#and u know what i respect the right to have a loud ass function!! just slightly annoying when i can hear all of it...

[eriecanal]

freshman move in let alone regular move in hasn't even happened and the girl in the room next to me is already having loud ass functions...

[supermaks]

gentlequeers a short look into Johnny Herbert lmfao

This herb mf fascinastes me because he’s clearly besotted wid Verstappen on some old school level due to his driving and his general verstappen-ness but he can’t fucking get over that giant fucking chip on his shoulder that max 1) owes him nothing 2) isn’t British 3) prolly not particularly fond of him either.

Like every Max fan who heard about FIA giving max community service for swearing collectively turned to a camera like in fleabag to be like 😐 ‘Herbert was in that room’ it wasn’t even a meme it was just like. Of course he was .

And even in the statements he’s putting out defending that insane fucking decision hes still doing the usual Herbert ‘hot and cold’ shit wid Max like this is FROM his justification on the extreme nature of the punishment:

“That (swearing?) showed Max's rebellious streak. I love that side of him, it is what makes Max, his honest and outspoken character.”

This shit sends me out the stratosphere bro like he’s a FAN he a fan he fan he’s just fucking so British he can’t fucking function wid an shooter like Max that won’t ever put the Union Jack around his shoulders and tap dance for his side of the pond.

Same in Austria. Just an example . U go to Austria (hold my hand. Baby we must) where he was 1 of the stewards responsible for Max’s 10 second penalty in that contact against lando ((while coincidentally haha, not penalizing lando for going over track limits like 49 times before they had contact, then when he finally did he considered that time served post race and Lando never dealt wid those consequences during the race. Just wanted to . Say that 🫶🏽.)) but yeah this is was a penalty that was applied immediately without doubt and where the burden of responsibility regarding the crash was placed 100% on Max. About this decision Herbert said, freely, sober i assume, I swear I’m not making this up,

“That intimidation is something that Lewis [Hamilton], Michael Schumacher and Ayrton Senna have always done. When you come up against Max as he is driving today, there’s a point if you’re Lando that you have to say: ‘I am here. I am at your side. You are trying to squeeze me off the circuit. And I am not going to move.’

“Lando did the right thing. He did not move. He did not have to. Some people said he could have moved. But that is not how you beat Max or how you win the Grand Prix.”

So while the burden of contact falls 100% on Max and he MUST be punished for racing hard, Lando is doing the ‘right thing’ racing him hard to the point of contact and nearly taking them both out, because it means there was a chance of beating Max. Do you see how brazenly fucking biased that is? How one drivers hard racing must be stopped but another’s is to be celebrated and encouraged? I’ve talked Austria and the literal unhinged witch hunt that followed not just from fans but mclarens top bitches and the media in general at length before. And how it got so fucking bad drivers old, retired and very much active had to come out the woodwork like ayo y’all being weird now fr lmfao WTF is going on ((It was beautiful tho.))

I think Johnny .. like Nando once put it, kinda, paraphrasing 😭 became a cop because he cud not win a title. He was a good driver too, he won races, he’s one of the few loud voices in that room that has the credibility to back up his stewarding calls. But that doesn’t mean he’s objective, or even normal, when it comes to Max. In a sport that employs Ted kravitz and is proud of it Herbert might be the most deranged fucking person under contract rn. And as a max fan yk I have to respect the nerve . The commitment . But I’ll never respect the man, as f1 fan, not even as a max fan. And I think part of what’s pushed his decisions towards the extreme this past few years is that he knows that too. He knows , like the aftermath of Austria showed, like the whole circus in Singapore put on BLAST and made a fucking mockery of not just his lilly ass but the whole FIA, that Max doesn’t need or care for his approval. Max has his flowers. Herb just a cop wid a laminated card . And good for him yk. Keep fighting the good fight brother . Maybe you’ll get him one day

[fivelakesinwriting]

Drew starkey x reader where the cast is hanging out and swimming at the lake and it’s night. the cast notice the romantic tension between drew and the reader, they all slowly leave so they can be alone. Finally drew kisses her (can u do smut pls)

Hi, sweetness! I actually love this, so cute. And as a water girl/ lake lover, this is dreams.

Author's Notes: I just want to be friends with these people, so badly and this is basically one of my dream parties. And Drew Starkey can take me night swimming anytime... This one is long, but I think it's fun, it's flirty and I think it's kind of sexy. Please let me know what you think xoxo

Warnings: Swearing, Drinking, Sexual references - sexual innuendos (I didn't do full smut, sorry. But it's still fun! I do have an idea for a potential second part...)

Requested? Heck yes! Requests for OBX are open!

*My work is not to be transferred, copied, translated or reposted to any other sites without my permission. Please see my masterlist for all other works and warnings. Thank you! xoxo

It was the perfect night for a swim. The sky was so clear it was almost as if they could reach up, grab the stars and count them in their palm.

Instead, they all decided it would be the perfect night to have a fire on the beach to accompany their swim. Everyone packed a bag, a cooler and drove down to the beach.

Drew drove her in his truck, just the two of them, down the to beach. His windows down to let the late night summer breeze hit their faces. He smiled over at her quickly when her heard he laugh, her hands pushing her long hair out of her face as the wind created a tunnel in the cab of the truck.

"Windows up next time?" Drew laughed softly as he adjusted his hat on his head then made the turn to the parking lot for the beach. The lot was empty except for the few cars that were waiting for the two of them to arrive.

"No. I like it." She smiled as she twisted her hair and held it to the side while he slowed his truck down, then parked it beside Chase's car.

"Good. I like the whole windblown look on you. It's cute." Drew smiled over at her as he pulled the keys from the ignition and undid his seat belt.

"Says the guy who doesn't have to brush his hair." She replied as she unfastened her own seat belt, then followed his lead and hopped out of the truck.

"You made it!" Madelyn squealed with a slight slur, her arms tossed around her friend's neck, their bodies hitting Drew's truck with a soft thud.

"We were like, five minutes behind you." Drew replied with a laugh as he reached into the back of his truck to pull out her backpack and his cooler. He kicked Chase in the shin as the wavy haired man walked up with raised eyebrows and a cheeky smirk.

"I didn't say anything, asshole." Chase grumbled as he reached down to rub his bruised flesh.

"You thought it." Drew replied under his breath as he lifted their items from the back of his truck and started to walk down from the parking lot towards the beach.

Drew walked next to Chase on the beach, the two watching as Madelyn drunkenly grabbed Her hand, and pulled her down to the shore. An eruption of giggles filled the quiet night air as the cold water of the lake touched the tips of their toes.

"So, you two?" Chase asked as both he and Drew placed their coolers down at the same time. Each man opened the lids of their respective coolers and pulled out either a can, or a bottle of beer.

"Getting there." Drew nodded with a sip of his beer, and another adjustment of his hat on his head. He kept his eyes trained on the shoreline as Madelyn grabbed Her hips and pulled Her down onto the sand.

"Guys! Sorry, we're late. JD forgot that cars need gas in order to function. So, we had to stop." Rudy called from the parking lot, before he came running towards them.

"S'alright." Drew laughed as he hitched at the waist, reached into his cooler and pulled out a beer to hand to the blonde man.

"Are they drunk already?" Rudy asked with a point the girls who wrestled on the beach as he pulled the tab on his beer.

"Madelyn is, yes." Chase laughed as he pushed his hand through his wavy hair.

"Ladies!" Madison yelled as she ran as fast as she could through the sand, stumbling only once, to get to the girls who still wrestled on the beach.

"She's drunk, too. Shotgunned a beer in the gas station parking lot." Rudy snickered while he watched all three women hug on the sand with a raucous of giggles.

"So, we lighting this thing? Or are we going to stand here like creeps all night?" JD asked as he finally made his way over to the rest of his friends and dropped down a pile of fire wood.

The boys took their eyes of the girls, letting them play in the sand for a bit longer, and took to building the fire in the stone pit on the beach. Drew tossed in the match and watched as the flames began to burn up the newspaper used for kindling. He jumped slightly when he felt arms wrapped around his chest from behind.

"Did you bring my bag down?" She asked softly in his ear, the sand from her body falling onto him.

"Yeah. It's right by the cooler. Going for a swim?" He smirked as he turned his body slightly to look at her. If it was possible, her hair was even messier than it had been when the windows were down in his truck.

"Yeah! The waves look like so much fun." She smiled as she ran her hands over his shoulders then made her way over to her backpack and began to rustle through it for her bathing suit.

"First of all, where are you going to change? Second. You're going to freeze your ass off in that water." Rudy replied as he crunched his beer can, tossed it into the garbage bag already full with a few empties courtesy of Madelyn and Chase, then grabbed a full can.

"Question one. I will change in Drew's truck. Question two. You don't know my threshold for cold, Pankow." She replied with a skip in her step as she carried her bikini in one hand towards Drew's truck to change.

Drew flicked a stone at Chase who mouthed a less than quiet "go" at his friend as the woman walked away.

"To help her put on a bathing suit? I'm sure she's fine." Drew replied as he finished off his own beer.

"She might need help tying those strings, Drew." Madelyn stated with a sing-song in her voice, her shoulders shaking from side to side.

"Fuck you, guys." Drew scoffed as he stood up, tossed his empty can then made his way towards the parking lot with his hands in his pockets to sounds of whoops and hollers from his friends.

He walked up to his truck and vaguely saw the shape of her body move around in the back seat of his truck. He bit at his bottom lip, then ran his thumb over it as he leaned against the driver side. It took all his conviction to not steal a peak through the open window.

"Good in there, hon?" He asked softly, his hands still in his pockets as he kept his eyes fixed on JD's license plate across the lot. He would not look at her bare back as she tried to tie up her bikini, one hand holding the triangles of her top to her breasts while the other reached behind her to tie the strings.

"No. I hate these fucking things. Can you help?" She grumbled from the backseat, as she reached to open the back door and shifted in the seat so her back faced him.

"Sure." Drew nodded as his bottom lip made home between his teeth again. He took the large step forward to stand behind her then took hold of the strings to her bikini and pulled them tightly around her chest.

"Thank you." She replied softly as his fingertips brushed over the back of her neck and tied the strings in a knot, his hands lingering over her shoulders for a brief second.

"You're welcome. This is a nice colour on you." Drew stated as he hooked his index finger in the top string of her deep purple bikini.

"Thanks, Drew." She smiled as she sat up on her knees in the backseat and faced him.

"Lady! Are you coming swimming or not?" Madelyn yelled from her spot on the sand, her bathing suit already on which led both Her and Drew to believe Madelyn changed on the beach.

"Yes, Madelyn! I'll be right there!" She laughed while she pushed her hair back from her face.

"Tell Drew to hurry up with your bikini! It's not that difficult!" Madelyn giggled as she took a swig from a wine bottle before she took off back towards the fire pit.

"Don't say anything back. She's more wine than woman at this point. Come swimming with me." She laughed as she reached for his biceps as he held his weight against the door frame of the truck. She pulled her body up close enough for a kiss but didn't give him the satisfaction of pressing her lips to his.

"Alright. I don't need help with my swimsuit, though." Drew grinned as he pushed himself off the truck and walked back towards the fire. He let out a heavy exhale when he knew he was far enough away from her earshot.

Drew, Chase and the girls made their way into the brisk water for a nighttime swim while Rudy and JD chose to stay and tend to the fire. Chase let out a loud yelp as a wave rolled in, cold water reaching up to his chest.

"You're a baby, Stokes!" She laughed as she began to tread water, then make the few front strokes over to Drew.

Drew took hold of her waist then pulled her close to keep her above the rolling waves. Their height difference apparent in the water.

"It's fucking freezing. What are you? A polar bear?" Chase replied, teeth chattered as he wrapped his arms around himself.

"You have to go under! Otherwise you're just two different temperatures." Madison giggled before she dove under the water, her feet splashing water high above everyone's heads.

"No. Fuck that. I'm not drunk enough for this." Chase shivered as he began to make his way out of the water. He raised his eyebrows at Drew as he looked at the woman in his friend's arms, her legs wrapped around his waist.

"I'm coming, too. I need more wine." Madelyn smirked as she swam over to Chase, her own eyebrows raised up at Drew.

"I'm going back up, too. Rudy is ruining that fire." Madison stated quietly as she pushed her long hair back from her face, and made her way towards the shore.

"They're all wimps." She smiled up at Drew, her arms around his neck as they both waded in the water as a large wave rolled over them.

"I don't know, hon. It is kind of cold in here." Drew laughed with his hands on her lower back to keep her close. It was the closest they had ever been, with the least amount of clothes on.

"I think it's nice. And you're warm, so I feel good." She stated softly as she placed her right hand on the back of his neck, her fingertips twirling the hair.

"Don't get me wrong. I'll deal with this cold water if I can have you wrapped around me like this. I really don't mind it." Drew grinned as he wrapped his left arm around her waist securely while his right hand grabbed at her thigh.

The two of them simply waded in the water for a bit, wrapped around each other and in the sexual tension they had created. She kept her hands on the back of Drew's neck, occasionally twisting a bit of hair at the nape.

"Drew?" She asked quietly after a few moments of sweet silence between them.

"Yeah."

"Did you see anything when I was changing in your truck?" She smiled at him as she placed her hands on his shoulders, her eyebrows raised.

"I mean..I may have seen just the side of these." Drew replied as he tilted his head to the side, the hand he had on her thigh reached up to brush the underside of her breast.

