#and when I’m outside in public/around my housemates/people are over

[herawell]

.

[i-still-mask-because]

ok so i read a lot of things from other Covid conscious people about masking as community care and why it’s important to steer the conversation away from individualism, and I really do believe in that, and I worry so much about the people I see who don’t wear masks or take covid precautions

BUT i’m also absolutely petrified of developing any other health conditions because I already have several (not immune related & they don’t make me super high risk for covid) chronic pain/disabilities and i can barely deal with them as it is. & i feel like because i mask around literally everyone including housemates, there’s such a low risk of me passing anything on to other people that i don’t really need to worry about it? which only kind of makes sense so i try to check that thought when it comes up

I’m worried that my Covid precautions are just coming from a place of individualism anyways and maybe if I really cared about community care as much as i should, I wouldn’t be so focused on my own personal health?

and sometimes i feel like i’m “better” than my friends who won’t mask Anywhere (except in a car with me bc i asked them to) but if it’s all just coming from self-preservation, i worry i’m just as bad. (& obviously this is nuanced too, like i’m trying to talk to them abt this and understand their points of view in a way that makes space for them to join me in being covid-conscious but it’s arguably not accomplishing shit. too early to tell)

sorry this is very longg but basically i’m just wondering if you have any advice or thoughts on that, & how to be less individualist in my covid safety? thank u for everything you do on this blog, it means so much to me <3

Hey there 👋🏾

I don't think it's individualist if the main reason you mask is for self-preservation. There's a lot of people that are masking because they need to for their own self-preservation. And that doesn't make the choice to mask a self-centered, every-man-for-himself decision. It's just self-preservation, which is necessary. I'd rather hang out with someone that's masking because they know they cannot risk another covid infection over someone that dropped masking because, "It is what it is man, I just wanna live my life!". I think the fact that you want to survive is important, and you should give yourself credit for that. And from the outside looking in, you going out in public with a mask is community care in and of itself because there's without a doubt someone that needed the protection you're giving them.

In regards to you feeling like you're better than your friends; I honestly get it. I don't necessarily think I'm more superior than anyone for masking, but I get the feeling of feeling proud of myself for still staying strong in keeping up masking despite all the odds and alienation. And I get feeling good about being well-informed and prepared. You mentioned that you've been trying to get them on the same page as you, but it's been feeling like pulling teeth; I absolutely get how you're feeling. If you feel like this is impacting the way you perceive your friends, I think taking time to sit with and process the kind of dynamic you want with your friends could be helpful, and working from there. I wish I could suggest some covid-cautious counselors who may also understand for you to talk to, but I'm really not sure of anyone right now 😭 (if someone happens to know, please feel free to share!)

Anyone else is free to share their thoughts and suggestions, of course!

[hpimaginesandblurbs]

Can I request a oneshot of Tom Riddle with a Ravenclaw girlfriend who all the boys stare at and maybe Tom overhears some Slythern boys talking dirty about his girlfriend so Tom fucks his girlfriend in the common room one. Night knowing the boys can hear.

pairing: young!tom riddle x ravenclaw!reader 

warning(s): 18+, praise, semi-public sex (people can totally hear), fingering

word count: 1.1k

a/n: as hot as i think this concept is, i can’t help but feel bad for those baby first years who were possibly subjected to this haha. i’d like to think tom would be smart enough to put up some silencing charms around everyone else’s room so you can think what you want. 

Tom let you into the empty Slytherin common room with a smirk. It was quiet and empty, just as one would expect it to be this late at night. It had been a cold, long walk from the Ravenclaw Tower down to the dungeons, but Tom had promised you it would be worth it. 

“How was your walk?” He asked politely, leading you over to the ornate leather couch by the fire. 

“Long,” you replied shortly, eager to know why you were even here in the first place. 

He looked over at you, an eyebrow raised, basically daring you to keep up your attitude. 

“Do you know why I asked you to come down here, darling?” He asked, guiding your body until you were laying on the couch beneath him. 

“I have a pretty good idea,” you told him cheekily, moving your robes to the side to reveal your skimpy matching pajama sets, a set you knew was one of his favorite.  

“Is that why you wore that skimpy skirt today? You wanted me to bend you over and fuck you in the hall like the filthy whore you are?” He asked darkly, his lips grazing your jaw as he leaned in close. 

“Just wanted to dress pretty for you,” you explained, the nerves beginning to set in due to his tone. 

That morning as you were getting dressed, you thought it would be a great idea to dress a little sexier than usual. Just a little something to catch your boyfriend’s eye from across the Great Hall during breakfast and lunch. A means to distract him in the classes he shared with you. But now you were beginning to feel as if your plan had royally backfired. 

“I appreciate that, but I already know how pretty you are, darling. You did, however, catch the attention of my housemates,” he said, pulling back to look you in the eye now. 

You could see the fire held behind his pupils. The absolute boiling rage he was feeling, but it wasn’t necessarily directed at you. No, this seemed to be directed at his friends. 

“What do you mean?” You asked shyly, a blush coming to your cheeks as you thought of all the possible outcomes of his words. 

“Let’s just say they had quite a few ideas for what they’d do with a whore like you. Some of their ideas were rather creative. And because of your little outfit, they all want you desperately.” 

“I- I didn’t mean- Tom- I’m sorry,” you stuttered out, now fully understanding your misstep and very unsure about where he’d go with this. 

“Hush, darling. I know,” he chuckled, pressing his body close over yours and placing a sweet kiss on your forehead to calm you. “But now you have to be a very good girl for me. Do you think you can do that?” 

“Anything,” you replied easily, just wanting to make up for what he had to listen to his friends say about you. 

He only raised a smug brow before capturing your lips in a heated kiss, quickly building your arousal until you were snaking your arms around him and bringing his body as close to yours as possible. Both sets of robes came off quickly enough, but he left you both partially clothed. Being in the common room always came with the risk of a straggler coming in in the middle of the night. 

In almost no time, he had two fingers buried deep inside of you. His skilled fingers worked over your g-spot effortlessly, whimpers falling from your lips. 

“I know you can be louder than that, little one. Let me hear you,” he commanded, his fingers practically dragging the sounds out of you. 

A blush came to your cheeks as you let out a loud moan, sure that someone had heard you. 

“Good girl. Just like that. Cum on my fingers,” he said as he played with your body, bringing you closer and closer to the edge with every small movement. 

Soon you were releasing with a short cry, doing exactly as he wanted. You chest heaved, trying to suck in as much air as possible as he re positioned himself in between your legs, not even giving you enough room to recover from your first orgasm before he was trailing the tip of his cock along your slit. 

“Tom, fuck,” you whimpered, still reeling from the sensitivity. 

“That’s it, say my name. Let everyone know who this pretty pussy belongs to,” he praised, rolling his hips into yours in one long thrust. 

You back arched from the stretch as a moan fell from your lips. You had forgotten where you were in the moment, trapped in a bubble that was just you and Tom. You were quickly brought back to the moment when you saw the smirk on his face, getting exactly as he wanted. He wanted you to be loud, to let out every whorish moan for his friends to hear. To show them exactly who you belonged to. 

If it were anyone else, the blatant possessiveness may have put you off, but Tom was Tom and everything he did was deliciously addictive. 

He fucked you just the way you liked, doing anything and everything in his arsenal of tricks to get you to make as much noise as possible. And whatever he was doing was working, because the noises were coming out before you could stop them. You were sure from an outside perspective you sounded obscene, but the things that man did to your body and mind could never be explained. 

“You’re being so good for me. Let them hear you. Let them know your mine,” he said between his own groans, only egging you on. 

“Tom, fuck. I’m so close,” you moaned, growing louder and louder as the minutes passed. 

He could feel your body tensing beneath him, your walls beginning to flutter around his cock in a way that made his own head spin. You were the perfect girl for him, and he just wanted everyone to know, particularly his depraved friends, that you were his and his alone. 

“Cum on my cock, Y/N. Scream for me,” he commanded, his lips coming down to suck in a spot that always made you weak. 

With one final thrust, you did exactly as he wanted. You came with a scream of his name, unable to help yourself anymore. He fucked you through your orgasm even as he reached his, your noises not ceasing until he stilled inside of you, both of you gasping for breath. 

When he looked down at you fondly, you couldn’t help but give him a genuine smile in return. Despite what had just happened and the amount of trouble you were both sure to get in you couldn’t help but be content. 

Being content in knowing that you were his and his alone. 

[ggukbabyy]

bro... idk about the whole plot of the drabble but it definitely should have some sexual tension going on but i'm not talking about a quick tension, you know... it could take hours or days idk i feel like you would kill it

“No, never,” you comment with a small shake of your head. Taehyung looks indignant.

“Everyone has done something outside of the bedroom at some point.”

You simply shake your head. “Not me.” Your eyes flick to Jeongguk briefly, his gaze drilling holes into the side of your face. He leans forward, forearms resting on the table.

“You’ve never needed someone so badly you couldn’t wait?” His voice is deep and husky, a hidden implication giving his words weight. You hold his gaze.

“The waiting is the fun part.” The corner of his mouth forms a faint smirk.

“That’s where we’ll have to disagree,” he replies, holding your eyes as he takes a long pull from his drink. Everyone breaks off into different conversations, the intrigue of your reluctance to perform sexual acts in a public space no longer the most interesting thing to discuss. Jeongguk appears to be the only one not ready to let it go.

You sit opposite him in the pub, enough people occupying the space that the din of background conversation makes it hard for others to hear as Jeongguk leans across the table once again.

“Do you really believe that? About waiting?” You’re not quite sure why he’s so interested but you entertain his line of questioning.

“100 percent,” you reply without hesitation and Jeongguk nods slowly as he considers your answer.

“You don’t think the desperation to have someone near you, in you, there and then is fun? How is that not better than waiting?” His eyebrows are drawn together in skepticism. He can’t for the life of him understand how you could enjoy waiting. It’s disheartening to hear when he’s spent the better part of the night trying to figure out a plan that would get you to follow him into the toilets. You’ve been acquaintances for about 4 months and he’s spent an embarrassingly large proportion of his time in your company thinking of all the different ways he’d like to spend his time with you if he could get you alone. And not for one second would he want to wait.

“I enjoy the anticipation,” you begin, moving to mirror his position. Jeongguk gets a wonderful eyeful of cleavage and he takes his time appreciating it.

“Wanting it so desperately and knowing you can’t have it now makes it all the better when it does happen.” For most of the sentence Jeongguk is picturing his dick between your tits so he only half hears what you say.

“Anticipation doesn’t change shit,” replies Jeongguk, leaning slightly closer. A small smile plays across your face, head tilted to the side slightly.

“It’s my favourite,” your voice has turned sultry, the alcohol muddling Jeongguk’s brain preventing him from noticing the change immediately. “The person is so close and not close enough, almost touching where you want and you could scream in frustration because two centimeters to the left and it would feel so fucking good, but they make you wait,” your voice is soft and captivating; even with everything happening around Jeongguk you’re the only one he can hear. His whole body feels jittery yet he’s glued to the spot, his chest beginning to rise and fall just a little deeper as you draw the perfect picture for him. “And wait some more, until I could cry, until I’m begging for the slightest touch or kiss in just the right place, so desperate and needy.” The switch from describing a situation to talking about yourself doesn’t go unnoticed by Jeongguk. In fact, it makes the room seem a little hotter, his pants feel a little tighter, his brain seems a little more clouded as he tries to focus on anything but the sounds you’d make as you beg or the words you’d say to get what you wanted from him. Saliva pools in his mouth at the thought of you spread below him close to tears with desperation. Your eyes are alive and wild yet the rest of your face is the picture of innocence and he’s not sure how much more he can take. You’re inching closer to his face across the table as you speak.

“But you don’t like waiting, do you Jeongguk?” You ask and he can faintly feel the warmth of your breath against his lips from this distance. He swallows thickly.

“You don’t want to keep me waiting, don’t like the idea of making me beg for it? For you?” You add on innocently, eyebrows raised as though you’d asked a perfectly simple, appropriate question. Jeongguk can barely form a coherent sentence with his head so full of everything you’ve just said. You stay there leaning on the table for a few more seconds, Jeongguk’s eyes flicking down to your lips, the air around you both suffocating and heavy. You grin widely before leaning back into your chair triumphantly. Jeongguk’s eyes are clouded with arousal, not trying to hide where your words have taken him and his reluctance to return to the real world. By the time he does you’ve moved on to a conversation with Jimin, giggling at his shit jokes. You don’t look Jeongguk’s way once for the rest of the night and it drives him insane.

-----

Two weeks later and you’re at Jimin’s place for a barbecue with a friend. Only Jimin’s housemates are Yoongi and Jeongguk, and no one told Jeongguk you were coming over. Ever since the night at the pub, Jeongguk has fantasised about you more than he would care to admit - even to himself. More than a few times his hand wandered south with pictures of you flashing behind his eyelids, replaying the conversation you’d had over and over, vividly picturing you doing the things you’d described. So when he walks out of the patio doors into the garden to see you laid across a towel on the floor, the smallest bikini he has ever witnessed wrapped around your body, to describe his feelings as shocked is a gross understatement. From his vantage point he can watch you while you remain none the wiser, so he takes the precious time to appreciate everything that you are. Your legs go on for miles and are toned to perfection, your tits fill out your bikini with some left to spill over the side and yearning burns deep in his stomach to have his lips against the smooth flesh, dragging his tongue leisurely across your nipple. Images of you begging for him flash violently across his mind, and he’s itching to return to his bedroom for a few minutes. But then you turn over and notice him, a lazy grin creeping slowly across your mouth.

“Can I help you?” You ask innocently, eyes dancing with amusement at having caught Jeongguk staring. He saunters over to you, arms braced behind him as he sits down.

“You’re in my garden, I should be asking you that question.” Your eyes are glued on the way his biceps tense to support his weight. It should be illegal for Jeongguk to walk around shirtless, even if it is the height of summer. For the sake of your own sanity he should walk around in a full wetsuit - but you’re sure he’d manage to make that look sexy. His broad chest is on full display, the golden skin pulled taut against the toned muscles of his abdomen. Your eyes continue their journey down his stomach, thoughts swirling at the dusting of hair beneath his belly button, following it down until it disappears beneath his shorts.

“Are you nearly done?” Amusement drips from his words as you pull your eyes from their pleasant detour. You fight desperately to keep the heat from your face.

“Almost.” Jeongguk’s tongue pokes the side of his cheek at your answer. He’s used to girls fawning over him, melting into a puddle of shy giggles and doting compliments. Not this. The idea of having you begging beneath him becomes more and more appealing the more you demonstrate all the ways you need to be taught a lesson.

Both of you bask in the heat of the sun in silence, music drifting out from the kitchen, Yoongi’s contagious laughter bringing a smile to your face. Surreptitiously you peek one eye open, looking sideways at Jeongguk. The perfect definition of his jaw is showcased with the way his head is tilted towards the sun, little beads of sweat developing at his temples and clinging to the nape of his neck.

“You should really put suncream on,” you state, shutting your eye before he can catch you again.

“Are you offering?” His tone is bored but excitement thrills through his chest.

“Not really.” Jeongguk fights the smile threatening to reveal itself.

“If I end up burning, it'll be all your fault,” Jeongguk complains, and when you say nothing in return, his arms buckle under his weight dramatically, his back thudding against the grass.

“I can feel the blisters forming already,” he groans, rocking side to side. You suppress chuckles as you watch his performance.

“Unngh,” he groans, turning his head to look at you, a fake pained expression pulling against his features. “I need you to put suncream on me,” he whines, “please.” His lips jut into a pout.

“Only because you asked so nicely,” you reply with an eye roll, Jeongguk all but ignoring it as a delighted grin lights up his face.

While you grab the cream, Jeongguk arranges himself into his original position, a satisfied smile gracing his plump lips as he basks in both his small victory and the heat of the sun. His smile vanishes, eyes snapping open, when he feels the cool of a shadow passing across him only to be faced with you straddling his lap. Your expression is the picture of innocence, eyes wide, head tilted, soft lips slightly parted as you hold to bottle of cream in one hand expectantly, but a flicker of wickedness flashes across your eyes, there one second and gone so quickly Jeongguk could almost convince himself that you’re clueless to the effect your close proximity has on him. But the way your back arches into him gives you away.

Jeongguk hisses a breath through his teeth at the first contact of the suncream against his warm skin and you giggle. There’s no hint of amusement on his face. Having you so close and yet unable to touch you has his mind reeling and frustration bubbling like acid in the pit of his stomach. You smell incredible, sweet and floral, and your hands are delicate as they roam his chest and stomach, eyes completely focused on the task at hand. He sighs deeply as he lets himself become lost in the way you touch him, the way your hands rove confidently, traversing low enough to have him forcing down the urge to buck his hips against you.

Nothing in the world is going to pull your gaze from the path your hands trace against Jeongguk’s skin. From his broad shoulders and collarbones you would be happy to drag your tongue across, to your palm grazing his nipple, noting the muscle in his jaw jumping at the contact. Down, down, down his stomach as low as his shorts allow, over his hips and waist. All amusement has vanished as your fingers explore. Jeongguk’s breathing is deep as you toy with the waistband of his shorts, slipping the tip of your finger just underneath. He’s watching you like a hawk, nostrils flaring as he wills you to just reach down, give him the look so he can take you upstairs and show you there’s no fun in waiting. Instead you raise your eyes to his and breathe out, “I need to do your arms.”

He shifts his weight forward, one arm held out for you, the other sliding around your body, hand resting gently on your arse. Raising your eyebrows questioningly at the placement, Jeongguk simply shrugs, a devilish smile flashing at you.

“What’s the matter, darling?” His deep voice questions. You forego a reply, squeezing cream directly onto his arm. He watches your face with delight as you continue.

“Turn around so I can do your back,” your voice is barely above a whisper. Having him so close for so long is starting to prove difficult. You can’t get your thoughts away from his hands, how strong and big they are in your own, how they’d wrap perfectly around your neck or how easy it would be for Jeongguk to prod and massage your g-spot until you were exhausted from overstimulation. It hasn’t slipped your notice that he’s been getting progressively harder beneath you, every inch of him pushing against your core. It’s getting hard to breathe, hard to look him in the eye - he relishes every second of your struggle with a cocky grin. His eyes are heavy and clouded with arousal and he drags his gaze leisurely down your body and back again.

“I’m sure you can reach from here, darling.” The determined look in your eye has Jeongguk chuckling. The action of reaching your hands over his shoulders and down his back has your chest pushing into his face and a small groan rumbles in Jeongguk’s throat. Your stomach burns with desire at the sound, a desperate need to hear the sound over and over, louder and then whispered into your ear, claws mercilessly at your insides, threatening to suffocate you. Without thinking you push your hips down in an effort to garner some friction against your swollen clit. The manoeuver doesn’t go unnoticed.

Jeongguk’s mind is blank. Your arse is pushing back into his palms, his fingers massaging the supple flesh delicately. With your tits so close to his face he determines it would be criminal if he doesn’t lean forward just a little more. His hair tickles your cheek as he moves, his nose brushing your chest as he gets closer. He flattens his tongue against the swell of your breast, licking a stripe against your glowing skin before sinking his teeth into you. A small gasp escapes your lips, hips rutting against him of their own accord. He groans again, using his hands to push you into him harder, desperation and frustration intermingling at the clothing separating your pussy from his bare skin. He pulls back to look up at you, the muscles of his jaw jumping as he restrains himself. Your lips are so close, both of your chests rising and falling rapidly, each waiting to see what the other will do, the atmosphere suffocating as the tension rises. Jeongguk’s gaze is intense and his eyes flick briefly down to your lips, his intentions and desires clear.

“Come to my room.” His voice is gravelly and shoots heat directly to where you need his touch the most. “Let me touch you, make you feel so good, princess.”

“We can’t,” you whisper back, lacking conviction.

“Why not?” Whines Jeongguk.

“Everyone will see and they’ll know.” It’s a feeble excuse and your resolve to stick with it is crumbling quickly.

“I’ll happily fuck you out here if that’s what you’d prefer.” Your cheeks flame at the idea. “It would be easy,” he continues, mind so consumed with you and his need to have you as close as possible. His fingers skim the apex of your thigh, toying with the edge of your bikini. “I’d just have to pull this to the side and then I’d see your pretty pussy, but I bet you have a tight cunt, couldn’t take my cock all at once.” Your core clenches reflexively at his words and you know you’re absolutely fucked.

“Come to my room,” he states, moving your hips over his with his hands. You smile devilishly, leaning forward until your lips almost brush.

“I’m sure you can wait a little bit longer.”

an; so i clearly don't know the meaning of the word drabble and you said i'd kill it so the perfectionism took over and i couldn't stop until i thought it was good

[procrastinatingnerd]

Hi everyone! So this was my first time taking part in the @osemanversebigbang but I had so much fun!! I can't wait to read everyone's entries! 💜

Title: Angel Rahimi And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Lunch Break

Characters: Angel, Juliet, Rowan, Jimmy, Lister, Bliss, two of Angel’s future uni friends (OCs).

Spoilers? Minor spoilers of important events in “I Was Born For This”.

Word Count: 3.6k

Ships: Bicci, one joke about Juliet/Rowan.

~Joan of Arc (Probably)

“I am so fucking tired”

“Right, time’s up, put your pens down.” The exam officer says from the front of the room. I scribble one last sentence before my hand gives out, and I all but throw my pen onto the desk, sighing as dramatically as I can. This week is a fucking nightmare. Exams and assignments are the piss. Fuck uni, I’m ready to drop out. Or drop dead. Either works, honestly.

As I leave the exam hall, I walk past some people from the students’ union. They’re handing out flyers for the Christmas ball next week. My housemates are all planning on going, but my friends and I planned our present swap for that night, so we’re going to spend it eating a fuck ton of snacks and watching the cheesiest Christmas films we can find. I can’t wait, I bought them each a bag of their favourite sweets from the American candy shop, it's going to be so much fun!

But that’s next week. Right now, all I want is to sit at a table that doesn’t have an exam paper on it, and eat something very greasy and very unhealthy. There’s a pizza place just on the edge of campus, run by some of the culinary arts students, and they make the best sauce ever. It’s pretty cheap too, which makes it a favourite for most people, especially at the end of a semester, when everyone’s bank accounts are running low.

I have about an hour until I need to be back in the exam hall, so I take full advantage of the outdoor seating and collapse into a chair after ordering. My pizza is brought out to me not long after, and I breathe in the smell. Nothing has smelt more gorgeous than the slices sitting in front of me. It’s a surprisingly warm day, for December at least, and for a moment, everything feels calm. I can hear a bird singing in a tree somewhere, other students are hanging around campus, most with their noses in their phones or in textbooks, and I actually let myself relax for a bit. I’ve done all the revision I can for this next exam, and I’m in desperate need of a break. I deserve this.

I pick up my first slice of pizza, and bring it up to my mouth. As I’m about to take a bite, however, my phone rings. I put the pizza down with a sigh and answer the phone without looking at who’s calling. Mum probably sensed I wasn’t doing any work, and is calling to check up on me.

“Hello?” I say tiredly.

“Angel, hi! Is this a good time??” I grin at the sound of Juliet’s voice.

“Hell yeah, it’s a perfect time! What’s up?”

“Wait, you don’t know why I’m calling?” Juliet says hesitantly. Shit. What have I forgotten now? I know it’s not her birthday. Wait, is it mine?? I swear exams rot your brain, have I actually forgotten my own birthday?

“No…?” I ask after internally monologuing for way too long.

“Oh my god, you don’t know??” Juliet screeches in my ear, “Angel go look at your phone, it’s urgent!”

Now very concerned, I put Juliet on speaker and, for the first time all morning, actually read the notifications filling my lock screen. I open the Twitter news one, and my mouth drops open in shock.

“Holy shit.”

On my screen is a news article with a headline that reads, “THE ARK’S JIMMY KAGA-RICCI AND LISTER BIRD’S SECRET RELATIONSHIP EXPOSED”, and just below it sits a large photo of Jimmy and Lister, standing outside a pub, kissing. I don’t believe it.

“Holy fu- Hold on a second. Mate, isn’t that the pub by Piero’s house?!” I say, bringing my phone as close to my face as I can, as if that’ll help me see better. There’s a loud shuffling noise on the other end of the line, and then I hear a gasp.

“Oh my god, you’re right!” Juliet says. “Rowan said they were going on holiday, but I thought he meant abroad or something.” I smile at that. Ever since our little jaunt to Kent last summer, Juliet and I have kept in touch with the boys. We even have a group chat now; us and them and even Bliss is in it. I’m so glad we stayed friends.

At first, Rowan was really quiet, and if he did speak he and Juliet would almost always end up arguing, but they’ve been getting along quite well lately. I’m not saying I ship it or anything, I’ve learnt my lesson there, but I have to say, fangirl-to enemies-to lovers would make a wicked fanfiction trope.

“Did you see any of this coming?” Juliet continues. “Surely Jimmy would have said something to you?”

“He said he was dating someone, but didn’t want to give details because they were taking things slow. Well, that and that celebrity phone hacking scandal freaked him right the fuck out, remember?” I say.

"That's

right, he stopped talking on the group chat for like two weeks, didn’t he?” Juliet giggles back. “Well, nevertheless, I’m happy for them. They’re cute together.”

“Yeah, they are.” I grin again. “Oh my god, poor Rowan though! I’d hate to live with a couple, especially a new one! It’d be nauseating.”

“Oh I know, right? And imagine what’ll happen when they have their first fight!” Juliet gasps again. I shudder at the thought.

“I’m muting the group chat when that happens.” I joke.

“Not a bad idea.” Juliet laughs back, then pauses. “Oh, Angel, I’m sorry I’ve got the get going, but do you want to skype later?”

“Yeah, no problem! I’ve got a revision session at 6, but I should be free by 9ish?”

“Sounds perfect! See you then!” Juliet says, and with that, she’s gone, and I’m back to sitting alone with my pizza.

Jimmy and Lister. Holy shit. I don’t think anyone in the fandom saw this coming. Everything has been about Jowan, since the fandom started growing it’s the only ship that ever existed. No one bothered writing fics about any other pairings. The only Jimmy/Lister fics I ever came across were platonic ones, and even they made sure to mention Jimmy’s boyfriend Rowan.

Oh god, I hope they’re okay. The fans got so crazy when Bliss and Rowan’s relationship was exposed. Jimmy/Lister is the final nail in the Jowan coffin. Jimmy must be having the panic attack of his life! I’ve got to-

My phone rings again.

I look down at the screen, and see Jimmy’s name. I take a deep breath, and answer.

“Jimmy, hi! How are-”

“Have you seen it??”

“Yes.”

“Oh god. This isn’t how we wanted to tell you guys.”

“You sure? Because getting caught by the national press worked so well for you last time.” I tease. Silence. Oops, probably not the best thing to remind him of right now.

“Jimmy, you still there?” I say carefully. There’s a slight rustle on his end, which means he probably just nodded. “Everything is going to be fine, I promise. The fans will move on. They already did with Jowan, right?”

“But what if something happens again? Something like-”

“It won’t. You guys have better security now, and you’re doing less public events. You’re going to be fine.” I hope and pray that I’m saying the right things. Jimmy and I have gotten close lately, but I’m nowhere near as good at helping him deal with his anxiety as Rowan and Lister are. There’s more silence, until finally, Jimmy speaks again.

“Okay. Yeah. Yeah I think you’re right. Thanks, Angel.”

“Course I’m right! If there’s one thing I know, it’s fandom drama.” Jimmy laughs, and I grin back. “And don’t forget, you’re not alone in this. This is happening to Lister too, and no doubt Rowan and Bliss will be there to help you. Just talk to them.”

“Thank you Angel, I’ll go do that now.”

“Perfect! Love you Jim, I’ll text you later.” I say, and the call ends.

He’ll be okay. He’s got too many people who love him not to be. I take another breath and put my phone down on the table. As soon as I do, however, it buzzes again, and I see Jimmy is trying to facetime me. Now very concerned, I answer it and hold the phone up so he can see my face properly.

“Jimmy, are you okay, what’s happened??” I ask anxiously, but he looks fine. He looks at me with a confused expression.

“Nothing, I’m just talking to the others, like you said.” He says. It’s only me and him on the call. I stare at him in silence for a moment.

“Jimmy, mate… I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not any of them” I say slowly, and to my surprise, Jimmy laughs.

