#and well... I think maybe that's why I've grown to like my site

[birds-for-brains]

Not gonna lie, being an artist is the weirdest thing in the world - sometimes, you'll just be there, pondering why you can't draw something as simple as a hand or a straight line, and then your new interests just make you feel like you can draw literally ANYTHING- Only for you to crash land on Earth again and repeat the cycle with different stuff... tragic, yet comedic at the same time. It's an irony we eventually get used to, or stop realizing it, at least. That's, on another note, a reason why I don't like social media posting either... it gets me to witness the literal ups and downs, when in reality I should just be focusing on enjoying what I make, good or bad. And when I try to figure out why people aren't enjoying the changes in my stuff, or why I'm losing "engagement", my brain just fries, since I've just been doing the same stuff... and I say that as someone who used to be really active on other socials. I wanna find enjoyment in art, coding and music again. Not in the social media sense, but the creation sense. Not feel pressured to post it, but allow myself to vibe with its creation.

[multiverse-imagines]

A request from SkyDragonGrandeeny of ao3!!

I've seen in the show that Vash has a lotta of scars, and he claims their symbols of his unrelenting mercy, even against enemies who try and kill him (thanks knives ya jerk). I also heard he doesn't like girls to see them, since he believes it would gross them out or they would run away at the site.

Since Vash is a adorable dork, I would love a fluff story when the reader discovers the scars, like maybe he took a shower like in the show and had no shirt on afterwards; but instead of any kind of disgust, reader is instead worried for Vash. Afterwards with reassurance he's fine, reader is becomes flustered/shy because Vash is a lot more ripped/stronk looking then expected. oh and yknow his shirts off oops. (That red coat hides how much muscle he has like oh lawd-)

A/N: I'll never get tired of writing for Vash's scars! It makes me love him even more 🥰

Just For You

"Why don't you grab your little boyfriend, and tell him dinner is ready?"

"S-sure, Granny!" Your face tinted red as you led yourself out of the dining room where you had just set the table for dinner, and up to Vash's room.

With a quick knock, you entered to see Vash standing in only a pair of sweatpants, prosthetic arm in hand, his body paused in the motion to put it back in place. A towel was draped around his neck.

"Vash, dinner is...O-Oh… S-sorry." Was all you could muster out. You wanted to just say dinner was ready and leave him be, but something froze your feet in place. You took in the sight of his eyes closing, and jamming the prosthetic arm into place. He rolled his shoulder and wiggled his fingers to recalibrate.

"I didn't think you'd get to see me without a shirt this early." His voice broke the silence. You'd only been traveling for seven months, and dating for one. How you had never seen him without a shirt in that time was beyond you, but he had told you his body wasn't worth seeing.

"Told you It's not pretty." He said as if he'd been reading your mind.

You had always thought he would be lanky, much like an old T-shirt left on a clothesline, but you didn't realize how right you were in a much different way.

An astonishing amount of scars riddled his body. Some long, some thick, some small lines, others appeared to be large patchy chunks that skin had grown back over time.

Stunned by the sheer amount of them, you hardly felt your body move to him, your hands nearly touching them, but stopping short. It was as if you were to touch him, he would crumble away.

"You can touch them, ya know." He softly whispered, which still caused you to visibly jump. Giving him a quick glance of eye contact, you began tracing along the large scar that disappeared over his shoulder.

You felt the ragged skin that bordered his prosthetic arm, and traced along the long thin scar that resided there. The metal grate covering his missing pectoral was cold to the touch, and still damp from his shower.

"This is what I get for not killing my opponents. I show them mercy, let them live their lives, and I take the damage." He maintained his whisper as your hands continued to explore his torso.

You wondered if he remembered the story behind each one, not that you would ever ask him to retell such traumatic events. How many were there in total? How many more would he obtain before someone got a lucky shot and killed him?

You made your way to see all of the scars on his back as well. There were so many more. Another grate under his right arm, two metal pieces like bolts in his side, a triangular metal plate on his scapula.

"You don't deserve that." Your eyes were plastered with sadness, not looking up at him, "I'm glad you don't kill, but… this. This is so much." You laced your arms around to his front, pressing your face into his back in a hug, "Do they hurt?"

"Only when it gets a little too cold out, or when I have nightmares of the injury. It's nothing compared to the phantom pains in my arm though…" he paused with a disgruntled hum, realizing that maybe he was opening up too much too soon. A pause between the two of you felt like a whole hour, but was merely a moment.

"Please stop letting yourself get hurt." You squeezed his waist, a slight tremble beginning to form within you, "You're just as important as all of those people you save, ya know? Especially…" to me, is what you couldn't say to him yet, "You can't save the world if you're dead, Angel." You recovered.

"M'not gonna die." You could practically hear the rolling of his eyes.

"Yeah, you're too stubborn for that." You gave his waist another squeeze, only to finally feel the muscles underneath. You took a step back, and took a second to see his rippling muscles beneath the battlefield of scars. His back was well defined, noting every curve of his body.

You didn't know how you never noticed how well defined his body was. He always wore baggy clothes, much like the gray sweatpants that were sitting a little too low for your little heart to handle.

You wondered if it was: 1) to throw people off, 2) because he was tall and no fitting medium fits a tall man like him, or 3) to be comfy and not so sweaty in the blistering heat. Whatever it was, you were beginning to enjoy that this was a show that only you had tickets to see right now.

"It's not that I'm stubborn." He turned around to face you once again, and you couldn't help but notice the little muscles under his ribs, and the sheer sculpture of his upper arms, "it's just that I've got someone to look after now, ya know?"

You were too absorbed in viewing his chiseled abs, and starting to wonder where that little V of his hips led to, when he lifted your chin to create eye contact, "So I'll do my best not to get hurt anymore. Just for you, Mayfly." He had this smirk on his face that had 'I caught you looking' written all over his face.

"Good. I'll hold you to it." Your face heated up instantly at his expression, he laughed

[andopandor]

Rebound/Be Round

A gay gainer story

---

"He's fucking shallow. Fuck him," Emmett mutters to himself as he downs yet another beer.

The bartender watches the dejected university student sympathetically from behind the counter. With his job, you learn to recognize the characteristic signs of heartbreak. Emmett is a young man of average height, with brown eyes and a bit of a beer belly. Handsome, if a bit disheveled at the moment. At Emmett's request, the bartender dutifully brings another pint.

Emmett gratefully accepts the drink and glances around the bar, hoping that nobody he knows will see him like this. He sees a tall, broad-shouldered man around his age sitting in the corner, messy brown hair and a day's worth of stubble on his jawline. Emmett tries to figure out why the man looks so familiar...

---

Across the room, Jack is drinking after a long day on the construction site. It's Friday, and payday, and he's taken the opportunity to get a little drunk. He looks up and notices a man staring at him from the barstools. Jack also needs a moment before realizing it's Emmett, his best friend from high school. He'd grown some facial hair and a bit chubbier, but he had the same warm eyes and cute face.

Jack stands and finds his way through the crowded bar. When he finally reaches the counter, he smiles widely. "Hey buddy! It's been way too long," he says. "How's life treating you these days? Still studying engineering?"

They had gone separate ways after high school, when Emmett left town for university while Jack continued into trades. They'd kept in touch on social media, but only barely.

Emmett sighs, a sadness in his eyes that's unfamiliar to Jack. "Oh, you know, same old, same old," he says, half-heartedly returning Jack's smile. "Just been buried in textbooks and papers lately." He gestures vaguely at the bar and the beer in front of him. "Needed a break, I guess."

Jack leans in, looking concerned. "Hey, you know you can talk to me about anything, right? I mean, I know it's been a while since we've chatted, but you're still my oldest friend. What's really going on?"

Emmett glances around the bar before finally meeting Jack's eyes. "It's just... things with Mark. He broke up with me."

"Oh," Jack says, surprised. "I'm so sorry to hear that, man. When did that happen?"

Emmett shrugs, looking down at his beer. "A couple of days ago. I thought things were going well, but yeah, no. He was seeing someone else behind my back."

Jack winces. "No way man. You're smart, attractive, funny... He's seriously giving up on the perfect man."

"It's just... he said..." Emmett hesitates, but Jack encourages him to continue. "It's just he said I was gaining too much weight." He takes a long sip of beer, trying to push the emotions back down. "I mean, I know I've put on a few pounds since first year, but come on. I've always been a bigger guy. It's not like I've changed as a person."

Jack's face darkens. "What a piece of shit. You deserve so much better." He puts a hand on Emmett's shoulder. "You know I've got your back, buddy, right?" He looks at his friend thoughtfully, trying to find the right words to comfort him. "Besides, the weight... looks good on you," he finally says, blurting out the words without quite meaning to. "You've always been bigger than the average guy, and it's, uh, it's attractive." He flushes. "I mean, not that I'm into, you know... just... never mind."

Emmett looks up at Jack, slightly confused. He searches Jack's face for any sign of insincerity, but there is none. "Thanks Jack, I appreciate it," he says, eager to move past the awkward moment. "It's just been tough lately, you know?" He takes another sip of beer. "But it's nice to have someone to talk to about it."

Jack nods, thinking. "Hey, I know it's late, but do you maybe wanna grab dinner? We have a lot to catch up on. Besides, you shouldn't be drinking alone at a time like this." He gives Emmett a reassuring smile. "My treat."

"Sure, dinner sounds great... I am getting hungry. Thanks, Jack."

"Great! There's an amazing Italian restaurant just down the block."

They both finish their beers and head out into the cool evening. As they walk to the restaurant, Emmett already begins to look a bit more cheerful. Jack steals sidelong glances at his old friend. He would never say it out loud, but Emmett does seem a lot thicker than he was at their graduation.

---

The Italian restaurant is bustling with activity, the scent of olive oil and garlic filling the air. The men find their way to a cozy booth in the back and glance over the menu, considering what to order. Emmett's stomach rumbles as he reads. Jack pretends not to notice, but assures Emmett that he can order whatever he wants - it's payday after all.

But when the waiter arrives, Emmett only orders a side salad. Finding this strange, Jack orders the Chef's Special, which includes three different kinds of pasta and nearly half a loaf of garlic bread.

Emmett seems shocked by the size of the order. "You sure you can handle all that, Jack?" he asks with a chuckle.

Jack only grins. "Oh, I've got a big appetite tonight, Emmett. And I figure if I don't finish, I can ask a friend for help."

As they wait for their food, they continue to talk and catch up, laughing and teasing each other like old times. For both of them, it had been a long time since they felt this comfortable around someone. Jack hadn't realized how much he had missed Emmett.

Halfway through his meal, Jack pushes his plate away, unable to eat another bite. Emmett had finished his salad long ago. He looks longingly at Jack's plate, still piled with food.

Jack laughs. "Please, help yourself! I'm finished."

Emmett gratefully pull's Jack's plate over, beginning to dig into the delicious pasta. "Thanks Jack," he says between bites. "I haven't been eating much since... well, the breakup. But this food is really good."

Jack leans back in the booth, watching Emmett eat with a satisfied smile. "No worries, buddy. You don't want to waste away just because of that jerk. You deserve to have a proper meal and to feel good about yourself again."

Emmett shrugs, but continues devouring the pasta.

"You know," Jack says, then hesitates. He never would say this sober. But he's not. "I think you're perfect just the way you are. And I'm not just saying that because of what Mark said. One of these days you'll meet someone who appreciates you for you."

Emmett looks up from his food, giving Jack a skeptical look. "Maybe," he admits, "but I doubt it." He sighs. "I mean you're like the only one who thinks that. Too bad you're straight..."

