#and what i did like might as well have been non-canonical anyway

[aeskanera]

damn remember when everyone was losing their minds over Disney making the EU/Legends non-canonical (even though technically most of it pretty much already was non-canonical), and now everyone’s just like wait a minute…if Legends aren’t canonical then I can make up any headcanon I want and it can’t be disproven…male!Revan and his baby and Catholic!Boba Fett can be thrown out the window…perhaps this is one of the best things Disney did with Star Wars

[carolinagirl80]

I honestly don’t understand the whole “it’s just a joke”, “that’s how guys talk” like no?

First of all that’s a lame fucking excuse for his behavior. Just because you’re a fan doesn’t mean you have to protect every fucked up thing he says.

Let’s be honest non of us know them personally, we see what’s online and hear what’s said. So pretending like you know them, saying “he’s a good guy” and defending him like you do is embarrassing.

I use to be a fan of Misha. Well, more like I use to respect him as an actor and I enjoyed him in SPN. This year I had the privilege to meet him at a con. I say privilege because I know that many can’t afford to or haven’t had the opportunity.

It was so awkward, he clearly didn’t want to be there. Everything he said during his q&a catered to the audience. It was over all very fake, I still can’t understand how people feed into the stuff he says.

It really put a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve never been his biggest fan, just thought that it would be fun to meet someone, from the tv show the show I’ve loved for years. That being said if I could go back, I’d save my money instead of wasting it.

I’m not saying he wasn’t nice to me, I did have a longer interaction than others that had been in line. But as someone who hasn’t ever been an obsessive fan, I think it might have been easier not feeding into all the crap he says.

People forget that he gets paid to do this stuff. The reason why he’s a fan favorite is because of destiel. So ofc he’s going to milk it, since that’s the only thing he has to talk about.

All the questions were destiel related, he has nothing else to say about the show. Honestly I don’t think he remembers anything that happened in the show, except from all of the scenes where he can confirm that destiel is canon.

Anyway after that con I watched a few videos of other panels online, because Jensen and Jared didn’t attend the one I went to. And I have to say I agree with a lot of the things you’ve posted.

It’s clear that he tries hard to push Jared out of the picture, he forces this idea of being besties with Jensen at cons. It’s always so awkward watching them together. Most of the time Jensen just goes along with stuff Misha says, so he doesn’t have to answer the same questions about destiel being canon or not.

Jensen obviously takes his acting seriously, he played Dean for 15 years. So I don’t get when he says over and over again, that destiel isn’t a thing. That people can’t accept it and move on. I love Dean, but I’m not going to pretend I know him better than Jensen. He WAS Dean. He knows him inside and out.

Then we have Misha that eggs the fans on during these panels. It’s like Jensen tries to answer the question seriously. Then Misha swoops in makes a small joke out of it, like Jensen has no idea what he’s talking about and proceeds to talk over him. Giving them the answer they want to hear.

It even feels like he’s making fun of the fans at times, knowing that they feed into this crap and thinking it’s funny that they do.

Gives me the same vibes of Regina George saying “I love that bracelet where did you get it”. Then going back to the green room and making fun of it.

I mean he’s made fun of the show and fans before, there are literally videos or posts online.

ALSO!!! The whole thing Jensen said about it not being subtext it was clear text, has been so fucking twisted.

This has turned into more of a rant, sorry. But what I mean to say is I agree with a lot of the things you’ve said. I just don’t understand how people can’t see it? It’s so frustrating.

I don’t hate Misha, it just really really fucking bugs me, that people don’t see what he’s doing. I just don’t get that you, like others who point it out get attacked.

People go on and on about how hateful others are, then proceed to bully people online for pointing shit out? Make that make sense.

Hi Anon! Saw your other message, and yeah, I don't blame you there, but you are good, so here we go. Thank you for the message btw. Very refreshing after my last few that's for sure.

I will start by saying that I have never seen a group of people so willing to turn a blind eye to the numerous inappropriate things their fave does/says as the hellers/Misha Stans. Their mantra in life is "oh, it was just a joke". I mean, they have to say it constantly because Misha can't stop being inappropriate. He kinda has to though doesn't he? Otherwise, he couldn't keep them entertained and he'd float on off into obscurity.

Unfortunately, that requires the use of Jared and Jensen's names.

I'll start with Jensen just because I happen to already have a link ready.

So, with Jensen, he's going to play that Destiel/Cockles card as much as he possibly can. Always has, always will. Jensen has always said that Destiel doesn't exist. (Thanks to @Sammyiscat on X for posting this today, just when I needed it!)

Once upon a time, Jensen did do a little fan service and lean into it slightly during JenMish panels. However, he always made it as clear as possible how he really feels. Then the hellers called him homophobic for it. So earlier this year, as you mentioned, he called it "clear text" not subtext. He tried to be as diplomatic as possible. The unfortunate part of being diplomatic is that it allowed the hellers to twist themselves into pretzels making it sound like Jensen said the opposite of what he actually was saying.

What I find the most interesting is that in the last few years, Misha is on his best behavior around Jensen. He only runs his mouth off when Jensen isn't around. Usually when he's at a European con alone. I'd LOVE to know how that transpired. Jensen is also usually in a pretty bad mood leading up to a JenMish panel these days as well. He was surprisingly ok in Charlotte (except for that one damn question). However, let's look back on San Francisco. Remember when he ran from Misha trying to hug him?

That is the definition of an unhappy Jensen....Yet hellers, CANNOT SEE IT! How can they not see that? Anyways...I could go on and on here....

So let's move on to Jared...

Sweet silly Jared. How anyone could be mean to him I'll never know. Something has changed there too. There was a lot more joking from Misha where Jared is concerned once up a time. Now, everything Misha says about his sounds bitter and or malicious.

He loves to point out that Jared was discovered just walking down the street, or that he has no training or that he didn't go to college.

Then there was the airplane story from last month in DC. It was partially true, but heavily embellished to make Jared sound bad, and what happens every time that happens? Tons of hate descends onto Jared online. People telling him to kill himself. Just pure bullying and hate. Misha HAS to know that is what would happen.

Just this past weekend he mocked him: (Ignore the person who tweeted this. You don't want to go down that route)

What an asshole. I mean really. I know, I know hellers, "oh, it's just a joke" right? Let's not start the "you and your friends have no sense of humor" crap again.

As far as con experiences go? I've heard people say many times that they have had negative experiences meeting Misha. Unless you are known to him already he couldn't care less. Been there, done that, can confirm. Like I said in another post, glad I already didn't like him because I sure wouldn't now!

Edited to add another link of Jensen denying Destiel.

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Lived My Whole Life Before the First Light

Omg here we are. At the end. I'm sad, I've been having such a blast with you guys this week! But all good things... Anyway, this is a strange one, rambling and mournful but hopefully with some sweetness. I hope it makes you feel things, I hope it gives you something, I hope we part on this final day of Painland Week as friends and confidants 💛 Huge, huge thanks to the organisers of Painland Week for putting this magical event together! Special love on this day goes out to @mellxncollie , who has been creating amazing gifs all week and has made beautiful ones for this very fic. It's been so so wonderful to collab with you and everyone should go and look at these wonderful creations at ONCE. Warnings for canonical character death (sorry, Charles) and the stuff that comes with it (i.e. refs to bullying/hatecrimes), non-graphic injury description, and just general mournful grief vibes all round. But hopeful ending bc let's face it, we all know how this played out! 7.3k, M-rated, available on Ao3. Thanks again, @painlandweek!

"Colour! What a deep and mysterious language. The language of dreams."

~ Paul Gauguin

Edwin Payne had always possessed a thirst for knowledge. As a child, he'd wished to learn just about everything there was to learn — every fact in every field. He'd been told, many times, that he could live to be a hundred years old, and still not have enough hours to do so.

Edwin had most certainly not lived to be a hundred. But he supposed that if you added his sixteen years of life to his seventy-three of death, he was getting rather close.

The dead years, however, had been far from conducive to study. Knowledge was hard to come by in Hell. Found either in burnt and bloodied books scavenged from individual damnations, or delivered in the form of cruel trials. He'd been taught a lesson or two in his time, but not on anything so polite and pedestrian as geometry. Edwin's key area of personal study in Hell had been one thing, and one thing only: how to escape from it.

It had taken seven decades, a slew of disembowelments and innumerable failed attempts, but at last he'd passed his final exam with merit. Or at least, a version of him had. But there wasn't much to be done for his original self, whose body lay mouldering on the dollhouse floor beneath a thousand savaged duplicates.

Best not to dwell on it.

He supposed he should have been upset about where the door to Hell spat him out. Not many people would be happy to return to the place where they'd met their untimely, violent demise. But to Edwin, after a small infinity in the blackest pit, stepping back into St. Hilarion's hallowed halls felt like greeting an old friend. Well, friend might be a tad generous. More of an acquaintance, or perhaps a second cousin one barely tolerated. Not a person one enjoyed spending time with, but nonetheless a familiar face.

For a day or so he'd wandered about in a bit of a daze, glancing over his shoulder for any sign he'd been followed from the depths. He'd drunk in every familiar feature, and puzzled over the unfamiliar ones. It was a small change in the grand scheme of things, but he suspected they'd replaced the drapes. They were a lighter grey now than they had been in his time. He wondered what colour they'd chosen — or for that matter, what colour they were in the first place. He'd never thought to ask.

Then on his second day of wandering, he'd stumbled across the old library. And that, for several weeks, had been that.

He'd probably had dreams about this, in his youth. Dreams of being left to his own devices, surrounded by books. All the information he could inhale, with no interruptions. Not even from the other boys. Their voices had startled him a few times, and he was always wary when a gaggle of them descended on the library. But he'd quickly realised that none of them could see him, and so long as he turned the pages quietly, he was free to continue his reading unmolested.

And he did so, continuously, for days. Not even boring old human restrictions like hunger, tiredness or eye strain could stop him now. He read everything he could get his hands on, brushed up on everything, filling in the gaps of the last decades. On the future that had been robbed from him, subsiding into history while his back was turned. He'd sat in his own shellshock when he read not only about how the so-called 'war to end all wars' had concluded, but also how little time had passed before the next one. He'd blushed and skimmed the pages pertaining to the nineteen-sixties free love movement. He'd gazed, thunderstruck, at the moon through the library window; wondering what the Earth must have looked like to the man they put up there.

All these years he'd been trapped in the gutters at the deepest depths of suffering, reaching up towards the light; all that time, humanity had been reaching, too. Up, up and up, all the way to the stars.

It became habit, after that, to gaze at the moon in between books and chapters. An opportunity to gather his thoughts on what he'd just read, to file away the facts, to jot down the most pertinent in his notebook. It was rather a meditative process.

Or at least it had been, until the night he'd seen something else beneath that moon. Something tragically earthbound amidst the gently illuminated greys of the grounds. A hunched and trembling shape against the trees, lurching by Edwin's window. A boy, on the run — his pursuers baying for blood like wolves at his heels.

They could put a man on the moon, but some things never changed.

It would be the first time Edwin had left the library since re-discovering it. Holding aloft the pilfered lantern he'd been using to read into the night, he trod carefully through the darkened corridors. The majority of staff and students were in dorms or common rooms by now, voices a soft patter, bleeding with the light under the doors. No one marked Edwin, or came to investigate the lantern floating past. Though some extinguished their own lights and hushed their voices, mistaking him for a warden. Edwin didn't wish to scare anyone, but he drew some comfort from it. He'd grown tired of being pounced upon in long, black, twisting hallways. How comforting for once to be the root of fear and not merely its captive.

Edwin had to search a little while, but he was already familiar with the best hiding places. It wasn't long before he was creeping up to the attic, minding his ghostly tread upon the stairs. He didn't wish to cause alarm, or send the boy deeper into hiding thinking his assailants had found him.

He crossed the threshold, and at once heard a shuddering intake of breath as the harsh white aura of his lantern bounced off the walls. He supposed there was no disguising the glow. He hung back a moment, conflicted. All he wanted was to offer some light and warmth, but perhaps a floating lantern would be a sight too much for the terrified boy. Well, it was too late for that, now. He stepped into the room proper, peering past the flare of his lantern to the source of the sound. A shivering bundle on the floor, tucked into a nook behind the shelves. Trying to be as small as possible and, by and large, succeeding.

Wide, hunted eyes stared into the light. A voice, low and wary, spoke.

"What do you want?"

It was then that Edwin realised the eyes weren't looking into the light. They were looking at him. He glanced behind himself, just to make sure, but he wasn't mistaken. "You can see me?"

It was also when he noticed something equally perplexing happening to the light. It had started to look... less white. No, in fact it no longer looked white at all, but it had not dimmed, and it bore no resemblance to any shade of grey Edwin had ever seen. It was... he didn't even have the language to describe it. If he had to choose a word, he could only say it looked warm. He'd never seen anything like it. Not in seventy years of Hell, nor in his life before. It simply defied description.

He tore his gaze from it. There were more pressing matters to attend to. "I... I thought this lantern might help," he said, still dumbfounded. He approached, with care — this boy was clearly a victim in this circumstance, but there was a defensive set to his jaw. A wild look in his eyes. A creature caught in a trap was as liable to bite a rescuer as an attacker. "You can simply extinguish it if those boys come up here."

The guarded expression cracked, vulnerability bleeding through. As Edwin drew closer, he noticed that the strange new quality of the light was reflected where it hit the boy. There were notes of something else beneath the pallid grey tones of his skin, something richer. Just as something beyond simple black glistened in his enormous eyes.

"You saw them?" the boy rasped.