"Drew!" She laughed as she tossed her arms around his neck and pulled him close for a hug, her legs tightening around his waist.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. You're so pretty." Drew smiled while he nuzzled his face into her neck and tightened his grip around her.

"I forgive you." She whispered as he pulled his face from her neck and looked into her eyes, his nose brushed against hers.

Drew muttered a barely audible, "thank you" as his adjusted his hold on her, both his hands on her thighs to keep her around him. He felt her hands in his hair, giving the slightest of pulls and the other shoe finally dropped.

Drew pressed his lips to hers, closing the tiny space between them. He released a sigh of relief through his nostrils while she whined ever so softly in the back of her throat. The kiss between them had been building for weeks.

They finally broke apart, but only for air. Drew gripped at her thighs while he peppered her lips with kisses. Her hands pulled at his hair as she tried to catch her breath again.

"Drew?" She asked between pecks on her lips.

"Yeah, honey?" Drew muttered as he kissed his way from her lips to her neck.

"Do you think I could steal a peak at you in the back of your truck? It seems only fair." She asked as she released a heavy breath, her hands on his shoulders as his lips created a seal on her neck.

"You can have way more than a peak if you want, honey." Drew grunted as he lifted her higher around his waist, he pulled his lips off her neck so he could look at her face.

"Okay. Will you take me back to the truck to get warm?" She asked softly, her eyes downcast to watch as her fingertips caught the beads of water on his chest.

"Thought you'd never ask." Drew grinned as he adjusted her legs around his waist, then began to walk them back towards the shoreline. He placed her back on her feet softly on the sand and gave her backside a nudge towards the parking lot before he ran his hands through his hair.

"Are you guys finally coming back to the fire?" JD asked with a raised eyebrow as he poked the flames.

"In a second, yeah. She's cold, so we're just going to sit in the truck and warm up. Change out of these swimsuits." Drew replied as he shook the water off his fingertips.

"Whatever you say, Drew." Madison grinned as she rolled onto her stomach in front of the fire and cracked open another can of beer.

Drew muttered under his breath as he grabbed Her backpack then made his way through the sand towards his truck - the back door open. He walked to the front end of the truck, dropped the bag then made his way around the open door where his heart began to race.

"You're naked." Drew stated flatly as he looked at the woman sat up in the backseat of his truck without her purple bathing suit, the heat of the truck blasting.

"Can't sit around in a wet bathing suit, and you have my bag." She smiled over at him.

"Yeah, but you're naked in the back of my truck." Drew smirked as he held his weight against the frame of the door, his eyes scanning her body shamelessly.

"Do you want to come be naked in the back of your truck with me, Starkey?" She laughed as she turned to sit up on her knees, facing him.

"Uh huh. Sure do." Drew nodded as he reached down to untie his swimsuit then tugged it down to his ankles. He climbed inside the back with her and shut the door behind him, leaving his swim trunks in the parking lot.

Please let me know what you think if you have a moment Thank you for your support! xoxo

Requests for OBX are open!

[givemethatgold]

Fix’er Upper Pt 2

Pairing: Eventual Frankie “Catfish” Morales x F!Reader

Length: 1.5k words

Warnings: Too many commas, some extra ‘u’s in words as I’m Canadian..., not enough time spent world building. Hope y’all got an imagination.

Notes: They meet! They meet!  (Tags at the end.)

PART ONE

The morning sun saw Frankie already awake and amidst his trees. He knew that most people thought him stubborn by wanting to run his little orchard himself. He had heard the whispers, seen the side glances, the quirked eyebrows. The odd reputation he was gaining was worth the solitude and peace he had found.

The reputation of Town Recluse was better than That Ex-Cokehead Murderer. A small part of his brain knew that he was being too hard on himself but a larger part was convinced he deserved it. 

So, he worked his penance here. Frankie nursed the trees back to fruition, his sweat and blood sacrificed to bring forth life; refusing to use pesticides or any form of agent that might harm another living thing. Deer, rabbits, mice, and bugs were the bane of a harvester’s business but Frank had decided to find joy in their presence. If he didn’t have to see another death until his own, that would still be too soon.

It had taken him three years to get anything more than a few barrels of apples. Most asked why he didn’t just cut them all down and start anew. They didn’t understand, hell he barely did, but in his soul, Frankie knew he needed to prove that he could do good. He had made his own baskets, built sheds, mended fences, and slowly built the business and a small loft for himself in the old barn.

Looking down the rows and rows of trees, Frankie was starting to get the feeling he might need help this harvest season. It wasn’t easy for him to acknowledge this but if he didn’t get at least one helping hand, more than a few bin-fulls would go to waste. Frankie decided he would put up a flyer on the notice board the next time he went to town and pray that only quiet people would apply.

The trees were his pride and joy. A variety that had been lost and forgotten until he had bought the aging orchard and a man named Tom Brown had come along asking about the fruit.

He felt at peace when he worked as it let his mind focus on the job at hand and was tired enough to slip into a deep slumber at night. Previously plagued by nightmares, long days of pruning, fixing, or working in the mill proved the cure for a dreamless sleep.

“I’m sorry, how much did you say the total was?” you asked while rapidly trying to do some math in your head. If you purchased everything you needed at the hardware store that would only leave you forty-seven dollars left in this week’s budget. And it was only Monday. “Ermm, on second thought, I don’t know if I really need the plaster and trowel just yet. I’ll just take the drywall and screws, please.”

Leaving the store, head down, you were feeling like such an ass you didn’t even notice the two older ladies watching your exit and whispering madly to each other. The owner of Hank’s Hardware, whose name was oddly Allan, kindly helped you pile the drywall into your truck box. You were too busy with the tie-downs to notice him join in on the developing whispered plot.

Unable to resist, you purchased a bouquet of sunflowers. They were your favourite and, once you mentioned that you were new in town, the sweet older gentleman selling them gave you an extra bunch for free. The bright flowers lightened your heart enough to almost, almost, make you forget your even lighter wallet. 

The laden-down truck was nearly out of town when you spotted an open-air market down a side street. It had a surprising number of booths set up and looked so welcoming that you couldn’t resist.

Slowly walking between the stalls, you smiled at each vendor and complimented their handiwork. A few you recognized and thanked for the delicious foods they had brought by when you had first moved in.

You wished you could have supported more of the vendors, you respected their ability to create and be confident enough to share their wares. Taking one last look around, your gaze was caught by a familiar logo: it was the same one you had seen scattered across your porch a few weeks ago. ‘Catfish Cider’ in bold script framing a picture of a gnarled old tree. Maybe you should buy some and have Jacquie over for a less depressing girl's night? But could you afford it, even with leaving behind some of the reno items at Hank's?

You didn’t realize how long you had been standing there staring at the display until a voice called out.

“You gonna buy something or just wanted to block off my stand?”

Whipping your head up you noticed the man standing behind the stand for the first time. His face, for the moment, set into a grimace you assumed was due to him being upset at your loitering.

“I dunno,” you fired back, annoyed by his annoyance and too tired to stop yourself from saying a bratty, “is it actually worth the money?” 

His grimace turned into eyebrow-raising shock, the tan skin of his rather attractive face reddening a shade or two with anger.

“Oh, you have such a discerning pallet to know better?”

“I- what? No! I just want to make sure I’m spending my money on something worthwhile.”

“Like flowers?” He challenged, his stance widening and arms crossing across his chest. 

You’d seen that pose too many times in the past; Brad used to tower over you posturing himself just like this asshole at the market. He liked to hover over you menacingly any time you had mustered up your courage to state an opinion or to belittle your ideas. It made you inwardly flinch, making you angry at yourself for still acting like a meek victim, and then, in a show of great maturity, you projected that anger onto the stranger who initiated the exchange.

“Like it’s any of your business!” You cried out in a shrill voice you didn’t even recognize as your own. “But yes, these flowers make me happier than anything else I’ve seen today could.”

“I’ll have you know-” he ground out, jabbing his finger at you.

“Nope!” You interrupted him, “I’m going to stop you right there. I’m done listening to men like you!” 

“Men like me? Men like ME?” He crowed, “Pray tell, what the hell do you know about men like me?”

Had you been acting like a functioning adult you might have realized that your voices were beginning to get noticeably loud. A small crowd around the two of you had stopped what they were doing to listen while also trying to look like there weren’t eavesdropping.

“I know all I need to,” you proclaimed, not quite able to stop the tremble in your voice. “and I’m not going to waste any more of my life listening to one.” With that, you sharply turned and made your way through the suddenly thick crowd of people.

Once the adrenaline from your encounter had worn off, you found yourself crying in your truck and regretting the way you had snapped. The hot guy at the stand might have been a bit brash with you but he hardly deserved you taking out all your inner turmoil on him like that.

Frankie winced again, thinking about how quickly out of hand the conversation had gotten. His remark was supposed to come out light and teasing but he was out of practice talking to people. Pretty people. People who were framed by armfuls of sunflowers, whose skin glowed in the Autumn sun, who had a ready smile for everyone she talked to. 

He had found himself craving one for himself, and when she had stopped at his booth, looking lost in thought, he silently begged for her to look up. Impatient, he just blurted out the first words that came to his head and instantly regretted even trying. His cheeks grew red from embarrassment and Frankie just stood there looking at her blankly, not sure how to salvage the situation.

Before he could open his mouth to apologize though, the woman responded with a retort of her own. While it could have been interpreted as teasing, there had been a fiery glint in her eye that had pushed his pride button. Frankie was suddenly ready to throw down or at least regale her with the accolades of his cider and how it came to be.

What a mess he had made. He had riled up the beautiful stranger to the point her voice had wavered with barely repressed emotion. Not to mention the stir he had caused in front of half the town.

Once the market quieted down and everyone was closing up shop, Greg from the stall next to his, called over, “Know who that was?”

Even though it had been over an hour since the spat, Frankie knew he was referring to the woman with the sunflowers.

“Hopefully just some Leaf Peeper, I’d hate to run into her again.”

“Oooooh I dunno,” mused Greg, “A woman with passion in her blood like that can be a boon to crusty old men like us.”

Frankie noticed the gleam in Greg’s eyes and felt an odd burning in his stomach because of it. It was not jealousy at the unbidden image of Greg and the woman together. Definitely not.

PART THREE

@rebelliouscat @pedro4ever @speakerforthedead0 @yespolkadotkitty @ilikechocolatemilkh @weirdowithnobeardo @pedro-pastel @disgruntledspacedad @a-skov 

[crazygalore]

MICHAEL CORLEONE ( THE GODFATHER TRILOGY ) NSFW ALPHABET

Disclaimer: My portrayal of Michael Corleone is almost exclusively movie-based. I have read the book and respect it for what it represents, but I have a preference for movie Michael, since I first watched the film, and only read the book years later. That being said, I will selectively borrow elements from the novel here and there, if and when I see fit.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

After having lost all hope of ever finding love again after having suffered through countless tragedies and betrayals, it is safe to assume that Michael treats you right in all aspects of your life together. So, after sex, he will draw you a hot bath and gently help you wash up and dry off afterwards. Then, he will tenderly tuck you into bed, bring you any snacks and beverages you may be craving, and afterwards he will lay down next to you and hold you against him until you fall asleep with your head on his chest.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He’s survived all of these years by keeping his eyes open and his mind clear, so he is quite fond of his keen and sharp gaze. He’s a bit of a sapiosexual, so while he thinks you are the sexiest and most attractive person in this world, it was your mind and your spirit that made him fall in love with you in the beginning. So, to this very day, having a stimulating conversation with you amps up his libido like nothing else.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He’s a traditionalist at heart, so he prefers finishing deep inside of you, although he will mark you with his seed if that was something you enjoyed. You would have to ask him to do it, though.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He loves seeing you wear his clothes - especially his shirts - because he thinks of it as a reinforcement of his claim on you. Although he is not one of those overly jealous or extremely possessive partners, the sight of you enveloped in his garments always manages to reassure him that you are his and his alone, to love and cherish until the day he dies. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Surprisingly, Michael has only slept with three women in the past - namely a former girlfriend and his two former wives. But although his experience is relatively limited, he’s been doing it long enough to know exactly how to drive his partner insane with desire and pleasure.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Usually it’s either missionary or doggy style, depending on the mood. On one hand, he likes being able to hold you in his arms and look into your eyes as he pounds into you - but on the other hand, the sight of your pretty ass and his girth disappearing inside of you drives him absolutely bonkers. Once in a while, however, when he is particularly exhausted, Michael will just sit back and relax as you ride him to completion. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Normally, he is very passionate and serious in bed, because making love to you is one of the few times when he can show you his more vulnerable and romantic side. That being said, realistically speaking sex is a very accident-prone activity in general, and some mishaps are funnier than others - and he is comfortable enough around you to crack an apologetic smile when that happens. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

With a military background and his current position as a don, Michael is a very clean and tidy person, and he keeps himself well groomed and trimmed down there. It is not his habit to shave completely, however, unless you expressed your preference for it.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Michael is a man hardened by the lifestyle he had no choice but embrace. He has learned to guard his heart, smother his conscience and use his reason to make educated and oftentimes ruthless decisions for the sake of his family’s safety and prosperity. But you are his sanctuary, and in your arms he feels loved, chrished and nurtured - and he feels the need to reciprocate your gestures of affection and show you his vulnerable and romantic side. So sex with Michael is always an intimate, passionate and intense experience.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t do it that often - if at all. When it happens, it’s always in the shower, and he sees it as nothing more but instant gratification for his body’s biological functions - nothing more. It only ever happens if you two happen to be away from each other, for example during his solo business trips.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

