#and was like in agony but told nobody about it but it was a way to reclaim some part of his body by ending his line

[joogios]

There’s a lot to be explored in Zeke’s character and backstory both within the context of being a soldier growing up in what seems to be a very racist military dictatorship but also within like—every aspect of his character being a walking checklist of someone who’s been abused/+ dehumsnised; him willing to use his literal spinal fluid (not exactly something Zeke can obtain on his own….) for plans, the entire forced euthanasia plan that he came up with as a teenager , the numerous times he’s seen shirtless when most if not all characters rarely are clearly implying he’s a lot more comfortable with it, the way he was chained in the Paths, him being unable to scream lest he creates monsters. So many things that he’s willing to do feel so invasive, it’s really morbid once you seriously start reading between the lines and it raises up a hullva lot of questions, especially in relation to both Grisha who first and foremost used Zeke as a mole and Tom Ksaver who both had no queries on the forced euthanasia plan and who was the prior holder of the Beast Titan that built up a connection with Zeke for years before Zeke became the Beast Titan via eating Ksaver.

The fact that even long after a decade he’s so dead set on the belief that Grisha abused Eren to the point where he’s willing to kidnap Eren raises questions for me, the fact that he stiffened up when Grisha hugged him in the Paths is Something and the fact that his death is literally him prompting Levi to kill him to cut the connection between Ymir and the Jaeger blood becomes a lot more skeevey once you start putting the whole picture together.

Obviously I don’t believe Isayama intended anything serious by it or we would’ve seen something when Eren and Zeke were going through the man’s memories but irl to me it reads like some seriously fucked up long-term conditioning and childhood abuse.

[ridingthatd]

◕◔ RYOMEN TWINS I

◔◕ itadorixfem!reader, sukunaxfem!reader, nsfw, heavy smut, twins breeding you, possessive, kinky asf part 1

the ryomen twins were known around the whole kingdom- more like they were feared by the whole kingdom, they hold a power no one could compare to, no one as much as dares to make eye contact with them- fearing for their life, they could destroy an entire nation just by lifting a finger- and nobody want to experience the agony of disobeying or displeasing them in anyway.

even though the twins look identically alike- they're the complete opposite of each other, after working for such a long time for them- the longest anyone worked under them without "suddenly" dying or got brutally killed. you learned to tell the difference between them.

sukuna ryomen. such a heartless man, who you can barely get a reaction out of- at first you always thought how can someone be so psychotic, how can someone hold so much evil in them, but you learned to accept it by time, you learned to live with seeing him take a bath- soaking in a solution of cursed energy formed from crushing and straining venemous creatures.

sukuna ryomen. was rough with the way he treated you, rough in a way he wouldn't care to ask about your opinion or care to open his mouth and tell you what he pleased- he would simply harshly pick you up by his lower four arms, make you sit uncomfortably with him in the disgusting of a bath- watching your every move as you gently scrub on his rough skin, and what always seem to leave you fascinated was the vibration that always leaves from his chest everytime you scrub him- purring like a huge beast. resting his huge face on the swollen of your breast as he breaths you in.

itadori yuji. he was the complete opposite of his brother, he held such a nice energy around him, he was never harsh nor aggressive in anyway towards you, he had such a gentle soul- that's at least how you felt, he would treat you like a delicate flower with so much gentility, you loved having silly little conversations with him, you loved the small walks he would walk with you- even as much as help you with laundry that he knew nothing about.

itadori yuji. he would always yell at his brother as soon as he takes a look at the finger marks he left behind from picking you up here and then, like a ragdoll- you could be doing dishes, sukuna make his way toward hold you 7 feets up the ground sniff you then place you down with a thud. itadori seems to hate it as he frowns at the marks rubbing them gently, he even goes as far as placing a kiss on them letting his lips linger there while his pink warm tongue peak out licking wetly- he makes an unbearable eye contact with you.

your heart pounds in your chest, as you hear yelling coming from itadoris office- you never ever heard itadori yelling the way he's yelling right now and it made you feel so uneasy, it made you wanna run and hide far away. you flinch once you hear the door open and loud footsteps echos in the hallway- the hallway you were in, mopping the floor.

from the shadow that's coming your way- you can tell it was sukuna with his two extra arms that his brother didn't have- or as they say he didn't wanna show. you tightly shut your eyes, holding the wooden mop praying to goddess that he would just to go his room.

but even the goddess couldn't save you from sukunas shadow that now tour over you- you can feel his warm breath on your neck as he leans in, sniffing you as always- but this time he didn't hold you nor pick you up.

you flinch again as you hear itadoris office door slam open and fast heavy foot steps comes directly your way. it was itadori- you couldn't recognize him, he look furious like a beast who was set out of the cage for the first time. glaring at sukuna.

" I fucking told you to stay away from her." he growls out, fuming at the mouth, sukuna rolls his eyes as he steps away from you and continue his way toward his bedroom yelling out a-

"I didn't touch her brother, have it however you want" that makes itadoris eyes snap to you- grabbing your arms harshly for the first time- scanning you for any marks that his brother could have left behind.

it looks like he wasn't satisfied as he picks you, holding you to tightly- to close to your liking you can feel his hard chest pressed harshly against your soft boobs- hard nipples, as he makes his way toward his bedroom closing the door loudly behind him.

he throws you on his bed, making you gasp- as you bounce, not letting you have enough time to process what's happening as he continues his scan- roughly holding your hips, pressing hard against the bed, not letting you move.

you were confused why, when was he this harsh, his soft touch were long forgotten as he hold you so painfully that you couldn't help but choke out a-

"it hurts" that seems to snap him out of it, as his eyes look at you gently and his touch loosen up a bit- looking at you worriedly but whatever his next thought was, it made his eyes darken again, his grip harden, fingers squeezing your hips, earning a pained groan from you.

"why? don't you like that" he whispers harshly against your ear as he leans in, you frown confused on what does he mean by that, you feel his warm breath against your sensitive neck, making you move your hips, trying to escape whatever is going on.

itadori trail his nose slowly down your ear taking deep breaths in, feeling his lips brush against your neck as he do, your heart is pounding as he settle one of his thick legs between your thigh, while the other is outside- caging you in.

"I don't think I quite understand what you mean, my lord." you gasp out, feeling him place his lips on the sensitive part of your neck, while his nose rub gently making it ticklish. itadori lean back to look you in the eyes- his eyes were dark, pupils expanded, staring at you hazely, as if he got drunk on your scent that he was sniffing in.

his eyes trails to your lips, your heart thumps-thumps as he leans in brushing his nose against yours still maintaining eye contact- his mouth half-open just like yours.

"I will show you" he growls out before he fully leans in and take your lips between his teeth- tugging them into his mouth, to meet his warm tongue that peak out to cares your lips, wetting them with his spit- before he fully take your lower lip in, and start sucking on it, making a hot loud wet sound,

this doesn't seem to be enough for him as he leans more in, pushing his knee into your sensitive cunt, making you moan into his mouth which only seems to drive him even more crazy, pushing his knee deeper just like his tongue that makes its way in your mouth just to meet yours.

circling wetly around it, it made you feel so light headed, the way he sucked your tongue into his mouth lapping on it likes he's a new born baby, you whimper into his mouth not realizing that you starting to arch your already dripping cunt into his knee.

"wanna breed you" itadori rasps out, as he break his tongue away from yours staring at the wet string that still connect your mouth together, he grinds his knee into your aching cunt, breathing hard against your lips.

"wanna fuck you" you whimper, your fingers tugging on his hair, letting your tongue out- in intention to tell him that you want his tongue inside your mouth again.

this move of yours drived him crazy, making him groan as he harshly gives you his tongue again swirling it around yours, while he line his throbbing cock against your leaking cunt, grabbing the hem of your dress and pulling it up- grinding against your panties only.

yours lips disconnect again with a wet pop sound, as yuji trail his rough large hands under your dress making their way toward your aching nipples- twisting them against his fingers.

"wanna be inside of you now" he moans out more like to himself- his hips thrusting crazily against yours, it was to much force- to inhuman, it made you bounce hard against the bed, you couldn't do anything but grab on his hair for support- which only seemed to make yuji go even more psychotic.

"fuck, want to feel your wet cunt on my face" he growls out, flipping you so fast- that he was laying down as you straddle his face, your panties was ripped into half by itadoris teeth- like it offended him for hiding your cunt from him.

he slapped your ass so hard- you were sure it was going to leave a purple mark, you cry out, "fuck sorry won't do it again" he coo at you rubbing the spot- but he lied, he does it again and again and again, your pussy was so wet, dripping, drenched as you ride your lords face, you can slide on his face from how wet it was with your juice.

slap, slap, slap, your ass was covered with purple hand marks "more-" he laps on your 5th orgasm, "I want fucking more of this sweet little cunt" he growls out eating your cunt up eagerly, your body was limp on top of his face, your full body weight was set on his face- but he only seemed to enjoy it.

"please no more i can't-" he slurps on your clit holding your thighs hard against his face, you choke on your sobs, "I can't please- please".

he gently stroke your ass, as he mutters out "one more", and you give him exactly what he asked for, squirting all over your lords face- it was to much pleasure, you were trying to move your hips away, but he held your thighs locked into his face not freeing you till he licked every single last drop.

you thought it was over as he place you down on the bed- but you judged to quick as you take a look at his ragging cock that was covered with his own cum, seeds leaking out cumming just from eating your delicious cunt out.

your cunt clench once itadori reveals his huge cock, wanting to be filled by it, "please please" you pathetically spread your thighs, showing him your puffy red pussy from being sucked by him.

"you want me to fuck you? you want to be fucked by your lord?" he darkly questions out as he lines his cock, pushing fully in before you got time to answer.

dark, all you can see is dark, pleasure, all you can feel is pleasure, as you open your eyes gasping for air, to see itadori thrusting his hips inside of you, so fast- so hard, chanting to himself.

"fuck you're so tight, so tight" he moans out drool drips from his mouth to yours, it was to hot, to hot, "I'm going to fill with my cum, you want it? you want it?" he crazily questions as he lock his hips with yours, hovering over you, grabbing your chin just to shove his tongue deep inside your mouth, fucking it just like he's fucking your pussy.

"fuck fuck gonna fill you fuuuuuck" he growls as you feel hot cum hit your womb, you twitch underneath him, it was all to much for you- for you little human body.

itadori didn't pull out his cock was spilling since forever, still spilling even as it leaks out into his bed sheets- you whimper, as you feel him rock his hips, fucking his cum into you.

he coo at you, kissing your sweaty forehead before he pulls out, and spread your thighs just to grin crazily as he looks at the way your red puffy pussy was dripping with his cum.

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ to be continued?₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ

: ̗̀➛ part 2 is 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

[unknownplane]

The Court Jester Part 1

Yandere Batfam x GN Reader

Pt. 2, Pt. 3, Pt. 4

"How did this happen?" the man who claimed to be my father asked.

"It started when I was young. My mother was close friends with Bruce Wayne. So when she died, he decided to take me in. Looking back on it now, I can tell it was just so he could have a piece of her even though she was gone. He, like many other men were infatuated with the idea of her and what could happen if they had her. That is how I came along. Someone couldn't keep their hands to themselves. Nobody, but my father knows that they are my father. We have tried finding him before, but there has been no luck.

