#and various physical fuck ups but yk

[mxoleander]

oh btw it turns out I have a microdeletion that makes me genetically an asshole and so does my mom and brothers

[milkandhwaney]

CLAWS MASTERLIST | all my works can be found here

posting chapter two today too actually so y'all can have some more excitement with the series lol i gotta try to sell it yk?

CLAWS

Chapter Two: Over and Under

Summary: when you started attending hogwarts university, you didn��t expect to immediately fit in with a group of guys who call themselves ‘ateez’. it’s only natural that as you grow closer, someone falls in love, becomes an enemy, and unravels the drama.

WC: 3k

Tags: smut, some members will be assholes (for the drama sorry), angst, hate fucking (oops), degradation, drinking, partying

Disclaimer: this is purely a work of fiction and in no way represents the members

March 2024

Your breath hitched in your throat as Yunho looked at you, sadness written all over his face. Wooyoung was yelling and swearing at Jongho while Yeosang and Seonghwa tried to hold him back. Mingi was cross-armed in the background, watching silently as the scene unfolded in front of him. Hongjoong and San were consoling each other about what to do, the situation obviously tearing the group apart.

October 31, 2023

You wanted to throw up. You physically couldn’t stand seeing both Wooyung and Yunho standing so close to those girls in the corner of the kitchen, laughing and leaning over to whisper something into their ears because the music was so loud. One of the girl’s hands was pressed firmly against Yunho’s chest, and he didn’t seem to mind. Wooyoung was holding the other around the waist, pulling her closer every now and then when she’d shift away slightly. The music engulfed you into the moment, pain aching nearly unbearably in your chest. You didn’t want to be there anymore. You didn’t realise how firmly you were gripping the red solo cup in your hand until you heard a light crack and felt cool liquid dripping down your forearm. “Fuck,” you muttered, looking down at the now existing puddle of vodka on the floor.

“Really? On my Yeo’s nice carpet?” Hongjoong’s voice sang beside you playfully. He let out a chuckle before you abruptly looked up and glared at him, signaling him that this wasn’t a joking matter. His smile fell instantly when he saw the look in your eyes. “Are you okay?” The liquid on the carpet began to twist and turn, morphing into odd shapes that seemed to turn into various ghoulish creatures that represented all the rage you were feeling. “Woah, okay,” Hongjoong exhaled, placing his hands on your shoulders from behind, “love, we need to calm you down.” You felt a sense of ease wash over you as Honjoong moved his energy through you. Taking deep breaths, you began to relax. Having a friend that had the power of healing certainly had its pros. 

Yeosang moved over towards you, noticing your energy shift as he was passing by the seas of warm bodies to get water from the kitchen. He followed your body’s direction to where it was pointing, flickering his glances between Yunho and Wooyoung standing beside the fridge and your red face. It wasn’t very well lit in the room, yet he could still see the irritation rising to your cheeks. 

“Have you not told them yet?” he asked, “or, one of them, anyway.”

“No.” You sighed, turning around so you were now facing him and Hongjoong.

You, Yeosang, and Hongjoong had been joint at the hip since your first year at the university. The three of you instantly hit it off, becoming best friends quickly. They knew about your complicated feelings, that you liked both Wooyoung and Yunho. But you just never got the courage to tell either of them how you felt. You watched them from a distance as they’d date other students, attempting to suppress the jealousy you harboured. At one point, something almost developed between you and Wooyoung, but it never did. The two of you being the only ones in Gryffindor made it easy for you to spend a lot of time together. You’re not even sure if either of you even realised it was happening, the growing connection. He seemingly moved on and was back in the dating pool when the year started. You assumed not seeing each other as much over summer break caused that rift. Throughout September, you noticed how he smiled at his phone often, so you’d ask him who he was talking to in a way that would come off as being playful and hide your ulterior motives of why you wanted to know. He’d simply tell you it was person a, or person b; someone he’d met over the break or at work, and so on. You and Yunho had grown closer over the summer when you found out his family was moving to a neighbourhood close to yours. Wednesday evenings, the two of you would go to the drive-in theatre together then practise magic afterwards. With his telekinetic abilities, the two of you made a solid duo. Once, you formed a bow and arrow out of fire from which he shot a bullseye in under a second, burning a clear hole through a tree stump. 

“I haven’t,” you admitted, tossing the broken cup into the trashcan a few inches away, “I don’t know if I ever will, honestly. I think I just need to get over it.”

“You say that as if you haven’t already been trying to do that,” Hongjoong responded, “give it time.”

“Maybe you just need to get under someone else,” Yeosang chimed in.

Hongjoong snapped his fingers like he had just had an ah-ha moment and pointed finger guns at you. “Yes, that’s what you need.”

“Guys,” you whined, nudging there sides, “I do not need to get fucked to get over them.”

“Fair enough,” Yeosang nodded, backing away with his hands up in surrender, “I just know you. You need an external push to actually take another step forward.”

You nodded, throwing your head back with a loud sigh. “I just know I should have never gotten involved with either of them in the first place. I mean, Wooyoung and I being so close not only emotionally, but physically in the dorm rooms, it was inevitable that at some point we’d let our inhibitions slip.”

“Did you guys ever talk about it?” Yeosang asked.

You shook your head. “No, we both never addressed it and just acted like everything was normal. I can��t blame him for feeling the way I do when I see him flirting with other people when we silently chose to act like nothing happened. It was a dumb decision, we were drunk.”

“You don’t know how he actually feels, En, you really should talk to him. Maybe he's hiding the fact that he isn’t actually over that night, either. You know he’s good at putting on a brave face.” Hongjoong added. 

You bit your lips as you thought about what Hongjoong had just said. It’s true, maybe he did feel the same way about the situation. But, it seemed like when it came to sex and romance, neither of you were great at communicating and just decided to shove the feelings down instead. “Maybe you’re right,” you said. “Since Yunho and I started hanging out one on one over the summer, I swore I was getting over Wooyoung until I saw him again.”

“Did you and Yunho ever… You know?” Hongjoong asked, and you knew exactly what he was referring to.

“No, we only held hands sometimes. I thought how I felt for him was purely platonic until I heard from Seonghwa that he had started seeing that sophomore a few weeks ago.”

“You know they broke up, right? She was just using him for his money. He was pissed when he found out. That’s why it only lasted a couple of weeks.”

“I knew they broke up,” you confirmed, “but of course, seeing him all over that girl in the kitchen tonight isn’t helping me feel any better.”

Yeosang and Hongjoong nodded, unsure what else to add to the conversation. It was pretty clear you needed to figure out how to address your feelings, and that wasn’t something they, unfortunately, could help you with.

A few moments later, you saw San approaching the three of you in a rush. “Guys,” he shouted, nearly out of breath, “some freshman is throwing up all over the bathtub, can you please help me out?” He begged.

Yeosang and Hongjoong looked at each other, then let out a gagging sound before agreeing.

The party was hosted by Yeosang at Slytherin, thus his responsibility, but he’d be damned if he had to go through that situation alone. Plus, Hongjoong’s healing abilities would make cleaning the mess up much faster. “We’ll catch you later,” he said, giving you a quick pat on the back before dragging Hongjoong along with him to follow San towards the bathrooms.

You stood there for a moment, allowing your thoughts to wonder while the music tempted you to sway along with it. You didn’t see Wooyoung or Yunho in the kitchen anymore, nor the girls, so they must have moved elsewhere. You felt sick.

“Hmm,” a voice hummed beside you. Your trance was broken, trying to ignore the fact that Jongho was now standing in front of you, along with Mingi. “Must suck, huh? Seeing your two boytoys with other girls,” he taunted. 

“What do you want?” You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms.

“Nothing,” he sang, “I was just observing this whole time.”

“And why is that?” You scoffed, “You hate me, Jongho, so why are you watching me tonight?” Mingi smirked beside him, anticipating the potential drama to unfold. He enjoyed a nice cup of tea. Jongho’s face became unreadable for a moment. “And how do you even know about them, anyway?”

“Yeosang talks too loud. His bedroom is far from mine, yet I can still hear him yapping away with you on the phone at night.”

You groaned, mentally facepalming yourself. You weren’t mad at Yeosang, you already knew this about him. But, you were a bit worried if Jongho would say anything to Wooyoung and Yunho. Despite his hostility towards you, though, he didn’t give you the sense that he’d be one to reveal someone else's business. Mingi, on the other hand….

“Don’t,” you seethed, pointing harshly between the two of them, “say anything to them, got it?”

“And what happens if we do, princess?” Mingi provoked.

“Mingi, I swear to god if you say something.” You were gripping his collar at this point.

He laughed, removing your hands from him. “Alright, alright. I won’t. I look forward to seeing how this plays out, though.”

You pushed past him, making sure to shove him with your shoulder in the process. “I need another drink,” you mumbled. The kitchen was empty at this point, all of the guests were either smoking outside on the balcony, overcrowding the common room, fucking in a bed, or sick in the bathrooms.

“En,” Jongho’s voice sent chills up your spine. 

You finished pouring your double shot of vodka and downed it quickly before turning around to face Jongho, slamming the shot glass down onto the island. “Can’t you just leave me alone already?” You groaned, “I’m tired of you coming at me all the time. I have no idea why you dislike me so much.”

Jongho’s expression seemed to alternate between remorseful and aggravated in a blink of an eye. “Maybe if you weren’t such a bit-” he cut himself off as a few random students entered the kitchen, laughing loudly. Jongho moved over to you, swiftly taking your hand and pulling you upstairs.

“What the fuck is your issue?” You spat as he closed his bedroom door behind him. While you were grateful to him for bringing you to a quieter place, the fact it was his bedroom made your blood run cold. Never did you expect to be alone with your sworn enemy in their room.

“Just let me explain,” he began to say, before wincing. He groaned, reaching his hand up to his head. He was clearly in pain.

Your resentment towards him melted away, “Are you okay-” but only for a moment.

“I’m tired of you acting like you’re so high and mighty because of your family,” Jongho was back to acting like his usual, shitty self, “waltzing in here, stealing my friends…” He had you backed up against the wall, and you were annoyed at how aroused you were beginning to feel. You weren’t even sure if you hated him mutually, but you certainly weren’t a big fan. Anymore, anyway. “Yeosang and I used to be so close, until you showed up,” he was so close that you could feel the heat of his breath on your face. Then, it dawned on you, what Yeosang had said earlier about getting under one to get over another. With the alcohol now pulsing through your veins, your guard was down. You didn’t care that the man in front of you despised you. Besides, you’d heard that hate fucking made a good time. 

“Jongho,” you said, “can you fuck me right now?”

“What?” His eyes were wide, not taking them off of yours.

“I said,” you closed the gap between the two of you, “can you fuck me right now?”

“Why would you want me to fuck you?” He was genuinely confused, but couldn’t deny how hard he was getting from your initiation. “I hate you, remember?”

“That’s exactly why I want you to fuck me right now,” you replied, causing Jongho’s brows to furrow even further, “we can put the adrenaline pumping from our anger to good use, don’t you think?”

He stood there for a moment, unable to move. At that point, he was just as horny as you. He exhaled, allowing his primal instincts to take over. “Fuck,” he growled, dropping his hands to the sides of your head and pulling you closer to him. Without another word, his lips met yours hungrily as he gripped harshly at your hips. You knew about his superhuman level of strength, and it was enticing to experience it under these circumstances. He picked you up and pushed you against the wall and you swore you heard it crack. You wrapped your legs around his waist as your fingers ran through his hair. You moaned, his mouth exploring your neck. He continued leaving a trail of hickeys as his hand found its way under your dress. Quickly pushing aside your panties, his fingers gingerly met your clit and you inhaled sharply. Suddenly, you were lying on your back in his bed as he hovered over you. He helped you remove your dress before inserting two of his fingers without warning, a loud mewl escaping from your lips. 