A food kink, because nothing gets him going quite like licking whipped cream and frosting off your gorgeous body. Light bondage and domination - but nothing too extreme, as his intention is simply to bring you pleasure and not to demean you. Edging, orgasm denial and mild spanking, but nothing more hardcore than that. As previously stated, he loves seeing you wearing his shirts, and he has fucked you countless times while you were still garbed in them. Also a mild and barely there breeding kink.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He’s a very private individual, so only in the comfort and safety of your home, usually in your bedroom or your shared bathroom. If he is 100% sure nobody will accidentally walk in on you too, he will definitely fuck you on the kitchen counter, and put that food kink of his to good use.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

As a sapiosexual ( a person who finds intelligence to be a sexually attractive quality in others ), having a long and stimulating debate with you is an instant turn-on. Other than that, you are gorgeous and you are all his, and your very presence fills him with desire. So, as long as the two of you are alone, without the risk of being interrupted, he’s game. But if you’re ever not feeling like it, he won’t pressure you into having sex with him, nor will he act grumpy because of it. You are his beloved, and he respect and adores you at all times.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He will never harm or demean you in any way. So anything too extreme and damaging is out of the question, no matter how much you might beg him to change his mind.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

The sight of you, kneeling before him, with your pretty lips wrapped around his girth is heaven for Michael. There are things that you can do with your wicked tongue that drive him completely crazy with need, and he oftentimes finds himself thrusting against your talented mouth. That being said, he reciprocates the gesture every single time, and he is very skilled at it. With a flick of his tongue in the right spot, and a well placed suckle, he can bring you to completion in no time - and he usually isn’t satisfied unless he’s given you several earth-shattering orgasms using only his mouth and deft fingers.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Depending on the mood, Michael can be slow and sensual, or fast and rough - but it is always a passionate exchange fuelled by your love and perpetual desire for one another. Sex with Michael is much more than a mere carnal act, but rather a complete fusion of your bodies and souls into one.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’s a busy man with a tight schedule, so once in a while you two simply have to make do with a quick hard fuck.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’s game for experimenting within reason. As long as none of you ends up being hurt or humiliated, he’s willing to give it a try.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Depending on how tired or well-rested he is, it spans from quickies to extended lovemaking sessions that last all night long. He rarely cums before you do, and usually that happens if you teased him too much beforehand. Even then, he will either recover and fuck you until reach orgasm as well, or he will use his mouth and fingers on you until you are satisfied. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He’s not opposed to toys, but he’s an old school kinda guy, so you would pretty much have to talk him into incorporating them into your guys’ sex life. Be warned, though, he will most probably use them to edge you until you are practically crying for release.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

It depends on his mood, really. Sometimes he likes to give you exactly what you want, when you want it - and sometimes he can be a complete and utter tease, to the point he drives it drives you completely nuts.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s relatively quiet, with a couple of low grunts and moans sprinkled in-between laboured breaths. However, he usually cums with a long groan he usually muffles against your neck or shoulder.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Well, you know what they say: Tiny man, huge “ego “. And Michael is the perect embodiment of this phrase. The boy is hung and he knows how to it to bring you maximum satisfaction, 100% guaranteed, no returns. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is not actually that high, but he very rarely refuses you if you initiate it. Once you get him going, however, he is relentless.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Usually he stays up a little longer to admire your slumbering form, as it has a calming effect on him. He will eventually fall asleep with you in his arms, once that brilliant and busy mind of his runs out of fuel.

[in-class-daydreams]

Parlay (Kuroo x Reader) | Ch. 9

- Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader (ft. Roommate Kenma)

Word Count: ~2, 200

Genres: Fluff, general buffoonery

CW: Swearing, sadness I guess, a little spicy but only, like, half a chili pepper out of 5

Summary: (Y/N), a first-year student attending Tokyo U, is living with her best friend, Kozume Kenma. Little did she know, her life would be turned upside down after being exposed to Kenma’s volleyball teammate and close friend, Kuroo Tetsurou. One wrong move, and the parlay’s stakes only get higher each time.

Chapters: First | Previous | Next

“Is that a new style, (Y/N)?” Chisato pointed at her coworker’s misaligned shirt buttons. The young woman groaned, frantically fiddling with her uniform so she looked at least somewhat presentable.

On the way here, her phone was suddenly pinging with notifications, and before she could even check who was spamming her (and wasting her data), Tooru’s (beautiful) face popped up on her screen.

‘Oh dear...’ She mentally prepared herself to hear what was so important that Oikawa wanted her to hear it right now immediately.

“Hello? Tooru? What’s up?”

“(Y/N)-chan? Forget what I said earlier, he’s a moron. Go talk to him.”

“Tooru, what’re you talking abou--!” The call ended before she could ask him for any context.

Overworked, cranky, and thoroughly distracted, (Y/N) stood in the changing room with her brow furrowed. Flinging her apron down on a chair after failing to tie it properly for the fourth time, the girl glared into the mirror. Hair disheveled and eye bags deep, it felt like the completely put-together persona that she had worked so hard to build was crumbling down. Just after leaving Oikawa to his own devices at Tokyo U, she looked at her phone to see that it was already 5:17.

‘Shoot! I got too caught up with all this! I’m sorry Gran!’ she mentally apologized.

Making the sprint from Tokyo U to Chisai in ten minutes was doable for a trained athlete like Kuroo, but (Y/N), student, waitress, and studying extraordinaire, ended up being about five minutes late to her destination.

(Y/N) had only been late to work once, this being her second time. The last time she was late, she had spent ages profusely apologizing to Grandmother. The old woman didn’t seem to mind her being late, but to (Y/N), it was a guilt that never went away. She couldn’t believe she had been late to a 5:30 shift, which was just as the dinner rush was starting.

Now, she was both late and sweating profusely, a truly disgusting combination. While she wondered how one boy could get her so bent out of shape, Tamaki rapped gently on the changing room door.

“(Y/N)? Your boy’s here to see you!”

(Y/N) froze, “Okay, I’ll be right out!”

“Hurry up, though, we’re about to be swamped!”

It was already dark. The cool autumn air was beginning to turn cold. (Y/N) hugged herself to keep warm in her thin white dress shirt. She had barely made it down the steps of Chisai before she was dragged into a solid chest, held there by strong arms.

“Kuroo-san?” she gasped.

The boy in question just held her tightly, as if he was worried she’d pull away at any moment.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into her hair.

“Kuroo-san, I-- What are you doing here?” she asked. Kuroo didn’t release his hold.

“I came to let you know I’m sorry. For everything. For being all weird around you, and for not talking to you properly, and for not treating you like a person. I really didn’t mean to make you feel like I don’t respect you, because I do. I really do. Maybe too much sometimes. And I don’t think you’re shallow at all, that was just me and my stupid mouth. I was the one who felt insecure, and it was wrong of me to take it out on you,” slowly, his arms fell away from her shoulders. She shivered at the loss of warmth.

“I… I accept your apology. I’m sorry, too. I went off on you for making assumptions, but after getting to know you, I should have known you didn’t mean any of those things. That was my-- Oh--!!”

(Y/N) found herself in another crushing embrace, the warmth surrounding her body once again.

“Wait!” she protested, (weakly) attempting to break out, “I haven’t apologized properly!”

Kuroo shook his head. Content, he rested his chin on her shoulder.

“Can we just stay like this for a little longer? That’s all I need from you.”

“But you deserve a full apology!”

“I’m just glad to see you.”

Pulling back, (Y/N) looked into Kuroo’s overjoyed expression.

‘Should I…?’ She hesitated.

Luckily, she didn’t need to make a decision as Kuroo’s catlike eyes flickered down to her lips. Her eyes fluttered shut as he leaned in.

“(Y/N)!” The girl yelped at the sound of her name. Clutching the tall boy by the hoodie, her head snapped towards the door of Chisai. Tamaki stood there looking harried.

“Unless your boy’s gonna put on an apron, you need to get your butt in here!” she snapped. (Y/N) smoothed her hair down with one hand and straightened her uniform with the other.

“I’ll be right there,” she told her coworker.

“You better.”

Somehow pristine and radiant once more, (Y/N) turned to Kuroo, grabbing his hands in both of hers.

“I’ll see you at the game tomorrow?”

Kuroo had become much more functional as a person around her since the ‘I table’ incident, but here she was, holding his hands, and his brain was going haywire because ‘Oh jesus, why are her hands so soft??’

His brain didn’t register the gentle pressure on his cheek until she had already lowered herself from her toes and was making her way up the steps to the tea house.

“And Kuroo?” Amber eyes snapped to attention at the sound of her voice, “You don’t need to worry about Tooru. I’m not sure how to say this, but, uh, you don’t really have any competition.”

“(Y/N), don’t make me come get you!”

Kuroo watched as she climbed the stone steps, giving him one last sweet look before she disappeared, leaving him standing there under the streetlight.

An absolute lovestruck idiot.

~~

“Bokuto-san!” Akaashi curved at the spine to send the outside hitter a toss. The spiker jumped up and slammed a straight right between the blockers, where it was picked up by the libero. The opposing team’s setter sent a toss to their ace.

Kuroo stepped to the side to line up with the hitter and jumped. The ball glanced off his left hand.

“One-touch!” he yelled over his shoulder.

Enraptured, Shusei leaned over (Y/N) shoulder, shoving fistfuls of kettle corn into his mouth.

“What’s up with your boy?” he said through a full mouth.

“I’m not sure…” she murmured. Her shoulders tightened up, “And stop calling him my boy!” she scolded her friend, who shrugged.

“You knew exactly who I was talking about, sooo.”

~~

It was Kuroo’s turn to serve. He tossed the ball in the air, jumped, and slammed it across the court, where the defense picked it up easily. Nishinoya picked up the opposing team’s attack and Kuroo hit a cross, where the defense was unable to save it. Kuroo ignored the roaring of the crowd, looking towards the stands. (Y/N)’s heart skipped a beat when the two of them made eye contact.

“Maybe you should go talk to him at the break,” Tamaki suggested, “ He’s probably distracted from that whole thing with you yesterday.”

“I can’t just waltz into the locker room!”

“Who’s stopping you?”

This time, Kuroo smashed his spike right into a three-person block.

“What is up with you today?” (Y/N) asked as if he could hear.

“I know you like being passive and staying on the sidelines,” Shusei’s eyes didn’t leave the court. He ran a hand through his styled strawberry blonde locks, “But that doesn’t seem to be going too well for you right now. If he can leave his comfort zone for you, maybe you can do the same, yeah?”

The referee blew her whistle, gesturing to the net. Kuroo had a look of pure anguish as the opposing team gained another point. The audience stared in shock as Tokyo U lost a point for Kuroo touching the net.

Tokyo U’s coach turned to his team in the box. Iwaizumi jogged up to the edge of the court, and held up a paddle with a familiar number.

“They’re taking him out?” (Y/N) wondered as Kuroo jogged over to the sideline. He took the paddle from his teammate and sat down on the bench. It was painful to see him so frustrated with himself.

The opposing team had taken the second set not long after Kuroo was benched. As the coach led them back to the locker room for a quick talk on strategy, Kuroo kept his eyes on the ground. Once he said his piece, the coach ordered everyone out except for Kuroo. With a sharp, “Get your head on straight!” the boys left their teammate to his own devices.

Meanwhile, (Y/N) sat conflicted up in the stands. She thought about Kuroo, and the miserable look he had on his face. The frustration that took over his whole body made (Y/N)’s heart strain in her chest, like it was reaching to be near him.

Every Tuesday and Thursday, Kuroo would walk her to work because it was getting dark, and he didn’t want to take any chances. Then, he’d bust his ass getting to practice so he wouldn’t be late, and yet, he never complained. Hell, he didn’t even take credit for it.

Kenma was right. She really was oblivious. That boy with the ridiculous bedhead that was constantly so tongue-tied around her… He really cared about her, didn’t he?

Nearly tripping over the spectators around her, (Y/N) apologized profusely as she rushed towards the exit. There was a loud bang when her foot slipped on the stadium stair. Bare shin painfully connected with metal, but while onlookers asked her if she was alright, the girl paid it no mind as she kept moving towards the end of the bleachers. Unaffected by any quizzical stares, she broke into a run towards the locker room entrance.

By no means was she an excellent runner. After spending all her time with her head in a book, her stamina had gotten a little low, to say the least. Side cramping and shins aching, she kept on running.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity had passed, her exhausted arms flung open the door. Kuroo jumped at the sudden intrusion. The bewildered young man took in the sight of his favorite girl, sweaty, disheveled, and wheezing with effort. That cute furrow in her brow that he enjoyed so much deepened as she marched right up to him.

The completely wrecked girl in front of him grabbed his face in both hands. Before he could even process what was going on, her mouth was ranting to him a mile a minute.

“Look, I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, but I know you’re better at volleyball than this, and you know you’re better than this, so get it together! The guy I like is an excellent athlete and middle blocker, and you don’t have to win, but you will not go down like this, Tetsurou!”

