#and very grateful that even when i miss a garbage-pick-up session you are still out there doing it. it's a lot and it's honest work

[coquelicoq]

im obsessed with him im obsessed with his pathetic little life and his idiotic little choices. i want to adopt him but in the way you adopt a highway. wanna get some friends together and go pick up garbage on the side of his psyche once a month in our little hi-vis vests

[lonelypond]

Love Is For Losers

NicoMaki, Love Live, 1.7K, 1/2

Summary: Yazawa Nico and Nishikino Maki are both key players on the Otonokizaka University Tennis Team. But now Nico has decided to "improve" Maki's social media and tennis game.

Love Is For Losers

Not the most flattering picture of herself, racquet ready, waiting for the return of a serve, but Maki Nishikino really liked her look of concentration. So she hit “Post.”. And the hearts and reactions and fire emojis piled on. Wait, what was that comment, from @NicoNi? “With squinty eyes like that, how can you see the ball?”

WTF?!?!?!? Junior and top tennis singles player Nico Yazawa was notorious for living on social media. Since practice started in September, she’d been leading weekly social media best practice training sessions for the Otonokizaka University team that freshman Maki had proudly never attended. And now she was trolling Maki? Was that a social media best practice?

Maki never replied to a comment, but to let the smug Nico Ni have the last word would grate across every nerve Maki had.

To quickly type, “Who’s in the top 10 national standings again? Can you see that?” seemed almost an illicit thrill. To get an instant reply of eye emojis, plus a sweatdrop made Maki laugh out loud. Quickly scoping out the coffeeshop to check if she’d drawn any attention to herself, Maki clicked through to NicoNi’s home page, Nico’s last post was a bikini shot with an obscene amount of hearts and various emoji combinations in an endless comment scroll. Maki snorted, too obvious an attention grab. Maki would ignore it and stick to tennis, which she knew very well. Ah, there was a pic of Nico rushing the net, one of her favorite ways to use her sprint speed. Maki had an in.

“Spend less time looking at my pics and more time on your approach shots.”

Another instant reply. Another sweat drop. “Nico knows. But you’re so pretty. See you at media training ; )”

Did Nico think she was going to get Maki into one of her stupid sessions like that? Maki dropped her phone on the table, sipping her espresso with a frown.

###

Maki’s phone pinged explosively. A series of messages from her self proclaimed bestie and doubles partner, Hoshizora Rin.

R: hahaha Maki Ma you really need to be here

R: Nico’s going through your TWIG account as her “what not to do on social media” slideshow

R: it’s so funny, Maki

R: (*≧艸≦)(*≧艸≦)(*≧艸≦)

R: you missed out Check out Nico’s LIVE.

Maki stared at her phone. Nico’s Live, that happened when you went to someone’s TWIG profile and clicked on their pic, right? Maki did, grimacing as she clicked on Nico’s face. Nico was in front of a whiteboard, drawing pictures of tennis rackets, disgustingly cute tennis rackets. She leaned forward, checking her phone, then grinned like someone who’d just served a winning ace.

“And @Nishikinoshot has just joined the fans watching Nico on TWIG Live…”

Maki heard Rin yell “Hi Maki!!!” in the background as Nico continued, “One of the best ways to learn how to properly conduct and promote yourself on social media is to find an influencer you respect and build a relationship with them. @Nishikinoshot has chosen @NicoNi, the smartest move she…

“I have not.” Maki shouted at her phone and then felt silly when she realized there was no way for Nico to see or hear her, or was there? TWIG kept floating an “ask to join the Live” teaser, so Maki thumbed it. Nico paused, obviously her notifications were on, another one of those winning serve grins and suddenly Maki was sharing Nico’s screen.

“Jumping into the Live. Good initiative, Nishikino..”

“Maki.”

“So why’d you pick your TWIG handle?”

What kind of a question was that?

“Nishikino shot...you know...because of tennis...the Nishikino shot always scores.” Also worked with photography, a hobby Maki wanted more time for.

“Nishikino announces her prowess off and on the court.” Nico giggled, Maki glared.

“What are you saying? That’s not right.”

“Ah, so you admit it is confusing. Make a note of that, class, it’s always best to have a tag that doesn’t confuse people.” Staring right at Maki, ruby eyes twinkling, Nico made an elaborately surprised, amused face, raising a hand to cover her mouth. “We were reading it as Nishikino’s hot, ‘cause you are.”

Maki flushed. And fumbled with her phone to end the live, not even registering what other garbage Nico was saying. And then her phone pinged again.

R: Are you all right, Maki? Nico was just having a little fun.

M: I don’t want to talk about Nico.

R: Okay.

M: That was your fault.

R: Hey, I thought you’d want to know.

M; Yeah...but tomorrow, after practice, you’re on clean up.

R: Maaaaaki (⁎˃ᆺ˂)’

###

Grunting, Maki swung through at full velocity, then grimaced as yet another practice serve skipped out of bounds. She leaned over to pick up another couple of balls. Both buckets were empty. Tempted to throw her racket, instead she shook her head, tucked her racquet under her arm, grabbed a bucket and went to the other side of the court to pick up the balls.

“Hey, let me help you,” chirped an unfamiliar voice. Maki turned. Nico Yazawa had grabbed the other buckets and was hustling for the net. Nico was always hustling, all lean muscle and speed. Her sable hair, usually put up in twin tails, was loose, still wet from the shower. She’d changed from her usual practice uniform to casual pink and black striped biker shorts and an oversized pink t-shirt shirt that slid off her shoulder and read “Killer Cute.” “Coach ended practice an hour ago.”

Maki shrugged, starting with the balls as far away as possible from the spot Nico had chosen.

“You’re always out here.”

“I take tennis seriously.”

Nico hesitated, hands on her hips, watching Maki curiously over mirror sunglasses perched halfway down her nose, “Nico sees that. But you can get trapped in patterns if no one points them out.”

“I’m fine. I win.”

“Don’t you want to win better?”

“Win better? That’s not a thing.” Maki tapped her racquet against her leg, fidgety.

“Accuracy matters.” Nico picked up a tennis ball, tossed it into Maki’s bucket, and winked, “Crush your opponents with finesse, not raw power. Fewer wasted serves.”

Maki’s hasty rush of anger changed to curiosity. Nico led the team in aces, with amazing power for someone so short. “Coach hasn’t said anything.”

“Like you said, you get the job done. And Coach has other problems...like keeping Honoka from exhausting herself in the first few volleys.”

They both chuckled at how eager Honoka Kosaka was to chase down every ball, until she hit empty. As a joke, after their last practice, Rin had her girlfriend, Hanayo Koizumi, the team manager, post a photoshopped pic of a golden retriever playing next to Honoka’s double’s partner, Umi Sonoda. Honoka had laughed longer than anyone.

Nico was right, Maki realized. Coach had been spending a lot of time on the players with more basic problems. And their assistant spend most of the time on opponent research, editing video footage.

“Nico uses a platform stance, but Maki could get away with a pin-point stance. Watch my feet.” Nico grabbed a ball, tossing it up, swinging at it with a pretend racquet. Instead of her feet remaining the same distance apart, her back foot shifted closer to the front one and then she pushed off up into the serve. “You’ve already got natural explosive power, you don’t need a nitro boost.”

Maki considered, moving her feet through the change Nico suggested. It felt comfortable, offering more control. She nodded, then jumped back when Nico clapped her on the upper arm.

“You’re a quick learner. Hang on. Nico will hop over there and you can try it out. It’s more fun with an opponent.”

“I’ll win. You’ll be crushed.” Maki winked.

Nico laughed and it echoed. “Nico didn’t teach you everything Nico knows.”

###

“So you’re a local too.” Nico was scooping salad into Maki’s bowl. They’d decided to stop for dinner.

“Yeah. My family owns a medical center so I couldn’t just go off anywhere.”

Nico paused, eyebrow raised. “Why not?”

“I’ve been working there since…” Maki tried to remember her first job at the hospital, how old was she? She remembered sitting at her father’s desk, coloring in specially made anatomy chart pages in elementary school. Did that count as a job? “Forever.”

“Ah. Nico had to stick close for family too. Three sibs.” Nico flashed a smile and three fingers. “They’re the best, but they rely on Nico.”

“Your parents work a lot?” Maki understood that.

“Yeah, my mom does. My dad died when I was little.”

Maki paled, what did you say to that. “I’m sorry” came out as a mumble.

A sigh, weary, as Nico pushed Maki’s filled bowl in her direction, “Me too. But we survived. He taught me tennis. And…” Nico put on a sparkling smile, bounced her hands up to her temple, rock hands gesture, and her voice became brighter. “Nico Nico Ni.” Then she relaxed back to normal, “He said it could cheer up the whole world..”

Maki remembered something. “Nico Nico is the ideophone for smile.”

Nico leaned forward, “So the Nishikino isn’t just for show.”

Maki shook her head, “We have a hospital in Tokyo too. I’ve spent a lot of summers there.”

“Wow, a doc and a jet setter. So why tennis?”

“I liked it better than golf. My parents said piano didn’t count as a networking activity.”

“Piano? Classic stuff.” Nico created a melody on an air keyboard.

“Some. And jazz. I get to take a couple of music classes, at least this year.”

Nico wondered if Maki realized how robotic she sounded, and how laced through with sadness her mood was as she talked about her family.

“Hey, Nishikino…”

“Maki.”

“Maki. Play for Nico sometime. Nico loves singing. My dad always said I should go on American Idol.”

“Sorry.” Maki twisted a curl of hair, “I don’t play those kind of songs.”

