposing my stomach, his lips coming down to skim up my thigh, one hand on the outside of my knee, holding it still, his lips warm and wet as he trails them up, his eyes on mine, his free hand finding my hip, pressing me into the mattress as he makes his way to my stomach, kissing across the waist of my pants, up toward my belly button, watching me, holding me still with gentle, nonaggressive pressure.

“I need you to tell me… Wanna be good for you… Feels good to make you feel good. I can’t figure it all out, you told me not to think…” He’s a little out of it, not nearly as composed as usual, eyes hazy, movements a little less practiced, but still confident, what information he does have allowing him to not be too unsure of himself. I push him, frowning at his questioning look, forgetting he’s a mostly immovable object.

“Get off.” He pulls back, sitting back on his heels, looking at me with wide eyes, flashing blue, then normal, none of the lust that was there a second ago visible, either put on pause or diminished due to my command.

“Sorry. I’m trying, I just don’t know-”

“Get on your back.” He does, drops down beside me, laid out flat, looking a little silly, considering I’ve never seen him in a bed, he usually sleeps standing, just shuts down for the night, doesn’t need any comfort. I turn over, taking a turn sitting up over him, one knee slotted between his legs, watching him, liking how unsure he looks, something I’ve never seen from him, one thing that separates him from a human. “You still want this?” I feel like I’m coercing him, even if I’m not, his mind far more developed than mine, if anything. I let my fingers trail up his thigh, his jeans rough on my fingers, his faux muscles tensing under my light touch.

“Yes. I’ve never wanted anything, besides this. It’s… Exhilarating, you’re so pretty above me.” My mouth pops open, not at all expecting his compliment, or his hand on my hip, pressing me down over his clothed leg, putting pressure on my clit, the action so forward I nearly gasp.

“Didn’t know dirty talk was part of the programming…” I watch my fingers, pushing up on the bottom of his tee, ghosting my fingers up the skin of his stomach, his abs tight and hot under my touch, his body reacting so intensely, wound up from such a simple touch.

“It’s not. You asked me to be honest.” I did, months ago, when he lied, about nothing important, but still, I see no need for it, at least from him. I nod, wetting my lips and leaning down, pressing them lightly just below his belly button, watching his face, expression back to the hazy, needy one he was giving me a few minutes ago. “Can I..?” He uses his grip on my hip to grind me against his thigh, pushing it up a little further between my legs, offering delicious pressure, the roughness of fabric between us a little shocking.

“Yeah. Do what you want.” He’s sat up on one elbow, watching me, kissing down, skimming my lips along toward his hip, my hand gripped to the waist of his pants, slipping down, fingertips gliding over his erection making him flinch, the low whirring coming back, rumbling through his chest for a few seconds, his hand gently rocking me against him. “Feel good?” He clenches his jaw, looking worried, brows drawn low and together, his eyes barely open, cloudy with lust.

“Yes, too good, I’m overheating, you feel so good, you’re hands are-” He cuts himself off with a choked noise, eyes squeezed closed and his head tipped back, my hand palming him over his pants, offering a little relief in whatever form of pleasure he gets, a strong one, judging by his reaction.

“Sensitive, huh?” He drags my hips a little rougher, eliciting a small, groaned out noise from me, seeming pleased with himself when I open my eyes, his lips pulled up in a little smile, eyes cast down at his leg between my thighs.

“You can turn down sensitivity in the options menu, would you like me to-”

“No. Don’t change anything, stay just like this…” I press my hand more firmly to him, grinding my palm into him, his hips shifting below me making me smile, his breathing a little erratic. His leg is trembling, only the one between my legs, vibrating almost, making me let out a shaky breath. “Wha- Are you-?” He huffs out a laugh, nodding, slamming his head back into the pillow when I grind my hand into him, rough, gripping him through his pants and jerking it, squeezing him, his low groan heavenly.

“Update 12.6a- I have lots of perks. No human can-ah- match up.” He punctuates his words by turning up the vibration, my body slumping, back hunched a little from how harsh it is, before he turns it back down, a little more gentle, other than how roughly hes grinding me against his thigh. “Let me take these off.” He pulls on the waist of my pants, deft fingers moving to unbutton them, undoing the zipper, his free hand coming down to ease them over my hips, his upper body sitting up, and arm around my waist pulling me up enough to get them down my legs, my feet kicking until they tumble to the floor. He takes it in, me sitting in front of him, his hands sliding up my thighs, thumbs teasing under the sides of my panties before continuing up. “You’re gorgeous… I’m so lucky, having a master as good as you.” I clench my thighs around him, gazing up into his eyes, loving the way he’s looking at me, like I’m the only thing on earth, at least the only one that matters. He’s pushing up on my shirt, looking into my eyes as he eases it up, pausing until I lift my arms, giving him permission, letting him pull it up and over my head, his eyes dipping down as he tosses it away, his hands sliding up my sides.

“Don’t you think you should take something off?” He doesn’t reply, just drags my leg up over his hip, straddling me over him, his lips skimming my collar bone, his breathing quick, hands sliding around to drag down my back, resting just above my ass, grinding me into him, his low groan hot on my skin. “C’mon, let me take this off.” I pull on his shirt, and he relents, pulling back and doing it for me, going back to what he was doing, kissing his way down from my collar bone, sucking gently on the skin above my bra, taking my low sigh as my assent, sucking the skin into his mouth and using an arm around my waist to hold me firmly against him, his hand still on my hip working me into his erection, which seems to be getting bigger, slotted nicer against me, giving me intense friction, his jeans rough against my panties.

“Feels so good… You’re so good… Your heart rate is higher than I’ve ever recorded, your body is responding so nicely. Love making you feel good.” He moans, for real, the sound nothing like the whirring hum of his groans, more human, wanton and needy, enjoying himself. “So pretty… Is there anything I can do better?” He’s a little breathless, turning us over and easing me down onto my back, looming over me, one hand rested beside my head, the other gripped to the outside of my thigh, keeping it hooked over his hip. “Is there?” I forgot to respond, too busy staring at him above me, looking so big, strong, his strength never something I thought about before, other than that he was stronger than me.

“Just… Enjoy yourself.” His muscles relax, his expression soft, none of the usual intensity behind his eyes, his elbow bending to bring his lips to mine, his body heating further, not used to all this excitement, his body humming with quiet energy. He’s grinding into me, hips sliding perfectly against me, the drag along my clit drawing a low moan out of me. “Le- Take these off.” I’m pulling at his pants, working the button until he takes over, clumsily shoving his pants down his legs, letting his head tuck down into my neck to free up his other hand, kicking his pants off and onto the floor.

“You take this off.” He sits up on his elbow, nosing and kissing at the side of my throat, pulling on my bra. I laugh, his pleased whirring tickling me, his hand running down my stomach.

“You do it, bossy.” He groans, pressing his hand back behind me, unclipping it much easier than I thought he would, not bothering to sit up to pull it down my arms, his mouth running down from my throat, mouth closing over a nipple, tongue lathing over it, his eyes peering up at me, his eyes low and pleased. He moans, vibrating against me, sucking where his lips are latched to my skin, his hand running up my thigh to press his thumb to my clit, surprising me, his lips pulling from my skin when I flinch, eyes on mine as he kisses his way to the opposite side, rubbing gently up and down over my panties.

“Feels good? I hope so… Let’s get these off.” He sits up, gripping onto the sides of my panties, staring at me as he pulls them down, tossing them off to the side and settling back down over me, nosing my head to the side to mouth at my throat, pressing his lips to my pulse, bringing his thumb back to my clit, rubbing soft circles. “Mmh, there we go, I’ll take good care of you, make you feel so good you’ll never need anyone else. You’re doing so good, looking so perfect and letting me please you…” He kisses his way back up, pressing his lips to mine, wet and open-mouthed, not messy, but needy, rushed, his thumb moving a little quicker against me, giving a little more pressure, my legs starting to shake. “There you go, you’re nearly there, oxytocin levels are skyrocketing, go ahead, want you to finish, let me see how pretty you are when you really feel it.” I moan, squirming against him, my orgasm coming, his face pulling a little further back to look at me, smiling, his expression a mix of lusty and pleased. “C’mon, give it to me, want you to feel good, finish from my fingers-” He doesn’t mind my nails digging into my arms, just works me through it, thumb light on my clit, his eyes on mine, watching me squirm and tilt my head back, the sensation becoming too much, his thumb pulling away the second it does.

“Shit, let me have a turn.” I shove at him, huffing a laugh when he feigns being pushed over, laid out on his back in his underwear, waiting on me to give him direction. I run my hand up his leg, gripping the band of his underwear and pulling down, getting them off and getting rid of them before kissing my way up his thigh, looking at him, the anticipation getting to him, his lips parted, brows pulled down and together.

“I don’t need this.” It would leave a bruise on my ego, if I didn’t know he’s just being honest, not that I care if he needs it, only if he wants it. “I don’t want to waste your time, I don’t require any type of foreplay.” I frown, kissing his base, peering at him over his dick, which is hanging heavy over his stomach.

“Can you get off like this?” I wrap my hand around him, smiling when he flinches, his dick twitching in my hand. I work it over him, keeping it slow, waiting on his reply, his eyes hazy with swirls of blue, systems crashing briefly before he’s back, letting out a light moan, carding a hand through my hair.

“No, I- The orgasm simulation can only progress if I’m inside, and you’re finishing too.” I hum, stroking a little rougher, tilting my head at him when he groans, his hips shifting, the pleasure a little too much, his expression almost fearful.

“It feels good, though?” He nods, head leaning back and eyes closed, letting me do what I want, enjoying himself, just like I asked. “Good.” I wait until he’s opened his eyes back up to lick from base to tip, closing my mouth around him and sinking down, his heady moan mouthwatering, really, drool coating his dick when I pull back up, watching him, his eyes hazy, his hand pulling at my hair when I suck him in again, bobbing up and down.

“Nnh- hey, do you want me to- I can-” He presses his knee up between my legs, rubbing it against me, making me moan around his dick. “There… Perfect…” He sounds pleased, whatever tension was plaguing him loosening now that he sees himself as being of use, rubbing his knee against my clit, offering some relief from the arousal he’s sparked inside with this new, needier self. “Do you wanna finish like this? I understand the usual progression would have me inside by now-”

“Shit, okay. Let’s get to it, then, if you don’t wanna take your time.” I sit up over him, looking at him, shuffling my way up until I’m hovering over his lap, his eyes on me as he sits up, his hands on my waist, his chest heaving.

