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shadowscans · 4 years ago

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Translation of natalie.mu's Interview with Soumatou

Source: https://natalie.mu/comic/pp/shadowshouse03

With the TV anime “Shadows House” starting its broadcast on the 10th of April, Comic Natalie is running a special feature on the work. In this third installment of the series, the original author Soumatou makes their long-awaited appearance. Here, we are given the chance to hear them talk about the behind the scene of the production, the sense of speed that comes from the short amount of time between the adaptation decision and the broadcast, the background behind the creation of the original work where the characters have no face and whose expressions cannot be seen, as well as the story behind the creation of the 2-person unit Soumatou, with Nori in charge of design, and Hisshi in charge of drawing. It should be noted that in this interview, they are answering not as Nori and Hisshi but as Soumatou.

“It’s probably a work that’s hard to adapt into anime”

──Soumatou-san, when did you hear of the anime adaptation?

In 2019, about 50 chapters were made free to read online, and amidst the great response, we learned that the anime adaptation was greenlit.

── Making something open to the public has such an effect, huh?

When “Shadows House” started, it was a relatively subdued serialization. With the chapters being made free to read, people started sharing their thoughts through various means like Twitter, and the paper volumes were selling out. In regards to the public release, back when the person in charge proposed the idea, we approved of it since our impression was that “If not many people were reading it anyways, then let’s just give that a try.” Therefore, in the midst of all that, when we heard of the anime adaptation, we were very surprised. “Is there such a thing?” Because production starts immediately after the decision, it was very speedy.

──With how short the time period is between the decision and the start of broadcast, it doesn’t seem like you have much time to rejoice huh (laugh).

We were happy at the time of the decision of course, but apart from that, “It’s probably a work that’s hard to adapt into anime” was what we thought. In the first place, we’re the type that only believe in something we can see, so it didn’t really sink in for us. We were thinking something like “This project might not even fall through” (laugh). That is why ever since the anime adaptation was publicly announced, the feeling of joy finally sinked in.

──Soumatou-san, in what ways were you involved with the anime?

We supervised roughly all the main processes. When the anime adaptation was greenlit, since the person in charge advised me that “If you will be involved, then be involved with everything. If you won’t be involved, then don’t be involved with anything at all,” we thought “If it’s going to be like that, then we will do as much as we can.” However, the supervision of the script was quite hefty, and having to do that concurrently with the serialization was rather physically difficult.

──I had the chance to watch the first episode, and the thing that surprised me was the original development related to Emilyko’s establishment. Was it difficult to supervise these parts?

We had thought to draw that in the original work, though we decided not to since we thought it wasn’t particularly important. That was just a story from the original work which was added on. However, what was difficult were the adjustments made based on the decision at the script meeting to also depict elements or episodes which are not yet revealed in the original work. We have to think two steps ahead of the current plot of the ongoing serialization, then we have to put in stories or elements that would put us closer to that in the anime. It was a maddening task (laugh).

──If that’s the case, then it seems like it would be fun to compare the original work with the anime huh. Even though it’s difficult, was it refreshing to work on the anime?

Yes. Since we didn’t know anything about anime, or rather, we had no production know-how, so at first, we had no idea how everything would progress. To begin with, we gave them the material created for the serialization. Because we have already created a vast amount of material like the building’s 3D layout, it was easy to say “This is what the layout looks like.” In addition, even though the creation of the colored edition was intended for overseas readers, that material seemed to have been of use for the creation of the colors in the anime. In that sense, there might have been little materials that must be created when it comes to adapting it into an anime.

Supervising as far as the way soot is emitted and the movement of the Clingers

──Soumatou-san, what kind of impression did you have when you saw the anime?

We were amazed by how much more profound the atmosphere was than what we expected. We knew the character’s line drawing and the colors that go on them since we supervised it, but we can’t visualize the final image with just that. However, when we saw the processed recording with the background attached, we felt it was close to the impression of the original work.

──How about the directing?

Expressions that aren’t possible in the manga, such as the movement of the soot, Emilyko rolling on the ground or the inclusion of the song that the Living Dolls sang to themselves, left me with a strong impression.

──As for the soot, I was convinced that it would move like that. Was that also supervised by you?

As for the soot and the clingers, we were shown a few patterns, then we fine-tuned it from there.

──By the way, what kinds of patterns were there?

As for the soot, there was a difference in how it was emitted, be it softly or firmly. For the clingers, there was a difference in the movement, like whether it would move slowly like a cockroach or quickly. Such were the patterns that were there. We did quite a bit of trial and error.

Only the voice actors for Kate and Emilyko were entirely decided by others

──Did you go to the dubbing location?

We only visited for the first time to say hello. The voice actors went through the performance about 3 times. As we listened to the anime staff's directions without giving any input ourselves, we felt it fit our image. On the other hand, when the voice actors were asked by the director “Is there any part you want to re-record at the end?,” they responded with things like “I want to re-record this part” or “would this part be better like this instead,” one after another amending it. It was also the first time we observed a dubbing session, so we were very impressed.

──Well then, did Soumatou-san have any particular request?

There were one or two scenes where we thought “This doesn’t seem to come through, so we want it like this,” and asked them to redo the intonation. However, because anime has a fixed length, I felt that it was better to leave it to the director to draw out the best performance within that time limit. The rest of the time, it was alright for us to really just watch.

──That’s roughly how I imagined it to be. Well, then, please tell us about the impression you got from the main characters. First , how were Kate’s by Kitou Akira-san and Emilyko’s Sasahara Yuu-san?

The rough images of Kate and Emilyko’s voices in our own heads were just “calm” and “cheerful.” That’s why we were able to express our wishes after the audition for the other characters. However, just for these two, we only said, “Please use the person that fits the best'' and left it for others to decide (laugh). When we heard the audition, our impression was that Sasahara-san would fit Kate’s voice, and Kitou-san would fit Emilyko’s voice. However, when we looked at the results, it turned out to be the other way around. There are differences between the performance they did at the audition and at the start of the dubbing, though now we felt that this way was definitely more fitting.

──The other shadow and living doll pairs are played by one person each. What was your impression when you heard of that?

We stated in the original work that the shadows and living dolls have different voices. However, for the anime, when the idea to have the same person performing the roles was proposed, we told them that “we are looking forward to the voice actors doing their best.” The voices are altered based on vocal ranges, and I think the end result is that you will be able to enjoy the voice actors’ varied performances.

──Currently, the cast for four sets of characters has been announced. Please tell us your impressions about each of them.

Sakai Koudai-san’s duet between the hearty, easily carried away John and the cool-headed Shaun is very amusing. Both characters sound good, and their voices are cute. As for Sakura Ayane-san, she was able to portray the very different atmospheres between the lively Louise and the calm Lou.

──Those two consist of clearly different characters so it might be easy to work with, but I felt that the remaining two seem difficult.

Indeed. Kawashima Reiji-san has to play Patrick and Ricky - two characters whose voices and personalities are quite similar, so we thought it was quite a hard role. However, he was able to perform the roles with the understanding of the fine differences in the character of the two. For Shimoji Shino-san who plays the role of Shirley and Ram, there is a lot of dialogue with the imaginary friend, and she has to portray a different image than that of others. She said that “It’s a type of character that I have never played before,” but her voice fitted perfectly.

The pair’s 20-year relationship

──Well then, let’s move from “Shadows House” and let's hear about you Soumatou san, and your past works. You two work together as a pair, but when did you get to know each other?

We have known each other since when we were students, so it is already a roughly 20-year relationship.

──Why did you two start making manga together?

When Hisshi stopped submitting to manga awards, they no longer drew their own manga and ended up settling down as an assistant. I thought that this was a waste of potential, so when I quit my own job, I told Hisshi that I would write my own stories and asked Hisshi to draw them.

──Afterwards, you seemed to have created doujinshi for a while huh.

Yes. Because Nori normally doesn’t read manga and had not created a manga before, we thought to make a lot of them and send them to publishers. Since around 2008, we made a few and showed them at exhibitions. Afterwards, we were able to thankfully get in touch with Shueisha.

──It sure is amazing that you called out and said that you would “make your own story” even though you had no prior experience. Nori-san, what is it about the manga that Hisshi-san made that drew you in?

The composition is very skillful. To phrase it slightly poorly, even if the story is not that interesting, the skillful composition has the power to make you read from beginning to end. That is why Hisshi was able to receive rewards from various magazines.

──I see.

However, since I’m the type to make a manga from whatever episode or idea I want to draw, I have a good grasp on it, but I’m bad at putting things in order over a long span of time. I can draw one-offs, but they did not lead to serialization at all. It seemed like I was slowly running out of things I wanted to draw.

──How do you two divide the work for making the manga? For example, please teach us the making of a single chapter of “Shadows House.”

Firstly, Nori describes the entire course of events, then after bouncing the ideas off of Hisshi, it’s all put together into the plot. With that as the base, Hisshi makes the mini storyboards, which Nori then uses in the briefing session with the editor. Afterwards, Hisshi draws up the real storyboards, and after another meeting with the editor, we head to the rough draft. Hisshi checks that rough draft, then we work on things like new characters, backgrounds, minor characters and the frontispiece’s design. Then, Hisshi inks a pen sketch while Nori does assistant work around the characters. Finally, Hisshi puts the finishing touches and the manuscript is complete. Also, Nori makes the final adjustments to the dialogue right before submission.

──You sure communicate in great detail.

We think we go back and forth more than others whose original works and drawings are separated. Furthermore, we also consult each other when we come to a standstill in our work.

Both “Kuro” and “Girigiri out” have the same ingredients

──Well then let’s return to “Shadows House”, please tell us how and from where you got the idea for the work.

I was staring at a mannequin at a clothing store when the idea suddenly flashed in my mind. The rest is a mishmash of things such as Hisshi’s specialty of clothes and backgrounds, as well as our shared interest in buildings and everyday life in a strange setting.

──Even if you have come up with the idea, it must take courage to make the main characters pitch black, right?

Mangaka are tasked with doing works like drawing facial expressions, though we wondered whether it was possible to present emotions without facial expressions in “Shadows House.” Nori simply thought that “It can be done in novels, so it should be possible in manga too,” and Hisshi hates drawing characters’ faces (laugh). Hisshi even says that “I just want to draw clothes and backgrounds” all the time. Of course Hisshi tries to draw the characters cutely, but that’s without a spontaneous desire to do so.

──That’s surprising to hear, since in your previous work “Girigiri out”, the charm of the beautiful heroine is pushed to the forefront.

Originally Nori was a graphic designer, and Hisshi was a Mangaka’s assistant, so it was deeply ingrained in us to accede to others’ demands. There wasn’t anything that we could say “We want to draw that!” about as Soumatou. Because of that, basically, we are the type to start by fumbling at themes and genres that the editor has an interest in. From there, we come up with various things, and the engine gradually starts. Moreover, at the serialization meeting, among the three works we submitted, “Girigiri Out” was a discarded idea to give the impression that we were trying our best. We thought that if we submitted three works at the serialization meeting then it could look as if we’re trying our best (laugh). Since we didn’t think of anything aside from the 3 chapters submitted at the meeting, when the time came for the serialization, we were worried about what to draw from there.

──”Girigiri Out” is about a situation surrounding a girl who wets herself when she’s nervous, and a boy with the power to suppress someone’s urge to urinate through touch. Even though you have only thought of 3 chapters, during the serialization, you drew quite a few variations on wetting oneself huh.

Generally speaking, we were motivated to make every chapter a different situation (laugh).

──Furthermore, among your previous works, “Kuro” has parts that felt connected to “Shadows House”, but “Girigiri Out”’s style was surprising. I understand now that it’s a story that started from fumbling about with themes and genres of interest to the editor.

However, maybe it’s hard to notice, but the themes drawn in “Kuro” and “Girigiri Out” have quite a bit in common. Everyday life in a strange setting, strange characters that are not people, restlessness, action, surreal jokes, familial love, release from trauma, folk beliefs… the packaging is different, but “Shadows House” also has roughly those same ingredients.

We want to do a gag manga next, but it might be difficult?

──Please let us hear a bit more about “Shadows House.” The story was carefully foreshadowed from the beginning, but just how far ahead did you plan at the start of the serialization?

Since the beginning we have faintly thought about what happens very far ahead into the future, and from there we flesh it out. However, we don’t know how long each part will take if we haven’t drawn it, and parts do change due to the characters’ relationships. For example, at first we had planned for the Debut to end in about 3 chapters.

──In reality it took a volume and a half. That sure is a big change.

We have a bad habit of putting off thinking about the minute details.

──The garden in the Debut also had such a complicated map that I didn’t think it was planned to end in just 3 chapters.

The person in charge is someone who likes exciting and shounen-like things, so we were told that “If I go to the garden then I want a map of the garden.” Though, since we haven’t thought of anything, we spent the next day making a map of the garden as well as all of the gimmicks (laugh). We feel like without that, the story would have been aimless, so we appreciate the advice.

──It certainly has an exciting adventurous feel to it, so the Debut looks like something that would shine in an anime huh. By the way, when I was reading “Shadows House,” the thing that surprised me the most was how screentone was not used at all. I’m sorry that it’s a simple question, but isn’t that quite difficult?

It normally is difficult (laugh). Originally, for a drawing method that suits the work, we wanted something that is reminiscent of old printed works. It started when Nori, who was simply bored, lightheartedly suggested that “This time let’s use hatching (Method of filling in space using uniform parallel lines).” It limits the range of expressions, so now we do regret it a little bit.

──I will continue to enjoy your wonderful drawings from now on. Lastly, you mentioned that “there wasn’t anything that you wanted to draw as Soumatou,” but when you finish drawing “Shadows House,” please tell us what genre you want to tackle next.

Let’s see… how about gag manga? We originally started with drawing gag manga, and the works submitted together with “Shadows House” at the serialization meeting also had comedy in them. However, the gag portion was so hard to do that the editor was put off by it. It might be difficult, but it would be nice if we could publish it some day (laugh).

#shadows house #shadow house

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jayeray-hq · 4 years ago

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Sakusa : You Know We’re Meant to Be

JayeRay’s fluff prompts

Post Time Skip/Manga Spoilers!

Warnings: A little but of Hurt/Comfort and bullying but lots of Fluff after

If you like this, please check out the Character Masterlist!

This is part of a collaboration I’m doing with @lilolpotato some fluff to counter some of the hate from the Sakusa Hate Night thing that was going around 😊💖 Also a huge huge thank you to the amazingly talented @yuujiscurse for the banner! Their work is amazing! 😊💖

You weren’t sure if they simply didn’t know you could hear them whispering or if they simply didn’t care, as you stood waiting for your boyfriend to emerge from the locker rooms. Hopefully you wouldn’t have to wait long, Sakusa was usually the first out due to insisting on showering before the others of the team could infect the space with their germs. Still today you hoped he would hurry, even faster than usual, so you could leave the receptionist and the woman she was talking to, likely someone who worked in the building, far behind you.

“What does he even see in her?” the woman who’d greeted you almost every time you’d entered the building with a saccharine smile that was apparently hiding a mouthful of venom whispered to her blond coworker.

“I certainly don’t see anything special,” the other woman, a pretty brunette agreed giving you a clear once over a blatantly dismissive look on her face, “She’s probably absolutely hideous behind that mask she wears all the time.”

Your hands balled into fists in your jacket, as you tried to ignore them, reminding yourself that you wore the mask for a reason. It was for both your comfort, and your boyfriends. Sakusa’s germaphobia was a very real fear, and frankly you didn’t mind doing a few things to accommodate his fear, or make him feel more comfortable where you could, especially since you knew he would and had done the same for you before.

Wearing a mask out in public was a simple thing, and frankly considering the pollution in Japan, not all that uncommon. The women were clearly being deliberately petty and you sank deeper into the jacket burrowing into it, and taking comfort in the familiar smell and feel of it. It was one of Sakusa’s old Itachiyama jackets, one he’d gifted to you when the two of you had first started dating.

It was warm and comfortable, and a blatant reminder of how very much your boyfriend cared about you. After all very few people were allowed to touch his things, and even fewer were given gifts, especially sentimental gifts. Komori had teased the two of you for days when Sakusa had first given it to you, exclaiming every time he saw you wearing it that even he had never been allowed to touch Sakusa’s Itachiyama jackets and he was his cousin.

It smelled like him, clean and crisp from the detergent he preferred to use for all of your clothing, one you’d become quite fond of yourself, and that you associated solely with him. It took your mind off the cruel women in front of you, at least for a little while.

“Can you believe just the other day he dropped his towel on accident, I tried to hand it to him, and he gave me the most disgusted look and just walked away,” the brunette told the receptionist clearly deeply offended by the incident, “As if I were something dirty he’d found on the bottom of his shoe.”

“I’ve tried to give him pens to use before,” the receptionist admitted equally huffy as she explained, “He won’t touch them, not until he disinfects them with a wipe first, and even then he’ll only hold them if he’s wearing gloves.”

You sighed quietly to yourself, a part of you wanting to storm over there and defend your boyfriend and an equal part understanding, just a bit where they were coming from. Sakusa had a fear, one that was very real to him, even if it seemed silly to others, and he had extreme ways of reacting when forced to face that fear. Still even you could admit sometimes his inability to properly interpret social cues could leave him coming off cold, or even cruel even if he didn’t mean to be that way.

“I bet she’s not even his girlfriend,” the spiteful brunette hissed, “Just an obsessed groupie who follows him around.”

“He probably treats her like trash,” the receptionist added in a cruel enjoyment to her unkind speculations, “Which is really no less than she deserves honestly.”

The women were clearly lashing out, and on the only target the had readily available, but that didn’t stop you from feeling hurt or furious on behalf of your boyfriend. How dare they insinuate he treated you badly? The idea was infuriating especially when you knew how very hard he tried for you.

Sure, your relationship wasn’t all smooth sailing, but then what relationship was? Yes, you’d had to exercise a lot of patience as Sakusa slowly worked himself up to touching you, but it had been completely and utterly worth it. The feeling of being held in his arms, knowing he desperately wanted you to be there, so much so that he fought off his worst fears in order to do so was indescribable. You’d honestly never felt as loved as you did when your germophobic boyfriend reached his hand out to you, assuring you that he wanted to be able to touch you.

Even several years in you still couldn’t cuddle without a thorough shower beforehand, and some aspects of physical intimacy, including public displays of affection were especially hard, but it was worth it. You were so proud, both of your boyfriend and how very far the two of you had come as a couple, and it infuriated you that these two women, who knew absolutely nothing of his struggles would dare to insinuate such awful things about him.

Oh, you knew they probably didn’t actually believe them. You’d dealt with jealousy from other women before. Your boyfriend was undeniably incredibly good looking, stunning even, and for some reason a lot of people found his supposedly aloof and cold demeanor cool and enticing. He’d had fans for as long as you’d known him.

Still it didn’t stop you from wanting to march right up to the women and force them to take it back. They could say what they wanted about you, but in no way shape or form would you allow them to badmouth your secretly dorky and completely socially inept boyfriend. Honestly one more word from them and you might’ve done just that, fortunately or unfortunately your furious thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of your boyfriend.

“Hey,” the sound of his voice pulled you from your murderous thoughts and turned your attention to Sakusa who had emerged from the locker rooms at last. His hair was still a little damp from his shower, the dark curls not quite as springy as they usually were as they fell across his forehead, and he was fully zipped into his Black Jackals jacket, hands in his pockets the traditional mask covering half his face, “let’s get going before the others come out.”

“Sure,” you agreed trying to keep your tone as upbeat and normal as possible ready to fall into step with him and head to the store, which was the whole reason you’d agreed to meet him at the Black Jackals usual practice gym in the first place.

However it seemed you hadn’t done a very good job of concealing the lingering upset from overhearing the women’s gossip session. That or your boyfriend was getting better at reading you, though both honestly were possibilities. He stopped in his tracks, forcing you to come to a halt as well, his brows sitting heavily over his dark eyes as he peered at you intently, clear concern visible in them.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice taking on the clipped edge that let you know he was deeply concerned. Apparently, you’d been more obvious than you’d thought.

“Nothing,” you tried to assure him, forcing your tone to be upbeat, not wanting to drag him down, “Why would something be wrong?”

“Don’t lie to me,” he ordered, the words blunt, but the clear care in his tone taking any sting out of them. Honestly he had very little in the way of tact at times like these, something you should probably be annoyed by, but could only find strangely endearing.

“It really is nothing,” you assured him, your own tone softening at his clear concern for you, “Just overheard people gossiping about us again.”

“Were you upset by them?” he asked hesitantly, clearly peering into your eyes, his whole body fidgeting with restless energy, a tension to him that reminded you of a rubber band stretched and ready to snap. For all that many read him as uncaring you knew that Sakusa was extremely protective of the few people he allowed close to him, and that you were one of the privileged few. He was clearly ready and willing to tear verbal strips off anyone who’d dared upset you.

“Yes,” you told him, figuring honesty was probably the best policy at this point, “But only because they were saying untrue things about you, about how you treat me.”

Some of the tension in his shoulders relaxed at that, and his eyes softened. You couldn’t see his mouth because of the mask, but long familiarity let you know the corners would be curling up in relief,. He clearly didn’t care a bit what people said about him, an attitude you wished rather desperately that you could emulate.

“Let them say what they want,” he told you firmly, “It’s not something that bothers me, so don’t let it bother you.”

“If only it were that easy,” you told him your own lips curling into a wry smile.

Your eyes widened in surprise as he pulled one of his hands from his jacket pockets and gently took hold of your face, the warmth of his shockingly bare fingers on your skin making your heart flip over in your chest his thumb gently swiping across your cheekbone rendering you completely and utterly speechless.

“The only opinions about my person that I care about are opinions from people who matter to me,” he told you sincerity dripping from very word, “And the only opinion I care about when it comes to our relationship is yours.”

Your heart was beating a rapid tattoo against your ribs at his fervent declaration, especially since you knew he meant every word. Your boyfriend was nothing if not completely and utterly honest when it came to you, even brutal at times. He was never one who’d spare your feelings, which was how you knew moments like these were as raw and honest as it was possible to be.

“I love you Kiyoomi,” you told him a little helplessly, the words falling out of your mouth before you’d had a chance to really think about them.

“I love you too,” he responded without missing a beat, even if you could see the faintest of pink blushes decorating the tops of his cheekbones over the mask, “And I don’t like seeing you upset. What people say about me doesn’t bother me, so please don’t let it bother you.”

“But wouldn’t you be upset if people were saying things about me?” you pointed out reasonably, well aware he would be, as he’d proven many times over in the past.

He clearly couldn’t think of an argument to that and so instead remained silent, so you continued, “You mean so much to me Kiyoomi and it hurts to hear anyone might think poorly of you or insinuate cruel things about you and how you treat me that are blatantly untrue.”

He watched you with soft eyes, his thumb still gently tracing your cheek as he explained, “So long as those things don’t cause you to doubt me I could care less.”

“Never,” you assured him fervently, “I like to think that by now I know you pretty well Kiyoomi and I don’t think there’s anything ridiculous petty gossipers could to make me doubt you, to doubt us. Despite the fact that we’ve had our challenges I always felt like we fit well together. Like two pieces of a puzzle.”

“I’m glad,” he admitted freely, “I’ve always hoped that you’d felt the way I do.”

“The way you do?” you repeated curiously.

“Like you know you’re meant to be,” he told you the words stealing the breath from your lungs and you were fairly sure you forgot how to breathe entirely as he leaned forward to press a gentle masked kiss to your forehead.

Fortunately, or unfortunately you were pulled from your thoughts by raucous sounds from behind the two of you. It turned out you’d been so wrapped up in your conversation with your boyfriend you hadn’t noticed you were blocking the hallway and keeping the rest of the team as a captive audience of sorts. Apparently the private, intimate moment wasn’t nearly as private as you’d thought, and you were suddenly incredibly grateful the mask helped cover your cherry red cheeks.

Apparently Bokuto was the one who’d interrupted your moment, too moved by it to stay quiet any longer, and now the former Fukurodani Ace was fervently congratulating your poor boyfriend about how smooth he was. Sakusa looked incredibly put upon as the team swept you up with them as they left the building in a small herd, all of them gently teasing or congratulating the two of you on how very cute your relationship was.

In the midst of all the chaos your boyfriend managed to sneak his hand into yours, his fingers twining together to keep you close and connected to him. You accepted the gesture, feeling warm, and secure and completely and utterly loved, enough to shoot the poisonous receptionist and her bitter friend a blinding smile on your way out the door.

Sakusa was right. Their opinions, especially on your relationship, shouldn’t matter to you, at the end of the day you knew he loved you and that was more than enough.

#sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa fluff #love sakusa #sakusa love #sakusa x y/n #sakusa x reader #sakusa x you #sakusa kiyoomi x you #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x y/n #haikyuu!!#haikyu imagines #haikyu fluff #haikyū!!#sakusa oneshot #JayeRayWrites

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dadolorian · 4 years ago

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Seven Days of Valentines, (Diamonds and Daddies side story) Whiskey x F!Reader CH 2

A/N: Thanks to @talesfromtheguild for Beta reading and helping me with many ideas for this! This will be a weekly series leading up to Valentines Day

I try to keep Readers physical appearance as open as possible for this story, but please note in these chapters shes going to become more of a ‘character’, some specific interests of hers are going to come into play.

This is canon to the main Diamonds and Daddies story, but i am uploading as its own thing. You do not need to have read Diamonds and Daddies to read this, just know its a fic about Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels being a Sugar Daddy and the reader is a professional Sugar Baby.

Fandom: Kingsman the golden circle Ship: Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels x Cis F!reader Warning/tags: established relationship, fluff, semi-public sex, sex against a window, P in V sex, fingering, Oral (M and F receiving) , multiple orgasms, slight over stimulation, dirty talk, choking, Daddy kink, DD/LG/BDSM style relationship, creampie,biting/marking, possessive language, aftercare, Jacks both a gentleman and a DIRTY BASTARD, Reader is 100% into it all

Word count: 6K +

My master list Seven days of Valentines masterlist AO3 LINK Buy me a Kofi

Summary: Whiskey whisks his Sugar baby away for a romantic Valentine’s getaway. Day two he takes her to see her favorite work of art.

Tuesday 9th of February

The second morning in Rome started with an early morning makeout session, soft, gentle kisses roused you from sleep, followed by a shower and a traditional Italian breakfast delivered to your suite as the two of you sat watching people make their way to the coliseum.

The coffee and crespelles were a perfect way to start the day, made all the more better by Jack’s large hand resting on your thigh, drawing gentle patterns with his thumb as you each sipped your mugs in comfortable silence.

By eight thirty AM the two of you were dressed in your warm clothes and out the door, ready to partake in whatever adventure Jack had planned.

You sat literally on the edge of your seat in excitement as you were driven around Rome to our destination for the day. Jack warmly chuckled beside you at your boundless enthusiasm, smiling wider to himself as you began snapping pictures along the way of the general beauty that was Rome.

Once you were dropped off Jack took your hand in his, leading the way up the road and round the corner. You practically hummed in excitement beside him, bouncing in glee as the large walls of Vatican City loomed over you.

“Jaaaacccckkkk!” you squealed delightedly, as he led you to the back of a growing queue. “Are we going where I think we’re going?”

He chuckled at your excitement again. “Couldn't take my girl to Rome without letting her see her favorite work of art could I?”

You bounced in place, trying to express your excitement and gratitude in any articulate way you could, you cupped his face and pulled him down for an expressive kiss on his cheek.

“You have no idea how excited I am Jack!” You elated, almost jumping for joy beside him.

He tried to calm you down and keep you still by resting his hands on your hips, pulling you to his front in a gentle embrace.

“I have a fair idea Sugar,” he hummed, kissing your brow affectionately. “I remember when you mentioned wanting to visit Rome, on our New Year's trip, just a passing comment, but your eyes lit up when you mentioned the Sistine Chapel, I just knew I had to take you one day Darlin.”

Your hands rested lightly on his chest, with your gaze cast down you smiled, tenderly remembering the brief exchange you had shared months prior. At the time you never took much note of your conversation, having forgotten all about it until Jack had surprised you with this trip, but clearly Jack had taken notice, and went through great pains to make your wish you had barely ever shared before a reality.

You had lost count of the amount of times he proved himself of how utterly perfect he was for you was incalculable.

He amazed you every day, outdoing himself with each little surprise or adoring words, each grand gesture or gentle peck, each casual touch or passionate kiss.

Jack Daniels, as cocky, ridiculous, and flirtatious as he was, was everything you had ever hoped for.

“I wish I knew, just how to show my gratitude to you Jack,” you whispered softly to him.

He gently pulled your gaze back up to meet his.

“Darlin, you don’t need to do anything other than stay with me. You’ve made this lonely heart feel something again for the first time in years, and that's more than enough for me.”

Your lower lip wobbled and your eyes threatened to spill, Jack preemptively stopped your sappy tears from spilling with a gentle kiss to your lips.