“Yeah I know, but I was kind of hoping to have you here, too, if that’s okay?” He says sheepishly. “It’s okay if you’re busy, it’s just that… I don’t know, you’re good with this stuff and you make me feel calm? Sorry, I know that’s a lot to just dump on you.” Jimmy doesn’t look at me directly, and I start to feel tears in my eyes.

“Well damn, Jim, I guess if you truly love me that much, I can stick around for a bit.” I laugh, and quickly glance at the time. “My lunch break is only halfway over, anyway, so I have plenty of time to hang out while you talk to the others.”

Jimmy seems to let out a breath, like he’d been holding it, and grins.

Just as I’m about to start talking again, I hear a ping, and Lister’s face appears on screen, followed by Rowan and Bliss.

“Hey Jimjam, you okay?” Rowan asks, looking as calm as ever. “Oh hey Angel.” He adds. I give him an awkward smile.

“Wait, Angel's here?” Bliss interrupts before Jimmy can answer. “Nice, how’s the week from hell going? Didn’t think we’d hear from you until you’d made it through.”

“Yeah it’s rough, but I’m getting there. This is a welcome distraction though.” I grin at her.

“So you’ve seen the pictures then. They look good, right?” Lister chimes in, before correcting himself. “I mean, it’s horrible they found us, fucking pricks, but you’ve got to admit we look good.”

“You can be so self-centred sometimes.” Bliss laughs.

“Come on Lister, this isn’t a joke.” Rowan chides him.

“Well, I guess he isn’t wrong..” Jimmy mumbles nervously and I see him smile a bit.

“See, Jimmy agrees with me!” Lister argues back at Rowan, who rolls his eyes.

“It’s still not something to laugh about.” Rowan says firmly. “Cecily’s already on damage control, cancelling some events, beefing up the security at others, and giving the tabloids hell. She’s also let your grandad know, Jimmy.”

“Wait, aren’t you guys all down there already?” I ask, confused.

“Nah we got back last night. That picture was taken when we went out for lunch the other day. Took their time printing it.” Lister says.

“Probably needed time to pad out their articles. Seriously, how can they write so many pages about two people dating?” Bliss adds.

“Probably whining about how Jowan is now well and truly dead.” Rowan rolls his eyes again. “Although I have to say, I’m pretty happy about that part.” I cringe slightly as he says that. I will never not regret being one of the Jowan fangirls.

“So Cecily’s already got a plan? That’s good, that’s a bit of a relief.” Jimmy speaks up, looking visibly more relaxed than he had sounded over the phone earlier.

“Yeah she’s got it sorted, so we can start planning our Christmas party!” Lister says, making the others groan.

“Lister what the hell makes you think we should be throwing a massive fucking party right now?!” Rowan says, his voice growing louder. Lister goes quiet, looking like he wants to shrink into his seat, before eventually speaking up again.

“Look, it doesn’t have to be anything big, I just mean… Angel, you’re gonna be in London with Juliet, right? Come over, drag Bliss with you, Jimmy can invite his grandad, Rowan you can bring Jade, and there you go, that’s our party!”

“That’s...actually a good idea.” Rowan says, surprised.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun!” Jimmy adds.

“I’m up for it, Angel, do you think Juliet will wanna come?” Bliss says.

“Hell yeah she would, let’s do it!” I reply with a massive smile on my face. Partying with Bliss and the boys sounds like the best way to spend my Christmas London trip. I’ll make sure to tell Juliet about it when I talk to her later. As I start planning all the food I’m going to bring over, and wondering what the boys’ flat will look like at Christmas, the conversation starts up again.

“You sure you’re doing alright, Jimmy? I can come back home if you need me to.” Rowan says, focusing things on the issue at hand again.

“No no, don’t worry, stay with your family. They’d kill me if I made you miss out on spending time with them.” Jimmy jokes. “I’ve got Lister here, and Cecily’s number if I need it. My head isn’t giving me too much grief right now, anyway.”

“Wait, Lister, you’re there with him?” Bliss asks.

“Yeah, check it out!” Lister says, before picking up his phone and moving. He takes us out of what I think was his room, through a hallway and comes out into a large living room, where we can see Jimmy on a sofa looking at his phone. “Say hi to the chat, Jim!”

Everyone laughs as Jimmy gives an awkward wave to Lister’s phone. Lister then hangs up and launches himself into view of Jimmy’s screen, and the two shuffle about until they’re practically sitting on top of each other, faces

squished together so the tiny phone camera captures them both. I hate how cute they look together.

“Alright, if you’re sure, Jimmy,” Rowan says, smiling for probably the first time this whole call.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Jimmy smiles back. “This whole situation is terrifying, and I’m more than ready to hide in my room and not see another mad fangirl for the rest of my life, but... if I did that we’d never get to hang out with Angel again.” He finishes, biting his lip as if unsure of whether or not the joke will hit.

“Uh..ouch!” I clap my hand on top of my heart dramatically and laugh, while the others join in. “I’ll have you know I’ve abandoned my fangirl ways. Mostly. Sort of. Okay, not completely but I’m not shipping real people anymore, so that’s something, right?!”

Lister is giving Jimmy a look of what I can only assume is pride for making a decent joke during a time of peak anxiety, Rowan has his head in his hands, probably contemplating his life choices now that Lister seems to be rubbing off on Jimmy, and Bliss still looks shocked that such a joke came out of Jimmy’s mouth, not Lister’s. When things calm down again, I check the time and speak up again.

“Well this has been fun Jim, but I’m afraid I have mad fangirl duties to be getting back to. Shrines to build, fanfiction to write, you know how it is.” I say sarcastically.

“Thanks again, Angel, for being here, and listening. And you’d better be right about that fandom drama.” Jimmy laughs again, although this time I see his smile falter a bit.

“Hey, look at me,” I say, moving as close to the screen as I can without squishing my face on it. “Things will settle down before you know it, in the meantime, we’re all here for you. You’re not alone in this.” Rowan and Bliss nod in agreement, and I see Lister hug Jimmy closer. Jimmy takes a breath and nods as well.

“Thanks Angel. And good luck with your exam. We’ll see you over the holidays.” He smiles.

“Yeah you got this Angel, go smash it!” Bliss chimes in, giving me a thumbs up and a grin. I say one last goodbye to them all, and hang up.

I look back down at my pizza, still uneaten. I need to stop letting myself get distracted during phone calls. I can eat and talk to my friends at the same time. I’m usually a master at it.

“Fereshteh!” I look up again. Either I’m going loony, or someone just said-

“FERESHTEH!” I turn around and see Mollie and Christina barrelling towards me, with the most excitement I’ve ever seen on a students’ face during exam season. They crash into my table and both start talking at once.

“Have you seen??”

“Did you know??”

“How long have they been together?!”

“Oh my god is this why you won’t tell us about what happened in Kent?!”

“Woah, easy on the interrogation! Seriously, you guys need to work on your interview skills.” I put my hands up in surrender and laugh. Mollie rolls her eyes at me.

“So? Did they tell you or what?” She asks again. I roll my eyes back at her.

“You know I don’t want to tell you guys anything about the boys. They trust me, and I’m not going to fuck that up because of some shit a tabloid prints.”

“How dare you appeal to our morality and ethics, we want gossip dammit!” Christina giggles, lightly banging her fist down on the table.

“Then stick to the Twitter pages.” I stick my tongue out at her. Mollie and Christina are two of my housemates, and are part of the Ark fandom. I never planned on telling them about Kent, but they figured out who I was thanks to the pictures of me and Jimmy on the train. I didn’t think you could tell it was me, but fangirls are like master detectives. They figured it out in less than a week. They haven’t told anyone though, they’re good mates.

“So how are you feeling about all of this? Whether you knew or not, having it out in the press like this is a lot to handle, especially after last time.” Mollie says, now in serious mode.

“It is a lot, definitely, but they’ll be fine. They’ve had this happen before and they know what to expect from the fans. I just wish I could be there for them.” I say, sitting back in my chair.

“I get

that, it must suck that you guys are so far apart now.” Christina chimes in.

“I mean it’s not like we ever lived close to each other before. The only reason we even crossed paths over the summer was because I was staying with a friend. But yeah, being away from them all is kind of hard sometimes.” I sigh dramatically, making Mollie and Christina grin.

“Are you going to visit them over Christmas?” Christina asks.

“I’m definitely going to visit my friend in London again, for a day or two, but I don’t know if we’ll be able to see the boys.” I quickly lie. “They cut back on public events but they’re still really busy most of the time. And this,” I gesture to my phone “definitely won’t help.”

“We’ll keep an eye on fandom updates for you, and try to shut any mentions of Jowan down,” Mollie says, reaching across the table and giving my hand a gentle squeeze. I squeeze hers back and give her a grateful smile. I mostly stopped interacting with the fandom after meeting the boys, reading fanfiction, and discussing theories with other fans just feels weird and creepy to do when the people you’re talking about are your friends. So it’s nice that I have Mollie and Christina looking out for them, and doing what I can’t. Christina has a pretty big following on Tumblr, and Mollie’s a Twitter ace, so I trust them to hold their ground with the fandom.

“Okay, you don’t have to give us any details, but genuinely, what do you think of Lister and Jimmy as a couple? Because I don’t think the fandom could handle a breakup.” Christina says after a while, making me laugh.

“Pfft, yeah I don’t think the boys could handle a breakup, either.” I smile. “But honestly? I think they’ll be good for each other. Lister is good at helping Jimmy relax and step out of his anxiety bubble, and Jimmy can help reign in Lister’s chaotic energy. Plus they’re freaking cute together, I mean just look at this picture!” I finish, gesturing dramatically to my phone again.

“They are so cute!” Mollie nods in agreement. “I’m actually shocked no one thought to ship them together before.”

“That’s the Jowan storm, for you,” Christina adds. “Can’t believe we ever shipped that.”

“So gross.” I shudder at the thought. Suddenly the alarm I’d set this morning went off, making us all jump.

“What’s that?” Mollie asks. I check the screen and practically leap out of my seat.

“Oh shit, my exam starts in 10 minutes!” I say, gathering my stuff up as quickly as I can. I say my goodbyes to Mollie and Christina and start running back across campus to the exam hall.

I make it just in time, much to the invigilator’s chagrin, check my bag in at the desk at the back of the hall, and collapse into my assigned seat. The exam starts, and it’s only when it does that my stomach reminds me that I never actually ate lunch. Shit.

I start to silently scold myself for being so stupid, when my mind starts drifting to the video chat with Jimmy and the others. He and Lister looked so comfortable with each other. Makes sense, they've known each other for so long. But even still, Jimmy looked so much happier once Lister sat down with him, and Lister himself practically seemed at home with Jimmy’s arms wrapped around him. I smile at my exam paper.

I’m so happy for them.

[bbangsoonie]

find me in your memory

member: sangyeon genre: angst word count: 10,200 synopsis: when you return to korea in hopes of recovering your lost memories, one of your new housemates seems oddly familiar. warning(s): inaccurate depiction of amnesia

Prologue:

You had locked yourself in a bathroom stall to run away from everyone’s obvious trying-not-to-stare glances. Your hand clenched around your phone as you stared at the top trending news article. Your father had officially announced his plans to advance his political career and alongside his name were the names of the rest of your family. Your mother, a renown actress. Your brother, a retired swimmer and a rising musician. And you, a rookie model who already walked in various fashion shows.

You were annoyed that your father chose today of all days to release the news. Today was White Day, meaning that boys were throwing you sweets left and right. You hated the extra attention and hated that you had to maintain elegance through it all. It was already bad enough that tonight was some fancy party your father arranged for the purpose of publicity and networking. You would be hiding under a mask all day and night now.

You sighed at the sound of the bell ringing to notify the students that lunch time was over. You dragged yourself out of the bathroom and braced yourself before you returned to your classroom.

People had already whispered about you in the hallways but your classroom erupted into full blown gossip. You heard guys discussing the news and girls expressing their jealousy.

“I guess the princess might actually become a princess now.” one girl said rather loudly. “Look at her. Pretending not to hear all of us. She must think we’re too lowly to even converse with.”

Her friend’s eyes widened at her bold outburst and tried to shush her.

“What? I’m not saying anything that isn’t true.” the girl freed herself from her friend’s grasp and blatantly stood in front of your desk. “Tell me, Y/n, am I wrong?”

You looked up to meet her eyes with a neutral expression. You wanted nothing more than to grab the opportunity to pick a fight with her. But you knew you would face repercussions with your parents so all you could do was force a small smile.

Before the girl could say something more, your homeroom teacher entered the room. Everyone quickly dispersed and found their seats.

“Y/n? Your father’s secretary is here to pick you up. You’ll be leaving school early today.” he said.

The statement prompted more hushed whispers as your classmates speculated the reason why you were being pulled out of class. Without a word, you grabbed your backpack and left. The secretary led you out of the building and into a black car.

You pulled out your phone and earbuds to accompany you for the ride. Closing your eyes, you rested your head on the window and increased the volume of your music. Your brother had sent you the guide for the song he was working on and asked for your opinion. You had grumpily agreed, slightly irked that he only contacted you for things like this.

You hated Younghoon for leaving you alone in this family. He was your father’s pride and joy when he was a national athlete. Granted, he was miserable his whole life pursuing swimming when all he wanted to do was sing. But still, you never expected him to suddenly retire and switch careers without confronting your parents. He simply packed up and left. Without a warning or explanation, he just moved out. By himself. Without you.

Now, all the burden of maintaining the family’s image was on you. You had been pushed into the modeling industry so your father could have a pretty face to marry off later on. However, with Younghoon leaving the sports scene, your father was furious that your entire family were all entertainers without higher aspirations. It was too late for you to learn a sport so now you were to get accepted into Seoul University’s business school. Your father insisted on having at least one socially respectable child.

Your brother spent the last couple of years cutting contact with the family. He refused to attend events or partake in promotional photoshoots. The only time you could ever see him was when he came to take the annual family portrait. That was the only duty he would now fulfill as the eldest son of the Kim family.

You hated him but you also couldn’t despise him. If your affection for him were to turn sour, you’d truly be alone in this world. Yet you were still upset every time your calls went to his voicemail and he replied with a text hours later to apologize. You knew he was busy making up for lost time but it still hurt that he was able to enjoy his freedom while you remained suffocated.

“Miss, we’ve arrived.” the secretary spoke.

You opened your eyes and saw that the car pulled up in front of a beauty salon. You sighed, realizing you would have to get your hair and makeup done. So you went, sitting in front of a mirror for hours as people hovered around you to make you presentable for the reporters that would welcome you with endless camera flashes. By the time they finished, you were given a white silky dress to wear. It was as if your parents wanted to send you off to get married right away.

Keeping your complaints to yourself, you got dressed and were rushed to the party. Your parents were already inside, meaning you had to face the cameras alone. Reporters shouted questions at you; the topics ranged from your outfit to your father’s political plans to your brother’s absence. Ignoring them all, you put on your capitalistic smile and posed. You then bid them goodbye and entered the venue.

It was packed with politicians and businessmen. You walked around, looking for the protagonist of this event. Your father had organized tonight under the guise of celebrating your mother’s upcoming film but the true celebration was the release of today’s news. He was here to garner support for his political campaign and he sure had a flamboyant way of doing it.

“My daughter!” you heard your mother’s voice call out.

You turned around and saw your mother beckoning you over. You put on another smile as you approached your parents. Your father pulled you in for a light hug and introduced you to the man in front of him.

“Y/n, this is Assemblyman Lee. We’ve grown quite close this past year. Assemblyman Lee, this is the daughter I’ve been bragging to you about. She’s even prettier in person, right?” he let out a hearty laugh.

You respectfully bowed and personally introduced yourself to the assemblyman.

“Yes, she is very beautiful indeed.” Assemblyman Lee agreed, joining his laughter. He then presented the tall male next to him. “This is my son, Juyeon. I believe he is the same age as you, Y/n.”

“He plays basketball and even modeled for Seoul Fashion Week.” your father mentioned. “Perhaps you’ve seen or heard of him before?”

“I think we may have passed by each other once or twice that day.” you smiled. To be honest, it was your first time meeting him.

“Assemblyman Lee and I get along like family and we were talking about becoming an actual family once you graduate college.” your father beamed.

Those words made your stomach drop. You knew you’d never get to choose your own partner but now that it was actually happening, you froze. Reality suddenly hit you like a truck. You were never going to have control over anything in your life. You were nothing but a pawn in your father’s journey to the Blue House.

You looked over at Juyeon who looked just as uncomfortable as you. This was the man who you were probably going to spend the rest of your life with and you had no idea what he was like. For all you knew, he could end up hating your guts. You felt panic taking over and excused yourself for an urgent visit to the bathroom.

Your vision was blurred as you quickly exited the ballroom and desperately searched for a private room. All you could think about was your brother.

Younghoon.

Younghoon.

Younghoon.

You needed him. His name was the only thing your brain could think of. You needed him to tell you that everything would be okay. That he would come save you. You knew it would be a lie but you needed to hear it anyway.

Once you found an unlocked storage room, your knees buckled and you fell to the floor. With trembling hands, you dialed your brother’s number and waited for him to pick up. You called him five times but only heard the line ring. Fighting back tears, you cursed him in your head.

You spent the next half hour trying to calm yourself down. Squatting down, you rocked back and forth with your hands covering your ears to block out the noise outside. Your hyperventilation was slowing and you weren’t struck by the fear of dying anymore. By the time you settled down, you felt numb.

With a solemn expression, you stepped out of the storage room. Avoiding the crowd, you wandered around until you found a back exit. Before you opened the door, however, you realized how much you’d stand out in your current attire. You called for the secretary and asked for one of your spare school uniforms. You changed into the blouse and skirt but left out the tie and jacket. Not having sneakers to change into, you kept your heels on.

You insisted that he return to the party and not follow you. You promised you’d be home by evening and shooed him away.

Now that you were finally free, you didn’t know where to go. School was already dismissed but the sun had yet to set. Without any plans, you just started walking. As you kept walking, you found yourself in front of your school.

You laughed in disbelief. Apparently this was the only place other than home that you knew. Finding yourself pathetic, you continued to walk up the path to the building.

The soccer team was still on the field practicing. You sat on a bench, watching them run and kick the ball around. You didn’t know a thing about the sport but found it oddly soothing to mindlessly stare.

After a while, you got tired of it and got up. You let your feet decide where to go next and ended up on the rooftop. The sky was now a golden color. You didn’t remember when you last saw such a view.

At that moment, your phone rang. It was Younghoon finally returning your missed calls. You stared at the screen, debating whether to pick up or not. By his second call, you decided to answer.

“Y/n! Is something wrong? Are you okay?” he asked as soon as you clicked “accept”.

You honestly didn’t know how to reply to his question. Looking back, you wondered if you had ever been “okay” in your life. Was this living or was this just enduring?

“I’m so sorry I missed your calls. I was at the recording studio.” he apologized. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” you lied. “I just missed you. A lot.”

You heard him let out a sigh of relief. Then his guilty voice.

“I miss you too.” he paused. “Listen, I’m extremely sorry for leaving you to deal with Father. I just… I couldn’t handle it anymore. I felt like I was gonna go insane. I could put up with everything but his demand to quit music. That was the last straw. It was the only bit of freedom I ever enjoyed and I couldn’t have that taken away from me as well.”

“But what about my freedom?” you wanted to ask.

“I know I’m a terrible brother. And an even worse son.” he admitted.

Not wanting him to feel sorry, you muttered a soft “whatever”.

“Once I finish recording this song, I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to sneak you out for a sibling date.” he said.

This was the seventh time he made this promise. Either he was always too busy or you could never escape the tight schedule set for you. But like the six other times before, you pretended to believe it.

The call ended soon after and you were left alone in silence. The tranquility on the roof contrasted the storm inside your head. You had spent your entire life striving to achieve your parents’ impossible standards. You were never enough. Never smart enough. Never pretty enough. Never social enough.

Everyone at school saw you as little miss perfect. It brought you both unwanted attention and hatred. People saw you as unapproachable and snobby. Some even expressed their disgust at how fake you seemed. At the same time, there were those who wanted to use you and your connections. There was always someone who wanted something from you.

You felt trapped.

The edge of the roof seemed to call and entice you. As if in a trance, you walked over to the wall and climbed on top of it. You sat on the ledge and took in a deep breath. You stared at the sight in front of you. Most of the soccer team had left school grounds by now. You only heard scattered voices here and there. It was probably the remaining students hollering at each other across the field.

The rest of the world seemed so peaceful. It felt like you were the only one unable to escape chaos. You swung your legs, enjoying the evening breeze. You didn’t want to ever leave this spot.

Your phone vibrated, notifying you of a new message.

“You’ll be meeting Juyeon this weekend. I expect it to go better than tonight.” it read.

Your grip on the device tightened. Without giving you a break, another message from your father arrived.

“Also, your exam scores came out. Your ranking dropped to fourth place. We’ll talk at home.”

You wanted to scream. You wanted to pull your hair out and cry. Instead, you stood up and glared at the phone in your hand. Your hand was now trembling because of how tightly you were holding it.

By now, emotions were beyond you. Feeling pity for yourself was nothing but a waste of time. It didn’t fix things and it surely didn’t make you feel any better. You were just tired of it all.

Allowing yourself one last angry outburst, you threw your phone down. You didn’t watch it fall from the roof and hit the ground. It instantly broke on contact. Unbeknownst to you, the fall startled a male student passing by.

“What the heck?” Sangyeon exclaimed out loud. He had stuck around after school to watch Sunwoo’s soccer practice. They were about to head out for dinner when he remembered that he left his wallet in his locker. He had sent his friend ahead first as he ran back inside to grab it.

He took a closer look at what almost hit his head and was puzzled to see a phone. Looking for the lunatic who nearly killed him, he lifted his head to see where it came from. After his eyes adjusted to the sunlight, he gasped when he saw you standing on the ledge of the rooftop. Getting a bad feeling, he found himself running up the steps. The whole time, “please don’t die” raced through his head.

By the time he made it up to the roof, he was sweaty and out of breath. He wanted to collapse in exhaustion but his eyes widened as you began to inch towards the edge. His body reacted before his mind and he ran to pull you off.

The sudden grip on your wrist spun you around and you fell in what felt like slow motion. You landed on the boy’s chest that was breathing hard. You could hear his heart pump like crazy and his eyes were still closed in fright.

Realizing what just happened, you quickly got off him and dusted yourself off.

“What was that for?” you asked in a hostile tone.

Finally catching his breath, he opened his eyes and jumped up. His eyes almost bulged when he recognized your face.

“Are you crazy?” he yelled, pretending not to know who you were.

“You’re the crazy one butting into other people’s business.” you frowned.

For someone who was about to jump off a building, you looked eerily calm. Sangyeon searched for any signs of distress in your eyes but could only spot annoyance. Still, his gut told him that something was wrong. The empty look on your face scared him.

“Well while we’re in the middle of crazy anyway, why don’t you tell me what pushed you this far?” he bravely inquired. “Bottling everything inside alone will only make things worse. It’s better to just spill everything to a complete stranger you won’t ever see again.”

It was out of character for him to be so nosy but he strangely felt a strong desire to help you. As for you, you normally would have walked away from this situation minutes ago. Yet you still stood in front of this odd boy who demanded to be your impromptu diary.

He intrigued you. He was knocking at the stone wall you put up years ago. He seemed so bright and innocent. It bothered you.

Despite your irritation, something about his eyes made yours water. The way his eyes softened as he looked at you made you feel vulnerable. It seemed as if he could read you like an open book. It brought a wave of emotions you had suppressed for so long.

He stepped closer and offered you a comforting pat on the shoulder. The second his hand made contact, your tears finally escaped and ran down your face. You hadn’t felt the warmth of another human since you last saw your brother. The sudden consolation broke you. Then, like the domino effect, your sobs turned into bawling as your facade crumbled at last.

Sangyeon was shocked to say the least. He never would have thought the Y/n would be crying in his arms. In fact, he never expected to ever cross paths with you. He had only ever heard of you through other students’ gossip. They painted you out to be cold-hearted but the sight in front of him said otherwise.

Hesitantly, he pulled you in for a hug. Recalling how his mom used to comfort him, he tried to soothe you by slowly patting your back. The two of you stayed like that until your cries eventually faded out. Embarrassment belatedly hit you and awkward silence hung in the air. You felt like you owed him an explanation but you couldn’t even pinpoint the exact reason for your actions.

“Thank you.” you muttered softly while sniffling.

Sangyeon smiled in response and rummaged through his pocket to find something. He pulled out a lollipop and handed it to you.

“Even being sad takes energy. You should recharge your blood sugar.” he said as he placed it in your own pocket when you didn’t move to accept it. “Let it all out from time to time. It’s not healthy to always keep negativity inside you.”

You dwelled on his words for a moment. No one had ever told you that before. Everyone was always telling you to tolerate things. You weren’t allowed to disagree with your parents. You had to accept and deal with Younghoon’s departure without expressing how upset you were. You were expected to quietly receive criticism and never retaliate. You figured it was only a matter of time before the pressure eventually set off the bomb inside you. Like today.

Up until now, you thought the only solution for the explosion would be to just end it all. It never occurred to you that you could begin to disobey everything you were taught.

“Thank you.” you repeated. With that, you got up to leave.

“W-Wait!” he called out, causing you to pause. “Where are you going?”

“To eat dinner. You said it takes energy to be sad, right?” you smiled.

Sangyeon didn’t expect to see you again the next day. Cramming last minute for a test, he opted to skip lunch and study at the library instead. After he settled down, he looked up to see across the table. He had to fight the urge to gape.

Feeling someone’s gaze on you, you lifted your head to see the boy in front of you. Recognizing his face, you quickly shut your book closed and got up to leave. He was left flabbergasted at your blatant avoidance of him.

Meanwhile, you were cursing in your head. You chastised yourself for not realizing that he also went to your school. Stupidly, you hadn’t made the connection the day before on the rooftop. Of course he was only there at that hour because he was a student there. Now you were extremely humiliated. And afraid that rumors would spread.

“Hey, wait up!” he called out as he chased after you, earning him a stern glare from the librarian. You didn’t listen and only quickened your pace.

Unfortunately for you, his long legs easily caught up with you. He gently grabbed your wrist to stop you from running away. You scowled when you realized he wouldn’t just ignore you.

“Why are you pretending that you don’t know me?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“I don’t know who you are,” you deadpanned. Your words rendered him speechless and after a few seconds of silence, you turned around to leave.

“Well, my name is Sangyeon,” he persisted, pointing at his name tag.

He spent the next couple of weeks following you around. At first, you found him annoying. He reminded you of your lowest point in life. But slowly, he wormed his way into your heart and established a place for himself there.

He would greet you each morning with a cheeky smile and a carton of banana milk. To be honest, you didn’t even like banana milk. Yet, you found yourself looking forward to it every day.

Eventually, you two formed an unbreakable bond. He was your only friend and all your free time was spent with him. Every time you felt suffocated by your parents, you reached out to Sangyeon for comfort. You never disclosed anything to him but his presence alone cheered you up. He made you focus on him and forget about everything else. You should’ve known that it was inevitable for you to fall for him.

He was that upperclassman that all the younger female students fawned over. You hated to admit it but you were also among the many who thought he was charming. You felt a pang of jealousy whenever you saw other girls swoon over him as he passed by.

Gradually, your personality began to shift into becoming more lively. You were grateful to have him show you the little things in life. You grew to like yourself and the world a little more.

Present:

You stared at the house in front of you. Twelve years ago, you left this house and town to attend school in Seoul. Seven years ago, you left Korea to move to California. Now, you were back as an adult. It felt strange.

Feeling the winter breeze chill your bones, you shuddered at the cold temperature and hurried inside. You were surprised at how neat the place was; you assumed that someone had been sent to save you from the hassle of cleaning.

Trudging up the stairs, you struggled with your large suitcase. You found your old childhood bedroom and roughly unpacked. Having only less than twelve hours until your new housemates moved in, you felt rushed to get the house ready to meet them. You decided to just wash up and sleep tonight and wake up early in the morning to go grocery shopping.

So you slipped into unconsciousness and spent a relatively quiet night. It wasn’t until morning that you were awoken by a dream. It was the same dream that haunted you for the past seven years. Ever since the accident, the same recurring scene appeared to you in your sleep. To be honest, the exact events were fuzzy but it always left you with the same nostalgic and longing feelings. It bothered you how uneasy it made you feel.

You groaned, noting that your alarm clock hadn’t even rung yet. With a loud sigh, you got up and got dressed. With over a decade between your last visit and the present, you relied on the GPS to navigate your way around the unfamiliar neighborhood.

