#and turns out it was just another case of lesbian dates 'man' who ends up later coming out as trans

[zukkaoru]

turns out lesbians having a radar for trans women before they come out is real. and it happened to me.

[sidebaxolotl]

I have a question for you if you wouldn’t mind answering. I’m a lesbian and I’ve been considering turning to religion and being side b, but my main question is why would God want me to suffer this much? Why would He let me date my girlfriend for 3 years, all of which has been blissfully happy and feels totally right and good, if He really wants me to give it all up and break both of our hearts? It doesn’t feel like sin to me. We didn’t even sleep with each other until we’d been together for a year because I found it very hard to get over my shame and they waited for me the entire time. Isn’t there that verse about the fruit something brings? Being a lesbian has brought nothing but joy into my life. In fact, the only suffering it’s caused me is when I used to try to be side b. I don’t see why God would want that for me if He allowed me to be made a lesbian.

And to be honest, it seems like most of the side b people I know struggle a lot with being side b, like it doesn’t come naturally to them. I wonder how you reconcile that difficulty and pain with believing that a good God would want this for you. You could make the argument that Satan wants you to suffer and is causing your temptation, but if that’s the case why doesn’t God just fix it, if He’s all powerful? Maybe He wants me to have free will, but I’ve asked Him countless times to make me straight so it’s not like I want to be gay.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. I just find this sort of thing really hard to wrap my head around, but I want there to be a good answer that I can hold on to.

Hey friend! To be honest I do understand where you're coming from. My relationship with my ex was one of the most wonderful things ive ever felt, and it did feel right and very good, unlike a lot of the sin in my life. Even now I struggle sometimes to reconcile that and I know if things hadn't ended so badly I'd be in your situation right now. I also prayed many times that God would make me straight (and for a while I thought it worked lmao). For a long time after The Breakup I struggled really hard with what to do, i was struggling with lesbian erotica/fandom content, wondering what to do with my faith, wondering if I should force myself to marry a man, crying out to God to curse Him or blame Him for my situation, for taking her away from me, etc. I fell into a very deep depression and was very close to unaliving myself over it (and other things). I had to go on medication for an extended period of time because I did not want to live. It was a really rough time in my life and I'm glad despite all the things that I said and did out of grief that I made it out of that period of my life with my relationship to God in tact. Letting go of sin, particularly sexuality related sin can be really hard because sin doesn't always feel bad. A lot of sin does and has immediate consequences, which makes it particularly easy to avoid/stop doing but a lot of it doesn't. We live in a world where sin has permeated the deepest reaches of our universe and our own bodies. Our own judgement apart from Christ cannot always be trusted:

"The heart is deceitful above all things,     and desperately sick;     who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9

So it might not feel bad or wrong(it still doesn't feel that way to me personally), but we know God is objectively good and knows what is best, so if He says its bad, then its bad. There are reasons for this, but that's beyond the scope of this post so maybe another time. What I will also say though, is that the Christian life is hard in general and suffering is guaranteed. The apostles suffered--many of them endured gruesome deaths for the sake of the gospel, and even Jesus, the author and sustainer of our faith was abandoned by his friends and made to unjustly die on a cross with common criminals. If the son of God, the prince of peace, could not escape this fate then neither will we. This particular passage comes to mind:

"But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps" 1 Peter 2

The thing about Christian suffering is that none of it is meaningless. Because of God's grace and mercy He can use something that was never meant to exist (suffering and pain) and use it to bring us closer to Him and help build us into the people we should be, emulating God's character and love. These are some verses about suffering in regards to faith that I've found particularly helpful or enlightening:

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" 2 Cor 4:16-18 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" James 1:2-4

And as Christians we know for sure our suffering is not eternal. When we shed this mortal coil we will never feel the sting of sin ever again. And when the New heavens and the New earth are brought to fruition we will experience life as it always was supposed to be. And even now my life isn't just suffering. I'm doing very well now. I'm no longer depressed, I'm off medication (with doctor approval). I genuinely love my life. I'm super satisfied with being single, i freaking love it honestly lol. And my relationship with God is stronger than its ever been. Being side b isn't always easy but it really is not a death sentence devoid of happiness either!

[aprillikesthings]

Elsewhere Online I'm in a group for women who realized they were lesbians later than most

(I'm in a minority in the group for having been out as bisexual for years before changing my label; the majority of members thought they were straight)

And in between all the heartbreaking posts of people trying to decide whether to get divorced, are the stories of women finally dating/kissing/having sex with other women for the first time.

And some of those stories are SO SWEET if a little tragic

Like, "Oh, this is what attraction actually feels like"

"This is what I've been missing"

"This is what kissing/sex/romance is supposed to feel like and I never knew, how did I live this long without knowing that"

"I was so nervous to have sex with another woman because what if I'm not gay after all, but then I did, and OH GOD. I'M SO GAY"

There was a genuinely charming story posted recently--at an icebreaker thing at an event for lesbians, a woman confessed she still hadn't had her first kiss with a woman, and another woman there was like "oh hell yeah I'll kiss you, if you want" and said kiss was amazing (as bystanders cheered them on lol) and they proceeded to make out off and on all night

Another said she was on some app or another and her profile included the fact that she hadn't actually had sex with another woman yet, and someone messaged her like "...I can fix that for you lol" and they had a one-night thing. I was like "some lesbian across town saw the 'I'm a gay virgin' bat signal and said 'this is a job for ME'" and OP laughed and said, "yeah basically!" and they both went into it knowing it was a one-time thing but they both apparently had a great time.

Recently there was a post of "...I didn't know women were that soft???" and the whole comment section was people going "I KNOW RIGHT???" and talking about how their first time with another woman they couldn't stop just touching/petting her.

Anyway. Re: Divorce. Y'know how there's still that cultural idea that women don't really like sex? That men are always hornier than we are, want sex more than we do, "men are the gas and women are the brakes" and all of that bullshit?

One of the ways that fucks things up REAL BAD is the number of women who are actually gay and have no idea, because their marriages to men are fine other than the sex, and they just think that's normal. For years. Like some of these women are clearly married to men who are good people! They genuinely care about and love these men! They just...have always been ambivalent-at-best about sex with said men. And now they have to decide whether to end otherwise-happy marriages (and decide on custody of their kids, in a ton of cases) and all of that, just for the chance at getting a genuine romantic/sexual connection with a woman. Some of them are so clearly torn and I cannot blame them: "How can I do this to him? To my kids? What if turns out I'm not gay?"

(Me and other people often point out: your husband also deserves the chance to be with someone who is actually attracted to him, though.)

Like, bi/pan women do not usually have this problem? Or at least, it's way less common. Even if they don't realize they're sapphic until after they're married to a man, they're usually at least attracted to their husband, or were at some point.

It's specifically a problem for lesbians who don't/can't realize it until years later, because their sex lives with men are just Meh, and they so often think "well that's what being in a relationship is like, I guess; everyone knows men want sex more than women do, right?" ;_;

[pl4yboy-bunny]

being blacklisted by the friend group because i said lesphobic shit (i won’t even deny it, i absolutely lost my shit).

for some context, i went on a date with a lesbian, and when i say i’ve never met a more man obsessed woman, i’m not kidding. “men suck. women are so much better than men. they can’t do shit” like facts, but like i simply could not fathom why she kept bringing up men on our date. men are boring, why can’t we talk about something elseeee.

anyways, i know calling lesbian man-obsessed is rude, so my bad on that.

and apparently i made her feel “predatory” because i was uncomfortable when she got too touchy. so actually grabbing my thigh randomly is weird. like that one can’t be on me, right?

and then later on she went on another tangent about how she could treat me better and how she’d “turn me” IT’S 2024? WE KNOW BETTER THAN TO SAY THIS? not going to lie, my attraction to men is maybe 10%, but i have never felt a stronger desire to just fuck a man in that moment, purely out of spite.

like genuinely this woman was no better than a man. i’ve had better dates with men who ended up being trumpies which says a lot. worst date of my life. made me question if i even liked women (i do, ms. olsen re-confirmed that for me). like yeah you almost did turn me…STRAIGHT! most effective conversion therapy i’ve experienced.

also the constant self-comparison to men (I DIDN’T EVEN BRING UP MEN, SHE DID) really icked me and she got mad when i called her insecure.

so in the end, me calling her “man-obsessed,” “no better than a man,” “insecure,” and making her feel “predatory” was extremely lesbophobic, and like i disagree. i am herphobic! not afraid of lesbians! i don’t know how i ended up on a date with someone like her! genuinely worse than a man.

but like am i really the villain for losing my shit in this case?

[selamat-linting]

yknow growing up as lgbtq with an embarrassing kink and realizing sexuality from the lens of that fetish has always made me question myself. different from other ppl who grew up as a girl and realize theyre bi later in life, the first person i had a crush on was always women. the person i have daydreams for are always girls. i might have crushes on men, and i have plenty, and i talk a lot about it, but i can never find them sexually attractive from the lense of the kink i developed when i was seven years old. thats how i know im gay basically. i even have a case where a guy i had a crush on online turns out to be a girl, twice.

i guess i found men kind of gross in general? its strange. i thought i was a lesbian and then i thought i was asexual and had a whole angsty teenage phase about it that caused me to internally ping pong between two labels. like, i feel that my attraction to men is just comphet because i cant find them hot in this spesific scenario that always gets me good if a random woman was in it. i said i was bi, but its mostly because i dont mind dating men for social acceptability and friendship reasons, and because im still unsure if im a man or a woman or neither. i wouldnt mind dating men, some of them are nice and i dont think being friends and dating have much difference anyway. i have a guy irl that i absolutely adore and would love to cuddle for hours. but would i like it if i fuck them? not really. but i guess i have to do it because thats what a good partner is supposed to do. so thats the kind of bi i was from 2013-2022. even when i decided im genderfluid, not a full time girl nor a full time dude, my sexuality is very ambiguous.

until i saw that damned dog collar gifset and it sent me to a spiral. i began to find men legit hot in a physical way, and i develop a fixation on cm punk. i began to read a few porn, and i found a some... materials that happens to have my super secret embarrassing fetish that features him in it. and turns out im into it. like really really into it. he's different. i thought he'll simply end up as yet another men i like for a few months but can never truly have the hots with, but no. i really truly find him fuckable. the streak is broken. and he broke it.

so thats why im happy to call myself bi! i really am one. unless he decides to be a girl a few years down the line ofc. but thats unlikely right?

[commenter2]

"The Promening" review

No time for an intro, IT’S THE PROM EPISODE!!

I’m still really liking the Glitch Productions opening theme. I wonder if they would ever consider making a longer version of it? I challenge any song writers here or on YouTube to make a song about it.

Lights turning themselves off, not ominous at all.

(Reading missing poster) Great even in the distant future, The Office is still around.

If there machines, why do the drones need to wear glasses when they could replace them with spare parts? Then again having “spare parts” of fellow drones would probably be creepy.

So the metallic insects aren’t a part of Doll’s powers but are their own organisms.

I’m not going to question the drone with the burning hat, as it doesn’t matter….literally as he is a robot and fire can’t hurt robots.

Though it shows her crazy side, it’s nice to see Uzi trying to protect N when she realizes he is a suspect.

Uzi’s mother was crazy too!

Again, nice to see Uzi’s father try and help her.

Hanging out with the cheerleaders AND having your parent chaperoning a dance, this IS an angsty teens nightmare XD

N’s dramatic NO XD

Callback AND N is starting to remember his past!

It was cute seeing the bug wave to Uzi when she stops to not step on it.

Looks likes Lizzy knows Doll isn’t a regular Drone AND is working with her. A bit surprising but fitting with her bitchy personality.

When you ignore the head slicing (especially since DD’s can regenerate) it’s nice to see V caring about N.

The scene of Uzi’s DD powers activating every time she touches her left hand is interesting as it hints at her eventually learning to control it. However wouldn’t it be more fitting if she used her right hand as not only does it differ from Doll but that was the hand that got stabbed by N in the pilot.

So Doll IS a DD spy and want to let in V!

Blood? Or is the light effecting the color?

Wear the suit N!

Man Uzi is a fast and silent stacker!

Oh yeah, I’ve seen many Friday Night Funkin videos where Ruv has said that. Classic saying.

N IS WEARING THE SUIT!! :D

And Uzi X N shippers rejoiced!

Cat face Uzi :3

I give up, does anyone see a Waldo in the prom audience?

Drones doing the robot. Saddest shit you will ever see.

GO Thad!

Khan (after seeing teacher drinking): Does that even do anything for you?

Teacher (after swig): Not anymore.

Chibi robot poster!

The idea of Lizzy and V hanging out is interesting to me and I REALLY HOPE we see them interacting like this in later episodes, maybe actually becoming friends in the process or more as I think Lizzy might be a lesbian as she did say V was hotter then Doll.

So Doll’s plan isn’t to get with N OR help the DD cause but get revenge on V!

Knowing Lizzy is the daughter of the principal must mean something, even if it’s just knowing he will likely kick Uzi out of school cause his daughter was in danger. At least then she could go and find out what is going on with N.

That robot speaking after Rebecca, and saying V is cute to a female drone (maybe his date?) is another small example of how random and funny the shows humor is.

“Not… THE DOORS!” XD XD XD

OH NO! Doll’s plans is to Carrie V!

So Doll’s origins are that she witnessed V killing her parents, and now wants revenge. This ends my theory about her wanting to be with N, BUT NOW make me wonder who the new robot in N’s flashback is supposed to be?

That symbol’s new! I mean it’s just the hexagon with electron like rings around it, but still it must mean something.

As seen on Doll’s HUD, we now know that the telekinetic/ferrokinetic powers don’t work on things like itself, in this case Uzi, giving us more confirmation that Uzi is not an average worker drone.

Aww Uzi and N’s first flirt fight.

Trailer scene!

Bye Doll, you will be missed. At least now we can get some answers.

IDK why but just see Uzi and the others glowing eyes in the dark was pretty funny. Though how come N and V’s acid and head lights weren’t glowing until the lights came on?

N also doesn’t squish the bug. Uzi X N CONFIRMED XD

It’s funny how the dramatic scene of Uzi about to eat MD oil is just followed by an out of range shot of her finger being pulled out with a pop, and N giving her a thumbs up not knowing what happened.

Doll! Wow she can make some really cool holograms. I hope she uses that more to fight Uzi and the others in the future as that is the kind thing I want to see in later villains.

We finally see Uzi use her powers! It’s also interesting that Doll’s first reaction is that she is sorry for Uzi, but after seeing Uzi’s necklace having the same symbol as Doll’s bracelet makes it understandable. It also gives me a new theory about Doll and Uzi but more on that later, I can say that Uzi and Doll aren’t like this because they were infected by Disassembly Drones.

The other Murder Drones have arri IS THAT A HUMAN?

