#and we could have her 'come brag on' us for like doing the dishes or cleaning our rooms

[k2e4]

had to save @thepioden s tags bc I am going to do this now

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

“zukuu, you have to stop making faces at him.”

insulted, izuku splutters. breaking eye contact to gasp at you.

“ i wasn’t making a face ! was i..?” he trails off, you giggle, you turn your back to your boyfriend once again to continue wiping down the last of the dishes.

“he’ll pout harder if you keep making that scary face.”

“i-i wasn’t trying to scare him !” your boyfriend exclaims, looking at your baby cousin again and slumping when he sees the pout still fixed onto his face, visibly dimming “i don’t understand what i did wrong..”

“zuku, i already told you. kuma always looks like that. you’ll get used to it.” you reassure, a teasing smile on your face. your boyfriend seems undeterred by your explanation and hides his face behind his hands again, peeking through his fingers hoping to see even the minuscule crack of a smile on your younger cousin’s face.

your aunt had asked you to babysit your younger cousin takuma after suddenly being called in for work and having no one to watch over him for the day. you were free, and agreed to help her out, takuma was a sweet little boy and you didn’t get to see him super often. so the more you could the better ! unfortunately this fell on the same day as when your boyfriend was meant to come over to your house, but ever the loving, helpful boyfriend he is, izuku insisted on wanting to come over to help you out. he gets to spend time with you and get along with a cute baby, that sounded like a great time to him. and not to brag, but kids always seemed to love him.

every kid except for takuma apparently. the little boy’s face seemed permanently stuck with a frown. his eyebrows stood furrowed and his chubby pinch-able little cheeks puffed out, obviously unhappy with izuku’s presence.

you’d tried to tell izuku that this was just takuma’s resting face. that he looked at everyone this way and that it always surprised strangers. but as loving and doting as he is, your boyfriend could aslo be endearingly stubborn. he was determined to get takuma to smile at him at least once today. and now it looked like he was trying peekaboo. you couldn’t help but snort at your boyfriend’s laughable attempts at making your little cousin’s poker face crumble. “aw man, that one usually always works..” you hear him mumble. you put the final plate into your cupboard and turn with a sigh.

“izuku.”

“no no, i got it.” without realizing it, izuku’s brows furrowed in concentration, which your baby cousin unfortunately mistook for a challenge, furrowing his eyebrows even harder and even huffing at him. the nail in the coffin it looks like, izuku gasps, looking at your cousin with a betrayed expression “ ah ! what’d i do ?!”

“you were glaring at him !” you giggle, your boyfriend throws his head back, exasperated. you pull out a chair and sit next to him, giggling and pulling on takuma's pudgy cheek. said little boy does not break eye contact with izuku. you can admit he's acting kind of strange. was he actually going out of his way to challenge him ? the thought makes you giggle again. you turn to look at your boyfriend's pouty face looking at the exchange between you and your cousin.

"i didn't mean to glare at him.." he whines, leaning into your touch when you put your hand in his hair.

"i know."

"i felt like we were making progress."

"i..kinda doubt that," you snort, scratching at his green locks. desperately, he looks back at you wide eyed "but we were i swear ! it felt like he was starting to like me !"

"mhm ?" you break into a fit of laughter, and soon after izuku joins you, laughing softly to himself and shaking his head. takuma blinks at you both in confusion, and it makes you smile harder. seeing you laugh so hard makes izuku smile harder too, cheeks glowing a cute pink.

"i..sound crazy don't i ?" he asks, grinning at you. you pretend to think it over to tease him, and he huffs affectionately.

"hmmm, a little." izuku shakes his head, dropping it in shame as he stares at his lap. he heaves a heavy sigh and it makes you giggle a little bit more.

"i really don't know what i'm doing wrong, babies usually like me.."

"but i told you you're not doing anything wrong, izu." you reach to pinch his cheeks next, he yelps a little. "kuma's only lookin' at you 'cus you're new. he'll get used to you in no time, kay ?" you smile. a beat passes and izuku nods, smiling back at you.

"but i don't know, he kinda looks like he has it out for me.." he whispers, you assume so takuma doesn't hear. how thoughtful.

"yeah i did think it was kinda strange how he hasn't stopped looking at you.."

he drops his head back at your words "i thought so..!"

"but that doesn't mean he doesn't like you, per se..maybe he's just weary of you !" izuku leans back, placing a hand over his chest like he's actually been struck. he looks over at takuma still sitting proudly in his high chair like a king.

"what's there to be weary of ? i'm really nice, i promise !" takuma's only answer is a blink "that's really intense.." you're boyfriend sweat drops, "i don't think i've had anyone look at me like that before."

"shouldn't you be used to being glared at by now since you've known bakugou since you were kids ?"

"i don't even think kacchan was this bad." you scoff, slapping at his sturdy arm. "don't say that, you liar !" your boyfriend laughs to himself. struggling to hold your laughter back as you play fight. you're interrupted by takuma's whine. his poker face finally somewhat melting as he pouts, big eyes going glossy as he reaches out for you with chubby little fingers. you immediately zoom over to the child's side.

"aaww babyy," you coo "you wanna be wif me, yeah ? cuutieeee," your voice rises up an octave. izuku blushes at how cute you look and he hates himself for feeling a smidge jealous your cousin had managed to grab your attention. he shakes his head to rid himself of those childish thoughts.

you hop the baby up in your arms to readjust him, tickling his little tummy which earns you a giggle, izuku feels his jaw drop to the floor so hard if he were in a cartoon it'd make a comically loud clang sound, now he's a bit jealous of you.

"i think he's a little hungry, i'll be right back izu." you press a quick kiss to his cheek before bounding off to go get the toddlers bag that your aunt had entrusted to you in your room. the little contact alone makes heat blossom all the way to izuku's neck and he can't fix his lips to say anything, nodding dumbly.

the last thing he sees before you leave the room is takuma's gaze fixed to him. izuku sends him a determined smile and a wave. he'll win him over soon enough.

[libraryofbronze]

Smut Idea: A woman moves to a secluded home to live with two male roommates far away from sociey as a live in sex toy in order to fulfill all of their sexual fantasies. Everyday and night she is fucked in a new way, leaving her pussy and body unimaginablly red, sore, and stretched. She is their personal whore and nearly constantly in use by one or the other or both or a vast array of fucking toys and tools.

Lyan could hardly remember what it had been like to be a normal girl. It felt like a lifetime ago, like a fading shadow cast by the flickering flames of a dying campfire. Soon to be extinguished by the coming dawn,

There was a cock inside of her. She was bent over, her breasts pressed into the wooden wall of the old house. Her hardened nipples tingled and jolted, each thrusting pressing her against the solid wood. It felt heavenly, the cock was hard and big, filling her up until tears spilled from her eyes. Her pussy hugged it, gripping it tightly even as pleasure roared through her like a torrent. Each thrust, each motion, each grinding penetration filled her mind with fire and cast those early days even more deeply into shadow.

She hadn’t always been such a cock-slut. She hadn’t always been a soaking, dripping mess of a woman. A toy reduced to her most primal functions, her only purpose to serve and please her betters.

No, that was not how she had started life.

Lyan yelped, a crackling orgasm spun through her nubile body. Her pussy twitched, and her master gave a grunt of satisfaction. He filled her up, his seed pouring into her pussy with a flood of heat and warmth. As he pulled out, she sank to her knees. Her chest heaved, rising and falling. Her eyes were wide, her auburn hair in a tangled mess.

“Better get back to the dishes,” the man chuckled. “When Robert gets back, you’ll be punished if they’re not done. And you know we hate to punish you.”

She felt him sweeping from the room, heard the groaning of old floorboards under his weight. Just like that, she’d been used, fucked, filled and left.

Lyan knelt on the floor, her body trembling. Slowly, she ran one hand between her legs. Her labia were a little swollen. She’d been used a lot lately. A tingle of pain marked the contact. As Jason’s seed dripped from her lower lips, she noted she’d have to beg for a break soon.

Jason and Robert were good about giving her breaks when she needed them. They’d fuck her in the ass for a few days and give her time to recover. Lyan pulled herself to her feet. Her legs were still shaking, little sparks of ecstasy danced across her calves and thighs, and she had to lean against the wall, panting and groaning until she was able to stagger back over towards the half-finished dishes. The soapy water had now grown cold, but there was always plenty of power to heat more.

Running out of money was not a thing that either Robert or Jason had to fear. She didn’t know exactly what they did, but they were rich. Richer than rich, really. The kind of people who were so wealthy they didn’t need to flaunt it. They didn’t like to show off. They wore normal clothes and drove practical, rugged cars. They didn’t boast or brag and they certainly never made a big thing of it.

In fact, the only concession to their wealth was the house itself. It was old, a rebuilt farmhouse from the century prior. A forest had grown up around it, enveloping it slowly over time. The two of them had taken it as a personal project, restoring it and stocking it with the very finest of everything. Yes, it was miles and miles from the nearest civilization but when it had literally anything you could ever want on offer, who cared about the drive?

And ‘’anything’’ of course, included Lyan.

When the dishes were done and put away, she went to report to Jason. He was sitting comfortably in the living room, tucked up against a table upon which there sat an expensive-looking laptop. He didn’t spare her a look, and she figured he was probably doing something important. Playing the stocks? Racing horses? Hunting humans for sport?

Lyan realised she really didn’t know what he did for fun.

Besides her, of course.

“The dishes are done, sir,” she took on an appropriately servile tone. Sometimes, she liked to tease. To bait, to taunt them into punishing her. it was always fun when that happened.

She remembered one time she’d done something particularly bad. They had tied her hands above her head, draping them from a hanging rafter. Robert had taken the hot wax to her body, splashing it across her pale skin with quick, sudden motions. Lyan had whimpered, jumping with each searing pinprick. The feeling had been so intense, so quick. When the hot wax had curled about her left nipple, she’d let out a howling cry, but that was nothing to what she felt when Robert intentionally let a bead of it touch her glistening clitoris.

Oh, how she’d shook! How she’d shivered! She’d been begging for forgiveness by then. Her body clenching, her pussy hot and tight and wet.

They had taken turns fucking her for the rest of the night. First in the pussy, then in the ass. Just when both men were spent and she was sure it was finally over, Jason had revealed that he’d brought in a new shipment of toys. A crate - a whole fucking crate - was waiting to torment her until the dawn.

By the end, she’d been dripping, ruined, a total mess on her hands and knees begging her masters for forgiveness.

In the present, Lyan gave a little moan. Her pussy throbbed, a wave of tightness expanded between her legs. The idea of invoking another punishment was tempting…

But she was already aching. She had to pace herself. That was part of The Agreement.

The agreement. Yes. How long ago had that been? Another life, surely? It felt like it had happened to another girl. A normal girl. A girl still in college. A girl who had to worry about qualifications, about jobs, about a future which was so uncertain.

What would that Lyan think now if she could only see her future self?

“You’d best be ready to go the full way if you’re going to start playing with yourself, slut.”

Lyan’s face coloured. She’d gotten too caught up in the past! Her fingers had started to work the bud of her clit, teasing it with delicate touches and feathery caresses as she remembered her past punishments.

“S-sorry sir,” she said. “I can’t help myself….”

“You are forgiven,” Jason waved a magnanimous hand. “It’s what we made you, after all.”

It was true. That was what they had made her. What she had let them make her.

The agreement, an offer of damnation that seemed to spring from her deepest desires. Total submission. Free use, surrender. Her body would no longer be her own. She would cede control to these men, allow them to use her in every way. To fuck her, to humiliate her, to tease her and torment her.

And she loved it all. She lived for it. At twenty-one years old, Lyan was a professional slut. A free-use whore for her owners and any guests that they chose to bring to the small, isolated house. She’d had more sex in the last year than most women had in three. She was trained, submissive, degraded and humiliated.

And she loved every second of it.

[boopshoops]

💆 and 🏘 for yuu if thats alright?

OK- so a lot of yall asked for the same emojis SO i'm gonna format Yuu's all in one post then do another for Jocia+Ezra-

UHHH DJJDJD THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ANSWERING QUESTIONS IN CHARACTER so lets say the default text is me/narrator then orange is Yuu

@ceruleancattail @the-trinket-witch @rabioa @scint1llat3

💆how do you relax?

"Well, let's get right into it then, shall we?" Yuu clasped her hands together, a sly smile spreading onto her lips, "Relaxation... well I guess listening to music would be my go to. Genre doesn't matter to me mostly," The woman tapped her chin, lightly humming as she thought, "Though I suppose my definition of 'relaxing' isn't exactly universal... I often enjoy getting up and around and even dancing a bit, maybe having a quick chat as well... it helps me center myself. Too many thoughts in this big brain of mine sometimes!~ A way to focus is most definitely what relaxation is to me. Some people find it chaotic, but I don't care about some people. It's fun to me. Besides, it's not like I never sit down and rest."

🏘️where's your happy place?

"Huh... some of these questions are rather deep, aren't they?" Yuu cleared her throat, doing her best to keep a neutral expression, "Much like a lot of people, my happy place isn't an actual PLACE. It is more like a state. All that being said, I'm... not quite sure. Not to say that I'm not happy, of course! There are hard times and good times, but I suppose I'm still trying my best to find such a 'place' for me in this new world. Let's call this one a work in progress, yes? I'll get there eventually, not to worry. I have my plans, of course~"

✏️What are your hobbies?

"Oh! This is a fun one. I'm a musician. I have been taking band and theater courses my whole life," Yuu lifted her head triumphantly, gladly taking the opportunity to brag, "Singing, acting, playing instruments... I managed to get into a pretty prestigious performing arts school back home, and what more could one ask for than to spend their life doing what they love?" Her peppiness suddenly dropped, resulting in a roll of her eyes, "Not that it's useful now that I'm stuck here though. Damn Crowley."

🥣what's your favorite food?

"Bungeoppang!" The prefect chirped, leaning forward in her (imaginary) seat for this (imaginary) interview, "Or, ah- taiyaki, or bread with a sweet red bean filling. I was trying to learn more about my ancestry, and came across this pastry thanks to my father. Originally I didn't think I was the biggest fan of sweets, but, wow~ Only then, after I fell in love with it, did I learn it wasn't even a traditional dish from my father's home... figures. Nonetheless! You'll have to try some!"

"Ah, Here's a fun fact for you, I learned the language a long time ago along with trying to learn more about my family's history, but no one here seems to recognize it, which... makes sense, I guess. It was a bummer at first, but then I learned I can simply say whatever I want without them understanding me. What a breath of fresh air~"

The woman momentarily giggled, "...배고파요"

🙂where do your morals lie?

"Hmph. What a complete 180 of a question..." Her lips pursed into a pout. She offered up a quick glare, but it didn't last very long at all, "I'm just trying my best to exist and let others exist at the moment!" She beamed with the flip of a switch, her suspiciously innocent smile nearly blinding. She kept this one brief. Barely an answer.

🥰do you think you're attractive?