I was 4 when I was brought to the manor. Bruce, overwhelmed with anguish, couldn't even look at me as I had my mother's features. Alfred showed me around. I even got to meet my new brother Richard, better known as Dick. An accurate nickname because as soon as he met me, he decided he did not want to be around me. That was fine. I was still dealing with the loss of my mother. As time went on, I felt as if I was forgotten. Bruce was busy throwing himself into "work" and he only needed Dicks help. It didn't take me long to figure out who he was. With all the bruises and tension around the house when things got bad in Gotham anyone living in that house could tell he was Batman. He had claimed he didn't want me to get hurt that's why he never asked for help but I knew it was because I looked like mom. I had her (h/c) (h/t) hair and her (e/c) eyes.

A couple of years later, a new boy came into the mix. His name was Jason Todd. He was okay. He didn't really know when to stop, though. I heard a lot of fights between him and Bruce. He talked to me sometimes when we had time. I was in school getting good grades and he was a Robin so we didn't have much time for each other. But then he died, and I had no one again. Even when he did come back, he came back changed he no longer cared for me. He was harsh. Ruined.

Then there was Tim Drake. He was really nice at the beginning, but he got busy and sleep deprived, so I stopped reaching out. I didn't want to take up his time as he had an actual job.

Then Stephanie Brown came, and I realized that there was a pattern. These people were too busy for me. I should stay out of their way and not be a burden as I have proven to be before.

It was like that until Damian came. He was unlike all the other Robins. He was mean and brutal. It was around this time that I started to reach out to the family. I had realized I had severe depression and self esteem issue from being the only one in this family that did not excel at anything. When I reached out, he was the one who but me back in my place. He was the one who told me to stay in the background where I belonged. And I might have if I was still the child that came here unwillingly at 3 years old, but I am no longer that child. I am an adult who has a degree in psychology and has a stable job. So I left.

When I first moved out, the first person I told was my online friend. I had been in contact with him since I was 5. He was like a father to me. He was very happy for me and told me, "You are finally free from that dreadful house!" and I couldn't agree more. I stayed in contact with him over the years, and our bond strengthened.

Then, one day, not even a month after I left the manor, he asked to meet up. I agreed. We met up at an abandoned wearhouse. He had told me he was a wanted man, so I did not mind. When I saw him, my face lit up as did his. We talked about a lot of things that night. One of which was if I wanted to help him in his endeavor. Chaos. And I gladly agreed as I would do anything for him as he was my father.

He soon started training me. Making sure I could deal with pain and know how to fight. The first week was agony, but then we both realized something. No matter how badly I was injured, it never had reproductions as the injuries would heal almost supernaturally. So soon, we started experimenting. Of course, I still felt pain, but anything for my dad. We found that no matter what happened to me, I couldn't die.

Then, I became strong enough to take part in one of his acts. Which leads us to now. Dies that answer your question?" I say, looking into the desperate eyes of The Batman with an elongated smile. Glee shined in my eyes as I finally had his attention.

"But SHHHH dad doesn't want to know your secret identity! Says it would ruin all the fun!" I proclaim. My teeth are fully showing as I giggle.

"What did I do wrong?" Bruce whispers to himself. As if he didn't already know. This was all his fault, and now the last piece he had of (M/N) was out of reach.

-------------------------------------------------------

Hello!! This is my first time writing on Tumbler and just wanted to say Hi. Please let me know if you want this to continue. If it does, updates would probably be slow as I am in college and am using this as an artistic outlet. Thank you so much for reading!!

[klausysworld]

reader and klaus just had an massive argument and he kicks her out the house and invites cami over , reader ends up getting attacked badly in the middle of the night by one of klaus enemies and she calls him and he ignores all the calls until he listens to the voicemail in the morning only to find yn but it’s too late

The Ache Of Agony

Everything had been blown out of proportion. Y/N was a mess of tears and yelling whilst Klaus's paranoia was flaring. Within seconds Klaus had stopped thinking with his heart, looking at her like an enemy instead of his lover. Something to fight not fight for.

He had to get her out of that house before he hurt her; killed her.

However even once she was gone his mind was spinning. She hadn't meant to but she had caused a small sum of pain to him, put his family in danger and for that his mind told him to make her hurt.

Which was how Camille ended up at his house, lashes batting prettily as she sat beside him, leaning into him gradually. One of his hands was tense against the back of her neck, his body unsure how to respond between the battle of his head and heart as his lips neared the blonde's.

Their mouths finally met with a lack of passion on his end meanwhile she relished in finally having what she desired. His eyes only closed for a second before they were open, the look in them distant as he pulled away and let her rest her forehead against his.

The buzz of his phone vibrated against the table making him glance to see Y/N's name. Guilt crawled up his throat like a thousand tiny legs and he felt his arm reach out to grab the device but Cami's beat him to it. She clicked the button on the side and turned the phone face-down, pushing it to be forgotten.

Camille didn't stay as long as she'd hoped, Klaus couldn't go through with what his irrational mind had originally conjured up and he wound up back alone on the couch with his head in his hands.

Drink and drugs filled his body in an attempt to gorget his mistakes but in doing so he forgot her. The phone call and the dozen more that followed.

Morning had long passed before Klaus woke up face down, fully clothed against his bed. Elijah had been the one to drag Klaus downstairs, lecturing about his behaviour. One brief mention of Y/N's name was enough to spark a memory, the faint vision of his phone lighting up for the tenth time whilst his head was spinning a hundred different ways.

Klaus stood up fast, too fast. His body ached to throw up as the blood rushed up but he fought against it and ran for his phone, ignoring Elijah's impatient calling.

"No, no, no, no." He muttered, panic finally setting in as he clicked on the list of voicemails left from her only to be flooded with pure and utter dread when the haunting echo of her screams left the speaker.

Elijah's voice died down and the brother stood in a deathly silence as he pressed the next one. The familiar voice of a couple witches they had been antagonised by were laughing, mocking Y/N's agony as they tortured those cries from her one smiling lips.

"We need Davina, now." Klaus announced though the crack in his voice wasn't missed and Elijah was moving immediately.

Y/N had been looked at fondly by the vampires of New Orleans, wolves too via Hayley. There wasn't a bad word to say about her, so when hearing she was missing and most likely stung up in stitches, everyone was there to bring her home.

Five broken barriers and a covens worth of witches later and they finally had her within reach and yet nobody moved to pull her free of those chains.

Not when her throat was already slit, her body torn open down to her navel. Blood painting her skin, dripping down to the floor in a platter of abstract.

Klaus's heart ached so much he'd rather have had it torn out a hundred times over.

His steps were hollow against the ground as his trembling hands raised to tear apart the shackles that held her wrists up, dangling her from the ceiling like a butcher would a pig.

His arms caught her body with a broken cry, knees giving out but he didn't dare let her touch the floor. She was still warm against him, although that could have just been the blood, still her limbs were still soft and he could still curl her body against his and pretend for just a second longer that she was alive and snuggled up to him in bed like she should have been that night before.

Rebekah's hand touched his shoulder but the whimper that left his throat made Elijah pull her away. "Not yet." He uttered, his own voice struggling to maintain the usual stoicism it held. The other vampires hung their heads in grief, listening to the sobs Klaus Mikaelson whilst Marcel encouraged them to step away and let the family grieve.

Only a few had began to move when a sharp gasp reached each corner of the room.

A sound of terror leaving both Klaus and Y/N when her body lurched to some sort of life. She pushed him off, screaming with fear and confusion. Klaus's hands flew up in an attempt to show no harm and the other vampires were forcefully removed from the building to give her a moment.

Eventually her mind recognised her wrists were free, her insides were intact and the physical torture was gone; only psychological left.

Coming to the realisation she was a vampire hit her too hard after everything else she had gone through in the past hours. All her senses were running too high, causing her to spiral erratically.

Nobody could touch her, talking to her was proving just as difficult and it was eating Klaus up.

Hours dragged by but every minute was another minute closer to truly losing her forever. Klaus was given a glimpse of what her death would do to him and he knew that he couldn't let her go. He would give anything to go back and just let her yell at him, to have just forgiven her and make it up to each other. Or to at least have been the one to leave so that she could have remained safe at home. Instead he threw her out to fend for herself, an angel in a land of monsters.

Exhaustion wrapped its way back around Y/N as her end started to sink in. As her last grains of strength crumbled down the drain, Klaus was finally able to get close enough to hold her red-stained hand. He could feel her inner conflict to pull away or accept his comfort, she was scared and he understood that but he couldn't hold her lifeless body for the second time in 24 hours.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered, careful not to speak too loud and irritate her heightened senses. Y/N's eyes were full of such a sadness he had never seen in her before. "Please let me bring you home, if you won't transition, at least be somewhere safe? Somewhere that's not here." He pleaded with her, hoping that of he got her home he could sway her decision.

Lucky for him, she didn't want to see that room for a minute longer than necessary. She couldn't have those walls be the last walls she ever see.

Being back in their bed, her bloody body staining the sheets as she shook worse than a leave on an autumn's night, was so much better than that floor.

The gentle touch of his fingertips on the side of her arm was the most amount of comfort she would accept so it was what he would give. The mere mention of turning shut her down but when her skin started greying, desiccating, Klaus couldn't just watch.

She whimpered a cry when the beautiful taste slipped down her throat, her vision blocked by tears as the hunger vampires had always described to her devoured her whole.

Klaus was finally able to get his arms around her as he felt her submit to the urges and drain blood bag after blood bag that he handed to her.

Klaus had to push the guilt down, he would have to survive her resentment, he would live with her hating him just so long as he never had to hear or see her in that kind of pain again.

He would never be the cause of that, not ever again.

[inkskinned]

they keep the silverware in the same place. you forget about it a little bit when you move out, but during the holidays, it comes back. the way you smooth over your life for them, a gentle reckoning.

for a while, you tried to find yourself by being wild. throwing your body at the emergency exit. finding comfort in the sharpness of a held breath. you used to write wake up on the inside of your wrist. you couldn't calculate the weight of your own sorrow, only that nobody was looking at the anchor of it. you tried maladaptive coping mechanisms like catnip. got caught half-in half-out of them. felt, weirdly, like you should be embarrassed of all of it.

but it does get better. mostly it's just that you become a priority to yourself. it turns out that lending yourself the ragged edge is just cutting open more marrow. for a while, it felt good to see a physical representation of inward agony. but who was that punishing? you learned, slowly (so slowly it was almost invisible sometimes) that you could put love into the wound instead. that the floor was comfortable because it was certain - but it was cold, and unwanting. instead there is a warm bed. you learn to treat yourself like a kid again. gentle-parent yourself into the shower and over breakfast and into laughing without effort. you do wake up.

but then you come home again, and it is like everything is a strange kaleidoscope of childhood moments. here is how you inherited your mother's anxiety. there is the same music playing, and you can't sit down without worrying you forgot to do something. your mother's clipped words and hovering hands - are you sure? are you sure? birdlike, you find yourself seeing unwell and still end up repeating.

here is your father's anger. you are 16 again. there was a moment where you remember thinking - holy shit. i am so much more emotionally mature than you. how you have to talk him down from minor inconveniences, how you parent him like an errant and spoiled toddler who can't be told no, and i mean it. you feel the warp of you. why you can't be in the same room as people having a completely normal conflict. why your skin crawls if there's ever a hint of a fight. why you live with your hands up, placating. and god forbid you get angry. you feel that little spoiled kid rage against the iron will of you. not you, not your hands. you would rather cut your own tongue out of your head, no matter how valid her argument is.

and you're so fucking far from where you were as a kid. you've done so much healing. and there's this little sad part of you that can see the shadow of your past, and your hands wrapped into each other so tightly you made your knuckles white. and how much your parents are just people, and haven't changed much, and still keep the spoons in the drawer to the right.

there is a long dark tunnel here, and it has a name, but you haven't learned how to process that kind of speech yet. close the cabinet. make a note to go get more oat milk. close your eyes.

this place was never home, was it.