"I did. I went to school here a long time ago." Edwin knelt before him, bringing the light closer to the lad’s face and marvelling, quietly, at the strange tones that sprang into sharp relief. Whoever this young man was, Edwin's very perception of the world appeared to be shifting in his presence. "We had bullies, too."

He looked so weak, curled up and trembling. He certainly wasn't weak, Edwin suspected that much. Peeking out from beneath the blanket were shoes and trousers of a kind he'd seen these modern boys wearing out on the sports pitch. The lad was no delicate flower, but at this moment, at the mercy of his wounds, he was helpless.

And if he could see Edwin... then his fate was already sealed.

Edwin looked at the boy levelly, at the fear in his strange eyes. He'd seen that fear upon countless faces these last seventy years, on the wretched souls crying out for respite from their torment. He'd worn a similar expression some decades ago, when a careless act of cruelty had damned him, too.

"Rest assured," he said, gently, offering the lantern. "I shan't hurt you."

He could see the moment the boy decided to believe him. His shoulders slumped, his breath escaped in a rattle of relief. He reached out from his blanket shell, and flashed a sliver of that curiously saturated skin at his shoulder. Against the stark white of the sleeveless vest he wore, the difference was now undeniable. Not grey, not white, but something altogether different. Like his eyes, like the metal at his throat and ear that glimmered in the lamplight. Tones Edwin had never seen before, couldn't even name.

It couldn't be...

"Cheers, mate," said the boy, shivering as he brought the lantern closer. "I'm freezing. Never been this cold in my life."

Swallowing, Edwin nodded. "It's the least I can do."

The boy's lips twitched in a feeble half-smile. "Yeah? You mean you can do more?"

Probably not as much as he'd like. But Edwin nodded again. "Of course."

The light shone upon the boy's face and the dark, waterlogged curls of his hair. Steeped in that impossible hue.

"Stick around a bit?" he asked, his voice very small indeed. "Bit lonely up here..."

Edwin had not come here with any plans to stick around. He'd wished to help, of course. But to say he was unaccustomed to dealing with people was a tremendous understatement. He'd planned to drop off the lantern, check the boy was alright, and slip away without a fuss.

But the boy was clearly not alright, half-alive and fading fast. And he'd seen Edwin, asked him in no uncertain terms to stay. Asked him with all the broken hope in his voice and all the impossible buried, blooming hues in his eyes. And if those colours meant what he had always been told…

Well. How could Edwin begrudge his own soulmate a last request?

"My name is Edwin," he said, as measured as he could manage. "Edwin Payne."

The boy grinned. It wobbled at the edges. "Charlie," he introduced himself. "Charles Rowland."

Edwin hummed. Charles. A pleasant name. Respectable. He thought it rather suited the young man. "A pleasure to meet you, Charles."

Charles chuckled, drawing the lantern closer to himself. "Pretty bloody brills to meet you, too, Edwin."

The colour — for it surely was a colour, Edwin knew of no other word or explanation — of the lantern seemed to pulse, then settle, stronger than before. It illuminated the feeble grin upon Charles' drawn face in hues as yet unnamed.

Edwin would have to find some names. Compare what he could see with what he'd been told, what he'd read. Identify what he could.

While he still had the chance.

"Best thing to happen to me all night," Charles mumbled. "You showing up."

Edwin wished to tell him things could only improve from here; but he knew it to be a lie.

~

"It is the color closest to light. In its utmost purity, it always implies the nature of brightness and has a cheerful, serene, gently stimulating character. Hence, experience teaches us that yellow makes a thoroughly warm and comforting impression."

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"Just didn't seem right. Letting that kid get beat on 'cause he's from Pakistan," said Charles.

His socks peeked out from the blanket, bright white in the lamplight. Interesting — a part of Edwin had always presumed that white would look vastly different with the rest of the spectrum unlocked. It didn't, but there was much less of it. The world was full of more off-whites in more hues than Edwin could've previously imagined. Charles' skin wasn't dissimilar. Pale-ish, but bearing pleasant warm under-and-overtones that made Edwin's look near-translucent by comparison.

"I mean, I'm half Indian," Charles continued. "Why am I so different?"

"That is a fair point," said Edwin, thoughtful, harkening back to some of the history books he'd skimmed of late. "They were the same country back when I was alive."

Fascinating how the times changed, new lines drawn in the sand. Fascinating, and frustrating. In the time Edwin had been gone wars had started and ended, entire countries had been ruptured, borders reshaped. And yet some of life's most persistent mysteries remained unanswered.

He'd not looked much into it, but it seemed little advancement had been made in understanding of the so-called 'soulmate' principle. It had been a frequent enough phenomenon to be common knowledge in Edwin's time, but no one ever had any real explanation for it. Plenty of spiritual explanations, of course. But it seemed no one could point to any tangible scientific reason why a person, upon hearing the voice of a certain other person, had the entire hidden colour spectrum revealed unto them. An entire dimension of the visible world remained inaccessible to the vast majority of the population, and still no one knew why, or even how. Clearly, there was still much research to be done on the subject.

And clearly, the notion of this mysterious person as a 'soulmate' was romantic drivel. Charles seemed a pleasant fellow, but he was a fellow. And two boys could hardly be soulmates, could they? No God-fearing Christian would embrace the concept if that were the case. So no, Charles couldn't possibly be his soulmate. Perhaps the phenomenon represented something else entirely. Like minds? Charles seemed an easy boy to get on with — and Edwin seldom got on with anybody. He even felt at ease sitting beside him on the hard attic floor, nearly touching. Perhaps Charles was simply his universe-appointed fastest friend; the one person in creation who could truly understand him.

Or maybe it was a cosmic fluke, a quirk of biology. Maybe it could have been absolutely anybody in the world.

Yes, that was probably it. Nothing deeper at play than that.

Still, it was a pity Charles would be dead before the night was out. Soulmate or not.

(Definitely not.)

"Right..." Charles mumbled. Followed by a frown. "Wait, what?"

"Hm?"

"What d'you mean 'when you were alive'?"

Edwin looked at him. Charles still seemed rather small, rather sorry. A chilly little lump, all curled in on himself, even now they were side by side and of a height with one another. He looked cold, sallow. Not even the warm hues of the light Edwin had tentatively designated yellow could hide it, cheerful though it may be.

"You ought to move around a bit," said Edwin, standing smoothly. "You must keep your circulation going."

It would do no good, of course. But who knew? Charles might be hardier than Edwin gave him credit for.

"Edwin," said Charles, all seriousness. "What d'you mean when you were alive?"

Edwin's brow twitched. He held out his hand. "Get up, and I shall tell you."

Charles took his hand — and startled. "Fuck — you're colder than me, mate!"

"And for good reason. Come, now. Two or three quick laps of the room. I'll hold the lantern."

~

"Red lips are not so red as the stained stones kissed by the English dead."

~ Wilfred Owen

Edwin had heard some truly hideous sounds in his time. Crunching bones, squelching organs, agonised screams. And yet somehow, the wheeze of Charles hacking up water from pulverised lungs was among the worst to date.

"Are you alright?" Edwin asked, hands clasped upon the table — lest he risk something overfamiliar like a pat on the back.

"I'm fine," Charles deflected, voice hoarse and unconvincing. "Just answer my question.

Charles was looking worse by the minute. The warm tones of his skin that Edwin had grown so fascinated by were receding under sallow grey. A new colour was blooming, in and around his eyes; in the puffy lids underneath, in the spiderwebbing veins across the whites.

This colour was not nearly so puzzling — the veins were a dead giveaway. Edwin had read more than enough crime literature to be able to identify the colour of blood.

So, this was the famous red. A bold colour, possibly quite charming in the right context; which this most assuredly was not. Edwin was no physician, but he'd read a number of medical textbooks. Charles bore all the hallmarks of a man bedevilled with internal bleeding. It was not a matter of whether he would die, but of what would kill him first; the cold, or the injuries.

He tore his gaze away. Anger, bitter and harsh, had him by the throat, had his fists clenching together until his gloves creaked. Who were those wretched boys, to lay hands upon Charles? To break him so? This boy who, insofar as Edwin could tell, hadn't a bad bone in his body? Whatever Charles was to him, soulmate or not (definitely, definitely not), he was his. He was supposed to be his, and soon he would be dead, and Edwin understood, now. Understood how people found themselves mired in Hell's fifth circle, swamped in wrath and rage. For no reason, no reason at all, those boys had taken Charles’ life without a care. Taken his life, and the colour from Edwin's eyes, all in one fell swoop. Soon both would be gone; and if Edwin ever found the hooligans responsible they'd have a formidable haunting on their hands.

"Nineteen thirteen, to..." he counted one, two, three, slowly. Collecting himself. "Nineteen sixteen."

"Bullshit." Charles cocked his head, a small smile of disbelief upon his lips. It was a charming expression, in its impertinence. "When did you go to school here for reals?"

"Nineteen thirteen to nineteen sixteen," Edwin repeated, slower. "I am dead, Charles."

Charles laughed. Edwin raised his eyebrows — and pretended not to be fascinated by the flash of not-red in Charles' mouth, his tongue and gums. What was the word for a light red, again? He was sure he'd read it somewhere...

The laughter died, and Charles' eyes went wider still. "...Oh."

There was more of that not-red than Edwin had thought, actually. The shells of Charles' ears, where the dawning light from the window glowed through translucent skin. He'd never considered that a person's ears might appear a different colour to the rest of them. How many secret tricks of the light had he been oblivious to all these years? How many more had he yet to discover? How many would he never get the chance to see for himself?

Just how much more could possibly be stolen from him?

"I... I dunno if this is, um, bad to ask, or what, but..." Charles swallowed. "How'd you die, mate?"

His lips, too, were redder than the rest of him; although that was fading, rapidly. Cooling at the edges. Edwin suspected that wasn't supposed to be the case.

"As I said," Edwin replied, sadly. "We had bullies, too."

~

"Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay."

~ Robert Frost

He had Charles move around again, though it was clear it would serve no purpose. He was delaying the inevitable. Charles was all but shutting down already; the occasional boost to his circulatory system was hardly going to bring him back from Death's door.

But perhaps Charles would beat the odds. Why not? He seemed a resilient fellow. Perhaps he would, indeed, outlast the night, see another day. Perhaps help would arrive. Perhaps Edwin could give him the push he needed to survive this if he only persisted.

Besides, he couldn't let Charles seize up and expire just yet. Charles had questions and damn it all, Edwin would answer them!

"Actually, you can move around any space however you like," Edwin explained. "It is not that you cannot touch things, you just cannot feel them."

A blessing in disguise, on occasion. Though Edwin had done his utmost to fill up this nook by the window with whatever musty blankets and futons he could salvage, he doubted the floor was comfortable. He himself sat with his knees tucked up to his chest, bracing for discomfort he couldn't feel. It was far from ideal. But he supposed that a hard floor was the least of Charles' problems.

Charles was rapidly declining. That cool tinge upon his lips was growing more prominent, his coughs harsher and more visceral-sounding. But here, at least, he seemed as snug as Edwin could make him. Swaddled like a babe, tucked up against the cluttered old shelves. Perhaps this was warm enough to get him through. It certainly seemed warm, with the yellow light burning merrily on.

It glowed not only off Charles' skin and his eyes, but a myriad small reflective surfaces strewn about the forgotten nook. Edwin was particularly taken with the shimmer of it off what appeared to be a dented instrument — possibly a tuba? — near Charles' head. Metals had always looked very similar to one another, in Edwin's grayscale vision. Now he could see the metal of the horn was a somewhat deeper shade than that of, say, the earring Charles wore. Finally, he could see first-hand the differences between the precious and non-precious metals. Alas, he had few of them to choose from, and little way of knowing which was which. He supposed it safe to assume that the instrument was brass, hence its orchestral designation.

But the metal Charles was wearing was his favourite so far. It had a little of the yellow about it, but richer, more lustrous. Edwin found himself quite transfixed by the way it fluttered and flickered in the light.

He was familiar with the saying all that glitters is not gold, of course. But for want of further evidence, gold seemed as good a guess as any.

"It's stupid, but... I think I'd miss kissing," said Charles. He looked right at Edwin, earring and eyes twinkling with the motion. He did have... handsome eyes. Edwin simply must figure out what colour they were. Of a similar hue but different tone to his hair, to the old wooden shelves at his back. "Do you miss kissing?"

"Mmm-mmmm," Edwin mumbled, with a small shake of his head. "No. Not as such."

How many people had Charles kissed, he wondered? Surely not an abundance, they were of a similar age. Had he kissed someone this month, this week? Today? Before his lips grew cold and chapped, when they were... oh, what was that word for a lighter red? Pink, yes, that was it.

Then again, perhaps he went about with painted lips in every day life. He already wore some sort of cosmetic on his eyes, after all, so maybe it wasn't a stretch for a modern young man. Imagine. A boy, staining the lips of his paramours with lipstick when he kissed them...

Goodness. The world really had moved on.

Edwin cleared his throat. "No," he repeated, firmly. "No, I don't miss kissing."

He supposed it was fine that Charles liked it, though. And maybe he'd get the chance to do it again. He just had to hold on a little longer, outlive the dawn chorus, until the teachers noticed his absence and sent people searching. Then he could keep on living, and kissing and whatever else he wished to do and Edwin...

Well, Charles probably wouldn't have much use for a ghost friend. But at least Edwin could keep the colours. Just a little while longer.

Charles chuckled. It was a bit of a sadder sound than the last time Edwin heard it. "Must've had some shit kisses in your life, mate."

Edwin smiled, tightly. "Something of that ilk."

