#and when I (re)watched the video
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kris - headcanons, theories, and analysis (a jumbled mess from yours truly)
kris has selective mutism and is semi-verbal: they have the capability of speech, but the extent to which they are willing and eager to speak at any given moment is highly dependent on their current mental state as well as the people around them. generally speaking, kris is not very talkative and infrequently starts or participates in conversation, even when in the presence of people they are comfortable with and when feeling fine; it is noted, though, that kris only ever actively wants to speak and is eager to do so in such situations -- when uncomfortable, kris will not speak unless direly necessary (and even then, their ability to speak is not guaranteed). also worthy of note is how unexpressive kris's face tends to be; they rarely wear anything other than a blank expression. exceptions only occur under extreme, catastrophic distress, or when around friends and family -- kris has been known to laugh, especially since they would like making mischief.
in kris's youth, they had close, warm relationships with their adoptive mother, toriel, their adoptive father, asgore, their adoptive brother, asriel, their next-door neighbor and friend, noelle, and, to a slightly lesser extent, noelle's sister, dess, and father, rudy. while still quiet most of the time, kris would actively want to speak to them on some occasions, and would often be happy to point out things to them (kris is a very observant person, noticing small details in their environment) and play games that had some minor speaking component (such as playing a video game in which comments are often exchanged between players). given their emotional proximity to kris, these individuals knew kris well enough to have a general sense of how they were feeling, even in moments when kris wasn't in the mindspace to speak; asriel and noelle could tell what kris was feeling better than anyone else, asriel especially understanding why kris felt what they did (noelle always knew what kris felt, but often didn't understand why they were feeling it and required an explanation kris wasn't able to provide), and so kris was very attached to them. however, this attachment was wrought with insecurity: asriel was growing up, soon to leave for college, and a well-beloved golden boy; noelle was always leagues better than kris in school, and a darling, endearing girl; kris couldn't help but fixate on asriel and noelle leaving them someday.
unfortunately, a cascade of events eventually pulled the majority of kris's loved ones away from them, including azzy and noelle. dess disappeared, splintering the relationship between kris's family, the dreemurrs, and noelle's family, the holidays; kris and noelle began to grow apart as their families lost touch; asgore was fired from his position as police chief, and toriel divorced him; finally, asriel went off to college. the only close connection kris maintained from their childhood was toriel -- and even if toriel never understood them quite as thoroughly as azzy or noelle, kris was still strongly attached to her and her ability to understand them at all, to the point that, in the absence of anyone else to connect with, kris became very clingy to her. kris has been massively lonely and depressed, fixated on the great time asriel must be having in college and how happy and beloved noelle seemed to be -- while they've been alone, with nobody to truly know how they feel when they're uncomfortable. oh, and how often kris is uncomfortable! basically friendless, constantly sleep-deprived, and harboring a hidden self-loathing stewing in their soul since their childhood… since asriel moved away, kris has been quieter than ever, unable to express the pain festering within. they were never that expressive, but that seemed to have come to a head, with kris becoming almost completely unresponsive to any emotional stimuli. kris seemed completely unfazed by susie's cruel bullying when she joined the class… however, her words seemed to strike a chord deep, deep within them, and they couldn't help but laugh.
since the player has taken control over kris's soul near the beginning of the game, however, kris's verbal "self"-expression has increased. the player can compel kris to speak -- not only in moments where kris would choose to speak themselves, in which the player just directs what it is they are to say (possibly contradicting what kris wants to say), but also in moments where kris would be uncomfortable and wouldn't even be willing to speak at all. the player seems to not have control over kris's facial expression, however -- so, despite having suppressed most show of emotion in recent months, kris now has the chance to take advantage of their ability to communicate their true feelings through their face, and might well seize it… though, why would kris not take the player's manipulation as another sign from above that they will never be understood? why even try? regardless what they think, though, a certain primal desire to be understood overrides any logic or loss of hope: like always, if disturbed enough, kris's face will show it; likewise, if something strikes their funny bone -- or if it strikes a chord deep, deep within them -- kris will laugh.
