#and we really were just getting the shittiest rolls

[risingsouls]

" This is why I don't play these asinine games. How absurd.... "

[virgoilluminati]

Hospitality at its Finest

a Jude Bellingham oneshot

Inspo: Basically i have the shittiest job ever, and the only thing that got me through it was thinking about how jude would comfort me at the end of a long shift. I feel like a lot of you gurlies can relate so enjoy ☺️

You had had the worst day.

Probably the worst day you'd had in years

And the only person you could blame was your boss.

He was an A grade arsehole. He only cared about how much money your restaurant made. How it made him look in front of the restaurant owners.

He didn't care about your feelings, how crying had become a normal part of the shift or how every time he walked in, your stomach tied in knots.

Today was an exemplar of it.

At the beginning of the shift, everything was fairly normal. You were supposed to start at 12pm, but you had come in early, caring for your colleagues and knowing that they would need the extra staff for the new delivery. As you mentally prepared yourself for the shift, you started putting away the new stock and organizing the kitchen.

Quickly looking at your phone one last time, you clocked into work before admiring your lock screen with Jude. After all, all of this was for your future.

As you made your way to the shop floor, it was dead silent. So silent that you knew the second you opened the door in the backroom, you'd be greeted with a mess. But you didn't expect what you were greeted with. Stacks of dishes towered precariously, remnants of ingredients sprawled across counters, and an unmistakable odor of burnt food lingered heavily in the air.

Your closest colleague Haley was on the ground, covered by stock boxes. When she see's you walk in, she smiles, but the exhaustion in her eyes betrays her forced cheerfulness. Without wasting a moment, you rush to help her up, setting the boxes aside.

"Wha-"

"Don't ask. It's Jamie. He overestimated our multitasking skills again. We could use all the help we can get right now."

You nod, taking in the chaotic scene. Rolling up your sleeves, you dive into the mess, prioritizing tasks in your head.

The second the doors to your restaurant opened, a wave of eager customers flooded in, adding to the already hefty workload. You had only just made your way out of the heavy stock room before you were serving your first customer, your manager already shaking his head.

You grabbed a notepad, scribbling down order after order with precision. As you do such, you realise that no one has set up back of house, and whilst everyone was dealing with the stock, you'd be doing both positions, already.

Oh gawd it was going to be a long day.

The next issues happened just after the lunchtime peak. Your manager—ever the perfectionist—decided to go out and back home to get changed. He didn’t tell any of you, just putting your colleague Hetty in charge.

Now, for all of the reasons you loved Hetty, she was a terrible team leader. She spent half of the time bossing everyone around, whilst the other half chatting and gossiping about the managers. So when you realized that she was in charge, you knew it was going to turn sideways.

What made it even worse was halfway through the shift you suddenly got cramps. It could only mean one thing: your period.

You knew better than to miss your orders, so you managed to deal with the cramps and act normal. But as soon as anyone’s order was mentioned, you gritted your teeth. Deep down, you could feel your cramps churning up. But you managed to keep your cool. Or at least until Hetty began barking orders at you, telling you that while you were making a cheesecake, you also needed to clean the station, get the ice cream ready for service, and get the lunch menu ready that was just coming out.

Needless to say, you didn’t really listen to her orders, instead focusing on the four cheesecakes you needed to bake, twenty lusty turkeys, and the rest of your workload that’s coming in. You’d maybe gotten halfway done with the orders when suddenly your stomach muscles tightened and spasmed at the same time. It hurt to breathe in, so you tried to breathe in as slowly as possible, praying to God that the next person who insulted you would take it back as soon as they said it.

Now, you’re screwed, because between the pain in your stomach and the pressure from the customers, it was overwhelming. To make matters even worse, your restaurant owner Jiah, a certified misogynist, stood next to you as you prepared each of the dishes. Every mistake you made, or anything you said to Hetty, was being monitored. At first, it was fine—still stressful, but you were so preoccupied that you didn’t care. Until you accidentally spilled three of your cheesecakes on the ground.

Every time someone shouted at you, it felt like someone was digging into your sides. Your vision blurred slightly as you bent down to clean up the mess. As you rose, you saw Jiah’s disapproving glare. You braced yourself, knowing a reprimand was imminent.

“Do you even know how much those cheesecakes cost?” Jiah hissed, his face reddening.

"Sorry-"

You nodded, biting your tongue to keep from snapping back. Losing your temper wouldn’t help anything, especially not with Jiah watching your every move. Taking a deep breath, you focused on the tasks at hand, prioritizing the most urgent ones. Hetty’s voice cut through the noise of the kitchen, but you tuned her out as best you could. There was no time to waste arguing with her or explaining why you couldn’t drop everything to clean the station right this second.

The cramps were relentless, and you clutched your stomach briefly, willing the pain to subside. A few of your colleagues noticed and offered sympathetic looks, but they were just as swamped as you were. It was clear that everyone was feeling the strain of the lunchtime rush.

You managed to get the cheesecakes into the oven and started on the turkeys. The repetitive motions of seasoning and prepping gave you a momentary distraction from the pain. But it wasn’t long before Hetty was back, barking orders again.

“You still haven’t cleaned the station! And where’s the ice cream?” she demanded.

“Working on it,” you muttered, trying to keep your voice steady. But the frustration was building, and you could feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You blinked them back, determined not to let anyone see you break down.

Finally, a small reprieve: the cheesecakes were done, and you could focus on plating the desserts and getting them out to the customers. But just as you thought you might be able to catch your breath, Jiah appeared again. He didn’t say anything, but his disapproving glare spoke volumes.

You could feel his eyes on you, watching your every move. When you accidentally spilled three of your cheesecakes on the ground, Jiah’s look was withering. He didn’t need to say a word; his expression made it clear he was counting this as yet another mark against you.

“Get it together,” you heard him mutter under his breath, just loud enough for you to hear. You nodded, biting your tongue to keep from snapping back. Losing your temper wouldn’t help anything, especially not with Jiah watching your every move.

Taking a deep breath, you focused on the tasks at hand, prioritizing the most urgent ones. Hetty’s voice cut through the noise of the kitchen, but you tuned her out as best you could. There was no time to waste arguing with her or explaining why you couldn’t drop everything to clean the station right this second.

Just as it began to calm down again, Jiah's glare disappearing from notion, Hetty came over to apologize for being stressy.

"Sorry for earlier," she said, her tone uncharacteristically soft. "I know I was a bit much."

You accepted her apology with a nod. "It's okay. We were all under a lot of pressure. I was just about to go to the toilet."

Before you could make your way to the restroom, a call came through the kitchen, telling everyone to gather in the staff room. You tried to hold yourself together, though you could feel tears threatening to flow. The cramps were still gnawing at your insides, and the stress of the day had worn you thin.

As you and the rest of the staff assembled in the cramped room, the air was thick with apprehension. Jamie, another manager, stormed in, his face a mask of fury. He didn't waste a second before launching into a tirade.

"I just got a bollocking from the owner! What the hell happened here?" he bellowed. "This is so embarrassing! We've had multiple complaints from customers, dishes sent back, and unacceptable delays. This is not the standard we uphold here!"

His words were like blows, each one landing heavily. You stood there, silent and still, trying to absorb it all without breaking down. The cramps were relentless, making it hard to concentrate on anything other than the pain.

For about forty minutes, Jamie continued his verbal assault, highlighting every mistake and misstep. You could feel the tension in the room, everyone too afraid to speak or move. As he yelled, you just stood there, taking it in, feeling smaller and more defeated with every passing second.

"This has to stop now," Jamie continued, his voice growing louder. "I expect better from all of you. No more excuses. The owner is furious, and honestly, I can't blame him. Today was a disaster!"

With that, he stormed out, leaving the staff in stunned silence. You could feel the tears threatening to spill over, but you fought to keep them at bay. The pain in your stomach and the weight of Jamie's words were almost too much to bear.

Hetty gave you a sympathetic look but didn't say anything. Everyone slowly dispersed, heading back to their stations or taking a moment to collect themselves. You made a beeline for the restroom, finally letting the tears flow once you were safely behind the closed door.

Just as you began to take a couple of minutes to calm down, Jamie pulled you over.

"Hey, I need to ask you something," he said, his tone softer but still urgent. "Are you willing to leave early today?"

You had already had to cut a shift recently, and your hours were pretty low. "I really need the hours, Jamie. I'd prefer to stay."

He frowned. "I need to get rid of some staff because there's too many on right now."

You tried to politely refuse again, but before you could finish, he called out, "Hayley! Do you want to leave early?"

"Sure," Hayley replied without hesitation.

"See, it's not personal," Jamie said, turning back to you. Feeling completely deflated, you turned to get your stuff and clock out.

As you gathered your things, Jamie turned to you one more time. "By the way, you sat down too much today."

You were gobsmacked. "I didn't sit down at all."

"No, you were," he insisted. "And that's not acceptable."

You went to protest again, but he cut you off. "No, you were, and that's not acceptable."

Feeling a mix of frustration, exhaustion, and defeat, you bit back any further response. As you clocked out and walked out of the restaurant, you felt the tears begin to well up again.

By the time you got on the bus, the tears were streaming down your face. You found a seat at the back, hoping no one would notice as you buried your face in your hands and sobbed. The day's events replayed in your mind: the stress, the pain, the unfairness of it all. It felt like the weight of the world was pressing down on you, and you couldn't hold it in any longer.

As the bus moved through the city streets, you cried, letting out all the frustration and sorrow. You knew you had to face another day tomorrow, but for now, all you could do was let yourself feel the pain and hope that somehow, things would get better.

When you arrived home, you tried to wipe away your tears, determined to put on a brave face for Jude Bellingham, who had just returned from football camp. You were emotionally drained but wanted to be supportive and positive for him.

As you walked through the door, Jude was in the kitchen, looking relaxed and cheerful. He noticed your subdued demeanor but decided to wait before saying anything.

"Hey, how was work?" he asked, trying to keep his tone light.

"It was... busy," you replied, forcing a smile. "But let’s not focus on that. How was camp?"

Jude’s face lit up as he started recounting his experiences. "Camp was fantastic! We had some intense training sessions and a lot of fun. You won’t believe the prank Trent and I pulled on the new guys. We got them to believe they had to complete this ridiculous obstacle course to join the team."

He continued with animated enthusiasm, "And then there was the friendly match against a local team. Trent and I were trying out these new moves, and it was amazing to see the crowd’s reaction. We felt like rock stars!"

You nodded and smiled at the right moments, trying to engage with his excitement, but your mind kept drifting back to the stress of the day. Despite your efforts to seem interested, you felt a growing sense of overwhelm.

Jude’s stories flowed effortlessly. "Oh, and the camp mascot incident was hilarious. Trent and I ended up in the costume, and we had this impromptu dance-off with the kids. It was one of those moments where you just can’t stop laughing."

As he chatted, you found yourself struggling to keep up the façade. Your responses became more mechanical, and you occasionally glanced at the clock, feeling the weight of your exhausting day pressing down on you.

Jude seemed to sense something was off but kept going. "You know, I was telling Trent about how you and I used to go to that little café downtown. He said he’s been there before and loved it. We should go sometime."

You forced a laugh and nodded. "That sounds great."

As dinner preparation continued, you made an effort to stay present, but the stress from earlier was starting to take its toll. You kept insisting you were fine, even though you felt increasingly overwhelmed.

In the midst of this, you were preoccupied with trying to balance cooking and maintaining a cheerful demeanor. As you pulled a dish out of the oven, you accidentally brushed against the hot rack. The sudden sharp pain in your hand was like a jolt that broke through your emotional walls.

You cried out and rushed to the sink, holding your burned hand under the cold tap, your composure finally shattering. Tears streamed down your face as the pain seemed to trigger a flood of emotions from the stressful day.

Jude, who had been in the living room, heard your cry and the sound of your sobbing. He rushed into the kitchen and saw you with your hand under the tap, tears flowing freely.

"Hey, what happened?" Jude asked urgently, moving quickly to your side.

"I—I burned myself," you managed to say through sobs. "I’m so sorry... I tried to keep it together, but I couldn’t."

Jude gently took your hand from under the tap and inspected the burn. His concern deepened as he carefully wrapped your hand in a clean towel.

“Hey, hey, hey. Don’t cry, m’love. It’s okay—speak to me,” Jude said, his voice filled with concern as he moved to your side.

“What do you mean? I’m okay, I just burned myself,” you tried to explain, though your voice was trembling.

“Y/N, do you think I was born yesterday? I know my girlfriend, and I know when she’s upset. What happened?” Jude asked, his tone gentle but firm.

His insistence broke through your remaining resolve. You burst into tears, the emotional strain of the day combining with the pain of the burn. “I—I had such a terrible day. Jamie was so harsh, and everything seemed to go wrong. I was trying so hard to keep it together, but I just couldn’t anymore.”

Jude’s expression softened, filled with empathy and concern. “No, don’t say that. You’re not stupid. You’re my Y/N. You’ve been through so much, and you’ve handled it with so much strength and grace.”

He gently took your hand from under the tap and wrapped it in a clean towel. Pulling you into a comforting embrace, he continued, “Your a trooper you know.”

You clung to him, the warmth of his embrace providing a much-needed sense of security. Jude held you close, his arms wrapping around you with tenderness. He stroked your hair softly and whispered in your ear, “You’re amazing, you know that? You’re allowed to have bad days and to feel overwhelmed. I’m here to help you through it, no matter what.”

You buried your face in his shoulder, letting the tears flow freely as he continued to hold you. Jude’s soothing presence and gentle touch helped ease the burden of the day. He spoke softly, his voice full of love and reassurance. “You’ve been so strong, but it’s okay to let go and lean on me. I’m here to support you, to lift you up when you need it.”

Jude carefully wrapped your burned hand in a clean towel, his touch gentle but deliberate. He then pulled you into a comforting embrace. “Why don’t you head to the living room and take a breather? I’ll sort out dinner. And try not to make any more of the place look like a disaster zone, yeah?”

You managed a weak smile as you headed to the living room, still sniffling. The sounds of Jude bustling around in the kitchen—pots clattering, the hum of the stove—provided a bit of distraction as you settled onto the couch.

A few minutes later, Jude walked into the living room with his phone in hand and plopped down beside you. He placed his phone on the coffee table and began gently wiping away the tears from your cheeks.

“I don’t want anyone treating you like that,” Jude said firmly, but with a soft edge. “I’ve had a word with the higher-ups about Jamie. It’s not on.”

You looked at him, surprised. “You did? How’d you manage that?”

Jude grinned. “Let’s just say I’m good at sorting things out when it comes to my people."

You chuckled despite yourself. “Well, thanks. I didn’t think you’d go this far.”

Jude gave a cheeky wink. “I was gonna sort it anyway, oh, also, um well now seemed like the perfect time.”

"Jude-"

He pulled out his phone and showed you the screen. “I’ve had a chat with my agent. "

"What?!!"

"Got you a photography gig lined up. It’s something you’ve always wanted to do. Figured now’s as good a time as any.”

You were stunned, your eyes widening. “What-? How-When? How did you even know I wanted this now?”

Jude’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “I’ve been paying attention, love. You think i haven't notice your Pinterest boards? Or your amazon wish list?”

You laughed, a genuine smile spreading across your face. “I don’t even know what to say. This is amazing.”

Jude squeezed your hand gently. “You don’t have to say a thing. Just remember, you’re brilliant, and you deserve all the good things. And if you ever leave me for a glamorous photographer life, just make sure to give me a shout-out in your interviews.”

You playfully nudged him. “Oh, so you’re worried I’ll become too famous for you?”

Jude grinned. "If that means sharing a bit of the limelight, so be it.”

You leaned into him, feeling a mix of relief and affection. “I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you.”

Jude wrapped his arms around you. “I’m the lucky one. Seeing you happy is what matters to me. Now let’s enjoy the rest of the night. And if dinner turns into a burnt mess, at least we’ll have a laugh about it.”

Jude’s comforting presence and playful banter started to lift the weight of the day, bringing a renewed sense of hope and connection. His support and Brummie humor made the evening feel a lot brighter and more manageable.

[wandanatsgf]

Lovers, Vampires, Strangers Part 2

Pairing: Vampire!Wanda x Vampire!Reader

Word Count: 2886

Summary: This story starts in the year 1850. You and your girlfriend Wanda are happy together. You have everything you could ever want, until she secretly turns you into a vampire. After a horrible accident, you leave her and that life behind. Now 173 years later, she's come to ask you for a favor.

Part 1

Part 2: 2023, The Second Shittiest Year of my Life

“What do you want Wanda?” I ask the girl who was frantically banging on my door.

“I need a place to stay for a few days, please,” she begs. It makes me laugh. She really thinks I would help her after what she did? She’s insane.

“No way,” I tell her.

“Please Y/n,” she asks again.

“No,” I say. “I’m not letting you into my home or life again, Wanda.”

I go to shut the door when a small bullet sized wooden stake comes whizzing through the air. It flies through the small crack in my door from where I haven’t shut it all the way. I hear Wanda yell out some cuss words, while I barely manage to dodge the bullet. I should’ve just shut the door and let Wanda fend for herself, this is her problem after all. But I, being the idiot that I am, didn’t.

“Fine you can come in,” I say, pulling the brunette girl inside with me. I quickly shut and lock the door.

“What the hell was that Wanda?” I exclaim as I run through my house, grabbing the first bag I see. I put the guns and knives that II keep hidden throughout my home in there, in case whoever is outside tries to go after me, since I too am a vampire.

“That was Natasha,” she says like that explains everything.

“She’s a girl I…used to be with. She’s a little angry is all.”

“A little angry?!? She just tried to kill you Wanda.”

“Yes well vampire hunters tend to do that Y/n.”

“What the actual hell Wanda. You brought a vampire hunter to my front door?!?”

“Not on purpose. I didn't know she was a vampire hunter when I was sleeping with her. And I thought I had lost her back in Budapest. Clearly someone is determined to kill me.” Wanda rolls her eyes as she talks, as if this Natasha girl is a mere annoyance, like a gnat or a fly, and not a hunter trying to kill her.

I’m so mad at her I don’t even know what to say. I finish gathering my things, but I leave my phone in case someone tries to use it to find my location. I make sure I avoid all windows as I make my way to the secret exit of my house that will lead me to the other side of town, the exit I had installed in case of emergencies just like this. I go to the bookshelf door I had installed and open it.

“Are you coming or not?” I call out to Wanda, who was currently just standing there. Wanda quickly moves to where I am, not avoiding windows. Which leads to them being shot out by Natasha.

“Great another thing I have to deal with,” I mumble under my breath.

“What was that?” Wanda snarkily asks.

“I said great that’s another thing I have to deal with. Because of you,” I add on.

“Oh please don’t act like your life was all sunshine and rainbows before I got here,” she says as I lead her down a staircase. “We both know you were lonely without me.”

“Really? I’m the lonely one?” I say. “I can assure you, Wanda I have been anything but lonely since you left.”

“You really think Kate Bishop can fill my place that easily?”

“And how do you know about her?” Wanda says nothing, but it’s clear she had been keeping tabs on me.

“I should’ve known you’d never leave me alone, Wanda. You were always the possessive type.” I turn down a corridor and open the door. I walk out and into open air. The passage leads to a road two streets over where my getaway car is stashed.

“I’m not possessive. I just don’t want anyone to have what’s mine,” she says. I chuckle under my breath, reading through her lie. I choose to ignore her and walk over to a car, praying that it’s unlocked. Of course it isn’t, but i guess when you have vampire strength it doesn’t really matter. I get into the car in no time and I make quick work of hot wiring it so I can get away, and hopefully leave Wanda here. I get the car on and I climb in, quickly locking the doors so Wanda can't.

"What do you think you're doing?" Wanda asks, clearly annoyed. She stomps her feet like a child and it makes me laugh.

"I'm leaving," I say through my laughter.

"Not without me you aren't."

"Yes I am. I got you away from Natasha, which you're welcome for by the way. Now I'm off to save my own skin. Now get out of my way or be roadkill Wanda. Your choice." Wanda refuses to move, much to my annoyance.

"Move Wanda," I scream out.

"No," she screams back. I can feel my annoyance rising with every passing second, and then Natasha runs around the corner, guns blazing. I unlock the car and allow Wanda to hop in before I floor it. I pull out of the parking space, driving away as fast as I can, leaving Natasha in the dust.

"Happy?" I finally ask once we have gotten a little further down the road.

"Yes, very." I can tell she is pleased with herself, something that I absolutely loathe. I choose to ignore her so I don’t blow up.

We drive for what feels like forever, and I being a vampire would know what forever feels like. So trust me when I say it felt like forever.

Wanda does her best to annoy me, but I ignore her every time, not in the mood for her games. Eventually I pull into a decent looking hotel on the side of the road. I’m not sure where we are, but we’ve driven for at least 16 hours straight and I’m tired. Well as tired as you can be when you’re undead.

“Here we are,” I say as I park the car.

“Where are we?”

“I don’t know. But we’re safe aren’t we? You could be a bit more thankful,”

“It would be safer if we knew where we are,” Wanda retorts.

“Well why don’t you work on that while I get us a room.”

“Fine,” Wanda says, for once not starting an argument.

I happily hop out of the car, grateful to be away from Wanda, and I enter the lobby.

“Hi I need two rooms,” I say to the front desk lady.

“I’m sorry we only have one room available.”

“Fine I guess that’ll work,” I grumble. It really doesn’t work for me but I’ll just have to suck it up…or sleep in my car. Honestly I’d do anything to not be near Wanda for longer than I have to.

“And how will you be paying?”

“I won’t be. The bill will be comped by the hotel,” I tell the girl. I look in her eyes and change the tone of my voice, activating my compulsion.

“Here you go,” the girl says cheerily, handing me my room key.

“Thanks.”

I walk back to the car where I had left Wanda to give her the bad news.

“Unfortunately they only had one room,” I grumble, throwing her a room key.

“Don’t sound so upset. It’ll be just like old times,” she says, sending me a wink. I let out a scoff at her words.

“I’d rather sleep on the cement than in a bed with you Wanda.”

“Fine have it your way,” she says. She gets out of the car and walks into the hotel and to our room. I try and make myself comfortable in the car, but it’s no use. It’s too small and too hot. I grab one of my guns that I had brought and tuck it into the waistband of my pants then I reluctantly go inside, bracing myself for the snarky comment I know Wanda is about to say.

“Aww I knew you’d change your mind. I’m just too irresistible.”

“God you’re so full of yourself. But no I’m in here because the car was uncomfortable. It has nothing to do with you Wanda.”

“Sure, whatever helps yourself sleep at night.”

God this woman is infuriating. I choose to ignore her last comment.

“So you’re not talking to me now?” I give her the silent treatment.

"Real mature y/n."

"Whatever Wanda. I'm going to go get us some essentials, try not to get into trouble while I'm gone," I say, just wanting to get out of here and away from Wanda.

"Aww sounds like someone cares about me," she teases.

"No I just don't want all of this hard work to go to waste," I say as I walk out the door. It's currently 10pm at night so luckily anywhere I go should be jut about empty. I drive to the nearest Walmart, leaving Wanda in the dust at the hotel. I get us some toiletries and snacks (because yes even though we are vampires and undead we still like human food). My next stop is a blood bank, where I steal as much blood as I can. I prefer it this way over drinking straight from the source. It's much cleaner and not so scarring to humans. After about two hours I make my way back to the hotel, carrying my shopping bags inside, only to find Wanda gorging herself on a member of the cleaning staff.

"Wanda," I yell out. She drops the maid and her face takes on a guilty look, like a child who knows they are doing something bad.

"Yes?" She tries to adopt a nonchalant tone but it isn't working.

"I literally told you not to get into trouble and the first thing you do is get into trouble."

"But I was hungry," she says, as if that justifies her actions.

"I don't give a damn if you're hungry Wanda. If I tell you to do something so do it."

"That's funny I don't remember ever taking orders from you, but you sure did take a lot from me," Wanda says, referencing the times when the two of us would sleep together, before I hated her guts.

“Well things have changed Wanda. I’m trying to keep us alive and away from your vampire hunter ex. So either listen to me or leave.”

“Fine,” is all she says. She goes off to the bathroom to shower while I heal the woman Wanda had just dropped. I compel her to forget anything had ever happened, and off she goes back to work.

I close the door behind her and I put my grocery bags down and put things away. After I’m done and had a snack and some blood, I tuck my gun out of my waistband and put it on the small side table. I jump into bed. The bed is rock hard. There’s absolutely no give or bounce in it whatsoever, but I guess an aching back is a small price to pay for safety.

“Move over,” Wanda says once I had finally gotten myself comfortable.

“No,” is all I say back.

“Yes. Move or I’ll make you move y/n.”

I refuse to move, ignoring the glares that Wanda throws at me.

“Fine have it your way.” She walks over to me and picks me up as if I weigh nothing. I try to resist, but it's pointless, and she moves me anyway.

"I'm older than you and I'm stronger than you. Next time it would be wise to do as you're told," she whispers into my ear. Her words have me blushing. A fact that I try to hide form her, but of course she notices.

"Did my words make you needy baby?"

"Fuck off Wanda," I say, but it doesn't come out as strong as I want it to.

"No baby I think you want me to fuck you, isn't that right?"

Her dirty words send my thoughts racing back to the times when we had slept together and how good it felt. But that was before she hurt me, and this is now. And now I don't like her. Even if she's gorgeous and makes me feel good. She's still the woman who turned me against my will. She's still the woman who hurt me, the woman I hate. So I form my resolve.

"No goodnight Wanda," are the next words that come out of my mouth. Wanda's mouth opens and closes like a fish, she's shocked that I didn't give in. I get up and turn off the lights and the two of us lay there in silence. I'm sure Wanda is seething in silence at being told no, but it isn't my problem. I quickly fall asleep, and I only wake up when I hear a loud banging noise.

The door to our room is kicked in, making us jump out of bed. In comes a brunette woman I don't recognize.

“Oh great and who’s this? Another one of your exes?”

“Actually yes,” Wanda and the woman sat at the same time. The woman walks closer to the bed, while Wanda and I try to walk further away without blocking yourselves in.

“Of course it is,” I say rolling my eyes. “How’d you piss this one off?”

“She may or may not be a vampire hunter also. So y’know when she found out about me she wasn’t exactly my biggest fan,” Wanda whispers to you.

“Really Wanda? You sleep with two fucking vampire hunters when you’re a vampire yourself. Are you stupid?” I whisper back.

“Haven’t I already proven that yes I am stupid.”

“I guess you’ve got a point there,” I say.

"Are you two done arguing now?" The woman asks.

"Yes Maria, we're done." Ok so Maria is her name. "Can you just get this over with," Wanda says, her tone sounding exasperated.

"Oh come on Wanda, I wanna drag this out. Hurt you just like you hurt me." Maria pulls the sleeve of her black jacket off her shoulder, showing off the scars that mar it.

"What the fuck did you do?" I look at Wanda, but there's no emotions on her face.

"What I had to do to survive." Wanda glares at Maria, but it's not the playful one she has been giving you all day. This is a true glare. The kind that says I want you dead.

Maria lunges and Wanda deflects her punch while you try and grab your car keys, which are all the way across the room. You almost make it, but then Maria grabs you by your hair, pulling you back. You claw at her arm, digging your nails into her skin. She shrieks and lets you go, turning her attention back to Wanda.

"How'd you find me anyway?" Wanda asks as she ducks under Maria's fist.

"Your little pet led me right to you. She wasn't as inconspicuous as she thought at that blood bank. I was just going to kill her, but then I realized she was with you, and well, I didn't want to waste such a delicious opportunity." Wanda's eyes turn a dark black color, something that only happens when a vampire is truly emotional, and strikes Maria, making the woman stumble. While she's disoriented I run to the side table and grab my gun. I hate using these things on humans, but if it means I get to live I'll do it. I aim for her leg and pull the trigger.

"That should keep her occupied for a while, now let's go," I tell Wanda. We both run out of the room, car keys in my hand. We both jump in the car, leaving Maria behind in the hotel room.

"Looks like being attacked wasn't my fault this time," Wanda says once our adrenaline has finally gone down.

"Well you still dated this one too so I'm sure this is somehow also your fault."

"Ok whatever you say," Wanda says, although I know she doesn't agree with me. "So we've got Natasha and Maria on our tails now, so where do we go now? With the both of them following us, there aren't many places that would be safe."

"I might know a place," I say. "It's like a safehouse of sorts."

"Why didn't we go there in the first place?"

"it's complicated," I say, not wanting to answer her question.

"Like how Natasha and I are complicated? Or Maria and I?"

"Not exactly," is all I say, and thankfully Wanda drops the subject. We drive for a few more hours until I finally turn into a driveway. The house before us looks like any other house in the suburbs would. There's flowers and trees lining the driveway and a little picket white fence around the house. You would never suspect that a supernatural creature lives inside it.

We walk up to the door and all I feel is anxiety. I had taken us to the one place I hadn’t wanted to go to, but it’s out last option. It’s the only place I know that would be 100% safe. So reluctantly I knock on the door, praying the woman who lives on the other side of it answers, and that this won't be another decision that bites me in the butt.

[steddieas-shegoes]

Congratulations on 3k! Really enjoy your drabbles and fics :)

"Who cares if it was meant to be or not?"

Thank you so much!

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

The band took the stage a few minutes late. Eddie had gone missing shortly before their final warning, and they can’t exactly perform without their lead guitarist.

When he was found, he’d been crying, but he brushed it off like it was nothing, said he was good to go.

He wasn’t. He had one of the worst shows of his life. Not a great look for a band trying to get a headlining tour.

No one said anything after; Eddie was already upset enough. With himself, with someone else, maybe both.

Eventually, Jeff couldn’t take the moping.

“Alright, man. You wanna tell us what’s going on? We just had a pretty shitty show and you look like you’re ready to have a breakdown,” he said as he sat next to Eddie on the couch of their tour bus.

“Sorry. Um. Sorry guys. Just. Had it out with Steve earlier.”

“Is-“ Gareth started to ask. “Are you guys okay now? Did you call him after?”

“No. No, I don’t think he wants me to.”

Everyone stared at Eddie in disbelief. Sure, they teased him all the time for falling for the jock stereotype, but they were perfect for each other. Everyone who knew them knew that.

“Why not?”

“Some things just aren’t meant to be, Gare.”

“No! Fuck that! Who cares if it was meant to be or not?” Gareth paced the floor. “You guys are so good together. You’re like a damn romance novel or something. Like those stupid chick flicks.”

“Gareth.” Jeff’s tone got his attention, but Eddie didn’t look up. “It’s not our business.”

“Like hell it isn’t. He just played like shit! We deserve to know why.”

Eddie stood up and walked to his bunk.

“Good job, idiot,” Grant rolled his eyes and followed.

“I’m calling Steve,” Gareth said. “Something’s gotta be done.”

“Dude, just leave it. They’ll either work it out or they won’t.”

“And if they don’t, Eddie’s gonna be like this forever.” Gareth pulled his cell phone from his pocket and opened his text thread with Steve. “If it’s so bad, Steve will ignore me.”

Hey call me

Not now

Please Eddie’s a fuckin mess

Gareth’s phone started ringing. He smirked up at Jeff, who walked away with his hands crossed over his chest.

“Steve.”

“Is Eddie okay?”

“No. What happened? We just had the shittiest show-“

“But is he okay?”

“No! What happened before the show?”

He could hear Steve sniffle.

“I just. It’s hard. It’s hard being here and he’s never here. And I know that’s what we agreed was best for this tour, but it’s hard. And he keeps saying he misses me and it hurts because what am I supposed to do?” Steve was crying now, Gareth was fighting his own tears. “So I told him to do something about it earlier and he told me he couldn’t and it turned into us arguing about his priorities and I didn’t even mean that I thought the band was more important than me, it just sucks. It’s hard.”

“Steve, I get it man. I mean, I don’t. But I know it’s hard. For both of you. Did you-“ Gareth bit his lip. “Did you break up?”

“Yeah. I think so.”

“Can you unbreak up?”

“Maybe. But-“

“Gareth, who is that?” Eddie’s voice asked from the curtain to the bunk beds. His eyes were red, tear tracks not even dry on his cheeks. “Is that Steve?”

“Yeah.”

Eddie came over and sat next to Gareth, grabbing the phone from him.

“Steve?” He sounded broken. “Are you okay?”

Gareth got up and went back to the bunks.

“The fuck did you do?” Jeff asked.

“Fixed it. You’re both welcome,” Gareth got in bed and smiled as he heard Eddie laugh.

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

The next night was better.

The night after that, Steve was standing backstage, wearing Eddie’s vest and singing along to the songs.

And every night after that, and on their first headlining tour, and their next one, and their next one, Steve was there for most nights.

Eddie gave his everything because he had his everything.

[girlboypersonthingy]

Hey! I saw you were starting to write for Blitzø so I’d love to request something! Could you do Blitzø x fem or gn reader in which reader comforts him after he has a very bad day and reassures him about his insecurities? That man needs to let himself cry in front of someone and also needs a hug! I love him sm I need more works where we can comfort him!! 🫶🏻

SORRY NOT SORRY I SKIPPED OVER LIKE 6 OTHER REQUESTS BC I NEED TO WRITE THIS ANGSTY BLITZ REQUEST IMMEDIATELY ITS TOO GOOD IM SO- 😳🥺 I just wanna hold him…enjoy, anon~

Notes: imp!reader, gn!reader, not an established relationship but mutual crushing and pining, reader works at IMP, angst to fluffy comfort

Blitzø x reader- Bad Day 💔

Blitz had the shittiest shit day ever and was ready to fall asleep and stay asleep forever. Between feeling excluded and lonely after seeing Millie and Moxxie’s displays of affection during dinner at Ozzie’s, then Fizz and Verosika giving him shit in front of the entire restaurant and Stolas being disgustingly clingy as always, Blitz felt himself breaking down, deteriorating from the inside out. It really stuck with him when he heard a restaurant patron shout, “YOU’RE SLEEPIN’ WITH AN IMP?” when referring to him and Stolas. What an embarrassment for both of them. He already has a very low self-esteem and that comment just solidified all his intrusive thoughts- no matter who he’s with, how successful he becomes, how much money he has, he’ll always be just an imp.

Blitzø stumbled through the front door of his apartment, rapidly proceeding to Loona’s room with a small smile. His precious girl always cheers him up, even when she’s in a bad mood…which is always. At the exact moment he sees the note on her door saying that she is out at a party, his smile drops to a disappointed frown. With the upper half of his body hunched over, his arms dangling limply by his sides, he trudges over to the couch and collapses on it with a huff.

This feeling was way too overwhelming- he felt suffocated by his clothes, pushed around and beaten by his own mind. He felt defeated and had no idea how to get himself out of this state of mind. He pulls out his phone to scroll through some pictures, maintaining his lonely frown the whole time. Blitz rolls his eyes at an old pic of him and Verosika. Then, he finds himself looking at a photo of his mom, sister and him, so happy, so close. After only seconds of looking into the picture, all his feelings unexpectedly erupt from him. The tears forced their way to the surface, gushing down his red and white cheeks. His chest felt like it was gonna cave in any second now, his lungs forgetting how to breath calmly.

“Fuck…” He chokes out while tossing his phone aside and sprawling out over the couch. He couldn’t hold it in anymore. He couldn’t stop the tears from welling up and overflowing, he couldn’t slow his breaths, he couldn’t even open his eyes they felt so swollen already. He had never felt so alone before. Laying on his stomach with his wet, snotty face in the pillows, he completely lets loose. A guttural, miserable, shaky moan leaves him as he weeps, his fists clenching around nothing in particular.

