#and what's worst about all of this is that i have a similar thing in relationships too

[drunkinyourbenz]

YOU DON'T REALLY NEED A BREAK

☆ SYNOPSIS: in which billie is stressed, so naturally she needs you more than ever. unbenkownst to her, she takes it too far. ☆ PART ONE ☆ RELATIONSHIP: dom!billie eilish x fem!reader ☆ WARNINGS: SMUT, use of safe word, angst, fluff, comfort, mean billie, reader is a little bratty, situationship/fwb, angry sex, crying, strap-on, edging, degradation, petnames, name calling (slut, whore, brat, etc.), choking, hair pulling, humiliation, dumbification, toxic dynamic (except less so because billie's realising things hehe), unedited. ☆ REQUESTED: yes, by a bunch of anons ☆ NOTE: y'all read my mind with these reqeusts i was already thinking of writing a part two abt exactly this and you all had the same idea!! sorry this took so long lmao exams are kicking my ass :/ this is very unedited sorry for any mistakes i read it through once and then posted it lmao read part one first for it to make more sense ☆ WORD COUNT: 3.5k words

billie hadn’t texted you in a little over a week, and you almost thought that she wasn’t ever going to again. the last time you’d seen her had ended like all of the other nights, she’d cleaned you up and then left you alone in the silent hotel room. usually, she’d text afterwards, just to make sure you were feeling okay, but there was nothing. the last text between the two of you was when you’d asked where she was when she was late that night. 

the two of you normally hooked up at least a few times a week, and you’d never actually gone a week without her since you started this four months ago.

you thought the worst: someone else had replaced you as her favourite. you’d always thought it would happen, but you thought you might have a few more times before it was over. but from the looks of it, you weren’t ever going to see her again. 

which was fine, obviously. you didn’t care—or that’s what you kept telling yourself. you had agreed to a no-commitment thing when you two started whatever this was, and she could do whatever she wanted. it stung a little bit that she wasn’t doing you, but ultimately, there was nothing you could do about it. 

so when you got home from a long day, thoroughly exhausted, your plan for the night was to hide in your bed and watch 2000s tv shows until you passed out. you showered, taking your time to wash your hair and feeling your tense and tired muscles relax under the hot stream of water. once out of the shower, you changed into some comfortable clothes, flopping down on your bed in relief. you were ready to finally just cuddle up under the blankets like you’d been wishing you could do all day.

about eleven minutes into the gilmore girls episode you were up to—rewatching for the hundredth time—your phone pinged, and you almost just ignored it, but you picked it up with a groan. 

your eyes widened when you saw it was from billie, the last number you expected to text. your heart almost skipped a beat.

billie: come over?

you paused for a moment, conflicted. you truly were exhausted, and it had been such a long day, and all you wanted to do was sleep, you honestly weren’t in the mood for what you knew billie would want. but… it was billie. 

so, inevitably, you ended up at her door. you were still in the clothes you’d changed into the moment you got home, just some comfortable sweatpants and a top—billie wouldn’t care about what you wore, she wanted you to be comfortable. plus, you knew full well that you wouldn’t be wearing them for long. 

you knocked on the door, and it opened within mere seconds, almost as if billie had been waiting by the door for you to show up. from the look on her face, you wouldn’t be surprised. she looked stressed, angry, and desperate. you looked her up and down, your eyes settling on her face. she was wearing a pretty similar outfit to you, sweatpants that hung low on her hips, the “HIT ME HARD AND SOFT” waistband of her boxers peeking out, and a white tank top that you could see the slight hint of her nipples peeking through. her arms were bare and your eyes seemed to gravitate towards the toned muscles there, which never failed to make your brain short circuit. paired with the noticeable outline of her strap in her pants, it was almost too much for you to take. 

you noticed the way her eyebrows were slightly furrowed and her eyes were narrowed in a firm gaze, the frustration was clear on her face. “rough day?” 

she groaned, and when she spoke, her voice had a slight rasp to it, “you have no idea.” 

the two of you fell into silence, just staring at each other for a few long moments. it wasn’t a comfortable silence, it was one that hung in the air around you, a claustrophobic silence. there were words left unspoken between the two of you that poked their heads around the corner but never truly revealed itself, it left you wondering when it would snap, but it never did. the two of you stared at each other for what felt like lifetimes, you waiting for billie to do something, and billie simply savouring the feeling of having you in front of her again. 

finally, she spoke, her voice still holding that same raspiness—which alone could get you on your knees for her. “it’s pathetic that you’re here so fast, considering i ghosted you for a week. you’re just a desperate slut for me, aren’t you? not that you’d be good for anything else.”

the bluntness of her words sent a chill down your spine, this was exactly what you’d expected. why else would billie text you after a week of not talking, if not to use her favourite girl? 

billie continued talking before you could even get a word in, it was like she’d read your thoughts. she leaned closer, her lips brushing your ear as she spoke, “you know i could just call over any of my girls and they’d be here in a heartbeat, and they’d be exactly the same. pathetic, desperate, and begging.”

you raised an eyebrow at her words. you knew what she was doing, trying to wind you up, get you to act out. you had honestly intended to just be her good girl tonight because you were so tired, but you knew she adored it when you acted up. so you spoke with the bratty tone you knew she loved.

“sure you could. but none of them are here now, are they? you called me.” 

the brattiness, especially when she was in a mood like this, made her eyes light up. your brattiness was her favourite thing, she loved it when you gave her an excuse to be harsher and meaner than she was on a normal day. so, when you talked back to her, she lets out a dark laugh. “don’t fuckin’ test me, mama.” 

you let a soft scoff fall past your lips, “or what?” 

“you know i’ll put you in your place, i’ve done it before.” and then you realised, this was what set you apart. this was why you were her favourite. you weren’t afraid to act up, so she didn’t have to be afraid of taking it too far. she could push you, because you pushed her. “maybe you should. you want to blow off steam, don’t you?”

at your words, her lips twitched upwards into a slight, barely noticeable smirk. you knew she would be taking them as a challenge, “you’re gonna have to drop the bratty attitude eventually, mamas.”

“maybe you should make me.”

that was exactly what she wanted—she wanted you to keep going, keep winding her up. she wanted you to give her a reason to pin you down and tear you apart; and you gave her that reason with that simple suggestion.

she took your wrist in her hand, her grip almost painful as she tugged you behind her to her bedroom. the air felt different than it normally did when you were here, everything felt so tense. her entire body language screamed irritated, dominant. but it wasn’t the normal kind of dominance she normally exuded. billie always had this kind of casual dominance that just hung around her, her presence was just effortlessly assertive. this is different, she had a look in her eyes you hadn’t seen before—she was always mean, but this was her normal level of mean times ten. 

she was clearly in a whole new headspace, not one you were familiar with. this wasn’t just dominant, wasn’t just mean, no, it was something else. she wasn’t just a little stressed, she didn’t just have a little bit of frustration she needed to take out on you, this was worse. it was an almost animalistic kind of energy, one that’s so raw, so intense, you knew you wouldn’t be able to walk by the time she was finished with you.

she took one of the belts from her merch from her dresser, shoving you backwards onto the bed and tying your hands to the headboard. she tugged it slightly, making sure it was firm but not too tight. it sent a rush of excitement through you, and you knew she felt the same. 

