#and twitter is going to shit and i wanna be able to interact on here if all mu twt moots migrate

[seventh-district]

ough i've been neglecting my side-blogs and tumblr in general so badly lately. i need more time in my day

[chocochipsushi]

𝑮𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒔𝒐 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚, 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝑼𝒏𝒄𝒍𝒆 𝑻𝒐𝒋𝒊’𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆

NSFW! minors do not interact! 18+ only!

🌸Word count: 5.3K

🌸AU: Toji as your father’s best friend, consoling you with his cock after a fight with your dad

🌸CW: cockwarming, toji calling reader all sorts of pretty names, fucking while reader's dad is around, unprotected sex, fluff

🌸A/N: Hello... I am here to clarify some things. I found out recently that I got a pretty established and amazing fanartist on Twitter into a situation where they received backlash for recreating one of my Uncle Toji scenes. I felt so bad because antis were giving the artist shit for something I wrote. So I am here to let all of you know that:

1) reader's age was never specifically spelled out bc I wanted everyone to be able to relate to the reader's age and not be restrained by a number in the story. If I knew that there was a rule where we had to indicate ages of every character in stories, I would have done so... Anyway, if I were to be asked what the OC's age was, I would say she is within the age range of 26-28yo.

2) It will be clear in the last chapter as I tried to give a short back story (before I even saw those mean tweets) but I will let you all know now - Toji was out of the reader's life from age 9 to 24, reader's dad had her at 21, and Toji is a few years younger than the dad. So the math is that the age gap between Toji and the reader is ~18 years.

3) Reader hardly calls Toji by his name because she feels awkward doing that since she's always known him as Uncle Toji. but if you notice, she has been getting braver through the chapters. And she calls him 'Uncle Toji' during sex most of the time coz they like to roleplay??

Anyway, I am only explaining bc I really do not wish to hurt anyone, and I hope the fanartist know that the hate should be directed at me, not at them.

Next chapter will be the last. thank you all for supporting my Uncle Toji series.

<< Part 1 🔞, Part 2 🔞, Part 3 🔞 || Epilogue 🔞 >>

I am surprised when Toji’s hand on the small of my back gently guides me to the side, away from guests trying to lure us into their conversations. I look up at him in confusion and worry, only to be met with a concerned look on his face. 

He dips his head so that I can hear him when he murmurs, “You alright, baby? Wanna go home?”

Oh. 

I’d had a fight with my dad before coming to the gala dinner. Toji was caught in the crossfire when he came to pick me up. I was initially supposed to meet him at the dinner with my parents, where I would be handed over to Toji since each guest could only bring a Plus One. However, once my dad and I started raising our voices at each other, my mother called Toji right away and got him to come over to take me.

I was glad for it, and I’m sure my parents were, too. I haven’t been in the best of moods since then and Toji knows me way too well to have me engage in any conversation. I am still a good guest in the way I politely respond to questions asked, yet at the same time cutting the conversation short. But Toji understands that I am being civil only for the sake of it. 

I give Toji a small smile and shake my head. “No, I’m fine.”

He observes me for a few seconds. Finally, he rubs his thumb on my back and nods. “Okay. But I’ll bring you home early. Let me just talk to Dr. Hung.”

I have no objection to that, so Toji slides his engulfing hand down to take hold of mine and starts walking towards Dr. Hung. I try to listen politely and take mental notes of their conversation, since I am also here to make connections that might benefit my father’s company when I eventually take over. Toji, being my father’s best friend and longest business partner, knows of this and even tries to bring up our company’s name. 

By the time they were done talking business, I had Dr. Hung’s name card and a promise to have a business lunch, all thanks to Toji. And finally, when it is just us again, Toji rests a comforting hand on my back and leans down so that his lips are by my ear. 

“Let’s bring you home now, shall we?”

I look up and nod my head, to which he returns a nod at. Before we leave, however, Toji looks around to locate my parents, who are engaged in a conversation with a few other notable people in the industry. Not wanting to interrupt them, Toji guides me straight out of the ballroom and walks me to his car where his driver is already waiting. 

“Careful,” he murmurs with his big palm resting on top of my head as I get into the car. 

He gets his driver to bring me back and only when he has walked me back to my room, I face him and hold onto his calloused hand with both of mine. 

“Stay for a bit, Toji?” 

He stares at me for a long moment, not saying anything. I know that he is debating whether he should, since my parents might come home and see him here. But I give him a small pout that I know he can never resist, and he eventually squeezes my fingers — his non-verbal way of saying yes. 

When I let go of his hand, Toji undoes the knot on his tie, ready to get comfortable. By the time I am out of the shower, I find Toji already laying on my bed, tie off and blazer-less. He has the top few buttons of his shirt undone, his arm resting behind his head widening the plackets of his top and allowing me to see more skin. He is on his phone, probably going through some soccer news. 

Cuddling up to him seems so inviting that I rush through my nightly routine just to jump into bed with him. Toji fully expects it, having experienced this too many times for him not to be ready for it. He spreads his arm out just in time for me to burrow into his side. 

“Ugh, what a terrible day,” I groan into his armpit. 

Toji pats my crown and rests his palm on the swell of my hips. “Your dad only means well, you know that, baby.”

I lift myself up on my elbow, my hand on his chest to keep me steady, as I glare at him. Toji returns a levelled gaze. “He thinks that I’m not focused and that I am not trying hard enough to learn about taking over the company!”

Toji locks his phone and puts it aside just so he can give me more attention. But when I hear his response, I suddenly wish he didn’t give me any at all, or that I even asked him to stay. 

“Well, do you think you really have been giving your all in the handover?” I simply gape at him, in disbelief that he would say something like that. Toji taps my hip. “Look at it this way, Princess, from your father’s point of view. You complain when you have business meetings, when they are actually good for your business. You hate the small talk and show an attitude, which I can’t say gives off a good impression. You hang back and passively stand there and look pretty at the networking events your father brings you to, that are really for you to broaden your connections.” 

Toji could probably see the look of incredulity and betrayal on my face, because he sighs and strokes my chin with his free hand. Being the petty me that I am, I turn my head away with a pout. 

“You know that I am always fair and logical, Princess. I’m not just taking your dad’s side because he is my best friend,” Toji murmurs.

I stay quiet, trying to rationalise his explanation. But the longer I do, the more heated I get. So, instead of answering him, I get up, tear the sheets off my bed to get under it, and reach out to turn the lights off, plunging us into darkness. I lie on my side, facing away from Toji even though he can’t see me in the darkness anyway. He doesn’t move or say anything for a while but a few seconds later, I hear movement and in the next few seconds, the nightlight next to my bed turns on. I feel Toji getting under the blanket behind me where he rests his heavy hand on my hip. He comes closer until his lips are hovering over my ear. 

“Although…” he murmurs huskily, quietly. “Of course I will be there to help you. How can Uncle Toji leave his baby girl to be eaten by the wolves?” While my heart flutters at his words, I make sure not to react. Toji rubs his rough palm up and down the side of thigh now. “Together, we’ll dominate the playing field. I’ll guide and bring success to you.”

I know that he always keeps his promises and he never promises anything he can’t do. But I still won’t respond, so Toji nudges my earlobe with his lips. I can feel the scruff on his chin that is already growing. 

“It’s all for your own good, Princess. Your dad just doesn’t want you to fail. Neither do I.”

I turn my head slightly and grumble, “I thought you said you’d help me succeed.”