“Come on Darlin, lines moving.”

Jack walked arm in arm with you throughout the whole tour of Vatican city, your gaze was often fixed to the beautiful architecture or paintings, but everytime you glanced over at Jack, his eyes were fixed on you. You had his whole attention, not the paintings, not the tour guide, you.

“Jack?” You asked softly, concerned he was only humoring you and didn't actually care about anything you were seeing. “Aren't you interested in all this?”

“Oh I am Darlin,” he reassured. “But I love watching the way your eyes light up, better than any painting here.”

“You’re just trying to butter me up Cowboy,” you smiled up at him.

“Can’t help it Sugar, pretty thing like you on my arm? Who can blame me?”

“You flatter me Jack, You’ve been sweet talking me from the moment we met, I don't even think you would know how to stop,” you teased.

He chuckled and kissed your cheek.

“No Darlin, I don't think I would know how to either.”

It was impossible to express just how fantastical it felt to see some of the famous pieces found in the Vatican museum, Raphael’s ‘Transfiguration’, The statue of Laocoön and his sons, The Vision of St. Helen , Da Vinci's St. Jerome in Wilderness, masterpieces you had only ever seen photos of on the internet or in your meager collection of art History books. Completely indescribable. But these experiences paled in comparison to seeing Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam, photos could not compare to how breathtaking it was. It loomed above you, alongside dozens of other High Renaissance masterpieces, but your eyes were pulled back to that one each time.

You imagined Michelangelo, centuries ago, in his genius, laying on his back atop the precarious scaffolding as he painted it, how grueling it was, how long it took.

You never thought you would ever see it, not in person, it had been such a fantasy to you you had never really mentioned it before until Jack had asked you those months ago.

Daddies had taken you on vacations before, trips to sunny beaches and tropical getaways, when they wanted to impress you and have you show some skin, but not once had they ever asked you where you wanted to go, what you wanted to see.

There had been no desire to share your interests, to take you to experience culture and art over bikinis and parties. Jack had been right, you had been with some shit Daddies before you met him.

The picturesque beaches and clear oceans may have been pretty to look at, but it couldn't hold a candle to the beauty above you.

Standing there, with your neck strained up at the ceiling, your eyes began to water for the umpteenth time since you had landed in Italy, but you willed them away this time, focusing on the painting to burn the experience into your memory and refusing to let the tears fog your vision as emotions overwhelmed you once again.

“Baby?” Jack’s soft voice cut in, his arms wrapped around your middle as he came up behind you, kissing your forehead. “You good?”

“Perfect, Jack,” you whispered back, giving your neck a break by resting the back of your head on him.

“Everything you ever dreamed about?” He asked, following your gaze to the painting.

“Better,” you sighed, squeezing his arms around you.

You clung to Jack’s arm as you made your way out of Vatican city and back to the streets of Rome. He patted your hand affectionately, placing a kiss to your temple.

You had been so...so... moved, by Jack's surprise, by the artworks, by the experience and you knew you couldn’t express it to him. And you knew he knew.

You were beginning to understand the magnitude of his affections, he wasn’t just trying to impress you, to show off and boost his ego like many men before him.

No, Jack's masculinity wasn’t so fragile that he had to prove himself like that, he may flash his money for you, to buy you trinkets and clothes just as they all had before, but the way he went about it was so different.

Stuff wasn’t what he relied on to keep you with him, no, he kept you by his side by paying attention, by caring about you, for you.

He wanted to make you happy, truly, and he expected nothing from you in return apart from your companionship.

His words from earlier in the day were really starting to strike a chord with you.

“You’ve made this lonely heart feel something again for the first time in years.”

You looked up at him from the corner of your eye as he led you through the streets. He seems to know where he wanted to go, and you trusted him not to get you lost.

“Jack,” you whispered softly. “I-”

“Don’t need to say a thing Baby,” he interrupted. “I know.”

“But, I-” you sighed. “How?”

“How do I know?” he asked, amused. “Baby you thank me every damn time I do something for you, no matter how big or small, I've picked up on a few things. I can tell when you’re struggling to figure out how to thank me.”

He stopped in his tracks, guiding you to his front and pulling one of your hands up to his lips to kiss it.

“You tear up when something specially meaningful, those are the times you can’t figure out what to say,” he cupped your face in his large, warm hands. They felt nice against the chill that had clung to your cheeks. “But you don’t need to say anything Sugar, I can tell just by lookin at’cha you’re grateful. It made you happy, that's all I wanted. I don’t need a ‘thank you’, I just need you.”

Your lip wobbled and you pouted up at him, making him chuckle.

“See? Just like that, and I get yer waterworks running,” he teased, thumb wiping a tear that was threatening to spill.

You rolled your eyes and swatted his chest playfully.

“None of that Darlin” he laughed, ducking his head to kiss you. “My Baby gets all sappy for Daddy’s sweet words huh?”

“Don’t get cocky,” you giggled, trying to duck from him gleefully.

“Thought you liked me ‘cocky’,” he joked as you turned and tried to walk off, pulling you back into his grip, back flush against his front. “Specially when it’s inside-”

“Jack! People are watching!” you laughed, swatting at him over your shoulder, grateful at least your conversation wasn't too loud and probably not understood by the locals who rolled their eyes at the childish tourists as they passed.

He laughed merrily, letting you go and gently taking your hand.

“Such a killjoy,” he joked, leading the two of you again. “Come on then Sugar, lets get some lunch.”

Lunch turned out to be in this adorable local cafe hidden down many sidestreets.

Jack told him a work colleague told him about the hidden gem, unknown to most tourists, and had made a point to bring you there.

You sat inside, safe from the bitter cold as you sipped your hot drinks and shared croissants and muffins.

Silence passes between you, as you watch from your window the small trickle of locals walk by, trudging through the remaining snow slush, on their way to wherever it was they were going. It was a perfect way to relax after your tour, Jack told you to enjoy it while it lasted, because he had one more surprise for the day.

Jack’s second surprise was a tour of Castel sant'angelo.

It was originally built as a mausoleum, over the centuries it became a fortress and castle, in modern times, it had become a museum.

“Two museum tours in one day?” You asked, humming as the two of you walked over the beautifully sculpted bridge leading up to the impressive building hand in hand.

“Well with it being so close to the Vatican, I thought ‘Why not?’ , and I know how much my Baby appreciates her art and history,” he smiled.

Taking his words from earlier to hear, you thanked him with just a kiss on the cheek.

Jack insisted the two of you could walk back to your hotel by the time you were kicked out of the castle at closing time.

‘Just a forty minute walk’ he promised.

You pouted at him, shaking your head no.

“My feet are killing me Jack,” you whined.

“Won't it be romantic though Baby?” He asked, trying to convince you.“Walking through the streets of Rome at night? Just the two of us?”

It did sound nice, in theory, but the sky was clouded over, your feet hurt, the ground was covered in slush and it was starting to seep into your supposedly waterproof boots.

“My toes are going numb and it’s freezing Jack!”

“But Baby-”

“Daddy,” you sniveled, trying to appeal to his dominant, caring role over you. You wrapped your arms around yourself to block out the cold as the temperature dropped further. It was bearable in the day, sunlight and warm clothes enough to keep you reasonably warm. But you weren't dressed with the expectation of being outdoors too long, and as the snow began to fall you pulled yourself to his chest, snuggling into his warmth.

“Please Daddy, I don't want to walk like this.”

He sighed and wrapped an arm around you, caving to his instincts to care for you.

“Alright then, let me call a cab Honey Bee,” he relented, pulling out his phone.

You groaned when you made your way into the hotel room, throwing the keycard on the table and collapsing by the door , tearing off your boots and letting your soaked, numb toes free.

Jack chuckled at your dramatic behaviour, not removing any of his gear much to your confusion.

“There’s a few more presents on the bed for you,” he smiled, heat in his eyes and flashing his canines at you as he crouched down in front of you, stroking your cheek. “Want you to go in there and put them on-”

“Jack, my feet are too sore for any heels toni-”

“No heels, Honey Bee,” he said, his tone and use of your moniker a clear warning for you to fall in line. “You’ll like it, I promise. Now go open your presents and get dressed while I go pick up dinner.”

He stood up as you nodded and took his hand when he offered it, helping you up and grabbing the keycard from where you discarded it.

“Be back soon Baby,” he smiled as he opened the door and left.

Alone, you padded into the bedroom, your feet grateful for the plush carpet as you made your way over to the bed.

Laid out across the sheets was a beautiful little pair of pink and black satin sleep shorts, a matching bralette, a cute pair of pink fluffy bunny slippers, and a long fuzzy pink gown. You ran your fingers over the material of them all, amazed at how soft they all were.

Atop your outfit for the night was another folded up note. You picked it up carefully and opened it up, greeted by Jack’s familiar scrawl once again.

“Day two of seven, I know your feet must be real sore today Baby, I hope a relaxing evening with Daddy makes up for it. Get dressed and go pick out a movie out in the livin room for me. Happy Valentine’s Week Sugar, Love Jack”

You softened, reading his words, again as you folded the note back up and began redressing.

The satin felt even smoother as it covered your skin, and the fuzzy robe and slippers helped warm you up after your cold trip back to your suite.

Once dressed you wandered out into the living area, delighted to see the couch covered in soft blankets and pillows, a gift hamper sat on the coffee table containing sweets, a bottle of wine, glasses and some foot lotion. Your heart warmed at the thoughtfulness of it all and how intimately comfortable it was.

As you snuggled under one of the blankets and flicked on the TV, scrolling through movie options you heard the keycard beep and the door unlock.

“Back Darlin!” Jack called from the entranceway , you heard him put something down and head to the bedroom.

He joined you a few minutes later, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants that hung low on his hips and his trademark stetson, carrying a large pizza box.

You smiled and bit your lip, admiring his little tummy that you loved so much.

He placed the box on the coffee table and snuggled under the blanket with you.

“Pick something out Baby?” He asked, one arm over the back of the couch and other hand wandering up your thigh under your robe and resting there.

“I think so,” you hummed, relaxing back into his embrace and warmth, head resting on his shoulder. “Sci-Fi movie by the looks of it.”

“Prospect?” Jack questioned. “Don’t usually sound like our kinda thing Darlin.”

“Yeah, but one of the actors caught my eye in the preview clips,” you giggled. “He looks like you Daddy.”

He quirked his eyebrow at you and gave you a shrug, letting you click play as he pulled the pizza and wine over for you to share.

You almost choked on your pizza when the actor showed up and Jack exclaimed in annoyance that he looked nothing like him.

“What are you talking about?” You laughed. “He could be your twin!”

“I know for a fact my Mamma only gave birth to one Daniels boy thank you very much!” He proclaimed.

You giggled hysterically, curling into him, trying not to knock the pizza box onto the floor.

“He’s just you with more scruff!” You gasped for breath between your laughter. “Listen to him he’s even got a southern accent too!”

“I resent being compared to a scruffy, sweaty, bastard space man who talks so damn weird Darlin!”

You covered your mouth, biting back a sassy comment about the ‘talks weird’ comment and tried to compose yourself.

“How can you not see it?” You asked when you finally calmed down. “The similarities are scary.”

The two of you eventually agreed to disagree as you finished your pizza and wine and moved on to a few after dinner chocolates from the hamper.

Jack rubbed your feet with the lotion as you lay on the couch sideways, easing the tension and soreness from your feet in his lap as the movie went on. You melted to his touch, unwinding from the long day on your feet.

You had taken quite a liking to the southern spaceman with the silver tongue, much to Jack's growing annoyance, he grumbled as you cooed at the man on screen.

But as irritated as he was, he pulled you to his side in comfort as you watched your little crush have his arm amputated, hiding your face in Jack’s chest throughout the difficult scene.

“Poor Ezra,” you murmured when the scene was over.

Jack rolled his eyes and kissed the crown of your head. “I don’t know what you see in him Darlin.”

“He’s your scoundrel, space-cowboy twin Jack. What’s not to like?”

“Think you need your eyes checked Darlin. I might actually be bothered ‘bout your little infatuation if you didn’t insist so damn hard that he looked like me.”

You giggled and settled down again against his bare chest.

“Hmm...”

“What are you hmming about over there?”

“You’d look good with a little blonde patch.”

“Shut up.”

When the credits rolled Jack switched off the TV, shrouding the room in darkness and stood up, gently pulling you up to your feet beside him. You were tired after such a long day, and the movie and snuggles afterwards only made you more tired.

He rested his hands on your hips and gave you a tender, soft kiss.

“You like your new jammies Baby?” He asked, smiling when you nodded. “Yeah? You look so dang cute in them.”

He nuzzled his nose against yours.

“Is my Baby too tired tonight? Or do you want to have some playtime with Daddy before bed?”

You whined in response, resting your hands on his chest.

“I always want to play with you Daddy.”

“Oh I know you do Baby, but Daddy thinks you need your rest. Bed time for you I think.”

“I don’t want to go to bed Daddy.”

“Think you’re awake enough for it Honey Bee?” he asked, gently shoving your new robe off of your shoulders and onto the floor.

“Yes,” you nodded.

“Prove it,” he rasped, firmly pushing you to your knees in front of the couch and pulling his sweats down enough for his balls and hardening cock to hook over them.

You licked your lips and looked up at him, taking him in your hand at the base. His eyes burned into yours as you opened your mouth and began kitten licking at his tip, circling your tongue around him.

You kissed him, from base to tip, worshipping his cock.

He moaned at your teasing little touches and you felt him twitch in your hand, hardening slowly under your touch.

‘That's it Baby, Get Daddy nice and hard,” he sighed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back to lose himself to the feeling of you coaxing his cock.

You felt the crotch of your sleep shorts become wet, aroused by his raspy voice and lewd moans. But you kept your hands where they were, on his thigh and cock, knowing if you touched yourself without permission his ‘playtime’ with you would become a (delicious) punishment.

You relaxed your jaw and took him into your mouth, letting your tongue run along the underside of his length as you bobbed your head, taking him deeper into your mouth.

He let out a loud guttural moan, hands cupping your head to keep you in place.

“Hmmmmm fuck Baby!” He spat, looking back down at you and gently thrusting his hips into your face, careful not to choke you. “You’ve gotten so good at that! Can take me so well now can’t cha? Almost all the way!”

He rocked into you slowly, now fully erect in your mouth, you concentrated on breathing through your nose as he pushed himself deeper with each thrust.

You had succeeded in taking him easier than when you first had gotten together, but it was still a struggle to truly deepthroat him and supress your gag reflex, so far you had never managed to take him all in before you backed out. You kept your hand on his thigh, ready to tap out when needed.

Your eyes never left his face, and his never left your lips, watching as inch by inch his cock went further into your mouth.

“Breathe Baby,” he encouraged, hungrily watching his spit covered cock push and pull in and out of you. “If you can take me all the way in tonight Baby, I’ll give you a big reward.”

You mewled around him, excited by his promise of a reward. He always delivered on those promises in a spectacular way.

You took a deep breath through your nose and relaxed your throat as best you could, successfully taking him further, your jaw hurt and your throat protested as he pushed in even deeper.

Your eyes watered as your lips finally met the groomed hair at his base. You blinked up at him, waiting for approval and praise for having taken him all the way for the first time triumphantly.

“Hnnng! Fuck! Good girl! Good Girl!” he panted, watching you, transfixed on the way his cock looked shoved all the way down your throat. “Perfect, warm wet little mouth fuck!”

He reached down cautiously, fingers tracing over your neck gently, feeling the bulge in your throat. You whined, feeling light headed as he gripped your neck and squeezed lightly, he gave an experimental thrust, even with the awkward angle and groaned at the feeling of his own hand squeezing your throat tighter around him.

“Oh fuck Honey Bee I’m so deep,” he moaned, squeezing tighter, making you more light headed. “Doin such a good job, you need to tap out Sugar?”

You shook your head no as best you could, head swimming and body buzzing as he chokes you with his hand and cock.

“Can feel my fat cock moving inside you Baby, so damn hot, making me even fucking harder.”

He kept thrusting into your throat slowly, careful to not actually choke you. You were getting a little high from the lack of oxygen, far more aroused by it than you ever thought you could be. You only tapped out when black dots started to swim in your vision.

Jack pulled free without hesitation, crouching in front of you to check you were alright as the obstruction in your throat was gone and your lungs heaved in oxygen.

You gulped down air hungrily as Jack kissed your face in praise.

“Did so well baby, so proud of you, you took me all the way,” he murmured, nose nuzzling along your hairline. He waited for you to be ready to continue , and when your breathing had calmed and you gave him a nod to continue, he kissed your forehead, stood up and pulled you to your feet with him.

“As promised, my little girl deserves her reward,” he growled, nodding over to an armchair by the sliding door. “Go sit,” he ordered softly.

You scrambled to comply, anticipating your reward with glee.

He sauntered over, discarding his stetson on the coffee table before kneeling down in front of you, hooking his fingers into your sleep shorts.

“Up,” he gently instructed, pulling them down your legs as you lifted your hips for him.

He brought the shorts up to his face and inhaled your scent, licking up the crotch of them to taste the juices that soaked them.

“My baby tastes so good,” he praised, discarding the shorts over his shoulder. “Spread ‘em wide for me Sugar,” he said, gently coaxing your leg apart and licking his lips.

He didn’t tease, intent on giving you your much deserved reward as he drank you down and shoved his tongue deep into your dripping hole.

Your back arched, eyes closed and thighs shook, he pulled them over his shoulders to give himself more room, his strong arms wrapped around your thighs to hold them still.

You whimpered in delight, gripping his hair and pulling him deeper, his eyes cut up at you, letting you know that at any other time, an action would not be tolerated, and he would have you reprimanded for being greedy.

But this was your reward, you deserved it.

Jack did not hide his messy noises as he ate you out like a man starved, wet smacks of his lips on your lower lips, the sound of his skin coming into contact with your dripping thighs, his moans and your sounds of pleasure filled the room.

You gasped when you felt a thick finger prod at your hole, pushing up into you beside his tongue. Your head snapped down to watch as he slowly pumped his finger into you, his tongue began lapping up your folds until he reached your clit, suckling on it gently.

“Daddy!” You whimpered, pushing your hips up further into his face.

He gave you a cocky grin as a second finger joined the first, stretching you out so perfectly, his fingers were so much thicker than yours, fuck you loved his fingers so much, and he knew just where to stroke to make your body sing. In such a short time he had learnt your body better than you ever had.

“My Baby wants to cum?” He asked, running his tongue over your folds again.

“Yes, please Daddy,” you pleaded.

“Daddy prefers when you’re patient Baby. But you earned it tonight,” he growled, standing up with his fingers still inside you. Your legs dropped from his shoulders as he leant over you to nibble at your ear, you felt your juices that still coating his jaw as his skin met yours.

He abandoned his slow pumps of his hand, fucking you hard and fast with his skilled fingers. You keened under him, writhing at the sudden change.

“Look outside that window Baby,” he ordered in your ear hotly. “There's still people out and about, all they have to do is look up here, and they’d see you getting fucked by my hand.”

You felt your core clench around his fingers at his words, a wave of your arousal flooding out, soaking his hand.

“You like that idea Sugar? You like the idea of some stranger seeing my fingers buried in this pussy?”

You whimpered and tried to thrust up into his hand.

“Answer the question!” He growled.

“Y-Yes Daddy!” You cried, panting hard as you felt your pleasure building.

“Yeah? You get off on the idea of someone else seeing you? Seeing what’s mine?”

He sucked a mark into your neck, hoping it would show tomorrow, his secret little claim.

“Want everyone to see you? Like some kind of common whore? You’re mine Baby, don’t you forget that.”

“T-that's what i want them to see!” You whined, racing towards the edge, hoping he wouldn’t deny you as he often did to tease. “I want them to see who-who I belong to!”

He growled in approval.

“Yeah? What else Baby?” He asked, encouraging your line of thought.

“W-want them to see...That you’re- you’re the only one who can make me cum, that you’re the only one good enough!”

“Oh Baby you sure know what to say to stroke your Daddy’s ego,” he hummed in pride. “Go on then, show them, show anyone watching how hard Daddy makes you cum.”

You were already well on your way to your pleasure when he gave you permission to cum, but he helped you along by diving down and sucking hard on your clit.

Your back arched further as you screamed out his name, your walls clenching hard over his furious fingers, as they attacked that sweet deep spot inside you on a mission.

It hurt how powerful your orgasm was, how hard his fingers fucked you through it. And as it washed over you you were ready for him to pull out, for him to let you come down from your high, but his fingers did not slow.

You mewled, sensitive and sore from your first orgasm as you felt him forcing your body towards a second one already.

“D-Daddy, too- too much!” You whined, wriggling in his grasp.

“Yeah?” he asked, his teasing tone told you he didn’t believe you, he moved his head away from your clit to look you in the eyes, speeding up his fingers. “What’s your color then?”

Your hips began thrusting up to meet his hand again.

“Color Baby?” He reminded.

“Green,” bucking up hard now into his hand to chase your fast approaching second high.

“Thought so,” he hummed, taking your nipple into his mouth through your bralette, gently sucking on it and tugging it with his teeth.

When he had soaked the fabric and thoroughly teased you he released it.

“You’re going to cum again for me, that's your reward. Daddys going to make you cum so hard your pretty little pussy will be ruined tomorrow.”

You sobbed under him, anticipating how tantalizingly sore you would be with great delight.

“Come on, be a good little girl for me and cum,” he cooed, grabbing your jaw with his free hand to make you look at him, his face only inches away from yours.

“Cum for Daddy, and I’ll fuck you right up against that window for everyone to watch.”

Your stomach flipped at the thought and your core tightened around his fingers again.

“If it weren't so damn cold out there I’d fuck you right on that balcony, so the whole of Rome can hear your screams for me.”

He brushed your clit with his thumb as the words fell from his mouth, pushing you over the edge for a second time.

“That's it Baby, cum for Daddy,” he cooed softly, lips ghosting yours. “Squeezing my fingers so tight. Can't wait till my cocks all snug up in there, my favorite, perfect little hole.”

His words made your second orgasm just as powerful as the first, you shook hard in your chair and screamed loudly until your voice was hoarse. You tried to muffle the scream with your hands which, until now, had been gripping the armrest for dear life ever since Jack removed himself from between your legs.

He was having none of that however, grabbing your wrists in his hand and pulling them away from your face to hear your screams of pleasure.

He coaxed your orgasm as long as he could, slowing his fingers but still thrusting them hard inside you. Dragging it out.

You shook from the aftershocks each time his fingers shoved up against your cervix, whimpering as your breathing struggled to return to normal and body tried to unwind.

He pulled his fingers free from you, loving how your pussy tried to suck them back inside. You mewled at the loss despite how oversensitive you were.

He held up his hand to inspect it, proudly displaying how drenched it was in your cum.

“Look at that Baby, down past the wrist...You horny little thing,” he rasped, letting you watch as he wrapped his slick coated hand around his neglected cock, pumping it slowly, you could hear the wet pass of his hand with each pump.

“Stand up,” he ordered gently, not helping you as you stood up on shaky legs, struggling to comply as your legs threatened to give out underneath you.

“Top needs to go too Honey Bee,” he instructed, watching you with predatory eyes as you raised your arms, taking the sexy little Bralette off and discarding it somewhere behind you.

“Up against the window, arms up.”

You wobbled over slowly, sighing as your body touched the cool glass.

You felt so exposed up against the glass, despite the fact there was no one currently walking about outside, and there was no light in the living area now that the TV was off, the only light source being the lights outside, lighting up the coliseum.

You could see Jack's reflection in the glass as he came up behind you, stepping out of his sweats. You could hear him still pumping his cock with you slick.

Your back arched as he ran the tip of his cock over your dripping folds, making you gasp and shudder.

“Poor Baby, still so sensitive,” he teased, pushing you against the cold glass with his free hand, making your nipples tighten painfully at the chill. You wriggled slightly as he pushed his hips forward, tip entering your hole.

“Shhhh Baby, Daddy needs his fair share too, needs to fuck your pussy,” he sighed, your tight wet heat slowly enveloped him as he slowly inched his hips forward.

“Need to make you cum. One last time.” He emphasized the statement by snapping his hips forwards, filling you up completely as his hips slapped up against your ass.

He gave your oversensetive body only a moment to adjust to the stretch before wrapping an arm around you and fucking into you hard and fast. His free arm grasped your neck, lightly choking you again as his cock hammered into you.

“Fuck, so wet baby. Your cums soaking me, dripping down Daddys balls,” he rasped into your ear.

Slap. Slap. Slap. Slap. Slap, filled the room as you were shoved up against the glass with each thrust.

You cried at the delicious stretch, at how he made your tender, sore hole buzz with pleasure every time he shoved himself inside, at how your body stung from the cold glass, and at the filth he rambled into your ear.

“My perfect pussy, Daddy’s pretty little princess. Think about how anyone could walk past. Could see you,” he teased, turning you on more. “Stuffed full of my cock, wouldn’t be hard, this low down, just need to turn their head a lil bit, ‘s all it would take to see you.”

You moaned at his words, tightening around him.

“Fuck, squeezing me so tight,” he whispered in awe,thrusting harder into you.

You closed your eyes and lost yourself to the delirium of being fucked by him, trying hard not to cum around him until he gave you permission.

He didn’t like it when you came without his permission.

He chuckled darkly into your ear, slowing his thrusts down to teasing rolls of the hips. “There's someone now,” he rasped, watching someone walk by further down the street, you cracked your eyes open and could see just how close they were, close enough that if you called out with the window open, they would hear.

“I don’t think they’ve spotted us. Let’s see if we can change that shall we?” He suggested with another dark laugh, letting go of your neck to grip your hips with both hands, making it much easier to thrust inside you and leaving nothing to silence your noises as he slammed into you again with the same speed as before.

You shrieked, watching with wide eyes at the passer by, hoping he did not hear.

It was annoying just how arousing the idea of this stranger catching the two of you was.

Before you could even stop yourself, you came around Jack’s cock without warning. No build up, no tensing, it hit you so suddenly you couldn’t have stopped yourself if you had tried.

He growled angrily behind you, pausing his thrusts as you squeezed him hard, as your walls fluttered and tried to milk his cock.

There was no way you could hide what you just did, it may have snuck up on you fast but he felt it. Felt you squeeze him and shake in his grasp.

“Did you just fucking cum Baby?” He snarled. “Without Daddy’s permission?”

“I’m sorry!” you sobbed. “I didn’t mean to, it happened so fast!”

“You got off to the thought of some stranger seeing you, isn’t that right?”

“Yes, Daddy,” you whimpered pathetically, not wanting to anger him further by lying to him.

“Such a filthy little slut,” he berated, rocking back into you. “If Daddy didn’t need to cum so bad I'd punish you right now. Throw you over my knee and remind you that Daddy owns your orgasms.”

“I know Daddy! I’m sorry! So sorry!”

“I believe you Baby, but that don't change the rules. Doesn’t mean you get away without some sort of punishment.” He licked the shell of your ear, nibbling at you lightly.

“Tomorrow night, I really will destroy your pussy. I’ll hold you down and fuck you so hard, till you cum so many times you pass out, never letting up until you’re beggin me to. Daddy will choose how many times you cum, when you cum, and how hard you cum, to remind you your pleasure belongs to me.”

You sniveled, panting as your breath fogged up the glass.

“Y-Yes Daddy,” you agreed.

“Now stay still, Daddy gonna fill you up, get you nice and creamy.”

His rocks built back up to the harsh thrusts, reserving no gentleness for you as his grip would no doubt leave bruises on your hips the next day.

He growls, the steady slap of his thrusts, bumping of glass and the blood rushing in your ear was all you could hear.

And even though you had already cum three times, you could feel a fourth bubbling deep inside, warming you up.

He pounded you against the glass.

He cursed as his thrusts became frenzied, violent bucks up against your ass as he chased his release.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, here it comes!” He bellowed, digging his teeth into your shoulder and marking you hard. He groaned against your skin as his hot cum flooded you. You felt it fill you and warm you up, even if he didn’t let you cum again, you adored the sensation of him filling you up each time.

His thrusts slowed as you felt his seed begin to leak out around his length.

You mewled at the loss of the orgasm you knew he wouldn’t have given you anyway.

He pulled out slowly, releasing your shoulder and watching as his softening length fell from you.

Your knees buckled, but Jack was quick to catch you before you fell and scoop you up into his arms.

“There we go Baby,” he murmured, gently nosing at your temple. “Let's get you sorted.”

As usual Jack’s aftercare consisted of his soft praises as he tended to your physical needs.

He washed you, tended to your marks, dressed you back into your new pajamas, and tucked you into bed. You drifted in and out of his care, only catching a few words here and there.

“Good girl”, “Did so well,” and “So proud,” were the familiar praises you heard.

He joined you under the warm blankets when he decided you had been thoroughly cared for, pulling you close to his chest to snuggle and murmur affections at you. You nuzzled deeper into his warmth, completely boneless and spent, listening to the gentle timbre of his voice as you drifted off.