Jack looks into Emmett's eyes, considering. The noise of the restaurant around him fades away.

"Actually," he says, taking a deep breath. "I'm bisexual."

Emmett pauses mid-chew. "Really??"

Jack nods, swallowing hard. "I've never really told anyone. But... you've been honest with me and I wanted to be honest with you." He gently touching Emmett's hand. "I know you're still getting over Mark, and if you're not interested, that's okay. But I just wanted to tell you."

Emmett stares at their joined hands for a long moment, then up at Jack eyes. "I mean..." he trails off, trying to process this information. "I mean I've kind of always had a crush on you , you know."

Jack smiles shyly. He leans in closer. "And I mean it when I say you've gotten so much hotter since we graduated," he says, glancing down at Emmett's belly. "It's really fucking sexy actually."

Emmett feels a blush creep up his neck. He searches Jack's eyes, finding only honesty and desire. He takes a shuddering breath. "You really mean that?" he whispers.

"I really do," Jack says, his voice low and husky. "You're so gorgeous, Emmett. And I've kind of been fantasizing about something." He leans in even closer, whispering. "I wanna feed you."

Emmett nods slowly, strangely excited by Jack's desires. He had always been concerned with keeping thin, but now... a thrill runs through him. "You'd... you'd want to do that? You'd like me.. that way?"

"Yeah," Jack says, touching Emmett's thigh under the table. "I want to see you eat, to see you grow."

Emmett swallows hard, feeling heat pooling in his groin. "Okay," he breathes. "Okay, let's do it." He takes in the surroundings, trying to compose himself. "But c'mon Jack, not now. We're in public."

Jack laughs. "Fine," he says, leaning back. "My place is just a few blocks from here."

---

After Jack settles the bill, Emmett follows Jack back to his apartment. The warmth inside him abates the cold night air. The pasta settles comfortably in his belly, and, for the first time, he isn't worried that he's eaten too much. As they step into Jack's living room, he can't help but notice how it's much cozier than Mark's bleak minimalist apartment.

Jack turns to face Emmett. "So," he says, noticeably excited, "are you ready to eat?"

Jack has never really cooked for another man before, but he's eager to show off his culinary skills. He fries up some bacon and creamy chicken with mashed potatoes. He also throws a batch of chocolate chip cookies in the oven, for good measure. The aromas fill the air, making Emmett's mouth water in anticipation.

"There you go," Jack says, placing a plate in front of Emmett and sitting down across from him.

"Uh... can I get a fork?" Emmett asks.

Jack smirks. "No. That's my job." He uses his own fork to scoop up some food from the plate. "Open wide."

Emmett dutifully opens his mouth and takes a bite of bacon, savoring the taste. It's very tasty, and he can't help but feel pleased knowing that Jack prepared this meal just for him. "This is amazing," he manages to mumble between mouthfuls.

Jack beams. "I'm glad you're enjoying it." He continues to feed Emmett as the chubby man rubs his belly contentedly.

Many bites later, Emmett moans. "Okay, I'm stuffed. I really couldn't eat anymore."

Jack coaxes another scoop of mashed potato in Emmett's mouth. "Are you sure?"

"Seriously," Emmett groans with his mouth full. He pats his bloated stomach. "I'm packed ."

Jack nods. "Okay, fine," he says reluctantly. "You can go lie down on the couch to digest. I'll join you in a minute."

Emmett stumbles into the living room, feeling rounder and heavier than he's ever been. He collapses into the soft couch, stomach aching but satisfied. He releases a belch and massages his belly, unbuttoning his jeans to give it some more room.

Several minutes pass, and Emmett begins to wonder where Jack is. Soon enough, the brawny man comes into the room with a tray of fresh cookies. "I hope you have room for dessert," he smirks.

Emmett knows he shouldn't but... they look and smell so good. "Ughhh," he groans. "Just one, okay?"

Jack settles beside Emmett. God, he looks big, sprawled out on the couch like this. Jack massages the man's hairy belly where it peeks out from above his jeans. With his other hand, Jack gently touches a cookie against Emmett's lips.

Emmett savours the warm soft dough on his tongue. "Alright, this is fucking delicious," he sighs.

"Thanks," Jack smiles. "You know, I just... like taking care of you." He glances up at Emmett and brushes a crumb out of his beard. "I never want to stop caring for you."

Emmett's heart skips a beat. "I don't want you to, Jack," he whispers. He reaches out, tracing a finger along Jack's jawline.

Jack closes his eyes, leaning into Emmett's touch. "Good," he breathes, his voice low and husky. "Because I want to do so much more than just feed you."

Jack moves his hand down the trail of hair leading towards Emmett's crotch, feeling Emmett's dick grow hard against his belly. They lean closer to each other, their lips mere inches apart.

"Show me." Emmett whispers.

The men's lips lock in a heated kiss, desperate from years of pent-up desire. Their bodies press against each other, Jack's sculpted by manual labour and Emmett's swollen with beer and high-calorie food. Jack's hands roam up and down Emmett's shirt, grabbing his lovehandles and playing with his bellybutton.

Emmett moans against Jack's lips, feeling new sensitivity in his engorged gut. Every inch of him tingles with pleasure as Jack's hands explore his figure.

Jack pulls away from the kiss for a moment, panting heavily as he gazes at Emmett's enlarged stomach. He undoes the buttons of Emmett's shirt and tosses it aside. His fingers are cool against heated skin as they trace circles around his navel. And then lower, down the curve of his belly.

"God, you're so hot," Jack murmurs, continuing to tease and touch. His fingers venture lower still, wrapping around Emmett's aching erection. Emmett moans deeply as Jack begins to stroke.

"That's it," Jack whispers. "Let me take care of you." Emmett feels Jack's breath hot against his chest as the man begins to kiss his neck, his nipples, his belly button. All the while continuing to stroke Emmett's cock. He feels about to explode.

Just when Emmett thinks he can't take it anymore, Jack lips are back on his lips, Jack's eyes staring deep into his.

"Cum for me," Jack whispers. Emmett reaches orgasm and shoots over his bloated belly.

Emmett collapses back against the couch, spent and satisfied. He sighs. "That was... amazing."

Jack kisses Emmett again. "We're not done yet."

"We're not?"

Jack laughs. "There are still eleven cookies left."

[ominous-feychild]

✦ HEIGHT COMPARISON ✦

Thanks for the tag, @yourpenpaldee!

RULES:

Use this site to compare the heights of your OCs.

I'm not going to lie, I have mixed feelings about this tag, haha. I mean, it was pretty fun in a lot of ways! But the website was also laggy and, uh... diverse body types and stuff? Definitely not, whoops.

On a more positive note! I decided on the colors for each of these characters a while ago, and this is also a cool way so show them off! Tell me what you think of everyone's colors, and if I did a good job making them distinct from one another!

(The amount of my characters I saw related to blue without even realizing it... I had to move some to shades of purple!!!)

SUN AND SHADOW

This one was disappointing in body types both for ridiculous reasons (why no harpy for poor Crow? 😂) aaaand... a lot more valid ones. Like, okay, there wasn't a single icon for a person with a cane. Not even for a thin one! So instead we just got Soren with his hands in his pockets.

THE ARCANE RIFTS

Large cast, sorry guys! 😂 Believe it or not, I actually made a separate one with a few more of the characters if you guys want me to post it separately! I just didn't want to crowd this post up any more than it already will be, haha.

Gene is a smol boy, both from genetics (😉) and malnutrition, whoops. Although they won't show up in the Arcane Rifts (or... not any time soon? 👀), I have a lot of Gene's family built out and they're all pretty short, haha. So it was a given he would be, too! Thennnnn there was also the "no option for a cane" thing. 😑

Adilzhan, on the other hand, has always been planned out to be gigantic, haha. If there were any harpy icons, I could've done one for him and shown another reason this man is considered to be hulking! Dude's terrifying, I love him. 10/10.

This is the kids' fully-grown heights btw! Obviously seven-year-old Gene isn't 5'3, haha. He'll only be that tall later into book 2.

RISING FROM THE ASHES

Another place the lack of diverse icons reallllly didn't vibe well with me, oops. Guqayya wears a headscarf for religious reasons, but there weren't any avatars with it and, well... idk, maybe she's not a real person, but I really don't like having anything representing her without one.

Sammy, on the other hand? Great, 10/10, haha. One of the Things™ about him is that he looks much younger than he actually is, and one of the ways that shows is in his height! He's actually 15, though, he just absolutely does not look it, haha. Poor kid.

Also it greatly amuses me that not only is Caron not that tall (meanwhile his son towers above him), but Guqayya is taller than him. Cranky old healer lady ftw am I right?

(More seriously, it amuses me because he's a super intimidating presence. Tbh he's got a lot of muscle--though he hides it under loose-fitting clothes--and he's got a lot of other factors that makes him more intimidating. Like, famous and known to lead a knight's college for one. But also he's got a generally very collected manner, doesn't really show his emotions, and--oh, right. Is powerful enough magically that he radiates an aura of power, haha. Still! It's so funny to picture that in an otherwise almost average-height man! I think it's not done that often tbh.)

ALL MAIN CHARACTERS

Aaaand the actual main characters of each of the stories! (Well, technically minus the MCs of the later books of tAR, but that's not really relevant, so--)

Turns out my MCs tend to be kinda short, haha. Oh, well! I think I did a great job diversifying the colors for them, though, so hopefully it'll be easy to distinguish when I start making posts about them again!

Despite the lack of diversity, I did mostly have fun with this tag! It's interesting looking at the characters' heights actually put side-to-side visually like this--I've never gotten to see it before, haha.

Also, this might've let me mess with the numerical heights to better match those that I saw visually occurring between the characters... I'm not that great at converting numbers to distance in my mind. The aphantasia doesn't help, whoops.

I'm proud that it seems I've done a decent job of varying the heights and generally making them accurate to irl averages, though!

Tagging (gently!!!): @the-golden-comet @darkandstormydolls @the-letterbox-archives @illarian-rambling @wyked-ao3

@ath3alin @mysticstarlightduck + open tags!!!

Gorgeous divider by @saradika!

[bee-barnes-author]

WIP Questionnaire

Tagged by @tabswrites

Gently tagging: @amandacanwrite @coffeewritesfiction @ellierenae @johnna-oneal-trash-writer @leahkentwriter @milkhoney531 @pheita @pb-dot @sirensatyr @theamazinggrayson @tombstuck @violeaes @vivrune and an open tag. Blank questions below the cut!

For 'THE BEAST IN THE GLASS HOUSE':

1. What is the first part of your WIP that you created?

The outline. I was at a client's house, dog siting for a week, and I just finished reading ROSEMARY'S BABY by Ira Levin. I put down the book, and thought about the gaslighting aspect of the novel, and how scary that is. Then TBITGH appeared in my brain, whole and grown like Athena herself.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Idk about the song, but the direction would be very much like the intro from the first season of the sopranos. Probably it'd be the drive from Damon's office, to Freya's apartment, then to her work. It'd end on Damon putting sunglasses and a mask on.

3. What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

I hate Damon. He's such a loser so I don't count him as a character LMAO. My favs will have to be Freya or JJ. My love for Freya is hard to explain without spoiling the book lol. To be vague, it's her character arc. For JJ, I love how he ends up and how he develops as a character. Again, can't say much without spoiling.

