#and well if you wanna hear that info go take that route and ignore the shadow darting between the trees

[abimee]

advance beyond ao3 learn to make your fics have multiple choice. engage your audience like this

you know whats amazing about twine is that i can just use this to write my fics and then just force people to download my hypertext fics directly onto their computer. ao3 who? you will play the text adventure about my azem directly in your browser

[notepadsandtealeaves]

Jason Todd x GN!Reader in: Be My Present to Help Me Forget My Past

12 Days of Batmas || Day 1—Playing in the Snow

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

|| ao3 version | 12 days m.list | batboys tag | main blog ||

|| dames day 1 | dick day 1 | tim day 1 ||

“Alright doll,” he starts around a yawn, “you’ve got my attention. What do you want?”

“I want you to get up, get dressed, and come play with me–”

“If you wanna play, honey, we can do that right here—no clothes needed.”

You roll your eyes despite knowing it will go unseen. “In the snow, Jason. I want to play in the snow.”

Your words are a bouy, your very presence a beacon that guides him back into calmer waters…

��� Though they can stand alone, the fics for this particular day are all loosely connected, starting with Dick’s and ending with Tim’s.

↠ Requested By: Not a soul lol ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: SFW H/C that goes fluffy at the end ((but my blog’s 18+ if minors want to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of them staying out of this space, they can head over to my AO3)) ↠ CWs: Some PTSD vibes on Jay’s part, as well as a described panic attack. See note before the fic for more info. ((there’s also some implied intimacy as well, so… yeah lol.)) ↠ Betas? Nah, we don’t do that here. ↠ Total WC: 2.8k~

|| Be My Present to Help Me Forget My Past

CW for panic attacks. It’s described in detail, so if that’s something that bothers you, either heed the partition (look for the ‼’s) or skip this installment altogether.

Likewise there’s a CW for Jay’s PTSD. In this case it’s mostly surrounding his childhood traumas, and how they’re still affecting him even now. I don’t go super into detail, but there’s enough there to warrant a head’s up, I think.

Right, so I wanted this to be super fluffy and cute, but like… I can’t just ignore his past trauma, ya know? Prior to being taken in by Bruce, Jason had a hard life and lived on the streets for a time. Winter is brutal when you’re homeless, so I can’t imagine that his connection to the season is a completely pleasant one. Things are—well not exactly resolved, but more or less temporarily worked through with lots of love by the story’s end. So yeah, if you’re looking for pure fluff, then head over to the other boys’ fics and save yourself a bit of heartache, but if you’re down for some H/C then read on!

((And again, if these themes don’t sit well with you for any reason please don’t read! Nothing, especially a fic, is worth your peace of mind…))

“Babe! Baaaabe… Babe. Jason Peter Todd—I know you can hear me so get yo ass up.”

When all you get by way of reply is a groan that sounds suspiciously like a string of profanities you know that more extreme measures are called for. There are several routes you can take now ranging from cutesy to downright annoying, and after a few seconds of internal debating you decide on something that falls somewhere in the middle. You move to lie on top of him, covering up as much of his tall frame as you can with your own, and giggling all the while.

For his part Jay sighs as much as your added weight allows before laughing a bit himself. He wraps his arms around your middle while you tuck your head into the crook of his neck. The tight space leaves your own breaths pushing back against your face with every exhale and you have to adjust your position so that you don’t accidentally smother yourself. If circumstances were different you would be more than content to lie like this with him for the rest of the day, but the mounds of icy powder that lay just beyond your apartment’s walls beckon like a siren song.

In the wee hours of the morning Gotham had received its first proper snow of the season and you couldn’t be happier. Up until now the sky has only yielded wintery mixes composed primarily of freezing rain with the occasional drift that was only considered snow in the most technical sense. The sleek white dusting that has since covered the city in its crystalline fluff is the only thing that makes the hellish cold of an east coast winter worth braving.

“Alright doll,” he starts around a yawn, “you’ve got my attention. What do you want?”

“I want you to get up, get dressed, and come play with me–”

“If you wanna play, honey, we can do that right here—no clothes needed.”

You roll your eyes despite knowing it will go unseen. “In the snow, Jason. I want to play in the snow.”

“OoOoo. Kinky. I likes, I likes.”

“Oh my god!” You slap at his chest even as you huff out a laugh. “You’re such a perv!”

He shrugs, unrepentant and denying nothing. “But you knew that already. Just like I already knew about the snow. Patrol,” he reminds you when you let out an indignant squawk.

You vaguely remember him mumbling something about ‘bullshit weather’ when he slid into bed this morning, but given that he was clearly unscathed your brain hadn’t deemed his complaints important enough to register anything beyond that.

“Well if you know you should already be hyped! I mean, I get that chasing after baddies in the stuff isn’t fun, but– Jason stop snoring, I know you’re still awake.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I want to be,” he informs you, the words leaving him in a half groan. “Besides—snow sucks ass. It’s cold, wet, and just all around terrible. There is literally nothing to like about that shit.”

You sputter indignantly for a second, earning a cackle of laughter for your troubles. The glare you shoot him is playful and your smirk devious as you say, “Oh, so you want a Top Ten then?”

“Oh god. ____, baby, no–”

“Number one!” you all but shout as you jut your arm up and away, your index finger raised to start off the countdown.

Though you feel him tensing up around your third point it isn’t until the fifth that your words trail off lamely in confusion to his reaction.

‼ He’s steadily grown tenser as you’ve been speaking, his every muscle seizing until he’s as hard and unyielding as a slab of granite underneath you, and his disposition is just as chilly. His arms have fallen away from you, and you can just hear the sound of blunt nails scraping across the fabric of your comforter in time with his clinching fists.

Worry sets in fully now, and a quick peek at his face does little to elevate the feeling. There’s no pinching of brows or irritated pursing of lips to be found, only a deceptively neutral expression and eyes turned inwards—a chilling combination. You know this face, have seen it before during late nights or on long drives. It is one of contemplation, of remembrance of things that would be best left forgotten if not for the risk of repeating history.

Jason never talks about his past willingly, and you’ve never been one to push or pry. You’ve always figured that when he’s ready to share he’ll share, but in moments like these, when he’s gone into himself and is burrowing further still with every passing moment… ‼

Well, sometimes he needs to be saved from his own mind.

Not in some big, drastic, life altering way—he’ll never take kindly to anyone trying to change him, be it for the better or not—but with a lifeline. A buoy. Something to help him keep his head above the suffocating thoughts that seek to drown him in things long passed. You offer this to him with the carding of gentle fingers through his hair and a soft kiss to his jaw. It takes the better part of several minutes, but you do feel his body start to relax. Eventually he takes a few measured breaths—in through the nose, out through the mouth like you showed him—before purposefully pushing the last bits of tension from his muscles. The entire process takes nearly ten minutes, but by the end of it all he’s wrapped you up in his arms once again.

His hands trace down the length of your spine, one after the other, only to follow the same path upwards; the movements are tight, controlled, and of far more comfort to him than they are to you. He needs to feel you under his fingers—alive and well, warm and safe. You’re his anchor in this moment, the only thing keeping him from drifting back off into whatever inner storm he just braved. You don’t try to speak as not knowing exactly what garnered such a reaction means it’ll be better to just wait him out. So instead you continue to rub at his scalp while humming a no-name tune under your breath. You have no idea how long the two of you stay like this, and between the lulling motions of his hands and the almost unnatural warmth that he radiates you soon find yourself dozing off. Just before you can succumb fully to the induced slumber, however, he speaks.

“Winters aren’t the same when you’re a street kid,” he starts, voice barely loud enough to hear. “When you look at snow you see something fun, something to play in, and that’s good. That’s normal. But when I look at it all I can see is just one more thing between me and survival. Winter was already hellish, but snow added a whole new layer to the fuckery and I just…” He shakes his head then, jaw working under clenching teeth.

“Jay…”

“I’m sorry babe, I’m not tryin’ to be fuckin’, I dunno, whiny or anything, but–” He pauses again, huffs out an annoyed sounding breath, then continues. “All I’m tryin’ to say is that I don’t have the best memories associated with the stuff. Even before all that shit I didn’t.”

You don’t expect him to elaborate on that last bit. If his time as a street kid is a sore spot then his childhood prior to it is an open, weeping wound. Like a doctor of a century long since passed, you’ve been helping him slowly drain it, but there’s so much poison in the pain there that it will be a long while yet before it can ever begin to fully heal. Though the earliest bits of his childhood trauma are related to this, it’s only tangentially so, so you move past it without comment.

“What about after all that?” you ask instead. “You spent several years with Bruce and the rest—you must have at least a few good memories, yeah?”

“Ehhh…”

You give him a skeptical look. “Oh come on. I’ve heard the story about you bouncing a pinecone-spiked snowball off of the back of Dick’s head when he was showing off for Babs—he’s the one that told me, actually. You’re really trying to tell me you didn’t enjoy that?”

A reluctant chuckle escapes him at the memory, and the sound soon morphs into a full blown laugh as the scene replays itself in full in his mind.

Apparently Dick had been trying to impress Miss Gordon that day with some acrobatic feat or another and had earned a snowball to the dome for his troubles. This ended with the older boy on his ass and the other two laughing hysterically. From there things only devolved in the best of ways, with all three of them tossing snowballs at one another—all regulation, per Alfred’s demands—until they were left panting and sweating despite the temperature. It wasn’t until the sun had started to set that they were called in to warm up with steaming mugs and fuzzy blankets–

“–and on top of that,” he continues on, “Alfie had laid out fresh pajamas for us to change into. ‘You’ll catch your death in those sodden clothes, Master Jason. Do hurry up and change, the lot of you, so that we can start the film.’” It never ceases to amaze you how spot on his imitation of the Englishman is, not least of all because the refined cadence is almost the direct opposite of the thick Bowery accent that he usually sports.

“Of course being the asshole of a little brother that I was–”

“I like how you used the past tense there, that’s cute.”

He snorts at that before pointedly continuing, “–I wedged myself between Dick and Babs, but with karma bein’ the bitch that it is they decided to hold me down and forcibly cuddle me until the end of the movie—and It’s a Wonderful Life is not a short film, doll.” Though his words are a lament, voice and expression both tell a different story; the memory is clearly a treasured one, though you know he’ll never willingly admit to that aloud.

“Oh god. Did I ever tell you about that time Tim’s short ass walked into a snow drift and it just fuckin’ took him? Like he was there one minute and the next—nothing. All we heard was a scream and then he was gone. And then there was that time Bruce couldn’t stop falling down the stairs outside the Manor. Dude’s supposed to have all that bat-agility, but a little ice almost ended his whole damn career…”

The pair of you go back and forth for a long while, sharing stories and laughter until your eyes are leaking and your tummies are sore. At some point during the exchange you’d been forced to roll off of him, though Jason hadn’t let you get far; you end up beside him, tucked under his arm with your own slung over his chest. Your words have run low by now, with the last story having tapered off into laughter a while ago. Jay is once again lost in his thoughts, though these, you’re happy to note, seem to be far more pleasant than those he’d hosted before. Several long moments pass in a comfortable silence, with him running gentle fingers over your arm, and you just enjoying the feeling of being held by your love. When he looks over at you some odd minutes later there’s enough love and contentment in his gaze to leave your breath catching.

“I guess it wasn’t all bad after all,” he admits after a moment.

You nod at that. “It’s always easier to dwell on the shitty memories, I guess; makes it harder to remember the good times.”

“Very true.”

“So you wanna make some more? Memories, I mean—good ones—with me?”

His replying smile is a slow, lazy thing that knocks years off of his face leaving behind the boy that had once upon a time donned tights and a cape. “Of course, doll, always—but first…” His lips set themselves into a grin fit to rival that of the Grinch at his most devious before descending on yours.

He holds you close then, kissing you slow and deep enough to steal the air from your lungs, though he’s quick to replace it with the sighs and moans he breathes into your kiss. Your protests are half-hearted at best, with Jay’s reminder that “The snow’ll keep” being all the rebuttal needed to see you yielding.

“The fuck is that sound?”

You hadn’t noticed the noise before, but now that you’re more awake it’s all that you can focus on. It takes a minute for your sleep-addled brain to zero in on the source, though once you do–

“It’s your phone,” you half sigh, half groan as you burrow more fully into your man’s warmth.

His pleads for you to “Make it stop, please” rumble through his chest to reverberate through your body. The feeling has the exact opposite effect, as it only makes you want to fall deeper into slumber.

“No you.”

“No you.”

“You.”

“Yooooou…”

“Jason, I can barely feel my legs and your phone’s on the other side of the room. Both of these things are a direct result of your actions. If you think–”

“Alright, alright, damn. I’ll get it myself…” Chuckling a bit under his breath, he untangles himself from your embrace before slinking over to the still vibrating phone. As he scrolls through the texts he stretches out across the length of the foot of the bed.

“Ay, you still wanted to play in the snow?” he asks a few moments later.

You prop yourself up on your elbows to get a better look at him. Aside from some lingering grogginess he doesn’t seem nearly as opposed to the idea as he had been before. “…Mayhaps… Why?”

His reply comes in the form of him sliding his phone up the bed towards you. You pick up the tiny device, eyes quickly scanning over the open text thread.

Dickhead: ♫♪♩Do you wanna build a snowman~♫♪♩

Quality bonding time @ the manor!!! ☃️️❄️👏☕🍬

We haven’t hung out as a group in forever so pls come 👉👈 🥺🥺🥺

🙏🙏🙏 😤💖💖😤

There’s a bit of back and forth between the eldest child and his little brothers, though you find yourself ignoring it in favor of critiquing Dick’s emoji usage. It’s about on par with that of a teenaged girl, but somehow he makes it endearing—to you at least. Jay is not at all amused by his brother’s texting etiquette.

“The emoji to word ratio in these texts is a little concerning,” you admit, laughing a bit.

“That’s putting it mildly.”

“A big part of why he keeps it up is because he knows how much you hate it.”

“I know. It’s like trying to read hieroglyphics, and it’s annoying as shit. If I didn’t have you and Cass and Steph to translate I wouldn’t know what he’s trying to say ninety percent of the time. Dumbass’ not gonna be happy until I pop him one, I swear. And Tim’s no fucking better. When the Brat’s the most tolerable one of the bunch you know you’ve fucked up… Annoying assholes, the whole damn lot of ‘em.”

“Right. So you’re down to go, yeah?”

“…Yeah…”

Giggling a bit you type up a reply before relocking the phone and hopping out of bed.

We’ll be there!! 💙💙💙

Dickhead: !!!!

Jaybird! This is the first time you sent me an emoji that wasn’t some sort of profanity or an insult 😭​​​

I’m so happy!

So proud!!

So touched!!! ​💕​💕​💕​

I’m gonna call you now so pick up, kay??

The flurry of text-tones leaves your man groaning and you quickly pulling together the makings of an outfit. You know you won’t be able to escape the apartment completely, but you should be able to make it into the bathroom before he realizes what you sent–

“Why’s this asshole still blowing up my phone…? Now he’s calling. Fuck you callin’ me fo–? Excuse me? I sent what?”

–or not.

“Welp, gotta blast!”

Ignoring the way Jay growls out your name you dart into the next room, choking on your own laughs all the while. You can almost swear that you hear your boyfriend laughing as well, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be locking the door behind you.

“Goddammit babe, why would you–?! No, no. The hell I did! That was ____! If you try to hug me, on god I will end you, Dickbreath…”

Up Next:

🌟 Day 2: It’s Always the Little Things… || Cuddling by the Fire

“I told you doll, I don’t want you worryin’ about that shit. I got dinner and anything else you need—I got you.”

Somehow he always knows what you need…

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2020 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

[missusk]

The Rhythm of Your Heartbeat (OC x Piers) Commissioned by @danni-dollarsign Commission info

~~

“What’re you fidgeting so much for?” Marnie asked as she languidly sprawled on the couch, her legs dangling over the arm. “Yer as ornery as Morpeko.”

“Huh?” her brother grunted, again pacing the length of their living room. “Nothin’, nothin’…”

“Yea, ‘mkay,” she said with a roll of her eyes as she returned to brushing the Morpeko sitting on her lap.

Piers grumbled a response that was intelligible to both of them. Truthfully, he had been wearing a rut in their carpet this entire week, pacing back and forth as he racked his brain for conversation topics to have with that woman he had seen around recently. Her name was Nora, she had a Misdreavous, and she had a booth set up sometimes in Spikemuth, sometimes in Hammerlocke, and sometimes he didn’t see her for days. That was all he knew about her. The frustrating part, however, was that he wanted to know more about her than just those three things. Like, if she was single, for one, and for two if she would bother wanting to hang out with a bloke like him.

The Gym Leader was unfortunately getting to the point where he would keep an eye out for her whenever he left town, and even to where he would purposefully trek to Hammerlocke after the sun had set, just to see if that booth was lining any of the streets in his town or the neighboring’s.

“’m goin’ out,” Piers said as he pulled on his jacket. He was met with an ‘aye’ from his sister, and soon stepped into the smoky air of Spikemuth in the night.

Neon lights buzzed as his shoes crunched along the streets, littered with empty bottles and cans and unfortunately no occult booths with beautiful women inside. Piers huffed, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets and scolding himself for how he was acting. It wasn’t like him to take evening strolls, nor was it like him to be pining after some stranger… and yet, here he was, his eyes scanning the streets and his feet moving forward despite himself.

This was stupid… if he got to the Pokémon Center with no sight of her, then he’d turn right around and give up on all this rubbish. He offered nods of greetings to the handful of fans he passed at the local bars and tourist spots – as touristy as Spikemuth could be, at least – and soon he saw the only greenery of Spikemuth flowering beside the doors of the Pokémon Center.

Alright, time to go back home and forget all this. Piers motioned to turn, only for his gaze to catch on someone stepping into town. His heart dropped, then thundered in his chest as he stood staring at Nora walking towards him. Long legs, graceful gait, mysterious eyes – Piers was suddenly finding it challenging to swallow, and yet he kept moving forward while both his thoughts and heart skipped.

She set down the bundle she was carrying, unfurling the tent as her Misdreavous flittered around her. Piers nearly jumped when her eyes met his, as apparently he had stepped right up to her without realizing.

“Oh, hello. I’m not open yet,” she said with a light smile. “Give me just a moment to set up and I’ll be right with you.”

It was like Piers’ brain was left in the rut in his living room carpet because all he offered as a response was a blank stare.

“…sir?”

“’chu, um, help?” Piers stammered. Apparently, he left his vocabulary at home too.

“Um,” Nora said quietly. “Pardon?”

“D-D’you, uh, want some help?” Piers corrected, shaking his head into focus. “Hanging ou-, er, hanging up? Hanging that up? Hanging your tent up?”

Nora blinked a few times, as did Piers, as they both processed what the hell he just stuttered out. He wished he wasn’t so pale because he could practically feel his face burning with embarrassment. His mouth was as dry as a Cottonee so he didn’t risk saying anything after that monstrosity of a sentence.

“I usually do it myse-“

“Aye, right, right,” Piers blurted. “Sorry to be a bother, then, I’ll leave ya be.”

And with that, Piers turned on his heel and was immediately marching back home. His thoughts were whirring and thus he didn’t hear Nora finish her sentence.

“…but I wouldn’t mind some help,” she finished, her eyebrows pulling together as Piers escaped. She glanced to Misdreavous, who simply shrugged in response, and Nora went back to setting up her tent.

Before Piers knew it, he was stepping through his front door, grunting a greeting to Marnie who said ‘that was fast’, and then he flopped onto his mattress with a wumph.

So much for that.

--

Piers wasn’t too pleasant to be around the next few days according to Marnie, as all he would do was rotate between his angsty, moody, and sadboy playlists. When he finally emerged from his room to eat, Marnie cornered him.

“When was the last time ya went outside?” she huffed, hands on her hips. “Don’t you like, have to do your job?”

“’s fine,” Piers said as he brushed past her. “Challenge season ain’t here yet anyway.”

“Yer getting’ paler, Piers,” Marnie said. “Go outside today. Go train with Raihan or somethin’, your Pokémon shouldn’t suffer just ‘cuz you want to sulk.”

“Fine,” he said, deciding that his little sister was more than right about how he shouldn’t ignore his Pokémon. “I’ll text ‘im.”

It didn’t take long for the sun to set and for Piers to be on his way out again, this time passing the Pokémon Center, the Route 9 tunnel, and the gates of Hammerlocke. He forced himself to keep his gaze forward, and not drift along the roadside for sight of that familiar tent. All was going according to plan as he stepped into the city, past the Pokémon Center, and past the train station. It wasn’t until he reached the bottom of the staircase beside the station that he paused.

A whimsical noise was wafting through the air, almost ethereal in how it made the hair on his neck stand on end. Piers’ focus immediately rerouted from his upcoming training with Raihan to whatever that noise was, because he was certain it was coming from up the steps. He took them two at a time, now mesmerized by the ghostly music. He arrived at what looked to be a church – it was certainly a building he had never been in before – and his heart started pounding harder the closer he got, as the music was spilling out of the stained-glass windows. It was haunting, operatic, and one of the most beautiful things Piers had ever heard. He pulled open the doors to the church, craving for the song to be closer, closer, close enough to dwell in his bones. Who did that voice belong to? The building was dark, uninhabited, and when the doors rattled opened, the music stopped.

“Hello?” Piers called after a moment, his voice resounding off the domed ceilings. He waited a moment, then a moment more, before turning again to the doors. He suddenly heard the faint sound of shuffling, then the echo of a door closing. When he glanced up, he caught a brief glimpse of a purple figure wisping away.