“gonna use you, mamas,” you knew from those words that she was going to absolutely ruin you, and you could tell by the look in her eyes.

sure enough, no more than five minutes later, she had her strap deep inside of you and was pounding into you at a bruising pace. the strap was bigger than the one she usually used, and it made you ache with a constant stinging pain. she hadn’t given you any time to adjust, and had started as she meant to go on. you were naked and on her bed, with her on top of you, fucking into you at a brutal pace. your hands were still tied up with her belt and the ache it brought only amplified the pleasure. one of her hands had your hair in a firm grasp, solely to make you feel the sting of pain it brought. she wanted to bring you to tears. her other hand grabbed a handful of your ass, squeezing it before letting her hand fall down on your ass in a harsh slap. 

the intense pleasure of her cock inside you and her finger circling your clit was a perfect contrast to the pain her hands brought you, and a trail of moans fell from your lips. “b-billie-” 

a mean, almost cruel laugh left her lips, “god, you’re such a slut.” another slap landed on your ass, “it’s pathetic, really. i mean, i can ghost you for as long as i want,” another slap. “and you’re still at my door in five minutes as soon as i ask.” slap, “pathetic fuckin’ whore.” 

you whined, which simply made her laugh. in her own sadistic way, she was enjoying this. 

this continued for what felt like hours—maybe it was, you had no idea. every time you got slightly close to your orgasm, she’d pull out, tugging you away from the edge. by now, you had tears rolling down your cheeks, and the fine line between pleasure and pain was slowly but surely being crossed. 

“fuckin’ take it,” she breathed. “god, you look so dumb around my cock. all you’re good for, hm? spreading your legs and taking it like the slut you are?”

you whimpered, and she simply slapped your ass again. 

this continued for much longer, and she wasn’t even mad at you for being bratty, not in the slightest. she just needed an outlet for her bad mood, and that was what you were. merely a way for her to release her frustrations. 

you let out a choked sob, your body trembling, “billie, please, i can’t—” 

you knew she wasn’t doing this because she had anything against you, there had been something deeply wrong with her day. she had never been this downright cruel before, and you knew her well enough to know that she wouldn’t act like this without reason. but it was too much, and you weren’t sure how much more you could take. she hadn’t asked for your colour even once tonight, and that thought alone was putting you on edge. sure, her being rough turned you on, but right now it was scaring you just as much. this was darker than you’d experienced in all four months of your friends with benefits situation with her, and you weren’t sure if you liked it. 

you felt the strap hit your most sensitive spot, and you let out a sound that was a mix of a moan and a sob. “billie–” 

“like being used by me, yeah? taking everything i give you like a slut?”

you weren’t sure when you realised that you actually weren’t enjoying it anymore, but it was obvious all of a sudden. it hurt, and not in a good way. you were exhausted from both your day and the sheer amount of time she’d been edging you for. the way your arms had been tied to the bed for so long was making them ache painfully, and at some point down the line, your tears of pleasure had turned into tears of pain. 

you normally had the safety net of knowing that she was paying attention to your signals, knowing that she didn’t want to hurt you. but it didn’t even feel like she was aware of what she was doing, she was so caught up in herself and drowning out her own frustrations. you hated that lack of awareness, it was like she wouldn’t even notice if she actually hurt you. 

she looked like she was about to speak again, so before she could get out another degrading comment, you gasped out, “red, billie–”

whatever half formed sentence billie had been about to say died on her tongue, your gasped words making her freeze inside of you. her mind suddenly went silent, her frustrated thoughts about her day coming to a halt as she looked down at you with wide, almost scared eyes. you’d never actually used your safeword—obviously it was something that the two of you had communicated, but billie had never expected to actually go too far, to push you to that. she was meant to check in on your colours, and she felt an intense pang of guilt when she realised that she hadn’t done that. 

as she looked at you, noticing the tears and the exhausted expression, as well as the way your wrists were visibly sore from being tied for so long, she felt a sense of dread. she was overcome with shame and she didn’t know what to do about it. her breath caught in her throat as she processed what was going on.

“shit, i’m so sorry.” after a moment, she shook herself out of her paralysed shock, she would’ve pulled out immediately, but she was aware that that would just hurt you even more. so she leaned over, quickly untying the belt around your wrists and letting it fall to the ground beside the bed. she massaged your wrists gently for a moment, trying to soothe you. 

her hands moved over your tense muscles, trying to ease some of the soreness. she brushed some of your hair out of your eyes, her touch soft and cautious. “i-i’m so sorry, baby. i never wanted to push you that far.”

you knew that. you knew that she would never actually intend to hurt you, you knew that she wasn’t herself. you didn’t need her to over explain herself, you just needed her to hold you. the hand that had been pushing your hair out of your eyes moved to stroke your cheek, and you could see the intense guilt in her eyes. 

“i’m gonna pull out now, okay?” her voice trembled slightly as she spoke, eyes fixed on your face. 

you simply nodded, hissing slightly in pain as she gently pulled the strap out of you. billie felt her stomach twist at your obvious pain, knowing that she had done that. “i know, i’m so sorry.”

once she was out of you, she climbed off you and gently shifted you so you were sitting further up the bed, propped up on the pillows slightly. her mind was clearly racing with what she could do to help, “do you need anything? water, food, whatever?”

you shook your head softly. if your brain hadn’t been so exhausted, you probably would have thought more rationally about this. but you didn’t, and you didn’t once consider the limited affection in your dynamic. “can you just hold me?” 

billie didn’t hesitate, she just nodded instantly. “yeah, of course i can.” she joined you further up the bed, pulling you into her arms. she held you against her chest gently, her fingers soothingly running through your hair while her hand rubbed your back softly. 

you could hear her heartbeat, it was fast and a clear reminder of how stressed she was. you spoke softly, “it’s okay, seriously.”

but it wasn’t okay, not to billie. she had hurt you, she had pushed you too far, even when you were already clearly tired. she should’ve known better, and the guilt was weighing down from her and eating her up from the inside. not to mention she was terrified that this might be your last straw, that you might never want to see her again, that she might have broken your trust. wondering why she cared so much about her casual fling’s feelings was something that would have left her perplexed on any other day, but it was not currently at the forefront of her mind. “but–”

“it’s okay.” you said firmly, “i wouldn’t be asking you to hold me if i was uncomfortable around you.” 

those words seemed to ease billie’s nerves slightly, and she tightened her arms around you, holding you close. after a few minutes of this, she gently pulled you to sit in your lap, and you shifted so that your head was buried in the crook of her neck. you could feel her breathing on your skin, and you could feel her chest rising and falling with each breath. it was incredibly grounding, the feeling of just being close to her. ever so slowly, you felt your breathing calm and your heart rate slow down. 

at least an hour passed as you were just laying there in her arms, your breathing syncing with hers as her fingers ran through your hair. it was a foreign thing, for the two of you to be this close without sex, but it felt so right. it was like you were made to be in her arms, despite the situation that had brought you here. you could sense her guilt, and if you’d been a bit more aware of what was going on, you probably would’ve realised that there was something more behind that guilt—something deeper than just feeling bad for pushing you. but you were unaware, it wasn’t really what took place at the front of your mind. 

the room was filled with only the sound of both of you breathing, and your mind was taken over by the calming feeling of her playing with your hair. after a while, she broke the silence. “d’you wanna borrow something to wear?” 

you couldn’t deny that you liked the feeling of this skin to skin contact, but you also knew that it was a good idea. so you nodded quietly, and she delicately lifted you off her lap and set you down on the bed. she walked over and grabbed you an oversized t-shirt to wear, and she walked into the ensuite to grab a damp cloth. she came back over and gently wiped your thighs with the cloth, at this point you didn’t flinch too much because it had been so long. she held out the t-shirt, which you recognised as one she had worn at some point.