kris, no matter what, does not like being suppressed, and even if the player isn't hurting them (which can certainly, certainly happen), kris will have some negative opinion of them. they want to be loved and understood for who they truly are, more than anything else in the world, and the player, even if unintentionally, is actively undermining that. if we imagine some alternate timeline, where kris made friends with ralsei and susie all on their own, that friendship having formed at all would imply that kris believes that ralsei and susie either do or will love and understand kris for who they truly are; why would kris become friends with them otherwise? in this hypothetical, kris would learn that they aren't truly alone, and that there are always people to connect and relate to, if they believe they're capable of being understood -- that they don't have to wait forever for people like asriel. however, as the "friendship" kris has with ralsei and susie is entirely manufactured by the player and the game, it is little more than a distant dream. as we control kris's body and words, it's as if kris's self is watching what "they" do from within themselves, looking at the friendships "they" have and wishing they were truly theirs: it is dissociation, a feeling that these relationships aren't real.
at the same time, though, kris desires these relationships as they currently are, even in their apparently empty state, or wants to desire them; kris desires a world in which they aren't constantly craving understanding, in which closeness was taken for granted, in which they were open and talkative, in which, perhaps, they were a different person who isn't such a weird, quiet loser. this is what the player provides; this is what the dark world provides; this is what the game provides. the dark world is a game that kris is playing: it is doubtful that kris summoned the player to control them, but the player's control is what gives kris these relationships, and so, in some strange way, kris might desire the player as much as they hate the player. kris has never been good with people, but now they can be piloted by someone who, via the game (which, notably, is a path ralsei sets for us: the prophecy), follows a relatively stable path in which they must be good with people. chapter 1 always ends with kris being "friends" with ralsei and susie, with kris doing the "right thing", with kris being "happy". perhaps kris can come out of chapter 1, half-satisfied with having lived vicariously through themselves. chapter 2 is largely the same for basically every player, and would perhaps result in noelle genuinely, earnestly reconnecting with kris (kris themselves) through their adventure in the dark world; however, if the player tries hard enough to defy the game's path, they can force kris to do terrible things to people: to emotionally abuse noelle right as she was about to rekindle something with kris, manipulating her into killing someone. this, obviously, would f*ck kris up, the main reason for which need not even be spoken. but there is something more subtly tragic about it all: that the one genuine, non-vicarious, non-player relationship kris might foster through the game -- their faded friendship with noelle -- was forcibly dashed on the rocks with kris's own, puppeted hands. is that not horrible?
no matter what path the player makes kris take in either chapter, kris removes their soul each night (twice during chapter 2) and, shambling like a silent zombie, performs some impulsive, violent act with their knife -- cutting a pie, slashing toriel's car tires, or opening a dark fountain. worthy of note is that the soul the player controls is still kris's soul, and yet they are willing to literally remove their soul, the culmination of their being, to be free of us from a little while. in two of three cases, kris clearly returns the soul to their body; in the third at the end of chapter 2, they hold it up as their handmade dark fountain billows smoke, and it is ambiguous what they do with it. are they gazing at it in awe, or glaring at it in disgust? how much do they need the soul, and how much can they act without it? will they return it to their body? the player, the dark world, and the game are what allow kris to reconnect with noelle -- or break her. in the former case, kris might be opening a dark fountain in the hopes that perhaps more good will come out of this strange system of control at which they are centered; in the latter, they might be opening it to spite the player's attempts at closing dark fountains, in accordance to ralsei and the game's will. true, the path that leads kris to manipulate noelle is one that defies the game's central intent -- but the game still allowed it to happen, tantalizing the observant player with a secret route. or, in both cases, kris just might want to create a dark world where their mother is present, given that the dark world has either brought people closer to them, or left them completely alone…