“Oh, fuck,” you winced, simultaneously feeling pain from the lack of time to adjust and pleasure of his fingers curling against your sweet spot. 

“I do hate you,” he said in between kisses, “but, god, have I imagined fucking this pretty pussy of yours.”

You screamed as he removed his fingers hastily, replacing them with his cock. You were so lost in the sensations he was creating that you didn’t even realise he had undressed himself. He threw your legs over his shoulder crossing one arm over your ankles to keep them there whilst he wrapped his hand around your neck with the other.

“Jongho,” you moaned, beginning to squirm beneath him, “please,” you begged, “more.”

“Are you sure?” He asked.

You were surprised he asked you such a question. Though, at this moment, you didn’t care if he was nice underneath all of the mean exterior. You just wanted him to keep pounding his hatred into you. You nodded, biting your lip as another groan slipped out. “You said I was a bitch, right?” You taunted between moans, “so fuck me like one.”

Jongho wasted no time as his pace quickened, the sounds of his body slamming against yours echoing throughout the room. “Fuck,” he groaned, “you’re so tight. Has no one been fucking you lately?”

“You already know this,” you sneered, gripping the wrist of his hand around your neck harder as you yelped, his cock continuing to pound against your cervix. “Have you forgotten our conversation earlier?”

Jongho pulled you up, his hand reaching behind the back of your head so he could grip your hair and keep you upright pressed against him. “I thought bitches always got fucked?”

“They do,” your eyes began to roll, “that’s why you’re fucking me right.” Jongho’s thrust began to get sloppy as he began to reach his peak. Low grunts fell from his lips, harmonising perfectly with your higher moans. “Make me come like the bitch I am.”

With that, he gathered up all the remaining energy he could muster to finish both of you. His face was so fucked out as he felt you squirt all over his cock, pulling himself out quickly to spill his hot seed onto your stomach. He collapsed beside you, tiredly reaching for the packet of wipes on his night stand. “Here,” he breathed heavily, handing you one, “to clean yourself up.”

“Thank you,” you exhaled, still coming down from your high.

“Jongho?” The two of you sat up abruptly by Seonghwa’s voice coming from the other side of the door. “Are you in here?”

“Fuck,” Jongho muttered, running his fingers through his hair, quickly picking up your clothes and tossing them towards you. “Closet,” he whispered, quickly trying to redress himself and look presentable before opening the door.

You quickly pulled your dress over you as you shuffled into his closet, trying to keep your breathing inaudible.

Jongho took a deep breath before opening his bedroom door to meet Seonghwa. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Mingi is looking for you,” he said, glancing around the room. He could sense Jongho wasn’t alone. “Are you with someone right now?”

“No,” Jongho answered a little too quickly.

“Right…” there was an awkward pause before Seonghwa continued, “well, like I was saying, Mingi is looking for you. I’d rather not have to send him home with Hongjoong pissed, so hurry up.”

Jongho nodded, watching Seonghwa as he walked down the hallway to return to the party. He slowly closed the door, allowing the breath he was holding in to be released. “Fuck,” he muttered.

You wobbled out of the closet, “Do you think I’ll be able to sneak out of here?”

[drdonogood]

Yes hello I'm hear to listen to your yaps about J&H plz

OMG, HELL YAAAHHHH ok swag. So. Drawing randomly from a hat, some various ideas of mine- My AU/ideas are mish-mashed from some of my favorite Jekyll and Hyde adaptations. And some of my own ideas stitched in. (I'm also putting it out there that this AU has no name yet, and I would love suggestions from anyone) also of there are any typos i'm sorry. This is half word vomit and there are only so many times I can re-read it.

> Other monsters and gothlit bullshit probably exsist in my universe. I just haven't thought enough about it.

> Jekyll is right-handed, Hyde is left-handed. They both have a mole in the same spot under their left eye (his left your right). Hyde's veins look green through his skin- Aaand Hyde vaugly looks like a more feral, compact, and fucked up version of younger Jekyll. These are the absolute basis/my fav JnH ideas I've seen around.

> In that recent Hyde Shitpost, you may notice that he is covered in blood. This is because the pressure of condensing into a smaller body shoots blood out of his face. (There's a lot less blood when turning into Jekyll. A super bad nose bleed- At worse some ear bleeding?) It's kinda like the fun glowing mysterious green goo you see in a lot of adaptations. And I almost went with the green goo too. But decided on blood with freind input 😭 This also means that they have low iron and Jekyll is prone to fainting. (Jekyll has always been a bit of a stress fainter though...Hyde is a bit too energized to faint easily but he might)

> I think I've mentioned it here a little- But my Hyde has a tendency to....eat things that are inedible. Raw fish and rocks and paper and dirt and wood. His stomach acid is strong enough to digest small rocks (because this freak's biology is FUCKED)- anything heftier would be a problem. But it still makes Jekyll... a little ill in the morning. I had the thought that maybe this was because Jekyll had suppressed Pica and it presented itself hevily in Hyde? But I haven't developed that idea too much.

> Hyde has thicker, denser bones. Which helps with his "Amateur Parkour Hobby" (aka: His compulsion to jump and climb on everything like a little freak) He also has beans little callous spots on his hands that help him grip things better! .....beans. sorry.

> Hyde's eyes look like they are void black- but if you shine a light on them, they are iridescent green! Bright lights also seem to bother him quite a lot, and he doesn't like being out on sunny days.

> Jekyll's body was slightly changed/modified after drinking HJ-7, so he has a few toned down physical aspects of Hyde's. Like sharp canines and sharp nails (that he frantically cuts down every time he wakes up) and fucked up eyes and even some of the weird biology stuff (Like the digestive thing, faster heart rate, lower body temperature, slight aversion to light ect. Just not AS much as Hyde has it)

> Jekyll and Hyde don't technically age. Their bodies turn back to the day they took the potion. If one of them was stuck being physical for an extended period of time- they WOULD start to age. But it would be reverted the second they transformed. BUT physical injuries only get slightly healed. So they can't just ITV heal injuries by transforming. It helps! But not entirely.

> Hyde HAS to be let out. It causes major problems if he isn't. He gets VERY stir crazy and it effects the both of them negatively. Physically and mentally. It would eventually trigger an involuntary transformation. And Hyde would be a bit fucked up. Likewise, Hyde uses up too much energy just by existing to stay out for days on end. He has to get back in eventually or else. Yk. Involuntary transformation.

> Also Hyde is biologically both sexes. Something something representing the aforementioned Jekyll closeted Tfem stuff that probably won't ever be addressed. He wouldn't care what pronouns you called them but. Obv victorian era everyone uses He when they see him 🤷🏻‍♂️.

> Depending on how long he gets to live (no set plot so him Jekilling himself could or could not happen) Hyde does infact develop a consciousness. Or...His consciousness develops....Or something. Idk how to describe it in such few words. He's definitely starts off distinct and split enough. But Hyde doesn't think about the nature of his existence or Jekyll all that much. He's clearly far too caught up in the joy and rush on being alive and experiencing things. If he exists for long enough, he will eventually have a pretty bad existential crisis. Bro realises that he thinks, therefore, he is. He'll get better, though. And probably be better off.

> Jekyll and Hyde don't find out until way later that they can see each other and communicate and all that regular fanon stuff. (And even still it takes a long and stubborn while for Jekyll to realise just how conscious Hyde is). They CAN make each other KINDA feel a weird sort of Phantom touch. They can see eachothers apparitions. And maybe the non-physical one can see things in a room even when the physical one isn't looking at it. But that's the extent of their interaction with the real world if they aren't physical.

> I'm not a big fan of Hyde being a serial killer type malicious evil guy? He dosen't represent evil obv. Im much more into that TGS style Hyde characterization. But then again, I don't have a set plot, and the idea is fun sometimes. Like he still has the capacity for murrder.... Maybe as a side AU for my AU. I think reasonably he wouldn't be- and at most kills Carew randomly during an emotional outburst. I do think that Hyde likes to start bar fights and beat the shit out of people, though. He loves the rush of being punched but isn't very happy on the very off chance that he doesn't win. Maybe he isn't evil, but that guy is a freakish asshole. And a bit of a man whore.

> This is my friend @ilovebeesandallthat 's fault. But Jekyll is one of those old people who go CRAZY for the holidays. Like he tries soooo hard to be normal about Christmas. He is not. Jekyll isn't the type to throw big parties (attend them? Maaaybe. Host dinners for his friends and colleagues? Definitely. But throwing a big party? Eeehhh-) And yet every year, high society gets excited for Jekylls' yearly Christmas party. Unfortunately, Jekyll's insane Christmas spirit has pierced the soul of our poor London's night Incarnate- and dragged him down to the hellish depths of Holly Jolly Christmas insanity. I fear both Jekyll AND Hyde turn into the most disgusting Holliday feinds the second it turns midnight on November 1st....

> Oh yeah, also because I'm an unoriginal TGS AND TMA fan- Hyde will sometimes refer to himself as "London's Night Incarnate." Beacuse, I thought it sounded like just the sort of thing he would think was cool.

> Lanyon and Jekyll's families were very close. They both were born and grew up in Scotland (Scottish Jekyll truthhhh sorry). They moved to England for university, and for the first chunk, it was them against everyone else. But then Jekyll started hanging around this 'Utterson' guy and started speaking in an English accent and started being uber charismatic with everyone- and it very much bothered Lanyon. He still stuck with Jekyll- but this is what started the strain on their relationship. Lanyon did end up being close to Utterson. But now his relationship with Utterson is better than his relationship with Jekyll....

> Despie all that- Sorry folks, Lanyon is the token straight (I HAVE joked abour him being a Henriel fudanshi though lolll. He loves the drama). He has a wife named Lindsey (she's a nurse!), and they love each other very very much (even though Lanyon is a grumpy ass stubborn old fart). They have 2 adult kids who have moved out and live elsewhere but visit as much as they can. They had a Scottish wedding, and Jekyll was the best man (even though Lanyon considered making it Utterson out of spite...he had to keep the family peace). Utterson also got to be there.

> Lucy and Emma exist in this world, too! Beacuse I like them too much to leave them out despite my beef with the musical and my more book based ideas. Emma is a...bit less developed. She's a wee inspired by some stuff I have seen about Hyde and Seek (the MazM spin off that I haven't played yet). She is Jekyll's ex-fiancé. She left because- despite how much she cared about him- his work was clearly too much. And honestly, she was a wee bit scared of it and how...weird he would get about it. She just couldn't take it anymore and knew she deserved better. Even despite not getting married, they act like a divorced couple on the off chance they cross paths. BUUUUt they still care about each other. Just...not in a romantic way anymore. And they kinda have their own lives going on. She has a husband now and some grown kids! She hasn't been in London so...she actually doesn't know what's going on with Jekyll. Maybe she finds out later, ooooo.

> I probably won't delve TOO much into Lucy's character as much as I could rn. I have...a LOT I could say about her. I'll save that for another post since I'm tryyying to not prolong this and also keep it at least a little on the topic of JnH spesifically. I always thought that if I *did* have an adaptation of my AU- she'd be either the main or a frequent POV. She isn't a love interest or a victim of Hyde. In fact her and Hyde are kinda besties??? She's like a middle ground between ITV/TGS Lucy and musical (which I haven't yet watched ITV but have been infodumped about it) She meets Jekyll...somewhere idk- and has an interesting philosophical conversation with him. Which is a cover for her pickpocketing him. He is...well aware that she is doing so- but doesn't say anything about it. Much like in the musical, he gives her his card and tells her to keep in touch if she ever needs anything. Later down the line, she gets approached by a weirdo in a bar who yaps her ear off about the most ridiculous things. She keeps expecting this guy to ask for her services and get this over with- but he never does. And she keeps seeing this guy day after day- until one of his yap sessions goes on so long that he's just following her home and yapping (you can probably take the hint that yes, this is Hyde). And now she's starting to realise this guy isn't threatening- he's just weird. And probably not human....and maybe even a tad bit endearing? Mostly weird, though. And now he Kimmy Gibbler-ing his way around her apartment in the middle of the night. Crawling through her window when he feels like it to hang out and show her gift her all the cool new trinkets he has stolen and raid her fridge and bring her dead things. And she starts to appreciate it beacuse it starts to break up her monotonous and depressing daily cycle. They take care of each other and it's nice (once again- can get more into it in another post)

> Hyde is a disgusting little slime ball who is somehow always covered in filth and grime. Lucy fucking hates this.