"Shame we weren't mates," said Charles. "I'd've..."

"You'd have... what?"

A smattering of colour returned to Charles' face, then. It might've been a trick of the light, but Edwin could've sworn his cheeks warmed. "I'd've... well, I'd've found you someone to snog, wouldn't I?" he laughed, drawing his blanket closer around his chin. "Got some fit mates from my old school. And the birds proper fancy the brainy lads."

Edwin frowned. "The... birds?"

"Y'know. Lasses. Girls."

"Oh." For whatever reason, Edwin felt... disappointed. And not just at the apparently abysmal state of modern slang. "Yes. Girls."

He cocked his head, watching Charles carefully. He was a very good looking boy. And he wasn't Edwin's soulmate, couldn't be, but...

Edwin cleared his throat. "Charles?"

"Yeah?"

"Do I look..." He wavered. "...Unusual, at all? To you?"

Charles blinked. "Um. Well. Outfit's a bit retro." His eyes widened slightly, a dash of mortification. "Not being rude! I like it! It's... it's cool."

Edwin rolled his eyes. "I don't mean my outfit, I mean... have you noticed anything different about this room since I walked in?" he pressed.

"Well, yeah."

Edwin inhaled. "You have?"

"Yeah."

He leaned in closer. "What have you noticed exactly?"

Charles smiled weakly. "Well. It... feels a lot less lonely. With you here. Warmer, too." He chuckled. "Daft as that sounds. With you being dead, and all."

Edwin's fingers flexed on his knees — all he could do to stop himself hugging them, wretchedly, to his heart. "Yes," he agreed, dully. "Daft, indeed..."

~

"Green makes me think of silence, or maybe it’s loneliness. I get the feeling of a terribly distant star."

~ Kobo Abe

Edwin had only ever known one person ‘fortunate’ enough to meet her soulmate.

Aunt Florence had always been a bit of an odd duck. Flighty and fickle, a perpetual embarrassment to her brother — Edwin's father — whose job it had been to lend financial support to her spinster lifestyle. As she alleged it, she'd found her soulmate in the late eighteen seventies. For reasons undisclosed (to Edwin, at least) they had never married. Edwin had never had the pleasure of meeting her mysterious match.

She had always seemed very fascinated with the world around her, Aunt Florence. A trait she shared with Edwin; though while his interest lay in facts, hers lay in aesthetics. He’d seen her dedicate hours to the study of a singular rose petal in her garden. Edwin was told she could do quite beautiful things with oil paints, for those with eyes to see. They were passable, too, in black and white, but lacking dimension.

Once, when Edwin was about nine or so, Aunt Florence had taken his chin between her willowy fingers.

"What lovely eyes you have, my boy," she'd said, in a smoker's croak. Uncouth for a woman to smoke, particularly one of her social standing, but she'd never much cared what others thought of her. Her tobacco-stained nail had nipped his chin as she held him close. "Your mother's eyes. Sea green... You'll find yourself someone who can appreciate them, won't you?"

Edwin, of course, had had no idea what green was, and little desire to find out. Not if finding a so-called soulmate was the prerequisite condition. He was of an age where the fixation that grown-ups seemed to have on kissing one another was both vexing and perplexing to him. A phase of his life that, to be frank, he'd never entirely left behind. He'd extricated himself from Aunt Florence's talons as politely as possible, and given her a wide berth for the rest of her visit.

The next time he'd seen her, she had taken one look at his eyes, and burst into tears.

They all ended the same way, these soulmate stories. It was a law of nature. Death was not neat, or particularly fair. No matter how blissfully happy the pair, someone always had to leave first; and when they did, the colour left with them.

Some, at least, got time to enjoy it all. Before their love — and their colour — died away. A few decades, or years. Months, even.

Some, like Edwin, got far less. Hours, if that.

And some, like Charles Rowland, got no time at all.

~

"They're out of the dark's ragbag, these two

Moles dead in the pebbled rut,

Shapeless as flung gloves, a few feet apart —

Blue suede a dog or fox has chewed.

One, by himself, seemed pitiable enough,

Little victim unearthed by some large creature

From his orbit under the elm root.

The second carcass makes a duel of the affair:

Blind twins bitten by bad nature."

~ Sylvia Plath

"Shut up, mate. That is brills."

Edwin was inclined to agree. Especially now he could appreciate the full effect. He'd been aware, of course, that his form seemed to partially dissolve into a mirage when he passed through solid surfaces. He'd been unaware that the mirage seemed to possess a certain hue. Not unlike the hue beginning to bleed through the filthy window.

The pre-dawn light was different to the majority of the colours Edwin had identified so far. It was colder. Greyer. Pale and stark against the opaque black silhouette of the distant treeline (interesting, how the trees still seemed black in this light. He wondered if he'd get a chance to see this green he'd heard so much about before the night was over.) If Charles' face was warmed by the yellow lamplight, it was cooled at the edges by the seeping tones through the glass.

This, like the red and the blood, came with an easy reference point. Everybody knew that the sky was supposed to be blue.

Seemed Edwin finally had a word for the sickly tint of Charles' lips.

"Why don't you fall through the floor?" Charles asked, puzzled.

"There are many, many, so-called ghost rules," said Edwin, sagely. He had, after all, spent several weeks conducting his own personal study and compiling the rules himself. "I shan't waste your time listing them."

"Well, I only asked about the floor, didn't I?" said Charles, a teasing lilt to his lip. Honestly, the cheek of the man.

"Because I choose not to fall through the floor," Edwin replied, in utterly falsified exasperation. "Happy?"

Charles had a certain way of smiling; one that spread up from his grinning mouth and into his eyes. Despite the cold, miserable state of the rest of him they fairly shone with warmth, a merry humour. A knowing gleam that said 'look at us, in on the joke'.

Edwin had never been in on the joke, before.

Charles chuckled; and Edwin did likewise, helpless to the draw of it. The magnetic sound. It had his lips lifting of their own volition — even as his heart sank further and further into the floor.

The blue devils, that's what his father had called it. On those rare occasions when he acknowledged Mother's low mood, or found Edwin weeping silently upon his bed. "You've just got the blue devils, my boy. Chin up, now, and soldier on. You've better things to do than mope."

He could feel them, now, those blue devils upon his shoulder. Cold, heavy, and the colour of Charles' bloodless lips. Weighing Edwin down like stones in his pockets. He hadn't felt hot or cold in decades, but now he felt as Charles must have done with the chill lake pressing down upon him, filling his lungs. And unlike Charles, he wasn't sure he possessed the tenacity to break the surface before the bubbles stopped.

He'd fought his way from the pits of Hell itself, and yet this climb seemed more insurmountable by far. He was no longer fighting his way from the dark to the light. There was no light above the surface of this icy water, no light at all. The light was here, the entire spectrum of it; above was only grey, grey, grey, as far as the eye could see.

"Oi," said Charles. He looked so very tired; but still inquisitive to a fault. "What other cool stuff can you do, then?"

Edwin huffed. "I can travel through mirrors, if you must know."

Charles' blue lips parted, breath escaping on a wonderstruck wheeze. "Wicked."

He ought to be more careful with his breaths. He couldn't have had all that many left to draw.

~

"We love the sight of the brown and ruddy earth; it is the color of life, while a snow-covered plain is the face of death."

~ John Burroughs

Charles Rowland passed away in the small hours of the morning. Edwin didn't even need to look up from the page; he just watched the pinkish tint bleed from his own ghostly fingertips, and made a deduction.

Even before his passing, Edwin hadn't looked directly at Charles in some time. He hadn't been able to bring himself to. The colour in his ailing new friend had diminished all but completely, his skin a sallow patina, his lips a cracked grey slate.

Edwin had only come to know colour on this night, and already he could feel its absence like a hole in his heart. He understood, now, why Aunt Florence had dragged herself so mournfully through her twilight years. Going through the motions of existing. Colour, for Aunt Florence, had been life; without it, there was simply no point living.

Somehow, Edwin found his voice, and he read on. Because Edwin was no Aunt Florence, arty and flighty and prone to outpourings of passion. Edwin was his father's son; he soldiered on. No matter what.

But the ache in his chest persisted, despite his best efforts to quash it. There had been so much yet to see. He'd never witnessed the colour purple — an expensive hue of which he'd heard a great many appreciative things. He'd never seen a flower, any flower, in full bloom, or watched one of those famous sunsets.

In the end, he never even got to see what his aunt meant about his eyes. But he had no reflection anymore, so. Perhaps that one was always a lost cause.

On the topic of lost causes; there was someone else in this room with him, yet. Someone who'd lost far more than a fleeting glimpse of creation in technicolour.

""— I cease to believe,"" Edwin finished reading with a soft, forced chuckle. To no response. He looked up to find Charles standing tall, gaze turned to the window. It was the first time all night he'd been without his blanket; and the first time he'd borne not the slightest shiver.

Well. At least he would never be cold again.

"Not enjoying this one?" Edwin prompted, gently. "Carrados the blind detective was just becoming quite popular in my day."

When Charles turned around, of course Edwin already knew what he would find. Knew what his own eyes would fall upon when they followed Charles’ gaze.

But knowing did not prepare him for the reality. The cold, desaturated tableau of Charles Rowland's demise, illuminated like a crime scene in the stark white light of the lantern. How a person so vital, so vibrant as Charles should be without blood and colour defied all reason. And yet there he lay; bereft of hue, and of life.

Edwin swallowed, and closed the book gently upon Max Carrados. "When you could see me, I knew it was too late."

Charles was silent. For the first time all night. Silent as the grave.

"But I simply..." Edwin hesitated. "I did not want to scare you."

In the corner of Edwin's eye, the lantern guttered and died. Good. It didn't seem right; all that light upon Charles, and not a drop of warmth in it.

"Well. Glad you didn't say anything." Charles' voice was stronger, now. How different he sounded, without the rattle of lake water in his lungs.

Charles looked at his hands. As did Edwin. How strange they appeared, in the bleak grey of Edwin's impoverished eyes. How unsettlingly close to the pallor his skin had taken on in his death throes. And yet he wasn't pallid, not in the slightest. Standing tall, unchained from his ailing flesh, he was more wholly and healthily Charles than Edwin had yet seen him.

"Doesn't feel like I imagined. Being dead," said Charles, thoughtful. "Feels okay, doesn't it?"

In truth, there was nothing remotely 'okay' about this situation. Edwin felt... robbed. He felt robbed. Because he would never know the colour of Charles' skin when it wasn't frozen grey, or beaten black and blue. He'd never see this Charles, standing tall in the dawning sunlight, the way he was designed to be seen. The way he was chosen, by God or fate or an impossible quirk of biology to be seen, by Edwin. Only by Edwin. For he was Edwin's, no more could he deny it.

And Charles would never see Edwin. Not the way Edwin saw him. Because by the time they met, it was already too late. Because in a wretched twist of fate, Charles’ soulmate — his unfortunate, unorthodox soulmate — was dead in the ground before Charles was even born.

And Edwin had thought Hell to be cruel and unusual punishment.

"I sincerely wish we could have been friends for longer," said Edwin, dropping the magazine and standing from his seat on the old trunk. "But Death will come for you, now. You should go with her when she arrives."

He turned, and began his brisk march to the door. What's done is done; and Charles was, unmistakably, done. Done in and done for, done in just about every sense.

So Charles would be off, now. He'd be off, and Edwin would just have to carry him, too. In his head, with his facts and his torments and a thousand tiny heartbreaks. What was another one, in the grand scheme of things? What else was there to do in this fugitive afterlife but keep his chin up, and soldier on?

"Well I'm not ready, am I?” Charles called out. “I don't wanna go somewhere else, yet."

Edwin faltered. Turned. Charles was watching him.

"What if I stay here for a bit with you, instead?" said Charles, preposterously.

"Then you will always be running from her," was Edwin's quick, logical response. But Charles was still watching him with those... those damnably appealing eyes, and he felt the need to defend his case. "Also, I'm not good with other people. And I only just came back to this school after escaping Hell, so. I'm out of practice, to be perfectly frank. So. When the light comes. You stay, and I go."

He smiled, tightly, and turned once more. There. He'd avoided mentioning Hell all night, but it was done, now. No boy with a lick of sense would —

"Well, I'm aces with other people."

… He simply could not be serious.

"Pretty chuffed you got out of Hell, mate," Charles continued, maddeningly blasé. "That sounds hard. Nice job."

Edwin turned on him, incredulous. "That is not how you make decisions," he snapped, taking a challenging step towards Charles. "Just based on whatever you happen to be feeling in the moment!"

"It's how I lived my life."

Charles turned his head, looked down at his own body. Edwin couldn't bring himself to do likewise.

"Doesn't seem all that different now."

Charles looked at Edwin, unflinching. And what a different creature he was, free of cold and pain. Lithe but lax, eyes slightly narrowed in almost catlike contemplation of Edwin. He stood before a hellbound soul, near naked and freshly dead, and yet the easygoing slope of his narrow shoulders bore no strain.

He shrugged, nonchalant. White light glimmered from his dangling earring. "Looks like you're stuck with me.”

For a moment it was nigh on impossible to believe he hadn't seen it, too. Hadn't seen the spectrum unfold when Edwin said his name. Because how else could someone look at anyone, let alone Edwin, with such certainty? As if he'd never been more sure of anything or anyone in his tragically short life.

Breathtaking was not a word Edwin liked to use lightly. In fact, he preferred not to use it at all. Who had ever seen something so rare, so staggeringly beautiful they'd lost their breath? It was the sort of word Aunt Florence would have used; flowery and hyperbolic.

It seemed Edwin owed her yet another apology.