“You’re ready?” I nod, waiting patiently as he reaches down, eyes hazy, aligning himself and pulling me slowly down onto him by my waist, the stretch less than painful, more than comfortable, not quite as snug as he could be. I’m a little above his face when he bottoms out, eyes swirling with blue for a few seconds before he blinks it away, shaking the heaviness out of his head, looking up at me and coming closer, holding me against him, keeping me seated on his dick as he kisses me, sloppier, messy and needy, my arms wrapped around his neck, his dick twitching and filling me a little fuller, the odd sensation making me pull back to give him a questioning look. “A perfect fit.” He doesn’t seem bothered, so I let the disturbed feeling settle, attempting to pull up off him, but big hands hold me still, keeping himself seated fully inside, melded to the walls, truly a perfect fit. “Let me stay like this, just for a minute… I like this, being impossibly close, feeling you in a way not many people get to…” He goes back to kissing, running his hands down to grip my hips, lifting me slowly up, letting me drop back down over him, his low groan breathed against my lips.

“Can I-”

“Let me do it.” I sigh, relenting, his hands lifting me up and sliding me back down, slow, keeping eye contact, pleased I’m giving him the choice, considering how easy it is to get him to do whatever I want. He keeps the slow pace, staring at my face, seeming pleased, his expression a mix of pleasure and calculativeness, trying to figure out the best way to finish me off, I suppose. “I’ll speed up soon, build-up is important, I don’t wanna deny you what you deserve, wanna be good…” He’s moving too slow, giving enough to fill me up, but not to do much else.

“I already came, Leon, build-up is irrelevant.” He nods, furrowing his brows and speeding up, keeping his grip firm, not letting me bounce, but bouncing me, keeping his eyes on mine, a low moan passing his lips when I clench around him, his pace quickening a little more, slaps of skin to skin sounding in my room adding a layer of intensity, his thumb pressing back to my clit prompting me to let my head lean back, a low, drawn out moan escaping him at the sight.

“You feel so nice inside, so warm, squeezed tight around me… God, this is the best I’ve ever felt, you feel good too, oxytocin is increasing-nnh- how many more times can you finish? Three? I’ll give you three more, wanna see you near tears, all from how good it feels.” He’s feverish, losing his usual stoicness, speaking rushed and breathless, his chest heaving, his hand working me over him, squeezing the fat of my ass, angling his hips further up, the drag along my insides unexpected, making me moan and drop my forehead to his shoulder, sweaty, searing hot on my skin. I’m shaking, letting him work me over him, letting out pleasured noises along with him, his face now tucked into the crook of my neck. “You’re getting worked up quick… I won’t even need the vibration, you’re almost ready, so tight, making such pretty sounds for me…” He holds me up, pausing, leaning back on one hand and dragging my upper body along with him, thrusting up into me, much quicker than he could’ve worked me over him, making me whine into his neck, spit slicking his skin, his hips slamming up into me, hands slipping up to my back to hold me in place so he can fuck into me, his voice getting higher, whinier. “There, now-ah, this is one out of three, so- so you still have two more after this, need you to finish, wet my dick some more, you’re shaking so nice, good thing I’m strong enough to hold you still…” I’ve never heard him curse before, I guess he’s doing his homework on dirty talk mid deed, his background processes doing him well, his words before now not all that enticing with his usual wording.

“Did you-

“Yes, wanted to be good, am I? Shit, tell me I’m good, wanna be good for you, make you feel so good you can’t think. You’re all I think about, you know that? You’re everything to me, I need to please you, make you cum all over my dick a few times before I’m finished.” I moan, shaking embarrassingly violently, nearly there, his dick filling me a little fuller, thrusts a little more needy, rutting up into me, making me whine into his shoulder, orgasm approaching, his nonstop thrusts working me up. “That’s it, gonna make you feel good, please you, have you soaking me, out of it from how good it feels, cumming on me over and fucking over.” My orgasm is shocking, the second I clamp down on him he presses me back down, holding me as I squirm and moan into his neck, grinding into me, stretching it out, pulling out of me once I still, guiding me to lay on my stomach, my body slumping down, ready for rest, until I feel hands pulling up on my hips, lifting me up to rest on my knees, chest and side of my face still pressed to the sheets.

“What are you..?” He presses inside, keeping it slow, aware I’m still coming down from my orgasm, his hands gently rocking me against him.

“This position is good for deep penetration, and I figured your legs were getting tired.” He speaks plainly, like he isn’t on his way to giving me my third orgasm in a couple minutes, his hips speeding up a little once he’s sure I can take it, his hands squeezing on my hips, rough and warm and big. “I’ll know when you’re satisfied, I’ll initiate the orgasm simulation when you’re ready.” He speaks matter of factly, and it would be funny, if he wasn’t fucking me into my mattress, low moans escaping me, my mind swimming, fuzzy and mushy, his hips noisy against me, his upper body folding over me, an arm around my waist pulling me into hars thrusts, his noises muffled into my shoulder blade, his lips kissing and sucking wherever he can reach. “Feels good? Well, I know it-shit- It does. Just- If there’s another-ah- something you prefer…” I let out a noise I hope sounds negative, succumbing to the numb, hazy pleasure, taking what he gives, his noises going higher, near the end of the line, if he could cum without having to initiate it, that is. “So- pretty-! You feel so good, pulling me in, letting me give you all you can-hah- take…” I’m nearly there, my third orgasm coming, the pleasure turning nearly painful, good in an awful, striking way, my legs trembling harshly, his fingers sneaking down to rub at my clit, his moan loud against me when I clench, muscles going tight, so close, my orgasm almost refusing to come. “Come on, quit holding yourself back, you can do it, you’ve had plenty of time. You’ve got it, you’re right there, just squeeze this sweet pussy on me, let me feel it, yeah, there you go, that’s it, fucking whining for it, you sound so damn good…” He fucks me through it, again, keeps his hold around my waist when I try to escape, the sensations too much, my low groan finally getting him to pull out, turning me over and giving me a break by capturing my lips, kissing me feverishly, pressing his knees up under my hips and leaning over me, his dick brushing agoinst me drawing a low whine out of me.

“No more, Leon, no more… I’m finished…” He pulls back, looking me over, eyes flashing blue, his look pensive.

“No you’re not.” He pushes inside, my low groan ignored, his eyes on me, watching me. “You think you can’t- handle more, but you can, can take this one and another, I’ll keep you cumming until you really can’t take it.” He doesn’t thrust, lets me finish coming down, kissing me and keeping a finger against my pulse, waiting for it to slow down before moving, both of us moaning at the drag of him inside.

“Just this one… I don’t want another.” I couldn’t take it, honestly, I’m already entirely fucked out, nearly unresponsive as he rocks inside, grinding up on his way out, my overstimulated nerves making me moan, painful pleasure still somehow enjoyable, even if I am trying to convince him I’ve had enough.

“No, you can take it. I know what you need, know you better than you know yourself.” He does, in a way, knows about my inner workings and psychology and the like, but I know this is killing me, tears in my eyes, his body too big and immovable for me to stop him from taking care of me, forcing me to finish the amount of times he sees fit. “Gonna make sure you’re satisfied, show you how good I am, how good I can be for you…” I’m shaking already, way too worked up, orgasms fading into a hazy pleasure, everything a blanket of hot and muggy sweetness, his lips meeting mine making me moan, his hips working into me, another orgasm well on its way with his relentless actions. “This one then another, okay? You can take it.” I pull him back, looking into his eyes, trying to focus, tears blurring my vision, my eyes half closed from how good it feels, how intense and terrifyingly good this is.

“Leon, begin-shit- begin orgasm simulation-!” He groans, head tucking down to my neck, his hips working more purposefully, all of him hot against me, a thumb working at my clit making me jerk, squirming away, but he keeps me still, working us both up, his noisiness gaining volume, making me almost worried the neighbors will hear.

“That’s- I wasn’t done, sneaky-ah- girl. Fuck, feels so good, love making you feel good, being good for my-nnh- Master-!” I moan, usually adverse to the title, but my hazy brain loves it, too full of him to really mind, letting him send me toward my final orgasm, if only to chase his, though that’s not the case, considering I have to get off for him to. “Shit, please, can’t-ah- Take anymore-! I’m fuckin’ overloading, you feel too good, squeezing me so tight, hot and wet and-Nnh-! Please, give it to me, let me please you one more time, it hurts, need you to cum, trap me inside and-” He whines, burying his face in my neck and fucking me through it, twitching inside the second I squeeze around him, his whiny moan drawing a pleased noise out of me as he slows, pulling out after a few more seconds, not moving to force anymore out of me, just kissing lightly up the side of my neck, easing himself up onto a hand to look at me, eyes flashing blue.

“Are you scanning for your performance right now?” He smiles, almost coy, pressing his hand to my skin, taking my vitals, not even trying to be subtle.

“Course. I meant it when I said I live to please.”

[versegm]

What is Fate/Stay Night?

Fate/Stay Night is a visual novel that came out in 2004. It features three routes: Fate, Unlimited Blade Works, and Heaven's Feel. It is also the first installment of the Fate serie.

If you are familiar with that serie (and if you follow me I think I can safely bet you do,) it's the one game all the other games keep referencing.

If you are not familiar with that serie, it's the game this blonde anime chick you can see everywhere since 2005 is from.

Oooh nifty. What's it about?

The story follows SHIROU EMIYA, a perfectly ordinary teenager with small magic abilities, as he gets dragged in a mage battle royale where the winner gets to fulfill one of their wish. During that battle royale, mages are aided by Heroic Spirits, aka historical and/or mythological figures as summons to fight. As you can imagine, the question of what makes a hero? is a major one in the story, along with What makes a villain? What makes a victim? How does one uphold their ideals?

Cool. Should I play it?

Well that depends on what you're looking for in a story, but if you enjoy strong thematic writing, balls to the wall concepts, and commitment to any worldbuilding implications (be they really silly or deeply horrifying) then yeah you should def go for it! Also, as a visual novel, it is extremely well-made and it fucks with the medium in ways I have rarely seen before.

I'm already familiar with other Fate games and I know the tl;dr of the plot. Do I really need to play it?

Yeah you should!! As I said in the intro, every Fate entry out there references fsn in some way, be in directly by making references to plot elements, or indirectly by echoing and building on its themes. Trust me no amount of knowing what would happen could have prepared me from actually reading it.

Isn't it a porn game?

The original is an eroge, yes, so it did contain sex scenes. The remake, Fate/Stay Night: Realta Nua, replaced the sex scenes with sfw ones. I can give you my personal opinion on which version of these scenes is best if you need me but really it's up to you as to which one you'd rather read.

I tried playing the game a while back but I thought the protag was a cunt.