No other sounds echoed, no other music played, so when the only noise in the church was his own breathing, Piers turned and left through the heavy double doors. When he was greeted by the night air again, a shuffling to his right caught his attention. It was that same wispy, purple figure, but beside that was the outline of a woman.

“Hey, wait!” Piers called suddenly, rushing up to her. “Was that you singing?”

The woman turned, her dark hair cascading over her shoulder. Yet again Piers’ breath caught, as those were the same mysterious eyes that had been occupying his mind for so long.

“Yes,” Nora said quietly. Piers had never noticed how her voice was almost a melody in itself. “I didn’t realize how much my voice was carrying, I apologize.”

“You’re amazing,” Piers breathed out. When Nora made no response, it was as if Piers’ entire consciousness finally caught up to him and he quickly shifted from an awe-struck gaze into one that was a bit like a Deerling in headlights “I-I mean, you, you uh, you gotta nice set of pipes. Not bad, I mean. Not that you’d be bad, I just, I-I didn’t realize you sang too. I sing, y’know. I’m in a band. Would you wanna duet sometime?”

“…pardon?” Nora asked, gray eyes quizzical.

“O-or ‘sthat weird? Sorry, I’ll jus-“

“Wait!” Nora blurted, reaching out to Piers. Her fingers curled around his wrist for only a second before she yanked her hand back again, but the touch still seemed to linger. “Yes, I would like to. That sounds nice.”

“Foreal?” Piers asked, blinking in surprise. “I-I mean great, that’s great. I’m Piers, by the way.”

“I know,” Nora said, her gaze bashfully flicking downward. The sight drew a bashful smile from Piers as well. “I’m Nora.”

“I know,” Piers repeated, his cheeks again staining pink. “I’ve noticed you in Spikemuth sometimes.”

A sweet anticipation filled the space between them, at least until Piers’ phone started vibrating madly in his pocket. Ah, shit, that’s right… Raihan.

“How about tomorrow? You can come to my place in Spikemuth?” Piers started. “I’d say let’s go now but I’m late for training and he won’t let me hear the end of it if I don’t show.”

“Tomorrow sounds good,” Nora said, offering Piers a soft smile. “Can I get your number in case I get lost?”

Piers nodded quick enough for his ponytail to threaten to come undone, and the two eagerly traded numbers. With a bashful goodbye from them both, Piers made his way to Raihan’s gym with a subtle spring in his step, humming a sweet song to himself.

--

Piers and Nora’s first song session went well, as did their second, third, fourth, and all of the rest until they lost count. Although they were no longer strangers to one another, Piers’ heart still seemed to rattle in his chest whenever Nora was close. She snuggled next to him, tucking her head under his chin in the exact way that made him melt. Marnie was off with some of her new friends, so it was just Piers and Nora left in the house, and even though they had plenty of space, they seemed to want to occupy as little as possible as they curled around each other.

“Piers?” Nora whispered, her breath warming his neck and yet sending shivers down his spine.

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you came into the church that day.”

“Me too.”

Nothing else needed to be said, as their bodies both spoke volumes as they lay under the covers together. She was his song, he was her melody, and the rhythm of their hearts beat in tandem as they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

[iffeelscouldkill]

say what we wanna do, make it all come true (chapter 1)

A/N: It is! My fic for the Fiction Podcast Big Bang @podcastbigbang! I am a bit terrified to be posting this after working on it for so long! Also this is in the running for the Longest TSCOSI Fic I’ve Written So Far (not sure if it’s the longest because I don’t remember where my wordcount is up to for Adjusting, but like... it’s long, guys). This is Chapter 1 of 3, and the remaining chapters will be posted weekly!

You can read this on AO3 where the formatting is honestly much better, but here it is on Tumblr anyway. Also, please check out the FANTASTIC artwork made for this fic by the wonderful @bluereadingdolphin and @demonic-kitkats, who are my artists for this fic and their artwork is so good, you guys, I’m in love and they did such a phenomenal job with the honestly pretty vague info they got from me 😂 

bluereadingdolphin’s piece

demonic-kitkat’s piece (from Chapter 2!)

Please give them all the love!

Content warnings: There is a relatively brief physical altercation described in this chapter, but it isn’t graphic or bloody.

Also, I play a little fast and loose with POV in this; the first section is told from Sana’s perspective, the rest from Arkady’s.

---

“Hello and welcome back to Radio Indie, Folk and Techno, also known as RIFT, where we play all the bands that matter outside of the mainstream! I’m Piper Tanaka, and I’m your co-host for this programme! I’m joined as usual by the lovely Kestrel Colvin, with Reina Sakamachi in the booth! Now – where were we?”

“You were introducing our guests for this next section,” Kestrel replied in a slightly despairing tone.

“Right! Indie fans, I am joined today by two members of the fabulous up-and-coming indie band Rumor! With me in the studio are frontwoman and lead guitarist Sana Tripathi—”

“Hey! It’s a pleasure to be here.”

“—and bad girl bassist Arkady Patel.”

“Bad girl?” Arkady repeated, sounding halfway between taken aback and annoyed. Kestrel just shook her head.

“Ignore her. She’s got a thing for a certain… aesthetic.”

Next to Arkady, Sana was doing an incredibly poor job of hiding her laughter. “It’s the combat boots,” she whispered to Arkady.

“These are practical,” Arkady told her in a tone that suggested they’d had this conversation a few times. Sana said nothing, but straightened back up with a smirk.

“Sana — or should I call you ‘Captain’?” Piper began playfully. Sana grimaced.

“In hindsight, it was a poor choice to share that nickname in an interview.”

“You know, I think it suits you,” said Piper. “There’s something commanding about your aura. Sana, you and the band — which I understand you and Arkady originally started as a duo a few years ago—”

“That’s right,” Sana confirmed.

“You’ve always had a dedicated and loyal following, even from your early days — and we’re proud to have been playing your music here on this station for almost as long — but I think it’s fair to say the past few months have seen that rocket to a whole new level,” Piper said. “You got signed to a record label belonging to the mysterious but notoriously discerning Red Gregor, are working on your second album, and played a major gig at the CUI stadium just a few weeks ago. And we are definitely going to talk later about what went down at that gig, which is already the stuff of online legend — but first I want to backtrack a little, because I think the moment that everything started happening for you was when you added a new member to your band. In the middle of a gig, if the rumours are true. Can you tell us how that happened?”

Sana and Arkady exchanged a sidelong glance, and Arkady gave Sana a tiny nod. Sana took a deep breath, and began to tell the story.

---

“Jeeter, for the last time, put the keytar away,” Arkady said irritably as she and Sana entered the draughty, abandoned warehouse that the band was using as their current rehearsal space. The acoustics were pretty weird, probably due to all the broken windows, but it was otherwise hard to beat a free place to rehearse — especially a free place with no asshole neighbours who would yell at them to turn it down and threaten to call the cops.

Admittedly, it was in kind of a rough area, but Arkady had only needed to knock someone unconscious with her bass once.

In retaliation, Brian played another bright riff on his beloved instrument, accompanied by some jazzy keyboard chords from Krejjh. The two had been jamming together before Arkady and Sana arrived. “Dude, c’mon, can’t you hear how good this sounds?” Brian wheedled. “How many other indie bands do you know that have a keytar?”

“None. For good reason,” Arkady said, unzipping her case and slinging her bass around her neck. Sana, unpacking the sound equipment, smiled in fond amusement at their well-worn argument.

“It would give us such a great edge! Totally unique. And Krejjh and I have so many ideas that would sound great with both instruments—”

“Okay, Jeeter,” Arkady interrupted him, twiddling one of her tuning pegs. “You can play the keytar. Just as soon as you find us someone else who can play the drums.” She stooped to plug her bass into the portable amplifier that Sana had just unpacked. “Or are you planning to grow an extra pair of hands so you can play both at once?”

“Oooh! No, I should have an extra pair of hands!” Krejjh immediately (and predictably) enthused. “Then I’d sound four times as awesome! Four hands, all rockin’ out!”

“I think you mean ‘twice as awesome’,” Sana told them, as Brian reluctantly put away his keytar and picked up his neglected drumsticks.

“With me, twice the hands equals four times the awesome,” Krejjh replied with irrefutable logic. Brian laughed and held up a hand.

“Dude, high five.”

Sana waited for the two of them to finish their congratulatory high-five before she called the band to order. “Okay, guys — remember that we’re only a few days out from our gig at the IGR Corp function, so we need to have our crowd-pleasers up to standard.”

Arkady immediately wrinkled her nose. “Ugh, corporates. Why are we taking money from them again?”

“Because we need to pay for rent and food,” Sana said, bluntly. “And they’re giving us a lot for it. I know none of us love playing corporate gigs—”

“Understatement.”

“—but we are living a hand to mouth existence at this point, and if I can guarantee our survival as a band by relieving some corporates of their excess funds, then I’m going to do just that,” Sana continued. She waited a beat, and then added, “Also, we’re gonna let them get really drunk and then start playing our best anti-capitalist anthems, and see how long it takes for them to notice.”

Arkady broke into a shit-eating grin. “That’s more like it.” Krejjh cheered, and Brian did a little run-down on his drumkit, hitting each of the drums in turn.

“All right, let’s start with ‘Fear for the Storm’? One, two, three, four…” Sana started strumming the intro on her guitar, joined after a few beats by Krejjh’s melody on the keyboard.

“So long, can’t dodge the dawn, red light shines on and on and on and on and on…”

---

Arkady had been on edge ever since the band set foot in the agonisingly hipster office complex — excuse me, ‘headquarters’ — belonging to IGR Corp.

It wasn’t just the fact that these guys were extremely corporate corporates, or that the whole place radiated an almost aggressively minimalist aesthetic, or that the walls were covered in bullshit, chipper slogans that were all fancy ways of saying, ‘Work should be your existence – if isn’t, you’re dead to us’ — although those things sure as hell didn’t help, reminding her of the absolute worst parts of every soul-sucking corporate job she’d worked before Sana mercifully re-entered her life and suggested they form a band.

No, there was just this weird vibe, like everyone was super on edge and trying to hide it — the higher-ups were stone-faced, muttering into earpieces or barking orders at underlings, who scurried, terrified, to carry out their wishes. And everyone else, from the tech types in plain white T-shirts and jeans to the smartly-dressed sales reps in suits, looked like they were there on pain of death. Wasn’t this supposed to be a party?

The atmosphere didn’t go unnoticed by the other band members. “Kind of a weird feel to this place,” Jeeter remarked as he unpacked his drumkit on the raised platform at the front of the ‘rec center’ where they would be performing. Normally, setting up was a noisy, clumsy affair, with the band elbowing each other, tripping over wires, and getting in each other’s way in the tiny space they were afforded in bars and nightclubs. Here, the platform that would be their makeshift stage was huge and extremely visible — but everyone was completely ignoring them. There was also very little background noise for a room packed with people, and the band found themselves speaking in hushed murmurs, almost tiptoeing around. “You’d think there would be a bit more… chatter?”

“Maybe the alcohol just isn’t flowing yet,” Sana speculated, but she sounded uneasy as she looked out over the tense crowd. Even Krejjh, with their signature hot pink, heart-shaped sunglasses perched on top of their dyed-lavender hair, dressed in a clashing, flamboyant jumble of clothes and accessories, seemed subdued.

Arkady plugged in her bass with a burst of static, and deliberately played a loud riff. Brian startled and dropped his drumstick, but not a single member of the sea of blandly-dressed IGR Corp employees flinched.

Weird.

The sound equipment was all set up, sound check performed and instruments tuned by half past, but the set wasn’t due to start until o’clock. Normally, Arkady would be making a beeline for the bar, but she didn’t really feel like rubbing shoulders with any of these weird drones. She found herself reflexively checking the exits, mentally charting their fastest route out of there in case something really fucked up started going down. Sana half-jokingly called it paranoia; Arkady called it long, hard experience.

It was on one of her scans of the room that she noticed the woman with the septum piercing. Arkady chalked it up to professional interest — as a kid, she’d picked up some extra money working as an assistant in a tattoo and piercing shop, The Landing. She’d first met Sana there when the other woman came in on several occasions to have work done on an amazingly intricate floral sleeve tattoo — her own design. Later, Sana had led a campaign to save The Landing from being shut down over a bunch of bullshit health code violations so that the billionaire Cresswin family — who owned the property — could sell it off to a shitty corporation.

The campaign hadn’t worked, and there was now a high rise office block where Arkady’s home from home had once stood. But Arkady had never forgotten Sana.

Anyway, it was definitely the woman’s piercing and not anything else about her appearance that caught Arkady’s attention first. But then she noticed that there was something off about her body language and the way she was moving — something that Arkady recognised. She wasn’t scurrying about in a panic or affecting bored disinterest; her eyes were flickering around the room, carefully monitoring the comings and goings of the other employees while seeming not to do so. There were little devices studded around the room that Arkady had clocked as security cameras the moment they entered (it was the kind of thing she made a habit of noticing), and she saw the woman glancing up at them.

She was dressed like an employee – white blouse, dark rinse blue jeans – so why was she acting like she was casing the joint? Of course, Arkady reasoned, the outfit could easily have been chosen to blend in. It didn’t necessarily mean she worked there.

“Seen something interesting, ‘Kady?” Sana asked playfully. Arkady didn’t startle, but it was a near thing; she’d been so focused on watching this woman.

Unfortunately, Sana saw where she’d been looking. “You know, we’ve still got close to half an hour before we start our first set,” she said. “You can go and mingle.”

“I’m not here to socialise,” Arkady said witheringly. “Least of all with corporate drones.” She tore her eyes away from the woman to meet Sana’s amused look.

“I’m just saying, you seemed pretty absorbed there…” Sana said, and Arkady rolled her eyes, determined not to respond to her best friend’s teasing. She glanced back at the spot where the woman had been standing and found it empty.

A second later, Arkady had found her again, weaving through the crowd with her head ducked down. She was taking an odd route across the room that Arkady realised must have been calculated to avoid the security cameras. Occasionally she disappeared, behind people or objects (like a huge, obviously fake ficus plant), but it wasn’t hard for Arkady to spot her again. Clearly there was some kind of purpose to what she was doing, but the woman wasn’t a professional.

There was an elevator against the far wall, and as Arkady watched, the doors opened and a small group of people in suits – latecomers to the party – walked out of it. The woman mingled with them briefly, and then disappeared inside the elevator. The doors closed.

Well, that had been a way to kill five minutes, but now Arkady was stuck with nothing to do again. Krejjh and Jeeter had pulled out a pack of cards, and were playing one of their weird games on top of Krejjh’s keyboard. Arkady turned to Sana, about to make another comment about how much this place creeped her out, when she caught sight of the other person moving across the room.

Judging by the expensive suit, they were a higher-up, and were taking none of the precautions the woman had when making their way across the room, which suggested that they were confident about being allowed to do whatever it was they were doing. And to Arkady, it looked an awful lot like they were following the woman she’d seen. Based on the way the suit jacket fell, she’d also bet even money that they were armed.

Sure enough, the suit called the elevator, and disappeared into it a second later. Arkady swore under her breath.

It was none of her goddamn business whether a person she didn’t even know might be in danger, Arkady told herself. She was here to play music, not to get in the middle of whatever might be going down at this godawful corporation. Which again, was none of her business anyway.

Her resolve lasted all of ten seconds.

“I’m going to get a drink,” she told Sana, and placed her bass onto its stand.

“Oooh! Bring me a cocktail – no, a mocktail!” Krejjh said. Sana just looked at her quizzically.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Arkady nodded briefly. “I’ll be right back,” she said, and jumped down off the platform.

She wasn’t under any illusions that Sana wouldn’t notice where she was going, and just hoped that her best friend would trust her to be back in time for the set. She slipped through the crowd, following the same path that the woman had taken to avoid the watchful eyes of the security cameras.

This worked right up until she entered the elevator, where sure enough, a security camera was embedded into the top corner. How had this woman planned to avoid getting caught?

Arkady pulled out her smartphone, and began to quickly and expertly worm her way into the closed network that IGR Corp was using for its security systems. After just a few moments, she’d managed to identify the IP address that the lift camera was using, and wow, whoever had set up this system was either incredibly lazy or was trying to lay out a welcome mat for hackers. They hadn’t bothered to change the default access password.

Arkady wound back the last few minutes of recorded video, and watched as the woman with the septum piercing pressed the button for the top floor. Arkady did the same, and as the elevator moved upwards, she introduced a glitch that would cause the security camera to loop footage of an empty elevator instead of showing who was actually inside. Then she worked to edit out the archive footage of the woman riding up in the elevator, and of herself getting in.

If it turned out that there was nothing weird going on here after all, well, she’d had some fun exploiting the corporates’ shitty security system.

But Arkady was pretty sure there was something weird going on.

The elevator came to a silent stop, and Arkady silently thanked the deities she didn’t really believe in for the fact that this place was too hipster to have an elevator that made a noise when it arrived at the right floor. The doors slid open, and Arkady immediately spotted another security camera on exiting the elevator. God, these corporates were paranoid. But apparently not paranoid enough to pay their security person to do their job properly.

Annoyingly, the security cameras for this floor seemed to be on a separate network, and Arkady started another hack as she crept down the corridor, straining her ears for the sounds of a confrontation. Further down, she saw an office door swinging open, as if someone had gone through it in a hurry. Arkady approached it, being careful to stay out of sight of the doorway. Closer to, she could hear a voice coming from inside – the suit’s, if she had to guess.

“…sure CEO Golding-Frederick will be very interested to hear just what you’re doing in her office, Ms. Liu.”

“Seiders, I can explain,” the woman – Liu – replied, her voice high with tension. “Project ADVANCE – it’s not what we’ve been told. The company is using it to-”

“What the company may or may not be doing with Project ADVANCE is not your concern,” Seiders said smoothly, over her, “and is a long way above your pay grade. But I’d be very interested to learn where you got your information from.”

“Do you know what’s going on at this company?” Liu demanded, outraged. “And that’s – you have no problems with what they’re doing?”

The closed network for the top floor of the building was much less of a pushover than the elevator, and Arkady kept half of her attention on the conversation inside the room as she worked to find a flaw in the system. Finally, she made it in, and began trying different password combinations for the camera in the hallway.

“It’s not my job to ask questions, Ms. Liu,” Seiders had been saying. “Neither is it yours. And if you value your job – not to mention the safety and security of your loved ones – you’ll step away from that computer, and go back downstairs to the party.”

“Are you threatening me? Are you threatening my family?” Liu demanded. “No, I’m not going to stay silent about this. Someone has to take a stand against what this company is doing. And if anything happens to me, that’ll only raise more questions.”

“We’re very good at making those questions go away,” said Seiders, and Arkady heard Liu suck in a breath. She moved so that she could see inside the room and shit, that was a gun. Arkady rapidly began calculating her angle of attack. “Didn’t you ever wonder what happened to Connors from Engineering?”

“That’s not – you can’t just make a person disappear,” Liu said, desperately. “I – I have insurance! Documents that I’ve sent to a friend of mine. If I don’t check in with them in two hours, they’re going to send them to a journalist contact, and it’ll be all over the press in the morning.”

Arkady could hear the lie in her voice so clearly, and she knew Seiders could, too. “If you had enough evidence to be worth a damn, you wouldn’t have broken into this office,” they replied. “I’m going to ask you one last time. Step away from the-”

Arkady slammed into the room, deliberately making as much noise as she could to draw Seiders’ attention. She took two, three steps towards them and grabbed their gun hand, forcing it down and towards the floor. She managed to hook one arm around their throat, pulling back and applying pressure. Seiders choked, struggling and jerking against Arkady’s grip. With the hand that was holding their gun hand, Arkady twisted and pulled their fingers open, causing the weapon to drop to the floor.

“Liu, grab the gun!” Arkady ordered. She saw the other woman yank something out of the computer that looked like a flash drive, stowing it inside her blouse. She dove for the gun at the same time that Seiders managed to thrust an elbow back, driving it into Arkady’s midsection.

All the air left Arkady’s lungs and as she struggled to draw a breath in, Seiders took advantage of her loosened grip to twist free. They grappled with Liu for the gun, but Liu succeeded in kicking it away, where it spun underneath a nearby cabinet. Then Arkady was on Seiders again, jumping onto their back and choking them.

She heard the sound of running footsteps, and someone else burst into the room. Arkady didn’t get a chance to see who it was before Seiders slammed their head back, knocking into Arkady’s and making bright white lights explode across her vision. She dropped to the floor and staggered, trying to clear her head.

She heard an oof and a thud, and blinked rapidly, sure that she would open her eyes to see Seiders bearing down on Liu – or worse, standing over her unconscious body.

Instead, she was greeted with the sight of Seiders crumpling like a sack of potatoes as Sana flexed her fist, having delivered a powerful uppercut that knocked them out cold.

Silence reigned for a few seconds, broken only by Liu’s sharp, panicked breaths. Rubbing her head, Arkady said, “Hey, Sana.”

“The next time you decide to go off on a rescue mission,” Sana said, wryly, “you could at least tell me where you’re going.” She frowned as she took in Arkady’s dishevelled state. “Is your head all right?”

“I’ll be fine,” said Arkady. She was more concerned with Liu, who looked like she might be on the verge of a panic attack. “Hey, uh, it’s okay. We took care of them.”

“Who-” Liu managed, taking deep breaths in and out, clearly trying to steady her breathing. “Who are you?”