[prettymeredith]

Fantasy of the Day: The Ticklish Dancer

"Nobody's gonna come looking for you? You told everyone you'd be staying late tonight after dance rehearsal? Mhm, such a good girl."

My dance instructor has been bugging me for weeks for slme extra 1 on 1 lessons after class. Now alone, strapped up in an empty dance studio, it wasn't hard to figure out why.

"Sensitive honey? Aww, always thought you had a cute laugh, now I get you all to myself. None of those pesky peers of yours getting in the way, asking about their pirouette."

I guess all those times streching my calf muscles on her shoulders made me too trusting. Now I was stuck here, tickled by a sassy older woman, teasing me, and having her way with my feet.

"Ever wonder what your feet smile like after a couple of hours at class? Haha~ Yeah, that's what you smell like. Yummy huh? I think so."

She wasn't lying about her affinity for my sweaty dance feet. Quickly inserting my toes in her mouth, and tickling my arches before I even knew how to react.

"Qwff!? Hwahafhwahafhaf!! Hnm mhy Gwdd!!"

My giggles echoed around the empty dance studio. I could feel my cheeks flushing as my instructor ticklishky ran her mouth and fingers all over the soles of my sweaty feet.

"Nwhhh! Hnnhff!! Sthawwppfft, hnhmhnhff!!"

"Oh hush, that any way to talk to your instructor? We got at least a couple more hours of your private lesson to get through. But if thats how it's gonna be, I have my ways of shuttin' you up."

I couldn't even apologize before having her damp dance socks stripped and stuff into my mouth; moist with all of the shuffle steps, axel turns, high kicks she'd done since that morning.

"Hmm, now where was I? Mhmm... See, isn't that much better?" She teased picking right back up with tickling me to shattered pieces.

"Hmmhnmhnm!! Gmmnnhh!!? Hnhmhnhnhh!"

My instructor's own pleasured laughter and giggles echoed louder than my own from under the gag. I was trapped, watching her enjoy herself with a spark of enjoyment and arousal I'd never seen from her before.

Her obsession with my feet was unparalleled. From toe sucking to arch nibbling, to frenzied tickle torture that felt unbearable. The agony of my ticklish peril fueling her to go on.

"Don't hide it sweetheart, I can see it wrritren all over that adorable face of yours. You're enjoying this as much as I am, if not more."

"You had your suspicions, but you stayed late anyway. You let me stock you up. You didn’t fight when I stuffed my socks in your mouth."

Neither her tickles or her teases as she imposed her affection for me and my feet over the course of the evening. Humiliating me to my core, tickling me silly, and calling me out on my own arousal.

The inner confliction between regret and continued interest as she touched and prodded exposed skin. Her smile and judgmental gazes making me blush everytime I glanced at her face.

"Alright dollface, that was fun. I'll come back in a few hours to get you. Don't miss me too much."

[leaawrites]

Silence and Peace

Percy Jackson x fem!reader

Summary: Y/n doesn't like Percy very much, until one quiet night changes everything.

Warnings: use of Y/n, female reader, kinda suggestive, no specific cabin,

Wordcount: 1.8k

I'm back! If you have any requests or whatever, send them in! Though I might need a while to finish stuff right now :(

Btw, thinking of making a part 2 of this? What do you think?

Masterlist

In the quiet hours of Camp Half Blood, when all campers were asleep and nobody could disturb her peace, Y/n sat on the beach. Watching the waves crash against the shore longingly like they were her second home. She watched the ocean come and go. She watched the sand cover her feet and making her sink deeper every time a wave came to her. For her, that was freedom. Long hours of silence. A peace so immaculate nobody could blame her for it. Nobody could make her drown in agony in those moments.

Not even Percy Jackson, Son of Poseidon. The boy who watched her from afar one night and couldn’t look away ever since. He watched her helping other campers with a mesmerizing look in his eyes. One that screamed at everyone walking past, “that is gonna be my girl.”

And if she loved the ocean so much, she would love him the same, right? Wrong. She wasn’t his girl. She never even though about being his girl. He was always just Percy Jackson. The boy who bullied her for being older but still smaller than him. It wasn’t even that much of time between them. Seven months. Seven months was enough for him to make fun of her. Because Percy had no idea how to get a girls attention otherwise.

So that was his plan. Make her hate him if that was the only way for him to talk to her. Stupid boy.

Percy was stupid; you could ask about a dozen people and they would agree. He wasn’t dumb, but stupid. That kind of stupid that would get defeated by Annabeth after being distracted by a girl walking by. That kind of stupid that would stumble over his own feet when she approached him to complete her duties at camp. That kind of stupid that walked over to her one night and sat down next to her with nothing but static silence and the rapid sound of his heartbeat in his head. He was stupid in love.

“Why do you always watch the ocean but never go in?” He asked, scaring the girl and making her look at him wide eyed.

“I-” she began talking before shutting up. Every time she saw him, she prepared herself to get a snarky remark out of his mouth instead of a civil conversation. Though now he talked to her like a normal person. He talked to her like they were friends. “What are you doing here?”

Percy chuckled, averting his eyes from the moon towards her. Eyes sparkling, a kind of tiredness filling his face. “I don’t think you should be the one asking.”

It wasn’t meant mean. It wasn’t meant harmful in any way. However Y/n received enough comments with the same tone to roll her eyes and look away from him in annoyance. In her head, he wasn’t there to keep her company or even - dare I say - comfort. He was only there to annoy and tease her.

“Look, Percy, I was really enjoying my peace before you came, so maybe, would you be so kind, and leave me alone. Just this once. In the morning you can say whatever you wanna say to me, just not tonight,” she said, pulling her knees to her chest and letting her head rest on them, her voice tired and stifled.

Percy looked at the girl like she was going insane. Like somehow she murdered three people and wasn’t afraid for him to be the next. Which, Percy assumed, probably was one thought in her head at the moment. Even when he could never imagine her doing harm to anyone or anything. She was the smart, kind, classy girl in camp. The sweet, blooming field of flowers that everyone adored. Him included. He adored her.

“You know, when I’m seeking peace at night, I also visit the ocean,” he told her, making her look up at him. She was surprised he was still sat next to her, talking in tranquility. It felt foreign, yet normal in a fascinating sense to her. A person can be so different at night. Or was it only because he was at peace now? “Lately it felt like I visited a girl as well.”

It took her a moment, but then she understood what he meant. This wasn’t the first time he came here. It was, however, the first time he made himself known, which surprised her. When you think of Percy Jackson the first adjectives would be sarcastic, extroverted and brave not shy, calm and soft. At least not to her.

“You were watching me?” She asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and, what Percy assumed to be disgust, but actually it was surprise. Y/n was surprised that he seemed interested in her.

“I also like to swim, but that wasn’t possible since you occupied the ocean’s attention for most of the time,” he told her, sighing in acted sadness.

Y/n laughed at his terrible performance, making him smile in return. “You should’ve just walked past. I would’ve been gone in a second if I knew it was you.”

Something in that sentence made Percy’s heart drop. Maybe it was the face that she would’ve been gone. Or maybe it was because she would’ve been gone because it was him. Anyway, something about it made him uncomfortable in his own skin.

“You also could’ve stayed,” he told her, not looking at her, missing the soft smile and tender look dancing in her eyes. “Bet you wouldn’t have minded seeing me without a shirt.” There it was. The comment she waited for, combined with the smirk she knew all too well. Percy was terrible at flirting and she wouldn’t have said what she eventually did if they hadn’t been all alone at this hour.

“Maybe I wouldn’t have.”

Percy’s mouth stood open with surprise, while she shrugged nonchalant and bit her lower lip to suppress a laugh that wanted to escape her so badly. The boy wasn’t used to her actually jump on the joke and tease him back, though he couldn’t deny that he somehow liked it.

After a moment of thinking, he took his chance. Pulling his shirt over his head and making his way towards the water, he turned to her with a smirk. “Well, if that’s the case.”

Y/n wanted to watch the beach, she came specifically to this place to do just that. Watch the waves and the shore and the sky and the moon. Though now her eyes were focusing on something else. She watched Percy dip in the water, breaking the surface, with such gentleness, she wanted him to touch her just the same. She watched him swim for a bit. Watched him look at her and act like he was being attacked to get a laugh out of her. His head sticking out of the water to watch her reaction. When he saw her enjoying his company for once, he smiled back. It was nice knowing to be the reason for one’s happiness. Especially someone you wanted to make happy every day.

As he came back, Y/n tried to keep her focus on the moon, only betraying her quest when Percy sat down next to her again. Shirt still laying next to him.

Percy turned his head, only in time to catch her eyes traveling over his now shivering body. The night air hitting his skin with discomfort.

“You should put your shirt back on or you’re gonna get sick,” she said, looking at him. Her eyes catching a water drop sliding down his face and following it. He ignored her comment but still put his shirt back on.

“When you said that you would’ve gone if I was to just walk past and into the water, was that only because of me or would you have gone if any other person would’ve been in my position?” He asked her, making her look away from him again. She didn’t answer though Percy knew the answer now. “You don’t like me very much.”

“It’s hard to like you, when you constantly try to embarrass me,” she said, finally. Finally she didn’t just walk past him, ignoring his comments like they weren’t meant for her. Though it was obvious to everyone.

“I’m not trying to embarrass you,” Percy admitted. Grover was right, he thought.

After he finally told someone about his crush on the girl, Grover was quick to educate him that that wasn’t the way to get a girlfriend. “I was just trying to get your attention,” he admitted quietly.

Y/n laughed at that, her hand over her mouth. “Why would you want my attention?” She asked him.

“What?” Percy didn’t understand how that seemed so impossible to the girl next to him.

“Percy, be serious. You couldn’t possibly want my attention so bad. I mean, why would you? You have the attention of all the girls, why mine?”

Percy had never been so mad at himself and at her too. He wanted to tell her that he was just joking. He wanted to tell her that he had no idea why he wanted her. But the truth was he knew. He laid awake enough nights asking himself the same question. Then again, he was mad at her for thinking that. He was mad again at her that she couldn’t see all what he saw in her in herself.

“I like you, okay? I really do. I like the way you talk kindly to everyone and I like your smile and your cleverness. I like that you’re always there for everyone and that you listen to me even though I’ve been horrible to you,” he told her it all. Everything that he thought about he told her. “I like your bubbly personality and how you can’t seem to stand normal after staying up for a moment. I like how messy you are and yet put together. I like your face and your eyes and you. I like you for how you are.”

“Well, Jackson, your strategy isn’t really good. I mean, teasing a girl to get her attention usually just works in books,” she told him.

Percy couldn’t believe it. He just poured her a cup of his heart and she decides to dump it into the ocean.

“But this is nice,” she eventually added. “I like this side of you. The quite and vulnerable one. The one who’s flirty and sarcastic in a lovable way. The one who fakes his death to make me laugh.”

“What does that mean now?” Maybe she didn’t dump it all in the ocean. Only a part of it. The part she didn’t like.

