#and trick myself into thinking the show’s good again
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ill try to answer them all:
genevieve, and I like it!
Yep! I can't draw but I do acting and singing
Yes unfortunately
be on stage as a job
Will Campos waved at me once
not right now, my legs are too fucked
being overlooked: seen but ignored for someone else who is just as good/worse than me
Barret Wilbert weed
I can sing, do card tricks, and I can walk incredibly quietly (ninja style)
absolutely fucking not, just TRY waking me up before 10am at the weekend
Only for bf/gfs but I am down for a nickname
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA YES
I don't watch shows so I'll list one show and movies: good omens, red white and royal blue, the princes bride
not really lol
Me and my friends from all across my friend groups sitting in an oak tree eighty feet high, smoking weed and passing round a bottle of wine that never emptied. We watched the snow fall and the sun rise and it was literally perfect.
nope
nope again
nope x3
unfortunately I am a social butterfly but I wish I could just be on my own sometimes fr
yep! Never used to be but I guess I'm popular now
bite my nails
I always forget I have mascara on so I rub my eyes and I look stupid- I feel open to attack.
Jon if it's a boy, Elisa if it's a girl, and backup name of Ollie/Yasmin/Jasmine
dont have one but DAMN Andrew Garfield fine
music
Dogs but I do love cats
Literally tumbles my only social. I guess ao3?
@valkzzheart
brother, sister, mum, dad. Pretty standard shit
chocolate 🤤
Yep!
YES I LOVE ROLLERCOASTERS
yep, quite well
I have a. DETAILED PLAN. if y'all want me to tell it exactly lmk and I'll divulge my master plan.
yes, a few
Yep!
Pink/blue!
England!!! TOP BINS MATE OAYYYY
Any musical theatre artist!! Or Conan Gray
yes!! It's a big dream of mine but I don't wanna be super famous
Yes I love dresses but I wish it was warmer where I live so I can wear them more
popular from wicked / astronomy by Conan Gray
talking about it in person yes (especially with parents) online no, actually doing it would be a no
like 12?
Yes I do it all the time, Im in a shooting club
Nope!!
i love horror!!
According to my friends yes and I think I'm good too
one time I got really mad at my parents because I was sent away from the dinner table in my old home so I went upstairs and flushed a whole toilet roll down the bog
pretty exhausted
Yes I was actually
i never used to be able to dance but I can now
Biting my nails again
Yes!! I bleached it just so I could dye it
Blue
ferret
Onstage once yeah but it wasn't my fault (mic cut out, I got made fun of)
Yes!
lots!
My main friend group is GAE 🏳️🌈
drama
None
sometimes? It varies
pet sematary (1989) FANTASTIC
Not on TV but in podcasting: Normally 'Ly Oak-Swallows-Garcia-Li-Wilson-Marlowe-Swift-The-Unworthy is just like me fr
need to be at the top and extreme competitiveness I force myself not to think about, plus my extreme feelings about fairness
hiking the mountains and going around the world to beautiful places
If I would never die I would start committing crimes
singing aloud onstage and around the house to practice
who I became friends with would change ASAP and my class too
yes absolutely
Late October
My room with all my DND stuff
Did my singing competition auditions!!
an astrophysicist
A stable career and a consistent home life
I usually speak up, I don't think I have a moment like this
I have to get better at everything.
I feel like that already with how many extracurriculars I'm doing bruh 😭
seeing the sights bro
Houses for me and my friends/family, stable education funds for me, my friends, my kids, my family and all our kids. Keep people safe from bankruptcy
The past, instantly. Live in the 80s and 70s forever
a love of acting and helping others
same one from earlier- hanging with the boys committing crimes!!
The woods would be nice but if get bored. The city
Nope. There's no afterlife. It just ends.
my year 6 teacher was the GOAT
playing Lego with my friend from nursery, Aoife.
Einstein so I can get his last words
I don't really know yet. I've laughed so hard I've cried but it's not the same
that some people are gonna think others are better than you and you just have to deal with that. Favoritism is everywhere and fairness is irrelevant.
Nothing.
kill some people probably /hj
run away/defy authority unfortunately
yes, because no matter what people say, looks matter especially early in life. If youre pretty at school you aren't bullied and people like you. I want to give my kid the best chance. (not saying this is a good thing, I hate this but it's the truth)
idk just kinda happened one day
impending doom and my immense hopelessness and just. General sense of emptiness and failure.
exist.
hey that wasnt 100 you skipped 2!!
100 Questions!
Thought these might be fun? Ask me some and I’ll try(I can’t promise) to get something up for you later! these questions aren’t my own
1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it? 2. are you artistic? 3. Have you had your first kiss? 4. What is your life goal? 5. Do you have any expieriences with a famous person? 6. Do you play any sports? 7. What’s your worst fear? 8. Who’s your biggest inspiration? 9. Do you have any cool talents? 10. are you a morning person? 11. How do you feel about pet names? 12. Do you like to read? 13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life. 14. Do you care about your follower count? 15. What’s the best dream you’ve had? 16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender? 17. Do you have any pets? 18. Are you religious? 19. Are you a people person? 20. Are you considered popular? 21. What is one of your bad habits? 22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable 23. What would you name your children? 24. Who’s your celebrity crush? 25. What’s your best subject? 26. Dogs or cats? 27. most used social media besides tumblr? 28. best friends name 29. who does your main family consist of 30. Chocolate or sugar 31. have you ever been on a date? 32. Do you like rollercosters? 33. Can you swim? 34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse? 35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder 36. Are your parents together? 37. What’s your favourite colour? 38. What country are you from/do you live in? 39. Favourite singer? 40. Do you see yourself being famous some day? 41. Do you like dresses? 42. Favourite song right now? 43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? 44. How old were you when you first got your period? 45. Have you ever shot a gun? 46. Have you ever done yoga? 47. Are you a horror girl? 48. Are you good at giving advice? 49. Tell us a story about your childhood. 50. How are you doing today? 51. Were you a cute kid? 52. Can you dance? 53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing? 54. Have you ever dyed your hair? 55. What colour are your eyes? 56. What’s your favourite animal? 57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself? 58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 59. Do you have good friends? 60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group? 61. What’s your favourite class? 62. List all the tv shows you are watching. 63. Are you organized? 64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion? 67. Which tv character do you relate to most? 68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness? 69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing? 70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die? 71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you? 72. If you could start over, what would you do differently? 73. Would you break the law to save a loved one? 74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new? 75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind? 76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today? 77. What did you want to be when you were a kid? 78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking? 79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have? 80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence 81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like? 82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity? 83. How would you spend a billion dollars? 84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future? 85. What motivates you to succeed? 86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most? 87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why? 88. Do you believe in life after death 89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they? 90. What’s your fondest childhood memory? 91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why? 92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy? 93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life? 94. What do you think happens after we die? 95. What would you do if you would be invisible? 96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try? 97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring? 98. How did your first crush develop? 99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it? 100. Do you live or do you just exist?
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☆ how i originally lost weight quickly ☆
☆ i plan on doing as much of this again as i can ☆
☆ always have a bottle of water with you and refill it everytime you finish. constantly take sips throughout the day and drink at least one cup of water before every meal. it helps you feel fuller! i drink multiple bottles of water a day! ☆
☆ fast multiple days a week- doesn't even have to be a full 24 hours each time. i tend to skip breakfast and lunch or only eat veggies/fruits during this time then only have dinner (pushing it back as far as i can into the evening) so i can go to bed and sleep through any hunger. waiting this long for dinner makes me feel fuller or too nauseous to eat more. ☆
☆ a cup of coffee will help with and deter cravings in the morning. i don't like coffee so i would force myself to drink it and sip water afterwards to help with the taste. chewing gum also would help! ☆
☆ hate to say it but exercise really does impact the quickness (as someone who has always hated it and always said i would never do it) walking either 10,000 steps per day or 30-60 minutes on a treadmill. biking is a good way too. i would listen to music, watch a show or walk with friends to make it more enjoyable. ☆
☆ sleeping when you start to feel hungry and don't want to eat anything. this worked really well the farther i got in my progress due to the lack of energy and constant exhaustion. i slept most of the day a way when i wasn't working which made it easy to go long periods without eating. eventually you stop feeling the hunger. ☆
☆ stay busy! instead of eating do something else! clean, shower, read, draw, scroll online, paint your nails, dye your hair, brush your teeth. etc ☆
☆ try not to plan out meals too much. the less i think about food, the less i end up eating. eventually you just forget you're even hungry once you keep telling yourself you don't care. convince yourself food is really disgusting and if you do eat, make yourself overthink the textures, the taste, every little aspect to trick yourself into getting grossed out. ☆
♡ stay safe loves, remember recovery is still encouraged! ♡
#tw 3ating d1sorder#tw 3d bl0g#tw 3d vent#tw @n@ blog#tw @na#tw @na diary#tw @na vent#tw ana bløg#tw ana ed#tw ana mia#light as a feather#light as a 🪶#tw ed ana#tw ana rant#anadiet#ana angels🪽#tw an0rexia#tw ed disorder#tw eating issues#tw skipping meals#tw ed trigger#tw ed bløg#tw mia blog#tw ed not ed sheeren#tw ed mia#tw ed bllog#tw 3d diary#tw 3d diet#tw 3d blog#tw 3d not sheeran
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sorry to spn post in 2023 but 5x18 “point of no return” truly episode of all time. dean is angry his brother and boyfriend and father figure want him to live and decides to be a cunt about it. cas is angry dean plans to die and decides to be a cunt about it. you know what? blow me, cas. famed destiel mocking wink. adam’s back and he’s a cunt about it. sam tries to relate to the youths but fails miserably bc of his youngest child syndrome. cas beats dean up in an alley. I rebelled for this?! then carries him home and puts him to bed. episode’s not over! gotta go rescue adam. dean suggests cas is faster than 5 angels and thus can easily escape them then immediately gets upset when cas’s plan is to take on 5 angels by himself. it’s suicide, he says. maybe, but then I won’t have to watch you fail, replies cas, cuntily. then he pulls out a box cutter and mutilates himself. absolutely insane. cw network what were you thinking.
#me#supernatural#destiel#hate to say it#spn#but some things never change#I’ve been rewatching random episodes and that’s a dangerous game bc it means I can skip all the ass ones#and trick myself into thinking the show’s good again
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There is simply
too much tv
to keep up with.
Why do I keep trying to force myself to stay up to date with shows that i don't even like or find mediocre, just because they are popular & i want to be in the know
#this is not about any one show in particular; it is about a lot of shows#let's just say that i'm not a very comedy-oriented person#but comedies are very popular right now on tumblr so i just keep on watching them#people are having fun giffing & chatting abt them so i think i will have fun watching it too#but i just end up constantly wondering when we will get to the good part that makes the show beloved#until i get to the end. and realize. it was ALL supposed to be the good part#and i have once again tricked myself into watching multiple hours of something that i did not enjoy & is clearly not for me
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Good Girls at the Slumber Party
CW: Hypnosis
*tap*
My eyes fluttered open, where am I? Had I fallen asleep during the movie? I found myself on the floor of a dimly lit bedroom, I was restrained…no I was being held. Arms wrapped around me in a tight hug. I looked up and I saw a girl sitting in a desk chair, she smiled down at me
“Did you sleep well, pet?”
My memories started to return…the slumber party, the movie, the spiral…this girl…I started to struggle against the arms holding me, which elicited a giggle from behind me.
“Now now, settle down sweetie”
The Girl in the chair waggled a disapproving finger at me, then before I could react she reached forward and-
*tap*
…
*tap*
My eyes fluttered open, where am I? I felt arms around me, holding me in a tight embrace. And I heard a chorus of laughter and giggles from all around. I looked to see…everyone, everyone from the slumber party seated in a circle around me. They were all looking at me, smiling. All their gazes made me freeze in embarrassment. What had I done that was so funny? What happened? I remembered the slumber party, the movie, the spiral…the girl…The girl sitting in the chair just in front of me. She smiled down on me with a light in her eyes
“Oh..so precious…you’ll make a wonderful pet”
“P-pet?” I stammered, I tried to struggle against the embrace that held me, I glanced back up in time to see her hand coming toward my-
*tap*
…
…
*tap*
My eyes fluttered open, I was staring directly into someone's eyes. I felt hands on my cheeks, holding my head
“Shhhhhh darling, shhhhhhh”
A familiar voice…from the party…right the slumber party, the movie, the spiral…the-
“Shhhhh, just relax for a moment, don’t think just listen”
Her hand gently ran down my face, crashing my train of thought. I tried to ask a question but it just came out as incoherent babbling. Just as I was starting to get my thoughts in order I felt her-
*tap*
…
…
…
*tap*
My eyes fluttered open, I-
*tap*
…
…
*tap*
My eyes-
*tap*
…
…
*tap*
…
…
*tap*
…
…
*tap*
…
…
…
“There we go, you're ready to listen now. Kelsey, could you come over here?”
“Yes Mistress!”
“Good girl, just get on your knees right there okay? Perfect, smile at your friend. Good. Now pay attention to Kelsey here alright? She’s going to demonstrate how the button that turns off your brain works. Just tap her on the forehead and…there she goes. Look at her sleeping so deeply, so prettily. So perfectly relaxed now that her brain is off, and now we bring her back with another…tap, and she’s back. How do you feel Kelsey
“I feel wonderful Mistress”
“Good girl, now let's show your friend a new trick, are you paying attention sweetie?”
Everything felt heavy and slow, I was wrapped in a warm comforting embrace, it felt like I was in a dream
“yes…”
“Very good, now when a good girl gets her button pressed, her brain turns off. Press it again and it comes back on. But what happens when we hold it down? Let's find out, ready Kelsey?”
Before Kelsey could answer, she reached over and pressed a finger into her forehead. At once Kelsey’s mouth dropped open she took on a vacant expression. Then her eyes rolled back, fluttering…
“There we go, now Kelsey are you awake or asleep?”
“I am awa…aslee…”
She mumbled
“That’s right, you’re not awake or asleep, you’re both!”
The girl in the chair looked at me to explain
“You see, it's kinda like with a computer. You can turn it on or off with a button, but if you hold it down you can do a hard reset, and I can install new instructions before booting it back up. What are your instructions Kelsey?”
“I am a Slumber Party Slut”
“And what does that mean?”
“It means I do whatever any girl at the slumber party tells me to do”
“Good girl! Now it's time for you to receive some new instructions, you brought a friend to take your place, so now you are a Slumber Party Slave. What are you Kelsey?”
“I am a Slumber Party Slave”
“That’s right, a slumber party slave’s job is to tell the sluts what to do, and train them to be very Good Girls for Mistress. And of course…to use them however you like. Now it seems your friend is in need of some basic training, what are you going to do Kelsey?”
“I’m going to make her into a Good Girl, I’m going to make her into a Slumber Party Slut”
“Very good slave”
She removed her finger from Kelsey’s head, and her eyes finally snapped shut. She would have collapsed in a heap if the girl in the chair wasn’t propping her up. The girl turned to me and smiled one last time
“You two have fun”
She tapped Kelsey on the forehead again and she opened her eyes. Then the girl got up from her chair and left the room as Kelsey started moving towards me. My mind was feeling less foggy now, and suddenly adrenaline coursed through me as I tried in vain to struggle free. Much to the amusement of whoever was holding me
“Kelsey! Please just…wait a second”
She just smiled at me, and reached toward me. I had to resist, I had to fight. I tried to focus on staying awake. But all I could think about was the look that had been on Kelsey’s face while she was-
*tap*
I felt myself fall asleep…but I didn’t fall asleep, it was like drifting off but never quite sleeping. Just the falling and falling…falling…falling…falling…falling...falling…
“You are a Good Girl”
falling…falling…falling…falling…falling...
“I am a Good Girl”
falling…falling…falling…falling…falling...
“Good girls love Mistress, Good Girls obey”
falling…falling…falling…falling…falling...
“I Love Mistress, I obey”
falling…falling…falling…falling…falling...
“You are a Good Girl”
falling…falling…falling…falling…falling...
“I am a Good Girl”
falling…falling…falling…falling…falling...
“You are a Slumber Party Slut”
falling…falling…falling…falling…falling...
“I am a Slumber party Slut”
falling…falling…falling…falling…falling...
“You love to serve other Good Girls, you will do whatever any other Good Girl tells you to do”
falling…falling…falling…falling…falling...
“I love to serve other Good Girls, I will do whatever any other Good Girl tells me to do”
falling…falling…falling…falling…falling...
“You are a Slumber Party Slut”
falling…falling…falling…falling…falling...
“I am a Slumber Party Slut”
falling…falling…falling…falling…falling...
“Good Girl”
falling…falling…then she lifted her finger
…
…
…
…
*tap*
My eyes fluttered open, my friend Kelsey was smiling at me. Where was I? Of course, I was at the slumber party. I was wrapped in a warm cozy hug, but whoever it was let go of me. Kelsey stood and looked down at me. I felt unsure of myself sitting on the floor in front of her
“Uh...what now?” I asked, feeling stupid. Kelsey just kept smiling at me.
“Now you can eat me out, slut”
I just nodded and crawled toward her, I was a very Good Girl
#hypnosis#hypnok1nk#brainwashing#hypnostory#mind control#shortstory#hypnotized#part2 of Peer Pressure but I feel like it stands up pretty well on its own#will there be a part 3? maybe#got a few ideas let me know if that's what you wanna see XD#god I need someone to do this to me
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Contains: smut, fem reader, sexting, masturbation
Think about your long distance boyfriend who waits patiently all day for the moment he can talk to you. He counts every hour, every minute, every second. He just needs you.
Your long distance boyfriend who fills your phone with text messages throughout the day, telling you about every small thing, about how much he misses you, telling you he loves you over and over again.
Your long distance boyfriend from whom you often get pics of his hard dick with the caption "please tell me how you would own this cock mommy". He knows what effect they have on you.
Your long distance boyfriend who sends you vocal messages and you can hear the sloppy sounds in the background. "I couldn't take it anymore mommy...ahh~ I just need-ed to...to...f-fuck". And his voice sounds so good when he's needy for you that you immediately reach down between your legs to press on your aching clit, wishing he was there so you could make him sink his face in your dripping folds.
Your long distance boyfriend who starts fantasizing about you when he goes to bed at night and before he can even realize what is happening he's already humping the sheets and letting out soft whines. So he texts you telling how much he needs you and you reply almost immediately since it's already become a routine to help him get off at night.
"You need me sweet boy?" you text him, knowing the answer.
"So bad mommy. Please..."
"What is it you need sweetheart?"
"To have you use my cock to feel good. Just use me like a dildo mommy I need to feel your wet and warm pussy around my cock please it hurts so bad just please please please"
Poor boy was so desperate but there was nothing he could do so he covered his palm in lube and grabbed his sensitive cock, moaning your name as he jerked off, as though it could trick his mind into believing you were actually there.
Your long distance boyfriend who films himself when he cums and sends it to you. Usually you could see only his lower body, his hand stroking his cock desperately, his legs shaking and his moans filling your ears. Other times, he'd masturbate in front of a mirror and record it, showing you his full body as he cums. You can see his ecstatic face, the way his eyes roll in the back of his head.
