#and vini deserves all the friends

[rmbaloncesto]

shai: the kid in Madrid 🇪🇸

[madridfangirl]

Star crossed lovers (Jude Bellingham fic)

Chapter 5

(Series Link)

Jude * female reader. Mature Language in parts.

Synopsis: A chance encounter in a tiny Madrid cafe with the newest superstar of her fav club. The two couldn't be more different, yet both feel the pull toward the other. Would this girl be the one he finally falls for? Would she make him change his ways? Even though she resists him every step of the way, would he fight all odds (& her) to have her in his life? Or would life come in the way of these star-crossed lovers?

..........................................................

Ananya reached her apartment around 1 am. Roma was not back yet, thankfully. She wasn’t ready for her interrogation. 

The night still felt surreal. She leaned against the dining table and held on to the edges to steady the head-rush she was feeling. If the Tupperware of leftover pasta was not in front of her (he had insisted she took some coz she had barely eaten), the girl would have seriously wondered if she had hallucinated the whole thing. But no, this really happened. And she didn’t bail on whatever this was, as she had initially planned to do.

The wine was still buzzing in her system, helping calm her nerves. Before turning in for the night, she sent him a quick message.

Ananya: Reached 15 mins ago. Thanks for the drop. 

She wasn’t expecting a response. He must have a ton of people to talk to / respond to after the match earlier that night. So she started an episode of Friends, hoping to fall asleep in a bit.

5 mins later, her phone flashed.

Jude: Cool. Tired?

Ananya: Oh yeah, in bed already. You?

She rubbed her temple to soothe her straining eyes. It had been some day. 

Jude: Wanted to crash but some of the guys still partying at Vini’s house. Cama kept sending me videos, gosh he’s so wasted right now. Came there for a bit.

She smiled at her phone. The team deserved every bit of celebration tonight.

Ananya: That’s nice. Have fun :)

Jude: Yup. What plans for tmrw? Boss cancelled our training so I am free till afternoon. 

Ananya: Have to work a few hours in the morning, which might extend, not sure.

Jude: On Sunday morning?

Ananya: Welcome to investment banking.

Jude: Keep forgetting how smart you are.

Ananya: Not that smart, but ok :)

Jude: So, I have an ad shoot tomorrow evening, then flying out for an away game on Monday after training. Don’t know when I will see you next.

A wave of sadness hit her, surprising her with its force. Her brain admonished her. She had only just met him and she needed to get a grip. 

Ananya: It’s fine. Will figure something when you are back.

Jude: Hmm. Haven’t even kissed you yet and you are already messing with my head.

The sadness was replaced by a warm shiver as she stared at the screen and thought of a response. But couldn’t come up with any.

Jude: Did you just fall asleep on me? 

Ananya: Stop being dramatic. I am right here.

Jude: Naa, wish you were HERE. Why’d you leave?

Ananya: Jude, you know why.

There was something about the way she said his name that made him want to hear it on loop, in various settings. God damnit this girl.

Jude: Yeah yeah. You thought we won’t be able to keep it in our pants.

She choked on water, and some spilled out on her blanket. 

Ananya: How drunk are you?

Jude: Plentyyyy. Don even know what’s been shoved down my throat anymore. 

Ananya: Figures :)

Jude: One last thing. Veryyyy important, like proper critical. 

Ananya: Yes?

Jude: Need to see you in my jersey. 

She smiled to herself before typing.

Ananya: Maybe win the Madrid derby next, score the winner, and then we’ll talk?

Jude: Tough, tough crowd. No mercy. No rest for the wicked. No respect for the Classico winner. 

He was even more dramatic when he was drunk. She could almost hear the whining from his texts.

Ananya: Good night, Jude :)

Jude: Good night, dove. Try not to dream of me too much. Mwahhh!

She smiled at the screen and ended up kissing it, finally drifting off to sleep.

Next morning, she woke up to a message from him. Sent at 5 am. A drunk out of their wits pic with Jude, Cama and Fede. Along with a caption.

Jude: Your preciousss Cama.

Then, another message from a few seconds later.

Jude: Don’t stare too long. 

She responded with a heart emoji to the picture and got started with her day.

Next few hours were hectic. She got into her work mode, shutting out all the madness that had transpired the day before.

Still, in between, her eyes drifted to her phone, to see if there were any new messages. Poor guy must have been sleeping. Or busy. He did say he had an ad shoot in the second half.

She somehow pulled through the day, and it was almost 5 pm when she finally finished work. Roma was also on the same project. The girls sighed about it being Monday morning just  next day, and decided to make the most of their remaining evening. 

They ended up at the same cafe where Ananya had met him the other day. Was it just two days ago? God - so much had happened since then.

She ordered her favourite churros and took a picture. Then wondered whether she should send it to him. Would it look desperate? Like she was just seeking his attention? She couldn’t have that.

But it was a harmless pic. He would get the reference. Deciding to not overthink it, she ended up sending the photo with a caption.

Ananya: Back to ground zero!

No blue tick for over 15 mins.

Roma rolled her eyes at her then.

‘Can you stop the sappiness? Look around - lovely day. Lovely food. Let’s get some Sangria and let the world go to hell.’

Her roommate was the best. The two perfectly complimented each other. Plus, her American upbringing lent her this carefree attitude which Ananya really wished to imbibe.

‘Well, how can anyone say no to Sangria?’

The girls ordered a pitcher and ended up staying there for a few hours. Gossiping about their colleagues. Talking about life. Planning a vacation - Sevilla and Granada were top of their list. They looked up their calendars and found a long weekend that seemed ideal. The prospect itself making them cheerful.

By the time they got back, it was already 9 pm. There was still nothing from him. Not even a blue tick. She knew he was working. Yet, an ugly thought still creeped in - was this just a one night distraction? Did he already…lose interest after she dumped her constraints on him? All her doubts from last night came rushing back, leaving an unpleasant taste in her mouth.

She got into bed and tried watching a movie. Anything random to keep her thoughts at bay. While scrolling through her insta.

And there it was - a post from him a few mins ago about the ad campaign for a cologne. With a gorgeous, stunning model at his arm. Ofcourse. 

The first photo looked like a part of the creative. The two were dressed immaculately in all black, she was leaning against his chest while his hand rested just above her butt. Seductiveness oozing from every inch of that frame.

The next was a BTS video - of him just being goofy on set while getting ready or trying to take a shot & not getting it right. The whole crew just getting charmed by his antics and boyish smiles. The model, in particular being extra supportive, extra attentive, giggling a bit too hard while holding onto his arm. Perfect hair, perfect figure and perfect skin. Ofcourse. 

And just then, her insta reels recommendation showed Jude hugging multiple female fans who had lined up outside his shoot. They screamed his name, begging for hugs and he obliged. Warm, cozy, Jude hugs. Granted he only wrapped one arm around their shoulder and looked embarrassed when some of them reached up to kiss his cheek or pulled him closer, but still. This wasn’t something she needed to see right now. 

Was this going to be her life from now on? Curled into bed, following his activities on social media, feeling inadequate. She didn’t deserve it. No girl deserved this. 

She threw her phone aside and forced herself to focus on the movie. It was already 9:45, it would be best to get some sleep soon. Next week was going to be super hectic at work. Yes, work is what she needed do focus on. That’s why she was halfway across the world in this city. That was her goal in life right now. Not some ridiculously handsome random boy who made women go weak in their knees everywhere he went. 

Around 10 pm, her phone buzzed. She had tucked herself into bed by then and almost decided to not look at it. But curiosity got the better of her.

Jude: Heyyy. Sorry my phone was not with me. Just getting back from a shoot.

She was equal parts relieved and irritated with that message. Ananya took a deep breath to calm herself down, and thought of a neutral response.

Ananya: Oh yeah, you had mentioned. How did it go?

Jude: Not too bad. Somehow got an ok on my take, that’s all I care about honestly. This acting gig ain’t no joke. 

Ananya: Hmm.

Jude: Churros looked lovely. Hope you had fun.

Ananya: Yep, and yep.

Jude: Tired? Am I keeping you from something?

Ananya: Nope. 

Jude: Why so wry then? What’s happened?

Oh, how she wanted to scream. What’s happened was exactly what she didn’t want to happen. What she swore she won’t put herself through with another boy. And this was amplified 1000 times here coz of who Jude was. 

She started typing, then deleted, then typed again, unable to find the right words. This went on for two mins. 

Jude: Can I call?

She sighed, exasperated. Her voice will immediately give away her irritated and confused state. But he knew something was up and typing like this was getting exhausting.

Ananya: Sure.

He called the next second. She braced herself, then answered. 

‘Hey.’

She couldn’t have possibly made it sound drier even if she tried. 

‘Hey. Wassup?’

‘Nothing, was just about to crash. Already in bed.’

‘Hmm, won’t keep you for long. Just wanna hear your voice.’

Damn him. To the moon and back. Damn his sweet agonising voice. 

‘Why? Looks like you had enough company today.’

The words just tumbled out of her before she could check herself. Great going girl, way to make yourself look pathetic. 

He paused for a few seconds.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Nothing, forget it.’

‘Tell me you’ll sort this on your own and wake up all fine tomorrow morning, I’ll leave it be.’

She knew that wasn’t gonna happen. There was also no way for this to ever work if she wasn’t honest with him. Especially given his situation, things will just compound and then break very quickly. If they ever even get started, that is. 

‘The photos bothered me a bit.’

She could sigh him breathe audibly at the other end - probably getting irritated at her insecurity. Or her immaturity. Maybe both. 

‘What about them bothered you?’

Damn him for always making her spell everything out loud.

‘Just…her? Everything about that stunning woman. Looks like she fancied you.’

She could tell the wheels were churning in his mind at the other end.

‘I see. And you think I should be with someone like her. In fact, maybe I am going to her hotel room right now & talking to you on the way.’

Her silence was deafening. Jude gripped the edge of his seat to not curse out loud. 

‘Ananya - didn’t we speak about this last night? Are we gonna go back full circle here?’

‘I am sorry. It’s just - I don’t know how I could ever compete with someone like that. Also, I don’t want to. I am a normal, regular girl Jude. Don’t need that in my life right now, or ever.’

‘YOU DON’T HAVE TO COMPETE. Can’t you see you have already won?’

