#and trans + bi if you ask the right person (me)

[lgbtqtext]

Hi, there! I saw one of the texts you created that said "bi but gay in practice" and I want to ask, what does that mean? Does it mean like when a bisexual is in a relationship with the same gender, they become gay/lesbian? It just didn't sit right with me. It's like saying bisexuals who haven't been with same gender are 'het in practice'. Also, I'm not trying to be rude, that text just comes across as a biphobic thing to say, you know? /gen /nm

That's actually text about myself. I am not saying that bi people in relationships with a person/people of the same gender makes them gay/lesbian. Bisexuals are bisexual, no matter who they're involved with.

I'm a bi nb trans man, and even though I'm attracted to all genders, I have such a strong preference for men/nb men/demiboys that I wouldn't actually pursue anything at all with women/woman-aligned nbs. Bisexuality is a huge spectrum, and even though I fall on an extreme end, I'm still bisexual. Despite being bisexual, I am quite literally gay in practice. That's what that text was about.

[the-acid-pear]

Actually lie one more Baki post but I just Love Doppo Orochi so much he's such a silly mf he's SUCH a hater yet he's doing fuck all and he's a great fighter but he's old and doesn't bother anymore and he's super prideful and petty but he keeps to himself and he's always around because itagaki knows I'll die where I sit if he stops feeding me also because he's been here in this manga since before Baki himself meaning he's been doing narrator work since the 90s that's 30 fucking years of him sitting on the side crossing his arms and chuckling while explaining shit I seriously love this man so much he's so silly he's so hot and his tits are spectacular Doppo Orochi you're my man and I want you.

[cyrsed]

cutting commentary? dead space remake adds nonbinary character and all-gender restrooms but keeps promotional article about the ishimura containing the phrase "the men and women who serve aboard her" unaltered from the original

[ilovedthestars]

A thought I’ve been having: While it's important to recognize the long history of many current queer identities (and the even longer history of people who lived outside of the straight, cis, allo “norm”) I think it's also important to remember that a label or identity doesn't have to be old to be, for lack of a better word, real.

This post that i reblogged a little while ago about asexuality and its history in the LGBTQ+ rights movement and before is really good and really important. As i've thought about it more, though, it makes me wonder why we need to prove that our labels have "always existed." In the case of asexuality, that post is pushing back against exclusionists who say that asexuality was “made up on the internet” and is therefore invalid. The post proves that untrue, which is important, because it takes away a tool for exclusionists.

But aromanticism, a label & community with a lot of overlap & solidarity with asexuality, was not a label that existed during Stonewall and the subsequent movement. It was coined a couple decades ago, on internet forums. While the phrasing is dismissive, it would be technically accurate to say that it was “made up on the internet.” To be very clear, I’m not agreeing with the exclusionists here—I’m aromantic myself. What I’m asking is, why does being a relatively recently coined label make it any less real or valid for people to identify with?

I think this emphasis on historical precedent is what leads to some of the attempts to label historical figures with modern terminology. If we can say someone who lived 100 or 1000 years ago was gay, or nonbinary, or asexual, or whatever, then that grants the identity legitimacy. but that's not the terminology they would have used then, and we have no way of knowing how, or if, any historical person's experiences would fit into modern terminology.

There's an element of "the map is not the territory" here, you know? Like this really good post says, labels are social technologies. There's a tendency in the modern Western queer community to act like in the last few decades the "truth" about how genders and orientations work has become more widespread and accepted. But that leaves out all the cultures, both historical and modern, that use a model of gender and sexuality that doesn't map neatly to LGBTQ+ identities but is nonetheless far more nuanced than "there are two genders, man and woman, and everyone is allo and straight." Those systems aren’t any more or less “true” than the system of gay/bi/pan/etc and straight, cis and trans, aro/ace and allo.

I guess what I’m saying is, and please bear with me here, “gay” people have not always existed. “Nonbinary” people have not always existed. “Asexual” people have not always existed. But people who fell in love with and had sex with others of the same gender have always existed. People who would not have identified themselves as either men or women have always existed. People who didn’t prioritize sex (and/or romance) as important parts of their lives have always existed. In the grand scheme of human existence, all our labels are new, and that’s okay. In another hundred or thousand years we’ll have completely different ways of thinking about gender and sexuality, and that’ll be okay too. Our labels can still be meaningful to us and our experiences right now, and that makes them real and important no matter how new they are.

