#and we could have her 'come brag on' us for like doing the dishes or cleaning our rooms

[k2e4]

had to save @thepioden s tags bc I am going to do this now

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

“zukuu, you have to stop making faces at him.”

insulted, izuku splutters. breaking eye contact to gasp at you.

“ i wasn’t making a face ! was i..?” he trails off, you giggle, you turn your back to your boyfriend once again to continue wiping down the last of the dishes.

“he’ll pout harder if you keep making that scary face.”

“i-i wasn’t trying to scare him !” your boyfriend exclaims, looking at your baby cousin again and slumping when he sees the pout still fixed onto his face, visibly dimming “i don’t understand what i did wrong..”

“zuku, i already told you. kuma always looks like that. you’ll get used to it.” you reassure, a teasing smile on your face. your boyfriend seems undeterred by your explanation and hides his face behind his hands again, peeking through his fingers hoping to see even the minuscule crack of a smile on your younger cousin’s face.

your aunt had asked you to babysit your younger cousin takuma after suddenly being called in for work and having no one to watch over him for the day. you were free, and agreed to help her out, takuma was a sweet little boy and you didn’t get to see him super often. so the more you could the better ! unfortunately this fell on the same day as when your boyfriend was meant to come over to your house, but ever the loving, helpful boyfriend he is, izuku insisted on wanting to come over to help you out. he gets to spend time with you and get along with a cute baby, that sounded like a great time to him. and not to brag, but kids always seemed to love him.

every kid except for takuma apparently. the little boy’s face seemed permanently stuck with a frown. his eyebrows stood furrowed and his chubby pinch-able little cheeks puffed out, obviously unhappy with izuku’s presence.

you’d tried to tell izuku that this was just takuma’s resting face. that he looked at everyone this way and that it always surprised strangers. but as loving and doting as he is, your boyfriend could aslo be endearingly stubborn. he was determined to get takuma to smile at him at least once today. and now it looked like he was trying peekaboo. you couldn’t help but snort at your boyfriend’s laughable attempts at making your little cousin’s poker face crumble. “aw man, that one usually always works..” you hear him mumble. you put the final plate into your cupboard and turn with a sigh.

“izuku.”

“no no, i got it.” without realizing it, izuku’s brows furrowed in concentration, which your baby cousin unfortunately mistook for a challenge, furrowing his eyebrows even harder and even huffing at him. the nail in the coffin it looks like, izuku gasps, looking at your cousin with a betrayed expression “ ah ! what’d i do ?!”

“you were glaring at him !” you giggle, your boyfriend throws his head back, exasperated. you pull out a chair and sit next to him, giggling and pulling on takuma's pudgy cheek. said little boy does not break eye contact with izuku. you can admit he's acting kind of strange. was he actually going out of his way to challenge him ? the thought makes you giggle again. you turn to look at your boyfriend's pouty face looking at the exchange between you and your cousin.

"i didn't mean to glare at him.." he whines, leaning into your touch when you put your hand in his hair.

"i know."

"i felt like we were making progress."

"i..kinda doubt that," you snort, scratching at his green locks. desperately, he looks back at you wide eyed "but we were i swear ! it felt like he was starting to like me !"

"mhm ?" you break into a fit of laughter, and soon after izuku joins you, laughing softly to himself and shaking his head. takuma blinks at you both in confusion, and it makes you smile harder. seeing you laugh so hard makes izuku smile harder too, cheeks glowing a cute pink.

"i..sound crazy don't i ?" he asks, grinning at you. you pretend to think it over to tease him, and he huffs affectionately.

"hmmm, a little." izuku shakes his head, dropping it in shame as he stares at his lap. he heaves a heavy sigh and it makes you giggle a little bit more.

"i really don't know what i'm doing wrong, babies usually like me.."

"but i told you you're not doing anything wrong, izu." you reach to pinch his cheeks next, he yelps a little. "kuma's only lookin' at you 'cus you're new. he'll get used to you in no time, kay ?" you smile. a beat passes and izuku nods, smiling back at you.

"but i don't know, he kinda looks like he has it out for me.." he whispers, you assume so takuma doesn't hear. how thoughtful.

"yeah i did think it was kinda strange how he hasn't stopped looking at you.."

he drops his head back at your words "i thought so..!"

"but that doesn't mean he doesn't like you, per se..maybe he's just weary of you !" izuku leans back, placing a hand over his chest like he's actually been struck. he looks over at takuma still sitting proudly in his high chair like a king.

"what's there to be weary of ? i'm really nice, i promise !" takuma's only answer is a blink "that's really intense.." you're boyfriend sweat drops, "i don't think i've had anyone look at me like that before."

"shouldn't you be used to being glared at by now since you've known bakugou since you were kids ?"

"i don't even think kacchan was this bad." you scoff, slapping at his sturdy arm. "don't say that, you liar !" your boyfriend laughs to himself. struggling to hold your laughter back as you play fight. you're interrupted by takuma's whine. his poker face finally somewhat melting as he pouts, big eyes going glossy as he reaches out for you with chubby little fingers. you immediately zoom over to the child's side.

"aaww babyy," you coo "you wanna be wif me, yeah ? cuutieeee," your voice rises up an octave. izuku blushes at how cute you look and he hates himself for feeling a smidge jealous your cousin had managed to grab your attention. he shakes his head to rid himself of those childish thoughts.

you hop the baby up in your arms to readjust him, tickling his little tummy which earns you a giggle, izuku feels his jaw drop to the floor so hard if he were in a cartoon it'd make a comically loud clang sound, now he's a bit jealous of you.

"i think he's a little hungry, i'll be right back izu." you press a quick kiss to his cheek before bounding off to go get the toddlers bag that your aunt had entrusted to you in your room. the little contact alone makes heat blossom all the way to izuku's neck and he can't fix his lips to say anything, nodding dumbly.

the last thing he sees before you leave the room is takuma's gaze fixed to him. izuku sends him a determined smile and a wave. he'll win him over soon enough.

[libraryofbronze]

Smut Idea: A woman moves to a secluded home to live with two male roommates far away from sociey as a live in sex toy in order to fulfill all of their sexual fantasies. Everyday and night she is fucked in a new way, leaving her pussy and body unimaginablly red, sore, and stretched. She is their personal whore and nearly constantly in use by one or the other or both or a vast array of fucking toys and tools.

Lyan could hardly remember what it had been like to be a normal girl. It felt like a lifetime ago, like a fading shadow cast by the flickering flames of a dying campfire. Soon to be extinguished by the coming dawn,

There was a cock inside of her. She was bent over, her breasts pressed into the wooden wall of the old house. Her hardened nipples tingled and jolted, each thrusting pressing her against the solid wood. It felt heavenly, the cock was hard and big, filling her up until tears spilled from her eyes. Her pussy hugged it, gripping it tightly even as pleasure roared through her like a torrent. Each thrust, each motion, each grinding penetration filled her mind with fire and cast those early days even more deeply into shadow.

She hadn’t always been such a cock-slut. She hadn’t always been a soaking, dripping mess of a woman. A toy reduced to her most primal functions, her only purpose to serve and please her betters.

No, that was not how she had started life.

Lyan yelped, a crackling orgasm spun through her nubile body. Her pussy twitched, and her master gave a grunt of satisfaction. He filled her up, his seed pouring into her pussy with a flood of heat and warmth. As he pulled out, she sank to her knees. Her chest heaved, rising and falling. Her eyes were wide, her auburn hair in a tangled mess.

“Better get back to the dishes,” the man chuckled. “When Robert gets back, you’ll be punished if they’re not done. And you know we hate to punish you.”

She felt him sweeping from the room, heard the groaning of old floorboards under his weight. Just like that, she’d been used, fucked, filled and left.

Lyan knelt on the floor, her body trembling. Slowly, she ran one hand between her legs. Her labia were a little swollen. She’d been used a lot lately. A tingle of pain marked the contact. As Jason’s seed dripped from her lower lips, she noted she’d have to beg for a break soon.

Jason and Robert were good about giving her breaks when she needed them. They’d fuck her in the ass for a few days and give her time to recover. Lyan pulled herself to her feet. Her legs were still shaking, little sparks of ecstasy danced across her calves and thighs, and she had to lean against the wall, panting and groaning until she was able to stagger back over towards the half-finished dishes. The soapy water had now grown cold, but there was always plenty of power to heat more.

Running out of money was not a thing that either Robert or Jason had to fear. She didn’t know exactly what they did, but they were rich. Richer than rich, really. The kind of people who were so wealthy they didn’t need to flaunt it. They didn’t like to show off. They wore normal clothes and drove practical, rugged cars. They didn’t boast or brag and they certainly never made a big thing of it.

In fact, the only concession to their wealth was the house itself. It was old, a rebuilt farmhouse from the century prior. A forest had grown up around it, enveloping it slowly over time. The two of them had taken it as a personal project, restoring it and stocking it with the very finest of everything. Yes, it was miles and miles from the nearest civilization but when it had literally anything you could ever want on offer, who cared about the drive?

And ‘’anything’’ of course, included Lyan.

When the dishes were done and put away, she went to report to Jason. He was sitting comfortably in the living room, tucked up against a table upon which there sat an expensive-looking laptop. He didn’t spare her a look, and she figured he was probably doing something important. Playing the stocks? Racing horses? Hunting humans for sport?

Lyan realised she really didn’t know what he did for fun.

Besides her, of course.

“The dishes are done, sir,” she took on an appropriately servile tone. Sometimes, she liked to tease. To bait, to taunt them into punishing her. it was always fun when that happened.

She remembered one time she’d done something particularly bad. They had tied her hands above her head, draping them from a hanging rafter. Robert had taken the hot wax to her body, splashing it across her pale skin with quick, sudden motions. Lyan had whimpered, jumping with each searing pinprick. The feeling had been so intense, so quick. When the hot wax had curled about her left nipple, she’d let out a howling cry, but that was nothing to what she felt when Robert intentionally let a bead of it touch her glistening clitoris.

Oh, how she’d shook! How she’d shivered! She’d been begging for forgiveness by then. Her body clenching, her pussy hot and tight and wet.

They had taken turns fucking her for the rest of the night. First in the pussy, then in the ass. Just when both men were spent and she was sure it was finally over, Jason had revealed that he’d brought in a new shipment of toys. A crate - a whole fucking crate - was waiting to torment her until the dawn.

By the end, she’d been dripping, ruined, a total mess on her hands and knees begging her masters for forgiveness.

In the present, Lyan gave a little moan. Her pussy throbbed, a wave of tightness expanded between her legs. The idea of invoking another punishment was tempting…

But she was already aching. She had to pace herself. That was part of The Agreement.

The agreement. Yes. How long ago had that been? Another life, surely? It felt like it had happened to another girl. A normal girl. A girl still in college. A girl who had to worry about qualifications, about jobs, about a future which was so uncertain.

What would that Lyan think now if she could only see her future self?

“You’d best be ready to go the full way if you’re going to start playing with yourself, slut.”

Lyan’s face coloured. She’d gotten too caught up in the past! Her fingers had started to work the bud of her clit, teasing it with delicate touches and feathery caresses as she remembered her past punishments.

“S-sorry sir,” she said. “I can’t help myself….”

“You are forgiven,” Jason waved a magnanimous hand. “It’s what we made you, after all.”

It was true. That was what they had made her. What she had let them make her.

The agreement, an offer of damnation that seemed to spring from her deepest desires. Total submission. Free use, surrender. Her body would no longer be her own. She would cede control to these men, allow them to use her in every way. To fuck her, to humiliate her, to tease her and torment her.

And she loved it all. She lived for it. At twenty-one years old, Lyan was a professional slut. A free-use whore for her owners and any guests that they chose to bring to the small, isolated house. She’d had more sex in the last year than most women had in three. She was trained, submissive, degraded and humiliated.

And she loved every second of it.

[boopshoops]

💆 and 🏘 for yuu if thats alright?

OK- so a lot of yall asked for the same emojis SO i'm gonna format Yuu's all in one post then do another for Jocia+Ezra-

UHHH DJJDJD THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ANSWERING QUESTIONS IN CHARACTER so lets say the default text is me/narrator then orange is Yuu

@ceruleancattail @the-trinket-witch @rabioa @scint1llat3

💆how do you relax?

"Well, let's get right into it then, shall we?" Yuu clasped her hands together, a sly smile spreading onto her lips, "Relaxation... well I guess listening to music would be my go to. Genre doesn't matter to me mostly," The woman tapped her chin, lightly humming as she thought, "Though I suppose my definition of 'relaxing' isn't exactly universal... I often enjoy getting up and around and even dancing a bit, maybe having a quick chat as well... it helps me center myself. Too many thoughts in this big brain of mine sometimes!~ A way to focus is most definitely what relaxation is to me. Some people find it chaotic, but I don't care about some people. It's fun to me. Besides, it's not like I never sit down and rest."

🏘️where's your happy place?

"Huh... some of these questions are rather deep, aren't they?" Yuu cleared her throat, doing her best to keep a neutral expression, "Much like a lot of people, my happy place isn't an actual PLACE. It is more like a state. All that being said, I'm... not quite sure. Not to say that I'm not happy, of course! There are hard times and good times, but I suppose I'm still trying my best to find such a 'place' for me in this new world. Let's call this one a work in progress, yes? I'll get there eventually, not to worry. I have my plans, of course~"

✏️What are your hobbies?

"Oh! This is a fun one. I'm a musician. I have been taking band and theater courses my whole life," Yuu lifted her head triumphantly, gladly taking the opportunity to brag, "Singing, acting, playing instruments... I managed to get into a pretty prestigious performing arts school back home, and what more could one ask for than to spend their life doing what they love?" Her peppiness suddenly dropped, resulting in a roll of her eyes, "Not that it's useful now that I'm stuck here though. Damn Crowley."

🥣what's your favorite food?

"Bungeoppang!" The prefect chirped, leaning forward in her (imaginary) seat for this (imaginary) interview, "Or, ah- taiyaki, or bread with a sweet red bean filling. I was trying to learn more about my ancestry, and came across this pastry thanks to my father. Originally I didn't think I was the biggest fan of sweets, but, wow~ Only then, after I fell in love with it, did I learn it wasn't even a traditional dish from my father's home... figures. Nonetheless! You'll have to try some!"

"Ah, Here's a fun fact for you, I learned the language a long time ago along with trying to learn more about my family's history, but no one here seems to recognize it, which... makes sense, I guess. It was a bummer at first, but then I learned I can simply say whatever I want without them understanding me. What a breath of fresh air~"

The woman momentarily giggled, "...배고파요"

🙂where do your morals lie?

"Hmph. What a complete 180 of a question..." Her lips pursed into a pout. She offered up a quick glare, but it didn't last very long at all, "I'm just trying my best to exist and let others exist at the moment!" She beamed with the flip of a switch, her suspiciously innocent smile nearly blinding. She kept this one brief. Barely an answer.

🥰do you think you're attractive?

"Yes," The woman answered... almost too quickly, "I like how I look. I spend a lot of time on myself, so it's only natural to get a bit of an ego boost from that, yes? Confidence is a healthy thing! I spent a lot of time carefully crafting my sense of style, it makes me feel... like me." Yuu momentarily fluttered her lashes, accompanied by laughter through a rhythmic tease, "Come onnnn~ you get it, right? You know I'm just a sweetheart? Completely innocent and well-meaning? Aren't I just like a princess? Of COURSE I'm attractive."

😍are you a romantic?

"....Hm," The woman paused, thinking deeply about the question in a moment of silence, "It depends on what your definition of 'romantic' is in this case, but I'd say I'm rather neutral. It's been awhile since I've been in a relationship myself, so I can't really say for sure..." Yuu tilted her head, crossing one leg over the other as she leaned back in her seat. Striking a pose to simply ponder.

"I'm not a hopeless romantic, but I highly value romantic gestures. Does that make sense? I particularly value physical touch along with gift receiving as far as love language goes. At least, that's how it used to be with my ex-girlfriend. I don't think that has changed too much. So, hey! If you're interested, feel free to just hand over your credit card as a gift, I'll get back to you," The woman finished with a joke, attempting to turn the mood away from being sour.

"ALSO HELLO YUU SHI YOU ARE GORGEOUS HELLO LIKE ARE YOU AN ANGLE FROM HEAVEN??? CAUSE YOU'RE A-CUTE"

The prefect blinked, leaving an uncomfortable amount of awkward silence as she read the words on the page of (imaginary) interview questions.

She held back a snort, doing her best to hide a guilty grin along with her horrible sense of humor, "Wh-Who wrote this? Who wrote these questions?" She giggled to herself, setting down the page in finality, "Sevens, that's awful... I love it. I'm well aware, but thank you. I needed the laugh today."

"Will that be all?"

Ask game!

[mchib]

I need some Rize and Shuu friendship headcanons!

thank u anon!

i want to say ive never written a fanfic or anything of the sort so im not experienced in that field of writing but i do like do do character analasys and like headcanoning things so feel free to share any opposing views!!

first and foremost i feel like they have a common character flaw that they expect nothing less of an extravagant lifestyle even though both of them attempt to uphold and fulfil this different ways i feel like they would find great company in like luxurious or over the top things and they could perhaps be one of the only people that dont harbor distaste or skeptical feelings towards each other upon learning of the others hobbies. they also have certain tastes and are both picky eaters in their own ways so i imagine a lot of discussions would be had about what characteristics make someone more tasty. that being said i think shuu would continuingly tell rize that shes way too messy and she should invest in self control or at least be more private about her eating habits lolol.

i also feel like they would find solace in each others company talking about like art and philosophy although i imagine shuu already had more than enough people to rant to i think that rize would definitely genuinely listen and engage. if they fought or had a disagreement i imagine one of them being stuck head first in a concrete wall and then shuu would refuse to to her for like a day and call her a barbaric hoodlum behind her back but no real feelings or resentment would comply. i feel like a normal person having a conversation with any of the two would somehow contain an interference of something along the lines of 'woah woah woah you cant say that man thats too far' because they both make pretty morbid jokes but if it were just the two i feel like they would feel as though they could freely speak their mind without anyone wondering how they were raised or what set of events led to such absurd jokes being recited in such grim circumstances.

i feel like shuu would feel sort of be offended meeting rize upon hearing that her insides were used to turn kaneki half ghoul as even when kaneki loses all sanity his and rize's personalities are not compatible in the slightest, and so before learning to get over it he would feel kind of awkward around her because he wants to be mad at her but he knows it wasnt her fault at the same time so hes trying to be civil about it. meanwhile she would think of him as an antisocial snob and try to brag to him about how she made something of herself without being spoon-fed and is able to manage her giant appetite while on the run from the ccg and ghouls alike.

when shuu is like in his terminally ill granny state i feel like she would stay by his side but also be discouraging saying stuff like 'men should suffer in silence' and 'a public execution would be more appealing'. i feel like when they go out together shuu would try really hard to convince her to clean up so they can look fresh as hell and go fancy places but rize always ends up consuming some random homeless guy on the street. rize gives off 'i want to be with the bourgeoiseses' vibes but when they come around she just doesnt want to put in the effort. 'just kick reason to the curb and come with me!' (can you tell i do lyric analasys).

i feel like rize would like use shuu's rich people resources to make stuff like lets pose a hypothetical that ghouls could eat cookies. rize would use shuu's kitchen and ingredients to make the most foul tasting cookies and then put a sticky note on them telling shuu not to touch. then he flips out. rize is also very not used to not having to do dishes or anything in his household so she feels weird about being emptyhanded while others make the food. she'll be trying to hide her pleasure with being treated with such luxury but you can definitely see her grinning at the dinner table. we know she has table etiquette from her and kaneki's date but whats to stop her from completely disregarding all manners when shes in the presence of ghouls? i feel like she'd be kinda gross the first few times over cuz men aint shit but she kind of grows into being at least presentable at dinner.

when they r in the car shuu wants to be passanger princess but he doesnt trust rize behind the wheel. hes not the hero we deserve, but hes all we have right now. irrelevant but if rize was driving she'd like crash on the highway for fun or something. she has a fake license that says something like risse kaminishi from district 12

ok thats all i can think of rn & sorry if i mischaracterized shuu im not nearly as much of an expert on his character but i do enjoy him a lot

[jiaoji]

The talk

Lan WangJi has always been reserved, quiet and cold. Never in all his life did romantic relationships seem as attractive as his classmates murmured and bragged to each other.