I’m kind of hoping it’s not as I have previously stated my want to get new robot models in the show. Maybe she could be that robot from N's flashback but was altered differently. If it is, then either JCJ has developed tight outfits that can protect wearers from radiated planets OR most likely, the planet was never hazardous but people think that that so humans can go back to the planet. As for why I’ll explain at the end of the video.

J 2.0!!!! I wonder if she’s bitchier than the OG J?

At least with this Tessa character, we now know how Uzi and the others will get to Earth now.

Another great episode with an interesting theme and a few new villains that we can expect to see in future episodes. Out of all we learned in this episode, I now have a new theory about what is going on with Uzi and Doll.

Though we don’t know much about JCJenson still, we can safely say they built robots and likely wanted to make better models as the company grew. I theorized that while on the planet, the corporation tested out a new advance version of the Worker Drones who had the ability to interact with metal and electrical objects, which would make moving heavy items and fixing computer errors easier and cut cost on making more drones and hiring humans to do that kind of stuff.

Of course something went wrong with their programming and these “Hacker Drones” as I’ll call them went rogue when they wanted to live regular lives like humans and caused chaos on the planet, likely being the real reason why the planet exploded as seen in the pilot. Now free of their human creators, the “Hacker Drones” were able to blend in with the Worker Drones and finally live their own lives alongside them, some even having kids like Doll and Uzi’s mothers who inherited their abilities which were unlocked when going through their unique traumas.

Realizing having robots like this still around could be dangerous, JCJenson created the Dissassembly Drones to hunt and destroy them BUT since the “Hacker Drones” looked like the average Worker Drone, they had no choice but to lie and quarantine the planet and have the Disassembly Drones hunt every robot just to be safe, and to prevent there company from bad press.

What did you think about the episode? What was your favorite part and do YOU have any theorizes about what will happen later in the series?

[justsome-di]

Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub, Everyone Keeps Their Organs: Chapter 17

Summary: Alex is an ordinary, highly-introverted office worker. He clocks in and out and goes home to his little apartment he shares with his younger sister. He hasn’t dated in years. Until his co-workers set him up on a blind date.

The only issue is he and his date are not on the same page. At all.

While Alex thinks it’s a normal date, Damián is under the impression Alex is a client who paid to be there. No-so-quickly, they realize something is up. It’s all a prank. Damián is a sex worker Alex’s co-workers hired as a sick joke.

After reassuring that they’re both okay, Alex decides he wants revenge for both him and Damián. The plan is to use the stigma of sex work and start a 6-week, scandalous fake dating scheme with a big finale at the office Halloween party. Alex’s co-workers will be too horrified to try to prank him again. At least, that’s the plan.

“This is Kris and Clara,” Martin said. “The couple friend I mentioned. Guys, this is Marcus and Alex.���

Kris and Clara sat on the couch, glasses of wine already in their hands.

Lesbians.

Huh.

For some reason, Alex hadn’t expected Martin to have gay friends.

“I’m Kris.” She had very short, coily hair that was shaved down at the sides and piled up high on top. She wore a flannel top and chunky combat boots. All Alex could think about was how much Eve would have loved to know where she shopped.

“I’m not Kris.” Clara had longer, blonde hair wrapped up in a bun piled on the top of her head. She wore a short-sleeved button-down top that Alex was 90% sure he also owned. There was a joke there about lesbian and gay man fashion, but Alex would have to think about what it was.

Eve was going to be thrilled that Alex had spent his evening with a married lesbian couple. He was going to have to memorize every single detail about them just in case Eve had a million questions.

“I’m Marcus,” Damián said.

“I’m Alex,” Alex said.

“They’ve told us all about you two,” Kris said.

“Not really,” Martin said. “We really only told them a few things.”

Damián opened his mouth but then quickly closed it. Alex could feel him holding back another harsh comment.

“Thank you for inviting us,” Damián said. And then turning to the women, “It’s very nice to meet you.”

Martin gestured to the sitting area, trying to nudge the awkward greetings to an end.

Alex had never been to a co-worker’s apartment before. Martin and Sam’s place was cute. Larger than his own. There were paintings on the walls and one wedding picture hanging above a short and wide bookcase. There was a framed picture of a cockapoo who, in real life, was currently sitting between Kris and Clara, getting plenty of pets.

Damián must have noticed the dog at the same time as Alex because he let out a coo, “A dog!” and sat on the loveseat across from the lesbians.

“His name is Yam,” Martin said.

“His name is Yam,” Damián cried.

It was like his heart couldn’t take it.

Kris and Clara released Yam and gently nudged him to Damián. Yam jumped down and, eager for attention, trotted up to Damián’s ankles. Ecstatic, Damián picked him up and set him on his lap. Yam’s tail wagged so hard he was almost hitting himself. His backside thrashed around from the force making him lose his balance on his hind legs.

“His name is Yam,” Damián repeated to Alex.

“I heard.” Alex took a seat next to Damián and patted Yam on the head. He narrowly missed getting his hand licked. “I’m more of a cat person.”

“Well, now you can be a cat person and a Yam person.” Damián lifted Yam’s front legs and turned him to Alex. “I think he likes you.”

Yam’s tongue lolled out of his mouth like it was too big to fit inside. He looked at Alex for a few seconds before turning towards his approaching mother.

“He looks indifferent,” Alex said.

“We named him Yam because he looked like a Yam when we rescued him,” Sam said. She scratched the underside of his chin. “He likes to be scratched here.”

“I’m obsessed,” Damián said.

Yam was a light brown, almost orange color. His fur curled up to hide almost all of his face. His eyes and nose were barely visible. If it wasn’t gaping open, Alex wouldn’t be able to see his mouth behind his bushy mustache.

Martin passed two glasses of wine to Alex. He quietly thanked him and tried handing one to Damián. Damián was too distracted by rubbing Yam’s floppy ears to notice, so Alex laid the glass on the end table.

They sat around the living room. Sam sat with the other women, and Martin took the only chair in the room. It was a spacious area. The “sitting room” sat lower than the rest of the apartment, and that simple design made the apartment feel so much more bougie. The step down made the area feel like an actual room.

It could fit way more furniture than Alex could ever dream of having in his own apartment. Maybe it was the advantage of having double income. Or maybe it was just that Martin definitely made more money than him. Either way, Alex was jealous.

“So, Alex,” Kris said. “We know you work with Martin, right?”

“Yeah. I’m the administrative assistant in our office.”

“Ooh. Sounds fancy.”

“It’s just a nice way of saying I’m the secretary.”

“But without him, we would all be late to meetings and not a single fax would be sent,” Martin said, laying it on so thick Alex thought he might need a shovel to dig through it.

“You guys send faxes?” Clara asked. “Are you only allowed to operate like it’s the 90s?”

“They’re more secure than emails, and they don’t violate HIPPA,” Alex said, finally ready to finish the thoughts he had tried telling his co-workers for years. “A lot of medical offices still request them for privacy reasons. And when we deal with patient information, we have to follow the same guidelines.”

“Hmm,” Kris hummed. “I never knew that.”

“Neither did I,” Martin said. “So, better put, Alex also keeps us from getting sued.”

Alex didn’t respond. He only gave Martin a quick glance.

“Marcus, Martin and Sam didn’t tell us what you do,” Clara said.

Without looking up from Yam who was now receiving a great two-hand scratch under his chin, Damián said, “I’m a sex worker.”

Alex held his breath. He cautiously turned to Kris and Clara. Their eyes were wide with surprise. Or maybe awe. It was hard to tell with all the blood rushing from his face.

“That’s genuinely so cool,” Kris said.

Damián shrugged. “It’s just a job. I like working with people, so I found a very people-y career.”

“Right. That’s how I feel. Only with dead people.”

Damián finally looked up from Yam. “Okay. Explain, please.”

“Kris is a curator in a museum,” Clara said. “She likes to make it sound as dramatic as possible.”

“I like the idea of people, but I don’t like being around them.” Kris held up her hands. “Not that I don’t like hanging around you guys.”

It earned her an obligatory laugh.

“I think I get it,” Damián said. “The idea of community is more palatable than going out and seeing people sometimes.”

“Studying how people interact is always less exhausting than actually interacting with people. I don’t lose any social battery this way.”

“I could be around people all day.”

Alex believed it. Damián was thriving sitting on that loveseat, surrounded by five other people and a dog who was begging for more affection.

“What do you like about people?” Damián asked. “Is it how people visit museums to see stuff about other people? Or is it how you can study people who are dead?”

“It’s a bit of both,” Kris said. Her eyes were bright. “When I get to pick up a bowl from a thousand years ago, I think about who else has held it, how it was used for the first time, all that shit. I get to learn about how it was made, and I can imagine who made it. Or when we get a toy, I just think about how an adult, somewhere, had to have made that for a child. And that child had to have been so excited to play with it. But I get to hold it now, all these years later, and years after me, someone else will hold it, and we all become part of this huge thing that started out as mundane and routine for the people who first handled it.”

Alex must have been more uncultured than he had initially known because he had never thought about museums like that. To him, they were quiet, dim buildings filled with stuff that looked a little bit like the stuff he had in his own apartment. He had never taken any time to think about the people attached to those things. He had never taken any time to think about how his things were attached to himself. Maybe in a hundred years someone would find his French press and feel connected with him over a shared love of pretentious coffee-making techniques.

“I think about sex work like that,” Damián said. “I get to meet with a client, and I get to be one part of this person’s life. And a lot of the time, people say sex work is free of all feelings, you know? Like in Pretty Woman, Vivian has that whole thing where she doesn’t kiss anyone because it’s too personal? I don’t think you can manage to isolate all feelings with sex work. I’ve had so many clients who just want someone physically with them, and then they feel relief and reassurance and, just, simple companionship. And sometimes that’s all they need to motivate themselves to find more personal connections with other people, and then I become a dot in that social web.”

Alex’s heart swelled. He could listen to Damián talk about sex for hours.

“That’s beautiful,” Clara said. “You have to be an extrovert for the job, don’t you?”

“I think it helps,” Damián said. “For your own sake. But I know some introverts who recharge alone between clients and won’t leave their apartments unless they’re working.”

“Unlike you right now?”

“I like people! I get my energy from others.”

There was no mention that he was, in fact, working right then with his client sitting right next to him.

Everyone settled into conversation. Alex even felt comfortable enough to start talking at times, offering his insights on the state of history museums, the medical industry, and even weighed in on what Yam’s Halloween costume should be. A firefighter, he agreed, would be the more ethical option over cop.

And then, finally, Kris and Clara asked the question Alex was hoping he wouldn’t have to answer.

“How did you two meet?”

Alex and Damián looked at each other. Martin sunk low into his chair.

“Well,” Damián said to Alex. “Do you want to tell them or?”

“You can,” Alex said.

Damián tried looking casual. “It started out as a prank. Someone hired me pretending to be Alex and told him that they were setting him up on a real date with a friend. And they let me believe it was just a normal appointment. He went through a whole dinner thinking it was a blind date, and I thought he was a client. Needless to say, things got a bit awkward.”

“Oh god.” Kris curled her lip up in disgust. “Isn’t that identity theft or something? Who did that?”

Martin, face red, sheepishly raised his hand. Damián gave him a pointed look.

“Martin,” Clara groaned. “What the hell? That’s not funny.”

“That’s what I told him,” Sam said.

“It wasn’t just me,” Martin said. “It was a few guys at the office.”

“What the fuck?” Kris said. “Why would you do that to them?”

“I didn’t—It wasn’t—I feel really bad about it. I’ve been trying to apologize for two weeks now, but I keep botching it.”

Sam’s face was also bright red, but she didn’t confess to her own faux pas.

Damián nudged Alex, tossed a glance at Martin, and shrugged. Alex was pretty sure he knew what he was asking, so he nodded.

“We can forgive you,” Damián said. “Totally. You’ve been absolved of all your sins.”

Martin looked quite pleased and relieved.

“Yay!” Clara clapped. “Martin, you’re still a dick. Your work friends are a bad influence on you.”

“Yeah.” Martin pulled at his sweater. “They might be.”

Alex wanted to hear more about that. He wanted the gossip on Andrew and Stu—mostly Andrew. He had endured their bullying for years, he wanted to know how the inner workings of their circle were dysfunctional.

But Damián laid his hand on Alex’s back, and Alex’s brain short-circuited. Every nerve ending in his body lit up in ecstasy.

“We can move on,” Damián said. “I’m glad Alex and I met, and that’s all that really matters. And, really, the more we dwell on it, the worse things get. Alex and I are ready to put it all behind us.”

He was now rubbing Alex’s back, his fingers moving up and down his spine. Alex was completely out of commission. It was such a simple touch, and yet Alex’s heart was racing. Something under his belt was starting to wake up, too, and Alex was scared that Damián kept going, he was going to pop a boner right there in front of everyone.

“In that case, does anyone want to play Trivial Pursuit?” Sam asked.

Kris groaned. “I was hoping you would forget about it this time.”

“Nope! We never forget!”

“I do want a rematch.” Clara pointed at Martin. “I’ve been studying.”

“You’ve been studying?” Martin asked. “Studying what?”

“Everything.” Clara waved her hand around in gentle, slow circles. “The world.”

Kris sighed and drained the rest of her wine. “Let me go to the bathroom before we start. I need to walk through the breathing exercises my therapist taught me.”

“I’ll get the game,” Martin said.

“Clara, I made little, tiny desserts,” Sam said. “Can you help me carry them in?”

“Only if they’re super cute tiny desserts.”

And somehow Damián and Alex were alone, awaiting a game of Trivial Pursuit. Even Yam had gotten up to retreat to his dog bed in the corner.

Damián pressed his palm flat to Alex’s back. He leaned in close until his nose almost touched Alex’s ear. “Are you doing okay?” he whispered.

“Yeah.”

“Just let me know if you’re not, and I can make something up to get us out of here.”

He laid his other hand on Alex’s knee, and that felt. Different. There was no one around who could see. There was no one to convince they were a real couple. If they were truly alone, if there wasn’t a risk of anyone stepping back in in the next minute, Alex wondered what Damián would do next.

“I think I’m actually enjoying myself,” Alex said. He was breathless. He’d have to excuse himself to do breathing exercises of his own in the bathroom.

“Good!”

Everyone returned, and Damián pulled his hands away from Alex. He left behind little cold patches on Alex where his body heat had been.

Clara picked up a tiny cookie, complimenting Sam on how she managed to make it so little. Martin sat up the board on the coffee table.

Alex hadn’t played Trivial Pursuit in years. It had been popular right before he was born, and he was familiar with the maroon box that sat in his parents’ hallway closet. Martin and Sam had an updated version that boasted its newness on the front. No more answers like “West Germany” or questions about what briefly-popular 1950s actor won an Oscar in what year.

“We’re kinda nerds,” Kris said. “Martin is the best out of all of us because he knows so much useless shit.”

Alex looked at Martin, sympathetically. His secret was safe with Alex. Martin could be a closet nerd as long as Martin was kinder to Alex and Damián, which Alex was confident was going to happen.