As you walked around the quiet streets, you took the time to enjoy the scenery. You came back to this town to escape the city life but appreciated that it wasn’t entirely in the middle of nowhere.

Luckily, there was a supermarket nearby. There, you picked out a bunch of ingredients you figured would be used often. You didn’t cook much but wanted to change that.

The trip took longer than expected and you picked up your speed to make it back home before your housemates arrived. You let out a breath of relief when you returned and saw that no one was stuck outside waiting. Humming to a song you didn’t remember the title of, your steps were light as you put away the groceries. When you finished, you took a proper look at the house and were displeased at how bare it was. You made a mental note to buy decorations later to fill your new place with signs of human habitation.

At that moment, the bell rang. Suddenly feeling a bit nervous, you ran to the door. When you opened it, you were greeted by four males who seemed surprised at your appearance.

“Hello! Are you the tenants moving in today?” you asked.

“Yes, I believe we spoke with your… brother? On the phone,” one answered.

“It was probably my father’s secretary that you’ve been in contact with,” you said as you opened the door wider to let them inside. “Please, come in.”

They followed you into the house and dragged their luggage behind them. Once they were all inside, you extended your hand towards them.

“My name is Y/n and I will be the one living here with you all,” you introduced.

“My name is Jacob! I hope we get along well,” the one who first spoke grinned as he shook your hand.

You went down the line, greeting and shaking hands with Changmin and Jaehyun. By the time you got to the last person, however, your hand was left hanging. He stared at you with an expression you couldn’t decipher.

“I’m Sangyeon. Lee Sangyeon,” he finally said, taking your hand.

“Nice to meet you, Sangyeon,” you smiled.

You offered them a tour of the house and showed them their respective rooms. While they unpacked, you offered to order food. It was approaching noon and you still hadn’t eaten breakfast. They declined at first but gave in when you insisted on treating them.

By the time the food was delivered, the five of you gathered in the kitchen. You were pouring water for everyone and Jacob began to take out the bowls.

“Jajangmyun is fitting for today, right?” you commented on the Korean tradition of eating Chinese food on moving days.

After everyone was seated, you gestured for them to dig in and began eating. You let out a sigh of happiness at the taste you had missed in the United States. Korean food there just wasn’t the same as Korean food back at home.

“So, Y/n, how did you end up in this town?” Sangyeon asked. Something about his eyes felt intimate yet you still couldn’t pinpoint the reason why.

“I actually just arrived in Korea last night,” you chuckled. “I’ve been living abroad for a while.”

“Abroad? Really?” Jacob perked. “I used to live overseas as well! Toronto, to be exact.”

“I stayed in California for the most part,” you clarified.

“Oh really? California? Los Angeles?” Changmin asked in English. You giggled at his slight accent, finding it cute.

“Yes, I lived in L.A. for 7 years,” you said in English, laughing when Jaehyun’s eyes widened at your pronunciation.

While the four of you chatted, Sangyeon stayed quiet. He watched as Jaehyun asked you about life in America and Changmin told you about the time he visited New York City. He felt a twinge of jealousy when Jacob conversed with you in English.

“It’s definitely Y/n. It has to be. She looks exactly like her and has the same name. But why is she acting like she doesn’t know me? There’s no way she doesn’t remember me,” Sangyeon thought.

The next morning, you woke up early again due to jet lag. Throwing a robe over your pajamas, you headed downstairs to start making breakfast. You rummaged through the fridge, pondering on what to cook. Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice someone else enter the kitchen.

“Good morning,” he said, startling you.

With a slight jump, you turned around to see Sangyeon. Embarrassed, you cleared your throat and exchanged greetings with him. He spotted the gleam of a necklace hidden under your robe and furrowed his brows.

“That’s the necklace I got her. It’s Y/n for sure,” he thought.

Again, you felt his piercing gaze on you. Still unable to understand why he kept staring at you, you awkwardly turned back around. Sangyeon walked towards the kettle to make himself a cup of tea, still conscious of your presence. With that, he went back up to his room, leaving you alone once again.

Eyeing the bag of sliced bread, you decided to just settle for toast. After the simple meal, you went back to your room to get ready. It was the weekend and you planned on shopping for little trinkets to furnish the house with.

When you came back, you found your new cohabitants watching TV in the living room. You politely refused their help with the bags, setting them down on the table. You pulled out a few small photo frames and held them out to show them.

“Aren’t these adorable?” you beamed. “I was thinking of decorating the place with photos. You know, to add some warmth and humanity. Feel free to take a couple and add your own pictures.”

You placed a handful of the frames in front of them, encouraging them to take some. After excusing yourself for a second, you quickly ran up to your room to grab the printed photos on your desk. When you rejoined the group in the living room, you began to insert them into the picture frames.

“Is this from your high school entrance day?” Jaehyun asked, holding a photograph up.

“Yup,” you nodded. “To be honest, though, I don’t really remember much from high school.”

Changmin, finding a photo of you in front of the Hollywood sign, asked if it was taken during your college years.

“Ah, yes that’s when I first began my life in America. I was both anxious and eager to leave Korea behind,” you said, unaware of Sangyeon's wince at your words.

“Oh… Would it be okay for me to ask why?” Jacob asked.

“Of course. It’s all in the past,” you laughed. “I had some bad memories in Seoul and left abruptly at the end of my last year of high school. That was when I moved to L.A. to start anew.”

Sangyeon recalled the day you disappeared. He had texted you, asking to meet at the playground. After finding out about a misunderstanding you had, he wanted to resolve it as soon as possible. He waited there for hours but you never showed. You missed school for a week before your teacher suddenly announced that you would not be returning.

And that was the end of his friendship with you. You left without a warning or farewell. Now, you stood in front of him again. After seven years, he was reunited with you as an adult. He was both excited and confused. When he first saw you at the door, he wanted to blurt your name out and catch up on all the missed time. But when you introduced yourself to him as if it was your first meeting, he found himself doing the same.

At every encounter, you acted as if he was a stranger. At first, he thought you forgot about him and it hurt. But now, he supposed that you just wanted to forget about him. When you mentioned that you had bad memories of Seoul and that you were glad to start fresh in Los Angeles, he realized that he was nothing but a painful past to you.

So he put on a poker face and went along with your little act. For a month, he kept his distance from you and made sure to stay within the strict boundaries of a landlord and a tenant. While his friends grew close to you, he remained reserved.

“Why are you so cold to Y/n?” Changmin once asked him. Sangyeon never answered the question and continued to keep his facade up.

Meanwhile, you were clueless as to why Sangyeon was so standoffish. You had asked his friends, who were a lot more pleasant, if he was normally inhospitable to new people. At their unnatural attempts to change the subject, you figured it was just you that he disliked.

Still, Sangyeon couldn’t hide his innate desire to take care of you in his own ways. Every time your favorite snack ran low in the pantry, he would stack up on it next time he went to the mart. Knowing you hated the cold, he would make sure to keep the house temperature high—even when Jaehyun went to lower it, complaining that he was hot. When you fell asleep on the couch, he would cover you with the blanket you kicked to the floor.

The boy in front of you was extremely close as he reached behind your shoulders to put the necklace on for you. You held your breath and felt your heart race.

“There,” he grinned proudly. “How pretty.”

“Me or the necklace?” you asked, half joking and half serious. He shrugged, prompting you to playfully punch his arm.

“Now you’re forever indebted to me, Y/n. That’s a one of a kind necklace you can’t find anywhere else. Be honored I made it for you,” he declared. You rolled your eyes at his arrogance but still smiled nonetheless.

“Since I gave you this, you can’t ever forget me, okay?” he made you promise.

Your eyes opened, waking you up from your dream. Finding it odd how vivid it was, you frowned and sat up. You wondered if it was a part of your missing memory.

The view outside your window revealed a white wonderland, reminding you that the weather forecast predicted a snowstorm today. You groaned, remembering that today was also the day that you would be alone with Sangyeon. Jacob was on a business trip whereas Changmin and Jaehyun went to their hometowns to visit their parents.

“The snow just has to lock us inside this house today of all days,” you mumbled as you snuggled back into your blanket.

You closed your eyes, wanting to sleep a little more. After half an hour of trying to fall back asleep, you gave up with an exasperated sigh. You changed into a sweatshirt and went downstairs to make yourself some hot chocolate.

To your surprise, Sangyeon was already in the kitchen with a cup of hot chocolate. You both froze, not knowing how to interact without at least one of the other three guys.

“Here, you can have this one. I’ll make myself another one,” he finally spoke, handing you the cup topped with marshmallows.

You muttered a word of thanks as you wrapped your hands around the warm drink. Looking at the window, you saw that the snow was piling up a lot already. In an attempt to break through the walls Sangyeon had built around you, you mustered up the courage to ask if he wanted to watch a movie together. Taken aback, he nodded before he even fully processed your question.

That’s how the two of you ended up on the coach with a randomly chosen film playing on the TV screen. The movie was better than you thought it’d be. The subtle love line brought a comedic relief in such an action-packed plot. You enjoyed it until the main character ended up with amnesia; it made you uncomfortable as it reminded you of your own accident. Noticing that you weren’t focusing on the movie anymore, Sangyeon paused it and asked if you wanted to stop watching.

Not wanting to ruin the mood, you shook your head. He stared at you for a bit before turning it off. Although you were relieved, you felt bad because he seemed to be enjoying the film.

Trying to make up for it, you offered to make lunch. At his reluctance, you insisted since you both had to eat and delivery would take a long time. He followed you into the kitchen, watching as you surfed the internet for recipes.

You managed to keep the conversation flowing as you cooked. You asked about his job and he asked about your experience as a college student in another country. You were happy that he was finally opening up to you. By the end of the meal, you felt comfortable enough to share a little more about yourself.

“To be honest, I was very hesitant about coming back to Korea. When I left seven years ago, I left behind a lot,” you began.

“Yeah, you left me behind,” Sangyeon wanted to say. Instead, he kept his thoughts to himself.

“I mentioned before that I don’t remember much of my high school years. The only memories I have of back then are whatever my parents told me. Which isn’t much. They were always too busy to know what went on in my life,” you stated.

Trying to piece the information together, he carefully asked what you meant by that.

“I got into a car accident seven years ago,” you sheepishly revealed, making his eyes widen. “Apparently I was in a coma for about a week. When I woke up, I was told that I was suffering from amnesia. I was hospitalized for another few weeks to recover and then sent to California to be with my cousin, Eric. There, I went through physical therapy and attended university. I was hoping to leave behind my trauma in Korea.”

“O-Oh, I didn’t know you went through all that,” he stammered, embarrassed.

“I feel like there’s a part of my life that I’m missing and I hate it,” you confessed. “I get these dreams sometimes and I think it might be my missing memories but I’m not too sure.”

The two of you fell into silence. Sangyeon despised himself for not knowing what happened. He had been too busy pitying himself to stop and think from your perspective. He didn’t deserve to have you remember him. He figured it was best that you forgot him. There was no point in disclosing everything now anyway.

After that day, you thought you had gotten closer to Sangyeon. Contrary to your expectations, however, you grew even more distant. At first, you thought you were overthinking. But as the week went on, it became obvious that he was indeed avoiding you.

Eventually, Jacob confronted him about it. He trapped his best friend and demanded an explanation.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sangyeon lied with a straight face. Sighing, Jacob let it go. He knew that he couldn’t force anything out of him.

Despite Sangyeon’s efforts to keep away from you, he still continued to quietly do little things for you. Luckily for him, you didn’t notice. You didn’t think twice about the pot of coffee that was always prepared every morning or your shoes that were neatly put away after you left them scattered at the entrance.

You didn’t know why you felt so disappointed. You didn’t realize that you had grown attached to him as time passed by. Something about him felt familiar and comfortable. Yet, at the same time, he felt like a challenge. He was aloof but occasionally had moments that showed his soft side. He intrigued you.

“Y/n, you can’t keep associating yourself with that boy. Imagine how shocked we were when we heard those rumors about you two dating! You know your father has plans for you and Juyeon,” your mother chided.

“It’s the 21st century! I am not getting into an arranged marriage. Especially not just for the sake of father’s political ambitions,” you yelled.

A slap was delivered to your face. The sound was loud and you felt your cheek throb in pain. Bewildered, you glared at the woman in front of you. Deeming your action as disrespectful, your mother slapped you once again.

“You don’t even deserve to be called a mother,” you spat.

With that, you stormed out of the house. The boy your mother demanded you to stay away from wasn’t even your boyfriend. You had hoped that he would be one day but that hope dissipated when you saw another girl in his arms earlier that day. Tears blinded your vision as you fumbled for your phone. You called Eric, praying that he would pick up despite the time difference. To your relief, he did and his voice caused you to sob.

“Y/n? Y/n, what’s wrong?” Eric asked, concerned.

You barely managed to tell him what was going on in between your cries. He tried to calm you down but it was futile. You weren’t listening. You were too busy running away. Too busy to notice the car that was speeding towards you.

You woke up gasping for air. Your heart was beating fast as you checked your surroundings. Once you realized that you were in your room and not on the streets, you relaxed.

“Was that just a dream? Or a flashback?” you murmured. You brushed it off, blaming your return to Korea for these weird dreams.

Eric was landing in Korea today and you were thrilled. You missed him greatly and couldn’t wait to see him again. You glanced at the clock to check the time. You had to leave soon to greet him at the airport. Quickly getting dressed, you hummed in excitement.

On your way down, you heard the doorbell ring. You cocked your head, wondering if one of the guys had invited a guest. You shouted out that you’d get the door and ran to open it.

“Surprise!” Eric yelled, holding a bouquet of flowers.

It took you a moment to process the scene in front of you. You blinked a few times before you squealed and jumped into his arms. He laughed, dropping the flowers to hold onto you. The noise brought your housemates downstairs with curiosity. You quickly introduced everyone to each other and pulled your cousin inside once they finished exchanging greetings.

“I thought your plane was landing in an hour!” you exclaimed.

“I told you the wrong time so I could come surprise you instead,” he winked.

You didn’t notice Eric staring Sangyeon down but Sangyeon definitely did. He tried to ignore it, assuming that your cousin just wasn’t happy with the fact that you were living with four males.

You spent the rest of the day catching up with Eric and exploring your neighborhood together. You showed him your favorite cafe and feasted on the waffles there. He filled you in on how his parents—your aunt and uncle—were doing. They drilled him to make sure he told you how much they missed you, making you giggle. As proof of his completed mission, he took a selfie with you to send to them.

“I miss them too,” you pouted. “I better video call them soon. It’s hard trying to match the time zone and their work schedule.”

“Or,” he dragged out the word expectantly. “You could just move back to L.A.”

“Eric, you know why I came back. And what it took for me to do so.”

“I know, I know. But I honestly don’t know how I feel about you trying to retrieve your memory. Maybe some things are better left forgotten?”

“For the past seven years, something in the corner of my brain has been irking me. I know I’m forgetting something important. I feel it.”

He sighed and put his hands up as a sign of defeat.

“Just remember that if you don’t find what you’re looking for or if you aren’t happy with what you find, you can always go back to join me in L.A.” he said softly.

It was a hard secret to keep from you for almost a decade. In exchange for calling off your arranged marriage, your parents made him promise to never tell you about what happened the day of the accident. You moving to Los Angeles was the solution your parents came up with to keep you away from that past.

Seeing Sangyeon at your house gave him a bad feeling. He didn’t know what he told you and was scared that it was only a matter of time before your memories returned after seeing him so often.

Before Eric left for Seoul, he pulled Sangyeon aside to give him a warning.

“I don’t know why you’re lingering around my cousin but I know who you are,” Eric glared. “I obviously don’t know the whole story of what happened back when you two were in high school but I don’t quite like you. If you’re simply here for a place to live, keep it that way. Don’t put anything in Y/n’s head. She doesn’t need to remember what you did to her.”

“What I did to her?” Sangyeon repeated, confused. “But I didn’t- wait, are you talking about-”

“You know what I’m talking about,” Eric interrupted. “You led her on and then hugged another girl right in front of her.”

“The girl she saw me with wasn’t my girlfriend. She suddenly came up to me and confessed. That hug was initiated by her and was one sided. I found out about that misunderstanding and was trying to clear it up the day she disappeared.”

“Does it matter anymore after all these years?” Eric sighed. “Listen, you have no idea what Y/n went through back then and what was sacrificed to let her live the way she wanted to.”

“If there’s something you want to tell me, don’t beat around the bush,” Sangyeon frowned. Eric let out an exasperated sigh, conflicted. He wasn’t sure if it was his place to reveal details to him but he felt that it was necessary.

“That day. Y/n’s parents found out about how you two had a thing. There were rumors going around and it reached their ears. I don’t know if Y/n ever told you but they already had a guy in mind for her. Some stupid politics shit. Obviously, she said that was ridiculous but what power does a teenager have over their parents? She was fighting so hard for you but it was all in vain. You broke her heart.”

Sangyeon’s face crumbled at his words. You had never told him about the struggles you had in your home but he should have caught on from the day he first met you.

“That accident took away her memory. For better or for worse. She forgot all about the guy her parents pushed her towards and she forgot about the pain you caused her. And to be quite frank, I want it to stay that way. She came back to Korea to recover her memories but she deserves peace and happiness. She doesn’t need any more dramatic twists in her life. If you still truly care for her, you would agree,” your cousin said before he left.

A figure stood in front of you. You couldn’t see the face but there was a sense of familiarity. It was the same boy from your previous dreams.

“How could you not remember me, Y/n?” he asked.

You wanted to hold his hand and try to recall who he was. You wanted to hug him and tell him that you didn’t intentionally forget him. But your body would not move according to your will.

You awoke to a pounding head and sore throat. Feeling your nose run, you reached out for a tissue. You moaned in pain, realizing you had a bodyache as well. You couldn’t bear to get up and pulled the blanket closer to your body to keep warm. Closing your eyes, you allowed yourself to fall back asleep.

Downstairs, the guys were eating lunch together. Jaehyun looked at his watch and verbally noted that you still hadn’t woken up.

“Do you think we should wake her up to eat?” Changmin asked, to which Jacob shook his head, saying that they should leave you to rest.

“I wonder if she’s sick? I heard her coughing in the middle of the night when I got up to go to the bathroom,” Jaehyun said.

On the outside, Sangyeon pretended not to care. On the inside, however, he was extremely worried. You always got sick at least twice each winter. After quickly finishing his meal, he grabbed his coat and headed out to the pharmacy. He asked for any and every medicine to help with colds and kept the bag in his pocket when he came back.

He stopped in front of your door with his hand hovering mid-knock. He decided against knocking and left the bag of medicines hanging on your handle.

When evening came around, Jacob went up to your room with a bowl of porridge. Seeing the bag still on the door, he knocked and entered with it.

“So you are sick,” he commented when he saw your disheveled image.

“Jacob, you are an angel,” you gasped at the sight of the food.

“Actually, the medicine isn’t from me. I think that might have been Jaehyun. It was left on your door handle,” he said as he set the tray down on your desk.

You thanked him for the porridge and made a mental note to thank Jaehyun later. Too tired to do anything else, you took the medicine and fell into another deep sleep.

The next day, you felt better enough to get out of bed. Wrapping a blanket around your shoulders, you trudged downstairs. You saw Jaehyun in the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee and said good morning.

“Oh! I didn’t get the chance to tell you yesterday but thanks for the medicine,” you smiled.

“Huh? What medicine?” he tilted his head in confusion.

“You weren’t the one who left medicine for me outside my door?” you blinked. He shook his head and you assumed that it had been Changmin.

However, when you asked Changmin about it, he was clueless as well. It left you with only one other possibility and your heart skipped a beat at the thought. Wanting to express your gratitude, you went out and bought ingredients to make him some kimbap. You spent the rest of the morning working hard in the kitchen, persevering through multiple mistakes.

You groaned the third time the kimbap popped while you tried to roll it. You considered giving up for a brief moment but shook your head. With a determined sigh, you pulled out another sheet of dried seaweed and began your fourth attempt.

Finally, you managed to decently succeed. You grinned in triumph at your slightly deformed roll. After cleaning up the mess you made, you looked out the window to see Sangyeon reading in the yard with a beanie on and a scarf wrapped around his neck. Hoping to keep him warm, you poured a cup of hot coffee and walked towards him with the food nicely plated.

“Hey Sangyeon,” you said as you held out the plate. “I made you some kimbap for you to munch on as you read.”

“No thanks,” he said coldly. You blinked, not expecting such an answer.

“O-Oh… do you not like kimbap?” you awkwardly laughed. “Here, have some coffee then.”

“It’s okay. You don’t need to mind me,” he closed his book and stood up to leave. You frowned at his rudeness, ticked off.

“You could at least take the coffee if you don’t want the food,” you said, making him pause. “Or at the very least politely decline considering the effort I put in.”

“I never asked you to put in any effort towards me.”

You scoffed and put the cup and plate down to fold your arms. His harsh words were so different from his kind actions. It constantly felt like he was trying so hard to push you out and you didn’t understand why.

“Then what’s with the medicine you left for me yesterday?” you confronted him. He froze, not knowing how he got caught. He then noticed that you came outside with no outerwear, making him sigh. Trying to avoid an argument, he silently took his scarf off and put it on you before turning around to leave.

“What the hell, Lee Sangyeon?” you blurted. You placed yourself in front of him to stop him from leaving.

“What is with you? Literally one day you’re taking care of me behind my back and the next you’re avoiding me like the plague. Is this your tsundere concept or what?” you huffed.

You waited for him to say something back but he kept his lips pursed. Exasperated, you ripped the scarf off and stormed back inside.

Sangyeon cursed at himself in his mind. He could’ve handled that a lot better. Sighing, he bent down to pick up the scarf thrown on the ground. At a closer glance, he saw your necklace buried in the fabric. He held it up and stared at the jewelry in his palm. With a conflicted expression, his grip tightened around it, enclosing it in his fist.

You decided that you were over Sangyeon once and for all. You didn’t care how tired he came home looking every night or if was eating properly. You officially gave up on getting closer to him. If he wanted to push you away with his stupid tsundere ways, then that was his problem and not yours.

Grumbling, you climbed into bed to comfort yourself by watching Netflix. You very much rather preferred having your mind occupied with fictional characters than your own issues.

By the time evening rolled around, you grabbed your clothes and headed to the bathroom to shower. Your hands reached up to your neck to take your necklace off but were met with bare skin. Your eyes widened as you looked in the mirror, realizing that the necklace was gone.

You didn’t remember when or where you got it but you always had a feeling that it was important to you. You felt anxious without it.

You rushed to the kitchen to find it. Changmin was staring at you, perplexed, as you crawled across the floor to check every nook and cranny.

“Are you looking for something?” he asked.

“My necklace,” you tensed. “I can’t find it anywhere. Have you seen it here?”

He shook his head as he apologized, saying he hadn’t. Fretting, you checked the living room hoping it was hidden somewhere on the couch. When it still didn’t turn up, you ran outside to check the yard.

At that moment, Jacob and Sangyeon came down and saw Changmin looking out the window. Curious to see what he was watching, they followed his gaze to see you examining the grass.

“What’s Y/n doing?” Jacob asked.

“I think she lost her necklace,” Changmin answered as he took another bite of his apple. “It must be really important to her. She’s been searching for a while now.”

“I hope she finds it soon. It’s cold out at night,” Jacob said with a concerned look on his face.

Sangyeon stiffened, feeling the necklace in his pocket. He brushed it off, thinking you would give up soon. After pouring himself a cup of tea, he returned to his room. The sky rumbled, warning of incoming rain.

“I’m sure she’ll come back in now,” he mumbled.

Half an hour passed as Sangyeon continued reading his book. It was now pouring outside and the raindrops tapped violently against the windows. He reached out for his tea, only to notice be met with an empty cup. He placed the book down and went to the kitchen for a refill.

He was shocked to see you still in the yard, crouched down with a flashlight. Anger bubbled up inside him and he found himself grabbing an umbrella and joining you outside. Holding your wrist, he lifted you up to face him. The rain ceaselessly attacked the umbrella over your heads and his heart broke at the sight of you. You were drenched and your hair stuck to the sides of your face.

“Let go of me. I need to find something,” you freed yourself from his grasp and went back to shifting through the grass.

“It’s late and it’s raining. You can look for it later,” he said as he pulled you back up.

“No, I have to find it now,” you insisted.

“Y/n, you’re sick!” he exploded. “What’s more important than your health right now?”

“My necklace!” you yelled back. “I can’t remember who gave it to me but I know it was a gift. I can’t lose it. I just know that it’s from someone important. It’s the missing memory I came back to Korea to find!”

His chest clenched as your tears blended in with the rain. He never thought that the necklace would mean so much to you. Hesitantly, he pulled it out from his pocket and handed it to you.

“I’m the one who gave it to you, Y/n,” he sighed, closing his eyes. “Seven years ago, I was the one who made this necklace and gave it to you. This isn’t what I meant when I said that you were indebted to me.”

Puzzled, you stared at the chain hanging from your clasp. You were beyond confused. If you had known Sangyeon, why did he never act like it? Then, the pieces started to come together and his behavior started to make sense. Those eyes that seemed to recognize you from day one. The endless supply of the snacks you never expressed your love for in front of the guys. The dreams that you suddenly understood now.

“You knew who I was the entire time… and you didn’t say anything?” your voice cracked. “You knew I was out here looking for the necklace that you had and you still didn’t say anything?”

“I-”

“Forget it,” you cut him off. You shoved the umbrella away from you and slowly walked towards the house.

“Now you’re forever indebted to me, Y/n. That’s a one of a kind necklace you can’t find anywhere else. Be honored I made it for you.”

You winced at the sudden flashback.

“Y/n, you can’t keep associating yourself with that boy.”

You shook your head as if the memories would shake out of your mind.

“You don’t even deserve to be called a mother.”

You stumbled, causing you to flinch. Sangyeon ran to hold onto you and caught you just in time before your knees went weak. You felt your lungs tighten as the world spun around you and his voice became muffled. Then, everything went black.

“We gave her a fever reducer so her temperature should be coming down soon,” the doctor said as he looked through your patient chart. “She can be discharged once she wakes up and finishes the IV treatment. As long as she rests well at home, she’ll be okay.”

Sangyeon profusely thanked the doctor before he felt to continue his rounds. Sitting down next to you, he sighed. This wasn’t what he intended at all. All he ever wanted was for you to be happy. Back then and even now, his priority had always been you. Even if it meant giving up his own desires. Even if it meant giving you up.

It was taking longer than expected for you to awaken. Sangyeon began to worry but the nurses assured him that there was no problem. He restlessly paced around your bed, praying that you were okay.

When you finally came to, it took you a moment to register your surroundings. In what felt like a long sleep, all of your lost memories came flooding back. Still overwhelmed by the sudden anamnesis, you grasped for the only thing that brought you a sense of familiarity and comfort—Sangyeon’s hand.

“Don’t leave me,” you croaked.

“I won’t. I promise I won’t let you go again,” he whispered, holding your hand tighter.

[laurenairay]

Warm Up With Me - W. Nylander

Summary: how do you prepare for a winter snowstorm with your boyfriend William?

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: so much cuteness, established relationship fluff, William is an anxious boy

A/N: fully in my winter holiday feelings! ❄️ This one is for @jasondickinsonss​ – I hope you enjoyed this Ky!

Weather report from a random Toronto news article from 2019 lol.

*

“…winds gusting up to 50km/h are blowing the snow around, making for treacherous driving conditions already…”

“…temperatures will remain well below freezing overnight, and will plummet into the double digits below freezing by late Tuesday…”

“…15 to 25 centimetres of snow…”

“…will be one of the coldest days of the entire winter season with temperatures around -20C, with wind chills below -30C…”

*

You’d been hearing reports of the oncoming snowstorm all day, how nasty it was going to be. When the snow actually started falling, even your boss had started getting worried, to the point where he’d announced that everyone could leave work early just after lunchtime, to make sure you all had enough food supplies and got home safely. Obviously you were more than grateful for that – the thought of not being able to get home when the snow got worse was terrifying.

And you were even more grateful for your boyfriend William picking you up from the office.

He’d been out at the grocery store getting food and water to stock up for the storm when you’d called him to say you were leaving work early, and he had immediately gone to pay so he could drive straight to you. You’d insisted you were fine, that you were more than happy to get public transport like normal, but William wouldn’t hear it.

Soon enough, he was pulling up outside your office, and you had jumped in the car with a wave to your colleagues.

“Hey,” he grinned, kissing you softly in greeting.

Yeah this was much better than struggling home on public transport.