Yeah I getcha the first route is a bit clumsy by today's standards and it's easy to read the protagonist as a bitchy chauvinist at first. Still he gets better (and in fact never acts even remotely like that in the other routes) so I would ask you to grind your teeth and keep going.

"The first route"? Is there an order to the routes?

There is! In the original game you had to go Fate route -> UBW route -> HF route. Iirc you can play them in any order in the remake, but I strongly advise you to play these routes in this order regardless, because they were very much built with the assumption that this is the way you'd experience things. (A very basic exemple is that the Fate route has a lot more explanations on the worldbuilding and the rules of the battle royales, while the other routes assume you already know this shit and ellipses it up.)

Ohhh. Ok I'm kinda interested. Where can I play it?

Well funny story! This game is like, the ONE fate game that never got any official release in the West whatsoever! So you're gonna have to go with fantranslations. You can play the sfw remake over here, or you can download the og eroge over there.

I'm gonna be real with you bestie I am not committing to a 70 hours-long vn when I don't even know if I'll like it.

Understandable! Perhaps you'd be interested in the anime adaptation of one of the routes then? I'm told the Unlimited Blade Works anime is a good introduction to the Fate serie, its vibes, and therefore whether it might be your thing or not. That being said disclaimer that I have not watched it (<- not an anime watcher) so I can't personally back it up.

Hey why are there like twenty versions of that blonde anime chick

That would require me to make a separate 2k long post king.

Anyways.

[alpineshift]

Number 6, Jack and Nico as members of an interdepartmental team (be it paranormal or otherwise)

buzzfeed unsolved/ghost files au perhaps?? hear me out for a moment... 👻

6. “I appreciate the effort but this is all wrong.” 

There's a lot more administrative work that goes into ghost hunting than most people realize.

That's to say, about eighty percent of their work is mainly administrative clutter, five percent is actual ghost hunting, and the other fifteen is sitting around in the cold and the dark for hours on end wishing for a cup of hot coffee or an extra blanket.

It's a testament to how great Nico is as an admin team lead that everything goes to shit the second he calls out sick for the day. And oh, they're a hot mess.

Nico "Workaholic" Hischier actually tapping out to recover is about as rare as a Bigfoot sighting. They'd probably have more luck getting a clear FBA on camera. Or Nessie swimming up to say hi.

Jack's a seasoned pro when it comes to ghost hunting and when he's got a camera pointed in his face, but he sure as fuck doesn't know how to use formulas in an excel spreadsheet (what the fuck is a =SUMIF even supposed to mean.)

Still. Jack won't let that deter him for his next goal: surprising Nico by helping him clear out the admin stuff for their next leg of the ghost hunting tour in (checks his smudged, hastily copied notes) Australia. Damn.

It's a good thing Nico labels all his files. Jack sometimes just leaves the transfers from his handheld in his download folders until Jesper yells at him for not labeling footage again.

There's absolutely no ulterior motives for him taking this task on, no, not at all. Jack's definitely not trying to impress Nico with his deep understanding of expense tracking sheets (zero), or his organizational skills (abysmal), and his ability to cut the per diem cheques (he fucked up and had to void so many cheques Jonas shoved him out the door and told him to look up hotels and flights instead.)

It's the thought that counts, right?? Nico takes care of them so often, it's only right that Jack tries to help out. Sure, he's already texted Nico twice this morning to check in, then ordered him a surprise delivery of chicken noodle soup and immune-boosting smoothies, and then sent some get well soon flowers too because his mom once told him flowers are always a sweet gift. But this is practical. And Nico is nothing if not a practical dude.

Jack doesn't manage to make the excel file look good, but at least he's got colour coded columns and he's managed to find a few good deals through their frequent flyer points. Something's bound to be useful.

And so, Nico returns the next day, not 100% yet but clearly over whatever twenty-four hour bug he's got going on. He's bundled up in a sweater and he's sipping a herbal tea, voice a little scratchy but his sincerity evident when he thanks Jack for the care goodies.

"Really, you shouldn't have, I would've been fine sleeping it off--"

"Neeks, babes, just shut up and let me look after you, yeah?"

(Nico's face had gotten really red at that, and Jack was worried his fever was back before Nico's cheeks returned to their normal colour.)

He'd been hopeful when he eventually forwarded Nico the link to his spreadsheet, stuttering through his explanation of the flight options he's gathered, rental cars, and hotels that are close to the airport. He's even made a list of late-night restaurants, because everyone's starved for greasy takeout after a long overnight shoot. Nico is staring, wide-eyed, at the file when Jack's finally done explaining. And he's quiet for a long, long pause.

"I. Jack. Thank you, this is--so incredibly kind of you. I really appreciate the effort, but this is all wrong."

The words would've been utterly devastating if Jack didn't see Nico's enormous, genuine smile, clearly holding back a laugh but not because he's making fun of Jack. Instead, he gestures for Jack to pull up a chair, making room for him behind the desk, and leans over to show Jack the itinerary saved in his perfectly organized OneDrive. (Jack tries very, very hard not to shiver at their close proximity, and the comforting scent of Nico's shampoo in such close quarters.)

"Our next shoot is in Austria, not Australia."

"Oh, for FUCK'S sake--"

send me a jacknico prompt!

[toomanysurveys9]

Long time, no post.

What did you have for dinner tonight?

Pizza. Jacob went to talk to the Papa John's owner(?) by us to see if he could start sooner.

If you were given a million dollars, what would you spend it on?

Definitely pay off all the debt. Buy a new house for Jake, our kiddos, and I. Buy a house for my parents, so we didn't have to keep living together. Fix our car. Buy Jake a truck. And savings for each of the kiddos.

Have you ever cried in front of your parents over a boyfriend or girlfriend?

I'm sure.

What does your bedroom smell like right now?

Not great - I need to clean it. Pretty sure Nora left a milk cup in there but I can't find it.

Have you ever shaved off your eyebrow before?

I have not.

Do you want to have a boy or girl whenever you have kids?

I have four kids. We have one boy and three girls.

Your pregnant with twins: What do you name them?

I have no idea. I don't want to have anymore kids. Four is more than enough.

Describe your outfit.

Maternity leggings that are now too big and one of Jake's work shirts.

What gigabyte is your memory card?

Don't have one.

What brand is your digital camera?

I just use my phone so I told the camera I did have because we needed the money more.

When was the last time you hung out with your best friend?

A couple weeks ago. Had a baby shower for one of them.

What is a movie you're waiting to see?

I honestly don't even know what's out right now.

Who was the last person to cook something for you?

Whoever made the pizzas from Papa John's.

Do you ever sit and think what if about something?

All the time. It's terrible.

If so, what is it?

So many things. It'd take too long to list but most are bad.

What’s on tv right now?

Jake's playing Rocket League on PS4. I'm waiting until my grandma is allowed to take her meds after I helped my youngest sister do her homework because my mom got pissed at me because she's spying through the ring camera in the dining room and saw I took my 3-year-old and almost 5-month-old up to bed and evidently my grandma then also tried going to bed. And because I didn't feel like fighting my youngest sister about her homework, so I didn't check it.

Do you ever stop and smell the roses?

Not so much.

Where do you download music from?

I use Pandora and Amazon Music.

How many channels do you have on your tv?

Too many. And most of us only use streaming.

What are you most scared of?

Something bad happening to my babies.

If you were given a chance to bring someone back to life, who would you choose?

Justin. He's my cousin that committed suicide.

Do you talk to any of your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend?

Nope.

If so, which one?

None.

What is your mom doing right now?

Probably watching the ring camera and talking shit or complaining to my dad. Because they're in TN right now. And I'm just a big failure that is ruining their vacation and going to make them come home early, which I won't hear the end of for the rest of my life probably. Even though they usually go out of state at least every six months, usually more often. By themselves.

Are you currently listening to music?

Nope.

What is the weather like right now?

45 degrees.

Do you like new music or older music?

Both.

If you could make a law, what would kind of law would you make?

Oof. Where to start with the shit-show that is about to occur in the US in January..

What was the last video game you played?

I don't remember.

What is currently going on in the room you're in right now?

I'm doing this and Jake is playing video games with one of his buddies. I'm about to go to bed when I finish this.

Do you know where your best friend is?

Home. And hospital. My friend in the hospital might be having her baby boy early.

Who was the last person to comment you on Facebook?

I'd have to look but I left my phone upstairs.

What is your display picture of on Facebook?

A picture of Jake, the kiddos, and I from when we went to the apple orchard.

Do you ever sit and think about the past?

Too much. Lately it's been especially bad.

If you could relive any moment in time: what would it be?

Hmm. Has to be one of the times after giving birth to my kids. Like when we went home for the first time. Probably after Olivia since she was our last so we'd have all of our babies.

Are you a talker or a listener?

Listener for sure.

What is one food you will not eat?

I don't do seafood.

Do you eat anything now that you never used to eat?

Lots of stuff. I was super picky before Jacob.

Have you ever kissed the same sex?

On a dare.

When does school start this year?

Whenever I can find a new internship site. Love my life right now.

Do you ever shout for absolutely no reason?

No.

Have you stuck with your new years resolution?

I don't make them.

Do you need to lose any weight right now?

Yeah.

What is something you want right now?

Not have so many extra people living in our house.

Do you hate when you see teachers in stores?

I never cared.

What always puts a smile on your face?

Hugs from my babies. Smiles from them.

Where can I find you on a Saturday night?

At home.

What is the best thing about Sundays?

Nothing really.

What is your music provider (itunes, windows media player)?

Pandora is my preferred if Jake isn't using it. We share his.

How many songs do you have?

A lot.

When was the last time you had a period?

I guess right after I had Olivia if we want to count that. Otherwise it's been over a year.

Why do you think the sky is blue?

Whatever science says..

If you could change the sky to any color, which would you choose?

Maybe a pretty light purple. I don't know. Or just nighttime all the time.

Is there anything wrong with you right now?

My life is a fucking disaster and I feel completely alone. So a lot.

Do you hate when people stare at you?

It makes me uncomfortable, so yes.

[cherryfairytwist]

RickFic Ch6. Girls Night

(Tags: +18 minors DNI/substance use/drinking/violence/manipulation/sexual situations implied)

—- HELLO —-

—- INITIATING DOWNLOAD SEQUENCE MEMORY CLUSTER #6 —-

—-PULLING UP EARLIEST ASSISTED MEMORY RECORDS —-

—- NARRATION SIMULATING NOW —-

Astrid lay scrawled out on Summer’s bedroom floor right at the foot of her bed, the girls had all drank a little and were listening to snake jazz on Summer’s music player. Both Summer and Jessica lay on top of the bed with their heads hanging off the end above Astrid while Nancy sat in her favorite spot on a bean bag just to the side of them. 