"Am I...ahh~ pretty like this mommy? Am I a good boy?"
"Ngh- mommy I wish you were here to f-fuck me in f-front of the mirror and ahh~ make me...look at myself..."
"Oh god mommy I'm such a bad boy. I'm acting like such a slut sending you this but I don't care. It feels too good. I love you mommy"
#smut#dom reader#sub!character#dom!reader#sub character#subby men#subby boys#dommymommy#dom mommy#domme mommy#fanfiction
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wildflower
❁ pairing: fake bf!jaehyun x fem!reader
❁ tags/warnings: angst, fluff, smut!, fake dating turned real, protected&unprotected sex (reader is on pill), oral (f&m receiving), fingering, breast&nipple play, hickies, spanking, kissing/making out, pet-names (baby, babe, beautiful), different positions, multiple orgasms, arguing, cursing, slight cheating (at the end), nudes, suggestive texting
❁ w.c: 11.9k!
❁ a.n: i’m back with a second release! next release will def be a different member, && possibly also inspired by another song by billie (her new album just too good ㅠㅠ ! ) i love u all, stay safe! jiji out 🤍
“i should put it all behind me, shouldn't i? but i see her in the back of my mind, all the time.”
“i'd never ask who was better, 'cause she couldn't be more different from me. happy and free…”
“did i cross the line? you say no one knows you so well, but every time you touch me, i just wonder how she felt. valentine's day, cryin' in the hotel i know you didn't mean to hurt me, so I kept it to myself.”
kim yuna is her name. she was one of my closest friends, knowing her since primary school. i loved her like she was my own flesh and blood. nothing could ever come between us, well that’s what i thought… that was until he came into her–our lives.
jeong jaehyun.
it was a good 5 years that the two of them were together. heck everyone was sure you the pair would get married, have a family, and grow gray and old together. yet, they seemed to fall out of love and let one another go.
i remember that night, the night she came over to me crying on my shoulder. it was just the two of us that night, i held her tight, trying everything in my power to comfort her. i just couldn’t fathom how someone like jaehyun, who once showed her the world could let her go. love was a complicated thing, an inexplicable feeling that could dissipate in the blink of an eye.
so from that day on, it was just us two. “you’ll never leave me right, y/n?” i recalled yuna’s soft voice as we ate breakfast the following day. “of course not,” i replied. it became my mission to be with yuna forever, nothing in this world– universe could tear us apart.
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
july. the hot summer days rolled around, and so did he. i think the universe liked to mock me, play tricks or whatever because jeong jaehyun stood before me. in the short span of the months since their breakup he seemed to have changed, his aura seemed different, unrecognizable even.
“i knew i’d find you here,” he spoke. i looked at him with a puzzled expression, “if you came to get back with yuna, she doesn’t want to see you ever again!” a low chuckle emitted from his throat, “funny, i’m actually here for you.”
i was beyond confused, what could he want with little ol’ me? “me? what kind of business do you have with me?!” “if you come with me, i’ll be glad to tell you.”
“if you can’t tell i’m kind of in the middle of work right now,” i said, and i really was. my shift at the cafe was today and i wouldn’t be able to get off until a couple more hours. “then i’ll come back for you. you’re off at 5, right?” I didn’t respond, just signaling him with a nod of my head.
it didn’t take long before he was gone, leaving me so puzzled. why was he showing up now? how did he know i got off at 5? but most importantly, what could he want with me? when yuna and him were together, we weren’t particularly close to the point we could call each other friends, so whatever just happened right now has every right to leave me confused.
he sure is a man true to his word. when i opened the cafe doors, there he was leaning against his car. “get in,” he said. i raised a brow, “are you planning to murder me jeong?” he laughed, “no, why would i?” he walked along to the other side, opening the door for me. i hesitantly got in. once we both were in, he drove to whatever destination he was taking me to. i prayed he really wasn’t going to outright murder me.
the car ride was silent, besides the low music from the radio. r&b, his favorites as yuna used to tell me about. i gazed out the windows, watching the tall buildings and fancy dressed people walk. a couple minutes later we arrived at our destination, an underground parking lot. yep definitely getting murdered.
he opened the door and i stepped out, bracing myself for death. however, instead of that i was met with his hand on my shoulder which caused me to flinch. “relax, i told you i wasn’t going to murder you.” i let out a relieved sigh, “then what are we doing in a sketchy parking lot?” “we’re heading to my apartment,” he said.
“wait, wait, wait! i am not sleeping with you!” he looked at me, laughing a couple moments later “what? no?! i’ll tell you once we’re inside.” he didn’t let me utter another word before he guided me inside an elevator and pressed the button to the last floor.
jeong jaehyun screamed money. the man was rich, his father was the former ceo of a big corporation, to which jaehyun now inherited. it made sense why he lived in such a lavish building and owned such a luxurious car. though behind the facade, the man had his trauma. his mother died in a car accident when he was little, which is why he has no driver as it was his family driver who led his mother to her death. i only know all this information on him because of yuna, when they were together he was all she could talk about nights on end. it was annoying, but people in love are… well crazy in love.
when we finally made it to his floor, we stepped out. i followed behind him as we made it to his front door. he put in his code and let me in. i began taking off my coat and shoes when he spoke. “anything to drink?” he asked. “water is fine,” i replied.
“make yourself at home, the living room is straight ahead. you can wait for me there,” he says. i walked further into his apartment, it was minimalist. the whole space just screamed him, jaehyun. i sat in the –comfortable– black sofa whilst i waited for him. i’d hope this talk wouldn’t take so long. i texted yuna i wouldn’t be back until later today. since their break-up she began living with me.
he walked into the living room with two glasses of water in hand, handing me one. he sat besides me, on my left side. i took a sip of my water, clearing my dry throat. “so? what sort of business do you have to settle with little ol’ me?” i asked.
i turned to face him, his eyes set on me. his expression turned serious, his thoughts unreadable. i suddenly became really nervous, an unsettling feeling in my stomach.
we remained in silence until a beat or two later he finally spoke. his words leaving me all the more speechless that i needed him to repeat what he just said. “what? what did you just say?”
“date me.”
he couldn’t be serious right now. his ex’s best friend? he must have some humorous side to him because what the actual fuck was he saying?
“quite the bullshit jeong,” i slightly raised my voice. i was feeling slightly irritated now because just what in the world is jeong jaehyun thinking?!
he propped his elbow on the side of the sofa, “i’m not joking. date me y/n.”
“how can i-” he interrupted me mid sentence, “i’m kidding well kinda. listen i just need you to pretend you’re my girlfriend.”
pretend to be his girlfriend?! is he in his right mind? “what? why?” i questioned him. no matter how much i tried to make sense of the situation, i just couldn't comprehend it, it was impossible to.
“just one month, that’s all. i just need to prove to my father that i do have someone in my life so he could quit with the whole blind date bs.”
“b-but why choose me?” his intense gaze never faltered, “hmm, i don’t know. i just felt like you were the only woman capable of agreeing to such a thing, and plus you’re the only woman i felt like i was on somewhat good terms with.”
“good terms? may i remind you, you dated and broke my best friend's heart!?” his eyes softened, “look yeah i could’ve guessed you hate me now, but i’m sorry… what happened between me and her was mutual, some things were just never meant to be…”
some things are just never meant to be. i wonder what he means by that. yuna never really gave me the details surrounding their break up, so i suppose all this time i assumed it was because jaehyun had done something. however, the way his face softened at the mention of their relationship made me wonder if they’re was more to the story than yuna had led off.
“of course you don’t have to agree to it if you don’t want to,” he said when he noticed how lost in thought i was. my mind just circulating on him, yuna, and his proposal. would it be a bad idea to accept his offer? i mean i’d just have to put up with him for a month… i even doubt yuna would ever find out.
i brushed off any further thoughts and looked at jaehyun straight in his eyes. my mouth hesitated, was i really making the right choice? “i- i’ll do it. i’ll pose as your girlfriend for one month.” it was strange, after i released those words it felt like something within me ached, regret screaming at me. truly y/n… were you making the right choice…?
i watched as jaehyun’s eyes widened, possibly from not expecting me to accept his proposal. “really? you’ll do it!” his voice sounded a little too excited. i was scared.
“y- yes,” my mouth spoke for itself.
“great! then i’ll sort you out on the details,” jaehyun explained. i followed along as jaehyun explained how this arrangement would go. we’d only meet on days in which we would need to visit his father, we planned out our story on how we’d met and such, and we decided it’d be best to exchange contacts to make things easier.
i stared at my phone, jaehyun, read the screen. i sighed, i really was doing this. “then now that it’s all settled, let me drive you back home,” he announced. in all honesty, i was going to reject his offer, but then i remembered how late in the night it was, and how i don’t feel all too comfortable riding in a taxi this late at night.
so now here i was in his car once more, and it made me realize how many more times in the future i’d be situated in this exact same spot. the car ride was silent, except for the music playing in the background which made up for the utter silence.
when we arrived, i thanked him for the ride. “it was nothing,” he said. i’ll message you when my father tells me to go visit him again.” “mm, sure thing,” i replied, as i reached for the car handle and opened the door. i took one final glance at jaehyun before exiting his vehicle. through the moonlight i could still see his face light up into a smile, accentuating his dimples.
thump.
that was weird, “see you later then,” i swiftly said as i felt like i needed to get out of this car as soon as possible. with a final goodbye i finally made my way to my apartment. i opened it, noticing the television was on in the living room. yuna must’ve stayed up trying to wait until i’d arrived.
“i’m home!” i slightly yelled. i began making my way to the living room where she was. “what took you so long, you said you’d come back as soon as possible,” she said.
“sorry, it seemed more things needed to be discussed.” i felt outright terrible. lie after lie came out of my mouth when yuna questioned why i was out for so long.
i had to keep the meeting with jaehyun a secret until i die. who knows how yuna might’ve react knowing i, her bestest friend, was out with her ex. not to mention how i’d just agreed to become his fake girlfriend.
i sighed, in which yuna noticed. “are you sure everything is alright?” she asked. i embraced her in my arms, resting my chin on her shoulder. “yes, i assure you nothing bad happened.” i let go of her a second later, “now let’s go rest. i’m sure we’ve both had a long day.” she nodded, taking one last glance at me as i stood watching her walking to her bedroom.
“good night, y/n.”
“good night yuna,” i replied back as i turned my body to walk to my bedroom. i wanted nothing more but to soak myself in a warm bath and recount just what the hell my life was or is going to become. i did just that, spending quite a bit of time in the bath before i headed off to bed. i wrapped myself in my bed sheet, the effects of the bath dawning over me. i felt myself relaxing into a deep slumber. no matter how chaotic today was, i felt most at peace here in my bed.
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
since that day i have had yet to receive a message from jaehyun. it felt almost as if that day never had happened, like some part of my imagating– a dream, no a nightmare.
ping.
great. the universe indeed must find enjoyment in mocking me. there it was, a message from jaehyun.
jaehyun: my father asked me to come around tomorrow. could you make it?
y/n: sure thing. what time?
jaehyun: around noon sounds fine?
y/n: okay
jaehyun: great! i’ll tell him you’ll be coming with me.
jaehyun: i’ll come pick you up tomorrow.
y/n: alright, see you tomorrow.
i sighed as i read his last message, see you tomorrow. tomorrow’s the big day. the first day of our whole hoax. i wonder if his father would buy into it considering the fact that me and jaehyun have had very little history together. whatever, i’m sure we’d find our way around it.
i got up from my chair, exiting the employee lounge. my break was almost over so i shut down any further thoughts and focused only on the tasks at hand.
hours later, i readied myself to leave the cafe. i realized it would be rather rude of me to not bring something to give his father so i tried to as quickly as possibly to make it to the shopping center before it closed. I strolled along, hopping from store to store. nothing really was catching my eye, in fact i had no idea what to buy! i felt like it’d be quite troublesome to text jaehyun about it, so i opted out of it and just went with whatever was going to capture my attention.
after a few more rounds, i finally found something. these really eccentric and beautiful shot glasses. i prayed that mr.jeong was a drinker because if not then i’d really would want to jump off the face of the earth.
shot glasses in hand, i made my way to pay for them. i gotta say they were quite the price tag, but that didn’t matter. this was all so i could win the favor of jaehyun’s father tomorrow. really, really prayed he drank.
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
d-day. i could barely get a wink of sleep last night. nervousness, a bit of excitement, and worry overcame me last night. would we really be able to pull this off? what if his father disapproved of me? gosh, i really am a worrying mess.
as i got ready, i put on my best outfit. it was one that seemed fit to make a good impression. I opted for a natural make-up look and some loose curls. i checked my phone once again, 11:45 a.m. 15 minutes to spare, i rushed to the kitchen. although i felt too nervous to digest anything right now, i couldn’t go on a completely empty stomach. so i toasted myself some bread and poured myself some orange juice. quite the breakfast i gotta say.
as i finished up i heard as my phone began ringing. must be jaehyun, i thought. i rushed to my bedroom where my phone was placed on my nightstand. surely enough i was right, it was jaehyun calling.
i picked up, ���hello?” i spoke. “hey, y/n i’m almost at your place. you ready?” he said in my ear. “y-yeah just waiting for you,” i replied. Is it just me or did that sound slightly weird? whatever it already came out of my mouth. y/n you fool.
“oh, okay then i’ll be there in 5.” “mm, i’ll start going down then,” i said and later bid him a goodbye although i’d see his face in a couple minutes. i rushed inside my closet, opting to pick out the most suitable looking purse. with purse and gift in hand i swiftly exited my apartment.
i stood up straight, trying to give myself boosting affirmations, and eliminating any worrisome or negative thoughts from my head. as i headed outside my apartment complex, there he was. he must’ve barely arrived as he was just getting out his car, until he spotted me. he waved me down.
i walked a little faster, stopping when we stood measly inches apart. “well, you look beautiful,” he says. i tried my hardest not thinking anything of his little compliment. “thanks… i suppose,” i responded earning me a slight chuckle from jaehyun. “ready to go?” jaehyun asks, and before i could respond he guides me to the passenger side of his car.
he opened the door for me in which i then sat down in the passenger seat. he then closes the door, walking over to the drivers side.
i expected for the car ride to be silent, but i then got the urge to bombard jaehyun with questions. “what kind of person is your father?” i asked first. i looked over at him noticing how he seemed to be deep in thought. “hmm, i suppose he isn’t some ruthless man you should worry about. trust me y/n he’ll like you, he is rather… weak.”
weak? mr.jeong? the man who built an empire. it seemed hard to believe, so i'll just have to see it with my own two eyes once we meet. the ride continued with me asking more questions in which jaehyun delightedly answered back to.
time seemed to have flowed quickly as we now made our way inside the gate surrounding the jeong residence. my nervousness was starting to kick in again. i began taking deep breaths, in and out, in and out, in and- “ready?” jaehyun spoke, startling me. i glanced up to where he now was, waiting for me to exit the car. it was all going too quick!
i waited for jaehyun, but when he took a little too long i looked at him. he looked pensive like he was in some very serious thinking. “something wrong?” i asked. he looked at me, eye-to-eye. “is it okay with you if we hold hands… you know to make it seem like we really are a couple.”
ah, right we’re supposed to pose as a couple right now. he had a point so i took his hand. i felt as he tensed up before seemingly relaxing down a bit after. “here we go,” he says as he rang the doorbell. i inhaled one last time, bracing myself for what's to come.
the door swung open a minute later, where we were both greeted by an older, yet young looking lady. “jaehyun!” she exclaimed. “Hello, ms.kim!” he replied back. they briefly hugged before he turned to me, “y/n this is ms.kim. she works for my father and was my nanny back when i was a child,” he explained. “ah, and ms.kim this is y/n my girlfriend,” jaehyun said as he turned back to speak to ms.kim.
“y/n! darling, wow you’re gorgeous! jaehyun sure hit the jackpot with you,” she teased, smiling brightly. i had to admit, i quite embarrassed. “no, no, no i’m sure i’m the lucky one here,” i smiled before continuing, “it’s a pleasure to meet you ms.kim!” instead of reaching out for my hand, she warmly embraced me in her arms. when we parted she spoke again, “ah, come in, come in!”
we walked inside the big home, my eyes soaking in every detail. “where’s my father?” jaehyun asked. “hmm, that old man? he’s probably in his office, i’ll go get him,” she says, but before departing she tells us– well i, “make yourself at home.”
when we were finally alone, i exhaled again. “she’s sweet, i like her,” i whispered, fearing they could hear me from where they were. “i’m glad she seems to like you already, she’s not quite the most accepting person.”
“by the way, i’ve been meaning to ask. what’s in that bag?” jaehyun asked me as he looked down to the gift bag i held in my hand. “ah, a gift for your father.” “a gift? you didn’t have to go out of your way to do all that,” he said. “i know, but i would’ve felt rather rude if i didn’t get him anything. speaking of which please tell me he drinks,” i said.
“i quite very much enjoy drinking,” a voice spoke. my head whipped back, my eyes coming in contact with a man who quite just looked like jaehyun but in an older version. they looked like copies of one another.
“ah, it’s nice to meet you mr.jeong, my name is y/l/n,” i said as i bowed. my hands clenched around the gift bag just a bit tighter. “oh dear, no need to do all that y/n!” he said. i raised myself, gathering the courage to walk towards the man.
“then i hope you can accept my gift… though it’s nothing too grand, i hope you could still enjoy it sir,” i spoke nervously as i handed him the gift bag. he took it, giving me smile just like jaehyun’s. “oh gosh, you didn’t have to. jaehyun! why didn’t you stop her,” he said, giving his son a stern look.
jaehyun just gives him a shrug of his shoulders. “thank you very much anyway dear. i’ll be sure to open it later, for now let’s have some lunch.” as we headed to the dinning table, i felt jaehyun’s hand in the lower part of my back. he leans down, “good job” he whispered into my ear. his hot voice, practically causing me to almost melt away. i glanced up at him, his eyes catching mine and that’s when he smiled fondly at me, in which i later returned as well.
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
lunch was more than great. the food was quite possibly the most delicious food i’ve had in a while. mr.jeong throughout the whole lunch would just go on and on talking about jaehyun’s life, his business, and other random subjects.
“jaehyun, be a dear and go with ms.kim to pick up the desserts,” his father spoke. oh, oh. this could translate to: leave, i wanna talk to y/n alone. fuck, fuck, fuck. i was getting even more nervous than i originally was.
jaehyun sighed, “alright,” he said. he got up, walking over to where i sat across from him and leaned down, “you’ll do great. i’ll try and be quick” he whispered into my ear. what i didn’t expect was after he said that he pecked my cheek. i just lowly said, “okay.”
“don’t be too harsh on her dad,” jaehyun said before leaving. jaehyun was gone before his father could say anything back, it was just the two of us for god knows how long. i’d had hoped it wouldn’t go past 15 minutes.
“don’t be too nervous, i’m not here to tear you apart,” his father spoke when he noticed how tensed up i’d gotten. i tried relaxing a bit, reassuring myself in my head that it’d be alright.