Just as he sucks in a quivering gasp of air, the sound of the front door opening caused him to hold his breath and stay completely still. “Blitz?” Fuck…of all people to walk in on him during his pathetic mental breakdown, why you? He’s literally praying that you’ll just go away but he knows you won’t, you’ll keep looking until you find him. He knows this, but he stays hidden and silent on the couch until you finally walk around and see him.

“Blitz? Whats wrong? What happened?” Stepping over to him quickly then kneeling on your knees beside him, he seems to retreat even further away. Blitz scoots into the couch more, turning his head away from you as he exhales then inhales and then holds it again. “Are you okay?” Obviously, he’s not okay but he nods his head anyways. “You can talk to me, Blitz.” Finally, he lets out all the air he was holding in. “I don’t wanna fucking talk right now.” He manages to mutter out between hiccups and sniffles. “Oh…okay.” Your voice a soft whisper now, Blitz again finds his hands balled up into tight fists, his fingers digging deeply into his palms. Dammit…he did mean to snap at you.

But instead of abandoning him, you shimmy your way onto the couch next to him, one arm coming to wrap around his torso as you lay your head against his back. You can hear everything with your ear to his back- his shaky breathing, his soft whimpers he’s trying so hard to hold back. “We don’t have to talk. We can just…lay here. I’m with you, okay?” You pull him closer, his back up against your stomach as you give him a gentle squeeze.

He tried so fucking hard to conceal it, to play it off in front of you, he really did but he lost it again, crumbling apart right in your arms. After hearing the sweet words of reassurance you offered him and the way your hand was now rubbing slowly across his heaving chest and the way you didn’t leave him…he can’t help but let it all out. Blitz softly shakes against you, making your heart ache for him. You’ve seen him in so many different moods and different situations, in so many silly costumes and you’ve heard some pretty vile things leave his mouth but you’ve never seen him like this. He was an absolute mess.

Slowly and carefully, you scoot closer, fitting your knees perfectly in the back of his. With a slight hum and one hand still rubbing his chest, you close your eyes as you rest against his back still. “Is there anything I can do for you?” Softly, you speak as Blitz exhales deeply once again. “Anything you need, just say the word.” Your hand stops the rubbing of his chest as you take a moment to squeeze him again.

“Don’t leave me…” With a crack in his voice, Blitz finally responds before curling in on himself even more. “I’m not going anywhere, promise.” As you nuzzle your cheek against his back. Your reply calms him, allowing his body to finally soften into your embrace. Together, you lay like this for a while, finding comfort in the sound of each other’s breathing.

Eventually, Blitz weakly turns himself around to reveal his somewhat improved mood. His eyes are puffy and glossy but the tears had stopped. His frown is a nasty one, one of the worst you’ve ever seen him wear but his eyes show a hint of something more positive as well- a look of hope? admiration? appreciation? Now facing you and looking at your face right there in front of him, hope, admiration and appreciation all swelled within him. He felt so lucky to have you, as an employee, as a friend… and maybe you two would be more one day. Maybe more…today? Right now?

“Do you think I’m… just a stupid imp? That I’ll always be seen as just an imp?” He can’t bring himself to look at you now, eyes scanning the ceiling instead. “Do you think I’m just a stupid imp? Is that all you see me as?” You immediately reply, watching as he starts to over analyze the situation. “No, no, of course not. You’re…fucking awesome.” His eyes land on your face for a second before they shift back to the ceiling. “So are you, boss.” Blitz scoffs lightly at your words, giving you a disapproving glare. “No! Really! I mean it, Blitz.” A soft sigh comes from him and he’s having a hard time believing your words.

“It’s gonna be okay.” You say with a light hearted tone and a small smile. Gently, teasingly you reach up to his face and use your thumbs to pull the corners of his mouth up into a smile. “Awww! There he is, there’s my guy!” As you pull your hands away, a smile finds your face as you notice his smile doesn’t fall, he’s smiling for real now. It’s not a big smile, honestly it’s barely a smile at all but it’s something. It’s better than the horrible frown he had on earlier.

“You sure you don’t wanna talk about it?” You ask cautiously, not wanting to upset him anymore. “I’m sure.” His reply is immediate and short, making you stay quiet after. Instead of using your voice, you go back to comforting him physically. With one hand on his cheek again, cupping his face this time, Blitz leans forward to rest his forehead against yours. Simultaneously, you both close your eyes and let out a deep breath.

As you let your thumb trace back and forth over the skin of his cheek, Blitz opens his eyes again and takes this chance to just stare down at you, at your eyelashes, at your skin and any little scars or blemishes that decorate it, at your lips as they part momentarily to suck in a breath. Without thinking it over, he kisses you. It’s quick, not necessarily soft because he came in kind of fast but it wasn’t hard or sloppy or anything like that. It was sort of a test of the waters for Blitz. He wanted much more than a measly peck from you but he didn’t want go all in on you and scare you off or weird you out.

To his surprise, before he can get a good look at your reaction, you’re chasing his face as he pulls away. As you lean forward, a shocked ‘mmm’ rumbles from Blitzø’s throat when your lips meet his again. This time, the kiss lasts longer. It remains sweet and simple, there’s no tongue, no spit or even much movement from your mouths at all. After locking lips for a few seconds, you part to finally look at each other. Your smiles mock each other’s, both growing bigger and bigger.

This isn’t at all how either of you imagined your first kiss together. Blitz had something more rough and dirty in mind but he’s beyond grateful that you still respect him after seeing him in such a lowly position. You’re not sure what comes over him as he stares at your lips but he confidently yanks you back into him, kissing you again.

With his mouth still covering most of your own, he mumbles, “Earlier, you said anything I need and now I need you.” The kiss is deepened by Blitz carefully moving his lips against yours, both your heads tilting to find the perfect position. His hands roam up and down your back at an extremely slow pace as his mouth follows along, moving in tandem with yours.

“Yes, sir.”

And the rest of the evening is spent gently coddling and lovingly appreciating each other at such a close range. The kissing lasts so long, that eventually you’re both just lazily pecking each other on the lips over and over and over again with closed eyes and relaxed limbs. It’s nice, it’s simple yet romantic and Blitz has never felt more safe or comfortable in his entire existence.

“And if you tell anyone about this, I’ll kill you.”

“No, you won’t.”

“You’re right, I won’t. But please don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

[justagalwhowrites]

Shelter

IT'S FINALLY DONE!

A request from MONTHS ago from the lovely, the talented, the supreme Lavender fan @dundienominee who wanted some QZ era Joel angst that included a few specifics. I thought you'd sent an ask but I think it was just one of the millions of DMs lol

So here it is! A NON-CANON Lavender one shot, where Joel and Doc are stuck together when FEDRA puts the QZ on lockdown.

I hope this is what you're looking for, love!!

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader from Lavender (can be read independently with the understanding that Joel and Reader are exes and Reader also dated Tommy in the QZ.)

Warnings: SMUT!, Results of canon-typical violence, infidelity (not on each other). No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only.

Length: 8.4k

August, 2017

Joel had been right. 

That wasn’t a fact he particularly appreciated in that moment. He’d rather have been right and not shot. He’d rather have been wrong, for that matter, even if you’d be bound and fucking determined to hold it over him for the next who knows how fucking long. 

But no, he had to be right and shot. 

Still, better than another alternative. 

You shot. You hurt. That was the worst possible outcome. 

Well, maybe not the worst. That would be you dead.

Joel couldn’t think about that. 

“Shit,” you swore, the sound of FEDRA around the next corner. 

“There,” Joel said through gritted teeth, nodding toward a pile of junk. 

“Right,” you said, pulling him along toward it, your shoulder tucked into his underarm. You pulled him down to the ground just as a dozen or so FEDRA guards ran past, armed to the teeth, guns drawn. Joel fought to keep quiet, breathe silently through the pain, until he couldn’t hear them anymore. You looked at him. There was blood on your cheek. “Should we wait? Or do you think we’re good to move?” 

“So now you want to listen to me?” He asked sarcastically. You glared at him. He ignored it. “Should be alright now, doubt more troops will be headin’ that way from here.” 

You helped him to his feet and he leaned against you again, trying to ignore the way his body seemed to be hyperaware of everywhere you touched him. You started walking. 

“I’m really sorry, Joel,” you said, sounding a little breathless, as you started getting close to his apartment. “I really thought it would be alright…” 

“Maybe fuckin’ listen to me next time,” he managed through the pain. “Might not be a damn doctor but I do know about shit like this…” 

“I know,” you said quietly. 

Joel let the subject drop. 

The two of you had gone to the absolute shittiest part of the QZ to run medication to a boy there who had been in the clinic just a few days earlier. You’d gone on a special trip outside the QZ for it. You had explained it all to Joel and Tess, of course, but he didn’t really get it. All he knew was there was a four-year-old boy who needed some drug urgently. 

You just hadn’t bothered to explain where that drug needed to be taken until you, Joel and Tess made it back to the QZ. 

“No,” Joel had shaken his head. “No fuckin’ way…” 

“He’s going to die,” you said. “He has the flu, he’s already showing signs of complications, if he doesn’t get help it will kill him, I need…” 

“No.” 

“Fine,” you snapped. “I’ll go on my own.” 

You turned to leave. 

“No the fuck you won’t,” Joel grabbed your wrist, yanking you harshly alongside him. “Gonna just get yourself fuckin’ killed…” 

“Fuck off, Joel.” 

You pulled yourself from his grip and stalked off, leaving him no choice but to follow you. For someone as damn smart as you were, you made stupid fucking decisions. 

Decisions that led to the two of you getting caught in the crossfire between two rival groups that left Joel with a bullet in his stomach near his hip. 

“Almost there,” you said, your fingers holding tight to his side. 

“Know where the fuck we are,” he muttered. He didn’t need to look at you to know that you rolled your eyes in response. 

He managed to make it up the stairs and into the apartment, Tess pacing the living room. She stopped when she saw him, her eyes going wide. 

“Jesus Christ,” she ran to him, taking his other side. 

“Let’s get him to the table,” you said. “Trying to avoid doing this on the floor again…” 

Joel had all but forgotten that you’d saved his life here, in this room, once before. He had almost no memory of it, what little he did remember was more like a dream. You, next to him, your hands soft, voice gentle, something warm in him that was tied to you. You didn’t seem real, you seemed like something he’d lost, something that was in a place that was too far and too good for him to reach. But you were there. And you were taking care of him. 

“Fucking told you, Doc,” Tess snapped, helping to haul Joel’s broken body to the table. She cleared the papers and trash from it, dropping shit into a chair. “Fucking told you not to go to that side of the goddamn QZ…” 

“Yeah, I get it,” you snapped back. “I’m a fucking idiot, alright? Just help me.” 

You and Tess got Joel up on the table and he groaned, his muscle tensing and pulling around the wound in his stomach. 

“Sorry, sorry,” you said, helping him lay back on the wood with a grunt. 

“Don’t know why I let you talk us into this shit,” Tess said, still pissed, as she unbuttoned his shirt. “I should really fucking know better by now, you’re the dumbest smart person I know…” 

“Tess,” Joel growled. 

“She’s going to get you fucking killed,” she snapped. “She’s going to get us both fucking killed…” 

“Tess,” his voice was sharper. 

He knew that Tess was far from a fan of yours. She’d been growing tenser and tenser around you for a while now. He was never sure why, if it really was what she said and it was because she felt like you took stupid risks, if it was because he’d never been able to care about her the same way he cared about you in spite of how much he loathed it, if it was because she was tired of trying to keep the peace when you were so clearly done with him. For a while, it had seemed like the two of you were friends. Almost friends. But not anymore. 

“Someone has to give a shit if you live or die, Joel, and we both know that it’s not going to be you and it’s not going to be her, either,” she unbuttoned his jeans next. “So that leaves me.” 

“You think I don’t give a shit?” You asked, dropping your pack on a chair and yanking it open. “You think I keep you and him alive for fun?” 

“No, I think you do it so you can keep trying to save a place that can’t be fucking saved,” she was yelling now. 

“Tess.” 

“Shut up, Joel,” she barely glanced at him before rounding on you again. “I’m tired of being some tool in her goddamn stupid crusade…” 

“Tess.” 

“I didn’t fucking make him come with me!” You yelled back at her. “I would have gone on my own, he’s the one…” 

“You really think he’s the one who makes the decisions when it comes to you?” Tess shoved you. “You really think he’d let you run off to get yourself fucking killed? You’re an idiot sometimes, Doc, but you’re not that fucking stupid.” 

“Tess!” Joel was trying to sit up but she wasn’t paying attention. You were. You looked at him, frowning. 

“No,” she yelled, shoving you again. “No, I’m done with this shit, I’m done pretending that we’re doing fucking anything besides risking our fucking lives for some pointless…” 

“Tess!” He managed to sit up, grabbing her arm before she could shove you again. Her head spun, hair whirling, eyes narrowed. “She’s right, don’t fuckin’ blame her…” 

“She’s…” Tess shook her head. “You are so fucking stuck on her, on her bullshit, on…” 

“Get out.” 

You pulled gauze out of your pack and pressed it to the wound at his hip. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She gaped at him, her brows raised. 

“You can figure out how to fuckin’ respect her or you can go,” Joel said through gritted teeth. “Not gonna just let you talk about her…” 

“Her is right here,” you cut him off. “Stop talking about me like I’m not fucking here. And Joel you need to lie down before you fuck something else up, Jesus…” 

Tess looked between him and you before she shook her head and stepped back from the table. 

“Good fucking luck,” Tess snapped before stalking out and slamming the door behind her. 

You looked where she had been for a moment before nudging Joel back down onto the table. 

“You done?” You asked, brows raised. “Because I don’t need you to defend me from your girlfriend, Joel. I’m still going to keep you alive even if you both hate me.” 

“I don’t…”

“Stay still.”

He gritted his teeth and stared daggers at the ceiling while you worked on him for a moment, pressing gauze into his skin for a bit before pulling it away. 

“Don’t think you’ve hit anything major,” you said, more to yourself than to him. He still grunted in response. “Stay put, I still need to get that bullet out and get you cleaned up.” 

He followed you with his eyes as you went about collecting tools, cleaning yourself up, putting on sterile gloves. He tried to focus on you without it raising his blood pressure which, he figured, wouldn’t be the best thing to do when there was an open wound on his torso. 

But it was hard. 

It had been years with you like this. More than a decade. Thinking about you too much made his chest tight, his stomach clench. Thinking about you too much made him worry he might be having a fucking heart attack, that you just might be the death of him.

But you were still who he thought about when he needed comfort. Still where his mind went when he was in pain and he needed to remember why he should try to live through it. Still what he pictured when alone at night and he thought the loss and the emptiness of his life would swallow him whole. Still where his thoughts found when he wanted to come because nothing had ever felt as good as you. 

“Think you can sit still while I get this sucker out of you?” You asked. “Because I don’t exactly have someone here to hold you still at the moment.” 

“Just do it,” Joel squared his jaw and stared at the ceiling again. 

You were quiet for a moment before you touched his bared skin with the lightest, gloved touch. 

“I really am sorry,” you said softly. “I know… We have our issues but… I really hate seeing you hurt. I really hate getting you hurt.” 

Joel looked at you, your face drawn into a frown, your eyes sad. Even now, he thought you might be the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“I know,” he said, looking back at the ceiling. 

You were quiet and he could feel your eyes on him before he felt you slip some kind of instrument into the wound. He hissed through the pain of it but kept still. 

“I know,” you said, voice gentle and soothing. “You’re OK, it’ll be OK.” 

He remembered you using that voice with Sarah. He came home from work once and his daughter was perched on the counter, sniffling, her face streaked with tears. You were talking to her in that voice, a wad of paper towel held against her knee. 

“You’re OK. It’ll be OK.” 

“You with me, Miller?” You asked after what felt like an eternity but knew it must have only been a few minutes. “Need a break?” 

“Just finish it,” he managed through gritted teeth. 

You found the bullet and planted your hand firmly on the softness of his stomach. 

“Hold still,” you said. “This is going to have to be kind of slow, there’s relatively little damage, nothing major hit and I’d like to keep it that way.” 

You pulled on it and he could feel you moving through him, through the gaping wound him, pulling the pain out into the open air. 

When you finished, you held the bullet up, glistening with blood. 

“The cause of all this trouble,” you said, turning it in the light. “Let me patch some of this up and make sure you don’t bleed out. I don’t think you’ll need a blood transfusion this time at least…” 

Joel frowned, lifting his head slightly as you set to work. 

“What do you mean ‘this time?’” 

You froze for half a second before you tried to brush it off. 

“Just, you know,” you said. “In general.” 

He watched you work for a moment. 

“Hey.” 

You glanced at him before looking back at his wound. 

“What?” 

“You had to give me a blood transfusion last time?” He asked, trying not to groan at the pain. 

“I didn’t want to freak you out,” you said eventually, tucking gauze into the wound. “But… yeah, you were down a lot of blood and… Look, I did what I had to do to keep you alive.” 

You cleaned up the skin around his injury. 

“Whose blood?” 

“What?” You asked, focused on the task. 

“Whose blood did you use?” He asked. “Don’t imagine you went down to the clinic so whose blood.” 

You were quiet and Joel was about to ask again when you spoke. 

“We didn’t know your blood type,” you said quietly. “So Tommy would have been the best option…” your voice trailed off but he knew that wasn’t the end. He kept watching you and you sighed before you kept going. “But I’m O- so…” 

He just blinked for a moment. 

“It was yours.” 

Your eyes darted to his for half a second. 

“Yeah. It was mine.” 

He was quiet as you pulled off your gloves with a sharp snap. 

You’d saved him. Bled for him, poured yourself into him so he would keep breathing. He’d walked around for who knows how long with you pulsing through his body and he hadn’t known. 

“You should have told me,” he said eventually. 

“Yeah, well.” 

You started packing up. 

“You should have…” 

“I couldn’t be sure that you wouldn’t fucking slit your wrists if you knew, alright?” You snapped. “You hated me. You still hate me but it was worse then, you’ve figured out how to tolerate me in the last decade which is great and all but Jesus, Joel, don’t act like telling you was the easy thing to do.” 

You threw your pack over your shoulder and he sat up, ignoring the pain at his hip. 

“I need to get home,” you said. “Try not to wreck all my work…” 

There was a pounding at the door that made you jump. Joel shoved himself off the table and quickly buttoned his shirt as he limped for the door. 

“Bag down,” he said quietly. “Stay back.” 

You nodded, obeying him for once in your damn life. 

He opened the door slowly, cautiously. A FEDRA officer stood at his door. 

“Can I help you?” Joel tried not to growl, tried not to do anything that would incite suspicion. Not that he could help that he had on a bloody shirt with a fucking bullet hole in it. 

“There’s been increase violence in a nearby quadrant of the QZ,” the man said, barely looking at Joel. “We’re requiring all residents to shelter in place until further notice. Is everyone here a member of your household or does someone need an escort home?” 

Joel saw you step toward the door, opening your mouth like you were about to speak, but he held his hand out behind him, silencing you. 

“Same household,” he said. “We’re all set here.” 

“We’ll let you know when it’s safe to leave,” the guard said. “Lock your door.” 

He left before Joel had a chance to respond and he shut the door quickly before slumping against it. 

“Joel!” You hissed, going to his side and looping an arm around his waist. He leaned against you and you helped him to the couch. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

“You really want to get a fuckin’ FEDRA escort home?” He grimaced. 

“No,” you snapped, setting him on the couch. “But do you remember how long they locked us down for last time?” 

“No.” 

“A week,” you said, sitting on the threadbare arm chair. “And I’d rather get a FEDRA escort than have you kill me out of frustration in three days because that’s how long we’ll last before you get that fed up with me.” 

“Jesus, you really think we can’t manage to not kill each other for a few fuckin’ days?” He settled into the couch. “You n’me have survived a lot worse than that.” 

You scoffed. 

“Have we?” You asked, brows raised. “Besides, aren’t you worried about Tess?” 

He shrugged. 

“She can handle herself better than you can,” he said and you rolled your eyes. “You that worried about gettin’ back to Derek?” 

“Worried about FEDRA showing up at my door to look for relief for the clinic and not finding me,” you snapped. “Should have just let them…” 

“Not gonna let you go out there with those fucking assholes if people are out there shooting at each other!” Joel cut you off. “Don’t trust ‘em with shit let alone with you! I can keep you safe here so you’re staying here, it ain’t up for discussion!” 

You just blinked at Joel for a moment, a shocked look on your face. 

“Think we can handle not strangling each other for a few damn days,” he muttered, looking away from you. He couldn’t really handle looking at you. You didn’t say anything. You just got up, grabbing your pack and stalking further into the apartment. He frowned. “Where do you think you’re goin’?” 

“Don’t want to be around you any more than you want to be around me,” you said. “So I’m going to Tommy’s room…” 

“Always liked his bed,” Joel muttered, grinding his teeth. 

You flipped him off, not bothering to even look at him before slamming Tommy’s door behind you. 

***

Day 1

Tommy needed better hobbies. 

It was clear Joel had barely used Tommy’s room since he’d left. There were some boxes for storage - things you weren’t about to go searching through since you were pretty sure it was full of black market things from smuggling runs - but otherwise it was exactly how you remembered it. Not that you’d ever spent much time here. You liked to avoid Joel and Tommy seemed to like to avoid him even more than you did when you were around. You’d slept here a few times, when Joel was outside the QZ but Tommy had stayed behind, but he was much more likely to be at your place than his. 

But this room was all but a shrine to him. Or maybe more of a mausoleum, something left in memory of someone who was gone and would never be back. You hadn’t really realized how much you’d missed your friend until you were back in his space, surrounded by his things. 

You also realized that, in reality, you didn’t have a ton in common. Tommy’s book collection was… lacking. He had a few tattered Tom Clancy novels and you settled on one that you were pretty sure he’d brought over to your place once or twice. 

It wasn’t really your thing, though, and you were desperately bored. You were going to have to emerge from the room eventually to do more than pee and refill your water bottle in the bathroom sink. You were almost out of the jerky you’d packed for your trip outside the QZ and you’d never been very good at sitting still with nothing to occupy your mind. 

But you’d need to check on Joel’s injury at some point, anyway. Because looking at the ex who seemed to mostly hate you but apparently flew off the handle at the thought of you getting shot. 

Which you didn’t fully understand. If anyone asked you, you’d have sworn up and down that Joel would shoot you in the street if it wouldn’t make his life harder. You were surprised he hadn’t all but tossed you to an infected in the years you’d been going outside the QZ but the fact that you did things like pull bullets out of him and stitch Tess’ knife wounds closed was apparently a good enough reason to keep you alive. 

You didn’t see how that was a good enough reason to keep you from leaving his apartment when the two of you were about to be locked down for who the fuck knows how long. What were you supposed to do with… well, any of it? 

Your head dangled over the edge of the bed when you spotted a ratty tennis ball in the corner. You tumbled off the bed and picked it up, oddly grateful to have something to function as a distraction and started bouncing it off the wall, catching it out of the air when it bounced back at you. 

“The fuck you doing?” Joel called at you from the other side of the wall. 

You rolled your eyes. 

“Keeping myself from being so bored that I jump out a window.” 

He was quiet for a minute. 

You threw the ball again. 

“It’s annoying.” 

You caught the ball and then threw it. 

“Should’ve sent me off with FEDRA then.” 

For a moment, you thought that might be the end of it. And then the door opened. 

He’d gotten changed, at least, his new shirt as clean and intact as you could really find in the QZ and he looked a little pale. You looked him in he eye and you threw the ball again. 

“You tryin’ to piss me off?” He asked, one arm propped against the door frame. 

You shrugged and caught the ball. 

“You just make it so fun…” 

You threw the ball again and he came and snatched it out of the air. You glared at him. 

“Are you trying to make me miserable?” You asked. “Because it’s getting really old…” 

“Is that what you think I’m doing?” He snapped. “Think I decided to come find you in my brother’s bed because it’s fun…” 

“Oh will you stop fucking harping on that?” You shoved off the bed and stalked over to him in the doorway. “It’s ancient history! Think it’s time to get over the fact that your brother decided to pick up your broken toy…” 

“You think that’s why I’m pissed?” He asked, brows raised. 

You ignored him, dropping to your knees and yanking his shirt up. He stopped breathing and you checked his wound before getting to your feet. 

“In a few hours I’ll change your dressing,” you said, looking up at him as you stood almost shockingly close to him. You could see the pulse in his throat. “Leave me alone until then.” 

He clenched his jaw, looking you up and down, before storming off, yanking the door shut behind him. 

Day 2 

You waited until you heard the bathroom door close before you emerged. You were officially out of jerky and sitting in a room full of Tommy’s things while being sharply aware that he was thousands of miles away from you was wearing on you fast. You needed something - anything - to distract you. 

So you darted to the kitchen, grabbed a bag of jerky, and paused on your way past Joel’s room, his door cracked open. If you were quick…

You opened the, the hinges creaking, and ducked inside. 

It was neat, orderly. Like you remembered it being years ago when you were together. There were little signs of him everywhere, enough that you’d have recognized the room as his even if you’d walked into it in a strange place a thousand miles away. Little carvings on the window sill, the watch you’d helped Sarah picked for his birthday gift on the nightstand, a cracked Springsteen CD case sitting next to a worn boom box. You resisted the urge to touch the booklet and see if it fell open to a specific page, if you could tell what he’d been looking for when picking that album. 

Instead, you went to the bookshelf that was collapsing, worn boards sagging between cinderblocks. You recognized Joel’s taste in books, a little more in line with your own. You found a Cormac McCarthy book you hadn’t read with a spine that looked comfortably warn and pulled it, almost reverently, off the shelf. 

“The hell you doin’?” 

You jumped, almost dropping the book and the bag of jerky. 

“Sorry…” 

“I say you could come in here?” 

He was standing in the doorway in pajamas, his pants slung low on his hips, t-shirt stretched over his broad shoulders. 

“I am bored out of my mind,” you said, squaring your jaw even though you knew you shouldn’t be in his room. “I got desperate.” 

“You think that’s a reason to just waltz in…” 

“No, but…” 

“Sure acting like it!” 

“Is hating me fun for you?” You snapped. “Because it sure seems like it is! I don’t know why you’d work this hard at it if it wasn’t.” 

He looked you up and down for a moment. 

“Just get the fuck out of here,” he stepped to the side and you ducked around him, all but running back to the room you’d claimed as your own. 

You settled in on the bed with your new book, resting it on your knees and trying to forget how mad Joel had been just because you dared set foot in his room, as though you didn’t live together once in another life. It had been so easy for him to forget. You’d been so easy for him to forget. 

You opened the book and tried to get absorbed in the story but were having a hard time focusing, shifting around on the bed and hoping that a more comfortable position might make it so you could let yourself fall into it. You were changing positions for the third time when something fell out of the book and flitted like a leaf down to the worn quilt. You frowned, picking it up and turning it over in your hands. 

It was a picture. A picture of you. 

“What?” You whispered to yourself, eyebrows knitting together. 

It was a photo you recognized. Derek had it in his bedroom and he’d taken it without you knowing. You were folded into an armchair in his living room, a book in your hands, hair wild with a ribbon in to keep it out of your face. When he’d developed the photo, you remembered the day he’d taken it. One of the few that you had off from both jobs in the QZ. It had been warm that day, you hadn’t bothered to put on a bra or even pants, sitting around Derek’s place in a pair of his boxers and a tank top. He’d fucked you that morning, before it got too hot, and the two of you spent the day not moving much otherwise, not wanting to spend hours sticky with sweat and miserable. 

The day stuck out to you, though, not because of the heat or because you got to spend it somewhere besides the clinic or the school. Instead, it was because it reminded you of summer days in Austin with Joel. Trying not to run the AC too much, you sat far apart on the couch wearing as little as possible with Sarah coming and going from the house with friends. He would bring you glasses of ice water or lemonade almost every time he got up, his lips finding your forehead when he pressed the cold glass into your palm, his large hand finding your ankle because he had to be touching you in some way without making both of you miserable in the heat. 

And now Joel had a picture from that day, the one where he’d been on your mind the whole time, so much that you’d given up on trying not to think of him. 

You weren’t sure how he’d gotten it. Derek may have given him a copy if he’d asked but you didn’t know how he knew it existed. And why would he want a copy in the first place? 

You looked a little closer at it, the corners curling, edges peeling. Like it had been held a lot. There was a discolored almost halo around the edges of you, like someone had been tracing over the outline of you over and over again. 

There was a sharp knock on your door and you stuffed the photo into the book again. 

“What?” You asked, tone softer than it had been when speaking to Joel in years. 

“Mind checkin’ this damn wound?” He asked through the door, his voice oddly gentle. “Since you’re here and all. Make yourself useful.” 

“Yeah,” you said. “Yeah, of course. No problem.” 

You made sure the photo was tucked away and set the book on the nightstand, keeping your fingers crossed that Joel didn’t realize which book you’d taken. 

***

Joel didn’t like that you’d taken to hiding in Tommy’s old room. 

He didn’t like that you were still here. Or so he tried to tell himself. Really, he didn’t like that you were still here without being here, like you were the ghost in his house in the same way it seemed you’d spent most of the last decade. You were just more corporeal now. 

He was used to you crossing his mind all the time. Used to the feeling that, any second now, you’d come around the corner as you finished braiding your hair or with a little bottle of nail polish in your hand or a book in fucking French tucked below your arm. He knew what to do with that. 

He didn’t know what to do with you actually here, in such close quarters. Especially not when you seemed to find such comfort in just the memory of his fucking brother - his brother who had damn near gotten you killed - and not Joel, who was actually here. 

Joel stared down the hall at Tommy’s - your - door. His wound ached. You’d checked it earlier, said there was no sign of infection and that things were coming along well. You refreshed his bandages and he’d try not to think about the way the soft skin of your arm felt when you brushed against his exposed flesh. 

That had been hours ago. He hadn’t heard a word from you since, not even the squeak of the mattress as you shifted and moved in ways he knew so well but couldn’t see. 

He shoved himself to his feet with a pained grunt and went to the door, the one that seemed to fucking haunt him now. He knocked once. 

“Yeah?” 

Your voice sounded thick. 

“Want a drink?” He asked. You were quiet. He pressed on. “Figured it was better than drinkin’ alone.” 

He gave you a minute and was about to give up on you responding when he heard small creaks on the other side of the door before it opened. 

“Whatcha got?” 

It took a few whiskeys before you stopped being quite so stiff at his kitchen table and Joel pulled out a deck of cards that had to have been old before the world fell apart but had somehow managed to stay complete. 

“Game’s Gin,” he said, dealing. “Remember how to play?” 

You rolled your eyes. 

“I’m not a total idiot, Miller.”

It was strange, drinking around you. Spending time with you in ways that weren’t required, being able to look at you in ways beyond brief, desperate glances driven by the subconscious need to never, ever forget just how you looked. The precise way your eyes were shaped or your brow arched or lips curved, the exact shade of your skin and your hair and your eyes. Because as much as he didn’t want to need these things, he did. He needed to know these parts of you the way a scholar needed to know his subject, with this obsessive, aching drive for more. 

It had never been enough before, the little pieces he was able to collect when you and Tess were distracted with other things and he could take in the new way your skin creased around your eyes, and it somehow wasn’t enough now, memorizing the way you pursed your lips as you organized your hand and the way your hair had fallen out of the braid that was tight against your skull. 

“Need somethin’ to change into?” Joel asked eventually. 

“Hm?” You looked at him over your cards. 

“Just…” he nodded to you. “Still wearin’ what you were when we came back from the run. Need somethin’ to change into?” 

“Oh,” you looked down at yourself and then shrugged. “I mean, I won’t argue with it but I don’t want to put you out. It’s not like anyone’s getting close enough to smell me. Oh God, please tell me you can’t smell me from across the table…” 

“No, Kid,” he laughed a little and took a sip of whiskey. “Can’t… can’t smell you.” 

He wondered if, below the grime of the world outside, you still smelled like lavender. 

“If you’ve got some stuff I can borrow then,” you shrugged before grabbing a card. Your face lit up a bit and you set a card down before fanning out your cards in front of you. “Gin.” 

“Well shit,” he said, looking over your cards. “You win.” 

Day 3 

He left you something to wear outside your door. 

Joel stared at the wall most of the night, telling himself it was because the fucking bullet hole was hurting more than it had been but that was bullshit. It had faded to a dull pain, one that was easily tolerable and certainly not enough to keep him up at night. 

No, instead he stared at the wall that he knew you were just beyond. His mind went over and over your face again and again, logging every single facet so he’d know the next time he was away from you for a while. But that wasn’t enough, either. He wanted to hear you breathing as you slept, wanted to salt away that information, too. He needed it, needed to add it to his collection of you. 

But you were out of reach. Asleep in his brother’s bed, the place where you’d chosen to be all those years ago and now left Joel wondering if you’d ever really left. If you’d ever have chosen Joel at all or if he’d just been a stop gap, a thing keeping you from Tommy all this time. 

It would have made sense, when he considered it. You were always softer and more open than Joel, always more like Tommy in that way. Maybe all he’d ever been was a placeholder. 

He was still awake when he heard you get up in the morning, heard you pause at the door before going to the bathroom and starting the shower. 

He hoped he’d find your hair in his shower later. 

Your hair was down and wet when you emerged, cautiously coming into the kitchen where Joel was making the shittiest excuse for coffee with instant packets that had expired so long ago it seemed like a miracle there was anything usable at all. You were in one of his flannels and sweatpants, the legs cuffed so you wouldn’t trip, your arms crossed tight over yourself. 

“Morning,” you said, glancing at him like he was a predator and you were prey. 

“Morning,” he said. “Feelin’ better?” 

“Yes, actually,” you said. He held a mug out to you and you took it with a slight frown. “Thank you.” 

He just nodded stiffly. 

“If you want to lie down,” you nodded toward the couch. “I can check your dressings again. The good news is, this might be the last time I really need to do it so…” 

Joel shrugged and obeyed, trying not to think about the sense of panic that flared in his chest at the thought of you not touching him anymore. 

It was something Joel had found almost impossible to hold within himself. There was this constant yearning, a pull towards you that was as persistent as gravity and twice as strong. He needed to be close enough to touch you, hold you, protect you. He needed to be close enough to love you. 

But standing in sharp contrast was the cold threat of you. The painful grip of it always there at the edges when he lived too long in the memory of loving you. It was a cruel and constant thing - one of the few constants Joel had found in his life in the QZ. He could let his mind wander to the memory of you asleep in his arms but, linger there too long, and the memory shifted to you pale and bleeding and nearly dead as he ran with your broken body to the clinic. The thought of you laughing all full and free with your hand on his chest would twist into you reaching for him and screaming as you were dragged away by raiders. Hell, spend too long trying to savor the memory of being deep inside you, the look on your face as you came undone under his touch, and his mind pulled him down into what McCarthy had described doing to you years ago. 

All it took was a second, a moment of Joel not protecting you when he should and you could wind up there again. He didn’t know how to live with that. He wasn’t sure he’d ever figured out how to live with loving you at a distance, either. Something that had become harsh and clear in the days the two of you had been locked down in his apartment. 

“This is looking good,” you said, nodding to yourself. Your hands were on his stomach.  “Think I can trust you not to fuck it up from here, don’t need me messing around with it anymore…” 

You got up and held your hand out, helping Joel sit up without pulling too much at his wound. 

“Thanks,” he said. “For making sure I don’t drop dead.” 

“Yeah, well,” you shrugged. “It’s what I do.” 

You gave him a tight smile and went back down the hall, Joel frowning after you for a moment before following. He knocked on the door and he heard you sigh before opening it a few seconds later. 

“Yes?” 

“Don’t…” Joel realized he didn’t really have a good reason to be standing at your door. “Don’t have to keep hidin’ in here. Sure you’re going stir crazy… Just come out here and…” 

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” You asked, brows raised. “We’ve managed to not kill each other so far, I don’t know that we want to push it.” 

