#thinking about that episode with the abused kid who has psychic powers like sams and sam sees himslef in the kid a lot

[sammygender]

thinking about how one of the last things john ever tells dean is an admittance that the way he treated him was fucked. & of course this destroys dean and makes it so much harder for him to come to terms w his death right after and with his childhood in general bc he’s spent his entire life chasing after johns approval. he’s spent his entire life telling himself that the way he was treated was okay and justified and that their childhood was good because he could handle it and he was strong enough and that was how it had to be. he’s worshipped john as a hero and seen nothing wrong with any of it. because he’s had to. his entire life is built around this idea there’s nothing else. he’s his dads perfect soldier and punching bag and wife-replacement and suddenly his dads gone & he said he’s sorry and that he shouldn’t have treated dean that way. what the hell is he supposed to do now.

[bardicious]

I got through a few more episodes of Supernatural season 1, some new thoughts:

Dean's annoying me less. Now I just feel sad for him too.

It's sad that Sam was already worrying about how Dean would see him (having psychic powers), like he's crazy or something, and then in later season Dean kind of always sees him like that? Very sad.

While I think John could have been a WAY better father than he was, I think it's a bit much when fanfics say he never loved Sam, or abused him (in the traditional sense, anyhow lmao). He's still an ass though, total tool, maybe if he knew how to communicate better his sons' wouldn't be so mentally dysfunctional.

Dean looks a LOT like his father.

It's very clear how much Dean has raised Sam his entire life. He really does treat Sam more like a son, than a kid brother, which is probably where lots of conflicts arise between the two to begin with.

I hope Dean doesn't anywhere in the future use Meg as an example of people Sam has made poor judgment calls on. If anything, it was Dean who made the poor judgment call, and constantly told Sam to sleep with her. Like... Sam knew she was suspicious from his second meeting with her. And his first meeting was ONLY when she took advantage of his insecurities.

As with most media, and especially 2000s media, Meg sexually assaulting Sam is treated ridiculously lightly. Like, they don't need to focus a whole episode or even scene or anything, but I really wish they would at least imply that Meg is wrongful and a creep. If this happened to a woman, it wouldn't even be a question. Instead I get hints of victim blaming when Dean tells them to get a room. (Like, they were both hoping it would serve well as a distraction, but jesus christ man)

[steponmedean]

WARNING!! SPOILERS [SUPERNATURAL & THE BOYS]

So, I'm rewatching SPN and I recently finished The Boys and Kripke has a thing for Daddy Issues and older brother taking the beating so little brother doesn't have to.

In The Boys, there's a scene of Butcher's past where it shows how he used to tell he's little brother to hide and Butcher took the punches. (I'm not sure how it happens in the comic, but if it was Kripke's or not, he still showed the idea in the series)

In SPN is never really explicitly said, but there's one in s5 e16 where Dean seems to leave it implicit that John got agressive in the past. In this episodes they're in heaven and Sam has a memory of when he ran away from John and Dean. His heaven takes him to his alone time with his dog.

Dean says: "You ran away on my watch, I thought you were dead. And when dad came home..."

And now that I am rewatching it, I came across this little chat in s1 e14, where Sam and Dean are talking about the kid with psychic powers who was abused by his father and uncle, both used to hit him a lot.

So Sam says they're lucky that kinda thing didn't happen to them, but Dean's reaction reveals otherwise.

[Sorry, I recorded this one myself just now, I can't find it in good quality on YT or somewhere to take it from 😭]

[I usually prefer english subtitles cuz it helps with the practice and I kinda have crappy hearing, but the DVD's weren't considered enough to have english subtitles]

Look at Dean's reaction! Does it look like he thinks they were lucky to have John?

Early seasons Dean Winchester was much of a John aplogist, but doesn't mean he didn't suffer. He blames himself for everything, usually small children blame themselves when their parents treat them badly instead of blaming the ones inflicting pain, lack of love or neglect.

So, yeah, I hate John and I always did thought he mistreated Dean physically, and I'm pretty sure there's more posts about this, but I needed to get it out.

And the co-relation to The Boys is cuz Kripke probably had the intention to put that in like it was shown in The Boys scene, but for some reason never explicitly did.

[elizabethrobertajones]

hi! is their any good lore or (more likely) what's your preferred headcanon on the metaphysics of demons? what actually *are* they, that is different from human souls they're made from, yet allows them to basically have human-like personalities in some cases (and be completely rabidly evil in others)?

Honestly the last few years have left me at “people be like that” and how hard is it anyway to convince someone who was already an asshole who got sent to hell that they’d suffer less if they inflicted pain back, and leaning into that will get you sick supernatural powers to do more evil with, and before you know it all these incel weirdoes who had an unhealthy murder-suicide pact in their head with the barista who had never even talked to them except to take their order and give them the side-eye when they stared too long, are in a weird one upmanship culture with each other about who can eat the most babies or whatever Hell’s current Evil Fad is in order to be the Most Alpha Bad Demon.

Which makes it a pretty chilling commentary before it was even fully in the epoch for pop culture commentary, on how society and herd mentality are warping people into terrible monsters, and many of those people are people who maybe would have been sympathetic and vulnerable and probably bullied and insecure a long time ago, but instead of being helped they’re put into this mill that twists them and feeds their insecurities and tells them who’s to blame for them and gives them a new sense of purpose and a club to belong to that for the first time they feel powerful and accepted and need an autocratic ruler to worship and follow and the only condition is to mete out pain? These people who’ve been filled with pain all their lives and would like nothing more than to lash out against everyone they perceive has hurt them?

I think the show has actually got into this a bit from the start with the Psychic Children stuff, and how Yellow Eyes was following them around bothering them and making their lives horrible in order to twist them or at least make them feel outside and alone and different. Like, after the Mary incident and seeing how John took up arms, he didn’t have to do SHIT with Sam until he was an adult, but some of the kids had had him whispering to them since childhood, probably because they were living too stable middle class comfortable lives and needed a push. Max for example didn’t have any known contact from Yellow Eyes though because he also grew up in an abusive home, and the people around him did all the work to turn him into a killer as soon as he had special powers to pay it back to those who hurt him. 