>Hyde has an accidental common theme of being a Devil-On-The-Shoulder to more than JUST Jekyll. He tends to bring out the most weird and hidden sides of people- which is....fitting considering what he is. It's something that happend accidently as I was thinking of character interactions- but something that I think is really really fun....

ANYWAY THAT'S ALL FOR NOW- MORE LATER.....MAYBE 🫡🫡🫡

[dolphingirl1234]

welcome to the first headcanons post in what will hopefully become a series unless my brain randomly decides to hyperfocus on something else

starting off with our favourite traumatised polar bear...

IT'S CAPTAIN BARNACLES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!! 📣✨‼️

please enjoy my shitty picrew human version of him

gonna be honest I hate this one he looks like my dad when he was like 12

imagine him looking like this but way older

anyway headcanons:

30-mid/late 30's

idk if there's a name for this one but is sexually attracted to females but romantically attracted to males

has never dated because of this and has no desire to

he/him

he was the last of the crew to actually recognise his sexuality

everyone came out to him and he was like inwardly homophobic because of the way he had been brought up, but made a notebook full of everyone's pronouns and stuff so he could remember, and never did/said anything homophobic to anyone else - kinda like Imogen in heartstopper yk

dark brown hair that's kinda going grey on the sides

grey eyes

always has eye bags because our boy does not sleep

he's not that strict on uniform - there are random clothes that tweak plonked the octonauts logo onto and that's what is considered uniform; everyone is allowed to wear whatever they want as long as its appropriate and has the logo on it somewhere.

basically always wears the same thing because the entire world will fall apart without his routine

played candy crush once in an ad and loved it

he secretly plays it on the web bc he can't admit to himself that he likes it enough to actually download it

everyone has called him dad at least once

gets fathers day cards from everyone every year

^^ has cried from this on multiple occasions

doesn't get sick often but when he does he is SICK. the second he wakes up his face is grey and pale and he physically cannot speak without coughing

peso makes him go to bed and when he eventually agrees he sleeps for like 2 days straight and is then immediately better

he tells kwazii off for being reckless but he's done some pretty dumb shit himself

will sacrifice himself for anyone and anything (has been told off about this many times and still continues to do it)

he and inkling are the only people in the crew who like dark chocolate

absolutely despises anything sour

his pain tolerance is very high

likes mint and will casually go to the garden pod and eat it raw

has claustrophobia (canon)

also has emetophobia (look it up) because I like projecting

once you've looked up emetophobia come back and read the next one:

when he was a cub and was learning to catch and eat fish he threw up after eating one particular fish and every time he sees it in the sea he will literally hold his breath and run away

he's actually very good at modern lingo and memes but does not understand for the life of him what a skibidi toilet is

sees peso as his son and will literally protect him with his life

other crew members have various mental health struggles and barnacles is genuinely so proud of them when they do anything that's hard for them even if its just surviving the day its so cute

he hasn't experienced the things the others go through but he has so much empathy and pride for them its insane

gives the best bear hugs and when he gets sad all he wants is cuddles but he's too scared to ask anyone

natquik and kwazii are the only people who have seen him have a full breakdown

if you've had a bad day he's your guy he will pick you up and cradle you like a baby no problem

on his birthday he literally gives zero fucks about presents but is insistent on getting/making really goof presents for everyone else

he has the deepest voice ever. and he's not terrible at singing either but he never sings. ever.

the accordion secretly pisses him off as well and he just keeps playing it because it's an ongoing joke and he doesn't want to ruin it

his paws are MASSIVE.

that's all for now I hope you enjoyed your exclusive look at Zoe's Headcanons TM I probably forgot some so you might get some more later 👀

[apocllipse]

bakugou taking you shopping and spoiling you 😫

you sent this months ago, m sorry for getting to you so late but life happens so i hope you understand

pairing: rich bf! bakugou x fm!reader

word count: 628

he will he will !!

doesn't see the point of having so much money if he can't even let his partner have fun with it.

yk those tiktoks of guys taking pics of whatever their partner touches on the shelves while shopping?? yeah he's that bf EXCEPT he put them in the cart immediately instead of taking a pic 😩 you might have to physically put them away yourself if you don't actually want it cause he thinks you're just saying no to save his money and shit. will pout and glare at you the whole time you're emptying the cart from things you actually don't need.

"why the fuck did you take out 14 items from the cart" he huffs while pouting

"'cause i don't need 7 kinds of mascara and 7 different kinds of eyeliner!"

also asks you to make a pinterest board of the style you love recently to help you pick out clothes while shopping. if he will be overseas for some mission and he sees some accessory or some certain type of fabric or dress that you had saved in your board he will buy it on spot. at times you may forget what you had saved in that board but he will 100% remember it just to have a chance to come across something you love and spoil you.

"didn't you save this top on your board"

"huh?? i did?? omg babe you remember!"

"course i fuckin' do baby, gonna tell you if i see something else from there again" HEART EYES FRFR

clings to your waist when you're looking through clothes and whispers what he thinks in your ear.

"hmm think this will go well with the skirt i got earlier, right?"

"yeah, it's so hot baby, you will look so good, always do my pretty baby"

he will catch you holding two things and contemplating which one to get cause you love both of them and he will just come over, grab both of them and put it in your cart. it always leaves you speechless.

never lets you contemplate, if you like two of them you get two of them.

if you like six of them then you get six of them.

"which one do you think look better suki?"

"s' hard to decide for you baby, everything looks good on ya" grabs both of the dresses you'd just tried on that you were holding in your hands and puts them in the cart and looks SOO proud while he walks away with it and you just stand there like 🧍🏻‍♀️😦

looks for chances to take you shopping, he's just so desperate to show you his love in every way. it's the weekend? how about going to the various brand stores and look what's new and perhaps let your big rich bf get it for you? holiday? shopping. festival? shopping. made plans to go out with friends? how about getting a new outfit for that day!

he will also hide the price tags with his hands if you keep looking at them. let's say you love this dress but by the fabric of the dress alone you can tell it costs enough to not have a second thought before dropping it.

"looks so pretty baby, let's get it"

"-but it looks a little too.."

he sighs as he takes the dress from your hands and you both look at the price tag, your eyes almost pop out of their sockets at the big bold $80,000

"i thought you said its expensive" he scoffs as he walks ahead with the dress in his hands and an arm circling around your waist and you're just left looking up at him with your jaw kissing the core of the earth.

rich bf things 😮‍💨

tagging: @iiilovemilfs @katsukis1wife @beanieesbnha

drop your @ to be added in my taglist !

[idyllic-affections]

together through thick and thin.

summary. their love for kaeya was not conditional. trigger & content warnings. depictions of burn wounds, canon-typical ragnvindr family drama, slight violence. tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. hurt/comfort. kaeya & ragnvindr!reader, implied venti & ragnvindr!reader. 1.3k words. they/them pronouns for reader. author's thoughts. soul crushing angst is my favorite kind of fanfic! just kidding. im sensitive and i like hurt/comfort more than anything... can you guys tell i like kaeya more than diluc? anyways the reader is an anemo user in this fic because... anemo users and their, ahem, issues, if yk what i mean......

       Freezing drops of rain pelted painfully against their skin, piercing the raw flesh of their various burn wounds like little knives.

       Fuck, it was cold and hot all at the same time.

       Unsteadily, their trembling hands drew their coat closer to their body as they darted towards Mondstadt City. They winced as their charred fingertips brushed against the fabric, choking out a whining sob at the shock to their overworked nerves. Pitiful shivers wracked their form; whether that was because of the raging storm in their head or in the skies was debatable, really. Perhaps it was the consequence of both. Perhaps it was simply because of the severity of their burns. They couldn't be sure.

       What they were sure about, however, was that they needed to get away from Dawn Winery.

       In that moment, they couldn't care less about the way their brothers had so desperately tried to stop them from running off. One thing they couldn't possibly handle right then was looking into either of their eyes.

       (Though, their reasons for not wanting to look at each brother were different—very different.

       They couldn't bear to look Diluc in the eyes because how could he dare to raise his blade to his own brother? His own—formerly—visionless brother? How could he bear to hurt him like that, knowing that there might've been no effective way for Kaeya to defend himself, had he not received his Cryo vision at the perfect moment?

       Moreover, how could Diluc bear to hurt them like that? Mentally and physically, he'd created wounds that would leave lasting scars on their young body and mind.

       Their burn wounds throbbed.

       Wounds caused by either element littered opposite sides of their body, but only the Pyro burns still stung. That fact indicated that Diluc had struck with real, furious intent.

       Kaeya did not, however.

       The ice burns barely ached, while the fire burns pulsated and seared and sent chills up their spine with every movement they made. Diluc had struck with the intent to seriously injure, perhaps even... neutralize—they couldn't think of their brothers killing one another; the simple thought made bile climb up their aching throat—Kaeya.

       That was why they couldn't bear to meet his eyes.

       On the other hand, they couldn't bear to look at Kaeya because they knew that the moment they did, they would burst uncontrollably into tears. He'd suffered so long, keeping a secret like he had, only for Diluc to attack him so cruelly when he decided to tell the truth and confide in someone he thought he could trust?

       Admittedly, Kaeya's timing was beyond awful—who reveals a secret like that immediately following their father's death?—but still. He deserved so, so much better.

       They would face him first when they felt ready to.

       He needed to know that at least one Ragnvindr still loved and trusted him wholeheartedly.)

       Times like these were those that made them grateful for their Anemo vision; there was no way possible that either brother would be able to keep up with them, regardless of how injured the youngest Ragnvindr was. They would always be faster. However, the rain paired with their wounds did slow them down just a little.

       Being an Anemo bearer meant being agile and fast.

       They were very thankful for that.

       The Mondstadt Cathedral was already within their sight. Briefly, they wondered how fast they really must have been running to make such distance so rapidly, but they shook the thought off almost instantly. The blinding, pulsing teal light emitted from their vision was enough to give them a clue.

       Perhaps Lord Barbatos looked upon them with sympathy, for having one's father pass on only hours before a brutal, irrational battle between their only remaining family was quite possibly the hardest thing a teen their age would have to go through. It was something they would never forget, something that would permanently change the way they saw the world. Perhaps he recognized that.

       Perhaps he had spared them the strength they needed to get to Mondstadt City safely without collapsing. They liked to think so; any little crumb of comfort and safety they could latch onto was something they would not pass up on. In their fragile state, they needed everything they could get. If Lord Barbatos was watching them in these horrible moments, then they were safe. They were comforted. Regardless of how silly it might have seemed to some foreigners—Mondstadters knew well that such behaviors were normal and common, regardless of if they were rooted in faith or not—they had been whispering their sorrows to the wind since they were little. Some nights, they were lucky enough to hear gentle melodies carried on the breeze as an encouragement to go on.

       Surely, they thought, those occurrences were not simply a trick of the mind. Based on what they knew, compared to some other deities...

       Lord Barbatos was a gentle god, an Archon of his people. They wholeheartedly believed that.

       Their teary eyes flickered upwards as they approached the Cathedral, pounding their less injured hand against the doors.

