#and went to languages school and my teacher there made me fall in love w this language

[killjpeg-reblogs]

Serious post rn can y'all rb/reply to this and tell me how many languages you know and if you know more than one what made you learn it? If you don't know other languages which would you like to and why?

[lottiebagleywritesobx]

Love Language

At the time they'd made it the language had felt like no one would ever be able to understand it.

They were only 9 and JJ had been granted permission to stay at her house, her parents used to be around a lot, although they weren't anymore, and they'd always welcomed her blonde best friend leading to his near constant presence at their home.

It was late for two kids, maybe 10 pm, and they'd been wrapped in blankets in her box sized room that felt so much bigger when they were young.

They always got each other in a way no one else understood for reasons way more complex than a secret language they would use to write each other messages, but at 9, all they needed to know was that the language was another thing that tied them together.

It was simple: to spell a word you combine the first letters of the other words.

So to write Hello  you would write Hungry Elephants Love Lollipops Okay

It had stuck a lot at first, they used it everyday and it drove Pope and John B insane, but as they got older it died out.

It was used a few times at 12 when they had an annoying teacher who made students read notes out if they were caught passing them, to everyone else it sounded like gibberish.

It was used once at 15, the world help spelled out when an older Kook boy wouldn't leave her alone and she knew he was reading her phone screen over her shoulder, not wanting to trigger him.

Now, at 17, she had laughed out loud when she'd unfolded the note tucked into her locker.

In JJ's scrawl that only she could read with ease.

 Ukraine

Rollercoaster

Penguin Ranch Eyelash Tractor Tangerine Yoghurt

You are pretty. She blushed a little, looking around for any sign of the familiar blonde boy but he was nowhere to be seen, she tucked the note into her bag, hating the way he made her heart race, before shoving the books she didn't need over the weekend into her locker and walking down the corridor and out of the front doors.

When she arrived at the twinkie her friends were already there "Took your time," John B smirks from his open window, occupying the front seat

"She was probably busy flirting with Mack," Sarah teases from the passenger side

"For the last time Sarah, he just needed tutoring in bio,"

"You are shit at bio," Sarah smirks even wider

"Better than you sweetheart," The girl grins, climbing into the back and diving out of Sarah's reach as she moves to try and flick her. Both girls laughing loudly

"I'll get the door then," Pope chides

"Thanks P, i can't get too close  or Sarah will attack me," She grins, Pope rolls his eyes but sends her a grin as he leans forwards to pull the door to the twinkie closed.

She moves through the seats to her usual space, she always sat next to JJ, no matter what. They could be drinking at the chateau, relaxing at the beach, adventuring on the boat. No matter what they were next to each other. It wasn't uncommon when one of them was feeling tired, or clingy, or touch starved for her to end up in his lap, his arms wrapped around her stomach and his chin on her shoulder.

She leans up pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, it wasn't uncommon in their friendship, often used as a greeting, a thanks or even just out of the blue, and so the other's don't think anything of it even though JJ feels himself melting into a puddle. What is a little different though is the way she grabs his hand giving it a tight squeeze before pulling her own away and settling down in her seat as John B starts up the van. He knows what it is. It's a silent thanks for the note, not wanting to say anything in front of their friends but it was a sign she got it and she was grateful for it.

He wraps his arm around her shoulder, his touch gentle but Pope gives him a knowing look, the touch is supposed to claim her. She either doesn't notice or  doesn't seem to mind though, instead leaning into his now open side as she chats happily with Kie.

**

It's monday morning and JJ is in first period history. He fucking hates history, yet, it had become his favourite subject simply because it was the only one all 6 pogues shared. He opens his school bag with sigh, placing the textbook on his desk and starting to fish around the bottom of the bag for a loose pen.

Pope turns around from the seat in front of him, placing a pen on his desk with a knowing smile. JJ drops his bag to the floor, opening the text book only for a note to fall out.

Her neat writing fills the page and the smile on his face is immediate.

Umbrella

Rocket

Happy Ant Neck Drop Surf Olive Mars Egg

JJ tries to ignore the feeling of a red hot blush creeping up his neck as he turns to look at the next desk along, she's already looking at him with a smirk shooting him a week before turning to face the front, god if JJ can't feel himself falling.

**

It continues for weeks.

Tucked into the wind screen wiper of her old shitty truck.

Taped to the sandwiches she would bring him to lunch.

On her pillow when she went to bed one night.

Stuffed into the pocket of the hoodie she borrowed.

Her school bag.

The bathroom mirror at the chateau.

They both started to home a large collection of notes. Her's placed neatly in a drawer in her bedroom. His tucked in a box under the floor board that lifts up in the room he claims as his at the chateau.

**

"What you writing?" John B questions as he steps onto the porch

"Just a note for y/n,"

"You guys have been passing a lot of secret notes recently," John B comments, JJ shrugs placing the pen down "It's sweet,"

"What d'ya mean by that?" JJ questions, John raises his eyebrows giving JJ a knowing look before having a realisation.

"You still haven't told her you're head over heels in love with her?"

"No," JJ admits, he was way past his days of fighting back when his friends accused him of being in love with her. "I don't know how to. You know me, I never say things right and I just- I really don't want to fuck this up. Only got one shot at it,"

"So write it," John B shrugs like it's obvious

"I can't,"

"You can,"

"What if she doesn't feel the same?"

"JJ, you're the most annoying person I know and she puts up with you all the time and has done since you were 2 . She feels the same,"

**

She's only wearing a bikini and a tshirt that belongs to JJ when she exits her house on Saturday morning. Her plans to meet at the Chateau go surfing with Kie already made, she grabs her board and at first she doesn't even notice it, attached to the cool box full of water and fruit she'd loaded up the night before is a note.

Ice

Art Magic

Igloo Note

London Orange Venus Elephant

Wine Ill Tiger Hungry

Yam One Under

It takes less than a minute for her to decipher the note, abandoning her surf board and the cooler in favour of sprinting to the Cheateau.

JJ is seemingly waiting for her when she arrives, he's pacing in front of the house, going still the second he sees her.

"Are you kidding?" She questions, he's stares, eyes wide not quite able to process why she looks so hopeful. "Because JJ, if this is some fucked up joke I will literally never speak to you again,"

"It's not a joke," He assures

"It's not?" She questions, it's het turn to still, having expected to arrive for him to laugh and ruffle her hair like he was her brother.

"No. I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since we were 12 and you stole my cap and started wearing it everyday,"

"We were 14 and you snuck into my room because my parents were fighting and you read harry potter to me cause you knew my parents used to," She states

He nods, now it was all out there in the open neither of them quite knew what to do.

"For fucks sake kiss already!" Pope shouts, they turn seeing all the pogues watching them from the porch.

JJ looks at her, an unspoken question in his eyes. "Just promise me if this all goes tits up we will be friends, cause I can't loose you maybank,"

He holds his pinky out, smiling as she loops her with his and squeezes slightly. He pulls her into his chest with their pinkies. Lips crashing onto hers, spare holding her closer to him by the small of her back. Her empty hand moving to play with the blonde curls she's wanted to run her fingers through a thousand times. Their pinkies stay linked by their side, his thumb stroking at her hands lightly.

Yeah, she'd be keeping the note he left in there little love language.

[nightowlfandom]

Bully! Park Jimin- I’m Your Devil (DIRRRRTTYY)

So...I got a new computer and I have no clue how to screenshot on it as of now...and tbh I don’t feel like figuring out how. SO I’m gonna be experimenting with some layouts but until then you just have these annoying announcements.

Anyways, ANON ASKS  🧑🏿‍🎤  🧑🏿‍🎤  🧑🏿‍🎤 (you know who you are wink wink)

may I request a really aggressive schoolbully!jimin / sadistic!jimin smut inspired by the songs daddy issues, into it, and the hills :) 

Y’all some masochists but I ain’t mad.

Just know ya worth and if anyone treats you like this in real life, punch them in the balls. That being said, This is also LOOOONG. I didn’t plan for it to be but yeah. ALSO I GOT YOUR OTHER ASK SO I GOT CHU. I’m not sure if this is good but I hope I did you justice.

Reader who isn’t a virgin, really mean bully man, more foreplay than actual smut lol sorry, touch of diet-angst

Leggo.

...

“Okay class, what do you think the author was trying to say when she was describing her relationship with Damien?”

You sat at your desk, chin propped up in your hand as you gazed off longingly into space. This was one of the rare times you decided to pay attention because your class was reading your favorite book. “The Young Devil” (Completely made up lol). 

“She’s obviously a broken woman if she thinks Damien is ever gonna change his ways. She’s a stiff.” a comment made you practically fall forward. You turned your head to find the culprit of who said such a thing about your favorite character. “Anyways, she’s too safe. She couldn’t handle his issues.”

“Well maybe if Damien made an effort to open himself up, Belle wouldn’t have to pry so hard.” another girl rolled her eyes. “Men always think women can’t handle what they throw when in reality we take the heat for your dumb asses.”

“Interesting conversation. Y/N, what do you think?” the teacher took note that you were paying more attention and turned her sights on you. “What do you think about the dynamic between Damien and Belle?”

You cursed yourself for looking too interested. You hated speaking. “I...Um.” you opened your mouth and closed it again, unsure of what to say. “I think Damien’s refusal to allow Belle to see the other side of him not only puts their mental connection at risk, but physical as well.” you replied. 

“What do you mean physical?” she egged you on to elaborate. “As in sex?”

“W-well, yes and no.” you shrugged. “Belle prides herself on building connection through touch. She can’t have sex with Damien because she doesn’t feel loved by him. To him sex is just a thing you do. He gets his pleasure from bullying her, that’s his high.” you explained. “She claims she doesn’t care but if she didn’t, she wouldn’t spend her time wishing he was different...or something.” you played with your hands, staring down at your fingers.

The teacher stared at you before a smile broke out on her face. “Excellent analysis, Y/N!” she clapped her hands together. You returned the smile with the tiny bit of confidence that built up inside you. “Yes, Jimin did you have something you wanted to add?”

You turned your head to find the always mouthy Park Jimin lazily raising his hand. “She likes being bullied by him.” he said as if it was a matter of fact. 

“Excuse you?” you couldn’t help but speak out. Suddenly the entire class was quiet. They had never heard you speak so abruptly before. “What the hell do you mean she likes it.”

“She wouldn’t put up with it if she didn’t like it.” he raised an eyebrow. “She could just tell him to leave her alone, get lost or something.”

“How in the hell would Belle enjoy someone like Damien embarrassing her every minute he gets. Are we reading the same book?” you sat up straight crossing your arms. 

“Now this is getting interesting.” the teacher mumbled.

“You can tell by her actions. The rush of her blood when she blushes, the way she stammers over her words, the way she listens to his every word...much like you are right now, princess.” he winked. His smug grin alone made your blood boil.

“Oh and I suppose his possessive ways are warranted in your eyes too aren’t they.” you scoffed.

“Maybe, I mean she even says herself she feels cared about.” he shrugged.

“Because Damien is a manipulative dickhead!” you snapped. “He obviously wants her around because she’s the only girl who gives a shit about his life and he’d feel lost without her.” you snarled. “Then again I would expect this point of view from a man who changes bitches like he changes his underwear.” (A/N we don’t hate women here).

“Language Miss. L/N.” the teacher spoke. You rolled your eyes, glaring at Jimin one last time before facing forward. The whole class was silent.

“Nice one Y/N” a girl on your opposite side nudges you.

“Not bad for a quiet girl.” a boy piped up.

...

As classes were let out for the day you wordlessly avoided the looks you got from your other classmates. You walked down the halls, holding your books tightly to your chest. 

“Oi, Hey L/N!” 

You weren’t sure if the sound of Jimin’s voice made you wanna speed up or slow down. It didn’t matter because he went as far as to run and stop right in front of you. 

“Um..What?” you looked up at him.

“Oh, not excited to see me?” he scoffed with a sadistic smile. You didn’t know what he was planning but you didn’t like it. “Way to try and debate me in class today, who knew you had a mouth on you.”

“I was just answering the teachers question..I don’t want any trouble..” you clutched your books even tighter. Before he could reply a girl ran up, practically attaching herself to him. 

“JIMMY YOU HAVE DANCE PRACTICE!” she practically screeched. “Why are you talking to her?”

“Oh...Y/N here was-” he paused. “Just confessing her undying love for me!”

“What! No I wasn’t!” you tried to deny, but it was too late. Everyone who was around heard him. “I don’t have a crush on you!” You felt your face heart up.

“Oh Y/N, You don’t have to hide it! Why else would you speak to me passionately in class today.” his sick grin never left his face. You could tell this was his revenge for embarrassing him in class. “You were telling me all about how you couldn’t sleep another night without telling me. How you want me in more ways than one.”

He spoke loud enough so others could hear.

“That’s not true!” you snapped. You were trembling. Humiliation filled your body and was overflowing, much like the tears of embarrassment you couldn’t fight anymore. “I’m not in love with you.”

“Oh Y/N, you don’t have to hide it anymore. I know everything. The love letters, the staring-”

“What?!”

But it was too late, people were already giggling and staring at you with pity. You took one last look at Jimin, who was already walking away, gleefully accepting the high fives from the pigs who dared to say ‘Nice score.’

“Are you alright, Y/N?’ a girl came up to you, putting her hand on your shoulder. “Should we go to the headmaster?” 

You didn’t answer, you just ran. You ran out the school, unknowingly into the pouring rain. It seemed the sky matched your mood today. You let out all the tears, not caring who saw or who looked at you as if you had lost your mind. Your house was far, but you didn’t care about that either. In that moment you felt as helpless as the character you loved dearly, Belle. 

...

You ignored everyone the next day, even your small group of lunch buddies. You worked alone, you sat alone at lunch, and by the time free period had rolled around, you had opted to hide. However, just as you prepared yourself to leave, who else but Jimin to stopped you in the middle of the halls. 

“Well if it isn’t my little admirer!” Jimin spoke loud enough to capture the attention of those around you. He ‘accidentally’ slapped your books out of your hands. “Oh, I’m sorry Y/N...Go ahead, pick those up.”

Without another word you knelt down, only to have him kick one of your books to the side. “What’s this! A diary!” 

A brown and black leather bound hardcover book sat at his feet. You instantly scrambled to get it, but he had managed to get his hands on it. “Isn’t this interesting!” 

“Jimin please don’t-!” you stood up, forgetting about your textbooks.

“Dear friend,-” he cleared his throat dramatically as he flipped through the pages of your diary.

Dear journal,

My life is nothing like stories I read about all the time. Each and every night I’d wish for my handsome devil to come. Come and take me away from here, away from the hate, away from the commotion, away from Park fucking Jimin. I don’t know what I’ve done to make him hate me the way he does. I just wish he’d be nice to me...just once. But that is one wish I know won’t come true. He’s just a sadistic asshole who bullies me because he knows I won’t say a word.

So why do i-

You snatched the book out of his hands before he could read any more, this time you were seething with rage. “If you EVER touch my property again I will- I’ll-”

“You’ll do what princess?” he smiled cheekily. “You won’t do a thing to me and we both know it...you’re just like that Belle chick. That handsome devil of yours is just a fever dream, get over it-.”

“Maybe, but I’d rather live in a dream than talk to Satan himself.” you snapped. “You’re just the devil.” you whimpered. “Why do I even put up with you?” you sighed. Jimin suddenly stepped forward. You mentally prepared yourself for the worst.

You felt his lips touch the side of your mouth, had you moved just a bit more, he would have been on your lips. “Because you love me.”

....

“For this project, I will be assigning you partners

Oh shit...please no. God, no. Dear lord if anyone can hear-

“Alex and Jackson. Lisa and Mark, Y/N and Jimin-”

“Fuck.” you mouthed. You dared looked next to you. Jimin was playfully leaning his cheek against the palm of his hand. He winked at you, taking his bottom lip between his teeth. 

“You will be doing book reports on The Young Devil. You choose the topic, this is due in two weeks. I recommend you get together outside of school.”

As class let out, Jimin followed you. “Sooo, partner! When am I coming over?”

“When pigs fly.” you answered sourly.

“Saturday at 7:00 you said? I’ll be there!” he threw an arm around your waist. “See you there, babe.”

“You don’t even know my address!” you called after him as he walked off. That probably wasn’t the best idea because everyone was staring at you again. “NO! BECAUSE WE HAVE A PROJECT....Nevermind.” you groaned. 

... (Saturday 7:30 PM)

“You’re late.” you seethed as you pulled open the door. Jimin sauntered in and you slammed the door.

Soon it was silent between you two. Before he could open his mouth, you left him standing there to bolt up the stairs. Jimin, being himself followed you. To be honest, you were already starting without him.

“Do you live alone?” he asked, noticing how empty your home was.

“I do.” you replied curtly. “My parents travel around a lot, so I never see them.” you shrugged. “They help me out though.”

“So mommy and daddy take care of everything-”

“You don’t know me.” you cut him off. You sat down at your desk and pulled up your notes, proceeding to work. “They help me because they care...unlike some people.” you scoffed.  “Shut up so I can concentrate.”

“I thought this was a partner thing.” you heard your bed creak. “I think we should put out minds...maybe bodies together and think of a concept.”

“I already have one.” you cut him off.

“Enlighten me.”

“If Damien hadn’t changed by the end of the book, would Belle still be with him.” you mused aloud.

“Probably.”

“....” you didn’t reply, because you didn’t want to admit he was right. Probably the only time you’d ever agree with him on anything. 

“What? Still mad at me for reading your little diary?” he asked. Once again, you ignored him. Suddenly, your chair was turned around abruptly and you were now staring at a red faced Jimin. “I don’t like being ignored, doll.”

He was so close, your noses were practically touching. You froze up, afraid to move. 

“Why are you so mean?” you found yourself asking. “What did I ever do to you?”

“Other than refuse to drop that good girl act of yours? We’re a dysfunctional two peas in a pod. I’m an asshole and you’re too much of a stiff to stop me.”

“Act?” you looked confused. “I don’t have an act.” you attempted to defend yourself. 

“Hm...that face you make is kind of hot.” he smirked. He slid his fingertips under your chin. Your vision went blurry, unable to process everything. You absent-mindedly began playing with the hem of your sweater.

(SMUT AHEAD, PROCEED WITH CAUTION)

“What is your deal!?” you found yourself getting angry as you stood up. Jimin stepped back looking startled. “You’re messing with my fucking head and I’ve had enough! Jimin what did I ever do to you?” you felt it again. Humiliation. “I’m not asking you to be my friend but the least you could do is be nice to me!”

“I don’t do nice, sweetheart. Like you said, I’m the devil.” he walked up to you. “Your blush is like a drug to me.” he laughed. “It’s cute.” he rested his hands on either side of your face. “Fuck, I kinda wanna kiss you right now. Do you wanna kiss me?”

YES!

“Yes, I mean no! I mean yes- I mean maybe, I mean fuck!”

Not even a second later, Jimin’s lips were over yours. Despite his bullying, his kiss was gentle. You practically melted. He protectively wrapped an arm around your waist. Your thoughts on the project were long gone. Jimin couldn’t figure out why he felt so protective of you all of a sudden, but thoughts ran through his head. Thoughts that if anyone else kissed you, touched, you even looked your way...he’d go ballistic.

And fuck, you were a great kisser. He held the back of your head with his free hand, guiding you into his touch, which you followed perfectly. His tongue slid through the gap in your mouth, yearning to taste you more. You felt lightheaded as if your heart was about to give out. He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours.

“Maybe I’m so cruel because I don’t know how to act around you.” he whispered. “Maybe I’m trying to be the devil you want so bad.” you could see a flash of sadness in his eyes, which was quickly replaced with lust. “I wanna be your devil, Y/N...”

He kissed you again, this time his warm hands slithered under your clothes. You were by no means a virgin, but the way you felt made you feel shy and exposed. Jimin walked you back towards your bed and practically threw you on the plush surface while he rid himself of his shirt. Your bodies practically melted together, bodies meeting in a sweaty mass of limbs that explored one another. 

Be fumbled with your pants, almost tearing them off you. He gave you a sadistic smile before ghosting his lips over both your thighs. Your legs shook, trying to keep them steady. 

“Have you ever...done anything with anyone?” he asked.

“Once, but nothing special.” you admitted. “It was straight to the point.” you shrugged.

“Then I guess I have nothing to compete against.” he bit his lips. “You smell so good here.” he shuddered. “I wanna-”

He yanked down your panties next. His lips ghosted over your slit, pressing feather light kisses against you. 

You held your breath, unable to register what was going on. His fingers met your clit, sliding his fingers through your slickness. Before you could say another word, Jimin licked a stripe up your slit. You bucked your hips, only to be held down. He sucked harshly at your clit before playing with your little bud with his tongue. 

“F-fuh-” you couldn’t even muster up the words as Jimin played with you. 

“Fuck Y/N.” he groaned. You felt his fingers slid inside of you, coating his fingers in your water. “I don’t know what’s hotter, the look on your face or the way your-”

“D-don’t say it!” you cut him off. “I’m warning you!”

“What?” you could just see she shit-eating grin on his face. “You mean pussy? The way this pussy takes my fingers so well?” (Now from the top, make it drop- I’ll shut up)

He abruptly removed his fingers which made your back arch and lurch upwards. You sat up on his elbows only to witness Jimin rid himself on his pants and boxers. Your eyes widened when you saw his hardness. You couldn’t look away. 

“See something you like?” his voice made you snap out of it. He bit his lip with a grin. He grabbed your legs and aligned himself with you, teasing the hell out of your entrance, just barely touching you with his length. “Am I your devil, Y/N?”

“God, yes.” you couldn’t fight it anymore. 

Slowly, he slid in, groaning at the feel of you around his dick. “Shit Y/N...How the hell am I gonna move when you’re so t-tight. I won’t last 10 seconds.” he whimpered. He slowly thrust again, your juices creating a deep echo in the room. “Hah...Ungh...f-fu” he planted his hands on the bed, one either side of your head. “Y/N...You don’t know what you do to me.”

“J-jimin.” you mirrored his voice, wrapping your arms around his neck. “P-please?”

That was all the motivation he needed to start moving. 

Your moans and yells echoes through the room, the clapping sound of flesh hitting flesh bounced off the walls. Sweat kept your bodies practically glues together. His fingers moved everywhere. Grabbing your sweater that for some reason was still on, grabbing your legs to pull you back into him. Your face to move your hair out of the way so he could witness the euphoria written shamelessly on your face. His jaw went slack and he felt himself getting to that part, and he could tell you were close too.

You were first, practically convulsing under him, screams of his name escaping your lungs.

“ARGH, FUCK!” He followed suit and immediately removed himself from you, only to spray himself...all over your sweater and legs. He felt forward, practically shaking against you. He messily kissed you, not bothering to think about neatness as his tongue invaded your mouth for the umpteenth time.

“Mind if I crash here tonight?” he laughed as he plopped next to you. 

“Sure.” you breathlessly replied. “Project can wait till tomorrow.”

As you drifted off to sleep, Jimin shimmied out of bed and walked over to the open window. He felt the breeze on his skin and closed his eyes. “Please.” He whispered. “I want to treat her well...don’t let me fuck it up.” He silently wished before joining you in bed again, protectively wrapping his arms around you. “I’ll do anything for you, Y/N...I’m your devil....”

...

Cheesy ending I know but what did ya think?! 

[xpeachesncream]

acquainted | ten

> series masterlist | series playlist <

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: jungkook x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 2.7k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, jealousy, some good car sex w/ breast play, straddling, fingering, a lil spit play

note: to the anon who requested the one shot, i promise i have it done - i can’t post it juuuust yet tho lol

tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead @bluesharksandfish @photographic-girl @yonkoghan @moonchild1​ @thebeebi​ (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

"How was your date, Jungkookie?" Hoseok asks as he forks into his salad. Jungkook sits in front of Hoseok and Yoongi, while Namjoon and Jin sit off to either of his sides. Kook does a simple chuckle with his nose scrunched as he's digging into his fries.

"Good." He smirked.

"Oooh, Jungkookie has a girlfriend!" Hoseok laughed, causing both Namjoon and Jin to shoot looks at each other while shifting in their seats.

"No, but I hope to ask her out."

"Wait, like really ask her to be your girlfriend?" Yoongi chimed in, his gummy smile coming forth with a small high-pitched laugh. "How cute."

"Yeah, I want to. Not right at this moment, but I've already been planning on how to have this talk with her about being exclusive."

"Aw, our Kookie is growing up!"

"Shut up." Jungkook laughs. "I just really like her. She's beautiful, and smart and fun to be around."

"Are you seeing her today?"

"No, but I'm gonna hang out with her tomorrow. She has stuff to get done."

"Do you see her a lot?"

"A good amount, but I try not to suffocate her."

"Jin, you haven't said anything. What's up with you?" Jin looks up from his plate, eyes quickly roaming between all of them.

"Sorry, I just knew all of this already. It's nothing unexpected." He gives off a fake chuckle.

"Grace issues?" He shrugged.

"Sure, but this isn't about me." They nod and shift their attention back to Jungkook. Whew.

"Have you gotten her in bed?"

"Woah, Yoongi? What the fuck." Namjoon laughed.

"I'm just curious and we're always honest with each other right?" Joon shoots Jin a quick look before shaking his head at Yoongi.

"No." Kook chuckled. "I mean I don't care for it much. If she isn't ready to take that step with me then I won't force her."

"What a gentleman! Jin you taught him well." They laughed. Jin is reciprocating the energy with a small smile, as that's the best he can do right now. He didn't want this topic to come up only because he did already know how Jungkook felt about you. Yes, he felt bad, but also, he didn't want to let up on you. He wasn't going to, and Namjoon can easily tell he wasn't over you even though he told Jungkook to go for it. He hated having this silent competition. He knew his feelings for you were growing and he couldn't help but feel like a child over it.

I saw her first. I got her first. Me. Not you.

And so their conversation over an early dinner gets put to rest, Jin thanking God that no one pressed him more about Grace or why he truly wasn't saying much. They were all too caught up in Jungkook's feelings. All, except Namjoon. Jin gets to his classroom a little early to get himself together for class, gathering all his thoughts and feelings about you, Jungkook, Grace, etc., and pushing it to a far, far corner in his mind. At least, until class is over.

[Namjoon] 5:04pm: You couldn't be any more obvious.

[Jin] 5:05pm: What are you talking about now?

[Namjoon] 5:05pm: You're still seeing her. Or, let me rephrase - You're still trying to pursue her even after you told your brother to go for it.

[Jin] 5:06pm: It's complicated.

[Namjoon] 5:06pm: Seokjin, please. What did I tell you? Don't start this mess.

[Jin] 5:07pm: It'll be fine, okay? I appreciate the concern but stop worrying about me.

He sighs as he paces around the front of his room. The real reason as to why you weren't hanging out with Jungkook tonight was because of him. He needed to see you. Feel you. Touch you. Be close to you. There was also something he needed to bring up, hoping you'd agree to it.

Namjoon was right. The concern is valid. However, if things pull through the way Seokjin expects it to, then he knows what he has to do from there. He'll know how to approach this better. Hopefully.

Seeing you in class makes him feel at ease. He loves the little smiles you send his way when you both make eye contact. He just loves to look at you. Smiling and laughing with your friends. Your serious face when it's time to focus. He has it bad for you.

"Alright, class. Get those in to me on time by next week and I'll think about the movie." Jin laughs as the class has mixed reactions while packing up their things.

"But Mr. Kim it's a really good movie, don't you think we deserve a little break in class?" Taehyung whines as he picks up his bag.

"I always think you guys deserve a break, the movie though? Not sure if it's my cup of tea."

"Awww come on, just once." The class whined, making Jin laugh that adorable laugh he has. It was cute to see how adored Jin was by your classmates. He truly was a great teacher and made it a safe environment for everyone. Completely inclusive.

"I'll sleep on it. See you guys next week." He smiles and flashes a wink at a couple of people leaving the classroom saying their goodbyes. He stands at the front, his hands dug into his pockets as he looks at you and Ryujin coming down the steps - always being the last to leave.

"I'm counting on you, Mr. Kim." Ryujin says, flipping her hair.

"Counting on me for what?"

"The movie." She turns to look at you. "And other things." You shove her out the door before looking over at Jin, who hasn't stopped chuckling.

"You heard her." He nods.

"Pick you up in a few?" He asks, almost at a whisper. You return the nod and smile before walking out. You silently walk next to Ryujin, thinking about what tonight would be about. Not gonna lie, you were excited to be alone with him again, even if that meant being in his car, sitting in silence. The thought alone made you happy. The thought made you push through the day just to get to this point.

"Are you seeing him?"

"Yeah." Is all you respond to Ryujin with.

"Be careful, okay?"

"I know." Ryujin knew you weren't going to let up on Jin easily. She too, just like Namjoon, could tell that you had developed deep feelings for him, yet she just didn't know how you would approach it. Whatever it was though, she was going to have your back and be there for you. She just wished you had told the boys because handling you alone is work! Extra support would have been nice!

Getting home, you toss your things aside and start working on a few assignments until Jin is texting you that he's outside of your building. You feel a little nervous, as if it's a first date when it's really not. You step out of the elevator and into the lobby, just to see him ahead in the driver's seat. He has one hand resting along the wheel while he's scrolling through his phone in the other.

"Hey." You say as you hop into the passenger's seat. He puts his phone down and looks at you, his head tilted towards you and rested against the headrest.

"Hey pretty girl." He softly smiles as he leans over to kiss you on the lips. "Want some ice cream?" You laugh.

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not?" He begins to drive off, taking you to a nearby ice cream joint.

"How was your day today?" You ask him as he's roaming the streets looking for parking.

"It was alright. Went to work for a bit and met up with the boys for an early dinner before class."

"How was that?" He keeps his eyes on the road.

"Mm, good. I love sitting around and hearing about my brother's feelings for you." You chuckle at his sarcasm.

"You're dramatic."

"Call it what you want." He says. "It's still not fair."

"You can do something about it, you choose not to though." You straight up tell him. He parks his car and looks over at you, a small smirk plastered on his face.

"So, do you want me to do something about it?"

"Jin, please. Don't turn this on me. You're the one whining." You get out of the car. It was true. He kept talking about Jungkook and how he couldn't stand it, but yet, his ass was over here doing absolutely nothing. You expected that much though, because what? Was he just going to up and leave his fiancé because of a little jealousy? You honestly didn't think it was that deep for Jin. Maybe a little bit of a competition, but nothing too serious. And that was honestly the most painful realization for you.

You probably weren't worth it.