4. What other pieces of media do you think your fan base would share?

This q kinda confuses me? Like what other shows/books would ppl like if they like my work? Well, my book is for fans of stalker horror (such as YOU by Caroline Kepnes and MISERY by Stephen King). If you're looking for the inspiration of the male love interest, check out THE VAMPIRE DIARIES tv show (seasons 1-3~, the rest are garbageeee), TWLIGHT (both the books and movies, specifically MIDNIGHT SUN), 50 SHADES OF GREY (I've only read the first book so I can't vouch for the movies, but the book is meh-to-bad imo)

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

Honestly, writing this thing has been a breeze. I wrote the first draft in under four months. It just flowed out of me. It's this whole 'getting ppl to read it' thing that's the hardest.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Werewolves! Mentions of squirrels. The mc is a werewolf and he's a werewolf supremacist. Werewolves on the brain 24/7 baybeeee.

7. How do your characters get around? (Ex. Trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

They run on all fours in wolf form, go around on two legs in human form and a special wolf form, drive cars, and drive snow mobiles.

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

The manuscript is done. I'm just waiting on the last edits from a paid editor. Once I do those rewrites, I'll put this up for publishing. Aiming to launch mid June 2025!

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe) of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

Incomplete list: soulmates/instant-love, every werewolf/shape shifter trope under the moon (couldn't help it), billionaire boyfriend, stalker 'romance'. Every 'bad boy boyfriend' trope. I loooove taking tropes and turning them on their heads.

10. What are your hopes for your WIP?

To publish! I'd love it to go gangbusters but my primary hope is just to have ppl read it 'XD

1. What is the first part of your WIP that you created?

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

3. What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

4. What other pieces of media do you think your fan base would share?

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

7. How do your characters get around? (Ex. Trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe) of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

10. What are your hopes for your WIP?

[lucas-deziderio]

Dezi reads Pact

I am a newcomer to Tumblr and have just found out about liveblogging books. It seems pretty darn fun! So I decided to try my hand at it to both exercise my literary analysis muscles and to maybe make a few friends in this site. And I've decided that my first subject on this will be John “Wildbow" McCrae's web serial Pact.

I've been a huge fan of his other work, Worm, for years now (though I do have a couple issues with it). And I'm also a big fan of urban fantasy stories with well designed magic systems, so the premise of this book is already very appealing to my tastes.

I have actually started reading through it before but put it on hold for a while. I am currently sitting in the middle of Signature 8.7 and will be picking up the story from there. I'll try to post once I finish each chapter, sharing my overall thoughts and analysis, and maybe once I finish each arc to stitch them all together and make predictions about the plot.

The road so far

Here are some assorted thoughts I've had on what I've read of the story so far:

Blake Thornburn is definitely a protagonist of all time. This little wet blanket of a man has successfully fled his toxic family, survived homelessness and got adopted into a found family of queer artists only to then be dragged back into his family's issues. And the skeletons in his grandma's closet want to eat his soul.

Also he totally fumbled a threesome. My dude simply can't get a win.

Rose Thornburn is a character who is completely devoid of any trans subtext, thank you very much. At the beginning I thought she was an excellent addition to the story, being a tool to get Blake to externalize his thought process and opinions. The first arcs would have been really dry without her. But she has grown so contrarian; convincing her to help is now an additional step Blake has to do every time he comes up with a new plan of action. I suspect she might become an antagonist even before the end. Is it just me? Is it some kind of ingrained misogyny?

Evan is the best character in the story. He's such a ray of sunshine that every line of his is like a breath of fresh air in this dark and gritty narrative Blake is trapped in. Please, let him become a fire bird. I beg you. He's just a cinnamon roll too pure for this world.

The magic system is maybe the best I've ever seen and is definitely what makes the story stand out. It feels like what I, almost instinctually, always imagined magic should work like. But defined and refined to a point where it actually becomes a usable set of rules. Everything from true names, binding, spirits, demesnes... It's ugh, so good! I will probably dig more into each of those elements as they come up in the next chapters because there's so much to chew on.

The monsters. The author has this amazing ability of grabbing well-known concepts of mythological creatures and giving them their own spin while at the same time seemingly distilling them to their core appeal. After meeting Wildbow's goblins, that's how I expect all other goblins to be like. The same goes for demons, fey, ghosts... As with the magic system, I'll dig into each of those as they come up in the next chapters.

During the discussion of the binding contract, the imp Pauz has mentioned some “inviolable rules", which caught Blake's attention for a second but were not clearly explained. This has been living rent-free in my head since then and I am very sure it will come back later.

Isadora, the sphinx, could step on me. Also, she has mentioned the fact that in the classical Greek myth Oedipus actually gave the wrong answer. I've been dying to know what is the true answer the the classic sphinx riddle, but unfortunately I don't think it will be revealed...

The way they defeated Conquest was, to me, a total copout. I couldn't fully follow Blake's plan until it was all over, and I can't understand why Conquest needed to travel into the mirror world to catch Rose when previously he just pulled her out of it like it was nothing. It just felt anticlimactic to me.

Also, please, can we actually just give him an actual arsenal of stuff he can use? I know Wildbow likes to keep his protagonists as the underdog but this is getting ridiculous. This magic system allows for basically anything but still our main man only has two or three tricks up his sleeve at any time and is constantly losing resources as fast as he can get more of them.

Last time I saw Blake he was swallowed whole by an ontophagic demon, being completely erased from reality as we know it and leaving Rose to steal his life. I know he'll come back, he's the protagonist after all, but I'm really excited to see how it will play out. Will he fight his way out Hell itself? Like Kratos??

The spoilers I already got

I don't care that much about spoilers, but still would like to avoid them if possible. I decided to list here what I could already gather from the future of the story simply by osmosis from the fandom:

There will be a mermaid called Green Eyes who is super cute in a “bite your face off" kind of way.

Blake will become part tree(?).

The ending is bittersweet at best.

Next

[jumpinginmuddypuddles]

heyyy whats up sunnyyyy

this is a pretty neat concept, maybe there’s one for artists too!

no idea if any of these have been asked before, but could i get 4, 25 and 35?

✨

hi hobs im doin alright on this chilly october morning

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

is it possible for me to say every single one to ever exist? in terms of fandom, there are definitely writers that are absolute weapons when it comes to gut-wrenching beautifully-made stuff that i worship (maybe i need to make a fic rec list or a collection or something idk) but in terms of actual published authors, i adore madelline miller's prose, it's just so beautifully written and makes me sob and scream and cry every time. i also love donna tartt's prose and also her characters and how deep and subtle some of the nuances in her novels are. i also love love love kazuo ishuguro and philip k dick for both their science-fiction works that manage to be so funny and so heartbreaking all at once, as well as their masterful dialogue. so yeah, i've got quite a few inspirations, but whether i actually manage to emmulate any of the gorgeous stuff they have written is TBD.

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

Literally ALL THE TIME. As its you hobs, my lovely mutual, I'll tell you about that hermitcraft fic and it's worldbuilding that i had planned. Before my muse was ripped from me and I fell out of touch with hermitcraft, I had visions of creating loads of off-shooting oneshots and works that explore all the different members and their backstories, and how they managed to end up in the main timeline in that au. it included a prequel of how mumbo and grian met and slowly gained each other's trust - it was agonisingly sad I will let you know now. I still have that stuff half-written because I am too attached to it but I am unlikely to ever go back to it and expand on that beautiful, tragic little world

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

It's a topic that's been spoken about so so much in recent years, but I just love how fanfiction, especially sites like ao3, are perfect symbols of how communism could and would work in our modern society. because authors do not get paid for their troubles, for their back ache and eye strain and hours hunched over a screen trying to figure out just the right words. we receive little-to-no praise most of the time, especially in smaller fandoms. so in theory, it shouldn't work. writers shouldn't post things onto platforms like ao3 and ff.net if, by capitalist standards, our labour is not being paid for. surely if it was simply a hobby, we could just write and keep it to ourselves? but because of the little communities people have built online, and the fandoms that have grown tight and strong, there is a really amazing band of people that group together to write fanfiction just because they love to do it, regardless of the time and effort taken, and want to show their creations to the world. this is especially true on ao3, which is non-proft, and is run by the people for the people. maybe that's why it receives so much goddamn funding every single time it needs it. (what a beautiful thought) sorry that last bit got super sappy, i just think it's super neat! Equally, I do think some people on ao3 need to relearn politeness and ettiquette. so many times i've had people either trauma-dumping without warrant in my comments or just rudely demanding the next chapter?? like? i am a person with work and school and a life, i cannot sit by a computer and pump out chapter after chapter for the rest of my life. it's insane and I think more people need to talk about it. I've been thinking about putting a blanket disclaimer in my notes about doing stuff like that because it sometimes has gotten so bad.

thanks so much for the questions! this turned into an entire essay lmao

check out the 36 questions for writers here

[thedarkeside]

Overprotective/toxic Bakugou Headcanons

Katsuki x Reader

Content Warnings: Toxic relationships/toxic behavior, social isolation, nongraphic smut.

I'm lowkey wondering if this would qualify as yandere? Maybe? I dunno.

●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～

❥ I headcanon Katsuki being very traumatized after everything that went down with the LoV-- the popping out of nowhere and beating the shit out of everyone, the kidnapping, y'know. That stuff.

❥ Like, I think that he would lowkey expect villains to just pop up out of nowhere.

❥ And he wouldn't care much if it were just him, he knows that now he can handle himself.

❥ But now he has you.

❥ You, who is absolutely not suited to fight these strong ass villains.

❥ You, who has absolutely zero hero training.

❥ You, who doesn't even have a particularly impressive quirk.

❥ Yeah. That's what scares him.

❥ So if you're living together, he's going to be kind of overkill with the insistence to protect you.

❥ AKA he doesn't want you leaving the house without him.

❥ It was at first kind of cute. He would want to walk you to and from work, he would take you grocery shopping, he would even come along when you wanted to do some clothes shopping.

❥ The last one is typically pretty welcomed-- he's the son of two people in the fashion industry, and despite dressing like a little goblin half the time, he knows how to create a pretty decent fit.

❥ But then it gets a bit suffocating.

❥ "Why can't I come with you and your friends to dinner? You embarrassed of me, sweetheart?"

❥ "Oh, a doctors appointment? Why not just come with me to my agency today. We've got plenty of doctors on site that can take care of you just fine."

❥ "Why go out to the movie theater when we've got a whole screening room here?"

❥ You let it slide, of course. You know that as a prohero he's seen all type of bad shit, plus you're well aware of what happened during his UA days-- it was all over the news, of course you know about the horrors, even if Katsuki doesn't like talking about it.

❥ But your leniency to his (toxic) behavior, his insistence of following you everywhere, allows it all to evolve into him not wanting you to even leave the house at all.

❥ "We've got all you could possibly want here, sweetheart."

❥ "If you want to see those damn extras so badly, just invite them over-- just not that one, or those other two, they give me a bad feeling."

❥ Of course, "that one" and "those other two" make up more than half of your friend group.

❥ And even then, Katsuki has a tendency to hover.

❥ During one of your few moments alone with your friends, you talk about his behavior, and they pretty much clue you in on how unhealthy his behavior is.

❥ What they say about "Love blinds" is apparently pretty damn true.

❥ So you sit down with Katsuki for a little chat.

❥ "Kat, you can't just limit me on what I'm able to do. I'm a grown woman, I can take care of myself."

❥ He would of course respond with--

❥ "Sweetheart, I've seen a whole lot more of this world than you have. If you think you could possibly protect yourself from it without me, you're being stupid."

❥ That got you pretty pissed.

❥ After a bit of a tongue lashing from you, he promised to ease up on it.

❥ "Fine, if you want to go out, then you can, but only if you check in with me every now and then and stay out of the sketchy areas."

❥ That promise wasn't worth shit.

❥ You managed to go out maybe twice with your friends before he started acting up again.