"Yes," The woman answered... almost too quickly, "I like how I look. I spend a lot of time on myself, so it's only natural to get a bit of an ego boost from that, yes? Confidence is a healthy thing! I spent a lot of time carefully crafting my sense of style, it makes me feel... like me." Yuu momentarily fluttered her lashes, accompanied by laughter through a rhythmic tease, "Come onnnn~ you get it, right? You know I'm just a sweetheart? Completely innocent and well-meaning? Aren't I just like a princess? Of COURSE I'm attractive."

😍are you a romantic?

"....Hm," The woman paused, thinking deeply about the question in a moment of silence, "It depends on what your definition of 'romantic' is in this case, but I'd say I'm rather neutral. It's been awhile since I've been in a relationship myself, so I can't really say for sure..." Yuu tilted her head, crossing one leg over the other as she leaned back in her seat. Striking a pose to simply ponder.

"I'm not a hopeless romantic, but I highly value romantic gestures. Does that make sense? I particularly value physical touch along with gift receiving as far as love language goes. At least, that's how it used to be with my ex-girlfriend. I don't think that has changed too much. So, hey! If you're interested, feel free to just hand over your credit card as a gift, I'll get back to you," The woman finished with a joke, attempting to turn the mood away from being sour.

"ALSO HELLO YUU SHI YOU ARE GORGEOUS HELLO LIKE ARE YOU AN ANGLE FROM HEAVEN??? CAUSE YOU'RE A-CUTE"

The prefect blinked, leaving an uncomfortable amount of awkward silence as she read the words on the page of (imaginary) interview questions.

She held back a snort, doing her best to hide a guilty grin along with her horrible sense of humor, "Wh-Who wrote this? Who wrote these questions?" She giggled to herself, setting down the page in finality, "Sevens, that's awful... I love it. I'm well aware, but thank you. I needed the laugh today."

"Will that be all?"

Ask game!

[mchib]

I need some Rize and Shuu friendship headcanons!

thank u anon!

i want to say ive never written a fanfic or anything of the sort so im not experienced in that field of writing but i do like do do character analasys and like headcanoning things so feel free to share any opposing views!!

first and foremost i feel like they have a common character flaw that they expect nothing less of an extravagant lifestyle even though both of them attempt to uphold and fulfil this different ways i feel like they would find great company in like luxurious or over the top things and they could perhaps be one of the only people that dont harbor distaste or skeptical feelings towards each other upon learning of the others hobbies. they also have certain tastes and are both picky eaters in their own ways so i imagine a lot of discussions would be had about what characteristics make someone more tasty. that being said i think shuu would continuingly tell rize that shes way too messy and she should invest in self control or at least be more private about her eating habits lolol.

i also feel like they would find solace in each others company talking about like art and philosophy although i imagine shuu already had more than enough people to rant to i think that rize would definitely genuinely listen and engage. if they fought or had a disagreement i imagine one of them being stuck head first in a concrete wall and then shuu would refuse to to her for like a day and call her a barbaric hoodlum behind her back but no real feelings or resentment would comply. i feel like a normal person having a conversation with any of the two would somehow contain an interference of something along the lines of 'woah woah woah you cant say that man thats too far' because they both make pretty morbid jokes but if it were just the two i feel like they would feel as though they could freely speak their mind without anyone wondering how they were raised or what set of events led to such absurd jokes being recited in such grim circumstances.

i feel like shuu would feel sort of be offended meeting rize upon hearing that her insides were used to turn kaneki half ghoul as even when kaneki loses all sanity his and rize's personalities are not compatible in the slightest, and so before learning to get over it he would feel kind of awkward around her because he wants to be mad at her but he knows it wasnt her fault at the same time so hes trying to be civil about it. meanwhile she would think of him as an antisocial snob and try to brag to him about how she made something of herself without being spoon-fed and is able to manage her giant appetite while on the run from the ccg and ghouls alike.

when shuu is like in his terminally ill granny state i feel like she would stay by his side but also be discouraging saying stuff like 'men should suffer in silence' and 'a public execution would be more appealing'. i feel like when they go out together shuu would try really hard to convince her to clean up so they can look fresh as hell and go fancy places but rize always ends up consuming some random homeless guy on the street. rize gives off 'i want to be with the bourgeoiseses' vibes but when they come around she just doesnt want to put in the effort. 'just kick reason to the curb and come with me!' (can you tell i do lyric analasys).

i feel like rize would like use shuu's rich people resources to make stuff like lets pose a hypothetical that ghouls could eat cookies. rize would use shuu's kitchen and ingredients to make the most foul tasting cookies and then put a sticky note on them telling shuu not to touch. then he flips out. rize is also very not used to not having to do dishes or anything in his household so she feels weird about being emptyhanded while others make the food. she'll be trying to hide her pleasure with being treated with such luxury but you can definitely see her grinning at the dinner table. we know she has table etiquette from her and kaneki's date but whats to stop her from completely disregarding all manners when shes in the presence of ghouls? i feel like she'd be kinda gross the first few times over cuz men aint shit but she kind of grows into being at least presentable at dinner.

when they r in the car shuu wants to be passanger princess but he doesnt trust rize behind the wheel. hes not the hero we deserve, but hes all we have right now. irrelevant but if rize was driving she'd like crash on the highway for fun or something. she has a fake license that says something like risse kaminishi from district 12

ok thats all i can think of rn & sorry if i mischaracterized shuu im not nearly as much of an expert on his character but i do enjoy him a lot

[jiaoji]

The talk

Lan WangJi has always been reserved, quiet and cold. Never in all his life did romantic relationships seem as attractive as his classmates murmured and bragged to each other.

Until Wei WuXian.

Lan WangJi now understood the plea, having Wei WuXian clingying on his neck and kissing him like his life depends on it.

They meet at the first year at high school. Wei WuXian was flirty and making jokes for Lan WangJi in the first day, everyone thought they hated eachother, and Wei Ying as well, because Lan WangJi was unusual cold and angry at him.

But after a year, they finally had a friendship and after more months, Wei Ying asked him out. Nobody actually knew about it, but their "rivalry" became Wei WuXian's favorite thing to provoke his boyfriend.

Wei WuXian had sneaked Lan WangJi into his room with any excuse to FengMian, the only one who was home at the time. In the kitchen, Jiang FengMian finished washing the dishes, enjoying the rare silence of his house.

He sighed with a satisfied smile and started setting the table. However, a strange noise coming from the bedroom drew attention.

Loud squeaks and sighs. Jiang FengMian sensed something was wrong and walked over to the door, which, unfortunately, was only a crack open. He opened it without much thought and then Lan WangJi and he exchanged wide-eyed glances.

Jiang FengMian, "..."

Lan WangJi, "..."

Lan WangJi had his hands tightly gripped on Wei WuXian's thighs, who was on his back, very busy kissing Lan WangJi's neck.

FengMian closes the door and coughs quickly. Perhaps he should have a talk with A'Ying, to understanding that he was no longer a child now.

Lan WangJi is unable to look at FengMian, as well as Wei WuXian once he heard what Jiang FengMian saw. He should apologize, along with Lan WangJi.

Wei WuXian, "Did Uncle Jiang see?!" Lan WangJi held him tightly around the waist so that Wei WuXian wouldn't slide off his lap as he squirmed to look at the door.

Ears red, Lan WangJi remembered the awkward silence and the stares he exchanged with Jiang FengMian.

Wei WuXian didn't know whether to laugh or cry, "I'm going to talk to Uncle Jiang..."

Lan WangJi, "I should apologize too."

Wei WuXian, "You should!"

At the end of the hall, the two looked around, hiding as they searched for the owner of the house, as silent as ever.

Wei WuXian let out a nervous laugh, "Did he leave?"

Above him, Lan WangJi was still looking around, when he noticed something on the dining table.

Lan WangJi came out of hiding, "There's a note-!"

Wei WuXian tilted his head, curious why Lan WangJi just stopped talking, "And what else, Lan Zhan?" to the tiptoeing and hands resting on his boyfriend's shoulders, Wei WuXian peeked at the note and noticed something at her side.

"I went out to do some shopping, when I arrive we can talk.

Please protect yourselves properly."

They both froze and blushed at the sight of the condom set.

Heavens!! What did Jiang FengMian think? They were 17, but they haven't done anything like that yet!

Wei WuXian didn't know whether to grab the condom or hide his face in his hands. Lan WangJi was too strict and innocent for such things! Even when they make out, Lan WangJi seem very shy, what Wei WuXian finds really cute actually.

Meanwhile, Lan WangJi thanked Jiang FengMian, he wouldn't have to use the condoms he bought himself a few days ago without looking too much in embarrassment, that he asked one of the people who worked there for help...

She gave a much smaller number than he could use. He could have complained, of course, if he'd had the face for it.

In the end they didn't do much. Wei WuXian laughed and said that Jiang FengMian might have misunderstood, so he tripped over his own feet and flirted with Lan WangJi to convince him to have lunch while they saw a documentary about bunnies.

Lan WangJi grabbed the condons without Wei WuXian noticing.

When Jiang FengMian came back, the two of them were cuddling together on the sofa. Secretly hoping his couch was clean, he woke the young couple and sat down in the armchair.

Jiang FengMian, "I think we should talk about this."

It was awful!

Uncle Jiang congratulated the two on their courtship, what was nice, but then looked at Lan WangJi and asked him to take good care of Wei Ying.

Lan WangJi responded to that request just as seriously, and Wei WuXian wanted to dig a hole and hide. Wei WuXian asked if Jiang FengMian could not say anything about it, what he agreed.

But it got worse!!

Uncle Jiang began an uncomfortable sex lesson, accidentally quoting contraceptives. He certainly expected to have this conversation with Wei Ying and his girlfriend, not Wei Ying and his innocent boyfriend.

When it was over, Lan WangJi thanked Jiang FengMian for the advice, who looked very pleased with himself after that conversation.

He would certainly do better with his own children when they had the talk.

Outside, the two stopped in front of the gate, hand in hand.

"..."

"..."

Wei WuXian, even in that situation, needed to be ridiculous, "Don't worry, Lan Zhan, I'll take care to not get pregnant."

"Wei Ying!"

Wei WuXian's laughter filled Lan WangJi's reddened ears.

[chimivx]

TASTE. -> 'Haven' from the POV of Hyunjin. (Part Three of Six)

summary: 'It was the most free I’ve felt in ages, it was liberating, and it was because of Felix. He wanted to get to know me, for me. He wanted to listen to me, to listen to me. He was genuine, and he cared.'

word count: 9k

warnings: 18+, infidelity themes all throughout, toxic friendships/relationships, sexual content, alcohol abuse, struggles with mental health themes, cursing, if I missed anything PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

a/n: Part Three, oh my god. These people are still a mess. I was hoping this part would've accelerated us faster in the story, but I am unfortunately really enjoying this journey. Enjoy this, and please leave me your thoughts! YES, I had to name the female MC. If she has your name, congrats!

Sliding out from beneath the Ford I had been stuck under for half an hour, I sat up and drug my palm over my forehead without a doubt smudging some grease where I was hoping to wipe away sweat. It was two o’clock in the afternoon and already boiling hot. It was just me, myself and I in the garage today, as per usual, so I opened every tiny window and left the workshop door open, along with the door to our office.

Blink-182 was blasting from the radio, the volume nearly maxed out in an attempt to drown out any lingering thoughts that hung around my subconscious. These were the days I longed for. Days alone were peaceful, and quiet, aside from the music, and I could keep to myself, get my shit done, and not fuck anything, or anyone, up. 

I knew cars better than people, I could fix them faster, too. Though, most times I drug my work out over a couple of days only because I enjoyed it that much.

It was almost like my brain could shut off when I was focused on work. I could do it with my eyes closed. And come to think of it, I actually have, on a dare, and I still repaired everything perfectly.

The two other guys that work in the garage with me, one of them the owner, both didn’t think I could do it. A couple of months ago when a BMW was sent our way with a screwed up starter motor, completely dead, the two of them grumbled over the task while I boasted about being able to replace it with my eyes shut. Neither believed me, so naturally beers were cracked open that night, we spent some extra hours in the garage, and I replaced the sucker with a bandana tied over my eyes with little help.

Talking about myself always made me uneasy, but if someone were to ask me what secret talents I had, I’d for sure brag about that. One of the sparse moments where I actually felt proud of myself.

Slapping a hand to the concrete beneath me I hoist myself to my feet and round the vehicle to get inside of it, being careful to not put my dusty boots on the clean carpet of the sedan. It was a silver Ford Taurus that belonged to a woman in her forties with two boys in intermediate school, so I wasn’t too worried if I left it a little dirty. The backseat gave off obvious signs that two boys around the age of ten occupied that space.

Shoving the key that sat in the cupholder into the ignition, I twisted it, and smiled as the car started. The woman, who’s name was Sharon, or Sherry, just dropped it off this morning with her kids and her husband who drove the three of them away in a pick up truck. Both adults had dropped complaints of other places taking a week to fix their vehicles problem, making them dish out hundreds of dollars for a small problem I took care of in a few hours. They were pleasantly surprised when I told them that it would be done today, and it would cost not even half of what they’ve had to pay before.

Sharon-Sherry almost gave me a hug, I thought the woman was going to fall to her knees. She placed a hand on my shoulder, thanking me a crap ton, babbling on and on about her boys and how they’re soccer players, and she needs the car to get them to practices and games, and her husband’s a cop and works weird hours… I learned a bit too much about her. 

But, the woman cupped my cheek before she walked away to get into her husband's truck and she gave me a genuine smile. A smile that wrapped my heart in comfort. It was a mom's smile.

The comfort broke in half when she called after her boys, beckoning them to get into the truck.

“Shaun! Felix! Let’s go, your coaches are waiting!” she had waved at the boys that were kicking around the gravel rocks in front of the office door.

With a gulp I had taken a quick glance around the lot before I questioned her. “Felix?” 

“My youngest,” she turned to me with a proud smile. “He and Shaun are a year apart. You never hear that name around here, do ya? Felix.” 

At that moment I had wondered if she’d noticed my pale skin go even ghostlier. I had shaken my head and cleared my throat.

“No,” I answered. “It’s… one of a kind.”

Sharon-Sherry agreed with me, then continued on to her children, ushering them into their fathers running truck, making sure they were buckled before she jumped up into the passenger seat.

The happy family drove away, leaving me with their Ford and a pin in my heart.

A quiet day alone, lost in my work without haunting thoughts was what I wanted, and I almost had it.

Sitting back in Sharon-Sherry’s seat with my boots still hanging out of the door, I rest my head against the cushion and take a deep breath. I may have had the radio blasting, I may have been elbow deep in bolts and grease, I may have been on auto-pilot for three hours, but I couldn’t get those big brown eyes outta my head.

Even prior to his name being spoken he infected my mind.

Last night should’ve been a blur. It should’ve been a drunken blur, a second thought this morning when I rolled out of bed and got myself ready for work while Jade slept soundly between the sheets. Instead, it was the very first thing I thought of. Felix.

If he wasn’t such a nice person it would’ve pissed me off more than it kind of already did. I couldn’t be mad at him. He didn’t do anything wrong. It was my own screwed up brain that forced this shit upon me, every damn time. Incredibly annoying. 

“Don’t do that,” I grumbled to myself, rubbing the bridge of my nose with my middle finger, closing my eyes tight. “I’m not annoying.” I repeat aloud what Felix had said to me last night.