Sana smiled at her, warm and reassuring. “My name is Sana Tripathi, and this is Arkady Patel. We’re-”

There was a noise that sounded not unlike a herd of elephants storming down the corridor, and Arkady closed her eyes. She had a bad feeling she knew what was about to happen. Sure enough, in the next second Krejjh and Jeeter clattered through the door in all their clashing multicoloured glory: Jeeter in his signature loud paid shirt and those stupid khakis, and Krejjh with their… everything. Most of the clattering was coming from Krejjh’s many bangles.

“Cap’n Tripathi!” Krejjh said. “We’re here to assist you with – oh my god, are they dead?” They stared at the unconscious form of Seiders on the floor.

“They’re not dead, they’re just unconscious,” Arkady said, irritated. “Did you two really take off without anyone to watch the equipment?”

Sana turned back to Liu like nothing had happened. “We’re the band,” she finished succinctly. “I’m the guitarist and lead singer, Arkady here plays the bass, and Krejjh and Brian are our keyboardist and drummer.” She indicated each of them in turn. Jeeter waved, and Krejjh saluted for some reason. “And who are you?”

Liu blinked at her. “You… you just saved my life, and you don’t even know who I am?” she said. “Why would you do that?”

“For one thing, because you’d probably be dead if we hadn’t,” Arkady said. “You’re welcome for that, by the way.” She pulled out the phone to finish the hack on the security cameras that she’d started before she entered the room.

“I – no, I know that. I’m not ungrateful,” Liu said, sounding a little stung. “I’m just a little… in shock. My name is Violet Liu,” she added to Sana. “I, uh, work in IGR Corp’s neuroresearch division.”

“Good to meet you, Violet Liu,” Sana said, sounding like they were old friends catching up at the bar instead of total strangers talking to each other over an unconscious body. “’Kady, are you erasing the security footage?”

Arkady nodded.

“Good; Brian and I will carry our friend here,” Sana indicated Seiders with her foot, “into the hallway. I think I noticed a closet there we can hide them in.”

“Uh… are you guys really the band?” Liu asked, as Sana and Jeeter – who was much stronger than he looked – bent down to pick up Seiders. “You seem very…” She struggled to find the right words. “…good at this.”

“We have some unorthodox skillsets,” Sana said, beaming and dimpling at her. “We don’t normally make a habit of rescuing people in the middle of a gig, but Arkady has a soft spot for damsels in distress.”

Arkady fumbled her phone, and nearly dropped it. “Sana,” she hissed, mortified. Sana, who was already partway out of the door, winked and disappeared into the hallway.

After a moment, Arkady realised that she and Liu were the only ones in the room, Krejjh evidently having decided to go along and supervise, or something. She refocused her attention on the hack she was carrying out; she’d managed to hack the hallway security camera, and was erasing the footage from that, but she still needed to do the one in the office.

“Uh…” Liu awkwardly broke the silence. “Is there anything that you need me to…”

“Is anyone likely to be monitoring the security cameras in real-time?” Arkady asked her. The question came out sounding a little harsher than she’d intended, but it was hard to be diplomatic when she was focused on trying to break into a security system. Also, it was a little annoying that Liu apparently hadn’t thought about security cameras beyond the ones on the ground floor.

“N-no, the system is all automated,” Liu replied. Well, that was something, at least. “I, uh, I do have a virus that I was planning to use on the security system that would corrupt the footage. I just needed to find an access point.”

Fine, so there had been a plan of sorts. “This is quicker,” Arkady told her. “And the way I’m doing it, it won’t be so obvious that someone has tampered with the footage.”

“Thank you for that,” Liu said, quietly. “And thank you for – I mean, you don’t even know me, but you came up here to help me. Why?”

Arkady shrugged, keeping her shoulders hunched and avoiding Liu’s gaze. “You looked like you were in trouble,” she said shortly. And that was the office camera done. Arkady resisted the urge to change the password to something rude, and withdrew from the network. “And I don’t like corporations. What were you trying to do, blow the whistle on them or something?”

“Um, I-”

Before she could explain, Sana poked her head back into the room. “Arkady, are you done? Because I don’t think we should be hanging around up here.”

“I’m done,” Arkady said with a nod, pocketing her phone. The two of them joined Sana, Krejjh and Jeeter in the hallway.

“We need a plan to get Violet back downstairs and out of the building without her being seen,” Sana said quickly. “’Kady, do you think you two can make it out in fifteen minutes?”

Arkady huffed. “I can hack the security cams, but I can’t actually make us invisible,” she pointed out. “People are gonna notice us. If we waited until you guys started the set, then we might have a better chance, while everyone’s attention is on the band.”

“Listen – it’s not that I don’t really appreciate the help,” Liu cut in. Her face was set, like she was preparing to go to the gallows. “But none of this needs to be your problem. It’s my mess, and I can get myself out of it. You guys should go and start your set.”

“Oh, pshaw!” said Krejjh. “We’re not just gonna leave you to the bears!”

Jeeter smiled. “To the wolves,” he corrected Krejjh.

“Are y’sure? Because bears can be pretty terrifying.”

“We’re not about to abandon you now,” Sana said to Liu, gently. “Between the five of us, I’m sure we can figure out a pretty good plan.”

“Can’t we just pretend to be loading something into the truck?” Jeeter suggested. “And Violet can help us? We could give her a band jacket – make her look like she’s with us-”

“It’s too bad you don’t play!” Krejjh said to Violet. “We could add you into the set. The ultimate entourage!”

“Uh…” Violet said (at the same time as Arkady said, “Camouflage.”) “I mean, I do play something? But you guys already have a drummer.”

“Wait, you’re a drummer?” Jeeter said delightedly, as Krejjh straightened up so fast that Arkady thought they’d pull a muscle. Even Sana looked interested. “Are you good?”

“Have you ever played with a band before?” added Sana.

Liu smiled and shrugged awkwardly. “Well, drums aren’t really a solo instrument, so yeah. I used to jam with some friends in high school, and played some underground rock concerts in college. I was never really with a band – we just sort of used to form collectives based on who was around and wanted to play. It was fun, though.”

She’d avoided answering the question about how good she was, Arkady noticed, which probably meant she was good and was being modest about it. Goddamn it.

“So if, hypothetically speaking,” Sana said, “you joined a set without having rehearsed any of the music beforehand, would you be able to figure out a drum part?”

“Okay, hold on,” said Arkady, before Violet could respond. “Don’t you think IGR Corp is going to notice that one of their employees has just… joined the band?”

“We’ll swear up and down that it isn’t her,” Jeeter said. “And even if someone figures it out, what are they gonna do about it in front of everyone?”

“But wait, what about you?” Liu asked Jeeter. “Wouldn’t I be putting you out of a role in the band?”

“Nah,” Jeeter said happily. “I brought my keytar!”

“Oh my god,” Arkady groaned. She could tell when she was fighting a losing battle, but it didn’t stop her from making one last, token protest. “This is going to sound really goddamn weird.”

Sana grinned at her. “Well, you wanted to annoy some corporates,” she pointed out. “What better way to do it?”

---

The problem was, the new line-up didn’t sound weird at all.

It sounded good.

Liu, hastily disguised with an old band jacket and a spare pare of Krejjh’s sunglasses, fitted in with their set like she’d been rehearsing with them for weeks – months even. They did a quick sound check, Jeeter looking far too delighted as he amped up his keytar. Sana gave her usual cheerful introduction into the microphone, introducing the band as Renegade, the name they adopted for corporate gigs (Arkady was even more glad of it now, since it would make them harder to track down later). After a lukewarm reception from the assembled employees (none of whom seemed to notice, or care, that the band had grown an extra member), they launched into their first number, a reimagined cover of ‘What Shall We Do with the Drunken Sailor’.

It started off with Sana singing alone, before Krejjh joined in, their voices singing in close harmony, and then Arkady and finally Jeeter, the harmonies becoming increasingly layered as they went. The addition of the keytar made the song sound futuristic, almost the kind of thing you could imagine crews of space explorers singing together as they made their way into the unknown.

Liu picked up the beat easily, and as the song unfolded Arkady suddenly realised she could hear a fifth strand to the harmony, weaving in and out of the other voices, soft but distinctive: Liu was singing.

They moved on from the conventional crowd-pleasing openers to a more eclectic mix of songs, including some punk and anarchist numbers. Each time, Arkady was sure that the choice was going to throw Liu off, but she adapted smoothly to each one, altering her style to fit the vibe of the song. In one of the louder, heavier songs she even threw in an impromptu drum solo that had Krejjh whooping at the keyboard and Sana laughing as she riffed on her guitar.

Sana threw Arkady a look as the song ended, and there was a light in her eyes that Arkady knew far, far too well. It was the same light that Arkady had seen when Sana tracked her down at her latest deadbeat job and persuaded her to quit and start playing music with her; the same light that she’d had when they met Brian and Krejjh a year later and Sana had decided to turn their duo into a band.

Sana wanted Liu to join Rumor. And Arkady couldn’t even think of a good argument against it, apart from the fact that they barely knew anything about the woman other than that she could play the drums. And that she was a corporate, which Arkady thought was important not to lose sight of, even if Liu wasn’t on the greatest terms with her employer any more.

Speaking of which. Arkady was on high alert throughout the whole set, constantly scanning the crowd for signs of trouble, anyone who might be looking too closely at Liu or showed signs of moving towards the elevator. As they’d been setting up, Liu had told them that Seiders was middle management: someone who outranked her, but not someone who held a position of particular influence within the company or had the ear of the CEO. Someone who had ambitions above their station. It didn’t mean no-one would notice them missing, of course; but it meant that they might be someone who, for instance, would go after a rogue employee without notifying their superior, hoping to reap all of the credit.

The band moved into their final number, ‘Landers Never Stand Down’ – one of Sana and Arkady’s early compositions, whose lyrics Sana had written as a tribute to The Landing, and her and Arkady’s shared history. Normally, Arkady would object to wasting it on a corporate audience, but tonight, it felt like the right kind of ‘fuck you’.

“Landers never stand down,

Landers never bow,

Landers never stand down,

We don’t know how…”

They wound up the song in their usual fashion, repeating the chorus and getting fiercer and more defiant with each repetition, before ending in a final blaze of guitar chords.

“Thank you, everyone, you’ve been a wonder to perform for!” Sana said into the microphone as the chords faded away. She said the same thing at the end of every gig, but it had never felt more like a colossal understatement. “We’ve been Renegade, and we hope you have a great night!”

There was a small scattering of applause. Sana beamed out into the audience again, and then turned away from the microphone, sliding the power to ‘off’. “Well, that was-”

“Attention, all IGR Corp employees,” came a voice over the loudspeaker system. Sana froze, and Liu, who’d been leaning over to say something to Krejjh, paled visibly. “Please stay where you are. We will be carrying out a routine attendance check. Please do not exit the building.”

“Attendance check?” Arkady repeated.

“It’s a standard employee procedure,” Liu explained. “To make sure everyone’s… accounted for at corporate functions. Supposedly they’re optional, but it looks really bad if you’re not there and you don’t have a reason.”

“Do we think there’s a chance this is linked to…” Sana gestured towards the elevator. Liu shrugged helplessly.

“It could be, but even if it’s not, they’re gonna discover that Seiders is missing pretty quickly. And that I’m… unaccounted for.”

“Don’t worry,” said Jeeter, reassuringly. “We’ll figure out a way to get you out before that happens.”

“Dashing escapes are our speciality!” Krejjh contributed. This was true; the band hadn’t always played at the most above-the-board venues, and there’d been more than a few times they’d needed to get the hell out of Dodge before things got ugly. Well, uglier.

Sana nodded. “For now, just keep packing down, like nothing’s wrong,” she said.

As Krejjh packed down their keyboard and Jeeter helped Liu to disassemble the drumkit, Arkady said to Sana, “I’ll go with Liu, and we can sneak out a back entrance-”

Sana shook her head. “It’ll be more suspicious if we’re not seen leaving as a group.”

“We’ll just say we’re going to the bathroom,” Arkady said. “We’re allowed to do that, aren’t we?”

Sana started to reply, but then stopped, squinting at something on the other side of the room. Arkady tried to follow her gaze, but couldn’t see what she was looking at. “What is it?”

“I thought I saw…” Sana shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s try the front way first, and if they won’t let us leave, we’ll get creative.”

Unsurprisingly, when they carried the first load of equipment over to the rec room entrance, two stoic-looking IGR employees blocked their path, bouncer-style. Arkady eyed one of them, pretty sure she could take her in a one-to-one fight.

“Sorry, we can’t let you leave while an attendance check is ongoing,” said the employee, with a bland detachment. “Company policy.”

“It should only take about an hour,” the other added. “You can enjoy the free refreshments while you wait.”

An hour? Even if they hadn’t had a very pressing reason to get the hell out of there, Arkady would have been looking for the nearest fire escape to break out of. They were just supposed to cool their heels at IGR headquarters for an hour?

“Can we not at least load our equipment into the van in the meantime?” Sana asked reasonably. “This is a very heavy amplifier…” She made a show of struggling with the amp she’d been lifting with ease a few seconds ago, and Arkady suppressed a snort.

One of the corporates had opened their mouth, looking like they were about to object, when a friendly voice spoke from behind them. “Is there a problem here?”

They all turned to look at the person who’d spoken, and Arkady carefully masked her surprise: the tall, dark-skinned man dressed in an expensive-looking suit jacket, T-shirt and jeans combination was none other than Red Gregor, a close friend of Campbell’s. They’d met him once or twice, but what was he doing here?

“Who are you?” asked Corporate One, audibly unimpressed.

“Theodore Gregor; I’m the band’s executive producer,” Gregor introduced himself smoothly, handing Corporate Two a business card. Their eyes widened at whatever was written on it. “My clients have another engagement to get to tonight, so you can understand why it’s very important they be allowed to leave promptly. Additionally, their contract stipulates that they’re only obliged to perform for your company until-” he made a show of checking a gold watch, “-nine-thirty P.M., after which time we’ll need to bill you for every additional half-hour. Will your supervisors be signing off on the additional expenses?”

Corporates One and Two were visibly thrown by the torrent of information. Krejjh made a noise that was hastily stifled, while Arkady did her best to look bored and important.

“I… no, let me just contact my superior to get you the all-clear,” said Corporate One, reluctantly. “Johnson will help you to load your equipment into your…” She eyed the band’s battered van, visibly out of place in the parking lot full of sleek cars. “…vehicle.”

“Great!” Sana said brightly, handing the amplifier to Corporate Two, who took it and staggered slightly. As Corporate One spoke into a walkie-talkie, Sana and Red Gregor strode quickly ahead, the rest of the band trailing behind. Arkady lengthened her steps to catch up with them so that she could hear their quiet exchange.

“…doing here? Did Campbell send you?” Sana was asking Red Gregor.

“In a manner of speaking,” Red Gregor said. “He talks about you so much, I wanted to come and hear what all the fuss was about. Love the new line-up – you guys sound completely different to when I last heard you play.”

“It’s kind of a new thing,” Sana admitted. “New as of… today. I can fill you in, it’s just a long story.”

“I can’t wait to hear it,” Red Gregor said, and Arkady remembered that she’d liked him, the couple of times that they’d met. She could see why he and Campbell were good friends. “But let’s focus on getting you out of here. I’m guessing you need an exit?”

“And fast,” Sana agreed.

“Well, fast’s your speciality,” Red Gregor said with a grin. Sana smiled back at him, and Arkady wondered if Red was basing this off stories from Campbell, or if he and Sana knew each other better than Arkady had realised. It was a strange thought to have in the middle of everything.

Sana unlocked the van and slid open the back door. While Krejjh, Jeeter and Liu loaded their items into the trunk, overseen by Corporate Two, Red Gregor pretended to help Arkady and Sana with their instruments.

“So what now?” Arkady asked Sana. “I think I can probably take Johnson.”

“Arkady, you’ve already been in one fight today,” Sana said, disapproving.

“What’s your point?”

“I have a more bloodless suggestion,” Red Gregor said. “You’ve got a few pieces of equipment left in the venue, right? I’ll go back inside with Johnson to ‘collect’ them, say we’re going to check their supervisor has given you the go-ahead, and you guys make a break for it. I’ll bring the equipment in my car and meet you at the dive bar, half a mile down the road.”

“Are you sure you’ll be able to get away? What happens when they realise we’re gone?” Sana asked.

“I’ll come up with something,” Red Gregor assured her. “Just focus on getting yourselves out of here.”

He walked over to Johnson, who was slightly bemusedly watching Jeeter and Liu (who were clearly stalling for time) rearrange pieces of the drumkit in the trunk, and took him by the arm, steering him back towards the building and talking rapidly all the while.

“As soon as they’re out of sight, everyone needs to get in the van quickly,” Sana instructed. “And hang onto something. Okay? Now!”

Krejjh slammed the trunk of the van shut and everyone piled into the back without a word of protest. Arkady jumped into the front as Sana slid into the driver’s seat, reversing out of the parking space like a shot and executing an alarming hairpin turn to get them onto the road. Liu cried out in alarm, not used to Sana’s driving, and Arkady hung grimly onto the handle on the inside of her door.

“Everyone okay back there?” Sana asked, peering into the rearview mirror.

Arkady looked back to see Jeeter and Krejjh scrambling to put on their seatbelts, each of them having thrown an arm over Liu to keep her in place. “Oops, sorry, I forgot we don’t have a seatbelt for the middle!” Sana said cheerfully as they thudded over a speedbump. Liu closed her eyes. “There’s normally only four of us.”

“It’s not far to where we’re going, right, Captain?” asked Jeeter.

“Just a half mile down the road,” said Sana. “Red Gregor’s going to meet us there with the rest of the equipment, as soon as he can get away.”

“What was he doing at the gig? Did Campbell tell him where we were?”

“I think so. He said that he wanted to come and hear us play,” Arkady said, watching buildings blur past on either side of them. “I guess it was lucky he did.”

“We would’ve figured something out,” Krejjh said confidently.

“Uh, who’s Campbell?” Liu asked, cautiously opening her eyes again.

“He’s our… manager? Kinda?” Krejjh replied. “He doesn’t tell us what to do or anything, but he has a lot of contacts, so he gets us most of our gigs.”

“Contacts in the music industry? Or contacts in like… events venues, bars and clubs?”

“Yes,” Krejjh said helpfully.

“He just has a lot of contacts,” Jeeter said with a smile. Arkady smirked at Liu’s look of consternation.

“Tonight’s gig did not come through Campbell,” said Sana, spotting the dive bar Red Gregor had specified and indicating to turn off the road. “We got it through an agency, Fowleys. I guess that’ll teach us not to go outside Campbell’s network.”

“Hey, it worked out!” Krejjh said. “We got a new drummer out of the deal.”

“Well, for tonight, at least,” Sana said, now reversing into a parking space. “I gotta say, Violet, the way you fitted in with our sound? That was amazing. Our set sounded better than I could’ve imagined.”

Liu blushed. “They were great songs,” she demurred, as the van came to a stop.

“Too bad it was wasted on IGR Corp,” Arkady remarked, undoing her seat belt as they all climbed out of the van.

They got a table in the corner of the dive bar, which was pretty full and made it easy to blend in. As Sana went to get them all drinks, Krejjh and Jeeter started up some kind of nonsensical word game. Arkady and Liu glanced at each other occasionally, but otherwise sat in awkward silence.

Finally, Arkady asked something that had been on her mind since she intervened in the confrontation between Liu and Seiders, though it had taken a back seat to more pressing concerns. “What was it you were trying to get from that computer, anyway?”

“Sorry?” Liu asked, looking away from Krejjh and Jeeter, where she’d been listening in on the game with a slightly baffled expression.

“In the CEO’s office,” Arkady clarified. “I saw you take a flash drive out of the computer. What were you trying to get?”

“Oh,” Liu said, drawing out the little drive from inside her blouse. “Yeah, I was… trying to copy some files onto it. I’m not sure how much I got, though – I had to pull it out before the transfer was complete, and I think they’re encrypted.”

“What kind of files are they?” Arkady asked, thinking that she could probably break the encryption in an afternoon. Maybe less.

Liu hesitated, and Arkady narrowed her eyes. “You’re not still trying to protect your company, are you? In case you don’t remember-”

“No, no,” Liu said quickly. “I just – I’m not sure if it would be safe to tell you. Safe for you,” she added. “Right now, you have plausible deniability if anyone questions you. You genuinely don’t know what’s on this flash drive. So maybe it would be better to keep it that way.”

Arkady was a little bit pacified by that, but still – “Considering I’ve already aided and abetted you, I think that ship has sailed,” she pointed out. “No-one is going to believe I did it without having any idea what you were up to. Which I’m fine with,” she added, as a guilt-stricken look crossed Liu’s face. “I made a choice to help you, and so did the others. But I may as well know what the stakes are.”

“Yeah, that’s… fair,” admitted Liu. Next to her, Krejjh was doing a fairly poor job of pretending not to listen in. “They’re blueprints. My company – the company – has been developing… do you know what IGR Corp does? What kind of a company it is?”

“Some kind of a tech company?” Arkady said. She vaguely remembered Sana saying something about that when they got the gig. She hadn’t really been paying attention to the details.

Liu nodded. “Smart technology – specifically, smart home technology. We produce – I mean, they produce things like smart security systems, smart doorbells, systems that can detect when someone has a medical emergency. Systems that are designed to help keep people safe.”

Arkady had to work to keep from grimacing. She wasn’t sure that being monitored by a computer 24/7 fitted everyone’s definition of ‘safety’, but maybe Liu had never had cause to doubt that the people with power had her best interests at heart. Lucky her.

“But then,” Liu went on, her voice bitter, “I found out that the latest product we were developing – the one that was supposed to make everyone’s lives so much easier, so much better – is being created as a surveillance device. To eavesdrop on people and send their data back to the company. And I know that a lot of smart devices have audio capabilities, but – this was hardwired in. Impossible to disable. And this weird, secretive new division of the company has been set up to process the data.”