Light flared in the corner. Their eyes leapt to it. It was of no colour that Edwin could see and yet he could feel it, deep in his soul, he knew its shape and colour; blue. A kinder, softer blue than that of bloodless lips and dreary skies. The wild blue yonder that he was barred from forevermore; the one that awaited Charles Rowland with open arms.

Charles looked at Edwin.

Edwin looked at Charles.

Charles smiled, soul glowing lantern-bright in those dark, confident eyes. He didn't move, not towards the light or away from it, but he held out his hand. Planted like a tree, unbending, unbowed. His roots sunk deep into the loamy earth of life; his branches beckoning Edwin into their boughs.

Oh, thought Edwin, when he understood — didn't see, simply understood — the colour that had been gazing back at him all along. That's the word I was looking for.

~

Thirty years passed, fading into memory, and with them faded the sting. It was hard to mourn the loss of colour when one could scarcely remember what it looked like in the first place. Those fleeting hours blended and blurred amidst the grey years, lost to time; a single hand-tinted frame in a hundred miles of monochrome celluloid.

Though he tried to remember, Edwin struggled to visualise the yellow light that had bathed their faces; the gold that glinted at the cut of Charles' jaw. Pink lips, red veins, the blue stain of death. Such things were impossible to note down in a world of black ink and white pages, and his aide-mémoires soon failed him. The colours fluttered away into the past, scattered to the winds of memory like his mother's smile, his father's voice, Aunt Florence's smoky laughter and the roses she painted on the guest room walls.

But though he could not recall the exact shade of Charles' eyes, nor compare them to any other — not even his own — Edwin knew something about them. Just as he knew Death's light shone heavenly blue. And for once in Edwin's long and tormented afterlife, he felt truly fortunate. Because he'd been allowed to experience only a fraction of what the visible spectrum had to offer; colours he could count on less than two hands.

And yet somehow, by some stroke of luck, he'd seen the best one nonetheless.

~

"At breakfast that morning I had been struck by the lively dissonance of its colours. But that was no longer the point. I was not looking now at an unusual flower arrangement. I was seeing what Adam had seen on the morning of his creation - the miracle, moment by moment, of naked existence."

~ Aldous Huxley

~~

Thank you for coming on this journey with me, my darlings 💛 Love to hear your thoughts! Reminder to check out Olly's amazing gifs! This one took a little while to come together, bc in my first draft Edwin's feelings/progression were a bit all over the place. But I realised that all the sections of the attic scene (not including the very first one/my inserted flashback about Aunt Florence) could track along the five stages of grief quite nicely and that gave me a good framework to loosely follow, starting in his denial of the implications and ending in devastated acceptance of what he's lost. As to why he didn't like, *tell* Charles, well, what would you do? Be honest? If you were a dead Edwardian ghost boy and you found out your actual soulmate was not only another boy, but a doomed one? One who isn't even seeing what you're seeing. Maybe he thought Charles wouldn't believe him, or would take it badly. Maybe he thought telling him would sway him unfairly into staying when Edwin believed he should go. I think he will tell him, one day. And Charles is gonna be PISSED that he kept it from him so long xD For the quotes, I tried to stick to things Edwin could possibly have read, so pre-1989 things, as I like the idea of him using literature as a framework for understanding what he's seeing. It was really interesting writing about colour from the perspective of someone with no reference for it! Some of the quotes might have ended up anachronistic by a couple of years, tbh people are *shit* at sourcing their quotes and while I could source authors easy enough it was hard sometimes to isolate what specific book/anthology the piece came from, or what year it was published. If I'd have had more time I would have done more digging! Anyway, that's about all I got right now. I dunno when I'll be back, probably (hopefully) in a few weeks with the next chapter of Lonely Bones. In the meantime please, feel free to continue chatting with me in the comments, on my tumblr, come be a pal, I've had the time of my life with y'all this week and I'm not ready to get off this train just yet! Until next time! 💛

[cossmoluck]

FINALLY finished this

turns out soon means one week+ in my little lizard brain, that's cool

anyways!!! meg

megalo don content,,, food

also, as a treat for making myself take so much to finish this, some of my AU lore rambling thing under the cut (warning, pretty long)

in my design, most of his exterior Nitro armor is removable, being an extension of the augument inside his body, which pumps Nitro both through his lungs and bloodstream, crossing from front to back through his torso. His tubes would be attached to certain openings around his body, which could also have 'lids' put on for safe closing. Every area where the Nitro pumps directly into his body would have 'Nitro burn'- a less proeminent glow than the one in his fueled up form. I, as many others also do, like to think that his mask actually comes off (I haven't drawn him unmaksed yet, but I'll get to that too eventually). One headcanon I have is that when you take his medallion in game, what you take is actually his mask and use it.

For his body I went for a slightly leaner strongman build, as he doesn't seem way too bulky in his non-fueled form, but he's still considerably bigger than most others. I tried to give him a 'scarred shark' look, and gave him burn scars on one arm from a misfiring Nitro Fist hit accident

also his hair look so so fluffy in game and for WHAT

(note, this is all to be taken as an AU. i am by no means well versed enough in Fortnite lore to make something close to canon or actual on point headcanons lol,,, tl;dr at the bottom!!)

i feel like the whole theory with Meg and big chuggus being somehow related is true, but not necessarily in the way others present it usually i don't think they're snapshots of each other in any way, i just think that they've been basically created 'for the same purpose', maybe in the different 'realities?' I'm not 100% sure how the zero point reset worked considering Midas was technically the same and all

so let's say Chaos had created the Slurp legends and Slurp creatures back during the GHOST/SHADOW conflict i like to think that Meg might have been created sometime during then too- a more refined variant of the technology used on big chuggus, enough for him not to end up as brain dead as big chuggus himself (sorry big chuggus)

Megalo Don could have been a fleet leader for the naval forces, as he has an overall very reoccurring military theme with his insignia and stuff. Maybe he was hired by Chaos to aid him and willingly allowing Chaos to modify him into the 'perfect leader', boosted by slurp into near perfection I believe his Oasis style would be what his 'original' look was, with Slurp coursing through his pumps instead of Nitro

so how did he turn into the Meg we know? during the GHOST/SHADOW conflict, his crew got destroyed, probably, and they somehow ended up punished to the Pandora's Box, but not dead like Midas, just punished there I like to think that there is not only one Pandora's Box, technically, and that they're basically some sort of even higher security 'prison' for things deemed disasters under certain circumstances, putting mortal beings into their own personal hell. The ones imprisoned in the Pandora's Box arent necessarily 'dead', like shade Midas in the Underworld, but they're not alive in the full sense either. This particular Nitro filled Pandora's Box sprouted there, leaving behind veins of pure Nitro in the depths of the earth through which the Box had erupted.

in the Pandora's Box, stuck in an infinite purgatory loop of fighting and dying, the slurp that fueled his crew quite literally rotted into Nitro, and Megalo Don himself basically 'rusted' from the rot. The Nitro, essence of death, in a way, compared to Slurp, slowly and surely altered Meg's brain, turning him from a calculated leader into a terrifying tyrant, with nihilistic views regarding his crew and conquest, as he saw them all die over and over again… Another case of 'rotten' slurp beings being Sludge, maybe, as he could perhaps be read as a Slurp creature gone 'bad' (slurp to nitro)

Meg's mind got clouded with the only thing he could comprehend anymore- Nitro coursing through his veins, through his ship, through anything in the living hell he experienced in the Pandora's Box. (Ultrakill flesh prison sounding aah) Obtained by conquest or murder, with destruction being the only method he could even comprehend using to get it, his very life seeming to depend on Nitro at that point, and being released into the world again brought him bo purpose than to seize back all of his Nitro and keep fighting more and more

after he and his crew escaped from the Pandora's Box, Meg had intercepted a boat droning the Island from SHADOW, which had went to scout out Helios after Midas' escape from The Underworld, unaware of the Pandora's Box opening right then, and getting caught in the sandstorm. Meg had just the luck to capture Chaos (or a snapshot), the very man who had taken away his humanity and turned him into a (now) Nitro-fueled beast. From them he also took the island plans, which helped his crew settle in as fast as they did, the Redline Rig digging for Nitro the very moment they got there and the Nitrodrome building itself over the abandoned Fencing Fields, repurposing the fizz machinery there into the dome's car destruction traps

i also like to think that Meg has a father/daughters bond with Scarr and the Machinist, with the Machinist maybe being one of the original scientists on Chaos' team, whom had helped him stabilize his new equipment at the time, and Scarr being a dedicated member of his fleet since before getting banished into the Pandora's Box. Initially, both Scarr and the Machinist would have admired him for his courageous leadership and respected him as a leader, but through their decline in the Pandora's Box, their found family bond only strengthened, with the two of them being probably his only subordinates he actually cares about

i also like to imagine that he had made most of the transmissions particularly silly in hopes of having them tune in on either patrol or at the Nitrodrome and make them laugh with the over the top commentary

tl;dr: i headcanon megalo don as an ex-slurp legend made by Chaos who had rotted to nitro in the Pandora's Box. His Oasis style is what he looked like pre-Box. Also the Mechanist and Ringmaster Scarr are his found family daughters

[halfratsalready]

The "What if the Traveler is Jack's Dad?" Dilemma & The Power of Character Design in Just Dance’s Storytelling

Originally I had an entire post of all of my thoughts on the worry that the Night Swan event will confirm that Jack's father is the Traveler, but this part made up well over half of it, so I made it a post of its own. I might post the rest separately at some point (I don't even know if I actually think that Ubisoft will make it canon, but I did this anyway).

I went a little crazy on this one, but stick with me here. I am well aware that people don't have to look anything like their parents, but in the world of things like video games (and especially in a game that has to rely entirely on visuals in the absence of dialogue), it's not a bad idea to make related characters visually similar enough for the audience to put their relation together, and the Just Dance team has done an excellent job of this with Wanderlust, so I thought I'd do some analysis on it in relation to the "Jack is the Traveler's son" theory we're all so worried about. This is a very long post - you have been warned.

Disclaimer of sorts: I'm not a costume designer. I'm not a character designer. I'm a musical theater composer, though, who has worked closely with artists on costume design, and I like to think that I have a pretty decent handle on the basics of visual storytelling through character design, which is what this entire post is based off of.

(This post also contains a small spoiler for Sweet Dreams, though it seems that it won’t be a beta for much longer…)

One of the cool things about Wanderlust's appearance is the way that the designers managed to give him his own unique look while also paying homage to both of his parents. It's important to note here that both Si'ha Nova and the Traveler were already well established characters by the time of Wanderlust's first appearance in JD23, so it was important to give him those visual similarities to make his connection to them more apparent.

The most obvious visual similarity between Si'ha and Wanderlust is their blue skin, which makes it pretty clear upon first glance that they're related. A non-genetic but still obvious visual similarity between the two is the use of triangle motifs. Si'ha has one on her head and more on her earrings, for example, while Wanderlust has them on his crown, one on his glove, and one on his belt. I think that it's also worth noting that the golden accents on Wanderlust's sleeves are vaguely reminiscent of the ones on Si'ha's purple glove. They both also have purple, gold, and pink in their overall designs.

Wanderlust has fewer “genetic” visual similarities with his father than he does with his mother, but they're still there. The only "genetic" similarity that they really have is the blue hair (granted, Wanderlust's is only a streak of blue, but it's still there, and his eyebrows are blue, as well). They have a ton of other visual similarities in their designs, though. Just like Si'ha, the Traveler has several triangle motifs throughout his appearance. The one he wears on a chain around his neck is very similar to the one on Wanderlust's glove and belt. They both have their own unique triangle symbols, but they're quite similar. Also notable is Wanderlust's half-cape, which is dark with gold accents, much like the Traveler's cloak. Once again, those gold lines on the Traveler's cloak are similar to the ones on Wander's sleeve. Additionally, Wanderlust seems to have the same eye color as both of his parents.

Even when he's been transformed by Night Swan's spell, Night Wanderlust (or, as I like to call him, Swanderlust) has several visual similarities to both of his parents that he doesn't have in his "normal" form. Though not the same shape or color, he has a shape over one of his eyes like the Traveler does, and those shapes on the black part of his shirt are, to me, very reminiscent of the circles on Si'ha's blue glove. And that little triangle on his crown is remarkably similar to the one on Si'ha's head, black surrounded by gold (I also think the blue of the feathers on his cape are similar in color to the Traveler’s shirt).

I know that Sweet Dreams is a beta (though it might not be for much longer) and that it's very possible that if they do release it, they might change this shot, but for now, I want to use it. When I first saw this shot of Night Swan at the end of Sweet Dreams, I was really thrown off because something felt very wrong with it, and I realized that it's her eyes. They are such a bright green here. It felt like such an intentional choice, and it made me think of the fact that all of Jack's avatars (though you can see it most clearly in his legendary avatar) have green eyes. Does he have green eyes in the actual game? No. But I thought it was an interesting enough detail to include here. Personally, my headcanon is that Night Swan had green eyes before she became Night Swan, at which point they turned yellow, meaning that her eyes are naturally green and that she passed that trait on to her son.

Though they're rather lacking in "genetic" similarities, though, Night Swan and Jack have plenty of those visual similarities that Wanderlust has with his parents (I also think it's worth mentioning that, save for that one teaser in Season 1: Astral, Night Swan and Jack were introduced in the same game, meaning that the need to make Jack as visually similar to her isn't necessarily as important, because Night Swan isn't an established character like Si'ha and the Traveler were prior to Wanderlust's appearance). The pink feathers are an obvious visual similarity between the two. They also both wear gold earrings and have a golden chain (Night Swan on her coat and Jack hanging from his pocket), and Night Swan's golden claws are represented by the golden glove on Jack's hand.