A lot of the season 1-4 messaging was very much how Sam and Dean were good men because they had been put through this or sent to hell and how they struggled against what they thought might be their nature either from basically birth for Sam or the abuse Dean was put through (Dream a Little Dream very clearly showing how Dean could be someone who was ripe for demonisation just from his upbringing even before the torture because he had these things which could be twisted to make him evil if someone was going to manipulate him)... Sam’s side was all based on magic bullshit and he turned out to be mostly good all the way through even when he was being very very bad, but Dean’s struggles always were framed through this. Like the season 7 episode with Jeffrey, who was very strongly paralleled with Dean and put attention back on him having been a torturer in hell long after the main narrative had moved on from Dean’s trauma. But even when Dean did get demonised through magic bullshit it still was more based in his character than the way Sam struggled through knowing he should be a good guy and wanting to be a good guy and just always finding more magic bullshit in the way when he tried. 

So I think you can say this is sort of the reasoning the show’s always given for how demons end up like that... Like, Ruby being a witch with a demon pact before she died meant she was very in control of herself and probably needed no torture whatsoever to pop back up as a demon because she was already willing to do these horrible things. Likewise idk if it was confirmed Rowena was a demon or just a dead soul in Hell who was too scary to fuck with, but either way she was allowed to just waltz onto the throne without any real process of suffering because she was so well suited to it from her life, even if her death was a heroic sacrifice and she had become a better person in life, she was still a blatantly hellbound soul and then once there blatantly a step above MOST souls Hell would ever be lucky to get their hands on. Dean on the other hand was someone who would resist at every step and have to be seriously broken by prolonged torture to ever even start him on the path. Rowena might not even NOTICE the day she slips from human soul to demon :P 

I think back in season 10/11 there was more of an effort to suggest cosmic nonsense and the balance of hell to heaven and demons to angels and amara to chuck, giving Amara similar looking powers to demons with black smoke especially, and of course Dean and Cain being demonised as just an inherent part of their souls being in contact with her. No one ever laid down any ground rules about this but I suppose the magical process has to be at least somewhat borne out since Lucifer had the Mark at one point when he started making demons, so probably the Darkness has its spooky fingers in the mechanics of all this somewhere. But the psychological aspect is far more interesting to me. :D

[wheres-sam]

I binge-watched the spn anime because of the brain rot

It’s bad except for the parts that are good, and it’s pretty to look at. Here’s a comprehensive list of pros and cons. Spoilers ahead!

Pros:

- more psychic kid backstories: Max (Nightmare), Lily (Darkness Calling), Jake (Loser)

- more psychic Sam

- more Azazel

- basically if you want more about the psychic/demon kids, watch the anime

- more young Winchesters

- the monsters, the superhuman abilities, the fight scenes, it all looks really cool animated. (But PSA it’s violent. It doesn’t shy away from blood and gore.)

- Sam and Jessica backstory

- more of the brothers being cute and funny together

- Missouri isn’t forgotten

- includes some Japanese legends/mythology

- the impala looks great in every scene. They did Baby good

- the “Supernatural” intro title

- the outro sketches of the boys hanging out with Baby

- Episodes adapted from the original show are different, but I like some of the changes? It’d be boring if it was an exact retelling and the visual medium wasn’t utilized. (I know I said spoilers before, but this is when they get detailed. If you wanna skip over, I’ll tell you where they STOP.)

Nightmare goes more into the abuse Max has suffered. Instead of locking Sam in a closet, Max sends Sam through the floor and covers the hole by breaking his bed in half, and it’s extremely sexy how Sam shoves the 2 halves apart with his mind. Later on Dean puts bandaids on Sam and they talk about demons loudly in front of a fast food intercom.

In My Time of Dying highlights the guilt Sam feels over Dean. In both the og and the anime John verbally blames Sam for not shooting Azazel, but where in the og Sam goes right on arguing, in the anime he reels back for a moment like he was slapped. Dean’s spirit touches Sam’s shoulder, and Sam knows immediately that it’s Dean. He doesn’t even question it. Instead of “Are you here?” it’s “I know you’re with me. I can feel it.” And I love that. Dean figures out right away he’s dealing with a reaper, and the reaper takes on the appearance of Mary to convince Dean to move on to the afterlife. Instead of a Ouija board, Sam uses a laptop to talk to Dean, and the first word Dean types is “Sammy!” Dean is so fond of his little brother and Sam is so baby.

Rising Son is an anime only episode, but it draws inspiration from John’s journal. Dean has a proper breakdown over his dad’s death and the possibility of having to kill Sam. Ms. Lyle, Sam’s favorite teacher who turns out to be possessed, is explored. John takes Dean hunting, and in the journal Dean hesitates to shoot a buck, and little Sam shoots it thinking it was endangering Dean. In the anime, Dean’s cornered by a moose and Sam makes it explode with his mind and it’s so !!! How little Sam’s first words are, “I’m glad you’re okay. It didn’t hurt you?” The boys are covered in blood and guts and Dean’s like 👁👄👁 “Why are you here? Did you do this?” And then Sam starts freaking out a little, the shock sets in. “I don’t know. I don’t know, honest.” And he’s staring at his hands, and I am a big fan of Sam showing superhuman signs as a kid. Like in the journal, Ms. Lyle tries to take Sam. She gives Sam the illusion of a choice to come with her or stay with Dean, and Sam chooses Dean. This ep is pretty much when John figures out Sam has demon blood. He kills another hunter that wants to kill Sam.

Crossroad is based on Crossroad Blues, and I love how the crossroads demon shows up. It’s hard to describe, but it’s so neat, like she’s walking underneath Dean in this mirror world, and then the mirror world takes over the regular world, so you really get this sense of otherworldly seclusion, existing outside of time.

