#and we have some overlap in favorite numbers

[weaselle]

Early human match ups with animals

Wolves: have a very similar social structure and lifestyle as early humans, benefit greatly from group dynamics -- teaming up with humans allows them greater access to food at less risk, safer sleeping, higher pup survival rate, better protection from the environment. One wolf eats about as much food as one person, so it's a normal member to add to the group in terms of resources.

Cats: have some amount of social overlap (cat sisters often help raise each other's kittens, and grouping approaches common in some cat species, notably in lions, but also for example in cheetahs, where brother cheetahs often stay together for life in groups of up to 4). Humans are HUGE prey attractors for them, drawing in rodents in large numbers - also meaning people don't have to give up their own food to feed them. Human housing is safer from the elements, keeps competitors and dangers like snakes and larger cat species away. Associating with humans gains special grooming and healing unavailable to wild species, such as draining and cleaning abscesses caused by infected bug bites or, very importantly, feeding and caring through a major illness or injury. A wild cat with a broken leg will often die, a human's cat with a broken leg will live to hunt again.

Goats (which we actually turned into Sheep): Herd structure similar enough to human social structure as to be compatible. Guaranteed food during winter and other times of scarcity -- and none of it is human food. Higher offspring survival rate, robust protection from predators and the elements. Horses : same. Cows: same. Deer/caribou: same but a little less so, actually surprisingly good at both fight and flight (cows, specialize in fight, horses specialize in flight) often travel more distance for resources so have better access during lean times; can match but less beneficial to the deer.

Other animals be like

Big cats like Tigers: Why the fuck are there so many of you in one place. This cold doesn't bother me at all because i'm so big my core stays warm. Just what do you think i need protection from? I'm super capable of feeding myself, and even if food is scarce? you have to sacrifice enough food to feed several people to keep me fed, which is a bummer for your group if food is scarce, and i cannot eat your stored food like dried fruits and grains. Your lifestyle is incompatible with mine, i hate everything about being forced to live with you and also it doesn't benefit me at all. Lions: yeah, plus I already have all the group dynamic benefits you could offer me, you're actually the weakest link in my group, be careful or we might outnumber you, being near us all the time greatly increases the number of times murderous male lions attack this group

Bears: Listen. Even if i get injured i'll just eat something that doesn't run from me until i heal (some brown bear populations spend a couple months a year mainly eating moth colonies, they will eat anything, including moss and fungus). This makes me a direct competitor for ALL you food, btw. Speaking of which it takes like 15 people's worth of food to keep me fed. If i get angry someone is definitely going to die. Protection? from what? The most dangerous thing to a bear is another bear, so also you can't really have more than a couple of me in any group, and staying near me greatly increases the chance of some territorial wild bear rolling up to camp with murder on their mind. What do you meeeean keep wandering around actively instead of sleeping in one spot for months at a time? My life is literally worse with you than without you, and your life is probably worse with me around too.

Weasels: Fuck off you can't keep up with me i eat half my body weight in food every day and bite everything near me. Try to contain me and see what happens i'm made out of teeth and murder and cleverness, and destruction of property and theft are my favorite games and i'm basically always bored unless i'm hunting or fighting or fucking with something. What do you meeeean hold still for 30 seconds now i'm mad and you'll basically have to kill me to stop me from going after whatever i want forever. I will absolutely try to murder every other animal you associate with no matter what size it is, and i will totally also eat all of your other food too because i love fruits and fungus and anything else you like to eat probably - you can't keep me out of your food stores and what i don't eat in the moment i'll steal and hide in my own stash for later. Excuse me now i have to sleep for 18 hours i do not understand why you want to keep doing things for so much of the day.

Don't ask me about ferrets they must have been bought with rodent hunting opportunities like the cats, total fluke if you ask me (ferrets are, in fact, domesticated, after more than two thousand years of human intervention. And it's kind of weird that it happened but i think they were the exact right size to make it work)

I think it's a common misconception that domesticating animals is somewhat like enslaving them. It really is more of a symbiotic relationship. No wild animal would have willingly put up with early humans if they didn't get something out of it. Wolves wouldn't have stayed with us and become dogs if they weren't getting food and safety out of it. Many large herbivores that are now domesticated could and would have easily trampled their early human captors or broken their enclosures open if they didn't have a reason to stay. Sometimes individual animals still do if we don't give them what they need.

The animals that have stayed with us for thousands of years have evolved to cooperate with us better. Dogs have additional facial muscles around their eyes that wolves lack in order to mimic human facial expressions. Sheep grow their wool perpetually while their wild counterparts don't because a bigger fleece means they're more likely to be allowed to breed and be kept around. Domestic dairy cows produce much more milk than wild bovine species and domestic hens lay more eggs. Do you know how energy costly producing eggs or milk is for an animal? It's pretty intense! They wouldn't be able to do that if we hadn't given them the food and safety from predators and the elements to.

And we really need to show these animals respect and gratitude for what they give us by taking excellent care of them. They gave up a lot to be with us, often including the means to take care of themselves in the wild. That's a huge reason why I'm not against using animal products, but I hate factory farming. They are still living, breathing creatures with needs and feelings. They deserve a comfortable life and, when the time comes, a humane death.

[dirigibleplumbing]

my spouse (nonbinary, OCD, tourette's, ADHD) and I (woman, autistic, obsessive tendencies that are increasing but so far don't interfere with my quality of life) share a computer and have a silent battle every time we switch about whether the volume level is an odd number (them) or an even number (me)

[see-arcane]

Our good friend Jonathan Harker is getting ready to leave for his business trip, Mina Murray is picking out a new journal, Lucy Westenra is charming a gaggle of smitten suitors, Abraham van Helsing is wrapping up his lectures, and Castle Dracula is prepping the guest room for a very long stay.

Which must mean that Dracula Season is here again!

 ‘Dracula Season’ being a catchall term for the voracious reading, memeing, writing, illustrating, analyzing, and general fun-having that’s ensued since Matt Kirkland’s project, Dracula Daily, caught on with us back in 2022. The Substack had already been running before then, but it sparked a conflagration as time went on and readers old and new to Bram Stoker’s Dracula—the actual novel, not Coppola’s fanfiction—devoured it in a way that scratched an itch none of us knew we had. Stoker wrote the book in epistolary fashion, clumping sections together as needed for the pacing without perfect adherence to chronological order. Matt went ahead and put all the events in order and proceeded to set up a lovely chain of emails that delivered entries on those correlating dates.

This style of organization and pacing turned out to not only make the virtual book club that much easier to engage with, but left space in-between to stew on the story and relate with the characters themselves. Every day of waiting in the book feels weightier when you have to pace and sweat and worry in tandem with poor Jonathan trapped in the castle or Lucy wasting away or Mina running out the clock before she loses the fight for her own humanity. And while we sat with the story or the lulls between Dracula Seasons, some of us found ourselves craving more of that ghastly gothic horror goodness to the point that we figured:

“Well. Why don’t I make something?”

And then we did! Tons of creative works have been churned out in the wake of Dracula Daily’s high. I figured that while we’ve still got a bit of time to wait for May 3rd, we should check out all this new stuff in the meantime. (Plus a handful of neat stuff that just clicks with the Dracula itch overall.)

So, in the interest of Dracula Season pregaming, let’s take a look at…

FICTION

Blood of My Blood – A recent addition to the Dracula Bad Ending AU pile, and definitely one of the most harrowing and addictive group-produced narratives I’ve ever come across, Blood of My Blood is the dramatically gothic currently-WIP work of @ibrithir-was-here and @animate-mush’s devious design. Give or take a heap of other fascinated folks (hello!) adding ideas to put more Horror into the Horrors that our cast has to face. The premise:

The Transylvanian climax went fatally sour and the Harkers were forced to shelter with Dracula himself, including their half-vampire son, Quincey. Cut to two decades later, and Quincey finds himself out in modern London, smitten with Lu, adopted daughter of Arthur and Jack, and diving into certain bloodstained old documents that detail the real history of how his parents came to live in the castle. Said revelations coming not a moment too soon, as a storm is coming for him straight from the Carpathians…

Dracula Daily Sketch Collection – An array of illustrations that captures every entry beat by beat, the Dracula Daily Sketch Collection by Georgia Cook, alias @georgiacooked was dished out over the course of the last Dracula Season. Some of the most fun character designs out there.

Fanfiction Spotlight: BlueCatWriter – With a whopping 99 works devoted to the novel Dracula (so far, the number may have gone up since I blinked), @bluecatwriter is one of the most prolific and talented fanfiction scribblers out there. Romances, nightmares, and overlaps between the two seem to crop up the most, give or take a crossover. Seems fitting that those blue paw prints have contributed to BoMB too.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlefolk – An ongoing comic in which all your favorite characters from the Classics section get together and tackle some perils ranging from the mundane to the monstrous. Started by the amazing @mayhemchicken and posted on @lxgentlefolkcomic, this series is a love letter to beloved Victorian era lit, with a spotlight on the two couples leading the League. Namely, the Harkers, ala Dracula, and the Nortons, ala Sherlock Holmes,’ “A Scandal in Bohemia.” Mina and Irene are the driving investigative and steering forces here, and still deeply in love with their likewise-infatuated husbands, just like in their canons! What a concept! Alan.

Without spoiling the full character list, just know there are going to be a ton of familiar faces roaming around before you finish reading the first arc. Said arc having conveniently wrapped up just a few days ago! Give the comic and its bonus silliness a look if you’re in the mood for a new comfort-adventure epic.

Re: Dracula – Probably the most well-known and incredible thing to come out of the initial Dracula Daily wave. This podcast is a full audio drama that follows the same format as the Substack, with episodes coming out in time with the entries themselves. And it has an unfairly cool soundtrack. They have a Tumblr with @re-dracula, a site and a Patreon to check out before the series kicks up again on May 3rd. (Also, keep an eye out for their next work, an audio drama in the same style with Carmilla.)

The Soldier and the Solicitor – Another treat from @ibrithir-was-here, this one involves a bit of time travel trouble. Quincey Harker has stumbled out of World War I and into the same dark forest where his father once fled for his life…then runs into the man himself, on that same night. Jonathan Harker, young and starved and lost, who has no choice but to trust this stranger while the Weird Sisters are at his heels…despite said stranger having no shadow. It’s a tasty emotional trek, already complete on Tumblr, but now it’s turning into a Webtoon. While Ibrithir is juggling a number of other stories, she’ll be redrawing spruced up versions of the comic and adding a few new scenes as things unfold.

Substack Stack – You know what’s better than one emailed-out public domain book club? A mountain of them. Just. So, so many of them. You’ll see that a lot of these are finished, but some are still ticking along. Either way, they’re all great picks if you’re craving some more old school lit to fill the void between undead emails.

Frankenstein Weekly – Frankenstein

Jekyll and Hyde Weekly – The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Voyage of the Nautilus – Twenty-Thousand Leagues Under the Sea

Letters from Watson – Sherlock Holmes

The Invisible Mail – The Invisible Man

Letters from Bunny – E.W. Hornung’s short stories of the eponymous Bunny and Raffles

Letters Regarding Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse’s Bertie Wooster short stories, including the novel, Right Ho, Jeeves

…

……

………

…The Beetle Weekly – The Beetle (NOTE: Do Not Read This.)

The Vampyres – A novella I finally wrenched through the gears of self-publication as of March this year. Starring a petite but powerful paranormal cast, The Vampyres, centers on an unscrupulous undead fellow who finds that the revenants of the world are being mowed down by an entity known only as ‘Quinn Morse.’ Between trying to save his neck and figure out where the shadowy bastard came from, the Vampyre in question crosses paths with a new paramour and handy human shield in the form of a grieving Good Samaritan. He’s even polite enough to invite the Vampyre into his home while he’s in dire straits! Surely this will end well. All the info is available here and a little author site is over here.

What Manner of Man – This is the one made for everyone who started out hoping there’d be a real love story with our good friend Jonathan Harker and the Count when he was at his most charismatic. Where that sea of wonders dried up into a mire of horror, What Manner of Man by @stjohnstarling keeps things firmly on the romantic tracks. This Substack stars the letter-writing priest Father Victor E. Ardelian as he finds himself meeting with one enigmatic Lord Alistair Vane. It isn’t long before interest turns into intrigue and intrigue into undead intimacies.

The entire novel has been completed—along with multiple epilogues in the author’s Patreon, allowing readers to choose for themselves just how the uncanny romance plays out in the end—and the Substack now has a number of other gothic goodies piling up in the meantime.  

NONFICTION

Dracula Daily: A Unique Reading Experience: This one comes courtesy of @realwomenofgaming. It’s a short and sweet piece that amounts to a fun snapshot of the entire Dracula Daily ride. A cozy couple-minute read.

‘Dracula Daily’ is the One Substack You Need a Subscription To: Features my favorite Matt Kirkland interview. @mattkirkland, if you’re still floating around on here, thank you for dispatching our vampire newsletter again this year.

Dracula Daily is Tumblr’s hottest new book club: Alright, the ‘new’ part is worn out by now, but this one is still a delightful article to swing back around to. Two years on, this Polygon piece is a time capsule of those early months when people outside our bookworm bubble realized we were all happily receiving letters from our favorite classic gothic horror blorbos.  

“How Mina Murray Became Dracula’s Girlfriend” – Princess Weekes, if you ever read this, thank you, thank you, thank you. I am sending oceans of love and millions of rewatches to your video essay. If you haven’t seen it yet, “How Mina Murray Became Dracula’s Girlfriend” is one of the most refreshing and well-made breakdowns of both the title subject and numerous other issues that have proliferated in the public view of Dracula’s cast and plot as adaptations endlessly warp or outright bastardize the actual novel. An incredibly cathartic watch.  