I also want to throw out there that Wanderlust is the son of two "good" characters, and his visual similarities to them indicate that he has that same "goodness." Jack, on the other hand, is the son of a villain, and making him stand out from his mother visually is a good way to represent from the start that he's supposed to be a sympathetic character who isn't anything like his mother. Because it's a dancing game, we don't get any sort of dialogue from him that could indicate that he's not a villain, so we're left to rely on his expressions (which Mickael did a fucking phenomenal job on) and his overall design. Making him stand out from his mother visually is a good way to show us from the start that he's not inherently on his mother's side.

Assuming the Traveler is Jack's father, there is essentially no similarity between the two save for the inclusion of some gold accents. I would say they have the same eye color, but I feel like Jack's dark eyes are overridden by the green eyes in all three of his avatars. Granted, it makes sense for Jack's appearance to be influenced by his mother considering she's the one who raised him, but I think that, from a storytelling perspective, it would have been a smart move to include some semblance of a visual similarity between Jack and the Traveler if they had really intended from the start for the Traveler to be Jack's father. If they did intend on this being a plot point from the start, they intentionally kept it a secret by not including a single visual clue, which is, to me as a storyteller, a sort of annoying thing that makes it seem like they’re more focused on pulling the rug out from under the audience than they are on making sure that the plot twists make sense. But hey, that’s just me.

If you actually, read all of that, I love you and you are the best and thank you for actually taking the time to read my ridiculous rambles. I hope it was at least mildly interesting and made some decent points.

[bucksdaffy]

okay, so i've seen some people claim that tim minear is an avid buddie shipper and that he's slowly but surely laying the groundwork for buck and eddie to become canon in the future and...

i'm just thoroughly confused about this assertion.

i'll preface this by saying i'm very new to the fandom, so i'm prepared to be wrong about this. i'm aware i may lack crucial context because i've been here only so long. also, i don't know tim personally, so i obviously can't speak to his true intentions, but i'll make my case anyway.

i'll cite two RECENT comments by tim that i assume people might draw this conclusion from:

[?: There is a sect of the fandom that just wants 9-1-1 to be the Buck and Eddie show, and any cut that removes a second of them is going to get the same reaction. Nothing short of renaming the show "Christopher's Two Dads" is going to make them happy.] T: I totally get that. I even appreciate it. Which explains the entire first act of last night's episode. I kind of did for the Buck/Eddie fans (I mean I really do it for myself in the end). I just thought... they'd like it? Shrug. I liked it, so whatever.

Minear tells Rolling Stone that he hasn’t just been aware of fan reactions, he’s actually changed storylines in the past to avoid being accused of queerbaiting. But rather than help, he says it made the show worse. “Nobody wants to be accused of queerbaiting so I kind of stopped writing those characters together. And I think it hurt the show because I was so afraid to be accused of something that I wasn’t going where I would naturally go with the stories,” Minear says. “I just decided that I just have to write the thing that I think is right. I just have to be honest with the story I’m telling and let the chips fall where they may.”

now, i may be biased, but this doesn't read to me like he plans on buddie endgame at all.

while it's clear he loves the bond between buck and eddie and enjoys highlighting it in the show, saying he totally wants them to end up together feels like a reach.

he discusses being accused of queerbaiting in the past, which led him to backtrack a little and stop writing buck and eddie together. how does this suggest he did it because he wants buddie to become canon? if that were his intention he could have continued to drop more (apparent!) hints that buck and eddie may love each other in a non-platonic way. he wouldn't care about the accusations of queerbaiting so much, because he would be planning to make them canon all along. sure, there are external constraints that could prevent this from ever materializing, but that doesn't mean he couldn't write the dialogue in a clearly ambiguous way so that once he gets a pass and everyone else involved is on board with it, he could confirm that "yeah, you were right; it was a good ol' friends-to-lovers slow burn trope all along. congrats!!" no. instead he backtracked because he didn't want anyone to think he was writing buddie as anything other than a platonic relationship. that's it. but he eventually realized it doesn't really matter because people are going to think what they want to think regardless. and he obviously loves buck and eddie's friendship so he might as well just make the most out of it at this point. and if he ever feels like maybe it is a good time to turn their friendship into something more because it feels right for story, he'll go for it. but if not, he won't.

i see a lot of people claim buddie is a six-season-long slow burn, being carefully crafted right now for future canonization. and they say tim basically confirmed this. but i really can't see his comments being a confirmation of the sort.

if there are any quotes i'm missing that suggest otherwise, i would love to go through them. so if anyone's aware of any, please don't hesitate to hit me up.

but at the moment i believe y'all are just setting yourselves up for disappointment.

[amerricanartwork]

So where exactly are the Local Group iterators located, anyway?

This has been an idea on my mind for a while now, largely for AU purposes, but after pondering this post recently, I decided to try and create some (very rough) speculative maps to visualize my floating theories on what directions each of the main iterators in Looks to the Moon's local group (+ Seven Red Suns, since most people seem to interpret them as being in the same group or nearby) are in, as well as where the in-game regions are on Pebbles and Moon's facility grounds.

These were all made that map image Five Pebbles projects during his first meeting with Gourmand. However, because we aren't given confirmation on which of the two superstructures is Moon and which is Pebbles, I made two versions for each assumption. The first set also has the original images reversed, since it was easier to draw the cardinal directions with that orientation.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Assuming Moon is the one closer to the center:

If we assume that iterators are generally centered in their facility grounds, it would make sense that she would be closer to the middle and Pebbles added next to her later. This might seem like a reasonable construction plan given how it's strongly implied that the surrounding surface facilities were, in some way, designed to support the iterator and/or the citizens atop. Since Pebbles was also a somewhat unexpected addition that was only considered quite late into the overall period of construction of the iterators, it would make sense that he would be added onto the side in an attempt to fit him on the facility grounds.

Version 1:

Version 2:

Assuming Pebbles is the one closer to the center:

This comes from the assumption that perhaps the concentric facility grounds were a later addition, considering Moon is implied to be a very old iterator, she says there were certain "oversights" making her superstructure unsustainable, and she refers to a lot of the regions as "Pebbles's _________", rather than hers. This non-centered placement could have been one of those oversights, and her attributing the facilities to Pebbles implies much of them were designed around/for him as opposed to Moon. This would also make sense given her citizens eventually evacuated to him, so more effort was probably invested into ensuring his superstructure could sustain them for longer.

Version 1:

Version 2:

Also, I wanna clarify I understand that there are probably at least some errors in how I displayed the regions, given that many of them are implied to be or canonically on top of/below each other. But of course, it was difficult for me to convey that on such a small and already detailed top-down map, so I mainly focused on the regions that I thought would be easier to locate and more visible from that perspective and did the best I could from there.

Now, for some greater analysis, here are pretty much all the details I have so far on this subject, many of which I used to determine these placements:

For some of these maps I assumed that the lighter cyan features on this map are industrial structures, since the darker features are mostly circular and could represent foliage/untamed lands. However, this is just speculation on my part.

One of the Karma Gates in this image is the gate Pebbles opens so Gourmand can return to Outer Expanse. From what I've seen so far, though, there's no explicit confirmation for which gate this is.

Pebbles refers to Moon as being to the east of him. However, it's not entirely clear whether or not he means that she's to the east of him specifically, or if she's objectively to the east (as in, to the east according to standardized maps of the continent/planet). Personally, I find the latter interpretation more likely seeing as we have pretty much no way of knowing which parts of the superstructure Pebbles perceives as his "left" and "right".

If we assume the map Pebbles shows is already aligned with standardized cardinal directions, then Pebbles is the iterator in the center.

The Precipice, which later collapses and forms the tall broken structures in Shoreline leading up to Moon's superstructure, is one of the two bridges built to transport citizens from Moon to Pebbles.

Shoreline has a direct connection to the one of the least shaded parts of the True Anointed Citadel (Shaded Citadel), implying this part sticks out from under Pebbles.

The majority of the Shaded Citadel is underneath Five Pebbles and borders one of his legs. However, its area is most likely smaller than his.

Side House (Industrial Complex) has a direct connection to Shaded Citadel, implying that it too is relatively close to Five Pebbles's superstructure.

Garbage Wastes is between Side House and Shoreline. Because it links directly to Shaded as well, it likely also borders Pebbles, which would make sense because it's the rot-infested labs he ejected from his superstructure.

Chimney Canopy, Garbage Wastes, and Shoreline must all border Five Pebbles in some way.

Sky Islands has connections to both Pipeyard and Farm Arrays, implying it's between or above the two. By extent Chimney Canopy must also be near Industrial Complex, Sky Islands, and one of Pebbles's walls.

When Pebbles gives the player the quest to the Void Sea, he says to "go west, past the farm arrays", implying that the Farm Arrays are to the west of him to some degree, and therefore in the opposite direction of Moon.

Hunter starts off in Farm Arrays, implying that No Significant Harassment is in that direction (west) to some degree. They likely used a different, yet adjacent Karma Gate to the one Spearmaster used to enter the facility grounds.

Moon says the purple Pipeyard pearl is "from the old drill site north of the farm array", meaning Pipeyard is to the north of Farm Arrays to some degree.

Outer Expanse shares two Karma Gate connections with Farm Arrays (Outskirts and Subterranean), so all of these regions must be relatively close to each other and near if not bordering the edge of the facility grounds.

Green, purple, and white overseers (assuming they belong to NSH, CW, and UI, respectively) are only found in Outer Expanse (and Subterranean for the green), suggesting they are all in a similar enough direction for their overseers to end up there naturally, assuming their owners aren't intentionally trying to observe/contact Pebbles or Moon. CW and UI could theoretically be on the opposite side of NSH, but this would mean their overseers' range should overlap with many of the other in-game regions, and therefore they should appear there too.

Spearmaster begins their journey implied to have come through the Karma Gate from OE to Outskirts, meaning SRS is somewhere near that direction for that to be the nearest gate Spearmaster would use to enter the facility grounds.

SRS's overseers follow Spearmaster all the way into Pebbles's puppet chamber, suggesting that the range iterators' overseers can travel from the superstructure, while perhaps limited, is decently far and/or that SRS is still close enough to be within this range.

Going off Downpour's explanation of Spearmaster having delivered the gold pearl to Five Pebbles, and their ending CG showing them having returned back to SRS, the distance between them and Pebbles must be short enough that SRS would trust a relatively small animal to complete the journey with minimal active assistance at least 4 times.

Hunter doesn't appear to have any internal means of navigating the route to Moon's superstructure, so the distance from NSH to Moon must also be short enough that he would trust an animal to travel it with and deliver the slag reset keys in a timely manner with even less assistance than Spearmaster.

Oh MAN, now that I look at it all that's a LOT, and I might even still be missing things. If anyone has any more information on where these things could be located, I'd love to hear it!

[glitcheslikeslego]

Chapter 24 (Show Me Your Moves!)

AO3 STORY

Chapter 24 : Nasty Plot

Nasty Plot is a non-damaging Dark-type move that raises the user's Special Attack stat by two stages.

It had been a few days since Spider Queen’s attack, and you still had her helmet with you.

It was probably a bad idea, taking her helmet this way, but you had a plan. A plan that certainly no one can know, except you, obviously.

You were going to save the Spider Queen.

It was a big change to canon, and you know it would screw everything over, but you were going to do it anyway. Mainly to make sure that the Lady Bone Demon could be easier to defeat, and her mech wouldn’t be fully finished.

You know that keeping the helmet puts you in potential danger, especially if Spider Queen counts this helmet as her crown. 

You heard a knock on your door and you immediately hid the helmet under your bed before answering it. It was MK and Mei, joined with Sandy, each holding a bag full of things from face masks to food.

You had all made plans to have a relaxation day again, after what happened, you definitely deserved it.

“Let’s get this party started!” Mei cheered excitedly as she began pulling out all the face masks. Sandy took MK’s bag and put the food and tea in the kitchen before joining you all on the floor.

It was like a little girl’s sleepover, full of self-care, face masks, watching shows, gossiping, and of course…

“Mei, we’re not sacrificing Red Son to appease the Brickit gods…” You deadpan at Mei, who’s gremlin grin shifted to a pout.

“Why not?”

“Because that’s inhumane?” I responded.

Mei huffed. ‘Well, he's not human!”

“Still, the same thing applies.”

I gently put the mask on my face before laying down on the floor. MK had continued watching the Monkey King: Animated series we watched last time, aa Mei still pouted and Sandy properly brewed us all some tea to share.

“No noodles?” You ask curiously.

Sandy shook his head. “We didn’t bring noodles, we were just hoping to order some of Pigsy’s.” 

You cheer excitedly, making Sandy laugh as Mei started up a timer on her phone and we all watched the show with MK, yet again, he was infodumping about the show while laying down and watching the show. 

“And then, the Six-Eared Macaque attempted to get away, but Sun Wukong stopped him! I wasn’t told what happened to him, but whatever Monkey King did for him to hate him must have been really bad.”

You nod along as MK continues to loredump the entire show as things are happening on screen, and time flies by quickly before Mei’s alarm goes off, letting you all take your masks off.

Eventually, the doorbell rang, and opening it revealed Pigsy and Tang, who both had bags of fresh noodles in their hands. “Sorry if we’re late, we bought food.” Tang said.

You let them in and call everyone to sit anywhere they find room. Tang, Pigsy and Sandy all sat on the chairs of the counter, while you, MK and Mei all sat at the couch, continuing to watch the show.