What Is and Should Never Be shows Dean is a firefighter in his ‘Mary never died’ world, and Sam got to play soccer growing up like he wanted. The brothers hold each other after Dean is saved from the Djinn.

AHBL part 1. When Azazel shows Sam that he fed Sam his blood, Sam gags and slaps a hand over his mouth, and I like that reaction more than the live action. The psychic kids get to go more anime with their powers, and that’s a lot of fun. They don’t need weapons. Ava slams Sam into the brick side of a building and cuts him without touching him. Jake snaps Ava’s neck with one hand and then catches Sam in his arms. When Jake attacks Sam, there’s no gun or knife. He’s relying on his super strength, his fists. Sam throws his arms up to protect himself, and (accidentally?) pushes Jake back with his mind, and the collision creates a crater in the ground. Jake puts his fist through Sam’s chest to kill him. It’s brutal and it’s rad as fuck. These kids are terrifyingly powerful.

The Sam and Dean reunion before Sam is killed is not as emotional as the live action imo, but what the anime does intrigues me. Hurts in a different way. Because Sam is stunned after he uses telekinesis again, on Jake, and when he hears Dean behind him Sam freezes. He doesn’t look relieved to see Dean, but wary and weary. It’s Dean taking steps towards him, not the other way around, and it has to be because Sam doesn’t know if Dean saw him push Jake back. Sam doesn’t know how Dean’s going to respond to all this, to him, having powers that come from a demon, the demon, Azazel. Sam hasn’t had a chance to process anything. He’s scared. He’s tired. And the way the anime focuses on Sam’s eyes here. Gah. “Dean. Dean, I’m...” I’m sorry. I’m all right. I’m glad you’re okay. I’m a monster. There’s also this one shot between Sam and Azazel that sends me because of how anime it is.

AHBL part 2. I love how Sam brought back to life is animated, with all the color returning to his face and a light wind rustling his hair and his lips parting to indicate his soul returning to his body. Jake attacks Dean, and, a lot like how Sam activates telekinesis to save Dean from Max in Nightmare, Sam gets a burst of superhuman strength. He rips Jake’s arm off and tackles him to the ground and beats him to death, punches holes into his body, and it’s so savage and bloody and scary, and I love it. The Devil’s Gate opening looks so cool animated. Same goes for Dean shooting Azazel with the Colt.

Not to turn this into a meta post, but I also noticed how the last couple times Sam uses his powers they’re colored green-yellow, the same colors as Mary’s ghost when she reveals herself in the anime’s Home, and I don’t know if that’s intentional, but it’s neat how it draws a connection to Sam’s biological family instead of Azazel’s blood.

The Spirit of Vegas is like Bad Day at Black Rock, but Dean has all the bad luck instead, and it shows off the silly cartoony physics that make animation fun. The boys sleep outside and split a chunk of bread for dinner. Also this lil bit of Dean’s hair tied in a bow.

- (STOP) the brothers are pretty. I am not immune to animated Sam and Dean Winchester.

Cons:

- Jensen doesn’t voice Dean until the last 2 episodes

- The English dialogue is really bad sometimes. I wish I could’ve watched the sub, but I couldn’t figure out how to change the language

- Some character designs are really different from the live action, and maybe that’s petty, but if you’re gonna change the characters diversify them? Don’t just make them unrecognizable white people

- Missouri’s design as a stereotypical witch doctor is racist

- Gordon is replaced by some British guy named Jason?? Why

- There’s an LGBT character who is not accepted by her family and, while that bigotry is always shown to be negative and she dies the hero of the episode, she still dies ://

- In the English dub Lily’s gf is made into her roommate instead. Idk about the sub

- Bobby’s pretty much a totally different character

- Sam and Dean are OOC sometimes

- Dean’s hair usually looks darker than Sam’s and it drives me crazy

- The storytelling is, overall, not nearly as good as the live action

- The non-Japanese lore in some episodes makes no sense. Sometimes it’s just plain ridiculous?? Like there’s a giant robot made of cars and scrap metal controlled by a demon? ? I wish I was making this up

- Meg’s role is severely reduced

- No Harvelles or Roadhouse

- Shadows are overused, but maybe that’s because the og show is so dark?

- I don’t mind the art style. I like the aesthetic, but I wish it was a little more expressive. It doesn’t do Sam’s puppy eyes justice.

- AZAZEL’S SHADOW?? PROPORTIONS?? PEA SIZED HEAD

- Idk why they mashed season 1 and 2 together? The story feels rushed

- there’s not as much chemistry between Sam and Dean, but that’s a given without J2 on screen

- Nobody tells you!! That there’s scenes after the credits!! And some of them are important! Why are important scenes after the credits??

The anime would not be good on its own, without the heart and depth the live action brings, but it works as supplementary material you can cherry pick from. I would watch more if there were more episodes.

It hasn’t turned me off from wanting an spn anime. I’d like to see it continued or redone, with updated animation and better scripts. There’s a lot of potential in exploring more about the psychic kids and Sam’s powers, storylines that were cut short in the og show. Animation is a great medium for showing off the supernatural, getting creative and creepier with the designs, dramatic with the fight scenes, without having to worry about bad CGI. I don’t want a live action reboot, but I think a redone animated series could be a lot of fun! (As long as it’s not an excuse to make any romantic ships take over. SPN is a platonic love story, and I like it that way.)

If you made it to the end here and are interested in watching the spn anime, you can watch it for free on the CW Seed app! You can probably stream it elsewhere, but idk where!

[shirtlesssammy]

1x14: Nightmare

Then:

Previously on All My Ghosts

Now:

We open the episode with a man pulling into his garage and promptly getting suffocated by car fumes when his car starts on its own and the garage door closes on its own.

It was actually one of Sam’s visions! The boys hit the road despite Dean’s skepticism about it all. 

They get to the man’s house, but it’s too late. 

Sam and Dean talk to the local onlookers and one woman fills them in that it was suicide. She can’t imagine what the family is going through --as we watch a bereft woman and son talk with the cops. 