They split into their teams and rolled their die to decide who would go first. Alex let Damián choose their color—blue—and grabbed the first card for Martin and Sam. He cupped his hand around the back to block the answers.

“’What was the first music video to air on MTV?’” Alex read.

“‘Video Killed the Radio Star’,” Martin said.

Alex flipped the card over over. “Yup.”

“That one was easy,” Damián said.

“Everyone knows that,” Kris said.

Sam rolled again. An impressive four. Clara took a card and read a sports question. Sam answered correctly. The pattern continued, annoyingly, for another two turns until neither Sam nor Martin could answer what the former capital of Japan was.

“Alex, Damián,” Kris asked, “who hosted the first FIFA World Cup in 1930?”

Alex had never paid attention to soccer. He was impressed he even knew what sport the World Cup was for. But Damián’s eyes were wide, and he inched forward on the couch cushions.

“Uruguay!” he shouted—though he didn’t need to shout.

“Yeah!” Kris cheered.

“Do you like soccer?” Alex asked.

“Haven’t I told you?” Damián asked.

“No. It’s never come up.”

There was so much more about Damián Alex wanted to learn. He wanted to know what sports teams he cheered for, what his favorite meal was, what he actually did when he wasn’t working.

“Well,” Damián said. “I like soccer.”

“Roll again,” Clara told them, stern. “Talk about soccer later.”

Alex rolled a two. They were now one tile away from their first plastic piece of pie.

“’What are the members of Queer Eye referred to as?”

“The Fab Five!” Damián and Alex said in unison.

“Gay advantage,” Clara said, rolling her eyes and smiling.

Alex wanted to ask Damián if he wanted to watch the show later—the original. There were so many good memories of watching it in high school, in secret. Not that his parents cared. They also watched it on occasion, and Alex would always pretend like he had something better to do rather than sit through an episode with them, a confused feeling of guilt stirring inside him. 

Damián and Alex crushed the next three questions, getting their pie piece for Science and Nature. Damián nudged Alex every time they answered a question right, smiling and laughing.

Kris and Clara pulled ahead eventually. Then, Martin and Sam caught up. In the end, they all had five pieces and were leaning into the board like children.

Alex had never seen Martin relax and laugh. He was usually so stiff at work. Now, he looked goofy.

And Damián looked wonderfully happy. He was beaming. After two correct answers, they had landed on the pink wedge tile—the last one they needed to win.

“’What 1990 romantic comedy film was based on a Roy Orbison song?’” Kris read.

Damián’s mouth fell open. He grabbed Alex’s arm.

“You know this,” he said. “We just watched it together last week. I mentioned it, like, two hours ago.”

They had only ever watched one movie together.

“Pretty Woman?” Alex asked. 

“Goddammit!” Kris shouted, trying to throw the card down on the table. It gently floated down among the others.

Sam groaned and fell into the back of the couch with her arm dramatically thrown over her eyes. Martin scoffed. Clara quietly applauded.

And Damián grabbed Alex by the shoulders.

“Did we win?” Alex asked. “Was that it?”

“Yes! See, I knew it was a good idea to force you to watch Pretty Woman!”

And Damián wrapped his arms around Alex, pulling him into a tight hug. Alex froze there for a moment. Damián’s body was warm around him. Slowly, Alex laid his hands on Damián’s back. He could feel Damián’s shoulder blades, strong and poking out just a little. He could feel his heartbeat and the softness of his sweater against his skin.

They pulled apart, Damián keeping his head low as he turned back to the board and the others. Alex couldn’t see his face. He could see just part of a smile.

“And Martin and Sam’s win streak comes to an end!” Kris cheered.

“You fuckers,” Martin said, though he was smiling, cheeks rosy from the excitement.

“This feels good,” Clara said. “Cathartic. And we’d love to celebrate your defeat, but we should really head out.”

“Us too,” Alex said. It was already going on 10. It would be his bedtime soon.

They helped tidy. Damián carried empty wine glasses to the kitchen and complimented Sam on her wine choice for the night. Sam spoke so easily to him, the tension from the week before forgotten between them.

“You and Marcus are a cute pair,” Kris said.

Alex, his heart starting to ache, shrugged. “Thanks.”

“You two just… mesh well. I know you haven’t known each other for long, but I hope it all works out.”

Alex looked back to the kitchen at Damián. He was wrapped up in a conversation with Sam. He leaned against the counter, arms crossed, head tilted.

They did mesh well. Alex firmly believed that. Damián was fun to hang around even if that evening had added another $200 to Alex’s bill. God. He was going to cry the day that Venmo transaction went through and his bank account reached an even sadder number than it was already at.

“You two are good together,” Martin said, face flushing. “So it might sound wrong, but I’m glad we did go through with the prank.”

Clara rolled her eyes. “Martin—“

“You’ve always been so timid,” Martin said. “We’ve known each other for, what? Six years? And this is the first time you’ve ever come out of your shell around the office. Whenever Marcus picks you up, you smile at him and rush out with him. You’ve never done that before.”

“I’ve never smiled before?”

“You’ve never smiled while running out of the office with someone else.”

Alex hadn’t realized he had been so sappy towards Damián. How embarrassing.

“I didn’t know you watch me from across the office,” Alex said.

“I usually don’t. But I really have felt guilty about the prank. And whenever Marcus comes in,” Martin lowered his voice. “Whenever he comes in, Andrew and Stu—mostly Andrew—has something to say, and I don’t know. They’re kinda pissing me off. So I let them leave on their own at the end of the day, and I end up watching you guys.”

Wow. That was way more thoughtful than Alex had ever expected.

“Can I ask why you guys did it in the first place?” Alex asked. “The prank? It was really stupid.”

“It was Andrew’s idea. I don’t know why he thought of it, but he said that if we got you a prost—a sex worker, then it would be doing you a favor. That you needed to loosen up. And Stu was jumping in, and then I couldn’t really say no.”

“You could have,” Kris said. “You could have said no.”

“I could have,” Martin said. “And I should have.”

But then Alex wouldn’t have ever met Damián, and he wouldn’t be sitting in a group of people who could be potential new friends. And he would have never gotten the chance to see the softer side of Martin.

He knew what peer pressure was like. He was starting to see the type of person Andrew really was—a bully, obviously, but a really nasty one.

“It’s okay,” Alex said. “I guess it worked out.”

But God, wasn’t that selfish? Damián could have been in real danger.

Damián walked up behind Alex and laid his hands on his arms. It was more touching than Damián really needed to do for the job. “Ready to head out?” he asked, rubbing Alex’s arms up and down.

Alex rose, wondering if that was how couples really acted. Damián grabbed Alex’s coat before sliding his own on. Kris and Clara lingered behind, slowly making their way to the coat rack.

In the elevator down to the lobby, Alex thought about Kris and Martin’s words. What was that hug about? And did Damián notice how Alex smiled at him?

“Do you want to do something else?” Damián asked.

“What?”

“It’s still early. We can go out or something.”

“It’s almost 10.”

“Ooh. Sorry. Forgot you have a normal job.” Alex thought Damián was being sincere for a moment. “I can take you home, and you can tuck yourself in bed and go to sleep for a whole eight hours. And then you can go to your little office job.”

Damián’s lower lip was jutted out in a fake pout. Alex shoved him with his shoulder.

“You’re making fun of me,” Alex said.

“We’re young! Let’s get a little ice cream or something and then you can go to sleep.”

Alex wouldn’t have said no for any reason. He followed Damián to the curb and climbed into an Uber to get to what Damián claimed was the best ice cream place in the world. Damián sat closer to him in the car than he needed to be.

Their date was over, after all. Damián could have gone home, job complete. $200 added to the total. But he was insisting on more time with Alex. And Alex could only tell himself that something good was happening.

[tuiyla]

I'm a men hating lesbian lol but even I feel a twinge of sadness when I think of bram and what great friends they could've been. I hadn't paid any attention to sam until s4 started and I was glad to see a friend for brittany since she was so sad without santana. They have somewhat similar personalities and I thought seeing them get into all kinds of funny shenanigans would have been a lot of fun but I guess we can't have platonic friendships on glee and no one can ever stay single. Imo sam isn't a bad friend but he's a terrible boyfriend. He would've been a better character if he were never made to date anyone lmao btw how funny or ludicrous is it that bram never talked after they broke up, although now that I'm thinking about that's the case with most relationships on glee, they end and then the people in question never exchange two words again

Oh absolutely agree, I've long maintained that Bram could have been great if only they didn't feel the need to make it another pointless romantic ship. Like you say, most of them never even talk after a breakup. My forever sadness about Glee is that they wasted so much time on these midgame ships instead of developing friendships and real bonds between the characters. You expect me to believe Bram was real while it lasted when they literally never ever talk again? Okay.

I was glad to see the two bond in Britney 2.0 though I was already dreading the inevitable. Idk man it just takes away from Sam's character to have him go after Brittany a) so soon after her breakup when she's clearly vulnerable, makes him look like an asshole really and b) ignore his past relationships and have him claim he's "always had a thing for her." Literally What. Ridiculous. Everything about Bram could be fixed if it was kept platonic. Imagine a version where he's there for Brittany as a friend, not as someone who wants to get into her pants. It turns something sweet into something gross. Obviously their sexual attraction is not inherently gross, obviously for all the bad faith peeps out there; it's that the story they present makes it feel like that's all that mattered.

But had Bram stayed platonic, we could have them bond over feeling left behind by graduate exes. Bond over insecurities and even body image, bond over the silliness that they get dismissed for otherwise. Except, Brittany genuinely thought Sam was funny and unique and smart and he automatically assumed the lowest SAT score was hers. Funny that. But hey isn't a version where someone other than Santana appreciated Britt's intelligence and is there as a friend great. But you know the season already had the Blam friendship to hype up and the writers didn't give two fucks about developing Bram's dynamic beyond using it to stomp on Brittana/occasionally Samcedes. Sam spends so much more time with Blaine that season and honestly I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Britt spends more time with the newbies than her boyfriend. The newbies! Famously a different species altogether.

That's my main problem with Bram and all lazy Glee midgame ships. They get together and the writers call it a day because obviously people who are dating don't also need to be friends and, idk, talk. Well that's far from my only problem with Bram lol, in fact what we had of them was more than enough thank you very much. But I would have welcomed more of them had it been a friendship not a lame attempt at a midgame ship.

Side note but my pet peeve is when people "blame" Sam's decline in intelligence and common sense compared to season 2 on Brittany. Common argument is, they dumbed him down for her. To that I say, Sam wishes he was on Brittany's level.

[inamindfarfaraway]

Animaniacs (2020) LGBT+ Pride Song

I wrote a song I would have the Warner siblings sing in a potential LGBT+ Pride celebration episode. Obviously you can’t hear the tune and music, but I can, and I’ll tell you it’s fast, very bouncy and cheerful in the classic Animaniacs educational list song-style. You can’t tell me Yakko wouldn’t love to make a song out of the acronym. The title of this segment could be “Easy as L, G, B…”. It could start with a bystander of a Pride parade complaining not maliciously, but ignorantly that "there are so many identities these days" and it's "too confusing", so the Warners show up (out of the parade, obviously) to break things down.

The Pinky and the Brain segment would have the two mice finally confessing their feelings and officially becoming a couple. We all want it!

The other Warner siblings segment could be a sketch with their presence added to either a famous point of queer history or a myth or story including queer representation. Ooh, how about them trying unsuccessfully to help a histrionic disaster bi Apollo get a male or female partner who doesn’t die and/or turn into a plant? “Hello, nymph!” He refuses to associate with Eros because he sees him as a rival archer (“Isn’t your twin sister another archer?” “Yeah, and we’re rivals.”). The Warners are happy to step in. Artemis meanwhile, unequivocally not into dating or romance, observes her brother’s string of failures with some pity, but mostly amusement and wry comments. At the end the Warners finally manage to set Apollo up in a genuine, equally loving and respectful relationship with the mortal man Hyacinthus, certain he’s a keeper, and the couple stroll off hand in hand in a picturesque romantic scene. "Hey, for our first date, maybe we could go discus throwing?" "Sounds perfect."

Anyway, I have the visuals of the song in my head, but they’re very dynamic and I can’t be bothered to fully describe them. The initial real world setting is a Pride parade; the bulk of the song is in an abstract space with various manipulatable pride flag backdrops and informational diagrams and example couples and so on; then they return to the parade in the finals chorus. I personally don’t feel very strongly about the nonbinary Wakko headcanon, but I get why it’s a thing and know it means a lot to a lot of people, and it would be cool to be confirmed. I think it should get its own segment were it to become canon. It does give me a cute mental image of Wakko wearing a version of his sweatshirt in the nonbinary or demiboy flag stripes. And the “gender balanced” phrase in the theme song would be more true, with Wakko standing on top of the scales in the middle or something.

Yakko: G for gay -

Dot: And L for lesbian

Yakko: Have meanings much the same

Only the same gender as you can light that special flame

Dot: It’s found all across history, and the animal scene

So the US let them marry nationwide in - 2015?!

(sighs) America is always more disappointing than I remember.

Wakko: B is for bisexual, you like two genders or more

Yakko: Guys, girls or any other, so much nuance to explore

Dot: Now it’s true pansexuality is liking many genders too

Wakko: But when you’re pan gender really doesn’t matter to you

Yakko: Heck, you can be bi and pan if you don’t get the difference!

That brings us to asexual, the oft-neglected A

It means you simply do not feel the need for any ‘adult play’

That’s by no means essential, so a problem there is none

Unless society’s obsession with the business counts as one

Dot: A stands for aromantic too, as attraction can be split

You may feel the physical part, but not the lovey-dovey bit

Wakko: Demisexuals feel ace until they meet a special case

If neither’s there don’t worry, that just makes you aroace!

Warners: Whether you haven’t found a label

Or’ve been sure of yours since birth

No one should be able to deprive you of your worth

If you’re long gone from the closest

Or you'd rather stay inside

No one can erase your place in life’s crazy, wild ride

That’s why we celebrate Pride!

Wakko: Hey, we missed the T.

Yakko: Oh yeah. I thought it might be easier to have the verses for sexualities and genders be separate. You know, because they're totally separate things.

Dot: That makes sense. I bags the first verse!

T is for transgender, a blanket label widely worn

Your gender isn’t what the doctor said when you were born

That one’s names and clothes and stuff can cause you much distress

Though if you wanna keep them, you aren’t made trans any less

Yakko: Growing up we often learn that the genders number two

But there's documented history that proves that isn’t true

Wakko: Some people are nonbinary, and some lean either way

Dot: The genderfluid may be anything at any time of day

Wakko: But wait, why do we even need a binary at all?

One not one big massive spectrum upon which we all can fall?

