#and trust it's so much happier when you let yourself seek for better and leave those parasites behind you ❤️ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jisungsmochi · 3 years ago

Text

nct dream reaction: them getting jealous when you are getting closer to another member

okay trust me, i’m writing some new fics, i just finished this first so here it is

mark:

i feel like he is the type of have A LOT of trust in his partner - without trust, he wouldn’t even be in a relationship with someone

he wouldn’t mind you having other guy friends, just as long as you were clear about your relationship with them

he knew that you and renjun were friends prior to your relationship

so naturally, he was aware that you guys were already close

but whenever he saw renjun lean in closer towards you whenever you were talking

or whispering small inside jokes into your ear

he couldn’t help but feel annoyed?

of course he trusted you, and he trusted renjun

but the sight of you two being so close made him feel uneasy

so he would opt to leave the room, not wanting to do or say anything he would regret

as i mentioned, he has a lot of trust in his partner, he wouldn’t want them to not trust him in return

you would run after mark the moment you heard the door close behind him

you approached him cautiously, your fingers softly tapping his shoulder

“hey, are you okay? did i say something?”

“no you didn’t say or do anything at all. it’s just me” he shrugged, fuelling your concern

“what’s up? you know you can tell me” mark begins to feel slightly embarrassed at this point

“i-i was jealous of you and renjun, okay? i know it’s silly” it caught you off guard, you never really saw mark as the jealous type

but this only meant that he really liked you

you shook your head playfully, wrapping your arms around his torso, smiling into his chest

“it’s not silly, you can tell me how you feel. i actually prefer it, rather than you leaving and staying quiet, you know?” mark just nods, his hand rubbing your back softly

he was so lucky to have someone like you in his life, everything felt complete

renjun:

hmm i have some mixed feelings about how he would react

i feel like he would go for someone who is independent and has their own strong personality

basically he would prefer a partner that isn’t too dependent on him, you know?

but when he sees how social / close you’ve become with jaemin, he’s about to lose it completely

jaemin was naturally flirty, and you were naturally enticing to be around

that mix was not a good look in renjun’s eyes

he wanted nothing more than to pry you away from his friend

but he didn’t want to be labelled as the ‘possessive’ or ‘overbearing’ boyfriend

you would always shift your eyes to make contact with renjun’s, assuring him that you were still paying attention to him

but it still wasn’t enough for him to stop feeling jealous

once jaemin laid his hand on your shoulder and moved closer to you (a little too close to comfort for renjun) — he snapped

renjun would excuse the both of you, pulling you along with him out of the room

“i-i don’t like jaemin touching you like that”

you found it slightly amusing that he was jealous. of course you took it as a friendly touch, but you understood how it looked to renjun

“that’s just how he is. you’re the only one i want to hold hands with” you link your hands with his tightly

he starts to go quiet

“and you’re the only one i want to kiss” you peck his cheek gently “like this”

renjun felt his cheeks heat up from the touch, immediately feeling shy infront of you

“o-okay, i just got jealous, that’s all” he pouted

“i know, and that’s okay! just remember that i’m all yours, and only yours, okay?”

jeno:

very very protective

makes it clear that he can get jealous but you had never seen it first hand

so when he saw you laugh a bit too hard at one of haechan’s jokes, he felt his heart slightly ache

‘i’m not as funny as haechan’

‘they looks so much happier with him’ he would think to himself

despite his tough exterior, jeno had a lot of insecurities inside

he doesn’t think he has ever seen you laugh that hard at one of his jokes before

so he starts to get quiet, distracting himself with his phone

suddenly the laugher stops as you make you way to sit down next to your boyfriend

he honestly would be a bit petty at first, only responding with one word answers, until haechan calls him out

“dude, get off your phone and talk to your partner”

“dude, how about you stop flirting with my partner then?” jeno grunts, causing the whole room to go quiet.

you felt so embarrassed, apologising to haechan quietly before dragging jeno away from the group

“what was that? it wasn’t cool, you have to apologise to him!” you folded your arms, not comprehending how jeno was feeling

“what? i’m not apologising. you obviously enjoyed his flirting!”

“jeno, you’re being quite unreasonable right now. it was just some harmless jokes, nothing more” you tried to reassure him

he knew you were right, but he was stubborn at times

“look at me” you brought his face between your palms

“go and apologise to haechan, and then we can go home and cuddle, and also have a deep talk about all of this. sound good?” you suggested

jeno nodded, placing a soft kiss to your forehead

he was whipped for you, this only solidified how he truly felt

haechan:

oh the pettiest of them all

would make it known he was NOT happy with you leaning in so close to mark

you were at a formal function for the celebration of their new album dropping

a lot of people attended, meaning you had to lean in closer than usual just to hear someone speak

haechan couldn’t hide his jealousy when you slapped mark’s shoulder playfully

“jeez, stop shooting holes into mark’s head!” jaemin joked, causing haechan to start glaring at him

renjun tried his best to call down the heated boy

“you know mark wouldn’t ever try anything, don’t get it all twisted in your head, alright?”

haechan just nodded, he knew renjun was just speaking facts

you eventually went to seek out your boyfriend, catching him by the drinks table

“hey, where have you been? i was looking everywhere for you”

“clearly not everywhere”

that caught you off guard

“excuse me? what’s your deal?”

haechan sighs at you, knowing that he shouldn’t have been snappy towards you

“let’s just not make it a bigger deal than it is, i was just jealous of how close you and mark were tonight. you barely talked to me, that’s all” he tried to shrug it off, but you knew him better than that

you placed a firm squeeze to your boyfriend’s shoulder

“if it upset you so much, you know you could have just talked to me? i would never intentionally ignore you like that, i was just so excited for tonight”

haechan nods, pulling you to his side slowly, his arm latched to your waist

“i know and i’m sorry, would you care to dance?” he slightly bit the side of his lip as you nodded enthusiastically

“of course i would” you would drag him to the dance floor as you swayed along to a random ballad playing through the speakers

the rest of the night was full of laughter and smiles once haechan realised he was worried for no damn reason

jaemin:

i see him as someone who can get easily jealous

if another guy even looked at you the wrong way, jaemin has his eyes on them

i feel like he does have self control tho and would choose to not act upon his jealousy

but one day he just snapped

you were playing video games with jeno while you were waiting for jaemin to come home

it wasn’t unusual for you to do so

but one time you didn’t greet jaemin when he came through the door because you were too engrossed in the game

he wouldn’t say anything at first, understanding that you just wanted to beat jeno’s ass

so he makes himself a sandwich before sitting down on the couch with you, pulling you to his side

you slightly shrug him off,

“hey, let me finish this round” you don’t even look at him, which made jeno chuckle

jaemin glared at his friend, but was still in shock by your reaction

“jaem, they’re good at this game, have you been teaching them?” jeno nudges you gently as he continued to play

jaemin was beyond pissed at this point

not only was his significant other ignoring him but his friend was sitting a little too close for his liking

he tries to grab your attention again, tugging on the sleeve of your hoodie, pressing his cheek to your shoulder

“baby, i missed you” he whispered in your ear, distracting you from the game, making you lose the round

“jaem, look what you did now!” you pout, turning to face him

jeno sensed there was tension and quickly scurried off to his own room

“i’m sorry i ruined your SUPER fun game with jeno” he scoffed

“oh please, you know we are just friends. the ONE time i don’t give you an ounce of attention, you wanna act up huh?”

jaemin was now pouting, fiddling with the sleeves of his sweater

you let out a sigh before moving to sit closer to him, leaning your head on his shoulder

“i’m sorry, i was just getting jealous of how close you guys are now, i want you to play games with me instead! i can teach you everything he can!”

you shook your head before linking your fingers with his

“i know you can, how about tomorrow? the whole day will be just for you and me!” jaemin’s eyes gleamed at the thought, attacking you with hugs and kisses

‘well that was easier than expected’ you thought to yourself

chenle:

seems like the jealous type

idk i get them vibes ya know?

let’s say you invited jisung to go shopping with you while chenle had a different schedule

at first, he’d be like ‘oh yeah go for it!’ bc well, it was just jisung

he had nothing to be worried about

but once he saw you post multiple stories on instagram of yours and jisung’s day out, he couldn’t help but be filled with rage

from eating cute cafe desserts, to buying plushies and even going to the arcade together

chenle was upset to say the least

not only did he miss out on spending time with you, he felt you were slowly replacing him with his best friend

but of course that was the furthest thing from the truth

the tipping point was when jisung posted a mirror selfie of the two of you wearing matching bucket hats

chenle felt his heart ACHE

when you both returned to the dorms, chenle immediately snatched you away, refusing to even greet jisung

jisung stood there like 🧍🏻

anyways chenle would drag you to his room, shutting the door quickly

you were so mf confused

“be honest, do you like jisung more than me?”

you were flabbergasted, was he on crack?

“what? where is this coming from? of course i don’t like him more than you!”

chenle allowed himself to calm down before continuing, shouting wasn’t going to get him anywhere

“well then why did you do so many fun things with him today? you even got matching hats!” he frowned, folding his arms

“we were just hanging out as friends! i promise. and we actually bought you a hat too! i wanted us to all be matching, since we were like a trio. i didn’t know that upset you”

he felt like a complete idiot

“n-no i’m sorry i assumed things, please don’t hate me” chenle pulled you into his chest

“i could never hate you, even if i tried” you sighed, wrapping your arms around his torso

jisung:

oh boy

he’s the silent type,, he would want to avoid any awkward confrontation at all costs

he would bottle up his jealousy until one day he just explodes

i feel like jisung needs a lot of reassurance if he was in a relationship

he didn’t like the sinking feeling in his stomach whenever he saw you and chenle together

things such as playful hits to the shoulder or chest, loud laughter and friendly compliments were seen as subtle flirtations to jisung

you would always try your best to include jisung in your inside jokes with chenle but he’d always shrug it off

“nah it’s just a thing between you two”

comments like those, rubbed you the wrong way and you could tell chenle was slightly bothered too

each time you tried to ask jisung about it, he’d brush it off

“i don’t know what you’re talking about”

“are you sure? because you were kind of being cold to us, don’t you think?”

“doesn’t feel nice when you’re excluded, does it?” you were beyond confused

“can you please talk to me about what’s going on? i don’t like seeing you like this” you pull jisung to across from you on his bed

he avoided your eyes at all costs, fiddling with his rabbit plushie

“i’m jealous” he mumbled

“come again?”

“IM JEALOUS OKAY?” he threw his hands in the air hysterically, catching you off guard

“sometimes i don’t like how close you are with chenle. it seems like you are closer to him than me! i want to make you laugh like that, and i want to buy you nice things. and i want you to hit me playfully”

you listened closely to each concern

you brought your hand to enclose his, placing a soft kiss to his knuckles

“jisung, you’re the only person in this world that makes me laugh so hard that my ribs hurt. buying me nice things won’t change how i already feel towards you. and we can definitely try to be more playful with eachother” you started running your hands through his hair as he slowly shuffled closer to you

“t-thankyou, it’s nice to get it off my chest”

“of course, you have nothing to worry about” you placed a kiss to his forehead as you both spent the night cuddling

#nct dream #nct dream reaction #nct dream scenario #nct dream fluff #nct dream imagines #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct writing #mark lee #huang renjun #lee haechan #lee jeno #na jaemin #zhong chenle #park jisung #jisungsmochi masterlist #jisungsmochiimagines

948 notes · View notes

merakiui · 3 years ago

Note

What do you think of the concept of yan!xiao, childe venti trapping their darling in a teapot?

I feel like they would be less restrictive since the darling wouldn't necessarily be able to escape most likely, so they wouldn't worry about restraint much. Esp in Ventis case...he is the God of freedom so while his darling isn't exactly 'free' they're still kinda free in a way that they have their own world to be free in?

Xiao would probably be somewhat restricted, but only just keep them in the house because he probably wouldn't trust them to be by themselves yet--he figures they may try to run off and hide from him or something

Childe would probably let them try to "escape" on purpose and would be absolutely amused when his darling finds out they wouldn't be able to leave

(cw: yandere, captivity, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, mention of children and implied stockholm syndrome for childe’s part)

Venti doesn't exactly lie to you, but he does trick you. He's aware that it's not the nicest thing to do and that it's not exactly captivity if you're living in a world that resembles the one outside. Only this pocket-sized world is nicer and happier and there aren't any people to get in the way. He tells you about it when you're vulnerable. Maybe you're drunk or you're crying your eyes out because something horrible happened. Either way, you're not in the right state of mind when you make the comment: "I wish I could live in my own ideal world for just one day." And this is great news for Venti because it makes relocation so much easier.

He shows you the teapot and explains it briefly, leaving out certain details. It's better if you don't know everything about how the teapot works. After all, ignorance is bliss. Venti tells you how to get in, but he doesn't tell you how to get out. And the way he describes it makes it sound so tempting—as if living inside this teapot for a bit will cure whatever's bothering you. You decide it wouldn't hurt to spend a day or two inside the teapot to see the little world Venti holds in the palms of his hands.

It's a lot of fun at first. You and Venti glide from the top of the mountains in Emerald Peak, he sings melodious ballads as you look up at the sky, and the two of you play hide-and-seek inside of the house, playfully popping out of rooms and laughing when you’re caught. Eventually the charm wears off and you start to yearn for the outside world. It’s not the same in the teapot. As pretty and peaceful as it may be, it still feels so empty. And when you bring it up to Venti he finds small ways to change the subject. It probably plays out like this:

“Venti, I’d like to go home now.”

“But we were just about to play another round of hide-and-seek! Come on! Don’t be a spoilsport! One more round? Then we’ll leave.”

Or he’ll tell you that you’re already home. There’s always a big smile on his face when he says stuff like that. He’s happy that he gets to spend so much time with you and no one can interfere. But it does get annoying when you start to beg for the old world. Your pleas to leave will fall upon his deaf ears. Venti does feel a little bad when you start to sulk, but his sympathy is short-lived. Let’s not forget that you were the one who wanted this. You wanted to live in your ‘ideal world.’ And isn’t this ideal?

As an adeptus, Xiao is aware of Sub-Space Creation and the effort it takes to construct a presentable teapot. He’s been working hard on his ever since you came into his life. Before he knew you he didn’t have a reason to put effort into it because he stays at Wangshu Inn, but after he met you he started working a lot harder. He tries to make the teapot as comfortable as possible. You mentioned you like dogs or cats in passing? You can find a few in the teapot. You said you like berry bushes and flower fields? There’s a bunch in his teapot. He probably has a nearly perfect model of your room in there as well. Before he brings you into the teapot, he’ll often sit in that room and make sure everything replicates the original, down to the bed frame and the fabric used for the pillow case.

He’ll put some of your things in it just so it feels more personal. Xiao knows he’s stealing from you whenever he does this, but it’s not like you ever noticed anything was missing. Besides, it’s all going in the teapot anyways. You won’t even need your real room or mortal possessions anymore. Xiao is actually quite proud of the teapot and manages to fool himself into thinking you’ll like it, too. And you do (for the first few days, that is). He’s very forward with his question of whether or not you’d like to see his teapot. And you eagerly nod because the two of you are friends and Xiao wants to show you something he made and he looks a little…excited? There’s definitely light in his eyes when he gets your agreement to view the inside of his teapot.

Once you’re inside, you’re genuinely surprised. It’s far more beautiful than you could have ever imagined. The Floating Abode is a really gorgeous landscape. You’re so caught up in looking at the sunset and the flowers and the animals that roam the teapot that you aren’t aware of the horrors that lie just beyond. You’ll find the room that resembles yours in no time and it’s really creepy. As much as you try to tell yourself that Xiao means well and wouldn’t actually do something like this on purpose, it’s hard to ignore the fact that everything is practically identical to your room. It’s so, so strange. You want to ignore it, but you just can’t. It’s so obvious.

It’s definitely creepy, but you don’t have the heart to tell him.

You hold your tongue because you don’t want to hurt his feelings. You’re really the only close friend he has, so you’d feel bad if you insulted his interior decorating skills. Xiao’s pleased to hear that you like it so much. Praise falls from your lips like a waterfall and it gives him a sense of relief. He’s so happy that you like it and since you’re okay with it it’ll be fine if you live here. When he tells you that, your brain freezes and you’re not sure how to respond.

“Live here? Like…permanently?”

And to your shock he nods.

Xiao is far less lenient than Venti. With Venti everything feels like eternal, childish fun with the idea of freedom sprinkled in. But with Xiao it’s definitely a harsher form of captivity. You aren’t allowed outside because he’s worried you might fall off of the bridges that connect the floating islands or you might try to find your way out of the teapot. So you’re confined to the mansion. It’s got everything you could ever need and the interior design matches that of your home perfectly. Just treat it like it’s your own home and it won’t be so bad. You definitely try to see the good in this situation because you care about Xiao, but it’s so hard when he’s keeping you here like you’re just another addition to his teapot.

It’s miserable, but at least you can count on him to visit you every single day.

Childe is very receptive to the idea of owning his own little world in a small teapot. Maybe he was holding you captive before he came upon the teapot and while you’re sleeping he relocates you. You don’t expect to wake up in a new location, but you assume you’re still somewhere in Liyue. Childe finds it cute that you’re so startled, clearly confused with the change in scenery. And when you glance at the surroundings on the Cool Isle, it feels like you might have a chance. Childe seems to think so because he waves you off, telling you with the sincerest voice that you’re ‘free to go.’

You don’t need to be told twice and so you run because you’re invigorated. You can leave and he’s not coming after you. Childe doesn’t even raise his bow in warning. You’re actually leaving him and he’s letting you! But it feels too good to be true. A day passes and you learn that there’s no one else to help you. So you find an empty shack on the shoreline and you hide in it because survival is the only thing you know right now. And the day goes by, the night comes, and morning makes its arrival. You’re still safe. He hasn’t found you.

And it really feels like you can make it out of this. Even if there’s no one around, you can still find something to help you. You’d take anything at this point. By the end of the week, you’re losing sight of your goal and you really just want to head back to the mansion and nap on a comfortable bed. You’ve been catching the crabs and the fish and doing what you can to start a long-lasting fire. When Childe finds you, you’re so exhausted from running and hiding that you collapse into his arms. And he smiles so sweetly while he tells you something that shatters your entire world.

“You did well, comrade, but this isn’t Liyue. You have no need to run.”

It’s not even Teyvat. It’s another world entirely—one existing solely within a teapot. And everything comes crashing down when you realize just how impossible that makes any escape attempts. No human contact. No energy or life that comes from meeting with friends and seeing family. It truly does feel like you and he are the only people in this world.

Childe knows that you’ll adjust to this new world whether you like it or not. It was fun to toy with you in the beginning (and it still is) when you didn’t realize this was the world inside the teapot. But now he just wants to settle into a comfortable life. He takes every chance he has to visit you and eventually you’ll find yourself succumbing to the relaxing pleasures of domestic life. You learn how to cook delicious meals with Childe’s help, you collect seashells on the shore to cure your boredom, and you’ll take care of any chores or housework. It warms Childe’s heart to see you accepting this life.

Maybe the two of you can start a family. Maybe he should get a few pets to liven up the house. It’s not like you can get away from him while inside the teapot, so it’s a recipe for anything to happen. And you’ve come to learn that what happens in the teapot stays in the teapot.

#chit chat #yandere #yandere venti #yandere xiao #yandere childe

298 notes · View notes

aphrostarot · 3 years ago

Text

Life Advice Pick a Pile

What is some advice your guides have for different parts of your life?

Please remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Don't force it to fit. I offer paid readings on my page if you would like a personal reading. Prices are listed there. Please message me if you are interested!

Pile One (Moss Agate Moon):

Advice for Family Life:

The Emperor:

It feels to me like you are not in control of your family life. You don't stand up for yourself and you let your family control your life. You are being told by your guides to embrace the Emperor's energy in your family life. Ultimately, you are in charge of your life and no one else is. Regain control of your life by refusing to let them dictate what happens to you.

Dragons:

You're reminded by this card that some of the people in your life are very toxic. In this case, it is your family that is toxic. Now is the time to take action, according to your guides. By having the Emperor come out alongside it, it indicates they want you to fight back and regain control over your life.

Advice for Friendships:

Page of Cups:

You’ve been at a standstill in your friendships currently. Nothing good is happening and nothing bad is happening either. It feels to me that you don’t really hang out with your friends much, you just keep in contact through texts and calls every now and then. Your guides are telling you that in the rest you have been taking from your friends you are giving yourself the chance to recharge your batteries and recuperate. They are telling you that soon you will be ready to get back out there and hang out with your friends more often. Be patient with yourself during this time.

Confidence:

It seems to me that you may be lacking confidence when it comes to your friends. Perhaps this is why you have taken a break from them. Finding your confidence is the key to getting back on track with your friends, according to your guides. Be patient with yourself, confidence comes with time, it is not an overnight thing.