Sam wants to know why he’s having these visions, if he can’t stop them. 

The next morning they head to talk to the grieving family. 

For Forgive Me Father, I Have Sinned Science:

They talk to the widow and learn that her son, Max, found the body. Sam offers to go talk to him. Dean tries to see if the house is haunted by asking the widow roundabout questions about the house. She doesn’t bite. Sam talks with Max and sympathizes with the kid for losing a parent. 

Dean heads upstairs to do a little investigating. 

That night they discuss the case and can’t find anything odd about the house. Sam then gets another vision. This one is of the victim’s brother and a pesky window that won’t stay closed. 

Until it slams down on his head, decapitating him. 

The brothers rush to Roger’s apartment and find him just as he’s getting home. They chase after him but he wants nothing to do with them. 

They race to the back of the building and start climbing the fire escape. There’s a lot of stairs. Will they make it in time???

The brothers think that whatever’s happening is attached to the family like a curse. Sam wonders if Max is in danger. He also says their own family is cursed. (IF YOU ONLY KNEW SAM!)

Dressed as priests, they return to Max’s house. Sam tries to puppy-dog-eye emotional truths out of Max, but the kid won’t budge. Everything’s fiiiiiine. The Winchesters ditch the priest costumes (RUDE), then head out to interview the neighbors. (Why yes, I AM picturing Dean grouchily taking off his costume and shoving it back in the trunk.) The neighbor reveals that Max’s father abused him. Mid-interview, Sam develops a massive headache.

Sam passes out, and our scene jumps to Max confronting his stepmother over her failure to protect him and his brother. He lifts a knife with his BRAIN and jabs it through her eye. 

Suddenly we’re in the Impala, and Sam explains to his brother that he’s seeing Max killing people. Dean’s ready to kill Max in order to save lives, but Sam believes that reason will win out and they can talk him out of killing his stepmom. 

The Winchesters break into Max’s house mid-murder-attempt, and convince him to step outside with them. Unfortunately for them, Max spots Dean’s gun jammed into his waistband and slams the doors shut with his mojo. Sam tries to get him to talk it out. 

Sam tells Max that he knows about his killings because...HE’S PSYCHIC TOO. They were meant to help each other! Max lets Dean haul the stepmom upstairs, and Sam starts his counseling session with Max. Sam “Sheltered from Abuse by his Brother” Winchester is appalled to see that Max is still abused - and is even now covered in parent-inflicted bruises and cuts. 

Sam’s therapy session gets derailed when Max mentions some VERY FAMILIAR FACTS. His mom died in a fire in his nursery - pinned to the ceiling. Sam is VERY SHOCK MANY SURPRISED but he tells Max that the same thing happened to him too. They must be connected! Sam puppy dog eyes Max ONE more time, begging for him to let his stepmom go. Alas for Sam, his soulful looks FAIL and he gets jammed into the hall closet and a piece of furniture drags over to block the door.

Max heads upstairs, where he showboats his psychic powers and threatens Dean and his stepmom with Dean’s gun.

Max shoots Dean right through the head!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN YOU SHOOOOOOOOOOW!

Season one Sam feels the same way about this vision of his brother’s death. He reaches deep inside himself and moves that X-wing - I mean - large piece of furniture blocking the closet door. He stops Max from killing Dean, but he doesn’t stop him from turning the gun on himself. Max hears Sam’s “murdering everyone won’t fix anything” plea and decides that means he should kill himself, instead. Max falls to the floor, dead. Welp.

As the Winchesters leave, Sam blames himself. If only they could have saved him! “We’re lucky we had Dad,” Sam concludes. 

I swear to fucking god, show. 

“A little more tequila, a little less demon hunting...and then we would have Max’s childhood.” Dean sniffs in reply. (I stab my John Winchester voodoo doll a few times to feel better.) “All things considered, we turned out okay. Thanks to him.”

“All things considered,” Dean agrees while my brain EXPLODES AT DEAN’S PARENTAL ROLE IN SHELTERING SAM FROM HIS FATHER AND THE WORLD. 

Back at their motel, they chat while packing up. Sam stews over what the demon who killed their mom was after. He also has one more bombshell to drop on his poor brother. He escaped the closet back at the house by...moving furniture with his BRAIN. 

Dean being Dean, he holds out a spoon and orders Sam to bend it. DEAN, Sam has to be distressed or high on demon blood to achieve that...and later on it’ll be written out of the show entirely! Anyway, Dean’s not worried. Sam won’t go darkside because he has something Max doesn’t have. Sam...has Dean. 

Quotes Love Dressing Up:

If you're gonna hurl I'll pull the car over you know, cause the upholstery

You’re...dark

“Dean I've been thinking.” “Well, that's never a good thing.”

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[goodluckbabe2024]

my friend i am here with the self insert oc sam parallel episode, i have a history exam tomorrow and i refuse to revise in favor of writing this. let me take you on a journey.

this is very self indulgent and spans kind of the entirety of the series (because im nosy and want to be involved in every cool plot) so im not gonna embarrass myself OR bore you but the general gist of the first episode is this:

i am an 18yr old psychic kid raised by a hunter, meeting the boys in s2 through a “my father was also murdered by a ghost of his past”, except he did not immediately assume i am the antichrist while i was an infant and raised me relatively normal, thus demonstrating that john winchester was a fucked up parent because he allowed himself to be.

i am what sam could’ve been and he is once again reminded that all he ever wanted was to be normal and loved and how that was taken away from him, unfairly. he is angry. he is jealous. he feels bad about being jealous because “her dad’s dead, what the fuck,man”. he wants me to be ok, ultimately, ofc he does, but he doesn’t understand why i got it, why he didn’t, why couldn’t john do it. this serves as more material for soul-searching bc i am a firm believer that understanding the circumstances of abuse and neglect and wrapping ur head around them helps lift the guilt we often burden ourselves with: it’s not that if sam had been a better son john would have loved him more, it’s that john refused to look at sam for what sam really was: a child wracked by generational trauma and unprocessed grief, whose autonomy was violated before he could say his first word, in need of love, and chose to instead look at sam through his own grief muddied goggles and link him to mary’s death. insane how this is turning into sam analysis isn’t it.