On top of that, he also told me to talk to Jade. To talk things out with her, actually talk to her. And I didn’t do that. Not yet at least, last night she couldn’t even let me get a word in, but it’s not like I tried.

Regaining consciousness on the kitchen floor yesterday was a wake up call, and the following evening at Haven just added more fuel to the fire. Talking things out with Felix, admitting what I’ve done to someone other than Jade was a bitch slap to the face. Saying it aloud to someone on the outside of the situation really did make me sound clinically insane, and it was embarrassing. On top of the things I was feeling for Felix, the shame from fully realizing what I’ve done and why I’ve done it was suffocating.

I had to break up with Jade. If she wasn’t going to do it first, I had to be the one to break it off. Especially now that I think I’m harboring actual interested feelings for Felix. 

He didn’t want to be one of the others, and I wasn’t about to make him one- as scary as it felt to think about getting involved with somebody else. 

Jade still lingers after everything. Who’s to say Felix would stick around if something happened? He even said it himself last night that he would leave someone if they did to him what I’d already done to Jade.

Regardless, he stuck by my side yesterday. He seemed to care about me even after I let the shit spill. I should really just try to be his friend. I need to try to be his friend, before anything. He wasn’t someone I wanted to hurt.

Then again, Jade was once someone I never wanted to hurt.

“Jinnie?” Jade’s voice called into the garage from the driveway. Popping my eyes open I didn’t even realize I had closed, I sat forward and spotted her through the streaky windshield. I made a mental note to clean Sharon-Sherry’s windows for her before she came back to get her car.

Jade circled the Ford and stood beside the open door. “What’re you doing?” She was dressed for work, she was on the night shift this evening at the restaurant. Her hair was pulled out of her face and her colorful name tag sat to the left of her heart.

“Just… making sure the car started.”

“Your eyes were closed, I thought you fell asleep,” she said, her eyes taking me in up and down, and again. Shaking my head slowly, I start to smile.

“Not exactly,” I said. Turning the car off I dropped the keys into the cupholder and got out of Sharon-Sherry’s seat, taking the top of the door out of Jades hand and into my own so I could close it.

“Okay, good,” Jade nodded, taking a step backward so I could stand on my feet. “You shouldn’t be in here with the cars running, you know that.” Giving her a curious look I brought myself back around the front of the car to lift the hood. Jade followed right behind me.

“I know that,” I sighed, pulling on a few car parts, making sure everything was good to go. This family had to be called as soon as possible. “You know I know that, but I’ve gotta get it out of here somehow.” Leaning against the car with my elbows, I turned to look at her. She was wearing her nervous eyebrows, though she was trying to hide them. She’s made this face every single time I started to bring up a… girl.

“Yeah,” her voice was soft. “I know you know… I just… got worried about you.” Her eyes fell to the motor of the car, glancing around at all the different parts.

“Are you okay?” I asked after a bout of silence between us. The radio was still blaring nonsense. Jade met my gaze and took a quick breath. 

“Yeah, yeah, no, I’m fine,” she shook her head, “I just… Are you okay?”

I stood up straight, resting a hand to the small of my back.

“I’m fine.”

Jade’s eyes begged me to say more, but I didn’t know if I could. Here I was hoping I’d have a little more time at work before I had to go home and try to talk things out with her, but she showed up unannounced. She’s never done this, even back when things were good. Work was separate for us, our own thing.

She waited a couple more seconds for me to say more, but realizing that I wasn’t going to, she rolled her eyes the slightest and dug into the purse she had over her shoulder.

“Here,” she said, handing me a bottle of water that was still kind of cold. I assumed this was her excuse to mask why she had actually come here.

Taking it carefully I gave her a small smile. “Thanks,” I said, and almost inquired why she was being nice to me, or acting funny.

Then she said the words that made my heart stop.

“Felix called.”

Maintaining my composure I cracked the water open and took a long sip, the coolness relieving the heat I’d been baking under. Swooshing the liquid around my mouth for a bit, I swallowed and nodded, slowly. Then I met her gaze.

“What’d he want?” I asked in the most monotonous tone I could’ve ever conjured up. Jade folded her arms over her chest and sighed.

“He… Jinnie, he wanted to know if you were okay,” she said, her eyebrows knotting together. Whispering, she took a step closer to me, “He told me what happened.”

The anxiety I had been suppressing since I saw her face began to bubble up. That was a vague ass sentence.

He told me what happened.

Felix probably told her that I came onto him in the parking lot of Haven. Stupidly drunk, I forced myself upon him and tried to kiss him. He had to tell Jade as soon as humanly possible, to protect her from the lies I would spread. It was nauseating how I couldn’t keep it in my pants, and everyone agreed. It’s me, I’m the problem, and every single one of them knows it.

“He said you had a panic attack,” Jade said, ripping me out of my tomb of a brain. “You haven’t had one… in forever.”

The breath I took was painful, but full of utmost relief. Out of all of the things Felix could’ve shared with Jade, I’m not excited it had to be this, but it was better than the latter.

“Um, yeah,” I mumbled, crinkling the plastic bottle between my dirty fingers. There wasn’t a reason to lie, or to pretend like it didn’t happen. She looked pretty beat up about it so I’m not sure there was much more I could say to make her feel worse. 

Although… I could tell her I’d been having them almost daily…

“Why didn’t you tell me,” she said.

“I didn’t want to ruin your night,” I shrugged.

Jade rolled her eyes. “You wouldn’t ruin my night, why would you think that?”

Shrugging again, I take another gulp of water.

“Stop doing that,” she mimicked my shoulders and swatted a hand toward me, “Talk to me. Why would you think you’d ruin my night if you didn’t feel good?” 

Dropping my arms by my side I pressed my lips together and held in a sigh. Toying with the bottle in front of my chest nervously, I half shrugged, then rolled my head back with a groan.

“I told you I didn’t feel good,” I whispered.

“What?” Jade cocked her head to the side, pointing an ear toward me. Clenching my jaw, I dropped my soft glare to hers.

“I told you. Last night. I didn’t feel good,” I said clearly. Watching the gears shift in her brain behind her gorgeous eyes, I finished the water she brought me and walked away from her to toss it into the garbage just on the inside of the office door. 

When I turned back around I found that she hadn’t moved a muscle. Her eyes were checking me out, though. She loved it when I looked like this.

Last summer I’d do it on purpose. Smear some grease on my forehead, dirty my jeans, rip the neck of my t-shirt just a bit so that when she got her teeth on it she’d be able to tear it right off of me. I truly, honestly, don’t know what it is about girls finding guys attractive when they’re an absolute mess.

I’d come home sweaty, smelling like an old garage with bandages around my fingers, and she was a sucker for it. Personally, I didn’t get it.

“When did you tell me that?” she asked, and I immediately envisioned how she looked beside Chan last night.

“You asked me to dance with you, and I didn’t want to,” I said. She averted her gaze, glancing around the garage that was in disarray. It seemed this discussion was going to go on longer than expected, so I continued my work. Closing the hood of the Ford, I turned on the heels of my boots and started to straighten up the mess I had made.

“Nelly Furtado,” she said quietly. Giving her a look over my shoulder, I huffed a laugh and shook my head. “Oh, c’mon, I love Nelly Furtado.” The smile that danced on her lips convinced me to smile.

“Oh, I know,” I copied her tone, putting a couple of tools into a metal drawer, then I muttered to myself, “Can’t believe that’s what that makes you think of.”

“I was dancing with Chan, right?” 

“Sure were,” I sang, bending over to gather a wrench that laid partially beneath a tire- where I wished to be at the moment.

“Why do you have to say it like that?” her tone took a wicked turn.

Tossing the wrench into the drawer, I spun around with furrowed brows. “…What?”

“You make it sound like I was doing something wrong, like it’s a crime to have fun with my friends.”

Taking a breath, I grumbled, “I never said that.”

“Then, how come, every time Chan gets brought up you get all pissy. You know he’s my best friend, you’ve never been able to accept that. Whenever he’s around…”

I turned it off.

Whichever part of my anatomy was listening to her, I turned it off.

I finished straightening up my work space in the minutes it took for her to tell me off, leaving me with enough time to hear her say, “You don’t even try with Minho anymore.”

I’ve never moved faster, turning myself around to flash her a glare that could kill.

“Don’t I?” I balled my fingers into fists.

“He says you don’t.”

“You saw us last night at the bar, right? We were having a fantastic time,” I sneered. “Didn’t it seem like it?”

Jade, who still had her arms folded, shrugged. “I guess, I dunno, I was a little drunk.”

“Then let me clear it up for you,” I said, taking three steps toward her. “He found me after the panic attack Felix told you all about.” Her eyes show no sign of cracking, she was maintaining her ground. I wasn’t even sure when this became a competition. “Me and Felix were fine, things were good, I was good, and then he came over with his little puppy dog on a leash, and the two of them harassed Felix.” 

If she wasn’t going to question what Minho made me think she was going to question- I was not going to bring it up.

“What they said, the word they used?” I couldn’t imagine what my face looked like. “Felix doesn’t care who knows he’s gay, he told us himself months ago that he’s been out since he was fifteen.”

Jade blinked a couple of times and focused down on the concrete.

“Your friends made a shitty move,” I said, nodding. “There isn’t a person on earth who should use that word. It’s disgusting.” 

“My friends,” she said, looking back up at me.

“Yeah,” I dug. “Your friends. My friends don’t talk to people that way.”

Her lips parted to throw something back at me, but she hesitated and snapped her jaw shut. I knew what she wanted to say. I could see it on her face.

What friends?

“I didn’t know that happened,” she opted to say instead. Folding my hands together I let them dangle in front of my thighs as I leaned backward to rest my body against one of the workbenches.

“Well, it’s not like Felix was just gonna tell anybody he got belittled, was he?”

Jade jabbed a finger toward her heart. “He’s my friend too, Jinnie. They all are. Felix is too nice, he’s not going to start something for no reason.”

My temper almost snapped. “No reason? They fucking called him-”

“Don’t yell at me! I’m not the one who said it,” her own anger shone in her eyes, much like mine. “God, we can’t even have one conversation without you screaming.”

“Without- are you kidding?” I sighed heavily, a sadistic smile appearing on my lips. “If you listened to me I wouldn’t have to do that.”

Jade snickered and shook her head. “And what am I supposed to do with…” her voice trailed off as she dropped her arms to her side and slouched over a bit. With her voice flat as can be, shot me an empty look to groan, “This.” She stood up and adjusted her posture. “So annoying.”

My heart twisted. It twisted until I thought I was going to go dizzy and fall to the dusty ground of this garage.

“Yet you’re still with me,” I muttered as loud as I could. Her expression went wild. There were a few seconds of silence. I thought it had happened, that this was the break up. It was extremely unclear what this entire discussion had done, but one thing was for sure, neither of us knew how to fix it.

“Felix mentioned he’s free tonight if you want to hang out at Haven,” Jade said quickly. “So you don’t have to be alone, and so he can… check in with you about yesterday.” 

The sudden switch in subjects made it obvious that Jade didn’t have anything else to say. That, or she didn’t want to follow my comment up with a single thought of her own. 

And that was what I was dying for most.

The anger boiling beneath my skin calmed like crazy at the mention of Felix and his invitation, but it was weird to feel excited about seeing him while standing here in front of Jade.

If I was going to be his friend though, it was normal. This was normal. Two friends going out for a drink to catch up, to hang out, to chill. That’s what people did with one another.

Jade’s mask slipped for half of a second as she watched me ponder over the invite, and I knew I could tell that she was worried.

“I had no idea you two were that close,” she said. Shrugging in response, not to purposely annoy her, I folded my arms over my torso.

“It’s probably just because of last night,” I said. “He’s- You know what he does for work… right?” 

“I do,” Jade nearly snapped. She took in my quiet being for a minute before she said, “Have fun, I guess.” She started to walk out of the garage, taking her time, letting her feet drag over the ground like she had more to say. “Don’t drink too much,” she mumbled.

Popping my brows, I said, “Don’t have to worry about that, Felix is a good boy.” Jade glanced back at me fast, pausing her stroll.

“Right,” she narrowed her eyes.

“No, I mean it,” I said. “He didn’t even drink last night. If it’s just us I don’t know if I’ll even have one.” The derogatory chuckle that slipped past her lips made me sick.

“Okay,” was all she said before leaving me alone in the garage, either heading to work early or stopping by Chans for a while to complain about me.

I didn’t have much brain power left to process what had just happened, so instead of letting it bug me I decided to push it aside and bring it up later with Felix. I knew he was going to ask about it, he could probably help me decipher whether or not this relationship could be patched up- if I ask him as a friend.

Turning the radio off I snatch a towel from the workbench to pat down my forehead to my neck, and sling it around my shoulders as I take myself into the office and sit back in one of the black leather swiveling chairs. There were two in this single roomed building, black leather chairs from my boss's old home that his wife wanted to get rid of. This entire room was full of things he wasn’t allowed to keep anywhere else. Old baseball photos were on the wall and his desk, knick knacks of all sorts from trips and kids projects littered the shelves… It was homey in the best way.

Taking a breath in the cool air, I sit quietly for a couple of minutes and let my brain go blank. No thoughts of Jade, no thoughts of Haven, no thoughts of break ups, but a tiny, miniscule thought lingered behind. A thought that made me consider calling Felix instead of Sharon-Sherry first, just to tell him that I’d meet him at the bar tonight.

Snatching the phone off the set I press it to my ear, the flat dial tone buzzing without end. Staring down at the numbers, I hesitated, then huffed a laugh. I didn’t know his number by heart. I’d have to wait until Sharon-Sherry picked up her car to call him from home. Gathering the appropriate paperwork, I gave the woman a ring and told her the Ford was ready, acquiring another sweet set of words from her motherly instincts. It’s as if she could tell I grew up without one.

The family showed up within the hour, all four of them pulling up in the husbands pick up that desperately needed new tires, but I figured I’d let them come to me when they were ready. Already complaining about other companies' prices prior to their appointment with me, they didn’t need another expense right this second.

Their sons tumbled out of the backseat in their soccer jerseys with dirty knees and disheveled hair, trailing directly behind their mother like little ducks in a row. They hurried to the car and peeked around at it, babbling questions to me, asking me how I fixed it and what I had done. 

Sharon-Sherry, who was actually Shelley, was talking over them as any mother would and took care of her bill with another soft smile. She thanked me for cleaning the windows that I had done while I waited for them to arrive, cupped my cheek one last time, and ushered her children into the vehicle.

The youngest, Felix, turned around to look at me where I stood in the doorway of the office, propped against the doorway on my shoulder. He smiled wide, missing a front tooth, waved, and said, “Thank you for helping my mom!”

Children were strange little beings. I didn’t exactly hate them, but I didn’t love them. This one, however, with chubby cheeks and a red Gatorade stain on his upper lip- this one was adorable. He got me to smile, and he even got a small wave in return.

Jumping up into the Ford, the boy reached to shut the door with two of his hands and buckled his seatbelt once he was settled. Listening to his mother as she spoke to the two of them, Shelley started the car and didn’t give me another look. Felix did, though. As his mother pulled out of the garage, he smiled at me until his little head couldn’t turn any further.