We have a history, and we should not let it be erased. But we don’t need a history for our experiences and ways of describing ourselves to be real, right now.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am i the A-hole for trying to protect a women focused space?

I'm the mod from the super one sided retelling of the "Refusing to change OC's sexuality to bi/pan" situation. Shin (the person who wrote that post) know i don't use tumblr so of course he bring the drama here so that people would judge "Laura" and me without knowing the full truth. Thankfully, a dear friend of mine who followed this blog told me about this and was kind enough to allowed me to send this ask using her account.

First of all, it's pretty clear that Shin is lying about his identity. Shin said he is a trans man but he admitted that he don't want to transition beside wanting flat chest. Shin also said that he is south east asian but his display name and his OC's name are all japanese, which is a huge sign of white weeb fetishizing japanese culture. The fact that his english and understanding of slangs is way too good to be south east asian.

Secondly, Shin joining this server knowing that 90% of the members are yumejoshi, he should be grateful of the fact that we even allowed those yaoi characters invading what basically a space for women. I know we advertised the RP as a non-shipping focus death game story but you should have read the room and know what type of people this space is catering to and not bring your gay character in if you didn't want him to be shipped with women.

Thirdly, if Shin was uncomfortable then he should have made it clear from the start instead of letting "Laura"s character flirting with his, like having him respond rudely or out right rejecting her or something. Shin said he is having undiagnosed autism in his bio then he should have understand how it feel when people don't state what they mean clearly. His OC still being nice to "Laura"'s OC even if he didn't like the flirting, of course she would misunderstand that his OC developed romantic feeling for her OC.

Fourthly, Shin said before that he didn't count alternate timeline versions of a character from a visual novel he likes the same as the original timeline version because of their different life experiences then why can't he do the same to his OC? Why can't he just agree to let "Laura" make an alternate version of his character if in his logic they are completely different people? Hypocrite much?

And finally, "Laura" was very upset about this and it took her a while to move on, she could have hurt herself back then because of you. Also, we had to revised our server's rules and banned all the non-yumejoshies, which cut several RPs short.

So who is really the A-hole here?

[genderqueerdykes]

howdy, this may be a stupid question but I saw a post of yours talking about how men can be lesbians and I'm just a little confused? can some men be lesbians just because they identify with the label? and If people of any gender can be lesbians what does being a lesbian mean? my understanding may be flawed so I would really appreciate help in understanding :3

hello there! not a stupid question!

yep, men can be lesbians simply by identifying with the label, that's all there really is to it! that's how every queer identity except intersex works, in fact! in recent years, we've begun welcoming non binary people into lesbian and gay spaces- so why can't we open the doors to other people? this can be for a variety of reasons why a man would identify as a lesbian, transmascs and trans men who started in the lesbian community and still feel a connection to that identity, bi/multigender men, genderqueer men, genderfluid men, intersex men, bi and pan men who feel like their attraction is gay and lesbian instead of gay and straight, lesbian trans women who are also men, the sky is really the limit!

it's a bit complicated to define what terms like "gay" and "lesbian" truly mean, because they don't exist in a static vacuum that can encompass everyone in that given community. every lesbian has a different definition of what lesbian means. many lesbians believe that it strictly means cis women being attracted to cis women, which is definitely not how lesbianism works at all. no two queer people will ever define a queer term the same way. a lesbian is anyone who identifies as one. it can be a queer woman, non binary person, or man, or a gender well beyond that. or no gender at all.

for example, there's a loooooonnnngggg history of trans women who are also gay. many trans women still identify as gay and with the gay community even well after transitioning and not identifying as a man anymore. this has been a well documented experience since the dawn of the modern queer community in the United States, so why can't we extend the same to men and lesbianism?

when i say i'm a lesbian, i mean a lot of things. i do experience queer attraction to women ofc, but for me, lesbianism is about community and expression. it's about my love for other lesbians, dykes and sapphics, not just women. i'm a lesbian-oriented person. i resonate with the community, history, and culture. i feel right at home hearing about other lesbians' struggles and experiences with gender, expression, identity and sexuality. i see myself in other lesbians, dykes, and sapphics, and just because i'm (partially) a man doesn't mean i have to give all of that up!