“Mmm, no matter what, Pigsy’s food is always so good!” You say with a smile as you chow down on the noodles with newfound energy.

Flustered, Pigsy quietly thanked you before going back to eating his own. Tang laughed teasingly over his reaction. 

Everything was so relaxing that, by the time everything was done and they all left, you had nearly almost forgotten your plan to save the Spider Queen. 

You held her helmet again and you laid in your bed. Your plan was to save her and her goons, but you had a very low chance of saving them all, and your best bet was to just save her. 

What repercussions would this have? You only had theories, since Spider Queen’s death was a major point in the Lady Bone Demon gaining her powerful Mech, so how would canon react?

At this point, you had just been screwing canon over just by being in the show, so might as well screw it over purposefully this time around. 

You hid the helmet in a box under your bed before going to sleep that night. 

~~~

<PREV ~ NEXT>

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

March 10th

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1. Alright, I’m in need of some help finding a fic! I remember a few things but haven’t been able to find it yet in my history and I apparently didn’t bookmark it like a dumbass! Anyway, I remember that it was canon divergent around the time of Sunshot, I remember that JZX is stabby because he’s half Yu and they’re the clan where you have to be inventive as well as stabby to earn your place? The Yunmeng trio go to Meishan to get help and I believe Yanli is sect leader so it might be a no golden core transfer fic? The thing I remember most is that JZX kills Wen Xu himself (with a poison knife?), and the intricacy of the traps you have to work through in order to get into Meishan territory. Hopefully this is specific enough! Thanks! @belovedmuerto

FOUND! Moments of Revelation by meyari (T, 133k, ChengSang, WangXian, XiYao, POV JC, Canon Divergence, Temporary Character Death, Character Death, not anyone we care about, Time Travel Fix-It Self-Sacrifice, Torture, Chronic Pain, Chronic anxiety, Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Chronic Mental Health Issues, Assassination, renamed MY, Families of Choice, Unreliable Narrator(s), Demonic Possession)

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2. Hi! I'm looking for a fic I've read where wwx reincarnates and lwj tries to say i love you to him but wwx keeps on deflecting or just says thank you. I think lwj also tries to make wwx fall in love with him again because wwx is afraid to give his love to lwj again after what he did to him. AHHHH I really need to read it againnn!! Thank you so much for your help!

FOUND? When the Words Stop Coming by mrcformoso (T, 7k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Canonical Character Death, Love Confessions, Rejection, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Trauma, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending)

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3. Hi! i'm looking for a fic: omegaverse. yllz!wwx and general!lwj, more or less. at the start the two don't know each other (iirc), and lwj has basically been sent to negotiate with wwx, ideally for a surrender. they decide to have a duel and it becomes clear part way through that wwx is an omega. lwj kind of loses control of his instincts and bites wwx as like, a dominance thing in the fight, but then things get kind of hand (in a sexy way). i think they get together after that? thank you <;3 @motherfuckingnazgul

FOUND! take a chance on me by gremlinsae (E, 9k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, Accidental Bonding, dubcon, Swordfighting, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Canon Sexual Dynamic, Scenting, Badass WWX, Banter, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Royalty, cw: discussion of omega trafficking and sexual assault, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault)

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4. Shifting through my read history continues to be an exercise in making myself cross-eyed, so: looking for a fic where JC is under the impression that LWJ lost someone (he thinks it's probably LSZ's mother) because of WWX. In one scene, he's eavesdropping on the junior quartet from an indoor balcony. Then some years later he realizes that the person lost was actually WWX himself; what helps him come to this conclusion is a song WWX used to sing that he overhears LSZ singing a modified version of while on a night hunt(?). @linderel

FOUND! sing to the clouds in summer by stiltonbasket (G, 28k, JC & WWX, JC & JL, wangxian, JL & LSZ & LJY & OYZZ, 13k words of JC figuring out that LSZ is his nephew, ft. LXC and NHS the overprotective uncles, and LWJ giving JC death glares, Family Secrets, Reconciliation, Sad JC, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Podfic Available)

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5. Hello! I’m looking for a fic where it’s single dad!lwj and his babysitter was abusing a yuan ?? Or left him somewhere. and WWX sees it, realizes he’s a lan and says the kid is lucky because chances are he knows who his dad is. Then he calls LWJ’s law office to speak with him?

Sorry it’s so vague that’s all I remember lol. Thanks for all that you do for this fandom!❤️

FOUND? 🧡 Yiling Salon: Hair, Nails and Piercing by TriviasFolly (T, 22k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hairstylist AU, Hairstylist WWX, 5+1 Things, Fluff, Experimental style) Not sure if it's the best fit, based on the summary, but it made me think of that fic

FOUND? five years gone by quillifer (E, 14k, WangXian, Mpreg, a/b/o dynamics, Alpha WWX, Omega LWJ, Breakup/makeup, Miscommunication, Pregnant Sex, consent is king, soft sad and horny, Happy Ending, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Modern AU, Unplanned Pregnancy)

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6. Hi Mods. You guys are doing a fantastic job as always with this blog. It's definitely become my miracle drug for all things MDZS. On that note, HELP! I can't seem to find a specific canon-divergent WX story. Two monks/rogue cultivators find unconscious WWX after he's been strangled by JC. They take him in. He learns art/crafting from them. They adopt him. He only runs into LWJ between commissions and travel with his master. He makes the village a Wen sanctuary and helps the common people in SSC @jovialtyrantdreamer

FOUND? 🔒 Away from Trouble by Ilona22 (M, 15k, wangxian, Alternate Universe, Not JC Friendly, WangXian Get a Happy Ending)

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7. hi... could you help me find a fic I read a while ago? wwx and lwj are trapped in the turtle cave... without energy... they do double cultivation (through sex*)

Time passes to the part where wwx is given hi core jc

When WQ removes WWX's core, he discovers that he was pregnant...

It's not Omegaverse

FOUND! Impermanence, Transience, Permanence by Best Bepsy (BepsyGray) (E, 39k, wangxian, canon divergence, unplanned pregnancy, mpreg, gore, sunshot campaign, assumed miscarriage, medical procedures, childbirth, golden core reveal)

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8. Hello it's me again!! I remember reading a fic where Wei Wuxian could control dead animals. There was this particular instance of a black puppy owned by Jin Zixuan which later turned into a yao? I have forgotten the rest since I read it a couple of years ago.

Again thank you for your amazing work!! @yilinglaobunny

FOUND? 🧡 a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke ( M, 180k, WangXian, Arranged marriage, Canon Divergence, Hurt/comfort, Light angst, Canon typical violence)

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9. Hi! I’ve been looking for a fic for a while that I read about a year ago. I was wondering if you knew it? It’s Wangxian and they become friends in the Cloud Recesses Arc. But while they’re studying there, they learn that they can use their golden cores to sort of fuse into one person. All the cultivators can do this in this au. It’s a multi chapter fic, but I don’t remember much else about it other than it was really good and I haven’t been able to find it since. 🥲 @0utertale

FOUND! ❤️ Gentians in bloom by teawater (M, 251k, WangXian, XiQing, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, Political Marriage, Dysfunctional Family, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, LQR bashing (not really), POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Eventual Happy Ending, BAMF WWX, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, madam yu bashing (again not completely), MXY Deserves Better)

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10. i sent this before but i think it might've gotten lost last round, im looking for a modern au where lan zhan lost track of wy after he claimed to be the father of wq's child and they bailed. wy wasn't the child, jc was, but jc dumped her when her family had troubles and then claimed she "slept around" when wy claimed his baby; wy, naturally, punched him about it and raised ayuan. lz is ashamed of abandoning him during the scandal when they meet again years later but they work it out and wq coparents

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11. Hey I’m trying to a find a fic but I only remember one scene

It’s might be a time travle fic idk

It’s where wwx got the swords back from the wen indoctrination camp and when thanked he says consider it there jiangs contribution to the war

And nmj noticed this and his wording bc of the state the sect is in(madame yu might be alive in the fic I can’t quite remember) and admirers how he’s doing that feather then just taking all of the credit for himself @zerokogane

FOUND! Half of my soul by Asphodel_Meadow (T, 8k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, No Golden Core Transfer, Fix-It, 5+1 Things, kinda soul bond but with their golden cores, POV Outsider, POV Alternating)

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12. Looking for a fic I read a while back— teenage/sunshot era LWJ time travels to the future and wakes up in bed with WWX. I clearly remember LWJ freaking out when WWX wakes up because there’s a baby in WWX’s arms.

FOUND? These Two Most Powerful by stiltonbasket (G, 4k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, Married Life, Family Feels, Parenthood, Temporary Amnesia, Time Travel, it’s amnesia but it feels like time travel to LWJ, wangxian have more babies, and they are the cutest buns, not your average amnesia fic? there’s no drama here tbh, just soft husbands carrying on with fatherhood, And loving each other, Mild Angst, Happy Ending)

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13. hi! i'm looking for a fic where lz moves into wy's apartment because of the cheap rent but it's cheap because wy has like 2 panthers(?) living with him. i rly hope it hasn't been deleted cause i've been searching for a bit and can't find it

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14. hello! this is for the fic finder, there was this fic I remember specifically bc of one scene with jc. essentially, there was a little girl that fell into a lake in lp, while her mother was busy doing smth on a boat?? it was harvest season, I think. I remember that both jc and wwx fell into the lake to find the little one and what made me remember that fic was that jc lit up the whole lake with zidian. I think it was a long fic and in the end he also married the girl's mother. oh I'm pretty sure that jyl and jzx were alive too but I could be wrong.

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15. Hi! I am looking for a fic.All I remember is that Wei Wuxian arrives to the cloud recess and he meets Wanji. He talks about his future special one that when he fights and claims them he wants everyone to know that. But instead Lan Zhan corners him several times outdoors and in the library. And in the end Wei Wuxian is the one being claimed. I think I read it on ao3 and that this author had several good works. But I can't find them now 😭

FOUND? teeth on my waist (i come undone) by martyrsdaughter (E, 20k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Public Claiming, Sexual Tension, Obliviousness, Canon Era, Cloud Recesses Study Arc Exhibitionism, Public Humiliation, Dom/sub, Bondage, Masturbation, forced presentation, Dubious Consent, Knotting, Come Marking, Come Shot, Non-Consensual Spanking, LWJ and WWX Have a Breeding Kink, Pregnancy Kink, Some Feminized Language, Subspace, Rimming)

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16. hii can you help me? there is a fic i thought i added to marked for ltr but i cant find it anywhere :(

it was about jin ling hurting wei wuxian after his identity reveal in the carp tower, but the wound was way more serious,, i think in the fanfic's description was "jin ling got more time to rethink everything after wei wuxian blah blah" or smth similiar; also i'm pretty sure there was a tag about stomach infection or stomach wound infection basically a fic about wei wuxian being hurt lol

thanks&lt;;3 @r3n-vy

FOUND? Sorry and Thank You by Morgana_avalon (G, 57k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, JL & LSZ & LJY, JL & NHS, LXC & NHS, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, JL suffering an emotional breakdown, JL stabbing WWX at the Jinlintai, Introspection, canon divergent but also canon compliant, Bad brother JC (but not too bad), NHS taking an interest in JL, painful and infected stomach wound, LXC to the rescue, WWX & LWJ are married, WWX has no golden core, NHS's hand fan is not what it seems, NHS is a determined little devil)

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17. There's a fic where they used incense burner again and Lwj is sentient but wwx-in the dream he's freshly resurrected wwx-is not. Lwj fucks him and Wwx is pleading with him to stop But then Lwj says in his ear, "you like it when I rape you.

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18. Hi! I'm looking for a fic where, post Fall of Lotus Pier, JC chokes WWX to death and his corpse is found by LWJ. Sadly I don't remember any more details. Thanks! @lucicarebloggs

Found?🔒 a star called sun by thelastdboy (E, 120k, WangXian, SongXiao, XuanLi, Canon Divergence after Xuanwu Cave, Fall of Lotus Pier, But worse!, Power Imbalance, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Not Everyone Dies AU, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Canon-Typical Violence, Sunshot Campaign, Miscommunication, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Major Character Injury, Loss of Limbs, Chronic Illness, Seizures, WWX's Three Months in the Burial Mounds, Wēn Remnants Live, Wēn Remnants Deserve Better, WWX Creates a Sect | Yílíng Wèi Sect, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Hurt/Comfort, Selectively Mute LWJ, Service Animals, Crows)

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19. Hi! 🤗 I'm looking for a fic.

I don't remember much, but I remember some scenes. The idea of the story was something like if you can't beat them, join them to your sect. WWX doesn't create the Wei sect, but everyone seems to think so. Meng Yao gets locked up in Yilling and becomes something like the administrator of WWX. NHS has an information network and gives everyone a messenger bird except WWX and WWX makes a dead bird serve him. A crow, I think. I think NHS also brings them food and helps improve the town. And I also think he makes the design of Wei Ying's sect's robes.

I don't remember more, but I know that I really liked the Fic and it was long.

Thanks! I hope you can help me find it. 💕 @wangxiansgirl

FOUND! if you can’t beat them, recruit them by moeblobmegane (T, 228k, Wangxian, NHS & WWX, WWX & WQ, Time Travel Fix-It, Conspiracy, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Found Family, Burial Mounds, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Morally Ambiguous Character, Rumors, Politics, Developing Friendships, Good Uncle LQR, Demonic Cultivation, YilingWei Sect)

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20. Heyy! Looking for a fic where lwj was a single parent, I don't remember the other details but it came out that jyl (who was friends with lwj) was sending baby pictures of a-yuan to wwx to help him recover/keep going. Can't remember which fic this was. @vulpeculatee

FOUND! box your errors by mellowflicker (T, 42k, WangXian, Modern AU, single dad lwj, Domestic Fluff, Family Issues, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, let lwj have friends agenda, Hurt/Comfort, Pining)