Maki obviously just needed to know more about Nico, which was Nico’s favorite topic. “Nico is multifaceted. We can do Ella and Count Basie, if you want. With the time you save not practicing your serve.”

Nico winked, her multifaceted ruby eyes cheerful pulls as she hummed. Maki found herself intrigued. “I’ll think about it.”

“Nico will be your personal tennis coach to make sure you improve.”

“Not necessary.” Maki leaned back to signal the waiter. Time to start the main course.

A/N: Another AU Yeah August entry, college rivals was requested and the Olympics put me in a sports mood. Planning another chapter.

Still taking requests.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Beneath an Aurora Sky (Ch. 9)

Summary: The South Pole Station is equipped for research and Edge has always made sure things run smoothly for the inhabitants. His charges are meant to follow his rules and regulations, and in turn, he makes sure they survive in the arctic temperatures. It takes plenty of hard work and determination and Edge, along with his crew, can handle both.

He wasn’t counting on one of the newest researchers. He wasn’t expecting Rus.

Tags: Spicyhoney, First Time, Arctic AU, Hurt/Comfort

Notes: So, bourbon came up with an amazing AU and did some lovely art for it: please look at it and love it.

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Read Chapter 9 on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

Walking back to the station was quiet, their boots crunching on the hard-packed snow. The sudden flare of a lighter in the darkness made Edge wince and look away, but the smell that wafted to him wasn't the harshness of the cigars his brother occasionally smoked. Only a hint of tobacco and some bitter spice, cloves, perhaps? The traces of it on the cold wind wasn't entirely unpleasant.

"Don't leave the butts on the ground," Edge cautioned. The lights around the station formed a series of linked rings, illuminating them as they stepped into one. From here they were close enough to see the mellow lights from the narrow windows. Most were darkened, covered in heavy curtains. The kitchen alone was brightly lit, shadows of Bonnie moving as she prepared the evening meal.

His cigarette glowed brighter as Rus took a long draw on it, exhaling smoke and steamy breath with words. "you seen a single one?"

"I haven't. But you'll need to excuse my caution. It's too cold here for decomposition. Any trash left out stays until someone picks it up."

Rus’s smile was unoffended, eye lights mostly hidden behind his goggles. "i know, edgelord, don't worry. i'll leave the chilly side of paradise as pretty as i found it. had problems in the past?” Rus shook his head, frowning unhappily even as he took another drag. “you'd think scientists of all people would know better."

"It's been my experience that they do know better,” Edge said, sourly. “They simply don’t care.” He’d been aghast to learn that truth after their very first session. Implementing a fine into the contracts helped somewhat; few of their researchers could afford to be casual litterbugs on top of what they were already paying. It still occurred with disturbing frequency and there was always a day scheduled after a session ended to search the station grounds and the various research posts for any carelessly left garbage.

"what do you guys do with the trash here, anyway?” Rus crouched and his cigarette sizzled out as he touched it to the snow. He took a small tin out of his pocket that used to hold mints and dropped the butt into it, then hurriedly pulled the mitten-tip back over his glove. “send it off on vacation with the next ship?"

Edge hesitated. Station functions weren't precisely secrets and yet— "It feeds into the Core. The power generated is minimal, but it absorbs without a pollutant affect. Trash, human waste products, there's little that it can't transfer into energy."

The next question would be why there weren't Core facilities on every street corner, why they weren't working to mass produce, to sell, sell, sell, and Edge braced himself to endure it.

But Rus only nodded. "cool."

The main station door was looming ahead. Before Edge could open it, Rus caught his arm, stopping him. He set down his gear, not quite haphazardly, gingerly reaching out to push Edge’s goggles up, then his own. "hey, wait. lemme try something?"

Edge waited, warily curious.

He did not expect a gloved hand beneath his chin, tilting his skull up. Nor did he expect the gently eager mouth against his own, though perhaps he should have, tasting cloves and underlying sweetness. Their drawn-up hoods almost met along the edges, creating a pocket of warmth, a private world where he could sigh softly and meet that mouth with his own. It should concern him, perhaps, how quickly he was growing accustomed to this, but instead he only accepted it greedily, meeting Rus’s eagerness, the damp, delicate touch of his carefully exploring tongue.

There was only the hush around them, the artificial light an island in the darkness. A low moan caught in Rus’s throat, dissolving into a shaky breath shared between them.

“there." Rus drew back with a satisfied sigh. "needed a refill. now, what do you need my help with?”

His soul was pounding and for a moment, Edge was tempted to lead him to his quarters and ask for favors of another sort. But no, his brother was long overdue to see Alphys and the machine, and he knew today Undyne wasn’t going to be at dinner, performing maintenance at one of the outer research posts. Red would be less wary if it was only him, or if he believed it was. "Come with me and I'll show you."

“c’mon, just tell me!” Rus tried, but he was starting to look visibly cold, blinking too hard, and teeth barely chattering. That was enough for Edge to hustle him through the door. Explanations could wait until they were out of the elements.

They stripped out of their gear and Rus was nearly as quick as Edge, shoving his feet into untied shoes while Edge finished lacing his own. By the time their coats and boots were properly stowed, Rus was vibrating with impatience.

“You can leave your equipment here for the moment,” Edge unlocked one of the storage lockers and held it open, stowing the long telescope case. “Don’t get used to it, but it’s already close to dinner and I don’t want to miss our chance.”

“our chance for what?” Rus whined, hastily setting his bags into the locker. Normally, Edge would find that sort of tone grating, but somehow coupled with Rus’s obvious eagerness it was almost…adorable. If a seven-foot-tall skeleton could be adorable, something that Rus managed with surprising regularity.

Still, Edge waited until they were walking down the hallway, drawing out that impatience simply to enjoy it, before he finally said, low, “I need you to go into the dining hall and talk with Red.”

“that’s it?” Rus asked, his expression a comical mix of skepticism and disappointment. “you want me to get chatty with the sawtooth goblin, while you--?”

Edge forcibly did not smile at that description of his brother, but it was a close thing. They stopped outside of the door and he could hear the chatter from within, smell the hearty food that Bonnie was already dishing up. “There’s no way for me to go into the dining hall without him seeing me. Only two entrances, this one and the one from the kitchen and Red sits so that he can easily see both.”

Edge knew it was foolish to assume that just because Red didn’t appear to be looking, it somehow meant he wasn’t watching with that disturbing perception of his.

“guess you can't,” Rus said slowly, metaphorical wheels turning in his skull.

“So, what I need from you is a distraction. We’ll go in together, but I’m going to go speak with the two geologists about the equipment request they made yesterday. You go talk to Red. Tell him that one of the sno-cats was acting strangely, making odd sounds, something to that effect. If you can keep his attention, I may be able to get close to him without him noticing.”

“uh huh.” Rus crossed his arms and rocked on his heels. The thermal shirt he was wearing was one that Edge had given him, and Edge forced himself to look away before it became a distraction. “i get the plan, but you wanna tell me why we’re playing tag with red?”

Discussing his brother’s health issues with an outsider was out of the question, and yet, it was reasonable to ask. “Because he needs to pay a visit to Alphys and he’s proven reluctant to do so. Can you trust me on that?”

There wasn’t so much as a pause, no hesitation as Rus said, “yeah. i trust you.”

Simple words but they sent a tingle of odd warmth through him.

Carefully, Edge peered through the narrow window to pinpoint their targets without being seen. “All right, everyone is in place. Are you ready?”

“yeah, jason bourne, let’s do this.”

All heads rose when Edge pushed open the door and walked in, except his brother, whose stocking cap was pulled low on his skull where it was pillowed on his folded arms. Sunglasses were concealing his sockets, but they were likely tracking him as Edge walked over to the geologists, who were chatting softly while sharing a notebook between them.

The Humans’ eyes went wide as he walked up to them, their faces falling into lines of concern. Good. “Excuse me,” Edge said crisply, “I have a question about your equipment request for tomorrow.”

“Is there a problem?” the younger one asked anxiously, biting her lip and probably worrying about the hours they’d waste tomorrow trying to do without.

“Not at all,” he reassured them hastily. No need to panic them for his own selfish purposes. “I only wanted to confirm something.” They relaxed visibly, but out the corner of his socket, he watched Rus straddling the bench across from Red, knocking on the table with his knuckles. His brother didn’t raise his head so much as turn it slightly in Rus’s direction.

It didn’t stop Rus from launching into what was surely a convoluted explanation. They were too far away for him to hear, but he could see the moment Red caught interest in what Rus was saying. Rus was talking animatedly with his hands, those slim fingers flashing, and it was half simple gestures, half a jumble of signed words.

Such clever hands, how would they feel ghosting over bone, how would they look clenched into bedsheets while their owner moaned and—

“Boss?”

Edge blinked and looked back down at the perplexed scientists. “Never mind, everything should be fine. If you’ll excuse me?”

“But—”

He ignored the confused protest, walking around the table to skirt the wall as closely as he could get. As he approached, the conversation became clearer.

"…nah, not a rucka-ka-ka sound, it's more like a kachuga, kachuga, you know?"

"kachuga, got it.” Red steepled his fingers, pressing them to his teeth absently as he considered. “comin’ from underneath, you think, or the engine? ‘cause a tread coming loose is noisy as fuck but it's more of a, thunkita thunkita sound."

"yeah, no, it was seriously a kachuga.”

Ridiculous as their conversation was, it nearly worked. Edge was almost within reach when he saw Red’s eye lights flicker towards him through the side of the dark lenses, his sockets widening.

Fuck.

Edge lunged but Red was on his feet in a blur, already moving out of reach – and then squawking with outrage as he fell to the floor with a crash. It was enough of a delay for Edge to catch hold of his wrist, holding tightly, but Red made no attempt to squirm free. Instead, he rolled over, looking down in disbelief at his feet where his shoelaces were tied to the bench.