Kuroo wasn’t sure what he felt first, her hands gripping the fabric of his jersey or his back slamming against the metal lockers with a thud. Any of those thoughts left his brain when her lips insistently met his. The world melted away and he tasted mint, strawberry, and something else uniquely her. She tasted like everything he ever dreamed she would. His strong arms wrapped around her waist as he pulled her closer. Every nerve in his body was electrified while her hand snaked through his sweat-slicked hair. For the entire time he knew her, she just seemed so flawless, fitting in perfectly wherever she went: their lecture hall, her apartment with Kenma, that party with his teammates, but she’d never felt so ethereal as she was right then, flush against him, his senses completely consumed by her touch, her taste, her soft lips on his.

When their lips finally parted, his hand slid up to her cheek, pulling her back to him hungrily, so that her heavenly mouth may never leave their rightful place against his ever again. Bracing her hands against his chest, she gently nudged him back. He compromised by placing his forehead against hers.

“Good luck,” she whispered against his lips.

Kuroo pulled back and gave her a determined look.

“I won’t need it.”

~~

“Tetsu-chan!” Oikawa tossed to Kuroo, who did a wipe across the opposing team’s block. Ever since the coach agreed to put him back in, Kuroo was on fire.

The opposing spiker growled in frustration at getting shut-out once again. Tokyo-U’s head coach nodded in approval.

“Gave yourself one hell of a pep talk in the locker room, huh?” Bokuto said. His friend shook his head.

“I guess I did,” he dismissed.

“Did that pep talk include putting on pink lip gloss, or was that just a side effect?” Nishinoya taunted from the back row.

Kuroo brought a hand up to scrub at his mouth, then decided not to, just in case that kiss was a one-time thing, or the very real possibility that he had fantasized the whole thing.

It was Ushijima’s turn to serve. One bounce, then two. The mountain of a man jumped and sent the ball flying to the other end of the court with breakneck speed. Somehow, the other team managed to get the ball in the air. Kuroo’s mind was going a mile a minute. The second set, the opposing team had done a back row attack, but it seemed this setter from the first set preferred to use the outside hitter, who was left-handed.

Grabbing Bokuto by the shoulders, the two quickly switched places, and, on Kuroo’s count, jumped up just as the ace’s hand connected with the ball, meeting Kuroo’s exceptional block and hitting the floor just in front of the libero’s save. The referee blew her whistle and crossed her arms, signaling Tokyo U’s victory.

~~

Taglist: @nekomas-kuroo @joyful-jimin @ohwow-ok

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 76

Chapter Summary - Tom and Danielle enjoy some time in the countryside once more, talking about something that has been on Tom's mind before celebrating Tom's birthday.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe​ @wolfsmom1​

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

Tom looked around the house, wondering where Danielle was, the fact that Mac was hiding under the table looking less than pleased caught his attention also. "Where is she?" The dog only gave a small groan in response. "Where is she gone?" His answer came a moment later when a loud engine roared and Mac's ears went up, his attention to the back garden as he did so. Tom walked out and watched as Danielle mowed the grass on the small patch of her garden that was green. It took only a moment before it was done. "A woman of many talents."

"And yet a master at none," She smiled looking over at him. "Come on, I am going to do your mum's while I'm at it."

"Okay?"

"Open the gate," Danielle instructed.

"Where is she gone?" He asked, doing as he was instructed, noting his mum's car was gone from her driveway.

"Shopping, she said she wants to grab a few bits in town."

"Don't you usually go with her?"

"If by that do you mean 'Danielle, you usually play chauffeur, why not today' then the answer is because I am doing this housework, and I want to get everything here sorted." she smiled, leaning up to kiss him. "So I was thinking…"

"Oh God," Tom chuckled as she swatted his arm. "What were you thinking, Darling?"

"A walk after lunch, you, me and a particular canine?"

"The woods?"

"Yep."

Tom wrapped his arms around her, "I think that is a wonderful idea." He leant down and kissed her. "I hate not being able to walk around with you in London."

"I do too, until you go out and are photographed going to Sainsbury's or going for a jog and am reminded that as soon as we are out, they will harass you again like they did when they were trying to get you to talk about Swift."

Tom's brow furrowed. "What about when they start harassing you, why would you be worried about when they are harassing me, I am used to it?"

"Well, I am working on me, so I know I am getting there, so I am worried about you," she explained before getting ready to mow Diana's lawn.

"I should do that." Tom edged forward towards the lawnmower.

"Do you know how?" Tom looked at her, insulted at her insinuation. "Okay," she backed off before turning to look at him again, "Don't forget to prime it though." She stated before going to get the bag to tidy the cut grass so that they could minimise the time it would take.

Tom looked at the lawnmower, wondering what she meant by priming it. After a few seconds of looking at the machine, he turned to see her looking at him expectantly. "I…"

"Never used a petrol one?"

"No, just electric." He admitted, relieved she was not using a ridiculing tone, but one of comprehension.

"Right, well, it is fairly simple." She dropped the bag down in a corner and walked over to him. "The primer is this red button under here," she bent down and showed him the button in question. "You push it three times to send petrol into the engine to start her up, then, you pull this lever here," She pulled a lever. "Keep it pulled, and you yank this rope back and it will start the motor." She explained, showing him by doing it. The motor roaring to life once more as she did so before she let go of the lever and it died again. "Now you try."

Tom slowly went through the steps she told him again and got it, for a moment, before leaving go of the lever. "What happened?"

"You let go, you kill it when you do that." She explained.

Tom smiled down at her. "How do you know all of this?"

"My dad told me to never depend on other people to do house chores, plumbing, electrics and tiling aside, every girl should know how to look after her house."

"I saw you fix mum's sink once." Tom corrected.

"That was cleaning the U-bend, that isn't plumbing, that is basic hygiene."

Tom leant down and kissed her again. "You are an incredible woman Danielle."

"Because I know how to use a lawnmower?" She stared at him as though he was mad.

"No, because you are so independent and strong." his smile fell slightly. "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did," she joked, before nodding slightly, noting his slight change of tone. "Sure, ask away."

"Would he have approved of me, your father?"

Danielle did not answer for a moment, not because she did not want to hurt Tom's feelings, but simply because she was assessing the question properly. "I think so."

"Really?"

"He would have joked about being thankful you're not a vet, he always was at me to never marry a vet, my life would be hell putting up with him. He would love how much respect you have for your mum, that would have been something he would focus on, and your sisters, that really mattered to him. That would have him approving in a second, hands down."

"My career?" that was where Danielle looked at him awkwardly. "Please, Elle, be honest."

"He would have worried. He didn't want me left raising a family by myself while my husband would be working as a vet, out a few times a night, or pretty much be a single mother in Springtime, so I can't imagine you going off for a few months would be something he would have been too pleased by, but that being said, my career isn't stationary either, I mean we are effectively in the same industry, so I think he would see that as a plus and badger me, and you too, to take jobs together."

"Do you think we ever will?"

"What, work on the same set?" Tom nodded. "Dunno, I mean there is a chance, but until I get a bit bigger, I am not sure, you are usually on big jobs, Marvel, Kong, that sort of thing, but who knows, the day might come."

"Would that bother you?"

"Yes, I mean how am I supposed to work if I have to try and function with your sexy ass nearby?" Danielle joked. "Before we make this public, if we were working together, yes, it would, because I would have to listen to every female and probably a man or two too, going on about how sexy you are; at least if it happens after, I can laugh at them saying I only got the job because of you and get to walk around knowing that for all their staring at your ass, I am the only one that gets to have it."

"Most definitely." Tom grinned.

"What about the other way around. How do you think you would feel me working close to you like that, barking orders at construction men and having directors angry that I am costing shooting hours because the set isn't to my standard?"

"Well I know you are a very meticulous woman of very high standards of quality in your life Ms Hughes, and regarding seeing you in action, telling those men what to do, I fear we would come to have an issue." He grinned.

"And what issue is that?" She asked, her brow raised.

"I would be very much inclined to find you the subject of daily lust that I would have to endure torturously before sating myself with you nightly."

"You are a fiend, Tom Hiddleston." She swatted his arm as she looked at him, her own lust rising at his words. "Now, enough dallying and mow the lawn, it will be your fortieth birthday before you are finished this, much less your next one if you keep trying to avoid housework."

Tom smiled as she walked around his mother's garden to pick up some plant debris as he did as she instructed and started the lawnmower.

*

"What about your mum?" Danielle looked at him as they walked through the woods, watching Mac sniff and mark nigh on every other tree. The leaves finally starting to consider coming out of their hibernation on the chilly but dry overcast February day. "Would she have approved?"

"Can I ask why this even matters?"

Tom's pace faltered slightly. "She wouldn't have?"

"No, I think she would, but why does it even matter, they are not here, they cannot have an opinion on this."

"Is it wrong for me to want to know if my partner's parents would like me?" Tom asked. "You know what my parents think of you."

"Your parents make it very clear what they think of people and to be honest, that's not a bad thing either."

"Elle?"

"Look, Mam would have thought you a gentleman, she would have fawned over you and dare I admit it, giggled like a schoolgirl at you saying you love things in the house and probably get smitten," she stated factually before looking at him again. "Now, why does this matter now?"

"Mum asked me yesterday was I going to Ireland for your grandmother's anniversary, I said no and mentioned what you said about your aunt not approving of me, which led to mum making a comment about her opinion not being the one that would have mattered, but your parents and she was sure they would have approved of me, but of course, we have no way to know that," Tom explained.

Danielle thought over his words for a moment, glad to understand why he had asked such a random question. "My aunt is a battle-axe. Literally, you could have two Oscars, four Golden Globes and a couple of Grammy's and she would think you not good enough for our family, she cost her daughter a marriage to a guy she really loved because of her notions. But Dad wasn't like her, they were from the same house but he was a farmer's son and he never forgot it. He earned more than his dad ever did, he had a bigger, nicer house, he had fancier things but he was a farmer's son and no way would he forget it. It doesn't matter if we had a dining room as well as a kitchen, it was the same food on fancier plates as my grandfather put it that was served. Bacon and cabbage, stew and all that, no fancy posh meals. I remember Mam served him some pizza once, he asked what the fuck squashed his quiche." she laughed, Tom quickly joined in. "My aunt acts as though they were landed gentry and not from 'knee-high in cow shit' as my dad used to say."

"I see where you got your love of swearing."

"Stop, Mam used to give out to him for swearing so much."

"Was she the rock of sense?"

Danielle looked at him bemusedly. "Tom, I swear, her way of saying 'stop swearing' was, and I swear this is the truth 'watch your fucking language'." Tom erupted in laughter at that, so much so that Mac stopped sniffing a plant and looked around at them.

"You're not serious, please tell me that's the truth," Tom begged.

Danielle raised her hand as though she was about to swear on a bible. "I solemnly swear, that is what she used to say. And dad used to give out to her for it then and blame her for my foul mouth, both using expletives in doing so and with Mam bearing arms with some form of kitchen utensil in her hand."

"That is brilliant." Tom chuckled.

"Yeah, so that is my parents."

"I wish I could have met them."

"Well, if you had, I would not have been in England, so you would not have known who they were." Danielle pointed out. "But yes, I wish you could have. Dad would have loved you, a fellow Jameson man. He'd have hammered the GAA into you though."

"Did he not like soccer and rugby?"

"Nah, he had no time for them 'foreign games'," she explained. "I mean he'd watch them yeah, on the telly, but not in an 'oh great, the soccer's on, stop what we are doing and pop it on' sort of way." She explained.

"So he didn’t follow a team?"

"Ireland in major tournaments, obviously, but his brother lived near Highbury as a young man, so Arsenal." Tom came to a halt. "What?"

"You had family in London?"

"Pretty much everyone in Ireland has someone who came over to work for a while."

"Where is he now?"

"New York."

"That's a far cry from a farm."

"Yeah, and the farce is he went all the way to America to marry a woman from Mayo." Danielle laughed.

"I am afraid that means nothing to me."

"Mayo is the county next to Galway, he went New York to marry a woman from seventy kilometres away," She explained, Tom laughed at that. "So yeah."

"Okay, that is very funny," Tom admitted. "So your parents, they would have been happy with me?"

"Well, since I am a short-arse, Dad would have been harping on about you giving any kids we have some height, important in a good hurler, and Mam would think you too thin."

"If it meant more food like yours I would have been happy enough." Tom chuckled, putting his arm around her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just a little sad I never got to tell them about you, to get to bring you over and show them that I am actually able to get a decent guy, that's all they wanted."

"I'm sorry, Darling."

"Don't be, they'd tell me to cop on to myself and be happy."

"It's done?"

"It's done." She smiled, extending her hand to him.

Tom looked at it for a moment, Danielle was never one to be overly affectionate in public in any manner, he had heard her scoff at people who were overly affectionate, but considering that she had just spoken of her parents, he knew she felt somewhat vulnerable and took her hand in his, bringing hers to his lips. "Are you scared of being seen?"

"It's a woods, besides, I am more scared of losing you for something so stupid as not showing you how much I care about you."

Tom's eyes lit up at her admission, insisting on having his hand in close proximity to hers for the rest of the walk when he was not holding it, close enough for her to feel it occasionally brush against it as they did so.

*

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Thomas, Happy Birthday to you."

Tom hid his face in his hands as everyone sang to him, his mum holding his shoulders as Danielle laughed as Tom's face began to redden. "You know what to do," She joked, "You've had enough of these things by now."