Spaceship:

You have been led to believe that your voice - your unique perspective on life - is not worth listening to. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Your guides urge you with this card to not be afraid of being heard, especially when it comes to your friends. It is your uniqueness that makes you such an amazing person to be around. That is something you need to remember.

Advice for Personal Happiness:

Page of Wands:

This card tells me that currently, you are a Debbie Downer in your life and your guides are telling you that the way for you to become happier in your day-to-day life is by embracing your more playful side, becoming more fun-loving.

Eight of Cups:

This card represents shedding the old and moving on to the new. Your guides are telling you that it is time to let go of your negative mindset and embrace your more fun-loving, playful side. As a result, you will embrace more happiness in your life.

Lavender:

You have been distancing yourself from your found family and this card encourages you to make an effort to get back with them. Your personal happiness depends on surrounding yourself with people who make you feel like the best version of yourself, people you can trust with anything in the world. Now is the time to reconnect or make new connections your guides say.

Advice for Work and/or Education Life:

Ten of Wands:

In your work or education, you have been burdened a lot. There have been a number of bad things that have happened in either area of your life that set you back. You've been struggling tooth and nail to regain your footing, but you keep falling short here and there.

Knight of Swords:

These areas of your life require a greater level of aggression from you. Having more confidence is essential in this area. Until now, you seem to have let things come your way and knock you down without fighting back as much as you should have. Your guides want you to begin fighting back. You don't have to accept everything that comes your way.

Villain:

Sometimes the evil wins, and that's a hard truth to swallow. In your work/education life, that seems likely. You're being urged to reclaim control over your journey and rewrite your story. It is up to you to be who you want to be and to do what you want to do. To change your life from here on out, you must recognize that you are in charge and have the power to do so.

Advice for Romantic Relationships:

Three of Cups:

Throughout your romantic relationships, you have made a lot of good decisions that you haven't celebrated. For some, I feel that you have ended relationships that were not serving you in the past, which took a lot of strength and you haven't been able to celebrate. At this moment, your guides are telling you to celebrate everything you have done to get where you are now. Additionally, this card encourages you to not stress about your outcome.

Thorns:

Having this card come up here is yet another message from your guides to celebrate everything you have accomplished in your romantic life. Weave together the crown that you deserve.

Advice for Personal Growth:

Four of Cups:

It seems to me that you have been in a state of stalemate in almost all areas of your life and having this card come out in your personal growth signals to me that that is true for this area of your life too. Currently, you are feeling bored with your current situation and you are being guided to seek out activities that will give you a jumpstart in your personal growth.

Raindrops:

For most of your life, the people you let in have only hurt you. You have stopped trusting others because they have never done anything good for you. As a result, you have locked yourself out in the rain, but you fail to realize that you do not need to be stuck in the rain forever. There will be some people in your life that you can trust to get you through your darkness. Your guides are encouraging you to begin to trust others.

Pile Two (Goldstone Star):

Advice for Family Life:

The Emperor:

This pile feels very similar to pile one. It feels to me like you are not in control of yourself when it comes to your family life. You don't stand up for yourself and you let your family control your life. You are being told by your guides to embrace the Emperor's energy in your family life. Ultimately, you are in charge of your life and no one else is. Regain control of your life by refusing to let them dictate what happens to you.

Queen of Wands:

The Queen of Wands is very ambitious and a great leader. Their leadership is friendly and generous. When you start taking charge of your life again. Your guides want you to embrace this energy. Additionally, the Queen treats herself to luxurious items from time to time, so your guides are encouraging you to take care of yourself as well.

Bitch-Fire:

This card encourages you to stand up for yourself. In the past, your family has been pretty toxic, and you have allowed them to treat you badly because you are afraid of rocking the boat with them. It's not rocking the boat to stand up for yourself, it's keeping the boat stable. Now is the time for you to set boundaries with your family.

Advice for Friendships:

Two of Pentacles:

Balance is something that has been lacking in your friendships for some time now. It feels to me like the effort your relationships with your friends is not 50/50. You are either doing the most or your friends are and you aren't contributing as much.

Four of Wands:

As I said above balance has been lacking for some time now and this card only confirms that. You are being urged to regain stability in your friendships at this time.

Library:

There is someone in your life trying to control and manipulate you. This card coming up is your guides telling you that you need to regain control in your life. Don't let your friends dictate your narrative.

Advice for Personal Happiness:

Knight of Pentacles:

On this journey, patience is key. Being kind to yourself and being patient with yourself on this journey are important aspects of finding happiness. You will have bad days, but that does not mean you are not progressing. Happiness comes and goes, as it should. It is human nature to have a wide range of emotions not just a singular emotion.

Princess:

You can be your own knight in this card. You don't need someone to fix all your problems for you because you are capable of persevering on your own. Happiness can be found within yourself. You do not need others to provide it to you.

Advice for Work and/or Education Life:

Five of Cups:

You may have just lost your job or had to leave school and this has caused you a great deal of sadness. You're lost and don't know how to regain what you've lost. You are encouraged to learn from your mistakes here by your guides. What did you do wrong in the past that led you to where you are now? When you figure that out, you will be one step closer to fixing your situation.

Sun:

This card encourages you to paint the sun back into your sky. Find your happiness outside of work and school. It's not easy to let go of something, but in the end, it's up to you to decide whether you're happy. Find something within yourself that makes you happy.

Protest:

This message may only apply to some so, I am going to quote directly from this deck, “You’ve been looking around and noticing that the world is often unjust, but you’re not sure what to do about it. Like Katniss, you need to be the first spark of your own revolution. Educate yourself. Stand up for yourself. Don’t forget to stand up for others, whether or not you have shared experiences. If you can speak up and do so safely, then do it!”

Advice for Romantic Relationships:

The Sun:

It feels to me that you have been running from your love life for some time now. Feeling that you are better off alone. However, your guides say that this has been affecting your happiness. Now is the time to have fun and be happy, to allow yourself to feel things, to stop running from your emotions.

The Devil:

You may not allow yourself to be free and have fun because you feel that you need to keep up appearances and that means being mature and not having fun. That is not the right way to live. It is possible to be mature and have fun at the same time. You are encouraged to let loose and have fun, doing things you normally would not do.

Escapist:

You are encouraged to stop avoiding things in your life with this card. You will never be able to get rid of your problems if you avoid them or run from them. It is now time to confront your love problem head-on so that it can be resolved.

Advice for Personal Growth:

Four of Pentacles:

Your personal growth may have been affected by not putting yourself first in your life. In this card, your guides are telling you that now is the time to focus on yourself. You should be possessive of your time and energy. Don't just give it away for free. This is the time when you should concentrate on yourself, not anyone else.

Mirror:

Recently, you have been feeling pretty self-conscious about your body. It is time for you to learn to love your body as it is. Do not try to change it. According to your guides, hating your body and trying to change it is preventing you from progressing in your personal growth. You are beautiful the way you are, so don't try to change. Now is the time to realize that.

Pile Three (Green Aventurine Moon):

Advice for Family Life:

Four of Wands:

Your family life is lacking stability, and things aren't going very well for you. You're being urged by your guides to restore stability to your family life. You are being told to make your home as comfortable as possible if you lack comfort at home. They are telling you to do everything in your power to feel comfortable and at home within your family.

Raindrops:

Because you feel like you do not need your family, you don't value them much, not really giving them much time. Perhaps they wronged you in the past, and you have not forgiven them, so you distance yourself from them instead. With this card, your guides urge you to take a chance on your family. You will not be harmed as they have in the past.

Advice for Friendships:

Six of Wands:

When it comes to your friendships, you let your ego get in the way. When you are wrong, you refuse to admit it. You are allowing your pride to obstruct your happiness. Your guides advise you to be more willing to admit your failures. Stop blaming others for your mistakes; they are warning you that if you do not your ego could end up being your downfall.

Dragons:

Slaying your dragons is the theme of this card. It may be that the above-described person is a friend, and if this is the case, then this card encourages you to tell them how their treatment of you has made you feel. In contrast, if you are the person described above, this card is asking you to stop that behavior because it causes you more harm than good, and it also harms those around you.

Advice for Personal Happiness:

Three of Pentacles:

When it comes to your own personal journey, I think you are overconfident and believe you know everything about yourself. You believe that you have nothing more to learn about yourself and what makes you happy. Your guides are telling you that this is not the case. You are being urged to learn more about yourself, to try new things, and to look for new things that will make you happy.

Tree:

While you thought your whole life that you were an empath, now you think you aren't, and the people around you are just dumping all of their problems on you. If that is the case with you then your guides are advising you to let go of the people who are affecting your happiness. People in your life shouldn't dump all of their problems on you for their own sake. It's time to stand up to them and stop putting up with them.

Advice for Work and/or Education Life:

Six of Swords:

The feeling I am getting about this area of your life is very stagnant. It seems that you have not been moving forward in your work or education. You may no longer be passionate about your job or school, or you may not know what you want to do. Your guides are telling you that progress will be made in the future. With this card, your guides are telling you not to lose faith. Soon you will be making more progress toward your goals. Additionally, they are encouraging you to recognize how far you've come in this area of your life.

Expectations:

There's a possibility that you're feeling very stuck in your current situation because what you wanted to do goes against what society wants from you. You are encouraged not to seek approval from anyone else with this card. Those who are stuck in a mindset of restrictive societal norms will always have negative things to say. You are being told by your guides that you can be whoever you want to be. Nobody other than yourself should determine who you are.

Advice for Romantic Relationships:

King of Swords:

I feel that for some of you, you are or were in a relationship with a very controlling masculine force. You are constantly judged and criticized for everything you do or say. They are extremely manipulative and know how to get you to do and say whatever they want of you. Their goal is to dominate everything and everyone in their life. If you are currently in a relationship with this person you are being advised that this person is not good for you at all. If you are no longer in a relationship with this person your guides are confirming to you that this person was not good for you and will never be good for you.

Lighthouse:

For this message, I am going to quote directly what the Oracle deck says. “There will always be someone in your life who doubts the amazing things you’re capable of. It is then that you must decide to be your biggest champion. Believe wholeheartedly in your own worth, regardless of outside opinion. Feed yourself a steady diet that speaks to self-love, self-kindness, and self-confidence.”

Advice for Personal Growth:

The Emperor:

As a result of caring deeply about what others think of you, you have given up control over your own growth. You have given it to the people in your life and to society. Your constant fear of being perceived negatively is what prevents you from thriving. You are being told to regain control by your guides. You should not worry about what others think of you. The only opinion that matters is your own, and once you realize this, you will be on the right track.

Spaceship:

This card tells you not to be afraid to sing. Because you're afraid of what others will think of you, you haven't let your voice be heard for a very long time. Your guides tell you with this card that your opinions and beliefs matter, do not let fear hold you back. Let your voice be heard, even if you are the only one to hear it.

Pile Four (Tigers Eye Star):

Advice for Family Life:

Four of Cups:

Currently, you are unhappy with your family situation. My impression is that nothing has been happening in your family for quite some time. You want things done, but your family never listens. Also, I feel that some of you see how other people live their lives with their families on social media and compare that to your own. You feel like your family isn't good enough, and you want to change that, but don't know how.

Nine of Wands:

For some, recently your family has been arguing more than usual. You are in a lot of pain because of this. You hate to see people argue and when it happens in the place where you call home, it hurts. A number of people have also recently had a fallout with a member of their family that has been very painful.

Spaceship:

For some time now, you have not allowed your voice to be heard in your family. You fear rocking the boat so you keep your true opinions to yourself and say what your family wants to hear. You are being told by your guides that now is the time to let your voice be heard. Make sure you express your needs and desires to your family and don't forget to set boundaries.

Advice for Friendships:

The Fool:

For some, I feel that you have lost almost all of your friends throughout the years or that you really have trouble making new friends. You lack confidence because you are afraid that people will see the real you. It is time to start some new friendships, according to your guides. Embrace your true self and be enthusiastic when it comes to new beginnings.

Sun:

You feel very insecure when people mention their friends because you have struggled your entire life to maintain friendships. When it comes to friendship, you try to avoid it at all costs. As your guides tell you, you are more than capable of forming and maintaining friendships. People will make you happy, but first, you have to make yourself happy. Find out what makes you happy and you will be able to find friends who can make you happy because you will know what you need.

Gold:

Your past friendships consisted of people who tried to make you believe that you were broken and they were the only ones who could fix you. Because of this, they ended up controlling you and doing everything in their power to make you miserable. Your guides are telling you with this card that only you can fix yourself and that you should not trust those people. When you feel you are not broken, but someone is trying very hard to make you feel broken, that is not true friendship. You have to realize this in order for you to understand that you are not to blame for your past friendships failing.

Advice for Personal Happiness:

Four of Wands:

You have been lacking stability when it comes to your happiness because of your current life situation. You are being told to regain stability in your personal happiness by your guides. Discover new things that make you happy. Explore new passions, styles, food, etc.

Protest:

Stand up for yourself in the face of all the negativity around you. You can be happy again in your life by advocating for yourself and standing your ground. Set boundaries with people in your life who are detrimental to your happiness.

Advice for Work and/or Education Life:

Knight of Pentacles:

Your work and school life may not have been going well for some time now. There are so many dreams you have of being successful, and you feel like nothing is working out in your favor. At this moment, your guides are telling you to practice patience.

King of Pentacles:

Your guides are telling you with this card that success is on the way. Your hard work will soon pay off. It is just a matter of believing that it is coming and exhibiting patience.

Evil Queen:

Sugar is what you deserve, not salt. In almost all aspects of your life, you have been receiving blows after blows, and you have come to believe that this is what you deserve. As your guides are telling you, you do not deserve any of the negativity you have experienced, and you need to start believing that you deserve more so you can fight for it.

Advice for Romantic Relationships:

The Hierophant:

This is a great card for traditional relationships, ones that end in marriage. I think that you do not believe in marriage because you feel that they end in divorce, or they are just a negative omen. Your guides are telling you with this card that that is not always the case and you need to start believing in love.

Villain:

Everyone around you who has been married has divorced, and you feel as if this is your fate. Your guides are saying that this is absolutely not your destiny. You have the power to rewrite your own story and your story does not have to end in a divorce or a brutal ending in romance. Take power over your narrative and be who you want to be, love how you want to love. Make your dreams come true.

Advice for Personal Growth:

Ace of Wands:

You have been taught that you don't control your destiny for quite some time. Your guides are urging you to realize that this is not the case at all. You have free will and you can become whoever you want. Your dream life begins when you recognize that you can create it.

Feather:

Society and the people in your life have taught you that you are not in control of your fate, but that your guides/the universe are. This is not true. Your guides/the universe are there to help guide you in directions that will serve you best, but ultimately it is up to you which path you take. You can grow into your best self by realizing that you are in charge of your destiny.

Though tips are not required, they are very much appreciated. Thank you! Venmo: @ aphrostarot

Paypal: paypal/aphrostarot

#pick a pile #pick a card #pick a crystal #tarot readings #oracle readings #spirituality #astrology #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces

125 notes · View notes

nishisun · 4 years ago

Text

couples therapy w/ KUROO!

pairing: kenma kozume x reader

summery: y/n and kenma attend “couples therapy” little did y/n know, there would be a rather pleasant suprised.

genre: just fluff and tiny angst

a/n: this is really rushed because ik y’all are waiting for another dorm buddies part so i wrote this in the middle of the night cause i was bored. i hope you like it LWNAJDHAJDHD. also, i hate reading my works so if there’s any errors i apologize

[recording. patients: kenma kozume & l/n y/n]

[kuroo] hello, kenma-san, l/n-san. how are you both doing today?

[kenma] why are we doing this again?

[kuroo] well KENMA, i already told you, this is good for my training and even better for my resume!

[kuroo] back to the question, y/n-san?

[y/n] (sighs) to be honest, i could be better.

[y/n] uh, kuroo, no need for the honorific titles.

[kuroo] right. kenma?

[kenma] i’ve been.. okay.

[kuroo] okay, so, one of your close friends, kuroo-san i think it was, scheduled you both for this session in which you both agreed to take, am i right?

[y/n] ... aren’t you—

[kenma] ...

[y/n] (looks at kenma, and then sighs and looks back at kuroo) uh— yeah, we did.

[kuroo] okay so, first, i want to know the reasons why you both are here, starting with kenma.

[kuroo] kenma, why are you here today?

[kenma] because you forced me to

[kuroo] ...

[kuroo] A for effort kenma! but that’s not the only reason.

[kenma] well, i’m here to... better this relationship.

[kuroo] okay, why?

[kenma] ... what?

[kuroo] why do you want to better this relationship you have with y/n?

[kenma] ... i don’t know.

[y/n] (scoffs) kozume, really?

[kenma] (shrugs)

[kuroo] so, you don’t know why you want to better this relationship?

[kenma] ...

[kuroo] well, if that’s the case, why are you here? do you want y/n to leave?

[kenma] ...

[y/n] (scoffs) kuroo, thank you so much for attempting to help, but i think it’s just best i go—

[kenma] no! wait. please y/n, wait.

[y/n] kenma, you know i’m trying my best to be patient with you, but it seems to me like you’re not putting effort! i’ve really tried. i did. all i’m asking is to at least put some effort.

[kenma] i know, i know you are. i’m sorry.

[y/n] it’s fine, kozume.

[kuroo] alright then, kenma—

[kenma] i want to better this relationship... because i care about y/n. a lot.

[kuroo] and?

[kenma] and..? (looks at y/n) and uh.. because she makes me happy. i feel.. happier when she’s with me.

[kuroo] thank you so much for sharing. now, y/n, why are you here today?

[y/n] i’m here because i’m willing to give kenma and this relationship a second chance.

[kuroo] (writes notes) that’s very good to hear. thank you for sharing that.

[kuroo] now, it has come to my attention that you both are currently not together, am i right?

(kenma and y/n glance at each other)

[kenma] ...

[y/n] uh, yes, that’s true.

[kuroo] okay. (shuffles through notes) now, a week before you both came here, i asked you both to come here with a video—

[kenma] kuroo, maybe the video isn’t necessary—

[y/n] video? i wasn’t aware of a—

[kuroo] ah, yes. let me rephrase that. i asked kenma actually, he insisted.

[kenma] you forced me—

[kuroo] not important!

[y/n] kenma?

[kenma] (sighs) i... made a video... apologizing because i didn’t think you’d want to see me.. and i’m bad at communicating... kuroo thought it was a good idea.

[kuroo] would you like to see the video, y/n?

[y/n] yes please

[kuroo] okay, i’m just gonna leave and let you both watch the video.

[kenma] maybe i should come with you-

[kuroo] no. (slams door)

——

“okay, it’s recording!” kuroo says behind the camera, giving kenma a thumbs up.

“kuroo honestly, this seems stupid. i don’t even know what to say.”

“say whatever comes in your head. this is a great way for you to realize how important y/n is to you.” he reassures behind the camera. kenma gives kuroo an unsure look as he plays around with his fingers.

kenma sighs and gives kuroo a bored look as he’s adjusting the angle of the camera and once he catches kenma staring, he straightens up and sighs as well. “kenma, you’re not good with words. yes, i know this. making this video is a great way for you to release emotions that you’ve concealed. i know you may think it’s stupid right now, but you’ll be suprised how much you’ve said by the end of this. even if you decide to keep this video to yourself, you’ll feel better. trust me.”

kenma nods slightly, still giving kuroo an unsure look as he readjusted the camera once more.

“pretend i’m not even here!”

“i’m trying to but you keep talking.”

“right. i’ll stop”

“uh.. hi y/n. if you’re seeing this, i want you to know that I’m... sorry for not being there for you when you needed me the most. I’m sorry for neglecting you in our relationship. I’m sorry that it took me so long to realize you were the one for me.” kenma looks down at the ground, pursing his lips and sighs. he looks behind the camera to see a smiling kuroo who’s shaking his head, signaling that kenma should keep going.

“I love you, so much. The truth is, I’m not very good at expressing my feelings, which you already know and you’ve accepted me for it. i just wanna tell you that i really do appreciate that. not a lot of people can handle someone like me and the fact that you could just proves how amazing you are.” kenma is looking everywhere but the camera. he looks up at the ceiling and smiles as he reminisces the first time he met you.

“When you first told me you loved me, I warned you, saying ‘You do know what you’re going to be dealing with, right?’ and you told me, and i remember, with a proud and positive voice you said , ‘Yes, I do. And i’m willing to have the best time with you, even if it’s going to end up being the best romance or the worst heart break.’” I laughed at that. You used to crack me up all the time. I missed that.