#melonposting#deltarune#deltarune kris#kris dreemurr#deltarune analysis#deltarune theory#deltarune headcanon#it really is a mix of all three. it was supposed to just be headcanon but i got lost in the sauce#so there's a lot of genuine analysis/speculation here about kris's relationship with the player + their feelings on ralsei and susie#i got a lot of inspiration from vivat veritas's 'a re-deconstruction of deltarune's ralsei' on youtube#linked here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOGKid3_9mc#which framed the light world as viewing the dark world in the same way the player views the light world: as a video game#kris is such a fascinating character. even if i'm wrong about everything (though i know i'm not!!!)#i wasn't lying when i said i'd put that son of a butch (gender neutral) under a microscope#graaaaaghh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need to eat rocks
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I've got too many games I want to play and not enough free time 😭 I still need to finish my BG3 playthrough but since Endless Ocean: Luminous came out I've been playing a lot of that instead. Also just got back into Wizard101 last night. Started playing House Flipper again last weekend. Still need to finish BOTW so I can start a TOTK playthrough and finish Pokemon Shield so I can start on Pokemon Violet. I've been fighting off the urge to start up a new Skyrim playthrough for weeks. My brother just told me that Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door is getting ported to the Switch. And now I'm suddenly feeling inspired to replay DAI... And throughout all of this I'm also playing the hell out of DragonVale on my phone. Someone just pay me to play video games all day please
#and before anyone suggests it: no i cant try to get into streaming#the way i play video games is extremely frustrating for other people to watch ahdjsksl#no one is going to give me money for producing a video where i spend two hours checking every barrel in the map while juggling my inventory#and then immediately give up on a puzzle and just sit in silence for 30 minutes while i look up a walkthrough instead#i need a situation that pays me $200 a day just to be autistic at the screen alone in the comfort of my own home#rambling#a few years ago i made it a mission to play all of the dragon age games and dlcs in order and i did not complete it#i got all the way to inquisition before i quit#i had already played it on ps3 but i wanted to replay on my new gaming laptop and unfortunately my computer decided it was too complicated#and also i just wanted to play as an elf again and i was resisting that urge bc i played as an elf the first time and wanted something new#so i didnt connect to my character as much#BUT ive learned a lot about optimizing my games from getting bg3 to run on my computer#so i think i could get it to handle dai now. especially if i upgrade to ssd like ive been wanting#and i just saw a dai post on my dash that made me daydream about possible characters and i was struck with inspiration#when i first played through on ps3 i didnt know anything about da lore. it was my first dragon age game#i was just doing whatever i thought seemed coolest#so i basically modeled my inquisitor after my dnd oc and then just picked a vallaslin i thought was pretty#and then when it came time to pick a specialization i was just like 'i mean my hand has rift magic right? seems obvious enough'#but now i know the LORE. and the dalish really interest me. and i want to make an inquisitor thats their own character#i didnt want to replay another elf mage bc i thought it would be too similar#but at the same time i wanted to re-experience dai (and experience trespasser for the first time) now that i knew more about the dalish#(with mods that fix the annoying bits where your character seems to not know about their own religion of course lol...)#i was thinking about that and i just got hit with some inspiration#instead of 'my dnd character but with a cool tattoo and rift magic and they kinda roll with the inquisitor stuff bc idk whats going on'#what if i made a more intentional character with a much different personality and their own backstory#theyre still the first of their clan but i know what that means now so theyre not really into the herald of andraste stuff#theyre a devotee of falon'din with his vallaslin and fittingly choose necromancy specialization (tho theyre annoyed by all the maker talk)#they can look cool and goth and maybe they even make some different choices about the well of sorrows 👀#i could keep rambling but im running out of tags gah#anyways ive got lots of ideas now and i think the playthrough would be unique enough to be worth it
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On some level I guess I can understand that any conversation at all on sex/gender, gender roles, and modern forms of expression can sometimes be very complicated or confusing. Gender or sex depending on your term of preference is a loaded term for most folks and carries a lot of meaning no matter who you are.