“arms up, darling.” that was a new pet name, but you didn’t comment. instead, you just lifted your arms and allowed her to slip the top over your head. it smelt like her, which somehow just added to the comfort. 

soon enough, she was back on the bed and you were back in her arms. she was laying down and you were laying with her, partly on top of her and partly just cuddled up to her side. this hadn’t happened before between the two of you, but you certainly weren’t complaining. her bed was comfortable, and her arms around you felt like a cocoon you never wanted to grow out of. 

gradually, your breathing started to slow as the exhaustion caught up on you, both from the recent events and your already tiring day. your head slumped onto her shoulder as a yawn fell from your lips, to which billie smiled softly. 

“do you want to stay the night?” 

that was not something you’d ever expected billie to say, but you hummed softly against her shoulder. “if that’s okay, yeah.”

you could’ve sworn you heard a sigh of relief from billie, “of course it’s okay, please stay. i want you to stay.” 

and so you did. you stayed that night, wrapped up in billie’s arms. it was so new, but it felt so right. that night had been an irreversible shift in your relationship, for both obvious reasons and more hidden ones. you knew that the two of you would have to talk about some stuff in the morning, and you knew you’d have to set some more boundaries. but you also felt closer to her than you ever had, somehow. 

little did you know, that night was just as  meaningful for billie as it was for you. she had had a revelation, one that she would likely keep to herself for a while, although there was no doubt you would find out eventually. 

but there was no doubt that billie wanted you to stay, longer than she’d ever thought.

[libraryofgage]

@skullrockbi i hope you don't mind that i wrote a little thing this idea literally haunted me in my dreams and became my paralysis demon (affectionate)

---

Steve didn't even want to go to Vegas. He got dragged along because he's technically an executive-to-be and this whole trip is some networking/ass-kissing venture to secure that executive position. He doesn't know what the point is when his mother owns the company, but here he is.

Worst of all, this trip was scheduled for the summer. In Las Vegas. A literal desert.

Steve isn't some newbie when it comes to Vegas; he's got some family out here that he used to visit every summer. In fact, he'd rather be awkwardly catching up with them right now than standing in front of the Bellagio fountain surrounded by...friends...he guesses.

Honestly, he'd trade just about anything to be back home right now, sprawled across his couch with Robin and a box of pizza.

"Let's visit the Venetian next," Jackson says, grinning as he watches a pair of girls walking by. His eyes linger on their asses, and Steve elbows him roughly.

"Is the casino good?" Eric asks, tugging at the collar of his polo to air out some of the heat.

A breeze pushes by, ruffling Steve's hair in the wind. He huffs, running his fingers through it as the fountain begins its water show. A chorus of oohs and ahhs and camera noises start around them as a cool mist lands on the back of Steve's neck.

"Does it matter? A casino's a casino," Phineas replies.

It does, in fact, matter. Steve bites his tongue, holding back the urge to explain that some casinos are better than others. He's not going to gamble anyway. He's just going to watch the others spend their money and try not to cringe when they jokingly ask him to lend them more from his endless supply.

"Great, Venetia--"

Jackson is cut off by some guy shoving him and Eric aside. The guy completely ignores the offended noises and shouts, coming to a stop right in front of Steve.

He's wearing leather pants and a slightly cropped shirt for some band that sounds vaguely familiar from Robin's ramblings about up-and-coming musicians. Chunky rings decorate his fingers, and Steve tries very hard to not get distracted by them. His hair is wild but utterly defeated by the dry heat of Las Vegas and a subpar shower routine.

Steve opens his mouth to ask what the guy wants when he drops to one knee, staring up at Steve like he's some kind of deity sent from above. "Will you marry me?" he asks.

His voice is rough, like he spends most of his time screaming. Maybe he does, considering the band shirt. A few feet away, Steve can see three other guys in similar outfits sporting the pained grimaces of second-hand embarrassment.

"Are you drunk?" Steve asks.

"On love."

Ignoring the mocking laughter from around them, Steve finds himself inexplicably saying, "You don't even have a ring."

The guy blinks, curses, and quickly yanks one of his rings off. He holds it up with a grin, his cheeks slightly flushed as he asks, "How about now, big boy?"

The ring is shaped like a bat with rubies for eyes and diamonds for fangs. It's so ridiculous that Steve finds it endearing. The guy is being genuine, and that combined with the nickname makes his cheeks warm.

"You don't know my name," Steve says. "I don't know yours."

"Eddie Munson, but I'm not attached to Munson if that's an issue."

Steve can't help laughing, pushing his fingers through his hair again. He watches Eddie's eyes track the movement, his lips slightly parted as though he's breathless from something so innocuous.

He's about to introduce himself and tell Eddie to stand up already (that can't be good for his knees), when Phineas nudges him. "Steve, man, knock it off. You aren't gay," he says, his lip curling in slight disgust at the word.

Steve feels something in him snap, some tight hold on his control just giving up. He has a sudden realization: he hates his job, he hates his coworkers, and he hates who he is around them. He's just never done anything about it.

On the other hand, he finds himself utterly enamored by Eddie's clearly impulsive audacity to approach some random guy on the street and ask for his hand in marriage.

He ignores Phineas and looks back at Eddie. "Why?" he asks.

A hopeful smile tugs at Eddie's lips, and he starts to fidget with the bat ring. "Honestly, you're gorgeous. I've literally never seen anyone as pretty as you, sweetheart," he says.

"Can we have a chuppah? And break a glass?"

"I'd marry you in a vat of tapioca pudding, Stevie."

Steve snorts and reaches out, tugging on Eddie's arm to pull him up from the ground. "Let's just stick to the chuppah and glass," he says.

"Wait, is that a yes?"

"Well, it's not official until you put the ring on," he says, offering Eddie his left hand.

With a shell-shocked awe like he didn't think this would actually work, Eddie slides the ring onto Steve's finger. It's an odd, unexpected weight, but Steve likes it.

Corroded Coffin are celebrating an album release in Vegas. Eddie gets bored of the VIP area at the club & wanders The Strip. Standing at the Bellagio fountain is the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. Eddie pushes past some douchey looking dudes in business casual to reach him.

Eddie falls to one knee. “Will you marry me?” Steve who is bored with his business man life and hates his friends takes one look at this random proposing man with wild hair and leather pants and says “Yes.”

[bramblebeau]

Alright I told myself I wouldn't interact with fandom when s2 came out, and I haven't and don't plan to except to say this about people deciding Caitlyn is the Worst or that the writing is OOC.

As someone who has had a family member violently killed, I cannot stress how much it shakes up everything you thought you were and stood for. My beliefs in proportionate compassionate justice and the rights of all human beings are some of the strongest I have (stronger now because of the way that experience affected me personally), but they were pushed to the absolute limit when it came to an individual who had killed my loved one, showed no remorse, and laughed in our faces outside court, among other things.

People generally like to believe it wouldn't be them or their peace-loving family members being talked down from seriously considering violent revenge, consequences be damned. People like to believe they wouldn't lash out at people closest to them under that pressure, that they wouldn't build walls around the kindest and most sensitive parts of themselves because those parts are the ones feeling pain you never thought possible, that they wouldn't stalk the killer, make notes on all their family and friends, and fuck up their hands punching walls in anger wishing so badly it was flesh and bone because they can't handle the fact that there's no way to turn back time to stop it all from happening. People like to think they're "better" than that. But the reality is messy and painful as hell.