“Thanks for picking me up,” you murmured as he pulled out into the street, “I really appreciate it,”

“You know I don’t like it when you use public transport in this weather,” William mused, “it makes me uneasy,”

He really was the worst for worrying, especially when it came to your safety. Before you moved in with him, your housemate thought that William was overly clingy – but you knew that it was just a mix of anxiety and genuine care that got him so nervous. And of course you appreciated it.

“I know,” you said fondly, squeezing your hand over his broad thigh, “did you get everything you wanted to? I didn’t mean for you to come and get me immediately,”

“You’re way more important, you know that. I’m pretty sure I got everything we needed anyway. We’ve got enough supplies to get us through a couple of days if it gets really bad anyway. I picked up matches for candles and non-perishable food just in case the power goes out, as well as a fresh loaf of bread we can cut up. Oh, and I picked up a few huge bottles of water, just in case too,” William told you, smiling hopefully.

Hopefully. Oh bless him. “You thought of everything, great!” you grinned.

William grinned back at you, before looking back at the road, where traffic was slowing down.

“I may have also picked us up some sushi to eat for tonight, to save us using anything in the pantry,” he added.

He really was trying, wasn’t he?

“Mm, sounds perfect. Thanks babe,” you said happily.

William made a happy noise, from deep in his chest, making you giggle. Protective William was hot, okay? You weren’t going to discourage that.

By the time the two of you had arrived home, the snow was already come down thicker. William frowned up at the sky as he got out of the car, and shook his head. “I really want to check on the Murphy’s across the road,” he murmured, mostly to himself.

Elderly couple in their 80s, with grown-kids who didn’t live in Toronto. Oh he really was so thoughtful.

“Well why don’t you do that now, while you still can, and I’ll make a start on getting the groceries in?” you suggested, unable to stop the smile on your face.

“You sure?” he asked.

You just nodded. So few people really got to see the true depth of how kind and caring William was, and you treasured it. “Go on, I’ve got this,”

William kissed you gently instead of replying, both hands cupping your face, before he pulled away with a brilliant smile. “I won’t be long, I promise,”

If it meant kissing you like that, he could take as much time as he wanted. It didn’t take you long to get all the groceries inside, or to get changed out of your work clothes into a pair of William sweatpants and your favourite fluffy jumper, and you were already working on a batch of hot chocolate by the time your boyfriend got back indoors. You smiled as you heard him stomping the snow off his boots, glad he made it back safely.

“Wow you work fast,” he grinned, leaning against the fridge door to watch you.

You just shrugged, “You deserve something nice after everything you’ve done today,”

William’s grin shifted into a smirk, making you giggle. “Maybe later,” you teased. He just wiggled his eyebrows, making you giggle again.

“Want to watch movies under a blanket pile?” he asked.

That sounded perfect.

“I’d love to,” you nodded, reaching up on your tiptoes to get some mugs for the hot chocolate.

William made no effort to hide the way he was staring at your ass as you reached up, smiling innocently as you caught him. “You could’ve helped!” you laughed, swatting at his chest.

“And waste a perfectly good view?” he grinned.

“Okay, out, out – go make yourself useful,” you said, rolling your eyes fondly.

“Yes ma’am,” William grinned, sending a saucy wink your way.

By the time you’d ladled the hot chocolate into two mugs and stored the rest for later, as well as tucked a box of cookies under your arm for snacking, William had placed what looked like every blanket in the house onto your sofa. He smiled at you, the excitement of a movie-marathon-sofa-snuggle almost too much to bear, and you couldn’t help but smile back. He really was so cute. He helped you sit down under all the layers, taking his own drink with a gentle smile.

“I know this snowstorm isn’t ideal, but I’m really glad it means I can spend more time with you,” he said softly.

Your heart clenched in your chest at his sweet words, and you found yourself nodding. “There’s no-one else I’d rather be with,”

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

A Miraculous TikTok Account

Part 30

First

Previous

Next

It wasn’t until she was at work that Ladybug had seen the video.

Sure, she’d felt the familiar buzz of her phone in her pocket. She assumed it was telling her that one of her housemates had uploaded a video to TikTok, but she hadn’t thought much of it. It was Chat’s usual upload time. And, yeah, she definitely intended to watch Chat’s video at some point. It was bound to be some cute animal. But she was at work, so...

Then, to her surprise, her phone continued to buzz. Nino, probably, she didn’t know many other people she still talked to consistently and he had no reservations about double texting (or triple texting, or quadruple texting, or --).

She needed to hold off until she was done with her meeting with the Tsurugis. They were choosing their outfits for some kind of gala that Gabriel Agreste was going to be holding for the holidays.

(She gave very few clients the option of choosing between multiple designs, really. They were only going to choose one so the others would likely be scrapped, so she usually did one and then either took their critiques or went back to the designing phase… but the Tsurugis honestly kind of scared her so...)

As the two looked over their choices, she began to get curious.

She asked if she could take a call and, once they said that it would be alright, she slipped outside. She made sure she was a little bit away before leaning against the wall and pulling out her phone.

Obviously she wasn’t ACTUALLY going to call, it’s not the dark ages, but she did check her texts.

As she suspected, it was Nino.

Ninomorepuns: hey

Ninomorepuns: hey

Ninomorepuns: poppet

Ninomorepuns: hey poppet

Ninomorepuns: hey

Poppet: WHAT

Ninomorepuns: oh shit it worked

Poppet: I was at work what the duck do you want

Poppet: *fuck

Ninomorepuns: duck

Poppet: stfu. just tell me what you want I’m still at work and I need to go back soon

Ninomorepuns: did you see the new tiktok chat noir uploaded

She clicked her tongue irritably. Really? This was about the TikTok account? Sure, she could expect this from someone like Rena, but Nino?

Ninomorepuns: i think youd be interested in it since it has your gf in it

When did she get a girlfriend? And why wasn’t she told --?

Oh, wait. Right. She’d told Nino that she had a crush on Ladybug once to explain why she was running towards akumas instead of away from them.

An embarrassed blush spread across her face at the memory. She should have thought of a better lie --.

Wait, fuck, SHE was Ladybug. Chat had uploaded something about her?!

She pulled up Chat’s account.

Her eyes narrowed in on the fact that the thumbnail for his newest video was a black screen instead of the usual still frame of the animal of the day. She clicked on it…

Chat’s breathing was heavy. The bright green captions on the black screen read “Thought someone was in the house :(!”

And then there was the flick of the lightswitch. The camera went pure white as it attempted to adjust to the sudden light… and then she saw herself. In her Totoro onesie. Eating the abomination that she was still regretting hours later.

She closed out of the app. She knew what had happened next, after all.

She swallowed thickly, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes despite her best attempts. Kwami, the internet was going to have a field day. The hard edges of her phone case dug into her hand.

She wanted, so badly, to just go back to the way things were. When she didn’t have to care about her image, when she didn’t have to think about how people would react to the smallest of mistakes. That few month gap between Paon and Hawkmoth hadn’t even been enough for her to appreciate it, and she’d only been around twelve at the time, but kwami did she miss it. When mistakes were just mistakes and she was just a kid...

A ragged gasp escaped her throat and she slowly slid down the wall.

She let her phone hit the ground and brought her hands to her hair, squeezing her eyes shut. How do you breathe again? Her throat was too clogged with tears for her to even remember what it was like to breathe normally.

She felt a tiny hand on her cheek and slowly creaked her eyes open. Tikki was hovering in front of her. The kwami was breathing (or at least making a sound similar to it). Ladybug matched the pace as best she could, forcing all thoughts that weren’t remembering how to breathe out of her head.

After a moment, she managed to bring her breathing to normal.

She gave the kwami a weak smile and nuzzled her face against her.

“Thanks, Tikki,” she murmured.

It sucked, but she couldn’t afford to be like this at the moment. As far as she knew, there hadn’t been an akuma yet that day so she needed to keep everything in check.

There would probably be an akuma by the time she got home, at least, so she could feel free to get mad or panic once that happened. Did she really know what she was going to do? Not really. She’d probably figure it out by then, though.

She looked back at her phone and then pulled up her chat with Nino again because, to him, she had just disappeared for no reason.

What would she normally say?

Poppet: wow. she’s an even bigger disaster than I am

Ninomorepuns: right lmao you might actually be the sensible one in the relationship

Poppet: stfu. I’ll kill you

Ninomorepuns: better not do it during an akuma or itll be fixed

Poppet: you right

Ninomorepuns: wait dont you still have work go away

She rolled her eyes a little and started typing a response along the lines of ‘you’re the one that distracted me from work in the first place’ but something pulled her attention away from her phone.

The doorknob jingled, there was a blur of black and red as Tikki dove to hide in her jacket pocket, and then Kagami was poking her head through.

“My mother and -- are you alright?”

Ladybug rubbed under her eyes to get rid of any stray tears. “Of course! Sorry, my friend just told a really good joke and I guess my laughter got away from me.” She pulled a bright smile to her face. “Are you and your mom done choosing?”

The woman in front of her didn’t seem to believe her, but she nodded shortly. She pushed herself to her feet, brushed herself off, and continued on with her day.

~

She pulled her mask on outside the door and the smile on her face was just a fraction too wide as she stepped inside.

“Rena,” she said, because she was the only person she saw in the living room.

She looked up from her phone and then tensed ever so slightly at the sight of a clearly pissed off Ladybug. “Bonjour,” she greeted carefully.

“Has anyone been akumatized yet today?”

“... yeah. It was the homeless guy on eighth and --.”

“Cool. Thanks.” She walked up a flight of stairs and raised her hand to knock on Chat’s door.

She stopped herself.

The conversation they’d had only yesterday rang in her ears.

One bad day away from akumatization. That’s what Master Fu had said. She pressed her lips together thinly. He’d been right, apparently, all it had taken for the emotional wall she’d built to crumble was for her persona to crack even slightly… sure, she had her reasons for why she was so upset that the public was now aware of the fact that she wasn’t who she said she was -- and the fact that it was because of Chat of all people didn’t help -- but she’d thought she was reasonably stable emotionally up until then...

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, resting her forehead against the cold wood of his door and trying her hardest to think.

The options were to suppress the emotions or address them. Suppressing them clearly wasn’t working as much anymore, but she only had about twelve to twenty-four hours to properly address them if she wanted to do that…

She hesitated.

Maybe if she addressed part of the feelings then she could suppress the rest. That would work, right?

She walked up to her room/attic and started making a plan.

By the end of the night, she’d finished writing it all out in the back of her sketchbook.

Glitter

Ruin that perfect motherfucker’s perfect skin and perfect hair

Glitter Part 2 Electric Boogaloo

Lull him into a false sense of security

Make him think he’s going insane

M u r d e r

It wasn’t a lot, only six parts, but she felt like she would probably be fine after part six.

(She’d better be, you can’t really get revenge on a dead person.)

Her problems with the people of Paris would still be there, but at least her problems with Chat would be over with.

