#and walked to school uphill both ways in the snow

[whumpninja]

Who's a character you like whumped?

This is definitely gonna age me, but Kirk and Spock from the original Star Trek. It’s best when one of them is getting whumped and the other one is either having to watch or is desperately trying to help. There is a lot of whump in Star Trek, and the old stuff just hits, y’know?

[bumblingbabooshka]

[corneliaavenue]

.

[loungemermaid]

Do we think there’s horses or bikes in Twelve, because I know Katniss walks everywhere but I’m just thinking of how my crippled ass(and by extension, Peeta) would be getting around everywhere. I know one of the first things people add in the fairytale/pastoral ones is horses, but I Need to Know.

Also, Suzanne, if there’s goats and pigs why don’t we hear about people keeping chickens? The Seam should be overrun by yard chickens.

[geejaysmith]

S4!William is the equivalent of the possessed!Riku boss fight in Kingdom Hearts 1, complete with 2 minute and 10 second cutscene that the original PS2 version has no mechanism to let you skip.

[whoslaurapalmer]

my brother is playing ace attorney on steam and sending me updates and I was like '???? did they upgrade the art???' and he said 'yeah, it's HD' and I'm just. by god what a time to be alive!!!!!!! ace attorney in HD!!!!!!!!! it looks so smooth and gorgeous!!!!!!!!!! once again restraining myself from buying it for the switch bc I still have a working 3ds with all the games!!!!!! BUT THE HD..............😭

[inkskinned]

it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)

i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.

i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.

i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.

in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.

i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.

i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.

my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.

i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.

i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.

it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.

almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.

i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.

i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.

write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.

[rockyp77mk3]

This is how our parents said they got to school. “Walking 10 miles in the frigid snow fighting off bears and coyotes”

You forgot, "Uphill both ways..."

[incorrectbatfam]

Love them new criminals. Absolute gremlin energy.

Kellin: Gremlins? You call us gremlins? I will have you know that I was once an esteemed member of the League of Assassins and I can snap your neck in a dozen ways.

Molly: You got fired after a week. I wouldn't call that "esteemed."

Kellin: I told you, the turret was unbalanced!

Blaise: Only when you were on it.

Rob: Blaise, Molly, quit bullying Kellin and help me unload these supplies before my back gives out.

Milo: Boomer.

Rob: So that's is the thanks I get for housing you.

Milo: I'm only here 'cause Blaise sleeps in my car.

Rob: You don't have a job, you barely do any online school, and you can't even be bothered to put your dirty socks away.

Otto: Back in my day kids had more respect. I was delivering papers by ten and deployed in 'Nam by the time I was your age.

Milo: Mhm, and you had to walk five miles uphill both ways to school in the snow.

Otto: Damn right I did!

Mac, holding a box: Hey guys, where do you want these extra motors?

Gene: I'll take them. I've been working on a new chicken wing launcher. Patent pending.

Rob: Yeah, no. Your last prototype left the apartment smelling like lemon pepper for a week. Booker, put these in storage for me, please.

Booker: Yes sir! Uh... which storage?

Rob: There's only one.

Milo, looking outside: Guys...

Rob: One sec, I need to check something.

Milo: Um, guys.

Rob: I said hold on.b

Milo: *tugs Rob's sleeve*

Rob: *turns around to face Bruce*

Rob: Hey, Batman. What's up?

Bruce: A little birdie told me about some concerning activity.

Rob: Here? Not in the slightest.

Kellin: *hides*

Mac: *steps in front of the supplies*

Milo, under his breath: Don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious.

[alex99a]

Sunday Funnies, morning edition for August 18.

School starts here tomorrow. Back in the day the kids got out for the summer before Memorial Day and didn't go back until after Labor Day, they got a full three months off. Now, since they call a snow day if there are more than three snowflakes visible at any one time they get lots of snow days during the school year and only about two months off for summer vacation. Of course, I had to walk to school uphill both ways back then and now they all ride the bus, so maybe they do have it better now.

[sukunasthightattoos]

Uncle!Sukuna: why the fuck won't you put that damn game down and go outside. When I was your age I'd be gone for days

Nephew!Yuji: Yes you walked to school uphill in the snow both ways, we know old man. But listen, you'd love this game if you tried it I promise! :D

Uncle!Sukuna: doubtful. And watch your tongue, punk ass!

Nephew!Yuji: no really, look! It's a cult simulator!

Uncle!Sukuna:

Nephew!Yuji: :3

Uncle!Sukuna:

Nephew!Yuji: :33

Uncle!Sukuna: ....give it to me

[jadeleechsupportgroup]

Rhapsody in Teal - 2

Your classes are hard enough when you are able to concentrate. Too bad right now you can’t.