“You really think being in the same room is gonna be pushing it?” 

You laughed a little and crossed your arms protectively over yourself. 

“Honestly? Yeah, kind of. I mean, Joel, come on. This is the most time we’ve spent together just the two of us since my first trip outside the QZ and we both know how that ended…” 

“Yeah,” Joel scoffed, his blood getting hot as he saw you standing there, in his brother’s room, next to his brother’s bed. “Ended with you hating me and jumping into bed with my fuckin’ brother…” 

“Jesus Christ, you cannot be serious,” you pinched the bridge of your nose. “Joel…” 

“What?” He propped an arm against the door frame, holding himself back from stalking into Tommy’s old room like he wanted to. “That not what fuckin’ happened? You all but disappear for months and the next thing I know you’re with him. What was it, hm? Was I just who you settled for because you thought he wasn’t interested? That it?” 

“No!” 

“You just waitin’ for a chance to…” 

“I was only with him because you left!” 

You yelled it at him. You so rarely yelled, usually so measured and soft and kind in damn near everything you did. He went quiet, the silence hanging heavy between you. 

“Do you think I was interested in him before?” You asked, quieter this time. “It was always you, Joel. From the day I met you, it was always you and you’re the one who left me. You’re the one who made me live without you after you made me love you and you don’t get to judge me for what I did to survive you hating me. Yeah, I probably fucked up with Tommy, by having him be anything more than a friend but I was so alone because you made me be so alone! You left me, Joel! I’m sorry I didn���t sit there and wait for you to decide you gave a shit again, I’m sorry I tried to find some semblance of a life without you because losing you was going fucking kill me if I didn’t! So stop holding Tommy against me, stop blaming me for what I had to do to survive losing you, what I’m still doing to survive losing you, because out of all the shitty things that have happened in my life that might just be the worst one!” 

Your eyes were shiny with tears and you were standing closer to him than he’d really realized until that moment and his hands were on your skin before he fully understood what he was doing. All he knew was he needed to touch you, feel you, taste you. 

His lips were on yours and swallowed the small, surprised squeak that slipped from you as he kissed you, mouth hot and needy against you. 

He’d expected you to push him back, to be mad or hurt. Instead, you threw your arms around his neck, body curving and arching into his. Your fingers tangled and knotted in his hair and you pressed yourself so tightly against him that he could feel every line of you through his clothes. 

“Joel,” you pulled away from him ever so slightly, sounding needy and breathless. “We shouldn’t do this…” 

“Why.” 

“We don’t work,” you tugged him closer but kept your lips from him. “We just hurt each other. And you have Tess, I have Derek, it’s not…” 

“Tell me you don’t want this,” he cut you off, his eyes searching yours. “Tell me to stop and I’ll stop.” 

For half a moment, Joel thought you were going to. But you didn’t. Instead, you kissed him again, a sense of urgency on your lips, like you were trying to devour him and he longed for you to swallow him up until there was nothing left. 

He pulled you into the hall, pressing you back against the wall and ignoring the pain at his hip when he did. In that moment, he didn’t care if it killed him. He needed to be inside you, to feel you close and tight around him. Being without you now would be a more painful end than ripping himself open inside, what difference did a bullet hole make? 

Joel pushed his leg from his uninjured side between your knees, shoving them apart and pulling your hips down on his thigh. You ground down against him and moaned into his mouth as you worked your core on his leg. 

“Fuck,” you breathed, pulling ever so slightly away from him, your pupils blown and lips swollen. “Joel, you’re hurt, we shouldn’t…” 

“Don’t care,” he pressed his mouth to your throat, earning him a delicious moan that hung in his ears like syrup on the tongue. “Need you, Baby. Need you so fuckin’ bad…” 

You clutched yourself closer to him, rocking your hips on him as he pulled you back from the wall and maneuvered you to his room, his bed, the place he woke up every day and looked for you, some part of his subconscious knowing that he belonged next to you. 

Your fingers pulled at his shirt, tugging it up and over his head before casting it aside and he nudged you onto the bed, taking his shirt off your body, too. 

“Joel…” you were sitting back on your elbows, the soft fullness of your chest bared to him as he crawled between your legs. “I can’t… I can’t do this and go back to being nothing to you, Joel, I can’t…” 

He looked in your eyes, a pain in them that he found sadly familiar now but it was harsher than he was used to, like you couldn’t keep it contained now so it was laid bare. 

“Oh, Baby,” he breathed, his hands finding your waist. You closed your eyes at his touch, breath catching in your throat. “You’re everything to me, everything. Always have been.” 

His lips moved to your throat, kissing and biting at the tender skin there as he pulled your pants down and off, you lifting your hips to help before putting your hand down his front to take hold of his cock with a moan. Joel moaned, too. He couldn’t help it, your touch was burned into his memory, what he longed for more than anything else and you were touching him. Your thumb grazed the head of his cock and he shuddered at the contact, whole body on fire with aching and desperate want. 

“Need you,” he panted into your lips. “Fuck, need inside you…” 

“Good,” you pressed your body against his and he felt his head graze your soft mound. “Because I need you, too. Never stopped…” 

He kissed you and pushed you into the bed before pressing his cock into your wet heat. You moaned as you took him into yourself, your back arching. You were so warm and tight around him, Joel had to focus to not come from just the feel of your body clutching onto him. 

“Goddamn,” he looked down to where he was buried in you to the root, your fingers sinking into his bicep as you panted for breath. He could feel you breathing, feel your heartbeat from inside you. Why had he wasted so much of his life fighting this when he could have been with you instead? In that moment - when he was buried deep inside of you and he could feel you everywhere, in everything - the fear he’d been so desperately fighting against faded to nothing. There was just you and everything you held, the whole of all his wanting looking up at him in quiet desperation. “Forgot… forgot just how good you feel, holy fuck.” 

“Need you to move,” your nails dug into his arm. “Fuck, please Joel, need you to move, please…” 

He wasn’t about to say no, even as your already tight walls clenched around him. He dropped his head to your chest and pulled out of you almost entirely, until just his head was left within you, before thrusting back in hard and deep. He kissed you again as he did, swallowing your needy sounds. 

Joel tried to hold back, the echo of some pain in his body and his mind, but he was too overwhelmed by you for it to last long. You met his every thrust, working your hips back up against his own as he fucked into you. 

“Fuck, Joel,” you wrapped one arm around his shoulders, digging your fingertips into his skin as he felt you getting so tight around him it almost hurt. “Fuck, I’m gonna… Joel, I’m gonna come, I can’t…” 

“Do it,” he slid an arm below your waist and pulled you tight and flush to his body, needing to feel as much of your skin as he possibly could. “Come for me, come for me, Baby, need to feel you, have to feel you, fuck Baby…” 

You whimpered and keened as your tight channel pulsed around his thick cock, squeezing him so tight it was like your body was pulling his own orgasm out of him. 

“I’m comin’ Baby,” he pressed into you deep and hard and you clung to him as he came undone, emptying himself into you. “I’m comin’, fuck, I’m comin’ so fucking hard, Goddamn…” 

He collapsed on top of you, his cock still twitching inside you. He couldn’t remember the last time he came that hard, felt quite that drained when he was done. His head rested on your chest, your heartbeat heavy against his cheek as your fingers trailed through his hair and his cock softened inside you. 

“Fuck,” he was still panting for breath when he pressed a kiss to your breast bone and slid from your body, the pain at his hip suddenly back with a vengeance, as he collapsed beside you. 

“We shouldn’t have done that,” you said quietly, turning your head to look at him. 

“Baby…” 

“We shouldn’t,” you said, your voice thick. “You’re hurt…” 

“Good think you’re a doctor.” 

You glared at him. 

“We just blew up our entire lives, Joel,” you said quietly, eyes wet. “I’m with Derek and I just fucked you because, what, you loved me once and felt bad letting me get shot in the QZ? This was stupid, this was so…” 

“No,” he shook his head. 

“No?” You raised your eyebrows at him. “No what?” 

“No to all of it,” he said. “I didn’t blow up a damn thing. I just finally was able to admit to myself that there isn’t anything to blow up without you, don’t want any of it without you.” 

“Joel…” 

“Been too scared of it all to admit that,” he pressed on. “But I can’t keep living like that, Baby. I can’t. And I don’t think you can, either.

“We’ve already wasted too much damn time,” he continued. “But I’m not wasting another minute of it, not when I could be with you. Not sayin’ there’s not shit to figure out - pretty sure we got a decade’s worth of it - but don’t ask me to waste more time. Please. Not when it comes to you.” 

Your eyes held his as you reached a hand forward and carefully, delicately, cupped his cheek, your thumb tracing his cheekbone. He brushed his lips against the inside of your wrist, feeling the flutter of your pulse against his mouth. 

“Think we can figure it out?” You asked. You sounded so uncertain, so afraid. 

Joel’s large hand covered your own, holding you against his chin. 

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “With you, think we can figure anything out.” 

[harrygoeswest]

Harry Styles is your sworn enemy. You've decided to take a holiday in the Scottish Highlands, and so has he. And there's only one bed…

~~~

A/N: Hiiiiii! I think I announced this like 3 months ago and never finished it, but we're finally here! I actually really fucking love this story. I've never done this 'one bed' trope before, nor an enemies-to-lovers OU, because EVERYONE loves H man, right? Well, not this YN. And he's not too fond of her either. I'm really excited to share it with you. Again, what started as a one shot grew into a two-parter because I simply cannot contain myself when the ball starts rolling. Anyhoo, to my forever friend @all-things-fic, thank you as always for reading this through and making me snort at your comments and being the ultimate validator <3

Word Count: 13,261 Trigger Warnings: Swearing (obvs), vomiting, bed-sharing with a sexy man

~~~

Rain. Persistent, unabated, never-ending, relentless rain. It was all you’d heard and seen all day and you were sick of it. You’d never really minded it until today, but thanks to one shit-show after another, you were ready to relinquish it. You wanted it gone. Your summer holiday was already off to a bad start.

“Bad day?”

Where to begin?

A cabin in the Scottish Highlands had sounded like the perfect escape for a four-week break away from the city. You had work to do, deadlines to meet, but at least you could do it without being interrupted. Without the sounds of pedestrians and car horns and wayward seagulls and bike bells. Yep, the Highlands still sounded perfect, but the endless string of catastrophes made you wonder if it really was perfect or rather just a ridiculous indulgence.

No. You deserved this break. Bad day or not, the holiday was needed.

When your brother had told you a year ago that he’d bought a holiday home in the Highlands you hadn’t exactly been surprised. He and his wife had been talking about it for years, and he’d finally earned enough money through his music career to be able to do it. Sadly, with your own deadlines and packed schedule, this was the first time in said year you’d been able to find time to go.

Apparently the all-knowing entity in your life had other plans.

You were supposed to come by plane first thing this morning, but your car had broken down on the way to the airport and you spent 3 hours waiting for the AA to rescue you. You had then managed to rearrange your flight to a later one, but because of the weather, all other flights out of Bristol had been cancelled for the day. You then spent a ridiculous amount of money on a 10 hour train from Bristol to Inverness with a change at Edinburgh in between, and were now forking out on a taxi to take you the rest of the way.

At that particular point in time, a cabin in the middle of nowhere seemed like a dreadful fucking idea.

“Could say that.” You managed weakly.

The driver chuckled to himself and you tried not to squeal. “Nearly there now. Fifteen minutes or so.”

There is a God!

Forty-five minutes later he finally stopped in the middle of a single track road. Your eyelid had been twitching for half that time, and a headache was forming in your left temple.

He turned over his shoulder and flashed a grin. He was missing an incisor and three of his other teeth were gold. “This is as far as I can get you. Cabin is at the top of that hill.”

You gave him a look, then peered out the window. All you could see was rain and mud and a black night. “What hill?”

“You’ll find it. Fare is sixty.”

“Sixty quid?”

He nodded. “Scottish if you’ve got ‘em. I’m a collector.”

“We agreed on forty. And no, I don’t have any bloody Scottish notes.” A Scottish man collecting Scottish money! On what planet?!

“No, sixty.”

You muttered expletives under your breath and shoved the money at him over his shoulder.

“Y’alright gettin’ your own case, love? Don’t really want t’ get wet.”

“Un-fucking-believable.”

In the shittiest, snappiest manner you could muster, you got out of the car and retrieved your luggage from the boot, slamming every door you touched. The driver immediately pulled off once the boot was closed, pipping his horn.

“Wanker!” You yelled after him.

Finding your bearings, you located the ‘hill’ he’d been talking about, forcing down your frustration at the size of the damn thing as you started up the pathway. You dragged your suitcase behind you through the mud, grateful it had a hard and waterproof plastic exterior. At least after all this you’d be able to take a shower and change into clean clothes.

It took you an embarrassing amount of time to reach the cabin, thanks to not only the rain but also the brutal wind. When you finally reached the porch you fell onto it, greeted by the most intense relief you’d ever felt. You took a minute to recover from your exercise, and then fumbled around on the dark porch for the stone your brother had left the key under.

“Aha.” Delighted when you found it, you pulled the key out of the rock and shoved it in the door, unlocking it.

Heat floated over your body, as did warm, homey light. Weird. Why were the lights on?

Then did your eyes land on the thing that was most definitely out of place. 

A loud, shrill scream ripped from your body.

A man was in the cabin. A naked man. Mostly. The only thing saving him and you was the towel wrapped around his waist. Shiny back, muscly arms, damp neck, wet hair. At the sound of your wail he turned around, equally as alarmed.

“What the-?”

In his panic, the grip he had on his towel slipped, and you were given more of an eyeful than you ever bargained for. 

You screamed again and reached for the closest thing to you, then lurched it across the room at him. Then your brain caught up with you, and you pulled the door closed again, separating you from him. You were back outside in the cold.

That man wasn’t just anyone. He’d never been just anyone. He was your sister-in-law’s friend. He was your brother’s boss, to a degree. He was your worst fucking nightmare rolled into physical human form.

He was Harry fucking Styles.

This was officially the worst day of your life.

“No, no, no, no, no.” You repeated, over and over again as you paced the porch, head in your hands. You knocked into your suitcase multiple times and it ended up falling down the porch steps into a muddy puddle. You tripped over a loose piece of decking at least twice. You caught your hip on the porch bannister, too. But none of it registered with you while your brain cycled between images of Harry’s naked back and his large appendage.

How could this be happening? What had you done to deserve such a catastrophic start to your holiday? You couldn’t stay here. Not with that man. That man that you hated, and who hated you in return. This was a disaster.

You dug your phone out of your sopping handbag. No signal. 

“Oh, come on.” You hissed.

Stubborn as always, you tried to call your brother anyway. Repeatedly. Twenty times, at least, each one failing to connect. You couldn’t even leave a voicemail. You raised the phone to the sky like it was baby Simba. Still nothing.

“Fuck!”

The door swung open, and Harry said your name in a low grunt.

You swivelled, glare like a dagger. “You. Why the fuck are you here?”

“Why am I here?” He scoffed. He was clothed now, in a t-shirt and jogging bottoms. “Why are you here?”

“This is my brother’s cabin! I have a key! He said I could stay here!”

“Well, guess what?” He leaned forward, arms crossed. “Holly said I could stay here, too.”

You wanted to throw your phone at his stupid face. “Fucking great.”

“There’s obviously been some misunderstanding.” He straightened.

“You don’t say…” 

His gaze narrowed. “You’re impossible.”

“At least I’m not the one who’s stupid enough to state the obvious.”

You turned away again and tried your brother one more time. The beep beep beep that told you the call had failed yet again had your stomach in knots.

“There’s no phone signal here.”

“Yes, thank you. Just go back inside.”

“No.”

“For the love of Christ, why not?”

“I’d rather see what you’re going to do with yourself.”

You turned another glare on him. “Oh, I’m so glad that the shitty situation I’ve found myself in is entertaining you, Harry. Please, mock me some more. The resulting anger might actually take the chill out of my fucking toes.”

He looked like he was about to open his mouth, but you didn’t let him.

“You know, this really has been the day from hell. It’s been a categorical disaster from start to finish, and finally getting myself here only to find you, of all people, really is the cherry on top of my whopping slice of shit pie. So please, do me this one favour, and sod off back inside.”

His jaw ticked, and he emitted a low growl before he slammed the door of the cabin and left you in the cold, wet night.

A sob wracked through you, and you flopped down on the top step just to let your body deflate for five minutes. It was so cold you were shivering. Your clothes clung to your body like sheets of ice, your lips were cracked, and a bite ate away at your toes.

You knew you couldn’t do much tonight. You’d have to wait until tomorrow, for when the storm hopefully passed, and you could call your brother to give him a gobful and then walk into the village to find a B&B or cheap hotel. You hadn’t forgotten that your train ticket was a set day return for four weeks’ time. You’d just have to wait until Harry was gone before you took your time to enjoy the cabin like you’d planned.

When you finally calmed down you dragged your suitcase out of the mud and dropped it on the driest part of the deck. You dug around for the jumper you’d brought with you and pulled it over your frozen torso. You also took your shoes and socks off and put two clean pairs on. Once you were wrapped back up in your coat, you settled on the armchair that was the least wet and tried to go to sleep.

After five minutes or so, the cabin door creaked open again.

“Come inside, please.” Harry’s voice was void of any emotion.

“No.”

“You’ll get sick if you stay out here.”

“Rather that than share a bed with you.”

“And you think I want to share a bed with you, either?”

“Then we’re both on the same page. I’m fine out here.”

“You are not fuckin’ fine out here. It’s shitting it down, for fuck’s sake, you could get a flu. Or worse.”

You hadn’t opened your eyes so you had no idea what his facial expression read. “I’m surprised you give a shit enough to care.”

“I don’t particularly, but I like your brother and I don’t want him thinking I didn’t at least try to get you to be sensible when it’s fucking biblical outside.”

“I’ll pass.”

Harry took a deep breath, and he muttered, “Bloody insufferable woman,” before he slammed the door again.

You snuggled further into the chair, shoving your hands under your face. You thought that would be the end of it, but no more than thirty seconds later the door swung back open. You pretended to ignore him, expecting a verbal taunt. Instead, all you got was scuffing noises.

Pushing down the urge to growl like he did at you, you squeezed your eyes shut and faked indifference at his huffy grunting. Until he dragged you out of the chair and hauled you into the cabin in three easy movements.

“What are you doing?” You demanded, scowling at him as he locked the door behind you.

“You can be as stubborn and petty as you like about this, but you are not staying outside in the rain. End of story.”

“I was fine!”

“You were not fine.” He folded his arms again. “Look at you, for fuck’s sake. You’re about five seconds away from catching hypothermia. You think I want that on my hands? You, of all people, needing my attention every day for the next five weeks? I don’t, by the way. I came here for a holiday, too.”

“I didn’t bring myself here to be a God damn burden to you, Harry. Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Why don’t you go and get in the shower, and maybe you’ll calm the fuck down.”

You inched closer to him. “Oh, I’m sure you’d love that. Me, following your orders like some sycophant.”

He took a step closer to me. “I would, actually. It might make you somewhat tolerable.”

“Get fucked, Harry.”

“Sounds like you need that more than I do.”

You produced a noise somewhere between a grunt and a squeal, and shoved at his chest once before you stalked away. “Prick.”

He hummed, entertained. “Try not to think about mine while you’re in there. I’m sure the sight of it has left you with enough to be desired.”

Too tired to argue with him anymore, you threw your middle finger at him over your shoulder.

Whether you’d been forced inside against your will or not, you really did want a shower before a permanent chill settled over you. You turned the water on and let it run hot. The second it swilled over your body you let out a helpless moan. 

You stood stoic underneath it for an indeterminate amount of time, just willing your body to warm up. The day washed away from you, worries temporarily forgotten while you soaked up as much heat as you could. Oh, it was glorious. A shower had never been so rewarding.

After a while you realised you didn’t have any of your shower stuff with you, still locked in your suitcase, and you let out a huff. You surveyed what Harry had brought with him and spent too long debating whether it was socially acceptable to wash using your mortal enemy’s shower gel. You decided against it and would properly wash in the morning.

Taking another ten minutes, you decided you were ready to face Harry again and whatever bollocks he might throw your way. You found a towel and gave your hair a dry, then wrapped it around your body. You hadn’t thought this through in your desperation to get away from him.

You stepped out of the room with purpose and marched over to where Harry had abandoned your suitcase after dragging it inside earlier, and carefully picked your way through it to find your pyjamas and toothbrush. Without giving the man even the slightest glance, you locked yourself back up in the bathroom to change and clean your teeth.

“Forget your clothes?” Harry asked at your second reappearance.

“Why ask a question you already know the answer to?” You gave a roll of your eyes.

He sat straighter in the armchair he was settled into, “Why answer a question with another question?”

You ignored him. Instead you gave yourself the opportunity to actually take in your brother’s second home. You realised it was tiny. Like Tiny Home tiny. When he said he’d bought a cabin you thought he meant something like a chalet. But no, this was small. A kitchenette had been built into the right-hand wall by the front door with a fridge, a two-plate hob and a stainless steel sink. Two armchairs sat either side of a small birch table, and a double bed at the back of the room with a cherrywood wardrobe. A woven rug gave the space a homey feel, balancing the bare oak that gave foundation for the rest of the place.

A sinking feeling buried in you when you realised there wasn’t a sofa.

You rubbed a hand into your cheek, feeling slightly cheated by your brother and his wife. 

“You look like you’re about to pass out.” Harry said into the quiet, all malice and jest lost.

“I feel like it.” You admitted, turning your stare on the bed. “I’m just tired.”

He cleared his throat and stood. “I sleep on the left.”

You refrained from giving him another eye roll and instead focussed on settling down. You left your phone on the dining table, plugged in to charge overnight, poured a glass of water which you drank in one long swig, and then returned to the bed.

“What are you doing?”

Harry had settled on the left side of the bed but with his head at the foot and his feet at the top. If he slept on the left, did that not completely defeat the purpose of his claim?

“Top and tail.”

“Yeah, no. Absolutely not.” You shook your head.

“Why not?”

“I am not giving you the opportunity to stick your foot in my face at any given point in the night.”

He kissed his teeth and sat up with a scowl. “Woman, you have got some major fuckin’ trust issues.”

“With you I do, absolutely.”

You waited until he was in bed the right way up before you slipped in yourself and turned the light off. The room was cast in darkness and your eyes struggled to adjust. You faced away from Harry on your side, wriggling to find a comfortable position, and you could hear him doing the same.

His foot was definitely on your side of the bed so you kicked it away. He then tried to take the covers off you, but you were quick to snatch them back. He let out a deep sigh.

“Can I have some of the quilt, please?”

“You’ve got some.”

“I have none.”

“Bullshit.”

He ripped the covers away again, and you fought the urge to squeal.

“Give some back.”

“You have some.” He said in the same tone you had.

“Harry.”

“What?”

“I’m cold.”

“You’ve just spent an hour using up all the hot water so I refuse to believe that.”

“What is your problem?”

“You are.”

You grit your teeth. Folding your arms, you scooted as close to the edge of the bed as possible without falling off. Arguing with him was fruitless, it just left you angry and wired.

Tomorrow, you resolved to find somewhere, anywhere else to stay. For now, you’d try to sleep uncomfortable and coverless.

~

Had you slept?

No.

For hours you’d imprisoned yourself on the edge of the bed, cold and coverless, hugging yourself in an attempt to keep warm, and squeezing your eyes closed just praying that sleep would come. But it never did. You’d think after the day you had yesterday it would be easy to just drop off. Why would it be that simple for you?

You knew it was light outside now thanks to the inside of your eyelids. You decided then to give up. Sleep wasn’t coming.

As you opened your eyes you realised how close to the edge of the bed you were. At the same time, Harry wriggled again, further onto your side of the mattress, and his knee nudged your backside.

Oh no.

Struggling to find anything to hold onto, your body tumbled over the edge. A panicked yelp tore out of you, followed by a grunt and a thud when you hit the floor.

“Ow.” You whimpered. You’d fallen on your front, knee and toe first followed by your head. You rolled onto your back and held onto your forehead as if it might stop the pounding you felt.

Laughter started, and your eyes flew open to find Harry hovering over the side of the bed, green eyes shining. You were, actually, somewhat offended by how entertained he was. If it was acceptable to hit people, you’d be hitting him.

“You alright down there?”

“No I’m not fucking alright, Harry.”

Your own anger made the throbbing in your head worse so you stayed on your back.

“Alright, was only a question.”

“This is your bloody fault - you’re a bed hogger!”

“Yeah? Well you snore!”

“Considering I didn’t get a single second of sleep last night I don’t know how you’ve landed on that conclusion, and I can only assume you’ve made it up to piss me off.”

“You were snoring.” He said in a flat voice.

“No I wasn’t.”

The throbbing got worse again, so you squeezed your eyes shut and took a deep breath. Then another.

“You’ve hit your head.”

If the thought of rolling your eyes didn’t make you nauseous you’d absolutely do it. “If there was an award for Best Observationist, you’d win it.”

“Do you need ice or something?”

His voice had changed and it somewhat startled you. You peeled an eye open again to find he hadn’t moved - he was still hanging over the bed. His expression, however, was neutral.

“Yes. Please.”

He gave a curt nod and then disappeared. You closed your eyes again, willing the throbbing away.

“There isn’t any ice.”

You refrained from screaming, knowing it wouldn’t do you any good. “Okay.”

“Here,” his voice was much closer, and he gave a little pat to your knee, “this might help.”

Peeling an eye open, he flashed a couple of boxes of painkillers. “Panadol.” Of course the man had branded paracetamol. The 95p boxes of Sainsbury’s own shoved in your kitchen cupboard looked shameful right about now.

“Extra strength. And that rapid relief ibuprofen.”

“You brought painkillers with you on holiday?”

He shrugged. “I’m here for a long time. Hangovers need encouragement to get fucked.”

You raised a sceptic brow. “And here I thought some magical mystery Nutri-Bullet recipe would be your saviour.”

“Funny.” He muttered.

Huh. How unlike him not to shove a witty rebuttal at you.

“Do you need help getting up or are you just gonna sit on the floor all day?”

Your scowl returned. “I’m fine.”

On shaky legs and with a fuzzy head, you grabbed the side of the bed and hauled yourself up. You weren’t sure if the sudden ringing in your ears was something you should be worried about, but you persisted.

Once sat, Harry handed you the tablet boxes and fetched a glass of water for you while you thumbed out two of each.

“Thank you.” You mumbled.

“Please and thank you in the space of ten minutes?” He goaded. “Sounds like you’ve got a concussion.”

“My parents didn’t raise me in a barn.”

He stood with his broad arms folded across his chest while he watched you swallow down four tablets, face a mishmash of irritation and something else. You refused to believe it was concern so you attributed it to frustration. You were just ruining his holiday the same way he was ruining yours.

You decided to finish the water, and then Harry took the boxes and the glass from you. You laid back down, shielding the room and your eyes with your arms.

“Sure you don’t need a hospital?” His voice was far away.

“Yes. I just need to close my eyes for a bit. I’ll be fine.”

He didn’t answer, and you were thankful. Any more talking and your head might have exploded.

~

You’d fallen asleep. While you hadn’t intended to, you couldn’t help but be grateful for the respite. There was no way you would’ve been able to do anything on zero hours sleep, so a few was better than nothing.

You sat up, noticing that you’d corrected yourself direction-wise on the bed and pulled the covers over you. You must’ve done it subconsciously.

The cabin was quiet. Almost eerily so. There was no sign of Harry anywhere. The only sign that he’d been there at all was his own suitcase tucked away in the corner. No sound came from the bathroom, and all you could hear outside was birds.

Birds. Not rain.

You scrambled out of bed towards the front door and hauled it open, but it was locked. Harry had locked you in. You found the key your brother had left for you on the table and put it to use.

It was glorious outside. Not a cloud in the sky, blue everywhere, green even more so. And it was warm. Summer dress warm. Your feet itched to go outside, but you knew you needed to take it easy. The headache hadn’t completely subsided, but it was tolerable. Barely there. A shower and some food would fix it.

You closed the door and locked it again, determined to start your day. Steadily.

You were about to head straight for the shower when you noticed it. A brown paper bag trapped under a pretty mug, and a jar of instant coffee wedged inside it. The mug lived here - you recognised it from Holly’s old flat. But the greasy brown bag did not. You noticed the letters GF scrawled on the front.

He remembered.

Warning bells started screaming inside your head as you plucked the bag out and opened it up. The smell of cooled buttery pastry wafted from inside, and you pulled out the biggest croissant you’d ever seen.

The message was clear as day. Eat and get some caffeine in you.

This was bad. Angry Harry you could deal with any day of the week at any time of day. You could even cope with jester Harry, because you gave just as good as you got. But this? Base-level concern? It threw you for a loop.

Regardless, you were starving. So you boiled the kettle and made your coffee just how you like it as you tore off pieces of pastry and gobbled it down. While you waited for your coffee to cool once your croissant was demolished, you took a quick shower.

Half an hour later you were out the door and feeling a hell of a lot better than you had done for weeks. You wandered down into the village, the sun a glowing comfort on your bare skin.

You had a mission today: alternative accommodation.

You kept an eye on your phone for patches of signal, and called your brother whenever you found some. He never answered. Part of you wondered if he was ignoring you, and if that was the case you were going to have a very big problem. He only ignored you if he was avoiding you.

And that wasn’t even your biggest problem.

“I’m sorry, we’re full.” The receptionist at the final B&B said with barely an ounce of emotion.

“The sign outside said you had vacancies.”

“I just sold the last one over the phone. Haven’t had time to change it.” She gave me a smile that didn’t touch her eyes.

You fought a petulant sigh. “Do you know where else I can stay? I’ve tried every B&B here and no one has any vacancies.”

“Why don’t you try an AirBnB.” She suggested with a tone dripping in sarcasm. “You young people seem to love those.”

Ah, so this was a territorial issue. You gave her a flat glare and left without another word.

Yet again, you found yourself in a rut. Your good mood had been successfully wiped away. Maybe you would check AirBnB, but the thought of spending another obscene amount on accommodation filled you with a sickly feeling.

Your phone started ringing, much to your surprise. Holly. “Is my brother ignoring me?”

“I don’t know, but if he was, he probably wouldn’t tell me.” She laughed, always a fan of your no-nonsense approach. “I thought I’d call since I haven’t heard from you. Did you make it there alive?”

“Alive is not the word I’d use to describe my current state. It’s also impossible to call someone when the phone signal is worse than a World War II air raid shelter.”

Holly cackled. “You’re such a nerd. What’s wrong?”

“Either you’re playing dumb to avoid my wrath or you’re very stupid.”

She gasped your name but she was most definitely entertained. “What do you mean?”

“Harry is here. Using your holiday home.”

An extended period of silence followed, completed with a breathy, “Oh… shit.”

Oh shit, indeed.

“Well,” she seemed to shake herself, “it can’t be that bad.”

This one was truly off her rocker. “Can’t be that bad? Holly, how many times have you been in a room with me and Harry at the same time?”

“Plenty.”

“Exactly. How many times have we had a fight whilst in said same room together?”

“Almost always.”

“Not almost always, just always. We. Do. Not. Get. On.”

“Oh, babe, I think you’re being a bit dramatic.”

“There’s only one fucking bed!”

Holly went quiet for a minute, and you realised you’d earned the attention of a few passers by. You sat down on a nearby bench, wary of the throb in your head getting worse.

“Are you okay?” She finally asked.

That set you off. You launched into your shitty day from yesterday, from the car breakdown to the taxi driver to hitting your head this morning. Words without breath had never left you so fast and the feeling you were rewarded with after was less than satisfactory. Deflation. Sadness.

“Oh, hun, I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was going.” You were certain she was lying about that last sentence but you didn’t interrupt her. “I’ll get in touch with Harry and tell him to rein it in.”

“I don’t need you to curb the man on my behalf, Hol. I can handle him myself. I just… I really wish he wasn’t here.”

“Do you want me to make him leave?”

A rare sight of guilt crept its way into the centre of your stomach. You battled the urge to say yes, because you knew if Holly asked him to, he would absolutely go. “No… hardly fair. He was here first.”

“Yeah but I bet you would’ve been if all those things didn’t go wrong yesterday.”

You grunted. You were supposed to arrive just before 9am yesterday morning, not close to 11pm. “Don’t make him leave. I’m a bitch but I’m not a complete cunt.”

“You’re not either of those things by any stretch. My friend just happens to know how to really rattle your cage.”

Ain’t that the truth. “I’m trying to find a B&B or something but they’re all full.”

“Oh, please don’t spend more money.”

“I can’t stay in your cabin, Hol. I didn’t sleep last night and that man does not know how to share a queen bed.”

“It’s actually a three-quarter bed.”

“Fuck off.” You groaned.

“Look, we wanted it to be as spacious as possible there. We didn’t anticipate two people who claim to hate each other having to share it. It’s for cuddling.”

That urge to smack someone reared its ugly head. “You’re ridiculous.”

She laughed from the back of her throat, and as irritated as you were it did make you smile. “Take a long walk, babe. If you’re in the village there’s a great ice cream place near the church that’ll make you forget all about He Who Shall Not Be Named.”

You rolled your eyes. “I can say Harry, for fuck’s sake.”

She screamed as if she’d been burned, teasing you.

“Shut up.” You actually managed to laugh. “Fine. I’ll go find some ice cream. But if they’ve got WiFi I will absolutely be looking for an AirBnB.”

She sighed. “Fine.”

“Do me a favour and tell my brother to stop being a wuss.”

“Oh, come on, you know he can’t handle your wrath. You can tell him yourself, anyway.”

You started looking around to see if they’d actually come up and were just loitering nearby to piss you off.

“What?”

“We were going to surprise you but I think you might murder us if we did. We’re on our way to you. My Nanna will be coming, too - we’ve got a table booked at the pub in the village.”

Unbelievable. “You little minx.” 

One of the reasons Holly and your brother bought a holiday home in Scotland was to be able to spend more time with Holly’s family. While she grew up in London and has never left it, her mum’s side of the family are all in Scotland.

Holly giggled, obviously delighted with herself. “Sorry. We’re set to arrive in about two hours.”

“But where are you staying?”

“My Nan’s house.”

“Not got a spare room, has she?” You mumbled.

“I know you don’t mean that, but she doesn’t. We’re staying on her pullout.”

“Damn.”

“We’re gonna go straight there and then come to you afterwards, alright?”

You took a deep breath and stood up from your bench. “Yeah, alright. I’ll see you in a few hours, then.”

“Byeee!”

You were already making a beeline for the ice cream shop by the time she put the phone down.

It was a cute little parlour, like something straight out of a movie. Retro tiles covered the walls and floor in pinks and yellows, two long display freezers to the left full to the brim with every single flavour one could ever imagine. Tables spread across the right and spilled onto the street, and booths in the corner each had a miniature jukebox on top.

“How can I help you?” A man behind the counter asked, dressed in a full uniform complete with the little hat.

“Hi, um,” you gave him the best smile you could, even if you were overwhelmed, “do you have any gluten free cones?”

“Sure,” he gestured to the stand on the top with a variety of cones, from small to ridiculously large in size, “just this one.”

The cone in question was the most pathetic-looking of them all. You did your absolute best to hide your disappointment. “Great, then I’ll have one of those. Chocolate, please.”

“Which type?” He lifted a brow.

You realised then that there were about ten different chocolate flavours. “Er… which is the best one in your opinion?”

That perked him up. He spent the next five minutes listing off reasons why the chocolate and hazelnut flavour was his most popular of all his options.

“I guess that’s the one I want, then.” You forced another smile.

“Coming right up.”

Something made you shiver, but it wasn’t a gust of wind or the freezers you stood by.