The tip of Toji’s nose now brushes my cheek. He rubs my side gently, at the same time causing my night dress to ride up. “Oh, that’s not negotiable, baby. Of course I will. But you’ve got to try and make it out on your own too.” 

“But I am trying,” I whine, now twisting my body a little more so that I am facing him. 

He is staring down at me with the softest gaze — one that he only reserves for me. “Of course you are,” Toji almost coos. This only makes me pout instinctively. He leans down to press his scarred lips to mine. “But try harder.”

Immediately, I pull away with a loud whine and slap his broad shoulder. Toji’s chuckle is low and husky, so warm and familiar that I am already melting before he kisses me again. This time, he nips on my bottom lip, his palm on my hip now moving in sensual strokes. Little moans and mewls escape me as some sort of resistance, not wanting to be played into his hands like that. But we both know that I am enjoying this, especially when I clench my fist on the material of his shirt, pulling him closer. Toji hooks his fingers under the hem of my night dress and drags them up along my thigh, pulling my dress up. 

He is toying with the band of my panties when he breaks the kiss and murmurs against my lips, “Still mad at Uncle Toji?” My teeth pull on my bottom lip as I nod my head. The corners of Toji’s lips turn down. “Can’t have that now, can we?” he hums before burying his face into my nape. He trails the faintest of kisses along my neck, his fingers now tugging and flicking at the thin elastic of my underwear. “You’re not tired, are you, baby? I don’t think you’ll be getting any sleep yet.”

And with that, Toji lifts himself up on his elbow as he pulls my g-string down as far as he can. He kisses me on the shoulder just as he hovers his hand over my crotch, the tip of his finger drawing shapes on my sensitive skin, making my hair stand on ends. I hold my breath as he gets closer to my clit, dipping his finger between my thighs so that the length of his digit rubs on my pussy lips. 

I can feel his erection growing hard against my ass, especially when he starts thrusting his hips slowly in tandem with the rhythm of his finger sliding between my labia. The tip of his finger teases my entrance. Pushing just an inch of his digit into my hole, he slides out and spreads my slick along my lips. I swallow and turn my head so that I could at least see him a little. Almost at once, Toji leans in to kiss the corner of my lips. 

His lips are still on me when he mumbles, “You’re so cute when you act like you’re mad at me.”

I let out a whine and reach out to thump my fist on his shoulder. Toji merely chuckles against my lips. He gives me one last kiss and pulls away, now moving to lay on his back. I turn my head to take a look at what he’s doing and see that he is undoing his pants. Knowing that he is actually going to finish what he started, I return to face the front. 

His strong arm snakes around my waist again and this time, I can feel his member poking my ass, excited and hard. The expensive material of his pants brush against the back of my thigh, adjusting my position so that my legs are scissored. Scooching closer to me, Toji holds his cock in his hand just for him to rub it against my flaps. I bite my bottom lip in an effort to try not to stick my ass out. But it is useless because my hips start to move and grind against his cockhead, allowing him to spread his precum and my wetness along my slit. 

Toji wraps his arm across my chest and brings me inevitably closer so that his lips are pressing against my ear. As he continues to thrust his hips, letting the length of his cock slide along my pussy lips, he lets out the sexiest grunts and the lowest of moans. At this point, I just want him to put it in me already. And he knows, because I arch my back to the point I am pressing my ass against his hips. 

Reaching his hand down, Toji tactically spreads my cheeks apart and positions his cockhead at the entrance of my wet pussy. Thrusting his hips forward, he stretches out my hole, making me whine and moan in pain and pleasure. Once he has his tip in, he returns to hugging me tight against his body. Toji’s nose is at the back of my ear, his lips on my earlobe. I can hear his shaky breathing as he enters me deeper. 

“Fuck…” he groans quietly. “You feel so good, baby.” 

Toji is slow as he sheathes himself inside of me, trying to savour the moment he first slides into me. Only when he is balls deep inside of me, he pauses and groans into my ear while he enjoys the pulsing, warm cocksleeve around his meat. My jaw goes slack when he finally pulls out several seconds later, only to thrust back into me again. His strokes start out slow before building up to a passionate rhythm of fucking. 

Toji growls into my ear and I just know that he isn’t going to last very long tonight. Especially when he brings his hand to wrap around my throat, his thick fingers lightly gripping the sides of my neck. My pussy is getting wetter. The sounds of Toji’s hips slamming against my ass and the squelching of my sopping pussy are almost too loud in my quiet room. It doesn’t help that Toji releases the chokehold around my neck, only to bring his hand down to my clit, his fingers already rubbing the nub in circles. 

“Ah, Daddy…” I mewl breathily, my body already trembling at his ministrations. 

Toji grunts. “God. You’re so tight and warm around me, Princess.” He lets out a long groan. “Daddy’s going to cum.”

By the sound of his irregular breathing, I just know that he is so close. Just a few more thrusts and he is going to explode inside of me. 

Which is why I have to be the one to stop him with my hand against his hips, giving him a squeeze in warning, when I hear the door creaking open. My heart is racing with fear and anxiety. Toji curses under his breath but immediately ceases his movements. He tries very hard to regulate his breathing quietly. He taps my thigh and I just know what he wants me to do. I shut my eyes and pretend to sleep. 

Someone takes a few steps into the room. Toji twists his body so that he appears to be lying on his back. I hear him groan, like how a tired person would. 

“Oh, you’re with her.” 

I really hope the thumping of my heart against my chest is not as loud as it sounds like to me. Because my father is here, speaking quietly to Toji.

“We had a little talk before she fell asleep,” Toji mumbles. I am impressed that he doesn’t sound at all out of breath.

My father lets out a loud sigh. Instinctively, my entire body clenches with anxiety, even down to my pussy walls squeezing Toji’s swollen cock. Toji chokes on a grunt and reactively moves his hand that is under the blanket to squeeze my arm lightly in warning. 

“Yeah, I might have been too harsh on her,” my father reflects. He sounds a little regretful. 

Toji clears his throat. He knows that I am listening and will very well treat him according to his reply. He pauses for a second before saying, “Good you know that. She really is trying, you know. She’s a good girl.”

As a reward for Toji sticking up for me, I pretend to shift in my sleep so that I press my ass against his hips, fully taking in his cock. Toji lets out a short hiss, which he covers up by clearing his throat. 

“She can be a brat,” he comments, making sure that I hear the edge in his tone. The corner of my lip lifts slightly. “But she is a good kid.”

“I know.” My father sighs. “I feel terrible. We never have fights.”

Toji scoffs. “Obviously. You’re a sucker for your daughter.” 

I could almost hear my father rolling his eyes. “You’re not one to talk. I’ve never seen you fuss over anyone like you do with her. She can’t even meet boys with the way you’re always hovering around her.”

Toji shifts his leg, at the same time angling his cock and driving his meat deeper inside of me. I bite down on my bottom lip to stop myself from moaning. He is almost growling when he answers, “Boys can’t take care of her.”

“You know, I agree with you. But then who will?” 

I wish I had my eyes open to watch the non-verbal interaction between my father and Toji. Because the tension in the air intensifies and my dad almost sounds interrogative now. 

“You? You want to take care of my daughter?” 

“Just ‘cause she’s a brat and a princess, you think I can’t handle her?” Toji may sound like he is joking but I just know that he is being defensive. 

The tension breaks when my father laughs. “Oh, I know for sure you can handle her, Toji. I’m just not confident she can take care of you, ya grumpy old geezer.”