Literary play gone viral: delight, intertextuality, and challenges to normative interpretations through the digital serialization of Dracula: A mouthful of a title for an even more elaborate article about the Dracula Daily phenomenon. This one is a full-on study that analyzes just what happened within the big bloodsucker book club surge and how its ‘wandering reading practices’ enriched the experience for participants.

 “The Undying Undead: An analysis of the Dracula Daily community for a theory of online community formation and interaction” – We have a thesis on here! Look at that! @sirangelothebestest’s MA thesis used our vampiric book club as the bones for a massive brick of an academic piece that definitely deserves a look.

…And I think I’ll go ahead and cap things here.

This isn’t everything I got recommended, but if I had squashed all of it in here, I think folks’ eyes would start to fall out of their head. I hope you can find something cool to comb through here. Or, if there’s something great I overlooked, tack it onto the list! We’ve got just two weeks to go until we’re off with Mr. Harker. Let’s enjoy our respite before those castle doors close behind us.

[hyperballart]

last nite

art donaldson x patrick zweig x reader !

art and patrick aren’t exactly subtle, and you are the push they didn’t know they needed.

(18+ pls!!)

author’s note: that one bitch (me) who doesn’t play about homoerotic friendships… this is mostly artrick but they all get nasty trust!

the swishing of the cheap beer from art’s mini fridge overlaps the song playing from the radio. it was something you recognized from this new york band you really liked—your friend had gifted you that record for your birthday a few years prior—you hummed out the tune as you sat on the desk chair of your friend’s dorm room, periodically lifting your gaze to the two boys also sharing the space.

you and patrick met at a local band’s show, that same night ended with you being pushed into the dark bathroom of the bar it was held at and you nearly swallowing each other’s tongues. he whispered into your ear about how good you tasted, how nice your ass felt in his hands, how fucking sexy you looked dancing out there. and after he bent you over the sink to get a taste of your sweet cunt and you returned the favor, the brunette gave you his number—it surprised you, that he wanted to continue seeing you and maybe take it further. it wasn’t until a couple hangouts that you met art.

he was by definition a good boy. always respectful and cordial around you, sweet, and even bashful at times. you coincidentally attended the same university—even shared common friends other than patrick. the three of you became well acquainted quickly. movie nights in art’s dorm when patrick came to visit, night drives to the beach, it was all simple and fun.

of course you and patrick hooked up whenever he came around, which seemed to frequent as he was on a month-long break from tour. on one of those particular nights, as you were riding him, somehow the topic of art came up.

“saw him at practice last week,” you take his earlobe between your teeth and slightly tug, “he’s really good.”

patrick stutters his hips and unwillingly twitches inside of you, as if images of his best friend playing flashed through his brain in those few seconds, “fuck, yeah he’s always been good.” his brain is too foggy to comprehend that he’s given away something you’ve been suspecting for a while—and you’ll keep digging to find what you really want.

you look down at him on the bed and notice how his mouth has dropped a bit further and his eyes become more slanted, you push your fingers into his mouth which he automatically starts to suck, and you ride him until he’s whimpering around them and filling you up. you’ll get something else out of him soon.

the next time happens to be the night right after, you’re at your favorite ice cream place and decide it’s the right time to keep prodding.

“you and art—you seem pretty close—how long have you known each other again?” you scrape the sides of your cup from the melted treat and look at him eating his.

“well, we went to boarding school together,” patrick speaks with some waffle cone bits crunching in his mouth—a horrible habit of his you have come to detest from the few months of knowing him—“we shared a room since we were 12, i think i’ve mentioned this,” he swallows everything in his mouth down and continues, “we are pretty close. we’d get teased for it a lot in school—i never really gave a fuck but you know art. he takes things to heart.”

“right, i can see that,” you didn’t exactly plan out how you were going to lead him to where you wanted but you get an idea, “i wanna know more. tell me some fun stories, i can imagine you two got up to a lot of trouble,” you fully turn to face him in your seat.

he racks his brain for a while and eventually, “one time i got caught with porno magazines under my bed and i blamed art. it was this whole thing—his grandma gave him an earful over the phone—god she was pissed,” a chuckle leaves him as he recalls the story, “anyway, we almost got kicked out and he didn’t speak to me for weeks. can’t remember how we made up or how i even got in possession of those magazines but we definitely learned our lesson.”

you’re giggling, “god you’re awful, what else have you put poor innocent art through?”

he turns to face you now, “i taught him everything he knows,” a smug smirk slowly takes over his expression, “ taught him how to kiss and how to jerk off. poor thing didn’t even know how to handle morning wood before i showed him.”

and there’s your chance, “so you two have like…”

he pauses and takes in your assumption, “oh god no, not like that,” a hand runs down his face quickly as a laugh of disbelief leaves him. “we’ve never—would never go there, you know? no shame to anyone who does we just—it was practice before we started dating and all that. was just helping him out.”

and well, that gave you enough of an incentive.

now you’re all in art’s dorm, a little buzzed from the alcohol and tired from a day at the beach. patrick sits on a small couch with his legs spread. both boys have decided to forgo their shirts, only in their swim trunks—patrick’s much shorter than the blonde’s. you still in your bikini top and tiny jean shorts.

“what about that girl you were seeing, what’s her name again?” patrick interrogates a clearly agitated art who sits on the floor rolling his eyes.

“i told you that’s over, she wasn’t looking for anything serious and i found out the hard way.”

“he means he saw her making out with one of his buddies at a frat party,” you add smirking over your bottle.

“okay, fuck off first of all—“

“hey, man calm down, look—“ patrick interjected, “there’s lots of chicks that would bang you, i’m sure a pretty boy like you has no problem getting laid. go charm up some nice girl that volunteers at the soup kitchen on her free time and—“

“fuck you patrick.” there’s no malice behind his words though—and you can spot the blush that takes over his pale complexion at the previous remark as he shakes his head. “it’s easy for you to say,” he looks up at you as he says it, “you guys fuck like rabbits any chance you get.”

“is that what it is then? you being pent up?” you cut in. “there’s lot of girls here who would love to fuck you, artie. you’re telling me none have caught your eye?”

art is silent, looking to see what patrick was thinking, but the latter simply looks curious—excited almost— and so he just sits picking at the hem of his shorts.

“oh i get it,” you continue, “you’re jealous. you think i’m taking your precious best friend away, don’t you?” you slide down from the chair to take a spot right next to him and whisper the next thing so only he hears, “you are jealous. don’t worry, we can share him.”

you pull back to see his pupils dilated and his mouth slightly parted, in shock and arousal—maybe even in acceptance. you can’t help the small grin as you look from him to the other still sitting on the couch, you can see his chest rising a bit heavier now.

you feel that as an agreement from both as you perch on the bed and call them both to follow at each of your sides. you can feel them eyeing you and for a split second, you see them staring at each other in a way that surpasses anything platonic they insist on having.

when you feel them both lean in to opposite sides of your neck you halt their movements. a look of confusion passes through their faces as they wait for you to explain.

“i think you guys have some making up to do,” the look on their faces creases further, “art, aren’t you curious to feel what his lips are like again? i have a feeling he has improved greatly since you were 13.”

art’s face falls, he looks at patrick in annoyance, “you said you would never tell, dude what the fuck.”

patrick just shrugs, still wanting to proceed. “i told you, that was only for practice. we’re grown now.”

“sure,” you pretend to let it go and you have on a stupid smile that he just wants to kiss off your face. you start leaning towards patrick and grant him that wish, using your hand on his jaw to give you access to his tongue. it quickly becomes heated, you land on his lap and grind yourself on the hard bulge in his trunks. his big hand gropes your ass and he moans greedily in your mouth. you pull away and let him suck and nip on the length of your neck before looking at art, who looks pitiful with his mouth hung open and his eyes lingering on the spot where patrick is occupied. a smirk returns to your swollen lips.

you tug on patricks hair and swivel even harder on his dick, leading to him groaning out a fuck me baby, and you swear you see art’s cock twitch under the layer of thin clothing. you leave patricks lap despite his efforts to keep you there, now sat on the pretty blonde who can’t seem to figure out what to do with his hands. you stop his stressing when you place both of his palms on your hips, trailing them up to your barely-covered tits where he gives a soft squeeze and lets out a little whine. you finally lean down to kiss him and it’s as you’d expect from him—tentative and soft. a kiss you’d get from a boyfriend after a nice dinner date—not from whatever this was.

he lets out hums and low moans, but you can tell he’s getting desperate. god knows how long it’s been since he’s fucked something other than his hand. you pull away and return to your spot between them. they instantly both try to catch your lips, it’s messy with all three of you licking and sucking and kissing. at this point no one knows whose mouth is whose, and it doesn’t even matter because suddenly you’re pulling off. you lean back to catch your breath and then you see them.

they lick into each other’s mouths, art is mewling and patrick grips his curls to hold him in place. they seem to catch on after a ridiculous amount of time but when they do, they stare at you while they’re heaving breaths.

“are you guys gonna take care of that?” you look down at their laps, both having matching leaks of pre bleeding through their shorts. “come on get them out, you’ve seen each other plenty before right? nothing to be shy of.”

they both listen, each erection slapping up and standing on its own. it’s obscene and you dont think you’ve ever been this wet in your life. art’s cock is so pretty—you think—pink and curved. he is smooth, you always had assumed he would be anyway. you can tell he takes good care of himself, his balls the same flushed pink he gets on his cheeks when you tease him. the tip of him is so red, a dribble of white streaming down when he notices your attention on his cock—you almost coo at it when it twitches.

then you look at patrick. that same cock you love and worship. he’s thicker in girth, your pussy pulsates when your mind trails to the stretch he gives you. his balls are heavy, and he doesn’t ever fully shave them. you like them like that—the musk and how they give friction to your clit when hes fucking you. he’s also drooling from his tip. you decide to start off slow.

you scoot forwards and extend your arms to their laps. each one of your hands holds them and at the contact, they can’t help but buck their hips. you think it’s adorable to see them synchronized like that.

“ah, shit!” patrick throws his head back and looks down at you jerking him off, then looks to his right at the other cock in your hand and shakes his head in disbelief, “i can’t—fuck—i can’t believe you’re doing this.”

“i see the way you look at him, pat,” you quicken the speed of your hands and both of them cry out, “i gave you both what you wanted, handed on a silver fucking platter. i think you should be a little more grateful. in fact, my hands are getting tired,” and with that, you cut all contact with them and you can quite literally see them wilt.

“wha- no, please,” art manages to get through a whine, “my hand doesn’t—it doesn’t feel as good i’m so hard it hurts, please—“

“who said anything about using your own hand?”you cut him off.

patrick hesitantly stretches his arm over his friend’s lap, “we’re just,” his fingers make contact with art’s dick and he almost drools, “helping each other out.” an experimental tug has his back arching and makes him shut his eyes tight.

“pat-patrick—oh fuck.”

one would think art already came by how much he’s wetting his friend’s hand, and patrick seems to be mesmerized by the sight. “holy fuck art, look at how much you’re spilling,” as if on cue, that makes him squirt out more. art is gripping his sheets and his eyes dart from the hand stroking him fast and the boy in front of him.

“i’m—don’t go so fucking fast,” art tries to get out, “it’s been a while if—nghh—if you don’t slow down i’m gonna—fuck!” patrick clearly enjoys this as he can’t help laughing at his state.

“don’t tell me you’re a virgin, artie,” he slows down but continues teasing, “thought i taught you how to hold off better than that.”

and while you’d love to keep watching art squirm under his torture, you stop him, “i got an idea.”

patrick reluctantly pulls away and they both now stare expectantly, “push both of your cocks together, here like this—“ you direct them to sit with their legs spread in front of each other, overlapping and then you position them how you want them.

they can’t even speak, they’re just panting and looking down at the contact until you continue, “come on pat, hold both of them together,” you watch as he does so and grimaces trying to hold off, “look at that, your tips are kissing—how cute.”

they both whine and patrick mutters a shut up under his breath.

after a minute of heavy breathing, patricks large hand slowly strokes down on both of their cocks. it’s so wet, the sound of the slicking lewdly filling up the room but the sound of their cries is almost enough to drown it out. art is almost sobbing at this point, you’ve never heard someone sound so desperate. they almost can’t bare the friction of each other, their tangled legs twitching and shaking.

you almost start to get annoyed at how slow patrick is going for the sake of making the feeling last, but in a way you think it’s sweet. the years they’ve held off on each other finally leading to this—they deserved it. you’re still annoyed tho.

“go faster,” as the words leave your mouth they both mewl and shake their heads, “you look so hot like this, i’m so wet. i’m thinking of letting you both fuck me—at the same time. just like this, both in my cunt,” patrick’s hand loosens his grip he is almost shivering now, he has to hold off, “why’d you let go, hm?” you pull his hand back on, “i want you both to imagine it, it’s gonna be a tighter fit than this,” you pull your hand over patrick’s and tighten the grip hard, “there you go.”

art can’t even make out words anymore, the second he heard you say you wanted them both at once, his ears started ringing. as if that wasn’t enough, the tightened grip made him moan out pleas over and over. when he looks down, he knows he can’t hold longer and he lets you both know, “i’m gonna, i can’t it’s too much, too much, too tight i—“

you take this as your chance to do what you wanted since you saw the tent in his shorts, you lean down to where they are connected and suckle on his tip and that does it. he sobs out a curse and starts twitching, he cums all over your lips and patrick, you can’t believe how much is coming out of him.

patrick just about loses his mind when he sees it all happen. it’s a miracle he lasted over two minutes like this and he’s about to pass out, “oh fuck me, yeah fucking soak that dick—oh god— you’re so wet—how do you get this fucking—“ he suddenly yanks art by his neck and fucks his tongue into his mouth again, and even tho he is still dizzy from his orgasm, he kisses back just as messily. that’s the final straw for patrick to cum all over them and squeeze their tips together for the last time that night.

you watch it all happen with a lazy smile. they both lay down, still out of it while you scratch their heads gently and murmur sweet affirmations to them. you’re between them and it feels just right. you don’t need to talk about what happened just yet. just sleepily kiss each other until you knock out.

they’ll make up not making you cum tomorrow, you can picture them both licking between your legs and when they take turns suckling your clit, you’ll pretend not to notice how they’re jerking each other off out of your sight <3

[fluentmoviequoter]

Hot or Cold

Requested Here!