In general I do think it’s good to foster a culture where it’s okay to question noticed patterns or trends and what meaning we can derive from them and what is or isn’t worth embracing in that regard, provided that it’s specifically and clearly done in good faith and done genuinely with respect to others,
but I feel like a very odd and common talking point in conversations clearly being had in bad faith is positing that a binary trans person, irregardless of any behavior or presentation, is somehow brutally enforcing harmful ideas about sex or gender just by existing under the label of trans person which is sort of a bizarre conclusion to reach
#any conversations about what it means to pass or whether it’s good or bad or neutral to pass is not my wheelhouse. not rly a conversation#I have a take on nor need to have one on#but re the above like. I feel like the base understanding of gender roles is that#gender roles would say maybe you shouldn’t transition#like by virtue of being trans that’s by nature not conforming to rigid and harmful ideas of sex or gender#I watched a video talking about misc excerpts of radical feminism and also specifically trans exclusionary radical feminism and it’s#very interesting when there are shared and agreed premises but wildly different conclusions#I specially say binary bcs nonbinary is a meaningless word in this conversation meaning that nonbinary means so many different things to#diff crowds depending on the conversation. it’s a whole spiel for another day my point being#considering yourself nonbinary doesn’t make you immediately irrelevant to the above#it just COULD be a different conversation depending on what nonbinary means to you personally
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#sebastian vettel#kimi raikkonen#f1edit#f1#formula 1#mine#I know this prob has been giffed a million times already#but it came up on my recommended on yt#and when I (re)watched the video#I got the urge to gif it#also... the first gif I ever made of seb#is proving to be a very convienent psd
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I know people dislike the implications of Shadows of Rose, but consider:
The spirits watch over Rose for her whole life. (Read Left to Right)
#RANT WARNING:#Mia would never let Rose wander off on Youtube or tiktok#Girl HOMESCHOOLED her. She would SO watch PBS Kids with her#With Chris though? Rose probably got curious when not looked after by him or K#And poor Ethan has to watch it all happen... alas; he won't be able to talk to her for another decade.#Miranda usually never pays attention to the real world—but when she does she's either flabberghasted or disappointed#Take your pick in this scenario#Eveline is bored. She ran out of things to do on her stratum after her 6th deathtrap#She hates these stupid videos...but it's stimulation...#this is more of a “canon unspoken” moment but I'm still tagging it as an AU:#RE: Shoulder Spirits#personal art notes:#the first looked better on my phone. The lower brightness probably allowed me to overlook the misplaced smudge#As much as I love Ibispaint's ease of use I gotta start getting into Krita again.#the second was meant to be a doodle-post and uh...well it looks like it at least!#The use of different brushes for each character was fun though :)#Normal vs Airbrush vs Paint vs charcoal :D#ethan winters#rosemary winters#mother miranda#eveline#eveline re7#eveline baker#rose winters#resident evil 8#resident evil village#resident evil shadows of rose#shadows of rose#resident evil#resident evil ethan winters
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hey, so sorry i haven’t been online, i really really overextended myself these past two weeks physically and mentally, and now i’m paying for it by being so sick i can barely function lol
i promise i’m gonna try to be on tomorrow or monday (i have plans on sunday)
i love y’all, thank you for your patience
#( lj post. )#my ribs hurt so bad and that’s how i know when i���ve done too much#you know when you do too much and like your arm or leg is soooo tired that#even moving it a little bit takes like all of the energy you have?#that’s where i’m at re: my ribs/muscles around my ribs which sucks because i need them to breathe#anyways i’m used to this so i’m totally okay but i can’t focus long enough to do anything except watch a youtube video
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was thinking about how i want someone to review cpd as copaganda and i found that the jon oliver team did one on law & order which is basically its parent franchise <3
#yes i am back on my 'copaganda as soap opera' bs#it was fun seeing jon oliver come to the same conclusions i did re: this shit is good tv but it's the most insane propaganda ever#like i'm someone who's not able to turn that off when watching and it honestly makes the viewing experience more interesting bc the whole#time i'm like 'you're crying abt ur trauma but nobody told you to join the domestic terrorist organization tho?? just quit??' lmfaooo#maybe on our trip next week i'll do an impromptu video about how police procedurals are my 'young and the restless' bc they're so ridiculou
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If you're wondering why I haven't posted many clips from today's events it's because I'm salty that Twitch wiped the 50+ clips I made.
#mod talk#''Maybe the problem is you made 50 clips within a very short span of time'' shhhhhhhhhhh#I usually use my own downloader when watching VODs but when I'm doing it live I usually just do short clips#but I was looking back through and Twitch was like ''Nope! All gone!''#Real Cool Of You Twitch#anyways I'm queueing a billion clips I've meant to post for the past few months#until my head cools and I try and re-clip at least a few things#maybe#I also exceeded my daily video upload limit which is stupid because I only posted like 5 videos today#Homophobia never sleeps
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Oppenheimer spoilers below
Christopher Nolan.
You done it again.
I’m sure I could touch on so many things in this movie. I might later, I might not. But leaving the theater I felt so deeply unsettled, and I wanted to touch on that, from my point of view as an amateur writer and someone starting to feel comfortable talking about cinematography (although I have no current plans to do much more than talk about it).
Now I’d like to start by saying that, if you haven’t seen it or it didn’t make that big of an impact on you, this is a long movie. I, myself, am no stranger to long movies and I think it was marvelously done. That being said, my memory tends to leave things to be desired, so while I am writing this rather soon after I watched and digested it, others may have stronger points/counter points/evidence/what-have-you.