i hope that makes sense! most queer identities don't have a concrete definition when you get down to brass tacks. for example "genderqueer" is not something that's easily defined at all. people love to argue about what it "really" means but there's no one answer to that. the same goes for lesbianism. the experience is too broad to be able to be defined simply by saying a lesbian is is a woman attracted to women. identity and lived experience is too varied and complex for that

feel free to have any more questions you may have! if you'd like, i highly recommend looking into the life and works of Leslie Feinberg, a transmasculine butch lesbian revolutionary and queer activist who had to transition into manhood in order to feel like hirself as a butch lesbian. zie identified as multigender and never gave up hir lesbian identity, even after living as a man for many years. it was vital to hir butch lesbian identity :) thanks for stopping by, i appreciate you asking!

[nerves-nebula]

I really do like that Rick Riordan fucking tries you know? He doesn’t always get it right, in fact it’s usually a mixed bag but he at least tries to write characters of different races or who are trans or disabled and I’ve never gotten the feeling that I wished he hadn’t tried.

I remember reading somewhere about him asking a bi-gender person what they thought of Alex from the Magnus chase series and they were like “eh could’ve been worse” or something and he was like “not bad for a first try!” And that’s so endearing to me

I think he’s probably an inspiration to me to keep trying to include more kinds of characters in my stuff cuz even if it’s not perfect so many people are happy that someone at least thought they were worth including at all

Sorry idk why I care about this. I’m not drunk anymore tho

[bones4thecats]

Hello, you can, Tfa Starscream x Conjux femme reader, where Starscream's clones are in love with the reader 💙❤️

➸ Clones v. Starscream; Trans. Animated

Character: Starscream and his Clones (Transformers Animated) A/N: This was actually one of my favorite things I've written for the Transformers Franchise. I hope you enjoy it as well, 💙❤️Anon! Disclaimer(s): Nothing, except maybe poly relationships? I'm not sure, didn't get that deep into it.

Star - 💫 / Slip - 💐 / Ram - 🪶 / Sky - 😱 / Thunder - 🌩️ / Sun - 🌦️

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Starscream Clones v. Starscream ══════════════╝

💫 Starscream landed, transforming back into his bi-pedal mode. He was not very amused. Those Primus-forsaken Autobots managed to stop him from gaining another object for his plans! How annoying!

💫 As he walked around the run-down ship that was once the Nemesis, Starscream could hear the voice of his conjunx coming from a couple hallways down. But his conjunx's voice wasn't the only one he heard, he also heard his clones' voices

💫 Speeding up his pace to almost a full-out sprint, the seeker stopped in front of a doorway. There you stood, speaking to Slipstream while Skywarp held onto you from behind. He was acting as if you were his personal plush

💫 Starscream's anger was now soaring. How dare these knockoffs of him start getting along with his conjunx! You were his, not theirs! He's been with you for hundreds of thousands of years, they had only been with you for a couple Earthly months at most!

💫 Hearing a scoff from the entry-way, you turned and saw your conjunx, Starscream, standing there. He was leaning against the doorway with a sour expression on his face. You chuckled and motioned for Skywarp to let you go, which he did

💫 You walked up to Starscream, wrapped your arms around his midsection, and hugged him. Your grasp was better than almost any Cybertronians, especially a femmes. Starscream smiled smugly and hugged you back, glaring at the Clones behind you, you being completely oblivious to the action

"How was your mission on Earth?" You asked.

"I bet he failed." Slipstream voiced.

"Starscream? Fail? That's nonsense." Ramjet said, making Starscream narrow his optics and bawl his servos into fists.

"I recommend you shut your intakes, Clones."

"Exactly. Starscream is one of the best Decepticons ever created. Even better than that bucket-head Megatron." Sunstorm praised.

"Thank you, Sunstorm." Starscream said.

💫 You looked as Slipstream rolled her optics and walked off, her metal hips swaying as she did so. While many mechs would watch, you preferred the sight of the original Starscream's hips moving as he walked around

"Oh please. I am obviously the superior Starscream. You're all mere pieces of scrap compared to my genius." Thundercracker boasted.

