#and we come to the end

[httydfirefly]

LonelyEyes text fic - but actually it's my friend's group chat (Part Four)

Contains swearing.

Peter Lukas: U JUST DONT APPRECIATE ALL MY EFFORT

Elias Bouchard: womp womp try harder

Peter Lukas: NO. Im done with your shit

Elias Bouchard: this is why we are divorced you never try enough I need more

Peter Lukas: And all my lawyers are leaving me on delivered @Gregor Orsinov @Breekon & Hope Deliveries

Simon Fairchild: Not all…

Peter Lukas replying to @Elias Bouchard: I will

Elias Bouchard replying to @Peter Lukas: HEY

Peter Lukas replying to @Rosie Zampano: You’re not a real lawyer

Elias Bouchard: that’s MY lawyer you are talking to

Peter Lukas: You’re just some liar with too much money Go away

Elias Bouchard: you deserve con artist Rosie’s law firm

Peter Lukas: 🖕

Elias Bouchard: 💋

Peter Lukas: The only con artist I needed was you

BUT NOOOO

Rosie Zampano: When did I become a con artist

Elias Bouchard: every lawyer is even Simon… he’s conning me siding with my ex

Simon Fairchild: Even I must agree to that

Elias Bouchard Replying to @Simon Fairchild: see?? too bad I pay him MORE THAN ENOUGH to get his loyalty

Simon Fairchild: Sure.

Elias Bouchard Replying to @Simon Fairchild: AGREEANCE

Elias Bouchard Replying to @Rosie Zampano: you are :))

Peter Lukas Replying to @Rosie Zampano: That’s what they all say 🙄

Simon Fairchild: For the contract, may I inquire as to whether you signed a prenuptial agreement?

Elias Bouchard: we did not It was a marriage of necessity. we eloped

Simon Fairchild: Understandable

Elias Bouchard: So, as my lawyer, I trust you will get me the good stuff

Simon Fairchild: I will do my best to make the agreement as mutually beneficial as possible so that you both can feel safe comfortable signing it*

Elias Bouchard Replying to @Simon Fairchild: I want you to ruin his life

Simon Fairchild: @Peter Lukas, @Elias Bouchard, what time will you be at the Christmas party so we can sort this out?

Peter Lukas: 🙄 I don’t want to see either of you But 8:30

Simon Fairchild: Sounds good to me

Elias Bouchard: the feeling is mutual

Peter Lukas: Fuck you

Elias Bouchard: Apart from Simon just hate you Peter

Peter Lukas: Boo hoo

Elias Bouchard: womp womp get over it

Simon Fairchild: I will have you know that to the best of my ability I have created an impartial agreement that I am sure you can both agree to

Elias Bouchard: booooooo that is not very girlkeep of you Simon

Peter Lukas: I want Elias bankrupt

Elias Bouchard: not gonna happen I hoard my wealth in offshore Swiss accounts

Simon Fairchild: Unfortunately both or your wishes would not lead to the other agreeing and you would be forced to stay married

Peter Lukas: I will bomb Switzerland and cripple the economy

Peter Lukas replying to @Simon Fairchild: EW

Elias Bouchard replying to @Simon Fairchild: e n t r a p m e n t

Simon Fairchild: Hence I am sure you will find the agreement rather reasonable

Elias Bouchard: this is JUST like the parent trap

Peter Lukas: ew happy endings

[liyrical]

(jjk266) confession

[nerdanel01]

I know it’s not their fault, but Rook thinking they’re disrupting the ritual and instead accidentally unleashing two OP blighted gods is like. Almost Peregrin-Took-waking-the-Balrog levels of tomfoolery.

[theribbajack]

"Now, the vow will be honoured, and my Lord brother's soul will return."

Radahn stans keep winning, but I personally am in Miyazaki's walls rn

[sketchy-tour]

Thank you, Remderem!

[egophiliac]

don't think I'm not still deep in the episode 7 brainrot. because OH BOY AM I

(also one more extremely, obnoxiously self-referential thing, I'm -- I'm so sorry)

[markscherz]

BOOPHIS SNOOT!

Specifically, an undescribed Boophis from the B. goudotii species group that I discovered in 2015/2016.

[crowatyourwindow]

Kenji and his cow Hanako II were the best duo from wan change my mind

[lotus-pear]

mourning black and the death of ideals

[starcurtain]

Teyvat's "Most Down Bad" Award Goes to Alhaitham for a Second Year Running

Seeing everyone making fun of Alhaitham for his "stalkerish" tendencies in this event is funny, because I feel like a lot of people missed that "Be literally everywhere Kaveh is" has been Alhaitham's MO from the day Kaveh appeared in the game.