Warmth and fuzziness ran over her, making her feel gooey inside. She had to clutch her tummy to arrest that feeling. To arrest the freefall. 

‘You don’t know what’s gonna happen.’

Jude fought the urge to throw his phone against the opposite seat. 

‘DO YOU? Does anyone? Girl, why don’t you believe me when I say I want you? Should I list down how much I have fantasised about you the last two days? How much I wanna…..’

‘Stop, please stop Jude. Please.’

Both were breathing heavily at this point, for different reasons.

‘Can I ask you for one thing, Ananya? Try trusting me till I give you an explicit reason not to. I am not such a dog, y’know. Yes, I have seen multiple girls together before but all parties KNEW it was casual. No commitments. This is not that. This is not a situationship. I would have told you to your face if that’s what I was looking for.’

She clutched her phone close to her chest. Him being who he was had made it all so hard. But he was right - he hadn’t done anything. Well, not yet. 

‘I don’t know what to say, Jude. Like I know a lot of this is in my head but I don’t know how to make it go away.’

Heavy breathing continued at both ends. He broke the silence after a few moments. 

‘How about this? Ask me what you really wanna ask me. All your unsaid questions, assumptions, perceptions about me that make you want to distance yourself. I won’t lie, promise. Be the smart girl I know you are and break it down like you will a work project.’

That was actually a fair suggestion. She could see what he was trying to do by appealing to her logical side. Not just a pretty face. Clearly not. 

She chucked her inhibitions on how crude her questions might sound. He was right - without this they would keep coming back full circle.

‘So…when you said you were dating multiple women together..’

‘Seeing…not dating.’

He clarified before she could go on. It was an important distinction for him. 

‘Yes, seeing them together, how long back was that?’

‘In Dortmund.’

‘Hmmm.’

She didn’t know how to feel about that. So she skipped to the next obvious question.

‘And…what about Madrid?’

‘Seen a couple, texted a couple, but not at the same time.’

‘Ok. When was the last time you were…you know..’

He understood the question before her finishing it.

‘Two weeks ago.’

‘I see.’

That wasn’t too long back. Was he still in touch with her? Did they meet up at his house? Something about the last thought made her feel icky.

‘And, these rendezvous, usually happen where?’

He chuckled at her choice of words. She really was something. 

‘At a hotel close by. It’s a private, exclusive property.’

‘Ofcourse.’

He could tell there was a tinge of sarcasm in that last word but chose to let it go.

‘Are you in touch with her….the last one?’

‘Not since a week.’

She was feeling particularly bold at this point. Jude could anticipate her next question from a mile away.

‘Well, are you planning to?’

‘Nope. Not her. Not anyone else. I will only be with you and you will only be with me. Exclusively.’

He declared without hesitation. Her mouth open and closed at his last line, unsure of how to react. He waited patiently. 

‘And what about the hordes of women who throw themselves at you daily? Who would do absolutely anything you want, and more?’

‘There is no easy fix here. You will have to find a way to believe that I will not stray, I will not indulge them.’

He could have backed his statement with evidence. Coz the model from today did slip him her number & he had politely wriggled out of that. But even he had the good sense to know this wasn't the time to bring that up.

She appreciated how he didn’t try to feed her any rosy crap, really following through on answering honestly. His tone & speed of response gave her enough assurance that he wasn’t being evasive. 

She had run out of questions and said as much to him. Weirdly, in some inexplicable way, this was healing.

‘My turn then.’

This caught her off guard. But it was a fair ask, after the grilling she just put him through. 

‘Sure, go ahead.’

‘Open your door in precisely 1 minute. I will ask in person.’

The phone dropped from her hand as she sat up, landing somewhere under the blanket. She reached for it blindly with one hand while switching on the lights with the other. 

‘What do you mean in person? You don’t know where I live.’

‘Agnes knows.’

Ofcourse. His driver had dropped her home last night. Great, his presence was making her dumb now.

‘But….what if someone sees you? Roma is home too. The house is so messy. And I am, I am..One second, your shoot was on the other side of town and this is not in your way. What would you be doing here? Are you messing with me?’

She rambled faster that the speed of light. He ignored every other comment but picked up on the last one.

‘How did you know where my shoot was?’

Damn. Bloody rotten hell. She groaned audibly on the phone and he laughed out loud.

‘Dove is a stalkerrrrrr!’

He said teasingly, in a sing-song voice. 

Before she could respond, she heard a car honk under her window. No, this couldn’t be. He wouldn’t. Would he?

‘Buzz me in and open the door. I am getting out of the car now.’

Ananya rushed frantically to the door, buzzing the building gate open. The idea of someone seeing him here filling her with nerves. Thankfully, she was on the first floor, half a staircase away from the building door.

Three seconds later, she saw him enter the building. Eight seconds later, she was grabbing his arm and pulling him into the apartment, shutting the door firmly behind them.

What was he thinking? What if someone had seen him outside? The media crap storm would have been unstoppable. How irresponsible was this? The gall of him to show up unannounced like that, anytime he wanted. Oh, she was mad. Raving mad.

Before she could turn around and give him a piece of her mind, strong arms wrapped around her from behind. 

‘Sorry. Just wanted to see you once before I fly out tomorrow. Didn’t want to leave on this note.’

And just like that, he knocked the fight out of her chest. With two simple lines. Frankly she was a goner at sorry itself. The boy carried a magic wand of persuasion with him. 

Her shoulders, which were tensed in anger, dropped as she leaned back into his chest. He kissed the back of her head, conveying his gratitude.

She could stay like this forever. In his warm, comforting hold. His scent, familiar by now (when did that happen?), seeping into her skin, taking over her senses. His big, calloused hands enveloping her smaller ones. Involuntarily, she sighed.

‘Thank you for being honest with me earlier. I feel better now.’

‘I am glad. My turn? Only have one question.’

‘Ofcourse.’

He turned her around in his arms and tilted her chin up to look straight into her eyes.

‘Would you let me kiss you right now?’

Time stood still. She was very numb yet very aware in that moment. The dim lighting in the living room from the night lamp, the faint noise from the street, the rhythmic tapping of feet coming from Roma’s locked room who was blaring music on her headphones. All registering in some peripheral part of her brain.

But what she was hypnotised by was his face, and his eyes, gazing intently at her, drawing her in. How was it ever possible to say no to that face? To those big brown eyes which looked even deeper, softer, more vulnerable than ever before?

She didn’t realise when he took off his jacket, nudged her towards the dining table a short distance away, put his hands on the sides of her waist, lifted her slightly to place her on the table. But when her legs were being parted gently so he could stand in front of her, their torsos touching, her trance broke. The heat radiating from his body was palpable. 

Jude’s face was inches away, almost eye level.  A pleasing, handsome, perfectly symmetrical face. The dim lighting creating a halo around him. Ananya tilted her head to look at Roma’s room and if it was still locked. But he put two fingers on her cheek to turn her back to him.

‘Been waiting for this since I saw you.’

Jude lifted her arms & wrapped them around his neck, while his hands stroked her back. The flimsy fabric of her tank top not providing any barrier; it was almost like he was stroking her skin. Her legs, spread wide apart to fit him in, dangled aimlessly on the edge of the table.

How was he expecting a coherent verbal response from her in this situation?

She slowly slid one of her hands from his long muscly neck to his hair, fingers gliding through the thick, firm, soft curls. Her eyes searching his, telling him this is the best she could do right now.

That was all the signal he needed. Her grip in his hair tightened as he angled his head to cover her lips with his. Plump, pillowy lips caressing hers. Making her tightly shut her eyes and whimper out. Which broke something in him.

He dove in again with more urgency, parting her lips this time, getting them to move in sync with his. She gladly obliged, submitting to his rhythm while her heart hammered against her chest. She wondered if he could hear it too. But he was too occupied with tasting her mouth. All her little sounds & shudders giving him a head rush. His hot breath fanning her cheeks. 

When her whimpers went up an octave, he gave her a little breather, connecting their foreheads as they breathed in the same air. Her hands had fallen to the wide expanse of his shoulders, clutching at them to anchor herself. 

He kissed her forehead, the top of her eyes, and placed two delicate pecks on each cheek. His light stubble grazing her skin. She tilted her head involuntarily along with his movements, giving him ready access, like a puppy would to someone petting it. 

‘Ananya, lemme see you.’

The way he said her name, the fondness in his voice, it was like a silent command she couldn’t deny. Her hands gripped his shoulders tighter as she opened her eyes. 

He smiled affectionately, and it took her breath away. All the walls she had built around herself, all the rules, all the notions of just focusing on her work for now, this boy had bulldozed his way through all that with just his breathtaking smile.

Some part of her still conscious brain tried to chide her that she was no different than any of the other girls fawning over him. All it took was him showering her with his undivided attention and she was putty in his hands. But her brain couldn’t get a word in edgewise, her other senses had taken over. 

Jude reached for her hands, unclasped them from his shoulders, somehow sensing the tension in them. What he did next made her lightheaded. He moved his lips to her palms, placing soft, lingering kisses on both. And then, he moved her hands to his face, as if asking her to hold him. Somehow, this felt even more intimate than their kiss. 

His unending torso was all hard muscle, pressed into hers, but his face was soft. Rugged yet soft. Her hands couldn’t even fully cover his cheeks, she noted absentmindedly. So she used the pads of her thumbs to stroke the rest of his gorgeous face. 

Suddenly, he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer into him. She looked up in surprise, finding darker, hooded eyes. 

‘The next time you wanna run away from me, remember this feeling.’

Not only had his eyes changed colour but his voice had turned hoarse too. Insistent lips crashed into hers, prying them open, his tongue penetrating her mouth. She gasped at the invasion. One of her hands fell from his face  & settled behind her on the table, trying to find balance, as the force of his kiss made her lean backwards, with him looming over her. 

His spare hand gripped her bare thigh to help steady her. She just realised how her tiny sleeping shorts had completely inched up her legs, leaving them almost fully bare. His hand was firm and his fingers dug into her skin, making her head spin.

She lost her balance, despite his support, falling further backwards and knocking down a container behind her on the table. He broke the kiss & stretched his arm to reach for the container, finding it just before it was about to crash on the floor. While she just panted in his hold.

‘Jude…I..’

‘Shhhhh, I got you.’

They fell into a warm, comforting embrace. Arms settling around each others’ backs. Her face resting in the crook of his neck as he quietly stroked her hair.