“i do gotta admit, when jaehyun first told me about you i was shocked. my son who would rather die than date a woman, telling me he has a girlfriend almost made me believe if i had made it to heaven,” he said, seemingly joking. i giggled a bit. “however, seeing you here today and the way he is around you i can tell he seems serious about this.”
serious my ass, i thought. it was all an act, god the oscar’s should give jaehyun an award for his stellar performance at fooling his father. “y-yeah,” i began saying. “when jaehyun first approached me, asking to take me out on a date, i was surprised as well. i mean little ol’ me with a man out of my reach… i have to admit i thought it was a foolish prank but then i realized how genuine he was. you raised him to be an amazing and loving man, mr.jeong.”
his face softened, “no, no i don’t deserve the credit, his mother does. he told you didn’t he, about his mother?” i nodded, even though it was technically yuna who had told me. “well, since my wife’s death my– no our lives have not been the same. everyday i lived in regret and sorrow, but then i remembered i had to keep going, not necessarily for me but for my son. his mother taught him everything she could’ve possibly taught him while she was still alive and for that i am forever grateful for.”
hearing him talk made my heart ache. i realized in that moment just how much not only jaehyun must’ve gone through but his dad as well. losing someone is not easy, getting over them is in fact far from it. “i’m sure she must be proud of the person jaehyun has become today,” i said. he smiled, “yeah, i’m sure she is. i guarantee you she would’ve adored you as well.” my heart broke all the more, even if this was a fake relationship those words still hit me.
i smiled weakly, lips twitching as i felt my eyes blurr. i blinked and there they were, tears streaming down my face. “oh dear, i didn’t mean to make you cry,” mr.jeong said, handing me a napkin. i wiped those darn tears away and later continued my conversation with his father.
contrary to my expectations, mr.jeong truly was a kind soul, weak to his family. i could also safely say that by the end of our conversation he seemed to like and approve of me. mission accomplished, i suppose.
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
jaehyun and ms.kim arrived well past 15 minutes, but that didn’t matter because the conversation between mr.jeong and i was a great one. “he didn’t tell you anything bad right?” jaehyun spoke as he ate a piece of his dessert. i glanced over at his father giggling, “hmm just how you got stuck in the snow one time and cried out because they took forever to take you out.” jaehyun groaned, “dad!”
mr.jeong crossed his arms, smiling. “what can i say, you were quite a cute child back then.” i laughed, and enjoyed the company. i could get used to this… but right, this would only last a month. i tried shoving such thoughts from my head, deciding on focusing on the present.
we stayed for a while longer, deciding to leave once the sun was starting to set. i bid ms.kim a farewell before doing the same to mr.jeong. “come back again soon dear, with or without him,” mr.jeong said. i smiled, “will do!”
and so after having said our farewells, me and jaehyun headed off. i would say me and him we’re making progress as the car ride back was filled with lots of chatter. the poor guy investigating me on what stories his father had told me about him.
“well, i’m glad he likes you,” jaehyun said, “yeah, guess we really pulled this off,” i replied.
“mmm, he seems relieved that i finally have someone in my life now,” he continued. however, i didn’t respond back. i was too busy probing on the thought of how it seemed like jaehyun never told his father about yuna. i was too scared to bring up the subject, remembering how jaehyun became when her name was ever mentioned, so i left it at that: an insignificant thought.
the car ride back to my apartment continued with chatter. when we had arrived, i lingered in his car for a while. “so, i’ll see you next time?”
we both looked at one another. jaehyun’s mouth fell open, then closing. he didn’t respond, just giving me a simple nod of his head.
“then, drive home safely. bye jaehyun,” i said, opening up the passenger door. before i closed it jaehyun spoke, “sleep well y/n.” my face flushed, “mmm, you too” i said before closing the door. i gripped my bag, walking into my apartment complex as quickly as possible. god, what is wrong with you?!
as i opened the apartment door, i noticed the television playing. “ah, welcome home y/n!” yuna said cheerfully. she stopped for a brief moment, observing me. “hmm, what’s this our little y/n out on a date?!” she teased.
what do i say? yes, no? i mean it’d be fine as long as i didn’t tell her the name right?
“y-yeah,” i said, rather shyly. her eyes widened, squealing “who is it! someone i know!?” she bombarded me with questions. “n-no! he’s just some guy i’m getting to know,” i said. i can’t believe i’m lying to my best friend right now, but then again it’s not like i can tell her: “hey! i’m going out with your ex boyfriend!”
“well if you ever decided to make it official, introduce me to the guy! he’s gotta need my approval after all,” she said smiling. yuna was always the opposite of me, she shined bright everywhere she went. it was no shocker how she managed to get someone like jaehyun to fall head over heels for her.
i laughed at her declaration, “sure thing.” we stayed up for a while longer before we both headed off to bed. today was surely a long day, going surprisingly better than i had anticipated. it all led me to ponder how things would go in the future. it made me both nervous and excited for what was to come.
however only later would i realize how i crossed the line. it would be far too late to go back.
weeks passed, days flowed by and life was surprisingly better than ever. since my first meeting with jaehyun’s father, i’d visited him a few more times and now july was just about over. today, i got ready to go see jaehyun’s father again. though, jaehyun described it as a quick visit. nonetheless, i rushed to get ready since he would be here in around 15 minutes.
i made my way to the front of my apartment complex where he was waiting. it was always the same routine every single time. part of me was growing accustomed to this, but i constantly reminded myself of the month period which for a fact was close to coming to an end.
i hated to admit it but i didn’t want this to end, but i couldn’t bring myself to tell jaehyun about this secret of mine. hating to admit i blushed everytime he showered me with the littest bit of –fake– affection, that effect he was just having on me. i hated to admit just how much i’d grown to like him…
“everything alright?” he questions me. i snapped out of my thoughts, my face facing his as he held the steering wheel. “y-yeah just didn’t get enough sleep,” i lied.
“sorry to drag you out like this, but i know how much my dad would’ve bugged me if i didn’t bring you along,” he chuckled, which caused me to smile. yup, i’m completely fucked.
when we arrived at mr.jeong’s residence we were greeted by ms.kim who informed us mr.jeong had some friends over. moments later, he walked in with said friends and introduced me to each one of them. his use of the word, “daughter-in-law” not going unheard by me. jaehyun must’ve heard it too.
i was too focused on the conversation between the men that i failed to notice when jaehyun leaned down into my ear whispering, “i didn’t know they’d be here, i swear. the old man told me he had something to tell me but in reality i thought he’d just found some excuse to bring you along.” i turned to him, our faces only centimeters apart, my eyes widened.
“i-i, it’s alright,” i whispered. jaehyun closed the small distance between us until i could feel his breath on my face and the light touch of his lips on mine.
“oh young people,” mr.jeong said.
shit, i was too caught up in the moment i had forgotten they were right in front of us. my face felt hot, my whole body did. just a single move and our lips would’ve met each other. “if you don’t mind, can you excuse us,” jaehyun spoke up as he got up. his hand, taking mine to guide me up.
“sure, sure. enjoy yourselves,” his father said. god, this was so embarrassing. before leaving, we said our goodbyes and headed back to his car. in the car it was silent, the air felt different; i couldn’t speak.
i opted to look outside through the window, but the unfamiliar landscape drove me to finally speak. “th-this isn’t the way to my apartment…”
a beat later he answered, “i know we’re heading somewhere first.” i wondered where that could’ve been, but i didn’t get to wonder for long as i soon recognized we were heading to his apartment instead. i wonder what he could’ve wanted.
once i was back into the familiar, yet unfamiliar apartment, we sat on his sofa. there was silence for a while, before he made the first move. “what would you say if we extend our agreement?” he asked, but his eyes didn’t meet mine.
“wh-what…” i said. i was confused what he meant by this, i mean i could interpret this a hundred ways. he scratches the back of his neck, “fuck. that’s not, well i do mean.. mm,” jaehyun said, he seemed at a loss of words.
there was a brief moment of silence again, before he spoke up again. “date me. no agreement, contract, anything of the sort.”
no fucking way! “huh? you want us to date for real, but-” he interrupted me before i could finish. “before you say anything more, i want you to know that in all honesty i don’t want this to end. i’ve enjoyed every moment we’ve spent together, your smile, laugh, and that bright light you radiate. i like every part of you y/n… i like you.”
my eyes widened. no way, this was a confession... jaehyun was confessing to me. did i feel him the same way he felt? were these feelings of mine more affection than friendship? who am i kidding, they were. the truth in fact was that i liked jaehyun romantically, i couldn’t deny it any longer.
“i-i like you too…”
i watched as his face softened, his dimpled smile making it’s appearance. his smile was the most precious and beautiful i’d ever seen. one of his hands made their way to my cheek, caressing it. his body inched closer, until there was only a small distance between us.
“can i?” he whispered. i nodded, shyly closing my eyes. i felt as his lips touched mine. they molded perfectly into mine, felt soft too. it was a gentle kiss, but it quickly became something i enjoyed with all my heart.
i parted away first, trying to catch my breath but i was already starting to miss the feeling of his lips on mine. so i leaned back into him, our kiss deepening more this time around. his tongue intruded inside my mouth, colliding with mine. he then bit into my bottom lip, but quickly kissed on it. jaehyun places his hands on each side of my hips, guiding me to straddle his lap without breaking the kiss.
we continued devouring one another, enjoying what the other had to offer. things only escalated further when his hands began traveling along my body. his fingertips left a trailing blaze of heat throughout me. my hips then began moving on their own, my lower area in the need of some friction. i felt his cock hardened as i continued grinding on him. his hands now on my hips, gradually helping me pick up the pace.
his lips letting go of mine just to say, “hold on.” in which i followed, wrapping my arms around his neck as he gets up, walking to what i then knew was his bedroom. jaehyun gently lays me on his bed, my eyes on him as he lifts his shirt, taking it off and tossing it somewhere in his spacious room. his eyes then meeting mine, causing a smirk to form on his face. “like what you see?” he teases. i felt my face heat up. “don’t you think it’s a bit unfair for me to be the only one without a shirt?” he continued saying.
i lift myself up from his bed, hands grabbing the hem of my shirt, getting it over my head and onto the floor. i noticed as jaehyun’s eyes never left mine, soaking me all in. i felt quite shy so i covered my breasts with my arms. jaehyun got closer, “don’t be shy now baby, you're beautiful.”
baby. beautiful. god, his sweet words were so beautiful. i once again did as he said, putting my arms down to my sides. he closed the distance between us, colliding his lips onto mine in a deep and passionate kiss. all the while his hands began working with the hook of my bra until it came off me. he parts, bringing his lips to kiss all over me from my cheek to collarbone. when he brought his lips to my neck however, i felt as he sucked harshly onto my skin, causing me to wince. he parts, muttering a “sorry” against my neck.
jaehyun was marking me up, claiming what was his.
traveling further down, he stops at my breasts. i felt as his lips kissed the valley of my breast before going onto one. he stuck his tongue out, brushing against my nipple. he licked the bud until it hardened, and then went over to my other neglected breasts to do the same. this however didn’t satisfy him, so he began marking me up again, adding biting my tits into the mix. the attention and pleasure he was giving my tits was more than enough to make me a whining and needy mess. i was sure if he were to take off my skirt right now, my thighs would be dripping.
it was as if he was reading my mind because one of his hands began traveling inside my skirt until it cupped my sex. i moaned into the spacious room. “this wet already?” he muttered against my breast, letting his mouth room further down my body until it reached my belly. for a brief moment his hand comes back up from my skirt, using both his hands now to take off my skirt. while he tossed the skirt somewhere around the room, i began taking off my white laced panties. his eyes glued to me, it was like we were the only two people in this world.
with my panties off, i felt as the cool air hit my warm sex. jaehyun pried my legs open, using two of his fingers, to slide along my cunt. he gathered some of my juices onto his fingers only to bring them to his mouth and lick it up. “mm, so sweet. might get addicted, baby,” he says sweetly. he then brings his fingers back onto my cunt, teasing me. “p-please,” i whined.
“hmm? please what baby?” he says, staring at my desperate state. “to-touch me… your fingers, in me please,” i begged with the man above. jaehyun had you wrapped around his finger, practically putty in his hands.
jaehyun simply smiles before intruding his fingers into your hole. he feels as your gummy walls clenched around his fingers, squeezing him so tight. his eyes blessed with the sight of you trying to grind against his hand as you arch that pretty back off his bed. your beautiful singing of his name and moans we’re blessing his ears. so, so beautiful– he thought.
his fingers plunged in and out of you at a fast pace, you felt yourself nearing the end. the knot in your stomach threatening to unleash at any moment, just a little more, a little…
“don’t worry baby, go on cum… i got you,” jaehyun groaned. it was then when he brought his thumb into the mix, using the digit to rub your clit so deliciously. you grip the bed sheet, eyes rolling back until you saw white. your orgasm came crashing out, better than any previous orgasms you’ve or other guys have given you.
i panted, trying to catch my breath from that mind-blowing orgasm. my eyes returned to focus back to jaehyun as he licked his hands clean. when he finished he opened the drawer on his nightstand, fishing out a condom. unzipping his pants, he pulls them down along with his boxers until his cock sprung out. the poor thing looked hard as a rock, his tip red and leaking with pre-cum. my mouth nearly drooled at the sight, i wanted it in my mouth, a taste of it. “next time baby, right now i really wanna be in you,” he says, when he notices how focused i was on his cock.
he opens the condom, then sliding it onto his cock. “can you go lay over there baby,” he says, pointing in the direction of where his pillows were. i quickly made my way over there, laying back on my back. the mattress dipped when jaehyun got on, and he stopped in front of me. one of his hands wrapped around his cock. “open up for me baby,” he says in a low voice. opening my legs for him, he shuffled a bit further. his cock reached my pussy, where he used my wetness on the condom.
“ready?” he says, eyes staring straight at mine. i nodded my head, yes. all the confirmation jaehyun needed to start pushing his cock inside you. he was unlike any guy you’ve had before. the delicious stretch of his cock has you a moaning mess, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him deeper. the tight squeezing of your pussy around his cock doesn’t go unnoticed by him as it has him groaning and moaning into your ear.
“you feel so good, baby. so perfect. it’s as if you were made for me, this pussy was made for me,” he whispered into my ear. his words ignited me even more, my pussy clenching around him all the more. when all of him was in me, he lifted his body up and grabbed my thighs on both his hands. “don’t squeeze me too tight now or i won’t last long,” he says before sliding his cock out, leaving his tip inside.
gripping me tighter, he pounded his cock back inside me. thrusting ruthlessly and hard, i could feel as he reached deep inside me– his tip kissing my cervix beautifully. the pace didn’t falter even after what felt like 10 minutes. i moaned and chanted his name like it was the only word in my vocabulary. drool escaping my mouth and eyes watering with tears, was the state i was in. “who’s making you feel so good baby?” he says slightly panting.
when i didn’t answer, jaehyun lifted one of my legs higher. in this position, his cock pierced inside me even deeper than before. i could practically feel his nestled in my womb. “mmm~ ahh, uhh fuck. y-you! you! only you are jae!” i moaned loudly.
satisfied with your response, jaehyun decides to give you a reward. he places his thumb back onto your swollen clit, abusing the poor thing. with every pinch and rub to your clit you were growing closer. however, you felt strange. as you tried voicing your concern, jaehyun shushes you with his mouth on yours.
by this time it was too late, you came gushing out like a waterfall. he parts from the kiss, saliva connecting the two of you. he looks down to where you both were conjoined, “let me guess, that was your first time squirting?” you nodded dumbly, too fucked out of your mind. “wow, i’m honored baby,” he says as he continues fucking me through my orgasm. through my hazy state i noticed as his pace began to falter, slowing down a bit.
his cock twitched inside me, allowing himself to thrust a couple more times before he came into the condom. the air of his room smelled like sex, evidence of what had just transpired. he pulls out, taking off the condom as he walks over to dispose of it. “that was amazing baby,” he says, going back to lay beside me.
his arms wrap around my body, embracing me as we laid there. “i’ll clean you up in a bit, let us just enjoy this for now,” he says. before i knew it my eyes fluttered shut. i passed out for the night, too exhausted to stay awake for even a second more.
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
i stirred my eyes open, coming face to face with the bright summer sun. i got up, taking my surroundings in. an unfamiliar bedroom… no wait, this is jaehyun’s bedroom. in that moment, the flashbacks of what happened last night replayed in my head. i turned to the other side of the bed, noticing it empty, but the scrambled bed sheets signified he was in fact there. i looked down to notice myself in a shirt that wasn’t mine, jaehyun’s.
fuck. wait… why did it dawn to me now that i literally agreed into becoming jaehyun’s –real– girlfriend. yuna... isn’t this betrayal? did i cross the line? i couldn’t ponder for too long before the bedroom door flung open.
jaehyun.
he wore gray sweats and a white t-shirt. “drooling already?” he teased coming to my side. i got up, sitting on the edge as i wiped my lips and felt as something wet touched the back of my hand. fuck i really was drooling. he laughed, going onto his knees, laying his head on my thighs. i combed a hand through his hair, “you’re quite the beast jaehyun.” he glances up, “what are you trying to say?” he says raising a brow.
“you know exactly what i mean!” slightly raising my voice. he still acted like he had no idea what i was referring to. “ughh, thanks to you i could barely walk,” i said shyly. it was true though, getting up from the bed, i could feel the ache.
he chuckled, “but you enjoyed it didn’t you?” i squinted my eyes, “we-well yes, but that’s besides the point! anyways did you clean me?” he nods his head, “yup, but you were sleeping so soundly i didn’t wanna wake you up, you’re quite the heavy sleeper babe.”
my heart nearly melted, “thanks jaehyun.” he smiled, a mischievous one in which i knew meant no good. “how about giving me a reward?” he asks sweetly. no matter how much i tried resisting i ended up giving in.
“i-thought this was a reward for you?” i tried saying as the sensation of his tongue running along my cunt cleared all normal functions from my brain. “it is,” he says as he raises his head to look into my lustful eyes. “your sweet pussy is such a delicacy for me. plus i haven’t had any breakfast yet,” he continues saying, giving me a wink at the end as he dove back in.
last night was not enough for jaehyun it seems so because you two were going right back at it throughout the morning. i mean not that you were complaining...
february 13th. the day before jaehyun’s birthday and also we can’t forget valentine’s day.
it has now been well over 6 months since me and jaehyun had begun dating and all of it has been a bliss. jaehyun truly was the best boyfriend i could ever ask for. everything seemed right, but then i spiraled into a panic. it wasn’t often but occasionally guilt would eat me away, my consciousness yelling at me. however it was too late to turn back now, not unless a time machine magically appeared. yet again, i didn’t regret a single thing… was it bad that i didn’t?
but i see her, yuna, in the back of my mind. all the time, like a fever. did i cross the line?
and i then realized that it wasn’t reassurance that i needed from jaehyun, it felt like something more, something i so desperately was trying to search for…
nonetheless today is his pre-birthday dinner! i can’t be moping around in depressing thoughts! quickly getting outta bed, i began getting myself ready. unlike other days, today i went for a cute some-what skin tight dress, heels, loose curled hair, and a tad bit more make-up. before making my way downstairs to meet up with jaehyun, i grabbed a small gift bag and tucked it inside my purse.
as i made my way down, i saw his car come rolling in. a smile making its way on my face as he gets out of the car to greet me. “you’re quite breathtaking,” he says as he pecked me on my lips. i let out a dreamy sigh, “and you’re quite the charmer.” he smiled, taking my hand to guide me to the passenger seat of his car. after shutting the door, he walks over to his door and begins the drive.
unfortunately, he knew about his pre-birthday dinner, only because i am not the world’s best driver so i can’t be the one to drive us there. i planned for it to be a small dinner at an italian restaurant we both enjoyed. however, what he was unaware of was about how i called the restaurant a couple days ago to inform them if they could bring out a cake. so technically i’m still seeing this as a whole surprise!
when we finally arrived at the restaurant, he took my hand in his to walk me. luckily for those reservations we made because if not we would’ve waited hours just to get a table. when we got situated at our table, a waiter came by not too later to take our orders. once we got our food, we ate while chatting about anything and everything. we enjoyed each other’s presence as we ate on a cool february night.
a while later i excused myself, under the circumstances that i had to use the restroom. yet in reality i was going to go inform the waiter to bring out the cake. i returned to my seat afterwards and waited for them to arrive.