“Nowadays, I lay on my bed that used to be ours, staring at the wall for hours wishing you were there with me. Crazy, isn’t it? Because when you were with me I never wanted to do anything with you. Well, that’s not the case. It’s not that i didn’t want anything to do with you, i just... i don’t really know. As stupid as it sounds.. i didn’t think you deserved someone like me. You were— are still too good for me. I guess.. i always pushed you away because I wanted you to realize that.” kenma let’s out a silent laugh and sighs. He looks at kuroo for a brief moment and then looks away, fumbling with his fingers.

“uh... it’s been hard to do a lot of things without you lately. Remember when you’d always have to remind me to eat? Even though I pushed you away, you’d still try to get me to eat because you cared so much for my well-being. You always put me first and I hate myself for not doing the same when it came to you.”

“I miss you so much. I miss your voice. I miss everything about you and it hurts me so much that you’re gone... That I was the one that let you go. Everyday I lay in bed wondering if i should call you just to hear your voice. I wonder if you’d answer. Probably not. You probably hate me for letting you go. Trust me, I hate myself for it too. I hate that it took me actually letting you go for me to realize just how much i needed you.”

“It’s quiet at home. It doesn’t even feel like home without you, y/n. I miss the TV being on your favorite show at 9 in the morning as you’d sit on the couch with both our breakfast set on the table as you waited for me to wake up and eat with you.” kenma puts his hands on his face and sighs again for what seems like the hundredth time today.

“i’m an idiot.”

“kenma, no you aren’t. although you haven’t been.. the smartest recently, i’m happy you’re realizing your mistakes. you’re doing great by the way.” kuroo says, giving the faux blond a reassuring smile.

“thank you.” kenma nods.

“I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you. When I broke up with you, I hated the pained expression you had on your face. I thought I was doing what was best for you without even letting you have a say. You were begging me to not do this to you, but I didn’t listen.”

“I’m not trying to make this video to seek your forgiveness.. i’m probably not going to show this to you anyway. i’ll keep this as a lesson to not let go of the one person you love the most because i love you, y/n.”

“is that it?” kuroo asks,

“uh...” kenma thinks for a second, and then shakes his head “yeah. i think i’m done.”

—

By now you’re already tearing up. Tears of joy. You know how hard this must’ve been for Kenma but the fact that he was willing to step out of his comfort zone for you spoke volumes. He was sitting next to you, as you stared down at the phone that had already turned off covering your mouth and it’s your hands. Kenma didn’t know whether to comfort you, scared that you may reject his touch.

“i’m... sorry—“

“dont, kenma.” you sigh. kenma has a pained expression on his face.

You wipe your tears off your face and look up at him giving him a smile. Out of nowhere, a sudden urge of confidence came through you and you basically tackling him in a hug.

“you’re an idiot, you know that, right?”

“yeah, i know.” kenma huffs out a laugh as you chuckle. he hugs you back, gripping you tight with fear that this moment might end.

“i’ve missed you.” kenma places his head in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent as he plays with his fingers that are wrapped around you.

“i’ve missed you too,” you break off the hug and sit up straight next to him. he’s looking at you— staring actually, you don’t think he’s aware of what he’s doing. “earth to kenma?” you wave your hand in front of his face and he rubs his eyes and chuckles.

“sorry.” he turns and faces forward, still having a small smile on his face.

“hey, what’s up with all of these apologies? are you gonna do something or not?”

kenma turns back to you in confusion, furrowing his brows and you cross your arms smirking, waiting for kenma to understand. Once he finally understands what you’re trying to say, he’s the one hugging you.

“will you take me back, y/n?” he asks— or mumbles. you don’t care though. he’s done enough today. what matters is that he tried. why wouldn’t you give him a second chance?

“of course i will, kozume.” you say, rubbing his back. “hey kenma,”

“hm?”

“a video, really?”

“shut up, i don’t want to talk about it. i just really missed you, okay.”

you laugh at that. you hear the door of that room open. it was kuroo, who was already having a smirk on his face. that idiot.

“a new couple in town, might i ask?”

“oh fuck off, kuroo.” kenma mumbles through your chest, you and kuroo laugh at how annoyed kenma seems.

“see kenma, i told you. chicks love romantic gestures.” kenma lifts his head up from where it’s resting in your chest and glares at kuroo.

“i wouldn’t say that was romantic, but it’s the thought that counts i guess!” you laugh, kenma turns back to look at you and you can’t help but laugh once again at kenma’s expressive facial expressions “but it was cute though. i loved it, baby.”

kenma drops his head back in your chest with a grumble and you caress his hair as kuroo crosses his arms and looks at you both with a smile.

“you guys are soulmates.” he says.

“you think so?”

“nah,” his shakes his head, “i know so.”

tags: @tazinva

170 notes · View notes

blowthecandlesoutt · 5 years ago

Text

the signs’ 2020

Aries: with Saturn leaving Capricorn, your ambitious, career driven side becomes more enjoyable and easier in the coming year. your professional and public relationships will grow and become healthier. while the first half of the year stays career-orientated and focused, the second calls your attention to the ways you communicate and love. with Mars spending time in Aries, you’re going to second-guess your goals, plans, and aspirations. impulsive decisions can get in the way of your peace and prosperity. keep a tight reign on your thought process. your relationships, friendships and romance-wise, will be called into focus from mid-2020 to March 2023. keep your friends close and positive. stay alert for romantic connections that will change your life.

Taurus: the mistakes of 2019 will follow you unless you make a major change that will be hard and extremely self-analytical. however, this change is vital and positive. your mistakes in the past year do not define you, and making this change will cause your relationships and self-image to be far happier, healthier, and beneficial. 2020 will offer you the opportunity to break out of your routine-oriented life. you will find yourself in new and exciting situations that are far out of your comfort zone, in a positive way that’ll offer learning and enlightenment. near the end of 2020, you will find yourself tying together what you have been working on for a long time. finishing up projects, finding new levels of self-actualization, and finding success is likely this year. your past relationships will only haunt you if you allow them. let go when appropriate. apologize when appropriate. you are mere baby steps away from something you have been waiting for.

Gemini: your 2020 is defined by your own innovative ideas and aspirations. with Venus retrograde in Gemini at the beginning of the year, your self-love calls for your focus. you will be able to harness your own ability to attract what you want and need for yourself. as the North Node heads into your sign, this only heightens your ability for self discovery, and your independence and love life will become key parts of you this coming year. however, as positive as this may sound, 2020 brings some hardships as well. Uranus brings forth hidden secrets and parts of yourself you’d rather not admit. watch your own impulsive tendencies; sometimes, it can be self-sabotage. some big questions that come up on this year are; Who can you depend on? Who can you trust? What do you attract?

Cancer: you are poised for a fresh-start this year. your friendships and co-dependent nature are up for questioning in the beginning of this year. who you depend on may not be healthiest for you. watch for your friends’ patterns and how they treat others. 2020 calls for you to protect yourself from manipulation. Jupiter spends some time in your sector at the beginning of the year, also, bringing committed relationships and even possible romance. wellness and wellbeing are boosted, and your motivation is at an all time high. your passion this year is unmatched and you are ready to face the world with what you can do. you can easily expand your world-view with these advantages at your side.

Leo: 2019 brought hardships and lost relationships. your easily-riled nature had possibly made you react poorly to situations that could have been avoided. this year, however, gives you opportunity to start anew. your focus on self-care continues through 2020, bringing your own personal needs to light. early 2020, there might be a bit of a reality check when it comes to relationships and health. however, this gives you a tremendous opportunity to rebuild and become better. Jupiter and Neptune offer new relationships in your life this year, and a subtle, quick-romance might come your way. however, this aspect is fleeting, and as the planets shift you learn to focus more on your own short-comings and accomplishments. this is the year to better yourself and make changes for the better.

Virgo: 2019 might have dug you into a hole, virgo. relationships faced hardships with mercury retrograde, however, with the new year, rebuilding is exactly what you needed. a “new you” is vital to your own mental health and prosperity. you are being challenged to work hard for your own success. venus spends some time in at the top of your solar chart, giving you new ways to find pleasure in your work or future plans. your motivation has struggled in the past few years, however, as the North Node follows Venus, you have the tools to fight this bad habit and continue your usual hard work. you play by different rules this year when it comes to relationships and romance. the Jupiter-Neptune transit is not one that favors commitment or defining romance. however, this does not mean relationships will struggle. simply, giving room to yourself and to your partner to grow will benefit everyone. falling in love is likely.

Libra: your new year will be filled with renovation and comfort. you’ll find a voice you hadn’t thought you had before, and forefront a change in your friend group, family, or relationship. this should not make you panic; 2020 brings you uplifting changes that’ll help you for years to come. with changes, however, you must focus on not becoming too rooted in your own agenda or beliefs. when turning a blind eye to new information or situations, you can appear ignorant or close-minded. be sure to keep your eyes open for new ideas that will suit you. this year is a perfect one for you to keep in touch with yourself. stay out of drama, and focus on your own growth and happiness. it’s okay to be a little self-centered this year.

Scorpio: your perspective on the world is called to a change this year. your ideas and beliefs are rooted deeply in your personality, Scorpio, however, you aren’t always right. these challenging bits of information and experiences will deepen your connection with others and the universe; you just have to learn to let go of the past to do so. home and family life come into focus later in the year. flaws in your home-life, relationships, and self are sure to come to surface. this is an opportunity to fix what has been broken long ago, and will be beneficial to everyone involved. excitement and change are in store for your personal relationships with Uranus opposing your sign. romantic partners come and go but leave lessons, happy memories, and a new insight on connection. this year, independence is important.

Sagittarius: your 2019 mistakes will not haunt you, Sagittarius, as much as it may seem they will. 2020 is a year for rebuilding and growing. your past year has put you through the ringer, and this year is going to let you show what you’ve learned. for the bigger part of 2020, Jupiter encourages you to push your own boundaries and deepen your sense of security. in order to enjoy this, however, you must let go of things weighing you down from the past. Jupiter and Pluto come together to give you the resources to do so, as well as the encouragement and drive to persevere. you may be turning over a new leaf in some form of partnership; whether it’s with a new person or an old friend whom you’ve changed your mind about. a flood of emotional intensity could be connected to this, and by the end of it, you may come out the other end slightly battered. keep your eyes out for red flags and false personas.

Capricorn: your sign is usually not the focus of the zodiac, Cap. however, 2020 changes that. there may be a fall-out with a close friend or relationship in the beginning months of 2020, and your sense of extreme independence is called into question. are you really trying to make everything right in the world, or simply trying to push your own agenda? this question plays on repeat this year as you struggle to keep relationships together. let go, Capricorn, and allow the universe to pull you where you need to be. this year is a powerful one for lifestyle changes, connections, and confidence. you have the ability to work hard and make whatever you desire a reality. you find yourself creatively inspired, through romantic relationships and recreational activities. one thing you will find this year that you’ve never had years prior is time to enjoy yourself and relax. 2020 brings you an enlightening and self-critical time in which you will come out of stronger and happier.

Aquarius: your private-life is called into question this year, and background activity are brought into the light. this can also mean your subconscious, your deepest desires and your karma. if you have been feeling guilty of something that has happened in the past, 2020 gives you the tools to let go and move on. you have been seeking closure that you won’t get. moving forward seems impossible. although 2020 does not offer the ability to fully do so, 2021 brings moving on into full bloom. 2020 gives you the strength to analyze what has been bothering you and observe it objectively. Jupiter moves into your solar twelfth house, which shows you the positive in situations and puts an end to outdated attitudes, beliefs, and thoughts that have been holding you back. There is a lot of inner work and preparation on your part that needs to happen, and though this will be no walk in the park, your relationships and self esteem will benefit greatly.

Pisces: your social life is a main focus in the new year, which will cause sweeping changes in your company. this brings improvements and a higher ability to be your true authentic self. when you surround yourself with those who love the real you, your self-esteem flourishes. though losing close relationships will be hard, 2020 brings a promise that this is meant to be, and will better your own life and self. your interests this year will become far more eclectic and new, and you’ll find yourself becoming interested in things you never have been before. this will broaden your horizons and teach you new skills you’ll use later. watch yourself, you may feel pushed to alienate anyone who doesn’t serve a purpose in your life. take a hard look at your relationships and how you look at people. you don’t want to lose anyone you might miss.

6K notes · View notes

writingwithacupoftea · 4 years ago

Text

A family reunited - part 2!

Summary: The time has come for Y/N Shelby to explain her five-year disappearance to her family. Tommy, her beloved elder brother, proves to be less than understanding...

Word Count: 3220

A/N: 300 followers?? I still can’t believe it. I know this part 2 has been a long time coming, so I hope it serves as enough of a thank you 😘 I’ve never written a sequel to a fic before, so I don’t know how this will go down, but I hope you like it!! 💜💜

Part 1

Y/N Shelby had loved seeing her family again, she really did: it had been what she'd dreamed of for so long, just for them to know that she was alive had brought her happiness.

What she didn't love was Tommy's booming wake-up call of "FAMILY MEETING AT THE SHOP IN AN HOUR - DON'T BE LATE," at half past 8 in the morning.

Ah, but she sort of did at the same time.

Thinking back to the night before, Y/N found a warm, fuzzy feeling spreading throughout her body and a smile spread across her face as she snuggled back into her pillow. Her eyes began to close again, tempting a few more minutes sleep – surely she would still make the meeting in time?

At the thought of the meeting, however, Y/N suddenly found herself wide awake as she realised what the meeting would be for: she was going to have to explain herself. Y/N was going to have to tell everyone why she disappeared for so many years and what happened in that time. Her stomach began to churn and her mind started to race, trying to hurriedly plan out what she would say, but unsure where to even begin.

Y/N was proud of her work as a spy during the war, but that didn't mean that she was looking forward to reliving some of the details of her story.

Knowing that there was no point in delaying the inevitable for longer than necessary, she dragged herself out of bed and sent up a little prayer for the strength that she so desperately needed.

***

As Y/N walked into the meeting an hour later, she noticed the change in Tommy immediately. Gone was the loving brother that had spent the entire evening practically glued to her hip, and in his place was the cold leader of the Peaky Blinders that Polly had told her about upon her return to Birmingham.

Whilst in hiding, Y/N had seen the impact that the war had had on the men who fought in France, but that didn't stop her heart from breaking slightly as she properly looked at Tommy in the light of day. He had always been quiet and controlled, but never to this extent.

She sat down at the table, and soon enough the whole family were gathered. Y/N couldn't bear to look at them, even though she hadn't said a thing yet. She feared their judgement, and was petrified that they would kick her out when she'd only just got back.

But Y/N knew that in order for this to go the way that she wanted it to, she couldn't afford to let thoughts like that show. Instead, she needed to make it clear to her brothers that she still stood by her decision to leave. She had been made stronger by her mistakes and experiences during her time away, and refused to let them believe otherwise.

So, as Tommy cleared his throat to begin speaking, Y/N took a deep breath and looked up.

"Right, well, we're all here - "

"That we are!" Arthur's hand came down and rested on her shoulder roughly, causing Y/N to smile in amusement.

"Yes, thank you, Arthur." Tommy's gruff voice cut through the joy. "So, Y/N, would you care to tell us where the fuck you've been for five years?"

Out of instinct, the woman in question met her older brother's blue eyes, hoping to find the comfort and support that they had always shown to her in the days before the war. But there was nothing; not even the slightest bit of love, or encouragement, or anger or anything.

In that moment, Y/N realised that no one could help her – only she could tell the story.

And so, she began...

***

A couple of hours later, it was finally over.

Y/N had told them all about how she had been recruited as a British spy, recounted most of her tales (but not all – some of them were still highly confidential and as much as she loved Arthur and John, Y/N wouldn't trust them with a barge pole when it came to keeping secrets), and eventually about her time in hiding and return to Birmingham.

Miraculously, she hadn't shed a single tear. Not even when she'd recounted the worst trappings and beatings. Before coming down to the meeting, Y/N had debated whether or not to tell her family about those times, but in the end she knew that the full truth would come out in time and that it would be better to get all of the pain out of the way at once. Whether that pain was for Y/N or everyone else, she wasn't sure.

But Y/N also hadn't been able to suppress her laughs and smiles at the happier memories: the friends that she'd made, the clubs that she'd danced at undercover, the boys that she'd seduced whether as part of her mission or just for a bit of fun (Tommy may appear to be an expert at controlling his emotions now, but you bet that Y/N didn't miss his jaw clench in protective anger several times).

Now, silence filled the room. A silence that seemed to last for eternity for Y/N. Unable to cope with it for any longer, she spoke again, this time unable to control the waiver of emotion in her voice: "Please say something, anything. You lot have always got something to say," Y/N finished with a slight laugh. Unknowingly, she had directed her words at Tommy, who was staring at her, his eyes as cold as ice. Y/N hated the fact that she sounded like a little girl again, seeking his approval; Tommy's opinion had always been important to her, no matter how many times she had vehemently denied the fact when she was younger.

Surprisingly to her, it was John who spoke first, looking at her directly as he did so. "We're proud of you, Y/N/N."

"Yeah," Arthur continued, gruffly. "Just a fucking lot to take in, is all."

Silence infiltrated the room once more, only cushioned by Polly reaching over to grasp her niece's hand tightly.

Realising that Tommy wasn't going to speak any time soon, Y/N stood up as if to leave, her chair screeching horribly across the floor. "Well if that's it, I'll go and -"

"Why?" Her second eldest brother cut her off. Even though her back was now turned, Y/N felt his gaze burning into her.

"Why?" She repeated, confused, as she turned around.

"You heard me. Why did you go?"

"Christmas had long gone, Tommy. I needed to do something other than sit around in Small fucking Heath waiting for you lot to come back. I tried to help with the business, you know I have ideas. But I got nowhere because I'm a woman, alright? So, when an opportunity arose to go and do something useful, of course I was going to jump at it."

Tommy scoffed. "Do you realise how fucking selfish you sound?"

Y/N's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Excuse me?"

"Even after you knew that the war wouldn't be ending any time soon, you still went gallivanting off, throwing yourself headfirst into danger. Did you not stop to think that this family could have lost another member? You clearly didn't, because apparently all that matters to you is getting a rush of adrenaline and trying to be the hero."

Crack. The sound of Y/N's open palm meeting Tommy's cheek echoed through the room.

"How dare you, Thomas Shelby." Y/N's voice was deadly quiet, her rage and feelings of betrayal bubbling ferociously inside of her. "How fucking dare you. After everything that I've just told you, you have the nerve to stand there and call me selfish? I knew that when I signed up there was a chance that I might not come back, but I did it anyway, you're right. I did it in the hopes that my work may help to end the bloody war sooner, so that it was more likely that you boys would come home alive. Because if none of you came back, have you thought, Thomas, how wrecked this family would be? Not just emotionally, but financially as well. There would be three women, Finn, and John's kids left and that would be it. We would hardly be able to bring enough money in to keep everyone safe and together forever, at least not until the children had grown up. As much as you might not like it, Tommy, that I knowingly put myself in a situation where I could've been killed, I did it to try and protect this family."

If Y/N had looked around at her family at that moment, she would have witnessed the shock and pain etched onto the face of each person around the table. None of them had realised that she had put so much thought into her decision to leave. Instead her eyes were locked with those of her brother, unwilling to back down.

Breaking the silence, Y/N added bitterly, "Still think I'm selfish, Thomas?"

She didn't know what she'd expected.

Y/N knew that Tommy wouldn't take it all well, and whilst his instinct to protect her and make sure that she was safe typically overrode everything else, she had hoped that he would have at least understood her reasons behind her actions. He had always said that family came before anything else. So, when Tommy barged past her, storming out of the shop and slamming the door behind him, Y/N couldn't help the sob that escaped her.

***

Dusk had settled over the city. Y/N was sat by the Cut, mulling over the events of the last 48 hours.

After Tommy had left, she had broken down completely, letting out all of the emotion that she had kept pent-up for so long. Her siblings, aunt and cousin had told her that Tommy would come around, and that they would do anything that they could for her.

But, as much as she adored her entire family, she needed Tommy; she needed the brother who had stood by her through thick and thin, who had always trusted her judgement and always loved her no matter what. She hadn't realised how much she had needed him until he had turned his back on her completely.

When most of her tears had dried, Y/N left the shop herself, murmuring a quick "I'll be back later" before she did. The family had let her go, knowing that she needed the time and space to process everything and calm down.

A few hours later, she did feel calmer as she took in the familiar surroundings (a hidden spot next to the Cut that her and Tommy had found when they were younger and hiding from their father). That was until she heard footsteps quickly approaching her from behind...

***

Tommy's mind was racing at a mile a minute.

Once again, he'd gone and ruined things with his family. He'd probably destroyed his relationship with Y/N for good, something that he couldn't bear the thought of losing. His little sister meant the world to him; it just hurt him to know that she had been through so much by herself, and that he hadn't been able to stop it. At least in the trenches he'd had his brothers by his side. Y/N had no one.

But he could help her now. He had realised that after hiding himself away in the Garrison with his thoughts. He'd realised that his place was now back by his sister's side once more.