i am also angry because im still sort of a child but not really, not anymore, im on the cusp of adulthood and going into it knowing that the world is unfair and hateful, grief is written all over me and sam thinks oh nono, because hope’s kind of the whole point isn’t it, and i had it and now it has been taken from me along with my parent and sam feels so alone and furious with everything, he’s plagued by skull cracking demonic visions, and he doesn’t want this idealized version of himself to ultimately end up like the version of himself that he is now, the one he doesn’t understand, the one he’s afraid of. he’s looking in a weird funhouse mirror, sees a kid who was different like he was but was cherished, and sees her end up in the same position he is now: fatherless, on a quest for revenge. he thinks that if we get the monster of the week, ill be better and he’ll find his hope in that. all roads lead to rome but he wont allow this one to reach the colosseum (defying destiny theme, hello).

the monster of the week hunt begins thusly, with sam generally uncomfortable. i confide in him about my psychic abilities and i explain to the brothers that i can help. both are opposed, but i am a chaotic little bitch and get involved anyway. throughout my involvement, sam learns more about the world of psychic mediums and thinks aha! hope! maybe if i dig deep enough (whore for lore amirite babes) ill find someone who’s lived an experience similar to mine! miss oc what are ur book recs for “i think i am psychic and terrified of it” and i say “fear not nerd have a very small cup of coffee and let me tell you about this great college course on divination”. this is relevant because i wanted to see more of sam desperately trying to fit into some sort of community, even a community of supernatural folk john and dean might’ve disapproved of, and finding that, at this point in time, he does not. he’s an outsider to normal people, he’s an outsider to those in contact with the paranormal. really hammer in that freak (affectionate) tagline. (he WILL build a safe haven in the men of letters bunker for all misfits in his adulthood, party city wig sam i do NOT perceive you)

the hunt culminates in an impressive showdown that includes the following: pyrotechnics, a cool spell, seeing things that aren’t really there, the power of friendship and a butter knife thrown like a frisbee. at the end we all look like final girls because im gay so blood is sexy. sam, who has come to regard me like a younger sibling/some sort of manifestation of his inner child, learns what it’s like to be deeply concerned with a youth’s safety and has a heart to heart with dean about how yeah, handling a teenager with incredible amounts of simmering rage and unprocessed grief while being barely equipped for any guardian-like role IS hard, man, is this what it felt like every time i busted out a batshit plan last minute and barely executed it in time to survive??? “yeah. bitch” “jerk.”

the epilogue is as follows: we see sam feeling many complicated things, but he is satisfied for the moment. we have a little heart to heart while laying flowers on my father’s grave. we both look a little worse for wear, but hopeful. “what’re you gonna do now?” “im not sure. college, maybe?” we keep in touch. i go on to art school and make homoerotic art pieces, as is my right. i make guest appearances whenever they need a deus ex machina bs spell to get out of trouble.

maybe in later seasons i go a little ape shit and commit some magical atrocities in the name of the greater good. maybe i get a little antagonized and he gets to offer me the understanding he couldn’t get when he needed it. i see you, sam, treating all misfits in later seasons with kindness, and i offer you a claire-like parallel to be there for through the tough times, thus healing some of your own wounds. everyone deserves an angsty wlw teenager to bond with . (i am only on season 9 of my rewatch and i have not seen seasons 12-15 in their entirety, if he does get one im not disrespecting that character and i love them probably)

the boys hit the road. vienna by billy joel plays, because it makes me feel things.

Slow down you're doing fine

You can't be everything you want to be before your time

Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight

Too bad, but it's the life you lead

You're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need

Though you can see when you're wrong

You know you can't always see when you're right

You got your passion, you got your pride

But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?

Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true

When will you realize... Vienna waits for you?

end scene.

this is poetry. i will cherish this forever thank you for sharing with me and good luck on your exam

[samclownchester]

Supernatural Rewatch 01x14

Nightmare

(Next Episode | Masterlist | Previous Episode)

(Not Spoiler Free, I’ve seen up to 15x13) 

Alright, it’s taken me a while to write my summary of this episode because it deals with some pretty heavy stuff, and I’m not sure if it deals with it very well. There are people who are much more knowledgeable about this subject than I am who have written really good essays on The Winchesters and abuse, so I’ll leave that to them. I’m just going to try and talk about what we learn specifically from this episode:

I’m going to start at the end, when Sam and Dean are walking away from the home of an abused kid who just committed suicide in front of them and they say:

SAM: Well I'll tell you one thing. We're lucky we had Dad.

DEAN: (Looking astounded and pleased) Well, I never thought I'd hear you say that.

SAM: Well, it could’ve gone a whole other way after Mom. A little more tequila and a little less demon hunting and we would’ve had Max's childhood. All things considered, we turned out ok. Thanks to him.

DEAN: All things considered.

This is an argument used very often throughout the show to absolve John Winchester of his guilt, of how much he failed as a father – it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. It could have been worse. Much worse. At this point in the show Dean is still completely dedicated to his father, and although Sam pushed back against him and thinks how they were raised “was jacked,” I don’t think he’s fully conceptualized it as “child abuse.” I don’t know if either of them really ever do. (Once they kill Chuck, they really need to go to therapy). What we do learn here is that John didn’t regularly beat them. And Sam is grateful for that. That’s a really low bar.

A moment that I feel like is worth commenting on is when Sam is talking with Max, trying to understand him and Max says, “When my Dad used to look at me, there was hate in his eyes. Do you know what that feels like?” and after a long pause, Sam answers “no.” I can’t tell whether Sam is lying here or not.