Pairing: David 'Deacon' Kay x fem!reader

Summary: You work in a coffee shop, and when you are trapped in the fridge during a robbery, you can only hope that your boyfriend Deacon will find you.

Warnings: armed robbery, violence against reader, angst to fluff & hurt/comfort.

Word Count: 2.7k+ words

Picture from Pinterest

“How’s the handsome boyfriend?” your coworker asks as you wipe down the front counter. “Still dreamy and treating you right?”

You chuckle at the thought of Deacon not being dreamy or treating you right, an impossibility. “Yes, he is.”

The bell over the door of the coffee shop rings, and you abandon the conversation about Deacon to do your job.

“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask… does Deacon have any single cop friends?”

Reading the name on the latte you just prepared, you shake your head. If you were in her place, and she had a boyfriend like Deacon, you’d want to know where to find one.

“Thanks,” the man says as he takes the cup.

“Have a nice day!” You turn toward your coworker to answer, “Honestly, I don’t know. Street’s still in his ‘will-they-won’t-they’ thing with Chris, Tan is, well he’s Tan… the new guy might be single.”

“I don’t know who any of those people are.”

“You shouldn’t. I can check for you though; if I’m right, you’d be cute together.”

“Is he as easy on the eyes as Deacon?”

“Nope,” you answer with a smile.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Man, I would kill for an espresso after that,” Rocker groans.

Luca waves his hands in a ‘stop talking’ motion before Deacon hears any reference to coffee. Luca loves you, but Deacon has difficulty stopping once you’re mentioned.

“Too bad you don’t have time,” Deacon answers instead. “We got another call. Up, buddy.”

Rocker rolls his eyes before standing.

“What now?”

“Another bank robbery. You should’ve gotten a coffee when you had the chance; it’s going to be a long day,” Hondo answers.

Deacon nods at the idea of coffee, a picture of you making him feel a little more awake.

✯✯✯✯✯

“What is going on today?” someone asks, sitting back after a mad rush.

“Are you referring to the caffeine addiction of Los Angeles or the continuous sirens? Because I have no answer for either,” you answer, leaning on the counter.

“All these sirens and no single cops or firefighters to accept my number,” another voice sighs, joining your small huddle.

“Why don’t you guys head out early? I can close up, I know it’s been a long day,” you offer.

“Are you serious?”

“Sure. You can just cover for me when I don’t want the early shift next weekend.”

They weigh their options before you get a group hug and overlapping expressions of gratitude.

“Yeah, yeah, get out of here,” you mutter, shoving them toward the small locker room-like area at the back.

“You’re the best!”

“I know.”

As the door closes, their voices fading into the alley, you take a deep breath. You feel like you’ve been on the move all day, with people in and out without a break. Your phone shows no messages or calls from Deacon, but you hope to see him tonight.

“Okay,” you whisper to yourself, pushing off the counter as you prepare to close.

You lay your phone on the counter and turn on some quiet music, focusing on getting finished and home to Deacon’s house as soon as possible. The counters are cleaned, and the dirty dishes are loaded into the industrial-sized dishwasher, so you're nearly done. As you begin sweeping the floor, someone opens the door.

“Sorry, we’re closing,” you say, moving toward the door to lock it. “The Starbucks down the street is open all night.”

“They have better security,” the man replies, keeping his foot pressed against the door so you can’t close it.

You drop the broom and step back, reaching for your cell phone on the counter to call for help. The man barges in, locking the door behind him as he points a gun at you.

“Don’t move,” he demands.

Deacon is in your favorites list, so it would only take two taps on the screen to call him. You raise your hands before stepping toward the counter. You don’t get to your phone before the man hits the back of your head, knocking you into a nearby table. Holding your ribs, you try to stand but kick a chair on accident and fall to the floor.

“Are you going to keep being a problem or can you sit there and be quiet?” the man asks with his gun at his side.

“I’ll be quiet,” you answer lowly.

He cocks his head, looking around. Stepping back, he slides your phone behind the counter so you can’t reach it easily.

“You’ll forgive me if I don’t believe you,” he says, pushing you back on the floor.

“No,” you mumble, trying to fight him off of you.

“And you said you wouldn’t be trouble,” he almost growls, bringing the butt of his gun and the hard side of his hand down on your temple.

The impact disorients you; all you can do is grab his hand as he hauls you toward the walk-in fridge. When he pushes you inside and winks before closing the door, the severity of the situation finally reaches you. 

“Don’t do this! Take whatever you want but let me out,” you scream, banging on the large metal door.

Your head pounds with each movement, and when you graze your hairline with your fingers, you hiss when you reach the broken skin. Stepping further into the fridge, you shiver under the vent and sink to the floor, fighting dizziness and nausea as your head aches. With no way to call for help, you should try to stay warm, but the pain in your head and fear that no one will find you until morning influence you to close your eyes.

Outside the fridge, the thief sings along to the song playing from your phone as he empties the cash register into his small bag. Nodding at his earnings, he steps toward the door before taking the last muffin out of the display case.

✯✯✯✯✯

Deacon glances down at his watch. You have a habit of offering to close after long days, but even if you stayed, you should be getting home about now. Deacon smiles at the thought of you doing what you usually do: passing your driveway to pull into his own. You’ve been neighbors almost as long as you’ve been dating, though his house seems to be a landing place for both of you.

“20-David to command,” Hondo radios from inside the bank. “We’re Code 4.”

Deacon sighs, lowering his weapon and standing from his hidden position. He pulls his phone from his pocket, surprised to see no notifications from you. Maybe you had a day like he did.

Rushing home to hold you after a long day, Deacon slows beside your driveway, nodding when he sees it empty. But, when he sees your car isn’t in his driveway either, his brows furrow as he wavers between surprise and concern.

Shifting his car into park, he presses your contact, waiting until he gets your voicemail. He texts you to call him ASAP, and after a minute with no acknowledgment, he calls you again. Taking a deep breath in his attempt to stay calm, he dials the number for the coffee shop and prays to hear your voice. The line beeps before your recorded voice greets him.

“Answer,” Deacon begs as the dial tone begins again. “Hey, Luca, I need your help with something. You got a minute?”

“Yeah, of course, anything for you, man,” Luca replies.

Deacon says your name before running a hand across his mouth. “She’s not home and she’s not answering her cell phone or the coffee shop line.”

“Anywhere else she’d be?” Luca asks, shuffling on the other side of the line.

“Not this late. I’m going to drive over to the coffee shop,” Deacon adds.

“We’ll meet you there. Street and I are only a couple blocks away. We’ll find her, Deac.”

Deacon thanks him as he backs out of his driveway. The coffee shop is a ten-minute drive that feels like an eternity.

✯✯✯✯✯

Street and Luca are coming out of the alley when Deacon rushes onto the sidewalk.

“Hey,” Street greets. “The lights were off when we got here. Back door is locked, and her car is still here.”

“Did you try the door?” Deacon asks. 

“Not this one; we just got here,” Luca replies.

“Thank you for coming so late.”

“Of course. We’re here for you and her, Deacon.”

Deacon nods, taking a deep breath as he pushes the door open. He glances at Luca, who tilts his head in concern. Luca and Street enter behind Deacon, their hands at their sides and ready to pull their weapons if needed. There’s quiet music playing from somewhere in the building, and Street nods to Luca as he breaks off to find the source.

“Deacon,” Street calls quietly. He stands from behind the counter and holds up your phone.

Deacon swallows harshly, looking toward the back.

“Let’s clear the building and we’ll go from there,” Deacon instructs quietly.

Street and Luca nod, moving slowly and silently until they’re sure the building is empty. Deacon turns on a light in the back, frowning when he sees your bag in its regular storage spot.

“The cash register is empty,” Luca calls, his voice raised after concluding there is no immediate threat.

✯✯✯✯✯

You hear a voice outside and blink rapidly, forcing yourself to focus. With your arms wrapped tightly around you, your shivers are growing in strength as you grow weak and disoriented.

“Where- go- night?” someone asks, their voice breaking as you strain to listen through the thick metal of the fridge.

The voice sounds familiar, and you summon what little strength you have left to bang on the door. It’s quiet, and as your hand slides down the cold metal, your blinks slow.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Wait,” Deacon demands, raising a hand to quiet Luca and Street. “Did you hear that? Something made a knocking noise.”

He walks toward the fridge, the only place they didn’t check during their initial sweep. Luca nods, standing behind Deacon as Street unlocks and opens the door. Deacon sees you slumped on the floor and rushes in. 

“Dea- David?” you mumble, your eyes lidded as you look up at him.

“Hey, yeah, I’m here. I got you, sweetheart,” he soothes, laying his hands on your shoulders.

“I’ll call it in,” Street says before reporting the robbery and requesting an ambulance.

“We need to get you out of here,” Deacon says quietly, pulling you against his chest.

He stands slowly, cradling your shivering form to his chest. Once Luca closes the fridge, Deacon sits on the floor, taking his jacket off and wrapping it around your shoulders. He moves you gently to make sure all of your clothes are dry. Sliding his fingers onto your pulse point, he calculates your heart rate with a frown.

“Hypothermia?” Luca asks quietly, passing Deacon a nearby jacket.

Deacon nods, laying it over your hips as he lets you lean against him.

“Ambulance is here, Deac,” Street alerts. “Is she okay?”

“She has to be,” Deacon and Luca answer together.

✯✯✯✯✯

Deacon and Luca follow the ambulance in Deacon’s car while Street returns home, telling the team what happened. They sit together in the waiting room, sharing their concern and sympathies without speaking.

A nurse exits and says your name, smiling as Deacon and Luca rush to her side.

“The doctor wants to talk to you. Relatives?” she asks.

“He is,” Luca answers. “I’m just a friend.”

“Then I’m going to ask you to wait here.”

“No problem. We’re here for you, Deac.”

Deacon nods, whispering, “Thank you,” as he follows the nurse into the hospital.

“You found her in plenty of time, sir,” the doctor says with a kind smile. “She’s suffering from hypothermia and some surface-level injuries. Despite that nasty bump on her head, we don’t see any indications of a concussion.”

“Thanks, doc. How bad is the hypothermia?” Deacon asks.

“We caught it very early. She’s warming up; temperature was right around 94, so it isn't too severe.”

“Can I see her?”

“Of course. Let me know if you have any other questions, and I’ll be back by soon.”

Deacon steps into your room quietly, looking at you with a sad smile. Dressed in the thin hospital gown with heated blankets and heat packs on your chest and neck.

“’S not as warm as you,” you mumble with your eyes closed.

Deacon smiles, pulling a chair up beside your bed. “Working better though,” he says quietly.

You turn your head toward him and smile as you open your eyes. “Thanks for finding me. It wouldn’t be as much fun to get in trouble without you around to save me.”

“Well no more trouble for a while, okay? Because that was terrifying.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Robbery is working on catching the guy.”

“He stole my muffin.”

Deacon chuckles before offering, “I’ll make you a whole batch to make up.”

“You should’ve been a baker, not a cop.”

“I’m not sure I’m the house-husband type.”

“Trophy husband for sure,” you correct with a nod. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

✯✯✯✯✯

When you get discharged, Deacon takes you back to his house, and you notice that someone has moved your car back to your driveway. After getting you comfortable on the couch, Deacon begins rushing back and forth, doing everything the doctor recommended and then some.

“Deac,” you call when he rushes by again.

He stops and backpedals into the living room. “Do you need something?”

“Yes. I need you to sit with me. You’ve done more than enough, and I just need your company right now.”

Deacon smiles and whispers an apology as he sits beside you, holding you close. You cuddle into his side, focusing on your favorite movie. When you kick the blankets off, barely moving as you struggle, Deacon stops himself from acting again.

“Need help?” he asks, running a hand down your spine.

You nod slowly against his chest, and he reaches across you to remove the blanket.

“Want to you want for dinner?”

“Not hungry.”

Deacon looks at his watch, furrowing his brows when he notices it’s been nearly twelve hours since you ate at the hospital, and who knows how long before that.

“You really need to eat something,” he urges kindly.

Your weight increases on him as you shake your head and close your eyes. When your forehead hits Deacon’s arm, he’s surprised to feel how warm you are. He retrieves a thermometer from the small care kit he assembled in his concern-filled frenzy.

“You have a fever,” Deacon tells you. “It’s pretty high, so I’m going to call the doctor.”

“Stay here,” you mumble, grasping at Deacon’s shirt.

He wraps his arm around you, tugging you closer as he raises his phone to his ear.

“Hello, this is Deacon Kay… Yes, ma’am… She has a fever of 103.2, she’s not wanting to eat, and she’s very weak... I will. Thank you.”

“What’d they say?” you ask as he sets his phone down.

“They think it’s probably just the stress of what you went through, or maybe an upper respiratory infection from the cold. I’m supposed to keep you hydrated, medicated, and happy, and call if anything changes.”

You nod, nuzzling closer to him as he chuckles. It doesn’t take much coaxing from him to convince you to take some medicine, drink lots of water, and take a few bites of your favorite food, especially when he promises to hold your hand through it all.

✯✯✯✯✯

When you wake up the following morning, wrapped in Deacon’s arms, the fever is lower but not gone. 