That night you dream about old castles and handsome southern princes.

credit to @talesfromtheguild for this little bit

“Hmm...” “What are you hmming about over there?” “You’d look good with a little blonde patch.” “Shut up.”

Tag list:

@thats-one-tender-foot @luminescentlily @nuttybeardetective @ishqinbbc @ben-is-a-hoe @calamity-queen @phoenixhalliwell @talesfromtheguild @the-arctic-violet @jeeperky @mando-amando

#SugarDaddy!Whiskey #7dov #DIamonds&Daddies #agent whiskey x reader #jack daniels x reader #jack whiskey daniels x reader #my fic #thots #smut

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girlmeetsliv3 · 4 years ago

Text

Violent Delights: One

Violent Delights

(In collaboration with @jooniescupcakes)

Genre: Horror, Suspense, & Psychological Thriller

Pairings: Gang!Jimin x reader ; BTS x Reader

Sypnosis:“These violent delights have violent ends And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which as they kiss, consume.”

Release Date: Sept 29, 2020 @ 8 p.m. (GMT-4)

Word Count: 9.2k

Author's Note: It's finally here! Almost a year in the works, but Violent Delights The Series is finally kicking off. Thank you for all the love, support, as well as critiques the one-shot received. I hope this re-telling can both capture and surpass the twisted charm of the original. I would like to thank Min (@jooniescupcakes) for helping me outline and plot the story and for contributing. I greatly appreciate it. This story will be darker, gore-y, and a lot more twisted than the original. So strap in & happy early Halloween! Trigger Warning: This story contains subject matter not appropriate for all ages. This story contains mental illness, emotional, physical, and mental abuse; as well as abuse of power, manipulation, and toxic relationships. All of which play a big part in this story. It is never my intention to sensationalize or spread misinformation about mental disorders, please take the "medicine" used in this story with a grain of salt. Links to helplines can be found in the navigation of my blog. Lastly, this is a work of fiction and does not portray the character of Bangtan Sonyeondan.

The door slammed shut harshly as Hanbin rushed to bolt it locked, by his side, he tugged an inconsolable YN through the small house. There was very little time until she arrived. He maneuvered his way through the piles of old dirty clothes, the children had long become accustomed to the stench coming from the kitchen, the dust, and grime that covered their home. It’s why no one came over. Not that anyone was allowed over. In the center of the room framed on the wall shined a family portrait mockingly. Hanbin was short for his age, just eight years old, but it allowed him to navigate through small openings and hide in tight spaces. It was a survival tactic.

“Shh, YN. You need to calm down. She’ll be here soon.”

“i-I wuh-wanted to help, Binnie. She was hurt -”

Hanbin pulled on his sister a little too harshly trying to draw her attention, it caused her lower lip to quiver as she tried to hold the tears back. That wouldn’t do she didn’t like it when they cried. “Helping people only gets you into trouble.” Outside, the slamming of a car door could be heard. Quickly Hanbin located the small broom closet and helped YN inside. The jiggling of the doorknob was barely above a whisper, but it rang as loud as the fire alarm in the children’s heads. YN began to hyperventilate knowing what was coming even if she didn’t truly understand why.

“It’s okay,” Hanbin rubs her cheek affectionately. “Just stay inside, be quiet, and don’t try to help.” Just like that he closed the door and locked it. He silently hoped YN hadn’t skipped lunch that day. YN cowered under the old headboards, her only company the dusty cleaning products and cobwebs, the second the screaming started she covered her ears and closed her eyes.

“Miss YN?” The nurse’s bright pink scrubs served as a strong contrast to the muted tones of the rest of the building. YN cast a glance around she was likely the youngest person there, but everyone around her shared a similar air of ennui that YN had long grown to associate with doctor’s offices. Slowly she stood up following the nurse as she guided her through what appeared to be an endless labyrinth of doors. After stopping abruptly the nurse turns around and smiles though it’s evidently rehearsed. “Don’t be nervous, Dr. Kang is one of the best doctors here.” How many times hadn’t she heard that before? YN offers the nurse a smile making sure it is wide enough to crinkle the corners of her eyes. That seems to suffice the woman enough for her to finally knock on the door.

Dr. Kang Daniel was certainly young for his profession, but that provided some relief for YN. It would be nice not to spend almost an hour with someone that looked to have been around when Freud was. “Please take a seat.” He gestures over to a chair in front of the desk and YN notices there is little decoration around the room. It’s also missing a clock, but thankfully she sees Kang is wearing one. YN notes the time: 5:36 pm. Forty-three more minutes to go.

“I apologize that we’re going to have to go through all of this, but its procedure.” He lightly shakes the file in his hand. Most doctors operated digitally now, so that stood out.

“It’s fine.”

“Let’s get to it then. Why are you here YN?”

They went over the usual things and YN was quickly growing a bit bored, her eyes danced around the room as she did find it very strange that it seemed so vacant for a personal office. “Bored?” Her eyes snapped back to his, Kang wearing an unreadable expression. “I apologize for the lack of decor. I recently moved offices, so this will be my last day here.” YN frowned, “I thought I was to be your new patient.” Kang nods, “Yes, but our sessions will be held in my consultation. It’s closer to downtown so you might save yourself the trip.” How does he know I live closer to downtown? Perhaps seeing the further furrowing of her brow Kang speaks once more. “Unless you live far from downtown?” YN shakes her head feeling the tension leave her body just a bit.

Slowly he closes the file and leans forward, resting on his elbows. “I know this isn’t the most comfortable environment. I also know how jarring transfers can be and that they can halt any sort of process…” YN zones out of the conversation having heard it a thousand times since she was eleven years old. The rambling tends to have the same conclusion every single time.

‘I want us to be friends.’

“I want us to be friends or something similar. I know there are some barriers and guidelines in our relationship, but don’t think they aren’t malleable. I’m here if you need me.”

YN mulls over what might serve as an appropriate response, aware that taking too long might ruin the pseudo-friendly atmosphere and she doesn’t want to have any more problems with psychiatrists. “Thank you, Dr. Kang. I’m sorry I’m just a bit nervous.” The sheepish smile that follows afterward is enough to convince Kang. Perhaps he isn’t a bad man but YN has encountered his type far too often: those striving to make a difference. Always trying to make things better. Always trying to help.

“No one will help us, YN. No one cares about us.”

“So let’s move onto your family YN -”

“Actually I wanted to ask you about my medication.” Kang seemed surprised at her interruption but encouraged her to continue. “Dr. Lee only gave me enough medication to last the transfer, so I’m almost out.”

“That won’t be a problem. I’ll be taking you off the medication for a short time anyway.” What? Kang’s attention was now on his computer, not bothering to look at YN in the eye. “I need to run some tests and in order to do that your system has to be clean.”

YN hadn’t been off her medication for a long time. Sure the dosage varied depending on the treatment, but going completely off was unheard of. Especially so soon. “Don’t worry,” Kang smiled. “There shouldn’t be any potential side effects and if there is I’ll give you my private number. In case of emergencies.” What was supposed to be a soothing smile only unnerved YN even more. YN nodded once more though she felt her anxiety begin to swell up in her stomach. Her heart rate speeding up, but YN knew a panic attack wouldn’t do her any favors. It would make her look like an addict and they would lock her up for sure. It’s only a matter of time. Now that the issue had been cleared Kang cleared his throat, “Now what I was saying about your family -”

YN stood up abruptly thankful the minute hand had finally landed one above the four. “It’s 6:19 our time is up.” She gestures towards his wristwatch and an annoyed look masks his face before it went just as quickly as it came. “It appears so.” His hand covers the watch in a motion that could hardly be described as casual. Kang waves her off, “It was a pleasure meeting you, YN. I’ll schedule the tests for Friday and I’ll see you Wednesday.”

“In other news….updates...gang violence…”

YN wandered through the aisles looking for inspiration or something to satisfy her cravings. In her hand lay open her phone just so she wouldn’t have to keep making eye contact with the older woman behind the cash register. The employee peered at her as if YN was one of the dangerous criminals the news anchors droned on about. YN keeps looking over the message her social worker sent her: you have to be there at least a month before I could put in a transfer request. When YN bent down to read the label, she felt the woman lean over the counter. YN rolled her eyes and picked up the packaged bulgogi before grabbing a sports drink and a small fruit salad.

Once she saw YN was an actual paying customer, not a shoplifter, the woman’s expression changed. Her smile far too gleeful for this time of night. “Will that be all, dear?” Her voice too high to be sincere. Nonetheless, YN nods and forces a polite smile on her face. Even wishes the woman a safe night for extra measure. Before YN could walk out of the store, the woman responds with her own form of goodnight. “I would be careful walking home tonight. There’s been a lot of crime recently.”

It is a bit cruel that the second YN exits the store and turns a corner someone begins to follow her. She becomes aware of it instantly, her senses having been trained from a young age to pick up on the small imperceptible changes. Instinct was not to be ignored. The wind became thicker and the streets a little too quiet. YN wouldn’t look up, but if she did, surely there would be storm clouds looming. Don’t acknowledge him. Just keep walking. People like that enjoyed prey. The game. No one wanted to face off against a predator being one. Unless this was a different kind of predator then YN really ought to call the police. For once she was thankful for the pocketknife stored in the inner pocket of her jacket but disappointed that her pepper spray remained stashed in her bag.

Her groceries hung heavy on her arm, but YN was too far from home to attempt to sprint. So she would have to wait it out, YN could take a few punches. Surely whoever it was would become tired after following her for too long. By the time YN had walked ten blocks, she realized that was not the case. The person was still behind her, though there wasn’t much that she could tell much about the person. They were likely taller and considering their persistence they were a threat.

YN could pick up distantly on the booming bass that likely came from one of the many clubs scattered downtown. It meant she was near her house, that she could likely get home. The houses looked familiar she was probably not too far from home. Hope began to swell in her chest until another idea dawned on her. That’s exactly what they want. If the person had followed her this far they wanted to see where she lived. Abruptly YN turned left towards the direction of the main street, she was likely in a back alley of some sort but the bass only got louder so that helped propel her forward.

Towards the center of the alley, YN saw three figures huddled over on the ground. She was too far off to hear what they were saying, but based on their movements it seemed mocking in nature. YN wasn’t able to decipher what was occurring until it was far too late. A man is wriggling on the ground while bleeding profusely from the side of his head while two men stand above him. Blood is spattered on both walls and their clothes are covered in it. There no longer was a presence behind her the real danger now lay in front. In the form of a tall raven-haired man and a slightly shorter blonde - the latter of which YN made eye contact with.

YN bolts down the alleyway in the opposite direction aware that the blonde is hot on her tails. As she rounds a corner she feels him catching up to her right on her before he abruptly slows down. He doesn’t want the chase to end.

56...57...58…

YN counts the streets aware she’s nearing her apartment but isn’t about to lead him straight to her doorstep. In her peripheral, she sees one of the neighboring buildings which contains a doorman stationed there twenty-four hours. YN uses the last bit of her strength to push through the glass doors tumbling at the steps, but the doorman is there to catch her. “Miss, is everything alright?” YN turns around to catch a glimpse, but there’s no one behind her. Though she does note something disappointing: her groceries are gone.

When YN unlocked her apartment door she felt this immediate wave of tranquility hit her. It had taken a while to convince the doorman not to contact the police, she didn't want to be in bigger trouble, but the man had finally agreed after stating he would walk her back home. Once in the lobby, she took the stairs just to be safe. Quickly, she turned around securing all three locks, and headed straight for the bathroom. YN never understood the sentiment behind showers helping unwind, then again she never spent enough time under the water to allow for that. Baths weren't a treat - they were a utility. Like most utilities YN didn't have a lot of available growing up, so she learned to adapt.

Still, it was long enough to let her mind wander to everything that had occurred today. YN wasn't quite sure about how she felt about Dr. Kang, he unnerved her in a way other doctor's hadn't before. Then there was the issue regarding her medication: YN hadn't been unmedicated since she was eleven and that was a time she didn't want to go back to. Then there was the person that may have followed her and the man that definitely did. My head hurts. She rinsed herself and shut the water off, drying herself quickly with her towel. The chase had been real, too real, everything in YN's body had reacted instinctively once she met his eyes. Those dark eyes that had pierced into hers. The blonde man wasn't just chasing YN - he was hunting her down.

But what about the other person? YN hadn’t seen them, but she had felt them trailing after her. However, why would someone do that and especially for so long? The blonde man had only really tracked YN down for two blocks, but even then it felt shorter. The other person simply observed her. Didn’t do anything. Was there even someone there? YN glanced up, catching her reflection in the foggy mirror. The mist had dispersed in some sections, but not others so the only thing she could see were parts of her face. Faltering in her step, she walked forward and pulled the mirror open. Grabbing the white-labeled bottle with her name printed on it.

Habin sits atop the bathroom sink balancing himself. One of his hands gripping tightly to the side to not slip. This has to be done quickly before she gets back from the store. YN holds his legs or attempts to, while Habin finally manages to grab the bottle. “Is it this one?” He sticks his hand out for YN to see. The young girl squints her eyes, “Are they blue and little?” Hanbin looks through the orange tint of the bottle before nodding. “I think so.”

“Do they smell like fruits?”

“I can’t open the bottle YN. I don’t know if they smell like fruit.”

YN nods and Habin notes how hollowed out her face has become. Once round and plump, full of life, now looks as frail as his. “I think those are the ones.” Habin closes the medicine cabinet and cautiously jumps off, the medicine bottle still tight in his hands. “Why does she give them to you?” YN can note the confusion in her brother’s face, she was confused before too. “She says I need them to go to sleep. They help me sleep.” Habin stays quiet before in the blink of an eye he throws the pill bottle against the wall, breaking the seal causing all the pills to spill all over the floor.

“Bin why did you do that?! I need -”

“No! You don’t need anything YN. You aren’t sick, she's just lying to you!” Habin screamed in frustration. He could see the tears starting to well up in YN’s eyes and he felt regret pool in his stomach. “Please YN. You aren’t sick. We aren’t sick. Okay?”

YN took a deep breath, the way her brother had shown her would help stop the tears, the inside of her cheek was bitten harshly until her throat cleared up. “Okay.”

YN looks at the white bottle in her hand considering taking the medicine despite what Kang said. It would just be one more. Just to calm her down. To make sure that what happened tonight wasn't a side effect of going off so quickly. Her hand twisted the bottle cap, but instead of grabbing one and placing it in her mouth, she headed towards the toilet flushing them all away. Though she might not agree with his treatment plans Dr.Kang was a professional and surely knew more than she did. Plus, YN couldn't afford to be transferred again; her social worker might drop her altogether. It’s just until the blood work is completed.

“Unfortunately Miss YN, we won’t be able to conduct any tests until your insurance approves it.”

YN paces around her apartment, phone in hand. “I understand but my doctor ordered it. It’s necessary in order for him to treat me.”

“It appears that the necessary paperwork hasn’t been sent over to the insurance company. At least not enough to justify the exams. You can go through with them, but it will have to be out of pocket.”

YN sighs, running her hand through her hair as the nurse lists off the prices for each exam. A knock disrupts her causing YN to glance at the door questioningly, no one in her building would ever knock on her door. Looking through the peephole, she sees the manager and doesn't know if that makes her relieved or tenser. "I'm sorry can you just give me a minute?" YN speaks to the phone and mutes it, just to be safe. Upon opening the door, a brown bag is shoved in her face.

“Sorry to interrupt dear, some boy left this for you downstairs.”

Just as quickly as he came, the manager leaves. YN quickly shuts the door and locks it, before hanging up the call. The bag looks simple enough though YN hadn’t ordered anything in the past couple of days. Cautiously she opens it and the horror that spreads through her body is instantaneous. In the bag are her groceries from last night, but with minor changes: The red energy drink is now blue, the fruit salad is replaced with regular salad, and instead of bulgogi it is kimchi now. Though it isn’t the food that upsets YN, but rather the pink sticky note placed on top.

To replace everything you lost ;)

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty. Staying locked inside her apartment for the following days seemed like a smart choice. There was someone out there who knew where she lived. What she looked like. YN was used to being preyed upon, but this was a different game. Not one she was accustomed to. There were enough faded white lines and healed over bones to evidence that she was a survivor. That time and time again YN had faced against monsters and gotten out alive. The thing that terrified her about this monster - was how different he was. She kept waiting for the tall blonde man to show up one night: looming over her whilst she slept, crouching in a dark corner of the room. Lurking behind the shower curtain.

YN wasn’t able to sleep, didn’t bathe, and had thrice rearranged the room so there was no furniture to hide behind. Her paranoia was through the roof and it didn’t help that it had been the first time YN was off her medication for an extended amount of time. Which was bound to be causing more problems than she was aware of, or would like to acknowledge. The cycle continued until on her fourth day, sick of the grime, YN picked up the phone and dialed Dr.Kang’s office. Hoping to resolve the issue and be back on medication as soon as possible.

“Unfortunately, Dr. Kang isn’t in the office today. However, I can schedule a house call”

She hung up, not even bothering to respond to the secretary on the other line. If YN would have allowed herself a moment to feel anything except for fear - sympathy would've been felt for the probably nice young woman she had just hung up on. Maybe I can just sleep until my next appointment. Sleep it all away. So YN crawled into her bed, the covers lie somewhere on the floor. Exhaustion taking over as she drifted off to sleep.

It should've been easier to tell her childhood room apart from all the ones she had before. It had the most personality; if stickers on the wall, old pencil marks, and deteriorating plaster counted. Most of them hadn't even been done by her, but rather Habin in time before her. It created a sense of normalcy in YN's life that didn't exist elsewhere. Of course, her safe haven didn't last long, the hole in the wall right near the bed frame was proof enough. YN couldn't remember the last time she had dreamt, the medication helped with the nightmares, now she stood curled in a ball in the center of the room. The way she would always get once she heard the heavy footsteps approach the hallway.

YN had long learned to tell the different patter of the weathered old sneakers. Heavy stomps that scraped against the wood meant she was going to be screamed at. Rhythmic ones that were heavier on the heel, than the toes meant they might get dinner. While footsteps that dragged meant YN would be getting ignored. It was the ones she didn't hear. When the hallway was so quiet that all YN could hear was the sound of her breathing and the fear rushing through her tiny body - those were the steps she feared. Those were typically followed by the gentle, yet suspenseful pushing of her bedroom door. It didn't have a knob. There was no escape.

YN expected to peer up and see the tall large figure that always tormented her. The thick thighs, rounded hips, a bulbous stomach that spoke of all the meals she'd had - all the ones her children hadn't - and her face. It was much like YN's though much more feminine, older, and eyes devoid of life. It had always stood out to YN when she was a child, though she was certain that if she were to look in a mirror now YN would be the spitting image of her mother. Instead of her birth giver stood a man.

His face was angular, rounded cheeks, and sharp eyes highlighted by thick brows. His lips appeared full as if they were meant for bright large smiles, but it was obvious from the man’s expression he rarely did. There was something strangely familiar about him. An amalgamation of someone she knew and her own imagination, filling in the blank spaces. He looked like her, yet not at all. Tears welled in her eyes, “Bin?” Then he morphed. Now slightly taller, more weight to his frame. A rounded face with hooded eyes, the corner of his lips were tilted upwards in a way that was full of mirth. Dr. Kang faded as quickly as he came.

Now all she saw was a silhouette. Despite being mostly obscured, she could at least tell it was a man. He was lean yet muscular. His body was sharply defined in a way that seemed deliberate. Facial features were obscured, but YN was certain he was glaring at her in a way that caused goosebumps to rise all over her body. Plump pink lips parted moving slowly, tauntingly, but no sound exited them. Only by the smirk formed afterward could she tell their salacious nature. He stepped forward drawing closer to her, but the way he moved was inhumane. It wasn't a walk. But a predator's crawl towards her. Now he was finally in the light, entirely visible but all YN could focus on was the blonde mop of hair atop his head. When he pounced, she screamed.

YN awoke covered in sweat, her hair matted against her forehead and neck. She could still taste the saltiness of her tears and when she finally managed to breathe a sob tore out. Get out! Get out! Get out! If she remained locked inside her apartment for one more second, YN was going to reach her breaking point. Quickly she hopped in the shower before throwing on the first thing she saw and grabbing her wallet. YN didn’t know where she was headed, but her body acted on its own. Locking the apartment door before racing towards the stairs, dashing down all seven floors with little care if she tripped. Perhaps a silent part of her wished she did, it would put her out of her misery.

The lobby of her apartment building, if it could even be called that, was always empty. Never a soul in sight to guard the door, even though YN was sure part of her rent went towards security. Not to mention the intercom system, which allowed people to be buzzed in, hadn't worked for several weeks. It was something she was always acutely aware of but pushed towards the back of her mind. Wouldn't do her any favors to obsess over something she had no control over. Now walking through the desolate lobby out into the night - it was all she could think about. He was all she could think about.

YN took a deep breath and opened the glass doors sneakily peeking towards the sides and being thankful when she noted nothing great. Now where to? She wouldn't go very far nor somewhere unknown. It was reckless to be out so late and would be a death wish to try and enter city life. Gang violence was on the rise and YN didn't fancy herself prepared to face off against someone. So, YN went to the one place that felt familiar no matter what. The convenience store was a fifteen-minute walk, but she took the bus. The original plan was to sit towards the back, where she could see everything, but it wasn't empty. An elderly woman, far too frail-looking to be out this late, sat in the center. Whilst three boys huddled over sat in the back, they must have felt her eyes on them. As one of them - the one in the black beanie - stopped his conversation and turned slightly. Before they could make eye contact YN looked away and sat down.

“Which one do you want?” Habin asked as they stared at the ice cream truck. He had counted the cents twice making sure they had enough. “Hm,” YN eye’s glanced all over the various images glued onto the truck. She already knew what she wanted but had long learned that taking your time was important - not too much though. “Mint choco.” Habin grimaced, disgust evident on his face. “Come on YN. We have to share it. Why can’t we get something I like for a change?” He whined, it was only ice cream but it was the only food Habin was likely to have all day. “Okay, let’s get chocolate then.” YN didn’t really care, she wasn’t planning on eating. Habin had sacrificed enough meals to feed her, an ice cream was the least she could do.

As she steps into the cold building, a small bell chimed to signal her entrance, alerting a young employee near the cashier.

“Welcome!” The boy smiles, wide and welcoming, handing her a basket,

YN didn’t respond. She walks towards the back, looking for some of her usual snacks, and before long, her basket was filled to the brim with all sorts of colorful foods, and she headed towards the till to pay, grimacing under the weight pulling at her arm. As she pulls out her purse, a soft chime catches her attention, making her glance at the door quickly, before trailing her eyes back. A familiar head of blonde flashes in her mind immediately, and despite herself, she found herself clenching her purse tightly, feeling her palms become clammy with sweat. What were the odds..?

“Is that all?” the cheery voice of the employee breaks her out of her trance as she nods back firmly, unable to push aside the nervous feeling from seeing the person walk in. Quickly weighing the options as she sees him bag all her groceries, she forces the question out before she can stop herself.

“Could you...walk me to the bus station?” Her voice was awkward and tight from keeping quiet most of the day, and she internally winced at the confused expression the other gave her.

“Are you..” he pauses, eyeing her carefully, “is someone trying to hurt you?”

YN doesn’t know what to say. Could she tell him what she saw? Fortunately, she didn’t have to reply. The boy - Kai, as it said on his tag - seemed to assume her pause was a yes. Excusing himself, he disappears behind the counter, and within a moment, hushed voices coming from there. Something was unnerving about standing there alone with the blonde, chilling her to the bone, knowing she was faced away and he could pounce at any moment. As soon as the terrifying thoughts crept in, Kai stepped back out. He takes her bag and silently leads her out the glass doors, warm, still air hitting her face the minute she left the building. They walk side by side silently, and YN could only count her steps as she got closer and closer to the station.

Her steps quicken when she sees the familiar structure, tall gray pillars, and a few large buses waiting. Kai keeps up with her as well, not bothered by the bag that seemed to drag her down, looking around carefully.

“Thank you.”

He smiles, what she initially assumed to be his practiced ‘customer service’ smile seemed a little more genuine now. Or maybe he was just very good at it - she wasn’t sure. She takes back the plastic bag, letting herself get used to the additional weight before turning to board the bus.

“Have a safe trip home!” The boy calls out, making her look back.

YN was expecting to see him with his blinding smile, but something eerier catches her eye. The young employee was standing a few steps away from her, and behind him, dangerously close, was the blonde man from before. Her mouth goes dry as she notices his dark gaze fixated on her hand that held the railing inside, something else in them as he cocked an eyebrow. He almost looked as if he was questioning her, asking what she would do now that he was close, much closer, and positioned to attack the boy. Realizing he must have followed her all the way, she felt her heart rate pick up as she found herself rapidly staring between Kai and the perpetrator, the choices dawning on her. She had to choose to leave Kai behind, or possibly die with him.

She felt her heart drop at the calm expression on the boy's face, not noticing the danger he was in, she knew he was young, but watching him now, she only just realized how young. He was so young, so innocent, with a whole life ahead of him - but because of some unfortunate circumstance, an unforeseeable future, he would have to throw everything away.

But if she stayed for him, so would she. She would have to give up everything she had struggled for, while in any circumstance, the blonde would kill Kai, regardless of whether she chose to stay or not. However, she could spare her own life. She couldn’t convince Kai to get on with her without alarming the man, but she could save her own life. After everything she had gone through, trouble was the last thing YN needed. Even if it meant someone else had to suffer alone, she had to stay safe. She found herself holding back hot tears as she quickly ducked into a lonely seat, refusing to look back, still clenching the cheap plastic in one hand and forcing herself not to look back as the tears freely slid down her cheeks.

‘Helping people only gets you into trouble. You do whatever it takes to survive.’

“They tell me you’ve missed the appointment I had set up.”

YN is noticeably tense as she sits in the blue velvet mid-century, her nails digging into the denim fabric of her jeans. “The insurance wasn’t notified,” her tone was clipped. Lower with a slight tremble to it as if it were about to break, but never really did. “I also needed a referral.” Dr. Kang frowned, glancing back down at the file before looking at YN questioningly. “That’s strange. I told my secretary to handle all the paperwork. I even told Joy to hand you the referral.” Seeing the confused expression on his patient’s face, he shrugged. “My apologies, Joy must have forgotten.” The smile he shoots her is sincere, or at least looks so, YN has no reason to doubt him any further on this matter.

Her posture slackens somewhat but given everything that has happened these past few days she finds it difficult to truly relax. YN feels that she is tethering at the edge of a breakdown, but that if she were to fall it would only make her circumstances worsen. There is something that has been bothering her though, how pacified everything has been as of late. The blonde man knew where she lived, he'd likely overheard her name as well, yet nothing had happened. Even Kang, with his cold calculating eyes, had not commented on her odd behavior the last session or how worse she had seemed to get after only being off her medication for a week. Why can’t I figure them out?

“Unfortunately, I won’t be able to assign you any new medication until I have the results from the bloodwork. However, I do want to know how you’ve been feeling lately.” Kang crossed his legs, leaning forward in his seat. “Have you been experiencing any side effects or withdrawals? Anything I should know about?”

There was a glint in his eyes as he spoke, one that warned YN that he may know more than he lets on. As if the man sitting in front of her was single-handedly responsible for everything that had occurred to her recently. "Normal things…" I am being stalked by a homicidal maniac. “Migraines, low blood pressure…” I keep having vivid flashbacks that only serve to increase my paranoia. “Sometimes I dissociate a bit.” Most importantly, doctor, I had a nightmare where you were about to kill me. “And trouble sleeping.” YN looked towards the ceiling, feigning as if she were in deep thought. “I think that’s it.”

Kang Daniel looked affronted as if she had not given a sufficient enough answer. Hadn't given him the answers he wanted. "I see." His eyes darted towards her hands, which had been tightly intertwined on her lap - immediately she relaxes them. When their eyes meet once more she levels with him. YN knows there is no point in engaging with Kang, that is exactly what he wants. To pry. Dig deep. Learn of all her secrets and who knows what else. He won’t win. I’m safe here. YN had suffered too great a loss yesterday, she was determined to win this game.

“I had time to go over your file YN. There’s a lot to discuss, but I would prefer to dive right in if you don’t mind.”

“I-”

“Very well,” She’d upset him. YN wasn’t even truly aware of what she’d specifically done, but it seemed to matter very little. “It states here you’ve been diagnosed with a personality disorder - at quite a young age too.

“I was ten.” YN’s voice is muted. Her mind blank.

“Do you agree with this diagnosis?” YN shrugs, her eyes move down to the file. She knows what he’s going to say next. Or she can at least predict it: it typically doesn’t vary. No matter how many times she goes through the same process the words and intentions are the same. It isn’t sincere sentiments, but rather rehearsed lies spewed to make her feel better - as if she ever could. No, YN is broken. No fixing her up.