“happy, happy birthday! happy birthday! happy birthday to you!” the waiters around us sang as they clapped their hands. i recorded the scene as jaehyun look bewildered, his cheeks adorning a pink-ish color. cute, i thought. one of the waiter places the cake on the table, and after they finished singing jaehyun blew the candle. the waiters later dispersed, leaving me and jaehyun alone.
“so this is why you wanted to come here?” he questioned. i smirked, “yup, yup and they so kindly agreed to it!” he sighed before giving me a slice of his cake. we continued chatted whilst we ate the very delicious cake. whereas i note jaehyun’s eyes never leaving me, watching me intently as i licked the icing off my fork.
jaehyun clears his throat, catching my attention, “w-we should get going soon.” i raised my brow, “huh, but-” he interrupted me before i could continue, “i have a better idea.”
“oh yeah, and what could that be?” i questioned him. “you’ll see. follow me,” he says, getting up and taking me by my wrist. we quickly stop by to pay before we leave. jaehyun’s pace slightly rushed.
when we arrived at the parking garage, he pinned me to the passenger door. not even a second later does he take my lips on his. he kisses me with such passion, lust, and hunger— even if he had just eaten. i was a bit bewildered at first but i soon sink into the kiss, my arms wrapping around his neck.
his knee comes in between my legs, as his hands began to roam my body. a hand slips under my dress, causing me to moan into the kiss when i feel his hand travel further up only stopping to rub two of his fingers against my pussy.
i pant as i part from the kiss, “s-stop, not here jae.” i felt hazy already, and as i looked at him i noticed those lustful eyes of his. “get in then, we’ll continue this somewhere else,” he mutters into my ear before pecking my temple. we rushed inside the car, leaving the parking lot as he drove us quickly to the nearest hotel.
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
we just barely made it inside the door when jaehyun’s desperate hands began removing the dress i wore, later pooling at the bottom of my feet. “fuck, when i saw you in that dress i wanted nothing more but to rip it off you and fuck you,” he mumbles into my ear as his hand begin to remove my panties. “no bra too? fuck, you’re going to be the death of me baby,” he groaned.
being completely naked with the cool door pressed against my back, jaehyun soaks me all in before using his fingers to rub against my cunt again. “this wet already? all for me, is that right?” he continues teasing. i let out a small whimper before muttering “yes.”
jaehyun quickly takes his hand away from my aching pussy, licking his fingers clean. he moans in satisfaction as he tastes my juices. using both his hands, he quickly begins removing his clothes, his hard cock resting against his stomach. he watches as i stare intently, bringing one hand to his cock he begins jerking it. fuck, now this is going to kill me.
“Get on your knees baby,” he says. i sank into my knees in no time, face only about an inch away from his leaking cock. “open,” he continues as he grabs the back of my head to inch me closer to his cock. my mouth falls open, making on “o” shape. “good girl,” he groans when his tip intrudes inside my mouth.
he slowly moved his cock furthur inside my mouth, but when i begin to slightly gag he stopped. “you can take it, ain’t you’re first time baby,” he says and he has a point, though it was just too big i could never seem to fit it without gagging, drooling, or tearing up. he begins moving his cock again, and i finally feel the tip reach down my throat, so deep. “that’s right, shoved down deep in ya,” he groans. he stays snugged in my mouth for a moment before telling me, “now your turn, suck me off baby.”
i place my hands against his thighs to move my head back, until only his tip was inside. i use my tongue to swirl around his tip, my hands soon helping in jerking the rest of his cock. i hear the way jaehyun’s moans and groans filled the room, my ears blessed.
i let go of his tip, bringing my tongue to lick him along his cock and pecking his tip. i repeated this on the other side, glancing up to look at jaehyun’s state. he was an absolute wreck already.
“come on baby, i told ya to suck it,” he groans. so i stop licking his cock, sinking his cock slowly into my mouth. “th-that’s it, your mouth feels so fucking good. cock fits all snug, ain’t that right baby.”
jaehyun’s words ignited a fire within me. i eagerly began sucking his cock, bobbing my head while he held me. while i was doing my ministrations on his cock, i felt my breathing getting constricted so i stopped. i kept the head in my mouth still, using my tongue to swirl around it.
once i felt well again, i took him back in. my hands traveled to his balls, fondling them as i continued sucking on him at a slightly faster pace. the noises he emitted signaled he was close to releasing. so in a despair, jaehyun’s hips began moving. he fucked his cock inside my mouth ruthlessly as i gagged and tears rolled down my face. yet still it felt so good; i didn’t stop the swirling of my tongue on his cock nor the fondeling on his balls.
“so close baby, just a bit more,” he moans. a couple more thrusting of his hips into my mouth, he releases inside it. the taste of his cum courses throughout me. he pulls his cock out, using his fingers to shove back any of his cum that had escaped. i swallowed all that he gave me, opening my mouth to show there was no more.
“get up and bend over,” his deep voice says. i do as he says once more, placing my hands on the door whilst my ass comes into his view. i hear him emit a pleased moan before groping my ass. “so beautiful,” he mutters.
you feel as he slides his cock in between ur ass, rubbing it against you. almost naturally you begin to move, you wanted nothing more but for him to fuck you. a low laugh comes out of his mouth before he slaps your ass. you couldn’t help but yelp in surprise. the coolness of the door, brushing against your already hardened nipples.
you feel as he slides his cock in between ur ass, rubbing it against you. almost naturally you begin to move, you wanted nothing more but for him to fuck you. a low laugh comes out of his mouth before he slaps your ass. you couldn’t help but yelp in surprise. the coolness of the door, brushing against your already hardened nipples.
it wasn’t long though before he slid himself inside you. his cock enters you almost smoothly. “so wet, it slid right in,” he chuckles, fingers digging into your ass.
he stays pressed against you for a while before he pulls back, cock sliding out too. jaehyun slides back in, those gummy walls of yours still tightening around his cock. he fucks you ruthlessly and brutally, not caring how loud you were because after all the noises coming out of you were a symphony.
his pace doesn’t falter, keeping it past 100. the sweet chants of his name, pushing himself forward. he slaps your ass more than once when he notices how you’d tighten around him even more. “i-i’m gonna cu-“ he interrupts you. jaehyun uses his hand to turn your head around, locking his lips onto yours. the two of you hungrily kissed one another, so lost in it that you failed to notice when his hand traveled down.
you moan into the kiss when you feel his digits, working on your clit. pinching and rubbing you so good that you felt your stomach tighten. letting go of his lips, saliva connecting you moan out loud when you feel your orgasm unleashing. you faintly hear the sound of it splashing onto the floor, making a mess. “good girl,” he praises you as he continues fucking into you.
your orgasm only made you tighten around him all the more, scrambling with jaehyun’s brain. he was getting close and you could feel it in the change in pace. his cock twitches inside you and he slaps your ass roughly one last time before you gush inside you. his hot white seeds painting your womb, stuffing you full.
jaehyun pulls out hesitantly, his eyes feasting upon your fucked state. his seeds slowly spilling down your legs. “not yet,” he mumbles before he effortlessly carries you to the bed.
he didn’t let you rest the whole night, continuing to spill deep inside you in the bed, against the wall, and in the bathroom where you two were supposed to “shower.” and well while he took you in the shower, it’d occur to you something important…
“happy birthday love,” you say as you kiss his lips. ah right, jaehyun remembers too that it was his birthday now. he smiles into the kiss, feeling your love. a long fucking later, the two of you collapse on the bed, both so utterly exhausted from the night’s activities. the last thing you remember was when he engulfs you into him, pecking your head as your eyes flutter shut.
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
the sun shines through the curtains, stirring your eyes open. you grumble as you turn to the other side of the bed, prying jaehyun’s hands off of you. you get up to use the restroom as you had the urge to pee.
once you finish your business, you go over to the sink to wash your hands, looking in the mirror. the hickies and love bites all over your body capturing your attention. that dumbass, you thought.
making your way out the bathroom, you notice jaehyun sitting on the edge of the bed. “awake already?” he asks. i smile, “i should be asking you that birthday boy.”
“come here,” he says. “i’m not gonna suck you off again,” i replied. his face saddened, “why not?” “i know you’re just teasing me,” i said. he chuckled before signaling me over. i go over to him, sitting beside him. “how’d you sleep,” he asks, resting his head on my shoulder. “like a baby,” i reply. “how about you?” he pondered for a moment, “the best i’ve ever slept in my whole life,” he answered. i giggled at his response. we stayed like that for a while, his head resting on my shoulder and mine on top of his, in silence before he looked up to kiss my lips. the kiss was gentle and full of love.
he pulls away, “i love you.” i smile at him— i know that you love me, you don’t need to remind me. “i love you too jae.”
soon after, jaehyun gets up saying he needs to use the restroom. i’m left alone in the room, lost in my own thoughts until i hear a phone ping. i turn to the nightstand beside the bed. jaehyun’s phone is the only one there. i inch closer to grab his phone as curiosity took over me.
phone in hand i press on the screen, a message displayed on his home screen. an unsettling feeling set in my stomach, nauseating even. my fingers moved on their own, inputting his pass code. then my fingers tap on the message’s app.
i froze. my heart stopped beating. the feeling of wanting to throw up arising in my throat. this couldn’t be, no what?
yuna…
what was her contact doing in his phone. it didn’t make any sense.
the message he received from her was simple: “happy birthday.” however there were 10+ messages left unopened. once again my finger moved on their own, opening their chat.
my eyes watered until eventually tears came spilling out of my eyes. i couldn’t believe what i was seeing. messages yuna sent over the course of our relationship. from “i miss you” to “i’m lonely, miss you fucking me.” and probably the worst of it, images of her bare and open displayed. i was beyond sick to my stomach.
however, that wasn’t even the bad part. as i scroll further up i found messages in which he had responded to. their conversations disgusted me, how could he do this while we dated? while he whispered to me he loved me? had it all really been nothing but a lie, a play?
“hey baby, how about we- shit!” jaehyun says coming out of the bathroom. he notices your sobbing state, his phone in your hands. he rushes over to you, “wh-what happened baby?” he asks. though as he reaches over to try and wipe the tears off your face, you swat his hand away. he widened his eyes in surprise, you’d never done this before.
you shove the phone to his chest, in which he takes it into his hands. all color drained from his face when he saw what it was that made you like this. “look y/n i can explain,” he starts off but you stop him. “explain what?! how since the start you’ve been cheating on me!?” i replied back in a harsh tone. i begin to get up from the bed, roaming the hotel room in search of my clothes. “j-just please, baby hear me out,” he continued.
“fine, i’ll hear you out,” i said, picking up my clothes. jaehyun begins, “i-i well fuck, where do i even begin,” he groaned, palming his face. you made a sour look, it’s so bad he doesn’t even know where to start, you think as you pull your dress over your body.
“you know when i first approached you asking to fill in as my fake girlfriend?” he starts, but when you don’t respond he continues. “you told me that day that if it was a ploy to get back with her, you wouldn’t do it…” again, he is met by your silence. “well, in truth y/n that was all there was to it. my father didn’t really care if i had someone in my life or not, i.. i just selfishly wanted her back. at the time however i knew she wanted nothing to do with me, so then popped the idea of using you as a means to get back with her.”
“you’re disgusting,” i say, crying all over again. his face showcasing hurt. how could he be the one hurt in this situation, you thought.
“you’re not wrong about that,” he says. “so then when did it start?” i questioned. “the day after we met my father,” he confessed. “that following day i went over to your apartment complex, waiting until she appeared. and well when she did, i confronted her. that day i pleaded with her, and so we spent the entire day together. we managed to clear our misunderstandings, and well we ended up.. in my bed,” jaehyun continued, hesitating to say the last words.
his bed? the very first place we spent passionately together… i couldn’t comprehend it, my heart ached so much it started going numb.
“after that night, we actually never saw each other again. instead we resorted to calling and eventually just texting. it went on for a while actually, in fact a couple months after we actually started dating…” every word coming out of his mouth was another stab to me, hurting me the more he continued. “however… the more time i spent with you, knowing you all the more i began realizing how i’d fallen in love with you,” he confesses. “bullshit,” i blurted out.
“it’s not… please believe me y/n,” he pleads with me. “how could i? why should i? you fucking lied to me jaehyun!” i shouted, every raw emotion coming out.
“fine… if you won’t believe me that’s fine but, y/n i truly did fall in love with you. i love you to this day, this very moment. and since realizing that i stopped answering her, it didn’t matter to me when she’d occasionally message me because all i wanted was you!” jaehyun says.
“love doesn’t mean lying jaehyun.” i watched as he opened his mouth again, but closed it soon after. he knew you were right. “i- i get that i was in the wrong but-” he starts by saying before i decide to cut him off. “enough of this jaehyun, no matter what comes out of that mouth of yours won’t change my mind.”
“wh-what do you mean,” he mutters, his lips trembling. jaehyun feared what you meant by this, he feared his number one fear coming true. that fear was none other than losing you.
“i mean that we’re over.”
your words hit jaehyun like a bulldozer. so hard he almost feels the pieces of his shattered heart. never once in his life has regretted his life, unlike today. he should’ve told you, he knows he should’ve but he was too cowardly to do so. and now he’s bearing the consequences, watching you deeply hurt because of his actions.
when you feel as though nothing more could be said or done, you grab your purse and walked to the hotel doorway. you faintly hear as jaehyun calls out to you, but you try to ignore it. however he grabs one of your arms by your wrist, stopping you just as you were about to open the door.
you turn back, “what?” you say in annoyance. “pl-please don’t leave. just tell me how i could fix things, you-” you interrupt him again.
more annoyed this time you say, “what don’t you get!? jaehyun we’re over! nothing you say or do now is going to change what happened.” he grips you a little tighter, causing you to look up at him. your heart almost sinks as you see him with tears rolling down his eyes like waterfalls. oddly enough you also begin to shed tears.
“p-please,” you plead with him. “just let me go jae. you and i both know this is irreversible.” his eyes soften, causing you to look down. you just couldn’t look at him, it hurt you even more. that was when you noticed the small gift bag in your purse.
his birthday present. you’d forgotten to give it to him. you know that now is not the right time to give it to him, but nonetheless you still decide to do so. taking out the small gift, you hand it over to him. that causes his hand to let go of your wrist so that he’d be able to take the gift in both his hands.
swiftly you grab the door handle, opening the door. you glance back one last time, a frozen jaehyun in the doorway. “goodbye jaehyun,” you say as you walk out. then right before the door closes you hear him say for one last time, “i love you, y/n.”
└───❀̥˚───❀̥˚┘
once you made it inside the elevator you slumped down to your knees, waterfalls of tears omitting from your eyes. you couldn’t believe it, jaehyun… how could he. moments of the two you flashed through your head.
part of you wishing you’d said more, questioned him more. like asking him: “do you see her, in the back of your mind? In my eyes?” but then again part of it felt like it made sense now, why you were always on edge.
as you walked along the side walk, you thought that perhaps this was for the best. i mean everything happens for a reason after all. one day this would be all but just a fleeting memory, a blurry memory i would have no recollection of. i’d hoped and prayed for that.
today. valentine’s day, cryin’ in the hotel… i know you didn’t mean to hurt me so i kept it to myself.
© jhdyuiee
2024.07.13
final a.n: as promised here is the other fic i planned to release 😛!! woohoo, this was a rlly fun one to write, since i deeply enjoy this song that the fic is inspired by. also ngl when i was writing the second snusnu scene i was playing cas new album “x’s” && started sobbing ㅠㅠ . oh pls anyhow i hope u enjoyed this one, it was quite long but felt worth writing 🤍 also! thank u for all the love on “million dollar baby !” i appreciated all the love and support thank uuuu! stay safe yall & love u all very much, jiji out 🤍 [ new fic out next week: expect haechan or doyoung 🤫 ] !
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Hii, I hope you're doing well, if not I'll hope things will go better!
I really liked your writing like it's so good!!
I have an sfw request about Ace.
So basically reader is feeling really sick recently so they spend a lot of time with Marco who gives them advices and all, and Ace gets jealous about this cause he thinks that reader is interested in Marco so one day when he's with the both of them he just says something like "oh I wouldn't want to be the third wheel" like something that clearly shows that he thought the two of them were now a couple and when he learns that they're not he immediately confess to reader?
I really hope it's not too precise, if you want to change things feel free to since you're the artist here, and I hope you understood (English isn't my first language) thank you so much for the other stories!
Take care, bye bye!
Hi, thank you so much for your well wishes and your request! Sorry this took so long, I burned myself out a little bit with the Halloween event and it took me a little time to get back into the swing of things. This one is short and sweet, and I hope you like it!
Third Wheeling It
Pairing: Ace x Reader
SFW
Summary: You've been spending a lot of time down in the clinic with Marco recently, and Ace gets the wrong idea. Warnings: Fluff, Misunderstandings, Very Little Hurt/Lots of Comfort, Idiots in Love Word Count: 1.6k
You’re convinced you’re never going to feel normal again. You have a headache you just can’t shake, and a fatigue down to your bones. You haven’t been able to shake whatever it is, no matter how much you rest.
“Are you really sure I just need to take it easy? It’s been weeks.”
Marco gives you a sympathetic look. “I know, but you really do just need time. You burned yourself out. Recovering from that takes a while.” He had been telling you that since you first started making regular visits to his office a couple weeks ago. You had spent a majority of the last week curled up in one of the beds in the clinic, pretending to rest but really just bothering Marco to entertain yourself. You suppose it was rest, in a way, but you liked to pretend you were somehow tricking him, getting away with something. It made you feel less helpless, and helped ease the ache of missing your normal routine.
You throw yourself down on the cot you had claimed for your own. “But I want to be better now.”
He laughs. “Don’t we all. If desire were all it took, I would be out of a job.”
“You could still fight. You don’t need to be a doctor to be a pirate.”
“True enough. But my point still stands: if our bodies listened to what we wanted there would be no need for doctors. Sometimes there really is no magic solution other than time.”
“That sucks.”
“Yeah, it does.” He passes by your cot, ruffling your hair light as he walks past. “But you’ll pull through.”
“Will you sit with me? We can suffer together.”
“I have work to do,” he says, sitting on the edge of your cot with a slight smile anyway. “And I wouldn’t really call hanging out with you suffering.”
You smile sleepily. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
“You need to raise your standards.”
