#and two-three rocketjumpers(?)

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

[the base lost power LMAO. the guys r fine though. their eyes (and footmuncher's (cock and) thighs) glow in the dark. anyway]

[rocketjumper is swirling energon around in a cube. she's developed a liking to a spicy flavor.]

[bonecrusher is sitting right next to rocketjumper, cradling footmuncher in his arms for good luck.]

[patchwork is outside in the freezing blizzard working his magic alongside groundrumbler.]

[nebula is in orbit. she's watching PW & GR work their magic. she spots a blue light off in the distance, and focuses in on that to see what autobot it is.]

[pov shift to kitchen gang.]

FM: this is just like the trenches. primus. so serene in sheer darkness.

BC: i hope one of the fuses hadn't went. rockie, how long did you say your internal heating system could last for?

RJ: it's an emergency system, i think. three day battery at full charge. or did you mean the things patchie surgically bestowed upon me?

BC: yeah, the things patchwork installed into you. how long do those go for?

RJ: about two weeks at a time. runs on my energy though, so if i run out i'm gonna need an e.s.s. revive.

BC: mmm.

FM: should get a better fuel source. don't wanna die cuz u wanna keep warm.

RJ: that's what i told patchie. he said he didn't have any better models in storage, and he also said he didn't want me 'butt-chugging oil to keep warm' with the older ones. which... not a pleasant image.

BC: ...yeah, no, that sounds unsafe.

FM: as unsafe as eating organs?

BC: a little less sanitary, i think. but yeah.

RJ: wat? how is eating organs more sanitary than butt chugging fossil fuels?

BC: fossil fuels smell horrible. guts don't smell earthy. also, guts feel nice.

FM: i know one organ that definitely feels nice.

RJ, BC, FM: [collective giggling]

= [pov shift: the engineering team.] =

GR: why is this so intricate in the first place, patch?

PW: i don't like it when bots fuck with my power. if someone - primus forbid a patient - fucks with my power, i'm putting them on my table for emergency surgery.

GR: hah. nice. i'm the same way with my privacy bubble. hey, speaking of which, am i still asexual if i wanna interface?

PW: i... need to do more research on that. pass a fuse?

GR: oh, y-

N: hey, ground team, there's a blue light heading towards the base. the bot seems relatively tall, could be a maz model vehicle mode.

GR: now, who do we know that has a maz variant for a vehicle mode?

N: very funny, rumbles. i'll keep watching the light, you just work on the power generator. over.

PW: thank you for the report, nebula. over 'n' out.

GR: ...which wrench should i use on the rings?

PW: i believe the... the clamp wrench should be good for the rings. if you can get a good angle and enough leverage on each nut, at least.

GR: alright. let's see... [clamp.]

= [pov switch: the kitchen gang.] =

[bonecrusher left to go investigate a noise. he'll be back soon.]

RJ: -it... glows in the dark when you're horny.

FM: hegehee,,, yeah.

RJ: you think it'll glow in my mouth?

FM: probably? you wanna test that hypothesis right now?

RJ: of course i do. just wanna check on nebula real quick, see how she's doing.

FM: alright.

[rocketjumper tunes into the comms.]

RJ: rocketjumper to nebula, how's it going up there?

N: good! there's an autobot coming close to the base and they seem friendly. kinda looks like cake.

RJ: oh, that's nice. thanks for letting me know, nebbs.

N: you're welcome. gonna keep watch on the engineers, see you soon.

RJ: see you soon.~ [she tunes out of the comms.]

FM: so? what did she say?

RJ: autobot incomin'. she says it might be cake.

FM: [very quick gasp] two rocketjumpers !!

RJ: [deep giggle.] anyway, hypothesis time. [she flips footmuncher upside down, gulping his tentacle-y cock down like it's nothin'.]

FM: [very soft moan...] oh, hey, it does glow in your mouth! that's pretty sweet.

RJ: gghuh du nnoe. [she flips footmuncher around again.] (good to know.)

[bonecrusher appears from the hallway, taking his seat back.]

BC: heyy, fellas. nice glow-in-the-dark cock, munchbutt.

FM: thank you,,,

[rocketjumper hands footmuncher to bonecrusher.]

RJ: any idea what the noise was?

BC: meh. looked like a pipe bursted, so i ripped it out and fixed it.

RJ: huh. wonder why it broke... cool to know. speaking of:

FM: cake's coming to visitttt

BC: oh, amazing! she'll be able to see katyusha today, i think, if she's awake.

FM: THREEROCKETJUMPERRRSSSSSSSSSS

RJ: [impotent giggles]!!!

BC: primus, dude, what is your obsession with rocketjumper and her lookalikes?

FM: i want to be sandwiched inbetween all three of them at the same time.

BC: ...me too.

= [pov switch: the engineering team] =

GR: -STUPID FUCKING GENERATOR!! FUCK! OWWW!!!

PW: i TOLD you not to touch the fuses already in the generator, groundrumbler!

GR: GRGGHRHGHGHHGRGHHGHGHGRGRGRGHR-

PW: [sigh]. just stick your hand in the snow, it'll be fine.

GR: ow... fuck. sorry. now what?

PW: should just be... closing up the generator and letting it work its magic.

GR: ...seems easy enough.

[slow stomping coming closer from off in the distance]

PW: huh. i think that's the autobot nebula was talking about.

GR: didn't someone say her name was cake? are you having plot blocks?

PW: ...oh yeah, cake. i remember hearing her talk one day while i was workin' on sketching tricky down in my little work-note-book.

GR: yeah, there you go. you think she has any beef?

PW: should be fine.

GR: mmm. gen's fixed. let's head back inside before our joints freeze solid.

PW: really? i was starting to get used to the snow! [/s]

GR: move it, asshat.

[patchwork giggles to himself, and climbs down from the roof, allowing groundrumbler to do so himself. as he does, patchwork catches him in his arms, walking into the base with groundrumbler in tow.]

[Cake catches up and gets her hand under the door before it has a chance to close.]

PW: greetings, gentlemen. rocketjumper.

RJ: 'ello there, doc.

[Cake opens the door -- though damaging its systems in the process - whoops --- and allows herself inside.]

Cake, a little winded: Primus. Hi. Heard there was someone new over here. Wanted to get here as soon as I could. How's it going?

RJ: it's uhhhhh... good. you okay there?

Cake: Me? Totally. Nothing happened.

FM: ...cake, why are you bleeding?

Cake: Someone got grumpy. That's all. Okbye [She rushes into Patchwork's office.]

PW: ...[looks over to bonecrusher]

BC: [gaze switching between patchwork and the hallway]

RJ: ...uhm. patch, you should... you should go check on her, i think.

GR, to himself: why is everything going wrong today?

[patchwork drops groundrumbler onto the floor, running into his office and locking the door.]

GR: [sigh]. [he gets onto his feet.] well. no one tell katyusha, and everything will be fine.

FM: why aren't you at least suspicious??

GR: too cold to be suspicious. i need a nap. enjoy worrying for cake, lads. [he heads down to his room.]

RJ: ...

BC: [he tunes into the comms.] did you get all that?

N: i'm surveying the continent for hostiles as we speak.

BC: thank you nebula. if the hostile's a popular character, alert me. if otherwise-

N: blast them into shittereens?

BC: you got it. bonecrusher out. [he tunes out of the comms.] now, uhm... anyone for a movie?

FM: i think i wanna go check on rumbles. he's not that uncaring, right?

BC: ...mmm... no, i don't assume so. go check on him.

[footmuncher hops out of bonecrusher's arms, trotting down the hallway.]

RJ: so... today's weird. why's...

BC: y'know what i think that it's just the paranoia sneaking in. how do you suppose we should get our minds off it?

RJ: you suggested a movie. any good ones in mind?

BC, getting out of his seat: i'm quite curious about there will be blood. see you in bed. [he rolls down the hallway.]

RJ: mhm... [she gets out of her seat as well, grabbing some snacks from the fridge and joining bonecrusher.]

================================================ ================-[ some time later. ]-================= ================================================

[bonecrusher is falling asleep in rocketjumper's already unconscious arms. nebula sends a ping through the comms, and bonecrusher answers.]

BC: ...yes?

N: you have a problem.

BC: what's their name?

N: (TFP!)megatron.

BC, immediately filled with rage: [growl.] checking the front door. [he tunes out of the comms. he shakes his wife.]

RJ: ...mmgh.. what?

BC: get katyusha in with patchwork and cake. someone's at the door and i think he's angry.

RJ: affirmative. [she rolls out of the bed, heading right out of the bedroom door.]

[bonecrusher heads left, knocking on patchwork's office door.]

[the door creaks open.] PW: hey, bonecru-

BC: rocketjumper and katyusha are coming in. don't answer the door for anyone else.

PW: why?

BC, raising his eyebrows: why else?

PW: ...megs. right. you can trust me.

[bonecrusher nods, heading to the bunker door.]

BC: ...wait.

[bonecrusher rolls to marrowbomber's room, knocking on the door. the door opens.]

MB: whaddaya need?

BC: megs is here. need you to prep incase he gets violent.

MB: mmm. i got your back.

BC: good.

[bonecrusher rolls once again to the bunker door. marrowbomber closes his bedroom door.]

BC: [he tunes into the comms.] where is he?

N: 20 meters from the front door.

BC: preparing to attack?

N: negative.

BC: thank you. prepare to blast him incase he gets aggressive.

N: you got it. nebs out.

[bonecrusher rubs his hands, hopping up and down in place, psyching himself up to meet megatron. in the hallway, patchwork is letting katyusha and rocketjumper into his office, and once he closes the door, he can be heard barricading it.]

BC: ...alright. megatron awaits.

[the bunker door opens almost aggravatingly slowly, revealing the sharp set of toes that've likely stomped many a helm, balled-up fists filled with bloodlust, and the mountainous, spiky pauldrons of everyone's favorite space meth addict, tfp!megatron.] (which... i'm not sure whether to type his dialogue in autobot or decepticon stylized text... well, he's pretty important. he gets autobot text for now.)

TFP!Megatron: Ahh, the Claw of ('07!)Megatron. How's the cannibalism situation going, my friend?

BC: fairly well. how's the dark energon addiction?

TFP!Megtron: I regret to inform you I'm not capable of shaking it yet. In the future, I'm sure I can get a lowly bot to assist me in such a matter, but for today, I have... different... intentions.

BC: [his mining claw twitches.] mmm. shall we discuss them in the kitchen?

TFP!Megatron: If you so wish.

[Megatron scans the environment as he enters Bonecrusher's base of operations. It all seems... very... what's the word? Unnatural. Megs hadn't seen any other bases stylized in such a human manner, especially not from a Decepticon who despises humans such as Bonecrusher does. For starters, the 'kitchen'... what is the purpose of the monument in the center? And the mettalic, cold box in the far corner? His optics slide over to the "living" "room" as he and his thunderous feet venture over to the kitchen. A monitor, coal in color, reflective in nature, and an unusually soft and long throne. The throne has an unusual pattern adorned upon the back. To add to that, no hand-rails like Optimus' hideout in Nevada. Megatron raises an eyebrow, and he feels Bonecrusher's own optics analyzing his every move. He's out of his element within this building.]

[bonecrusher knows this, and he's comforted by the thought. if only a little bit.]

[Megatron takes his place upon an unusually-shaped seat that looks like something he would place a hapless victim upon for torturing.] (in this house we adore extending sentences as much as possible)

BC: [he takes a seat across from megatron.] so, then. what're you visiting for, megatron?

TFP!Megatron: Oh, nothing special... I simply had a falling out with one of your co-horts and wished to take it up with you. Tell me, Bonecrusher, has your conjunx ever considered betrayal?

BC: [tch. no one's told megatron about rocketjumper's lookalikes yet, hmm? great. just wonderful. welp. here we go.] megatron, my conjunx -- my wife. -- would never consider betrayal unless it were forced upon her. she is loyal to the decepticon cause, and she always has been. there is nothing, at all, that can dissuade her from turning to another side.

TFP!Megatron: [He quietly snarls. Bonecrusher's lying? To his face? What incompetence.] Then why, may I ask, have I seen her adorning an Autobot insignia upon her carapace?

BC: [he attempts to lead megatron on to the idea of there being more than one rocketjumper.] tell me, megatron... was she white in color?

TFP!Megatron: [He hadn't considered that. He simply saw what looked to be betrayal, and fired upon her. How outrageous for Bonecrusher to assume that he could be wrong! Megatron asserts himself, launching out of his chair.] White in...? What sort of question is that?! The color of one's armor does not matter if they are on the enemy team, Bonecrusher, surely you must know this! How long have you been out of battle for?! That must be messing with your processor to assume that such details are worth thinking of!

BC: [bonecrusher ALMOST loses his temper as well. megatron... oh the space meth must've fucked with his own processor.] megatron, calm yourself. such details are of course important, especially if you fire upon the wrong rocketjumper. let me explain it to you in terms that you can actually understand.

[bonecrusher's mining claw forces megatron back down into his seat, as he climbs onto the kitchen island, stomps across it, and gets in megatron's face. stabbing three fingers into his cheek for good measure.]

TFP!Megatron: GET Y-

BC: [fuck it.] YOU WILL COOL YOUR JETS, MEGATRON OF KAON, ELSE YOU WILL BECOME MY NEXT MEAL. YOU WILL NOT RAISE YOUR VOICE AGAIN WITHIN THE WALLS OF MY BASE. YOU WILL CEASE TO KEEP UP YOUR REPUTATION, ELSE YOU WILL BE OFFLINED WITHIN THE SECOND. DO YOU COMPLY?! [his voice echoes across antarctica, let alone his own base.]