Shelley seemed like a good mom. I guess kids weren’t all that bad, it just mattered who was raising them.

Closing up shop, I left the paystub on my boss’s desk and clocked out, locking the office door on the front of the building. Leaving through the one that took me into the garage, I locked it as well and gathered my things from the shelf above one of the toolboxes, shoving my wallet deep into my back pocket.

It took me fifteen minutes total to get home after I pulled the garage shut. Taking my time once I got to my building, for no other reason than to possibly avoid Jade, I unlocked my apartment door quietly. Stepping inside into the air conditioning and closed curtains, nobody was home. I was unsure why it irked me though, Jade not being here. It’s not like after the argument we had she’d be here waiting for me, so why was I expecting her to be?

Over by the phone there was a small piece of paper with Felix’s name written on it followed by a number, in Jades handwriting. The tiny smiley face below it that she had drawn must’ve been an attempt to lessen the blow after coming to confront me at work. She was meticulous, she knew I’d come home and see it, she knew we were going to have a blown out of proportion conversation because that's how we rolled.

If she was out for the night, then so be it. I was too.

Dialing his number I waited with baited breath for the thick Aussie accent to bless my ears, and when it did swiftly, and deeply, I smiled bigger than I had all day.

“Hello?” Was all he had to say to flood my chest with warmth.

“Hi,” I began, twisting the phone cord around my finger. “I, uh, got your message.” 

“Hyunjin,” it seemed Felix sighed. “Hey, how are you?”

“Fine,” my shoulders wanted to live beside my ears today. “Just got home from work, I need a shower.” A gentle laugh rumbled through the line from his end and I wanted to claw my fingers in my hair.

“Busy day?” Felix asked. Leaning my back against the counter top, the phone cord wrapped around my torso, stretching with me as I spun around.

“Not really,” I said. “Today was easy, only one appointment.”

“Was it something crazy?” It sounded like Felix had just woken up. Either that or he was really comfortable, relaxed. His voice was twice as deep as usual.

“Not at all, typical maintenance stuff I guess,” I said. “The lady was nice. She had a kid that had your name. He was a trip.” Nibbling my bottom lip, I smiled even wider hearing another laugh come through the phone.

“He’s a bad kid?”

Shaking my head as if he could see me before I answered, I said, “No. Not at all. He was respectful.”

“That’s really sweet,” Felix said. I could tell he was smiling too.

“I met him before I fixed up their car,” I said, then my voice dropped several decibel’s. “Made me think of you.”

Felix took a deep breath, I could hear it. There's a slight rustling around on his side, like he was sitting up, or laying down, either one, before he said, “I was thinking about you too.” 

“Hope you didn’t hurt yourself in the process,” I joked, and he scoffed straight away.

“Don’t you dare start self-deprecating already,” he laughed again. 

I couldn’t help but laugh with him. “Sorry, it’s a habit I guess.” 

“Enough of it,” he said. “You sound like you’re having a much better day than yesterday, don’t sabotage it.”

Bobbing my head, I pressed my lips together. “Does it sound terrible if I say that’s because I spent most of the day alone?”

His end is quiet for longer than before, Felix pondering over what I’ve said. It did sound terrible to say that aloud, and the more time between him saying things made it worse.

“No,” he finally spoke, and I released a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. “I mean, maybe, but… You know when you feel your best, it’s okay to chase that feeling, you should chase that feeling.”

“Great, so I’ll see you at seven?” I sighed quickly, catching him right at the end of his sentence. Felix is silent once more.

“Yeah,” he nearly whispered. “I’ll see you at seven. Enjoy your shower.” We both laughed together before muttering quiet goodbyes. 

The call made me feel good. I was going to chase that feeling.

A few minutes past seven I tiptoed into Haven. There weren’t any recognizable cars in the parking lot so it seemed like I was in the clear, even though I was meeting Felix here as a friend. Anxiety holed up in my chest below my heart on the drive over here. Running into other people who are considered my friends wasn’t on the to do list for the evening, and I wasn’t prepared to deal with it.

Yanking the heavy door open, another thing I wanted to change about this place, I walked straight over to the bar without a single glance anywhere else. I beelined for a stool, I almost ran. With a deep breath I rested my elbow on the wood and placed my chin on my fist. 

The music was loud and made me cringe, and the people nose to nose that occupied every square inch of the concrete floor were speaking at a volume that had them yelling at one another. Amazing Haven.

A familiar face greets me from behind the bar, her curly blonde hair pulled back into a twisted bun tonight instead of dangling at her shoulders. With a smile she leaned forward and pointed behind me.

“Are you supposed to be over there?” Dina asked cheekily, giggling as I whipped my head to follow her direction. Felix was sitting at one of the high top tables in the back corner with his legs crossed and his thumb nail between his teeth.

His blonde hair wasn’t styled, it was unruly and free, just brushing his eyelashes and the nape of his neck. Around his neck he wore a skinny silver chain that hugged his skin snuggly, complimenting the pastel blue t-shirt he was wearing. As my eyes drew further down his body, my breath hitched within my throat. The shirt was cropped at the bottom, resting above the waist of his jeans, and with the way he was sitting with his legs crossed, one side had risen exposing the smallest sliver of sun kissed skin.

“He got here a few minutes ago,” Dina said, popping her brows when I looked at her. “Wandered in here with his eyes all big. I was wondering who he was looking for ‘cause none of your other friends are here.” She smirked. “Now it makes sense.”

Clearing my throat, I tucked my dark, clean hair behind my ear and shifted on the stool awkwardly. “You got to know us pretty fast.”

Dina shrugged. “Yeah, well, Minho works here. He talks about you guys all the time.”

Rolling my eyes I muttered, “I’m sure he does.” Glancing at Felix who hadn’t spotted me yet, his eyes were drawn to the people dancing in the middle of the room, I spun back around and leaned toward Dina. “Can I get a water… and a Sprite.”

“Water and a Sprite,” she smiled. “Go sit with your boyfriend, I’ll bring it back to you.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I said quickly and quietly, my eyes probably ogling out of my head. That would’ve been a fun one for her to tell Minho. Peeking at whoever was beside me, praying it wasn’t a muscley man, I asked, “Why would you even think that?” My stomach flopped. Dina nodded her head slow, letting her eyes draw from Felix to me.

She whispered, “I’m gay.” 

“Oh,” I sighed. Relief rushed through my veins. There was something comforting about her telling me this, having only known me for about twenty four hours.

“I could feel it between you two,” she said. “Friends don’t giggle at each other the way you two were gigglin’ at each other, dude. Plus, everytime you look at him you stink the place up with your fuckin’ pheramones like a lady in-”

“Okay!” I laughed, slapping a hand on the wood to cut her off. Dina grins, proud. Dropping my gaze to the bar, I released a breath and slouched a bit. 

“I won’t say anything,” she said, making me look up at her. The look on her face read understanding, and safety. “I heard Han and Minho last night, what they were saying. I’m actually a little disappointed ‘cause I thought Minho was cool.”

Another roll of my eyes was a satisfying response to her.

“I get it,” she said. “That’s what I mean. And I’m hoping this place doesn’t turn into a homophobe sanctuary.” She laughed at herself. “You’re safe with me. Now, go. You look happy when you talk to him.”

I followed her instruction and stood up, facing the back of the bar with my lips pressed together. Waiting for only a few seconds, I took a deep breath and started for Felix. Felix who looked really pretty. Glancing down to myself and my dark clothes I only hoped that he wouldn’t judge what I was wearing, it seemed he always knew how to dress himself, I didn’t want to look like a schlub next to him. 

His sharp jaw was clenched, pointed directed toward the dance floor, he barely noticed me walking toward him until I was a few feet away. Shooting me a look with wide eyes, he broke out into a small smile and sat forward, his arms still folded over his chest.

“Hi,” he said, watching me as I sat down in the chair across from him. The round table put about two feet of space between us.

“Hey,” I said, sitting backward, smiling at him. He didn’t respond right away, instead his gaze was fixated on mine, then it danced around my appearance, probably analyzing me, or whatever his therapist brain was trained to do. The smile was still on his face though, despite him studying my energy.

“How was your shower?” he teased, laying his hands on the table.

Shaking my head, I laughed. “Was fantastic, thanks for asking.”

“Of course,” he said. “I’m glad it was fantastic, you deserve it.”

If anyone was looking, if there was a single soul watching us, I’m positive our cheesy grins were insufferable. Neither of us had stopped.

“Did you work today?” I asked. His brown eyes softened as he shook his head.

“Not today,” he said. “I get off on Thursdays, but I’ll be there all day tomorrow.”

“Thursday’s your only day off?” I asked, my smile dropping finally, pulling into a frown.

Felix shook his head. “During the week it is, I still have weekends.” 

Dina approached our table with two glasses in one hand and two shots in the other, making Felix question me with his brows. “Here we go boys,” she said happily. Then, with a wink to us both she said, “Enjoy. This rounds on me, but, shift change.” She gestured toward the bar. “I’ll see you guys again.”

Felix had the view of her walking away, and once she was out of ear shot he flashed me a grin. “What is this?”

Picking up the shot she had placed in front of me, I smelled it and huffed a laugh. “I only ordered the drinks, I didn’t know she was gonna do this.” Tipping the shot glass toward him I shrugged. “You don’t have to drink it.”

“Is this what I think it is?” he asked, taking a sip of the soda out of the straw. To his delight, he smacked his lips once and laughed aloud, swatting one of my hands. “You’re so funny.” Nibbling my bottom lip I glanced at my lap and blushed, smiling entirely too big.

“I had to,” I said. “You love it.” Our eyes met as he took another sip and nodded.

Placing the glass on the table, Felix said, “I’m flattered you remember.”

“It was only last night,” I shrugged, furrowing my brows the slightest.

“Yeah, but, you were drinking,” he said, his tone calm enough that it didn’t disrupt my nervous system. “Things get a little blurry.”

“Something like that,” I agreed, bobbing my head. Felix gave me a soft smile, then took both shot glasses in his hands and insisted I take it. “What?” I questioned, raising a brow.

“Let’s do it,” he said. Cupping the little glass, I dropped my chin just enough to eye him curiously. “I’m serious!”

“You don’t have to.” My tentative tone made him pout. Now my nervous system has jolted. Those big eyes and squished lips were dangerous. I’ve never had so many butterflies in my stomach at once. “You work tomorrow, and it’s just us here, we don’t need to drink, I mean.”

A foot of his stretches underneath the table to tap one of my ankles. “You really are funny,” he said. “I can handle a shot, Hyunjin.” I retaliate and tap his ankle next, but with both of my feet to trap it.

“I just wanted to make sure,” I said, letting my voice lilt playfully. Sitting forward to rest my chest against the table, I squeeze his ankle between my feet and tug it toward me. His entire chair moved beneath him, the legs scooting closer to the table, closer to me.

“Oh my god!” he laughed, gripping the edge of the wood. Letting his leg go free, placing mine on the rungs of the chair below, I held the shot up toward him and smirked. Felix copied me, a shit eating smirk appearing on his lips as he held the shot out.

Under the table his foot found mine again, but this time it danced up my shin as he re-crossed his own legs, letting his foot rest against the inside of my knee. Perking a brow, he tapped the rim of his glass to mine and knocked it back without a cringe to my amazement. Someone doing a shot shouldn’t be as hot as that was.

He put the glass down and licked his lips, dragging his thumb over the bottom one all while keeping his eyes locked on mine. My parted lips gave me away, and he laughed.

“C’mon,” he mumbled, taking the glass from me. Watching him move, he pressed the glass to my lips and tipped it backward, my body following the unspoken directions, tilting my chin back so the vodka could go right down my throat. He didn’t have to say a word, my body reacted to him in an instant.

I swallowed and looked at him. We were both shocked by what had just happened, his hands were frozen in front of me holding an empty shot glass.

Last night Felix told me he didn’t do cheaters. Last night Felix stopped me from making a mistake by kissing him. I hadn’t told him a lick of what has happened with Jade since then, and here he was dangling his foot between my knees and caressing my chin with his fingers feeding me a shot of alcohol.

It must’ve been a collective realization because he quickly pulled his leg back, shifting sideways in his chair to lean against the back of it, putting more space between us. His ring filled fingers were folded and placed in his lap where I couldn’t reach them.

“Sorry,” he said with a single nod. I still hadn’t moved, I was leaning over the wood.

“S’okay,” I laughed. “You got me back for yesterday.”

Felix closed his eyes for a moment to laugh with me. “So, what? We’re even now?” he asked, flashing me a look.

Pursing my lips, I nodded. “Yeah, we’re even.”

“So, we can start over?” he asked. Cocking my head sideways, I narrowed my eyes. “Last night, and… now. We can start over. It never happened.”

“Oh,” I sighed. What an interesting concept, starting over. If it was possible for Felix, I’m sure it’d be possible for me as well. “Yeah, we can start over.” The smile that took over his plush lips made me melt.

“So, Hyunjin,” Felix started, resting his arms on the table, leaning toward me once again. “What do you do for work?” The playful, sarcastic interest in his eyes made me laugh. This was going to be too much fun.

An hour or so passed and the two of us had talked about absolutely everything. Felix heard about work, and I heard about his, and after the jokes had dissipated things got a little more serious and I brought up Jade and what had happened earlier today in the garage. Not a detail was spared, he heard it all. For some reason, around Felix, no matter what we were discussing, I was unable to hide anything.

He told me about their phone call, and he apologized for telling Jade about my panic attack, but he assumed that she and I would’ve talked when we had gotten home. I told him what happened instead, leaving out the part where he was on my mind.

Okay, maybe I was able to hide something from him. This was still brand new, and I wanted him to be a friend, and we technically just started over, so I didn’t want to ruin anything.

Another hour after that we were discussing our families, and I found out that he was a middle child sandwiched between sisters who lived in Australia together. His entire family moved out here a couple of years ago because of his father and work, but once his eldest sister was of age she moved back home with the youngest of the three. By that time Felix had been close to graduating and was already working where he’s currently employed, so he decided to stay.

Discussing my family wasn’t on my list of favorite things to do, so when the conversation shifted over to myself I attempted to ask him more about his. Felix, directly beside me, having switched seats at some point within the night, shook his head and insisted that I tell him about my life, that he wanted to hear about it.

A part of me didn’t want to because of the therapist within him, but then again the other part of me had never been asked about myself on this level of depth. Nor had anyone ever wanted to listen, or wanted to know.

It came out slow, and he hung onto every word, keeping quiet, letting me tell my story the way that I wanted to. He didn’t interrupt, even to ask why. The slight raise in brows in the center of his forehead was enough to keep me going, to keep me talking. Even when I brought up what high school was like with my drunk of a father, how he’d stopped caring long before I even went in, and I had to hold the four years together on my own, and that was when I had started drinking myself… Felix took my arm in his hand and caressed the muscle with his thumb, his gaze holding an ocean of empathy for me.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, inches away from me.

With a shrug I said, “It’s okay. That’s over now.”

“When was the last time you spoke to him?” Felix asked, squeezing my arm for support.