       The response they got was almost instantaneous, and upon seeing them, the sisters were absolutely petrified. What was someone of prestigious descent doing in a state like that? Why were they not at Dawn Winery? Why had they run all the way to Mondstadt City?

       Shaking, soaking wet, with wounds that only seemed to ache more as the adrenaline left their system, the youngest Ragnvindr child was rushed into the welcoming warmth of the Favonius Cathedral for immediate treatment.

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       The silence was heavy and thick as their wounds were treated.

       "What happened?" Grace* inquired sweetly, hand tenderly tilting their chin so that they'd meet her gaze when they didn't reply. They absently leaned into the comfort of her touch. "Young Ragnvindr? Darling, what happened? Where did these wounds come from?"

       "...I don't really want to talk about it," they murmured in a whispery voice, eyes fluttering shut. The exhaustion on their face was blatant. She hummed, thumb brushing over their cheekbone soothingly.

       "I understand."

       The tense air seemed to thin out slightly, and they sighed. Most of the other sisters had gone elsewhere by then, which they were grateful for; the quiet was much appreciated. Muffled tapping of rain against the roof and stained glass windows was the only sound occupying the space (other than Grace's heels clicking as she began to put the spare medical supplies away—she'd have a certain Hydro user evaluate their condition the following morning). It was calming in its own way.

       Their heart leapt into their throat when the doors slammed open.

       There stood none other than Kaeya, drenched and panting.

       "Sir Kaeya!" the woman called frantically, rushing to his side to shut the doors before turning to him in search of any wounds. All he did was wordlessly brush her off.

       Earlier, they'd assumed it was physically impossible for them to cry any more, yet their eyes began to shimmer with the sheen of unshed tears upon his entry.

       A pathetic sob left their lips as they reached out in his direction, only comparable to the way would reach out for him or Diluc when they were small and had a nightmare. "Kae— Kaeya..!"

       The pulsing ache in their entire body made it so impossibly difficult to stand. A pair of strong arms caught them before they could fall when they did make an attempt to. He frantically pulled them close, one hand cradling the back of their head as if they were the most fragile thing to ever exist while the other wrapped securely around their waist, supporting the entirety of their weight.

       They tucked their face into the crook of his neck, hands pressed against his chest, and they sobbed. Incoherent apologies and declarations of love and trust spilled from their lips. Archons, what even were they apologizing for? They knew that they had done nothing wrong, and yet a heavy sense of guilt weighed on their chest.

       Kaeya only hushed their cries with such love and tenderness that it was clear he understood what they wanted to say.

*grace is a nun npc in mondstadt who can be found in the favonius cathedral at night. she is described as motherly to children who lack a parental figure or figures in their lives.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[itsaspectrumcomic]

man ok idk if youll be able to advise on this or something but like. do you know anything regarding dealing with like internalised ableism?

i live in a rural part of ireland, right? and idk what it is about rural ireland but some of the people are heinous. my school is in a small miserable-ass town and like. God, man. not everyone sucks, of course but like. jesus lol additionally i have a ~mildly ableist~ mother (a "we're all a little bit autistic" and "erm. youre not disabled because youre not in a wheelchair or blind/deaf" etc etc type stuff. + "npd = bad person" which isnt particularly good for me specifically because i have npd (that i both Cant get an official diagnosis for, for various reasons, and im not really Looking for one either because i know what i am and its not like you get support for it because ~ooh scary narcissist~.)

and like. idk if this is Obvious but that can kinda cause a weird-ass relationship with You (being Me in this case, yk how it is with the second person perspective when. ranting) and The Concept Of Being Disabled. like, objectively. im disabled. im autistic, ive definitely got adhd (that im hopefully going to get examined for at some point cause college stuff requires it for the disability forums and stuff. gotta love that. fuckin 80% comorbidity right?), ive got a laughable number of repetative strain injuries, i have a sensory processing disorder, an endocrine disease that effects my Entire cardiovascular system, a spine that felt a lil quirky and bent in too much. so on a so forth

but also like. it feels wrong to call myself disabled. yk, like im doing a disservice to all the other ~actually~ disabled people (being Anyone but me lol) (none of this is At All helped by the fact that my mother refuses to listen to me regarding Jack Shit about my health in Any way. "oh you nearly passed out on top of a hill because of your cardiovascular condition? erm youre just not exercising enough actually" "you dont have depression [said while i was filling out an assigned mood diary after being forcefully brought to camhs for Reasons" like. shut the fuck up and Listen to me please. at least Entertain the idea that i could be right about something for fucking once lmao. cause ive been right about EVERYTHING regarding my mental health so fucking far so. fuck off /nay ofc) (also man. like, even if you ignored the physical issues ive got im still disabled on account of being autistic. like, motor function is fine, despite being a lil clumsy and/or unsteady sometimes but like. my emotional needs are Fucked. think of the response youd get if you asked a. fuckin. 8 year old or something to do algebra. but with a very emotionally stunted and traumatised 17 year old lol. lmao, even /lh)

so like. if youve got. any advice or whatever on any of this thatd be Super cool + no pressure obvs. sorry this is a whole. like. fucking essay's worth of Random Guy Complaining To You On The Internet lol

-🐢 <- just so i can find this again if you respond. i Like Turtles. i am Normal about the tmnt and also turtles The Creatures. i wont talk at length about turtle mutant anatomy (i am deceiving you)

Internalised ableism is a really hard thing to deal with, especially when you're surrounded by people who constantly re-enforce it. I've also spent a lot of time worrying that I'm not disabled 'enough' to deserve certain accommodations, that I'm making an unnecessary fuss. But the truth is, autism IS a disability and if there are accommodations that can help support you, you deserve access to them. You're not taking away from others with disabilities by advocating for yourself.

It's taken me a long time to understand this and I still worry sometimes. What has helped is talking about my experiences with people I know understand, like my therapist or best friend, and learning about the experiences of other autistic people through books, social media, YouTube and even real life.

I'm sorry your mother and others aren't being understanding - remember that's a them problem, not you, and try to spend your time with people who do understand.

🐢🐢🐢 <- the turtles wish you luck

[themothmancassettes]

Augh so over on twitter and in the official vast error discord, people have shown interest in my evil ellsee/elleon au so i thought id make a post about it!! For the sake of this post, its more of a tldr/ref post about the au!! ^^

In essence, my au is essentially what if Ellsee tried to do an essential ritual midgame with the corrupted version of her book and it went Horribly Wrong(tm) and got her corrupted by Gaiaeon?

Thus creating: Elleon

WHO THE FUCK IS ELLEON?

Elleon is the result of that ritual gone wrong. She is essentially Ellsee, but corrupted by the Naught Father but with insane powers. His corruption is NOT a possesion; more like an infection. Her biggest changes is in behavior and appearance- at the end of the day, they're still Ellsee.

Elleon cannot use her staff; it was made for followers for Khepharia, so when a being corrupted by Gaiaeon tries to use it, the staff renders itself unusable.

The corruption gives her powers similar to the Gaiaeon, the most distinct being the power to influence, but not directly take control of a person. While under the Naught Father's influence, Ellsee’s frustrations are heightened, her impulse control is frighteningly low, and they're much more likely to act on their intrusive thoughts. Think of Gaiaeon's corruption as a parallel to Grimdark, but more fucked up looking. Elleon is completely unaware of her power to influence and completely thinks she's just more persuasive than previously thought.

Elleon is extremely bitter about all of the misfortunes they've endured, from Murrit's various murder attempts to Arcjec's amnesia to Occeus ignoring them, anything bad that's happened to them is all the more reason to go apeshit. Everyone who has hurt her WILL pay the price, and so will anyone who stands in her way- especially Murrit.

NO ONE GETS TORMENTED MORE THAN MURRIT HOLY SHIT. This is because her crime is by far the worse than the others. At somepoint, he attempts to kill Elleon again and all it does is piss them off bc yk. God Powers. It doesnt work.

Thus, the cast is divided- those Elleon is able to get on her side via Gaiaeon's influence (think spreading the infection, but to a much lesser extent), and those on Murrit's side, who wants to stop her and save their session. Those under Gaiaeon's influence are much less tolerant of those who have wronged them, so who better to convert to her side first and become her partner in crime than Calder Kerian.

Team Elleon: calder, dismas, albion, eventually sova and serpaz

Team Murrit: laivan, occeus, jentha, taz, arcjec

Team murrit largely spends time trying to get in contact with Khepharia (occeus+laivan), and jentha getting her radiation powers back in hopes to even out power. It doesn't work.

Important Note: those under Gaiaeon's influence via Elleon do not have powers nor any physical changes. They do, however, have a dark green haze over their pupils. This is moreso for artistic purposes to make it more clear who is and isn't under Gaiaeon's influence.

Calder and Elleon enter a moiraillegiance, becoming the best worst evil duo ever... until Elleon burns down his planet and he realizes this isn't what he wanted.

Calder in this AU is exhausted beyond belief from the pressures of his everyday life and wants it to end. When Elleon approaches Calder, they're on a cliff overlooking the Depths (angst writers, you're seen and Heard here). Elleon promises to make things better for the both of them and get his revenge. Because his planet is a hiding spot that Gaiaeon can't see and by extension, Elleon is weaker there, so she burns it down to give her opposers nowhere to hide. This act is Calder's breaking point, causing him to realize this isn't what he wants for anyone, let alone them, thus causing him to switch sides and help take her down.

Ultimately, the group who takes Elleon down is Arcjec, Occeus, and Calder, potentially Taz too but I don't have strong enough opinions on pitch Tazsee to include that canon ship. They play into Ellsee's true desires (occeus paying her attention, reconnecting with arcjec, etc), and with the help of Void Powers, get them back to normal. She does get knocked unconscious though from how much Elleon took out of her and is scarred to shit (ellsee 🤝 hunter: getting scarred to shit by evil thing)

For Calder angst likers, Calder does end up getting the blame for like. Most of Elleon's bs and saying the ritual went wrong because he was the last one who spoke to her before the ritual. (He told her to make the right decision as a form of encouragement bc in the situation, the ritual WAS essential but Ellsee was having doubts. Neither had anyway of knowing this would happen.) Ellsee clears his name when she wakes up and finds him on the same cliff as Elleon met him on and I'm leaving it up to yall whether or not she makes it in time ;] (personally, i love happily ever afters just as much as a destating loss, BUT. since calder is a cc of mine i lean fake out, looks too late, but he's actually fine and calsee win!)

Any specific questions about my AU, I'll happily answer!! My inbox is always open! I do have more specific notes on ellceus, sovalbion, dismurrit, jenthmas, laipaz, and some other stuff I couldn't fit in this post + I'm working on some more designs for the cast! That's all for now! Thanks for reading<3

Please credit me if you use any of my designs/concepts! My blog may be small, but this au is very personal to me. Thank you!

[checkadii]

i see ur tags. rubs my gay little hands together. please discuss ur tma au (also ur writing is superb very evocative we love vash and his uncanny-ness)

I opened the ask while going down the stairs and almost tripped I’m ngl . ANAYYAS. YOU BOTH

IVE JUST BEEN HAVING LIKE. A RANDOM SPUR OF THOUGHTS ABT IT . Abt the possible setting mostly

Okay

Cause like,,, WE HAVE TALKED ABT THIS BEFOR EI REMEMBER YOUR REBLOGS REESE if we’re thinking of the au taking place . A LOT of the characters have high potentials to be slaughter avatars, especially those in the ghg and that’s just. Simply because on no man’s land violence is just expected, especially with a profession they have

So. A more,,, “normal” setting could open for possibilities. Normal as in “modern” even though trigun takes place in some fuck off future far from ours I’m pretty sure😭 Like . Say Midvalley. Slaughter w the guy who plays MUSIC? ANDDD USES IT FOR VIOLENCE? That’s a pair baby!!

Put him in a relatively safer world where the ghg aren’t a group of assassins but something else. maybe they don’t even exist. Where he’s just some guy.

