#and trying to fix my sleep LMAO
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non-un-topo · 8 months ago
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Trying to kick my art block by doing the opposite of an easy drawing
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cicada-candy · 11 months ago
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psst
@wazzappp
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✨drippy✨
wanted to try new brushes, Blaming You For The Consequences
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cream-and-tea · 5 months ago
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the fact is that pallas is sososo scared of agnes wanting them to be good and agnes wanting them to be better that they get completely blindsided by the reality of the situation (<- agnes wanting them to do self care)
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disdaidal · 5 months ago
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Well, this is fun.
Here I'm practicing with Blender, attempting to create my first outfit mod for a video game (fitting one model over another) and oh boy, this is hard.
I have so much more respect for modders and animators now (not that I ever doubted the hard work behind all this, but still).
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dawnthefluffyduck · 10 months ago
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One minute til' midnight (more design-accurate sketches below)
Yeah y'all know the drill by now, this fine specimen from this wonderful story by @patchwork-crow-writes
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unanchored-ship · 6 months ago
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aaaah just a quick thing I did for school... its about the book I Must Betray You by Ruta Sepetys
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I don't have a lot of energy these days [because of The Horrors] so I'm looking at my day and my priorities and trying to plan how I'm going to spend what energy I have, because I do need to be able to rest and relax but there are also things that need doing and that is a careful balance for me.
I managed to [mostly] clean the kitchen last night so I've kicked it out of the priority list until next weekend. Unfortunately the living room, bathroom, bedroom, and my office all need cleaning too. I think of the priorities, my office and the bedroom are the most important to me, so I'll probably push the living room and bathroom until at least Friday.
There's also the laundry. I don't have any clean clothes and as we're moving into winter I need to be more rigid about getting that done because days where the clothes can be dried on the line will be more limited. So I definitely need to wash an outfit or two and hang them up in the next hour.
That's already a really busy day, so I'll probably cut it there. But it's definitely going to still leave me a lot of work this week. Half my cleaning, at least one more round of laundry, settling dog food for the next couple of weeks, planting the fall/winter greens, doing some set up work on my computer, work on some writing projects, cleaning out the fridge, and patching some worn clothes. My work week isn't insane atm, but it is definitely limiting. Right now I have 6+4+0+4+2+5+5= 25 non work/non-survival needs (sleep, food, shower, etc) hours available each week. I need to figure out a regukar distribution of these that means everything is getting done and I still have an hour a day to myself as often as possible. I think it's probably not realistic to give myself more than an hour a day for free time/fun, which is a bit unfortunate because I've found in the past that my floor tends to be getting 2-3hrs of free time most days because of how I deal with transition and decision-making.
25-7 [1hr per day] is 18 hrs, so I just need to decide where and how to distribute those in order to keep pace with things.
Lets say the garden needs 3hrs per week, the laundry needs 4 hours (specifically 2 sets of 2 morning/early afternoon hours), the cleaning needs an hour a day to get through a maintenance clean of the house, and 3 hours once a week to work down any deep cleaning that's built up. Which is....already three more hours than I actually have each week. So I guess I'll make a plan to work in the garden for 20-40min of 4 of my free hours each week.
It really doesn't leave me any wiggle room. Only about 4 hours a week that isn't explicitly allotted to something that needs doing, which means there will probably me a lot of weeks where I only get an hour or so at best across the whole thing for free time. I guess I've had a hard time accepting that at this point, having actual time for myself or a time-intensive project is only available if I've taken a day off work. I love my job, but it's ... not comfortable to realize that it's the only love in my life I actually have time for anymore.
I think that's probably why I end up here so much. It's this mindless little way of zoning out into my own head, dissociating away from the exhaustion, for a few minutes at a time. I keep thinking I want to use this space differently, make it more if the things I enjoy. But I think what I really want is just to actually have the time and energy to do things I love that take work. I keep crying a few times every day and I couldn't figure out why, but like
I dunno
Why **wouldn't** I cry a little every day? It's the closest I'm getting to actual emotional release or relaxation in my life. We'd probably all cry. Heck. A lot of us probably DO, capitalism being what it is.