"Exactly. And you totally didn't fail your last mission against the Autobot Repair Team."

"Why you-"

"Enough, you two. I think you guys need some time to recharge. Go to your chambers and relax," you added, "and don't bother trying to flatter me out of it. Sunstorm."

💫 Sunstorm shrugged and walked off, the others following suite. You then looked at Starscream and chuckled, hugging him once more as he picked you up and walked to look out of one of the many huge windows that surrounded the now-destroyed war ship that you lived on for many years

"You know, sometimes I think that you like those Clones more than me." Starscream teased, a smirk ever so present on his face.

"More than my original sparkmate? Not possible."

💫 Starscream laughed lightly as you leaned forward and leaned your forehead against his. You could feel the bit of the Allspark in his helm pulsing with his own spark as you gave him affection. While many called him sparkless and a monster, you knew the real Starscream. And he could feel love. And right now was extreme proof of that claim

[gatheringbones]

[“Liz, a cis-lesbian Latina, earned a low income; however, she lived with her wife from whom she was separated, but continued to contribute to her livelihood. Liz also was close to finishing her bachelor’s degree at the time we spoke. When I asked Liz to rate the photo of woman B, a “more visibly trans” Latina, she described the photo in this way:

Liz: Uh . . . this is a wig [on woman B]? [pause] um (laughs) [pause] I don’t know. It’s going to be a [pause] 5 [for woman B]. . . . Because is [pause] she has, I mean she’s a woman. I know she’s a woman, because if she’s dressed up like that and she is, you know, she’s posing like that for the picture, she looks like a woman. So is, she should be considered a woman, but uh in terms of how attracted I am, I’m not because [pause] I see the masculine um [pause; gestures at face]

alithia: Facial structure?

Liz: Yes, facial structure, so I’m not attracted and I also see that it’s obviously a wig. So yeah, but I’m gonna give it a 5, because it’s, I always appreciate and I always uh admire that, you know, they feel like a woman and regardless of what they are, I, I really, I call it bravery. And I love that, but the question is how attracted I am right? Yeah, so I’m gonna give it a 5.

Liz’s response highlights a disapproval of the wig’s visibility as synthetic hair, rather than real human hair. Such a statement points to her desire for a natural look in a woman. Liz’s lack of attraction to a woman due to her wearing a synthetic wig, though, as detailed in chapter 1, is attached to classed and racialized notions of hair and “real” hair. Human hair wigs that use hair grown and harvested from people (mostly women often in the Global South) cost hundreds of dollars, with some even costing up to two-thousand dollars. Transgender women, though, do not always have the financial resources available to afford higher quality wigs that also require higher upkeep than a synthetic wig. Liz additionally highlighted earlier in the interview a desire for a White woman, in particular. While cisgender, White women wear wigs, wigs remain more associated with Black and/or trans women than they do others.

Earlier in the interview, Liz explained to me that education mattered to her in terms of her attractions to women. She preferred “women who have some kind of education . . . They don’t necessarily need to have a bachelor’s degree . . . but at least the intention of pursuing one.” Liz’s lack of attraction to this woman was not simply out of dislike for a particular hairstyle or a particular wig. Instead, Liz’s description of woman B was shaped by raced and classed femininities and notions of desire. Woman B’s wig and aesthetic, in many ways, exemplified what Schippers terms “pariah femininities,” or the embodiment of those characteristics and behaviors that “are simultaneously stigmatized and feminized.” Woman B was hyperfeminine but did not embody hegemonic femininity.

In comparison to Liz, Amanda was a cis-bi, Black woman who lived in poverty, did not have stable housing, and had not completed high school. Amanda was the only cis woman participant to intentionally choose a “more visibly trans” participant. Amanda desired a woman who looks like she parties and goes out to clubs and bars often. She did not find woman B to be more beautiful than the others, but she liked the way woman B dressed. Amanda chose woman B “only because it looks like I’ll have more fun with that person, and then just by the background, it looks like they have that street life like that.” Amanda, then, both chose “visibly trans” women not because of their physical features but more so based off dress in comparison to others who found these women unappealing because of their physical features and clothing. Amanda herself wore clothing like woman B and had brightly colored box braids, and she desired a woman that was a “hustler . . . because you know how to get money.” Amanda’s attraction to woman B because she “looks like [she has] that street life” highlighted her affiliation for pariah femininities. Amanda did not desire a woman who embodied hegemonic femininities nor White, middle-class femininity. “More visibly trans” women like woman B displayed a pariah femininity that, for Amanda, was desirable not because of how it looked but for what it represented.”]

alithia zamantakis, from thinking cis: cisgender heterosexual men, and queer women’s roles in anti-trans violence, 2023

[city-tickles]

Hi!