“What are they gonna do with it?” Arkady asked.

“Who knows,” Liu said. “They could be collecting it for the government, but – I think it’s more likely they’re just planning to sell it on to the highest bidder.”

Arkady’s eyes narrowed, and she wished that Sana had brought the drinks already so that she’d have something to down.

“You know,” Liu said, her voice suddenly much softer. “I, uh. I still haven’t thanked you properly for, uh, well-”

“O-kay!” came Sana’s voice, loudly, as she finally arrived at their table carrying a small tray laden with glasses. “Sorry for the delay, guys, there was a heck of a crowd up at the bar. Also, the bartender was really interested in talking to me while he pulled these drinks.” She made a wry expression, her dimple deepening in one cheek. “Cheer up, ‘Kady, I’ve got your favourite-” She slid a pint glass of raspberry ale in front of Arkady.

“Thanks,” Arkady mumbled, not looking at Liu.

Red Gregor arrived not long after, having apparently evaded IGR Corp by pretending that he was going outside to look for the band, and then driving off with the equipment before anyone realised what was happening. Sana passed him a drink from the tray; no-one asked how she already knew his preferred drink order.

“So look,” said Arkady, after they’d done some small talk and toasted to a successful getaway (Sana’s idea, of course). “Not that we didn’t appreciate the save earlier – you had pretty good timing – but why’d you go to all the trouble of coming to an IGR Corp function just to hear us play? How did you even get in?”

“I know a lot of people,” Red Gregor said mysteriously, with a fluid shrug. “As for why I came – you probably don’t know this, but I’ve been getting into the music biz lately.”

Arkady tried to remember what ‘biz’ Red Gregor had been in before, and couldn’t. He was one of those people who seemed to do a bit of everything.

“That’s awesome!” said Krejjh, looking delighted. “Are you going to start a band? Or manage one?”

Red Gregor smiled. “Actually, neither. I’m starting a record label,” he said. “And I want to sign you guys to it.”

Liu choked on her drink; Jeeter said, “Wow, really?” and even Sana looked taken aback. Clearly this hadn’t been the answer she was expecting.

“Us?” she said, as if Gregor could have meant anyone else. “As in…” She gestured around the table, including Liu.

Red Gregor nodded. “Look, your new sound is like nothing I’ve ever heard from a band before,” he said. “Campbell has always spoken highly of you guys, and I really liked your originals the last time I heard you perform. But with this new line-up? I think you could become really big. If that’s something that you want, of course.”

Sana sat back in her chair, looking thoughtful, while Krejjh looked practically ready to vibrate out of theirs with excitement. “That would be a pretty big step for us,” she said. “Not that we wouldn’t love – more exposure, better opportunities-”

“Gigs in legal venues?” put in Jeeter.

“More above-the-board performances,” agreed Sana. “But we’ve only played once with this new line-up. We don’t know for sure if we can replicate that – and I mean, we’d be asking Violet to just drop everything and join us full-time-”

Red Gregor held up his hands. “Like I said, it’s completely up to you,” he said. “I’m not here to pressure you into something you’re not ready for. But don’t underestimate yourselves. I wouldn’t be offering if I didn’t have faith in you guys.”

Sana looked around the table, taking in the mixture of expressions, ranging from Krejjh’s eagerness to Liu’s uncertainty to Arkady’s… Arkady didn’t know what her face was doing. “We’ll have to put it to a vote,” she said, predictably. “And if any of you need more time to think this over-”

“I’m in!” Krejjh said instantly. “We rocked tonight! I want to keep on rocking that hard. And we should totally record an album.”

Jeeter smiled fondly. “I’m on board with anything that will let me keep playing the keytar,” he admitted. “And I thought we sounded pretty awesome, as well.”

Sana looked at Liu. “Violet, you’re the one who this would be the biggest change for,” she said. “The rest of us are already playing in a band full-time. Well, with the odd side gig,” she added, because yeah, they did not yet make enough money from performing to cover the bills. “You barely know us, and you’re not under any obligation to stick around – or to switch careers.”

Liu gave a slightly broken laugh. “Well, I don’t really think I can go back to my old one,” she said. “That option evaporated as soon as one of my colleagues pulled a gun on me. Not… sure I’ve really had time to process that yet.”

Sana nodded. “If it’s too soon-”

“But no amount of processing is going to make my situation any different,” Liu went on. “I could try to get another job in my field, but… IGR Corp is a pretty well-known company. Word’s going to get around that I’m untrustworthy, especially if they put it about that I tried to steal corporate secrets.”

“They can’t do that,” Sana said immediately. “I used to do some union work; whistleblowing is a protected activity, and it’s against the law for them to blacklist you – to make it more difficult for you to obtain future employment.”

Liu smiled slightly. “I don’t think IGR Corp are too concerned with breaking the law,” she pointed out. “I appreciate it, but… this isn’t my first experience with a hostile work environment.”

Okay, so maybe Arkady should take back her earlier thought about Liu never having had cause to distrust the people in power.

“Besides, I haven’t even blown the whistle on them yet – I’m not sure if the information I have is worth anything,” Liu said, a little grimly. “And anyway… I think it’s time for a clean slate. So, if you’ll have me… I’m in.”

Which just left Arkady. She could see how pleased Sana was that Liu was willing to join the band full-time, even though she was trying to hide it. Krejjh and Jeeter, too, were excited – and not just at the prospect of getting better gigs and earning more money (though that was a very appealing prospect).

The fact was, Red Gregor was right – they’d sounded like a completely new band during their performance. Arkady had always liked their stuff (of course she did; she’d even co-written some of it) but the new sound gave it a flair she hadn’t even realised it had been missing. As much as she couldn’t help thinking of the dozens of ways this could go wrong, she wanted them to keep sounding like that. She wanted to see what else they could do.

“‘Kady?” asked Sana.

Arkady took a deep breath. “Sure. Let’s do this.”

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

do you have any spicy hot takes you wanna drop 👀👀?? i will drop one as well, i think that everyone got carried away with the whole sympathetic and unsympathetic stuff -💫

okay so i read the first sentence and i was like ‘fuck yes time to talk about the sympathetic/unsympathetic thing’ and then i read the rest of it and yeah okay so we’re on the same page here. i have a feeling this is going to get extensive so if you don’t want to hear me complaining about stuff that you may or may not like don’t go reading under the cut. Also it's not going to be very coherent

disclaimer: i am not trying to police the fandom or trying to tell anyone that they can’t write stuff. i do my best to stay in my lane and read/consume content that i want to. these are just. feelings i have.

so on the one hand i sort of understand where the whole concept sprung from. it’s hard to write interesting longform stories without a villain of some sort, it’s not as if there’s all that many characters in the first place, and sometimes using the Dragon Witch doesn’t quite cut it. and honestly if you take away the whole ‘they’re all part of the same person’ thing it would’ve been pretty easy to assume that Deceit was the bad guy when he first showed up. he went the whole ‘ominous smirking, evil laughter’ route because he’s a dramatic little bastard, and some people were like 'my son, I love him' and others went 'evil man! Evil! He's planning bad things' and on a purely mechanical level having tags that distinguish people who think a character is good vs people who think a character is evil is a good thing, it helps you distinguish content you want to look at from the content that you don't!

HOWEVER. I think the idea of characters being 'sympathetic' or 'unsympathetic' in the way that this fandom uses those terms is innately flawed. It's black-and-white thinking and it veers close to the whole puritan thing that tumblr is so fond of. And in most cases 'unsympathetic' is just an excuse to write characters as toxic, abusive, and just downright cruel without having to explain yourself. Which is. Hm. And also just lazy writing.

This bit might be tmi but: Patton actually used to be my favorite Sanders Sides character. But back when i initially got into the fandom, I hadn't quite worked out how to filter the content I looked through yet, and I just kept seeing this... constant stream of stuff involving him being abusive to the others in a way that was hm how shall i say this. Uncomfortably familiar. especially with a lot of religious guilt themes. It's not anyone's fault, precisely, but it did tinge a lot of my fandom experience, and it maaaay be why i'm not great at writing him. Doesn't matter. The point is... There wasn't a point. I'm just still bitter about that and wanted to mention it. Maybe i'm angrier about this than i thought i was. Let's not talk about that. Let's move on with this discussion.

You'll notice that i used Janus as an example up there at the top. I can't be sure (and actually it grimly fascinates me so if anybody who's been around here longer than I have has any info on this send it over, I'd love to know) but I think that Deceit's appearance in CLBG may have marked the beginning of this whole unsympathetic/sympathetic split in the fandom. It seems a safe enough bet, anyway, especially since the earliest example I can find of any fic being tagged 'unsympathetic' in the AO3 archive is from 4th February 2018, literally the day after CLBG went up. (damn, guys, moving fast). 

The first occurrences of the 'sympathetic' tag crop up about a month later. Tumblr is impossible to search so I don't know if there was any discussion about terms, or if it was just a kind of snowball effect with people seeing the tags and tagging their own fics as appropriate (and this is a fascinating phenomena in itself!) but either way - i have absolutely no idea what happened to make people go from 'we're divided on whether this character who presents himself a villain is actually doing bad and detrimental things to the other sides/thomas/the world as a whole/innocent puppies' to 'hang on what if the other sides were kicking puppies also?'

So now this has turned from a rant about terminology into me being genuinely curious about this whole thing. I will put the rant on pause while I go scour AO3 to see when the first occurrences of the tags popped up. Please hold.

Okay. I'm going to ignore the unsympathetic tags for anyone who's not a side because i don't hate myself nearly that much (but uh for the record. There is a part of this fandom that thinks the LITERAL CONCEPT OF SLEEP IS EVIL and i'm not sure if i should be impressed or horrified. What? What???)

All of these numbers are up-to-date as of 17/06/2020, which is when I'm posting this. I'm probably not going to update that, so keep that in mind if you're reading this in the future.

In order of chronological appearance:

Unsympathetic Janus ('Deceit' at the time, of course) - first appears 12 March 2018, 191 works Unsympathetic Roman - first appears 10 February 2019, 102 works Unsympathetic Logan - first appears 24 June 2019, 59 works Unsympathetic Patton - first appears 2 July 2019, 228 works Unsympathetic Remus - first appears 17 July, 2019, 121 works Unsympathetic Virgil - first appears 31 July 2019, 71 works

...I genuinely don't know what I expected.

The fandom was much slower to spark with Unsympathetic Remus content after he first showed up, which is kind of interesting. Unless they just didn't bother to tag it? Like, I'm working with the assumption that everyone's tagging all of their content, which might not always be the case

I thought there'd be so much more Janus and Remus-tagged fics than there actually are.

It does not surprise me that Patton has the most in this category. It makes me sad but it doesn't surprise me. Why are you guys so intent on making him evil

And on the opposite side of the sympathy spectrum (similarly chronological):

Sympathetic Janus - first appears 7 March 2018, 1920 works Sympathetic Remus - first appears 2 July 2019, 965 works Sympathetic Patton - first appears 31 July 2019, 71 works Sympathetic Virgil - first appears 1 August 2019, 69 works (nice) Sympathetic Logan - first appears 8 August 2019, 41 works Sympathetic Roman - first appears 20 August, 56 works

It's actually wild that 'Sympathetic [Janus]' seems to have appeared several days between Unsympathetic Jan made any appearance.

There were several Remus fics that were backtagged to before DWIT was released. I ignored them because it was throwing this off a bit. there may be other problems to this effect in any of the other stats, but i’m too lazy to go back and check those all one-by-one

Sympathetic tags in general seem to be used as, hm, there's a word here i can't quite think of. Basically, 'Sympathetic' seems to be the default setting for characters like Virgil, Patton, Roman, Logan (the 'Light Sides', although i take issue with that terms as well. This isn't the time for that, though. Statistics!!) which 'Unsympathetic' used to be the default for Janus and Remus. That's become slightly more elastic of late, though. Basically if you're using the Sympathetic tag for anyone who's not a 'Dark Side' you're usually doing it to make a point of something. e.g. if you have other sides who aren't usually unsympathetic as such and you're trying to clarify that yes, these specific ones are Okay. Or if you're just being thorough. Anyway that's why LAMP seem to have less works tagged as Symp than the other two.

All the sympathetic tags for non-Janus characters seem to have sprung up in quick succession over a short period of months! I have no idea what this means but it's strange and cool to look at

If you're wondering about the discrepancy between this information and my earlier note that the first appearance of 'unsympathetic' as an AO3 tag was the day after CLBG came out - that fic in question had a general 'unsympathetic dark sides' tag, no specific tags mentioned.

Okay statistics segue over. The only point of that apart from scientific curiosity was to try to puzzle out where the fuck this all stemmed from. I still have no answers.

I need you all to understand that 'Sympathetic' no longer looks like a real word to me.

So. Remember how i mentioned how this fandom managed to make unsympathetic!Remy/Sleep a thing? Yeah. That baffles me. I haven't seen unsympathetic Dr Picani anywhere yet but I know it's only a matter of time and that lowkey horrifies me. But that's not really the most baffling thing because, uh

Well. earlier this week I accidentally stumbled into a corner of tumblr that's dedicated to unsympathetic character Thomas content. If you're a fan of that, i'd advise you to click away from this post now because i'm about to get very angry about that and i don't want to make you upset. Thank you.

What the fuck. literally all of the posts in this corner of tumblr are about c!thomas abusing the sides and being a terrible person??? ??????? ????? WHAT? can we just take a step back and. WHY? WHY are you doing this? Are we watching the same show? from a psychological standpoint, that's self-abuse and self-harm and i suppose it might be interesting if you explored it as such but APPARENTLY NO. apparently that's not what this is about. This is just about writing about someone being abusive to other people for the sake of it. there were so many posts about him 'abusing the sides by telling them they're not real people' and. OKAY so a) he wouldn't do that b) THEY AREN'T. THEY LITERALLY AREN'T REAL PEOPLE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

[deep breath]

so actually i think that kind of leads me back to the point of this whole thing.  I had a point, what? It surprises me too, don't worry. The point is (roughly) that writing characters as 'unsympathetic' isn't something that i have an objection to at all. Everybody has the capacity to be cruel! Nobody's perfect!! But with the sympathetic/un labels it seems to enforce this strict dichotomy of good vs bad. Either Logan is an abusive monster OR he's a perfect angel. Guys. That's not how it works. And it's not INTERESTING if you do that sort of thing because then you've got people being unnecessarily cruel and evil for the sake of it. They turn into 2-dimensional caricatures that only exist to be bad people. 

People make mistakes! I write about characters making mistakes all the time! Janus and Remus pulling the whole trolley problem thing in Pick A Side definitely wasn't a great thing for them to do, but I didn't tag them as unsympathetic at the time and i have no plan to do so because i don't want to write them as two-dimensional caricatures who are only capable of one of two settings on the morality meter.  (same goes for the next chapter, whenever that comes up but... let’s talk about that when i post it, maybe)That's boring. If you're going to take characters and make them into antagonists just because you can't think of anyone else to fit the role, and you're doing it by stripping away everything that makes them Them, then you might as well just stuff a paper bag with straw and cast a scarecrow as the villain instead because buddy. You're making a strawman. That's what you're doing. You can't have Patton without kindness and well-meaningness, just as you can't have Patton without the mistakes caused by those two things. Same goes for the other sides and their flaws and strengths.

And then there's the other thing that's definitely more specific to this fandom, which I think was best summarized with something i said in the comments section of Pick A Side with len at like ten minutes past midnight that one time:

(...) and not necessarily related to anything you said, but - this fandom is kind of unique in that... there's no actual bad guys or villains. (at least that's how i perceive it.) The Real Villain Is Your Poor Mental Health. people are always like 'unsympathetic deceit' or 'unsympathetic patton' and point to different points in the videos as evidence, ('i give you permission to think those thoughts' patton's being controlling - that's abuse) but like. it's all the same guy. he's giving himself permission. he's doing it to himself. imagine if we tagged other fandom characters with like 'Unsympathetic Harry Potter' when he was being mean or critical to himself. wild.

 So yeah. In conclusion: obviously people should write what they like. If they see characters one way and they want to write about them being two-dimensional monsters that's fine. I kind of wish you'd put more thought into it and make it at least interesting if you're going to do that sort of thing, but you do you i guess.

That being said. If I see any more unsympathetic!Patton content I will start crying. i want to love Goofy Dad Man the same way i used to 

[panharmonium]

some disjointed thoughts about stranger things 2 under the cut (concealed to hide spoilers from my sister)

so, season 2!

i’ve gone into every season of this show knowing absolutely nothing about it.  i’ve had no exposure to the fandom or to reviews or anything that would indicate what it was about or how good the seasons are in relation to each other, which i like, because i know my opinions are my own.  season 1 i watched back in the winter, i think, and it was amazing.  blew me away. 

i just finished season 2 and i’m like...not as into it?

and i’m glad i had no preexposure to anything, because if i had, i’d worry that i was just being influenced by other people’s opinions, but i genuinely don’t know what people think of the various seasons.  i’ve been stringently avoiding anything about this show, have it blocked on tumblr, etc, so i could watch it cold.

i’d have to watch it again to really pin down the places where my investment was flagging, and i’ll probably do that eventually, because i know my roommate will want to see it, but my general impression was this: they had me hooked in the beginning, and then they started to lose me.

- i feel like overall it was 9 episodes where very little substance actually happened.  plotlines were stretched out over a reallllllly long period of time and became paper-thin.  like nancy and jonathan?  the only thing they really did over those entire nine episodes was make a tape recording and send it to the paper.  that was their whole story, and it could have fit in one episode.

- and what did happen felt like it suffered from a lack of focus.  can i explain this in more detail without watching the show again?  not really.  but i just mean that in S1, i could tell you what each of the main character’s arcs were, and i could lay out how those arcs had clear beginnings, middles, and endings.  in S2, i can really only do that for El (and even that i feel like got messy by the last third).  

- the horror vibe was different this season.  it was LESS scary, to me.�� S1 was a CREEP factor that had my skin crawling - it wasn’t like...creature horror - it was the unsettlingness.  the whole parallel world thing was so - well, the only word for it is unsettling, like.  you felt like you could take a step and accidentally wind up somewhere no one should be - the idea that you can be trapped so close to somebody and yet so far away - you just felt like the world was inside out (or upside down, if you will).  and so much of the fear in the first one came from how incomprehensible and uncertain the entire situation was - you didn’t know how things worked and nobody believed you when you tried to tell them what was happening.  that scene where the christmas lights spell out R-U-N?  scariest fucking thing i’ve ever seen.  but S2 changed it to be like...it felt like more of a monster flick.  like a zombie movie or something - lots of creatures running around that you can just shoot with a gun - that’s just not really the same vibe as the first season, and i didn’t find it quite as interesting.

- i don’t want to be That Person, because i liked maxine as a character in general, on her own terms, but from a writing perspective - what even was the purpose of her introduction?  her and her brother both, honestly, the whole family.  i feel almost bad for saying that, because i can guarantee that there were people out there complaining about her being introduced because “they just wanted to have another girl; it’s so stupid, blah blah,” cue more sexist stuff, etc, and that’s really not where i’m coming from, but for me, from a general storytelling perspective, i don’t understand why she or her family were introduced.  they were superfluous to the story.  they didn’t need to be there.  and since i don’t even feel like the returning characters got enough development this season (see point #2), i don’t understand why we spent so much time on her/her family/her introduction to the Party.  it felt like filler.

- stranger things S2 did that thing teen wolf does where 2/3 of the way through the season it drops a tonally-different expository/flashback episode that does a lot of the legwork tying other shit together while also being completely disconnected from the rest of the plot, which is basically an info dump and is my least favorite way of relaying plot/getting characters to the spot the writer wants them to go.  i think kali was the most interesting new character we met this season; i was rapt every time she was onscreen, but i don’t love the “we’re going to shove all of the character development and background info into this one episode and at the end El has had her turnaround and goes back home.”  it didn’t feel believable to me.  are we ever going to see those people again, or were they just a plot convenience to serve the aforementioned purpose?  (idk, i haven’t watched S3 yet, so...we’ll see.)

- some weird...minor tonal changes/dropped plots?  in S1 one of the running undercurrents was how mike and nancy’s mom wanted them to talk to her and she really did care about what was going on but they couldn’t connect to her and that bothered her, whereas in S2 it’s like - that theme has been dropped; she’s not involved in their lives really at all, and her and ted’s spousal relationship is just being played for laughs, and there was that REALLY weird scene with her like...lusting after billy??????  that was so fucking bizarre.  

and until one line in the very last episode, they dropped the whole thing about hopper’s daughter, too - the way they wove that into the first season was brilliantly done, and just - you don’t see a bit of it in S2, and that felt off, to me.

- killing bob was a bad call.  it was gratuitous, AND it was contrived - who the hell is running for their life and then just stops dead in the lobby to smile at their girlfriend?  ANY SENSIBLE PERSON WOULD KEEP RUNNING FOR THE DOOR.  like - bob died, but the doctor survived????????  the doctor, who was attacked and immobilized and defenseless in a stairwell, somehow wasn’t killed??????  of course not, because he needed to survive, so he could get El her papers later....that entire thing irritated me.  it made no sense.  that was actually the point where i said to myself “uh-oh.  first Bad-with-a-capital-B decision this show’s made.”  