“My standards are sky high, thank you very much.”
“Oh yeah? What are they, then?”
“One, handsome. Two, nice to me. Three, end of list.”
He laughs. “God, the bar is in the ground for you, huh? Let me correct that for you: three, be Portgas D. Ace.”
You blush. “That–I–uh. Shut up!”
Marco is still laughing at you when you hear a throat clear in the doorway. You both look up to see the man you were just speaking of leaning against the doorframe, his eyes avoiding yours, a slight frown on his lips. “Sorry, I just–I heard you were down here again, and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
You smile at him, bright and earnest. “I’m doing alright, I guess. As well as I can be.”
Marco stands, moving away from your bed and back to his desk, more than willing to let Ace take his place at your sickbed. “They’re fine, really. They just hate listening to me.”
“I’d like listening to you if you had better things to say.”
“Ouch!” He puts a hand over his chest. “I’m just doing my job here!”
As you both giggle with each other, Marco trying to distract you and you trying to let him, you both miss Ace shifting uncomfortably and biting his lip. However, once you’ve come back down, you don’t miss the way he’s looking at you, a look far too intense to dismiss. It’s strange, somewhere half between hurt and resignation. Something flashes in his eyes, something pained, but before you can ask him what’s wrong he’s already turned his back. “I’ll leave you two to hang out. I wouldn’t want to interrupt.”
“You’re leaving already?” You can’t leave the sorrow out of your voice or the pout off of your face. “But I’ve missed you.” And you had, really. Spending most of your time down here with Marco means you’ve barely spent any time at all with Ace these past few weeks. You had missed everything about him, from his smile to his laugh to his loud, obnoxious snores when he passed out halfway through dinner.
His shoulders stiffen. His voice is tight when he speaks again. “You shouldn’t say things like that. You could give a guy the wrong idea.”
You sit up, wincing but forcing yourself through the discomfort. “What kind of wrong idea?”
“The idea that you might be…interested.”
“That sounds like the right idea, actually.”
He whips around, his face painted with hurt. “That isn’t funny.”
“Who’s joking?”
“I…really. This isn’t…this is cruel. Having to third wheel with you two is hard enough without…”
Marco finally speaks up, his voice filled with confusion. “Third wheel?”
“Yeah, watching you two get closer while I have to pretend I’m fine is hard enough, you guys don’t need to rub it in my face.” He doesn’t sound angry, really, just defeated and pained. “I’m trying to be happy for you, you don’t need to make it harder than it already is.”
You furrow your brow. “Happy for us?”
Marco can’t help the surprised bark of a laugh that leaves him. “You think we’re dating?”
Ace pauses. “You…aren’t?”
“Hell no!”
“Absolutely not!”
You and Marco both instantly refute the claim, perhaps a little more harshly than necessary.
Ace lights up like the sun. “You mean it?”
“Of course we mean it!” You cry.
“Why wouldn’t we mean it?” Marco chuckles, voice filled with the sort of weary but unwavering affection Ace tends to bring out in people.
“Will you go out with me?” Ace stares at you with wide, pleading eyes, already moving to beg on his hands and knees, as though he expects rejection.
“You aren’t really my type,” Marco quips with a laugh, before closing the curtain to give you two some privacy.
It’s your turn to be shocked, heart beating out of your chest and cheeks flushing. “You–I–What?”
He grins, on his knees in front of you, taking a hand in his. “I like you, a lot. Will you go out with me?”
“This is so sudden.” You want to say yes, of course. Why wouldn’t you? But you weren’t expecting such a confession today, and your head is still pounding, and you can’t quite get over the thought that Marco is listening right behind the curtain. You know that Ace doesn’t care about any of those things, blind to anything but his goal in any situation, but you could never be so headstrong, so carefree. Could you?
“I’ve liked you from the moment I saw you.” His smile is growing ever wider, his eyes filling with hope. “I thought I had lost my chance, and I will absolutely never take that risk again. Will you be mine? Or, I guess, could I be yours?”
Your cheeks are on fire, and your brain is melting, but your mouth moves despite yourself. “Yes,” you hear yourself say.
You’re pinned to the bed as he throws himself at you, laughing joyously. “Yes? Oh my god, yes!” He tucks his face into your neck, and you can feel his smile. “I never thought it’d be a yes.”
“How could it be anything else?” Your voice is soft, more vulnerable than you’d like. But you would never understand how he could expect anything less than success. You don’t know how anyone could speak to Ace for longer than five minutes and not fall madly and deeply in love with everything about him: his smile, his humor, his confidence. He shines like the sun, and you don’t know how anyone could ever resist basking in his warmth for as long as they can.
“Well up until a couple minutes ago I thought you were in love with Marco.”
You laugh. “I’ve been sick, Ace. He’s a doctor.”
He doesn’t respond, and you can see a bit of pink at the tips of his ears. “How was I supposed to know?”
“You could have asked.”
“You should listen to them,” Marco calls from behind the curtain. “This was entirely self-inflicted.”
“Shut up!” He finally leaves your neck just to shout at Marco, cheeks hot. “Would you have asked?”
“Yes. I’m a grown man. I can handle a tough conversation.”
“Well–I–Shut up!”
Marco laughs, and you can hear the door slam shut behind him. Ace buries himself in your neck again, his strong arms pulling around you even tighter, and you can’t help but smile. He seems so delicate like this, so unlike his usual self, and you can’t help but admire him. He’s so charming even now, so vulnerable and small. “I would have been too nervous to ask too,” you quietly reassure him. “And it doesn’t matter anyway, because you said it.”
He smiles against your skin. “I did say it,” he mumbles. “And you accepted.”
“I did.”
“I really like you.”
“I really like you, too.”
You don’t have a moment to react before his lips are on yours, slightly chapped and hesitant. You imagine this is what sunlight tastes like, warm and inviting. His hand rests on your cheek, thumb brushing lightly against your skin. He’s smiling as he pulls away. “And now I can do that whenever I want.”
You grin. “You can. You’re encouraged, even.”
And so he kisses you again. Marco leaves you too alone for as long as he can justify to himself, and when he finally interrupts you two again you find yourself more than ready to leave the clinic again, a warm hand intertwined with yours and your headache nearly entirely gone.
Tag List: @pandora-writes-one-piece
#ace x reader#portgas d ace x reader#one piece x reader#portgas d ace#portgas ace x reader#ace x you#ace x y/n#ace one piece#one piece
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Wayne pov, implied neglect, abandonment
Wayne gets a call from Hawkins Elementary that Eddie hasn’t been to school in two days.
They couldn’t get ahold of Al on the phone, as usual. Wayne hopes his suspicions are wrong, but he already knows what he’s going to find when he shows up to the shabby old house on Philadelphia street with a McDonald’s bag in hand.
His knock on the door goes unanswered, but he sees small fingers and big round eyes peeking through the side window blinds.
“Hey, Eddie, it’s your Uncle Wayne. Open the door, it’s alright.”
Eddie shuffles away from the window, but there’s still no answer.
“You hungry? I brought those nugget things you like, that’s all. Some kinda toy in here too.”
After a moment, the door slowly opens a sliver. One big button eye peeks through the crack and a pale skinny arm reaches out.
Wayne hands over the food. “Gonna let me come inside?”
Eddie’s arm snakes back in with the bag like a claw machine. But after another moment, the door swings open fully, revealing Eddie in rumpled clothes at least a couple days worn. The shadows under his eyes tell Wayne all he needs to know.
“Dad’s gone to the store,” Eddie smiles nervously, he didn’t inherit Al’s ability to lie behind it. “He said he’ll be right back.”
Wayne just nods as he comes inside. One look around confirms what he already knew. By the window, there’s a blanket and a scatter of candy wrappers and empty soda cans where Eddie’s been sleeping. Waiting and watching the driveway for Al.
This wouldn’t be the first time Al’s gone off and left Eddie to fend for himself. Wayne’s been helping out as much as he can since Eddie’s poor mama passed. He doesn’t know much about raising kids but he knows Al’s one dumb selfish bastard to be leaving Eddie alone for days since the ripe age of 8.
Wayne ignores the twist in his chest and the stab of anger he feels and doesn’t mention it. He follows Eddie to the coffee table in front of the couch where Eddie digs into the McDonald’s sack.
“School called and said you weren’t there. You feelin’ bad?” He reaches out, gently pushing back Eddie’s wild curls to feel his forehead. He’s surprised Eddie lets him, too busy scarfing down chicken nuggets. “No fever.” Wayne notes, but Eddie’s hair needs a good wash.
Eddie’s narrow shoulders slump a bit. He doesn’t look at Wayne, tearing open his chocolate milk with his teeth.
“I just— didn’t wanna go today. I hate school. Miss Taylor always gives me a bad behavior grade even when I act the best in class. She calls me Junior. Munson Junior.”
“Thought you liked being called Junior. Like your dad.”
Eddie shrugs, those shadows darkening on him. “Everyone forgets I have my own name too. Sometimes I just wanna be Eddie.”
Already, he’s feeling the weight of his last name. Al taught him to hotwire the second he turned 10 and how to pick locks even before that. Munson tradition, Al wouldn’t listen when Wayne told him that’s bullshit. What seem like cool tricks to Eddie now already make him guilty in everyone’s eyes. Wayne’s been feeling it all his life, thanks to his old man and now Eddie’s got Al to thank for making it even worse.
“That’s good, you just keep reminding them,” Wayne says, being careful with his next words. “When you finish that, why don’t you go pack a bag, alright? You can come stay with me until your dad gets back.”
Eddie goes stiff, chewing slower now. “It— it hasn’t been long. He said he’d be right back.” His eyes drift over to Wayne, checking to see if he buys it. Wayne doesn’t. So Eddie huffs, “I wanna stay here. I hate the trailer park.”
That’s just him repeating Al’s shit talk, so Wayne doesn’t take offense. “Your friend’s been askin’ about you. That little girl next door.”
Eddie perks up at that, “Ronnie?” Wayne nods and thinks that does the trick for a second, but Eddie stubbornly sulks again. “I can’t go. Dad told me to stay here until he gets back.”
“Well, you shouldn’t be here alone. You don’t have to be.”
“I’m not scared to stay by myself,” Eddie insists, sitting up straighter, looking even younger trying to look older. “Dad said I’m not a little kid anymore. I’m 10 now and I can look after myself. He taught me to use the stove and everything. I always do fine on my own.”
“So he’s been leaving a lot, then? You know you can call me to come pick you up,” Wayne tries not to frame it like it’s Eddie’s fault, pointing to where his phone number is pinned on the fridge with a magnet.
Eddie’s lip wobbles despite how he tries to square his jaw.
“There’s nothing wrong.”
“You ain’t—”
“You said to call if I need you and I don’t need you, Wayne! I'm fine!”
Eddie shoves the food away, his eyes wide and shiny when he cuts them back to Wayne. Not glaring with anger, just hurt.
“It’s not fine,” Wayne tells him, gentle as the first time he held him, just a tiny thing all bundled up in Elizabeth’s knitting. “Your dad’s got his head in his ass again. You can’t stay here on your own, no matter what he said. I ain’t leaving you by yourself.”
“I’m not going.” Eddie’s more pleading now than arguing. “I have to stay here so Dad can find me when he gets back. Don’t you get that? If I’m not here, I won’t see him.”
That’s what it’s really about, Eddie thinking it’s his responsibility to keep up with his Dad. Instead of the other way around.
“If he comes looking for you, he’ll know where to find you.” But Al won’t. It’s never Eddie that he comes back for. Wayne doesn’t tell Eddie that, but now Eddie’s starting to learn that on his own. Al proved it to him time and time again.
“Why do you even care?” Eddie’s angry now. But it’s not really Wayne that he’s mad at. They both know that.
“It’s alright, son, c’mon now.” Wayne reaches for him but Eddie quickly pushes his hand away.
“You aren’t my dad.” Tears escape with the words, and seeing his pain hurts Wayne more than anything he could say, or do. He pushes Wayne again. “So why do you care? Why are you here?��
He doesn’t need an answer, he just needs to let it out.
So Wayne sits there while Eddie shoves his chest and cries harder, “You aren’t my dad. Why do you care?” Wayne curls his hands around Eddie’s smaller ones as the question turns to, “Why aren’t you?” Then it’s a broken little sob of, “Why aren’t you my dad?”
Wayne catches Eddie when he finally tires himself out, and instead of pushing Wayne away, Eddie’s clinging to him. Eddie’s holding on like Wayne’s all he’s got left in the world. Wayne hugs Eddie to his chest, wishing there was more he could do.
Al put a hole in Eddie and he’s digging it deeper everyday, one that Wayne won’t ever quite fit into. He tries to fill it the best he can, giving Eddie the only bedroom in the trailer, going to the talent show because Al never makes good on his promises to be there for Eddie, not letting Eddie stay in this damn house alone waiting for someone who’s never gonna show up. Maybe Wayne’s not that someone, but he can still be here for Eddie. And he’s gonna be.
“C’mon, let’s get you outta here.”
#munson family stuff on the mind sorry#eddie munson#wayne munson#stranger things#ficlet#ronnie ecker#al munson#rueswriting#mp
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(Stanley X Ranger/Cop! Reader)
inspired by _heyitsjei on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@_heyitsjei/video/7411525022759570704?lang=en
im in love with the dymanic of ranger/cop of gravity falls in a strange relationship with the famous but sneaky Stan Pines. (suggestive, subtle mention of erection, making out, sensual touching)
You were an inspiring new ranger on the streets of Gravity Falls! You would accept any job from Blubs or Durland, and they had just the plan for you.
You had to look over a sneaky con artist named Stanley Pines. His age, in his 60s, made you think twice about this gig. Until you had your first encounter with him.
When you drove to the tourist trap that was his home, before you could even knock on the door, you heard a loud older voice scream about how the police were here in a panic.
You give a few knocks, which startles an entire argument between the older voice and a couple of younger voices within the home. After a couple more minutes of waiting and making sure you look clean from your hat and ranger pin, the door opens.
A young girl with a nervous smile looks up at you, and then when looking up, you see what you believe is Stanley, who looks clearly uncomfortable and is forced by the little girl to come and answer the door. She quickly introduces herself as Mabel, stepping aside to let Stanley enter the doorway and take a good look at you.
You didn't look intimidating as you smiled with a warm greeting for a ranger. Mabel relaxes with your first moment of greeting, and then you explain why you are here. To keep a close eye on Stanley Pines for a while, by orders of Sheriff Blubs.
Stanley's nervous grin falls into a frown as he scratches his back, groaning that he's basically going into a glorified retirement watch by a cop. With a mild eye twitch, you extend your hand to shake hands. Mabel elbows his side, and he sighs and takes your hand in shaking it. What surprises you is him pulling you in patting you on the back and whispering this.
"Good luck, kid; a young cop like yourself will have a rough time with an old but experienced dog like myself."
He lets you go, and you act as though he had challenged you. You walk back, confused but determined, looking back at the cabin.
...
You'd have your weekly to daily checkups on Stan Pines. You stood firm against his tricks and frustrating antics, from bribing you to straight-up attempting to lie in front of your face. But you weren't Sheriff Blubs of Deputy Durland.
From warning to fines, Stan made sure to give you the stink eye as you beamed with pride doing your job. Of course, this man would step and dabble crimes involving you having to take him into the office for questioning.
Once, you'd pulled up proof that he was not only scamming people out of money for some party but also carrying various weapons within his home.
You pull into the booming outdoor party; you don't falter when you feel the wave of groans as you step out of your vehicle; Stan makes sure to comment about you being once again the party pooper. This only made things tense between the two of you as you stepped right into the middle of the dance floor, hands on your hips, staring right at Stan.
You couldn't help but glance at the way he was dressed; it suited and looked good on him for being in his 60s (the party outfit in "Swooning over Stans"). Stanley would catch you but say nothing in front of such a crowd. He smirks.
"I'm afraid you're coming with me, Stanley Pines. You had fun while you had it tonight, but I'm taking you in for crossing the line with this party!"
The surrounding crowd ooohs as you pull out your cuffs, and you watch Stan visibly tense up; he looks almost ready to run, but you rush up to the porch walking behind his back. He resists, but you manage to cuff him behind his back. Thanks to the other young twin of Mable, Dipper stopped him from running.
You lead him towards your car as the crowd watches the show. From insults to snarky comments about the way you are handling and touching him in the back of the vehicle, you only roll your eyes. As you double-check the locks and yell to the party to continue as they pleased, you drove off back into the roads towards the town.
The tension only grows between you as you stay quiet and keep your eyes on the road, only sparing some glances at him in your mirror to ensure he isn't escaping, also maybe to enjoy the exposed chest where a gold chain is nestled in chest hair and his man-boobs.
However, Stanley would finally talk about how he didn't miss how you looked at him at the party and now. You are surprised by this; you nearly choke on your spit and swerve slightly on the road. You cough, clearing your throat as you tilt the mirror, and you glare at him with your meanest eyes, making Stan chuckle as you enter town.
You were unaware of having to use the oldest cop cars known today and that the literal child's lock was set and entirely available for Stanley in the back.
You do your best to cool your face down from Stans's comment, which oddly seems to come at a consistent rate until you were realized too late from the sound of the lock being shifted and the door opening.
You stop immediately as Stan jumps out of the door into the streets while screaming for freedom. The people walking gasp and shout at the sight. You jump out and make a run yelling for Stan to stop while he mocks you and laughs. He's a decent runner for an older guy...until his knees fail him, and he slows down quickly.
Being the tryhard cop you are, you tackle him and press him hard into the ground on top of him. He groans and shifts underneath you; the sight alone relaxes the people around.
You have to admit the man caught a young cop like you off guard, and you even found yourself breathless from the chase. You lean beside his ear, laughingly from when he challenged you.
"...I don't..need any luck to catch you! And I thought that you were... experienced, no.?"
Stanley straight-up growls with frustration and tries his hardest to move out of your grip. He even dares to thrust into you with shock, but it only makes you hotter and keeps the grip on his hands harder.
The crowd then becomes confused by the odd tensions and weird movements the two of you are making and leaves the scene.
With enough shuffling, you manage to get him back in the car; for good measure, you get an extra pair of cuffs on his ankles, to which Stan can't help but give a low whistle at the sight of you below and between his legs.
You give him a stink eye and slam the door on him before returning to drive to the office.
You feel the tension only become thicker between you and him as you think yourself tugging on the tight collar of your shirt, and you find Stan unbuttoning just one more button and sighing leaning into the seat, legs wide even with the cuffs. He was going to be the death of you for sure.
Things are thick as you grab him out, you swear you could feel him cursing under his breath but you keep on pushing him into the lit building to have him situated.
You huff and finally return him to the building. Your Sheriff and Deputy are found playing with a paper fortune teller at the main desk. They look equally as flustered when you surprise them with Stan by your side looking as though the two of you were making out.
You get the keys to the cell he will be momentarily set in. You sit him down to take off the ankle cuffs, the heat between you grew as you realized that Stan was closing his thighs you look up in question to look at a very red Stan.
…Oh my, it doesn’t take awhile to realize what Stan is feeling right now. You quickly stand and back away unsure and Stan admits.
“Shit kid, You can leave me in here if you’re uncomfortable… This is such a bad time.”