"Sarah, Elle's calling you old," He joked.

"Oi!" Sarah swatted Danielle, who laughed more.

"I did not!"

"I am older than him," She pointed out.

"Crap," Danielle commented. "Sorry."

"No, you're not," Emma whispered in her ear with a big smile.

"Shh," she giggled back.

Tom watched as they acted as they always had before the conflict before Christmas. "Can I eat this now? Mum, as usual, you bake the best cake."

"After you blow out the candles," His niece's tone was scolding.

"Of course, how silly of me. Will you help?"

"Because everyone loves saliva covered cake." Danielle laughed.

"She is just trying to help." Tom admonished.

"I am talking about you spitting and dribbling, old man," Danielle commented, as his sisters, their husbands and his mother laughed, Tom rose to his feet. "Eep." Danielle used that moment to scarper around to the other side of the table.

"Are you sorry?" He demanded, trying to get her to go around the table towards him.

"Not really, no." Danielle laughed while remaining on the far side of the table.

"Actual children." Emma scoffed.

"The five-year-old is more mature than the two of you combined," Sarah added, but the smile on her face showed how elated she was for her brother to finally appear to be genuinely happy.

"He started it." Danielle pointed to Tom.

"How did I start it, you are the one calling me old."

"You spent your morning looking for grey hairs and checking your hairline." She laughed.

"Right," Tom thought strategically for a moment and used Jack as a barricade to keep Danielle pinned while he took the other direction.

"What, no." Danielle used her small height to her advantage and slipped through the Brother-in-law barricade and rushed for the door. "Woohoo."

"How is she nearly thirty, no really, how is that woman your best friend?" Jack asked Emma who was too busy doubled over laughing at Tom who was still seemingly trying to compute how Danielle had gotten out. A moment later, her phone went off. From where he as standing, Jack could see the message, which he read aloud. "I win, someone owes me cake."

Tom stormed out of the room and towards the sitting room, having not heard Danielle go upstairs. "Where are you?"

"Not here." She replied, her tone light.

Looking around the door, he saw her looking at him cautiously. "You are a terror," he grinned, looking down at her from his far taller frame. "I am going to have to get you for that."

"But then you won't get your present." She threatened.

"I told you not to get me anything, the breakaway for Christmas was enough." He scolded. Danielle bit her lips together. "What is it?"

"You don't have to."

"Elle?" She pulled out an envelope from her pocket, folded over from bring shoved in there. "What is it?"

She handed it to him. "It's not Rome, and I don't have a private jet." He gave her a look to tell her to cease talking like that. "I just thought, after our conversation the other day."

He opened the envelope to see a small piece of paper inside, which contained two dates for after the Kong tour. "Where is Shannon?"

"An airport."

"Where?"

"Clare, Ireland."

"You want to bring me home with you?"

"I have no one to really show you to, well my aunts and them are there, but since you asked about all of that."

Tom looked at the paper in his hand and thought about it, a small smile coming to his face. "It's better than Rome."

"Okay, there's no need to lie, it's not but it's home," Danielle smiled.

"No, Elle. It is where you are from, I get to see what moulded you, it is better." He confirmed. "I cannot wait to see it."

"You were in Ireland before."

"Yes, the other side of the country, I always wanted to see the part of the country that inspired the great scholars there."

"You're in for a treat with Connemara and all that so, but we also have to go to West Cork."

"What's there?"

"My mam's lot."

"What are they like?"

"Nice, country stock as well, there's just one issue..."

"What?" Tom asked worriedly.

"Remember those two brothers that won the silver medals in rowing for Ireland in the last Olympics?"

"Yes," Tom looked at her, elongating the word as he spoke. "They are from around there, aren't they?"

"About forty minutes from my Mams."

"Wait, does everyone there speak like that?"

"Not usually as strong, but broadly similar."

"Oh God, this will be hilarious." Tom chuckled.

"They won't have a clue what you are saying."

"The feeling, I can assure you, is going to be mutual," He smiled, kissing her. "I am going to get you for the old man comments."

"After cake?"

"After cake," He confirmed before kissing her again.

"Euch!" they turned to see a disgusted face of regretful curiosity before the Duchess fled the room again. "They're kissing."

[jcurncy]

@gcldess asked: a lot of questions i’m gonna break down 1 by 1.

p.s i loooooveeee jackee w my whole-ass heart.

under the cut bc it’s LONG

does ching remember her mother, or just things she heard from her dad?

ching has very distant memories of her mother. her face, her perfume, her voice. if she tries to remember her mom she can very distinctly remember these things, and they make her feel very small and vulnerable. chang doesn’t talk much about her unless ching asks, and ching stopped asking around the time pucca’s parents went missing. ching will always have a piece of her heart missing that her mother took with her, but it becomes much smaller the older she gets and the closer she grows to her friends.

how does she deal with won's death?

not very well at first. she knew it was coming because won was getting old. she got fairly sick and ching just knew it was over. she fought for won as hard as she could with vet visits and medicines and anything she could do. won was her closest confidant and best friend after her mother left and before she was very close with abyo and pucca. her five stages look like this:

denial: lasts all the way through the first vet visit. when the vet announces that yes there’s nothing much they can do for won, she breaks down in the room right there, holding won close to her chest and crying. abyo or pucca went with her, and whoever it was just sits next to her and let’s her cry.pucca hates seeing ching cry, so she’d probably try to cheer her up, but it’s not very successful. abyo would also try and cheer her up, but he’d ultimately fail, too. garu would probably just let her cry, and when she was okay and ready to leave he’d make sure she got home okay.

anger: she’s in the dojo attacking anything for a week. if she’s not spending time with won during her last few weeks, she’s trying to kill something.any of their typical enemies attack? ching slices through them like nothing. her best friend is dying there’s nothing she can do to fix it so get the fuck out of her way. tobe probably picks up on it pretty quickly and avoids attacking when either of the girls are around.

bargaining: it doesn’t last long. she pleads with everyone she can think of that could save him, but even master soo can’t meddle in death.

depression: it’s so bad she can’t get out of bed. she and won just stay in bed for days. won is sick but trying to comfort ching until the end. it’s only when ching realizes this that she is able to pick herself up out of bed every day. she may not do much more than get up and get dressed and other usual hygiene things, but she gets. out. of. bed. and sometimes that’s all you can ask for.

acceptance: she thinks she’s accepted it before won finally passes, but she doesn’t actually seem to accept it until won’s tiny casket has been buried behind the dojo. there’s a small ceremony, with all they’re family. ching says a few words about how much won had always meant to her, and how she’s sad to see her go, but is glad she’s no longer in pain. she has the other chickens by now, and they knew won too, so their all grieving. garu doesn’t break his vow of silence very often but i can see this being one of the exceptions.(@honrr) having her other chickens does help her move on. having other creatures to live for, things to accomplish, goals to meet, helps her feel better. she spends more time tending to her flower garden, painting and photographing and enjoying her more artistic hobbies. she grows, she copes, and she never forgets. she has a plaque made that hangs in the living room. “In Honor of Won, The Greatest Chicken Best Friend a Girl Could Have.” The other chickens can’t read so they can’t be offended.

who does ching hate more, tobe, dada, or ring ring, and why?

ching will always tell you she doesn’t feel hate, but it’s not true. she hates bugs. but she doesn’t truly hate any of these people. she hates parts of their personalities, but she sees the potential for goodness in all of them. she knows tobe is capable of love, and ring ring and dada too, for that matter. ching believes that if someone is capable of loving their capable of growing.

she hates that tobe can’t just leave garu alone. she doesn’t know what their feud is over, but she finds it so annoying that it’s so constant.

she hates the way dada treats pucca. how pucca is always so kind and forgiving of him, but he stabs her in the back and helps kidnap her uncles! so right now dada is in first place for most hated.

she hates who ring ring has become. how manipulative and mean she is. part of her can’t believe they were ever friends with her, and another part wonders where they all went wrong. ching sees a lot of her own insecurities in ring ring, and she genuinely pities her. ring ring is a reminder to her that she can’t bottle up and hide all the things she doesn’t like about herself. she has to be open about them. it’s not always easy, but she tries hard every day to take the steps necessary to not feel spiteful to her best friend in the world.

so it’s probably dada. she sees true potential for good in tobe, and just pities ring eing, but dada has seriously traumatized pucca, and that does not fly with ching.

what is ching's favorite movie?

she honestly rly likes old kung fu movies that abyo makes her watch, they’re her guilty pleasure. she’ll put up a fight on movie night but it’s all for show. her favorite is the original karate kid. ching doesn’t have one all-time favorite. she has certain movies that are top-tier, and karate kid is always hovering in the top five.she;s also a sucker for cheesy chick flicks from the late ‘90′s early 2000′s

when does she first realize she has feelings for abyo?

oh man. that’s.

so at first it’s like. “this is a dude i’ve known my whole life, i think he’s cute, we’re kids”. that kinda crush. where you like them bc you’ve known each other forever and everyone thinks you’ll get together anyways. ching glides along with this no problem. she doesn’t realize it goes deeper until abyo starts getting rly flirty (in-show) and she realizes that the anger it makes her feel is really jealousy. she’s 11 so she doesn’t think on it too hard. just continues with the “he’s my boyfriend” and getting frustrated at him for flirting so much. she also takes a lot of cues from pucca because she’s never seen a functional relationship. she knew pucca’s parents, but they were just her best friends parents, they never felt like an example of a relationship to her. so pucca’s constant pursuit spurs ching’s. ching is not as outgoing with her affection as pucca is and she has impulse control. so when it hits her like “wow these are real feelings.’ would be like high school age. u know. when ur figuring all that shit out in the first place. she takes a good long think about her feelings more in general, and she notices how often abyo made her feel this or that, more than pucca or garu or won or anyone. abyo is always right there. and that’s when it kinda clicks for her that abyo’s like her person. he’s an idiot. but he’s loyal and lovable and kind. he cares about her.

is she ever jealous of pucca?

it’s not super often, but it does pop up. pucca is sooga village’s “it” girl. she’s cute and sweet and popluar (for good and obvious reasons). and ching is nothing but happy and supportive of her best friend. but there are definitely times when she finds herself envying her. even just slightly. like how everyone is automatically drawn to her, how she barely speaks loud enough to hear and captures everyone’s attention. how pucca is so powerful and strong and perfect that it only makes ching all the more aware of her own insecurities. she doesn’t want to hold it against pucca. she knows she isn’t perfect and that she has her own traumas to face. also that time pucca accidentally kissed abyo she was momentarily like “girl what are u doing” until pucca threw an acorn at him.

is there a villain she respects or feels pity for?

she has respect and pity for the vagabonds. she respects that they’re willing to do what they need to to stay alive and feed themselves. she pities them that it means a life of crime. she pities all of them to an extent, but it’s more like compassion than pity. except ring ring, she truly pities ring ring. like she’ll momentarily pity any villain that’s in pucca’s way, but it wears off once they’re dealt with. dada isn’t technically a villain but she pities him too. after her incident with doga’s sock she wonders if that’s why doga is actually evil, and not because she wants to be. she really doesn’t like tobe, but literally only because he’s always bugging her friends. if he’d leave them alone she’d probably find a way to get along with him.

[sighingsiren-tales]

ZODIAC MEN

So, I haven’t really said it much here but I have been healing from something terrible and this was my way of healing. I love astrology and this is something that I may start permanently in addition to the fan fiction I write here. I hope you enjoy it~Kae

*Note, this is from the perspective of a Leo Sun, Aquarius Moon, Leo Mercury, Virgo Venus and Rising and Scorpio Mars. (I’m a female) 

ARIES

❌My middle school boyfriend. Ha, you still hit me up and tell me i look cute and how we’re gonna have kids from time to time, maybe even flirt with me here and there. can’t say i don’t like it the attention but that ship sailed long ago. Funny, a definite goofball, popular after his insecurity phase was over. 

❌one of the first guys i fucked in college. lol you were fun, fun as hell. you were always easy going, funny and matched my energy relatively well but you were most definitely a fuckboy (sorry) you just liked pussy and women too much for us to ever work, assuming you even wanted us to work. You still tried to hit on me when i had a boyfriend (who was your roommate) and when you had a girlfriend. Bold as hell and he was h u g e.

❌ah, one of the few of your kind that I actually like on campus. loud personality but actually very timid. always asks me how to seduce people and tells me that I get what i want relatively easy. a ball of insecurities and emotion. learn your value king and get over that. 

TAURUS

❌over emotional man child lmao sorry. you want someone to be your mother and hold your hand and i can honestly say no one has hurt me like you have. too self absorbed, needs reassurance, can’t be himself. drinks and smokes too much. navy dude.

❌one of my self proclaimed brothers. he’s a bit of a hard ass and a commitmentphobe but he has a big heart and truly acts like a second dad haha. i love him as a friend. caring, soft, funny, protective asf (especially of me), won’t let me walk back to my dorm alone. 