She smiled at the plan. Yes, it was all coming together now.

~~~

Taglist

@nathleigh @sassakitty @th1s-1s-my-aesthet1c @blueslushgueen @woe-is-me0 @ladybug-182 @cas-and-their-refusal-to-write @trippingovermyfeet @melicmusicmagic @meimei3841 @roseliali

[mesmusae]

Severus: Lily

I know what Fandom says and thinks for the most part. And I know what Rowling has said. Both of which I reject. I don’t like this narrative that Severus was stalkery obsessed with Lily. I am disgusted at the “it’s a good thing harry wasn’t a girl who looked just like his mother” discussions. So let’s break down how I view their friendship.

Let’s start with them meeting. A lot of people take him watching Lily and Petunia at the park as creepy but here’s a few reasons why it’s not. 1) People watching. Literally everyone does this some. If you’re in a public place, you’re going to watch the other people there, see what they’re doing. 2) Shyness. Severus is clearly not a social person. He’s very introverted. Plus, we know he and his family are quite the social pariahs in the neighborhood. They’re looked down upon for being poor, and it seems that perhaps their family life isn’t so private either. He’s not just going to feel comfortable or safe approaching two girls who are from a much better off family. 3) Lily was doing magic in a public setting, in broad daylight. On purpose. For Severus, that’s quite impressive. And likely what caught his attention as well as being how he built up the courage to talk to her. He was like her, and it was clear he had answers that her family didn’t.

And that is how their friendship is born. It is born of this mutual thing they have in common. And Severus is getting to tell Lily everything he knows. She listens, she talks with him, asks him questions, everything. This is likely everything he doesn’t get at home. Lily has become a refuge. Which is perhaps unhealthy, but at this stage, she’s his friend. 

Their first obstacle comes at the sorting. It’s clear that Severus wants Slytherin. He is starting to believe the toxic pureblood rhetoric at a young age. But then again, two thirds of his interactions with muggles are extremely negative. You have his father, who resents Severus and Eileen for what they are. He punishes them for it. And then there’s Petunia. Who is envious of Lily (and likely Snape on the magic front if nothing else) and lashes out because of it. There’s also the muggles around him, in which he gets only pity and a blind eye from as well as sneers and jdugement. And he knows he’s more powerful than them. But he can’t do a damn thing with that. So unlike most prejudice against muggles wizards, his prejudice lies in his real life experiences as opposed to people like Draco who are just raised to believe that muggles are scum and wizards are the elite but have likely never even interacted with a muggle. 

He also wants Lily to come with him. Because he thinks she’s different. (Not a healthy mindset at all. But to him, she is the exception to the rule). Slytherin would not be a safe place for Lily (nor the safe place that he is expecting it to be for him). Though, I think if she’d been in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff it would have gone over better to him than Gryffindor. 

The rift here begins, I think for a couple of reasons. 1) James and his group are now trying to interact with lily. With James of course later in the years growing romantically interested as well. And while we know that Lily is rejecting James’ friendship and romantic advances throughout school, Severus has a lot of mental health issues. Thus, I think his issues stem more from jealousy and fear. Fear that Lily will one day decide that he isn’t worth her time. Maybe she’ll think that James and his gang are in fact better. And that would leave him alone again because 2) Slytherin is not the Sanctuary he thought it would be. Slytherin was supposed to be his home away from “home”. He’d be amongst his kind. Except that Slytherin is a pureblood and very rich house. Most of the purebloods come from Old Money. Classism is a massive part of that. So not only is Severus not a pureblood, but his family is poor. He wears hand-me-downs that are often described as feminine blouses, meaning they’re probably coming from his mother. Add to that, his only friend is a muggle-born. Which he is obviously judged and mocked for. But he’s loyal to Lily. To a fault, honestly. 

So he’s not only severely separated from his only friend from the start, but bullied by both the marauders AND his own housemates in Slytherin. And unfortunately, Lily is the cause to some degree on both sides. (that is not to say it is her fault. IT IS NOT HER FAULT. James’s decisions were his own, as well as the actions of those in Slytherin around Severus. And Severus’s actions in response are his own). 

Now at some point, his feelings turned romantic. And unfortunately, Severus did not have many sources to look at for what it really means to love someone. Because his parents certainly aren’t the answer. And everything else would be at a distant. Also, again because he has so little and because of those fears of losing her, he is slightly possessive about that. He sees James as a threat.

And he’s having to find some way to fit in when it comes to Slytherin. And he finds that with potions. A particularly difficult class, but he didn’t struggle. And he was quite adept at defensive magic as well as dark magic, thus starting to give him value to his peers. And he of course starts to fall into the classic “bullies are often people bullied themselves.” He starts to partake in bullying the muggleborns, using the word, mudblood, etc. just to fit in amongst his own peers. And Severus is not stupid. He’s also not blind (well, in some ways he is). He is bound to see that pureblood rhetoric against muggleborns is bullshit. His issues lies with muggles themselves more so. And still a lot of wizards. At this point in his life, he’s become bitter, quick to anger and defense. Anyone who does him the slightest wrong is against him. He’s learned not to really forgive. 

So let’s talk about the event. Snape’s worst memory. Where James is tormenting Severus, yet again. When Lily comes to his defense, and James tried to blackmail Lily into a date by using tormenting Severus, in a moment of weakness he lashed out at her. He used the term mudblood in regards to her. (And was then publically humiliated and shamed for it by James and the group). 

Yes. He waited in the hallway all night for her outside the Dormitory. To apologize. Regardless of anything, he did not want to hurt her. So he apologized. And when she rejected him (Which i think had less to do with him using the word against her and rather the fact that there had been a rift growing for years and this was just he last straw). But he accepted that. I think he knew their friendship was over and had been for quite some time. He left her alone, and thus was completely intergrated into Slytherin and those who were molding him and shaping him.

Now. Just because they stopped being friends, doesn’t mean the caring stopped. They had their childhood memories they formed together. Severus was always going to have those feelings for Lily. It does not make it obsession. And I think of it like this.

I have a friend, who was more the Snape to my Lily. She was kind of an awful person, awful friend, and there came a point we cut each other out. (I’m not saying i’m entirely innocent in the destruction of that friendship. But I do view her actions as far more Severus’s toxic side than my own. But that’s besides the point). I did not stop caring about her altogether. Especially not immediately. Especially not right out of school. I still think of our friendship often. I think that if she came to me needing something, I would likely help her, even if I have a feeling she wouldn’t do the same for me. 

So that is what I view Severus’s feelings towards Lily. Except stronger. Because Lily was the only light in his life. She was the only good thing. The only positive influence he really had. Adults were never on his side. His peers were rarely on his side. So losing Lily, he clung to what little he had. The death eaters who took him in under their wings over the years. Those who were promising him power and control, something he rarely had in his life. 

But that care is what got him. He heard that part of the prophecy, and of course he kept track of his friend. Wizarding circles are small anyway. It probably spread without intent. He was scared for her. So he did his job, reporting the prophecy. But begged for her life. In his fear he didn’t think about James. The man that ruined his life and tormented him every chance he got. And he didn’t think about her child, not born yet. Because his reactions were emotional in knowing that Lily’s life was in danger. 

So he went to Dumbledore to have her protected. And yes. Then her family was brought to his attention. And he did not hesitate to agree to keep them safe too. Listen. If Snape really wanted Lily for himself. If he really didn’t care about her at all, it would have been a fight to protect, at the very least, James. He would have argued against it. He instantly agreed because someone reached to the logic in him. And he agreed to risk his life to be Dumbledore’s spy. He signed on to do that for the rest of his life. He signed on to do whatever it took to protect Lily and her Family. So when it was just Harry left, he did everything he could. (that doesn’t mean he went about it right. But he did do his best to protect Harry). Until his very last breath. If it was just about Lily, he would have stopped the moment she died. 

None of this was about sleeping with her. None of this was about winning her over or having her. He accepted that he fucked those things up. He accepted he had no place in her life. This was about making up for his mistakes. Or at least, trying to feel like he could. I don’t think even if he lived to see Harry win and everything, that he would think he had. But he certainly seemed to be trying to show he knew he was wrong, and trying to do the right thing. Total change was never possible for Severus. But the fact that he was even able to admit he was wrong in joining Voldemort and turn to the right side, is a massive step for him.

[jiminiehappy]

Better Than Magic

♥︎ pairing: vmin ♥︎ word count: 15.3k ♥︎ rating: teen ♥︎ genre: hogwarts au, fluff, angst, friends to lovers,  ♥︎ warnings: pining, swearing, dragons, peril ♥︎ summary: “Okay.” He heard Taehyung take a deep breath as he placed his hands back down by his sides, a slight waver in his voice. Either from excitement, apprehension, or a mixture of both. Definitely both. He felt it, too. “Open your eyes, Jiminie.” Heartbeat rapping against his ribcage, Jimin did as he was told. It was even larger than he had imagined - titanic and likely measuring over three meters to the top of its head as it sat on the ground. Of course it was. It was a dragon. “Isn’t she beautiful?” Jimin couldn’t respond. He could only stare with a slack jaw at the creature and Taehyung who stood in front of it, grinning from ear to ear with his arms spread out wide. (or, where Taehyung raises a dragon for his best friend, and Jimin tells him a secret.) ♥︎ a/n: a repost from my ao3. I had a lot of fun with this story, I hope you enjoy it too! <3

Jimin couldn’t hear while reading. Unlike everything in his life now, no, it wasn’t magic. Consistent use of noisy public transportation to get to school, his younger brother’s bawling cries, and the shouting matches of his parents had trained him as a child to focus on the page, overpowering every other audible word in the room for the audible ones in his mind as he read. He didn’t need a spell - it was the internal voice of his own making that wrapped his attention, drowning out all else in a sea of calm until it was him and him alone. It became his choice when to finish, his decision when to stop, take a breath, and return to reality when he was ready. He could be in control, and nothing could take that away. Well, almost nothing. Sitting with crossed legs on the bench of the Slytherin table in the Great Hall, Jimin leaned his elbows on the millimeters of space available among the dishes of seasoned chicken, roast potatoes, salty lamb chops, and pudding that spilled across it, nose deep in Book of Spells. He could only assume the roar of conversation during dinner time was as deafening as ever, but, even on a Friday, he couldn’t spare the time to discuss weekend plans (not that he had any) or listen for the latest rumor. With the O.W.L.s only months away, he studied whenever possible. So, in subjective silence, he read. Jimin took a juicy bite of sausage, chewing contemplatively while skimming the instructions for a levitation spell. He recalled learning it as a first-year, when one of his classmates had accidentally cast it on Professor Flitwick’s glasses and dropped them from nearly two meters high, leading to a shower of glass he’d barely escaped without a scratch. It was deceptively easy, but strong and versatile, especially -   That was when he felt it. The only something, or someone, who could distract him. Three sharp tugs at the hem of his robe, as if a child was pulling on it for attention. With a jump in his heart, Jimin smiled softly before sliding a finger into the pages as a bookmark, the hum of voices gradually returning to his ears. He straightened up quickly, ran a hand through his black hair, and turned to look over his shoulder. It didn’t matter that they were tables away from each other, or that he consciously hadn’t the faintest idea of where he was sitting. Their eyes connected immediately, brown to warmer brown. For when it came to Kim Taehyung, Jimin just knew. Perched on the edge of his seat at the Hufflepuff table, surrounded by his chattering, cheerful housemates, and with his wand pointed at the ground near Jimin’s feet, Taehyung brightened upon eye contact, ever-present smile growing wider. His shoulders relaxed, and he set his wand down on the table before wiggling his eyebrows with a smirk. Even without words, Jimin understood. At this point in their friendship, barely anything was a secret. They could read each other too well. 'Hey.’ Feeling a slight heat rise in his cheeks, Jimin raised his own eyebrows and lifted his closed textbook into Taehyung’s view. ‘What? I’m in the middle of reading.’ He had never seen a bigger eye roll. ‘Obviously.’ The brunette jerked his head towards the large doors leading out of the hall. ‘Meet me outside.’ Then, he jutted his bottom lip out in a pout.  ���Please?’ Damn him, the bastard. Jimin prided himself on his ability to say no without guilt, limiting unwanted distractions, protecting his boundaries, and letting him spend his time how he pleased. But with Taehyung, that all went out the window. Especially when he used the puppy dog eyes. Shoulders slacking, Jimin gave a deep sigh in acquiescence. ‘Fine.’ Taehyung’s grin returned in a flash. He shot up out of his seat, leapt from the bench, and sped towards the hallway, waving goodbyes to the few housemates who called after him. Jimin followed his head over the crowd, seeing as Taehyung turned just before exiting to send him a wink. Then, he was gone. Jimin fondly shook his head in half-disbelief, half-amusement, placing his textbook on the edge of the table before climbing out of the bench himself. If Taehyung was anything, he wasn’t subtle. At least, not when he didn’t want to be (which was most occasions). Yet, Jimin was glad for it. Taehyung made his life just that much more interesting. Adjusting his robes, he straightened up to find a pair of dark eyes staring back. Across the pile of treacle tarts and directly in front of him was his senior, quill in hand and hovering over the open journal he had balanced against the edge of the table. Yoongi’s gaze was piercing, but Jimin could sense the air of caution and care in it. He glanced up through his ebony bangs to the door, then back to Jimin. “Don’t die.” Yep, not subtle at all. Fighting a smile, Jimin picked up Book of Spells and stretched out his hand to Yoongi in offering. “Take this back for me, would you? And I won’t." With an unchanging expression, Yoongi accepted the textbook and slid it safely onto his lap. He raised an eyebrow. “We’ll see.” Jimin’s grin broke through and he rolled his eyes, much as Taehyung had moments ago. “I’ll see you in a few hours, hyung,” he murmured. And with that, Jimin slid his hands in his robe pockets and strolled out of the hall, a hot gaze burning a hole into the back of his head all the way. It wasn’t like Yoongi was wrong to worry. Taehyung wasn’t necessarily a troublemaker, just more likely than not to fall into mischief on any given day, Jimin typically yanked in right behind him only to be handed the task of hoisting them both out, intact. There was something about Taehyung that pulled people in - maybe it was his spontaneity, his charisma, or the radiance of his smile. With him, things were different. A little brighter. Jimin hadn’t always thought so. Their friendship was unconventional, a combination that shouldn’t have been possible. And, at first, one that was impossible. Partnered together in Transfiguration class during their third-year, Jimin had thought the menacing reputation of his house would make any group work decisions simple and dependent on his desires - if he so wished, he could always bend his classmates to his will with a well-timed glare. However, with a loud voice and lack of fear in asserting his opinions, Taehyung had thought otherwise. After a discussion around which animal to turn their matchbox into escalated from a heated disagreement to a shouting match, Jimin had received detention for the first and only time in his life. Distress transformed into horror when he found out that punishment would constitute being chained by magic to the object of his frustration for three whole days. Professor McGonagall had claimed it would be ‘beneficial for between-House harmony,’ setting a good example for the rest of the school. All Jimin had viewed it as was an invisible thread ensnaring his wrist, strangling his freedom with a stinging zap whenever either boy stepped farther than three meters away from the other. But within those thirty-six hours, glares had transformed into grins, silence into laughter. Jimin had learned Taehyung was not only fearless and noisy, but funny, perceptive, and kind. He had learned he didn’t want to be more than three meters away from Taehyung in the first place. Perhaps the charm had never quite worn off, after all. Heart beating a little faster at the thought, Jimin continued to stroll through the empty corridors with purpose. Since it was still dinnertime and he carried the proud status of prefect, he had no reason to fear being caught wandering about the castle near sunset. He knew exactly where he was headed, yet Jimin still couldn’t help the chilling sensation of nerves he felt tingling down his spine. Rather, it was precisely because he knew his destination that a flicker of anxiety sparked inside of his chest. He and Taehyung hadn’t exactly exchanged words, but a nod directing Jimin to follow him ‘outside’ could only mean one thing. Outside, outside. Because inside was too small for whatever he had in store. Or, more precisely, for whatever he was storing. Jimin reached the final corridor before the one leading to the outside, taking a breath before cautiously rounding the corner. Leaning under the stone archway to the grounds, back to the granite with crossed arms, and skin honey gold in the melting beams of sunlight, was his best friend. “So? What is it?” “What?” Striding up to him, Jimin could see Taehyung’s eyes widening as he leaned casually against the wall. The pure picture of innocence, save for the slight upturn of his lips. Jimin stopped right in front of him, crossing his arms and staring him down. If not for the disparity in their expressions, he could have been looking in a mirror. “You know exactly what." Taehyung raised his eyebrows. “You seem extremely confident in my knowledge, for once.” “Tae.” Shoulders slumping, Jimin briefly closed his eyes in a groan. “I mean, whatever you called me out here to show me. It’s been over a month since the last time, maybe two? I’ve been worried.” Honestly, he had been. The longer the interval, the stronger his anxiety grew. Because the more time that passed, the greater likelihood something could go wrong. “Has it really? Damn,” Taehyung muttered, furrowing his brow incredulously for a moment before shaking it off and giving Jimin a shameless grin. “Well, you know what they say: time flies when you’ve got a fun one!” “That’s… half of what they say.” “I’ll never get Muggle expressions.” He waved a hand in dismissal at Jimin’s sigh, then pushed himself off of the stone wall. Licking his lips to reveal another smile, Taehyung leaned in towards him and lowered his voice. “But, okay, you’re right. I do have something. You’re gonna love it, Jiminie.” Jimin’s heart jumped. None of this was new, the nickname or the reassurance that he was going to like whatever Taehyung had been waiting to show off. But the way he said it - his tone breathless, as if he were about to overflow - was somehow different. He could sense heat beginning to flush his cheeks, although Jimin didn’t know if it was from excitement or anticipation.   “Before we go, though, this is confidential. You know the drill.” Still beaming, Taehyung held out his pinky. Jimin did know the drill. They had done this countless times before, it was ingrained in his body like an instinct. An action signifying an oath to keep this between them and only them, no matter what. Their secret. He stared at Taehyung’s finger, then looked up to meet his gaze. There was a hint of uncertainty caught in it, like he didn’t know why Jimin was hesitating. “I can trust you, right?” Shoulders relaxing, Taehyung softened, brown eyes growing warm. “Yes. And you know I trust you. So. Promise?” There was never any magic behind their promises, no spell or charm to make them unbreakable. That was why they were that much stronger. And that was why Jimin paused. Because the idea of ever betraying Taehyung’s trust was more painful than anything he could imagine. But, despite everything, Jimin did trust him. Even with his life. So, he locked his pinky securely with Taehyung’s, and they shook. “Promise.” Taehyung smiled, glowing brighter than the sun. “Okay. Let’s go!” Slipping his pinky out of Jimin’s grasp, he grabbed his free hand, lacing their fingers together in a perfect fit. The next thing Jimin knew, Taehyung was pulling him along and they were rushing out onto the green and down the sloping hill together, hair and the tips of their scarves flying in the wind as their dark robes trailed behind them in the grass. The late October air was slowly chilling as the sun began to sink, yellow radiance pouring out on the grounds and over the Black Lake, which seemed to sparkle in the glow. Yet, Jimin could hardly feel the impending cold - he was solely aware of the uneven ground beneath his feet, the thumping of his heart against his rib cage, and the warm, familiar feeling of Taehyung’s hand entwined in his own. “So, what did you find?” He called out, only to receive a laugh. “That’s the surprise! You’ll have to wait and see!” Muffled by the wind, Taehyung’s voice was brimming with excitement, and he picked up the pace, as if they couldn’t get there fast enough. Jimin smiled. Seeing him this happy was all he could want. “Okay, but can I get a hint? It must be big, right?” If he was keeping whatever it was outside, logic dictated that it was somehow too large for the castle. Either because it simply couldn’t fit, or because it was too dangerous for it to be indoors. But Taehyung didn’t answer. All Jimin got in reply as he regarded the back of his head was a change in profile, the view of his cheeks growing rounder. A smile, wider than ever. In an instant, something shifted. Jimin felt a tension weighing in his chest, unknown and strange. Taehyung always responded to him, gave him some kind of hint or clue to build suspense and make it just that much more exciting. Yet now, nothing. Why? Perhaps it would be too great of a spoiler and ruin the surprise. Maybe he was afraid that if Jimin knew in advance, he would leave. Or… simply, there was no need for suspense. Taehyung didn’t have to make it any more exciting than it already was. Because it was already the most thrilling thing imaginable. Since third year, while Jimin had excelled in Arithmancy and potion-making, dealing with chemistry and theories of the stars, Taehyung had been nurturing much more concrete talents. How to earn a salamander’s trust, the proper way to raise bowtruckles, even how to care for thestrals despite his own inability to see them. It was natural, the way he worked with magical creatures, walking up to them and instantly establishing a bond in a way that seemed as if they had known each other their whole lives. Jimin didn’t understand it, but he knew, more than anyone, that Taehyung had little to hide. With his openness and bright smile, who wouldn’t trust him? Eventually, perhaps that trustworthy demeanor had grown too strong. Over the past year, Taehyung had begun to keep creatures on his own, typically assisted by whispered advice from Hagrid. First, smaller ones, like a single flobberworm multiplied into a hundred which had flopped their way all over his dorm room the beginning of fourth year, then medium sized ones, such as the kneazle Taehyung had cuddled with every night before he was forced (by Jimin’s persuasion) to free it to live with other cats. He had even gone so far as to raise a hippogriff nearly all on his own during their summer break, which he had proudly presented to Jimin at the beginning of the year. That was the pattern they had - Taehyung calling him out of dinner, leading him to a location, and surprising him with a new creature, typically something breaking at least one or two school rules. There was no reason for this time to be different, yet now, since its living place was outside, this creature must be something particularly large. Large, but how large, exactly? Still gripping onto Taehyung’s hand as if it were a lifeline, Jimin kept pace with him, pounding through the thick green in time with the drumming of his heart. For as they drew closer to the looming trees of the Forbidden Forest, he had a suspicion that this might be the most dangerous and important thing Taehyung had ever kept. “Tae, where are we-” Jimin nearly bit his tongue as he was pulled sharply to the right, Taehyung changing directions with ease and without warning. Stumbling in an attempt to find his balance, Jimin looked up to see they were rounding the perimeter of the forest, running along the stretch of land where the crisp grass faded into dense soil. In the distance, the castle grew farther and farther away as it was soaked in beams of sun. Out here, it would be difficult to be found. Furrowing his brow, Jimin turned back to his best friend. “Tae-” “Trust me.” His voice was steady, barely audible above their footsteps, but Jimin could never have been more attuned to any other sound. The aura of excitement had silently boiled down to a simmer; Taehyung was serious. As he spoke, he squeezed Jimin’s hand. A gentle yet firm reassurance. Jimin squeezed back. With the quiet of impending twilight only broken by their heavy pants and boots against the ground, before long Taehyung was slowing down to a jog and stopping in front of the undergrowth, bending over and gasping for air. Now alert to sense the change in his moments, Jimin halted by his side and tried to breathe, inhaling the earthy, fresh scent of the forest. They had ended up following the curve of the trees, hidden far from the castle with the stone wall surrounding the entire grounds just visible a few tens of meters away. Jimin could feel the blood throbbing in his ears as he caught his breath, fingers still entwined with Taehyung’s. Then his hand was empty and Taehyung was turning to face him, curls wild and face flushed from the run, but beautiful with the brilliance of his grin. “Close your eyes.” This, too, was routine. A part of the presentation to capture the full effect. He didn’t see why it was necessary, but Taehyung always insisted, and Jimin could never say no, not to him. So, straightening up and holding out his hands, he complied. “Good.” Jimin could hear a smile breaking through in the single word before warm, safe hands took his own and he let himself be led forward in darkness. Presumably into the forest, but he truly didn’t know. All he could sense was the slight breeze on the nape of his neck, the firm ground beneath his boots, and the soft heat clasping his fingers. Yet, soon, there was something else. The whoosh of a huge object cutting through the air, accompanied by a sigh so deep and powerful that Jimin nearly halted in his tracks, squeezing Taehyung’s fingers instinctively. Only a creature over a meter - no, several meters tall could produce that type of sound. “Okay.” He heard Taehyung take a deep breath as he placed his hands back down by his sides, a slight waver in his voice. Either from excitement, apprehension, or a mixture of both. Definitely both. He felt it, too. “Open your eyes, Jiminie.” Heartbeat rapping against his ribcage, Jimin did as he was told. The creature was white. No, not white. Iridescent, its lines of scales all a milky opal, glittering with a hint of the rainbow, so bright that Jimin almost looked away. It had a thick torso, strong limbs leading to feet each with three solid crystal claws and tapering in talons that appeared just as fragile as blown glass and twice as deadly. Wings, imaginably huge, but that were currently curled in on its reclining body as it sat in the wide clearing against the rough ground. A tall neck, guiding all the way to its head where a mane-like group of horns resided to form a crown. And a pair of azure eyes staring straight into his own, radiating an overpowering calm that made Jimin’s heart stop mid-beat. He had seen it before. In textbooks, on the internet, in the picture book he had clutched to his chest with small hands as a toddler, climbing into his parents’ laps and begging them to read and reread. The little magic he had possessed before he knew what magic was, an imagined memory keeping him company as he sat alone in recess when no one in his Muggle class wanted to be “that weird kid’s” friend. The creature he had dreamed of soaring with, far away from all of his worries. It was even larger than he had imagined - titanic and likely measuring over four meters to the top of its head as it sat on the ground. Of course it was. It was a dragon. “Isn’t she beautiful?” Jimin couldn’t respond. He could only stare with a slack jaw at the creature and Taehyung who stood in front of it, grinning from ear to ear with his arms spread out wide. “I found her right after I showed you Stormscreech,” Taehyung gesticulated with a waved hand behind him at the… dragon, who hadn’t yet broken eye contact. His heart, Jimin could feel it racing now, as if he had been jolted back to life by a defibrillator. He took a deep breath. “Tae,” “They grow so much faster than I read! I couldn’t wait to finally show-” “Taehyung.” Halting mid-sentence, he shifted his eyes over to Jimin, smile fading. “Yeah?” It was actually here. Here, right in front of him. And it looked like - “It’s… a dragon.” Taehyung licked his lips. “Yeah, she is. An Antipodean Opaleye.” He glanced down to the forest floor, then up at Jimin through his eyelashes. “Your favorite. I thought.” “My…” Suddenly, staring at the way Taehyung nervously gnawed at his bottom lip and his gaze flitted back to the ground, an understanding coursed through him. He hadn’t been imagining it. Jimin felt a heat rush into his cheeks and his shoulders slackened, sinking down into the realization. His favorite. The dragon he had told his future best friend about when they had been charmed together in the Slytherin dorms, when Taehyung had spotted on his nightstand the bewitched figurine Jimin had begged his parents to buy him from Diagon Alley before his first year. He remembered the fear he had harbored of it being just another thing for Taehyung to make fun of him for, the way he had snatched it out of his grabbing hands and cupped it protectively, its tiny sparks of flame tickling his palms. And he remembered how Taehyung had, instead, asked in awe what kind of dragon it was, why Jimin liked it, and if he could see its beauty again. How his heart had leapt in his chest, much like right now. But this was different. This was not an illustration in a fantasy book, nor a child’s tiny, enchanted toy. This was a real, gigantic living creature that towered before them, and that made it all the more wondrous, but all the more deadly. Now, the warmth inside him didn’t matter. Glancing furtively between the dragon and his best friend, Jimin held his breath and took a step closer, lowering his voice to a soft whisper. “Taehyung, they’re illegal. And you can’t tame them. You…” He paused, further falling into reality. How had this even been logistically possible? “Does Hagrid know!?” “Does it look like he knows?” Taehyung grinned sheepishly and scratched the back of his head, fluffing his curls. “Not that I haven’t asked him for tips on caring for dragons, but… he thinks I’m just obsessing over the O.W.L. Gotta keep my grades up!” He laughed, but Jimin could barely hear him over the voice in his own head as he continued to process. The nights Taehyung would leave dinner early; the times Jimin would ask Hufflepuff headboy Seokjin if he had seen him, only to get a shrug; the small forest fires that he had overheard Filch grumbling about in the corridors - it all made sense. “Is this why you’ve been sneaking off so much and not telling me where you were?” Jimin’s voice went higher than he had intended, mirroring the desperation in his creased brow. “Dragons are too dangerous. Tae, it could kill you, I’m serious-” “Hey, hey, Opal would never!” With a huff, Taehyung indignantly crossed his arms before gazing fondly over his shoulder at the sparkling creature. “She’s too much of a lady for murder. Well, besides killing small animals. She’s good at that.” “Opal?” The word melted in his mouth, smooth, like the stone itself. Jimin glanced up at the dragon in wonder to find it was now regarding Taehyung with an unreadable expression. That same strong aura, but with no animosity. Were dragons always this calm? “Pretty, right?” Flashing Jimin another grin, Taehyung turned to face the dragon fully, staring up at it. “Just like her.” As his smile faded into a more subtle expression of contentment, Jimin could see the way his brown eyes softened, affection so unmistakably evident that he felt his own heart begin to sink. Then, Taehyung was stepping closer, bending his knees to jump onto a rock that would place him right in front of the beast - It came out before he could even think. Raising a hand, Jimin made to rush forward; he saw the dragon’s nostrils begin to flare as it lowered its head, “Tae, you shouldn’t-” He stopped in his tracks, voice dead. One palm raised high in front of the creature, Taehyung was staring back at him, smile gone and eyes full of an intensity that felt as if it were burning into his soul. “Jimin. You have to calm down.” He threw his gaze in the direction of the dragon, who settled back in with a deep sigh that blew Taehyung’s bangs out of his eyes, making him wince. “I’ve got this.” His voice was slow and even, a whisper in the quiet of impending twilight. Taehyung raised his eyebrows, almost pleading. “Trust me.” He had no other choice. Heart pumping wildly, Jimin closed his mouth. The corners of Taehyung’s lips upturned, and he nodded slightly. 'Everything is okay.’ Jimin swallowed and held Taehyung’s gaze, unblinking. 'I trust you.’ Softening, Taehyung smiled, a true one, before turning back to the rock and hopping up onto it, as close to the dragon as possible. As it looked down on him, shimmering head raised high above his own, he gave a deep bow, much like how Jimin had seen him do with Stormscreech. The creature regarded him like a queen looking upon a subject asking for mercy. For a moment, Jimin couldn’t breathe. But then, after he had held the position for a few seconds, the creature began to lower its forehead with a gentle huff. Taehyung carefully straightened up. Soon enough, he was reaching his arms out and patting the creature’s snout with a grin. “Good girl, thank you, beautiful.” Jimin watched, finally exhaling, as Taehyung cooed and stroked the milky scales as if he were petting a cat. He nodded in Jimin’s direction, the dragon’s striking gaze following lazily to land on him. “That’s Jimin, remember me telling you about him? My best friend.” Best friend. Something stirred in Jimin’s chest, a mix of heat and weight. A familiar sensation in the current circumstance of unknowns. He should have been grateful. Yet Taehyung took no notice of the shift, never removing his focus from the beast and still speaking softly, as if she were the only one listening. “He’s a little shy, kinda like you, but he doesn’t bite, er, breathe fire. I promise.” Cupping his hand under her chin, Taehyung leaned forward to press his forehead to the dragon’s nose with closed eyes. After a quiet moment, she pushed gently back into him in a way that was almost like a nuzzle, making Taehyung wobble and laugh before patting her again. Then, he turned to look over his shoulder. “Jiminie, c’mere.” Jimin paused. “What? W-why?” “You’re going to pet her.” His eyes widened. “Pet her?” “Yes.” His voice remained calm. “Come to me, slowly.” Reaching out, he offered his palm. And then Taehyung smiled, brown eyes warm in the setting sun. In a heartbeat, all his resistance evaporated. Hesitantly, Jimin took a step forward, boot lightly crunching in the underbrush as he darted his gaze back and forth from Taehyung to the dragon. He could still feel the tension in his chest, thrumming through his shoulders from fear, but he pushed it down until it became easier to ignore. Continuing bit by bit, Jimin finally grasped Taehyung’s hand and stepped up behind him onto the rock, earning another grin. His chest pressed into Taehyung’s back as to not fall - they were close, so close - but Jimin could barely process it, transfixed by the proximity of the creature’s head just half a meter away from his own. Before he could protest, Taehyung brought their entwined fingers up towards Opal. “Slowly, slowly…” He let go of Jimin’s hand to place his palm on top of it, guiding it to the dragon’s nose and pressing down. Contact. Jimin inhaled sharply, paralyzed. He was touching it. He was actually touching it and it seemed… okay? Looking up into the creature’s large eyes, all he found was curiosity and calm. No fear. No ill will. It was okay. Only then, as he rested his hand in between the heat of Taehyung’s own hand and the cool, hardened scales, did Jimin realize he was trembling. He took a deep breath, gaze locked with ice blue. No malice, only... Exhaling with a gasp, he brushed his hand over the dragon’s nose. “Good.” Taehyung hummed, hand still soothing on top of Jimin’s as he stroked again, a bit longer this time. The scales were smooth, glowing a cool iridescent in the light; teals, corals, and violets, shifting interchangeably. Despite the strength of the creature’s presence, it didn’t feel alive to the touch, more like a mix between metal and glass, as if he were petting a suit of chainmail. “See? It’s not so bad. You’ve made a new friend.” Chest flush to back, Jimin could feel the deep vibrations of his voice. He didn’t know if Taehyung was talking to him, or the dragon. For a moment, there was silence. Just the caress of Jimin’s hand over scales, a sigh from the creature’s nostrils that blew their bangs off their foreheads, the surrounding rustle of the forest, and a breathless giggle from Taehyung. “Okay.” He glanced at Jimin, beaming. “Now, we can ride her.” He blinked, hand freezing on Opal’s snout. “No.” No? Jimin’s heart beat fast as he tried to process what had just come out of his own mouth. It had all been so easy up until now - not easy, but natural, following Taehyung and doing what made him happy. It was all he ever wanted to do, even if it meant fighting every fight or flight, adrenaline-filled, human instinct in his entire being to walk up to a dragon. To pet one. Sure, he would question him sometimes, argue with him often. But outright deny? Jimin had always wondered if he had limits when it came to Taehyung. Apparently, he had finally found them. Taehyung’s expression mirrored Jimin’s thoughts, his brow furrowing in utter confusion. “No?” He gingerly shifted on the rock, attempting to turn around to face him as Jimin hopped down from it, eyes to the floor. “Why not? It’s so fun, I get now why you like Quidditch so much because-" “Tae, we can’t.” On the ground, Jimin had whipped around to face him, gaze imploring him with pleading eyes. “But it’s exactly like flying on your Firebolt, just a lot faster!” Shaking his head in disbelief, Taehyung threw his arms out in emphasis. “You can’t be afraid of heights; what’s the difference?" Comparing this to Quidditch - he didn’t get it. “No, I’m not, it’s just…” Jimin ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s not a broomstick, Tae. It’s a dragon.” “I know.” Taehyung blinked, face becoming solemn as he let his arms fall to his sides. “But isn’t… isn’t that your dream?” He worried at his lip, glancing up through his lashes. “To fly with her?” To fly with - Oh. Like he had confessed to him years ago, when they had sat together on his bed with the tiny toy dragon spouting tinier flames in Taehyung’s hands. About the wish of flying on something so magical, and how he knew his broomstick could never truly compare. On the day they had truly become friends. Of course, Jimin remembered that moment. But what he remembered was the way the Hufflepuff’s eyes had lit up in wonder as he listened, how he had leaned in just close enough to make Jimin stutter from the proximity, overwhelmed by the scent of cinnamon and honey. Exactly what he had said was more fuzzy - yet, somehow, Taehyung had remembered. Still, it made sense. Important things, he didn’t forget. “It’s okay if I was wrong.” Taehyung’s voice was quiet. It broke through Jimin’s trance, and he closed his open mouth, refocusing on his best friend who was staring downwards at his boots. With the way his dark bangs fell over his brow, Jimin couldn’t see his face. “You’ve talked about it so much, ever since we met. I thought that maybe… for your birthday… ” Shit. His birthday. He had to fix this. “You weren’t wrong, ba-” Jimin paused, licked his lips. Taehyung needed to hear something else first. “Thank you.” He said the words with as much earnesty as he could muster, because he meant it. And it must have been enough, because Taehyung looked up, eyes bright with something like hope. Fuck. “But,” And then it was gone, vanished as quickly as it had come. Heart twisting, Jimin took a tentative step closer to the rock. He had to say it. “But it’s uncontrollable, Tae. It’s not realistic.” Taehyung stared at him, and the world hushed. Then, abruptly, he laughed. It was joyless. “‘Not realistic’... You know, I’ve been flying her for,” he counted on his fingers, tongue playing in his cheek in concentration, “three weeks now? I know her, and she’s safe.” Regarding Jimin with an unreadable expression, he jumped to the forest floor and slid his hands in his pockets. “You don’t have to, I guess. I’d never make you do anything, you know that.” Taehyung glanced down again. “I just… wanted to give you your dream.” He might as well have stabbed him through the chest with his wand. Jimin felt as much as he gazed at Taehyung’s form, typically proud shoulders now slumped in dejection. There was a reason why he rarely, if ever, said no. Could rarely, if ever, say no. Because he couldn’t bear seeing him like this. Because… His eyes squeezed shut. He needed to think this through. Taehyung had ridden the dragon - who knows when - many times and had come back safe. He had raised her on his own, and she hadn’t shown any signs of aggression. Rather, she had been friendly, even with Jimin himself. And Taehyung had done all this work for him, coming out here and caring for her and keeping it a secret just for his best friend’s birthday so that he could fulfill for him a wild dream Jimin had possessed since before he knew magic, even when what all he could dream of was already - Jimin’s eyes snapped open, and he looked up to the large creature sitting peacefully in front of him. Her scales glinted, almost shimmering in the amber sunlight. It was a dragon. An actual dragon that could engulf them in flames with a single exhale, or break their spines with a swipe of its tail. Something that could kill them so easily, they’d be dead before they could even realize what had happened. Childhood dreams be damned, there was no sensible, logical, or even mildly sane reason for why he should debate, let alone consider riding it. His gaze shifted to a messy mop of dark, curly hair that fell over downcast eyes, hiding them the way clouds lock up the sun. But Taehyung was sad. Fixing that outweighed everything else. Limits. As if he could ever have any for Kim Taehyung. “... You’re sure she’s safe?” The overcast shadows cleared as his head shot up, eyes wide in surprise. Then, his expression turned careful. Serious. “I’d never lie to you.” Of course, Jimin knew that. He trusted Taehyung with his life. Now, he had an opportunity to prove it. Jimin took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “... Okay.” In an instant, the sun returned. “Okay?” Taehyung was beaming as he took a step closer to Jimin. “Really?” He threw one more cautious glance at Opal, only to have his gaze fall back to Taehyung’s smile. It was infectious, and despite himself, Jimin smiled, too. “Yeah. My dumb ass trusts you, for some reason.” Taehyung let out a laugh. “Your dumb ass and my hot ass, what a pair.” He flashed him a wink, and Jimin’s heart skipped a beat as Taehyung hoisted himself on top of the rock. Turning back, he extended his hand with a grin. “Come on!” In spite of Jimin’s concerns, the act of getting onto the dragon itself was easier than expected. Opal hardly batted an eye as Taehyung sprang onto her back, swinging his legs back and forth like a child on a bouncy horse before leaning down and heaving Jimin on behind him. It was startling how easily Taehyung could grab him from such a distance, and after a muffled yelp he found himself in a wide straddle on solid scales, boots dangling, robe fanned out, and with two hands firmly gripping his thighs - Wait, what? Jimin could only blink, stupefied, as Taehyung scooched him forward until they were flush together, could only let his arms fall uselessly in surrender as Taehyung wrapped them snugly around his own waist with a hum of satisfaction. Even when chained together, they had never once been this close. “There we go,” Taehyung grinned and patted Jimin’s secure forearm. He was thankful he couldn’t glimpse the heat he had begun to feel burning his cheeks. “Jiminie, you gotta hold on tight, okay? I don’t bite.” That was debatable, but he couldn’t say that. Swallowing and noticing the slight sheen of sweat forming on his forehead as the static of his nerves began to crackle, Jimin tried to make himself sound as normal as possible. Well, as normal as he could be while on top of a dragon and clinging on to Kim Taehyung like his life depended on it. “O-okay.” Stroking Opal’s side with one hand and prompting her to stir beneath them, Taehyung laughed lightly. “Don’t be so nervous, I just can’t have you falling off.” He turned to look over his shoulder, striking eyes softening as they met Jimin’s, mere centimeters away. In the setting sun, they were warmer than ever. “Thank you for trusting me, always.” It was hopeless. Hopeless, how easily the tension released from his stiff back, how easily his mind relaxed, stress and fear evaporated and gone. Hopeless, how naturally the corners of his mouth upturned after a genuine smile spread across Taehyung’s own face. Hopeless, how quickly everything else ceased to matter after seeing that glow, how plainly he knew his entire being was saying, ‘Of course, I always will.’ But, instead, he smirked, forcing an eye roll and an exaggerated sigh even as his heart began to beat faster. “You can thank me when we’re back on the ground.” Taehyung’s laugh rang out again and he threw his head back, nearly smacking Jimin on the nose before leaning back forward and patting Opal twice on her shining scales with a firm hand. “Ready?” Jimin took a deep breath. This was crazy. He was crazy. “Yea-” The word was hardly out of his mouth before their bodies jostled and began to ascend, higher and higher as the creature rose to its feet with a groan and started to extend its wings. A shrill whistle rang out in the clearing, born from where Taehyung had two fingers in his mouth, and in deafening moment the dragon’s wings were fully outstretched, barely having room as they flapped and brushed against the neighboring trees, cracking branches and creating a whirlwind of blinding glimmer that chilled the air like ice. “Let’s GO, BABY!” And at Taehyung’s cry, they swooped up.