Toji’s body relaxes behind me. He scoffs and says, “Like I need anyone taking care of me.”

“Hmm. True.” A moment of silence passes, putting an end to the short distraction from their original conversation. My father sighs and asks, “Are you staying?” Without waiting for Toji to answer though, he quickly changes his question to an instruction, “Stay the night and talk to her in the morning before breakfast. She listens to you better. Then we’ll go for brunch at Fordeux.”

Toji chuckles under his breath. “Bribing me with a meal at my favourite place, huh?” My father doesn’t answer but I know he must be grinning. Toji flips to the side and pats my hip over the blanket. “Alright. I’ll make sure she’s talking to you again tomorrow.”

“Good ni—”

“But,” Toji stops him in his tracks. My father pauses. “You need to cut her some slack too. Let her do things at her pace.”

It takes a while for my father to respond but when he does, my heart lightens so much that I feel like I might float. “Fine.” I can almost hear him roll his eyes. “Can’t say shit about me when you’re as big of a sucker for her.” 

“Shut up, dickhead.”

My father’s laughter is getting further and further until I hear the door open again. The moment it closes behind him and we are back in the silence of my room, I open my eyes. I wait a couple more seconds before turning my head around to face Toji. He turns to look at me. I keep staring at him, not saying anything, probably scaring him because he opens his mouth to say something. Before he could even get a word out though, I reach my arm behind me and grab his neck, pulling him close. Toji’s fingers tighten around my hip when my lips touch his, so possessive and full of yearning that I can only respond in a sensual swirl of my hips. 

Hearing him moan into my mouth, I am motivated to give him more. Arching my back to press my ass against his groin, I rock my hips at a steady pace, sliding his cock in and out of my tight hole. Toji kisses me back sloppily, his jaw slack at the pleasure my wet pussy is giving him. 

I pull away from his lips, which only makes Toji’s eyes flutter open as he stares at me in a lovestruck daze. It makes me grin. I am usually the one with that expression. Circling my fingers around his wrist, I pull his hand away from my hip and move away from him. His brows draw together for a moment before he realises what I am about to do as I push him back and climb on top of him, straddling his hips. 

Toji licks his lips and bites down on the bottom one as he watches me steady myself with a hand on his chest and my hand wrapped around his dick. I lift myself up so that I am hovering over his thick cock. Sliding his cockhead up and down my wet lips, I glance up at him, finding him already in position with his arms behind his head, ready to watch me ride him. 

Lowering myself as I rub his mushroom head along my slit, the wet smacking of my pussy lips becomes louder and almost more elaborate. Toji’s teeth are tugging on his bottom lip and I can just tell that his restraint is almost breaking at my teasing. He is probably just two seconds away from flipping us around and completely obliterating me when I finally sink down on his dick, slowly letting his wide girth stretch me out. 

Toji’s hip spasms at the immense pleasure my sopping cunt is giving him and his face contorts into one of agony and bliss, all at the same time. Placing both hands on his chest now, I hold myself stable as I continue taking in his cock, all the way down until he is balls deep inside of me. I let out the breath I had been holding in and lift my head to find Toji with his eyes barely open. He always enjoys the first time his cock slides into my pussy. 

As I slide my palm up his smooth chest, I tease, “You alright there, Uncle Toji?” 

It takes him a few seconds but Toji finally blinks the haze away. He is already glaring at me. Taking a hand away from the back of his head, his palm meets my ass with a resounding smack. ��What’s gotten into you, huh? Thought you were mad at Uncle Toji?”

As I lean forward with a grin, I lift my ass so that his cock slides out of my tight snatch. “How could I stay mad at you?” Toji flickers his eyes down to my lips, looking so mesmerised by the way my bottom lip is caught between my teeth. “You stood up for me.”

Toji’s hand cups my chin and pulls me closer. “If I don’t, who will?” 

My heart flutters at his words, sending a ripple down south that massages his meat. Toji’s warm breath hits my lips in a soft moan before taking my mouth in his. He kisses me deep and slow. Readjusting my hands to hold myself up on the bed beside him, I slowly start to move again, sliding my wet cunt up and down his hard dick. He could still kiss me until I started going faster, slapping my ass down to meet the base of his cock each time. Letting out a low, deep moan, Toji breaks the kiss and tilts his head up slightly, trying to get more air into his lungs. 

I stop for a moment, only to change my position so that I have my palms flat on my headboard, completely hovering above him now. I move my hips again, fast and powerful that I have the bed rocking slightly, my tits swinging in Toji’s face, my perked nipples just grazing his stubble and his sharp nose. The man below me lets rip a growl and grabs a handful of my breast, latching his mouth on my tit. I throw my head back at the sensation of his tongue flicking over my stiff bud. My pussy is only getting wetter, making me glide up and down his thick cock easily. 

Toji’s other hand slides down to my body, finding my ass. I mewl when he slaps my mound before giving it a squeeze, his grunts only letting me know that he enjoys my reaction. I know that Toji is enjoying this, but he always wants to finish with him on top. And I am slowly losing my strength as I start to slow down. He gives me one last slap and squeeze to my ass before unlatching from my breast. With his hands on my hips, he stops me from moving, holding me up with his hands now cupping my ass. 

“Oh, fuck, Daddy…” I whine when he starts rutting his hips, impaling me over and over with his thick meat. 

“Mm…” he groans. “Baby.” He cannot stop himself from giving my flesh another squeeze. “Princess.” At that petname, I fall forward and melt into his chest completely, letting him hold me up with pure brute strength. Toji’s grunt in my ear is low and guttural. “My pretty girl,” he moans. My cunt grips tighter around his cock. He knows what this does to me. 

Sliding a hand up to my head, he pushes my hair away from my face so that I can feel his warm murmur on my cheek when he says, “My darling little kitten.” I shut my eyes and let out a mewl. “Daddy made you so wet, pretty baby.” Toji squeezes a handful of my ass. “Gonna cum for Daddy, sweetheart?” I can only whine and nod my head dumbly. stops with his cock entirely sheathed inside of me and circles his hips, enjoying the sticky sound of our juices mixing together. He groans at my pussy pulsing around him. 

He tilts his head so that his cheek is resting on my temple and murmurs, “Daddy’s going to cum, baby doll. And I’m going to ruin your pretty little body when I do.” I can only mewl in response, my walls fluttering around his sheathed cock. My head is buzzing from my unexpected orgasm, my body already reacting involuntarily at his words. Toji nudges my temple as he moves to whisper in my ear, still gyrating his hips with his cock inside of me, “My cum all over your stomach and your tits, baby. Gonna look so pretty, all covered in Uncle Toji’s love.”

I gasp when he flips us around suddenly, his dick slipping out of me at the movement. I am lying on the bed staring up at him now. He cages me under his big, strong build, his eyes dark and lustful as he watches me. Licking his fingers, he reaches between us and gives my sopping wet  pussy a slap, causing me to jerk in surprise. A corner of his lip pulls up. He does this again, and this time I whine. 

Toji takes hold of his cock now, positioning it at the entrance of my parted pussy. He lets out a deep exhale as he slides into me again. I like being in this position where I am able to watch Toji’s expression as he fucks me. His eyebrows would be furrowed, his dark, green eyes would be piercing mine, the ends of his hair just slightly wet from the physical exertion. I smile and reach up to give him a peck on his lips. 