"I'm not whining, love. Trust me." You subtly roll your eyes at the weak comeback, but you don't throw in a rebuttal. Were you worth it? It was hard to read Jin sometimes. There were days where you felt like this could be more, then there were days where you felt dumb as hell for even having the thought cross your mind.

Like right now, you feel like this could be more with the way he's letting you taste his ice cream, his hand below your chin to catch any melting ice cream from dripping onto your clothing. He takes his cone back to his lips at the same time he's raising the napkin to the corners of your lips. You're both sitting in his car, overlooking the bay and the San Francisco skyline view in his back seat. There's a walking trail in front of the small lot his car is currently parked in, but no one is around. It's just you, Seokjin and your ice cream cones.

"Mmmm, thank you." You say gobbling up the last bit of your cone.

"You're welcome." He chuckles. "How was your day?" You shrugged.

"Same old." You fold your leg onto the seat while the other draped over it just so you could turn and look at Jin. You lean your head against the seat, watching him eat the last bits of his cone. You admired him, and you couldn't help but marvel at how absolutely breathtaking he was. The goddamn nerve. He was literally sitting there in a hoodie and jeans and you thought he was the most endearing thing.

"Sounds fun." He clears his throat as he tosses the napkin into the cup holder in front.

"Why'd you bring me out here?"

"I just wanted to see you. Is that too much to ask for?" He looked at you. "I missed you."

"You see me in class."

"It's not the same and you know it." He cocks his head to the side again to look at you. "Come here." He grabs your hand to pull you closer to him and leans in for a kiss. You rest your hand on his neck as you continue to kiss him back, the sounds of slow kisses being exchanged filling the car. You climb onto his lap as the kiss deepens, your hands gripping Jin's face while his warm, soft hands explored inside your sweater. "You drove me crazy the other night." He whispers as you slightly pull away.

"Good." You respond, bringing your lips back onto his, slowly grinding your hips into his.

"Fuck." He hisses. He quickly aids in removing your leggings before unbuckling his jeans. You feel his hardened member underneath his boxer briefs against your clothed folds, causing you to slightly tilt your head back in pleasure. You feel his hands travel up to your bra, unhooking it and raising your sweater to suck on your nipples freely. You feel his tongue working in circular motions on your hardened bud, causing you to let out a breathy moan. His eyes wander up to your face, slightly shutting close when he sees how much you're enjoying this. He moves to the other breast, his free hand cupping the one he had just removed himself from, tongue exploring your nipple. His hand moves down to aggressively hook your panties to the side, giving him room to swipe his fingers up and down your wet folds.

"Oh shit." You slightly jerk at the sensation, his long fingers taking their sweet time spreading your wetness all around your pussy.

"You're so fucking wet." He keeps his eyes on you and watches your eyes roll to the back of your head when he inserts two digits, pumping them in and out. It's incredibly hot to him how fucking wet you are, the sounds of your pussy now echoing in the car.

"Jin, ohhhhshit." You mewl. "I'm gonna cum." He continues to pump his long fingers into you, the feeling of both pain and pleasure radiating throughout your body. He curves his digits upwards, tickling your core to send you hurdling over the edge. You buck in your position from how hard the orgasm hits you, Jin's wet fingers swiping your folds and gently caressing your sensitive clit. You squeal, the overstimulation becoming a little overbearing but it feels so fucking good. You unbury his hardened member from his boxer briefs, letting your spit dribble down onto his cock as you play with the pre-cum pooling at the head.

"Oh fuck, Y/N. Don't do that shit." He tilts his head back in pleasure. You silently chuckle as you jerk him, getting his dick a little wet before hopping on and filling yourself up with it.

"Ugh, why do you feel so fucking good?" You moan as you fix your position onto him, slowly riding him and easing your way into it. You slip his two fingers into your mouth to taste yourself, his fingers still dripping from your cum.

"I-I've been wanting to fuck you so badly." He lets out a breathy moan. "The things you do to me."

"Yeah?" You say, picking up the pace as his hands guide your hips and direct your pace.

"Just like that, baby." He groans. You love when he called you baby. It made you want to give him all of you.

Your hands are resting on his shoulders, gripping tightly as you grind your hips in a steady motion. You cock your head back in pleasure, Seokjin's hands gripping your breasts. You begin to roll your hips slowly, a louder moan erupting from both him and you.

"I'mgonnafuckingcum." Your words mesh together, unable to speak clearly at how good he feels deep inside of you.

"You're so tight. God, you feel so good, gonna cum with you." Sooner or later, a roll of the hip or two in, your coil is spiraling out of control, causing you to yell Jin's name as you scratch onto his clothed shoulders, his fingers digging deep into your skin as he fills you up at the same time you're milking his dick.

His head slowly raises from against your chest, his cheeks tinted and eyes slightly glazed. He smiles up at you, his lips locking with yours once more before you climb off to clean yourself.

"Y/N." He says, tucking himself back in and getting himself situated in the seat.

"Hm?" You hook your bra back together and fix your sweater.

"I'm going to LA this weekend for a quick business conference." You furrowed your eyebrows, unsure why he was telling you this. It's not like you asked him for a daily play by play.

"Okay, have fun?" You chuckle.

"Meet me there." He looks at you. "I have to be there by Friday morning, but I know you still have work and school."

"Meet you.. in LA?" He nods.

"I really want you to. I'll buy your plane ticket. But also, know that I'm not forcing you." He slightly sighs. "I just wanna be able to spend time with you and do other things together besides fucking each other's brains out."

"Um," is all you can respond with. Because hell to the fuck yes you wanted this. But you weren't sure why you were hesitating? Maybe it was a big jump and you were scared of taking it? The lies you'd have to tell people about where you would be going this weekend? It was all such a mess. Such a huge, huge mess. Part of you also felt like this would be such an easy way for Grace to find out.

"You don't have to tell me your answer now but— just know it'll make me really happy to have you there with me." He looks at you softly, a small smile creeping at the corner of his lips. Perhaps, you were worth it.

[cafe-de-lune]

can i please request for a matchup with tokyo revengers? i dont mind gender but i have a male preference :)

i usually get around three different mbtis when taking tests; istp, intp, enfp. also if you need im a taurus sun

when I’m around people I’m comfortable with I’m very talkative and joking, but when I’m with people i don’t like or agree with I’m cold and snappy. in academics i usually go for the bare minimum bc i don’t want to talk to my teachers. im observant and can tell some people’s emotions by their body language.

i have about chin length fluffy brown hair (it kinda looks like inuis when brushed w a comb) i have brown eyes and small freckles on my nose :), i have a few pimples, i like wearing eyeliner and im 160cm tall, my aesthetic is kinda indie, crystal kid and art kid mixed.

i really enjoy painting and drawing, (i have a drawing infront of me rn), i enjoy writing about my feelings since i don’t have to worry about hurting someone’s feelings, i recently started playing games like genshin and cookie run :), habits i have would probably be like; going to sleep way to late but still waking put early, leaving my room messy until it bothers me enough to clean, sometimes i have troubles eating (im a picky eater).

i look for a s/o that i can trust, and one that i can predict and read bc it makes me really anxious to not know what someone’s reaction will be, i also want a partner that will not need complements at all times or cannot think for themselves.

tysm <33 have a lovely day!

꒰ ☕️ ꒱ؘ Order: Cappuccino ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

I match you up with . . . . ♡

ຳི⟡᎒ chifuyu matsuno ✿ೃ*

. . ⇢ [ falling in love . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱

Strangers/classmates to lovers trope!

Chifuyu, one day, got dared to buy a rose and give it to strangers on the streets by baji. Of course, he was dared to do it and so Chifuyu went to a flower shop to buy a rose and complete his dare. (Of course, it wasn’t without Baji and the rest of Toman hiding and looking at him while cackling amongst themselves)

And the person that Chifuyu decided to give the rose just so happen to be you. (Right place at the right time haha.) Of course, there was a mixture of confusion and weariness that hit you when Chifuyu all of a sudden shyly held a rose up to you

Chifuyu probably said something along the lines of “I was dared to give a rose to a stranger but you are cute so please accept this” and he probably said it really fast and had a hard time of making eye contact with you. And then he got really embarrassed and shy. Chifuyu though he made a fool of himself and quickly ran in the direction of his friends

(Baji was probably slapping poor Chifuyu’s back and laughing. They probably questioned him why he seemed so shy and why his face was so red)

But you would end up accepting it. And I think it was be flattering haha.

But fate has its own ways and it was at school where Chifuyu spotted you again. He was like “ah the cute person I gave the rose to.” And remembering the encounter made the feelings from that day come again.

Baji of course laughed at him and smacked his back again. (It’s probably a habit tbh) baji probably hyped Chifuyu up and encouraged him to talk to you. After a short pep talk of encouragement to himself, Chifuyu went up to you

You can tell he was really nervous. But he said something along the lines of “hey I was that stranger who gave you the rose on the street… if you remember…” he was scratching the back of his head as he talked

You two probably became friends that way. And I have a feeling that you two would get up to a lot of silly things that would end up in you two laughing and enjoying your time. And this might even go into skipping classes from time to time to opt to chill out at the rooftop

Chifuyu found you cute (especially with your fluffy hair) before and interacting and getting to know you better was just the last thing that broke the camels back. It was a slow catalyst of his descent to actually having feelings for you

And he would be all shoujo manga female lead about it when he found out about his feelings. He would go home and internally scream, punch his pillow, roll around in his bed and finally hug his pillow as he processes his realization without combusting. Meanwhile Peke J is just staring at him like he was used to it. (Probably due to the amount of gushing he say Chifuyu do whenever a cute scene appears in the mangas he reads)

Baji is going to know about his friend’s little crush very very soon. And you bet he is going to tease the shit out of Chifuyu. And this includes nudging Chifuyu slightly when baji sees you with a knowing smile, and purposefully leaving you two along with a pretence of needing to studying so his mom would be upset.

(But baji makes it so obvious that somethings up and Chifuyu’s obviousness doesn’t really help much either. And because you are good at reading other people, you WILL know

. . ⇢ [ confessing . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱

Chifuyu will probably get a feeling that you know his feeling given the times that you saw through him. So he knows his time is ticking away and he should probably act fast. But the problem is now?

He doesn’t want his confession to be too half assed or rushed. He wants something thought out because it’s confessing to you after all.

He creates these ways that are heavily manga inspired but to him, every single one of them didn’t fit. So he laments about it until late into night and he ended up waking up and seeing he fell asleep on his desk. Chifuyu would sigh and just remember the fun times you two shared

This eventually made him think back to the time where you two first met on that street or something. And Chifuyu would stop. He would think of that place and figure out a way.

This hopeless romantic will probably confess to you in the same place where he gave the rose to you. Except, instead of a single rose, it’s a small bouquet of roses wrapped in your favourite colour.

He will wait until you arrived first, while he hides and awaits your arrival. Once he saw you arrive, he gives himself a pep talk like on the day you met and went to you with the small bouquet of roses behind his back.

“I wasn’t dared to give you roses this time, but I still think you are cute. The new thing is that I like you so please accept the rose and please consider going out with me!” Chifuyu would say while revealing the bouquet and looking like a lovesick fool he is

When you accept and decided to go out with him, Chifuyu is just so relieved. He might even let a few tears slide out

. . ⇢ [ dating . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱

I wrote myself a note to write a scenario based on this so. Your mom probably brought up the fact that you and your bro made mannequins stick up the rude finger and Chifuyu found it hilarious. So as an inside joke, whenever you two go out shopping or somewhere with mannequins, Chifuyu would secretly do that and show it to you. And sometimes, you would stay in the area and pretend to be shopping but in reality you two are actually looking at how people will react once they see it lol

You two will continue your silly antics and one of them is the scenario above. (On Halloween, Chifuyu might even suggest you two putting mannequin heads on top on your head and stabilize it but putting the hood of your hoodie in it. And he would be like “help me draw eyeliner on my mannequin. And help me decorate it” and then you two would take silky pictures)

Chifuyu’s emotions are like an open book. Even my toddler niece can tell you what Chifuyu is feeling because he is kinda obvious in terms of his feelings. It’s safe to say he wears his heart on his sleeves. So it wouldn’t be much of a problem because he is someone who will show a reaction instantly

(When he is blushing, not only would his face get red, but the tips of his ears would get red as well and it’s really cute. When he is frustrated I think he will unconsciously cross his arms and furrow his brows while concentrating and thinking of a solution. When he is lovesick you will see a warm fondness in his eyes)

After finding out that you like to write your feelings out to prevent people from getting hurt, Chifuyu would suggest you two share a notebook where you two can convey words that are hard to say. And this can range from conveying why a party is upset to start romantic messages that Chifuyu is too shy to convey. (The latter part probably occurred earlier in the relationship where he is still shy)

Chifuyu will probably be the type to keep track of monthly anniversaries so that he can give you a rose to commemorate the first time you two met. And he will give you different colour of rose too!

For example, during the beginning of your relationship, he will give you a white rose which means new beginnings. And later on, he would start giving you other kinds of flowers, like a red carnations or red tulips for love

(He always avoids giving you a yellow rose because it means friendzone. And he avoids other flowers with depressing meanings. You will find a flower language book somewhere in between the volumes of shoujo manga collection)

While Chifuyu isn’t much of an artist himself, he enjoys seeing the pieces of art you make. And this is kinda off topic but not really, but whenever he is in class and zoned off on whatever the teacher is talking about, he would draw small pictures. Most often, they would be chibi you or Peke J (like in the feelings notebook)

So when you take a look at his notes, you’ll see these cute little drawings littering the margins. And if he sees you looking at them, he will combust and be like “sorry don’t look at them I’m so bad at drawing!” But if you compliment him on his drawings, he is going to beam with happiness

He lets you draw on his hands or arms. And it can be about anything. And he tries to make it last as long as possible. (To remember it he takes a picture of it every time) sometimes, he joins you on drawing on his arms or hands. But when he is drawing with his non-dominant hand, he turns out really funny and messy

Back to art, he is probably gonna attempt painting with you watching and kinda teaching him. And he is going to be very proud of his end work. (It’s gonna be Peke J except, Peke J is drawn like a majestic lion. Or at least an attempt of it.)

When you introduce him to genshin, you two would collect co-op a lot together. (And the first thing you two do will be going to that island where there is that beard shaped rock and just stand there and have a photo shoot.) his world is free estate to collect any items and it’s only for you because you have the boyfriend pass. (Probably same with Netflix or Disney+)

While I personally don’t know the mechanics of cookie run, he’s going to play with you and add you as a friend.

You two will find yourselves talking, texting or FaceTiming/calling each other late into the night. And Chifuyu would send you memes or funny videos he thinks you would like at like the peak of dawn or in the middle of night. There is no in between.

Chifuyu will probably be the first to initiate handholding. And he is going to spend countless attempts because he gets shy and backs out many times. But in the end he just shyly asks you if he can hold your hand. (He’s going to get more confident as time progresses. He’s just a shy boy haha.)

And he loves giving hugs. So expect a lot of hugs from him. Along the lines of giving affection, he always wanted to pet or like take through your hair because of fluffy it looks. So if you allow him to indulge in that, he would be very very happy

. . ⇢ [ couple pics . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱

. . ⇢ [ other compatibles . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱

.˚🌙 ༘┊͙ mitsuya takashi ;

Mitsuya is someone compatible because he is independent and doesn’t need compliments all the time and he can definitely think for himself. Though you may not read him as easily as Chifuyu, he is still pretty easy to read. Loyalty is something he wants in a relationship so you two will go well together as well!

He learns what you like and don’t like in terms of food and makes cute little bentos from time to time. And by cute I mean like things in shapes of hearts or stars or one of those character bentos. And sometimes there is rice in shape of hearts. He makes them along with his sisters bento so he is very well adept at making cute bentos. And he would like to make one for you. (He would also slip little notes of encouragement or sweet words of affirmation)

Most definitely makes clothes based on what you like and your aesthetic. And he would just take note of what you are wearing casually and make something based on that. And if you two were shopping or looking around and he sees an item has caught your eye, he will probably make it for you. (And you two might even collaborate! He might make a clothing inspired or based off on one of your drawings/paintings)

. . . . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,, it’s completed. I HOPE U ENJOYYY ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈

[peaches-writes]

not-so-secret santa

skz of christmas day 7: exchange gift with minho

member: minho  wc: 1.7k genre: fluff, childhood friends to lovers au, college au, a side of established relationship au warning: explicit language, threatening (?) note: this is me channeling all of my younger self’s christmas frustrations into a short fic lmao 

christmas 2006 

“Minho, who did you pick?” Your Homeroom teacher at the time, Ms. Yang, asked your classmate next to keep the Secret Santa chain going. The previous exchange was from Chan to Mina but since Mina already received her gift from Bam Bam, your teacher naturally picked Minho who was sitting right next to Chan. 

Next to you, said boy then handed you the red and green-wrapped rectangle in his hands. “Merry Christmas, Y/N!” He greeted you as per Mrs. Yang’s instructions when someone will give their Secret Santa present, a mischievous smile on his face. “Enjoy!” 

Your excited smile immediately fell into an angry frown as the hard rectangle is then placed on your lap. “All this time...” You pouted at Minho then, carefully picking up the gift in your hands. “You even bought this with me and you didn’t even bother making an effort!” 

The entire class looked at you inquisitively but, in the moment, you didn’t really care. You already knew that the empty picture frame Minho thought was a genius idea to gift for the Secret Santa as a prank was inside the wrapping you held, you’d know because your respective moms took you on the same shopping trip where he got it. 

Minho was not yet your best friend at the time but you were so childishly angry at that point that you didn’t hesitate on hitting him with the picture frame. “Ugh, Lee Minho, I hate you!” 

Minho’s mom ended up buying you lunch after. 

christmas 2011

“Ooh, I can’t wait to see who Minho picked for the Secret Santa.” Chan excitedly rubbed his palms together next to you, earning him a glare from you at hearing his tone of voice.

“I can’t wait to laugh if it’s you.” You deadpanned, making him chuckle.

“Ya, what’s with the death glare? I wasn’t teasing you!” He then held his hands up in defense but your glare is unwavering. “Well, not directly, at least.”

You only scoffed in response, turning your attention back to this class Christmas party’s MC, Seungkwan, who’s now, as if on cue, called onto your best friend to give away his Secret Santa gift.

“Y/N!” Minho then called for you, making yours and Chan’s eyes widen from across your large class circle. He held up the red package in his hand, the one he made you wrap yourself the night before as punishment for losing in a sleepover game, then exclaimed, “Catch!”

You weren’t given much time to process his words before the package is flung at you, landing just in front of the accumulating stack of gifts right in front of you from your other friends.

The entire class gasped before falling silent, collectively having a flashback of your 2nd grade fight with Minho over the same thing. Everyone (Chan mostly), just hoped that Minho got you something better than the empty picture frame.

But by the way your ears started to fume and you immediately stood up to tackle Minho said otherwise.

“Lee Minho, have you ever had a white T-shirt shoved in your mouth?!” You threatened as you approached him with the ‘gift’ he prepared for your Secret Santa.

Luckily, Chan was strong enough by then to hold you back.

Minho ended up (reluctantly) buying you dinner to 'compensate.’

christmas 2016

“What number did you get?” Minho asked you, resting his chin on your shoulder to peer at the folded piece of paper in your hands after. “Oh, number 10! Awesome, that’s from me!” 

It’s the one year you didn’t get to go Christmas shopping with him because you caught a fever and the class Secret Santa’s been experimentally switched out for the White Elephant game and you still somehow ended up with his present. You groaned and pulled yourself away from Minho, turning around to face him. “What is it this time, Minho?” 

“It’s something useful this time, I promise!” He swore with a hand raised on his side, going over his chest to form a cross after. 

And Minho really thought he was doing something buying a mug for you with his face printed on it. 

“See?” The boy pointed out after the gifts have been distributed. You didn’t pounce on him immediately this time since the mug could easily break. Instead, you waited until his mom picked the two of you up until you punched his arm. “It even changes to another face when you pour hot water on it!” 

To prove it to you, he barged into your home on Christmas Day and made you hot chocolate topped with marshmallows. The photo of him with a heart eyes filter on the mug changed into him with a Godzilla filter. 

christmas 2020  

“Put your seatbelt on, brat.” You instruct your boyfriend as you expertly twist the ignition on your right, bringing the SUV’s engine to life. Next to you, Minho chuckles as he puts his seatbelt on, leaning back on the red-covered seats leisurely. “I don’t want you dying before we get to the Christmas Sale.” 

“It’s not like the flea market is on the other side of the country.” He scoffs playfully, laughing even more when you hit him on the shoulder as you place your hand on his headrest while backing the car out of your house’s garage. 

“It will be when I throw you across the city if you show me something weird for the exchange gift.” You glare. “This is our first Christmas as a couple and you’re already on thin ice.”

“Oh, boo, I’m so scared.” He rolls his eyes. Opening the car’s glove compartment, he takes out the picture frame he got you from the 2nd grade. It’s supposed to fit the shallow dip on the dashboard but you broke its back support some time ago. “And I don’t give weird gifts for the Secret Santa. Look, you still have a photo of us on the picture frame.” 

You glance over his side, sighing in exasperation. “Because my mom said I should at least use it, doesn’t mean I actually like it.” 

“You’re wearing the white shirt too.” He points out next. “Basics are in these days, I was ahead of my time back in high school.” 

“If you’ll get me a face towel this year—Secret Santa or not—I will actually murder you in front of all our friends this time.” 

“That’s hot, babe, I’d like to see you try.” 

- 

Minho happily links his free arm with yours as you navigate your way through the tight crowd of last-minute shoppers, his other hand carrying half of your eco bags. Throughout this two-hour trip, he’s shown you countless of weird things on sale as gifts for his friends—from plastic cereal cups that he’ll give to Felix to an actual set of face towels he plans on giving Jisung—but he’s yet to show you what he’s planning to gift you. 

Or maybe he already has and just showed it to you under the bluff that he’ll give it to someone else like he did in all those times before. 

“Min, we’ve been walking for ten minutes,” You protest as you begrudgingly drag your feet to wherever he’s taking you. Your own arms are about to fall off with your own share of eco bags and the fact that your wallet’s currently a mess with the amount of fast transactions you needed to make is starting to bother you. “Where are we going?” 

“We’re almost there, promise!” He assures you with a grin, tugging you closer to his side before you could bump into an old lady walking from the opposite direction. “We’re getting your gift now so be a little patient!” 

“Or maybe you’re fucking with me again.” You grumble, making him laugh and shake his head. 

“Nope, this one’s only for you.” He assures, pulling you to the right when you reach an intersection. “You’ll see why.” 

You only stop walking five minutes later, when Minho drags you to a stall selling pre-order snow globes. The stall owner, a buff middle-aged man, greets Minho and hands him the biggest snow globe on sale in exchange for the money he’s set aside. 

“Ah, and this is the person with you on the picture?” The man then asks him once he’s finished paying, turning to you with a polite smile. “You two are adorable! How long now?” 

“W-What?!” You stare back incredulously, processing way too slow for the situation.

Clearly, it hasn’t been long since you and Minho started dating, by the way you’re immediately flustered.

“Just a little over six months!” Minho proudly beams, on the other hand, the man laughs wholeheartedly at this.

“Aah, young love.” The stall owner chuckles. Turning to you, he then gestures to the snow glob and adds, “Your boy’s very sweet!” 

Only then do you glance down on the snow globe in front of Minho. It has two dolls resembling the two of you surrounded by cats patterned to Minho’s pets and little buildings resembling your most frequented places: the school you went to until high school, the universities you’re currently attending, the library where you spend most of your all-nighters, the hotel you stayed at on your first trip, and this particular flea market you always shop Christmas gifts at. 

There’s also the new movie house on the side but, from what you can remember, you haven’t been there yet. 

“Is this good enough for you? For a first Christmas at least?” Minho asks with a coy smile, nudging your side and effectively taking you out of your thoughts. He then holds up the snow globe to you, shaking it gently before placing it on your much freer hand. “If you check one side of the globe, there’s the movie house you wanted to visit. I was thinking we could watch a movie right after the Christmas party but, you know, just us.” 

You gush at the snow globe, squinting your eyes when you have to glance up at Minho again. “And you’re sure this is mine?” 

“It has your name engraved on the bottom, dumbass.” He points out for you, making your eyes widen momentarily. “And it has my name on it too. Put two and two together now.” 

“We’re sharing?” 

“No, babe, I’m trying to ask you out on a date!” 

-

december 23 (bang chan)

skz of christmas (masterlist) 

m.list

@skzwriternet

[khaleesiofalicante]

HI, IT'S ME! YOUR LOCAL CHAOTIC WEIRDO!!!!! I'M BACK AGAIN LIKE I AM TWICE EVERY WEEK

IT'S MY BOY DAVID THIS TIME! WHY AM I SO HYPER! MAYBE BECAUSE THEY KISSED! AND I HAD TO SUPPRESS MY SCREAMS BCAUSE IM IN CLASS AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY IS OUTSIDE MY DOOR (NOT LITERALLY OFC)

OK OK OK OK OK OK

MAX AND DAVID ARE AT THE LONDON INSTITUTE YESYESYESYES

He rather liked that part in a story – when the hero fell, and everything seemed bleak. It always meant that hope was just around the corner. Because darkness never lasted. It was always followed by light. There was nothing more beautiful than that kind of sunrise.

THIS

I literally live my life by this analogy

AHHH DAVID IS ON HIS TRAVEL YEAR AND MAX IS WITH HIM

SCREAM

well i can't scream because my mom is sitting right there and I have class in 4 minutes so imma smile really wide

“Are you planning to read the entire library during your travel year?” Max chuckled.

“Of course not,” David replied. “I will need longer than a year to accomplish that goal.”

Me.

Wait

does max not being able to make portals have something to do with his lineage?

like

demon parent

ok so my programming class started 2 minutes early but screw programming I'm gonna be studying minds not this shit

ok that's a very bad attitude for someone who needs good grades in this year

Max was always hungry.

this is so me

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

TY

THEY MENTIONED TY

also if David doesn't become an institute head in the future THEN WHAT'S THE POINT

“Where is the kitchen?” Max interrupted.

max is such a mood

He had told Max that he had centuries to perfect his magic, that there was no need to rush it. Max had given him a noncommittal nod and nothing more.

HE'S GONNA MAKE THE BEST PORTALS YOU'LL SEE

“I won’t tell the Consul,” Kit winked.

At the mention of the Consul, David straightened up. He had been trying to get into Alec Lightwood’s good graces for years now. He didn’t think sharing a room with his son would do him any favors.

DAVID UDUCDFUHKDUHVUHSDH

PLEASE IF WE DON'T GET A CUTE ALEC AND DAVID SCENE SOON

KIT CALLED TESSA MOM

oh my god

Word was that Mr. Herondale had gone back to his obsession with brewing tea.

JACE

I have so many emotions right now but all I'm gonna say is that I'm so so proud of Rafael

“Do you not want to sleep with me?” Max asked.

UH-

WELL-

DAVID STOP THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE AND ALL THE SHIT

STOP IT

OH MY GOD THE ONE BED TROPE

MAX IS IN HIS ARMS I'M ABOUT TO-

takes a deep breath don't scream. everyone outside this door thinks you're taking programming class

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY

AWW JULIAN PAINTED PORTRAITS FOR THE INSTITUTE

The one of Will Herondale and Tessa Gray – A love that had transcended reality and lasted a lifetime.

The one of James Herondale and Cordelia Carstairs – A love that had started with a lie and then blossomed into nothing but happiness and devotion.

The one of Lucie Herondale and Jesse Blackthorn – A love that had been so powerful that it rewrote the past.

The one of Jace Herondale and Clary Fairchild – A love that had walked through hell and shaken up the heavens.

And then there the final one. The one of Kit Herondale and Tiberius Blackthorn – A love that had survived distance and darkness and doom.

This omg...

He wanted a love story. The kind he read in the books. The kind he saw in these portraits.

But he wasn’t a Herondale. He wasn’t sure if he was destined for that kind of love.

HEY

DON'T THINK LIKE THAT

The first part though

same

He might have been a little too excited. It was biologically impossible to control yourself when you find a stranger reading your favorite book in the whole world.

SO TRUE

“I see you already made a new friend,” Max said.

He sounded a little…odd. As if he was not pleased that David had made a new friend.

honey...

take a guess

can I jump in and bash their heads together?

“You are thinking of conjuring chocolate syrup, aren’t you?” David chuckled.

“How do you always know what’s on my mind?” Max chuckled back.

Because I know you, David wanted to say. I just wish I knew what’s in your heart too.

OH MY GOD I CANT WITH THIS

“You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup!” Max was yelling, standing on the chair.

They residents laughed harder, and David shook his head fondly. He hoped one day Max would pursue a career in theatre. He was a born showman.

can I have chocolate syrup?

also, the way David is just so fond of him like DYUSDGYJCDYUJM

“By the angel, do you have to be a drama queen about everything?” the boy next to them muttered – not so quietly.

David blinked. That was uncalled for.

But Max being Max was completely unfazed. “Of course I do. My Bapa would be personally offended otherwise.”

exactly you rude little shit

Max often pretended like people’s words didn’t hurt him - just as he pretend that fire doesn’t burn or wounds don’t bleed.

wow ok stop calling me out

Is max jealous??????

is he??????

how are people so good at languages like damn

TY

TY

TY

TY

“Oh my god,” Max groaned. “Is he already telling people to check on me?”

LMAO

using mundane medicine...

that's risky

but it's also something that WILL help

can't warlocks tamper with the blood samples?

A part of him wondered if that’s why he had agreed to send Max away to London – at least for a week. Because sometimes you didn’t want other people to see you were hurting.

alec I really goddamn hope you're dealing with this well

some of whom had even decided to die than get help from a warlock.

alright then gets my knives but you chose this :D

Nobody brought a book down for breakfast if they didn't like to read.

yes but sometimes also to seem busy so people won't bother you or you won't look alone.

“I know,” the boy said as he walked past them to the gate. “I sat on the stairs and thought about life for a few good minutes.”

his family is the one who took over David's previous institute (i can't spell that. marse- marselli- wat??) methinks.

The gang always visited whenever all of them were in the city together. They would have so much fun! Of course, the 'fun' mostly entailed Rafael stopping Georgia from drinking random potions she found in the stalls, Selena stopping Lexi from opening a psychic booth to help people talk to Raziel and of course David stopping Max from running to the gambling booths.

LMAO, I CANT WITH THIS-

Rafe: I am anxiety.

me at any given moment

EW TESTICLES HE'S EATING THOSE-

ok maybe I'm the only person who's really picky when it comes to food and doesn't eat the majority of things

“Anything on Magnus Bane?” Max asked.

