#and understanding their own anxiety

[javierduffy]

different.

[johnnyshrine]

★ 159 // “Mental Inventory Check”

[smileysuh]

tbh, I just got my work schedule, which is busier than I expected, and my mom is impromptu flying up to see me for my birthday, and my boyfriend's sister just gave birth so we have to drive hours away for a weekend to meet the newest family member-

So I'm super busy, and I think for my NCT fic this month, I'm going to revamp a story I wrote for a different fandom over three years ago 😅

I seriously don't have the time to write 2 fics this month, but I just edited the older fic and it took HOURS, and I'll write a completely new bonus for patreon so I think everything should be fine

[turtleblogatlast]

One of the earliest examples of Leo’s “I’ll do my own thing to accomplish our goal without discussing it with my team first” is in episode one. It’s super, super quick, and ultimately inconsequential, but it subtly sets up a great precedent that I think is very interesting.

When the boys need to grab the medallion from Splinter without Splinter noticing, Raph, Mikey, and Donnie huddle together with Raph taking the lead in trying to devise a plan to get the mystic device. Meanwhile, Leo slinks away and grabs the device by clocking the situation (by knowing his father well enough to predict his actions - something he does with each family member multiple times in the series) and making a move on his own.

It works out perfectly fine, and is ultimately the best move, and it’s honestly okay that he didn’t consult everyone for something so small when it’s such a non issue to get it, but it nicely sets up how this tends to go in the series, including how it goes in the movie.

To be honest episode one is actually really good at setting up a lot of things for each character in the long run, this is just one example that caught my attention, as small and unassuming as it is.

[unstatedmartini]

you guys do realize that canonically tk has never blamed his parents even tangentially for his addiction, right? you get that's entirely a fandom thing, right? there is no reason for tk to have blamed his parents in the conversation with the social worker because he doesn't blame his parents

tk definitely did experience significant sadness and loss in his childhood, and he has confronted both parents over the pain they caused him both when he was a child and when they've hurt him as an adult, but canonically he has never said or implied that he places any responsibility whatsoever on them for his illness. so please consider that it's also a form of ableism to insist that you can totally tell the obvious simple cause of someone's complex chronic illness and that they must be lying if they don't agree with you

[shannonsketches]

Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,

Anime:

GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)

VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!

Manga:

GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.

[itspileofgoodthings]

I love GK Chesterton.

[threegoldfish]

.

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Just a quiet little note to say I'm sorry if I haven't engaged in posts that a few of you have tagged me in - I've been having a tough week and haven't had the capacity to do much more than look at them. I appreciate it though and please don't stop just because of my silence right now 💙

[heartbeatbookclub]

I was looking at a few posts about autism (as one does) and it just suddenly clicked into place a fundamental thing about Yuri's character that I'd been grasping at, but hadn't really been able to adequately identify. I still have a much longer and more thorough analysis going through a whole lot of my thoughts on Yuri's character and her experience of autism that i'm working on (of which this will likely be a component), but I thought I'd share this separately just to emphasize.

Post I saw which made this click for me was making fun of the fact that most media depicting impaired empathy in autistic characters explicitly depicts them with this unflappable confidence of never having been rejected by people they love. The crux of this is that in actual reality, autistic people almost always have that experience at some point, for some behavior, for reasons they don't really understand. "There is an invisible line where people will get sick of you, and you have no warning of when you're about to cross it." So frequently, autistic people attempt to ride a razor thin edge, walking on constant eggshells to desperately attempt to avoid crossing that line.

Very often autistic people will attempt to avoid doing anything at all which could be considered weird, or off-putting, and will try their absolute hardest to do things in a way that is acceptable to other people, sometimes to the point of outright suppressing their emotions, because they are afraid that they'll say something just wrong enough that the people they care about will push them away, and they don't understand WHY it happened, but they know it's THEIR fault. Sometimes masking is fighting to appear aloof all the time because you can't regulate your emotions in a way that is acceptable to other people.