Grim swiped your pencil after he saw you gnawing on the end of it, though once he realized it was not even tasty, let alone edible, he abandoned it in favor of a dried salmon skin you never told him was from a bag of dog treats.

You sigh and pack up your notebook and two of your textbooks. “I’ll be back later,” you call through the empty halls of the dorm to wherever he went. He doesn’t reply, but you can hear him chewing, so all you can do is hope it’s not the leg of the couch again and leave.

Unlike literally everyone else at school, you have to walk (five miles uphill both ways in the snow) to get to the mirror chamber. By the time you get there, you already regret it, but you’ve come this far so it seems stupid to turn back now. You sigh and head for the Octavinelle mirror. It’s been long enough that you only flinch a little whenever you go through a mirror for fear of smacking into it face-first. But you still flinch.

The long, gently sloping corridor dips below the surface of the water quickly. It’s dark now, so you can’t see much outside the glass walls, apart from the lights lining the other enclosed bridges and the dorm. Once in a while, you think you spot a flicker of light - maybe a fish, or some glowing algae - but overall it seems to be just a passing reflection on the window. There’s something undeniably creepy about Octavinelle. You don’t see any security cameras, but you feel like you’re being watched.

You shake the thought out of your head. As weird as the so-called fish mafia might be, you’re confident they have better things to do than follow you around. They seem to have an endless list of students due for a shakedown.

You hang a right at the first intersection and pull open one of the double doors to the Lounge. An altogether different atmosphere washes gently over you - lively conversation, clinking glasses and plates, subdued piano music. The aroma of grilled meat wafts over from the kitchen and reminds you of the long-ignored hunger gnawing at your elbows.

The student at the host stand leads you to a table and hands you a menu. Out of habit, you look at the prices first and mentally search for the lowest ones. You have the Twisted Wonderland equivalent of, like, $10.

“I would recommend any of the tea lattes, myself.”

Startled, you look up from the menu to see Jade seated neatly across from you, having arrived without a sound. He rests his chin in one hand with a lazy smile as his other hand draws little circles on the table. “The rose blend in particular is especially good for relieving the stress of studying.”

“That sounds good.” It’s true - you hate the bitterness of coffee, and although you like sugary drinks, they make it impossible for you to sleep as your blood tries to vibrate in harmony with the universe. You take a second look at him. “I think you have…something in your hair.” You gesture on your own head to show him where.

“Hm?” He mirrors your movements and walks his fingers toward the top of his head. He locates the object and slides it out of the wet strands. “Oh, goodness. How embarrassing.” He doesn’t look embarrassed about the tiny orange starfish clinging to his finger. He looks…

…hungry.

Jade seems to remember where he is and excuses himself for a moment, hopefully to return the creature to a safe location. He must have been out swimming, then, and recently if his hair is still wet. You try not to put much thought into it and look back at the menu.

“Hiiiiiieeeeee.”

The voice next to your ear makes you jump so badly that you drop the menu again and send your silverware all over the table. You twist around and see the unmistakable teeth of Floyd Leech about three inches away from your head.

You give him a very small wave. “Erm. Hi. Floyd.”

“Thanks for the snaaa~aaack!” he says in a singsong voice, beaming down at you. Before you can ask what he means by that, there’s a crash from somewhere in the kitchen. He perks up like a dog and darts away to investigate.

Jade’s laugh tiptoes into your range of hearing. “I hope he did not pester you too much.”

You want to tell him that he and his brother are doing nothing to dispel the creepy vibes of the place, but you don’t. “No, it’s fine. Must be an interesting one to live with, though.”

“Indeed, never a dull moment, as they say.” He tilts his head a bit. “Do you have any siblings?”

You collapse inward a little bit and hope it’s not showing on your face. “Could we talk about something else?” You ask it so quietly you’re afraid you’ll have to say it again, and you really don’t want to explain.

Jade takes the misstep in stride and pretends it never happened. He motions for a server and orders several things: the tea latte he suggested for you, a separate beverage for himself, a wild mushroom salad, a charcuterie plate, a selection of macarons, and a charred lemon pudding.

“That’s a lot,” you say with a noticeable quiver in your voice. “I can’t, um…I mean-”

“There is no need to be concerned.” Jade rests his folded hands on the table and looks at you placidly. “I will take care of everything.”

You wonder just how many times he’s said those words. And you’re half tempted to ask why he’s doing all this, but you aren’t wealthy enough to go around looking gift horses in their mouths. You remember that much.

You haven’t told a soul, and you don’t even want to admit it to yourself, but you have had a massive crush on Jade since day one.

You were fine with it being just a crush. At the time, you had no idea you would be sticking around for so long, and you definitely had much more important things to worry about. But you couldn’t help it. He was so different from most of the other students. He was polite. He wasn’t a showoff. He didn’t fly into a rage about trivial things. Okay, so you found yourself listing the absolute bare minimum for a boyfriend, but it was true.