The way we view fear in tma is somethjfn to think abt, heavy on avatarhood here, I like to think of it as like,,, fear has dug it’s claws into you, has become you / one with you / overtaken you whatever, and now you have to live with it, and the avatarhood is how you cope with that, what you choose to do with this fear . Does that make sense. a mark is the trauma be it physical or mental, and Becoming is wielding it, maybe accepting it intimately

So, say. Back to Midvalley right. What do we know of him other than this violence. That he was a killer way before the ghg. What other than the slaughter. We have widderwally nothifn

WHICHHH IS WHY ITS SUCH. A THING TO THINK ABT! On a setting that isn’t no man’s land, and a “modern”/“normal” setting that doesn’t involve the ghg being assassins, what can he be! What can any of the characters be! What can we take from their character and personality and gauge a fear that could be their drive that doesn’t stem from survival! (I think buried web Midvalley might be cool tbh . no I can’t elaborate)

Milly and Meryl being eye-hunt is. Well. Points at them and their entirety. Mostly to me is that what they do well, but I really want to think about what could’ve made them become, does your main fear have to be the thing. What am I saying

Like mike. Our pal mike crew our buddy our chummy guy. He was mainly hunted by the Lichtenberg spiral figure right. Like yes he was struck by the vast but . Gragh I hate that they’re categorized like that when they are technically one

Also. Snort. Janemike appearance

Anyways . I lost the plot in my head ERM

Milly and Meryl being eye hunt …. They can be archivists. Together. As a treat I think. Imagine them being archivists in any setting pspsps

They both are witness to the various bullshit on Vash’s journey, have seen sorrow, pain, enlightenment, god knows what, destruction. They have also seen happiness, comfort, calmer times. Rare as it can be. They’ve seen secrets shared histories laid bare they’ve made themself present for a LOT. witness . eye. yk. does any of this make sense. also fits w their reporter occupations

the hunt part,,, well. they’re constantly on a trail, right . constantly chasing after a target (cough) . And that could be played into the eye’s tendency and urge to know, but their synchronicity i think is also important,,, they’ve got each other’s backs and know this, able to cover up where one falls short (like that time! W that guy who straight up tried to kill vash! And Meryl was held at gunpoint very unimpressed then Milly shoots her stun gun!) Peas in a pod, a pack, stronger in number. That kind of thing!

Also because. I think Milly’s scary perception CAN BE A THJNG. IT SHOULD BE. PELASE. and her monthly (POINTS AT YOU REESE)!!! Little reports, documentations . In a way!!! ya know!!

whichiswhyeyehuntissuchacombo.ok.itslikeapackagedeal

okay buried wolfwood. Loud wheezing

Once again, if we throw away the eom and ghg. Wolfwood would grow up relatively . Aight. to just Be some guy . All of these characters could! Without the constant fight for survival and constant high stakes most of not all of them would straight up just. Chill. Mostly. Probably. Idk. They literally could have the potential to be marked by ANYTHING and become avatars of ANYTHING at that point. Maybe. IDK

Buried wolfwood … burdened and chained down by fear, by his mission, drowning in the sticky river of the blood of his targets … he plays the devil. yk. while his heart cries out. his shoulders are heavy with a role a mask a title he does not want but his feet are planted firmly on the stage he has been set on . Boxed in. Midvalley and Hoppered went against their role, and they ended up. Well. Not well! He knows he’s stuck

The Punisher weighs on him, his sins, his wrong doings, all the things that he fiercely believes can’t be redeemed, and he doesn’t try to claw his way up and off and out the stage, he lets himself sink deeper into it, clings onto it even, because if he does otherwise, then. What else does he have, right?

Buried because HOOOWEEE I think buried mark works well for him, and Buried because being an avatar of the buried works. Vibes I’m going off vibes I’m afraid. I also really love the buried SHOUTOUT TO FOREVER DEEP BELOW CREATION THE TOO CLOSE I CANNOT BREATHE I LOVE YOUUU

And now that he’s been dragged even deeper because of his mission to escort vash. Yea. He knowsss there isn’t an outttt of this . He’s deep in both his belief, and his torment . I need to furiously throw something at him

VAST DESOLATION VASH TIME EVERYONE HEAR ME OUT. OKAY

wow we’ve gone from “I’ve been thinking abt the setting” laid back leaning against my pillow to “OKAY CHARACTERS” locking in leaning forward I’m

Again. It would be silly to think abt how not having factors like the general plot of the manga or being put in a normal setting would change what avatar he could be . Because w/o finding out about Tesla, the story wouldn’t have been as it is right

But like. It is what it is so. What is it. Take a shot everytime I say is. That’s another shot

The vasts whole gig involves the fear of insignificance, of falling, of areas or things you can’t quite navigate or comprehend, of heights, depth, infinity, the ocean, the open waters. right. Idk I’m like constantly cross referencing the wiki for both tma and trigun LMAOO I think the buried and vast should kiss (grabs vw

The way characters reacted to vash being pseudo immortal —

Oh my god I’ve been typing for an hour. Okay. This isn’t even much I’ve straight up just sat there staring blankly at my phone doing nothing except moving to type for an hour okay

Right. When faced with something whose entire being is just so unknown, so incomprehensible to you, you can’t help but just . Feel sorta insignificant right . Cant help but wonder and think . Vash has that effect. To me. People who know of his true nature can’t even begin to fathom what he has seen, what he has lived through, what exists far beyond the scope of their human lives. His entire existence can’t be fully explained in words, experiences and memories simply too. badumtsh vast

ialsothinkthatarchivistvashwouldgoHARDletstalkabtthat

ARCHIVIST VASH. HEAAAR ME OUT. he’s literally a walking record of times past, of the history of gunsmoke . His instinctive goofy act and downplay of literslly everything about him, the fear of being perceived in ways that could possibly be used and turned against him rihjt.

He has encountered man at their highest and low, has been witness to achievements, to starts and to ends of all kinds of multitudes, has been the canvas to slaughter, has been the focus of eyes, the target of hunts, buried by the ideals he sworn to live by (WHICH . NOW THJNK ABOUT HIM KILLINF LEGATO. NOW.), he’s seen the darkest sides of the planet and man seen what lurks in the shadows, masters escaping because of the situations that became too much, finds himself on the brink of spiral and clutches onto that brink, walked a long lonely road as people come and inevitably go, found himself stuck in a web that he spun and that others spin, has found himself surrounded by destruction, desolation, the fear of his own flesh, of his own body, idkhowtoworkcorruptionintothis, the uncertainty of his own existence, an oddity, jsut soemthinf off, uncanny valley in a sea of faces,

OR SOMETHINF. I DONT KNWO

okay kicks archivist vash off the table back to vast desolation

The desolation part o think js. Pretty self explanatory. He is grief and destruction, is literally called the humanoid typhoon, diablo. Surrounding him is nothing close to semblance of peace and safety , the trail he leaves behind is naught but that of loss, promises of vengeance. Ig. Yk. Shrug emoji

Vash’s staunch pacifist nature clashes against this . Colossal all encompassing force that is him . Nuclear baby or whatever. I need to shut up

. Extinction knives ….

I’m running out of typing juice GELP

Knives’ actions that led to the great fsll is. Without the great fall plants would’ve probbalt not been exploited to the extent they were because people wouldn’t have been forced to run them to the ground while they scramble for survival on a planet as gunsmoke

In a way, the “end/extinction” of his plant kin was caused by him. which. is

right so we agree that knives anger and hatred comes from fear right. Like. It’s how he copes. What he chooses to do with this fear. channels it into a weapon

The discovery of Tesla ,,, do you think after waking up he thought about seeing vash in that pod . Or seeing his withered crumbling body broken into pieces through eyes that float outside his skull.

So. To protect those he love from that fate, he has to erase the other factor from the equation right. Change the outcome. Drastically

The great fall was a sharp veer off course for humans, and what follows is scrambling for order

Knives embodies the extinction by trying to change that order. I thjnk . Yk. I’m. Okay I’m actually out of juice my brain is slow like. Like molasses dripping off a spoon (said in Tommy Coolatta’s voice)

Team rocket is blasting off aga💥

[drifloonz]

Hey I love your writing I was wondering if you can do headcannons on Glitchy red finding a way out of his game too be with the reader?

hey remember when i actively did things here. i don't. Anyways [ tries to do that again bc i forgor and i feel bad abt staring at all of these asks for so long w/o doing anything ]

glitchy red finding a way out of his game to be w/ reader :]

headcanon style bc i am exhausted of writing and prob Will be for a while. at least w glitchy specifically. i hope this is good cuz' it's mostly me detailing my brainthoughts abt how glitchy could hypothetically escape in more detail.

♡ i like to think the reader in this case-scenario gives glitchy a much needed hope and desire to escape his game, which he didn't previously have bc he's definitely THOUGHT about it but he's like... too scared of change to actually try it despite how horrible his game is, i'd think. he's used to being constantly tormented and wouldn't know how to adapt. at least, that's the excuse he uses. he's also afraid that if he succeeded he'd literally glitch out of existence and "die" since yk, game glitches or characters aren't supposed to take physical form in real life because they're pieces of code.

♡ but once he meets you and you talk of everything in your world and you show him genuine care, you make glitchy realize he wants to be there and experience those things, and that maybe change wouldn't be so bad. after all, it'd definitely be better than the constant hellscape he's living in. even if he "died" in the way that he fears, it'd probably be better than living endlessly in his game. ...probably.

♡ as such, he tries to find a way to escape his game. the thing about that? way easier said than done. he has a lot of ideas, but a lot of them sound stupid.

♡ he still tries the stupid ideas because he knows full well that he himself is something that is not supposed to happen or exist, so he'd assume the games fucked up enough that the stupid ideas might also work. who knows. his existence isn't logical, him getting out of the game doesn't have to be either. that's his logic, anyways - it's not like he's supposed to be a physically existing being, either.

♡ some ideas he has consist of screwing with his weird dream powers, because he can usually affect peoples real bodies with them... so he can probably find a way to manifest through that, right?

♡ or maybe screwing around with the glitches in his game... a classic missingno to try and manipulate code, messing with the safari zones various quirks, hell, maybe he could break the game so bad that it somehow gives in to his desires and gives him an out through the broken mess of code while it collapses in on itself...

♡ he's afraid to try all of these because it'll probably make things way worse if it fails, and he never likes willingly interacting with the monstrous glitches in his game, but hey, you can't get much worse than the state the games already in. and if you can, he's almost definitely seen it, or seen worse.

♡ or maybe he could use a porygon...? but that'd be stupid, it's only code in a game, it couldn't possibly be Actually Able to do anything from being a pokemon said to be made from "programming code" could it...?

♡ ... which may or may not work. like i said, he isn't supposed to exist, but he does. any way he can exit the game can be similarly unlogical, barely explainable, and stupid, i feel.

♡ the most "logical" way to make glitchy a physical form is to make a robot that has a cartridge slot and slot it in and glitchys programming just takes it over and controls its autonomy and transfers his consciousness into it or something. but that requires you to have pretty deep knowledge of programming and AI and robotics for that to be executed well so. y'know.

♡ the other less logical way... but it still makes sense is like. him using someone as a vessel. he has dream powers. dreams are connected to consciousness, specifically your unconscious, and your thinking and your brain and stuff like that. if he cared enough, he could probably easily take over someone's entire - or most of - their body this way. although i do not think and also hope you don't have a human sacrifice laying around, and glitchy would not willingly take this from you either. even if it was someone who wronged him, he'd probably still feel too cruel abt it.

♡ it'd also probably have to have a very good antivirus bc i feel like inserting glitchys cartridge into anything has a possible chance to make said piece of technology fuck up real bad

♡ anyways.

♡ every time he fails or the method doesn't work out correctly, it pisses him off, but he's always been persistent. he treks forward even though it feels hopeless, sometimes.