Here a couple of new tickle stories from parties I have gone to in NYC. This one has trans ff/m tickling, m/ff tickling and ff/m tickling!

A few weeks ago, I went to another kink party, wearing this shirt in an attempt to get more attention.

It worked because a nice trans couple came up to me and asked if I wanted to session. I agreed and we went over to the rack that looks like this:

I always wanted to try that rack and it did not disappoint. The couple spent about 20 minutes scribbling and tickling all over, mostly my upper body. It was a nice contrast since one of them had sharper nails and the other had softer nails. So my body did not know what to do sometimes. The TicklingDuck device came out again as well, but this time it was used a lot on my neck. I have never been tickled on my neck to that degree so it was a lot of laughing and squirming but there was no place for me to go, so they just went for it. They were also great teasers, talking about how much I love this because I was laughing so much 😂

After that, I ran into them a couple more times and even watched their own couple tickling session but we never got a chance to play more that evening.

Story 2:

I went to a bi-weekly foot party that I last went to in the summer. During that time I met one of the models who absolutely loved tickling.

I got there late and it was very hot and crowded. To break some ice, I session with one girl who isn't super ticklish on her feet at all but is on her stomach so I did a lot of tummy and side tickles to her. After her, I ended up talking to another girl, a tall, blonde woman, about tickling and then my girl from last time came out. I told her that I was gonna session with the blonde and then we can play after. The summer girl asks if I want to do both at the same time and a light bulb just went off!

I decide to session with both at the same time. unfortunately it's real crowded tonight but we managed to find room. It’s a little awkward since we are on couches and behind protection, but right next to you is someone else playing. You just have to block it out and focus on your fun.

One awkward part that happened is that these parties have curtain setups to "protect you" and there was a pause because one of the curtains dropped, so I was def spotted just in stocks, being tickled. I also felt a little bad because we're next to other people playing and I'm sure the guy who is doing foot worship was not here to see my (well taken care of) feet haha but you just roll with it

Initially we take turns tickling each other tickle fight style. Summer tickles me then Blonde or I get her and Blonde gets us both. I was in the middle so they would gang up on me a bit tickling all over my sides.

I asked if I could use my stocks, which they were on board with. So BOTH of their feet are locked in the sticks while they lay back and I do my best to tickle both of them at the same time or switch off. It's the closest I ever felt to being in a video 😂.

I would tickle both of their feet if one person's legs and the other person's foot or stretch myself out as much as I could to get their upper bodies, or get one then go after the other. They would even tickle each other in the stocks. I also got to use the vibration device from tickling duck It was great! I did that for maybe 20 minutes then asked if I could lee

So they have me lay back, put my feet in the stocks, have me put on a blindfold I bought with me, then start to go to down. They're all over my feet with fingers or feathers or the device, or a mix of both. One moment it was a feather, while someone was using their fingers. While I'm laughing the whole time. Then they would switch off with one person on my feet and the other person on my sides and tummy. Later, they had me hold my arms up while one held my arms down and the other attacked my armpits or sides. The only drawback was sometime the nails were sharp and they hurt but it was more good than bad. That happened for about another 20 minutes until I actually gave up (partially cause I knew this would cost so much money)

The cherry on top was the teasing and also lack of teasing. One moment I can hear them having just a regular conversation while tickling me, which was almost worse because they can talk about tv and torture me at the same time 😂 Other times they would tease me saying he’s giggling so much and laughing so hard. They also would say things like “Aww. We could tell he needed this today” even though they were teasing, they were right. I was having a rough couple of days so I did need that laugh.

But overall, it was awesome and worth the money. I was like actually tired afterwards. It’s rare that I have get worn out from tickling but they made it happen lol

Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed these stories!