Except now you’ve been here for months, and it’s starting to look like a rather permanent arrangement.

The tea arrives first. You wrap both hands around the ceramic cup and lift it to your nose, then close your eyes and draw in a deep breath to let the aroma fill your head. Three breaths, then one sip. Ace pitched a fit about it since Riddle made him write it fifty times in a row for skipping out on a dorm meeting, but it was genuinely good advice. The blend has a lovely balance of white tea, rosebuds, and mint, with just a slight aftertaste of caramelized sugar that lingers on your tongue.

(Maybe you know more about tea than you thought.)

You open your eyes to find Jade watching you, as patient and pleasant as ever.

“Do I have something in my hair this time?” you ask shyly.

His mouth pulls into a smile. “It is not so often that I encounter a fellow tea enthusiast,” he explains.

“What did you get?” You try to peer into the mug he’s holding, leaning toward him subconsciously.

His smile makes you want to smile back. “Would you like to try it?”

“Oh, um-” But he’s already gently sliding the cup toward you. It smells deeper and stronger than what you ordered. At first you think it’s a chai, but the cinnamon turns out to be misleading. It’s lighter than it appears. You forget your manners for a hot minute and drink almost a third of it in repeated attempts to figure out what the hell it is. Complex, rich, delightful…and a complete mystery.

You nudge the cup back toward the center of the table. “You got me,” you admit. “I don’t think I’ve ever had that one before.”

Jade looks delighted.

“Y’knoooow…” An arm languidly drapes itself around your shoulders. “You prooobably shouldn’t put anything from Jade in your mouth.” Floyd’s giggling is completely unhinged. “Don’t know what it is or where it’s beennn~”

For once, Jade drops his smile. “There is no need to be crass, Floyd.”

“Floyd!”

Floyd rolls his eyes hard enough that his skull collides with yours. “What?”

Azul looks furious. “Get back to work.”

“Ughhh,” he groans loud enough for half the room to hear. But it’s enough to send him on his way.

Azul lets out a withering sigh. “I do apologize for his behavior.”

“It’s fine,” you manage, because you would rather die than set even one boundary. “Thanks.”

Azul leaves at a brisk tempo to catch up to the other twin.

“It is reishi.”

You give Jade the blankest expression you have. “Huh?”

“The tea,” he says calmly. “Reishi mushrooms.”

“Ohhh.” The flavors make more sense now. “That’s cool. I didn’t know they made tea with mushrooms.” Although, in hindsight, you don’t know why that’s a surprise.

“Foraging is quite a hobby of mine.” Jade’s mood has improved dramatically with the chance to discuss his interests coupled with the absence of his incorrigible shadow.

It’s out of your mouth before you can stop it. “I don’t think I’ve ever done that.”

You’re not trying to invite yourself along. What you are trying to do is what you’ve been trying to do since you first got here, which is Remember Important Shit. You’re pretty sure nobody knows just how much of your memory got bonked out of your head on your way to this world. You wanted to keep it that way. It’s safer.

So, oops.

“You would be welcome to join me.” Jade subtly rotates the cup so that when he picks it up, it’s on the same side you drank from.

There goes your heart again, clattering to the floor and catapulting itself up into your throat. “Yeah,” you say weakly. “That would be cool.”

Jade escorts you back to the hall of mirrors when you’re done. You find yourself yawning out of nowhere, and you try to hide it, but he just laughs.

“Reishi mushrooms are often used as a sleep aid,” he explains. “I admit I did not intend for you to drink so much of it at once.”

“That’s what I get for being uncultured or something.” You clench your jaw through another yawn.

“Will you be able to make it back to your dorm safely?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You scratch the back of your neck sheepishly. “Thanks. For the tea and everything.”

Jade bows gently to you. “It is my pleasure, miss.”

You and Jade both freeze in stunned silence at what he said. The world stops turning.

“…you…you know?”

Now he does look well and truly embarrassed, and you sense he was told not to say anything. “I do, yes.” It’s all he really can say.

Panic rips through your chest. “Who else?”

Jade directs his gaze away from you in a silent refusal to answer.

“Jade. Who else knows.” Your ears hurt from the throbbing of your own pulse. This is a disaster. This is catastrophe. This is nuclear.

“Myself, Floyd, and Azul, for certain,” he says evenly. “And I suspect at least one-quarter of the beastman population have guessed. It has to do with…”

You’ve stopped listening, because you’re about to start crying. “Shit. Shit. Fuck. Shit. No one’s supposed to know.” Air. You need air. You turn and run. It’s not safe here anymore. You won’t be safe now.

1 | {2} | 3 | 4 | 5

[chirpingfromthebox]

I know, I know...you should never read the comments.

But I'm a curious kind of idiot. And something I've noticed in my mental damaging adventures is the frequency of statements that make me worry about NHL fans.