In my personal, very unprofessional, and uninformed, opinion, I think Sam is realizing that his relationship with his dad wasn’t That Bad ™ and so he doesn’t feel qualified to compare it to what Max is describing to him. (For instance, I have been Depressed ™ but when I had a friend who was officially diagnosed with Clinical Depression and started taking medication for it, I didn’t feel like my experience was bad enough to really compare and I started to think that maybe I had never really been depressed to begin with (news flash, although my experience was different I was still definitely depressed)). But that’s what I think Sam is feeling here. He had a bad childhood, he has a bad relationship with his father, and normally he’s not afraid of acknowledging that, but when faced with something that is bad on a whole different level, he suddenly feels like he doesn’t have a right to dislike his dad. Like he doesn’t have a right to be hurt by the way his dad treated him, because his dad never hurt him in this way.

I think he does know what it’s like to see hatred in his father’s eyes. But John never crossed that line so … it couldn’t have been abuse, right?

(Wrong)

   This episode also features an argument between Sam and Dean that we will revisit often throughout the course of the show: Kill the monster or give them a chance to be human?

Sam: … I was connecting to Max! The thing is I don't get why, man. I guess -- because we're so alike?

DEAN: What are you talking about. The dude's nothing like you.

SAM: Well. We both have psychic abilities, we both...

DEAN: Both what? Sam, Max is a monster, he's already killed two people, now he's gunning for a third.

SAM: Well, with what he went through, the beatings, to want revenge on those people? I'm sorry, man, I hate to say it, but it's not that insane.

DEAN: Yeah but it doesn't justify murdering your entire family!

SAM: Dean...

DEAN: He's no different from anything else we've hunted, all right? We gotta end him.

SAM: We're not going to kill Max.

DEAN: Then what? Hand him over to the cops and say 'Lock him up officer; he kills with the power of his mind.'

SAM: No way. Forget it.

DEAN: Sam...

SAM: Dean. He's a person. We can talk to him. Hey, promise me you'll follow my lead on this one.

DEAN:(After a long pause) All right fine. But I'm not letting him hurt anybody else. (takes Gun)

Something interesting that I’ve notice is, up to this point in the show, almost every monster they’ve faced has looked very inhuman. In later seasons we see more Vampires and Werewolves, monsters who look mostly human until they attack. The monsters the brothers have faced in season 1, even the reaper in “Faith,” don’t look like people. Even the demon they exorcised in “Phantom Traveler” didn’t act like the demons we meet later in the show – it didn’t talk much, and when it did it was with a monstrous voice. None of the monsters have been shown as sentient, conscious beings who can make decisions for themselves (with the exception of the Shapeshifter in “Skin” but he was so obviously creepy and messed up that any sympathy the audience felt for him was mixed with revulsion).

The point is, Max is the first “monster” we are introduced to who we understand to be fully human, capable of reasoning and understanding. Sam, with his deep empathy, sees himself in Max even before he knows they’re connected. He wants to help him. Dean, on the other hand, believes that evil deserves to be killed, and if something is killing people by Supernatural means – even if those killings are “justified” – then it’s his job to put a stop to it. This is something that the brothers never see eye-to-eye on, and it’s interesting to track how it affects the way they approach problems all throughout the series. (Including Jack who, sadly, Dean sees as a monster before he’s even been given a chance.)

 The last comment I wanted to make is just an observation of the different ways Dean tries to protect Sam. There are two points in this episode where Dean is forced to confront the reality that his little brother suddenly has psychic abilities:

Once, while driving:

DEAN: I don't know Sam but we'll figure it out. We've faced the unexplainable every day. This is just another thing.

SAM: No. It's never been us. It's never been in the family like this. Tell the truth, you can't tell me this doesn't freak you out.

DEAN: (After staring straight ahead for a long moment) This doesn’t freak me out. 

And again later, at the very end of the episode as they leave their motel room:

DEAN: I know what we need to do about your premonitions. I know where we have to go.

SAM: Where?

DEAN: (Deadpan) Vegas.

DEAN grins at SAM

DEAN: What? Come on man. Craps tables. We'd clean up!

DEAN follows SAM to the door and pauses on the threshold. He considers SAM, looking very thoughtful, then turns to pull the door closed.

In the first scene the audience (and honestly probably Sam) can clearly see that Dean is worried. But he won’t admit it. He knows Sam is scared of what’s happening to him, but it’s Dean’s job to protect his brother and he’s not going to make this any scarier than it needs to be. So he calls it “just another thing” and he tries to casually say that it doesn’t freak him out, even though it does.

Later, we see him joking about it. In a previous episode I made a comment about how I feel like Sam is bothered that Dean doesn’t seem to be taking this seriously, but in this episode, we see that the jokes are being used to mask his fear (in typical Dean Winchester fashion.) He is deeply worried about Sam’s powers, but he doesn’t want Sam to know. He doesn’t want Sam to worry. So he makes light of it, forces himself to laugh about it, all in an effort to protect Sam.

[gaywitchtwins]

denugis replied to your post “Hello? Rowena already caused the death of at least one innocent person...”

I think a point worth noting in this discussion at Waston-level is that both characters tend at Doyle-level to encounter and connect with characters who share patterns of their history because, well, writers love parallels. You don't get ten episodes into SPN before Dean is encountering kids who have had a traumatic loss/been given responsibility for a younger sibling, and Sam is encountering characters who feel at odds with the identity their family imposes on them

or who feel guilty and implicated in the deaths of others. So, in addition to connecting to others via shared experience (which I really do see Dean and Sam doing in about equal measure) being a normal, human thing, being thrown together with others whose experiences match up in neat, significant ways to theirs is something that happens to Winchesters because it's a fictional character thing.

Totally, yes! Dead in the Water and Bugs are very in your face about it very early into the show - which makes sense, too, it’s the first season and we’re still establishing character here - and in these cases, I think the plot wouldn’t work the same if we switched their roles around, because of who they are as people and the places they’re at as characters in these moments.