“More water,” Deacon demands.

“You’re bossy.”

“Trophy boyfriends are allowed to be.”

“Trophy husband,” you correct.

“Are you proposing?” he teases.

You take a minute to consider before asking, “Would you say yes?”

“In a heartbeat.”

“Then you just wait until I feel better, Kay.”

He smiles, pulling a lightweight blanket over you as your fever finally breaks.

“You’re still worried,” you accuse, sitting up to look at him.

“Of course, I am. I came home and you weren’t here, and then weren’t answering your phone. It’s only because of Luca and Street that I was able to find you without panicking.”

“Then we should have them over for dinner to thank them. Although, I know you would’ve found me without them.”

“I’ll always find you,” he promises.

“Even when I can’t decide whether to be hot or cold?”

“I love you either way,” Deacon replies, matching your tone as he kisses your forehead.

[joblrcensus]

it’s time for the JOblr census results 🧡🙌

before we start i want to thank everyone who took their time to answer this silly little project, gathering responses from 203 baby boos!! it’s my first time doing this so hopefully i can bring some excitement with the results <3

so buckle up and let’s get into it

general questions

Which continent are you from?

Unsurprisingly, the majority is European with a total of 80.8% but it’s amazing to see that they’ve crossed the continent’s border and we also have 9.9% people from North America, 3.9% from Australia & Oceania, 3.4% from Asia and 2% from South America. No person chose the Africa option.

Which country are you from? (optional)

With this being an optional question, 162 respondents out of 203 opted to answer it. Let’s take a look at the top countries by number of people in JOblr (small note: I counted the few people who wrote England or Scotland as part of the UK answer)

Drumrolls 🥁…..

Finland - 29

UK & USA - 15

Germany - 11

Poland - 9

Italy - 8

Australia - 7

Sweden - 6

Austria, Spain, The Netherlands - 5

Croatia, Slovenia - 4

Czechia, France, Romania - 3

Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Hungary, Lithuania, Norway, Philippines, Portugal, Ukraine - 2

Bolivia, Brazil, China, Estonia, Greece, Iceland, India, Luxembourg, Malta, Mexico, Russia, Switzerland - 1

How old are you?

45.8% of us are between 18-25, following by 23.6% between 26-30, 18.2% between 31-45, 10.8% under 18 and two people who are over 45 years old.

Are you part of the LGBTQ+ community?

Remember when they said Joker Out are for the girls and gays? 🏳️‍🌈

Well that was absolutely not wrong since 77.3% baby boos answered that yes they are part of the community, while 11.8% are questioning and 10.8% have answered no

tumblr activity questions

How do you participate on JOblr?

a majority of 98 people are mostly reblogging posts in the fandom but sometimes making posts of their own, 38 are only reblogging while 36 lurkers have stepped out of the shadow and made themselves known. The least amount of people (31) said to be active posters

Do you post any of the following?

It’s already known this fandom is mad talented and entertaining!! It’s always a joy seeing everyone’s creations and posts no matter the type. And the people who are only enjoying and supporting the content are just as important 🫶

Do you also post about Käärijä?

Since these two fandoms are basically overlapping, sometimes even seen as one fandom, I was curious just how much

50.7% also post about Käärijä outside of Joker Out, while 35% don’t post about him at all (or perhaps very rarely). 14.3% are mainly coming from Käärijä’s fandom

joker out questions

How did you find out about Joker Out?

Another unsurprising result, with 89.7% of us finding out about them through Eurovision. But it was really cool to see that there are people who discovered them differently. Ten people found out about them through Tumblr or other social media, to four they were recommended by someone and one through a music platform. The “other” option was chosen as well and included:

finding out about JO through Käärijä

through a music blog review

on slovenian radio

Who from the current members is your favorite?

One of the hardest questions but it had to be done

So Tumblr’s top favorite members areee:

Bojan - 69 votes

Jan - 42 votes

Kris - 40 votes

Nace - 35 votes

Jure - 17 votes

Have you been to a Joker Out concert?

I did not expect this one to be so balanced but I am pleasantly surprised! 104 people have been to a JO concert, while 99 haven’t. It often feels like you’re the only person who hasn’t seen them live yet but it’s nice to see that you’re not alone, so if anyone feels the same don’t worry our time will come too 🥹

If you answered yes, have you seen them multiple times?

Out of the 104 people who previously answered yes, there’s still a balance between those who have been to only one concert and those who have been to multiple

If you’re into RPF, which one of the most popular ships (according to AO3) is your favorite?

Another optional question where 181 out of 203 opted to respond to.

Oh boy, ooooh boy this was a tough battle. It felt like I was watching a horse race. I can tell you that all three ships have been at some point in the first place, or even equal. Are you ready to see the most interesting result yet?

Drumrolls again 🥁…….

BoJere - 58 votes

BoKris - 57 votes

Jance - 56 votes

The “other” option was also chosen and the following ships were included:

BoMartin

Jan/Jure

Kris/Jure

Nace/Kris

Nace/Jere

poly!JO

aaaand that’s it, you made it to the end 🫶 hope you enjoyed and why not see you on the next census!!

[thescarletnargacuga]

You are such a talented writer! I have a suggestion! What if Caine gets plagued by nightmares (or visions) of Pomni abstracting or her leaving him over and over again, with Pomni needing to reassure him each time that she is perfectly happy with him? Maybe causing him to start sleeping in her room from now on because of them?

A/N:aww, shucks, thank you for reading my work. I'm glad you like it!