“I don’t. I think you were misdiagnosed.” YN’s eyes widen as they shoot back up to meet Kang’s. “The main reasoning behind this is because of your apparent lack of empathy, but that isn’t true either is it, YN?” Her mouth felt dry, she struggled to swallow the saliva building up. There was a build-up of breath in her lungs which was starting to become painful and she felt her throat tighten. “It’s a survival tactic. An effective one at that - if I may be honest.” So many thoughts were rushing to the forefront of YN’s head. So many memories. Stop. She wanted to scream. Please stop! She felt like she was going to throw up. Kang bent over, his face so close to YN's that she could see how dilated his pupil was: only leaving a sliver of his iris shines through.

Why is he doing this?!

“You feel something YN. It’s okay to feel things. You aren’t with your mother anymore anymore. You aren’t with your brother anymore. You’re safe and I know the next time something happens you’ll do the right thing.”

YN’s eyes were red, brimming with unshed tears as Kang’s words bounced around her head. “Dr. Kang -” She chokes, a sob threatening to escape, but the man doesn’t allow her to finish. “Our time is up. Pick up your referral at Joy’s desk. I will see you on our next appointment.” The smile given is full of sadistic glee.

YN didn’t know how long she had spent wandering around the city. Last she knew she had passed the bus stop and convenience store from last night. If she were smart YN would’ve gone back to her apartment. She didn’t want to though, not trusting herself to be alone. It had been mid-afternoon when she had left Kang’s office. Now it was pitch black with only a few people walking down the streets and cars passing by. Her phone was tucked away in her bag, YN couldn’t muster up enough energy to reach for it to know her location. The tears she shed had long ago dried, though their evidence remained clear to see on her face due to the streak marks and reddened nose.

Several voices were speaking to her, memories, all pulling her in different directions. One by one, YN blocked them out until only three remained. Her brother’s: “You’re not sick.” Dr. Kang’s: “You’ll do the right thing.” Lastly, the faintest one of all - hers: "What do I do?" She had muttered it without realizing it. A cry for help that traveled through the wind, searching for an answer or a sign. She would be granted one.

The scream was so loud, it tore straight through the foggy haze that had settled in her mind and YN found herself frozen in place. Glancing upwards, she noted that a few feet away to the left was an alleyway. That was it, wasn’t it? Yet her feet wouldn’t move. Her brother’s voice echoed so loudly that it barely allowed her to breathe much less move. Until, a stronger, much more powerful one broke through - “It’s okay to feel things...I know you’ll do the right thing.” Her feet were moving before YN had even a second to dwell on her decision. The alleyway was, deceptively long, but YN could see several silhouettes just from the entrance. Quickly she dug her hand into her bag and pulled out her phone, dialing emergency services but hovering over the call button. YN didn't even know where exactly she was - nor did she know what was going on either. It wouldn't do well to just rush in, thankfully about ten feet inlay a giant dumpster which YN crouched behind.

Another scream echoed off the brick walls, a cacophony of laughter followed it. There’s more than one. YN had hoped it was a robbery or something simple, now she realized just how in over her head she may be. You can still walk away YN. Just walk away. Cautiously YN moved to sneak a glance. There was a singular lamp attached to one of the buildings that illuminated most of the alley. The faint light didn't allow her to make out specific features, but it was enough for her to bear witness to the disturbing scene. Seven men were standing all loosely crowded around a young couple: a man and woman whose bodies were severely bruised and beaten. The man's skull was cracked open with blood profusely leaking from the side of his head. Several teeth were scattered on the ground and his hand was tightened around his abdomen which seemed to have been cut as well. The woman beside him had most of her clothing ripped and large bruises on her side, an indicator of broken ribs. Her eyes moved deliriously as she muttered to herself.

YN’s attention lay entirely on the victims until she witnessed a crowbar fly through the air and land on the man’s leg, with a sickening ‘crack’ that had YN feeling nauseous. The man was too out of it to do anything but let out a small howl of pain. Her previous assumption had been right, there were seven men: all standing there with blood-stained clothes and mocking the man. There was something familiar about them, but YN couldn’t pinpoint what. All of them cheered as the man’s now dead body slumped to the side. Her phone had been long forgotten, YN observed everything now with a morbid fascination. Taking advantage of the perpetrator’s lack of attention the woman stood up slowly and bolted, her heels clicking loudly on the pavement and alerting them their prey had gotten away.

None of them moved - they simply observed her and YN watched in shock. Why aren’t they chasing her? Would they actually… By now the woman was only a few feet away from the entrance, she passed by YN and must've caught sight of YN's hunched over the figure for the woman's head snapped towards her. Causing both women to miss the figure dashing in their direction until it was too late. The woman was harshly tackled to the ground, her head bouncing off the pavement in sickening motion. There is a glint of something in his hand before a dagger plunges into the young girl's body multiple times. In a desperate move, she extends her hand reaching out towards YN begging for help but YN remains frozen. Eyes wide and teary as she cowers as close as she can to the wall, shaking her head she begs the woman not to speak. Begs her not to draw the perps attention. Please don’t!

“Please help me.”

The perpetrators head snaps towards YN and she finally sees him. He's tall, lean figure, plump lips, cat eyes, and ruffled blonde hair. The blood splattered across his face revealed the dark truth behind his angelic features. His dark hooded eyes trail across YN's body, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. The blonde man looks like a predator savoring its next meal. Before he can pounce YN takes off running, unfortunately, he captures her with ease. Caging her body against his own, pillowy lips part and it dawns on YN she has never heard him speak before.

“Caught you.”

Just like that their game has come to an end, surely YN’s life will too. The two of them are so enraptured in each other, they don’t notice the figure slowly standing up and grabbing the abandoned knife on the floor. Not until the blonde man’s body sags slightly and YN notices the woman standing behind them. Don’t. She wants to say, furious that the woman wouldn’t have run away - escaped when she had the chance. For YN couldn’t bear another dead body on her subconscious. The blonde man turned around with pure rage steaming off his body, upset that his prey would dare to fight back. His arms gripped her head and with the slightest flick of his wrist, he broke the girl’s neck. When he turned back around to face his prize, he was shocked to find her expressionless staring at the corpse right in front of her.

YN came to a disturbing conclusion: She wouldn’t have died if she hadn’t helped me. As she once again made eye contact with the monster before her, all YN could see was her reflection in his eyes. Hanbin was right.

The man stepped forward and YN stepped back, crashing into the wall. His hands gripped at her sides, nails digging into her flesh harshly. He was formulating a plan, thinking about how best to kill her - YN could see it. It seems the universe had decided to take pity on her, or further condemn her, for just as his eyes were beginning to light up, the rest of the group made their presence known. “Jimin let’s go. The fun’s over.” Jimin? There was something familiar about that name.

“Funs not over yet, boys.” As if she weighed nothing, Jimin grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder. YN struggled against him, aware that if she couldn’t handle one man, there was no way she could survive seven. “I finally found my pet.” What? When Jimin finally put her down, his arms encased her again showing her off to his friends as if she was some shiny new toy, they could look at but not touch. As YN glanced at them she found she recognized some of them, they’re from the bus. At that moment she realized that death had been following YN for a long time and even if she hadn't stepped into the alleyway tonight, their paths would have crossed eventually.

“Ah, so you’re the girl Jimin’s been obsessed with.” The tall tan one with curly dark hair spoke, his low baritone voice was mocking in nature.

“She’s not that pretty.” muttered another one, with rounded eyes and a tall nose.

“Now, come on kookie. Don’t be mean, she’s a lot prettier than what we’re used to.” The third man’s tone was higher pitched, lips stretched into a heart-shaped smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“What do you think we should do, Namjoon?” spoke the light-haired one dawned in all black. His eyes darting over to the tallest member, his platinum hair shining brightly in the dark alleyway.

When Namjoon spoke it was deliberate and calculated, his eyes boring into YN’s, his words dripping with implication. “We should take this one to go.”

Distantly YN could hear the wailing of sirens rushing towards them before Kookie stepped forward and delivered a right hook to her face, making her lose consciousness.

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izzyfandoms · 4 years ago

Text

Follow The Red String Path

SHIPS: Lomile, side Royality

CHARACTERS: Logan Sanders, Emile Picani, Roman Sanders and Patton Sanders

WARNING: Nothing

GENERAL TAGLIST: @quillfics42 @aj-draws @phantomofthesanderssides @phlying-squirrel @sly-is-my-name-loving-is-my-game @because-were-fam-ily @imtryingthisout @a-creepycookie @emo-disaster @littlestr @spooky-scary-virgil @fuyel @mimsidoodles @soupgremlin @aroaceagenderfluid @birdsbookshiddeninrealbirdsskin @quirkalurk @gingers-trashy-stuff @iinyxtello @justaqueercactus @melodiread @mrbubbajones @glassferns @pun-master-logan @gayturtlez

Masterpost

A Series Of Soulmate AUs Masterpost

The tug at the string tied around Logan’s finger wasn’t an unwelcome one.

An unexpected surprise, sure, but not a negative one. It made Logan look up from his textbooks that were laid out in front of him, and he smiled at the string that no one else saw. Then, he quickly curled his ring finger inwards, tugging the string back. Hopefully it was enough movement for his soulmate to feel, too. It would be nice for them to feel the same comfort he did, so he hoped they could, though he would never admit that aloud.

(Logan had a reputation for being serious and uninterested in relationships, and he wanted to make sure he kept that up.)

He took a moment to watch the taut red string: one long straight line that would eventually lead right to his soulmate. His gaze followed it across the room, up to the opposite wall that it passed right through.

One day, he would follow that string to find his soulmate, but he didn’t know when that day would be.

“Hey, hey, Lo!”

Logan straightened up, pulled from his thoughts, and he turned to look at his friend, Roman, who was sat just beside him.

“What is it, Roman?”

Roman grinned at him. “You staring at your string again?”

Logan felt his face warm, and he looked back down at the textbook between them.

“No,” he lied.

Roman laughed, clapping him on the back. “No need to lie to me, specs. You know I know you better than that. You may have everyone else fooled, but I know what a sap you are.”

“I am not a ‘sap’,” Logan argued, making quotation marks with his fingers. “And I also believe that you are being a massive hypocrite, here. You and Patton are the ‘saps.’”

“You say that likes it’s an insult!” Roman announced, in a much louder voice than he should’ve had in a library. Someone shushed him, and he shot them a sheepish smile and a wave, before turning back to Logan and lowering his voice. “And I am sure that when you meet your soulmate, you’ll be even worse.”

“That is a ridiculous notion, and also, frankly, impossible.”

“Well, you know what they say, opposites attract. And you are going to need the sweetest of soulmates to balance out your sour personality.”

Logan glared weakly at Roman. “Why am I friends with you?”

“Because I’m amazing!”

“That is debatable,” Logan mumbled. At Roman’s overly offended reaction, he sighed. “We are supposed to be revising for our exam this Friday, not having a friendly conversation.”

Roman leant back in his chair, tipping it onto its back two legs. “Psh, who cares about a dumb exam-”

“I do.”

“-all I care about is love! And since I have already found my soulmate, it is my job, as your best friend, to help you find yours.”

Logan gave Roman a flat look. “That is what the string on my finger is for. I will know them when I meet them, so there is therefore no reason to actively seek them out myself.”

“But that could be when you’re all old and grey! Don’t you want to find them now, so you can have even longer together?”

“I will find them when I find them,” Logan said flatly. “Now, we are going to revise, or you will fail math and Patton will be disappointed you. Do you want Patton to be disappointed in you?”

Needless to say, that was the one thing that could get Roman to study. He was always consistent in that way, and Logan was glad that he at least had that to help motivate his best friend to revise with him. Roman wasn’t the best at math, but helping him was good practice for Logan’s desired future as a teacher.

But when Patton arrived at the library and joined them about half an hour later, the studying was clearly over, as Roman was far too distracted by Patton’s curly hair and pretty smile – both things that Logan had listened to his best friend ramble about on many, many occasions – to pay any more attention to the textbooks. Logan tried to keep studying for a few minutes afterwards, but even he had trouble concentrating with a loudly flirting couple beside him.

It didn’t help that they kept trying to include him, which usually he would appreciate, but today he was trying to study, so it wasn’t very convenient.

Logan sighed, closing his textbook and catching the attention of Roman and Patton, who had been holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes for an amount of time that Logan would consider excessive.

“I don’t think we’ll be getting any more studying done, today.”

“Aww, don’t look so grumpy, Microsoft Nerd,” Roman said, letting go of one of Patton’s hands to place his on Logan’s shoulder. “You don’t need to revise, you’re already a genius, you’ll ace this test.”

“Yeah!” Patton agreed. “You’re so smart, Lo!”

Logan sighed. “Yes, well, that will only take me so far, so I was hoping to get some more studying done, but I suppose I’ll have to finish my revision at home.”

“Or,” Roman said, throwing his free arm around Logan’s shoulders. “You could come back to my house with us, and have a Disney movie marathon with us!”

“Ooh, yeah!” Patton agreed.

Logan pulled a face. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to intrude, or – what's the phrase? – third wheel.”

“Aww, don't worry, Lo, you’re always welcome to hang out with us!” Patton said. “If anything, I’m the third wheel, ‘cos you guys are such great friends!”

“Oh, darling, don’t say that!”

“Okay, okay, we can all be the third wheels. We’re a tricycle!”

“I do not think that that’s how it works,” Logan commented as he collected his books and returned them to his backpack. Roman had forgotten to bring his own textbooks to their little library study session, so they’d had to share, which was a common occurrence.

Patton didn’t go to the same high school as them, but the other nearest one, so he and Roman didn’t have to travel far to spend time with each other, and did so almost every weekend. Logan was often invited, too. He liked to pretend he was being dragged along – he had a reputation to maintain, after all – but nobody was fooled.

“So, does that mean you’re coming, specs?”

Logan swung his backpack over his shoulder, making sure to hook both arms through the straps, before pushing his glasses further up his nose. He sighed.

“I suppose I can stay for one movie, but then I really must return to my studies.”

Both Roman and Patton cheered loudly, the former raising his hands triumphantly in the air (including the one still holding Patton’s), causing the two of them to be shushed by someone sat nearby. Roman huffed, and Patton apologised sheepishly, but Logan hardly noticed as his attention was suddenly captured by something else: his string.

It was moving.

Now, movement wasn’t too uncommon of an occurrence, but it was moving quickly, sliding across the room from one wall to another.

“Hey, nerd.” Roman waved his hand in front of Logan’s face. “What are you looking at?”

Logan turned to him, blinking. “I...” He swallowed. “My string, it’s moving.”

“Moving?”

Patton gasped, his whole face lighting up. “How quickly?” He asked.

“Much quicker than I have ever seen it move before.” Logan returned his gaze to the red string, which continued to move across the library, still through the wall. He allowed his hand to follow the motion, though there was nothing actually pulling him, so his friends could have a better understanding of its speed.

“Oh. My. Stars!” Roman’s eyes were bright. “You know what this means, right?” He asked excitedly.

“I- I think so,” Logan said, stumbling over his words in a way he didn’t often.

“They’re close!” Patton squealed. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Lolo, you have to follow it!”

“Yes, yes!” Roman agreed. “Come on, we’ll go with you!”

Logan opened his mouth a few times, taking his gaze off the string for a moment to look at his friends for answers. They both nodded supportively.

“Uh... uh- okay.”

“Yes!” Roman pumped his fist in the air.

“Go on,” Patton made a shooing motion with his free hand. “We’ll follow you, start moving before you lose them!”

At that, Logan began to do something he’d never done once before in his life.

He followed the string.

Out of the library. Down the street. Around the corner. Across the road.

He quickened his pace as he could feel in his gut that the string was getting shorter and shorter. He didn’t check behind him for Roman and Patton, but he could hear their footsteps and words of encouragement, though his mind was racing so fast he could barely process what he heard.

Was he really doing this? Did he dare get his hopes up, was he really about to meet his soulmate?

He tugged on his string, hoping that his soulmate could feel the sudden pull.

A moment passed, and then he felt them tug back. An answer.

It filled his heart with a hope that he would never admit aloud, even to his closest friends. Roman’s teasing about Logan being a ‘secret romantic’ would increase tenfold if he ever realised it was actually true.

Logan followed the string with his eyes, watching as it cut right through a building to his right. He took a moment to pause and think, calculating his path, before he decided to continue down the pavement he was stood on and turn right. He heard Roman and Patton slow and stop behind him, but before they could say anything, he started running again.

As he ran forward, his shoes thumping loudly against the concrete below him, his breaths short and quick, he watched – wide-eyed – as the string changed too, like his soulmate was moving parallel to him, though at a slower speed, so it was moving slightly behind.

He reached the end of the street and then turned a corner.

Roman and Patton were lagging behind – Patton wasn’t the fastest runner, and Roman would never go ahead without him – but Logan couldn’t focus on that.

He ran and ran and ran and ran.

He turned and-

Whack!

Logan collided with someone else running, and they both tumbled to the ground. He fell on his right leg and arm, and the first thing that crossed his mind when he hit the ground was that he would probably end up with some nasty bruises.

“Oh, gosh! I am so, so sorry,” came the voice right in front of him, sheepish and apologetic.

(A teenage boy, likely around the same age as Logan.)

Logan huffed, rubbing his arm. “It’s quite alright, I was the one who wasn’t looking where I was go-”

He cut himself off mid-word when his eyes landed on his string. It was no longer taut, like it had been every other day of his life, now loose and running across the ground, looping around itself and no longer cutting through anything.

He followed it, and froze in place when he finally laid eyes on the person on the other end of his red string.

From ring finger to ring finger.

From soulmate to soulmate.

“Oh,” Logan spoke in a strangled voice.

“Oh,” his soulmate repeated, in a much softer voice that made Logan’s heart skip a beat.

His soulmate was a teenage boy about his age, with a beige cardigan and a pastel pink tie the same shade as his dyed hair. He had big, round glasses, and his eyes were just as wide and surprised as Logan was sure his own were.

Logan wanted to say something, anything, but stumbled over his own words like he’d suddenly forgotten how to speak, and his soulmate seemed to be having the same problem.

He heard footsteps approach, quick and stopping just behind him, though his soulmate didn’t seem to notice them as his eyes were glued on Logan’s face. Logan hardly noticed, too, as he was also far too focused on staring back at his soulmate.

“Wow,” Roman laughed when he caught his breath. “You two have the same glasses!”

#me #writing #lomile #royality #soulmate au #sanders sides #cartoon therapy #logan sanders #emile picani #roman sanders #patton sanders #human au #high school au #fluff #first meeting

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inawickedlittletown · 4 years ago

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Alone Together - meta/review

This was such a good episode! I think while I thoroughly enjoyed 4x01 and the way that it got us back into the rhythm of things especially with, you know, a pandemic happening, 4x02 got us back into the usual balance of emergency and personal aspects.

Spoilers below:

The episode begins with news coverage and it’s a good way to jump right into what’s happening and give us a recap to last week. And then we meet the three roommates. I can’t be bothered with remembering their names, but they were fun. The dynamic there is interesting and of course, this leads into some really awesome shots of the Hollywood sign breaking and the mudslide. The whole sequence is such a good opening for the episode and it sets our scene well. While I don’t have any complaints, this emergency is smaller scale to the tsunami and the earthquake of the past two season openings, but that isn’t much of a problem when we consider that they shot this in the middle of a pandemic. So, it works.

What I found most interesting about this episode, and in a way how it continues the stories that were begun in 4x01, is that we delve further into the personal. Not every character is featured heavily, but we get small and big moments with all of them.

Athena:

The struggle that Athena has faced since the end of last season has been handled so well. Her trauma and how it lingers on her and yet doesn’t change how strong and fierce and amazing she is, is amazing to watch. It’s inspiring. Having Athena be right in the midst of everything especially when she wasn’t supposed to be just fits so perfectly. Having her contrast with Sylvia who is afraid of leaving her own house, and having Athena rescue Sylvia and herself and not give up, not even when the voice of dispatch was her daughter asking her to save herself. I just love Athena so damn much. She went through a journey in this episode and while I don’t think that her trauma is over, I think she will push herself to move forward and move past it. If not just for herself, then for May.

I also really appreciated that we got a moment where Athena gives her approval of David by telling Michael that David looks tired. It was such a nice touch. The Athena and Michael relationship has been developed so well from S1, to a place where they are both with other people but can still be family.

And finding out that May made the choice to be a dispatcher over going to school to be about her mom felt absolutely right and I feel so much for both of them and both sides, but I do have to say that May’s outlet for her lack of control in her life/the life of her loved ones is at least healthy and it’s making a difference.

Lastly, I will never not be fond of Bobby and Athena — the way that Bobby was allowed to go search for her personally and that moment when they saw each other. His promise to always search for her. After everything Bobby went through during Athena’s attack, it’s easy to think about how difficult this was for Bobby.

Chimney:

The other big focus of this episode was Chimney. 4x01 set up the living arrangements and it was immediately apparent that while Chimney had his reasons, that he didn’t need to be as set on that. After all we’re told that both Eddie and Hen went back home to their kids, so Chim should have gone home to Maddie and his unborn baby.

It’s nice that we begin this conversation with Buck and Chim, instead of directly involving Maddie. We already know how Maddie feels about this — she misses Chim and wants him around.

Chim’s joke about his “bad joke” being a “dad joke” was perfectly in line with his type of humor and it set us up for the conversation to come in which we learn that Chim’s whole problem is not just concern about the pandemic, but a deeper fear that he won’t be a good parent. His convo with Buck certainly offers some insight into his worry, but also the willingness that Chim has to do absolutely anything necessary for his baby, whose gender the characters and us, the viewers, don’t get to know yet.

The rescues that Chimney and Buck end up going on begin with Chimney — not Buck — hearing a baby crying. And just like with Athena, the emergency itself gives Chim more insight into himself and into his situation and into what he needs to do. He rescues the baby, finds a bunch of pregnant ladies, and then goes on to deliver a baby and while talking to the mother, I think Chim finally gets to understand what the importance that being present for Maddie means.

We get a very sweet moment where Maddie arrives home and finds Chimney already there and the whole thing is just emotional enough both from Chimney’s perspective of just how pregnant Maddie is and Maddie’s surprise and joy to have him there with her. They really are the sweetest together. And by the time that we’re in the closing parts of the episode and we see Maddie and Chimney on a video call with the new roommates — uncles to be Buck and Albelt, it’s clear that they’re settled together and happy and that Chimney knows better than to argue about coffee.

Hen:

Ms. Henrietta Wilson knows how to emote with her eyes. We first see her reactions to Chimney’s bad joke and just her general demeanour and it’s all perfect, and then gets better when she’s reacting to Bobby’s facts about the Hollywood sign. In a liveblog post I said this was very Buck and I stand by it. Not just the rattling of facts, but the need to research a new place in some way.

But where it gets good is when we see Hen in the middle of the drama among the roommates. Hen does so much with just a slight widening of her eyes, or a look in a certain direction. The timing is absolutely perfect and is practically alone in making that scene funny.

Other than these small moments we don’t get much of Hen in this episode, but we do get the sweetest moment towards the end where we get to see Hen and Karen’s daughter, Nia. Not only is this little girl adorable, but with just a couple of lines, I’m sure she’s stolen every viewer’s heart. And to add to this, the love and pride that Karen feels for Hen radiates. I cannot wait for the show to go further into Hen’s experiences on her road to becoming a doctor.

Bobby:

Bobby mostly plays the part of a secondary character to everyone else’s story. We see plenty of him and we learn that he’s the one with facts about the Hollywood sign. Mostly, I enjoyed that he played a part in finding Athena and I think it was an interesting choice to have him keep his composure and be professional. In some ways this relates to May and the conversation that May has with Maddie about the need to put feelings and personal stuff aside to do the job. And yet we know that after what Athena has recently gone through, that none of that could have been easy for Bobby.

Eddie:

Very little Eddie once more. I’m honestly not concerned about it to be honest. I’ve seen a lot of talk about how little he shows up in promo stuff and all that, but I just think it’s important to remember that this is an ensemble show with a rather large cast and that it’s entirely possible focus on his character will come in other episodes. And to consider that he’s one of the characters that was chosen for the cross-over.

But we did get to see minor Buck and Eddie interaction, and more importantly we got to see Eddie and Christopher.

And I think it was so important to bring Carla in, even over video, because she really is a huge part of Chris’ life. It does lead to the question of who is taking care of Christopher while Eddie is at work? How is school being handled for him? And it was just so lovely to see Eddie fall asleep at a bedtime story too.

Buck:

He is just so damn smart. Who would have thought to follow the feedback to find that baby? Buck is the kind of character that takes in the variables and finds a way to problem solve. He’s the kind of smart that you want and need in a crisis. And he’s also very cognizant of what’s going on with Chimney and his sister enough to be able to try and get through to Chimney about how he needs to move back home. I just love the consistency of having Buck be research crazy, quick to figure things out, and still at times a dumbass. It’s what makes him so perfect.

I also appreciate that he’s called out for having too many rules by Albert and I just want to know all about the rules that Buck would impose on those staying at his place other than the sharing of chores that is mentioned in the episode.

I’m also very curious about Buck and his therapist, the covid crush that literally everyone on the internet scoffed at and figured out even before last week’s episode aired. We were all right. It was fun to see all the crazy theories, though. But I do find it interesting that Buck feels he needs to hide the therapist from everyone because that isn’t really about what he and the therapist might be talking about, as much as it is about not wanting to be judged for needing a therapist.

And his feelings are absolutely valid. Not because I think anyone in the 118, or Maddie, will judge him for needing it, but that they do sometimes her pushy with things and wanting to know more — we see that already with the covid crush thing — but I think it’s also to do with not wanting to explain himself and all of this is even more valid with the knowledge that we have about Buck’s parents showing up.

But, the fandom at large has wanted Buck to talk to a professional for a long time, so I think we’re all very happy that he’s getting help. And I’m also very glad that we got the reveal in this episode and it wasn’t drawn out and made out to be something it isn’t for much longer.

Dr. Copeland. They really know how to pick names on 9-1-1, don’t they?

But of the small clip we get to see of her, it is clear that she is helping Buck and Buck begins the therapy session we get to see by admitting that Dr. Copeland might be right about him hiding his true feelings and Buck, holy hell, what does that mean?

Because, it could literally mean anything. It could be about his sexuality and discovery about his romantic feelings about a fellow firefighter. Or it could be that it’s about how much of himself he hides away or doesn’t present to the world in light of, you know, all the trauma that he’s faced and that we’ve all wanted addressed. This could also tie in some way to his past and that doesn’t have to take away from possible reveals about his sexuality. Mostly, it just makes me more and more excited for Buck Begins.

Overall, an excellent episode. I love the things it touches upon and how the show isn’t steering directly into a deep focus on covid and instead giving us these moments of things have changed and this is how it is now from seeing everyone in masks, to seeing Hen going to her class online, and even down to Buck’s therapy happening over a screen. It is excellently handled when it comes to David and Michael and not only in the confirmation that they are living together in spite of the possible contact with the virus, but in how we see them handle that. Michael taking care of his man. All of that was lovely.

The episode closed out on an amazing note, giving us these momentary glimpses into where everyone is and their familial spaces and the love and acceptance felt there and all the small tidbits and hints at what may be coming up.

#911 fox #911 meta #911 spoilers #911 on fox #spoilers

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autumnblogs · 4 years ago

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Day 43: Openbound

We’ll principally be doing Act 6 Intermission 3 today, so expect lots of pictures in this one!

Believe it or not, I initially didn’t like Openbound very much; I felt like it kind of dragged on my first readthrough, and generally had a pretty hard time getting myself to care about the Dancestors. They’re a pretty unsympathetic bunch.

Then again, lots of Homestuck characters are pretty unsympathetic! I’ve been really feeling that in the second half, as retrospect allows me to view a lot of secondary characters through the lens that we’re not intended to get attached to them.

That said, Openbound is actually pretty key to helping us understand the second half of the comic, I think, and makes explicit a lot of the themes that it explores, and how it builds upon the first half.

I think that the theme of Openbound as a self-contained work within Homestuck that we can use as a tool to decode Homestuck can be concisely stated like this; “Nostalgia and a desire for unity with the past causes toxic stagnation.”

So, aside from the introduction that we’ve already gotten to Meenah through the short conversation she had with the other kids, this is our first real opportunity to get to know her! Boy is she obsessed with money.

Money, like Cake, is a symbol that is associated with the Aspect of Life. As an aspect principally associated with Raw Power - the power to do what you want, unfettered by the stringent restrictions that are associated with Doom - it’s natural that Life would be associated with money.

The origin of money in history is pretty nebulous; it precedes the invention of writing, so any theory concerning its invention is ultimately conjecture. What I think is interesting about money is that the move toward a monetary economy in history mostly (but not always) happens as a result of the fact that it is way more efficient to collect taxes; the state mints standard coins, only accepts taxes in the form of standard coins, and propagates them into the economy by buying goods and services from the market.