I guess I'm starting to wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing. What is there left for me to sacrifice to this life? What is actually serving me about not just letting myself go up like a fireball and take my surroundings with me? What in the ever loving fuck am I fighting this hard for?
All I ever want, all I want now, is to be able to live. To really, actually live. How does wanting to live bring you this close to killing yourself, whether on accident or on purpose? What am I actually doing that is LIVING and what am I doing that is FACILITATION of living? It can't all be facilitation, or I'm not actually facilitating fuck all.
I'm 30 goddamn years old and I need to figure out what it looks like to actually love my life. I fundamentally refuse to zombify myself like this for everyone else around me forever.
#i really wanted to believe that if i just sat down and did the math i'd be able to figure it out.#but there is literally not enough time in the day for me to do all this.#i suppose i could sleep less. it's...not great for me to get less than 9 hrs a day#but i could probably pull it off for brief stints#a week on a week off or something#get an extra two hours a day that way#and then of course there's my old go to#i could just stop eating or taking care of myself#lord knows it's my well-being that restri ts my time more than anything else#and if i work myself to death like mom did instead of committing suicide at least the life insurance pays out#in case anyone gives wifey inheritance trouble#i already don't eat until dinner so that part won't give me a TON of extra time#but an hour a day at the end of the night to write does sound lovely so it might be worth it#on the weeks i sleep less i could use my 2 extra hours a day to do ingredient prep so that wifey's food doesn't go to waste as much#maybe even work on the garden and the yard's facilities a bit. i have a few projects that need time and attention so those'd fot in#if i cut my pain meds too i could put an extra $50/week back in my budget and i could use that for project supplies and emergency funds#god even thinking about this is making me so tired.#i don't know what this will leave of me#i've been doing this so long now#feels like the last time i remember having a consistent hour to myself every day was my BA sophomore year#and that was the first time too lmao#i'd spent high school waking up at 3am every day after going to bed at 12am because I needed to do my hw in the mornings#my bus left at 7:30am and i had to do all my paper assignments - make myself lunch for the day - wash dishes/tidy the kitchen - and THEN#i could finally make sure i had my shit together for the bus and maybe nap for 5min#then i didn't get home from school until 4pm and i had to fix the kitchen from whatever my parents did before i got back#then make dinner for the family#then clean the living room from whatever the pets had dome all day#then take the dog for her nightly walk and take a shower#and usually sometime after dinner around 9pm I would get permission to run to my room and try to get a head start on my hw before 11pm#that was my lights out curfew so it gave me a blessed single guaranteed hour to do something for me.....assuming i could stay conscious
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imaginealpha · 1 month ago
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Tech product guides trying to troubleshoot your issues: lol have you tried turning it off and turning it on again 🧐 I'm not going to read any of the things you said you did, if it doesn't work then get fucked. Go to settings and click this option that you said isn't even there anymore
Reddit: here's some actual helpful suggestions on where to find settings that can fix your problem. We're more reliable than google search. Except for when we just tell you to buy new hardware instead of trying to fix your problem
Some obscure tech blog article from 7 years ago: i *google ad* gotchu *google ad* *google ad* *troubleshooter you never knew existed* *google ad* *solution to your problem*
#tell me why i just spent the last four hours troubleshooting issues caused by NOT PLUGGING IN ESSENTIAL CABLES#in my defense i havent worked on the internals of a pc in seven years#but goddamn it was infuriating that the solution to my problems was to plug in a cable three times in a row#it's almost like i didnt have unnecessary cables in there and was keeping the extra one for a reason#but of course the fucking product site wont tell you this#i had to figure out i was missing the goddamn power cable from a youtube video on the bluetooth card installation#and before that i had to plug in a cable that my brother (the person who GAVE ME THIS MOTHERBOARD) said was unnecessary#like HOW did your computer function. mister sir this thing froze on startup without the cpu power supplement cable#extra support my ass#i would love it if msi motherboard installation guides mentioned the bluetooth cable too but noooo#may god help you if you ever have a bluetooth issue because ive had them plenty of times and they are fucking impossible to fix#this is why i quit robotics LMAO#anyways. rant over my pc is built now and the new setup is sooo pretty.