- lack of consistency in terms of how, exactly, Stuff Works.  in S1 it was like - the Upside Down is everywhere.  the demigorgon could come through anywhere, if you were unlucky.  that was part of what made it so creepy - there’s this whole other world and it is RIGHT THERE with you, and sometimes the fabric separating the two universes gets scary thin, and bam, you’re somewhere no human has any business being.  whereas in S2 it’s like - ok, things are coming through this one portal and spreading through tunnels underground, in our own dimension???  like at first i thought hopper had actually entered the Upside Down in the tunnels, but then it seemed like the tunnels were still on our plane, just gross-looking.  so why in S1 could the demigorgon come through the ceiling of will’s house, or through that tree in the woods, or take barbara through the pool?  why did the lab people think burning that little gate would help, when the first monster from last season was obviously popping into our dimension from all sorts of other places?  

- this is a minor quibble, but it was driving me up the WALL in the last couple of episodes - what in god’s name were they injecting will with???  and HOW.  mike just grabs that syringe off the counter like “we need to make will go to sleep” - there is NO reason that anyone in the room would know what was in the syringe or what the correct dosage was or HOW TO GIVE AN INJECTION IN THE FIRST PLACE.  joyce gives it???????  by stabbing straight down????????  into will’s arm????????????  what the hell kind of injection technique is that?!?!?!  that’s not....how that works.  ever.  and maxine does it to billy too, in his NECK - just straight in there.  there is no....look, people in human medicine can weigh in better than me here; maybe things are different, but just from the veterinary perspective, you can’t just stab a creature any old place you want, and giving something via any route that isn’t intravenous isn’t going to drop an animal immediately, AND you do not have control over how long they’re going to be out.  if you give a sedative, you can’t just wake an animal up by wafting ammonia under their nose.  AND the animal is likely not going to be actually asleep until you also give an anaesthetic induction agent, and if you do give an anaesthetic induction agent, you’d better have some monitoring equipment and a breathing apparatus hooked up to your patient!

look, it just - the “go to sleep” injection was used to solve too many critical situations for me to just ignore it.  it bothered me.

anyhow.  overall, i didn’t hate it.  but i thought it was way less cohesive than the first season, and therefore way less effective.  i’m still curious to see what happens in S3, but my expectations are lower now. 

[if you wanna talk to me about this, you have my permission, but ONLY if you’re able to do it without talking about S3 in any capacity, including your own personal evaluation of how good/bad it is in relation to the other seasons.  i like to watch without knowing other people’s opinions of things, otherwise i feel like my viewing experience is colored by what i hear.  thanks! :) ]

[jj-lynn21]

You will remember things that we never said ch 3

Warning: flirting, fluff?, angst, jealousy

 Dolly Trauma Songs: Fade into you (cover)   Alastis: , Sky May Fahl , Stitch  

ch 1, ch 2   ch 4  ch 5  ch 6  ch 7

Stephanie is in the art building after another class. She sees Axel in passing. She smiles. He nods stopping.

“Zeigeist is playing Thursday and Saturday night, you coming?” Axel asks.

Stephanie shrugs, “Most, probably.” She thinks, who in the hell says most, probably.

“Well, I hope so.” He darts into the bathroom.

Stephanie is flying high emotionally as she steps outside to the sunshiny crisp day. Her sunglasses come out of her hoodie pocket to cover her sensative eyes. Her legs feel weak the more she thinks about Axel hoping to see her. Of course, she does realize it is another five dollars at the door and that is how his band gets paid. But maybe its just a little more.

That evening she catches Bella as soon as she come in from class, “Hey, you want to go see Zeigeist Thursday and Saturday.”

“Since Dark Breed is also playing those shows, I’m in.” Bella stated drably not nearly as excited as Stephanie.

Stephanie is unfocused as she tries to read her history lesson. Axel had her core aching like she had never known without even touching her today. Barely talking to her really. She decided to work on his portrait. Her tongue stuck out the corner of her lips as she focused to get his eyes just right. She worked on it a few hours. She was lost in thought sitting on her bed trying to per-fect his look, which she knew was impossible really, when Bella knocked on her bedroom door.

“You going to your afternoon class today?” Bella had her arms crossed across her chest and legs crossed at the ankles as she leaned against the door jam. “I didn’t think you ever skipped.”

Stephanie looked up at her, glanced at her cellphone, “Oh fuck. I’m going to be late.” She tossed the picture aside. “Thanks Bella.”

“Watch getting so wrapped up in um,” Bella glances at the drawing. “Your studies.”

“Sure thing,” Stephanie runs out the door to class after grabbing her bag.

Stephanie made it to class a second before the professor walks in and started his discussion about sculptures in ancient Greece. She rushes to the closest seat in the back of the room sitting and grabbing a notebook to start taking notes.

Since she is in the back Axel sees her writing madly to catch up. He stops to take in how she looks in such a flustered state. Then he moves on just as she looks up to see him go past. She tries to shake off the thoughts in her mind so she can try to concentrate on taking notes.

After class Stephanie heads to the student union to grab coffee and dinner. As she walks in one door, Axel is walking out the other side. They don’t notice each other. She walks out the same door he did and heads to her next class eating and drinking in route. 

She has two more classes before going back to her and Bella’s dorm for the evening. Stephanie and Axel pass each other many more times through the rest of the week without even realizing it most of the time. Or one sees the other without both parties seeing each other. Its fates cosmic joke perhaps.

Thursday rolls around. Stephanie finds herself to excited to really study. But she does finish Axel’s portrait for Monday. At eight-thirty that evening her and Bella walk to Hide & Seek for the show. Todd is taking money at the door. He waves her in at no change.

Todd whispers, “Just don’t tell anyone.”

Stephanie nods. She thinks, there goes the theory Axel wanted me here just for another five dollars through the door. She hears Drake, the drummer for Zeitgeist, warming up as her and Bella grab beers at the bar. She drags Bella to the front of the stage with her. Todd and Tyson join Drake warming up. Stephanie’s heart beats faster waiting for Axel to appear. Zeitgeist starts the music for their first song of the evening, Alastis. The Mosh pit circles each other. Bella and others watch the pit guarding Stephanie from becoming part of that scene as her big blue doe eyes fixate on Axel as he comes out and grabs the Mic. This is one of the band’s heaver songs.

“Now I got the time to watch you run(watch you), I can’t see what’s made you afraid, see I have my cynical side, save my fingers up, make you shake, go on, go on…COWARD!..” 

The pit goes nuts. Stephanie screams along with others.

Axel continues, “ Now I got the time to think for us, sacrificing all the control, you do nothing passionately (As I like), such endorphins I need in soul, What I write, I say, what I write…I keep true, I keep it real, it real, What I write, I say…” He leans down with the Mic looking right at Stephanie. “Still I wanna go down and take you there.” He stands looking back out to the audience while the band rips into the songs heavy sounds as Stephanie’s core tightens and lets loose juices dampening her panties. “Got time to fuck me, but you got no time to fuck me. I can’t believe the faces that you think you fake. Why go out tonight, why stay home…I stay home.”

“I’m going to slow things down,” Axel said to the crowd. “You guys and I see a few chicks involved to, are fucking monsters in the pit. We don’t perform to many covers, but we’ve fucked around with this one over the week. It’s called Fade into You  . He turns his back to the crowd of screaming fans, mumbles into the mic, “for Stephanie.”  

Stephanie’s eyes widen. Bella shakes her head like this is the worst idea Axel ever had.

 Axel starts singing with his back to the crowd. “I want to hold the hand inside you, I want to take a breath that's true, I look to you and I see nothing, I look to you to see the truth, You live your life, you go in shadows, You'll come apart and you'll go black, Some kind of night into your darkness, Colors your eyes with what's not there” 

Stephanie’s eyes are closed as she rocks back and forth singing along. Axel turns around, “Fade into you, Strange you never knew, Fade into you, I think it's strange you never knew, A stranger's light comes on slowly, A stranger's heart without a home, You put your hands into your head, And then smiles cover your heart…”

 Axel kneels in front of Stephanie. “Fade into you, Strange you never knew…” She opens her eyes seeing him there with his eyes closed singing. She closes her eyes again just feeling the moment through her entire body, “Fade into you, I think it's strange you never knew…”

He stands to finish the song. After Axel finishes, he disappears off the side of the stage. Stephanie wants to go check on him but there is no way for her to get through the sea of people. Todd puts his guitar and amp to the side off stage as Dark Breed setup for their set.

He grabs a few beers before making his way to Stephanie, “Hey, Steph.” She turns around to him. He hands her a beer. “Axel wanted to stay to hangout after the show, but he wasn’t feeling well so took off already. He wasn’t feeling well all day but didn’t want to disappoint you, so we still played.”

“Oh, it’s cool,” Stephanie acted like it didn’t faze her. “Is he going to be ok?”

“Yeah, he’ll be fine to sing Saturday.” Todd informed her. “Oh, let me get your number so Axel can message you the address for the club we’re playing Saturday. It’s a dive bar in the middle of nowhere called Cigs.”

Todd takes a piece of paper and pen from his pocket. Stephanie writes her info on it.

“Take care of him tonight Todd,” She was concerned.

Todd chuckled, “Will do. You are to sweet for this scene. Be careful. That pits about to get ignited.”

Bella walks up between Stephanie and Todd. “Axel already ditch her?”

Todd ignored Bella’s comment. “I’ll catch you later Steph.”

“See you guys Saturday night,” Stephanie decided to ignore Bella’s comment also.

Ryan came over as the heavy metal sound of Dark Breed started to thunder. “Hey, girls. Can I get you a few more beers?”

Stephanie finished the one she had, “Sure Ryan, thanks.”

Bella nodded she wanted one or more also. She held up five fingers.

Somehow, he got through the crowd and back with a buck of beers. The three of them sucked them down as they jumped around to the pounding music. Stephanie and Bella were laughing as they held each other. Several big guys stood between them and the frantic chaos going on in the pit. At some point, Stephanie wasn’t sure how or why, she was holding Ryan’s shirt as he flung around into others in the pit.

The three of them walked back to the dorms together. Stephanie and Bella hanging on each other. Ryan’s hands in his pockets on the opposite side of Stephanie as Bella. He was watching her laugh and smiling. 

“Did you see when Axel was actually in my face singing to me?” Stephanie’s body was on fire just thinking about it. Her eyes glossed over with intoxication.

“He should have never done that. “Bella spat on the ground disgusted how easily Stephanie was buying what Axel was selling.

“Well, he did so there is nothing you can do about it now.” Stephanie laughed.

Ryan looked away not wanting to hear yet another girl he liked fawn over Axel. He parted company with the girls as soon as he walked them safely to their dorm building. “I’ll catch you later.”

They both giggled, “Catch you later Ryan.”

Soon after they got in their bedroom, they crashed out cold. The sunlight streaming through Stephanie’s open curtain mid-afternoon hit her like sledgehammer. She cried out while pulling her hot pink comforter over her pounding head. She hears Bella stumbling around outside her door.

 Stephanie can’t remember the last time she had a hangover this bad. She jumped up as her stomach lurched. The room was spinning. She held the wall as she got to the restroom to puke as quickly as she could. She almost didn’t make it. Bella came in with ginger ale and aspirin. She held Stephanie’s hair back.

When she got Stephanie tucked back in bed she turned to leave, “I’ll bring you a bagel.”

“And coffee,” Stephanie mumble. “Strong, sweet, coffee.”

Bella laughed, “Alright Steph.”

“I need to study,” Stephanie grumbled her eyes barely open.

“Rest one more hour,” Bella left.

Stephanie might have dozed back off for a half hour when her cellphone buzzed with a message. She looked at it and sat right up.

      Axel:

      What’s up Stephanie. Its Axel.

      Stephanie:

      Hey, Axel. How are you feeling today? Todd said you left sick last night.

      Axel:

       I’m fine. Ate something yesterday that didn’t agree with me.

      Stephanie:

       Glad you’re feeling better

       Axel:

      Thanks, have to get back to work but here is the address for Saturday.

        1521 North outreach

        Stephanie:

        Thanks  

        Axel: ttyl

Stephanie gets up slowly. She grabs her rob to take  in to  put on after she gets a shower. Her head isn’t throbbing as much. Her stomach is only a little upset. After her hot shower washes what is left on her from last night, she drinks a few sips of a ginger ale. She opens one of her books to start studying.

Bella comes back with a bagel and coffee for Stephanie. “How you doing, babe?” She puts the coffee and bagel by Stephanie.

“I’m ok now, “She takes a nibble of the bagel and a gulp of coffee. “This should help wake me up more to study.”

“Good, I should study a little to.” Bella grabbed a book from her bag. “There is a horror movie starting tonight. We are going with Albre and Ryan, cool?”

“Yeah, sure.” She flips the full page of notes to the next empty page.

The evening rolls around and they walk to the local theater. Everyone is chatting along the way. Ryan is do his best to keep Stephanie laughing. After they grab some snacks Stephanie turns around and sees Axel a few steps away.

“Hi Axel,” She smiles at him.

He gives her no emotion in return which she senses is his normal response in most situations. Its one of the reasons she is fascinated with him. She can’t read him at all. Usually she reads people pretty well. “I’m here with Albre, Bella and Ryan.”

He just nods. Ryan offers his hand to shake. Axel almost breaks it as he stares him down. He turns away and goes in the theater with the guys he is there with. Ryan makes her laugh during an intense part of the movie. Axel glances at them seeing Ryan put his arm around her and Ryan’s hand sliding up her leg. He looks away fuming.

Stephanie drives Bella, Albre and Ryan to this show. The bar is at the end of a dark street. Only a field for parking around it. They are running a little late. Stephanie pulls everyone with her to the front where her eyes attack Axel. He focuses on everyone else in the audience as he starts performing even though he did see her out of the corner of his eye with Ryan, Albre and Bella around her.

“This is Sky May Fahl “ Axel screams. The crowd hoots and hollers. “God gave you legs, you got to find your way out, don’t call my name, I couldn’t care less, got to find your way out, This doesn’t fit your phony needs, got to find your way out, Another drink for everything, got to find your way out,NOW REALIZE I CARE, We could never be honest, we could never be have, like some father’s illusion, we don’t have to pretend. God gave you friends, some walked away, got to find your way out, Don’t call my name I couldn’t care less, got to find your way out. Suck up to them, suck up to me, got to find your way out, another drink for everything, got to find your way out. NOW REALIZE I CARE…We’ve come a long long way child, don’t want to miss you now…You went to Hell, you took it well, got to find your way out…don’t dissipate, don’t look to fade, got to find your way out, this boring day, this belly ache, got to find your way out, The sunrise remind you all of which way the sky will Fall…And I don’t care what you are…”

Axel throws the mic down making a loud distortion as he bolts off stage through the back.

Stephanie pushes her way through the crowd. She goes out the side door around the back of the building. Axel is banging his head against the wall not hard enough to bust his head open but hard enough to cause himself pain.

“What the Hell was that Axel,” Stephanie screamed her ears still ringing from the loud music. “Are you alright?”

“Get the fuck back inside Steph,” He stopped banging his head but stared at the wall. “You don’t really fucking care anyway.”

“What do you mean I don’t fucking care?” She didn’t have any idea why he was so angry.

“You can whore around with anyone you want,” He turned spitting the words at her. “But I don’t take sloppy seconds. I don’t share like that. So, go back in there with Ryan. I know you came with him.”

“What the fuck Axel?” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “First I don’t know where you get off thinking I fucked Ryan and…”

“He had his hands all over you at the movies,” Axel glared at her. “He was making you laugh, and he was groping you and you fucking let him, you bitch.”

“Hold the fuck up Axel. I know what you thought you saw. Why the fuck were you watching anyway and stopped watching right before I grabbed his hand off my thigh and went to sit on the other side of my friends. And my second thing is I don’t want him; I want you, you asshole.” She leans against the wall, “You’re such a fucking dick.”

Axel leans his body onto hers against the wall as he takes her face in his hands making her look up at him. “You didn’t want him to touch you?”

Tears stream down her face, “No, I just want you to touch me.” Her lip quivers.

“I’m a fucking dick,” He leans down closer. “I’m sorry Stephanie, I’m such a jealous fucking dick.”

He kisses her deeply. Her hands ride along his waist.

“Hey, Axel,” Mick screams from the back entrance. “You going to finish your set or are we switching out?”

Axel rest his forehead on Stephanie’s both their eyes closed. “Go get in your spot babe. I need to do one more song for the masses. I’ll come get you when we are done.” He wipes her tears away before heading back inside, “I’m coming, startup Stitch. I got some shit to get out of my system.”

Stephanie composes herself the best she can before going inside.

Bella is waiting at the door. She notices Stephanie’s puffy red eye, “Are you alright baby girl?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She attempts a smile but doesn’t quite have a complete one in her yet. “Let’s go up front where I’m suppose to be for Axel.” She gets right where he can see her. He nods his approval before ripping into the song.

After, they sit on a sofa in the back corner.  Stephanie lays on Axel’s shoulder. Most that go by nod a hello. Axel drinks a beer as he runs his hand through Stephanie’s wavy hair. 

“Your such a pretty girl Stephanie,” He’s starting to slur his words a little. 

“Thanks Axel,” She knows he was the one that said that first when others were calling her pretty. 

Todd comes over and sits by Axel. “Everyone good back here?”

“Yeah, Man, we’re cool now.” He leans over and kisses Stephanie softly.

“You driving him home Todd,” She was concerned since Axel seemed to drunk to drive.

“Yeah, I got him Steph.” He took Axel’s beer. “Hey bud let’s take off. We both have normal jobs in the morning.”

Everyone filtered out of the club. Stephanie was the only one awake as she drove Bella, Albre and Ryan home.

[bdo-kenai-kanu]

Finding Macky: The Lost Necklace, Part 3

A more serious look overcame Deoku's face once Olive had closed the door completely.   Once he and his apprentice were out of vocal range of her home he explained the next step. "Ok Kenai, we're heading to the bar to inform Tabitha of what's about to happen.  After that, I think it's time to make a few thugs pay for their years of harassment and attacks on citizens of this town.", he walked briskly back toward the tavern. "And you'll finally get to see something I never got to show you before. Hope you're ready buddy.", the older man smiled to his young friend.

Kenai trailed his mentor through the dark streets, the only sources of light the lamps lining the cobblestone roads. It seemed not a soul was out at this hour, which was certainly far later than Kenai thought they would be out and with autumn in full swing, the lights were cold and crisp, enabling the young Striker to see his breath in wispy white puffs. He kept up with the older man as they made a quick march back towards one of the taverns in the area, hoping to run into Tabitha and her gruff companion if they hadn't turned in for the night already.

They swiftly made their way to the tavern; upon reaching the door Deoku shoved it open with more force than intended.  His eyes darted around to bars patrons as he entered; scanning for Tabitha.   A few drinkers became quiet as the two burst in; weary that the strikers were there to cause trouble, but soon went back to their drink and conversation when no declarations were made. The tall striker did not see her anywhere near the front or over at the bar and walked through slowly before hearing a ruckus in one of the back corners.  Everyone in the room was seemingly having a great time, drinks were flowing, laughs were had, and songs being sung.  There was no fighting so far this night.  As he got closer he could hear a female voice among them, also noticing the unforgetting appearance of her gruff partner Boris and a few other guards at the table.  

Once close enough he caught glimpse of her and strolled over.  He approached the guard's table; appearing from an angle where she could see them directly approaching to assure they could get her attention among the crowd.  "Excuse me, Tabitha, I need a word with you about a problem you and guards have been having.  Me and friend plan to solve it tonight for you if you'll be here in the bar long enough." Deoku spoke up over the other men silencing a few of them; a serious expression on his face; unusual for the normally relaxed striker.

Borus seemed too far gone by the time Kenai and Deoku drew close enough to be heard over the din in the tavern, the burly man slurring his words as he rambled off a verse in some dirty-humored tavern ditty, ale sloshing out of his tankard as he swayed unsteadily in his chair, making a ruckus with several others at the table. However, Kenai noted their presence wasn't entirely ignored as Tabitha poked her head around the blusterous group, her own beer in hand, her helmet set aside. "Well! Didn't think I'd see you two again tonight!" She rose from her seat and approached them, giving the overcrowded table a wide berth to avoid being jostled.

"Hit a dead end with your necklace, boys?" she implored with a friendly grin. It was with a measure of relief that Kenai took note she was still relatively sober. He hated dealing with drunk people.

Though Deoku was not in his usual mood he smiled at Tabitha as she approached. "No, thankfully we were able to get the necklace back to its owner.", he replied to the female guard.  "Actually, we came here for a different reason.  Are you going to be here for another hour? " he questioned to Tabitha who was enjoying her drink but was still sober so far. "I hear you've had a problem over in the slums that's been lingering a few years too long and my partner and I plan to bring you an early holiday gift." the striker gave her a telling grin.

The guard's woman lifted a brow, pausing to look between Kenai and Deoku each in turn, "Color me curious. You wouldn't be talking about Macky... would you?" A seriousness crossed her features then as she hastily glanced around before herding Kenai and Deoku aside and into a vacant booth, leaning in close to the pair, "Now listen, you two best be careful, you hear? Macky isn't someone to play with. They call him 'Monster Mack" on the streets, he's known for some pretty nasty shit so if you are serious about your intent... well, watch what you say and who you say it to. Macky has eyes and ears everywhere, its how he’s eluded us for so long...."

"Eluded you say? You'd think someone with such control over that area wouldn't feel the need to hide.", Deoku thought for a moment. "Fine, the cautious route it is then. Anything you can tell us to help find our target a bit faster?" the older striker asked knowing that she doesn't have an exact location but may have some info gathered from over the years.  