It’s a tool of government, and even though Meenah may abrogate her inheritance, the Princess can’t escape her birthright. Money offers control, security... and power. What makes all of this extra interesting is that money is effectively worthless in the afterlife. Here, there’s actually nothing for her to really buy or spend it on; anyone can dream up whatever they want with ease.

It’s a nice bit of callback humor that Meenah has the same reaction to discovering the Thorns of Oglogoth that Rose does, but unlike Rose, Meenah actually does destroy them on the spot.

For being so headstrong and dangerous, there are ways in which Meenah is really pretty surprisingly sensible.

Lord English can destroy ghosts - this has always been a pretty disturbing thought for me. I may have said something to this effect before, but if I haven’t I’m a free-thinking Theist - raised in the Church, and largely independent in terms of beliefs, but I’m still pretty convinced that there is some kind of life after death. It doesn’t bother me nearly as much in works that have final death as a general presupposition, but it always bothers me when some kind of eternal life after death exists in a setting, and can be arbitrarily denied by evil beings with some power or another, like how some Demons and Liches can destroy or devour a soul in Dungeons and Dragons.

In Homestuck though, it fits with the themes established by the ways in which everyone God Tiers - spiritual power can be pretty arbitrary, and generally signifies very little about the moral worth of the one who has it; it does not intrinsically elevate the one who has it. It fits with its general criticism of power and the powerful, whether that’s the Mayor’s hatred of Kings, or the associating of corporatism with the worst parts of Jane’s characterization and Crockercorp in general.

Lord English has the power to destroy ghosts and end the lives of immortals not because he has attained to any kind of heightened spiritual awareness. He’s just some douchebag who through cosmic serendipity was in the right place at the right time to become basically all-powerful.

I adore Meenah’s spark. Who gives a fuck if Lord English is invincible? She knows exactly what she’s going to do when she gets her hands on him, and she’s got a plan from the outset. I think it’s also interesting the way that even though Meenah is absolutely taken by the spectacle of power, it isn’t sufficient to make her want to join up with English. Only soft power works on Meenah Peixes; emotional intimacy, friendship... keeping her entertained. All of these are the actual way to moderate her violent and dangerous personality.

While neither Rose nor Meenah is a parallel character to either Gendo or Rei from Neon Genesis Evangelion (I think, actually, that Dirk is the character who most strongly parallels both of them), this bit reminds me of the way that Ritsuko describes both of them;

Rose says of herself and Meenah, “You’re not very good at this, are you? ... talking to people.”

Ritsuko says of Gendo and Rei, “They’re not very adept (at)... living, I suppose.”

The same can really be said of a lot of characters in Homestuck, particularly the ones who primarily find their identity in some form of power-seeking. Whether it’s Rose, or Dirk, or Meenah, or even someone as innocuous as Jake, none of them is particularly adept at living.

Rose is pretty conciliatory with Meenah; given her attraction to danger and darkness, it’s probably not surprising that she makes such an obvious pass at Meenah in spite of the fact that she probably knows what their relationship was in another life.

Further evidence that Rose is the horniest Homestuck character.

“you know how it is with ancestors

they just kind of hold this inexplicable power over you”

Dave continues to progress down the path of not giving a shit, as did Sollux before him.

He’s not quite to the level of reluctance that he eventually adopts, of choosing to just not engage with English at all.

Gods are, to some extent, aware of the various narrative forces that govern their existence.

About the only thing this piece of nasty trash has in common with Karkat is the extent to which they both blabber, and he helps create contrast with the other, somewhat more likable dancestors. Kankri is pretty much openly contemptible, and really in the worst way. I’m almost inclined to call him a concern troll because of the extent to which his verbal essays exist purely to make him feel better about himself. Any time it comes time for him to listen to people who historically actually suffered from the systems they were involved in, Kankri shows his true colors, slut-shaming and misogynistic.

Unsurprisingly, The Other Thief is also the vector for English’s ideology in her session, “turning us against each other to make us stronger.” While Kurloz may be a worshipper of English, and Damara may have thrown in her lot with the demon because of her nihilistic despair, Meenah (rather like Dirk!) is clearly driven toward a life of violence, and restless action for its own sake.

Now we’re starting to get some insight into Feferi’s style of rulership, which in turn, probably gives us some insight into Jane. For Feferi, leadership means taking power away from the people you’re leading if it seems like they have the potential to hurt themselves (or to be a drain on society if left to their own devices). It represents a violation of agency, perhaps not so severe as the kind that Vriska perpetrates usually.

Feferi and Jane are the sort of people, I think, who want to create a perfect world - but it’s important to them that they’re the one who’s creating that world, and less important that the world is perfect for anyone in particular. Just perfect.

https://homestuck.com/story/5288

John’s whole self-conception, and especially his conception of himself as a man, and someone who might be growing up to take on the same roles as his Father, is tied up in the icons of dadliness and masculinity in the movies that he likes.

So we should expect that his disillusionment with his past will change the way that he thinks about his future, and what he’s going to do with it. It’s a shame that this line of questioning never goes anywhere in Homestuck proper, but I’ll use it as evidence in the “John/June Egbert is trans” folder. Reminds me of how my decisive lack of affinity for the Boy Scouts serves as a nice little retrospective bit of evidence in my own trans narrative.

Based on the number of trans Eagle Scouts I know, I feel like there’s a certain extent to which it be like, a fast-track to figuring that out about yourself, like, you tried all the boy stuff and just decided, nope! Not for me.

https://homestuck.com/story/5290

Man, especially if we continue to read this section of Homestuck as conflating the characters and the audience, this whole section reads as John not just having a meltdown about Con Air, but also generally having a meltdown about his own story so far - everything he’s done in Sburb, etc. It just all feels lame and shitty in retrospect, when it was something that was kind of exciting at the time, at least up until the point where his loved ones all dropped dead there at the end.

It turns out that there was nothing particularly edifying about John’s suffering.

https://homestuck.com/story/5300

Teens can be such monsters. It’s the anniversary of Bro’s Death too. Davesprite is probably as broken up about that as John is about Dad, but it’s hard for boys/men to talk about that kind of thing with each other.

Cronus is even more of an incel than Eridan. He may be the most singularly contemptible character in Paradox Space. Do I hate anyone more than Cronus? No, I think I do not.

I won’t have a lot to say about the middle leg of Openbound; it’s relatively empty of substance, and not much that happens in it is ever relevant again compared to the first and second legs.

I like to think that this leg of the journey is, more than anything, a chance to ruminate on some joke characters who were already parodies; parodies of parodies, a joke made at the expense of an existing joke. The kind of thing Dirk Strider would write, basically.

Hey check it out, the Year of Our Lord 2012, and Andrew was starting to show some mild sensitivity in his choice of words. Just mild enough to have the lowest character in the story show a tiny bit of sensitivity himself.

This leg of the adventure does give us some more insight into Meenah’s character. Just like Vriska, she’s all about being a hardass super-murder, until she starts causing problems for the people she actually cares about.

Being Evil Sucks.

This is a really weird sentiment for Karkat to have in light of like, everything else about the latter half of the comic. I mean, he hasn’t exactly had the epiphany yet that the ideas that he has about being a leader are kind of awful and shitty, so it’s possible that he’s talking the Condesce up to avoid thinking about that. IDK.

He also immediately claims he’ll leave behind the meteor to go and join Meenah’s army, so maybe Karkat is just in a pretty low place in general? That tracks.

Karkat’s little conversation with Terezi explains at the two thirds mark of Openbound exactly what this whole thing is about.

Almost the entire second half of the comic is about examining the character’s guardians, and their relationships with them. The Guardians - Grandpa and Bro especially - are hyped up to be these outrageous badasses, both in-and-out of universe, and their ambivalent relationship with their kids creates this ambiguity throughout the comic about whether the kids are worthy, whether they’re living up to their parents’ legacy - and it’s the kind of thing that plagues them throughout.

But the thing is, Ancestors can be lame, or even terrible. They’re not really anything to aspire to, and the image of success that they project onto the world is one of learned confidence, and usually that only if they’ve really managed to make it.

Even the best parents are flawed, and instead of trying to measure up to them, growing up healthy usually means learning what those flaws are, and committing not to reproduce them.

Parents don’t suck; they can be awesome, and generally speaking, for a long part of our life, they’re all we’ve got. It’s hard not to love them. But we shouldn’t turn them into idols.

(On another note, it’s one hundred percent fitting for Terezi’s Ancestor to be an outrageous coolgirl. Terezi is perpetually anxious about being cool enough, the sort of person who is breathlessly fun to be around, who commands the attention of everyone around her, and she’s surrounded by them wherever she goes.)

https://homestuck.com/story/5340

John’s distress leads him to dream about his dead Dad, and boy is he angry. He spends a lot of the second half of the comic seething in rage directed at whomever is responsible for all the suffering he and his friends endure, dishing out beatdowns toward those responsible, but I’ve never gotten the impression that these little outbursts of his are particularly rewarding for him.

https://homestuck.com/story/5358

That was quite a blow. He knocked out like a tenth of Jack’s health bar.

https://homestuck.com/story/5387

Depending on where you’re standing some really totally different things can matter to different people. From Vriska’s point of view, the things that happened back when she was alive totally don’t matter at all anymore - only the matter of Cosmic importance that is fighting Lord English.

But the stuff that matters to the people she left behind, and the suffering she’s responsible for - especially for putting Terezi in a position where she had to slay her - all of that still matters very much to the people who are alive, which is what makes her self-conception as someone who is on the side of the angels now really... not sit well.

She clearly hasn’t changed all that much. She just thinks, as usual, that now that things are even, now that the score is settled, things can go back to the way they were before.

https://homestuck.com/story/5388

Tavros and Vriska are really bad for each other in general. Like, it’s not good for her to be around someone as pliable as Tavros is, and it’s plain to everybody that it’s not good for him to be around her either; whenever he’s around her, he apes her bogus inflated self-esteem in all the worst ways.

https://homestuck.com/story/5397

Tavros’ explanation of what Vriska does suggests that storytelling has become kind of a ritual for her - a means by which she is attempting to connect with her Ancestor, by performing the same actions she is, miming her - still the same old Vriska.

That’ll be all for now. Cam signing off for now - join me for the thrilling conclusion to Openbound tomorrow, Same Cam Time, Same Cam Channel.

#commentary #neon genesis evangelion #liveblogging

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throughthewwods · 4 years ago

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100 Days of Productivity 🏖 . Day 19-21

💙 I let my mind relax

💚 I let my body relax

💜 We did mom-daughter bonding stuff

🐾 lots of GSD training

Working more on him walking alongside me instead of in front of me, which he is stubborn AF about.. so much so that he has learned the sound of my feet when I’m about to correct him, but doesn’t care enough to stop 😆

did loose leash training and off leash training.. loose leash I have to remind him to start pulling a lot. Irritating. He does great off leash, which is delightfully surprising.

The socialization is working. He is rarely skittish of people and other dogs now. He’s also gotten better about not disjointing my shoulder when he wants to greet another dog or child.

His self restraint has improved greatly, which is to say that before it was almost nonexistent. Now when I ask him to sit, stay etc. he listens much better for longer.

He’s much less barky

💚 Did a lot of walking

💙 skin care is finally paying off.

A lot of the cystic acne has cleared up and I’m feeling comfortable going places without make up again, which is really nice for my self esteem..

🧡 had a couple more sessions with people on the helpline,

which finally went a little deeper. Unfortunately, both of those people only have a couple sessions left before their part in the study is over. I explain to my research Director that in future studies if we’re only going to offer hour long sessions, which is reasonable, then we should probably offer more weeks because it’s harder to go deep over text when an hour flies by so quickly. Since this has to be entirely non-directive, it’ll usually be chitchat for the first 45 minutes before something of content is shared for me to build off of, but by then I don’t want to open a sensitive topic then leave them hanging. I think our original plan to have ‘on demand’ support, divided up as volunteer shifts behind the scenes, probably would’ve gone better.

⭐️ returned a laptop we had out on loan

📚 got feedback from my stats professor and watched a couple lectures about my final project

🧡 got a reply from my department chair about my letter of recommendation

He said he would work on it next week, which I really appreciate. There are so many things as a first generation student that would’ve been helpful to know that.. you often don’t know you don’t know until the mistake has already happened... Even my efforts to ask people ‘who’ve been there’ questions hasn’t really been enough to circumvent the lack of knowledge that gets passed down from generation to generation. For example… many have emphasized the importance of building relationships with relevant people and that I will need strong letters of recommendation. However, nobody mentioned that when asking for a letter of recommendation, it’s usually with a month or more’s notice. also there are some quirks about the application process that nobody elaborated on.. I’m sure they would have explained, but I guess I didn’t ask the right questions or they assumed someone else would tell me.

So.. My ignorance has me feeling like a bit of an ass and grateful for everyone’s flexibility.

😬😅

The kindness of my department chair got me to thinking about the last appointment with my counselor, which left me adrift with a realization about myself, but no idea what to do with ‘that’. I have no idea what could help with the feelings of despair when I am floundering, barely hanging on wishing I had a support system then having to digest all over again that no matter how hard I work to better my circumstances blows keep coming and no matter how hard life gets, no help is ever coming (mainly grieving that I come from a family that is extremely dysfunctional, so although I feel dauntingly alone at times fending for myself as per usual, ‘this’ is still the better option or that my own familiarity with dysfunction and poor boundaries selected a toxic village; which I’ve since estranged myself from for years now.. These choices are surely healthier, but the isolation is particularly heavy when I’m barely hanging on) … then I shut down, rest until I have it in me to yet again fight the good fight and rise up from the ashes (not a secure foundational to build on.. lots of putting out fires and damage control then rebuilding)

Moving on to less depressing thoughts… 😺🌈🦄🍰

Most of the time I enjoy my alone time, so I rarely get lonely in the conventional sense.

Maybe I could try joining special interest groups on Facebook again for the camaraderie?

RB helps. He is thoughtful in many ways, but mostly it helps to have a best friend again or to feel like there’s finally someone ‘with me’ in this, which has never been the case.

Maybe I could ask fairy godmother for help more often before I’m buried?

However, I don’t like having so many eggs in one basket. I need to branch out. At the same time, Covid prevents me from ‘mingling’

So… my ‘behavioral’ and ‘social’ solutions are what they are..

That leaves the Cognitive

That is the wall I’m not sure how to get around.. For a lot of people the solution is leaning on God/s, which is probably not going to work for me at this phase of my life where I don’t believe in a humanized deity that is concerned with human drama or wellbeing. I can’t change who my family is, but I do make a point to not talk to them, particularly my mother, very much when I am going through a hard time because it pokes the wound and exacerbates the depression. I guess I could work more on processing my grief, but that doesn’t help me with the finite stressors that are actually triggering the hyper arousal stress response. I do have people in my life I can call to chat with, which sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t depending on the severity of my circumstances because their well-intended platitudes feels a lot like someone clapping for you from the dock as you’re drowning, “We believe in you!” Thank you I guess? 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😅 After nobody bothered to call me when I finally was accepted into grad school I have decided several one-sided connections aren’t worth my emotional energy anymore where when we do talk they go on and on about themselves, but clearly couldn’t give a damn about me. It’s ok, but I don’t need that drain.

So these are things I can do for myself that reduce negatives pecking at my attitude.

I just don’t know about adding positive buffers because… refocusing on the people I can count on tends to just sort of remind me how very few there are.. heh. And self-pep-talks, “something something what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” is already burned up fuel at that point of despair.

Then today I realize that i’ve been terribly sad at times that I don’t have supportive friends and family,

but I’ve overlooked how understanding, supportive, and flexible many professors have been.. people within the administration who have been willing to work with me even when I make mistakes and help me find solutions.. supervisors willing to take a chance on me. my caseworker who has known me for over a decade who has always vouched for my character and is going to support my petition for the masters degree scholarship..

💙

when I think about all that cumulatively, I feel..lighter. No, I can’t invite any of these people over for dinner. They’re not the shoulder I cry on,

but their support has been invaluable. I could not have gotten this far without their help and encouragement.

I have not been so alone on this journey.

#journal #my writing #writing #motherhood #parenting #100 days of productivity #studystudystudy #positivemindset #depression #anxiety #generational trauma #trauma recovery #trauma

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levinneheart · 4 years ago

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Partner in Crime

— A scenario to celebrate this blog hitting the 100 follower mark!!!

➳ Description: This is a story between enemies; a middle school friend turned salty, a high school partner turned full debate sessions, and an unfortunate girl stuck in the middle… it seems there is going to be trouble ahead.

➳ Pairing: Akaashi Keiji x F!Reader

➳ Prompt: Enemies to Lovers, Shy Confessions, Scenario

➳ Genre: FLUFF, ANGST

➳ Word count: 2k+

➳ Disclaimer: Pictures used are not ours and are all credited to their owners. Haikyuu characters are owned by Haruichi Furudate.

Prologue: Trouble Ahead

Alt Route: Wit’s End (Tsukishima Route)

➳ Recap: (Y/n) had a choice to make. Go after her broken friendship with a childhood friend, or stay with the new and intriguing project partner…

She decided to stay with Akaashi as her grades were at stake and she wanted to at least get along with the latter since she was going to be the Fukurodani’s manager after the 3rd years have graduated.

I could always talk to Tsukishima later. (Y/n) thought before snapping out of her reverie when she heard a familiar voice.

“Okay. Let’s discuss it after our practice match.” The vice-captain calmly replied. “Is that okay?” To which (y/n) immediately responded with a nodding of agreement. Akaashi shot her with a small smile before walking away and joining his team who looked on with a slight smirk on their faces.

It was gone, that unfamiliar way his heart babbles at her sudden actions. What was it? Either way, she was kinda cu—

Akaashi shook his head softly to hide his red tinted cheeks whilst (y/n) looked on and smiling softly at herself before starting to help the other managers on setting everything out: the chairs, the water bottles, the towels, etc.

Later after practice, they did talk about their topic and settled on the Development of Documentaries in Volleyball as both have aspects of Volleyball and Film. Their interaction was stiff and awkward but they did sort of makeup so (y/n) counts it as a win.

When the night came, Bokuto saw (y/n) walk past the gym he and Akaashi were practicing at. “Hey (l/n)!” Bokuto called out, gaining the younger girl’s attention “Do you wanna watch our practice with Nekoma’s captain? You could assess our skills and gain experience from it!”

(Y/n) thought about it for a minute before smiling brightly. “Sure, Bokuto-kun! I can only stay for a couple hours though, since we managers are gonna cook for you all tonight.” She reasoned out before adding, “Oh! Lemme get my clipboard real quick!” as she runs off to retrieve said item.

Akaashi raised a brow in suspicion at his friend who just smiled innocently at him before the ravennette began playing with his fingers as they invited two more people to practice with them.

(Y/n) came back with her clipboard after a few minutes, she was greeted by a surprising sight: Akaashi is tossing for Bokuto and Kuroo guiding Tsukishima while whipping Lev to shape by making him practice on receiving.

When did the two of them look so cool when playing volleyball? Especially Akaashi. She asked herself as she felt her cheeks heat up. I guess I haven’t paid much attention to him when I became a manager. She rationalized, nodding slightly as if to convince herself.

After their practice, Tsukishima approached (y/n) with Yamaguchi urging him to sincerely apologize while she did the same, bowing her head slightly. “Tsukki, I’m so sorry for not talking to you.”

“No, it’s fine. I didn’t take any effort too.” Tsukishima replies while Akaashi nods to you both as he walks past and stepped out of the gym with a heavy heart.

He had heard about they’re situation from the others and he wanted to give them space to sort out their differences but at the same time, something told him he didn’t like the way they got close to each other.

They may be friends but I’m— Akaashi stopped on his tracks, his eyes widening slightly in realization. It explained everything; the bubbling feeling and the heaviness on his chest. How could he not have known? The answer was in front of him the whole time, yet he didn’t notice.

Reason 1: He wasn’t the type to fight someone.

Reason 2: He could’ve agreed to her suggestion on the topic, yet he didn’t.

Reason 3: She was younger than him, which meant that she was stubborn and yet he couldn’t stop being cheeky and kept on bickering.

Reason 4— Akaashi suddenly realized something that shook his whole core, he only argued to get a response from her… Since they didn’t interact at all from the day they were partnered up.

With this new found information, Akaashi now sees (y/n) in a different light as he begins walking again with a small smile whilst a warm feeling spreads throughout his chest.

(Y/n) sighed after eating dinner with the five schools. Making dinner for all of them was tiring and she immediately felt exhausted from keeping up with the hyper first years that Karasuno and Nekoma have. All she wanted to do now was fall onto her sleeping mat and sleep as she made her way to where the girls room was and knocked before entering. She laid out her sleeping mat while the two third years put on their pajamas before changing into her pajamas herself.

The next day came sooner than (y/n) would have liked. She groaned softly as she turned from her side to her back, her head popped out of the covers before pulling the blanket off her.

(Y/n) stared blankly at the ceiling before blinking once or twice and stretching her limbs to fully wake her up. A yawn escaped from her parted lips as she slowly sat up before dragging herself out of the comfort of sleeping in for the day.

All the managers and coaches gathered around the lounge area as they all prepared for breakfast before eating with the boys then practicing, and the process repeats for lunch and dinner. This became a routine everyday during the training camp.

As days of the training camp passed by, you and Akaashi mostly kept their interactions civil. Although, there’s still occasional bickering between them – it’s not as bad as before.

And when they did argue, the 3rd years would often tease them by remarking ‘how they quarrel like an old married couple’ to which (y/n) immediately denies, effectively and ultimately forgetting about the little squabble with Akaashi while the latter shakes his head in disappointment.

(Y/n) actually developed a somewhat okay-ish friendship with her project partner while her relationship with everybody else is like being the team’s little sister as she is the youngest. While she, Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi remained close. Occasionally, meeting up once in a while.

Bokuto started it all. He immediately bombarded (y/n) with his hyper energetic attitude, slightly overwhelming her with it since she wasn’t used to it as a certain someone from middle school was mean to her.

Then, Kaori and Yukie teaches (y/n) about everything she need to know about managing, including managing Bokuto’s mood swings while Washio occasionally gives (y/n) some wisdom on how to cheer their captain up or gives her encouragement which she appreciate, she actually look up to him and see him as her older surrogate brother.

Sarukui and Konoha offer (y/n) to teach her how to play volleyball while telling her about other team’s strengths and weaknesses, giving her tips and tricks on certain plays.

Ahanori and Onaga immediately became (y/n)’s friends, the three are always seen talking to each other or sitting next to each other during breaks and in between practices as the two males were easier to talk and approach.

On the last day, Tsukishima approached her. “Can we talk somewhere private for a minute?” (Y/n) agreed as he led her somewhere but Akaashi got curious so he followed them. “This isn’t easy for me. I’ve never… not like this. But. You matter to me. A lot.” Tsukishima started.

“Ok? I get that our fight wasn’t easy but you’re my friend—”

“I like you.” He interrupted, cornering her against the wall. “No, I’m not expecting a reaction, I’m just stating the fact that I like you. I’ve been in denial for years now, denying these feelings in my heart but I’m done. I like you. There. It’s out in the world.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “I like you, and if you don’t feel the same, that’s okay too. I’m not expecting you to like me back.”

(Y/n) gaped, her whole face turning beet red before gulping hard at the lump forming in her throat. “Oh, I see. I— uh...“ She shifted uncomfortably, looking everywhere for help.

Tsukishima slammed a hand against the brick wall. Halfway closing her in, but still giving her an out if she so chose. “You what?” he taunted. “Come on, (y/n). You know, you can form coherent words better than that.”

Akaashi stepped in and pulled (y/n) behind him, shielding her protectively as she pecked out from behind, holding his arm before looking at Tsukishima with an expression that said ‘I’m sorry’. He glanced between them and sighed in understanding, he gave (y/n) a wry smile and gave Akaashi a respectful nod before walking off.

For the rest of the day, Akaashi kept an eye on (y/n) and when they all got inside the bus, he sat beside her and held her hand throughout the day. He was doing something on his phone and noticed something heavy on his shoulder, he looked down and saw (y/n) leaning on it. Akaashi smiled, shifting slightly so they can both be comfortable before watching the scenery pass by the window until they reached the Fukurodani grounds.

Akaashi shook her lightly to wake her up, offering his open hand. “(Y/n), wake up. We’re here.” to which she woke up to, instinctively accepting his hand as she didn’t mind the way his hand fits snuggly in hers.

They continue their project; Akaashi does the research on his part while (y/n) does hers while co-editing it to fit their topic together perfectly. They don’t fight as much as before besides the occasional vague remarks from Akaashi that seemed kind of flirtatious?

(Y/n) can’t really tell as she never could figure out how the mind of her project partner works but she did notice that their interactions seemed to be getting more enjoyable. Back then, she was miserable as he pointed out all her weaknesses and mistakes like he already memorized them mentally. Now, he was sort of polite and humbled down in a way.

She approached him to confront him about it. “Do you regret it?”

“What?”

“You know..” she trailed off, struggling to find the correct words. “Everything…?”

He was quiet for a long moment. Heat flooded her face as she opened her mouth to tell him to forget she asked, but he finally said, “Just because we fought doesn’t mean I regretted anything as the matter of fact I didn’t, I enjoyed every single bit of it because I got to be partnered up with you.”

“Yeah.” She said with a bright smile. “Me too.”

Months went by after they got an A+ on their project together, (y/n) was now in the library and looking for a certain book that taught aspiring photographers how to start their own businesses from scratch. She found it on a shelf as she reached up to it, she discovered that she couldn’t reach it. She tiptoed in an attempt to somehow reach over it but failed miserably and when she was about to give up and move on, a hand went above her and grabbed the book she was reaching out for.

“Thanks.” She turned around to face the kind stranger only to see Akaashi was the one who helped her out. “Oh, it’s you, my partner in crime.”

He raised a brow at her before shaking his head softly with a small smile. “Always.” Akaashi replied before wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her closer and placing his free hand on the back of her head. “You’re always my partner in crime and I’m yours.”

“Seems I’ve put myself again in a whole lot of trouble ahead.” (Y/n) chuckled softly before leaning towards him.

“That’s one of your weaknesses too,” He started before continuing, “but it’s too late to back out now.” Akaashi’s warm lip met yours in a slow yet sweet kiss before giving her the book she was reaching for and a brand new blue polaroid camera. Later, (y/n) took their first picture of them together in tribute to all the previous love quarrels they made.

Prologue: Trouble Ahead

Alt Route: Wit’s End (Tsukishima Route)

Tagging: @thesecretlifeoflilly @currentconcern cuz we worked so hard on this collab hahaha and @spiritofthescarletwoods hello 💞🌞 anon

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the-irish-mayhem · 5 years ago

Text

Fosterson Fic Rec Masterlist: Oneshots

The Main Reclist has been split to fix the links that tumblr decided to break if there were too many of them in a single post. I’ll be keeping the main reclist updated (even if the links appear broken) as well as maintaining this list and the list for multichapters.

I need help expanding this list! If you have any favorites or fics of your own of your own you don’t see included in this list and you’d like to submit for consideration, please drop me a line.

List updated April 2020. New additions marked with **

Updated during this wild quarantined time, which should serve as a reminder to everyone to APPRECIATE YOUR CONTENT CREATORS! Leave all the comments and kudos to show our love for everything they do. Big thanks to everyone who recommended and/or created content for this amazing ship.