TFP!Megatron: [...Megatron hadn't had the fear of Primus stricken into him from anyone, aside from Bumblebee and his first gladitorial duel, such like Bonecrusher was able to. He doesn't understand how he'd done it... and yet, he feels as if he must comply. He ceases his resistance, adjusting in his seat accordingly. ...Also, his face hurts now.] Yes. I apologize. It was foolish of me to assume such incompetence of you, Bonecrusher. Now, ahem... explain to me why I'm wrong in attacking an enemy, if you so please.

BC: [...huh... uhm. he wasn't confident that that would work. well. good. alright. he takes a seat on the kitchen island.] good. good. i'm assuming here that the other megatrons hadn't bothered to explain to you how lookalikes work. i'm sure you must know how they work from the insecticons, as well as skyquake and dreadwing, correct?

TFP!Megatron: [He nods.] Correct.

BC: alright. are you aware that my wife, rocketjumper, also has lookalikes?

TFP!Megatron: [He realizes his mistake. Disappointment washes over his frame, as he holds his head in his hands. After a moment, he raises his helm up to face Bonecrusher again.] ...It had not occured to me, no.

BC: [there we go.] you have shot such a lookalike. her name is cake, if you hadn't known that either. i say again, rocketjumper has not and will not -- EVER -- betray the decepticon cause. cake has never had a taste of the cause. there exist two other lookalikes, as well. would you like to hear the details of all three, or would you like to exit my base and never enter again?

TFP!Megatron: I would like to hear of the details of these lookalikes.

BC: as you wish. [he whips out a clipboard, with some sheets of paper on it.] for the first lookalike, cake. she is an amicable, polite femme, equipped with ion blasters, similar to those of your nemesis optimus prime, as well as armblades near-identical to my own wife. her armor comes in white camouflage paint, ice blue eyes, and cubic, blocky shaping. i feel as if she doesn't wish to meet with you, however, due to your fire-on-sight policy.

[bonecrusher flips the first paper.]

BC: the second lookalike is a femme more similar to rocketjumper than that of cake: for the longest time, we've known her as 'autobot rocketjumper' due to her being my own wife, but twisted and molded into a weapon by that of my own nemesis, who also happens to be an optimus prime. we've donned her with the new name of 'katyusha', however, and we hope you call her katyusha as well. now, her armor is a shade away from my wife, and it is -- i kid you not -- riddled with scars, bruises, and injuries beyond reason. if she was an astronomical object, she'd be an asteroid with all of the marks on her frame. it's horrifying how horrible her treatment was, i believe.

[he flips the second paper.]

TFP!Megatron: How does Katyusha think of me, do you think, Bonecrusher?

BC: not well. i've warned her of your reputation. she doesn't like you.

TFP!Megatron: ah. :(

BC: now for the third lookalike... which might as well be a new character with the pain she's been through so far. we've not adorned her with a nickname yet, but right now we're calling her abomination in search for something less mean. this version of rocketjumper -- which i want to say, she and katyusha are alternative universe versions of rocketjumper. sorry for the confusion. -- was on an energon run that went astronomically horrible for her. i'm... not going to discuss what she had to do to survive the bombing that she underwent. just know that she's bulkier than the other two lookalikes, as well as my wife.

TFP!Megatron: [He notices that Bonecrusher's been calling Rocketjumper a different term... a 'wife'. What is that...?] Heh... I have an offtopic detail I'd like to bring up.

BC: go ahead.

TFP!Megatron: Why are you calling Rocketjumper your... 'wife'?

BC: well, i've got more than one conjunx.

TFP!Megatron, perplexed: what.

BC: i have two - working on a third - conjunxes. rocketjumper is my first and my wife, footmuncher is my second as well as my husband, and i've noticed that bunkerbuster seem to be... a bit attracted to me beyond the usual sexual feelings. i think i might talk to him after tonight.

TFP!Megatron: ...Okay. Mmm. I believe I need to recharge. [He gets out of his seat, approaching the bunker door.] Bonecrusher, I would like to ask if you'd let me in another time in the future, possibly to meet these lookalikes.

BC: just as long as your promise not to raise your voice.

TFP!Megatron: [He nods.] I promise.

BC: [he nods in return.] get out of my base.

[Megatron does so, transforming and flying off into the distance.]

[the bunker door closes automatically.]

[bonecrusher reaches for a drink from the energon cupboard, wondering how he managed to make megatron behave. maybe he dug his claws too deep. he giggles to himself, sipping a cube of strawberry flavored energon.]

N: ...huh.

[bonecrusher jumps off of the kitchen island, scrambling to get off of the floor.]

BC: jesus christ, nebula, at least warn me before you hop in.

N: [giggle.] sorry, bonecrusher. how the hell'd you calm megatron down like that?

BC: ...i blame plot magic.

[bonecrusher and nebula share a laugh.]

BC: go tell patchwork and everyone else that we're good. i'm gonna clean myself off.

N: oh, you- whoops! sorry about your energon, boss.

BC: don't worry about it... and don't call me boss. feels uncomfy, idk.

N: alright. have a good time, bonecrusher. i'm going to... take a nap on the couch, i believe.

BC: sweet dreams, nebula.

N: and you have a nice shower.

[bonecrusher heads down to the bathroom. nebula knocks on patchwork's office door to let him know that everything's fine, then going off to the couch to take a nap.]

[jacksgreysays]

Extremely late, completely unnecessary opinion of the Watcher situation, (2024-04-24)

So this is a relatively belated post — several days after the initial “Goodbye Youtube” and one day after the “An Update” videos — and surely by this point there are more interesting/insightful op-eds (both in written form and video form, especially penguinz0’s fairly objective POV as, essentially, a YouTube expert) but there is something about the Watcher situation that made my brain itch. Thus, I wanted to write about it in order to make sense of it all as well as get into a philosophy that seems to be haunting me in recent years and which I think applies greatly here.

This may seem completely out of left field considering 1) definitely not fanfiction and 2) about Watcher Entertainment, a YouTube channel which—as far as this tumblr is concerned—I’ve not engaged with whatsoever, but I don’t know where else I would put this, and weirdly enough I think the general tumblr response to this whole predicament is maybe the… if not objective… then at least, most thoughtful?—or, perhaps, least immediately reactive?—amongst the various social media platforms, that I think some people might appreciate this anyway.

In terms of my relevant background: I majored in Management Science (which is just a fancy way of saying Economics + Business + Accounting because they are, weirdly enough, separate things) and minored in Film Studies in school, I am currently working in the stage tech industry (which, I know, is obviously different from film/video industry), and I like to think I am a fan/consumer of a wide variety of independent creators, some of whom I am lucky enough to be able to afford being a patron/subscriber. I won’t go into all of them—because it is a lot—but there are four in particular whose business models I want to analyze in comparison to Watcher’s admitted blunder:

A) RocketJump (known for Video Game High School and Anime Crimes Division; the core group which turned into the podcast Story Break, then became Dungeons and Daddies) B) Dropout (formerly College Humor, we’ll get into their discography later) C) Drawfee (previously an offshoot of College Humor, now fully independent) D) Corridor Digital (used to be mostly behind the scenes of how VFX studios work, have since become a mostly original content creator)

I will say, right off the bat, I am a patron of Drawfee as well as Dungeons and Daddies, and I am a subscriber to Dropout. I am not subscribed to Corridor Digital’s streamer, which I will get into why later. I understand that being able to sustain those two patronages and one subscription is a luxury that not everyone can afford and so my point of view is already skewed by being such a person who could theoretically afford another streaming service if I so chose. I also acknowledge that many fans of Watcher are not in similarly financially secure places as I am and that regardless of the business model, any monetization that comes from fans would have been a rough ask. However, I wanted to go into this essay in a way that accepts Watcher’s statement—that they needed more funding—in relatively good faith rather than assuming the worst (although that is another point I’ll get into later, largely related to the philosophy I brought up earlier.)

All four of the above listed content creators started or, at least, hit their stride on YouTube:

RocketJump and College Humor were, if not household names, then the digital equivalent of it in the “early days of YouTube.” They were part of the wave of content creators that made YouTube seem less like a bunch of eccentrics with cameras making videos on the side and more like a viable way to support yourself/your team with the art you create.

RocketJump’s Video Game High School went from short (less than 10 minutes) minimal location episodes in season one, to 30 minute plus episodes with full on fight scenes and car explosions by season three thanks to a Monster Energy brand deal. They also had two seasons of Anime Crimes Division, a literal TV quality show, thanks to a Crunchy Roll sponsorship. Unfortunately, RocketJump shut down not long after (their videos are still up on YouTube but they obviously don’t add anything new) but the core creative team behind that have been involved in several projects outside of YouTube (Dimension 404 on Hulu being one of the biggest ones so far) including the podcast Story Break (part of the Maximum Fun network) and now the independent podcast Dungeons and Daddies, the episodes of the main campaigns which are free with ads or, for patrons, ad-less along with additional mini-campaigns and other benefits.

I will say, during RocketJump’s decline, they did try their best to keep going. The partnerships with Monster Energy and Crunchy Roll were the big swings to get the funding to make those TV quality shows they wanted. I believe they lucked out with those brands in particular, or, at least, those brands didn’t seem to inhibit the creative process or ask too much of them that it felt like “selling out” but I also don’t have insight into why they didn’t pursue this model of, essentially, very weird but interesting season long commercials. Maybe they just couldn't find the right brands or maybe they did feel like it was too stifling. Regardless, before they shut down completely, they did also downsize—moving out of the actual city of Los Angeles over to Buena Park. Which is in Los Angeles county, and basically counts as LA still, but is way cheaper than literal Hollywood real estate. (I should have added to my relevant background that I’m born and raised LA county, and have relatives and friends in the film/movie industry, so trust me when I say literal Hollywood/city of Los Angeles is so overrated and unnecessarily expensive. There is a reason why LA traffic is the worst and it’s because everyone is commuting INTO the city. Respectfully and with affection, no one should live there. No one’s start up should be located there.) Obviously the downsizing didn’t necessarily work for RocketJump, but they also didn’t have multiple successful revenue streams the way that Watcher currently does.

In contrast, College Humor was acquired by InterActiveCorp and was turned into CH Media which was three pronged: College Humor, Drawfee, and Dorkly. In 2018 they made Dropout, which had exclusive content separate from their YouTube videos which involved all three prongs. Then some financial shenanigans happened early 2020—IAC withdrew their funding—and there were a bunch of layoffs right before the pandemic which extremely sucked. It has been stated by multiple people involved that it was basically a miracle that Dropout survived through all of that, but there were definitely some sacrifices along the way to make that happen. Currently, Dropout seems to be thriving with mostly exclusive content with the occasional “first episode of a season” posted to YouTube, OR if Dimension 20 is doing a “sequel season” in an already established campaign they will put the entirety of the previous season on YouTube.

IAC withdrawing their funding did put CH Media in a bind. They had to layoff a lot of people right before pandemic and, understandably, a lot of trauma was had. There were also weird issues with who controlled certain IPs/brands/digital assets (I mostly come at this from a Drawfee POV, it took several years for them to own the Drawga series and be allowed to host all of the episodes on their YouTube, and there was also something about the sound file for their opening animation?) but mainly the difference is what kind of content they generate. Originally Dropout had multiple scripted shows with high budgets and pretty cool effects/animations/stunts (Troopers, Kingpin Katie, Gods of Food, Ultramechatron Team Go!, Cartoon Hell, and WTF 101) whereas now almost all of their shows are variations of improv comedians being put into different scenarios or given different prompts. I’m not just talking about Game Changer and Make Some Noise, because Dimension 20 and Um, Actually also technically fall under that description as well. Which is not to say that these shows are worse than the scripted shows—I subscribe to Dropout, so clearly I’m a fan of their current shows—and the budgets for them have since increased to resemble, if not match, those early shows, but it is a noticeable shift in their content creation strategy as a response to the lack of IAC funding. And I will say: Dropout releases at least three videos a week if not more and at least two of those are long form at 30 minutes plus (Dimension 20 being the longest, of course.)

So, these first two business models are not really the most applicable to Watcher Entertainment considering their origin was to get away from Buzzfeed—they’re probably not keen to be partnered with or purchased by a larger company—but there are some aspects to both that I believe are valuable in at least showing the strategy in how these former YouTube creators could successfully extract themselves from YouTube or how they still utilize YouTube even if it is not their main hosting platform or revenue stream.

Then there is Drawfee and Corridor Digital, both of whom are currently—if not primarily—on YouTube, whose situations are more comparable to what I believe are Watcher’s goals.

Drawfee had to rebuild themselves like a phoenix from the ashes of the CH Media layoff during the beginning/worst of the pandemic. Side note: I’m happy that Nathan (one of the four main artists of the current Drawfee team) at least has forgiven(? or let bygones be bygones) Dropout enough to be on an episode of Game Changer (although I will say that this happened after Drawga was “returned” to Drawfee, and after Dropout officially split from College Humor as a brand.) All that being said, Drawfee was a team of four artists plus their editor who wanted to stick together but basically had all of their support system taken away from them. They took a bit of a break to assess their goals and options, announced a patreon with several tiers with great perks, and stuck to their upload schedule. In addition to two videos a week, they also stream on Twitch weekly, have a patron only stream once a month, and a draw class (for one of the higher tiers) once month. After asking their patrons on the relevant tiers if they were okay with it, they began releasing the patron only stream and the draw class to the general public for free after a month. The patreon perks also include things like merch discount codes, high quality PNGs of the final rendered art, access to the draw class with live interaction/critique, and a commission from the artist of your choice. The only “ads” they run are for their own patreon and merch store and, even then, they’re usually at the end of the videos with a credit scroll of the patron names during their exit banter.

Admittedly, they only have MAYBE eight employees—that’s including their video editor(s?) and their discord mod(s?)—with the main four artists doubling/tripling up duties as additional video editors, CFO, and marketing/merch leads. It’s a very streamlined crew and their production costs are not very high since it’s mostly screen recording of their drawings with their audio recording overlayed onto that footage. Although the video editors do sometimes have clever cuts to relevant images depending on their vamping. Sometimes they will have a guest artist but, again, since it’s screen and audio recordings, there’s no travel/housing costs. So, very minimal expenses due to low production costs and small crew but, again, their only revenue source is the patreon/merch, they don’t do outside ads and they very rarely do live shows.