“The truth?” I questioned, and he nodded. “When I graduated from school. High school.” The way his face screwed up in pain as if he was the one to go through what I had hurt my heart. This empathetic creature had a big storm coming if he wanted to keep me close. “I moved in with Changbin as soon as possible, then we went to college together.”

“How’d you get through school?” he asked. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

I shifted closer to him, letting my shoulder rest against his. “No, it’s fine,” I said. “I, uh, reached out to my family when I wanted to go, while I was still in my senior year, and my grandfather- My moms dad. He helped me some of the way. I think in some ways I thank my mom, like she was looking out for me, or something, I dunno it probably sounds cheesy. I ended up getting a scholarship ‘cause I’m pretty good at school believe it or not. Think I get that from her, ‘cause I sure don’t get it from my dad.”

Felix was focused on my lips while I spoke, and his body weight was falling into mine like he couldn’t get close enough.

“That’s beautiful,” he said quietly, and I looked over at him. Our noses were inches apart. “She gave you a part of her to keep.” I smiled.

“I got her face, too,” I joked, wiggling my brows. “I look just like her.”

Felix smiled, eyes studying my features. “She must’ve been positively stunning.” 

“She was,” I whispered. “She was kind, too. And she loved to sing.” Felix took one of my hands in his, for comfort, unsure of how this was going to make me feel. Talking about my mother was hard, but around Felix it came easy.

“Do you like to sing?” he asked, the corners of his lips perking up. My eyes went wide as I shook my head.

“I’m not very good,” I half-groaned, making him laugh his beautiful laugh.

“When do you ever get the chance to?” he drew on. “I’m sure you’re good, don’t doubt yourself.” His fingers messed around with mine.

“If I'm in the garage alone, maybe I will,” I said. “Or, if I’m driving alone, maybe.”

“So no one’s ever heard you sing?” Felix squinted mischievously.

I smiled. “I try not to make unnecessary noise.” He laughs again, his head falling to my shoulder as the sound blesses my ears. “I’m serious!” I exclaimed. “Did I not just tell you about my dad? You think he wanted me to be singing around our house?!” The more things I said, the harder he laughed, but I knew he wasn’t laughing at me. “The guy passed out at two in the afternoon, I’m sure he would’ve loved being awoken by me belting Celine Dion when I got home from grade school.”

“Oh god, you’re gonna kill me!” Felix wrapped his arm that wasn’t occupied by my hand around his stomach, taking deep breaths to calm himself. Still face down on my shoulder, the laughter started up again as soon as it stopped.

“Now what?” I giggled with him.

“I’m sorry,” he sucked in a breath, “I can just imagine you as a kid scream singing in the shower or something, I just-” Lifting his head, there were tears rimming his eyes, and the sight was enough to make me lose it. Slapping the table a few times, Felix tips his head backward and screeches, “ANNND I-”

Several heads turn, unappreciative of the spontaneous display of Whitney Houston from the Aussie. With a cackle, I reach my other arm across him and pull him into my chest to shut him up. “I could’ve been Celine Dion herself, these people don’t know talent,” Felix said quickly between laughs and gulps of air.

My eyes shot open wide. “Who?!” Felix twists his brows and tilts his head. “Celine Dion? What? Who sings that song?”

“Whitney Houston!?” I cried, rocking us back and forth as we laughed even harder.

“I don’t know my women,” he said, sitting up in my arms to wipe the tears out of his eyes. My arms fell around his back, above his waist. The cropped shirt he was wearing had moved amongst the laughter, so my hands were barely touching the bare skin of his hips. 

“I don’t expect you to,” I said softly, teasingly. Felix dropped his hands into my lap and sighed with a goofy grin, his head lulling to the right.

As chaos ensued within Haven around us, the air between us fell still, and quiet. It wasn’t awkward, if anything it felt right, like this was where we were supposed to be- making fools out of ourselves when neither of us were drunk, not giving a shit about what people thought of us. It was the most free I’ve felt in ages, it was liberating, and it was because of Felix. He wanted to get to know me, for me. He wanted to listen to me, to listen to me. He was genuine, and he cared.

And the way his eyes shifted in this moment gave me a scare. A small one. I knew mine had changed as well, so it should’ve been no surprise. The strength in our gazes was incredibly magnetic, that once the world got dizzy, our foreheads touched, and I was looking down at him, feeling my heart flutter at the way he gazed up through his long lashes.

A hand slid up behind my neck, Felix’s fingers tangling in the hair on the nape of my neck, his nails on my scalp sending a shiver down my spine. Lips parted, he smiled, and his big eyes closed, as did mine. 

I could’ve flatlined right then and there.

He kissed me. He, Felix, kissed me.

It wasn’t a chaste, delicate kiss either. Felix kissed me in a way that rendered me thoughtless, like he’d been waiting years for this. His fingers tightened in my hair, keeping me close. Resting my hands on his back, I slid them up his shirt and pressed my fingers into his muscle, sighing within the kiss. He was tiny, but he was strong, I could literally feel it.

Between shared air and more kisses, his fingers twirled my hair around, messing with it to his heart's content. His rings nudged my scalp, the coolness of the metal adding to the comforting sensation.

And it was over before I knew it. Felix’s hand slipped down to my shoulder as he pulled away, sitting backward to look at me. I couldn’t read his expression, it was a mix of lust and uncertainty. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Taking my hands from around his back to his knees, I lowered my brows and shook my head.

“It’s okay,” I said. “I loved that.”

Felix pressed his lips together sheepishly. “Me too. I thought about that all night last night.”

Releasing a breath, I half laughed. “I thought about you all night last night.” Felix narrowed his eyes, remembering what I told him I did last night. “And I mean, all night.”

He took a deep breath. “What do you say, we have a drink, just one, then we can go? I work early, and this place is starting to give me a headache, anyway.” I accepted this as his acknowledgement, and smiled.

“I’d love one,” I said.

“Perfect,” he sighed, jumping out of the chair. “I’ll go, you stay here. Don’t run away on me.” He signaled to me and his eyes with two of his fingers and waltzed towards the bar without saying anything else.

Turning to face the table completely, straightening my posture out, I sat backward and scanned my surroundings, not realizing the place had filled up entirely while Felix and I had sat here for hours. Thursdays were popular, I guess, but then again, like always, this place was always full. Crossing my arms, I watched the people dance to the music and it didn’t make me want to vomit. For some reason, tonight it was tolerable.

Felix came back faster than he was gone, empty handed.

Sitting up, I smiled and started to ask, “Hey, do you maybe wanna-”

“Nope,” he said, his tone hushed and rushed. “I think we should go.”

My mouth was still open, mid-question asking, so I opted for a nod. 

“Uh, sure, yeah we can-”

“Minho’s at the bar,” Felix said. Shift change, Dina had told us. I didn’t even put two and two together.

Rage filled my entire being. Tightening my fists, I clenched my jaw just the same.

“What’d he say to you,” I growled.

Felix shook his head. “Nothing, I didn’t even make it up there. I saw him, and he saw me, and the look on his face, I just… He clearly saw me before I saw him, so I don’t know what else he saw.” There was a quiver in Felix’s voice that I had never heard before, it sounded like worry. And I was well aware of what came after worry. And I’ll be damned if it’s Minho who makes Felix feel that way.

“I swear to god,” I grumbled, leaping from my chair with persistence. Seconds away from storming over to the bar, Felix caught me by the arm and held me back. Turning, I looked down at him and his pleading eyes.

“Don’t,” he said firmly. “Let’s just go.”

“But, he-”

“No,” Felix said, giving my arm a squeeze. “We’re leaving. Please.”

His ‘please’ must’ve hit me just right. 

We were out of that bar without a measly second glance at Minho.

I knew some damage had been done. There was no way I was getting out of this one. This time I had a witness.

haven masterlist ✧ talk to me ✧ thank you for reading <3

you do not have permission to copy or translate my works without my consent.

[cargopocketcottagecore]

Right. Had a new experience along these lines today. Short version, it went well eventually and I got thanked. Still fucking sucked.

There's someone very close to me who is cis and straight. I'm their first and major touchstone on anything queer, especially anything trans^.

I was asked about "it/its" pronouns. I explained as best as I could as someone who has acquaintances with a variety of pronouns but only goes by "she/her". Used some examples. Yes, it's another thing to remember about a person. So is their favorite movie. File the info in the same place.

Things got a little heated. I shouldn't have started laughing, but this person had moved on to being legitimately *upset* at the idea of trans folks with non-standard names, like "November" (hello.) or similar. I've known folks named after deities, after seasons, after damn near anything in nature. And that was just in the cis/het community.

I pointed out the proliferation of (hyperbolically) "Keighleigh" because people wanted to be unique. Just with trans folks they were the ones choosing, not their parents. And did this person actually know anyone who used pronouns besides they, she, and he? Well,... this one person for a few weeks. Alright, so they tried something out. Ever try a style and realize it didn't fit? Me too. Anyone else? No? Alright, so you're upset about something that doesn't actually affect you.

I finished by pointing out that remembering someone's pronouns (whatever they are) is part of their identity, something to remember about them. This person fucking *hates* onions, and I said hey, you know how you feel when someone includes onions in a dish in spite of knowing you hate them? Or when someone mistakes your name for the gender that you aren't and gives you the wrong honorific (a thing that happens damn near weekly)? You know how much it feels like you don't matter to them when they do that?

That's how these folks feel. And it's at a societal level. I've seen you tear into someone for purposefully calling me "he". Those folks deserve the same, even if it's not what you're used to. No, not that it isn't normal please. That it's new. That you aren't used to it. Like when we say STI instead of STD, or call an STI test negative instead of clean. You've been worried in the past about those tests coming back negative, you didn't want to deal with the implication of being "dirty" or the like.

I saw them slowly wilt. I'm not saying this to brag about dunking on them. As I said above, they're very close to me, very important to me. What I mean is I saw the bullshit-fueled fire evacuate all at once. They got it. They saw the unnecessary outrage.

Then they apologized asked for a hug, and thanked me several times for the patience and for taking the time to explain it to me.

I feel like I need a fucking nap, but I might also have done a bit of good. And hopefully this person is able to better explain to others why trans people aren't fucking weird.

^- Do they have other trans/queer friends? Yeah, but this person doesn't really discuss those things much. Speculation on why is a fucking case study into conservativism, desperate poverty, generational trauma, possible denied introspection, and reactionary political parents I have neither time nor patience for.

"The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I'm not a trannie or a fag so I don't care, just give 'em the medicine they need."

"This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility."

One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.

[quietwings-fics]

Don't Wait Up

Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Fandom: Doctor Who Ship: Gen (+MickeyRose) Additional Tags: POV Mickey Smith, Backstory, Canonical Character Death, Light Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study Wordcount: 1,371 Summary:

Mickey Smith has known how to wait his entire life.

Mickey Smith has known how to wait his entire life.

He waited for his dad. Maybe his whole life, he's waited for him, like there was ever a chance of him walking back in through the door again after he finally walked out. Spain wasn't that far away, and there were phone calls, ones he never got to listen in on, where his gran went on with such a fervor yelling and stomping about that he was afraid she'd tear the cord right off the wall. He'd thought he was quiet enough to get away with eavesdropping, since she never berated him for it like she did the muddy heels of his shoes on her coffee table or dirty dishes he was supposed to do the night before. The moments after those phone calls scared him more than any yelling could have, the shaky breaths, the curses under her breath that he'd have gotten soap in his mouth for repeating.

People loved his gran. They never saw her cry. She never let anyone see that.

It wasn't until he was older, moving around her space with the same tip-toes and held breath he did at eight and always, always, getting caught despite that, that he realized she'd known he was listening in. That she'd let him.

That's the last bit of his father he ever got, the barely audible crackle on the other end of a phone. A year on, and not even that anymore.

It feels cruel to say he never waited for his mom. That her death was simply a fact his life revolved around ever after. He mourned her, he missed her, but not for one second did he ever have to wonder if she might come back. There was horrible comfort in the certainty. No one ever really understood that until Rose.

And Rose was-

Rose was everything. Is everything.

Mickey Smith, the idiot who fell in love at sixteen and thought he'd had it all figured out.

He put all his lessons in waiting to good use for her, long before the Doctor dropped out of the sky and snatched her away. First came the allure of Jimmy Stone and all the trouble he brought. Rose dumped Mickey ("But we, I mean, we were never that serious, were we?" while he kept his mouth shut tight.) and ran off, and Mickey took up the spot in the band he left behind. Thank god they never got anyone to tape them, or there'd be evidence out there of him, broken-hearted and wailing on his guitar, jumping to dedicate songs to a special girl he knew would come back one day.

He remembers vividly, one of the last conversations he had with his gran, right after Rose broke it off. He felt like a kid again, all tears and snot, like when he'd hide bad scores or the time he broke his bike. Gran would always stand over him, shake her head, and then pull him to his feet. (He should have noticed how much harder it was getting for her, but no matter how her hands had started to shake or her balance to go, he'd thought her invincible. That she was right when she bragged, "The world's tried to off me too many times. It hasn't won yet.")

"You stupid boy," she'd said. "On your feet, now." Her hands on his shoulders, squeezing tight. "The world doesn't end just because your heart's broken, no matter how much it might feel like it is."

"It's because I'm not good enough," he'd said, and almost regretted it when he watched her face break open the same way it had those nights she hung up on his father. "That's why she left."

"I never said that. No one ever said that." She shook her head again. "I don't know what game Rose is playing at with that boy, but I know this: you're measuring yourself up against a standard you can't meet, because no one could." He'd nodded, and sniffed, and when she hugged him, he broke away promising to do some chores for her to make up for getting her favorite blouse messy.

He wasn't the one to find her body. Her friend did, while he was out with his friends.

That death didn't feel real. That death left him waiting. It took until the funeral for it to sink in that she couldn't come back.

He lost count of how many people came to the funeral. They loved her. In some ways, they loved him.

(Jackie Tyler came to the funeral. It wasn't her sort of crowd, not at all, and she hadn't known Mickey's gran that well besides. Friend of a friend, enough to invite to a wedding, but not enough to visit too often. She came anyway. She told him he'd done alright setting it up, better than alright. Neither of them talked about Rose. There was a hole that she left behind, one they'd both become so familiar with in the years to come, but next to the one his gran had left, for one night, he'd barely noticed it.)

Rose did come back, for whatever that was worth. Five months later and hundreds in debt, her mom throwing fits between hugging her like she'd returned from the dead, and with Mickey on her doorstep, a late Christmas present clutched in his hands. Like the universe had finally decided to start giving instead of taking.

He loved her. Loves her.

And she... He thinks she loves him. Or loved him. That's the worst part.

Because she will always be the first girl he ever loved, his first kiss and first broken heart, and he is always going to be sitting patiently on her doorstep, waiting for her to come back and let him in, never saying a word.

It turned out there was someone who could measure up to that impossible standard. A man in a blue box, with all of time and space at his fingertips.

And who was Mickey to that?

A murder suspect, or kidnapping, depending on how kind the rumors were.

Five months. A whole year. And still, he was waiting.

An alien invasion, or two, or three, or four, and he was still waiting.

Rose was right about him lying about seeing another girl. He did try. But she was out there, and she might come back, any day, any minute, and what if. What if.