Dot: The human experience comes in endless shapes and forms

You can’t hope to contain them in one culture’s set of norms

Yakko: Yes, heteronormativity is a social construct utterly

A person is a person and so we should all live free

Warners and Pride Parade Ensemble: Whether you know exactly who you are

Or you’re questioning or queer

If you feel abhorred, then rest assured, you belong right here

No one’s ever put us down for good

Although many have tried

That’s why we celebrate Pride

Warners: And if you’re cis and straight

No need to wait

Allies are always great!

All: So come on and celebrate… Pride!

Wakko: Now what do we do?

Yakko: Have fun! But first, we need to turn off our phones. The fans are gonna go nuts over which of us sang what lines of -

[He starts vibrating like a jackhammer with incessant notifications. Wakko and Dot quickly turn their phones off.]

[softtrobed]

hm would you write a fic about annie coming out to jeff? i love their friendship and brother/sister relationship :)

thank you so much for this request! i honestly got a bit emotional writing this. annie coming out to jeff is something that can honestly be so personal...

there's some focus on annie coming out to other members of the study group, but it does mainly focus on her and jeff. i hope that's okay :)

Annie had decided to come out to her friends in the same way she tended to do most things: efficiently and beginning by making a list.

Well, she supposed the most efficient way would be to come out to all of them at the same time, but this way would be more effective in the long run. She knew they’d all have very different reactions, different questions to ask, different levels of surprise, so if they all found out at once, most likely no one’s questions would get answered (not just the ones she would politely ignore), the group would start talking over each other, someone would yell at Pierce and it would almost be forgotten what the point of the conversation even was. This way, although it would take longer, everyone would hopefully be satisfied.

She told Troy and Abed first. That was the easiest, as because the two were a couple, she had no doubt they’d be accepting. Additionally, in the time they’d lived together, she had a feeling they’d already picked up on some of her not-so-straight behaviours: the girl-crushes she formed on the pretty women in the movies they watched together and her disinterest or non-romantic affection towards the men she knew she was ‘supposed’ to swoon over; the way she giggled and twirled her hair while on the phone with a certain girl from Greendale she’d recently reconnected with; the one time she didn’t delete her search history from the apartment computer and Abed may or may not have seen her recent searches, which included among others, ‘am I gay test,’ ‘comphet meaning’ and ‘can you be straight but think girls are really pretty and rarely have long lasting feelings for men?’

She’d come out to them over breakfast one day, and they basically had the best response she could have wished for. They were totally cool with it, but didn’t make it a big deal. They joked about how she was no longer the token straight roommate, she hugged both of them, and the day went on as normal.

Annie had crossed their names off her list with a big smile on her face.

Next had been Britta. Annie had also guessed that she’d be accepting, as what had happened with Paige last year had been a bit misguided but well-intentioned. At least Annie didn’t have to worry about Britta only wanting to be her friend because she was a lesbian, because they were already friends, and Annie suspected Britta had learned her lesson.

As expected, Britta reacted well. Perhaps too well, loudly proclaiming her supporting for the LGBTQ community before asking a string of questions about what it was like dating girls and if kissing them was different if you were sobre and/or not doing it to prove you weren’t homophobic. Annie explained she didn’t know - she actually hadn’t kissed a girl yet - but did wonder if Britta’s questions weren’t just due to her being an ally. She could be wrong, but she had read something about queer people having a way of spotting each other. Still, it wasn’t her place to assume anything, and she put the thought out of her mind as she crossed off Britta’s name.

Next was Jeff. This was a bit trickier. Once again, she didn’t think Jeff would be at all homophobic (unless he turned out to be one of those men who only viewed relationships between women as hot, but she’d cross that bridge if she came to it), but coming out to him made her nervous for another reason. Ever since they’d kissed at the Transfer Dance, his feelings for her had seemed unclear. At first, he’d seemed determined to forget it ever happened - which she’d found unfair at the time, but now appreciated - but lately, it was possible he had actually become interested in her. It felt… really weird, when she thought about it for too long. Not only was she definitely not interested in him, but, partially due to their age gap, their relationship felt too close to a father-daughter or older brother-younger sister relationship to be romantic. Sometimes she wondered why she’d ever liked him like that at all.

Although, since she’d extensively researched what comphet was and realised that was undoubtedly what she’d been experiencing, she could understand a bit better she’d never really liked him to begin with, she’d just latched onto a seemingly unattainable man to convince herself she could be attracted to guys, yet again.

As everyone packed up their stuff to leave the study room, Annie remained seated. “Um, Jeff,” she said. “We’ve both got a free period now, right?”

“Right,” Jeff replied, not looking up from his phone.

“Would you mind if I talked to you about something?”

He looked at her curiously. “Yeah, sure.”

Troy, Abed and Britta had clearly all realised what was going on. Abed gave her a small, supportive smile, Troy gave a quick thumbs up, and Britta winked in a way Annie guessed was meant to be subtle, but no doubt everyone in the room saw.

“Come on, guys,” she said, ushering the others out of the room. “This sounds important, and private, and we’ve all got classes to get to.”

Shirley stopped, muttering that she’d forgotten a textbook, but Britta practically pushed her out of the door as Abed said in a deep voice, seeming to have taken the opportunity to act like a security guard, “Keep it moving.”

Annie smiled as she watched them leave, her friends dramatics a pleasant distraction from what she was about to do. She turned back to Jeff to see he’d put his phone down. Clearly, he knew this was serious. “So,” he said. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

Annie opened her mouth, let out a squeak, then closed it. This was going to be difficult. Maybe she should have just come out to everyone at the same time, the consequences be damned. That way, she would have got it all over with at once.

“Annie, is everything okay?” Jeff sounded so genuine in his concern, a relatively rare sight. “You know you can tell me if something’s bothering you?”

“No, everything’s fine,” she assured him, finding her voice, but he didn’t look convinced. She took a deep breath. “I was thinking recently about that time we kissed.” He looked confused for a second. Didn’t he remember that night? Not that she cared, of course. “You know? During the dance at the end of our first year? I had just decided not to move to Delaware with Vaughn-”

“Right, right,” he cut her off. “I remember. Sorry, go ahead.”

“Thank you,” she said curtly. “So, I’ve been thinking about our kiss, and-”

Once more, he interrupted her. This was just getting annoying. “Annie, look, I know I’ve been giving… pretty mixed signals about my feelings for you, or if I even have any, but lately I’ve taken a good look at myself, and realised that it would never really feel right to be with you. For many reasons, none of which are your fault. It’s just that you’re much younger than me, and you often feel like a little sister to me - as well as a friend, of course - so I’m sorry, but-”

“Jeff.” Her firm tone silenced him.

There, she thought. How does it feel to be interrupted?

“I don’t want to be with you either!”

“Really?” he checked. “Because it wouldn’t be your fault if you did, I’m the one who needs to keep whatever feelings I have for you in check. Plus, I mean, I wouldn’t blame you…”

She rolled her eyes, but a smile began creeping onto her face. “I swear. I was going to say that I’ve been thinking about that kiss because of how, back then, I thought I really liked you. In a romantic way, I mean. But recently, I’ve realised that I just made myself think I liked you, even loved you. I wanted to convince myself I could be attracted to men, so just like with Troy in high school, I picked an unattainable - or so I thought - man. In his case: someone cool and popular who I thought would never notice ‘little Annie Aderal.’ With you, a cool, older guy who just saw me as a child.”

“Annie.” Jeff’s tone was serious but not annoyed. “Are you saying what I think you are?”

She nodded, her lips a thin line. “I’m a lesbian, Jeff. I really hope this doesn’t change things between us, although, honestly, knowing you don’t want to be with me is a big relief, because I was worried I’d break your heart or make things weird, but…” She paused. She was getting ahead of herself. “Well, have I made things weird?”

“Of course you haven’t! Thank you for telling me, that was really brave, especially if you thought I was still interested in you.”

“Thanks,” she said. She quickly added, “It’s not that I thought you’d react really badly. I don’t see you as someone who thinks he’s somehow entitled to any women he has feelings for, but still… I didn’t want to hurt you.”

He stood up, walking around to her side of the table, presumably to remove the physical and metaphorical distance between them, and gesturing for her to stand up as well, which she did. “You haven’t hurt me at all, Annie, I promise. I care about you, so much, even - no, especially - as a friend, and I just want you to be happy. Even if I was madly in love with you - which, thankfully, I’m not - I could never be upset at you, or anyone, for this.”

Annie could feel tears forming in her eyes. “Aww, Jeff!” She practically threw herself at him, wrapping him in a tight hug which he happily returned, laughing.

“Okay, we don’t have to make this all dramatic,” he said, but Annie was sure he sounded a bit choked up.

They came apart, smiling at each other for a few seconds before Jeff hesitantly reached out and gave her a pat on the head. “For old time’s sake,” he explained.

Annie had never felt happier while being given a head pat, which didn’t say much, she knew, but it was accurate, as she’d probably felt happier in general at some point in her life. Still, this was definitely in her top ten.

That night, she crossed off Jeff’s name, remembering the days she would doodle hearts as she wrote down his name, or paired her first and his last. This time, she instead drew a little smiley face. That was far more accurate, she thought. The thought of Jeff no longer made her heart flutter in her chest, but he made her smile, and she was more than happy with that.

[ladyblogger-margie]

Pride Parade

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Bucky Barnes (MCU)

Summary: Sam goes to Pride and just happens to run into Bucky Barnes, his crush, while both navigate their roles in the LGBT community as bisexual men and Avengers. 

Warning: G-Rated. Kissing, brief mentions of drinking, brief mentions of homophobia. 

Word Count: 1191

a/n: Happy Pride all! This is for Writer Wednesday and Jey’s Pride Celebration 2K21 week 1. To any bisexuals who don’t feel welcome at Pride, we are part of this community and you don’t have to justify yourself or identity to anyone. You’re enough. 

MY MASTERLIST

Sam checked over his shoulder as he heard a squeal behind him, wondering if it was for him. It wasn't, it was just a girl who had run into her friends. He was Captain America, but he was here today as an out and proud bisexual man and he just wanted to feel part of the community and not have to be a symbol all the time. 

He didn’t come unprepared though. There had been reports of counter-protestors planning to disrupt today’s Pride Parade and he was not going to just slink away if that happened, he would stand strong against the bigots and protect his community. 

He was waving a flag and cheering for the non-corporate floats in support of local clubs and charities when he saw him. Bucky Barnes was stalking the parade, he’s eyes assessing the crowd across the street from where Sam stood under the baking sun. Even in this heat, Bucky was wearing a long sleeve shirt, trying also to blend in. 

Sam was curious about the state of Barnes and his presence here today, while the two were openly out with each other as their friendship had developed, neither had mentioned they would be at the parade today to each other. 

Sam didn’t want to make Bucky uncomfortable, but he also was too curious to help himself to find out why Bucky looked so serious. Sam saw a slim break in the parade and darted swiftly across the street to cut Bucky off in his prowl. 

Bucky was shocked to see Sam, but the cues to this were subtle and early in their friendship, Sam would have missed the slight widening of his eyes and the ever so slight stiffening of his shoulders. He recognized them now though, so it was clear to Sam that he surprised Bucky. 

“Weren’t expecting me?” Sam asked. 

“You didn’t mention you’d be here,” Bucky said with a shrug, avoiding eye contact. 

“Neither did you,” Sam said and Bucky tilted his head dismissively. 

“I’m not really sure I belong here,” Bucky admitted. 

“You’re bisexual, why wouldn’t you belong here?” Sam asked. 

“I’m too old, too out of touch,” Bucky explained, his eyes still scanning the crowd. 

Sam scoffed, “Oh come off it, the B in LGBT isn’t there for decoration. Frankly it’s the only credential you need.”

Bucky smiled, “I’m here in case those anti-protesters show up, I figure if I can help with that, I could stick around.”

Sam smiled sadly at Bucky, the only place Bucky fell into naturally was with Sam and his family. Everywhere else Bucky felt the need to earn love, attention and belonging and he either avoided trying all together, or tried so hard it broke Sam’s heart. 

“You could’ve asked me to come with you,” Sam offered. 

“You could’ve asked me,” Bucky replied. 

Sam nods his head, “Well, here we are anyway. Did you wanna patrol together?”

“You were just watching the parade,” Bucky said, holding back a smile.

“Do you want company or not, man?” Sam asked playfully, shoving Bucky’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, let’s walk,” Bucky said. 

The pair started walking, deliberately keeping their fingers from brushing against each other. Sam had done a lot of work trying to compartmentalize his feelings for Bucky. It was complicated enough being the Black Captain America, and it was complicated being bisexual and being Black, and being the Bi, Black Captain America crushing on a recently absolved war criminal would be just, a whole different level of complicated. Especially if Bucky didn’t feel the same. 

They were wandering along, keeping their eyes out for troublemaking bigots, but also people watching and smiling at the pure joy experienced by the community as they found strength and support in each other. Sam smiled when he saw a black teenage lesbian couple holding hands, and the sight of their strength gave him some strength of his own. 

“You happy you came?” Sam asked Bucky. 

Bucky smiled, “Yeah, I am. The company is better than I expected.”

Bucky looked at Sam as he said that and Sam’s heart fluttered in his chest. He broke eye contact quickly and looked around at the surrounding crowd. 

“Yeah, it’s great to feel part of something bigger than yourself, right?” Sam asked, deflecting, not allowing him to get his hopes up. 

“Right,” Bucky said with pursed lips. 

They continued to walk along, but Sam noticed the increased distance between their bodies, but tried not to think about it. 

Near the end of the block they left the parade route and ended up at the after party location where the music was already playing, but the crowd was still thin. 

They milled around, relieved they didn’t encounter any counter-protestors, but now a little unsure of what to do next. Before either of them could say anything though, they were interrupted by an eager 20-something with a camera and a badge dangling from his neck.

“Did you two want a couple portrait?” he asked them. 

Bucky froze as Sam chuckled, “We’re good, man, thank you though.”

“Come on, it’s free and you can download the photo when you get home, maybe print it, hang it up? You guys are so cute, you’d be perfect for a candid kiss photo!” the kid babbled enthusiastically. His energy was infectious and it had both Sam and Bucky relaxed and chuckling. 

“Oh all right,” Sam said, “If you want, that is.” He turned to Bucky who was wearing a smile.

“Pucker up, buttercup,” he teased. 

The photographer readied himself and Sam gave Bucky a quick peck on the lips. 

The photographer clicked away and looked at the image, “That was a quick one, I can do another?”

Bucky wrapped his arm around Sam’s waist and pulled him close. Sam looked up into his eyes and saw the longing there that he was sure was mirrored in his own. 

“Kiss me again, like you mean it,” Bucky said and it didn’t sound like a joke. 

It sounded sincere and desperate and Sam reached out to grip the base of Bucky’s neck and crash their mouths together. They were lost in each other, Sam felt that something clicked into place along with an overwhelming sense of belonging. This felt right and he was just so happy it seemed Bucky felt the same. 

When they pulled apart the photographer was smiling fondly at them. Then he handed them a ticket stub. 

“Here’s the details, you can get 1 free download, and if you want additional photos it’s by donation, plus you can leave a tip anytime” he explained, “Happy Pride!”