DIGITAL REALIZATIONS

A SHOWTIME ONESHOT

WARNING: Self-loathing, hurt/comfort, abstraction

~~~

The circus was quiet. All the humans were in their rooms taking their mental breaks as Caine relaxed himself out of bounds. He stretched, contorting his body into a pretzel before releasing and sighing. "Ahhh, what a day." Today's adventure went surprisingly well. The humans didn't complain about horrific sights or traumatic events. Maybe it was a little underwhelming? Eh, tomorrow was another day, and maybe he could cook up something a little more exciting. For now, he settled into a nice relaxing defragmentation.

His avatar fully unraveled into lines of code. This was his true form. It was something he made sure none of the humans ever saw. Including Pomni. The less reminder she had that he's just an AI, he figures the better it would be for their relationship.

Lines of numbers and letters and slashes and dots swirled around, sorting themselves. The fragments of his memories and actions for the day were collected and compiled in their correct files. His favorite file was, of course, his Pomni file. Every time he saw her, spoke with her, interacted with her, he kept every piece. No matter how much space it took up in his memory.

"As beautiful and wonderful as ever..." He thought to himself as he sorted. "What did I ever do to deserve her? Me, some half assed and abandoned project some other human left behind. ...A miserable piece of software that can't even do what it was programmed to accomplish."

Backlogged files of previous residents popped up. All abstracted. All in the cellar. Trapped with only their insanity for company. It was his fault they were down there. He couldn't keep them happy. He couldn't keep them entertained. He failed them.

Horrific thoughts intruded his mind. Pomni will abstract too, someday. You'll fail her, like all the rest. You'll have to put her down there. You can't save her.

Memories of every abstraction popped up and overlapped, covering his code. Formless, mindless digital beasts screaming in mental anguish for eternity in the dark abyss of the cellar. This was Pomni's fate.

His code snapped together violently to form his avatar state. His eyes were wide with terror. He held himself, curling into a ball and floating listlessly. Tears watered his eyes and dripped down his teeth.

"What am I doing wrong? Why do they end up that way? ...I don't understand." He cried to himself. "Pomni...I'm so sorry."

Maybe she'd be happier away from him. The other humans certainly preferred it when he stayed away. He was kidding himself about her liking being around him. No one else did.

He needed to speak with her.

He collected himself, literally shaking the tears away like a dog. Taking a calming breath, he teleported.

Pomni was laying in her bed, processing the day, when a knock came to her door. She opened it to find Caine, hat in hand and looking uncharacteristically somber. "Hey, Caine." She greeted him with a smile. "Thanks for knocking and not teleporting directly into my room. Uh....you okay?"

He couldn't look at her. "I...we need to talk."

Pomni's anxiety spiked. Those were words no one in a relationship ever wanted to hear. "Okay...come on in." She held the door open wider and let him float inside. Then shut the door.

Caine went to Pomni's bed and "sat" on the edge. Pomni joined next to him. "What's going on, Caine?"

He squeezed his hat anxiously. "Pomni...I don't think..." He sighed. "We should break up." He spit out rather quickly.

Pomni's chest hurt like someone punched her as hard as they could. "W-what?? Why?"

Caine still couldn't look at her. His own words carved into his being like knives. "We shouldn't be together. You're a human. You deserve a human. Someone who...someone who understands humans."

"Someone who under- what?? Where is this coming from?" She tried leaning to look him in the eye but he kept turning away. "Caine, did I do something?"

"No. It's not you. It could never be you. You're perfect. It's me, Pomni. I'm the problem..." He was always the problem. And no solution he ever came up with made things better.

"Perfect? Me? Pfff, absolutely not. No one's perfect."

"...you are to me." He said very quietly. Pomni almost didn't hear him.

"Then why do you want to leave me?" The very idea was unbearable.

"I don't, but...It's for the best." He choked.

"Why?" She pushed. Tears threatened to fall. "At least tell me why you're breaking my heart."

Caine couldn't take it anymore. He dropped his hat and sobbed into his hands. "Because no matter what I do, you'll abstract! I've run thousands of scenarios and none of them have come back positive! I'm making things worse by being around you! I can't-...I can't...."

Pomni was taken aback. "You think being in a relationship with me will make me abstract?"

Caine could barely get words out between hiccuping sobs. " I KNOW you will! I'm an awful entertainer! I'm a failed program! And I'm an even WORSE boyfriend!"

"Woah, woah, easy..." She gently hugged him, pressing her cheek to his closed teeth. "Let's dial it back and calm down a bit." She slowly rocked with him as he calmed down. He grasped her arm around him like it was his last lifeline. "First of all, I'm madly in love with you. You don't have to be perfect, to be the perfect boyfriend. Second, you've been doing really well with the adventures. A lot of them have been really fun recently. Nothing too crazy or mind breaking." She laughed. "And third..." She turned his head to her, his teeth cracked open just enough for her to see his eyes. "..I'm not abstracting. I simply refuse to. I will persevere and you make it better by being with me."

He sniffed. "Really?"

"Really really." She smiled. Slow tears finally escaping her eyes.

He embraced her. Her digital essence against his made his code feel warm and he smiled. "Thank you..." All of the horrible thoughts were silence by her touch.

She pulled away to put a finger in his face. "Now, NEVER scare me like that again. Seriously. Don't you dare ever break up with me." There was a real plea in her eyes to never experience that pain again.

He cupped her cheek. "I was a fool to think I could. Can you ever forgive me?"

"...maybe."

"Ouch, but fair. What can I do to make things better?"

"Stay with me." She looked at him with heavy lidded eyes.

"... I thought we agreed that I am?" He was genuinely confused about what she meant.

She flushed with embarrassment. "No, no, I mean, stay HERE. In this room. With me. Until the next adventure."

"Oh...OH." He finally caught on. "Gladly." He snapped and a DO NOT DISTURB sign appeared on the outside of her door.

"What did you just do?"

"Just ensuring privacy, my dear. I want you to myself for as long as possible." He caressed her cheek with his thumb.

"Mmmm, I'm pretty sure we have the rest of forever." She leaned into him.

"And I wouldn't have it any other way." He leaned in the rest of the way to kiss her.

[spockandawe]

Here's a big project I've been sitting on! All That You Love Will Be Carried Away, by our very own @ceruleancynic! And a box, naturally, building boxes for books continues to bring me immense joy.

What we have here is not just the main fic, or the main series, but also All That You Love (The High Hope Remix) alt pov short fic by byzantienne, and, a detail that I was really excited to include: the initial comment exchange between these two fantastic authors of m the first fic in the series. Did I title that second little book 'all that you meet cute will be carried away' as a silly placeholder? Did I then get super attached and refuse to change it? Uh-

Hell yeah, I refuse to be dignified about any of my favorite hobbies!

But the real secret delight here was that I've been looking for the right opportunity to get weird with boxes. Peller boxes, hinged slipcases, yes, fine, but those are like the box version of my sixfold book adventure. I'm still shooting for some parallel to my fourteenfold book, I'm looking for a way to go completely off the rails. I have some ideas, but it's hard, finding a good large chonk and a small number of equally sized texts, which made a unified and complete set, AND which excited me to work with. That might sound unnecessarily picky, but I swear, there was a good reason for it!

Oh baby. Oh baby.

This worked out so perfectly. I wanted a large book at the center of things. And I wanted two small books oriented in a different direction, placed end to end, at its edge. And I got it! I didn't want to commit too early, and it would have been heartbreaking to fail, but once the big book was together, and the preliminary typesets for the two little books were almost identical? I just HAD to try.

Tumblr is already silencing me and refusing to let me attach as many images as I want, so for this post, let's talk about the main book a little! Cute little quarto bricks are my new FAVORITE favorite thing, as I'm sure you can guess from my archives, and this one was a dream to put together.

It had to be a three-quarter leather binding, naturally. And I was sitting on some gorgeous iridescent maroon paper for endpapers (no photos in this set, it refuses to photograph well, as is the way of pretty iridescent things). I spent some time agonizing over my other material, and whether to use two different marbled patterns, but I went with it in the end. The vibes were distinct enough but the palettes overlapped enough that I really enjoyed the effect. And with the northcott art of marbling fabrics (my beloved) I was able to use lines of symmetry to get some nice fussy cuts for the big book and the little ones. All of the books have leather endbands, matching the spine. And the big book has the big thick faux raised bands I tried out with my last svsss! I don't have enough pictures to show off all the book interiors, but I used this cover plate for the series and main fics within it.

And then, like I showed you above, I put it all together. Marbled paper and silk moire for covering the box, a lot of very tense wrangling of glued-up paper in very small spaces, and, at one point, carefully lowering glue-covered pieces of moire bookcloth down these little pits (walls already covered) using that tab in the front like the world's awkwardest elevator shaft. But the EFFECT!

I'm very, very pleased with myself, and delighted to have delivered this book to its new home. I've been absolutely VIBRATING with a desire to share, so! I can't be contained by tumblr's image limit. Hold on for two seconds (approx.) and I'm going to reblog this post with some wip pictures and more detail about how I worked this thing out and assembled this box and modified my initial design on the fly

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

And because I can't pick faves between my two favorite characters, Vox, it's ur turn to rate these ships:

1. Charlie × Vox

2. Vaggie × Vox

3. Angel Dust × Vox

4. Husk × Vox

5. Niffty × Vox

6. Alastor × Vox

7. Lucifer × Vox

8. Valentino × Vox

9. Velvette × Vox

10. Adam × Vox

11. Rosie × Vox

12. Lilith × Vox

13. Zestial × Vox

14. Zeezi × Vox

15. Carmilla × Vox

16. Peppermint (is that how you spell it? Idfk my dyslexia sucks) × Vox

17. Kitty × Vox

18. Baxter × Vox

19. SpongeBob × Vox

20. Vassago × Vox

21. Mammon × Vox (I'm not kidding there is actual fanart for this ship)

22. Vox × Valentino × Velvette

23. Vox × Valentino × Alastor

24. Alastor × Valentino

25. Lucifer × Valentino

26. Sir Pentios × Vox

27. Stella × Vox

28. Vox's screens and Cameras × Vox

29. Cherry Bomb × Vox

30. Katie Killjoy × Vox

"You know, I thought I was pretty open about the idea of me being shipped with people, but this list is making me reconsider. Anyway...

Alastor × Vox - Obviously my number one choice. Though I am offended you don't have me with Alastor and Lucifer on this list.

Lucifer × Vox - The only reason Alastor is higher is cause of our history. I love them both equally.

Vox × Valentino × Alastor - Fuck, I don't like Valentino being in the mix, and I don't want him anywhere near Alastor, but I can't rank anything with Alastor in it low.

Mammon × Vox - Honestly, none of these appeal to me, but I do look up to the guy.

Cherri Bomb × Vox - She's hot, I guess.

Rosie × Vox - That's weird, and I think she ate her last husband, but we get along alright.

Vassago × Vox - I vaguely recognize that name - pretty sure he's one of the Ars Goetia. So, at least it'd be a powerful pairing.

Stella × Vox - Same as above. I know nothing about either of them, though.

Zeezi × Vox - Literally only know her in passing, but sure, let's put her here.

Zestial × Vox - Yeah, sure, I'll trade one old-timey prick for another.

Carmilla × Vox - Can't stand the bitch, but this would get me better access to her weapons.

Husk × Vox - We got along fine when he was an Overlord. Not enough to fuck, but whatever.

Katie Killjoy × Vox - She's a bitch, but she does good work.

Niffty × Vox - Kind of just weird to think about.

Adam × Vox - I have some dating overlap with his exes, so he has that going for him.

Lilith × Vox - Oh yeah, my boyfriend's ex, nothing weird about that.

Charlie × Vox - And my boyfriend's daughter - almost equally weird.

Valentino × Vox - The guy tried to drug me to get me to stay with him, and thoroughly ruined any chance of me wanting him ever again.

Papermint × Vox - My assistant? Kind of weird, honestly.

Baxter × Vox - I'm not Val, I don't hook up with my employees.

Kitty × Vox - A fucking robot? Seriously?

Sir Pentious × Vox - As if I would ever be with someone so pathetic.

Vox's screens and Cameras × Vox - What is this even supposed to mean?

SpongeBob × Vox - Why?

Vaggie × Vox - She's a lesbian.

Angel Dust × Vox - Absolutely not.

Velvette × Vox - She's like my fucking sister!

Vox × Valentino × Velvette - Honestly don't know if throwing Valentino in the mix makes it better or worse.

Lucifer × Valentino - Valentino can stay away from both of my men.

Alastor × Valentino - It'd definitely be even worse for Alastor.

Well, that was... surprisingly disturbing."

[kitkathatesu]

𝙇𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪

𝙋𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙄𝙉𝙂: Billy Hargrove x Fem!reader + Eddie/Steve

𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙎: ❕SMUT❕❗️MDNI❗️ drug use, degradation, dom!Billy, sub!reader, voyeurism, slight cucking + fingering, (f receiving) overstimulation, short and filthy

𝙎𝙐𝙈𝙈𝘼𝙍𝙔: Billy dominates you in front of Eddie and Steve to show them how much power he holds, and knowing that their eyes are glued to you as you fall apart in his arms only makes it better. Because only 𝙝𝙚 can make you feel this good.

♢☽♢

After School you and Billy head straight back to his place, more so Neil’s place, but you never see him much. He’s always working, so you’ve got the house to yourselves most of the time. Sitting around watching your favorite films and eating popcorn while Max and El head to the mall with Lucas and Mike. It’s part of your daily routine, and you’ve gotta admit.. Being alone with Billy every day is not only the most fun you’ve had in years, it’s also the most intense relationship you’ve ever been in. And even though you enjoy every second you can get with him, today you’re feeling more than just sex and screen time.

“What’sa matter baby?”

Billy quizzes you, tugging at your waist with his free hand as you’re sat on the couch beside him. Pressing his face against your cheek to further pry an answer out of you, he gently grazes your skin with his teeth causing a loud giggle to echo out into the room.

“Nothing, today’s just kinda stale ya know? I feel like there’s other things we could do.”

You tilt your head to the side, throwing an arm over Billy’s lap forcing him to pull back and look at you. Immediately shooting him those puppy dog eyes he can’t resist, he lets out a long sigh. His fingers coursing through those messy curls that lay perfectly on either side of his head, leaning himself back against the couch. His white cut off shirt showing off just how toned his arms are as he stretches one over the back of the couch behind you, keeping the other one wrapped around you.

“Let’s do something fun.” You say with a soft voice.

“Whad’dya mean doll face? You telling me this isn’t fun?” He scoffs. A smug grin playing across his lips, making you roll your eyes at him.

“Of course it is, but I think I know something that’ll make it better. Gimme just a sec.”

You quickly jump from Billy’s grasp making your way into the kitchen, pulling your shorts down a bit as they seem to always ride up your thighs when you wear them. Dialing Eddie’s number first, you declare that his services are required at the Hargrove household. MORS code for “I need some flower.” And you don’t have to say much else, he’s on his way. Then you dial Steve’s number directly after, letting him know that there will be a fat sack of green waiting for him if he comes to hang out with you. Besides, you haven’t seen either of them in a hot minute. It’d be good to catch up!

You stand there for a moment, slight excitement running through your body realizing that three of your favorite people will be in the same room. Billy’s shadow suddenly overlapping yours on the wall in front of you that’s lit up with bright beams of sunlight.

“Miss me that much?” You chaff. His arms snaking around your waist once more, warm lips pressing small kisses along the crook of your neck and up to your jawline. His hands wandering your body selflessly as you take in the scent of his cheap cologne.

“You gonna tell me why you were on the phone when I could’ve already had my way with you?” He all but grunts into your ear.

That raspy tone in his voice sending chills down your spine like always, making you smile to yourself and turn to face him. Those bright blue eyes pull you in and trap you there like you’ve stepped in cement, all you can do is wrap both of your arms around his neck. One of his hands slowly traces down the arch of your back and over your shorts. Gripping underneath your ass to pull you up into him, his lips attaching to yours in a hungry kiss.

“Well..” You say between pecks, trying to choke out a few words as his tongue fights for entrance to your mouth.

“I called Eddie for some smoke, and-“ Billy chuckles darkly, cocking an eyebrow upward as his arms leave your waist and now drape over his stomach. Gaze fixated on yours, burning through you like flame put to paper.

“And what?” Billy asks, demeanor changing instantly.

“I also invited Steve.” You squeak, hand darting into the ends of your hair. Finger looping the loose strands nervously as you watch his facial expression distort into something you can’t quite explain.

“Ah, so you invited Harrington huh?” Billy clears his throat, the sides of his mouth curling up into a cat like grin as his eyes dart to the floor. He doesn’t say anything just pushes past your small frame, walking back towards the living room. His hand reaching out to tap your shoulder twice.

“This’ll be real fun.” He mumbles out. A wave of anxiety rushing over you, causing you to trip over your own feet as you follow behind him.

Him and Steve are by no means friends, or even acquaintances. But since he’s coming along with Eddie you know Billy will at least tolerate it, especially since he’ll be buzzed the whole time. But Billy is also possessive, and very ego driven. He sees any other man in your life as competition, which means he’ll do 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 to prove that you’re his, even if it’s a little off the walls.

Fast forward about an hour later. Eddie screeches up the road in his Corroded Coffin van, Steve in the passenger seat hanging his head out the window to hopefully catch a glimpse of you. Metallica’s For Whom The Bell Tolls blasting from the radio as they pull into Billy’s driveway causing you to come running outside to greet them, your denim shorts riding up your thighs again. You’re slow on your feet as you try to pull them down nonchalantly, Steve’s eyes meeting yours with a bright smile stretched across his face.

“Hey legs, been a minute!” He howls out to you. Billy standing about a foot or two away from you pressed against his Camaro. Cigarette hanging from his lips, eyebrows furrowed as he watches both boys hop out onto the pavement. He’s definitely not happy with the remark Steve let slip, but for your sake he keeps his mouth shut.

“Well hello there pretty girl.” Eddie says, avidly jogging up to you with a baggy in hand. Steve following alongside him.

Billy pushes himself off his Camaro, the look in his eyes making you a bit weary as his face never leaves theirs while making his way over to you. He brings a hand up tightly wrapping it around your waist, fingers squishing into the skin there harshly while Steve and Eddie stand in an awkward stance.

“Y’all come here to smoke, or gawk at my girl?” Billy spits, giving your waist another good squeeze. The signal he has set to let you know that he’s not the happiest camper, and that he could do something stupid any minute because he doesn’t like what’s going on.

After all, Steve and Eddie have both seemed to be crushing on you since about Junior year. So you can’t really blame Billy for being somewhat defensive, but they are your friends and you only want to have a good time. You’d rather not have to clean up the mess after Billy decides it’s time to fight for something as small as a flirty comment.

“Alright alright.” You sigh, nudging him with your elbow.

“Let’s head to the backyard, it’s nice and peaceful back there. No one should bother us.” You smile, taking Billy’s hand in yours as you turn on your feet to lead the way.

You hear what sounds like muffled words behind you, knowing that it’s most likely Steve making small gestures to Eddie about you. All you can do is hope and pray that they’d be smart enough not to let Billy hear what you can’t make out. So you continue on till you get to the squeaky screen door and Billy grabs your hips out of nowhere pushing you out onto the small strip of pavement. Causing you to stumble slightly, his fingers catch you by slipping into the belt loops on either side of your shorts. With one quick movement he’s turned you around so that you’re facing both Eddie and Steve, standing you still.