With that out of the way, I’d like to talk about one facet of the movie that Christopher Nolan, imo, harnessed in a way that I did not expect. And it wasn’t color, it wasn’t camera perspective, it wasn’t even the timeline.
It was his usage of sound.
From the very beginning, sound has always been a key factor in this movie. In the trailer, the crackling of the radiation detector is ominously present. It is used less frequently in the movie than I had predicted, but when it makes its “appearance” it most certainly put me on the edge of my seat. It brings a sense of gravity to an already serious situation. Engrossed in the movie as I was, I admit the sound mainly made me uneasy because it demonstrated the presence of radiation. Looking back, I can add to that and say it may have also been used as a foreshadowing tool.
Now, I’m sure we’ve all heard sound used a foreshadowing tool. The little girl screaming for help is actually the protagonist with a shadowy past who can’t get the sound of the daughter/random child he couldn’t save out of his head. The words of an interrogation in the beginning of a movie finally get context half-way through when the timelines finally align. It’s been used, it’s been subverted, it’s nothing new.
Except when it is. In my experience, and I am the first to admit that I haven’t seen enough movies of the genre to have a definitive say in the matter, I have never been quite as unsettled or shocked by the background noises than while watching Oppenheimer.
Let me start with the sound that will not leave my mind. Those damned boots. I’d heard it at school pep rallys when everyone would stomp in the bleachers. I had never expected to hear it in a movie about the man who made the atomic bomb. When I first heard it, I thought it was an aesthetic choice, like picking the music to evoke a certain emotion. And while it is that, all of sound is, I never actually expected for it to be from such a central scene.
When the boots were first connected to a scene, a short, split-second, blink-and-you-miss-it shot of shoes-on-bleachers, it was early enough in the movie that I thought it was a flashback of a pep rally at one of his schools, maybe as a boy genius, and I let it go. Later on, when they show the full scene, it’s terrifying.
And then you can’t hear the boots at all.
For hours, all you could hear were those boots in the back of stressful scenes and now that they’re there, now that you can see them, suddenly they’re gone. You know what they’re supposed to sound like, so why would you need to hear them again? And it helps build the suspension, the tension that Oppenheimer is feeling during that scene. And so the next time you hear it in the movie, the next time those boots are stomping on the bleacher in the background when they are in a meeting or an interrogation, it pulls you right back into the stress and horror of the bleacher speech.
And then, of course, you begin to realize that while the timelines had been so well interwoven that it seemed like you couldn’t go two scenes without hearing those boots, it was always a very specific scene, a specific timeline that the boots would make an appearance. Because, of course, in one Oppenheimer hadn’t heard them yet, and in another it’s not Oppenheimer at all.
Another prominent sound that I mentioned earlier is the Geiger Counter (I finally looked up the name!). This is a foreshadowing of a different kind, more physically consequential than mental. This, I believe, foreshadows the heavy losses suffered later in the movie by the radiation poisoning. The blast itself only killed so many people, it was the radiation, as they are so fond of pointing out in the movie, that helped round out the total killed in the bombings.
I’ll admit that it’s a bit of a stretch, but I can see it being a small detail that was added in.
On another note, I’d like to address how Nolan also utilized the absence of sound.
Oppenheimer (movie) doesn’t necessarily have jump scares, per se, but rather I jumped a lot during the movie. More startled with a side of deep-seated dread rather than scared. Any way you put it, Nolan does a very good job of keeping me at the edge of my seat. I’ve mentioned earlier the lack of sound during the bleacher scene (containing about half of the many times I jumped during the movie) so I won’t go into that again.
Another part of the movie where he employs this is the bomb test. This is the culmination of years of hard work, the pinnacle of one of three (four?) timelines. And you can’t hear a thing. You get the countdown (a staple from the trailer), the drop, and then… nothing.
It’s a beautiful flash of light and an explosion but the whole time there’s not a sound to be heard. At first it feels like it’s gone just so you can look at the view and then as you’re lulled into security… the shockwave hits.
I can’t remember the last time I jumped so high in a movie theater.
And it’s used for every time you see the shockwave. Silence, wind, and then a force pushes everything back, rattling the house, whipping up the dust. It’s really iconic imo.
Anyway, I walked out fixated on the noises of that movie. And the cackling of the neon did not help my dazed state.