Corridor Digital is, I think, the most applicable to what Watcher would ideally do, which I suppose is somewhat ironic for this essay in particular considering they’re the only one of the four that I don’t financially support. They have two YouTube channels: their main one being where they show the “final product” videos, but I believe their Corridor Crew channel which started primarily as behind the scenes type of videos is where most of their views come from. Especially their React series (VFX artists, Stuntmen, and Animators React etc.) On Corridor Crew they usually upload two videos a week — one which is a React and the other which goes into fun projects/challenges (involving VFX or not) or using VFX to explain scientific concepts — as well as the first episodes of their exclusive content on their streamer. Also behind that paywall are longer and ad-less versions of the videos on YouTube. They also have merch. All of them have merch, I don’t know why I’m stating that. They don’t have a patreon as far as I know, but I also don’t know if their subscription to their website comes with similar perks like discounted merch or something similar.

Anyway, their studio seems to be about 15 to 20 people — not all of them are VFX artists, of course. I believe they have higher equipment costs than Watcher since, understandably, Corridor has to be on the cutting edge of video editing technology. They do occasionally travel for shoots, but it doesn’t require big teams, and that’s only when the local locations available to them don’t match the requirements for the “final product” videos. Otherwise most of their videos are set in the studio or in the alleyway outside their studio in Los Angeles (the city itself, not just the greater county, though they are in a rougher and thus probably cheaper part of Los Angeles). I personally don’t subscribe to their website primarily because their exclusive shows don’t appeal to me—either they’re too technical or a little too dry; to be fair, most of them are VFX artists first before they are performers—and I don’t particularly feel the need to see the extended cuts of the videos uploaded on YouTube. Also I sometimes get a little bummed out by their lack of diversity.

All of this to say, from these four different business models, a bespoke Frankenstein business model for Watcher could be cobbled together. But also, even with that bespoke Frankenstein, there are some changes that Watcher would have to make: primarily their upload schedule. As of right now, I think they do MAYBE one video a week if not, perhaps, one video every TWO weeks. If they want a monthly subscription model, their rate of content generation would ideally be higher to double/quadruple their current upload rate. Obviously they want to create videos with higher production value, but at that rate of generation, something’s got to give: supplement their TV quality shows with either a behind the scenes type series or an increase of “we get four episodes out of Shane and Ryan get increasingly drunk in someone’s backyard” or something similar. Leaning into shows like Worth A Shot (the first season in which Ricky Wang makes cocktails based on a random ingredient, the second season threw in some competitive aspects which I didn’t really find necessary) or the Beatdown which has relatively low production costs (no travel, one location, maybe two cameras at most therefore smaller crew requirements) but a higher polished look. Otherwise, for a separate streaming subscription service, 2-4 videos a month is not going to cut it.

As of right now they probably can’t back out of the separate streaming subscription service because those set ups usually require some level of contract/paying for servers for the website and whatever is hosting their videos for a set amount of time. However, what really strikes me is that I literally didn’t know they had a patreon until I scrolled through the comments of the first Goodbye Youtube video. Maybe it’s been linked "tactfully" in the descriptions of videos, but considering they claim to be lacking in funds, the fact that they weren’t plugging their patreon at the end of every video is not just strange, but also irresponsible considering they do have 25 employees that they don’t want to layoff.

Additionally, I understand artists needing to be in a space that promotes creativity, but there are cheaper places that must be comparable that aren’t in literal Hollywood. It’s an unnecessary expense. On top of that, other people have already brought up that it was fairly crass to introduce this paywall, attributing it to the increased production costs, when the next planned “new series” is a reboot of an old Buzzfeed series in which people travel and eat expensive food. I’m not even talking about the personal expenses of Steven, Shane, and Ryan; what kind of car they drive or the cost of their wedding venue doesn’t matter on a business model basis.

But getting back to the patreon: again, I literally didn’t know they had one. I’m looking over their tiers— they have $5, $10, $25, and $100 — and for the most part they seem okay, although I think they have more to offer that wouldn’t necessarily cost them more. Ie, something that has baffled me for a while: the fact they don’t sell the mp3s of the Puppet History songs; they already exist and it doesn’t cost them anything additional because they don’t need to put it on physical media. Or maybe they do and they’re not marketing it similarly to how they weren’t overtly marketing their patreon?

And, okay, maybe they didn’t want to seem desperate — in the early days of Dropout and independent Drawfee, they both were very blatant in getting people to subscribe/join their patreon. As they should be. Desperation maybe doesn’t look cool and sexy, but it is earnest in a way that conveys equal effort that fans who can afford it would want to see. The fact that we weren’t getting rotating ten second clips of Steven, Shane, and Ryan asking people to join the patreon at the end of every video — even if its the same clip every three videos — is wild. And yes, the $25 tier includes a shoutout every 3 months on Watcher Weekly+ (which I don't quite understand what that is,) but the fact that they weren’t doing a quick post movie credits scroll of all the patreon names is, again, wild. Once you have that initial list, it’s not too difficult to add any new names that join and put that title overlay on top of, again, those nonexistent ten second clips of the three.

As others have already stated, it seems like an extreme mismanagement of their existing successful revenue streams, if they are actually struggling to pay all of their employees. Which goes into the philosophy part of this essay: don’t assume malice when it might just be incompetence. It’s something that I have to remind myself of often because I do get paranoid about people’s intentions sometimes and I have to check myself. Am I being overly suspicious of what might be just an honest mistake? Am I assigning ill will to an action just because it inconvenienced me?

Yes, of course, a lot of this situation could be misconstrued as straight up greed. But, also, Watcher is a relatively young company, helmed by three people who certainly don’t have experience running their own company:

They like to travel. They like to bring a full crew around with them. They’re renting out a shiny office in the heart of Hollywood where everyone knows is where real show biz happens. They’re adding more employees to the team because surely more people means better. And they want better productions values because the prettier the videos the more people will like them right?

It’s naive. It’s a level of inexperience combined with giving responsibility to officers whose main priority is to entertain. And if that means entertaining themselves and their staff, then they might not know the difference. It’s the kind of mistake that first time managers make—trying to prioritize fun over getting the job done. Prioritizing making friends with their employees rather than making sure the work the employees put in is equal to (or greater than) what you spend on them whether that is in paycheck or bringing them to cool locations for fun shoots. It’s a mistake anyone can make, it's just unfortunate that they made this mistake in front of millions of people. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s solely a greed induced cash grab.

But then comes the catch-22 of the philosophy—is it worse to assume incompetence than it is to assume malice? Or, in this case, greed. Especially for the heads of a company that holds the livelihoods of 25 employees in their hands. At what point does it not matter if it’s incompetence or greed if the end result is the same?

Is it better to think that Watcher knew about the various other business models of independent creators and just ignored the efforts put into achieving those successes or is it better to think that they didn’t know and just stumbled into one of the worst moves they could have done. Again, other people have mentioned that Great Mythical Morning—which Watcher has had multiple collaborations with—has managed to make the YouTube subscription/tier system work to the point that they can sustain themselves as well as spinoff channels. Is it incompetence or greed that led to Watcher thinking they could bypass that completely in less time and with less content?

I’ve been at this mess of an essay for several hours when I should have been asleep. Ultimately I want to say, regardless of incompetence or greed… yes, Steven is CEO and yes he is ultimately the one who makes the final call but it is disheartening to see the pointed vitriol at Steven specifically and the infantilizing of Shane and Ryan in comparison. Either they’re all silly uwu boys who are messing around not knowing how to run a company, or they’re all complicit in a crass cash grab in an extremely busted economy.

I think what’s most frustrating to me in all this is that there were so many other channels and creators who have literally walked this path before them and, again, whether through incompetence or greed or arrogance, for them to just ignore it… It’s not betrayal because I don’t know them and so there’s no relationship to betray, it’s just so inefficient and convoluted that I don’t understand. Or, no, even if it was greed, it’s an incompetent greed because at least pure greed would have been pushing that patreon every second they could. Their ratio of YouTube subscribers to patreon members is less than 1% and I bet that’s because a lot of their audience, like me, literally didn’t know they had a patreon. I probably would have become a patreon member of theirs had I known earlier, ESPECIALLY if it included access to those Puppet History songs. Drawfee has half as many YouTube subscribers and nearly double the patreon members as Watcher. I’m just baffled, is all, and maybe by this point sleep deprived.

Anyway. That’s my extremely late, completely unnecessary opinion of this situation.

Edit (several hours later after some sleep): I forgot to mention, because they did walk this back almost immediately, even before their "An Update" video, but I believe the original plan was to put EVERYTHING behind that paywall and pull their content from YouTube entirely. Which is, again, extremely baffling, because if ALL of their content is behind a paywall, how would they possibly gain new fans? Even if all of their current fans were able and willing to pay for their separate subscription streaming service, how would a brand new person even stumble on their content enough to want to subscribe if there wasn't a significant amount of "proof of value" free content on YouTube? Again, extremely baffling, and a level of incompetence that overshadows a "cunning" greed. But, like I said earlier, they did walk this decision back almost immediately. If I've misunderstood this and that was never their plan, please let me know, I don't want to be spreading misinformation in a situation that is already so convoluted.

[inmedicalres]

Flat Earth: A RocketJump YA Novel

Made in response to the Story Break episode: Flat Earth. Story Break is an extremely good podcast about how stories are written, and I highly recommend.

----

Slarlyr moved quickly through the busy streets, hood up, trying to ignore the heat and noise. The Fire-Walkers were so loud. It seemed like every inch of space was packed with people, with color, with chatter and music and yelling. Sun-drunk, the lot of them, she thought. Fire-Walkers were aggressive, impulsive, and dangerous, their humanity boiled away by the constant sun exposure. Even at night, the absorbed heat from their Ever-Sun kept their coldest places warmer than the hottest summer day back home. Slarlyr had chosen to travel Fire-Side on the longest night of their year, and still her clothing clung to her with sweat.  

She shook away the heat and centered herself. She was the youngest reclaimer ever recruited to the Lu’kai, the Sun-Seekers, and it was time to do her job. She tapped her eyepiece and activated the sol-scanner. The ferromagnetic ink in the glass swirled and condensed in her vision around anything running on solar power. She knew the Fire-Walkers used lights on their displays to indicate things of import -- wasteful. It was so like them to throw around light like it was water.

The Fire-Walkers’ use of light was beautiful, though. It was hard to deny that. Snow danced and glittered around her head in the still air, children lifting their tongues to catch the flakes as they fell. Light spilled out from the windows of the shops that lined the streets, glinted from tiny glass baubles over doorways, and played along the jewelry of the Fire-Walkers like captured stars. Icy puddles reflected the street lamps, bright enough to blind her if not for her protective eye pieces.

Deftly, her long fingers snapped the solar panel off of one of the street lamps, not even pausing as the lamp faded into darkness. In a world with this much light, it wouldn’t be missed.

She hadn’t learned the word “glitter” until she joined the Lu’kai. Or sparkle. Or glint. There was no need for such words back home. She hadn’t even known snow had a color; back home, it was simply duller spots of gray in a black sky, like the worn spots in an old piece of black velvet.

She stowed the solar panel in her satchel and returned to scanning the street. If she didn’t make herself conspicuous, she might be able to reclaim a half-dozen panels from this section of the city. It was meager, but enough to fuel her assigned share of the Domain for a month. It also meant she’d have to plan another excursion to the Fire-Side to reclaim more solar power, and soon, but she didn’t mind. She told herself it was smarter to pull small jobs frequently, rather than risk her hide taking something people would miss.

Someone might almost think you like visiting the Fire-Side.

She shoved that thought away. She was doing her duty to the Domain, and she was good at it.

Around her, the Fire-Walkers all turned the same direction and started chittering excitedly. They began moving down the street and around the corner, and Slarlyr found herself pulled with the current. Children ran ahead while their parents tried to keep them close. Couples clung to one another in anticipation. Slarlyr could not have broken away without drawing attention to herself, and so she went along, every nerve in her body telling her to run.

As the surge of people Slarlyr was trapped in rounded the corner, a roar of cheers went up from the crowd. Intense heat hit her, almost taking her breath away, and her eyepieces blacked out entirely. All she could hear were the gasps of delight from the Fire-Walkers, and feel searing heat tearing into her skin. Had they brought down a piece of the Ever-Sun itself? She tried to focus on her other senses, but all she could hear was the crowd, it was all she could smell, and even the air tasted of too many people. Over all of it, she felt the steady, searing heat of the whatever-it-was that had drawn so much attention.

She felt her way out of the crowd, stumbling away from whatever had blacked out her eyepieces so badly. She did not care about being inconspicuous now; she only cared about escaping before her skin boiled away. She ducked into a building, just to put something between her and the heat. It was sweltering here, too, but much better than the blast furnace outside. Her eyepieces slowly un-blacked, and as she turned around, she came face-to-face with a plate of...something.

It was light brown, surrounded by a rim of something white. It smelled edible. Food? Who would just leave food lying out? She tapped one of her eye-pieces, activating its organic analysis. Puff pastry, came the response. Sugar, butter, egg, flour, trace spices. Plants required: three species. Animals required: minimum two species. Approximate light expenditure: 2700 pacs.

She gasped. That was enough light to power the entire Domain for ten years. And these Fire-Walkers spent it on, what? Something so trivial that it could be left unguarded?

Not unguarded. A door behind the counter slammed, and heavy footsteps followed. She moved towards the door, prepared to bolt, when a young voice called out something in a friendly tone.