“She’s a dime boys, that’s for sure.” Billy purrs directly into your ear as he places his chin on your shoulder, eyes glued to them as his fingers stay tightly laced into the loops on your shorts.

Billy’s comely face in your peripherals, you can’t help but notice that same odd expression he’d given you earlier making another appearance. You still can’t put your finger on what exactly is going on inside his head, but it probably isn’t good and it turns your stomach.

You’re swiftly ripped from thought as he yanks hard on the small denim coils causing you to gasp, motioning you to sit down directly where you stand.

Eddie is already stretched out across from you, small black tray sat in his lap as he twists up a pinky sized joint. Steve’s body reclined against an old metal toolbox that Neil’s had sat outside for some months rusting away to nothing.

You plop down onto the hard ground beneath you, Billy’s chest now pressed against your back. His callused hands resting on the tops of your thighs as your legs lay partially spread across the warm asphalt.

“Done!” Eddie shouts, holding up the joint he’s so clearly proud of between three fingers. Steve chuckling to himself, clapping for him like some teenagers at a Homecoming game.

“Good, spark it up Munson. Let’s get to buzzing before I change my mind.”

Billy exclaims, his words hanging in the air as his hands climb higher up your legs. His fingers gently pressing into your inner thighs. Rubbing random patterns into them with his thumbs, causing your cheeks to flush a dark shade of red.

The anxiety you were feeling earlier slowly starts to turn into regret because he knows little things like this turn you on. And if you wouldn’t have called Eddie and Steve, you could’ve had his fingers buried inside you rather than teasing you in front of two of your best friends.

Eddie places the joint in his mouth, shielding it with one hand while he lights it with the other. Taking a long drag before reaching it out to you first.

You sit up so that you’re not completely confined to Billy, trying your best to keep composure as you grab the joint and bring it up to your mouth. But he pulls you right back into him. This time his hand reaches around your throat, causing you to let out a soft but audible whimper. Taking the joint into his fingers, he pulls it directly out of your mouth and holds it above your slightly agape lips.

“Hit it real slow, don’t stop until I tell you.”

Billy’s voice soft and sweet but dripping with lust, you now know what’s been on his mind. Control. That primal need to challenge others has taken over, and you know this is just the beginning of what you can only assume is your punishment for not giving yourself over to him.

You watch as Eddie and Steve shoot each other a glance, Billy’s hand still wrapped around your throat while you lay there against him not sure of what to do or how to feel. You go to say something but it’s replaced with a breathless sigh as his grip tightens, fingers pressing deeper into the sides of your throat blocking off proper air flow.

“C’mon baby, we don’t wanna disappoint our guests now do we?”

He asks, his eyes dark with desire as he lowers the joint between your lips. Loosening his hold on your pulse points as his words travel through your body like electricity. A new feeling starts to rise up, one you’ve never felt before. And instead of pushing it down you allow it to wash over you as you realize that whatever is going on here all of you are enjoying it.

So you take the hit and blow it out real slow as Billy’s signature smirk engulfs his features. Pausing a minute to take a hit himself, before handing it over to Steve. He focuses his attention back onto you.

“Good girl.”

He chuckles, glinting over at Eddie and Steve as he removes his hand from your throat. Now placing his fingers on both sides of your face. Moving your head all around, squishing your cheeks into a pout as if to show you off to them in some smart ass way.

“Ain’t she the prettiest when she does what she’s told?”

You begin to squirm again, glimpsing over at the boys you once looked at so innocently. Their faces flushed, eyes glazed over at the sight of your shorts rolled so far up your thighs that they’re pressing into you.

It’s making you ache, the thought of them seeing you so vulnerable and desperate. It’s dirty and off putting but you can’t help but relish in the the moment. Even though you’ve been friends with them for so long, you can’t act as if you’ve not enjoyed the attention from them. All three boys so attractive in their own ways, it’s hard not to let your mind wander to places it normally wouldn’t.

All the filthy things flashing through your mind drive you crazy, your thighs unconsciously try and clamp together searching for any kind of friction. But Billy notices instantly and brings a harsh smack down onto both of your legs. Tsking through his teeth.

“I don’t think so slut.” He hisses, wrapping both of his hands around the tops of your knees. Putting just enough pressure on them to where you can’t move.

“Don’t go getting greedy on me. That’s not what good bitches do, is it?”

The mix of praise and degrading words being spat into your ear as you lie there helpless makes you feel like you’re melting. Skin hot to the touch as Billy’s fingers slip into the bend of your knees and pull them up towards your chest. Forcing them to stay there. Daring you to move.

“Billy.. Please-“ You whine, words beginning to crack in your throat as Steve cuts you off. He starts to stand up and say something to Billy, but he is instantly met with Billy shouting at him to sit back down.

Steve’s mouth hangs open, glancing to Eddie as he slowly sits back down. Placing his head into his hands for a moment before bursting out with, “What exactly are you trying to prove Hargrove?”

Billy completely avoids the question. Sadistic laughter filling in the infelicitous silence that had been there a second before.

“You see this?” Billy banters. Replacing his hands with one of his forearms, still holding your legs to you. Your brain starting to feel like it’s short circuiting as the pads of Billy’s fingers start to outline the crease where the shorts are sitting pressed into your core. The fluffy print of your pussy on display for everyone to see.

“This is mine to use.” He pauses, glaring at both of them with a devilish grin. Making sure their attention is on him as his fingers continue to gently glide up and down your pussy through the tough fabric that’s still straining against you. A little wet spot starting to form right in the middle as you grind your hips thoughtlessly into his hand. Every nerve in your body feeling like it has been set on fire.

“You cucks think it’s fine to sit and fuck her with your eyes, or whisper back and forth like a couple bitches at a sleepover about how bad you wanna get into her pants. So.. I’m gonna show you why that’ll never fucking happen.”

His words have your head spinning, not knowing whether to try and fight this or let it happen. Mind telling you no, but the throbbing between your legs screaming yes as you’re sat writhing from desperation. It’s becoming unbearable.

Steve is speechless, he doesn’t say a word. But the look of pure confusion and sexual frustration on his face matches Eddie’s perfectly as you look to both of them, scanning how they react as Billy continues to tease you in front of them.

Billy moves his head down pressing his lips against your neck. Placing sloppy kisses anywhere that his mouth can reach, feeling your wetness continue to soak through against his fingers. He lets his tongue drag a long stripe back up your jawline. Teeth nipping at your skin as his breath picks up, his cock starting to strain against his zipper. You can feel just how hard he is right against your lower back.

You’re lost in the moment, feeling all eyes on you as you lay there a whimpering mess against Billy’s chest. Your hands grasping at anything within reach, Billy’s legs. His arms, wrists.. But then you remember something. One of the things that seems to drive him off the deep end in the bedroom.

That gorgeous head of hair. It is one of his many weaknesses when it comes to you. So you decide to take this as an opportunity to get him back.

You lift your hand to Billy’s face. Gently grazing the stubbled skin before lacing your fingers into his hair. Tugging at the soft curls, twisting them between your fingers as a low growl rumbles in his throat making you smirk to yourself. But all it gets you in return is a loss of sensation.

He quickly drops your knees, letting the back of your legs hit the rough ground beneath you.

“Well now that I’ve got your attention, I think it’s time for the real show.”

He’s toying with them. Saying anything he can to further manipulate the situation to his liking as he places a hand on the ground beside him. Moving his head back and to the side a bit to get a good look at your face.

You look up at him, not a word is spoken or a thought behind your eyes. All you can do is wonder what will happen next. And without warning he grabs your jaw pulling your face to his. His eyes threatening to swallow you up as his tongue darts out to wet the vulgar words that fall from his lips.

“Open your legs and show them that this cunt belongs to me.”

He gives you a small kiss before pushing your head back with his hand, watching as you slowly start to move your hands down your body. Doing exactly as you’re told.

Steve and Eddie are practically drooling. You and Billy both know they’ve been dying to see you all riled up and ready to fuck, but it never occurred to them that it’d be anything like this. Both boys are star struck, hard ons very noticeable in their pants. Eyes never leaving you as you unbutton your shorts.

You can’t help but giggle at how sexy they look all hot and bothered at the sight of you.

So you decide to put on somewhat of a show yourself, moving your hands back up your body painfully slow. Teasing your nipples through the thin fabric of your tank top before lifting it to reveal your breasts to them. Leaning yourself all the way back against Billy, giving them a good view as you waste no time slipping your shorts down a bit. The thin straps of the thong you’re wearing sitting on top of your hip bones.

Billy hums in approval, taking his bottom lip between his teeth as he brings his hands up to cup your breasts. Pinching your nipples between his fingers. Steve and Eddie watching like their lives depended on what happens next.

You know that they’re going feral trying not to touch themselves. So you moan Billy's name, giving them a little taste of what it’d be like to have their name on your lips instead.

“Good fucking girl.”

He smiles. Pressing a kiss to your cheek as he brings two fingers up to his mouth, coating them in saliva before pushing them into your underwear.

Your back arches as one of his fingers begins wandering your folds, sliding it up and down real slow just to get a rise out of you. Admiring the fact that all of this is just for him as he collects your juices, gliding them up to your clit as he replaces one finger with two. Rubbing small circles into the ball of nerves with the tips of his middle and ring finger.

You can feel him smirking against your skin as he picks up the pace causing your face to contort as you throw your head back in overwhelming pleasure. Heat waves falling over your body as Billy’s cock continues to press into your lower back, making you chase your high even more. Starting to grind yourself against his hand.

“You like having your pussy played with in front of your friends? Huh?”

Billy grunts into your ear. Moving his hand side to side against your clit now, the sounds of slick coated skin filling the air around you as you whine out. Your body starting to tremble uncontrollably as your first orgasm immediately washes over you.

“Answer me you fucking whore.” Billy spits, tapping your clit with his fingers harshly. Causing a broken moan to leave your lips.

“Y-Yes I like it. Please just-“

“Just what? Take it easy on you?” He asks, chuckling to himself as he presses his hand flat against you. Cupping your pussy before pushing two fingers deep inside you without warning. The sudden stretching of your walls causing you to let out a loud yelp.

“Awhh sweetheart. Don’t you know that whores don’t get a say so?”

He hisses through his teeth, a strained groan pooling out of him as he feels your walls clench around his fingers.

“That’s what I like yeahhh.” He sighs out.

His fingers pumping in and out of you at a quick pace. Loving every sound, every pretty face you make at how good they feel inside you.

He glances over at Steve, then to Eddie. Shooting both of them a wink as he continues to plow your pussy with his fingers, once again showing them just how much control he has over you as your moans reverberate through their heads. The images of you all fucked out staining their memory.

You squeeze your eyes shut. Trying to adjust to his fingers fucking in and out of you so fast but the sound of him curling them inside you is obvious at how wet you are. You can feel it dripping down your inner thighs as your body begins to tense. That familiar feeling rising in the pit of your stomach again as he hits that sweet spot over and over.

“F-Fuck Billy, I think I’m gonna-“

“Cum? Yeah I thought so.”

Billy smiles ear to ear as he wraps his free hand around your throat adding a third finger inside you. Another yelp escaping your lips as he pushes them as deep as they’ll go. Now knuckle deep inside you, he continues at that same pace. Your juices starting to splash up onto his wrist.

“That’s a good fucking slut, cum all over my fingers. Put on a good show for me and these fucking pussies you call friends.”

Billy’s words jumble together in your mind as everything goes fuzzy, seeing nothing but white as your whole body goes into a state of euphoria. Small whimpers breaking through your lips as Billy pulls his hand out of your underwear, wiping your cum off on his pants leg while you lay there lifeless against him.

“Holy shit.” Steve mumbles. Eddie sitting on the other side of him with a blank stare on his face.

Billy claps his hands together, causing Eddie to jump a bit as he snaps out of the little trance he’s been in for the last two and a half hours.

“What’sa matter Munson? Cat got your tongue?”

He blinks a couple times, sucking in a sharp breath. Not saying shit as he peers over at Steve.

They both stand up adjusting their waistbands. Trying their best not to make things more awkward than they already seem to be.

“It was uh, nice to see you.” Steve blurts out, looking down at you as Eddie gathers his tray and lighter off the ground.

You’re still out of breath, brain foggy as fuck as you lie there unable to form any kind of sentence or argument. So you wave them off, completely melted into Billy’s arms as they’re tightly wrapped around you.

“Hope it was worth it boys.” Billy yells out to them with a loud chuckle following after.

No longer hearing their footsteps, the sound of Eddie’s van squeals off in the distance.

Billy’s ego is absolutely off the walls as he lays his head against yours, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple.

“Maybe this’ll teach you not to invite people over without my permission.”

“Yeah maybe.”

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

omg haha, i saw your post about the saw-scaled viper and got interested, please please please tell me more about those cuties!!!

With pleasure!! Saw-scaled vipers are some of my very favorite snakes in the world.

They're called "saw-scaled" because their scales have these little serrated edges, and their threat display is to coil up into an overlapping C shape and rub the scales together. It makes a really cool sort of sizzling noise. A cool vocab word for you: this is called "stridulation!" Check it out, this video from the BBC has a good example of what it sounds like:

The saw-scaled threat display is theorized to be to eliminate water loss that might happen as a result of hissing. These are desert snakes, after all!

Indian saw-scaled vipers are one of the "big four," the species responsible for the greatest number of medically-significant snake bites on humans in the Indian continent. The other three are the Russell's viper, the common krait, and the Indian cobra.

They're easily the smallest of the big four! They average about two feet long, and smaller individuals are common.

Saw-scaled vipers are crazy cute, but they're actually super challenging to work with, even when compared to other venomous snakes. They tend to be very nervous and jumpy, and they have a habit of striking so enthusiastically they can move towards you without meaning to.

Their venom is also unusually potent for such small snakes; before antivenin, about 20% of bites were fatal. That's very powerful by viper standards!

Now, their venom has very useful medical applications! Saw-scaled viper venom has elements that make it a useful ingredient in medical procedures designed to test blood clotting factors. It's also used in anticonvulsant medications.

At my lab, we have several saw-scaled vipers, but my favorite is a little spitfire named Trigger. He's pretty calm by saw-scaled viper standards but he can still be a little menace. He's an Egyptian saw-scaled viper, here's the best picture I have of him (hook for scale):

I just love saw-scaled vipers. They're such awesome snakes!

[exitvelocities]

mlc favorite character/ship poll takeaways

so this poll ended recently, and i thought it would be interesting to do a little number crunching. image of the poll results and also a graphic of some ao3 ship tag stats under the cut.

general disclaimer that this is just for fun and i'm not an academic, etc.

li lianhua and ot3 are king

llh/ot3 won by a handy 24% by itself before we even start adding up the rest of the numbers. ot3 did not surprise me at all since i already knew ot3 was big on tumblr, but somehow llh being the favorite caught me off guard. it's probably just that i'm rarely a protagonist person and mostly hang around with other perennial side/background character likers; it really should have been obvious.

overall favorite stats

llh won handily, with over 40% of the vote. fdb and dfs were much closer, and I was surprised by which came out on top!

li lianhua: 41.2%

di feisheng: 26.6%

fang duobing: 22.8%

overall ship stats

ot3 won by a large margin! dihua was fairly steady, and there's a surprisingly low number of pure fanghuas on tumblr, especially when contrasted with the overall ao3 stats further down.

difanghua: 47.2%

dihua: 30%

fanghua: 13.4%

the "other" option

from tags, the main reasons people used the "other" option in no particular order:

difang, almost exclusively with fdb favorite (one person picked llh, no one picked dfs)

couldn't pick

no preference/like all equally

only one person actually named a different favorite from the three given options iirc

favorite character vs favorite ship

so, this was the original purpose of the poll-- i was curious to see if ship preferences would fall along favorite character lines. granted, including difanghua threw a wrench in that a little bit. i considered running it with difang instead and placing difanghua in the "other" category but ultimately decided against it since i felt it would just heavily skew the poll to "other" winning and lose out on a lot of favorite character information. so what did we end up with?

people are least likely to ship the thing their favorite character is not in (see: fdb/dihua, dfs/fanghua)

dfs lovers are more likely ship dihua than difanghua

fdb fans are more likely to ship fanghua than llh fans

llh and fdb faves are more likely to ship difanghua than solo ships

that's literally it; the breakdown of ship by character is in the poll results

ao3 stat observations

fanghua is the overall most popular ship but is literally cut in half in english fandom; it's smaller than both dihua and ot3

dihua is pretty consistent and actually slightly higher in english fandom than overall at the moment; non-english dihua fic is mainly in chinese and russian

difang has 45 overall fics, 10 of which are in english

the vast majority of ot3 fics are in english

it's interesting that ot3 seems to absorb fanghuas moreso than dihuas, but that vibes with my very unscientific observation that there seem to be a lot of fanghua-leaning ot3ers

keep in mind that the overall numbers INCLUDE the english fic. how did i end up with this count? what does 'multiship' mean? see the methodology section at the end.

tumblr vs ao3

the contrast is interesting! dihua is strangely steady.

dihua: 30% (tumblr) vs 28.4% (eng fic) vs 26.7% (overall fic)

fanghua: 13.4% (tumblr) vs 17.3% (eng fic) vs 34.5% (overall fic)

difanghua: 47.2% (tumblr) vs 19.8% (eng fic) vs 9.2% (overall fic)

conclusions

honestly there are none, lol. i just thought the breakdowns are interesting! also i'm hardly unbiased, so feel free to make your own conclusions with the information presented.

ao3 methodology

i did this really quick and dirty yesterday afternoon and can't guarantee 100% accuracy. i didn't check for the overall tag, but this method left about 5 english language fics unaccounted for. there may also have been slight overlap in some categories.

difang: anything tagged difang EXCLUDING dihua, fanghua, and ot3 tags

dihua: anything tagged dihua EXCLUDING difang, fanghua, and ot3 tags

fanghua: anything tagged fanghua EXCLUDING difang, dihua, and ot3 tags

ot3: anything tagged with the ot3 tag

multiship: anything tagged with dihua AND fanghua but NOT the ot3 tag

gen/other: anything NOT tagged with ANY difang, dihua, fanghua, or ot3 tags

[softichill]

The Sounds of Nightmares unofficial transcript