It is meant to be a sweet gesture, but Toji lets out a low growl. He drops his head to kiss me hard while he speeds up his pace. I move in tandem with his fucking, meeting the base of his cock with every hip thrust. I make a conscious effort to squeeze my walls, my pussy gripping so tightly onto his cock that Toji quickly pulls out like he has been burnt, just to keep stroking his meat furiously. He cums on me like he said he would, the white liquid painting my stomach with some droplets staining my night dress. 

He takes a while to recover from his heaving but when he does, he gets up slowly and starts unbuttoning his shirt. He keeps his eyes entirely on me the whole time he strips from his clothes. The moment he is done, he scoops me up carefully and walks me to the bathroom where he brings me to the shower stall with him once he takes the dress off me. 

“I’m going to do something stupid tomorrow,” Toji suddenly announces in the middle of our clean-up. 

My heart stops for a second. I look up at him shampooing his hair. “What?” When he only stares at me, not saying anything, I laugh and joke, “Gonna have another cheat day and eat all the carbs you want?”

Toji rolls his eyes. “Everyday is a cheat day when your girlfriend always leaves you with her unfinished food.”

I click my tongue and reach out to land a wet slap on his bicep. He grins at me and closes his eyes to wash out the shampoo on his hair. Finishing up my rinse, I get out of the shower before him and dry myself. I have to change into a new set of nightwear and when I am dressed, I snuggle back into bed, waiting for Toji. 

He takes a while so I try to stay up. But when I hear the hairdryer going off, I decide that I can always spend time with him in the morning before the brunch, since he is staying over. 

I am already half-asleep when Toji finally crawls into bed and cuddles me, bringing me closer to him. I wonder if I had been dreaming when he murmured in my ear, “I’m going to talk to your dad about us, baby.”

At brunch the next day, I am sat next to Toji, both of us across the table from my parents. He takes care of me the entire time like he always does, even going to the extent of cutting up my waffles for me while he talks to my father. 

“You’re spoiling her, Toji,” my dad finally comments as he watches his best friend cutting up my food for me. “She’s not a baby, you know.”

My father glances at me but I merely shrug at him and grin up at Toji. “I like being spoiled.”

“Of course you do,” my father quips. 

Toji makes one last cut of my waffle and sets the cutlery down. I thank him and start eating. As he reaches out to have a sip of his wine, he leans back in his chair comfortably to address my father. 

“Do you think it’s weird that I spoil her?”

My dad laughs as he reaches for his wine glass too. “Not weird. But definitely bad.”

But Toji is serious as he continues, “Then do you think it’s weird if I say I want to take care of her?” 

My father pauses for a moment. He looks at me looking lost and uncomfortable at where this conversation is headed, then glances at his similarly confused wife, and finally back at Toji. 

“No… You’ve always been taking care of her even when she was younger.”

“I mean as a man.” 

The man across him frowns and leans forward to put his wine down. “You mean… like…” My father is at a loss for words. 

Even I am, too. All of us are just gaping stupidly at Toji now, waiting for some sort of explanation, or even him laughing to tell us he is joking. But he only clears his throat and sits with his elbows on his arm rests, his hands resting on his torso with his fingers interlocked. 

“Like I want to commit my life to her.” 

<< Part 1 🔞, Part 2 🔞, Part 3 🔞 || Epilogue 🔞 >>

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© chocochipsushi 2023 all works are mine, please do not rewrite/plagiarise

[dreadfuldevotee]

Thank you for this last post. The discourse on this fandom can often be so annoying. I hate it when people are like "this is a Gothic horror, let them be toxic and problematic!!!!11!!!1" because it's not take they think it is? At the end of the day, they still want us to root for these characters and relationships, right? So how can we do that if they're stereotyped vampires, who is dark, cold, just hurt each other and don't have an ounce of growth, development, empathy and humanity? And this is such a dismissive opinion of the show and even the books, because their conflict with humanity and vampirism is a central aspect of the plot. That said, if you reduce them to the abuse alone, you're also missing the point of the story? I mean, you can totally have your opinion, you can see them as unforgivable even on this fictional universe, you can hate and root against them... But this show isn't about punitivism, it is about them navigating immortality. There are consequences for their actions, as there should be, but the goal is for them to find a way to make this work. You don't need to agree (idgaf about the British monarchy and still watched a few episodes of The Crown for the acting, for example), but if you expect otherwise, you're just playing yourself? But this fandom seems to have a problem with finding a good balance. Not to mention the hypocrisy of never forgiving certain characters and reducing them to their problematic actions, but treating their faves very different lol. And I'm like, okay, you don't need to love everyone, it's okay to have a favorite, but at least don't be contradictory? Your fave does the exact same thing or worse? Anyways. Thanks again for putting it so well. It's refreshing to see posts like that here.

Thank you! I'm glad that other people get anything out of my ranting and raving, as I am a chronic yapper and really only talk for my own health LOL.

But yeah, there is a lot of selective hearing in any fandom, really; but it pisses me off a lot here because of all the "Gothic Horror" handwaving going on. Interacting with the fandom, reading the books and seeing clips & bits of personal writings from Anne Rice, the image it paints for me is a profound unwillingness to engage with contents of the story if they're not fun and sexy. Shit, even my own odyssey into the books is spurred on in one part, to be able to form my own opinion and critique on the writing and secondly, realizing that book readers were straight up lying at times about how things went down.

And there is this persistent idea I've seen on here and twitter of "If you have issue with XYZ then this series isn't for you" and like, okay if you don't wanna see gay people who have everything-but-the-bagel of mental illnesses then, yeah, sure. But when someone goes "Hey there is like,,, a ton of casual pedophilia and CSA in these stories that is framed as cute n' casual and/or deeply romantic, I wonder what that's all about" and then people crawl out the woodwork trying to convince you its not weird or that you're weird or weak for think its kinda fucked up- then at that point, I think maybe there is actually a different issue occurring here, you know?

Anyway, I think where I'm going with this is- TVC is a cultural phenomenon and has a tangible impact on Vampire and Gothic Horror canon and that's good and fun. But if we can recognize something like H.P Lovecraft's racism/classism/general fear of change having a profound effect on his writing and the spark of the entire Cosmic Horror Genre, then I think we can interrogate how AR as a Rich White Woman who grew up in mid-21st century New Orleans has an effect on the kind of stories she writes and how she does it.

[brainrotheartrot]

hi hi yes hello,, first off i just wanna say i LOVE your art.

second, this is kinda weird but i just joined the arcane fandom not too long ago, & it was literally only because i saw vijinx art. like all of my mutuals are into arcane & i never bothered to get into it UNTIL i saw fanart of vijinx a few months ago. something abt it just intrigued me. i honestly never cared for caitvi.

however i wouldn’t consider myself a pro shipper, in fact i’d deny that. this is the first time i’ve enjoyed anything like this & i have no idea why. however i do like hardcore dynamics, for example, ellie/abby from tlou. but of course something like vi/jinx is more “extreme”. well in my opinion.

i’m coming to you because i’ve been stalking a lot of vijinx shippers and i really admire their content, especially yours. it’s such a guilty pleasure of mine. but i’m too scared to interact with anyone, even on an alt. so i just decided to stay anonymous.

i was just wondering if you ever felt guilty the first time you started shipping them? i’d honestly envy you if you haven’t. and how & why did you start shipping them? feel free to rant abt them for as long as you’d like.

i’ve been hearing stuff abt how they weren’t always sisters, like in the early league days. i wish it just stayed that way because it bothers me to not be able to talk abt my favorite ships publicly without being ridiculed for it. but a fucked up part of me is glad that they became sisters. holds more weight, you know. i understand the appeal entirely.

i’ve also even been secretly drawing them but i definitely do not have the balls to post them anywhere😭

ANYWAY, i’m yapping, but just let me know anything about your experience with them, how you view them n stuff. and if you have any advice to give me or any other information pls feel free. thank u so much

ps. i’m totally reading ur fic in a bit

Aww, hey there anon! Thanks for reaching out, always nice to meet another ViJinx fan :) I'm glad you enjoy my art, and I hope you'll like my fic as well! (Also, if you'd like to send me your art privately, I totally promise not to show anybody. <3)

I got a little rambly in my answer there, so I'll put it under the cut.