“It means that if you show me more of that side, I could eventually start liking you too. Would that be alright?” She asked hoping for a yes and a agreement from him.

She got more though. She got a relieved ‘yes’, a promise and a smiling and blushing boy.

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

time traveling ballpit: "into the pit." don't you fuckin tell me it wasn't time travel, they call it the "time-traveling ballpit" IN the ultimate guide that is a CANON descriptor

spring bonnie replaces some kid's dad in real life: "into the pit." we dont talk about that enough that's the REAL funny part of the short

plushtrap gets hit by a train: "out of stock." pretty self-explanatory. also had human eyes and teeth

funtime foxy taxi driver: "room for one more." it's the first nightmare this dude has and so you're not even expecting it and suddenly funtime foxy is just THERE

never explaining what the FUCK "the new kid" ending was about: if you've read it you know what i mean

springtrap mpreg: "in the flesh." i know the proper fandom term is matpat mpreg but the man's retiring let's cut him a little bit of slack

afton fuckin explodes: "the man in room 1280." i was noooot fucking expecting THAT

fazgoo: "he told me everything." i think the name speaks for itself

PUPPET FORKLIFT RAMMING INTO 15FT AGONY AFTON MECH: "the cliffs epilogue." why did nobody warn me about that one. everyone warned me about the mpreg and the ballpit and nobody about charlie being strapped to a forklift in the attempt to push the giant 15ft afton mech screaming "I AM AGONY" like an edgy teenager into a fucking lake to drown him. this one's my favorite personally. charlie forklift certified

9yo burns "just say no" onto drug dealer's forehead for kicks: "gumdrop angel epilogue." they set that shit up like jake was gonna kill the guy but instead he took the WAY funnier option

sea bonnies: "sea bonnies." sea bonnies.

michael in the bushes: "you're the band." michael loses animatronic freddy's possessed head and stalks the person who bought it, digs through her attic and hides in her bushes, and then follows her to a new house and hides in her bushes AGAIN. then when her kid is kidnapped he drives her down to freddy's in an awkwardly silent car ride, saves her kid from puppet tentacles, and explains nothing

[sundaycentric]

⌢  ⌢ yandere gojo x gn reader

␥ content — yandere, drabble, sfw, predator/prey ?, forced proximity, forced dependency, gojo is a bitch, gojo gets someone to (attempt to) hurt you, gojo treats you like a naive pet ... 760 words

Your feet ache. It feels like they are bleeding, and each time your heel hits the ground, you swear you can feel your skin tear and blister. Despite the pain, your desperation and adrenaline kept you running. You kept scurrying away, as your current agony was far, far more light compared to what awaited you if you stopped. Deep down, though, you knew you would suffer the same fate. All you were doing was delaying the inevitable: when he caught you.

Gojo never cared much for your pathetic attempts at escaping. You'd normally never get far, as he would always be able to you before you could truly begin running. Gojo would let you feel like you finally were about to do it, before shattering your dreams and taking you in his arms once more. He only laughed as you cried, and paid no mind to your weak hands hitting his chest. You were nothing compared to his strength, and no amount of fighting could get him away.

That is until you slipped away this morning. Somehow, Gojo didn't know that you were running away. Miraculously, his attention was elsewhere, and you could tell it was something serious. At least, more serious than you, since he hadn't been pestering you as much. You took your chances, and you ran. You could actually make it this time.

You didn't doubt that Gojo noticed your absence within a few minutes of you being gone, so you had to waste no time. You quickly stumbled around the buildings, taking you to the outskirts where only forest and sparse houses remained. You had left no trace of your direction, as far as you could tell, so there was no way he'd be able to trace you down. You wouldn't run into him.

But you would run into other people. Your aching feet forced you to slow down slightly. You panted slightly, making sure to survey the surroundings around you. That's when you spot someone. It wasn't Gojo. They turned around and noticed you pretty quickly. You softly smiled: perhaps they'd help you. You stumbled closer to them, desperate for some sort of shelter to hide in temporarily.

They smiled back as you came closer. You opened your mouth to speak before falling silent. They had a knife and had brought it up to you. It rested on your shoulder, the blade staring at your neck. They tightly gripped onto your weak, exhausted body. You couldn't move: you were overpowered, tired, and in shock. The person spoke up, "Has nobody ever told you to not trust strangers? You shouldn't be wandering around this late, especially looking so vulnerable. Don't worry, I'll make this quick."

Their smile grew wider as the knife grew closer. The tip caressed your skin. You shut your eyes, knowing you couldn't do anything as it came closer. Closer. Closer. And then it stopped.

You paused for a moment before opening your eyes. There was a hand around the person's throat. The one behind quickly through them to the ground and scooped you up. He caressed your neck, where a small, shallow cut lay. You recognized his hands, his touch. Gojo had found you. Part of you wished you had just died by the stranger, while another part of you was actually happy to see him.

Gojo hugged you to his chest before looking at the person on the ground. Gojo's hands that were comforting you gently cupped your ears, blocking your hearing for a moment. He said to the person, "You weren't supposed to cut them, idiot. Leave before I change my mind about staying true to my end of the deal." His voice was slightly mocking. He watched with a smile as the person left, before redirecting his attention to you.

Gojo moved his hands to your cheeks as he stared at you. He kissed the tip of your forehead. His voice was soft, but in a faux, manipulative way, "You shouldn't have run away. Do you see how dangerous it is out there? You're lucky to be with me, where I won't hurt you, yeah? It's okay, I forgive you. It was my fault for leaving a dumb pet alone without a caretaker." You only cried. You didn't know if it was from the fear of being killed, the slightly sting on your neck, or the fact that you'd been caught. But he was right, wasn't he? He didn't hurt you. Gojo loved you.

"You ran away because I wasn't giving you enough attention," He said. It was less of a question and more of a statement, trying to convince you that that was the reason you ran. He smiled wider.

"Let's go home now."

[mayearies]

ꨄ BONCHINCHE HOUR .. miles g. morales ⟡

󠀠󠀠󠀠󠀠󠀠󠀠 “my ma can be really chatty sometimes. she talks her own ear off.”

✦ synopsis you never took rio for someone who would talk a lot. she seemed pretty closeted and quiet around everyone else but her son. well, i guess today you saw that side of her for the first time

✦ genre giggles

✦ disclaimer possible innacurate spanish, possible rio ooc, lazy maye alert ALSO CREDITS TO DALIA FOR THE NAME SORRY SORRY

✦ translations ¿me estás culpando por esto? / are you blaming me for this?

“seriously? she doesn’t seem like one to talk much.” miles’ soft and relaxed expression remained as he was focused on the movie you two were supposed to be watching, “trust me. once you know her like i do, that’ll change.”

you didn’t believe him a whole lot. she wasn’t hostile or anything towards you—a few how are you’s and you would go your separate ways. “mhm.”

“hey! don’t doubt me.” he pouted, tickling your stomach making you squirm. “now go get us some popcorn so we can watch this movie.” you raised an eyebrow and nodded with a laugh under your breath.

walking into the kitchen, ms. morales was leaning against the counter drinking some tea. she looked like he had just gotten off of a shift. well, this would be a little awkward. “oh! hi, ms. morales. sorry i didnt- i didnt expect you to be back home this early.”

“hm? oh no, they let me leave early tonight,” she chucked under her breath as she sipped, “needed that break anyway. what’re you and miles doing up so late?”

“just planning to watch a movie. i picked out a horror movie and he hesitated. yet, he tryna pick fights with random people sometimes. odd, right?” you chuckled as you grabbed the bag of popcorn out the pantry. you heard her laugh, too.

“he’s always been odd—believe it or not.” you mouthed the word ‘seriously?’ and she nodded with her eyes wide. “this little boy would do the weirdest things when he was younger. ay dios mio, he was such a hassle.”

“this one time—he was doing some arts and crafts with scissors and all, i walk out of the room for five minutes. there he is. with half of his hair on the floor. now you know the reason why one of his braids is shorter.”

you snorted, and you’re pretty sure miles grew suspicious. that and you were gone a little too long to just be getting popcorn, “he told me it was his barber!”

“his barber??? nobody else is touching that damn head of his. you know what-” rio snapped her fingers and there he was. “¿me estás culpando por esto?” miles hummed in confusion until she gestured his braids.

“you did not tell her about that story.” she raised her eyebrows, “oh, i did tell her about that story.” miles groaned as if he was in agony, and he probably was.

despite his overrall character coming off as cold and stoic, he was just like any other teenage boy your age. dramatic and sassy for no apparent reason. “oh! did i tell you the time i caught him singing once?”

“mom.”

“or the time i first found out about him and his obsession for comics-con?”

“mom..!”

“or when i found him putting cat hairclips in his ha-”

“alright, conversation over!” he shoved the bag of popcorn into your hands and pushed you down the hallway towards his room, giving his mom a bothered stare. “they’re in his top drawer!”

“MOM.”

@ mayearies , no swiping!

[maybe-im-dark]

Growing pains

Based on this post

Puberty hit James like a freight train in the dark, but nobody had told him it would be like this. Nobody had told him it would be pain wrapped in confusion, wrapped in terror, wrapped in something that wasn’t entirely human.

It started with the claws.

They came in the evening, in the hallway of his home after a gunshot, his father lying lifeless on the ground and then blood — so much blood. He didn’t want to think about that evening anymore. He didn’t want to remember the sound Thomas Logan made when he drove his claws into him or the way or the way his mother's scream seemed to echo forever.

But that was only the beginning.

At first James thought the claws were the end of the changes, as if they were some horrible curse marking him as something wrong. But soon, other things started happening. Subtle at first: the way his arms ached, deep and insistent, like something inside was pulling him apart. Or how he could suddenly hear every creak of the old hunting cabin that Victor and he had found in the forest, every drip of water leaking from the ceiling when it rained, every breath his brother took in the room beside his.

The woods around them were alive in a way, only the lonely could feel. The kind of alive that pressed against your ribs, filled your lungs with pine-scented dread and whispered secrets just out of reach. James had been running in through these woods for weeks now, or maybe it was months. Time stretched like the shadows between the trees and he had long stopped counting the days since he and Victor ran. They had settled here for now but really they didn't have a destination. Victor had laughed and said running wasn’t about getting anywhere. It was about leaving everything behind.

At first, it had been easy. Victor hunted, they ate, they slept. It was a rhythm, primal and simple. But James could feel the changes creeping in, slinking up on him the way Victor’s feral grin sometimes did when he wasn’t looking.

And then there was the smell.

James hadn’t noticed it at first. But one day as he sat by the fire with Victor, it hit him. Victor smelled...different. Stronger, muskier like wet fur and something metallic. The realization unnerved him.

"Why do you smell like that?" James asked, his voice shaking.

Victor tilted his head, his lips curling into a sharp smile. He poked the fire with a stick. The flames flickered, as if they were afraid of him. "Like what, Jimmy?"

James sniffed again, his nose wrinkling. "Like blood."

Victor laughed, low and rough and reached out to ruffle his hair. "You’re growing up, little brother. You’re starting to notice things."

James pulled away, frowning. "I don’t want to notice things."

Victor’s grin widened, his sharp teeth glinting in the firelight. "Too late for that."

The pain got worse after that.

It wasn’t the kind of pain you could see —no cuts, no bruises— but it was there, gnawing at his bones, clawing at his insides. His forearms ached constantly, a deep pulsing agony that made him want to scream. Sometimes, when he flexed his fingers, he could feel something shift beneath the surface of his skin, long and hard and wrong.