She paused. Behind the counter stood a young man, not much taller than her. He had skin as dark as hers, with his short, curly hair dyed a shocking blue. Approximate light expenditure: 173 pacs, registered her eyepiece over the hair dye. She wanted to turn off the readings, but was too frightened to move. The young man smiled and held out the tray towards her. He was saying something, though she had no idea what, and his voice was as bright as the lights overhead. She shook her head, and his face fell, the tray dipping slightly. He looked so upset. And Fire-Walkers were dangerous when they were upset.

She nodded, smiled wide as she could, and gestured for the “puff.” The boy looked uncertain. Slowly, smoothly, she turned her hand palm up towards the ceiling and twitched her fingers ever so gently. The Fire-Walker extended the tray towards her, clearly wanting her to take whatever was there. She reached for the food and took it, and was surprised by the warmth of it in her hand. The Fire-Walker kept nodding. He wanted her to eat it. She knew better, knew it could be poisoned, was probably poisoned. But another part of her couldn’t help but wonder…

She could never have justified what she did next to the Lu’kai. Which is why she never told them. Not until it was too late to matter, anyway. She bit into the Fire-Walker food.

It tasted exactly like ten years of sunlight.

[guidetoenjoy-blog]

8 biggest digital entertainment trends in 2016 (so far)

New Post has been published on https://entertainmentguideto.com/must-see/8-biggest-digital-entertainment-trends-in-2016-so-far/

8 biggest digital entertainment trends in 2016 (so far)

Image: BRITTANY HERBERT/MASHABLE

It’s the halfway point of 2016, a perfect time to take stock of the best entertainment offerings of the half-year. Check out our picks for the biggest digital entertainment trends of the year are below and since “The top 16 of 2016” is exactly 50% premature, we chose the Top 8.

Also check out our lists of the best television episodes, movies, games, albums, and beauty moments that have happened in the first half of 2016.

1. All things live

Image: BRITTANY HERBERT/MASHABLE

Earlier this months, House Democrats live streamed a sit-in to protest the Republican majority’s inaction on gun control. But to the general public, the House floor footage was only available on social media, with even CSPAN broadcasting Periscope feeds.

That moment in itself was yet another indicator that live streaming is the future. The genre has been growing in popularity over the last year, with many jumping in the space in hopes of rivaling Twitter’s Periscope.

Of all the platforms offering live, Facebook has become a giant. Its service is being used by publications (including Mashable), celebrities and now even digital influencers.

At VidCon, YouTube became the latest to double down its live efforts by finally announcing the live streaming feature for its mobile app.

Others in the live streaming space include: StreamUp, launched by Maker Studios and Endemol alum Will Keenan,recently announced its first slate of live-streaming originals; YouNow, which also recently launched new original content, including one withRokerLabs, a New York-based video and live streaming studio spearheaded by Today Show co-host Al Roker.

2. Music.ly

That one part of One Dance where you think you’re getting shot at @musicallyapp @Drake pic.twitter.com/ywwui9SktM

Johnny Orlando (@johnnyosings) June 3, 2016

The app which became known as a popular platform for 15-second music videos – was the most talked about one at VidCon.

Though it officially launched in 2014, it didn’t take off until around the summer of 2015. Now it has over 100 million users, most of whom are teens.

Its success has led to a handful of young users becoming overnight instant successes. Jacob Satorius, a 13-year-old baby-faced user, has become a musical sensation and heartthrob. At VidCon, thousands flocked to the music.ly booth to see him, one of the rare instances of fan craziness at an otherwise tame and heavily secure VidCon this year.

Found the teen madhouse and it’s the @musicallyapp stage with @carsonlueders and @jacobsartorius pic.twitter.com/NQ9cibIPZD

Rae Votta (@raevotta) June 23, 2016

The creators behind music.ly even launched live.ly a live streaming sister app at VidCon. Since then, it’s already risen to the top of the iTunes download charts.

3. Snapchat copy-cats

Image: facebook

It seems face filters are a force to be reckoned with.

Snapchat has become the platform for teens to play around with their selfies. But other companies, noticing the surge of face-tracking, want to get teens interested in their own services.

At VidCon, AOL launched Switch, which enables users to swap their face with a variety of content such as 3D avatars, masks and 3D content.

That same day, Facebook also announced at VidCon that people using the face filters on the MSQRD app will be able to go live on Facebook directly from within the app.

4. Mobile programming

Today: on set of #therunner @therunnergo90 pic.twitter.com/k82RL6HYOF

Saba Hamedy (@saba_h) June 29, 2016

Who knew that Matt Damon and Ben Affleck’s next project would be a show…for mobile.

Their reality competition The Runner, which launched Friday, became the latest programming addition to Verizon’s go90 platform. That brings the platform’s total number of titles to approximately 45,000, which is a whole lot considering the telecommunications giant launched the platform in October of last year.

The new series will follow an individual over a 30-day period of time as he or she “attempts to make it across the United States unnoticed over the course of 30 days, while the entire country endeavors to locate and capture him or her using all available technology.” At stake? $1 million for the Runner and the chase teams (called “Chasers”).

“The technology finally caught up with the format of the show,” said Craig Piligian, President and CEO of Pilgrim Films & Television, which co-produces The Runner with Adaptive Studios.

Though go90 has acquired a ton of content from digital giants including a show hosted by Snooki and J-Woww from AwesomenessTV’s Awestruck Affleck and Damon’s project is probably the platform’s biggest “get” to date.

But Verizon isn’t alone in capitalizing on the growth of mobile viewership. According to research firm eMarketer,U.S. adults will spend an average of 3 hours and 8 minutes per day on mobile devices, excluding voice activities. The firm’s research suggests Millennials are also the most active video viewers of any U.S. age group.

AT&T has also increased its efforts to back digital programming.

In hopes of becoming the mobile provider for the “connected generation,” AT&T added to its entertainment offerings with the launch of Hello Lab in February.

In partnership with Fullscreen, the program gives 10 influencers including YouTuber Grace Helbig, travel duo Damon and Jo, musicians Us The Duo, magician Collins Key, Instagram comedian Brandon Armstrong and Snapchat superstar Shaun McBride (a.k.a. Shonduras) the opportunity to “create their most innovative dream projects with a cadenced release schedule throughout the year offering multiple touch points for consumers.”

5. SVOD overload

Image: bet

You get a SVOD service! And you get a SVOD service! And you get a SVOD service!

From Lionsgate’s Kevin Hart LOL platform to the most recent launch of BET Play, it seems like everyone and anyone is launching their own subscription streaming service these days.

The question is: Will all of them survive? Who even subscribes? Correction: Who has the money to subscribe?

For now it’s clear that Netflix, Amazon and Hulu remain the three giants. YouTube Red is betting on its originals in hopes of catching up. Others also continue to try and attract their niche audiences.

Maybe bundling is the future.

6. Streaming services working with digital influencers

A fan poses with a cardboard cutout of Miranda Sings at the Netflix Lounge at VidCon.

Image: netflix

In the last year, the streaming services have all been paying closer attention to digital influencers.

Hulu acquired the rights to AwesomenessTV’s new horror series Freakish. It also picked up exclusive U.S. streaming video on-demand rights to two feature-length documentaries from Awesomeness Films: Tyler Oakley’s Snervous and mockumentary/concert specialJanoskians: Untold and Untrue. Already, the platform is home to YouTuber Freddie Wong’s Rocketjump: The Show. The platform is also backing Wong’s new scripted sci-fi series.

Now Netflix is also collaborating more with digital influencers. At VidCon, the Los Gatos-based streaming giant attracted thousands of attendees with its lounge, which promoted its line-up of family and kids shows including Fuller House. There was also a photobooth promoting the upcoming series Haters Back Off, which follows YouTuber Miranda Sings (whose real name is Colleen Ballinger).

One day ahead of VidCon, Netflix also announced it has tapped Vine and YouTube star Cameron Dallas for a new unscripted series.

The overlap between digital creators and streaming services will only continue to grow.

7. The growth of the Con

General view of the atmosphere at the 7th Annual VidCon at at Anaheim Convention Center on June 24, 2016 in Anaheim, California.

Image: WireImage

This year, VidCon attracted a whopping 25,000 attendees, the most to date.

So it came as no surprise when John and Hank Green, a.k.a. Vlogbrothers and co-fuonders of the conference, announced a global expansion.

The conference is headed overseas to Europe and Australia.VidCon Europe will debut April 8-9, 2017 in Amsterdam, while VidCon Australia will launch September 9-10, 2017 in Melbourne.

The news underscores both the growth of online video and the popularity of the conference itself, which just wrapped up its seventh year.

8. Copyright problems

Fair use has arguably become the hot button issue among YouTubers, especially in the last year. Many feel YouTube has a broken copyright system, because it legally protects itself but puts users at risk.

In June, pickup artist (Matt Hosseinzadeh, orMattHossZone, aka”The Bold Guy,”175,000 subscribers) garnered backlash after claimingEthan and Hila Klein (akaH3H3 Productions,2 million subscribers across two channels) used too much footage from one of his “Bold Guy” videos in their takedown. Team Internet labeled Hosseinzadeh the “most hated guy on the Internet.”

Earlier this year, The Fine Brothers also ignited a lot of hate after announcing they were going to trademark their “react” reaction videos. The Internet lost its collective mind, and the Fine Bros. lost 2 million subscribers. As a result, the creative duo apologized and discontinued the program.

YouTube has its own content detection system known as Content ID, which helps rights holders to identify content that is comprised partially or entirely of their intellectual property and manage or monetize it. Butcomplaints over how YouTube handles copyright as a whole have become increasingly common, andYouTube says it’s been working to improve its support system.

In November,YouTube pledged financial and legal resources to help combat unwarranted copyright claims and takedown notices.InApril, YouTube also announcedit will roll out a new system that will help creators earn revenue even as a Content ID claim is being disputed.

But until there are more efforts made, Content ID disputes will remain a big part of the digital content world’s conversation.

Have something to add to this story? Share it in the comments.

Read more: http://mashable.com/

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

[bonecrusher's engine is rumbling in his sleep.]

[king pops by for a visit, letting himself in... through the kitchen window, no less.]

[upon hearing the snore-like roaring of bonecrusher's engine, king cautiously approaches the couch. he peeks over at bonecrusher, relieved that he wasn't some sort of demonic engine-related creature of sorts.]

[vibemaster appears behind king, coming from the hallway for a midnight snack.]

VM: rough night?

D!BC: assuming so. do other bots' engines vocalize like his?

VM: not that i've heard personally. patchwork seems like the type of guy to know about that stuff, might wanna ask him. in any case, i'm off to bed.

D!BC: before you leave, do you have any... new faces of sorts?

VM: uhh... three, if i recall correctly. maybe two. one's a guy nicknamed 'stonehenge' - old, rusty bonecrusher lookalike. then there's... i think they nicknamed her katyusha. she's what we used to call 'autobot rocketjumper', but someone figured she needed a better name. not my business to think about.

D!BC: mmm. enjoy your slumber, sir.

VM: and you as well. [vibemaster leaves for his bedroom.]

[king peeks over at bonecrusher again, to make sure he's not fully off his rocker.]

[...still bonecrusher. good. king folds his toes up, walking on his tires down the hallway.]

[after passing various doors labeled and decorated with details referring to the rooms within, king finds a door labeled 'SPARE', with a crude drawing of what king assumes to be stonehenge and katyusha. he creaks the door open quietly, disappearing into the room and closing the door just as quietly as he opened it.]

[king takes a seat on the floor, next to two slumbering beasts of metal, one monstrous and the other humongous.]

[king sits there, staring at the beasts. slowly, surely, he falls asleep.]

...

[king awakens from his slumber, covered in a blanket and one hand positioned around a cube of tea - a cold cube, but still. he's mildly forgotten where he is, but the memory of last night immediately reminds him. he feels as if he died, yet popped back to life.]

[king gets onto his feet. the two beasts he slept next to have left. with his new cup of tea and second cape (made of a blanket), he exits the spare room and sneaks through the hallway.]

[peeking through the hall's archway, king spies bonecrusher cooking some sort of material in a frying pan. he assumes bonecrusher can't hear him sneaking about and takes a seat in the living room.]

[of course, bonecrusher hasn't heard a sound since last night, barring rocketjumper's quiet snoring. he does pick up on king's tires making contact with the floor, not reacting to it.]

[king sits there in silence, in supposed stealth. he hadn't noticed footmuncher sleeping ass-up on the couch... and his eyes wander around footmuncher's frame.]

[...eventually, bonecrusher pipes up.]

BC: ...what brings you here this morning, king?

D!BC: shelter. i hadn't been told that you have eyes in your back. bonecrusher.

BC: trust me, there ain't no eyes back there. just sound-starved systems picking up on whatever they can. now, how're you?

D!BC: i'm... rather fine, i suppose. patchwork tells me that he wants to perform an operation on me. figured i'd pop in as soon as possible.

BC: mm. any ulterior motives?

D!BC: not particularly. i could be popping by because i'm lonely for once. i might be visiting because i'm worried about my dementia. i might just be appearing because, hey, fuck it. who knows?

BC: i get that. not sure if i get it to a depth that matters to you, but i do get it. sometimes you get too lonely.

[bonecrusher sets aside the spaghetti meat, allowing his mine defusal claw to finish the spaghetti.]

D!BC: ...what's it like?

BC: ...

D!BC: the, eh... being a part of a team, working with others to obtain a common goal, the... not being alone.

BC: huh. well, after an eternity of being a lone wolf and doing damn near whatever i wanted, even though i got struck down by optimus prime... it's a breath of fresh air. i... [bonecrusher can't find any more words to explain his situation.] ...yeah. breath of fresh air. why do you ask?

D!BC: i'd like to move in, for what it's worth. my old kingdom grew tiring and empty... and lonely. i feel as if i was alone for too long. i desire something else, and what else is better than living with another version of me.

D!BC: of course, blindly hoping that you'll accept me immediately is a fool's errand. if this is simply a visit, so be it. i would prefer for it to be something more, but... [he sips his tea once it reaches a bearable temperature.] you can't have everything.