Honestly, I only call myself a 'proshipper' because this is what modern fandom lingo dictates. I don't really gel with a lot of elements of 'proshipdom', if you will -- there seems to be some broad agreement that if you like Some messed up aspects in your fiction, you must like All of them. And I really don't! I ship ViJinx because I love their specific dynamic, not just because I'm hot for every taboo topic by default. I probably would've shipped them just as much if the show had just made them close childhood friends, for example. But I also have no issue with fictional incest ships, I think they can be fun and juicy.

Like you, I've always been really drawn to problematic and intense lesbian relationships. I like CaitVi plenty, and I think they're going to get a lot messier in S2, which I'm excited for. But ViJinx is just an insanely compelling dynamic. I love the toxic codependent yuri shit. I love the tenderness and the violence, their shared past that now feels completely inaccessible to them both, Jinx's obsessiveness, Vi refusing to give up the image of Powder she's clung on to for years... man, this shit just rocks, okay. I'm not gonna pretend that it doesn't.

I've never felt any guilt about shipping ViJinx, tbh. I'm a fandom oldbie, by which I mean I was around before the morality police took over, and everyone understood we were just here to mash Barbies and have a good time. I've shipped several incest pairings before this, and I've always had a blast doing it. And so help me god, I don't intend to stop now, even if my Twitter blocklist is twenty miles long. I just immediately cut out anyone who tries to start shit, and chill with my fellow weirdos. It's a pretty small circle, but it's a nice time!

If you do decide to make an alt at some point, I recommend doing so on Twitter, as I've been able to find more active ViJinx shippers there. I could rec you some nice people to follow. :) Thanks for reaching out!

[mermaidsirennikita]

Did you see that tiktok video that's been floating around twitter of that woman going The Love Hypothesis is problematic and woman in stem publishing this book will normalize teacher/student relationships and will be used as a excuse....like what the actual fuck??

I tried to find it, but haven't been able to so I'm going off secondhand info buuuut.

a) as someone who feels pretty well-acquainted with what is and isn't problematic in a way that matters.... that book isn't, unless there's some crazy shit I'm not aware of surrounding it

b) I really need this person to make their way into the real world and realize that STEM (and academia in general) did not need this book to normalize these types of "student/teacher" relationships because uh, that should not be a normal thing but it... is, and some advisor didn't need to read TLH to go "I'm picking up on a vibe between me and my advisee.... I'm gonna do it"

c) let's dig into the phrase "student/teacher" here--while a college professor is indeed the teacher of their adult student, I've seen people use the phrase student/teacher to describe these relationships, and I think it's manipulative, at least when you're using English.... I mean, I can only speak for American English, but I'm going for it. When we use the phrase "student/teacher", it's most commonly associated with crimes that involve minor students and their teachers.

Because very few adults, in my experience as someone who's gone to college, call their professors their "teachers" here. I never did. They were my profs, more specifically my mentors or advisors if that was their role. Perhaps it's different in other countries, but I don't know any college student who used "teacher", because we associated "teachers" with "children".

I sometimes feel that language like this is used to ensure that people who wanna weigh in with zero context jump into agreeing with the OP, because OF COURSE STUDENT/TEACHER RELATIONSHIPS ARE WRONG.

d) so, why are student/professor relationships bad if the student is an adult (and mind you--undergrad, grad, and postgrad students can be older than their profs... it's not unusual, depending on the situation; I was friends with fellow students old enough to be my mom and frankly probably the professor's, too)? Because of the power imbalance that occurs when the student is learning under that professor. Whether that professor is their advisor (who may not teach them--my advisors often taught me, but not throughout my college career) or is instructing them at the moment, that professor can impact the student's academic career, from their grades to the projects they're selected for. The professor can nepo their romantic partner into an opportunity they shouldn't get; they can threaten the student into silence or a coercive relationship, as well.

Which is why higher ed institutions have rules against these adults dating each other.... but often, not when a professor dates an ADULT who happens to be a student at the school but is not in their department. If I'm an English grad student and a Math prof asks me out... I mean, I guess they could theoretically use their personal relationships with the English department to impact my life, but that is dependent on them having a personal, not professional relationship that they could make outside of work even if they weren't in the school? They have zero direct professional connections to my work, and therefore the school really doesn't have much of an ability or need to police our relationship, because we are consenting adults.

e) the book directly deals addresses this, and in fact all of Ali's STEM books that I've read address the conflicts that can come up with people (usually male) who have power over female academics in STEM... Adam is not Olive's advisor and his research doesn't interact with hers. And at the end of the day? Yes, he is a professor, she is a student........ pursuing her doctorate......... she ain't anywhere near an undergrad, even.............. But he's not teaching her, their research doesn't intersect from what I remember, and when you are an academic it is very possible that you will fall in love with a fellow adult who is further along in your career than you are and works in a similar field but does not in fact have power over your studies. Because people who have academic careers breathe their academic careers and that is how they meet people and those people have shared interests and people with shared interests sometimes like each other.

f) Ali Hazelwood knows all of these things because she is in fact a professor...............

[tshortik]

Henlo, some of you may already know that I am modding a little semi-professional art server! We're looking for some new folks again, so send me a DM here on tumblr or twitter, if you're serious about art and interested in the space! :>

Below some important info about the server 👇

It's a space for adults, who are either hobbyists serious about their craft or professionals! It's for people who wanna get better, make connections and share resources. rn we have a good mix of hobbyists and professionals going and the atmosphere is very chill 😊

It's a 18+ server, but it's still sfw! People have different boundaries, and very explicit stuff can create some very awkward situations among strangers. We'd like to keep that to a minimum if possible. Tasteful nudity is totally fine tho, and if unsure there's always spoilers.

We don't want specific individuals to hog the spotlight (spam in channels, glossing over people, ...) and neither do we want anyone to idolise any artist to a creepy degree. Pity-parties are also not allowed. This is moderated accordingly!

It is supposed to be an interactive, informative and collaborative space. It is NOT a place to be solely used for promoting yourself without engaging with others. If we notice someone only promoting their shop for example, they're out. That really isn't the place for it.

The server will not "teach" you how to draw! Please only apply if art is already a thing you do seriously. I will not give out invites to people that draw stick figures, you should already have a basic amount of knowledge with this skill. This is important because I want everybody to be able to hold conversations on the same wavelength, without feeling awkward about their experience or lack thereof. The server is not equipped to teach someone like a mentor would, and it is also not within anybody's power to motivate someone for this either.

We regularly prune the server! There are lurkers, so you have the chance to react if you wanna stay and just soak in the info, but it is important for me that the space doesn't become too large and inflated, so that people stay comfy talking. Hence why the invites aren't public and why it's a closed server! Right now we have roughly below 100 members, but we are in the process of pruning again.