‘Did it ever occur to you that it’s hard for me to trust as well?’

That made her grudgingly break the hug and look up at him with confused eyes, while their arms remained locked around each other. 

‘It’s tough to figure if someone really likes me for me or it’s the lifestyle, fame, money and exposure that they are after. If a private encounter would remain private or the details would be splashed over some social media later. If some photoshopped images or invented stories be circulated as sworn truth. I have struggled to judge, so honestly I stopped trying. Keeping it just about sex was simpler. Uncomplicated. Convenient. No strings attached.’

No, it hadn’t occurred to her at all. Not till he put it like that. On any other day, she would have been irked at him trying to conveniently defend his conscious indulgences. But it felt more like an admission than justification. 

She stroked his neck and shoulders as he continued being vulnerable with her. 

‘You see, the normal and regular you think to be such a distancing factor, is in fact the opposite. A huge chunk of my life will always be public, I get that. I signed up for that. But this bit, I wanna protect. I’d love to come home to someone normal.’

Ananya stroked his face with all the tenderness she could muster. Trying to show that she understands. From the way he relaxed into her, she figured he got her message. 

Jude knew he had to be careful with her. Seeing her skimpy nightclothes hugging her body tonight had already disrupted his brain chemistry. He couldn’t shake the thought of how easy it would be to just push her on her back then & there. To rid her of the flimsy fabric barely covering her form l, with one determined tug. 

That’s why he knew he had to leave soon, while he was still thinking with his head. She wasn’t ready, not yet. 

‘That your room?’

He tilted his head towards the open door at the end of the corridor. 

‘Uh-huh.’

‘Want me to carry you in and tuck you into bed? I will leave after a goodnight kiss.’

She met his gaze with a twinkle in her eye, cocking her head sideways, biting her lip slowly. His eyes followed every little movement. 

‘Think you can handle being in my bedroom just to tuck me in?’

Boy, he didn’t see that coming. Didn’t know she had it in her. It immediately made him even more interested. The open challenge in her eyes, the suggestive tone, and that jutting out bottom lip. That needed to be responded to.

He leaned in and bit down at the same spot on her lower lip, making it sting a bit, then flicking it with his tongue. His hand gripped her bare thigh again, knocking the sass out of her.

‘Lippy. So lippy. I love it.’

He continued rubbing circles on her thigh with his thumb till he drew a moan out of her, despite her biting her cheek to keep it in.

‘Your pretty brain may not approve of me yet, but your body is definitely #TeamJude.’

She gasped, and he chose that moment to lean in for a deep goodnight kiss. Making it wet & sloppy, on purpose, so much so that she had to wipe her mouth with the back of her hand when he was done with her.

‘Sleep tight, dove. Talk to ya tomorrow. And..’

He leaned in to whisper in her ear, enunciating each word.

‘Will think about you tonight. Maybe in the car as well.’

With one last attempted wink, he bid her goodbye and walked out. While she was still perched up on the table, her body tingling everywhere he had touched her, her lips tasting of him, and her mind reeling from what had just happened.

……………………… 

There it is. Was delayed because, well, the pictures threw me off :)

As always, feedback / comments are always welcome. Hope you are enjoying their journey so far!

[jaes1lvr]

associate your moots with your fav song, now!!

ive been seeing these & they are absolutely adorable:( but sorry i didnt do the max 😣😓💔 my brain was REALLY flowing for this!!!

@dovedi — DINA POOKIE 😇 youve been with me from the start and we connected so easily! youre so funny and i miss our random convos:( but i adore you sm 🫂 we are literally soul mates!!!! it feels like i known you before & youre always so supportive. YOURE THE FIRST OFFICAL JAE BAE so i gave this song to you:) 💘💌 ILYSM!!!!

@gigittamic — GIGI GIRL 🎀 youre one of the sweetest ppl on here & it seems where ever i look on here, you are nothing but positive ☹️ you always are leaving sweet comments on mine & others mdbds!!! this is why i associate you with this song, because i want that same type of kind energy your way 24/7 💌 much love to you always <333

@fairytopea — THEE VINI is an icon & legend when it comes to dividers + mdbds!!! your work literally represents your bubbly personality & im so honored to have come across you! it makes me sooo happy interacting with you:) idk i feel like this is a song that could represent you (PLEASE trust my vision 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽) but literally thank you sm for always being so encouraging & kind! ILY 😭💘

@jenfaery — MARIIII our interactions are so special to me! idk i feel like i known you another life or something 😭😭😭 but i absolutely admire you & your mdbds sm 💐💗 its literally a BLESSING to see your username under any of my posts & youre the definition of a sweetheart, so i picked this song for you 🫶🏽☹️ ILYSM GIRL >_< /♡♡♡

@p-oisn — CHI BABY youre so precious & incredibly talented. whenever we interact, i really take it to heart because youre just a legend when it comes to mdbds 😓 your mdbds are so 😻😻 AND IDK HOW YOU ALWAYS DO IT??!!! youre also super encouraging & i really appreciate your welcoming aura all the time💘💗 im hoping you see where i am coming from with this song ‼️ ILY CHI :3

@yeritos — JUNE THE MOTHER OF MDBDS!!! youre one of the 1st accounts that inspired me to start making mdbds & for that youre super important to me 🩷💯💯 from your blog to your mdbds EVERYTHING IS JUST SO PERFECT 😝 and i apsire to be as great as you are. you are also incredibly kind 🫶🏽🫶🏽😊 thanks for being a trendsetter lowkey ���� i hope my song choice makes sense??? but june, you deserve everything <3

@seunghnie — DAE your blog is the cutest thing ever! your mdbds are ALWAYS too cute & you genuinely seem so down to earth 😣💔💔 i love seeing you on my feed and i appreciate whenever you comment on my posts 🩷🩷 i hope to see more of you soon!!! i feel like this song could represent you because you seem like a warm person, that can positively change someones mood 😇 much love to you, friend <333

[anintrovertwriter]

Vinicius imagine, Forever support

I just came home after my running session. I had to keep healthy and in form, and even though Vini didn’t really like me going to run alone, I still did it. Going into the gym room on my own was impossible. I didn’t have the motivation to face it alone if I didn’t have my teacher, my handsome personal trainer.

I rushed in the shower, and when I came back, my phone was buzzing with me being tagged on Ig stories or with texts, posts about Vinicius during the press conference. Worry came.

My phone wasn’t used to this many notifications. I was used to receiving more since dating Vini, but not at this point. I was getting more and more intrigued. I wouldn’t have been if it was him but he couldn't because he didn’t have access to his phone at this time of day. We facetimed each other every morning and every night, even though we’ve been separated for just a few days. Even if he was still in Spain. It was our ritual.

He was currently for the week with the Brazilian national team for two games : one in London and the other in Sevilla against Spain.

I was supposed to come in the afternoon before the game, but everything changed the moment I left the shower.

I was quick to open the stories, and my heart broke. There was my man crying, after answering questions about racism and the situation he had to face at almost every game. Seeing him so emotional, breaking down and fighting the tears, but it was too strong, too much pain that needed to explode.

“ Solo quiero jugar al fútbol. Solo quiero jugar. Solo quiero hacerlo todo por mi club, por mi familia.”

It was too strong to carry on his own, all this hate. I never understood it , and never will. How can people be so cruel over others ? To the point of chants and a hung doll over a bridge. Cruelty beyond understatement.

So as soon as I saw that, I finished my suitcase crying for my man and took the first train to Seville, where they were staying during the international break.

On my way, I called Rodrygo, who luckily answered. He was the Brazilian I was the closest to, we were seeing each other a lot and he became my friend too. He confirmed my boyfriend’s current state, and showed me Vini’s room. I wouldn't have made it without him, so I mentally noted to thank him properly once back in Madrid. I was afraid of not being welcomed at the hotel, but they understood the situation.

It has only been a few day’s separation, but I still miss him like crazy, as always. The house felt empty without his laugh, I felt empty as well.

Rodrygo and I chatted briefly in the hotel before his physio appointment and I was finally in front of Vini’s room. I took a deep breath and knocked, worried about how I would find him.

A quiet “ Entra” was heard and I let myself in.

Laid down on his bed with his training kit on, he was scrolling on his phone. Tiredness mixed with sadness readable on his face.

He looked up, wondering about who could be there.

A few seconds passed, he was quick to change into shock, surprise and a small smile. I didn’t give him the time to get up and I knocked him down with all my strength, which was nothing compared to him.

Vinicius buried his face in my neck, his hands around my body. I felt a loving kiss under my ear and he managed, easily, to make me get back. We looked at each other.

“ Amor, what are you doing here ? Are you ok ?”

Silly him, to think about me instead of him.

“ I’m fine. I just wanted to see you, after what happened.

He sighed before guiding me to sit next to him.

I am so sorry bêbe, I said, taking his hand into mine.

It’s not your fault.

I know, but I feel so mad and sad. You don’t deserve that. No one does.

He looked at me, eyes so sad it broke my heart once more.

Maybe I got what I deserved.

Don’t ever say you’re not worth it, because that’s a horrible lie. Look what you've achieved. From Brazil to become one of the greatest football players. You use your visibility to raise your voice about something that should never exist. You have all the right to speak about your feelings, because no one should have suffered the way you do. It’s ok to fight it, because it is unbearable. I’ve never experienced it myself, but seeing you affected is unbearable. I am hurt too, but I can’t fully understand your feelings. If you’re hurt, I’m hurt. If you cry I cry. Despite everything, I believe and have faith in humanity. I’m sure we can change things, life and mentality. All together.

I breathed deeply after what could have been a speech. He was used to my rantings, but not such as this one. And I wasn’t done.

Baby, you are not alone. I’m with you. Always. If it had to be us against the world, then so be it.

He looked at me for a few seconds, smiled with gleamed eyes and simply said

Eu te amo.

Meu amor, te amo mais que tudo.

Seeing him like this, so vulnerable and sad, without his confidence made my heart shatter.

So I did what I thought was best, dropping everything to be with him. Like we always did. Talking about it, even if it was hard , he had to take some of the pain out. It was too much of a burden to carry alone. He thought it but he knew deep down he had me.