With Caitlyn, she has the added guilt of having actually had the opportunity to stop Jinx before she fired the rocket, but she hesitated just long enough for it to result in the deaths of her mother and other councillors and in the cities being plunged into chaos. Not only that, but the person close to her she's lashing out at is the person who caused her to hesitate, and just so happens to be the sister of the killer.

Furthermore, her behaviour is entirely in character. We have seen her set up as someone who becomes obsessed with achieving a goal and will do pretty much anything she wants to get there. In S1, we agreed with her methods because her goal was exposing and taking down Silco, and because it led to Vi being released. In S2, she's doing a similar thing but it's fuelled by fear and a type of pain she doesn't know how to deal with, rather than being fuelled by a need to prove herself and solve a case, and it leads to her making morally questionable decisions and to hurting Vi. She admits herself, albeit privately to Vi, that she does not know what she's doing and doesn't know how to fill this hole in her chest (and the hole in the city leadership). She has been sheltered from the real world for almost all her life, and as a result she has no experience of functioning or making decisions under this kind of pressure. The real world blew up in her face in the worst way and she was given power and a loaded rifle, and then shoved into an even more elevated position by a very experienced warlord who is manipulating the shit out of the whole situation.

I'm not saying that you have free rein to hurt people when you're grieving and facing extreme stress. (If you think that's what I'm saying then idk I'm not sure there's much hope for you in terms of critical thinking skills). What I'm saying is that Caitlyn is exhibiting pretty normal human behaviour that most people would be susceptible to in those circumstances, not the behaviour of someone who is some kind of heartless abusive bastard.

TLDR: Caitlyn is being written in a way that completely makes sense and is also not OOC, and if someone told me there would be no chance of them reacting in similar ways I simply would not believe them.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Four sighed, taking a sip of his beer as he looked at the embers glowing and crackling in Time’s fire pit. “I hate seeing people in pain and not being able to do anything about it.”

Sky glanced at his friend, wondering where that statement came from. Nobody said anything for a moment, and then Legend piped up.

“Yet you chose to work in a surgical-trauma ICU where everyone is in pain all the time,” he quipped with a little playful smirk to take the edge of the sarcasm.

Warriors snickered, leaning back in his chair, beer bottle held lazily between his fingers. Sky almost laughed at the sight of it, recalling that he and Hyrule had been refilling the bottle with water after their friend’s first drink. The army nurse hadn’t commented on the matter.

“Oh shut up,” Four laughed as well. “I know I set myself up for this. But I… I wanted to help. And I wanted to do nursing that made me feel like I was thinking through puzzles and able to focus on as few patients as possible so I could really get into taking care of things. And I like the thrill of it. But…”

He trailed off a moment, looking around at the group relaxing by the fire pit. Twilight paused briefly in the act of throwing another log on the fire, glancing at Four, before finishing the action, sending sparks showering into the air briefly. Time and Malon watched Four quietly, bundled together under a plaid blanket, Malon’s head on Time’s shoulder. Warriors perked up from his slumped position, head tilting towards the ICU nurse while Legend’s playful smile faded. Wild and Wind paused from eating their s’mores to give Four their attention while Hyrule sat up from where he’d been laying in a burrito of blankets on the grass.

Sky watched Four try to ask what he wanted, and as much as he wanted to prompt his friend he knew to wait.

“Does it ever get better?” Four finally asked. “The compassion fatigue. I’ve only been in nursing a short while and I can already feel it. Am… am I done?”

Sky bit his tongue, remembering when he’d asked Legend a similar question. But Sky had been through a war and had been flying sick, injured, and dying patients for years now. Four was still a fairly new nurse, wasn’t he?

He supposed it didn’t matter. Everyone’s exposure and experience was different. Four very clearly was uneasy about this.

Warriors spoke up first, sitting up. “It comes and goes, buddy.”

“Sometimes you just have to stop and remember they’re people,” Legend added. “We… you know, when everyone’s worst day is your workday you have to shut it off. It’s not…”

“We have to protect ourselves,” Sky picked up for his dear friend. “We suffer when they suffer. But if you let it get to you then you can’t focus on helping them. You’re not a bad person for doing that. For…”

Well. Were they bad people for feeling nothing when their patients were in pain?

Honestly, Sky knew there wasn’t a single person in this group who felt absolutely nothing. They just redirected what they felt into something else. Dark jokes to make a bad situation funny, frustration to turn strong emotions into rambling with coworkers… they all felt it somehow.

But it did make it hard to remember who they were taking care of sometimes.

Sky was grateful he just flew his helicopter. He wasn’t sure he could tolerate much more exposure than that, honestly.

“I don’t know if it ever gets better,” Warriors finally said. “It’s kind of just something you learn to live with.”

“I’ve seen nurses who have all the compassion in the world,” Twilight noted. “But I also have no idea how they do it, honestly.”

“Oh, you mean like you, Mr Biggest Bleeding Heart in the Room?” Legend remarked. “I bet you’re everyone’s favorite CNA over there. I don’t know how the hell you deal with sick kids day in and out.”

“It’s a lot easier when you’re the tech walking in and out of the room instead of the nurse responsible for that kid’s life,” Twilight argued mildly. “I mean, I do get attached and I want to take care of all of them, but I’m also so spread out it makes encounters shorter. So like… I don’t know, not as much burnout I guess. Except for the chronic kids.”

“Well, techs make a hell of a difference,” Four noted. “I’d be so screwed without you guys.”

“Back to the point,” Twilight frowned, waving a dismissive hand. “I’m sure even the kindest nurses have moments when they just can’t let themselves get hurt anymore. You’re not a jerk for being worn out from constantly watching people suffer.”

“What’s important, love, is getting out and having moments like this,” Malon piped up. “You boys all tend to self isolate when you’re not working, and all that does is make work your entire life. Take time for yourself but go out in the world too. We’re all here for each other. That’s why we had this tonight.”

Four sighed a little, glancing down at the fire. Sky elbowed him teasingly, smiling. “Hey. You can’t be any worse than Legend.”

The travel nurse perked up, face flushing and eyes wide with irritation as Warriors wheezed. “HEY!”

Everyone started to laugh while Legend rolled his eyes and threw his hands in the air. But Sky knew it was just theatrics; after all, he and Legend had talked about this very thing a few weeks ago.

Healthcare broke people. They all knew that. But a little crack here and there could be supported, one person holding the other up. Sky wasn’t sure how long any of them could last in any one area, but he knew they’d try to make it work.

[imabillyami]

Oh man, look at Jeys' body language with Roman in the ring. There is so much healing that needs to be done

Most definitely. Buckle up, this is about to be a long one about all the nonverbal stuff that’s going on 😂

What I find extremely interesting/ have found extremely interesting in recent episodes is the blocking of the Bloodline scenes, especially the positioning of all the characters which I’ll get to in a minute.

Let’s focus on last night and start off with the entrances.

First of all Jey’s and also Sami’s entrances are a lot more demure and toned down as of right now. Barely any interaction with the crowd, no posturing, nothing.