❥ Just not in the same way.

❥ Instead of throwing a fit when you tried leaving, he would try to seduce you into going back to the bedroom.

❥ It worked.

❥ He would just start off with "C'mon babe, just a quicky, you'll still have plenty of time to get ready."

❥ What you expected to be maybe fifteen minutes turned into an hour, then two hours.

❥ You would wind up having nearly a dozen orgasms.

❥ "Sorry baby, I guess I got a little carried away. You're just so damn tempting"

❥ If you don't just straight up black out by the end, you would sure as hell be exhausted and not able to feel your legs.

❥ You barely had the energy to text your friends that you can't make it.

❥ And it would keep happening.

❥ And happening.

❥ And happening.

❥ Your friends end up getting pretty fed up with how much of a flake you've become.

❥ They decided to stop inviting you at all.

❥ And Katsuki couldn't be happier.

[kdj-225]

oh yay you're on tumblr now!! i've been following and enjoying your joongdok stuff on twitter for awhile now so thank you♡ saw you were looking at fic requests, so... maybe some joongdok high school au shenanigans, where everyone thinks they're pining but they've actually been together for awhile? you don't actually have to write anything of course lol i just appreciate all your hard work on your stories!!

[ I'm happy to know that you enjoy my joongdok content on twitter, thank you so much!!! 💕🥰💕 I hope you like this short fic fill for your prompt!! ]

※DO NOT REPOST / HOST MY WORK ON OTHER APPS OR SITES

“You keep staring at him like that, you may as well just ask him out.”

Kim Dokja sighs. The few times Joonghyuk isn’t looking over and squinting at him, someone else (in this case, Jung Heewon) has to come over and disturb him. He really can’t eat his visual fill in peace no matter the circumstances, it seems.

“Yoo Joonghyuk,” he calls out.

He gives a little wave when the other student looks over with furrowed brows. Again, Dokja is hit with the temptation to smooth those wrinkles over with his fingers.

So young, yet so grumpy.

“Go out with me,” he mouths quietly. He grins when Joonghyuk blinks narrowed eyes in disbelief at him, and laughs when the other dares to flip a finger in response to his words.

He flips a finger back, just because he can.

“What was that?” Heewon asks. Her face, when it enters his view, is twisted in confusion at the odd and random exchange that just occurred before her. “What’d you tell him?”

“To go out with me.”

She laughs. “That’s why he flipped a finger at you?”

He nods. “That’s why he flipped a finger at me, yes.”

“I meant to ask him out seriously. Not as a joke, Dokja-yah. It’s no wonder he’d be so mad…”

He hums, resting his cheek on his chin. Again, he returns his gaze to Joonghyuk’s profile—sharp jaw despite his youth, a cat-like gaze, thick brows that highlight his eyes well, and a sharp nose with a line that naturally led one’s gaze to his kissable lips. His is a face that was awkward in his earlier years with his ears and brows and nose too large on his small face, but now, it was just unfair how attractive he’s grown up to be.

Who could blame him for staring, anyway? Anyone else would, he’s sure.

“Oh, he’d be mad regardless,” he says, smiling in amusement as he finds Joonghyuk’s gaze softening as it flickers over to him.

“But he’s cute like that.”

---------------------------

“You may as well make it official and stake your claim, you know.”

Yoo Joonghyuk struggles very hard not to throttle Han Sooyoung in full view of the student populace. He’d only been in the middle of unwrapping the food he’d prepared for himself and Kim Dokja on a desk in the courtyard; he doesn’t see why that’s worthy of her accosting him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Making his lunch? You are either his mother or his lover, and yet, you are neither of those things.”

He huffs out a breath. “You can meddle elsewhere. Or are you dissatisfied with him eating a proper lunch?”

“We’re literally provided meals at school every day.”

“Not enough protein for him. You also know how picky he is.”

“You’re really—” Sooyoung scoffs. “I’m not saying you should stop anyway, you punk. I’m saying that you should make things clear so he doesn’t get the wrong idea.”

“What wrong ideas can anyone get from being provided with food?”

“That you’re just doing this for your entertainment until you get bored of him. That you’re thinking of him as a charity case.”

“Kim Dokja has never been a charity case. And if he were, how would I be any different?”

Sooyoung makes a face—not at him, but at herself. It’s as if she’d forgotten just who it is that she’s talking to, which wouldn’t be a surprise to him. Of course she’d forget the fact that he’s an orphan in favor of Kim Dokja, who has to live with only his mother after his old man passed away in the way that he did.

He likes it better this way, even if the miserable look on her face seems to have her believing otherwise.

“Don’t look like that,” he says, frowning at the wary look she sends his way. “I prefer it, that you forget what I am. And Dokja is not enough of a fool to think of himself in that way around me.”

“But—”

“Ah, Joonghyuk-ah! Did you make my favorite today?”

Dokja’s voice cuts through whatever Sooyoung’s complaints might be, making the both of them look back at him. He’s got his phone in hand, as is the usual, and the way he jogs over to them reminds Joonghyuk that he really should get Dokja to exercise more. He’s heaving for breath when he finds his way to their table in such a short distance…his stamina really is abysmal.

“No,” he says. He ignores the pout that Dokja gives him in response. “You can’t eat omurice every day, you fool.”

“But your omurice is so good?”

“I don’t care. Mia wanted white meat today.”

“Ah, so is it fish or chicken?”

“Fish.”

“...you two may as well get married,” Sooyoung grumbles.

Dokja blinks at her as he takes a seat beside Joonghyuk. “What was that?”

“Nothing, idiot.”

-------------------------

When Heewon sighs for the umpteenth time, Hyunsung can’t help it.

He finally voices the question he’s been wanting to ask ever since the start of group outing, the question that’s rested on the tip of his tongue ever since he saw the determined expressions on Sooyoung and Heewon’s faces.

To everyone at their table, he asks, “Is there something wrong..?”

Yoo Sangah quietly sips from her glass of juice, then smiles at him. Lee Seolhwa, in a similar way, shares a placid smile that has Hyunsung fidgeting in confusion. Those looks explain absolutely nothing, and only make him sweat nervously at what it is he must be missing.

Sooyoung, on the other hand, nods her head over to the distant counter where Joonghyuk and Dokja are still lined up to get their own orders. She says, “It’s them.”

He blinks. “Joonghyuk and Dokja? What about them?”

“We’re staging an intervention,” Heewon says. Again, that answers nothing. “They need our help, pronto. I can’t deal with this anymore.”

He smiles awkwardly. Somehow, he feels like he’s back in class when he nervously raises a hand to get their attention. “Um, what’s “this”?”

“This—”

“I’ve succeeded in corrupting our Joonghyukie!”

Hyunsung looks up at the sound of Dokja’s voice, and finds his pale classmate grinning while pulling a scowling Joonghyuk down to sit beside him. “Corrupt?” he asks.

“You know how he doesn’t like to eat food that he didn’t cook? I got him to get a burger today,” Dokja explains. Joonghyuk quietly slides the tray he’d brought over to Dokja’s side of the table, which Dokja takes as a sign to grab his own burger. “So, what were you talking about before we came back? It looked serious.”

“Oh,” Seolhwa begins to say, picking up some fries with one hand, “we were just talking about our plans for the future. What about you two, Dokja-yah, Joonghyuk-ah?”

“The future? Hm, I haven’t thought that far,” Dokja hums. It’s easy, the way he leans into Joonghyuk’s side as he thinks, that Hyunsung can’t help from wondering just what the others believe they need an intervention on. They seem to be happy enough as is, right? Or was there something he just didn’t know? If so, what was it?

“Liar,” Joonghyuk huffs. He unwraps his own burger, makes a face down at it, before taking a hesitant bite.

The grimace on his face deepens as he chews. Dokja laughs and laughs, and Hyunsung can’t help from laughing a little too—though, he does end up stopping when Joonghyuk squints at him.

Joonghyuk, for all his visual dismay at his food, still keeps eating. Hyunsung wonders why; it’s not like he’s the type to keep doing anything he doesn’t like. Maybe Dokja dared him into it? He’s usually only terrible at rejecting dares when Dokja is involved, from what he remembers.

Dokja asks, “Why am I a liar, Joonghyuk-ah?”

“We already have plans.”

“Living together isn’t much of a plan,” Dokja says. “They were probably talking about the jobs we’ll do. You’re going to keep going as a pro-gamer, right? As for me, I’m not really sure yet.”

“Wait.”

Dokja looks over, as does Hyunsung. Sooyoung’s tone is unnaturally urgent, so of course they’d end up looking at her. She says, “What do you mean, live together?”

“Exactly what it means? We’ll be living together. Sharing an apartment, or something along those lines. Maybe if Joonghyukie gets rich enough we can buy a house…”

Hyunsung finds himself growing more and more confused, the more that Dokja’s innocent smile grows deeper and deeper in its slyness. Like he knows something they don’t, somehow.

Sooyoung cries out, “You..!”

“If you have something to say,” Joonghyuk says bluntly, “just spit it out instead of mumbling nonsense.”

Heewon smacks both of her hands to the table with enough force that it shakes. Hyunsung has to set his own hands on the other end of the table to make sure it doesn’t fall over. She says, “Are you two dating?!”

“Yes.”

“That’s right.”

A chorus of screams resound from their table, catching the attention of servers and customers alike. Hyunsung finds himself shrinking in his seat, though Sangah and Seolhwa are remarkably calm as they continue to drink and eat their fill.

“You bastard!?” Sooyoung grabs Dokja by the collar and shakes him from across the table, gaze wild with fury while Dokja laughs in her face. “How dare you! We’ve been trying to set you both up, and you couldn’t even say that you were already together?!”

“It was funny watching you struggle, though,” Dokja says. He’s wheezing with laughter even as Joonghyuk pries Sooyoung’s hands off of him. As he curls into Joonghyuk’s side, one hand resting on the other student’s shoulder for support, he says, “And it’s not like we’re that subtle. Sangah and Seolhwa knew without either of us saying anything.”

“Sangah!”

“Seolhwa-yah, are you serious?”

The two of them, in response to the accusatory words, give a shrug and a smile. Sangah says, “It was their secret to tell, so…sorry?”

Seolhwa adds, “You’d have noticed it if you looked at them while they’re alone together. They usually only put on a show when they think someone’s looking.”

“I can’t believe you two!”

“You guys are terrible…”

“What about Hyunsung? Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“Ah. Ah,” he sputters, holding both hands up in surrender as he smiles at the accusatory glares being thrown his way. “I didn’t know either? I didn’t think there was even an issue in the first place, I just thought that Dokja and Joonghyuk are fine as they are…”

“Of course they’re fine as they are, when they’ve already been dating under our noses,” Sooyoung scoffs. “How long has it even been?”

“One year, three months?” Dokja says, looking over to Joonghyuk.

Joonghyuk nods.

“ONE YEAR?”

“You bastards?!”

Hyunsung is the one who ends up sighing this time. Quietly, shoulders curled in on themselves, he eats his burger—all while the others argue on the secrets that have been hidden from them after all this time.

He’d lied, just a bit. It wasn’t like he had confirmed knowledge on Joonghyuk and Dokja’s relationship, but…

It wasn’t like it was that difficult to see, just from how they smiled at each other whenever they were together. In those moments when they thought no one was around and they were alone, it was far too easy to see just how gentle Dokja could get, and how warm Joonghyuk could look.

Hyunsung hides a smile behind his mouthful of food.

It’ll be fine eventually.

They’re friends, after all.