We still have that with Jack now, of course - and I don’t want to be too critical of Dean, but the fact that Sam is protective of Jack and believes in the good in him because Sam has gone through very similar experiences and thus relates to him, vs. Dean, who thinks Jack should be killed despite his similarities to Sam is... interesting? It’s entirely consistent with Dean’s worldview, of course, because he has largely maintained his black and white thinking in regards to good and evil and monsters that’s occasionally been challenged since Bloodlust, which is nothing I want to criticise per se, but it opens up interesting perspectives of Sam more often than not being the one who believes in the “good” in people/monsters, considering he’s the one who often sees himself as monster-like? (Also... Bloodlust is before he learns of the demon blood, but Sam is still willing to listen to the vampires and believe that they won’t kill people, so I would argue that the “he only empathises with people he can relate to through his own similar experiences” claim is shaky due to that alone.)

But on the other hand, it just generally makes sense, because it has more emotional impact on the viewer that way. Sure, we could switch, let’s say, American Nightmare around and have Dean be the one saving Magda, and I’m pretty confident he’d make similar decisions as Sam, but it’s simply more emotionally meaningful for us to have Sam be the one dealing with a kid who’s been rejected and abused by her family for her supernatural psychic powers. It’s season 12, they’ve both been through a lot, they’d both feel empathy/sympathy/whatever term you want to fucking use for her. But it’s more rewarding if Sam deals with it, in this case. It just makes narrative sense.

[jacearthereal]

Supernatural season 13 - HYPOTHESES/SPOILERS/STUFF

Can we talk about Supernatural? In fact, the titles of the episodes that have been released so far, because I have some things that I noticed and I need to tell...

Episode 1 is Lost and Found

Lost and Found is a common term. The title can be a reference to something or not and I’ll pretend they chose it because of the fact that we have many characters that are missing/dead right now and everyone is kind of lost.

But guys… I found a book called “Lost and Found”

It’s a children’s book and talks about a penguin and boy and the penguin appeared of nowhere in front of the boy’s house and he tries to help the penguin to find his home because he thought the penguin was lost.

But his home, in the end, was not where it was supposed to be.

The South Pole? Heaven?

The home was with the boy because the penguin wasn’t lost. The penguin was�� Lonely.

I’m dead. I literally cried like a baby. Sorry. Here’s the link to the story:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNgh3Q58QoI

Let’s move on…

Observations:

The episode is going to return exactly from where it stopped and we’re going to see Dean, Sam, Castiel, Jack, and Lucifer.

Also, there’s a guy. Rob Raco as Clark - new character - I thought at first he was going to be the guy that Misha said (beautiful and great) and he was (is?) playing a gay character in Riverdale. I was so nfjrefnerkfjnrfj that day.

Carlena Britch as Miriam - I hope she’s not evil.

Episode 2 is The Rising Sun.

The first thing that came to my mind is The Animals. Supernatural loves rock songs so it can be a reference and The House of the Rising Sun is like an anthem.

AND

There is a myth. Nobody really knows what happened inside that house. Some people think it was a brothel and others think it was a gambling house. Who knows? Maybe it's a new monster? 

Look: 

There is a house in New Orleans

They call it The Rising Sun

And it's been the ruin of many other poor boys

And god, I know, I'm one.

I hope this episode doesn't try to kill me with feelings because I have a Destiel fanfic with The Animals as the soundtrack, but anyway...

Now that I think more about it. Maybe it’s a house where you see your future. Tarot cards, magic and stuff like that.

Observations:

Castiel? No.

Mary? Yes. So we will probably see the AU. And I'm guessing this dude here - Ryan S. Williams as Commander - will be there. 

Mark Sweatman as Tattooist - I think he knows Missouri and will talk about it to the boys. Also... Tattoos? New tattoos? AAAAAA.... I need it.

Jack and Lucifer? Yes.

Episode 3 is Patience.

Another song but now it’s Guns N’ Roses. It’s funny because...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErvgV4P6Fzc

One, two, one, two, three, four Shed a tear 'cause I'm missing you I'm still alright to smile Girl, I think about you every day now Was a time when I wasn't sure But you set my mind at ease There is no doubt you're in my heart now Said, woman, take it slow And it'll work itself out fine All we need is just a little patience Said, sugar, make it slow And we'll come together fine All we need is just a little patience (Patience)

This episode is screaming Dean pining. (My assumption of the episode actually) They already said Dean will cry because of Castiel so I’m just waiting here. My body is ready.

Almost...

Oh, I need you (Just a little patience) Oh, I need you (Is all you need) Oh, this time

Shit. I hope I’m wrong.

I was wrong. HAHA.

Patience is the name of a person but the music is still beautiful so why not?

Observations:

Castiel? YES. - Not with Dean and Sam.

Missouri? Hell yes. And she has a son and a granddaughter who is Patience Turner. A psychic girl. Jody “adopted” her.

The tattooist is in this ep again so my hypothesis about he knowing Missouri is possible (?) I really need Sam and Dean with a new tattoo. Supernatural, please...

Missouri and the cards’ theory: https://twitter.com/Jacestiel/status/895452398428213250

Episode 4 is The Big empty.

I know what you’re thinking. My Chuck, Castiel is there. It’s not impossible. I’m just curious about why they chose “The Big” and not just “The Empty”.

I guess this episode will be about where angels go after they die because supernatural already talked about it and the actors also said something about a place that wasn’t explored before.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7UOOAUXWvA Here at 2:00 ~ 2:29.

And who knows about a place like this?

“The next time you or your brother bite it, well, you’re not going to Heaven or Hell. One of us, and lord I hope it’s me, we’re gonna make a mistake and toss you out into the Empty. And nothing comes back from that.” 

Billie. Season 11, Episode 1

Observations:

Misha Collins said something about a great actor and beautiful too so... I’m guessing Niall Matter is the one? I think he can be a good “Buddy” to Cas. His name is written as Buddy. You see what I did there?

So I guess Castiel is really in The Empty. *sighs*

Episode 5 is Advanced Thanatology.

But hey what is thanatology?