"Don't worry. I have no plans of playing around.  Believe it or not, before the kid here came along I've been dealing with situations like this one and even worse.", Deoku thought back to his situation in that town a few years back for a moment. "Yeah, definitely worse, but regardless something has to be done here."

Tabitha blew a sigh, sliding her tankard aside to steeple her fingers together, eyeing Kenai and Deoku from across the table, her expression contemplative. Kenai exchanged a look with Deoku, waiting, his fingers tapping lightly on his knee. At length, the female Guard seemed to cave, shaking her head, "I may as well do what I can to help you out. I have a feeling you are the sort to pursue a target with or without the consent of a stubborn Guard. So listen up, I shouldn't be sharing any of this with you- it could cost me my job." Kenai nodded his understanding, leaning back in the bench seat of the booth to cross his arms casually over his chest, his expression expectant. "Macky has been a thorn in our side for a long time. Years. He's done everything from theft and drug dealing to murder and rape. He's a pretty nasty customer with a foul mouth and even fouler temper. Had the displeasure of running into him a few time through my career as a City Guard and he's definitely the sort to leave an impression. I don't think there isn't a decent person in the region who does not want him off the streets. He's a big brute too, wears an eye patch... in all honesty, the best way I can describe him physically is that he looks like some human-troll half breed." she pulled a face and shuddered. "He has his own intel network of spies all throughout the city- it’s how he’s eluded us for so long. He stays in the slums but his reach is everywhere. His lackeys pay him tribute with whatever they manage to steal as a means of buying temporary protection from him and his goons.   Rumor has it... and I shouldn't be saying this but... some say he even has some of the nobles in his pocket, carrying out assassinations for coin."

Deoku listens to her intently taking in every word carefully. "This is good then. If we help solve your problem it will wreck the structure of whatever is going on around here and allow you and your guards to gain a foothold in cleaning things up.", Deoku nodded in understanding.  "It's simply a matter of getting there with minimal detection. I'd rather not have to overwork my buddy and I here.", the older striker stroked his facial hair in thought contemplating how he'd handle this situation.

Kenai hummed quietly in agreement to Deoku's words, his gaze shifting from the older man to the female Guard sitting across from them. He lofted a brow, imploringly, "You said this mook has eyes and ears everywhere, right? At some point, someone has to slip up. He can't hide forever." Tabitha sighed, shaking her head, "Trust me, this whole mess in a nightmare. We've even arrested fellow Guards in the past for being affiliated with Macky and his dirty dealings. He's got his fingers in a lot of pies if you know what I'm saying." She blew a drawn-out sight, shaking her head lightly, "Look, I can give you a general idea of where to look but I can't make any promises. After all, if we knew the exact location of this fiend, he would be in irons by now."  

She passed another glance around them, just to make sure they hadn't garnered any unwanted attention from anyone else in the tavern and once the coast seemed to be clear, leaned in to continue, "You're gonna wanna look carefully in the slums- in particular, the alleys. Rumor has it there is a secret passway hidden in the mason work somewhere. I'm guessing one of those annoying brick equals hole in the wall type of deals but we've combed through them and we've turned up empty every time. Maybe we're not looking in the right places but we can never know for sure cause Macky changes up the entrances somehow.' Kenai frowned. This was turning out to sound more like a pain in the ass than he was expecting. "So basically, it's a wild goose chase trying to find this guy.... Well, luckily for us, the hunt is part of the fun. But if he's somehow swapping entrances, one has to wonder if there is magic involved somehow...." He trailed off, running fingers back through his hair, hazel gaze shifting towards Deoku.

"I wouldn't doubt it." Deoku glanced over to Kenai then replied to his comment. "Even for the mason area...to constantly have to rebuild new entrances and passageways over several years wouldn't go unnoticed.  It would be extremely messy and noisy. ", the man then looked at Tabitha with his greens, still contemplating everything he's hearing.  "To be the kind of brute you describe him as; this all seems very elaborate.  Are you sure he's the only one behind all this? ", he didn't doubt that it could be possible but couldn't help but to be a bit skeptical at the same time.

"Honestly... we have no idea just how deep this all goes. I agree this all sounds far too thorough for a mere criminal but I've learned quick on this job that you can't judge folk by appearances. Macky is cunning. Who knows, perhaps years of being on the radar has made him wise to what we look for. I can't say for certain." she lamented with a frown. Kenai exhaled slowly, taking a moment to process everything shared. "Well, this will prove interesting. If this guy is as sly as you say he is, we'll have to try and stay a few steps ahead of him. He must be far smarter than people give him credit for if he can elude capture for this long. That or..." he trailed off a moment, a look crossing his features as he seemed to zone out as if recalling a memory from his past before shaking himself, forcing the recollection out of his head, "There are a lot of ifs. We won't know for sure until we see for ourselves."

"That I can agree with. ", the tall striker nodded.  "We aren't going to know anything for sure standing here talking all night. " he shrugged. "May as well get moving and see what the night brings..  He then smiled at Tabitha, "Thanks for the tips, we'll see what we can do for you.".  Deoku then turned to Kenai,"I think those cloaks we had earlier will come in handy.", he suggested to his friend.

Tabitha frowned a little, "Just be careful, you two hear?" With that, she rose, taking her tankard with her and rejoined her company at the table, notably in far less good spirits. Kenai rose from his booth seat and looked to Deoku, awaiting his lead. "Sometimes big baddies have back up. Magically inclined back up." He knew from experience and again, he found himself forcing out the images of his past. "We making a quick stop before we go slum spelunking?" he asked, regarding his mentor curiously as they headed towards the exit.

Deoku nods to his friend as the exit the pub, "Yeah we need those cloaks to so we don't stand out as we walk through the lion's den.  Also to get a few magic protection items just in case.", the striker moved at a vigorous pace.  Luckily the inn and bar weren't pretty much right next to each other.  He quickly ascended the stairs and entered their room swiftly grabbing the cloaks they were earlier that day.  He then dug through their bags finding some rings and necklaces that increase their protection against magic attacks.  

"We'll put these on as strikers physical attacks even involving weapons aren't an issue, magic doesn't do us great harm but it's still more effective than anything physical so I'd rather have this extra insurance," he explained to Kenai as he put on the items.  "And finally we'll need these...", he hands Kenai a potion against ranged magic. "We will drink these once we find the secret path so they'll last us the entire time we're there."

Kenai had tailed Deoku the whole way and once in their rented room, he stood by as his mentor collected the items they would be needing, donning the protective jewelry once handed to him and pocketing the elixir for later. He slid his cloak about himself, hazel eyes regarding the older Striker seriously. "Into the lion's den, then. This guy sounds like bad news, the sooner we get him off the streets the better. Think we'll find him tonight?"

"Hmmm, maybe. But that's part of what the cloaks are for. Just in case we don't at least anyone who reports back to him won't know exactly who's looking for him." , he smiled at Kenai.  "But as you mentioned hopefully we can end this tonight and be done with the matter altogether.", Deoku stood up after he finished taking from the bags.  The man then pulled up the hood of his cloak which provided a great deal of concealment since it was also night.   "Alright let's go hunting!", Deoku then moved back toward the doorway and exited the room.

Once again, the pair slipped out into the night, cloaked and alert as they made their way stealthily out of the main trade district and over into the slums. The change was as drastic as night and day. Whereas the main city of Calpheon was grand and beautiful, the slums were dreary and crumbling, signs of vandalism and neglect everywhere they looked. The stench of the sewers underground wafted up through the grates in the streets, mingling with the foul odor of poor hygiene as vagabonds and the derelict cluttered the narrow streets and alleyways, some huddled about barrel fires for warmth and some sleeping against the walls, all clad in a tattered, filthy rag like garments. There was all manner of races here, trolls, giants, elves, humans, shai- there was no prejudice here. Men, women, and children were among the less fortunate, some seriously ill and some rather thuggish looking. It was clear this was not a good place to be.

Deoku sighs, "A shame the nobles make coin off of the suffering of these people.", the striker casually mentioned as they walked while keeping an eye out for anything of interest or danger to them.  Since the two weren't exactly rich themselves luckily their well-traveled cloaks didn't cause them to stand out among the crowd.  Deo cautiously looked around not making it too obvious that he was checking for the area Tabitha mentioned.  "While it won't fix anything overnight at least if we do this it will be a small improvement in some for the people around here."

Kenai nodded solemnly, unable to help but feel pity for those around them, in particular, the children. Ragamuffins and urchins clothed in rags and scraps of clothing, bare feet stained black, limbs thin as toothpicks as they begged for scraps of food or dug for it through trash, eyes hollow and soulless. Without hope. He knew that look all too well and it made his stomach turn as black memories of his haunted past dared to surface. He shook them from his mind, knowing he needed to be clear-headed for the task before them. He squared his shoulders and followed his mentor closely, minding his steps and keeping a keen eye out for any spotters that might make them for what they were. They were near the heart of the slums when both would notice something off about one of the brick walls that gave way to an alley, something that would have gone largely ignored by most who did not know what they were looking for. Among the disheveled stonework towards the center of the alley, a handful of bricks jutted out from the wall on their left, barely an inch but the keen eyes of the Strikers could pick them out easily. To the untrained eye, it would appear to be no more than additional rubble to the crumbling wall. Kenai discreetly tapped Deoku's elbow and gestured with his gaze towards the area that had caught his attention, indicating they should investigate it.

The older striker noticed Kenai's tap and nodded silently, before walking over to the wall as if to lean against it for a rest while getting a closer look.  He casually rested on wall cautiously checking to see if anyone was around or looking their way before taking any action.  Satisfied that the coast was clear Deoku pressed and pushed in the out of place bricks; all the while keeping an eye on their surroundings.  He then looked to his pupil without words; knowing this had to be the spot Tabitha spoke of.

The bricks shifted, grinding dully against the rest of the structure as they were adjusted. Kenai played lookout as Deoku worked, ensuring they drew no attention from their surroundings before a low shifting sound could be made out as the last of the bricks were pushed in. Oddly, the wall seemed to remain as it was upon first inspection until the younger striker moved to join his mentor. The faint gust of some hidden breeze alerted him to the clever ploy, an optical illusion of sorts of a wall hiding another. It was all in the way one looked at the structure after the bricks were pushed in as the hidden passage would not be noticeable if one were to look directly at it, let alone in the poor lighting of the alley and he had to blink a few times to let his eyes focus on the anomaly. "Well, that's different." He stepped forward and reached his hand forward towards the bricks and it appeared, at first, as though his hand went through it until Deoku shifted his position, enabling him to see the hidden path between the walls. Kenai looked to Deoku, a bit uneasy. He hated being in tight, enclosed spaces. He waited for Deoku to slip in first and followed, a bit begrudgingly, the pair carefully making their way through the hidden path which seemed to steadily decline below ground level, taking them underground, eventually widening a bit into what appeared to be catacombs beneath the city, the tunnels dimly lit with torchlight.

Finally able to speak now that they were away from any eyes and ears, Deoku spoke to Kenai; though still keeping his voice low to avoid any echos alerting possible trouble.  "How are you holding up down here? I know enclosed areas aren't exactly your thing, Kenai.", the striker's eyes wandered the catacombs as he checked up on his friend.  Though he was interested in getting this done after years of experience he didn't allow impatience to rush him or make him blind; the older man had his suspicions but kept them to himself for now. "Let's be careful down here. Though I'm sure that goes without saying." the striker mused to lighten the mood a bit. Deoku carefully watched the ground and walls as the moved; taking care to be observant of any traps that might await as the traveled through the dimly lit tunnels and paths of the catacombs.

Kenai nodded, doing his best to keep calm and collected as they regarded their surroundings, clearing his throat lightly so as not to provoke an echo, "Y-yeah... you know, it's no wonder the guard had such a hard time finding this place...." he remarked, equally keen on scouring every shadow and corner to ensure they were alone. The catacombs were old with some areas caved in and piles of rubble and bone littered the ground. The air was stale and musty and in the distance, the sound of dripping water echoed faintly through the tunnels, adding to the eerie feeling one got just being underground. Kenai wasn't a fan. The area seemed void of any life aside from the scurrying rat or two and some bugs with thick cobwebs hanging from corners and the ceiling, the air still and relatively quiet. From what light the torches could provide, the flames casting flickering shadows upon the walls, it seemed as though they were largely undetected for the moment and no traps could be detected from where they stood. Before them, there was only one way to really go, the tunnel clear of obstruction whilst the others were blocked with rubble from them caving in ages ago. For now, the coast was clear.

Deoku and Kenai made their way through the cramped area;.  Once in a while he would check behind them as well to make sure not to leave their backs unguarded. He stopped for a moment and took out his bottle of potion for magic def increase.  Now that they were in the right area its effects would last them more than long enough to get what they needed doing.  He smiled and waved it at Kenai signaling him to use his as well; before chugging it down.  Afterwards, he continued forward as stealthily as possible. "It's a good thing we don't carry large clanky weapons. I imagine a warrior would have a hard time getting through here unnoticed." Deo whispered to his friend.  As they kept moving eventually he observed light becoming slightly brighter in the distance; most likely meaning they were coming closer to a more illuminated area or room.

Kenai followed suit in withdrawing his potion, popping the cork and downing it quickly, feeling the tingle throughout his limbs as it took effect. He tailed his mentor as they carried on forward, noting the light ahead whilst commenting on something that caught his eye, "Seems this path is well traveled. You can see the footprints in the dust upon the floor." he remarked. He was sweating a little, doing his best to keep the fact they were in such enclosed quarters out of his mind and ignore the fact it felt like the walls were closing in on them. He was careful in checking their surroundings, making sure they tripped no traps and had no one following them and before long, the tunnel began to grow steadily more lit as they approached a far more open section of the catacombs. A far more open space, pillars lit with torches greeted them as they neared cautiously. Before Deoku could step fully into the room, Kenai's hand shot out, halting him, "Wait, Deo." He nodded to where he was about to step, the faintest glimmer of a nearly invisible thread tethered from one end of the passage to the other at ankle level though whether it was linked to a trap or not, it was hard to say. It was only from the gleam of the flickering torchlight catching upon it that Kenai was able to see it. There was something off about it, and the younger Striker couldn't help the prickle along the back of his neck as his sixth sense warned him of impending danger. "Best not step on that."

"Good idea. While I'm confident in my defensive ability; I don't think Id want to test its ability to stop whatever that string leads to.", he commented as he peered into the room before them.  The striker looked down at the wire before stepping over it making sure that it wasn't a layered trap where he'd step over one only to find another. Satisfied after checking he stepped over the wire and carefully through the doorway, checking to both the left and the right making sure no one was awaiting them.  Rather than walk down the center of the room in its most open and viewable area, Deoku walked closer to a single side of the larger room instead.

Despite their caution, as they ventured further into the cavern, keeping to the shadows and hugging the walls, the feeling that something wasn't quite right nagged at Kenai, making him tense. "...I don't like this," he remarked quietly to his mentor. It wasn't until he stepped upon something that crunched at his feet did the young Striker freeze, looking down to see skeletal remains in a pile against the wall and among some loose stone. Further, inspection would reveal several similar mounds about the cavern and as the flames from the torches flickered, that was when they could see them. Criss-crossing across the open spaces of the cavern were dozens more of those fine, barely visible threads, only seen when the light catches them just right, beads of something gelatinous coating them. The feeling of dread crawled up Kenai's spine as he dared draw his gaze upwards, the hair on the back of his neck standing up, "...Don't tell me...." Above them was a mass cocoon-like structure, mass webbing stretching as far out as the cavern would allow. Not a stone was visible of the initial catacomb ceiling, just thick layers of spun silk the creature made tunnels throughout them. It was a lair, and if the pile of bones scattered about the cavern floor was any indicator, many an unfortunate soul met their end here. A shudder ran through him, unable to fight the urge. He hated spiders. And if the size was any indicator, he doubted he wanted to see what made the webs that surrounded them. He remained still, listening for any movement, hazel eyes scouring the dimly lit chamber for the many strands of deadly silk, knowing they needed to pick their way carefully. One touch could be their end if they got tangled.

"Huh.", The striker thought calmly as he looked around. "Guess it was an illusion spell", Deo then looked over to Kenai checking on his condition.  "If you need Kenai we can always turn back.  I don't want to put you in a situation you aren't for yet.", the older striker offered his friend noticing his concerned worried expression. As he spoke to his student his eyes were also surveying where each strand of silk ran.  Deo was thankful he decided to travel along the outer wall where the webs were fewer and they could possibly move through them if cautious and nimble enough;  the main concentration of webbing filled the center of the room almost completely.   The man took not another step until he heard from his friend. "Don't feel you have to go through with this to prove anything to me Kenai; just remember one of the lessons I taught you a while back.  Retreat can always be a valid tactic as well."

Kenai looked indignant, "Hell no, Deo. I'm not going anywhere without you, we stick together and have each other's backs. That's how it works." He moved carefully, picking his way along the wall and being mindful of the webs that were spread haphazardly throughout the chamber. "Better safe than sorry... see a way through?" he implored, squinting at their surroundings, trying to pinpoint a safer path for them to wiggle through undetected though it would be a challenge to keep their cloaks from getting snared. " I'd rather not wake whatever's laying in wait."

Deo nods in reply," Alright as long as you're fine we'll keep going.", he spoke as he looked around making sure nothing snuck up on either of them. Deo didn't want to alert his already nervous partner, but he could make out the numerous glossy eyes of the creature high above the room.  thanks to the flickering flames dimly lighting the room, and a  faint outline of a portion of its body.  "Yeah, I see a way.  Keep close to the larger piles of bones and stay low.  I noticed it doesn't use much webbing near those piles because if it did any little bone that fell over and hit the web would constantly alert it for no reason. So it made sure the webs avoided the piles by angling upward and over them.", he then explained.  "Also over there...counter to the center wall.  It's faint but if you look at the light that manages to reach it; you can see the outline  of the doorway leading out of this area."

The creature hadn't moved and he didn't want to alert or give it any reason to do so, so he moved cautiously navigating the webs. Before going further Deo stopped and showed Kenai what he was doing. Not wanting to speak too much in case their voices may provoke the creature or catch its ears eventually; he simply demonstrated tying the bottom of his cloak around his waist.  This kept the extra fabric from possibly brushing against something it shouldn't until they could make their way out of the room.

Kenai did his best to mimic his mentor, securing his cloak in a similar fashion as he picked his footing wisely, all the while feeling the eyes above him upon his back, making the hair at the nape of his neck stand on end. He resisted the impulse to shudder in revulsion and focused on Deoku, mirroring his actions to safely navigate the hazardous space they had found themselves in. Miraculously, they managed to make their way safely through to the other side where the conjoining tunnel continued on ahead, the end flickering with more torchlight. It seemed the looming danger of the previous room was avoided for the time being. They pushed onward and as they neared the end, several yards away, the sound of voices could be detected. The tunnel led into a large cavern, alight with torch fire, the light dancing upon items of wealth and making them glitter, gold chalices, silver platters, coins, gems, lavishly woven rugs, paintings of repute, to name a few of the various treasures that cluttered the space of the catacombs from ground to walls. It reminded Kenai of a book he once read about Pirates and their lair of spoils and couldn't help but wonder if that was what they had somehow stumbled upon. They hid easily behind one of several large piles of rubble that lined the walls of the cavern, enabling them to observe the scene before them undetected.

Men and women, all of which looked like ruffians and all around unpleasant people, laughed and bickered, indulging in alcohol they poured from one of several large kegs towards the back of the room where at the center sat a risen platform and a thrown made from a plush armchair and draped with luxurious furs and cushions, gem necklaces draped off the back. Seated among it was a large, ugly brute of a man in a ratty trench coat, a pipe in one hand and a tankard of ale in the other. It seemed the stumbled upon the den of thieves.

Still being cautious after their near miss in the previous cavern, Deoku observed his surroundings looking upwards as well making sure nothing would surprise them from the ceiling.  Satisfied, he then made sure they were well hidden behind the column and out of view from the door, they came through.  He tried to avoid knocking over any of a large amount of treasure near them that may alert the room or give away their location.   

"It seems we found our target Kenai.  He's as ugly as Tabitha described it would seem.", he whispered to his friend as the spied upon the riff-raff in the large room.  For now, he just wanted to observe to see if any worthwhile info would be spilled.  Which worked out for him in 2 ways, because it would also allow them to get a bit drunker decreasing their ability to put up their best fight and making a poor decision in battle if they did.  Though he noticed the guy who appeared to be Macky wasn't as drunk as the others. At least not for the time being. "Huh, guess he can hold his liquor pretty well." the striker quietly mentioned."

Kenai nodded, crinkling his nose. He could smell them all from here. "Yeah... okay, what's the plan?" Hazel eyes turned to Deoku expectantly. The older man always had a plan. As they hid together, the commotion in the room didn't stop, the two intruders largely undetected as the ruffians jostled one another, some fighting amongst themselves in their drunken stupor over a game of cards and others drinking until they passed out. It was honestly a bit of a madhouse in there and it smelt like a zoo, not very pleasant in the least. All the while, Macky sat slouched in his makeshift throne, swigging his booze and guffawing at the antics of his crew, unaware they were being spied upon from the shadows.

Our biggest concern is taking out the ones still awake before the big guy can react.  We'll need to make sure it's just us versus him. I doubt we'd want to have to take our focus off of him during a brawl, though I have a plan if things aren't going so well against him." The striker turned and whispered to his young partner.   Deo then glanced up and smirked, "Welp Kenai looks like we're in luck..", the man pointed at the large gaudy chandelier above the rowdy group.  

"They will be out of commission once that heavy thing lands on them, and the few that are already down anyway will stay down.  Though it's a good source of light there's enough  light still coming off the other chandelier and candles around the room that vision shouldn't be an issue."