[xxsp3llb0undxx]

Your Life Has Only Just Begun - Cullen Clan x GN!Reader ,, Embry Call x GN!Reader (Part 10)

TW: Blood ,, Curse words ,, heartbreak ,, mentions of suicide,,

Disclaimer: Please do not repost my work to other sites or claim as your own, this is purely written from my imagination and from the help of the franchise. All rights of the main storyline goes to the writers and producers of Twilight.

Summary: Reader finds out Embry imprinted on them, overjoyed with the feeling of finally being loved, they confess their feelings for him. But neither of them knew, things were going to go so very wrong for them.

--------------------------------------------------

It has been a few days since y/n had been released from the hospital, everything was going well for them and the pack. It was raining outside today, the weather brought a sense of calmness to the reservation. The pack were messing around with each other, they were supposed to be on patrol but Sam gave in and let the them have some fun for once. Jacob and y/n were sat on the stairs leading to the house, his arm around them to keep them warm. "Is Bella your imprint? I've seen the way you look at her, there's just pure love in your eyes when she's around." How was he supposed to tell them he hadn't imprinted yet. Would they think it's embarrassing and feel sympathetic for him? Y/n looked at Jacob, waiting for an answer, their eyes lighting up when he looked back at them. "I haven't imprinted yet, I thought Bella was the one but maybe I'm just in love with the idea of her being mine." Jacob didn't want any sympathy from them, he just wanted someone he could love for the rest of his life. "Don't worry, Jake. You'll find your imprint soon, I bet she's looking for you right now!" The sincerity in their voice made warmth spread throughout his heart, he was truly grateful to have y/n in his life.

"I'm glad Embry has you, it must be nice knowing your imprint lives in the same house." Jacob fucked up. He wasn't supposed to tell them Embry imprinted on them. Panic settled in the pit of his stomach, he was so dead. "Embry imprinted on me?" The happiness in their voice and the soft smile on their face eased the anxiety Jacob was feeling. He could only nod, fearing his voice would give out on him. Y/n patted Jacob's shoulder as they got up off the stairs, on a mission to find the grey furred wolf. They spotted him with Paul in the middle of the rest of the pack, they were fooling around with each other. Y/n made their way over to the two boys telling Embry they needed to talk to him, the young wolf ran behind the house and changed back into his human form, fully dressed. "What's up? Are you-" He was interrupted by their lips against his, he started to blush as he kissed them back. Was he imagining this happening? God he hoped not. They pulled away from each other, breathing a little heavier than before. "What was that for?" A smile started to grown on his face, he hoped y/n liked him back. "I know I'm your imprint, Em. Why didn't you tell me?" Embry looked behind him, Jacob still sat on the stairs. He huffed as he looked back at the love of his life in front of him "I'm sorry, I was just scared you wouldn't love me back, I mean Edward loves you and I just thought you would chose him over me."

Y/n brought Embry into a hug, holding him close to their body "I will always choose you, Em. You're my life, no vampire could ever get me to love them more than you." The two lovers didn't notice the pack watching them, smiles adorned their faces as they watched the interaction; happy for Embry to have his best friend as his imprint. But the happiness was short lived, Sam told everyone to meet at the treaty line as the Cullens wanted to discuss something. Once everyone was together, Carlisle told the pack that a new born army was coming and they going to war with them over Bella. They needed the wolves help, they always do. Jasper offered to train them to fight the new born army, the Cullens needed as much help as they could possibly get; Sam spoke to the pack about it and they agreed they would only help for the sake of the humans. "We might need the help of you, y/n. If that's okay with you and the pack." Embry got defensive at that comment, he would not let the love of his life get hurt for the benefit of the Cullens. "They will not be apart of this fight, they are only human." Edward scoffed at what he said, y/n was his imprint yet he didn't know about their gift, he thought it was funny to say the least.

"What's so funny? Do you want to get them killed?" The pack were now on high alert, y/n might not be a shifter like them but they still accepted them into their hearts and home. The pack needed to protect y/n at all costs. "I'm guessing they never told you?" A bitter laugh rumbled through Edwards chest, y/n couldn't understand why he was being like this. They kept their gift a secret because they didn't want the pack looking at them differently. All eyes were now on y/n, they couldn't describe how uncomfortable it made them. Jasper sensing how they were feeling, he used his powers to make them feel more calm. Y/n sent a small smile to him as a way of saying thank you, how were they going to tell the pack? "I, I don't really know what to say. I have this gift where I can share my emotions with those around, it sounds stupid I know but hear me out. When I first stayed at the Cullens house, I was feeling so overwhelmed my emotions started seeping out of me in a cloud of smoke. It soon made them feel everything I was feeling, if I could just harness it in some way I could possibly make the new borns feel an immense amount of pain, just enough to distract them so you guys can do what you will."

Embry brought y/n into his side, holding them close to him. "If you want to help, you can but you have to stay by my side at all times, is that okay?" They nodded their head, at least they would be safe during the fight. Edward glared at the pair, their love for each other making him sick. Jasper told the pack to meet in the field past the forest in four days, that's when they were apparently going to be here. They all started training for the next few days, under the supervision of Jasper of course, it was tiring but they had to do it to protect Bella and everyone else in Forks. They couldn't let an army of blood thirsty vampires destroy their homes and loved ones, Sam wouldn't allow that to happen. Y/n had extra training with Jasper, Carlisle and Sam, to be able to control their emotions and harness it into something bigger to use against the new borns. After every training session, y/n would go back to the reservation and tell the pack everything they had learnt. Embry was terrified something could happen to them during the fight but after hearing about their gifts improving more and more as the days went on, he was slowly becoming a little less scared and instead, more confident they would win.

The day finally came, the pack in their wolf forms along side the Cullens. Bella's blood was spread around the field to confuse the new borns, she was with Edward up in the mountain; it was the only way to keep her safe and out of harms way. "They're coming." Everyone got ready, but they were met with silence. No scent in the air to know if they were there. Moments later, a herd of vicious new borns came running into the field, led by Riley Biers; the boy who went missing not too long ago. The fight begun. The wolves had an upper hand, until one of the new borns cornered Leah, he was about to get a hold of her until Jacob came and knocked him down. They fought each other for what seemed like hours, that was until he took a hold of Jacob from behind, the sound of breaking bones filled the air. The sight made y/n sick to their stomach, there was destruction all around. Their friends and family all losing to the army. Searing hot hatred ran through y/n's veins, their eyes going pitch black. Without a second thought, a blood curdling scream erupted out of their throat, clouds of thick smoke surrounding the new borns; one by one they all cry out for help, the pain too much for them to handle. The smell of fire and blood mixed together filled the air, the new borns were engulfed in black flames, their cries drowned out by the birds squawking in the sky as they flew by. Y/n collapsed to the ground, the new born army no longer a threat to them or mankind. Distorted voices could be heard all around, unable to decipher what was being said.

The Cullens all went home after the battle, Carlisle went with the pack to the reservation to help Jacob before the healing process started kicking in, his broken ribs causing him to cry out of pain as Carlisle had to rebreak a few for them to heal properly. The morphine didn't help, the pain was still evidently there. Bella came to visit him once Jacob had the all clear from Carlisle, she felt guilty for letting him join in with the battle; she begged him to stay with her but he knew he had to protect his pack. A few days later, Jacob's ribs were fully mended, he was still dealing with the small amounts of agony but it was bearable. After the fight when y/n collapsed, they fell into a coma, their powers being too strong to withhold. Embry would sit by their side all day and night, waiting for the moment their eyes would open and they would smile up at him. But his wish was unfulfilled, weeks passed and they were still in the same state; he knew it was a bad idea for them to be involved in all of this but he also didn't want to be apart from them. With a tear stained face, he left the room. He left behind the love of his life, he couldn't bare with the loss of them, he knew their body was still here but their mind and soul were elsewhere and he couldn't deal with it. He changed into his wolf form and ran, ran until he was at the clearing, the place they first met. All the memories he had with y/n, slowly started to gnaw away at his brain; how would he be able to continue on with his life if they weren't with him?

Tears escaped his eyes, his heart shattering into a million pieces. With one last breath, he howled to the world. His brothers and sister would hear him, they would feel the despair, the heartbreak, the feeling of loss. It all pained them to see him this way, they never expected it to end like this. Soon the Cullens caught wind of Y/n's health rapidly decreasing during their coma state, Edward didn't want to believe it, he couldn't lose his true mate. Guilt swarmed his heart, if he were to lose them; he might as well just go to the Volturi and ask them to kill him. He couldn't bare a life without them either. Carlisle could only think of one thing that could help speed up the process of y/n waking up, it wasn't the best solution but it was all he could do. He asked for permission from Sam to change them, He didn't want y/n to turn into a cold one but he also didn't want Embry to kill himself if they died either. So he gave Carlisle permission to do it, he just hoped he wouldn't regret it.

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Taglist: @caityrayeraye @idttcf @unicornicopia1 @saltydreamerdreamland @skyhold1992-fr @crazyhearttragedy @iloveslasher @lazuli-leenabride @its-la-push @twihard08

Chapter 10 finished !! I hope you're enjoying the series so far, please let me know if this chapter was good or not. Have a lovely day/night !

MASTERLIST CULLENS

[eclipsedpascal]

You Deserve This

Andy Dolan x Female Reader

GIF by @kissxmedeadly !!

“The reader asking Andy about his kiddo (let's pretend is a lil boy 🤣) and him being very emotional about it and the reader who truly loves him conforts him 😭❤️” - anon

Please read the warnings!!

Warnings: use of drugs (weed), smut, oral (female receiving), slight public sex, slight angst, mentions of rehab, mentions of suicidal thoughts, a lil bit of crying and VERY slight Eden spoilers, but thats only if you don't want to know anything AT ALL, so basically none? idk lmao:)

Notes: hi! So this is my first Andy fic, I wrote it very quickly last night after a sudden burst of inspiration and it doesn't make too much sense, also it’s kinda cheesy? I don't think I've ever written anything this angsty or soft before, but i’m trying to be more in touch w my emotions nd this is my way of doing that, so hopefully i'll do more things like this soon:) also if you’re interested, the title is one of my favourite songs by Men I Trust that I just thought fit Andy well.

Word count: 1.8k

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The warm, dancing breeze washed over your skin, plucking up your many goosebumps and blowing the rainbow coloured sea of petals that decorated the large garden from left to right. The bittersweet mix of their fragrances and Andy’s blunt rushed to you and filled your scrunched up, wrinkled nose as you let out a loud laugh. The vibrant expanse of fluffy grass felt close to a mattress underneath you, cradling your form whilst you laid amongst the greenery and watched Andy ghost a deep inhale of the blunt he had balanced precariously between two fingers. He flopped his arm across the gap between you and offered you another toke, the dopey smile spread over his features making you laugh even more.

“What’s so funny? Hmm?” He questioned you jokingly, rolling onto his forearms and bringing his face to hover just above yours as you brought the blunt to your lips. You couldn't hold in your laughter, your drug hazed state and the breeze that pushed his brown curls to tickle your blushing skin only exaggerating your amusement further as you choked out clouds of smoke.

“What??” He joined in laughing, finding humour in his own confusion and finding your laugh infectious. His lips found your own in a sudden yet gentle kiss which you gladly embraced, still not managing to fully compose yourself as you giggled into his open mouth.

You did your best to pull back from the kiss, but were reminded you didn't really have anywhere to go when you felt a blade of grass flutter against your ear. “It’s just.. your smile.” You rested your blunt carrying hand on his cheek as you spoke, feeling your heart swell when he pulled an overdramatic expression of insult at your reply.