Bucky didn’t let Sam go as they watched the photographer find his next subjects. 

“We definitely need to tip that guy,” Bucky said.

“Google review too probably,” Sam answered. 

They laughed and pressed their bodies together. Bucky took Sam’s hand, and led him to the drink tent. 

“Let me buy you a drink,” Bucky said. 

“So this is a date then?” Sam asked. 

“I’d like it to be,” he replied. 

“Me too,” Sam said and followed Bucky to the drink tent, far more excited for the evening than he was just moments ago. 

TAGS: @autumnleaves1991-blog​

[365days365movies]

February 18, 2021: The Danish Girl (Review)

Before I go into ANYTHING else...let’s talk about the actual Danish Girl, Lili Elbe, or Lili Ilse Elvenes.

Oh, uh, full warning, this is gonna be LONG, so skip to the bottom if you’re just here for the Review! OK, history time!

Now, what the film The Danish Girl notes about the beginning of the transition is pretty spot-on, from what I can tell. After marrying portrait painter Gerda Gottlieb in 1904, the two lived in Italy and France before moving to Paris in 1912. Yeah, that’s over 14 years before they’re shown doing so in the movie. Inaccuracy #1. In 1908 (here comes number 2), Elbe (Einar at the time) painted this portrait of trees along a fjord in Denmark.

Yeah, NOT in 1926, as the film says. But, yeah, that’s a nitpick, I recognize that. Anyway, the revelation came when model Anna Larssen (not “Ulla”, which is Inaccuracy #3) was late, and Gerda asked Elbe to fill in. When Larssen eventually showed up, she suggested the name “Lili”. Basically, this scene from the movie was pretty goddamn accurate.

Except for the dates, anyway. Because while the movie mostly takes place around 1926 and afterwards, this probably happened closer to 1920, in Paris. So, yeah, Lili spent a LOT more time as Lili in real life. Additionally, Lili was pretty goddamn public about the whole thing, inviting guests and hosting parties as herself, rather than as Einar. At the same time, Gerda was getting pretty goddamn famous for her paintings of Lili, like this one.

Which, yeah, are really good! Also, they were considered lesbian erotica by many! YEAH! And here’s a fun fact: Gerda may not have been straight-up straight. Yeah, the film and the book (we’ll get there) kind of ignored the fact that their marriage was annulled by the Danish government, not by the two of them. Inaccuracy #4. Now, obviously, their relationship ended, and Lili ended up getting together with a man (we’ll get there, too), but there are a LOT of unanswered questions about Gerda’s sexuality, and views of sexuality (which is barely hinted at in the “male gaze” speech in the beginning).

After the annulment, the two just...drifted apart. Their relationship dissolved, and the details on that are fuzzy. By 1930, Lili was headed on a completely different path. She wasn’t a painter like Einar (and it turns out that she thought of them as two entirely separate people, like two souls living in the same body, which the movie got mostly right), and she was mostly unsatisfied with her career, life, and other things. And that is where Drs. Erwin Gohrbandt and Magnus Hirschfeld come in, NOT Kurt Warnerkros...yet. He’d come in for the other five (YES FIVE) surgeries, but wouldn’t be involved with the first. Inaccuracy #5, and also #6, while we’re at it! See, the film would make you think that Lili was the first complete gender reassignment surgery, but she was actually the second. The first would be Dora Richter, in a procedure that was performed by Dr. Hirschfeld from 1922 - 1931. YEAH. BIG-ASS INACCURACY THERE. Here’s Dora, by the way:

Anyway, Lili had her first procedure, to remove the testicles, performed in 1930. In the same year, the divorce between Lili and Gerda was finalized, and Lili legally changed her name. Two more procedures were performed, the first to implant an ovary, and the second to remove the penis and scrotum. Inaccuracy #7, by the way. And, hey, let’s go for number 8! Let’s talk about Henrik, a dude who didn’t exist. He and Hans were both very loosely based on an art dealer named Claude Lejeune.

Claude was an art dealer (there’s the Hans part), and was indeed in love with Lili. They got together around early 1931, and he’d actually been in love with her for a good, long time. He proposed to marry Lili, and she accepted, also hoping that the two would be able to have children together. But to do that, it was believed that Lili would need a uterus. And, obviously, having children would be MILES more complicated than that in basically EVERY way, but this was early in medical science’s understanding of some of that biology.

In any case, however, Lili would need both a uterus and a vagina to feel whole. And so, the fourth surgery was scheduled. And she had that surgery in 1931, a couple of weeks after Dora Richter successfully had the same surgery performed. But, sadly, Lili wouldn’t be so lucky.

Lili’s body rejected the uterus, and while transplant rejections of any kind wouldn’t necessarily be fatal now, they definitely were back then. They attempted to remove it, but that subsequent 5th surgery caused infection, which caused a fatal heart attack three months later. Lili Elbe died on September 13, 1931, at the age of FORTY-EIGHT. Yeah, Inaccuracy #9.

By the way, you may be wondering: what about Dora Richter, the first successful person to get these surgeries? Well, she disappeared...in Germany...as the Nazis were coming into power...yeah. Fuckin’ YIKES.

And so, that’s the true story of Lili Elbe. And there are far more differences than that, I’m sure, but those 9 inaccuracies aren’t insignificant, that’s for sure. Although, it probably doesn’t help that the movie was based on a fictionalized book.

Oh, uh...did I not mention that? Yeah, this movie is based on The Danish Girl, by David Ebershoff, which means that this film is essentially a cinematic game of telephone. Which, uh...not great. Granted, Ebershoof made some other...interesting changes, which the film didn’t inherit. In the book, for example, Gerda is named Greta, and is American? Um...why? I dunno, it’s kind of weird. Oh, and that’s not including one more issue with the movie. But, you’ve waited long enough, huh? Recap of the film is here and here if you wanna check that out! Let’s get to the Review already!

Review

Cast and Acting: 8/10

I am...conflicted. So let me start here by saying that the acting in the film in and of itself is fantastic, all-around. Not a weak actor in here, that’s for sure. Let’s start with the side-roles, for once. Ben Whishaw, Matthias Schoenaerts, and Amber Heard are all good. Heard’s accent is a little shaky, but they’re still all solid performances. OK, how about Alicia Vikander? She’s great! And she won the Oscar for...Best Supporting Actress. Um...wait...Supporting? But not Best Actress? Uh...OK. That’s a little weird, let’s be honest here. But, Alicia Vikander did deserve that win over...oooooooh, Rooney Mara in Carol? Maybe not...damn.

And OK...let’s get into the elephant in the room, huh?

Eddie Redmayne is fantastic as Einar Wegener/Lili Eber, and I genuinely think he had a great shot to win Best Actor...but, yeah, Leonardo DiCaprio definitely deserved it, I think that goes without saying. Hell, that year had a SOLID line-up for best actor. And Redmayne had even won it the year before for The THeory of Everything, another biography where he played Stephen Hawking. But ALL of that said...HNNNNNNNNNG, there should have been a transgender actor cast in this role, ideally. Now, I’m fully aware how difficult that would be, as Hollywood isn’t extraordinarily diverse in terms of including trans actors in massive mainstream projects. It’s better now, but it’s nowhere near ideal. But if anybody knows an actor who would’ve fit this role and performed it well, I’m DEFINITELY interested. So, despite that controversy, Redmayne was pretty goddamn great in this role. But, uh...that doesn’t mean everything is perfect...

Plot and Writing: 5/10

OK, that seems low, I know. But it’s pretty goddamn damning that this movie was based off of a heavily fictionalized book instead of the actual life story of Lili Eber and Gerda Gottlieb. And because of that, there are not only some missed opportunities, but some straight-up damning inaccuracies. That’s a set of pretty poor decisions, I tell you what. Not sure why Lucinda Coxon came to that decision when adapting this screenplay, but it wasn’t exactly nominated for Best Screenplay. And the writing certainly isn’t bad, but it is...overly saccharine sometimes, especially for a film based (loosely) on a true story. I dunno...just not the best set of choices here, sorry to say.

Directing and Cinematography: 8/10

Tom Hooper shouldn’t direct musicals. However, since this wasn’t a musical, directing and cinematography here is pretty damn good! Real talk, this is a gorgeous looking movie, and the way shots are framed are fantastic. Perfect? Weeeeeeeell...given the fact that painting is a main focus of the film, for both Gerda and Einar, there should’ve been more painter-quality shots in here, I think. And while the cinematography by Danny Cohen is pretty fantastic, I can’t say that it’s perfect. Still, in terms of lighting and general skill, it’s still quite a good looking movie.

Production and Art Design: 10/10

But the deficiencies in the direction are EASILY compensated for by the production design! Like, hot DAMN, this is a good looking movie, like I said! That goes from the construction of the sets, to the gorgeous outfits all over the place, especially Lili’s outfits. Some iconic pieces of wardrobe there, that’s for sure! But if I have ONE complaint...this movie never once felt like the 1920s. Yup, good old anachronistic complaints from me again! Yeah, I’ll change the record one of these days, I promise. But even with that, it’s hard to ignore just how good this movie looks, to be honest. It’s just...gorgeous.

Music and Editing: 8/10

As I type this, I’m listening to a track of the film on YouTube, and it is a beautifully delicate tune. I’m not sure that I’d be able to associate it with the film if presented to me on its own, but it’s definitely a nice track to listen to by itself. Playlist worthy? For somebody, almost certainly, but not for me. One of these days, a film like that’s gonna pop up, I swear. But for now, Alexandre Desplat and his score are gonna stay off my iPhone. This really is a nice score, though, I promise. Editing by Melanie Ann Oliver is pretty good as well, and I’ve no complaints about it, to be honest. Overall, this side of things was quite nice, if not the most notable thing I’ve ever seen or heard.

I might have been a little harsh, but it’s still got an 78%.

This is a good movie, but...I dunno, the inaccuracies do bug me. Hell, there are WAY more than what I’d mentioned, and I mentioned a lot. Not to mention the other glaring issue: no trans people at any stage of the production? Really? No script consultants, no writers, no NTOHING? That’s...egregiously bad. Like, holy shit, guys. And, yes, this includes Redmayne, because even though he performed admirably in the role...I dunno. I’m no expert on ANY of this, as a cissexual dude with cissexual experience, but it feels a little...reductive, is all. Like I said, if any other actors have been suggested for this role, I’d love to know. The whole thing feels...I don’t know, just not great. 

And by the way, that’s without even TOUCHING the question as to whether or not this film is authentic to the trans experience. Again, I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA, but I’ve also heard that this film isn’t universally acclaimed in the trans community, so to speak. And I’m definitely interested in the reasons for that. All I know is this: from the perspective of a complete outsider, I was intrigued by this films view of the transgender experience, specifically as seen in the earliest days of those realizations happening and being publicly known and reported on. And that’s all I can really comment on, in truth.

WHOOF. That was a goddamn topic, huh? And now, I’m going to continue on the the month of romance with...wait, the 19th is my 5-year anniversary with my GF, pictured here:

Ravishing. Anyway, I think I’ll let her pick from my choices for this next one. Hold on a sec...OK, then. Sing it with me now! AND DO I DREEEEEAM AGAAAAIN, FOR NOW I FIIIIIIIIIIIIIND...

February 19, 2021: The Phantom of the Opera (2004)

[justgottafinishthischapter]

Writing Romance: Opposites Attract

One of the most widespread among romantic tropes is opposites attract, and with good reason. When a couple are opposites, they’re meant to be one of a few things to each other: 1. An inverse reflection of each other. 2. Compliment each other 3. Cover each other’s shortcomings

In a sense, a good Opposites Attract serves to turn two incomplete people into one solid force. If they’re a battle couple, they’ll tend to fight very well together, often balancing force and finesse, melee and ranged, or physical and magical abilities. If the show or book has a lot of time dedicated to foils and character moments, they are more likely to be the ones that each other lean on, since their opposing characters makes them interesting to react off one another. Their roles, story arcs, and backstories tend to run opposite or parallel to one another depending on the series. If one character’s arc is to mature and become more responsible, likely their partner’s arc might be to learn to loosen up and have fun, learn to trust people, or to face a trauma in their past that made them so mature at a young age.

In terms of design, opposites attract partners tend to be inverse in color schemes. Light and dark hair or eyes, warm and cool color schemes, clashing or complimentary fashion styles, etc. The degree in opposition also varies. Some opposites attract look very similar with only a slight difference, indicating that something small is what set them on different paths in life but are otherwise very similar, almost as two sides of the same coin. Other couples are stark contrasts with virtually nothing in common to really emphasize their differences so that they can better make each other whole, as shown very literally through the character of Garnet in Steven Universe. 

Femme and Butch

While typically, you’re mostly going to see this in femmeslash/yuri pairings, this dynamic is actually fairly universal. This divide focuses on a pairing where each couple reflects the values of masculinity and femininity. Although mostly used as lesbian terms, a femme and butch pairing can also be gay or heterosexual. A fashion-loving twink who cries during romantic movies dating a jock who likes sports and drinks beer is still an example of Femme and Butch. Heterosexual is rather obvious, but can also be inversed, with a tough, assertive woman partnered with a sweet, sensitive man, such as Calhoun and Felix in Wreck-It Ralph. A Femme and Butch pairing doesn’t need to check off every box on this list of traits, but these traits tend to be common in these types of relationships.

Brains and Brawn

Also known as Jock and Nerd, this romantic dynamic prioritizes the usefulness of both intelligence and brute strength. Another variation is Book Smarts vs Street Smarts. The Brains will be good at doing research, organizing, and will tend to fight more strategically while the Brawn is primarily going to be good at fighting and likely protecting the Brains from serious harm. Princess and Bodyguard is another possible example of this dynamic, albeit a little less directly.

Hot and Cold

Hot or Warm characters tend to be friendly, outgoing, upbeat, loudmouthed, temperamental, boisterous, and battle-ready. Cold or Cool personalities tend to be shy, calm, quiet, logical, reserved, serious, and emotionally withdrawn. However, while these extreme opposites of hot-head and cold-shoulder balance each other out, it’s worth discussing same heat relationships. Kiribaku is an example of a Hot/Warm relationship, as Bakugou Katsuki is an angry little spitfire with an aggressive streak, while Kirishima Eijirou is a happy-go-lucky sweetheart with a good attitude. This is sort of the same concept, just that both boys are on the warm side of the spectrum, with Kirishima being the cooler counter to Bakugou’s temperamental hot-head. This also works inversely, as the ship Tododeku is a Cold/Cool relationship. Midoriya is a shy, but upbeat young man who tends not to draw too much attention to himself, while Todoroki is stoic, logical, and a bit dense socially. In this case, Midoriya is Cool while Todoriki is Cold, with Midoriya serving as the “Hot” aspect of their relationship as the more friendly and outgoing of the two.  