BC: you'd be surprised 'bout how many spare rooms i have. that, and you're a capable warrior; i'd be a moron to let you freeze outside. where do you want to sleep?

D!BC: ...there was a particularly comfy room down the hall. the one with the mattresses in the center. i'd like to sleep in there, if possible.

BC: not a problem. the two bots in there seem to like having you around, judging by the cube of tea and blanket cape. did you leave any sentimental objects back at your old base that you wanna go back for, or are you fine?

D!BC: [he looks himself over. sword's in its sheath. he doesn't remember having anything else.] i'm fine.

BC: nice. if you want something to chow down on later, i'm trying out a new recipe that i think the guys'll like. have fun with your second nap of the day, king.

D!BC: thank you deeply for your hospitality.

[without another word, king gets out of the seat he took earlier, hugs bonecrusher, and heads down the hall.]

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

{hey, you remember that TLOU x bone gang post i told you about? lost my hyperfixation and i felt i wasn't writing it up to some... perceived level of quality. so: here's what i wanted to happen.}

{bonecrusher gets scratched by a freshly infected patchwork, whom was under the effects of a newly discovered "zombie plague". this leads to twelve years of skipped time, and a grumpy bonecrusher that works with his old ex, flamewar. they meet up with rocketjumper, shenanigans ensue, nebula is found to be immune to the plague... let me split this up.}

{there. so basically, bonecrusher, nebula, flamewar and rocketjumper head to a hospital across the country that works with cybertronians, and bonecrusher - separated from his partners - saves nebula from dying in the name of a cure to the plague.}

{this is where part two comes in. bonecrusher gets kneecapped, and all of his partners try to save him; all of them dying one by one, to another 'they've taken everything from me' character: TFP!Arcee. over time, part 2's story takes place. oh, one more thing.}

{this post is where my story deviates from the story of TLOU 2. the decepticons have taken everything away from arcee. the autobots - arcee's - have taken everything away from bonecrusher. here, where they're both in a dimly-lit room, with arcee tied up in a chair and bonecrusher wielding his shotgun and some fresh hate... like the good old days... they converse. ...to a point, at least.}

{and trust me. i'm upholding the quality this time.}

[now... let's get to it.]

[Arcee awaken- wait. sorry. TFP!Arcee awakens in a chair, in some dimly lit room and a tight rope wrapped around her upper arms. She scans the area: a fenced off room to her right with shelves of equipment, two tables of different equipment out of arm's reach, and busting open a door to her front with his foot, a hatred-filled bonecrusher.]

[bonecrusher locks the door behind him, turning to arcee.]

[All she can see of bonecrusher is the red of his eyes.]

Arcee: ...Alright. Chunk out whatever monologue you've got prepared and get this over with.

BC: [...he stares at her thighs. never a mech of eye contact, he was.] i don't have the sanity or sensibility left for a monologue. here i stand, staring down the executioner of three of my best teammates, vulnerable yet victorious. i'm sure you think that i'm pissed off because you won -- that's further from the case than i'd feel comfortable putting it, frankly.

BC: [loading a shell:] no. you orchestrated the nuclear destruction of my base seven years back. you were the one to pin down each and every one of my teammates' locations and execute them. you guaranteed that the future of the cybertronians would be in vain. you executed my wife in front of my very eyes.

BC: [loading a second shell:] you deserve no forgiveness.

BC: [loading a third shell:] you and your allegiance stalk my cranium.

BC: [loading a fourth shell:] you caused so.

BC: [fifth shell:] many.

BC: [sixth shell:] problems.

BC: [seventh shell:] for me and my teammates.

BC: [eighth shell:] hell, i'm convinced you put optimus on the news just so he could lie about the plague.

BC: [ninth shell:] the plague you engineered to win the war.

BC: [tenth shell; the gun's loaded:] that ended in peace just twenty years ago.

BC: a war that you had no part in aside from that bitch airachnid.

BC: [taking out a fold-up chair and putting his shotgun away:] so why, if you have a moral compass, did you decide to do that? huh? release a plague upon the world? was it for fun? revenge? let me tell you, hate and revenge do not mix well. and let me inform you that this is not about revenge.

BC: [taking a seat:] this is not about vengeance. this? it's about hate. pure, unrivaled, brutal, unforgiving hate.

BC: i know about your past, and i'm sure you know of mine. so tell me why you deserve to be spared, arcee, because i sure as hell don't see a reason.

Arcee: [Frankly... she can't. Aside from the engineering of the plague.] The Autobots didn't engineer the plague, Bonecrusher, you'd have to interrogate Tarn in regards to that. Everything else? Spot-on. I'm impressed, really.

Arcee: [Leaning back in her seat:] For such a big, dumb brute, you managed to wrestle out any - every - reason I had to find and kill your Bone Gang. To be fair with you, before the outbreak started, Flamewar found out where I lived. Decided to live with her for a couple of months. That lasted for about six years, around the 4th anniversary of the outbreak.

Arcee: [Sitting straight:] Look, I'm gonna be honest, she's way too energetic for me. I broke it off, and moved somewhere else. Flamewar, apparently, didn't like that idea. So: she found out where I moved to, and killed the bot I shacked up with. I was gonna marry her.

Arcee: And about your base getting destroyed, that was all Prime's fault. Not mine, though, that was your Prime's fault. He got too drunk around the missile panel. Not my fault.

Arcee: Neither was the plague - again, talk to Tarn about that. Remind me, am I forgetting anything?

BC: [his hate is converting to rage, ever so slowly.] why did you kill rocketjumper?

Arcee: Oh, easy. My first conjunx, right? Couple thousand years ago, we were both sitting on the beach in the Sea of Rust. Some asshat in a starship comes flying by and DEVASTATES him with the wing! Turns out, I learn a year later that the asshat who was driving the starship was YOUR asshat wife! Drunk, too. Can you believe that?

BC: so... what, some stale beef with my wife?

BC: [a little more rage piling up:] are you fucking pulling my leg?

Arcee: Hey, might as well. Not like I have much more time - you'll surely see to that, right? You and your disgusting team of freaks. All you Decepticons've done is take, take, take. I d-

BC: [sudden outburst:] YOU TOOK EVERYTHING I'VE EVER CHERISHED AWAY FROM ME OVER THE COURSE OF THIRTEEN YEARS!! ALL I'VE TAKEN WAS THAT PIECE OF SHIT YOU CALLED A LEADER!!! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU HAVE ANY SAY IN WHAT HAPPENS NOW?!?!

[Arcee is taken aback. Not sure why. Probably didn't expect that.]

BC: YOU KILLED MY FUCKING WIFE. INFRONT OF MY VERY EYES. BECAUSE OF SOME THOUSAND-YEAR-OLD BEEF.

BC: YOU SLAUGHTERED MY TEAMMATES FOR FUN.

BC: AND I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE YOU LIVE TO REGRET EVERY WAKING SECOND OF YOUR RAPIDLY-SHRINKING LIFE.

Arcee: Hey- Bonecrusher, we can talk about this! I-I didn-

BC: AND I'M GOING TO START BY HAVING YOU INFECTED.

[bonecrusher launches out of the chair, unlocking the door and leaving for a bit.]

[Well, shit.]

[Arcee scans th-]

[bonecrusher comes back faster than expected with an infected vehicon, shoving it at arcee.]

[it chomps down on arcee's neck, taking some meat with it for sustenance. bonecrusher rips it off of arcee's neck, breaking its neck and throwing it back out the way it was thrust in. he then locks the door.]

Arcee: Ow, god damnit... Was that real-

[bonecrusher fires off the shotgun next to arcee's head.]

Arcee: Okay... okay, not up for words right now. I get that. Honestly, I do. Just... hear me out.

BC: i'm done with hearing people out. especially you. now i hope you die with some illusionary sense of dignity, like the pathetic excuse for an autobot you are. oh- and one more thing. footmuncher asked me to do something for him in regards to you.

Arcee: ...and what was that?

[bonecrusher digs his claw into arcee's crotch, tearing out her genitalia.]

[Arcee writhes in agony. As one would when getting their genitals ripped out.]

BC: he told me to remind you that he had a crush on you. this is revenge on his behalf.

[bonecrusher tosses arcee's genitals onto the tables off to arcee's left.]

BC: you deserve that, and much more. frankly, what i'm having happen to you is insufficient punishment.

Arcee: ...w-

BC: now this room will act as your prison cell. you, and the disgusting shell you're going to become when the plague takes your frail body away from you. so you can watch yourself rust away.

BC: THAT still wouldn't be enough. i'm sure megatron or tarn or whatever legendary asshole would have something much worse in store for you.

BC: frankly, i don't care what you deserve. this is what you're getting.

Arcee: Wait-

BC: rust in hell - where you belong - and tell the gang i said hi.

[with that, bonecrusher exits the dimly-lit room, and locks the door behind him.]

[Arcee continues to writhe in pain, seeing no other way out of this fresh hell laid out for her.]

[Oh, you thought we were done? Hold on.]

[three months later, after the husk of arcee has been fully infected by the Plague, bonecrusher pops back in.]

BC: oh yeah, i forgot you were here. ugly little thing, aren't you?

"Arcee": [It roars at Bonecrusher.]

BC: nice frame you got there.

[without skipping a beat, bonecrusher whips out his shotgun, unloading an entire magazine into the husk's frame: nine to center mass, and one to the neck.]

BC: would be a shame if something happened to it.

[and with that, he leaves for the final time. he meets back with blackberry.]

A!RJ!BC: So...

BC: ...yeah.

A!RJ!BC: You want me to...?

BC: please.

[Blackberry takes Bonecrusher's claw in his own, walking him to some off-screen destination.]

{alright. you can leave me alone now.}

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

doorbell o clock

[bonecrusher installed a doorbell. it sounds like a warship horn and can be tuned to play music if desired. let's see how many times it rings throughout the first week of having it.]

======================

day one

[dawn. from 3 am to high noon, the doorbell never rang, not even once. no complaining, however. bonecrusher is reading a book that katyusha has written for him. lore. very nice.]

[from lunch to dinner, the door bell was rung only once. groundrumbler had to test it out because he had a load of precious materials in his hands. good to know it works.]

[dinner to midnight, same verse as the first. bonecrusher slept on the couch.]

======================

day two

[dawn. same as last midnight, and the first verse. bonecrusher enjoyed a mix of barbed wire energon and black coffee. 'helps the systems boot faster', he says.]

[lunch, through to dinner. vibemaster FINALLY gets back to base with katyusha's clothes. he was surprised by the new doorbell button, that's for sure. bonecrusher teased him about it, and thanked him mercilessly about getting katyusha's clothing. patchwork noticed a little injury under vibemaster's arm, and herded him into his office.]

[dinner to midnight. katyusha - rocking her clothes - and bonecrusher were sitting out in the kitchen for the entire night. they slept occasionally.]

======================

day three

[dawn, again. nothing important.]

[lunch to dinner. nothing important.]

[dinner to midnight. bonecrusher is staring in horror at a cybermail from... TARN. OH FUCK.]

======================

day four

[dawn. bonecrusher spent the last night staring at the cybermail. the bags under his optics grew.]

[lunch to dinner. rocketjumper came out to check on bonecrusher, and was not anything more relieved to see the cybermail he's read and reread and rereread and- you get the picture.]

[dinner to midnight. patchwork is reviewing the cybermail from tarn. he deduces that it's simply him wanting to catch up on things and bonecrusher was worrying for nothing.]

======================

day five

[dawn. bonecrusher's not convinced that tarn simply... decided to send a cybermail for catch-up, and is furiously and paranoidly reviewing the options over in his mind.]

[lunch - dinner. TARN POPPED BY -- and rang the doorbell. bonecrusher was uncomfortable for the entire meeting, wiggling in his seat and twitching all over. tarn was... a little offput by bonecrusher's own offputting, asking if he's alright. after the meeting was over, bonecrusher spent the rest of the day in the bathroom.]

[dinner to midnight. did you know transformers could puke?]

======================

day six

[dawn. rocketjumper's weekly freshening-up was interrupted by her seeing bonecrusher doubled over the toilet and weak to his atoms. she spent some time taking care of her husband.]

[lunch - dinner. rocketjumper handed the duty of taking care of bonecrusher to patchwork, a task he was quick to pick up.]

[dinner - midnight. katyusha and rocketjumper had a round of sex. no doorbell rings.]

======================

day seven

[dawn. nothing important.]

[lunch - dinner. bonecrusher's fine.]

[dinner - midnight. no visitors.]

======================

total doorbell rings: three. tarn:

simply wanted to chat with bonecrusher and keep tabs on him. no hostile intentions. quite suspicious, but... hey, he didn't bring harm to anyone, so it's probably fine.

vibemaster:

delivered katyusha's clothes after a long while of not being at the base. was kissed ruthlessly by katyusha as a result.

groundrumbler:

needed to get into the base, while having precious materials in his arms, and could not use the door. used the doorbell to get bonecrusher to let him in.

we're done here.

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

[bonecrusher and footmuncher are chilling in the kitchen, playing catch with an empty cube and (the rear end of a long session of) conversing about various rapidly switching topics. you know, more of the usual.]

FM: pretty cool, i think.

BC: oh fuck yeah. i mean, i may hate the prick, but that forest scene was pretty sick to watch.

FM: speaking of pretty sick to watch, where's uhh... where's rockie? did you two break up?

BC: scientifically impossible! not even death will do us part. love her too much. she uhh, ...went for some important meeting. i think she mentioned a couple of primuses and optimi being there. hope she's doing well.

FM: primuses... that sounds terrifying! wonder if one of them is the one that granted me the legs?

BC: [giggle]. probably. you think she's gonna need some ener-

[the bunker door crashes open. an exhausted rocketjumper takes a seat next to footmuncher, reaching up for a cube of barbed wire energon from the cupboard.]

BC: ...bad meeting?