Until Wei WuXian.

Lan WangJi now understood the plea, having Wei WuXian clingying on his neck and kissing him like his life depends on it.

They meet at the first year at high school. Wei WuXian was flirty and making jokes for Lan WangJi in the first day, everyone thought they hated eachother, and Wei Ying as well, because Lan WangJi was unusual cold and angry at him.

But after a year, they finally had a friendship and after more months, Wei Ying asked him out. Nobody actually knew about it, but their "rivalry" became Wei WuXian's favorite thing to provoke his boyfriend.

Wei WuXian had sneaked Lan WangJi into his room with any excuse to FengMian, the only one who was home at the time. In the kitchen, Jiang FengMian finished washing the dishes, enjoying the rare silence of his house.

He sighed with a satisfied smile and started setting the table. However, a strange noise coming from the bedroom drew attention.

Loud squeaks and sighs. Jiang FengMian sensed something was wrong and walked over to the door, which, unfortunately, was only a crack open. He opened it without much thought and then Lan WangJi and he exchanged wide-eyed glances.

Jiang FengMian, "..."

Lan WangJi, "..."

Lan WangJi had his hands tightly gripped on Wei WuXian's thighs, who was on his back, very busy kissing Lan WangJi's neck.

FengMian closes the door and coughs quickly. Perhaps he should have a talk with A'Ying, to understanding that he was no longer a child now.

Lan WangJi is unable to look at FengMian, as well as Wei WuXian once he heard what Jiang FengMian saw. He should apologize, along with Lan WangJi.

Wei WuXian, "Did Uncle Jiang see?!" Lan WangJi held him tightly around the waist so that Wei WuXian wouldn't slide off his lap as he squirmed to look at the door.

Ears red, Lan WangJi remembered the awkward silence and the stares he exchanged with Jiang FengMian.

Wei WuXian didn't know whether to laugh or cry, "I'm going to talk to Uncle Jiang..."

Lan WangJi, "I should apologize too."

Wei WuXian, "You should!"

At the end of the hall, the two looked around, hiding as they searched for the owner of the house, as silent as ever.

Wei WuXian let out a nervous laugh, "Did he leave?"

Above him, Lan WangJi was still looking around, when he noticed something on the dining table.

Lan WangJi came out of hiding, "There's a note-!"

Wei WuXian tilted his head, curious why Lan WangJi just stopped talking, "And what else, Lan Zhan?" to the tiptoeing and hands resting on his boyfriend's shoulders, Wei WuXian peeked at the note and noticed something at her side.

"I went out to do some shopping, when I arrive we can talk.

Please protect yourselves properly."

They both froze and blushed at the sight of the condom set.

Heavens!! What did Jiang FengMian think? They were 17, but they haven't done anything like that yet!

Wei WuXian didn't know whether to grab the condom or hide his face in his hands. Lan WangJi was too strict and innocent for such things! Even when they make out, Lan WangJi seem very shy, what Wei WuXian finds really cute actually.

Meanwhile, Lan WangJi thanked Jiang FengMian, he wouldn't have to use the condoms he bought himself a few days ago without looking too much in embarrassment, that he asked one of the people who worked there for help...

She gave a much smaller number than he could use. He could have complained, of course, if he'd had the face for it.

In the end they didn't do much. Wei WuXian laughed and said that Jiang FengMian might have misunderstood, so he tripped over his own feet and flirted with Lan WangJi to convince him to have lunch while they saw a documentary about bunnies.

Lan WangJi grabbed the condons without Wei WuXian noticing.

When Jiang FengMian came back, the two of them were cuddling together on the sofa. Secretly hoping his couch was clean, he woke the young couple and sat down in the armchair.

Jiang FengMian, "I think we should talk about this."

It was awful!

Uncle Jiang congratulated the two on their courtship, what was nice, but then looked at Lan WangJi and asked him to take good care of Wei Ying.

Lan WangJi responded to that request just as seriously, and Wei WuXian wanted to dig a hole and hide. Wei WuXian asked if Jiang FengMian could not say anything about it, what he agreed.

But it got worse!!

Uncle Jiang began an uncomfortable sex lesson, accidentally quoting contraceptives. He certainly expected to have this conversation with Wei Ying and his girlfriend, not Wei Ying and his innocent boyfriend.

When it was over, Lan WangJi thanked Jiang FengMian for the advice, who looked very pleased with himself after that conversation.

He would certainly do better with his own children when they had the talk.

Outside, the two stopped in front of the gate, hand in hand.

"..."

"..."

Wei WuXian, even in that situation, needed to be ridiculous, "Don't worry, Lan Zhan, I'll take care to not get pregnant."

"Wei Ying!"

Wei WuXian's laughter filled Lan WangJi's reddened ears.

[chimivx]

TASTE. -> 'Haven' from the POV of Hyunjin. (Part Three of Six)

summary: 'It was the most free I’ve felt in ages, it was liberating, and it was because of Felix. He wanted to get to know me, for me. He wanted to listen to me, to listen to me. He was genuine, and he cared.'

word count: 9k

warnings: 18+, infidelity themes all throughout, toxic friendships/relationships, sexual content, alcohol abuse, struggles with mental health themes, cursing, if I missed anything PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

a/n: Part Three, oh my god. These people are still a mess. I was hoping this part would've accelerated us faster in the story, but I am unfortunately really enjoying this journey. Enjoy this, and please leave me your thoughts! YES, I had to name the female MC. If she has your name, congrats!

Sliding out from beneath the Ford I had been stuck under for half an hour, I sat up and drug my palm over my forehead without a doubt smudging some grease where I was hoping to wipe away sweat. It was two o’clock in the afternoon and already boiling hot. It was just me, myself and I in the garage today, as per usual, so I opened every tiny window and left the workshop door open, along with the door to our office.

Blink-182 was blasting from the radio, the volume nearly maxed out in an attempt to drown out any lingering thoughts that hung around my subconscious. These were the days I longed for. Days alone were peaceful, and quiet, aside from the music, and I could keep to myself, get my shit done, and not fuck anything, or anyone, up. 

I knew cars better than people, I could fix them faster, too. Though, most times I drug my work out over a couple of days only because I enjoyed it that much.

It was almost like my brain could shut off when I was focused on work. I could do it with my eyes closed. And come to think of it, I actually have, on a dare, and I still repaired everything perfectly.

The two other guys that work in the garage with me, one of them the owner, both didn’t think I could do it. A couple of months ago when a BMW was sent our way with a screwed up starter motor, completely dead, the two of them grumbled over the task while I boasted about being able to replace it with my eyes shut. Neither believed me, so naturally beers were cracked open that night, we spent some extra hours in the garage, and I replaced the sucker with a bandana tied over my eyes with little help.

Talking about myself always made me uneasy, but if someone were to ask me what secret talents I had, I’d for sure brag about that. One of the sparse moments where I actually felt proud of myself.

Slapping a hand to the concrete beneath me I hoist myself to my feet and round the vehicle to get inside of it, being careful to not put my dusty boots on the clean carpet of the sedan. It was a silver Ford Taurus that belonged to a woman in her forties with two boys in intermediate school, so I wasn’t too worried if I left it a little dirty. The backseat gave off obvious signs that two boys around the age of ten occupied that space.

Shoving the key that sat in the cupholder into the ignition, I twisted it, and smiled as the car started. The woman, who’s name was Sharon, or Sherry, just dropped it off this morning with her kids and her husband who drove the three of them away in a pick up truck. Both adults had dropped complaints of other places taking a week to fix their vehicles problem, making them dish out hundreds of dollars for a small problem I took care of in a few hours. They were pleasantly surprised when I told them that it would be done today, and it would cost not even half of what they’ve had to pay before.

Sharon-Sherry almost gave me a hug, I thought the woman was going to fall to her knees. She placed a hand on my shoulder, thanking me a crap ton, babbling on and on about her boys and how they’re soccer players, and she needs the car to get them to practices and games, and her husband’s a cop and works weird hours… I learned a bit too much about her. 

But, the woman cupped my cheek before she walked away to get into her husband's truck and she gave me a genuine smile. A smile that wrapped my heart in comfort. It was a mom's smile.

The comfort broke in half when she called after her boys, beckoning them to get into the truck.

“Shaun! Felix! Let’s go, your coaches are waiting!” she had waved at the boys that were kicking around the gravel rocks in front of the office door.

With a gulp I had taken a quick glance around the lot before I questioned her. “Felix?” 

“My youngest,” she turned to me with a proud smile. “He and Shaun are a year apart. You never hear that name around here, do ya? Felix.” 

At that moment I had wondered if she’d noticed my pale skin go even ghostlier. I had shaken my head and cleared my throat.

“No,” I answered. “It’s… one of a kind.”

Sharon-Sherry agreed with me, then continued on to her children, ushering them into their fathers running truck, making sure they were buckled before she jumped up into the passenger seat.

The happy family drove away, leaving me with their Ford and a pin in my heart.

A quiet day alone, lost in my work without haunting thoughts was what I wanted, and I almost had it.

Sitting back in Sharon-Sherry’s seat with my boots still hanging out of the door, I rest my head against the cushion and take a deep breath. I may have had the radio blasting, I may have been elbow deep in bolts and grease, I may have been on auto-pilot for three hours, but I couldn’t get those big brown eyes outta my head.

Even prior to his name being spoken he infected my mind.

Last night should’ve been a blur. It should’ve been a drunken blur, a second thought this morning when I rolled out of bed and got myself ready for work while Jade slept soundly between the sheets. Instead, it was the very first thing I thought of. Felix.

If he wasn’t such a nice person it would’ve pissed me off more than it kind of already did. I couldn’t be mad at him. He didn’t do anything wrong. It was my own screwed up brain that forced this shit upon me, every damn time. Incredibly annoying. 

“Don’t do that,” I grumbled to myself, rubbing the bridge of my nose with my middle finger, closing my eyes tight. “I’m not annoying.” I repeat aloud what Felix had said to me last night.

On top of that, he also told me to talk to Jade. To talk things out with her, actually talk to her. And I didn’t do that. Not yet at least, last night she couldn’t even let me get a word in, but it’s not like I tried.

Regaining consciousness on the kitchen floor yesterday was a wake up call, and the following evening at Haven just added more fuel to the fire. Talking things out with Felix, admitting what I’ve done to someone other than Jade was a bitch slap to the face. Saying it aloud to someone on the outside of the situation really did make me sound clinically insane, and it was embarrassing. On top of the things I was feeling for Felix, the shame from fully realizing what I’ve done and why I’ve done it was suffocating.

I had to break up with Jade. If she wasn’t going to do it first, I had to be the one to break it off. Especially now that I think I’m harboring actual interested feelings for Felix. 

He didn’t want to be one of the others, and I wasn’t about to make him one- as scary as it felt to think about getting involved with somebody else. 

Jade still lingers after everything. Who’s to say Felix would stick around if something happened? He even said it himself last night that he would leave someone if they did to him what I’d already done to Jade.

Regardless, he stuck by my side yesterday. He seemed to care about me even after I let the shit spill. I should really just try to be his friend. I need to try to be his friend, before anything. He wasn’t someone I wanted to hurt.

Then again, Jade was once someone I never wanted to hurt.

“Jinnie?” Jade’s voice called into the garage from the driveway. Popping my eyes open I didn’t even realize I had closed, I sat forward and spotted her through the streaky windshield. I made a mental note to clean Sharon-Sherry’s windows for her before she came back to get her car.

Jade circled the Ford and stood beside the open door. “What’re you doing?” She was dressed for work, she was on the night shift this evening at the restaurant. Her hair was pulled out of her face and her colorful name tag sat to the left of her heart.

“Just… making sure the car started.”

“Your eyes were closed, I thought you fell asleep,” she said, her eyes taking me in up and down, and again. Shaking my head slowly, I start to smile.

“Not exactly,” I said. Turning the car off I dropped the keys into the cupholder and got out of Sharon-Sherry’s seat, taking the top of the door out of Jades hand and into my own so I could close it.

“Okay, good,” Jade nodded, taking a step backward so I could stand on my feet. “You shouldn’t be in here with the cars running, you know that.” Giving her a curious look I brought myself back around the front of the car to lift the hood. Jade followed right behind me.

“I know that,” I sighed, pulling on a few car parts, making sure everything was good to go. This family had to be called as soon as possible. “You know I know that, but I’ve gotta get it out of here somehow.” Leaning against the car with my elbows, I turned to look at her. She was wearing her nervous eyebrows, though she was trying to hide them. She’s made this face every single time I started to bring up a… girl.

“Yeah,” her voice was soft. “I know you know… I just… got worried about you.” Her eyes fell to the motor of the car, glancing around at all the different parts.

“Are you okay?” I asked after a bout of silence between us. The radio was still blaring nonsense. Jade met my gaze and took a quick breath. 

“Yeah, yeah, no, I’m fine,” she shook her head, “I just… Are you okay?”

I stood up straight, resting a hand to the small of my back.

“I’m fine.”

Jade’s eyes begged me to say more, but I didn’t know if I could. Here I was hoping I’d have a little more time at work before I had to go home and try to talk things out with her, but she showed up unannounced. She’s never done this, even back when things were good. Work was separate for us, our own thing.

She waited a couple more seconds for me to say more, but realizing that I wasn’t going to, she rolled her eyes the slightest and dug into the purse she had over her shoulder.

“Here,” she said, handing me a bottle of water that was still kind of cold. I assumed this was her excuse to mask why she had actually come here.

Taking it carefully I gave her a small smile. “Thanks,” I said, and almost inquired why she was being nice to me, or acting funny.

Then she said the words that made my heart stop.

“Felix called.”

Maintaining my composure I cracked the water open and took a long sip, the coolness relieving the heat I’d been baking under. Swooshing the liquid around my mouth for a bit, I swallowed and nodded, slowly. Then I met her gaze.

“What’d he want?” I asked in the most monotonous tone I could’ve ever conjured up. Jade folded her arms over her chest and sighed.

“He… Jinnie, he wanted to know if you were okay,” she said, her eyebrows knotting together. Whispering, she took a step closer to me, “He told me what happened.”

The anxiety I had been suppressing since I saw her face began to bubble up. That was a vague ass sentence.

He told me what happened.

Felix probably told her that I came onto him in the parking lot of Haven. Stupidly drunk, I forced myself upon him and tried to kiss him. He had to tell Jade as soon as humanly possible, to protect her from the lies I would spread. It was nauseating how I couldn’t keep it in my pants, and everyone agreed. It’s me, I’m the problem, and every single one of them knows it.

“He said you had a panic attack,” Jade said, ripping me out of my tomb of a brain. “You haven’t had one… in forever.”

The breath I took was painful, but full of utmost relief. Out of all of the things Felix could’ve shared with Jade, I’m not excited it had to be this, but it was better than the latter.

“Um, yeah,” I mumbled, crinkling the plastic bottle between my dirty fingers. There wasn’t a reason to lie, or to pretend like it didn’t happen. She looked pretty beat up about it so I’m not sure there was much more I could say to make her feel worse. 

Although… I could tell her I’d been having them almost daily…

“Why didn’t you tell me,” she said.

“I didn’t want to ruin your night,” I shrugged.

Jade rolled her eyes. “You wouldn’t ruin my night, why would you think that?”

Shrugging again, I take another gulp of water.

“Stop doing that,” she mimicked my shoulders and swatted a hand toward me, “Talk to me. Why would you think you’d ruin my night if you didn’t feel good?” 

Dropping my arms by my side I pressed my lips together and held in a sigh. Toying with the bottle in front of my chest nervously, I half shrugged, then rolled my head back with a groan.

“I told you I didn’t feel good,” I whispered.

“What?” Jade cocked her head to the side, pointing an ear toward me. Clenching my jaw, I dropped my soft glare to hers.

“I told you. Last night. I didn’t feel good,” I said clearly. Watching the gears shift in her brain behind her gorgeous eyes, I finished the water she brought me and walked away from her to toss it into the garbage just on the inside of the office door. 

When I turned back around I found that she hadn’t moved a muscle. Her eyes were checking me out, though. She loved it when I looked like this.

Last summer I’d do it on purpose. Smear some grease on my forehead, dirty my jeans, rip the neck of my t-shirt just a bit so that when she got her teeth on it she’d be able to tear it right off of me. I truly, honestly, don’t know what it is about girls finding guys attractive when they’re an absolute mess.

I’d come home sweaty, smelling like an old garage with bandages around my fingers, and she was a sucker for it. Personally, I didn’t get it.

“When did you tell me that?” she asked, and I immediately envisioned how she looked beside Chan last night.

“You asked me to dance with you, and I didn’t want to,” I said. She averted her gaze, glancing around the garage that was in disarray. It seemed this discussion was going to go on longer than expected, so I continued my work. Closing the hood of the Ford, I turned on the heels of my boots and started to straighten up the mess I had made.

“Nelly Furtado,” she said quietly. Giving her a look over my shoulder, I huffed a laugh and shook my head. “Oh, c’mon, I love Nelly Furtado.” The smile that danced on her lips convinced me to smile.

“Oh, I know,” I copied her tone, putting a couple of tools into a metal drawer, then I muttered to myself, “Can’t believe that’s what that makes you think of.”

“I was dancing with Chan, right?” 

“Sure were,” I sang, bending over to gather a wrench that laid partially beneath a tire- where I wished to be at the moment.

“Why do you have to say it like that?” her tone took a wicked turn.

Tossing the wrench into the drawer, I spun around with furrowed brows. “…What?”

“You make it sound like I was doing something wrong, like it’s a crime to have fun with my friends.”

Taking a breath, I grumbled, “I never said that.”

“Then, how come, every time Chan gets brought up you get all pissy. You know he’s my best friend, you’ve never been able to accept that. Whenever he’s around…”

I turned it off.

Whichever part of my anatomy was listening to her, I turned it off.

I finished straightening up my work space in the minutes it took for her to tell me off, leaving me with enough time to hear her say, “You don’t even try with Minho anymore.”

I’ve never moved faster, turning myself around to flash her a glare that could kill.

“Don’t I?” I balled my fingers into fists.

“He says you don’t.”

“You saw us last night at the bar, right? We were having a fantastic time,” I sneered. “Didn’t it seem like it?”

Jade, who still had her arms folded, shrugged. “I guess, I dunno, I was a little drunk.”

“Then let me clear it up for you,” I said, taking three steps toward her. “He found me after the panic attack Felix told you all about.” Her eyes show no sign of cracking, she was maintaining her ground. I wasn’t even sure when this became a competition. “Me and Felix were fine, things were good, I was good, and then he came over with his little puppy dog on a leash, and the two of them harassed Felix.” 

If she wasn’t going to question what Minho made me think she was going to question- I was not going to bring it up.

“What they said, the word they used?” I couldn’t imagine what my face looked like. “Felix doesn’t care who knows he’s gay, he told us himself months ago that he’s been out since he was fifteen.”

Jade blinked a couple of times and focused down on the concrete.

“Your friends made a shitty move,” I said, nodding. “There isn’t a person on earth who should use that word. It’s disgusting.” 

“My friends,” she said, looking back up at me.

“Yeah,” I dug. “Your friends. My friends don’t talk to people that way.”

Her lips parted to throw something back at me, but she hesitated and snapped her jaw shut. I knew what she wanted to say. I could see it on her face.

What friends?

“I didn’t know that happened,” she opted to say instead. Folding my hands together I let them dangle in front of my thighs as I leaned backward to rest my body against one of the workbenches.

“Well, it’s not like Felix was just gonna tell anybody he got belittled, was he?”

Jade jabbed a finger toward her heart. “He’s my friend too, Jinnie. They all are. Felix is too nice, he’s not going to start something for no reason.”

My temper almost snapped. “No reason? They fucking called him-”

“Don’t yell at me! I’m not the one who said it,” her own anger shone in her eyes, much like mine. “God, we can’t even have one conversation without you screaming.”

“Without- are you kidding?” I sighed heavily, a sadistic smile appearing on my lips. “If you listened to me I wouldn’t have to do that.”

Jade snickered and shook her head. “And what am I supposed to do with…” her voice trailed off as she dropped her arms to her side and slouched over a bit. With her voice flat as can be, shot me an empty look to groan, “This.” She stood up and adjusted her posture. “So annoying.”

My heart twisted. It twisted until I thought I was going to go dizzy and fall to the dusty ground of this garage.