But even Roman’s entrance is a lot more toned down from what it used to be. Plus he’s getting his own mic these days. That’s not something that’s done by accident. Of course Paul isn’t there, but even then he could make Jimmy do it. He doesn’t though.

Next: The timing of Jey’s entrance right as Roman was about to do the whole “acknowledge me” spiel. That speaks for itself too.

Sami’s entrance before Roman gets a chance to get a word in.

Then the fact that all their entrances except Jimmy’s and Roman’s are still separate from each other. It worked for this first segment on Smackdown perfectly obviously. And it worked on Monday for Sami, Jey & Jimmy too as a way to structure these segments. But I firmly believe it’s more than that. It’s very telling in terms of the lines that are still drawn and the separation that exists between all of them still, especially Jey and Roman, but also the twins.

I wouldn’t be surprised if that changed now that they’re all reunited (or if it changed progressively over the next few weeks as trust is regained between them and they become an actual team again. By the time WarGames rolls around I feel like they should make their entrance as a united front, just like Solo’s Bloodline does, even if it’s just for one night and they go back to their singles entrances after that.)

As for the blocking/ character positioning in the first segment:

Jimmy is always at Roman’s *left* flank, just like old times, positioned behind Roman at all times, with Roman comfortably having his back to him. There’s deep trust and a bond there and he knows Jimmy will have his back now that he’s proven his loyalty all over again and stuck with Roman through the worst. Jimmy has no problem acknowledging Roman as the leader still and following his command, hence why he’s always at his hip, but still always a step behind him.

He’s also the one who’s trying to make peace between Jey and Roman (though he’s still extremely protective of Roman when it comes to Sami. Sami might’ve proven his boundless loyalty in regard to Jey, but not in regard to Jimmy and Roman and that’s not lost on him), but he’s aware that it’s all very fragile hence why he’s staying at Roman’s flank to have his back if things go awry.

Roman doesn’t see him as Right Hand Man as he did with Jey though, cause again, Jimmy’s position is always still the left flank (except for when they’re watching Jacob’s promo, but by the end of the segment they are back to normal). This could have meaning in terms of how this time around he’s more willing to treat Jimmy (and ultimately Jey and Sami) as actual *family* and not as his lackeys or it could be cause they know they need Jey in that spot to be complete again and intentionally keep it open. Who knows.

Now. Roman and Jimmy are in the ring, Jimmy a step behind Roman at his left flank. Cue Jey’s entrance music and them looking into the audience. But no. Jey comes down the entrance ramp, tense shoulders and body language, none of his usual crowd interaction, laser focused on the task at hand. This is serious business.

Meanwhile Roman and Jimmy now stand with their backs turned to the commentary desk, arms in a similar position to each other in front of their bodies, still somewhat blocking Jey out.

Jey barely turns his back to them, only long enough to get a mic. When he does, Roman stays in position, but Jimmy turns around with Jey, providing both Roman and Jey with a sense of security that they don’t feel with each other yet.

Jey stands sideways, turned half to them, half to the entrance ramp, until he addresses Roman, but his body still doesn’t fully turn towards Roman and there’s still a good bit of distance between them in that ring. When Sami’s music hits he positions himself right back into that half/half position, arm outstretched towards Sami in invitation and encouragement.

Sami, tense and extremely reluctant of course, doesn’t step into the ring until Jey stands fully “by his side” and opposite Roman, blocking him off - physical reassurance that he has his back. And once Sami’s safely in the ring and Roman (or Jimmy) hasn’t done anything stupid he goes in for the hand clap - tummy pat - mic handover combo, before standing sideways between both parties, rubbing his hands, clearly extremely nervous and aware of how much this can blow up any second.

Meanwhile Jimmy has crossed his arms, making clear that he’s still not a big fan of this, but that he’ll let it play out for now.

Roman is just his usual picture of WHAT THE FUCK lol. That man’s facial expressions are everything 😭😭 He also hasn’t taken his eyes off of Sami once.

When Sami starts speaking, he’s hunched over and tense, but he’s looking straight into Roman’s eyes to tell him that he didn’t kick him on purpose. (Flashback to WarGames two years ago when Roman looked into Sami’s eyes for the truth. Roman is big on eye contact and Sami knows it.)

Roman’s barely noticeable nod. Jey’s very obvious shuffling around as Sami continues on. (Meanwhile Jimmy has given up the crossed arms - an off-camera reaction to Sami’s words?)

Sami grows taller, giving up his hunched over position the more he talks about the four of them together, meanwhile Jey is looking back and forth between them, unable to stay still.

Roman’s face is unreadable. Until Sami uses the word “FAMILY”. Then that little snarl is right back on his face. Funnily enough that’s when Jey crosses his arms (god they are so good at this game of nonverbal communication 😭 CINEMA!)

I can’t get over Jey’s little nodding along to “Jey felt it” 😭 (Like… “yup yup the hubby is telling no lies”). Also, notice how Sami’s slowly inching away from the ropes, closer to Jey and therefore closer to the others?

Another facial reaction from Roman at the “I think you love me.” - Blink, blink, look away, look anywhere but not at Sami - Jey saying something off-mic (thanks Carla!!) and looking amused, Jimmy trying not to smile.

“Jey in the backseat hater of the year” - now it’s just a contest of who’s gonna crack first 😭 Jimmy and Jey are smiling already, Roman is desperately trying to keep his composure lol. There’s that old magic again.

“I’m gonna put the ball in your court.” Aaaaand we’re back to serious. Jey’s crossing his arms again, closer to Sami than ever, almost ready to hold him back if he does - in fact - leave.

The crowd says “noooo” and Roman is confused by their reaction. ‘They want this fool with us?’ - But then the little knowing smirk again as the crowd pops. Flashbacks to the Honorary Uce. - The mistrusting eye-crunch as Sami says “I’ll do it.” By now Jey is basically standing by Sami’s side completely as Sami makes his one demand. He’s got Sami’s back on this, no matter what.

“Apologize.” And again, Roman’s face tells you everything you need to know. You see the exact moment where he goes from ‘that’s fucking ridiculous’ and ‘really, Jey? This is what you bring me?’ and ‘he can’t be serious, Jimmy’ to ‘NEVER GONNA FUCKING HAPPEN’

Sami’s surprise at Roman thinking that the apology is for *him* speaks volumes. So do Jey’s eyes and facial expression when Sami makes it clear the apology is for him. That man is SHOOK. He also knows it’s going downhill from here. And so does Jimmy in the background. Just look at their faces. They know their cousin.

You can see it right on Jey’s face that he doesn’t believe for a single second that he’s gonna get that apology from Roman. He knows it even as Roman utters the words “I’m sorry” and Sami smiles. Cause Jey knows Roman best.

“I’m sorry that I ever let you waste my time with this.” That’s not even disappointment on Jey’s face. That’s just plain resignation. He can deal with that. That’s Roman being Roman. He can also deal with rubbing his temples from stress until he reaches brain matter.

What he can’t deal with is Roman insulting Sami like that, turning his back and treating Sami like a waste of time now that Roman doesn’t perceive him as a threat anymore.

What he can deal with even less is Sami walking out on him. He understands and he supports his walking out after what just went down, their connection remains as strong as ever, but he’s not happy with Roman’s blatant dismissal of Sami.

Roman calls out Solo, but Jey doesn’t care. His first priority is making sure Sami is okay. Husbands indeed.