The collection of scientists standing on the other side of the table took in the scene with varying expression of mute awe, and Edge was close to the same. When had Rus possibly had a chance to…?

Only Rus was still sitting, helping himself to the breadbasket. He said unrepentantly around a mouthful of biscuit. “sorry, pal. the boss said he needed you.”

Slowly, Red reached out with his free hand to pick up his sunglasses. One lens was cracked from him breaking his fall with his face, and the frame was bent. Edge tightened his grip on his brother’s wrist but the sharp anger and outrage in his expression melted quickly into grudging admiration, “not bad, fashion victim.”

“i have my moments.”

“yeah,” Red licked his teeth obscenely and Edge would have given him a smack if he were able to let go of him, “and i bet my bro is enjoying a front row seat to ‘em.”

That made Rus pause mid-chew. “wait, you guys are brothers?”

“yeah, don’t ya see the resemblance?”

“weird,” Rus said almost under his breath, but he shook his head. “well, if edge had shared out some of the height when they were passing it out, i might’ve guessed. You both have the rugged look going, but last i knew, cracks weren’t hereditary.”

“they ain’t,” Red’s grin bordered on vicious, “how about i give you one to match—”

And that was quite enough of that; even if Red was annoyed about his sunglasses, he had several pairs.

“If we’re finished with the impromptu stand-up comedy?” Edge said, low. He reached down with one hand and plucked Red’s laces free, never letting go of him. “You need to go in for your treatment and you’re going now. You can walk and maintain what few shreds of dignity you have, or I can drag you through the station. I’ll leave the choice up to you.”

Red considered that, glancing where all the scientists were watching with great interest. Then he sagged back to the floor as if attempting to become one with the tiles. "you want me there, you can carry me." He paused, then drawled out deliberately, “boss.”

Of course his brother would choose the least dignified route. If he thought a few stares were going to stop Edge, then he was woefully mistaken. "I'll remind you that this was your choice.”

Edge crouched, scooping Red’s deadweight up with a grunt and let him flop loosely over his shoulder as Edge carried him from the room. The conversation swelled as the door swung shut, not that Edge cared. They could speculate all they wanted, none of them could possibly guess the truth.

Footsteps behind him made him pause and Edge looked sharply back to see Rus at their heels.

His grin was equal parts hopeful and pleading. “well, i’m invested now. how can i go on if i don’t see how the movie ends?”

He couldn’t see his brother’s face, but Red came to life from where he was hanging like a bag of dirty laundry, twisting so that one elbow dug painfully into Edge’s spine, and Edge could easily picture his scowl, “aw, no, no way, this ain’t no party and you can shove your investment up your—”

Edge turned around abruptly to face Rus, leaving Red swearing at the wall. Those pale eye lights begged silently, Rus bouncing lightly on his toes.

“All right,” Edge said at last and Rus’s little squeal was overshadowed by the sharp increase in volume from Red. He gave his brother a slap on the pelvis in retribution for a particularly vulgar turn of phrase. “Again, I’d like to remind you that I offered to let you walk.”

“fuck both of ya,” Red grumbled, but he subsided, hanging sullenly as Rus hastily moved to walk next to Edge instead of behind him. Probably a wise choice; with the way Red was swearing, he might catch fire.

“nah, i’ve only got so many fucks to give,” Rus said cheerily, “they don’t grow on trees, you know, can’t be sharing them with everybody.”

“bet you could find a few extras growing in my bro’s pa—ouch, damn it, boss! quit it before you add a broke pelvis to my list!”

“Both of you, be quiet,” Edge said tersely. Red muttered something beneath his breath and Rus mimed pulling a zipper across his teeth. But his grin was a sly one, his eye lights dipping to the front of Edge’s trousers as if in search of one of the extras his brother spoke about.

This was going to end up being a terrible mistake, Edge decided, but he’d made his bed, hadn’t he. His own eye lights strayed as Rus wandered a couple paces ahead of him. His pelvis was concealed beneath layers of clothes, but Edge could make out the outline as his hips swayed slightly with each step. When that had become such a temptation, he didn’t know, but it was and his hands itched to touch, to learn those gentle curves.

Not exactly thoughts he was comfortable having while carrying his brother. He strode on determinedly, putting Rus next to him again and shielding himself from that view. For now, anyway.

He’d made his bed, yes, but perhaps when he was finally forced to lie in it, he wouldn’t be alone.

-tbc-

[steves-on-a-plane]

Right There

Avengers Endgame Challenge Words: 2921 Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Guest Staring: Brother!Clint Barton x Sister!Reader Requested: Anon  Prompt: Bucky Barnes & #18: “Sometimes, the thing you’ve been looking for your whole life is right there beside you all along.” (Guardians Of the Galaxy Vol 2)  A/N: This story was one hell of a journey. It took me almost the entire day to write and while the beginning is a little agnsty, the ending is worth it. At least I think so. 

“Hey relax. They’re gonna love you.” Your brother, Clint, nudged you playfully. You were walking up the path to the Avengers Compound’s front door together. It was your first day in your new, probably temporary home. A home that Clint had found for you.

“Of course they’ll love me! I’m the better Barton.” You teased.

“Huh, I always thought that was Laura.” He joked with you. “But honestly kiddo you’re looking a little green.”

“It’s probably the morning sickness.” You explained, rubbing your distended abdomen. “Plus it was a long car ride and it’s a pretty winding driveway. I’m feeling a little nauseous.”

“Alright, let’s get you inside. Then you can rest.” Clint swiped his ID badge through a reader adjacent to  the front door. He typed a six digit code into the corresponding keypad and the door responded with a pleasant chirp. “Tony told me the others would be waiting for us in the conference room, but we can stop and get you some crackers or something first if you want.”

“Are you sure they’re on board with this? I mean I know you said they were nice people but no one is letting a pregnant stranger live in your high security base of operations nice.” You bit your lip. Clint blinked down at you. Biting your lip had been a nervous habit of yours since you were kids and sometimes it was hard for him to remember that you weren’t that helpless little girl anymore. He just wanted to hold you and tell you everything was going to be all right.

“Listen, [Y/N], you know I’ve never been one for kumbaya or drinking the kool-aid, but we spent a lot of our lives looking for a place where we would belong. It took me marrying Laura and meeting these guys to understand that sometimes, the thing you’ve been looking for your whole life, is right there beside you all along.”

“Are you saying that I should get married and by a farm?” You asked him playfully.

“No.” He offered you a playful smirk back. “I’m saying you have a chance at a fresh start here. Don’t miss out on being happy because your afraid to trust the people around you. People who already accept you for who you are.”

“did you get that off a greeting card or something?” You questioned, jabbing his ribs with one of your index fingers.

“No, that was all me. C’mon they’re waiting for us. Conference room is this way.” He said, waving you towards an offshoot corridor.

It was your third day living with the Avengers. So far the entire team had been nothing but hospitable to you. Each of them tactfully asking you questions about the baby’s due date and if you had any names picked out yet. They were all kind enough not to ask about the baby’s father or the exact details of how you’d come to live at the tower. All they’d been told was that you needed a place to live and with Clint’s three kids, the Barton family farmhouse was a little overcrowded these days.

While you were grateful to have a roof over your head, the idea of living at the compound rent free and responsibility free had not been sitting well with you. Even though the team had all adamantly insisted that you should be getting plenty of relaxation, you couldn’t help but feel restless. You wanted to do something to feel like you were contributing in some way. Even an insignificant way to thank them for helping you out so majorly would make you feel better.

You found your opportunity on Monday morning when you walked into the kitchen to find it looking disastrous. If you hadn’t know the facility was completely secure you would have suspected a battle had occurred in the room. There were coffee grinds everywhere. Across the counter, in the sink and even in the garbage disposal. A mound of dishes was piled from the sink to the nearest counter top and there seemed to be pancake mix cemented onto one corner of the counter island.

After scouring around for a little while you found all the cleaning supplies you would need and set to work. There was a dishwasher, so luckily that meant you didn’t have to scrub all the dishes by hand. You set to work unloading and reloading the dishwasher before doing anything else. The sink had to be empty of dishes before you could exterminate the coffee grinds.

“Do you do laundry to?” Your back was turned to the door and you hadn’t yet learned to identify the individual Avengers by their voices yet, so you turn around with a smile.

“I could get started on that once I’m done in here.” You offered. When you pivoted, you could finally identify the voice owner. “Sergeant Barnes.” You nodded in friendly greeting.

“The formalities aren’t necessary.” He waved you off as he slid into a seat at the breakfast bar. “Just Bucky will do. But I’m afraid I owe you an apology, I didn’t realize it was you, [Y/N]. Stark has maids that come four times a week, I wanted to see about signing up for their laundry service I know they do Steve’s and…”

“It’s all right Bucky.” You assured him. “I meant what I said, I’d be happy to do your laundry. I’ve been looking for things to do for these days.”

“I thought you were supposed to be resting.” He said. “At least that’s what Steve and Stark said when we had the team meeting the day you arrived. Now Rogers I could still take in a fight, but I’m not looking to get on Stark’s bad side or further onto his bad side I should say. He doesn’t like me very much.”

“So, you don’t need someone to do your laundry?” You asked, leaning back against the counter.

“Let’s not talk about me anymore. Tell me about you.” He suggested.

“There’s not much to tell.” You insisted. “What do you want to know?”

“How’s it going, kid?” Clint draped himself in your doorway. He was there for what had by this point become  a regularly scheduled visit. You’d been living with the Avengers for a few weeks not and had settled in quite nicely.