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[hard-times-paramore]

Why Nero Devilmaycry is Asexual

It's a headcanon, but turns out I had a lot of evidence. And even if I didn't I like when I have characters I can relate to with this one thing about myself, so nothing you could say would stop me. Still. Hear me out now. If you’re open to reading this post, then let me tell you, I think it very well holds up in canon.

As a start, look how he acts when he sees the sexy demonic lures from that frog demon in DMC4:

His reaction to the demons is to notice they’re causing a stinky storm which is probabbly hiding something, and he kills them. That’s it. Not even a fucking comment. In fact he even seems a bit avoidant.

Now compare it with Dante’s scene.

He knew they were in fact lures for a giant evil smelly frog, and yet he joins in the game and acts all flirtatious, actually acknowledging that he’s being faced with two sexy naked ladies.

Another evidence is Nero’s immediate reaction to seeing Gloria. Which I don’t even think needs any comments. Just

He can’t even look directly at her. He’s so uncomfortable help him.

Of course one might argue that all of that is because he’s in love with Kyrie. And I totally agree, he is in love! He’s asexual but not aromantic, and he loves her. But being in love with someone - and considering they weren’t together yet - doesn’t mean shutting down all interest and attraction to other people. Since he doesn’t show that attraction in the slightest, I think it’s cause it’s not there to begin with.

(On that note, it's nothing big but Nero is in love with Kyrie, one of the few female characters whose clothes cover her up. She’s a lot more modest/non sexualized when compared to Lady or Trish.)

But that was DMC 4. What about how he's like in the next game?

What I’d say from this game, is that Nero is ace, but he’s not out to Nico. And I can understand why, because Nico’s dirty jokes are like, Her Brand when it comes to humour. Dante would love chatting with her. Nero, however, does not. 

I mean, a dirty joke was her first reaction when Nero tried to tell Kyrie he grew back a whole arm

(he’s tired)

Whenever innuendos happen in this game towards Nero, it’s been because of Nico. Look at what she wrote in her diary, when she gave Lady her clothes after Nero rescued her.

Even though Nero himself during that scene was focused on her wellbeing and asking about his friends, nothing else (…actually, in that scene V was the one who made the comment about Lady’s appearance. V, who is Vergil, and the only other time they ever met was when they were a bunch of teenagers trying to kill each other, and uh. Awkward).

And since we brought this up, when Lady was rescued from inside of the Artemis demon, she was completely naked, but Nero?? Payed no attention to that?? He only looked at her face, and was mainly concerned with her safety and with the fact she was Dante’s friend, not about her body. She could have been fully clothed and there would be no difference. 

It took Nico’s little comment for him to realize that “wait, she’s naked, wait, I have a girlfriend”, I mean. He goes “what?” and it takes him three full seconds to remember that, complete with a face journey:

Like, it’s just my humble opinion but if someone forgets that carrying a beautiful nude stranger in your arms miiight be kind of erotic, maybe sexuality just doesn’t occupy that person’s mind for most the time in the first place.

And holy shit, speaking of Kyrie, Nico seems rather interested in their sex life. She literally built an arm for Nero with the purpose to make sex more comfortable for them. And he did not ask her to build it, because she never tells him what she’s making beforehand, and by her comments it was supposed to be a surprise anyways. He ends up using it for healing.

Complete with that sexy joke she makes when Kyrie called him in the end, and the reaction she got, I conclude the following: yeah Nero is still ace as heck, he just hasn't come out to her yet. I get him, he doesn’t know her for that long, and I have that kind of friend too.

And just as a final point, just take a look at the main characters in this series! They all have shown a rather sexual side (specially in DMC4 which is by far the horniest game of this series). There’s Dante with his constant teasing and innuendos, Lady and Trish with their provocative clothes and body language, and even some demons sometimes act like that. But Nero? He seems to be an exception to that rule. In all his sarcasm and attitude, he’s still more about the taunting and mocking the enemy than flirting with it. While he’s the only one to have a love interest, the dynamic of their relationship shows a profound bond, loyalty, protectiveness and warmth. And yet with all that, it doesn’t get on the sexual side that was to be expected of those games, considering the other characters.

So, yeah, that's been my Ace Nero Manifesto. I wrote my evidence but, in reality nothing can stop me from headcanoning a character as ace just because I feel like it.

[sapphorror]

The relevance of chronology in IZ is dubious at best (in the show—it is flat-out non-existent in the comics), but I do kind of love to think about it regardless because there are so many weirdly specific points of internal continuity, practically and sometimes even emotionally, that we can't pretend there's absolutely nothing to examine there, even if the degree to which it matters is next to null. And anyway, I love a fool's errand.

So with that disclaimer I'd just like to talk about everyone's favorite organ harvesting episode and how much it kills me when examined in the context of an on-going continuity, because it's not just one of the most horrifying things Zim ever does across canon, it's really the first horrifying thing that Dib is present to bear witness to, at least on that scale. For all that NanoZim must've been scary and violating on a personal level, it was ultimately still a contained, targeted attack, and not even an unjustified one—not that Dib would consciously think of it this way, but Zim was acting in reasonable self-defense, he just chose to be really brutal and vindictive as he did so. Plus, Dib did come out on top of that encounter, so there were no real lasting consequences besides losing his evidence, which only put him back to square one. Basically, it was a great basis for forming a personal grudge, but it didn't really say anything about how generally malicious or threatening Zim actually was outside the context of their quickly-coalescing rivalry. Zim's only a monster at this point insofar as it's fun for Dib to have a dragon to defeat. The danger he poses does not yet hang over Dib's head like a guillotine.

Dark Harvest, though. In Dark Harvest, Zim shows just how capable he is of committing brutality on total bystanders at a mass scale under much less urgent circumstances without so much as a trace of hesitation or remorse—and by the end of it, Dib learns firsthand how severe the consequences for losing to Zim can actually be. Healed through the miracle of the status quo reset button or not... well.

And this adds a lot of context to why Dib spends the rest of the series so totally convinced of the danger Zim poses, even if most of the time that POV is extreme overkill. If he ever starts to doubt the necessity of his mission, just think about the time Zim stole a bunch of kids' organs, and that's irrefutable proof that Zim CAN accomplish terrible things if left unchecked. If he ever starts to doubt the morality of his intentions, just think about the time Zim stole a bunch of kids' organs (and would do so again!), and he can rest easy knowing Zim deserves every terrible consequence coming for him. If he ever forgets why he absolutely cannot afford to let his guard slip for even a second, just think about the time Zim stole a bunch of kids' organs, including Dib's, and now he remembers exactly why it's so important Zim's never allowed to gain the upper-hand. Even when he finally ditches Zim in Mopiness of Doom, it's not because he stops seeing Zim as a threat, it's that he's gotten too burnt out on single-handedly saving the world all the time to care.

(Gaz, of course, was there too and still thinks Zim is harmless, but Gaz also thinks expressing pain after having your entire lower body melted into off-brand bug spray makes you a whiner, so let's not put too much stock in her judgement here)

Even during Dark Harvest, Dib's immediate response upon finding Zim is to tell him this is totally beyond the pale, as if Zim might actually care—and while Dib trying to convince Zim he's acting totally unhinged isn't exactly unusual throughout the show, past this point he usually does so by appealing to Zim's self-interest ("stop trying to blow up the planet, you're still ON the planet") rather than any hypothetical better nature or good sense, can you even imagine. But that's exactly what he does here, reflexively or not, and that to me is a perfect demonstration of how this episode marks a radical shift in what Dib thinks he's up against.

And for some bonus meta? This also stretches into The Wettening in a really fun way, which is the second episode after Dark Harvest and the first with Dib. The sheer glee Dib takes in exploiting the new-found weakness for all it's worth, just because he can, makes a lot of sense in the wake of Dark Harvest and his new understanding of Zim as an out-of-control inhuman lunatic he has no idea how to stop. Seeing Zim vulnerable to something, openly afraid, and in obviously agonizing pain—well, humanizes would be the wrong word under the circumstances, but it cuts him back down to mortal size. He might be tough, and he might be terrifying, but he's not invincible. Even after Zim very unambiguously wins that fight and finds a way to protect himself from Earth's water, the important take-away is that there are things that can hurt him—Dib just has to figure out what they are. If Dark Harvest is the episode that shows Dib Zim is truly a monster, The Wettening is the episode to teach him even real monsters can be defeated.

[ender--slime]

long post about the 10/8 update incoming!!!!!!!

ok i dont usually post my thoughts on updates bwcause im the number one adhd rambler of all time but here we go.. you get to read them today!!!!!!! SO. one of my big HSBC theories is that Ult Rose is actually the mastermind of sorts behind the whole story. not in an evil way, because dirk isnt even evil, just in the way that she knows a lot more than shes letting on!!! and that dirk and al might not be the only ones with real influence here. this theory was first thought up by my friend @classpectpokerap and its called the "Gloves are Canon" theory and you can read about it more in-depth here and here! as a fun challenge go back and read the epilogues and early hs2 (and also new updates) with the idea that rose knows more than we think. youll get some really fun stuff out of it and hopefully youll be convinced :p

SO ANYWAYS. how does this concern the 10/8 anniversary update?

HOO BOY

first of all, lets get a few content warnings and things outta the way. this lil analysis is gonna talk about some suicidal characters and suicidal ideation so plz !! be warned!!

first off, we know that Ult Dirk is really just afraid. hes not scary or intimidating at all, to the reader, because he killed himself in one timeline and hes really just trying to do it again. he even says this in the epilogues- that he hopes his death is Just when it comes, and he hopes its dave that does it. dirk feels as though he doesnt belong- hes always felt this way. he thinks the world and his friends would be better off without him, and his last gift to them is to create a new universe where they can start fresh outside of lord english's influence for good. he might be the most obnoxious narrator on earth c, claiming that he knows whats best and that hes doing right by everyone and by you, as the reader. but the TAGLINE of the epilogues are "tales of dubious authenticity". it tells you from the start that youre dealing with the worlds most unreliable narrator here. a guy who says one thing, says hes fine, puts on a mask to make himself seem stronger, but is always harboring the most pain. who also thinks this way?

rose fuckin lalonde!!!!! this isnt just beyond canon either. try and count how many times she did some suicide mission shit in og homestuck. and how non chalant she was about every single one. this character trait stuck around, and its especially clear in the 10/8 update.

and who does she reference, saying that he made the right choice to kill himself?

bam. this miserable motherfucker wants Out.

notice how she doesnt say "kill himself". she says LEAVE. as if she knows ult dirk is in the other timeline, alive and well. as if she knows that she could have done that too. made the right choice. the canon choice.

but what does that mean, in terms of Gloves are Canon? well, if you read the gloves are canon theory part 2, it states how at the beginning of candy, rose's ult self visions completely went away supposedly, but by the time HSBC picked up last year, theyre back...and worse?

how? its only been a few days, in universe.

was she lying about them being gone? is it the influence of having the Light, the Narrative, the Eyes of the Reader back on her now that the comic is going again? was she ulted the whole time just like dirk and we dont know it?

to the reader, the rosemary breakup in both timelines was a destruction of rose's character. but to rose.....its what she thinks kanaya deserves. rose thinks kanaya deserves a life without her. rose thinks shes BETTER OFF without her. and maybe deep down she thinks the whole timeline, and the whole universe, is better off without her too.

just like ult dirk.

i have a lot of thoughts on the other two parts of the update, but i wanted to focus on the concept of ult rose with this post because. god. idk her whole section was so potent and not only confirmed my theory, but just made me feel sick!! /pos

[nicxl333]

I've been seeing people going on about this nanami and tiana thing and I'm honestly so mad at nanami (I'm a jealous nanami stan please bear with me) I literally felt physical pain in my chest, can you please write something like reader sees this nanami and tiana thing and gets like really upset, the rest is up to you, but I want comfort.

(this is a very weird request. Apologies 😔)

thanks for the req anon!

bro…these tiktoks are actually killing me! (sukuna x cinderella is absolutely canon btw) of course though, it’s a weird scenario but i LIVE for things like these 💀

also i legit started writing this then i fell asleep and my phone DIED. so in other words i had to rewrite this shit from scratch again lol.

NANAMI X JEALOUS!READER

tags: fluff, married couple, slight angst, implied sex

hubby!nanami who returns home from work as the ceo of his famous, illustrious tech company

hubb!nanami who sees you on the couch, scowl present as you scroll on your phone, too immersed to notice your husband’s return

hubby!nanami who announces his arrival, walking over to hug and kiss you, confusion evident once you pull away from him with no explanation

hubby!nanami who voices his concerns, wondering what he could’ve done, then diverting his attention to your phone screen which has been turned towards him, seeing a ship video of him and princess tiana

“surely you’re not being serious right y/n?”

“deadly.”

nanami pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering how he should approach this peculiar situation. as famous as he may have been, he never would’ve anticipated social media spinning events such as these.

“so, let me get this straight. you’re mad, because i am trending, not of my own volition of course, with a fictional character that i have been shipped with?”

“precisely.”

“did i mention she is fictional?”

“fictional or not, i shouldn’t have to see my husband with other women in that lighting. that just means i have competition with the fictional world as well as the non fictional. as if i don’t see enough women pining after you day to day.”

“y/n, my love, how is a story character, who is married might i add, supposed to compete with my very much real and genuine wife?”

“so infidelity doesn’t exist now?”

he watches you as you slung one leg over the other, crossing your arms in slight frustration. even in your angered state you still look just as beautiful as the first time he met you, which is why he can never be mad at you, not for long anyways.