“No,” the woman snapped and shoved some of the letters into a bag and hide it under the table. “Leave Magnus Bane alone!”

“Appreciate your loyalty,” Max winked at her and started examining a diary.

I like her.

"Everyone should be participating in this" -my programming teacher

me, an intellectual: participating in what?? goes to the class web THE FUCK IS THAT

“Something for the shadowhunter?” the woman smiled. “Perhaps an unpublished snippet from the Beautiful Cordelia?”

“Do you have any love letters?” David asked.

“Hmmm,” the woman went through the pages. “I do have a correspondence between an Iblis demon and Christopher Lightwood? Would you be interested in that?”

if u don't mind I would love to see both of those-

you know I just remembered I have a computer assignment I need to submit by the end of this week fml

“Never fall in love with an immortal,” she giggled again. “We don’t like staying in one place.”

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

MAX WHERE ARE YOU

why are we using x and 3 in programming class what the heck is going on

“I’m not just some warlock,” Max said, his voice low. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

GIVE HIM THAT NECKLACE BACK

we usually have programming once a week on our physical school days and those are fun because my and my friend are continuously passing notes and talking to each other through writing

The scene where Max fought off all the evil people who tried to steal his valuable belonging. He would fight without breaking a sweat and throw magic fireballs at everyone and then get his necklace back. And then he would kiss David in front of everyone and it would somehow rain all of a sudden.

But life wasn’t a movie or a book. Life was just life.

life's boring

fuck life

I just heard a student ask "why are we not taking out the values of b and c" BESTIE I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING PROGRAMMING AND NOT ALGEBRA?????

“I know there wasn’t anyone to protect you before,” Magnus Bane had said. “But we are here now. We will protect you. This will protect you.”

He hadn’t wanted it back then. He didn't even want it even now.

He didn’t want something to protect him. Most importantly, he didn’t want to cover his scar. He didn’t want to hide it. He wasn’t ashamed of it. It wasn’t a mark of a victim. It was the mark of a survivor.

So, David had smiled and given the bracelet back.

“I never wanted to be protected,” David had replied. “I only ever wanted to be loved.”

The warlock had smiled at that and given David a hug. It had felt different than other hugs he had experienced since he had come to New York.

It wasn’t just the magic. Magnus Bane carried so much love inside himself you could literally feel it through him.

I'm gonna cry during my programming class (where we're doing variables apparently all of a sudden??)

this is so beautiful

“I wasn’t talking about Bapa,” Max said now. “I was talking about the other one.”

David chuckled at that. “Oh, yeah. He is definitely going to kill you.”

what flowers would you like at your funeral?

so Jackson has family troubles

I've definitely got that

yeah I know what it's like to be jealous of someone else's perfect family

JACKSON WTF

Is he trying to ruin max's relationship with his family???

oh hell no

JACKSON THE AUDACITY

“One stolen necklace, One broken nose and One bruised cheek,” he said. “And you’ve been in London for less than a day.”

kit seriously? but is he wrong though?

“This is what I get for falling for a Lightwood-Bane,” David sighed and walked through the portal.

WELL AT LEAST HE'S SELF AWARE

Jackson...

in some ways, I can empathize with him. my younger self anyway. but Jackson this is not how you do things

There was a moment of silence and then Magnus Bane giggled.

“I do love it when the quiet ones go feral,” the warlock grinned.

MAGNUS

NOT.THE.TIME

(me too)

“David!” Mr Herondale gasped. “Is your hand okay?”

yup that's Jace y'all

David hated violence. He hated fighting – which he was often not allowed to say out loud considering he was a shadowhunter.

But it was the truth. He hated hurting people – or even things. It made him feel sick.

“It’s alright, Chouchou,” Mr Herondale ran a hand through David’s hair. “Next time, just-”

“Use my words?” David asked.

“Just don’t get caught,” the man winked.

and that is why I would never want to be a shadowhunter.

I know saying that doesn't do anything but when I first read tsc I wanted to be a shadowhunter really badly and damn that was some time ago but now...violence of any kind is my biggest trigger idek why. and I hate that so much because what kind of a person gets triggered by loud voices and fighting EVEN ON SCREEN??? I usually just push myself to watch stuff because it's dumb. I refuse to see trigger warnings before reading a book or watching a show because damn it, I should be able to stand those things I'm, not a child. and it may be doing me more harm than good but I shouldn't feel like this in the first place

okay...that was long

ANYWAY

“David, I appreciate you standing up for Max,” the Consul said. “But next time, please try not to punch anyone in the face.”

“Yes, sir,” David nodded. “Because it’s wrong.”

“Because it means more paperwork for me,” the Consul groaned and then straightened up. “But yes. Absolutely. Very wrong. No punching people!”

LMAO ALEC

Jackson...

oh

oh

oh

I was wrong then

He was grinning. Magnus Bane must have raised hell in the shadow market.

that must have been fun

Max was doing that thing where he was not trying to pout but he was mostly definitely pouting. It made David want to kiss him. But then the Consul spoke, and David reminded himself he didn’t want to be the third person to get punched in the face this evening.

well-

“I understand that Jackson has been through a lot. But that’s not an excuse for him to hurt those around him. I learned that lesson the hard way. So, you shouldn’t excuse his behaviour.”

someone's trauma and pain is never an excuse to hurt others

but that doesn't mean we should invalidate their trauma either

“You can stay back and try to help him. I won’t stop you,” the man got up now. “But if he tries to hurt you-”

“You will unleash hell?” David chuckled.

“Worse,” the other man grinned. “I will unleash Lexi.”

that is much much worse

Books brought him comfort in so many ways. Just holding one in his hands automatically made him feel better.

oh my god

he gets it

I always have a book with me when I'm out even if I'm not gonna get the time to read it because just the weight and comfort of it in my hands or in my backpack brings me so much comfort and helps with my social anxiety so much

no one understands when I try to tell them that

you get it...

someone gets it finally

AYYY IRENE

“David, it’s very sweet that you want to protect Jackson,” Kit pointed out. “But literally no one is buying that. Not even Irene.”

The lynx purred on his lap as if she agreed with Kit.

“I could break into a liquor cabinet,” David said a little indignantly.

David is the nicest you can get

David wouldn’t. Apparently, everyone already seemed to know that - even the lynx he had met five minutes ago.

we are solving something in class and it's really quiet because we're all doing our work (I'm reading the fic so-) and this one person had their mic open and they kept on whispering their steps and it was so weird I cant-

BUT YES DAVID IS A CINNAMON ROLL. EVEN THE LYNX KNOWS

“We were talking about shitty fathers,” Jackson pointed out. “You’re welcome to stay.”

“I’m gonna need something stronger than red wine for this conversation,” Kit chuckled.

I remember that bitch

David used to do it when he was a child. He used to pretend his life was a story. He used to pretend everything that happened to him was happening to some other boy – a boy who wasn’t real. A boy who lived inside a book. Because it hurt a little less when you pretend like it wasn’t happening to you.

But the pain was still very real.

OK YOU CAN STOP CALLING ME OUT NOW

“I fucking hate ogres,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Was your father an ogre too?” Jackson asked.

“He was more like a harpy,” Kit snorted. “He was always flying and fleeing. I didn’t know how deep his talons were in my head until it was too late.”

you really like traumatizing all your characters, don't you?

I really fucking hope the ogre got what he deserved

and if the angel is dead then fuck everyone

“I mean, there was that time when Sebastian Morgenstern turned my father into the endarkened, and then he went around killing people. So, I would say he was more like a zombie,” the man was explaining now. “The zombie father tried to kill me but my brother killed him first.”

“Good lord!” Jackson said in shock.

Kit chuckled softly. “Boy do shadowhunters need therapy.”

they really do

He knew about those from New York. He knew Mr Herondale and Miss Fairchild went for one together.

YES GET THEM THERAPY

“Yikes,” Kit chuckled. “I’d prefer something classier. How about London Boys?”

“None of us are from London though,” Tiberius pointed out.

“The Beatles are not actually beetles, Ty,” Kit chuckled. “It’s just for pizazz.”

damn guys

Then the idea of a band turned into a possible YouTube channel where they would react to cute animal videos.

YS DO IT

“When people do awful things, really awful things, at one point we stop being surprised. Like what Valentine did to his children or what our fathers did to us or what those women did to Rafael. We might have been shocked or disgusted. But it wasn’t unrealistic, was it?”

“I guess not,” the boy said.

“Even when they did the most unimaginable acts of cruelty, it somehow managed to fit into our imagination. We accepted that the world can be unrealistically cruel. The kind of cruelty we will never understand. But why isn’t it the same for kindness? Why is that when someone is too kind, we automatically feel uncomfortable? We judge their intensions or think they are just pretending to be nice. We think they are being unrealistic. Why is that?”

we get so used to cruelty that kindness feels weird

“But that’s how our life works, doesn’t it? It’s a giant ball of what ifs and could have beens and if nots. What if my father had loved me instead of hurt me? Could I have been kinder if I was hugged instead of being abused? Would have I been a different person if not for my trauma? Our lives are an endless collection of theories about our real selves. The one didn’t we never had the chance to become.”

THIS

I used to spend a bunch of time on the what-ifs but those are useless. so screw the what-ifs and live in the present

“I guess we’ll never know, Jackson. None of us will never know how we would have turned out if things had been different for us. We never got the chance to be who were meant to be. Instead, we became who we had to become to survive what we went through. We will never know our true selves. We only know the version of us that made it through all the trauma.”

“Christ, that’s depressing,” Jackson said.

“It is,” David nodded. “But we made it through. We survived. I think we should focus on that.”

you survived. that's what matters

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be rescued,” David smiled.

I wish I had heard this before...

maybe I don't always have to be strong. maybe it's ok sometimes just want to be saved.

I'm so happy that both Jackson and David found each other

David had learned Gaelic. Jackson had learned how to play the piano.

They had laughed and lived and loved and learned.

And they had survived – one day at a time. The London Boys.

they survived.

I know I'm always key smashing and screaming but these words, these lines, all these chapters mean so so much to me.

“You’ll write to me, won’t you?” David asked, hugging Jackson closely.

“No,” Jackson replied. “I will FaceTime you like a normal person, you weirdo!”

David laughed at that. “I prefer letters. They are more emotional.”

“I’ll text you,” Jackson countered. “With emojis.”

oh to have someone write me letters.

I love writing letters

once at the end of a school year, I wrote little letters to everyone in my class anonymously. even the people who had been mean to me. that was like 1-2 years after my transfer to that school and everyone practically hated me but I wanted to do something nice because who knows what someone is going through. I ended up not putting them in people's desks...

I threw them all away :)

but writing letters is superior

I often write my feelings down and give the letter to someone rather than talk to someone

if you receive a letter from me or a custom-made gift...you have reached my ultimate friendship

oh my god. THIS IS HOW I SHOULD TALK TO ONE OF MY FRIENDS ABOUT MY FEELINGS

It's kind of been a mess between us and I want to talk to her but I didn't know how to.

this is why i shouldn't send asks-

JACKSON CATCHING UP ON MAX AND DAVID

“You know what it means,” Jackson grinned harder. “Also, if that wanker tries to break your heart, I will break his face.”

“You know he is the Consul’s son?” David giggled.

“I’ve done it once and I will do it again,” Jackson shrugged. “He better treat you right.”

"wanker"

I HAVE A BRITISH ONLINE FRIEND AND THEY CALLED OUR AMERICAN ONLINE FRIEND A WANKER

AND OUR OTHER BRITISH FRIEND JOINED IN

WHILE ALL THE NON-BRITISH PEOPLE WERE LIKE "huh"

Lexi had cut her hair even shorter. Her girlfriend apparently got something called an undercut.

“Just in case someone dared to assume we were straight,” she had winked at him.

how many years has this fake dating been going on...

CENTURION SELENA

fterA the twins went to bed, David stepped out of the institute and went looking for his heart.

"went looking for his heart"

OH FUCK I FORGOT TO JOIN MY CLASS

MAX STOP DEPLETING YOUR SELF GODDAMN

And then somewhere along the way, Max’s heartbeat had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

Max, with all his chaos and drama and danger, had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

oh my god that's a parallel from canon

“Tell me why.”

“Ain't nothing but a heart break!!"

Max-

Max could make fireballs that killed demons on the spot. He could summon things from anywhere. He could heal people with his eyes closed. He was one of the youngest warlocks allowed to visit the spiral labyrinth.

Max was a warlock in every sense. A good one. A great one even.

he is so talented...

Only idiots would underestimate Magnus Bane’s power.

EXACTLY

He is probably going to be Consul like next week.”

David chuckled. “Next week?”

next week????

“Yeah, his smoking habits,” Max rolled his eyes.

Rafael wasn’t the smoker in the family. He knew who it was, but David would never open his mouth. It wasn’t his secret to tell.

this keeps on getting better

“It’s my hair!” David laughed.

“And you’re my David!” Max argued. “I say you are not allowed to grow your hair.”

MY DAVID

MY DAVID

MY DAVID

“I don’t want to downworld-splain it to you.”

Max blinked and then laughed. “You don’t want to what?”

“Downworld-splain,” David mumbled. “It’s when shadowhunters explain downworlders how to be downworlders.”

they were SO close to kissing

I'm gonna get in there and lock them in a closet together and tell them to FUCKING GET WITH IT

Remember who you are. Remember where you stand.

remember who you are. remember where you stand...

I know this is supposed to be about portals.

OH MY GOD THEY KISSED

THEY KISSED

IM SO CLOSE TO SCREAMING CLASS AND EVERYONE OUTSIDE THIS ROOM BE DAMNED

OH MY GOD DAVID FELL

reminds me of when alec fell down the stairs-

OH MY GOD I'M GONNA SCREAM

WE'RE GONNA GET MORE MAVID CONTENT SOON I'M SCREAMING INTERNALLY UYDRVFY7VSDU7UYVFSDUYGCADUYIGJCDSHJKGDVCSUGISDVHVF

ok, I have a computer assignment to get to and tests to study for. BUT I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO MUCH!! THEY FINALLY KISSED I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!

Also I know I tend to go off track and you can totally ignore that. i just go crazy. BYEE

This live blog gives me so much life you don't even know. I am go glad you enjoyed the chapter. I love hearing you rant about it. It's refreshing lol.

And I looooooove the lil anecdotes you share in between. Also wtf is a programming class like nobody wants to learn programme what kind of hetero nonsense I-

FINISH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS AND STUDY FOR YOUR TESTS I'LL SEE YOU SOON :)

[fairynavi]

unbearable

a haikyuu x reader ficlet

words: 3.01k

pairing: tsukishima kei x reader

warning/s: just pure fluff about to be thrown your way my dude

Tsukishima Kei has never pegged himself as the romantic type. Yamaguchi can confirm. The blond has never read any of those romance novels during his leisure time, he never pays attention to the dramas his mother watches on TV, and he's never thought twice about dating someone.

He's never fallen in love with someone. He thought it was dumb to fall in love, Romeo and Juliet being a good contender as to why love is such a complicating yet stupid thing. He believes that loving someone romantically is a bother, that's why he's never looked at anyone that way. He's merely protecting himself from getting hurt from love because everything that's said in those romance novels are exaggerated, he tells himself.

Tsukishima was content with everything he had as of now. He's okay with focusing on self-improvement, he doesn't need to value or think of other things.

That is until you showed up.

You're a first year manager, alongside Yachi, of the Karasuno Boy's Volleyball Team and Tsukishima immediately deems you as another person to avoid because the first person you got along with was Hinata. Just like with everyone else, he doesn't interact with you that much, and only says what's necessary when he has to talk to you.

Unfortunately for him, he finds out that you're classmates.

Tsukishima doesn't memorize everyone's names in his class, he doesn't feel the need to do that ever. Once classes end, he's immediately off to practice with Yamaguchi, that is unless he's assigned for cleaning time, so he doesn't even remember you right off the bat.

During English class, the teacher picks you to read a passage from the story that you were analyzing. Being fluent in the English language, this didn't bother you at all. So you stand up and begin reading. Everyone's eyes are on you. They've never heard you speak English before, so they're all definitely surprised, especially a certain tall blond a few seats away from you.

'She's eloquent...', he thinks. Of course, that's what anyone would think if they heard you speaking right now. He's staring at you, and he only realizes when he hears the teacher commend you on your English. He's trying to focus on the lesson, but his mind keep coming back to you and your voice. It's lovely, and soothing in a way. He feels his cheeks heat up a little from thinking about you too much. He finally calms down and focuses back on the passage.

As classes end, the blond sees Yamaguchi begging something from you. As he gets closer, he learns that the other boy is asking for English lessons from you. Yamaguchi notices the taller boy and give him a quick greeting before giving his undivided attention back to you.

"Yamaguchi-kun, are you sure you want me to teach you English?"

"Of course, [Y/N]! There's no one else I know who's as insanely good in English as you are!"

"Well, alright. I guess I can teach you English."

"Teach me as well." Tsukishima finally speaks. Almost in sync, Yamaguchi and you whip your head towards the tall boy's direction. You're just as surprised as Yamaguchi is from Tsukishima's sudden and very surprising request. Tsukishima, of all people, is asking for help. He must be having that much trouble in English to ask someone else to help him.

You're the first to break the uncomfortable silence and you agree to teaching the both of them the subject, Tsukishima is forever thankful for you taking the initiative in changing the awkward atmosphere between the three of you.

Over the course of a few weeks, he's warmed up to you. He talks to you a lot more now, and very rarely he actually engages in the conversation first, but those were usually about homework. Thanks to Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, you've developed a good amount of confidence in your skills as well. You're much more social than you were before, though that's because of Hinata's influence on you, and you participate in a lot of the class activities, be it extra curricular or just favors from your classmates.

Tsukishima always thought you'd eventually forget about him and Yamaguchi, so he stopped himself from getting too attached to you, but to his surprise, you never said no to Yamaguchi whenever he asked to hang out. Sure, you've made a lot more friends now, and you've gained some popularity as well, but you never strayed too far away from the first friends you've ever made.

Not only are you smart, but you're also incredibly kind and selfless, traits Tsukishima never understood. You'd almost immediately, and sometimes literally, drop whatever you were doing and go and help them with whatever they need assistance with, even if it's a little request like taking the trash out to the garbage bins behind the school. You basically thrived off of helping out, and Tsukishima is beyond intrigued by you.

You see, Tsukishima has never seem himself as selfless. He only does things that benefits him. He'll only agree if something is of use to him. To put it in other words, he's selfish. He's never done things to help others, he'll only do so if necessary, such as group projects. He's never the type to consider actually helping someone out because he just felt like it. If it benefits him, he'll do it, if it doesn't, he won't. Simple as that.

Before Tsukishima's even realized it, he's staring at you as you talk to a classmate of yours. Unfortunately, Yamaguchi notices the boy's lovestruck state and decides to initiate a conversation with him. "Tsukki, you've been staring at [Y/N] a lot," He says, catching the taller boy's attention. Tsukishima's eyes dilate in his sudden approach, his cheeks having a tint of pink, and he glares at his friend.

"Shut up, Yamaguchi."

"Sorry, Tsukki, but I'm just surprised how she hasn't noticed just how much you stare at her."

"... Is it really that obvious?"

"To me, it is. To her, it isn't."

Tsukishima groans internally. He didn't even notice that he was staring for so long until Yamaguchi brought it up. No, he will not admit that he was admiring you. Never. He'll get over this, right? This is just a one time thing... right?

Wrong.

He wants to get closer to you now. He wants to interact with you every day. He wishes he sat near you so he could ask for a pencil just so he'd have an excuse to talk to you. He hoped that his heart would stop beating faster whenever you looked at him and smiled. He hoped that his cheeks would stop growing pink whenever you laughed at a corny joke Hinata made. He hoped that his legs wouldn't get wobbly whenever he hears the mere sound of your voice. He hoped things would just go back to normal. But just hoping wouldn't work.

Tsukishima Kei has undoubtedly fallen in love with you.

And he's realized that when he overheard a conversation between you and a male classmate;

"Hey [Y/N]."

You stop erasing on the chalkboard and turn to face him properly. You dust off the chalk dust on your skirt and blouse and reply, "What's up?"

"I was wondering... Could we, you know, meet- uh, meet behind the school later? Before your club activities, of course..." He was clearly blushing, everyone could see that, he was fidgety, and he stuttered a bunch of times. Anyone could already tell where that was going. Except you.

"Oh, of course!" You smile innocently at him, as he smiles back widely. He goes back to his group of friends with a very victorious look you were unable to see. As you turn around, you are met with a pair of familiar pair of eyes, staring you down as if you did something unbelievable.

"[Y/N], what was that about?"

"I don't know, he probably needed help with something. Maybe homework. But he could've just asked me right here, it's not like I would judge him for asking for help. Maybe he's just shy, who knows?"

Yamaguchi face palms at your response, you're even more confused. The green haired boy looks at you in disbelief, and sighs in frustration, "You know what, I'll leave that to you to find out."

Yamaguchi did say he'll leave it to you to find out, but he needed to know how things would turn out. So he dragged Tsukishima along with him, who silently agrees to following you behind the school, despite you telling them that Daichi or Coach Ukai might get mad at them for being late. Yamaguchi, bless his soul, told the two of you that he would take responsibility and would take any punishment that went along with it.

The two boys hid behind the corner of the building, listening closely to your conversation with your classmate.

"Nakamura-kun, why'd you ask to meet me here?" You ask him, clearly not understanding the atmosphere that was around the both of you. Anyone who would catch you there would understand what was happening, but unfortunately, you just couldn't predict what was going to happen.

He stood there for quite a bit, fidgeting, and avoiding eye contact with you. His face seemed all red and you began to worry if he was getting feverish from all this. You take a step forward and he immediately freezes up from you getting close to him.

"Nakamura-kun."

"Y-Yes?!"

"Are you feeling ill? You look red. Maybe you should go to the clinic."

He shakes his head repetitively, saying he wasn't ill and that he really had something to tell you. You nod and wait for him to say it, as you didn't want to make him uncomfortable enough than he already was.

"I... I really like you, [Y/N]!"

"Oh? I like you too, Nakamura-kun."

Yamaguchi face palms. Tsukishima stifles a laugh.

"Really? Then, will you go out with me?"

"Go out? Right now? But I still have club activities." You tilt your head in confusion as he fumbles to find the right words.

"No! Not right now! Maybe on Saturday! Yeah, does that sound good?"

"Oh, perfect, I'm free that day. So which subject are you having trouble on? If it's Math, I can't really help you with that."

Yamaguchi is currently trying to stop Tsukishima and himself from laughing out loud.

"What?" He looks at you, his life draining out of him.

"We're talking about homework, right? Oh! Did I get it wrong? Did you need help with another thing?"

"[Y/N], no. I meant... I meant like go out on a date! Like a romantic date!"

You squint your eyes at him as you process the words in your head. One by one, the cogs in your slow brain finally start moving, and you finally get what he's trying to say.

"Oh, like those dates you see in the movies? I'm sorry, Nakamura-kun, I'm just not the person you should be liking, there are a lot more girls there that will surely make you happy. I'll just make you frustrated, I'm sorry. I really am." You bowed at him politely but he assures you that he doesn't need you to apologize, he just wanted a proper answer from you.

Hearing you say that made Tsukishima's heart drop. You were already aware that you'd make people frustrated with you, and he didn't want you to think that way. He felt a strong desire to change that, but you guys were just friends, he doesn't have a right to change anything about you, he doesn't even have the chance to.

You turn around to see Yamaguchi snickering like a kid and Tsukishima just looking at him with his signature annoyed look. You laugh and them and begin dragging them to the gym, where you were met with an annoyed coach, a concerned Daichi, and very curious players.

Despite having rejected that boy, there were still other people from other classes who tried to woo you with their pick-up lines, but you never really got them, so you just laughed and nodded in hopes of them not getting hurt by you not being able to comprehend any deeper meaning to what they say.

"Does your hand feel heavy, [Y/N]-san?"

"No? I don't think it's possible for a hand to feel heavy?"

"Nevermind."

You tried your best to understand, you really did. You just wanted to keep up with their pick-up lines, but you just couldn't do it. You've never had that kind of experience, so it was hard to understand what they were trying to say.

But without realizing it yourself, you were also beginning to get interested in a certain tall blond classmate. You quickly dismissed these reactions as something everyone can experience, you weren't the only one, of course. Everyone feels this way around Tsukishima. Right? Right?

"[Y/N], I can very much confirm that not everyone feels that way towards Tsukki."

Oh.

"So, your legs don't get wobbly and your heart doesn't beat faster around Tsukishima?"

Yamaguchi laughs and you feel yourself feeling embarrassed as he does so. You give him a light punch on his arm, since you can't reach his head, and cross your arms, a pout present on your face.

"[Y/N], I'm not in love with Tsukki."

In love? Is that what it is?

"I can't be in love. I don't even understand what love is enough to actually feel it." You say, trying to convince yourself more than you're trying to convince Yamaguchi, who only shrugs at your response.

"If you say so, [Y/N]."

The next few days were weird.

For some godforsaken reason, Yamaguchi had convinced Tsukishima to at least flirt with you a little bit, having learned that the blond was hopelessly in love with you, even though the taller blond told the other that you'll have the same reaction as you did with those other guys that tried to do a pick-up line on you.

The first time he tried to flirt, which was a pick-up line about a highlighter and brightening up his world, it turned into you telling him a story about how you accidentally drank water with highlighter ink thinking it was some kind of juice. He was actually immersed in the story sometimes, teasing you about how you couldn't recognize the color of the highlighter.

The second time he tried to flirt, where Yamaguchi would "accidentally" shove you into Tsukishima, he pushed you too hard and ended with you sitting on top of a very uncomfortable and potentially hurt blond.

The third time he tried to flirt, where he intended on staying close to you a lot, like sitting next to you during study sessions, walking next to you during the walk to the gym, just staying close to you in general, you didn't at all notice because you just thought it was normal for friends to do that, all the while trying to ignore your loudly beating heart.

The fourth and final time he flirted with you, was when you finally confessed to him.

Tsukishima is an observant person, so he's probably noticed your mannerisms around him by now. How your tone of voice changes when you talk to him, and how easilt flustered you get when you talk to him. He thought he had a chance, and he was right.

"I don't really like talking about feelings that much but Yamaguchi told me to tell you everything that I'm feeling. So, here goes nothing, I guess."

You take a deep breath and you suddenly feel as if the ground was shaking. You're terrified, but you have to do this. You've already committed to this. There's no turning back.

"Tsukishima, whenever I look at you, I feel really happy. Your voice makes me feel like I'm on the comfiest pillow in the world. Whenever you do that really cute smirk when you tease Hinata or Kageyama, it makes me laugh a lot. You're weird."

"Excuse me?"

"Shut up, I'm not done yet."

You inhale once more.

"You're really mean to Hinata and Kageyama, and you're also unintentionally mean to a lot of our classmates, but I like that about you. Whenever you offer to help me with Math, I kind of feel sad because I'm supposed to be the one doing all the helping!"

"You don't always have to help-"

"Let me finish! You're actually really nice, you know? I saw you playing with a stray cat the other day and giving it food and it made my heart do flips! You looked really cute. I don't know how to express myself properly, and when I try to, it's word vomit. I want to learn and try to be better for you, I want to know what to do with this slow brain of mine, and I really really want to do all those romantic stuff with you."

You're in the verge of crying, but you quickly wipe away any evidence of you crying.

"I... I think I like you, Tsukishima."

He doesn't say anything and you feel embarrassment creeping up behind you. The air is suffocating and you want to run away, but you legs are stuck to the ground. You feel ashamed in the other's presence, wanting to dig a grave and rot in it.

Then, you feel big arms wrap around your smaller frame, pulling you close to his chest, as he buries his face on your shoulder. He only hugged you for a while, as he isn't that type to prolong skinship.

You clear your throat and break the short silence between the two of you, "I've been meaning to ask. Did you flirt with me earlier?"

"Have been for the past week, but thanks for noticing." He replies almost immediately as you just stand there in shock.

"Oh."

"You're unbearable, [Y/N]."

You look up at him and laugh, punching his chest lightly.

"But you love me."

"Yes, yes I do."

this is my first haikyuu character x reader ficlet so i hope you at least like it a little bit hahahah

[sasserenitysykingcollector]

Moon Child :Namjin: Chapter One

A/N hello! im going to start posting my fanfictions here! a lot of them were written a year or so ago so they are short and maybe a bit confusing! but im planning to start working on them! please stick around!

Chapter one:

Chapter word count: 1596

It was a rather cloudy day in central Seoul, the rising sun covered by a thin layer of grey clouds that foreshadowed rain. But for the students of the most prestigious college in the country, life continued on as normal. The clock tower rang out eight times, echoing off the many buildings that comprised the campus of Seoul National University. Slowly, the walkways and roads came to life. Students walking to breakfast with friends, teachers making their way to class to prepare for the day, and café workers opening the doors for the breakfast rush.

One café, in particular, was already full of customers, most of whom were women wanting to see the attractive co-owner of the establishment. Kim Seokjin, A fine arts and literature student at the university, often dreaded all the attention he received from the ogling guests. But he smiled and greeted each one the same, “Good morning miss, what may I make for you?” sometimes the customers would slide him a napkin with the money that had their name and phone number, to which he smiled politely and threw away once they walked away.

His male classmates called him the “Woman Magnet” to which he smiled, even though he knew he was the last person who should attract women. When he was fifteen, he had the biggest crush on his classmate Yoongi, it was a defining moment in his life. He had never felt any kind of attraction to women, sure some were cute, but he never thought about them as a potential partner. He wanted to tell his parents but could never bring himself to do it before he left for college. So whenever his mother calls asking about his love life, he always responds with “I’m in a committed relationship” and he never elaborates.

Luckily, his Fine arts class is mostly men, so he doesn’t have to worry about turning down women then, but it’s a double-edged sword. Some of the men in his class are attractive, and Seokjin often catches himself staring, mentally scolding himself every time. Being openly gay in Korea is risky, while there are no laws against it. The idea of loving the same-sex had only started to spread a few years ago. And Seokjin being a respected student at his college had decided to keep his sexual preference to himself.

The library became his safe place, specifically the mythological section. Mostly because no one ever goes there. But he had grown attached to the books and their contents. He liked to get lost in the worlds the books built for the reader. Sometimes, he would be there for hours at a time. Once he had to be told by the librarian that he had to leave because it was time to close.