“At least try and act like you’re excited about it.” A deep voice murmured, far too close to your ear for your liking.

You practically hissed and took a very purposeful step away. “Jesus, Harry.”

He laughed, but the sound wasn’t spiteful like it usually would be. “Only you could make ice cream seem rubbish.”

“I don’t think ice cream is rubbish,” Was your only retort. You just wished gluten free cones didn’t look so fucking sad.

The owner handed you your cone and you paid him in cash. “Do you have WiFi in here?”

“Sure. Password’s on the wall up there.” He pointed at a laminated sign, and then turned his attention to Harry. “Hey, aren’t you that guy?”

Your cue to leave.

While Harry had an awkward conversation with the parlour owner about which guy he was, you connected to the internet and took a seat on the patio outside with your back to the sun. A satisfied hum left you at the warmth on your skin. You concentrated on demolishing your ice cream before you made a mess of yourself.

Unfortunately, Harry decided today wasn’t the day he was going to leave you alone. He sat down opposite you with a three-flavour cone, the colours unsettlingly unnatural. He looked uncomfortable, and this time it wasn’t because of you.

“What on Earth is that?”

“This is a masterpiece.” At least he could still behave like an idiot even when he’d been ‘spotted’.

“It looks disgusting.”

You watched him with a deep-seated discomfort as he shamelessly licked around his cone. Unfiltered moans came out of his mouth, but you were certain he was acting up for your benefit.

“What flavours are they?” You just had to ask.

“Mint chocolate, bubblegum and ginger.”

“Ginger?” You almost choked on a hazelnut. “Sir, you have a serious problem.”

He laughed again, that same obnoxiously easy sound as before. “Did you just call me sir?”

“I did and I immediately regret it.”

He made a noise, an amused squeak of sorts. “Why did you look so horrified by yours, anyway?”

You shifted in your chair, having just popped the end of the cone in your mouth. You glanced over your shoulder to make sure the owner wasn’t listening, pleased to find him distracted by a large family. “The gluten free options for cones was utter shite.”

“How so?”

“Well, he only had one type, and it was poxy as shit.”

He snorted. “I thought it looked small. I don’t imagine it being a lot of fun.”

You were immediately reminded of the croissant he’d picked up for you. You knew that you needed to say thank you, even if it did feel like taking a punch in the gut. “Thank you for the pastry.”

He paused mid-lick as if you’d just spoken a foreign language. He looked ridiculous and almost child-like, green eyes wide and pupils so narrow thanks to the sun they were barely visible. He rescued a drip before he made a mess. “Welcome. How is your…” he tapped his temple.

“Yeah, better.”

“Good.”

You returned to silence, and you got busy looking for a new place to stay. The options were… lacking. You knew the decision to go away during the school holidays would be a silly one anyway, but you wanted the heat. You wanted a summer holiday. Not a cold and wet one. But at such late notice in an area with limited options to begin with, all that was really left were large houses for groups of ten or places miles and miles away that would cost yet more money to travel to. The only other thing you could think of was buying a tent and pitching up on a nearby campsite, but you fucking hated tents and camping.

As time wore on and Harry’s ice cream disappeared, you noticed him growing more restless. You glanced up a couple of times to find him with his head down, but you eventually figured out the source of his discomfort. He was shooting looks at something over your shoulder while constantly readjusting his ball cap.

You straightened in your seat and twisted yourself slightly to get a better look.

“Don’t turn around.” He muttered without looking at you.

You frowned. “Why?”

He never gave you an answer so you did it anyway. A couple of tables over someone was doing a very bad job at hiding their phone.

For God’s sake. 

“Do you want to swap seats?” You offered.

He gave you a startled look, and admittedly you were surprised at your own suggestion. “No.”

“You sure? The back of your head is way less appealing than the front of it.”

You could see the confusion spread across his face and you wished immediately that you could take your words back. He was too wound up to mention it now, but you knew he definitely would in the future.

“They’ve already got about fifteen minutes worth of pictures, there’s no point moving now.” He huffed and readjusted the hat on his head once more, eyes downcast.

You pursed your lips in thought. After a moment you readjusted your seat so that you were hopefully positioned right in the way. Harry gave you a blank look, eyes still darting to the people behind you.

“Do you want to go?”

“Not particularly.”

You knew what he meant. He shouldn’t have to leave just because other people didn’t know how to behave like normal human beings.

A minute later the table behind you stood and left, so something had at least worked.

“Thank you.” He said it so quietly you nearly missed it. “Your lack of subtlety was almost entertaining.”

You weren’t offended by that. You hadn’t meant to be subtle. “I know we don’t get on but I respect your privacy. You should’ve asked them to delete it.”

“Then it just makes me look like a prick.”

“But you are a prick.”

He broke into another laugh. That laugh that held no malice or spite. The one he’d only debuted today. Then he slid back to stoicism. “I’ll be all over the Daily Mail again tomorrow anyway.”

Something weird happened. Anger materialised in your chest, and it wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling in the slightest. What was unusual was that it came on Harry’s behalf. Usually you felt this way because of Harry, not for him.

You cleared your throat. “It’s okay to tell people to fuck off every once in a while, Harry.”

“Not when you’re me, it isn’t.”

“It is when people don’t know how to set boundaries.”

“Don’t worry about it. Seriously.” He readjusted his cap again and sunk further into his seat. “Not the first time I’ve been spotted on holiday.”

“With a mystery woman, no less.”

He snorted. “Sorry in advance.”

“For what?”

“You’re about to become the most interesting person on the planet. I’d privatise your Instagram.”

“It already is. Nor is it very interesting.”

“Just… I don’t know. I know what they’re like.”

“You think I give a shit what a bunch of people on the internet think about me?”

“I don’t know, maybe.”

“Have I ever given a shit what anyone else has thought about me?”

He tipped his head. “No.”

“Exactly.”

“It’s their boundaries I’m worried about.”

“Don’t be. If those pictures do make it anywhere, I’ll have no problem telling the next person to fuck off if it comes to it.”

The smallest smile tugged at his lips. “Then I really hope for their sake that there isn’t a next time.”

~

You hadn’t left the parlour until you’d come up with a solution to your living arrangement. It took longer than you’d like, but eventually you settled for the only option; in two weeks you’d let Harry have the cabin and move into an AirBnB a few towns over. A bungalow this time with a very big bed. You’d had to fork out a deposit since it was a booking of more than 7 nights, which put another lovely dent in your bank balance. You were really trying not to think about it. 

Harry hadn’t passed comment when you told him. He just gave a blank stare and a curt nod, which was very unlike him. When it came to you, he’d never had any problem parting with his opinions.

You’d been ambushed on your way back to the cabin by your brother and Holly. After changing and freshening up you all walked down to the pub together to meet Holly’s Nanna. You had met her at the wedding but only briefly. Your brother and Holly’s special day had been somewhat dampened by the fact that Harry materialised again whenever you forgot about him and ended up drinking yourself into an early bedtime. The next morning you were rewarded with the worst hangover of your entire life.

Nanna was amazing. One of those larger than life women who weren’t afraid to drop the c word a couple of times without so much as batting an eyelid, and using Malibu as an excuse for a good time. You’d been seated on a round table which relieved you to no end. You were sandwiched between Nanna and your brother which meant there was a decent amount of distance between you and Harry.

“I need you to tell me something.” Nanna patted your arm, giving you her full attention.

It was like being addressed by royalty. “Anything.”

“I hear there’s a story about your brother involving nappies and toothpaste. A serial offence. He won’t tell me and Holly conveniently doesn’t know about it.”

You gave your brother a look.

“Please don’t.” He begged.

“But Nanna asked so nicely.”

“You’re about to embarrass me in front of the man I work for?”

You don’t look at Harry. “It’s not like you haven’t managed that all by yourself on previous occasions.”

“Yeah, don’t stop on my account.” Harry coughed, battling laughter.

“Great, we’re all on the same page.” You grinned. You turned back to Nanna, “Once upon a time, my little brother had to sleep in a crib and wear nappies just like all the other babies. He was cute, it should be said. I have a picture on my phone somewhere of him running around the garden with no clothes on.”

Your brother rolled his eyes and sunk into his seat with a scowl. Holly gave him a patronising pat on the shoulder.

“Anyway, beside the point. Like most toddlers he was an absolute tyrant, compared to me - I was an angel.”

“Hard to believe.” Harry muttered.

“Aye,” Nanna shot him a look. She’d been smitten with him all night until that point.

“Don’t worry about it - we’re in an ongoing feud.” You brushed the matter away and continued with your story. “During his reign of tyranny, he adopted a very obscure but passionate obsession with toothpaste. Colgate Cool Stripe only - no other product lived up to his expectations. It all started when, one day, our mother accidentally used adult toothpaste instead of the toddler stuff. An uphill battle began.

“Any time he had to clean his teeth, he’d try and use Colgate instead of the kiddy stuff, and mum or dad would fight with him until he surrendered in a screaming fit and had a toothbrush forced into his face hole.”

Someone sniggered, and your chest inflated. Making people laugh had always pleased you.

“His addiction got so bad, one night he managed to escape from his cot and into Mum and Dad’s bathroom. They found him on the floor with an empty tube and Colgate smushed all over his cute little face. Hours later he had a terrible accident. I won’t go into graphic detail since we’ve just had our dinner.”

Nanna started laughing, a throaty and hoarse sound. Given the amount of times she’d excused herself for a cigarette, you attributed that habit to the unique noise. “And this happened more than once?”

You nodded. “They tried locking it in the cabinet a few times, but he’d always find it. Eventually they changed tactics and just bought Aquafresh instead.”

Nanna hummed and gave him a pointed look. “I’ve always thought you were a picky bastard.”

“Nanna,” Holly gasped, shaking with laughter. She leaned her forehead against her husband’s shoulder.

“I can’t be that picky if I ended up with your granddaughter.”

Holly threw her hands up. “Does anyone else want to bully me today? Between that and being called very stupid I think I might have room for one more insult.”

“Your shoes don’t go with your dress.” Nanna said.

After a beat of silence, the table erupted into laughter.

The waiter returned to offer dessert, which you would usually forego since pubs rarely tended to offer gluten free choices without putting up a fight. You’d learned to live a sad, dessert-less existence. But everyone else was having one so you succumbed to peer pressure.

“What ice cream flavours do you have?”

“For the sundae?” The young girl asked with a confused frown.

“No, I’m coeliac so I can’t have it.”

“Oh,” her cheeks turned pink, which was not your intention, “sorry. Um, just the usual flavours, then.”

Neopolitan.

“Great, can I have two scoops of chocolate.”

“Sure.”

She was very quick to hurry off. Something bothered you about that whole exchange but you couldn’t put your finger on it.

“Aren’t you bored of chocolate ice cream?” Harry asked, but he was fiddling with his napkin rather than looking at you.

“Never.”

Holly kicked his leg under the table but you pretended not to notice.

After the bill was settled, which Harry tried to sneak off and pay for without telling anyone, you bid goodbye to each other and sent your brother, Holly and Nanna off together in a taxi. The waitress hadn’t stopped giving you wary glances ever since you asked for ice cream, and you still couldn’t place what went wrong. You might have been a little short with her but it wasn’t meant with any malice.

It didn’t really dawn on you what was wrong until you were walking up the hill to the cabin with Harry.

A curdling feeling in your stomach had you feeling very queasy very quickly.

“Oh no.” You mumbled, keeping your gaze on the grass below you. Your vision swung and you struggled to keep your balance.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, turning back to you. He’d been a couple of metres ahead of you for the entire walk so you didn’t have to force a conversation.

You sat down on the grass to keep yourself gravitated, but it was no good. You weren’t nauseous because you were dizzy, you were dizzy because you were sick.

You spent the next ten minutes vomiting into the bushes.

Harry had kept a relative distance from you while you were sick, only handing you a bottle of water when you seemed to give up the last of your stomach contents and take a big breath.

“Are you okay?” He asked in a cautious voice.

Unattractively, you swilled your mouth out and then necked the remaining contents of the bottle. “Yeah, fine.”

“What happened?”

“I think something went wrong at dinner.”

“What do you mean?”

You gave him a levelled look, trying to communicate with your eyes. It seemed like a ridiculous idea considering you could barely communicate together with words, let alone silent glances.

“Ah… did it say gluten free on the menu?”

You nodded.

“Did you tell them?”

You shook your head. Sometimes you liked to put faith in humanity and believe you’d be fine putting yourself in the hands of others. When you were dining with practical strangers, making a fuss about your condition made you feel like a twat, so you kept quiet about it. Now you wish you’d said something.

“Are you gonna make a complaint?”

You shook your head furiously and readjusted yourself to sit back on your arse rather than your knees. “Happens all the time, sadly.”

“That girl knew they’d fucked up, didn’t she?”

“You saw that?”

“I saw you looking at her a lot after the ice cream thing.”

You made a strange noise. “It is what it is. I don’t blame her for not saying anything. For all she knows I could be going home unscathed.”

“But you’re not.”

“Don’t worry about it, Harry. I’m not into making a scene.”

“You could’ve been seriously ill.”

“I know that.”

“If you don’t tell them they fucked up, how are they going to know to stop it from happening to someone else in the future?”

You took a deep breath and looked up to the sky. You and Harry had made progress today, on some weird level, but this was not part of that progress. “Fine. I’ll do something about it tomorrow.”

“No you won’t.”

“Leave it alone, Harry!” You finally snapped. “How I handle my health issues is none of your fucking business, especially when you haven’t got a fucking clue what it’s like to have them. Just drop it.”

His jaw ticked. “Fine.”

He disappeared up the hill and into the cabin without so much as another word.

You collapsed onto your back and let a tight sob wrack through you.

You contemplated what the fuck you were doing. This holiday had been nothing but a shit show from start to day 2 and you didn’t want to do it anymore. You should’ve gone home this morning. You’d refused to quit so early on given how long it had been since you had any real time off, but the universe was clearly working against you and you wished you hadn’t bothered.

As it always did, a second round of vomiting ensued, and you were back on your hands and knees hacking up bile while your stomach protested. You cried more as you threw up.

As the convulsions subsided you collapsed onto your back again, but the smell of it was starting to affect you. Slowly, you stood on shaky legs and attempted to make your way up to the cabin.

You hadn’t realised, but Harry was standing at the top of the hill wearing a frown, hands shoved into his pockets. When you caught sight of him you were ashamed. You knew what he’d said came from a good place, but it just really ground your gears when people who had no idea what it was like tried to tell you how to handle it.

He made his way back to you and silently placed his hand on the small of your back. It was warm and unfamiliar, but you couldn’t work out if the trembling from you was because of that or because you were just sick.

“How much more did you see?” You asked, helpless.

He gave you a startled look, like he was shocked to hear you so vulnerable. “Enough.”

You sighed and kept your gaze on the floor, trying not to fall over.

“Do you have any medication or anything?”

You shook your head. “It doesn’t really work like that.”

Once you got to the cabin you headed straight for the bathroom and changed into your pyjamas. You then poured yourself a glass of water and took it to bed with you. You were asleep within seconds.

~

You slept through the night that night. When you woke you felt a shit-ton better than you had the night before, and it left you with a smile on your face. You wriggled your legs and toes underneath the sheets and stretched your arms.

You realised the bed was empty, but when you peeled an eye open it was obvious Harry had slept on his side at some point. You sat up to an empty room. There was no sign of Harry, again.

You didn’t know much about Harry’s daily routine but you would put money on him being an early morning runner. You shivered at the thought.

He appeared whilst you were in the middle of your second round of toast. It was the only thing you could think to try and stomach after yesterday’s disaster. Harry was in regular clothes, not running attire. You owed yourself a fiver.

“Ah,” he paused at the sight of you eating toast, and limply lifted his hand. The same greasy brown paper bag rustled in his grip.

“Don’t be shy.” You patted the table after swallowing your mouthful. “I’ll still eat it.”

“You’re that hungry?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s what happens when you’re forced to empty your entire stomach contents.”

His nose wrinkled. “Right.”

You took a sip of coffee while he made himself comfortable in the seat opposite you. 

“How do you feel?”

“Well, I slept the night through and didn’t hit my head this morning which is a major improvement on yesterday.”

“That’s something. Do you feel right enough to go out?”

“If I weren’t on holiday I’d be right back to work, Harry. No rest for the wicked and all.”

“Is that a yes, then?” He cocked a brow.

“Yes, Harry.”

“Okay. I was gonna go down to the lake… it’s really warm out.”

“Are you telling me, or is that an invitation?”

He picked his pastry apart. “Both? I don’t know, it might do you some good.”

Concern? From your nemesis? This was bad. “Oh, don’t go coy on me, Harry. It doesn’t suit you.”

“Knew I shouldn’t have bothered.”

“That’s more like it.”

His mouth lifted at the corner for the shortest fraction of a second.

“Is it pebbly or sandy?”

An olive branch.

“Both?”

The worst kind of lake beach, then. “The type that calls for a special type of shoe.”

He grimaced. “I know.”

“It’s fine. We make do.” You pronounced, and stood from the table with your dirty things. “Give me 20 minutes and we’ll go.”

~

“That alright?”

You peered up at the man blocking the sun with a pinched look. He stood before you in a faded white t-shirt and board shorts, holding an ice cream cone with a single chocolate scoop on top.

“As long as it’s the right cone, it’s perfect.”

“I double checked.” He promised as he handed it to you, and then sat with his own.

This was day four on the beach by the lake. While you and Harry spent the time there together, you did your own thing. He spent most of his time in the water like a fucking fish, and you spent yours on a towel with a book and enough food to feed the 5,000.

You’d found a tolerable medium with Harry. In the day you gave each other your needed space, and at night time you tried not to touch each other in bed. Or smother each other. So far it had worked well.

You hadn’t seen Holly or your brother since that night at dinner. They’d actually been visiting for a relative’s birthday party and had already gone home, leaving you and Harry to suffer together.

“I think you’re running low on your special bread.”

You snorted and covered your mouth. ‘Special bread’ made you sound like some kind of escaped lunatic.

“I don’t know why I said it like that.” Harry shook his head. “But the fact remains.”

“We’re running low on a lot.”

“Maybe we should go shopping.”

You groaned. This is what your life had come to: grocery shopping with a celebrity.

“I’ll make it as painless as possible.”

“Where even is the nearest supermarket?”

“I don’t know - I went shopping on the way here.”

“So did I.”

Has there ever been a more ridiculous conversation?

Harry found his phone and checked for signal, soon letting out a soft sigh. “Five weeks without WiFi was a stupid idea.”

“Ain’t that the truth.”

You decided to check a map on the notice board outside the public toilets on the lake site and decided there must be a supermarket in the nearest town. Harry drove you out into the Scottish countryside following his sat-nav’s directions to the closest town.

It was a little odd being in the same car as him. While your brother’s work relationship and subsequent marriage had brought him into your life for many a family gathering, you’d never found yourself in quite such a confined space as this. Apart from the bed situation. You were certain he was being quiet on your behalf, because silence was better than small talk. The decision to go shopping had proven that much.

“Unbelievable.” He muttered the second you entered the supermarket.

You followed his nervous gaze to a man with a camera doing a shitty job at hiding. “Go back to the car if you want to.”

“Hardly fair.”

“Being uncomfortable isn’t fair.” You insisted. “Go take a drive and be back here in half an hour. I don’t mind.”

He sighed and handed you the list you’d prepared before leaving. “I’ll be back.”

“Yes, please don’t use this opportunity to abandon me here.”

He smirked. “Don’t put ideas in my head.” He took his wallet out of his pocket and handed you his card. “Use that.”

You frowned at it, and then him in turn. “I don’t mind paying for it.”

“Pay with my card and then send me half when you find signal or internet or whatever.” He turned away, but threw, “Half an hour,” over his shoulder.

You had to take a moment to collect yourself. Now you weren’t grocery shopping with a celebrity, you were using one’s credit card.

Before you started your shopping, you had one more thing you had to do. Stalking the man who was stalking your reluctant companion was easy because he didn’t try very hard to be subtle. You tapped him on the shoulder.

He spun around with a bewildered look on his face. “Yes?”

“Delete them.”

~

True to his word, Harry returned half an hour later with a confusing smile. “Guess what I found.”

You let him take the bags out of your hands to shove them in the boot of his car. “What?”

“A fucking Costa.”

“No way…”

“Yes way.” He grinned.

“Where?”

“Literally around the corner.” He thumbed in that general direction. “I got two ‘cause I didn’t know which one you liked.”

“As long as it’s got coffee in it, I’ll consume it.”

Sure enough, two starkly different iced coffees sat in the cup holders in his central console. 

“Which one do you want?” You asked. He did buy them after all.

“I don’t mind. You choose.”

“Please pick one.”

“No.”

“Harry.”

“Fine.” He plucked one at random and started drinking as he pulled off. “Happy?”

“Yes. Thank you.” And you meant it, too.

Silence settled between you again as you slurped away at your coffee. It was comfortable this time. You put the window down and stuck your arm out to feel the breeze through your fingers.

“Do you ever wonder how we got so…”

You looked over at him with a curious expression, but he never finished his sentence. “What?”

Harry shook his head. “Never mind.”

“Oh, come on, Harry.” You poked his arm. “You’ve never been one to mince your words in front of me before. Don’t start now.”

His lips twitched with a smile, but it was quickly replaced by something else. A kind of sad contemplation. “I don’t want to ruin a rare nice day.”

Now you were the one struggling to find words. Animosity was just the default practice for you and Harry when you were around each other. After so many years of battling over often ridiculous things, he was right. This was a rare nice day. You hadn’t argued once. Come to think of it, you hadn’t argued at all since the day you were sick. That little spat on the hill was the last one.

But curiosity ate away at you. What was he going to say that had the potential to ruin your good time? Knowing Harry, it could be any number of things.

“I promise I won’t lose my shit if you tell me.”

His face lit up with amusement, but he never laughed. “Shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.”

Right there, in that single moment, you were reminded just why the world had an obsession with the man sitting beside you. Even in the blandest setting, Harry Styles looked like the man who would promise you everything you’ve ever wanted and be able to deliver it to you. The man who held enough charisma both on and off stage for a hundred other men. The man with pretty eyes and pretty pink lips. The man who looked damn good whether he was clean-shaven or harbouring two weeks of scruff like he was now. The man who would spoil you to no end, who would give you a life of comfort and stability, who would drop everything at a second’s notice to be yours. Fuck, he looked like the man who might even die for you.

You’d seen Harry in love and the man gave his whole fucking heart and soul to the person he was with. His inherent attractiveness was just a bonus.

“Tell me, please.” You tried again.

He considered it for a moment, chewing the inside of his cheek. Eventually he sighed, “Do you ever wonder how things managed to get so bad? Between us?”

Ah.

A loaded question, indeed.

“Do you want the honest answer?”

He glanced your way, jaw suddenly tense. “I don’t know.”

“I don’t tend to wonder about it because I haven’t forgotten at all how we did.”

“Walk me through it.”

“Are you sure you want that?”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from the most honest woman I know.”

You were biding your time, mulling over your response. Perhaps this would ruin your nice day, but this was the most open conversation the two of you were ever going to have. Not talking about it would be both a missed opportunity and a disservice to yourself.

“Okay. You’re not going to like it, though.”

“I didn’t expect to.”

You took a deep breath. “The first time I met you didn’t go at all how I expected it to. In hindsight I guess, to you, I would’ve just been a footnote. Your friends have other friends you probably meet all the time and I was just one of the next hundred. Holly and my brother had only just started dating, but Holly and I got on so well we started doing things together as friends without him. She invited me to lunch with… you know, the usual suspects.”

He nodded once, slowly. The usual suspects he wasn’t speaking to anymore for various different reasons. You didn’t keep tabs on Harry’s life by choice, but Holly and the internet provided more about it than you cared for.

“Maybe you were just young. Or maybe there was something different that I just missed or didn’t understand, but you weren’t at all like I expected you to be. Everyone - my brother, Holly, my parents -, everyone said you were amazing. ‘The nicest boy you’ll ever meet’. And sure, you were nice. Charming, even. And you had everyone’s undivided attention, including Holly’s. And mine. But Holly’s more so.

“That girl loves you. And I watched her love you up close and personal and it was amazing and beautiful and I really wanted her to give just even a portion of that love to my brother. And she did, but it didn’t come without a fight.

“I didn’t care that you spent most of that lunch ignoring everyone else at the table. Or maybe I did. I just knew that you only cared about Holly’s undivided attention and she had no quarrels giving it to you. There was a time I thought you might be secretly in love with each other,” you laughed at the reminder because it seemed stupid now, “but when I brought it up with her she laughed so hard she cried and then pretended to vomit.”

“Damn,” Harry produced an offended laugh. “Didn’t know I was that repulsive.”

“Anyway, it didn’t stop her from loving you. Never has. Soon after, I spent a week with her and my brother in Spain on some all-inclusive thing. Before you ask, I was forced to go. Being a third-wheel is absolutely not my style.”

He chuckled. “I didn’t think it sounded like you.”

You shook your head. “Not at all. Anyway, I watched Holly send constant photos, messages, gifs, any and all digital media to you while we were on that holiday, cataloguing the entire thing. I don’t think you realise how many times I heard oh Harry’s gonna love this. But what got me is you never replying to her. Not once. Her phone screen was just a sea of blue messages against a backdrop of silence. At one point I considered she’d got the wrong number, but then you texted her the day we left with something really dull and generic and I really wanted to hit you.”

“I don’t remember this at all.” He admitted, face paled.

“That doesn’t surprise me. You’re a busy man. I reminded myself of that a lot to start off with, but the whole thing became a recurring pattern. Maybe you think I’m stupid and it’s a bit of an overreaction for it, but I’m quite observant when I want to be. You’re Holly’s best friend, even if she’s not yours. Every time she says it, it’s like she’s been given the greatest gift in the entire world. And she’s such a bright, incredible person. She’s my best friend. Not just because she’s married to my brother, but because she’s the best person I’ve ever met and nothing will ever change that.

“Over the years I’ve watched countless messages and phone calls from her to you go unanswered, seen her face turn down with sadness when you don’t call her back or text out a reply. She deserves more than that. 

“I’ve noticed you do it to my brother, too. I know he works for you so maybe it’s not the same, but it’s safe to say that in their house, Harry Styles isn’t a name that lights up their phone screens very often. Ever.”

Harry fidgeted a little and cleared his throat. “All this time I thought I’d done something to you.”

“No. Worse. You continually managed to upset my best friend, even if you didn’t know it, and in turn you upset me.”

“Then I’m sorry.”

“It’s not me you need to apologise to, Harry. She’ll never admit that she’s hurt by your silence because she doesn’t want to lose you. This is why we’re so very different. I don’t hang around for people who don’t appreciate the good they have in their life. I’m a good person, and Holly is an even better one. She deserves more than your attention when she’s only sat in front of you.”

“You’re right. I’m an idiot.”

“Yes you are.”

His lips twitched again. “The next time I’m in the village with signal I’ll call her. Promise.”

“Don’t promise me. Promise yourself, and her. One day she might snap and decide she doesn’t want to wait for months at a time to hear from you. Because hearing about you through my brother doesn’t count.”

“I know. I get it, I really do…”

“Good. Now, my turn.” You let out a long breath and turned in your seat. “Why do you hate me so much?”

“I don’t hate you-,”

“You called me both insufferable and intolerable in the space of five minutes when I got here.”

“Let me finish.” He said, exasperated. “I don’t hate you, I’m scared of you.”

“Calling someone intolerable because you’re scared of them doesn’t make any sense.”

“Well, let’s put it this way. While perhaps you were right, at first I thought you were just another friend of a friend who’d made an appearance for uncertain reasons, it became apparent very quickly that you weren’t going anywhere. It also became very apparent that you were not my biggest fan. That first lunch was one of a kind because you barely said a word. Every other time after that, which I now realise happened to be family-oriented, you hardly shut up.

“I’ve always noticed it. You command the attention of everyone in the room. You’re a storyteller. You could turn an anecdote about a trip to the petrol station into a fairytale. You give everyone in the room your undivided attention, and when I realised you never gave it to me, well… safe to say I was wounded. Holly talked you up to high heaven. Your brother loves you. My own mother loves you even though we don’t get on.

“There’s something about you. And the fact that the only attention you ever gave me was a dirty look or a snippy remark made me petty. So I started giving it back, and I think the more I did it, the more I lost sight of the kind of person you actually are, because I only focused on the side you showed to me.”

He turned into the driveway of the cabin, and you thought he was done. But when the engine shut off, he said one last thing.

“In one of your many little outbursts you said I’ve got a severe case of oosoom syndrome. I never bothered to look it up because I didn’t want to know what kind of idiot you thought I was, but it’s just clicked.”

“Out of sight, out of mind.”

He nodded and turned to you with a calm gaze. “I get it now.” He wasn’t just talking about the idiom.

“Good.”

~

The rain was back and heavier than ever. The ground surrounding the cabin was a swamp, the hill that led down to the village was indiscernible thanks to the downpour, and the day was dark and moody. Inside the cabin it was muggy and humid and you felt ridiculous sitting at the dining table in a vest and denim shorts, but you were.

Harry sitting opposite you looked more rugged than usual. His hair was pulled back with a clip, his stubble was shifting into a beard and his clothes were wrinkled.

“Hmm…” He gave an obnoxious tap on his chin.

You rolled your eyes and sunk into the seat. “Just put me out of my misery and show me your cards.”

He laughed, peering at you with a lightness in his eyes that was so unfamiliar it almost had you shell shocked. “Fine.” He placed his hand on the table showcasing his win.

It was day three of this charade. It hadn’t stopped raining and all you’d done was cycle between card games and Monopoly. He always won. You were so fed up of him winning that this was the last straw.

You stood and swiped his hand off the table so that they landed in a flurry on the wooden cabin floor. 

“Hey…” he pouted.

“That was childish of me, I’m sorry.” You groaned, and crouched down to pick them up. “I’m so bored, Harry. I think I’m going mad. We don’t even have a TV. We’re in the middle of nowhere with a pack of cards missing the Ace of Spades and Queen of Hearts and an old beat up Monopoly box with half the properties missing.”

He blinked at me. “I know this. I’ve been with you the whole time.”

“Sorry.” You muttered. “When I’m frustrated I just state the obvious.”

“But I thought that was my job.”

You rolled your head back and sighed at the ceiling. “I need to do something. Anything. I don’t want to sit in here anymore. I need air.”

“It’s pissing it down.”

“I’m aware. You have a car… just humour me for a bit. An hour tops.”

“You want me to drive you around for an hour? In a smaller space than we’re already in?”

“Okay, fine,” you sat back down in your chair and attempted to plead with the normal side of him, the non-celebrity side, “what if… when me and my brother were little and we went away with Mum and Dad, if the weather was crap like this we’d get in the car and drive to the nearest supermarket. And we’d have lunch in the cafe and then do a bit of shopping and then come back. And we’d all get one thing to bide the time before the weather got better again. Why don’t we do that?”

A smile was forming on his lips. “You want to try shopping with me again?”

“That prick and his fancy camera won’t be going back there, trust me.”

His eyes narrowed. “Why, what did you do?”

“Nothing you need to worry about.” You patted his hand. “Please, Harry. Rescue me from insanity.”

“Fine, but only ‘cause you asked so nicely.”

“Yay!” You stood and clapped your hands together. “I’m gonna change.”

Half an hour later you were back at the supermarket in the town over and ready to find as much new entertainment as possible.

“Do you think we should buy them a TV?” Harry contemplated aloud as he stood in front of a large flatscreen.

You gave him a scrutinous look. “And put it where?”

“Good point.” He sighed. “We’re missing Love Island.”

You barked a laugh and carried it down the aisle with you. “That is not what I expected you to mourn over.”

“I’m full of surprises.”

You found your way to the games and books. “Can we get a jigsaw puzzle?”

“Why are you asking me? Get whatever you want, mate.”

You perused the options with as much interest as a car fanatic in a vintage car garage. “Farmyard or harbour? Or circus? Or mountains?”

“Whichever will keep you occupied for the longest.” He said absently, moving down the aisle to the board games.

The circus one had the most pieces and highest level of difficulty, so you plucked the box off the shelf and followed after him. “Have they got the Game of Life?”

He started laughing but never answered you.

“Oh,” you pouted, tapping the spin-off version that was much shorter and way less entertaining.

“Bop-It?” 

“When I was little I completed that.”

He raised a brow at you. “Can you even complete Bop-It?”

“Yes,” you snatched the box off the shelf, “and I will prove it to you when we get back.”

“We’ll see about that.” He whispered, smirking. “We need an actual board game.”

You gazed over the options with the same level of interest as the jigsaws. “You choose. I’ve picked the last two.”

“Absolutely not, I’ll only pick wrong.”

“What’s your favourite?”

“Cluedo.”

“Then get Cluedo.” You pointed at it and walked away.

Two hours later and three books heavier you were back at the cabin and starting your jigsaw puzzle. You and Harry sat on your claimed sides of the table, box lid propped against the window and a selection of snacks between you.

“Where the fuck is the fourth corner?” You grumbled, digging through the box like a cat in a litter tray.

Harry glanced at the box lid, then at the jumbled selection of tiles, and plucked it out without hesitation. “There y’go.”

You blinked at him. “Is there anything you’re not good at?” You pinched it from him and placed it in the relevant corner. “Thank you.”

“A compliment and gratitude? It is a good day.”

You stuck your tongue out at him.

“I’m not very good at the splits.”

That made you laugh, right from the back of your throat. “Have you tried?”

“Many times.”

“For what purpose?”

“I had a thing for my yoga instructor once and she was convinced I could do it so I kept trying just to impress her.”

“My God, you are a sap.”

“Pathetic, isn’t it?”

“It’s nice to know you failed at something for such a pitiful reason.”

He gave you such a megawatt smile you had to look away. “I’m just like any other boy.”

“I can’t believe you had to try hard to impress anyone. It almost doesn’t seem natural.”

“You make me sound like a robot.”

“I don’t think you’re a robot. I just think sometimes things seem to come a little too easily to you. Skills. Work. Friends. Women. Probably men, too. Some of us have to try really hard to get those things.”

“You have friends. A good job. And I refuse to believe people aren’t interested in you… romantically.”

You lifted a brow at him. “Refuse?”

“Are they not?”

“Have you ever known me to be ‘romantically’ involved with anyone?”

“Yeah, that lad you took to your brother’s wedding.”

Colin.

“He’s gay.”

“Oh.” He scratched his nose. “I wondered why he kept eyeing up one of the groomsmen. Your cousin?”

“Also gay.”

“Have you never had a boyfriend?”

“Not since school, no.”

“Have you… are you… you know?”

You gave him another raised brow. “You’re not seriously asking me that.”

He rubbed his hands down his face and groaned. “I’m sorry. Ignore me.”

“Just because I haven’t had relationships, doesn’t mean I’m a virgin, Harry.”

The tips of his ears turned pink. “I think we’ve gone a bit off track here.”

“You’re tellin’ me.”

He slotted a piece into place next to one of the corners. You slotted another one in after that. The pattern repeated itself, in silence, for the next twenty minutes.

“When do you go to your AirBnB?”

You met his gaze with a calm expression. “Six days. Five nights.”

“Okay.” He said as he stood. “Are you hungry enough for dinner yet?”

“If you are, we can eat.”