Kenai nodded as his gaze flicking about the various things Deoku pointed out, a devious grin tugging at the corner of his lips. "Yeah, yeah- got it!" He looked to his mentor and hastily nodded his agreement to the plan the older Striker was concocting, showing his understanding. "How are we going to get it down?" he wondered, pausing to follow the length of chain the chandelier hung by, noting it was attached to a hook mounted in the rough stone of the wall behind the fake throne Macky slouched in. The second was similarly attached to the wall opposite. It would take some clever thinking to get the chains loose.

Deoku smiled to his friend, "Welp my friend..." the striker whispered. "A mix of great aim and good ol’ fashioned striker strength." The older man picked up a decent sized diamond among the treasure surrounding them. "Channel your energy enough to send one of these bad boys flying at the part of the wall that's anchoring the mount.  When it fractures the hooks will come free and you can guess the rest." He passed one to Kenai. "Just make sure it hits hard enough to break it in one go. If it takes too long to release it could alert them." The man then looked back over to their targets. "Let me know when you're ready" he began quickly focusing his energy into his hand.

Kenai nodded although he had a momentary pause as the gem was placed in his hand caused him to hesitate, eyes going wide as it dawned on him what he held, "Holy shit- look at the size of this thing... it could feed us for the rest of our lives!" It was certainly the largest jewel he had ever seen, let alone held, in his life! 

He sniggered then, waggling his brows playfully at Deoku as something crossed his mind, a smirk playing along his lips cheekily, "Bet you can buy your new lady a nice piece of land with one of these puppies. Maybe I should pocket one for a wedding gift." he teased, unable to help himself as it struck him just how ridiculous it actually was that he was essentially playing darts with a gem the size of his palm. he focused his energy in a similar fashion to his mentor, zeroing in on his target, adjusting his position accordingly before murmuring low, "Okay, ready!"

"Not a bad thought now that you mention it..." The mentor quietly chuckled, "You and your ideas. Let's get out of this mess first then we'll  see if there's anything left for us or any reward at all for that matter." Deoku peeked again making sure it was safe as Kenai confirmed he too was ready to go. "Ok ready here as well. I'll take out the mount behind the big guy you get the other." He carefully took aim at the stone around the mount and fire the jewel off in a high-speed burst shattering enough of the stone wall near/around the mount for it to break free. 

Simultaneously, Kenai's own gem rocketed off through the dim glow of the room, a sharp pang! ringing out in unison with Deoku's own gem as they both met their marks, the old, worn stone around the rusted metal links that kept the chandelier chains in place crumbling like dust. Before the congregation of ruffians in the main chamber knew what was happening, the twin chandeliers came crashing down in a rain of tempered iron and crystal which shattered into a fine rain of glittering shards upon impact with the ground. 

Utter chaos broke out in the room, several of the villainous-looking individuals in the main chamber getting caught under the weight of the chandeliers, shrieking in pain and surprise as the fixtures bared down on them, pinning some and wounding others. Macky was just shy of being caught as the chandelier above him fell, his makeshift throne throwing him back as it tilted back in his initial start as the fixtures made an impact with the dirt and stone of the chamber floor. By the time it took him to right himself, get to his feet, and reach for the wicked looking club he kept nearby, the bulk of it studded with twisted prongs of metal, it was already too late, the whole chamber falling into a dim gloom, greatly impeding his vision already blurred by drug and drink.

The veteran striker watched the madness afar with is pupil as their plan played out among loud noise, thick dust, and twisting metal. "It worked Kenai!" Deoku stated enthusiastically while still keeping a whisper. "Sadly from what I could tell it just missed the big guy so we'll have our work cut out for him. But we have an advantage; we know where he is but he doesn't know where we are.  Even if we have to fight him we can at least get the initial drop on him." he explained before cautiously making his way toward the direction of the throne. 

  Kenai was struggling to contain his snickering at the sight of the mayhem before them, the air thick with dust and the slurred, cursing of the ruffians that staggered and crawled across the chamber. Macky booted an unfortunate in the rump who blindly grabbed at his booted ankle, screeching profanities at his crew for their incompetence and for a moment, the scene in front of them seemed almost comical. 

Then the air was pierced by a menacing hiss, starting low and guttural and gaining in pitch, like a hundred angry serpents rearing all at once in warning. Kenai instantly felt the hair stand on end along his arms and the back of his neck, his hazel gaze shifting slowly towards the entrance of the chambers where, in the dusty gloom, a monstrous figure prowled through. Inky black in the low light, it looked like a solidified shadow in comparison, four long legs passing through the chamber opening followed by four more, the massive body, bristling with hairs almost slithering through as appendages felt around before it, sight form its six eyes gleaming in the dark, its vision long gone from years in the depths. 

The monster from the previous chamber had been disturbed by the vibrations and the noise and had come to investigate.

Deoku watched amused by the chaos unfolding before his eyes but hearing the loud screech soon after almost sucked away his fun as fast as it had begun. "Ah great, you again", the striker quietly said to himself as the creature emerged.  He made sure to keep clear of the large monsters feelers while staying out of sight as well.  Thankfully the large spider also obscured the view even more and as well as kicked up a bit more dust while feeling around  He felt sorry for some of the loud drunk victims that would fall prey to the indiscriminate beast.  Not having sense enough to quiet themselves or even realizing the spider had entered the room at all.

In the haze, the dust swirling in the air so thick Kenai could choke on it, the monster squeezed through the narrow archway, old and brittle stone crumbling into dust upon the floor with a fleshy scrape of its grotesque bulk. Its eyes were dull and milky but its fangs were wickedly curved with hollow, needle-like points tucked up in its chelicerae, beads of venom clinging to them despite the twitch of anticipation that made them click together, thick palps tapping ahead of it, feeling for those lost in the chaos. 

The first unfortunate that stumbled against the spider's sensitive, hair covered leg never knew what hit him and in truth, the strike was so swift and vicious, Kenai actually jumped, the man's shrieks of fear and pain echoing off the walls. If chaos hadn't erupted before, then all hell had broken loose now. The massive's spider's appetite was insatiable and indiscriminate, twisted fangs piercing bodies and clawed spindly legs pinning unfortunates to the ground, crushed beneath the beast's weight.  In all his life, Kenai had never seen such stomach-turning carnage. The sound alone was enough to drain the color from his face and make him cringe. "I... uh... I-I think we should get the hell out of here, Deo...." he muttered to his mentor.

Deo looked over at his horrified student, he understood while he himself had witnessed such things in the past his student witnessed horrible things of a different kind.  Not wanting to put the young man in further danger he nodded in agreement and suggested they make a move to get out while the massive spider was still occupied with its noisy victims.  With any luck it might take out their target for them any way he thought to himself.  "To the far wall.", the older man suggested to his apprentice giving him a pat on the shoulder.  They wanted to avoid any contact and remind unnoticed while the dust swirled through the air of the already dim cavern.  While the monster was occupied they'd have to swiftly backtrack or make there way out of wherever Macky made his way in.  Deoku knew there had to be a safer route the tyrant and his crew took to get in here. As rowdy as that bunch was there was no way they snuck pass that spider every time they came down here.

All too eager to put as much distance between himself and the creature of nightmares as possible, Kenai did as his mentor instructed, being mindful to pick his way as carefully and silently as possible, doing his best to avoid watching the gristly scene unfolding in the chamber. As they beat a hasty retreat, the screams of pain and horror echoed after them and despite himself, Kenai felt deep pity for them all. He wouldn't wish such an end on anyone. 

Just as they got to the mouth of the archway, loose rumble began to rain down, shaken loose by the massive spider's form crashing against pillars too old to withstand the weight as it thrashed about in its feeding frenzy, a stone just missing Kenai by inches, drawing his attention upwards, "Oh shit... Run!" 

Like a domino effect, the little pebbles of disintegrating stone soon became chunks and then slabs, the whole upper portion of the ceiling caving in, a shower of roots, soil, stone, and webs, the dust made all the thicker on the air now reeking of death, mold, and damp earth. The young striker bolted to avoid most of the debris raining down over their heads but could not avoid all of it, getting clipped by a falling brick that left him slightly dazed and stumbling.

Deoku watched as it seemed like the world was collapsing around them; the retreat becoming more dangerous as the spider occupied itself its newly found meals.  More importantly, he saw his student in a dire situation.  As the debris became larger by the moment he too took a hit to the left shoulder but had to shrug it off and help support Kenai through the collapsing tunnel as quickly as possible.  But he knew at their current rate neither of them would make it; he had to act fast and think just as quickly.  "I was going to save this for a bigger fight but I have to get you out of here alive kid." he grunted as he helped a dazed Kenai move along.  The striker quickly focused his energy and chi, causing his body temperature to raise greatly so much so that it began to become visible to the naked eye.  More notably the gauntlets on his arms almost seemed to take on a life of their own; as the hard shiny metal armor began to segment and cover his entire upper body. Between the segmented lines, his energy could be seen glowing red like molten magma.

Just as the change completed a large stone slab was coming down to crush them both, but suddenly four mysterious figures appeared surrounding the two men.  Dressed exactly like Deoku and around the same height and size.; they shattered the stone into dust and small pebbles with relative ease. Deoku quickly hoisted Kenai onto his back as the four figures disappeared just as quickly as they came and ran forward as quickly as he could with the extra weight on his shoulders. The four silhouettes appeared and disappeared as if teleporting clearing the way for the strikers until they finally made it through the smaller tunnel out of immediate danger.

Although stunned by the blow, he managed to keep most of his wits about him, ever stubborn and iron-willed, always refusing to lose control. He caught sight of Deoku as his mentor made it to his side, shrugging off a hit to his shoulder and together the pair made a dash for safety, the rumbling of the collapsing building now drowning out the screams of terror in the previous chamber, the ground quaking as heavy slabs of stone impacted the floor of the catacombs. 

When the older Striker spoke, Kenai realized through the throb in his head and the blood that blurred the vision of his left eye that their situation was indeed dire and for a moment, didn't think they would make it out in time. Then the warmth engulfed him, golden light radiating from Deoku's form slowly and building. The spectacle he witnessed after was baffling and awe-inspiring but they had no time for questions. With his balance somewhat recovered, the pair bolted for the tunnel that they initially entered through, dust all but pursuing them up it as the previous chamber collapsed in on its self. Blindly fighting through the suffocating dust, they, at last, broke out of the tunnel and out of the concealed entrance, covered in dirt and debris, coughing and sputtering just as the abandoned building that hid Macky's secret lair toppled inwards. 

That was certainly going to draw attention.

Once outside Deo swiftly released his power and the armor that surrounded his body began to retract and his hair relaxed once again; restoring him to his normal appearance. As the two took a moment to catch their breathe Deoku quickly threw Kenai's cloak over him, then untied his own from around his waist; thankful that his power hadn't disintegrated the item and placing it on himself as well.   "Let's move to a spot that will draw less attention Ken.", He suggested knowing that soon would be on this area.  They needed to make their way away from the building as it collapsed sending a large cloud of dust traveling down the stone streets.   The pair made their way away from being associated with the chaotic scene; far enough to simply be two people walking along a road in a nearby area around the time it happened.  To lighten the mood Deoku commented to his student, "Well...at least we solved a REALLY big bug problem for them."  Once a safe distance away; he directed Kenai toward a decent place to sit and gather himself and inspect the hit he took to his head. 

Kenai kept pace with his mentor as people hurried past them to where the building collapsed, curious on lookers and genuinely concerned folk from Calpheon rushing to see if anyone needed help. By the time they were a good distance away, a large crowd had gathered and Calpheon guards were also on the scene, taking control of the situation. Keeping his cloak around himself, the younger Striker kept close to Deoku and snickered at his joking quip, remarking," No kidding. Stuff of Nightmares." When at last they found a place to take a breather, Kenai took a seat on a stone bench, blowing a sigh of relief as he removed his cloak and dusted himself off. They were going to need a bath for sure after their little spelunking misadventure. Hazel eyes blinked curiously as Deoku hovered before him, inspecting the injury to his head. A puffy laceration, now bruised, was on his scalp above his left eye, partially in his hairline. The blood had dried by now but the injury looked tender but fortunately, it did not appear to need stitches, just a good cleaning and some TLC. "Give it to me straight, Doc... am I dying?" he asked in mock dismay, clearly not having lost his sense of humor.

Deoku chuckled, "Luckily for you its nothing serious as long as we get it cleaned up and yo make sure to tend to it.  We'll do that soon as we get back to the inn."  Deo then sat himself down as well finally taking in a breathe and bushing off his clothes.  He winced slightly as the pain from the injury finally kicked in now that the adrenaline had worn off. Inspecting it he was glad that nothing was broken but just bruised instead.  He'll wrap it up and it should be fine in a few days. "Man what a day....  After this, I think I'll be out cold for quite a while once we hit the bed." A chuckle of agreement slipped Kenai's lips as he leaned back, putting his weight on his palms, stretching his back and neck with a satisfying pop, a sigh following after, "No kidding. We have a lot of explaining to do to Tabitha. I wouldn't want to fill out that paperwork...."A hand rose to run back through his hair, shaking out any residual dust and debris. "A power nap doesn't sound half bad actually." he mused. 

"Ugh yeah, I think I'll save talking to her for tomorrow.", he replied in exhaustion knowing that it would be a lot to explain to Tabitha. The striker sigh as he slapped both hands down on his knees motivating himself to get up. "Welp kid let's get moving back to the inn.  If I get too comfortable here much longer I may just find myself waking up out here in the morning.", he joked looking to his Kenai.  "That and we need to clean up that wound of yours and wrap up my shoulder before we get some sleep.   Feeling well enough to move?", he asked knowing that Kenai was a bit dazed earlier. 

With a slight dip of his chin in a nod, Kenai rose to his feet, the throbbing in his head having subsided some, "Yeah, I'm good. Let's go, a hot bath is calling my name." he remarked with a cheeky grin, falling into step beside his teacher. 

As they made their way back towards the inn, they could spot the large crowd that had gathered to view the damage they had left behind with some guards removing rubble and setting them into piles while others talked to possible witnesses. Fortunately, it did not look like anyone got hurt in the chaos, and for that, Kenai was grateful. After a moment of thought, he asked, "Think Macky made it out?"

With a sigh, the older man replied," I'd hope not, but what I've learned over the years is that...bad things rarely happen to bad people. It's the good ones that usually suffer the most. Funny how the world works." Deoku looked up to the starry sky a moment in thought as they walked. "Before we got out of there I was thinking.  There's no way he and his noisy crew snuck through that spider's layer every time they entered that hideout.  There had to be another safe way in assuming he survived that's how he got out; not lifting a finger to help his comrades.", Deoku expressed a bit annoyed at the thought that such a foul individual possibly escaped to continue his wrongdoings.  "I can't lie Kenai a darker part of me wanted to toss something his way to get the spiders attention on him directly, but I'm not that heartless plus I didn't want to subject you to more of that scene."

Deoku then looked forward once more as he walked; letting go of any frustration just as fast as it came. "Either way even if he made it out I doubt it was unharmed. Plus he took a big hit to his group.  He won't be operating at full power anytime soon.  As the saying goes it's hard to find good help.", he smirked at the thought of ruining Macky's stranglehold on the city."But what I wanted the most was to get those guys off the streets of Calpheon for innocent people like Olive.", he finally explained to his friend.

Kenai listened as the older Striker spoke, nodding slowly in understanding. He had suspected all along that the main motive behind the night's events had been because of his mentor's newfound attraction and in truth, deep down, a part of him felt fiercely jealous. But he hid it well and besides, he was sincerely happy for Deoku, however complicated his own emotions were. It was nothing against the half-elf, after meeting her, he realized just how dumb his unfounded jealousy really was. She was sweet and kind-hearted, almost motherly. In fact, in a way, apart her did remind him of what he could recall of his mom. Which was even weirder. He was never good at sorting out his emotions on a deeply thought out level anyway. 

"I wouldn't wish that nightmare on anyone," he commented, forcing his thoughts back to the topic at hand, a shudder running up his back. Vaguely, he could still hear the screams in the back of his mind. "But if Macky did get out, lets at least hope things will be quiet for a bit. It might actually make Tabitha's job easier in tracking him down since now he has nowhere under the radar to hide." They made it to the inn's entrance and trudged inside, weaving through the night crowd and making a beeline for the stairs up to their room on the second floor.

"Exactly, if the Calpheon guards do their part too they should be able to catch him and make him pay for everything he's done.", Deoku agreed.  "His allies are gone and so is his rock to hide under. Uhh, no pun intended.", the older man scratched his head realizing what he had just said. as he walked upstairs to their room.  Stopping at the door he pulled out a key and opened it signaling for Kenai to head in first and he soon followed closing it behind them.  Deoku then headed to their bags first; grabbing supplies to clean Kenai's wound and tape up his own shoulder. Also, the man took out two potions to help speed up the healing process once they finished tending to the minor injuries.

Kenai shuffled into the room, feeling tired after the day's excitement. Once the door was closed behind them, Kenai pulled his tunic off, leaving his upper body bare to the cool evening air, tossing the soiled garment into a corner to wash later. He stifled a yawn as he turned for his bed and seated himself on the foot end, watching Deoku as he went about collecting the items he needed to doctor them both up. He considered the older Striker for a moment in silence, his expression thoughtful before at length, he spoke, "You seeing Olivette tomorrow?" he wondered aloud.

As he brought the items over to Kenai; the older man listened to his friend's question as he sat the medical items upon the bed and began to treat his wound. "Hmm, well the plan was to meet her tomorrow from what she and I spoke of.  Unless something happens I should be able to.", Deo replied as he used a clean cloth with fresh water to wipe away the dry blood and applied a liquid to a clean small white pad cleaning the wound lightly with it.  Finally grabbing another small strip and coated the bottom side with a natural herbal ointment to help the wound heal faster without leaving a scar. "Did you have something in mind after it's done?", he asked curiously. After the small piece of gauze was secure Deoku stood up discarding his own upper body armor, and wiping off the area of his injury as well before beginning to tape it up.

Kenai nodded slowly before staying still, letting his mentor dress his injury. At length, he remarked, "No, just asking... She's... nice. Not really what I expected, to be honest. Elves tend to be... well... different." When Deoku turned his attention to himself, Kenai stood and lent a hand in tending to the older Striker's injured shoulder, fingers carefully working around the tender shoulder. "It's good seeing you happy," he added after a moment of thoughtful silence.

"Different? Oh you mean more blonde, porcelain skin, and tall like Leilani was?", he asked Kenai.  "I think that unique look she has is a part of her appeal.;aside from her kind personality." , he paused for a moment as Kenai came to help him. "Come on Ken...tell me what's actually on your mind though.  I can hear it in your voice. You want to say or ask me something but seem unable to put it in words.",  he said to the younger man.

Kenai considered it a moment, "No, not appearance... I was meaning more personality. Most elves are confident, self-assured, kinda egocentric.... They tend to be assholes, basically." he stated to be plainer, shoulders bobbing, "Leilani was an exception although she did sport the stereotypical look. Olive's personality was just not what I expected is all." He fell silent as he helped Deoku with his injury, mulling over his next thoughts at his Mentors prompt. 

At length, coming up short on what to say, he shrugged again, an abrupt bob of his shoulders, "I dunno. Stupid, I guess... I can't describe it. Guess I'm just... protective maybe, I dunno." he muttered, flustered. "Ignore me, I'm being childish." there was disappointment in his tone, more at himself than anything. He was never very good at putting his emotions into words. And there was no way he was going to outright and tell Deoku he was jealous of his new half-elf girlfriend.

"Ahh you meant more like Leilani's sister then.", Deoku laughed a bit at the thought of the difference between his old friends.  "Well, I think that sweetness of Olive's is what hooked my interest.  Had I approached her and she turned out to be like the rest I doubt we'd be able to have this talk at all since I would have lost interest.  How does a guy get lucky enough to meet two  kind elves in his life after all.", he told Kenai. "Huh, now that I think about it the two women who caught my affections the most have both been elves.  If this keeps up I might have to believe I have a thing for them even though I don't."  , he joked as they finished up wrapping his shoulder.  The tall striker then stood up, resting a hand on Kenai's shoulder. "It's ok Kenai I get it.  We look out for each other; that's what we do.  I wouldn't call that stupid or childish; if anything I appreciate it."

Kenai offered a small nod, grateful for the acknowledgment and the change in topic. He offered the older man a small lopsided grin as he received the pat on his shoulder, remarking cheekily in a playful quip, "Maybe you do have a type. Although Olivette is only half-elf, isn't she? So maybe not so much a type as a reference to something exotic." He contemplated a moment before adding, "She is very pretty. I've never seen anyone who looks like her before. Especially her hair and eyes... they're very unique. But different is nice." 

The younger Striker made his way towards his pack and pulled out a canteen of water, taking a much-needed drink. Once finished, he paused and crinkled his nose, remarking offhandedly, "I'm gross. I need a wash." It was true, they were both particularly unpleasant smelling and looking for that matter, filthy from dust, soil, cobwebs, and who knew what else, the stench of stale moldy earth and sweat clinging to them without mercy. Tossing his canteen onto his bed, he made a beeline for the door, more than likely heading out for a dip in the river as they had no bathrooms in these cheap rooms.

Deoku stroked the facial hair on his chin in thought for a moment, "Exotic....hmmm guess I never looked at it that way before.  Could be some truth to that though."  He then noticed Kenai heading for the door after listening to his comment about their current state of hygiene. "You're definitely right there. No way I'm going out with anyone tomorrow looking and smelling like this.  Hell, I'd turn myself down." , he followed soon after and headed out with his pupil. "I think just seeing that giant spider alone made me feel disgusting," he commented as they quickly went downstairs once more.