#oppenheimer#oppenheimer spoilers#spoilers for oppenheimer#I of course say all these things as a jealous writer who can only utilize these faculties if I find a way to write them down#as well as a starry-eyed movie-watcher#tbh the beginning of the movie was a little confusing for me#But I blame that on the fact that I hadn’t seen it before#Definitely one of those re-watch movies i think#Speaking of sound#I would love to see a psychologist/therapist go in depth#on whether or not Nolan’s usage of sound/light/hallucinations were indicative of Oppenheimer’s state of mind#and whether or not it was a symptom of something like PTSD#Or simply an artistic choice that was badly informed etc etc#very curious#if there is a video or article out there about it I would love to see it!!!#Kiki does movie reviews in the tags#Sorry I didn’t really mean to sound like a movie review when I wrote this but it just sort of came out like that#\ (ツ) /#anyway it was a really well done movie#The acting was ph en om en al#and definitely gave me an existential crisis at least once#would see again#and so should you#I may add more to this#but for now#adieu#just yelling into the void
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Apparently my brain really hates when names have A, U, and R in them, because without fail, every time I go to type Arthur my brain wants to spell it “Aurthur” or perhaps “Aurthr” and every time I go to type Marius my brain wants to type “Mauris” or maybe “Maurius” or maybe “Maurias” its unclear because I *usually* notice my mistake by the end because it’s clear to me those ending are wrong. Brain just really wants “AUR” together.
#if you see me misspell those names. that’s why#also im american so i default to pronouncing marius— hang on let me look up some IPA symbols#i pronounce is with this vowel ‘ɑ’ which is the open back unrounded vowel#where as they seem to pronounce it with the ‘e’ symbol which is an english (or at least am english) long a sound.#they say it like the name mary. like ‘marry us’#reasons english needs either more vowel symbols or accent marks#also i am aware the ipa vowels are fucked up but its still the best ive got because even in the same language there are accents and-#dialects and that makes examples hard. i also learned recently that british and australian english has actual long an short vowels.#i knew american english didnt have strut (inverted v) but i didnt know- i mean i kinda did because i had noticed it but like not fully-#understood it. anyway if youve read this far you should go watch dr geoff lindsey on youtube hes great#to be clear we have ‘long’ and ‘short’ vowel sounds in am english. but ‘long’ and ‘short’ are just names. the actual length that we say-#them is apparently basically the same. at least when compared with br and au english.#dr geoff lindsey *just* published a video about this. re: how br and au eng speakers say ‘two o’clock’ and ‘four o’clock’ as significantly-#different lengths. while am english speakers say them the same length. he also touches on a bunch of other interesting stuff#im not gonna fandom tag this i guess#i think its funny though that its arthur and marius since they are both voiced by the same person#oh also i think all IPA symbols should have special names like eng. schwa. and strut. rather than having to be called shit like ‘open back-#unrounded vowel.’ although i do realize that theres a fuck tonne of ipa symbols. i also think each of the names should have the sound it-#represents in it.#im autistic about pronunciation somehow. arent i supposed to be in the… *other* sciences. how did this happen?
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Bro... what happened to my copy of OMORI...
WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE THAT??? I use 2x Resolution, Windowed mode (I have a fear of putting anything in fullscreen). And the last time I played the game, it did not look like that. It looked like that when I booted it up and thought loading a random save might fix it maybe but no.
This ^^^ is an old screenshot from last time I played where there's no unnecessary black void wasting space.
SO WHAT HAPPENED TO IT NOW??? THERE'S A VOID EVERYWHERE! I didn't touch this game for nearly a year bro, I also didn't touch any of my Steam settings so what the fuck is that.