"It's just growing pains", Victor said one night.

James shool his head, his face pale. "It doesn’t feel right. It feels like something...moving."

Victor leaned back, his blue eyes glinting in the darkness. "That’s cause it is."

James stared at him, his chest tightening. "What do you mean?"

His brother shrugged, his voice casual. "Your claws. They’re growin', same as the rest of you. Your bones gotta move to make room for 'em."

James' stomach churned. "That’s not supposed to happen."

Victor chuckled, low and dark. "We’re not supposed to happen, Jimmy. We’re something else."

---

The dreams started not long after.

In the dreams, he was running. The forest blurred around him, dark and endless, the trees clawing at the sky. He could smell the damp earth beneath his feet, the sharp tang of pine and something else—something alive. He could hear it too, the frantic thud of a heartbeat, the rustle of leaves as it tried to escape.

And then he caught it.

His claws tore through flesh, warm blood spilling onto his hands. The thing screamed, high and shrill and James woke up, gasping for air.

He tried to talk to Victor about the dreams, but Victor only grinned.

"They’re not dreams", Victor said, his voice calm, almost soothing. "They’re instincts. You’re waking up to what you are."

James frowned, his hands trembling. "And what am i?"

Victor leaned closer, his fangs flashing in the moonlight that fell through the windows. "A predator."

---

It happened one night, during a storm. The rain pounded against the roof of the cabin and the wind howled through the trees like a pack of wolves. James lay in his makeshift bed, his body wracked with pain, hus heart pounding in his chest.

And then it broke.

His forearms snapped, the bones shifting with a sickening crunch. He screamed, his claws bursting free with a wet sound. His senses exploded, he could hear every creak of the cabin, every gust of wind, every drop of rain. The air was thick with the smell of blood, sweat and fear. His very own smell.

He stumbled outside, his vision blurring, his body moving on instinct. The forest called to him, its shadows wrapping around him like a cloak. He could feel it now, the thing inside of him, awake and hungry.

Victor was waiting for him.

"Feel it, Jimmy?", he asked. "That fire in your chest? That burn in your gut? That’s who you are."

James shook his head, his claws digging into the dirt. "I don’t want this."

Victor stepped closer, his eyes gleaming. "It’s not about what you want. It’s about what you are."

And then James snapped.

He lunged at Victor, his claws slashing through the air. Victor laughed, catching his wrists and shoving him back.

"Not me, Jimmy", he said, his voice steady. "Not yet."

James turned, his senses locking onto something in the distance. The smell of something, warm and alive. The sound of frantic breathing.

A group of fawns.

He didn’t remember running, but suddenly he was there, standing over it as it cowered on the ground.

Its eyes stared up at him, wide and afraid. It made a choked bleating sound.

James' claws tore through its chest, silencing it.

The others ran, but he was faster. He caught them one by one, their screams cutting through the night like shards of glass.

When it was over, he stood in the middle of a clearing, his chest heaving, his arms covered in blood.

Victor appeared behind him, his smile wide and sharp.

"See?", his brother said, his voice soft and coaxing. "I told ya. You’re a predator."

James started at his hands, the blood pooling around his feet. His stomach churned.

Victor clapped a hand on his shoulder, his grip firm. "Welcome to the pack, little brother."

James didn’t answer. He just stared into the darkness, his breath fogging in the cold night air.

And deep down, in the part that was still human, he felt it.

The beast had won.

[edandstede]

racist fucks out here acting like ed is doomed to become abusive like his father, like he is a violent monster, as if his arc isn’t about learning that he isn’t a monster at all but just a man. how are you looking at ed accepting himself, overcoming feeling like he’s the literal kraken, that he’s loveable and worthy of compassion and kindness even when he thinks the worst of himself, and drawing the conclusion that he’s an irredeemable thug - which is, by the way, what every fucking villain and antagonist thinks of him. you’re aligning your view of him with the bad guys, y’know, the ones who call him a donkey, low-born, and try goading him into violence over and over again because they think that’s all he’s worth? and yeah that includes izzy, because he did that too, it’s 90% of what he fucking did, treating him like he only deserved to live if he was performing hyper masculinity the entire time and the second he stopped he was worse than dead.

we are supposed to feel sorry for ed. the way he feels is heartbreaking. he was abandoned, had his worst fears confirmed to him by stede leaving and izzy pressing on the wound in the worst possible way, and then he fell completely into depression and suicidal ideation. he thinks it’s all he’s good for. he can’t be loved, he hates himself, he’s just the dick who killed his dad and nobody wants him for him. how can you see this very obvious spelled-out agony in him and say “hey, that guy is gonna abuse the man he loves, he’s an abuser just like his dad” you guys are just absolute bottom of the barrel scumbag dickheads, you really really are. you could not be more blatantly racist. you know damn well the show is not saying what you’re claiming it is.

also, insisting that he would ever hurt stede is just completely ignoring every single fucking thing about him. ed would never. the only fucking time stede is physically hurt by ed is when he wakes up from literal death and headbutts him. that’s it. i think we can all agree he didn’t even know what planet he was on when that occurred, and he petulantly says “good it was supposed to hurt” during a squabble that ends with stede telling ed he loves everything about him. pull the other one if you think this was ever framed as ed seriously wanting to hurt stede and not an incredibly hurt and vulnerable man still acting on a half-dead brain.

like for fuck’s sake this is the same man who hides under stede’s robe and presses his head to stede’s hand when he cries after telling him - the only person he has EVER TOLD - about killing his dad. he tells stede about the plot to kill him, and he cannot do it. he can’t lift a finger to him, he never would. he holds stede’s face with both hands when he kisses him and tells him he loves him. he brings him breakfast with a bit of twine on ‘cause he panicked and thought it needed a flourish. he rubs stede’s cashmere against his cheek. the first thing he says makes his life worth living is warmth. he imagines stede with a big goofy sweet grin and gold sparkly goldfish tail coming to save his life. he just wants to retire and have his inn with the man he loves and not worry about stede ever being in a near-death situation again. he wants stede to be safe with him. at no point are we remotely told in the text that we should be genuinely worried ed will ever, ever physically hurt stede. he protects this man with his WHOLE BODY twice and signs an act of grace to avoid him being shot. he tries to get ned to leave him alone when they’re being tortured. he jumps off the boat with jack to swim back to him and he rows back to the republic to find stede too.

he loves stede, would never hurt him, and you’re all just fucking sour your fav died and you’re saying any old shite as a result. swear to god if i catch one more of you even so much as insinuating ed is abusive i’m gonna start lobbing off toes as well.

[rafesapologist]

bigger than the whole sky — rafe cameron

summary: rafe cameron was your first and last love. the two of you met at the very beginning of your high school days, and said your first 'i love you's by the time you were merely sixteen. your relationship was electric and wild, a place were you could finally let your guard down. as you two grew older and entered your college years, you quickly became a safety net for rafe against a harrowing father and a broken family. you vowed to be the one who was a safe space for the boy you loved to be able to run to, but he carried demons even you couldn't erase.

warnings: grief, angst, swearing, death, mentions of drug and alcohol use, depictions of mental health issues

author's note: y'all i'm so sorry for this one i just love writing angsty stuff pls forgive me in advanced

"I love you." Rafe hummed a gentle melody of benevolent words into your ear as he observed you carefully through his empyrean-crafted sapphires that you always found yourself getting lost in, ones that were specific to him only, which only made you love them more.

"I love you too, Rafe. Always." A small smile tugged at the corners of your mouth, a behavior that you couldn't help yourself from doing caused by the giddy feeling that was making your heart swell by being in the presence of your high school sweetheart who you swore you were going to grow old with.

You peered up at him with your chin rested on his chest, unable to contain the jouissance that was so clearly written across your features. You felt like right then, you could picture an entire life within his cerulean irises that bored right back into yours. You slipped into a daydream as you wandered the thoughts that crowded your mind about the everlasting potential of where you and Rafe were going to end up. You envisioned being in your thirties and coming home to the place you and him would buy together, perhaps a small cottage somewhere off the islands in a small town, or even a capacious apartment in a big city where the people never sleep. You'd be greeted at the front door with a bouqet of morning glories that were set out for you at the kitchen table, your favorite flowers that Rafe took mental note of since you told him when you were fifteen one day while passing a greenhouse on the way to school. Once he'd finally realized you were home, he'd welcome you with open arms and an embrace that watered down the agglomeration of stress that burned in the pit of your stomach after an insufferably long day at the job you strived so hard to get. He'd shower you with kisses across your face that made the agony of a rigorous work day much worth the tribulations you endured.

Perhaps you'd stand there for a moment, basking in the way his body heat warmed you up like a heated blanket that you didn't want to take off. He'd rub your back and allow you to take a moment to yourself, the first you'd be able to have all day. You would stand there for a moment, soaking up the joy of finally getting to see him, and you'd tell yourself that you never wanted to go to work again because it only took time away from seeing his handsome face. In the midst of you caught up in cloud nine in his arms, you'd also be greeted by the fluffy feline the two of you adopted together when you found out you were finally getting your own place, just you two. Nobody else.

"What are you thinking about, pretty girl?" Rafe asked in a whisper, gazing at you with admiration laced in his eyes. He scanned your face while he looked to read your expression, slowly combing his fingers through your hair with a gentle pace, fearing that he would hurt you and tug at your scalp if he went any faster. Like you were made of glass that he would break if he didn't hold you with ease.

"You and me." You murmur with the same gushing expression painted on your face, your cheeks flushed with heat.

"What about us?" He questioned again, tilting his head with curiosity.

"Our future," you admitted, snuggling into his side further, "I can't wait to spend my life with you, Rafe. You're the only one I could ever see myself growing old with, and the only one I'd want to do that with."

Rafe's rosy-pink lips curved until a faint, simper smile. His eyes remained trained onto you as they flickered between your left and right eye, taking in every detail of the way your eyes glimmered while you looked at him.

"It'll always be me and you, y/n. You're the only pure, healthy love I've ever had in my entire life. I'd be a sad empty man without you." He masked his vulnerability with a light-heated joke, although you knew there was truth to what he was saying.

"Well it's a good thing I'm not going anywhere, Mr. Cameron." You smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

"I surely hope not, future Mrs. Cameron."

｡･ﾟﾟ･

There was a tropical storm that had blanketed Figure Eight when you got the phone call the your boyfriend was passed out and unresponsive at some party he had attended with Kelce and Topper. It was a jarring phone call to have been woken up to, with Topper's shaky voice and screaming heard in the background, a moment in time that will forever be ingrained into your head.

You rushed over as soon as the call had ended. You took off so quickly that you left your house with nothing on but an oversized t-shirt and some pajama shorts that had seen better days. You couldn't care less about your appearance or the fact that you had to drive through one of the worst storms you had seen since you moved to the Outer Banks, because quite honestly, the weather was fitting for a scene like that.

Once you had arrived you didn't even take the time to take the keys out of the ignition before racing out of the car and into the crowded house, full of intoxicated teens who formed a circle around your unconcious boyfriend who laid across the living room floor of whoever's house it was. You felt like screaming, collapsing, and throwing up all at once when you had finally pushed yourself through the nosy crowd of bystanders who watched in shock.

"Topper, Topper," you called out in a shaky cry to your boyfriend's best friend, "what happened? What did he do?"