Kenai snickered as they made their way out, heading towards the nearest flowing water source which happened to be the river just outside the city's walls. Once there, they found a shallow, secluded spot and there Kenai began to undress. "You know Deo... I didn't really expect to like it here so much. I mean, yeah Calpheon is a loud and busy place but at the same time... I don't know, there is a charm to it I think." 

He slipped a barefoot into the cool water and once adjusted to the cool temperature, slid in up to his waist, a soft gasp from the cold against his skin. Inhaling a deep breath he took the plunge and daringly dunked his head under the water, coming back up for breath once his hair was saturated, hands wiping water away from his face. It was refreshing.

The older striker nodded in agreement with his companion, " It's definitely an interesting place.  THere's plenty to see and do and no shortage of work for us I'm sure.  Especially after hearing all the things we were told earlier tonight." Deoku soon followed after removing his clothing;  submerging himself into the cold water and waiting for his body to adjust to the temperature. "But there's a lot of entertainment to be had as well, I'm sure once we get to know this city better there will always be something to keep our interest.", he added as he began washing the dust and grime from his face and hair.

Kenai nodded in agreement, hands running along his arms and chest to wash away the remains of the day. He considered the events so far and was surprised at just how much trouble they had already gotten into despite having only been in the city a few days. "You're right. We haven't been here long and already we're up to our elbows in mischief." he quipped jokingly. "The region is beautiful though. I look forward to exploring more of the city and outside its walls. I'm sure we can prove useful in more places than just in the city. I heard there's an arena along the outer wall too. It'll be fun to test some of the locals." he mused.

"You're not wrong there the scenery around here is top notch; mountains, lakes, green almost everywhere outside of the walls. It's a very nice region."   Deo dunked his head under water getting rid of any missed debris before coming back up and continuing to clean off the rest of his body.  "Yes, there's definitely plenty of other areas surrounding this city that could use our assistance too." , he mentioned in agreement as he continued to scrub all over. "Ha, who knows if we do well enough we may even make a name for ourselves and people come to find us instead.  Though I'm not always sure that's a good thing, because enemies will know where to find us too." the older man stated; half thinking aloud.

Kenai hummed in thought at that, nodding slowly. "Yeah... at least we'll keep busy." A small smirk played along his lips then as he thought of something, throwing Deoku a cheeky sidelong glance, "Just do me a favor old man and don't get too fat on Olive's cooking!" He couldn't help but chuckle, moving past his mentor casually as he inched closer to the bank, satisfied he was clean enough.

Deoku chuckled.  "I'm going to be too busy keeping you on your toes, and smacking around the no goods in this city to get fat.", the striker joked as he moved to get out of the cold river water.  "Though I have a feeling you'll be over there snacking as much as possible when you have the chance.", Deoku teased his student.  He then dried himself and gathered up his clothes; putting them on as the two men got ready to head back to the inn and complete their long day.  "Keep your eye out as well Ken, never know when that special someone will come into your life as well.  Though I guess I can't say that just yet either; she and I just met." , he thought to himself. "But hopefully this will work out differently than the last elf I went out with."

Kenai finished dressing and paused to consider his companion's words before offering a small half-hearted shrug. "Eh, I guess...." He ran a hand back through his undercut, dark chocolate brown tresses slicking back along his crown with the motion as he avoided eye contact for the moment. "Never know, life is weird that way," he added as he collected his own items and fell into pace beside Deoku, the pair heading back into town the way they had come.

He looked toward his friend sensing something was bothering him and asked, "Hmm, so you're going to tell me what's on your mind?  I can tell something seems to be bugging you." The older man stated as he walked back to the inn with his student.

"It's nothing." He flashed his companion a wry grin, "Just tired. Its been a long day. Apologies in advance if I snore like a bear later." he quipped jokingly.

Deoku laughed, "We'll both hibernate well tonight my friend." he patted Kenai on the shoulder as they headed back to finally end their day.

[imagineredwood]

*** I only used some parts of the song so that I could try an make it as close to Juice as possible and keep it as realistic as possible. I can't really see Juice being unfaithful and cheating on someone that he finally had to love him and call his own, unless he was in a reeeeally bad spot, so I'm setting this in season 7 where he's just a mess. Completely distraught and out of his element, essentially out of his character. Worried about losing everything and without realizing it, ruining whatever little he still had. Hope you guys like it. ***

 (Warning for cheating, mention of attempted suicide and just sadness in general because BITCH 😫💔 ) 

Juice ran his hand over his head as another sob broke from your chest. He'd been sitting with his back to the bathroom door for 30 minutes now, listening to you weep. You'd been through a lot in life, just as everyone had. You had experienced pain and betrayal, but you had never expected it from Juice. You had always been given his love and adoration, and given the same in return. You loved him and took care of him. Gave him a home and a good woman to come home to. You supported him and his club, was always there when you needed him. You had expected his tenderness, not his infidelity. Life had a funny way of doing things though and apparently, some other woman had given him something more than you had and got him to stray.

I wish we could just pretend to be  Like we always were before, as happy as the Kennedy's No one told Jackie about Marilyn's tendencies 

 You had found out that she wasn't a Croweater, she was just a girl that lived in town and had shopped at his dispensary. She wasn't a sweet butt that was just being there for a Son, no intentions of hurting you. She was a girl that had gotten with your man because she wanted him and apparently he had wanted her too. You weren't sure what hurt more. You had your suspicions, his calls coming less frequently, his time at home getting smaller. The thought had been at the back of your mind for weeks, eating at you and ripping apart your heart a little more each day. But you tried to ignore it. To push back the thought of not being enough for the man you loved. You had been with Juice for years, since Queens. Married at 18, not counting the days of how long you'd been together. It felt like you had spent your whole life with him and you found it hard to remember a life before him, without him. You didn't want to believe that all this time of your life had been in vain. That you would lose the one that meant everything to you. You couldn't.

 Ignorance is bliss when you're married half a century Life is too short, trying to hold it all together 

 You pulled your head up and looked at your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes were red and puffy, the tip of your nose pink from all your rubbing at it. You sucked in a breath and blew it out shakily. You weren't sure what you were going to do. You didn't want to stand for the betrayal and humiliation, you deserved better than that. However, you weren't sure if you wanted to let this relationship go to waste. You knew you had to make a big decision and you weren't sure if you trusted yourself to make the right one in this state of mind. Your heart was in shambles and you knew nothing good ever came from making choices like that. You needed a nights sleep before you determined what you were going to do. 

 I want to love you But if it's not right what can I do? Everything will be alright So baby get some sleep tonight 

 You wiped at your swollen eyes once more before you turned towards the door, unlocking it and pulling it open. Juice immediately turned to look at you but you simply stepped over him, walking into the bedroom and going towards the bed. He stood slowly and watched you as you climbed into bed, slipping under the covers and sitting up. He slowly walked towards you, roughly swiping at the tear in his own lashes as he sat at the foot of the bed, wanting to give you some space. He still knew he had to speak to you though. He had to try to make things right. 

 "Baby?"

 You didn't say anything, just sniffled.

 "Baby, please, say something. Anything."

 "What do you want me to say Juice? What is there to say?" "I don't know just...just say something. Yell at me or something." 

 You rolled your eyes, your anger finally starting to seep in.

 "I don't need to yell at you. You know you fucked up." 

 He nodded and looked down at his lap. 

 "I know. I never meant to hurt you though. I was just stressed with the club. I know I should've gone to you but she just, she was a breath of fresh air kinda."

 You scoffed in disgust at his words, his eyes going wide as he realized how that sounded. 

 "I didn't mean it like that! I meant a breath of fresh air from the club, not you. I didn't mean I needed a break from you, I just..." 

 His words trailed off and he took a deep breath to steady himself, knowing he was just going to dig himself deeper if he kept on that route. He'd kept you entirely in the dark with everything going in with Roosevelt and the club. You had no idea about him giving up info or trying to kill himself or being weak and a rat in the clubs eyes. He hadn't wanted to bring that home to you. He never wanted to involve you in his mess and put any more weight on your shoulders. He wanted to let you continue to be happy without the added stress of what was going on with him but he was the only one hurting you now. 

 She said, you're always gone. I said, The fuck do you expect from me? 

 "I didn't mean to hurt you or betray you. I wasn't thinking. I just, I needed to just get away from everything and we kept getting in fights over how distant I became with you. You kept getting mad at me, telling me I was always gone and I got pissed because it was true. I knew I wasn't giving you the attention you deserved. I was neglecting you and I felt like shit. I was tired of fights at the club and I was tired of fights with you. I got drunk and I fucked up. She caught me at a weak moment. She knew I was in a bad place and she gave me that opportunity to completely take my mind off of everything and I'm a fucking idiot so I took it. She kept trying and I caved." 

 I swear my intentions aren't as evil as you think But temptation's always pushing people to the brink Fuck, I always lose my judgment when I drink My only wish is you would settle down and hear me out I know I haven't been completely honest and devout It's difficult for me, these girls try to seek me out 

 You sniffled again as you felt your eyes welling up once more. You didn't know what you were going to do and it scared you. It scared you to think of having to think of a life that didn't have him in it. But could you live with the nagging at the back of your mind from the betrayal? Could you live with that little voice constantly telling you that you weren't enough and that's why he'd actually strayed? That even with you giving him everything, giving him all of you, giving him your best, that it just wasn't enough? That you at your best wasn't enough? 

 With a shake of your head, you willed your tears back and blew out a breath, running your fingers through your hair and pushing it out of your face.

 "I just need to sleep Juice. I'm really hurting right now. I don't wanna think about this anymore." 

 Your voice cracked as you finished and Juice closed his eyes, hating the sheer pain in your tone.

 "Can I stay here tonight? Please? Just give me tonight with you. Then tomorrow you can do whatever is best for you. We can talk tomorrow. I just don't want you to be alone tonight. Let me try to comfort you. I never meant to hurt you." 

 His voice quivered as he thought about all the pain that was swimming in your eyes and he felt like he could hear that warm heart of gold you had, crumbling from what he'd done to you. You nodded softly and he crawled his way to his side of the bed, climbing beneath the covers with you, pulling you to him closely. He held your head to his chest, his other arms wrapped around you tightly, almost as if he was scared that you'd leave him in the middle of the night and if he was being honest, he was. He didn't want to ever have to let you go. In that moment, he spilled out everything to you. Told you every single little detail, in hopes that maybe, just maybe, you would see where he had been. Maybe see what a wreck he was and even though he knew he didn't deserve it, you would grant him another chance. Another chance to be the man that you deserved. The man that his mother had raised him to be. 

 You laid there quietly as he bared his soul. Listened as he told you what he had been through. He didn't mention what he did that night in the forest, he would never hurt you even more by telling you that. He would take that to the grave, but everything else he let come to the surface and when he was done, he pulled your face up by the chin, laying the most gentle kiss you'd felt upon your lips. It was slow, drawn out as if he didn't want to stop, because he didn't. It felt as if time had stopped and the universe had given you a chance to feel his love. He pulled his lips from yours, the tears in your lashes glittering in the moonlight that cascaded through the curtains and onto your face, almost as if the moon herself was reaching out to soothe you. As he looked down at you, he tried to memorize every single detail of your face, just in case it was the last time he ever saw it. 

 So if tonight turns out to be The last night before you peaced then walked out on me Let's let it all hang out like a balcony One last time, the best is what you about to see So make it worth it tonight, only so you know I never hurt you in spite Love me like you never will again, it's our last time Tonight forget about the pastime 

 You cuddled into his chest, the both of you lost. 

 "I don't know if I can stay Juice. I love you, but i don’t know." 

 He nodded in understanding, leaning to kiss the top of your head. 

 "I know baby. Just sleep. Tomorrow we'll see." 

 You let your eyes slip closed and let Juice hold you for all that he was worth. His happiness was something long forgotten, lost in the sweep of fate from his wrong doings, but yours was still there. Weak and tattered, but there. He'd do everything he could to make sure that light in your eyes never died out.

 Everything will be alright So baby get some sleep tonight

[everylittlechef]

Tired & Inspired - Day One

We pulled up in the tired red rascal to our holiday destination just before midnight on Monday evening in Flushing near Falmouth. My dad was stood outside with a glass of ale half empty dancing at the doorstep just incase we couldn’t identify the location of the house. I’ve been to this holiday house once before when I was about six years old in 1992. Back then we stopped at the (not there now) Little Chef in Gordano. This time though we visited TWENTY TWO Little Chefs en route and covered approx 800 miles. Since arriving on Monday night we have been tired. Very tired. We spent our first day off walking by the Cornish coastal line, sipping beer and sleeping. After a long time sitting in the van extremely sober, listening to long wave radio and too much cricket, digesting all day Olympic breakfasts and slurping take away Little Chef Cappuccinos as we travelled between branches, it now feels really good to be outside digesting beer & salty sea air far away from the A roads. But as relaxing as this is, the Little Chef trail is compelling for reasons we still aren’t sure about. Our musing and amusing mission is taking up lots of conversation with our family in Cornwall as we reflect on previous family holidays driving from North Derbyshire down South, always stopping at a Little Chef en route. My fave thing was the ‘Build Your Own Breakfast’ on the kids menu and the red and white American style diner was a strangely safe place for a fussy vegetarian family of four. I could tailor pick a plate of beige just the way I liked it (and because the journey along A roads towards the motorway in a crammed Citroen car overfilled with travel sweets, arguments, a selection of road maps, a dog, and a bike rack brimming with trikes and body boards as the sounds of my annoying times table cassette tape wafted through the stereo, this meant the holiday had officially started) and also meant the deep fried bread and corrugated lollies before 10am were overlooked and approved. The holiday has begun!

This is the story of how our journey on Sunday 30th & Monday 31st July 2017 has gone so far…

Day One: Sunday 30th July

Owen did most of the driving. I was navigator. When we pulled up to each Little Chef branch we’d both jump out like eager press puppies. Whilst Owen was photographing, I’d take notes on each branch, usually pop inside to purchase something and then get Google Maps on my phone set up to guide us to the next stop. Before we moved on it was my job to update our black board (which was stuck to the back window) with how many Little Chefs we had visited so far.

First Stop : A1 North Newcastle Branch

This was were we ate breakfast and met Debbie. We had quite a lengthy chat with her in-between serving other customers. I’ve paraphrased some of the things she said to us  whilst taking our order & serving Owen’s lucky egg, then making sure we left her branch with plates of information, Little Chef lollies, bright red draw string book bags and fruit of the loom 9-11 year old ‘Little Chef’ branded T’s…

“People don’t wanna pay £15 per head for a meal during a car journey”.

“Most of the sites will be bulldozed down, it’s cheaper to start again”.

“We do better as a sister site. All of the ones joined to Burger King do better”.

When she told us we had better be quick because thirty stand alone stores closed that night she proceeded to speculate. We’ve learnt on this journey that there is no active Little Chef Head office. Owen & I have tried to contact them several times over the last eighteen months, not for financial support but to get up to date information on the last remaining stores and for more facts to fuel our growing fire of intrigue. We’ve left voicemails and emails to sit on answering machines and inside mailboxes ignored and un replied to. Debbie told us that she worked at this branch of Little Chef 15 years ago and again more recently. The branch has changed a lot in the fifteen year gap. She isn’t surprised the Little Chefs are declining and thinks road travel has changed a lot over the years. She expects her branch to become a Greggs or Starbucks and was surprisingly kind of fine with it. She’s heard that there is a sign on the Motorway near London saying ‘Little Chef Opening in 2018’ which is causing a lot of speculation between branches who haven’t been passed on any info apart from that the Little Chef company will close before the year is out and their jobs will change to the new venture whatever it may be. As we sped off hoping catch come of the closing Little Chefs our minds were spinning with questions from our discussion with Debbie; Will Little Chef re-open? Will they re-launch? Is there a princess who lives abroad planning great things with the Little Chef brand? What about Euro Garages? Where will the old time regulars go for their Olympic Breakfasts?

Second Stop : A69 towards Carlisle

This was where I purchased a take away Cappuccino and the staff were bemused. There was one customer inside enjoying a fry up.

Third Stop: A66 Penrith

From the larks of the night before I was thirsty, dehydrated from my coffee and was now craving some fizzy pop so I ran inside the Little Chef (adjoined with a Burger King) and grabbed a Sprite from the Little Chef counter to take away. The lady behind the desk had lovely turquoise hair, was called Cat and was super smiley, friendly and interested to know what we were doing. She asked the same question lots of people have: ‘Why Little Chef?’ and our answer is developing each time from ‘it’s just a photography project’ and ‘why not’ or ‘we’re not really sure ourselves’ to ‘well it’s just a piece of British history isn’t it and someone should document it before it goes’. Cat called through to her manager Keith to tell him what we were doing and the pair were more than happy to pose outside the their branch for a picture. Keith was proud and eager to tell us ‘We’re just as busy as Burger King!’ and I believe him. The staff were lovely, the restaurant was clean and welcoming and you could see the team got along well bringing their own vibe to the place. We were sad to cut the convo short but sped off to our next stop.

Between the drives our ears were popping as Owen noted we were 1000 feet up. It felt like we were flying through mountains.

Fourth Stop: A59 Skipton

Keith told us this branch closed at 2pm but perhaps that was on a week day, for when we arrived it was still open, but pouring with rain. Owen had to take the photo by standing under the canopy of the open van boot and try to avoid the relentless downpour of rain ruining his kit. I was desperate for the loo and ran in to use it. They were grotty and ran down but I still felt obliged to buy something so I ordered us both a tea. We were sad they came in Burger King cups instead of Little Chef ones.

During the drive between Skipton and York the rain continued, cleared, continued, cleared…. as we drove through the winding Yorkshire Moors.

Fifth Stop: A64 York

We started to feel sad we only had five ticked off and enthusiasm was fading. The branch was fresh looking which Owen didn’t like, although I thought it was quite smart, but either way it was still joined to another Burger King. We pulled outside, took a quick snap and our eagerness for going inside to purchase something or anything and chatting with the staff and their speculations was fading, as we began to feel daunted by the task ahead. A lady exercising her dog along the side of the A64 didn’t take her eyes off us as she circled the grass surrounding us. It made us feel weird and as soon as Owen got the picture of the York branch we sped off. Pressured more by the fact we had so many Little Chefs to visit than the staring lady and her tiny hound.

As we drove away our mood lifted as the rain cleared and we constantly seemed to be driving towards two mythical pots of gold at the bottom of a vibrant and clear double rainbow. Something to remind us we were lucky eggs!

Sixth Stop: A1 North Doncaster

This Little Chef looked large but it was probably just the modern style building with glass windows making it feel larger than it was. It had the same new contemporary feel to it as the previous one and it looked busy inside. We quickly took a snap and got back on the trail. It was getting dark.

Seventh Stop: A1 South Worksop

We had to come off the A1 and reverse direction to get into the Little Chef. This is something we had to do quite a lot on the A roads and it was becoming irritating knowing we had to spend minutes driving in the wrong direction to get off and return in the right direction, then quite often turning round after we’d taken the shot to go back on ourselves once more to get to the next destination. As it got later and darker it was getting more and more annoying. Luckily en route to this one we passed the famous(ish) architectural listed roof building that used to be a Little Chef/Travelodge and Owen insisted we pull into a pub car park so he could jump across the fences and through two fields in the pitch black to get a shot of the derelict building which has yet to be turned into a Starbucks of Greggs. I stayed in the van and locked the doors. It was getting late and a little bit of me expected to hear a farmers gunshot. I didn’t of course and Owen returned over the fences with some snaps and was buzzing. Then we went on to the South Worksop branch, which was joined to a Travel Lodge, got a quick photo (it was closed for the evening) and drove onwards…

Eighth Stop: A46 South Lincoln

It was really dark now and starting to rain again. We parked over the top of a puddle. Owen seemed to take ages faffing for the right shot. We could see people sat inside the Little Chef but on closer inspection they were eating Burger King from the adjoining chain and the lights above the Little Chef counter were firmly off. We were both flagging, looking forward to a beer before bed and hoping we could find a roadside hotel with a bar.

Ninth Stop: A17 Sleaford

Another closed for the night Little Chef shot in the dark with our tired sleepy crumpet faces loosing enthusiasm. To add the icing onto our stale cake faces we just discovered there are two more restaurants we hadn’t plotted on our original route and add the two branches onto our map below Grantham. The light is perfect for taking photos. It’s nearly 10.30pm. We need to find a hotel sooner than anticipated.

Tenth Stop: A1 South Grantham

This branch looked great from the outside. Even more great because it was paired with a Travelodge. We took a super quick snap of the Little Chef, then headed into the lodge to book a £45 bed for the night, without breakfast. There was no hotel bar but a Spar Shop in the Shell Garage we hoped would stock beer. Unfortunately it was a dry store ran by a chap called Trevor who wanted to tell us more about his hours of work that week in the Esso/Spar Garage/Shop than our tired ears had the patience to listen to. We made our excuses to leave quickly. Our dinner that night wasn’t at Little Chef but a packet of pretzel pieces, a grab sized bag of pickled onion monster munch, washed down with a mug of typhoo tea with long life milk from the hotel room. Our heads heavily hit the pillows around 11.30pm and just before we fell asleep we laughed and repeated ‘what the bloody hell are we doing?’ and ‘this is ridiculous, what if the Little Chef trail kills us? What a way to go!’

Monday 31st July coming shortly, with twelve more Little Chef stops between Grantham & Cornwall.