“Yet you’re still with me,” I muttered as loud as I could. Her expression went wild. There were a few seconds of silence. I thought it had happened, that this was the break up. It was extremely unclear what this entire discussion had done, but one thing was for sure, neither of us knew how to fix it.

“Felix mentioned he’s free tonight if you want to hang out at Haven,” Jade said quickly. “So you don’t have to be alone, and so he can… check in with you about yesterday.” 

The sudden switch in subjects made it obvious that Jade didn’t have anything else to say. That, or she didn’t want to follow my comment up with a single thought of her own. 

And that was what I was dying for most.

The anger boiling beneath my skin calmed like crazy at the mention of Felix and his invitation, but it was weird to feel excited about seeing him while standing here in front of Jade.

If I was going to be his friend though, it was normal. This was normal. Two friends going out for a drink to catch up, to hang out, to chill. That’s what people did with one another.

Jade’s mask slipped for half of a second as she watched me ponder over the invite, and I knew I could tell that she was worried.

“I had no idea you two were that close,” she said. Shrugging in response, not to purposely annoy her, I folded my arms over my torso.

“It’s probably just because of last night,” I said. “He’s- You know what he does for work… right?” 

“I do,” Jade nearly snapped. She took in my quiet being for a minute before she said, “Have fun, I guess.” She started to walk out of the garage, taking her time, letting her feet drag over the ground like she had more to say. “Don’t drink too much,” she mumbled.

Popping my brows, I said, “Don’t have to worry about that, Felix is a good boy.” Jade glanced back at me fast, pausing her stroll.

“Right,” she narrowed her eyes.

“No, I mean it,” I said. “He didn’t even drink last night. If it’s just us I don’t know if I’ll even have one.” The derogatory chuckle that slipped past her lips made me sick.

“Okay,” was all she said before leaving me alone in the garage, either heading to work early or stopping by Chans for a while to complain about me.

I didn’t have much brain power left to process what had just happened, so instead of letting it bug me I decided to push it aside and bring it up later with Felix. I knew he was going to ask about it, he could probably help me decipher whether or not this relationship could be patched up- if I ask him as a friend.

Turning the radio off I snatch a towel from the workbench to pat down my forehead to my neck, and sling it around my shoulders as I take myself into the office and sit back in one of the black leather swiveling chairs. There were two in this single roomed building, black leather chairs from my boss's old home that his wife wanted to get rid of. This entire room was full of things he wasn’t allowed to keep anywhere else. Old baseball photos were on the wall and his desk, knick knacks of all sorts from trips and kids projects littered the shelves… It was homey in the best way.

Taking a breath in the cool air, I sit quietly for a couple of minutes and let my brain go blank. No thoughts of Jade, no thoughts of Haven, no thoughts of break ups, but a tiny, miniscule thought lingered behind. A thought that made me consider calling Felix instead of Sharon-Sherry first, just to tell him that I’d meet him at the bar tonight.

Snatching the phone off the set I press it to my ear, the flat dial tone buzzing without end. Staring down at the numbers, I hesitated, then huffed a laugh. I didn’t know his number by heart. I’d have to wait until Sharon-Sherry picked up her car to call him from home. Gathering the appropriate paperwork, I gave the woman a ring and told her the Ford was ready, acquiring another sweet set of words from her motherly instincts. It’s as if she could tell I grew up without one.

The family showed up within the hour, all four of them pulling up in the husbands pick up that desperately needed new tires, but I figured I’d let them come to me when they were ready. Already complaining about other companies' prices prior to their appointment with me, they didn’t need another expense right this second.

Their sons tumbled out of the backseat in their soccer jerseys with dirty knees and disheveled hair, trailing directly behind their mother like little ducks in a row. They hurried to the car and peeked around at it, babbling questions to me, asking me how I fixed it and what I had done. 

Sharon-Sherry, who was actually Shelley, was talking over them as any mother would and took care of her bill with another soft smile. She thanked me for cleaning the windows that I had done while I waited for them to arrive, cupped my cheek one last time, and ushered her children into the vehicle.

The youngest, Felix, turned around to look at me where I stood in the doorway of the office, propped against the doorway on my shoulder. He smiled wide, missing a front tooth, waved, and said, “Thank you for helping my mom!”

Children were strange little beings. I didn’t exactly hate them, but I didn’t love them. This one, however, with chubby cheeks and a red Gatorade stain on his upper lip- this one was adorable. He got me to smile, and he even got a small wave in return.

Jumping up into the Ford, the boy reached to shut the door with two of his hands and buckled his seatbelt once he was settled. Listening to his mother as she spoke to the two of them, Shelley started the car and didn’t give me another look. Felix did, though. As his mother pulled out of the garage, he smiled at me until his little head couldn’t turn any further.

Shelley seemed like a good mom. I guess kids weren’t all that bad, it just mattered who was raising them.

Closing up shop, I left the paystub on my boss’s desk and clocked out, locking the office door on the front of the building. Leaving through the one that took me into the garage, I locked it as well and gathered my things from the shelf above one of the toolboxes, shoving my wallet deep into my back pocket.

It took me fifteen minutes total to get home after I pulled the garage shut. Taking my time once I got to my building, for no other reason than to possibly avoid Jade, I unlocked my apartment door quietly. Stepping inside into the air conditioning and closed curtains, nobody was home. I was unsure why it irked me though, Jade not being here. It’s not like after the argument we had she’d be here waiting for me, so why was I expecting her to be?

Over by the phone there was a small piece of paper with Felix’s name written on it followed by a number, in Jades handwriting. The tiny smiley face below it that she had drawn must’ve been an attempt to lessen the blow after coming to confront me at work. She was meticulous, she knew I’d come home and see it, she knew we were going to have a blown out of proportion conversation because that's how we rolled.

If she was out for the night, then so be it. I was too.

Dialing his number I waited with baited breath for the thick Aussie accent to bless my ears, and when it did swiftly, and deeply, I smiled bigger than I had all day.

“Hello?” Was all he had to say to flood my chest with warmth.

“Hi,” I began, twisting the phone cord around my finger. “I, uh, got your message.” 

“Hyunjin,” it seemed Felix sighed. “Hey, how are you?”

“Fine,” my shoulders wanted to live beside my ears today. “Just got home from work, I need a shower.” A gentle laugh rumbled through the line from his end and I wanted to claw my fingers in my hair.

“Busy day?” Felix asked. Leaning my back against the counter top, the phone cord wrapped around my torso, stretching with me as I spun around.

“Not really,” I said. “Today was easy, only one appointment.”

“Was it something crazy?” It sounded like Felix had just woken up. Either that or he was really comfortable, relaxed. His voice was twice as deep as usual.

“Not at all, typical maintenance stuff I guess,” I said. “The lady was nice. She had a kid that had your name. He was a trip.” Nibbling my bottom lip, I smiled even wider hearing another laugh come through the phone.

“He’s a bad kid?”

Shaking my head as if he could see me before I answered, I said, “No. Not at all. He was respectful.”

“That’s really sweet,” Felix said. I could tell he was smiling too.

“I met him before I fixed up their car,” I said, then my voice dropped several decibel’s. “Made me think of you.”

Felix took a deep breath, I could hear it. There's a slight rustling around on his side, like he was sitting up, or laying down, either one, before he said, “I was thinking about you too.” 

“Hope you didn’t hurt yourself in the process,” I joked, and he scoffed straight away.

“Don’t you dare start self-deprecating already,” he laughed again. 

I couldn’t help but laugh with him. “Sorry, it’s a habit I guess.” 

“Enough of it,” he said. “You sound like you’re having a much better day than yesterday, don’t sabotage it.”

Bobbing my head, I pressed my lips together. “Does it sound terrible if I say that’s because I spent most of the day alone?”

His end is quiet for longer than before, Felix pondering over what I’ve said. It did sound terrible to say that aloud, and the more time between him saying things made it worse.

“No,” he finally spoke, and I released a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. “I mean, maybe, but… You know when you feel your best, it’s okay to chase that feeling, you should chase that feeling.”

“Great, so I’ll see you at seven?” I sighed quickly, catching him right at the end of his sentence. Felix is silent once more.

“Yeah,” he nearly whispered. “I’ll see you at seven. Enjoy your shower.” We both laughed together before muttering quiet goodbyes. 

The call made me feel good. I was going to chase that feeling.

A few minutes past seven I tiptoed into Haven. There weren’t any recognizable cars in the parking lot so it seemed like I was in the clear, even though I was meeting Felix here as a friend. Anxiety holed up in my chest below my heart on the drive over here. Running into other people who are considered my friends wasn’t on the to do list for the evening, and I wasn’t prepared to deal with it.

Yanking the heavy door open, another thing I wanted to change about this place, I walked straight over to the bar without a single glance anywhere else. I beelined for a stool, I almost ran. With a deep breath I rested my elbow on the wood and placed my chin on my fist. 

The music was loud and made me cringe, and the people nose to nose that occupied every square inch of the concrete floor were speaking at a volume that had them yelling at one another. Amazing Haven.

A familiar face greets me from behind the bar, her curly blonde hair pulled back into a twisted bun tonight instead of dangling at her shoulders. With a smile she leaned forward and pointed behind me.

“Are you supposed to be over there?” Dina asked cheekily, giggling as I whipped my head to follow her direction. Felix was sitting at one of the high top tables in the back corner with his legs crossed and his thumb nail between his teeth.

His blonde hair wasn’t styled, it was unruly and free, just brushing his eyelashes and the nape of his neck. Around his neck he wore a skinny silver chain that hugged his skin snuggly, complimenting the pastel blue t-shirt he was wearing. As my eyes drew further down his body, my breath hitched within my throat. The shirt was cropped at the bottom, resting above the waist of his jeans, and with the way he was sitting with his legs crossed, one side had risen exposing the smallest sliver of sun kissed skin.

“He got here a few minutes ago,” Dina said, popping her brows when I looked at her. “Wandered in here with his eyes all big. I was wondering who he was looking for ‘cause none of your other friends are here.” She smirked. “Now it makes sense.”

Clearing my throat, I tucked my dark, clean hair behind my ear and shifted on the stool awkwardly. “You got to know us pretty fast.”

Dina shrugged. “Yeah, well, Minho works here. He talks about you guys all the time.”

Rolling my eyes I muttered, “I’m sure he does.” Glancing at Felix who hadn’t spotted me yet, his eyes were drawn to the people dancing in the middle of the room, I spun back around and leaned toward Dina. “Can I get a water… and a Sprite.”

“Water and a Sprite,” she smiled. “Go sit with your boyfriend, I’ll bring it back to you.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I said quickly and quietly, my eyes probably ogling out of my head. That would’ve been a fun one for her to tell Minho. Peeking at whoever was beside me, praying it wasn’t a muscley man, I asked, “Why would you even think that?” My stomach flopped. Dina nodded her head slow, letting her eyes draw from Felix to me.

She whispered, “I’m gay.” 

“Oh,” I sighed. Relief rushed through my veins. There was something comforting about her telling me this, having only known me for about twenty four hours.

“I could feel it between you two,” she said. “Friends don’t giggle at each other the way you two were gigglin’ at each other, dude. Plus, everytime you look at him you stink the place up with your fuckin’ pheramones like a lady in-”

“Okay!” I laughed, slapping a hand on the wood to cut her off. Dina grins, proud. Dropping my gaze to the bar, I released a breath and slouched a bit. 

“I won’t say anything,” she said, making me look up at her. The look on her face read understanding, and safety. “I heard Han and Minho last night, what they were saying. I’m actually a little disappointed ‘cause I thought Minho was cool.”

Another roll of my eyes was a satisfying response to her.

“I get it,” she said. “That’s what I mean. And I’m hoping this place doesn’t turn into a homophobe sanctuary.” She laughed at herself. “You’re safe with me. Now, go. You look happy when you talk to him.”

I followed her instruction and stood up, facing the back of the bar with my lips pressed together. Waiting for only a few seconds, I took a deep breath and started for Felix. Felix who looked really pretty. Glancing down to myself and my dark clothes I only hoped that he wouldn’t judge what I was wearing, it seemed he always knew how to dress himself, I didn’t want to look like a schlub next to him. 

His sharp jaw was clenched, pointed directed toward the dance floor, he barely noticed me walking toward him until I was a few feet away. Shooting me a look with wide eyes, he broke out into a small smile and sat forward, his arms still folded over his chest.

“Hi,” he said, watching me as I sat down in the chair across from him. The round table put about two feet of space between us.

“Hey,” I said, sitting backward, smiling at him. He didn’t respond right away, instead his gaze was fixated on mine, then it danced around my appearance, probably analyzing me, or whatever his therapist brain was trained to do. The smile was still on his face though, despite him studying my energy.

“How was your shower?” he teased, laying his hands on the table.

Shaking my head, I laughed. “Was fantastic, thanks for asking.”

“Of course,” he said. “I’m glad it was fantastic, you deserve it.”

If anyone was looking, if there was a single soul watching us, I’m positive our cheesy grins were insufferable. Neither of us had stopped.

“Did you work today?” I asked. His brown eyes softened as he shook his head.

“Not today,” he said. “I get off on Thursdays, but I’ll be there all day tomorrow.”

“Thursday’s your only day off?” I asked, my smile dropping finally, pulling into a frown.

Felix shook his head. “During the week it is, I still have weekends.” 

Dina approached our table with two glasses in one hand and two shots in the other, making Felix question me with his brows. “Here we go boys,” she said happily. Then, with a wink to us both she said, “Enjoy. This rounds on me, but, shift change.” She gestured toward the bar. “I’ll see you guys again.”

Felix had the view of her walking away, and once she was out of ear shot he flashed me a grin. “What is this?”

Picking up the shot she had placed in front of me, I smelled it and huffed a laugh. “I only ordered the drinks, I didn’t know she was gonna do this.” Tipping the shot glass toward him I shrugged. “You don’t have to drink it.”

“Is this what I think it is?” he asked, taking a sip of the soda out of the straw. To his delight, he smacked his lips once and laughed aloud, swatting one of my hands. “You’re so funny.” Nibbling my bottom lip I glanced at my lap and blushed, smiling entirely too big.

“I had to,” I said. “You love it.” Our eyes met as he took another sip and nodded.

Placing the glass on the table, Felix said, “I’m flattered you remember.”

“It was only last night,” I shrugged, furrowing my brows the slightest.

“Yeah, but, you were drinking,” he said, his tone calm enough that it didn’t disrupt my nervous system. “Things get a little blurry.”

“Something like that,” I agreed, bobbing my head. Felix gave me a soft smile, then took both shot glasses in his hands and insisted I take it. “What?” I questioned, raising a brow.

“Let’s do it,” he said. Cupping the little glass, I dropped my chin just enough to eye him curiously. “I’m serious!”

“You don’t have to.” My tentative tone made him pout. Now my nervous system has jolted. Those big eyes and squished lips were dangerous. I’ve never had so many butterflies in my stomach at once. “You work tomorrow, and it’s just us here, we don’t need to drink, I mean.”

A foot of his stretches underneath the table to tap one of my ankles. “You really are funny,” he said. “I can handle a shot, Hyunjin.” I retaliate and tap his ankle next, but with both of my feet to trap it.

“I just wanted to make sure,” I said, letting my voice lilt playfully. Sitting forward to rest my chest against the table, I squeeze his ankle between my feet and tug it toward me. His entire chair moved beneath him, the legs scooting closer to the table, closer to me.

“Oh my god!” he laughed, gripping the edge of the wood. Letting his leg go free, placing mine on the rungs of the chair below, I held the shot up toward him and smirked. Felix copied me, a shit eating smirk appearing on his lips as he held the shot out.

Under the table his foot found mine again, but this time it danced up my shin as he re-crossed his own legs, letting his foot rest against the inside of my knee. Perking a brow, he tapped the rim of his glass to mine and knocked it back without a cringe to my amazement. Someone doing a shot shouldn’t be as hot as that was.

He put the glass down and licked his lips, dragging his thumb over the bottom one all while keeping his eyes locked on mine. My parted lips gave me away, and he laughed.

“C’mon,” he mumbled, taking the glass from me. Watching him move, he pressed the glass to my lips and tipped it backward, my body following the unspoken directions, tilting my chin back so the vodka could go right down my throat. He didn’t have to say a word, my body reacted to him in an instant.

I swallowed and looked at him. We were both shocked by what had just happened, his hands were frozen in front of me holding an empty shot glass.

Last night Felix told me he didn’t do cheaters. Last night Felix stopped me from making a mistake by kissing him. I hadn’t told him a lick of what has happened with Jade since then, and here he was dangling his foot between my knees and caressing my chin with his fingers feeding me a shot of alcohol.

It must’ve been a collective realization because he quickly pulled his leg back, shifting sideways in his chair to lean against the back of it, putting more space between us. His ring filled fingers were folded and placed in his lap where I couldn’t reach them.

“Sorry,” he said with a single nod. I still hadn’t moved, I was leaning over the wood.

“S’okay,” I laughed. “You got me back for yesterday.”

Felix closed his eyes for a moment to laugh with me. “So, what? We’re even now?” he asked, flashing me a look.

Pursing my lips, I nodded. “Yeah, we’re even.”

“So, we can start over?” he asked. Cocking my head sideways, I narrowed my eyes. “Last night, and… now. We can start over. It never happened.”

“Oh,” I sighed. What an interesting concept, starting over. If it was possible for Felix, I’m sure it’d be possible for me as well. “Yeah, we can start over.” The smile that took over his plush lips made me melt.

“So, Hyunjin,” Felix started, resting his arms on the table, leaning toward me once again. “What do you do for work?” The playful, sarcastic interest in his eyes made me laugh. This was going to be too much fun.

An hour or so passed and the two of us had talked about absolutely everything. Felix heard about work, and I heard about his, and after the jokes had dissipated things got a little more serious and I brought up Jade and what had happened earlier today in the garage. Not a detail was spared, he heard it all. For some reason, around Felix, no matter what we were discussing, I was unable to hide anything.

He told me about their phone call, and he apologized for telling Jade about my panic attack, but he assumed that she and I would’ve talked when we had gotten home. I told him what happened instead, leaving out the part where he was on my mind.

Okay, maybe I was able to hide something from him. This was still brand new, and I wanted him to be a friend, and we technically just started over, so I didn’t want to ruin anything.

Another hour after that we were discussing our families, and I found out that he was a middle child sandwiched between sisters who lived in Australia together. His entire family moved out here a couple of years ago because of his father and work, but once his eldest sister was of age she moved back home with the youngest of the three. By that time Felix had been close to graduating and was already working where he’s currently employed, so he decided to stay.

Discussing my family wasn’t on my list of favorite things to do, so when the conversation shifted over to myself I attempted to ask him more about his. Felix, directly beside me, having switched seats at some point within the night, shook his head and insisted that I tell him about my life, that he wanted to hear about it.

A part of me didn’t want to because of the therapist within him, but then again the other part of me had never been asked about myself on this level of depth. Nor had anyone ever wanted to listen, or wanted to know.

It came out slow, and he hung onto every word, keeping quiet, letting me tell my story the way that I wanted to. He didn’t interrupt, even to ask why. The slight raise in brows in the center of his forehead was enough to keep me going, to keep me talking. Even when I brought up what high school was like with my drunk of a father, how he’d stopped caring long before I even went in, and I had to hold the four years together on my own, and that was when I had started drinking myself… Felix took my arm in his hand and caressed the muscle with his thumb, his gaze holding an ocean of empathy for me.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, inches away from me.

With a shrug I said, “It’s okay. That’s over now.”

“When was the last time you spoke to him?” Felix asked, squeezing my arm for support.

“The truth?” I questioned, and he nodded. “When I graduated from school. High school.” The way his face screwed up in pain as if he was the one to go through what I had hurt my heart. This empathetic creature had a big storm coming if he wanted to keep me close. “I moved in with Changbin as soon as possible, then we went to college together.”

“How’d you get through school?” he asked. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

I shifted closer to him, letting my shoulder rest against his. “No, it’s fine,” I said. “I, uh, reached out to my family when I wanted to go, while I was still in my senior year, and my grandfather- My moms dad. He helped me some of the way. I think in some ways I thank my mom, like she was looking out for me, or something, I dunno it probably sounds cheesy. I ended up getting a scholarship ‘cause I’m pretty good at school believe it or not. Think I get that from her, ‘cause I sure don’t get it from my dad.”