RJ: mmnn,,,, jus' exhaus'in. heyuh, fudgethighs.

FM: hiya, mountain mamma. i suppose you're too drained for funny business?

RJ: y'cuh sey that. e'rrything's all... ssspinny.

BC: non-canon fun fact, i imagine.

RJ: ecshent deduccshen, shihloch.

BC: and i also imagine you'd like to be carried to bed?

RJ: ssshhtop beignn s,,,, so smart,.,, [slurry giggle.]

FM: hmm! who gets the legs?

BC: are you able to carry 100-200 tons of robot on your own?

FM: ehm. i could try.

BC: you get the legs.

[rockie leans forward a bit, allowing bonecrusher to wrap his arms around her. footmuncher wraps his own arms around rockie's ankles, and on a one two three up-she-goes, the boys fireman carry a ragdolled russian worth at least three regular-sizeds into bonecrusher's room.]

[rocketjumper gets plopped onto the bed, and the boys can't help but have a great ol' stare at her.]

FM: ...i can never get over just how cool she looks. like, i cannot put it into words... wowie.

BC: [a yearning stare.]... alright, let's let her sleep.

[and so they did. back to playing catch with a cube and conversing about nothing in particular. fun!]

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

Four in a Row

[King and Blackberry are chilling on the couch, watching some gruesome shows. Bonecrusher's out like a light in the recliner chair, dreaming up something wonderful.]

D!BC: ...see? that's exactly what i was describing to you. rip a guy's jaws apart and he won't be doing much insultin', huh?

A!RJ!BC: Primus alive... why did I wake up and watch this with you?

D!BC: i felt like watching something entertaining.

A!RJ!BC: This is entertaining to you??

D!BC: ...well, i found the gore pretty engaging. the writing's terrible, though.

A!RJ!BC: Well, yeah, you can't follow up a question with five more questions from other people. Only a dipshit would do that.

D!BC: [sarcastic smile.] you're aware of the fourth wall, right?

A!RJ!BC: How else would we be here, talking to eachother?

D!BC: good point.

[A loud bang echoes throughout the base. Something's approached the bunker door, and it seems it's grumpy.]

D!BC: ...speaking of the fourth wall.

BC: [speaking of grumpy. bonecrusher's awake.] who's,,, breaking pots outside?

D!BC: not sure. going to check.

[King gets off of the couch, and approaches the bunker door lever. He lifts it up.]

A!BC: What did the five fingers say to the face?

D!BC: are you in for a penny or in for a pound?

A!BC: I'm in for a drink. Long day, you know how it is.

A!RJ!BC: Is Rocketjumper with you?

A!BC: Tch. I wish. If I had known you'd been here, I woulda woken her up. Can't wake a lion and not expect to lose some fingers, though.

A!RJ!BC: Thank Pr-

BC: okay. hold the fuck on. why are there four of me in my base now? is this some sore of fucking joke?

A!BC: No, but you became one.

'

[An air of silence fills the room.]

,

BC: i'm going to act as if i didn't just get insulted by the world's most boring transformer.

A!BC: I hope you're a theater kid. What flavors of energon've y'all got?

A!RJ!BC: A lot. We got orange pekoe, black coffee, toxic sludge, barbed wire, milf milk, raspberry, cranberry-flavored ketchup mix, regular, grape-

A!BC: 'Milf milk'?

D!BC: the only one you questioned there was 'milf milk'?

A!RJ!BC: I swear to Primus, if I get interrupted three times in one day, I'm killing all three of you. No cap. ... A!RJ!BC: Anyways, we also got battery acid, root beer float, milk, chocolate milk, and a bunch more. Continue.

A!BC: What does 'milf milk' taste like?

BC: it tastes like rocketjumper's breast milk. since you've never tasted that before, here's a translation: it's really fuckin' minty and sugary. tastes great.

D!BC: we're not giving any of the milf milk flavored energon to you as a joke.

A!BC: ...Yeah, I'll accept that.

A!RJ!BC: So why are you here?

A!BC: Hiding from the DJD. Those rat bastards are tryna hunt me down for tax evasion.

D!BC: tax evasion. you're fucking serious? not even arson?

A!BC: Not even arson, Tarn took my tax evasion personally. Close that fucking door.

[bonecrusher closes the door.]

A!BC: Thank you. I woulda said that I was here to kill you three for whatever reason, but I don't listen to non-euclidean voices ordering me around. Now, what... the fuck is on the television?

D!BC: me and blackberry -

A!RJ!BC: - That's my new nickname, by the way. -

D!BC: - were watching some gorey movies while bonecrusher took a nap. that is a human's insides.

A!BC: [Rubbing his face:] ...Why?

D!BC: i like learning about other species through very very gorey movies. i also like shitting on terrible writing.

A!BC: ...that. That makes zero sense, but alright. So, besides you three, are there any... uhm. Any... fuck! What's that one word??

BC: clone, copypaste or twin?

A!BC: Yeah, those work. Are there any other clones in here, or bots who share similar frames?

BC: we have three rocketjumpers.

A!BC: [mild brain bluescreen.] THREE. ROCKETJUMPERS.

A!RJ!BC: Yeah... two of them are Autobots, and one is a Decepticon. Guess which one is the most rotten.

A!BC: The brainwashed one.

D!BC: ding ding ding.

A!BC: How many of them are asleep?

BC: one of them's in a pain coma (not dead. yet.), another's in a sex coma, and cake's... well, i have no idea where cake went.

Cake, popping in from the hallway: I'm right here. Hi, fellas.

D!BC, BC: hi, cake.

Cake: I'll be laying down with Rockie if any of y'all need me. [She disappears back into the hallway.]

BC: ...well, there she was. whaddaya think?

A!BC: She seems rather chipper... tall, and cubic. Why is her armor angled like that?

BC: i don't know. i find it pretty attractive, though.

D!BC: [nod.] so, blue eyes beige dragon, would you like an endearing nickname?

A!BC: ...Hmm... yeah. What about...,,,,,,,, [His mind trails off.] ... ...

A!BC: Would 'Country Roads' work?

D!BC: absolutely.

A!RJ!BC: Fuck yeah, dude. [grabbin' an energon cube out of the cupboard]

BC: 'country roads' is a powerful nickname lmao. badass.

A!BC: Alright, nice. Are there any other copypaste frames in here, by chance?

BC: ...the closest to 'copypaste frames' we probably have are the german tank brothers and the dump truck brothers. otherwise, i don't think so.

A!BC: Intriguing. Where... would be the most comfortable place to sleep?

D!BC: the couch is pretty comfy. though, there's also rocketjumper, she's also very comfy.

A!RJ!BC: ALL of the beds are comfy as hell as well.

BC: the snow also happens to be... mildly comfy. if you're okay with sleeping in the brutal cold.

A!BC: I think I'll take my place on the couch.

D!BC: excellent choice.

[Blackberry's spontaneously disappeared into Bonecrusher's room. Bonecrusher's followed him, naturally.]

A!BC: ...Are... Are these fellows trustworthy?

D!BC: [taking a seat in the recliner chair:] guaranteed. they wouldn't hurt a single fiber of your being, unless you get grumpy.

A!BC: That's nice. Hopefully Tarn doesn't find us.

D!BC: we'll be fine.

-

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

[Cake and Rocketjumper are sleeping on the recliner couch again.]

[Blackberry (A!RJ!BC) and King (D!BC) are gazing in utter awe at the two.]

D!BC: ...i didn't know there were two of them. that's really interesting.

A!RJ!BC: Bro. Double the Rocketjumper, double the love and care. I think I'm in love.

D!BC: [King pats Blackberry on the back.] well, congratulations. though, i suspect that there will be a third rocketjumper soon enough.

A!RJ!BC: ...

D!BC: i understand your timidness. don't worry, blackberry. we'll be fine with these... egregiously gorgeous ladies protecting us.

A!RJ!BC: Isn't that a little optimistic for you?

D!BC: oh, possibly.

BC: gentlemen. i heard there may be another rocketjumper coming, and everyone's on full alert. don't even bat an eyelid. we may not be the DJD, but we're damn efficient.

D!BC: you seem quite out of character today, bonecrusher. something the matter?

BC: ...may be a little anxious about losing my friends.

A!RJ!BC: All's fair in love and war, eh? [chuckle]

[SMASH.]

[The three Bonecrushers' eyes dart towards the bunker door, where... aw, shit. A sword in the door. She's come to play.]

[Blackberry hides behind the kitchen island.]

[King equips... a broadsword. Huh. Haven't seen that before, must've been a new development.]

[bonecrusher rolls himself by rockie and cake, waking them with some mild shaking, and continuing towards the door lever.]

[the tank battalion has arrived in the hallway, and the russian twins get into their bonecrusher-designated positions.]

[The sword in the door retreats into the darkness.]

[bonecrusher raises three fingers on one claw.]

A!RJ: ...no response? Highly unusual.

[bonecrusher lowers a finger.]

[A!Rocketjumper's own fingers appear, rather forcefully, under the bunker door.]

[bonecrusher lowers a second finger.]

[A!Rocketjumper attempts to lift the door.]

[bonecrusher waves his hand and opens the bunker door.]

[The door opens, leaving A!Rocketjumper off-balance and opening her up for some HEAT shells, which smash straight through her abdominals and fuck her insides up BIG TIME, thus leaving her toppling over similarly to Glass Joe from the Punch Out series.]

[bonecrusher signals for cake and rockie to haul A!Rocketjumper into the interrogation room. (dun dun duun!)]

...

BC: and that is how it's done.

A!RJ!BC: [In absolute hysterics about what just happened.]

D!BC: looks like i wont need to use my broadsword. wonderful. [He sheathes his broadsword.]

BC: i didn't know you had a broadsword.

PW: ...wow. actual competence from the horny cannibal... i... please do excuse me, but i never would have expected that level of co-ordination from you, bonecrusher.

BC: which bonecrusher?

[snickers and snorts.]

A!RJ!BC: Hi, Patchwork.

PW: hey, blackberry. wanna see if those battle scars could be looked at?

A!RJ!BC: ...Unusual wording, but absolutely.

[Blackberry follows Patchwork into the latter's office.]

BC: so... who's paying for the door repairs?

D!BC: rock paper scissors?

BC: alright.

-

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

[bonecrusher is sleeping at the kitchen island again. he's had a couple too many cubes and the energon's all running through his systems like butter in a hot pan.]

[unfortunately, a loud thump just outside of the base wakes him with a start.]

BC: OH, FUCKING BUGGER IT ALL. WHO'S MAKING A RUCKUS OUTSIDE NOW?!

[bonecrusher slides over to the bunker door lever and rips it down, causing the door to fly open as if it weren't even there.]

BC: ANOTHER AUTOBOT, I PRESUME?

A!RJ!BC: Uh... you could say that.

[Oh great googly moogly. There's THREE of them now.]

D!BC: greetings, bonecrusher.

BC: why. am i not surprised to see two more of me. laying in the snow, dicks out, not a care in the world.

A!RJ!BC: Well, we did just get here. Could we come inside?

BC: ...i wouldn't want you freezing in the snow, would i? get in here.

[The two Altcrushers (yep.) head inside. King Bonecrusher is immediately entranced by the amount of energon in the cupboards, and A!Rockie Bonecrusher's standing near the door, reminiscing over his own base.]

[mainline bonecrusher closes the door.]

BC: getting some nostalgia from the olden days?

A!RJ!BC: It's been so long since I've last seen the base look this nice. Do you think we could bond over some stories?

BC: sure. we've got ample amounts of energon in the cupboards, and we've got eachother. what else could we really need?

D!BC: damn right. [he sits down with three cubes of energon, one for each bonecrusher.] apologies if i were too quick on the draw.

BC: no worries. not like i was doing much anyways.

A!RJ!BC: [Gazing around at everything, mostly the terminal, the cumstained couch and the ladder leading into the ventilation.] What's this ladder for again?

BC: that ladder is for the smaller folk that reside in the ventilation systems. heh. patchwork had to straighten it out because rockie kept getting her rack stuck on it when it curved towards the counter. it was pretty humorous to hear about.

D!BC: hmm... patchwork... where have i heard that name before? are they the engineer?

BC: close! patchwork's the team doctor. dude's a master at bioengineering and i love him.

A!RJ!BC: Patchwork... what a nice name. Is Patchwork a nice guy?

BC: oh, absolutely. infact, i think he's working overtime right now. let me go check on him.

[bonecrusher takes a peek into patchwork's office.]

[A!Rockie Bonecrusher takes a seat with King Bonecrusher.]

[after some back and forth with patchwork, bonecrusher takes a seat with his alternates.]

BC: patchwork's not open to seeing anyone right now, as he's heading off to sleep, but he is available in the morning.

D!BC: shame. he could've started work on helping me with my dementia early.

BC: dementia, huh? that's... a real shame. how'd you develop it?

D!BC: obsessive consumption of energon, as far as i can remember.

BC: huh... well, i don't know how to feel about that. let's all bond over stories, huh?

A!RJ!BC: Could I go first? I've got a good one!

D!BC: alright.

---

...

[roundabouts 3 hours later.]

...

---

[the bonecrushers are all having a grand old time at the kitchen table. so much so, that someone lovely's come out to check on them.]

[wearing nothing but a 'This Is What An Awesome Mom Looks Like' shirt and some form-fitting jeans... which, is unusual for a transformer, but roll with it for a minute... and rubbing her eye, rocketjumper steps outside of bonecrusher's bedroom and is pleasently surprised to find not one, but three of her loving husband... well, two and a half. A!RJ!BC only has one non-mine-claw arm, after all.]

RJ, with a very soft voice: i wasn't expecting company tonight.

BC: ah, rockie. apparently two more of me have decided to pop by unannounced. hope we didn't wake you.

RJ: no, no. t'was not you, my love, just another nightmare. [she takes a seat at the kitchen island as well.] or should i say my loves? i'm not sure.