"I don't know I-"

"I said what the fuck did he do, Topper?!" You yelled in a sudden outburst as the severity of the situation began to settle and brought you back into reality while you held Rafe's in your arms, rocking back and forth in an attempt to wake him. But it did no good.

"I saw him snorting a line of coke with a group of guys earlier, and I'm pretty sure I've seen him with a drink in his hand all night." A random bystander suddenly chimed in, causing you to snap your head in the direction of where the voice was coming from. You had locked eyes on an unfamiliar blonde girl who looked back at you with horror written on her face, discomfort present in her body language.

"No," you squeezed your eyes shut as tears began to flow from them relentlessly, shaking your head as though you refused to believe he would do such a thing knowing how much it would hurt you, "no he wouldn't do this. He wouldn't do this to me."

"The ambulance is on the way." Kelce announced as he point to the phone pressed to his ear.

You couldn't regulate a single emotion in your body at that point. You felt as though you had lost touch with yourself and whatever the hell was going on around you, as you grew tunnel vision on Rafe's motionless body that laid heavy in your lap. You weeped to the point that you felt your throat tighten, almost as if you couldn't breathe, suffocated by the absence of hope that the boy you loved was going to wake up. You could have sworn that a few blood vessels popped in your eyes from the way that you cried out with an indescribable passion and fury. Fury for the selfishness Rafe had in himself to be able to behave so recklessly, despite knowing you were back at home trusting that he would do the right thing and stay safe. But his desires and addiction were two things that ruthlessly clouded his judgment and steered him down a dark path. One that you always feared would take the best of him from you and rip him away.

However, you got lucky that night. The ambulance had come just in time to be able to resuscitate him successfully, and you thanked the heavens above for the blessing that he actually got another chance to live. But you were sure as hell not going to let him down easy this time, fearing that there would be no more 'close calls' or being lucky if it were to happen again. Therefore, you pushed him into going to rehab for once. It took a lot of begging and pleading, but after seeing the manner in which you broke down so intensely when discussion how his addiction effected both you and him, he eventually obliged to your request.

｡･ﾟﾟ･

After three months of treatment, Rafe was finally discharged from the rehab facility. You had visited him nearly everyday while he was there, but seeing him outside of there was completely different. The moment you saw him for the first time since he left, you ran to him and greeted him with the tightest hug he had ever felt in his life. Your emotions got the best of you, as they normally did when it came to Rafe, and you had sobbed into his chest as he held you for the first time since going to rehab.

"Please don't ever do that to me again, Rafe. I would have lost my mind without you." You let out a muffled cry into his shirt as you clutched onto him as if he was going to dissapear if you let go.

"I won't princess, I promise. I'd never leave you. I'm so sorry." Rafe cooed as he kissed the top of your forehead, clenching his eyelids shut as tears began to flood his azure-colored eyes. The same ones you missed waking up to every morning over the last three months while he was gone.

"Lets get you home. I don't want to see this place for another minute." You muttered as you backed away from him to wipe your tears away with the sleeve of your shirt.

"Of course, baby."

｡･ﾟﾟ･

Things were looking up for the two of you once Rafe completed his rehab program. It seemed as though he was back to the boy you had met when you were in high school, happy and full of life. You spent everyday thanking the universe for keeping him around and giving him the strength to make it through such a scare. For the first time since you were eighteen, you were finally hopefully for Rafe's sobriety and maintaining it. You knew it wasn't easy for him, of course, but you believed in him.

"I wanna talk to you about something." Rafe voiced as he sat next to you while you ate your usual bowl of cereal for breakfast.

"Okay.. Talk to me." You replied a tad mumbled, trying to talk with a handful of cereal stuffed in your mouth which made Rafe chuckle in return.

"You remember when we used to talk about getting our own place together someday?"

"Yeah? Why?" You questioned, cocking your eyebrow at him.

"Well, I've been putting aside some money over the last few months since I got this job, and I've been waiting until I had enough to do it to tell you. But, as long as you're ready and want to still, I'm ready for us to find a place." Rafe declared with a beaming grin growing on his face.

You responded with a shriek as you threw down your cereal bowl onto the table, immediately leaning forward to hug Rafe in excitement for the good news. You might've kissed him a hundred times before you actually said a word because of how much joy you felt knowing that you were finally getting the chance to have a place of your own with the boy you've loved since you were sixteen. A dream of yours that you've been dying to fufill.

"Oh my gosh, Rafe! I can't believe this. I can't wait. I love you." You smiled wide, giggling as you pulled him in for a hug once more.

"I love you, y/n. I can't wait to start our lives together. This is just the beginning."

｡･ﾟﾟ･

It was 1:48 am.

You were sound asleep in the bedroom that you shared with Rafe in the apartment you had together bought six months prior. It was a peaceful, clear night with not a cloud in the sky. It was almost haunting how quiet it was.

You laid in bed curled up with the cat Rafe had got for you shortly after you moved in. He was a long-haired, brown feline that you decided to name Bear. Immediately after getting him, you practically treated him as though he was your own child. Yours and Rafe's. Just like that night, and many others, he would often sleep curled up next to you and send you to sleep with the sounds of his loud purrs and occasional snoring.

There was nothing abnormal about that night. No warning to the devastation that was to be ahead. You were unsuspecting and unaware that there was even any potential threat that would disrupt your nearly-perfect life that you had grown accustomed to with Rafe. Although sometimes, you wish there had been something that would have warned you of the doom that was impending.

When you had went to bed, you had just got off the phone with Rafe. He had went out with a few of his close friends for one of their birthdays, promising to return before you woke up. You saw nothing to worry about. It had been over a year since Rafe's overdose and you had complete faith in him, a regained trust that you had momentarily lost when the first accident had happened.

You remember exactly what words you said to him last on that very phone call. Not only because of the significance of the call, but because you made sure to tell him every single time before you hung up.

"I love you."

A word you had uttered a million times to him, even though it still never seemed like enough. You knew that Rafe secretly enjoyed how much you said it though, since you were the only one in his life that had told him it in years at that point in time. His family had moved off and cut off contact with him once he had finally stood up to his dad. His sister, Sarah, stayed behind in Figure Eight with her boyfriend, John B, once they had attained a substantial amount of money after finding the gold.

You were practically Rafe's lifeline once you two had moved out together, a job you were perfectly fine with because you would have done it a million times had it meant that he was happy. You loved him. You loved him so much that when he hurt, you hurt. You felt his pain when he lost himself from his addiction, and you cried as he did when he had trouble adjusting to the move. But you past all the grief and the struggles he faced, believing that Rafe was a fighter and much stronger than what cards he was unfortunately dealt with in life.

But despite the countless efforts of getting him help and supporting him through his sobriety, Rafe nevertheless had demons he did not deserve, some of which he hid from even you. He faced a battle within himself frequently although he never showed it, realizing that it would only be hurting you to see him in such a state. So he continued his facade of pretending to be that carefree, content boy he was back when you first met him. But his perception of life and reality was tainted by an addiction that haunted him deeply, so deeply that even you couldn't take it away regardless of how much he loved you.

You were Rafe's first and only love. The love of his life, he would say. You were a breath of fresh air in a world full of melancholy, despondency, and corruption that surrounded him daily. He had worshipped the ground that you walked on, even on your worst days. You truly did not wrong in his eyes, a saint that was sent to him from the clouds up above. You had truly blessed his life, in ways that you had never truly believed despite how much he tried to remind you. He wanted to make sure you knew how thankful he was for you everyday, and he never failed to tell you so.

It was 1:48 am when you got the call that Rafe had died.

You lost a piece of yourself that night, or perhaps all of you went with him when he passed. Either ways, you were never the same. All of the plans you had made of a future that would never come, haunted by the reality that Rafe was now forever just a memory in the depths of your mind that you hoped to never lose, even in your old age. After his funeral had passed, you sold your apartment and moved back to your hometown, too haunted by the memories of your past life to be able to move back to Figure Eight. The place you met.

The only thing you took with you from that home was the cat that he got for you after begging him for weeks once you had moved in. You find that you cherish him, Bear, even more because he is your very last memory of Rafe Cameron. The very first and the very last boy you have ever loved.

[liquidorcard]

HEY Y'ALL IT'S MIKAILER WITH AN "ER" WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO GRASP!?

---

Did I get your attention, Mikaila? I hope so, let's see.

Mikaila, I don't like you. You've done shit that's soured my opinion of you. I'm acknowledging that now to get that out of the way. I'm not here to be two-faced about this or blow smoke up your ass.

But as one idiot who stayed in a toxic relationship to another-- I'm not making fun of you because I think I'm better. I know. Being in a relationship like that brings out some ugly shit. You resent and fear people will never forgive you. You don't know if you will forgive yourself. I'm not making fun of you because I think I'm better than you.

And it feels kinda good, being treated badly? In a weird way? When you're used to it? When you feel you kind of deserve it? It did for me too. My abuser did some fucked up shit to me. I don't know how to describe to you the strange feelings I'm left with now. Sometimes I think I finally hate her, sometimes, as pathetic as it makes me feel, I still miss her. It's a rot in you that never really goes away, but you learn to live with it. I understand that agony. I understand that anger of how fucking unfair it is.

You know my opinion of Lily. You're not going to trust me that I'm not saying all this just to get you two to break up to hurt her. Fair. Very fair, not going to pretend like it's not. But if Lily loves you, nothing I'm about to say should be an issue. She should want what's best for you, right?

Here's the rub Mikaila, it's been a few years now. I know you want out of your situation at home, but it doesn't seem like Lily's going to be able to help you with that at this point. I'm sure Lily's given you plenty of reasons as to why, and it's time to listen to her.

If you're heart's set on coming to Canada, your best bet is getting a job here. Or even, going to school. Art degrees (Here in Canada) aren't as expensive, provided you go to the right school. Even taking out a student loan for just one year to figure your shit out. I know you're in quite a bit of debt right now and don't want to get into more, but. You gotta do what you gotta do.

Here's the college I went to. Yes, your work is sufficient to potentially get admitted. Believe it or not, art school's get that illustration is a learned skill. Artists start from all different levels:

Look through the admissions requirements to see if you have the academic records to be admitted. If not, you could also consider upgrading through online classes aswell.

Again though, your best bet is to try to find employment. The cost of living isn't great here right now, but it isn't great anywhere. I doubt you'll be able to find cheaper rent in America.

Once you're here or wherever you end up, away from the chaos of your home, you might find it a lot easier to get your head around, establishing some better independence and becoming a citizen by yourself. It's a shitty process, but not as bad as the one you guys have in the States. We stan an immigrant here.

You need to look out for you, Mikaila. It's not selfish. It's not a matter of whether you "really deserve it or not." Nobody's going to save you. You're emotionally spent because of your parents, You're emotionally spent because of Lily. And it feels kind of nice how much Lily needs you. But you can't help her until you help yourself - and again, if we're all wrong and Lily really loves you, she shouldn't have a problem with you finding your way.

My own mother once told me I was "born sad." I've never not hated myself. I ate up any little bit of love and validation no matter how many bitter, razor pills that came with it too. That's just how it is for some of us.

But you know what Mikaila? Fuck em. Fuck all of them. Fuck everything. Fuck me, Mikaila. You've got one life. One body. One you. Whatever you think of her, someone's gotta fight for that poor bitch. Why not you fight for you?