His favorite book to read was called “Guardian of the moon children” it depicted a being who had no set species. It came in many forms, to young children it often appeared as a white or grey dog who guided them to eternal rest. When as for adults it appeared as a youthful young man who was described as having a deep but soft voice and soft skin. Not only did the being guide human souls to eternal rest, but it also was seen during the birth of someone who would do important things in their life. While Seokjin knew this was just fiction, he wanted it to be true.

At the end of his morning shift, Seokjin would head back to his apartment to shower and change his clothes. After which he would prepare a clean uniform for work and put it in his bag, before sitting at his desk for an hour to study before he had class. He only had four hours’ worth of classes a day, except for Fridays when he had six. So he always finished right before lunch. He would rush back to the café and change into his uniform before eating a quick snack. Normally, he would have ten to fifteen minutes to relax before the lunch rush began. Much like in the morning, women would stare and attempt to hit on Seokjin. It was something he never looked forward to. Part of him thought that if people knew why he worked three shifts a day, they would feel much differently about him. Seokjin had a loan to pay off, a hefty one at that. He had taken the loan out when he moved to attend the university. He had to pay for a place to sleep and the fees that were a result of schooling. At the rate he was making money, it would still be more than two years before he would have the loan completely paid off.

Something Seokjin s parents had told him since he was young was the reason he worked so hard, “if you do something, take responsibility. No matter how big or small the consequences are, never lie about something you did” those words were engraved on his mind, always haunting him, a reminder that the debt will never go away unless paid off. But he accepted it. After the lunch rush. He would make his way home. Working on the pile of homework he was assigned from the day’s classes. If he was able to finish before six, he would go to the library and read before his dinner shift. This was the way he lived.

//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\

“Morning Seokjin, did you have another late night?”

Seokjin bowed slightly out of habit to the café owner, Minseok. Quickly standing straight, Minseok had told Seokjin to treat him as a friend, meaning he should call him by his name and not treat him as he normally would someone older than him.

“Yah!” Minseok exclaimed in exasperation, “I told you not to bow!” Seokjin smiled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. Making his way behind the counter, Seokjin grabs his apron, tying in with ease. “Do you want me to open today?” he asked. “Go ahead” Minseok replied.

As usual, a line of people had already formed outside the door following Seokjin's arrival to the café. He smiled and waved politely before flipping the switch that then lit up a “yes! We are open!” sign.

As the line slowly shrunk and the smell of coffee and fresh pastries faded from the display that hosted an array of freshly baked goods, a deep voice greeted Seokjin

“Good morning sir” Seokjin squeaked out, surprised that he was able to keep his voice steady, albeit slightly higher pitched. “What can I get for you?”

“Ah, I’m new to this area but I saw the long line so I assumed it must be worth the wait, and I can assure you is was.” The man responded looking Seokjin over with his eyes, before meeting them directly.

Seokjin stared for longer than he probably should have, the man's eyes had stars in them, literal stars that floated and shone throughout his pupils, small specks that hypnotized him.

The clearing of a throat snapped him out of his trance, “s-sorry!” he apologize slightly louder than he needed to, causing a few heads to turn in his direction. “W-we are fairly well known for our crumble scones” he spoke nervously, gesturing to the half empty bake-case. “We have a f-few left”

“How perfect, I just so happen to love scones” the man replied running his fingers back through his hair. “And I’ll also have a (joon coffee) with that scone” Seokjin nodded and put the order into the register. Silently, Seokjin hoped the man would pay with his card so he could get his name.

“That will be 7100 Won please” When he looked up he spotted the exact amount in cash on the counter as the man tucked his wallet back into the inside pocket on his suit jacket. “Can I have a name for the order?” He asked. Even Though normally the café went off a number system he thought he would ask.

The man paused in thought “φεγγάρι” (Pronounced fen-gar-e) Seokjin jotted down the name, quickly realizing the name was the Greek word for Moon. He had taken Greek for his language the year before. Though, he never thought it would come in handy.

“You have a Greek name?” Jin asked as he sat the cup to his side and went to get the scone from the display case. “You know Greek?” the man asked. “Uh, y-yeah” Jin said shyly. His cheeks going red when he looked up only to realize that the eyes of the customer were glued onto his own.

“Oh!” Jin exclaimed as he stumbled and dropped the scone that slid on the floor.

Gasps filled the café as the man had caught Jin from falling, “w-wait how?? You were- now you're here?!” he spoke to himself as the man helped him stand up. “I'm going to have to cancel my order for now” he said as he walked towards the entrance, Jin stood in shock along with the other people in line.

Whispers continued throughout the day as Seokjin apologized and cleaned up the mess, he ended up dropping more drinks throughout the day as his mind was trying to deduce how the man made it to his side of the counter when the door to the back was locked, he couldn't remember if he saw the man jump the counter, but that would be impossible. Not a thing was out of place.

Seokjin had one thing in mind all day long, “where can I meet him again”

A/N: Hope you liked it! ill try and update regularly!

[roseelise]

“You are a living work of art, Jughead Jones.” J.J  (part 2)

Reposting all my writings from @r0s3mm, my main blog, it is not stolen or plagiarized. All my works on my masterlist are main unless stated otherwise. 

Hello! Welcome to 2-h, the back up account of @r0s3mm, I’ll be posting my works on here too until (hopefully) my blog gets restored and if not this will become my main blog. 

Pairing:Jughead Jones x reader 

Word Count: 2265

Author’s note/warnings: language, kissing? 

*********************************

“Would I be naked ?” “No, of course not, I want you to feel comfortable. You’ll probably be just shirtless.” I said hope bubbling inside of me. “Who’s gonna be there ?” “Us. Only you and I. I swear.” “Alright I’ll do it. But you owe me.” He said before letting himself fall on my bed.

“Jug ! Juggie !” I called for him in the school’s hallway.

“Hey.” He turned around and saw the way I was dressed. “So,-” “What the hell happened to you ?” He asked as he saw that I was wearing a baby blue pyjama pants and a yellow flannel. “Yeah, hum, I’ve been up all night to put up some sketches before we do the shoot.” I talked really fast. “What are you running on to talk like that ?” He let out a low chuckle. “A few cups of black coffee.” I said as the bell rung. “But you don’t even like coffee.” “I know. Anyway Ms.Evans, that’s my art teacher, gave us two other weeks to do it because she wants multiple shots for each student.” “How many do YOU want ?” He smiled at me knowingly. “What’s that supposed to mean ?” I asked as I hurried my already late self to my locker. Jughead hot on my trail. “I know you, if your teacher wants three shots, you’ll do ten so that after you’ll be able to choose three of them and the rest you’ll put it in the album you keep on you computer.” He glanced down at my body and shook his head.

As I rolled my eyes, we entered the class with B and V.

When we all arrived at my house after school, Archie and Veronica placed themselves on the love seat, Betty and I went in the kitchen for glasses of water while Jug looked in my fridge for some kind of heavy snack.

“Ok guys so, friday night ! What do we do ?” I asked my two best friends.

They shrugged and we joined Archie and Veronica in the living room, who were in a full make out session.

“Come on !” Jughead sighed. “You guys are unbelievable.” Betty mumbled.

Seeing that neither of them moved I sat next to them and pulled Ronnie away from the redhead and made her sit on me.

“You won’t move anymore.”

We were three in the love seat Betty was laying on the three seat couch, almost sleeping and Jughead was sitting on the smallest couch that would normally fit only one human being.

“I wanna watch a movie. What should we watch ?” Ronnie said standing up. “Hum.. So- (y\n) ? Where are all of your movies ?” “There ..?! Why ?” “Because there’s only old stuff.” “Yeah, because that’s what I watch. Just put Pulp Fiction on and it’ll be good.” “I don’t get you guys ..” She sighed standing up and coming to sit with Arch and I. “What ?” “Jug and you. You guys have that obsession with old movies.” “They’re great.” We both said at the same time, looked at each other and it made me blush a bit.

Half an hour after we started the movie, Arch and Ronnie were taking a lot of place on the love seat and Betty was completely asleep on the couch. I took a heavy blanket and sat on the floor, my back against Betty’s couch.

“Tss” I heard to my left.

I looked up and Jug was frowing at me.

“What ?” I asked in a whisper. “What are you doing on the floor ?” He asked in the same tone. “There’s no place.” “Come sit with me.”He patted is lap. “What no, you’ve got just enough room for yourself.” “I don’t care come on “Jughead I said no. I’m ok here.”  

After another twenty minutes my butt started to feel numb, so I stood up and walked to my best friend who had placed himself so I could sit on his lap, his arms finding their place around my wait resting on my lap.

“Jug what time is it ?” “Barely 5:45.” He whispered.

I looked at our friends, Betty was still sound asleep on our right, Archie and Veronica were talking quietly.

“We’re the only ones listening.” I noticed as I turned to look at him.

He turned at the same time and our noses would have brushed together if one of us moved.

“Yeah.” He breathed out.

Our heads were still turned toward each other. Like in some sort of trance we couldn’t get out of.

“I’m- i’m quite hungry right now, uhm, would you like something ?” I asked him as his eyes went from my (y\e\c) eyes to my lips. “I’- i’m good. Thanks.” He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

I walked to the kitchen and drank a glass of water.

“We saw that.” Veronica said. “Saw what ?” “That almost kiss between you and Jughead. Archie and I saw it.” “That was nothing.” “Yeah sure. I haven’t seen someone glance at someone else’s lips so many times.” She winked at me when Betty’s sleppy body got in the kitchen. “I think the boys are plotting against us.” “Why ?” I asked. “When I woke up, you guys weren’t there and Arch was talking to Jug with a smug look on his face and when I stood up they stopped.” “Do you know what they were talking about ?” V asked B. “Heard your name, why ?” Betty pointed to me. “Because our little (y\n) had a moment a few minutes ago.” “WHAT ?” She shrieked. “Shut up jesus and Ronnie it wasn’t a moment.” “Yeah sure. You guys were almost eyes fucking with your bottom lip bitten by your teeth and his eyes looking more at your lips than me when I look at Louboutins.” “Oh my god really ? You guys had a momen-” I threw her a piece of bread when the boys came in.

“What are you girls talking about ?” Archie asked looking at his raven haired girlfriend. “N-nothing that concerns you.” I said not bothering to look at Jughead. “What about Jug. Does it concern him ?” “W-what ? No ! It’s none of your business what we were talking about.” I said turning my body towards the fridge.

From an outsider point of view the five teenagers would be living a whole other story.

He’d see a red head and a raven headed couple trying to break two of their best friends, they would see a blonde girl, an amused look on her face along with one of pure concern for her (y\h\c) friend, talking about her. The outsider would look at the teenager and think that she was being scolded by her parents. She wouldn’t look up to the raven haired boy, nor would she muttered more than a few words.

But then, he would see the infamous raven haired boy, who couldn’t take his eyes off of his best friend. He’d look at her like she was the most beautiful person in the whole world and she was, to him. Because he knew her inside and out. Jughead never really thought about her that way, he always knew he liked the girl, that he had a crush on her, but when, a few minutes ago, he was so close to her. He knew that he loved her and that he had been gone for quite a while.

It was around dinner time, when everyone was gone except her model for the night,  that she started to draw ideas for him to do later that night.

“You know you’ll have to talk to me, sometimes, right ?” Jughead asked from his sitting position on her bed. “I know.” She muttered still not looking at him.

Her whole body stiffened when she felt his warmth on her back.

“What are you doing, Jug ?” She breathed out. “Glad you still remember my name.” He chuckled, which made her chuckled too. “You’re not funny.” She said as her whole body relaxed at the familiarity of their exchange. “I am, you know it and you love it.” “Why so confident ?” She asked him as she turned to face him, but was surprised when she saw that he was at the same heigh as her.

She took back her pencils and paper and walked away from him as she sat on her bed.

“Ok so I thought we could accentuate the features on your abdomen, your jaw and your cheekbones.” She said, voice low, sketching over a poorly done portrait of the man. “You’re not gonna put make up on me are you ?” “I don’t really have make up, Jug. I’ll use body paint with warm tones a little bit darker than your skin color. Then I’ll just put colors all over and take some shots at certain steps so it creates a bit of diversity.”

He nodded then sighed before taking another bite of the now cold pizza on the dresser. He helped her set up her photography equipment, such as the lights and the different lenses.

“Can I- Jug, can I abuse of the opportunity you’re giving me this week end and- “ “What do you want me to do, (y\n) ?” “I want you to, full on model for me. Like the big actors do.” She asked searching his face for any denial.

He knew he couldn’t exactly tell her no. He wasn’t able to do it.

“Inspired by some of the James Dean’s photo I saw the other day.” She informed him. “James Dean ? Have you seen the guy ?” “Yes, in fact I did.” “And you think -” “Jug, listen to me and if you start reciting me the “I’m a weirdo” speech I swear on my own head that I’ll burn that beanie down to ashes. You are one of the most beautiful person I’ve had the chance to see in my whole freaking life and I don’t know how you still don’t see that.”

She said before going to her closet and getting out clothing of leather, dark outfits and all sorts of accessories and clothes.

“Is that a cigarette ?” “Yes, but you won’t light it. It’s just for the aesthetics.”

Five hours later the traits were accentuated, shirts have been on and off and lights have been adjusted. She was finally done and told him that if she had to make some touch ups, she’ll text him.

“Ok, so what do you wanna do ?” She asked him as he got out of the ensuite bathroom.

She raised her head from the editing program on her laptop to see Jughead shirtless, even though she had seen him without a shirt all night long it was different because she was in a work mode, but now. He was ruffling his dark hair with a towel and was dressed with a flannel pajama pants that started to get lower on his hips.

He sat on the bed in front of her and looked at her, his eyes observing every single detail of her face. He leaned in and searched her eyes for any non-verbal refusal from her. When he saw she was too focused on his lips he finally connected them together.

His lips, surprisingly soft, had this subtle taste of the sugary juice he drank a few minutes before his shower, her nose was filled with the scent of her shower gel he used. It wasn’t one of those Hollywood kisses where theres was big fireworks and where their hearts were beating hard and fast. They both knew it was the right time and place for this closed lips kiss. A few seconds after, they pulled apart and smiled softly at each other. They were content with what happened and knew to never talk about it.

“Blonde.” She whispered. “What ?” “Blonde would look good on you. It would fit your eyes.” She smiled at him.

The week that passed was complete hell, (y\n) hadn’t properly seen her friends except from the time when they were in school. Outside of those hours she would be at the studio, developping her photos and getting help with other minor projects. She also had tons of homework to do, Betty recently asked her to helped her on the Blue and Gold and be their official photographer. Between all of that she didn’t really have time to hang-out with her friends, also she was asleep by 8:30 so that really didn’t help. Saturday morning, (y\n) went out, seeing as this was her only moment of calm and walked, camera hung around her neck she snapped  sceneries that would look good on her already full bedroom wall.

“Hey there stranger.” She heard a voice say.

She turned around to see her three friends.

“Hi guys !” She greeted them with a smile. “So, you’re avoiding us now or what ?” Ronnie asked her. “No, no guys I swear. I’m sorry if you thought that-” She dropped the camera on her stomach. “(Y\N\N), it’s fine. We were just wondering what happened to you this week so.” “Yeah, sorry about that. Miss Evans liked Jug’s portrait so much she asked me to help other students and finish other projects and it was just crazy.” “Right, so what are you doing ?” “Abusing of the calm that reigns over Riverdale. Hey have you seen Jug ? Haven’t talked to him in a bit.” “Well we were heading to Pop’s actually. Wanna join ?” “Sure”

[desticuleconfessions]

hey desticule. so i have a supernatural-themed girl best friends story that i’ve wanted to share for a long time, especially because none of my irl friends ever rly understood the gravity of this experience w/o the context of spn. there’s a lot of fun parallels to stuff on the show, and its given me like years of brain rot and therapy lmao. so i really deeply appreciate this page as an outlet, thank you so much to the mods for making it. anyways uh. here goes. sorry it’s so long.

[tw: queer trauma, religious trauma, mental illness]

okay so. in 3rd grade i met this girl. we'll call her kate. we became best friends, as in our names were never spoken separately, we did (and won) every science fair together, she came skiing with my family every winter, i stayed with her family at their beach house in the summers, our younger siblings were friends, etc.

our birthdays were exactly 6 months apart (jan 22/jul 22) so we literally believed that we were celestially intertwined.

we wrote a novel together in 8th grade. her family is baptist, we attended massachusetts catholic schools. i would go to church with her family when i slept over, i held hands and said grace with them at meals. they are all tall and blonde and beautiful. classically angelic. i am south asian. i remember introducing her to harry potter in the 4th grade, her mother hadn't let her read em because it was "blasphemous", but i snuck her my copies and she would read them during lunch n recess and keep them in my locker. sorry this seems like a lot of unnecessary detail but it will be important later.

anyways we both got into doctor who and subsequentally supernatural (s1-8?9 at the time). i specifically remember getting her into supernatural. i also remember her instinctive disdain for destiel when i talked about it, i was showing her a meta or fanfic i think, and i talked her through undoing some of her christian household’s internalized homophobia (fully assuming we were both straight at this point) (we were fucking 12). we'd do the whole "bitch" "jerk" thing, i (the older one) affectionately called her 'sammy', her phone password was dean, mine was cas (and they still are). on my 13th birthday, she gifted me a samulet, which i still wear to this day. (additionally, she gave me a vonnegut 'so it goes' necklace one year) (thats not vital but) (goes to show the extent of my dean coding) (im also an aquarius lmao). im highly protective of her. i carry extra rubber bands on my wrist for her. i keep our money and phones in my jacket when the school takes us skiing. i sit next to her in the halls during lunch and organize her binder. on an 8th grade field trip, a boy made a gross comment at her and i broke his nose.

so we start high school together at coed catholic school nearby, i join debate, make a friend also into spn, she's bi. she asks kate out over text. kate's mom sees this. things turn.

now the rest of these things happened over the course of a couple months and due to my trauma memory loss, i have no idea how accurate some of these memories are so uh. don't hold me to them.

- her highly religious mother is not happy with this obviously. at some point, she brings a priest home and tries to have kate exorcised.

- at this point, we learn that kate is schizophrenic; it never seemed to create noticeable issues before bc her home life and childhood was a perfect happy dream (not an assumption, her words).

- she's still coming to school, sporadically now, i bring home her work, spend hours helping her.

- when she comes to school, she has seizures: sometimes we're fortunate enough that they happen in a class we have together. she freezes up and the teacher empties the room. i refuse to leave. i hold her hand and softly sing her favorite song and sometimes she comes back to me. sometimes she doesn’t and the bell rings and the teacher forces me to leave and let the nurse handle it.

- another time they announce a medical lockdown (to keep ppl out of the hallway if someone is being escorted to an ambulance) while im in catholicism class, i immediately know it’s her; she fainted in the pool during swim team practice.

- i stay awake for 6 days straight bc i read online that sleep deprivation induces some of the same symptoms as schizophrenia and if i could understand what she was going through, i could help her

- she shows up at my house w both of her parents 15 minutes before the winter ball, begs me to go bc her parents will only let her if i go. so i do. her mom lurks by the gym doors with the chaperones. during a slow song, kate and debate girl start to slow dance, i grab our friend’s hand, drag him in front of them so her mom can’t see and make out with him.

- i wanted to tell her to stop but i was too afraid i would lose us, that it would seem like i was homophobic or i was jealous, but i knew her in my marrow and it didn’t seem like she was in love or into the relationship, it was willful self destruction

- we talked in the last few years, she confirmed this.

- at some point, she says she’s sorry she didn’t tell me about the voices before.

- when we talk, she’s not her anymore, she doesn’t remember our inside jokes, our codes, i can feel her being slowly ripped away and apart in real time

- i have a vivid memory of arguing with her and her telling me im not real, that her mind made me up, while occasionally speaking to something? someone? else in the room. i hold her hand and point to the matching thin scars on our thumbs and try to convince her im real.

- she eventually drops out entirely, taken to some mental facility that im not entirely sure wasnt conversion therapy (it was definitely a religious facility) (and conversion therapy was not outlawed in new hampshire until 2019) and im not allowed to see her.

- every now and then i get cryptic distressing emails or texts from her.

- one in particular has the subject, “youandiwalkafragilelineihaveknownitallthistimebutineverthoughtidlivetoseeitbreak” which is the first line of the song ‘haunted’ by taylor swift (our shared favorite)(the summer after this happened we collectively decided we needed a new swift Our Song and chose ‘breathe’). the body of the email read “what the hell have i done”

- i pray for the first time in my life, every single day for a few months, in different languages, at temple with my parents, in the chapel at school

- on a club trip, i get a call at 2am from her, crying, asking me why i didn’t help her, why i didn’t stop her, that it was my job to protect her

here’s something i wrote about her, three yrs after:

I wasn’t careful enough and she caught quickly. She burned so close and so bright that for long afterwards, I could not see. And like that, she was gone. I walked into the chapel. Mea culpa. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.

[that last line is from the latin version for a catholic prayer called the act of contrition, it translates to “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault”]

in the fall, i hear she’s starting at a small baptist school almost an hour from her house. she is dating the principal’s son. the principal is also her pastor.

in my second year of college, i have a bad acid trip in a snowy park in december. i put my hands into the snow and when i look at them,i see blood. i see her body in the snow adorned like it’s a funeral

i still have dreams about her. sometimes i meet her in a grassy field, flying kites and i invite her to my wedding. in others, i catch a glimpse of her ponytail and catholic school skirt and chase her up eight flights of stairs and when i grab her hand, she turns to ash.

at some point in a separate argument w my parents in which they went through my texts and found out i wasn’t straight (amongst other things) my dad says:“i knew i should’ve listened to [kate’s dad] when he told me the things you would talk about. he knew what you are. and he took his daughter away from you.”

last christmas we met up and drove around together, she tells me that for years she thought i hated her for letting me down and for abandoning me, and i literally have the dean winchester in ‘sacrifice’ five stages of grief when sam says “you know what i confessed in there?” because i could not even begin to fathom that she ever blamed herself. it had always been my fault. i had failed to save her. i corrupted her and i failed to save her.

anyways she’s fine now, she’s okay, im okay, we’ve talked and unpacked and we’re alright. but uh. yeah. that happened. the parallels make me crazy. now they can make you crazy too.

‎

[sunflowerhae]

Linger

Episode • 1/8

Mobile Masterlist •

♡ ☾ ✐

Authors note• bro this is so long I’m so sorry I’m breaking it into parts for u (I HATE MY LIFE)

Warnings• mentions of death, language

Songs• something - the Beatles/ With love, Vincent - Murray Gold/ she’s so lovely - beach house

•Na Jaemin remembers the exact moment he first laid his eyes on Y/N Y/L/N.

•He was standing by his locker on the first day of sophomore year

•laughing with Jeno and Haechan about their new math teacher

•when she walked past him with two other girls, smiling and holding some books in her arms.

•Jaemin will tell anyone that listens that this was the first time he felt the air knocked out of his lungs

•He remembers thinking that she was the most beautiful girl that he had ever seen.

•He didn’t know who she was; he had never seen her before (he would remember) (sike he’s stupid)

•yet he knew that he would marry that girl.

•he was worried bc he didn’t know who tF she was, but don’t worry bc the second time he ever saw her was maybe 6 minutes later

•he walked into his 4th period Honors English 10 class, and she was talking to the teacher across the classroom, before moving and sitting down in the first empty seat she saw.

•Jaemin didn’t know what to do

•his new mystery dream girl was in his class.

•Should he sit next to her?

•Should he just ignore her and talk to her later?

•what is gonna wear?

•is he gonna cry?

•Jaemin didn’t have much time to decide

• a mere 10 second delay was all it took for three boys (also on the football team with Jaemin) to enter the room and wrap their arms around his shoulder

•ushering him over to an empty table in the back while showcasing their excitement about being in the same class together.

•Jaemin tried not to show his disappointment, and instead gave one of his usual, dazzling smiles (ya know the one!) while joking along with them

•trying to forget about the mystery girl (and the excitement he got when he learned her name during roll call)

•It was then that Na Jaemin’s and Y/N Y/L/N’s rolls in their story were set in stone.

•He would be the popular boy that everyone knew, but didn’t really know

•and you would be the quiet girl that only a few, special people knew of, but those people were your closest friends.

•And over the course of the next two years, it would stay that way. •Jaemin, secretly pining for you

•and you, thinking the beautiful boy as untouchable.

•That would, however, change, on one god forsaken, cloudy Friday.

•A Friday that would forever be ingrained in Jaemins memory as the day he sealed his lonely fate in the world

•and the day he lost his true soulmate

•before he even talked to her.

•If Haechan’s persistent moaning and groaning about school wasn’t enough

•the weather was gloomy and cloudy

•and anyone with eyes could tell that rain was to be expected. •Jaemin, secretly, didn’t mind.

•Although he would never share it, he loved the rain.

•What he did mind, was his friends continuous bitching.

•”Hyuck, shut up,” -Renjun, 2020

•I mean he wasn’t even paying attention to the group, too preoccupied w his sketch book, sometimes glancing up at a girl that sat across the school yard, before looking back down at his sketch book (spoilers for something I’m writing??? Hehe you’ll never know hehe)

•all Jeno did was MenTion that rainy weather meant football practice would be cancelled

•hyucks smile was BaCk

•Jaemin was not impressed

•okay the conversation went something like this

“Damn Na, why are you looking at me like how my mom looks when my report card come in?” -full sun

•You literally insulted football to my face.” -nana

•haechan let out a loud laugh

•at Jaemin’s expense

•“you don’t know the ups and downs of High-school football” -nojam and injunnie

•also at Jaemins expense

•due to an ongoing joke that Jaemin reminded their friend group of the teenage redhead from riverdale

•Na Jaemin was so upset, he didn’t even eat his fries.

•”I wouldn’t care so much if I wasn’t the fucking captain of the team, hyuck. I mean, I gotta hold you responsible to a certain degree, you’re the fucking quarterback!” -Na Jaemin

•someone bully him

•so as that is happening, 2/3 of the missing members of their group come in HOT

•I mean literally

•they’re breathing heavily and everything

•acting like they just ran a mf marathon

•jisung YEETS his bag in the table (covering Renjuns sketchbook, which annoyed the fuck out of the older boy, but really who cares)

•”Guys guys guys! You will never guess who we just saw in the library!” -Mochi

•”lemme give it a try; mark?” -bitch ass Chinese bitch (renjun)

•”No! We saw Mar- wait what? How’d you know?” -child prodigy Zhong Chenle

•“Uhh, maybe because he texted in the group chat that he was gonna be in the library?” -nojam makin a comeback

•”Okay okay, but - can I have a fry? - did hew shay who hedt be wif?”

•”Swallow your fucking food first, le.” -smart boy you guess who

(Whew are y’all getting sensory overload like I AM)

•“He said, did he say who he’d be with, though? No, he didn’t, but guess who WE saw him with,” -jisung bringing the T E A.

•no one answers

•Chenle and jisung give each other the “we’re friends w dumbasses” look

•“Y/n! He was sitting with y/n!”

•oh shit

•Everyone quickly turned their heads to Jaemin

•tell me why this boy was glaring at the table like it messed w his daughter

•Out of everyone ever, the only people who knew about Jaemins secret crush was the 5 boys sitting with Jaemin

•and the one sitting in the library with said secret crush.

•They didn’t even really know, they just knew that they once saw Jaemin slip something like a note into Y/n’s locker junior year

•and Jaemin made up a bullshit excuse that it was something for class that no one

•-not even Jeno, who always trusted his friends -

•believed.

•”why aren’t you mad”

•”you should be angry”

•literally all of the present boys were THROWING it on jaemin

•and naturally -

•he deflected

•”bro I’m not even upset, I don’t like y/n!”

•lmao K

•now at this point

•the boys thought they were helping

•really

•it was innocent they promise.

•really how were they to know what was going to happen

•so hyuck had JOKED and said that if Jaemin didn’t like u, he wouldn’t mind hurting u

•it was super harmless

•unTil

•some other popular ppl walked over RIGHT as Haechan said that

•and he was like oh fuck

•but silently

•bc Haechan knew what Jaemin was like

•if it was just their lil group still, Jaemin would have told hyuck to fuck off

•but Jaemin was terrified to lose his reputation

•he was an insecure boy

•he would have really done anything to keep his position as most popular boy in school

•so when one of his jock friends dares Jaemin to get you to date him until prom, get ur virginity the night before, and then ditch u at prom and tell you it was all a dare in front of everyone and that he never liked you

•well

•he stupidly agrees

•the dreamies agree with it

•only bc they don’t actually think Jaemin will last

•they think he’ll back out last minute and stay w you

•and that Jaemin will finally get u

•wishful thinking

•you were failing math

•it’s not that you were stupid, you weren’t

•you just R E A L L Y hated math

•and your mom was so upset w your grade

•my girl forced u to get a tutor

•good thing u knew mark

•he agreed to meet w you in the library Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s at lunch

•and Thursday’s if you needed it

•thank god 4 mark

•everything was going Super Fine™️

•up until you both look up when you hear squealing and the sound of someone smacking someone else

•and there’s jisung and Chenle,

•staring at you both

•and squealing

•and smacking each other on the arms

•before just plain running out

•”if I don’t go after them, they’ll tell all of our friends that we’re marrying each other, so i should go.” -Mark fucking Lee

•so you’re walking towards your locker to put all of your math work in it,

•and when you open it, a lil note falls out and flutters to the ground

•your smile: 3% -> 95%

•honestly you were kinda having a shitty day

•so you were so happy to see a note in your locker

•you had been receiving love notes since you were in sophomore year

•you don’t remember exactly when during the year

•but one day, they were just there

•you were excited to add another one to your box

•this one wasn’t big, it just said “Your Personality makes me want to be a better person! I hope you have a beautiful day, sunshine!”

•the rim of the paper had squiggly yellow lines, and the bottom had a poorly drawn sunshine, with a heart, like always

•you didn’t know who your secret admirer was

•but you wish you did

•u lowkey loved them

•you’re still smiling about it as you walk into your 7th period math class

•and the note was found at lunch, like an hour ago

•they make you so happy

•you silently sat down in your seat, and stared off into space with a dreamy look on your face

•and THATS how Jaemin knew you got his note

•you always had that look when you read his notes

•not that you knew it was from him

•it made him so happy

•even if you two had never talked before, he still freaking loved that he could make you smile

•Jaemin wasn’t happy for long

•he tried not to let you notice him staring at you in class,

•it was kinda hard, seeing as you two literally sat next to each other

•he couldn’t believe he had to break your heart

•he wanted to die lowkey lol

•but he had to do it

•not really, but really

•so he took a deep breath

•and opened his mouth

Continued here

{taglist}

@ivietea @fiveguysgoodbyeguys @comically-sleep-deprived @woosans-sann @mozartwasajungkookstan @littlefluu @cxcxlxlee @jaesluvklub @uyuzo @sweetie-yoongi7 @marklexleaf

[neocity-sarai]

Tattoos Together

❈ main concept: childhood best friends to lovers!