♡ this quickly becomes a lesson in futility and he gets more and more frustrated every time he turns up with a failed attempt, and it sometimes makes his game even more glitchy and broken. but eventually. eventually he gets there.

♡ regardless of the way he gets out of the game, when he finally escapes and manifests in your world, he's probably just in your room or wherever you left the gameboy. or whatever you're playing his game on.

♡ he either crawls out through the screen, appears after a flash of convenient blinding light, or he forms out of glitching light from the cartridge or something like the cartridge is his gem from steven universe or something.

♡ maybe he'd still have to take a few days to gain an actual physical body in the real world, and he's basically a hologram or hallucination for a while. or maybe he can physically interact, but mostly just with your body and a few select items. he's also, as you can expect, still glitchy constantly IRL. maybe less when he's happy, but that never goes away. his glitches are like scars - they might get better and "heal" but they're always sort of there.

♡ i think it's also funny if before he gains the ability to physically interact he's basically only viewable to you for a while until he gains more physicality. he's using your subconscious to make him a form! by making you will his image into existence and into the collective unconscious!! or something!!! Nobody knows how the hell it works and it also depends on which way you think he would've escaped. highly interpretable and all that.

♡ regardless. he is mostly happy and safe and with you now. glitchy can be pretty smart and think quickly when he wants to, and this was a big example of it. he just really needs the hope and passion to drive himself forward, since he lost his hope and passion... prettttyy long ago, after his world got glitchy and broken. he didn't see a point to much anything and was very existential and all.

♡ so! you gave him that drive and motivation. not an easy thing to do. be proud of yourself. i hope you like him btw he's very clingy and won't leave your side for a good while.

[ritzcrackee]

april tbr post yayy

rereads are marked by a ☆, new reads are marked by a ♡, and new acquisitions are bolded

physical tbr: 20

what moves the dead - t. kingfisher ♡

an education in malice - s. t. gibson ♡

juilet takes a breath - gabby rivera ♡

stories of people and civilization, greek ancient origins - lindsay powell, j. k. jackson ♡

rebel girls - elizabeth keenan ♡

the silent stars go by - dan abbet ♡

touched by an angel - johnathan morris ♡

dracula - bram stoker ♡

dune - frank herbert ♡

dune messiah - frank herbert ♡

frankenstein - mary shelley ♡

sense and sensibility - jane austen ♡

hippie - barry miles ♡

evernight - claudia gray ☆

stargazer - claudia gray ♡

the handmaids tale - margaret atwood ☆

the testaments - margaret atwood ♡

aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the

universe - benjamin alire sáenz ☆

would-be witch - kimberly frost ☆

the ballad of songbirds and snakes - suzanne collins ☆

digital tbr: 2

pandora's jar: women in the greek myths - natalie haynes ♡

wild is the witch - rachel griffin ♡

read: 7

a million kisses in your lifetime - monica murphy - dnf

i got like 80 pages in and then just,,, could not continue. no shade if u liked this book it was just solidly, solidly not my thing.

my monster valentine - various authors - 3/5

debated putting this on here for obvious reasons but i neeeeed to be accurate i guess. i only read about half of the stories in this collection and they were pretty hit or miss. it was free though so yk. vibes.

high spirits - camille gomera-tavarez - 2.5/5

this book was pretty alright! i don't have much to say about it (hence the middling rating) but i would reccomend it if you're looking for a fast read :D

the coldest touch - isabel sterling - 4/5

THIS WAS SO CUUUUTTTTTEEEEE!!! i liked the way the author portrayed the genuine hell that being stuck at 17 would be. please get me out of here i want a fully developed frontal lobe. AW and all of the characters were super likable. truly so adorable i was squealing the whole time.

im knocking a point off for the romance being a littttllllleeeee rushed and the character descriptions feeling off (it felt odd that both pov characters categorized every single person into a specific race? i think its good practice to make a characters race clear, but idk if that applies to a random teacher with no dialogue). to be so real though i loved this book enough that it didn't bother me too much.

beastly & bookish - catrina bell - 5/5

did i finish this book in one sitting? yes. did i stay up until 1am doing that? ...mind your business. honestly, im maybeee being a little bit generous giving this 5 stars but !! i really liked it!!! rom was soo mecore. i'm excited to read the rest of the books in this collection (even though they're all christmasy), and i can't wait for my physical copy to get here!!

holly's unjolly christmas - lark green - 2/5

this book was truly just fine. like, the definition of pretty alright. the tropes weren't my thing and the romance felt wildly rushed, but the writing style was easy to read and there were some funny bits. i also felt like the demon characters fell pretty flat? idk felt mid overall. (tbh the highlights of this book were when rom and noelle showed up. my babiesssss)

holidays ablaze - lucy limon - 3/5

v cute 👍 i love samite he's so autistic 💗

last months goal: finish dune

hmm ok. so i did not finish dune. i don't know why i thought i could. whatever possessed me to believe i could finish an 800 page sci-fi book in one month was truly of the devil herself. what the fuck. that was a blatant temptation towards hubris and I FELL FOR IT. anyways i hit 300 pages. everyone clap.

this months goal: finish a re-read

i have a lot of books i'd like to re-read but!!! i just never get around to it!!!! there r always newer shinier books that grab my attention!! i'd also like to carve away a more sizable chunk of my physical tbr this month because i have officially run out of space on my bookshelf TwT. everything is so so crammed in there, i truly cannot afford any more physical books. public library here i come!!

[bookshelfdreams]

I posted 2,492 times in 2022

That's 419 more posts than 2021!

422 posts created (17%)

2,070 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@swords-n-spindles

@mikimeiko

@bookshelfdreams

@snake-snack-stede

@knowlesian

I tagged 2,449 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#our flag means death - 1,010 posts

#esc - 340 posts

#message - 101 posts

#crafts - 101 posts

#thoughts - 74 posts

#ofmd reader - 68 posts

#german stuff - 51 posts

#!!!! - 47 posts

#anonymaus - 41 posts

#fic - 31 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#baby. theres spinning wheels for over 1000€ what makes you think you're gonna be met with thousands of ppl starved for things they can buy

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

random ofmd thought: I love that Stede is so cringe.

He's just. Awkward. Ridiculous. Unapologetically weird at all times and he never gets any cooler. Every episode has at least one Stede moment that causes me physical pain and I love that.

Because usually, if a character is this embarrassing, their arc is about learning to be less so, to be like anyone else, to be more normal, and Stede never does. He learns to be more confident, yes, but he never stops unapologetically being his awkward self, and that's so good to see? He's fine the way he is? He doesn't have to become less himself, he just has to learn how to own it better and that's so healing to see

2,133 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

#4

ofmd reader

aka Holy Shit Everyone In This Fandom Is The Smartest Person On Earth

aka a collection of my favourite meta, feel free to add your own faves!

(note that most of these don't actually have titles, I just tried my best to sum up the contents)

✬ On masculinity in ofmd by @edwardsilkheart

✬ The different genres various characters are in, and how they clash and synthesize by @fuckyeahisawthat (THIS is required reading and the reason this show works so well, all these different & contrasting flavours combined into something truly delicious. If you read nothing else on this list, read this)

✬ yk that Stede didn't actually have an evil plan to leave Ed all along right by @polyamoryprincess (on what really happened in Stede's head that night)

✬ these two posts by @mikimeiko about Ed and the mortifying ordeal of being known

✬ How does Ed like his eggs? by @forpiratereasons (on mirroring, learning how to be yourself and self-acceptance as the path to true love)

✬ Listen, I know everyone and their mother disliked Ed without the beard but I actually loved it. by @ruletogether

✬ Izzy Hands and the tenderness of violence, directed at him but not perpetuated by him by @ellicler with additional tags from @knowlesian

✬ Another one about Izzy, internalized homophobia, and subtextual queerness by @knowlesian

✬ The thing that ACTUALLY made Stede run away by @quillyfied

✬ Ed and the language of face-touching by @amuseoffyre

✬ anachronistinc costume design as a sotrytelling device by @ambassadorquark

✬ The Bathtub Scene (analyzing Ed's body language) by @orangechickenpillow plus this follow-up. I also recommend their post on clothes sharing

✬ beard media by @all-chickens-are-trans

4,851 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

#3

Crocheted Important Blue Internet Checkmark. Because why the fuck not.

(Pattern under the cut)

See the full post

4,982 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

#2

A brief conversation I had with @mikimeiko on their lovely meta about the motive of loss and abandonment made me think about miscommunication some more, and how horrible Calico Jack was to Stede.

When Stede meets Calico Jack for the first time this is what he says to him:

Who's the big gal?

Off to a terrible start, and it only goes downhill from there.

As others have pointed out, this is a very mean thing to say in general and absolutely unacceptable to say to a queer man in particular, and Ed knows that. He's trying to do damage control

See the full post

7,364 notes - Posted April 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

oh but I adore how everyone in this stupid pirate show is just a guy

I haven't seen ppl talk about it much but. the absolute lack of shredded abs. people show tummy and cleavage and there's not the barest hint of muscle definition anywhere

obviously some of them are very fit but it never leaves "works a physically demanding job and happens to be naturally thin" territory

and guys are fat! guys have bellies and rounded shoulders and chubby cheeks and imperfect teeth and thinning hair and are styled weirdly (that's a whole different post but the crew especially look so unprofessional styled it's great)

and they are still all hot! they are hot and desirable and find each other hot and desirable and I love that

I love to see it! nobody in this show looks like they had a personal trainer. and not just the side characters, not just a token fat guy - obv Taika Waititi is the most beautiful man you've ever seen and that little bit of tummy pudge spilling out of his crop top made us all lose our collective minds. but it's everyone else too; and it's not the extend of it either. no other show would have let black pete within 10 feet of a romance arc, much less been this sweet and sincere about it

this show is so comfortable with the human body in all it's glorious imperfection and I am in love with it

29,716 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[annarendellsa]

my heathers headcanons

it's the way i see them and draw them, you don't have to agree! this is based on both the musical and the movie

CW: mention of suic*de and e*ting disorders (bulimia) as well as various mental illnesses

Heather Duke

• heather duke is aromantic and yes its because she wears green, have you seen her socks in the off broadway musical? /hj

• more seriously, she IS aromantic but it took some time for her to figure out. she is allo but she doesn't label her sexuality, and she was always confused and frustrated to experience sexual attraction but never romantic attraction; she had a hard time accepting this part of herself.

• post heathers: maybe she discovers about non binary identities and asks her girlfriends to test out they/them pronouns on her? idk? aro-agender duke?