[jugsonmydick]

I don't believe that this is a kink, dude...maybe you're just a run of the mill, creepy male rapist. The loser bi chicks in your inbox believe that this is a kink, but I doubt any normal person would. I think you really ARE a dangerous male. This is reality. This is who you are. Your masturbatory fantasies confirm you to be inhuman, because all rape lovers surrender their humanity via their arousal towards stripping someone else of their body and their own right to it. Those who claim that their violent rape fantasies are simply fantasies are trying to preserve their own sanity and supposed innocence. I don't feel sympathy for you, but in that same vein, i couldn't possibly imagine what would drive someone to these fetishes and ways of thinking. Similar blogs focused on raping lesbian women also vex me, but at the same time, don't as much as yours does. The way you type is very distinct, and in a way, it sounds like you are trying to sound "dumb." Is this also a part of your fetish? Sounding like a "dumb woman" while talking about raping trans men and lesbians? Perverted trans women are the same as every other man; fathers, brothers, uncles, male friends, strangers, because they are all cabable of fetishizing rape and women's suffering. They "live" as one, but they cannot see that they are real. You want jugs on your dick, but are unable to humanize the women that you stroke your dick to. You don't see yourself as having sex with another humam being. I would not even be generous enough to say that you objectify women with what you post. You talk about women like weird animals. How does someone live this way without becoming a suicide statistic? Do you think if your mother had a glimpse into the future of her son that she would not have taken a knife to her own stomach and torn you out of her body? Have you considered that your mother, as a woman, has always been and always will be terrified of men like you? That all women are? Do you think she would have wailed in horror at the nauseating thing her son would become? It is not my intent to try and change you because I feel as though that is not my responsibility, nor is it possible, I just need to know if you are self-aware or not. You sound like an insane perverted man, and if you're not on the sex offender registry now, you will be. I understand if this ask is embarrassing, but most people would agree that you belong in a padded room. Apologies for any typos I may have made, and though this might come off as aggressive, it comes from a place of genuine curiosity, fear, a bit of disgust, frustration, but not genuine malice/ill intent. Please post this and respond! That is all I ask.

hi, uh, wow. i didnt see this till now. normally i would type out a big, thoughtful response full of lots of synapse-frying pornlingo but in this case i think it would be more frustrating for you if i kept it short and sweet and just straight up told you "hi! this made my dick hard. you should dm me so that i can turn my brain off and jerk off to your pretty face while you keep yapping off words that go in through one ear and out the other. 😇"

[thelonewildgirl]

Hello, welcome to my blog🐾✨♊️

Before we get started, if you are a minor, bigot, negative, pedo, wanting to start drama with me or just fucked up in general, stay the fuck off of my shit. HARD DNI if you are a Trump supporter, self harm and eating disorder vlog!!!!

I’m Randa or Ray, age 30 my pronouns are she/her/ them/ they and I’m a proud bi-sexual. I support all equal rights including trans, all kinds of skin tones and women’s rights (men’s rights as well).

In 2017, maybe 2018 I started tumblr with very little knowledge. I had 2 - 3 accounts and deleted them for personal reasons. Now, I love how I can express myself and block anyone who wants to be negative about it.

My interest includes

-anything horror/goth/spooky

-planting and outdoors

-photography (I don’t plan on making a career on it lmao!!)

-anything underrated/usual

-animals

-making connections with people

-cooking

-shopping

-swimming

-art

-spreading love everywhere I go

As said in the bio, I am taken. Please be respectful of my relationship or you will be blocked. Also, if I don’t respond to your DMS/ ask right away, please be patient. My notifications are turned off so I can focus on my actual life.

I hope to be a positive influence in your life and I can learn as much as I can while I’m here. Thank you for taking the time to look over my blog❤️🖤

[drdemonprince]

can i ask for some sex advice? im a bisexual trans guy, i’ve been with cis women and had hookups with a cis guy where he just went down on me. i’m generally attracted to all genders, but sexually i find myself turned off/repulsed by penises and cum so i’ve only pursued hookups with ppl with vulvas (so far cis women and other ftms) or situations where i don’t have to interact with the penis. totally fine with trans women and femmes who are post-op, etc. i’ve just been worried that i’m gross/transphobic/a chaser? even though im bi i feel like a shitty person for not being into dick.