“Wasn’t the whole point of me staying here to keep me out of your hair?” You pointed out to him. “You’ve been by three times already this week, Clint. I’m fine.”

“I’m not here just to see you!” He protested. “I’ve been in the area…a lot.”

“It’s nice that you worry about me.” You thanked him. “But these people are your friends and they’re slowly becoming mine too. I’m safe here with them.”

“That’s what you told me about that no good ex-boyfriend of yours too.” He scoffed. “And where is he now?”

“Nice.” You huffed, suddenly hostile. You didn’t like having your mistake tossed back in your face.

“[Y/N], I’m sorry I didn’t mean…” Your brother clearly didn’t know you would take his joke so personally. He tried to apologize but you cut him off.

“Oh, I think you did.” You snapped at him. “Never miss a chance to take a shot do you, Hawkeye? Doesn’t matter if the target is a paper bullseye or your own sister!” You pushed past him and stormed out of the room without giving him a chance to backpedal. Wanting to put as much distance between you and your brother you stomped through the labyrinthine halls of the compound. You quickly wiped away tears as they brimmed over in your eyes, but still your vision became blurry.

“[Y/N]?” You blinked several times trying to place the face of the figure who’d just appeared in the hallway. “I heard you crying, what’s wrong?”

“Bucky.” You sniffled once your vision was cleared enough to see his handsome face properly. “Don’t mind me.” You pleaded.

“Don’t mind?” He repeated. “I can’t ignore my very pregnant friend who’s running down the halls crying.”

“It’s stupid.” You insisted. “Clint just said something he didn’t mean and I’m so emotional these days that it set me off. I’ll be alright.”

“Do you want me to beat him up for you?” He offered with uncertainty.

“That’s very kind, but unnecessary.” You chuckled.

“But I got you to laugh, so that’s something.” He smiled back. “Why don’t we take a walk, it’ll give you a chance to cool down. A nice trip through the garden always works for me. Would you like to join me?”

“I didn’t even know there was a garden.” You told him.

“Then let me be the one to show you around, but it’ll have to be our secret alright?” He said. “Otherwise everyone else will catch on and it won’t be quiet anymore.”

“Secret’s safe with me, Buck.” You promised.  

Over the months that followed, you and Bucky continued to develop a close friendship but unlikely friendship. It was unlikely because prior to your arrival at the compound Bucky had made it clear to his fellow Avengers that he wasn’t one for socializing. Yet for some reason he enjoyed your company more than his chosen loneliness. As the two of you grew closer,  the others started to take notice. Some were glad that you and Bucky both had someone to talk to while others, like your brother, began to worry.

“Hey, Cap, can I talk to you for a minute?” Clint approached Steve one afternoon while the super solider conducting his afternoon training session.

“You really want to do that right now?” Steve asked before delivering a deft uppercut to the punching bag in front of him.

“Sorry, but you’re a hard man to track down.” Clint shrugged.

“Yeah,” Steve smirked. “I guess I can be. What’s going on, Barton?”

“I want to talk to you about [Y/N] and Barnes. Be honest with me, how worried should I be?” He waited patiently for Steve’s answer.

“You know I forget sometimes, how Buck must look to everyone else.” Steve’s eyes glazed over as he thought of the past. “To me he’s still that kid from Brooklyn, fighting the fights I was too stupid to get myself out of.  I think Bucky’s intentions with your sister are entirely honorable, Clint. The Bucky I know, the real Bucky, he’d do anything to protect the people he cares about. And I can tell just by the way he looks at her that she’s special to him.”

“I hope so, Cap.” Clint frowned. “It was just the two of us for a long time, then I met Laura and we had kids. Things happened so fast, I’m afraid I let [Y/N] down in the process.”

“I don’t think that [Y/N] feels that way at all.” Steve shook his head. “Since she’s been living here all she does is talk about how supporting and understanding you’ve been with her situation. She’s grateful to have you in her life Clint, but since you asked my opinion, I think it might be time you stopped treating [Y/N] like your kid sister.”

“I’ll take that under advisement, Cap. Thanks.” Clint nodded. “I’ll let you get back to it.”

“It’s a nice day.” You said, casting your eyes to the sky. The sun was out. The temperature was warm but not too warm. There were clouds in the sky, but only enough to shield from the sun’s strong rays. It was a beautiful day. You and Bucky were sitting together in the rose garden, you usual hangout these days.

“It is.” Bucky agreed, stretching his long legs out. “ Not to put a damper on the mood, but have you given any thought to what you’re going to do once the baby is born?”

“Honestly?” You said, rubbing your very pregnant stomach. “No. The thought of bringing a living thing into the world is terrifying enough that when I think about any future plans, I only make it about as far as the delivery before panicking.”

“Well, I have an idea that might help relieve some of that terror.” Bucky pulled his legs back towards himself so that he was sitting straight up. He turned to look at you, his expression very serious. “Why don’t you move in with me? We could get a place you and me…”

“Buck, I don’t even have a job.” You countered.

“You don’t need a job.” He promised. “I’ll take care of you. We could buy a house near your brother and his family if you want or on the other side of the country. I don’t care, I just know that I don’t want you to go away.”

“Bucky, it’s a very generous offer but It’s not your responsibility to take care of me. It’s not Clint’s job either. I need to take responsibility for my own actions.” You told him.

“I’m sorry.” “Bucky apologized. “I’m not saying that you need someone to take care of you. Of course not. I know how important it is for modern women to feel equal in a relationship and the truth is, [Y/N], you take care of me. You do my laundry. You clean my room. You take walks with me. You talk to me. You understand me and you see me, Bucky Barnes. You don’t look at me and see my metal arm or my scars or any of that. I’m not the Winter Soldier to you. To you I’m just Buck, and I didn’t realize how much that meant to me until the other day when I thought about how I would feel if you went away.”

“I don’t really want to leave you either, Bucky.” You told him. “You’re pretty much the best friend I’ve ever had, and I don’t want to screw that up. I’ve screwed up every relationship in my life except for Clint and his family. And let’s be honest they’re all kind of contractually obligated to love me.”

“Your brother and his family love you genuinely.” Bucky insisted. “And so do I, [Y/N]. I’d do anything for you, because I want you to be happy.”

“Like I said, it’s an extremely generous offer, can I take some time to think it over?” You asked, biting your lip.

“Of course.” Bucky nodded. “It’s an open offer for the rest of your life.” He said very seriously. You quickly thought of a way to graciously excuse yourself from the garden and left Bucky alone on the bench. When you turned to look back at him, he had his head in his hands.

“Ugh not now.” You groaned to yourself. On your way back into the compound your spotted your brother walking out.

“Hey, [Y/N], Nat said you were probably out in the garden with Barnes but here you are.” Clint greeted you with a smile. “Listen I know you’re probably tired of me coming to visit but…wait what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” You sniffled, holding back tears.

“[Y/N], what happened? Was it Barnes?” He demanded.

“No, no!” You jumped in front of him to grab his attention. “listen for a minute.” You then proceeded recount the conversation you’d just had with Bucky.

“I don’t understand what the problem is.” Clint confessed. “He’s been nothing but great to you. Why wouldn’t you say yes?”

“Because I like him. Hell I probably love him.” You explained. “So much that I don’t want to screw it up. It’s bad enough that this kid is stuck with me for the rest of its life. Is it fair for me to drag someone else in?”

“By the sound of things, you’re not dragging anyone anywhere. And you know, it doesn’t have to be some dramatic thing, I’m sure you can stay here. Far as I know, no one has any plans to kick you out any time soon. Do you remember what I said to you when you first came to stay here?” You thought for a minute about what Clint was saying.

“You don’t need anyone else’s permission to be happy, [Y/N].” He added.  

“We might not have had an easy life, but I got really luck having you as a brother.” You said, gently elbowing him.

“You sure did.” He agreed, ruffling your hair. You groaned, but he only shrugged. “It’s not cool to elbow a pregnant lady. You’d better got catch up with Barnes before he changes his mind.”

“Don’t joke about things like that!” You shoved him hard. Clint, taken by surprise, fell to the ground as you sprinted towards the garden.

“Buck!” You panted as soon as he was within your sight again.

“[Y/N]? What’s wrong?” He jumped to his feet.

“Nothing.” You tried to wave him off, but he was already at your side, escorting you back onto the bench. “I’m an idiot.” You huffed still trying to catch your breath.

“Don’t be silly, I’m the idiot.” He crouched down so that he could look at you eye to eye. “I should have never sprung something like that on you an expected an answer.”

“Shhhhh.” You pressed a finger against his mouth while you gulped deep breaths. Once you were respirating normally, you explained yourself. Sometimes, the thing you’ve been looking for your whole life, is right there beside you all along. I love you, but I was afraid. Afraid that I’d ruin things afraid that…” You were cut off as Bucky leaned forward, firmly pressing his lips against yours.

“I love you too!” He promised before going back in for another kiss.

  *Please feel free to play along and send me some Endgame Challenge Requests!*

[btssavedmylifeblr]

DNA - Part Six

Genre: futuristic dystopian smut and angst

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 3835 (Part Six of Ten)

Summary: Jungkook had one job: Reproduce. Competition for stud services was fierce, so efficiency was key.  Love is inefficient.

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five

Warnings: angst, men and women used for breeding, references to dub-con body modification

The subway jostled back and forth, bouncing in time with Jungkook’s nerves. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, double-checking the address for the fifth time. He looked up to watch the lighted map above the subway door tick down the stops left to his destination. He didn’t need the map though. Jungkook knew this subway line forwards and backwards. Two stations left.