Felix was focused on my lips while I spoke, and his body weight was falling into mine like he couldn’t get close enough.

“That’s beautiful,” he said quietly, and I looked over at him. Our noses were inches apart. “She gave you a part of her to keep.” I smiled.

“I got her face, too,” I joked, wiggling my brows. “I look just like her.”

Felix smiled, eyes studying my features. “She must’ve been positively stunning.” 

“She was,” I whispered. “She was kind, too. And she loved to sing.” Felix took one of my hands in his, for comfort, unsure of how this was going to make me feel. Talking about my mother was hard, but around Felix it came easy.

“Do you like to sing?” he asked, the corners of his lips perking up. My eyes went wide as I shook my head.

“I’m not very good,” I half-groaned, making him laugh his beautiful laugh.

“When do you ever get the chance to?” he drew on. “I’m sure you’re good, don’t doubt yourself.” His fingers messed around with mine.

“If I'm in the garage alone, maybe I will,” I said. “Or, if I’m driving alone, maybe.”

“So no one’s ever heard you sing?” Felix squinted mischievously.

I smiled. “I try not to make unnecessary noise.” He laughs again, his head falling to my shoulder as the sound blesses my ears. “I’m serious!” I exclaimed. “Did I not just tell you about my dad? You think he wanted me to be singing around our house?!” The more things I said, the harder he laughed, but I knew he wasn’t laughing at me. “The guy passed out at two in the afternoon, I’m sure he would’ve loved being awoken by me belting Celine Dion when I got home from grade school.”

“Oh god, you’re gonna kill me!” Felix wrapped his arm that wasn’t occupied by my hand around his stomach, taking deep breaths to calm himself. Still face down on my shoulder, the laughter started up again as soon as it stopped.

“Now what?” I giggled with him.

“I’m sorry,” he sucked in a breath, “I can just imagine you as a kid scream singing in the shower or something, I just-” Lifting his head, there were tears rimming his eyes, and the sight was enough to make me lose it. Slapping the table a few times, Felix tips his head backward and screeches, “ANNND I-”

Several heads turn, unappreciative of the spontaneous display of Whitney Houston from the Aussie. With a cackle, I reach my other arm across him and pull him into my chest to shut him up. “I could’ve been Celine Dion herself, these people don’t know talent,” Felix said quickly between laughs and gulps of air.

My eyes shot open wide. “Who?!” Felix twists his brows and tilts his head. “Celine Dion? What? Who sings that song?”

“Whitney Houston!?” I cried, rocking us back and forth as we laughed even harder.

“I don’t know my women,” he said, sitting up in my arms to wipe the tears out of his eyes. My arms fell around his back, above his waist. The cropped shirt he was wearing had moved amongst the laughter, so my hands were barely touching the bare skin of his hips. 

“I don’t expect you to,” I said softly, teasingly. Felix dropped his hands into my lap and sighed with a goofy grin, his head lulling to the right.

As chaos ensued within Haven around us, the air between us fell still, and quiet. It wasn’t awkward, if anything it felt right, like this was where we were supposed to be- making fools out of ourselves when neither of us were drunk, not giving a shit about what people thought of us. It was the most free I’ve felt in ages, it was liberating, and it was because of Felix. He wanted to get to know me, for me. He wanted to listen to me, to listen to me. He was genuine, and he cared.

And the way his eyes shifted in this moment gave me a scare. A small one. I knew mine had changed as well, so it should’ve been no surprise. The strength in our gazes was incredibly magnetic, that once the world got dizzy, our foreheads touched, and I was looking down at him, feeling my heart flutter at the way he gazed up through his long lashes.

A hand slid up behind my neck, Felix’s fingers tangling in the hair on the nape of my neck, his nails on my scalp sending a shiver down my spine. Lips parted, he smiled, and his big eyes closed, as did mine. 

I could’ve flatlined right then and there.

He kissed me. He, Felix, kissed me.

It wasn’t a chaste, delicate kiss either. Felix kissed me in a way that rendered me thoughtless, like he’d been waiting years for this. His fingers tightened in my hair, keeping me close. Resting my hands on his back, I slid them up his shirt and pressed my fingers into his muscle, sighing within the kiss. He was tiny, but he was strong, I could literally feel it.

Between shared air and more kisses, his fingers twirled my hair around, messing with it to his heart's content. His rings nudged my scalp, the coolness of the metal adding to the comforting sensation.

And it was over before I knew it. Felix’s hand slipped down to my shoulder as he pulled away, sitting backward to look at me. I couldn’t read his expression, it was a mix of lust and uncertainty. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Taking my hands from around his back to his knees, I lowered my brows and shook my head.

“It’s okay,” I said. “I loved that.”

Felix pressed his lips together sheepishly. “Me too. I thought about that all night last night.”

Releasing a breath, I half laughed. “I thought about you all night last night.” Felix narrowed his eyes, remembering what I told him I did last night. “And I mean, all night.”

He took a deep breath. “What do you say, we have a drink, just one, then we can go? I work early, and this place is starting to give me a headache, anyway.” I accepted this as his acknowledgement, and smiled.

“I’d love one,” I said.

“Perfect,” he sighed, jumping out of the chair. “I’ll go, you stay here. Don’t run away on me.” He signaled to me and his eyes with two of his fingers and waltzed towards the bar without saying anything else.

Turning to face the table completely, straightening my posture out, I sat backward and scanned my surroundings, not realizing the place had filled up entirely while Felix and I had sat here for hours. Thursdays were popular, I guess, but then again, like always, this place was always full. Crossing my arms, I watched the people dance to the music and it didn’t make me want to vomit. For some reason, tonight it was tolerable.

Felix came back faster than he was gone, empty handed.

Sitting up, I smiled and started to ask, “Hey, do you maybe wanna-”

“Nope,” he said, his tone hushed and rushed. “I think we should go.”

My mouth was still open, mid-question asking, so I opted for a nod. 

“Uh, sure, yeah we can-”

“Minho’s at the bar,” Felix said. Shift change, Dina had told us. I didn’t even put two and two together.

Rage filled my entire being. Tightening my fists, I clenched my jaw just the same.

“What’d he say to you,” I growled.

Felix shook his head. “Nothing, I didn’t even make it up there. I saw him, and he saw me, and the look on his face, I just… He clearly saw me before I saw him, so I don’t know what else he saw.” There was a quiver in Felix’s voice that I had never heard before, it sounded like worry. And I was well aware of what came after worry. And I’ll be damned if it’s Minho who makes Felix feel that way.

“I swear to god,” I grumbled, leaping from my chair with persistence. Seconds away from storming over to the bar, Felix caught me by the arm and held me back. Turning, I looked down at him and his pleading eyes.

“Don’t,” he said firmly. “Let’s just go.”

“But, he-”

“No,” Felix said, giving my arm a squeeze. “We’re leaving. Please.”

His ‘please’ must’ve hit me just right. 

We were out of that bar without a measly second glance at Minho.

I knew some damage had been done. There was no way I was getting out of this one. This time I had a witness.

haven masterlist ✧ talk to me ✧ thank you for reading <3

you do not have permission to copy or translate my works without my consent.

[quietwings-fics]

Don't Wait Up

Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Fandom: Doctor Who Ship: Gen (+MickeyRose) Additional Tags: POV Mickey Smith, Backstory, Canonical Character Death, Light Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study Wordcount: 1,371 Summary:

Mickey Smith has known how to wait his entire life.

Mickey Smith has known how to wait his entire life.

He waited for his dad. Maybe his whole life, he's waited for him, like there was ever a chance of him walking back in through the door again after he finally walked out. Spain wasn't that far away, and there were phone calls, ones he never got to listen in on, where his gran went on with such a fervor yelling and stomping about that he was afraid she'd tear the cord right off the wall. He'd thought he was quiet enough to get away with eavesdropping, since she never berated him for it like she did the muddy heels of his shoes on her coffee table or dirty dishes he was supposed to do the night before. The moments after those phone calls scared him more than any yelling could have, the shaky breaths, the curses under her breath that he'd have gotten soap in his mouth for repeating.

People loved his gran. They never saw her cry. She never let anyone see that.

It wasn't until he was older, moving around her space with the same tip-toes and held breath he did at eight and always, always, getting caught despite that, that he realized she'd known he was listening in. That she'd let him.

That's the last bit of his father he ever got, the barely audible crackle on the other end of a phone. A year on, and not even that anymore.

It feels cruel to say he never waited for his mom. That her death was simply a fact his life revolved around ever after. He mourned her, he missed her, but not for one second did he ever have to wonder if she might come back. There was horrible comfort in the certainty. No one ever really understood that until Rose.

And Rose was-

Rose was everything. Is everything.

Mickey Smith, the idiot who fell in love at sixteen and thought he'd had it all figured out.

He put all his lessons in waiting to good use for her, long before the Doctor dropped out of the sky and snatched her away. First came the allure of Jimmy Stone and all the trouble he brought. Rose dumped Mickey ("But we, I mean, we were never that serious, were we?" while he kept his mouth shut tight.) and ran off, and Mickey took up the spot in the band he left behind. Thank god they never got anyone to tape them, or there'd be evidence out there of him, broken-hearted and wailing on his guitar, jumping to dedicate songs to a special girl he knew would come back one day.

He remembers vividly, one of the last conversations he had with his gran, right after Rose broke it off. He felt like a kid again, all tears and snot, like when he'd hide bad scores or the time he broke his bike. Gran would always stand over him, shake her head, and then pull him to his feet. (He should have noticed how much harder it was getting for her, but no matter how her hands had started to shake or her balance to go, he'd thought her invincible. That she was right when she bragged, "The world's tried to off me too many times. It hasn't won yet.")

"You stupid boy," she'd said. "On your feet, now." Her hands on his shoulders, squeezing tight. "The world doesn't end just because your heart's broken, no matter how much it might feel like it is."

"It's because I'm not good enough," he'd said, and almost regretted it when he watched her face break open the same way it had those nights she hung up on his father. "That's why she left."

"I never said that. No one ever said that." She shook her head again. "I don't know what game Rose is playing at with that boy, but I know this: you're measuring yourself up against a standard you can't meet, because no one could." He'd nodded, and sniffed, and when she hugged him, he broke away promising to do some chores for her to make up for getting her favorite blouse messy.

He wasn't the one to find her body. Her friend did, while he was out with his friends.

That death didn't feel real. That death left him waiting. It took until the funeral for it to sink in that she couldn't come back.

He lost count of how many people came to the funeral. They loved her. In some ways, they loved him.

(Jackie Tyler came to the funeral. It wasn't her sort of crowd, not at all, and she hadn't known Mickey's gran that well besides. Friend of a friend, enough to invite to a wedding, but not enough to visit too often. She came anyway. She told him he'd done alright setting it up, better than alright. Neither of them talked about Rose. There was a hole that she left behind, one they'd both become so familiar with in the years to come, but next to the one his gran had left, for one night, he'd barely noticed it.)

Rose did come back, for whatever that was worth. Five months later and hundreds in debt, her mom throwing fits between hugging her like she'd returned from the dead, and with Mickey on her doorstep, a late Christmas present clutched in his hands. Like the universe had finally decided to start giving instead of taking.

He loved her. Loves her.

And she... He thinks she loves him. Or loved him. That's the worst part.

Because she will always be the first girl he ever loved, his first kiss and first broken heart, and he is always going to be sitting patiently on her doorstep, waiting for her to come back and let him in, never saying a word.

It turned out there was someone who could measure up to that impossible standard. A man in a blue box, with all of time and space at his fingertips.

And who was Mickey to that?

A murder suspect, or kidnapping, depending on how kind the rumors were.

Five months. A whole year. And still, he was waiting.

An alien invasion, or two, or three, or four, and he was still waiting.

Rose was right about him lying about seeing another girl. He did try. But she was out there, and she might come back, any day, any minute, and what if. What if.

He should have gone with her.

And when he finally corrects that mistake, he's not sure what drives it. Too many times left behind? Or is it seeing Sarah Jane Smith, another woman who looks at the Doctor with stars in her eyes, like he is all there is in the world? (Is it seeing her left behind, again? Is it the way he asks and asks, what happened to Jack, wasn't he traveling with you, didn't he look at you the same way she did, Doctor, the same way Rose does, only he was always a little scared of you, too, and God, but I wish sometimes that Rose had even half that glimmer of fear around you.)

If the TARDIS needs a Smith aboard, than he fails to provide, miserably. Third wheel doesn't even begin to cover it. How is he left waiting for a girl who's right in front of him?

And so, finally, in a universe so far from their own, there comes a crossroads, and the thing is, Mickey isn't even the one standing at it. He's fine with that. He's done.

"Go on, then," he says. "There's no choice, is there? You can only chase after one of us. It's never going to be me, is it?"

He knows, because the Doctor will go after her, forever and ever, the same way Mickey would have waited. If that means he wins, so be it. If that means Rose never comes back...

If he waits, and the Doctor fixes everything, and they all go home, then he's never going to get this chance again. And for once, he's going to be the one running.

He knocks on his gran's door, and hopes, and hopes, and hopes.

It opens.

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[cksmart-world]

SMART BOMB

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart

May 7, 2024

TOP 10 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A COP AT A RIOT

10 – Love your outfit, it really brings out your eyes.

9 – Does your mother know you're out late?

8 – Come on man, this is our class project for Poly Sci.

7 – I love it when you talk dirty.

6 – Dude, can you spare a donut.

5 – We're the Rec Department. Check out our new tents.

4 – You know, they have a cure for bad breath.

3 – What's you're favorite position.

2 – Weren't you the guy who kissed Majorie Taylor Greene on the lips.

1 – And the worst thing to say to a cop at a riot: Is that a big stick or are you just glad to see me.

GOV. DeSANTIS BANS LAB MEAT, INTESTINAL FORTITUDE

“We will save our beef,” declared Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis regarding meat grown in laboratories. But saving face, well that's another story. In Florida they like to ban stuff — books, abortions, back bone. The petri dish beef ban comes on the heels of DeSantis' come-to-Jesus meeting with former President Donald Trump, where the governor demonstrated he still has a taste for buttocks — real buttocks, real big buttocks. DeSantis even told supporters he is willing to help fundraise for Trump, when he isn't busy kissing The Donald's hammies. “It’s true that Trump doesn’t forgive easily — but he does love when people show remorse for what he views as disloyalty,” said columnist Hayes Brown. “Especially when that groveling comes with dollar signs attached to it.” DeSantis joins a long list of Republicans who have surrendered to the “Man Who Would Be King:” Sens. Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, Lindsey Graham, Tim Scott... the list goes on and on. Trump makes Republicans do what he wants by threatening and bullying, and those who cross him pay with humiliation — they must praise him as the Second Coming. The only defense is honesty and integrity — oops, looks like the Republicans banned that, too. Bummer.

BIDEN SHOULD SHOOT HIS DOG

If you've been hiding out at the animal shelter you may not know that Kristi Noem, the South Dakota governor who was on the short list to be Donald Trump's V.P., bragged in her new memoir, ”No Going Back,” that she shot her 14-month-old dog, Cricket, because he wasn't any good at pheasant hunting. He also killed some chickens. “I hated that dog,” she wrote. No Wilson, we are not making this up. She caught a bunch of grief from the liberal lame-stream media with such headlines as: “Noem shoots dog, commits political suicide.” Kinda catchy. So the ranch-girl governor doubled down on CBS's “Face the Nation,” saying President Joe Biden's dog should be shot, too, for biting Secret Service agents. He then could meet her puppy in Dog Heaven: “Commander, say hello to Cricket for me.” Haha. What a sense of humor. Some pundits suggest she included the ugly scene in her book to impress Trump with her toughness. Noem also noted putting down three horses, promising “more real, honest and politically incorrect stories that’ll have the media gasping.” Yes, Wilson, she got that part right. But the puppy-killer gambit may have backfired. Even MAGA celebs Don Jr. and Steve Bannon thought it was a little too base. Praise the lord and pass the ammunition

Post script — That's a wrap for another lovely week here at Smart Bomb where we keep track of who's using public restrooms so you don't have to. Under a new Utah law people can rat out anyone using a restroom that does not reflect their sex at birth (read trans people). They can report violations on the so-called “hotline complaint form.” Offenders could be charged with criminal trespass and fined $10,000 per violation. Continuing with the Big Brother theme: In a Time magazine interview, Donald Trump said he would not prevent states from passing and enforcing laws allowing monitoring of people's pregnancies to make sure no one gets an illegal abortion. The legislation would require pregnant women to submit to regular government exams. And you thought car inspections were intrusive. That brings us to “Abortion Tourism,” the cute expression coined by anti-abortion activists for women having to travel long distances to receive medical care — as if reproductive healthcare is some kind of a luxury vacation. Try and come up with a pithy punchline for that. Ugh.

Young people are protesting on college campuses across the nation. But the authorities don't like it. They say the First Amendment is sacred unless you've got tents. Cops in riot gear break up peaceful protests and say no fee speech when there's violence. So wake up the band, Wilson, and take us out with an anthem for the times:

Oh, where have you been, my blue-eyed son? And where have you been, my darling young one? I've stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains I've walked and I've crawled on six crooked highways I've stepped in the middle of seven sad forests I've been out in front of a dozen dead oceans I've been ten thousand miles in the mouth of a graveyard And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall

Oh, what did you meet, my blue-eyed son? Who did you meet, my darling young one? I met a young child beside a dead pony I met a white man who walked a black dog I met a young woman whose body was burning I met a young girl, she gave me a rainbow I met one man who was wounded in love I met another man who was wounded in hatred And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall

And what'll you do now, my blue-eyed son? And what'll you do now, my darling young one? I'm a-goin' back out 'fore the rain starts a-fallin' I'll walk to the depths of the deepest dark forest Where the people are many and their hands are all empty Where the pellets of poison are flooding their waters Where the home in the valley meets the damp dirty prison And the executioner's face is always well hidden And I'll tell and speak it and think it and breathe it And reflect from the mountain so all souls can see it And I'll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin' But I'll know my song well before I start singin' And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall

(It's A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall — Bob Dylan)

[soul-artist]

My ex besties fam cut ties with my parents and I’m jealous that I can’t do the same. My ex best friends family got close with my family. Eventually, they meshed with our family friends too. Her parents were generous, kind, snarky and very very giving. If there’s one thing you can ever accuse them off, it’ll be vanity. On the other hand, my parents couldn’t be described. They are nightmare in a single package? My dad would brag about giving us “everything we’ve ever touched” so loud as if we didn’t stop “touching and picking” things for the taunts of “I have bought you this”, “that’s so expensive”, “I bought you this, so you better do this for me” that’d eventually come. Emotionally that’s are a solid (minus)-1000000. Couldn’t ever rely on them for anything, we’ve never been shown compassion in this household. They’d VIEW themselves so morally superior to everybody while doing below bare minimum everyday is fucking hilarious. The bestie’s mom would try to connect with her, lash out from lack of understanding like other brown parents, but her redeeming quality was she’d put an effort to understand her daughter AND bring her the help she(daughter) needed. Doing all that, she’d also spoil her daughter with things that her daughter would take interest in, from books to clothes and jewelries, baby her daughter, stand up for her in social settings and cut people off who’d disrespect them (my own sperm donor being one of them). My mom would 24/7 engage in backbiting and gossiping with other people and cry about what other people said about HER to us, like, woman as if you haven’t been doing the same thing about others regarding things that doesn’t even concern you. My sperm donor considers himself as very religiously wise, but partakes in worse habits than my mom. He has arrogance for days with zero actions to match with it- the ultimate hypocrite. Now both of these very damaged, very unwilling-to-heal individuals would have toxic fights all the time since before was born probably that my core childhood memory is just traumas. I still can’t imagine what complete “safe and serene” feels like and its been two decades since I have been here in the world. I would have anxiety from the disrespect and the level of lows one could go to that they have blatantly shown me over the years, I cannot form a single meaningful, friendship with anyone else without fearing that that hates me secretly. I can’t trust anyone’s love, can’t trust anyone’s genuinely good person at heart because I didn’t see it much without any hidden evil intention behind it before my own eyes. One of my friends dad has made her emotionally so strong, after his passing she’s managed to pick herself up AND support her brother who’s a decade older than her while also doing uni full time. One of my other friends mom would pray for her before every single one of her tests, be it be a major one or a minor, before she lefts the house. Many others have a Friday tradition of cooking special dishes. I know that have their downs too, but that have this specific, consistent act of a single good thing that they know they’ll get from their parents. They have that surety of good, that me and my siblings don’t have. Because despite how many times my parents says they are holo in his the world by owing the bills and managing the house, the other parents are doing those too. It’s the fact that what are you doing for our “happiness” rather than keeping us alive.