❈ pairing: mark lee x reader

❈ alerts: fluff, angsty angst, language, parties, mentions of drinking/smoking, mentions of the dreamies/other idols

❈ song reference: “tattoos together” by lauv

Vancouver has always been home. Since you were a child, Vancouver has been the place to be. Years of dinners in the city, biking around Granville island, and field trips to the Victoria gardens were the norm, just little secret spots you go to when you want a getaway- an escape from school, work, whatever it is you’re doing. At age 15, the Lees moved into the light blue house next to yours, the one with overgrown weeds in the yard. The one with the crooked, leaning mailbox in front of it- daisies painted on the rusty metal. A young girl, an artist, used to live there until she moved to Paris for her next exhibit- leaving the lonely, periwinkle house behind. That day the Lees moved in, your parents baked more muffins than usual (on purpose) so they could welcome our new neighbors by enticing them with food. The saying goes that a way to a person’s heart is through their stomach right? When dad is done packaging them up into a neat little box, he shoves it into your hands, “Y/N. I hear the Lees have a son about your age, go introduce yourself.”

Glaring at your father, you set the box that was tied with a small yellow ribbon on the table before saying, “I’m sure they can manage just fine without the muffins. Why do we have to go greet them now? they’re probably tired from moving.”

Mom gives you a stern look, her jaw tightening, “Don’t be silly, it’s a nice gesture. Come back before dinner is ready.”

Before you can even protest, your parents are shoving you out the door, still careful not to crush the perfectly wrapped box. Stepping over the stairs, you finally manage to make it to the door. Here goes nothing? The cherry red door swings open lightly after you linger my finger-tip on their doorbell, opening up to a pretty woman- her facial features defined of asian descent. Her dark hair is tied into a loose braid, her pink sweater tucked into the waistband of her culotte pants. The woman smiles at you, the corner of her lips upturned, “Ah- you must be Y/N. I just got a call from your mother.”

You try to hide the shaking of my hands, handing her the box of warmed muffins, “Uh-hi Mrs. Lee. My parents made some muffins to welcome you to the uh- neighborhood.”

The woman’s eyes crinkle until her eyes stretch thinly, “That’s so nice of you! Thank you, I’m sure Mark will enjoy these!”

You question,“Um- Mark?”

Her laugh is light and airy, “My son-Mark! Wait here, I’ll get him.”

You wave my hands at her, motioning my refusal, “No worries, I-I have to get going for dinner..”

She doesn’t wait to listen to my words before turning away from the door to scream Mark’s name. A few minutes later, a boy wearing a dress shirt over his black t-shirt comes stumbling down the stairs, a pair of black headphones hanging off his neck. His glasses rest on the bridge of his nose as his jet-black hair sits as a messy pile on his head. It looks like he hasn’t combed it in days. Mark shouts, “What? What did you need mom?”

Mark’s mother clutches him by the arm, shoving him into my view, “Meet y/n. She’s the daughter of the family next door.”

At first, no words come out of Mark’s mouth, his doe, boyish eyes as wide as saucers. Mark’s mother hits him in the back, causing him to cough abruptly, “Uh-yeah-my name’s Mark. W-what’s your name?”

Mark’s mother laughs again, leaning down to whisper into his ear, “I already said her name is y/n!”

Redness creeps up to Mark’s cheeks, his nose tinted a slight shade of rose as his dark irises bounce everywhere but at me.

You smile anyway, “It’s y/n.”

He gives me a small smile and a nod, eyes set on the ground. His mother speaks up again, “I’m really sorry y/n, my boy’s really shy around pretty girls…”

Mark lightly hits his mom in the shoulder, “Mom! Don’t say that! You’re embarrassing me!”

His face is as red as a tomato, glasses sliding farther down his nose only for him to push them up with the tip of his index finger. I laugh at their cute relationship, holding out a hand to Mark, “It’s nice to meet you. I hope we can be friends?”

Mark stutters once more, his eyes wild with energy, “I-i’d like that very much-h, yeah.”

After you tell Mrs. Lee goodbye, you give Mark a nod before turning back on to their driveway. The both of them stand in the doorway, Mark’s voice reprimanding his mom in the house behind me. Maybe it wasn’t so bad meeting the Lees after all. That night, you go to bed, replaying the vision of Mark’s embarrassed smile in your mind.

Age 18  (senior year)

The next several years breeze by. Ever since Mark Lee enrolled into Everlane high, he wasn’t as shy of a freshman compared to the day you met him all those summers ago. Over the years, he grew a lot taller, his face a lot mature, yet still adorably awkward at the same time. He became a smart student, one favored by many of the science teachers- causing his friends (Jeno and Jaemin) to roll their eyes playfully whenever Mrs. Scofski would praise Mark for solving a chemical equation on the white-board. Mark was a basketball captain along with his best friend Hyuck, the two always tag-teaming during the school’s games. Due to Renjun’s forcing, Mark joined the student body as a reputable member. He became a biology tutor for kids who had found science class difficult or just fooled around without paying attention (Jisung and Chenle being two of those kids). Quickly, Mark was showered as Everlane’s golden boy, your neighborhood’s ideal son. He was doted as smart, popular, and mr. perfect to all the girls in the area- no matter how much he always denied it when you told him so. After your first meeting, your parents would frequently eat together, alternating households. The Lees also force Mark to walk you home from school, in fears that you would be kidnapped by a random stranger. At least he was good for one of many things- telling you that he’d swing his basketball at any person who would come even close to you.

Most days after your homework sessions, you’d plan new adventures with each other. your week went like this: on Mondays, you went walking along the water, skipping rocks on the bay until the sun went down and could see the glitters of the city sky-line. In the spring, the sky would melt from a tangerine orange color into a musty silver. On Tuesdays, you’d get clam chowder at Phil’s on 2nd avenue, Mark always ruined his shirt ( you would forbid him to wear white on Tuesdays) and then you’d sit on this abandoned rooftop above an old department store. Up there, the air always felt cold so that you would have to blow your warm breaths into your hands, lean your heads on each other’s shoulders as Mark let out his high-pitched laughs. On Wednesdays, it was maple waffles before school in Gas town, the steaming clock chiming delicate music by the hour. Thursdays were meant for taking stupid photos, listening to dusty mixtapes, and hanging out with the rest of your friends. Last Thursday, you would all go to the Capilano suspension bridge and sit on a treehouse’s edge- causing Hyuck to scream from the heights. Jaemin always quieted him down with a bone-crushing hug or a playful kiss, earning a look of disgust from Renjun. You always wanted gelato after that. On Fridays, all of you would stay in for a movie night at either Mark’s house or yours- Jeno punching Chenle to stop him from making fun of the ghosts in the horror movies you’ve been watching. It never works. Saturdays were like Mark’s public appearances at Everlane high’s party scene, one call and you all would be at someone’s house party. You’d never really enjoyed them though: too many people, too much dirty dancing, and the burning stench of vodka stung your nose. The only reason  you would stay is for Mark and the boys. Sundays, your family and Mark’s get together for either dinner or lunch- switching off every week. Your parents would even play a betting game to choose who gets to wash dishes, Mark groaning every time his family loses rock-paper-scissors. Spending time with the people you loved made the days go by faster as you never particularly had bad days in the extreme. Piles of homework and grumpy teachers didn’t hold a candle to what you’d get to do every day- if it meant spending time with Mark. When you go to bed each night, you would feel content- happy, even.

Monday

You still think back to the moment when the boys were eating lunch in the cafeteria, like you did everyday. Chenle was talking about how he’d earn himself detention because he was messing around with chlorine in chemistry in order to make Jisung laugh.

“You’re such an idiot, Chenle. That’s going on your record, you know?” Jaemin scoffs.

Holding his sandwich in one hand, Jeno sweeps his coffee-colored bangs out of his eyes, “What do you expect? it’s Chenle- it’s like he’s powered on candy all the time.”

Chenle slurps up his gummy worms in an exaggerated motion, “I’ve already been through 6 packs of these since this morning. I feel so sick.”

Narrowing his eyes, Hyuck rests his chin on the palm of his hand as he pouts his lips, “Poor baby, eat more and you’ll be blowing up the toilet in no time!”

Chenle squints his eyes at the blond-haired boy, tossing a gummy worm at him, “Hyuck! Stop it!”

Hyuck continues to laugh as he clutches his stomach, Jisung stealing the candy from Chenle’s fingers before stuffing it into his mouth. I pull Hyuck up from his side, “Hyuck, you’re going to fall, sit up!”

Due to his lack of breath, Hyuck stares into my eyes, his golden irises gleaming, “You’re here to catch me though.”

You push him back down, palming my hand onto his face, “Stop reading cheesy rom-com lines. It’s so not cute, cringey at that.” Before Hyuck can finish whining, we’re interrupted by Mark plopping his food tray on the table. Jaemin says, “Someone’s late. Where were you?”

Mark looks like he’s out of breath, heaving and panting as he cards his fingers through the crest of his raven hair. “You guys aren’t going to believe this but, I think Cassandra likes me.”

Jaemin raises a skeptical eyebrow, “You mean Cassandra as the cheerleader who got kicked off the team for drinking last year?”

Suddenly, you stop paying attention to the conversation anymore. All you feel is the weight of your heart sink, my limbs feeling heavier at your side. Hyuck looks at you, noticing your fallen expression before clutching your hand under the table, giving it a comforting squeeze. It seems like Jeno sees it too because he glances from you to Mark as Mark excitedly explains his story. “Yeah, I was just finishing up some tutoring with Roberto from last period and Cassandra gave me her number after that! Isn’t that sweet?”

Jaemin nods disinterestedly, “Yeah, sweet I guess.”

Among the group, you have only ever admitted your feelings for Mark to Hyuck because he cornered you about it one day. Yet, it seems like Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun have caught on from their pitied faces. Mark drones on about how “totally cool” and how athletic he thinks Cassandra is. The difference is you don’t play any sports and you don’t slap coats of makeup on your face every-day before school,  nothing like Cassandra. You shake your head at the ping in your heart- a small glimmer of hope that Mark would ever feel the same about you. By the time lunch is over, classes feel longer than usual. They drag on, your teachers’ words in one ear and out the other. You text Mark that you have to stay over for school so he can walk home without you- a blatant, utter lie. Instead, you opt to put my headphones in and take the long route home. Plopping on to the surface of my comforter, you hear the familiar ring of Mark’s text tone.

[2:55 P.M.] (Marcus Lee <3) Y/n? Did you get home okay?

[2:55] Yeah, I did. Thanks Mark.

[2:56] (Marcus Lee <3) Hey, are you okay? You seemed a bit down today? Like you know you can tell me anything right?

[2:56] Yeah. I know. I’m just a bit more tired than usual. Stayed up last night writing Mr. Gillion’s paper..

[2:57] (Marcus Lee <3) hahahah ewww. That doesn’t sound fun… Do you want to go into town and get churros later?

[2:58] I think I’ll pass today, I got some homework to finish. I hope you have a good day though :)

[3:00] (Marcus Lee <3] hahaha okay. I guess I’ll have to take my mom on a churro date then hahah. See you tomorrow! ;)

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to hang out with Mark. Still, you couldn’t forget about the way Mark’s eyes sparkled when he talked about Cassandra, the way his voice cracked from the excitement of talking about it. How can you expect him to know? To reciprocate? It’s not like you were dating, you have no right to be jealous of Cassandra- a pretty girl, someone who had football players falling at her feet. Even if you had told Mark the truth, what if he didn’t feel the same? It would make these awkward, not to mention with your friend group. You shouldn't.

Tuesday

In all honesty, you had forgotten about yesterday’s lunch conversation. That was until the reminder hits you like a slap to the face when you see Cassandra’s arms wrapped around Mark’s neck as he laughs into her shoulder. Renjun and you had been walking to art class, the crack in your heart widening by the second. They fit so well, the way Mark’s basketball jacket matches Cassandra’s cheerleading uniform, the way his teammates and her friends hang out together in a pack. Renjun whispers to you, “Are you okay?”

You nod at him, trying to conceal your emotions, “Just fine, let’s head to class.”

When you pass Cassandra and Mark along with their cluster of friends, Cassandra’s voice comes out in a squeaky tone, “Hey, y/n.” When you turn to look at the pair, you see Cassandra’s hand daintily resting on Mark’s stomach, his eyes wide as saucers when he realizes you and Renjun are in front of him. You hear Renjun mutter an ‘ugh’ after curtly waving to them. Mark leaves Cassandra’s grasp, motioning towards you both, “You guys going to art? I’ll walk with you-”

Before you can answer, Cassandra wraps her thin arms around Mark’s waist, “We have to go help Felix with the party stuff remember?”

Mark scratches the back of his neck before glancing back at her and you with Renjun, his mind in a state of conflict. To make it easier for him, you smile at him, “You go, looks like you’re busy.”

Walking faster, Renjun drags you by the arm as we breeze past the crowd of athletes and cheerleaders. Renjun rolls his eyes again, “I don’t get why he likes her so much, they haven’t even been friends for that long and you’re right-”

You cover a hand to his mouth, “Renjun, it’s okay. I’ve accepted it by now.” You try to convince yourself at the very least.

After art class is done, lunch time seems to come in a hurry. Everyone takes their usual seats, Hyuck on your right with Renjun on your left. Jeno, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung sit around you three in a circular formation. Jaemin speaks first, “So, what, are Mark and Cassandra dating now?”

Jeno shrugs his shoulders before stuffing a quarter of a cookie into his mouth, “Don’t know and don’t care.”

You say, “Looks like it, they were pretty intimate in the hallway this morning.”

Renjun and Hyuck make disapproving faces, Renjun quips, “I don’t know. I feel like this is happening so fast and he told me that he really-”

“Shut up!” Hyuck screams at Renjun, throwing a limp french fry at him.

“Ew, what the hell was that for?” Renjun’s eyebrows are furrowed with disgust, patting the fabric of his white denim jacket from any salt crumbs.

Hyuck’s eyes go wide  as he makes a zipping motion on his lips, his blond hair gleaming under the dim lights, “Don’t say it- she needs to hear it from him!”

Renjun shoots back, “But it’s so obvious, what difference does it make?”

“What are we talking about?” Chenle’s face contorts with confusion, Jisung looking at him for any hints.

Jaemin glares at the pair, “Shh, let’s just all move on.”

You say, “I’m with Chenle, what are we talking about?”

Hyuck places a firm hand on my shoulder, his honey blond hair casting shadows on his forehead, “Nothing, it’s not important.”

As you eat, you spot Mark walking over to all of you, his black backpack slinged over one shoulder before setting his food down. “Hey, guys. We can squeeze in two right?”

Hyuck looks at Mark, his eyes furrowing with bewilderment, “Two?”

“Hey guys!” Cassandra’s preppy figure pops out from behind Mark. She looks more done up than before: red lipstick, long platinum-streaked hair in a slicked pony-tail, and the tightest cheer-leading uniform she could fit herself into. She plops herself down in between Mark and Hyuck, taking off the container of her salad before looking around our table. I sense Renjun and Hyuck give me a look while the other boys continue to eat in silence.

“So what did you guys do today?” Mark asks. Jaemin gives him a short response while Jisung explains how the class pet mouse made it’s escape during second hour, earning a chuckle from Mark. You get an odd feeling in your stomach when Cassandra looks at Mark so lovingly at your lunch table. The boys’ dynamic seems almost disrupted every time Cassandra butts in to say that she doesn’t think Jeno’s jokes are funny. As lunch finishes up, the school bell reverberates through the cafeteria walls- a signal for the next class period.

The next class is statistics with Mr. Midas. Out of the group, Mark and Jaemin are the only ones in the same class as you  but it doesn’t help that they’re seated as farway as possible. On the bright side, you’re seated next to Chan, one of Mark’s basketball teammates. Over the course of the year, Chan has always been a kind deskmate by helping you when you’re confused with a problem or sharing his study guide with you. Sometimes you notice he scoots closer to explain a formula and asks you if you’re uncomfortable with his sudden closeness, to which to his relief, you always reply no. Chan is just as handsome as Mark, someone well regarded in the school. No one could resist his flirty charm, the way his chestnut hair curls to one side of his forehead and the way his hoodie falls past his waist a bit. You discover how Chan is really passionate about producing music and running your high school’s channel as a radio dj. When Chan smiles, it makes you happy to see how his eyes crinkle into crescent moons, and how his teeth gleam white when he smiles about the flower you drew him at the corner of his notes.

“Are you doing okay, y/n?”

You give a reassuring nod, “I’m doing okay Chan. Thanks for asking.”

He quirks up his brow, a scar slashing it at the end, “You don’t look okay though. Listen, if you don’t want talk about it, you’re all good, I just-”

Pausing him with the hold of your hand,  you continue, “if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk about it.”

He gives you affirmation, you say, “Have you ever felt unrequited love?”

Chan shakes his head no, leaning back in his chair, “Maybe when I was younger but not now? I’m truly sorry y/n. Whoever it is, anyone who doesn’t see how funny and beautiful you are doesn’t deserve you period.”

You hold your tongue for a bit due to the fact of Chan’s comment catching you off guard. Freezing, he realizes the bluntness of his words, “Oh man, you just said unrequited love and I biffed it right? I didn’t mean it that way-no, wait. You are funny and very pretty so, uh-yeah.”

Bursting into laughter, you put a hand to your mouth causing Cassandra and Mark to look at you from across the room. Soon enough, you tear your eyes away from the students staring at you to focus your attention on Chan. He’s laughing too, his voice full of brightness and mirth. You respond, a light cloud of pink floating your cheeks, the room feeling a bit warmer, “I really appreciate that Chan. Thank you for making me smile today.”

A smirk graces Chan’s face as he says, “Happy to do it, whenever you want really.”

Statistics goes by extremely quickly when you’re sitting next to Chan- it’s like he’s telling you a couple of jokes and then it’s over. As the bell rings, Chan nudges you with his elbow as he packs up his bag, “So, I uh-this friday, we’re having our championship game and this party after? I was wondering if you want to come?”

You hesitate, thinking you might have plans with Mark, yet you decide he would probably hang out with his girlfriend over you anyway.

“I’d love to come. On one condition.”

Chan raises his eyebrows, “And what’s that?”

“You have to win the game.”

Chan throws up his hands almost hitting you in the process, “Well, duh! I’m not going to let you down, I promise.”

Friday

For the past couple days, you haven't heard from Mark. No texts, no calls, and no plans out in the city. You were hurt that the boy you’d call your best friend would ignore you just because he got a new girlfriend, your years of friendship overlooked just like that. When Friday rolls around, you attend the Everlane versus Brisbane championship basketball game. You decide that you’re there to cheer on Chan, the boy who’s taller than the rest, his purple jersey hanging against his muscular frame. You spot Cassandra giving Mark a kiss on his cheek on the court, you have to look away at the sight. By the next hour or so, you’re surprised at how long Chenle, Jisung, and Jaemin have been screaming. Each of them held a poster for each Hyuck, Jeno, and Mark- their jersey numbers adorned with dollar store glitter and messy handwriting. When Mark makes a slam dunk in the basket, the crowd goes ear-deafeningly wild, cheering out Mark’s name like a repeated mantra. Shortly after, Hyuck makes an attempt to pass the basketball to Mark; the ball missing Mark’s hands before Chan dribbles it to their opponent’s basket. The cheerleaders dance to the thrum of the crowd screaming Chan’s name over Mark’s, causing Mark to grit his teeth with irritation. For a while, the back and forth of swaying bodies goes on until the Everlane team makes the last shot before the final countdown. When Jeno makes the last point, you’re certain you’ve lost your hearing by then. The cheers ring in the gym, causing the alarm to blare with victory. After everyone exits the gym, you see Mark, Chan, and Jeno being tossed into the air in a sea of fellow players and short-skirted girls as pompoms explode upwards. You decide to wait with Chenle, Jisung, and Jaemin in the empty parking lot, waiting for Renjun to pull his car around. Jeno and Hyuck jog to you all first, their basketball duffels hanging from their hands, bodies are drenched with sweat. Chenle says, “That’s some fine work out there gentleman if I do say so myself.” Hyuck does his signature handshake with Chenle, a reckless grin smeared across his face, “I knew we’d win. Brisbane can’t take down the undefeated.”

Jeno gives him a firm nod, slinging his arm around a pleased Jaemin. You smile at the boys, “Congratulations guys, you all killed it on the court.”

Hyuck and Jeno smash you in a sweaty hug, “Aw, thanks y/n. You did well cheering for us.”

You laugh, “Get off, you guys are sweaty!”

Before Hyuck can smear his sweat onto your shoulder playfully, a voice stops you in your tracks.

“Y/n!”

It’s Chan. A damp towel hangs off his neck, his nike headband wrapping his forehead under his bangs. “You ready to go?”

You shout, “Just give me a second!”

Hyuck and Jeno give you a knowing look, “Where are you going with Chan?”

You reply, “Oh, we’re just carpooling to the party at Felix’s house.”

Renjun asks, “Also, where’s Mark?”

Hyuck shakes his head in contempt, “He’s heading to the party with Cassandra.”

Jaemin mutters, “Of course he is.”

Of course he would. Mark is one of the captains on the team, why would he be excluded from the after-party? The ache in your heart pings again, you feel sick from the thought of Mark making out with Cassnadra at some gross party. You wouldn’t be able to handle the tears.  Though, Chan had invited you, not Mark- who he didn’t even mention it to you, the least you could do is be courteous. What kind of person gets invited to something and cancels so last minute?

You say, “You guys get to the party and I’ll meet you there, okay?”

Renjun’s eyes crease his concern, “You do know that Mark and Cassandra will be there though right?”

You nod, “Yes. But we won’t mind them, let’s just go have fun tonight.”

After parting, you jog over to Chan who’s tossing his duffel into the trunk of his silver Lexus, his hair damp from the game. He turns to you, grinning, “you ready?”

You smile at him, telling him yes before launching yourself into the passenger seat. Chan turns the ignition, his car interior smelling like cherries from the air freshener that hangs above his head. As Chan drives, the street lamps glow on the side of the road as the moon peeks between the rainy clouds. He rolls your window down, your skin shivering at the cold chill of the night. “So, there was something I wanted to ask you?”

Turning to him, you face the chestnut-haired boy, “You remember stats class a few days ago?”

You reply, “I do?”

“Mark was looking at you the whole time. When you guys hadn’t texted in several days, he asked me if you and I were a thing during practice.”

You quirk your brows up in surprise, “And what did you say?”

Chan smiles to himself, letting out a breathy chuckle, “I said no. But, I was definitely interested.”

You allow yourself to feel nice, to feel like Chan likes you for who you are around him. Chuckling at him, you flip your hair in a sassy manner, “Well, I’ll definitely keep that noted.”

When you arrive at the party, the small two-story house looks like a sight straight out of one of those coming of age movies. The small house is jam packed with people, some hanging out on the lawn as they sip their drinks as music shakes the walls. You spot Renjun’s car from the side of your eye, meaning that your friends had gotten there before you and Chan. Upon entering the house, it’s like a warzone within it. Some people are peacefully talking by the lounge area as they feast on snacks. Some are in the kitchen mixing a plethora of colorful drinks together while also playing a form of beer pong. Girls run up and down the stairs with their friends, some with boys trailing behind them with a trance in their eyes. Some are grinding on each other on the dance floor, sensual music thrumming at the source of the boombox.

The first thing you see are your friends sitting in the corner by the backyard door, Mark on the loveseat with Cassandra practically on his lap. You instinctively grab Chan’s hand so you don’t break down right there. He gives you a surprised glance, “y/n? What’s wrong?”

Instantly, you let go of his hand as you cast your eyes down towards the floor. When you don’t answer, he sees a view of your friends laughing along with Mark and Cassandra. You feel a large hand cover yours which causes you to look up at Chan, “It’s okay y/n. Just stick with me.”

You nod, leading him to the drink table in the kitchen. When he leans down to sniff a large bowl full of sour juices and cubes of fruit, his nose scrunches in disgust, “ugh, jungle juice.”

Out of random courage, you swipe an empty cup from the tower as you shove the metal ladle of jungle juice into it. Downing it despite Chan’s protest, you feel a surge of electricity light your lungs on fire as the beat of your heart quickens from the liquid courage. He laughs, keeping his hand on the small of your back, “You surely make reckless decisions when you’re bothered by something.”

You giggle back at him, “You drink something too, you’re a winner tonight after all.” Chan reaches from a glittery purple bowl that pops with bubbles, “a toast to that, y/n. A toast to that.”

before he downs the liquid in one go. You feel his body jolt from the energy too, a smirk plastered on his face, “Wanna go play a game with some of the boys? Only if you want to, we can talk upstairs too.”

Shaking your head in refusal, you hang on to Chan’s shoulder, “Let’s go have fun.”

Chan grabs your hand, his metal chain bracelet cool on your wrist as he leads you past your friends, Mark, and Cassandra before opening the backyard door. Mark moves Cassandra off his lap, her eyes as cold as ice before she angrily gets up to get another drink. The rest of your friends sit in their circle in awe, glancing down at Chan’s hand enclosed on top of yours. Coolly waving to them, you say, “I’m outside if you need me.” before you meet eyes with Mark- his lips pressed into a frown, his irises shot with hurt. You ignore the ache that grows on the wall of your heart. You tell yourself, Mark’s ignored you all this time because he doesn’t feel the same way and never will. After being outside on the patio for a while, you meet some of Chan’s radio-club friends as all of you play a game of sorry. For a moment, Mark and the others aren’t on your mind, just the fact that Chan is pulling you into an enthusiastic hug after winning a round. You turn to Chan, “Hey, I’ll be right back. I have to use the bathroom.”

Chan smiles at you before he presses a lingering kiss to the crown of his head, “Sure thing. I’ll be here.”

You’re not even surprised that Chan kisses you, whether or not it’s the alcohol, you don’t mind it. When you head back into the house, you feel an arm grab your wrist and spin you around. Your friends are still sitting where they had when you passed them except Mark is the one boring his eyes into yours as he grabs your shoulders, “We need to talk now.”

Before you can say no, he pulls you to the quieter part of the kitchen, you say with bitterness, “What do you want Mark? I have someone waiting for me.”

Left without any patience, Mark lets out a huff, “Are you and Chan together?”

You sigh, casting your glance at him, “Seriously? It’s none of your business. Second, it’s not like you told me that you were with Cassandra.”

Mark uses his hand to comb back his black hair, making it even more messy, “Y/n. That’s because we’re not together, it’s just complicated and I haven’t had the time to tell you why or how we-”

“Stop right there. You ignored me for days Mark! You never texted or called! What was I supposed to do? Pine after you when you’re chasing Cassandra around?”

Mark’s doe eyes flash with pain, his hand tightening around the sides of your arms, “No! That’s not it! I didn’t mean it that way, I’m just trying to figure out what to do..” You shove Mark off you, his hands sliding off your arms, “Well save it. I’m done with you playing around with my feelings!”

Mark calls after you, tears streaming down your face as you try to make your way to the bathroom without being stared at. It takes all three minutes of some Chris Brown song for you to stop heaving. You feel sick to your stomach, so much for a fun night. You text Chan to meet you outside in front of the house, avoiding the corner your friends were comforting Mark at. Chan finds you leaning against his car, “Oh my god, are you okay?”

Giving him the only smile you can muster, you explain, “Listen, I’m so sorry. You invited me to this party and I just-I’m here being a cry-baby and everything. I’m just going to walk home now. I’m sorry.”

Chan shakes his head in definite refusal, “Nonsense. I’m driving you home. I’m about done anyway.”

You ask hesitantly, “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

The night drive back to your neighborhood gives you peace of mind. Chan rolls all the windows down as soft music plays from his radio, slowing the bounce of your heartbeat. He’s got one hand on the wheel and one hand rested on yours by your knee, you feel comfortable with Chan. It’s the same feeling that flutters in your stomach when you’re close to Mark and right now, you hate the thought of the black-haired boy that consumes so many of your thoughts. Before Chan’s tires screech to a stop in front of your porch, he turns to you with concerned eyes, lips pressed into a pout. “Come here, y/n.”

You waste no time collapsing into the space on his wide chest, his hands stroking your hair down. Resting his chin on your head, you close your eyes to the rhythmic beat of Chan’s heart as the soft patter of the rain is enough to drift you to sleep. You pull away from his chest, looking up at the shadows in Chan’s eyes, his hair falling near his eye-lids while he glances at your lips before looking down to his lap. He says apologetically, “I’m so sorry. I’m not trying to take advantage of your feelings right now. I’m really not-”

You cut him off with your hand pressed to the curve of his cheek, “Can I kiss you?”

He doesn’t waste time to grip the back of your neck, kissing you harshly as he bites the bottom of your lip. You sigh into him, fisting the fabric of his jacket when he moves in even closer to twist a hair behind your ear. When you detach from him, you can’t control the burst of tears that shakes your body. The alcohol blurs the vision of Mark and Chan together as your mind throbs from the effect, leaving you dizzy. You apologize to Chan over and over again, wiping the tears that fall from your eyes. Instead, he kisses his lips to the side of your temple as he urges you to get some sleep. Like the gentleman he is, he walks you to the front door, draping his basketball jacket over your shoulders. Your home is dark- due to the fact that your parents are out of town on a business trip in Toronto so you just flop onto your bed in defeat. Mark’s ringtones shoot off from your phone, notifications of several apology texts and missed calls. Not wanting to check any of them, you toss your cell phone into the grey trash bin that sits by your desk. Going to sleep feels especially difficult when alcohol still surges through your veins and you can’t control the sobs that erupt from your throat. You hear Mark’s car pull up on his driveway, not wanting to see him whatsoever. On your bed, you almost feel him looking up at your window to check if you’re awake- for once, you’re glad it’s curtains are securely shut.

The next few weeks are pretty miserable besides the fact that you’re getting closer to Chan. You don’t acknowledge Mark’s presence anymore. By Hyuck and Jaemin, you’re told he comes by to the lunch table to check if you’re there. You still hang out with your friends separately rather than in your usual group- the web that connects you slowly falling apart. It’s difficult when you have art with Hyuck and Renjun, stats with Jaemin, and ceramics with Jisung, Chenle, and Jeno- as you try to take paths opposite of Mark at the same time. Later on, you explain everything that’s been going on between you and Mark to Chan. He takes it surprisingly well by comforting you and listening to your anger, how he’s willing to let you heal before you two start anything. How could Chan be so patient with you? He says it’s because he really likes you and would rather be there for you as a friend first. When you get home, your parents give you a lecture about starting things with Mark, how they want to have dinner with his family but can’t. Of course, they feel sorry once you explain to them what really happened.