#aria rants#i was thinking of finally revisiting OMORI but i aint playing this game like that bro. the black borders aint even balanced ugh...#its also either that horrendous looking thing or 1x res which is the tiniest lil box i aint playing with smth as tiny as that#also the reason why i have a fear of putting anything in fullscreen is that in the past we had a different pc#it bluescreened once while i was playing osu! and bluescreened another time while i was watching a vid on fullscreen#and no matter what game or even just a youtube video. the moment i put it on fullscreen itll start lagging and freeze for a bit#and i just start praying that itll recover long enough for me to get the thing off fullscreen so i wont have to ctrl alt del#all bad things happening whenever i play or watch smth in fullscreen that i just have a slight trauma of it#so i never play a game or watch a vid on fullscreen at all even in this current pc#cuz ngl even if i had to put smth in fullscreen for a bit my heartrate just shoots up so much id be scrambling to get it windowed#tbf i think our old pc is alrdy gettin in on its years when it started getting problems but the absolute horror it gave me when#it bluescreened for the first time and it just kept going downhill will never leave my mind.#it was also the first time i saw a pc actually bluescreen. it aint even instant. there were glitchy colourful lines appearing#and i couldnt move my mouse. ctrl alt del didnt work either. the lines kept increasing. panicked so hard i called my sister#i dont remember what happened after. dunno if the pc blacked out entirely to show a bluescreen after or if it showed before blackin out#so anyway our old pc gave me some insane pc trauma that i still fear fullscreen to this day
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i was also lookin up the full versions on the KHR songs and i saw that ponycanon uploaded one of my fav endings 3 weeks ago and HRMMMMMM
#ehn txt#ehn rambles#long tags#i have this khr folder i made years ago to put all the khr stuff#from videos to openings/endings to full songs of those to random screenshots i took to the character songs#ive just been listenin and watching them and im HHHH#RE-LIVING EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG#the way how i cried with the last episode and the ending song (Canvas) playing and i was like#'IT'S OVER ???? IT'S REALLY OVER ?????' SOBSOBSSS#i literally refused to listen to/watch the ending for a good while bc i would always get sad and tear up (i was a CHILD SOBS SOBS)#i don't think i ever cried over something ending since when i found out Hamtaro ended also (i was even younger cuz i was BABY)#the cure was watching a SHIT TON of AMVs and reading too many fanfics#anyone remember Vongola Crack ?#i tried to read the manga but it was so hard to find BUT IM SMARTER NOW AND I CAN#it's been 14-15 years since i got into it huh (standing emoji)#im gonna FROW UP#i remember tuning in WEEKLY on this old website to watch it when it was airing and GOD
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hugh laurie is just ...... So ........
#no i've never watched all of house yes i am SURE he knew what he was doing with the poly angle#also doing that in 1 show? yeah ok fine whatever. playing 2 diff roles in 2 diff shows as a bi poly man ???#jashdka a TRI-VORCED and then re-poly-space-married man#and he was stuart little's dad. and my parents went to like a concert/cabaret show he did#when he was touring his ??? album ??????? like ???#shoutout to that post that was random photos of laurie n they were like 'im trying to make him tumblr's babygirl SO BAD'#bc with the sudden renewed interest in and like.... tumblrfying (rasputin video edit) of house md u MAY#be on the path to success i hope ur still around on this site 2 see it whoever tf u are/were
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GOOD GOD i have got to start watching movies again. haven’t watched a movie in almost an entire month i feel sick
#ive been so busy with this stupid video and watching riverdale and wasting my time doing other things and now figure skating is back so it#continues to be bleak as hell re: finding time to watch movies but jesus christ this is not the way im supposed to be living my life im#supposed to be a movie a day girl!!!!!! sometimes multiple movies a day!!!!!!!! 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩#when this stupid fucking video is done im getting back on my grind i s2g#those of you who follow me on letterboxd have gotta hold me to this if you don’t see me watching movies i want you to be cross with me#taylor xoxo
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this guy really did change my brain chemistry
i’ve had NO libido for about 7 months but he’s the only exception i swear to god
#and the fucked up part is. it that when i re watch the show HE DIGUSts me#but these videos on tiktok get my cat going it’s crazy#and this libido thing has been extremely weird i’ve never had this problem for this long
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Katso Ghost - Square Hammer live @ Provinssi 2023 YouTubessa
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PAPA SAID "Suomi Finland Perkele" AT 3:06 I'M CRYINGGGGGGGGG
#lizard-dumbass talks about stuff#the band ghost#suomi#finland#papa iv#I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HEAR HIM SAY PERKELE BUT HERE WE ARE#SOMEHOW I DIDNT HEAR THIS WHEN I WAS AT THE RITUAL AND I WAS WATCHING THIS VIDEO AND JUST HEARD IT AND IM ROLLING AJAJDJFSSKDKFKFJKGJHGJRA#Tobias knows finnish lingo i'm actually impressed#like genuinely#re imperatour#Youtube
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