Whenever there's an issue where PWHL fans are talking about something in the league they don't like I'll inevitably see some people in the comments criticizing them for voicing these complaints. And they're always saying some wild "In my day I had to walk to school in the snow...uphill...both ways!" style arguments about how these aren't real problems because the NHL does all those things too except it's even worse.

They'll be like, "These snowflakes need to get over themselves! They're complaining about this dumb stuff? Whenever we go to NHL games the people at the security gate squirt lemon juice in our eyes and fill our shoes with sand. And if you think tweets are bad look at the criminal records of our players! One of the captains is wanted for actual war crimes, but the NHL lobbyists stopped him from being extradited. Heck, when I was a kid we went to a game where the owner of the San Jose Sharks used my dad as a footstool and said that he'd move the team to a different city if we didn't go along with it...and you don't hear us complaining! Because the hockey is the only thing that matters!"

Like, damn, are you NHL fans okay? What are they doing to you over there? Do you need me to call somebody for you?

[ardent-heretic]

Wifey and I enjoy mocking people that bitch a lot. Nextdoor and FB show us a lot of posts, painting a picture of the people in the community.

We are in a FB group for the school district. The off the handle parents are fantastic reading materials. Today’s topic is this supposed end of days heat wave. Background: the schools were built ages ago and certain wings and rooms don’t have AC. I always thought this was insane since school is in session June and early September, whatever. They try their best. Some rooms have window AC units. There are giant fans everywhere circulating air. They get by.

We are in Upstate New York. Heat index ratings for today through Thursday are in the 102-107 ranges.

A few days ago sone school districts started saying every day will be a half day to avoid afternoon heat. So the Karen’s started ruffling feathers and making posts to draw attention to themselves, and pine for internet validation.

“Syracuse schools are half day, why aren’t we?”

“My poor Johnny was nauseous last week and it was only 87.”

“I heard Fart Hill district may cancel school altogether.”

“Trump wouldn’t make our kids go to school in this heat.”

“Why does my poor Bobby need to sweat while that Nazi Superintendent sits in his fancy air conditioning?”

“My child said 8 people vomited on the bus from heat.” Sure they did.

Bitch moan bitch moan.

My Wife and I read our favorites to each other.

This morning there were 57 comments asking about the situation at 6 am. Yesterday, the school sent out an email saying a decision will be made this morning after seeing updated weather reports.

At 6:54 I receive a blast email saying school is a half day and gives the dismissal time for each school. So now comes phase two of the bitch moan movement.

“How am I supposed to work if my kid comes home at 12:15?”

“This Nazi Superintendent gets to go home and day drink. I need to be at work. Who will watch my daughter? Should she just sit on the porch in the heat?”

“How dare this district send our kids home while I am working! I don’t have afternoon day care.”

“They should think of the parents, not the children. Biden made groceries expensive. I need to work.”

“If only the district let us know this was a possibility!!!” See yesterday’s emails.

“There is no snow, why is this a snow emergency day?” No idea where this came from.

Bitch Moan Bitch Moan.

No matter what happens everyone has to cry. Tough it up. Back when I was a kid I walked uphill both ways to school. It would be so hot the asphalt would eat the soles of my shoes and birds would fall out of the sky and hit me.

[sunsetsongwind]

I climbed my way out of the Primordial Soup and walked uphill both ways to school IN THE SNOW! WHILE BEING ATTACKED BY VELOCIRAPTORS!

[wolverinedoctorwho]

story time: i walked uphill both ways to school (no, genuinely)

The town I grew up in has a lot of hills, some very, very steep. One of those steep hills is in my neighborhood, between my house and what used to be the middle school.

It looked, roughly, like this:

Now, if my house is to the left of this image, and my school is to the right, you can see that, no matter which direction I walk, I would head down the steep hill on one side and up the steep hill on the other. And I did! And it SUCKED!

Eventually I got to high school, which aside from being an extra five minutes walk, also had a hill that looked, more roughly, like this:

My house is on the right in this image, and the school on the left. As you can see, I had to walk downhill away from my house, walk uphill a bit, walk downhill a bit, climb up the big hill, and then go down on the other side to get to school. The heights definitely aren't as dramatic as I'm drawing them, but they sure FEEL dramatic when it's August and you're wearing long sleeves so you don't break dress code (and bc in the warmer months they keep it very cold in the school building) and you have a full backpack and a 15 minute trek home.

"Now Lily," you may be asking, "if you did walk uphill both ways to school, as the memes foretold, did you ever do it in the snow?"

Yeah, actually. Not super heavy snow, mind you, this is Arkansas, but there were a couple of times I walked home while it was actively snowing. More often then not though it would just be raining really hard.

TLDR - I walked uphill both ways to school. Life is funny that way.