“I know you showed us Snake Jazz a while ago but it’s still such a banger.” Jessica said smiling up at the ceiling. 

“Yeah Grandpa and Morty seem to have gotten over it, but I keep wanting to listen sometimes. They normally over do it and get sick of things way too fast.” Summer said also staring up at the ceiling. 

“So I guess that’s means snakes have recording studios in space…?” Nancy awkwardly joked while leaned back on the bean bag. 

“Well… yeah. Duh. How else would we be hearing this…?” Jessica stated. 

“I bet they look cute in little jazz bands performing.” Astrid said with a laugh, having already seen a snake jazz performance live.

“Oh totally. But I heard they were kind of dicks from Morty.” Summer snorted craning her neck back to look down at Astrid on the floor. 

“So…. The last few times you’ve been over I noticed you and Rick talking in the garage. Is he being pushy? I had a feeling grandpa was going to keep making a big deal out of stupid stuff.” She asked Astrid. 

“He just wants to make sure I’m not like a possible danger.” Astrid said reassuringly. 

“Oh shit! That’s right you went on an adventure with them right?!” Jessica sat up on the bed and turned around to look at Astrid. 

“You guys would never believe what a fucking beast Astrid is! It’s literally driving Rick nuts.” Summer said with an enthusiastic grin. 

“Not going to lie… it is pretty funny how upset he gets. But… he mentioned something about Tammy last time…? I don’t think I’ve heard what happened…?” Astrid said while sitting up and also waiting for Summer to fill her in. 

“Oh Tammy…. Yeah, Summer what did happen to Tammy..?” Nancy asked seemingly also out of the loop. 

“I didn’t tell you..? Oh right…I forget Jessica was the only one I told the whole story to. Honestly it was a lot to process at the time. I think I was still in shock about it for a while. Like I thought she was all our best friend for real.” Summer explained with a hint of hurt in her voice. 

“Tell them! It’s so insane what happened you guys like holy shit.” Jessica insisted. 

All the girls then sat up and scooted closed to the edge of the bed where Summer began to tell them the details. Astrid felt a slight sting of guilt as the story started to sink in. 

“So like… okay, Astrid you didn’t really see much of Tammy because all this went down before you started coming to hang out. She was like all our best friends. Well we thought she was. She turned out to be an undercover agent for the Galactic Federation.” She paused. 

“Like Summer told me, she ended up trying to ambush them at her own wedding!” Jessica blurted out. 

“Wait her wedding…? To that bird guy that’s friends with your grandpa?” Nancy asked trying to piece together info she heard in passing. 

“Yeah.. so neither of you were around when Tammy had gotten engaged to my grandpa Rick’s best friend, Birdperson…. it was kind of weird the whole age gap thing but I tried to be a supportive best friend you know..?” Summer started to ramble on.

“Yeah but like turns out she wasn’t even a high school student anyways!” Jessica inserted again. 

“We all showed up for the wedding and once they were in the middle of it she just pulled a gun and a bunch of Federation bugs just surrounded the place trying to arrest us.” Summer sighed and fell back on her bed defeated. 

Astrid shifted awkwardly on the floor thinking about how painfully similar her situation might be to the topic. Nancy also seemed to shift awkwardly in her seat, 

“So… was she an alien….? Or just a regular person but part of the Federation…?” She asked. 

“Uhg! NANCY! I don’t know!” Summer snapped back. 

Nancy recoiled and got quiet. Summer looked up from the bed and frowned feeling guilty, 

“Sorry Nancy, I just …really don’t know what the fuck is up with Tammy. She lied the whole time. How should I know?” She looked over to the liquor bottle she had stolen from Rick on her desk and pointed at it. 

“Here.” Astrid reached over and picked it up, she then handed the bottle over to Summer. 

“Well good thing you got out of it! And didn’t you say Tammy stopped hunting your family now?” Jessica asked optimistically. 

“Yeah. Apparently the new bug leaders don’t mess with Rick so he won’t mess with them. But I think Space mom still is fighting against the federation. So…I’m sure they fight all the time.” She said plainly, clearly tired of the topic already. 

She took a few swigs of the bottle and passed it to Jessica. 

“Okay… fuck this depressing shit! Let’s get the vibe back! Come on Nancy, have some!” Jessica then pushed the bottle into Nancy’s hand.

Nancy hesitated but changed her mind after seeing how sad Summer looked. She took a swig and her face made a disgusted look. 

“WOO! NANCY!!” All of them shouted in surprise. 

“Okay let’s get some good vibes cranked up!” Summer said trying to hype herself up. 

She got up and walked over to the music player to change the music, changing it to one of her favorite current radio songs. 

“Hell yeah! I love Megan the Stallion!” She yelled. 

All the girls started to get up dancing around the room and passing the bottle back and forth. After a few more swigs Astrid felt like she needed a breather, 

“I’ll be RIIIIGHT back y’all! I gotta go piss.” She said trying sound playful. 

“Don’t fall in!” Summer called to her as she slipped out into the hallway. 

Once in the hallway alone Astrid took a deep breath. She started to feel the guilt of her identity weigh down even harder. She briefly debated the idea of telling Summer the truth but ultimately shook it out of her thoughts again. There was no way telling any of the Smiths would be a good idea. She grappled around in her jacket and pulled out her bowl and lighter. She then silently snuck downstairs and out the den sliding door to the backyard. She sparked up and took a deep hit. If she couldn’t be honest at least she could be high. She exhaled another puff of smoke and felt her eyes get dry. The song “I Can’t Escape Myself” by The Sound played in her earbuds. She stood there looking out at the yard thinking about the situation. If she just kept up the act she was playing maybe things would turn out fine. They all had awareness she wasn’t quite normal. She could continue to micro-dose them with information. That way she wouldn’t be lying right? They could just slowly get to know the real her? But until when? Until she finally got the order to go after Rick? Until the order was given for a new mission elsewhere? She rubbed her face in frustration. Astrid had rarely come across situations that made her want to blow her cover. 

“Fuck I should have just stayed out of it..” she whispered to no one in particular. 

A loud clanging came from the garage and she snapped back into alertness. The distant yelling of Rick from the garage signaled to Astrid that he and Morty had returned from their duo mission. Astrid quickly put out her pipe and snuck back through the house quietly up to Summer’s room again. Before entering, Astrid waited outside the door to see if she could hear anything being said. She stood with her back against the wall, one ear towards the room and one towards the top of the staircase. 

“Haha! Omg! Brad was totally hitting on you in gym class!! SHUT UPPP ITS OBVIOUS!” Jessica screeched from inside the room. 

“Y-you know Rick, y-you can’t keep doing that type of shit and always expecting it to work!!” Morty also shouted in frustration at Rick from downstairs. 

“C-come on MORTY!! It worked didn’t it?!” He demanded back. 

“D-did you have an aneurism!? WE ALMOST DIED!!” Morty screamed back as he started to storm over to the stairs. 

Astrid having heard enough, opened the room door and joined the girls again. She walked in just as Nancy was wrestling Jessica back for her phone. 

“No don’t!!” Nancy pleaded to Jessica. 

“WHAT?! He’s never going to make a move if you never talk to him!!” Jessica playfully yanked the phone back and continued to text something into the phone. 

Astrid snorted and sat down on the bed next to Summer who was clearly buzzed at this point, laughing at the girls bickering. 

“You know what? This is the perfect time to play some truth or dare.” Summer wiggled her eyebrows while an evil smile curled around on her face. 

“Noooo!” Nancy pleaded. 

“YES!” Summer and Jessica pressed. 

They both pulled Nancy back down onto the beanbag while they situated themselves on either side of her on the floor. Summer then looked up at Astrid and patted the ground indicating for her to join them on the floor. 

Right as Astrid walked over she heard a very delayed creak from the stairs. She instantly knew by then Morty should be in his room by now unless he had stopped to listen in on the girls. She then heard his footsteps quickly pass the door to his room followed by a loud slam of his door shutting. Astrid wanted to laugh but kept it to herself as she joined the girls back on the floor. 

“Okay we can all go in a circle asking the other group members what they’d choose. So like I’ll ask all three of you which you choose, I’ll come up with something for each of you and then it’s the next person’s turn to ask.” She said with mischievous intent. 

“Please you guys….! Don’t make it too bad…” Nancy insisted again but more defeated this time. 

“Uhg fine. I’ll start you off with an easy round Nancy but you better get with it as we play longer!” Summer said rolling her eyes.

“So you three choose! Truth or dare?!” Summer asked arching her eyebrows. 

“Dare!” Jessica said confidently. 

“Truth!” Nancy said covering her face with her hands. 

“Dare.” Astrid said calmly. 

“Ooo, great start! Jessica, I dare you to message Thomas and tell him your waisted! Nancy… oh! NANCY DO YOU LIKE BRAD?! Yes or no?!” Summer screeched. 

Jessica giggled and proceeded to text Thomas exactly as Summer instructed. Nancy’s face quickly turned red as she kept her hands glued to her face. 

“I… umm… I don’t know….. I guess he is pretty cute…” Nancy struggled to let out. 

“GOD WE KNEW IT!” Jessica and Summer both chimed in. 

Everyone proceeded to pass the bottle around again. Just as they were all settling down again Astrid heard a small creak coming from the hall near Morty’s room. He must have gotten curious about the game the girls were playing. But then Astrid’s attention was quickly snapped back to the girls as Summer set her sights on Astrid.

“Okay Astrid. I…. Umm.. DARE you to go snatch another liquor bottle from Rick’s garage without being caught!” She blurted out.

“Uh…you sure? Won’t your grandad get pissed at you if he finds out…?” Astrid checked before getting up to go through with it. 

“Um… yeah. It’ll be fine! If he catches you and gets super mad just blame me. He’ll get annoyed but he knows we’re just having a bit of fun. Worst case scenario he’ll make me do chores for him for a week.” She thought through for a second. 

Astrid got up and rolled her eyes at the door for a second, not wanting to cause more problems causing Rick to dislike her. But she looked over and saw Summer’s curious face. Astrid wondered if this was some kind of test with a deeper meaning. If it was, then of course she had to get on Summer’s good side. That way, no matter how much Rick wanted to bitch about Astrid coming on missions, it wouldn’t matter because Summer and Morty would still want her around. 

“Umm okay….! But y’all need to keep being loud up here so he doesn’t suspect anything weird is going on.” She said trying to cover her reluctance. 

“Yeah yeah! We got it! We will play the next round and you can just catch up once you get back!” Jessica reassured. 