Tommy had made his way back to the shop to try and make amends, and marched straight over to Polly. "Where is she?" His voice may not have shown it to his aunt, but she could see the emotion in his eyes. Polly was glad that her nephew seemed to have got some of his sense back, but she sure as hell wasn't going to make things easy for him. Tommy's behaviour had been despicable, after all.

"She left." Polly said, simply, returning to her work.

"Left?"

"You heard me, Thomas." God, how many times was he going to be full-named today?

"Left where?"

"She didn't say."

Tommy felt a niggle of anxiety stirring in him. "Well, did she say when she'd be back?"

"No." Polly's lips were pursed in irritation.

"You let her wander off alone, I take it, without asking where she was going or what she was doing, eh? Do you know how fucking stupid that is? We've only just got her back, and you're risking losing her again?"

"Perhaps you should listen to your own words. At least I wasn't the one who caused her to have a panic attack." It was harsh, but partly true: the combination of the memories and Tommy's reaction had caused Y/N to spiral.

Tommy froze, worry and guilt consuming him. How could he have let this happen? He had spent half of the night in Y/N's bedroom last night, making sure that she was real and safe, and now she was gone again.

Walking back out of the shop, Tommy found himself hiding in an alleyway, trying to collect his thoughts as his hands shook. Where could Y/N be? Where would she go when she was scared and upset?

Suddenly, he knew.

***

The hurried footsteps drew nearer, and instinct took over Y/N's entire being. She spun around, gun cocked and pointed straight at the source of the noise, her breathing speeding up again as the last ebbs of her panic attack began escalating quickly again.

Any relief that Tommy had felt at finding his sister faded at seeing her distressed state. He raised his hands slowly and spoke softly to her: "It's okay, Y/N/N. It’s just me, it's Tommy. You're home, you're safe." As he continued to offer his reassurances that she wasn't under threat and edged closer to her, he noticed recognition begin to sweep over Y/N.

Her gun clattered to the ground as she broke down into tears again, relaxing into her brother's embrace as he sat down next to her and pulled the young woman into his arms. In that moment, Tommy realised how broken his sister was, how much the war had affected her, just like him.

Eventually, Y/N's breathing became normal again, the sound of Tommy's heartbeat and the gentle hand stroking her hair grounding her.

After a few moments, Tommy mustered up the courage to say the words that had been on repeat in his head for so long. "I'm sorry, sweetheart." Y/N looked up at him with those big eyes that had him wrapped around her little finger. "I was...overwhelmed and I lashed out, even though you didn't deserve it. Hell, you probably even saved our lives at some point and all I do is call you selfish. I went too far, and I'm sorry."

Y/N smirked slightly at Tommy's obvious discomfort at his confession, but it melted into a gentle smile when she looked up and was met with his loving yet troubled gaze.

"Thank you, Tommy." His entire demeanour relaxed at these words. "Do you understand though? Do you understand why I did it all in the first place? Do you understand why your reaction broke me? All I needed was for my brother to be there, and you just walked out on me. You promised me that you never would. You promised."

Tommy took her hand tightly in his larger one and nodded slightly, a lump forming in his throat. His other hand settled in his coat pocket as he asked: "Are you really back to stay?" The vulnerability that had been uncovered again last night had now returned.

"Yeah, I am." Y/N squeezed his hand. "Doesn't mean you're completely forgiven yet though; speak to me like that again and I'll cut you a smile on that grumpy face."

Tommy breathed out a slight laugh, despite the threat (which he knew was an honest one). "Oh, I missed you, darling." He wrapped his arm around Y/N and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Missed you too, Tom."

***

The siblings sat there, peacefully, for a little while longer. Whilst part of Y/N was still angry at her brother, she couldn’t deny that she felt at home back by his side, in their special childhood hiding place. So, for now, she decided to put her anger behind her.

Soon enough, the chill of the night air began to settle around them. Tommy offered Y/N a hand up and wrapped his long black coat tightly around her, before the pair slowly started walking back towards the streets of Birmingham.

“I promise I’ll try and be better, for you.” Tommy’s voice cut through the silence. I can’t bear the thought of you leaving again because I pushed you out, he added in his head.

Y/N smiled sadly. “Don't make promises you might not be able to keep, Tom. We’re different people compared to who we used to be. All we can do is try, eh?”

Tommy stopped off at the office to call Polly and let her know that Y/N was staying with him for the night. Y/N found herself looking around the big building, in awe of what her family had managed to achieve.

She plunged her hands in the big pockets of Tommy's coat as a shiver wracked her body, frowning when her fingers touched something familiar. Checking that her brother was still on the phone, she pulled the object out and her eyes widened in surprise as she stared at it. It was a small stuffed toy, shaped to resemble a horse (sort of, it was definitely handmade).

Y/N had loved it when she was younger, and barely used to be seen without it. When she grew into a teenager, she had hidden the toy in her old childhood treasure box and retrieved it when she felt low, even as she had entered adulthood. She had been devastated when she couldn't find it to comfort her the day that her brothers had left for France.

The horse was more frayed and tattered than she remembered, and dirtier too. Y/N had always been meticulous for looking after her possessions, not having much of her own.

Then the explanation for its state and whereabouts dawned on Y/N: Tommy had taken it to France and kept it with him ever since, a constant reminder of her.

Placing the toy carefully back where she found it, Y/N looked through the glass to Tommy’s office with tears in her eyes as he hung up the phone. A small smile flickered across his face as he caught sight of his sister and made his way straight to her, not a single piece of work in his hands.

"Come on," Tommy said, softly. "Let's go home."

As her brother subtly offered her his arm, Y/N felt optimistic about the future for the first time in years. As Tommy rested his hand on top of hers, which now sat in the crook of his arm, one thought crossed Y/N's mind:

Maybe Tommy would try. Maybe there was hope for him yet.

But the Shelby family knew that there was hope, because Tommy's guiding light always came in the form of Y/N Shelby...and she wasn't going anywhere any time soon.

#peaky blinders #tommy shelby #tommy shelby x sister reader #shelby!reader #shelby sis #shelby sister #shelby!sister #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x sister!reader #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders sister #peaky blinders x sister!reader #peaky blinders fic #peaky blinder fanfic

729 notes · View notes

drxwsyni · 5 years ago

Text

Petrified (pt.1)

Yandere Erasermic x f!Reader

SERIES MASTERLIST Summary: The two heroes step into a floral boutique, seeking blooming flowers for each other. Instead, they find you, the most precious rose of them all. In noticing just how much such a bright environment seems to take a heavy toll on you, they take it upon themselves to unearth the reasons why - and how to fix it, fix you.

(5.1k words)

Warnings: reader experiences anxiety, mild panic attacks

Friday nights were by far the most strenuous, challenging your mental fortitude to deal with some less than patient customers, along with the physical strain being put on your body to offer the best service possible.

Located in a convenient little building on the first floor was the bustling floral boutique where you were currently being worked far beyond your limits. It was the end of the week and customers were steadily rolling in, new ones entering just as others departed. All arriving for the sole purpose of purchasing a lively arrangement of blooming flowers, neatly accented with variations of greenery and berry-type vegetation.

Amongst the organized chaos of traffic, you were frantically trying to assemble the perfect customization of greenery for each shopper, wrapping it neatly in delicate paper or plastic and string. Applying the finishing touches, you returned to the front counter to hand off the bouquet in exchange for cash or credit, subtly observing the customers' pleased reaction to such an impressive display of flora.

In these reactions to your handiwork did you take pride in your otherwise mediocre occupation, serving as more than enough motivation to push on. However, it was all thanks to your quirk in which you were able to produce such a high quality of service.

Based on society’s standards, your quirk was almost laughable with how weak it was. The ability to support the growth of all types of plants, and maintain their health, titled Nurture. The smaller the plant, the easier it was for the growth to be accelerated. Unfortunate drawbacks did include the strain on your physical health, causing your body to grow more tired with excessive use.

So, here you were nearing the end of your shift in the boutique, situated at the back of the shop slumped over a worktable while supported by a rickety wooden stool. Friday nights being date night for many, you had to put together more bouquets than you could keep track of in the last five hours. And thanks to your unrelenting desire to make every customer pleased with your work, you’d gone and used your quirk on each bouquet to give it a healthy, blooming appearance that none other could produce.

It was nearing 8 o’clock at the moment and all you could think about was the sweet release of unconsciousness that sleep could provide when you heard the telltale jingle of the front door opening. Dragging yourself off the stool and to the front counter, you observed the new customer examining the display of small to medium sized plant pots on the shelves. There were no other shoppers in the store at the moment, leaving the sound of the radio playing quietly behind the counter and the static hum of an air purifier to envelope the room.

After another minute or so of perusing, the new customer made his way to the front counter, where you had occupied yourself with tidying up a few scattered ribbons from a previous arrangement. Looking up, you greeted him with a friendly “Good evening, what can I get for you tonight?”

The man had long black hair tied up in a half-bun, a calm but tired expression plastered across his face as he briefly glanced to the small trinkets on display on the counter before looking back at you.

“Just a simple bouquet, please.”

You couldn’t help but notice the fairly large scar under his right eye as he spoke. Must’ve been pretty painful, you thought before quickly responding.

“Alright, and do you have any preferences on flora type and size of the arrangement sir?” One thing you valued about your job was the reason why people came to make purchases. Although not seriously interested in relationships yourself, you still adored the thought of being able to have such a wholesome impact on something as innocent as love. For this reason you always maintained a bright personality when dealing with shoppers, hoping to convey without words how happy you were to support them in what many would deem a daunting endeavour.

“Just a small bouquet is fine, I trust you’d be better at choosing the flowers than me so you can decide what goes in it.” He gave a gentle smile and proceeded to wait as you typed in the order on the desktop.

“Okie dokie, it’ll take me about five minutes to put everything together. You can take a seat if you’d like or check out our catalogue for upcoming seasonal arrangements.” With that you politely excused yourself and headed towards the room in which all the live greenery was stationed, straw woven basket in hand. It was a space just towards the back of the shop, closed off with glass sliding doors to maintain the perfect temperature so as not to wilt the more delicate foliage.

Briefly glancing in the direction of the customer, you saw he had moved to sit down in the small waiting area, looking down at the phone in his hand. He wore a black long sleeve sweater with a white undershirt just barely peeking out at the collar, along with a pair of black, generally form fitting pants. He seemed to be quite stoic, with an almost practiced calm nature. You wondered what kind of person had woven their way into his heart without being deterred by such an intimidating initial appearance.

Returning to the task at hand, you began making an assortment of flowers with other smaller, complementary pieces of plant life. Delicately pulling each choice from their stand and placing them into the basket, you decided that the current selection should be satisfactory. Sliding open the doors of the greenery room, you made your way back to the front counter, setting the basket down next to the assembly station.

“Excuse me, sir? Could you please take a moment to look at the selections before I wrap them up?”

The man looked up from his phone, offering a quick “Of course,” before making his way in front of the work station where you were currently stood behind.

He momentarily looked over the array of flora, hands in his pockets, before lightly nodding. “That looks perfect to me.”

You smiled slightly more at the approval. “Great, now for the wrapping―is there a certain colour or material quality you had in mind. We also just added some new ribbons to our current selection if you’d like to take a look at that.”

“Unfortunately, my partner is the creative one in the relationship. So once again I’m going to need you to make that decision.”

You always enjoyed the challenge of adapting to these kinds of situations, putting something together based on little information. It always seemed to work out, so you had no objections with his request.

“No worries,” you began as you pulled out a sheet of paper, coloured with a soft muted yellow, overall bringing out the whites of the flowers “plenty of customers ask the same thing so I’d like to think by now I’m at least a little capable of making the right decisions.” As you worked with moving the greenery into place, he continued with the idle conversation.

“I’d imagine you do just fine, but I suppose we’ll see once I give it to them.” He let out a small huff, almost a chuckle as you proceeded to tie a thin white ribbon around the base of the bouquet a few times before pulling it into a bow.

“Well, nothing makes me happier than to see that I’m making people happy.” You pick up the bouquet and move to the register, ringing up the cost of the arrangement, the customer following suit. “So, if they enjoy it you’re more than welcome to stop by and let me know.” You sheepishly smile at him as he hands over the payment in cash.

“I’ll make a note of that, thank you.”

You glance at the clock on the wall, seeing you only had an hour left before your shift ends. Inwardly, you decide that you can handle a little more physical strain to use your quirk on the flowers. After all, this man had been kind enough not to be pushy like so many people had been with you today, and you even got to have complete freedom over the arrangement.

“I’m gonna grab some flower food in the back, I’ll just be a minute.”

He nods as you scoop up the bouquet in your arms, making your way through the large doors towards the back of the room.

You set the bouquet down on the workbench and bring your hands to hover just above the greenery. Concentrating, you will yourself to produce the remaining energy you can muster to treat the flowers. It takes a few seconds, but dimly your hands begin to emit a warm, yellow glow. You watch as the blooms become more vibrant, surging with life while other smaller plants become more plump, as if they had just been picked.

Satisfied with your work, with a new sense of exhaustion threatening to make you collapse if you're not careful, you return to the counter―of course not forgetting to grab the packet of flower food on the way there.

Handing over the bouquet, you offer a warm “Have a nice evening, sir.”

“You too.” He gives another quick smile, and with that he walked out of the boutique, flowers in hand.

―――

The rest of your shift went pretty smoothly, the last hour usually having the least amount of traffic. You only had to deal with one more rude customer, which you were grateful for. Even then you still forced yourself to use your quirk on their order, not being able to deny yourself the validation of good service.

By the time you clocked out it felt as if your limbs weighed a thousand pounds each. Fridays were always like this, and you dreaded it each week. However that still didn’t stop you from doing what you know best, regardless of the toll it was taking on your health.

A long time ago you decided that no matter what you wouldn’t work Saturdays due to a certain incident which involved you passing out in the back room, only for a coworker to find you thirty minutes later when an angry customer began repeatedly ringing the desk bell because there was nobody out front to assist them.

You thought back on that time as you walked home that night, however daydreaming only served to make you more delirious, causing you to trip over a rock and stumble a bit before finding your sense of balance.

Choosing to focus on your surroundings instead, you slowly made your way back to your apartment building. Although excruciatingly painful to do so, you heated up some leftovers and properly got ready for bed instead of opting to immediately crash onto your mattress.

Sleep came almost instantly, and you remained in your incapacitated state until 1 pm the next day.

―――

The weekend went as soon it came, and once again you found yourself back at the flower shop on Monday, tying the strings of your apron around your back. The days leading up to Friday were naturally not that busy, which you were thankful for. If they were you probably wouldn’t have enough energy by the time that nightmare of a weekday rolled around.

When the end of the week finally arrived, every part of your being desperately wished it didn’t. Thursday night had unfortunately zapped you of most of your your strength thanks to a serious incident with shipping.

On these nights the place where your boutique gets their plant life from sends in an extra shipment for what your coworkers had deemed “Flower Friday.” The normal stock would run out before the end of the night without it, so at the end of your shift you patiently awaited for the shipping truck to arrive.

However, once it did the driver and you made the realization that the shipment had taken heavy damage in transit thanks to improper packaging. Cursing inwardly, you still accepted the cargo, knowing you’d have to use your quirk to repair the foliage.

That was exactly what you did, leaving yourself utterly burnt out by the time all the damage was repaired, similar to how you would be by the end of those long Friday shifts.

But you were stubborn, and would not let a little fatigue when you got up the next day to get ready for work stop you. No, instead you dragged yourself out of bed, making a resolution to hold off on using your quirk with a few bouquets here and there to save your energy.

And yet, when the time came to add the finishing touches on each completed arrangement, you decided it was worth the suffering to see the pleased looks on your customer’s faces, and the ideas of how it’ll make their night just a tiny bit more perfect.

Now it was 8:30 pm, and you were fighting every excruciating urge to not black out where you sat, that being on the old wooden stool in the back room.

You almost didn’t register the sound of the front door bells rattling against each other as another customer made their way into the shop. Somehow you willed yourself out of the stool, swearing you saw black spots in front of your vision for a few seconds before arriving at the front counter.

You still genuinely wanted to be in good spirits for your customers, so you pulled a tired smile on your face and looked up to greet the customer.

“Good evening sir, what can I―,”

Stopping mid sentence, your brain processed your lagging thoughts for you to realize the shopper was the same man from last Friday who had been extremely relaxed with how you handled his purchase, much to your appreciation.

“Oh hey, you were here last Friday right? How did your partner find the bouquet?”

The voice you heard respond wasn’t from the person you had just addressed, but another man standing next to him. In your fatigued state it took you until that moment to process his presence. He had long blond hair pulled back into a bun, sporting a black leather jacket, loose white button up and black jeans. Adorned with an expensive looking watch, rings and a thin chain around his neck, the man spoke up.

“So you’re the pretty little songbird who put that sweet bouquet together? Well, his partner thought it was just rockin, ain’t that right Shouta?” He slung an arm around the shoulders of the man next to him.

Once again, your brain running on fumes caused severely delayed reactions, ending with you standing there trying to comprehend the playful compliment sent your way, and how this man was the partner in question for a few seconds. A faint blush appearing on your cheeks, you responded. “Ah yes, I suppose I am. I'm so glad to see you enjoyed it that much.”

The man who you now know to be named Shouta sighed slightly. “He insisted that I bring him here to meet you and get another bouquet. However I’m sure you’re exhausted after a long day so feel free to decline his request.”

To that you gave a lighthearted chuckle, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “As if I’d ever deny someone service after seeing how well it was received last time. What can I do for you sir?”

The blond maintained a grin, responding: “Well first you don’t gotta call me “sir” sunshine, Hizashi is just fine. Secondly, I thought I’d get my sweetheart here some flowers to return the favour.”

He’s probably just a naturally affectionate person, you thought to yourself in contemplation of his forward response.

“Sounds good, any preference on flora and arrangement size?” You pulled up the terminal on your desktop for filing orders while the blonde continued.

“How ‘bout you do what ya did last time and make whatever you want. Same size works too.”

You finish up with the order and close the terminal. “Alrighty then, it’ll take around five minutes to make selections so feel free to browse or take a seat in the waiting area.”

“Thanks angel.” Hizashi gave a small wink before occupying himself with a pamphlet on flower upkeep resting on the counter, bringing it back to the seating area.

Briefly glancing in Shouta’s direction, he gives an apologetic look, to which you return with a warm smile before grabbing your basket and heading to the greenery room.

Once inside you take a deep breath, not realizing how shallow your breathing had gotten. Don’t overthink it, don’t overthink it.

You were never one to be comfortable with receiving affection, something about it always making your heart race for no good reason. It was anxiety that you couldn’t seem to control no matter how long you spent trying to become stronger in these situations.

Moving on, you start selecting flowers here and there, opting for a darker colour scheme for Shouta, seeming as if he was a much more mellow person than his boyfriend who would appreciate something less flashy. You figured the classic rose would be a good option, choosing the blooms modified to have a much darker crimson colour than the natural type. Accenting it with small white flowers and leafy stems of greenery, you walked out of the room, satisfied with the variety.

Upon returning you see Shouta and Hizashi had already walked up to the assembly station, talking to themselves while they waited for you to return.

Coming up to your side of the counter, you set the basket of foliage down for them to examine. Despite your exhaustion that’s beginning to become quite alarming as you feel yourself repeatedly growing lightheaded, you eagerly await their reactions; specifically that of the man who’s supposed to receive the flowers.

“Exactly what I had in mind, well done (y/n).”

The use of your first name catches you off guard, having normally been referred to “miss” or the occasional rude “lady” by most of your customers. A confused look plasters across your face for a split second, only for your brain to finally register oh right, you're wearing a name tag, idiot.

“Lovely, I suppose I shouldn’t ask about wrapping either and just get started?”

“You know it songbird,” replied the blonde.

With that you started the assembly, turning around to the wall of wrapping to make a selection. You chose a transparent plastic, lightly tinted grey, with a black pattern of lace towards the bottom. Pairing it with a thin gold ribbon, you returned back around to lay out the materials.

“Honestly though, ya barely know Shouta but you still hit all the right notes with these. You’re pretty damn good at―wait, is that my radio show playing over those speakers?”

Stopping at the question, you look up before glancing behind you at the radio which was playing fairly quietly in the background. You remember hearing earlier that the show tonight was pre recorded because the host had some special plans tonight that he couldn’t miss. Which then led you to the understanding that oh god the host was here in your flower shop, and this was part of those unmissable plans.

Turning back to face the two men, the realization hit you like a ton of bricks, face draining of colour in the process. Standing in front of you was the pro hero himself, Present Mic, buying flowers for his boyfriend. Like a domino effect happening in your brain, this epiphany led you to connect that his boyfriend was the same man you’d seen quite a few times in the media alongside the voice hero, known as Eraserhead.