Flying on a dragon wasn’t actually that much different from flying on a broomstick. For one, it was exhilarating. Jimin’s senses were on overdrive as they shot into the sky, heart all but rattling through his ribcage and against Taehyung’s back while the two leaned forward on the beast, Taehyung clutching at two scales to hold on and laughing like he was having the time of his life. With the way the wind hummed around them as Opal picked up speed, Jimin could barely hear it, only sensing his joy through the way his abdomen clenched as Jimin held on to him with every ounce of his strength. For another, it was breathtaking. The trees turned from looming foliage to a sea of textured greens that washed over the grounds below them as they soared above, robes trailing behind them and bangs blown back by the harsh air with such force as if it were yanking them back with a vice grip, urging them to look, look at the beauty around them. Absorb it. Drown in it. And so, nearly unable to think, speak, or do much else, Jimin drowned. It was easy. Sun halfway beneath the horizon, the glow it breathed was a warm gold, rays acting as a veil thrown out over the woods, the castle, and the lake. Bright fuschias, pastel lavenders, and calm yellows painted the sky, bleeding together and through each other like fresh watercolors, heavy with movement and growth. And the whipping wind - it never ceased, the accelerating momentum of Opal’s wings beating it this way and that as it wooshed and whispered hushed secrets. Even the dragon held her own in the glory of the shifting world, the scales on her body and spread wings all but a shimmering, after-rain mist of rainbow, milky skin and glass talons sparkling in the sunlight. It wasn’t new to him, the sun and sky and wind and flight. While the height and speed were accentuated and increasingly wild as Opal zipped over the looming towers of the Quidditch pitch and circled around the castle’s perimeter, nearly clipping the stone turrets with her claws, the realization sank in that Jimin had known what this was like. Despite the lack of majesty and danger, flying on a broom was truly quite similar. He had yearned for so long, imagined how it would be to fly like this since he had gotten that damn book as a kid. All to now discover that, yes, he had already known. It wasn’t new. He should have felt disappointed, the heavy weight of a dream turned empty, purposeless in cold hands clutching at air. But, he couldn’t be. He couldn’t be disappointed because of what was new. What was new were two things. One: sharing flight. And, two: Taehyung’s ecstasy. With the earth below whirling about from the way Opal flew, a mix of stone gray, cool green, and exploding sunset, Taehyung was his only anchor. Jimin could feel his euphoria through his cries of laughter, the glimpses he caught of Taehyung’s shining, wide eyes as he marveled at their view. Opal dipped close to the ground, shot back up to clouds, gravity pulling them every which way, and Taehyung loved every moment of it. In chaos, he was Jimin’s constant, the one thing he could be sure was safe, warm, here. It was when they reached the lake that he realized. Laid out underneath them, the water was a mirror reflecting the pastel sky, only marred by the shadow of Opal’s figure as she coasted above the waves. The colors shone brilliantly and the heavy sun cast its golden haze on the polished surface, seemingly suspended by clouds as it sank below the horizon. Spellbound, Jimin could only watch. Then, he was being pushed back as Taehyung straightened upright from where they had been leaning, automatically following his movement with the way his arms still remained wrapped around his waist. A new balance. Despite the wind rushing through their chests, for a moment they were still. Quietly, Taehyung stretched out his arms like wings. Jimin felt it immediately - the rush of calm that flowed from his best friend in the twilight, like peace in the eye of a storm. With it came a sigh; small, but he could sense it. Feel it, in his arms. No worries, no cares. Empty of everything. Free. ‘It’s beautiful.’ Looking at Taehyung, feeling him, Jimin realized. Flying with a dragon wasn’t his dream. Taehyung had been wrong. Jimin had been wrong. He had been wrong about where the true magic was. But at thirteen, he hadn’t known. Even after spending two years at Hogwarts, dragons were still the most magical thing he could imagine. Now, he had found something more extraordinary.   And then, it was slipping through his fingers. Suddenly, Opal dropped, and they were jolted upwards. All balance broken, their bodies began to tilt, Taehyung yelping, scrambling and sliding through Jimin’s arms in his own fervor to clasp hold of something, anything. Oh god, he was - “TAE!” Chest glued to Opal’s back, one hand clutching onto a scale, and the other clenched around Taehyung’s wrist as he dangled over the side of the dragon with an expression of utter fear, Jimin could hear his heart pounding, feel the thick throb of blood in his eardrums. “Tae, Tae-” The sweat beginning to form on his brow, Jimin felt it, trying to breathe and just staring as Taehyung fumbled with his empty hand to grab at his wrist, swaying in the wind while the lake rushed underneath them. From this height, it was black pavement, from this height - “Jimin, pull me up!” It was the desperation in Taehyung’s eyes, pleading, wild, that jolted him back into focus. No way could he let him fall. He trusted Jimin with his life, too. Leaning away as far as possible with his fingers digging under Opal’s scale and the wind blowing his hair in his face, Jimin squeezed his eyes shut, grunting, and pulled as hard as he could. Just a little higher and maybe Taehyung could grab at the dragon himself, climb his way back on. But as strong as he was, his bicep barely rose a millimeter. The position was too awkward, Taehyung entirely dead weight, and Jimin collapsed forward in a gasp with his chest heaving on Opal’s spine. “C-come on, Jiminie,” Taehyung’s faint voice called out, light, but trembling. “You’re not a Muggle!” Jimin’s eyes shot open, brow knit as he panted, gazing frantically, unseeing, at the point where Opal ended and the lake’s water began. No - No. He couldn’t lose him. Instead of Taehyung, he had to trust himself now. Thank god he wasn’t a Muggle. Jimin gripped onto Opal’s sides with his legs, squeezing every thigh muscle before releasing his hold of her with a grimace as he continued to lean forward on her back. Digging into his robes with his freed hand, he pulled out his wand before twisting his torso to face the arm grasped by Taehyung, pushing himself up on his side and groaning in discomfort. Taehyung’s palms were damp on his wrist from gripping so hard, threatening to slide off at any second. But he couldn’t think about that; couldn’t, if he was about to do this right. ‘Just like you read, just like first year. Swish and flick.’ “Wingardium Leviosa!” And thank god Jimin was also a nerd who studied too hard and practiced casting with his left hand; thank god he had precise aim and focused on the collar of Taehyung’s robes instead of his scarf or tie, because in an instant, the weight on his wrist vanished. Yet, the anxiety in Taehyung’s eyes remained as Jimin levitated him upwards, concentrating to keep him anchored against the pull of the rushing air as he brought him slowly, slowly, to the dragon’s body. Slowly, because it had to be perfect. It was the most important spell he had ever cast. One more moment and Taehyung was in front of him, straddled backwards on Opal and gazing at him as if he were the moon. When he took Jimin in his arms and he could feel his heartbeat, curls brushing his cheek, and the warmth of Taehyung’s shaky exhale on his neck - only then did Jimin break the spell. Taehyung was here, and he was safe. Automatically wrapping him in a tight hold, Jimin couldn’t stop the sob of relief that spilled from his lips. ‘Thank you.’ They stayed like that for a few seconds, chest to chest in the restless air, before Taehyung let go. Reluctantly, Jimin glanced down to find that his best friend’s hands were gripping scales again, and he let his hold loosen as Taehyung maneuvered himself around to face forward. It couldn’t last forever; neither of them could fall again. But Jimin still felt hollow, a disappointment he didn’t want to name. So, he resumed his position, wordlessly snaking his arms around Taehyung’s waist and resting his head on his back. He had done it. It was okay. Everything was fine. The world was darker when they finally circled back to the forest. Deep shadows stretched across the sea of trees, the sun barely peeking out from the horizon as it entrusted the moon to take its place. With gentle pats and coos from Taehyung, Opal flew down to the clearing in a practiced manner, landing only with a slight bump that jostled them on her back. Jimin waited until she had shaken out her wings and settled before slipping off, nearly tripping, and striding away. He heard the thump of Taehyung’s landing right behind him, but didn’t look back. “Jiminie, oh my god, that was insane.” Taehyung’s breathless voice broke through the falling darkness with a laugh. It was incredulous, light like the rustle of his boots on the forest floor. “I thought I was a goner for a second but, damn, you were so cool. I knew I could trust you, you saved my-” Taehyung paused. Standing with his back to his best friend, fingers unconsciously forming fists, Jimin could only assume he had been caught. They didn’t walk away from each other, ever. Not when things were fine. “Jimin? What’s wrong?” He felt his heartbeat growing stronger, rattling his chest as Taehyung’s footsteps drew near. Jimin wanted to shake off the nervous electricity buzzing his head, pretend, like before, that everything was fine. But, it wasn’t. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t lie to himself; wouldn’t lie to Taehyung. Just as he felt the brush of fingertips on his shoulder, Jimin spun around. Taehyung was there, hand withdrawn into his chest as if he had been shocked. His brown eyes were heavy with concern as they searched Jimin’s face, silent. He looked fragile. The last thing Jimin wanted to do was break him. Still, he took a shaky breath. “You can’t do this anymore.” “What?” Taehyung blinked. “You saved me, nothing happened. It’s okay.” “It’s not okay! You almost-” Jimin swallowed, grit his jaw to keep it from trembling. Taehyung was looking at him with a creased brow, confused. He had to calm down, explain it properly. Jimin lowered his voice. “Imagine if you’d been alone. If I wasn’t there.” Taehyung was mid-eyeroll before he appeared to catch himself, reaching out to grasp Jimin’s shoulders with warm hands. “I fly with her nearly every day, and it’s always been okay. Today was just an accident, just one time.” He was stroking Jimin’s right arm with his thumb, gazing at him with such deep earnesty, Jimin wanted to believe him. Instead, he spoke. “Taehyung… all it takes is one time.” The cold rushed in before Jimin even noticed the warmth had vanished. Hands now by his sides, Taehyung had straightened up and was regarding Jimin in a way he didn’t recognize. “Don’t you trust me?” ‘Of course-’ “I do!” His eyes widened, and Jimin grabbed Taehyung’s wrist more forcefully than he had meant, pulling him back to meet his gaze. Taehyung didn’t resist, staring right back. Almost through him. “I just…” Jimin sighed, words pressing through the ice, “She’s a dragon, it’s too much and too dangerous, you can’t keep taking care of her and-” “That, again?” Everything, from harshness of his tone to the way Taehyung was looking at him with an expression edging between incredulity and disgust - it was like a slap in the face. “Jimin, I was dumb once, fine, but I know her, I raised her, for you, for your dream, and now all you can do is lecture me? Fuck.” Taehyung spat the last word with a snarl, ripping his hand from Jimin’s grasp. It stung. All of it stung. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t see clearly now, vision tunneling to nothing but Taehyung’s cold eyes and the twisted way they regarded him as if he were a stranger. The sun had nearly vanished, the clearing growing dimmer by the second. He needed to say something. He needed to tell him - “I… I already have my dream.” “Great. Guess you don’t need me, then.” Curls falling in his downcast eyes, Taehyung turned on his heel, striding towards Opal. Jimin couldn’t breathe. Just a few meters away from the dragon, he stopped. “You speak sometimes like you know better than me.” Fists slowly clenching by his sides, Taehyung’s voice came out no higher than a murmur. “You don’t always say it, but I can hear it in your tone, see it the way you look at me. Concerned. Like I’m just a kid who can’t do shit. But I know I can. I read and I study and I work at this, every single day. I’ve been caring for Opal by myself for over two months, fuck it if I’m not capable.” Frozen, Jimin just stared at the back of his head as Taehyung paused and inhaled sharply. Then, he whipped around. Jimin anticipated anger, for the impending lightning that made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end to finally shoot down on him with a violent crack. Instead, there was desperation. Holding his gaze with pleading eyes, Taehyung stepped closer. “I believe in myself. So Jimin, if you trust me, why can’t you believe in me? Why can’t you just support me?” “B-because-” “Why do you have to be so damn overprotective all the time?!” “Because I’m in love with you!” Taehyung’s outstretched arms fell to his sides, mouth dropping open. Speechless. Mirroring his expression, Jimin processed. Blinked. Oh. Finally, it had slipped out. ‘Love’ was one thing. ‘In love’ was another, and the statement was unfamiliar on his tongue. Heavy, new. Yet natural, like how it had felt when Ollivander had handed him the wand that was his own. It felt right, to tell Taehyung he loved him. Was in love with him. But now, his feelings didn’t matter. He had to fix this. “Tae… of course I believe in you. I believe in you more than I believe in myself.” He took a step closer, a shaky inhale, not quite able to meet Taehyung’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was hurting you, and I’m so sorry. You are more than capable; I can’t even begin to understand how you get animals to trust you, or know how to calm them, or memorize Fantastic Beasts from cover to cover, but I just,” he caught himself, pausing before his voice could grow louder. Jimin swallowed. “I get… I get worried that someday, something will happen. And it’ll be too much for you to handle.” He spoke carefully, like his words might shatter if he didn’t lay them out just right. Finally mustering the courage, Jimin looked up through his lashes to find Taehyung still in shock. As if Jimin wasn’t the most obvious person in the world when it came to liking his best friend. It was almost comical, but the way his heart was pounding like it would burst, the way his palms were suddenly sweaty and gross - he couldn’t laugh. “I was scared to tell you. I didn’t even know if I would. You don’t have to reciprocate, I don’t expect that. I only… hope you can understand why I acted how I did.” The world was silent for a second. Then, Jimin took a breath, and everything overflowed. “You’re just smart, and funny, and so, so beautiful,” he was gushing now, “and I don’t even care when you cheat off my potions homework or get us in trouble sneaking out at night, because I feel warm when you look at me, and when you laugh the world gets brighter, and when we’re together, it’s like magic, Tae, better than magic.” When Jimin had started smiling, he didn’t know. Just a few steps away from him, he could see Taehyung’s face begin to soften. In pity, probably. Quiet, like a good friend, waiting for him to get it out of his system and stop. He should stop. But he couldn’t. “I really am grateful for Opal, I mean it. I’m still worried, but… I can’t believe you raised her for me. I told you about that dream two years ago,” he let out a breathy laugh, “and I was just so shocked to see her because I barely remembered it. I remember everything and I barely remembered because that dream isn’t my dream anymore, it’s you, and I don’t know what I would do if-” And then, Jimin did stop. Because Taehyung was kissing him. It was vulnerable, the way he had felt in pulling his heart out in front of his best friend, naming every part before offering it to him in tentatively cupped hands. Yet, how Taehyung was holding his cheeks so tenderly and kissing him with soft lips, smelling of earth and fresh rain, was vulnerable in its own right. A question in response to his own declaration, hesitant and faint. ‘Is it okay?’ Warm. Everything was so warm. Taehyung���s hands, his breath on Jimin’s cheek as he pulled back to look at him, and his eyes, deep honey gold with flecks of uncertainty. Was it okay, to love him? Reaching up to grab at Taehyung’s scarf, Jimin closed his eyes and pulled him in. ‘Always.’ Being with Taehyung was like finding home. His booming laughter, carefree smile, tears of frustration, or even his silence - no matter what, it was enough. It was more than Jimin could ask for, yet, at some point, he noticed he had started searching for something greater. Not necessary, but wanted. Like the little boost of acceleration he gave his broom sometimes - not to reach any destination, but just because he was in love with the feeling itself. Now it was here in his hands, loving him back. After a minute, they broke apart, panting. Even in the growing darkness, he couldn’t help notice the way Taehyung’s lips were swollen, the pink dusting his cheeks as Jimin tucked a stray curl behind his ear. At that, his blush deepened. Beautiful. Jimin felt his face heating to match. “I… didn’t know you felt like that.” There were a million more important things to say, but he couldn’t think of them. Taehyung shrugged. “Me neither. But when I heard you talking it just… made sense.” It was so simple, Jimin could’ve laughed. “That’s too easy.” “Can’t it be?” Gazing at him with wide, earnest eyes, Taehyung took his hands. They were warm, the perfect size to hold his own. Jimin felt whole. Maybe it was that simple. “You’re my favorite person, Jiminie. I’ve always known that, I just didn’t realize what it actually meant.” Softening his voice, he flashed a wink. “I don’t give dragons to just anyone, y’know.” It was like Jimin had been floating away from earth and was abruptly tugged down, hard. His gaze darted from the cheeky smile in front of him to the creature that lay behind Taehyung, scales shining faintly as it observed them with tired eyes, its head resting on an outstretched leg. So quiet, he had forgotten it was there. Just as quickly as it had glowed from Taehyung’s confession, Jimin’s heart sank. “Tae, about Opal,” “I know.” His tone was resigned as he let go of one of Jimin’s hands, slowly turning around to face the dragon. Taehyung exhaled softly. “I can’t keep her, can I.” It was a statement, not a question. Jimin had seen the look in his eyes before, and now it was magnified by the moonlight rather than concealed in the dark. Resignation. It didn’t belong on Taehyung, it never did - his face was home to curiosity, hope, joy - but maybe, here, it was necessary. Jimin’s chest ached at the thought. Still, it wasn’t about him. He had to choose his words wisely. “...I’m not going to tell anybody, I promised you. Right now doesn’t have to be goodbye, just,” He bit his lip. “I don’t think she should stay here.” Gaze trained on Opal, Taehyung nodded. He stood still for another second, motionless, and then Jimin watched as he stepped towards the dragon, going to kneel beside her head. “Hey, beautiful,” he whispered, reaching out to stroke the scales in between her eyes. They fell shut lazily in relaxation, and he continued. “I love you. A lot. You know that, right?” Jimin had known it would be painful. Of course it would be. Yet, seeing Taehyung crouched next to the dragon, a figure in black amidst a sea of glittering iridescence, his heart hit the bottom of his ribcage with a thunk. ‘Painful’ may have been too weak of a word for how small Taehyung seemed in that moment. Eventually, he straightened up, patting Opal’s nose. Taehyung lingered, as if hesitating. Then, he leaned over, giving her a tender kiss on the forehead. She merely sighed in response, nostrils flaring with a hot wind that rustled across the glade and far enough to disturb the bottom of Jimin’s robes. Taehyung mouthed something to her that Jimin couldn’t quite hear, face shadowed, before striding back to him. Behind the hard gaze and set jaw that became defined as he stepped into the light of the clearing, Jimin could see hurt. But even so, the veil of determination looked much, much better on Taehyung. “I’ll tell someone. Within two weeks, I’ll tell Hagrid; I might get in trouble, but that-” “You won’t get in trouble. I’ll help, okay? When you’re ready.” Jimin took his hand and squeezed it gently. No way was he going to let Taehyung expose himself with unnecessary candor for being in possession of a class XXXXX creature and possibly get detained by the Ministry, but they didn’t need to have that conversation just yet. Taehyung swallowed, squeezing back as his gaze fell to the ground. “Okay.” “Okay.” He could have left it at that, given a smile of reassurance and a hug. Instead, Jimin spoke. “And, Tae,” Taehyung’s head shot up and Jimin’s words caught in his throat. He took a breath, continuing. “I don’t ever want to get in the way between you and them. I just want you to be alright.” He meant it, maybe more than he had ever meant anything. He wanted him to be safe. Safe, and happy. Taehyung stared at him. And then, gradually, his gaze softened, and he was looking at Jimin with warm eyes, as if he were a star. “I will be. Promise.” He stuck out his pinky. Jimin felt his heart pumping faster, and his fingers trembled as he raised his hand. This was something bigger, astronomically bigger than they both could control, no matter how hard they tried. But Jimin trusted Taehyung. So, he locked their pinkies together. “Promise.” They shook, and barely seconds later, a gale of frigid wind drew them into each other for warmth. Huddled together, Jimin felt Taehyung’s arms sneaking around his waist. He burrowed his face in Taehyung’s neck, sinking into him like a sigh, nose tickled by curls. It was new - holding him like this, being held - but it was natural. It was right. Eventually, in the quiet, Taehyung’s heart sped up. Eyes closed, Jimin could feel it beating against his own. “Is it weird if I kiss you again?” Jimin smiled. ~~~ Not much was different. They still studied together in the library, still walked each other to class, and still snuck up into the Astronomy tower at midnight to gaze at the stars. Jimin still curled up on Taehyung’s bed, fussing over his Arithmancy textbooks as he snored, and Taehyung still attended Jimin’s Quidditch games in full Slytherin glory, donning green and silver amidst a sea of black and yellow and cheering “Park, Park!” while cursing at the opposing team, even when it was Hufflepuff. Only now, they held hands under the table during O.W.L. cramming sessions. Jimin laid his head on Taehyung’s chest while reading, letting him absentmindedly stroke his hair. And after a game where Jimin had caught the snitch with seconds to spare in a rough tumble to the ground, Taehyung had ran out onto the field laughing, flopped on top of his sore body, and kissed him until he couldn’t anymore. They were smiling too hard. Not much was different, but Jimin still felt a shift in the air. The overthinking and stinging anxiety of whether he was doing too little as a friend or acting overly obvious with his feelings was replaced by peace. When Taehyung said ‘I love you,’ as he always had, instead of agitated butterflies there was reassurance, calm and quiet. Well, the butterflies never really left - but rather than fluttering, they glowed. Two weeks passed in a blur. Even after spending most of the day together, Jimin would often sneak a glance up from his textbook at dinner, searching the Hufflepuff table for a boxy smile, wink, and wave, only to find none. Wanting to make the most of what time they had left, Taehyung had been spending more and more nights out in the forest with Opal, doing what he had to say goodbye. Jimin didn’t protest or ask questions, just lingered a little longer in the corridors while patrolling after curfew, looking out from the tall windows for a tiny circle of light he knew would eventually emerge from the trees and rush towards the castle. He trusted Taehyung, and he had promised. What Jimin did do was plan the departure. Telling anyone about the dragon would have to be done with high anonymity to prevent either of them from being suspected of caring for an illegal, highly dangerous creature and facing the consequences. So, after several increasingly awkward tea visits with Hagrid and late evenings researching possible sanctuaries, the plan was in motion. They would send a letter with enough details to seem legitimate, but not enough to be detected. “Won’t they know it’s from us if we send them a note?! They could just follow the owl right back! And if we charm it, surely they’d have some way to-” “We won’t send it by owl and we won’t use magic.” “...then, how?” “Muggle mail, Tae.” Jimin had grinned at his boyfriend’s dumbstruck expression. Maybe being muggleborn had its benefits, after all. But with the unpredictable timing of the post came the unpredictable timing of goodbye. After sending the letter off, the circles under Taehyung’s eyes grew darker with longer nights spent in the forest, the smiles he gave Jimin just a little fainter. Every evening, Jimin’s walk around the castle would go later and later as he waited for that small beam of light. It wasn’t his loss, but he still felt the weight of it. Heavy, like his heart might be crushed, too. One night, as he strolled through the third floor corridor on the east side, Jimin’s gaze was pulled to a looming window by a gleam in its black reflection. Jolted alert, he rushed to the glass and peered out. It was early, far too early to be Taehyung. Yet, there it was, a light in the darkness going towards the forest. No, not just one light - multiple, hovering together like a constellation. A group, moving as one. It was happening. It was happening, and Taehyung was - Jimin’s body acted before he could even process the movement, legs propelling him to the nearest staircase, pounding down hallways and rounding corners with nothing but muscle memory. He was only aware of the feeling of his stomach dropping through the floor. Taehyung was outside, Taehyung was out there, and he just needed to go, go, go. It wasn’t that Jimin didn’t trust him. Right now, he just didn’t trust anyone else. If they found him out there, with her - he didn’t even want to imagine. Chest heaving in gasps, Jimin flung himself around the corner of the corridor to the grounds, footsteps heavy as he jogged the final stretch to the stone archway leading to a black void. Just as he reached the threshold, he stopped, leaning over and breathing deeply with his hands on his knees. As strong as the tug in his chest was to keep going, to fling himself into the night, he needed to think. Cool down. Assess his options so he didn’t fuck this up. One, he could follow his instinct - rush onto the grounds and find Taehyung. It would be risky; they could be trapped, questioned, expelled, imprisoned - Or, he could… do nothing. Wait here, motionless, for Taehyung to come back. He himself would be safe, no matter what. But anything could happen out in the forest. Jimin exhaled softly, staring at the stone floor. Again, it was so simple. They were together, or they weren’t. That was it. And even if it meant sleeping in a filthy Azkaban cell overflowing with Dementors, Jimin still didn’t want to be more than three meters from Taehyung. A spark of adrenaline shot through him as he straightened up, taking another breath and pulling up the hood of his robes. Swimming in so much fabric was stifling, but he absolutely couldn’t be caught. Jail was still not ideal. He peered out into the dark, barely able to see anything, but the swarm of lights was gone. They must have reached the forest already, and with a dragon to preoccupy them there was a low chance the wizards would even notice his presence. He needed to go right now. Just as Jimin was about to step onto the grounds, something emerged from the night that made him stop in his tracks. Taehyung. Head down, shoulders slumped, curls askew, and lip quivering as if he were going to burst into tears. “Oh, my baby, c’mere,” Jimin was by his side in an instant, rushing onto the grass and wrapping his arms around him while reaching up to stroke his hair. Relief at seeing him safe turned into something he couldn’t name as Taehyung’s head fell on his shoulder, arms limp, and his body sank into the embrace, so fast that Jimin nearly stumbled over. Balancing them, he placed a soft kiss on Taehyung’s temple. Only then came the first sob. It was as if Taehyung’s heart was breaking. Shattering in his arms bit by bit with each shake of Taehyung’s shoulders, wavering cries into his chest that grew louder and sharper with every moment. They pierced through him so unbearably that Jimin soon realized he was crying, too. He longed to gather the shards, hold the pieces in his hands and shape them back into the light he knew so well, but he didn’t know how. So Jimin just held him, rubbing his back and pulling him close. They stayed like that for a while, at the edge of the grass. Maybe Jimin should have been focusing elsewhere, keeping an eye out on the trees in case someone saw them framed against the stark light of the castle. Maybe he should have at least moved them out of view and further down the hallway. But, he didn’t. Taehyung mattered more than anything else. Eventually, Taehyung’s sobs grew softer until they were heavy, warm sighs against the crook of Jimin’s neck. Jimin continued to hold him until Taehyung pulled back with a shuddering breath, and he gently loosened his grip to look at him fully. Eyes, painfully bloodshot, and tear stains streaking down his cheeks. They shouldn’t be there, not on him. Jimin reached up to wipe them away with his thumb, and Taehyung sniffled, meeting his eyes for the first time. They were full of a despair he had never seen, and, now, Jimin felt like he was going to break. “I,” Taehyung’s voice came out strained. He took another shaky breath. “I s-saw them coming, and I told her,” He swallowed a sob, and Jimin grasped his hand, holding it gently. “I told her to b-be good for them, that I would come back someday. F-for her. Do…” Trailing off, Taehyung bit his lip, eyes glinting in the torchlight as tears began to well up in them again. “Jimin, d-do you think I can? Did I lie to her?” “No no no,” he couldn’t say it fast enough, murmuring the word like an incantation as he stroked Taehyung’s cheek. “Of course you can, baby. You didn’t lie.” “I-I just want her to be safe, and,” Taehyung shuddered, squeezing his eyes shut. “I… didn’t know it would hurt this much.” His voice was barely above a whisper, but the grief was deafening. There was a terrible twist in Jimin’s chest, seeing Taehyung like this, hearing him and feeling the pain almost as if it were his own. Especially when he felt powerless to make it better.   “I know.” It was all he could say. Taehyung exhaled slowly before wiping his nose on the back of his sleeve and straightening up. “I’m… I’m okay.” He looked at Jimin, nodding repeatedly and forcing the corners of his lips to upturn. As if Jimin didn’t notice the hard swallow, or how the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. They both knew he did. But if Taehyung needed him to pretend, then he would. He would do anything for Taehyung in a heartbeat. Jimin gave him what he hoped was at least a half-genuine smile, and then took his hand to guide Taehyung further into the corridor. Firelight from the enchanted torches bathed Taehyung’s face in a honey warmth, but even it couldn’t mask the lifeless expression Jimin glimpsed when Taehyung thought he wasn’t looking. Licking his lips nervously, Jimin led them to the stone wall, close enough to watch the entrance, yet far enough inside that they wouldn’t be spotted. There were still no signs of life from the trees. Was it going smoothly, or not? What was taking so long?   “Did… did you see them, in the forest?” Jimin tried to make his tone casual as he leaned his side against the wall, like they hadn’t both been crying only moments ago. “Yeah. For a bit.” Still holding on to his hand, Taehyung rested his back on the stone and stared straight ahead. He sniffed. “I had to sneak away, but I heard them s-saying how calm she was.” It took everything in Jimin’s power to ignore the quiver in his boyfriend’s voice. Despite his best efforts, he stroked the back of Taehyung’s hand with his thumb. “Did they leave before you?” “No.” If he hadn’t been looking so closely, he would have missed the way Taehyung’s gaze shifted, roaming from the opposite wall to land intently on the darkness outside. He was waiting for something. Of course he was.   Earlier, on the grass, Jimin had thought it would be best to walk away. To take Taehyung back to his dorm or even the Astronomy tower; anywhere they could sleep or focus on something else. Now, the realization sunk in that that wouldn’t have been possible, not without seeing this through. With Taehyung, every second counted, even the most painful ones. “Hey.” Brown eyes met his. “Let’s stay here for a bit. Okay?” Taehyung blinked. Nodded, voice soft. “Okay.” It didn’t take more than a slight tug to pull him down, and a moment later they were sitting on the hard floor, side by side with crossed legs. Jimin only had to put his arm around him and Taehyung was adjusting his body without a word, laying his head in Jimin’s lap and pulling his robe over them like a blanket. The sigh they shared was familiar as they sank into each other, and when Jimin’s fingers mindlessly moved to play with soft curls, Taehyung seemed to melt further, surrendering all weight and tension in another exhale. Jimin glanced down to find his eyes closed, dark eyelashes fanning over amber skin. Peaceful. Maybe Jimin couldn’t bring Opal back, couldn’t ensure she was treated well or that she would have a good life in the sanctuary. He couldn’t take away Taehyung’s pain or make time go any faster. Now, though, he could help him rest. That would have to be enough. “We’ll know, when they leave.” Taehyung’s shoulders stiffened. For a moment, Jimin watched as he stared at the black fabric of his robes with empty eyes, unseeing, before giving a small nod and closing them. With another few strokes of Jimin’s fingers threading through his hair, the stress seemed to dissipate. The solitude of the corridor set in just as gradually, so quiet that the only sounds audible were the flicker of the torches and the pulse of their hearts, slowing in time to make one single beat that measured the seconds. They waited there, everything still. Until it wasn’t. Jimin’s hand froze as faint voices came from the grounds, traveling on the chilled wind only to be ripped apart by a thump, thump, thump. Footsteps, heavy footsteps. There was only one thing he could think of that would be so big. He had barely opened his mouth to whisper Taehyung’s name before starting as the boy shot from his lap and scrambled to the entrance. Jimin hopped up right behind him, legs aching, and soon enough he reached Taehyung’s side. His aura had been so calm, yet now there was only intensity as he peered around the corner of the archway, overflowing from the way he clutched at the stone and his wild gaze that darted around for any sign of movement in the shadows. Maybe Taehyung was experiencing the same kind of instinctual pull Jimin had before, but there was no way he could actually follow it. He had to know that. Still, Jimin wrapped a cautious arm around his waist as he stepped behind him, leaning over his shoulder to survey the grounds. At first, there was nothing but the sound of rustling grass and pounding footfalls, lost in the void far beyond the stone of the castle. Then, one by one, those same spots of light Jimin had seen on the third corridor appeared, little more than twinkling stars that bobbed up and down as they inched across the border of the forest at a steady pace. Strangely, Opal’s figure seemed non-existent, yet he could still hear her moving, drawing closer - Taehyung inhaled sharply, craning his neck out into the dark, and that’s when Jimin saw her. Profile just visible in the slight shine from the wizard’s wands, Opal was luminescent. Her wings and torso shimmered like mist with each step, rainbow scales flashing as each caught the light. Even her eye glowed a shocking blue, suspended in the air like a sapphire moon. If she had been dazzling during the daytime, she was radiant against the black canvas of midnight. Except, that wasn’t the only reason Jimin couldn’t stop staring. More than beautiful, she crossed the grounds so easily, never seeming to stop or even pass the wizards. Just following behind them almost… calmly. Like Yoongi’s cat, an animal so stubborn, but that would listen to his every command. Obedient. The last quality Jimin would expect from a dragon. As the group continued further down the line of trees and towards the entrance gate, Jimin could feel Taehyung growing more and more tense under his grip, breathing turning shaky. His own heart stirred, and Jimin turned his head to sigh into the crook Taehyung’s neck, but not before noticing the tears brimming in his eyes. How he wished he could stop it. ‘It’s okay.’ He kissed his cheek, earning another strained exhale which melted into a whimper as Opal’s sparkling figure passed directly across from where they stood. Not a moment later, the shimmering stopped. All that remained was the pinprick-sized gleam of a few moonstone scales, barely discernible in the darkness. That, and a pair of azure eyes staring right at them. Indistinct shouts rang out from the grounds and Jimin immediately dived against the wall, trying to pull Taehyung with him. One glance at where Opal was looking and they would be seen, discovered, and that couldn’t happen after all of this. But Taehyung wouldn’t budge. He just gazed back into the night, and, holding in another sob, gave a vigorous nod. At once, the cries died out. Taehyung didn’t move. Footsteps, hard, slow, and rhythmic, echoed over the grass once more. Heart throbbing in his ears, Jimin crept back behind Taehyung and peeked over his shoulder only to find everything the same. A wavering flock of lights and glinting, iridescent scales traveling away from the castle. In a moment, Opal had returned to being docile, almost a pet rather than a beast. It didn’t make sense - she shouldn’t have been trainable. Dragons were lethal animals, and even someone ridiculously gifted like Taehyung shouldn’t have this kind of power over her, it just wasn’t possible. This had been strange from the very beginning, but he had never questioned it. So, then, how… Jimin blinked. He almost missed the wizards slipping out of sight, lit wands disappearing around the snaking corner of the forest with Opal trailing just behind. An intelligent creature more than capable of making its own judgements, of choosing to say no and fly away. A dangerous creature that could easily overpower a mere young wizard and kill him in an instant without reason. A creature that, instead, chose to stay, to follow, and to listen to a nod of the head signaling that it was alright, things would be okay. “She trusts you.” He whispered the words as he slid his arms around Taehyung’s waist, this time for comfort rather than precaution. Resting his chin on his shoulder and looking into his eyes, Jimin found them still shining, but his gaze was a bit more lucid and focused. “I know.” Taehyung’s bottom lip trembled, and he swiftly reached up to wipe his nose before heaving out a sigh, expression turning firm. “Maybe she shouldn’t.” “No. No, she absolutely should. Trusting you is the smartest thing she’s ever done.” Like a cloud passing over the stars, Opal’s glittering form began to grow dimmer as she gradually vanished beyond the trees. Then, darkness. She was gone. Taehyung’s gaze was immobile at first, staring with wide eyes as if lost at the empty space where she had been. Perhaps he hadn’t heard Jimin’s words, too caught up in the final moments, but that was okay. Pulling him closer, Jimin felt the tension suddenly ebb from his boyfriend’s body as he relaxed into the embrace. And, finally, Taehyung turned, wrapping his arms around Jimin and burying his head into his shoulder. It was the first time he had initiated contact that night, Jimin realized. He knew it not consciously, but from the instant feeling of relief that flooded through him in a wave of warmth. Taehyung’s hands on his back, clutching at his robes; the soft curls brushing his neck; the way their chests pressed together, hearts fighting to be even closer, blood flowing through blood. The feeling of being whole again, even when one of them was broken. Nothing could be more right. “You really think so?” The words were quiet, muffled even more as Taehyung muttered them into the heavy fabric on Jimin’s shoulder. “Huh?” “That... she should trust me.” As soft as it was, there was desperation in his voice, as if he were pleading. Praying for affirmation, a breath of hope. Taehyung had heard him, after all. Jimin hummed, letting his eyes close, and he turned his head to whisper into his ear. “Yes, I do. You always keep your promises.” In spite of everything, he felt a small smile blooming on his face, and he gently kissed Taehyung’s temple before pulling back and pressing their foreheads together. “I would know.” Maybe it was the glow of the torchlight that cast his features in half-gold, half-shadow, or maybe it was lingering relief in Jimin’s chest of being held after holding for so long, but, in that moment, Taehyung had never been more beautiful. Cheeks still dusted a soft pink from the tears, the way he looked at him was in awe, mouth slightly agape and eyes wide, warm and heavy with something Jimin couldn’t describe, but knew because he could feel it reflected in his own gaze. Taehyung had started saying it when they first became friends. Had still been saying it these past two weeks, but in a different way - in a sincere tone, accompanied by a stolen kiss or a bear hug. Jimin had never doubted him, always believed he meant it with his whole heart. Though it was this time, when Taehyung didn’t say it, that Jimin knew it was true. ‘I love you.’           ‘I love you, too.’ A shy smile spread across Taehyung’s face. In the dawning sun, Jimin had never felt more warm.