Thanatology is the scientific study of death. It investigates the mechanisms and forensic aspects of death, such as bodily changes that accompany death and the post-mortem period, as well as wider psychological and social aspects related to death. It is primarily an interdisciplinary study offered as a course of study at numerous colleges and universities.

I’m such a nerd.

So, for some reason I remembered this:

Dean dies when Dr Robert injects him with something that kills him, in order to give him time to talk to Death. He is revived 7 minutes later. (6x11)

I’ll just leave this here because of reasons. I also think it will talk about mourning and sadness. I don’t know if Sam and Dean will be already traveling through AUs. But maybe it’s the beginning of the traveling.... My intuition also says something about someone visiting a grave?

AND maybe they will do that thing IN THE END where Dean looks at some place and he’s like:

And he’s just looking at Cas and BANG CLIFFHANGER.

whatever... I’m already crying here.

I don’t know why the song “All by myself” started to play on my mind.

Observations:

Castiel? Not yet guys. Not yet.

Episode 6 is Tombstone

Well... I’m just...

No words can describe my feelings. If they just talk about death, all this season will be so gothic that my years of Linkin Park and Evanescence will just come back.

Observations:

Team Free Will has been reunited once again since All Along the Watchtower.

oh... MY CHUCK. CASTIEL IS NOW DEFINITELY BACK SO PROBABLY HUGS. 

I want hugs. Many hugs and kisses and people crying. Especially ME.

This is the first episode where Castiel physically interacts with Jack.

FATHER AND SON REUNITED. OK. I’ll STOP.

THIS EP IS GOING TO BE GOOD. Davy Perez, please... jUST PLEASE.

Episode 7 is War of the Worlds

HAHAHAHAHA I HOPE THEY DO IT.

Dean: You wrote your own ending, with spaceships. Marie: And robots, and some ninjas, and then Dean becomes a woman... It's just for a few scenes.

10x05 - Fan Fiction

Despite the second act with robots and tentacles, the show has everything: life, death, resurrection, redemption, but above all family, all set to music you can really tap your toe to.

Aliens

Tentacles

“Robots”

AU

Supernatural is really trying to fill all the blanks before the ending.

This is the fourth episode of the series that Richard Speight Jr. has directed with Just My Imagination, Stuck in the Middle (With You) and Twigs & Twine & Tasha Banes being the first three.

I’m good. I’m good. I’m-

Episode 8 is The Scorpion and the Frog

What is very interesting about this episode is the fable around the title.

A scorpion asks a frog to carry it across a river. The Frog hesitates, afraid of being stung, but the scorpion argues that if it did so, they would both drown. Considering this, the Frog agrees, but midway across the river the scorpion does indeed sting the frog, dooming them both. When the frog asks the scorpion why, the scorpion replies that it was in its nature to do so.

I guess this episode is going to be about Jack or Lucifer and their evil (?) nature. You born evil or someone is just evil after growing up around the evil? What’s correct? You can be good if you want or your nature speaks louder?

"It is certain that no animal in the creation seems endued with such an irascible nature...I have seen them attempt to sting a stick when put near them; and attack a mouse or a frog, when those animals were far from offering any injury.”

It’s about trusting the enemy? About monsters again and if they can be good or bad?

Episode 9 is The Bad Place

Just google it. It talks about psychic kids and powers but also about incest and hermaphroditism. HOLY SHIT.

The title of the episode is a reference to the 1990 horror/suspense/mystery novel of the same name written by Dean Koontz.

Well... here.

Frank Pollard wakes up in an alley at night, filled with confusion and fear. He knows nothing but his name, and that he must escape fast, or else he will be killed. Pursued by a mysterious assailant, Frank barely escapes with his life.

Every time he goes to sleep, he wakes up to find evidence of bizarre nighttime travels which he cannot remember. Afraid of his own actions, Frank enlists the help of husband-wife security team, Bobby and Julie Dakota. At first, the case merely seems absurd, but as they track deeper into the life and past of the mysterious Frank Pollard, the Dakotas uncover an increasingly bizarre and dangerous world threatened by a madman who thirsts for blood.

It is ultimately revealed that Frank Pollard is the brother to the mysterious madman as well as twin sisters. They were born from a mother who was the product of an incestuous relationship. Her father was a hallucinogenic drug-abuser and her mother was his sister. She is a hermaphrodite and impregnated herself with her own seed. ?????? As a result of this compounded inbreeding, Frank and his siblings developed unusual psychic abilities. Frank, wanting a normal life, tries to escape from his family while being pursued by his brother who seeks to either bring him back or kill him, and nothing will stand in his way. After a message from Julie's younger brother, who has Down Syndrome and possesses minor psychic ability himself, Bobby, Julie, Frank and his family begin speeding into a final confrontation.

I’m afraid of this episode. No more comments.

All you need to know about Episode 10 - Wayward Sisters is that Patience is back and also Claire, Alex, Donna, and Jody.

Episode 11 is The Midnight train

The title of the episode could be a reference to some of the lyrics of Journey's 1981 hit, Don't Stop Believin'.

Just a small town girl

Livin' in a lonely world

She took the midnight train going anywhere

Just a city boy

Born and raised in South Detroit

He took the midnight train going anywhere

A singer in a smoky room

The smell of wine and cheap perfume

For a smile they can share the night

It goes on and on and on and on

(Chorus)

Strangers waiting

Up and down the boulevard

Their shadows searching in the night

Streetlights people

Living just to find emotion

Hiding somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill

Everybody wants a thrill

Payin' anything to roll the dice

Just one more time

So it’s going to be about vampires... Interesting. I thought it will be about ghosts or even ghost trains haha.

Episode 12 is Various & Sundry Villains

There’s not so much out there about this episode but I think we are going to see villains that we have already seen. Redundant.

More redundant than the “I love you. I love all of you”

Episode 16 is Scoobynatural

Team Free Will? Yes.

I hope what people said about Dean trying to make out with Daphne is not correct but if it is I hope Fred wins. Because Fred and Daphne are the ultimate ship. 

Dean, please just don’t haha.