❌my little brother. a pain in my ass. acts tough and hard, uses a lot of slang. needs attention and reassurance often. loves hard but can be annoying. told me he cared about me when i ran away. needs a healthier way to show his emotions. we butt heads a lot as kids. stubborn as hell. love you though kid 

❌ahh, this one (he’s a cusp kid, 4/20 hehe blaze it). honestly a super hero. so caring and sweet but also kinky and your handprint is kinda still on my ass. i had a crush on you before you did. honest, respectful, loveeessssss his mom, has a lot of female friends (which makes me a bit jealous). anime buddy. patient, protective, a bit of a temper (it’s kinda hot), the best kind of man. can get me to open up but strengthen me at the same time?? my superman, the only man i don’t mind being vulnerable to. reminds me of an anime character. a warrior with a heart of g

GEMINI

 ❌fun while it lasted and i’m pretty sure i was your flavor of the month and you were mine as well. you were funny, and meshed with my energy well. didn’t last long in bed tho😬 your laugh was contagious. really good dancer. can’t hold a relationship for your LIFE. not good with emotions, a free spirit. kinda wishy washy. didn’t like it when i avoided hanging out. 

❌quiet, had an intimidating presence. everyone thought you were scary but you were funny, logical and very headstrong. strong silent type. always opened up with me but no one else. has a “lone wolf mentality” strongest man i know. made me happy with who i am, gave the best advice. unmovable, easy going. the one i stay with at all family functions. a big chunk of my heart. love you big bro.

CANCER

 ❌absolute trash lmao. always attracted drama and stuck his nose where it didn’t belong. ultimate instigator. i think you just need a diary and a xanax. everyone said you tried to break up me and my (then) boyfriend?? cute but annoying. an acquired taste (and that’s me being nice)

❌my little baby brother. the sweetest thing upon planet earth. always asks me if i’m okay, comes to me when he’s sad and cried when i told him i was leaving for college. tells me he loves my hair and nails and always protects his big sis. always excited to see me. so smart, a damn genius actually. amazing with technology. i love you so much little man.

LEO

 ❌ahh my first love. so caring, tender, sweet but had too many scars and wounds for us to heal together. we made so many mistakes with one another but you were always trying to be my own personal naruto and, for a while, you were. and for those few months you were my everything. kept me going when i wanted to die. kissed my scars all the time. always bought me food. loved to spoil me. had a temper and hid his emotions. put everyone before himself too much. things ended bad and our egos clashed. i hurt you. i’m sorry. the last words we said to each other were good bye and i love you. 

❌someone at college who wants to fuck me lmao. always hugs me really tight, stares me down in a way where i know he’s undressing me mentally. says love is bullshit but wants a happy ending and i know it. also also, you’re not fucking me lmao.

VIRGO

 ❌my summertime coworker. a party animal, mentally resilient and smart as all hell. we fooled around once lmao but it never got far. funny as fuck. never spoke about what he had going on but i know he was hurting. a perfectionist, a scammer. 

❌sweet in a weird kinda of way. always asks if i’m okay. always asks if i need something, always willing to help. trusts me to make my own decisions and encourages me to think for myself and watch my back. hard working, quiet with bit of a hardshell. never lets anything dictate who he is. love you uncle. 

LIBRA

❌my distant friends ex; wishy washy. not very good with commitment. really cute room and good fashion sense. pretty lips; respectful and honest fuck boy. made a move on me once after a party once. pops in and out of my life. 

❌invited me to a gala once. loved the attention of having me on my arm. hated my ex. smoked weed a lot, easy going and soft spoken. never got angry, went along with anything. probably in jail or in some legal trouble right now.

SCORPIO

❌you wanna fuck me. lol i know you do and you’ve made it clear as the only thing you want me for. came up to my room and tried to barge in after i told you not to. kinda creepy. quiet. doesn’t say much. always seemingly where i am. in my same major, soooo tall, soft spoke voice. 

❌oh boy. obsessive. possessive, jealous. we were good friends. then you fell in love with me. i didn’t think of you that way. you told me it was okay and then began to blow up my phone with messages, text my friends to ask where i was and blow up on me when i said we needed space and cursed me out. safe to say we don’t talk anymore. when i blocked you, you emailed me an apology and asked my friend to tell me you’re sorry and give me your letter. overthinks a lot. always needs to be in the know and/or control. consuming. reallll timid and unconfident. weed addict. total beta male.

❌you’re sexy. i’ll give you that. and you’re smart. you pop and out of my life. easy going. sweet. quiet, distant and a little annoying with your wishy washyness. i took your virginity 😬 lmao yikes. always around a group of females. nice hair, always played in mine. really funny and the times where you matched my energy it was magic. 

SAGITTARIUS

❌lol uh i knew you in high school. went to harvard. super super attractive, very competitive and very funny. had a pretty chill vibe. i wanted to kiss you. had perfect teeth, the valedictorian of the class before me. 

❌a hardass, lol. sees things like they’re black and white. has a funny side, hilariousssss but in a mean kind of way. doesn’t show much emotions but you know he cares. blunt. caring in his own way. took me to get my first tattoo. affectionate in a awkward pat back type of way. when he sees me sad, he helps best he can although that’s not always in the best of ways. helped me get through my grammy’s death. my dad. 

CAPRICORN

 ❌ah the fwb that turned into my boyfriend. we should’ve never happened. i care for you but a relationship was a bad idea. we started based off sex. was fucking a lot of girls when when with me (9 of them lmao yikes 😬) aloof, funny, dorky, another anime buddy. thinks he knows everything, thinks he’s a god (literally), an emotional baby when it comes down to it. made me his reason and told me he loved me. i regret telling you i loved you too. gas s god complex and wants things to come to him with minimal effort. 

❌ahh, you always had a thing for me. you and everyone else told me. held my umbrella for me while we walked in the rain. told me i was perfect, always promised that you’d marry me. pop in my life from time to time. down with anything. 

AQUARIUS

❌ ahhh the forbidden fruit. distant, friendly, charming, a liar. very sexual, always complimented me and once told me he loved me(yikes). really cute, made me feel special, has been trying to get me for yrs. not sure if it’s just sex or if it’s more but not giving myself the chance to be hurt and find out. sometimes i wonder what we could’ve been but the drama attached to your back makes me think otherwise. i still think of you from time to time. great kisser. 

PISCES 

❌my self proclaimed older brother. really knowledgeable, wise, sweet, loves his girlfriend with all his heart. encourages me to open up. supports me the best way i need, not always want lol. funny, a meme lord, hilarious in a subtle way. knows he’s that bitch. has almost all female friends but still retains his masculinity perfectly stronger than he lets on. an absolute blessing. helped me learn to love who i was and to be open to living others.

❌a wanna be gangster. lmao wants to fuck me but not happening. a big ball of unsorted through emotions. needs to get over his toxic masculinity but soft, caring. a big ass baby. unfaithful and childish. needs to learn his self worth within himself. daddy issues.

[penzyroamin]

So some of yall wanted that soft Waitress-inspired Javid au

Okay so

Setting the scene-- everyone lives in a small suburb. Kath, Crutchie, Spot, and a few of the others go to a university in the nearest big city, Race, Mush, Blink, and Romeo go to community college, and Sarah, Jack, and Specs go to this fancy arts school. (Sarah for fashion, Jack for painting, and Specs for dance, the flexible wizard that he is.) And Davey, as just the beginning of his stress, is taking night classes at the community college to slowly work towards a degree.

Why is Davey taking night classes, you ask? Because he’s working full time at a diner/coffee shop/cafe/we don’t give a single fuck what you call us just tip properly that Jacobi technically owns, but Davey basically runs, because Jacobi is an old man and Davey is too stressed out to let an old man handle the finances.

But why the everloving hell does Davey have to overwork himself that much? Because Esther and Mayer died a few years ago, and Davey is the main source of income, desperately trying to keep Sarah in her insanely expensive school and Les in high school, because dammit, Sarah’s too talented and Les is too young for them to have to give up. So most are in some of their last years of college, and some of them work at Jacobi’s.

And those who work at Jacobi’s are getting front row tickets to Davey’s Internal Breakdown. Kath in particular is their main barista and is getting more and more worried about Davey, considering he’s their main baker and still takes up all their management duties. When she finds out that he’s their only early morning baker, she sort of flips. Because, well, he’s getting four, maybe five hours of sleep a night, tops. And then when he starts yelling at a rude soccer mom who didn’t tip Crutchie despite changing her order three times, she decides to step in.

And that’s how Operation G.D.L., or “Get Davey Laid” is formed. Kath, Race, and Crutchie drive themselves to the edge of their sanity scouring through what the know about Davey for information on his “type”, and then, at 9:00, while clearing out stale pastries, Race strikes gold.

“Do you think he might be gay?”

All three of them are silent for like ten minutes, just sitting there, and then Crutchie just announces “HOLY FUCKING S H I T.”

Kath decides to take a visit to the Jacobs residence and check their theory. It is confirmed. Extremely confirmed. When she asks, Sarah literally chokes on a BBQ chip and starts laughing, because d u h. And so, Kath leaves with new information and a tupperware of Davey’s apple crumble that Les snuck her.

So they turn their attention to grilling every single guy in any of their schools to see if he’d be right. They waste maybe a month on community college and university guys before Race has another epiphany.

Jack Kelly, his boyfriend’s adopted brother who goes to art school with David’s sister. Obscenely attractive and can be counted on to make the first move. Also, the biest person to walk the earth since William Shakespeare himself. He’s perfect, they decide. And so, their plan is made.

Medda is a friend of everyone at the cafe, and especially a friend to Davey. She’s the closest he has to a mother figure, and has offered many times to provide financial aid for Sarah’s school. So Kath knows that if Jack stops by, Davey will consider it his duty to say hello. And then she off-handedly mentions that it’s his break, and Jack is ushering him over to sit down and have a scone.

After only a few minutes, it becomes transparently clear that G.D.L. has to become M.S.D.M.T.B.B.G.T.S: Make Sure Davey Marries This Boy Because Godammit They’re Soulmates. And it takes a full day of peer pressure before Davey’s like “Oh yeah I got his number lol”. And they just. Weren’t aware he could function like an actual human being at times.

Cut over to Davey and he’s talking to Jack about how he likes 80s movies and always wanted a boy to stand on his lawn with a boom box. Jack’s just sorta like *side eyes emoji*.

They text each other and meet at the diner for about a month, and eventually Jack’s like “Okay can we go on like... an actual date. Cause I like you a lot?” And Davey, bless his heart, has a moment of internal conflict. On one hand: full time job and night classes taking up all of his time. On the other: this incredible, sweet, secretly dorky, really cute guy likes him and wants to date him.

He says no, because since when is Davey good at self preservation? And Jack is like “Wait are you okay” because boy howdy he is not looking steady on his feet and Davey just. Spills everything. In the middle of the cafe. Tells him about his parents, about his classes, about everything. And then just sorta... flees. Takes his lunch break in the 7-11 bathroom.

He gets home from class later than usual, at like 11:45, and is temporarily scared shitless because he thinks he sees a burglar. He tells himself nothing’s wrong, and goes up to the Jacobs Sibling Apartment, and gets ready to sleep for three hours, and then. Hella loud music. For no reason. Like any self respecting person clinging to minuscule amounts of rest, he heads to the window to cuss the person out.

It’s Jack. Standing outside in three layers, holding a wireless speaker over his head. He sees Davey staring and yells “I KNOW IT’S NOT A BOOM BOX, BUT I’M NOT AS STRONG AS I LOOK.”

Davey’s neighbors start to cuss him out as Davey clambers downstairs in a bathrobe, tank top, and pajama pants to catapult himself at the boy who’s willing to stay up till midnight in November to ask him out.

Jack turns out to be a specialist in cheesy speeches. The jist of this one: I know you have a lot on your plate, but I’m willing to try my best to make us work, even if that means staying up until midnight every Friday to take you to the 24 hour market to eat fried chicken in the car. Davey actually starts crying, (he’s a big softie shhhh) and he kisses Jack so hard poor boy almost falls on his ass into a puddle.

Fast forward a year and a half later, Sarah’s graduated and getting a good paycheck working for a design company that Kath just so happens to have written an exclusive on. Romeo and Specs find themselves as matchmakers for the two. Davey was able to finally finish his first degree, and is getting a phd in biology (big nerd never got over his snake phase smh) while still working part time at the cafe, which Race has taken over with the help of Spot, who Davey managed to beat into a fairly good baker. Jack’s art career is going surprisingly well, and he credits 99% of his inspiration to his “nerdy boyfriend who cooks like the rat in Ratatouille”. Crutchie shocked everyone, got a masters, and is traveling Europe with a mysterious partner that no one knows a thing about. (Besides Davey, who knows everything about them and demands to be best man at the upcoming wedding.)

Davey’s the one who sucks it up and proposes, three years after they started dating. Literally no one is surprised. Davey tries to make the wedding cake a pie. Jack refuses. Davey still insists on making the cake.

They live happily ever after thanks for reading my bs byyyyeee.

[cornacopicimagines]

sansa knows best

pairing: jon snow x reader

prompts: 10,25,44,65

words: 1.6k

requested: @high-functioning-sociopath8

an: you might ship the reader and sansa of this,, sorry not sorry ;) ps i changed the request a little but, soz

masterlist

-

y/n had been happily strolling through the thick snowy ground of Winterfell. She admired most of the carving that had been perfectly etched into the stone. She felt oddly at home when she was at Winterfell. She was born in King's Landing to a hardworking whore that unfortunately feel pregnant with her. Though she would never speak of her heritage to another living soul, being a woman was hard but one that was also a bastard would have her being hit left and right with rotten tomatoes.