You gulp finding yourself tugging out you collar once more. You feel yourself getting red and hot but you shake your head and sigh as you step forward towards him in response.
Stan is clearly surprised by your reaction.
But what makes everything tip is when you sit on his lap making him groan which is covered by his hand shoved into his mouth.
Hands and lips are thrown at once. Stan is quick to wrap his arms around you, your lips met hot and soft.
His hands softly rub into your hips through your clothing, as you feel for his skin through the window of his unbuttoned party shirt.
You both push in with your tongues, even with a heated make out session you both seem to have a competition as you both fight for dominance. The fact that this is your first time making out with some one definitely says something about you.
He comes over top more experienced, especially when he thrusts into you making you gasp and pull away breathless and tugging on your shirt desperately wanting to cool down.
But Stan stops you when you reach for your buttons.
“Don’t. This can wait when you aren’t on the job okay sweet cheeks? You are, amazing for a cop but I don’t want me to ruin your job.”
You nod and pull away out of the cell locking it and smile at Stan to which he winks at you and finger-guns you.
“But I promise you a hell of a good time somewhere else, beautiful.”
You are definitely going to look forward for that in the future. Maybe he isn’t so bad after all.
#stanley pines#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls#stanley pines x reader#grunkle stan x reader#stan pines x reader#stan pines#stanley the man you are
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The Bat Boys X Bookworm!Reader
Summary: What the Bat Boys (and Eris & Lucien) are like with their bookworm partners
Warnings: Lil smutty and nsfw (not too much just want to cover myself) so 18+ MDNI
Notes: Just a bit of fun really, it's different to what I usually write but I hope you guys like it!
Rhysand
Rhysand loves you
And if loving you means that he has to feed your obsession with buying books?
Then he would happily clear out all the bookshops in Velaris if it meant getting to see you smile.
Rhysand is rich-rich.
Which means if there's something you want? He'll buy it for you without question.
You once mentioned about how much you'd love your own library one day.
So of course by the end of the week you had your own little haven inside Rhysand's house with more books than you could ever dream of reading and your own little ladder to reach them all.
But he didn't stop there.
For your mating gift he purchased you your very own library in Velaris
In which Rhys may or may not have enacted his fantasies of sleeping with a Librarian.
Whilst Rhysand does like to read, his taste in books is very different to your own.
But even though he doesn't read the books you do, he's more than happy to sit and listen to you talk about your favourite ones for hours if that meant being able to see your eyes light up as you talked about something you loved.
But no books nor libraries could top the best gift he had ever given you.
A hand-written book containing the story of your relationionship.
Complete with crude little comments and drawings the High Lord had scribbled down in the margins.
Rhysand loved history.
So what better way to preserve his undying love for you than in-between the pages of a book which would last forever.
Cassian
Cassian had never been very interested in books.
He'd much rather experience the thrill of real fighting and action in person than spend his time reading about it on some dusty old pages.
In fact the only time Cassian had been in a library he had the terrifying encounter with Bryaxis.
Safe to say that the trauma he experienced was the perfect excuse for never stepping in one again.
Until he met you.
Cassian has always been the type of guy who's all in or nothing.
He discovers the person he has a crush on likes reading?
You know he's going to be walking around with books he's never even opened pretending like he is a well-read Illyrian.
Citing quotes he doesn't even understand just to try and impress you.
And once you're together?
You show Cassian exactly what he's missed out on when it comes to reading.
Especially when it comes to getting tips for your bedroom activities.
For months after you revealed to him the wonders that are smut books, Cassian would spend his free time delving through the pages looking for new ideas on how to spice up your sex life.
Claiming his increased interest in reading was due to 'research purposes'
Cassian is 100% down to roleplay characters from your novels
He loves being the big strong hero to your damsel.
Whenever Cassian catches you reading, happily curled into the comfort of your sofa, he'll approach with a smirk on his lips
"Any new tricks you'd like to try out? I think page 69 is worth a shot."
Azriel
Azriel's a busy guy.
He's always away on missions for Rhysand or working in the dungeons of the Court of Nightmare's
So he can be forgiven if when he comes home, reading is the last thing on his mind.
But what he does enjoy though, is when you read to him.
He can lay with his head in your lap for hours.
Humming along to whatever tale you tell whether it's fantasy, romance or a good thriller
Sometimes he'll even offer his input. Laugh when something especially funny happens or shed a tear whenever a character he likes died.
Azriel loves the sound of your voice
Enjoying the way you put on voices whenever a character is speaking.
He's grown to like the sense of domesticity that he feels whenever you read to him. Allowing himself to imagine you doing this to two little Illyrian babies of your own.
Reading to your wide eyed children as they are gripped by the tales you're telling
Azriel is also a gentleman.
Need a hand with carrying the books you're choosing whilst you shop?
He's there
Hands willingly taking everything you stack on top of him, trailing after you with your selections like a lost puppy.
And when you get to the till?
Azriel had already spoken to the shopkeeper upon entry and added anything you chose to his account. Claiming the books were just as much his as they were yours if you were going to read them to him.
Azriel is definitely the type of male who likes you to read your smut to him as he pleasures you, acting out the words on the page until you're unable to speak anymore, leaving the rest of the chapter to your own imagination.
Eris
Eris is a reader.
He loves nothing more than to settle down after a long day with a good book in hand and a steaming tea.
You can't tell me he doesn't find it the hottest thing ever when he discovers you like to read too
The two of you have your own little book club
You'll each read the same book and then have a little meeting when it's over to discuss what you thought of it.
He can also get really emotional and intense about them.
God knows the amount of times you've had to calm him down when a character has made a choice he didn't like.
I think Eris definitely likes to write too
Not seriously, but it's a good way for him to get his thoughts out and to escape from the day to day of his reality.
And he loves to have you read his work
To see the way your face lights with joy as your eyes flick through his beautiful prose.
A small smile upon his lips at the knowledge that the muse for his writings was you.
Lucien
Lucien also likes to read.
But the way you read?
It terrifies him.
The way you obsess over the characters from your stories.
Your passionate opinions on their decisions and the plots.
God forbid Lucien says something about them that you don't agree with.
Lucien finds you positively feral when it comes to the stories you like.
But that doesn't stop him from wanting to show interest in them too.
Lucien likes to read all your favorite books and leave annotations of his thoughts in the margins.
This was exactly how the two of you had gotten together, the male having gifted you with a copy of a book he had noticed you reading.
The pages filled with scratchy comments and opinions on everything that happened.
Lucien pours his soul into his annotations and you love that.
Lucien is also a poetry man.
He loves to recite verses to you which stick out to him
Sometimes they were romantic, making your heart stop in your chest and breath catch in your throat.
But Lucien was also a fan of satirical poetry
The most ridiculous, corny things you have ever heard.
He'll come find you as you're going about your day and recite his latest read to you - your eyes rolling to the back as you did so, yet you fail to hide the smile which crosses your face every time he does so.
He has also tried to write you poetry before, express the depth of his feelings towards you. Safe to say his lame attempt of a limerick earnt him a scoff and had you hiding all his poetry books from him for the next month.
#acotar#fanfic#acotar imagine#sarah j maas#a court of thorns and roses#azriel x reader#azriel imagine#cassian x reader#eris vanserra x reader#cassian#eris vanserra#rhysand x reader#rhysand#lucien vanserra#lucien vanserra x reader
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childhood friend turned celebrity headcanons
DON'T ASK WHY OR HOW COME, JUST CONSUME THESE QUIETLY AND MOVE ON 🤡
Curiouser and Curiouser...
You never thought you'd see the day where your bestie makes it big in the world of entertainment. Ace had always been bright-eyed whenever he talked about those ambitions—to dance among the stars, to shine like them, to be gazed at by tons of adoring fans. He’s been training really hard to make it here, and you’ve been cheering him at every milestone.
He'd show you his latest routine (he's been practicing hard to be noticed at the upcoming auditions!), finishing with a flourish--breathless--as he looks at your expectantly for your feedback. "Well?" Ace would demand with a smirk. "Did that make your heart skip a beat?" It's been so long since then, and he still makes every movement look so effortless, like he’s not even trying.
He's currently known in the entertainment industry as a jack of all trades, a man of many talents. Besides the singing and dancing, Ace does some VA work on the side (you're not surprised; he's always been good at doing vocal impressions). On variety shows, he even pulls out a deck of cards to do magic tricks—tricks he has practiced with you time and time again. The nostalgic memories well up inside of you every time you're flicking through the channels and catch Ace doing a trick or pulling a voice he has tested on you no less than twenty times.
You heard his latest song playing in a store the other day. His voice had floated over to you as you perused the items on display, some cheeky pop song (Fitting for him, you think), the lyrics telling of distant love. Listening to it makes your heart ache with longing. If you close your eyes, it feels as though Ace is right there beside you, serenading, as he did all those years ago.
He still has your number, still texts you whenever he has a few minutes of break on set or backstage. Ace is hot shit and he knows it. He tends to brag about his latest projects ("I'm in high demand, you know!") or asks you've seen that one film or music video he starred in. If you have, he'll fish for compliments ("Sooo, what'd you think? Was I cool or what?"). If you haven't, he'll goad you to give it a shot. ("Who knows~ You might come out of it appreciating a whole new side of me!”)
He enjoys using his connections in the fashion world to dress well daily; Ace will send you selfies of new stuff he’s wearing for a music video shoot or whatever he got gifted from a fashion brand he worked with. He demands to know your opinion—he wants to hear you tell him how cool and handsome he is!
Ace will frequently tell you about his fans and how dedicated they are to him. It's not that he cares about them any more deeply than their relationship as an idol and a fan, he just does it to observe your reactions and to see if you get jealous when he mentions them.
Sometimes he'll play coy when you initiate the texts; he'll leave you on read and then respond veeery late into the day with a joking "Didja miss me? Desperate for my attention? Don’t worry, I know you’ll always be my biggest fan.”
He shamelessly saves you VIP tickets to his live shows (though he’ll claim he just “happens to have it” on hand). While he’s performing, Ace makes extra effort to throw fanservice your way—and while the fans around you squeal and insist he’s looking at them, you know deep in your heart that his heated gaze is reserved for you and you alone.
After those shows, he’ll of course insist that you come see him backstage. You’ll sit on the couch and wait for him to change into his plainclothes—complete with a baseball cap, sunglasses, and mask to hide his identity—then he’ll walk you home, an arm wrapped around your shoulder. “We could take my private car,” he mutters, “but I think I like having you all to myself, without the chauffeur butting in.”
You worry that someone might spot you, that there will be a massive scandal—but Ace takes it all in stride. “Yeah? Well, if it happens, it happens. Wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to have you as my partner in crime~”
This wasn’t the career path Deuce thought he’d end up in, but life works in strange and mysterious ways. You were out chilling with him one day when a recruiter came up to Deuce and offered his card. He wasn’t going to entertain it until you encouraged him, and well… from there, it snowballed into unexpected stardom.
A lot of his work comes in modeling, just because it’s simpler for him to not overthink about answers to give or how to act on set. Often you’ll be browsing a fashion magazine and stumble across a full page or even a spread of Deuce in a bomber jacket posed against a vehicle—a magical wheel, a car. Sometimes he’s staring wistfully at the scenario, his profile cutting a sharp figure, and other times his gaze is right on you, intense as the sun on the ocean blue. When did he become so manly? you wonder. It must be the professional lighting and styling.
Deuce has had to work twice as hard as his peers to get to where he is. He isn’t super coordinated, and he’s pretty slow at learning new things—but it’s his passion and his willingness to get back up again and again that’s admirable. You stay up late with him, clapping to the beat of the music and calling out numbers to help out, but really Deuce thinks it’s your company that’s motivating him to keep going.
His public image is that of a cool and tough beauty with a vulnerable side. In interviews, he tends to bring up being raised by a single mom and how tight he is with her, as well as his love of eggs and baby chicks—all things you already knew about him well before his era of popularity, That always gets the audience tearing up or cooing about how cute he is. When he trips over his words or stumbles, that only adds to his appeal. That clumsiness contrasts well with his coolness, and you’re just glad that the rest of the world can appreciate that about him.
His mom, Dylla, still chats with you! You remember her hosting you as a kid, offering cute little hard boiled eggs cut up into little white rabbits and gushing about how cute her son looks in the fuzzy bunny onesie she got for him with her savings. These days, Dylla doesn’t want for much but still keeps in touch. You’ve noticed that she’s been asking a lot about her son and what you think about him. You reassure her that you’re close, which makes her laugh in a boisterous way.
In one of the talk shows he’s on, Deuce is asked what his “type” is. He takes a long time to mull it over, taking the question very seriously, then settles on… “Truth be told, there’s someone I’ve had a crush on for the longest time. They’ve been with me since the start of my career, and I don’t think I’d even be where I am now without them. They’re always so kind and supportive, but… I worry about things changing between us. Every time I think about telling them how I feel, I chicken out.” The crowd awwwws and the host asks the viewers to hype Deuce up, turning the atmosphere in the studio electric.
He’s not totally sure how to deal with fans quite yet. He has confided in you that he doesn’t think he will ever truly get the hang of it. At meet-and-greets, Deuce will shake their hands, smile, bow at a 90 degree angle to thank everyone for their support. But then his face lights up when you make it to the front of the line, and his posture completely relaxes. “You came to see me,” he whispers in disbelief. “I wanted to surprise you,” you say, taking his hand. And suddenly, he feels warm and safe, right at home with you.
He gets so embarrassed when he sees that you own his merch and even save magazines with his image on them. “I gotta archive your journey to higher and higher heights,” you joke. “Hey, remember how I’d always tell you to remember me when you’re rich and famous? You stuck to your word.” But Deuce says he’s nothing special, that he only got lucky because you’re by his side. Of course he wouldn’t forget you. “To me, you are…” but his words hang there, not knowing how to finish.
Deuce is still careless at times when he hangs out with you. He will usually forget to wear a disguise, so you have to tut and help him sort out something on the fly. You lend him your jacket (wrong size), your hat (oof, it’s going to smell like your shampoo), even comb your fingers through his hair to try and get it to look different. Deuce accepts the items and swears he’ll wash them and return them to you when next you meet.
Despite it all, Deuce stays humble. The same old Deuce you’ve known since you were kids, the guy promises to beat up the schoolyard bully that made you cry and carries your stuff when your arms are full. He promptly replies to your texts and calls—and once, he left on his magical wheel in the middle of a gig when you said you needed him. (His manager wasn’t too happy about that, but Deuce gladly took the scolding.)
You tease him about how he presents in public versus in private. He comes off as so stoic in those glossy high fashion mags, but he’s always so earnest and open with you. He flushes and turns away, muttering, “I-I guess I feel comfortable around you. I don’t feel like I have to pretend to be someone I’m not.”
#twst x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#twst headcanons#twisted wonderland headcanons#Ace Trappola x Reader#Deuce Spade x Reader#Reader#self insert#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#curiouser and curiouser#Ace Trappola#Deuce Spade#Dylla Spade
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Call It What You Want
Phantom Ghoul x GN! Reader
Word count: 2k
Warnings: a lil spicy (I couldn’t help myself)
Note: ITS BEEN SO LONG IM SO SORRY. Seeing ghost on Saturday really got me in the mood to write again. For my man phantom. I listened to Call It What You Want by Taylor Swift while writing this. I’m a bit rusty since it’s been a bit so I apologize in advance but please enjoy 🖤🖤
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You sat by yourself in the cafeteria with a book in your hand and a coffee in the other. It was one of those cheesy smutty-romance novels you couldn’t help but love. Maybe it was because you are in a desperate need of some romance yourself after your last relationship went downhill or maybe it was a great distraction. All of your so-called friends took his side of the breakup and left you in the dust. You couldn’t help but feel lonely sometimes but books were a saving grace.
Your face remained stoic as you read, getting lost in the words in front of you.
His fingers trace the shape of her body as her breath hitches. Stopping at the edge of her panties and gives her a smirk before he brings his mouth close and brings the fabric down with his teeth. She lets out a breathy moan as she feels his teeth grazing against her ski-
“Whatcha reading?”
A shriek escapes your lips and the book falls into your lap. You quickly cover your mouth at the noise you made. Heat radiates off your cheeks as you look up and see a ghoul. Your reflection staring back at you in the goggles of his mask.
You gape at him for a minute and remember he said something. He stares back in an almost giddy manner Slowly bringing your hand down from your mouth, “W-what?”
He grins sheepishly, “Your book,” he nods to your lap, “I was wondering what you were reading.”
Your blush returns and you wave it off, “oh, just some silly little romance novel.”
His grin turns into a teasing smile, “Sureee, that’s why you dropped it so fast.”
“You scared me!” You try to defend yourself but fail as a small smile fights through. His grin grows bigger and so does yours.
“I’m (Y/N),”
He stares at your hand in front of him. He places his in yours and shakes it slowly.
“Phantom.”
Your eyes glance behind him to see his tail waving in excitement. “You’re the new ghoul Papa summoned for the band, right?”
He grows shy, “Y-yeah.”
You sense his uneasiness and give him a gentle smile, “Well, I’m excited to see you play.”
His face lights up, “Really?” You nod and he grows excited, “I have been practicing with Sodo and I’m getting really good!”
You check the time and your eyes widen as you realize you're late for a meeting with Primo. You stand up and grab your book and coffee. “I’m really sorry, I have a meeting wit-”
Phantom grabs your wrist to stop you, “Do you think maybe I can play for you sometime?”
You’re surprised. An invitation to hang out with someone? It’s been so long. You give him a happy nod.
He jumps up, “Great!”
You begin to walk away before you turn around and give the ghoul one last smile, “It was nice to meet you, Phantom!”
His tail begins to wave back and forth in excitement as he gives you a wave goodbye.
Sodo stands next to him, getting hit with Phantom’s tail. He gives a shove to his side, “Cut it out.”
“Sorry.” Phantom gives him a sheepish grin.
“We got to work on that.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You and Phantom continued to see each other after the first guitar session. He showed you tricks he was learning to play on tour, his solos, and even offered to show you how to play to which you politely declined.
He would meet you at the library when he wanted to see you. He would find a book to read and the two of you would curl up in chairs next to each other in the back of the library. Your heart fluttered the first time you had glanced over and saw him entranced by the book in his hand. His mask laying on the arm rest next to him, you got to study his features. How his hair slightly covers his face or how he bites his lip when he reads. You smiled to yourself and continued to read.
The following library visits turned to him picking out cheesy romance novels for you to read, purely judging by the covers, and you picking out some books for him. You both share a couch now and end up with his head in your lap.
You run your fingers through his hair, reading the page. Bringing your hand up, you turn the page and Phantom lets out a whine at the loss of contact.
You don’t notice, too busy with the words in front of you. Your fingernails gently scrape against his scalp. He lets out a choked moan. Yet again you don’t notice.
After a while you put your book down and glance down at the ghoul. You sigh, “You have such pretty hair. I hope you know that.”
A blush grows on his face but looks up at you steady eyes, “Yeah, well, you have such a pretty face. I hope you know that.”
Your laugh fills the quiet back section of the library.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You were having a rough night. You had seen your ex and ex friends hanging out together and it triggered a panic attack.