“ No one should be racially insulted because you are better than them on and outside the pitch. You are a wonderful person Vinícius José Paixão de Oliveira Júnior. And I'll be more than proud to recall you everyday. “

I took a deep breath, and he let me silent before kissing me fiercely. He held my jaw and kept me close to him, like I’d ever wanted to leave his embrace.

“ I would marry you right now if I could.

My joking baby is back, I said, glad to see his smile on his face again.

I’m not kidding, I will marry you you know Y/N, he said all serious.

I can’t wait then, I said kissing his nose.”

We stayed in each other's arms for a while, our breathing the only thing heard.

“ Where are you staying tonight? You’re not coming home are you ?

No, I took all my stuff and went there as soon as I heard. I didn't think of a hotel to be honest, all I was thinking was you.

He smiled and pecked me.

O seleccionador wouldn't let you there, sadly, but I’m gonna ask the assistant to find you a hotel.

That would be great, thanks love.

Thank you anjo.

Me ? What for ? I’ve done nothing.

On the contrary. Thank you for dropping everything to come to me. for caring for me, for loving, for supporting me no matter what.

Always

Eu te amo.

Eu te amo coração. And you’ll have to score to show the world you are the best footballer in the universe

I’ll do my best amor.

And of course he did it, scored and celebrated to prove all the haters wrong, that he was stronger than them. He didn’t forget his signature heart and kiss on his wrist, where my initials laid all inked, and pointed me in the stands. I couldn't be prouder of my man.

[hum-suffer]

Grihlakshmi

A treat for you all (whoever is interested) on Sankranti! Enjoy yourselves as I did while writing this!

This is a fanfic on my favourite YouTuber and it can be read without context! Better context: Medha and Savitri are OCs and Medha is a medical student while Savitri works in philanthropy. Everyone else has a YouTube channel.

____________________________________________________

Medha is half asleep by the time they reach Ayodhya. She tried to stay awake because everyone else was sleeping in the car and she didn't want Lakshay to feel like some unimportant driver but even the power of tea has some restrictions.

The stereo plays a song that she doesn't recognise but Lakshay is singing along so she doesn't say anything, focuses on the way his fingers tap on the steering wheel in time with the music.

"Sunn," he says softly, aware that all their friends are asleep. He steals a glance at her before going back to the road,"You can sleep."

Medha nods, clenchs her jaw to stay awake and answers him,"I know. I'll sleep in the hotel."

"Vini, you literally can't keep your eyes open. Go to sleep. It's only fifty kilometres more, I'll be fine." He says, lips twisting in the way that shows how dismissive he is trying to be.

Medha rolls her eyes. "Focus on the road."

The next song on the stereo is a Jagjit Singh Ghazal. Medha sings along, playing with the anxiety ring on her hand. She laughs at the deliberate voice cracks in Lakshay's voice and they end the song, harmonising with one another.

"Aap Mumbai bilkul nahi aa sakte hai." She tells him laughingly. "Aise gaano se Tony Kakkar darta hai. Aap vaha chale Gaye toh uski rozi roti chinn jayegi."

Lakshay snorts and swats her shoulder lightly. "Aise dhoke degi tu ab?" He shakes his head dramatically as he begins singing, "Accha sila diya tune mere pyaar ka—"

Medha shakes her head with a laugh.

____________________________________________________

Lakshay raises his eyebrows at her when she grabs his phone to record a small part for the vlog. Her phone is in her purse and she's too lazy to look for it in the darkness.

"So, we're finally in Ayodhya!" She does a little gesture that seems half hearted to even herself. It's 3:23 am. The car slows down as Lakshay parks and she pans the camera towards him and points,"Taaliya ho jaye humare talented driver ke liye dosto."

Lakshay gives her a deadpan look from the driver's end. "Vapas jate wakt tujhe try karna chahiye drive karne ka. Main gaadi mein helmet pehen ke baithunga."

Unable to find a retort, Medha pushes his shoulder. "Haa chal, get out."

"Apna saman khud nikaliyo."

"Arre yaar Lakshay!"

____________________________________________________

He gives her an unimpressed look as he sets her bags down in the room she's going to share with Savitri. Medha gives him an overly sweet smile. "You just can't leave me, even if you want to."

He scoffs,"Want to? Do I look blind to you?"

Medha laughs, ignoring the indignant squawk that leaves Savitri, flops on one of the twin beds, face down. "Go to sleep," she says gently, giving him his phone back after she's paused the recording. "And turn off all your alarms. You deserve all the rest you can get."

Lakshay gives her a satisfied smile, the same easy going, relaxed body language with the face that says,'don't fuss, I've got it and I've got it well.'

Medha rolls her eyes. She's more done with him than the receptionist was with them— checking them in at 3:30 am, checking identifications of six people, four of whom were sleeping on their feet and other two had been arguing back on forth.

She makes a mental note to leave a tip for the receptionist.

Lakshay yawns, stretches along with it almost dramatically and then keeps his eyes closed for a moment longer than necessary. "You go and sleep too. And don't wake up early, it's already an empty day today. Diwali is tomorrow, get your rest today."

Medha nods, eyes drooping on their own. This time, she yawns and blinks at him. "Good night, Lakshay. Ram Ram."

"Ram Ram, Vini." He says awkwardly and shuffles away from the doorstep, almost rushing to the room he's going to share with Harsh, two doors down, across the corridor. Medha doesn't care about his lack of formal manners— he's always been awkward.

Lakshay stops at the door, his hand on the door's handle as he gestures with his head for her to head in her room. Medha doesn't bother suppressing her smile and returns the gesture before she heads inside.

She stays with her ear pressed to the door for a moment longer, hearing the other door open and close through the probably hollow door.

It's only after that, that she kicks off her shoes and removes her rings, falling on the unoccupied bed gracelessly and pulling up the blanket over her face.

____________________________________________________

She wakes up to the sound of Savitri speaking. "I don't even know when I fell asleep, to be honest. I was so tired from the travelling, plus the atmosphere of the car was so silent." She's saying, sounding as if she's reminiscing the car's atmosphere.

Medha pulls the now haphazardly strewn blanket over her head again, kicking her foot to detangle the part of the blanket that had gotten tangled around her whole foot. She grunts and turns on her side, trying to sleep.

"Even I don't know," Harsh says,"I did sleep after you but I don't know when. Probably because of those songs that Medha was playing."

From under the blanket, Medha raises her hand and flips them the bird. Harsh chuckles spitefully,"I'm vlogging!"

She waves her finger more obnoxiously before getting her hand under the blanket again and closing her still heavy eyes.

"Medha," Savitri calls out,"wake up, it's 9 already! The breakfast lounge will close at 10."

Medha groans and buries her face deeper into the pillow that smells of her own perfume because she hated the idea of smelling any generic detergent in her pillow and had sprayed some of her first available perfume on it.

She doesn't have any thought or energy to wake up when she feels a weight over her whole body, knowing it's Savitri being annoying deliberately, Medha whines. "You people slept in the car yesterday, we didn't! Let me sleep, for fuck's sake!"

"Haa toh who told you to be awake?" Akshit says from somewhere in the room,"Lakshay was driving, not you."

Medha throws off Savitri as she rises on her elbow and narrows her eyes at Akshit. "One, I have manners. And two, I wouldn't have had to stay awake and he wouldn't have had to drive for five consecutive hours if SOMEONE didn't fall asleep like a lightweight."

Medha doesn't need to see him to know that Harsh is rolling his eyes. "It was the best sleep I've had in a while and I'm not apologising. Ab tu uthegi ya uthake feku tujhe niche?"

Medha glares in the general sound of his voice and begins to sit up, yawning and blinking away the sleep.

____________________________________________________

They're starting their breakfast when she gets the call.

"Let me talk to Lakshay," her brother says the first thing as soon as she picks the call, without greeting her. Her volume was at full since last night and its obvious everyone at the table heard it.

She lowers the volume instantly and gets up, leaving the table to a safe distance. "Kya hua?"

"Seriously? You don't know?" Bhaiya sounds exasperated and furious at the same time. "Usne kal roast dala tha na vo Dev Tyagi pe?"

Medha is taken aback at his language but hums in affirmation. A glance back at the table confirms that Lakshay is looking over at her with a frown while everyone else is talking in hushed tones, clearly spooked.

"Uss gadhe ki stories dekh private account se." Dhanajay says. "Teri bhabhi mere sath abhi na hoti toh main uss chutiye ke ghar jaa ke uski taange Tod deta."

In a flash, she remembers her school. She remembers the senior boy who had hit her with his bat to bully her. She remembers her brother had chased him down the whole school. She remembers the scene clear as day— the boy sprawled on the floor with her brother stradling him and punching him.

He changed schools next semester.

"Bhai," she says softly, going back to instinct to be quiet (quiet, or they'll hit you, quiet or you'll wake him up, quiet or—). "What's wrong? Take a breather and tell me. I'm listening."

"I'll send the videos to you." He hisses out, his voice sounding hoarse in a way she knows. It gets like this when he's clenching his teeth and the veins in his neck pop. "I need to talk to Lakshay."

"Don't blame him for anything," she says hurriedly. "Usne thodi uss chutiye ko kuch karne ke liye kaha hoga. Samjhiye thoda."

"I'm not blaming him, Medhasvini." He's fully raging if he's calling her by her full name, Medha knows that much. "But if Lakshay doesn't do something about that motherfucker, I will. I'm attached to the two of you and Lakshay's name is attached to that Dev. Uske naam pe bill phat jayega. Usko bol first step khud le le, varna kuch bachega nahi uss chutiye ka mere marne ke baad."

Medha gulps. She's known her brother to be short tempered, and she's also known him to be truthful. Something must be outrageously wrong.

She nods out of habit. "Haa bhai. Vo chhodo, bhabhi aur Amrita kaise hai?"

She knows that he knows she changed the conversation to get his mind off of the thing. But he doesn't protest. He tells her about the newest order that bhabhi's construction firm had, tells her about Amrita's drawing of their house. He tells her how he bought roses for bhabhi and tells her how he took Amrita to learn cycling yesterday.

He doesn't realise it.

"I'm so proud of you," she tells him, her voice heavy. He makes a quizzical sound. "You're being a great brother, husband and father. I'm so, so proud."

"Thank you, Medha," he says warmly. "But this doesn't subtract from the duty I have as your brother. Either you or Lakshay do something or I will."

She takes a deep breath, looks back at the way Rachit is looking at her with an almost knowing look.