Hey, thanks for the question. I think it is a good thing to be asking oneself. I think that even if you were to conclude that your attitudes were transphobic, I don't think the solution would be pushing yourself to have sex you didn't want to have or trying to force yourself to "get over" the associations that you have. That won't work, and it's not your fault for having them. What matters is how we treat people, not what fleeting thoughts and emotions we might have privately, which is part of why it is so annoying for cis people to act as if they are persecuted for having a "genital preference" or whatever. The problem isn't their feelings. It's their exclusionary, cruel, often violent actions and the words they express publicly.

I think it's worth contemplating that many trans femme people have absolutely no desire to use their penises during sex, or can't because of various medical issues, and do not produce cum that looks anything like the way most cis men produce cum. How would you feel about a trans woman who does have a penis using a strap-on on you? About you two fisting each other? About you using a hitachi magic wand on her? How do you feel when you see a trans guy with a post-phalloplasty cock? Try to reflect on questions like these with curiosity and not judgement.

Maybe you will explore your feelings and find that there are still barriers; maybe for example you wouldn't feel comfortable going down on someone's penis, but would be happy to be fucked with a strap-on by someone who has a penis, or to fuck them. That's okay. Lots of trans women want exactly that kind of sexual encounter anyway. And lots more are open minded and recognize that T4T sex is experimental and free-floating and doesn't have to involve any specific sex acts. Negotiating these things should be done delicately and respectfully, but it is always fine to say "I don't do [xyz]" or "I don't want to do xyz right now."

I relate more to your question that you might know, albeit from a different direction. I have a lot of dysphoria about having a vagina; though PIV can feel good, what I most picture myself as having in my mind's eye is nothing at all between my legs. I hate receiving oral, as I've talked about a lot, but I'm also dysphoric about and disturbed by giving oral to a person with a vagina. I have also experienced a lot of sexual trauma that involved a (typically cis male) partner forcing or pressuring me to have sex with cis women. That's happened to me many times over the course of my life. It's also made facing any pressure whatsoever to have sex with women (either cis or trans) deeply triggering and upsetting to me.

All of my own personal hang-ups and traumas have left me feeling funnily very much like that one line from Saltburn, "Women are too wet. Men are so lovely and dry."

I do get into my head about it being super transphobic of me sometimes. But I have also had fun, carefree, experimental, gratifying, hot sex with trans men with vaginas. I might not be able to eat them out, but there's lots I can do. I can finger them, put my hands in them, eat their asshole, take their strap, suck their strap-on, kiss them, fondle them, play with their nipples, be fucked alongside them, writhe atop a single hitachi together with them, slap their ass, put a dildo in them, whatever. I just don't want to eat them out or have them eat me out, for the most part.

It would be highly understandable if a trans guy felt invalidated by my feeling that way or didn't want to have sex with me given those limits. that's fine. I understand this stuff is fraught and sucks sometimes. I don't talk about my feelings around this topic publicly often because it is so contentious and I don't want feelings to be hurt. But in my heart I'm comfortable with where I am at. I know which limits I have that seem immovable and I don't really want to push them ever again. Having those limits pushed is what traumatized me. At the same time, I know it's not connected in any way to seeing trans men as lesser than cis men, or as less attractive, and I know it's not a barrier to me having sex with trans men if the moment and our interests both align. I'm not a bad person for feeling this way. It's actually really hard to be trans and to be wired this way. But I'm doing the best I can with it to both grow, and not be an asshole, and also to find fulfillment.

[blackknight-kai]

ASKS & INFO Pinned Post

Kai’s note: 😊 Asks are closed for now as of 11/15 will open soon when I get through work / current asks.

Keep it to Sun Wukong/Destineded One Black Myth Wukong. I’ve added Monkey King Reborn Wukong ☺️

I’m not well versed on the og lore I’m sorry….Nsfw is okay! If I can’t do it or I’m not comfy I’ll private message you. (I do work full time so bear with me if I don’t get to you right away)

I’m a bit slow during the week getting to them. Plus if I’m particularly inspired and actually write a mini fic instead of bullet points it takes a little longer. If I don’t get to yours just know it’s because I may not have something for what you requested 🫂 I’m giving my best at them so I apologize if I can’t get yours.