He should have gone with her.

And when he finally corrects that mistake, he's not sure what drives it. Too many times left behind? Or is it seeing Sarah Jane Smith, another woman who looks at the Doctor with stars in her eyes, like he is all there is in the world? (Is it seeing her left behind, again? Is it the way he asks and asks, what happened to Jack, wasn't he traveling with you, didn't he look at you the same way she did, Doctor, the same way Rose does, only he was always a little scared of you, too, and God, but I wish sometimes that Rose had even half that glimmer of fear around you.)

If the TARDIS needs a Smith aboard, than he fails to provide, miserably. Third wheel doesn't even begin to cover it. How is he left waiting for a girl who's right in front of him?

And so, finally, in a universe so far from their own, there comes a crossroads, and the thing is, Mickey isn't even the one standing at it. He's fine with that. He's done.

"Go on, then," he says. "There's no choice, is there? You can only chase after one of us. It's never going to be me, is it?"

He knows, because the Doctor will go after her, forever and ever, the same way Mickey would have waited. If that means he wins, so be it. If that means Rose never comes back...

If he waits, and the Doctor fixes everything, and they all go home, then he's never going to get this chance again. And for once, he's going to be the one running.

He knocks on his gran's door, and hopes, and hopes, and hopes.

It opens.

(Enjoyed it? Any interaction is welcomed. You can even support me on Ko-Fi <3)

[cksmart-world]

SMART BOMB

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart

May 7, 2024

TOP 10 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A COP AT A RIOT

10 – Love your outfit, it really brings out your eyes.

9 – Does your mother know you're out late?

8 – Come on man, this is our class project for Poly Sci.

7 – I love it when you talk dirty.

6 – Dude, can you spare a donut.

5 – We're the Rec Department. Check out our new tents.

4 – You know, they have a cure for bad breath.

3 – What's you're favorite position.

2 – Weren't you the guy who kissed Majorie Taylor Greene on the lips.

1 – And the worst thing to say to a cop at a riot: Is that a big stick or are you just glad to see me.

GOV. DeSANTIS BANS LAB MEAT, INTESTINAL FORTITUDE

“We will save our beef,” declared Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis regarding meat grown in laboratories. But saving face, well that's another story. In Florida they like to ban stuff — books, abortions, back bone. The petri dish beef ban comes on the heels of DeSantis' come-to-Jesus meeting with former President Donald Trump, where the governor demonstrated he still has a taste for buttocks — real buttocks, real big buttocks. DeSantis even told supporters he is willing to help fundraise for Trump, when he isn't busy kissing The Donald's hammies. “It’s true that Trump doesn’t forgive easily — but he does love when people show remorse for what he views as disloyalty,” said columnist Hayes Brown. “Especially when that groveling comes with dollar signs attached to it.” DeSantis joins a long list of Republicans who have surrendered to the “Man Who Would Be King:” Sens. Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, Lindsey Graham, Tim Scott... the list goes on and on. Trump makes Republicans do what he wants by threatening and bullying, and those who cross him pay with humiliation — they must praise him as the Second Coming. The only defense is honesty and integrity — oops, looks like the Republicans banned that, too. Bummer.

BIDEN SHOULD SHOOT HIS DOG

If you've been hiding out at the animal shelter you may not know that Kristi Noem, the South Dakota governor who was on the short list to be Donald Trump's V.P., bragged in her new memoir, ”No Going Back,” that she shot her 14-month-old dog, Cricket, because he wasn't any good at pheasant hunting. He also killed some chickens. “I hated that dog,” she wrote. No Wilson, we are not making this up. She caught a bunch of grief from the liberal lame-stream media with such headlines as: “Noem shoots dog, commits political suicide.” Kinda catchy. So the ranch-girl governor doubled down on CBS's “Face the Nation,” saying President Joe Biden's dog should be shot, too, for biting Secret Service agents. He then could meet her puppy in Dog Heaven: “Commander, say hello to Cricket for me.” Haha. What a sense of humor. Some pundits suggest she included the ugly scene in her book to impress Trump with her toughness. Noem also noted putting down three horses, promising “more real, honest and politically incorrect stories that’ll have the media gasping.” Yes, Wilson, she got that part right. But the puppy-killer gambit may have backfired. Even MAGA celebs Don Jr. and Steve Bannon thought it was a little too base. Praise the lord and pass the ammunition

Post script — That's a wrap for another lovely week here at Smart Bomb where we keep track of who's using public restrooms so you don't have to. Under a new Utah law people can rat out anyone using a restroom that does not reflect their sex at birth (read trans people). They can report violations on the so-called “hotline complaint form.” Offenders could be charged with criminal trespass and fined $10,000 per violation. Continuing with the Big Brother theme: In a Time magazine interview, Donald Trump said he would not prevent states from passing and enforcing laws allowing monitoring of people's pregnancies to make sure no one gets an illegal abortion. The legislation would require pregnant women to submit to regular government exams. And you thought car inspections were intrusive. That brings us to “Abortion Tourism,” the cute expression coined by anti-abortion activists for women having to travel long distances to receive medical care — as if reproductive healthcare is some kind of a luxury vacation. Try and come up with a pithy punchline for that. Ugh.

Young people are protesting on college campuses across the nation. But the authorities don't like it. They say the First Amendment is sacred unless you've got tents. Cops in riot gear break up peaceful protests and say no fee speech when there's violence. So wake up the band, Wilson, and take us out with an anthem for the times:

Oh, where have you been, my blue-eyed son? And where have you been, my darling young one? I've stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains I've walked and I've crawled on six crooked highways I've stepped in the middle of seven sad forests I've been out in front of a dozen dead oceans I've been ten thousand miles in the mouth of a graveyard And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall

Oh, what did you meet, my blue-eyed son? Who did you meet, my darling young one? I met a young child beside a dead pony I met a white man who walked a black dog I met a young woman whose body was burning I met a young girl, she gave me a rainbow I met one man who was wounded in love I met another man who was wounded in hatred And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall

And what'll you do now, my blue-eyed son? And what'll you do now, my darling young one? I'm a-goin' back out 'fore the rain starts a-fallin' I'll walk to the depths of the deepest dark forest Where the people are many and their hands are all empty Where the pellets of poison are flooding their waters Where the home in the valley meets the damp dirty prison And the executioner's face is always well hidden And I'll tell and speak it and think it and breathe it And reflect from the mountain so all souls can see it And I'll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin' But I'll know my song well before I start singin' And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall

(It's A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall — Bob Dylan)

[johnstagecomedycom]

Not Bragging

This is not a brag, but I can have sex for hours. Only men that finish in three pumps think that's a brag. I'm not here to judge these poor MF'rs that don't know how to pleasure a lady. I'm just saying I take too long to finish. Women know it’s not a brag. Sex should take 10-15 tops; maybe 20 if you’re in love! I’ve been married a long time. I should take 7 minutes. There have been too many times my wife has whispered in my ear, "Are you close?"

I take too long! She's done and I'm still working. She's working to act like she's not done.

It's not my fault. I'm a marathoner and she's a sprinter. I'm ready for a four course meal and she needs a snack.

I'm older too, so I only have a finite amount of energy. I used to be able to replenish energy with food and rest. Now, I just got what I got. If I'm fucking today, then the yardwork is going to have to get done tomorrow. My wife would much rather see me in the garden with a rake in my had then the bedroom with my dick in my hand.

What I do is, hints towards an opportunity for sex, she'll go upstairs and get ready for bed and I'll get started. Ill get it 3/4 of the way there and she just has to cross the finish line. I'll watch tranny porn until I hear her finish brushing her teeth, then I'll head up. I get it started and all she's got to do is finish. It's either that or convince my high school gym teacher to come over and stick his thumb up my ass if I want to cum. What? I’m not one of these guys whose Dick smells pussy and they’re done. I got to work for mine.

I have this other idea, but she's not into it. I suggested this and she shot it right down, but I think it's genius. I say the next time we have sex she invites a couple of her divorced friends over. That way when my wife is done, she can go and wash some dishes and I can fuck her friends. Sounds great!

Don't get all weird because I said she could wash dishes. I did them the night before. Don't act like I don't get it. You don't stay married for as long as I have by accident. I know how things work.

When we were first married, she stayed at home with the kids and did all of the laundry. When she went to work, we split it. Now she's in Grad. school, I'm doing all of it. It's a team, but don't think it fair.

Do you think if a bee flies into the house I can say, "I got the last bee out, so this one is yours"? Hell, no. All insects are my problem.

A skunk burrows its way under the deck. Do you think I can say, "I got the possum last year. It's your turn"? Nope! All rodents are my issue.

I don't even like Christmas lights. She does. I'm afraid of heights. She's not. Still, I'm the one hanging off the gutters every year in the wind and the rain. We have to be a "Who"!

I'm the puke guy at our house. I remember how it happened. When our first son puked for the first time, she came out of the room, gagging, saying she tried. I went in there and cleaned it all up, and from that point on, I was the puke guy. You would think she would be the poop-person, but no; we split that one.

Therefore, I don't want to hear your horseshit about making her do the dishes while I fuck her friends. I'm the good guy in all my stories.

[soul-artist]

My ex besties fam cut ties with my parents and I’m jealous that I can’t do the same. My ex best friends family got close with my family. Eventually, they meshed with our family friends too. Her parents were generous, kind, snarky and very very giving. If there’s one thing you can ever accuse them off, it’ll be vanity. On the other hand, my parents couldn’t be described. They are nightmare in a single package? My dad would brag about giving us “everything we’ve ever touched” so loud as if we didn’t stop “touching and picking” things for the taunts of “I have bought you this”, “that’s so expensive”, “I bought you this, so you better do this for me” that’d eventually come. Emotionally that’s are a solid (minus)-1000000. Couldn’t ever rely on them for anything, we’ve never been shown compassion in this household. They’d VIEW themselves so morally superior to everybody while doing below bare minimum everyday is fucking hilarious. The bestie’s mom would try to connect with her, lash out from lack of understanding like other brown parents, but her redeeming quality was she’d put an effort to understand her daughter AND bring her the help she(daughter) needed. Doing all that, she’d also spoil her daughter with things that her daughter would take interest in, from books to clothes and jewelries, baby her daughter, stand up for her in social settings and cut people off who’d disrespect them (my own sperm donor being one of them). My mom would 24/7 engage in backbiting and gossiping with other people and cry about what other people said about HER to us, like, woman as if you haven’t been doing the same thing about others regarding things that doesn’t even concern you. My sperm donor considers himself as very religiously wise, but partakes in worse habits than my mom. He has arrogance for days with zero actions to match with it- the ultimate hypocrite. Now both of these very damaged, very unwilling-to-heal individuals would have toxic fights all the time since before was born probably that my core childhood memory is just traumas. I still can’t imagine what complete “safe and serene” feels like and its been two decades since I have been here in the world. I would have anxiety from the disrespect and the level of lows one could go to that they have blatantly shown me over the years, I cannot form a single meaningful, friendship with anyone else without fearing that that hates me secretly. I can’t trust anyone’s love, can’t trust anyone’s genuinely good person at heart because I didn’t see it much without any hidden evil intention behind it before my own eyes. One of my friends dad has made her emotionally so strong, after his passing she’s managed to pick herself up AND support her brother who’s a decade older than her while also doing uni full time. One of my other friends mom would pray for her before every single one of her tests, be it be a major one or a minor, before she lefts the house. Many others have a Friday tradition of cooking special dishes. I know that have their downs too, but that have this specific, consistent act of a single good thing that they know they’ll get from their parents. They have that surety of good, that me and my siblings don’t have. Because despite how many times my parents says they are holo in his the world by owing the bills and managing the house, the other parents are doing those too. It’s the fact that what are you doing for our “happiness” rather than keeping us alive.

Hav I mentioned my sperm donor is allergic to happiness? Anytime we’d laugh a bit loud or be excited about something he’d put us down for it, mock it and generally invalidate us by stressing how unimportant, mundane and unnecessary the thing was. He never celebrated our wins( because it was never “good enough”), but made sure to always lament us for our losses. A real sunshine to be around tbh. He’s the foundation that you want to leave as soon as you can, than the one you’d build your home around.

[warderfromtheborder]

I've seen sentiment that boils down to: "I dont like that they eliminated a lot of nebulous and potentially exciting space within the bigger narrative to get to the ending of the Witness the way they are" or even more simply "I don't care for the Witness as an antagonist" and that's a perfectly understandable live-and-let-live complaint. The story is tunnel-visioned on this confrontation now, and it's definitely eating a lot of the narrative oxygen. I hope people who feel this way come back after TFS for whatever the 'episodes' have to offer narratively, because from the TFS reveal, it sounds like they want to swing back toward a focus on weird shit that also happens in this setting aside from the Darkness-related problems.

I've seen sentiment that echoes what you said about people who think the version of the characters living in their heads are the real versions and that the writers are just getting it wrong, and Ive seen this sentiment expressed in really ugly and hurtful ways toward the writers, ways that made me really sad and angry. I think it's really fucking gross to claim that what a fan does with the creators own work is definitely better than what the creator is doing but they'll still stick around just in case any good bits happen to come about. It can't be The Divine Comedy all the time, because it's a goddamn serialized radio drama with extended errata and footnotes and the audience is constantly coming and going and the cast is in the hundreds at this point and the people who MAKE it, the ones who actually WRITE THIS...FOR US, they have a production schedule so tight it makes me clench up harder than starbucks anti-union lawyer just thinking about it.

Telling the chef her food sucks while continuing to eat it and then bragging about the wonderful dishes you'll make inspired by her food, that's not a fan. That's a snob.

The Destiny community is rife with snobs, for every facet of its gameplay. (Except for art direction I think but that could just be exposure bias on my part idk anyway) And also, all the best story franchises are rife with snobs, people who insist they know better than the creators. Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, comics and comics movies. Destiny has made it!

Sometimes the stuff we like is bad, or not as good as we'd hoped it would be. Sometimes the group opinion is just wrong, and they take it out on the creators in ugly ways (jar jar binks is a good example of that).

Dear Anon, keep playing and engaging with the story when you feel like it, and don't let the snobs fool you into hating it when there's not actually anything wrong with it.

Hi Bel,

I keep seeing comments about people complaining about the quality of destiny’s writing and story in the last few weeks. I haven’t really engaged with destiny since season of defiance, what’s currently gotten everyone so riled up? I thought that people were enjoying Season of the Deep/Witch in terms of narrative, why is Season of the Wish causing people to deride the destiny writing staff again?

I don't know!

Deep and Witch have been absolute bangers in every aspect to me. I've been enjoying all interactions and lore tabs we've received. A lot of them are stuff that we've never had before, a lot of reunions and closures, a lot of development and interactions between characters who you wouldn't really think would have much in common.

Sloane's return and healing from what she's been through has been fantastic, Drifter opening up with her to help her because he also got help from others was fantastic, Sloane reuniting with Aisha and Shayura brought me to tears (Shayura's descent into madness was triggered by immense trauma of Sloane staying on Titan and Titan disappearing), everything with Sloane and Zavala...