As he waited, Jungkook scrolled up past the address his brother had texted him and continued past the short interchange of the last week where Jungkook asked if he could come visit. A gap of almost two years lay between Jungkook’s greeting a week ago and the last message from his brother. Jungkook felt a mix of guilt and anger as he read back the message. All it said was “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry” was not sufficient for the way Yoongi had left him. Jungkook was still bitter about his brother’s disappearance from his life. He understood now more than ever why his brother might have wanted to leave the farm. But it didn’t excuse him leaving with no explanation. Jungkook would still be holding out for a better apology if he didn’t need his brother’s help now. Yoongi was the only man Jungkook knew who had voluntarily left the farm, and he needed to know how he had done it.

An elderly woman carrying a large sack of vegetables waddled on to the train at the next stop. Jungkook got up to let her take his seat. One station left.

He checked the map on his phone again. His brother’s apartment wasn’t far from the subway line, very close to the place they grew up. He couldn’t understand why his brother came back here. Yoongi had always been desperate to leave their old neighborhood. The older boy claimed he was destined for bigger and better things and Jungkook had always believed him.

As the train pulled into Jungkook’s childhood subway stop, he was filled with a strange combination of nostalgia and dread. His old station smelled exactly as he remembered: a mix of spicy fried food, coffee and urine. Not pleasant, but surprisingly comforting in its familiarity. He let his feet carry him up the stairs to the exit. The advertisements on the walls had changed, but not the cracks and crevices in the foundation.

Cold wind whipped past the stud as he reached the top of stairs and stepped onto the street. He pulled the hood of his sweatshirt up against the wind and balled his hands into fists which he stuffed in the front pocket of the thin grey hoodie.  He couldn’t stop shivering. Jungkook was not dressed appropriately for this weather. This was the first time the stud had left the farm in over two years, so outerwear wasn’t a big part of his wardrobe. Bulls technically got two days off a month to visit family and friends, but Jungkook had never used them, preferring to spend the time racking up more sessions. There was no one outside the farm who needed or missed him. And every day on the farm was a day he could spend getting closer to his goal.

As he turned down his brother’s street, Jungkook opened his phone to check the GPS one last time. More guilt washed over him as he stared at the apology that had gone unanswered for such a long time. He was grateful Yoongi had messaged him back after the things Jungkook had said to him. He had been so devastated to lose his brother, he said a lot of things he now regretted. He accused Yoongi of washing out, of quitting, and of not caring about him when the older man refused to explain himself.

Yoongi’s apartment sat at the top of three flights of stairs, though the steep rickety metal stairs at the very top were more similar to a ladder than a proper staircase. The rooftop apartment was a small add-on room with a balcony that looked out at the roofs of surrounding buildings. Jungkook chuckled when he saw the laundry laid out to dry on a drying rack, all black, even down to the underwear. At least some things never changed.

Jungkook knocked on the door and heard a loud crashing sound, followed by a mumbled “Well, shit.”

The door opened and his brother stepped outside, large black garbage bag in his hands, full of take-out containers and empty ramen bowls.

“Hey, Kook,” he said, brushing past the younger man to toss the garbage in the large trash can near the top of the stairs. Jungkook knew better than to expect a grand show of emotion from his brother. Yoongi was always too cool for that.

The older man looked mostly the same, with one noticeable difference. Yoongi’s signature platinum blonde hair was gone, and he was back to his natural black. Jungkook was surprised he had dyed it back. His brother loved the statement the bleached hair made. Dying your hair was a way of owning your genetic status. Enhanced humans very rarely dyed their hair. It would be wasting valuable money their parents paid for that hair in the first place. Yoongi always said one of the perks of being unenhanced was it gave him the freedom to experiment on his own, figure out his own unique fashion. His brother was so much more confident and self-assured about his status than anyone else Jungkook ever knew.

“You changed your hair.” Jungkook said, wanting to ask more about how his brother was doing, but not knowing where to begin.

“It grew out.” Yoongi replied tersely, before opening the door and gesturing for Jungkook to come in. “Sorry for the mess,” he muttered, as Jungkook stepped into the apartment. “I tried to clean up a bit.”

It worried Jungkook that this was what “cleaned up” looked like. The small one-room apartment was drowning in refuse. The bed was pushed into one corner, a desk and computer faced another corner, and the fridge, stove, and washing machine clustered on the wall near the door. More take-out containers, burnt cigarettes, and empty greasy pizza boxes covered most of the available surfaces. A pile of dishes that had fallen over in the sink appeared to be the source of the crash he had heard earlier.

Yoongi plopped down in the desk chair, spinning away from the computer to face the room, motioning for Jungkook to take a seat on the bed. Jungkook pushed some clothes to the side and sat down gingerly.

“What have you been doing?” Jungkook asked, eyeing the computer. The computer seemed to be the nexus from which all trash in the room radiated, surrounded by ashtrays and crumbled bags of chips.

“Delivery drones.” Yoongi answered, picking up a heavy-looking control pad so Jungkook could see it.

“Do you like it?” Jungkook was trying to make conversation, but his brother wasn’t giving him a lot to work with.

“It’s boring.” Yoongi shrugged, looking down at his workstation and gathering up another handful of garbage that he shoved into a nearby trash can.  “But it gives me time to work on my music. And the pay is alright.” He looked back up at Jungkook and added “Nothing like what you’re making, I’m sure.”

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. “I only just paid back the farm,” he mumbled.

“Congrats.” But Yoongi’s tone didn’t sound very congratulatory. “I’m still working on that.”

An uncomfortable silence fell across the two men. Yoongi got up and walked over to the small refrigerator next to his washing machine.

“Want a beer?” he asked, pulling out two cans.

Jungkook shook his head. Studs didn’t drink. Alcohol lowers your sperm quality. Yoongi nodded and put one back before returning to his seat. Cracking the beer open, he looked at Jungkook again. Jungkook figured it was time he got to the point.

“I need your help.” Yoongi snorted. Jungkook rubbed his hands up and down his thighs nervously. “But first, I think I owe you an apology.”

“Yeah?” Yoongi arched an eyebrow and took a sip of his beer.

“Yeah,” Jungkook sighed, “I shouldn’t have been so mad.”  The younger man fidgeted with a rip in the knee of his jeans. “I realize now you probably had your reasons for leaving.”

The older man exhaled, taking another big gulp of beer, his expression softening. “I’m sorry too,” He said, twisting the tab of the can back and forth in his hands. “I never should of talked you into going there in the first place.”

Jungkook chuckled dryly. “I don’t think you could of talked me out of it”

Yoongi leaving home to go to the farm had been one of the most devastating days of Jungkook’s young life.  His brother was the only one in the house who understood him, who looked out for him. While the other kids would make fun of Jungkook’s sketches and steal the few art supplies he managed to acquire, Yoongi defended him. When he shared a room with Yoongi, no one ever messed with his stuff. When he was feeling down, Yoongi would always sit with him and let him listen to the other half of the earbuds from the Ipod Yoongi had spent all of his summer job money to afford. Jungkook still had that Ipod. His brother had left it for him when he went to the farm to keep the younger boy company in his absence.

It was inevitable that when Yoongi left home to become a stud, Jungkook would follow him. Jungkook idolized his brother and followed him everywhere. He had to wait four long years before he could follow him to the farm. It only made it all the more devastating when, only six months after Jungkook had finally arrived, his brother abandoned him again.

“You know I never wanted to leave you, right?” Yoongi asked, setting down his beer and looking up at Jungkook, tugging on his earlobe with one hand like he always did when he was nervous.

“So why did you?” the younger boy asked, crossing his arms.

Yoongi sighed and shook his head, picking up a box of cigarettes from the desk. He selected one and placed it between his lips, before rummaging around in his coat pocket for a lighter.

“I thought you quit.” Jungkook chastised. He hadn’t seen Yoongi smoke since the older boy’s rebellious teenage years.

His brother shrugged, finally finding the lighter. “Doesn’t matter if I reduce my sperm count now.”  He lit the cigarette and took a first slow drag.

“It matters if you get cancer and die,” Jungkook argued.

“Does it matter to you?” His brother asked, as he puffed out the smoke.

Jungkook’s mouth fell open. Of course, it mattered to him. Yoongi was the only real family Jungkook had ever had. They weren’t biologically related, but it had never mattered. He felt awful that his brother would think he cared so little for him.

“Hyung,” Jungkook whined, “I’m sorry.”

Yoongi took another long drag from his cigarette, followed by an equally long exhale, then stubbed out the rest in an ashtray, apparently deciding not to finish it.

“I fell in love.” Yoongi murmured, finally admitting what he wouldn’t tell Jungkook before.

“Really?” Jungkook leaned forward. Maybe his brother understood exactly what he was going through. The stud thought of the ache in his heart over the girl he loved, and how Yoongi must have felt the same pain. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Yoongi looked regretfully down at the cigarette he had stubbed out too early.

“I didn’t want to mess up your shot,” he said, looking up at Jungkook with a sad smile. “You were doing so well.” He laughed. “You were the golden boy.”

Jungkook grimaced at the nickname, but nodded. “Who did you fall in love with?”

“Someone I shouldn’t have.” Yoongi took another sip of beer, pulling back the corners of his mouth into a small frown. “They didn’t feel the same way. But I didn’t know that until I asked them to leave. I thought they’d go with me.” Yoongi sighed, finishing off the beer and tossing it into the pile of trash near his desk.

Jungkook suddenly worried about what he would do if his girl didn’t want to go with him. But she had been so upset, so sad, and so horrified about the milking machines. He was sure she wanted him to get her out.  

“Where were you going to go?” Jungkook asked.

“To the North.”