And then Jacob interrupts. At the right time honestly. Telling Roman that he’s no longer “that bitch”. And I do feel like Jey would’ve confronted Roman right there and then and walked out right after Sami if Jacob hadn’t interrupted (if the way he gripping the rope, looking wistfully at Sami who’s looking back, and the way he glowers at Roman in that final shot is any indication).

He’s very clearly not standing with them after this. And he’s royally pissed off.

And then that backstage segment. Roman clearly walked out on them first with Jimmy running after him, but Roman is too irritated to let him catch up. And then Jey steps up to him. And he’s still not willing to talk. His body language is so damn dismissive, he’s had enough.

But like hell if Jey’s giving him a choice on the matter. He’s no longer afraid to put hands on Roman and demand respect and attention, to Jimmy’s and Roman’s surprise. (Thinking back to another ask I answered a while ago about Jey not being the same person he was before he left and Roman & Jimmy needing to accept and acknowledge that or it’ll cause even more tension.)

Roman’s intimidation and entitlement don’t work on a pissed off Jey Uso anymore and the sooner he learns it, the better. Roman is in a position where he needs Jey more than Jey needs him and I think deep down he’s aware of that, even if his own trauma and his ego don’t allow him to accept it yet.

Jey calling Roman out like that was everything to me. I love how protective of Sami he gets, just like Sami gets protective of him. You hurt one, you hurt both. Sami is his ride or die now. (And I know the segment was mainly Jey and Roman, but we shouldn’t ignore Jimmy’s facial expressions either.)

But what I loved about this even more than Jey standing up for Sami? Jey standing up for himself and meaning it! “That’s your one pass, uce!” And then walks off to go find Sami. Not because Roman told him to, but because he *wants* to.

And then Jimmy, oh precious Jimmy tries to reason with him and fix things like he always does and Roman, stumped, irritated, overwhelmed, lashes out at him too, and Jimmy walks (but not in the same direction as his brother).

And Roman is all alone again with his ego.

So he ends up facing Solo alone once again.

Until that last beautiful segment. This is so long already, so I’m not gonna go line-by-line & frame-by-frame on that one, but even with that last shot, there’s still so much that’s unresolved and that needs fixing. These four need to TALK and really TALK.

And Jey needs to get that apology.

Anyways.

I feel like, pretty much as always, the stuff that isn’t said speaks so much louder than the actual words.

I know this wasn’t exactly the point of this ask, but you caught me in a rambling mood and I was just rewatching the show and so here we are 😂

The point: I completely agree. These four are not a unit yet and there’s a lot of healing left that needs to happen before they can truly be that unit again.

[chiyana]

This is one of those fandom tropes that I admittedly had to weed out before it dug in too deep, mostly the unquestioning nature of it as "something Batman has said and believes" because it really doesn't hold up to scrutiny and gets abruptly horrifying the second you scratch the surface, BUT. I think there are some interesting ways to unpack it as a concept. Even then though I wouldn't start from "this is something Batman said at any point or believes", I'd start from "this is a misconception in-universe".

Like no one who knows Batman in any capacity thinks he believes this to any degree. He works with the Justice League, he's friends with Superman and plenty of other metas, he has no problem with them being in his city. He has a problem with other superheroes patrolling in Gotham because he has massive control issues and is possessive of his city, but I think most heroes established in specific cities would have similar hang-ups (to a significantly less dramatic degree, but still). I also don't think it would have anything to do with powers, like he would have exactly as bad a reaction to Green Arrow doing it as he would Green Lantern.

I do think though that Batman could have some actual concerns about metas in Gotham, not in a "I don't want them in my city" way but more of a "how do I make contingencies and keep as many people safe as possible in the worst case scenario" - 1 because making contingencies and trying to keep a step ahead of everyone is sort of Batman's thing, and 2 because Gotham does have a problem with a whole spectrum of toxins gasses pollens mind-control and mind-altering substances, which can activate meta genes, and it's probably not great to have someone learn they can set their skin on fire for the first time while high on fear gas. I don't think he would go with "drive all metas out of Gotham" because that just... doesn't make sense for him as a character, but having methods of testing for and inhibiting or countering meta abilities? Yeah, that kind of hyper-awareness for Batman makes sense.

I also think it makes sense to have it as a problem with public opinion, specifically of people living in Gotham. Gotham has a lot of systemic issues, and the 'well-known' metas are mostly Rogues. You could easily have it that there's a prevailing belief in Gotham that metas are inherently dangerous or Rogues in the making. Bruce Wayne can publicly push back against that and push for resources to help metas, both to protect them and help them learn to control and handle their powers, but Batman isn't really a public figure like other heroes. The people he saves and works with can give all the testimony they want about how he still protects metas and helps them, but he's not like... available for interview and he doesn't like being recorded, so it'd be easy for people to ascribe what they want to him - even if there's no data to back it up. Since he's Gotham's hero, if Gotham's people have a problem with metas, clearly Batman does too, right?

There's ways to unpack it as a concept and explore the idea, but honestly I wouldn't apply it across the board as a given, and it doesn't make any sense to apply it to Batman as a character trait - not unless you're prepared to make Batman an out and out fascist and no, please no, we've been down that road before and I'd rather we didn't.

i know ive said it before but i still cannot wrap my mind around how popular and unquestioned the fanon of "batman has a rule banning metas from gotham city" is. even if he tried to say that who the fuck would listen to him 💀 like can you imagine dick being like "sorry kory you can't come over, bruce is just racist like that haha" NO!!!! dick would sooner beat bruce's ass and he'd be right!!!!

[reel-fear]

Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:

The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.

2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]

3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.

4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]

5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]

Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]

At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]

6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.

7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.

He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]

8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!

So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.

Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?

So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.

I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.

The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.

anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.

As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.

Also the books, the books slap.

[walkingstackofbooks]

So many people seem to act like men are the scum of the Earth simply because they're men, and then be all :O when they don't want to fight alongside us.

Like idk, if you look at it from a real life perspective - my beautifully nerdy friendship group is predominantly queer, with quite a mix of women and enbies, and also a few cishet men. And you know, we make jokes about them being the token straights and whatnot, but we love them just as much as our other friends - they're very much part of our group.

But if we were having conversations every time we met about how men are the worst, making no distinction between our friends and other men, and didn't bother listening to them when they were struggling with things cos men's problems don't matter as much, and you know, treating them how men often get treated by lefty online spaces, they'd be completely within their rights to go "hang on, I don't think I'm being treated right here, I'm going to find some different friends", you know?

And if every nerdy circle they then find which had a queer/female presence screwed in the same way and was dismissive and cruel about them for being male, then eventually they'd find a group that basically just had guys, probably guys who had had a similar experience, and from there is easy to see why "oh those females hate you? Well, brother, we're all in it together" could lead to them being talked into believing alt-right rhetoric.

And I'm NOT saying it's our fault for the alt-right movement or anything. Obviously hundreds of years of oppression and patriarchy and heteronormativity - and yes, men committing great atrocities against women time and time again - is where that all comes from. Desperate men trying to cling on to their historical power.

What I am saying, though, is that activist spaces should be friendly, welcoming, and radically inclusive: not just to "pander" to men, but because they're human too - many of them wonderful, funny, lovely, incredible humans - who we should actively WANT fighting with us in our spaces.