Light and Shadow

This archetype is often used as a “opposite sides of the same coin” format, where the characters serve as foils to one another. In Teen Titans, Raven’s powers are dark and demonic, while Starfire’s are bright and extraterrestrial. Both girls get their powers from their emotions, but where Starfire revels in her emotions to make her powerful, Raven must suppress her emotions to retain control of her powers. As the only two girls, they stick out as the obvious foils of the group. Many times, when this trope appears, it’s in the form of Classic Paragon Hero vs Cynical Anti-Hero. Superman and Batman are a great example. Superman is a boyscout token good guy, while Batman is a brooding loner. One is the hope for justice and goodness to always triumph while the other acknowledges that people are flawed, and maybe not everyone deserves to be saved. Naruto is interesting because he has two dark reflections. The first is Sasuke. While Naruto is the golden-haired idealist who befriends villains almost as often as Steven Universe, Sasuke is a dark counter consumed by a thirst for vengeance and the power to exact it. Naruto’s other dark counter however is Gaara. Both are Jinchuriki, but whereas Naruto eventually found friends and love in his fellow genin, Gaara was very much still alone when he met Naruto, reflecting what Naruto could have become without that love and support in this life.

Protagonist and Rival

Another case of “two sides of the same coin”, most anime protagonists and their rival tend to either have very similar backstories, very similar motivations, or very similar personalities, if not some combination of the three. Both Naruto and Sasuke were abandoned in the world at a young age with the Hokage looking out for them from afar. Naruto started off having nobody, and was always reaching out hoping to connect with anyone. Meanwhile, Sasuke started with a family and lost it, and decided to keep everyone at arm’s length and isolate himself further. Rin Okumura and Ryuji Suguro are practically the same person. Both lost their families and homes due to Satan, both are strong-willed loudmouthed tough guys with a knack for leadership, and both share the goal of killing Satan. Natsu Dragneel is immature and battle-ready, but while Grey Fullbuster at least pretends to be above it, he’ll jump into a fight with Natsu practically unprompted. The main appeal of the anime protagonist and his rival is that they push each other to succeed, often coming from very similar roots, but where they end up is entirely up to the effort they put in and the path they choose to take. They both refuse to lose to each other, and that propells them to constantly want to out-do each other.

Sweet and Sour

My best friend and I are polar opposites in this sense. When we met, she was far too trusting, submissive, and far too forgiving. Meanwhile, I was a lot more cynical, mean-spirited, and unfortunately, a little more closed-minded than I’d like to admit. After five years of friendship, my friend is far more assertive, has a lot more confidence in herself, is a lot better at handling criticism, and rather than just submitting in an argument, she now has the nerve to get in someone’s face and make her point heard. Because of her, I’ve become less stand-offish, more patient and polite, less of a control freak, more aware of valuing other people’s emotions, and more tolerant of a group I hadn’t realized I’d been intolerant toward. We saw the world in such distinctly different ways that we have managed to rub off on each other, and now we’re both such stronger and more complete people for having known each other.

Serious and Goofball

A classic comedy duo, the comedian and the straight man. The Goofball character tends to be immature, a knucklehead, a jokester, and comes off as a bit inexperienced. Meanwhile, the Serious character tends to be mature, responsible, disciplined, but comes off as a bit aloof. The Goofball reminds the Serious character to have a little fun every once in a while, while the Serious character reins in the Goofball before they hurt themselves or somebody else.

Hero and Sidekick

The hero has their act together and the sidekick is just doing their best. This happens a lot in Action movies where the handsome tough guy and the hapless damsel (who he kidnaps a little too often for my liking) is just kind of along for the ride. The two live in entirely different worlds. Sometimes this comes in the variant of Starlet and Manager where one in the relationship takes center stage while the other is content to help them run their life, promote their career, and help them. Another variation is Superstar and Random Extra, wherein one person leads a very visible life in the public eye being adored by millions of fans while their partner works 9-5 in an office dealing with insurance claims. Although they coe from very different worlds and lead very different lives, that doesn’t mean they still haven’t found love in an unlikely place. Often, the reason the hero or big shot loves this random nobody is because they fell in love with them before they ever became famous, or they didn’t know/care who the celebrity was and just liked them as a person without interest in using their celebrity to climb the social ladder.

Loud and Quiet

She’s quirky, outgoing, bubbly, energetic, and talkative. Too talkative. She never shuts up. He’s quiet, simple, down-to-earth, and calm. Too Calm. He never gets excited. This pairing works to push and pull each other until they’ve harmonized. The Quiet one will be pulled out of their shell and learn to be more open and talkative, while the Loud one will learn to think before they act. This couple is divided along lines of Introversion and Extroversion, and together can navigate the anxiety-triggering unease of a social gathering, and finding joy and pleasure in just enjoying each other’s company without needing to fill the silence with pointless chatter.

To be fair, many Opposites Attract couples will fit into more than one of these archetypes, and there’s probably more I didn’t list. But if you’re wanting to create a couple that balances each other out, I hope you find this helpful to you in your writing.

[rhysismydaddy]

Naughty Neighbors pt. 3 (Elriel)

I think I might’ve actually died writing the first part of this not going to lie. Also don’t come for me changing the verb tense I’m well aware lol 

Coming next week...

“I’m not taking you to bed while you belong to another man, Elain.”

“I don’t belong to anyone.”

“Maybe not your body,” he agrees, placing a wide hand on her chest, right above her heart. “But I want this to be mine. And you’re going to give it to me.”

______________________________________________________________

~Elain~

It’s Saturday night, the first day of what’s shaping up to be a truly unremarkable weekend for Elain. Feyre’s art show’s tomorrow, but that’s the most exciting thing she has planned. 

She can’t remember the last time she’d been excited about something even was, actually. 

Pushing that uncomfortable thought away, she settles further in the bath and sighs. Desperate for entertainment, she tries to focus on the pages of the book in front of her, but her brain won’t cooperate. 

After another ten minutes, she resigns herself to an early night and gets out of the tub, slipping into one of her robes. 

It’s only eleven, but she gets in bed, forgotten book on her night table. Closing her eyes proves she is actually a little tired, because she starts to relax and drift off to sleep. 

But then she hears it.

A low groan sounds through the wall between her apartment and her neighbor’s, and her eyes go wide. She hears two people talk, then a feminine laugh. Which turns into a loud moan a second later.

Oh. My. Gods.

There’s a thud, then sexy, masculine laughter meets her ears.

Some shuffling sounds make Elain bury her head under her pillow,, the blush on her cheeks hot enough to melt the sheets away. This is so horrible.

But no amount of pillows could stop her from hearing what happens next.

The feminine moaning gets louder, then is joined by a loud banging directly on her wall. Was that his... headboard?

Good heavens above, he’s really going for it over there. 

There’s a pause, then the banging gets even more intense. The woman’s moaning is closer now, and she realizes with a start what’s happening. They’d moved against the wall. Her wall.

Oh, he's dead.

She’ll kill him herself if she had to for subjecting her to this. 

Except that’s not exactly what she feels like doing as she hears the asshole practically growl, “Fuck, baby.”

~Azriel~

Mor slaps my chest, giving me a strange look. “Fuck, baby?” she whispers incredulously. “That’s what you say when you get laid?.”

I just roll my eyes and mutter, “Shut up.”

“That’s the most embarrassing, male thing you could ever say. But keep going. The point is to prove you have better stamina, and we’ve only been at this for ten minutes.”

Barely repressing laughter, I wrap her jean-clad legs tighter around my waist and keep moving against her.

When she lets out another ridiculously loud moan, I say quietly, “This is so fucking stupid.”

“I agree, but I’m not the one whose whipped.”

In case it isn’t obvious, I really, really regret telling her about Elain.

As soon as she’d heard about Lucien “Shit in the Sack” Vanserra, Mor had been determined to help.

She’s my absolute best friend, the one who knows every sordid detail about my life, and tonight she’s made it her mission in life to help make Elain jealous.

She’s also a lesbian.

“So this is doing nothing for you?” I ask with a frown. I mean, if we were naked, this would be some of my best work.

She gives me a flat look, even as I continue fake-fucking her against the wall. “Not unless you change your name to Azriella and grow a huge pair of-”

“Okay, I get it. Laugh like I said something funny.”

Rolling her eyes, she does, and I force myself to huff a chuckle, too.

Gods, she’s right. I’m whipped. And definitely deranged. For a chick who isn’t even sleeping with me.

If my friends knew, they’d never shut up about it. Mor was the only one I’d told, and that was because she knows how it feels to have feelings for someone and not be able to do anything about it.

Plus, I’d been her fake boyfriend for years in high school before she came out to her parents, so she owes me.

Mor checks her watch and raises her eyebrows. “It’s been fifteen minutes. How long do you usually last?”

It’s my turn to glare. “Did you seriously just ask me that?”

“I’m just saying, I have a date in an hour.” 

She groans, so I wait until that stops and ask, “With who?”

“That really pretty barista I told you about, so I don’t want to be late. Five more minutes seems good.” I nod, because it’s nice she’s doing this in the first place. “Make em count, champ.”

I think I’m going to kill her one day. 

But I do. 

And by the end, we’re both breathing hard and have made enough noise to wake the whole building. After a very obnoxious climax, I let Mor down. “You realize if she does ever have sex with you you’re going to have to-”

“It won’t be a problem,” I assure her, one-hundred percent confident in that fact. 

She gives me a disbelieving look but just shakes her head and ruffles her hair. Once at the door, she turns and whispers, “She’s going to look out the peep hole, so I’m going to kiss the shit out of you.”

With that, my best friend swings the door open, turns around, and puts on an expression I’ve never seen before. It’s desire and satisfaction and something else entirely I don’t want to read in to. It’s disgusting. 

But I act like the “champ” I am and don’t react, even as she pulls my face down to hers and kisses me. 

Her nails rake down my bare back, and even though this does absolutely nothing for me, I wrap my arms around her and lift her clear off her feet to bring her closer.

Don’t get me wrong, Mor’s beautiful and all, but she’s my best friend, and this is giving me flashbacks to homecoming and prom and every other time we had to put on an act.  

How long till this is over, exactly?

~Elain~

Watching him kiss that woman... Elain can admit it does strange things to her. Like makes her want to storm out and yank them apart, then scream. 

She somehow refraines. 

He finally lets her down, and the rage and frustration builds to an insurmountable level because she’s freaking gorgeous. The kind of gorgeous where Elain was tempted to go kiss her herself. 

How annoying. 

Turning on her heel, she stomps back over to her bed and flops down. 

She’s hot and cold and her core is so tight it's almost painful. 

Never, not once in her entire life, had she thought she’d be turned on hearing something like that. 

But picturing him... doing that, and so close to her own bed... yeah. She’d almost come herself, and she was in a completely different room. 

Gods, she’s pathetic. 

And she can absolutely never see him again. 

That’s beyond obvious.

Terrible liar she is, she knows it would be all over her face. What would she even say? Oh, hey neighbor. Heard you really give that woman a good time last night. So good, in fact, you almost got both of us off. High-five!

Nope. She’d rather move across town before running in to him again. 

Even though the thought makes her strangely sad. 

She falls asleep soon after, mind going back over every tiny detail she’d heard tonight until she’s surprised she can sleep at all. 

~Azriel~

It’s Sunday morning, meaning I don’t have to work. Meaning I don’t have an excuse to see Elain. 

But fuck do I want to. 

I can’t hardly wait for the blush I know will pop up on her cheeks. I probably won’t have to even speak for it to happen. There’s no way she didn’t hear the amazing fake sex I had last night. She probably won’t even be able to look me in the eyes. 

So I wait until I hear her get up and start shuffling around in her apartment. 

Then, like the creep I am, I sit on the couch and wait for her door to open so I can go out and tease her until she slaps me or something. 

But it doesn’t. I sit there until it’s four in the afternoon, and that’s when it dawns. 

She told me herself she checks her garden on Sundays--a fact she knows I know--so the only reason she wouldn’t go... 

She’s trying to avoid me.

A laugh bursts out of me. 

Oh, Elain. Baby girl, that just won’t do. 

I grab my laptop and look up the MOMA exhibits for this weekend, a probably-evil smile already blooming on my face. 

~Elain~

Should I go out the window? 

No, I live on the third floor. 

But... 

After looking at the drop down, she decides that’s definitely not happening. She’ll have to go the normal way. Which means she’ll have to walk by the door next to hers. Which belongs to him. 

Gods, she was sweating already. 

Which isn’t good, since the silk of her dress will definitely show it. Forcing herself to calm down, she grabs her clutch and slowly, quietly, opens the door. 

Empty. 

Before that can change, she hurtles down the hallway and stairs, breathing a sigh of relief when she steps outside. 

It turns into a strangled gasp as she looks up from the cement. 

Her neighbor’s standing in front of her, looking dark and alluring and inexplicably handsome in the twilight sky. 

But that’s not why her breath goes a little shallow. 

The dark jeans, boots, and t-shirts he’s worn every time she’s seen him have now been replaced with a black suit, crisply cut to his tall frame. 

He looks so handsome she can hardly remember she’s supposed to be avoiding him. 

But then the why of that statement comes rushing back, and her cheeks go pink. He looks pleased at that, even as his darkening eyes roam over her frame. 

Her dress is floor-length, but the spaghetti straps and low back make it revealing. That, and the fact that the silk fabric clings to every dip and curve of her figure. 

His eyes notice it all, all the way down to her heel-clad feet and back up to her softly curled hair. 

“Elain.”

It’s just one word, and it’s one she knows well, but it’s somehow everything. 

Now more than ever, she wished she knew his name. It usually seems like a little game, but now it feels like a whole in her chest. She wants to know him. 

Wants to know how to say his name in a way that makes him feel like she feels right now. 

“You look beautiful,” he comments, sliding his hands in the pockets of that damn suit. 

“Thank you. You look nice, too.” Nice? More like devastating. He just shrugs. “Hot date?”

A small smile graces his full lips. “No, that was last night.”

“I’m aware,” she bites out, face starting to heat. Her body’s reliving last night, and she has to force herself not to press her legs together. 

“Just wanted you to know how it’s supposed to be done.”

“How considerate.” 

He steps close, so close they’re sharing air. “Did it bother you, listening to me with another woman?”

She sure as hell can’t tell him the truth, so she says breathlessly, “Not unless you count the nausea.” 

Damn him for turning her into a liar. And damn him for smelling so good.

There’s an arm around her waist, a hand on her hip. He’s so close now that his lips brush her ear as he whispers, “Did it turn you on?”

A whimper escapes her lips, so she bites one to keep herself quiet as she shakes her head no. 

“Elain, you are such a little liar,” he scolds, pulling away to smirk at her. “You’re blushing.” A finger runs down her cheek. She bats it away. 

“We should get going,” he observes, checking his watch. 

That gets her attention. “What?”

His lips twitch as he says, “The MOMA exhibit is tonight, right?”

“Yes, but-”

“Well, we should go then.”

Oh, gods above. He’s planning on attending? With her? 