He gave a stiff nod. “Okay.”

~~~

Part 2

Talk to me?

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Strawberries and Cream

Paring: Eddie Diaz x Reader

Word count: 6.2k

Notes: LEAVE ME ALONE ITS CALLED MOVIE MAGIC

P.S I honestly couldn't have continued this story without you two @chihard20 @idkimjusthere100 thank you for helping me with this

Episode 10: How Can I Breathe Without You

Buck slams the full food container into the trash as he comes into the studio. He runs his hands through his hair, tugging at the ends

And then he screams. 

He throws a full-on tantrum, screaming his head off and stomping his feet, knocking over the trash can and dropping to the floor, sobbing into his hands.

Eddie hasn’t eaten 

Eddie hasn’t showered 

Eddie hasn’t shaved 

Eddie hasn’t moved 

He’s doing the shittiest job at being “world’s best friend” You’d kill him if he didn’t take care of Eddie, he knows you would. You’d kill Eddie for not taking care of Eddie. 

And he tries to tell Buck, with a little smile on his face that he’s okay, that he’s “perfectly fine buddy” but he’s just not 

God stupid Eddie. He never just accepts help. 

Tommy gets on his knees and starts cleaning up the trash, he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t look at him. He just quietly starts cleaning up. 

“Were you gonna tell me you were here or was I just supposed to find out when you came to clean up my mess and scared the shit out of me”

“I’m not cleaning that one up” 

Buck lets his head fall back, laughing as tears stream down the sides of his face and Tommy smiles, shaking his head. Buck gets up from the floor and runs his hands through his hair again 

“That can wait I’ll- I’ll clean it later” 

“Hey don’t worry I got it” 

“Please. Just- wash your hands. Please, I want to go lay down” Buck's voice wavers a bit and Tommy looks back at him, pushing slowly off the floor 

“Alright, I’ll be up in a minute” 

Buck knows you’d be screaming, if you caught them that is, Tommy's arms wrapped tightly around him as he sniffles into his chest. Of course, this moment wouldn’t really be happening if you were awake. 

Tommy had stayed at Bucks place every day since you’d been in the hospital. Buck didn’t really want to be alone… and sure he lives alone but, but you’re just always there now and Maddie had been hanging out a bit more lately too and everyone was so happy and- 

“You’re thinking too much,” Tommy says softly, kissing Buck’s forehead “Which is rare for you” he jokes, and Buck smiles a little while rolling his eyes

“I miss her. I went so long not seeing her… I regret not staying in touch better. We talked but… it wasn’t often you know. I should have taken care of her. I love her, Tommy… she’s my little sister” 

“She’s not dead Evan. The Doctor said she’d be waking up any day now”

“He said that a week ago” Buck scoffs and Tommy pulls back to look at him 

“She’s not dead. And she’s not going to die.” 

His voice is so firm and so final that Buck can’t help but let it feed that tiny little flame of hope that had been long dwindling. He can feel his chest warm up again, heartbeat spreading through his body as Tommy strokes his hair, placing another lingering kiss on his forehead… or he’s just blushing 

“Do you want to come with me to see her today?” Buck asks, toying with Tommy’s shirt 

“I’d love to, you can read to her again. I think she likes when you do that”

“She did when we were kids, I’d make all the funny voices for her” He laughs a little, sniffling as tears start to fall “Maybe I’ll go buy like a fuckin Geronimo Stilton book. We loved those” 

“Why wait? Let’s go buy her a whole damn set” Tommy pulls away from Buck, getting out of bed and holding his hand out 

“We’ll get her the books, get some food for Eddie that I will be force-feeding him and you can read to her” 

Buck takes his hand and pulls him from the bed, pulling him close to his chest and hugging him tightly 

“It’s gonna be okay Evan. No matter what happens, I’ll be here for you okay?” 

“Okay”

Tommy drives him to Half Price because Buck knows you’d prefer he got a bargain on them if he was gonna spend that much money (Tommy spends the money, but he refuses to let Buck pay). He buys all your old favorites and even a few of the newer ones he thinks look cute. He comes away with 23 Geronimo Stilton books, the entire Divergent series, and the first book of Ice Planet Barbarians. Tommy stares at it as he holds the pile and Buck shrugs 

“It’ll make her laugh” 

Maddie’s taken a leave of absence. 

Chimney made her, coming to her two weeks after what happened and practically begging her. 

“You’re running yourself ragged, between work and then the hospital after? I’m worried about the baby, I’m worried about you”

“I’ll be okay Chim, honestly” She smiles at him but he knows her, and loves her. 

“No, you won’t be. We can’t do this Maddie you need to slow down, you need to take a break. Please Y/N will be crushed if anything happens to the baby because of her” 

“Because of her?? Are you seriously blaming her??” She raises her voice, and he knows she just needs someone to be mad at, she doesn’t mean it.

“You know what I mean Maddie. You need to take a break!” 

“What I’m just supposed to give up on my cousin?? My little sister??” 

“No, of course not. But she’d be heartbroken if anyth-“

“Nothing is going to happen to my baby. I’m perfectly capable of handling this!” 

“Your baby?” He blinks, and she stops, putting her hands down on the counter in front of her, not saying a thing. He nods his head slowly, looking away from her 

“I need to get to work” 

“Howie-“

He walks past her, giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek, and leaves 

She comes and sees you every day, Eddie is there, stretched out on the lounge they have there for patients and visitors. He’s looking rough, like really rough. She tries to make him go home, to rest up, take a shower get something to eat 

But he just kisses her cheek and says he’s fine there. He cleans himself up in the bathroom when he needs to he’s fine

She hates seeing what he’s doing to himself but isn’t she doing the same practically? She sits by your bedside, telling you about her day, making Eddie cover his ears when she talks about problems with Chim. 

She’s not been eating much lately, she’s sleeping a lot more… the baby is due so soon. What if you’re not there for it? How can they celebrate the birth of the baby when you’re missing? 

“She’s gonna be there,” Eddie says one day after he wakes up from a nap. He listens to Maddie for a little bit, expressing her growing frustrations and sadness, especially with herself

“She’d never miss this, she’ll be there Mads. Chimney is right, you need a break”

“I yelled at him… I- I shouldn’t have. I know he’s right, you’re both right.”She runs her hands through her hair, letting her tears fall 

“I just need her to wake up”

She comes home that night and makes him dinner, okay she didn’t exactly make it but he loves In n out and he hadn’t had it in a while, but she set it out on the table with a little candle!! 

He comes in, pretty late. Tossing his bag on the floor and slipping his shoes off. 

“Hey,” She says softly and he looks up, smiling slowly and walking over 

“Hey” He kisses her head and pulls out his chair, sitting next to her 

“What’s this huh?” He smirks and she takes his hand, kissing it softly 

“Our baby had a craving” 

He looks at her, cupping his hands around hers and she smiles, putting her forehead against their hands 

“I do love Y/N Maddie. But you, and the baby? Are my priorities”

“I know” 

“I could have said it nicer”

“No, no don’t do that” She sniffles a little and looks up at him “I knew what you meant I just- I lost my temper. You were right. Today was my last day, I started my maternity leave early…” 

“Thank you, Maddie,” He says sincerely, getting up from his seat and wrapping his arms tightly around her. 

“It’s gonna work out, you’ll see” 

Hen finally stops blaming herself, after Karen threatens to leave her and go stay in a hotel for a few days. She knows it’s extreme. But that’s all Hen talks about, she keeps going over that night over and over again like if she does it enough she can just change something. 

The worst part is when she starts to blame Karen a bit too. Why didn’t we spend more time with her that night? Why didn’t we pay attention to her? 

“It was a night out!” Karen yells, they’d been doing that a lot lately “We were all having fun!”

“We shouldn’t have just kept to ourselves! She would have been safe if we just stopped making out and paid attention to that creep!”

“We specifically told them we would kinda be keeping to ourselves! She encouraged it!” 

“It was a mistake!” Hen yells back, and Karen stares at her for a second before storming to the closet and grabbing her overnight bag 

“What are you doing?”

“What the fuck does it look like I’m doing? I can’t live like this, it’s been three weeks Hen. She’s in a coma because of an allergic reaction not because we decided to have one damn night together” 

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Hen says quietly 

“No, you shouldn’t have. It doesn’t even make sense. We can’t control other people’s actions, only our own. You helped her until the paramedics came, wasn’t that enough?” 

“It doesn’t feel like it” 

“She would have bled out on the damn table if you hadn’t” She stops packing for a second her hand trembling 

“I had to watch that girl bleed out as Tommy carried her to a diner. She didn’t even know what was going on.” 

All this time Hen was so wrapped up in her feelings and things she could have changed, but she didn’t see how it had affected Karen… she forgot, Karen doesn’t see these things daily like she does… 

Hen comes around the bed, holding her tightly in her arms as she breaks down, starting to breathe heavily, her hands shaking her, her body trembling 

“I-I thought- I thought she was gonna die in there. On a diner table,” she sobs and Hen shushes her softly, rubbing her back 

“I had it handled, baby you know that. She lived. She’s okay….she…she lived”

And that’s when Hen finally gets out of he own head, her own sorrow, and learns that other people were affected too and that she had done everything she could. She just couldn’t see it past her own pain. Her wife was just as traumatized… maybe even more so and she’d neglected her needs, her anxieties about everything. She’d even yelled at her like it could fix things… 

“I’m so sorry,” Hen says, crying into her hair and Karen holds her just as tightly 

“So am I” 

Bobby comes for the first time today. 

He’d been staying away, keeping everyone together. But they’ve all said the same thing, they’re all worried about the same thing 

Eddie. 

He walks in with flowers, to go with the ridiculous amount Buck keeps bringing because he knows how much you love flowers and he says it’s totally scientific that you’ll wake up when you’re surrounded by the things you love 

Eddie slept in your bed every night after he said that. 

“Hey” Bobby smiles as he sets them down on the little table in front of you, Eddie looks up at him blinking slowly as he wakes up from a nap 

“Oh hey, haven’t seen you in a while” 

“Five weeks?”

“Five weeks,” Eddie says softly, as he gets up and stretches 

“Come on, I’m taking you home” He reaches his hand out and Eddie looks at it, before shrugging

“No it’s okay, I’m fine. I’ve… I’ve been telling everyone I’m-“

“Don’t start that with me, you’ve got two choices. I carry you out kicking and screaming or you come with me willingly, you shower, you eat something, and I bring you right back”

“Bobby-“

“I’ve got one damn kid in a hospital bed, you think I wanna see another? She’s going to be pissed when she sees you, Eddie. Do you really want to do that to her? She’s going to be wracked with guilt” 

Athena comes in the room now, she’s got fresh clothes and a bag full of Eddie doesn’t know what

“Alright get out, I’m gonna change her. Go back to the house and clean up” 

Eddie stares at them, blinking slowly like he can’t process what’s going on, and lord knows he probably can’t he hasn’t eaten a proper meal in how long? Bobby reaches out for him, holding his arm 

“Let us take care of you son. Please” 

Eddie looks at you,.. he can’t leave you. He just can’t, he’s refused to for anyone else so why does it feel so different when they tell him to leave. 

“Yes you can” Athena whispers, coming over to him and putting her arm around him 

“She won’t ever be alone, I’m right here with her. Ain’t no one touching one of my babies. You go take care of yourself for her”

Eddie isn’t even sure when he started crying, but he can’t stop and it feels like he’s never going to stop. He sobs loudly, his body shaking as Bobby rushes over and holds him. He collapses into Bobby’s arms, sobbing his heart out. They gently fall to the floor where Bobby rubs his back, shushing him softly.

“It’s gonna be okay Eddie, she’s gonna be okay” 

He hadn’t cried, not since he was alone in the bathroom the first night he’d been told. No, he stayed strong for his family, he had to.

Buck needed him.

Maddie needed him.

Hen needed him.

Tommy needed him.

Maybe that’s why it’s so easy to break in front of Bobby and Athena. They didn’t need him right now, they were the ones keeping the others together when they weren’t at the hospital with him. He still doesn’t like it, he feels weak, like he can’t hold himself together anymore

“Let it out son, I’m here,” Bobby says soothingly “We’re here”

Eddie can’t hear the way your heartbeats start to change. You’d think he would, he’d been listening to them, watching them, for weeks. But he’s too busy finally falling apart, letting himself feel all the fears and worries he’s been keeping bottled up for weeks now. He lets himself cling to Bobby like a scared little kid who needs his father 

“What if she never wakes up?” He can barely speak through his tears “W-what if-“ 

Athena gets down now, tilting Eddie’s head up to her straight in the eyes 

“She’s going to wake up,” She says softly, with a firm “and we’re not thinking any different” look. “She’s strong Eddie, you know that, we all know that” 

He knows that he can’t bring himself to doubt it. Because if it did he would just be a shell, if he isn’t one already…

“I should have left for Saturn” he laughs bitterly to himself as his sobs finally quiet. He leans into Bobby, still trying to control himself, but Bobby does it for him, holding onto him tightly. 

“Fuck you” 

Eddie laughs again, shaking his head. “I think I’m finally losing it” he sniffles while rocking back and forth, wiping at his eyes “Shit I’m losing it. I can hear her cursing at me for wanting to leave” 

“Oh my god,” Athena says as she stands up, breathlessly rushing from the room “Doctor??” 

Eddie looks around for a moment, scrambling up from the floor. You’re staring right back at him, your eyes sparkling just for him. The doctors and nurses rush in and he’s gently moved aside. He collapses onto the lounge and Bobby sits next to him, his arm over him. 

They spend time fussing over you, giving you pain medication and something to soothe your throat, going over your vitals and asking you all kinds of questions, doing all kinds of little tests for now, and explaining things to you 

“Eddie” Your voice is so scratchy and rough and the Doctor tries to shush you, he doesn’t want you talking yet but you say his name again, again and again, no matter how much it hurts 

He walks over to your bed, his legs barely able to carry him from how hard he’s shaking. He takes your hand in his, looking at you with wide eyes 

“Crying?” You ask softly, coughing a bit and he gives you a sip of the lukewarm water 

“You…you heard me crying?” He asks, laughing incredulously “Are-“ He sounds insane “All I had to do was fucking cry?? And you’d come back to me??” 

“You said you were leaving” It’s more of a broken sentence, and you’re having a hard time talking but he kind of understands it 

“What? No, I’d never-“ 

“Saturn” Bobby says from behind him “You said you wanted to go to Saturn??”

Eddie shakes his head at you, before falling forward on you. His tears soak into the pretty pink dress Maddie had put you in a few days before, the one he recognizes you’d been wearing when you first met him. You try your best to move your hand but Bobby takes it carefully, placing it in Eddie’s messy curls. You flex your fingers a bit, mimicking petting his hair and you both stay like that for a while, eventually, you coax him into the bed with you where he’d been sleeping and he buries his face in your neck 

“I should have told you that night, on our first date? I should have told you I loved you. I should have told you I loved you in the car after the beach, I should have told you when you moved in with me. And I should have been telling you every day since I met you that I love you” 

“I know” 

Your heartbeat skyrockets on the monitor and Bobby pats Eddie’s leg 

“Hey, you better be being appropriate!” He jokes, wiping away the tears in his eyes and Athena hugs him tightly. He puts his arm around her and kisses her head

You snort through your nose and Eddie rolls his eyes 

“Well” he looks at you and your heart skips a beat, literally, which just makes him laugh and he hugs you to him tightly, as tight as you can stand it 

“Are you gonna say it back?” He says sassily and you giggle shaking your head. His mouth drops open and he turns to Bobby and Athena 

“Hey! Hey are you seeing this?! I pour my heart out to this twerp, this ungrateful little brat!” 

Your head falls back as you cackle and he smacks the side of your thigh and you yelp 

“Oh shit, I probably shouldn’t do that huh?”

“No, you shouldn’t,” The doctor says as he types on the computer in front of him

“Because you know. She’s in a hospital bed. And as you know, in a coma” 

Eddie flicks him off and makes a little face at him. They’d spent a lot of time together these last few weeks. Sometimes Dr. Din- the man who’d been assigned to your case would come in and just sit with you for a little while, he and Eddie talked a lot and said you reminded him of his kid he’d lost a long time ago. 

“It is very nice to meet you, by the way, kid” He nods to you and you smile, giving him a little wave with your fingers and Eddie rolls his eyes 

“Traitor” He huffs and you narrow your eyes 

“Big baby” 

His mouth drops open and you try and stifle your giggles 

“You have the biggest fucking audacity to be saying that to me. When you know, you know!!! You are the biggest crybaby in the entire world! You even cry to get your way with me!! Like when I bought you that second Hello Kitty plush so your first wouldn’t be lonely!” 

You pout at him and sniffle and he gestures “See!!”

“You are being pretty mean to her,” Dr. Din says and he throws one of the little stuffed animals Buck bought you at him 

“You stay out of this!” 

Your shoulders shake as you giggle at his antics and he groans, rubbing his hand over his face “Biggest brat I know” 

“But you love it” You bat your eyelashes at him and he smiles, nuzzling his nose against yours

“Yeah… I do love it” 

“And I love you,” You say, and Eddie stares down at you, his heart melting all over again 

“You what?” He says quietly, playfully and you know him too well by now, you can hear that tiny little hint of hesitancy, like he doesn’t believe you’re saying it to him 

“I love you… I love you, I love you, I love you” 

Buck comes barging in just like he always does, with a giant paper bag and Tommy behind him with a plastic bag.

“Eddie Diaz, get ready to eat you don’t have any damn choice, I brought backup,” He says as he walks in and sets the bag of books down 

“And Y/N get ready to kill Trap” He grabs the first book from the top of the pile and turns around. Eddie is lying in bed with you, stroking your hair softly, while you stare at Buck with a little smile on your face 

“I’d kill for anything to eat right now,” Eddie says, reaching out for Tommy’s bag and he walks over, handing it to him. 

“Y-Y/N??” Buck says softly and you smile at him 

“Bucky bear” your voice is still a bit rough and scratchy but you’ve had enough tea to drown England at this point and it’s sounding as normal as possible 

“W-when…?” He’s too stunned to move, too stunned to be “Buck” 

“A few hours ago,” Eddie says “She had to do so many tests and be brought to so many rooms she asked me not to call you until she could spend time with you without having to leave.” 

“Does Maddie know?” 

“She’s on her way, Y/N wanted to surprise you both when you texted you were coming. This is good” he nods at Tommy, who’s leaning quietly against the back wall 

“I’ll show you guys where I got it from when she’s better… maybe a double date?” 

You perk up immediately, trying to sit up and Eddie gets out of bed, setting his food down on the table so he can help you adjust 

“No- no we’re not discussing that right now” Buck can finally walk again and he practically runs across the room now, diving onto the bed and squishing the life out of you 

“Buck!” Eddie groans and you just laugh as he lays on you, not caring at all about all the weight he’s putting on you 

“Nope nope nope I’m staying right here for the rest of my life I’m never moving. I’m gonna protect you from everything” 

“Doesn’t she have stitches?” Tommy asks and Buck looks down 

“Okay I’m moving a little bit” 

He shifts over so he’s more on your other side and against the bed now and you take a breath, being able to actually freaking breathe again 

“If you ever leave me again I’m going with you,” Buck says quietly as he hugs you. His head rests on your shoulder and you lean into him, your tear drops falling into his hair 

“I missed you” you whisper and he laughs, hiding his face in your shoulder as he sniffles 

“I missed you too Miss Stinkypants”

As soon as Maddie arrives and the three of you squish into the hospital bed, a mass text is sent out of a picture of you three, your arms around both of them saying that you’re awake and doing really well considering everything. 

You get well wishes and promises of visits from the Bennett’s and that one probie Eddie can’t remember the name of sends a picture of him and a few of the guys from the station all giving you thumbs up and big smiles 

Eddie has eaten absolutely everything given to him and you glare at him every time he accepts food and he just smiles back at you. You force him to go home, to clean up and rest, and he doesn’t go until Buck sets up your iPad and you FaceTime him. He’s not taking his eyes off you. Tommy offers to bring him home and back and he accepts 

“Why does everyone but me drive my Jeep now” Buck pouts as Tommy kisses his head when they leave and you shake Maddie’s arm aggressively

“Later!” Buck yells at you in embarrassment 

“You feeling better?” Tommy asks as he and Eddie are driving together, he’s muted but he’s watching you giggle through Buck reading to you and Maddie

“Yeah… kinda.. thanks for the food” 

“It was no problem”

“Thanks for everything actually…”Eddie says quietly, staring at the sweet smile on your face as Maddie puts her head on your shoulder 

“You took care of Buck when I couldn’t… I- I feel bad about that”

“Eddie, the love of your life was in a coma in the hospital…I don’t think anyone expected anything from you” Tommy looks over at him for a minute 

“But… Buck needed me, and I just… I feel like I let him down, how am I gonna make it up to him?” 

“Eddie” Tommy scoffs “Buck felt like he was letting you down. He couldn’t take care of you! Neither of you could do anything but worry about Y/N and pretend like you were fine for the other and it would have done you both some good had you just learned to accept help and had Buck learned he didn’t have to process his feelings alone” 

“He could never let me down!” 

Tommy stares at him for a minute, before looking back at the road and Eddie lets his head fall against the headrest

“And…and I could never let him down”

“Dumbasses”

“Hey!!” 

The Bennett’s are at Eddie’s house when they get there, they’d been taking care of the house and your little plants the entire time for you. Eliza and William hug Eddie so tightly that he can barely breathe. She has tears in her eyes as she spanks his butt, scolding him for not taking proper care of himself and he huffs, rubbing his butt as he walks away to go shower 

The Bennetts love Tommy and say he’s just what Buck needed, and that makes him blush as they fawn over him. He helps them tidy up around the kitchen, making Eliza sit down as he places a cup of tea in front of her. They talk for a little while, waiting for Eddie to get all cleaned up and he tells them about you and how you’re doing and everything the doctors said that he can remember 

“How are you doing?” Eliza asks, stirring her tea and Tommy smiles a little, looking down as he sighs and rubs the back of his neck 

“I don’t know. If I’m being honest. I was taking care of Buck for so long… making sure he would live… I wasn’t exactly taking care of myself as much as I should have” He chuckles quietly, looking up at the ceiling 

“Ahh I dared to be yelling at Eddie” 

A single tear slides down his cheek and he tries to wipe it away but there’s no use, they just keep coming 

“I’m so relieved, I kept telling Buck, over and over that she would wake up and- and I believed it you know? I swear I did” William puts his hand on Tommy’s arm and Eliza rubs his shoulder “But what if she didn’t? What would that have done to them?” 

“What would that have done to you?” William asks and he shakes his head 

“M-me?” 

“You care about her too,” Eliza says 

“I feel like I don’t have the right to, she barely knows me”

“Are you kidding me?” Eddie comes in, wiping his hair with a towel, it’s a little longer than he normally wears it and it’s starting to curl a bit. He can already see you going crazy over it 

“She adores you, Tommy! You have to know that. You had every right to be hurting along with us and you still do. If she heard you say that she’d kill you”

“Apparently she’s gonna be doing a lot of killing” William sips his coffee and Eliza nods 

“And I’ll be right there with her. It’s okay to have feelings boys, and to express those feelings to your family. It’s okay to be scared and to need support. That’s what we’re all here for because we love each other” 

“Oh did I mention Eddie told her he loved her” Tommy says to get the heat off himself and Eddie’s mouth drops open while William chokes on his tea

“You what?!” Eliza shouts 

It’s a couple weeks before you’re allowed to go home but once you do you’ve never been more relieved. Eddie carries you over the threshold, letting you stop to say hi to all your little plants before bringing you in 

“Oh boy did I miss you guys,” You say, petting the little succulents gently 

“Mrs. Bennett did so wonderful with them” You sigh and Eddie nods 

“Yeah they’re totally gonna hate you now”

You whack his chest and he smirks, leaning in to give you a little peck on the cheek. You pull him back, kissing him desperately and he grins wickedly 

“I seem to remember somebody telling me a little secret…” He whispers, his voice simmering with desire 

“Dr. Din said no sex” You scold him 

“It’s not sex if you don’t put it in…” He chuckles as he opens the door then kicks it closed behind him. 

“Surprise!!” 

You shriek and cling to Eddie as his head falls back laughing. Everyone is there, with a little welcome home banner and a messy-looking cake you know Buck poured his heart and soul into 

“Eddie Diaz!” You yell at him and he laughs harder, handing you off to Tommy before he drops you. Tommy sets you down on the ground, your legs are still a bit weak so he helps you walk over to the couch as Buck sets the cake on the coffee table in front of you 

“Hey pretty girl” he smiles and you ruffle his hair, bringing him in to kiss his head 

“Hi, Buck. Did you make this for me??” You ask as you clasp your hands together and he nods excitedly 

“Sure did!! Tommy and I made it!” 

It’s so pretty really, it’s got pink frosting with a messy white border and welcome home written in the center, which is honestly the most impressive part 

“He had six sugar highs practicing the writing” Tommy chuckles as he sits across from you, Eddie plops down on the couch next to you as you hug Buck tightly to your chest

“Thank you” you reach out for Tommy and he gets up again, hugging you too “And thank you too,” you tell him 

The party is wonderful, there are even a few presents for you and you’ve never felt more loved or safer. Eddie stays by your side, even pulling you into his lap to snuggle you and you bat at his hands to let you go so you can reach for more presents. The only time he lets you go is to go into the kitchen to get plates and Athena takes that time to follow him 

“You have to give her room to breathe, Eddie,” She says as she grabs the pack of bluey napkins 

“What do you mean?” He turns to her and she smiles lovingly at him, patting his arm 

“You need to give her space before she feels forced to take it… I know how happy you are to have her back, how happy she is to be back. But remember, it wasn’t as long as it was for her, for you… do you get what I’m saying?” 

Eddie sighs, leaning against the counter, and nods “Y-yeah I get it” 

She looks at him, taking the plates from him 

“I’m just saying don’t put her in your lap Eddie that’s all. Let her sit on her own” 

“I understand” 

No, he doesn’t. Okay, he does, But he doesn’t want to. 

They walk back into the party and Eddie sits down in another chair, acting like he did it to be able to cut the cake better, you look at him, and he knows you’re looking but he won’t look over 

Your eyes narrow 

“Eddie?” 

“Hm?” He passes a piece to Tommy, and then to Buck, and then Chim… 

“Kitchen. Now.” 

You struggle to get up and Buck helps you, supporting your hips. Eddie sighs and stands up, holding his arms out and you walk to him, but instead of picking you up like he loves to do he wraps his arm securely around your waist and helps you into the kitchen. 

You lean against the counter and he leans on the island 

“What’s up, babe?” He crosses his arms over his chest and you look at him, he sees your lip wobble and he stands up, putting his hands on your arms 

“Hey, hey-hey what’s wrong baby girl?” 

“Did I do something?” You ask, your voice wavering and he flinches back a little 

“What?! God no we were just sitting together what could you have done??”

“That’s what I’m wondering. A-are you just tired or something?” 

“What do you mean Y/N?”

“You didn’t put me back in your lap… you didn’t even sit by me” 

“I-I was just giving you s-space”

“Did I ask for it?” 

“N-no it’s just-“

“Eddie we were apart for five weeks… I missed out on five weeks of my life. W-we’re just saying I love you! We’re finally having our life together I-“

His hands cup your face as he kisses you, sliding down slowly to hold your neck for a second and you gasp against his lips, curling your fingers into his shirt 

“Athena suggested I give you space,” he says quickly and you look at him, pushing him away for a second 

“What do you want?” 

“I want to smother you until you can’t live without me like I can’t live without you” 

“Good, I want that too! Nice communication skills. Athena??” You call out and Eddie cringes a little 

“Put me on the counter,” you tell him and he does as you say, plopping you up there while she walks in. You want to be face to face with her for this. 

“You called?” 

“I’mmmm gonna see if Buck wants more cake” Eddie tries to run and you grab his shirt, yanking him back.

“Oh no you don’t. Look, I-“You sigh and run your hands over your head and Eddie rubs your back soothingly 

“I understand, that you’re just trying to help? And I appreciate it. You sort of? Gave Eddie good advice. But I did not ask him for space, I don’t want space right now. When I do, I will be the one to tell him, I will say hey Eddie I need some space and he’ll sit on the other side of the couch or go over to freaking Buck’s place. When we need advice we will come to you, honestly. But until then? Stay out of my relationship Mother, please.” 

Eddie keeps his head down awkwardly, biting his lip and wringing his hands. You know like when your friend gets in trouble in front of you? And you just gotta like stand there awkwardly 

“Eddie, Y/N, I apologize,” Athena says, though her voice is a bit short which is understandable “I shouldn’t be sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong… you’re right” She’s sincere about it as she rubs Eddie’s arm and gives you a hug and goes to leave the kitchen 

“I do love you,” you tell her, with a little pout on your lips now and she rolls her eyes at you, pursing her lips in a smile 

“I love you too honey, good job at standing up for yourself” 

Eddie lets out a deep sigh as she leaves “Oh my god that was the scariest thing I’ve ever been a part of” 

“I thought she was gonna kill you for telling me” 

“So did I!!”

You come back to the party, Eddie’s carrying you and your face is buried deep in his shoulder, just like it should be. There’s always a time for space, and you’ll let him know when you need it… but right now? This is all you want. 

Your friends.

Your family.

Your Eddie.

[0097linersb]

Meddle About Pt.2 (Last)

Pairings: Haechan x Reader / Jeno x Reader (Briefly Mentioned)

Genre: Smut

Summary:  Mark doesn’t think you or Haechan would have a problem with killing each other, not even bat an eye at it in fact. 

Word count: 11.2k ish

A/N: I love y´all sorry this took so long. ALSO! FOLLOW ME ON MY NEW TWITTER @wooyodefender we can chat there

Part 1

“I don´t get it, you guys already fucked so why isn´t the bet ove-” 

“We didn´t fuck,” You and Haechan corrected a confused Jisung at the same time, except the two of you had very different tones when delivering the message.  

“Are you just letting anyone watch now because I´m intere-” 

“I´m begging you to not finish that sentence,” Jeno interrupted Jaemin, rubbing his face harshly out of stress. You gently touched Jeno´s hands so he would stop stretching his skin, looking out for any future wrinkles on that pretty face. 

The chaotic scene definitely didn´t match your current environment - which consisted of a breakfast place, one of those where the cooks look like they haven´t showered in weeks, piles of waffles, bacon and the shittiest coffee you have ever tasted filling the tables.  The restaurant was full of families with loud annoying kids running around - Maybe Donghyuck could go play with them. It was hell, but hey, that was hangover brunch. 

Maybe it was the universe´s way of punishing you for allowing whatever happened with Donghyuck to... well, happen.  

“I´m just glad the two of you are finally getting along,” Mark tried changing the subject, smiling at his best friends who for the first time looked like they weren´t going to punch each other at any given moment.  

“We are absolutely not,” But you were more than happy to burst his bubble. “In fact, I have never been more disgusted by Donghyuck before.” 

“That´s not what you sa-” 

You interrupted Haechan with a fake smile, using your best customer service voice to not upset Mark so early in the morning as you stabbed your pancakes, “You can shut the fuck up now, thank you.” 

“So, he slept over and no sex?” Chenle teasingly pushed his friend as he laughed in his face. “You really have no game - ” 

“Speaking of which: Mark, please control your bitch, she made me sleep on the couch without a pillow or a blanket.”  

“I should have kicked you out to sleep on the street, you fucking -” 

“Ok, enough! It´s only Monday and I´m still too hungover to deal with you two,” Mark rolled his eyes, rubbing circles into his temples.  

“So, when are you fucking?” Jisung asked, returning to the original topic where his single neuron was still parked at. 

You groaned and buried your face in Jeno´s shoulder, the man gently patting your head to calm you down, “Can we all please stop reminding me of that?” 

“Probably this Saturday or the next,” Haechan ignored you. 

“Do we have it freaking scheduled? Ew.” 

“Why? Did you want me sooner?” The man teased you, an annoying fake pout on his face. “Awn, someone´s eager.” 

Jeno had to physically hold you back from smacking Haechan down after his comment, “I would rather bungee jump without the -” 

“What a cliché, Y/N. You can do better than that-” 

“Let´s not speak on the subject until then,” Mark cut you off, his tone was strict and final. 

★ 

Somehow, as if it was even possible, Haechan managed to become even more insufferable after the recent events. Firstly, because now that he knew you were slightly attracted to him – and also knew you were not happy about it - the man had massive leverage on your fights. Secondly, as previously stated, the thought of finding Haechan even remotely alluring had you wanting to take a nap on the highway during rush hour every time you caught yourself even considering his appearance, causing your stress levels to be significantly higher ever since. Lastly, if there is one thing Haechan has always been, is cocky, and now... Oh, now he was just unstoppable, and you hated yourself for thinking it was kind of hot.  

Kind of. 

But as equally annoying. 

Now, you caught yourself staring at the man, lost in thought, more often than you´d like to admit, and he managed to catch you every-single-fucking-time, sending you an annoying wink like he was hot shit.  

Which maybe he was. 

You didn´t understand how he could accept being into you so easily when you wanted to throw up at the thought that maybe you were excited that he was going to fuck you some time soon. Before everything that went down, the two of you would just simply offend each other to your hearts 'desires, but now there was a sudden shift in your dynamic as he started hitting on you nonstop, which somehow managed to annoy you more than when he would call you the most degrading offensive things he could think of - which he could probably be arrested for if anyone from outside your group heard a minute of your conversations.  

“You do know you´re going to die alone and miserable, right?” You asked him Thursday night, after only an hour and a half around him, figuring that was your time-around-Haechan limit.  

“I don´t think I will,” He smiled at you, a condescending tone to his voice as he leaned back against his seat. 

“Oh, I can assure you. No one can put up with you for long enough.” 

“Everyone puts up with me just fine. Have you ever considered maybe you´re the problem?”  

“As if- ” 

“It´s ok baby, I´ll fix your attitude when I fu-” 

“Can you two shut the fuck up and just never talk again?” Mark looked stressed as he reminded you and Haechan that you were not alone at the restaurant table. “I swear to God I´m going to start leaving one of you out from each group hang out.” 

“It would be the best thing you have ever done,” You assured Mark. 

“C´mon, I´d miss you,” Haechan sent you a flying kiss. “You´re nice to look at.” 

“I will stab you in the eyes to assure you never look at me aga-” 

“If any of you say another world I´ll drag you outside by the ear.” 

You did shut up after that because you honestly felt kind of bad for Mark, he genuinely loved the two of you and you´ve been making his life hell by not getting along. At the same time, it´s not like you haven´t tried! When you first met Haechan, after only 5 minutes with him, you were already sure you disliked the man; but you made an effort for Mark, you spent weeks trying to make yourself grow any positive feelings towards Haechan, or just anything that didn´t involve strong wishes of strangling him, but the man never returned any of your efforts, always wanting to hog Mark all to himself and bad mouth you to the man,  so you gave up - 

Wait.  

Donghyuck had really nice fucking hands. 

Which you unfortunately noticed as he places more meat on the grill occupying the center of the table between your friends after Mark made the two of you change seats so you´d sit far away from each other. His fingers were just somehow very delicate and clean but manly at the same time, he had big hands and veins appearing through his skin, his long fingers adorned by rings – Did he always wear rings? Because they were surely doing something to you.   

And with that thought process, you were suddenly reminded those fingers had been inside of you and you had to cross your legs to contain the very sudden and very fast pulsing that started between them. You let your forehead meet the table in a very loud thud as you groaned in frustration. Every day that passed made you despite Haechan a little bit more.  

When the weekend did come, your group´s chaotic schedule didn´t allow you a time window to complete the second part of the bet, although you did meet. It was a common friend´s birthday, a small get-together at his place to celebrate another year and even though there were suggestions that you could finish the bet that night, you were absolutely not about to get fucked on Doyoung´s bed. Also, Haechan had some things to do and had texted the group chat he would be late to the party – Chenle had informed you Haechan had a date and you prayed to all gods out there that he would bring the girl along so he would leave you alone for once.  

When he did show up though, he was in fact, unaccompanied. But the main point was that Lee Donghyuck, had dyed his hair a light shade of brown that had you wanting to swallow down your own fist.  Ok, maybe you could fuck on Doyoung´s bed after all. 

But Haechan´s leather jacket and rings stayed on during sex. 

What?  

No! 

Fuck, maybe you just needed to get laid, it has been a while. Would Jeno mind taking whatever you had a step further? 