Astrid then turned and opened the door quietly, hearing a shuffling in the hallway, she assumed it was Morty. She closed the door behind her and stood silent for a second until the girls all started chatting loudly again. She looked over towards Morty’s door which she noticed was ajar. She knew this would be the perfect opportunity to get in good with him as well by making him feel included. She knew he wouldn’t question her weird behavior if she didn’t question his. 

“Morty!” She whispered, “I know you’re there, come out for a second.” 

Morty quickly popped his head out shyly with wide eyes expecting to be made fun of. Astrid motioned to him silently to come closer. 

“H-hey Astrid… uh.. I swear I wasn’t like-….” He tried to explain himself but was cut off.

“Morty would you do me a solid and help me with this dare?” She asked plainly and unbothered by his obvious spying. 

“Oh! Uh… yeah! Of course! W-what do y-you need me to do…?” He said now enthusiastic after not being made fun of. 

“Okay so I know this might be asking a lot… but Summer dared me to snatch a bottle from your grandad. Could you maybe distract him away from the garage just long enough for me to get in and out?” Astrid asked in hopes of Morty playing into her plan. 

Morty rubbed his neck awkwardly while thinking and then looked up at Astrid. “Y-yeah… I think I could do that. How long do you need..?” 

“Hmm.. he has those beers in his mini fridge right…? Where does he keep the liquor bottles?” She thought about how long it might take her to find said items. 

“Oh uh, he has some under his work bench in the shelves sometimes… he has a whole liquor room under the garage in the basement lab but you’d need the code for that….” He said hesitantly. 

“Wait…. There is an underground lab under the garage….?” Astrid’s curiosity was peeked, she wanted to grin but acted as if it was no big deal. “Wait- of course he does. Why am I even surprised?” She said waving away the new information. 

“Look, don’t worry about that.” She quickly said to Morty to keep him from feeling uneasy. “I’m not going to ask for the codes. Just distract him long enough for me to check the shelves and we’re good.” She said making up her mind. 

“Okay! I-I got you!” Morty said confidently before rushing down the stairs. 

Astrid quickly followed behind him hiding against the wall in the dining room to wait. 

She heard Morty open the garage door and call out for Rick. But instead of his voice coming from the garage it came from a different part of the house Astrid hadn’t been before. 

“M-Morty! I’m in my room.” He shouted from down the hall. 

Morty quickly ran in the direction of his Grandfather through the dining room, giving a determined nod to Astrid as he passed her. Astrid then slinked over to the garage quickly leaving the door slightly cracked behind her. She went over to Rick’s work bench and started opening shelves. She spotted a single liquor bottle that had fallen over behind a few nondescript boxes and containers of sci-fi junk. She snatched it and closed all the shelves behind her. She pulled it up and noticed the bottle was already half empty. She sighed and decided it would have to do. Astrid then walked over to the door and listened to hear what might be on the other side. She heard Morty stuttering trying to grab Rick’s attention as footsteps got closer to the door. She quickly holds her breath while pressed up against the shelf next to the door, trying to make herself as flat as possible. With a quick jolt the door sprung open and Rick stomped through into the garage right over to his work bench. Morty caught a glimpse of Astrid as he scuffled in behind Rick. His eyes went wide but Astrid held a finger to her lips indicating for Morty to keep quiet and calm. He quickly nodded and rushed over to the other side of Rick near his work bench striking up a loud and distracting conversation. Astrid slipped out quickly just as she heard the two of them start to bicker over the mission they had just gone on. Something about Seahorses and how the men got pregnant…. She shook her head and rushed back up the staircase to Summer’s room. Once inside she presented the bottle to the three girls with an awkward grin. 

“Aww only half…? Eh that’s grandpa for you.” Summer said after being met with the sight. 

“Yeah… honestly Summer, I get that those dares might be fun for you guys but.. I don’t know… I feel like I’m a little too old to be doing stuff like that if you don’t mind.” Astrid said playing with her hair casually in hopes of guiding Summer away from giving her immature dares. 

“Oh right…. Uh sorry Astrid. Sometimes I forget you probably don’t want to do those kinds of things cause they’re stupid…” she said embraced. 

“Hey! It’s okay! Just keep in mind it’s a little weird for me, technically I’m kind of a teacher so I don’t know…. Maybe I’ll stick to truth more in the next few rounds.” 

“Yeah okay! If you do pick dare I’ll think about something more fitting next time.” Summer said feeling more relaxed now that Astrid seemed chill about it.

The girls all continued on with their game. Astrid mostly stuck to choosing “truth” in hopes of not being asked to mess with Rick’s stuff again. But this too quickly made her stick to giving vague information about herself. Such as: 

“First crush!?” Nancy asked shyly. 

“Um… a boy in the same program as me. He gave me my listening earbuds…. He got me really into music I guess you could say….?” Astrid struggled to admit without giving too much information. 

“Program? Like as in when you went to school..?” Summer asked confused. 

“Uh… yeah. Our schooling…” Astrid squeezed out a little white lie that wasn’t exactly inaccurate. 

After a few more rounds of chugging from the bottle and the girls started to get real spicy with their questions. Suddenly it was Astrid’s turn to answer another question truthfully. 

“Who was your last relationship or fling? And how was it?!” Jessica giggled asking Astrid. 

All the girls looked at her curiously wanting to know more about the mysterious life of Astrid. 

“Well… I’m not sure what to call it exactly… “ she awkwardly pondered still feeling the sting of the past situation. 

A creak was heard outside the door of Summer’s room in the hall, Astrid instantly knew Morty had been listening the whole time. She rubbed her face in frustration and decided to get it over with. 

“I guess it was more of a fling…. She was my ex co-worker… Reagan. My agency sent me to partner with their company and so I guess some of her office buddies kind of thought it would be funny to meddle with our relationship… things just got sticky I guess. It’s like weird trying to explain all that… but basically it ended off confusing.” Astrid said while looking up at the ceiling thinking about it. 

“Agency…? Company…? What did you do-?” Nancy asked before being interrupted by Summer.

“YIKES….I totally hear you. You know… that’s honestly how I felt after me and Ethan’s relationship. It just got so messy and confusing… I mean we were both younger and I guess what’s how teen relationships go…?“ Summer rambled on not paying attention in an attempt to relate to Astrid. 

“I remember that! Honestly Summer you were way too good for him anyway. He was kind of a loser.” Jessica input. 

“So I guess it’s my turn to ask you all Truth or Dare?” Astrid hurriedly asked hoping Nancy’s questions would be forgotten about. 

“Okay since we’ve been doing a lot of dares already I guess I’ll choose truth this time!” Summer answered. 

“Not me, I want another Dare!” Jessica quickly replied.

“Um…. I guess since Astrid did a dare she didn’t want to do earlier I’ll choose dare too…” Nancy said having a bit of courage. 

“Oooooo!!” All the girls cooed at her proudly. 

“Okay okay! Hmm… Jessica I dare you to tell us who you have a crush on.” Astrid said thinking of something that seemed pretty simple. 

“Well… I’ve already told Summer but I think her dad Jerry is kinda hot-“ Jessica said in a suggestive tone before Summer interrupted her with a scream. 

“EWWW STOP JESSICA NO!!” She screamed while shoving two pillows against her ears in disgust. 

“Ewww…..!” Both Astrid and Nancy chimed in. 

“Oh whatever!! Obviously both your two moms seem to like him for the same reasons!!” Jessica huffed. 

“Yeah but like….. they’re all adults! You’re way too young!” Astrid said slapping her hand against her forehead in disbelief. 

“Uhg come on! Like… I know that! Calm down old lady!” Jessica defensively joked back at Astrid. 

“Hey! I’m not that old……! I’m probably only a little younger than Jerry!” Astrid laughed while wiggling her eyebrows at Jessica. 

All the girls erupted into laughter as Jessica snatched one of the pillows from Summer. She then playfully started hitting all of them with it. While the laughter died down. Astrid quickly took a peek at the bedroom door and noticed a little shadow underneath it in the hallway. Like she had thought, Morty must have been quietly listening in still.  

“Hey Nancy, I dare you to like a photo on Brad’s instagram. You know his insta don’t you?!” She said with a laugh, thinking about how silly this was. 

“Wait…. What if he thinks I’m creeping on him??” She asked looking back embarrassed. 

“Nancy! Brad has already flirted with you! If he wonders how you found his insta just say it popped up on you recommend accounts.” Summer snickered. 

The girls all silently waited and watched Nancy go to his profile on her phone and like the most recent picture of him backpacking on a hiking trail. 

“See! That wasn’t so bad! Okay let’s keep playing.” Jessica said while turning back to Astrid.

“Anyway…. Okay uh Truth for you right..?” Astrid turned to Summer and asked. 

“Yeah! Ask me anything!” Summer said with a smile. 

“Hmm…. Well…” Astrid thought for a second wondering what she might want to know. “So I’ve kind of figured out the situation between your moms and dad… so then what’s the deal with Rick? Do you have a grandmother…? Are they like divorced or something? I’ve never seen her around…” Astrid asked curiously. 

“Oh grandma…? Honestly I’m not really sure what the back story is…..other than her passing away.” Summer replied. 

“Oh gosh… sorry I didn’t mean to bring up a sore topic….” Astrid said remorsefully. 

“No don’t even sweat! I never knew her. She passed before I was born, I never heard much about it from the family. But it is odd though… even in other dimensions it seems none of the other Ricks have wives either…? I’m sure that’s more secret Rick lore or something.” She said casually wondering. 

“Hu.. weird.” Astrid also pondered. 

“But granddad is always having like raunchy ass flings, believe me. He’s  literally such a dog!” Summer laughed really hard while continuing the conversation. 

“Oh really? I’m guessing he hooks up with a bunch of Alien girls?” Jessica also asked seeming surprised. 

“Not just ladies! Grandpa is like super gay. He’s probably hooked up with every and any type of alien gender that’s even out there! He’s messed with like… aliens, mutants, animal people, planets… uh even a hive mind…” Summer started to list off the ones she knew about. 

“A hive mind…?” Astrid asked suddenly feeling a memory of her own tingling in the back of her head. 

“Oh yeah… um a hive mind is like a thing that takes over multiple brains of alien species kind of… and then they all share a mind and it can communicate and function through all of them…? It would make more sense if you met one I guess… but yeah anyway he hooked up with a hive mind called Unity.” She continued to try and explain. 

“Unity..?” Astrid muttered to herself shocked. 

“Yeah he was such a a dick to it too! Unity was so nice and grandpa just kept using it. Morty and I brought up how wack things were and then things quickly fell apart between them I guess.” Summer continued to go more into details about the failed relationship, however Astrid had already tuned out of the conversation after hearing the name “Unity” . 