Everyone's a stinky meat bag stripped down, Mikaila. Everyone's made a fool in the wake of the shit people like you and I have been through. Not everyone's going to be able to forgive everything, but everyone's not wholly past forgiveness.

I'm no better than you Mikaila. Nobody is. Some of us just get to know the worst sides of ourselves better than others.

I don't like some of the things you've done, girl. But I see you. I get it. Tell us all to eat shit. Fix your life. Don't rely on Lily to make you feel whole or to save you. To make you feel worthy. No person can do that. She could be the reincarnation of Mary Mother of God herself, and you couldn't expect that from her. Be your own advocate. If your relationship isn't toxic, it can survive you becoming a more whole you.

This asshole is rooting for you. Give me an excuse to undoomer "Mikailer." My girl needs a win.

[kooksbunnnn]

Lost cause? 2: she knows me?

Previous chapter

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook× Female!Reader

Genre: Established relationship/ marriage, angst, heartbreak, INFIDELITY. Panic attacks(TRIGGER WARNING). Pregnancy (do not read if this content triggers you) also, 18+,

Summary: You always wondered, how would your life turn out to be if you and Jungkook had a baby? So, when you finally conceive and decide to tell your husband, that you are pregnant, you didn't expect him to drop this bomb on you. You never would've thought that the surprise you planned would end up in agonized tears because of the shock your husband brings you. 

Words: 3.9k

Please read the authors note at the end of the chapter. hehe~

••••••

It was all very awkward and heart-breaking, the explanations to both your parents, seeing your parents cry in front of you, seeing his dad bow his head out of shame, his mom hugging your sobbing body with tears in her eyes, no one could change anything so nobody tried to change the decision you both took. 

No divorce. That is what you both decided on the balcony that morning, but it's easier said than done. A series of drunken calls by him, panic calls by you, and crying sessions that included you both tiredly sleeping. Not forgetting the almost deadly morning sickness and cramps. 

The love and need you felt for Jungkook was not going anywhere, no matter how hard you tried, becoming so frustrating that you started thinking of divorce. But the idea was immediately turned down by your therapist considering the pregnancy. 

Yes, therapist. Never did you think you would visit one of these anytime soon. You lived separately, away from his physical self, but every little detail of the baby's growth was a part of his daily routine. You texted him about what the doctor told you in your appointments, and he told you to take care, and you always hung up asking him to do the same. 

It was his baby, too, so you thought he should know every detail about the growth of his blood, too, not realizing how you just needed some way to check on him. You didn't want to but you couldn't help it.

It was like a routine for every 2 weeks, a call every 14 days, and a text from him 5 to 6 times in the 24 hours to check up on your health. When he received the first ultrasound, he spent the whole evening making a bunch of hard and soft copies of the picture of his baby. So small, like a bean, making his heart ache with love. 

He wanted to be there. See it himself. Feel your belly. Kiss it. But he couldn't. 

The agony of not seeing each other continued for three and a half months when suddenly you felt a pain in your lower abdomen, making you panic. 

The therapist warned you of the consequences of the stress and the tears on the baby, the doctor did said that too but you couldn't physically control yourself from crying or giving in to the need to hear his voice whenever you cried, thinking not doing so might turn your health worse hence doing the same to the baby. 

Your mom stirred in her sleep at your yelp, alarming her, immediately getting up she took a look at you, seeing the tears in your eyes she ran up to your father and told him to take you to the hospital. Your father rushed from the guestroom he had been sleeping in since your mom insisted you sleep with her.

Rushing to the hospital, your pain didn't grow but didn't stop either. When the doctor started to diagnose the reason for the pain, you only prayed that the baby was fine. Tears in your eyes, you wished the circumstances were different, with your husband holding your hand while the doctor diagnosed you. 

But you were alone even with your mother standing beside you with concerned eyes. 

Soon, you got to know that it was because of the sleeping posture and the ligament pain, which was basically your body making space for the baby. With the advice of sleeping in a better posture with a pillow to tuck under your leg and some prescriptions, you open the door to exit the room. 

Thats when you see him. 

After three and a half months which felt like years, you lost your composure, especially when he came your way sprinting with long legs, fuzzy hair, bags under his eyes, mismatched clothing, you guess he was in a rush so he must have picked a random shirt over the joggers considering he sleeps shirtless. 

Also, were those different slippers? 

You saw how his eyes take you in and gloss up, making your vision blurry with tears, too. The hurt and anger of him cheating was still there, but the hormones of the pregnancy were messing with your mind, and you wanted to kick yourself for being happy at seeing him. 

"You okay? What did the doctor say? Is everything okay? Is she okay?" 

He always wanted a girl. The she in his sentence makes your heart squeeze, and you look at your mother with a clenched jaw.

Did she call him and tell him? Or was it your dad?

Sighing guiltily and avoiding your questing glare, she replies the questions that Jungkook asked, him still looking at you with concern while your mom explained everything. 

"Y/N I-" 

"Please go, Jungkook. Thank you so much for coming here, but I need you to go." You say sniffing, looking away from the concerned man in front of you.

The silence between you, Jungkook, and your parents was defeaning, broken by you moving past him, wiping the tears that flowed automatically on seeing him after so long.

Happy or sad, you have no idea. Relieved to be around him? For a second, maybe. You got mad at your parents and then later found out that your father had told Jungkook about your abdominal pain, but then he said he just couldn't see you in so much agony, and he just called him without anither thought.

You never wanted to see your father cry, but he did, and you felt helpless. You made your parents helpless.

How did it all become so painful?

The next two months went terribly since you stopped contacting him, stopped replying to his texts, occasionally texting him not more than three words. The fact that you got some kind of assurity through the texts was somewhere in the back of your head, but you didn't want to admit. No matter what. You can't. Thus, your anxiety is rising. 

When he reread the text, you last sent him four days ago. 'The baby is okay.' he felt his heart squeeze up, the thought of you assuming him texting for only the baby hurt him. He wanted to know about you too. He felt disgusted by the fact that he did this to you, the love of his life.

The last time you saw him made you realize that seeing him in person would not change the fact that he cheated on you, broke your heart even though you loved him, and you still love him. Fuck why do you still love him. Your heart and mind aches from all the heart break and your back aches feom lying down so much and the hormones making you mad makes you wanna punch Jungkook and then hug him, feel his warmth all around you. 

The sudden urge to take a walk in the garden downstairs to clear your head washes over you. Even though the doctor told you that you're not supposed to move much. You still try to get up when- 

"Ow! Fuck, fine I won't! I am much more  responsible than you, little one." 

You tell your baby as you feel the cramp in your back that makes your head fall back in frustration. The pain and the mood swings make you make an impulsive decision that involves you, your anger, and your phone. 

Finding the name in your contacts you click on it and hear the ringer do its job but at the second ring you realize what a big fucking mistake this might turn out to be, so you immediately turn the screen on to hang up but drop the phone on the mattress in the middle of the rushed action. 

"Hello?" A deep voice resounds on the mattress, making you freeze. Shit. 

You get up slightly to pick up your phone while he tries to get a reply from your side. The contact image smiling at you mocks your irritated face. Making you much more infuriated. 

"Y/N?" a whisper. 

"Yes, it's me, Jungkook!" You speak up a bit rudely, answering his question, the other side falling silent with a hint of traffic in the background. He must be getting back from work. 

"Are you oka-" 

"Why? Why did you do this? I loved you. I never did anything bad, so why do I have so many heartbreaks. It hurts! My heart and my head hurt!" 

Silence. 

"Answer me! You have no clue how much I wanna hate you, Jungkook. You dont know how is it to have all these fucking mood swings killing me, I dont have you. I cant expect these hormones to calm themselves on their own cause you're not around me?!" 

By the end of the rant, you start sobbing, your body shaking with the number of hiccups you're having. Jungkook always helped you with your moody episodes and cramps during your periods. He was always there. 

You just hope you dont wake up your sleeping dad, who took his blood pressure pills. You told him to sleep, but now you dont know if he could, considering your wails. Your mom out for maternity clothes shopping since moving and working in these normal ones was a pain in the ass. 

"I could be there, I wanna be there. I want you to know how much I regret my mistake just please...baby, let me in. Please." He whispers in the phone, clearly on the verge of crying. 

You sniff on your side, eyes shut tightly, giving him the cue to go on. 

"I would never, ever force you to t-take me back or f-feel something for me. Just let me be there when you need me. I won't talk or anything just please.." 

Taking the device off speaker you furiously bring the phone to your ears. "You really think its easy, huh? Well I dont think it would be if- ah!" 

You suddenly feel a tiny pulse like sensation on your tummy, and you freeze, dropping your phone. You think it's one of the pains you felt earlier, but this doesn't hurt. it's like a flutter. You gasp again as you feel it again, eyes widening with joy as you absentmindedly pick your phone up to tell your husband that your baby just kicked! 

The feeling of the baby moving inside you made your heart swell double in size, and you call out his name in the device, but your smile falls, seeing that he hung up. 

He must've reached home. 

Home. The visual of the shared apartment makes you sigh, reality hitting hard. Oh, how you wish you could be in your house, with him, without the suffocating memories of you crying in the kitchen. 

Your dad rushes in the bedroom, making you flinch as he slams the door open. 

"Y/N! Are you okay? Why are you crying? Did something happen? Did Jungkook say something? Did you call? Why are you-" 

"The baby kicked dad-" 

You gasp as it kicked once again, and your father laughs with surprised-teary eyes along with you.

"Oh my god, I don't know what it is that makes the little one kick, but I am gonna try finding it out. Help me figure it out, dad!" You say giggling as your eyes widen with happiness as the baby kicks again, but then you realize that the kick it gives you again is at the term dad. Fuck. 

Okay, the kid is genuinely testing your patience and emotional waters. 

"It's dad." You hear a whisper, and your heart stops beating for a second. When you turn your head towards the door when you see Jungkook and your mom. 

"It's me. She knows me. She knows who I am." He keeps whispering talking about the baby as he enters the room and slowly crouches down at the edge of your bed, staring at you, baby bump with tears in his eyes,

Hearing you sniff he looks up and sees his wife, the mother of his child, the love of his life, not even facing towards him during this moment and Jungkook couldnt help but grab the white duvet covering you, his hands itching to wipe your tears. 

Y/N. Look at me, please." 

You clench your jaw, tears slipping out of your eyes. When he whispers your name again, you shut your eyes frustrated. This is what you both wanted, right? This is what you've been trying for 1 year, right? Then why does it have to be so painful when you finally get it? 

"Y/N?" 

You snap your head, looking at him. Eyes glossy, face red and dark circles, a description suitable for the both of you. His face softens at your questioning stare, and he whsipers a barely audible answer, 

"You didn't answer when I called your name numerous times, so I thought you were in pain. I was near Taehyung's apartment when you stopped responding, so I came here straightaway.." 

"Taehyung's?" You ask. 

At your question, he wipes the sweat over his upper lip, diverting his gaze towards his lap. "Yea, he found out about- what I-I did, when I went to his place, all the hyungs know." He sniffs. Maybe that's the reason why Namjoon Jin and Yoongi tried calling you at least 6 times the week after you found out. Maybe that was the reason hobi visited your workplace, thinking you would be there. Maybe that's why the soulmates sent flowers to your workplace.

You thought they just knew about your pregnancy, hence the flowers, calls, and visits.

"I've been crashing there, in his guest bedroom. I just dont want to go to our place. it's not a home without you." He whispers. 