You sat, hidden away in a back aisle of the library, with your knees to your chest. Keeping your head down, you count your breaths.
Footsteps approach you. They stop and the person sits down next to you.
Peaking, you see Phantom looking at you with a tilted head. You shake your head before hiding in your arms.
You hear him take off his mask and feel him nudge you.
Not getting anything from you, he pulls you into his side. He didn’t need to know what was wrong, he just wanted to be there. He began to trace shapes on your back.
After you have calmed down, you place your head on his shoulder. “Panic attacks suck.”
Phantom hums in agreement.
The two of you sat in silence for a while before you spoke up slowly, “Would you run away with me?”
It was quiet again. “Hypothetically,” you add.
He turns his head, “I would go to heaven and back with you.”
You stare at him with glistening eyes. You never wanted anyone more. You send Papa a quick ‘thank you’ in your mind for summoning this ghoul. You wanted nothing more than to lean in. Phantom smiles at you, “Hypothetically,” he adds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You and Phantom were the only ones in the practice room. You both sat on the couch as he practiced. He seemed off today but didn’t know how. He seemed extra twitchy. He brought up teaching you how to play again.
“Come on, (Y/N)!” He pleaded. He slid off the couch and onto his knees. He’s in front of you on his knees. You’re definitely mentally freaking out.
You rolled your eyes. “I’m not good with my fingers,” You pretend to play as a joke, “See?”
He grabs your hands, “Yeah, but I am!” Your heartbeat quickens. Your mouth goes dry and you pray he doesn’t hear the thumping of your heart. He pleads again, “I can show you.”
You don’t even know what to say. Does he know what he’s doing to you right now? “I-..”
He slowly gets up, hovering over you. He licks his lips and whispers, “Please, (Y/N).”
He nuzzles his head against yours before your neck.
“You’re not talking about the guitar anymore, are you?” you breathed out shakily.
You feel him shake his head, “Please let me touch you,” he whines into your neck.
You’re so close to hyperventilating, you can barely hear what he said. He slides back down on his knees, his hands gripping your thighs as he looks back up with you with needy eyes.
You grab his face and lean down to kiss him. Another whine leaves his lips as you touch him. His skin almost burning to the touch.
The door suddenly opens and in comes Swiss and Sodo. You jump back embarrassed.
Phantom whips his head around to the other ghouls and growls. Your eyes widen at the sound.
“Well well well. What do we have here?” Swiss grins.
Sodo elbows Swiss hard in the stomach, “Calm down Phan, it’s okay.”
Quickly getting up, you apologize. You’re too embarrassed. You’re not sure what you’re apologizing for but it’s the only thing coming out of your mouth.
Grabbing your stuff, you head to the door, “I’m sorry,” you look at Phantom, “I’ll see you later, okay?”
He nods. Realization of what happened hits him and he feels just as embarrassed and guilty.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Papa announced they would be performing at the Abbey, you were unsure if you wanted to go. It had been a week since the practice room incident and you hadn’t seen Phantom since.
Your thoughts have been too loud since. Maybe you offended him somehow or maybe he didn’t like you anymore. You’d gone to the library everyday in hopes he’d show up. Maybe you’ve read too many romance novels to still have your hopes up.
It was the night of the ritual and Siblings around you were buzzing with excitement. It had been a while since Papa performed for the Abbey and would be the first time the two new ghouls were to be performing on stage. Primo had essentially threatened you to come after you mentioned you were unsure. Needless to say, the old man can be intimidating.
The room is crowded and you make your way to the back of the room. You keep your head low, not particularly in the mood to see your ex and ex friends.
You felt anxious enough. Not only for seeing Phantom but you were nervous for him performing. He’s practiced so hard the past few months. You only hoped the siblings loved him on stage as much as you do.
The lights dim and screams erupt as Papa and his ghouls emerge on stage. You see him. Your anxiety disappearing as he begins to play Kaisarion.
You cover your mouth to hide your smile. He’s doing amazing. He displays such confidence you haven’t seen in him yet. He looks like a daydream. Your daydream.
Throughout the concert, he has become a favorite with the siblings as he blows kisses to the crowd and shows off his tricks like playing the guitar under his leg. Copying Sodo as he performs to the crowd.
You were unsure if he had seen you as the ritual nears its end. But Phantom had seen you as soon as he came out on stage. A light shined on you and he nearly tripped over himself. He knew if he stared at you, he’d get distracted and mess up the song.
The ritual ends with Square Hammer. The crowd singing loudly, nearing screaming the lyrics. With the final note, Papa thanks everyone for joining them. You cheer loudly with your heart full of pride. You need to tell him.
Phantom puts his guitar down before jumping off the stage. He has his head down as he makes his way through the crowd. He didn’t want to waste another moment without you.
He lifts his head up seeing you, you give him a small smile and little wave. He reaches you, pulling down his balaclava that was covering his mouth.
“I’m sorr-” he shuts you up by pulling you into a kiss.
You’re in shock for a moment before placing your hands on his and kissing his back.
Slowly pulling away with a smile, you both catch your breath. Your hands find the bottom of his mask, taking it off before pulling him into another kiss.
For the first time in your life, you didn’t care what anyone thought of you.
He pulls away first and looks down at you, “Hi.”
You grin, still holding his hands, “Hi.”
Giving his hand a squeeze, “You were amazing. I’m so proud of you,” you emphasized.
His hands caress your face, “I’m so in love with you,” he confesses.
You beam, “I’m so in love with you.”
The two of you walk out, his calloused hand in yours.
“So was that like a scene in one of your romance books?” He teases.
“Even better.” You cuddle into him.
“We can recreate the other scenes later.”
Your laugh echoes in the hall.
#ghost#ghost the band#sodo ghoul#swiss ghoul#phantom ghoul x reader#phantom ghoul#the band ghost#nameless ghouls#ghost band#dewdrop ghoul#papa emeritus iv#aurora ghoulette#cumulus ghoulette#cirrus ghoulette#ghost imagine#rain ghoul#mountain ghoul#copia#ghost band smut#sodo ghoul smut#phantom ghoul smut#ghost fox
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Swan Dive
This poem was prompted by @mific in exchange for a generous donation to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund. The prompt was "swan dive."
So what if we live in the world of never-too-late,
but I handled it too badly to tell?
I can't dive into water. I was late
the day that grace was handed out, I guess.
I never trust like falling. I trust only where I'm master:
stamina, and steady hands. I don't like heights or falls
or going faster. I was late that day that all
the other children learned the ways of letting go;
I couldn't ride a bike till very old, you know.
I told you that. I'm not afraid to tell you that at all.
I'd throw myself down mountains (steady-handed)
rather than just balance, just the one time, just the once.
The part that hurts me more is the space before the fall. so what -
So what if no one ever followed up, checked your ticket, said
"Stand here not there," showed an interest - the next stop
and in the fields there's an old coyote, a dog, a deer, some brown
limping animal poised, unclear. Is this your stop or not?
Did you know that they just sell
swimming lessons - not even checking first -
to anyone who asks? They don't even care
who you are, or whether you'd be good. Did you know
the girl who runs them thinks you're weird,
but not too old. the world of never-too-late
forgets to stamp your passport. have you heard
that a swan dive is scary because of reaching back
Not forward, steady-handed, to catch yourself; did you know that
you didn't need to, not for this part. so what if
there is a world you do it in: this one? so what if
you forgot. Hey, old dog, limping on, up ahead,
is this the world of miracles or not? Did you know
swansong forgets to come with captions,
makes it hard to hear. Hey, old soul, come back and say again
The part where grace was handed out and they told us all the tricks -
they didn't stamp my passport or come back to check.
You hold out your ticket but no one comes to stamp. So what,
Does that make me a chancer?
Did you know that no one cares, did you know that it's
already forgotten, always, and that
no one asked? did you know
what the others wanted was stamina and steady hands;
did you know this is not how swans dive at all? is this where you stop?
Hey, coyote, you missed your red punchline.
Hey swan, you missed your diving lesson.
Hey everyone, you forgot how bad I handled this,
and we forgot we came from here.
This is our first home, the mountain we jumped off,
This is our inheritance, this tired world, running late
second chances and old dogs - you don't get stamps
for where you're from. So what if we missed our stop,
forgot our native country, where we're living. so what if
here's your place at the table, here's your plate,
here's the invitation that got lost along the way:
So what if we live in the world of never-too-late?
This poem was prompted by @mific in exchange for a generous donation to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund. The prompt was "swan dive." Image credit: Junger Höckerschwan, Cygnus olor 04.JPG
Thank you so much for your support. It means the world and contains the world.
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I slowly opened the door. My roommates had been acting weird the past few days, but I’d shrugged it off.
There, leaning against his desk on one side of the room was Carter. Sitting on Carter’s bed, one of the few places there were to sit in the room, was Myles.
“Uh… you needed me?” I looked up at Carter. His usually playful demeanour was slightly off. I looked at Myles to see if he had any clue what was going on but he seemed like his usual smiley self.
“Yes… what do you know about hypnosis?” Carter asked.
My face felt hot, and so, I bluffed.
“Not much. I think I saw it in some TV shows?” I felt my voice go higher than normal.
His eyes lit up in challenge.
“Do you believe in it?” He asked again. Myles seemed confused too.
“Not really, I mean. It’s kinda sci-fi, right?” I laughed it off - pushing down any thoughts of he knows he knows oh god he knows-
“Maybe. What about you, Myles? Do you believe in hypnosis?” Carter had a mischievous look in his eyes.
Myles brushed it off. “Nah, of course not. It’s like flying or telekinesis or something.”
Carter locked eyes with me.
“Wanna see a cool trick?” He asked, raising his fingers to snap.
“No!” I heard my own voice ring out.
There wasn’t any fear or attempt to stop this from Myles. Just confusion. From me, however?
I’d just given myself away.
Carter snapped and Myles’ head dropped instantly, rolling back and forth before settling in the centre of his chest.
Carter grinned wickedly.
“What did you do?!” I gasped, running over to him. “Myles? Can you hear me?”
No response.
“What did I do?” Carter asked, still not moving from where he was leaning. I kept one eye on him as I shook Myles, getting more desperate. “Why, the same thing I’m about to do to you.”
The statement echoed inside my head. Fear. Dread. Excitement.
I slowly turned to look at Carter.
“Myles, stand.” Carter ordered.
Myles’ eyes opened, half-lidded, mouth agape. He stood and I backed away from him.
“Good boy.” Carter praised.
I started to panic. Shit. Do I run for the door? Both of them are faster than me. Stronger than me too, probably. Why the fuck didn’t I run more or go to the gym or-
Myles mindlessly lunged for me. I scrambled to get away but faltered as the only direction of escape was right towards Carter.
He was waiting there. Watching. Smiling. As if it was all going exactly to plan.
Myles grabbed both of my arms. I’d backed into him in fear, recoiling from Carter at the last second. I struggled but, just as I’d thought, I couldn’t break free.
For the first time during this ordeal Carter stood up and approached us. I looked away, getting a full look at Myles’ blank face looking straight ahead, no matter how much I pleaded with him to just listen to me.
“I understand.” Carter cooed. “You don’t want to submit to me straight away. You like the chase. The struggle. But I know you want to give in to me…”
I looked at him defiantly. The wrong decision. Maybe if I’d thought more about it I’d have realised that was exactly what he wanted.
Carter’s eyes were deep, swirling, drawing me in.
I’d always found him attractive, but now? Now it was like I was losing myself in his eyes. My thoughts slowed. My heartbeat quickened.
I felt my head begin to bow. I tried to look away. Really, I did. But Myles’ hand grabbed my chin and forced my eyes forward once more.
Carter looked at me proudly, as if he’d ensnared his pray. He looked hungry. Cocking his head from side to side and eyes shining as I mirrored his movements.
I felt a smile slowly form on my lips. I was drowning, sinking into his eyes. At some point Myles let go of my arms and began massaging my shoulders. Deeper, deeper. He must’ve known my legs were too weak to run.
It was all so meticulously planned, like a checklist.
Lure me in? Check.
Use Myles to stop me from leaving? Check.
Send me deeper? Check.
Make me lose focus? Check.
Staring into those gorgeous eyes? Check.
As simple and as easy as 1.. 2.. 3…
“You’re doing great. Both of you. Oh the fun we’re going to have with two of you now…”
#good boys make more good toys what can I say#it’s one of the hottest hypnotic situations out there#hypnosis#hypnok1nk#mind control#brainwashing#hypnotized#mindfuck#watcher writes#watcher’s stories
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More Than This 3
Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x f!reader, Steve Rogers & f!reader
Word Count: ~5.8k
Summary: Arranged marriages have always been used to solidify business deals among the ultra-wealthy. Your stepfather wants to be in business with Harlan Thrombey, so now it's your turn.
Warnings: Heavy angst, age difference, adult themes, institutional sexism, multiple references to vomit (but nothing graphic, I don't think), attempted sex that makes everyone sad - dubcon on both sides, explicit language, the slooowest burn - Warnings will be added as needed for subsequent parts. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
A/N: Alright friends, here we go! Now we're really in it.
A gigantic thank you, as always, to @paperweight91 for reading so much of this and talking it all through with me, especially the last section, which I've been anxious about since I originally conceived of it ages ago. You're the best, Chelsea!
Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. And if you need to come scream at me, that's ok too!
As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜
You heard Ransom get up in the early hours of the morning and stumble into the bathroom to retch. You were glad he didn’t choke on his vomit, you guessed. You were still on the couch with the TV turned down low. You wondered if he’d come out and see what you were doing, but he just stumbled back to the bed when he was done.
You didn’t hear him again for several more hours. In that time, you mostly watched TV, dozed a little, fucked around on your phone. Time passed slowly, but it still passed. Soon, the sun was coming up. You were moving across the country today. Your new life was starting whether you wanted it or not.
A few hours later you heard the beginnings of movement in the bedroom. You called down to room service and ordered two carafes of coffee, along with a few different breakfast options, ranging from light to extremely greasy. You didn’t know what his hangovers were like, what they required. But you knew that an especially moody Ransom wouldn’t do you any good. So, a peace offering of a sort.
The food arrived before he’d shown his face. As you looked at the cart, you thought that while you were trying to start things as well as you could for your own good, it didn’t erase everything he’d done the day before, how he’d treated you. So you made no effort to be quiet as you laid out the food and got the coffee ready. You may have banged the metal covers together as noisily as you could.
“What the fuck?” Ransom grumbled as he came stumbling out of the bedroom in just his boxer briefs. “Why is there noise?”
“Coffee,” you said, handing him the mug you’d filled. “I didn’t know how you take it.”
He took a sip and just grunted at you and then turned around and went back into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.
You busied yourself by getting your own coffee and munching on some toast. You still had no appetite but figured you should probably eat something.
A few minutes later, he came back out with a now empty mug. He stopped and stared at you. “Am I still drunk or are you still wearing your wedding dress?”
You tried not to let your embarrassment show. “I couldn’t get it off by myself, so…” you trailed off and shrugged.
He looked at you for another moment then nodded once. “Give me a minute,” he said, as he poured himself another cup. He drank it quickly, then briefly held his head in his hands. When he looked back up, he took a deep breath, then mumbled “OK.” He came up behind you and lightly touched your dress. “Is there a trick to it?” he asked as he ran a finger down the seam.
“It’s a long line of hook-and-eyes, you know?”
He hummed and then started at the top. As he worked, he grumbled to himself, which made you feel a little better about not being able to get it off. You’d never stop being surprised by how gentle his hands were. It seemed to be in complete opposition to every other part of him. When he was about halfway down, his knuckles lightly grazed the bare skin of your back and a shudder ran through your whole body. “Sorry,” he said, softly. You just shook your head and didn’t say anything.
When he was done, he quickly took a step back. You held your dress to you, trying to preserve your modesty, even though you knew how silly that was. You just weren’t ready for him to see you, although you doubted that that mattered. “Thank you,” you whispered.
He nodded again, then “You mind if I take the first shower?”
You shook your head and he disappeared into the ensuite.
About an hour and a half later, you sat with him in the back of a town car, on your way to the private airfield where one of his family’s planes awaited you. Neither of you said anything. Ransom was staring at something on his phone, while you put all your energy into trying not to have a panic attack. You had no idea what was waiting for you in Boston. You weren’t ready for this. You couldn’t do it.
As the car pulled up to the hangar, you were beyond relieved to see Steve already waiting there, Lola’s travel crate at his feet. The moment the car was parked and turned off, you lept out, not waiting for anyone to open the door for you. You bent down in front of Lola’s crate first and carefully stuck your fingers through the door. “Hi, baby, I missed you.” She kissed your fingers and then whined to be let out. “Not yet, honey,” you said softly. “You have to wait til we’re on the plane.”
You stood up and faced Steve, who was looking you over carefully. “How are you doing?” he asked seriously.
You shrugged and sighed. “Freaking out a little, I guess, but it’ll be fine.”
“And if it isn’t, you’ll call me,” he said, voice firm. “I don’t care where you are or what time it is, you call me. Ok?” You nodded. He opened his mouth to say more, but then the call of your name came from over your shoulder.
You turned to see Ransom standing between you and the jet. Your heart dropped. No, not yet. You needed more time. You needed to be able to actually say goodbye. You couldn’t– “I’ll be on the plane,” he said, voice still scratchy and tired, sunglasses firmly on, despite the overcast day. “Take your time.” He turned around and began walking up the stairs.
You just stared after him for a moment, surprised. When you turned back to Steve, his lips were curled in disgust. But then the expression quickly changed to something much sadder. “I should have done more,” he said, “gotten you out of here, sent you away or something. I can’t–”
“Steve.” you interrupted. “Please stop. It’s no use now.” You couldn’t listen to any more of this. It had always been inevitable; it’d always been what you were for. Imagining anything else was useless.
Neither of you said anything for a moment, then he looked around and asked, “Are Dad and Lydia on their way?”
You tried to keep any hurt out of your expression when you said, “No, something important came up for Joseph and you know Mom has a hard time going anywhere by herself.” You ignored the cracks you heard in your own voice.
Steve’s brow furrowed in confusion and upset. “I would have picked her up,” he said. “Hell, I’ll go get her right now.”
“I know,” you said sadly. “I told her that, but you know how she is.” You dropped your eyes, not able to look at the anger you knew you’d see on Steve’s face. You were angry too, you were, but mostly now you were just sad. And after thinking about it all night, you honestly weren’t sure how much anger she deserved. She’d been broken for a long time. It’d happened before you’d even known her, probably. It’d been unfair, maybe, to expect her to be strong for you now when she’d never been able to be that before.
Steve said your name and you looked up at him. “You don’t deserve this,” he said firmly. “I know I’ve said it before, but I really need you to understand it. None of this is what you deserve.”
You didn’t know what to say to that, so you just nodded and muttered, “OK.”
He sighed and shook his head, then pulled you into his arms. “I’m going to miss you so fucking much,” he said into your hair. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without having you just a few minutes away to annoy whenever I want.”
You huffed a laugh into his shoulder. “I’m going to miss you too,” you said. “So much. Even when you’re being so annoying.” The tears were starting now, you weren’t able to hold them back. You pulled back and briefly got a good enough look at Steve’s face to see that his eyes were wet, too, before he knelt in front of Lola’s crate.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he said quietly. “I’m going to miss you too. You take good care of your mom for me.”