“What?” Jungkook inhaled sharply. The North was a place of extremism and backwards thinking. No one in their right mind would choose the North when they had been born in the South. That’s what their textbooks had always taught them.

“There’s no genetic modification there.” His brother elaborated. “They don’t have the technology. I could have whatever job I want. I could be a musician. No one would stop me.” Yoongi had always wanted to play the piano, but no one would bother teaching a boy with no genes for it.

Jungkook closed his eyes and imagined it. He saw the appeal. A place where everyone was the same, where anyone could be whatever they wanted to be.  A place where he could raise a family without a fear that they would be judged on their genes their whole lives.

“How did you get out?” he asked.

“I terminated my contract. I have to pay them back still, but we worked out a payment plan.”

“That’s it?” It seemed too easy.

“Do you want to leave?” His brother asked. “Is that why you’re here?”

Jungkook nodded. “I’m in love too.” It was the first time he had ever said it outloud.

His brother gave a long exhale and got up from his desk chair to sit next to him on the bed.

“Jungkook…” Yoongi looked like he needed to say something, but couldn’t. He swallowed. “I’m assuming it’s a cow?”

“It’s a girl,” Jungkook corrected. “But yes, we’ve been bred together. Several times.”

His brother groaned and collapsed backwards on the bed.

“Are you sure it’s love?” He asked, staring at the ceiling. “How well do you even know her?”

“It’s love.” Jungkook straightened his back. “She’s all I ever think about, hyung. I just want to be with her. It’s driving me crazy.”

Yoongi sighed a long defeated sigh. “There was one other condition for my leaving.” He ran a tired hand over his face. “They sterilized me.”

“What?” Jungkook leapt off the bed.

“Irreversible vasectomy.” Yoongi looked over to watch Jungkook’s agitated pacing, but didn’t bother getting up.

“They can’t do that!” Jungkook shouted, pacing back and forth in the kitchen/laundry room.

“They can.” Yoongi covered his eyes with his arm.  “My DNA is their copyrighted property. Can’t have little Min Yoongi’s running around for free. It’s in the contracts we sign.”

“And you were okay with that?” Jungkook was shocked his brother would agree to such a thing.

“I didn’t really care at that point. There are too many fatherless Yoongi’s in the world already.”

Jungkook felt his fantasy crashing down around him. There couldn’t be any laughing children on the beach, couldn’t be any wife with his child in her arms, if they sterilized him. He paced back and forth faster, mind racing to come up with alternatives.

“What if we snuck out?” He asked frantically. “What if we got out and went north? What if we crossed the border?” He looked to his brother.

“That might work.” Yoongi uncovered his eyes and eyed his younger brother, gears turning in his head. “They’d have a hard time getting you back. They’d probably just let you go.” The older man began nodding to himself. “I could get you to the border, if you want to go, but you would have to be sure.”

“I’m sure.” Jungkook urged. “But it has to be tonight. She’s leaving in two days.”

“Okay.” Yoongi sat up, running his fingers through his hair. “You get her. I’ll get you out.”

It didn’t take Jungkook long to pack that night. Other than some clothes and Yoongi’s old Ipod, he had almost no possessions. The farm always took care of everything he needed.

Jungkook had stolen Tae’s key card earlier that day. The breeder had eagerly accepted Jungkook’s challenge on the breakroom Nintendo and had been too distracted by Jungkook letting him win to notice the hand the stud slipped into his lab coat as they played together on the couch.

Jungkook left a note for Jimin, sitting on his roommate’s pillow. It just said “Thanks, hyung.” followed by Jungkook’s phone number. He wasn’t good with goodbyes.

The stud threw a cap over his head to hide his face from the cameras, tossed his backpack over his shoulder, took one last look at his home for the last two and half years, and headed for the breeding pens.

Tae’s keycard allowed Jungkook into the breeder’s observation room next to the breeding stalls. Like the stalls, this room had access to both sides of the compound, so the breeders could come and go as necessary between studs and cows. It also had access to what Jungkook needed most: the directory of where the cows bunked. Jungkook was lucky that Taehyung’s work password also happened to be his log-in for his favorite shooter game they often played together.

Once he knew where she was, he opened the door to the cow’s side of the complex. He pulled his hat down lower over his eyes as his stepped into forbidden territory.

The cow’s side seemed to be a mirror image of the stud’s side, so Jungkook found his way to their bunks easily. He didn’t know what time curfew was for the cows, so he wasn’t sure if they would all be in their bunks or not yet. He found her room number and knocked softly on the door.

A woman in a pink bathrobe answered, eyes widening slightly as she took in the boy that had no place being in this hallway.

“Can I help you?” she asked, folding her arms over her chest.

“I’m looking for 2050.” Jungkook glanced up and down the hallway. He spotted the camera at the far end, angled so it could observe the whole hall. He didn’t have a lot of time.

“Why?” She raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“I just need to talk to her,” Jungkook whispered. “Please.”

The woman kept the judgemental look on her face, shaking her head side to side as she stepped back into the room.

“Unnie?” she whispered as she went over the bottom bunk closest to the door. “You awake?”

A small groan of confirmation came from the bottom bunk. “What’s going on?” He heard her ask sleepily.

“Jungkook is here and wants to talk to you.” The stud flinched when she said his name. He was trying to be covert. How did she even know his name in the first place? As she turned and walked back into the dark of the bunk room, he realized he must have bred her. But he hadn’t recognized her at all.

“Jungkook?” he heard his girl call his name in the darkness.

“I’m here,” he called back softly.

She pushed back the covers and groggily got to her feet. He smiled when he saw her pajama pants covered in little white sheep. She threw on her own pink bathrobe and shuffled sleepily over to the door. Even in the middle for the night, he thought she was beautiful.

“Jungkook?” she asked again when she saw him. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you.” He beckoned her out into the hall with him, not wanting to be overheard by the cows in her room.

She frowned and pulled her bathrobe tighter around her, taking one look back at her bunk, before stepping out into the hallway.

“What’s going on?” she asked as she closed the door behind her.

“We don’t have a lot of time.” Jungkook rushed. “I’m here for you. My brother’s coming. I’m going to get us out.”

“What?” she glanced at the camera, then back at him with wide eyes.

“I can’t do this anymore.” He reached out and grabbed her arm. “But if I ask to leave, they’ll sterilize me.” He squeezed her arm gently. “Please come with me.”

“Where?” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and furrowed her brow.

“North of the border.”

She recoiled from him, pulling her arm out of his grasp.  “I can’t do that.”

“No, no, it’s okay.” he urged. “The north isn’t like what we thought. They don’t have modification there. Or breeding. People can just be people.”

“No, I mean, I can’t leave,” she shook her head. “I have family here. I have responsibilities.” She began backing away from him. This was not how he thought this was going to gol. His whole plan was falling apart.

“But I love you,” he pleaded, reaching out to grab her hand.

“You love me?” she laughed and for the first time, he didn’t like the sound of it. “No, Jungkook, you don’t love me.”

“Yes, I do!” He insisted, running his hand through his hair anxiously. “You’re all I think about. All I have thought about since I met you is wanting to be with you. I tried to stop and I couldn’t.” He took both of her hands in his as he pleaded with her to understand him. “I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too much. I love you.”

“Jungkook,” she cut him off. “What is my name?”

2050. 2050 was not her name. He didn’t know her name. He’d built an entire life around her in his head and he didn’t even know her name. And he was only realizing it at this moment.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but nothing came out. He watched his whole dream crumble in front of him as she looked up at him sadly. He wanted her to be the mother of his children. He wanted to make a life together. But he didn’t even know her name. The silence echoed in the long hallway.

“That’s what I thought.” she sighed, squeezing his hands gently, before letting them drop. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“I can learn!” He begged, throat constricting. “Please,” he choked out as tears ran down his cheeks. “Please, I can learn. Please, come with me.”

“I’m sorry, Jungkook.” She whispered as she backed away from him. “I have things I have to do here.” She opened the door and slipped back inside her room.

“Please,” he pleaded one last time.

Her lower lip trembled as she shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she said one last time before closing the door and disappearing from his life.

“What is your name?” he asked the door. But it was too late. She was gone.

Part Seven 

[lingchung-gratitude]

Mar 15, 2020

I’m in a 21 day abundance exercise some girl friends. Exercise 1 fits very well with my gratitude journal. Today I give thanks to 50 people.

Make a list of 50 people who have influenced your life, in a small or big way. Dive through your life and bring those people in. Write the names of the people who touched you and the circumstance —  It could be one word, a song, a book, a memory.

I am grateful for...

Mom. In many ways, the best mom ever. My matters are always more important to her than her own matters.

Bernabe. Rock solid. If I’m stuck on the road, he will take a day off just to pick me up. Always there for me without making any demands of me.

Mummy. She’s my aunt in Singapore who’s like a mom. She loves me like her own.

3rd Mummy, my childless 3rd aunt who passed away some years ago. She loved me like her own. 

Ah Gong, my maternal grandpa. For spoiling me. Which grandparent would pretend he’s the eunuch and his grandchild’s the emperor and kneel to his 6 year old granddaughter? Mine.

Ah Ma, my maternal grandma. For doting me, disciplining me, and taking care of me when mom was working. Though you told me I came from garbage can and that made me cry, I still love you lots. Sorry I always fought you for the TV. I wish you were around for longer. I still remember the night you teared and told me you wish you could live to see me get married. Well, I’m still not married. So you haven’t missed much.

Dodo, my baby sister. She’s my cousin. I just love her. And I know she loves me too. She can be cold towards other people, but she always warms up towards me.

Mama, my cousin’s paternal grandma in Singapore. She showed me kindness when I was a lonely child in Singapore. I felt nothing but love and warmth from her. 