____________________________________________________

"Kya ho gaya bade Bhai ko?" Lakshay asks when she's getting seated back. The conversation stops flowing and Medha looks down at the phone in Harsh's hand pointedly.

It's only after the camera has stopped recording that she speaks. "Apparently Dev Tyagi posted a story about me. Kal Rachit pe tha, Aaj mere pe hai. Bhaiya told me to check out the stories he posted. Kuch action karna padega meko Varna bhaiya will fuck him up."

The air goes from jovial to tense. Samrat Bhai leans forward. "Kya bola vo?"

Medha purses her lips as she starts viewing the stories her brother has sent her, pointed out.

She doesn't cover her flinch well as he calls her a whore. He says she's Lakshay's girlfriend and is cheating on Lakshay with him. He says other things that make bile rise up in her throat. Something about using her is also peppered there.

Her brother's angry messages follow the stories and she tells him she'll take care of it.

She doesn't know how, but she will.

She flinches back hard when Akshit tries to touch her shoulder. He looks at her with sympathy in his eyes and she loathes it. Akshit gives a half assed grin,"Don't worry, we'll kick his ass."

Lakshay, who has Medha's phone in his hands hasn't spoken. She looks at him in suspicion and it only takes a second but he's off of his seat, the spoon falling from his hand and making a clattering noise in the plate of poha.

Medha instantly goes after him.

He's typing something on his phone, her phone secured in his shirt's pocket. He's muttering to himself,"Bhadwa sala, kya hai iss ko behenchod—"

"Chaudhry Sahab, shaanti!" She grabs his elbow to stop him from literally running off. He narrows his eyes at her. "Calm down, Lakshay. I'll deal with him, do not ruin your YouTube over these petty words."

"Petty?" He scoffs. "Vini, I call you my Grihlakshmi. These insults are a different deal, agar vo tu karke bhi tujhe bolta hai toh mere liye vo vyajbi Karan hai uski faad Dene ka."

Warmth unlike anything fills her. She suppresses the smile and pulls Lakshay closer. "I know. And thank you for that. But this is just a naive boy with little to no sense. A legal notice and he'll go back to the hell he crawled from."

Lakshay shakes his head. "Your exams will come up next month. I don't want you distracted. Give me three days, isko toh main muh kholne layak nahi rakhunga."

"Nothing illegal." She half jokes, she knows just what contacts Lakshay has and what they can do. She's one of said contacts and so is her brother. Her brother and Lakshay together could ruin everything they've built brick by brick— just because some upstart said something about her.

Lakshay nods. "Nothing illegal. But I promise you this; agar isne tujhe official apology nahi di, toh ya toh uska career bandh, ya vo jail me bandh."

She doesn't know how else to show her appreciation and squeezes his elbow lightly, giving him a smile.

[new-berry]

what do u think the following players best pairs are:

Cole palmer

Jude Bellingham

Bukayo Saka

Jamal Musiala

Pedri

Xavi Simmons

Phil Foden

Joe Willock

Oh man, a deep dive into lunacy is ahead. Buckle up! I thought I would challenge myself (I am not avoiding glitter and 💔 YOU are avoiding glitter and 💔 ) and imagine these as AU’s

Phil Foden. KDB. Friends…. Picture the AU. We need KBD as the rich successful businessman who was used as a bank card by his last “partner” (doesn’t deserve the word) who was sleeping around and making fun of Kevin’s devotion.

He meets Phil I don’t know trying to pick pocket him? steal his tires? and he’s so fed up and exhausted and just… lonely (he knew okay? He knew the ex was a dirtbag but he hates coming home to an empty house. He just walks around now listening to echos).

So he asks Phil what he wants (Phil is a step up from an urchin here. Maybe he has a skateboard? He still has the terrible haircut) and Phil is like “dinner.” There is an open place so Kevin is like fuck it and buys him dinner.

There are all the expected tropes of two people from very different backgrounds being the best thing that happened to either of them.

Joe Willock clearly, clearly, he and Bukayo Saka meet at a religious high school. As I was writing this perhaps they are first year teachers. The absolute rigid control they have both operated under all their lives.

At first they are kind of shoved together. The “young men” the newbies. Then it’s friendship because they are are of floundering around together. Young Christian Men’s Academy. When none of the hard ass teachers are around they have a joke based on the YMCA song.

Cole Palmer - can I ever get past Cole and Levi? Love the idea of him as a slightly privileged kid going to uni (masters) in London. Meet at this Caribbean place that Levi’s grandma (aunty?) owns. Many misunderstandings. Levi is at Uni as well! Levi is a business major. Cole in something science. (Someone else has to write the science.)

Jude Bellingham model AU! He’s tall okay? Trent and Iris are there, Eduardo is the “urban look” Vini is a photographer. Kylian is a menswear designer. It comes to a head at Paris fashion week when Kylian’s deeply closeted lover (Hakimi) is violent.

Pedri sells party pills in nightclubs.

[9kylian]

I hope Kylian transfers ofc I’m just scared cause I now the racism would be worse. Like France isn’t shit too, but I feel like as racist as the French are they prob hold back a little cause without Kylian they’d be fucked. And even then they only like him when it’s convenient for them. I believe RM is the best option though. But when he finally leaves France, other countries will not hold back as much😕. ITS SO GROSS ugh Like idk why they hate him so much cause he’s a black man? Jealousy. It’s so gross sometimes I feel like Futbol fans don’t even deserve to see any poc players play. I mean look how RM treated Vini Jr. ?? They didn’t give two shits. Like the league is racist it’s expected but the fans act like they’re on the board of the KKK. And they’re not afraid to hide it, that’s the crazy part. I hate white people!

Fans forget that things aren’t any different in Premier League either so they want him to play there.

I think facing racism while playing for your nt is the hardest. He’s trying to overcome this situation with the support of his family and I feel like Kylian doesn’t have a loyal fanbase except post-wc lusting girls so all he has is his family and friends.

The federation should take the first step tbh. FIFA supports Vini ig? But it’s never enough. Racism has become the nature of football and it’s crazy. They simply don’t care.

[k1ll3r-k4rg0]

All the Angels Say You Are All to Blame Intro Post

hmmmm maybe i should track book progress on here! i feel really bad and discouraged to write it but maybe if i had some peeps interested in seeing what i write i'd feel better!

warning!!! dead dove do not eat story!! please read these warnings before getting invested in this! this story will be a very mature rating, 18+ Only. this post will Not deal with any of the following but the subject matter and the story itself will.

dead dove do not eat, noncon, dubcon, fictional serial killing, violence, murder, death, child abuse, suicide mention, school violence mentions, child sexual abuse, animal death, animal violence, gun violence. if you are uncomfortable with ANY of these things, do not interact with these posts! This will all be written in an exploratory non romanticized light.

the tag i will be using will be #all the angels say you are all to blame. i may post writing samples, and i may discuss plot/character shit. though i may not even touch on some of the above warnings, i want to put these warnings upfront so you know what type of story this is.

it'll be about vini and quinn, these two childhood best friends who grew up living through a lot of shit but who were inseparable. one of them (quinn) is a child of death, the other (vini) his guardian angel who gave up his immortality to protect and be with him. after a long separation, they reunite when the angel quits his job by assassinating his manager. the son of death joins him in their first spree kill together, after which they travel across the country, bonding, reminiscing on their childhood, and trying to figure out their rocky relationship. they both love each other so much they don't even fucking realize it coz they're both too damn homophobic, even though they'll both die if they're separated again.

it'll be very catholic guilt, aromantic bonding, gay as fuck, and ! sus as shit! it's gonna' be a crime thriller drama, filled with longing and yearning and stupid guys and a heavy amount too little too late. a deep exploration of how childhood fucks you up, how god fucks you up, how the world fucks you up, how sometimes the only thing you have to keep going is your other half, even if you think you don't deserve him. very mcr vibes, very tarantino / cohen brothers, very desert, roadtrip, car chases, y2k, guns, serial killing, and yearning and gay stupidity. watch the hardest most violent spree killers be both really nasty to each other but also only soften completely around each other as they fuck the police up and go on living their very gay violent lives.

give follow if you're interested! i'm gonna' try n keep track/update on here

credit: image on the left is by @kittyteefies (vini is his character) and image on the right is my own

[holdmyhopeinyourhands]

I feel like he's been struggling for months. He hasn't looked happy. What hurts is that he's saying he can't take the years of horrendous abuse anymore and instead of being sympathetic people are making fun of him, calling him weak, a coward, that he just wants to party. His mental health is ignored by all people who like to post about taking care of one's mental health. Then some Brazilian commentators were calling on him to stop complaining and play better, it's no wonder why he's depressed.

Every time I read the shit that's said about Neymar it makes my blood boil and makes me feel sick to my stomach. The amount of abuse he's faced throughout the years is traumatizing to read about let alone experience and I worry about him a lot.

For someone like Neymar who loves playing football, to see his passion reduced to this shell of what it used to be is concerning. He deserves better. The media and these toxic football fans have made it a sport to insult and humiliate him and its disgusting. Especially when they're out here insisting that toxic masculinity is bad but then they see Neymar crying after a big loss and they go right on bullying him. Then they turn around and pretend to care about mental health only to gleefully abuse him when he talks about his mental health struggles.

Football fans disgust me and sometimes I wish Neymar could just leave it all behind and stay with his wonderful son and Carol and Vini and be happy family away from this toxic wasteland known as the footballing community but I also know football makes him happy. And him playing football makes millions of us happy too so for whatever it's worth, I pray he gets his spark back and I pray that his friends and family who love him so so much keep building him back up every time the world tears him down. Because Neymar is a wonderful football player and all I wish for him is happiness.