I saw this post where this man who said he escaped the alt right pipeline said the problem was people on the left "hated him for his immutable traits" or something like that and like. World's smallest violin.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

I'm not ready to shut up about Aveline and Carver--so, when you go see Aveline in Act 1, you can catch up with her a little bit and that's where this conversation can happen:

Aveline: "It's just one more change, though. The real end for me was Ostagar. What about you, Carver? You were there. Do you feel something similar?" Carver: No. Aveline: All right, then. Bit of a tit, your brother.

I wanted to see what she would say if Carver isn't in the party. Instead, she says this:

Aveline: Carver was there. I imagine he feels something similar. If he allows it.

......well, at least she didn't call him a tit?

[unordinary-diary]

Blyke and John: Parallel Characters

I’ve written multiple entries about this,

[x] [x] [x]

But I’m back to make a comprehensive analysis about the glaring similarities between these two. I’ll try not to repeat myself here.

‼️SPOILER WARNING for the whole series‼️ but this mostly focuses on the story before John’s suspension.

Firstly, this scene:

ch. 121

This conversation takes place near the beginning of the Joker arc. It’s after John targets Zeke, after he targets Juni, and the day before he goes after Seraphina’s kidnappers. The timing is important.

“If someone hit your best friend, would you let it slide?”

That question is supposed to remind us what John does to people who hurt Seraphina: hunting them down and sending them to the hospital. Blyke shooting a destructive beam really close to John was an example of a trait they share: they both blow up violently when people mistreat their friends.

John’s downward spiral carries strong themes of hypocrisy. He’s angry at the world, he’s angry at himself, and as a coping mechanism, he chooses to believe that everyone else is as bad as he is. That means that most of the traits he hates others for are the same things he hates about himself. In this scene, Blyke is unintentionally calling out this hypocrisy: “What I did is no different from what you do”.

But Blyke’s just trying to connect with John here, he has no idea what John’s been doing. And John, of course, doesn’t give a shit about what Blyke has to say. This line was here for the audience to notice.

They’re both so similar, but their similarity immediately causes tension between them because, well, John was on the wrong end of Blyke’s protectiveness.

I really love the way this was written— there are so many flashbacks to this scene, but they remember it differently. John remembers the part that hurt him— he’d describe it as “the time that jackass shot a beam at me”. Blyke remembers the part that hurt him, or rather, hurt Remi: “the time that jackass hit Remi for no reason”.

Blyke and John are both hotheaded characters with strong ideals. They’re similar enough that Seraphina points it out:

(ch. 80)

As Blyke grows as a character, he becomes more like John: sticking up for low tiers and speaking out against the injustice in the world. But while Blyke is doing that more, John is going in the opposite direction, until they are fully opposed to each other.

Speaking of Blyke’s character arc, it took me a few rereads to actually understand what part of him changed. His kindness, selflessness, bravery— all of those things were there from the start. Blyke’s character arc was about becoming more aware of his surroundings, and how his carelessness can harm others. Blyke was never malicious, but after X-Rei and integrating more with the school, he becomes aware of people suffering around him and how he unintentionally contributes to it. He becomes less reckless, privy to the flaws in the system he grew up not questioning, and uses his power more responsibly. He even comes up with a more controlled way to wield his ability. The part of Blyke that changes is his maturity.

Part of John’s character arc is also about being careful. It’s not as close of a parallel as other things are, but one of the things that John works on during his redemption arc is holding back. Both of them learn self-control throughout the series, and for John, that means acting early before his emotions spiral out of hand.

Adding onto my first point about the two of them wanting to protect their friends— the fact that they can’t do that makes them both angry and desperate. For most of the story, the “block” that prevents John from protecting Seraphina is in his head. It’s his own trauma that holds him back. The block that prevents Blyke from protecting his friends is, guess what? Also John’s trauma! Parallels abound.

Another thing I noticed in Episode 80 is this:

Notice that when Seraphina says “I’d take that over strength any day,” John is looking at the camera. He’s avoiding Sera’s gaze. Seraphina is saying she prefers honesty over strength. John is very strong, and very dishonest, but Seraphina thinks the opposite because John is so dishonest. John appears to be reflecting on this disconnect.

In relation to this analysis, Seraphina is actually pointing out a major difference between Blyke and John. Beyond that, she’s praising Blyke’s traits, (less strong but very open) above John’s traits, (strong as fuck but a liar with his pants on fire). Furthermore, John really cares what Seraphina thinks of him. Knowing that she would think less of him is the main reason why he spent so much time and effort preventing her from catching his lies.

This leads into my main point here: Blyke is the “goody-two-shoes” version of John. Or, more accurately, the person that John wants to be. Blyke has a clean track record and doesn’t really get into trouble. He is respected and left alone by the school without being hated and feared, he de-escalates conflicts without taking things too far, he doesn’t lose control, he’s someone Seraphina thinks highly of, hell, even his grades are better! Blyke represents everything that John wants to be, and the person that he could have been if he’d gone down a different path.

But, crucially, John is also what Blyke wants to be. Well, not wholly, but his ability? His strength? It’s one of the things John hates about himself, but Blyke wants that strength so desperately that he risks his life for it over and over again.

They’re both desperate to be like each other, even when they hate each other the most. Neither of them have any idea how alike they already are.

I don’t know what Season 3 holds in store for us, but I do hope that John realizes that Blyke embodies who he wants to be, because mutual jealousy would be a very interesting dynamic to explore in my opinion. I also hope that it ends up being something they can bond over, by helping each other accomplish their personal goals. (Blyke being another helper in John’s character arc, and John helping Blyke train.)

A side note: John beat up Blyke four separate times. That’s more than any other character, which is interesting because John’s main rival is supposed to be Arlo. For reference, John has beaten Arlo twice, three times if you count the time when Seraphina intervened, and he only beat him unconscious once. But John beat Blyke to the point of passing out all four times, the worst of which being a shot clean through his chest. (shoulder? Unclear. S1 finale).

It’s odd, isn’t it? Out of everyone, Blyke is the one who John physically hurt the most. John’s only grudge against him is an old memory from episode 33, of an event that didn’t actually harm him. John’s grudge against Arlo is much more serious and again— that’s his main rival. So why is it that he’s so much more violent towards Blyke?

The problem here is that I’ve been thinking about these fights as “John picking on Blyke”. And that’s… kind of true? But while Blyke didn’t start any of these fights, they were all consensual in a way. He didn’t seek to fight John, nor was he ever happy about fighting John, but he was always a willing participant.

(138, 153, 206, & 211)

In three out of these four fights, John didn’t even expect to be fighting Blyke going into it. This is significant because while Arlo is John’s main rival, John absolutely fills that role for Blyke. Blyke’s own agency is what leads to most of these events. The reason, narratively speaking, why they fight so much is not for John’s character, but for Blyke.

For John, his reason for fighting Blyke so much is not narrative but moreso symbolic. John is angry at everyone and everything, but ultimately the person he hates the most is himself. It’s only fitting that the character most like him would bear the brunt of his wrath.

As John is having his positive character arc (suspension and post-suspension), he is becoming more like Blyke, and the two of them reach a point where they’re even more similar than they were at the start of the series.

In the Rowden amusement park, John does start to realize how similar they are:

(249)

Additionally, I want to draw your attention to the parallels between this scene:

Blyke and John’s argument in chapter 249

(which the image limit won’t let me add, scroll until you see red hair.)

And this scene:

Argument in ch. 121 (it’s at the beginning)

Two sides of the same coin.