Now, the weather outside seems a lot sunnier, yellow pollen from the peonies float in the air as you make your way out of the double doors. The time is nearing for spring break- a well needed barrier from Mark, from everything. Before you walk your way home, you’re stopped by Hyuck and Renjun. Renjun holds an envelope in his hands before giving it to Hyuck, both of them trapping you, “Y/n. We’ve been looking all over for you.”

You say, “I’m going home now, can we talk tomorrow?”

Hyuck narrows his eyes at me with contempt, “No, of course not. Just hear us out.”

Renjun speaks up too, “Do you have plans for spring break? I’m assuming you don’t because you mentioned a few weeks ago that you didn’t. We’ve got 8 tickets to Victoria island.”

You reply, “And.. your point is?”

Hyuck crosses his arms, rolling his eyes, “The point is to make up. Our group is in shambles because of all this lovesick drama. A trip is a perfect opportunity to mend things.”

Laughing, you cackle at his suggestion, “If you expect me to go then that’s hilarious. I’m not going.”

Hyuck throws up his hands in frustration. “How can you kick it if you don’t even know what will happen?”

Raising your eyebrows defiantly, “Do you remember what happened when Mark and I were in the same room? Hyuck, it’s not happening.”

Renjun grumbles, flicking the envelope in my face, “Fine! We won’t invite Mark then! We just want you to come with us and then we’ll see what happens from there okay?”

Hyuck socks Renjun in the shoulder with a fist before shouting, “How can we not ask Mark?”

In response, Renjun shoots a frigid glare at Hyuck as if he’s threatening him with his eyes,  “We’re just not going to ask him! Y/n, will you come?”

You pause for a moment as you stare back at the pair. You raise your voice to make yourself crystal clear, “I will only go if Mark doesn’t. Simple as that.”

Renjun bobs his head in agreement, “Deal. No Mark.”

When you walk away, you still hear Hyuck berating Renjun for his decision only to be shut up by some snarky comment that comes through Renjun’s lips. The sound of their voices falling away.

First day of spring break

By the time spring break begins, you find yourself standing in front of Renjun’s van with your suitcase packed full of your things. You’re greeted by Renjun, Hyuck, Jaemin, and Jeno first. Of course, Jisung and Chenle are seen scampering across the school parking lot with their duffel bags messily unzipped, some shirts hanging out of the top.

“Didn’t I tell you to pack the night before?” Renjun scoffs at the pair.

Chenle pokes his tongue at the older boy, wrapping his arm around Jisung’s broad shoulders. Jeno holds his hands up in the air before bellowing, “shot-gun!” straight into Hyuck’s ear- causing Hyuck to throw a whiny fit. Once our suitcases are in the back of Renjun’s car, he leans on the side of his van as if he’s waiting for something. Jaemin says, “Okay, isn’t that all? Why aren’t you closing it?”

Renjun has a wicked grin plastered all over his face, “Not everything and not certainly everyone.”

You all turn to face Mark, circles under his eyes, his hair unruly as if he hasn’t gotten sleep in 3 whole weeks. Shoot a menacing face at Renjun, you whisper at him, “You told me Mark wasn’t coming.”

Renjun gives you  an evil, sinister smile, “I crossed my fingers behind my back.”

Having the extreme urge to strangle Renjun on the spot, you ponder about Renjun’s extreme lengths to reach his goal of making up. Before you can walk away from the car, Hyuck drags your hand back to the door of the van, “Ah-ah- y/n. You’re not going anywhere.”

The whole car ride to the ferry is awkwardly silent due to the fact you’re mercilessly squished between Hyuck and Mark. Personal boundaries don’t exist in the car, your legs are practically on top of each other as Mark steals side glances at you from the corner. Getting to the dock port seemed less stressful than you’d imagine it to be. Renjun had parked his van at the base garage of the ferry before unloading everyone's belongings.

Just as easy as it was to get on to the boat, it was easy getting off too. You’d make your way down to Renjun’s car,  Renjun driving it down a ramp and into the pathway that opened into Victoria island. You have to admit to yourself, Victoria island looked even more gorgeous than you had remembered last time you came with your family. During springtime, all the beautiful flowers in Butchart gardens would bloom pinks and purples, the greenery would turn a lush, healthy evergreen, and the city would stay lit for the tourists. It was the perfect place to have a vacation, one with friends at that. Jaemin and Renjun booked a small cottage house for everyone to stay in, one straight out of a fairy tale storybook. The cottage ceiling looked like it was made with hay and lime-green vines, beams of cedar-wood reinforced the walls of the structure. It had a white picket fence that surrounded a small rose garden near the entrance; white lilies floating in an old, peeling fountain. Finally entering the house, you were amazed by the impeccable interior:various paintings of Victoria island, a kitchen that was big enough to seat 10, and bedrooms slacked with ivory/gold wallpaper. Like ants scattering into their units, the boys jumped on their beds that they ‘claimed’ while you and Mark stood in the middle of the hallway. Watching all of them make a clamorous reaction over who got the best room was like watching families seize their buttons during family feud. By observing them, you’ve come to realize that there were only 7 rooms instead of 8. Realizing this, you glance over at Mark who was in turn staring back at you before racing towards the end of the hall- flying to the surface of the bed. Both of you landed on it at the exact same time, faces extremely close together. Hastily, you sit up in an attempt to push Mark off the bed that you claimed first, “Mark Lee, get off my bed now!”

He incredulously stares back at you, “Your bed? This is mine!”

You exclaim, “You’re trying to take my bed now? I clearly jumped on it first!”

“No, you didn’t!”

Bickering back at forth, you and Mark don’t even realize the rest of the boys practically flailing in the doorway, Hyuck saying in a sing-songy voice, “Or.. you could shareee!”

In unison, you and Mark shout, “Hell no!”

You get up first, shoving a pillow at Mark, “Fine, you have it! I’ll room with Hyuck.”

Hyuck clicks his tongue, “Oh no you’re not, y/n. Nada. No bueno.”

Before you can argue with Hyuck or chase him out of the room for that matter, you hear Mark speak up from behind. His voice is shy and quiet, his face a shade of beet red, “You just take the bed. I’ll take the floor.”

You turn to face him as you’re about to reprimand him for such a stupid idea until you realize that it’s probably the best decision to make at the moment.

After dinner that night, everyone had settled into their respective rooms. You had changed into a hoodie and sweatpants after you had showered. You sat on your bed, texting Chan goodnight before shutting it off to charge on your nightstand. Mark had stumbled into your shared room with one pillow and a thin fabric cover-(hardly a blanket) before setting it down on the carpet. Seeing Mark in this state, it reminds you of the old days. The way that his headphones sat comfortably on his ears, his black hair matted with drops of water, and his toned frame covered with black pants and a black tee. The hollows of his cheeks make his face more prominent, his lips the color of a strawberry slice. In one swift motion, he wraps the thin cover around his body before turning on his side, “Good night, y/n.”

Unable to say anything, you shut off the lamp- casting darkness all around you. “Good night, Mark.”

You almost forget that Mark’s there in the room with you until you hear the tick of his teeth chattering and the breathy huffs from how cold it is. You sit up to take a look at his shaking figure, the thin material doing no justice as a blanket. You believe that the air bnb manager hadn’t put extra blankets or control instructions for the ac system as you had all looked for them earlier. Deciding to wrap one of the thicker blankets that’s draped over your legs, you almost trip towards Mark’s shuddering body before patting it against him. Before you turn to go back to your bed, you feel a hand curl around your fingers, Mark slightly opening his half-lidded eyes at you. “y/n?”

Pausing, you touch your hand to Mark’s cheek, “Mark, you’re freezing. You should have told me, this blanket cover isn’t any better than a piece of paper.”

Mark shifts his body closer to face you now, his hands still wrapped around yours, “i-i didn’t know.”

“Do you want more of my blankets? I’m kind of used to the cold.”

Mark says, “No, if I take them, you’ll catch a cold.”

“Mark, I’m fine, really.” You insist on letting you help him, the boy shivering from the icy temperature.

His eyes become stern, his muscles stiffening, “y/n, I said no!”

Pausing, retract your hand from Mark’s as the warmth slowly is replaced with cold air. You give him a gentle nod this time, “I-okay.” Mark sits up from his place, fingers running through his messy hair, an earbud still plugged into his left ear, “What I mean is, I don’t want you to get sick. It’d be my fault.”

Instead, you walk back to your spot on your bed, “Look, don’t take this the wrong way but, you can come warm up for a little. Just before you go back to sleep, I promise- I won’t touch you.”

In the dark, Mark’s eyes glint like swirling, black orbs as he nods at you, getting up to take a spot next to you on the bed. He leans back into the pillow by your head, the coolness of it feeling like a cold cloud. Sighing with content, he submerges his body under the warmth of the comforter, careful not to over step his boundaries with you. When Mark lies next to you, you can seem to shut your eyes. Instead, your heart beats out of your chest when you hear Mark whisper. “y/n?”

“Yes, Mark?”

He says with a heavy heart, “I miss us.”

Propping my elbow on your pillow, you turn to face him, “I miss you.”

You choke on your words, your head throbbing with dizziness when you realize what you had just admitted to Mark. You seem visibly gulp, his eyes tracing the crease where the flowery wallpaper meets the ceiling. His voice comes out shaky, “y/n..I-I like you.”

Mark’s earbud sings the words of a beautiful, familiar tune:

Said I never fall, i’d never fall and then I fell for you mhm

Back against the wall, against the wall, and against the wall, that’s how it felt with you mhm

When those words fall from Mark’s lips, all the oxygen from your lungs makes an exit and threatens to not come back in- you’re left stunned. Mark turns his face to you to see your reaction and you stare back at him, eyes widened. Before you have the chance to say anything, Mark presses his lips to yours, rising from the pillow as his nose knocks against yours lightly. You find yourself kissing him back, harder than when you kissed Chan the night of the party. The kiss is full of yearning, almost full of struggling sadness to trap the right feelings- Mark’s hand snakes a hand around your jaw in order to stabilize you. He keeps kissing you aggressively, his eyes squeezed shut in pleasure as his tongue swipes your bottom lip. You pull away first, fire thrumming in your lungs as you place your hand on his chest, “Mark, you have a girlfriend. We can’t.”

Mark shakes his head slightly, “I’m not dating Cassandra.”

You make a face at him, “What do you mean? Because if I’m a rebound, I don’t want to be.”

Mark chuckles, a smirk snaking on his swollen lips, “Trust me, you’re not a rebound. And, I meant what I said about liking you.”

“Mark, you can’t just tell me you like me and then kiss me like nothing’s happened. I saw you and Cassandra with my own eyes.”

Mark sighs before gazing back at you with his obsidian-colored eyes, his skin glowing from the moon that shines slightly through the window curtains, “I’ve liked you since the day you brought those muffins to my house. I thought you would never see me as more as a friend and I tried to use Cassandra to get over you. I never wanted to burden you if you didn't feel the same. Clearly, it didn’t work. Not even partially. I’m sorry.”

You press your forehead against Mark’s, pressing a lingering kiss to the shape of his lips as you use one hand to pull the hairs on Mark’s nape- causing him to groan before reciprocating.

You whisper to him, a beautiful sound to his ears, “Why are we so difficult? We’re such idiots.”

Placing your head on Mark’s chest, both of you collapse on to the bed, sleep washing over your minds. You hear Mark giggle before putting his right ear bud into your ear, the sound of a man’s voice humming:

One weekend in Portland, you weren’t even my girlfriend

We were walkin’ and talkin’

Then somebody said.. let's get tattoos together, something to remember

If it’s way too soon, fuck it, whatever

Give me shapes and letters

If it’s not forever, then at least we’ll have tattoos together

Mmm, ‘cause I love you

Mmm, ‘cause I love you

When you wake up the next morning, you and Mark are greeted by Jaemin and Renjun cooking breakfast in the kitchen as Jeno, Hyuck, and Chenle play mario kart on the old television in the living room. Jisung is setting the table with eating utensils while also stopping to look at his Nintendo switch every few seconds. Aside from reddened faces and teasing, the boys had already suspected of your making-up based on the blush that coats both of your faces. That afternoon, you call Chan on the phone through facetime, letting him know that you and Mark had made up. Chan tells him how happy he is to hear it, telling you that he’s always known how much Mark had liked you and that he didn’t hold a candle to how Mark would talk about you to the basketball team. You apologize out of worry that you’ve hurt Chan but like the gentleman he is, he tells you that you’ll always be good friends especially when he’s good friends with Mark.

The next few days are like dreams. Together, you, Mark, and the boys go gallivanting across Victoria island through the sea towns made of floating boathouses and seafood restaurants. You bring your polaroid camera with you, capturing memories of Hyuck dropping his ice cream, selfies with Jeno and Jaemin, and seagulls chasing Renjun- all in a few frames. Even one morning, all of you had the spontaneous but rather, stupid decision to get matching commemorative tattoos, each of them a different flower on your wrists to commemorate your friendship. Each afternoon meant picnics at the Goldmere Provincial Park or whale watching tours out on the cobalt waters that were foaming with white. Other days you’d all visit the aviation museum or opt to sample the best chocolate fudge at Roger’s after a small hike.

On the last night of your trip, Mark had made sure that he wanted to take you down Tiffany avenue before meeting up with the boys for dinner. He’d told you to dress nicely in which you all did, leading you by the hand down the shopping street as your tulle skirt wavered behind you. When the both of you came to a balcony that overlooked the water,  the ocean looked so vast like it could swallow you into the great swirls of turquoise and aquamarine as white ocean spray crashed on the sharp rocks. The sky turned a lavender shade that bloomed into a twilight pink, the sun barely touching the tips of the mountains. Mark had placed an item in your hand from his pocket, a pair of cherry earrings he had bought in a souvenir shop when you weren’t looking. It reminded you of the song on Mark’s playlist from several nights before:

Yeah, your cherry earrings are my favorite

It looks so good I had to save it

I’ve been hopin’, prayin’ we last forever

‘Cause there’s nothing better than you and I

A week ago, you told Renjun that in any circumstance, you would never go anywhere if it reminded you of your feelings for Mark, of your friends, of everything that had happened. Now, you’re glad to be able to let go, you’re able to feel the cold wind on the cliffs- Mark right by your side. Being wrapped up in the tight security of your boyfriend’s arms, (yes, Mark had asked for real this time) along with your best friends, you’re careful to not let go of them now. There’s no place that you’d rather be.

[crimsonbluemoon]

8, 6, 32 w minicat pleeeease! :D

Okay, last of the drabbles and this one is a doozy. >.> Like 10 pages long, ugh. But Grace deserves it cause she’s been my rock during these drabblez and really helped me commit to getting them done. Thank you so much for your support! Please enjoy this as my thanks. 

AU: College 

Trope: Fake dating

Prompt: “Shut up for a second, will you?”

Pairing: Minicat

Tyler wasn’t stupid; he knew he was one of the last choices people thought of when needing help with something on campus. In his defense, he was busy; his parents’ low income meant he had to have a full time job while also maintaining a high GPA for his scholarships for his overly priced college. His classes were tough, never wasting time on filler courses when he was paying thousands of dollars to attend. It meant hours of homework after long shifts, sometimes all nighters. He didn’t have the time of day to breathe, nevermind think about others. Brock, probably being too understanding of a roommate (Tyler didn’t give a shit what anyone thought of him, but Brock’s sad eyes always hit him far too hard to ignore), never pushed him to engage in extra socializing or unnecessary events. Brock’s dumbass boyfriend tried (seriously, how did Brian manage to swindle Brock into falling in love with him? Gross.) to provide Tyler with ‘the college life’, which was harder than getting water from a rock. 

But even Tyler wasn’t a big enough dick to miss Brock’s birthday party. 

At least the venue was nice; Tyler swirled the water in the fancy glass while he leaned on the country club’s bar, watching the large group of strangers mingle. Brian came from money that far exceeded Brock and Tyler’s wildest dreams. Brock almost never allowed Brian to spoil him, which had been a different experience for Brian. It still bothered Tyler how lost Brian first looked when they both turned down his money for ‘hanging out with him’. Tyler had seen his flustered roommate refuse to let the rich brat pay for a two dollar water bottle once. So when Brock had finally, finally caved enough to let Brian pay for his birthday party, Brian didn’t hesitate to go over the top. Every person who Brock had ever met seemed to be at the event, filling the room with hundreds of people. 

Tyler hadn’t bothered following his roommate when Brian pulled him somewhere twenty minutes ago. Honestly, knowing those two, he didn’t want to see what they were up to. Brock had morals, but Brian was a charmer. He used it for teachers, police, and anyone who had eyes and the smallest of hints of attraction toward men. Seriously, Tyler had seen Brian give far too many straight guys a gay panic for it not to be seen as a freaky mutant power. Brock was helplessly in love with Brian (seriously, why?), which meant he was even more likely to fall for any of Brian’s sneaky schemes. 

Especially when it resulted in sex. 

“Ugh.” Scrunching his nose at the thought, Tyler took another swig of his drink before scanning the crowd again. So far, the event had been pretty tame, which was saying something for Brian. His parties were always over the top for all the wrong reasons. If the police weren’t called, it was seen as a failure, according to Panda. But Brock had asked Brian to make the party alcohol free, and like the sucker for pretty brown eyes he was, Brian had agreed. 

Tyler glanced down at his phone again, wondering when Evan and Panda were going to show up. They were the only friends he bothered with when Brock hung a sock on their apartment door. Evan had texted saying they’d got stuck in a late lab and had told them he’d be coming late. So Tyler, lacking the only three (and a half; Brian was okay when he cooked breakfast) people he actually liked at the party, was alone. But what the fuck else was new? It was better that way. He knew that too many people would just distract him from was important. His grades, his future, and his goals in life. So what if he spent more Fridays alone than with people? That his phone could go three days without a text? That he hadn’t gotten laid in over a year? And so what if some nights, his stupid heart wondered what it’d be like to have a disgusting relationship like Brian and Brock, to be pointlessly cared for and overly adored-

“Really, you should go.” The voice that cut into Tyler’s self-loathing made him frown, refocusing his eyes to pinpoint where it’d come from. Two seats down from the bar he’d inhabited alone (because who would wanna hang out at a bar with no alcohol?), a guy that Tyler recognized looked stiff when staring at another leaning completely into his space. It took a second for Tyler to realize who it was; Craig was a high school friend of Brian’s, and had become one of Brock’s good friends when Brian and Brock started dating two years ago. Craig also went to their college, making a name for himself despite the thousands of students. He was always busy, invested in way too many clubs and groups between his classes. They were so different, that Tyler saw no reason to befriend him. 

Except Craig had tried to get to know Tyler. Despite being busy and having far too many social groups for Tyler’s liking, Craig had actually always made an effort to create small talk whenever they bumped into each other. They weren’t friends, really; maybe acquaintances if Tyler was being generous. Since Craig was Brian’s best friend, he was around more often than Tyler was comfortable with. 

Because Craig was good looking, flirted worse than Brian, and was just a damn distraction. He was someone that could yank Tyler’s attention from important homework or project’s due dates to argue about how ‘culturally important’ The Office was. Sometimes he got Tyler to explain what he was working on, which devolved into little conversations about their lives that had nothing to do with the original topic. Craig learned about Tyler’s complicated relationship with money, while Tyler heard stories about Craig’s struggles with depression. He knew about Craig’s promiscuous years when he was a teenager, which led into the conversation of how both discovered their bi-sexuality. One time, Craig’s eyes shined with excitement while he told Tyler all about his dream of becoming a marine biologist.

Tyler had barely finished his term paper that night.

In a little over two years, Craig snuck his way under Tyler’s skin like a weed. Each time Tyler swore he wouldn’t let Craig get his attention (because he had to stay focused), the busy body made it a point to prove him wrong. Brian had mentioned Craig to Tyler a few times when trying to get him to come out with their group, like he was some bargaining chip. Like Brian knew something that Tyler didn’t. 

It annoyed Tyler how often he ended up at those events.  

Normally the first to wear a grin far too big for his face, there was no sign of a smile now. Craig’s body language was telling Tyler all he needed to know about the predicament; these two were not friends. “Does Brian even know you’re here? Because I doubt Brock invited you.” 

“I’m a plus one of a friend. The new boy toy seemed to forget my invitation in the mail.” There was a cockiness in the stranger’s voice that instantly pissed Tyler off, his eyes narrowing as the conversation continued.

“Yeah, maybe because you’re Brian’s shitty ex-boyfriend, and he’d rather eat shards of glass than see your face again. And Brock’s not a boy toy; they’re actually in love. I know, new concept for you.” Craig’s snark was coated in a sweet tone that seemed to rub the ex the wrong way, though Tyler got a small chuckle out of it. Craig was always presented as cheerful and energetic, but one on one talks proved there was more sarcasm than sweetness. He was Brian’s friend after all.

“You think Brian’s going to actually manage to keep an innocent guy like that? We both know he’s far too self-destructive for that kind of happily ever after. Why do you think he always comes back to me each time?” Okay, Tyler could conceed he wasn’t always the nicest to Brian, but he also knew the guy wasn’t trash. Brian was good for Brock, as annoying as that was. And this punk was really starting to push Tyler’s buttons. 

“Brian’s happy, actually happy. Brock wants him, not his wallet, and you’re not ruining that. So you need to leave, now.” Craig’s firm words didn’t have the effect that he wanted, and Tyler felt his teeth clench when the other man stepped into Craig’s personal space, posturing. 

“Don’t think you can really make me. Last time didn’t go so well for you, did it?” This guy had muscle, and was obviously taller than the man sitting on the bar stool. Craig’s lips looked tense when they pressed together tightly, but Tyler could pick up on the slight flinch of his shoulders. This guy didn’t just bother Craig; he scared him. He was trying not to show it, but Tyler was sure it was a well known fact by how cruel the smirk on the other man’s face was. “How’s your arm, by the way? Fractures can be a pain in the ass, so I’ve heard. Still got that pop in your shoulder?”

“It’s fine.” The tone was quieter than before, and Craig pressed closer to the stool’s back, Still, his eyes shone brightly with defiance, unwilling to lower. And after a moment of tense silence, Craig surprised Tyler when his lip rose in a half-cocked grin. “How’s your dad? Divorces can be a pain in the ass, so I’ve heard. He still got that freckle on the tip of his-”

“You fucking slut.” Tyler was out of his seat before the guy could raise his fist, catching the punch inches from Craig’s face. Craig let out a surprised squeak, but Tyler didn’t look back when he used the contact to shove the man back, stepping between him and Craig.

“Don’t even think about it.” He didn’t need to posture or present himself as intimidating; his broach shoulders and tall genetics already did the work for him. While this guy had looked impressive in front of Craig, he wasn’t nearly as intimidating when compared to Tyler’s glare and tense shoulders. 

“Who the fuck are you? His boyfriend?” The words were snapped off like an insult, as if the guy thought dating Craig was the worst punishment someone could have. From the corner of his eyes, he picked up on the wince behind Craig’s glasses, knowing he’d heard the same disgust Tyler had. Craig’s sexual history wasn’t hidden knowledge, though how much he’d changed since high school seemed less known. Sighing, Craig pushed out of his seat, shoulders dropped in shame. Like maybe he agreed with the scumbag.

“He’s-” 

“Yeah, I am.” In a move that was far more suited for Brian, Tyler reached out, snagging Craig’s hip and yanking him closer. It was impulsive and fucking stupid, but Tyler’s heart lost track of it’s beat when feeling Craig’s warm body meld against his. It felt like a perfect match, with Craig’s head bumping against his collar bone before settling into the crook of Tyler’s neck. He let his arm drop around the waist, keeping Craig plastered to him to support the act he still wasn’t sure he wanted to perform. “Is that a fucking problem, asshole?” 

“Tyler…” Craig’s lost tone didn’t sound right for the man who two nights ago gushed about the astrology compatibility on Tyler’s couch. He tried not to focus on how annoyed that made him, burning his glare into the man who now snorted.

“Oh, wow. You really want to claim this trainwreck? The kid’s had more people in him than the New York subway station.” The insult was tossed out without hesitation, like it was used far too often in correlation to Craig. The body against his tensed for a second before going limp, the words sucking whatever fight was left in Craig’s body out. And Tyler didn’t know anything about this situation, shouldn’t have cared about Craig’s happiness or the weird past these two had. This was Brian’s drama, Brock’s fight, Craig’s problem. It didn’t mean shit to Tyler, had no correlation to his future. Because it wasn’t his job to help people. 

But that excuse wasn’t good enough this time.

“You talk about my boyfriend like that again, and I’ll knock your fucking teeth out.” He added no growl or movement to his threat, making sure his words were clear and deadly in their presentation. His hand squeezed the hip under his palm, letting the line between pretend and reality blur for a moment. “He’s mine. I don’t care what people think of us; I don’t give a fuck what he did before me. And I ain’t worry about anyone else coming after me, cause I’ll make sure he doesn’t need to find someone else. If those idiots couldn’t keep him satisfied, that was their loss. I don’t have a problem in that department. My only problem at the moment is you.”

“I never fucked-” But Tyler didn’t want to hear what this asshole had to say.

“Out of respect for my roommate, I’m not beating the shit out of you for hurting Craig before. But I’m really losing my patience. If you ever come near Craig again, I’ll make sure they don’t find your body. And since my boyfriend likes that dumbass Brian, he tends to hang out with him alot. Enough that you might bump into Craig if you bug him. That would be a bad day for you. You understand, or do you need specific details?” 

Tyler didn’t interact with people often, but he sure as hell knew how to threaten someone.

“You-whatever. Brian’s not worth this shit. Enjoy your five minutes with Craig while it lasts.” Tyler could hear the fear in the guy’s voice when he turned tail, but he didn’t let his eyes move away from the glare he’d pinned on him since the threat. 

“Your dad’s dick is small!” Craig’s shout at the guy retreating made Tyler roll his eyes, sending a look that made Craig smile sheepishly. “Well, it is.” 

“I don’t need to know that,” he answered, feeling the chest against his ribs vibrate with Craig’s laugh.

“Aw, come on. You know what you were getting when you made me your boyfriend.” Craig’s smile was a nice change of pace, and Tyler’s arms pulled him closer without thought. A moment of surprise passed through both of them, Tyler unsure why he hadn’t dropped his hold on Craig’s waist. He knew the guy was long gone, and their act didn’t need to continue. Yet his brain and body didn’t seem to be on the same page. Craig looked pleased at the lack of distance, curling a hand on the back of Tyler’s neck. But the hesitant bite of his lower lip proved that the bravado wasn’t fully felt. “Rumors are gonna start, you know. If you’re looking to get yourself out of this alive, we shouldn’t be so close.”

“I already said I don’t care what people think of us.” 

“But that was when-”

“Shut up for a second, will ya?” Tyler sighed at the headache that was forming behind his eyes. This was why he didn’t deal with people. “If it’s going to bug you or whatever, then we can make sure Brian spreads it was a joke. But I don’t have a social life, and I really could give two fucks what anyone but my teachers think about me. And if having people think I’m your boyfriend keeps assholes like that from harassing you, then use it.”

“You don’t mind? You really don’t mind being labelled as my boyfriend?” There was a spark of excitement in Craig’s tone when his eyes looked up at Tyler with an awe that made him squirm in discomfort. He felt his face flush at the attention, his stomach twisting in a way he couldn’t explain. 

“How many times do I have to say that I don’t care-” 

And then Craig was kissing him. The suddenness of the lips on his made Tyler’s mouth part in surprise. Craig took the opportunity to deepen the kiss and hum in pleasure. The softness of the tongue against his was mind-numbing, Tyler unsure how to counter the skill that Craig used. But after a second, he decided he needed to try. The fingers trailing lightly along the back of his neck during their leisure kiss had goosebumps rising on his skin, Tyler’s hands yanking Craig closer to feel the smaller body flush against his. The slight wiggle of Craig’s waist against his own proved the movement was appreciated, and Tyler only broke the kiss when soft lips sucked his tongue in a way far too familiar to an act he didn’t want to think about in public. 

“That was nice.” Craig’s grin was pressed to Tyler’s slack lips, his breath even as he dropped a small peck between his next sentence. “We should definitely do that more to sell this whole boyfriend thing. Maybe in a bed and with less clothes on. A snapchat or two, you know, commit to our roles and such.”

“Jesus Christ.” He wanted it to sound exacerbated, not breathless, but it was obvious he missed his mark when Craig tossed his head back and laughed. Tyler stared down at the bright smile of his… something, arms tightening to keep Craig close. Unsure how he had gotten there, he only knew one thing for certain.

He was never helping someone out again.

[curiosity-killed]

super long rambling and a fair bit of whining abt my relationship with dance AUs bc this is what my brain chose to fixate on for my whole extremely sloggish run

Because I love dance and because I love writing and because I do rather a lot of both, I pretty consistently struggle with my complete and utter block on writing dance AUs and I’ve basically realized that it comes down to a three-prong barricade that gets progressively harder to overcome as you move through it

Because part of it is just technical. Writing about dance is hard from a dancer’s perspective. I know dance, I know the mechanics of it and the sensations of it. I can walk you through the technical details of a 3-minute variation and I can tell you how my heart lifts and body fills with light the moment I step onto the stage. I can give you the nitty gritty and I can give you the grand metaphors—and I cannot for the life of me balance the lens on the middle ground.

I got asked on bumble what my favorite dance step is and immediately answered tour jete (or entrelace, depending on your school). And then, because the person wasn’t a dancer, I followed up with, “it’s a big fun jump that makes you feel like you’re flying.”

Yeah. That clears everything up.

A story cannot be made by a Big Jump That Feels Like Flying. Do you know how many steps that could cover?? Hell, how many disciplines?? A barrel leap is a big jump that can feel like flying. So is an Italian pas de chat. All three of these are  w i l d l y  different steps.

So there’s the words but—how to translate a language of precise motion and sweeping emotion into plain language accessible to people who haven’t grown up in this pidgin tongue of bad French and weird metaphors. Tombe pas de bourre glissade pas de chat contre temps—this is my language of dance. This is not only clear instruction on what steps to take but also the rhythm of it conveyed in the syllables and accents. I read this and not only see the dance across stage but feel the sway of my torso as I mark along, the flick of my wrist as I shape the steps before they’re taken, physical reminders of 17 years of training and study.