Witch was just incredible in every single way; the focus on Eris, the amount of Eris and Ikora content!!!!! Everything about Xivu and Savathun and their interactions together!! Eris finally fulfilling her goal she promised Savathun YEARS ago, getting that closure.

Wish so far has been equally great to me. All the new stuff about Ahamkara is amazing, finally giving us proof for long-standing speculation about Ahamkara and how they aren't universally evil creatures and expanding on them as a species. I love all interactions we've had so far; finally we have Petra back, Mara's singleminded focus on figuring out how to defeat the Witness and her continuous work to improve as a person, ALL SJUR MENTIONS!!!!! I won't talk about the "leak" because we have no context for it so I will wait for the full story to be revealed before I can pass judgment; something that I think should be a lesson to learn from this entire year. Maybe wait for the story to finish before judging the story.

Literally everything this past year that involves Osiris, but especially this season now that he's back in his element with the Vex. And of course every little detail we get of him and Saint. Osiris honestly shaped this year for me with everything that he's done to uncover the biggest mysteries. I think a big reason is that a lot of people just don't like Osiris, which I consider a massive skill issue.

Other than that, I don't know what are the issues people have besides just not being interested in any of these storylines and attributing it to a nebulous "bad writing" claim. I also genuinely believe that way too many people get wrapped up too much in fandom, imagine storylines they want to see and then get disappointed when the actual story doesn't go there. Almost like people forget that this isn't their story and these aren't their characters. A lot of it is also fandom completely warping characters into not what they actually are and then feeling like the canon story is the one that's wrong.

Whatever is the reason, I guess everyone is entitled to their perspective of the story and everyone is free to explore the story in different ways through fanfics and AUs and whatever. I do that too!

But I would definitely ask people to be normal with how they engage in criticism, especially in the current state of affairs. Writers are developers; they experience a ton of harassment and negativity from the community and also from inside the company. And they are online: they can see what we're saying. It's been documented that community commentary has been used to harass writers:

Imprint this into your brain and never forget what these people had to go through. Let's not forget also the way people treated Seth Dickinson on social media when he was active with Destiny fans. "Fans" were actively arguing with him about his own work (telling him that HE is wrong) and were utterly disgusting towards him when he tried explaining what he wrote. His works are now hailed as the best writing in Destiny and people want him back. If I were him, I wouldn't want to come back ngl, not with how he was treated and not with how fans are still treating writers (and hey, Seth wrote LF Collector's Edition! So he was back, technically, this year!). Let's not forget that a lot of writers are members of various marginalised groups. And I'd definitely not want to go back with zero support from leadership.

Which is also an important aspect for all developers, including writers: sometimes they have orders they may not like, but can't argue against. They do the best they can with what they're given, the time they have and directions they receive. And with that in mind, I am enjoying everything we've gotten this year, obviously with some specific complaints about things I didn't particularly enjoy (like the universally mid reception of Defiance; I've spoken about my gripes with it before, a big one being the shafting of Suraya who should've at least been mentioned in a lore tab).

I can tell that there is passion in their work, even if maybe they would prefer to do more with it, but can't. Maybe even if they want to take different routes, but can't. But from what we got, I can feel that they care about this world and these characters. I can tell that someone lovingly wrote about Sloane and her friendships with two grieving women. I can tell that they deeply cared about Sloane's friendship with Zavala and that they loved showing us Saint and Drifter caring about a fellow trauma survivor.

I can tell that the writers are immensely careful and loving towards Eris; everything she went through was crafted with love and passion from both writers and her VA. Eris' story is such a fundamental aspect of Destiny and I can tell that this was important to the writing team and that they gave her everything they could to do justice to her character and her arc and her healing and her release from the cycle she was trapped in for so long.

I can tell that there are writers who care a lot about Osiris and Saint and their relationship. I can tell that someone cared a lot about expanding on Ahamkara and giving them more personalities. I can tell that someone cared DEEPLY about Sjur and Mara and that her repeated mentions are the passionate work of writers who want us to remember her.

I could go on. And I know that not everyone sees it this way, which is fine; we all have different ways of perceiving stories. I enjoy discussing things we in the fandom disagree on and I enjoy hearing different perspectives! Unfortunately, this has recently become rarer and rarer. And for the love of god, please try and treat writers with some respect, especially now, especially those who are still working and doing their best with the shitty situation they're in. None of the cries of "poor devs" ring true to me unless the same is given to writers, instead of treating them like punching bags.

[just-jordie-things]

The Crown - Steve Harrington

word count: 4462 warnings: dedicated to @high-functioning-fangirl02 <3

You’d give your life to protect these kids.  

These kids you’ve known since you started babysitting them in the sixth grade.  Back when Mrs Henderson hired you to watch Dustin.  Which essentially meant that you’d watch all of them.  But that was alright, over the past seven years of being their designated babysitter, you’d grown to love them all.

Mike Wheeler, the snarky little love-struck shit that you spent grieving with since losing Eleven.  Lucas Sinclair, the sweet boy with the occasional attitude whom you helped construct his Ghostbusters costume. Will Byers, the full time sweetheart that made you cookies for Valentine’s Day after hearing you complain about being dateless.  And of course Dustin, cute little button nosed Dusty with a trash mouthing tendency, whom looked up to you like a role model.

Hell, you were their role model.  Driving them to and from school, covering for them on late nights so they could finish their D&D tournaments.  Fiercely protecting them a year ago when Hawkins was Demogorgon infested.  Standing up for them when you’d see some upperclassmen picking on them.

Those who dared glance the wrong way towards The Party in your presence, were rumored to run home crying with a bleeding nose and terrified shriek.  You never put down the rumors… because maybe it had happened once or twice…

Over time The Party was no longer just a band of middle schoolers.  It had opened up to their babysitter, being you, a senior girl who had not many other friends.  Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers, which the boys always claimed was strictly because of family relations.  Not because Dustin was still harbouring a crush for Mike’s older sister.  The town Sheriff, Jim Hopper, who’d proved himself not to be an asshole, and turned out an alright guy.  Joyce Byers, whom you loved like a mother and whom treated you like her own daughter.  You’d frequently been titled ‘the daughter she wished to have had’ which always raised a snarky response from her sons.  Maxine (just Max.  Never Maxine) Hargrove, a high spirited and not your typical girl that you grew fond of easily.  Especially since she was nothing like her big brother.

And then there was Steve Harrington.  Who… really just was at the wrong place at the wrong time and ended up getting roped into the mess that Hawkins Lab had created.  King Steve, as you’d known him before you’d officially met last year by fluke accident, was always the popular boy that had a pretty girl hanging off his arm.  You weren’t sure why that changed so quickly, why he didn’t put himself out there as much as he used to, didn’t party hard anymore, wasn’t bragging about the new girl he was with that week like he was known for.  Maybe that day, when he walked into the Wheeler’s house right as you Nancy and Jonathan were awaiting the Demogorgon’s arrival, maybe he changed then.

Or maybe it was after he’d been sucked into… whatever this all was… and he changed to keep the secret.  Or maybe it was after Nancy had broken up with him, around the same time he started growing closer to Dustin.

But right now as you watched him directing the kids, you were more aware that he wasn’t King Steve anymore, that you had been before.  Sure, you’d realized somewhere along the way he was different.  But it wasn’t until now that you noticed it completely as it was.

“No listen you little shits, no one, is going anywhere” Steve ordered, holding a wash rag in his hand and pointing it between each of the boys, and girl, that stood in front of him.

“Friggin’ pointless just staying here” Dustin grumbled, walking out of the room whilst still muttering.  Mike groaned loudly, dramatically, and left to the living room with Max and Lucas.  You knew that he was still plotting you get out there tonight.  Consequences and dangers be damned.

You looked to Steve with a sigh, a lazy smile on your lips as you walked past him to go after Dustin.  He watched you go, letting out a breath as well as he put his hands on his hips and standing alone in the hall with his thoughts.

He’d give his life to protect these kids.

“Dusty?” You called gently as you walked into the kitchen, seeing Dustin sitting on the floor against the dishwasher.  Your brows furrowed as you sat across from him by the cabinets.  “You alright kiddo?”

“Would I be sitting in here brooding if I was?” He quipped, though you knew he meant well.

“Sweetheart you’re too adorable to be a brooder” You laughed softly, pulling your knees up slightly.  “A pouter maybe, but not a brooder”

“Thanks y/n” He responded dryly.  You rolled your eyes in response to his sarcasm.

“Come on kid, open up a little.  It’s me” Your words were soft, which did prompt Dustin to consider explaining to you his thoughts.  “Please? If we make it out of this alive I’ll take you to the arcade.  I’ve got a big jar full of quarters I’ve saved up-”

“Okay okay I’ll take the bribe” Dustin caved with a laugh that made your mood lighten.  “Look it’s gonna sound lame and cheesy but… everyone else is helping.  Jonathan and Nance and Mrs Byers and Hopper and Elle, but what am I doing?”

“You’re staying safe” Your answer came out instantly, but it didn’t seem to be the one the boy was looking for.

“No I’m not, I’m sitting on the sidelines, watching everyone else go be heroes and getting hurt.  I’m not doing a damn thing!”

“Hey” You hummed softly, and scooted over closer to put your head on his shoulder.  “You’re a hero Dustin.  Don’t tell yourself any differently.  All of you are, Mike too, and Lucas, and Max, and-”

“Steve?” Dustin offered, and you nodded, looking at him confusedly by the strange tone of voice he used.

“Of course, why’re you looking at me like that?”

“No reason” Dustin shrugged nonchalantly, brushing off the uncomfortable air between you both.

“Alright well, you should believe me” You continued.  “Even if you don’t think so, you’re all my heroes, got it Henderson?” The boy smiled and nodded, prompting you to push the cap of his hat down playfully before he could get up and leave the room.

“Mike’s probably still planning his attack” He told you, but you shrugged and waved a hand.

“Let him plot and brood” You said, and Dustin’s mouth fell open.

“How come Mike can brood but I can’t?” You rolled your eyes, still waving your hand for him to get out of here.

“Just go plot with him, I know you’re itching to” You said, and he grinned wide at you, glad you were letting him go plan their escape and attack.

“Thanks y/n!” He called, already racing out of the room.  “You’re the best!” You laughed, shaking your head as you stood back up and dusted off the pants of your overalls.  Steve came in a few moments later, watching you almost suspiciously.

“What?” You questioned, and he shrugged, shaking his head.

“Nothing.  Just wondering why you’re permitting them to conspire against us” He said.

“They’re not conspiring, they’re just discussing.  No harm in that”

“Um, every harm in that.  As in all of us, being harmed, because of that” He said, but you didn’t really seem to care what he thought about it.

“They’re fine, we’re all fine, don’t freak out so much mom” You said, walking out towards the kids and seeing them all circled up and discussing their big plan.

“I’m not a mom” Steve argued, and you chuckled, turning to see him, his dish rag on his shoulder, hands on hips.  It only made you laugh more.

“Mhm, alright.  Well then what would you call yourself?” You replied sarcastically, nodding towards his own stance, and making Steve second guess himself.

“This- you-! Alright whatever just stay away from the windows and go be safe somewhere” He muttered, walking into the living room where the kids were.  You rolled your eyes again, but couldn’t help the smile on your lips.

Perhaps, you thought, King Steve was the king of something else now.

You watched as he was waving his rag at the kids again, yelling at them for plotting behind his back, and reminding them that no one was going anywhere.  But even as Dustin pouted, Steve was rubbing his hand over the thirteen year old’s head.  Almost soothingly, like he felt bad for ending their little meeting.

“What a mom” You mumbled, and headed back into the kitchen for something to eat.

You used to resent Steve, back when he was the king of school and didn’t care about anything more than he cared about his popularity and his hair.  Back when he didn’t give a shit about pretty much anything.  And looking at him now and seeing him watch over these kids, you could physically feel your heart swelling.  If that isn’t character development, you weren’t sure what was.

You weren’t sure why it made you feel so bubbly either.

“Listen runts, we’re staying here, we’re staying safe, and we’re not dying!” Steve said, for what felt like the fifth time.  But Mike kept arguing back at him.

“Everyone else is out there!”

“Everyone else knows how to fight all that shit!” Steve retorted.  “We are staying, here” He repeated slowly, waving his rag between each word.  “You got that?”

“You’re just saying that cause y/n’s here.  If she wasn’t here, we’d all be getting in your car and going!” Lucas spoke up.  Your brows furrowed at that.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked, ignoring your search for food and now strutting into the room where everyone else was.  “Am I dragging you down?” You asked, almost sarcastic, but wondering what he’d actually meant by his announcement.  Were you dragging them down?

“No, Steve would just protect your ass over our asses” Max shrugged, and the others nodded.

“What the hell? Everyone here is protecting their own asses, I’m not getting killed for a bunch of kids!” Steve said, making flustered and jerky movements.  You brushed off their newly sprung argument over where Steve’s bat is swinging and who it’s swinging for.

Apparently, The Party was certain that he’d die for you, rather die for them.  But you didn’t care much about what they thought.  They’d always thought that you and Steve were meant to be some power couple, but you supposed it was just cause you were the same age and the kids only ever saw you two together.  There was no real evidence (as far as they showed) towards the ‘chemistry’ you and Steve supposedly had.

You wandered to the window, curiously looking out it with your arms wrapped around yourself.

“Will you just shut up?” Mike’s yelling made you jump a little, and you turned to see your friends all still arguing with each other.  You smiled slightly, meeting Steve’s eyes as he gave you a bored look.  You just laughed a little bit back at him.  Steve’s expression softened into a small smile.  Your face flushed with heat, and you nervously turned away from him to look back out the window again.

A light blinded you almost instantly, making you squint your eyes and put a hand over them to try and clear your vision.

“What the hell?” You muttered, leaning closer to the glass to see what was going on.  Headlights, there was a car here.  Someone was here.  “Steve?” You called, not turning away from the window.  He came over right away, looking outside to see a familiar Camaro parked in the driveway.

“Shit” He grumbled, walking towards the front door.

“What- where are you going? Who is it?” You asked, following quickly after him, but Steve quickly turned to make you stay back.

“Just stay in here-”

“Sinclair!” A voice hollered from outside, and you jumped, eyes widening as you recognized it.  “I know you’re in there!”

“Billy?” You whispered to Steve, who nodded.  You stepped backwards, eyes never leaving Steve’s.  “What’s he doing here?” Your voice was quiet.

Billy Hargrove, was the most vile, horrible person you’d ever met.  And his wicked ways of bending people to his will, shook you intensely to your core.  It was no secret to the others that Billy not only terrified you, but would seductively torture you every day.  Sure, you’d been picked on before, but this was different.  Every day he’d come to you, hoping to get something out of you, just to mess with you.

“Come on babe, a little kiss, just a little one, we can discuss the rest later”

“You don’t want to get a ride home with me and have some fun?”

“When’re you finally gonna give this up and just put out?”

You shuddered slightly, practically feeling his hot breath against your skin just thinking about the things he’s said to you.  Stopping you in the hallways, finding you at your locker, approaching you while you waited at Steve’s car for a ride home.

“I know you’re in there you little pig! Come out here or I’ll have to go in!” His voice was dangerous, threatening.  And you felt a legitimate fear for your life, and the kids’.