Hav I mentioned my sperm donor is allergic to happiness? Anytime we’d laugh a bit loud or be excited about something he’d put us down for it, mock it and generally invalidate us by stressing how unimportant, mundane and unnecessary the thing was. He never celebrated our wins( because it was never “good enough”), but made sure to always lament us for our losses. A real sunshine to be around tbh. He’s the foundation that you want to leave as soon as you can, than the one you’d build your home around.

[warderfromtheborder]

I've seen sentiment that boils down to: "I dont like that they eliminated a lot of nebulous and potentially exciting space within the bigger narrative to get to the ending of the Witness the way they are" or even more simply "I don't care for the Witness as an antagonist" and that's a perfectly understandable live-and-let-live complaint. The story is tunnel-visioned on this confrontation now, and it's definitely eating a lot of the narrative oxygen. I hope people who feel this way come back after TFS for whatever the 'episodes' have to offer narratively, because from the TFS reveal, it sounds like they want to swing back toward a focus on weird shit that also happens in this setting aside from the Darkness-related problems.

I've seen sentiment that echoes what you said about people who think the version of the characters living in their heads are the real versions and that the writers are just getting it wrong, and Ive seen this sentiment expressed in really ugly and hurtful ways toward the writers, ways that made me really sad and angry. I think it's really fucking gross to claim that what a fan does with the creators own work is definitely better than what the creator is doing but they'll still stick around just in case any good bits happen to come about. It can't be The Divine Comedy all the time, because it's a goddamn serialized radio drama with extended errata and footnotes and the audience is constantly coming and going and the cast is in the hundreds at this point and the people who MAKE it, the ones who actually WRITE THIS...FOR US, they have a production schedule so tight it makes me clench up harder than starbucks anti-union lawyer just thinking about it.

Telling the chef her food sucks while continuing to eat it and then bragging about the wonderful dishes you'll make inspired by her food, that's not a fan. That's a snob.

The Destiny community is rife with snobs, for every facet of its gameplay. (Except for art direction I think but that could just be exposure bias on my part idk anyway) And also, all the best story franchises are rife with snobs, people who insist they know better than the creators. Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, comics and comics movies. Destiny has made it!

Sometimes the stuff we like is bad, or not as good as we'd hoped it would be. Sometimes the group opinion is just wrong, and they take it out on the creators in ugly ways (jar jar binks is a good example of that).

Dear Anon, keep playing and engaging with the story when you feel like it, and don't let the snobs fool you into hating it when there's not actually anything wrong with it.

Hi Bel,

I keep seeing comments about people complaining about the quality of destiny’s writing and story in the last few weeks. I haven’t really engaged with destiny since season of defiance, what’s currently gotten everyone so riled up? I thought that people were enjoying Season of the Deep/Witch in terms of narrative, why is Season of the Wish causing people to deride the destiny writing staff again?

I don't know!

Deep and Witch have been absolute bangers in every aspect to me. I've been enjoying all interactions and lore tabs we've received. A lot of them are stuff that we've never had before, a lot of reunions and closures, a lot of development and interactions between characters who you wouldn't really think would have much in common.

Sloane's return and healing from what she's been through has been fantastic, Drifter opening up with her to help her because he also got help from others was fantastic, Sloane reuniting with Aisha and Shayura brought me to tears (Shayura's descent into madness was triggered by immense trauma of Sloane staying on Titan and Titan disappearing), everything with Sloane and Zavala...

Witch was just incredible in every single way; the focus on Eris, the amount of Eris and Ikora content!!!!! Everything about Xivu and Savathun and their interactions together!! Eris finally fulfilling her goal she promised Savathun YEARS ago, getting that closure.

Wish so far has been equally great to me. All the new stuff about Ahamkara is amazing, finally giving us proof for long-standing speculation about Ahamkara and how they aren't universally evil creatures and expanding on them as a species. I love all interactions we've had so far; finally we have Petra back, Mara's singleminded focus on figuring out how to defeat the Witness and her continuous work to improve as a person, ALL SJUR MENTIONS!!!!! I won't talk about the "leak" because we have no context for it so I will wait for the full story to be revealed before I can pass judgment; something that I think should be a lesson to learn from this entire year. Maybe wait for the story to finish before judging the story.

Literally everything this past year that involves Osiris, but especially this season now that he's back in his element with the Vex. And of course every little detail we get of him and Saint. Osiris honestly shaped this year for me with everything that he's done to uncover the biggest mysteries. I think a big reason is that a lot of people just don't like Osiris, which I consider a massive skill issue.

Other than that, I don't know what are the issues people have besides just not being interested in any of these storylines and attributing it to a nebulous "bad writing" claim. I also genuinely believe that way too many people get wrapped up too much in fandom, imagine storylines they want to see and then get disappointed when the actual story doesn't go there. Almost like people forget that this isn't their story and these aren't their characters. A lot of it is also fandom completely warping characters into not what they actually are and then feeling like the canon story is the one that's wrong.

Whatever is the reason, I guess everyone is entitled to their perspective of the story and everyone is free to explore the story in different ways through fanfics and AUs and whatever. I do that too!

But I would definitely ask people to be normal with how they engage in criticism, especially in the current state of affairs. Writers are developers; they experience a ton of harassment and negativity from the community and also from inside the company. And they are online: they can see what we're saying. It's been documented that community commentary has been used to harass writers:

Imprint this into your brain and never forget what these people had to go through. Let's not forget also the way people treated Seth Dickinson on social media when he was active with Destiny fans. "Fans" were actively arguing with him about his own work (telling him that HE is wrong) and were utterly disgusting towards him when he tried explaining what he wrote. His works are now hailed as the best writing in Destiny and people want him back. If I were him, I wouldn't want to come back ngl, not with how he was treated and not with how fans are still treating writers (and hey, Seth wrote LF Collector's Edition! So he was back, technically, this year!). Let's not forget that a lot of writers are members of various marginalised groups. And I'd definitely not want to go back with zero support from leadership.

Which is also an important aspect for all developers, including writers: sometimes they have orders they may not like, but can't argue against. They do the best they can with what they're given, the time they have and directions they receive. And with that in mind, I am enjoying everything we've gotten this year, obviously with some specific complaints about things I didn't particularly enjoy (like the universally mid reception of Defiance; I've spoken about my gripes with it before, a big one being the shafting of Suraya who should've at least been mentioned in a lore tab).

I can tell that there is passion in their work, even if maybe they would prefer to do more with it, but can't. Maybe even if they want to take different routes, but can't. But from what we got, I can feel that they care about this world and these characters. I can tell that someone lovingly wrote about Sloane and her friendships with two grieving women. I can tell that they deeply cared about Sloane's friendship with Zavala and that they loved showing us Saint and Drifter caring about a fellow trauma survivor.

I can tell that the writers are immensely careful and loving towards Eris; everything she went through was crafted with love and passion from both writers and her VA. Eris' story is such a fundamental aspect of Destiny and I can tell that this was important to the writing team and that they gave her everything they could to do justice to her character and her arc and her healing and her release from the cycle she was trapped in for so long.

I can tell that there are writers who care a lot about Osiris and Saint and their relationship. I can tell that someone cared a lot about expanding on Ahamkara and giving them more personalities. I can tell that someone cared DEEPLY about Sjur and Mara and that her repeated mentions are the passionate work of writers who want us to remember her.

I could go on. And I know that not everyone sees it this way, which is fine; we all have different ways of perceiving stories. I enjoy discussing things we in the fandom disagree on and I enjoy hearing different perspectives! Unfortunately, this has recently become rarer and rarer. And for the love of god, please try and treat writers with some respect, especially now, especially those who are still working and doing their best with the shitty situation they're in. None of the cries of "poor devs" ring true to me unless the same is given to writers, instead of treating them like punching bags.

[just-jordie-things]

The Crown - Steve Harrington

word count: 4462 warnings: dedicated to @high-functioning-fangirl02 <3

You’d give your life to protect these kids.  

These kids you’ve known since you started babysitting them in the sixth grade.  Back when Mrs Henderson hired you to watch Dustin.  Which essentially meant that you’d watch all of them.  But that was alright, over the past seven years of being their designated babysitter, you’d grown to love them all.

Mike Wheeler, the snarky little love-struck shit that you spent grieving with since losing Eleven.  Lucas Sinclair, the sweet boy with the occasional attitude whom you helped construct his Ghostbusters costume. Will Byers, the full time sweetheart that made you cookies for Valentine’s Day after hearing you complain about being dateless.  And of course Dustin, cute little button nosed Dusty with a trash mouthing tendency, whom looked up to you like a role model.

Hell, you were their role model.  Driving them to and from school, covering for them on late nights so they could finish their D&D tournaments.  Fiercely protecting them a year ago when Hawkins was Demogorgon infested.  Standing up for them when you’d see some upperclassmen picking on them.

Those who dared glance the wrong way towards The Party in your presence, were rumored to run home crying with a bleeding nose and terrified shriek.  You never put down the rumors… because maybe it had happened once or twice…

Over time The Party was no longer just a band of middle schoolers.  It had opened up to their babysitter, being you, a senior girl who had not many other friends.  Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers, which the boys always claimed was strictly because of family relations.  Not because Dustin was still harbouring a crush for Mike’s older sister.  The town Sheriff, Jim Hopper, who’d proved himself not to be an asshole, and turned out an alright guy.  Joyce Byers, whom you loved like a mother and whom treated you like her own daughter.  You’d frequently been titled ‘the daughter she wished to have had’ which always raised a snarky response from her sons.  Maxine (just Max.  Never Maxine) Hargrove, a high spirited and not your typical girl that you grew fond of easily.  Especially since she was nothing like her big brother.

And then there was Steve Harrington.  Who… really just was at the wrong place at the wrong time and ended up getting roped into the mess that Hawkins Lab had created.  King Steve, as you’d known him before you’d officially met last year by fluke accident, was always the popular boy that had a pretty girl hanging off his arm.  You weren’t sure why that changed so quickly, why he didn’t put himself out there as much as he used to, didn’t party hard anymore, wasn’t bragging about the new girl he was with that week like he was known for.  Maybe that day, when he walked into the Wheeler’s house right as you Nancy and Jonathan were awaiting the Demogorgon’s arrival, maybe he changed then.

Or maybe it was after he’d been sucked into… whatever this all was… and he changed to keep the secret.  Or maybe it was after Nancy had broken up with him, around the same time he started growing closer to Dustin.

But right now as you watched him directing the kids, you were more aware that he wasn’t King Steve anymore, that you had been before.  Sure, you’d realized somewhere along the way he was different.  But it wasn’t until now that you noticed it completely as it was.

“No listen you little shits, no one, is going anywhere” Steve ordered, holding a wash rag in his hand and pointing it between each of the boys, and girl, that stood in front of him.

“Friggin’ pointless just staying here” Dustin grumbled, walking out of the room whilst still muttering.  Mike groaned loudly, dramatically, and left to the living room with Max and Lucas.  You knew that he was still plotting you get out there tonight.  Consequences and dangers be damned.

You looked to Steve with a sigh, a lazy smile on your lips as you walked past him to go after Dustin.  He watched you go, letting out a breath as well as he put his hands on his hips and standing alone in the hall with his thoughts.

He’d give his life to protect these kids.

“Dusty?” You called gently as you walked into the kitchen, seeing Dustin sitting on the floor against the dishwasher.  Your brows furrowed as you sat across from him by the cabinets.  “You alright kiddo?”

“Would I be sitting in here brooding if I was?” He quipped, though you knew he meant well.

“Sweetheart you’re too adorable to be a brooder” You laughed softly, pulling your knees up slightly.  “A pouter maybe, but not a brooder”

“Thanks y/n” He responded dryly.  You rolled your eyes in response to his sarcasm.

“Come on kid, open up a little.  It’s me” Your words were soft, which did prompt Dustin to consider explaining to you his thoughts.  “Please? If we make it out of this alive I’ll take you to the arcade.  I’ve got a big jar full of quarters I’ve saved up-”

“Okay okay I’ll take the bribe” Dustin caved with a laugh that made your mood lighten.  “Look it’s gonna sound lame and cheesy but… everyone else is helping.  Jonathan and Nance and Mrs Byers and Hopper and Elle, but what am I doing?”

“You’re staying safe” Your answer came out instantly, but it didn’t seem to be the one the boy was looking for.

“No I’m not, I’m sitting on the sidelines, watching everyone else go be heroes and getting hurt.  I’m not doing a damn thing!”

“Hey” You hummed softly, and scooted over closer to put your head on his shoulder.  “You’re a hero Dustin.  Don’t tell yourself any differently.  All of you are, Mike too, and Lucas, and Max, and-”

“Steve?” Dustin offered, and you nodded, looking at him confusedly by the strange tone of voice he used.

“Of course, why’re you looking at me like that?”

“No reason” Dustin shrugged nonchalantly, brushing off the uncomfortable air between you both.

“Alright well, you should believe me” You continued.  “Even if you don’t think so, you’re all my heroes, got it Henderson?” The boy smiled and nodded, prompting you to push the cap of his hat down playfully before he could get up and leave the room.

“Mike’s probably still planning his attack” He told you, but you shrugged and waved a hand.

“Let him plot and brood” You said, and Dustin’s mouth fell open.

“How come Mike can brood but I can’t?” You rolled your eyes, still waving your hand for him to get out of here.

“Just go plot with him, I know you’re itching to” You said, and he grinned wide at you, glad you were letting him go plan their escape and attack.

“Thanks y/n!” He called, already racing out of the room.  “You’re the best!” You laughed, shaking your head as you stood back up and dusted off the pants of your overalls.  Steve came in a few moments later, watching you almost suspiciously.

“What?” You questioned, and he shrugged, shaking his head.

“Nothing.  Just wondering why you’re permitting them to conspire against us” He said.

“They’re not conspiring, they’re just discussing.  No harm in that”

“Um, every harm in that.  As in all of us, being harmed, because of that” He said, but you didn’t really seem to care what he thought about it.

“They’re fine, we’re all fine, don’t freak out so much mom” You said, walking out towards the kids and seeing them all circled up and discussing their big plan.

“I’m not a mom” Steve argued, and you chuckled, turning to see him, his dish rag on his shoulder, hands on hips.  It only made you laugh more.

“Mhm, alright.  Well then what would you call yourself?” You replied sarcastically, nodding towards his own stance, and making Steve second guess himself.

“This- you-! Alright whatever just stay away from the windows and go be safe somewhere” He muttered, walking into the living room where the kids were.  You rolled your eyes again, but couldn’t help the smile on your lips.

Perhaps, you thought, King Steve was the king of something else now.

You watched as he was waving his rag at the kids again, yelling at them for plotting behind his back, and reminding them that no one was going anywhere.  But even as Dustin pouted, Steve was rubbing his hand over the thirteen year old’s head.  Almost soothingly, like he felt bad for ending their little meeting.

“What a mom” You mumbled, and headed back into the kitchen for something to eat.

You used to resent Steve, back when he was the king of school and didn’t care about anything more than he cared about his popularity and his hair.  Back when he didn’t give a shit about pretty much anything.  And looking at him now and seeing him watch over these kids, you could physically feel your heart swelling.  If that isn’t character development, you weren’t sure what was.

You weren’t sure why it made you feel so bubbly either.

“Listen runts, we’re staying here, we’re staying safe, and we’re not dying!” Steve said, for what felt like the fifth time.  But Mike kept arguing back at him.

“Everyone else is out there!”

“Everyone else knows how to fight all that shit!” Steve retorted.  “We are staying, here” He repeated slowly, waving his rag between each word.  “You got that?”

“You’re just saying that cause y/n’s here.  If she wasn’t here, we’d all be getting in your car and going!” Lucas spoke up.  Your brows furrowed at that.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked, ignoring your search for food and now strutting into the room where everyone else was.  “Am I dragging you down?” You asked, almost sarcastic, but wondering what he’d actually meant by his announcement.  Were you dragging them down?

“No, Steve would just protect your ass over our asses” Max shrugged, and the others nodded.

“What the hell? Everyone here is protecting their own asses, I’m not getting killed for a bunch of kids!” Steve said, making flustered and jerky movements.  You brushed off their newly sprung argument over where Steve’s bat is swinging and who it’s swinging for.

Apparently, The Party was certain that he’d die for you, rather die for them.  But you didn’t care much about what they thought.  They’d always thought that you and Steve were meant to be some power couple, but you supposed it was just cause you were the same age and the kids only ever saw you two together.  There was no real evidence (as far as they showed) towards the ‘chemistry’ you and Steve supposedly had.

You wandered to the window, curiously looking out it with your arms wrapped around yourself.

“Will you just shut up?” Mike’s yelling made you jump a little, and you turned to see your friends all still arguing with each other.  You smiled slightly, meeting Steve’s eyes as he gave you a bored look.  You just laughed a little bit back at him.  Steve’s expression softened into a small smile.  Your face flushed with heat, and you nervously turned away from him to look back out the window again.

A light blinded you almost instantly, making you squint your eyes and put a hand over them to try and clear your vision.

“What the hell?” You muttered, leaning closer to the glass to see what was going on.  Headlights, there was a car here.  Someone was here.  “Steve?” You called, not turning away from the window.  He came over right away, looking outside to see a familiar Camaro parked in the driveway.

“Shit” He grumbled, walking towards the front door.

“What- where are you going? Who is it?” You asked, following quickly after him, but Steve quickly turned to make you stay back.

“Just stay in here-”

“Sinclair!” A voice hollered from outside, and you jumped, eyes widening as you recognized it.  “I know you’re in there!”

“Billy?” You whispered to Steve, who nodded.  You stepped backwards, eyes never leaving Steve’s.  “What’s he doing here?” Your voice was quiet.

Billy Hargrove, was the most vile, horrible person you’d ever met.  And his wicked ways of bending people to his will, shook you intensely to your core.  It was no secret to the others that Billy not only terrified you, but would seductively torture you every day.  Sure, you’d been picked on before, but this was different.  Every day he’d come to you, hoping to get something out of you, just to mess with you.

“Come on babe, a little kiss, just a little one, we can discuss the rest later”

“You don’t want to get a ride home with me and have some fun?”

“When’re you finally gonna give this up and just put out?”

You shuddered slightly, practically feeling his hot breath against your skin just thinking about the things he’s said to you.  Stopping you in the hallways, finding you at your locker, approaching you while you waited at Steve’s car for a ride home.

“I know you’re in there you little pig! Come out here or I’ll have to go in!” His voice was dangerous, threatening.  And you felt a legitimate fear for your life, and the kids’.

“It’s fine, you’re fine, I promise” Steve said quietly, out of earshot of the others.  “All of you stay here, stay away from the windows” He ordered, giving you one last look before you turned and went to The Party.  They needed you right now, all huddled around Lucas and Max to make sure if Billy were to look inside, he wouldn’t see them.

“Come on guys” You said softly, ushering them as far away from the window as you could.  Steve, on the other hand, opened the door and stepped outside.

Instead of hiding in a room, completely out of sight of the maniac, you all ducked under the windowsill to see what was happening.

“Am I dreaming or is that really you Harrington?” You felt your entire body quivering upon hearing Billy’s voice.  Dustin, who was crouched next to you, turned and gave you a worried look, but your eyes were dead set on the outside.

“Yeah it’s me, don’t cream your pants” Steve responded, walking out towards him as he pulled off his leather jacket.

“What’re you doing here amigo?” Billy asked, the cigarette hanging off his lips moving as he spoke.

“I could ask you the same thing” Steve responded, void of emotion.  “Amigo”

“Lookin’ for my step sister.  Little birdie told me she was here”

“Huh, that’s weird I don’t know her” Steve lied easily, and convincingly.  You prayed to God that Billy believed him.

“Small? Redhead?” Billy replied disbelievingly.  “Bit of a bitch?”

“Ashole” Max muttered to herself inside.

“Doesn’t ring a bell, sorry buddy” Steve replied, still not sounding like he cared even an inkling.  Billy nodded, taking out his cigarette.