A reader reads this and their eyes glaze over and roll back in their heads.

To go the opposite way, to lay it all out in the actual physical motions is, if possible, even worse. Fall (gracefully) onto your right leg while extending your left with pointed foot to cross your left behind your right to step your right to the side to— *gasp for breath* Yeah, no.

The solution to this, in theory, is the kind of checklist I go through while performing: emotion, motion, technique. (Incidentally, this is the opposite of my checklist while rehearsing or taking class) Draw the reader in with the feel of it, move them with familiar steps, punctuate with the details. In theory. I’ve yet to make it work.

And then there’s the fact that I have had a very weird education and career in dance. I grew up dancing in the rural Midwest US—not exactly a hub of performing arts (and if you mention Joffrey, I will kindly invite you to look up “rural” and then look at Chicago). 

The vast majority of dancers in the rural midwest (...RMWUS??) go to competition schools. Think Dance Moms, high kicks and tricks on Instagram, trophies and tiaras. 

I.....went to a university.

We learned more about kinesiology than kicks. My teachers were fascinated by the way I could “jump like a boy” and didn’t once mention my waist circumference. It would be a lie to say it was all daisies and sweetcakes. We were competitive. Sometimes we were brats. We learned to push through severe physical pain and turned perfectionism to a weapon. Teachers had favorites and older girls could be downright mean.

But, having now danced at a competition studio, it was wildly different. When there were tears in the dressing room, it was because we were graduating and going far across the country from each other—not because a teacher had come in and yelled at the entire cast for 15 minutes right before the show. When auditions came around, we discussed each other’s strengths and weaknesses and together determined what we thought the best casting would be (tbc we did not have a say in casting, it was all just a thought exercise). 

We learned about dance not as an isolated thing we do but as a part of life—dance as an expression of culture, dance as a remarkable maximization of the human body—and are still always welcomed home.

I do, if I’m totally honest, think I got a better education than people at competition schools. But when it comes to writing fanfic...this is not a model of dance that is super easily accessible. Competition dance is on TV, Instagram, it’s all over. A rigorous academic approach to modern ballet...is not.

Lastly and ultimately the biggest stumbling block is: dance has always been a very gendered experience for me. My weird university education was surprisingly queer and unsurprisingly liberal, but I am a ballerina—not a danseur, not a ballet dancer. I grew up huddling under the edge of the grand piano with my friends hastily sewing pointe shoes and tingling with anticipation when we were finally old enough to wear platter tutus. I grew up pulling my hair back in tight buns and only being allowed to wear small earrings in class when I was in high school. 

There’s some crossover of course. I’ve got (as Colorado Ballet says) Mad Hops so my teacher would make me do men’s tempo jumps while the rest of the girls stood on the side and caught their breath. My partner for a pas de deux fell sick one tech week so my best friend, female, partnered me instead. 

Men can (and increasingly do) train in pointe shoes and wear tutus. Look at James B. Whiteside and Harper Watters for some of the most obvious examples. It is wonderful and remarkable to see gender roles changing in ballet and dance and that should be expressed in fiction as well. Men dance. Men do ballet and not just to hold up the women or to do big jumps. They can point their feet too, y’all.

(Here is where the whining really begins. Just so you’re warned.)

But when I sit down to write, the stories I want to tell are the stories I know—queer women growing up and training and learning together and challenging and supporting each other. The way you are taught ballet is very dependent on your gender. Men can train in pointe shoes, but that’s not the classical or traditional route. 

While my friends and I were taping our toes and grimacing about dead shanks, the guys in our cohort were in a separate class learning how to perform big jumps and turns in second. While I was cinching tight my friend’s corset-back bodice, the guys were in tights and a shirt. Again with the jumps—it wasn’t that I was a good jumper or that I was a strong jumper, it was that I jumped like a man. It was a compliment, but it was also an exception.

Meanwhile, most of my fandoms are very heavily male. The one time I attempted to write a dance AU was for VLD and I immediately ran into the baffling problem of “There are too many boys.” As someone who’s danced my whole life...this is not (usually) a problem in the real world of dance. If I write AUs about the main characters, I am writing about male dancers. Again, great! We need more positive and varied depictions of men dancing—but it’s not what I want to write.

I wrote out an entire paragraph here only to realize that the crux of the problem is actually the usual crux of my problem with gender in fanfiction and it is, quite simply: I want more well-developed female characters. Because I can write a story about side characters, but there’s so much less to go on — and sometimes, that’s where the fun comes in. Getting to play with and create a wealth of history and character for a written-off member of the cast can be really fun. But, for me at least, the delight of AUs is slipping in and twisting around canon in a new context.

If I write a wangxian ballet AU, Wei Wuxian’s demonic cultivation can be traded for his switching abruptly to a new studio—one that uses harsh methods, demands too much from him, cuts him off from the people he used to dance with—all so that the money from his tuition can be turned to help Jiang Cheng continue at his chosen academy and pursue dance professionally. It’s a stretch, it’s a twist, but it’s within a frame readers recognize.

If I write a ballet AU with Jiang Yanli and Wen Qing...well, it’s all free form. We have so little to go on that you can make it work—Cloud Recesses becomes a summer intensive, Wen Ruohan’s conquest becomes the buying out and closing of the Jiang academy for some new development—but there’s less resonance. We’re on new ground and the reader has to offer up a lot more trust and disbelief. 

Which I suppose leads us to genderbends?? Good lord. I do not know my own feelings about that enough to go anywhere. b l a r g h

so i guess this is all to say: writing good, dance good, writing dance hard. pouty face pouty face pouty face :<

[kweebtrash]

When I See You Again (M)

Genre:  Best Friends to Lovers! AU, Tattoo Artist! Yuto, 1st person reader

Summary:  You and Yuto had met in high school, an unlikely pair as he was the juvenile delinquent and you were just a foreign exchange student trapped in a country who’s people didn’t except you and lost in homesickness. After saving you from your worst nightmare of being trapped against the wall between some bullies, you slowly started to become friends, though friendship quickly turned into a secret crush. When your heart was just about full a devastating accident caused you to be ripped away from Japan, never seeing Yuto again. Ten years later a chance encounter on a simple vacation turns your world upside down as the teenage boy you loved was now a man who still had a hold of your heart.

Warnings: violence (fighting), mentions of blood, bullying, mentions of abuse

Features: shy yuto, fun and awkward conversations during sexy time, oral (giving and receiving), fingering, slow and gentle and mostly romantic sex, a smidgearooni of dirty talk (but cute dirty talk). Basically Yuto can be confident at times but mostly shy in bed. Yuto is also very handsy and loves kissing so theres a lot of that in case it seems overdone.

Word Count:

A/N:  This was actually a request i received almost a year ago (i’m so sorry) and i finally challenged myself to finish this. I don’t really think it’s my best but I really wanted to get back into writing for pentagon. To the person that requested this i’m so damn sorry it took so long.

I hope you at least think it was worth it.

My shoes pounded against the tile as i weaved through a crowded hallway full of students. My breath burned in my lungs and my heart pounded in my ears. I dodged a student council member, spinning on my heels and almost falling to my knees before catching myself. I took quick glances over my shoulder trying to see if they were behind me. Their raucous laughter was still close by as they remained high on my tail. I laser focused on the sound, hearing it over the gossiping whispers and angry yells as i almost crashed into the other students. Up ahead I could see a flight of stairs that lead to the rooftop. It felt like a light at the end of the tunnel. I sprinted up the stairs two at a time and grabbed onto the door handle, hoping to all hell that it wasn’t locked. I flung it open with all my strength, falling through the doorway. I slammed it shut behind me, pressing my back to it taking in deep breaths until my lungs went back into a rhythm of normalcy. Up on the roof gusts of fall air cooled my skin as i walked over to the edge. It was peaceful here. No one to shame me, no one to chase me, no one to make my life a living hell. I wished I wasn't here at all. I wanted to go back home. I momentarily looked down at the bustling sidewalk below. People looked like ants from how far up I was. A wave of nausea and fear came over me and I took a step back.

“You’re not going to jump are you?”

I whipped around quickly to see that i wasn’t alone on the rooftop. He was sprawled out on his back, hands folded behind his head, and a cigarette dangling from his lips. His uniform matched mine, but it looked like he was determined to violate every dress code put into place. His blazer was open, revealing a black v-neck underneath, tie hanging loosely around his neck, and piercings all along his ears. I stared at him momentarily taken aback by his "bad boy" vibes and piercing gaze. He seemed so familiar but I couldn’t quite place him. I walked to the center of the rooftop so I could stay safe. “No...I’m not planning on it.”

“Good. With my luck they’d say I pushed you.” He pulled the cigarette from his lips and exhaled.

“Who’s ‘they’?” I questioned, still wracking my brain trying to figure out who he was.

“Police. Principal. Students. Idiots and assholes. ‘They’.” It clicked in my head then. Adachi. I had heard the name floating in conversations in the hallway. My Japanese was far from perfect but I could at least recall that name. He towered over most of the students and was always in detention, cutting classes, and getting into fights. Rumors were even spread about him being a serial killer, which seemed typical of the students here; anything to shove away people who were different and isolate them. He had a different impact than I did. While i was the weak foreigner, he was one to be feared but I didn’t even think he looked intimidating. In fact, I thought he was kind of...cute. “What were you running from?” He continued, this time in English which surprised me but gave me a sense of comfort. His accent was heavy and words a little broken but i was the same with my Japanese so I didn't care.

Ever since my family moved to Japan for my dad’s job I had been struggling to pick up the language. It didn’t help that I was thrust into public school without any time to prepare for classes fully. Everyday was becoming more of a struggle for hundreds of reasons and I wished desperately that I could go back to my own country. In hindsight that was probably the most truthful answer-that I was running from everything- but I provided him the one that didn’t reveal my true feelings.

“Girls.” I stated flatly. “Stupid girls. Evil girls. They were...calling me this word I didn’t understand and they were laughing at me. Then they cornered me. I don’t know why they were so pissed off. I don’t even think I have classes with any of them. Before I knew it they we're grabbing at my hair and were trying to cut it. I ran away as fast as I could. It's been like that since I've started school here.”

Adachi scoffed and flicked his cigarette off the side of the roof. He stood up slowly, dusting off the back of his uniform pants. “Fight back.” He stated as if it was the most logical and useful answer. “Don't let anyone know what you're scared of or else you're just going to get treated like you're nothing.”

I almost laughed at his “advice.” “That’s your great idea? To fight? I’m sure it works well for you.” I said sarcastically, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Oh it does.” He shot back at me. “You don't see me whining about people calling me gaijin and crying over being bullied, do you?”

My brows furrowed. “I wasn’t crying, asshole! It’s just irritating and annoying. I don’t understand what’s happening in my classes and I can’t even go to them without having people threatening to cause me bodily harm or throwing shit at me. On top of that, my parents would kill me if I ever got in trouble so i’m just….stuck.” I let out an exasperated sigh.

“Aww it must really suck to have mommy and daddy pout over you. Whether you follow my advice or not doesn’t mean two shits to me. But dont start whining when they come after you again.” He shrugged and headed towards the door, taking a moment to pause before turning back towards me. “People are stupid. Don’t let it get to you or else you’ll really end up jumping.” With that he left the rooftop leaving me alone at last.

Adachi…what a prick. Where did he get off telling me to fight? It was easy for him to say. He had nothing to lose. Well I assumed so anyway...Maybe I was just as bad as everyone else who judged him. A little pang of guilt hit me. I didn’t want to become like the girls who chased me or the teachers that mocked me. I wasn’t going to judge him just because he was different. After all, he tried to help the only way he knew how. I knew deep down that he was right too. I wasn’t going to show this school how miserable it made me. Maybe taking his advice into consideration wasn’t such a bad idea.

It was days before I saw him again. Occasionally, I would catch him in the hallway but we didn’t have a chance to speak face to face. That was until I had been cornered again by the same girls. It was a chorale of taunts, poking, and prodding; using their cowardice to place us behind the school where no one would see us. The main culprit was a senior who looked down at me in disdain with the most sinister of smiles on her lips. She was the one who screamed the loudest as if I could respond to the words that cut into me. I tried covering my ears to block her out but her shrill voice surpassed my blockade. My blood was boiling and I could feel my body shaking. Adachi’s advice kept creeping into my mind. Just fight. Just Fight. JUST FIGHT. 

“Hey!” The deep voice cut through the screaming and made us all freeze. Our attention turned to Adachi who was standing just a few feet away, glaring at the girls surrounding me. Their demeanor changed in seconds and while their so called “leader” was distracted i closed my eyes and swung. I felt something connect with my fist and a rush of pain sped up my arm. My hand was trembling and when I opened my eyes I saw the splatters of red that stained her white uniform blouse.

“Oh shit.” I whispered in disbelief.

She held her nose and screamed in pain. Before my mind could even react further, Adachi grabbed me by my arm and started running. I struggled to keep up with his long strides, taking no time to look behind us to see if they had begun to follow. Hopefully Adachi had scared them off enough to keep them at bay. It seemed like forever until we stopped beside a nearby convenience store, panting and doubling over as we tried to catch our breaths. Suddenly Adachi burst into laughter, scaring the crap out of me. I had barely heard him speak let alone laugh before. It was...sweet albeit still a little frightening. 

“I can’t believe you actually decked her in the face!”

“W-well she wouldn’t shut up! I was tired of hearing her scream and i didn’t even understand what she was saying! I don’t know what the fuck her problem is." I took a deep death and adjusted my uniform. "Thank you though. You kinda saved me back there.”

“I mean you probably would’ve gotten your ass kicked. And with the way you punched, you wouldn’t have stood a chance.” His eyes darted down to my fist that ached and was starting to bruise. “You punch with the flats of your fingers, not your knuckles. That’s gonna swell. At least you still probably broke her nose..”

“Great. I have no idea how I’m going to hide this from my parents.”

“Time to chop your hand off and say it was a random Yakuza attack.”

I stared at him, my eyes going wide for a second. “Did you...did you just make a joke?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and stood up a little straighter. “Just because people piss me off doesn’t mean that I can’t actually laugh. I’m not a robot or a serial killer.”

“So you heard those rumors?” I asked softly.

He shrugged. “It’s whatever. Sometimes I go along with it just to get people off my back. Anyway, might as well go inside and get you something cold to keep the swelling down. Stay here.”

I watched his back as the automatic doors parted and he walked in. I rested against the brick wall, trying not to think about the pain in my hand. I uncurled my fingers slowly and tried forming the fist again. It wasn’t easy but nothing seemed to be broken either. My knuckles were now a grisly blue-violet and the swelling was starting to become noticeable. I sighed and glanced down at my watch, impatiently waiting for Adachi’s return. It only took a few more minutes before i saw his tuft of black hair reappear. He held out a frozen bag of peas for me to take while i gave him a puzzled look.

“It’s the only thing they had. Just take it.” 

I took the pack and held it on my hand. it made me wince but also provided a little relief. "Thanks. Do you think I could hide this from my parents?"

"No way in hell. Just keep an ice pack on it and try not to use it too much."

"You sound like an expert on this." I grumbled.

"Yeah, well," He looked away from me and returned his hands to his pockets. "I've had my fair share of busted knuckles. Anyway, do you need me to walk you home or are you cool?"

Walk me home? That wasn't something I expected from him. "Do you really want to?"

"I mean I asked for a reason, dumbass."

"Hey! Don't be a jerk! I just...I've never been walked home before and I know it's kinda a big deal here."

He shrugged. "I don't think so. This isn’t some anime romance. I just want to make sure those bitches aren't after you. It'd be hell if they found out where you lived."

He had a point. I was already harassed at school, I wasn't prepared to be harassed at home as well. "Ok, that sounds good."

He grabbed my briefcase that I barely had time to escape with and held his hand out in front of him. "Lead the way."

We walked side by side, mostly quiet and awkward. I wasn't sure what kind of conversation i should even start. I wanted to know more about him but something told me he was a closed book. I chewed on my lip, overthinking and getting anxious. "You know, i don't even know your name." He said, suddenly.

Oh, that's right. We had never formally introduced ourselves. I told him my name and realized I had to figure out the proper honorific for him. "Wait, should I call you Adachi-kun. Or Adachi-sempai? Are you even older than me? Is it Adachi-san?"

"Just call me Yuto. No honorifics. I don't care about that. It's just some authoritative bullshit."

"You're really one hell of a guy, you know that?" I couldn't help but chuckle.

There was a faint tint of rose to his cheeks, so much so that I thought I had imagined it. He looked away and scoffed. "Tch, whatever. Just keep telling me where to go."

I smiled to myself as we turned a corner. Yuto might have a secret soft spot that I was dying to pry into more. Occasionally, I was able to drum up something else to talk about. I was curious as to why he got into trouble so much but instead tried to see what kind of things he liked. It boiled down to eating and sleeping - very profound hobbies. He seemed more interested in me and once I finally got him talking I realized he wouldn't stop. His tone was still serious but I think it was mostly on account of how deep his voice was. I didn't expect him to be so talkative but it actually felt like I finally had a friend here.

--

A few weeks later, Yuto was supposed to meet me near my house to walk me to school. We had made a habit of walking together almost every day. It didn't matter if we were silent or talked about what happened at school or I scolded him for being a delinquent, our conversations made me totally happy and it was the one thing I looked forward to each day. This morning in particular, though, he wasn't at our usual meet up spot. I waited for a few minutes, wondering if he was caught up somewhere. It was getting dangerously close to first bell and our consequences for being late were going to be extreme. When I called him he didn’t answer which made my mind jump to conclusions and worry immediately. Taking a chance, I sprinted in the direction of the school as a gut feeling was telling me something wasn't right.

As I got closer to the school I could hear a scuffle in the nearest alleyway, close to the convenience store we had stopped back when I had hurt my fist. I saw him against the wall, facing off against two idiots. His briefcase had been tossed to the floor, it's contents spilling out and I was afraid that would happen to his guts as well as one of the attackers was holding a knife. There was no mistaking the shine that spiked across it from the morning sun. They were dressed in uniforms from a school I didn’t recognize- I had no idea who they were and I didn’t care. I was hell bent on returning the favor to Yuto from when he saved me.

"Hey!" I yelled. All attention was turned to me instantly.

"Get out of here!" Yuto said. "It's too dangerous!"

"Oh, is that your little girlfriend?" One of the bigger boys said smugly. 

The knife holder rolled the weapon in his palm, adding to its already present intimidation. My heart was pounding in my ears as my eyes zeroed in on it. Adrenaline was building inside me, the same feelings of needing to fight back taking over from when I had punched my own bully. Fear was still ever present of course. I didn’t stand a chance with actually fist fighting them and they had the upper hand anyway. I could die. Yuto could die. It was risky and the odds were too stacked against us. I had to try though, anything was worth a shot if I could save him. It was the first thing that popped into my head and instead of swinging my fist i sent my leg flying up between his. With how hard I had struck him it felt like my shin had connected straight with his pelvic bone. Pain filled my calf but i was sure it wasn’t as strong as what he was feeling. The knife clanged to the ground as he crumpled along with it, holding himself as he groaned in pain. Yuto picked up the knife at lighting speed and managed to shove the other boy against the wall, pressing the blade to his neck. His tone was full of spite and anger and though he was speaking too fast for me to understand I could feel the fiery intent behind every syllable. Whatever it was, it scared the other guy into picking up his friend and dragging themselves away like wounded dogs. Yuto tossed the knife to the ground and before I could even ask if he was okay he grabbed onto my shoulders and shook me roughly.

"Are you fucking crazy?! You could've gotten hurt! Don't ever do that again!"

"I-im sorry!! I just-! You were in trouble and I didn’t know what else to do! I didn’t want you to get hurt either! I panicked!”

“You’re such an airhead sometimes! What would’ve happened if you had gotten stabbed, huh?! I cant...I can’t lose you...:” His voice softened at the end, so low that I could barely hear it. I didn’t expect him to be this emotional. Though we were good friends and shared laughs, Yuto was still blocked off when it came to deeper emotions. He was even more reserved when it came to affection but in this moment he pulled me to his chest and squeezed me as tight as he could. It shocked me completely, so much so that I didn’t even think to reciprocate the hug. I just stood there like an idiot as I felt every inch of his warmth flowing over me. It was so utterly comforting and something I didn’t think i needed throughout my time here in Japan but it seemed to heal all wounds. Eventually, it clicked in my head to wrap my arms around him and squeeze him just as tight. It felt so good and I didn’t want us to ever separate but he was the first to pull away. "Sorry I wasn't there to walk you to school."

"That doesn't matter now, idiot." I reached up and whacked my palm into his forehead gently. “Besides i’m pretty sure first bell already rang. I’m going to get into so much trouble. My parents are going to kill me when they find out and I really really realllllyyy don’t want to do detention. Is it as bad as they say it is?”

“I don’t know, i never did my detentions.” He said with a devious smile. “But I guess that just means we’ll have to skip entirely.”

“Are you insane!? That will get me into even more trouble! That’s the opposite of what I need!”

“Aww come on, live a little. You don’t always have to play by the rules. Sometimes it’s fun to break them. Besides, one day of skipping isn’t going to hurt you.”

"Adachi Yuto, are you saying I should become a juvenile delinquent just like you?"

"Hell yeah." 

We laughed, harder than we should of knowing the prospect of me getting in trouble loomed over us. Though I was scared of the consequences, the idea of spending the entire day with him released thousands of budding seeds of romance that I hadn’t really known had been inside me. Sure, i would notice his tender eyes and smile that lit up my entire world like the first sunrise but I didn’t think I had a crush on him! Or rather I ignored every single one of those feelings because I knew he wouldn’t be interested in me. It was a secret I had been harboring for fear of rejection and making our entire relationship weird. With a day of endless possibilities ahead of us I hoped that I could keep my secret and remain stoic. I slipped out of my overthinking and looked up at him. "Ok, I guess you convinced me enough. I’ll play hooky but just this once!”

“Whoa, really? I didn’t think you had it in you.” He nudged my arm playfully.

“I’m nervous but spending a day with you sounds much more exciting than listening to lectures that make my brain feel like its frying.”

“I’m excited to spend the day with you too…” His cheeks flushed then and he took a step back from the closeness leftover from our hug. He shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled his weight on his feet. “Uh, I mean, um...like-uh...What would you want to do?”

"What do you normally do when you skip?" I asked.

"Get some snacks at the store then sit at home and watch One Piece reruns."

"Are you serious?" I giggled. "That's what Mr. "Serial Killer" does?"

"Hey! It’s relaxing! Sometimes I doze off, sometimes I do other stuff. It’s nice!”

“I’ve never watched One Piece before. Is it good?”

“Is it-? It’s AMAZING! It’s basically like the greatest anime of all time. Oh my god, we have to watch it now. We’re not doing anything else.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “What have I gotten myself into?!” I laughed. “Oh, wait. Your stuff.” We both dropped to the ground and started picking up the scattered contents of his bag. My eyes rested on a sketchpad that laid open, the pages now slightly torn and dirty but I could see precise linework and expressions the drawings held.

"Did you draw these?" I asked.

He snatched the book away from me and snapped it shut. "Nevermind this. It's nothing."

"Yuto, I think they were really nice."

"No, it's seriously nothing. Forget about it."

I set my hand on his shoulder and softened my voice. "You know you don't have to be embarrassed around me."

"I'm not-" He sighed. "I'm not embarrassed really. I just don't think I'm good."

"Of course you're good. They're amazing and I think you're talented."

"Really?"

"Has no one ever told you that before?" I asked.

"No…"

"Well I'm telling you now, ok? And I mean it."

Our eyes met and a slow shy smile creeped onto his face. He turned away instantly and mumbled some sort of thanks as he worked to stuff everything back in the bag. "Appreciate it."

I stood up and dusted my knees off. "What are friends for anyway?" I extended my hand to help him up which he took.

"Friends...yeah…"

"Wanna get those snacks now?"

He only nodded, retreating back to those simple answers I was used to. I held onto his arm as we walked, looking up at him every so often. It was starting to get harder and harder to ignore the feelings that kept trying to surface every time i was with him. I wished they would just disappear already. With him so close to me now i could feel my heart pounding. It got even worse when i felt his hand overwhelm mine suddenly. He was tugging me in the direction of the store but i couldnt take my eyes off our interlocked fingers. They were so warm and long, absolutely beautiful. I could just imagine the way he held a pencil while sketching his favorite characters. I wanted to watch him do what he loved the most. He lead me across the street and to the doors of the convenience store while i stayed wrapped in my head. It wasn’t until he asked me what i wanted that i snapped out of it. I looked around at some of the pre-made food trying to decipher what the labels said and what i could infer from what the food looked like. I was indecisive between a chicken or pork bento and but figured that Yuto would be able to help me decide.

I found him a few aisles over, bent over and looking at cell phone charms like he was trying to make a decision himself. “What are you looking at?”

He straightened up quickly and almost jumped when he saw me. “Oh, uh...nothing.”

I looked over the charms, noticing that they were of popular Sanrio characters. “These are so cute. Are you gonna get one?”

“What? Me? No way! I was looking at them for my...sister! For my sister, yeah. She likes Kerropi so…”

“Really? I like Cinnamaroll. He’s the cutest little thing ever.”

Yuto picked up both a Kerropi and Cinnamaroll charm. “I could get it for you if you want.” He said with a sheepish smile.

“You dont have to do that.” I giggled. “It’s more important that your sis-”

Suddenly, the store owner sped towards Yuto, yelling loudly and tugging at his uniform shirt. He was trying to shove Yuto out, accusing him of being a no good thief and that he should be in school. Yuto showed his empty pockets and held his bag out to be inspected but the shop owner wasn’t listening. Yuto turned to me. “Look, fuck this guy. I’ll just wait for you outside, ok?”

“But you havent done anything wrong! I dont understand why-”

“Doesnt matter. He just sees me as a punk kid because i’ve come in here a little banged up before. I’ll wait for you, ok?”

I didn’t have a say in what he was going to do so i didn’t waste my breath. I watched as he set the keychains down and left the store, the owner still yelling after him. I rushed to pay for everything and get back to him. I was riddled with anger and wanted to leave as soon as possible. “That pissed me off so fucking much.” I huffed.

Yuto shrugged and began walking in the direction of his home. “Don’t waste your energy on it. I’m used to it. You and I are a lot more alike than I thought. People shit on us for being so different and they dont even take the time to get to know us. If someone actually cares about me then they’ll show it. Those are the only people I can trust.”

“Do you think you can trust me?” I asked.

“I know I can trust you. You’re the only one who’s given me the time of day and didn’t think I was automatically an asshole. You talked to me and saw me as a person. I’m glad I met you.”

I stared down at my feet, hoping he wouldnt see the blossoming shyness spread across my entire face. I clutched at his arm as we walked, softly speaking. “I’m glad I met you too. You’re my best friend, Yuto.”

“I never thought I would have a best friend...or any friends for that matter.”

“Like you said, you don’t need anyone who doesn’t care about you. It’s us against the world.” It seemed a bit dramatic to say but it truly felt that way. There was no one that i felt could come between us or anything for that matter.

We arrived at Yuto’s home, a worn down small box with tattered screen doors. It shocked me but I didn’t want to say anything. I couldn’t be disrespectful but i was concerned more than anything. “Sorry it’s not fancy like your place.”

“I don’t care about what it looks like, i just want to make sure you’re ok.”

He stayed quiet as he opened the door which worried me further. Inside there were two cramped rooms, one of which was of course Yuto’s. He guided us in and sat against the wall, facing an old square tv that looked like it was salvaged from a junk yard. I sat beside him and set the bag of food down between us. “You forgot to take off your shoes when we came in.”

I immediately looked at my feet. “Oh my god! I’m sorry!” I rushed to take off my loafers but Yuto just chuckled.

“It’s fine, just set them by the bedroom door. I don’t mind.” I set them beside the door while he turned on the small tv, banging it a few times until a clear picture formed. He flicked through the channels until he found the one that showed One Piece. I pulled out the food I had gotten us and handed him a pair of cheap wooden chopsticks. 

“So,” I began. “Judging from your house set up you don’t have a sister, do you?”

He stilled for a moment then sighed. “Is this about the phone charm?”

I pulled out both charms from the shopping bag and held the Kerropi one out to him. “Now we can match. It kind of seems silly but I think it’s cute.” I pulled out my flip phone and threaded the charm through the small hole at the bottom then looked over at him. “Do you not like it?”

Yuto looked over at me, staring at me until nervousness settled in my stomach, almost making nausea hit me like a train. He inched forward, still leaving me to be an unsuspecting mess while his lips fell onto mine. My eyes widened and i completely froze. I had no idea what to do. This was my first kiss ever and it was with my best friend! Before i could even get my thoughts straight, it was over and we were back to being face to face and unsure of everything that transpired. “I’m sorry.” He said softly.

“W-what? I don’t understand…”

“i-I’ve liked you for some time now but...I wasn’t sure how you would feel. I just...i don’t know. I just felt like i shouldve kissed you. I was too afraid to tell you that I liked you. I thought you wouldn’t even give me the time of day.”

“Why would you even think that? I spend all this time with you. I trust you and im happy to see you every day. You’re the best part of my shitty life. And i want to spend it with you.” I settled my hand over his and was the one who leaned in this time, smiling as he grabbed onto my shoulder and held our kiss a little longer. We were lost in our own little world and I could finally be happy in this foreign place.

Suddenly the door slid open, barreling into the door frame and rattling it. Hovering above us was a man who looked just like Yuto, who I could only assume was his father. He was instantly yelling at us and Yuto scrambled to his feet, pulling me up with him. “You need to leave now!!”

“Yuto! What’s going on!?”

“Now!!!” He managed to shove me between the small gap in the door frame and his father. I grabbed my shoes quickly and tried to slip them on but his father was closing in on me as if i was a deadly target. Yuto grabbed onto his arm and i heard a hard thud against his jaw. I screamed after him, hating to see him hurt and wanting to obliterate his father but i was powerless to stop him. I couldn’t take him down or prevent him from hurting the person who I cared about the most. All i could do was stand in horror while Yuto screamed at me to leave. Tears were rolling down my face as i sped out of the home and towards my own. That was the last time I saw him.

--

The streets were bustling, the summer air thick and heavy. Thousands of people crowding the sidewalk didn’t provide any relief either. Lights were flashing everywhere; neon, iridescent, and beckoning. I had no idea what I even wanted to do tonight. A club, a bar, a cafe? I hadn’t been back in a decade- everything seemed new again. Nerve wracking and exciting. I wanted to make new memories. Memories that wouldn’t haunt me and instead make me happy. I wanted to think of Japan as my home away from home. Right now she was still a stranger. I could only see her through the eyes of tourist, which I absolutely hated but it was a start. That’s how I ended up following the crowd, wondering where it would take me. Wreckless? Yes, absolutely. My japanese was still rusty even though I tried my best to pick it up again. Getting lost still and not being able to communicate weighed heavy on my mind. The sense of adventure outweighed my fright and I carried on, looking for my next stop.