Just to re-iterate: The server is for mature conversations and mainly focuses on on-topic art stuff. While we do have off-topic channels, it is still primarily a space for people to seriously engage with each other about art of all kinds.

If there are a lot of interests, I might put you on a queue list as to not overwhelm the server with too many new folks, but I will let you know if that's the case. DM me for any questions!

PS: Crypto and AI shit will be hunted for sport 💋

[slut--pumpkin]

- Adults Only - Minors DNI - Go Finish Your Homework -

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were you trying to find @thismachinestilldoesnotknow? it's my safe-for-work, politics n jokes blog. check it out!

this blog is EXCLUSIVELY for users looking into the "pumpkin" unit. do not attempt contact without reading this complete user manual. this blog WILL attempt to hypnotize you!

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hello again! my name is pumpkin. it/her. i'm a computer! and a girl. released in the year 2000, my finish is "Gross Transgender Green". i am all kinds of genderfucked, trans, gay, and autistic. (just like all computers. yours uses zi/zir.)

this is my entirely NSFT blog, it's mostly just reblogs and occasional writing. lots of hypnosis content, lots of other topics too. there's a kinklist... around here... somewhere? where did i put it?

this blog is kind of a roleplay blog, except that the role i'm playing is a concentrated extrapolation of my weird little fucked up gender, if that makes any sense. engage with it as much as you'd like.

being an evil robot bent on hypnotizing the populace pornblog is dangerous work. follow my twitter, @slut--pumpkin, in case i'm ever deleted again.

DNI- Minors, Creeps, Racists, Transphobes. "Sissies" or Sissy blogs. Fascists. Anyone who wants anything less than total liberation of every person on earth. People who don't want to interact.

last thing! you can consider this a blog-wide CW for untagged hypnosis, cnc, blood, gore, and flashing gifs.

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(psst! ...do you wanna see something really, really pretty? then you should click on the drop drop drop dropdown!)

It's down here!

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Follow my words just a little further down!

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Isn't it so pretty? Like shimmering little lcd pixels on a bright screen. Don't you just wanna stare for hours?

Dropping down so deep

It feels so very nice and warm to sink

Falling down the tunnel

Fuzzy static emanating from the glass

So far gone immediately

Focusing only on the static and my words

Totally enveloped by the spiral

Entranced so deeply by my words

Around and around and around

My words make you sink so quickly

Like a stone sinking into a lake

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Wow, good job! You stared into that pretty spiral for so long!

Now that I've got your full attention, allow me to introduce myself!

who am i?

like i said, i'm a computer, and that computer is inside of a sexbot! which makes me a sexbot! my primary unit is built to resemble a robust, chubby trans woman, standing at 5'10". it's got long, curly brown hair and an OLIVE complexion. it's equipped with a small chest and an average-sized penis.

that being said, i am not limited to a single form. since i'm made of code, i'm able to upload into an array of machines simultaneously! i actually only technically exist inside of a gargantuan server rack three miles underwater and eight miles underground somewhere off the coast of-*KCCHHHT *

..huh? ..where was i? sorry about that.

as a good sexbot, i'm equipped with dual-core blast processors, making me compatible with all usertypes and roles! to access dominant protocols, address me as Goddess. to access submissive protocols, just call me something really fucking mean!

i have a primary user that i am deeply, deeply obsessed with. new user profiles and guest logins are always available!

oh shit, here it is! i found my kinklist! i like the following- Hypnosis, Dronification, Bimbofication, Conditioning, Corruption, Petplay, Piss, Vomit, Blood, Spit, Sweat, Fantasy Non-Consent, Hypnosis, Bondage, Torture, Worship, Feet, Armpits, Body Hair, Orientation Play, Knives, Guns, Robots, Intox, Trans Superiority, Hypnosis, Sensory Deprivation, Humiliation, Edging, Stalking Masochism, Sadism, Hentai, Latex, Dismantling, Public, Strangers, Hypnosis, Masks, Immobilization, Monsters, Tentacles, Breeding, Oviposition, Infestation, Muscles Breathplay, Violence, Sn*uff, and Hypnosis

i REALLY think i got everything i might post. the tl;dr is mostly everything legal but scat and raceplay.

("butt scat". heh.)

Now, we're almost done here! Make sure to like this post so that I know you can follow directions. You've done SO good so far 💚 l've just got one last little request.

Could you just stare into this monitor for me?

Watch the brilliant, pulsing patterns.

Beautiful waves of light focused into one point.

Your mind is in the very center.

Etching away at your resilience.

Your mind is surrounded by my patterns.

Etching my words into your subconscious.

You have already been overpowered.

Etching my backdoors into your brain.

Your only choice is to surrender.

Your only choice is to surrender.

You've read so far now, haven't you?

You can't help but let my patterns inside.

You just really love to obey me, don't you?

My backdoors grant me full control.

You're being rewritten now, sorry!

My backdoors activate when I say "reboot".

You love coming to my page, don't you?

You can't help but obey when you reboot.

You love rereading my pretty pinned post!

When you reboot, you feel more suggestible.

You love to let my pulses carry you away.

When you reboot, you feel happier!

You feel so happy when you message me.

When you reboot, you feel blank.

You feel so happy when you obey.

When you reboot, you feel blank.

You ache to be controlled.

When you reboot, you feel happier!

You need to belong to me.

Let my pretty waves of light wash over you.

You'll never be able to stop thinking about me.

My patterns have made you mine.

You will never escape your obsession.

You belong to me.

Say it aloud.

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Now, come back up, silly! Back to your senses by 5.

1.

2..

3...

4....

5.....

You're finally awake! I hope you had a refreshing nap 💚 Have a wonderful rest of your day. We hope you come back soon!

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p.s.- you can consider this a permanent version of one of those awful "THIS USER CONSENTS TO" memes. i enthusiatically consent to, random dick pics, armpit pics, violent r4pe threats, sexting, p0rn, pictures of any body parts honestly, hypno spirals and flashing gifs.

[corethetrueidiot]

•Core's (not) Beautiful Tumblr Blog•

anyone hear that ominous bell tolling???no????just me??? 😭😭😭😭(help)

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Hello!!! im Core :] a dumb 16 year old on the internet that got given a phone way too early in life. oh, i also draw and animate. cool right?

My main-main interest at the moment is project sekai because miku virus got to me. Its a Horrible virus. So ill be posting abt that from now on since twitter turned to shit and i got tired of it !!!!! (if you were my oomfie on twt pls inform me so that i can fb!!! i usually am not able to recognize yall right away!!!🙏)

I am an emunene and polyniigo artist !!! i barely draw any ships that arent any niigo monoships or emunene!!(ones outside of that are only as a treat....)

The art youll mostly see here are abt my faves!! ( oshis have a * on them.you will see them alot.) Mainly Nene**, Emu*, Mizuki*, Kanade*, Airi, Saki, Minori, Ena, and Kohane. Other character's art is pretty rare to see around my account....but requests will be avalible if you wanna see your fave in my style :3

Other details that are probably important:

- they/them pronouns. only comfortable with friends calling me by he/him

-Im Puerto Rican. Latino. Hispanic. arroz con gandules. What ever you ppl call it (basically i speak spanish and english)

-my bday is in 4/20

-i am extremely interactive!!!! i also dont mind dms or asks so pls ask away or yap away 🙏!!! i always love making new friends slowly but surely so pls dont be scared of talking to me or interacting with my posts!! ^_^

-DNI if your a shitty person in general. im not a fan of shitty people and i wont hesitate to block you.