“You know… I don’t how this, this whole situation Harrington is um.., it’s giving me the heebie jeebies” Billy said, looking at Steve a little more threateningly.

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“My thirteen year old sister goes missing all day, and then I find her with you” Billy pointed accusatory hands towards Steve, giving him a disgusted look.  “In a strangers house” He continued.  “And you lie to me about it” Steve chuckled bitterly, shaking his head and looking away for a moment.

“Yeah, maybe you were dropped too much as a child or what” Steve said snarkily.  But Billy just grinned his twisted grin and licked his tongue over the front of his teeth.  “I don’t know what you don’t understand about what I just said”

You felt a chill go down your spine as Steve’s protectiveness took over his tone.  Dustin beside you mumbling a quiet, “Holy shit”

“She’s not here” Steve said carefully.  Billy nodded, looking pointedly towards the window where you and The Party were all huddled and looking out of.

“Then who’s that?” He asked, pointing his cigarette towards his sister.

“Down!” You hissed, and the five of you dropped to the floor so fast you all groaned from the impact of the floor.

“Shit!” Dustin cursed.  “Did he see us?”

“Oh shit” Steve grumbled.  “Okay listen-” Billy pushed him to the ground before he could explain anything.  The boy kicked him, before storming up into the house.

“Well well well” Billy smirked, seeing you and The Party standing there together, you in front of all of them.  “y/n l/n, what a lovely little surprise” You grimaced, but he didn’t seem to care.  “And Lucas Sinclair, not so much a surprise at all” You moved over more in front of Lucas, who’s hands grabbed onto your arm out of fear.  “I thought I told you to stay away from him Max”

“Billy, go away” Max retorted, but her voice wavered.

“You disobeyed me” Billy leaned over his step sister tauntingly.  “And you know what happens when you disobey me” He added in a hushed, volatile voice.

“Billy-”

“I break things” He uttered, before pushing you aside, crashing your body into the wall.  Before slamming Lucas up against the cupboards.

“Billy stop!” Max and the others began to yell, Dustin rushing over to help you up, but you were already standing up on your own.

“Get off of me!” Lucas cried.

“Since Maxine won’t listen to me, maybe you will” Billy muttered.  “You stay away from her.  Stay-! Away from her” He yelled awkwardly.  “Do you hear me?”

“I said get off me!” Lucas screamed again, followed by a knee between Billy’s legs.  You gasped, feeling a moment of pride as Billy stumbled back and released him.

“You are so dead Sinclair!” Billy hollered.  “You’re dead-”

“No” Steve grabbed Billy by the shoulder, spinning him around roughly.  “You are” And with that he swung his fist and planted it hard enough against Billy’s jaw to make him topple over.

“Steve!” You yelped out of surprise.  He looked at you for a moment, nodding in reassurance as he shook out his hand.  It’d been a while since he’d hit anybody.  Billy stood back up, laughing menacingly.  “You’re a fucking psycho!” You screeched before you could stop yourself.

“Looks like you got some fire in you after all huh!?” He yelled at Steve.  “I’ve been waiting to meet this King Steve everybody’s been telling me so much about” He stepped closer to Steve, glaring at him.

“Get out” Steve muttered, pushing Billy’s chest lightly to move him away from him.  Billy stepped back and stood there for a moment.  And after a few seconds passed you were certain that he was going to stay back.

Until he swung swiftly at Steve, but missed as Steve ducked just in time.  You gasped, clapping your hands over your mouth in terror.  Steve stood back up and swung his fist again, hitting Billy and making him stumble again.

“Yes! Get him Steve!” Dustin cheered, and the others began to as well.  You couldn’t find yourself to say anything, just wince every time a punch was made.  Steve hit him two more times, and Billy ran into the kitchen sink.  Leaning back and wincing in pain.

“Kill him! Kill him!” Mike was yelling.  But Billy grabbed a plate of the counter, smashing it over Steve’s head, and making him fall to the ground.

“Steve!” You screamed now, taking long strides to get over to him, only to be pushed away by Billy.  Who hit Steve as soon as he stood up again.  He grabbed Steve by the shoulders, staring him down.

“No one.  Tells me what to do” He muttered angrily, and threw his head forward hard into Steve’s knocking him down again.

“Fucking hell” You mumbled, tears beginning to prick your eyes in fear that Billy was actually going to kill Steve.  The mullet wearing psycho leapt onto Steve, pinning him down and swinging punch after punch against his face.

“Stop it!” Mike yelled at the top of his lungs, but it did nothing to end Billy’s attack.

“Steve!” Dustin hollered.

You stood frozen, every scene in front of you soundless, and moving slowly.  You could only feel your heart in your chest, sending you into an anxiety attack, you were sure.  But it barely mattered to you in that moment.  You turned away, and your eyes landed on something.

The syringe used on Will earlier.

Sleep… put him to sleep… your thoughts were broken as you reached for it, looking at it in your hands for a few seconds, before stepping forward and slamming the needle into Billy’s neck without a hesitation.  Mike and Dustin gasped, standing back.  Everyone’s eyes stuck on the syringe hanging out of BIlly’s neck now.  A disgust filling them up at the sight.

“Shit y/n” Dustin mumbled, his hand covering his mouth to stop vomit from flowing.

Billy stood up, wobbling slightly as he turned to look at you.  He pulled the needle out of his neck, vision beginning to fail.  “The hell is this?” He asked, trying to step towards you threateningly, but he was wobbling so much you didn’t even move.  No longer afraid of him.

“You’re fucking done Hargrove” You muttered, and before thinking twice to second guess yourself, punching him across the jaw, and sending him back on his ass.  Billy groaned, staying down where he’d fallen against the couch.

“Shit what did you do” He mumbled, growing dizzy from the mix of drug and pain.

A few moments later he completely passed out.

“Fuck” You hissed in pain, putting your bruising knuckles against your mouth.  You didn’t think punching someone would hurt so damn much.

“y/n holy shit”

“Are you okay?”

“That was badass!”

The Party was fussing and cheering for you, but you didn’t respond, kneeling down by Steve next and counting up all the cuts and bruises he was beginning to sport.  He was unconscious, that was for sure.  But he’d be in for a world of hurt when he woke up.

“Come on, help me get him back to Jon’s bed” You called to the kids.

It was difficult moving him, but after ten minutes you’d managed to get him into Jonathan’s room to lie on the bed there.  You were sat next to him, a cold wet rag in your hand, and the open first aid kit on the ground.  It took you awhile to clean off all the blood and apply bandages where you thought they were necessary.  There was a frozen bag of peas you’d put over one of his eyes to stop the swelling, but so far it still looked pretty bad.

The Party had sat with you for what felt like a long time before you told them to go back to the living room and wait for the others to return home.  Dustin put up a small fight about it, but eventually gave in and listened to your order.  And now it was just you kneeling on the ground by Steve, watching over him carefully.  Making sure he was breathing okay, and that nothing would begin to bleed again.

“Well King Steve, you got quite the ass kicking” You mumbled, just to yourself.  Your fingers placed a few stray hairs on his forehead back into place.  “But your crown is still there” You smiled to yourself, fingertips gently brushing his hair.

“y/n?” Your eyes looked back at him as he mumbled, almost incoherently.  “What happened?” The poor boy’s eyes weren’t even open.

“You put up a really good fight” You told him softly.  He winced, the pain probably beginning to settle in.

“Did I win?” He groaned, eyes clenching shut momentarily.  You bit down on your lip and shook your head, even though he couldn’t see you.

“You put up a really good fight” You repeated yourself, playing with his hair again.  Steve sighed, knowing the answer.

“Is he gone?” He asked, eyes finally beginning to flutter open.

“Yeah… yeah he won’t be back any time soon, I’m sure” You answered.  Steve looked up at you, smiling down gently at him.  He smiled back instantly, and moved his arm to push your hair back, but even at it’s slight movement you winced in pain.  “You’re in pretty bad shape” You told him quietly.  “But you’ll heal up alright”

“Are you okay?” He asked, and you nodded.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine” You shrugged slightly.  “We’re all really worried about you.  Dustin thought you were dead” Steve chuckled painfully, shaking his head a little bit.

“Are they alright? Max and Lucas?”

“Yeah, we’re all good Steve” You hummed with a slight nod.  You leaned forward, a little closer to him to check on the eye swelled under the bag of peas.  You frowned, seeing the black and blue bruise that only seemed to be spreading.

“I’m alright, don’t fuss so much” Steve said, putting his hand over the bag and pushing it back against his face.  Your eyes met his for a moment.

“You’re pretty bruised up Harrington” You sighed, taking the wet rag in your hand and dabbing it gently on his bruised cheek.  “There’s not an inch of your face spared”

“It’ll be fine, I’ll heal up”

“Years from now, maybe” You replied sarcastically, and he smiled at you while you carefully pressed the cold cloth to his face.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” He murmured, and you looked at him for the briefest of seconds before going back to work.  Now is not the time to talk about feelings, you thought to yourself.

“Yeah? Go play hero some more and you’ll never see anything again” You told him, and he shrugged slightly, not having a response to that.

“I just wanted to remind you.  In case you haven’t been told in a while” He said.  You bit on the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling too much.  You looked down at him, your eyes softening slightly.

You leaned over closer to him, pausing for a moment before pressing your lips lightly against his.  It was a chaste kiss, only lasting a few seconds as you didn’t want to hurt him anymore than he already was.  When you pulled back, you smiled nervously at him, and he only smiled back at you.

“You’re lucky you didn’t die Harrington” You said, and got right back to work on pressing the rag to his wounds.

“That I am” He replied cheekily.

You giggled softly, smiling down at him and wondering just when he’d changed so much.

You knew he’d give his life for these kids too, just like you would.

love me some babysitter steve

xoxo ~ jordie

[aquanova99]

Can you do a headcanon of the guards meeting their human mate for the first time and their mate is all smiles and sunshine

Alec

Dead silence coming from this one for awhile

He has no idea what to say to you

Why are you being so nice to him? Don’t you know who he is?

You do? And you’re still being nice…you’re weird

Alec finds himself hanging around wherever you happen to be. If you happen to strike up a conversation then I guess he can talk but only because you’re talking to him (sure Alec)

However when you weren’t around someone had the nerve to say all of the energy was exhausting (shockingly not Jane) and they hoped you’d settle down once you were turned

Suffice to say Alec was not thrilled and when he told the other guard member to shut it, they wondered why he cared all of a sudden. He told them it was none of their business but if he heard them talk about you again they’d rip their head off

He begins seeking you out more and you’re unknowingly going to start chipping away the wall around him before you two are inseparable

Jane

She was shocked when you first came to the castle, you were only supposed to be a secretary since when does she care about secretaries

Literally only with you

She wants to be annoyed with you so badly but you are always so nice to her when you say good morning

When another vampires talks about she uses her gift a bit and tells them it’s not their job to gossip

She isn’t used to this kind of attitude from anyone, and she hates that she craves it so much

She will probably explode on you one day because she wants to know why you’re so nice to her no one has ever been this nice to her ever

Sunshine probably gives her a hug at this and Jane kind of melts a little when this happen letting her tears come out

She’s convinced you’ll be gifted in some way, maybe like Corin but there’s no way someone as bright as you wouldn’t have a gift of some kind.

Demetri

Loves it

Brags to everyone about it because he just finds it so sweet

Excited when everyone talks about how nice it is that you have so much energy

People tease him that you’re going to have way too much fun as a newborn (which you totally are)

Demetri is excited for the challenge

Will threaten anyone who even looks at you funny, like hand on their throat against a wall “talk about my mate again and we are going to have some problems.”

Sunshine mate is very oblivious to this

Felix

Also obsessed with it

But unlike Jane and Demetri he dreads the day you have to be turned

He’s worried you’ll hate being a vampire and your sunshine will fade away

Does not need to resort to anything like Demetri or Jane once people knew he had found his mate they were sure to keep their mouths shut

Glares at anyone if they don’t say hi back or continues conversation when his mate is trying to be friendly

Thinks you have to be protected at all costs, probably debated wrapping you in bubble wrap so nothing happen to you

Glad you are becoming friends with everyone and wonder why and how he got so lucky and why you would like someone who to him is the exact opposite of you

Heidi

Good the castle could use more sunshine around here

Loves to go out and enjoy more human activities with you because she knows you really enjoy it

You will probably stay human the longest with Heidi so long as you are good at keeping the secret

I think she’d be more clueless about people disliking too much energy

Because who could ever dislike you? That’s ridiculous

I hope no one find your shine because she will rain hellfire on them. She will hunt down everyone responsible and no one will be able to stop her nor do they want to

The only who could stop her honestly being the twins are just impressed someone could make Heidi that angry

But they’ve all grown to love you so if they upset you they deserve whatever Heidi is dishing out

[jann-07]

Joel: Oh god, a snake just bit my wife's leg, what do I do?

Scott: Elevate and apply pressure.

Joel: Okay.

Joel: *Lifting snake real high*

Joel: Say sorry or else!

---

Pearl: What's the worst decision you've ever made while drunk?

Sausage: I don't mean to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

---

Gem: Today I learned that pockets in dresses were phased out, so women could prove they're not witches, and carrying ill intentions and spells.

Gem: This is why women love pockets in skirts and dresses now.

Gem: We carry our spells and curses without purses and you won't see us coming.

fWhip, holding a drink: Good for her.

---

*thud*

Lizzie: What was that?

Joel: Nothing!

Lizzie: Then why did I hear it?

Joel: It was a loud nothing!

---

fWhip: If I killed someone, would you tell on me?

Gem: No, but I'd use it against you all the time. I'd be like "are you gonna wash the dishes or do I have to make a phone call?"

[blzzrdstryr]

Reveries of the Past. Yandere!Childe x Fatui!gn!reader

Wordcount: 3875

CW: Dissociation, graphic depiction of violence, hallucinations, unhealthy relationship and unhealthy power dynamics.

A.N.: I used a lot of my experience with dissociations in this and if it makes you uncomfortable, I would advice not to read it. I also plan on writing continuation for this, as it’s set before the Rite of Descension. P.s. I am not a native English speaker, so could you notify me if there’s awkward wording.

[Next chapter]

There are plenty of times you find yourself reminiscing about the past and now, your mind slips back to your memories, as you look at the horribly mangled body of the treasure hoarder. The stench of blood stuffs up your nose, it’s sickly sweet metallic odor making your gut clench and nausea rise, as your limbs grow heavier and numb. You don’t feel  like you belong in your skin and bones and blood anymore - it’s cold, so cold, yet you don’t feel any of it. You are an outsider, an unwanted intruder in the house that is your body, an indifferent observer looking at the world through the thick glass.

The world around disfigures, shapes and colors changing in the constant whirlwind - they jump and dance around, small becoming large and large shrinking so much it’s barely visible, green shifts to red to blue and to yellow and to million of other colors, and sounds suddenly become muffled, losing their sharpness, but you don’t care about it: the part that is “you” fled to the daydreams of your childhood moments ago, leaving a clinically observing, yet unfeeling being behind. 

Adults would describe you as a perfect child: quiet, obedient and dutiful, you were a stark contrast to the other louder and more free spirited kids. You studied hard, cleaned the house, helped with dishes and cooking and never talked back. 

I can't upset mom and dad because they work so much. I can't play with other kids because if I do, they will make fun of me, I have to study hard and get good grades, because mom said I will have a good job and become rich and help them. 

These particular memories don't feel good to you: they're bleak and boring, yet full of silent shame - they make your throat clog and eyes water, as something burning starts to bloom deep underneath your skin. 

Childe stops beating the still alive treasure hoarder, a blood smeared on the cheek and a dangerous glint in his eyes, and turns his head to you. 

"Hey, how about lending me a helping hand?", there’s a hunger in his voice you recognize, he wants to teach a lesson to the debtors, then. You walk towards him, feeling your knees get weaker and weaker with each step for some reason. A dagger made of ice shines in your hand with cold light. 

"It's no wonder [First] received a vision! My [First] is always so good and smart, there are no children better" the exact words your mother says, as she brags to her friends, showing them the vision you were bestowed with. You left it to her, not caring what will happen to it - despite all the child's wonder you felt before receiving it, the glowing orb doesn’t look so amazing to you now. It feels foreign and ugly, a reminder of what happened seconds before you gained it. 

“You know, when I was a child”, he takes the weapon and focuses on the treasure hoarder’s leader again, “we made a special kind of promise”. It’s tip travels to the hoarder’s hand. “You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life”

The sweet voice he uses and the fact that you  know the nursery rhyme too would make you sick in the stomach the other day, but not now. 

You don’t exactly remember how you joined the Fatui - it happened shortly after you gained a vision, when you were still too numb and cold to the outside world after the Event. 

Mom will hate me, dad will hate me too. I can’t let them know.

Your parents say that officials just knocked on the front door one day and offered you an entry into the Fatui and a monthly salary, big enough to stop your parents from overworking themselves. You were terrified back then, Fatuis despite being known as a diplomatic organization are still a mystery to the ordinary Shezhnayan and a direct servants to Her will. The thought of disappointing Tsaritsa or letting down Snezhnaya was enough to paralyze you, but seeing the smiles on your parents faces was enough to make you swear to yourself, that you will work there no matter how scary it seems.

“You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice.” The blade stops between phalanges of the little finger: “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend", he presses it, strong enough to detach the limb from the rest of the body in one swift slash. Treasure hoarder starts to cry and scream from the sudden pain, yet quickly chokes on it as Childe hits him in the solar plexus. The crack of bones feels deafening among the sea of muffled sounds.

Training was rigorous to say the least, you came back to your dorm room absolutely exhausted and after you fell on the bed you were practically dead to the world. Turns out, having a vision wasn’t enough to make you a fighter - you needed to know how to climb, swim, run with a weight to lift and wield a weapon. There were other children and teens with you, they eyed your vision with a mix of adoration and envy, you pretended not to catch it in turn.

“The frost will freeze your tongue off so you never lie again”, harbinger forces the victim's jaw apart by squeezing it with one hand, the other rapidly forcing a dagger inside the mouth. Treasure hoarder gasps and mumbles, fat tears forming in his eyes. A part of you expects a sound of parting flesh, but none comes: Tartaglia stands up and removes the blade, leaving a shivering and terrified man laying on the ground.

“Well,” Childe shrugs, as if he didn’t just dismember a person, voice back to his cheery tone : “You didn’t actually make a pinkie promise, so consider it a small mercy”. The treasure hoarder cowers even more, snuggling the injured hand close to the bruised chest. “But if you fail to repay your debt I will oversee that the frost”, he points in your direction, a treasure hoarder’s eyes going wide as he notices your vision, “will actually freeze your lying tongue off”, his voice descends again, back to it’s dangerous half-whisper.

You meet Ajax during the winter, he’s close to you in age and just arrived into Fatui grounds. He boasts and shows off to all of you, and you desperately want to retort something acidic to shut him up and rip off that arrogant bravado, yet say nothing, picturing how the tomorrow training session will have him laying flat on his back, too hurt and too tired to move even a single finger. 

He defeats the trainer in less than a minute.

Now, that the treasure hoarder fled, still snuggling disfigured limb, Childe turns attention back to you. “You seem a little bit disinterested here”, his hand on your cheek is so foreign, it’s burning and freezing at the same time, the shock from the unwanted touch almost strong enough to pull you back into reality. He notices your unintentional flinching and unfocused eyes “Ah, you hurt my feelings, [First]! And I thought we already became friends”. 

You say nothing, cold and unmoving, blind and deaf to the outside world, his words register a second too late, and there’s no cliche phrase for you to reply with. He looks a bit baffled and deflated for a second, but shrugs it off, just like he did during teen years, when you deliberately ignored all his attempts at catching your attention.

“Huh, even if you are so cold to me, I still forgive you”, he takes your hand, his touch still too overwhelming for you to process and pulls you back to Liyue harbor, your legs barely bending as you walk after him, like an obedient dog trailing it’s master.

“You know [First], I can beat you up so badly, that you will barely walk”, you put feather aside, stopping writing the letter to your parents as you glare at Ajax with barely masked indignation. He grins, satisfied to finally catch your attention after the whole day of pestering you. “I am aware of that” you reply in an absolutely flat tone, holding yourself from pouncing on him and trying to break the teeth out of that smug smile. He beams even wider, as if sensing your not-so-good intentions, revealing even more pearly whites as if taunting you.