Rated G/K-K+

**Promise by igi_pigi: Thor visits Jane to say goodbye before he leaves for Asgard. Rec: Bittersweet but lovely post-AOU, semi AU pre-Ragnarok. | 1.1k

**Spooky Nights by igi_pigi: "So what is it about?" Thor asks. "Or are we to go in uninformed?"Jane's eyes instinctively flick towards the blank tv screen. Darcy was insistent about it being a horror movie this time - as they serve as "perfect romance fodder", according to the maniac. Jane has decided to go with the recent one, 'The Conjuring'. [Set a few months after Thor2] Rec: Just sweet, dumb, wonderful fluff. Not an ounce of angst to be found. Also Thor learning about Earth is always sweeeeet. | 3.2k

**Stars and Solitude by igi_pigi: It's Jane's first night in Thor's home, however unusual the circumstances. He wishes to show her somewhere. She thinks it's his room. [Set during Thor2] Rec: A nice lil add on, Thor inviting Jane further into his life. | 3.3k

**Can’t Go Back the Same Way You Came by gumbridge: Loki lets go. This is what happens after. (post-film; basically a fixit fic.) Rec: This is pretty Loki-centric, but Jane is fabulously written, the family unit that Loki gets inducted into makes me very happy, and the fosterson is understated but so important and wonderful. | 20k

**spring will come by LadyCharity: As if grieving over the death of her husband wasn't hard enough, Jane has to deal with Thor's angry, bitter, emotionally shot little brother. Rec: This is literally all pain but god it is so good. You can feel the love binding Jane and Loki and Thor and it is so, so well written. Holy shit. | Content Warning: Major Character Death | 12k

the universe in your hand by amonkeysue: For the free day of Fosterson Week 2019, Thor's finally taking the right chance to propose to Jane. Rec: an adorable little bite-sized proposal fic. | <1k

Who Lives, Who Dies by MissChrisDaae: When the dust settles, who is left? Rec: Post-Infinity War, semi-kidfic. Pretty cute, and brings Jane into the story like she should’ve been. | 1.2k

Morning by MissChrisDaae: Thor and Jane's morning is interrupted by their kids. Rec: Fluffy fluffy FLUFFY Jane and Thor with a whole gaggle of children. | <1k

Trending by MissChrisDaae: Jane and Darcy's work session gets a little derailed. Rec: For the Social Media day of Fosterson Week, a fluffy and silly bit, and feeds into the 2012 Avengers Fic nostalgia. | <1k

ever on and on by often_adamanta: Darcy has to correct three separate people at the reception about their relationship, not younger cousin or sister, but college professor and boss and finally best friend. Jane thinks about their surprise, the second glances they give her, and wonders. Rec: Jane deals with the implications of immortality. Her friendship with Darcy is so potent and real in this. | 3k

Before the Thunder Shook Us by niobium: #6, “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?” #14, “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.” Rec: This is such a wonderful canon-insertion/canon divergence. Just enough fluff and bittersweetness to seem real. | 1k

Private Jokes by MissChrisDaae: Before his return to Asgard, Thor and Jane have a talk. Two years later, Thor misses a chance and Jane has to carry on. Rec: An AOU coda and a Ragnarok fix-it all in one. Feisty Jane and apologetic Thor. My bbs. | 1k

On the Physics of Magical Space Hammers by shinyopals: ‘So what does it mean to be “Worthy”?’ Jane asked. Jane doesn't mind sharing her life with Mjolnir. She just wishes she understood it a bit better. Rec: We’ve all wondered about Mjolnir and worthiness. Jane finally takes the initiative to find out with amazing results. | 4k

Fives Times Jane and Thor Broke Up and One Time They Didn’t by shinyopals: I didn’t know you were in the country, Jane,’ said Jane's grandmother. ‘Of course, nobody tells me anything.’ ‘It’s just a very last minute thing,’ said Jane, which Thor knew to be a lie. ‘I only arrived yesterday-’ another lie, ‘and I’m just on the way to work and thought I’d stop by and see Mom.’ This too was not true. ‘This is my friend Thor,’ she added, almost casually. ‘He’s been helping me with some work so we’re driving into the university together.’ This seemed the most flagrant of all the lies, but Thor decided not to let it show. It's not always convenient to be a relationship, so sometimes Jane and Thor have to make sacrifices. Rec: A giant SUCK ON THIS FEIGE that takes the “Jane and Thor break up” concept to the best possible places. | 12k

Hours Long and Short by shinyopals: The first night, Thor does not sleep. (Written for a post-TDW prompt for Fosterson Week 2017.) Rec: A really wonderful slice of life fic post-TDW. Deals with their trauma so wonderfully, and includes some lovely soft moments. | 4k

#7Days7Hobbies by shinyopals: Thor wants to try out some of Midgard's finest hobbies and turns to Twitter for suggestions. Jane isn't really sure how this is now her life. (Prompt for Day 4: Domestic, for Fosterson Week 2017.) Rec: One of my favorite things that’s ever been submitted for Fosterson Week. I love reading about Thor fully embracing Earth customs, particularly social media, which opal KNOWS is one of my weaknesses. | 5k

A Question of Honor by shinyopals: ‘Paintball?’ said Steve. ‘We could do… that…’ ‘What is that?’ asked Thor. He nuzzled into Jane’s hair. His mead-breath was giving her a headache. ‘It’s a thing- a game… thing. With paint.’ ‘Rogers, stop explaining stuff to Thor, you’re embarrassing me.’ Tony’s voice was remarkably coherent. Must have been drinking sensibly. Bastard. When it comes to deciding whether Earth or Asgard has better warriors, the stakes are high, and Jane is wishing she'd kept her big mouth shut. Rec: TEAM BUILDING EXERCISES FOR THE WIN. | 8k

The Gift Horse by fartherfaster: Sam and Darcy are formally introduced for the first time. Sam says “formally” with some flexibility. And a couch. A couch and a great deal of flexibility. Nevermind, he’s said enough. They met, is what he’s trying to say. Or, Sam's early days with the whole gang. Rec: Mostly a teamfic from Sam Wilson’s POV, which is awesome because how often do you see that. Fosterson is mostly background, but it made me smile so much. | 3k

on the verge of understanding something extraordinary by dirgewithoutmusic: “Jane, you’re an astrophysicist, not a storm chaser,” said Erik Selvig, and he was wrong. She was just an astrophysicist too. (A Jane Foster character study) Rec: I’m relatively certain I read this before and loved it, only it somehow didn’t make the reclist. An amazing, touching, wonderful, stunning portrait of Jane Foster. | 9k

starlight in her eyes by jdphoenix: “You,” she says, voice strong with accusation. “You’re the one who attacked me!” Thor really must laugh at that. “You are the one who attacked me. Or is it considered polite among stars to crash into one another?” Rec: A really awesome take on a Stardust fusion AU. Full of inquisitive Jane and cocky Thor. It gave me really hard vibes from the first Thor film. | 1.2k

a true lady of Asgard by jdphoenix: It's not uncommon for Jane to fall asleep working when she's chasing a new theory or hunting down evidence but the middle of a battle for the future of Asgard is not the time. Rec: Jane becoming a fixture of sorts in Asgard is one of my kinks. Also Jane being friends with Thor’s friends and the people of Asgard. Kink. | 3.5k

Afterwit by RC_McLachlan: Good with patients, bad with relationships. That's what she told Thor before she ripped the name tag from the shirt in his hands and crumbled it in her palm, relishing the way the sticky back clung to her skin before she threw it in the waste bin. She'd never been so right in her life up to that point—the rightest she's ever been was when she decided to offer the crazy blond guy a ride to his mysterious non-satellite in the desert. Or, the one in which Jane and Thor run into Donald Blake. Rec: I am such a sucker for the “running into the shitty ex with the New and Improved Partner” trope and this is that. All of that to such a wonderful degree. | 2.7k

drabbles by freshexes: Rec: Some really fantastic little bits of prose. Great voices of Thor and Jane. Some fluffies, some angst. | 1k

The Good Times are Killing Me by alwaysaprilia: Rec: Modern royals AU. Jane and Thor are perfect in this. The dialogue is sublime, and the interactions made me squee really hardcore. I only wish there was more. | 3.6k

College AU by anthropologicalhands: Rec: It’s kinda more meta/heacanon, but it’s really adorable. | 1k

all’s fair (in love and war) by sweetwatersong: This is what you fight for. This is what you yearn to feel: this moment, this passing of every second, this rush of life and the indomitable strength of the present. Thor is a warrior, born and bred, and he is glad of any battle - and yet, as with all things, even this can change. Rec: A Thor introspect and a really well done second person perspective. | 1k

Five Times Thor Gets His Shirt Off FOR GREAT JUSTICE And One Time He Doesn’t by shinyopals: Sometimes Thor’s armour is more useful when not being worn by him. He definitely doesn’t end up in these situations on purpose. Rec: Please bury me in every single five times fic shinyopals has written. This one might be my absolute favorite. So many fantastic interactions for Thor, not just with Fosterson (which is BEYOND perfect), but the whole team. Plus: naked Thor fighting bad guys in an apron. Also the SamSteve is so strong and I’m in love. | 9.8k

A Discussion of Hypotheticals by shinyopals: Jane and Thor talk about their future. Hypothetically. Rec: I am so glad we’ve made Fosterson Week a thing because this fic is WONDERFUL. Great communication makes me weak, and also so many squee-worthy moments. | 5k

Jane Foster Versus the Internet. Or: Five Times Jane Allegedly Dated An Avenger And One Time She Apparently Did Not by shinyopals: Jane discovers that the internet is The Worst. Rec: It’s the thing I loved so much I made graphics for it because it’s so good. Jane’s interactions with all the Avengers are delightful, not to mention her steady relationship with Thor that is so grounded and real. It’s also freaking hilarious. | 10.4k

Untitled by polyamoryavengers: Rec: Angst and fluff and Jane comforting Thor. *cartwheels into the sun* | 1k

Sexiest ‘Something’ Alive by Niobium: Tony is bound and determined to make sure a human is awarded the title of Sexiest Man Alive (he even has a solid candidate in mind); Jane just wants media outlets to get their science right. Rec: This is absolutely fantastic. Just the right kind of blend of humor, sweetness, and meta criticism ever. | 7.5k

The Hours Filled by websandwhiskers: Ritual and comradery are basic human needs. Rec: Focus on Jane, not a ton of Thor, but pregnant Jane is always a delight. | 1.7k

First Dates? by hariboo: Jane’s not really sure what her and Thor’s first date is? The party or the barbecue? In end does it matter? Rec: I am not a big fan of high school AUs, but if they float your boat, this is definitely worthwhile. | 1.4k | Part of Let’s Be Young Forever series

Of Car Crashes and Coffee by hariboo: “you bumped my car and I’m so piss- oh wow no you’re hot let’s go for a coffee” au prompt. Exactly what it says on the tin. Rec: This made me giggle. Super duper cute. | 1.3k

Tactile Perception by RC_McLachlan: “The day I met you, I knew you would see me.” Her hands find his face, sliding over his jaw, his cheeks, and she brings their foreheads together. “The day I met you, I hit you with my car. Twice.” Rec: *dies quietly* Teasing and cute story telling and just so many good things. | 2k

Clarke’s Third Law by shinyopals: “Of all the people to knock down the stairs, she would pick the practically-seven-foot-tall son of the Minister for Magic who just happens to be the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain.” Jane’s just trying to read every single book in the Hogwarts library in between classes, and she’s not quite sure how Thor happened to her. Rec: I never read Harry Potter but damn it this makes me want to. I just love this. So much. I don’t know how but it happened. I actually really wish there was more? | 3.8k

The Most Daring Prophecies–Dr Jane Foster at TED Talk by Rozilla: A transcript of Jane giving a TED Talk on her experiences of crossing the cosmos, Asgard and her hopes for the future of interstellar travel - as reported on WHIH. Rec: I can’t tell you how badly I wanted this to be real. Fosterson is mentioned a bit, and it makes me smile a lot. | 5.1k

Paradigm Shift by jdphoenix: “Jane’s implementing a ‘new organizational paradigm.’ She does this like once a year, usually when she’s extra stressed. Like after that time your brother messed up NYC.” Rec: cute domestics plus Jane is worthy. | 1.5k

Raging Storm by jdphoenix: Thor knows the moment he touches the hammer that it is not Mjolnir. Rec: A brilliant continuation of Paradigm Shift (above, previously recced) wherein Jane bests Loki and is worthy, plus Jane talking down berserker!Thor. So many of my Fosterson hot buttons. | 4k

Overlap by littlestardust: A moment between Thor and Jane. Alternative summary: Thor is respectful of Jane’s life choices, and also there is cuddling. Rec: Teeny tiny fic, but super cute. | <1k

amazed & confused by tashlae: Dating an alien/god/man who fell from the sky isn’t something to take lightly. Rec: Jane/Darcy centric with lots of talk about fosterson and a kinda sweet moment at the end. | 1k

untitled by ifilovedyouless: jane/thor, modern royals. Rec: Oh my god, the sweetness overload was too much. Also YAS Thor in military uniform. | 1k

Fosterson - dancing by batsonthebrain: Rec: Introspective, sweet, and with a heavy dose of mutual respect. | <1k

Unplanned by hariboo: The first person to hear Jane is pregnant isn’t Thor. It should be, but extenuating circumstances. This happens a lot when it comes to living in Stark Tower. Rec: Very much toeing the crack line. Baby!fic, obviously, plus fabulous Clint, and a semi?redeemed Loki. | 1.2k

clash of the (scientific) titans by anthropologicalhands: Thor brings Tony to meet Jane. Thor admits he probably could have thought it through a little better. Rec: this fic always makes me giggle. Fosterson is mostly background, but the interactions between everyone makes this worth it. | 1k

Through Doors by nayanroo: The Jedi Order knows a good team when they see it, but unfortunately even the best-planned missions always have something go hilariously wrong. That’s when the true strength of any bond is shown. Rec: A Star Wars fusion is always a good idea. The way Jane and Thor play off each other and their bond through the Force is lovely. | 4k

Straight On 'Til Morning by arsenicarcher: Thor and Jane are having a baby. Tony’s conflicted about the whole thing. Rec: Kinda Tony-centric, but I’m always up for a fosterson baby. | 4.4k

hard to keep the rainclouds out by veliseraptor: Rec: A unique view on Thor’s grief and Jane’s struggle to be there for him. Very lovely, very angsty. | 2.1k

Perils of an RPF Life by hariboo: Look, it isn’t that she isn’t excited for Jane, sure she is. But Darcy wonders if Jane ever thinks about that. The fact she’s dating the sexiest E.T. ever. Rec: Darcy’s voice in this is hilarious and touching all at once. Jane and Thor’s caring for each other is so clear and endearing I audibly squeed a few times. | 2k

amazed & confused by tashlae: Dating an alien/god/man who fell from the sky isn’t something to take lightly. Rec: Jane and Darcy friendship is a lot of fun. Jane’s pondering of their relationship seems very characteristic of her. | 1k

On The Unsubtle Nature of Fish Ties by Niobium: Fancy clothes shopping for your alien boyfriend should be easier than this. Or, how Thor got his red velvet jacket. Rec: Fosterson is mostly background, but cute Jane/Darcy/Pepper interaction. | 3.3k

Be Safe by MissChrisDaae: Thor and Jane have a contingency plan for emergencies. Rec: Speculation/AU for Age of Ultron. Baby!fic, and is just so damn cute. | <1k

It All Happens Here by MissChrisDaae: Her very first year of teaching, Jane Foster gets an unusual bonus in the form of one of her students’ extremely attractive father. Single dad and his daughter’s kindergarten teacher au. Rec: super fluffy and just adorable. | 7.5k

Remembrance by Are_you_ever_not_going_to_fall_for_that: Thor and Jane take a walk and come across something that sparks memories. Post The Dark World. Rec: Jane and Thor talk about Loki, and the lack of heavy angst is refreshing. | <1k

Traffic jam by kes: When you’ve been fighting omnicidal aliens and the bureaucracy, a getaway is in order. Unfortunately, flying from A to B isn’t always possible… Rec: domestics. cute domestics EVERYWHERE. | <1k

nothing is ever convenient (except to make things uncomfortable) by anthropologicalhands: After Thor returns, there is still the matter of responding to Richard. Rec: The awkwardness of dealing with Richard made me smile. A very smile inducing fic. | 1.3k

Jane on Top by Rozilla: Jane Foster is asked to lecture at the SHIELD Academy, but she feels her old anxieties and worries begin to creep in- but it’s okay. Darcy has her back, not to mention it appears she has a fan club at the Science and Tech Division of the SHIELD Academy! Rec: An unapologetic Jane-fest, which is my favorite kind of party. Fosterson is background, but very relevant. Darcy is a cool friend. | 4.1k

leave this star crossed world behind by anthropologicalhands: Sif visits Jane with an offering. Rec: Jane/ Sif friendship, and they talk about immortality. Great interactions and insights on fosterson. | 2k

Measured Uncertainties by plushbug: Gap-filler, applying to the 2011 Thor movie. A shot at what might have gone missing from the rooftop scene between Thor and Jane Foster, after his 'rescue’ from the SHIELD base. Fits between “…and Asgard. That’s where I come from.” and “Thank you, Jane." Rec: A good fill for the movies, explains some comic-verse continuties. Curious Jane is a lovely person, and Thor relishes in giving her knowledge. | 4k

halfway between the gutter and the stars by verity: Thor pulls his phone out of his pocket and lifts it above them to capture a picture of the moment, their hair lit by the sun, Jane’s soft smile next to his beaming grin. The Rise filter suits the image perfectly. “I shall title this 'THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE,’” Thor says, typing carefully on the touchscreen. “With the small image of your planet, flanked by sparkling stars." "Well, we abandoned a geocentric model of the galaxy hundreds of years ago,” says Jane. "'THE CENTER OF MY UNIVERSE,’“ Thor says. He amends his caption and selects the options to crosspost from Instagram to Twitter and Facebook. Rec: Okay I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this. So much. I love the world-building that Avengers + social media allows for. Also, cute Thor and Jane and team stuff plus Neil Degrasse Tyson and George Takei. So much good stuff. | 2.2k

Catalysts by Niobium: Meeting people winds up being a catalyzing event in Jane Foster’s life more often than not. Rec: Well-written Jane, and super supportive boyfriend Thor. I love it when he treats her like a genius. | 2.1k

The Reconstruction of the Mind by Niobium: Jane Foster’s introduction to astronomy doesn’t start with a backyard telescope or a shooting star or the arm of the Milky Way strewn across the nighttime sky, but with an Alexandrine woman named Hypatia. Rec: Jane-centric, and very well done, as per usual with this author. Fosterson is more background, but they have some lovely moments. | 4.6k

Asgardian Cautionary Tales for Young Maidens by Niobium: Jane discovers that Asgardian love stories aren’t exactly romcoms. Rec: Jane and Thor sharing love stories. I audibly squeaked at their cuteness. | 2.3k

the new millennia by hoosierbitch: Thor’s life was measured in centuries, not days. Rec: Post-Dark World, very Thor oriented and introspective. Jane helps him through his grief over Loki. Angst on angst. | 1.1k

the drumming inside her by hariboo: she can feel everyone looking at her, waiting for her to break or give up. they don’t understand. she made a promise too. Rec: oh my god Jane being determined, Thor pining a bit, Heimdall being awesome, and a super sweet reunion. | 1.3k

Starchild by empyrean: One night Jane teaches Thor the basics of Western astronomy, and Thor tries to describe Asgard. Then the Bifröst breaks, and Jane isn’t having that. Rec: Jane and Thor bond over the stars, and Jane doesn’t take it sitting down when the Bifrost breaks. Love the simplicity and the power in this. | 1k

There by Barkour: Jane has found Thor and in the finding, she has gone somewhere she’d never dreamed she’d see. Rec: Jane geeking out over Asgard, plus some really cute banter, and Thor being a gent as always. | 1.9k

Numbers and Lines by Sheeana: Jane Foster visits Avengers headquarters to help install a program she designed, and gets caught up in helping with their latest problem. Rec: Jane and Natasha get some great action together, and the Fosterson is handled well. | 4.9k

Important Meals of the Day by hariboo: or alternatively: Five Breakfasts With Jane and Thor and them feeding their family and friends. Which sometimes lately seem to be the same thing. Rec: domestics! Fluff that makes me want to stay there forever! I love this author’s way of writing fosterson. Also Darcy is so great in this. | 6.2k

Fire in the East by Maat: He finds that there are sweeter things than mead and glory and the fierce bright colors and rich textures of Asgard. Rec: Best Thor-being-on-Earth-longer fic that I’ve read. Short, poignant, sweet, and painful. This is beautifully written and left me wishing this was how the canon story could have gone down. | 1.1k

Few So Generous by galaxysoup: After Odin falls into the Odinsleep, Frigga takes up her husband’s spear and the rule of Asgard. Rec: Jane and Thor from an outside perspective, and a different version of events. Though the focus is not on fosterson outright, it is still a very good fic. | 2.7k

we fall like stars by jadeddiva: All that is left of him now is the extra chair pulled up to her makeshift fire pit, which she never sits in and hasn’t had the heart to move. Jane, and the search for Thor and a greater understanding of herself. Rec: A character study of Jane and how Thor affected her life. Lovely and poignant. Fluid writing style. | 3.1k

Not "Functional” or “Elegant” by Niobium: Jane Foster has worked some bad jobs in her career; working with Stark Industries’ R&D is a vast improvement. Rec: Jane-centric, and gives her a great backstory. She and Thor are adorable as always. The author clearly respects Jane as a scientist, so that shows through a lot, which is amazing. | 1.6k

Jane Foster’s High School Reunion by Niobium: Jane Foster has a high school reunion to go to. Rec: Jane and Thor are adorable. Thor is a gentleman, and Jane gets to laugh in the face of a jerk. Very satisfying. | 5k

Nature and Nurture by nayanroo: What’s better than solving a physics problem that may well get you another Nobel Prize nomination? Having a baby on the same day. Rec: Part of an amazing series (full rec with multichapter fics below) but can be read as a standalone. Featuring pregnant!Jane and adorable and far-too-accurate expectantfather!Thor. The fluff is lovely. Features all of the Avengers with some lovely domestics. | 7.4k | Part of in progress series, The Kingsverse

don’t we all want happy endings? by hariboo: Thor is thinking about Jane, Steve cares (because Steve has Feelings about Lost Lady Loves*), and in the end it’s a team effort. Rec: We get the closure on Thor contacting Jane after the events in New York. Sweet and painful and just lovely. | 3.4k

Legacy by me: A generation later, a budding social scientist tries to figure out Jane and Thor. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. Both Jane and Thor have passed away in this fic. | 2k

Rated T

**Heed the Signs by igi_pigi: Thor wakes up from a nightmare. Is it just a dream, or something more? [Post Thor2, Pre Thor3.] Rec: A heavy, meaningful setup to a Thor 3 that never was. | 4.8k

**Heartless by igi_pigi: Everything reminds her of him, it's funny. Wherever she looks, whatever she thinks of, usually and especially to get her mind off him, will eventually lead to him. [Set the night before Jane's date with Richard in Thor2.] For Day 6 of Fosterson Week - 'things that make you think of them' Rec: A really interesting and fabulous rumination from Jane about Thor’s impact on her life. | 1.4k

**Her Healing Touch by igi_pigi: Jane doesn't really realise that the Aesir are a bit relaxed when it comes to physical hurt. And freaks out over what Thor thinks are just petty bruises of battle. Ending with a little confession from Thor. [Set after Thor2] Rec: A neat take on Asgardian culture, love the way Jane’s care connected to Thor’s past. | 2.5k

**Qeryana by Domenika Marzione (domarzione): Thor and his efforts to live on Midgard, as opposed to just defending it. Rec: Thor’s visceral struggle of living in a culture not his own, but is ultimately still hopeful and positive. | 3k

**First and Foremost, Red by RC_McLachlan: There's a reason Jane and Thor break up. It's not a great one but it's the right one. In the year that follows, Jane carries on, doesn't win a Nobel Prize, defeats Thanos and saves the universe, and finally allows herself to be a little selfish. Rec: YAAAAAS I want ALL the Jane Saves Everything in Infinity War/Endgame fic. ALL OF IT. It’s so satisfying and good. | 9.7k

**Gangráðr, Faðmbyggvir Friggjar by tsukinofaerii: Less than a week before her wedding, Frigga warns Jane of ancient Asgardian rituals she and Thor must undergo before her marriage ceremony. Jane and Thor call on their friends for help as they face what might be the challenge of their lives. Rec: Just an absolute fucking delight from start to finish. Hilarious and amazing. Absolutely the best of the 2012-era Avengers fics. | 19.1k

The Courage of Stars by always_a_queen: Half the universe turns to dust. Thor goes to find the one person who is his whole universe. Thor/Jane Post-Infinity War and during/after Endgame. Spoilers for both movies and Ragnarok. Rec: god this is so heartbreakingly perfect. A wonderful fix it that gives a perfect little taste of what we might’ve had if Jane had been rightfully included in these movies. Jane does pass away at the end of the fic. | Content Warning: Major Character Death | 4.3k

Family Values by shinyopals: ‘It would have been kinder to leave me dead,’ Loki informs her one day. Jane Foster, who’s just revoltingly kissed Thor goodbye, told him she loves him, and called him a disturbing pet name, snorts derisively. ‘He brought you lunch; quit whining,’ she says. Loki isn't sure how he feels about his family, these days. Rec: The best take on Loki ever. His relationship with Jane is fabulous, and the interplay between him, Thor, and Jane is AMAZING. What a freakin treat this fic is. Post-Infinity War AU. | 3k

The Second Law of Thermodynamics by shinyopals: ‘What have you done?’ he asks. He still attempts to sound grave, but with Jane it is hard not to give into smiles.‘Done? I haven’t done, well. I mean. I have done some things. But it’s not bad. I was just curious! And nobody stopped me. I mean, they even welcomed me. So. I didn’t do-’‘Jane,’ he interrupts, laughing and leaning down to plant a kiss on her mouth. ‘You are absurd. I missed you. Tell me.’ Rec: Pardon me while I try to physically scream this fic into existence. It’s perfect. Jane loves science, and Thor loves Jane. Post-Thor 2. | 1.8k

Storm Warning by shinyopals: Then he strides to her and presses a kiss to her lips, taking her face in his hands as he does and holding her close. ‘You planned this?’ he asks. ‘Your morning’s work was not astrophysics, then?’She gives a guilty smile. ‘I wanted to, you know, surprise you.’ Thor gets ~romanced. He kinda likes it. Rec: GOD THE FLUFF. THE. FLUFF. PURE AND GOOD. | 3k

Sakaar by MissChrisDaae: Jane's been stuck on Sakaar for a year and a half. So Asgardians are a welcome sight. Rec: A really original way to get Jane involved in Ragnarok. Jane + science for the win. | 1.3k

Lab by MissChrisDaae: Thor likes spoiling Jane. Rec: For the Jane on Asgard day of Fosterson Week, a short and sweet lil tidbit! | <1k

Domesticity by MissChrisDaae: Little moments around Avengers Tower. Rec: I literally gasped in delight with how much this made me nostalgic for the fluffy Avengers Living in the Tower fics of 2012. | <1k

The Prince(ss) and Me by asoulofstars, MissChrisDaae: Prince Thor of Asgard just wants a little time to feel normal before he has to marry the mysterious Princess Jana of Ameos. So, he runs away from home and enrolls at Harvard University as Donald Blake, where he meets Jane Foster. Jane is clever, kind, and everything he wants, but can never have.Princess Jana of Ameos has spent her whole life studying incognito, getting the best global education possible under the alias of Jane Foster and trying not to think about romance, or the fiancé waiting for her back in Europe. Then Don Blake comes along and throws that plan out the window. Rec: A funky Modern Royals AU. Charming in some nice ways, and I like the slow-building tension. | 17k

Misunderstandings by writerblocked: She looks up at Thor, who grins warmly at her, and looks at their surroundings again. “This isn’t my apartment,” she says. Thor’s grin grows wider. “I know,” he says back. Rec: Newlywed!Fosterson fluff. | 1.8k

Turtures in Aeternum by shinyopals: ‘Legend tells that some unlikely souls are known to pause in their work for reasons of leisure,’ deadpans Thor. ‘History does not say what trials they faced.’ Asgardian science is giving Jane a headache. Thor persuades her to take a break to see some of the sights with him. Rec: Asgardian worldbuilding (literally) via Fosterson field trip. I love everything in this. | 5.5k

Five Times the Bad Guys Interrupted Thor and Jane's Date Night and One Time Tony Freaking Wishes They Had by shinyopals: ‘I have told Steve,’ Thor says to Tony as he’s leaving to go back to his rooms, ‘but I thought I should tell you also. Jane and I plan to institute the ritual of ‘Date Night’.’ As always, Thor sounds like someone’s severely uncool father trying to be hip when he uses any slang invented since the Civil War. Tony's been an Avenger long enough to avoid deliberately tempting fate, even if he doesn't actually believe in fate. The universe is just plain cruel. That's why he knows to be prepared for the worst Hydra can throw at them whenever Thor and Jane make evening plans. Rec: IT’S SO FUDGING CUTE. I CAN’T. IT’S CUTE AND HILARIOUS AND PERFECT AS ALWAYS. | 4.7k

Unexpected Arrival by shinyopals: ‘Jane-’ Thor cut himself off, opening and closing his mouth without managing words. Her name on his lips sounded so familiar; warm and deep and like nothing else mattered. An undercurrent of nerves there that she could still hear after all this time, that she didn’t think anyone else would be able to. She wanted to run to him, bury her face in his neck and jump back in time. Back before the break up - not enough time for each other with the universe in peril. Back before the baby. The baby she still sometimes wondered if she should have terminated to save them both this moment. Rec: The angsty and painfully yearning babyfic that you never knew you needed. | 2k