This is a terrible idea. But one look at his devilish smile tells her there’s no changing his mind. So she sighs and says, “We’ll have to get a cab. It’s across the city.”

“I’ll just drive, then,” he says, throwing her completely off guard once again. 

“Wait a second. You have a car?”

He looks amused as he takes her hand and pulls her down the street to where a dark, expensive looking SUV is parked. “I do.”

“Then why do you walk to work?”

Opening the passenger door, he turns to look her in the eyes again. “Well, you know what they say. Best way to start the day...” is a quick lay, she finishes in her mind, cheeks going pink. “-is to see a friend.”

Oh, he’s such an unbearable asshole. 

She ignores the little smile he gives her and climbs in the car, and soon they’re off. For a minute it’s silent, but then she asks quietly, “Why are you coming tonight?”

“I wanted to see you. And I’ve never been to a museum. Figured I’d have the best guide this way.” 

Reasonable enough, she supposes. Even if the way he looked at her earlier told her seeing a museum had nothing to do with art. 

She doesn’t have enough time to contemplate it, though, because he pulls up in front of the MOMA and parks, then they’re heading inside. She’s happy to see there’s quite a few people here, something she knows her sister will appreciate, too. 

Said sister rushes over immediately and smiles. “You made it!”

“Of course I did.” When she eyes the man next to her, she says awkwardly, “Um, Feyre, this is... my neighbor.”

She really has to find out his name. 

“Nice to meet you,” he says, extending a hand. “It looks like a good turnout.”

It was the right thing to say apparently, because Feyre beams. “I know! Hopefully they’ll all sell. There’s a surprise in there for you, Elain.”

Oh, gods. That usually meant something bad. Like being the subject to her sister’s very comprehensive photography exhibit three years ago.

“Anyway, you guys look around and have fun. There’s champagne in the back. Thanks for coming!” 

Elain hugs her sister tightly before she can disappear. “I’m proud of you. This is great.”

Feyre rolls her eyes as she pulls back, but they’re a little misty. “Oh, shut up or you’ll make me cry.”

Then she kisses Elain’s cheek and turns to talk to more people coming in. 

“Champagne?”

Turning to the man next to her, she smiles and nods. That sounds like an excellent idea right about now. He disappears, so she ventures to the first room. 

It’s all landscapes, beautiful paintings of mountains and the night sky and beautiful pictures of nature. She’s standing in front of one, smiling, when he comes back. “That’s your garden, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” she says softly, staring at the piece in front of her with new eyes. The night they’d first met creeps into her mind, and she sees him in the painting, lounging on that cute little bench, cigarette dangling seductively from his lips. 

“You look sad.” His voice is quiet and soft, and she turns to meet his gaze. 

She has to look away, though, because he’s right. She is sad. 

Thinking about that night makes her think about what could’ve happened. How different this last week could’ve been. 

But she can’t tell him any of that, so she just turns to walk to the next room. The man next to her pauses, and she sees why as soon as her gaze goes to the wall. 

Roses, carnations, lilies. 

Tulips, orchids, peonies. 

All her favorite flowers are on the wall, the paint blending together and creating the most beautiful collage she’s ever seen. They’re all over the wall--there has to be at least fifty paintings in here. 

And in the middle of them all is the front of her shop. 

It’s an almost perfect rendition to the door of The Archeron, with the glass walls and flowers almost bursting out. 

The whole room’s been designed to look like the inside of her shop. 

A tear escapes down her cheek as she looks at the art around her. Gratitude, love, and happiness almost erupt from her, and she notices something. 

The man next to her notices it at the same time. “You feel something.”

“Yeah,” she replies happily. “I do.”

He smiles, and it’s not one of his usual little grins or smirks. It’s a full smile, showcasing all his perfect teeth. “So do I.”

The voice inside her head tells her he isn’t talking about the paintings. 

And for a minute, Elain just stands there, flowers blurring in her peripheral as she stares at him. 

“Please tell me your name,” she whispers. 

He smiles again, taking a step towards her. And it’s just as he’s leaning down that he opens his mouth and-

“Elain!” Feyre bursts into the room with a wide grin. “What do you think?”

She practically jumps a mile in the air, but she recovers quickly and says honestly, “I love it. Thank you so much. It’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Excuse me,” her neighbor says in a low voice, eyes on something in the distance as he heads to the front of the store. 

Feyre watches him go, and as soon as he’s out of earshot says, “Okay, now that he’s gone, can you tell me what’s going on? Did you and Lucien break up?”

Elain notices her sister doesn’t exactly sound sad at that prospect. “No, why would you think that?”

“Because you came here with him, and he looks like a villanous-”

“Prince Charming? That’s what I said!”

They laugh, but then Feyre smiles knowingly and asks, “You know he’s in love with you, right?”

The words clear a path through her chest, even as the heart inside swells. She suddenly can’t breathe, can’t form a normal thought. That’s... impossible. 

“What? How do you know?”

“Because he just went to buy that painting,” she says softly, motioning to The Archeron’s door. 

She shakes her head. “No, he didn’t.”

Feyre smiles, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Yes, he did.”

“Oh, gods,” Elain whispers, pulse starting to race. 

“You like him, too. It’s obvious to anyone who isn’t you.” Feyre flicks her nose playfully. “So stop thinking so hard. Just do what makes you happy.”

They say goodbye, and Elain turns to leave, finding him by the entrance. They walk outside in silence, then ride home in silence. 

Something’s different between them, and it’s created a tangible tension in the air that makes it hard for her to breathe. 

It’s only when they’re in the hallway outside their doors that she quietly asks, “Did you buy that painting?”

His body goes a bit tense, but he looks at her and answers, “Yes.”

“Why?”

“I told you.” His eyes are warm, like chocolate and caramel and smoke. And they’re looking at her like she’s everything to him as he says, “I felt something.”

“Liar,” she accuses, stealing his line.

His lips twitch, but he doesn’t say anything, so they continue to stare at each other. She knows him so well already, but there’s one thing she’s still dying to figure out.

Just as she’s about to ask, he murmurs, “My name’s Azriel.”

She tells herself it’s the deal, the arrangement. She tells herself it doesn’t matter. She tells herself she’s just paying the price. 

Elain tells herself all sorts of little lies as she steps forward, takes his face in her hands, and presses her lips to his. 

______________________________________________________________

Wrote this in one setting sorry if it’s shit. Part 4

@wineywitch202 @astreia-oniria @keshavomit @zukos-simp @whimsyrhys @lameomclameo @thedarkdemigod @captainthefangirlofhp @elriel4life @queen-of-glass @courtofjurdan @nessiantho @texas-shaped-waffle-maker @stardelia @myshadowsingeraz @tswaney17 @illyriangarbage @nicerhero @fancycrowncat @sjmships @perseusannabeth @cursebreaker29 @girl-who-reads-the-books @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @superspiritfestival @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @maastrash @a-bit-of-a-cactus @aesthetics-11 @bamchickawowow @b00kworm @poisonous00 @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @afifthofvodka @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace

[artificialqueens]

On The Ground (Rosénali) - Moonshot

A/N: So… Guess who is back after a year of not writing fics? Yours truly! What can I say? Rosénali is that powerful of a ship. As always, I hope eveyone enjoys this fic. Feel free to let me know what you think… Who knows, there might be a follow up to this little fluff in the future! Little side note: this is a lesbian au where most of the s13/s12 girls appearing are cis-female, however Mik is still a trans man in the fic.

Summary: The diner girl!Denali x street singer!Rosé AU based on Blackpink’s Rosé’s solo music that nobody asked for!

ao3 link https://archiveofourown.org/works/30267687

Denali stared at the round clock above the entrance of the diner.

4:57 PM. 

Three more minutes until her shift was over.

Three more minutes until the girl who had been a fixed character in her dreams would come from around the corner, set up her guitar, greet the passersby before starting her set for the evening like she did every Wednesday.

“So, gorge, are you going to ask the champagne girl out today, or are you just going to keep on creepily staring at her from afar?”, her coworker, Kade - or as everyone called him, Mik - appeared next to her with an empty tray.

“Her name is Rosé, not champagne girl!”, Denali rebutted, “and also, for the record, I don’t just… stare. I just happen to like appreciating her set without bothering her! It’s not like she was flirting with me that one time”.

“Did I just hear our Nali denying her crush on that pink-haired singer, again?”, Olivia, who was busy running the cash register, chimed in.

“Girl, I think we should start betting against her and maybe we’ll make more money than what they can pay us here!”, Mik joked as he washed some of the dishes in the sink.

The black-haired girl rolled her eyes, ignoring her two best friends and focusing on the performer’s much-anticipated arrival.

Denali didn’t believe in love at first sight but after the first time Rosé and her guitar had shown up on the other side of the road from Tamisha’s Diner, she couldn’t think about anything else. 

There was just something about the other girl that had the Alaskan girl enamored.

The first - and so far only - time she had talked to Rosé was out of necessity as the other girl and who she assumed were her two best friends - the diner girls had dubbed them ‘Pastel Powerpuff girls’ - had decided to dine in just as Denali’s shift at the register had started.

“Hi! Did you enjoy our diner?”, the skater had put on her best smile, not quite able to meet the gaze of the taller girl as she typed out the receipt.

“Oh, sure, the skating gig is cute, the food’s great, and the service… isn’t too bad either,” Denali could see from the corner of her eye the smirk on the pink-haired girl.

“Rosie! Quit flirting with every cute girl that breathes and hurry up or Jan and I are leaving you here, the Uber is going to be here in 2 minutes!”, the blue-haired girl went on with the other girl in the friend group while ‘Rosie’ rolled her eyes at them.

“Sorry about Lagoona, she has the tact of an elephant on rollerskates,” the taller girl joked.

“O-Oh, no problem. So, your total is 20,04$, will you be paying in cash or card? Also, are you splitting the bill?”

“Since dumb and dumber over there already left, I’ll just pay everything with my card,” she replied taking out her purse and taking out her credit card, “here you go, angel”.

Denali tried her best not to blush at the sudden pet name, maintaining her on-the-clock persona as she brought out the card reader. She quickly finished up the operation and handed the pink-haired girl her card back with the receipt, “I just need a quick signature here and you’re free to go to your friends”.

‘Rosie’ scribbled down her signature - she learned her actual name was Rosé, classy yet slightly worrying - and left a tip for her. 

A 10$ tip for her.

“Gorge, she left you a 10$ tip, she was basically asking for your hand in marriage”, Mik reminded her, his eyes darting around the half-empty diner. 

He nodded his head to his left where Denali saw another one of her co-workers sharing a milkshake with her girlfriend, giggling like teenagers, “I’m just saying. If Utica managed to end up dating that self-proclaimed ebony enchantress over there, you got a chance with wine girl”, he ended with his trademark L.A vocal fry.

Denali knew Mik had a point, but as she was about to reply, she heard the familiar sound of a guitar starting a new song. Her eyes glanced back at the clock.

5:14 PM

Damn, she had missed the beginning of the set.

The Alaskan girl didn’t lose any more time as she clocked out, skates still on her feet as she zoomed out of the diner.

“Aaaaand she’s gone!”, Olivia commented, turning her head to Mik, “Do you think this time is the good one?”

“Well, if she doesn’t finally go after her, I might as well go after her myself!”

Denali reached the usual crowd that had already formed around Rosé, trying her best to blend in and not be seen by the singer while still getting a good view of the set.

“Well, aren’t you guys a lovely crowd!”, the pink-haired singer smiled as she got ready for the next song, “I’ve got one last song for today and this is going to be the first time I’ll be performing it, so, don’t hate it too much!”, she chuckled as she checked her guitar before turning her head back to the mic stand, “This is On The Ground, I’m Rosé and I hope you’ve enjoyed the set! Feel free to drop your tips in the guitar case!”

Denali couldn’t take her eyes off Rosé when she heard the guitar’s first chord paired with the honey-like vocals.

My life’s been magic seems fantastic

I used to have a hole

in the wall with a mattress

It’s funny when you want it

Suddenly you have it

You find out that your gold’s just plastic

The black-haired girl quickly pulled out her phone, opened her voice memo app, and hit record. She wanted to treasure the magic Rosé’s voice brought. 

What she failed to notice while she was so into the song was a pair of hazel eyes settling on her as the song reached its climax.

A couple of days later, Denali had just finished with her teaching job at the local ice rink when she spotted Olivia on the railings. 

“The suspicious lack of a certain pink-haired girl makes me think that you still haven’t asked her out” she heard the younger girl say as she skated her way to her.

“You’ll never let it go, won’t you, Liv?”

“Not when I see that you like her and, from what I’ve seen, she is at least interested in you. Mik tried to ask her out yesterday after your shift was over,” the other girl replied.

Denali furrowed her brows, “Wait, he was serious about asking her out? I thought he was just joking!”

“If you don’t act on your cute pink crush, you can’t expect everyone else to stop for you,” Olivia reasoned, “if it’s of any help, Mik did say that, and I quote ‘she didn’t want a piece of this fine ass’”, she finished, air quoting their co-worker.

“To be honest, the dude’s barely got an ass compared to me,” Denali muttered, but her best friend managed to catch it.

“Well, as Symone said, you do have a fat ass,” Olivia commented, causing both of them to laugh out loud.

She continued, “Point still stands though, you gotta do something or you might just end up regretting not doing anything about it”.

The dark-haired girl sighed, “I know, I’m just… scared to get hurt because she seems so cool and unreachable, and I’m just so… me?”, she confessed, resting her arms on the rails.

“Give it a chance, Nali,” Olivia replied, laying her hand on the skater’s arm and giving it a gentle squeeze, “And just in case, if she fucks you over, we’ll just unleash Kandy on her!”, she added, making Denali chuckle.

“Girl, if she knew you said that…”

“She would do absolutely nothing because she’s too busy chasing after that Joey guy”, she didn’t miss a beat with her reply, giving her a knowing look, “Almost forgot to ask, are you coming later to the club with the others?”

Denali shook her head, “No, sorry. I don’t feel like clubbing today, I’ll just skate a bit more and then go home to watch some Netflix”.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders, “You do you, girl. But think about what I said, okay?”

She gave her best friend a small smile, “Thanks, Liv. See you at work?”

The younger girl nodded and left Denali to her thought as she exited the room. The black-haired skater turned her head back to the rink, noticing that only a few people were left on the ice. 

She took a deep breath, putting her earbuds back in and looking through her phone to decide on what song to use for her last routine of the day. Her eyes fell on the voice memo app, immediately reminding herself of the recording she had taken just a few days prior. She hadn’t even listened to it since she had recorded it.

It wasn’t a clean recording, she could hear the sounds of the city and the people around her, but she closed her eyes and focused on Rosé’s voice, letting it guide her. 

The music fully took her over as she performed her usual stunts.