“It’s fine, you’re fine, I promise” Steve said quietly, out of earshot of the others.  “All of you stay here, stay away from the windows” He ordered, giving you one last look before you turned and went to The Party.  They needed you right now, all huddled around Lucas and Max to make sure if Billy were to look inside, he wouldn’t see them.

“Come on guys” You said softly, ushering them as far away from the window as you could.  Steve, on the other hand, opened the door and stepped outside.

Instead of hiding in a room, completely out of sight of the maniac, you all ducked under the windowsill to see what was happening.

“Am I dreaming or is that really you Harrington?” You felt your entire body quivering upon hearing Billy’s voice.  Dustin, who was crouched next to you, turned and gave you a worried look, but your eyes were dead set on the outside.

“Yeah it’s me, don’t cream your pants” Steve responded, walking out towards him as he pulled off his leather jacket.

“What’re you doing here amigo?” Billy asked, the cigarette hanging off his lips moving as he spoke.

“I could ask you the same thing” Steve responded, void of emotion.  “Amigo”

“Lookin’ for my step sister.  Little birdie told me she was here”

“Huh, that’s weird I don’t know her” Steve lied easily, and convincingly.  You prayed to God that Billy believed him.

“Small? Redhead?” Billy replied disbelievingly.  “Bit of a bitch?”

“Ashole” Max muttered to herself inside.

“Doesn’t ring a bell, sorry buddy” Steve replied, still not sounding like he cared even an inkling.  Billy nodded, taking out his cigarette.

“You know… I don’t how this, this whole situation Harrington is um.., it’s giving me the heebie jeebies” Billy said, looking at Steve a little more threateningly.

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“My thirteen year old sister goes missing all day, and then I find her with you” Billy pointed accusatory hands towards Steve, giving him a disgusted look.  “In a strangers house” He continued.  “And you lie to me about it” Steve chuckled bitterly, shaking his head and looking away for a moment.

“Yeah, maybe you were dropped too much as a child or what” Steve said snarkily.  But Billy just grinned his twisted grin and licked his tongue over the front of his teeth.  “I don’t know what you don’t understand about what I just said”

You felt a chill go down your spine as Steve’s protectiveness took over his tone.  Dustin beside you mumbling a quiet, “Holy shit”

“She’s not here” Steve said carefully.  Billy nodded, looking pointedly towards the window where you and The Party were all huddled and looking out of.

“Then who’s that?” He asked, pointing his cigarette towards his sister.

“Down!” You hissed, and the five of you dropped to the floor so fast you all groaned from the impact of the floor.

“Shit!” Dustin cursed.  “Did he see us?”

“Oh shit” Steve grumbled.  “Okay listen-” Billy pushed him to the ground before he could explain anything.  The boy kicked him, before storming up into the house.

“Well well well” Billy smirked, seeing you and The Party standing there together, you in front of all of them.  “y/n l/n, what a lovely little surprise” You grimaced, but he didn’t seem to care.  “And Lucas Sinclair, not so much a surprise at all” You moved over more in front of Lucas, who’s hands grabbed onto your arm out of fear.  “I thought I told you to stay away from him Max”

“Billy, go away” Max retorted, but her voice wavered.

“You disobeyed me” Billy leaned over his step sister tauntingly.  “And you know what happens when you disobey me” He added in a hushed, volatile voice.

“Billy-”

“I break things” He uttered, before pushing you aside, crashing your body into the wall.  Before slamming Lucas up against the cupboards.

“Billy stop!” Max and the others began to yell, Dustin rushing over to help you up, but you were already standing up on your own.

“Get off of me!” Lucas cried.

“Since Maxine won’t listen to me, maybe you will” Billy muttered.  “You stay away from her.  Stay-! Away from her” He yelled awkwardly.  “Do you hear me?”

“I said get off me!” Lucas screamed again, followed by a knee between Billy’s legs.  You gasped, feeling a moment of pride as Billy stumbled back and released him.

“You are so dead Sinclair!” Billy hollered.  “You’re dead-”

“No” Steve grabbed Billy by the shoulder, spinning him around roughly.  “You are” And with that he swung his fist and planted it hard enough against Billy’s jaw to make him topple over.

“Steve!” You yelped out of surprise.  He looked at you for a moment, nodding in reassurance as he shook out his hand.  It’d been a while since he’d hit anybody.  Billy stood back up, laughing menacingly.  “You’re a fucking psycho!” You screeched before you could stop yourself.

“Looks like you got some fire in you after all huh!?” He yelled at Steve.  “I’ve been waiting to meet this King Steve everybody’s been telling me so much about” He stepped closer to Steve, glaring at him.

“Get out” Steve muttered, pushing Billy’s chest lightly to move him away from him.  Billy stepped back and stood there for a moment.  And after a few seconds passed you were certain that he was going to stay back.

Until he swung swiftly at Steve, but missed as Steve ducked just in time.  You gasped, clapping your hands over your mouth in terror.  Steve stood back up and swung his fist again, hitting Billy and making him stumble again.

“Yes! Get him Steve!” Dustin cheered, and the others began to as well.  You couldn’t find yourself to say anything, just wince every time a punch was made.  Steve hit him two more times, and Billy ran into the kitchen sink.  Leaning back and wincing in pain.

“Kill him! Kill him!” Mike was yelling.  But Billy grabbed a plate of the counter, smashing it over Steve’s head, and making him fall to the ground.

“Steve!” You screamed now, taking long strides to get over to him, only to be pushed away by Billy.  Who hit Steve as soon as he stood up again.  He grabbed Steve by the shoulders, staring him down.

“No one.  Tells me what to do” He muttered angrily, and threw his head forward hard into Steve’s knocking him down again.

“Fucking hell” You mumbled, tears beginning to prick your eyes in fear that Billy was actually going to kill Steve.  The mullet wearing psycho leapt onto Steve, pinning him down and swinging punch after punch against his face.

“Stop it!” Mike yelled at the top of his lungs, but it did nothing to end Billy’s attack.

“Steve!” Dustin hollered.

You stood frozen, every scene in front of you soundless, and moving slowly.  You could only feel your heart in your chest, sending you into an anxiety attack, you were sure.  But it barely mattered to you in that moment.  You turned away, and your eyes landed on something.

The syringe used on Will earlier.

Sleep… put him to sleep… your thoughts were broken as you reached for it, looking at it in your hands for a few seconds, before stepping forward and slamming the needle into Billy’s neck without a hesitation.  Mike and Dustin gasped, standing back.  Everyone’s eyes stuck on the syringe hanging out of BIlly’s neck now.  A disgust filling them up at the sight.

“Shit y/n” Dustin mumbled, his hand covering his mouth to stop vomit from flowing.

Billy stood up, wobbling slightly as he turned to look at you.  He pulled the needle out of his neck, vision beginning to fail.  “The hell is this?” He asked, trying to step towards you threateningly, but he was wobbling so much you didn’t even move.  No longer afraid of him.

“You’re fucking done Hargrove” You muttered, and before thinking twice to second guess yourself, punching him across the jaw, and sending him back on his ass.  Billy groaned, staying down where he’d fallen against the couch.

“Shit what did you do” He mumbled, growing dizzy from the mix of drug and pain.

A few moments later he completely passed out.

“Fuck” You hissed in pain, putting your bruising knuckles against your mouth.  You didn’t think punching someone would hurt so damn much.

“y/n holy shit”

“Are you okay?”

“That was badass!”

The Party was fussing and cheering for you, but you didn’t respond, kneeling down by Steve next and counting up all the cuts and bruises he was beginning to sport.  He was unconscious, that was for sure.  But he’d be in for a world of hurt when he woke up.

“Come on, help me get him back to Jon’s bed” You called to the kids.

It was difficult moving him, but after ten minutes you’d managed to get him into Jonathan’s room to lie on the bed there.  You were sat next to him, a cold wet rag in your hand, and the open first aid kit on the ground.  It took you awhile to clean off all the blood and apply bandages where you thought they were necessary.  There was a frozen bag of peas you’d put over one of his eyes to stop the swelling, but so far it still looked pretty bad.

The Party had sat with you for what felt like a long time before you told them to go back to the living room and wait for the others to return home.  Dustin put up a small fight about it, but eventually gave in and listened to your order.  And now it was just you kneeling on the ground by Steve, watching over him carefully.  Making sure he was breathing okay, and that nothing would begin to bleed again.

“Well King Steve, you got quite the ass kicking” You mumbled, just to yourself.  Your fingers placed a few stray hairs on his forehead back into place.  “But your crown is still there” You smiled to yourself, fingertips gently brushing his hair.

“y/n?” Your eyes looked back at him as he mumbled, almost incoherently.  “What happened?” The poor boy’s eyes weren’t even open.

“You put up a really good fight” You told him softly.  He winced, the pain probably beginning to settle in.

“Did I win?” He groaned, eyes clenching shut momentarily.  You bit down on your lip and shook your head, even though he couldn’t see you.

“You put up a really good fight” You repeated yourself, playing with his hair again.  Steve sighed, knowing the answer.

“Is he gone?” He asked, eyes finally beginning to flutter open.

“Yeah… yeah he won’t be back any time soon, I’m sure” You answered.  Steve looked up at you, smiling down gently at him.  He smiled back instantly, and moved his arm to push your hair back, but even at it’s slight movement you winced in pain.  “You’re in pretty bad shape” You told him quietly.  “But you’ll heal up alright”

“Are you okay?” He asked, and you nodded.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine” You shrugged slightly.  “We’re all really worried about you.  Dustin thought you were dead” Steve chuckled painfully, shaking his head a little bit.

“Are they alright? Max and Lucas?”

“Yeah, we’re all good Steve” You hummed with a slight nod.  You leaned forward, a little closer to him to check on the eye swelled under the bag of peas.  You frowned, seeing the black and blue bruise that only seemed to be spreading.

“I’m alright, don’t fuss so much” Steve said, putting his hand over the bag and pushing it back against his face.  Your eyes met his for a moment.

“You’re pretty bruised up Harrington” You sighed, taking the wet rag in your hand and dabbing it gently on his bruised cheek.  “There’s not an inch of your face spared”

“It’ll be fine, I’ll heal up”

“Years from now, maybe” You replied sarcastically, and he smiled at you while you carefully pressed the cold cloth to his face.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” He murmured, and you looked at him for the briefest of seconds before going back to work.  Now is not the time to talk about feelings, you thought to yourself.

“Yeah? Go play hero some more and you’ll never see anything again” You told him, and he shrugged slightly, not having a response to that.

“I just wanted to remind you.  In case you haven’t been told in a while” He said.  You bit on the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling too much.  You looked down at him, your eyes softening slightly.

You leaned over closer to him, pausing for a moment before pressing your lips lightly against his.  It was a chaste kiss, only lasting a few seconds as you didn’t want to hurt him anymore than he already was.  When you pulled back, you smiled nervously at him, and he only smiled back at you.

“You’re lucky you didn’t die Harrington” You said, and got right back to work on pressing the rag to his wounds.

“That I am” He replied cheekily.

You giggled softly, smiling down at him and wondering just when he’d changed so much.

You knew he’d give his life for these kids too, just like you would.

love me some babysitter steve

xoxo ~ jordie

[aquanova99]

Can you do a headcanon of the guards meeting their human mate for the first time and their mate is all smiles and sunshine

Alec

Dead silence coming from this one for awhile

He has no idea what to say to you

Why are you being so nice to him? Don’t you know who he is?

You do? And you’re still being nice…you’re weird

Alec finds himself hanging around wherever you happen to be. If you happen to strike up a conversation then I guess he can talk but only because you’re talking to him (sure Alec)

However when you weren’t around someone had the nerve to say all of the energy was exhausting (shockingly not Jane) and they hoped you’d settle down once you were turned

Suffice to say Alec was not thrilled and when he told the other guard member to shut it, they wondered why he cared all of a sudden. He told them it was none of their business but if he heard them talk about you again they’d rip their head off

He begins seeking you out more and you’re unknowingly going to start chipping away the wall around him before you two are inseparable

Jane

She was shocked when you first came to the castle, you were only supposed to be a secretary since when does she care about secretaries

Literally only with you

She wants to be annoyed with you so badly but you are always so nice to her when you say good morning

When another vampires talks about she uses her gift a bit and tells them it’s not their job to gossip

She isn’t used to this kind of attitude from anyone, and she hates that she craves it so much

She will probably explode on you one day because she wants to know why you’re so nice to her no one has ever been this nice to her ever

Sunshine probably gives her a hug at this and Jane kind of melts a little when this happen letting her tears come out

She’s convinced you’ll be gifted in some way, maybe like Corin but there’s no way someone as bright as you wouldn’t have a gift of some kind.

Demetri

Loves it

Brags to everyone about it because he just finds it so sweet

Excited when everyone talks about how nice it is that you have so much energy

People tease him that you’re going to have way too much fun as a newborn (which you totally are)

Demetri is excited for the challenge

Will threaten anyone who even looks at you funny, like hand on their throat against a wall “talk about my mate again and we are going to have some problems.”

Sunshine mate is very oblivious to this

Felix

Also obsessed with it

But unlike Jane and Demetri he dreads the day you have to be turned

He’s worried you’ll hate being a vampire and your sunshine will fade away

Does not need to resort to anything like Demetri or Jane once people knew he had found his mate they were sure to keep their mouths shut

Glares at anyone if they don’t say hi back or continues conversation when his mate is trying to be friendly

Thinks you have to be protected at all costs, probably debated wrapping you in bubble wrap so nothing happen to you

Glad you are becoming friends with everyone and wonder why and how he got so lucky and why you would like someone who to him is the exact opposite of you

Heidi

Good the castle could use more sunshine around here

Loves to go out and enjoy more human activities with you because she knows you really enjoy it

You will probably stay human the longest with Heidi so long as you are good at keeping the secret

I think she’d be more clueless about people disliking too much energy

Because who could ever dislike you? That’s ridiculous

I hope no one find your shine because she will rain hellfire on them. She will hunt down everyone responsible and no one will be able to stop her nor do they want to

The only who could stop her honestly being the twins are just impressed someone could make Heidi that angry

But they’ve all grown to love you so if they upset you they deserve whatever Heidi is dishing out

[jann-07]

Joel: Oh god, a snake just bit my wife's leg, what do I do?

Scott: Elevate and apply pressure.

Joel: Okay.

Joel: *Lifting snake real high*

Joel: Say sorry or else!

---

Pearl: What's the worst decision you've ever made while drunk?

Sausage: I don't mean to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

---

Gem: Today I learned that pockets in dresses were phased out, so women could prove they're not witches, and carrying ill intentions and spells.

Gem: This is why women love pockets in skirts and dresses now.

Gem: We carry our spells and curses without purses and you won't see us coming.

fWhip, holding a drink: Good for her.

---

*thud*

Lizzie: What was that?

Joel: Nothing!

Lizzie: Then why did I hear it?

Joel: It was a loud nothing!

---

fWhip: If I killed someone, would you tell on me?

Gem: No, but I'd use it against you all the time. I'd be like "are you gonna wash the dishes or do I have to make a phone call?"