Steadfast as the Stars Above by jdphoenix: It was not meant to be like this. With him so small and weak, fighting every second to find purchase on a tiny world that spins faster than he can fathom. He wanted to be strong for her. Rec: A fabulous use of the Soulmate AU that completely slots itself perfectly into canon. | 8.3k

too poor for silver, i have a copper tongue by venndaai: “Maybe you don't have the perfect words all the time but, you always have something to say, right? You never have to, have to stop and think about it, and you never stumble over your words or anything.” He squinted at her. “I thought such things simply aspects of Midgardian speech, which you know I am not well versed in.” Jane sighed. “They're not supposed to be.” Rec: A story featuring an explicitly autistic Jane Foster. So wonderfully done. Full of empathy and love and kindness and warmth. | 1.3k

Gift by spikewriter: Jane looked at the brightly colored rug on the floor of the farmhouse in the Hudson Valley they were still moving into. “I like it,” she admitted with a bit more enthusiasm, picturing how her six-year-old self would have run screaming around the room in glee at such a gift. Rec: Some post-TDW fluff with bonus Darcy inclusion. | 1.5k

to candle incandescent as you pass by sweetwatersong: The legacy of King Tristan and the Star Queen Yvaine is not a mere tale in Stormhold, a fantastical portion of the kingdom's history. It lives and breathes in the blood of their descendants, in their long lives and graceful aging, in the ruling King Odin and his son, the Crown Prince Thor… Rec: A Stardust/Huntsman/Thor fusion that isn’t so much a full fic as it is, as the author describes, “a sketch.” Still a really lovely read, a great blend of the films. | 5k

Raiment of The Gods by randomcelt: They say the clothes make the man ... or the god. But sometimes, they do the most for his friends. (Or, a tale of all the times someone else wore Thor's clothes and the adventures necessitating such a development.) Rec: A great Thor character piece. A heavy emphasis on Thor + the team which I love. Runs you through the full gamut of emotions in the best way. | 10k

How to Quantify by Rozilla: It turns out Jane has a personal top ten list of favourite equations - and a nice expanse of hot Norse God to write them on. Rec: Super sweet and also contains the phrase ‘who said science never got you laid’ so. Yep. | 2k

this new bravery by hoosierbitch: For alfadorisawesome, who requested Thor/Jane “about to hook up with someone who doesn’t know.” This is my favorite piece so far. <3 Rec: Incredibly well done Trans Jane Foster. I am such a sucker for open lines of communication between partners, and that’s exactly what this is. Thor is incredibly sweet, and this story establishes his very nonbinary opinions on gender which I LOVE, but he still makes an effort to understand Jane’s experience. I love this fic so much. | 1k

The Hammer and the Ice by grav_ity: In the course of her short and mortal life, the heart of Jane Foster has been twice touched by the sons of Asgard. Rec: I adore AUs where Jane was in the Avengers. This is a short flashfic, but really lovely. | 1k

A Royal Wedding by MissChrisDaae and Science_Thunder_Lightning_Love: After three years, ten months, an alien invasion, a cosmic event, and a baby, Thor and Jane finally make it to the altar. Rec: Ridiculously cute fluffies. | 7.5k | Part of the Convergence series

The Thunder God Job by fuzzy_paint: Jane and Thor are thieves. Rec: Oh lawd, the AU I never knew I needed. Beautiful characterization with a rich world they’re placed in. I only wish it was 200 chapters. | 16.2k

there was a star danced by tosca1390: This is the familiar rhythm of her days; the coffee shop until one pm, five days a week, then class and the lab, then home or the library. Here, in her last year with a future dark ahead of her, she doesn’t see anything to change her ways. Jane and Thor, meeting at a coffee shop. Rec: College/Coffee Shop AU. Bless the AU gods. Sly little Shakespeare references. Thor and Jane being cute, sweet idiots. | 6.2k

Proximity Alarm by fayedartmouth: Thor comes back to Earth. Jane thinks it’s great. Except all the times it isn’t. Rec: It’s a great writing style. Jane and Thor are awkward, adorable, and passionate in a realistic way. Them navigating how to be together is a challenge that not all authors can rise to, so this is a great piece. So much yes. | 13.7

Never So Empty by iwillavengeyou: Thor has traveled the nine realms and seen many things in his centuries of godhood. What could possibly make everything seem so empty? Rec: Wow, just no. This hurts. This is not cool. Ow. Ow. Transcends angst and ends up somewhere much worse. Read if you’re into self-flagellation or are making a reclist. I literally yelled “Wow rude” at the conclusion of this fic. Major Character Death | 1.5k

An Ancient Gesture by Niobium: Jane and Thor come up with a tradition for dealing with situations where a social function gets to be a little too much for either of them. Rec: Super smiley, stomach flutter inducing fic. Fluff upon fluff, but also Asgard culture/worldbuilding! Yay! | 2.8k

Five Times Jane Kinda Sorta Accidentally Slept With An Avenger, The One Time She Didn’t, And the Many (Many) Times It Wasn’t Even a Little Accidental by shinyopals: Some people collect Avengers trading cards. Some collect action figures. Jane Foster, almost entirely without meaning to, has them all beat. Rec: If you’re not convinced by that title and summary, I’m not sure I can help you. Hilarious, in character, and kinda cute. | 9.3k

Well Remembered by Rozilla: Jane’s met Tony Stark before. Rec: Cracky and hilarious. | 1.1k

you may end up wanting more from this life by tosca1390: Everything is cold where it was once warm, and Jane is at a loss. Rec: Not sure why I haven’t put this beautiful thing on here yet. Deals with their separation, and a great character study of Jane. Angsty. | 1.6k

The Hearts of Stars and Thunder by MissChrisDaae, Science_Thunder_Lightning_Love: Rec: A Snow White and the Huntsman/Thor fusion. Really great use of characters, and all of the medieval battles and fosterson abound. | 7.7k

You Get One Phone Call by MissChrisDaae: Following the Battle of Manhattan, Jane gets a phone call. Rec: Post-battle strain, but then suddenly fosterson cuteness hits you like a wrecking ball. | <1k

Abs of Thunder by Unknownnobody32: During a flight on-board Stark’s jet, Jane learns how turbulence, pasta sauce, her Thunder god boyfriend, and his rock hard abs can soon become a recipe for embarrassment all thanks to bad timing. Rec: Takes washboard abs to another level. God, this is just too funny. | 2.1k

London, underground by Maybug: Clint Barton meets some familiar faces and has a very bad day hunting the jotunbeast left behind in London after the convergence. Rec: an awesome outside POV on fosterson, plus badass science Jane and her science assistant Thor, and awesome Clint. | 2.6k | Part of the Fosterson Files series

We have loved the stars to fondly by Maybug: Jane and Thor are up to something on the roof of the Tower. Tony thinks he knows what it is, but doesn’t see why he should be the one to tell them to stop. Rec: Outside POV of fosterson. Basically Thor does cute/dangerous things for Jane’s happiness. | 1.8k | Part of the Fosterson Files series

change places by coffeesuperhero: Jane and Thor get in the way of a Stark experiment. This goes about as well as you might expect. Rec: Body swap madness. So many cute moments though, plus some implied sexytimes with swapped bodies “for science.” So much yes. | 3.1k

Slowly, We Adjust by katsumi: Jane Foster leaves the lab on Friday exhausted, overworked, and petrified that she won’t get the grant proposal for her wormhole experiment finished in time to get funding. So, of course she gets rear-ended, because that’s just the kind of week she’s having. Rec: Protective/Worried Thor is best Thor. Reassuring Jane is best Jane. So much angst/cute. | 1.4k

Put a Ring on It by fuzzy_paint: Jane makes Thor a wedding ring. Rec: What it says on the tin. | 3.9k

The Pretty Birds Have Flown by beanarie: "Jane never pukes, not when she first wakes up, not at any other time of day. She has a cast-iron stomach and wicked stable inner ears, and morning sickness doesn’t stand a chance.“ The one where Thor knocked Jane up that night they chilled on the roof, and offscreen Frigga swore Heimdall to secrecy in the interest of protecting everyone involved. The All-Father’s house has a lot of enemies, okay. Rec: Heartbreaking, fluffy, and feelsy. Batten down the emotional hatches. | 2.2k

Jane Foster and the Impossible Library by Niobium: Jane, Darcy, and Thor find a peculiar library, and their afternoon takes a turn for the bizarre. Rec: This one’s wild from start to finish (I say that lovingly), but as always, Niobium delivers on fantastic characterizations. Not super-duper shippy, but so worth the read. | 12.4k | Part of the Jane Foster Works series

Northern Climes by Tyranusfan: Six months after the Avengers saved New York from the Chitauri invasion, Thor must convince Odin to return him to Earth. Rec: Jane and Thor doing cutesy couple-y things. The author captures well the eager awkwardness of a new couple while remaining true to their characters and story. | 4.3k

nowhere to go but up by anthropologicalhands: It is not uncomfortable, waking up with Thor’s arm draped over her waist, their legs entangled under the sheets. It is inconvenient when she wants to get out of bed or, at the very least, look over last night’s data. Rec: So very fluffy it makes me want to roll in it. Adorably domestic, too. Jane at her scienceing finest. | 2.3k

Late Night Waiting by hariboo: Jane didn’t often get home late. Rec: A very sweet and simple Jane/Thor that makes their relationship seem very grounded and real. Also, it is so sweet it makes my teeth hurt, and then I just want more. | 2.1k

Uru by sheffiesharpe: Thor cannot look after Jane, no matter how he wants to. Hogun offers a solution. Puente Antiguo receives another unexpected visitor. Rec: The author makes a really strange concept work brilliantly. Jane and Thor’s pining is frustrating and well-written, and the writing sizzles with unresolved sexual tension. | 6k

Star-Crossed by websandwhiskers: A vignette taking place during "Avengers”, after shawarma, before Thor returns to Asgard with Loki. Thor and Jane have their reunion, and discuss their future. Rec: Jane is an awesome person, and Thor respects the hell out of her. One of the best portrayals of Jane Foster that I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. | 1.7k

The Morning After by fuzzy_paint: "I can’t believe we’re doing this,“ Jane says. "Can you believe we’re doing this?" Rec: Even without much in way of dialogue, Jane and Thor’s devotion is plain. We get a little view of domestics, too. | 1.7k

The Observable Universe by Sarea Okelani (sarea): As an astrophysicist, Jane studies the observable universe for work, but in her free time what she likes to study is a bit closer to home. (Or: Jane has a low tolerance for stupidity. Clint and Natasha take exception to being called stupid.) Rec: Not a ton of overt Jane/Thor, and is mostly an outsider POV on Clint/Natasha, but there is lots of team shenanigans and there is definitely a lot of affection for Thor from Jane’s POV. | 10k

Deal by GreenVelvetCurtains: Jane introduces Thor to the great Midgardian tradition of being made to remove your clothing when you lose a hand of poker. Everybody wins! Rec: I got a huge kick out of this one. Toeing the line of becoming crackfic. Oh, how I wish there was a smutty follow up. | 2k

Before the Fall by verily-thor: Jane helps Thor prepare for Ragnarök. Rec: Oh god, if you’re in the mood for some sadness, come on in here. Tragic without being grotesque, stripping it down to the bare emotions, and two people who love each other more than anything. | <1k

top gun is not a movie; it’s a lifestyle by hariboo: jane and thor got that loving feeling. Rec: an AU that is reminiscent of Top Gun, which is a fab movie. Awesome Jane, and adorable Thor. | 2k

A Brief Introduction to Asgardian Dinner Parties by jonesandashes and pentapus: This is the first Earth-Asgard bonding opportunity since that time Loki punched interstellar relations in the face, twice, and the king and queen of Asgard are here, and they are her boyfriend’s parents. Jane is absolutely not going to get drunk at this party, is the point. Rec: This fic makes you smile, then laugh, then cringe, then do it all over again. | 4.5k

Destiny, Disrupted by me: Loki never sends the Destroyer to Midgard. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. | 3.5k

Rated M (these won’t contain the smuts unless otherwise noted)

**The Teardrop by igi_pigi: Post-Infinity War reunion of Thor and Jane. Forewarning - heavy angst. [Set right after the movie] Rec: Angst, melodrama, and desperation ahoy. Contains some smut | 4.2k

all the best distractions by fuzzypaint: They've found a rhythm when they share Jane's lab, Jane with her science and Thor with his own work, and though it is easy to be distracted by each other, usually they're both very capable of avoiding such things. Usually. Rec: Cunniligus in the lab ;) | Contains smut | 1.8k

Patience and Poker by Rozilla: Jane and Thor sneak off from one of Stark's parties for a quiet chat. Nope, just kidding, hot tub sex. Snarky hot tub sex. Best kind. Rec: What it says on the tin and it’s delightful. | Contains smut | 4k

A Deal with the Duke: An Epilogue by hariboo: Thursdays were busy days around the house, but today was the first day of winter much. Thankfully, the skies were clear, without a hint of storm, but the wind was sharp and bit into his cheeks. He was looking forward to a warm meal and seeing his wife, curling around her in bed for rest of the evening. Rec: Historical romance AU. A nice slice of life bit. Contains minor smut | 2.8k

Ray of Light by evieeden: To Thor, Jane shone brighter than any star in the sky. Advent fic for 18th December. Rec: A sweet, introspective fic from Thor’s POV. | 1.5k

just memories to hold by tosca1390: When the dust and light and smoke clears, the roof of Stark Tower is still intact. Jane can still feel the surge of power in her fingertips, thinks she could hear the songs of Asgard, feel the chill of Jotenheim, as the bridge built itself through Yggdrasil, Thor calling her name across realms. And then, a shadow falls over Jane. Rec: A really, really great post-Avengers reunion fic. Contains some smut | 3.6k

set with the stars by hariboo: jane tries to teach thor earth’s stars. tries, being the operative word. Rec: Jane and Thor getting distracted by each others’ sexy is my favorite thing. Contains some smut | 1.5k

It Could Be Sweet by hariboo: Jane and Thor traverse their last year of high-school. However, they didn’t expect it to be together. Rec: I am not a big fan of high school AUs, but if they float your boat, this is definitely worthwhile. Contains some smut | 7.8k | Part of Let’s Be Young Forever series

Thunder Whispered Low by Niobium: Rec: I love it when Thor talks about his magic, and the bridge that makes between him and Jane. Contains minor smut | 1.5k

Specularity by Niobium: Jane’s bad day improves significantly with a little reflection. Rec: A great slice of life fic, really, really nice interactions. Contains very minor smut | 3k | Part of the Jane Foster Works series

My Blood is Singing by Niobium: Sometimes Thor pushes a storm a little too far. And, sometimes, the storm pushes back. Rec: Jane and Thor at their domestic finest, with some internal angst and the simple comfort found with another person. Contains smut | 2.9k

All my faces are alibis by agirlnamedchuck: Thor is strong and stubborn and she thinks she could be a good king. Maybe even a great one. Besides she’d never seen herself as queen anyways. Rec: Genderswapped Thor. Fosterson is minimal, but amazing insights into Thor’s character. | 6.5k

Leaving On An Airship by Rozilla: To escape to a better life, Jane Foster, maid to a cruel villainous Baron, must leave her lover and disguise herself. But not before one last goodbye. Rec: *cartwheels into the sun* FOSTERSON STEAMPUNK WITH SMUT AND FEELINGS OH GOD SEND HELP. Contains some smut | 2.6k

Unrememberance by letthesongtakeflight: Before he became the Huntsman, he was a prince. Rec: Marvel/Snow White and the Huntsman fusion. Prequel of sorts to SWatH. Angst on angst. Major character death | 1.2k

steal my heart 'til kingdom come by tosca1390: Her eyes stray over reading upon reading; she thinks she can taste the tang of energy and ozone even now, and that strange sense of pine and smoke that she associates with Thor. Rec: AU post-Avengers where Thor goes to visit Jane who has remained in New Mexico. Yay for a great collision of two characters who absolutely did not prepare for any of this. Contains some smut | 2.1k

fingerprints that leave me covered for days by tosca1390: It is not all lost, to be stranded here. Perhaps, he could make something of it. Rec: Another AU in which Thor is on Earth longer in the first movie. Great development for Thor, and the relationship he has with Jane feels very real. | 5.5k

journeys end in lovers’ meeting by tosca1390: Solitary moments in snow; it sounds conducive to rest, to a time of rejuvenation before her research resumes. Rec: A really cute AU based on the movie The Holiday (which I’ve never seen before). Just adorable holiday fluff wherein Thor is human. Contains some smut | 19k

Bound by Medie: It was ironic that his and Loki’s greatest mistakes had led to her. Rec: Some tame bondage featuring dom!Jane. Contains smut | 1.1k

Rated E (these will contain the smuts unless otherwise noted)

**Ambush by orphan_account: Jane isn't into violence, but there's something about those SHIELD debriefings, something primal and raw about hearing how the bad guys got their asses handed to them by the good guys, something that inspires her to act on instinct alone. Rec: If you’ve got a thing for Thor’s armor.... mmmhmmm. | 1.1k

Is This More than You Bargained for Yet by Anshin Archives: Thor and Jane's first go at sex. Jane's expecting Thor to have a cock, and is surprised when he doesn't. It doesn't take her long to adjust. (Pure porn for the excuse of writing Thor with a vagina.) Rec: Genderfluidity and completely accepted queerness for the win. | 2.5k

When Jane Pegged Thor by waldorph: They raise them slutty in Asgard. Rec: What it says on the tin. Pretty damn hot if pegging is up your alley ;). | 1.4k

Practical Magic by Rozilla: Freya’s flowers can do funny things to you. Rec: Roz is the queen of smut so this is amazing. Kind of a play on sex pollen, but takes it in a totally new, refreshing direction. Asgardian sex magic for the win. | 2.8k

built on the old rivers by fartherfaster: You catch her wrist and delicately kiss the bone of it. “Nothing to be sorry for,” you tell her. She composes her reality in absolutes and theories and the true phenomenal names of things. Colloquial language is not her means of communication. You like her hard lines, her curiosity, her determination. Jane would never call Mjolnir just a hammer, and that puts a small, needy part of you to rest. There is a storm in the desert, and Thor comes to terms with all of his changes. The one where human-Thor has Lichtenberg figures. Rec: Incredibly poignant and the author makes a second-person POV work incredibly well. | 3.3k

Tell Me Something New by hariboo: "Compile the data of the reading we took during Convergence. The gravitational–“ She trails off, can’t finish the sentence out loud or in her mind, her voice catching on the words as Thor’s mouth latches onto her throat. Rec: Cute and hot and perfect because smart Jane is Thor’s biggest turn on. | 1.5k

On the Throne by murdur: His insistence that she should sit on the throne had been in jest and merriment, but the sight of her sitting upon the seat now makes his heart beat quick and steals his breath. Rec: Oh my god, Thor goes down on Jane while she sits on the throne of Asgard. I have nothing else to say. *dies* | <1k

Experience Counts for Something by Rozilla: Jane was surprised at Thor’s new female body- but pretty keen to explore it. Rec: Bisexual Jane and Genderfluid Thor are great. Some hot femslash fosterson. | 2.3k

Just Get In The Van by paxnirvana: Written for a prompt on Anenko’s Bad Sex & Awkward Romance: a comment-a-thon that got away from me. Rec: All first time sex is gonna be awkward, friends, even if you’re Jane and Thor. Might as well enjoy the ride. | 6.3k

close your eyes and count to ten by fuzzy_paint: Post battle, Jane and Thor make sure the other still lives. Rec: Reassurance of safety sex is hot. Sue me. Still manages to be angsty too. | 2.4k

We Woke Up In The Kitchen by hariboo: He didn’t think he could miss someone as he missed her, but there is something singular in Jane that pulls at him and threatens to overtake him. Rec: post-TDW sexies that are adorable and awkward and hot all at once, plus some really nice conversation at the end. This author just really gets Jane and Thor in a way that is always awesome to read. | 3.7k

A Helping Hand by fuzzy_paint: Jane can’t sleep. Thor has a solution. Rec: Some nice, cute sleepy!smut to help Jane to relax and stop thinking. | 1.5k

The Scientific Method by Serious Snugglebunnies: Thor is much too honourable to have meaningless sex with Jane - but will he do it for the sake of science? Rec: Cracky, hilarious, and hot. | 3.3k

A Thorny Situation by GreenVelvetCurtains: Jane has a problem and she’s not afraid to try and solve it. Rec: A hot fantasizing/masturbation piece starring the lovely Jane Foster. | 2.7k

Detours by ancarett: Life is a highway. Jane takes Thor on the detours. Missing moments from the movie. Rec: Some mildly awkward sex which is actually kind of adorable and works out for everyone in the end. Not my favorite smut ever, but worth a read. | 3.9k

Say It’s Okay by theleaveswant: Darcy gave her a sympathetic pout and walked around the table to put both hands on Jane’s upper arms. “Okay. Honey? I know this isn’t your preferred way of handling things, but it looks like you’re going to have to talk with him.” Rec: Big premium on 'consent is sexy.’ Jane teaches Thor how to pleasure her. Not my favorite smut, but worth a read. | 2.1k

Accretion by RC_McLachlan: "You are burning inside,” Thor whines, rolling his hips again, and she rides it out helplessly, eyes rolling back, lungs cramping with envy for air. “Like a star." Rec: A seriously hot look at the simple difference in size between Jane and Thor. | 1.6

Salt On Your Lips by Barkour: The strawberry daiquiri is indeed a drink worthy of adulation, but Thor prefers the taste of Jane Foster. Rec: For it’s sense of fun that comes with the sex, and the pure happiness of two people who simply enjoy being in each other’s company. | 2k

Good Morning by me: Jane wakes up with Thor between her legs.My addition to Fosterson Week’s smut day. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. | 2k

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year by me: Jane and Thor do Christmas. (Finally.) Tis the season for holiday smut. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. | 5.4k

Your Highness by me: Jane wants something in bed and Thor is more than happy to oblige. For the first day of Fosterson Week, post-TDW. Rec: It’s not a true reclist without a self plug. | 6k

Not Your Average Star Trek Fanfiction by me: After several years of unresolved sexual tension, Jane and Thor are in quite a rush to rectify the situation. Takes place immediately following TDW. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. | 3.7k

#fosterson #jane foster #thor #jane x thor #thor x jane #fosterson fic rec masterlist #fic recs

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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years ago

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Introducing - Dr. Hannibal and Mrs. Erika Lecter.

Self - shipping game (started by @jokersspookyhyena; thank you for the tag, darling!💗)

I’m really nervous about posting this because Hannibal is... very special to me. The bond we share is on a similar level to the one I have with Joker. The only real difference is the length of time; Hannibal has been with me for far longer. I love him so much that it hurts and I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am without him.

PLEASE NOTE -

Mentions of abuse, dissociation and passive suicidal tendencies - unspecified, just named as listed. It’s relevant and almost central to our relationship. If you want to skip this bit, it’s the question asking his favourite things about me, specifically. Every other question is safe, loves! My connection to him is raw, and so are my answers.

Word count: 2, 450 (uhhh... woops??)

When did you get together/how long have you known them?

Hannibal and I go way back. I have known Hannibal Lecter, as a character across all forms of media, since I was thirteen, but NBC’s Hannibal I met when I was shy of eighteen. I adore all portrayals of Hannibal Lecter, but this Hannibal is my most favourite one. Not because Mads Mikkelsen is outrageously attractive, although that’s also true, but because in him I found solace, peace, acceptance, understanding... and safety, in more ways than one. Over the course of the time we’ve known each other, our dynamic has always changed and it’s grown with me. As I’ve gotten older, the dynamic has become increasingly romantic. When I look back on my life, Hannibal’s always been with me, and thank goodness because I wouldn’t be who I am today without him. I am so grateful to and for him for so many reasons it’d be impossible to list them all.

Nicknames, both yours for them and theirs for you!

Sksksksksk I annoy Hannibal with all my nicknames for him: Hanni is the one I use for everything, more than his own name, pretty Hanni when I want cuddles but I’m too shy to actually say, my love when I’m feeling tender for him (all the time) sometimes I’ll combine nicknames and say; Hanni, my love. Sometimes I call him my precious cannibal... that’s for our most romantic moments, though. When I’m talking to others about him, I usually attach “my” to the front of his name. He’s not mine, of course, and I don’t own him and he doesn’t belong to me, but the bond which we have is mine, and this is an important distinction.

Hannibal doesn’t have many nicknames for me. He most often calls me by my name, little fawn/doe when I’m especially skittish or he makes me accidentally jump (it’s not hard to do, though it’s not fun for him because it takes ages for me to calm down), dearest, my love, and the most recent addition is, phoenix or my phoenix... I wrote about that here if you want to read about why he calls me that!

Who’s on top?

Hannibal, most often. He likes to push, destroy and reset boundaries in his own image, though, so sometimes he’ll make me go on top just to see what I do. Spoilers: I always nuzzle my face into the warm crook of his neck, lock my arms and legs around him, and close my eyes. If Hannibal desires for anything sexual, then he has to roll me to be underneath him because once I’m on him, all I want is the safe cage of his embrace (though, on the rare occasions I get... amorous, I just aim my hips downwards every time I shift to get comfortable. It’s subtle enough to be missed, but Hannibal knows me and his chuckle rumbles through his chest and it always makes me smile).

Who is more protective?

Mmm... Hannibal, I would say. I don’t take the best care of myself and Hannibal often has to help me. Erika, don’t you think you should eat something? It has been several hours and you don’t want to get a stomach ache from not eating for so long, do you? and other such less than subtle reminders.

However, I’m not totally helpless and if anyone hurts my Hanni, then oooooooh, this fawn bares her teeth. You do not touch my Hanni. I may be afraid of confrontation and of raised voices, but if I catch wind of anyone targeting Hannibal, then none of that matters. Good luck taking Hannibal to prison, Jack, I’mma square up and you better be ready to catch these hands.

Who said ‘I love you’ first?

Meeeee ~ , I did!!!!! Because I knew him so young, for about six years of our friendship, I used to just say “I love you” and Hannibal would smile patiently but otherwise not encourage anything, for obvious reasons. But one day, I said I loved him and Hannibal gave me the time old reaction. “No, Hanni, listen. I love you.” He blinked once, twice, smiled... and still didn’t say it back. But that’s okay - I like to think that he loves me too. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t. He’s Hannibal Lecter, who knows? If it’s a moment which needs for him to say it back, he’ll most often say, “and I, you.” It’s close enough.

Who does the household chores? Including cleaning, cooking, anything around the house.

Hanni and I split everything. I live with him and he refuses to let me pay rent or for food and the like (I have something of a guilt complex so I always feel bad for 'taking’ anything without giving something back, which is usually more than what I was initially given), so instead if something needs doing, I’ll do it without saying anything. Hannibal is incredibly self-sufficient and I stay out of his kitchen (I can cook well enough but Hannibal’s Japanese knives scare me so I stay out of the way and he’s very particular about the order of things in his kitchen), and I don’t go in his office either, but the rest of our home is mine to do whatever I want with. Sometimes I’ll deliberately stay out of his way and when he comes a-running (but not to help), he finds I’ve done odd jobs here and there around the home. He doesn’t thank me for it, he knows I don’t want that, so he dips his chin and eyes me with those gorgeous chocolate eyes, and I know I’ve earned myself a cuddle session later. Both of us know that that’s what I was after the entire time, though neither of us addresses it. He’s taught me well. A bit too well, he sometimes thinks.

Who gets hurt more often?

Me 😂 I have been known to trip over my own foot standing still and it’s not unusual for me to stand up and to sway as I try to find my balance and for Hanni to reach up to grasp my wrist until I’ve settled. It’s embarrassing and my cheeks always go bright red from blushing, but the heat of his hand seeps into my skin and I can’t tell which of the two body parts burns more. Sometimes his touch lingers on my skin and I end up sitting back down, not wanting to leave my precious cannibal. This was what Hannibal wanted the entire time and we both know it but we don’t address it, and I realise that either I’m becoming more like him, or he’s starting to adopt some of my own mannerisms. You and I have begun to blur is something Will once said to Hannibal, but it’s not a wholly exclusive sentiment. There are aspects of me which are because of Hannibal and we both know it.

How do you sleep?

I don’t, not without my Hanni. He most often lays on his back and lets me settle myself half on his body and half off. One of my legs stretches across his body so that my inner knee is pressed to his outer hip and I wrap my arms around his shoulders. My face finds its way either into his chest so I can hear his heartbeat and feel the rumble of his voice in my ear, or pressed into the warm crook of his neck so I can feel his pulse against my skin and know that he is alive and safe. When at last do I fall asleep, for it takes me a long time to settle and to get comfortable (seven hundred position changes and a sacrifice to Satan), Hannibal turns off the light he allows me while I fall asleep (if I wake up in the dark, I’ll be scared to the point of a panic attack and then he will wake and comfort me. This increases my trust in him and further ensures that I won’t leave him. We both know he does this but again, it’s not addressed. I trust him implicitly, which again... is all a part of his plan.) and then he turns onto his side with me pressed tightly to his chest.