#my brother did one thing right with this motherboard and that was installing ram with rgb leds 🥰#rainbow hardware my beloved#my old motherboard had these gorgeous leds and then they just stopped working :c i want more#at least this giant desktop is off my floor now. a tour group apparently was here while i wasn't on monday#(super pissed about that btw. if it happens again i will be tearing the office a new one bc we weren't even notified)#like i kicked that thing plenty just trying to walk around my room. it was right by the door. god wont save you if you break my shit#if someone else kicked that thing while in my apartment when i wasn't here. hoo boy#ok that's enough it's 6am and i finished my cocoa espresso three hours ago. i have two athletic classes today i need to sleep#imaginechats#<- new tag!! i might start rambling more#bc i love never shutting the fuck up 😄#it is a play on imaginecat btw if anyone was wondering. i go by that occasionally as a play on imaginealpha#less formal more cute nickname type thing
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byanyan · 2 months ago
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okok i wanted to do more tonight but honestly? i'm impressed i wrote anything with how tired i am lmao. tomorrow!!! i'm comin' for y'all!!!! affectionately, ofc ♡
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lizeon · 3 months ago
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every day i spend on twitter, because that's where most of the starmin are, is a day i wish most of that community would move to tumblr just because the way this site works in comparison would be so much better for it. the ability to tag art and be able to find it later on your own blog no matter how far back it was posted. the way you can add on to each others posts. and also i just like tumblers post format much better. especially for making a vague / simple post and then going into more detail in the tags cuz you don't wanna put all that in the main post but like it's there for anyone that wants to read it. on twitter you gotta put it all in the main body of the post and i. do not want to do that
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hella-handsome · 4 months ago
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Me doing baby damage to the final boss asking it to please die cuz i hate this fight already
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raideo · 5 months ago
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Having an extremely bad one tonight folks 👍
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125storejuice · 7 months ago
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dandyshucks · 10 months ago
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i keep thinking about it and i really think the way Junebug finds out Guz likes them (because I'm an overthinking goober) is a drunk confession from him 😭
he probably gets really wasted one evening celebrating some sort of win for team skull and I'm sitting in another room where it's quiet and I'm doing something like reading or drawing, and he comes stumbling in because he misses me even though it's only been like less than an hour since he last saw me, and WAIT this is turning into an actual writing thing okay um uh - (1k words on the dot comin atcha)
Junebug looks up from their berry studies, grinning when they see what a mess Guzma is. "How're you doing there? You look a little rough around the edges," they tease, setting their book aside.
The man's face twists into a sloppy grin and he chuckles. "Nah, nah, nah, m'fine, m'fine. Jus' missed you, wanted to see ya...." He makes his (slightly stumbling) way over to the desk Juno's sitting at, before slumping down to the floor and leaning back against one of the trainer's legs. "Missed ya soooo much, missed seein' your face."
The face in question is now bright red, and Juno twists their head around to shield it from Guzma's gaze. "Sorry if I left too early, I just-"
"Nah, nah, not'n issue. Jus' like seein' your face. Havin' ya around." He leans back and sighs happily. "Makes me feel warm inside."
Face aflame, Juno sits for a moment, lost for words. "Oh, uh, I'm... glad I can... do that for you." He's not implying anything extra. You're just friends. This isn't anything other than a good friendship. Juno repeats this over and over in their head as Guzma settles even more heavily against them, leaning his whole weight against their leg now. Juno pulls themself together, the weight grounding them. "Guz, you're gonna knock us both over if you keep leaning on me like this. Here, let's adjust if you're going to hang out for a bit, okay? If you want to talk that's fine, but otherwise I'm just going to keep working on my studies here."
Guzma groans as he sits up, and Juno moves onto the floor over to the wall behind the desk.
Patting the floor beside them, they say, "Come over here, okay? Just don't crush the leaves in this bag; I'm sketching them out right now."
With another groan, he shuffles himself over to sit against the wall, before grabbing the bag Juno had held up from their lap. "S'bunch'a leaves?" he slurs out.