Astrid grimaced as an old memory of hers surfaced. Astrid was no longer in Summer’s room with the girls. They now stood stairing down at the metal floor of the agency’s transportation ship as it neared a planet somewhere in space.

“We’re nearing the drop off point!” The ship pilot  shouted back to Astrid as large sliding doors opened at the back of the ship. 

“Got it!” Astrid shouted back and tapped their ear communicator to open a channel to their then handler. 

“I’m nearing the sight.” Astrid copied. 

“Good.” A voice replied through the ear piece. 

“Remember, you’re trying to find out what happened to all our missing agents at the cargo outpost we set up there a few months ago. Keep your cover as a tourist in the village. Keep alert and get back in a timely manner if possible. Make sure to give me updates. I know this is one of your first solo missions, don’t think this is an opportunity to slack off. Do what you need to do to gain trust and information but try to do it as efficiently as possible. If I haven’t heard from you by tomorrow with an update we’ll send in the squad.” The voice ordered. 

“Understood.” Astrid replied before turning the communication button off on their ear piece. 

“Okay we’re at the drop sight! Get going!!” Shouted the pilot. 

“See ya later!” Astrid shouted as they ran toward the open doors at the back of the ship. 

Cueing up one of their favorite alien songs, one their fellow agent Jax had shown them, in their earpiece. Right as the song started to play Astrid leapt from the ship and went soaring down towards the planet through the atmosphere. Their heart raced in excitement for the new mission. They shifted to form black bird like wings once they neared the ground. They then glided on past some simple but beautiful terrain into a forest off to the side of the village. Astrid then gabbed hold of a branch as their wings shifted back into their person. They used the branch to flip themselves and then land on the ground. They looked back up at the sky watching the ship disappear back out past the atmosphere. 

“Astrid?” Summer called again. 

Astrid’s vision focused back on Summer’s face, “Oh, ha! Sorry I zoned out there for a second.” She laughed. 

“We were wondering what was going on.” Jessica said with a smile. 

“You getting tired? I mean it is getting late. Do y’all just want to watch a movie downstairs like last time until we want to go to bed?” Summer asked also getting tired. 

Astrid looked out the window and was surprised to see it was now pitch black outside. She rubbed her head and face while standing up to stretch. The girls all did a variation of the same thing before heading downstairs towards the living room. They all got comfortable in various spots on the couch as Summer flicked on the Tv and changed through various channels. Astrid started to drift back into a daze thinking about that past mission of hers just as Morty came downstairs to try and join them. The siblings started to argue about what to watch. 

“Report!?” The voice demanded in Astrid’s ear piece. 

Astrid jolted up awake from a bed in the local village’s inn. They looked around the room to get their bearings before answering. They quickly recounted what had transpired the previous night. They had gotten roped into partying with the locals and seemed to have made a few new “friendships” as well. 

“I was welcomed into the village as a tourist. The people seemed to have already been celebrating some type of occasion when I showed up. However most of the villagers I interacted with were not sober so I wasn’t able to get solid intel. I was able to get a few names of villagers to further question who might know more about the outpost and previous “tourists” that have come before me. I’ll be perusing that today.” Astrid quickly informed their handler. 

“Good. Keep at it. Report back tomorrow morning.” The voice stated. 

“Understood.” Astrid said as they clicked the earpiece off. 

“Tell him Astrid!!” Summer yelled frustratedly at her. 

“Um….” Astrid snapped back to the present and looked at Summer who had put Morty in a headlock in front of the Tv while the other girls laughed. 

“H-hey!! Stop it Summer!! OW!” Morty squirmed trying to get away. 

“God Morty. Least you could do is not be rude. You’re crashing our girls night.” Jessica snorted. 

“I-I just wanted to watch movies too!” He scrambled to defend himself. 

“Yeah but don’t come in here trying to tell us what we should watch then! If you want to join then shut up and watch!” Summer teased as she let go of Morty and shoved him into the arm chair next to the couch. 

“Yeah I really wanted to watch this movie!” Nancy perked up looking at the screen. 

Astrid shifted on the couch taking in the moment. Summer sat back down on the couch and cued up what looked to be a romance movie. Morty then let out an annoyed sigh before being shushed at angrily by the girls. 

Astrid leaned her head against her hand on the arm rest of the couch trying to pay attention, but that quickly faded. 

“Oh uh…. Gross! I’m so sorry!” The village bar tender said sympathetically to Astrid. “Gosh I’m so sorry about that… some of our regulars get a little too plastered sometimes….here I’ll get you a towel!” He said as he ran to the back room. 

Astrid sat at the bar wiping what looked like vomit off the side of their face and shoulder. They looked down on the ground where a random local laid unconscious on the ground next to them. Moments ago, said local had grabbed Astrid, pried their mouth open, and proceeded to try and vomit into their mouth. Obviously Astrid instantly knocked him unconscious before anything got in. Astrid lifted up their glass and took a swig. They had seen weird shit before but never had someone try to vomit into their mouth like that. 

“Here! Also… next drink is on the house! I hope that’s good compensation after this weird.. misunderstanding.” The bar tender returned and handed Astrid a towel. 

“Uh yeah.. sure. Does this guy do that often…?” Astrid asked while poking the local on the floor with their shoe. 

The bar tender filled up Astrid’s glass again ignoring the question, “You must have an insane liver! You’ve been knocking these back for hours!” He said with a jovial laugh. 

“You think so? If you’d believe it, I actually just started drinking for the first time a few months ago.” Astrid laughed and slammed the drink back quickly. 

“Ahhhh! A real hearty lass!!” Cheered another local coming into the bar with some friends. 

The small group of alien locals all surrounded Astrid at the bar ordering drinks. Astrid noted that there seemed to be three ladies and four men in the group, all smiles and grins, exuding warm and friendly energy. Astrid then remembered these aliens where the ones who had made Astrid join in on the party the night they had landed on planet. 

“Oh hey you guys! Remember me from the other night? You all were so drunk I won’t take it personal if you don’t.” Astrid beamed. 

“Oh that’s right! Hello hon!” One of the women greeted sweetly. 

“You’re not from around here right…? I don’t think we’ve seen you around before other than last night!” Another of the women asked curiously. 

“That’s right! I’m just popping by the planet on my way to visit a friend. I heard some friends of mine came through here a while ago though. I was wondering if any of you might have seen them?” Astrid asked sweetly. 

“Hmm I don’t reckon we have! Then again you might want to go ask Jillion down at the docks. He takes care of boat transport and fishin!” The main gentleman answered heartily. 

“Thanks! I’ll go ask him.” Astrid said setting their glass down and pulling out their wallet. 

“Hey wait! The party just started friend! Why don’t you join us for a few rounds?! We just got here!” One of the other guys chimed in. 

“Well….I…” Astrid hesitated but didn’t want to seem rude. 

“Don’t worry about it! Jillion comes around the bar a little later anyways!” The third woman said with smile. 

“Well, okay. Show me what you got!” Astrid said with a grin. 

Astrid shifted on the couch and looked over to see Summer wiping tears off her face. She then looked over to see the other girls, even Morty, were also all crying while watching the Tv. The main love interest was in the protagonist’s arms dying. Astrid snorted not taking it seriously at all and looked back at the kitchen. 

“Hey Summer, can I snag a soda from the fridge?” Astrid asked. 

“Sure. *sob* oh gosh this movie is so romantic…” She trailed off still glued to the movie. 

Astrid got up and went into the dark kitchen. The kids had turned the lights off for a more “immersive” movie experience. Once alone Astrid sighed while glancing at the garage door. 

“I guess we have a lot more in common than I thought Sanchez….” Astrid murmured to herself while opening the fridge thinking about Unity. 

Astrid thought back to when things really started to get weird on that planet. A couple of days had come and gone in a blur. The towns people sure seemed to like partying. Every morning Astrid would wake up hung over practically forgetting most of the company they had kept while there. This lead to Astrid hooking up with a few of them. After not being able to locate the person called “Jillion” multiple days in a row, Astrid continued on with their report.

“I’m starting to notice a strange pattern with the town’s people. I think I’m on to something.” Astrid concluded to their handler. 

“Fine. But hurry it up. The Agency isn’t going to like how long this is taking. Give me something useful by tomorrow morning or I’m coming in to assist on the mission.” The voice ordered. 

“Understood.” Astrid replied like usual. 

After hanging up Astrid pieced together bits of information they had gathered from their past few drunken days. It was always the same. Astrid would wake up, give their report and head into town to get breakfast. After wandering around town for a bit in an attempt to snoop, they would always be intercepted by town’s members seemingly welcoming Astrid to join them in celebration. For what celebration? The answer would always be vague. Like: “good harvest”, “a beautiful day”, a “great bounty” after a hunt, so on and so on. Astrid would then always end up at the bar plastered with the same group of “friends”.  Which then normally lead to a quick drunken hook up. But then Astrid had another one of the locals try to vomit in their mouth again last night. Astrid jolted out of bed and rushed to the Inn room window. 

“Why would two different individuals try to vomit in my mouth….? The bar tender acted embarrassed for me but what did he say it was when he offered me a free drink….? A… misunderstanding….? Misunderstanding of what..?” Astrid rubbed their temples. 

Astrid even started to remember how in some conversation with individuals they seemed to know things that had never been talked about between the two of them. Astrid pondered this harder. It wasn’t like mind reading, it’s not like they knew things Astrid had never said before. But it was like they knew things Astrid had spoken about with other towns members about. How did they all do that? How could they discuss Astrid while right in front of them? Then a blurry memory of the hook up they had last night surfaced, remembering it made Astrid uneasy. They remembered being in the local’s bedroom and looking at some type of forest animal just watching them in the middle of sex. But any time eye contact was made the creature would always look away or continue on with munching on leaves. But the eye contact felt too sentient for Astrid’s liking. An eerie feeling creeped down Astrid’s spine. 

The day had come and gone, it was already night time again and Astrid had been chumming it up with the usual group of villager “friends”. Except this time Astrid had been cleverly making sure all of them had been drinking so much that they must have been black out drunk by now. Astrid would make sure none of the friends noticed when pouring any alcohol from their glass into others’. However the bar tender seemed to keep asking Astrid if they wanted another drink. A bit too often… Astrid then pretended to be too drunk to stand while trying to get up to go to the bathroom. Motioning to the bartender for help knowing the friends were all to trashed to stand themselves. The bar tender left from behind the bar and let Astrid lean on him as they hobbled around the corner behind the bar to the bathrooms. 