“Hello friends,” Haechan greeted his friends before turning to you. “Hello stalker.” 

“What? Why stalker?” 

“I don´t know, the way you´re looking at me seems pretty obsessive,” He shrugged as he jumped over the couch to take a seat in front of you, who was sitting on the floor. 

“You´re delusional.” 

“It´s ok,” He assured you, accepting a drink from Doyoung who was walking around welcoming and giving everyone attention like a good host. “I like them crazy.” 

“Because that´s the only crowd you can pull.” 

“Let´s remember who was begging me just a week ago,” He winked at you before taking a sip from his glass, you along with all the boys around gagging at his comment. 

“I thought we were forbidden from talking about the subject,” Jaemin informed. 

“I did my best,” Mark sighed. “I give up on these two, just kill each other for all I care.” 

Haechan and you managed to prove once again Mark´s repulsive argument that the two of you were basically the same person when you replied by asking at the exact same time, “Who would you rather survived?” 

“Right now? I hope none of you.” 

“Cold,” You pouted at Mark before turning to the other man. “C´mon, Donghyuck and I are besties, soon he will even give me his computer and his most precious hoodie. If that isn´t friendship I don´t know what is.” 

“You really think you´ll win, huh?” At least Haechan looked amused.  

“I don´t know, did you get your date there today?” 

“What date?” 

“Chenle said you were on a date.” 

“He told me he had a date,” Chenle corrected. 

“You mean I hanged out with a friend so she could dye my hair?” 

“Same thing,” Chenle shrugged. “Didn´t you already fuck her before?” 

“Yeah, but that doesn´t make it a date. We were at her hair salon – Wait,” Haechan stopped mid-sentence to look at you. “Awn, are you jealous?” 

“Donghyuck, I´ll put this the nicest way that I can so Mark doesn't have a nervous breakdown: Why the hell would I be jealous?” 

“I don´t know, there´s really no reason for it. If you want me just say so and I´m all yours-” 

“Ok, I can´t take this anymore. I know Mark asked us to not talk about it and I was very happy to oblige but I have some matters to discuss,” You interrupted Haechan. 

“Yeah, whatever,” Mark rolled his eyes and shrugged. “Go for it, see if I care.” 

“Let´s make a rule that when we reach the 4 minutes mark and Donghyuck has already lost, we have to stop everything immediately.” 

“We can´t do that,” Jeno carefully informed you, already prepared for the murderous glare you sent his way. 

“And why not?” 

“Since we couldn´t bet on the same thing you two, we bet on how long Haechan would take,” Jaemin explained.  

Oh, right. You remember very clearly betting on 6 hours because it was simply not going to happen. Jaemin, who went for the 12 minutes mark went as far as asking you to have at least some faith on his friend.  

You could argue that now that you and Donghyuck had some form of sexual encounter, he already knew your body a bit better and that was kind of cheating, but then you reminded yourself that none of the guys knew what actually happened that night after the club and you´d rather leave it that way, so you simply sighed in defeat. It´s not like Haechan did much besides literally putting is fingers inside of you, so you guessed that didn´t really count either. 

“Cheer up, princess. You´re about to have the time of your life,” Haechan smirked at you and you answered him by chugging your drink in misery. 

For the rest of the night, you tried avoiding Donghyuck like the plague because if you thought about how his rings would feel around your neck one more time, you would be forced to punch the guy and cause a scene – You liked Doyoung enough to not do that on his birthday. It wasn´t a full-out house party, but there were enough people around to make it possible to stay far away from Haechan, at least for a while, until he decided he didn´t want to let you have a peaceful night after all. 

And so you drank. 

“Daydreaming about me?” He sat next to you on the couch. Jeno had left you alone for a single second to grab more beer for fuck´s sake. 

“You wish.” 

“I do, in fact.” 

“Can´t you find literally any other girl to torment?” 

“But it´s so fun annoying you, though,” He smiled. “You look hot when you´re mad.” 

“Take your degradation kink elsewhere, thank you very much.” 

“Will do, wanna come with?” 

“Are you serious right now?” 

“C´mon. We don´t have to fuck, you´ve been staring at my thighs the whole night, you could just ride them-” 

“Oh my god, leave me alone.” 

“Well, let me tell you something,” He informed before turning his body in your direction so that he could lower his voice, suddenly deep against your ear. “I appreciate your act, it´s cute, really. But there´s no one looking. If we go somewhere, we can come back, and no one would know a thing. You could stop pretending you haven´t been clenching at the thought of my fingers the whole week and I could do all the fun things I´ve been thinking about-” 

You could sense his smirk at the way your body violently twitched. It was only once, but it was one time too many.  

“Oh. Wanna know what things?” He teased. 

You could just stand up and leave. But you didn´t really want to? 

 So you simply crossed your legs and took a deep breath to try and sort your mind out. 

His chuckle hit the sensitive skin on your neck, “I´ll take that as a yes.” 

And then his palm found your thigh once again, holding it from the inside like it was his, “I know we can´t actually fuck, but I think there are things that can be even more fun, don´t you? You know what I can´t stop thinking about ever since I´ve seen your pretty little pussy? How much I want to eat you out. You sound so good, I´d love nothing more than have you sitting on my face for hours-” 

You took another shaky breath, nails digging deep into your own right thigh, “Donghyuck.” 

“Yes?” 

“I will go to the kitchen get another drink and you will let me.” 

He laughed once again but retrieved his hand from your body, “You know where to find me.” 

And unfortunately, you did, because later, after a few more drinks and 1 very frustrating hour of trying to focus on anything else other than your panties sticking to your skin, you found yourself grabbing Donghyuck´s arm to get his attention while he talked to some guys you didn´t know. 

“Yes, princess?” 

You ignored the pet name and everyone´s eyes on you for your own sake, “Can you please follow me?” 

His cocky smile had you immediately regretting your impulsive choices, “Always.” 

You groaned but accepted when he grabbed your hand and motioned for you to lead the way, which you did, practically running up the stairs so none of your friends would see you before getting the two of you inside a bathroom and locking the door.  

“What do you want?” He amusedly raised his eyebrow at you, his body leaning against the bathroom sink now that you were alone and the music wasn´t so loud. 

“Don´t pretend to be dense,” You called him out before pulling him down by his shirt so you could smash your lips together.  

He smirked into the kiss before getting into it, wasting no time pressing you against the bathroom door as his tongue entered your mouth to match your desperation. When his hands found your hips to pull you closer, a moan escaped your lips and he groaned, his grip on you tightening enough to bruise your skin. 

Your hands in turn found their way around his neck, pulling harshly on his hair so he would get the message and just do something before you regretted bringing him here. You didn´t need foreplay this time, you already had hours of your very creative mind flashing images and trying to drive you crazy, all you needed was someone´s fingers inside of you  – And maybe they had to be Haechan´s. 

Thankfully, Donghyuck somehow got the message and pulled your thighs up around his waist, so he could carry you over to the sink as you two practically devoured each other, like air wasn´t something necessary for human survival, but his lips sure were. You used your legs wrapped around him to grind his crotch against yours and he groaned at you, “Don´t play dirty.” 

“Then do something.” 

“What do you want?” 

“You know what I want.” 

“Do I?” He played dumb, suddenly stepping away from you like that was just perfect timing to be a fucking little tease. “I can go grab you a drink if that´s what you mean-” 

“Good luck with that boner out there.” 

“Yeah, gonna find someone I can actually fuck.” 

“Oh my god, just fucking finger me please,” You groaned in surrender, letting your head hit the mirror behind you in frustration. 

The biggest smirk filled his face as he closed the distance between you in satisfaction once again, eyes shining in victory, “That´s what I like to hear. Good girl.” 

“Don´t be condescending.” 

“C´mon, I know you like it,” He teased before his lips met yours once again. 

He bit your bottom lip to be annoying before licking inside your mouth so you would let him do his thing – And since you had already thrown your dignity out the window an hour ago on Doyoung´s very elegant couch, you just let him. The man must have gathered how desperate you were from the way you were kissing him back, because he simply found your panties under your skirt and slid them right off with no ceremony, before his palms were pulling your thighs open and he found his place in between them. 

“Hand,” He ordered. 

For once, his voice didn´t sound like he was teasing you or playing around. It was just a plain order looming over you and you liked it, being able to forget who you were and who was standing in between your legs, your hand raising in front of him without even knowing what for. You watched in shock as he took two of his rings out and put them on your finger, before moving to the next one. 

“Leave them on,” You quietly pleaded, kind of ashamed of yourself for liking the idea and not believing you actually said that out loud. It just escaped.  

He smiled at your tone, “I´d love to, but these would really hurt.” 

“Oh.” 

“It´s ok, I´ll leave the ones on the other hand,” Haechan assured as he finished putting all his rings on you and his mouth met yours once again. 

You always kind of expected that for a kiss to be good and effective, it needed to have a build-up, to start slow and make its way up – But Donghyuck had a way of reminding whoever he was kissing of how needy he made them in just a few seconds. His mouth was working so good against yours that it was almost a pity that you had to break the kiss to gasp as you felt two of his fingers gathering slick around your slit and when he felt like his fingers were lubricated enough, he slowly pushed them inside of you, you had to close your eyes and let your head meet the mirror again to process the feelings. 

You see? He didn´t even have to do much and you were already so worked up, clenching around his fingers and hands holding harshly onto the sink. You were honestly scared of the power Donghyuck had over you and what he would do if he ever found it out.  

When you opened your eyes, Haechan was watching your face attentively before moving his fingers slowly. He looked so fucking good with his new hair and dark eyes that even this rhythm to get you used to being filled got you biting on your bottom lip to keep your whines inside.  

He noticed that and smirked, “C´mere,” 

And so you complied, lips chasing his until your tongues met once again. 

You had a theory that it´s not that Donghyuck was good in bed, you were just really horny. Your thought process made a lot of sense considering he never actually did anything to you besides looking hot while you actually did all the job – But you could throw your whole theory in the trash next to the sink once Haechan sped up his fingers. 

You bit his lip to keep yourself grounded at the fact that the man in between your legs actually knew what he was doing and did it really well. 

Shockers. 

And you meant well enough that if he fucked anything like he fingered you, you were kind of screwed (at least when it came to the bet). 

“It´s loud outside, don´t worry,” He smiled once you let go of his lip, noticing you were having a hard time keeping yourself together  - and you really tried pretending he didn´t have the perfect rhythm, that his fingers weren´t hitting all the perfect spots, that his kisses down your neck as you caught your breath weren´t doing wonders for you, but it was a really hard task considering he was in fact making you feel all sorts of new things in this short amount of time. 

When Haechan felt like you still weren´t letting yourself go, he bit harshly on the side of your neck and you couldn´t force inside the gasp that left your mouth. 

“You know I won´t let you cum until I´m satisfied, stop being stubborn.” 

“M-maybe you´re just not doing a-ah- good job.” 

“Oh, sorry. My bad,” He apologized, but the smirk on his face, once he stood straight, didn´t match his tone nor his words. Suddenly his thumb was on your clit, drawing circles as he pumped his two other fingers inside and you almost came undone at the way he cockily winked at you when a loud moan escaped your lips.  

“Oh, fuck-” 

“Yeah, that´s more like it.” 

“Just shut u-up,” You groaned as your nails found his shoulder, digging into his skin to try and keep yourself grounded as he sped up. You honestly didn´t feel like you would last very long under his ministrations and that just wouldn´t do.  

“Want me to stop?” 

“God- No!” 

“Awn, look who´s finally not being a bitch.” 

“Donghyuck, I swear to god-” 

“What? What will you do, huh? Cum around my fingers? Threatening. Maybe next time do it on my tongue.” 

You really didn´t need the imagery right now.  

You closed your eyes and your forehead met his chest as you felt your high approaching, trying to conjure all your willpower to not cum and give Donghyuck the satisfaction of doing it so fast, but it was no use. Haechan had some kind of magic fingers and when his free hand found your neck and you could feel the cool rings pressed against your skin, along with his lips brushing against your open ones that just couldn´t keep quiet, you were done for. 

Your whole body trembled as your cursed during the longest and hardest orgasm of your life, breaths mixed together. 

Once you regained your sanity, you just had to suck Haechan off in return after that. 

 It was good manners after all. 

★ 

You would be indeed lying if you said the bathroom incident didn´t occur more than once. Thankfully, you only allowed it to happen 3 times other than that one – 3 was a good number, you could forgive yourself for slipping 3 times. You could even argue that since he had already fingered you once, if he did it once or twenty times, it was the same thing, so it was not like it was going to impact on the bet.  

Yeah, you knew it was bullshit but who cares. 

The first time it happened, just like at the party, you were drunk. It was during trivia night, Donghyuck´s team was winning, and you were very unhappy about it. It´s not your fault that Mark was stupid and ended up on your team! By the time you got to the final questions, you were practically raging and somehow managed to beat them after getting 4 questions right in a row (once you got Mark distracted with something on your phone). After managing to rub your win in Haechan´s face in every way known to mankind, he got annoyed enough to drag you to the bar´s bathroom and “get you to shut up” as he so kindly put it. 

The second time you couldn´t use alcohol as an excuse, although you could say you were high on the adrenaline of playing ranked matches online. It happened when you and Donghyuck were playing Valorant and after you cursed at him for the 30th time about sucking over the call, he finally snapped and told you to come say it to his face – Which you did, because he really did suck. What happened once you were in his house, in his room, was completely unexpected. No one could have guessed he would end up fingering you as you played another ranked match on your account, right? 

The third time would have looked strangely like a 90´s parent trap kind of movie if you weren´t genuinely annoyed by the situation. You had invited Mark to watch the new horror movie at the cinema, Mark had agreed. Donghyuck had also invited Mark to watch the new horror movie at the cinema, Mark had agreed. Mark had also thought it was a good idea to not show up and not let either of you know about the other, resulting in a very angry surprise meeting at the movie theater´s door. 

“I´ll just sit very far from you,” Haechan had groaned. 

“Don´t be ridiculous,” You rolled your eyes, grabbing his arm and practically dragging him to your seats. 

“Awn, you´re scared. Aren´t you?” He teased once you were sitting down, finally processing why you weren´t putting the many rows of distance between you two yourself. 

“Yeah, very much. Now be quiet.” 

“I will have to inform you I am scared too.” 

“Oh, that´s just great. Do you even have anything to offer in life at this point?” 

It was kind of expected that he would finger you during the movie after that. 

★ 

“And who the fuck is that?” Donghyuck asked dumbfounded after you appeared in front of him, arm laced with another man´s. He earned an elbow on the ribs by Jaemin for his comment. 

You rolled your eyes and apologized to your date before turning back to the very rude person in front of you once San reassured everything was ok, “Donghyuck, I know you were raised by animals or something, but here in the city we normally greet people when we see them.” 

Haechan´s reaction must have been genuine shock because he was quick to apologize and give his hand out for San to shake as he introduced himself, even if he didn´t look anywhere close to happy.  

“Oh, so this is San,” Donghyuck raised his eyebrows in entertainment.  

Your date gave you the cutest smile once he heard those words, “You talked about me?” 

You were not about to let Haechan ruin this for you and tell San that all you said about the man was that he didn´t fuck you and that was the exact moment that resulted in the stupid bet that will end up with the man in front of you fucking you instead – So you simply smiled at San, “Of course.” 

“I didn´t know we could bring dates,” Donghyuck sent you a pointed look. 

“You´re supposed to bring dates to these kinds of things, Hyuck. I´m sorry you couldn´t find anyone to put up with you.” 

“Did your boytoy bring anyone?” He raised an eyebrow at you. 

Both you and San gave him a confused look, not sure who he was talking about. Jaemin rolled his eyes and grabbed his arm to drag him away but he didn´t budge. 

“Jeno,” Donghyuck clarified.  

Oh, you see what he was doing. 

And you were not about to give him the satisfaction. 

“Jeno brought Karina,” You informed calmly, not playing his game. “As expected.” 

“I see,” Haechan nodded before turning to your date. “Good luck filling the position then.” 

You couldn´t even say you were surprised, of course he couldn´t let you have anything. 

“Enjoy the party, Donghyuck,” You rolled your eyes before dragging San as far as possible. 

“Well, that was something,” Your date tried to break the ice when he saw you breathing out in annoyance. 

“I´m so sorry,” You sighed, calling over the waiter with the champagne tray. “Donghyuck´s insufferable.”  

“Well, now I have to step up my game to fit the boytoy job description,” He smiled at you, getting two glasses from the tray and handing one to you.  

“I´m sorry about that too,” You smiled in gratitude over the rim of the glass.  

“It´s ok, it´s a position I´m more than happy to fill. Specially if it will make your friend even more jealous.” 

“Oh, don´t worry. It´s not like that, I can assure you. He simply has something against my happiness, which is ok, because I also have something against his.” 

“Yeah, I don´t think we´re close enough for me to comment on that so cheers,” He laughed, raising his glass in your direction. 

You clinked glasses and laughed too; you loved a self-aware king.  

Turns out San was a really great guy and you were happy you had invited him to be your plus one to this fancy party thing. He complimented your dress and makeup every hour, he got you new drinks whenever the ice on the ones you were holding started melting too much, he got along with your friends, he looked absolutely stunning and most importantly, he kept you entertained. He also didn´t back down whenever you were at the table with the whole group and Haechan tried teasing him, politely putting the man back in his place – which really, was more attractive than anything.  

“Things going well, huh?” Jeno asked as you two met at the bar. San was in the middle of an excited discussion about music with Jisung, so you offered to get the drinks this time. 

“Very, actually.” 

“Think things are finally going to escalate tonight or are we thinking boyfriend?” The man teased. See? He could tease you just fine because you knew he actually cared.  

“We still haven´t even kissed, so I don´t really think I´m about to get railed,” You laughed, lowering your voice a bit so the bartender and people around wouldn´t hear your vulgar words as you waited for the drinks.  

“Well, you can always call Haechan over to complete the bet.” 

“I´m not that desperate.” 

“By the way he looks like he´s going to murder San anytime, I think he is. Always knew all this tension between you two had to be something more.” 

“Yeah, I wouldn´t dwell too much on it. Sometimes people just don´t like each other, Donghyuck´s just bothered he´s not the center of attention tonight.” 

“He´s bothered he´s not the center of your attention.” 

“Guess I´ve spoiled him too much, huh? How´s Karina, anyway?” 

“Still working on wooing her.” 

“You wooed her the first time you talked to her, Jeno. Don´t worry, she wouldn´t be here if it wasn´t the case.” 

“Well, since it didn´t work on you my game has been a little off balanced.”  

You laughed at his teasing but didn´t have time to reply as the bartender came back with your two drinks and Jeno´s. The two of you thanked the man and made your way back to the table and Jeno was right, Haechan did look like he wanted to murder San. Once his staring was getting too much, you kicked him under the table and he simply gave you an annoyed look before turning his attention back to your date, who was oblivious to the stares. Or at least pretended to be. 

Tired of Donghyuck´s attitude, you asked San if he wanted to dance and he was more than excited to stand up and offer you his hand like a real gentleman, before leading the way to the dancefloor. Sadly for you, the fancy ballroom didn´t offer any ass shaking music, but San being the dancer he was, had no trouble leading you in his arms. 

“I do have to say things are spinning a bit,” You laughed, commenting on your many drinks. 

“Yeah, I think that last Whiskey was a bit too much. Are there really that many chandeliers or am I seeing things doubled?” 

“I think both.” 

★ 

As expected, San didn´t rail you that night. But he did kiss you goodnight once he dropped you off at home and your heart was happy enough with that.  

Haechan also ignored you the week following the gala, you even tried sending him an invitation on Valorant when you saw he was online on Saturday but he never answered, same when you sent him a slightly offensive meme on Whatsapp, expecting him to offend you back.  

Well, guess you were living the dream.  

When the next weekend came around with no acknowledgment from Haechan, you figured he finally had enough of you and was over with your little frenemies routine, meaning the bet was also over. You were fine with that. What you weren´t fine with was with the fact that he got you used to having the best fucking orgasms of your life and now you were left high and dry.  

Life also wasn´t as much fun when you didn´t have anyone to try and beat at everything.  

So with no thoughts in mind, you put on your hottest outfit for group outing that night, even going as far as putting on the skirt Haechan always teased you about because you knew he liked it too much. You kind of expected him to not show up after icing you out for weeks, but there he was when you got to Jaemin´s house and he simply treated you as if absolutely nothing had happened. 

“Awn, wore this skirt for me?” He asked as soon as you sat down next to him on the couch.  

You were so surprised at him suddenly referring to you after weeks, that your eyes were wide when you asked, “You talking to me now?” 

“I was never not talking to you.” 

“Donghyuck, of course you were.” 

“Was not.” 

“Was too.” 

“Yeah?” He entertained; his face petulant. “And since when am I supposedly ignoring you?” 

“Since the gala with San, you-” 

“Oh, I see. You want me to be jealous so you´re projecting.” 

“That´s not- What in the gaslighting?” 

“Don´t worry, princess. I wasn´t ignoring you, was just busy.” 

“I saw you online when I was playing Valorant.” 

“Yeah, I saw your invitation. But you see, you´re just really bad and I was playing with the guys from college.”  

“So you two talking again?” Jaemin interrupted. 

“See?” You told Donghyuck as you pointed to your other friend to prove your point, downing a shot of tequila as frustration started to build up on you. 

“Just shut up and drink,” He rolled his eyes against his own shot glass. 

Well, guess you could say things were normal after all. 

“So, the bet,” Jisung brought up and everyone around the table groaned. “What? It was supposed to end like weeks ago, I kind of impulsively bought tickets to a Monster Truck show counting on that money!” 

“As if you would win,” Chenle attacked. “But he´s right, we really need to get this over with.” 

“We don´t need to do anything. Very easy for you to say when you´re involved nowhere near the actual completion of the bet.” 

“I could fuck you to end this already,” Chenle shrugged.  

“We´re doing it tonight, just shut the fuck up,” Donghyuck groaned, downing another shot of tequila. Yeah, he looked even more frustrated than you. 

“And how are we going to do this when you´re not even talking to me?” 

“Are you serious right now?” He looked murderously at you bringing the topic up again and you became small under his eyes. Since he started hitting on you, Haechan had stopped actually being rude and insulting you and you kind of missed him feeding your ego. Maybe you complained enough he stopped, maybe he didn´t want to fuck you that badly anymore -  

“Wait, are you dating the girl from the salon?” You asked when the possibility crossed your mind. “Because we´re not fucking if you´re da-” 

“What?” He looked at you like you were the world´s most stupid person. “Why would I- Oh, wait, so the bet is off in case one of us starts dating?” 

“Obviously?” 

“Guess you´ll have to tell your new boytoy you just lost your friends a lot of money.” 

“What? We´re not dating, we´re just – Oh, so you are jealous.” 

“I´m disappointed.” 

“At what?” You asked in disbelief, already swallowing another shot. You noticed Mark tried to say something, maybe stop the two of you from starting a fight, but you also noticed how he shut himself up before saying anything.  

“At how easy you just drop everything to get with some dude. I thought you were a worthy opponent -” 

“Donghyuck, this isn´t a game.” 

“No, this is a bet.” 

“Oh my god, just admit you have a star problem or something. Can´t handle not being the center of attention for a night? Is it too much for you? Go cry about it and leave everyone alone.” 

“Guys-” It was Jeno who tried this time but you were quick to shush him. 

“Not you acting like you didn´t came running the second I wasn´t down your neck.” 

“So you were ignoring me!” 

 "Yes I was fucking ignoring you. I don´t like you, I guessed that was established.” 

Wow. 

Yeah, you knew that. But it kind of stung now. 

A bit. 

“Is this some kind of foreplay?” Chenle asked. 

“Ask Y/N, I bet she´s getting off on this,” Haechan rolled his eyes, another shot finding its way down his throat.  

“Oh my god, chill. What got your panties in a twist?” You rolled your eyes too, more Tequila passing your lips because you couldn´t let Haechan drink more than you. 

“I can´t even tell if they´re really fighting or not anymore,” Mark raised his hand in defeat, a deep sigh leaving his lips.  

“You´re the one suddenly all sensitive. Homeboy didn´t fuck you good or are you just pmsing?” 

“You know what? Let´s go to the room and end this right now so I don´t have to put up with you ever again,” You half-suggested half-ordered. 

 No one said a word after that, noticing how Haechan was actually really mad. Jaemin didn´t even whine about you two using his room as you had expected he would as his friend stood up and made his way down the hall.  

“Wish me luck,” You rolled your eyes before downing another shot and following Donghyuck. 

When you got to Jaemin´s room, Haechan was already inside, so you quietly entered and closed the door behind you. You were thankful for Jaemin´s colorful lights because the blue room got you relatively calmer than you would be if you had to face the man in front of you in a normally lit room. 

“We´re not fucking until we have an adult conversation for once,” You informed, leaning your body against the door. 

“There´s nothing to talk about.” 

“Of course there is.” 

“I know we have this playing around thing but I´m really not in the mood.” 

“And I´m not in the mood to be fucked like this, so what´s wrong?” 

“Why do you need something to be wrong? It´s not like we ever treated each other well.” 

“Yeah, but you kind of did for the past weeks -” 

“Yeah, because I wanted to fuck you. Why? Did the princess fall in love?” Haechan gave you a fake pout. “I said you convinced me you were hot enough to fuck, not to date.” 

“I can assure you that´s not the case. I just don´t enjoy this whole childish act, we never liked each other but you don´t need to suddenly be a bitch about it.” 

“Guess I learned from the best.” 

“So you want to not fuck me anymore and call off the bet? Is that it?” 

“I guess. It wouldn´t really be fair now that we had someone else meddling in, would it?” 

“What the fuck are you even talking about, Donghyuck?”  

“I just wasn´t aware we were allowed to have sex with anyone else during the duration of the bet -” 

“Oh my god, you´re still talking about San – Oh. – Oh! Hold on! You´re mad because you were counting on me to be untouched and desperate or something so you could win the bet!” 

“Dear lord. I had you moaning like a whore around my fucking fingers and you think I need to count on something to get you anywhere? You really are stupid.” 

“Since you suddenly care about the integrity of this bet so much I will let you know that San hasn´t fucked me yet, so that´s all cleared. Now, if you could be a dear and go inform everyone you want to cancel everything so I can in fact go get railed by said man, I´d be really happy.” 

He answered everything you said by crossing his arms and scoffing, “As if.” 

“Oh I see how it is, wanna up the bet? See who gets me there faster? I bet my League account with all the legendary skins that San can beat you.” 

Well, that was enough to get Haechan practically throwing you against the door, a loud bang echoing through the apartment. You knew playing with his competitive nature would work. 

“Are you really that desperate for me to fuck you that you´re trying to get on my nerves?” He asked, voice more like a growl and face mere inches apart from yours. 

“You´re not the only attention whore in town,” you teased.  

“I told you all you had to do was ask, baby,” He smirked before smashing his lips into yours. 

Excited that this was finally happening and with the few shots in your system, you were more than happy to return the enthusiasm, hands now finding their familiar place in his hair as he pressed you harder against the door. As always, Haechan´s lips had you whining for more in no time, his hand expertly exploring your body as if you had no more time left in the world.  

Oh, right.  

The bet. 

“Get on the bed,” He rasped out after he felt you starting to grind against him.  

“You´re making me do all the work?” You teased, just wanting to be annoying. 

He stopped and stared you down in silence, thumb finding its way to your lips as he watched your face lost deep in thoughts, something in his eyes started to crumble down and it got your anxiety to start coming out. Not wanting to give him the time to process whatever he was trying to, your mouth engulfed his finger as you sucked on it. A smirk filled your face as you saw the way Haechan´s jaw clenched at the action, so you gently bit his thumb before letting it go. At least your distraction plan seemed to work out. 

“Honestly, fuck you,” the man sighed but his words had no bite as his lips found yours once again. You were so distracted by his tongue inside your mouth that you almost jumped when you felt him slowly slide the straps of your top down your shoulders. The sudden change of speed getting your brain to malfunction.  

Now, you were not generally sensitive around your boobs but there was just something that happened to you whenever it was Haechan touching your skin that had your back arching when his fingers accidentally brushed against your nipples when he was dragging your top down, goosebumps erupted up your body in a single second. A weak moan left your lips at the surprising feeling and the man answered it by rubbing the pad of his thumb over your right nipple, his tongue in your mouth not doing much to keep your noises inside at the way your core violently clenched around nothing.  

Donghyuck´s lips left yours to find their place on your neck, where he left wet hot kisses while you did your best to not squirm under him. The man made his way down your shoulders, to your collarbones, the top of your boobs until his soft lips found your nipples too - He looked up at you so smugly once you hissed at the sensation of his tongue circling the left one.   

You kind of found a new appreciation for his insufferable cocky face. 

“The timer,” You managed to breathe out, voice shaky.  

“Go ahead baby, I trust you with that chore.” 

An annoyed whine left your lips because honestly, you were not in the right headspace to be given any tasks - But as Donghyuck´s fingers dug into your waist to hold you still as he left marks on your boobs, you managed to get your trembling hand inside your pocket and get your phone out.  

“Don´t start it until I tell you to,” He ordered, looking up at you before dropping down to his knees and honestly, the view was enough to keep you from arguing. He could win the bet for all you cared. 

The man in front of you unbuttoned your shorts and gently pulled them down your legs, kissing up your thighs when he made his way back up. Your whole body was shivering as he approached where you were pulsing and you violently shook as he left a kiss right on your center over your lacy panties, his hot breath against your wet skin forcing a moan out of you.  

You hated that your body could simply not react normally to this man.  

Your knuckles were white from gripping your phone so tightly as he licked and kissed you slowly over your panties like he had nothing else to do for the rest of his life, it was hard keeping your moans inside and he didn´t even really touch you yet.  

“Donghyuck-”  

“Yes?” His eyes met yours from between your legs and you seriously wanted to scream.  

“Do something, please,” Your voice sounded so broken. 

The man chuckled at the way you dropped your attitude so fast, “Well, since you asked so prettily.” 

His fingers found the seat of your underwear, dragging it to the side as his face approached your core once again, now with nothing in the way. 

“I´ve been wanting to do this for a long time.” 

“Then fucking get to it,” You whined, the back of your head hitting the door in frustration. You hadn´t completely forgotten the bet was supposed to include no foreplay, but you were so desperate to feel his mouth on you that you could make an exception.  

Another low chuckle left his mouth before he got straight into work. If you thought his fingers were magic, you didn´t even know how to begin describing his lips.  

“Oh my fucking god,” You moaned, not even sure you had said it out loud or the words were just repeating themselves over and over inside your head. 

He kissed your clit, sucked on it and his tongue lavished you and all you could do was try your best to hold your sounds in because your friends were right outside and they didn´t deserve the show. Your free hand found its place tangled in Haechan´s hair and the whimper he let out at the way you tugged on it got you almost reaching the edge. 

He fucking whimpered.  

A high whiny breathy groan. 

That man was going to be de death of you. 

You were about to stop him, push him away because you were already so close, but he could probably already guess that by the way your body was twitching and you were pulling harder on his hair, so he leaned away after a final chaste kiss to your clit. He cleaned his face with the back of his hand as he looked up at you, appreciating the view of your semi-wrecked form. 

Donghyuck on his knees was such a pretty sight.  

“Get on the bed and start the timer.” 

Your legs were wobbly but you obeyed this time, eager to finally get fucked -  

Yeah, you were excited to be fucked by Donghyuck, so what? It was about time you accepted defeat and indulged a bit in your sexual taboos - Haechan himself being most of them.  

You sat down on the edge of the bed, not trusting your voice to ask how he wanted you. Also, this was his part of the bet, he would have to work for it for all you cared. You pressed START on the timer and tossed your phone away somewhere under the pillows, watching as the man approached you.  

“It´s annoying,” He said once he stood between your legs, his hand holding your jaw to tip your head up so you were forced to look him in the eyes. 

“What is?” 

“How hot you are.” 

“The timer is running.” 

“And?” 

“Hyuck-” 

“Are you going to start dating San?” 

“Do you really wanna talk about this now? Donghyuck, why-” 

“Maybe I really was jealous.” 

“What?” 

“I didn´t like seeing you with him. At the time I blamed my ego or whatever, but now thinking about you with him it´s making me mad - I mean, maybe it is my ego.” 

“Are you thinking about another man when you´re supposed to be fucking me?” 

“Can you shut up for a second?” 

“Is this your idea of a confession?” 

“No, Y/N. I´m not saying I´m in love with you, I´m just saying I realized I was jealous and I´m not sure why.” 

“Ok, can you figure that out after you finish fucking me, please?” 

“Eager?” 

“Yes, actually.” 

“I´m so hard.” 

“A romantic,” You roll your eyes. 

“No, it´s just- You have a weird effect on me.” 

“I- I know. I feel it too.” 

“Nah, I´m just that good.” 

“Ok, I take it back.” 

“I´m clearly joking.” 

“You´re clearly being annoying.” 

“Shut up.” 

“Come do it.” 

And so he did. Donghyuck bent over and his lips found yours once again as he gently pushed you back down onto the mattress and climbed on top of you. You wasted no time wrapping your hands around his neck to try and pull him impossibly closer, your fingers once again tangling themselves into the hair in the back of his neck and tugging at them. The way his hips automatically rutted against yours in reaction made your vision blurry. Man was not kidding when he said he was really hard.  

“Like hair pulling, huh?” You teased once the two of you let go of each other to try and catch your breath for a second.  

“You should try and choke me a bit if you´re curious,” He winked at you playfully.  

“You for real?” You really tried teasing him, but you´re the one who ended up choking around nothing and looking at him like he hung up all of the starts in the sky himself. 

He didn´t answer you, his lips catching yours as his hands found the hem of your panties, pulling them down your legs the best he could without breaking the kiss, which was not hard considering you were eager to help.  Ha, who would have guessed. 

You felt Donghyuck fitting himself between your legs once again, his whole weight supported by his left hand as he snaked his right hand in between your bodies. You felt his fingers circling your clit and you whined, trying to push him away, “Hyuck, no. I´m already clo-” 

“Just let me stretch you out a bit,” He explained, his same finger now finding its way inside you. Now, that´s something you had already experienced a few times before, but every time Haechan had his fingers slowly pumping inside of you, it felt like the first time all over again.  

“Oh, dear lord,” You whined, trying to hold back your orgasm because that would be simply humiliating.  

“I could literally cum just because of the way you keep clenching around my finger.” 

“I´m close-”  

“I know, baby. I can feel it. But you can hold it in for me, right? I want you to cum on my cock.” 

“Fuck. Donghyuck-” 

“Yes, princess?” 

“If you don´t add another finger right now-” 

“Anything you ask,” He smiled down at you, complying with your request - which you immediately regretted because if one of his fingers was already too much, you were definitely not prepared for two. Your nails dug into the skin of his arms without you even realizing, but you needed something to ground yourself. He was fingering you so slowly and yet you wanted to scream at how good the drag along your walls felt.  

When he judged you were ready, he retracted his fingers and you breathed out in relief, finally not having to use your full mental capacity to focus on not cumming.  

“We should go on a date sometime,” He stated in a matter-of-fact tone, like you were discussing the weather on a nice little walk. 