Now, you didn’t have a fear of pro heroes, because who would be afraid of such upstanding people, living their life only to protect others. No, what you did have a fear of was people who were in the slightest way intimidating. Call it social awkwardness or just another one of the many things that give you severe anxiety, but knowing how important these two men were in comparison to you nearly had you passing out right then and there.

But of course doing that would only make you feel worse, so instead you managed to steel yourself enough to stay conscious, which would hopefully last you until the end of this god forsaken Friday night.

“O-Oh, yeah it is actually. I like to keep it on Friday nights to combat the boredom when things start to slow down. It’s a really good show.”

Wait, should I tell them I know they’re pro heroes? Would that make it weird? Would it be weird not to say anything and lie about it?

Your thoughts ran at a million miles per minute while you attempted to control the fast paced thudding of your heartbeat. Why is this bothering me, it’s not like they’re not being friendly. Please just calm down.

As if sensing your growing uneasiness due to the silence, Shouta spoke up. “It’s nice to hear someone can stand his blaring.”

“Aw baby, don’t be like that.” Hizashi playfully nudges him while you resume your work, motioning to cut off the ribbon from the roll. He continues. “Well, in any case at least now I know I’ve got a cute lil’ fan listening in on my show every week.”

Awkwardly, you stammer out a quiet “N-no problem, I guess.”

Not fully paying attention to what you were doing anymore thanks to the uncontrollable swirl of thoughts muddling your brain, you manage to nick yourself on the scissors you were holding in an attempt to sever the ribbon from the roll. Drawing your hand back quickly from the blade, you observed a small bead of blood forming over the cut.

“Ah, dangit. Sorry about that, I’ll be right back…” Your sentence trails off as you turn and leave the two to tend to the cut when a hand wraps around your wrist, effectively spinning you back to face them. You let out a small yelp in shock, looking up wide eyed to see that Shouta had produced a thin container from his jacket, setting it on the counter. He proceeded to grab a tissue from the box laying askew next to a small display, before bunching it slightly and applying pressure to the wound.

“I apologize, it was our fault for distracting you from your work.” After a few more seconds of pressure, he releases your hand to open up the small container, pulling out a bandaid from it.

“Really, i-it’s not a big deal.” Somehow you manage to squeak out a few words of consolidation, feeling as if it was your fault to burden them by clumsily hurting yourself. Before you can manage to make any more protests, a pang of fatigue washes over you. Adrenaline, you presume, that had just faded after being startled by the cut and Shouta’s actions leaving your legs shaking weakly beneath you.

You gripped the edge of the counter for support with your uninjured hand, letting the erasure hero apply a bandaid over the cut.

“This idiot has a habit of rushing into fights without a plan, and naturally gets injured quite frequently.” He motioned to Hizashi with a nod in his direction. “It’s because of that I started keeping bandages on me at all times.”

The idle chit-chat helped calm your nerves, distracting you from what just happened. Unfortunately, it was obvious that at least physically there was something wrong.

“Ya doin’ alright there songbird. Lookin a lil’ faint…” Hizashi eyed your paled and slightly shaky form with worry.

“What? Oh, of course―it’s just been a really long night.” You chuckled dismissively as Shouta finished with the bandage, letting you resume your work.

This time you carefully handled the scissors, not getting too close to your fingers as you severed the ribbon.

“I mean no offense when I say this, but I have to agree with Hizashi. You look really exhausted, is this just from work?”

Your eyes flutter up to the two men, both awaiting a response with a mix of concern and something you couldn’t quite identify across their faces. Quickly looking back down in hopes of doing so lessening the growing anxiety building, you contemplate what to say next.

Do I tell them that I use my quirk at work? Would it make them stop worrying if I dismissed how dead I probably look? I don’t want to come off as someone who just complains all the time.

Finishing with the ribbon, you reply. “It’s just, you know...end of the week fatigue. Nothing to worry about.” You force a warm smile, hoping it convinces them as the obvious exhaustion in your voice surely wouldn’t.

Before the two can interrogate you any further, you dismiss yourself to the back room with the bouquet to retrieve a packet of flower food. Of course, your real intention is to utilize your quirk for what was hopefully the last time that night.

You stared at the bouquet laying in front of you on the workbench, hands lightly hovering over the blooms. With unconsciousness threatening your already weakened form so closely, you ponder for a moment if nurturing the greenery is really worth it, or even possible. They look healthy, and if it weren’t for your insanely high standards, nobody would likely bat an eye at the quality.

But alas, the desire to make people happy was much stronger than your concern for self-preservation, so you shoved any negative thoughts out of your mind and did your best to concentrate.

As usual on nights like these, it took a few seconds to activate your quirk, but soon enough the familiar glow began to emit from the palms of your hands. The rose petals took on a new sense of life with your help, even growing in size ever so slightly along with the other miscellaneous plants. Pleased, you finished up, letting your hands steady you against the table for a few seconds longer than normal.

Aside from the mildly increased shakiness in your legs, it seems your physique was otherwise the same as it was before you started. Grateful for this reality, you picked up the flowers and grabbed some flower food, making sure not to rush yourself on the way back for fear of tripping over your own two feet.

The two men were once again awaiting your return, this time at the cash.

Trying not to sigh too loudly while maintaining a polite smile, you handed the bouquet to Shouta and began to ring up the order on the register. Hizashi pulled out his wallet and handed over a cash payment. While you desperately tried to do mental math to give him back his change, the erasure hero spoke up.

“Listen (y/n), even though you might not admit it to us, I know burnout when I see it. You clearly take pride in your job but that doesn’t mean you can neglect your health like this.”

You froze in place at the sudden accusation, tonight will be the death of me. Handing the change to Hizashi, you acknowledged Shouta. “I really am fine, and I’m doing what I love so a little tiredness is worth the reward.”

Shouta simply sighs at this, letting his partner attempt to get through to you. “Okay sweetheart, but when ya look like you're about to pass out it worries us, ya know?”

“Well thanks for the compliment, but I have to insist. This is just more important than any unfortunate side effects of the job.” You blame it on the prolonged exposure to an extreme lack of energy, but you were starting to feel irritable at the display of troubled sentiments, or maybe it was more so an uneasiness at the blatancy of it. Either way, you were glad when they finally finished up with their purchase.

Maintaining eye contact that would send you crumpling if you looked any longer, Shouta made his peace with your resistance for now. “Fine. At least promise that you’ll go straight home when your shift ends. In your state doing more than necessary would just be irrational, not to mention how dangerous it can get around this time.”

Acknowledging the both of them, you spoke. “I will, I hope you enjoy the flowers.”

Dropping a bill you couldn’t quite distinguish into the tip jar, Hizashi flashed you a smile. “We ready to rock Shouta?” He was returned with a nod, and the two began moving towards the front door. Just before the two left, the blonde called out. “You take care of yourself, ‘kay?”

“Of course, Goodnight.” With a small wave to see them off, you finally were able to breath as the sound of the door shutting and the all too common static noise of the boutique filled the room, no other customers in sight.

Lifting your head to examine the clock hanging on the wall, you saw that it was already 8:50 pm. How on earth did it take me twenty minutes to do one order? They usually take me ten at the most. You took into account your less than ideal state, and the accident with the scissors, coming to the conclusion that those events along with the bits of conversation exchanged were more than enough to set you back.

Resolving that there weren’t going to be any customers later that night, as closing was at 9:00, you began cleaning up the shop.

You couldn’t exactly remember the time between cleaning and finally taking account of the money in the register along with tips, but at this point you didn’t care.

Emptying the jar onto the counter, you looked over the haul. Loose change mostly, a generous five dollar bill here and there and what is that.

Picking up a bill that by far stood out amongst the pile, you identified that it was worth one hundred dollars. You stared in disbelief for what felt like hours, but it was only about a minute, before returning it to the pile and adding up the total, putting the money away.

The delirious state that was only getting worse didn’t allow you to speculate who the extremely generous customer was. Rather, you finished up the final tasks to close up shop.

Finally hanging up your apron and pulling on your jacket and bag, you made your way out of the front entrance and locked the doors behind you.

#yandere bnha #yandere mha #yandere erasermic #yandere erasermic x reader #yandere shouta aizawa #yandere shouta aizawa x reader #yandere eraserhead #yandere eraserhead x reader #yandere aizawa #yandere hizashi yamada #yandere hizashi yamada x reader #yandere present mic #yandere present mic x reader #yandere bnha x reader #yandere mha x reader

1K notes · View notes

heliads · 4 years ago

Text

Untrustworthy

Your best friend, Stiles, warned you to stay away from Theo Raeken. It wasn’t your intention to ignore that advice, but will you regret it?

masterlist

“Look, he just doesn’t seem trustworthy. Something about him is very, very wrong.” You raise your eyebrows as your best friend Stiles paces back and forth in front of you, flinging his hands to the ceiling in an attempt to make you see his point of view. “Look at him! The guy exudes this aura of dishonesty! He’s practically holding up a sign that says ‘Don’t talk to me, I’ll kill all your friends and laugh over their bodies.”

Stiles points dramatically at the boy in question, who is currently sitting at a table in the library, quietly poring over a textbook. You look from Theo back to Stiles, who sighs. “You don’t seem very convinced.” You put a hand on Stiles’ shoulder, trying not to laugh. “Well, I certainly don’t see any “I’ll kill your friends” signs, but you never know.” Stiles rolls his eyes. “Okay, but I don’t want you going anywhere near him. I just don’t trust him.” As the bell rings overhead and you start moving towards your next class, Stiles blocks your path, forcing you to look him straight in the eyes.

“I’m serious, Y/N. I don’t trust him, and you’re a good friend of mine. I don’t want you getting hurt.” You smile at your friend, gently moving around him so you can go to class. “I’ll be fine, Stiles. Honestly.” With that, you walk out of the library, leaving Stiles shouting after you. “You better be!”

Next class is AP Biology, and you make your way to your usual seat, opening up your textbook to the proper place and glancing briefly at the board. Genetics- what’s not to love? Your focus on the lesson is broken when you see someone sit down next to you out of the corner of your eye. That’s weird- assigned seats have already been given out and there shouldn’t be anyone there. You suppose that’s why you’re not surprised to see that, of all the people, your new partner is none other than Theo Raeken.

You look at him doubtfully. “You know, I’m supposed to be avoiding you.” Theo just laughs. “Is that what Stiles said? For someone who was trying to be spying on me he was kind of shouting to the entire library about how untrustworthy I am.” You can’t help but grin. “You do realize he’ll kill me for being partners with you. He’s convinced you’re going to kill me if I even walk next to you.” Theo rolls his eyes and pulls out his textbook, opening it to the same chapter as you. “I guess the only thing you can do is not tell him.” You raise your eyebrows. “Keeping secrets from my friends? I thought you were supposed to be convincing me to trust you, not the other way around.” Suddenly, Theo leans over to you, close enough that you’re sure he can hear your heart starting to hammer in your chest. “I’m sure this one secret can’t hurt.”

Ever since that morning, you and Theo have grown very close. First, it was just as biology partners- despite you joking about it, Stiles seemed very sure that Theo was of questionable loyalty and you wanted to follow his advice. So, you refused Theo’s offers to hang out with him after class, and you quickly left your locker the second you saw him walking towards you down the hall.

However, you soon found out that it’s pretty hard to avoid growing close to Theo Raeken when not only he wants your friendship but you want it, too. You find yourself laughing at his jokes, and turning to him when you have a question as opposed to any of your other friends in class. Eventually, when he asks you for your number, you only give it to him with a smile instead of turning him down.

You still feel bad about going against Stiles’ advice, though, and you feel your guilt grow every time Theo’s hand strays for just a second too long and you don’t pull away, or when you don’t seem to have any objections to Theo walking you to your classes. When Theo asks you to a movie over the weekend, you agree, but you still feel bad about it. Maybe you don’t feel quite as bad when he kisses you goodbye, or when you wake up the next morning to him calling you “just to hear your voice.”

After you’ve been dating Theo in secret for a few weeks, you eventually confess that you’re guilty about misleading Stiles. “I know I can trust you, and I know you’re a good person. The problem is, Stiles doesn’t see it that way, and I feel bad every time he tells me to stay away from you.” Theo nods and holds you close, but you’re surprised when you see Theo talking to Stiles alone after school that day. When you walk over to them, making sure to keep out of their sight, you realize that they’re talking about you.

“I need you to believe me, Stiles. I’m not going to hurt Y/N.” Stiles grumbles at Theo’s voice. “Why should I trust you? I know something’s not right, no matter how much you pretend otherwise. Y/N is a good friend of mine, and it’s up to me to make sure that she stays safe. That involves you staying away from her.” Your heart is in your throat. “However, I’m not blind. I can see that she’s happier with you. Just know this: if you do anything to hurt her, I will kill you myself.”

With that, Stiles walks away, leaving you to run over to Theo in excitement. “Did I hear that right? Is he really going to let you-” You’re cut off by Theo kissing you. “Yeah, he’s okay with it. Didn’t I tell you?” You laugh at that, and let Theo walk you to your car.

Now that you don’t have to feel bad about seeing Theo, you feel happier than you have in a long time. Theo becomes a shield against everything bad that seems to be happening, which is good, because the Dread Doctors seem to be a worse foe than you and your friends have faced in a while. When Scott gives you a copy of the book on the Dread Doctors, you’re horrified by memories brought on by reading the pages. When you finally surface from the dark times of your past, Theo is holding you, gently wiping away your tears. “It’s alright, Y/N. You’re with me now. I promise, no one is going to hurt you ever again.”

And you had believed him. It seemed like it was true, after all- every time the Dread Doctors showed up, he was there to protect you. Every time you needed someone, he was there. You let yourself open up to him, and you loved him.

Now, he stands in front of you, claws dripping scarlet. The blood is starting to pool around Scott’s body, but all you can seem to do is just stand there.

“I believed in you. I trusted you.” That’s all you can say, barely two sentences. It takes everything you have to gasp out those words, but you still watch Theo wince just the same. He starts to take a slow step towards you, but you draw back in fear. “Don’t come near me.” You hold up your hands in front of you, and Theo stops moving. “I never wanted to hurt you, Y/N. This was the only way.” Theo’s trying to explain himself now, but it doesn’t matter. You raise your voice and call out to Mason and Melissa, who are somewhere behind you. “He’s in here!”

At the sound of footsteps rapidly approaching, Theo takes one last look at you, and then drags himself away to leave just as Melissa enters the library. Her scream at the sight of her son is just how you feel, left alone with your broken heart.

You find yourself sitting alone in your house that night. You can’t bring yourself to call your friends, or do anything except sit there. Once it was clear that Melissa had saved Scott’s life and that he was going to be alright, you had apologized over and over. Your friends said it wasn’t your fault, that you had no way of knowing that Theo was going to betray you, but yet you know it isn’t true. Stiles had warned you all those weeks ago, and you should have listened to him. You let Theo get close to you and the pack, you had convinced Stiles that he could be trusted, and now your friend had died. You knew the plan- pretend Scott was dead to fool Theo into thinking he had won, but it didn’t matter. You weren’t going to be seeking Theo out any time soon.

However, it seems like you don’t really have a choice in the matter. You’re distracted from your reverie by a knock at the door, and you force yourself to stand up and answer it. The second you open the door and see who’s there, you try to slam the door closed, but Theo’s already put his hand out to stop it.

“Please, Y/N. I need to talk to you.” You look at him, feeling nothing except heartbreak. “Why should I talk to you?” Theo forces the door open and lets himself in. All you can do is stare at the boy you once loved, now only a few feet away. “I love you, Y/N. That never changed. The Dread Doctors-” You cut him off angrily. “Forget the Dread Doctors! This was all you. You know, you really had me convinced. You promised me that you loved me, and that you would never hurt me. Did you think killing my friend wouldn’t hurt me? When were you going to kill me, too?”

Theo flinches at your harsh tone. “I would never hurt you, Y/N. No matter what, I never would. The Dread Doctors promised me that if I killed Scott, they wouldn’t come after you. I would do anything to protect you.” You shake your head, feeling tears threaten to come but doing your best to hold them back. “Don’t put this on me! I loved you. I told myself that I could trust you. After all this, though, I wish I could have told myself to never get close to you. I wish I could have saved myself the trouble.”

Theo moves closer to you, silently begging you to understand him. “Y/N, please. I need you to know that I regretted everything I’d done the second I fell in love with you. This seemed like the only way out, and so I took it. I wish I never was associated with the Dread Doctors, that I could be the person you want me to be, but I’m not.” You nod in agreement, and Theo starts to look hopeful. “You know, you’re right.” Theo looks up at you, realizing what you’re saying. “I wish you weren’t the first chimera, I wish you weren’t the boy that broke my heart and promised me love and safety when he couldn’t give them to me. The only thing I can do to save myself now is to make sure you never hurt me again.”

Something in Theo’s eyes shatters, and you force yourself to look away from him and push him out the door. “Stay away from me, you hear? Don’t ever come back.” Theo isn’t fighting you to open the door anymore, and something about that breaks your heart. “I have always loved you, Y/N. That will never change.” Theo speaks the one last time before you close the door. Through the window, you see him press one hand to the door, tears starting to slip down his cheeks. He says something you can’t quite make out, then turns and walks away slowly.

Once he’s gone, you slump down to the floor, finally letting out the tears you’ve been holding back. Was it worth it to protect yourself? Is it worth it to know that the boy you love is gone, after you pushed him away? You know he betrayed you, and you know he is responsible for the death of his friend, and yet the one last thing tucked away in the damaged shards of your heart is the fact that even those crimes still don’t feel like enough to let him go.

#teen wolf #theo raeken #theo raeken imagine #theo raeken x reader #theo raeken imagines #teen wolf imagine #teen wolf x reader #teen wolf imagines #teen wolf theo

132 notes · View notes

faulty-writes · 4 years ago

Text

[ Happy Holidays! This piece was made for the FYEAHBNHA Secret Santa Event. I was assigned the lovely @erascrhead for my secret santa. So, that being said. I hope you enjoy this piece. I tried to make it fluffy and romantic. ]

[ Upon entering his third year at UA, Tenya begins to wonder about his future and comes to the conclusion it’s not complete without you. Given you had been dating Tenya for a long while, that doesn’t shake his fear of losing you. All it would take is one simple question to ensure that wouldn’t happen. ]

Tenya felt his throat tighten as he looked at you, his breath evaporating into the cold winter air. Light snowflakes fell from the sky which dusted the ground and powdered the surrounding trees in white. He was wearing an oversized blue sweater, which matched with the light blue scarf that was currently wrapped around his neck. He was also wearing a pair of earmuffs and his glasses were resting on the lower bridge of his nose which was tinted red.

The lenses were slightly fogged up and his cheeks were flushed. He tightened his grip on the styrofoam cups he was currently holding, feeling the warmth of each one against his palms. He had informed you to sit on a nearby bench while he got the hot chocolate and was thankful a street light illuminated the area. Not many others were out, but you saw a few couples pass by as you waited for Tenya. Maybe it was a romantic night, you certainly felt some type of positive tension in the air.

Tenya’s footsteps echoed as he approached you and a smile was present on his face. He noticed your reddened nose and admired the way the snowflakes stuck to your hair. As your significant other, he took pride in observing every last detail about you. Perhaps that was strange, but he could not help it. He felt as though it was his duty to provide you with such attention. You were by far the most important person in his life, given he foolishly took too long to see that.

It was due to his own insecurities and slight paranoia regarding your feelings for him. He declined your invitation to "go out" several times until his closest friends. Izuku, Uraraka, and Shoto argued him down. He recalled how sincere of an apology he gave after your first date ended and he found himself completely taken with you. Somehow, you stole his heart away and he vowed to treasure you from that day on. For your love was a privilege he felt as though he did not deserve.

Yet, he would never let go. For without your love, he was nothing. Not a man, not a hero. Only a foolish powerless human who allowed a diamond to slip through their fingers. You were absolutely everything to him. His life, his love, and his future. He knew he needed to treat you with the utmost care, which is why he took it upon himself to ask you on this date. From your past experiences with Tenya, you knew he put an immense amount of thought into dates.

Whether they were simple, elegant, or something in between. This happened to be a simple date, despite the bitter cold. “Here you are,” he said as he took the seat next to you and felt his heart skip a beat when you smiled at him. Over the past two years, your relationship had grown. Quite beautifully if Tenya was being honest, however, he had been preoccupied with thinking what would occur after the two of you graduated.

The next logical step was to allow his Pro Hero career to bloom, one of his goals, in particular, was to become the next leader of the Idaten Agency. Just as his older brother, Tensei was. However, he also wanted to ensure that he wouldn’t lose you. He understood following your dreams and accomplishing great things. But, he didn’t want separate paths to end his relationship with you and had come up with a rather desperate solution. Well, perhaps desperate wasn’t the correct word.