Moonlight poured through the windows, dyed green from the lakewater. They lay curled up in Jimin’s bed, arms and legs wrapped together in tangled sheets, Jimin’s fingers weaving through Taehyung’s curls as he rested his head on his chest. Sniffles that persisted as they snuck back to the Slytherin dorm had eased into soft sighs, and Taehyung now seemed to be asleep, breathing silent. His presence mirrored the subtle quiet that pervaded the room, heavy on Jimin’s form, but with a safety in its weight that only made him sink deeper. If Taehyung could sleep tonight, he had succeeded. Still, he could only sleep if he was certain his job was complete. Lifting his head off the pillow, Jimin looked down. He couldn’t see more than Taehyung’s curls, tinged teal in the light rather than their normal shade of coffee. They were soft between his fingertips, but gave no access to his face, so Jimin brushed his bangs back just to be sure. Open. Taehyung’s eyes were wide open, not looking at Jimin but staring off to the side of him. Jimin automatically followed his gaze, stopping on his nightstand. Oh. There, bathed in emerald light with glinting scales and curled up as if asleep, was the dragon figurine. Jimin could feel his blood pressure rising, heart pumping steadily faster. He should have put it away, should have shoved it in his drawer weeks ago when he had remembered, had known what it would have been like if Taehyung had to see it afterwards. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t anticipated how hard it would be after goodbye - he should have been smarter, more attentive, or at least prepared for the worst. “Baby…” The word was painful on Jimin’s tongue as he broke the silence with a whisper. He felt the strain in his chest, and Taehyung shifted his gaze to look up at him. “Baby, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You raised her for me, you did that all by yourself for something I wanted and then-” He swallowed down the guilt, hushing himself as he let his head fall back into the pillow. The ceiling loomed above him, cold and unwelcoming. What did Taehyung need to hear? “I’m, I’m grateful. I’m really, really grateful, and I want you to know that because this is hard and I want some part of this to be worth it, even it’s just a little-” “Jiminie. Look at me.” Voice catching in his throat, Jimin did. “It’s okay.” As he spilled his feelings, Jimin hadn’t noticed Taehyung shift his body, but now he was close, face right next to his own with his hair spread out over the pillow. Eyes filled with concern, he radiated comfort, and Jimin found himself lost in the lull, unable to look away. Yet, there was still a shadow that hadn’t disappeared. “Yeah, it’s hard.” Taehyung whispered, biting his lip, and Jimin felt his body tense against his side. “It fucking sucks. A lot. But… ” Taking a breath, he reached over Jimin, rustling the covers and gently picking up the figurine by the torso. Its scales gleamed in the moonlight and the toy stirred in Taehyung’s fingers, beginning to wake and flap its small wings feebly with a whine. Nervous, Jimin watched Taehyung place it on his open palm, waiting for it to shoot sparks at his skin in revenge for the disturbance. But the tiny dragon only shuffled around its new home, craning its neck up to peer at its captor face with a distrustful eye before pausing, shuffling again, and plopping down with a huff. Of course it felt at ease; there was no reason to be anxious. In the history of their friendship, the toy had never breathed fire at him. It had spat at Jimin many times, often stinging his skin, but never once had it harmed Taehyung. It made sense. Dragons liked him. Sighing shakily, Taehyung settled into Jimin’s side once more. He wistfully stared at the figurine nuzzling its head into his palm with closed eyes before cradling it to his chest. “I’ll be okay. I knew I couldn’t keep her forever.” His voice became nothing more than a whisper, lighthearted tone fading. Jimin didn’t know how to respond. The silence was unbearable. “...I’m sorry.” He finally breathed, faint in the darkness. “Don’t be.” Jimin looked over, and their eyes met. Taehyung’s gaze was soft, but strong. “I got to fulfill your dream, angel. That’s what matters.” Jimin’s lips parted slightly in awe, and he felt his heart leap. The sunlight was on him again, warming him with its rays through Taehyung’s caring eyes, the slight tug at the corner of his mouth, his free hand that found Jimin’s own easily, like it belonged there. “And I’ll see her again. I don’t know when but I know I will.” Taehyung swallowed, brow furrowed in determination. Then, the corners of his mouth curved upwards, and he winked. “I keep my promises, right?” “Right.” Jimin felt true relief for the first time that night as Taehyung squeezed his hand, a weight that evaporated like mist. He licked his lips, searching for the right words again. “I’ll… I’ll help you get there. Promise.” Jimin nodded in reassurance, more for himself than his boyfriend. He would do anything for Taehyung, and he would do this, too. He had promised. “I just want you to be happy.” The words slipped out in the moment, his heart laid bare. Taehyung let out a gentle laugh, smiling brighter. “You don’t need to promise, Jimin. I’m already happy. I have you.”   It had always been simple, with them. Simple, because it was right. And as Taehyung kissed him, slow and full, Jimin knew no other magic could compare. ~~~ a/n: thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed!! they make my heart melt haha ^^ any feedback or comments or even a like would be so so appreciated! <3 hope you have a wonderful day

[guysunderwearstories]

Story #7

“I don’t know, man, this seems kind of elaborate.”

Seth and Tyler sat on the porch of Seth’s house. For the first time, Tyler had hung out with Seth without his underwear exposed. Their initial meeting had involved some see-through shorts and a rainstorm, and last time they had encountered each other it was after Tyler’s housemate Aaron has left Tyler in nothing but a pair of trunks at the gym and Seth had to loan him his shorts. Now Seth was trying to convince Tyler that he had the perfect plan to get Aaron back, but Tyler needed a lot of convincing.

Seth has attached a relatively short bungee cord to his porch. The idea was that when they got Aaron in a public enough place, they would attach a bungee cord to his pants, and Seth (who he didn’t know) would take his wallet from him. Thinking he was being robbed, Aaron would run after him and eventually the bungee cord would run out and he’d fly out of his pants.

Tyler wasn’t sure what he thought; sure, it would embarrass Aaron, but it seemed way too complicated. A simple tug to the pants to expose his underwear seemed like it would get the job done. To test out the plan for its feasibility, they decided to give it a go one one of Seth’s housemates.

Seth’s housemate Carlos was coming back from the deli where he had picked himself up a breakfast sandwich. Clearly the September heat had gotten to him, as he had taken off his t-shirt and stuck it in his pocket. He wore nothing but a pair of not particularly long sweat shorts, a pretty defined v on his lower abdomen dipping into them. If Seth looked like he worked out a lot, Carlos looked like worked out twice as much. Seth face Tyler a look, and Tyler sighed as he hid behind some overgrown bushes.

“Hey man, what’s up?” Seth beckoned Carlos over. Seth has assured Tyler that Carlos was the perfect person to test their prank on. Not prone to embarrassment and a tendency to end every drunken night doing a keg stand in his boxers anyway, being seen without pants would just be a nice goof.

As Seth and Carlos made small talk, Tyler subtly attached the bungee cord to the back of Carlos’s shorts without him realizing. He then emerged from the bushes, grabbed Carlos’s phone from his hand, and ran away.

“What the-“. Carlos stood there in disbelief. “My phone!” He started running after Tyler but only made it about ten feet before the bungee cord went stiff. He fell clean out of his sweat shorts and landed on his stomach on the grass. What surprised Seth was that Carlos wasn’t wearing the baggy boxers he had grown accustomed to seeing him in, but a pair of unflattering Hanes tighty whities.

Tyler stopped running and him and Seth burst into his hysterics. Carlos got up and in shock didn’t even think to put back on his pants right away. The muscular guy stood there in nothing but his white briefs for a second before registering what happened, and his face turned red as he quickly walked over to his shorts to put them back on.

“No boxers today, Carlos?” Seth asked after he and Tyler explained the situation.

Carlos looked down and realized that his black waistband and a splash of the white fabric underneath were still showing above his shorts. He pulled up his shorts so that they were a little too high, exposing much more of his thighs than had been on display before.

“I’ve been getting into wearing shorter shorts lately so I brought a few packs of these things. They were super cheap. You can’t wear boxers under these things or they’ll poke out and you look like an idiot”

“We cant have that, after you looked so intelligent layed out in the lawn,” Tyler laughed. Carlos waved his hand to dismiss the comment and walked inside the house, but not before Seth playfully pulled back the waistband of his shorts to reveal a briefs-class ass.

“Still think it won’t work?” Seth asked.

“Okay, you’re right, that was pretty spectacular.” Tyler smiles at his friend. “Did you still want to grab some burgers?”

“Yea I just gotta use the bathroom first.” Tyler followed Seth inside the house.

As Seth used the bathroom, Tyler stood outside the door waiting for him. The plan had worked perfectly, but Tyler was secretly hoping it wouldn’t. He loved hanging out with Seth, but he couldn’t help feel that Seth was so put together that he couldn’t really know him as a person. Seth had seen Tyler in two of his most embarrassing moments, but Tyler couldn’t even imagine Seth embarrassed; the one time he had seen him in his underwear, Seth had willingly stripped and didn’t seem at all embarrassed to do so (not that he had any reason to be embarrassed). As entertaining a sight as Carlos had been, Tyler couldn’t stop himself from wishing it had been Seth humiliated in the front yard in a pair of tighty whities.

Seth came out of the bathroom and immediately began chattering about which burger joint had the best deals. He was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, but Seth was still in the process of buttoning them as he stood with his back facing Tyler. Not knowing what came over him, Tyler grabbed the waists of Seth’s jeans in order to tug them to his ankles.

But before he could pull far enough to see even a trace of underwear fabric, Seth turned the tables and swiftly pulled Tyler’s jeans down to his ankles; he buttoned up his own pants in one swift motion.

Tyler looked down in horror at his bare legs. And they were barer than usual. Today, emboldened by the revenge plan on Aaron, he finally gained the confidence to wear a pair of briefs he brought for the first time. From American Eagle, they were a solid charcoal gray. So preturbed by the turn of events, he stood there for a solid minute with his pants around his ankles before he finally fumbled for his jeans and pulled them back up to his waist. He stood there for a few second, face bright red, before he thought of something to say.

“I feel like you’ve seen my underwear enough times to know I’m not usually a briefs guy.”

“I think they suit you.” Seth smiled. He exaggeratedly put both his hands on the waist of his jeans. “Doing this so you won’t try getting revenge on me.”

Tyler wouldn’t dream of it. Not after what felt like his most embarrassing underwear exposure so far.

“After all,” Seth started walking towards the doorway. “I think we’ve seen enough unexpected underwear choices for today.”

NOTE: Hey guys! I’ve talked to a decent amount of you since the last story and it’s so nice to get to know the people reading these. When I started this blog, I didn’t expect any sort of response so it’s such a welcome surprise. As I started writing this story, I thought it was terrible, but as I was writing the second half I started to really like it. Feel free to tell me what you think!

[ren1327]

Sweater Weather ch.4

Kenji quickly took Ben by the hand and threw out a half assed excuse about needing to talk to Ben.

He pulled Ben outside and led him behind the house and into a small grove of trees.

“Kenji?” Ben asked.

“Stop. Stop talking now!” He demanded.

He stopped and whirled around to Ben, who lifted his arms on instinct to cover his face.

“No! I’m not gonna…fuck, fuck, fuck!” He yelled, grabbing his head.

“Kenji?”

“…I…How…” He looked at Ben and swallowed.

“Pinky?”

Ben paled and took a step back.

“No, no, no!” Kenji said softly, holding his hands up.

“You do remember.” Ben whispered.

“I…I tried to forget. We moved to California and…Ben…”

“Don’t. Don’t say something cause you’re guilty…”

“…Did you almost die?” Kenji asked.

“Dave had a back up for me. He gave it to me in his truck and…” Ben stomped his foot. “Why did you do that? Who are you? You tormented me for months and hurt me and humiliated me and now you’re some wholesome big brother and want to be with your family?!”

“Ben—”

“I was just trying to survive and make sure my mom was comfortable and happy and the stress of all that made her sicker and—”

“Wait, what?”

Ben was crying and scrubbed at his face.

“She was really sick, Kenji…And she wasn’t getting better to begin with…” He said softly. “I knew she was gonna die. Dave knew too and…We didn’t have enough money to go to Seattle. She wanted to see it one more time and she couldn’t. So we moved with Dave back to San Antonio and…it didn’t help. You hurting me didn’t help! Why were you so awful to me?!”

Kenji stared at Ben and in the snow, and he saw the small, slight fifteen year old Ben. With paler skin and so thin Kenji could break him. With eyes rimmed with dark circles and a little pink from crying. In worn down clothes and secondhand shoes. And an old backpack held together by terribly stitched close tears.

But still…when he himself was only fifteen.

He had fallen in love.

He always smelled like basic fabric softener. His grades were always the best. The teachers liked him and he was always so quiet and reserved.

Kenji had asked him for a pencil and Ben had lent him a cheap dollar store pencil with a worn down pink eraser in the shape of a happy face on the end.

And Kenji had fallen in love with those big expressive eyes of his. How pink his cheeks got when he was flustered.

Why did he pick on Ben so much?

He felt his cheeks heat and he realized…Ben was still so expressive and kind. Could he fall in love again?

“I…I don’t know.” He whispered, more to himself.

Ben sniffed and crossed his arms.

“So what now?”

“…Do you want to leave?”

“…Let’s just stick it out.” Ben said. “Get your money and just…”

“I’m still helping you with your shop.” Kenji said.

“What?” Ben asked. “No, don’t do this out of guilt—”

“You needed it.” Kenji said. “From guys like me.”

Ben stared at the taller man as he took a step closer.

“You needed a safe place away from me. And so do other kids. And maybe…Maybe I needed that place too.” He said. “To teach me to be…better.”

“Kenji…” Ben sighed. “Let’s just put it behind us. It’s exhausting thinking back on that day.”

“Ben…for what its worth…I’m so sorry. I swore from that day on I would never treat anyone like that again. And now Carmen..”

“…You swore?” Ben asked, looking skeptical.

“I did. I never want to see anyone cry like you did. Never.”

Ben sighed. “Okay. Come here and hug me.”

“What?”

“Carmen has been peeking through the blinds and if we want to sell this…”

Kenji huffed and shook his head before enveloping Ben in a tight hug. Ben wrapped his hands around the others neck, closing his eyes.

“By the way, your Dad is totally my type.” Ben whispered and Kenji sputtered, pulling away as Ben laughed.

  “Everything ok, boys?” Candy asked when they came back in.

“Yeah. Ben was just finky about his Christmas present.”

“Present?” Candy asked, turning to mix something in a pot.

“Uh, yeah…I uh, planned to get him…a…a…” He looked at Ben who frowned and shrugged.

“A dog!” Ben yelled, panicked.

“A dog?” Candy asked, turning. “Kenji, how sweet! You two are already becoming pet parents!”

“Y-Yeah.” Kenji said. “He didn’t want a pure bred. He wanted a rescue.”

“Oh, Ben.” Candy cooed. “How sweet. You two should have Owen take you to the city to see if anyone sparks your interest.”

“T-Today?” Kenji asked.

“Carmen has been wanting to go into town to get some comic books or something. I’ll give her some spending money.” She said. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“No, we can bond!” Kenji said nervously.

“…Son, you’re yelling an awful lot.” Candy said. “I’ll ring Owen, you go tell your sister she has twenty minutes to get ready.”

“Yeah, sure, come on Ben.” Kenji said, leading Ben into the hall.

When they were far enough, Kenji looked at Ben. “A dog?”

“I panicked and just blurted out something.” Ben whispered back.

“Do you even like dogs?”

“I love dogs! I’ve always wanted an emotional support animal and we can even have one for the shop.”

“…as your investor, I have to agree with this idea.” Kenji huffed. “Studies have shown dogs to help in emotional therapy and with stressed children and teens.”

He was about to go up the stairs when he noticed his sister waiting at the door dressed in a raincoat over a sweater and matching boots.

He chuckled and sighed. “Okay, lets go.”

  Carmen walked around happily as they shopped around the mall.

She had them stop every so often to take pictures together.

“I haven’t seen you take this many pictures since before I left.” Kenji said as they sat on a bench.

Carmen was moving her manga from her shopping bags into her backpack. She folded the plastic bags and put them in a pocket inside her backpack.

“I didn’t have any reason to. But since you’re here, I might as well take as many as I want. Who knows when I’ll see you again!” She said, but frowned. “Oh…I didn’t mean…”

“I get it.” Kenji said and touched her shoulder.

Ben walked up to them with a tray of lemonades and soft baked pretzels. “Hungry?”

Carmen nodded and accepted the food with a grin. “Kenji, you’re so lucky you have Ben!”

Kenji blushed and looked at Ben as he took a pretzel. “I know.”

“I need to get one more thing. Wait here?” She asked.

“Sure.” Kenji said and Ben sat next to him. “Thanks. She looks so happy.”

“Of course. I like Carmen. And your parents are cool too. You have a really great family.” Ben said. “Can I ask…”

DING!

Ben looked down to see Carmen had left her phone on the bench. He picked it up to see a message on facebook.

How sad is it your brother’s so hot and you’re not?

Ugh, even his boyfriend looks like a loser.

Queen Kon looks even fatter than before, lol.

Ben gasped and dropped the phone on Kenji’s lap.

Kenji picked it up and paled when he read the messages.

“Carmen…she’s still being bullied…” He whispered.

He looked at Ben.

“Tell me…”

“She’s gonna feel trapped and scared and try to fight off her negativity. But cyber bullying is a whole other ballgame. If you report them, they’ll just make new profiles.” Ben said softly. “And come at you harder. And you can try to talk to their parents, but most likely, seeing from what class and area they come from, they wont face too much punishment…”

“So what can she do?”

“She needs time for now.” Ben said. “Maybe after all this, we can talk to her about it.”

“Okay.” Kenji said, deleting the messages and blocking them.

  Owen opted to wait in the indoor car park with their coats while they went into the shelter, Carmen excitedly looking at the toys and leashes.

“Right this way, please.” A tired looking man said softly, leading them to the back.

The smell of kibble and wet fur hit Ben first, then the loud sound of the dogs barking.

He looked around at the dogs.

There were so many and it was so loud—

Kenji took Ben’s hand and looked down at him.

“You good?”

“Um, yeah.” He said, noticing Carmen staring at them.

“Guys, look!” She suddenly said and walked up to a pen labeled “Bumpy”.

Inside was a terrier mix with a short crooked looking ear and matted fur.

“Poor thing…” Ben whispered.

“Just got her a bit ago. Not a lot of people want her because of the ear. It makes her waddle since her hearing is a little off.” The employee said. “But she’s really energetic and great with kids. And she’s been here two months.”

He looked at them.

“And two and a half is our limit before we send them to the other shelter.”

“We’ll take her.” Ben said quickly and Carmen cooed as the pup lifted her head.

“Hey, Carm, go pick a few things for her?”

“I’ll throw in some of the food she’s use to.” The employee said as Carmen sped off.

He lifted Bumpy and held her to Ben. “We were going to get her to a groomer. But she never let anyone with scissors near her.”

“I know someone!” Kenji said. “Can we groom her here?”

“Sure.”

  Owen sighed as he finished clipping away the extra fur off Bumpy. 

She now looked like the mix of a jack russel terrier and a rottweiler, short and barrel chested with a curled tail and pointed nose. She panted happily, freshly bathed and wearing a mint green leather collar with a spotted bow where the matching leash clipped. Kenji had made her tags and put the lighthouse as her place of residence, along with a bone shaped name tag with her name engraved on it.

“The vet checked her last week, so she’s good to go. She’s housebroken and good in public places, but I wouldn’t keep her out all day. Once you get home, just let her run around and get familiar with her surroundings for a good thirty six hours.” He said. “Thank you for giving her a home. I think you’ll make each other really happy.”

Carmen was taking pictures with Bumpy, sending them to her parents before she went to pick more toys for her seasonal housemate.

“Yeah.” Ben said as Carmen found a doggie raincoat and boot set that looked similar to hers. “Thank you.”

[bl597]

requested by my dear @whack-ed ♡: "não resisti e vou escrever isso em pt, pq sim kkkkkk. okay, então primeiro parabéns pelos 300 seguidores cara, isso é bom demais! pra comemorar junto eu queria um 🍒. Sonserina, bissexual, ela/dela, teatro/escrever/desenhar/costurar, cabelos e olhos castanhos, o cabelo liso e curtinho. cara, pra simplificar, eu me descreveria com essa musica "Good Girls - Elle King". é isso meu amor, e de novo, parabéns! vc merece <3"

I accidentally posted the request and I had to delete it jssjksskjdjd anywayssss obrigada meu amor!!! 🥺❤ eu ia responder em português, mas me sinto meio estranha já que tô meio acostumada em escrever em inglês sksjdjdkdjk espero que tu goste!! 💕

warnings: just fluff, really. it took me a very long time to finish it because i procrastinate quite a lot hahaha i need to stop doing it, i really suck at writing headcanons maybe i'll start writing blurbs instead of them hmmmm. a few curse words i guess :p, english is not my first language, so i'm sorry for any mistakes! requests are closed for now!!

my masterlist ♡

I ship you with... Fred Weasley!

okay so first of all

you + Freddie = chaos

you two started dating on your fifth year

and you and the twins always pulled prank together

Filch hates you three so much skshdkdjd

you always used the Marauders map - before the twins gave it to Harry - to sneak around in the middle of the night

and if you ever happened to be caught, you always found a way to get out of this

because come on

you probably study theater and you're an amazing actress

so you could always come up with an excuse for why you were outside bed at past cutfew

not that the teachers actually believed it tho

and Fred just thought you were bloody brilliant because?????

how could he not!!

and he always smiles like a fool when you try to convince the teachers that you did nothing wrong

even though the strong smell of dungbomb literally reports you guys

oK

he didn't really like you at first

because you're a Slytherin and he thought you were an asshole just like most of your housemates

but turns out that you're different from them

you're so unique and so you

with all your sarcasm and cheeky replies

he couldn't help but fall hard for you

so one day he just randomly asked you out

and you said yes bc you thought he was cool too

and also bc hes fred fucking weasley i mean?????

so after a little while you started dating

and oh boy is this man the best boyfriend ever

he always flirts with you, no matter how long you've been dating

because he loves the tiny little blush that spreads over your cheeks

Fred loves to cuddle you and to run his hands through your soft short hair

and omg your eyes

he swears he could spend the rest of his life just admiring them

because they're so beautiful!!!

he will always support you

either it's with your passion for theater

or you art

or anything you do

he loves it all and always lets you know how much he appreciates them and you

he loves it when you read the things you wrote

because you write things so beautifully and so wonderfully

and the proud small smile you give him when he asks you to read to him is enough to improve his whole week

he also loves your drawings and how you put your heart in every single line of it

you once drew him and he almost cried a bit

you always cheer for him during quidditch matches

even though your housemates give you disappointed looks

you couldn't care less

you just wanted to support ya boy

ok so

about his family

they were extremely happy for Fred when he told them he was dating

but they were a bit apprehensive when they found out you were a little snake

because of the house bad fame and everything

but he was fast to calm them down and say you weren't like the other Slytherins

and didn't give a shit about blood statuses or some shit like that

so they invited you to spend a week at the Burrow

to get to know you better and to make sure you were a good person for Freddie

and in the very first minutes you spent there

you managed to steal everyone's heart

you got along pretty well with everyone

and they simply loved you almost as much as Freddie boy does

you and Molly would sit down and talk for hours while she teaches you how to knit

she gets even more excited when she learns you know how to sew

anyways

in less than one week, you unofficially became a Weasley :D

Fred loves you and he was extremely happy to see his family loved you too

his family is everything to him and their approval of your relationship was very important to him

~

I ship you with... Sirius Black!

ben barnes is such a cutie

well lets begin shall we

Sirius is head over heels for you

no one can deny it

you'd be just breathing and he'd be like

ohmygod shes so cute hskshsdjdjksajjdjdks

and you two are like the cutest badass couple ever

but at first it was very completely different

simply because you're a snake and he's a lion

and he hated the Slytherin house because of his family

he hated every single person in Slytherin, and he wasn't really ashamed of that

poor baby he deserved a better family than those assholes :(

one day he happened to accidentally bump into you

and he was going to help you

bc his family was shitty but they taught him some manners

but he abruptly stopped when he saw the green in your robes

and he said something rude and left

but you definitely did not stay quiet

so you just argued with him

and told him to go to hell ooops

and he was like :O

and then you left with your classmates bc you were going to be late to Divination

and Sirius was fucking intrigued

i mean???????

and then when they arrived at the Gryffindor common room

Remus scolded him for being rude to people, specifically Slytherins

and told him to apologize for his childishness

and Sirius was like "hahahaha nice joke Moony"

but he realised Remus was being serious

and he was kinda confused bc??? why is he defending the enemies???

anyways

he somehow convinced Sirius to talk to you

which he did, but whining like a child when their parents don't give them a new toy

you thought he was going to say some shit like that day

so you were with your wand in hand, ready to jinx the shit out of him if he did something

that gladly didn't happen

you were extremely confused and you thought it was a prank

but you saw it wasn't

so you accepted his forced apologies

and after some kinda weird moments of you talking

you decided to be not enemies

you weren't friends yet but weren't enemies either

well I'll start the part where you two are dating or else it'll get longer than it already is lol

when you started dating

your housemates were like

what the fuck??

and you just kinda ignored them bc you were actually happy with Sirius

and let me teLl you

Sirius is a smoll bean even though he has this badboy fame

he loves to see the things you wrote or drew

he absolutely loves them and always tells you how talented you are and how proud of you he is

I don't even have to say that you two pull pranks together

you just like to mess around together

bc you like each other's company

and being chaotic is a bonus

i mean, who wouldn't want to pull pranks with Sirius and mess around with him??

when you came out as bi to him he was very supportive and was ready to beat the shit out of anyone who dared to say shit about you or your sexuality

Sirius says lgbtq+ rights and fuck jk rowling

anyways

he was so excited when he transformed into Padfoot in front of you for the first time

and he was so proud of himself when you smiled widely and showered him with questions about it

yay

you always stayed with him after the full moon and helped madam Pomfrey

bc you wanted to see your baby alright :(

Sirius is really into pda and 100% would randomly kiss you in public

just because he can lol

you love each other too much

you're the best couple ever change my mind

[softweebqueen]

👋 hello 👋 I’m new so can I get some spicy sero smut, I saw that you did sero so I was like yess let’s ask, that’s if your ok with it! But thanks a whole bunch!!!👌👌💕💕

~ So I broke this up into two parts because I know I would never post it if I didn’t. So this is the first part and part number two will be up soon. I just am really bad at the spicy stuff so I need so much help from my friends. Also it’s like 3 in the morning while I’m posting it and I have not done any editing to it so ignore my mistakes.~ 

Fun Fact: Characters are aged up. 

The lights were low in the hazy smoke-filled room. The reek of stale beer and burnt out cigarettes swirled around the air burning those nostrils of anyone who walked in from outside. Bodies filled the tables and the booths while music played in the background drowning out the sounds of their conversations. The bar was surrounded by those who had already drunk too much and found pleasure in harassing the bartenders. The occasional single attractive female would find herself sitting on a stool with a drink in her hand but would soon retreat back to her group of friends when approached by the bar’s seemingly endless amounts of creeps. Their hands traveling places where they didn’t belong and their mouths speaking words that no girl would ever want to hear from a stranger. 

You couldn’t help but wonder how in the world you ended up here in the place you hated the most. Of course, you’ve been here before on lonely nights. Those nights were never as busy as it is now. You were unaware of the reason for it being so busy but you were forced into being at this bar by one of your roommates. It was a rare occasion that everyone was able to get together. Someone was always busy or none of you could agree on one thing. This was a difficult task when there are six of you living under one roof. 

Some times you question why you chose to move in with the rowdy group that you call your friends. You would soon remember how convincing your best friend Mina is though. She was the reason all of you moved in together. The reason you put your sanity on the line to live with four boys and one other girl. There were perks to being in the same house as these nutcases though. Katsuki always cooked due to him hating how awful everyone else’s food tastes. Eijiro is surprisingly a clean freak so he does most of the chores. Denki was the idiot of the group which provided everyone with entertainment. Mina is like the house’s personal therapist and everyone’s best friend. Hanta… Well, Hanta was a completely different story. Living with him came with perks that only you benefitted from. 

It started on a lonely night when the two of you were home alone with a cabinet full of liquor. Gentle experimental touches were exchanged that night. It soon turned into late-night texts when either of you felt like you needed to feel something. Your roommates began to suspect that the two of you were sleeping together, however, the two of you would very quickly deny it. There was a time where you were almost caught in the shower with him. After that incident, you guys agreed to be ancient history. Your agreement didn’t last long. The two of you were right back at it within a week, continuing your late-night fucks almost weekly now. He was just so… intoxicating. When you were with him with your bodies pressed together, it was a whole different type of high. There also came along the certain thrill of being able to sleep with someone whenever you pleased without the commitment.

“This is lame.” Hanta Sero grumbled as he sat in the seat to the right of you. “Where is everyone else?” The two of you had been sitting at a table waiting for your housemates to join you for the past hour. You passed the time by drinking more thanyou should have, however, you couldn’t stop due to the tall lean boy bringing drinks back to the table for you. In fact, he had just come back from the bar to place a drink right in front of you. You wasted no time downing the drink, feeling the buzz of the one too many drinks coursing their way through your system.

“You know they probably aren’t going to show up. It wouldn’t be the first time.” You pointed with a small shrug of your shoulder. It was usual for them to be late when all of you would get together. Sometimes they wouldn’t even show up. You didn’t mind the little bit of alone time with Sero though. He is good company even when the two of you aren’t fucking. He is laid back, funny, and has such a calming effect on those around him. 

“I wouldn’t mind some alone time with you. It’s been a while.” You leaned in close to him whispering in his ear. Your lips brushing against the soft spot just below his ear before moving away. A loud familiar voice pulled your attention away from the boy who sat next to you. Across the bar was a rowdy group that you called your friends. The ash-blonde boy arguing with the two other boys. The short pink-haired girl, waving frantically when she made eye contact with you. Her lips were moving but the other sounds of the bar filled your ears. You watched as they slithered between the groups of people just to get to the table. Your eyes scanned their figures. If you said they clean up nicely, you wouldn’t be lying. Mina had to have something to do with it because there was no way in hell Denki and Eijiro dressed themselves. They both looked too good. Not too fancy. But not too casual. Just the right mix that made your foggy mind start to wander places where it shouldn’t. 

“I’m sorry we’re so late! It was impossible to get Ei to change out his damn crocs.” Mina grumbled as she sat at the table, noticing just how many empty shot glasses and pints littered the top. “You guys didn’t wait for us?!” Her laughter was so light and playful that you couldn’t help but grin. Without her, you were sure this group would have fallen apart a long time ago. Maybe not fall apart but you all would not be living in the same house. 

“I couldn’t help myself. You know how I am when there’s liquid courage around.” You admitted sheepishly as your eyes locked with Denki’s. The corner of your lips tugging up into a smirk. Oh, the hell you were going to put him through just for the sole purpose that he was the unlucky fool who sat across from you. “I do have to say that you look pretty good right now, Denki… However, I think you’d look better on top of me.” Your coy smile not matching the words that came out of your mouth. A brief silence fell over the table while all their eyes flashed between you and Denki. The table shifted from the weight of you leaning forward and resting your chin in your hand. 

“Alright… You need to calm down and lay off the drinks, you nasty.” Mina scolded you, throwing a paper coaster at you playfully which you tried to catch but only failed terribly. It was a sure sign that you were a bit tipsier than you’d like to admit. It was the childish smile that you flashed in her direction that made her shake her head, laughing. “Well since we’re all here, I can finally explain why we had to come to this specific bar on this specific night.” She looked down at her phone only to check the time as she spoke. “Here in about thirty minutes, karaoke night begins and we all need to loosen up and enjoy ourselves!” The collective groan she earned from the lot of you only coaxed a devilish grin out of the pink girl. How you guys were stupid enough to fall for such an obvious scheme was a whole mystery. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The night quickly passed by as the hours were filled with chit chat, mindless flirting, and downing a few drinks here and there. Your friends even convinced you to sing a solo but other than that you wouldn’t go up unless one of them was singing with you. Most of the time it was just you and Mina having the time of your lives. The time speedily approaching the early hours of the morning. At this point, you were drunker than the others who sat at your table. Denki had joined in with you when it came to drinking, almost catching up to you but didn’t quite get to your leg. A large portion of the night, the two of you becoming touchy and flirty with each other. As this went on, the lean boy next to you only grew tenser, watching the way you acted with the blonde across from you. 

He had stopped drinking a while ago just so he could keep an eye on the two of you. It was driving him insane. The way you would pull your bottom lip in between your teeth as Denki spoke to you. How you would lean in only centimeters away from the other boy’s face just to say something to him. All the snide and dirty comments leaving your lips. It was really starting to get on his nerves. Hanta Sero knew that there was nothing between the two of you that would make you tied down to him however that didn’t stop the jealousy that rose up in his chest as he watched your feather-light touches brushed against Denki’s skin. You were his plaything and he wasn’t just going to let some ripoff Pikachu steal you away.   

You finally noticed how tense the boy next you was as you leaned against him, holding your stomach as you tried to suppress the giggles that Denki pulled from your lips with a stupid joke that would normally only make you roll your eyes. When you finally pulled yourself together, it was impossible to hide the smirk on your lips. It took long enough for Sero to get so worked up. You were unsure if you would be able to keep up your game with Denki for much longer. Of course, you loved Denki but you could never imagine yourself doing anything with him. He was like a brother to you. 

“A little tense are we? Do you need some help loosening up?” You whispered and leaned in close to the raven-haired boy. Your lips brushing against the shell of his ear while your hand came to rest just above his knee. Laughter threatened to spill from you when you saw the stupid look on his face. He seemed to be frozen in fear. Neither of you had ever been very touchy with each other in public so he had a right to be taken aback by your actions. “Just relax… I’ll help you loosen up.” You purred quietly before laying your head on his shoulder, looking at your other friends who were engaged in a seemingly heated argument about something you couldn’t care less about. 

Feather-light touches brushed against the rough material of Sero’s jeans as your fingers trailed up his thigh, stopping to squeeze gently when it seemed his attention was pulled away by someone at the table. You continued the conversation that you had been having with Denki all the while. Though you drug out your teasing touches, Sero prayed that time would slow down. He wouldn’t be able to control himself if your teasing continued to work it’s way up his thigh. It wasn’t long until all eyes were on him, mouth agape from the gasp that your touch pulled from him. Your fingers brushing against the tent in his ever so tightening jeans, the innocence and fake concern plastered on your face as you looked at him like everyone else only frustrated him more. Tonight was going to be a long night for you. 

“Bro, you okay? Do you need anything?” Kirishima was genuinely concerned for his friend considering how Sero was squirming and gritting his teeth like he was in pain. The raven-haired boy scrunching up as his brows furrowed together, breathing as if he had just run a marathon. If only his friends knew the torturing he was enduring. How the feeling of your hand cupped against the bulge in his jean, applying light pressure as you rubbed him up and down, was driving him so far up the wall that he almost considered bending you over the table. He considered fucking you in front of all of your friends and everyone else in this bar so they knew just how much of a slut you are for him. 

“Hanta… Do you need some water?” Your sweet voice filling his ears as he turned to glare at you, the root of his current problem. To prevent this from going any further, his fingers wrapped tightly around your wrist as he mumbled something about being perfectly fine. He applied more pressure to your wrist as he moved it away from his crotch before letting it go and drop to your side. His head turning to meet your gaze, giving you a look that could mean that you were completely and absolutely both figuratively and literally fucked. 

“I think it’s best to be the time that I go…” You rubbed the side of your neck with a small smile. Your friends now shifting their attention from Sero to you. Pouts forming on Denki and Kirishima’s lips. They began to beg you to stay awhile longer. Stay for a couple more drinks. Sing a song or two more with them. There were many appealing offers however you know if you stayed longer and drank anymore, you’d get yourself in even more trouble. 

“Just one more song. Sing for us one last time.” Mina begged with big sad puppy dog eyes burning into your soul. To deny her request would be like denying a starving puppy a bite of your ham sandwich. It was impossible to deny her request. Even if you weren’t already drunk it would be impossible. The table teetered slightly as you used as an aid to stand up from your seat. 

“One last song then I’m gone. Out of here.” A quiet sigh escaping but you couldn’t hide the smile on your lips as your friends cheered for you.

~ Heh. I promise the second part will have the spice you desire. It may not be good spice but it will be spice. Also gotta tag my favorite Hanta Sero lover @fourteenow ~

[pynkhues]

@mego42

replied to your post

“Tagged by the extremely lovely @gild-and-fire and @xenalovesoq!...”

did you like...literally poke a hornet's nest or something?

Okay, I do actually love telling this story (pls imagine me drunk at a party telling it, because that’s my favourite way to tell it), so I’m caving, haha.

This is extremely long, because it is a long story, so fair warning.

SO, I was living in a sharehouse with five of my friends. We were extremely young and terrible and had no idea what we were doing, and it was a bit of a party house (which is hilarious in hindsight, because I was already part-time guardian of my brother), but it was an extremely fun and a nurturing environment, and while I wouldn’t swap those three years of my life for anything in the world, I would also never go back to them, haha. 

One of the people I was living with was somebody who is still (somehow, after this) one of my dearest friends - let’s call him C. The thing to know about C is that he has a hero complex, and if there is anyone in a fifty mile radius who needs help, he will do absolutely everything in his power to help them. (He now works for the public guardian ensuring the rights of people in the state’s care and I am extremely proud of him, but at the time, he was working for an electronics store, so he had to get all of his helping people energy out with randoms).

Anyway, that’s how he accidentally became the person people would call to get rid of bee’s nests at their houses. This service (which he did for free) travelled around, and suddenly he was being called by construction sites and shopping centres to remove bees nests for them. C was a 22-year-old dummy with a big heart, and would just show up at these sites, throw the nests into a container, and drive away with a car swarming full of bees, and then me and my housemates would get him a beer, patch up his ridiculous amount of stings (because he had no suit or gloves or anything at that point) and try to convince him to go to hospital.

After about a year of this, C decided he was interested in maybe becoming a beekeeper? He felt like he knew bees pretty well at this point, and we were like whatever, because C was (and still is) prone to having little projects (as you can probably already tell). 

So C bought some equipment, and the next few nests he pulled out for people, he kept and brought back to our house.

And it’s fine, y’know? C does his thing with them out in the yard, and we don’t really think much of it, and then C moves out of our house so that he can move in with his girlfriend, and he leaves the bees at our house. 

So suddenly we’ve got three hives in our backyard that none of us know what to do with. 

Over the next six months, we keep trying to get C to take the bees to his new place, but his girlfriend doesn’t want them there (who can blame her?) and he keeps promising he’ll find a new home for them, but a few things happen in his life which makes it hard. We try to be super accommodating, but then some of the bees break away and start building a nest in the fan in the bathroom, so every time one of us had a shower, they’d get pissed and fly in to sting us. 

It was extremely stressful. 

So we’re calling more often, and C keeps promising, but never actually comes to take the bees. 

Cut to: 

Christmas Day 2003.

It’s Brisbane, so it is 10000000 degrees celsius. I was doing Christmas at three different houses that year, so got up at 4am to start cooking. It’s about 6am when I hear a man furiously swearing in my backyard. 

Understandably, I’m stressed.

I look out the window to see a wall of bees and there - in the middle of it - C. 

I throw open the side door, and C runs inside, body already swelling from stings, and I say, ‘what  the fuck’ and C says ‘merry christmas!’ because apparently this was my Christmas present this year.

I get C relatively together, and by this point one of our other friend’s is up and is alternating between hysterically laughing and yelling, and we manage to wrap C up in towels, and he runs back outside. He manages to get all three hives into his car, plus the new nest from the bathroom fan, throws them in his car, and drives away. 

So it’s done, y’know? 

I finish my cooking, grab all my gifts together, am teetering towards my car beneath the piles, only to stop as a tiny little bee flies down and lands on the side of my hand. 

Huh, I think. 

And then I hear the buzzing. 

I am in a BEE TORNADO! 

I drop literally everything I’m holding (five hours worth of cooking hahahaha, RIP) and bolt back into the house. The thuds of bees flying into the windows, lost without their hives, wake up one of my other friends. Now three of us are awake, staring at the swarming bees all around the house. 

The first of my friend’s calls her sister, who picks her up down the street. She wraps herself in blankets and ski boots (once again want to remind everyone it is absurdly hot) and runs through the bee storm to her sister’s car to go to their parents’ place for Christmas. 

I try to get to my car a similar way, but get stung three times while I’m barely out the door so instantly go back inside. 

Two of my other friends (who were dating each other at the time) escape by climbing the fence into our back neighbour’s yard and sneaking around the side of the house.

It’s just me and one other friend.

I call my mum to see if she can pick me up, but it’s 11am on Christmas day at this point and she’s already had too much to drink. I have not let anyone in my family live down their laughter over the phone at me when I told them what was happening, just like none of them have let me live down the fact that I was once held hostage by bees. 

Anyway, my other friend who was still at the house ends up dressing in his motorcross gear and motorbike helmet, and reparking my car down the street for me. I then try to run out only! To be grabbed by the neighbours! Who say “WHAT’S GOING ON WITH THE BEES?” 

They’re all having family Christmas’ in their backyards! And there are bees everywhere! 

I apologise profusely – while getting stung by bees – and tell them my friend will come over and fix it, then I get in my car and call C, who’s in hospital at that point for being stung so badly, and we just resign ourselves to the fact that we ruined multiple people’s Christmas’.

The bees did eventually leave. 

I will say though that the epilogue of this story is that a couple of years later I was driving down the highway and a bee flew into my car and stung me on the eye and I also had to go to hospital, and I absolutely blame C for that too. 

[laurenairay]

Just Let Me Go - A. Burakovsky

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: swearing & mentions of cheating. lots of angst.

Summary: Andre had cheated on you on a roadtrip. Now he was home and it was time to confront him about how he had broken your heart.

Now with a follow-up part!