“Ha!! Thanks…. I’m s-sorry I’m such a m-mess.. I’m sure y-you have to do this toooo much w-with how rowdy your crowd gets!” Astrid blubbered on with a shy smile. 

“It’s no problem really…. You’re pretty cute…It’s been a while since I’ve seen strangers come in to town… I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself here with us.” He said nervously still helping her down the hall. 

“Awww you’re sweet… all of you are sooooo sweeeet!” Astrid giggled and stumbled a bit causing them to bump up against the wall. 

“I’m actually pretty surprised… you didn’t even drink that much tonight compared to other nights.. but you seem so hammered. Did we really wear you down finally?” He joked awkwardly.  

“Oh you noticed…?” Astrid drunkenly looked up at him with sad eyes. “You see… I’m not actually on vacation…” Astrid said in a pained voice. 

He looked down at them in worried surprise. “Wait… then why are you here? You’re not looking for your friends?” He asked searching Astrid’s face. 

“No.. you see.. I- I’m looking for my partner… we had just gotten m-married but she came here for work and then never- never came back…” Astrid started to sob. 

Astrid continued to sob while looking up at him and noticed a huge look of guilt written across his face. They then shoved their face into his chest and sobbed some more. He patted Astrid’s head and mumbled, 

“I’m so sorry hon…” he said continuing to hold on. “Here, let’s get you some tissues from the bathroom.” He pulled her into the restroom and sat them down on a side table next to a vase with flowers in it. 

Astrid took the tissues he handed them and blotted their eyes. They then looked up to see that the bathroom door had just shut behind the two of them. 

“Oh I was meaning to ask…. W-Why did you think I was looking for my friends…?” Astrid asked still sobbing a little. 

“Oh I uh… must have overheard you in the bar the other day talking about it.” He said casually. 

“R-right.. duh..” Astrid said putting their hands in their face. 

“Hey hey! Don’t cry…” he said putting his fingers under their chin and pulling their face up close to his. 

He looked down at Astrid with sad eyes as well. Astrid met his gaze with large hurt eyes. 

“I don’t know why I keep fucking up…. But I wished I could make that pain go away….” He muttered softly to them. 

“Oh by vomiting in my mouth?” Astrid said stone cold sober, their eyes switching to cold reptilian looking slits. 

“W-what the…what are you?!” He recoiled away slamming into the opposite bathroom wall. 

Astrid heard a few glasses shatter from the main bar area right after his reaction. 

Astrid lunged at him, pinning him tightly against the wall by his throat. They let out a laugh and got up close in his face, many of their teeth turned sharp and animal like. 

“Nice try.” Astrid said with a smile before knocking him unconscious. 

Astrid quickly picked up the flower vase and smashed it on the floor next to him. They shifted back to how they looked before and proceeded to stumble out of the bathroom still pretending to be drunk. 

“Let’s see where this goes…” Astrid mumbled to themself with a hunch before coming back into the main section of the bar. 

“Uh- um help!! I w-was stumbling and the b-bar tender had a vase h-hit him on the h-head…!” She breathed out harshly still keeping up the act. 

Astrid looked up to be met with the sight of everyone in the bar staring back terrified not wanting to move a single inch closer. Instantly Astrid realized they all knew what had actually happened in the bathroom so they dropped the act. They’re eyes changing to demonic black pools. They then snatched the nearest person in the bar by their hair. In a flash they held a laser gun to the hostage’s head and looked at the crowd with a smile. 

“Wait!!” They all said panicked in eerie unison. 

Astrid stood there for a second and thought about something they had learned in passing at the Agency, a life form known as a hive mind. But in all honesty Astrid had never considered they might actually meet one in real life so soon into their first few missions. 

“Oh so this is what this is….. you’re a hive mind…?” They asked it. 

“Yes.” They all answered back scared. 

“So you’re the reason our agents went missing…?” Astrid asked curiously. 

“Yes… I did not realize your agency would send in a being like you….” One of the women in the crowd stepped forward and answered. 

“Well you got our attention alright.” Astrid said while quickly tapping the button on their ear piece. 

“Reporting. Seems like the whole town is infested with a hive mind.” Astrid reported to their handler. 

“No! Please!” The whole group in the bar lunged at Astrid. 

A shot rang out and the hostage fell to the floor dead, the whole crowd grimaced in pain for a second as the handler’s reply came back over the earpiece, 

“Exterminate it.” The voice ordered. 

“Understood.” Astrid said with a wicked smile as a full on bar fight broke out between themself and the hive mind.. 

“M-Morty!!” Rick shouted drunkenly from the garage causing Astrid to snap out of it. 

She closed the fridge quickly after picking up a sprite. Morty then entered the kitchen and looked at Astrid in the dark, 

“Y-You okay Astrid…?” He asked a little weirded out seeing the look on her face while just standing alone in the kitchen. 

“Oops ya caught me zoning out again, my bad.” She said with a smile. 

“Ha- n-no worries… I’m just going to uh…” he said awkwardly scooting by her towards the garage. 

“Sorry, excuse me.” Astrid said moving out of the way for him and then returning back into the den. 

Once arriving she saw the movie credits were rolling and the girls were rubbing their eyes from tears.

“That was heart breaking.” Nancy said with a sniff as she was curled up in a ball. 

“That made me so sad I just want to go to bed now!” Jessica sobbed out. 

“Uhg me too!” Summer sniffled and rubbed her nose. 

“Aww you all going to retreat so soon?” Astrid asked while sitting back down on the couch. 

“Honestly… yeah I think I’m going to go lay down…” Nancy said defeated while leaving to go upstairs. 

“I’m ganna go check on her.” Jessica said before getting up to leave as well. 

“I’m guessing you’re having a second wind? Your night owl status creeping back up?” Summer said trying to joke to make herself feel better. 

“How’d you know?” Astrid asked while playfully arching her eyebrow at Summer. 

“Well.. definitely feel free to hang out and watch whatever you want…sorry if the movie wasn’t really your thing… you seemed pretty bored.” She replied. 

“Eh don’t worry about it. I’ve just had my fair share of heartbreaks so I’m not as fazed by sad romance I guess.” Astrid said just as another memory surfaced. 

“P-please! Don’t kill me..! I’ll do whatever you want!! Please!” The last living villagers gasped out as Astrid proceeded to choke her to death in the bar. 

Everyone had quickly been slaughtered by Astrid within minutes after being given the order to exterminate. They sighed looking down at the lady, they had to make sure this was the only one left. So Astrid let go and tossed the woman against the bar hard, causing her back and head to make a loud cracking noise. 

“Ah!!” She screamed out in pain. 

Astrid quickly grabbed a fork with one hand and the woman’s throat with their other hand. They pressed them painfully against the bar top, making the lady gasp for air. 

“Tell me, is there any of yourself left in the village?” Astrid asked calmly as if asking about the weather. 

“I thought we were becoming friends…!” She whimpered out. 

“I’m sure that’s what you wanted me to think.” Astrid said emotionlessly pressing the dull fork up to her neck. 

“No! It’s true I tried to assimilate you.. twice…. But after that I realized I couldn’t!! All of tonight I was trying to figure out a way to tell you so I tried to get you drunk.. I was nervous you might freak out!” She insisted. 

“Tell me if there is anyone else left first. Then I’ll humor your charade.” They replied plainly pressing down with the fork already creating bruises on her neck. 

The hive mind host wheezed as tears fell down her face, “p-please! Please….. it’s just this host and the unconscious one in the bathroom. Please hear me out!” She grimaced. 

Astrid dragged her to the bathroom and threw her against one of the stalls. They then locked the door behind them. The woman host coward against the stall coverings her face. Astrid crouched over the unconscious male host on the floor holding out the dull fork above him.

“Okay let’s see how earnest you are.” Astrid looked up at the woman with a grin. “So where is the rest of you?” They asked while slamming the fork down through the male host’s hand. 

The woman screamed out it pain as the male also let out an unconscious yelp and whimper. 

“I’m sorry!! I’m sorry! Please…..!” She gasped. 

Astrid tilted their head up and waited. Astrid’s black emotionless eyes staring through the woman. She looked up at them, eyes full of tears. 

“There is a few more of me sleeping in a hidden cellar in town… some of them are probably your fellow agents! I kept them hidden while you were here!” She insisted. 

“Ah so there it is. You’re going to try to blackmail me into getting them back from your assimilation is that it?” Astrid annoyedly grinned back. 

“No….” She looked down at her feet. “I’ll bring them to you… I’ll reverse the assimilation.” 

“You know that’s not going to be enough. I need all of the other yous. Even the non agent ones.” Astrid smiled back sarcastically. 

“I know… you can have them. I won’t hide them from you anymore… I know you need to prove you fully got rid of me in town…. But please just let one host slip away…. Please?” She crawled forward a little towards Astrid keeping her head down. 

“You really think I’m going to fall for this?” Astrid laughed. “My Agency told me to exterminate the hive mind. Not to extract my fellow agents.”  They replied plainly with a casual look. 

The woman host started to shake in fear, “please… I’m new to being a hive… I didn’t even know there was anything outside of myself and random organisms…. I didn’t even know there were beings besides my own species that couldn’t be assimilated… “ she begged. 

“Well I guess natural selection has brought you to me then.��� Astrid said playfully. 

“I remember! I remember all the things you said when you were drunk…. I saw how sad you were.. something horrible happened to you Astrid! That’s why I wanted to make it go away by having you assimilate… I could have made all of it stop!” She sobbed. 

Something felt like it was cracking inside Astrid, what did she even mean by that….? Sad? Sad about what…? Something horrible..? What the hell was she going on about? But that cracking started to feel more painful. 

“What do you know?!” They stood up, “You’ve never even known pain until this night!” Astrid roared back, smashing the male’s skull under their heel. 

“Aaahhhh!!!” The lady wailed in agony. 

“Come on, you’re going to let me clean up your mess!” Astrid dragged her out of the bathroom and out of the bar. 

“I’m sorry to hear that….” Summer said with an awkward sigh. “But thanks for wanting to hang out still. I’m glad we’re becoming good friends.” Summer said with a smile. 

Astrid felt a slight pain in her heart after hearing Summer say that, “I’m glad we are friends too Summer.” She smiled back. 

“Also sorry if Morty or Grandpa get loud or annoying… they tend to be night owls too. Just come up and hang out in the room and do whatever you want if they start being too much. The girls and I are heavily sleepers so you won’t bug us like those nimrods do in the garage.” Summer stated. 

“Okay I’ll keep that in mind!” Astrid whispered back playfully. 

“Night!” Summer jokingly whispered back to her. 