“What’s so wrong with my smile?!” He half faked offence, not understanding what you could possibly find so amusing about it as you giggled more and more. “What’s wrong with it?- is it my lips? ‘They not good enough for you baby?” His thick accent aided his voice, making him sound even more attractive than he already was as he joked with you.

“Noo! it definitely wasn’t your lips, cause I love those.” You gripped his locks a little firmer, biting your lip as his stare changed from one of curiosity to one of want.

“Oh yeah?” He leaned back down and kissed you again, but this time rougher, the weed made you feel as if his lips were slowly melting into your own as it sent strong signals of lust through your body. He put all his weight on one arm, lifting the other and groping your waist with it whilst simultaneously moving to trail wet kisses down your neck.

His touches were deep, yet executed so delicately it convinced you if he was any rougher, you might just break. He opened the buttons of the flowing shirt you wore; one you had stolen out of his wardrobe that morning. He moved his head further down your chest to your stomach, mouth racing in slow motion to reach you were he wanted to most.

Forgetting to explain why you found his smile so funny in the first place, your high carried your thoughts closer towards how incredible his mouth felt on your skin, making you lean into his touch and let out a few small mewls.

As he reached your panty line, he tapped your hip, signalling for you to lift them so he could take your shorts off. He slid them off your legs in a quick, smooth motion that had them landing on a nearby lavender bush. The garden had quite a large variety of blossoming shrubbery and many clusters of beautiful flowers, it was probably down to the bi-weekly gardeners Andy had hired. You had known they were expensive and after spending so much time like this, lazing around, surrounded by the expensive home’s nature, you were beginning to understand why he had hired them.

You returned your gaze from the dangling shorts, back to the man nestled between your bare thighs. His beard was scratching at your skin in the best way possible as he laid small kisses over the thin fabric that covered your cunt. His hot breathe felt like fire as you wriggled and squirmed below him, just wanting some kind of contact from him.

He used two fingers to peel your panties to the side, groaning at the site of your glistening folds before kissing your clit gently. His tongue started swiping across your cunt slowly, taking all the time in the world to make you feel as good as he knew he could. You moaned loudly, grabbing at his hair once more as he sucked on you deeply.

“Mr Dolan?” You were interrupted by a throat clearing before hearing a man speak; one of Andy’s many servants you guessed. They had never seemed to leave the two of you alone whilst you had been staying there. No matter how big his home was, you always seemed to find another at every corner.

Andy looked up to the man with question and annoyance, raising an eyebrow at him as he wished for him to just hurry up and leave so the two of you could continue with your escapades. “It’s the phone for you Mr Dolan. Your son.”

Andy quickly rose from his place below you, his mind abandoning all thought of the act he was just partaking in as he jogged past the glass doors of his home, wanting only to speak to the young boy.

You sat up slightly, doing up a few buttons of your shirt and laying your crossed legs to the side of you as you held yourself up with your arm. You watched him as he scrambled into the house after his servant, little red marks from where he had been lying in the grass next to you were noticeably imprinted on the skin of his left arm, the one he had been leaning on, and his open shirt was flowing behind him with the speed he was moving.

You looked down to the flowers on front of you, picking a single daisy that bore tinted, pink tips on the end of each slim, white petal, twirling the stem around between two of your fingers as you listened to the breeze pick up. You could feel the mood of the air change as he left, the wind feeling more cold an irritating than once before as you pondered the call Andy was having.

You knew how desperate he had been to speak to his son again. It had been months since he had spoken to him without his ex-wife being the messenger. He missed him more than he knew to describe.

His recent divorce had been what had fuelled him to return home to Eden; hoping to find solace in the paradise he knew so well after feeling as if he had lost himself entirely. Spending too many years constantly playing other people had taken more of a toll on him than he had realised, that was until he was sent to rehab. After getting out, he felt as if staying in Eden was the only way for him to climb out of the dark hole he had managed to find himself in. Unfortunately, this journey of finding himself had meant making the decision to leave his son behind in Los Angles. Something he didn't like to speak on much.

When you had first met him in rehab however, he had been extremely open about his life, telling you how anger was the only emotion he could really feel anymore. Explaining that if he wasn’t at least the slightest amount intoxicated, he didn't think he couldn't go on with living; especially after the recent downfall of his career being showcased for the entire world to see. It was dark stuff, but you understood each other. That’s a big part of what made you grow so close.

You picked off petal after petal from the daisy, watching its beauty fade with each pluck and letting each one slowly blow into the breeze, creating a tragic stream as they blew away from you and down to the not so far off shoreline. As you plucked the last petal, you admired the daisy, still glowing with pollen and beaming in the sunlight despite have lost so many important parts of it. You stuck it into your shirt pocket and fell back down to lay on the grass as you waited for Andy to finish his call.

It had been maybe ten minutes you were lying with your eyes closed, enjoying the heat that beamed down from the clear, Australian sky when you finally heard the slow footsteps that you knew to be Andy’s, pattering along the grass. You shot up from where you lay to see the dopey-smiled man who had left you in the garden just fifteen minutes before, only to be faced with a red-eyed, teary one.

“Andy what happened? Are you okay?” He fell down onto the grass besides you, staring at you but completely wordless. You felt as if you could see into his soul. He was feeling so many emotions he hadn’t even been able to grasp at in so long. It was overwhelming him and you knew it. You reached out to stroke is cheek, concern running through you for the man that you had grown to love so dearly over the past few months.

He looked up “She’s gonna let me see him. T-They’re coming over next month.” A tear fell from his face as he smiled harder than you had ever seen him smile before. He was finally going to see his son after all these long months and you couldn’t have been any happier for him.

“Really?! That’s amazing, oh my god!” You moved forwards, wrapping your arms over his large shoulders and squeezing him in a hug so full of love it was palpable. “You really got to speak to him this time?” You questioned him once more before pulling away from his grasp, thinking back to the many times his ex-wife had promised he could speak with the boy but decided at the last minute he wouldn’t get to.

“Yeah!.. he uhh,” He took in a shaky breath, chuckling with joy as he recalled hearing the young boy’s voice so filled with excitement and energy over the phone. “He said he couldn't wait to meet you! You know, when I told him about you.” He stumbled over his words, running a hand through his hair as he shook with nerves, doing his best to calm himself.

In that moment, you felt your love for him soar higher than it ever had before. You were so proud of the progress he had made, and you knew his son would be too. “And I cant wait to meet him either.” You rested your forehead against his, the two of you enjoying a stand still and bathing in the happiness you both felt in the beautiful moment. The sound of the ever present breeze occupied your ears as the laughter emitting from two of you joined it, echoing a song throughout the garden that wouldn’t be forgotten any time soon.

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Thank you sm for reading!!🥺💗

Tags: @celestialrequiem @ntxoza @dark-mei-rose @sojournmichael @blakescoven @ritualmichael @ghostangels @fernfiction @ferndolan @brattylovee @7-wonders @angelicmichael @melodylangdon @brooklinn13 @kitty4860 @lavenderahs @michaellangdonstanaccount @9layerdevilfoodcake @chicaluna2410 @plymptxn-reborn I've just tagged anyone who I thought might be interested as per usual, but if you would to be removed feel free to let me know!! you can also lemme know if you would like to be added to the tag list too:)

[emilywrites185]

Making a New Character and Getting Acquainted.

I'd like to share some resources for you to explore that I often use when I buckle down to create a character. These are also what I use to get into a character's headspace when I have difficulty writing them.

There is no right or wrong way to make a character! Sometimes they come from a song, maybe from a photo, or just from a moment of inspiration. They may just pop up and take residence in your head without permission as well. You may only know one thing about them when they really need to be developed before you can write further. Sometimes in writing, I've found I need to quickly make up a new character without putting a lot of thought into them. No matter how they come to be, I use these websites to exercise my brain and develop them. Some of these put me in their headspace, which is excellent when they are first created.

Links Below! Take a peek!

First, for the fantasy writers out there, this has been a good tool for inspiration in naming things beyond just characters. I like to take the suggestions apart and make my own.

These next two websites get me into my character's headspace. If you're someone who likes to give your characters birthdays, whether it is important in the story or just because you like to, this is a fun exercise. I like to take this quiz in the headspace of my characters to see what their zodiac sign is. It gives the month and day range for the sign, which helps me pick a date for my characters. It is also fun to see if the traits of that sign line up with the character. Even if you aren't looking to give them a birthday, I think the questions make you think of how a character would react to certain work and social situations. It takes about 20 minutes to complete.

This second website is another quiz to take in your character's headspace. I have used this for years, and I have grown very fond of using it. It is a free personality test based on Jung and Briggs personality type theory, and I find it to be most helpful in getting to know my new characters. For fun, I add the results to their character sheet. It is 64 questions, and is rather similar to the zodiac personality test. There are links to the 16 personality types that explain them quite well if you'd rather just find the one that sounds close enough. Over the years of using this site, I have found it to be quite useful for my characters. I hope you will find it useful or enlightening for your characters as well.

As a bonus, here is a link to the alignment test. I find the alignment test for D&D to be great for getting acquainted with the characters in my writing. And, why not use it? D&D is awesome!

This last website is one of my favorites to use. This is an incredible source for more than just character creation and development. They have worksheets, questions for world building and character development, and even a page for character's personality types. They even discuss the Myers-Briggs and western zodiac categories I mentioned in this post. There are additional categories on that page as well. This link will take you to the character development questions. There are approximately 150 of them. I like to pick and choose the questions I find the most relevant to my story and add them to my own sheet that I have built over the years. As a challenge, I try to complete all of the questions, even if it takes the character out of the story's setting. I feel doing the previous quizzes first helps me answer these questions with certainty.

Pinterest is my number one app for inspiration. Creating and organizing boards for my stories and characters is one of the best things for my imagination and immersion. With my coauthor, we collaborate on boards and share ideas to paint a picture of what we imagine. I can usually find character art or frames from movies/shows that are very close to how I imagine a character. But when Pinterest fails, I use Artbreeder. Artbreeder has graced me with success in tweaking pictures just right to make my characters as close to how I imagine them as possible. It can take some patience and it takes a lot of experimentation when you first learn how it works, but I have found it to be very helpful. I've been very happy with my results. The best part about it is the fact you can combine "parent" photos and make "child" photos. If you're creating a family, this is a great tool to distribute traits. If you are ever curious to see what I have created on Artbreeder, let me know and I can post examples.

There you have it! These are some of the resources I use to bring my characters to life. Getting to know your characters on a deep level will never steer you wrong. Being a writer, knowledge is power and the cards are all in your hands. Use what you learn about your characters and let it contribute to their story.

I will most likely add to this post in the future! Feel free to share some of your favorite sites that help you develop a character with me! I am always looking for new sites and material!

Happy Creating!

[whateverthedragonswant]

There is no buddie coding. There are no hints leading into s5. There is no buddie except inside of your head. People aren't posting anything, because every single fucking time they do, you fucking asshole buddie shippers make it ALL ABOUT BUDDIE. You make EVERYTHING all about buddie. Bobby and Athena have a clip? The comments are all BUCK'S PARENTS and BUDDIE WHEN and shit. Y'all have harassed the actors, the producers, the writers, the set workers, SO MUCH, about buddie, that they are AFRAID to fucking post. You're all deranged, delusional fucking cunts.

I'm sorry, that was my genuine reaction reading this ask. Oh, anon. Are you feeling okay? Do you want to sit down and talk? Here, have a seat and come talk to me:

So, let me start out by saying that going around and leaving anon hate messages with name-calling is very third grade. Are you a third grader, anon? I sincerely hope not given the content on this site at times.