~~~

Three days ago, you would’ve said you were the luckiest person in the world.

Three days ago, everything changed.

Three days ago, you found out your boyfriend of two years had cheated on you.

You had met Andre shortly after he arrived in Denver. You were born and raised in Denver, attending the local university too, but that year you’d finally moved out of your parents’ house to live with some friends. You’d been shopping in Whole Foods, trying to kickstart a health kick that your housemates all swore they would stick to as well, and as you rounded the corner to find some sweet potatoes, your eyes had landed on an incredibly hot guy looking incredibly confused.

*

“What’s next?” you muttered under your breath as you scanned your shopping list, “Sweet potatoes!”

As you walked into the next aisle, you couldn’t help but slow down a little to stare at the person standing in front of you. Gods he was hot. Tall, great arms, beautiful curls…and a truly adorable pout on a very handsome face. Damn.

No, cute boys are not interested in girls who look like they just rolled out of bed, you grumbled to yourself. Just leave the curly-haired angel-boy to his confusion.

But as you walked past him to get to your sweet potato destination, he turned around, eyes lighting up with hope. Oh god.

“Hi! Um, can you help me?”

Oh god. Cute accent on cute boy. But you found yourself smiling, and nodded.

“I can try,”

The guy laughed, gesturing you towards him, so you walked to his side, heart beating just that little bit faster.

“What’s the problem?” you asked, trying to gain back a little more control of yourself.

“My nutritionist suggested I eat some celeriac...but I can’t find it and I don’t know what it looks like,” he said, smiling helplessly.

You laughed softly, pulling out your phone, starting to type.

“Why don’t you just…not buy it?”

The cute guy pouted. “Because then she’ll know that I didn’t understand when I said that I did?”

You couldn’t help but laugh again, and the guy smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. Ah there it is!

“Here,” you said, showing him your phone, “That’s a celeriac,”

The guy grimaced, making you laugh again.

“That is not what I expected,” he said, laughing as well. “But I appreciate your help,”

“You’re welcome,” you shrugged,

“Maybe I could take you out for coffee sometime to say thank you?” he asked shyly, biting his bottom lip.

Oh wow. You weren’t expecting that. But how could you say no to that?

“Sure, but it might help if you told me your name first,” you grinned, unable to stop yourself from flirting a little.

The cute guy grinned back. “I’m Andre,”

*

And that was that. That coffee date had turned into another coffee date, and a dinner and another dinner, until he asked you to be officially his only a month in. He’d swept you off your feet and you had fallen quickly, you knew that.

And you were happy. So happy. And up until three days ago, you thought he was happy too.

But it looks like you were wrong.

Andre had been away for just over a week, on a roadtrip with his team down to the three California teams. Three days ago, he played against LA, scoring twice, including the game winning goal. Damn that had been an amazing game – you’d even gone over to Mel Landeskog’s house with some of the other ladies to all watch it together. You’d all stayed for a few drinks afterwards too, nothing crazy, just enjoying the celebration together, and you’d left in an Uber with the promise of texting them when you got home so they knew you’d arrived safely.

But when you pulled out your phone to text Mel as you walked into your house, you had a flurry of text messages from your housemates, as well as other friends too. Messages which all contained the same photos. Andre was in a club, with another girl. Kissing another girl. You didn’t realise you had frozen in your doorway, until your three housemates were suddenly around you, all fluttering and flapping.

“He…what?”

You just burst into tears, and your housemates had taken over from there, one of them bundling you to the sofa, while the other grabbed blankets and icecream. Another girl. Another girl. Another girl. Andre had cheated?

You could barely breathe, barely process what was happening. Andre had cheated on you. Andre had kissed another girl in public, and everyone knew. Andre had cheated?

The worst part was, your last boyfriend had cheated too, also publicly, also with a pretty blonde. And Andre knew about it, because you’d both been open with your past relationships, telling each other everything. He knew how much your cheating ex had hurt you, how humiliated you had been, how devastated that betrayal was. And now…he’d done exactly the same thing. Andre had cheated?

And that was three days ago. He was due to arrive back from the roadtrip today. You hadn’t spoken to him since that night. Hadn’t spoken to anyone to be honest, outside of your housemates. There was no way they didn’t know, not with the social media explosion. It was so embarrassing, and you didn’t want to show your face. And you sure as hell weren’t there waiting for him at the airport. Not a chance.

From: Andre

Hey I’m back! Are you home? I haven’t heard from you!

You scoffed under your breath. Yeah no shit he hadn’t heard from you.

To: Andre

Yeah. I’m home.

His next message didn’t take long.

From: Andre

Oookay, can I come over then? I miss you!

How dare he.

Did he really think everything was okay? Did he really think you didn’t know?

You could feel the anger rising in you all over again. No. You were worth more than this. You deserved an explanation before you kicked his ass to the curb.

To: Andre

Sure. Come over whenever.

Your housemates were all out for the evening, and you knew they wouldn’t approve of this. But you needed to do it. And maybe it was best that they weren’t going to be around to see you explode at him. It definitely wasn’t going to be pretty.

It didn’t take long for Andre to arrive. You felt your stomach explode in butterflies as his car pulled into your driveway, but you took a deep breath to keep yourself calm, waiting a few seconds after the doorbell went to open the door.

“Hey Y/N!” Andre said happily, eyes lighting up as he saw you.

Your heart skipped a beat, and you swallowed heavily. How could he act like everything was normal?

“Hey. Coming in?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Of course!” he grinned.

But as he ducked his head down to kiss you, you turned your face away, his lips pressing to your cheek instead. You saw him frown, but before he could say anything, you walked away, letting him shut the door behind yourself. He followed you towards the living room, but you just sat on the arm of the sofa, arms crossing over your chest. You couldn’t let yourself just welcome him back like normal. You couldn’t pretend that there was nothing wrong. You just couldn’t.

“I’ve missed you! I swear this roadtrip felt so long,” Andre said, smiling expectantly.

“Yeah it felt long to me too,” you said shortly.

His smile dimmed a little. You could tell Andre was just getting more confused, but that was only making you madder.

“Did you want to go out for dinner tomorrow night?” he asked hopefully, “Landy recommended this great place he took Mel to last w-”

“What was her name?” you asked, interrupting him.

“W-What?”

“What was the name of the girl in that club in LA? Red dress, blonde hair? You were wearing that blue shirt I bought you,” you said, voice calm and steady, although all you wanted to do was scream.

“I…I don’t know what you mean,” Andre stuttered, brows furrowing in confusion.

But you just shook your head, laughing in disbelief.

“Don’t lie to me! I saw the pictures, Andre! You, that girl, your hands on her hips, her lips on yours. It was all over twitter, Andre. So many people sent me the links. Did you really think I wouldn’t find out that you cheated on me?”

Andre froze, eyes widening. You watched as he opened his mouth, and closed it again, and you shook your head again.

“Wow, you can’t even think of anything else to cover your ass, can you?” you scoffed, clenching your fists as you stood up from the arm of the sofa.

“It was just one kiss,” he blurted.

There. There it was. Strange how his confession didn’t make you feel any better. Instead, it felt like a red-hot knife had slid into your stomach, his words twisting it in agonising pain. But you just pursed your lips, face hard and cold, even if your hands were shaking.

“Just one kiss. Not sure if I can believe that, if you lied to me once already,” you spat.

But Andre shook his head, eyes pleading. “That was the only lie, I swear! Y/N, I swear it was only one stupid kiss,”

One kiss that had been enough to break your heart. A lump rose in your throat, mouth going dry as your eyes filled with tears. You cursed yourself for letting your anger start to crumble, looking away from him as you tried desperately to blink away the tears before they fell.

“I trusted you,” you whispered, your voice betraying you.

Andre’s face crumpled, and he reached a hand out to turn your face back to look at him. “Y/N, älskling…”

“I can’t do this again. I won’t,” you said, interrupting him again, “You know my ex cheated on me, you know how much it hurt…and now you’ve done it too?”

Andre cursed under his breath.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It was a mistake, just a stupid mistake. I swear, I’ll make it up to you,” he begged

That’s what your ex had said too. But it was all lies. Why would Andre be any different?

So you took a step back away from him, the distance already hurting like a sharp pain. Andre’s eyes widened in shock; you took a deep breath to steady yourself.

“I am done. What you did broke my heart. I thought you loved me, and I can’t trust that you won’t do this again. I can’t trust you. So I am done,”

Oh God. There it was. You’d said it, you’d actually said it. Why did it have to hurt so badly?

“This can’t be the end,” Andre whimpered, reaching a hand out towards you, “Please don’t leave me,”

But you took another step backwards, lips pressing together briefly as you tried to compose yourself, eyes filling with tears again.

“It is, Andre,” you said, voice shaking, “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t trust that you won’t cheat on me again, that you won’t lie to me again. Please, just let me go,”

But Andre squared his shoulders, shaking his head, confusing you.

“No,”

“No?”

Andre scowled slightly. “No, I’m not letting you go. I fucked up, I know that. I fucked up so badly and I will do whatever it takes for you to forgive me, even if that means giving you some space. But I’m not giving up on us,”

Tears sprung to your eyes, your breath catching in your throat. Andre’s scowl softened as he took in your shaking frame, how you were barely holding yourself together. He moved towards you slowly, closing the distance that you’d put between the two of you, and gently rested his hands on your shoulders. You froze, making Andre freeze as well, but something inside you wouldn’t let you push his hands off. And with that, you could see the hope that entered Andre’s eyes.

“I love you, älskling, and I am so so sorry. I know you’re so mad at me and I get it. I hurt you. I fucked up. So I’m going to go home and give you the space that you need. But I swear, I’m going to make this up to you,”

You swallowed heavily as his thumbs rubbed back and forth over your shoulders, not sure what to say. He was right, you were so mad. Your body still thrummed with the hurt, the betrayal, the humiliation. But…

“I don’t know if I can…”

“Don’t finish that thought?” Andre blurted desperately, “Just…I’ll go. And you can be mad at me all you want. And tomorrow I’ll bring us breakfast and we can talk? Please?”

What were you supposed to say to that?

Andre saw the hesitation on your face, and squeezed your shoulders gently before dropping his hands. He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, making your breath catch in your throat in a sob.

“Andre…”

“I love you, Y/N. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Andre said, smiling sadly.

I love you too.

But you didn’t dare say it out loud, in case you broke down entirely. “O-Okay. Tomorrow,”

Andre let out a shaky breath as you agreed, pressing another kiss to your forehead before walking towards the door, not turning his back on you the whole way, making you laugh in spite of the situation. He sent you a hopeful smile as he opened the door, eyes not leaving your face until the door closed behind him.

And with that, the last of your strength left you, and you slid to the ground, tears finally falling.