[A!Rockie Bonecrusher is wearing a very haunting expression, watching Rocketjumper's every move out of fear of what she might do to him... and entirely forgetting that HIS (A!)Rocketjumper isn't even here.]

[king bonecrusher, on the other claw, is quite pleased to see another cybertronian that isn't him after so many hours of sitting on a throne and rusting away. he's... obviously, staring at rockie's rack. eyes are too difficult for him.]

RJ: well... glad to see that two of you are happy to see me. so how are the boys tonight?

BC: pretty good! we've been sitting out here and talking about our experiences for three hours and drinking cube after cube of energon while we were at it. you shoul... oh. blackberry, are you alright?

A!RJ!BC: [Hiding behind King Bonecrusher. Quietly whimpering to himself.]

RJ: why's...? look, hey, i know i'm a big strong lady but that doesn't mean you gotta be scared of me.

D!BC: he doesn't trust you. probably related to trauma. wonderful shirt, by the way.

RJ: why, thank you. [she gets out of her seat, and shimmies her way around the island.]

BC: y'know... that might not be the best idea.

RJ: i know how to handle a bonecrusher, babe. i live with one, remember?

BC: [/pos snort]

[rocketjumper gingerly picks up A!Rockie Bonecrusher by his armpits, and gives him a big, soft hug.]

RJ: shh. i won't hurt you, little one. you're safe here.

A!RJ!BC: [The poor bonehead can't bother to stop himself from building up tears. He hasn't been hugged, let alone positively acknowledged in milleniae, especially not from a Rocketjumper. He wraps his arm (and mine claw) around Rocketjumper in response.]

D!BC: d'aww. that's just wholesome.

BC: [has a big goofy smile plastered on his face] ,,.,.,how do i react to this?????

[rocketjumper sets A!Rockie Bonecrusher back down into his seat, and takes her own right next to him.]

RJ: right. now that we've gotten that taken care of, how many of you are tired?

D!BC: i'm feeling quite energetic. so much so that i could do my usual routine and not feel out of place.

BC: well... could use a nap. energon intake hasn't been nice to me.

RJ: i see. and uh... what did you call him? blackberry?

BC: yeah lol

RJ: oh, that's just too cute. blackberry, you wanna come sleep in boney's bedroom with me?

[Blackberry's all too eager. He's nuzzling Rockie.]

RJ: [a tired smile.] ...this is why i love you guys. so affectionate. [she picks Blackberry back up.] see you in the morning, regal boney.

D!BC: you as well.

[mainline bonecrusher follows his wife back into his room, but not before giving king bonecrusher a wave before doing so.]

[king bonecrusher waves back as mainline bonecrusher heads to his room.]

...

D!BC: now, where should i sit?

---

...

- [timejump to ~11:00 AM.] -

...

---

[last night, king bonecrusher has elected to sit in the recliner chair in the living room. he hasn't slept since.]

[Blackberry exits mainline bonecrusher's bedroom, looking white as a ghost. He takes a seat on the couch.]

A!RJ!BC: So... this is what you do on a daily basis?

D!BC: yes. i sit as still as time itself, so that i may catch any unwary trespassers offguard when i get off of my throne to kill them. i'm simply taking this time to refine my statue impression.

A!RJ!BC, jokingly: Should've known there was something boring about you.

D!BC: very funny. how are bonecrusher and rocketjumper doing?

A!RJ!BC: They sleep like the Titanic... that is, I couldn't wake them. Might as well sit out here and wait for this Patchwork fellow to appear right on time.

D!BC: fair enough. should we sit in silence or should we converse about literally nothing important?

A!RJ!BC: ...Not sure. Do you have any good topics?

D!BC: how about that war going on between ukraine and russia?

A!RJ!BC: No, no, too political. Uhh, how about... our pasts?

D!BC: much too depressing, and i don't remember mine... let's wait for patchwork.

A!RJ!BC: [Blackberry lies down on the couch.] I hope he wakes up soon.

-

- [timeskip to high noon... or in other words, 12:00 am.] -

-

[Blackberry's fast asleep, and King is counting the snowflakes on the window. Patchwork walks out of his office, grabbin' a cube of energon and taking a seat on the floor.]

PW: hey, how's it going?

D!BC: about as well as can be expected. i've been awake for about 5 years in a row as of today, and i'm feeling a bit like a fish out of water, being back in the base after so long. i barely even remember anyone.

PW: huh... oh, you're from an alternate universe! i'm guessing this guy's from an alternate universe as well.

D!BC: correct. i'm not sure how time has been to him, but i'm pretty sure it's not been particularly nice.

PW: well, he has lost an arm at some point in the past. hefty battle damage. i'm sure i could get this repaired if i had the materials.

D!BC: i know this is going to be an out of the blue question for you, sir, but... do you know how to repair dementia?

PW: ...dementia repairs... ah, i'm sure it's nothing too serious. do you remember your wife?

D!BC: i'm not even sure if i had a wife at some point. i'm sure she would've been amazing, though.

PW: that's mildly painful. physical damage, i can repair overnight. like, this one time in one of my dreams, i had to deal with bonecrusher having lost almost ALL of his frame.

D!BC: [rubbing his face:] primus.

PW: i know! i had to take 9 or so days to rebuild his frame for him, and had footmuncher watch over him. he lost all of his enthusiasm by day three.

D!BC: jee-sus.

PW: yup. one of my worst nightmares, i tell ya. [/j]

D!BC: [snort]!

PW: [giggle]. anyways, my point is: i can repair physical, but not mental. i'm sorry.

D!BC: don't worry about it.

[Blackberry wakes up from his nap.]

A!RJ!BC: Oh, hi! You seem pretty gentle.

PW: heheh. y'know, footmuncher calls me a twinkie sometimes. now i'm thinking that's why. good afternoon, one-arm fella.

A!RJ!BC: Good afternoon, yeah. You probably already know my proper name, but if you want, you can call me Blackberry. Bonecrusher and Rocketjumper already do.

PW: well, that makes things simpler. how was your last 5 years for you, blackberry?

A!RJ!BC: ...uhm. I don't want to talk about it that much... but I can tell you about my Rocketjumper. See, one day, the Autobots decided to kidnap and brainwash her. She got... pretty traumatizing.

PW: oh, i'm sorry to hear that. how'd you feel about our rocketjumper the first time you saw her?

A!RJ!BC: nearly pissed myself.

PW: alright.

D!BC: [yawn.] i wonder what other rocketjumpers there are in this universe.

PW: ooh! i can give cake a ring, if you want!

D!BC: sure.

A!RJ!BC: 'Cake'? Is Cake just a copypaste of Rocketjumper?

PW: [speeddialing cake] well, yes, but actually no. you'll see once she gets over here.

A!RJ!BC: Alrighty.

-

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

urban legend wrestle time

[i have a big brain, goddamn. alright, let's do this. basically: autobot!rocketjumper and supercannibal!bonecrusher have a brawl, and then they reconcile and fuck on the mountain. not very creative, but it's fun. enjoy. also: i explicitly wrote the bit where they fuck. so. watch out. for that. yeah. oh, right: this is non-canon towards the current events in the bone gang. don't worry.]

[On a snowy night in the Canadian Rockies, stationed in an Autobot outpost, a bored Rocketjumper stares out the open window. The sole weapons expert (or the most famous one) that resides within this outpost, Ironhide, strolls up the stairs with two cubes of Energon.]

Ironhide: Hey. How'zit goin' up here?

A!RJ: Have you heard the rumors, that Bonecrusher still functions?

Ironhide: Please don' tell me you wan' t' hunt 'im down.

A!RJ: Sorry, dude. Studying the abnormal weather patterns out here has got my processor all numbed, and I don't want to waste the weather today. Is one of those cubes for me, by any chance?

Ironhide: Yea, I'm jus' gonna leave it in th' fridge.

A!RJ: Oh no, don't worry about it, Ironhide. I'm topped up already.

[She gets off of the couch, and sits in the windowframe.]

Ironhide: Y' could always tell me t' get outta the way, y'know.

A!RJ: Nah, I might as well give him an advantage. See you later!

[She hops out of the window.]

Ironhide, facepalming with a free hand: Primus, give m' strength.

-

[starving. nobody around. twitchy monster. self-hate incarnate. scream to assert dominance? no. new scent... r o҉ ́c̕ k e͟ ̡t j u ̨m ͘p e͠ r͠ . looking for a spar or a fight. three miles away̡̨͟. get to the cave and wait.]

-

[Rocketjumper scales her way up the slippery slopes of the mountainside. She thinks about searching in some of the caves, presuming that that's where Bonecrusher would hide first, if he were sane. If he IS sane. She didn't believe that the rumors were true at first, but upon looking up, three miles away... a trail of snow is being kicked up by a Buffalo MPV. She starts a sprint, and transforms, maneuvering around any imperfections in the mountain below her.]

-

[THERE SHE IS. s̴̴̷̸̨t̕͢͢omp on the gas. drive through t̷̀h̡͢͏͝e̷̛͠ cave systems. lose her in there.]

-

[Mnnnyyeeerrrr... She's focused on slicing Bonecrusher up into a little pile of ground chicken. Rocketjumper isn't sure if Bonecrusher is still sane. He seems so, maneuvering into the cave ahead. Maybe he thinks he can lose her in there. We'll see. She might not even fit in there.]

-

[echoes of engines. an hour later. in the cave, at the deepest part of the mou͞nt̡ain above. C͟H̨́͟͟K̵̵̨̛͢-̵̛͘͡C̵̛H̵̶̛̀͜K̛͡-̵̵̀͞͏C̴҉H̸̕͞K͞. she won't follow. too narrow. hide in a cove in case.]

-

[Rocketjumper activates her echolocation systems, and honks her horn. A fury of noise rumbles throughout the cave, until... Five miles down, there lies the legend himself. The opening above him seems thin. He can't escape from anywhere else. She sees this as the perfect time to strike, transforming and going for a ride.]

-

[what was that? a horn? what's she think she's gonna do with a horn from 5 miles above? wait... INCOMING. prepare claws. lose to the instincts. k̵ i͏͜͠ l l͢ ̧̕.]

-

[Rocketjumper uses one of her blades as well as her feet to slow down, once she arrives at the opening. Seeing as... yeah, no, that won't fit her thicc ass, she chooses to kick this obstacle so that it opens wider.]

[shesc͘o͢m̷̀͡i҉n͘gdowns̸̷̛͘h͏̵̡e̴̛͞ś̛͞c͞͏omingdow͞҉n̴͢s̸͢ǹa̵͟R̷̶̕͜Ļ̧҉̛́Ś̸͝Ǹ͢͠Ą̵͡R̷̛̀͟͢Ĺ̶͘̕S̵͜͢͢͡N̡̛A͏̷̡̛҉R҉̛Ļ͟]

[Hmm. A snarl? She decides to bait Bonecrusher into chasing her back up the 5-mile-long slippy slide she just endured, with her boot.]

[F͏͡O҉Ò̶̶͟͟Ţ̸͡-̸̨͝B̨̢͡Į̸͟T̸̀È̡̧͠-̴̴͢B̴̸͏̢́I҉̧̕҉T҉͜͞͝E̸̸͝͞͠-҉̵̢͜B͜͟Ì̶̵Ţ̴́́E҉̵-͏̶̵̢B̸̛I͢͟T̷̛̀͜E̛̕͜͝-̵̵S̷̶͟͟͢Ĺ̡̢A҉͟S̵̸H̸̵͠-҉̷̴S̵̨͜͜L̶̢A̵̷̛͢S̴̨͜͟͠H͘͝-̸͜Ś҉̨L҉̸̴̧͠A͟͜͝S̵̕͝H̶]

[Ohp, that got him riled up. She begins her ascent, with a very ballistic cannibal hot on her tail.]

-

[Once she reaches the cave mouth, she slides on her feet a bit, and waits for Bonecrusher to come rolling out, roaring like a rabid wolf.]

[iG̕K̡͠J́D̛̕NSGSLg͞lhld... s͡hh҉.͡m. hhh. h. cool it. slowly now. click the mine claws.]

[That's not what she gets, however, and she's fine with it.]

A!RJ: So, you still function. How's it going, midget?

BC: h̩̟̖̼̬͜h̰͙̭̺̻̯͇̲h̡͉͎ͅ.̡̟̖͖̯̮̩.҉͙̜̖̜͈̯͉͕́ͅ.̭̦̣̙̯͎̰͡ͅ ҉̯ͅh͍̟̗͈͖̘͞h͈̪̩̭͙̜̀͞h҉̼͓͓̤̥͡.̡̼̝̤̰̮̼̩͎.̴͏̦̣̖.͏̱͔̹̩̮̖̳͇̗͟ ̳̹̖̝̬͘̕͢b̡͈̭̱̪͙͎͞e͏̨̨̘̦͔͍̰͉t̨҉̨̰̱̙͎͎̯̟͖ͅr̹͍̝̗̙͍̗a̩̣̣y̷̮̰͈̠̱͝a͖̻̺͚̼l̝̮̪͡ͅ ̙̩̯́͠s̠̩͉̗̝̜̣̩͜͢͞t̬̭̮̰͖̕a̗͎̜̣͙͢͡͝r̦̲͍͢͟͝i̷̹̰̖n̴͕͔͢g͚͕͇̥̹͈ͅ ̢҉͇̯̗͙̲̮̘m̷̤̺͉͟͡e̶̤͓̗͝ ̛͉̳̯͞d̛͕͈̮͉̠̼̥͕o̸͓͍̲̠͇̝̣̤w҉͈̟̞̠̤̞̗n̨͎̹̤̺.͉ ͜͏̦̼̙̠̟y̷̥̹̬̯̳͝͠o̙͈̬̹̩̫͢u҉͏̛͖̯ͅ'͍͍͓̕͘v̫̬͉͢è͈͙̳̤͕̙͖̱͘ ̮̳̝́ņ̳͘͡o̖̖̬̣̜̖̦͘ͅt̤̝̯͖͕͖͘͡ ̨̘̝͙̳̤̻͙̭̀c̢̖͓͎̣͓h̺̞̮̭̜̻̱͡o̷̙̞̫̯̞s̝͙̫̦̲̟͚̝͘͡e̴̹̺̱̻̬̜n̙͉͎̜̠ ͇̻̙̳͙̫̝̜̮a̖̭͡ ̵͖̭ͅg̬͈̺͕͔̹͔o̟̗̺̳͍͘ơ͙͕d̨͞҉̗̘̯͉̺ ̧̖͖̭͔̠d͙͇́a͚͞y̸̩̳͈ ̩̗̣̟̯̘̺̜t̴̢҉͓̞̹̭o̪̗̱̜͠ ̛͈̟̯͈̯́á̫̫̺̤̼g̟̘̭̭̰̥̱͈͝͡i̢̹̰͇̬̗̱̭͕͡t҉̺̘̟̤̭̤͝ͅa̞͘ţ̷̺͚̟̪͉̻̜͜ͅę̩̮̘ ̼̮̬̯̗m̸̬͇͓̻̞é͉̀͠.̵̸͎͔̩͈

[Oh, did I mention his voice box is fucked up from her blade slicing through it, back in Antarctica? My apologies. He can even barely speak Cybertronian at this rate.]