You look at him in silence, how he doesnt make eye contact, staring at his lap, as he fiddles with his fingers, you look up at your parents who have been there listening to the full interaction with worry in their eyes.

They were mad at Jungkook at first but knowing you needed him during this time the most, they couldnt tell you to seperate or move on and since he wronged you they couldn't call him over to comfort you. It was very painful and confusing for both families. 

Looking at your parents, you motion with your eyes to give you a moment of privacy.

You give them a small sad smile before they turn to leave the room.

"Jungkook?" 

He looks up, responding to your voice with a sniff. His nose was red, and his cheeks were all wet. 

"This is getting insufferable. To be honest, I wish all this never happened, but it did. You or me, we cant change that, but the fact that I cant leave you, cant get a divorce, cant control my emotions, cant eat the pancakes you made when I crave them at 4 in the morning so much!" Your voice starts quivering due to the tears and anger inside you. 

"It's killing me." You shake your head frustrated.

"Also, why can't I stop thinking about my therapist giving me hope about us? Why did it make me feel relief? Why do I want to give in?!" You look at him again, his eyes already on you. 

"Why did you have to ruin everything, Jungkook? This was our dream. Our dream! I want to forget you so bad, wanna forget how you broke my heart and oh! how I wanna change the things in which  they are, but I can't Jungkook! I can't! I'm stuck with you, your memories, your smell, the comfort you gave me, everything! Fuck I dont want to give in to the hope. I cant do that to myself!" 

You clutch your head, and he hesitantly gets up after a moment of heavy silence,  slowly sitting at the edge of the bed. You look up at him, still clutching your head with one hand while the other drops in your lap, brushing slightly against your baby bump. 

He takes his hand and places it on top of your resting one. He thought you would push him away, but you didn't. He looks up and removes your other hand from your head and puts it over the already interlocked hands in your lap. 

You feel weird thinking how you should pull your hand back, get away from him but at this moment nothing felt better, you needed him as your comfort and he understood that. 

He looks into your glassy eyes and sniffs, his nose scrunching. You now notice how chapped his lips are and how his eyes are red, a little bit of stubble on his face, piercings gone, and a dull skin tone. 

Your heart beats with anxiety, wanting to give in the hope but also wanting to create boundaries for yourself at the same time. Your heart was betraying you at the moment you wanted it to be strong.

You should be strong, you owed yourself that! But why does this comfort make you want to live in it, swim in it, so that it can wash away all your problems? 

"I-I will always be there, Y/N. Whatever you decide. I will leave immediately if you want a divorce, I swear I will never show you my face, ever again, if that makes you move on and forget me. But if you want, even for a second to try again? I will do anything to make things right. I won't come close. I won't touch you. I will stay somewhere else. You can be here with your mom and dad. Whatever you want, but if even for a moment, e-even as a forbidden thought, you think of trying? Please tell me?" He pleads, holding your hand, without moving his eyes from yours, as if afraid of losing the hope for the both of you. 

You inhale and exhale as an exercise your first therapist told you to do when anxious. His hands feel so warm you can't help but grab it, nails digging in his skin to make yourself make a decision. His face softens at your gesture. 

"Y/N I am very-" 

"Wait." 

You hold his hand and put it gently on your slightly 5 month swollen baby belly. He widens his eyes as after two seconds, you feel the baby kick again. This time without someone saying the word 'dad'. 

After five months, your baby felt the touch of the only person you could ever dream of having a family with. Jungkook, your husband, the love of your life. When you both stare at your belly, smiling, for a moment, you let go, you stop your compulsive mind to stop thinking of the consequences. You let yourself feel his hands. The warmth. The comfort, all seeping in. 

When you look up at him, you see that his eyes are wide, his chin quivering and his nose getting redder by the second, a sob leaving his mouth as you start crying too. The distance and the problems between you both getting overpowered by the feeling of fullness. The betrayal is not a part of your thoughts for the first time, only for a moment, but your mind felt happy.

The situation and the hand on your belly makes your mind feel a sad Déjà vu of the night he told you about what he did.

"She knows me. She knows her dad!" his voice gets you out of the memory you went in, and you see his face brightening up.

He sobs, and you feel your heart clench at this sight. Can things ever get better? Do you even see a future without tears along with Jungkook? Is your therapist right? Do you really think you could work this out? What if this is all due to hormones and you regret it later? But didn't the doctor and the therapist both say that you need the most loved person in your life to give you comfort and calm you down in anxious episodes? But what if he himself is the reason for the anxiety? 

These emotions are fucking with your head and you need to talk to the therapist yourself. Maybe with him this time. 

"Y/N?" 

He pats the back of your hand with his, hesitating for a second, afraid of your reaction to him holding your hand. Seeing that you didnt flinch, he continued, 

"You zoned out." 

You look at him blankly, his confused expressions mirroring your emotions. You feel your throat close up at the thought of saying you wanna try. Try again. You feel like you are betraying yourself. Letting your past depressed self down, but why dont you feel your heart clogging? Why are his red yet warm, familiar eyes so comforting? 

You certainly can not forget what he did. But would trying again be bad? Would it turn out to be disastrous? Do you really think that the cliché about couples therapy might be true? Can the issues between two people be solved by a stranger? Would you even be able to talk openly about your relationship? 

Looking at your dazed and blurry eyes, he takes one of his hands and pets your hair, slightly stroking it, understanding that you need him right now. He caresses your hair and untangles the knots you created while clutching your head. 

"I'm here. I'm always here with you. No matter what you choose, hm?" 

Your mind finally focuses on what you want, and you slightly sit up, tightening your hold on his hand. He knows it's now or never. You're gonna choose, and he is gonna have to make peace with whatever your choice is. If it means never showing you his face again, he will take it. But if you choose him? Choose to give him another chance? He will do whatever it takes to make things right.

You open your mouth to close it once again, his eyes wide with hope and concern when he sees you squeezing your eyes as if to rip the bandage off. 

"Should we give us another chance?" You whispered with a tight grip on his palm as if scared of letting yourself hear the words. Looking up, you ask him again, 

"Could we ever be us again?" You asked in a hushed whisper with a tear falling out of your eye. He felt his heart beat faster at you, giving him another chance. This time, he will make sure you dont regret this decision. He wanted to hug you so bad, wanted to kiss your tears away, and hold you while promising the second chance would be a decision he would make you happy that you did.

Instead, respecting your boundaries, he just squeezes your hand and says with a small-teary smile. 

"We would be better than before at this, Y/N. I promise."

••••••••••

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Authors note: hie! I am back with another chapter, and I know it's been a long time since I updated, but I've been going through a lot of changes in my life right now and I really wanted to upload this last week, but I was busy with my internship interview preperation and assignments and exams.

Also, it's fiction, so let's just be calm because I love every BTS member, too, just like the readers of this series. Anyone who wishes to be a part of Lost Cause taglist, please message me or send me an ask! I love you all! Hehe~ plea

[bean-in-dice]

A little Li Lun Character Analysis

Ok call me insane but I think Li Lun will really understand what Female Rage is.

Maybe I've seen way too much Gongdou dramas but think, he was a very untamed demon, as wild as he could get, quite unlike Zhu Yan who was a more humanized ape demon. Both due to his inherent nature as a tree and because he just didn't have much exposure to human world other than the TWO times he ventured to it, tagged along with Zhu Yan, and they were like what, at least a few centuries old already.

Imagine that! You are centuries old and the second time you come on a market date at mortal world, you see your own kind being tortured and held in captive in a dungeon! And the first external reaction of your bestie/love interest/charge who was the bridge between Wilderness and this suddenly horrific human world was to not show the same panic you did.

I would freak out too!

Now listen, I'm not defending that he killed unrelated innocent civilians. He did and it was wrong, even though his lash out was somewhat understandable when put to perspective.

And then what happened? He was quick to be given eternal jail time. Nobody even explicitly showed him concern about his severe burn wounds, and he was kept in dark about how the imprisonment was a so called "kindness" because it kept him from dying from the burns, up until the LAST MOMENT he broke the imprisonment himself and burned away!!!

Since the show only told us what happened with the prosecution of Li Lun and not with the Pharmacy, we cannot say whether Zhu Yan/Baize Goddess/Demon Hunting Bureau were just as fast to lock the place down and tried to bring the people to justice, all we know is that immediately after Li Lun was imprisoned, Blood Moon happened and Baize Goddess and Demon Hunting Bureau were killed, so the pharmacy people naturally got away even though they might have been under a legal process because well, all the upholders of law just died and the only remaining one withdrew because he was overwhelmed with guilt.

So basically everything went downhill outside while Li Lun was banished to damp and gloomy Da Huang and he was as good as forgotten in the heat of the moment. Even if someone maybe meant to properly talk to him and explain shit, none of them ever came because they died! And due to this very same guilt and other baggage, Zhu Yan never ever visited Li Lun in jail for 8 years either. And Li Lun was left to make whatever he wanted out of it, and he did, as well an abandoned, silenced, free spirit of nature in endless agony bound in a musty cave would.

One might think his wrath with Zhu Yan was so overdramatic as if it's been hundred years of beef whereas it's only been 8 years, but when put into context like this, 8 were more than enough, don't you think? It only shows just how fast and strongly his pain and resentment built up.

And the world called him obsessed, delusional, hysterical and villainized him to hell and back... including his only connection to the world, Zhu Yan.

And he tried and tried to understand why, to the best of the ability of a lonely tree with no methods of meaningful communication left with the outside. Obviously he failed, but he tried.

And nobody ever tried to understand him.

He was the Attic wife in a Gothic novel. He was the concubine in Cold Palace, and he was the name-called first wife of a wastrel of nobleman with 3 other mistresses. Look I just watched the first 2 eps of the currently airing Cdrama Blossoms and I just got into a mood ok.

In the end, he obeyed the "last mercy of Zhao Yuanzhou". Or more specifically, he finally got to hear that his Zhu Yan was thinking of his wellbeing all this time and all his hatred melted away in a second.

And when he saw that Zhu Yan was in danger, he threw away the life and second chance he so longed for and returned for Zhu Yan’s assistance... and his only words to Zhu Yan were:

"A moment is more than enough."

And after that, he wouldn't speak directly to Zhu Yan anymore, wouldn't touch him, only addressing him via Zhuo Yichen: having recognized Zhuo Yichen as his love's current priority/the person Zhu Yan cares for more than he does for him. Zhu Yan might object that no, they both are equally important to him, but clearly, that's not how Li Lun read him, and honestly after everything who can blame him? Not even the so called "last mercy" was given to him face-to-face by Zhu Yan, so it's no wonder if Li Lun believes that Zhu Yan doesn't really care much to speak let alone continue a relationship with him, just that Zhu Yan didn't want him to die, which is a pretty low bar.

"Zhuo Yichen, please help me protect Zhu Yan from now on", Li Lun says as he holds Zhuo Yichen and gazes into his eyes, as if he's trying to parse out what made Zhuo Yichen more worthy of Zhu Yan’s love, defense and care than him.

"Zhuo Yichen, look carefully! Do not miss!", he says in his last moments. Remember me, the one who loved Zhu Yan first. I was once special to him too. Do not be like me, but know that I had a glorious presence in his life as well.

He doesn't turn to look again at Zhu Yan, he doesn't see Zhu Yan desperately clambering after him, to keep him from dying to buy them -Zhu Yan and Zhuo Yichen- more time. Maybe he heard Zhu Yan calling his name brokenly, but it was already too late.