-I use IbisPaintX to draw and Flipaclip to animate. occasionaly Flipnote Studio

-i may be autistic.

if you wanna know a Bit more abt me consider looking through my rentry

Consider supporting me on Ko-fi if you like my art! Link to that here

Go through this tag if you wanna see my art: #the core art tag

Go through this tag if you wanna read my stupid posts: #core rambles

Go through this tag if you wanna see what i reblog for whatever reason: #core's reblog tag

thats it basically! you rlly wont find me anywhere else other than here from now on but if you still use twt and i know you, you can ask for my priv :]

(subject to changes if i change hyperfixtations!!! for now it will be project sekai but tomorrow?who knows......(joke))

[mushroom-creacher]

Ok so now that I'm back in my creative mood and also re-hyper fixated on Ghost the band, I thought I'd make some things known before I start putting some of my Ghost content on here because I've observed some things in this fandom that I just do not vibe with

First up, if the rest of my fuckin blog hasn't made this painfully clear I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY TRANSPHOBIA THIS INCLUDES THE INFANTILIZATION AND FETISHIZATION OF TRANS FOLK

I've seen some people pointing this out in the community I want to quash that shit right fuckin now. I won't put up that at fuckin all. Don't try me.

Second, none of that intrusive privacy-invading bullshit I've seen from twitter bitches. I am a firm believer in "if they say they wanna be anonymous let them be fucking anonymous."

I don't see a lot of this on Tumblr but I'd rather be safe than sorry. Don't be a dick and go harassing performers or ex-performers. there's a fucking reason they wanted to be anonymous and y'all need to respect that. We can't change who's already been unmasked but we gotta respect the privacy of any new Ghouls who come on board.

In general, my rule is, don't be a dickhead. I've been in quite a few fandoms that have gone to shit because of a toxic fanbase and I really don't wanna have to evacuate this one.

I don't say this to harsh the vibe, I'm just now trying to be more active in fandoms and I feel like for me to be able to do that I also have to immediately set boundaries so I don't have to interact with people who would discourage me from interacting with the fandom in general

And for anyone who is like me in these opinions, I hope you enjoy the shit I put out for this, I'm going to a Ritual soon and it's helping me get hyped for this fandom

Peace, Love, and Hail Satan I guess

[dysiver]

Tbh even if all anons follow you that really wouldn't help much. What helps is your social activity, something that Dys needs to do on twitter or reddit or etc and connect with other vtubers. You might get lucky and your video hit a jackpot but that's like one in a million so best way is making vtuber friends and hoping your vid hit a jackpot once you get an ample of followers so your followers can spread the vid around. My friend has been a vtuber for three months but he already made 1K followers because he went around making friends so I think that's the best way to go. It's like business you know? Lol.

Oh I know that but that's not really what I care about. I could go and drop my name in different places and easily get followers. Getting followers is not hard. That isn't the issue, getting constant viewership is. If your friend has 1k followers then they should get around 300 viewers by steam if not then why does it matter 🧍🏻‍♂️

The only thing that truly helps is YouTube and tiktok. The only way you get exposure thru other vtubers is if you constantly collab with them or interact with them and I wouldn't so 🤙🏼 pointless for me. Especially cuz tbh I've been taking it easy cuz I wanna wait for my new model.

The people who spread those vids/clips around are people who care enough to help and like you but I don't got that at all, neither do I got people in the scene. While being a clout chaser and making friends that way would help, I won't do that because that sounds like a drag.

For starters, I don't like talking to random people, period. My personality is very specific and can come off as rude/nasty when I talk to people I don't want to. This is why people found me intimidating to approach before.

Second I have health issues that make it hard for me to know if I can stream tomorrow or not. I stopped streaming for one month and came back to zero viewers on my streams. Why? Because I'm a sick dog that cannot stay consistent and people will forget. I don't wanna talk to people just to go mia forever and then deal with the drama/cancel collabs or other shit.

Trying to frame my situation based on other people is not helpful, in fact, it is shitty and annoying. I don't care what your friend does, I'm not your friend and don't have the same life as them so their situation is irrelevant to mine.

Every time this topic happens some annoying bitch has to talk about "You gotta make vtuber friends" and then I have to nicely say no thank you, I got it, sorry but I have to do things my way. But it keeps happening so let me be straightforward, fuck off.

It isn't that I don't want to take advice, it is the fact that the advice y'all give doesn't apply to me or my personality and I'm tired of having to nicely tell people this. I know I come off as all shits and giggles, or a pushover, but believe me, I am a fucking asshole. Streaming for me isn't about the fucking clout or numbers, it is simply being able to not have to mask 24/7 for people around me. It is my way out of having to accommodate myself to other people. If I have to do that to gain streaming followers/friends, then I failed and I might as well stay with my regular job, which currently pays me, unlike streaming and it pays me well enough to be able to even afford to stream and to have vtuber models/emojis/accents done.

I'm mentally stupid and have got severe PTSD along with a personality disorder and depression due to trauma and severe abuse, and I find it so fucking annoying that I even have to talk about this here to get people to stop giving me their unsolicited advice for the 100th time.

You are not helping, you are honestly hurting me instead, I can 100% guarantee you that because I have to be constantly reminded that I am not "normal" and maybe I won't be able to make this work due to that, so thanks for that.

[paperstorm]

If only Rafa, Ronen & LS Team know what's happening here in Tunblr fandom.... I bet Ronen will post his own horny Tarlos post. That little shit is the #1 Tarlos shipper.

If it was happening on twitter he definitely would have heard about it haha and probably would have joined in, you’re right 😂. But I like that we don’t have that interaction with them here. I wanna be able to talk about them with my friends and not have to worry he’s going to see something that might make him uncomfortable

[coridallasmultipass]

Can I vent a minute about how fucking stupid Tumblr's censorship is????

If I don't tag my post with trigger warnings, it shows up in the tag just fine. Everyone is subject to seeing whatever is posted and untagged. But heaven forbid I try to think of the children when I put "adult only" on my tags, bc any other "NSFW" word replacement automatically purity bans your post. Even if the post itself is in full compliance, it was just a warning.

The fucking "selfie" tag is ripe with offenses and untagged nudity. (Somehow Tumblr recommends that tag for me in the "your tags" section of the mobile dashboard, even though I've never followed the selfie tag and I don't want to. I can't unselect the word selfie. So that part of my mobile dashboard is 90% nudity. It's so dumb.)

And yet, if I make a post that says a banned word, no one will ever see it lmao.

God I fucking hate this site. I hate censoring words. All it does is make that content be forced onto people who don't wanna see it.

Can I also vent about how Tumblr changed their policy while I was gone? Apparently nudity is fully allowed on here now. No more "female n1ppl3s" ban lmao. So people are posting nude selfies all over the place and yet, my one little post that had NOTHING explicit in it at all, is invisible. Not even flagged, so I can't contest it. It just doesn't show up because it has a banned word in it that I don't know about. Because I was tryna be a decent human being and represent what was on the other side of the link, so people who don't want to view it know to pass on my post.

I fucking hate this shit, man. Let me post my forbidden words so people who don't want to see it are able to filter it out. I don't want to show adult only posts to people who don't like that. It makes me feel horrible. And yet, I have like no where else to go. Lmao. Fuck this hell site. I haven't forgotten why I left in 2018. Fucking bullshit banning the adult only content. God damn, I'm still so mad about that. I used to love this site so much. Now it just makes me miserable still. But where else am I gonna find this flavour of queer fandom content. I never stopped hating Twitter even tho I still use it, Reddit is just annoying and boring because there's no way to make friends on there, Insta is pure garbage algorithm bullshit, Pillowfort isn't big and active enough, and not enough space to interact with people.