A!RJ: Sorry, what was that? I can't hear you all the way down there.

BC: ģ̷è̢̕t̛͢t̀͜͏i̴҉͢ņ̧͞ǵ̢̡̨ ͠͝c͏ớ͞c̸̴̢̛k̕y̡͢҉,̕͢͞͡͏ ̴̸͢͟͞a͏҉̴̕r̛͢e̷̶̛̕͜ ̧͢ẁ͠e̸͝?̢̢͠

A!RJ: I still remember when you tried to take on Prime, you know. Watched it through his optics with a special optical camera system. If you couldn't kill that prick, then what chance do you have against me?

BC: i̴̡̕͡ ͘҉̢́w̷̴̧o̴n̢͘d̸̷̡èr͟͢ ͠͠w͏̴҉͝h͘͢a̵̢t̸͏̴͜ ̷̡͢y̨̛o̶̢̡͝ú̶̷̷́ ̢t҉҉̛͡a̷̛͡͡҉s͢͡t́͢͠e̡͢͝ ͟͞l̢͘͝í̷̶͘k̕͟͠e̸̢̛͞͞.̷̀̕͠

[r̷͠͞͡u͏͡s͘͠h̢̛̀̀́]

[Oh, here he comes. She blocks his first mine claw attack, yet fails to realize that he tackled her like he did Optimus. He gets some good flesh wounds (and removes some skin chunks) in through her armor, before she knocks him down into the snow.]

A!RJ: Hey, at least y-

[S̶̨͟T̶̷̷̴͟Ŕ̛̀̕͝ÍK̶̷̷͢͠E͘͝N̶̶͠Ò̀̕͜W̨͝͠͏͢]

[He managed to catch Rocketjumper during an attempt at a monologue, digging his digits into her abs. She retaliates by trying to stab him.]

[ḑ̛̛͡o̴͜҉d̸̨̨͠͝g̨̀è̡a̵̛ń̷̢͟͠d̵̢c̢͘͜ò̶̡͜͠ų̴̡̛ņ͜͞͞t̸̸͘̕e͟r̴̛͜͞͝]

[She misses. He swings at her face, ripping her mask (and a bit of her cheek) off. She's not prepared for the fury of a bot scorned, as it seems.]

[̷̵͞t̴̶͟͝h̨̕͝͡͞e̡͏̡b̧̡́͢o̵̶͏o̷͢b̸̨͝҉ş̛͘ḩ҉̧̛u͏̢̡͜͜r͟͜͡t̵́̀͜t̀͞h̷̵̕e̷͞҉m͝͞͏o̸̸̕͘͝s͢͞͞͝t͏̡̛͟]͜͠

[HE'S TRYING TO RIP HER TITS OFF. Foul move, as he comes to realize, when an equally foul sword chops into him like a lumberjack's axe into a tree.]

[̕͢d̶̸ì̴̛̕͟ḑ̛i̷͏s҉̵̷̧͜a̶̢͜͞͠y͢͠i͏́c̸̷̢͢ớ̵u͘͏l͏̡d̴̶̢̧̕d̵͏i͟҉̡e̡͝͠͠e̸̕͢͠͞e͢ę̧̨͝]̵̵͠

[He's not reacted to that, and he instead goes for the eyes, knocking Rocketjumper into the snow.]

BC: i̡̕͘͜͡ ̴̨͟҉w̵͟͏̵̕ó̴̡ń̢̛͡͏d̵͠͝e̴̶̛̕ŗ̶̛͝ ̡̢̧͡w̡͜h҉͡ą̧͞͡͏t҉̷ ͠ì̸̷͟͢t̵̴͞'҉̷̨̛͠s̷̢̡͢͏ ̧́͞l̕͡i̷̶̷͠k͢͝e͜͜͝҉ ̶͢͢͠b̵̢͞҉e̴͠i̴̷̡̛͟ǹ̢͠g҉̴ ̨̡͞b̶͘҉l̸̴͢͏i̡͢ǹ̴̵͡d̶̴̛͞.̵̸̸͝

A!RJ: GET OFF OF ME, YOU LITTLE SHIT.

[She delivers a mighty boot into Bonecrusher's back, and knocks him a good couple dozens of feet down the mountain. She gets up onto her feet, and wipes her swords clean of energon.]

[.̛.͏.̶]

[She's waiting for a response.]

[...r҉.eco̷̕͝ncKỊ̡̜̲̹̙͓͟͜L̢͏̞̲͓̦́̕L̛͖̞͇̳͈̺̲͜͠]

[He charges, and swipes near Rocketjumper's face, just enough to give her some good scars, maybe even blind her. She decides to stop playing fair with him, and sends a blade through his spine.]

[̴͞N̵̴̕Ò͏͝Ņ̸͜O̴͜Ǹ̨̕͝͝O͠҉N̕O͢N̛O҉͡҉̷N̸̛͠Ơ̸̢͟N҉͝O͟͠͏͡Ņ̵͠҉O̧͘͟͜N̸͢͡O͞͏N͢͏̀O̴̕҉]̧҉

[He manages to get up from this, digging his mine claw deep into Rocketjumper's chest to help him get some footing, before knocking her over and holding onto his own legs to continue moving.]

A!RJ: [Coughing up a bit of energon.] What the fuck? WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING UP?

[She uses a rocket tube to send some high-heat destruction point-blank. She scores a direct hit...]

[...and it didn't affect Bonecrusher in the slightest. He pounces onto Rocketjumper. (Hey, did you know that these bots' pupils change shape into hearts when they see a loved one? That's what's going on here. One of his eyes has got a cat pupil, and the other is a heart. He's also got a death grip around her ribs.)]

BC: ŕ̕.̡ ̴r̸͘͞ock̸ì̧è͟͡.͏̡̀ í.҉͢..̢̡̕

A!RJ: [spits some energon into his face] So what? Stop being sappy and kill me already.

BC: N̷͢O̷̷̢͞.͡͏͟ i ͢͠w͢͡a̵͝nt́͢ ҉t̷́͢o̶ ̡̨͞rę̕c̵ǫ̸n͠c̷̕ile͢.̡̛

A!RJ: Wouldn't've expected this from any other rabid beast, to be honest... well. You've got me down, but not out.

BC: ...jųs̢t͟ ҉l̶̨͡i̸ḱ̷̡e͟͢͡ ̷old̷̡͠ ̴̛t͢͏i̡͠͞m͜es̡?

A!RJ: Ah, fuck it. Nobody else has been bold enough to give me a pounding, and it's been kinda painful the last couple of months. I haven't even been able to touch myself, because everyone's been giving me tasks. This shit is exhausting, dude.

[She's given a cute-yet-menacing smile by Bonecrusher, as he descends and gets inbetween her thighs, delicately moving past her armor skirt and sport shorts. She adjusts herself so that she's more comfortable.]

A!RJ: What kinda monster possessed you to keep your sanity in the first place, anyway?

BC: were͢ ̨you t͝r͞ying͢ to̕ g̸o f̨o̷r̶ ͏m͢y p͘roc͞esso̴r̸?̶ ̸be̢c̕a̕u̸se ͝y͞o͝ư m͠i͞s͏s͞e̢d̨,̡ ͏if͝ sơ.͘ ҉o͟ţh̵e͝ŕwi͠se͟, ͏i d̷u̢n͢ņo.̸

A!RJ: Hmm. I've got some lube in a backpocket if you wanna get to the nitty gritty, 'less you're alright with foreplay.

BC: oơh,̴ l̕úbe?̢ ̕s҉ur͏ȩ!̢

A!RJ: Alright, hold on a minute.

[She reaches into a backpocket, feeling around. She feels the bottle almost immediately, and pulls it out, pulling her pocket inside out. She hands it over to Bonecrusher, and fixes her pocket.]

[rubadub. rubadub. apply it everywhere. maximum slippy. perfect. entry sequence.]

[Feeling Bonecrusher's dick back inside of her after 4 years of impleasure has got her going. She begins purring like a cat, while Bonecrusher starts out gentle with her. He's... gotten a lot bigger than she remembers.]

A!RJ: H-hoogh,,, this feels fucking surreal.

[Bonecrusher is keeping down some noises of his own. Very disturbing-sounding noises, but pleasurable noises nonetheless.]

BC: it'̶s.͡.̨.̶ be҉eǹ ̢s̸o͜ ̢l͟o̶n̢g͢ si̕nce ̢w͠e la͜st fu̸c͠k͟ed.̵ i̕ ̀ca̛n̶'t. ̨th͝in̛k ̸s̷t̵r̀ài͞ght.

A!RJ: Well... got any top-hhgnnm,,, topics for discussion? Or are you not into fuck-versations anym-nn..n...more?

BC: no̧t͢ ͘s̴u̵r̨e. i d̵o ̡mi̸s̴s th͡e͜ f̕em̸b-̷g̡͢h̴̢go̴o̸͜ḩ͟g̨͟h̕̕h͜.̛͏̷..̸͡ ͠..͠.à-̡a͘n̨d̢ the͘ g̨r̴ump͏, ͟and͞ ever̢y̷on̕e e̕lse̷. ͘i'̨m̶ ́gl͝a̵d m̡ar̨r̕o͘w̷b͝-͘ ̸ḩ̷̵͘͡Á͜A̴͟G͏͏̕͜g̸̨͟͝͠ḩ̴.͏̵.͘͞-mmm͏b̧e͡r t̕ried̷ ͢his͡ b̨est͢ ̶to h͜el͞p̡ mé ͟ou̵t.̛ ͏i̛ w̵ońd͘e̢r̨ wher͜e ̴th̛ę ҉p̛oor bu̧g̶ger is- ̷s̵͜s̶s̵͠h̴̕̕͡h̶͞i̴̸͘t̶͠.̨͏̨.͝͠͡.̡̨.́

A!RJ: heh... Yeah. Marrowbomber. I haven't seen that guy since I first got to the base. Kinda wish the Autobots didn't k- hhh.h... kidnap me, but hey. I got to let out some frustration, and that's always fun.

BC: on̴ly̢ ḱin͠da?

A!RJ: ...Yeah. Brainw- mm.... brainwashing has that kinda effect on you sometime, y-y,.y,y,,, y-know?

BC: g͠o͝d daM͠ni̶t.͡ ìt fe͞èls ͢ļiķe̵ yo̵u̡'r̕e̴ ̀t̸ryna m̛ilk me҉ o̶v̶er ̷he͡r͏e.̛

A!RJ: And what's so wrong about that?

BC: y̢ou̴ ̸̴mi̡̨n̷͜d ̵͞i̵͏f̢͜ ҉͠i.̷͠.̸̨.͝͝?̴͢

A!RJ: What's stopping you?

BC: h̴͢͠h͢͟͢h͟.͞.̧.́.͢

[With that thought, Bonecrusher lets loose a good ol' torrent of cum, right then and there. Did you know that cum glows in the dark?]

A!RJ: Oohohhoh.... [giggle]

BC: [accelerated twitching, and a ferocious SNAP.]

A!RJ: ...Was that your spine?

BC: i ̡can̴ f̛e͢el ̨my͝ ̶le̷g͜s͠ ͡a͡gain.̀ ̶g҉od be dam̴ned.̧

A!RJ: Hey, uhm... You wanna come live with me in the outpost a couple miles away, Boney?

BC: ...i͞'̧d̛ l̸o͡v͝e͡ t̡ó.

[And so, with that, Rocketjumper and her ex-husband head back to the outpost, with a... very confused Ironhide ahead.]

-

[Knock knock.]

Ironhide: C'm'in.

[Rocketjumper opens the door. Ironhide looks over, and raises an eyebrow.]

Ironhide: What happened t' you?

A!RJ: Well, I found Bonecrusher. He's still alive, and he's... well, he's right here.

[in comes the cannibal.]

BC: ir̢onh̀i̴de̡.͠ h͠av͡e͠n͝'t͜ ͞s̶e̷e҉ǹ ̀yòu͠ ͡sinc҉e 200͞7҉, ͡m̀y͡ guý. ̶h͘ow'̕s i҉t g̢o͞in͏g?

Ironhide: ...Uh. I've been alright. You?

BC: to ͏p̵u҉t̷ i͢t ͢l̨i͠ghtly.̢.͠. a ̧mílli̧o͘n̸ th̢in͟gs̕ ha͞ve happenéd.͘

-

[and that's all your getting. have a good rest of your day, i'm going to bleach my mind. i do hope you enjoyed this, to be honest, i haven't explicitly wrote nsfw in a little bit.]