But regardless, he hoped your answer would be yes. “Thank you, Tenya,” you reached over, carefully taking the hot chocolate from him. Sighing in content before blowing on it. You then carefully tried to take a sip. “Ah!” given you should have known better, you stuck your tongue out. Feeling a slight burning pain on the tip of it, “Hm? Are you alright, my love?” Tenya questioned, but you heard the slight chuckle he gave as you shook your head. “I bubrt by bongue,” you said, trying to ignore the way the snowflakes continued to fall.

One or two managed to stick to your tongue, however, they quickly melted. Tenya placed his hot chocolate next to him on the bench and reached over to cup your face. You got lost in his eyes for a moment, they always seemed to be filled with kindness and a sense of home. Deep down you knew you loved Tenya, though like most. You also feared that you weren’t good enough for him or that he’d find someone better. But, you also knew that was foolish.

Tenya was a gentleman and it was highly unlikely he’d break the promises he made to you, which revolved around always loving you and putting your happiness first. Taking how self-disciplined he was into account, you believed him. Though that didn’t stop your self doubts, still you reached up and laid your hand over one of his. You knew to most this looked ridiculous. Nothing more than two teenagers in love, but it was the kind of love you’d never trade.

“Allow me to heal your injured tongue,” he teased as he leaned forward, “Mm,” your breath hitched when he brushed his tongue against yours and slowly pressed your lips together. Tenya was always passionate about such things, the only difference was that he did not ask for consent. At the beginning of your relationship, everything always seemed to be a question. He even asked permission to hold your hand which in a way was sweet.

Still, you were happier now that he took the initiative, and yet, he was still a tad cautious. Tenya kept a secure hold on your face and you slowly melted into the kiss. You reached up and ran your free hand over his shoulder before threading it through the back of his hair. You were a little thankful Tenya had grown his hair out, though you did like the texture of his undercut. It was much more fun taking a handful and tugging it, at times Tenya shared his dislike toward such action.

But that never stopped you from continuing to do it. A shiver ran through you as Tenya’s hands lowered, running over your neck before he pulled away from the kiss. You could feel the cold air against your moist lips and momentarily turned your head when you noticed the snow was coming down harder. Tenya’s hands left your person and he too, glanced up, “I suppose we should leave soon, I hope you are not too cold. Please, allow me to keep you warm,” Tenya insisted as he inched closer, you could feel his thigh press against yours and a comforting arm wrap around your shoulders.

You smiled and took a sip of your hot chocolate, luckily it didn’t burn your tongue this time. Still, you leaned close and nuzzled your head against Tenya’s chest, you could feel the tip of his nose bury itself into your hair. Tenya loved your scent, it brought him a sense of comfort. However, his thoughts were broken when he heard you sniffle and you reached up to wipe your nose. Tenya’s posture stiffened, "My love, do...do you require a tissue?" he knew it would be rude to state such out loud, but he'd rather not have any bodily fluids including mucus on his person.

Then again, perhaps it was his fault. He felt somewhat guilty convincing you to go for a walk in the cold. Despite that, he thought it would make a wonderful set up for him to pop the question. You sniffled and shook your head. "No...I'm fine, Tenya. Thank you, my nose is just running from the cold. I'm sure the hot chocolate will fix it," you took another sip, finding it rather soothing as it landed in your stomach. Giving you a warm fuzzy feeling but that could also be caused by being so close to Tenya.

“Ah, I see. If that is the case, I trust you are comfortable,” he said, gently running his hand up and down your back. “I am,” you couldn’t help but chuckle, once more you were reminded how much Tenya cared about your well-being. “You don’t have to ask that you know,” then again Tenya always seemed to be asking some type of question. At times it could get annoying, but you knew he meant well. “Apologies, I do not wish to be so repetitive in my endeavors,” he replied and you tilted your head, a pout present on your face.

“Tenya even if you repeat yourself from time to time, it isn’t annoying or anything. Yeah, you ask a lot of questions. But, that’s what I love about you. Always asking questions, seeking knowledge, always concerned about my well-being. You’re so sweet,” you said with a somewhat dreamy expression as you looked into his eyes. His glasses had a few flakes stuck to them, which was an adorable sight. You smiled and leaned forward, pecking those soft lips of his.

“I love you, Tenya,” you spoke softly, enjoying the way your frosty breath evaporated into the air along with Tenya’s. He reached over, allowing his hand to brush through your hair before delicately cupping the side of your cheek. “I love you too, Y/n,” he spoke sincerely before glancing to the side, something you found odd considering Tenya always looked people in the eye when speaking to them.

He was very well trained in manners and it was attractive, but his sudden odd behavior? Not so much. “Is something wrong?” you questioned, pressing your hand against his chest as you leaned away from him. Tenya was still glancing away and you frowned before placing your hot chocolate on the ground by your feet. You gasped when Tenya grabbed your free hand, his touch was urgent and judging by the pressure he applied. You knew something was either wrong or he needed to tell you something.

Either way, his sudden action made you jump. “Tenya?” you leaned back up, your eyebrows lowered in concern as you looked at him. He turned his body to better face you and reached up, clasping his other hand over yours. This concerned you all the more and you shifted your eyes to your now sandwiched hand before looking at Tenya once more.

“Y/n, I must confess there has been a lingering question preoccupying my mind,” your heart sank with fear when you heard those words, the first thought that came to mind was the possibility of Tenya asking if you were truly happy in your relationship or something relating to the two of you going your separate ways. The thought of losing Tenya was terrifying and you opened your mouth to speak but he quickly pressed a finger to your lips.

That did nothing for your fear which only increased when you saw the serious expression on his face. A lump formed in your throat as he lowered his finger. “I...have been lost in finding the courage to ask you, but as a hero. I know I must push fear aside and embrace the consequences of doing so,” you raised your eyebrow, “W-What?” Tenya glanced down and you took notice of how he latched onto his bottom lip.

Yet another uncharacteristic trait, “Tenya...what’s going on?” you reached back, holding onto the bench with your free hand. Effectively creating distance between Tenya and yourself. However, he still had hold of your other hand. “Please, do not be afraid. I didn't mean to scare you, I...must confess I am feeling rather nervous myself,” he explained which further confused you. “Tenya I don’t understand,” you said as you shook your head, “What is this question, and what’s going on with you?” Tenya chuckled and you felt a tinge of anger fill you, what was so humorous about this situation?

“Perhaps I will better explain myself this way,” he glanced down, taking note of the snow that covered the ground. It looked to be about an inch thick and Tenya reached up to remove his scarf. He then folded it in half twice and placed it on the ground in front of you. “Uh…” your eyes widened as he then used his scarf as a cushion to kneel in front of you and the sight alone was incredible. Especially the snowflakes that peppered his hair and stuck to his delicate eyelashes.

His cheeks were still colored red and you watched his breath continue to evaporate as he spoke, “Y/n, my love. I am quite aware I may be doing this in an untraditional manner. However, I am most certain you know of my feelings for you,” he said as he reached out to take your hand again, you glanced down and threaded your fingers together. You then shifted your gaze back to him.

“You are my most treasured above all, I hold you in such high regard. I only wish to protect and love you with all that I am capable of. I wish to be the ideal image of a strong male whom you can rely on and know you have made the correct choice in spending your life with,” you held your breath, your gaze shifting from his face to that hand that slipped inside his pocket.

“I have been thinking about the events that will take place after we graduate and proceed to follow our dreams to become Pro Heroes. However, I am afraid I cannot accept my future beyond graduation if you are not a part of it. Forgive my selfishness, but I want you with me always,” you gasped as he pulled out a small blue box, “Tenya,” you whispered his name as your attention focused on the box and that silver ring that rested inside.

It almost seemed as though the falling snow made it sparkle, “Whether my hero career blooms to allow fame and fortune or backfires into dust, I do not care. As long as you are by my side, for the lingering question plaguing my mind is...would you do me the honor of taking my hand in marriage?” you swallowed and the cold air irritated your moist eyes.

You knew others might view this as a mistake, getting engaged during your third year. You hadn't expected this, but Tenya was proving he could still be full of surprises. Your mind was racing, still trying to process Tenya's question. He truly wanted to marry you and had already put an immense amount of thought into the decision. Part of you wondered if he was asking because he was too afraid of losing you. Given you would never stray and it's not as though you'd be getting married right away.

Although, marrying him and becoming a part of the Iida family would be a dream come true. Though you were a little worried about living up to the proud lineage Tenya always spoke about. But, you had met his mother countless times. His brother, Tensei as well. They were welcoming and even if they disapproved of you, it was highly unlikely Tenya would end your relationship. You watched Tenya’s expression drop and realized you had been quiet. "I-I’m sorry, I was thinking…" you said, slightly embarrassed that you had let your thoughts consume you.

"Thinking...?" Tenya repeated as his chest tighten. He was afraid this would happen, perhaps he came off too strong. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to-'' you held your hands up, "No!" you exclaimed before realizing you had raised your voice. "Sorry, I...Tenya…" you squeezed his hand, despite your fingers being numb from the cold, "Yes, I'll marry you,” a cry left his lips when you tackled him, luckily Tenya’s reflexes were fast and he quickly reached behind him.

His hand slipped some as he pressed it against the snowy ground. “My love, please be careful! I do not wish for you to get hurt. The snow is-'' you laughed and wrapped your arms around his neck, effectively silencing him with your lips. His words became muffled and you could feel his glasses being pushed up. The cold metal frame pressed against your cheek and you pulled away with a soft pant. Keeping one hand on Tenya’s cheek which felt warm due to your actions, it was almost adorable how easily flushed he became.

“Quite the troublemaker, aren’t you?” he chuckled before standing on his feet once more. “Be careful,” he warned, he kept a secure hold on your hand as he helped you up. “There, now I believe it’s not a proper agreement until I place the ring onto your finger,” you reached up to wipe your eyes before Tenya took your hand, it was no surprise he knew the correct ring size. It slipped over your finger with ease and you took a moment to admire the way it shined before looking back to Tenya.

You smiled and placed your hands on his shoulders, “Thank you, Tenya,” you said and he shook his head. “You do not have to thank me,” he replied and slowly tilted his head up. Watching the snow continue to fall. “Perhaps we should return to the dormitory and share the good news with our dear friends,” he suggested as he reached up to adjust his glasses. His arms found their way around your waist and silence filled the air as you two stood there surrounded by snow. A sigh then escaped Tenya which caught your attention, “Hm?” you blinked as he lowered his head and reached to grab your hands.

“I do hope you aren’t too cold,” he said before looking past you, he dropped your hands and walked over to the bench. You watched as he leaned over to grab your cup of hot chocolate. “I do not wish for you to waste it,” he said and you lightly chuckled as you took the cup. Noticing how luke-warm it was, though it made sense considering it was covered in a thin layer of snow. He reached over to take his hot chocolate as well, though he had yet to take a sip from it. Your heart was still racing as Tenya walked back over to you and took your hand once more.

You wondered if you’d get used to the added weight of the ring. “How do you think the others will react?” you questioned and Tenya took a moment to answer, “I am almost certain they will support us, however, if they disagree with our decision. It will not shake or dismiss my choice,” he said and you couldn’t help but chuckle at the serious tone of his voice. It made your heart soar knowing the lengths Tenya would go for you. When he began to walk, you quickly followed his lead.

“Oh, wait!” you suddenly cried out and pulled your hand away from his. He looked concerned for a moment as you ran back to the bench and leaned over to pick something off the ground. “You forgot your scarf,” you pointed out as you held it flat in your palm, Tenya’s eyes widened. It wasn’t like him to forget...well anything, but the positive response from you had caused his mind to slip. “Ah, yes. Thank you, I believe I will be needing this,” he took it, though he didn’t wrap it around his neck.

More than likely because it had been on the ground and was therefore considered dirty. He smiled as he reached up to cup your cheek, brushing it with his thumb. “What would I do without you,” he stepped closer, his eyes tracing your face before settling on your lips and he slowly bent down. You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck. Sighing in content when your fiance’s lips pressed against yours.

#fyeahbnhasecretsanta #tenya x reader #iida x reader #bnha reader insert

96 notes · View notes

kingofthewilderwest · 4 years ago

Note

What's amatonormativity??

I’d encourage you to go to Google or check out tumblr tags and posts on amatonormativity to learn more!

Amatonormativity is the internalized cultural mindset that romance is default and central. It especially conceives of romance as the single most important relationship in someone’s life, to the point it should be focused upon and sought out above any other bond. It treats romance like the universal ultimate solution to any of our emotional bond problems (loneliness, intimacy, trust, support, longevity of relationships, etc.). Amatonormativity is heavily ingrained in many societies, like the mindset I find in people in the United States.

Of course romance isn’t a bad life experience! For many people, it can bring great joy. When people criticize amatonormativity, people aren’t criticizing that romance can be a great thing in someone’s life. The problem with amatonormativity is that it treats romance as the ULTIMATE thing, the ONE solution to our need for emotional fulfillment.

It’s important to understand that amatonormativity has profound negative side effects, whether you’re allo or aro, whether you’re queer or straight, and whatever gender you are. Society takes a lot of things for granted regarding romance and this can stunt our happiness. It stunts our ability to bond with other people around us or find satisfaction within our lives.

Amatonormativity underlies emotionally stunting assumptions like..... (disclaimer... I will often use language defaulting to the Western cishet perspective, because that’s the mindset of my broader society... I myself am an aroace enby and have more nuanced understandings of gender, gender expression, gender roles, sexual attraction and identity, romantic attraction and identity, etc.)

Automatically assuming that just because a man talks to a woman, the interaction MUST be romantic in nature (this of course intertwines with heteronormativity -- many of my points will intertwine with heteronormativity). It assumes there’s no such thing as “just friends” between people of “opposite” genders. This in turn can result in us losing opportunities to bond to, understand, or properly respect... literally half the human population.

Treating friendships as secondary. Treating friendships as temporary. Treating friendships as more replaceable than romance. Treating friendships as less “deep” and important to our time than romance, even a romance you started two days ago with someone you met last week. By doing this, we lose the chance to grow deeper with someone near us. It limits the potential by which we can bond with another human soul and find happiness.

The belief we are unlovable and not worth anything because we can’t find a romantic partner. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen people disregard their own worth because of this, and it makes me deeply sad. The truth is that our worth is not at all tied to whether we have a romantic partner. We can be so deeply loved and cherished in all sorts of relationships. Of course it’s still valid if you feel single blues because you want a romantic partner, but tying the concept into “I am worthless OR I’m dating” clearly is an emotionally harmful concept. It can result in everything down to hooking up in a relationship that you aren’t ready for or don’t like as much as you pretend you do.

The belief that we are utterly alone without a romantic partner. I notice this often ties into the amatonormative belief that we can only get good physical touch, trust, emotional and physical intimacy, etc. through a romantic partner. I feel this mindset is especially pronounced in cishet men, since USA culture treats masculinity as lacking outwardly expressed vulnerability, and ergo you might not be getting your emotional needs met through your platonic and familial relations. The one “accepted” way of getting your emotional needs met comes through The Girlfriend / Wife. This belief prevents us from reaching out and finding support through other people in our lives. We can find love and comfort in friends. We can confide about our emotional struggles and find relational intimacy (great trust!) through familial and platonic bonds. Hugs, snuggling, other acts of physical affection are what humans need, and don’t need to be relegated to One Person Only. Plus... if we assume that our emotional struggles should be fulfilled by One Person Only... that puts enormous pressure on that partner to provide for everything. No one’s that strong. We need support networks, not one designated “save me” individual. It’s pure unhealthiness to mount burdens only on one person, and bottle yourself up otherwise. I often see this fallacy pop up when people start a new romantic relationship. You might barely know the person, and yet you’re trying to rely on them for everything, and you’re trying to be the person they’ll rely on for everything. You dive deep into the expectations before you really know how to handle it, and in the process become psychologically overwhelmed because of the Huge Responsibilities this role seems to entail. Being in a romance doesn’t automatically mean you’ve reached peak intimacy! Note: it’s not to say that romance can’t be a major avenue of security. Of course it’s a great way to fulfill intimacy, trust, physical needs, etc. Of course it can become a bond full of loyalty. But romance is actually like any other relationship... a familial relation can be weak or it can be strong, a platonic relation can be weak or it can be strong, and a romantic bond can be weak or it can be strong. The fallacy is that we are treating romance as *THE* way to fulfill all these diverse emotional problems, socking it onto one individual when it might be beyond their single load to bear, and then not seeking out help from the other sources that are around us.

The belief that the only person you can live with is a romantic partner. Living with non-romantic roommates (aka living with friends) is seen as an undesirable inconvenience and something you only do temporarily because you financially have to. It’s seen as an immature youthful thing rather than something an established adult might do. Living with friends long-term out of chosen happiness is not something that crosses the mind of many people... it’s assumed you’ll either move out to live on your own, or marry and go and live with your partner.

The belief that adulthood progresses through a very specific sequence of events. You go to school. You leave on your own. You marry. You get a house. You have kids. There’s a reason it’s common for family to nag you “When are you going to get married? When are you going to get married?” Because clearly you haven’t made an important step of adulthood, an important step in life, unless you get married. I’ve noticed that for many of my friends, even those who are comfortable with the life choice to not get married... they express they don’t feel “as adult” as their married peers. And many people in society won’t treat them “as adult.”

Harmful beliefs downplaying spousal abuse, like those people who try to argue “you can’t rape your wife / husband / spouse / girlfriend / boyfriend / significant enby / significant dumbass. That’s not what rape means.” Because a sexual-romance is the GOOD thing, right?

AND MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE!!!

Some people of course have a better handle on their relationships than others. Some people are better at ignoring what society considers most important or most default. Some of what I’ve said above is when these beliefs are treated to their utmost, rather than what some people will do (lots of people have close “besties”, for instance). But amatonormativity+heteronormativity creeps in everywhere in society.

It’s the reason why, in most Hollywood movies, the protagonist is a man and the main actress is his romantic partner. It’s the reason why these two characters might start a steamy romance even before they know each other well; who needs to write ACTUAL understanding between the two characters when they obviously are going to fall in love and fuck?

It’s the reason why advertisements are so sex-oriented (reminder note: society usually doesn’t distinguish sexual and romantic bonds). Advertisements try to make their product appealing by associating it to romance, the Ultimate Desirable. Here’s how to make you look hot so you can attract someone in a romantic-sexual relationship, because THAT’S the ultimate goal of life, right?

It’s embedded in linguistic expressions. If someone asks if you’re dating, you respond, “No, she’s only a friend.” Or. “No. We’re just friends.” Friendship is being treated as lesser. Breakups are treated as inevitably bad even if you choose to be friends afterwards -- because clearly being friends is “taking a step back”, right? Even the word “break up” -- oooo that’s bad sounding! (There have been multiple times I’ve ended romantic relationships where I’ve turned the phraseology on the head and told them it’s a step forward to better, happier, healthier, stronger bonds... and they had to think it through, because amatonormative society forgets this can be the case.) “Friendzoning” is seen as a crime in part because you’re not going to be as intimate with someone as you want to be... despite the fact that having a non-romantic and/or non-sexual relationship with someone could be JUST as meaningful and deep!

I’ve FREQUENTLY seen church study groups that offer only these options: young adult small groups, women’s small groups, men’s small groups, and married couple’s small groups. Because clearly the only “mixed” gender situations out there are when you’re too young to be married, or you’re married.

And frankly, I think it’s one of the reasons why fandom likes to play hook-up with all the characters. Shipping is SO much fun! I love shipping! This is not a comment against the act of shipping! But if everyone needs a romantic partner to be happy...... mmmmm.... yeah let’s rethink what the underlying assumption is here. It’s that default assumption that “romance=happiness, romance=ultimate goal, romance=happily ever after, friendship=lesser.” If two characters in a show don’t canonically hook up, fans can get angry... even if the relationship showed on screen is one with a lot of trust, loyalty, happiness, and intimacy.

I am aroace. I don’t know how many other friends in the aro and/or ace community have talked about how lonely and unhappy they feel, because all their friends around them are looking for sex and romance and ergo don’t treat their friendship deep enough for my friends to get their emotional needs met. It’s easy to feel left out in a world where everyone is looking for romance, and ergo you are never the bond they want to pursue.

There are many ways in which we can achieve close bonds with people. This is why I think it’s important to talk about amatonormativity. Again, I’m SO happy when my friends are happy in a good romance. That’s a good thing!!! But it’s so psychologically destructive, whether you’re aro or allo, to live in a world where romance is considered The One And Only Key to relational happiness.

Talking about amatonormativity has the goal of helping us be aware about how society idolizes romance and/or sex. The goal is to help everyone know we have many options by which to pursue good, deep bonds in a variety of ways. The goal is to make sure we don’t treat romance as the only acceptable way to live. The goal is finding ways for humans to get our needs fulfilled healthily and widespreadly. The goal is to be more comfortable with and more accepting of people who don’t follow The One Righteous Path Of Required Romance, so that we can all be more comfortable with ourselves and the relations around us -- including being comfortable with our romances!