I’m way up in the clouds

And they say I’ve made it now

But I figured it out

Everything I need is on the ground

She found herself in the center of the rink, the bridge of the song was blasting in her ears. She smiled to herself as she started to spin, gradually picking up speed while Rosé’s high notes were all she could focus on.

Just drove by your house

So far from you now

But I figured it out

Everything I need is on the

Everything I need is on the ground

The recording stopped abruptly, she remembered how she had to bolt away, almost missing her bus home. 

Denali could hear her heavy breathing, suddenly aware again that she wasn’t alone. But she had made up her mind.

She was going to talk to Rosé the following Wednesday. 

That Wednesday the diner was busier than usual, giving Denali barely a moment to think, let alone realize she was missing Rosé’s set outside.

She glanced at the clock.

5:26 PM

Shit.

She turned her head and looked outside the diner’s big windows and saw that the pink-haired girl was starting to gather her things.

“Miss Iman just left, go to her! We’ll cover for you and we are not letting you get back in unless you got a date!”, Olivia said quietly enough for just her to hear.

Denali couldn’t help the grin spreading across her face. She grabbed some of the tips that she had made before she bolted outside, faintly hearing the cheering of her friends.

As she reached Rosé on the other side of the road, the singer’s back was facing her, she didn’t seem to have noticed Denali yet.

The black-haired girl took a deep breath, just like she had done on the ice rink, and let the tips fall into the still open guitar case.

The noise of falling change was what made Rosé turn around, a surprised look on her face as she registered Denali’s face.

“Denali?”

Gosh, she could hear the other girl say her name all day.

Wait.

“How do you know my name?”, Denali asked slightly confused.

Rosé didn’t reply but simply pointed at the waitress’s chest.

Oh, right. The nameplate on her uniform.

“That and also I tend to remember a pretty face when I see one,” she added, now her attention fully on the shorter girl.

“Oh, yeah, right”, she fidgeted awkwardly, not knowing where to look, “Uhm, I just wanted to say that you have a really beautiful voice. You can consider me your first fan when you make it big”.

Rosé smiled at her and Denali couldn’t help but notice how beautiful of a smile she had. 

The singer turned back to her stuff, shuffling things around and leaving the brunette to her thoughts. She wanted to ask the taller girl out but felt all her courage leave her body.

Way to go, Nali.

“Well, Uhm, I think I should-”, she started but she was stopped by the pink-haired girl, who had finished packing everything up.

“Here, this is for you”.

It was a jewel case cd, a picture of Rosé in a very 80s inspired attire on the cover with pink marker writing across the front.

‘To Denali

My first (and hopefully not last) fan

     Rosé xo’    

  It was signed with a small rose doodle next to Rosé’s name and, much to Denali’s surprise, a phone number along with the phrase ‘put it to good use’.

She looked up to find the other girl staring at her, her guitar case strapped on her back. She gave her a wink and started walking towards the subway.

Denali stood there for what felt like forever as she watched Rosé disappear in between the crowd of people roaming the streets. 

She looked back down at the cd, committing the number to memory. She turned around to look at the back, her eyes were drawn to the tracklist. 

She smiled when she saw On The Ground. 

Finally, she didn’t have to listen to a shitty phone recording to enjoy it. 

“Wait, what? You had recorded it all secretly and shady, mama?”

Rosé’s laugh filled the room as Denali tried to hide her face on the other girl’s bare chest.

“You’re an ass! I just wanted to use it for one of my skating routines”, she muttered, causing her girlfriend to laugh even harder.

“I find it cute that I’m not even famous and my music has already been pirated!” she commented, “I’m already halfway there to stardom, baby girl,” she added, kissing the top of Denali’s head.

The shorter girl groaned as she hid the increasing blush on her cheeks, rolling her body so that she was on top of the pink-haired girl.

“Well, miss Rosé, is it pirating if it was for personal pleasure only?”, Denali teased, running her hands upwards on the naked skin, slowly lowering herself until her face was inches away from her girlfriend’s.

She felt Rosé’s hands take a firm hold of her behind, “Oh angel, I’ll show you personal pleasure,” the singer replied, eliminating the little space left between their lips as Denali brought her hands to cup the older girl’s face.

Rethinking about those lyrics Rosé had written months prior, Denali knew she was right, she did have everything she needed on the ground.

It was to be right there with Rosé.

[qqueenofhades]

I want to hear about gay knights. Please.

Ahaha. So this is me finally getting, post-holiday, to the subject that was immediately clamoured for, when I volunteered to discuss the historical accuracy of gay knights if someone requested it. It reminds me somewhat of when my venerable colleague @oldshrewsburyian​ volunteered to discuss lesbian nuns, and was immediately deluged by requests to do just that. In my opinion, gay knights and lesbian nuns are the mlm/wlw solidarity of the Middle Ages, even if the tedious constructionists would like to remind us that we can’t exactly use those terms for them. It also forces us to consider the construction of modern heterosexuality, our erroneous notions of it as hegemonically transhistorical, and the fact that behaviour we would consider “queer” (and therefore implicitly outside mainstream society) was not just mainstream, but central, valorized, and crucial to constructions of medieval manhood, if not without existential anxieties of its own. Because medieval societies were often organized around the chivalric class, i.e. the king and his knights, his ability to make war, and the cultural prestige and homosocial bonds of his retinue, if you were a knight, you were (increasingly as the medieval era went on) probably a person of some status. You had a consequential role to play in this world, and your identity was the subject of legal, literary, cultural, social, religious, and other influences. And a lot of that was also, let’s face it, what the 21st century would consider Kinda Gay.

The central bond in society, the glue that made it work, was the relationships between soldiers, battlefield brotherhoods, and the intense, self-sacrifical love for the other that is familiar to anyone who has ever watched a war movie, and dates back (in explicitly gay form, at least) to the Sacred Band of Thebes. Medieval society had a careful and contested interaction with this ideal and this kind of relationship between men. Because they needed it for the successful prosecution of military ventures, they held it up as the best kind of love, to which the love of a woman could never entirely aspire, but that also ran the risk of the possibility of it turning (homo)sexual. Same-sex sexual activity was well-known in the Middle Ages, the end, full stop. The use of penitentials, or confessors’ handbooks, as sources for views or practices of queer sexual behaviour has been criticised (you will swiftly find that almost EVERYTHING used as a source for queer history is criticised, shockingly), but there remains the fact that Burchard of Worms’ 11th-century Decretum, a vast compilation of canon law, mentions same-sex behaviour among its list of sins, but assigns it a comparatively light penance. (I don’t have the actual passage handy, but it’s a certain amount of days of fasting on bread and water.) It assigns much heavier penalties for Burchard’s main concern, which was sorcery and the practice of un-Christian beliefs, rituals, or other persistent holdovers from paganism. This is not to say that homosexuality was accepted, per se, but it was known about, it must have happened enough for priests to list in their handbooks of sins, and it wasn’t The End of The World. Frankly, I am tired of having to argue that queer people existed and engaged in queer activity in the Middle Ages (not directed at you, but in general). Of course they did. Obviously they did. Moving on!

Anyway. Returning to gay knights specifically, the fact remained that if you encouraged two dudes to love each other beyond all other bonds, they might, you know, actually bang. This was worrisome, especially in the twelfth century, as explored by Matthew Kuefler, ‘Male Friendship and the Suspicion of Sodomy in Twelfth-Century France’ and Ruth Mazo Karras, ‘Knighthood, Compulsory Heterosexuality, and Sodomy’ in The Boswell Thesis: Essays on Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, ed. Matthew Kuefler (Chicago; University of Chicago Press, 2006), pp. 179-214 and 273-86. I have written a couple papers (in the ever-tedious process of one day being turned into journal articles) on the subject of the Extremely Queer Richard the Lionheart, some material of which can be found in my tag for him. Richard’s queerness has been argued over for a long time, we all throw rotten banana peels at John Gillingham who took it upon himself to deny, ignore, or minimize all the evidence, but anyway. Richard was a very masculine and powerful man and formidably talented soldier who could not be reduced to the stereotype of the effeminate, weak, or impotent sodomite, and the fact that he was a prince, a duke, and a king was probably why he was repeatedly able to get away with it. But he wasn’t alone, and he wasn’t the only one. He was very much part of his culture and time, even if he kept running into ecclesiastical reprisals for it. It happened. If you want a published discussion that covers some of my points (though not all of them), there is William E. Burgwinkle, ‘The Curious Case of Richard the Lionheart’, in Sodomy, Masculinity, and Law in Medieval Literature: France and England, 1050-1230 (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2004), pp. 73–85. Also on the overall topic, Robert Mills, Seeing Sodomy in the Middle Ages (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2015). 

Peter the Chanter, a Parisian cleric, also wrote De vitio sodomitico, a chapter of his Verbum abbreviatum, fulminating against “men with men, women with women [masculi cum masculis […] mulieres cum mulieribus]” which apparently happened far too often for his liking in twelfth-century Paris (along with cross-dressing and other genderqueer behaviour; the Latin version of this can be found in ‘Verbum Abbreviatum: De vitio sodomitico’ in Patrologia Latina, ed. Jacques-Paul Migne (Paris: 1855), vol. 205, pp. 333–35). Moving into the thirteenth and especially fourteenth centuries, this bond only grew in importance, and involved a new kind of anxiety. Richard Zeikowitz’s book, Homoeroticism and Chivalry: Discourses of Male Same-Sex Desire in the 14th Century (New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2003), explores this discourse in detail, and points out that the intensely homoerotic element of chivalry was deeply embedded in medieval culture – and that this was something that was not queer, i.e. unusual, to them. It is modern audiences who see this behaviour as somehow contravening our expected stereotypes of medieval knights as Ultra Manly No Homo Men. When we label this “medieval queerness,” we are also making a judgment about our own expectations, and the way in which we ourselves have normalized one narrow and rigid view of masculinity.

England then had two queer kings in the 14th century, Edward II and Richard II, both of whom ended up deposed. These were for other political reasons, but their queerness was not irrelevant to assessments of their character and the reactions of their contemporaries. Sylvia Federico (‘Queer Times: Richard II in the Poems and Chronicles of Late Fourteenth-Century England’, Medium Aevum 79 (2010), 25–46) has studied the corpus of queer-coded historical writing around Richard, and noted that while the Lancastrian propaganda postdating the usurpation of Henry IV in 1399 obviously had an intent to cast his predecessor in as unfit a light as possible, the accusations of queerness started during Richard’s reign, “well before any real practical design on the throne […] and well before the famous lapse into tyranny that characterized the reign’s last few years. In poems and chronicles produced from the mid-1380s to the early 1390s, and in language that is highly charged with homophobic references, Richard II is marked as unfit to rule”. E. Amanda McVitty (‘False Knights and True Men: Contesting Chivalric Masculinity in English Treason Trials, 1388–1415,’ Journal of Medieval History 40 (2014), 458–77) examined how the treason trials of high-status individuals centred on a symbolic deconstruction of his chivalric manhood, demoting and exiling him from the intricate homosocial networks that governed the creation and performance of medieval masculinity.

This appears to have been a fairly extensive phenomenon, and one not confined to the geopolitical space of England. Henric Bagerius and Christine Ekholst (‘Kings and Favourites: Politics and Sexuality in Late Medieval Europe’, Journal of Medieval History 43 (2017), 298–319) traced the use of ‘discursive sodomy’ as a rhetorical tool employed against five late medieval monarchs, including Richard II and his great-grandfather Edward II, John II and Henry IV of Castile, and Magnus Eriksson of Sweden. In all cases, the ruler in question was viewed as emotionally and possibly sexually dependent on another man, subject to his evil counsels and treacherous wiles, and this reflected a communal anxiety that the body of the king himself – and thus the body politic – had been unacceptably queered. Nonetheless, as a divinely anointed figure and the head of state, the accusations of gender displacement or suspected sodomy could not be placed directly on the king, and were instead deflected onto the favourites themselves, generally characterised as greedy, grasping men of ignoble birth, who subverted both social and sexual order by their domination of the supposedly passive king. 

None of this polemic produced by hostile sources can be read as direct confirmation of the private and physical actions of the kings behind closed doors, but in a sense, this is immaterial. The intimate lives of presumably heterosexual individuals are constructed on the same standards of evidence and to much greater certainty.  In other words, queerness and queer/gay favourites could not have functioned as a textual metaphor or charged accusation if there was not some understanding of it as a lived behaviour. After all, if the practice did not physically exist or was not considered as a potential reality, there could have been no anxieties around the possibility of its improper prosecution.

This leads us nicely into the deeply vexed question of adelphopoiesis, or the “brother-making” ceremony argued by some, including John Boswell, as a medieval form of gay marriage. (Boswell, who died of AIDS in 1994, published the landmark Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality in 1980, and among other things, controversially argued that the medieval Catholic church was a vehicle for social acceptance of gay people.) Boswell’s critics have fiercely attacked this stance, claiming that the ceremony was only intended to join two men together in a celibate sibling-like relationship. A Straight Historian who participated in a modern version of the ceremony in 1985 actually argued that since she had no sexual inclinations or motives in taking part, clearly it was never used for that purpose by medieval men either. (Pause for sighing.) 

The problem is: we can’t argue intentions or private actions either way. We can understand what the idealized and legal designation for the ceremony was intended to be, but we cannot then outrageously claim that every historical individual who took part in it did so for the party line reason. Maybe medieval men who joined together in brother-making ceremonies did live a celibate and saintly life (this would not be surprising). It seems ludicrous to argue, however, that none of them were romantically in love with each other, or that they never ever ever had sex, because surprise, formulaic documents and institutional guidelines cannot tell us anything about the actions of real individuals making complex choices. Even if this was not always a homosexual institution (and once again with the dangerous practice of equivocating queerness with explicitly practiced and “provable” sexual behaviour), it was beyond all reasonable doubt a homoromantic one, and one sanctioned and organised according to well-known medieval conventions, desires (for two men to live together and love each other above all) and anxieties (that they might then have sex).

The medieval men who took a ‘brother’ would probably not have seen it as a marriage, or as the kind of household formation or social contract implied in a heterosexual union, but as we have also discussed, the definition of marriage in the Middle Ages was under constant contestation anyway.  The church was constantly anxious about knights: their violence, their (oftentimes) lack of religiosity, their proclivity for tournaments, swearing, drinking, and other immoral behaviour, the possibility of them having sexual affairs with each other and/or with women (though Andreas Capellanus, in De amore, wrote an entire spectacularly misogynistic handbook about how to have the right kind of love affair with a woman and dismissed same-sex relationships in one sentence as gross and unworthy, so he was clearly the No Homo Bro Knight of his day). So, as this has gotten long: gay knights were basically one of the central social, religious, and cultural concerns of the entire Middle Ages, due to their position in society, their necessity in a warlike culture, the social influence of chivalry and their tendency to bad behaviour, their perceived influence over the king (who they may also have given their Gay Cooties), their disregard of the church’s teachings, and the ever-present possibility that their love wasn’t celibate. So yes. Gay knights: Hella Historically Accurate.

The end.