Sometimes, on very rare occasions, when Hannibal has been hurt or if he’s sick, he likes to lay atop me and our positions are the same as above, but reversed. So he’s the one clinging onto me and I am the one on my back, protecting my pretty Hanni from all who seek to do him harm or to take his freedom away from him... that’s something I’d never condemn him to. I love him far too much to ever put him through that. Beasts belong out in the wild, do they not?

Fears?

Hannibal fears having his freedom taken away from him, he fears being completely vulnerable, he fears never being understood... his fears are bigger than me, so I can only love him as hard as I can every single day, without hesitation, thought or fault.

And, well... I have lots of fears. My biggest fears are the dark and... certain physical illnesses and Hannibal has offered multiple times to get me a suitable therapist, but I refuse every time. I have my Hanni, so I have everything.💖 He knows me and he knows that if he just stays, I’ll even lay in the pitch darkness for him... if he just stays. So he stays and, oh, my fear smells delicious and he craves more... so I crave his closeness and on it goes. We kind of... led each other into this relationship but looking back, I definitely don’t want it any other way. I’m not sure about Hannibal.

Favorite physical and personal feature about them?

I love all of Hannibal, but his eyes are the warmest pools of chocolate I’ve ever seen. I like to cup his face in my hands, especially when we’re sat in his study by the fire, and I like to get very close to him so that my nose is touching his and I just look into his eyes, the soft orange glow of the fire giving his dark irises a red tint... he has the eyes of a shark.

And that voice... asdfghjk 🥵🥵🥵 many a panic attack has been stopped before it’s started, many a nightmare soothed, by even one word. Hanni has to be careful what he asks of me because he knows that I won’t ever say no to him, but that was all a part of his plan... so long as I love him, I am useful to him. I lost all of myself once and Hanni helped me to find her. His voice led the way, it called out to the darkness in me, and I could only answer his call. He saved me.

And I love his hair... especially in the mornings when it brushes against his eye lashes, I... I just love him.🥺🥺🥺

My favourite personal feature of Hannibal’s is his mind. His psyche is an ocean with murky, never before charted depths, and I long to dive in at the deepest part and to never resurface. I long for his tongue to cut into me, for his words to slice me apart, and then for him to submerge me in the depths of his mind, in the depths of the love he may have for me, and to soothe away the metaphorical wounds I inflict upon myself daily (my inner voice most often sounds like my abusers, try as I might). I long to become one with my cannibal so that never are we torn asunder.

Their favorite physical and personal feature about you?

Mmm... this one is really hard to answer because I am not, ah... favourable of myself in any way. My dress just rode up to my thigh, though, and I can literally see the answer: my tattoo. A few years ago, something terrible happened and as a result, I dissociated to the point of barely functioning and I experienced passive suicidal ideation for a long time even after I escaped that situation (Hanni is the reason I left that, too). Instead of giving into that, though, I designed and then got a tattoo and though I wanted to die, Hannibal made me feel alive that day. Though I know that Hannibal doesn’t like his meat branded (😂), I also know that he loves my tattoo. It’s a physical mark of my love and my devotion to him, and of course it strokes his ego. He quite literally saved my life and I wanted to immortalise that instead of destroying myself further.

Even if I do say so myself, she’s gorgeous:

His favourite personal feature about me is the fact that I see him. I know exactly who Hanni is. I know what he’s done. I know what he’s capable of. I know his past, his present, and I see who he is. I can look at him and guess within an accurate measure as to his thoughts and feelings. I see him and I know him and I love him genuinely, with everything that I am. There have been multiple points in my life where I’ve lived for him in a very raw and real way, and he knows that. Hanni is a rare gift and by some stroke of luck, I was given him. I’ll never be able to repay him for his kindness.

Something intimate you do together?

We lay together. Not just cuddling like I answered in a different question, but we talk. About anything and everything. Hannibal listens more than he speaks up until he notices I’m getting tired, and then he speaks and I listen. He’ll cite Dante in Italian or quote Shakespeare, he’ll talk about Schrodinger's theory or answer my question do killed spiders become ghosts? And we spend that time together. There’s an intimacy not just in naked bodies but in bared souls too, and when both forms happen at the same time? It’s the purest, rawest intimacy he and I are capable of. And it happens nightly - no exceptions.

Who needs more TLC when sick?

Hanni rarely gets sick or injured, so this is me again. I usually work as best as I can through my sickness and I’ll tell him that I’m fine, I don’t need anything... but he takes care of me because he knows I want him to, even if I won’t say it. I’m the kind of person who longs to be wholly self-sufficient and independent, and I can do it, too, but I soften considerably when someone treats me the way I treat them and it almost always makes me cry, no matter who they are. I’ve learned to be strong so when I’m taken care of, I don’t know how to handle it... but Hanni does. Hanni has seen me at my best, at my worst, at my worst and everything in between, and he can handle all of me. If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is.

#self-shipping #hannibal lecter #erika lecter #erika x hannibal

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fiercyy · 5 years ago

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Chapters: 11/? Fandom: Naruto Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Hatake Kakashi, Team 7 - Relationship, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto Characters: Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi, Tsunade (Naruto), Orochimaru (Naruto) Additional Tags: AU, Post-Chuunin Exams, post chuunin exams attack, Minor Character Death, Trauma, Team 7 Family bonding, Genin Era, Everybody moves in with Sasuke, he's got room, semi-au, Plot Twists, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Roommates, Friends to Enemies, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, BAMF Haruno Sakura, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto) Feels, BAMF Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto), Team as Family, Slow Burn Series: Part 1 of Post-Chuunin Exam AU Summary:

Sakura always wished she could relate to her teammates better. She wishes she could take it back.

In which Sasuke acquires some unwanted roommates and a team becomes a family.

"You skipped training," Kakashi's one visible eye is narrowed in a foreboding expression. His large body takes up the whole doorframe when he holds himself up at full height.

Sasuke turns back to his book, earmarked not him but by Sakura, who the book belongs to. It's a historical account of the longest battle of the First Ninja War. For something so violent, it's extremely boring. "What's the point?" He asks petulantly.

"What's the point in training?" Kakashi asks incredulously. Surely Sakura's win hadn't hit him that hard.

"What's the point in the training we're doing? I'm not getting any stronger!"

"I'm teaching you restraint," begins the lecture he's heard what feels like a hundred times, "The Chidori is powerful and dangerous. You could hurt someone without meaning to."

Sasuke scoffs, "Sakura can beat me. I don't need restraint. In a fight, I'm trying to hurt someone."

"If your ego is so fragile then you're not ready for the responsibility of power."

"I am!" he argues. "But if power is such a burden then why can Sakura and Naruto keep getting stronger and now me?"

"They don't want power for power's sake!"

"Neither do I, I want power so I can use it."

Kakashi's eyes narrow, "I'm your mentor, not theirs. If you want my techniques you'll do things my way."

"Then I don't need you!" And desperate to escape the conversation, he jumps out the window.

"If you had control you wouldn't have hurt Sakura!" Kakashi shouts after him.

"I don't care!" he screams back. But that's a lie.

Sakura, for her part, has never been so thrilled to lose a fight. It doesn't feel egotistical to think that she basically won. She's just a softy who couldn't let him fall. It's a good thing, isn't it? That her instinct was to protect her teammate. (Even if, had he been thinking properly, he could have grabbed onto the wall with chakra.) That was what Kakashi was always ragging on her about, no? Not putting her team first?

She managed to surprise Sasuke and get the upper hand. She never thought she could do that. Never would have thought to… before.

Thinking about her parents brings her down. She can't do it often, it hurts too much. Since her heart to heart with Kakashi, she's being trying to focus on what she does have, not what she lost.

Her life has been in a quagmire since the attack, but at least she isn't alone. For that reason, she pities Sasuke. They both lost so much but afterward he had nobody. And she had so much. She's learning to be grateful for that, honest she is. She just gets so mad sometimes.

It's like when she was little. She was an angry kid. Her parents worked with her and taught her all the calming techniques; breaking deepy, counting, shoving it all into a box… The box worked best. All her longterm furies shut up where no one could see them. She let the bullies hit her as hard as they wanted. She wouldn't strike out. They could tease her all they liked, she wouldn't give them the satisfaction of a reaction.

She can't hold in that inner Sakura anymore. She won't be contained. Instead she's trying to come to terms with it all; work through it as best she can. It's freeing, to be a being who can feel anger again. The fight now, is to not allow it to consume her.

"Hey," Naruto starts, only for Sasuke to stalk right past him and slam the door to their room. He glances at the clock on the VCR. It's 11:00. The lock clicks. Shit. He's terrible at picking locks. "Aw man, what am I gonna do now?"

Sakura—who sits on the opposite side of the table, books open and post-its at the ready—is unsympathetic. "Sleep on the couch."

Alone in his room, the nightmares plague him worse than before. The prophecy of being swallowed by the earth came true. He finds new things to fear.

Sasuke wakes in the middle of the night.

The voices no longer reside in sleep. Orochimaru's whispers reverberate all around him; promises of power, of bargains. How will you kill your brother if you keep you as you are? He asks with condescension.

Sasuke shakes his head and for now, the pressure in his skull is dislodged. He rises and leaves the bedroom for the living room.

The apartment is dark. There is just enough moonlight to see by. He treads softly into the living room and stares at Naruto's slack body, thrown over the couch and covered in the red wool blanket. It's large enough that all three of them fit under it but in the heat of sleep he's kicked it off his feet. His soft snores, so familiar, settle Sasuke.

He didn't want Naruto to hear his nightmares. They've woken him before, but he never seems to grasp what the nightmares are about. He knew he'd be talking in his sleep tonight. It's always worse when he goes to bed angry. Orochimaru is preying on those feelings, he won't be taken in.

Except he's told no one. They might see it as a sign of weakness, or Kakashi might try and reseal him. What power reserves would be taken from him then? The temptation of more than a taste of what the curse can give him… He's stagnating here, while others flourish. He needs to be stronger. Now. And Orochimaru wants to give him strength. It's that simple.

He'll kill him before fulfilling his end of the bargain.

That thought, formulating a plan, is what makes it too real.

Sasuke's birthday is last in the calendar year and on the first morning of his 13th year, he wakes up to yelling and the sweet smells of an unhealthy breakfast.

"I made you an omelette actually," Sakura assures, plating her pancakes. It's dry and over seasoned, but he eats every bite slathered in ketchup. There's candles in it and they make him blow them out.

The day is spent in his favourite manner: outside, training. They read together in peace in the grass, for a while after that. (Sasuke and Sakura read. Naruto doodles crude caricatures in the margins of a magazine.) They go to lunch, then the baths. They henge into adult versions of themselves, laughing all the while at their absurd visions of the future. They use the illusions to sneak into a bar that's hosting a pub quiz. A jolly civilian in his 20s hosts. Naruto's only correct contribution is a question about the minutiae of the Teenage Mutant Firefighting Turtles lore.

They win second prize—a pitcher of beer. Their weak, 13-year-old tolerance ensures than they're unable to hold their henges for long after that. Once one breaks, the others do too and laughing all the while, they're kicked out of the bar.

"Technically this is your fault for giving it to us!" Sakura argues, "We didn't order any drinks!" The bouncer is unamused.

They stumble home, leaning on each other.

And when Sasuke stares at the spinning ceiling that night, he doesn't think of his childhood, his anger or the future. For the first time, he relives the same day he'll relive for years-the best birthday he ever had.

"Teach me how to unlock the Magekyou Sharingan," Sasuke demands. He doesn't know what he's asking.

Kakashi tries to tell himself this, but when he reaches inside himself, looking for compassion, he finds only rage. "No."

"It's my clan's legacy, the next logical step. I need it if I ever hope to-!"

"If you're very lucky you will never have the Magekyou," Kakashi warns, "The cost is too great."

"I'll pay it!"

"If you do," he replies, enunciating carefully, "I will strike you down myself."

They ambush him in the evening on his way home from another seemingly useless session with Kakashi. The Sound Four and all of their formidable strength and second-hand arguments (such as they are) meant to persuade him to defect on his own. Or to take him by force.

His curse seal burns, curling across his body.

The time has come to remember his purpose.

Sasuke strains against his restraints, spitting and snarling at his teacher. Kakashi's impassive eyes rove around, but his fingers are tight on the wire. The bark itches and the blood trickles down his arm where the wire has cut him.

"What's this all about?!" He demands.

"Sorry, but I knew you wouldn't want to sit still for another lecture." The second today. "Let it go, forget about revenge. Trust me, following the path of revenge never ends well. You'll only tear yourself apart. Even if you succeed, what will you have then? Nothing. Emptiness."

"Shut up!" Sasuke's blood boils, "What makes you think you know anything about it? You have no idea! Maybe if I were to kill the most important people in your life, anyone who's ever meant anything then you'd understand," he threatens cruelly, uselessly.

"Interesting theory, but everyone I've ever loved is already dead," he says it so calmly. Sasuke never knew that about him. "Besides you. And Naruto and Sakura."

Sasuke's sharp intake of breath is the only indication that his words have any effect.

"You and I are lucky. We've found new people to love, who love us."

The boy looks so small, his head drops so Kakashi can't see his face anymore. He loosens the restraints.

"That's all I wanted to say. You'll do what you want."

In the room he shares with his teammate, only feet away from his bed, Sasuke packs a bag in the dark. There's a photograph on the desk that he considers taking with him, but that wouldn't be wise. He lays it face down and leaves the room.

He hesitates at the front door and doubles back.

He doesn't know which cousin Sakura's bedroom belonged to. He never visited them before the Massacre. It's one of the reasons he feels safe here, it's untouched by death. They died at the compound with everybody else.

He opens her door a crack. The hinges are well oiled so they don't creak.

Asleep in bed, Sakura's back is to him, arm tucked under her chin and hair falling over her shoulders. He watches her for longer than he should, heart hammering in his chest. He's really going to do this.

He stays until he can't stand it anymore, it's too much.

Outside, the village is quiet. The streetlamps haven't been fixed in many neighborhoods, so he passes through the light and darkness with equal swiftness. His unhurried gait stops at the gates. They loom in front of him, a portal into his future.

"SASUKE!" Sakura shouts, breaking the stillness of the night.

He turns and can't hide his surprise at seeing her. He's a fool. He must have woken her with his goodbye. "What are you doing here?"

"This is the only way out of the village," she evades.

"Go home Sakura."

Before I say things we'll both regret.

"No," her voice breaks. She darts in front of him to block his path. "Why? I thought I understood you but I don't. I just don't. How can you throw everything away?"

"You could never understand me," he replies coldly. "I'm throwing away everything that doesn't matter. Anything that doesn't help me accomplish my goals."

"I know in the beginning you couldn't stand me. You probably hated me. But I thought-" here Sakura hesitates and the tears drip from her chin. "I thought that things were different now. You told me once that I have no idea what it means to be alone, well now I do. I do and I wish I didn't. It's horrible. But it's a little less horrible with you." She chokes on a sob and slaps a hand over her mouth to muffle it.

"You're just as annoying now as you were then." He steps up to her, so they're standing close. "Move," he commands.

"No."

"Move or I'll move you."

Her stance widens but her knees quake. "Try it then."

"Don't you understand that I'll kill you if I have to?" Move!

She laughs, so sad, "For the sake of your revenge."

"I'm travelling a path that you can't follow," in telling her so, he hopes to be kind.

Sasuke pushes past her. Like a willow branch, she moves aside then springs back to watch him walk away. All the fight has gone out of her. "You don't have to be alone. You don't think we would help you?" She cries, "Naruto and I would do anything for you. Why won't you let us?!"

"I don't need you!" He roars. "We aren't the same."

"I love you, don't you understand? Please don't walk away!"

With his back to her, neither can see the effect their words are having on the other, but they can hope. They can imagine.

"Stay," she whispers brokenly. "Or take me with you."

He turns. "Where I'm going, I have no use for you. Forget you ever knew me."

"No. You know that I can't," she says with force. He advances and her speech quickens. "If you move I'll scream, I swear I will, I-" In a flash, he's behind her. A sharp pain in her neck. Darkness descends.

Whispered words. Thank you.

12 hours earlier…

Though some ninjas choose to work under the cover of night, many realize that it's far easier to work in plain sight, in the day, hidden by the crowd. Sasuke has only been to Kakashi's apartment once before, but he remembers the way. It's not so odd that a student would visit his master in the day time.

He knocks and Kakashi's surprised to find him at the door.

"Can I come in?" He trusts that his sensei's home is secure.

"Sure, Sasuke," Kakashi replies in his usual breezy tone. "What can I do for you?"

"I need you to get me a covert meeting with the Hokage."

In under an hour they're in her office. Shizune, their only witness. Tsunade surveys the boy over her steeples fingers. "What can I do for you, Uchiha?"

"I need you to assign me an S-rank mission, to infiltrate Sound." Kakashi's eye cuts to him, "As a double agent."

#sasusaku #team 7 #sasuke x sakura #naruto #fanfiction #IYC #if you can't hold on hold on #my fic

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give-me-back-my-rhodey · 4 years ago

Text

The Trio is Back - AUgust Day 7

Title: The Trio is Back

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen

Warnings: N/A

Relationships: Bucky/Nat/Tony, Bucky/Tony

Square Filled: N2: Didn’t Know They Were Dating Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Natasha, Bucky, and Tony have been friends since childhood. Everyone speculates that Natasha will have to choose between the two of them. Little do they know she might just choose both.

+++++++++

Tony, Bucky, and Natasha have been friends since toddlers. The Starks, the Barneses, and Natasha’s adoptive parents were a close-knit bunch who played bridge on Thursday nights, usually at the Stark mansion.

As children, the three would run through the house playing superheroes, Super Mario characters, jedi, etc. The Stark butler, Jarvis, always made sure nothing valuable was broken. They would often rope him into their play. As they got older, they calmed down somewhat. Natasha taught Tony to braid so he could braid her and Bucky’s hair. Both would push him to get more intricate braids. Bucky would recommend books for the others to read, and they had a book club group chat where they would discuss plots and theories. Tony lets them in his lab and teaches them about science.

When the three turned ten, the adults would joke that Natasha might have a hard time choosing between the two handsome boys. Natasha’s fathers said she should be able to do whatever she wanted. Natasha never paid them any mind because Tony and Bucky were her friends. Why did she need to choose?

The three were inseparable until middle school. They never had a falling out, per se. They just stopped hanging out. Maybe they were tired of everyone trying to figure out who liked who, or maybe they just wanted more friends. No one actually knows. Tony became close with his lab partner James Rhodes, who he dubbed Rhodey. He also roped Virginia Potts into his trio as well. She became known as Pepper almost overnight. Natasha basically adopted the “school nerd” Bruce Banner and Carol Danvers, the girl most of the guys hated because she was “too feminist.” Carol, an avid lesbian even at a young age, didn’t care. Boys were a waste of time to her. Bucky was fast friends with Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, and Sharon Carter. Every once in a while, all ten of them would hang out, but it seemed like the legendary trio was over.

As they reach puberty, the comments about them increase. Instead of being smelly boys, Tony and Bucky both grow into handsome young men. Both realize as they grow older that they were kind of into boys and girls. Sure, Natasha is beautiful, Bucky thinks, but so is Sam. He doesn’t know how Tony feels about Nat, and since one of them was “destined” to get her, he decides he will step back and let Tony ask her out. He takes Sam on a date, and they are steady for a couple of months. They split on good terms at the end.

Tony has the same line of thought, and he dates Tiberius Stone for a while. Both Bucky and Natasha hate him, but Tony doesn’t know why. Ty is cultured and handsome, a real catch. So, what if he verbally abuses him and guilt-trips him? That’s the way his father always treats him. Isn’t it normal?

Natasha doesn’t date. She doesn’t care to. If people want to speculate, she doesn’t care. She’s only sixteen, why does it matter if she doesn’t have a partner? Her fathers tell her to take her time, and if she never wants to date, that’s her say.

When they graduate, Tony goes to MIT. Natasha gets in at Stanford, and Bucky’s parents can only afford for him to go to NYU. Tony offers to pay for a better college, but Bucky won’t let him. They keep in contact and see each other every break. Tony finally breaks up with Ty in his freshman year, but he becomes a party animal. Rhodey does his best to keep Tony out of trouble, but even he fails sometimes. When he graduates summa cum laude, he takes his place at Stark Industries. Natasha studies to become a lawyer, and she passes the bar easily. Bucky graduates NYU and saves up enough to buy his own auto repair shop. All are successful and don’t have much time to spend with each other or anyone else, to be fair.

++++++

Jan, Tony’s stylist, sets him up on a blind date with a Jimmy because he “works too much.” He shows up at the restaurant she picks out to only find Bucky sitting at the table to which the maître d leads him. “Bucky?”

“Tony? What are you doing here?” Bucky stands.

“I’m as confused as you are.” Tony sits at the table. “Jan told me I’d be meeting a Jimmy. Who the hell calls you Jimmy?”

“Well, she called you Anthony. I can’t believe you let anyone call you Anthony.”

Tony shoots him a glare. “I don’t. Not sure why she told you that you’d be meeting an Anthony… unless she did this on purpose.”

“What? The parents figure that if Nat doesn’t want to date either of us, they might as well put us together?” Bucky’s eyes snap.

“I don’t know.” Tony shrugs. “But it all seems very suspicious, you know? What do you propose we do about it?”

“I think we should eat dinner and go have fun. We both go home to our own houses afterwards and never try to date again, just to screw ‘em.” Bucky smiles sharply.

“I like that. Deal.”

Tony wakes up in Bucky’s bed the next day. “Well, I guess that plan didn’t work out.”

“Yea… I’m torn up between kicking you out now just to fuck our parents or actually fucking you again,” Bucky comments. “Damn, Tones, you’re amazing.”

Tony colors. “Yea, I had a lot of experience in college. People still like to say they spent the night with me even though I haven’t slept with someone else for months now. I’ve just been busy.”

“Same. Who has time to date anymore?” Bucky shakes his head. “It’s a shame because I would love to have nights like last night more often.” He straightens completely and raises a finger. “I have an idea, and you may not like it, but here me out. What if we were each other’s booty calls? Just whenever we need a quick smash, we text the other?”

“James Buchanan Barnes, you are a fucking genius. I would kiss you right now, except my PA’s probably calling my dead phone, wondering where the hell I am. Can we rain check the next session?” Tony hops out of bed, pulling on his pants. Once quickly dressed, he heads to the door to leave and blows Bucky a kiss on his way out.

Using his watch to ping his driver, Tony heads home to get changed before going to work an hour late. Howard doesn’t berate him as much for being late for work, so Tony wonders if he knew something about his date with Bucky. The thought leaves his mind as he gets started on his day. He doesn’t have time to think about dates or meddling parents.

As the months go by, both Tony and Bucky text in claims to their booty call agreement. Tony is happy to do so, but he finds himself catching feelings for Bucky. He wonders if it’s because Bucky is the only one that he’s in close contact with, which he mentions to Rhodey when they get lunch on Rhodey’s first day on leave.

“I mean, I don’t think it’s a good idea to be fucking the only person you have a steady friendship with.” Rhodey steals one of Tony’s fries.

Tony pouts. “Don’t be like that honeybear. You and Pepper are my friends, too.”

“Yea, but I’m in the Air Force more than 80% of the time, and Pepper works for you. It’s different.”

“You’re just jealous that you’re not getting any.” Tony decides.

Rhodey just smiles. “Says who?” Tony begins to assault Rhodey for details, the topic of Bucky forgotten.

++++++

“Hey, Natasha’s moving back to New York, apparently.” Bucky informs Tony one morning. “My mom just texted me.”

Tony groans. “If this becomes another ‘Why don’t you date her?’ thing, I swear I’m going to move to Tahiti and not accept any long-distance calls. You’re welcome to come with if you’d like.”

“I think we should take her out to dinner one night when she gets settled, just to catch up.” Bucky muses. “Then our parents can’t be mad because we didn’t try.”

“Yea, I wonder how she’s been. We haven’t talked in so long.” Tony agrees. “I wonder if she got a partnership here or something. I hope so. That’d be good for her.”

“Nick and Phil will be glad to have her back. If only my parents were as supportive as they are. You should have seen my dad when I told them I was opening my own auto shop.” Bucky smiles that unhappy smile.

Tony laughs mirthlessly. “I’d be happy if my parents talked to me at all. But being that Howard’s always cranky anymore, I guess it’s best that he doesn’t.”

++++++ Natasha moves back less than a month later with a short, sandy haired man in tow. They move into an apartment on the Upper East side. Once she’s settled, she agrees to meet Bucky and Tony for dinner. About ten minutes in, she asks them, “How long have you two been together?”

“Did someone tell you that we’re together?” Tony demands. “Because they’re wrong. We’re simply booty calls to each other.”

She shakes her head. “No, you’re not. You might like to think that, but you’re in love with each other. No one told me; I can see it from here.”

The two men shift in their seats, not daring to look at the other. “So how have you been?” Bucky asks her.

“Busy. Jenn and I are setting up our own partnership. We’ve gotten a lot of cases lined up, and we need a secretary. There’re two lawyers working pro bono mostly down in Hell’s Kitchen. We might add them to our firm and pick up their secretary as well. I saw them in court for the Punisher trials, and she seems to have her stuff in order.” She takes a sip of her drink. “Sorry for not keeping up with you guys. I barely even talk to Bruce and Carol.”

“Mom told me you brought a man home with you,” Bucky says. “She didn’t seem too happy about it. Are you two dating?”

“Clint? No, he’s just a friend. I’m too busy to date, honestly. I’ve tried a couple times in LA, but it turns out I’m very selective of those with which I choose to hang out. Most men are idiots, and I’m tragically straight. You see my problem, right?”

“We don’t feel your pain, but we understand,” Tony says. “Well, what we should do is make sure the three of us hang out at least once a month. If we want to bring our other friends, I don’t care, but I’ve sorely missed you, Nat. And Bucky, maybe we should spend more time together with our clothing on.”

“You say that now, but what about tonight when…” Bucky begins but stops when Natasha gives him her death glare. “Okay, that is still as frightening as ever. Is that how you win all your cases?”

“No. I’m skilled enough that I don’t need to use that.” Nat flips her hair. “But I’m glad it works on you.”

Tony stick out his tongue at Bucky. “She’d never kill me. Who would give her those amazing scalp massages?”

“Now that you’ve brought it up, I demand one once we leave the restaurant.”

Natasha goes home that night realizing that she missed out on a lot of Tony and Bucky’s lives. If she were being honest, and she is, she kind of relied on their parents’ hope that she would one day marry one of the two. She always acted the way she did because she was equally attracted to both of them, and she would never be able to choose. So, she moved away and let them get on with their lives. She never thought once that they would choose each other and leave her out. She tells this to Clint when she gets home.

“Talk to them. Maybe they’ll share.” Clint suggests before he falls asleep on the couch.

She rolls her eyes. “You have a room for a reason.” Natasha knows he’ll still be there when she gets up to go to work the next morning.

++++++

The trio meets up at least twice a month. Per Natasha’s goading, Bucky and Tony start to actually date. She’s happy for them but seeing them sometimes is bittersweet. She just wants to go back to the times where they didn’t have to worry about feelings. All feelings have done for her were made her sad.

One night, they’re eating takeout in Tony’s kitchen when he says, “You can kill me if we’re wrong, but I want to proposition something with you.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow. This ought to be interesting. Tony proceeds. “So, Bucky and I are very happy in our relationship, but it could use one more thing… you.”

“Me?”

“Yea. We both really like you, and we kind of got the feeling that you like us, too. Are we wrong?” Bucky bites his lip worriedly.

“No, you’re not wrong. I really like both of you. I have since we were kids. I just never wanted to choose between the two of you. When you got together, I was happy for you. I never thought that you’d both want me as well.”

“Why wouldn’t we want you?” Tony asks. “We love you so much. Obviously, we’ll have to talk about how this is going to work. I hear communication is key to any good relationship. I should know.”

“Also, if we all date, that’s one way to make sure our parents don’t get exactly what they want. Instead of you choosing one of us, you chose both.”

Natasha grins. This is a fine arrangement indeed. “I would invite you back to my place, but Clint’s there. Would one of yours work?”

“It’d have to be Tony’s. I just moved in two weeks ago.” Bucky jabs his thumb at his boyfriend.

++++++

Natasha’s parents are overjoyed when they hear the news, Bucky’s parents don’t say anything, but Bucky knows they are a little wary of his relationship. Tony’s parents, on the other hand, are very vocal. Howard has a yelling fit, screaming at Tony until he loses his voice. Maria asks him why he vexes his father like that.

When Bucky and Nat try to comfort him, he shrugs them off, saying, “That’s the first real conversation I’ve had with either of my parents since I was a kid. Don’t worry; I always knew Howard would have a problem with it.”

“It still sucks,” Bucky tells him. “No matter what, you’ve got us.”

Tony knows he’s happy when both his partners cuddle around him in the middle of their California King bed. Throughout all odds, the trio is back together.

#winterironwidow #childhood friends au #au_gust_2020 #Starkbucksbingo2020 #i write!

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