“But I won’t, count yourself lucky”. And he leaves, this short interaction filling you with so much rage that you shake, handwritten letters noticeably becoming sharper and faster, your thoughts clouding around the idea of acquating his face with your boots. 

 Nonetheless, you indeed count yourself fortunate enough, when you see Ajax defeating grown men with bare hands. When you two, the only vision holders among your peers have to spar, he always goes easy on you, prefering to immobilize you rather than beating, making your defeat less painful yet even more humiliating. 

Almost at the end of your trail he suddenly stops and says something, but you don't catch it, words turning into separate vowels and then fusing together into one unintelligible gibberish mess. He leans in, close enough for his breath to burn your neck, and he continues to get closer, until his empty eyes look into yours glazed ones. He seems disappointed for a second and backs down, his breathing no longer fanning your skin. 

Distantly you think that you somehow angered him and he will slap you for it, and do nothing to dodge the hit - you barely feel pain in this condition anyway, but he doesn’t. The road to the Northland Bank is completed in absolute silence, Childe no longer trying to grab your attention, only when you enter Liyue Harbor does he whisper, that you two must look like a pair with all that hand holding. Judging by the volume and tone of his voice he says it more to himself than to you.

***

You come back to yourself in the safety of your room on the third room of the Northland bank. It feels like a rush of sensation, as everything becomes sharper and clearer again, like you just swam to the surface of water from the very depths of it. An invisible bubble around your head pops in one moment, and the world becomes real again, mind and body connecting for once more.

Eyes and ears focused you take in surroundings: the room is neat and lifelessly empty - just a bed and a working desk with a stack of written but unsent letters, along with a small bookcase near, no figurines, pictures or even plants to decorate living place, as you see no reason to adorn the area you use for sleeping only. Indiscernible wallpapers and a small window close to the middle of the bed finish the picture of austerity.

 Once, your memory catches up to you, you can't help groan from the shame and irritation, hiding your face in both hands. Afterwards  always feels both like a disgraceful escape and a warm blanket during the stormy night, a duality that you accepted long ago after joining the Fatui and today is no exception. You curse Harbinger when you remember why exactly you had an episode, and get up from the bed you threw yourself on minutes ago. You come to the desk, taking a clean form of a relocation request from the drawer and writing materials. 

Filling in the blank feels like commiting a felony to you for some reason - you stop several times when you hear footsteps in the corridor, focusing on the door,ready to hide the half written form and say some lie as an excuse. You don't list the Childe-related reasons, knowing that there's nothing that could make any of the Harbingers face the consequence for their actions, and instead you write completely normal and fake causes: health concerns, family matters and so on. Part of you doubts that this will work and you will have the fortune to get away from a certain harbinger as far as possible. Trying and failing is better than never attempting, you think, quickly writing the paper.

Once you finish it, you almost rush to Ekaterina, praying that you won't run into a certain ginger on the way. Sometime ago you caught Tartaglia checking your letters, for a secrecy he said back then, we can’t let anyone know about the coming operation. Childe then instilled that every sent and received letter should be checked, lest Qixing and other Liyuens learned what Fatui had in plan. It sounded logical and sensible, but the paranoid thought that he enforced this policy just to have a glimpse at your feelings never stopped eating at you. From that day on you sent your family the most basic and vague letters, just stating that you’re in good health and mind, still missing them and Snezhnaya, leaving the ones with more private sentiments in your room. 

Her eyes are completely obscured by the mask, but even with that you can’t miss the pointed glare she sends your way - Tartaglia never shied away from showing off, be it his strength, money or his twisted obsession that he calls love. With the amount of time and finances he spends on you and the way he acts like a kicked lovesick puppy in your vicinity, you are pretty sure that at least half of the bank workers see you as a cunning and cruel seducer, so keen and devious in the art of temptation that you managed to lure in Eleventh Harbinger.

As if archons decided to laugh at you, Childe descends from the second floor too, catching the sight of you near the receptionist. He looks unusually somber for a moment, but then he sees you, a smile appearing on his face as he takes the form from Ekaterina's hands. You can just feel how Ekaterina rolls her eyes under the mask, as if muttering complaints about the lovers’ spat and insubordination, having been working with her for some time, enough to have a clue of the inner workings of her mind.

You have to give him that he plays the confusion and regret very persuasively. He asks how he can fix this, says what a valuable team member you are to him and how much you are needed in the Northland bank. You agree to his suggestion - if years of training with Ajax and then work with Childe taught you anything, it is that Ajax is the chaos incarnate and Tartaglia is Ajax’s less tolerable and more unpredictable version, so it’s better not to anger him.

***

In the end he invites you to dine with him at Wanmin restaurant, a place Childe heard from some “xiansheng” as he called them. A bustling Liyue street is open before you two, tall midday sun painting the whole street into bright orange, so unlike the pristine white landscapes of Snezhnaya. He orders two Black Back Perch Stews on the chef's recommendations, and hands a bouquet of local flowers in a parody of a normal boyfriend. Any random observer would really see it as a date.

You take the flowers, pretending to pay more attention to  them than to a man sitting near you. Tartaglia is an unpredictability wrapped in human skin, there’s no privilege as being lax and carefree near him, as even Tsaritsa has no idea what he will do next. 

To your mutual confusion Xiangling presents the meal with two pairs of chopsticks. Utensils feel foreign in your palm, you having no idea how to handle them and Childe, by the looks of it too. Tartaglia specifically asks the chef for spoons, while you observe the other clients, noting how they use theirs. Holding one stick like a pen and then placing the bottom one in a fixed position under the thumb you manage to grasp the fish from the soup, albeit clumsily. You consider it a small win. 

The image of a mighty Harbinger struggling in a failing battle with chopsticks would look funny to you, if it wasn’t for the whole "date" you were having. After putting them aside, and seemingly admitting defeat, Childe starts from afar: "You know [First], you changed a lot since I first met you" .

You raise an eyebrow at the starter, it's vague and innocent enough, but experience tells you that he will or at least try to stir the conversation into your relationship with him again. Straightening a bit and finally turning your eyes to him, you pause for a second, picking the least offensive reply you can muster - there’s a swarm of insults buzzing at the tip of your tongue prepared just for him, growing and sprouting since your pubescent years.

“Yes, I got taller”, he laughs it off, like you said some funny joke, his giggles not stopping for some time. "No, I mean as a person. Remember how you used to glare at me for joking? And now you act so unfazed ”

Joking. Is this what he calls it? Shivers creep up your spine when your memory oh so conveniently conjures the images of the aftermath of his jokes.

“Your jokes weren’t funny to anyone but you”. Breathe, you think, there’s no need to anger him. There are pictures of broken bones and bruised bodies and a cacophony of somebody else’s pained screams flashing and rattling in your head, Adults never did anything. Why would they? They had a golden boy Ajax, why would they help the others when they had him? Why would they help you? Bitterness and anger you thought you swallowed long ago rise up to the surface again, and you decide to bite down on the stew - Tartaglia always found a way to turn your words against you and hurt you, no need to give him more weapons now.

“I changed a lot too. I know I was insufferable as a teen”, he must have taken your silence as a free pass to continue whatever nonsense he’s sprouting, “I am sorry”.

The last three words catch you off guard, a piece of fish almost stuck in the throat from the jolt. Ajax takes you by surprise once again, for him to finally acknowledge and apologize for all the pain he caused and years he tormented you?

You blink and look at him intently, his facial expression changing into an unusually somber one. It seems authentic enough.

“Let’s start from the scratch?

You contemplate unsure what to say.

Was he lying?

Looking back, you in a sense are luckier than most of Childe's victims, witnessing his youth, familiarizing and distinguishing the tells of him lying and scheming, observing the way he bloomed into the manipulator he is today firsthand. You see a familiarity in his face and voice, something that helps you from falling to his charms. There's also the added fact that you were and still are an involuntary witness to the way how carnal and bloodthirsty usually friendly Ajax can become. 

When did you catch his attention?

You remember his smile when he first approached you, less teeth and more sincerity that is thereafter,a hand outstretched to you. It happens on the next day after his arrival, almost as cold and unpleasant as the previous one. You brush the limb away like a noisy fly, secretly angry at his arrogant attitude and how effortlessly he endured training. His smiling doesn’t stop, yet you feel a sudden change in the air around you.

Would your fate be different if you took his hand?

You can't forget how your mind disconnected from your body for the second time. It was Ajax again vying for your attention akin to a spoiled child, and like one he threw a tantrum when you refused to give him any. The poor recruit you were talking with was hospitalized the same day, as you helplessly watched the carnage before you. You didn't fight, you didn’t flee, you just froze, like a scared animal, paralyzed by fear, yet somehow too detached from feelings. That day was bizarre: once you felt reality, it was solid and undeniable and then you didn't. The realness of the current diffused, slipped through the fingers like sand, leaving nothing but unreliable and delusive reveries behind.

Will he let you go? 

“People do change and I see that you changed too. I don’t think of you as a teen you were” you carefully pick the words, Tartaglia visibly blooms, thinking that his apology worked, yet your next words snuff out his triumph: “but my memories stay the same. I don’t think we can start from scratch”

You bite the tongue, the second part still coming out too harsh for your liking. The moment of sincerity is interrupted, you see him, changing the masks, unsure what to do. It seems for the first time it was you who caught him off guard. You guess which one of the two standard facades he will decide to show to you, having spent years by his side to observe him masterfully wielding both, the friendly one with a vacant smile that never reaches his dead, dead eyes or the calculating one, distant and devoid of humanity?

In the end he uses none, a hurt still evident, dripping in his tone, face and moves - is it another mask you never got to see or is it real? - “So that is your answer”, he leans in closer, dull cerulean eyes looking right into yours.

You hold his stare, nodding, instead of saying anything and he hums, sitting back and wearing the cold mask, reserved for his enemies: “Just wanted to remind you that I am the Harbinger and you are just a position higher than an ordinary agent”. Despite seeing it so many times, it’s the first time he directs it at you and you have to suppress the shiver. The unsaid threat hangs heavy in the air, suffocating you.

You two are no longer solemn [First] and annoying Ajax, who trails your steps behind like a puppy, no, you are a special agent [Last] and Eleventh Fatui Harbinger Tartaglia, to whom you are personally assigned by Tsaritsa herself. Even possessing vision and delusion yourself you can’t match Childe’s power, and your loss would be easy to overlook if your harbinger wished for it. Honestly speaking, there are a lot of things he could do to you without anyone questioning it, the Harbingers being the second most powerful figures in the organization, right after Tsaritsa herself. You heard the stories of Krupp and other assistants who got missing under Il Dottore, you heard of horrible accidents happening to the people Scaramouche dislikes, you heard about the injuries Signora inflicts on the unfortunate recruits when she is in foul mood, yet you never thought that Tartaglia will abuse his power in the same way.

“Don’t worry” he seems to have taken mercy on you, “I won’t use my position like that, it’s cheating and I like to play the fair game”, despite the seemingly reassuring words , you don’t let yourself relax, knowing him for years.

“Don’t think I will back down though, I am not the type to give up”

[fanficimagery]

Talking to the Dead

Imagine your sister calling in a favor, only to find out said favor is for the vampire sheriff of Louisiana.

Words: 6.3K Author's Note: I am not Bill's biggest fan, nor am I Eric/Sookie's biggest fan either. That said, this takes place AFTER all damn drama with King Bill. Eric still runs Fangtasia alongside Pam and Sookie still works under Sam at Merlotte's. They're friends. That's it.

Eric sits behind his desk, the bottom half of his face covered in blood as Pam files her nails. She had been going through Fangtasia's books when she realized the money wasn't adding up and that some of their product was missing. So when Tara brought forward those responsible in making sure Fangtasia was up to date with their taxes and everything, Eric called in a favor from Sookie to get a read on them. Only Eric lost his temper and killed the two men, leaving thousands of his money stashed somewhere only the dead knew of now.

The office door opens and Sookie stumbles inside, still in her Merlotte's uniform. She takes one look at Eric and sighs. "Did you have to kill them? I just wasted a trip out here, Eric Northman."

"How tragic," he deadpans. "You wasted about five dollars in gas, meanwhile I'm still out of thousands, Miss Stackhouse."

"Don't you take that tone with me, Mister!"

Pam snorts. "Shame your little fae powers don't allow you to speak to the dead," she drawls. "That would really come in handy right about now." Sookie opens her mouth to defend her still untrained powers, only to pause and snap her mouth shut. Immediately that catches both vampires' attention and Pam leans forward, interest piqued. "Have you been holding out on us, Tinkerbell?"

"No." Sookie scoffs, suddenly overcome with wariness. "But I, uh, I might know someone who-"

"No." Eric cuts her off. "No witches."

"She's not a witch," Sookie says. "Y/N is, um, she's my sister."

Eric freezes before he leans forward in his chair. "There's a third Stackhouse? How come we never learned of this?"

Sookie sighs and drops onto the couch. She shrugs. "Y/N's powers manifested a lot earlier than mine did and they.. well it drove her crazy. She was in and out of the hospital, and the death of our parents didn't do her any favors. She started rebelling at seventeen and drank herself into oblivion. Constantly."

Pam hums. "Sounds like my kind of girl."

Sookie frowns at her before looking back at Eric. "She's actually due for a visit tomorrow. I'll bring her by."

"How are you so sure she'll do this for us? If I recall correctly, you did not come peacefully," Eric muses.

Sookie rolls her eyes. "Y/N is a free spirit. If I hadn't told you she was my sister, you wouldn't have known we were twins."

"Twins?" Eric seems to perk up, eyes lighting up, and this time it's Pam's turn to roll her eyes.

Sookie scoffs. "Don't be gross. We'll be by after my shift tomorrow."

Finding an Uber into Bon Temps after the sun had set was almost impossible, but fortunately you found someone who was willing to make the trip. You knew Louisiana had become a vampire hotspot, but you didn't know people had found traveling in the state quite so fearsome.

You don't have much on you, with the exception of a small suitcase holding a few change of clothes, so you opt to be dropped off at Merlotte's rather than your childhood home. And upon exiting the car after making sure your payment went through, you grab your suitcase by the handle and walk towards the entrance. A few whispers attempt to reach out to you, but you shake off the echoes of death and march on.

There's only a handful of locals inside Merlotte's, but the no-good nosy folk still all stop to see who's entering their local establishment. Inside, the whispers get louder, but you reign in your control and shake your head clear. What the hell happened here that there are so many echoes?

"Do my eyes deceive me or is that my favorite Stackhouse?"

You're already grinning as you find the source of the comment, grin widening as Sam's familiar handsome self makes his way towards you. "Come on, Sam. We all know who your favorite Stackhouse really is?"

He laughs as he opens his arms for a hug and you drop your suitcase to step into his embrace. "Jason's bragging again, isn't he?"

You huff a laugh and pinch his side, the two of you not speaking of all the years he spent pining after your sister. "So where is my twin?" You ask as you pull back and roll your eyes when Sam readily picks up your suitcase.

You follow him to the bar as he says, "She's taking a call in the back. Want me to let her know you're here?"

"Nah, but can you put in an order for me? I miss Lafayette's burgers."

"Sure thing, chère. What do you want?"

"Cheeseburger with everything, cut the onions. Extra ketchup. Fries. And whatever beer you have on tap."

Sam chuckles as he's already pouring your beer. "So the usual." You grin as he slides your glass across the bar. "I'll be back."

Taking a seat on the stool there at the bar, you grab your glass and sip at the ice cold beer. It feels so good sliding down your throat that the sip turns into a gulp, and before you know it half the glass is gone. Needing a breath, you set the glass down and inhale deeply. As you exhale, you burp, and then take a moment to stretch in your seat while glancing around. A few people are still staring and murmuring far too low to their companions for you to hear, so instead you raise an eyebrow at them- challenging them to say their opinion out loud. None of them do and you scoff an amused laugh before drinking the rest of your beer.

Sam reappears. "Long flight?" He takes your glass and refills it.

"Flight was fine. It's the people of Bon Temps who annoy the shit out of me." Sam frowns, but you shrug off his concern as he quickly glances around at those in his establishment. You're well aware of what everyone thinks of you and Sookie thanks to Sookie's abilities, and you're grateful you didn't quite get the same ability as her. If you had to hear every living being's thoughts on top of the dead's, you'd have permanently committed yourself long ago.

"Well I talked to your sister in the back. She said she'll be right out."

"That's fine." Accepting your second glass of beer, you smile gratefully at Sam before taking another drink.

"Girl, I knows you ain't tryin' to eat my food without saying hello."

You turn on your stool, one knee crossed over the other as you beam at the cook. "Lafayette!" He approaches with your plated cheeseburger and a basket of fries, setting them in front of you before pulling you into a hug. "I wouldn't have left without saying hello. I just wanted my food first."

"'Course you did," he muses. "How long you here for, little Stackhouse?"

"Um, I'm kind of between jobs at the moment," you sheepishly admit. You quickly grab a fry and pop it into your mouth. "I'll probably stick around until I can find something or Sookie kicks me out."

Lafayette swats you with his dish towel. "You know damn well Sook won't kick you out. That sister of yours misses you lots. She's been talkin' nonstop about your visit."

"If you need a job, chère, I'll be happy to give you one."

You pop another fry into your mouth, grinning over at Sam. "Lord knows you can barely handle one Stackhouse, Sam. No way in hell you can two- three if Jason is around as much as I'm assuming." Sam opens his mouth to retort, but a shriek cuts him off. It's Sookie and she barrels right into your side. "Jesus Sook," you laugh. "Warn a girl."

As you and Sookie quickly catch up (she's all for you staying as long as you need), more patrons enter Merlotte's and Lafayette's forced back into the kitchen. Jason and his best friend Hoyt walk in, so you walk over to join them as Sookie gets back to work also.

Jason is glad Sookie won't be in the house all on her own since he has his own place and Hoyt is just glad to see all the Stackhouses together once again. You finish your cheeseburger and fries there at the table with them, along with three glasses of beer and two shots courtesy of your brother who wanted to properly celebrate your homecoming.

Jason and Hoyt leave, you waving them off when they asked if you wanted a ride home. Sookie's shift is just about over and you remember her asking if you could wait for her because she wanted to take you someplace. So when Sookie comes out from the back to collect you from the bar, you're slightly swaying on your stool as you grin at her.

"Are you drunk?" She incredulously asks. "Y/N, I need you level headed."

"Ooohhh," you coo and reach out to bop her on the nose. "And just what do I need to be level headed for, sis?"

"Can you walk?" She asks instead. You laugh and nod, hopping off the stool and giving yourself a moment to make sure the room isn't tilting. She sighs. "That's good enough for me. Come on. A friend of mine needs a favor." She walks behind the bar to collect your suitcase and a bottle of water from the small refrigerator under the bar. "Bye, Sam! See you later!" She then calls out as she leads you down a hall. You hear Sam's muffled reply from one door in particular and then Sookie's leading you out the back exit and towards her car.

Outside she opens the passenger door to her small yellow Honda Civic that looks newer than the last time you saw it, and tosses your suitcase in the backseat. She pushes you down onto the passenger seat and holds the water bottle out to you. "Drink."

You take the bottle without a word, twist off the cap, and start to guzzle the water as she shuts the door and walks around the car to the driver's side door. You only get half of it down before needing to breathe. "What.. am I.. guzzling water for?" You ask in between breaths.

As Sookie starts up her car, she casts a wary glance your way before looking back to where she's driving. "Shreveport. We're going to Fangtasia. The owner of the bar needs you to listen to some echoes."

"Fangstasia?" Your brow furrows as you try to wrack your brain about why that sounds so familiar. A moment later, however, the answer comes to you and you groan. "First off, I can overlook the vampire bar. What I can't overlook is that of all people to tell our secret to, you chose vampires. Vampires! Do you know we're like crack to them?"

"I'm sorry, okay! I got involved with them a while back, which is a mistake that I can admit now, but Eric actually tried helping me in his own way. Somewhat. We've become friends."

"Sookie." You groan again. Your sister pouts and you decide to keep quiet, sipping on your water and wishing it were something stronger. "So what does this Eric know about me listening to echoes?"

"Nothing really," she says. "I know how you like your privacy, so last night was the first time I mentioned that I even had a sister." You grin, not hurt at all by her not mentioning you to others. "I just said that you could listen in on the dead. They don't know about anything else."