Secondly, while I understand your impassioned defense of the cast and any hate they endured, I can assure you that I am not someone who has ever interacted with the cast at all. As a matter of fact, I think I've left two (positive and supportive) comments for two different celebrities on their IG's in my whole life. So for you to come out swinging without knowing who I am as a person makes that part of your argument invalid and detracts any sort of intelligence from your ask as does the use of the word cunt (a very derogatory misogynistic word mind you).

Thirdly, I feel bad for you, anon. I truly do. Did you pay any attention at all to the last season or even the season before that? The show has been leaning heavily into Buddie for some time. Starting with 3x01. They have actively been weaving the two characters' story lines together from the surface down to the very core. Buck and Eddie may have started out as two sides of the same coin, as partners and friends, but it's grown much more into that. The show has repeatedly displayed for you not only the Buckley-Diaz family unit (which they just double-downed on in the end of 4x14 mind you) becoming more prominent in the story but also Buck and Eddie as well. Why else would they have the whole scene in 4x13 play out the way it did?

Do you know how storytelling works, anon? And not just general storytelling but storytelling in a film and television production capacity? Do you know how parallels, framing, dialogue choices, camera angles and movements, music cues, subtext, props and themes, costuming, lighting, and edits (like voiceovers and transitions) work? Do you? Do you truly understand just what goes into each of these departments that work these devices in order to assist telling the story that you're seeing on screen? If you don't, I suggest you read up on them and then rewatch 4x13 and 4x14 at the very least and I guarantee it'll blow your mind.

But given the narrow-minded ask that you've posted here, guaranteed you won't do that because you've already closed yourself off to something you don't want to see or even consider. Instead you tell yourself that anyone who sees something different to you, right or not, is delusional and it's all in their head. Because it's much easier to call those people crazy and say they're pulling something out of thin air that doesn't exist than to consider the possibility that maybe something is actually there and you (and/or the show) might have to actually give it a moment's thought and maybe, just maybe, deal with it. Which brings me back to why I feel so sorry for you, anon. Because you are absolutely 100% incorrect in your assessment.

And while I will not write a dissertation on the subject (though I definitely could and maybe still might), I'm going to break down your little assertion here, piece by piece:

"There is no buddie coding."

Buck and Shannon parallels - i.e. 2x10 vs 3x10; "forgive me" dialogue

Abby and Shannon parallels - both left, both came back and wanted to move on in the end; both are considered to have taken a piece of each guy with them that the guys will never get back; "having the back" dialogue; Buck learning from Abby's situation and applying it to Eddie's situation

Taylor and Eddie parallels - i.e. 2x06 vs 3x15

Eddie and Abby parallels - season 1 vs 2x04 & 3x18

Synced movements

Framing & Actors' Marks

Costuming - not only is this used to show synchronization but also when they're not syncing (meaning not on the same page)

Lighting - i.e. 3x09, the reunion scene with Abby in 3x18

Actors' performances

Props/Themes

Buck and Eddie either finishing each other's sentences or always replying to one another in some way (again shows synchronization)

Contrasted relationships: Buck and Chim & Chim and Albert (brothers), Buck and Albert (friends), Chim and Hen (partners and best friends), Bobby and Michael (an actual bromance mixed in with family), Buck and Maddie (family)

What's all this then? (and that's just the tip of the Buddie iceberg that's going to sink your hatred cruise)

"There are no hints leading into s5."

So I get that you might not know how all of this works and just how intelligent Tim and the writers are and how well thought out this whole show is for the story and each and every character but did you ever question why Buck has a "5" on his shirt in the legal guardian scene in 4x14? Or that the scene starts out with a "4" behind Eddie's head before Buck walks in? That Eddie is framed in that shot with that behind him? That if it was something the show didn't intend to be in there, they very easily could have done a different camera angle, blocked the # with another prop, or had Eddie sitting on the other side of the bed? Nothing is an accident when it comes to TV, dear. Especially not on this show. And let's not even talk about how they inserted the number "5" heavily into the dialogue in season 4, especially in 4x12.

"There is no buddie except inside of your head."

That's strange, I could have sworn that I've seen other users on here making gifs, posts, and video and TikTok edits about Buddie. 🤔 I mean, I suppose it could all be a fantasy of mine but kind of weird that seeing said gifs is what caused me to check out 911 in the first place. Maybe I'm psychic, too? 😀

"People aren't posting anything, because every single fucking time they do, you fucking asshole buddie shippers make it ALL ABOUT BUDDIE."

Well, I mean, how can us "fucking asshole buddie shippers" not? Have you seen the show? Oh, right, sorry. You haven't.

Welp, I could be wrong here but I'm fairly certain I've seen many posts on here about Bathena and Madney and Henren, while also about each individual character and the 118 fam as a whole. I have no idea what comments people have left, say, on Oliver's IG posts in the past or Angela's or Aisha's, but I didn't realize that I would be made to answer for every single person who left comments in the form of Buddie all over the internet. Quick question, quick question, do I need a Buddie lawyer? 🤔

"You make EVERYTHING all about buddie."

Not really. About 98% of the time rn, sure, it's my current point of passion and I love the ship. But don't be misinformed, I sometimes post Destiel, Jonsa, Daensa, Fuffy, Truepenance, Petramos, Bensler, Saileen, Caryl, Harmione and other stuff, too. I mean, surely, not everything is about Buddie when it comes to my blog. A high percentage, yes, but not 100.

"Bobby and Athena have a clip? The comments are all BUCK'S PARENTS and BUDDIE WHEN and shit."

It sounds an awful lot like you spend a fair amount of time in the YouTube comment section of said clips. May I recommend you don't? YouTube comments are just as bad as Twitter. Only pure hatred and vitriol come out in those comments, a topic you're obviously all too familiar with given this ask. Plus, tbf, I'm sure there were other comments on say a Bobby and Athena clip, about Bathena, their characters or Angela and Peter. Not everything is about Buddie in an ensemble cast. Angela and Peter have fans, too. Come on, now.

"Y'all have harassed the actors, the producers, the writers, the set workers, SO MUCH, about buddie, that they are AFRAID to fucking post."

Okay, I call bs. Sweetheart, once again, do you know how Hollywood works? Oliver might be taking a break from SM, maybe Ryan too, but do you really think every single cast member and crew member is shaking in their socks, fearful that if they post anything the Buddies will come for them? Do you think that someone as strong and down to earth like Angela is holding back for fear of someone mentioning Buck and Eddie on one of her posts? Or Aisha? Or JLH? Not to mention, regardless of whether they want to post or not, if the directive comes down from on high (meaning the network/studios) that they are strongly encouraged to post bts pics on SM aka promote, that they won't do it? Not that they can be forced (like Oliver) but do you really think that all of them would go see the corporate bigwigs and say "Gosh, we'd love to share bts pics with Angela and Peter but the Buddies scare us?" Those bigwigs would literally turn around and tell them tough freaking luck, get posting, get an intern or an assistant to do it, I don't care. And the best part? That wouldn't even happen because the cast would never ever freaking do that nor would any other cast on any other show. Because once again, that's not how Hollywood works. Hollywood is a well oiled machine and it's there to make a profit more than tell a story. Actors and writers and directors and music makers and certain departments are the creatives. Everything else is numbers.

But I do have to wonder, since you seem so certain in your assertion that Angela, Peter, Kenny, JLH, Aisha, Tracie, Ryan, Oliver, GW, Megan, Bryan, Corinne, John, and all the rest will blow to pieces if one Buddie-related comment breathes on one of their posts, does this mean you know them personally? Because if so, hook a fan up. If you know Ryan, can you send him my way? I have lots of questions about Eddie's character's back story and how he tailors his performances for certain scenes that I would love to talk to him about. If you know JLH, can you please tell her how much I love her? If you know Angela, can you just tell her that she's my goddess and I worship the ground she glides over in all of her perfection? If you know Kenny, can you ask him to give me a shoutout through JLH's Insta? If you know Peter, can you tell him that I need a firedad hug and advice and that I will pay Cameo for that if he's willing? If you know Oliver, can you please tell him that I will literally pay anything to have him record my voicemail box greeting? Pretty please with a jar of cherries on top? Thanks, pal.

"You're all deranged, delusional fucking cunts."

Hey, hey, hey! No one has ever called me deranged, let's get that straight right now. How dare. The sheer audacity.

Right, so you see, anon. Every part of your argument is invalid. And while I'm glad you slurped this sparkling turd into my ask box and not someone else's, your hatred and vitriol has been found...well, quite honestly, lacking. I think you really have to ask yourself what bothers you so much about two male fictional characters getting together romantically in the possible near future that bothers you so much that you feel the need to go on the defensive and attack any random person you see on the internet who may ship the pairing, and do your best to invalidate the pairing as a possibility at the same time. As an SPN veteran, I've seen these exact tactics used before and it usually has to do with a word that rhymes with jomophobia. Some serious self-reflection on your part appears to be needed.

I hope you have a nice night, anon. Tomorrow, go outside, enjoy the sun, touch some grass, drink some water, and try not to let the door hit your on your homophobic ass on the way out.

[ironhoshi]

Do you have any idea why Kesett isn't already an empire? I get that it's a rarepair kinda and there's no suggestion that they ever meet, but I feel like it sounds almost intuitive? I don't know, I wanted to ask you since you're a pioneer in the ship as far as I know...

I've seen a few people say they don't ship it because the two have never met and it doesn't make sense to them. Which is valid for them. I respect that. Shipping habits depend on the person, so I get it. I, personally, can ship rare pairs like whoa...often writing them on accident. The chemistry- it just smacks me in the face like a wronged rich woman who is furious I just bought the last slice of cake. And I do it again, fyi. That cake tastes better when it has a side of resentment... ahem. Sorry. I'm still drinking my coffee. Back to the question!

When I first got into Jangobi or Kenfetti (whatever you want to call it) it wasn't as big as a ship as it is now. Ships grow when more people get into them, creating art or stories to show their appreciation. That in turn pulls other people in, who share those creations and/or create their own. It is an endless cycle and one that will play out across many ships and fandoms. The right piece can snag a person and turn them into a creator, just saying.

Kesett is small, but it has already grown from what it once was. @fettupwithyou is the real pioneer. They came screaming into my messages and planted the idea in my head and I went "...that is what I am writing, isn't it?" Then I turned around and attempted to pull other people in to this ship with me. We've gone from like 3 fics to 23, so cheers to us! (Also, thank you, vod, for corrupting me.)

The thing is I don't think most consumers or makers of creations even think about the pairing? When most people are looking for something to read, at least in my experience, they are looking for what their favorite authors have written or they are searching for a specific character or pairing or tag. Which is totally fine, I do it all the time! Sometimes I just want to read certain things and sometimes I want to randomly click fics until one clicks with my mind. (Heck, I've had people tell me they only cared about certain stories I wrote so they haven't read the others.) The point is not a lot of people are searching for the Kesett of it all. That means those fics are sitting there, not read at the same volume a fic about CodyWan is- and that's just how it goes for rare pairs. You have a niche following and maybe, someday, you might get a bigger one.

Same with art. I will scroll through tumblr search like a spalunker, my pickax in hand, and unearth the fan art of the characters or pairings I want to see. Kesett, obvs, is one I really want to see, but it doesn't have a large foot mark yet. People draw what excites them and if it is some other ship? Cool! I will still probably devour that image and wish I was anywhere near as skilled as those artists. I'd draw so much Kesett you'd all chase me off this site... (also, @jars-artcollection has some slapping art for this ship.)

I think with time, and enough of me bribing people, it will grow slightly bigger, but I don't know if it will ever be the Empire that Jangobi Kenfetti is. The thing is, the more it is out there, the more people will notice.