“Lee Donghyuck, what are you-” It was hard talking when you were still trying to catch your breath.  

“Indulge me.” 

“You´re not helping yourself win the bet.” 

“I don´t give a fuck about the bet, I´m already happy proving you wrong.” 

“And how are you doing that?” You knew the answer to that question, but you wanted to hear him say it.  

“Because baby,” He paused to give you a soft kiss on the lips, " this exact moment, we´re chatting to give you a break since you can´t even handle being fucked just from my fingers inside of you.”  

Touché. 

Maybe you loved his voice, especially when saying lewd things.  

“You´re not so much better,” You rolled your eyes, squeezing the bulge in his pants and earning a groan in response. “Now, can you please undress?” 

“Undress? How fancy,” He laughed, but his hands were already undoing his belt. 

“Do you always talk this much during sex? Maybe we should gag you.” 

“Careful with your promises, I might come demand their fulfillment.”  

“Just fuck me, Donghyuck.” 

“Never wanted anything more,” He smirked after he finished taking his pants off. 

He kissed you once again, but you were quick to break away, sitting up to pull at the hem of his shirt and he complied, raising his arms so you could take it off.  You pulled Haechan closer, kissing down his neck and ecstatic with the little whines he let out, especially as you started lowering the kisses to his chest. His skin felt burning hot against your lips and you wanted to stay there forever.  

It came as a surprise when he grabbed onto your waist and manhandled you, spinning you around, so you were now with your back pressed to his chest. His hand found your neck to hold your head as he chuckled darkly right against your ear, “I appreciate the attempt, but today I´m in charge.” 

You moaned as he used his knee to force your legs open, his hand leaving your throat to push your back down the mattress. You didn´t even have time to react or support yourself with your arms, your left cheek meeting the bed sheets as you felt the tip of his cock against your entrance.  

You pushed your hips back without even realizing, just wanting Donghyuck inside of you once and for all. But to no one´s surprise, it was just teasing you that he wanted. 

“You´re so fucking wet,” He marveled, rubbing his tip up and down your folds. “Just like you always are for me.” 

You wanted to retort, but you also wanted his dick inside of you – today, preferably. So you just whined impatiently and arched your hips a bit more, “Donghyuck!” 

“Beg.” 

“No.” 

“I want to hear the high oh mighty miss I´m-always-right begging for me to fuck her.” 

“Please.” 

“Not good enough.” 

“Donghyuck, please fuck me. You won ok? I need you. I don´t care. Just please, fuck me,” You could seriously cry.  

Maybe you weren´t used to not getting things your way. 

“Tell me you´re mine.” 

“Am I?” 

“Yes, but I need you to know it.” 

“Fuck me well and I might be.” 

“Good answer.” 

You could tell he was smirking as he finally slid inside of you.  

“Oh god,” You moaned. You had been waiting for this for months! 

“You can call me Haechan.” 

“You´re not as funny as you think you are,” You breathed out, your hands gripping onto the bed sheets as he waited for you to adjust for a second.  

“Maybe, but I am about to give you the fuck of your life.” 

“Why are you still talki-” 

Donghyuck didn´t let you finish the sentence, his hand that was caressing your lower back now grabbed onto your waist for support as he took his dick out before pushing it back in. He took absolutely no time to find a rhythm that drove you crazy, and as expected from mister tease himself, it was a slow one, but with that, you could feel every single vein and piece of skin dragging against your walls, every single pulse and twitch of his cock. 

“Fuck,” You moaned, closing your eyes harshly to try and focus on something other than the way the man you hated was about to make you cum in approximately 20 seconds just from teasing. 

“I´ve been imagining fucking you for years,” Haechan groaned. 

“Then fucking do it properly,” You cursed between gritted teeth, sentence interrupted by a gasp when his cock hit something inside of you that had you involuntarily clenching around him.  

“You can´t take it.” 

He was probably right, but you wanted him to anyways. 

“Maybe you just can´t do it.” 

Haechan´s answer was a laugh; his movements didn’t stop as you felt something grabbing your hair and pulling you up, your back once again against his chest, “I wanted to have my fun, but I guess that´s not something you´re familiar with.” 

His movements then sped up, his right hand finding your clit and rubbing circles on it and his other hand moved to your favorite place, your neck.  

He was absolutely right. You couldn’t take it.  

You were pretty sure you were being loud, but you couldn´t even be sure because your mind was in another dimension.  

“Happy now, princess?” He groaned against your ear from the effort of how he was harshly fucking into you.  

“Yes, oh my god. Don´t stop – Ah-  I´m so close.” 

Your body was shaking at this point, you threw your right arm back to latch onto Haechan´s hair for any sense of stability as you felt everything beginning to turn white.  

“I thought you would put more of a fight,” His hand around your neck tightened. “But I love seeing you like this, so no complaints.”  

You heard his voice but his words didn´t register, leaving your mind as soon as they entered because you were so so close.  

“Tell me you´re mine.” 

“I´m yours.” 

“This pussy is mine, only mine.” 

“Only yours.” 

“Good girl.” 

Never in a million years did you think you would let Lee Donghyuck say those words to you, and never in a million years did you think those exact words would trigger the most earth-shattering orgasm of your life. 

“Oh fuck, oh my god. Hyuck”-   

He didn´t let up, fucking you all throughout as you were moaning and twitching, his fingers never losing speed against your clit, his groans from the way you kept squeezing around him were enough to almost give you another orgasm back-to-back as he let your cheek gently hit the mattress once again.  

“If you keep calling me that I might cum soon too.” 

You didn't even mind the overstimulation, your ears were still ringing, you were still gasping for air but he didn´t stop, in fact, he only begin fucking you harder. Another high started building up and you weren´t even done with the first yet.  

You barely registered when he pulled out for a second to flip you around, finding his place in between your legs once again, which you automatically wrapped around his hips as he pounded into you.  

“Fuck,” He groaned, looking into your eyes. Sweat was running down his forehead and neck and you so desperately wanted to pull him closer and lick it. “Maybe I was jealous, can´t stand the thought of someone else seeing how pretty you look like this.” 

“Hyuck.” 

“I want to ruin you for any other man. Fuck, you feel so good.” 

He was close too, you could feel his cock twitching inside of you and how he lost control once every few thrusts. Your nails scratched his back enough to draw blood but he seemed to enjoy it, his head dropping down your neck and a whine leaving his lips. The vibration against your skin got goosebumps erupting once again all over your body and you felt yourself at the edge again.  

You stopped caring your friends were right outside about 10 minutes ago and Donghyuck just never did - Oh, right. He probably wanted Jeno to hear it all.  

“Hyuck, ah- I´m close.” 

“Me too, baby.” 

You didn´t think it was possible for him to go any faster, but he did. Now supporting his weight on his two arms, Donghyuck drilled into you and his lips met your neck, leaving wet kisses and sucking on it to leave as many bruises as possible.  

Man really had a possession problem. 

You couldn´t take it anymore, as the man bit a particular spot on the side of your neck, you closed your eyes and let it hit you. No man had ever been able to make you cum just from penetration alone and your world was suddenly turned upside down with your second orgasm of the night. Donghyuck probably did manage to ruin you for any other man.  

Fuck him. 

With your body spasms and the way your walls started clenching when you came, Donghyuck followed right along with you. He had his eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed as moans left his pretty lips - Haechan was insufferable but he was also the hottest man in the world, you were going a bit crazy.  

You felt warmness hitting your insides as he slowly stopped his motions and started trying to catch his breath. You watched with hazy eyes as his chest stopped heaving and he opened his eyes to stare right back at you. 

“Hello beautiful,” You smiled at him, breathing somewhat closer to normal even if you were still shivering.  

“I figured it out,” He smiled back at you.  

“You´re still inside of me.” 

“And I plan on being for a long time.” 

“Is that a threat?” 

“I want you to go out with me.” 

“Awn, someone has a crush.” 

“Maybe. Let´s have a date and figure it out,” He shrugged. “Maybe we will end up killing each other, maybe we will end up boyfriend and girlfriend, maybe we will end up fucking – No, we´re definitely fucking either way-” 

“You just want to keep staring at my boobs.” 

“That too.” 

“And you´re still inside of me.” 

“You never said yes.” 

“We´ve known each other for many years, Donghyuck. What makes you think we will start liking each other now?” 

“I guess I already like you and even when hating each other we still had fun, you get me, I get you. Let´s not overcomplicate it.” 

“Ok, let´s give it a try.” 

“You just want me to fuck you again,” He joked. 

“That too,” You smiled. 

★ 

“Oh, fuck.” 

“What´s wrong?” Donghyuck asked worriedly, tightening his belt after the shower you took. 

“The timer.” 

“Oh, yeah. Was too lazy to turn it off,” He shrugged. 

“But the bet-” 

“I told you I didn´t care about the bet.” 

“That´s because I won.” 

“That´s because I let you win.” 

“So you´re just giving me your stuff like that?” 

“Nop, because many rules were broken and that makes the bet invalid.” 

“I never agreed to that.” 

“So you really want my computer? Yours is perfectly fine, I know it because I´m the one who assembled it!” 

“No, but I do want your hoodie.” 

Donghyuck stared at you in silence long enough to make you uncomfortable before shrugging, “Fine, as long as I can fuck you in it. Now go outside and tell our dear friends the bet was canceled.” 

“Shouldn´t we just lie? I kind of feel bad for Jisung.” 

“If I agree, I get to choose where to go on our first date.” 

“Let me guess, your bed?” 

“What do you take me for?” He fake gasped. 

“Do you really want me to answer that? Because then I don´t think there will be a first date.”  

“Look who´s all mouthy now, not only 15 minutes ago you were-” 

“Don´t you dare.” 

“Oh, I dare.” 

“Just give me your hoodie and shut up.” 

“You´ll go out wearing it.” 

“What- Why?” 

“I want Jeno to see it.” 

“To see that I won the bet?” 

“No, that you´re mi- You know what I mean! Must you always be so annoying?” 

“You´re the one begging me for a date.” 

“Don´t complain if I end up making you sit down and watch all of the Fast and Furious movies.”  

“That would still be more pleasant than having a conversation with you.” 

“You know what? Then I´m taking you to a fancy restaurant and forcing you to look at me all nnight.” 

“It´s a nice view,” You smiled, calling a truce for the time being.

Donghyuck accepted the white flag and smiled back.  

Maybe this could work out. 

[captjprice]

Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader

He doesn't have anyone back home

a/n : more simon because i love him 🥹 this can also be read as platonic or romantic. romance fics with simon will probably be slow-burn because i don't see him as the type to just jump into it. this is a follow-up to my earlier simon x reader but can be read as a stand alone!

mentions : not really angst but still kind of sad, simon kind of opens up???, reader is so patient

That dreaded time of year rolled around again, like always. Christmas time, when everyone would head back to their families or friends back home. It's not that you didn't enjoy Christmas, you did, but aside from the handful of friends you barely saw back from deployment you didn't have a lot of people to spend it with.

You mull over it, sitting in the common room on base. The others laugh, patting their backs as they talk about how excited they are to go back home to their families.

Your gaze falls on Simon, who, just like you, seems to be sitting on the couch without talking to anyone. Simon didn't need to talk for you to figure him out anymore. His eyes told you enough, and now they told you that he was deep in thought about something.

After your last conversation, Simon stayed around you much more. Having the confirmation that he didn't need to talk to you to be in your presence made him feel safe. You made him feel safe. Unlike the others, you hadn't once asked about the mask, or why he wore it. You were accepting, and it made him melt just a little bit.

You stare at him for a moment, before standing and sauntering over to him, sitting down without a word. He turns to you, then goes back to the group of people laughing and talking in front of him. It stays quiet like that for a few moments before you decide to speak up.

"You don't seem too jolly," You speak dryly, a hint of amusement in your tone. Despite the sarcasm, Simon knows you worry about him.

"Ain't a jolly season." He grunts back. You've learned that no matter what Simon feels, his voice is the same gruff tone. You look around to make sure nobody's in earshot of your conversation. It'd make Simon uncomfortable, especially with these topics. "Got something going on back home?" You ask softly, leaning back on the couch. He's gotten better at opening up to you, even more so after hearing that you don't want to rush him into talking.

"I'm asking you because I like you. And I like being around you. And I think it'd do you good to have some interaction for Christmas." You say, very bluntly. He knows better than to take offense, though.

"Got nothin' going on back home." He mutters, glancing at you. "That's the problem." Simon says, and a familiar type of sadness sinks into your chest. You also know better than to pry too much, so you choose your words carefully. "No family? Friends?" You ask, and it's relieving for him to hear that you aren't being judgemental, just curious

"Family's.. gone." He mumbles, and you give a curt nod. Seems he's not going to comment on his friends, then. "If it makes you feel any better, I probably won't be seeing anyone either." You say. Normally you wouldn't be so vulnerable, but you know it's the only way to make him feel comfortable. He doesn't say or do anything for a moment, then turns to you. "No friends?"

You shake your head. "Busy with themselves, probably. Last time they didn't have time for me, they probably don't this time." You explain, and Simon's gaze shifts to something softer, more empathetic. "What are you planning on doing, then?" He asks, shifting to sit in a better position. "No idea. Drink, maybe. Read? I have no idea." You answer with a shrug, then continue "What about you?"

"Absolutely no idea." He says, and as you watch him, you get the shittiest idea ever. Or maybe your best. You're still deciding when you blurt it out. "We could spend Christmas together." As soon as you've said it, you feel your cheeks burn with embarrassment. He'll probably decline, and be weirded out.

Simon shifts again, obviously shocked by your request since nobody's ever asked him such a thing. He quickly eyes you, then back to the wall. "Why?" He grunts, suspicious in some way. You clear your throat. "Why not? We both don't have anything to do." You reply.

"Not what I meant, why me? I ain't the best company." He pointed out, and you thought it over for a moment before replying. "If I wanted the best and jolliest company I'd be over there, with them." You say, gesturing to Price and Kyle.

You speak again. "We wouldn't have to talk all day. I know that's not what you want. We could just enjoy Christmas in silence, if you prefer. I'd just like to spend time with you." Everything you say hits him like a brick, and he feels that he shouldn't be so weirded out by your kindness.

"That's fine," You say softly with a small smile, knowing you're getting to him. "And we're not chatting the whole day, either." He grunts, almost like he's listing up rules. "Also totally fine." You nod. He's been so used to spending his nights alone, even the holidays, so he has no idea how he's going to do this.

He objected, "I don't want to ruin your holiday." And you scoff, looking at him. "You wouldn't, really. It's not like I usually do some grand activity. It'd just be cosy. And quiet." You shoot back, and it seems to shut him up for a moment. He's thinking it over, you can tell with the way he's looking at you. He mutters a curse, then clears his throat.

"I won't be buying you presents," He says.

His shoulders sag a bit in acceptance, and he gives a slow nod. "Alright." You smile, sinking even further back into the couch. "Alright," You repeat back to him.

You're not sure, but it almost looks like he's quirking a smile of his own under the mask. You're glad he's more welcoming of you now. And only you.

[catladyoftheyr]

(¯★.¸(¯★.¸ Can’t Let You Go ¸.★´¯)¸.★´¯)

𝙲𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚘 𝚡 𝙵𝚎𝚖 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

Summary: you and Choso are arguing (again). You storm off and he comes to apologize. Angsty, toxic, kiss and makeup at the end 🙂‍↕️ (should i make this a series lol)

Warnings: t o x i c relationship lol, Choso is a shitty boyfriend, name calling, gaslighting??, arguing, mentions of weed and alcohol. Cigarette smoking. Strong language. Brief mentions of sex, not explicit.

Rating: idk 16+ i guess

Word count: just under 1.2k 🙂‍↕️

“C'mon babe I said I’m sorry. You can’t be pissed off at me forever”

Choso was pouting in the driver's seat, one hand on the wheel. You swatted his other hand away from your thigh. “Fuck, Cho. It’s not about an apology. I just want you to like, be better. I can’t keep doing this shit.”

“I’m trying. But you’re always so moody. I feel like you’re never happy with me anyways.” He pulled into the parking lot of an empty playground and rolled the windows down. “I don’t know what you want from me anymore.”

“I want you to stop acting like such a dick, dude. I feel like you don’t even like me. It’s like the only thing I am to you is pussy on demand. You don’t even pay attention to me!” You hadn’t meant to raise your voice but you were frustrated. You’d been rehashing the same arguments for months. You felt like your relationship was being neglected in favor of Choso doing whatever he damn well pleased.

“That’s not true! I just spent the entire weekend at your house and we went to that party Saturday night. What do you call that?” He slung his arm out the window and sighed. “You’re so dramatic sometimes, babe.”

“I’m not being dramatic. I’m trying to tell you I’m not happy and it’s like you don’t even give a fuck, Choso. And yeah you were with me this weekend but you spent the whole time smoking weed and playing fucking Fortnite. You spent more time on call with your friends than you did with me and we were in the same fucking room!” It felt like he was missing the point on purpose. You’d bring up a problem in the relationship and he’d weave around it, accusing you of overreacting. “And don’t even get me started on the shit you pulled Saturday. You said you weren’t gonna drink and I ended up driving you home because you got drunk anyway.”

“Look, I’m sorry. But it’s really not that deep. I wasn’t even that drunk I could have driven just fine. And god forbid I spend time with my friends and play games. It’s not like I never do anything for you either. I bought us dinner the other day and I filled your car up with gas too. Sorry for being the world's shittiest boyfriend I guess. I know I’m just a loser to you anyways.” Choso rolled his eyes and pushed the driver's seat into a recline, putting his arms behind his head. “I’m done talking if you wanna be like this. We can talk later when you’re not so bitchy.”

Bitchy. That was the last straw for you; he knew you hated when guys used that word. You yanked open the passenger door, grabbing your purse and cell phone. You stormed off toward the empty jungle gym. Choso called something after you but you weren’t listening. The night air was cold, and you’d left your jacket in the car, but your pride was too great to turn back now. You sat down on the playground, legs dangling off the edge by the slides. You fished out the box of cigarettes from your bag and lit one. You felt the tears well up in your eyes as you inhaled.

You pulled out your phone and scrolled through your contacts. Your relationship with Cho was tumultuous. It was embarrassing to ask for advice again, just to ignore it when your friends told you to leave. You blew out smoke, watching it fade into the night. “Fuck me, dude” you mumbled as you took another drag of your cigarette. Choso was so sweet when he wanted to be. You just wished he wanted to be sweet more often. You missed flowers on your birthday and when you didn’t have to beg him to go down on you. You sighed and put your phone away, not bothering to text anyone after all.

You cried silently as you smoked. You didn’t know why you stayed. He was such a prick lately. But you remembered the sweet man underneath. You still saw him sometimes. if you just kept talking about it he’d get better eventually. Maybe you were being too hard on him. He had his own baggage, and it’s not like you were perfect either. You had just stormed out of his car and called him a dick.

You saw Choso making his way over to you. “Fuck off, dude” you called out to him. You were still simmering with hurt and didn’t want to talk to him.

“Aw don’t be like that, baby! Besides, I brought you a present.” He smirked as he brandished your abandoned hoodie, waving it in the air like a flag. He pulled himself up to sit next to you. You snatched your hoodie from him and made a clear effort to scoot over away from him.

“Wasn’t fuck off clear enough, Cho?” You scowled and flicked the cigarette butt onto the concrete. “I thought you didn’t want to talk because I was being too bitchy anyways.”

“Look I’m sorry I was such an ass. I shouldn’t have said that.” He closed the gap between you and placed his hand on the small of your back. You thought about smacking it off of you but decided it wasn’t worth it. Instead you ignored him and lit another cigarette. “Oh don’t give me the silent treatment. I really am sorry, babe.” He rubbed circles on your lower back gently. You said nothing still, but passed the cigarette to him as a wordless offering.

You shared the smoke in silence for several minutes, Choso softly rubbing your back the entire time. When you’d smoked it down to the filter you finally spoke up. “Thanks for apologizing. I’m sorry I stormed off.” You just wanted to stop fighting. His apology seemed heartfelt, and you were freezing. You nuzzled your head into his shoulder and watched a pigeon stroll across the empty parking lot. The bird bounced as it walked, searching for forgotten scraps. It cooed as it foraged through a pack of chips.

“Hey look! Salt and vinegar! Just like you, Cho!” You couldn’t help but laugh as the bird took flight with a whole chip in its mouth.

“The bird has good taste. A man of culture” Choso giggled as the pigeon flew off. The mood had lifted and you too felt lighter. You missed laughing together, and it felt nice to have that connection again, if only for a moment. Choso planted a soft kiss on the top of your head. You both smelled like cigarettes, but it mixed with the scents of your cologne and perfume. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you into him. “I really am sorry,” he whispered into your hair.

“I know, baby.”

“Can I have a kiss?”

You answered him by planting a peck on his hand, and then on his cheek, before meeting his lips. The kiss was gentle, and held you tightly. The moon shone down on the pair of lovers as you kissed.

[sillygoose067]

Charles’s Angel(s)

Ch.24

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Author’s Note: LOL I found this pic and it seemed so fitting for this chapter, don’t judge.

The next afternoon, Minho called you, asking if you and Charles wanted to join them for some fried chicken and beer. Charles, having experienced Korean fried chicken once before and enjoyed the absolute party it provided his tastebuds, readily agreed. 

You were getting ready to go when Charles stopped you. “Chéri, I’m not sure which hoodie I should wear”, he frowned. He didn’t want to seem unfashionable in front of literal world-famous idols, but he didn’t want to seem too forthcoming and go to chicken and beer overdressed. 

“Charles, how many times do I have to tell you that they literally don’t give a shit what you wear. They’re so enamored to be in your presence that they could care less if you went in your pajamas.”

He pouted at you and gave you sad eyes. Sighing, you point at a light brown, cappuccino-colored hoodie that complemented his eyes and read “Life’s a game. Play your cards right” on the back.

…

“So you are saying that you guys were on a survival show, which was aired on live television, and your damn CEO had the audacity to eliminate Felix and Minho?”, gasped a slightly buzzed Charles. The introduction of Soju had misled him to drink one too many glasses of the flavored alcohol. 

“Yeah! And when I confronted him later on a reality TV show episode we were on, he looked me in the eye and said ‘I just thought you weren’t very good back then’! I almost had a stroke from the amount of disappointment I was overcome with! On TV!”, hiccuped and equally drunk Felix. 

“Wow, you guys must hate your boss…”, replied Charles, staring off into a corner. 

“Yeah, we do”, echoed 3racha and Seungmin. “He writes the shittiest songs and then expects us to actually perform them”.

“I can relate”, said Charles sullenly. “My company is such shit with tactics, I seldom listen to them anymore. And don’t get me wrong, I love my teammate Carlos’, he’s one of my closest friends at the moment…” “ But I really hate it when my engineers tell me to let him pass me and then he gets the podium” Tears of frustration begin to fall from his eyes. “I know that people think that I have it easy because I’ve been born and brought up in Monaco, and have an amazing family, and all the females always fall for me— But sometimes I just want people to understand that I am also human and that I also want to win in more than just fans’ hearts, y’know?”, he looks up at the members of Stray Kids looking back at him empathetically. 

“Yeah man, we know. The number of people whom I grew up with at the company leaving, committing to other companies, or just debuting while I was still a trainee and the same age as them…” “ Not the best time for me. Sat there wondering what I was doing wrong and if I was wrong to have left everything behind in Australia”, consoled Chan. 

You intertwined your fingers with Charles’. “I know that it feels like nothing is going your way, but remember why you started racing in the first place, and then, you’ll have a reason to continue pushing through.”

You hear a very drunk Minho whoop. “And that’s why we love Y/n she came into our lives right when we were all down and felt like we would never be able to achieve our dreams, and she showed us the way. If anything,” his head lolls in your direction and his eyes give you a pointed look. “She’s an official member of our group. I just wish we could tell the world that”. He pouts and there are tears in his eyes now. “But stupid PD-nim won’t ever let us, because, ‘she’s a girl and you’re a boy group’”, he mimics in a mocking tone, rolling his eyes. 

…

You manage to get Charles in and out of the taxi, hauling him up the stairs to the floor to your hotel room. “C’mon big guy”, you heave. “Give some help here. I’m like, half your body mass!”

Charles just mumbles something incoherently.

You’re able to get him into the hotel room. Panting, you dump him on the bed and rush to close the door behind you. You turn and sigh, hands on your hips. “WOW an angel! Am I in heaven?”, Charles is muttering now, staring at you. Assessing that he’s not in any condition to get himself dressed, you attempt to lift his hoodie. As soon as your fingers reach the lower hem, you feel him weakly push you, an offended look on his face. Oh no! Did I do something wrong? Does he feel insecure around me? Your thoughts are suffocating. 

“Stop trying to grope me, lady! You may look like an angel… but I have a girlfriend already, and she’s really pretty, and sweet, and caring.”

Your heart warms with pride. Even drunk, your boyfriend is loyal to you and he knows that he’s taken. Raising your eyebrow, you straighten your posture with your arms crossed across your chest. “Really? Tell me more about this girlfriend of yours.”

Charles’ face brightens immediately and your eyes soften. “She has the most beautiful long, dark, thick hair, and the most gorgeous brown eyes I could stare into all day, especially when the sun filters through them… Ohhhh it’s like they glow… Her skin is so smooth and a beautiful light tan, reminds me of perfectly made hot chocolate… and she’s so funny… and she hates superficial people… and she is so passionate about everything she does… and lights up every room she steps into… And to be honest”, his excited voice drops to a whisper as if he’s telling you a secret. “To be honest, I think I’m in love with her.”

Your breath catches in your throat, and you stifle a sob. “Yeah?”, you whisper back to him. Then you flick his forehead. “I’m your girlfriend, you dummy.”

His eyes widen comically and you take this chance to finally get him changed. 

Before getting into bed next to him, you find him passed out. “I think I’m in love with you too.” And then you too, are out like a light. 

[potechiis]

homesick

one of my dearest friends drew this fanart from my fic 'Homesick' for my birthday, and im STILL geeking out over it!!

it was an unexpected collab where they did the lineart and I did the colouring ;w;

LOOK AT HOW CUTE YOUNG RICK LOOKS HERE!! HOLDING HIS BAG OF CHIPS!! Prime was such a tsundere in this fic and THEY TOTALLY GOT THE VIBES!!!! i am still SHRIEKING over this ;w;

As the fic is not currently available on ao3, if you're interested in reading the fic, check below the cut ;w; <3

“Dammit!” Rick exclaimed looking at the empty shelf, devoid of the super spicy chips he’d been craving. 

“What?” Prime trotted over, shaking his wet hands off, carelessly scattering water droplets everywhere as he went. “What’s up?”

“They’re out.” Rick frowned disappointedly, the corners of his lips turning down as his brow furrowed in. 

“Tough luck buddy,” Prime patted his back, not sounding sympathetic in the slightest, “Welp, shall we get back to the ship? We still got a couple more hours to go sooo….” 

Prime started walking toward the exit of the small corner store, vaguely checking out a section with different coloured plumbuses on one of the shelves as he wound his way through the colourful aisles stuffed full with wacky looking products. When he saw that Rick hadn’t followed him, he sighed with exasperation and doubled back with his hands on his hips. He found his twin still staring at the empty shelf longingly. 

“Come on, Rick. Let’s go.” His patience was starting to run thin.

“Man, I really wanted to get these.” Rick said wistfully, ignoring his impatient twin. 

“There’s snacks at home, let’s go.” Prime pulled on his arm but Rick still didn’t budge. “Rick,” he said warningly. 

“Okay, okay , fine,” Rick let himself be pulled away, “can we stop by the next gas station though?”

“No, we can’t.” Prime refused to let go of his twin’s arm until they cleared the threshold. 

“Why not?” Rick protested as they walked toward the ship in the parking lot. 

“There’s no more gas stations around here.” Prime lied as he unlocked and got into the driver’s seat.

“That’s not true— how would you know? You didn’t even check!” Rick argued as he slid into the passenger side. He pulled up the navigator and began typing in a search for the nearest gas station on the way. “Hah! See, here’s one.” He said triumphantly, pointing to a red dot on the screen. 

“It’s probably closed.” Prime started the ignition, ignoring the red blinking dot his twin was pointing to. 

“How can it be closed? It says it’s open 24 hours.” Rick rolled his eyes, “Every time you’ve said somewhere was closed, you’ve almost always been wrong.” 

“It’s my ship, I’m driving ergo, we’re not going.” Prime snapped as the ship rose into space quickly. 

“Come on,” Rick whined, “can’t we at least go check?”

“I don’t get why you’re so obsessed with these fucking chips. They’re not even that good.” Prime scoffed, “out of a million flavours in this universe to fixate on, of course you’d choose the shittiest one.”

Rick flushed, hands kneading together in his lap. It was difficult to say exactly why he’d been craving them as of late. The flavour wasn’t perfect but somehow, the hot smoky spice reminded him of home. His Earthly home, that is. Prime disliked it when he brought up Earth or any lingering ties to their home planet and with things as tense and rocky as they were in the ship at the moment, Rick found himself chewing on his bottom lip, not knowing how to defend his intense craving to his twin. 

“They’re not that bad,” he said lamely before looking out the window glumly. 

Stars and distant galaxies twinkled and winked at him like tiny gems sewed onto inky black fabric. Rick usually found the sight quite comforting and awe inspiring but today, they only seemed to remind him of just how far home was. 

Distantly, he heard Prime flick the radio on, an alien tune crackling through the speakers of the ship. Disappointment settled in his stomach heavily. He’d been really looking forward to munching on those chips on the ride back. 

Other than the radio playing and the drone of the engine shuttling them home, the ship was silent and Rick found himself lost in his thoughts, staring out the window with unseeing eyes. 

“We’re here.” Prime said roughly, jolting him out of his thoughts. 

Rick looked up and then out of the ship. This— this wasn’t their little dwarf planet! His eyes dropped to the navigator between them, the coordinates for the gas station still blinking on the screen as the ship closed distance rapidly. He sat up straighter, completely alert and awake. He could hear Prime snickering at his eagerness— but Rick couldn’t care less. His heart skipped, mouth watering eagerly as he silently urged the ship to go faster. So close! He squeezed his hands together tightly, anticipation welling in his chest. 

The neon sign for a gas station was spotted below and Prime eased the ship toward it. 

As the store came into view, Rick felt his heart plummet and the smile that had crept onto his face dropped. 

The lights were completely off inside. 

“No!” Rick cried out in disbelief, “you’ve got to be kidding me!”

“I told you so,” Prime said smugly as he parked. “Told you it would be closed. Now can we— Hey! Where are you—“

Rick threw the door open and ran toward the storefront. There was a notice tacked to the entrance and Rick squinted at the Galactic Standard written on it, deciphering it in his head quickly. 

CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE   

“Are you serious?!” He groaned, hands and face plastered against the glass as he squinted into the dark store like he might somehow magick a store clerk into appearing if he stared hard enough. 

Prime walked up behind him slowly, lighting up a cigarette as he went. 

Rick turned around at the sound of a lighter clicking and hissing. 

“Prime—“ 

“No! No way!” Prime exclaimed, catching the hopeful look on his twin’s face, “I’m not wasting any more time or gas on this goddamn wild goose chase for shitty chips!” He took a drag on his cigarette and blew the smoke out into Rick’s face. “We checked it out and it’s closed. End of story. We’re going home.” 

“Then—“ Rick looked around furtively, “then we break in! We still got the lock picking kit in the ship right— we’ll be in and out, super fast—“

“No.” Prime rolled his eyes as he inhaled. “I’m not gonna do that.”

“Come on,” Rick wheedled, “why not? We’ve broken into other places for less— how’s this any different?” 

“I’m not playing accomplice to your stupid chip heist.” Another cloud of smoke to the face. 

“Unbelievable! After everything you make me do!” Rick huffed, dispersing the acrid smoke with a wave of his hand. “You’re being so unfair right now!”

“I don’t care,” Prime flicked his half-smoked cigarette onto the ground, crushing it out under his boot with an air of finality. He began walking back toward the ship. “Come home with me or stay here licking glass, I really couldn’t give a shit.”

Rick stared at his twin’s back but Prime never looked back once. Fuck . His hands hardened into fists at his sides. He knew that tone of voice. His twin wasn’t kidding. Prime really would leave him here on this nondescript planet that only functioned as a pit stop for intergalactic travellers if he didn’t move his ass. He’d done it before. Rick spent the better part of a week hitchhiking through the galaxy just to get back to their base. 

“Fucking asshole.” Rick muttered crossly as he followed his twin back to the ship dejectedly, feeling like a leashed dog following its owner. He truly was at Prime’s mercy out here. Sometimes he felt like his twin was a golden ticket that could take him anywhere— but some days, he couldn’t help but feel shackled and bound to his whims. 

Rick yanked the ship door open and slammed it shut extra hard to vent his feelings. 

“Hey!” Prime barked, “Don’t take your shit out on my ship! You break the door, I’ll break your arm.”

“Fuck you, asshole!” Rick snapped, “I hope that shit shatters!” 

“If that shit shatters, we’re both dead in the water and I’m not gonna die because you wanted to get a bag of shitty chips!” Prime punched Rick’s arm hard enough to leave an ache. 

“Ow!” Rick yelped as he twisted around on his seat to face his twin, “what the hell, dude! That fucking hurts!”

“That’s for slamming the door!” Prime growled, “keep it up and the next one will be on the kisser!” 

“I fucking hate it here!” Rick yelled out, face reddening with hot frustration. It wasn’t true. But the bitterness at being foiled over something that should have been a simple pick up, coupled with his twin’s unreasonable attitude had him lashing out angrily. Rick felt like kicking the footwell of the ship but the ache in his arm restrained him. He let out a disgruntled snarl instead, clenching his jaws together. 

“Oh yeah? If you hate it so bad, you can always leave.” Prime said sweetly, but his eyes flashed dangerously. Honeyed poison. He hovered a finger over the glowing red eject button located on the dashboard threateningly. “You wanna leave?”

Stars had surrounded them once more. Leaving was clearly a death wish at this point. 

“No.” Rick said sourly, arms crossed over his chest again. 

“That’s what I thought.” 

Prime didn’t bother turning on the radio to ease the tension. His knee bounced restlessly, knuckles white as they gripped the steering wheel. He piloted the ship hunched over and grouchy, exuding an aura of quiet murderous rage. 

The ship felt uncomfortably cramped— almost claustrophobic with the silent tension crackling between them. A muscle in Rick’s jaw jumped as he turned himself towards his window, physically angling himself away from his twin. He rubbed his arm discreetly, glowering out the window. Fucking hell, Prime could pack a punch. Rick could already tell he was going to find a fist shaped bruise later from the way his skin ached hotly. 

They sat like that for the next couple of hours in stony silence. There were no comments on interesting looking nebulae or space objects. There was not a single joke or word exchanged. The only sound was Prime’s finger tapping out an irritating beat against the handle. Rick would ask him to stop but that would require speaking to his twin and he absolutely refused to do that. 

Both Ricks mirrored an identical expression of sulky anger; brows furrowed deeply, corners of their lips tugging downward as their shoulders tensed into hard lines. 

By the time Prime had landed the ship in the familiar parking lot, Rick’s bottom lip was practically swollen from how much he’d been chewing on it in an effort to hold back his acidic vitriol. He kicked the door open— not even bothering to close it as he stalked towards the building angrily. He could hear Prime yelling something at him but Rick simply flipped him off without looking back. 

Rick jabbed in the 20 digit passcode rapidly, scanned his hand and stormed into the bedroom, locking the door behind him swiftly. Shucking off his labcoat, Rick dropped it on the floor without a second glance, kicking off his shoes as well.

Starlight streamed in through the bedroom window and Rick strode over to it, closing the blinds and plunging the room into semi-darkness to match his mood. He paced around the floor, back and forth as he nibbled on his thumbnail. His chest was hot and tight with pent-up anger. Rage bubbled in him like a bottle of shaken soda; pressure building with no real outlet. The room felt extra small today. Like a jail cell. It may as well have been. Rick was stuck out here, millions of miles away from home, no way to get back. 