You couldn’t help the little sob that came out of you at that. Fuck. Steve had been stuck to your side since you were six years old. Through absolutely everything. He’d been the one person you could count on for as long as you could remember. And now you were being dragged away from him.
He stood up and pulled you into another hug. “You’re so strong,” he whispered right in your ear. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
When he pulled back, you knew it was time to go, but you didn’t know how to pull yourself away. This all felt so final.
“Let me know when you land,” he said. “And when you get to the house. And just–” he sighed. “Everything. I want to know everything, ok?”
You nodded and tried to brush the tears from your eyes. “Yeah, ok,” you said, knowing you’d send him the exact amount of information that would keep him from worrying too much. You picked up the dog crate. You locked eyes with him one last time. “I love you.”
His voice was thick when he responded, “I love you too. I’m going to sit right here until you’ve taken off, ok? I’ll be right here.”
“You’re a good brother,” you said, as you slowly took your first step backward, toward the jet.
“Yes. I am,” he said with a smile that was half cocky and half absolutely heartbreaking.
With one last deep breath and an “OK,” that was mostly to yourself, you forced yourself to turn around and make your way to the stairs up to the jet. Once you were halfway up, you looked over your shoulder. Steve was leaning against his car. He gave you an encouraging smile and a small wave. You nodded and took the last few steps to board the plane.
A flight attendant was standing right there to greet you. “Welcome aboard, Mrs. Drysdale,” she said and you couldn’t help the way your mouth dropped open in shock. Mrs. Drysdale. That’s who you were now. You tried to pull yourself together and let her show you into the main cabin. It was mostly open, with a few plush seats and tables scattered around. Ransom was already in one, fully reclined with a sleep mask pulled over his eyes. He made no indication that he was awake, so you asked the attendant for a mask for yourself and a glass of water. As she went to fulfill your request, you opened Lola’s little cage and picked her up when she came out. She was nervous, shaking with her little tail tucked between her legs. “It’ll be ok,” you said softly, the tears threatening to stream down again. You took a deep breath and settled the both of you into a seat as far from Ransom as you could get in the small private jet. You gave Lola gentle pets until she sat down on your lap. “We’ll just take a nap,” you said, “and it’ll be over before we know it.”
“What the fuck is that?”
You woke with a start and pulled off your sleep mask. “Huh?” You sat up to see Ransom and Lola locked in a staredown.
“What is that?”
“I told you that I had a dog,” you said, confused.
“That!” Ransom yelled, pointing at Lola, “is not a dog. That’s a long-haired rat!”
“Hey!” you yelled back, just as Lola started retching. “Oh, baby, no!” You knelt down next to her just as she puked right at Ransom’s feet.
“What the shit?!” he cried out, jumping back.
“She’s stressed, ok? It’s not like I can explain to her what a plane is or where we’re going!” You grabbed what was left of your water and the napkin the flight attendant had brought with the glass and tried to clean it up. “Shit,” you mumbled to yourself.
“What are you doing?” He stood over you with his hands on his hips.
“I’m cleaning it up so you don’t freak out, ok? It’ll be fine, just give me a minute.”
“Get up.”
“What?”
“You don’t need to do that. The crew probably has a steam cleaner or something. My dad uses this plane. I’m sure they’ve seen worse.” He walked to the front of the cabin and knocked on the divider. When the attendant came, Ransom quietly told her, “The dog got sick. I assume you have something to clean it up.”
She nodded and quickly came out with a portable steam cleaner and made quick work of Lola’s mess.
“Thank you,” you told her.
“No problem at all, Mrs. Drysdale,” she smiled and went back to the galley.
“Well, that’s a real mindfuck,” Ransom said as he flopped back into his seat. He glared down at Lola, “She gonna do that again?”
“I don’t know,” you said, gently picking her up and holding her close to try to comfort her.
He pulled his sleep mask down over his eyes. “Great, love being a rat-dog owner.”
“She isn’t your dog,” you said curtly.
“Whatever. This hangover is still pounding against my skull. Wake me when we land.”
When you landed in Boston, Ransom led you to where his vintage beamer was parked and you both squeezed into it. The slightly hysterical thought struck you that it wouldn’t be suitable at all once there was a baby to cart around. You pushed that thought away. No use getting ahead of yourself.
Ransom’s house was on the edge of the city, surrounded by more trees than you expected. From the outside, it was mostly glass. Very modern. It felt cold.
He parked the car and grabbed the few bags you both had with you. The rest of your things would be delivered the next day. He showed you inside without much pomp or circumstance, just walked in ahead of you, and left the door open.
The majority of the first floor seemed to be one large, open-plan room. It was sparsely decorated and the pieces that were there seemed to be lifted wholesale from the pages of an upscale furniture catalog. There was nothing of Ransom in this house. Not that you really knew him well enough to say, but you didn’t think there was any information to be gleaned from his living space either. It all felt very empty. It was not what you had expected.
You set Lola down on the hardwood floor and she immediately ran off to explore. You crossed your fingers that she wouldn’t get into anything, not able to forget Ransom’s threat that he’d make you get rid of her if she messed anything up. You glanced over at Ransom to gauge if he was upset that you’d let her roam on her own, but he wasn’t paying any attention, leafing through a pile of mail left on the kitchen island.
He must have felt you watching him, because without looking up he said, “Bedroom’s upstairs. I’ll bring our things up later.”
You nodded even though he wasn’t looking at you. You grabbed your bag, not wanting to wait for him, and made your way up the staircase in the middle of the living room. Judging by how he’d treated you so far, you figured he planned to tuck you away in some guest room, out of his way except for when he needed you. It wasn’t unheard of in marriages like this, and you would honestly be grateful to have your own space. But as you looked through the rooms upstairs, you found a home gym, a study, and 2 storage rooms. There’d also been a bathroom and a few closets. The only room left had to be his, but you couldn’t imagine he’d want to share that with you. You very gingerly walked in and set your bag at the foot of the bed. You didn’t spend any more time there, afraid that you might be wrong.
When you went back downstairs, he was now rummaging through his fridge. “I put my bag in the bedroom upstairs,” you said to his back.
He just grunted his assent, then came out with two glass containers in his hands. He plated them both and put one in the microwave. “I have a housekeeper that comes three times a week and usually prepares meals for the whole week. You can give her any food preferences you have.”
You nodded. “I enjoy cooking,” you said, your mother's advice to ‘keep him happy’ floating in your mind. “I can make dinner too, sometimes.”
He nodded and shrugged as he took the plate out of the microwave and placed it in front of you on the island. You took a seat on one of the stools. “If you want,” he said, “but I don’t expect it.” He put his own plate in the microwave.
“Do you have any other staff?” you asked.
He shook his head. “Not for the house, not right now.”
You understood the implication that the staff would grow as your family did. A nanny, a driver, a gardener maybe, if you moved to a house that required one.
It was the lack of a driver that made you nervous. You’d never gone without one at home. You also hadn’t seen a large garage on the property, so you guessed there weren’t any extra cars around. You felt stuck in this house already, shut in like he didn’t want you to leave.
When his food was heated, he sat beside you and you ate together in silence. The food was fine, you were sure, but you couldn’t taste it. Your mind was ahead of you, wondering what the rest of the night held.
When you were done, Ransom loaded your dishes into the dishwasher and then said, “I don’t know about you, but I’m beat, so I’m just going straight to bed. Feel free to stay up if you want. I’m a heavy sleeper so you won’t wake me when you come in.”
“Oh,” you said, trying to hide your surprise. So he did intend for you to share his room. But apparently, just for sleeping. You were relieved. You were. The little voice in your head that wouldn’t stop whispering that he didn’t want you didn’t count. “I’m still three hours behind, so I might stay up a little longer.” Doing what, you had no idea. You didn’t have any of your things and you weren’t sure what was off-limits here yet. And you were exhausted, still hadn’t recovered from not sleeping the night before. But you just couldn’t deal with the awkwardness of going to bed at the same time as him.
“OK,” he said and then just stood there, looking surprisingly lost. After a couple of endless minutes, he just said, “Goodnight,” and finally went upstairs.
You grabbed your phone out of your handbag, unsurprised to see multiple messages from Steve, checking in on you. You sent him one back, assuring him that the flight had been fine, the drive to the house was fine, you were fine. You collected Lola from where she was curled up on a rug, quickly fed her and let her out, and then brought her and her crate upstairs. After a few minutes of internal debate, you decided to set her up in the gym, fairly certain that even in her crate, Ransom wouldn’t want her in his bedroom. It took a lot of coaxing to get her in. She was so used to sharing your bed. She whined when you closed the little grate and your heart broke. “I’m so sorry,” you whispered. “You’ll get used to it. It’ll be ok.”
You quietly went into the bedroom and Ransom was, indeed, already asleep, spread out on his stomach again, but luckily this time only taking up one side of the bed. He’d left the lamp on the opposite side on for you. You took your sleep clothes out of your bag and brought your toiletries into the ensuite, unpacking only what you’d need for the night. His things were all piled around one of the side-by-side sinks, but the other was clear for you. You went through your nightly routine quickly and then went back into the bedroom and very carefully climbed into bed. He didn’t stir. You turned off the lamp and settled at the edge of the bed. Your exhaustion took you quickly.
When you woke in the morning, Ransom was gone.
Your things were delivered a few hours after you woke. You started by trying to organize the boxes into the least obtrusive pile possible. You hoped that if they were tucked into a corner, he wouldn’t be too annoyed while you took your time going through them. You started with a few of the smaller boxes, unpacking the items into places you hoped they could go.
You took Lola for a walk around the neighborhood. It was sparsely populated, the houses spaced far apart. You didn’t run into any neighbors.
One of the walk-in closets in the bedroom had been cleared out for you, so you spent the afternoon unpacking all your clothes. By the time you were done, it was time for dinner. There was still no sign of Ransom.
You fed Lola and helped yourself to one of the meals in the fridge. You ate alone and after you cleaned up, you dug a book out of one of your boxes and settled on one of the not-very-comfortable couches with Lola to read. You didn’t know if she was allowed on the furniture – you were sure she wasn’t, actually – but Ransom wasn’t here to see it, so you couldn’t find it within yourself to care.
As you were finishing the second chapter in your book, he walked through the front door. With how the house was set up, he had a clear view of you and Lola from the door. “Hi,” was all he said.
“Hi,” was all you could say back.
He just stood there for a moment and then took off his coat and shoes. “How was your day?” he asked, stiffly, as he came into the living room.
“Fine,” you said. Then you realized he was actually attempting conversation and added, “My things came, so I got started unpacking.”
He nodded, “That’s good. Did you eat?”
“I did,” you said, hoping that was the right answer. “Can I get you some food?”
“No, I’m fine. I ate at the office.” Well, that answered where he’d been all day – his family’s publishing house.
He cleared his throat. “I’m going to go upstairs to unwind. Will you be heading up soon?”
Oh. Right. It’d finally come. “Yeah,” you said, your mouth suddenly dry. “I’ll just get Lola settled and then join you.”
He looked down at your dog in your lap like he was noticing her for the first time. But he didn’t say anything, just nodded and walked upstairs.
You let Lola out the back door for just a couple minutes, then took her upstairs. It was even harder to get her into her crate this time, even after you buried treats in her blankets. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you cooed, once you finally had her locked in. “I promise it won’t always be this hard and scary. It’ll be ok.”
Ransom was waiting for you in his room, sitting in an armchair by the window. “We should talk,” he said quietly.
“Ok.” You perched on the edge of the bed and did your best to look him in the eye, even as your heart was racing.
He took a deep breath and leaned forward. “We don’t–” he started, then another breath. “There’s nothing that we have to do tonight. I mean, we can certainly get the first time out of the way, if that’s what you want to do. But it doesn’t have to be now. We have time.”
You wanted to be relieved, but it just felt like delaying the inevitable. “We don’t, actually,” you said shaking your head. “We don’t have that much time. Especially if it takes a while. If there’s going to be an issue getting pregnant, on either side, I think the sooner we know the better. I don’t want to be blindsided by it when we only have a month left.”
“Ok,” he nodded. “That makes sense. Yeah, we can get it over with.”
You were proud of yourself for the way you didn’t wince at his phrasing, but it was a near thing. But was it really fair to be upset or hurt by that when it was how you were feeling too? You wanted to stop delaying it. You were ready to just know how it was going to be, what he would want. So yeah, maybe ‘get it over with’ wasn’t such a bad way to put it.
He stood up and sighed, looking like he was bracing himself. “I do need to know, have you done this before?”
You swallowed. The question wasn’t unexpected but you weren’t sure how to answer it and didn’t know which answer he was looking for. You decided to be honest and hoped it would be ok. “Yes, I’ve had sex,” you said, quietly.
He let out a long exhale in relief. “Ok,” he said, “ok, that’s good.”
You stood up, unsure of what to do. You just wanted to be on the other side of it. You suddenly thought of what you’d just told Lola. It wouldn’t always be this hard and scary. You would get used to it. You just had to get through this first time. And then you’d know how he was. Resolved now, you started taking off your shirt.
“Wait,” he said, breathed really. “Just wait.”
Your shirt was already halfway off, stuck on your arms above your head, so you shucked it the rest of the way and threw it on the floor, but didn’t do anything else.
He came over and stood so he was in your space. He brought his hand up to cup your face, his thumb on your cheekbone. And very slowly, he ducked his head to bring his lips to yours. There was something about it. The intimacy. Even with what you knew you were about to do with him. You just– A kiss was too much. You turned away. You couldn’t do it.
Instead, your hands went to unbutton your pants. You undid it slowly then bent over with your back to him to push them down your legs, sticking your ass out as much as you could. That was better than a kiss, right? You could make him want you.
You kicked your pants off and stood back up, looking over your shoulder to see him watching you. But his face was unreadable. You weren’t ready for him to touch you, so you said, “I can get myself ready for you,” hoping it came off coy, but you were afraid he’d be able to hear how your voice shook. For the briefest moment, you almost thought you saw something travel across his face. Disappointment, maybe. But it was gone too fast for you to be able to tell, and you were trying so hard to look away, anyway.
You got on the bed, lying on your back, sliding your panties off as seductively as you could. You closed your eyes tight and slowly moved one hand down your abdomen while the other started to play with your breast, cupping it, tweaking your nipple. As your other hand slipped between your thighs, you brought up your go-to fantasy. Nothing fancy or outlandish. Just a man standing over you, touching you, telling you how much he loved you, how much he loved your body. How he was going to ruin you, completely take you apart. You tried to focus on that as your fingers slowly made their way between your folds, as they made their way to your clit. But this room kept pulling you back to reality. You could hear Ransom taking his clothes off. You tried to ignore it. You were starting to get wet, slowly but surely, so you carefully pushed one finger inside yourself, trying so hard to focus on the man, his voice. You heard a bottle of lube flick open. No, no, you weren’t here, as you added another finger. You could hear Ransom’s hand on his cock now as your thumb continued to rub your clit. You opened your eyes despite yourself. Ransom was kneeling on the edge of the bed, stroking himself to hardness. It was the first time you’d seen him fully naked. He really was so beautiful. You sort of hated him for it.
You closed your eyes again. You could do this. You scissored your fingers slowly, opening yourself up, a little whine escaping your lips, when suddenly, you felt a hand wrap around your ankle. You wanted to scream in frustration. It was no use. Your hands dropped down to your sides. You were ready enough. It wouldn’t hurt, it was fine. You blinked your eyes open again to find Ransom staring at your face, searching for something. You couldn’t begin to guess what. “I’m ready,” you said.
“Are you sure?” he asked, voice soft, but gritty.
“Yeah, I’m good. How do you want me?”
He seemed almost startled by your question. “Uh, however you’re most comfortable.”
You nodded and flipped over onto your stomach, pulling your knees up toward your elbows and putting your ass in the air. This would be easiest if you didn’t have to look at him. If you could imagine someone else. Someone who loved you. Someone who wanted to be here.
You heard the bottle of lube again and then felt him settle between your legs. One hand was on your ass and you presumed he was using the other to line himself up. You pushed your face into the pillow underneath you. You tried to bring the fantasy back as he slowly eased inside of you. He was big, but not so big it hurt. You breathed through it as he worked his way in with short, slow thrusts. He was being so gentle with you. You weren’t sure if you liked it. The hand on your ass moved to your hip, while the other snaked around to your stomach, softly stroking you there, then moved down over your pelvis, and then finally between your thighs to search for your clit. He found it quickly. But no matter how hard you closed your eyes, his fingers made it impossible for you to pretend that it was anyone else with you, anyone else touching you. Without thinking, you pushed his hand away and replaced it with your own.
He was making little grunts and gasps behind you that you tried to ignore. You rubbed furious circles over your clit and tried to focus only on the fullness you felt. But then, that fullness started to lessen. The grunts behind you turned into a “Shit.” and then a “Fuck!” and suddenly, that fullness completely disappeared. You let out a little cry as he quickly pulled out of you. You turned around to catch a glimpse of his softening cock before he disappeared into the bathroom, the door slamming behind him.
You lay on your back for just a moment, your mind trying to catch up, figure out what on earth had just happened. That voice that had been there this whole time, since that first meeting a month ago, came back with smug satisfaction. He doesn’t want you, it said, over and over. Your thighs were sticky, probably mostly from the lube. You didn’t think your wetness or his precome had been enough to make a mess out of you. You got up, desperate to not be naked anymore. You grabbed a sleep shirt out of the closet you were using and slipped it on. You hugged yourself, standing in the middle of the room with no idea what to do.
In the silence, with nothing else to focus on, you were suddenly aware of Lola crying across the hall. Fuck. Everything just kept getting worse.
Ransom came out of the bathroom and went straight to the bed. He stopped at the foot, seemingly surprised that you weren’t still in it. He looked up and found you on the other side of the room.
“Is everything ok?” you asked quietly.
“It’s fine,” he said, voice sharp. You flinched and he sighed, then visibly tried to calm himself down. “It’s fine,” he said again, much softer this time. He held out a washcloth to you. “In case you need to clean yourself up.”
You took a few steps toward him so that you could grab it. “Thank you,” you said, as you quickly wiped between your legs, then went to finish cleaning up in the bathroom.
When you came back out, he was back in bed, on his back, just staring at the ceiling. “What’s that noise?” he asked.
“Oh, it’s fine,” you hurried to answer. “It’s Lola, but she’s ok. She just isn’t used to sleeping alone. She’ll get used to it, eventually.” Your heart broke as you spoke, but you knew it couldn’t be avoided.
“Where does she usually sleep?” he asked.
It took you a minute to answer, you were so surprised by the question. “Uh, with me,” you said.
“Then go get her,” he said, without looking at you. He hadn’t looked at you since you’d come out of the bathroom.
“Really?” you whispered.
“Yeah, if it stops her crying.”
You didn’t wait to be told again. You hurried across the hall and opened her crate, scooping her up into your arms. “I’m so sorry,” you cooed. “I’m so, so sorry. It’s going to be ok now.”
When you got back to the room, Ransom had turned off his light and turned over onto his side, facing the wall. You placed Lola on the bed and crawled in after her. As you turned off your own lamp, you whispered, “Thank you,” not sure if he was awake to hear it.
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