Aunt Nheng Jie Jie, my aunt’s family nanny. She was a childhood savior. In her, I found light, guidance, and a sense of belonging in a family that I didn’t feel like I belonged to.

Flea, for being there for me since we were 6. Despite the distance, she’s always one message away. She’s my personal virtual doctor. And we still talk to each other like we are 6.

Twins, Ai Hsin / Ai Ling. Again, for being there since we were 6. These two girls showed me what it means to love and take care of your friends unconditionally.

Ai Ling and Allen, for piquing my interest in yoga. I have a feeling this will become an interest of a life time.

Jacq, my best friend from boarding school. When I grow up, I want to be just like you. But I never will because our personalities are polar opposites. But having you in my life just reminds me to let things go.

Howard, my high school / first year university bf. For still being the person I turn to when I need to run my thoughts by someone. For raising me when I was a bratty teenager here alone in Canada. You’re family. You’re also my #1 fan. Sometimes you have more faith in me than I do.

Tim, my high school sweetheart. You showered me with innocent romance. You gave me memories that I think every teenage girl should have. I still have all your letters and memories of your romantic gestures that cynical grown-ups no longer do. I’m grateful I’ve experienced love with such openness.

Dom. For being a good friend for the last 15 years since our breakup. I like your current girl friend heaps and I know she likes me too. I think I will be in your wedding party :)

Clem, my best friend. My brother essentially. Always there for me over the years and enlightening me with your different nonprofit adventures and absolute randomness.

Lonn. The best thing that came out of our relationship was your group of best friends. Thank you for your rock solid friends who kept me in the group and are now some of my closest friends.

Mike. For sharing my bio-hacking / personal development interest and for regularly sharing interesting links and news.

Anita. For being a role model in many ways. Your lack of ego is something I aspire to.

Alex, for always keeping me in mind and cooking for the group of girls.

Lucy. For being fun, caring, creative, artistic and supportive. You’re always on my side.

James Antifaev, for being my voice of reason. When I’m stuck, your counsel always carries me through. We are same same but different.

James Patrick Nugent, for being the chaos of my life. Even after our breakup, you continue to be a big influence. Through our relationship, I have learned to love someone unconditionally. I have also awaken to deeply rooted social justice issues that plague our society.

Paul Jasmins, for being a great company over the last year since you’ve moved back to Canada. Always supportive and lending a listening ear. You’re one of my few friends who would visit me in Thornhill. You make me like my own place even more.

Paul Taylor, FoodShare’s Executive Director. Working with you on the board has been eye-opening. I aspire to have your temperament as a non profit leader.

Albert, for being a guide in the food tech, social justice area.

Christine Jew, for being the most supportive girl friend ever. Always so non judgmental.

Urban, the most significant relationship partner of my life to date. Though we don’t talk anymore, but, you’ve changed me for the better. I will not be the person I am today without your influence. To this day, when I’m stuck, I still think to myself, “what would Urban do?”

Sophia, Urban’s wonderful older sister. She still checks up on me years after Urban and I have broken up. Through Urban, I learned that if you want your partner to love and respect your family, you have to love and respect your own family. Urban respects his older sister very much, for good reasons. And I feel the same towards Sophia. 

Yueyue. Your thoughtfulness baffles me at times. Thank you for always taking the lead in showing care, coordinating trips etc.

Vish. You’re my CPG career voice of reason. If I’m stuck, I go to you. You were with me every step of the way throughout my almost-laid-off ordeal.

Viraj. For your occasional one-liners from California. Your narcissistic sense of humour cracks me up. 

Sandy. You can be a real ass at times. But I know, despite your foul mouth, you care and you always come through when I’m in need.

Sonia. Because of you, I became part of the “cool kids” gang at EPC. Not that being a cool kid matters, but a sense of belonging to a group definitely does. Thank you for always including me.

Ann. For being a loyal, simple, giving friend.

Tim Ferriss. Wealth of knowledge.

Ben Greenfield. My fitness go-to.

Dave Asprey. Bullet-proof radio.

Scott, for our occasional geek-out sessions on personal finance. 

Helen, for believing in my abilities and helping me make the transition from Category Management to Brand.

Giselle, for being a role model professionally in terms of strategic thinking and temperament, and for being an advocate of me.

James MacIntosh, for being my sponsor over the years. My career would not have been as smooth without you.

Julia, for being the fun, intellectual, outdoorsy girl friend with interest in social justice.

Amy, for always coming through when I’m in need. Though we are not in frequent contact, when I’m in a dark place, you always offer a helping hand just in time.

Pranav, for offering me an opportunity that I don’t know if I’d take. But thank you for wanting me to be on your team again.

Robin, for being a kind leader and reaching out when I needed it.

Stacy, for being a friend and a media teacher. I’ve learned so much about media working alongside you over the last year.

Betty, my cousin’s partner. For taking care of my cousin in Singapore. My cousin’s having a minor surgery tomorrow. Sports injury. She’s scared. So I’m glad Betty’s with her.

Helpful Taiwanese People: cab driver, train station staff, policeman. These people went out of their way to help me retrieve my lost phone in Taiwan. They showed me warmth in mankind, and affirmed my strong belief in a sense of community. 

[neakco]

Vixen & Crow Ch. 8

Ao3 First Prev Next V&C Masterlist

Injuries, stolen phones, and escapes, oh my.

Amelia was leaving the washroom; she was looking at her phone to unlock it and text Sebastion when she spotted a shadow blocking her way.

“Look here ladies, we’ve found ourselves a parasite.”

Amelia glanced up to see four women blocking her. “May I help you ladies?” She slowly started to shift her weight so the women wouldn’t notice her stance.

“Yes actually.” The women that spoke had curly brown hair. “You can leave and never come back.”

She was about to retort when the blonde snatched her phone. As she tried to grab it back the other three all shoved her back into the bathroom.

“I thought people would have grown up by now!” She yelled uselessly at the closed and now locked door.

She looked up to the small window along the wall. It was just big enough that she could probably squeeze through with only a little discomfort. She grinned as she evaluated the height, anyone else would probably risk head injury; but she was an ex thief. She could do this.

“Nathanial are you awake yet?”

The small plush fox poked his head out of her purse. “I think I am. How my I assist you?”

Amelia was dragging a garbage can under the window. “I need you to keep a watch for people outside.”

He looked at the door, “Why do you not just use the proper entrance?”

“My lockpicks were left at home today, plus that is not a skill I want to be caught practicing.” She began tucking in loose pieces of clothing.

“Very well. Drop your purse out the window. I will yip twice if it is safe.”

She hugged him, “Thank you.”

 

Down the hall, in one of the rest areas, the four women were attempting to unlock Amelia’s phone.

“I just don’t get why her password is so complicated.” The blonde complained.

“She probably wants to keep it secure Rebecca.” The straight-haired brunette sighed.

Just as the black-haired women was about to try her luck the phone began ringing. “It says Vanessa.”

“So answer it Brittany.” The curly brunette snapped.

“I am working on it Katherine.” She smirked, “Hello?”

“Yes, hello. I would like to speak to Amelia please.” Vanessa’s strict voice managed to carry to all four women.

“I don’t know anyone by that name. You have a wrong number.”

“Very well.” There was a click as the call ended.

“I can’t believe that worked.” Rebecca giggled.

 

Back in the cafeteria Sebastian politely excused himself to answer his phone. “I am sorry, it is from my father’s company, I have to answer.” I went into a quiet hallway before picking up. “Vanessa, is something wrong?”

“Is Miss Amelia with you?”

“No, she left to use the washroom. Why?”

He could actualy hear Vanessa grimace through the phone, “I called to verify the details for this weekend’s study session with her and was instead answered by a rather rude individual.”

“I will find her and have her call you back, thank you Vanessa.” Sebastian turned and headed towards the washrooms.

 

The women were still trying to unlock the phone when it began to ring again. This time displaying ‘Bestie’ on the screen.

Katherine chose to answer this time, “What kind of lame name is Bestie? Do you do each other's nails and have pillow fights while sleeping in the living room? Lame. Grow up.”

Sebastian sighed, that sounded like it could be fun. He shook his head and continued on; he was fairly certain he had heard his ring tone.

Sebastian dialed again and followed the sound towards four women giggling about how childish Amelia was. He straightened his back and placed on his business smile before turning the corner. “Are you ladies going to answer that?”

“Sebastian!” All four jumped slightly.

Britany almost dropped the phone. “It’s just my mother, I don’t feel like talking to her now you know?”

Sebastian’s polite smile never faded as he showed the girl’s his phone as he hung up causing Amelia’s cell to fall silent. “I think you ladies have something that doesn’t belong to you.”

Seeing that silence was his only answer he walked a little closer, “Imagine my surprise when my father’s personal assistant informed me that Amelia had lost her company phone.” His smile turned a little cruel for a moment, “I shall be sure to tell her we can thank Rebecca Fraser, Julie Mitchells, Brittany Hill and Katherine Jones for the return of Amelia’s phone.”

The girls drooped as they placed the phone in his waiting hand.

Sebastian spoke carefully as if disinterested, “I could always say the phone was found by an anonymous student.” The four looked up in hope. “but only if you tell me exactly where it is that Amelia dropped her phone.”

 

Amelia was almost through the window when she heard a key enter the lock. Not wanting to get caught in such a compromising position she pulled herself through a little too quickly. The window closed hard on her ankle with a sickening crack before she rolled into the ground.

Plush Nathanial watched her avoid hitting her head, “I give it an 8.5 on the dismount.”

She quickly grabbed her bag and limped around the corner. “Funny, could you pass me the tensor bandage from in there?”