So if you, personally, want it to careen towards an empire level? I suggest reblogging the heck out of Kesett things you like. Comment on fics, let the author know you loved the pairing and story. I'm not saying you aren't already doing that, fyi. Do this, what you are doing now. Come into my ask box and talk to me about it. I love talking about Kesett, I love trying to get people to see that they are just a couple of neat dumbasses that go well together. The more people talk to me about it, the more likely I am to write more. I am merely a flower of ideas that requires constant attention and sunlight. Shower me with words and I will spew out a story.

An empire takes everyone. The people creating and the people sharing the creations.

Now my coffee is almost gone and I want to just say one more thing:

It doesn't matter the fandom or pairing, let the creator know you liked it! It does amazing things for our ego. Give your favorite creators a random 💜 today. It will brighten their mood.

Love ya, and stay safe.

[onwriting-hrarby]

Regarding rivamika while I don’t ship them I do understand when they used in fanfiction that it is not within the same context as it is in canon especially when said fanfiction disclaims they aren’t related nor separated by a large gap. I am able to separate the two in my head.

Truthfully I can’t appreciate canonverse rivamika fics, I just can’t overlook the fact that when they did meet when they had a 15 year age gap where Mikasa was basically at the age of a high-school freshman. It’s my perception that majority of their time together was spent as viewing and respecting Levi as a superior and maybe even family because of their shared bloodline which they are both aware of no matter how distant it is. I agree that there is this annoying habit where people throw around worlds like grooming and pedophelia but I think there’s a level of truthfulness in it in this case but not in the way people portray it on the hell-site that is twitter. Even if she is a full grown woman it’s the fact that Levi was one of the few adult figures in Mikasa’s life who watched her grow up just to get with her just isn’t something I’m a fan of even with nuanced writing and character introspection.

I totally share your opinion, thay's why I don' ship them in canonverse. I can somehow overlook or understand (or it doesn't really bother me) if the story closes the age gap and begins when they are both adults (in the cases I read). I don't like the fact that Mikasa is 15, she's a child, and Levi is 30, a father figure. That' why in my fics they have quite more or siblings relationships, still, and I share completely how Levi is a protective figure to all of them. There is NO WAY I could see them together in canon. Reading something and enjoying something isn't the same as thinking so.

And reading it doesn't mean I ship it, and that's the main thing I've found that people don't understand. I do not ship rivamika, but I like reading fancition about them the same way i don't ship ererei, mikasasha, even aruani, jeansasha, zekexpieck, but I read about them. Why? Because I like to see how people explore the characters and their nuances and THE PLOT. I don't necessarily ship them, I like to watch how their personalities would match (in love, friendship). It's their synergy I look for, not the ship.

(Anyways I found people sharing my explanation post on Twitter so I guess I'm going to delete the post you referred to as well. I'll leave this here, though.)

[la-bruja-de-la-literatura]

Confessions of a Budget Witch

Originally posted by me, in the "Witches & Pagans" Amino.

Let's get this out of the way right now: Being a witch on a tight budget sucks.

Being on a tight budget in general sucks, but this entry is focusing on witches on budgets, and the shadowy, consumerist side of witchcraft and paganism circles. So hold on to your brooms, brujxs, this is going to be a log post.

The Aesthetic/ Instagram Witch

Before anybody throws stones, I have an Instagram account (with this same name). I'm not against the witch aesthetic.

In fact, I think it's great that so many people are passionate enough about art to create these wonderful images. I adore those photos with rose quartz crystal balls and points next to delicate himalayan salt lamps and towering pastel pink candles, and the magnificent bundles of dried roses and lavendar.

Would I want all of those? Goddess, no. Cleaning up all the pouring wax alone would drive me insane, and thinking of all the vacuuming involved with all the dried herbs littering the floor makes me want to take a nap.

And yet, when I close my eyes, I think of some of those images of tall candles littering an altar, of a big crystal ball and tall crystal points. I think of creating big, elaborate crystal grids. I think of a nice stone mortal and pestle I've been wanting to buy for years.

Reality, however, has to hit sometime, and for me it's always when I check my bank account and remember that I barely pay rent with my current salary on most months. I constantly need help with groceries, medical and cellphone expenses. It's gotten better, but I still am not completely financially independent.

That said, I'm fortunate enough to still have some money to buy the things I enjoy, mostly crystals, candles and readings these days. I desperately want to support other witches/spiritual healers, so I carefully look over my finances and put aside some cash for them.

Does this mean I am any less frustrated? No.

In fact, a lot of my anger bubbles up when I read a new spell or witch book with a list of ingredients, always with the note saying like "you can always substitute ingredients, but it won't have the same effect". Which begs the question of why I bother looking up spells in the first place when I usually only have kitchen herbs and my 10-15 crystals (which is quite a lot of pretty rocks as it is). I feel like all these resources ask for the few things I do not have.

Now, I won't say that all sources are like this.

Websites and YouTube channels on minimalistic witchcraft are mostly free, and books like "Light Magic for Dark Times" by Lisa Marie Basille and "Holistic Energy Magic" by Tess Whitehurst, for example, have little to no need to buy a list if ingredients. However, these tend to be the minority in the witchcraft community.

Is that the budget witches fault? Absolutely not. We all have bills to pay and real-world responsibilities. The fact that we still fit this stuff into our lives just shows how much the Craft means to us. Which beings me to my next point...

Finding Affordable and Functional Tools

Western Witchcraft tends to rely heavily on materials and tools to gain results. While many witches guarentee that you "only need yourself" to do magick, the reality is that magick without tools is incredibly difficult and almost impossible for baby witches.

The good news is that stores (in the US, at least) like Five Below and Dollar General are selling some basic stuff like candles, essential oils, crystals and incense at low prices. That said, aside from the candles, glass jars, wooden boxes and incense holders, many of those tools are low-quality. Most of the essential oils I've found at these stores, for example, are perfumed and not real plant-based oils. Tarot decks from places like Wish are usually cheap bootleg imitations that are also low-quality (and also don't support the creators). Another disadvantage is that we aren't supporting the metaphysical community when you buy from these places, which is something I find frustrating. Lastly, I've also noticed that cheap crystals are not not mined ethically, and that is another thing that I personally try to avoid buying cheap if I can.

Now, some common stores, such as pharmacies and grocery stores, are still quite useful to the budget witch. Pharmacies tend to have plant-based and cruelty-free essential oils and diffusers for good prices. Just make sure to research what can harm pets if you have them. Tea tree oil is very toxic to dogs, for example, but lavendar is not. However, lavendar is harmful to cats. Make sure to know what you're using if your pets are around you. Grocery stores are also great places to get cheap dried herbs.

Law of Attraction and The Root Chakra

If you've been reading my post, you'll have noticed that I do not like the Law of Attraction. So we are all clear, I am not against having goals, or following your dreams or passions. I am against the way this system makes the practitioner feel responsible for factors out of their control. (There is a Tumblr post that also explains how the ideology of LOA falls withing the B.I.T.E. model, which is used to identify cult ideology. I'll link it here soon).

I have also become incredibly wary of using chakras, as the popularized system that most witches use today were made-up by a white author.

What bothers me more than any of the aforementioned things is when other practitioners state that those of us in a difficult financial situation are either not working with our root chakras (which focuses on finantial stability, and livliehood) or just aren't using the Law of Attraction well enough. Blaming these kinds of difficulties on budget witches is not only shameful, but it's also usually a marketing tactic used by certain folks to make those of us desperate for money to want to buy their services to "learn how to get rich" or at least financially stable enough to thrive.

If you are interested in using the Western chakras, there are cost-effective ways to work on them, such as using meditation. Again, YouTube is a rich resource for hundreds of free and effective guided meditations on anything from chakras to spirit guides.

Also, let's not forget our good old friend, Practicality. When you get an infection, for example, your priority should the doctor/medical professional first before witchcraft, unless you have a herbal specialist that can create a safe and effective holistic medication (and this person should be, again, a professional). In the same vein, if your are going through a financial rough spot, buying a bunch of root chakra candles or crystals in the hope that your situation will improve is contradictory to what you need to do: save that money. Maybe get one or two inespensive things if you can. If not, use the free resources on hand.

Don't Allow This to Discourage You

As much as many of us claim not to need tools (and I applaud you if you manage with so little, willingly or not), the truth is that most of us like to have things on hand, and I am no exception. Books, candles, crystals, decks and herbs are what I spend my money on. I am aware that there is a materialistic aspect to the way I choose to work. I even have a cauldron and a professionally made wand, despite not being Wiccan and using both for only special occasions. Heck, right now the cauldron is just housing a bled of herbs to cleanse anything I put in it.

That's my choice. I save for some months and then buy little by little. But there are other ways to be an effective budget witch and thrive.

For example, many witches on this site have pointed out that you can make your own tools, such as wands or altar decorations, out of sticks and rocks. Some folks prefer finding their own tools. Just be careful not to pick up anything poisonous, or disturb the nest of any animals that may be around. Also, do NOT eat anything off the ground unless you are 100% sure what it is and that it has been grown in clean soil. Go to the supermarket for edible herbs if you can't find a local market or herb shop. A quick online search will help with that, and you'll be acquainted with your environment.

Tea is also another wonderful resource for the budget witch. It is easy to find, usually under $5 a box (in the USA) and good for you. Again, it's still wise to be careful when trying new herbs, but I find most tea companies will stick to fruits amd common herbs like chamomile and peppermint, to name a few. Honey pairs well with tea, great for magick, and also very accessible. You can also open tea bags for a spell, or invest in loose herb mixes and a strainer. Try buying a teapot if possible. If not, boil your water in a pot over the stove, microwaved tea isn't as good. Trust me.

Tips & Tricks

🖤Crystals are just as effective if they are small or pocket-sized, and usually a lot cheaper that way. There is the bonus perk of being able to carry them with you on the go in your bag or pockets.

🖤Use non-magickal sources as well a magickal ones to identify herbs and crystals so you can be sure they won't harm you. Crystals can also be toxic.

🖤Some people (myself included) believe normal rocks to be just as powerful as crystals. You can even try painting them the color you want to manifest, or you can put sigils on them.

🖤There are free digital tarot apps that are great for readings and having a deck with you wherever you go. The Labyrinthos and Kawaii Tarot apps are the ones I currently use.

🖤Plastic flowers and fruit can be cost-effective decor for your altar, and maybe even an offering or representation of your deity(ies) if you have any.

🖤Epsom salts are relatively cheap, and adding your own essential oils to them in a tub or foot bath is a great spa day remedy and good for metaphysical and physical cleansing. Just make sure they are real essential oils, and look up the correct dosage.

🖤White vinegar is also affordable, and efficient glass, counter-top and carpet cleaner. It also has protective properties along with salt, and it's great for cleaning your altar, if you can stand the smell.

Some Resources:

My Go-To Etsy Stores for Ethical and Affordable Crystal Buying: (I am not a sponsor for these stores, nor am I being paid to advertise them).

The Spiritnectar

Moonrise Crystal

Ethically-Sourced & Affordable Crystals. My order came with a tea bag as well!

Crystal LionGems

Budget Witch Videos:

The Witch of Wonderlust on Low-Budget Witchcraft

Magickians Budget Witch Guide

Cheap Places to Get Books that Aren't Amazon:

Thriftbooks

BookOutlet

Or rent books at your local library! You can also make requests if they don't have what you're looking for.

That's all for now, brujxs. Please tell me your thoughts, and how you handle being a budget witch. Stay safe, witchy and freaky. 💜