[ryckcnii]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @lcial  !!! bestie, sis, wife – i dunno, you practically mean the world to me. it’s crazy that we grew up writing together, irl or online or via e-mail or what have you. vini, you were the first person to ever reach out and coach me through my poor english when were munchkins, and you were and still are my best friend, and soul sister. you’ve always made me smile, and i genuinelly adore the little puns you throw in, the jokes you crack, your rants and your info dumps in our chats and calls. you’re the smartest, toughest cookie i know, and the sweetest gremlin ever. your advice has helped me through so many things, so thank you for lending an ear. You don’t know how much i love it when i make you laugh, and to hear you talking about how great my sense of humour is. self-flattering, i know, this post is supposed to be about you – and it is! i just want to say that i’ve never felt more comfortable with anyone else, and maybe it’s because we’ve known each other for so long, or maybe because you know how to get people to be more comfortable around you without trying too much.

your writing is beautiful. i mean it. i could compare it with my favourite authors of all time, and say, with total confidence, that you beat them all. you’d have bradbury crying, darling, yor just that good. your way with words is fascinating, and you’re honestly one of the most eloquent writers i’ve ever met, with a knack for imagery and capturing and fleshing out characters so well. and doing that in multiple languages ??? literal queen! i’ve always looked up to you, to be very honest.

i’ve written across multiple fandoms, and i’ll forever be partial to your portrayal of all of your muses. it’s always been show-stopping and brilliant, just like you.

happy birthday once again to the don. i hope the year ahead has nothing but the best to offer to you!!! you deserve the stars, the moon, the sun and all of life’s silliest mysteries ( ik how much you’d love that, miss not-secretly-yuuko-ichihara ).

love you 5ever, nita

[nose-bandaid]

bloom ✿ pt.2 — honeysuckles

Kino (Hyunggu) x (female) Reader | flower shop AU

february 8th honeysuckles — pure happiness, sweetness, affection, flames of love

introduction | part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | epilogue

=====

When Hyunggu said you guys would see each other soon, you didn’t think it would be two days after his last visit. It was just you managing the store once again, but he had come at an earlier time today, so only a few people occupied the store. You greeted him from behind the register with a wave.

“Hey! What brings you here so soon? Looking for more flowers already?”

He looked around nervously and gave you a sheepish look before speaking in a hushed tone. “You see the thing is, I kind of killed the flowers yesterday, so I need new ones.”

“You killed them already?” You echoed loudly, bewildered at how he could manage to pull that off so quickly. The couple nearby whipped their heads your way when you accidentally raised your voice, and Hyunggu gave you a pleading look to keep quiet. It was kind of cute, the way he was so embarrassed about his small mishap.

“I really don’t know how that happened!” He ran his hand through his hair frantically as he tried to defend himself. “I tried so hard to take care of them.” 

“Ok first,” You put your hand out in an attempt to calm him. “Did you put them in a vase with water?”

“Yes, the moment I got home, I put them in a glass and then filled it with... water...” His voice trailed off and he stared at the counter blankly. “I forgot the water...”

You burst out in a small fit of laughter at that, unable to resist his cute realization. “Well then that’s probably why they died, silly. I unfortunately can’t really help you with that... But I can help you find some more flowers if that’s what you want. Unless you’re just back for some more daisies?”

“Hmm... not this time, I was wondering if you could maybe suggest something for me?”

Countless ideas ran through your mind as you tried to decide on which flowers you wanted to choose. Hyunggu seemed like someone who would truly appreciate your decision (unlike some other customers who would toss your suggestions aside), and deserved something unique, yet simple to match his pleasant personality. Daisies, admittedly, suited him quite well already, but there had to be another flower that would catch his attention too. 

After a few moments of thinking, you led him to a section of the store and pointed out some honeysuckles. Only a couple stalks of the viny plant sat in the jar but their sweet fragrance didn’t fail to fill the air.

“How about some honeysuckles? I know it’s a pretty small batch, but at least that means it might be easier to take care of.”

“Honeysuckles, huh? Are they your favourite?” He asked, a genuine sparkle in his eyes and you shifted from side to side under his gaze. This boy was just too sweet for your own good.

“Not necessarily, they’re up there on the list, but I just thought they suited you.”

“Is that so? I’ll take them then, I trust you.” He grabbed the jar without hesitation and made his way to the cash.

You were a bit taken aback by how quickly he agreed to your suggestion, but felt delighted nonetheless. Hyunggu’s charming personality was a constant reminder of just how much you should treasure him as a whole. As you scanned the flowers, he spoke up again.

“All these flowers have some sort of meaning, right? I’ve been reading up on them recently, but I haven’t gotten to studying honeysuckles yet. Would you happen to know what they represent?”

“Yeah! They symbolize pure happiness and sweetness which made me think fo you.” You paused. “They also represent affection, and, er... at some points the flames of love and things like that.” You couldn’t stop your tone from wavering in awkwardness at that last part and worried that he would end up interpreting your choice the wrong way. You wouldn’t deny that you were feeling something for him, however you still weren’t quite sure where those feelings for him stood. But he just nodded at your words, obviously making a note of the flower’s meaning in his head and you tried to laugh it off. 

“Cool! Thank you for thinking so highly of me, y/n.”

“It’s just the truth,” You responded, sliding the jar back to him. “Oh! I almost forgot.”

You grabbed the keychain hanging from the board and presented it to Hyunggu. “Is this yours? It was on the floor near the bucket that day and it looked like the one you had on your bag.”

He gasped at the sight of the keychain and gently took it from you. “Oh my god that is my keychain, I thought I dropped it at a friends house. Thank you so much.”

“No problem, I’m glad I’m at least able to help you back in some way. Also —daisies, how cute.” You smirked and he gave you a smile.

“Then I guess we can consider us even. Have a good day y/n! I’ll make sure to actually give these flowers some water this time.”

“You better! Those poor flowers deserve to live.” You shouted as he walked off. 

“See you again soon, Hyunggu.” You whispered that last part to the quiet store and touched your warm cheeks in a daze. 

Were you actually falling for this flowery boy?

[leet911]

Flowers in the Fall

Fandom: Critical Role Pairing: Keyleth/Yasha Word Count: 1988 Warnings: Spoilers, nothing else Description: A sequel to Flowers from the Tempest the only Keyleth/Yasha fic I know of (also written by me incidentally).

---

Yasha knows that Keyleth cheats the seasons, just a little bit. Because even though it is well into autumn, there are still flowers blooming in this field. The leaves have changed, and the northern winds already carry the promise of winter, but summer blossoms are what they associate with their connection, so Keyleth’s magic pushes back against the inevitable tide of the seasons. Summer is when they became friends, bared their grief to each other, and let the storms wash it away.

With a wave from the druid, the tree above them sprouts a few more leaves and a pure white flower, as fresh as the first day of spring.  It won’t last of course, Yasha knows this, but she likes the flowers.  And Keyleth is here, right next to her, leaning against the same tree trunk, crafting plants all around, while Yasha strums scales absently on her harp.

Despite the rushing winds, it is not cold.  Yasha thinks that’s also because of Keyleth, but she hasn’t yet found the right words to ask.  This is Xhorhas after all, and there is no way it’s this warm this late in the year.  And Yasha isn’t even sure what they are to each other.  She only knows that Keyleth visits often nowadays, that they sit in this meadow (their meadow), and that Keyleth doesn’t hide inside a tiger anymore.  Sometimes Yasha plays music, and sometimes Keyleth weaves powerful magic; but mostly they sit and talk about stupid things.  They talk about flowers and friends, and fate and fighting, and days gone by and dreams about forever.

It’s only been a few weeks, and they’ve spoken – truly spoken – only a handful of times.  And they’ve never seen each other anywhere besides here, in this field.  And Yasha isn't sure if she's allowed to ask, but she does anyway.  “Where do you go when you leave this place?"

Because this is Yasha’s spot, this little patch of Xhorhas that Keyleth has made beautiful.  This was Yasha’s spot even before Keyleth.  But she wonders if Keyleth does this for herself too, if she lets herself have beauty and wonder on her own sometimes.

The druid stands, holds out her hand.  "Come with me."  She recites the words to a spell, her eyes flare with power, and the tree before them splits open like a tunnel.

Yasha looks up at the redhead, takes the outstretched hand.

They step through, Yasha first and Keyleth following close behind.  It’s early morning on the other side, the rising sun framing a collection of huts and houses nearby.  The air feels thin, like they are up in the mountains.  There is movement in the village, but in this clearing there is only an empty fire pit and no one else around.

“This is Zephrah, my birthplace,” Keyleth says, gesturing towards the village.  “And this is the Raven Tree.”  She points behind them.

There is a tree where they emerged, nearly empty of leaves, with a large raven perched in it.  As Yasha watches, another raven arrives, then another, and another, until it is an entire flock of birds gawking at them.  There are so many ravens Yasha is afraid the branches will break and the tree will collapse.

The ravens are quiet, only the rustle of wings and their heads turning as they eye the two women.  Yasha tenses, nervous, because she doesn't understand how there can be so many birds here, even if this is called the Raven Tree. Keyleth holds her hand tight though, and Keyleth doesn't seem concerned, even if there are tears streaming down her face.

As one, the ravens shriek, a deafening cry that shatters the dawn. Then they flee in a giant beating of wings, scattering in all directions, until there is only a single raven left.  The largest raven, the first one that Yasha saw, remains looking at Keyleth, questioning.  Yasha doesn't understand, but she's not a druid, and she knows Keyleth has a connection with animals.  They stand side by side in the morning light, and Yasha feels like she’s being judged; the two of them holding hands in front of the Raven Tree.  The large bird flutters to a lower branch, caws twice.  Keyleth seems to be answering the raven's gaze with a teary one of her own.  

The antlers bob up and down as Keyleth nods, and Yasha can almost swear she sees the raven nod back.  Then the bird opens its wings and flies off into the rising sun.

Keyleth is trembling, palms sweaty where her hand touches Yasha's.

"What just happened?" The aasimar asks.

“I lost someone too, a long time ago.”

And Yasha thinks she understands that, the guilt and uncertainty and am I even allowed to do this?  Because that felt almost like asking for permission.  She doesn't know Keyleth's story, not fully, but her own heart screams just as loud sometimes when she looks at her scrapbook full of flowers. Neither of them has a reason to feel guilty about this, not for real, but emotions don’t always make sense.  Yasha’s grief is still tied up with memories of impotence and inadequacy.

Keyleth's loss seems like it was longer ago.  But also much more powerful, linked to the magic of this place, and this tree, and maybe even the ravens.  Keyleth has never mentioned it before.  

And Yasha isn’t one to pry, so they are silent for a long moment before Keyleth continues.  "Vax was a champion of the Raven Queen.  He traded his soul for this world."

Yasha doesn’t know exactly what that means, but she does know anguish and sorrow and regret, and that those things do fade, that having friends helps, and maybe Keyleth is the one that showed her they’re allowed to move on, even if it doesn’t feel that way.