• she also struggles with empathy as she is naturally apathic

• and she's putting this image of a cold mean girl because she believes she can only be that given she's aro and ND

• post musical: she had no idea mcnamara actually tried to commit suic*de and when veronica tells her she breaks down in tears and spend a few days writing an apology letter to mcnamara

• post musical: mcnamara helps her to develop her compassion, knowing it's not her fault she's incapable of empathy. she didn't have to forgive her, but they did, and it really motivates duke to become a better person and be as nice as her

• post musical: she sees a doctor! she eventually recovers from her bulimia. veronica and mac are 100% supportive of her recovery, and very proud

• she gets bigger as part of her recovery and learns to embrace it

• duke is very pale with really dark and thick hair and eyebrows, soft features and quite a lot of body hair

• you know the bootleg where duke has blonde hair? when she's on the tv she speaks german and i vibe with german duke now

• duke Cannot say fuck and if someone is prude/innocent/idk it's her. the why are you pulling my dick was just to fluster veronica i think

Heather McNamara

• they use she/they pronouns!! just because. she still identifies as a girl though

• mac is autistic of course, it's like semi canon in the musical

• since she's very tall (movie) she stims while standing like being on the tip of her toes or rocking back and forth and the others can be quite annoyed because she moves a lot but they never snap at her

• post musical: veronica finds her stimming endearing and they know it's safe to stim around her, especially since veronica stims herself

• post musical: mac hums as a stim too and you can often find macnamawyer snuggling on the floor while humming in harmonies together

• she used to mask a LOT and it played a big part in her depression. she knows they had to stop themselves from stimming when she was a heather, she had been the weird kid in middle school but now that chandler took her under her wing, she has to pretend to be NT in order to stay in the lifeboat (😭)

• she's a lesbian!! of course she is

• she knows it since she is in middle school and has been """gal pals"""" with chandler since them but she still struggles with it she has comphet yk, but still less than chandler

• chanamara definitely practiced kissing together "to be ready when we'll have to kiss boys" 👀👀👀

• chandler always had a soft spot for mac and tried to hide it by being cruel to duke

• post musical: it took mac some time to understand that duke had nothing against her personally. she was chill with them until chandler died. from that moment she had to prove herself as the new queen bee and mac was a collateral victim

• duke definetely gave her trauma though and mac is in the process of trusting her again

• mac themselves is not a cinnamon roll just yet and she still has to make up for what they've done to others

• mcnamara has nicknames like mcNcheese or macaroni (veronica came up with those)

• they're also a vegetarian and she loves yellow food

• like she ever only eats yellow food actually (autistic thing). that girl is deficient! part of why she looks that fragile and thin

• also i see mcnamara as mixed race with golden/light brown skin and they have this type of curly curly hair but she straightens it all the time so it's only just wavy (once again, to blend in with the heathers)

• her natural hair colour is actually a dark strawberry blonde? her dad is irish and he's a redhead that's why (stole this from @cam-eats-candles hehe) but she dyes it so it's lighter

• post musical: she starts wearing her natural hair!! and goes with her mom to the afro hairdresser to start to get her curls done right (cornrows mac!!)

• their parents divorced (movie) and it's for the best. mac has daddy issues and only goes to her dad to get cute jewellery for their girlfriends 💖 (he doesn't just sell engagement rings. a lot of regular expensive rings, really)

• she's not a baby, she's not weak nor completely innocent and pure!! the girl is a head cheerleader, she's strong and flexible as hell.

Heather Chandler

• heather chandler is Also a lesbian BUT she is on the ace spectrum like demisexual? so yeah she's double disgusted when she "sleeps" with men

• as a queen bee she's also convinced that the only way to exist is through male validation :(

• chandler is taller than duke and veronica but shorter than mac

• chandler's skin is like rosy and it freckles very easily. i see her with the same cloudylike hair she has in the movie, dark blonde, with the red scrunchie only holding back some of her hair

• she is Buff and is genuinely into sports (lesbian jock like regina george)

• she has a sharp hourglass shape her shoulders are broad and her legs long and strong. she could lift veronica against a wall easily. and she did

Veronica Sawyer

• ADHD!! she's been diagnosed for a while but only became medicated post musical

• bisexual!! so bisexual!! without a preference. she's always been open and proud about it and her parents are supportive

• for me veronica is brown, with thick and dark hair and dark brown eyes, midsize, average height

Martha Dunnstock

• that's canon i know, but she's fat, and not the socially acceptable-hourglass kind of fat. big arms! big tummy! double chin! (i see fanart of her just being chubby quite often and it's ANNOYING like that's a big part of her character)

• she's perfectly healthy like this as are many fat people :))

• i also like the hc that her attempt at sewer slide made her permanently disabled and that she keeps using a wheelchair! because it happens, it's important to show it, and it gives me a lot of ideas for cute kindergarten girlfriends prompts 💓💓

• of course realistically being fat AND physically disabled in the 80's was and is not an easy thing to go through but it's in my head so

• she's also a tiny bit taller than veronica

• i don't hate the outfit she wears in the off broadway show, but I like her west end outfit better!! it's a lot more 80's inspired and i totally see her in kidcore/clowncore etc, even if pastels are cool too

• in the current west end version, martha is played by a black woman and she looks amazing! however I've been drawing and imagining martha as east/south east asian, for no reason really?? also idk kinda rubs me the wrong way that in the more official versions of heathers it's always duke that is black, or martha? not the others? hmm

• i'm not comfortable with hcs that exclusively babyfy her or patronise her like a bunny rabbit just bc she's a fat outcast who likes unicorns!! she's not just cute and giggly! martha can and does swear and she Fucks, like mcnamara

• big round glasses + big nose + long brown hair

• taking inspiration from the princess bride line but she's a huge movie nerd. yes she loves happy endings but she also loves horror movies, as long as they have a happy ending

• she never gets a makeover omg y'all just hate people with glasses and a childish aesthetic istg

• she takes this aesthetic further though and

• post musical and high school: she doesn't just wear baggy clothes anymore as she only did that to prevent more bullying. she develops an unique style with a lot of pink and glitter and she's awesome

------

ok this is getting long ill probably do more!! tell me what you think <3

[bthump]

I wanted to touch on the whole gutsca thing with someone (I know zero people in this fandom so you're my lucky pick!). Am I alone in feeling like their first time together came out of no where? My meta with Guts is that he was not at all comfortable with sex at that time of his life (this instance being his first time [outside of the rape he experienced as a child]). His choice of words too, "here I go", translated to me like someone only doing what they felt was expected of them rather than something he was yearning for. He clearly wasn't even ready given how rough he was and how he regressed and attacked her. This moment seemed very forced and almost rang to me like Kentaro's declaration of "no homo though". I would be curious to know how Kentaro felt about homosexuality (bisexuality, etc) and if he ever addressed the ever blatant gay tension and romantic-non-platonic-love blossoming between Guts and Griffith pre-eclipse. I do get the sense that this may be a case of severe queer baiting or perhaps a PSA against gay love altogether ("falling for a man will literally destroy you and send you and everyone you love to hell" type of message); but I'm a very jaded person so I hope to be proven wrong. Sigh, my point being Gutsca seems pretty dang forced and empty of true development. I buy them more as besties than anything romantic. Especially since both he and Casca are actually in love with Griffith (what a fucking triangle!). Does anyone in fandom have any opinions on the sad possibility of this whole beautiful and ultimately tragic love between Griffith and Guts actually being a fucked up anti-gay PSA? Are there any interviews with Kentaro shooting this theory down so I can stop being sad and bitter about it? What are your thoughts?

Thanks for sending this, I'm definitely down to talk about it! I hope you connect with more people in the fandom but don’t worry about sending random asks even if you do lol.

Anyway you’re definitely not alone. I have a lot of thoughts on Guts and Casca's hook up, and they're all pretty much "it feels really forced and not particularly romantic but I think you can argue that that's deliberate" lol. For instance I discuss in a lot of detail here how various aspects of the scene indicate that Guts and Casca having sex is shown to be a case of both of them rebounding from Griffith and sort of giving to each other what they were unable or failed to give to him.

And I talk a lot about how Judeau essentially orchestrates it all and what that suggests about Guts and Casca's relationship here.

And lol sorry for all the links but also this post is about how their relationship feels one-sided to an extent and is used to illuminate a lot of Guts' flaws, using Judeau as a comparison point.

Oh shit and also one more lol, here's a comparison between the sex scene and Griffith's with Charlotte that suggests that both start as ways for the dudes to repress their feelings.

(Don't feel obligated to read all those posts if you don't want, you should get the gist of what I'm saying w/ those descriptions.)

But yeah basically I do think that Guts and Casca getting together felt forced and awkward. At best it might be intended to be seen that way, as two friends hooking up awkwardly in an emotionally intense moment but probably doomed to failure because neither of them are ready for a relationship with the other, or particularly interested in one deep down, once they finished "licking wounds." At worst it’s just bad writing lol. But again like I think there are good arguments for the former.

I also totally agree that their relationship has a strong vibe of doing what's expected. Like for real, at least to me both Guts and Casca read so easily as gay and repressed lol. Casca talks about her feelings for Griffith in terms of “he was a boy she was a girl can I make it any more obvious”

and I can’t help but see it as Casca like, wow I have strong feelings towards Griffith, he’s a man and I’m a woman, so clearly these feelings must be romantic, there’s no other option. Then when she has sex with Guts she keeps contextualizing it essentially as repayment for Guts saving her, like she owes him. “I too want a wound I can say you gave me.” “Not just being given to... maybe I can give something as well.” Which just doesn’t make her desire for him look all that genuine lol.

And then you have Guts. The way he tells Casca that from the start only her touch was okay with him after he has sex with her, referencing the scene when he wakes up with her on top of him and starts to panic before realizing she’s a woman, is soooo suggestive of repression to me. Like, first off because it’s incorrect, he was also okay with Griffith going in for a face-grab after winning a duel Guts had been projecting his rape trauma all over, which seems like a pretty conspicuous omission. And secondly because the reason he was okay with Casca’s touch specifically is solely because she’s a woman, not because she’s special or because they have a magic romantic connection - it’s because she’s not a man. To me that just screams that Guts was open to sex with Casca because she’s the only woman he knows, and he’s afraid of the idea of physical intimacy with men, regardless of what he might actually want deep down.

So yeah that’s basically how I feel about Guts and Casca’s relationship, strong agree with you.

When it comes to Miura’s intent, I can tell you that Miura was asked about the subtext in an interview once, back in 2000, and he responded with something along the lines of ‘two men can have passionate feelings for each other without it being romantic.’ The interview is here, but this is a paraphrase the translator mentioned in the comments.

Other than that I’ve never seen him address it directly, but on the flipside he has cited several textually gay stories as inspiration (off the top of my head: Kaze to Ki no Uta, Devilman, Guin Saga, mangaka Moto Hagio in general), and he has straightforwardly said that the (magical intersex) central character of his other work, Duranki, was intended to have romances with both male and female love interests. Also people tell me there are strong griffguts vibes with the main, presumably canon or intended-to-be-canon ship there. So there’s that lol.

As for the no homo aspect and the potential homophobia in the griffguts subtext... I can’t deny I’ve also considered the idea that it’s a deliberate anti-gay PSA (though I haven’t seen anyone else address the idea as far as I remember, and I’ve only briefly mentioned it offhandedly). Like, Guts and Griffith’s relationship turns bad because they’re both too invested in each other, maybe the barely-subtextual desire is meant to look like a sinister twisting of pure platonic feelings that ruins everything, if Griffith hadn’t loved him the Eclipse never would have happened, etc.

But honestly I don’t think that reading holds up compared to a much more positive reading of their feelings, in which it’s their failure to understand them and act on them, thanks largely to formative childhood trauma and self-hatred, that leads to tragedy.

I don’t know what Miura intended, and there certainly are aspects of the story that are homophobic regardless of his intent, even if my best-faith reading is entirely correct, like the only textual gay attraction being pedophiles and over the top heretic orgies lol, or yk, Guts and Griffith both assaulting the same woman while looking at/thinking about the other in a very sexually charged way.

But the reading of their relationship where it’s positive and good for both of them, even including sexual desire, and only gets fucked up because they both incorrectly think their feelings are unrequited is legitimately so weirdly strong, much stronger than a reading where the sexual nature of their feelings is what fucks everything up, so I’m pretty happy just rolling with that take.

And as much as Casca can be seen and may very well be intended as a no homo, it’s also very easy for me to read her relationships with both as less of a hopeful opportunity for positive heterosexual romance and more of a “here’s how repressing your feelings thru attempts at heterosexuality fucks you up” PSA lol. Griffith and Charlotte too, for that matter. It’s definitely a stretch to think that’s intended, but whether it’s intended or not it’s an easy sell for me and I’m fine with not really worrying too much about possible authorial intent there.