She made it through none the less and was finally happy with a new family of the Starks. She had been splendid that Ned and Catelyn were kind enough to let Y/n become an adopted child of theirs.  She had made all of the other Stark children fall for her sweet demeanour and charms, though she was older than half of them she still found peace when strolling with Sansa or exploring with Arya.

y/n loved Winterfell with all of her heart, she fought for the North and she will be happy to die for it anytime.

"y/n, I never thought you'd be admired these walls," a soft voice spoke, y/n could sense a small drop of humour and quickly turned to face the person. There paced towards her was the red-head herself. Sansa had been smiling at her as if they had just gotten back from stealing her father's coat or robe. y/n happily brought Sansa into her grasp.

The two women held onto each other for a lasting moment before Sansa entangled their arms together and waltzed off to unknown places.

"I know I asked this yesterday, but how are you Sansa," y/n beamed lightly as she still had her eyes trained on the ground beneath her. Usually, if Sansa was in the company of another person other than y/n she would tell them to call her your lady, but to her she simply always let it slide.

"I am doing quite well now that Ramsay is dead," Sansa smiled brightly sighing out of relief as y/n peered u with hopeful eyes.

"Is it true, you fed him to his own hounds?" y/n asked quickly as she longingly awaited an answer from her auburn friend.

Sansa simply drew her orbs to y/n's and brought her face close to her face and whispered, "and I enjoyed every minute of it," Sansa pulled away and let out small chuckles as y/n copied her noise.

"He was a bloody pain in the arse if you ask me," y/n scoffed. Ever since Sansa married Ramsay all she wanted to do was shove a hot iron down his throat to shut him up. She always respected Sansa and still will, that was the only thing restraining her.

"I know, how do you think I felt, I was his fucking wife," Sansa spewed out in and the two girls burst out in laughter, y/n was clutching onto her dress for dear life as she couldn't breathe from laughing too hard and it seemed Sansa was in the same position.

"It seems you have horrible luck with men," y/n seered out as the pair continued to make their way to the main gardens. "I mean, Joffery was psychotic and Ramsay was abusive," y/n scoffed as she threw her head away from Sansa, "I would make a better husband, and I'm a woman!" y/n snorted loudly. They had already walked straight into the main gardens of Winterfell and the girls' eyes fell onto Jon as he was slashing down a much larger man than him.

"Speaking of love, when are you finally going to admit your feelings?" Sansa spoke roughly as she rolled her eyes at y/n while she still had her eyes glued on Jon. He was throwing his sword so gracefully that y/n's heart started to beat faster and louder that she swore she could hear it.

"I don't have feelings for Jon, that insane," y/n scoffed as she finally tore her attention away from Jon. Both girls had heard Jon courageously spoke that no one could defeat him in combat. Suddenly an idea popped into y/n mind. Starting to smirk widely, she drew her long sword from its holster. "I'll prove that I don't have feelings for Jon," y/n beamed mischievously and ran towards the large circle surrounding the dark-haired man.

"Ah lady y/n, come to enjoy the show?" Jon smirked widely.

"Oh I have, I've come to enjoy the view of your ass flat on the ground," y/n retorted as she stood her ground.

"Then prove it," he mimicked her stance.

The pair started to fling their steel towards each other, but being careful not to stab the opponent. It seemed the y/n was winning, she was running Jon into a corner when she went to slash him and Jon ducked behind her and quickly tore her footing. Jon laughed loudly as y/n got a mouth full of snow almost numbing her mouth. Sansa ad stepped through the thick cheering crowd and watched closely to the movements of Jon and y/n.

Angrily y/n stood back up and charged towards Jon and went to swing once again but luckily for Jon, he had already caught onto her feminine steps and turned to block the weapon. This went on for a while, one would try to strike the other, but they would stop the winning blow. It wasn't until Jon peered over to see Sansa looking straight at him then to y/n, implying suggestive themes. Immediately y/n took this time to take the blow at him.

Once again Jon thankfully locked the blow, except this time y/n face was so close to his that he could kiss her, which would be a bad thing to him. The two didn't stride away from each other but instead just gazed into each other's eyes and breathing heavily.

"I think it's a draw," Jon whispered huskily at her, making y/n knees wobbled slightly.

"I wouldn't be surprised," y/n quickly spoke back with confidence in tone. Both finally stepped away, as y/n took a boastful bow and strided away.

Sansa had made her way up to Jon, he slowly peered up to her and smiled lightly towards her.

"Talk to her," Sansa spoke harshly as her pale arms were drawn around her waist. Jon stopped midst in his tracks and started to avoid Sansa's hardening gaze on him.

"Who?" Jon had decided to play dumb with his sister even though he knew it would get him killed.

"For fuck's sake, y/n!" Sansa cried out as she threw her hands on her temple and rubbed softly. "Talk to y/n, so you can finally get with her,"

"I don't know what you talking about," Jon spoke lowly as he walked into the under decks of the courtyard.

"Don't play dumb with me, Jon," she was hot on his tracks and still she was angrily glaring at him. "You two are completely oblivious, everyone in fuckin' Winterfell is for it," Sansa explained still she couldn't match her eyes with his as Jon continued to glance away. "It's almost sickening how the both of you tease each other and gaze longingly if you need more reasons to man up; she likes you back," this peaked Jon's interest in the conversation.

"Really?" Jon smiled brightly at his sister.

"Gods, you really are oblivious," Sansa smirked widely.

"I'm going to talk to her right now," Jon beamed widely as he almost full sprinted up to her room and rushed to place three loud knocks on her wooden door. Jon stood there in complete silence as he waited for y/n to open the door.

The faster Jon's heart pumped the small steps to the entrance got louder when suddenly her bright face open it to meet with Jon's exasperated expression.

"Jon, come to mope about your defeat," y/n smirked as she placed her long arms at the bottom of her chest, pushing up her cleavage making Jon even more nervous.

"More or less, can I come in,' Jon spoke fully as he still tried to avert his eyes from her chest. She pulled one of her arms away and fled it inside, giving permission. Jon quickly ran inside wanted to avoid any public embarrassment if Sansa was wrong.

"I need to talk to you about something," Jon rushed out, almost frightening y/n in the process.

"Of course, but could you do me a favour?" y/n asked softly, painted a deep red on Jon's cheeks. She turned around slowly and pulled her h/c locks from her back and exposed the zip on her dress. "Can you unzip this for me?"  

"Anything for you," Jon said softly, he froze on the spot as he meant to say that in his head. He still slowly pulled the zip down from y/n's neck to the curves of her bum, he tried to pull his eyes away from her back, it was until y/n turned around to face him.

"What did you want to tell me?" she spoke softly as her e/c orbs flew up to his.

For some reason, Jon couldn't get a single word out even though he had teased her on countless occasions. He had subconsciously flirted with her multiple times yet now he couldn't utter a word even a noise, all he could do was look at her blankly and more admiringly than even and it seemed y/n caught wind of his position.

She reached up to his, placed of her soft palms on his rugged cheeks and brought her lips to his and pushed lightly on them.

Jon stood there for a split second before he roughly snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, pushing his lips harder against hers. They both continued to bask in each others glory, while the kissed.

Jon and y/n were so heated in that exact moment that they hadn't realised that Sansa was right outside leaning against the door frame with a wide smirk on her pale face. The couple turned swiftly to look at her.

"This isn't what it looks like," y/n spoke shyly a prominent blush forming on her cheeks.

"Actually it is," Jon shrugged as she swooped back into her kiss and started to lap at her once more. Sansa simply smiled even brighter as she turned around and closed the door slowly while doing a small victory dance outside.

Still, the pair hadn't turn away from each other and were still going at it, until Jon threw his arms underneath y/n legs and picked her up into his arms.

"Jon, please put me down," y/n yelled at him through stilled giggles and continuous kiss.

"As you wish," Jon spoke happily as he threw y/n on her cushioned bed and crawled over the top of her to continue a full night of concealed love that has finally been set free.

-

[producingnct-blog]

sometimes failure is better than success

jihoon/samuel fake dating au

requested by anon

honestly it all started in the weirdest way

jihoon had been friends for a few months when it happened

it wasn’t their fault that bae jinyoung was literally so pretty

they couldn’t keep their eyes off of him and so they bet on who would get to take him out first

(spoiler alert: none of them did)

jihoon and his group of friends, which consisted of samuel, euiwoong, seonho, gualin and hyungseob, were like the groups of friends that people see in the movies

they had lunch together everyday, they sat next to each other and they told one another everything

jihoon couldnt have asked for a better group of friends, really

but then again... he could

i mean, how was samuel considered a good friend if he insisted on crushing on the same guy as him????

jihoon didnt understand

for all everyone knew, jihoon had been crushing on jinyoung first!

he’d fallen in love as soon as they made eye contact (which in fact, did not happen bc jinyoung was always looking at the ground, but please. let jihoon be happy)

and jihoon had started talking about him to their friends just to be met with “i know right!!!”’s from samuel at everything he said

jihoon, the fucking gemini, had glared at him. “he’s mine, i saw him first.”

to which euiwoong had replied, after taking a bite of hyungseob’s sandwich. “hyung, you do realise he’s not food, right?”

maybe jihoon had ended up blushing a bit, but who was to blame him for that? he quickly shook his head, “thats not what i mean, woong. you know that.” then turned his head to samuel

“cmon sam, for real. i feel like this is my sappy romance story yk. you gotta let me have it.”

“but hyung, i like him too! look, im not gonna dislike him for you and neither will you. its bros before hoes, not bros before ros-”

gualin, at this, perked up “what even is this conversation that does not make any sense”

“yes it does, omg! bros equals friends, ros equals romance between bros ok lemme live jesus! but anyway, we aint gonna budge our asses for one anoter, we might as well fight for it. agaisnt each other”

“what??!???” “are you crazy???” “what the fuc- i mean what????”

jihoon looked terrified, but then he set up his tray a bit closer to him, smirking. “fine. whoever gets to take him out first, gets him. after losing you gotta give him up. and give me 20 bucks as well.”

“why are you saying its me whos gonna lose?? and why do i have to pay you??”

jihoon smiled mischiviously. “duh. because i want, obviously.”

and then it was set

they started playing games, trying to get jinyoung’s attention

samuel would write lyrics to songs he wanted to play to jinyoung

jihoon would daydream about coming up to jinyoung and telling him he wanted him to be his bae 

samuel would start laughing louder, so that he could call for jinyoung’s attention indirectly

jihoon would wear different neon laces everyday to be different and stand out in his crush’s eyes

and yet, jinyoung didnt care for either of them

“ugh, this is so hard jihoon hyung.”

“i know right? he hasn’t even looked in our way at least once”

“what is it that we’re doing wrong??”

“idk sam. maybe we should try to get his attention in another way?”

samuel stopped writing down the answer to his english homework of the day to look up at jihoon, who was wearing a frown on his face

“how so hyung?”

“well, we could try to make him jealous?”

“but how is that even going to work if he doesn’t notice either of us”

jihoon threw his pencil in the table, and rolling his eyes as he sighed

“i dont know okay???? i just want him to look at me and like me back, but he doesnt even know i exist”

“hey hyung... its okay, i get it remember? we’re the same. just... how do you think we can make him jealous then?”

jihoon smiled a bit at that, lifting his head from where he had laid it into his arms, “we could date someone”

“oh. who?”

“well. hyungseob and euiwoong are the only gays from our group of friends that are out, but they’re dating each other. so....”

“so....?”

“sooooo.... we could date each other!”

“WHAT oh my god no way”

jihoon pinched samuel’s arm, making the younger flinch away. “what do you mean no way, you punk! im damn handsome, smart, intelligent and funny! theres nothing not to like!”

“hyung.... get your head out of your ass and listen. i dont wanna date you omg. you literally are so.... annoying sometimes no offense. and you snore when you sleep!”

“omg sam shut the fuck up u idiot. firstly i am not annoying youre just not old enough to understand how real and amazing people like me function. secondly. bitch we aint gonna sleep together what the fuck is wrong with my snoring. you talk in your sleep!”

samuel shook his head. “this is seriously not gonna work hyung, what even went through your mind.”

“an idea, thats what. at least i try to come up with those and help ourselves!!!!!” jihoon sighed once again, throwing his hands up. “so are you in or what? we can give it a try right? for a week or two?”

“ugh. fine but if it doesnt work out im killing both you and myself.”

“wow.... thats sad”

“shut up and study”

it..... didnt work out

but also no one died

“ok. what is happening??” was the first thing that met them when they walked to their lunch table holding hands, gualin was currently staring at them both intensively

“listen. this is not weird i promise but we’re dating.”

“you’re what???????”

“dating, you dumbass.”

euiwoong fixed up his glasses, “when and why and how did this happen. am i in a alternative universe”

“ok what the fuck is so wrong with us loving each other” samuel tried not to gag at jihoon’s words, instead squeezing jihoon’s hand stronger

seonho stopped snacking on a chocolate bar “you have been crushing on jinyoung for weeks remember?”

hyungseob continued, “yeah and why wouldnt you tell us if you liked each other???”

at this jihoon started laughing, “im kidding jeez!!!” he then sat down and mentioned for them to sit closer

“we’re pretending-” “WHAT” “omg shut up gualin youre so loud. we’re pretending to date so that jinyoung will be jealous”

euiwoong sighed “im not even going to care this time around. you two are lost cases.”

hyungseob smiled as he pinched euiwoong’s cheek and jihoon fake vomited “ew. YOU are lost cases stop being so in love”

“you jealous hyung?” “omg shut up seonho”

“anyway woong. i am telling you that you should be more respectful to me. when im married to jinyoung, with kids that are twice your height and with more money than all your three next genarations, i wont remember you punk.”