So Yasha puts her arms around Keyleth, wraps the druid in a hug, and holds the Voice of the Tempest close.

When Keyleth composes herself a few minutes later, she draws up to her full height, and Yasha can see she deserves to be leader among her people.  Keyleth is powerful, vulnerable, empathetic.  She is strong and beautiful and everything Yasha wishes she could be.

They don’t go into the village that day, because Yasha is far too nervous to meet anyone.  Jumping across Exandria also changed the time of day.  It is evening in Xhorhas, but morning here.  Seeing the sun climb the sky again makes Yasha feel like they were up all night.  And Keyleth has a house in the village of course, but she also has lots of hideouts in the mountainside, lots of private spots that are hers alone.  She takes Yasha to one of them, an isolated copse of trees overlooking a cliff.  Beneath them, the valley is a panorama of autumn colours, bursts of red and gold punctuated with swaths of evergreens.

Keyleth fits right into the scene, her mantle blending with the colours below.  She looks regal to Yasha, standing atop the cliff with her staff and circlet, surveying the mountain like some benevolent protector.  This is how Yasha thinks of her, some mystical spirit of nature, attuned to the land.  Maybe that's why Keyleth is different in Xhorhas, away from this place.  In their little field, it's just them, and their blooms.  Here, she still has the weight of responsibility nearby.

She is pensive for a moment, and her profile shows her resolve.  Then she turns to Yasha and her face softens.  When she speaks, it is almost shy.  "Do you want to stay for a bit? Or I could send you back home if you want."

This seems meaningful to Yasha, portentous.  She knows why Keyleth is hesitant.  They’ve never done this before.  And it’s not nighttime, but this feels like she's being asked to spend the night.

They never talk about spending time together, it's just something they do.  They don't arrange to meet, they just show up at the same place all the time, and the day passes.  They don't make plans, they don't do activities or dates.  They talk, and bask in each other's company.  Yasha never asks for more. She's not sure she's supposed to.  And the power is in Keyleth's hands anyway.  Keyleth is the one who comes and goes as she pleases.

So this is new.  This is not neutral ground.  This is Keyleth's homeland.

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Yes," with a dip of her staff the trees fold out around them, cocooning them in this spot and shutting out the world beyond the view of the valley below.

Keyleth sits, shifts her mantle so that they are touching arms, skin to skin.  Yasha shivers, not from the cold.  She's touched Minxie so many times, nuzzled the white fur, but that didn't seem like it was Keyleth then.  This is warm skin against her, a thin smooth arm beside her sturdier one.  Yasha knows their strength is different.  She knows the druid’s humanoid body is not indicative of her true power.

Without words, they lean against each other for a long time, breathing quietly, until Keyleth turns and kisses Yasha on the temple.  Yasha holds her breath, waits for Keyleth to take the next step, but none comes.  Keyleth is always the one with the initiative, always careful not to overstep boundaries.  Except that first time.  Yasha wonders exactly what happened in Keyleth’s past.

So Yasha takes the leap instead, holds Keyleth's chin in place so they can kiss properly.  When their lips touch, Keyleth melts against her and the kisses don't stop.  Maybe they both need this.

They break apart many minutes later gasping for breath.  Yasha thinks she can smell their excitement in this grove.  Keyleth looks away, embarrassed. 

She conjures a gentle breeze, to cool them off and clear the air.  To further distract them, Keyleth fashions a harp out of magic, crafted from wood and animal hair, a gnarled viny affair with little flowers adorning it.

"Can you play something? Anything?"

Yasha understands wanting company but not wanting to talk, looking to fill the silence.  She thought Keyleth knew they were past that.  That it's fine to sit in silence and just be together, to feel and process your own experience without holding back, without being alone.

Yasha understands, but she plays for Keyleth anyway.  So she plays something faster, with energy, and hopefully uplifting.  Maybe this is more her usual fare, but not to Keyleth.  These aren't the haunting melancholic melodies Keyleth has heard before.  This also isn't Yasha’s harp, but she pushes through the unfamiliarity.  If it's less than stellar, Keyleth doesn't show it, she just drapes herself around Yasha and lets the music carry her.

When the song ends, Keyleth smiles into Yasha's shoulder. "That was really nice."

"My friends used to joke about starting a metal band where I could play the rock harp.  Yasha and the Orphanmakers, we were going to call it."

Keyleth laughs at that, the image of Yasha jumping around on a stage, harp in hand, hair flailing around wildly as loud music echoes beneath the moonlight.  She can picture it in her mind.  She glances at Yasha, catches her eye and the end of a smirk.

“I would love to see Yasha and the Orphanmakers perform.”  Keyleth wraps her mantle around them like a blanket, lets out a long sigh.  She feels happy here, content in a way she hasn't felt in quite some time.  Keyleth looks skyward, and there is not a single raven nearby.  And she strains to hear their caws, but there are none of those either.

Yasha too, looks for the storm clouds that always follow her, but the sky is blissfully clear today.  There is only the sun, shining down on them and the canopy of colours below.  This is not the doing of Keyleth’s magic.

This is just Keyleth.

[victubia]

I have decided to end the Victubia comic [Please read <3]

I have decided to end the Victubia comic. Please let me explain why.

As some of you know (those of you who has been a part of this from the start), Victubia started as a simple wallpaper project for some of the YouTubers that I loved at the time.

I was unemployed for long periods of time, and depression and anxiety hung all over me. There were times when I didn’t want to get out of bed because I had no good reason to do so. My confidence in myself and my abilities was at rock bottom… but then I started watching youtube.

And I suddenly had a small (but fun) reason to get up and do something. It gave a reason to laugh and smile. Victubia mixed a lot of things I liked at the time, and eventually, I came up with a story set in this universe, staring the YouTubers.

Victubia started as a motion comic, but when I realized it took me way too long to create each chapter, I made the decision to make Victubia into a regular comic.

The Victubia comic has been going on for almost 3 years. And it has been 3 amazing years!!

Before I continue, I wanna thank all of you who’s been part of this journey!! It’s literally meant the world to me, and it gave me back some self-worth and creativity when I hardly felt anything.

So why am I ending it? Well, there’s a lot of reasons, and in a way… I’m not ending the story here. Let me explain.

The last year or so I’ve had thoughts about ending the comic. It came sneaking up on me, but I kept pushing it back down. I didn’t wanna accept the fact that I wasn’t as happy drawing the comic anymore. And more than anything I didn’t want to disappoint the fans and readers of the comic!

You guys have ALWAYS been the reason I kept going! This project started because of the YouTubers, as a thank you for brightening my days, but it continued because of you who read the comic and was invested in the world!

In an attempt to make the comic a bit more fun for me to draw, I tried to work in more original characters (Alma, Edrea Stern, Ryder, Porter etc), because I love making original characters and I felt that they fleshed out the story in a lot of good ways. But I quickly noticed that the interest for original characters in this story (unless it’s a villain) is pretty small and that most people only cared for the YouTubers.

Which OF COURSE isn’t strange at all! This comic is about YouTubers after all! But I couldn’t deny that there became a rift between what I wanted to do with the comic, and what my readers wanted to read.

While I still had a lot of fun with the comic, I felt less and less joy working on this project, which I guess also got reflected in the fandom, because there were fewer and fewer people interested in Victubia. Less fanart and fics, and fewer people going to my art streams or talking in the discord. And you know, that’s okay <3 As someone who’s been in a lot of different fandoms for the last 15 years, I know that fandoms come and go. Interest fade and you move on to something else. I know that’s the reality of it, but let me tell you, it was a bit difficult to come to terms with this when it’s your own fandom, haha! But I HAVE come to terms with it, and the bitter feeling I used to feel is mostly gone.

Another reason is that drawing comics inspired by real people is never a good idea. Part of me knew that going into this project, but I was just too naive and too ignorant to accept it. People change. Relationships and friendships change. And that will always be a difficult thing to adapt to when making a comic about real people. And as much as I still love a lot of YouTubers, I don’t always agree with them (as is the case for most people), but I don’t always wanna feel that I endorse them. Even if I state my own opinions, actions speak louder than words, and the fact that I make a fan comic speaks volumes in a way I don’t want it to. Victubia was always supposed to be a fun and silly fan project, but because the characters are inspired by real people, it’s bound to get difficult at times. And that made the project become filled with anxiety at times, and it really wasn’t good for my mental health. I felt almost trapped in this project at times.

I also don’t want to be known as the woman “who only draws YouTubers”. Which leads me to my next reason to stop the comic;

I want to do more things.

Victubia takes up a lot of my time most days when I’m not working on my part-time job as a preschool teacher or work with freelance jobs, leaving me with almost no free time.

And as a creative, it really brings you down after a while.

I almost never draw anything for myself anymore, not even sketches. I have so many things I want to study! I have so many amazing original things I want to draw, and also fan art. And I have a lot of other projects I wish to make a reality.

I wish to take more freelance jobs and commissions! I want to make my own children's book series! I have an original comic project that I’m dying to spend more time on!

But time is limited.

Looking over my story notes I’ve slowly realized that the Victubia comic would take YEARS to complete, and that’s just too much for me to spend on a fan comic.

“Are we never gonna find out what happened in the story?”

I don't wanna leave you guys hanging, and despite the fact that the comic is ending, I’m still gonna share the complete story with you guys, as I’ve decided to post the rest of the Victubia comic story in script format.

Doing story scripts takes MUCH less time for me to write (compared to drawing the comic), and you guys will still get the whole story. It’s still a story I wish to tell.

I’m going over and writing it as we speak, and it will be released in parts. How many I can’t say just yet.

“So what happens to the Patreon?”

I will still keep my Patreon, but it will transition into a Patreon for most of my creative work.

The Victubia scripts will still be posted on Patreon first before they reach the rest of the public. And I still have a few things I want to post (like a Late Night Bar map).

But eventually, I want to fill the Patreon with original art and fanart, studies, blog posts and sketch requests, to name a few. I will explain more when the time comes.

If you are signed up to my patreon for Victubia only, I totally understand if you want to cancel your subscription. I won’t hold it against you! <3

I will, of course, be eternally happy if you stick around and see the changes that will happen <3

“So is the Victubia Party over now??”

Not for me at least! XD

Honestly, I’m not ready to give up this universe, because I still love this world and all the characters that have been made for it. My own and others and I don’t see a reason to end Victubia as a whole because the comic ended.