And holy fucking Jesus, that fits the exact mold of what I've been trying to talk about with the particular way Yuri's anxieties manifest.

It really feels to me like Yuri has this constant fear of breaking the "rules" of socializing, despite not really understanding what those rules even are. She's constantly afraid of saying something wrong, when she doesn't even know what wrong would be, she's just sure everyone ELSE will know it when they hear it. I think a huge part of her social anxiety comes from her own understanding of herself as a very weird person who doesn't really get a lot of how to socialize, and it seems to me like she's probably dealt with her fair share of social rejection and isolation based on those traits. She then felt she had to take responsibility for those traits, probably because it's the one thing she can change, and she is the one common denominator in all of these bad situations (This is something which is pretty common, actually! "Everyone else can socialize just fine, and I have so much difficulty with it! I must just be broken in some way. I have to try super hard to be normal to make friends!")

I think a big part of why it's so apparent in the Literature Club is because she really thinks she's found a place where she can make friends in spite of all of her issues, so when she starts...being herself, and receives even the smallest HINT of pushback, she overcorrects and tries to rein all of herself in to fix her "mistake", because she really wants to make friends here, and doesn't want them to reject her as well.

She's had this experience of others pushing her away for being weird so often that, coupled with her acknowledged trouble for reading situations, when anybody responds poorly to something and she recognizes it, she immediately overcorrects out of fear of being an annoying burden to everyone around her, and that "correction" consists of suppressing herself into being "normal" (or at least "less weird"), because she believes nobody could actually like her just for being who she is. There's something wrong with her fundamentally, and to make friends, for people to like her and want to be around her, she has to "fix" herself.

it's just, like...

it's really hard for me to interpret Yuri's character that doesn't involve her being somewhere on the spectrum, bros. she's written with such delicately constructed autistic coding, despite the appearance of just being a hackneyed weird girl visual novel trope. she deserves the world.......

[nenoname]

the stan twins both having giant egos juxtaposed with their crippling self worth and shame being a huge part of their lives...

[ventique18]

Just saw someone who said Malleus couldn't be an introvert because he wants to connect with others???? I'm offended because do you know what an introvert is? In fact, you could say he's a TRUE introvert because introverts are people who cherish their time alone, but do seek the company of others from time to time because they're aware they need it to survive.

Introverts don't necessarily like shallow socializing, but they like forging meaningful connections with the right people-- be it family, a good friend, or a lover. Introverts are just normal people whose social battery runs out fast, so they save it for those they deem special. Some introverts say they "hate" people because it's hard to explain the nuances, and would definitely be hard for non-introverts to understand, but they actually don't.

A common case of people who'd prefer not to meet others because it makes them uncomfortable are those with social anxiety. Not all introverts have this; Idia is an introvert with social anxiety while Malleus is a regular introvert. Idia, despite being a shut-in, actually doesn't hate people because he enjoys spending time with Ortho, co-oping with Lilia online, and playing board games with Azul.

People who honestly, absolutely DESPISE connecting with others? That is either a misanthrope, antisocial, or some other conditions I don't know the words for. Please do not subscribe in the insane notion that Malleus is somehow an extrovert for wanting another good friend or even a romantic interest lol.

[charleemoon]

OH MY GOD ADAM RAKI IS SO ME THEY WERENT LYING

[petrow1tch]

They weren't lying, this psychological recovery journey got hands

[streets-in-paradise]

My mom, talking politics even when i told her not to: THERE IS NO FUTURE!! THE COUNTRY WILL BE DESTROYED, NOTHING WILL BE LEFT!! ONLY THOSE WHO CAN LEAVE WILL SURVIVE!! AND WE CAN'T LEAVE, SO THERE IS NOTHING LEFT FOR PEOPLE LIKE US BUT ENDLESS SUFFERING AND DESPAIR!!

Also my mom: Why do you want to kill yourself, you stupid coward?

[phagodyke]

sick day today :-(