he loosened his tie slightly, sitting on the couch next to you and patted his lap, beckoning you to come sit. once you followed, he placed both hands on the crease of your hips, rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs. you allowed your head to rest against his shoulder, leaning into his touch.

“even if i could, which i can’t because she’s…well- fictional, she could never have anything on you. you complete me y/n, make me whole in areas i didn’t acknowledge were empty. there’s no person better suited for me, fictional or not.”

tears were starting to well in your eyes. yes, you did know you were being irrational, but hearing your husband profess his love for you time and time again just reminded you of the reason you married him.

you hugged him tight, kissing the crook of his neck.

“i love you, kento.”

he suddenly flipped you over so your back now lay on the couch. he hovered over you and looked you directly into your eyes, showing his seriousness.

“i’m going to show you just how much i love you. i won’t stop until you get the idea.”

[lokh]

#maybe laios has to have his own awakening <-- I'd be very much interested in hearing what that might look like to you 👀 Shuro pining and stressing over it is the easiest thing to imagine, but I struggle a bit with imagining what Laios' perspective on romance is and his romantic interest in general

OK SO....... realistically i think his view on romance in canon is probably closer to how even though we know his passion is monsters we KNOW he wants to eat monsters So Fucking bad...... his favorite food is still cheesecake. yknow?????? but it's not his Passion.... he mentions having a fiance (somewhat as a point of pride iirc?) but having to break it off when he left his hometown. if he Does experience romantic/sexual attraction then it's kind of secondary to everything else going on with him (see also the succubus thing)... ive always kind of assumed that for him, at the very least before ditching town, that getting married was just a thing you did (were supposed to do) and while he wasn't opposed to it, maybe even interested in it, clearly he doesn't seem to care enough to seek it out afterwards. AS an aroace person i want to believe he's on the aroace spectrum adfvccvvbhb..... aro spec non ace laios is interesting too though.....

BASICALLY it's not a huge concern of his BUT. the question of marriage and succession WILL come up post canon. unfortunately he might not be able to take such a lackadaisical attitude about Who he gets with now that he's such a big deal.... but then again, he's got that rebellious streak and seems pretty good at making situations work in his favor. like who's Really gonna be able to stop him if he decides he wants to marry some guy from the eastern archipelago......

I think he might need an awakening in the sense that taking the view that he's kind of assumed that marriage is just a thing that'll happen to him at some point, he's probably never considered getting with a guy. it's just never crossed his mind. but we know he's open minded and willing to take on-board new ideas...... its less a huge awakening than an Oh! i see i get it moment wjnshdhxbx. actually i can imagine the idea being floated to him and he kinda goes hmmmmmm i don't really get it (for me) but ok i guess. then someone going (perhaps out of pity for an already pining shuro) ok but now imagine you and shuro being that close and him going AH! now I get it.

we know that laios cares deeply about the people close to him but it's hard for us to imagine him romantically and that's probably true for the people around him also tbh. i think no matter how you spin it (that he's aroace but decides to have a relationship anyway, or that he does experience any attraction) that perception will always hold and there might be the concern of does he Really get it though irt a relationship (in this case laishuro). I also think that if he does decide on a relationship with someone he cares about that he WILL care deeply he just might not show it in like. any overtly romantic way...

i will say that part of that perception of him being incapable of romance and sexual attraction, im concerned is because of him also being well. pretty autistic lmao. which is obviously not fair. but romance has never been a huge focal point in dungeon meshi much the same way it isn't really for laios, but it's still there nonetheless....

it's possible also that he has a bigger interest in romance and sex than is apparent but because of how Social it is that he simply won't pursue it. he's aware of his lack of social ability and is pretty insular with his social group (iirc this is kabrus perception of him?) so I dont think it's unreasonable to believe he might have decided it wasn't worth the effort to seek it out. but with someone who's Already a friend and you've already made all the possible social gaffes with and they haven't left despite that..........

[liaa--qb]

This might sound overly dramatic, but I'm so sad and disappointed right now because of all those horrible leaks. I know they still might be false, but honestly I believe that save for some details, they are mostly true. There are few things that sadden me the most :

1. Helaemond not being canon. I know that this ship has been controversial, especially among TG, but it really had a lot of potential and was one of my favourite (still is). And I don't care what antis say, there were a lot of hints and undertones in s1 about helaemond, more than for Alicole and look, Alicole apparently becomes canon in the worst possible way. Which brings me to the second point -

2) Alicole being canon. Don't get me wrong. I like this pairing, but it would be much better and more in character if they never acted on their feelings. Not to mention that two sex scenes in ep 1 (if the leak is true) will seem too much and out of nowhere. And to include it in B&C scene with helaena walking in on them having sex right after Jaehaerys is brutally murdered is an atrocious writing decision. F*ck you Condal and whoever is responsible for this.

3) B&C made into a joke. According to the leaks, Helaena won't be given a choice, there will be some upsetting details about getting naked the children and so on..and to have her walk in on her mom having sex with a member of a kingsguard.. Again, f*ck you Condal.

4) Aemond and the brothel madame. Why would he go to the same woman who SAed him when he was 13? And he obviously felt uncomfortable around her in ep 9. And to make him cry while naked in fetal position...I also read on reddit that they will include a mommy kink with breast sucking and whatnot... but this seems way too much and is probably someone's shitty headcanon. At least I hope it is, because if true I'll vomit.

And this is only the first episode. Idk, if this turns out to be true, I'll probably stop watching and it sucks since I really like this universe and was excited about s2. Two years of waiting and for what.. Not only the shortened season but also all this garbage. We'll see in few days, I guess, but I'm not hopeful. Anyway, thanks for reading my rant. I would love to hear your opinion on this.

Ya the way heard about leaks is sooo😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭☠️ wtf they have done 😬☠️☠️

IT'S MY ANSWER FOR ALL QUES LIKE THIS FILLED IN MY INBOX CZ I GOT SAME QUES FOUR TIMES in different ways😅, so I am answering for them all but it's but long

See it's a kind suggestion from me very sweetly that it's better if you are not expecting something high from makers n watching it without any expectations because if we are hating just because they did some ships wrong then acc to that alot of changes were already done since s1, like Rhaenicent , Larys alot of things but we never had problems.

Listen I am kinda sad also but you know what..... be happy because you know Ewan and Phia are shipping helaemond🥰. They acknowledging it , loving it and adding some own elements to this ship is really amazing of them moreover just for a fan service.

Like "do it for helaemond" 😭 they are so adorable. See I knew very well that it's not gonna happen, I had a very less surity and that's how exactly it turned out.

But you know what not a single ship is going to have any good romantic future 😂 either all of them even Daemyra main centre couple is not being done well by the makers. What can you expect for others ?

because I knew helaemond had lit ceslu potential but it has to be done correctly and Ik hotd makers would ruin it or make it bad even if it was shown canon look at Alicole now. So being non canon yet addressed by makers and actors who specially said they would act on it for fan service is a kind of little serve.

To me it's like I won ( but at what cost 😭😅) but also winning well wasn't there on cards ever. Every ship is going to be destroyed by makers. see what they did with Helaegon(ik it wasn't any good already) but like I am crying on leaks ( I thought atleast this s2 helaegon would be done but better for Aegon's sake but no😭)

All ships barely are going to have small amount of time without any romantic bullshit, just in one or two scene then seperating apart n dying 😂☠️ as I said earlier so to me Ewan phia trying their own things for helaemond in background in genuinely a small cake😂. ( Atleast we have some scenes with them, idk if there would be😑😬 not expecting much)

One thing I really hate that you know they gave Juan and Cesare arcs to Aegon n Aemond making their pair up way intresting to watch. I really wish that Helaena was given the same authority or bit of freedom of exploring herself like Alicent. Sorry if someone as strictly religious like Alicent can do it then it was way easy for Heleana. And whole Borgias recreate would have been so interesting to watch.

I wish I could see Helaena scolding, shouting at Aemond for starting all this shit n hating Aegon for being a useless father after b&c. There should be a sense of of cheating or fraud when she sees her mother who claims to be a religious person but doing everything against it while she had to suffer her whole life with bad marriage.

Not seeing her any active is what which annoys me so much.

they gave her dreamer arc for Nothing just being ignored by her important family members.Phia should be awarded for her acting n carrying heleana despite of their dirty writing.

The thing is Helaemond would have been a shock and surprise more fitting for audience, making Helaena active with this part instead of doing Alicent dirty an don't even ask how I am feeling about Helaena catching Alicent and Cole . It was sooo😭🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️😑

And most ironically funny thing is that same thing happened with Borgias, Cesare and lucrezia were not canon initially and never meant for canon, both actors said we will just play into into it but when I rumours started later runners had no choice to make it canon for later season 😂

So never loose hope or stop loving or hyping any of your ship or helaemond I would say because Ryan can pull any stunt any time. The way he is going I don't think he gives much f about book canon, he is doing anything he wants😂😂

So who knows... if he ever liked Helaemond he can pull it anytime 😂(I m not kidding) bcz Alicole fucking specially between b&c since s1 is so ooc I could not even describe. I am not even hardcore FNB fan but they quite messed up Alicole angst and guilt arc which could have been so beautiful. It's so inconsistent with their parts from S1 like what ?🤦🏻‍♀️

And I hate that blood & cheese should have been how Helaena is suffering instead I am afraid whole light will be thrown on Criston/Alicent fucking reveal.

no couple is gonna have any beautiful story so it's kind of better if they are just playing with helaemond behind back.

Atleast there is so much for Helaemond content and on other hand my other ship Rhaemond is literally carried by lil warriors Leo and Eva 😭 on their shoulder with that one scene for all seasons. I never gonna see them interact again😿.

And yes I also hate how Aemond is sent to back his abuser. Like they could have used any other female if they have to show his milf attraction or some kind of guilt kink something but not his groomer. It sucks he is finding comfort in her arms. Like these show runners forgot how all these characters were exactly in season1 bc such changes r so😭

Overall I would say don't leave the show just in terms for ships to be endgame as not a single ship is going to have any happy ending or any romantic drive in HOTD main focus will be on Rhaenyra, Alicent getting depressed and Daemon will be haunted 😭 but still it's your choice in the end😅 I am no one to say anything.

Now I am mainly watching for Aegon & Aemond n how other new entries like Alys, Alyn, Cregan or Addam are gonna introduced ( well who knows if Daeron is also gets his Cameo in the end )

if I am being honest just like the way I started this show after reading book without having any great expectations. It works better that way and may be for Ewanphia Crumbs for few secs if they don't cut their scenes of which I have very much doubt.

( while how I wanna see Ewan phia/Phiwan crumbs on screens in delulu mind😭😭 :

Like this is how I wanted Helaena to jump n beat the shit out of Aemond after b&c n that's how it should be bc that's his brother not any stranger, she had full right to , but there... it's complete opposite :

[decadeduo]

Helloooo welcome, call me Decade or Impostor or just about anything you want! This blog is for a Ask Goldie Anything au I've been working on ever since I found the now discontinued comic back in 2019!

I have ADHD and multiple other projects, so if I'm quiet for a bit feel free to poke me because I probably just forgot to update the blog. I also have a tendency to over-explain, so if you have trouble with reading long blocks of text then the colored text is there to highlight the important stuff! I believe you can only read the colored text and still understand the post, if I did it correctly. I'm sorry for people that struggle to read with colored text, but uh, I'm sure this paragraph alone shows how much I yap vs how much information is useful - it's kinda necessary. Alt descriptions of images are also available for all of the important posts, usually with some side notes about making said drawing or giving some context.

dms and asks are always open! This au only relies on asks about 30% of the time, but I'll always answer asks 100% of time (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) that number will change as we get further into the story, mostly the introductory act and the last act is gonna need asks, as well as asks in-between each act to pass in universe time :]

In order to hold myself accountable and actually keep. Working on this thing, as well as to let everyone know I'm not dead, where am I currently in making this au?

Plot: it's been complete for 2 or 3 years and atp im making DLC for it whenever im bored, right now I'm aiming to complete the story with 4 - 6 Acts (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠)

Timeline of said plot: it's roughly laid out, and I'm currently working on fixing any plot holes [since originally this au was more like 14-17 segmented scenarios I've stitched together]

The actual comic: I'm currently working on the first comic pages! I'm also working on the cover art for each act, and after the first page is posted I'll work on asks (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

More info below!

What is this au about you may ask, so far I've said nothing about it you say? basically I looked at aga, and then looked at actual FNaF lore with the crying child and Cassidy possessing golden Freddy and decided the more ghosts the merrier. When Evan died, he started possessing Goldie, and gave him the ability to float, teleport, etc. Goldie can also exit the suit and be a ghost at any time, but he tends to stay inside unless he needs to be alone or do something that Evan can't.

If you send me any asks that are non-canon or spoilery, I'll just redirect you to my main account @impostorsshow and answer it there anyway. No asks will go unanswered [like said dlc I mentioned (⁠?⁠・⁠・⁠)⁠σ I might post about said non-canon stuff unprompted since I like my phasmophobia and shadow Bonnie au alot] Also I just like yapping so if you go to #fnaf ranch dip on my main account, you can find some old posts about this au (⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)

Every time I edit this post I try to trim it down and make it less wordy and fail horribly. It'll get better one day. Maybe. Anyway here's some extra stuff <3

Bonnie: why does he always do weird stuff....