#long post #amatonormativity #heteronormativity #analysis #my analysis #ask #ask me #non-dragons #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #queer community #aroace #awesome anonymous friend #Anonymous

216 notes · View notes

luccislegs · 5 years ago

Note

Do you have any nsfw/sfw headcanons for Katakuri, Shanks and Mihawk?

rises from the dead like the terrible admin i am i’m forgot to post lmao my b. no but seriously, just been really tired so. uh, smut under the cut.

general:

katakuri:

Katakuri isn’t openly affectionate at first. It takes him a while to really start displaying any physical affection. But he’s a very good listener. He even enjoys it if, while he’s doing paperwork or whatever, you come in and chat. He finds it a nice break in the tedium of running his mother’s empire.

After a while of being together, whether it’s an arranged, rushed marriage or you have time to get to know one another, he mellows out. He’s still a bit reserved about open affection in front of his siblings, since he does have a “reputation” to keep, but he isn’t going to actually complain if you crawl into his lap during a Tea Party or take his hand while you’re out strolling. And if you’re far too small to hold his hand, expect to be perched on his shoulder so the two of you can chat or even curled up under his scarf, if you can fit. He might be shy, but it reminds him that you aren’t ashamed to be with him.

That being said, he makes up for his aloofness in public thoroughly in private. There’s a whole section of his home on Komugi Island that he allows only a few, extremely well-trusted people in, and there he shows his true character. Even if he’s only been gone a few hours or he’s seen you multiple times throughout the day, he’ll collapse into your arms, using your chest as a pillow and allowing you to run your fingers through his hair as you chat quietly.

He’s not big on grand gestures, but he’ll bring you home small gifts that catch his eye or have his bakers deliver something to you during the day, just to show you he’s thinking of you.

Obviously he’s pretty shy about his scars and his teeth, and he’s very sensitive about them. But the first time you see his face, he absolutely melts when you run your fingers over the former, trailing kisses down them. It bolsters his confidence a lot and you quickly learn he enjoys it when you caress his cheeks.

mihawk:

Like Katakuri, he’s not very openly affectionate, and even when he starts to display his affections, they’re very classy and reserved. Even in private, he can come off as cold. But he also isn’t going to push you away if you try to get some attention. Curling up in his lap while he’s reading a book or just hugging him from behind while he’s cooking will get you a soft chuckle and the question, ��Are you feeling needy, my dear?” He knows he’s not the most open person, so he allows you those small things if you need them.

Sometimes, if he’s going to a warlord meeting and/or just out because he’s “bored,” he’ll bring you along. It’s actually really nice, just the two of you on the sea. Something about it makes him more open, and he’ll bring you to sit in his lap while the waves lap at the edges of the boat. During fights, if he decides to divulge, he’ll make sure you’re well protected, but knows you enjoy watching him in action. He’ll never admit it, but from time to time he really does get into fights just for that reason.

He’s really not about bringing home gifts. He’ll bring you small trinkets from time to time or maybe a new blanket if he’s really feeling it, but even if he’s been gone for days or weeks, he won’t generally bring you home gifts. That being said, he’s at his most voracious when he’s been gone from home for a while. It really shows how much he loves and misses you then.

shanks:

This man is a big flirt and a big cuddler. If he can do both, he’s even happier. As it is, he is always doing at least one or the other.

Tokens of affection from him come in the form of the most random shit imaginable. Sometimes it’s normal, like flowers or a cake from the local shop. Other times it’s a crossbow you can’t even lift or a bottle of some obscure alcohol he bought off a rando in an alley. Either way, he’s always very proud of his gifts, though he definitely gets certain things just to get a rise out of you.

His favorite thing to do-- and I say this loosely bc he doesn’t know it’s his favorite thing to do-- is get really drunk and seek you out. Oddly, he isn’t the type to get stupid drunk and just flirt with anyone. No, he’s the type of drunk that gets really, really clingy to his partner. If he can’t find you, he can and will sulk and pout until he either finds you or you find him. At that point, he’ll yell happily and tug you down into his lap and resume his casual drinking.

He doesn’t usually get hangovers. Being a professional drinker, he’s outgrown them for the most part. But when he does get them, he’s a baby about it and will whine if you get out of bed, even if it’s to get him aspirin and/or more alcohol (usually both). When you come back with it though, he’ll thank you happily and pull you down onto the bed again with one hand, already guzzling the drink down with the other.

smut:

katakuri:

He doesn’t have a lot of experience, but he does have some. Being so shy about his mouth and also as intimidating as he is doesn’t generate a lot of passion for him. So when you first sleep together, he’s naturally a little reserved. Constantly asking if you’re alright at the beginning. He’s worried about his size and his teeth hurting you so he’s slow and cautious. It ends up being you who has to push things further, riling him up until he stops worrying about your pain and starts worrying about your pleasure. Once he loses himself to it, he’s a very good lover.

Obviously he does still need to be careful about his teeth, especially when giving oral, so he takes that the slowest every time. It works out though, and he gets better at it over time. It’s also where he learns the joys or orgasm denial (which he’s really too sweet to use too much).

The positions you start out using are pretty vanilla until you open him up to the pleasures of quickie’s in his office, whether he’s got you bent over his desk or you’re riding him in his office chair, his large, gloved hands sliding up and down your thighs while he lets you do the work. You do have to work to coax him into it the first time because he’s worried about being caught, but after that it’s easy. Also Katakuri is probably a good candidate for cockwarming, especially in the office, once he gets over his nerves. When you crawl into his lap and slide him inside you, just sitting and teasing, talking, whatever you’re doing to him, he feels all his stress just fade into the background.

Food play. We all know it’s true and I should say it. He’s a bit hesitant at first but when he sees you covered in some of his favorite sweets one night when he comes home, he’s instantly hard. And don’t even get me started on eating a donut that’s around his --

He’s only really open to exploring kinks with a trusted partner, that being you. It’s only when you bring up trying out different things (food play, for example) in the bedroom that he starts to find out things he enjoys himself and asking if you would be willing to try.

mihawk:

Mihawk has a lot of experience. The man fucks and everybody knows it. Mostly it’s one night stands or short flings, until he meets a steady partner. Then all that experience really comes to the front.

Knows his kinks already. Knows what he likes and is actually really good at guessing what you’re into as well. His personal favorites are blindfolding and light bondage, usually tying his partner’s hands over their head and to the headboard.

Another big thing he likes is you wearing either one of his shirts or his hat, or both. Something about seeing you in the long white silk shirts makes him want to very slowly unbutton it while he leaves a trail of open mouth kisses down the newly exposed skin before sliding it slowly off your shoulders. There’s no excuse for the hat, it just makes him hard.

He’s very into exploring your kinks as well. He’s not a selfish lover by any means and so long as it doesn’t hurt you (too bad, at least) he’s willing to try them. If he doesn’t like them or he’s uncomfortable with them then he’ll tell you, but he isn’t going to deny you, he’ll just request to do them less.

He mainly likes making love in the bed, but if he’s up late or has just come home after being away, he won’t deny if you seek him out and ride him in his chair or he’ll just attack you wherever he finds you, pinning you to the wall and taking you roughly.

shanks:

Shanks is definitely the most open out of all three of them. He’s a bubbly and goofy lover, prone to making jokes and being immature in the middle of sex and making you burst out laughing. Sex with him is an adventure in more ways than one.

I’m not saying Shanks has a voyeur kink, but I am saying Shanks does not mind being caught fucking. Not necessarily for his partner with another person (which he would totally be down for it’s just not his main). He really just doesn’t care who sees him. He’ll have sex with you on deck in full view of another ship or port, in an open window, or on the beach just outside the reach of the light of the bonfire while his crew continues to party. Fingering you underneath the table in whatever bar you happen to find yourself in that night is a common occurrence. He is also not above you blowing him under said table.

In terms of kinks (besides the one above), he’s very relaxed and is willing to do whatever whenever. He doesn’t have any specifics until he decides he wants sex and then it’s just whatever he’s feeling that day. If you have any you want to try, he’s probably already tried it at least once and will guide you through it. Is also suspiciously good at guessing what you would be into but when you point that out he just says it’s “experience.”

Honestly a big advocate for threesomes. If he can have one, he will and really needs a partner who’s okay with that. He isn’t necessarily noncommittal, but he does at least like threesomes when the ship stops in port somewhere and you kinda have to be okay with that otherwise it won’t work.

#charlotte katakuri #charlotte katakuri x reader #dracule mihawk #dracule mihawk x reader #red hair shanks #shanks x reader #one piece headcanons

415 notes · View notes

ineloqueent · 4 years ago

Note

dialogue prompt? “don’t kiss me ‘cause if you do, i’ll kiss you back.”

this is long, and quite dramatic. oops.

gif by @imladrs , which i had to include because it’s absolutely beautiful.

⭒

1977

The room was full of strangers.

They called him a friend, when in reality they knew nothing about him.

They knew of his fame, sure, how he’d built his guitar from scratch and was in a band with three others, three others whom he had named equals in family to anyone who shared his blood.

But they knew nothing of him.

Not how his heart ached in its loneliness, not how he dreamt of belonging to another, because he could not imagine a purer form of love than that of sharing your entire world with another person, enthralled by them, indebted to their kindness though they never expected a repayment, someone to share one’s happiness with in its entirety, someone to promise him that he would make it through the darker hours of his life.

Somebody to love.

Oh, he loved, there was no doubt about that.

He loved so much that it hurt, and though he wasn’t always good at showing it, he would have died of grief had he lost any of his friends, or his mother or father. He had so much love to give, and no one to give it to. He longed to hold someone’s hand for the sake of holding their hand, to dedicate his touch to their skin and prove to them that they were loved, to show them how much brighter the world looked when they looked upon it with a fondness for life, a fondness for being alive, like gazing up at the moon and being in awe of its beauty, thinking of how lucky one was to see such a glow, even from so far away.

Brian had never in his life felt special. And he knew that it was a ridiculously self-deprecating thought, but he supposed he was simply never meant to feel special, because if everyone was special, then no one was special. He knew in his heart that no one would ever love him as much as he loved them. He knew he would never be special. But damn it all, he wanted to make someone feel special. If he could make someone happier, then he would be happier too; he would die happily in his accomplishment.

But there was no one to give his love. With each passing day he felt lonelier than ever before.

Until she walked into the room.

⭒

Much to your dismay, there was not a quiet corner to sneak off to at this party.

Every corner was occupied by lovers or friends, and though you had come here with a friend, you suddenly found yourself entirely friendless, surrounded by strangers and people you vaguely recognised but did not know well enough to strike up a conversation with.

You had never been a talent in the realm of small-talk, and you weren’t willing to start a career now.

The room was full of people, and yet you had never felt more alone in your life.

Deserted by the one person you knew, you sighed and fought the urge to sink to the floor in despair. She hadn’t meant to leave you, but she’d always been like that— self-assured and well-adapted— and was easily swept away by a tide of companions that might have repulsed you, if you had not known how kind she was, and how that kindness ebbed and flowed, and attracted every human in sight.

You had always been bluntly honest, and few people, very few people indeed, valued honesty to the degree where they did not mind a slight offense to their character if it was the truth. Even you understood, because you were honest, but struggled to deal with the honesty of others. Particularly when it involved romantic involvement.

In the past year alone, four people had confessed attraction to you, and you had broken down each time, crushed by the horror of having to hurt them and say that you did not feel the same way, as well as the sinking feeling of how perhaps you were incapable of loving anyone, for but the idealised versions of people that lived within your head.

But many years ago, there had been a person you had loved, though perhaps you had been too young at the time to understand what it was you were feeling.

Since you’d left the place where he existed, you’d turned bitter and cynical.

You chose your friends carefully, not out of haughtiness, but out of a fear of being hurt, of trusting the wrong people with the terrible fears of your heart— ones that would certainly make them love you less, if they loved you at all.

And yet. You idealised the memories of people to an extraordinary degree. Far too often.

The ones you trusted you hefted upon a shrine of goodwill, embracing them longer and more fiercely when they departed your company, never ceasing to speak of them to anyone who would listen, thinking of them every day. It wasn’t an obsessive habit, you told yourself. It was just like everything else.

It was a desperation to be loved.

To be loved despite your faults, despite your vices and your numerous, unyielding virtues, to be loved even in the face of everything that made you unlovable.

And so you idealised those who made you feel loved, even when they ignored your letters or shunned your sentimentalism, because you knew that deep down, they wanted to be loved as much as you, but simply deigned to have more shame than you.

But you’d been ashamed for too long.

Now, you would be ashamed no longer, and would live in the dreams of your head if that would make you happy, because you were tired of being unhappy. And you were as good as addicted to the version of life that you’d created inside of your mind.

More often than not, however, the idealism caused you no end to grief, when years later, you would reunite with someone and they would turn out to be so very unlike the person you had dreamed them to be.

But there was one person. One person who, every time you ran across him, unbidden but never unwelcome, renewed your faith in humanity, and in being loved. Because he always made you feel loved, important, special. It was like there was no end to the love he could give to you, through his smiles, and the way he held your hand, even though the two of you had never been anything more than friends, through his quiet laughter at the silliest of your musings.

You were never quiet around him, as you were with most people. In fact, when you were in his company you had absolutely no filter at all, because he was the least intimidating person you had ever met. He wasn’t intimidating, because he was honest. Like you.

But he was also endlessly kind and endlessly romantic— he lived his life by the light of the stars and the music that hummed beneath his words, as though he found everything beautiful in some way or another.

You were angry at the world. He was in love with it.

Better still, you had never idealised him to become that person. He just simply was.

And you would never see him again.

He’d always been in and out of your life, but this time, it was over. You were sure of it.

You’d known him since the two of you had been no more than five years old, and you’d been in the playground with your all-girl friend group.

Even from a young age, you’d spent much time occupied by your thoughts, and standing in the middle of the playground on that summer’s day, counting to a hundred in this game of hide and seek, you’d thought it odd that you’d ended up with only girls for friends, when your very first friend, at age one, had been a boy.

You had wondered then, opening your eyes to find that your giggling friends had all hidden away, whatever had happened to him. When you’d started a new school, you’d lost contact with him…. Jacob. Yes, that had been his name.

And at five, insecure in the onslaught of new culture that surrounded you, you’d been overwhelmed by the terrible thought of your name fading from someone’s memory.

You’d started to cry.

You hadn’t meant to close your eyes a second time, having finished counting and intending to go and find your friends, but it was an easier way to hide your tears from any teacher who might have wandered past and asked you what was wrong. But in closing your eyes, you had dimmed your senses, and were thus startled by a hand on your shoulder, turning you around.

“What’s the matter?”

You’d opened your eyes to find a boy staring at you.

“I— I can’t find my friends,” you lied.

His smile was quick. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I’ll help you. If you want..?”

Feeling strangely at ease in his presence, you’d nodded, unsure of yourself, but sure of the kindness he embodied. He took your hand into his own, and without a thought, kissed your cheek.

Baffled, you blinked.

He seemed to sense your startled reaction.

“It’s what my mum does whenever I’m sad,” he said. “She says it means she loves me, and that she’ll be there for me, no matter how lost I feel.” He shrugged. “You looked lost.”

And with that, he’d pulled you along at a jog, smiling a gap-toothed grin and going around the playground with you until you’d found each one of your friends.

Everyone had teased you from that day on, about how he was your boyfriend. They’d said it in such a sing-song way, though, and you couldn’t help but giggle at their remarks, to smile when he smiled at you and witness the oohs that chorused from the kindergartners around you.

So you’d let them tease you, and begun to call him your boyfriend.

He became one of your closest friends, taking you to the cinema on ‘dates’, paying for the tickets and the concessions with his own pocket money, the money he’d earned from whatever little chores he could pick up from his neighbours— weeding out the garden, walking dogs, polishing shoes.

He taught you how to play chess, how to swim faster than anyone else, and how to stand up for yourself, even when the people you had to stand up to were adults, ones who had proclaimed themselves older and wiser than your young, knobbly-kneed self.

You’d grown older, and when six years had passed, the remarks about him being your boyfriend had turned earnest. Your friends asked constantly whether you would ever kiss him, whether he’d asked to kiss you, and your parents joked about the two of you marrying one another when your ages eventually passed into the twenties.

But at the time, you were only eleven, still naïve and innocent of mind, and when you’d moved away, you’d thought next to nothing of your last day of seeing him, thought nothing when he hadn’t hugged you goodbye, because you were eleven, and hugging people was an intimacy reserved for family.

Over the years— once in every five, to be precise— you’d returned to your old home town to visit, and you and he had gotten on as well as you always had, though now he would hug you properly and tell you how tall and beautiful you’d grown in the time you’d been away. If he hadn’t always been so honest, you would have scorned him for lying to you, because you knew you were not beautiful, and he had always been taller than you.

So perhaps it was a fantasy to think that you should see him at this party tonight, in the city where it had all begun.

But still you hoped, because despite how your other friends had told you about his various new girlfriends over the years— real girlfriends, because you had been too young to ever be that to him— a part of you still dared to think that he could love you, as no one had ever loved you before.

⭒

She was here.

He walked with her in memories, had savoured her touch even when they’d been only eighteen, shivering, terrified beneath her fingers when they skimmed his arm, because he was afraid of acting upon his feelings, lest she rebuke him for crossing an unforgivable boundary— the boundary between friends and lovers.

It was a cliche, he knew, but his terror was real.

And seeing her now made him think he was dreaming, because she was standing alone, in precisely the manner that had characterised her solitude when they had been five.

Only this time she was not weeping. She had learned to stem her tears, as all children eventually must, and in her resolve, she was more beautiful than ever.

Anyone else might have found her eyes cruel, surveying the room as though the world was hers, and hers to judge, but he knew what she was doing.

She was doing what she had always done, compartmentalising and rationalising her fears until they withered beneath her incessant will to be stronger than that which scared her, and looking for a place to escape to, beneath the dim lighting and close-crowded bodies of the party.

If he hadn’t known any better, he’d have said she was looking for him.

But Brian was nothing if not honest, and so he quelled that train of thought before it was even fully formed.

Still.

It couldn’t hurt to say hello, could it? By some quick head-maths, he reckoned they were due for a reunion. It had, after all, been a good deal more than five years since he’d seen her last.

He downed the last of his drink, flexed his shaking hands, and began to carve a path through the crowd toward her.

⭒

“Y/N?”

Your heart had already been in your throat, but by god, surely it had ceased to beat at the sound of your name breathed from his mouth.

You turned around and your stopped heart nearly broke at the sight of him, standing there short of breath, tall as ever, those hazel eyes liquifying you completely with the earnesty of their gaze.

“Brian, hi.” You were as breathless as he, and when you stepped closer to him, you found that you were dizzy too, because you nearly toppled in your low-heels when he smiled.

“H-ey, watch yourself, love,” he gripped your hands before you fell, and you flashed him a grateful smile.

“Sorry,” you said, and, to your dismay, blushed.

He shook his head, gentle laughter bubbling up over his lips. “It’s okay,” he assured you.

You stared at him for a moment before the words fluttered from him like a net-full of butterflies, newly freed, only to choose their new home to be your stomach. “It’s so good to see you,” he gushed, and wrapped his arms around you.

Caught by surprise, your arms found residence around his neck, and when he leaned his head against yours, you breathed in the fresh-linen smell of his curls, the slight musk of his skin that was between vanilla and sage, impossibly both rain and perpetual sunshine.

“Why do we wait five years every time?” you wondered softly against the shell of his ear, like the honest person you were.

This was the most honest you’d been in years.

Because your honesty seemed to hurt others, and so you forewent honesty for honeyed lies, to spare them of the pain your words might otherwise have caused.

It was draining to lie all the time.

But you never had to lie with Brian, because where your honesty seemed to hurt others, it enamoured him. He told you so, as often as he had the chance.

“I honestly don’t know,” he whispered back, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

He pulled back at the sound and smiled again.

You suddenly couldn’t bear to spend another minute in this room full of strangers.

“Outside?” you said, and he nodded, taking you by the hand just as he had done all those years ago.

Outside, it was quiet and cold, and without a second thought, Brian had his arm around your shoulders, his warmth a welcome replacement to the coat you hadn’t thought to bring.

“So what brings you back home?” he asked as you sat down with him, by what appeared to be a garden pond. The water babbled with the presence of a small, adjourning stream, and the surface of the pool brimmed with blush-pink water lilies. The moon’s friendly light showed you as much.

And it showed you the marble-carved contours of Brian’s face, the bow of his pretty lips.

You licked your own, willing yourself to glance away, but finding the action utterly inviable.