"Berry plant leaves," clarifies Juno. "I'm drawing them for some notes I have." They point to one of them, brushing against Guzma's hand as they do so, and say, "These one's are from the Oran plant; I brought them from home to compare with any I find here."
With a smile, Guzma grasps Juno's hand with his, carefully setting the bag down so he can bring that hand to trace the outlines of their fingers. Juno feels their face grow hot again, and they look away to the right. "Your hands are so small..." he muses, sounding almost awed.
Juno stays quiet, but turns their head back to look over at him again.
"I like your hands," he says decidedly. "Like 'em a lot." He looks up at them suddenly, a shy grin stretched across his face. "I like you a lot, too, the whole you. Every piece of ya. Nothin' I don't like." He raises a hand to place against their face. "Y'so pretty... 'n' small... like one'a my bugs..."
They can't help but laugh at that, and he laughs too, feeling them shake with mirth under his hand. "Your bugs are pretty?" Juno asks with a disbelieving smile.
"Not prettier than you. You're the prettiest bug around."
Juno laughs again, shaking their head and pulling away from him. "Guz, you're so drunk right now."
Guzma shakes his head, placing a firm but gentle hand on their face to turn it back to his. "Nahhh, I'm - ... well yeah, I'm pretty fuckin' wasted right now, I know that, I know." He laughs before continuing, "But I also know I like ya a lot an' I'm happy I'm finally tellin' ya. You really are the prettiest goddamn bug I ever saw, a little Junebug, and I'm so fuckin' glad I caught ya out in the forest that day or else the best goddamn thing in my life woulda passed me right on by!" He stares at their eyes earnestly, trying to convey just how real this all is for him.
As he talks, Juno's face softens, their eyebrows creasing up. "I'm glad I'm here, yeah," they say, pausing. They look down, opening their mouth to say more, glancing back up at Guzma's face, and then look back down as they shut their mouth again.
"Junebuuug," he says pleadingly. "You're holdin' out on me here, what're y'thinkin'?"
They shake their head, biting at their lip nervously.
He sighs. "Aight, aight, m'not gonna push ya. Lemme just sit here for a bit an' then I'll get outta your hair." He lets go of their face and leans back against the wall with another sigh. "Meant what I said though."
After a couple minutes of silence, interspersed by pencil scratches against paper, Juno finally asks quietly, "Which part?"
Guzma rolls his head around to look at them. "Huh?"
"Which part did you mean?"
He scratches the side of his nose. "Which part did I - oh, oh, wait, I gotcha. Am I really that drunk or did it just take ya forever for you to say anything?" He chuckles, slinging a hand over to shake their knee.
"Sorry, I was jus-"
"Don't worry about it, I'm just fuckin' with ya. You make it too easy!" He turns his body to face them properly and plants a heavy hand on their arm, still obviously drunk. "M'gonna say it again for you, really spell it out, aight?"
Juno bites at the inside of their cheek, looking up at him to meet his eyes, hands fidgeting.
He glances down to see that, and smiles, taking their hands in his. "I like you, Juno. An' I think you're a real goddamn catch. And I want you to stay here as long as you can, maybe forever, but I like ya and I like having you around." He pauses, searching for the right words in his alcohol-addled brain. "An' I'd give up a shit ton if it meant you'd be mine, y'know? I like ya a whole fuckin' lot."
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izzy-b-hands · 1 year ago
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there's nothing quite like getting a text message at 1 AM that may or may not itself be a scam thing, about potential fraud charges on one of your cards. Fucking. Cool for me.
(I've got a reminder on my calendar to call the bank tomorrow when I'm awake and semi-functional and already checked the online banking for the card in question and can't find the supposed transaction? So I'm assuming the text itself is somehow potentially a scam and if not. I can't fuckin' do anything abt this rn when anyone who could help me is asleep lmao)
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naturally-dazed · 1 year ago
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this precious angel aged up and im sad no
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and kai finally got another promotion lmao wo w look at me not having sims max out everything by the time they're elders (or actually playing the same sim till they're elders...)
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