He lifted it out with his front paws, “Why do you have this?”

Amelia almost laughed at the sight it made. “In case I had to splint any other wild animal’s limbs. I can’t really afford extra clothes.”She then began to wrap her swelling ankle tightly. “Hopefully this keeps my limp in check. The last thing I need is people targeting it to trip me.” She grinned, “Let’s see if Sebastian is done with the leeches.”

 

“The women’s washroom is quite clean, yet I do not see Amelia.” Sebastian glanced into the room and spotted the markings on the floor where the trash can normally rested. Of course she would not stay put.

“I swear to you that this is where we left her.” Brittany whined.

He just waved over his shoulder as he walked away, “Thank you ladies for the return of Amelia’s phone, I will be sure Vanessa knows who is to be properly rewarded.”

 

Amelia glanced around the cafeteria, if she wasn’t so mule-headed then she could meet Sebastian at their next class. “Excuse me,” She approached one of the men she had seen nearby earlier. “have you seen Sebastian?”

“You’re too late, he left to go take a phone call.” He tried to ignore her completely after that but Amelia caught the quick look towards that hall she herself had taken earlier.

“Thank you.” She smiled to herself, was this what playing a normal game of hide and seek was like?

Turning a corner, she came close to colliding with someone and losing her balance until two hands steadied her. “There you are my lady. I believe I found something of yours.” Sebastian smiled and handed back her phone.

“Thank you. I am sorry I was gone so long.” Amelia turned carefully as they headed back towards the cafeteria.

Sebastian noticed her limp and took her bag, “This is why the damsel is supposed to wait for the prince to rescue her.”

“This damsel decided that her tower wasn’t that tall.” She made a grab for her bag only to have him move it away from her. She sulked, “It is just a bruise from the window.”

“You can carry your own bag again after school. If you behave and prove you can I will even let you walk home.”

She sighed and decided to check over her phone for any damage. “How did the prince even know the damsel was in need of rescue?”

“Vanessa wanted to check over some study session details with you. You should probably call her back.” Sebastian tugged her towards a bench. “I warn you that she probably likes you more now.”

She sat down with a frown, “How? I lost the phone.”

“You are well mannered and respectful.”

She grinned a little, “Now I have to call her back.” She was grateful he wasn’t making a big deal about her losing the phone he got her.

 

Sebastian watched Amelia carefully the rest of the day. She may have said it was just a bruise but she favored it more as the day went on. He couldn’t help but think she was hiding how bad it really was for some reason. He really had not wanted to let her walk home, but no pain ever showed on her face.

Amelia was dishonestly honest about a lot of little things when it came to herself. She acted like she needed to prove something to herself. He would just have to help her realize how awesome she really was. Sebastian looked at his phone quickly and saw it was time to patrol with Vixen. He would just have to be patient and see what he could coax out of Amelia tomorrow.

[johnsaye]

Planetary Motion

What a strange week, all kinds of things to do. For someone in my shape, you think I’d have just one boring day after another, but I don’t. Things are as fast-paced as I can ever think of. I’ve got on average of seven home health visits per week, two physical therapy sessions, two occupational therapy sessions, two more visits from a home health aid to help me take a bath and an extra nurse’s visit to help me through whatever I’m dealing with at the moment, although that’s going down to once per two weeks now, and then on top of that I’m doing my best to write every day. Kids are in school, I’m going each week to any number of doctor’s appointments from general practice and pain management all the way to neurology, wound care or urology as needed, and I’ve got a wonderful cat, Penelope, who naps on me a lot lately. Sometimes I just flop when it’s time to get back into the bed in the evening. 

Writing

Planning a whole galaxy of planets for world building it is tough work. Maybe I’ve gone too far? I decided as I’ve stalled a couple of times while attempting to begin writing a space opera style story that I wanted to know what all the major planets I wanted to include were. I decided that I just wanted to begin with a few (seven) individual solar systems that were habitable. I could make up stories that took place in those locations for days, and for a while considered having a single solar system where all the action happened. I thought it might be this solar system, with a future Earth at the center, but decided to stay away from that. I wanted light speed, or rather faster than light speed travel as a part of it, so I needed different places to go. So I picked a number and seven seems to be the right number, though I think maybe eight, just because I like the number eight. 

I want to know where everything is, where all the civilizations arose, who knows who, how many intelligent species are out there traveling the spaceways and what all their relationships are. Where are the natural resources, where can people, human or otherwise, live. What is the power or land grabs like. Which groups want single rule per planet, who wants a big empire spanning many planets (and habitable moons and dwarf planets.)

I’ve been working out where my barren and forest moons are, and where large quantities of rock are, and large ones that don’t qualify as planets, but might be good as a pirate base or something. The next step I want to take is to start pinpointing where intelligent spacefaring civilizations started. I want to know where didn’t leap to the stars on their own and where they did, and who first contacted them and whose side they might be on in a conflict. 

I’m barely scratching the surface of these worlds, but I ‘m finding that as I visit each character and planet, they all have a story to tell, and they want to tell me. Scenarios seem to bubble up that want to be stories, now I just have to figure out who is the lead character, because several of them keep raising their hands and want to be featured. 

Health

I had an interesting visit to the urologist this week. It’s not my favorite thing to talk about, but being a (recovering?) paraplegic fir this length of time has caused some issues to come up I wasn’t expecting. For instance, bowel movements have slowed way down, and apparently, I keep catching urinary tract infections because my bladder doesn’t empty as it should. Too much information… I know. I think I’m doing well, but it seems my bladder isn’t emptying fully as it should, and if I allow my blood sugar to spike the organisms already hanging out down in there go Ya-Ha! They have a little party and boom, I’m back up UTI alley. 

I’m very grateful for the chair Medicare just sent me, because it reclines all the way back, which allowed the docs at urology access to my butt. Got a shot in both cheeks with an antibiotic and another prescription for some additional ones to finish this garbage off. 

Twitch

In website news, I’ve integrated twitch into the right-hand panel of the site. I’m toying with a twitch as a way to interact with people. To be literally present Live on camera on my website at times. I’m pretty isolated out here. My wife is my best friend anyway, so it’s the best of both worlds there, but I don’t get to see many others who aren’t doctors, nurses or therapists, and I just wonder if this is the way to stick my neck out there. I miss being able to bring my Dungeons & Dragons books to the lunchroom to see who says hello. Today everything’s digital, so if this is it, then this is it. I was also considering doing the first draft of this year’s NaNoWriMo book on camera. I’m still thinking about that. 

Star Wars

Holy Cow! The Mandalorian is coming to Disney Plus in November and all I have to say is ‘Take my money!’ That’s just all there is to it. The trailer dropped and I’ve been going over it and over it again, maybe not with the depth that some will, but I’ve looked at it my fair share, and like many things from Lucasfilm, I think this is going to be a game-changer in what you can do in science fiction on television. I imagine it won’t be too long before every YouTuber at home has a motion capture suit and the ability to render detailed characters from their basement green screen setup. 

The fact that they are doing this now likely means they’ve mastered this technology among others over the last several movies, to make it affordable to produce quickly for something with the number of episodes to qualify as a television series. Pretty awesome stuff. I’m looking forward to the Mandalorian when it premieres. 

Reading

I can once more read the Catcher in the Rye! J. D. Salinger, someone I thought growing up to be a brilliant writer and mind disappointed me in his age to be one of the most famous hold-outs when it came to delivering his work through any other channel except for print. I’ve loved The Catcher in the Rye for many years, going through Holden Caulfield’s mind as he gathers himself up to return home again after getting ousted from yet another prep school. Salinger refused to release the book in another format, no audiobook, no movie adaptation, and especially no ebook. 

No movie, okay I can get that. It’s hard to get into a good first-person book as a movie without the lead sounding like a film noir detective, so there you have me. I don’t understand not having an audio version though, because among the disabled, as I am now, it cuts the story of from such a large group and that I don’t understand, and denying the ebook? What’s that about? In a world where the bookstore is no longer out there somewhere, but in everyone’s pocket, that seems like a poor business choice. ‘Oh but I love the smell of paper!’ No— you mean mold. Grr. He held out. When he died I found out he left instructions not to release them, and then his son held out… until now. The ebook version has been released. Maybe he needed the money? I don’t know, but I’m glad he did. 

My hands are still incapable of holding a book or turning pages, but I can read anything on my kindle app with the swipe of a stylus. I am very glad to be able to read the book again and have it in my virtual library. An audiobook is apparently still off the table. Maybe eventually. 

I still wonder, where do the ducks go when the pond freezes over? Even though I live in the south where the ponds never do. 

It’s interesting though since reading they were going to do it on the BBC website, they published that sucker to kindle quick!

https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-49330560

Therapy

My therapists were excited that we won the eBay auction for an EasyStand XT, though the auctioneer doesn’t seem very interested in shipping it, and we’ve withdrawn our offer. (Because they freaked out when they figured out they didn’t account for shipping the thing…) We’ll see what eBay wants to do about that, but I very much dis;Ike it when people don’t know what they are doing. I feel for them. I’m sorry they haven’t got the wisdom to think about what shipping would cost. The bad thing is I would have happily paid extra for the shipping and worked out a deal. 

My second plan to get one is to go to my local supplier and start working a deal with Medicare for a new one, I’m going to have to pay to ship anyway, so it doesn’t really matter. I’m going to get one either way. It’s just now I’m waiting a little bit longer. That’s all. 

I see myself using one of these days as I get the strength back into my legs for standing up again. I used one of these in the hospital a few times. I need one now. So I’m going to make it happen. 

https://easystand.com/product/png50209-evolv-xt/

source https://www.johnsaye.com/planetary-motion/