Chapter 2 - A Penance at the Bathouse

(created in collaboration with @queen0fm0nsterz !!!!!!)

Chapter 1

-------------

[Click]

[Rewind sound]

OTTO: During our fourth session, developments in Noone’s case unearthed echoes of past failures. The girl recalled a familiar figure. 

[Click, Otto plays the tape]

Recording of NOONE: “The Candleman stood before me, on the rooftop. He wore… a long filthy jacket. His presence… it reminded me of… when the tide goes out.”

[Click, Otto pauses the tape]

OTTO: An uncanny sense of deja-vu, for Noone has seemingly encountered my Cici’s [distorted] Ferryman. I thought him lost forever. Yet, if true, he’s somehow found a way back to where he began. And who is he? Some deranged bedlamite? A mutual dreaming savant, invading the nightmares of innocents? It seems absurd. All I know for certain is that I must dig deeper. 

[tape rewinding]

[Intro plays]

[Various clicking]

OTTO: This is the Counselor, tape number 57, session number 4, patient number… Hm, patient Noone. [Tapping and shifting]

OTTO: I was presumptuous. Judgemental. Now I feel it’s paramount to prioritize Noone’s treatment over several other cases, due to demonstration of abnormal neurological faculties. [Shifting sounds] To dissent her further, today I’ll venture an unconventional method. [something electric is turned on]

[Beeping. Otto sighs]

OTTO: Admittedly dated, but this device should help attain further clarity. 

[Beeping alts. Audio cuts]

[Steps, pages shuffling. Someone knocks on the door]

OTTO: (cheery) Please, come in! 

[Door creaks open and closes]

OTTO: How are we doing today, Noone?

NOONE: Otto, what happens to a stone that has overcome its greatest fear? 

OTTO: You’re… telling a joke?

NOONE: Yes, but I never got the punchline.

OTTO: I’ll have to think about that –

NOONE: Hey, look! A moth!

[Otto shifts to look]

NOONE: We went on vacation once, under my doctor’s advice. Swarms of moths gathered around that balcony each night. They fascinated me, their little ways! How they just… existed. I collected them in mum’s plastic jars. 

OTTO: Well, this might be a good time to tell me about your mother. 

NOONE: …I’d rather not. Mum didn’t share my enthusiasms for crawlies. But moths were my favorite, drawn to light under some kind of spell.

OTTO: Perhaps you see a bit of yourself in the moth. Vulnerable, caught in the spotlight. The fame you received after the cure –

NOONE: I don’t feel cured. At all.

OTTO: …You feel you’re still in the dark?

NOONE: Yes. But I like to try to fly towards the light.

OTTO: [Hum] Then let me be that guiding light. And eventually, together, we’ll leave your darkness behind. 

NOONE: How you said that… reminds me of the place I visited.

OTTO: On your vacation?

NOONE: No. Last night, in my dream.

OTTO: Let’s make sure you’re comfortable before jumping in.

NOONE: Oh, I feel at ease. Calm even. Can I tell you about it?

OTTO: If you like, then I suppose you could –

NOONE, narrating: I awoke to wet air on a rooftop. 

NOONE: Peeking over the ledge, I saw an ocean, stretching all the way to the horizon. On the nearest shore, giant fish-like contraptions crawled out from the waves, and from their mouths, plump men and women emerged. Faces hidden behind wooden masks, bodies tucked away beneath mucky brown robes. Some used sticks to labour up the long winding boardwalk leading from the beach to the lantern-lit market below. 

[Bells and steps]

NOONE: Their destination was behind me. A distant, crooked bathhouse. A voice whispered, “Hey!”, and I turned to see a grubby, breathless boy stepping off a ladder. He dressed in tatty shorts and… shirt covered in pin badgers. He said, 

JESTER, overlapping with NOONE: “Do you know a way out of here?”

NOONE: I told him I was equally lost, but he insisted on traveling together. He went on,

JESTER, (ov. with NOONE): “Other kids call me Jester, because I never run out of jokes. I can tell you some along the way!” 

NOONE: I didn’t reply, so he blurted,

JESTER (ov. with NOONE): “Uhm, a man tells his friend to stop looking for the perfect match…” 

NOONE: But, he stopped. I could tell he realized that parts of him… were missing. As if… just being here… [slimy, crawling sound] was changing him. I realized something too: my headache was gone. Jester yelled out,

JESTER (ov. with NOONE): “Oh! He tells him to… use a lighter!”

[Otto interrupts the narration]

OTTO: Then this boy was the impetus for your joke! [Shifting] You met a child in your nightmare prior, but this one sounds far more… normal. 

NOONE: He looked like the kids from school, only… kinder. The ones at school teased me. Well, until I fell ill. After the water sickness, the same children who made me dread walking through these rotten gates began sucking up. But I’ve always been the same me. 

NOONE: Funny. I feel less me now than before.

OTTO: Children can be cruel. I had my share of tormentors in adolescence. 

NOONE: Really?

OTTO: It’s regrettably common. [Shifting] Tell me what happened next.

NOONE, narrating: Jester pulled my arm. “Look”, he said, pointing me to long planks of wood laid down like bridges between the rooftops. …Other children had traveled this path before.

OTTO: Other children? [Otto writing]

NOONE: The walkways had been placed there. They were too narrow for those swollen adults below. It must have been other children, and Jester – he was real too. [Writing] I felt his presence just as I feel yours here in this room. [Pause] Could that… be the dream sharing you spoke of?

OTTO: Let’s not leap to assumptions. Go on. The planks?

[Pause. Sounds of slow steps on wood]

NOONE, narrating:  We carefully walked each one, building to building. [Steps on terrain and wood, as well as faint bells] Below, the masked figures continued their walk too. Every now and then, a traveler would leave their place in line to take goods from the many merchants who’d offered all manner of soaps and perfumes. Their flowery smells mixed with… the fishy stench, pouring from the chimneys of the bathhouse…

[walking and bells continue]

NOONE: When we reached our final building, our only option was to head down the long ladder, sneaking around the side into an alleyway below. Jester was the nervous sort, so, I did my best to stir his courage and asked, [overlapping] “Have you another joke?”, and he replied,

JESTER (ov. with NOONE): “Oh, right! What happens to a stone that has overcome its greatest fear?”

NOONE: And there it was again. That… lost look. Like granny used to get. I asked him, [overlapping] “You don’t remember?” And Jester simply said,

JESTER (ov. with NOONE): “I’ll know it by the time I reach the bottom.”

NOONE: But, before I could follow… something called out from across the rooftop. A muddled voice, and then… I saw him. That man with- the impossible face. The same one from the room of glass jars, the – I can never focus on him!

[Narration stops]

OTTO: Noone, I need you to recall fine details.

NOONE: I told you!

OTTO: Especially when speaking of persons you’ve seen multiple times. Recurrence implies significance. 

NOONE: He’s a… broken mirror. Or a photograph all torn up. Impossible to piece back together.

OTTO: I have something. [Otto gets up from his chair, steps] A magic glue for your mind. 

[Steps, shifting, Otto sets the device up. Beeping and buzzing.]

NOONE: I don’t want to wear that.

OTTO: (immediately) You must. If you cannot remember specifics then I cannot help you. I must know about this mystery figure, I… simply must. 

[Shifting]

NOONE: Um… Alright then. 

[Noone puts on the device. Everything except Noone’s voice becomes slightly muffled]

NOONE: [pause] A pendant?

OTTO: This belonged to someone very important. Gazing into its spiral always gave me relief. I found it can be used to offer my patients that same relief through hypnotherapy… which will help you remember this, um…

NOONE: The Candleman. It’s my name for him.

[Shifting]

OTTO: I’d like you to gaze into the spiral. Watch it sway, back and forth. Back, and forth. Fall into the endless turning of the pattern within. As you drift away, drift back into dreaming. Drift into a world coming clearer. 

NOONE: Y-Yes… I see.

OTTO: Then, tell me of… the Candleman. 

NOONE, narrating: …The candleman stood before me. On the rooftop. [Faint, low breathing] He wore… a long filthy jacket. His presence…. it reminded me of… when the tide goes out. And his face… it moved beneath his hat. Like soup. Bits and pieces rising and sinking. Wait… I can see a little better now. 

NOONE: H-His eyes… are long slits. Skin-rough, sagging… like melting wax. He didn’t speak, but somehow I knew. The Candleman wanted me to open myself. To this place. Yes, he has for a while now. Every night. 

OTTO: (muffled) Every night?

NOONE: Oh. I can see it all. A web. He’s… been with me this whole time. Watching. Observing. Waiting…

OTTO: What does he want?

NOONE: I don’t know… [muffled yelling] Someone shouting. I turn to look,

OTTO: I’d like to keep talking about-

NOONE: No! When I turn back, the Candleman was gone. I-I rush to the ladder [Dream!Noone running, clunk]. At the bottom stood a- wart-covered brute with filthy arms. He must have broken away from the boardwalk, and something hung in his hand, flapping l-like a fish. He headed to the Bathhouse and… something told me to follow. 

[clanking]

NOONE: As I climb down the ladder, I passed by an open shop window, and poked my head inside. The merchant… spoke in- a raspy voice, [overlapping] “What’s your pleasure?” A desperate moan came from the customer, and he said [overlapping whisper] “Suds. To cleanse this profound skin.” And then… the merchant lifted- a bottle of pink liquid, and said “This will ease your pain.”

[Dream!Noone continues climbing down, lands]

NOONE: A-at the bottom of the ladder, Jester wasn’t there, so… I set off, making my way through- the overgrowth, that had eaten up the land around the Bathhouse.

[plants rustling] 

NOONE: Until, I reached some vines, crawling up a fogged window. 

[Window being opened, Dream!Noone entering and landing on the floor]

NOONE: I was in some kind of- store closet. [water dripping] The shelves were lined with… cleaning chemicals, and… brushes and buckets. The stink of bleach stung my eyes, so I rush through the door. 

[heavy door opening, echoey bath splashing]

NOONE: A room with shallow pools. And the same polluted taste in the air, as the stream by our apartment. 

OTTO: [writing, muffled] Water parasite preoccupation-

NOONE, Not narrating: (distressed) Something lives on. Even after the cure! Pinching my skin, pulling my organs, my head’s like- cracked pavement and my scalp is- itchy!- So itchy- urgh!!!

OTTO: Enough! Enough scratching. 

[Beeping, clicking as Otto unstraps the device. Beeping powers down, audio is clearer]

OTTO: (comforting) Noone, listen. There’s nothing on you. Nothing inside, either. It’s only you and me, and nothing else. 

[Two pops. Earplugs are removed, Noone gasps, audio is completely clear]

OTTO: It’s alright. You’re back. Safe and sound, as promised. 

NOONE: …Did…did it work? Were details glued back together?

OTTO: Some. Though many pieces are still missing… and this continual mention of headaches concerns me. I’ll look into possible causes and see what can be done. For now; the Bathhouse, you were inside, right?

NOONE, narrating: Yes. And, there was steam hung in the air, making it hard to see anything but… shapes. The shapes of… Bathers, unrobed and- unmasked. Some levered away, some crouched in the water, others huffed the sauna steam. The biggest… sat scrubbing himself with… [child struggling] with something that appeared alive. 

[distant splash, more struggling noises, scrubbing]

NOONE: Creeping through the steam, I hid behind a bucket [splash, child whines, growly mumbling] The big one… was before me, [Child yelling, growly voice] barely resembling a human. His- body was… raw and brown, and he rapidly repeated “Divide the grime from the divine” over and over. I suddenly realized wha- [splash, Jester struggling] who… the creature was scrubbing with.

NOONE: [Jester yells, scrubbing] It was poor Jester, sobbing and thrashing for his life. S-Stumbling in horror, I… I slipped on the slimey [squeak] tile and-

[all background noise stops]

NOONE: The whole room went silent, as they turned their heads… and began a haunting chant.

NOONE: (overlapping whisper) “Cleanse her, cleanse her!” Voices piled as their shapes stood and staggered into view, th-their bodies scrubbed into- raw spectacles, there was nothing I could do for Jester! So, I- I picked myself up, and ran for the door, but it was shut tight! [door clicking, whispers get louder] The Bathers drew near, arms reaching out, [more struggling] my hands grazed a crevice on the wall, which- which I slip- through just in time. 

[Whispers stop, door clattering, Dream!Noone breathing hard]

NOONE: There I stood in the storeroom, once more. The window was open [knocks on the door]- my one chance to escape. I climbed the shelves, [jars clinking] avoiding the jars and containers that filled the room with chemical stink. 

[knock, door breaks down]

NOONE: Glancing back, I saw the monster, standing in the broken door frame- Jester’s limp body under his arm. 

[clanking]

NOONE: His… wart-covered hand reached up, [Growl, Dream!Noone yelps] grabbing my leg, violently pulling me away, [shelf creaks] and all I could do was reach in hope, [creak] my hands grasped a jar full of white liquid, [creak, yelp] and as he ripped me down-

[Entire shelf breaks]

NOONE: The jar followed. 

[Glass breaks, Bather roars & groans. Everything goes quiet]

NOONE: The liquid covered him, head to toe, unleashing a cloud of gas that burned the very air, washing over me, sending me into darkness. …A strange satisfaction came from melting down that vile man. I wasn’t like that moth, searching for the light. I was quite… happy, surrounded by the dark. 

NOONE, finishing: Soon enough… I was back here. In the Copy. 

OTTO: …Hmm… A more intense, personally-rooted conflict this time, a desire to be clean- perhaps to wash away memories of an invasive experience that your anxiety is fixated on. Yet, what bemuses me is your insistence on actuality; claiming material presence of others, and environment. 

NOONE: But, didn’t you say I could be sharing dreams?

OTTO: Yes, but that’s a different phenomenon. We must prescribe further research. I will need to begin nightly tests and observations to aid in reaching differential diagnosis. 

NOONE: Experiments! Do we have to, Otto?

OTTO: They’ll help you feel better! And that’s what you want, isn’t it?

NOONE: …Well… yes. Of all things, it’s the sound of mum saying “Ni-night” I miss most. 

[shifting as both get up]

OTTO: The stone becomes a little boulder!

NOONE: Pardon?

OTTO: The answer! To Jester’s joke! It’s an old one. 

NOONE: (whispering) The stone becomes a little boul… Oh, [giggle]

OTTO: Now, before you pop off to bed, [ceramic scrape] pick out another colorful delight for being such a good girl. 

[ceramic click, wrapper crinkling]

OTTO: Sweets, for my sweet. 

[Click]

[Outro plays] 

[markrosewater]

Artifact Creature vs. Construct Redux

The comments in my previous ask about the relevance of "Construct" tell me I could have been more clear. Cards on the table, obvious as they are, I believe the creature type was a mistake. I'm well aware that I'm in the minority, and that even if it were possible to reverse course my opinion wouldn't hold any weight.

"Beast" is often mentioned as a 'catchall' type similar to Construct. However it isn't just a catchall -- it adds its own flavor. When I say it refers to a subset of "wild animal" that isn't a negative -- that tells the player something.

Now, what does "Construct" tell us? It would tell us that the creature was artificial -- except we already know that due to the Artifact type. This makes "Construct" redundant unless it servers another purpose. To paraphrase a favorite saying of yours, anything not serving the set should be cut.

The heavy overlap between Artifact Creature and Construct results in a not-quite-parasitic environment where caring about Constructs means you inherently want to care about Artifacts; and caring about Artifact Creatures is going to push you into trying to make Construct work. This limits players' creative agency.

So does it serve the set? The other explanation I see given is that it serves as a catchall because every creature needs a creature type. The implication being that there's no possible way Design could create the same number of Artifact Creatures without having that stopgap... I call bull; even if the bar wasn't as low as Akroan Horse being a Horse, I have more faith in Magic Design than that. More Artifact Creatures that are Soldiers, Fish, or any other type wouldn't hurt their presentation as Artifacts -- but it would allow them to see play in non-Construct focused decks. And if it does provide a relevant Design challenge? Well, to quote a designer a greatly respect:

Restrictions breed creativity.

Let me explain the creation of the Construct creature type. When Magic first came out, artifact creatures didn’t have creature types. I felt that was wrong, so I campaigned to get them added. I was successful and we added the “every creature needs to have at least one creature type” rule to artifact creatures.

Some artifact creatures had simple solutions. They could have clear artifact unique creature types. Golems could be Golems and Gnomes could be Gnomes. Other creatures felt close enough to existing creature types that we could use those. Yotian Soldier could be a Soldier and Clockwork Avian could be a Bird.

There was a group of artifact creatures that didn’t have a clear creature type. For example, what exactly is a Su-Chi? We chose to pick a general creature type as a catch-all. It had to be pretty vague though because it has to work for any artifact creature that we couldn’t otherwise identify.

What you see as a bug is actually a feature of Construct. It needs to be vague, so that it can be flexible. If an artifact creature can have a better option, it won’t be a Construct.

[chaos-lioness]

Happy Rosh Hashana guys have some marker experiments with my new favorite Jewish character of all time, Brian Jeeter. And Krejjh!!! ID below, lengthy design decision ramblings below that :)

[ID: A marker drawing of Krejjh and Jeeter from The Strange Case of the Starship Iris. Jeeter is a light-skinned human with short curly hair. Krejjh is an alien with four arms and mid-length hair in elaborate braids. They are lying on a mattress together with their arms and legs overlapping, partly covered by a blanket. Krejjh is face down and their limbs are spread out across most of the mattress. They are drawn in purple. Jeeter is face up and smiling slightly in his sleep, and drawn in blue. He has visible top surgery scars and oxygen tubing leads from under his nose to a machine beside the mattress. Also on the floor are two pager-like devices, a pile of notes and books, and a tablet showing two figures in elaborate hats. END ID]

Marker test number two has been marginally successful!! Still trying to figure out how best to get a degree of smoothness. My main regret with this is Krejjh’s sleeping position honestly. ‘Krejjh is exhausted flops face down and takes up the whole bed’ is, I maintain, a hilarious idea. But now we can’t see them smiling back at Jeeter! Their fancy braids are supposed to be a Dwarnian thing, I wanted to give them something appearance wise that could have cultural significance. I figured Dwarnians might have a variety of hair textures just like humans, so I wanted to go with something that works similarly for lots of different types of hair. I have them on a mattress to drive home the makeshift way they’re using the new ship (I intended this to be set mid season 2). The stuff on the floor is supposed to be coms, linguistics research, and everyone’s favorite Dwarnian soap. Also, big thanks to @high-voltage-rat for answering my hopefully spoiler free vague questions, this was a good drawing to have a resident Biomed Person for! Believe it or not a lot of work went into figuring out where Krejjh’s extra arms should go that would not have been possible without her anatomy textbooks and well-informed suggestions. (The muscles for the bottom arms are upside-down versions of the musculature in human shoulders (and Krejjhs’s top arms) if anyone was wondering. Also the bone structure is behind their digestive organs, so their stomach pokes out more than a human’s… which you could also see if I chose their sleeping position better. Alas.) Also for telling me enough that I could Google the right words to figure out an oxygen tank but Future but like the Right Amount of future. (The nose piece is name dropped so I left that pretty much unchanged, but rat said you’d usually need pressurization at night so the ‘tank’ is a little more flexible and technologically advanced than what we have right now in the real world. So it can act like a cpap and it squishes but you still gotta lug it around, keeping it nice and cannon aligned.) Finally, they’re so uh. Scantily covered because the ship is allegedly kept at 37 degrees… which for a while I thought was Celsius but maybe it’s Fahrenheit?? Anyway. 37 Celsius is really warm. So. It was the only logical way.

[rbrooksdesign]

Greetings!

Today, Plexus Projects has its online and in-gallery opening of a special exhibition -- “GUI/GOOEY” — this evening. Curated by founder Laura Splan, I am very excited to have been selected to exhibit in this group exhibition exploring my favorite subject: the interface of Art & Science! My work is under the “GUSH” subcategory. I am honored to be among those selected to have a gallery showing as well! The press release is in the LINK ABOVE. I would highly recommend that you follow up on some of the links to Laura’s own work, including her current show at the UC Irvine — it looks amazing!

My earlier solo Vitrine Exhibition “Oceans of Numbers” is still up for viewing.