“GOOD”

“OMG YOU FUCKING- I HATE YOU”

turns out fake dating samuel wasnt soooo bad

they hang out like they used to, the only difference was that they held hands a bit more

it still, however, didnt work for them as jinyoung never looked their way

therefore, ofc the obvious and only solution was for them to take their relationship to the next level and to kiss

they decided on a plan

jihoon would be walking to school and hed pass by jinyoung and smile at him casually, but then he’d fall

samuel would then see and help him up, ask if he was okay!! and then kiss his cheek

it was a good plan, really, it was a good plan BUT

fucking samuel didnt do shit! he stood there looking

which ended up in jinyoung looking up to see what had happened and walking towards jihoon to help him up

jihoon started blushing when jinyoung asked him if he was okay, and jihoon could only nod

at this samuel came closer to the two of them, glaring at jihoon but trying to cover it up with a smile “hey you okay baby?”

jihoon blushed at the pet name, how could samuel call him baby when he was talking with his crush. “im fine”

jinyoung then cleared his throar, “hm. im glad youre okay i should go. see you around i guess...”

“jihoon!!! my name is jihoon”

after jinyoung had left, samuel turned to jihoon “what the hell was that?”

“that do you mean??? you didnt even fucking try to help me. what was THAT???”

“i was... thinking. listen, why didnt you pretend??”

“fuck. because i was actually talking to him! and you had to ruin it all sam omg. cant you fucking let me win? youre such a sore loser.”

“what??? i was doing what you asked hyung! i was pretending.”

“whatever, im done. i dont want to pretend anymore. i got to talk with him alone, not by pretending.”

“what??? but how come you want to pretend and then you dont?!?!?”

“jeez sam dont make it that deep. we played a game, the game is over now. thats it, im gonna keep trying to get jinyoung and so will you”

“but hyung. i thought we were on this together?”

“hm no??? sam, we’re agaisnt each other”

samuel shook his head, rubbing his hands agaisnt each other, “fine.”

“fine!”

when samuel didnt answer, jihoon sighed “goodbye”

“where are you going??? it’s the middle of the day?”

“mind your business”

they didnt talk for two days, damn that gemini stuborn ass

samuel ended up reaching out to jihoon and apologising for overreacting, to which jihoon agreed and also apologised for doing the same

they sorted things out and promised to not let this jinyoung matter ruin their friendship 

everything was really great until jihoon started talking more with jinyoung

jihoon would cross ways with his crush and he’d actually hold his head up long enough to shoot him a smile

they’d say hi to each other if they saw one another

sometimes jihoon would even sit next to jinyoung for a few moments when he was alone

and jihoon was loving it until he noticed that samuel was growing sadder by the days

he was quieting down and focusing more on studying

and he was always avoiding him

jihoon could for the love of god understand why 

and he couldnt not talk about it, so he did ofc

him and samuel talked about it although the younger avoided saying the reason

jihoon let him be for a few more days but once the week mark passed, he got really worried

he thought that maybe it was because samuel was jealous that he’d lost and jihoon even went to the point of talking to him about giving up jinyoung just to let samuel be happy-

when he noticed exactly that. since when did samuel’s happiness become soooo important? sure it was always important, they were friends

but jihoon cared to the point of giving up on his crush just to see samuel happy???? that was new

jihoon then started thinking more about that and even talked to euiwoong about it, who told him that he was thinking of it as something more complex than it really was and that he should just talk with samuel

at first, jihoon didnt get it. but as he started missing his best friend more and more (since when did samuel become his best friend that he missed more than the others???)

he realised something had changed and he decided he really needed to talk with samuel about it

“hey”

“oh. hey hyung” samuel went to leave the bathroom

its not live jihoon purposefully stalked him there just to prove to himself that the younger was in fact avoiding him

“hey wait. we need to talk sam”

samuel shook his head quickly, “we dont. for real i swear im okay”

“i dont believe you. just talk with me please, for a second”

“fine hyung. here?”

“hm.... no, lets go to the seats okay?”

“okay hyung.”

they sat down in the outside of the school, close to each other but not too much

jihoon cleared his throat “ok so, ive been thinking. and listen. i really miss you sam. like ive been talking more and more with jinyoung but less and less with you and i miss you like crazy-”

“oh.”

“yeah. i.... dont know sam. i really miss you, what happened? we were fine but you started avoiding me. is it because i talk with jinyoung more than you? i...i. i could let you meet him. talk for real with him.”

“no, hyung. its not that.”

“really? then what? bc i swear sam, i’d give him up for you to be happy, for real.”

“really hyung? you’d. you’d do that? for m-me? seriously?”

“yeah. of course. is it really not because of that?”

“well. i guess technically it is. but hm. just hear me out and please dont hate me okay?”

jihoon nodded “of course not.”

i dont how or why but ive been feeling different... towards you. i was jealous yes, but then i realised i was jealous not because of jinyoung but because of you... hyung. i wanted to be him. i wanted you to be crushing on me and i know youre not and i know you wont. and im happy for you to be talking with him but. im sorry i just dont feel ready to be your friend right now.”

“oh hm. wow i didnt realise you felt that way. i.”

samuel shook his head, “part of me was hoping youd confess like in the movies yk? im... god im so stupid.”

“hey, dont say that. youre not. im too perfect, you cant resist me i get it-”

“not now hyung, please.” and the way samuel’s voice sounded so broken. it left jihoon speechless and at the same time wanting to scream out everything at the world.

“sam. im sorry i really am i didnt know you felt that way. i...”

“its okay hyung. i myself only realised when i talked with woong-”

“wait you talked with him too?”

“what? you talked with him?”

“yeah i asked for his help-”

“about what?”

“ohh. hm. oh. i.”

jihoon completely spaced out and he felt like he was in a movie. he felt like a character that just understood everything at once, like a stupid girl that didnt realise she liked her best friend over her crush. like a fool

“i wow sam.”

“what hyung? are you okay??????”

“jesus christ im dumb”

“i know. tell me something new.”

“bitch shut up listen i.... like you too omg- i cant believe it but i do.”

“what?? you just daydreamed for two minutes straight and now youre back and u like me??? dont play me like that. i thought you were better than this-”

“omg sam shut up let me talk. i talked to woong because i needed help reaching out to you. i was so worried! i even told you that i’d give jinyoung up for you and you talking with woong just reminded me of what he said... and its true. i was making it out to be too complicated when in fact its so simple. i like you, plain and easy.”

“are you sure??????”

“yeah sam. i am, i really am. i feel like i have a bulb over my head.”

“you might as well, what you just said was more moving and inovational than the creation of ipads.”

“damn im blessed to have such a nice boyfriend that compliments me so much! i mean, wait no.”

they both blushed, the losers.

“so.... boyfriend huh?”

“what the fuck gualin since when were you there????”

they ended up discovering a week later, as they held hands under the lunch table, giggling and blushing over the touch, that jinyoung had been dating daewhi for months.

[bwicblog]

SS: (Sipa!!! (\qnq/ )

AH: oh it's the dumbass wonder himself

SS: (I ain't the dumbass this time, pal!)

AH: reeeaallly

SS: (Ain't nobody told me this ish was paid entry!)

AA: unless she gets cull-happy, and, then, idk. hollern?? AA: scrneam like a damsel to match yrn outfit. >:P

AH: oh my god

AA: laaaaaaal.

SS: (What!)

AH: where are you

AH: I'll come pay for whatever, you stupid fuck

SS: (Hoppin a fence, why?)

AA: you said sipa!!

AA: holy shit, dude, i totes told you when we parnked.

AH: LMAO

AA: it isn't my fault you went to go live in the ablution stall.

invertedDissident has sent chillingwithprismatotesalive.png!

SS: (I mean, uh, I'm bein a totes upstandin citizen that's practicin his wall-scalin skills and deffo ain't about to break a walkfrond.)

AH: get your dumb ass down, I'll come get you in so they don't THROW YOU OUT, stupid asshole

AA: no, fuck that. gimme yrn deets and i'll boost you overn. >:}

AH: when you were hatched did they remove your pan

SS: (Also, fuck you, I ain't heard nothin you said when we parked over the sound of my life replayin in my ears, and also your loud af bike.)

AA: paying is forn ppl too cool to brneak in.

AH: and you're a miracle wonderwriggler who functioned without it

AA: btw hads gj on being alive. AA: i'm prnoud, keep it up. >:P

AA: is that prnisma??

ID: totes prisma.

SS: (I'm a strong independent dumbass who don't need no woman, by which I mean brb I think I either just got caught or some sucker's takin a leak like ten feet from me.)

AA: tell me when you loserns arne fishfrnee and we can get pizza. AA: and - lmaooo.

AA: if you rnipped yrn shit, yrn gonna have to let phern drness you, beeteedubs.

AH: woooow

ID: is there even pizza around here. also prisma doesn't like pizza remember. hella rude.

AA: mb he hasn't eaten the rnight K I N D of pizza.

AA: and idk, idk. AA: therne's, like, big fucking cluckbeast legs. if they got that. AA: they gotta have rneal food, rnight? >:?

LL: (Breakin news!) LL: (Unlike the news, my walkfrond's totes not broken, tho I'm p sure the buntwin's chatterbox might be on accounta she's clearly contacted some sorta laughin disease alongside whatever parasite's eaten her sponge sufficient-like that she ain't fond of my outfit.)

LL: (And also, like, the fashionable twigs in my fluff.)

LL: (Also, the party's totes arrived!) LL: (To a place what smells real pizza-like.)

LL: (Also, wait, oh em gee.)

LL: (Buntwin, help me hide my ish, I want a boothbabe outfit, too! (\+^+/) )

AA: omggg. see, hads? T O T E S a pizza place all up in herne.

LL: (P sure it's called sommat fancy-like, like artisan-topped flatbread!)

LL: (But it's totes pizza.)

AA: okay, okay, so, like: AA: i have located the pizza place! AA: and lal, you can look behind you... AA: just about

ID: where is the pizza place. i'm hella hungry.

AA: yrn always fucking hugnrny.

AA: hungrny.

LL: (Just look for the new Empress, she's up and arrived!)

ID: ps i'm the emperor of knives now and i have the monkey to prove it.

AA: omfg.

LL: (Our queen overlord of the assholes.)

AA: is this a rneal monkey orn a dead monkey??

ID: neither.

AA: and y, ty, lal. yrn only allowed to addrness me by that title now btw.

AA: it is my new name, it's grn8.

LL: (You mean you up and got a bananabeast and it ain't for eatin?)

AA: ... how is it neithern??

LL: (And duh, I just said I'm gonna be up and respectful-like.)

LL: (Holy overlord queen asshole.)

ID: it's a stuffed animal.

LL: (Stuffed with food?)

AA: so it's a dead monkey!

ID: hold on i'll try to get pheres to hold it while i take a pic.

ID: i'm at the stall. prisma got tired.

invertedDissident has sent themonkeyhaschosenabride.png!

AA: aww. phern's got a coon. and coffee. AA: make him sharne and come hang w/ us!! >:} we'rne way

AA: tyrnian tits, dude, that's fucking huge.

LL: (Dude, I bet it's bigger'n me!)

AA: a doornstop's biggern than you, that ain't imprnessive.

LL: (Make Prisma sleep on that!)

AA: i bet it's biggern than prnisma, tho.

LL: (You ain't bigger'n me! (\eue/) )

ID: they only hand out these to the best of the best. at knife throwing.

AA: which: yyyyyyy!

AA: >:{

AA: ... whaaaaat, wherne do we get to thrnow knives?

AA: i bet i could thrnow knives bettern.

AC: Ø Prisma's resting peacefully. .u. Ø

LL: (I mean, you could be, if you had, like, a rack worth any height, but alack.) LL: (Peeps up and say alack in fairs like this, right?)

AC: Ø I'm making sure he's comfy. Ø

ID: in the event square. me and prisma faced off but i walked away with the monkey.

AA: people say stfu. >:P

AA: and y, good. see, grneenie, this is why yrn T O T E S employee of the pernigee.

ID: neither of you can talk about horn height, you nubsters.

LL: (Dude, that's great!) LL: (I'm great at shuttin up!) LL: (Like, a real pro at it!) LL: (Let me tell you 'bout how good I'm at shuttin up!) LL: (Cos it's, like super good!) LL: (Ain't nobody better at it!)

AC: Ø .u. I don't really have a lot of competition but I appreciate it! Ø

AC: Ø I mean, it's just Dolora and Zvezda besides me. Ø

AA: hads. AA: haaaaaaaaads. AA: haaaaaaaaaaaaaads. AA: come save lal beforne i shove pizza down his thrnoat. >:P

LL: (No, don't.)

AA: n, wait, arntisanal flatbrnead.

ID: i mean if it means i get to eat, sure.

LL: (I'm okay with this death.)

AA: ....... mb you'll get to eat.

LL: (Totes aces.)

AA: brning the monkey.

LL: (Omg.) LL: (Y, bring it!)

LL: (I wanna see if I'm up and taller.)

LL: (Cos we both know Sipa ain't. (\unu/) )

ID: fine. i will bring my war prize.

AA: yyyyyyy, good. >:}