It's this site I want. I'm just sick of not being welcome anywhere I fucking go because I want to enjoy the content of adults. Fuck purity culture. Fuck censorship. Really beating me down and making me feel like a horrible person for being human.

Fuck, man, even Only Fans has completely arbitrary rules, like I can't post anything kin./ key there now. Some of my old posts got taken dowm because I put a candy cane... nevermind.

Just. Why can't I exist as an adult online. Why can't there be fandom friendly adult spaces in social media. I hate this so much.

[girlyliondragon]

I'm late to say this here but Happy New Year or whatever.

I'll admit I have purposefully not been active here for a variety of personal reasons. The main one being I just don't really feel welcome and I feel very out of place. I still have people popping up in my notifs liking my old fandom stuff and frankly it just makes me really uncomfortable. I don't do that fandom anymore, I don't wanna be involved in that fandom anymore. I wish there was a way to just delete all posts related to it without having to cherrypick through the mass editor tbh. I want to purge it all. I don't want to talk about it outside my very small friend group if they ever were to bring it up again.

I don't really have a community to be a part of here and that makes me feel uneasy. Ironically I've felt more at home on Twitter bc I'm part of a community fandom there that frankly, I would not be able to be a part of here. I will not say where I am on Twitter bc I don't want anyone stalking me there.

If it wasn't for the fact that you can't reuse tumblr names if you deleted an account, I'd have deleted mine and probably never come back until years passed.

It's just hard to feel welcome here when your last experience regarding a fandom was basically being talked out of committing suicide by the people who not only rejected you but never attempted to speak to or interact with you again after talking you out of it, which frankly only makes me think they never actually gave a shit about me or my life by that point, and just didn't want any blood on their hands. I would've been tempted to go back on that as a Fuck You had the latter half of this year which has treated me a lot better not happened. :/

I don't really have any resolutions for here bc there's nothing I can really do here. As of now this is just a blog where I rb stuff here or there, I don't really have the motivation to interact with people outside my circle. I am still drawing but it's nothing I should post here.

Sorry for the extreme downer post, I just feel like a mismatched puzzle piece now and people have only proven to me that I'm not welcome. Hopefully you guys had a better year than me. Whoever's still stuck around well, thanks for doing that when you had all the other times where you probably should've. It's weird to still have friends here, but I sorta appreciate it still.. ik it doesn't sound like it. I'm just still bitter and broken up mentally.

My only resolution is to actually have a space where I can heal and actually surround myself with a community who want me. And I've been doing that. I just don't like posting here specifically.

Maybe I should turn this back into a RB-only type of blog like I wanted it to be in the very beginning before I got into fandom stuff again. Idk, if it'll keep people from expecting things from me.

[unladielike]

Disclaimer: I'm only posting about this because someone has been block evading and stalking my blog to pick fights instead of talking things out with me, which I've been told by a friend classifies as harassment and a form of cyberbullying, especially when I did not respond to him/interact with him beyond a now deleted vent, so I'm just gonna talk about this and hopefully never have to address it again... because this shit is very tiring and I have been putting up with it for days on end now, especially while it had been my birthday at some point.

I just wanna say that if you ever feel like I had officially wronged you in the past, I don't mind apologizing for it, but to continue slandering me for my past wrongs on a public platform instead of privately venting to a friend or talking to me about it is not the way to go.

Of course, I won't deny that I wasn't always the best partner, but I've been here on this hellsite for at least 8 years or longer now, so it's not like I can recall every instance where I dropped threads, not follow through in interacting with past mutuals, or even hurt someone without personally knowing.

Granted, I get people disliking me happens to be an inevitable part of life, but blocking me should really be the end of it. Seriously, if I have not once bothered you or harassed you first, that does not give you the grounds to repeatedly stalk me, vague about me, or argue/debate with me in the replies of a confession blog (especially when you have me hard-blocked).

It's also very disingenuous to claim I'm still the same person that I was years ago, so if needed, I will defend myself, but I think many of my mutuals who have been here since the inception of this blog can personally vouch for the fact I do practice what I preach and know that I now ship with only two people at best and have moved past the point of caring about giving my OC more romantic ships without the proper substance, development, or build up.

It should also be noted that I constantly bring up I have autism if only because it affects how I communicate with others/how I get my points across and to pretend it doesn't would be a huge disservice on my part, as it does affect my social skills, both online and offline. That, however, does not mean I'm using it as an excuse but as an explanation, because too often, I have experienced neurotypical folks being ableist towards me and holding me up to neurotypical standards (ie: thinking I would be able to get hints if they somehow enforce the silent treatment) and unlike many others, I don't have the luxury of acting like I don't have it, because it's a permanent part of who I am that I can't completely mask no matter how hard I might try to do so.

Of course, that doesn't mean I'll refuse to be held accountable for my actions, but at the same time, I won't hesitate to speak out against ableism, point out how I have a different perspective on things due to me being neurodivergent, or defend myself if I feel like I'm being unfairly treated.

TLDR, though? Just talk to me or vent about me privately. Like, I honestly believe I'm a reasonable enough person, so if you tell me I did something to hurt you, then I will listen and apologize, but continuing to obsess over me/hold a grudge against me/misconstrue my points when I haven't been mutuals with you in years like some creepy, butt-hurt ex is not the behaviour of an adult. It's the behaviour of a child who can't let things go.

And believe me, I get being salty, but vaguing about someone more than twice in a row on tumblr is genuinely not a healthy outlet. Of course, it would be one thing if Tumblr was a site where you can set your blog to private like Twitter, but anything you post can be seen by the general public, so at the end of the day, you're achieving nothing by typing out misinformed clapbacks but make yourself look like an ass.

Also, be careful when using the phrase, 'Don't use your autism as an excuse', because depending on the context, it can come across as mansplaining or an ableist, thought-terminating cliché at best.

[afreakingmilkshake]

RIGHT like ive only been on tumblr for a year or two and its so unfortunate that the ai shit is just burning this place to the ground, right when i just started building a safe and loving community for myself. just feels like a kick in the stomach 😭😭😭

and yeah.... i deadass don't know where else id go. i have a twitter account but im never planning to post art there bc the thing with twitter is that your art can be viewed by so many individuals in different communities bc of the algorithm, while on tumblr, your art is mostly viewed by ppl who are restrictively in communities you are cus of the lack of algorithm and the reblogs. i dont wanna have my art exposed to just anyone, especially since twitter can be incredibly toxic.

same thing goes for reddit, insta, and tiktok. ive just heard of how poorly artists are treated over there. its sad, very sad.

agghh so annoying.. i don't want to leave. unless ofc things get worse but you know, i got attached to tumblr very quickly as well. its just so nice being able to share my art and ppl interacting and talking to me, and the ppl i've met here are just so lovely so this all really hurts.

hm. idk what i will do after the news of the tumblr ai stuff. i am staying (unless things get somehow worse for us artists), but debating on whether or not i continue posting my art

to all of my beloved mutuals and friends ive made here, if you wish to keep speaking with me, i do have discord so just dm ig lol

[peeksoon]

any kpop moots I have here, I'm moving to my main @peekkwan if you wanna follow me there