The world of Victubia is bigger than the comic, and if people still wanna visit it, it’s always open! <3

I will still create Victubia related work even after the comic script is done, but it will be work I truly want to work with <3

Lastly, I wanna thank so many people! I want to thank all the fantastic people who've been in the fandom for so long! Some of you joined from the very start and made this community so warm, creative and welcoming! All of you who created your own characters and stories and art inside this universe! You are also the reason I kept going with this project in the first place, and without your love and enthusiasm for this project, it would have stopped as a “wallpaper project”.

I want to thank all my lovely, amazing and wonderful Patrons, new and old, who helped make a dream come true and let me work on a project that is so dear to my heart!! Without you, Victubia would have ended a long time ago! <3

Despite the ups and downs, I am SO PROUD of the fact that this project has managed to inspire so many people to draw and write and just be creative in general! <3 It’s so beautiful! I’m also so damn proud that this community brought together so many people, and that people found friends for life, and even love! Many years into the future I hope people can think back on this project and the community with joy. <3

I wanna give a warm and grateful thanks to Vini and Felix for putting so much work into the Victubia Wiki! <3 Thank you for all the time, energy and passion!

I wanna thank all the YouTubers who appreciated this project! You are forever Victubia royalty! <3

Finally, I wanna thank my AMAZING MODS! Old and current!

Who has supported me through it all, and who gave so much of their time and energy to this project! I can never thank you guys enough! You are truly amazing people, and I’m so thankful that you wanted to be a part of this for so long. Asa, Mishy, Jo, Raz, Panda, and Arc... I’m so grateful I can call you guys friends! <3

The last final and very special thanks is to Raz, who not only was my biggest supporter from the start but who became someone so dear to me, someone, that I want to spend the rest of my life together with! <3 Raz, you’ve given so much to the Victubia world that I consider it yours too! So many wonderful stories and characters that always inspired me to create more! Your love and support brought me out of my worst moments and kept me going even when I didn’t think I could. I love you so much and I’m so glad this project brought us together! <3

If you read until the end, you deserve a medal! XD Thank you so much for your time!

If you have any questions or opinions you can leave them in the ask box on Tumblr or send me a message on discord. I will try to answer as many as I can <3

Be on the lookout for the Victubia scripts, and thank you once again for making this something truly special <3

I love you all!

[executionair]

Hey there! If you’re still doing self love readings, would it be okay if I asked for one? My initials are PM and I’m wondering on what I can do to better care for myself so I can start learning how to live a better life (I think? I’m not sure if I worded that right lmao), but I think I deserve to love myself because I want to help and care for my friends and others who need it, and give what I can spare to help them out as much as I can. Thank you so much for offering these readings!!

Self-love Tarot Reading

Something to like about yourself -> Wow I can see that you always try to see the brighter side of things and this behaviour of yours can really impact not only other people but the whole environment as well. I believe that you'd do wonders if you had a family of your own (but if you don't want one, that's okay). You're one of the best people to have around, I believe you're such a great friend. To be that positive about life is something to be very proud of.

How you can be kinder to yourself -> I can see that you're so positive that you forget (or avoid) some "negative" aspects of yourself. There's a shadow part of yourself that needs to be explored in order for you to grow and love yourself. We're not all about happiness, positiveness and kindness. There are shadows inside of all of us and it's okay. It's not a bad thing. In fact, there are bad things in our "good part" and there are good things in our "bad part". Once you accept them, you'll find yourself maturing so much. To explore these shadows will also help you with healing some things that you need to heal. You can't avoid this part of yourself forever. It's who you are. I can also see that you don't allow yourself to feel anything other than happiness. That's not the way to go, my friend. You're not here to be happy, you're here just to be, you know? Allow yourself to feel and to be.

Feel free to leave me a feedback, it helps me grow as a tarot reader.

If you like getting readings from me, please consider supporting what I do (Tip Jar).

Much love,

Vini.

Rules for a self-love reading

Tarot giveaway

[leerofthevinegaroons-a]

Guitars and Violins pt 3

@goodolerebelsoldier @restoringthelost

Light, angry footsteps could be heard marching down to the hall towards the basement, followed by several cautioning and discouraging voices from the nearby museum residents. But their warnings fell on deaf ears as the young woman made her way to the door and pushed it open.

“Mister Baribus Thatch!” she called down the stairwell, her tone stern and confrontational. “Mister Baribus Thatch, are you here?"

There was a shuffling in the darkness and she could smell the faint odor of sea rot drifting up from below.

“Who calls me?” came the raspy response, barely a hiss upon a breeze.

Katherine felt a shiver run up her spine. ‘That must be him,’ she thought to herself and pursed her lips. If she hadn’t known better she might’ve thought it had been a ghost or some other such apparition. But she did know better and was right steamed at the creature’s spooky antics.

“Katherine Shepherds,” she replied firmly, “and I’d like to have a word with you.”

There was a moment of silence before she heard the heavy clack-clack of the creature’s footsteps. Slowly they made their way around the crates, through the darkness of the basement, until they finally reached the stairs. Katherine stifled a gasp of surprise as the 6 foot tall sea monster stepped into view, his shelled helm glinting under the dim stairwell light while his tattered cloak swayed with every step. Between the barnacles and crust of dried sea salt on his clothes, this “Baribus Thatch” appeared to be every whit the ‘demon sailor’ Gray described him as.

‘Huh. The one time he’s not telling tall tales,’ she thought and blinked when the monster did the most unexpected thing. He bowed. Not just the regular pseudo-bow she saw so often, but a full and proper from-the-waist-down bow.

“Miss Shepherds,” he croaked, straightening up again.

“Mister Thatch, I presume?” Katherine asked, folding firmly across her chest despite her surprise.

“Yes,” he replied, his voice no more than a croaking rasp.

“I’ve been informed that you gave one of my patience a right good scare a few nights ago and I’d like you to make amends with him.”

There was a low growl as Baribus straightened indignantly. “Whatever fright Gray received was purely his own doing,” he rasped defensively. “I cannot be blamed for his insecurities."

“No, but you can be blamed for enflaming them!” Katherine snapped back. Realizing she was losing her temper, the young woman took a deep breath and glared up at Baribus' boney helm. “Mr. Groves depicts you as a fine gentleman in bad straits,” she remarked, trying to restrain her temper as she earned a barking laugh from the former sailor.

“Bad straits? Well if that’s not the vastest understatement I’ve ever—“

“I wasn’t finished,” Katherine interrupted, her expression hardening. She watched Baribus straighten, clearly taken a-back, before continuing. “You both have lost a good deal more than anyone in this here building. You’re the only two who could hope to understand what the other is goin’ through, but instead of understanding each other, you’re too busy trading spooks and insults!”

“You speak as if Grey and I are alone in this,” he growled again, leaning forward so that she could see his golden irises peering out at her.

“Oh, I know you’re not,” Katherine retorted hotly. "You have Mister Groves and Hopkins has me. But you and I both know there’s no true way for me or Mr. Groves to ever understand what you two are going through. Because when it comes down to it, Hopkins has lost as much as you have, maybe more since you still remember your own name. Doesn’t that deserve some kind of pity, even from you?”

Baribus fell silent, the brunette’s words seeping deep into his mind. He wanted to argue that no, although they were similar, Gray’s trials were nothing compared to his life as a nadder. They were nothing compared to the self-hatred he felt, the disgusting, boglish urges he felt, and the threwd that periodically pulsed from his very body!

But as he looked down at the young woman, the hardness of his heart began to soften. She was Gray's friend. More than that, she was an immortal -or as close to one as he had seen- like him with Grove’s lot in life. She had seen Gray, known him before his death - before he lost everything, including the memory of who he once was.

In truth, there had only once been a time when he had almost lost himself to his curse, when he had almost become a complete nadder with no humanity left. It was the night he had rescued Lavinia from her sea rogue captors, when Vini herself had to hold him back from murdering the captain as he had planned to do with Hebers. In that moment, he had lost all reason and become a beast of the sea. It was only through the efforts of the young Viscountess that he was brought back and his humanity preserved.

Baribus’ helm closed and turned as he looked away from the young woman. After several minutes, he slowly turned back and nodded. “Alright. I will send my apologies—“

“No,” Katherine said, cutting him off flatly. “You’ll go apologize to him in person like the gentleman you are, and show him you don’t mean him or anyone else here any harm.”

There was a low rasping sound as the former sailor inhaled and exhaled deeply. “You do like to make great demands of others, don’t you?”

Katherine smirked, probably the closest thing Baribus had seen to a smile that entire encounter.

“As a certified battle field nurse, making great demands is part of my job.”

[kyberled]

(pls murder me i feel like a pto mom who’s mad her Special Snowflake Son didn’t get honors or smth)

(my good Viking family honour and Irish complete disrespect for any and all authority won’t stand for Eadric ignoring me and being a shit example of a human, and so here goes everything lmao)

Mr. Ellery, to address the rather rude way i was dismissed previously:

Siobhan - Shiv, as she’s often called - was and continues to be better than you in every way. so much so that it would be irrational to list them all here, for sake of character limit. she is a strong woman who takes nothing from no one, and part of me is surprised she stuck around long enough for you to give your baby over to the Jedi.

Braig, your son, is a different matter altogether. now free of your influence, he is growing to be a kind, curious, and gentle young man. one can only imagine how different he would be still under your roof. he is always watching out for the underdog, especially so on missions; at times he will sacrifice his own safety to ensure that of his men and of innocent civilians, which is truly the mark of a hero. currently, he is apprenticed to one of the greatest Jedi of our time, and thriving. toughing out both injuries and trauma, he manages to pull through despite odds.

really, the only problem he causes is that of his self worth, which due to the Jedi Code can only be traced back to one person - you, Mr. Ellery. Braig’s self esteem appears to drop whenever you are around or mentioned, and so i must kindly inform you to step the fuck off.

one might even think that Braig has taken steps to distance himself from you, by dropping his last name entirely. but that’s more open to interpretation than anything. what’s undeniable is that you are a shitbag that deserves to rot in the darkest, most draugr infested rivers of Hel. or as we say where i’m from, megi tröll hafa þína vini! (may the trölls take your friends - which i’m sure they would, if you actually had any).

Bless!!