From only grabbing his house keys after Kaveh returned from the desert (he couldn't have had both sets of keys at the end of the Archon Quest unless he went home and got Kaveh's copy) to ditching conversations to get back to his house only after Kaveh came home, to showing up without any warning or explanation in Kaveh's hangout with some ridiculous excuse about hearing his voice through noise-cancelling headphones... Refusing to offer any help in the Temple of Silence story quest other than staying in the library with Kaveh...

Since when does Alhaitham willingly cover anyone else's duties?

But this trend of "Be everywhere Kaveh is" didn't start when they were adults. It was already in place when they were still Akademiya students--and it's a trend that didn't end even when they had their fight.

Even when they weren't speaking, Alhaitham dogged Kaveh's every step through published responses to Kaveh's research articles in academic journals. He insisted on keeping a line of communication between himself and Kaveh open, even if the only way to do that was through very public ideological clashes. Pulling Kaveh's pigtails to get his attention lolol. It's implied that, for at least the few years between their fight and Kaveh moving in, this was the only communication between them--Alhaitham's refusal to allow their connection to entirely fade away. (And the fact that this is revealed in Kaveh's character stories--through his precious journal that records the moments of his life that had the most impact on him--shows just how deeply he values the fact that Alhaitham didn't give up.)

Another relevant side note: Alhaitham never asked Kaveh to give up his half of their house. Knowing half of it belonged to Kaveh, knowing that Kaveh may one day want to reclaim his part of it, knowing that it was listed as theirs, Alhaitham moved into the house and made zero effort to change its ownership. He was completely fine with living in "his and Kaveh's house." The stories suggest it was only months later (or even longer) that Kaveh even noticed he had the house, and he transferred away ownership of his portion without Alhaitham ever asking him (or even seemingly wanting him) to do so.

Please, let that sink in. Alhaitham actively left his grandmother's (presumably comfortable) house to move into "his and Kaveh's house," with no apparent explanation for why, and after doing so, he made no attempt to change that "his and Kaveh's" label. He moved into the house with no promise that Kaveh wouldn't show up on the doorstep the very next day and move in too. It almost feels like another deliberate provocation--I've moved into our house, are you going to come stop me? LBR, if Alhaitham had had his way, Kaveh would have been living there with him from Day 1...

There's also the fact that Kaveh literally can't write on a single message board anywhere in the entire nation of Sumeru without Alhaitham hunting his messages down and responding to them (which absolutely no one else does, by the way).

"NUH-UH!" "UH-HUH." "NUH-UH!"

Alhaitham's own character stories tell us explicitly that one of Alhaitham's defining character traits is "He is never where you need him to be," yet somehow...

Shot, and chaser:

Any time Kaveh is in the slightest bit of need or danger or just wants Alhaitham near, Alhaitham is "coincidentally" exactly where Kaveh needs him to be, whenever Kaveh needs him to be there.

Alhaitham didn't just "happen" to run into Kaveh in Port Ormos, an entirely different city from where he was supposed to be working. He didn't just "happen" to read the same terrible book as Kaveh when we know he otherwise would not waste a moment of his time on poorly-written literature...

He didn't just "happen" to appear when Kaveh was upset and needed a distraction in the House of Daena during Kaveh's hangout. He didn't just "happen" to be sitting around waiting when Kaveh needed answers after the Archon Quest. He didn't just "happen" to find Kaveh's academic publications and every single message board posting and respond to them at length and in public.

The only person for whom Alhaitham just "happens" to be available is Kaveh, over and over and over again--because he is very deliberately making himself a constant presence in Kaveh's life.

Which is exactly what Kaveh's mother told Kaveh he needed.

(Like, out of all things, I think people really underestimate the devs deliberately paralleling the romantic relationship between Kaveh's mother and father with Kaveh and Alhaitham's relationship. If you want to point to one thing that says "These two characters are intentionally queer-coded," it doesn't get any more obvious than this.)

Alhaitham, are you not embarrassed to be this transparent??? 🫣

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

At your side [End of Season 2]

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[lilybug-02]

You're right. This IS fun

It really is the BEST.

[blorbologist]

hey im not over this. I just went to dig it up and. it's literally the exact same shot. (except Orthax is giving Ripley a smidge more personal space, and she doesn't have the glowy-glowy ember eyes)

[buttered-toasty]

Ignore the half-assed background, it’s not actually supposed to Be the background, I just wanted to post this in case I never finish the second half (maglor)

I have thoughts about them. Many thoughts.

[kyurochurro]

they did the monster mash!! 😳 🎃it was a graveyard smash!! 🦇👻

[egophiliac]

just thinking about hair and faces