“Oh, you know,” you began half-heartedly, “old friends to meet, new memories to be made.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Old friends?” he said. “And here I thought you were here to see me.”

He was joking, but his closeness abruptly dampened your skin with a nervous sweat. You wrinkled your nose and pushed his arm off of your shoulder before he noticed.

“Shut up, Brian. You know I mean you.”

Brian chuckled, carding long, elegant fingers through his tousled hair. “No, don’t worry. You don’t have to lie to me.”

You looked at him.

“When have I ever lied to you?”

The air was pulled taut as a string when his eyes met yours.

“Never,” he responded quietly. He made no movement for but that of speaking. He did not blink, and you did not breathe.

“I always come back to you,” you said, and now that the words were flowing, you could not stop them. “Because no matter how many years pass, no matter how much other people change—” you had to take a breath before it physically killed you. But it was a sharp breath, and Brian hung on your every word, so when you inhaled, he gravitated toward you.

“You,” you whispered. “You never change.”

He let out a little sound, something like oh, like a realisation.

And you couldn’t keep yourself from your honesty any longer, because you leaned in to kiss him.

His thumb curved over your lower lip, depriving you of that final touch, the one which held you suspended before him, with no modesty left, no secrets, no shame, no nothing.

No end to the love which you carried in your heart for him, like a candle you had held shielded for years, cupping your hands around the flame, even if your fingers burned, because keeping that candle alight mattered more to you than the suffering of pain, more than anything in this world.

“Don’t kiss me.”

How easily three words could shatter a soul.

“Wh—”

“‘Cause if you do, I’ll kiss you back.”

You dared exhale, and his eyes fluttered shut when you kissed the pad of his thumb.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Brian’s eyes opened, as his thumb tugged softly on your lip again. It was difficult to keep quiet when he touched you like that.

“Then despite our proclaimed honesty,” he said, “you’ve lied to me every day of your life.”

You shook your head slowly. “No, Brian. You just haven’t let yourself hear what I’ve been telling you.”

His eyes widened, and you were staring into a hazel-ringed abyss, a black hole super-positioned over dying nebulae.

Brian’s thumb slipped from your lip, and he replaced its pressure with his mouth.

Exhilaration surged through you and wound itself around your heart, turned your brain to nothingness as his kiss turned you to treacle, thoughts abandoned in favour of returning the tenderness of his touch.

It felt like he’d waited forever to kiss you, from the way he cradled you in his arms. And you felt suddenly desperate that he should never let you go, that he should stay this way forever, with the curve of his hips melded against yours, the press of his chest and the fold of his hands keeping you closer to him than you could ever have hoped to be, a breathless whine escaping his perfect mouth as he kissed you deeper, more desperately, as desperate as you felt. You were his equal in your want, in your need, and the understanding between the two of you set you free, because never had you felt such an easy, mutual understanding as this. It was the simplicity of his kiss that killed you a little— how plain he was in his emotions, how willing he was to show them to you. He had the same honesty as you, even if it manifested in a different way— a better, more loving way— because he understood how truth grounded you, and in revealing to you his affections, without the intent to play games or string you along, he understood you as well.

He was quick to love and slow to judge, and though his movements were languid, his kiss was not, dissolving you like sugar beneath his lips, wet from your tongue or his— it was difficult to tell. His senses were yours, his desire a divinity when you needed his touch as hopelessly as he needed yours, and you craved for the world to always hold him this close to you.

When he brought your lower lip between his teeth, you allowed yourself to shudder, and he smiled, pressing another quick kiss to your mouth.

“Why did we wait so long with being honest?” he murmured.

You laughed in response, winding your arms around his slim waist and kissing his shoulder. You felt him kiss your hair, and you nestled further into his hold.

“Never again,” you said.

He repeated the words in his lilting voice, and combed his fingers through your hair— lingeringly, lovingly.

And in the cold and the dark, you knew he would continue to be honest with you forever, because Brian was unlike anyone you’d ever met before.

Brian was special.

#tina’s writing #brian may x reader #fic

93 notes · View notes

1nsomniacwriter · 4 years ago

Text

Remus goes to therapy and Patton talks to Thomas

Part 5 of the Intrulogical Library AU

Let me know if you wanna be tagged

After hours of arguing it was agreed upon that Remus could have his therapy sessions in the library because Remus felt safe there and it would be easier for him to talk about everything there than it would in Emile’s office. In thirty minutes Remus would be heading to the library not to read but for his session. He decided to put on an outfit that would bring him comfort.

Settling on a green jean skirt, a black hoodie with the words ‘Fuck of I’m reading’ scarwled across the front in green calligraphy, black tights, and combats boots Remus was ready because what is better than a comfort outfit when he was going to talk about his emotions which he hated to do. With a heavy sigh Remus rose from his bean bag and opened the door when Logan knocked.

“Are you ready to go?” Logan asked.

“Yeah. Just let me grab Mortuus and Polypus,” Remus answered.

“Who?”

“Do you remember the octopus stuffed animal Roman gave me for my eight birthday?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s Polypus. It’s Latin for octopus.”

“How many languages do you speak?”

“Let’s see. I speak Italian, Russian, Romanian, Latin, Finnish, Portuguese, Norwegian, Scottish Gaelic, Japanese, and French. So ten.”

“That is extremely impressive.”

“Thanks Lo.”

They stopped in front of the library giant oak doors.

“Thanks for walking me over here. I probably would have ditched and hid in the imagination if you hadn’t,” Remus said.

“Of course,” Logan said.

“Well I had better go in,” Remus said.

“Don’t worry. It’ll be fine. Patton called a meeting for Roman, Janus, Virgil, and I so I’ll see you later.” Logan said and left.

Remus took a deep breath and hugged Mortuus before shoving open the oak doors. He moved toward Emile who was sitting in front of Remus’ usual seat. A cup of lemon tea sat on the table next to Remus’ chair and a bowl of fruit sat in front of Mortuus pillow on the mantel. Remus set her down on the pillow and pulled Polypus out of his pocket. He sat down and waited for Emile to talk while fidgeting.

“Hello Remus,” Emile said after a moment.

“Hey Doc,” Remus said.

“So Logan finally convinced you to get help?”

“He made a compelling argument.”

“How did he manage to do that?”

“By explaining to me why he couldn’t help me himself since my mind was working against me making it impossible for me to believe he truly wants to help me. He pointed out that due to my abandonment and trust issues I have a hard time opening up and he can’t help if I don’t. He said that if I got professional help I might be able to open up more to him and the others so they could help me too.”

“So you have admitted you need the help?”

“For the most part.”

“Alright do you want to focus on your abandonment or trust issues first? We’ll work on your self esteem at a later date.”

“Could we start with my abandonment issues because they led to my trust issues?”

“Alright. We’ll use Young Justice since you understand the characters to explain. Now who would you say abandoned you first?”

“Roman. He left first and took Logan with him after we split into light and dark sides.”

“Would you say it was anything like when Jade left Artemis?”

“I guess. She left for a different reason that Roman left me.”

“And why do you think Roman left you?”

“Because I had no filter or self control making me unbearable to be around. I was gross and loud. No one likes to be around someone like that.”

“Yet he loves to be around you now?”

“I wouldn’t say love more like tolortates my presence.”

“Then why would he now seek out your company?”

“I don’t know.”

“Alright I want you to compare your relationship to your brother to a DC familial relationship.”

“I would say he’s like Dick and I’m Damien,” Remus said after a moment.

“And why is that?” Emile asked.

“I guess it’s because despite how much we fight we still love eachother even if I don’t think he does at times,” Remus eventually said after thinking the question over.

“So you admit he does care?”

“I-I suppose” Remus said after a moment's hesitation.

“Okay now how do you feel about Roman and the fact that he is trying to get to know you again?” Emile asked.

Remus took a sip of his tea and thought over the question. How did he feel about Roman’s effort to be a good brother.

“It makes me happy but I’m still upset that he abandoned me in the first place and I don’t know how to tell him that it still hurts because I know he’s trying to do better and I don’t want to lose him again or sound ungrateful that he is trying,” Remus said after a few minutes.

“And that is a perfectly valid thing to feel Remus but I think you need to tell Roman that you are still upset,” Emile said and pet Mortuus, “You can feel this way. He left you because of something you had no control over but he’s not leaving again. I can promise you that. I can also guarantee he missed you too.”

It continued on like this. Emile picking apart Remus' feelings about everything happening with his brother and helping him understand why he felt that way. Meanwhile Patton was explaining to everyone that he wanted to convince Thomas to accept Remus. Everyone was on board so they rose up in the living room to find Thomas playing video games.

“Ummm… did something happen?” Thomas asked.

“Everything is adequate Thomas, we just wish to speak to you about Remus,” Logan answered.

“Okayyy,” Thomas said, pausing the video game and setting down the controller.

“Before we start I just wanted to say please keep an open mind Thomas,” Logan said.

“Alright? What’s going on?” Thomas said.

“We wanted to talk to you about accepting Remus,” Patton said.

“Wait… what?” Thomas said.

“Over the last couple of months we have spent more time all together and we as a whole think it would be best for everyone including yourself to accept Remus as a part of yourself,” Logan explained.

“Why?” Thomas asked.

“Because we were wrong about him, especially me,” Patton said.

“Patton, my darling dove, I thought I said to blame yourself,” Janus said.

“Right sorry,” Patton said.

“Remus means no harm. He can’t control the thoughts,” Roman said.

“Okay. Can I talk to him before I decide?” Thomas asked.

“I was actually hoping to not have to bother him. He’s in a therapy appointment right now,” Patton said.

“Umm alright,” Thomas said rubbing his neck, “I think I can accept him but can you tell me about him?”

“Sure,” Roman said and sat down.

“He doesn’t have an opossum named Mortuus that Virgil and I didn’t help raise,” Janus said.

“He is multilingual and speaks ten langues,” Logan said.

“He is a huge DC nerd,” Virgil said.

“He loves octopie and used to want one as a pet but I think he is far happier with Mortuus,” Roman said.

“He loves to read and write,” Patton said.

“His favorite color isn’t jade green,” Janus said.

“He adores psychology,” Logan said.

“He started learning Latin right after the split as a distraction,” Virgil said.

“He can actually cook really well when he tries,” Patton said.

“His favorite flavor isn’t lemon,” Janus said.

“He is surprisingly organized because it helps with his intrusive thoughts,” Logan said.

“He likes to clean and blast music when his mind gets too loud,” Virgil said.

“He does the dishes every night because he likes to play with the bubbles,” Patton said.

As they listed things about Remus Thomas began to accept Remus. His room shifted to the lighter side of the mindscape. Things were going to be better and Remus would never feel left out again they would make sure of it.

#intrulogical #platonic intrulogical #platonic dlampr #prinxiety #moceit #roman sanders sides #virgil sanders sides #remus sanders sides #logan sanders sides #janus sanders sides #patton sanders sides #mortuus the opossum #intrulogical library au #rem writes

33 notes · View notes

colderthancoldest · 4 years ago

Text

Return Home To You

Dhawan!Master x Reader

Summary: Last you heard from the Master, he was on his way to propose an alliance with some of the galaxy's worst criminals. When he finally returns, it's clear the meeting didn't go as planned.

Reader comforts the Master basically, fluff piece, loosely inspired by Hozier’s ‘Work Song’

Inspired by: This post by @flybi91

Warnings: Injuries, blood, ect

Word Count: About 2.2k

---

You've been worried about the Master for some time now. Last you saw him, he had been on his way to meet a very dangerous man about the possibility of a high-stakes alliance. He had dropped you off at your apartment to return to your normal life, citing that it was a better way you spent your time. However, you suspected he was secretly trying to keep you safe in case things went sideways.

You had begged him to be careful around such powerful and violent figures, but he had reassured you- the way he always does- that he knows what he's doing.

He promised you everything would be perfectly alright and he would return as soon as the deal was sealed.

That was 2 weeks ago.

'He has a time machine,' you tell yourself, 'he easily could have gotten the date wrong with a press of a button.'

'He could return any second and maybe only a few hours have passed for him,' you lie to yourself.

Normally, it wouldn't be much of a stretch to consider the possibility of a time machine missing it's mark by a few weeks- however you know him.

You know the Master, absolutely and completely. As he so often makes a point of, "You probably know me better than anyone ever has."

He would never leave you for this long without telling you. And more than than, he'd promised to return once his meeting was over. What could possibly be keeping him?

You try to distract yourself with anything you can think of just to starve off the sick feeling such worries bring, but they grow stronger every day. There's a nauseating, gnawing at your gut that perhaps something has happened to him and he's too hurt to make good on his promise.

You trust him, but the Master is only one man. There are some things beyond even his control.

You've been thinking about it all evening when you realize it's been three full weeks since you last saw him. You don't even care what's happened anymore, you just hope more than anything that he's not lying dead in a ditch on a planet you could never hope to reach alone.

It's a beautiful fall evening when you finally hear the familiar, rhythmic noise of the Tardis engines.

You convinced the Tardis to translate her manual once- you and his telepathic craft have a certain bond in that way- and diagnosed the wheezing sound as a simple issue of unoiled breaks.

The Master, without a doubt the most stubborn person you've ever met, refused to let you fix the problem- but the way he had looked at you that day still lingers in your mind as if it was yesterday.

You would give anything for him to look at you like that again. With so much love and intrigue and something almost impressed in those gorgeous deep eyes of his. More than anything, you need to see those perfect eyes once more and know that he's alright.

At the sound of the Tardis, you seek out the noise as quickly as you're able. You're almost happy he refused to change the noise because if he had, you may not have recognized it.

You find the familiar craft settled in an ally just around the corner. As you hurry over the walkway littered in colorful autumn leaves, you get the terrible feeling that the Tardis seems relieved to be found by you. You've had this feeling before- once when the Master had gotten into a particularly bad bar fight and the Tardis had returned his unconscious body to you- but it's stronger this time, and that terrifies you.

"What is it?" you breathe once she's in your sights. You're a little out of breath from tracking down the Tardis but you're not about to let that slow you down. The Tardis only swings open her doors for you.

You barely make it inside when your body freezes involuntarily and you stop. There's blood on the floor, a trail like a leaking container of milk through a grocery store. You can see the pattern of exactly where the Master had walked and for how long he stood there by the size of the tiny pools laid out before you.

As you enter, the Master's back is to you. Both of his hands are clutching tight to the controls of his ship and you immediately recognize that something's wrong from the way he has himself braced.

Just as quickly as you had stopped, you run to him.

"Are you alright? I mean, obviously not but- Tell me how to help," you quickly ask the Master, your words tumbling out nervously.

He refuses to look at you.

"I didn't want you to see me like this," he breathes as a small string of blood escapes his lips.

He stands there like he's okay, but you know for certain that he's not. If he was, he would have spun around in that theatrical way he likes to and flash you a bright, award-winning smile. Instead he only stands there with his hands gripping tight to the stand like he can barely do just that.

"She brought me here anyways," the Master considers quietly, clearly referring to the Tardis.

He doesn't sound like he's fully there as he gives you a small laugh, barely a little huff of amusement, and his grip falters for a second.

His hands were coated in blood, far too much for you to know where or who it had come from. All you know is that it's a bad sign.

"It's okay. You're safe now. Let me help you," you offer.

No response.

"Tell me how to help you," you then add more firmly when it appears he didn't quite hear you.

The sharpness in your tone gets his attention.

"I'm sorry," he says. His voice crackles and he finally turns to look at you.

The side of his face is bruised terribly. His lips are bleeding profusely from numerous cuts against his teeth. His left side is bleeding, he shifts all his weight to one leg so it doesn't seem too obvious that the other is injured. There's blood smeared down nearly every square inch of his clothes and you're not sure what's worse- if it's his or someone else's.

You take his face gently in your hands and allow his soft skin and sharp beard to mix sensations beneath your fingertips.

"Look at me," you ask.

He can barely get his eyes to stay on you. They keep focusing in and out of reality and you're half certain he's going to pass out when he finally locks those eyes on you.

All at once, you know you can fix this because there he is again. At the end of the day, all he is is another living soul and, no matter what happens, he'll always return home to you.

"You're going to be okay," you promise softly, "Don't worry about explaining right now. Just tell me how to help."

He breathes something weak, perhaps a sigh of relief, and nods.

"There's a medbay," his mouth and voice crackle from the tears slowly filling his eyes and the blood threatening to fill his throat.

"The Tardis can show you the extent of my injuries and help to patch me up," the Master says before forcing himself to take a deep breath.

"Alright," you agree as you pull one of the Master's arms over your shoulders and wrap your own arm around his side to guide him.

One of his legs is clearly badly injured, but he doesn't do much more than wince as you help him down one of the concealed halls. Thankfully, the Tardis understands the Master's situation and not only moves the room closer, but also opens all the doors for you.

The Master is relieved when his body finally falls into a small, hospital-like bed in the aforementioned medbay. He gives a low groan at the effort it takes, but he seems much happier once he can rest.

The Tardis performs a scan and begins her own work patching up the worst of the Master's wounds with a small claw-like arm. It cuts away a small gap in the torn fabric, cleans the wound, and then goes to work with some futuristic stitches.

Medicine was never your procession, so you do what you can by getting a damp cloth to wipe off some of the blood. If it's his, then you have to make sure he isn't bleeding anywhere else.

Usually the Master is all jokes and gallows humor, but he barely seems able to stay conscious. The fact that he's still trying to stay awake worries you. You wonder what he thinks will happen if he doesn't.

"I'm sorry," he tries again. "This isn't your job but I-"

He stops and weakly turns his head away from you, trying to hide the more damaged side of his face.

"Have nowhere else to go?" you ask softly.

He closes his eyes and tries to hide his expression, but you know that's what he meant.

You push the barrier down on the side of the bed and lean down to reach him. You wrap one arm around his back and move the over to hold the back of his head as you hug him.

His arms immediately reach up to hold you in return. You can practically feel the tremor in his hands as his arms tighten around you.

"I was scared I would regenerate," he confesses softly into your shoulder. He was getting blood everywhere, but it was a small price to pay to comfort him.

The Master's arms tightened and despite the way his muscles shook and strained to keep a hold of you, he refuses to let go for a minute more.

"I was scared I wouldn't see you again. This me anyways. And what if I came back as someone else? What if you... didn't feel the same way about them?"

You lean closer into him so he doesn't have to strain as much. You run your fingers through his hair and do your best to sooth him as the Tardis does her best to patch the deep tear in his side. Slowly and gradually, you know it's working by the way his fingers gently loosen on the fistfuls of your clothes.

"We would have figured it out," you promise him, "But with that said, please try not to die."

He laughs a little at that and it's enough to let you know that he'll be alright if he can pull through the worst of this.

Eventually, when he's stable and calm enough, you settle him to lay down and he lets you pull away. You catch a glimpse of gold flicker across the top of his hand, now clean from blood, and just as quickly disappear. The Master looks like he's perfectly content pretending he didn't catch you notice how bad a condition he's in- and yet you can't help but smile.

"You always have been the most stubborn person I've ever met," you chuckle a little.

"Ever the survivor, me," he replies quietly with a smirk.

You look him over once more. He's even more exhausted than before now that the fear and adrenaline have worn off. The Tardis has given him some medicine to counter what you know must be agony. Still, he's in pain, and you can't help but wonder how often he goes through it alone.

"You can always come back to me, you know," you assure him as you pull up a chair and lean down to his level.

He turns to look at you, his deep eyes so loving and gentle as they look over you. You can see that he believes you, and it's enough to bring tears to the edges of his vision.

"No matter what," you promise firmly.

The Master swallows back his tears and blood.

"You'll stay?" he asks softly, almost in disbelief, "You won't get scared and leave?"

You smile, a deep and sad smile, because he should really know this by now. He should know that you're loyal to a fault, just as he is.

It's a tight fit, but you climb into the bed next to him and settle yourself against his less-wounded side. You retrieve an ice pack from the table next to you and offer it to the Master for the damaged side of his face. He holds it to his bruises as you hold him and watch for his breathing as the Tardis's scan confirms he's healing properly.

"You're lucky," you tell him with your head on his shoulder. You're covered in blood by this point too, but it doesn't really matter.

"You're stable for now," you explain. "Once I can move you without aggravating your wounds we'll get you properly cleaned up," you assure him.

The Master hums in agreement as he begins to drift off. Now that he knows he's in safe hands and that he won't be regenerating anytime soon- not to mention the medication that's finally kicked in- he finally appears to be okay with letting go of the conscious world.

"Yes," he agrees quietly with one arm settled around you and his other hands in yours, "I suppose I am quite lucky."

#i don't usually write in this style #but i liked the prompt #this was a fun change of pace #i hope it's alright #please tell me what you think <3 #dhawan!master #dhawan master #doctor who #dhawan master x reader #dhawan!master x reader #doctor who fic

57 notes · View notes