Finally, I also want to link this post that goes pretty thoroughly into why I interpret griffguts as very positive rather than as a cautionary tale or predatory gay lust etc

And also have this shorter post about Femto on the same subject too, why not

Oh and maybe this thing where I split hairs about Guts’ lust for Griffith and desire for revenge to make a point that the homoeroticism isn’t necessarily being equated with violence by the narrative lol

[theinkedfoxsl]

20-30 for doctor's orders !!

Ask Game

What are they like when sharing a bed?

Heidi just sleeps </3 she gets up really early for work and she's sleepy tired... Kinda touchy in the morning though. Beyond that she's a huuuge cuddler, prepare to be snuggled Miya. Who is better at games? Does the loser take it graciously? Probably Miya for any sort of video game tbh... Heidi is okay at some but not great yk? She's probably better than Miya at board games though lol old lady vibe Do they ever share clothes? Yessss<3 Heidi likes to lounge in Miya's clothing and she's said before her closet is always open to them too<3 Your OCs are on a trip and there’s only one bed! What do they do?

They've shared a bed before it isn't a big deal for them. But since they're on a trip, Heidi will stay up and talk quite late into the night. Just catch up on stuff. And probably also sex LMAO What do your characters think about marriage? Are they for or against it?

Heidi would like to get married some day, but she's not gonna push for it. Just a hope. Pick a physical attribute that they love about each other.

I don't really know what Miya most likes about Heidi tbh? but I know that Heidi really likes Miya's hair! catch her playing with it.. Do any of them have bad habits that the other can’t stand?

my lack of knowledge on Miya is showing right now. Idk what they'd be annoyed by.. Though I guess Heidi would get annoyed if Miya lied to her without a good reason. dont know if thats a habit though. Heidi is just a v open communicator so lack of communication kinda grinds her gears. Who is more down to earth?

They're both pretty down to earth but definitely Miya! Are they affectionate in public? Is it too much?

Yeah they're both affectionate. I don't think they're too much?? But I wouldn't be surprised if they both get more affectionate if somebody looks disgusted by them. (fuck you homophobes vibe) How are they affectionate in private?

Heidi is about the same level of affectionate, though she's more likely to be touchy. trailing her hand up Miya's thigh or arm absentmindedly, leaning against her, stuff like that. How does your OC react to being broken up with?

Heidi would be understanding and nice about it. But it'd break her heart, honestly. she'd probably end up calling Alee to come over and spend all evening eating various snacks and crying. He deffo brought alcohol.

[sweatytyrantwhispers]

Part 4 of things my friends do that make me love them even more:

- both rachel and cristine are artistically talented and i cant fucking wait to see them become famous doing the things they love (i know theyll becoem famous i believe in them tht much) (rachel has a great singing voice; cristine has a great singing voice, knows how to play various intstruments, loves acting, and can paint/draw amazingly)

-seth tells me some catchphraes his fav youtubers say whenever we talk

-none of my friends (nor I) knows how to react or what to say most of the time, especially when it comes to gift giving and compliments; we’re all oblivious and awkward people that don’t understand society

-andy messes up on what to say to customer service people when its evening/night time cus we usually go out around tht time but he’s used to sauing have a good day

-andy also hates intersections so he’ll pretend hes walking in the other direction (away frm the intersection), stand on the sidewalk and pretend hes doing something, or take a whole other route if theres a car nearing the intersection bc he says it feels awkward

-rachel’s favorite animals are dogs and raccoons so when i send her a post abt raccoons she gets rly excited and says she wants to hv a raccoon as a pet when she grows up. She also gets excited when i point out a dog to her in public (she cant see it cus no glasses but still excited by its genert presence)

-dina is scared of lightning so I always try to ask her if shes alright when theres a thunderstorm

-when we go to the park, rachel almost always tries to make tiktoks. We always end up interrupting and annoying her while she makes them though, sorta like our little routine.

-last time we went to the park, rachel ended up accidentally hitting meng and I directly on the face with the volleyball (its ok though cause im pretty sure we’ve ended up accidentally hitting each other with the ball at least once)

-when i got hit with the ball dina asked me if i was ok but as she moved towards me she went for the ball (we were playing monkey in the middle and she was one of the monkeys); its just funny and i love that our friendship is at a point where we could laugh about it and everything is fine

-i told my friends that i was depressed before going to the park to hang out w them. when i got there i kinda just sat on the ground looking through reddit with music on high. they all tried their best to talk to me and tell me funny stories (they said they overheard a group of kids talking about how they pantsed another dude) to cheer me up. Dina and Rachel both decided to give me a hug at the same time and i toppled over. Dina gave me a hug again. I love them so much

- Andy called me while i was in class to tel me to look at the sunset. Its something that both of us have done a few times because we both love sunsets and usually see them when we’re out. Its a small thing but it makes me love my friends even more.

-I was on voice call with Rachel on discord and she laughed then sent the group chat a link to a tiktok

-(not my friend but my mom) She knows that i hate it when things are thrown out when they’re still good or can still be repurposed. Someone brought flowers home for some reason (i forgot why) but she was putting the flowers in a vase one day. Some of the flowers broke off the bigger portion of the stem and couldn’t be put into the big vase but she put a bunch of them into a small container for me and gave it to me. I loved it even though we did hv to throw it out like a few weeks later.

-My friends and I were at Central Park and we were waiting for my two friends to finish up taking pictures. Meng and I were taking a short nap (him sitting down w his elbows on his legs and me w my head on his shoulder) while we waited. We also shared my earbuds to listen to my music. I was p sleepy so I was on the verge of sleeping my also sorta aware of what was going on (mainly cus we were guarding our stuff while everyone else was taking pictures elsewhere). I was doing that thing you do when you’re nodding your head while trying to stay awake/go to sleep. I kept on doing that until he eventually sat up a bit more and pushed my head onto his shoulder better

-Samir looked at a shirt with george washington on it and confidently said that was benjamin franklin

-Dina was talking about how she kept on eating shrimo and peanuts even though she has a mild allergy to it. Rachel and I were telling her to stop and tht we’re not bringing it to the picnic on sunday cus we dont want her dying. She responded, very confidently, tht she “hasnt died before”

-Samir calls dina “d-money”

-Rachel gave me a hug as an im sorry for taking so long. (I genuinely didnt care cus even tho they do take a long time i still v much love them)

-Rachel takes tiktoks and videos of us while we’re out

-Rachel and Dina both got v the excited when i wore a skirt out today because I usually dress more masculine

-A few weeks ago (i think) my friends and I were at the park. I was trying to do something to meng and tripped and fell on the park ground (the part where there’s basically a bunch of tiny rocks on/in the floor). Meng was also trying to do that thing where two people hold a person’s arms and legs and swing them back and forth with me but forgot that if you take someones legs off the floor with no one else holding my arms, i would fall head first onto the park ground, which i did. Both times I laughed at myself but everyone rushed to me while laughing. Idk why but it made me feel like I was ok and safe, even if i was in so much pain, srsly i couldve had a concussion.

- Rachel and I both got excited bc we both wanted to got to the same college

-I call andy when im walking home by myself at night (or when the route im taking doesn’t necessarily hv a lot of people of lights) and he just vibes with me (sometimes talks to me abt how i should b home) until i get home safely

-idk if i already put this but Andy and I have a safe word when we think there might be someone behind us following us at night bc one time when walking home we thought tht and used our now safe word to see if there was someone

-Rachel and Dina do this thing where they take their hand and go from the side of someone else’s body (where the arms are) to the bottom of their legs rly fast while theyre walking. They call it “full body stroke”. They shared it w me and now we do it to meng almost every time we go out. Sometimes we do it together (one person per side).

-While at Central Park there was a dude that was singing (he was rly good). He started singing “Lean on me” by Bill Withers and my friends started singing along with him.

-Rachel sent me a tiktok knowing full well that itd make me gay panic bc yk ✨w o m e n✨

-Dina, Alan, and I stayed out after everyone else went home cus yk they were tired. Dina and I decided to talk like white girls/pick me girls the rest of the night with their stereotypical voices. We laughed the entire time and created weird storylines including: Jessica (Dina), Olivia (me), Jayden (Jessica’s boyfriend and brother that created on Jessica with me and Nicole), Nicole (Jessica’s friend), Olivia’s dad (a convicted felon in all 50 states and is dead), Jessica’s dad (a lawyer that’s also running for president, and Alan (he was just roped into our bs and was there to act like the dude that we both wanted to have as our bf).

- When we were in the bathroom and washing our hands, Dina waited until after the other woman in the bathroom to leave before coming up to me and, in a discreet whisper, told me that the soap was what “good pussy sounds like”

- Rachel, Dina, and I saw a few cats on our way to meet up with Alan and we played w the cats for a bit before one of them said “pspspspsp come here alan” to one of the cats. We now do this frequently to each other even though we hate it.

- We have corrupted each other to the point where we cannot hang out without someone saying “that’s what she said”, something about Dina being white, “just like this dick”, and “deez nuts”. We laugh about it a lot

- Rachel and I are both reasonably out of energy both mentally and physically after our jobs so when I walked w her to a mall w the rest of her friends, we both walked silently with a bit of catching up cause we both understood how the other felt

-We had a water balloon fight today at work (Alan, Rachel, and I work together). Obviously, I took the chance to pop as many balloons over rachel’s head and dump water on her. She tried to spray me w water using a water gun though. Afterwards gave the towel i brought to rachel cause she needed it to change. It’s important to note that rachel has purple hair right now and that the towel was white. key word: was. The towel was now stained a light purple (I dont mind but damn)

- i made rachel a purple raccoon by crocheting it (purple and pink actually). I finished it yesterday (sunday) and gave it today to her at work (monday). I opened the door a bit and peeked my head in with the raccoon just below me in my hands. She was confused at first but then saw the raccoon and her eyes lit up. It was rly cute🥰🥺 to see her get excited. We both nicknamed the raccoon “pimp jr.” and i made a lil name tag/from to tag that said it.

- rachel likes to lip-sync to music shes either listening to or hears in store and sometimes does a little dance with it. Its so cute and I love looking at her do it because it reminds me of why I adore her. She also goes hard when it comes to singing at karaoke. Like damn her vocal range is astounding

- dina got so excited when i asked her if she wanted to binge watch all the twilight movies with me. She looked so cute cus its one of her favorite movies. ugh i love my friends.

-a lot of dudes have crushes on rachel and dina and the both of them usually just try their best to avoid the person or avoid confronting them. Idk why but it kinda makes me feel grateful that I’m close friends with them because I used to have a crush on both of them before when we first met. When I told them i used to have crushes on them they didn’t act weird about it or anything and we continued to be friends. I’m so fucking grateful I’m their friend despite my initial crush on them cause they’re two of them most amazing people I’ve met my entire life.

-rachel, meng, alan, and I went to go watch Shang Chi in movies. In the last few scenes (which were v tense btw) rachel nd I both got rly anxious and squeezed each others hands bc we were scared out favorite characters were gonna get hurt. She squeezed the fuck out of my hand to the point where I couldn’t feel it anymore and neither could she. I’m ok with that though cus I’m glad she finds comfort in squeezing the living fuck out of my hands.

-dina, rachel, and I have matching bracelets from hot topic and i see them wear it almost every time we hang out. Alan and I have a matching pair too but I dont think he’s going to wear it very much (issok tho).

-We went to karaoke yesterday and I dont know how I just realized this but while she’s singing, dina likes to move around a lot. It’s not exactly dancing but not particularly just moving around. Its kinda like that tiny thing ppl do when they’re alone and playing their favorite songs on blast. She’s so cute when she does it, esp because she seems so happy when she does it. Even though I absolutely despise Justin Bieber, I would play his songs over and over again on blast if it made her as happy as she has made me.

-dina and I like to go to the swings and blast “Happier Than Ever” with earbuds in (we share a pair for this) and she screams along to it for the second half

-it’s become a “tradition” for us to go to the swings (most of time) after we’ve done the initial things we already planned out because dina and I love the swings.