Furthermore, in the S2 finale, Blyke is shown being taken to Keon. There is an implication that by Season 3, Blyke and John will share Keon-related trauma as well. Despite my pessimistic predictions, I do hope that this is a similarity that can bring them together rather than tear them apart.

[ducktracy]

reminder that if you're not watching Crayon Shin-chan then you are living a hollow and empty life. this is not edited. this ripped straight from the movie (Movie 8: Jungle That Invites the Storm, highly recommend for fellow Masaaki Yuasa lovers)

if you need further convincing: these monkeys run an animation sweatshop

[strtravels]

Where relief had sat after the good news, FEAR slowly creped and crawled in, too, as the question was whispered somewhere in the back of his mind, by an unfamiliar voice, WHAT IF THIS WAS ALL JUST A DREAM? Fragments of his own imagination, pieced together as he lay on the hard stone floor somewhere deep underneath the Tower of London – bleeding out – dying. Had enough blood on his shirt, and trousers for it. Dark patched of the once fever-red liquid. The nurse had brought it up, too! He vaguely remembered, now, how she had asked him if he wanted her to see if they had anything they could offer him in replacement, so he could get changed. Had never answered her. Stared into the distance. Waiting. Endlessly hoping.

He looked more awake now; his eyes had focused the moment the nurse had mentioned the magic words. SHE IS AWAKE. Like a light being switched back on again. – Looked at the nurse briefly now too, as if he wanted to say something to her, but he didn’t find the right words and turned his attention back to Kate.

And if he was lying somewhere, bleeding out because he had failed – maybe this wasn’t the worst thing to imagine. Kate, with the colour returning to her face and not as white as the bedsheets. Kate, with a soft expression in her eyes as they met his own. Either way, it just meant he wouldn’t lose her, did it not? While he had given up years ago to imagine what would happen to him after death, at least dying didn’t seem this bad if it meant he didn’t have to live with the loss.

MANAGED ANOTHER SMILE AT HER; a choked chuckle accompanying it, as Kate asked him the question he had already expected. Felt as though they had been here before. They have been. About a year ago, when she had survived another impossible thing. And then she asked him a similar question, too. Boat One. The crew. The rest of the personnel. Only then his answer hadn’t been accompanied by a smile but a tortured expression – not wanting to answer because she deserved a break.

He wouldn’t say it was GOOD NEWS now, but it was easier to answer than the last time. A NOD. The smile still lingering for just a second. “ – the trainees all made it out. I’ll have to arrange with Rebecca and her team that they all get the right support, but we had no casualties on this side.” He didn’t have to mention, that there had been other victims to the attack as Kate had seen them. A few others, too. They would be honoured at the right moment. Wouldn’t be forgotten either.

Stood there for just a moment, until he could feel the nurse’s hand on his arm; giving him a little shove. Now go sit down, the kind eyes seemed to say. OH, he remembered her. The nurse who had given him a vase for the flowers he had brought to the hospital last time he had been here. The same one, who had told him about the aspirin in the water to keep the bouquet fresh for longer. – Odd. The things one could remember.

Still on his feet, he only took a step closer to the bed; not knowing what to do with himself, not to mention his hands, he rested one on the end of Kate’s bed, close to the clipboard with all her information on it. Eyes wandering towards it briefly, before he turned back to Kate and raised his voice again. “ – I spoke to Josh and Vikram… I remember them mentioning it was pure luck that a lot of our scientific staff wasn’t in today…” Not a lie. He remembered it. Not the exact words Josh or Vikram had used, but he remembered the look on their faces. Too many dead already. But they had managed to save so many, too. Even Kate.

Afterwards, it was nothing but a blur, little fleeting moments in time that the more she tried to keep a hold of, the more seemed to slip away. Briefly recalled the ambulance, the flashing lights, the sirens, the shouting and then afterwards, the bright lights of the hospital corridor and the operating theatre. Strange figures in green scrubs with gloves and masks and white caps, all gathered around her like some sort bizarre pantomime. It was the pain that kept rousing her, that searing, blinding hot pain tearing across her shoulder. Fought to keep a hold of that pain, even though she cursed it, hated it, wanted it to be over and done with.

Too stubborn to go quietly...even if there was a voice calling out to her from far away. Somewhere over there, where that bright light was coming from. A voice she hadn't heard for some time now. Katherine....what the devil are you doing here? Gone before she could even really process any of that. Felt like she was falling. No, not falling? Was she?

Woke to the sound of the monitor quietly beeping, squinting up at a pale green ceiling. Could feel soft sheets beneath her and a hard hospital mattress and not another soul in the room save for an older woman with kind eyes that she didn't recognise. Hit her then like a speeding train. UNIT, the tower. The invasion. The alien militia. Had they all made it out? Had they managed to reclaim HQ?

Panicked now, she tried to sit up... but her limbs felt heavy, sluggish to respond.... Felt groggy. At least the pain had dulled, the wound sutured and patched. She could feel the drip in her left arm. That probably had something to do with it. Briefly, Kate felt a strange sense of deja vu. Had she woken up before this? Remembered the surgeon talking to her.

The nurse was quick on the uptake. "No, no! don't even try it! I told them, I said it! I said, I've seen this one before. A real fighter. Never listens, thinks she knows better than the rest of us. There now. Let's get you sitting up before you hurt yourself..." Tried to protest, half offended, half mystified, gawping at the nurse like a goldfish in it's pond and trying to follow what she was saying, ❝ S-sorry, wha-? ❞

But the nurse did not answer, shuffling over to the bed to take the hand remote off it's holder, one hand gently supporting her to sit upright, the other adjusting the bed. The older woman beamed, evidently proud of her work. She dropped the remote back into it's cradle, waggling a finger at Kate, "Now you stay put, I'll just go tell him you're awake..." She paused at the door, tutting, "You gave him a fright love. Got to stop landing yourself in hospital I think, or we'll have to put him up in a bed next yours!" Kate stared after her, completely bewildered for a moment or two. Briefly, she wondered whether she had in fact woken at all.

It was only when the nurse reappeared, bringing with her a familiar face to soothe at least, some of the anxiety, that the words started to fall into place. God....That nurse. It was the same woman from a year ago, when she'd landed herself here after Boat One had gone down... which meant...

Oh. Those large brown eyes softened as she met his, realising just what the woman was talking about, ❝ Ed... ❞ Kate swallowed thickly, words quite failing her in the moment. A hundred and one things running through her mind, unable to pluck a single thread out of them and unravel it into a coherent thought. Could only focus on something she could make sense of right now. And that was work. ❝ ...the tower, are they.... did everyone make it out? ❞

[marcsnuffy]

I don't think that differently about Kaiser now

[sammygender]

thinking about how one of the last things john ever tells dean is an admittance that the way he treated him was fucked. & of course this destroys dean and makes it so much harder for him to come to terms w his death right after and with his childhood in general bc he’s spent his entire life chasing after johns approval. he’s spent his entire life telling himself that the way he was treated was okay and justified and that their childhood was good because he could handle it and he was strong enough and that was how it had to be. he’s worshipped john as a hero and seen nothing wrong with any of it. because he’s had to. his entire life is built around this idea there’s nothing else. he’s his dads perfect soldier and punching bag and wife-replacement and suddenly his dads gone & he said he’s sorry and that he shouldn’t have treated dean that way. what the hell is he supposed to do now.

[httpiastri]

[acrobattack]

i think it’s fun that blossom and buttercup butt heads the most vs brick who targets boomer and more or less gets along swell with butch