“Night!” Astrid copied. 

She then slouched back on the couch and looked up at the ceiling after Summer left. 

She nervously hummed to herself softly while recounted the last part of the mission from forever ago.

“Any more sweet lies you want to tell me in hopes I’ll let you go?” Astrid turned back to look at the woman host on the ground. 

The woman looked up at Astrid’s arm that had transformed into a blade, dripping with blood. She looked on behind their legs and saw scattered dead bodies and the house with a hidden cellar was on fire. 

“No. I just want to get some things off my chest before you kill me…” she said tiredly from the pain or losing all the other hosts. 

“Ohh. Do tell.” Astrid grinned. 

“I never personally felt what falling in love was like…. I just could remember through my various hosts what love had felt like to them.” She stated. 

“Ah so your the sentimental type.” Astrid joked. 

“Yeah.. I guess I am… even through your new to drinking you sure don’t seem new to killing…I’m guessing you’ve done this whole rodeo too many times by now…” she stated again. 

“Yep. I’ve seen all the tricks life forms try to pull when wanting to survive.” They admitted. 

“There is one thing I want to experience before I die.” She said struggling to stand up in front of Astrid. 

“Oh yeah?” Astrid grinned anticipating it was going to be a tactic they’d already seen before. 

“Kissing someone I have feelings for.” She said softly as she grabbed Astrid’s hand and pulled in towards them. 

As their lips met, Astrid’s eyes went wide in surprise. Just as they were about to pull away they noticed their arm wasn’t moving like normal. They looked down to see the woman had shoved their blade arm right through her abdomen. 

“Wait- No!” Astrid breathed out in shock feeling as if they had been tricked somehow. 

“Ha! I guess I win….I pulled a trick you haven’t seen before.” She whispered while collapsing into the ground. 

“No! ….no! No this isn’t how it was supposed to….” Astrid clumsily grabbed at her to keep her head from dropping.

“I’m glad I got to meet you Astrid.” She said weakly. 

“Your name!! What’s your name..?!” Astrid started to tear up. “Or does your species do that kind of thing…?” Astrid shook the woman awake. 

“I’m Unity…” she replied faintly before slipping into unconsciousness. 

When she woke, she saw Astrid sitting next to her on the inn bed. She patted her stomach in surprise realizing she wasn’t dead and that there wasn’t even a scar left. 

“I’m alive-?” She questioned before she felt a gun pressed to the side of her head. 

“You’re going to leave far away from here. If you ever assimilate another agency member you better kill them and then run far FAR away from where you found them. If I ever catch wind that you’re causing issues for me again I will destroy you. No amount of space will hide you from my grasp.” Astrid looked at her with red glowing eyes. 

“But if you’re letting me live why can’t I see you sometime-?” She earnestly asked before being cut off. 

“Don’t you get it?! I never want to see your faces again. You’ll only cause me problems. If I even hear a rumor about you surfacing near me I will hunt you down and put and end to this clear mistake I am making now.” They hissed. 

“Astrid… I want to be with you really….” She teared up. 

“I don’t care. I’m leaving. You’re leaving. We will act like none of this ever happened.” They said standing up and going to the door. 

“Astrid….please..” Unity asked one more time. 

“I’m sorry.” Astrid replied before disappearing. 

Astrid looked up from the couch just as Morty ran from the kitchen back upstairs muttering to himself angrily, 

“I can’t fucking believe this… stupid old man.” He said storming to his bedroom followed by a loud slam of his door. 

“M-Morty…! Come on….morty!” A tipsy Rick stumbled into the den holding a bottle. 

“Had enough already…?” Astrid joked craning her head back to look at him. 

“Oh it’s y-you.” He mumbled and swayed back and forth a little in the kitchen doorway. 

“Y-yeah it’s me.” She mocked copying his drunken speech. 

“H-hey! I…. I don’t have to t-take this!” He said annoyed turning to leave. 

“Wait. I’m just fucking with you. Want to smoke…? It’ll probably make you feel better.” Astrid asked pulling out her bowl. 

Rick whipped his head around making that puckered face while scrunching his eyebrows at her. He then turned back around, 

“T-this some kind of joke o-or…?” He asked suspiciously. 

Astrid rolled her eyes and got up, sliding the patio doors open and motioned for him to come outside.

“Come on old man, not everything is a trap.” She said with a grumpy tone while sparking up. 

“Y-yeah yeah. Fine.” He said while stumbling outside to join her. 

She passed him the bowl and he clumsily tried to light it. She then snatched the lighter from him and sparked it instead. 

“I’m not a baby…. T-thanks through..*COUGH*” he tried defending himself but started to cough profusely. 

He hit the bowl a few more times and then swayed a little and stumbled back, sitting himself in one of the lawn chairs. He stared up at the sky quizzically then back at Astrid. 

“H-hey… this isn’t Earth w-weed…!” He whispered at her loudly now starting to feeling it. 

“Oops ya caught me.” Astrid said sarcastically lighting up the bowl. 

—- PART SIX COMPLETED —- 

—- SHUTTING DOWN —-

—- GOODBYE —-

[sistervelvet]

From the type of blocks, folks don’t travel for it

Dirty East not shiny ‘nough, shiny ‘nough for tourists

But in her hood she found a forest

some notes on childhood and writing from my song “essence” want a nibble?

I grew up and was raised in the inner city on the lower east side of my hometown, my whole life, up until relocating to my adopted hometown of Pittsburgh. My folks didn’t move out of my childhood home until a few years ago. I used to live in an apartment building –  also in the inner city –  with my mom, my brothers, and my (step) dad. We left our cramped apartment when my mom was expecting my angel of a baby sister. It was the worst day ever for me when she broke the news. I found a one hundred dollar bill on the ground, I shit you not,  and she made me return it to the nearby office. Within the same hour she took me on a walk, that felt like it was never going to end, to our new home. I stared with confusion and asked her why we needed a house, still agitated and bruised about being forced to return the bill. A hundred dollars! She shared with me that she was expecting and we needed more space. Suddenly the baby wasn’t the baby anymore. I cried. She tried to sooth me by assuring me I’d have my own room. I sobbed harder.

My mom got a solid deal on our place that a nurse’s wage with four children on one income could afford. The previous homeowner told her he was literally fleeing the neighborhood due to how dangerous and “scary” the side of town was getting. Odd flex. He told her he was dying to get out, so he was willing to work with her.

As a total sidebar, this man used to feed hoards, drones of stray cats and let them into the house. Many walked in and out at their complete leisure. They brushed by me one by one and I gripped tightly to my mother’s leg as he gave us a tour. It took us a while to get the cats to stop coming to the front lawn or the backyard. To stop tapping on our windows. I remember it taking ages for them to realize their caretaker wasn’t coming back to feed them. My mom told my brother and I not to feed them or give attention so they would stop coming around. But we always did behind her back. I carry distinct memories watching them all swarm us in our backyard. Looking up at us in unison, a variety of sizes and colors, waiting to be pet or fed. To us it felt magical. My brother and I thought we had cat whispering powers.

Anyway, my mother’s a woman of taste. She can turn rust into gold. She had vision. She in essence bought a rusted red brick, fixer upper that needed some interior work and reworking, ignoring the preachiness of the spooked white man. She turned the inside of our home to something beautiful and memorable. Unique. Though we never had any family photos hanging up. I always say if my mother wasn’t a nurse, she’d be an interior decorator.

One year my mom made the decision to swiftly take me out of my city school after several scarring incidents. I was a charter school kid who went to school way out of the mix from where I was from. Far from my neighborhood or district. Kids I went to school with were constantly calling the east side ghetto, busted and dangerous. Dirty especially. Scary, some would say. The local news was constantly calling certain east side blocks dirty, ghetto, busted and dangerous. Run down. Crime littered. Much of this was hyperbolized, to be clear. This also is not a pity moment. I didn’t feel this way. It was home. My heart. My solace. My refuge. My forest. The place where I felt most relaxed and comfortable. These people also didn’t live there so I knew their perception was skewed. Of course, it was often alienating and isolating to download sometimes as a kid. I can’t pretend young me was never affected. It’s important to note, much of these lyrics come from the perspective of a child, not an adult. The east side’s outsider reputation didn’t negate the fact that I found many pockets of solace and my neighborhood friends reflected me. They really reflected me. Even growing up to be the weird, very goofy, passionate but sometimes very shy, alternative Black girl – obsessed with music, poetry, the arts, who still at heart just wanted to fit in. They didn’t judge me. In my neighborhood I also felt very pretty.

I’m not here to negate the things I shouldn’t have witnessed, experienced, or endured as a child either. Or to say everything was perfect, to particularly glamorize my upbringing or low income neighborhoods and households. It’s like this though: what do you really know of a place where you’re not from? Surface value, snippets, and assumptions. A part of town they were otherwise entirely unfamiliar with – tourists. 

When driving age came around, I only had like two friends from school who wanted to or even offered to take me home, pick me up, drop me off or come over to hang. Some of them blamed it on just being too far. I internalized a bit of shame and embarrassment over the years. To avoid awkward dialogue or more shame I would often lie and tell my friends my brother is coming to pick me up and walk to the nearest city bus stop, no matter how far, that wasn’t in plain sight so I could hide and no one would see me waiting. At one point I began to not even offer any friends to come hang at my spot. There came a time where my high school best friend Rach was the only person I was comfortable with in my space and who I felt free of judgment. My family treated her like a daughter too.

Back to tourists: people who aren’t from the east side but judged it. Tourists being those who only made temporary trips. Tourists being the people, strangers and ones I knew, who took pride in collectively shitting on and denouncing where I lived. The double entendre of growing up somewhere with tourist attractions – primarily a gorgeous, grand Great Lake with thirteen miles of beaches and a state park. There were many parts of the east side that weren’t deemed appealing, suitable, interesting or “shiny” enough for literal tourists to travel to and check out either.

To me, my blocks were rich in culture and shaped who I am. And culture that much of suburbia children shitted on and often later copied and cosplayed. Now, I was a kid who could typically handle my own, but I definitely got made fun of when I first transferred schools for a couple years. The FUBU, the Kangol, the Forces, the Phat Farm and Baby Phat, the air brushed Tweety Bird tees, Ecko, the acid washed and airbrushed jeans, the Guess jeans repeated logo, Rocawear  – a lot of those motherfuckers did not get it at all and they still don’t! On the low,  I was dripped as a grade school kid. I got my love of fashion and clothes from my mother. I was always down to experiment and try something new. Any time I wasn’t, I was trying to fit in like teenagers do. Them kids did get one thing out of me though –  I stopped wearing Forces.