He heard Prime enter the apartment— front door slamming shut loudly. Rick’s heart began to thunder in his chest; half expecting his twin to pound the bedroom door down, demanding to be let in. He steeled himself for a blistering confrontation— shaking with equal parts dread and savage anticipation— but no such thing happened. Prime began moving around in one of the rooms noisily, clearly ignoring him. 

They’d woken up in high spirits, laughing about something insignificant and chattering over where they’d go over a bowl of cereal excitedly. What happened? How did their day turn out… like this? All he wanted was a bag of chips! If Prime wanted something he wouldn’t let them rest until it was in his greedy hands. If Prime had no vested interest in it, it wasn’t worth pursuing. Fuck what Rick wanted, right? It wasn’t fair.  

Rick scowled, flinging himself onto their unmade bed face down, yelling wordlessly into his pillow until his throat felt raw.

Soft cotton quickly absorbed the hot pinpricks of wetness that seeped out of his eyes. Rick continued to lie face down until he couldn’t breathe before finally turning over, chest heaving. 

He stared at the ceiling, at the weird stain that sort of looked like a dick. The one they always laughed at while lying in bed together. Rick glared at it like it had caused him personal offence. He wished he could rewind time and forget this afternoon completely. 

Rick got under the covers, cocooning himself as he curled into a tight ball. Safe in the soft darkness, there was no way to tell whether he was in space or on Earth. It didn’t matter anyway. 

The angry knot in his chest gradually loosened and was replaced by bone weary exhaustion instead. 

Rick dreamed of his mama. The old kitchen he grew up in with the sunny terracotta tiles. Warmth. Comfort. Soft arms folding him into her aproned chest, stroking the top of his head softly while she croons to him in their native tongue. Her clever boy. He looks up, the stovetop towering over him as she stirs something rich and fragrant with spices. Bubbling cheerfully. Rick inhales deeply, smiling widely. ¡Mamá! His mama beams down at him. Bright as the afternoon sun spilling across the yellow walls. The wooden spoon that often raps him across the knuckles when he’s being naughty is being held out to him. Today it offers love and nourishment. He opens his mouth eagerly—

Rick woke from deep sleep. For a moment, he was back at home. His childhood home. Any moment now, mamá was going to come in and get him up for dinner. He was still half dreaming, stomach rumbling as the rich aroma from his dream filled his senses. He longed to fall back into the warm embrace of the dream but it was quickly leaving him like cupped water in his palms. Slowly, the room came into focus and he remembered where he was. Millions of miles away from Earth. Middle of bumfuck nowhere. Rick sat up slowly, rumpled and groggy with exhaustion but the knotted tension from early had left him completely. All that remained was a gnawing hunger. 

Swinging his legs out of bed, he sat perched on the edge, not quite ready to leave just yet. The argument from earlier crept back into his mind and Rick chewed his cheek, feeling his arm ache dully from where Prime had punched him earlier. He rubbed at it, scowling a little. He wasn’t ready to face Prime but his stomach was insistent— still worked up from the delicious scent in his dreams that was somehow still lingering. 

Fuck it.

Maybe he could quickly sneak into the kitchen and grab a snack. With any luck, Prime might be passed out high on the sofa, watching TV or something. 

He padded over to the door, unlocking it quietly but as he opened it, Rick found himself stunned, frozen with his nose in the air like a hound catching the scent of a fox. 

That smell. 

Warm. Rich. Aromatic. 

It washed over him fully, making his stomach rumble and his mouth water. It wasn’t his imagination. It was real. But how…?

Rick swallowed. He tracked the homely scent, following it as if in a trance, feeling like he was still dreaming. 

The apartment was unusually dark and there was a warm flickering light at the end of the corridor coming from the kitchen. 

“What the—“

Rick stood rooted by the entrance as he looked over their kitchen that had transformed in the few hours he’d been asleep. The messy kitchen table that was usually laden with half drunk mugs of coffee, stacks of blueprints and various half completed inventions had been cleared. In its place sat two bowls and a few burning candles that cast an orange glow over the kitchen. The sink which was usually overflowing with glassware from the lab was filled with actual dirty dishes and bowls. A pot simmered away on the stove, bubbling lightly on low heat; the source of the delicious aroma that was wafting through the entire apartment alluringly. Rick gawked at all of it, mouth parted slightly. He could count on one hand the amount of times they used the kitchen for its intended purpose. 

A pair of arms circled his waist, lips brushing against the back of his neck causing him to jump out of his train of thought. 

“Are you still mad at me?” 

“Did you…” Rick swallowed hard, “did you do all this?” For me? The last two words were unspoken, but they hung in the air between them all the same. 

Prime made a noncommittal noise, his arms tightening around his twin. 

“Are you hungry?”

Rick nodded slowly, leaning back into his twin’s embrace. A small kiss was pressed into the side of his neck before he was released. 

Prime walked over to the fridge, bottles clinking as he opened it up. Yellow light pooled onto the floor briefly, illuminating his face. He pulled out two glass bottles by their necks, popping the tops off with his teeth before handing one to his twin. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Check the uh— check the cabinet over there. Food’s almost ready, by the way.” 

Rick went over to the aforementioned cabinet, setting his beer on the counter before pulling it open. He reached in, bringing one of the plastic bags closer to his face. It was hard to see with just candlelight but it only took a moment to recognise the brand. To his complete and utter astonishment, the shelf was filled with the chips he’d been looking for all afternoon 

“Y-you— when did you—?!” 

“I told you we had snacks at home.” Prime said gruffly, back turned to him as he stirred the pot. He had taken off his usual jacket, wearing his long sleeved brown shirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. 

The bag crinkled loudly as Rick ripped into its contents eagerly, popping one in his mouth. Immediately, addictively hot, smoky spice tingled his tongue and Rick couldn’t resist crunching down a few more. He set the bag down on the table, not wanting to ruin his appetite for what his twin had made for them. Now it was his turn to wrap his arms around his twin’s middle for a quick squeeze before his hands drifted to rest on Prime’s hips lightly. He could feel the flavour heating up his cheeks and neck, the warmth spreading through his body. He pressed in closer, inhaling Prime’s comforting scent and the mouthwatering smell from the soup bubbling  heartily. All the animosity from the day melted away. 

“… Thanks,” Rick mumbled, the gratitude muffled against his twin’s back, barely audible. 

“Mm.” 

Rick peered over Prime’s shoulder to watch him stir the stew, making sure the bottom wasn’t burning. With only candlelight illuminating the kitchen, it was difficult to make out the contents of the pot. It could have been a witch’s cauldron from how dark the contents looked in this lighting. 

“It’s super dark in here,” Rick observed, “how can you see like this?” He reached up to turn on the stove light but Prime caught his hand, turning around.

“Don’t,” he laced their fingers together, “it’s fine.” 

Candlelight flickered in his twin’s eyes; twin flames dancing in an ocean of blue. Tipping Rick’s chin up with a finger, Prime kissed his twin on the lips tasting the cheap flavoured powder from the chips. 

“Yeah, they still taste like shit.” But unlike the chips, his words lacked any real heat. “Taste this, it’s way better than that garbage.” Prime grinned as he picked up the long wooden spoon, blowing on it a little to cool it off before offering it to his twin. 

Rick obediently opened his mouth to accept the spoonful of soup. 

The unmistakable rich, unctuous flavour of menudo spread over his tongue thickly and Rick closed his eyes; instantly transported back to his childhood. It was spicier than a conventional menudo. But it was perfect. Just the way he liked it. Rick swallowed around the lump in his throat. 

“Just like mamá makes, right?” Prime whispered quietly, watching Rick savour his cooking efforts with prideful delight. He leaned in for another kiss, stealing the flavour out of his twin’s mouth until Rick was left breathless. 

“Sit down, I’ll plate up.”

Rick picked up his beer from the counter, sipping as he watched his twin bustle around the kitchen, ladling the dark soup and throwing a couple of finishing garnishes on top of the food. He sat down on his side of the table, lips still buzzing from their spicy kiss, feeling completely bemused. He had no idea Prime was capable of cooking. They usually ordered take out, ransacked the local corner store for high calorie snacks or ate out at fast food chains. He never imagined his twin picking up a knife to cook rather than maim. 

“Eat up,” Prime set down a bowl of menudo down in front of him. Rick inhaled deeply, his stomach growling loudly. He could smell garlic, cilantro and other spices wafting up with the steam. Where did he get these things? He knew Earthly ingredients were notoriously expensive and hard to find, especially out here. Even KOI planets couldn’t quite replicate the taste of Earth’s resources completely. 

Rick picked up his spoon. The flickering candlelight made the dark chunky soup gleam and shine. Menudo never looked great, but it more than made up for its looks in flavour. Ugly delicious. He began to eat, making sure to get a good ratio of chopped onions and other fixings on his spoon. 

Instantly, the flavour of garlic, aromatic spices and tangy citrus hit his tongue and started warming his body from the inside out. Hunger seemed to increase twofold and Rick was ravenous. The crispy fresh ingredients contrasted delightfully with the soft, braised meat— tender from having been cooked for hours. It was hearty and healing. It was everything Rick never knew he needed. His cheeks pinkened slightly— from the heat of the chilis and… his twin’s unexpected thoughtfulness. Had he known? That Rick had been feeling homesick? Or had this all been one gigantic coincidence? Rick mulled on it as he ate, savouring the flavours of home. 

The table was quiet apart from the sound of chewing and spoons scraping against bowls, but it was an amicable, comfortable silence. 

When Rick had gotten halfway through his bowl, he stopped to take a break with a sip of cold beer. The intense spiciness had begun to creep up on him and his neck and ears felt warm— tongue tingling with heat. But Rick wouldn’t have it any other way. He sat back, regarding his twin with a content expression on his face. 

“Okay,” he said, “I have to ask. Where’d you get these ingredients? It can’t have been easy sourcing cilantro and cumin and all the other stuff.”

“Oh well, you know,” Prime shrugged, busy looking at his bowl, “just here and there. I got a— ah— uh— a pretty sweet deal on some meat. Picked up some stuff last time we stopped by Earth. No big deal.”

Prime spooned some more menudo into his mouth before he looked up, almost shyly like he was nervous about Rick’s reaction.  

“D’you—“ he cleared his throat, “do you…uh, like it?”

“It’s good,” Rick nodded, “really good. I—“ he hesitated, “you should— uh, you should make it more often. If you can. Of course.” 

“I mean,” Prime swallowed his mouthful, washing it down with a glug of beer, “it’s extremely time consuming to make. Not to mention getting all the right stuff takes a lot of effort and then there’s planning—“

“Yeah,” Rick said quickly, looking back down at his half eaten bowl, “I get it. It’s a lot—“

“—But if you want it, just tell me. I can make it happen.” Prime shrugged, leaning back in his chair as he ruffled the back of his head with one hand. 

“Really?” Rick looked up.

“Yeah,” Prime spoke to the bottom of Rick’s beer bottle on the table, “‘cause, you know,” he paused, rubbing his neck sheepishly, “… I miss mama’s cooking too, sometimes.”

There was a beat of silence after this admission and the pair chuckled together. Something in Rick’s heart eased and then swelled. 

“I didn’t even know you knew how to cook.” Rick said teasingly before spooning a large mouthful of stew into his mouth, biting into a chilli by accident. Instantly, his eyes watered, cheeks peppery hot as he swallowed the spicy mouthful. He quickly took another sip of his beer as a chaser, blinking back tears. 

“Hey! There’s a lot you don’t know about me. Anyway, I am the smartest man in the universe, after all. Name something I can’t do.” Prime grinned cockily before balling up his napkin and throwing it at his twin lightly. “You missed a spot, by the way.”

“What— where? Did I get it?” Rick licked around his burning mouth before attempting to wipe off whatever it was with the back of his hand only to feel his twin catch his wrist, pulling it away. 

“Here.” Prime caught the dribble with his thumb, slowly pushing it back and over the curve of Rick’s lip and into the soft heat of his mouth. 

Rick’s mouth tingled as his twin pressed his thumb into his tongue gently causing saliva to well up around the intrusion. He swallowed, inadvertently sucking the tip of Prime’s finger, feeling it drag over his teeth as it left him too soon. Heat flooded him as he dazedly watched his twin suck his thumb clean of himself. He wasn’t sure if it was the chillis or something else that was making him pant lightly. 

“Eat your food,” Prime smirked, catching the flushed look on his twin’s face. 

Rick blushed, bending his head to quickly shovel the remains of his dinner into his mouth. 

The candlelight was dwindling, struggling to stay alive in the melting wax as the candles reached their stumpy limits. 

Still, the kitchen never felt warmer or brighter. The pair found themselves leaning in closer over the cramped table— two stars orbiting one another, powerless to their combined gravitational pull. 

Even after they’d finished and pushed their bowls to the side, they still lingered at the table— sipping out of mostly empty bottles of beer, talking about nothing and everything in between. Neither of them wanted to burst the fragile bubble of serenity this meal had brought them. 

But finally, when the last candle fizzled out, Rick sat back and stretched, sated and relaxed. 

“I’ll wash up.” 

“Oh— uh,” Prime sat up hastily, “that’s okay. I’ll do it. There’s a lot of stuff to wash and I wouldn’t wanna—“

“Why? You cooked so, it’s only fair, right? I don’t mind.” Rick stood up and carefully began clearing the table, squinting as he stacked their empty bowls. “God, it’s really dark in here, huh.” 

He walked over to the light switch in the corner. 

“Wait—!” Prime nearly tripped out of his chair, bumping the table loudly as he lunged for his twin. “Don’t—“

“What?” Rick turned around as the kitchen lights flooded the area starkly. “What the—“ 

Rick’s eyes widened as he stared down at the empty bowls of menudo in his hand, streaked with blue. In fact, he could see a bunch of the dishes in the sink were also covered in an unfortunately familiar shade of blue. 

“Dude,” he started, “tell me that’s not the—“

“God,” Prime rolled his eyes, huffing out a breath of air with his hands on his hips, “I told you not to turn the lights on! I knew you’d be such a baby about it.” 

“When you said you had a sweet deal on meat, you meant—“ Rick paled as nausea twisted his stomach. 

“I mean,” Prime flung his hands into the air, “what was I supposed to do? Leave the bodies to rot in the lab forever? What a waste. At least this way we can get rid of the bodies and save space and get free protein. This is a three birds one stone sitch! You have to appreciate that! It’s an extremely economical solution to a—”

“Have you learned nothing from putting alien things in our bodies?” Rick demanded, one hand on his hip.

“Relax, it’s totally fine,” Prime shushed him, “everyone knows heat kills germs and this stuff’s been boiling for hours!”

“…” Rick stared at his twin incredulously, not knowing what to say. “I’m going back to bed,” he said finally, feeling a bit ill as he set the bowls on the counter. He turned to walk out the kitchen. 

“Sure you don’t want seconds?” Prime called out to him, “You looked like you were really enjoying it!”

“No!”

“Okay, we can have it for breakfast tomorrow, then!” 

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2024: #28

28. GEORGIA Nutsa Buzaladze - "Firefighter" 21st place

Decade Ranking: 105/153 [Above Andromache, below The Black Mamba]

BY THE POWER OF THE EFENDI-PEDE

The bad Barkeresque bops always engage in a tug of war between basic bitch (Cyprus) and tacky bitch (Georgia) and in this year, somehow, the tacky bitch was the less bad one. Which is miraculous given that Firefighter was - as my colleague James generously pointed it - "a very crappy song".

So yeah, let's get the bad out of the way immediately. "Firefighter" is a garbage song. Direct contender for the worst one in the year. Now here's a song intended to be a party anthem that... fails to be catchy or rhythmic or sing-along? I thought the purpose of a party song is to be interactive in some way? Firefighter proceeds along like a comedy improv sketch, pivoting into a completely different section whenever someone yells "change".

Likewise, the song was a lyrical wreck. It was almost as if the songwriters were drunking their way through an Efendi algorithm- -CHANGE- were low on inspiration and high on sleep desperation -CHANGE- were ON SOOO MUCH COCAIIIIINE -CHANGE- delegated the songwriting to an neural net. What is this garbage?

Windows are burning? Running like tigers? How does one run through "this ashes" (sic X__X) like a firefighter? if there's ashes all around, the building's burnt to a crisp and you're pretty SHITTY at fighting fire. Also, do you intent to save your relationship or are you ah-okay with letting it burn down so you can emerge stronger from the debris? Which one is it because you cannot have both. Make up your mind, and die.

However, one has to believe that a good performance can elevate even the shittiest songs into bearability, and this was one such occasion. The staging went a bit too high on the pyros (girl you're FIGHTING the fire, not spreading it) but that's my only gripe. It was well staged and well-choreographed, respecting its niche as a dumbed-down uptempo trashbop. But the star of the performance was Nutsa herself. She worked REALLY hard to make the best of a very bad song, and she -dare I say- WERKED it?

Like THIS is what "serving" looks and sounds like. Total command of the performance, as one should when you intend to queen. It could not have come at a better time (between Kenzy forgetting her cues and Mustii giving his best Marius Bear impression). Maybe Rybak was right all along, if you believe in it and just roll with it, you might be good enough to break a downward spiral of failure, if combined with a late enough draw in the semi so you can capitalize on Malta's horrible one.

However, because "Firefighter" still sucks hard as a song, there is a ceiling for how high i'm willing to rank it, and we don't go any further than this. She served, but so did Sarah and Aiko(???) with better songs so where's their clutch qual, hmm? On the axis of tacky trashbops, she lands smack dab in the middle between Elena Tsagrinou and Efendi. Regardless, Nutsa earned that qualification and I wasn't unhappy to see her there. I just wish she had broken Georgia's NQ streak with a good song, and not a painfully stupid one.

THE RANKING

[girlfromthecrypt]

My dog and I just had the shittiest road trip.

I’m in a long distance relationship with my partner of four years. They live a seven hour drive from me, and every weekend, I pack up my things, load up the truck and go on the long-ass trip it takes me to see them. By now, I’m used to the potholes, the traffic jams, the impromptu bladder stops and horrendous gas station bathrooms. Now, I love my partner so it’s all worth it to me, but goddamn, the roads are crappy. It doesn’t help that they live off-the-grid, in a hard to find spot. The drive can actually be sort of dangerous sometimes.

Due to personal reasons, my partner can’t join me at my place in the city and even though I want to eventually move in with them, moving out into the sticks would just murder my career right now. It’s a frustrating situation and our only option is basically to hang on and wait for our circumstances to change. Until then, every Friday afternoon and every Sunday night, it’s “truckin’ time” for my dog and me. That’s what I’ve come to call these long car rides, and last Friday was about the worst one so far. 

It started innocently enough. I hurled my bag into the back of my vehicle and whistled for my Borzoi. “Pasha! Truckin’ time!” 

This has become a specific command for Pasha, and each time he hears it, he comes barreling towards me at high speed and leaps onto the passenger seat. Over the years, it’s turned into this practiced performance of ours. I open the door at exactly the right time for him to land the perfect jump, all in one elegant, fluid motion. Not to brag, but we’re a great team; it’s almost like a circus act. And Pasha is wonderful company. He’s sweet and doesn’t mind curling up next to me while I drive, as long as I occasionally give him a treat and stop for walks, pees and cuddles. 

Okay, there was that one time when we got stuck in traffic. It was a hot day and stressful as hell, and he decided out of the blue that the best thing to get my mind off the jam was to loudly sing me the song of his people; but other than that, he’s the best. 

So this Friday, we did our little circus act, I strapped him into his restraint and we got on our way. Everything was going smoothly. The first two hours, we drove freely and unhindered. I was in a fairly good mood when I pulled over at a rest stop for Pasha to stretch those long, spindly legs of his. We walked a couple paces, he took a good long piss against a trash can while no one was looking, then I took a good long piss against that same trash can because the bastards were charging for restroom usage, and we climbed back into our car for the next stretch.

The following eighty minutes went well enough, but around the one and a half-hour mark, Pasha was getting a bit fidgety. Naturally, I stopped and got him out, but he didn’t do anything. He just stood frozen on the ground beside the truck, staring straight ahead with his tubular nose pointing at something in the distance up ahead. Following his gaze, I couldn’t spot anything out of the ordinary. After several minutes of me trying to figure out what had him so uneasy, I decided I didn’t have time for this. I got him to hop back in and we drove on. There was a tunnel coming up in about two hundred-something meters, and by the time I reached it, mine was the only car on the road. What few others had been in front of me had taken the exit off to the right shortly before. 

So we headed into the tunnel. Totally normal. We always took this route, I basically knew it by heart at that point. It’s not like I had some kind of phobia or fear of tunnels, but for some reason, I felt extremely apprehensive all of a sudden. I purposefully slowed down, rolling up to the entrance at a tempered pace. The concrete arch looked very much like a dark maw to me at that moment. I was a tad ashamed of myself, really; I had no idea why I was so skittish when I had passed this same stretch of road hundreds of times before. It was nothing new to me, and yet, my skin erupted into gooseflesh as I got closer and closer to the tunnel.

And that’s when I saw it.

It was only there for a split second, but my weary eyes caught a glimpse of something that looked like an enormous hand. Six long, thin, coal-black fingers had gripped onto the outer edge of the concrete arch, and I spotted them just in time as they peeled off and withdrew, vanishing into the darkness inside. For a moment, my brain got “hung up”, just… temporarily stopped working as it tried to process the image my sense of vision had sent up to it. I gaped at the now still, unmoving, unsuspecting opening ahead of me, and before I could bring my car to a stop, I had already rolled on into the tunnel.

Pasha lost it. The second the concrete had swallowed us, he started howling and barking, frantically tossing his head and pounding the faded leather seat with his paws. He’d risen to his full height, or rather the extent of it the limited space of the truck and his restraint allowed, and he was raising hell. I couldn’t blame him. I was at a complete loss, and a part of me desperately wanted to hold onto the hope that what I had seen had merely been an illusion created by an overactive imagination and eyestrain. I didn’t stay in denial for long. Pasha kept pointing his snout up like he was trying to get my attention, and when I finally put two and two together, I remembered that I had a sunroof. 

I tipped my head back, looking through the glass at the ceiling of the tunnel outside, only for my heart to jump into my throat. There was something staring in at me, two wide eyes meeting mine. It was about five or six times the size of a person and of humanoid shape, but absolutely emaciated. Its skin was dark, not the normal kind of dark but literal jet black, and it didn’t appear to have a single hair on its head. The thing was clinging to the round top of the concrete corridor, its giant body curled up and flattened against the curve of the tunnel. I only managed to catch a quick peek at it before I instinctively whipped my head back down and stepped on the gas.

My truck lurched forward. The engine howled, Pasha howled. I howled. I was gripped by raw, naked terror; the hands with which I was clutching the steering wheel were laced with cold sweat and my chest felt as though it was going to burst. The light at the end of the tunnel was becoming brighter, bigger, closer, my unblinking gaze trained on it as I sped towards it for dear life. Glancing up through the sunroof, I could spot the creature scuttling across the length of the ceiling, its movements almost resembling those of a large spider. Squeezing the last possible bit of effort from my wailing truck, I tightened my grip on the wheel, knuckles turning white as a quiet prayer passed my lips. 

The thing arrived at the end of the tunnel at about the same time I did. Its two long arms swooped down like a bird of prey as it reached for me. My stomach turned, I pressed my eyes shut and, with a feral yank of the wheel, I sent my car swerving, dodging its long, greedy fingers by a hair’s breadth. Bright daylight enveloped me as I emerged from the tunnel. I did not even think of slowing down. I didn’t allow myself to look over my shoulder, but I knew I was safe again when I saw several other cars in the distance ahead. These things only come for me when I’m alone.

Pasha’s yowls had turned into whines and heavy, huffing snorts. I reached over to run a trembling hand through his silky fur. “You okay?” 

My dog leaned into the touch, nosing my lower arm. 

“I had a feeling you were trying to warn me. Sorry I didn’t listen.” I reached into the middle console to grab a small treat for him. He gently closed his teeth around it, careful as he took it from my shaking fingers. God, I love that animal.

We got in line with all the other vehicles. Seeing the other cars and the people behind the windows instilled within me a feeling of intense relief, like the weight of a boulder having been taken off my chest. The sun was beginning to sink below the horizon, painting the sky pink and ruby red. I watched, my soaring heart rate slowing at the pacifying sight. I didn’t want to have to get out of the car after dark, so I pulled over at the next possible stop. It was a bare, dreary little patch of asphalt where two trucks had parked, their owners most likely asleep inside. I rounded my truck to open the door for Pasha, who seemed all too happy to get his noodle nose out into the fresh air. He took a big dump on the side of the road, drank some water and then experienced a brief episode of the zoomies, likely brought on by the earlier tension.

I was stretching my legs and back as I watched him jump around, but my smile fell when he suddenly went still and ramrod straight. He was staring at something again, something I couldn’t make out. Whatever had caught his attention seemed to be located on the opposite side of the road, but between the cars rushing past and the gentle gleam of the evening redness, I couldn’t make out anything out of the ordinary. Still, I was not about to ignore my dog’s sixth sense again, so I hastily strapped him back into his seat and returned to my spot behind the wheel.

The next twenty minutes passed by uneventfully, but I was admittedly on edge. Pasha was alert, too; sitting upright and staring out the window with an alarming degree of focus. The road dragged on and on, and to my dismay, we were pretty much by ourselves again before long. We had reached the more rural stretch of the route, trees standing tall and dense to either side, seemingly scooting closer and closer as though they wanted to push their way forth to block my path. The moon was climbing higher in the sky by then, its silvery glow keeping my headlights company in the nightly darkness. A weak comfort. 

I never liked this part of the trip. One the one hand, it always means I’m nearing my destination, but I’m just so alone out in the wilderness. Unprotected. No other people, no one to help. No witnesses. Most of my worst experiences have happened while I was driving down this section.

That day would turn out to be no different. 

About an hour into the journey through the woodland was when I first spotted her. A glimpse of white by the side of the road, standing just behind the treeline, only partially visible. Gone in a flash. I shuddered, and my suspicions were confirmed when Pasha uttered a drawn-out, low growl. Here we go again.

Once you’ve seen something that’s caught your attention, you will most likely keep looking for it, even though you should really be focusing on something else. That’s how it was with me. I tried to keep my eyes and mind on the road ahead, looking only at what my headlights illuminated before me. In the back of my head, however, that little glimpse of white was fighting for dominance over my thoughts. I shoved it down, gnawing on my lower lip in hopes that the sting of my teeth would help me stay concentrated. Whenever a being doesn’t outwardly show itself, you can count on it waiting for the right moment. The fuckers are smart. They know how to make you nervous, how to drive you damn near crazy. It’s best not to look at whatever’s happening on the sides of the road. Eyes wide open and ahead, safe and strong and steely. That’s the only way.

I somehow managed to ignore the white spot that drew closer to my car from the left. Two minutes later, I could see her again out of the corner of my eye, approaching from my right this time. Cold dread seeped into my bones, fear pooling in the pit of my stomach like icy water. Pasha started barking again and my teeth drew blood from my lip. I could make out almost her entire form by then. She was small, scrawny, pale and blond. Her white dress fluttered around the bony shovels of her hips like it was spun from cobwebs, and I could see each bone shifting beneath as she moved. She was trying to distract me, I knew she was—too bad it was working. 

It took all my willpower not to slow down, not to abruptly pump the brakes everytime she appeared. My stomach jolted with each sudden appearance of the being, and I could practically feel her patience waning as she drew closer and closer each time in an attempt to startle me. I knew what she wanted. She would only stop when I was dead in a roadside ditch, crushed to jelly by my truck; perhaps wrapped around a tree or lying on its roof. I was not about to give her that satisfaction. 

Once more, I sped up my truck, the engine’s roar like a war cry as Pasha and I shot through the night. I lowered my head, my jaw set and my gaze pointing perfectly straight ahead. And then, seemingly appearing out of thin air, she simply stood in front of my truck, right there in the middle of the road. For a brief moment, I caught a glimpse of her face. It felt like there was an invisible rope tightening around my neck. Two wide, bulbous eyes met mine from within her frame of blond hair. They were sitting in the very middle of her head, taking up far too much space. She had no mouth, no nose, no nothing; just these gigantic, piercing eyes. Pasha let out a howl, panicking as he tugged against his restraint, and while I felt exactly the same, this brief moment of terror was over before it truly began.

A loud thump rang out as the ghostly woman was snatched up by my speeding vehicle, rolling up the hood of the truck before sailing over the roof. I didn’t swerve, didn’t brake, didn’t dare to look in the mirror. I kept on driving, leaving her laying there, wherever it was the momentum of my mighty car had propelled her to. About twenty minutes later, I finally allowed myself to relax, practically melting into my seat. Pasha had drawn himself up beside me, radiating victory, and I smiled and scratched his ear. “We did it, boy.”

I, too, felt weirdly proud of myself. Normally, only one of these things makes a pass at me, but I’d managed to evade two in a row. I was exhausted, my heart was still pounding like a sledgehammer, but damn, I felt good. Pasha and I enjoyed an uneventful remainder of the trip, and when I finally pulled up outside my partner’s remote little cabin, I was ready to drop for the night. The door, adorned by a rabbit’s paw, swung open with an ear-straining creak, and I stepped into the pitch-black interior. This was a comfortable, homely kind of darkness though, and I felt immediately at ease. Taking a deep breath, I sucked in the sweet smell of herbs, oils and incense. Pasha trotted in after me, and a smile came to my face when I heard him starting to munch and slobber away at something beside the entrance. He loves the food my partner makes, and I think it’s adorable of them to put out bowls for him in anticipation of our arrival. They always do that. They’re just so thoughtful.

“Hey, honey,” I called into the room.

“How was your journey, my soul?”

“Ugh.” I plopped down on the sofa beside them, sighing deeply upon feeling one of their four arms wrap around my shoulders. “They’re getting worse. There were two of them this time. I mean, I survived, so I don’t wanna mope around or anything.”

“They’re afraid of the offspring we might create. They want to keep us apart.”

“They won’t.”

[asukaskerian]

Monthly word count - September

TOTAL: 3 026 words :X

that's all?? it felt like more ;^;

POSTED: nop

IN PROGRESS: -bloodsport (390 words) -grimmichi superheroes AU (221 words) -madatobiizu cherry wine (1 537 words) -bleach suburban ot4 (878 words)

-- bloodsport -- "They checked out the historic neighborhood too, and the Ambassadors' Row where you'll be lodged eventually--"

Ichigo could see her losing patience with his shit behind her affable smile, and suddenly he was out of patience with it too, with himself. 

He still didn't want to do the tourist shit. But he needed to be doing something.

"What's the shittiest neighborhood you can get to in under an hour from here?" he asked, rolling his stiff shoulders and stuffing his hands deeper in his front pockets. 

Askin stared at him with his mouth open, and then moaned. "Oh nooo. Kurosaki, no. My man, my friend--"

"I'm not looking for a fight! I just --"

He forced himself silent, staring at the two Arrancars in front of him. Neither one was showing any inhuman traits right now, but he could feel them there. He could feel the whole room around him with that other sense that wasn't quite telekinesis -- that was, Urahara liked to say, to telekinesis what echolocation was to sound -- could feel the personnel discreetly waiting behind closed doors so he could have the lobby to himself, deferential and only vaguely annoyed that it was taking him so long to clear out. Askin was exasperated-worried-shielding; the Arrancars... 

The other one was small and thin and delicate-looking. They felt even more predatory than the woman.

Both of them, really, had the same fangy edge. Like cats watching a new creature wander by, trying to figure out if it was anything they could mangle or what.

Ichigo missed being unable to read an Arrancar's emotions properly. Normal human beings didn't feel things like that.

"If I'm going to live here," he said, firming his voice, his chin raised to meet their eyes in turn, "I don't want to only know the rich areas."

-- superheroes -- "So," Rukia said the moment they were out of the building and the rushing student crowds, and brought so much suspicion and emphasis on the word that Ishida and Inoue immediately went on alert like pointer dogs.

Behind them, Mizuiro and Chizuru arched their eyebrows; Asano blinked a full three seconds later. Okay, no escape from there, but at least when they drew closer it stopped anybody else from moving in too.

"Family trouble again?" Ishida asked, looking vaguely unimpressed, except for his wary, narrowed eyes.

"Eh... Sorta. Stray cat kinda wandered into my house and now we're nursing it back to health. It's, uh, bitchy." Ichigo made vague clawing motions with his hands and felt lame as hell.

Asano flopped against his shoulder to peer at his face; Ichigo sidestepped out from under him. "Hey! No, but there's something you're not telling here, Ichigo--"

"It's blue," Ichigo hissed under his breath.

Asano made a worried face and immediately huddled closer, telegraphing his sudden oh-no-big-secret-shhh! with every line of his body and every furtive (not) glance. "Whoa, whoa, buddy, that's, uh, not a cat then."

Groaning, Ichigo replied in the same exaggerated undertone, "you think?"

-- cherry wine -- "Send me Tatsuo next."

"Yes sir."

Izuna passed her as she went back into the receiving room, crossing the engawa and hopping down into the garden with him. "I'm back."

"Welcome back. News?"

"We're going to the theater this afternoon!" Izuna gave him a wide, insincere smile. "You had better not hate on the show, it was the best I could find."

"Huh." Madara arched an eyebrow. "Any reason why we must go, then?"

Izuna started counting on his fingers pointedly. "Because I want to see a show and you never want to go out; because we don't have any invitations for this afternoon so why not. Because I promised the Haruno sisters a date."

Madara ruthlessly shoved down the annoyance that wanted to bubble up at Izuna getting him involved in his social entanglements with strangers. Izuna had liked them, so it should be good enough for Madara -- and from Izuna's strange smile, the date wasn't even the point. 

"And?"

"We need to be seen out in town and not caring." A telling pause. "And it won't hurt if people assume we kept them around last night."

Decoy and political maneuver all at once. Alright.

After yesterday's clusterfuck of embarrassments and straight up ambushes -- the official apology, the tea party that was supposed to show unconcern and strength and instead got him drugged into a rut, the assault on Naohime trying to set them against the Senju and get them in trouble with the daimyos all over again -- they did need to do some damage control.

"Also you didn't even look at them last night!" Izuna added in a fit of pique, throwing his hands up exasperatedly. "I need some data if I'm gonna calibrate my search properly and they have really unique hair, which is the only thing you admitted to liking to me."

"--I see."

"It's all in really pure shades of pink! Not muddy or rusty at all, thick and long, everything, and they're both cute and they have very striking blue eyes to go with it, so visually they're great. As people they're also great, they're just looking for a fling and weren't weird about us being nobles or being shinobi, I will be so cross, niisan."

Madara swallowed back a chuckle. "Very well, I'll go."

-- suburban ot4 -- Grimmjow's face is still creased from the pillow. From the nap they just took, more of an excuse to curl up together and rest, keeping an ear out for Kazui. His hair is a mussed mess.

His face says 'please tell me I didn't hear what I just heard', but not in a hopeful way.

"... Kurosaki?"

Nelliel goes back to the mattress, sinks down to her knees at the edge. Behind her, Ichigo's feet shuffle tentatively. 

"Hey," Ichigo says, voice quiet, sad, guilty. "We're back."

Grimmjow stares up at him. He's still buried in comforters up to his hips. "Didn't go well, huh."

Another beat of silence, heavy. "No. The rental contract was -- we tried, he--"

"It's okay," Nelliel interrupts, gently, and doesn't look at him. "He changed the guest spots, yeah?"

"Fuck," Grimmjow mutters to himself, and rakes both hands over his face, jaw gone tight. "Fuck."

"I'm sorry. It's back to two guests now. I can't even say anything because that's just standard."

Nelliel and her package count as a single guest as long as the kid isn't out of her belly, and not a day longer. The second her child is born, that makes three.