"Good. I like to keep 'em on their toes." Sookie snorts at your all too amused expression. "And besides, I learned a new trick! I can't wait to test it out."

Your sister glances between you and the road, her smile faltering. "Are you- are you sure you're okay to do this? I know how it can get when you're not truly focused."

"We're on the road." You giggle. "No turning around now."

This time it's Sookie's turn to groan. "I knew I should have asked beforehand. Now the night's gonna end with one of us pinned to a wall."

"Oooh. Kinky."

The rest of the drive is painfully quiet, with the exception of some gospel music station Sookie has playing on low. You're humming a completely different song under your breath, right arm hanging out the window and letting the humid air rush over the skin of your arm. Thankfully the drive isn't too long and Sookie is soon pulling into the parking lot with a building partially decorated with neon red lights. The outside of Fangtasia is not what you expected, but seeing the line of both human and vampires in their scantily clad outfits makes you excited to see what's going on inside.

You're practically bouncing in your seat as Sookie parks and she can't help but grin at your apparent excitement. "Get it all out now," she says. "You won't be smilin' the closer you get to the buildin'. Not while you're half drunk."

"Shut up and let's go!"

Sookie fondly rolls her eyes and the two of you simultaneously pull down the sun visors to check yourselves in the small mirrors provided. Happy with your reflections, the two of you climb out of the vehicle. As your sister comes around to your side, you hook your arm through hers and the two of you head for the building.

Instead of heading straight to the back of line, Sookie leads you directly to Fangtasia's bouncer and ignores the grumbled displeasures of those waiting in line to get in. It takes you a few seconds to recognize the dark skinned female checking ID's, but when she turns to greet Sookie and her eyes widen upon seeing you, you grin. "What's cookin', good lookin'?"

"Oh Lord," Tara muses. "Eric's gonna murder the both of y'all."

Sookie huffs and she holds you back as you attempt to poke at Tara's abdomen. "Who put him in a bad mood now?"

Tara shrugs as she swats your hand away. "It's Eric. He's always in a bad mood unless he's balls deep in some fang-banger."

Your sister ew's and you grin, clearly impressed, until Sookie elbows you. Tara just chuckles and gestures inside. "Go on in. You know where to find him. See you later, Y/N."

"Lookin' forward to it." Sookie drags you inside and the second you step foot in the darkened hallway, you sway on your feet as pressure builds up in your head. "Wait, wait, wait." You step aside to lean against the wall, shaking your head clear and trying to build up mental walls. When you catch a glimpse of your sister, you see her smiling sadly at you and are grateful she doesn't gloat about being right. "This is why I don't hang around vampires much," you murmur. "So much death."

"Sorry. I know I should have asked beforehand, but I didn't want to give you a chance to say no. Eric's annoying when he doesn't get what he wants."

"Yeah, yeah." You wave her off, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths. Once you feel a bite more settled, you push off the wall and meet your sister's gaze. "Okay. I'm ready."

Entering the main part of the club you can't help but look around in wide-eyed wonder. While most would think you were awe, you actually weren't and instead bit back the comment about how ridiculously cliché the establishment is. Everything is in blacks and reds, vampires in leather or electrical tape are dancing on poles, and the humans reek of desperation.

"Huh. No one's on the throne," Sookie muses.

You glance towards a raised platform, eyes lighting up at the sight of two actual thrones. Sookie's grip on your arm, however, stops you from attempting to go up there. "At least buy me a drink before we meet Mr. Scary Vampire." You pout.

"Nope." She starts marching away from the bar and towards a back hallway. "You're drunk enough already. You can have one at home when we're done here."

"Boo. You're no fun."

Sookie stops right outside a black door and impatiently knocks. You grin at her already huffy attitude and then walk in behind her as soon as someone permits entrance. The office is very plain, with the exception of a blood red couch off to the side and the two vampires behind the desk, and you frown as Sookie guides you towards a black leather chair and pushes you down into it.

"So this is the mysterious Stackhouse." The blonde male drawls.

You drag your gaze from your sister to the vampire in question and sit a little straighter in your seat as a lazy smile stretches across your lips. "And you're the mysterious vampire I've only heard about an hour ago." You then look at your sister. "Please tell me you banged this one."

There are simultaneous snorts from behind the desk and Sookie exhales roughly, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Eric. Pam, this is my sister Y/N. She might be a little drunk."

"Just a little," you muse, giggling.

"Well at least we know who the fun Stackhouse is."

You perk up again, putting one finger on the tip of your nose and pointing at Pam who's smirking at you with the other hand. "And don't you forget it."

"As amusing as this is," Eric drawls again, "I need a favor. Are you capable of doing what your sister claims you can do?"

"I wouldn't be here if I couldn't." You smirk. The smirk falters however as you feel a chill slide across the back of your neck. You still and slowly glance over your shoulder, whispers you hadn't been listening to earlier getting louder. You wince and turn back around, strengthening your shields. A moment passes before you clear your throat and say, "But I have two conditions before I start."

Eric and Pam had been watching you closely, intrigued the second Sookie held up her hand to stall their questions when they noticed you zone out and stare at the corner of the room. "Money is no issue," Eric then says.

"Pft. I don't want money."

"Y/N!" Sookie reprimands. "You're in between jobs. Take the money."

Without looking at your sister, you wave your hand at your sister to get her to shut up. You know you've done your job when she swats your hand so you continue speaking to Eric. "First condition, no biting! I don't care how delicious I smell. No gnawing on the tiny little gremlin."

Pam's lips stretch into a wide smile whereas Eric's lips faintly twitch. "And the second?"

"I get free drinks from the bar whenever I'm here."

"Deal."

"Yes!"

"You're such an idiot," Sookie mutters.

You look to your sister, bouncing in your seat in excitement. "Joke's on Dracula. I'm gonna be in Bon Temps for the foreseeable future. That's a lot of free drinks for me. Suck it, Pixie."

"Oohh. I like this mouth breather. Can we please keep her?"

You meet Pam's gaze and wink. "As beautiful as you are, sweet stuff, you are so not my type."

Her left eyebrow raises as she's still clearly amused. "Because I'm a vampire?"

"Nah. Because you're female," you say. "I can appreciate a hot as fuck lady when I see one, but I still prefer cock."

"Okay!" Sookie nearly shouts as she stands up. Eric beams at your drunken blunt attitude. "We're here so Y/N can find out where your money is and we're way off topic. Can we please get on with it so I can get her home?"

You snort. "Prude." Sookie slaps the back of your arm and you squeal, slapping her arm back. You glare at her until her lips twitch and then you're back to giggling, looking back toward the vampires. "So let's do it. Do you have anything of the dead guy I'm supposed to be listening for? It'll make it easier to listen in on him."

Pam shrugs. "His blood is still in the dungeon. Will that work?"

"Gross, but yeah. Lead the way."

As soon as you stand, the voices amp up and you sway at the sudden onslaught of voices. You grit your teeth and tune them out, nodding at Eric who had stilled to keep an eye on you. He gestures to follow after Pam and you do, Sookie and Eric following behind you. Pam makes a beeline for the stage of thrones, but before you can follow there's a hand gripping your wrist and leading you towards a door behind the bar.

You're led down into a dimly lit dungeon behind Eric and you can't help the next words that leave your mouth. "It's always such a let down when the dungeon is actually a dungeon and not a sex dungeon."

Eric turns around to stare at you with a leering gaze and Sookie groans. "Been in a lot of dungeons?"

"Not really." You shrug and walk towards the back of the room where there are metal poles sticking up from the concrete floor. Chains hang from each of them and you shiver as your fingers run over them, the metallic rattling immediately tuning you in to the whispers. Subtly shaking your head, you look towards Sookie. "You know the drill."

She nods, pulling small orange styrofoam plugs from her pocket. "If it looks like you're struggling, plug my ears. Or get out."

"Bingo." You grin at your sister before looking at Eric. "If it gets bad, I expect you to vamp speed her little butt outta here."

"And how would I know what bad looks like?"

"Oh you'll know," Sookie mutters.

Grinning one last time at Sookie and Eric, you turn back towards where Eric obviously chains up those who end up on his bad side. So touching the chains again, you let the rattling and whispers overcome your senses.

"..dangerous. Need to leave."

"..bad place. I just want to go home."

"Stupid fuckin' vampers."

The room turns hazy and silhouettes walk to and from around the basement. You stare at them, letting the voices come and go until you find the one you're looking for.

"..so screwed. Never should have done it." Your gaze zeroes in on the silhouette, watching it pace back and forth. "It was just a little money. Pocket change."

"Never gonna find it. Calm down. We're already dead."

You listen a bit more to their whining, hoping for anything useful when a loud dry sob pierces the air. You wince and whirl around to spot the source of noise.

"Did she- can she hear us?"

"If she can then she can tell that goddamn vamper where his stuff is." You whirl back around, gasping at the too close silhouette. "Hello." A chill rushes through you and your too tense muscles seem to relax as a haze takes over your mind.

"Y/N? You good?" Sookie asks. She warily glances around, she and Eric both noticing the atmosphere in the room thickening.

"Hm?" Your eyes blink rapidly as if clearing your vision. "Yeah. All good," you hear yourself saying.

"Well what did you find out?" Eric asks.

You feel your head turning left and right as if taking in your surroundings before you turn around and walk towards the wall where more chains are hanging. Eric growls at being ignored and Sookie quietly assures him that this is normal. Reaching for a chain, you feel your hand gliding along one chain and picking it up, caressing a metal stake at the end of it.

"Y/N," Sookie cautiously calls out. "What are you doing?"

Getting a good grasp on the stake in one hand, you turn around and smile at Eric- a chilling smile that immediately sets Sookie on edge and lets even Eric know that something is off. "Fuck your money. You're never gonna get it, you dead piece of shit."

"Y/N, don't!" Sookie screams as your arm suddenly thrusts the stake towards the side of your neck, only to stop mere centimeters from the intended target.

Sookie gasps and Eric raises an eyebrow in surprise. "Are her eyes supposed to completely white over?"

"Well she did mention learning a new trick." Sookie nervously shifts beside Eric and they watch you slowly come back to yourself, expression hardening.

Eyes completely white, you stare straight ahead as you lower your hand without any resistance from the spirits. "You dead fucks try that shit again and I will obliterate your fuckin' souls, and mark every soul in your goddamn family. Do I make myself clear?" You seethe. The dungeon gets chilly before the tension seems to suddenly dwindle. The whispers amp up before completely dying out and you stand a little taller. "Good. Now where is the money?"

Eric and Sookie patiently watch Y/N as she lazily glances back and forth before the white recedes from her eyes. Her shoulders sag and she meets Eric's gaze. "That Rafael guy had a building he was renovating over on.. over on.." she trails off, brow furrowing as she tries to collect her thoughts.

"I know of it," Eric says.

She sighs. "Well the money's in the wall on the second floor. Happy demolishing."

Then like a puppet with its strings cut, Y/N collapses right before their very eyes.

          - - - - - - - - - -

A pounding at your temples is what wakes you and you groan as your eyes flutter open. You're apparently still at Fangtasia, back in Eric's plain office and laying on the most uncomfortable couch you've ever laid on.

"You're awake. Good."

You begrudgingly sit up, wincing as the throbbing persists. Glancing around, you frown as you notice you and Eric are the only two in the room. "Where's my sister?"

"Miss Stackhouse couldn't bother a mere hour in my presence so she went out front to pester Tara."

"You two exes or something?"

Not even close. "No. I admit I pursued her once, but it was only to satiate my curiosity about why she smelled so divine." Bill fuckin' Compton was also a cock block of epic proportions.

You snort. "Cock block. Who is Bill and why did he cock block you from Sookie?" Eric stills and he goes quiet. You frown at him and then between one blink and the next, Eric is kneeling in front of you.

Can you hear me?

"Um, yes?" You say. A moment passes and then you realize your slip-up. You groan. "Okay, so yeah. I can't read the minds of humans, but apparently I can read the minds of vampires. It only happens when I'm at my most vulnerable and being slightly possessed makes me vulnerable."

Eric slowly smirks. "Well aren't you my new favorite Stackhouse."

You fall back against the back of the couch, groaning. "Whatever. I don't have the energy to argue with you. Just please don't tell Sookie. She gets all huffy when I can do something she can't."

Another blink and Eric is sitting beside you on the couch. "Is there a reason why you can read vampires and she can read everyone else but vampires?"

"Your guess is as good as mine." You shrug. "I eventually came to the conclusion that we're just a part of different courts. She's Light Fae and I'm Dark. She flourishes under the sun and I under the moon. I don't really know."

"Have you tried getting answers from other Fae?"

"Yeah, no. I met a member of the Fae court and that's a hard pass. Those fairy fucks can keep their imposter foods. I like this realm just fine, thank you very much."

Eric's lips twitch. "If the vampires find out about your powers, they're going to fight to put their claim on you."

"Is that your not so subtle way in trying to convince me that I should ask you for protection?"

"I'm the sheriff of this area, sweetheart. You won't be able to find anyone better suited for the job."

You huff a quiet laugh. "Keep your fangs to yourself, sweetheart. I can take care of myself."

We'll see about that.

Settling in at what was always known as Gran's house, you almost take Sam up on his offer to become a waitress or bartender at Merlotte's. But then a day after doing Eric a favor, a check arrives for you- a check worth thousands of dollars- along with an offer from Eric to work every other day at Fangtasia to read the vampires coming and going from his area.

You didn't get back to him right away, instead choosing to just keep to yourself for a bit and re-familiarize yourself with the town. And then just when you think you have a lid on things, a constant buzzing makes a home just at the back of your skull.

For days Eric tries reaching you through texts and calls, but you just don't have the patience to deal with him. The buzzing is non-stop, the echoes of the dead sound as if they're underwater, and you can't hold a conversation longer than a minute. Sookie seems to understand that you can't be around people, so she leaves you be for the most part.

Your sister is currently at work so you have the house all to yourself. You haven't been able to clear your head and the buzzing is only getting louder and louder. You're nearing your breaking point, so when there's a knock at the front door you try to ignore it.

The knocking persists so you reluctantly roll out of bed, frowning as you march downstairs and towards the front door. Through the screen door you can see Eric standing there. You scowl at him, he grins, and when you push open the door he's immediately leaning against the door jamb. "You've been ignoring me."

You sigh and cross your arms over your chest. "I haven't been feeling well. Something's.. off."

That causes his faint grin to drop. "Is it something serious?"

"I'm not sure. I just- it feels like something bad is on the way."

"Well in that case.." Eric straightens up and stares down at you. "You're going to invite me in so I can protect you-" you scoff, "-or have primal passionate sex with you. You pick."

Though your mind is on overdrive, you can't help but faintly grin at the tall vampire. "I'll take a raincheck on the sex, but if you still want to come in, then come in."

Eric smirks as he crosses the threshold of the house and you shake your head at him before turning around and leading him to the living room. You take a seat in the corner of the couch, curling up with a pillow in your lap, and Eric sits on the middle seat to be as close to you as possible. "How long have you been feeling like this?"

"Few days now," you tell him. "There's this.. buzz. It's constant and it just keeps getting louder and louder."

"And the voices?"

"Muffled. No matter how much I concentrate, I can't hear them clearly. It's like they're trying to tell me something, but I can't tune in to the right station. It's annoying." Eric hums in thought and you attempt to change the subject. "So what brings you down here to Bon Temps? Surely my first impression wasn't that memorable."

He smirks as his arm rests along the top of the backrest of the couch, his fingers tugging on a few pieces of your hair. "It's rare for someone to amuse me these days. And you weren't what I was expecting Sookie's twin to be."

"Between the two of us, Sookie got all the perkiness. I, uh, I got stuck with all the doom and gloom." Eric quirks an eyebrow at you and you chuckle, wincing a moment later as an lingering echo screeches in your ear. Your attention is immediately drawn towards the kitchen where you see a silhouette walk by and the buzzing amps up.

Without uttering a word, you get up and follow it.

Eric watches as Y/N laughs one moment and then in the next second her expression is completely blank and attention elsewhere. Normally he'd be offended, but after learning what he could from Sookie he knows to never bring Y/N out of a trance. So in order to protect this little fae that just continues to become more and more interesting, Eric gets up and follows Y/N through the kitchen and out the back door.

He keeps several feet between himself and Y/N, his curiosity piqued as he notices her stop in the middle of the field behind her home. She glances back and forth as if searching for something, slowly turning in a circle. She winces and stumbles back, eyes wide and heart pumping furiously. Whatever's going on, Eric's instincts suddenly kick in and he doesn't like it. He doesn't like the look of fear on Y/N's face.

One sudden stumble sends Y/N to her knees, hands clamping around her ears.

"No, no, no," you mumble. The buzzing is extremely loud now, voices are screaming but you're still unable to make out what they're saying. Rocking back and forth, you glance around and your heart sinks as you watch Eric standing there across from you. "Go. Get away. I can't-"

"What's wrong? I can help you."

You shake your head. "You can't. You need to go. Get away from me. Please."

Eric watches you and you whimper when you see his resolve strengthen. He's not going anywhere. Clenching your eyes shut against the onslaught of noise, you slam your hands down on the ground in front of you and your fingers dig into the earth. Your breaths come faster and faster, and when you can't take it anymore your eyes fly open as you open your mouth and scream.

Your scream drowns out the buzz, the voices become clearer and it's only there alongside your scream do you understand them. You don't know how long you scream for, but when you stop your throat feels raw.

"What was that?" Eric asks.

"Sookie."

He's immediately kneeling before you, fingers under your chin to tilt your face upward. "What did you say?"

"My sister. She's not- she's not safe."

"She's at work under the ever watchful eye of the shifter."

"She is. Until she walks out back to take out the trash," you say. "Please," you beg. "Just.. just go check on her."

Eric continues to hold your gaze for a moment longer before he gives you a terse nod and then stands tall. Your eyes follow him as she lifts off into the air and it's like a weight is lifted off your chest. You sob in relief, curling in on yourself with your face in your hands.

"..inside.. safer.."

The hairs on the back of your neck stand up and your cries immediately cease. Sniffling, you sit back up and glance around the field you're in. Hearing the chirping insects and the ruffling of tree limbs puts you at unease, so you climb to your feet and hurriedly make your way back towards the house. You don't breathe until you're inside, behind closed doors, but even then you're still a little tense and wondering if your sister is okay.

The minutes tick on by as you pace back and forth in the kitchen, and you yelp when you turn around and Eric is standing right there. You raise a fist in order to punch him, but stop halfway there and instead poke his chest as you push him back a step. "Don't do that."

He smirks. "Sookie is fine. A couple of human junkies needed some money for their next fix. The sheriff is on the way to take care of the issue."

"Thank you." You sigh. As you move aside to take a seat at the table, you glance back at Eric and see a blood trail falling from his ear. Your eyes widen and you rush towards him, uncaring about boundaries when one hand lands on his chest and the other grasping his chin to turn his face sideways. "Your ear! I told you to leave before I screamed. Why didn't you listen?" You let go of his chin and then shove him a step back as you go back to pacing.

Eric chuckles. "You've been keeping secrets. You're not just Fae, are you?"

You shrug. "I'm not really sure what I am. I only found out I was part Fae because you guys told Sookie she was. The mind reading is from Fae abilities, but the screaming-"

"The wailing is a whole different breed."

You stop pacing and face him once more. "There's only one creature that wails," you say, "but I gave up on digging into our family history a long time ago."

"You truly are a rare breed, Miss Stackhouse. Half fae, half banshee. The vampires are going to be in a tizzy over you."

You groan. "A problem is inevitable until I agree to a claim, isn't it?"

"Aren't you a smart cookie."

You scowl at Eric then, holding his gaze until you sigh. "If I say yes to a claim, can I have your word that you won't take advantage?" He smiles then and though this vampire is ridiculously good looking, you rather not be someone's pet. But alas, you know he's right. "If the offer for a job at Fangtasia is still open, I'll take it. I don't plan to leave Bon Temps anytime soon and I'm going to need the cash."

"Sweetheart, if you agree to be mine I'll give you all the cash you could want."

Your nose wrinkles. "I'm so gonna regret this." There's a faint click! as Eric's fangs appear, his eyes darkening as he readily bites into his wrist. "Don't tell my sister."

Drink up, little one. We're going to have some fun.