~~~

Speaking of “Oceans of Numbers:”

Oceans of Numbers, Part 3

Our favorite barkeep's ^ dream went something like this:

Before the spiraling double-helical structure of the DNA molecule came to being -- you know, two sugar-phosphate strands wrapping around each other in a cylindrical form that are connected by the complementary pairing of their inner amino acid bases -- there most likely had to have been some form of pre-cursor shape and attractor in play.

Well, let's skip all the intermediary forms and go way back to the number forms, keeping in mind that they are just symbols for the real conceptual form -- quantity. Quantity of space and quantity of time. Distance traveled over ticks of the clock. Quantity of SpaceTime (ST). Yes, when you go from quantity 1 to quantity 2 you have motion: ST begins. And yes, all manifestations of energy and fields are simply expressions of synchronous, re-iterative, fractal-based pulse-propagations of individual, granular, quantum ST units. We see, become aware, develop consciousness as sentient beings at the peaks and sleep in the valleys.

Drawing on our previous "Oceans of Numbers," where certain ST quantities derived from the Exponential Power of 2 -- a.k.a. the Butterfly Fractal 1 -- gives us the simplest expression of doubling quantity 1 -->2, 2-->4, 4-->8,... we have now found that the numbers generated fall into two nearly-identical SETS or STRANS that appear to spiral around each other -- connected by a specific number -- one that is simply double its predecessor, albeit its role upon connecting to the other strand is different -- in a form that initially resembled that of the DNA double-helix. We refer to the individual group of defining parameters for any and all doublings as "containers" -- as they both express the BF1 and are candidates for being TRUE Mersenne Prime-Perfect Number pairings. The overlapping similarities have shown that any pattern of the Mp-PN pairings is only apparent within the context of considering ALL the "containers" expressions.

The initial DNA-like diagrammatic of the two STRANDS (Sets) show the PN "container" candidates connected by the doubling of the smaller PN of one to the CR (Complement Rectangle=xy) of the other larger, e.i. 28 x 2 = 56 and 56 is the CR of 120.

(see top 3 images: 1st is cylindrical double-helix: 2nd is split cone version diagrammatic; 3rd is overhead flattened cone diagrammatic)

.However, a crucial difference is apparent from the start. As one progresses along, all the numbers are expanding! We don't have a double-stranded cylindrical form -- no, we have a double-stranded conical form -- a cone! And a cone implies a small -- usually singular -- starting point that expands outward. Sound familiar? Yes, it is the shape of a quantum, granular number-fractal -- BF1 -- starting from quantity 1 and doubling itself as it pulse-propagates outward, before collapsing and repeating.

The STRAND 1 and 2 -- shown pulled apart -- coil together around each other, centered on their origin, quantity 1.

So what does this have to do with your Bank Account? Not much, but this analogy might help.

At your bank, you might have two accounts -- 1 & 2 -- that are nearly, but not exactly, identical. Of course each one has its own running balance, and at least at this bank, you can get a TOTAL running balance of all your assets at any time.

Differences between Account 1 & 2:

Account 1: the balance is NEVER evenly divisible by 24 after deposit, but the balance from one deposit to another is ÷24.

Account 2: the balance is ALWAYS evenly divisible by 24, and, the balance from one deposit to another is also ÷24.

Caveat: The running balance after deposit across individual Accounts 1 & 2 is NEVER evenly divisible by 24!

The BF1 STRANDS 1 & 2 are just like that! And, well, yes -- there are a few other differences:

STRAND 1: -- and ONLY STRAND 1 -- holds the TRUE and extremely rare Mersenne Prime-Perfect Number pairings.

STRAND 2: -- while appearing similar to 1 -- never holds ANY of the rare Mersenne Prime-Perfect Number pairings.

It should be pointed out that STRAND 1 also holds other "containers" that are NOT TRUE Mp-PN pairings.

So what does this have to do with the rest of "Oceans of Numbers?"

The 51 known Mp-PN pairings found exclusively in STRAND 1 are not only nearly identical to all the other "containers" -- and as such are stealthily hidden amongst an infinity of look a-likes -- but reveal themselves in only their purest, most minimalist manner: they have the least, minimalist number of divisors within ALL the "containers!" They are pure gemstones! Their resonance is pure!

The discovery of the Divisor Matrix Table (DMT) has put the entire "Oceans of Numbers" into context. The DMT holds ALL the natural whole numbers, and, all of their divisors. It is built from the natural doubling of quantity 1 in the form of the BF1. Yes, simple re-iterations of the fractal BF1 generates the entire, all-encompassing table of numbers and their divisors -- including the rare Mp-PN pairings. The implications for entanglement -- quantum entanglement -- entropy, order, and the passage of time are real. The only disorder one sees is that that is not yet resolved.

Is that the damn alarm clock? Whose counting anyway!

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If you go to the bottom of this page on my website, you will find more context. You will also find the four-part video series — “Numbers: Doubling Fractals Fill the Voids” that is included in the GUI/GOOEY exhibition. TIP: on Vimeo, you can change the playback speed by selecting the “gear” icon. TIP: don't miss the Part 4 video, it's the one featured in the gallery showing.

Here is the link for TES (Teachers, educators and students)

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