My eyes got lost in the crowd every once in awhile, observing the school girls, the punks, the lolitas, and regular office people ebbing and flowing. One particular person caught my eye- he was towering over most everyone, cell phone to his ear. That was when I saw it, a dangling charm nudging across his wrist as he walked. It looked worn, faded, the bright green now a washed out chartreuse. I swallowed hard. It couldn’t be. Of course not. The chances were too miniscule. Besides, Keroppi wasn’t that much of a popular character but I couldn’t get the thought out of my head. Just maybe it could be. I was about to embarrass myself but it was worth a shot.

“Adachi!” I screamed over the roar of the crowd. His head whipped around and my heart stopped. People moved past us and we remained several feet apart. He didn’t look like the Yuto I remembered. He was bigger, definitely. His biceps were struggling to stay beneath his short sleeves, his black denim vest staying open wide against his broad chest and shoulders. His arms were covered fully in tattoos and for a minute I thought I had made a mistake. That was until he speed towards me, his long legs carrying him in quick strides, closing the space between us in seconds. He said my name in that all too familiar honey smooth baritone that made me want to drop to my knees. It sounded deeper than it had in high school, carrying the weight of the unspoken things we wanted to do as teenagers. I looked up at him, a smile forming on both our faces before he squeezed me tight to his tall frame.

“Holy fucking shit!! I can’t believe it’s you! What are you doing here?” He exclaimed. His eyes still remained in a state of disbelief as he looked me over.

My hands rested on his biceps as I still didn’t want to pull away completely. “I-i’m here on vacation. I haven’t been back in years. I wanted to come back and...and make better memories I guess. I never thought I would see you again. Or that you would remember me.” My voice trailed off a bit at the end.

“How could I ever forget you?” The words took me by surprise, as well as his laugh after. “You had the biggest crush on me, remember?!”

I rolled my eyes, pretending playfully that the statement wasn’t true. “You wouldn’t leave me alone and I always had to take care of you because you were a pain in the ass! Always getting into trouble. All I did for that year was clean blood off you with all the fights you got into. Besides you had a crush on me too!!”

“What can I say, you like those bad boy types, don’t you?” He shifted his weight a bit and let out a small chuckle. “What are you doing right now? Going someplace special?”

I shook my head, gently moving him out of the way of the main part of the crowd. He leaned against a street sign as I stayed close to him. “Nothing really. I thought I’d just come here and see what I could find. I got tired of doing tourist shit during the day. I wanted to do something better.”

“You came here alone?” He asked and I nodded. “That’s pretty ballsy for you. Last time I checked your Japanese was shit.”

“Thanks, Asshole.” I replied in his native tongue and he threw back his head and laughed.

“I think I taught you that one.” 

“You did, and now I can use it against you...Also you still have Keroppi.”

His deep brown eyes flew to his cell phone that was clutched in his hand, the slightest tinge of pink decorating his cheeks. He kinda shrugged and didn’t say anything. I smiled and dug into my small purse, pulling out my own cell phone. I held it up to him so he could see the cinnamaroll charm I too had dangling from my phone. It had long lost it’s complete white color, instead getting dirty from it’s time at the bottom of my bag or from being stuffed into the pocket of my jeans. “You’re kidding?” He said, his expressing changing completely. “Why do you still have that?!”

“Why do you still have Keroppi?” I shot back.

He looked away for a moment, pretending to stretch as his free hand rested on the back of his neck. “I...well...I missed what we had...and I was angry that you had left. I didn’t have it on my phone for awhile and I guess...I don’t know really.”

I stared down at my feet. I had never gotten to tell him the reason why I had left so abruptly. I had never wanted to leave him behind, not after everything we had shared together. But i was ripped away from Japan almost as soon as I was implanted there. “I never forgot about you.” I confessed. “I want to apologize for leaving and not getting a chance to say goodbye.”

He shrugged again, trying to keep up his nonchalant facade. “Forget it. It’s cool. You’re here now, so...you wanna go to a bar with me? We’ll drink some beer and get some food.”

“Hell yeah. I haven’t eaten in a bit. Where are you thinking?”

“There’s a spot in Shibuya that’s by my place. We can go there.”

“Perfect. Lead the way.”

He nodded in the direction of the train station and I followed him, holding onto his arm tightly so I wouldn’t lose him again.

--

I tossed back the rest of my third beer almost spitting it out when Yuto brought up another fond memory. “Remember when I made you watch One Piece for the first time and you just had this look on your face like ‘What the absolute fuck?’”

I nodded before swallowing. “I had never watched anime a day in my life. Well I guess Pokemon counts. And Yu-Gi-Oh. But I never did much after. But here you were a secret nerd, drawing in your little sketchbook and wanting to be a famous manga-ka.”

“Yeah, I tossed that shit out when I dropped out of high school.” He sipped on his beer licking the foam from his lips. He picked up his chopsticks, turning the meat on the grill between us so it wouldn’t burn. “Hung around some people I shouldn't have, went to jail for a bit, discovered tattooing and here I am now.”

“Yuto Adachi! You’re insane. What did you go to jail for? I-if you don’t mind me asking.”

He reclined back in his seat and took another swig of his beer. “Petty theft, a few other misdemeanors. Nothing serious. It’s whatever. What did you do, princess? After you left…”

I chewed on an already cooked piece of beef, opening my mouth in between bites to try and cool the burning sensation in my mouth. I swallowed after a minute of chewing and sighed. “My parents died. That’s why I left. It was some freak accident on the plane ride back home. They were going back just for a few days for some medical convention thing. And well...I couldn’t stay here on my own so I got taken back to live with my grandparents.”

“Fuck.” He whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Shit happens. I couldn’t do anything about it. I miss them everyday but time moves on. We move on. But that’s basically why I didn’t say goodbye. It all happened so fast. I didn’t even get a chance to breathe.”

We fell into a heavy silence. Only the sizzling of meat on the grill and the raucous patrons interrupting it. I looked over at him, seeing him watching me, and I felt bad for ruining the mood. “Sorry to be such a downer.” I tried to laugh it off a bit but it was definitely forced.

“Don’t be. Like you said shit happens. You’re here now, right? Dynamic duo back together again. I’ll show you better stuff than that tourist shit.” He split the rest of the beer he had in his glass between us then held it up for me to clink mine against. “Kanpai.”

I repeated the saying and we both swallowed back the golden liquid. “Anyway, after I went back, i finished high school, went to college. Got an office job. You know.”

“Wow, living the boring ass American dream, huh? You got a scrawny white boyfriend to go along with that?”

“Yuto!” I chucked an end piece of beef at him, watching it bounce of his chest and into his lap. He tossed it into his mouth and laughed.

“What? Asians do it better I’m just saying.” He finished off his beer, a smirk resting on his lips as he drank. His eyes locked onto mine and i couldn’t help the blush that creeped onto my face.

“I’ve been free from your annoying ass for years and this is what I get as soon as I come back? Wonderful.”

He rested his elbows on the table leaning towards me a little. “You can get a little more. It’s early, there’s still plenty to do.”

“Like what? You gonna take me to some like kinky Japanese sex club?” I joked.

“If you want to. I have no problem with that. What kinks are you into?”

“Oh my god, i was joking!” I hid my face behind my hands to try and cover up how much redder it was getting. All Yuto did was laugh at me, making me even more embarrassed.

“Me too, I’ll take you to my shop if you want. I got some of my guys there working but I wouldn’t mind taking you to see it.”

“Your shop? Like you own it?”

“Yep. Why? You don’t think I could be a successful business man?” He laughed.

“No...no. I mean...I’m proud of you. Look at you having your shit together, Adachi.”

“Hah! Barely. That’s a fun thought though.” He stood up from his chair and nodded at me to head over to the cashier for us to check out. He pushed my hand away when I offered to pay and instead handed over his card. I didn’t protest much, pretending that i didn’t enjoy free food or when men paid for it. We exited the restaurant and started walking down the streets that were less crowded in the area. All of our careless times together came up. The laughs we had over watching variety shows and anime together in his dark, hole in the wall bedroom. The few times our hands intertwined and the barely there kisses we were too afraid to ever mention. Yuto had always made my heart pound and even now there wasn’t a difference. I watched as he pressed a cigarette between his lips stopping just for a second to light it. I would be definitely pretending if I said that I wasn’t attracted to his bad boy persona. The way he carried himself- defensive yet protective, angry yet passionate, rough yet sensitive, all of those feelings from the past kept rushing back.

When we arrived at his shop there were a few customers towards the back, only separated by small wall barriers. The rest of his crew were in front, laughing over a few beers and practically cheering when he came in. He greeted them with hand slaps and awkward bro hugs while i surveyed the shop. It was cute. The setup seemed more personal rather than stuck up and like a doctor’s office. I overheard some of the guys talking about me, saying not so subtle pervy statements which Yuto shut down immediately. I pretended like I didn’t know a damn thing and let Yuto take my hand and steer me away from them. “Sorry, they’re all idiots.”

I shrugged, laughing a bit. “Don’t worry, I’m just the stupid foreigner. I’m none the wiser.”

“C’mon, don’t say that. You know I don’t think of you that way.” He kissed the back of my hand, deterring my quip. “Do you want to see my office?”

“Yeah, let me see where you work your magic.”

He unlocked a door to the left of us and lead me in. The space was much wider than the rest of the tattooing area and covered in framed artwork that he had done. He had only improved since years past, creating perfect masterpieces of contrasting light, crisp lines, and delicate details. It took my breath away. “Holy fuck.” Was the only way I could of expressing myself.

“What?” He chuckled. “Are the walls too full Does it seem claustrophobic?”

“No, i was actually amazed by your art. You’ve gotten even better since high school. They’re so good.”

“Ehh, it’s nothing fancy. Just kind of how I like to center myself, better than getting in trouble. My office is like my home away from home. Even though my apartment is above the shop.”

I circled around the tattooing bed and peeked into his cabinets of supplies. “Have you ever...fucked anyone here?” I asked cheekily.

“What? No way! One, that’s not sterile. Two, i could lose my license. Three, that’s just gross. Besides, I’m not an out in the open kind of guy. If i’m going to do something it sure as hell wouldnt be in here. Don’t be a perv.”

“I’m joking!” I hit his chest playfully. “I’m just curious about the man you’ve become.”

“What kind of man do you think I am?”

I plastered myself against one of the undecorated walls and stared down at my feet. “I don’t know. I know you’re still caring. And still a trouble maker. And...possibly still a good kisser too.”

“A good kisser? I barely knew what I was doing when we first kissed!”

“It was still nice! It was soft and slow. I liked that.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the counter of his supply space. “Do you...want to maybe find out if i’ve improved?”

“I don’t know. You tell me. We’re bad at flirting.” We both smiled as he stepped closer to me, cupping my face in his hand. He was slow to lower his lips to mine but when he did i clutched onto his shirt, pulling him flush against me. I was crushed between him and the wall, not protesting at all as I liked how strong and sturdy he felt. It was only mere seconds before our kiss got hungrier, deeper, and filled with long overdue moans that drove us wild. We only broke apart to catch our breaths that felt like they had been held for ages.

“Wow…” I whispered.

“What’s the verdict?”

“Definitely still good.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in for another round. His large hands grabbed onto my waist, gripping as tightly as he could and accidentally crashed us into the counter. I felt the corner jab into my back and winced in pain. “Ow! Fuck!”

“Shit! Sorry! Sorry!” He looked around the still tight space. “This isn’t going to work out. Do you maybe want to go upstairs? To my place?”

I smiled a big lovey dovey dopey smile, all giggles and giddiness at the prospect of us finally being together. I nodded quickly and he grabbed onto my hand, pulling me out of the office. We tried to slip away as quietly as we could to Yuto’s apartment, not wanting to let his coworkers see us leave though a few teasing whistles followed us as we went up the flight of stairs. When we arrived at the door, he smoothly set the key in the lock and turned it. His hands weren't shaking at all but it felt like my entire body was rattling in anticipation. Once inside I could barely see as the apartment was so dark. Only haphazardly thrown city lights that fell through the window illuminating the sparsely decorated space. The lack of light didn't bother me much as I would much rather feel my way over his body. I expected him to take control, maybe push me up against the door or wall, pick me up and toss me on the bed, but he just stood there.

His weight shuffled between each foot as his gaze was more occupied by the carpet than me. "Yuto? Are you ok?" I whispered. For some reason it felt like I shouldn't startle him.

"What? Oh, yeah, i-i am…"

"You're not really doing anything...Do you not want to anymore?"

"N-no! No! I do! It's just that…" He sighed and looked like he wanted to shrink away. "I got nervous all of a sudden."

I knew Yuto had a soft side but I felt like he had been so confident back at the restaurant. His nervousness now shocked me. "Nervous? Why?"

"It's been so long. We've...I'm sure we've both wanted this since we were teenagers and now that you're here I don't want to fuck this up."

"What makes you think you will?! Yuto…" I pulled him close to me by his hands. "Yuto...don't think that, ok?" I placed soft kisses on his lips while feeding him comforting words. I didn't want him to feel pressured into perfection. I much preferred us to have a good time and not think about all the events that culminated up to this moment. We never thought that this chance encounter would happen or that we would end up in each other's arms again but now that we were it seemed more like a fantasy than reality. "Just give me you. It's all I want."

He pressed his forehead against mine and held onto my waist once more. "But I want it to be. I want it to be perfect."

"No, don't do that to yourself. I care about us making each other feel good, ok? That's all I want, swear it. Let me make you feel good."

He nodded with a heavy sigh, still a bit tentative. I decided to take over, hoping that catering to him would ease his nerves and spark that bit of confidence in him again. I shifted our positions so that his back was now against the wall as I caressed his chest and covered him in more kisses. Through the desperate battle of our lips I managed to slip my hands under the hem of his shirt and shuffle it upwards. He pulled it off by the collar, tossing it somewhere beside us while I became completely entranced by his toned body. The tight v neck he had worn left nothing to the imagination but seeing every inch of his torso uncovered was much more pleasurable than having a fabric barrier between us. 

I worked my hands over every dip and striation in his muscles before lowering myself slowly, winding kissing in a heated trail down to the waistband of his jeans. When I was on my knees looking up at him, he seemed to want to protest. He gripped onto my shoulder and pushed against me ever so slightly. I ignored him, shoving his hand aside, as I busied myself with unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down to the middle of his thighs. With just enough room to expose the front of his underwear, i began to tease him with coy licks through the fabric. He let out a shaky breath as I started to increase the length of my licks flowing over the beginnings of his hardening cock. I felt the tension in his thighs finally dissipate and with him relaxing more I eased my mouth over his head and sucked slowly.

His large hand pressed into the back of my skull, not too rough or hard but enough to signal that he wanted more. I moved his underwear down to rest above his jeans, licking my lips as I saw him. I bit my lip for just a second, thinking of all the possibilities of what he would make me feel. I wanted to see his full potential and with that I wrapped my lips around him once more, guiding him so he filled my mouth. I increased the speed of my sucks, hollowing out my cheeks and gripping his base loosely. His hips worked against me, creating a flowing rhythm that coaxed soft, deep moans from him. His voice was like silk; a sensual melody that made goosebumps spread across my arms. I had always had a secret attraction to his voice but hearing it in this manner had me pressing my thighs together.

His fingertips dug into my scalp as his fingers clenched harder around my hair. His thrusts were becoming greedier as he arched his body from the wall. I looked up at him at the same moment he had happened to look down at me. Though i was hard to flex my occupied mouth into a smile, I was sure he could at least see how much I was beaming. He let out a small gasp and turned away then, shying away again. I released him, licking my lips to clear the saliva linked between us. I fisted my hand over his shaft instead, working tight strokes over his length. “Are you going to be shy all night, Mr. Beefy Tattoo Artist Man?”

“S-shut up.” He grumbled. “I’m not shy…”

I tried to hide my giggle as much as possible, knowing he was trying to keep up his tough act and failing miserably. I gave his tip as quick kiss before I rose to my feet. “I think the blush on your cheeks say otherwise.” I teased as I grabbed his hand. I tugged him forward, working my way through his apartment in search of his bedroom.

He ignored my little taunt and instead guided me in the direction of his room, all while trying to keep his pants up. I opened the door and he let my hand go to head over to the small lamp by his bed. He flicked it on and kicked off his jeans before plopping down on the mattress. He reclined back on his arms, legs slightly open and gave me the once over. “I don’t think it’s fair that you’re still dressed.”

“Oh? You dont?” I chuckled. “Does that mean I should do one of those cheesy strip teases where I toss my bra at you?”

“No way!” A big grin crossed his face as he grabbed onto my wrist and yanked me to stand between his thighs. “You’re such a dork, you know that?.”

I pushed his long jet black bangs away from his face and kissed his forehead. “Well, duh. Wait,” A question suddenly popped into my train of thought. “Do you still watch One Piece?”

“We’re about to fuck and that’s what you ask me?” He said, incredulously.

“I’m just curious! I dont know...I remembered when we were in your room and we were watching it together and I gave you the phone charm. And then we had our first kiss.” I shrugged meekly and buried my head in his chest. I was now tha one who was embarrassed that I had brought up such a dumb question at a time like this.

He kissed the top of my head and chuckled. “Trust me, I’ve never forgotten that day. And to answer your question, yes I still do.”

“Is it still on tv?!”

“Not really but the manga continued so i read that online. It’s never gonna stop, I swear. I think theres like over 800 chapters or something.”

“Who goes on that many pirate adventures?! Why in the world would-” I stopped myself as I realized if I kept talking we were going to end up on a tirade about anime. “Sorry, this isn’t really the best dirty talk, huh?”

He smiled and ran his hands over my hips. “Honestly, you’re still turning me on. I’m not that great at dirty talk anyway. I think I sound weird. I like having a nice conversation instead. Takes away from me feeling so tense.” He slipped a couple of fingers beneath my chin, raising my head to feed me a round of kisses. This time they were a bit more gentler, slower even. My heart warmed at his tenderness, fluttering a bit when the tip of his tongue grazed against my bottom lips as if he was asking for permission to deepen the kiss. I parted my lips and leaned into him more. He lowered himself back on the mattress, letting me straddle his hips and give him room to slide his hands beneath my shirt. His brushed his hands up and down my sides, flowing upwards every so often to cup my breasts and knead them within his long fingers. I tried to bite back a small moan but it escaped into his mouth and caused a chain reaction of sensations. His hips bucked up between my thighs and I could feel his hardness against the center of my jeans. His thumbs trapped my nipples in a small and tantalizing pinch and his teeth sunk into my lip and tugged on it slightly.

“Take this off.” He whispered against my jaw that he began to turn his attention to. He grabbed at my shirt and i sat back on his hips, separating us for a moment to pull it over my head. My bra came next, letting me be completely open to stare at. He used his strength to toss me down, hovering over me this time. With my body now more exposed for him, his tongue was much more enthusiastic about sliding over my chest and capturing my nipple between his lips. I eased into a sigh, falling into the bliss of the simplistic movement. His fingers trickled down my stomach before hooking onto the button of my jeans. He flicked it open and slid the zipper down to give space for his hand to fall beneath my panties. I inched my legs apart more and set one hand on the back of his head and the other to hold onto his broad shoulder. I felt his middle finger move between my lower lips, stroking the length of it and coming back to circle around my clit. I breathed out his name as my nails sunk into his skin, trying to ground myself into reality before I lost it completely.

"This ok?" He murmured once his lips left one of my nipples. I found it strange that he was checking in on me- no one had really done that for me before, especially when going so slow.

"Ah...um, yeah. Why wouldn't it be?" I asked.

He hid behind his bangs that had fallen over his forehead again. "I don't know," he shrugged. "Just figured I'd ask."

"I swear I'm ok. I'm not a delicate flower, you should know that by now." I joked.

"Yeah, don't punch me in the nose please."

"You're the one who taught me how to fight anyway." We smiled as I gripped onto my underwear and jeans and slid them off. "This is better. More room for your big ass hand and long fingers."

"A-ah...well…"

I hooked my leg around his waist and set his hand back between my thighs. "Keep going...please."

He sighed softly and slipped back into his motions, coating his fingers with my cum and working long strokes over me. I wiggled my hips in time with him, creating more heated friction that made my stomach clench. Soon enough he pushed a solitary finger inside, pressing me open just a bit and curling against my sensitive walls. I could feel his eyes raking over me; the way my back arched and hands flowed over my chest. A rumble came from deep within his throat and suddenly I could feel his breath ghosting over my clit. The heat of his tongue enveloped me while his finger still worked away, another one being added to the mix. I moved one of my hands to grip his hair, wanting his tongue to be engraved into my skin. He was cautious with his licks too, easing the tip of his tongue up and down almost in time with his fingers. I had never been blessed with someone as attentive as him. Every detail mattered.

His knuckles nudged against my entrance, signaling that all of the length of his fingers was inside me. The tips of his fingers were circling around an extremely delicate area which made a shrill moan escape me. It was similar to a childish squeak and I didn’t know that I could even make that sound, let alone embarrass myself even further. I felt him chuckle against me in a self satisfactory and smug kind of way. I tugged on his hair as a little payback and instead of a protest I got a little growl from him. Fever washed over me like a torrid wave, flowing with the tease of an orgasm. My thighs clamped around his head, making me feel like I was suffocating him but I couldnt help it. Gone was my sense of coherence as his tongue wiggled its way in beside his fingers and made me lose control. My legs tensed around him tighter, my fingers dug into his scalp, and my breath was completely gone. I felt him tap the side of my thigh as he wanted release. I eased myself down and unlocked my vice grip on him, allowing him to surface again.

“You trying to kill me?” He chuckled as he licked his lips.

“S-sorry.” I panted. “I couldn’t help it!”

He crawled on top of me, only lowering his head for a kiss. “Well, i’m glad you enjoyed it, babe. I could probably get used to suffocating between your thighs anyhow.”

I smushed his head away playfully and turned onto my stomach. "Get out of here!"

"Now who's the shy one?" I felt him work kisses down my spine, swirling patterns into my skin every few vertebrae. His hands smoothed over my hips, gently rubbing over them before cupping my ass.

"I'm not being shy!" I said, slightly muffled by the pillow I was gripping onto. "You're just...hmm…" I tried to wiggle away but he wrapped his arms around my ribcage and held me against his chest. I could feel his hardness poking at the junction of my thighs, teasing me with its subtle throbbing and neediness.

"I'm what?" He squeezed me tighter as he buried his face in my neck, distracting me with pecks.

"You're just...you know...good. You feel good. You feel like how I always dreamt you would." I slid my hand over his and intertwined our fingers tightly.

"I could say the same about you. Though you feel way way way more amazing." He kissed the back of my hand and pulled away for a moment to reach under his bed.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Getting a condom from my bin, why?"

"Why is it under your bed?!" I nudged him.

"It's my secret stash, okay! Leave me alone." He laughed and sat back up on the bed as he ripped open the foil.

"Who are you keeping secrets from, huh?" I asked as I booped his nose.

"No one! I told you I don’t like being out in the open!" He wrinkled his nose and shifted away from me to pull the condom on.

"Oh? What kind of other stuff you got in there, huh? Let me see!" I dove forward and tried to take a peek under his bed but Yuto grabbed me and pinned me down, using all his weight on top of me.

"Dont be such a pain in the ass!"

I nudged my ass back against him, giving it a little wiggle. "Maybe i like being a pain in the ass!" I teased. It was fun having banter like this. It felt so natural; i was with my best friend after all. We were all too comfortable with each other and that made every passing moment, every giggle, every kiss and squeeze all the better. I was still laughing but Yuto had quieted down. Instead of poking fun, his hands wrapped around my hipbones. He jerked my body onto its knees and i could feel him sliding through the wetness he had created. I pursed my lips, instantly shutting up as my breath stilled. My eyes fluttered shut, closing out the rest of the world and only focusing on him. I could no longer hear the buzzing of tattoo machines downstairs or how loud his coworkers laughed. Yuto's soft whispers of praises were the only thing floating around my head.

He splayed one of his hands on my lower back, adding just a bit of force so i dipped my stomach towards the bed. His other hand nudged between us to line himself up with my awaiting eagerness, guiding his head in. We both sucked in a harsh breath that seemed to be held until he was full seated inside. Neither of us moved; it was as if time had stopped and both of us hadnt changed. "Y-you ok?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"Ye-yeah. It's fine. Totally fine." I looked back at him over my shoulder. "Go ahead and move.”

He nodded, accepting my permission. His thighs wedged between my own, forcing my legs apart wider. He pulled back, readying his first thrust and when he returned it was like i could feel every inch within the pit of my stomach. My fingers clenched around the pillow as I was stunned by how deep he was getting. Even with such little time connected together I could feel my nerves rocketing under my skin. Something about the way his hands seemingly never wanted to leave my body or the way he kept forcing my hips back against him to keep the perfect rhythm between us was making me a frenzied mess. Every slam of my ass against his hips was like heaven, which seemed silly for me to say. The past men in my life were selfish and nothing to brag about. But with Yuto it was like he was worshiping me, treating me like a queen who deserved to feel nothing but pleasure.

I shuddered when I felt his lips ghost over my spine. He kissed each vertebrae as he made his way up towards my neck when his lips resided against my ear. The softness of his labored breaths filled my eardrum and made me freeze under him. “I cant believe you feel this good.” His voice was trembling slightly as he worked through his thrusts, his bashfulness surfacing again. He had pockets of confidence but more waves of shyness which was how he always was. A defender and fighter for me and for himself but the softest angel beneath. Perhaps that was what made me fall in love in the first place.

“Years of thinking about you just like this probably gave me some practice.” I chortled but still was completely serious.

“You thought about me when you touched yourself?” He asked, astonished.

“Almost always, though it was a bit hard to picture what you looked like as an adult. I was able to still imagine what you would feel like. But you beat my expectations.” I bit onto my bottom lip as i rolled myself back against him, the tip of his cock teasing the beginnings of my entrance just a bit.

“You thought about the way I’d feel right here?” His hand pressed against my lower stomach, pairing with a swift thrust. “Or maybe here?” He traversed lower to circle the pads of his fingertips over my clit bringing a sharp gasp out of me. I nodded, pathetically admitting more to my dirty little secret that only seemed to entice him more. “I like that...:” His deep voice was accompanied by a long lick to the shell of my ear. His teeth dug into the tender cartilage, a hidden turn on of mine. His movements became stronger and it felt as if the bed was shifting beneath us. I pulled the pillow taught against my chest, clutching onto it for dear life as if it would keep me grounded and hold out long enough for a full explosion of desire. Through his sturdy plunges his fingers remained giving attention to my sensitive bud, a bit haphazard but still focused enough to make my toes plant themselves into the mattress. I brought my hand down to cover his, guiding him into the motions that I wanted a bit better. All the attention was making me a puddle of lust that was ready to dive headfirst into losing control.

“Yuto.” I whimpered. “P-please…”

He stopped suddenly and pulled away before shifting me onto my back. He grabbed my jaw firmly, forcing me to look at him. “I want to see you when you do.”

My eyes widened in surprise as his erotic statement, never expecting him to utter such a thing. A small smirk crossed his lips which folded over mine, prying into my mouth and bringing our tongues together. He shifted himself to fall back into my heat while his hand left my face and tangled our fingers together. I squeezed his hand and wrapped my legs around his torso as beads of sweat formed at my temples. He was everything I needed in this moment, or rather my life but i wasnt sure how to face those feelings yet. In two weeks I would leave but now I had a reason to stay. I couldn’t leave for fear of not seeing him for another ten years. Tears prickled behind my eyelids and i tried to will them away. I couldn’t be enveloped by sadness when i was the happiest i’ve ever been.

Yuto left my lips with a small nibble and moved his kisses down to my chest. He infused the valley between my breasts with rushed presses, shifting to wraps his lips around my nipple again and suck deeply. My body arched into his, falling into temptation as my thighs squeezed his torso. His free hand cupped my other breast, pinching the nipple to life. I wrapped my arm under his, my fingers extending over the muscles that rippled beneath his skin with every thrust he made. The swelling of his hardness only stretched me further, making me clamp down and force him to work through the tightness. His lips left my chest only to utter my name in a staggered breath. He lifted his head to see my eyes flutter close. His thumb returned to my clit, more vigorous in its fevered circles but not having to work long before i gave in. Everything rushed out of me; tension, my orgasm, my breath, his name. It was all gone in seconds and his gaze never left me. He placed a kiss on my forehead before burying himself in my neck. 

He slipped his arm across my lower back, lifting my hips while i propped myself on my elbows. He rutted his hips in rough circles, gaining speed as he got closer to his own orgasm. Him fucking me just like this was a perfect contrast to us making love and the most delicious ending to our night. I held his head against my neck, nesting my fingers in his hair and assuring him that I wanted him to cum for me, cum hard and cum fast. His hold on me tightened and i was suddenly filled with heat spreading within me. We stayed together for a bit, holding onto each other before the fatigue set in big time. Slowly, we eased onto our backs, laying beside one another with our hands still being held between us.

“Damn,” Yuto chuckled. “You’re making me wish you could stay here forever.”

The sad realization returned and i let go of him to try and distance the feelings that were wedged between us. “I’m only here for two weeks…”

“Yeah? Well at least that’s two weeks of us...you know.” He gave me a wink but noticed my somber demeanor. “What’s wrong?”

“Yuto, I…” I took a deep breath and barely wanted to exhale. “I’ve been in love with you since we were kids. During the decade we were apart I tried to love other people but you were always in the back of my mind. I’m not sure if it was the same for you but now that we’ve somehow met again I don’t know what to do. When i go back home I’ll just miss you again.”

“I didn’t really want to think about this because it hurts too much. I don’t know what to do either. I want you here but we both have lives in different parts of the world. I can’t ask you to up and leave just to be with me. And i have my business here.”

“We’d be so far apart. What if I don’t see you again for another decade?” I sniffled.

“Babe,” He sighed and pulled me to him. “I won’t let that happen. Not again. Our parents aren’t hovering above us anymore. We’re free now. It will be hard but...if you want it then let’s do it.”

“I do want it but...i’m scared.”

“Scared? Of what?”

“Of losing you. I have no idea when I’ll see you again.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.” He said. “Remember how I fought for you all those years ago? Nothing’s changed. I wont ever let you go.”