Ask template:

- [ ] Gender for reader: Fem, Male, Gen Neutral. - I default to gender neutral or fem BUT I will write male 😊😊😊

- [ ] Type: Be a little specific on what you want, nsfw or fluff.

- [ ] OCs: I won’t do these sorry guys 🫂🫶.

- [ ] I write for both monkeys so do you want 1 or both? (If both I give a small Drabble/HC on each.

NON N.S.F.W stuff -

- [ ] I like silly fun ideas and prompts very very much!

- [ ] love fluff!!!!! Or anything that makes me laugh.

- [ ] Angst is…selective - I like happy endings. I don’t mind resolved angst but I’m a baby and too much is hard.

N.S.F.W:

- [ ] Be a little specific, like if it’s a male request, do you want WK/DO to take you or are you taking him. ladies if you wanna peg him that’s cool too I just gotta know

- [ ] I will write knotting stuff/rut/season stuff.

- [ ] Rough play is okay!

- [ ] Yandere is okay!

All that said, again I’m gonna do my best! I cannot promise you I will get yours or that it’ll be as long as another but I see you and I appreciate you very very very much for thinking of me and asking me 🫶🐒

FICS: Find my tag “BK Kai Writes” for any fics/asks I make 🤟here

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackKnight_Kai/pseuds/BlackKnight_Kai

(AO3 I am uploading the drabbles over time there so they will be in the collection)

About:

- [ ] 30 years old and I obviously play games.

- [ ] I’m a very open person and a safe person no judgments from me!! Straight, gay, bi, trans, ace, whatever you are, I’m cool with you. So even if we never interact and you needed somebody to listen I’ll do it!

- [ ] I do tend to cuss a lot so just let me know if that’s not you’re thing and I can tone that down. Im not out to make anyone uncomfortable but at the same time just know it’s part of me.

Again, if we never interact but you see this post I hope you have a fantastic fucking day because you’re amazing!

[genderqueerdykes]

Really appreciate this blog and what it shares. Got into an arguement with someone who was a transfem TIRF (didn’t realize that was even a thing at the time lmao) and it left me feeling really upset due to the both gross ways she’d talked about trans men and the fact that she got a lot of support in the notes. So coming here and seeing in fact most people love and care about us transmascs is nice.

Won’t argue again next time I see an account like that cuz it’s kinda obvious people in those circles are prolly not getting out but yeah.

i am so sorry you had that experience. i'm glad you're advocating for yourself and choosing to not argue with that person again.

i honestly refuse to socialize with a person when i see them be that openly hateful with no attempts to change. i stopped talking to one of my old roommates after he started saying all kinds of transandrophobic shit, shitting on transmascs bodies and calling them gross because he's "gay" and could never be into vaginas or breasts. my ex (trans)gf literally fucking yelled at me for not wanting to be his friend after this. like actually fucking yelled at me numerous times. i asked her if she would be comfortable staying his friend if he was transmisogynistic toward her and told her her body was disgusting, and she said yeah of course, as if somehow that wouldn't cause her pain. nobody gave a flying fuck about how transandrophobia affects transmascs, so i said fuck all of you and stopped being their friends.

there are so many people who have gladly jumped on the rad fem train and it's so sad. that's no way to live your life. that's such a hateful ideology. rad feminism is nothing but hate. it's hate for yourself for being a woman because you equate womanhood to suffering. it's hate for other women because they're not women "right" like you are. it's hate for transmascs and trans men. it's hate for nonbinary people. it's hate for genderfluid people. it's hate for trans, nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid, gnc, bi, & pan lesbians. it's hate for butches who are men. for TIRFs in specific, it's hate for other trans people because they're "trans wrong". rad feminism is hatred all the way down no matter how you look at it. rad feminism will never be productive or progressive. it's about wallowing in your misery, mining for sympathy and pity, and crying about how you're powerless and defenseless instead of doing something about it. it's admitting defeat.

as a fellow transmasc, i'm just over it. i'm not gonna stew in self hatred. i had a friend who WAS transmasc who basically forced me to hate myself for being a trans man. always going on and on about how they hated certain transmascs and trans men, how they were "Whiny and entitled"... yikes dude. you can keep hating yourself over there, but i genuinely love being transmasc & a trans man. coming out as a trans man literally saved my fucking life. i was a depressed mess that hated myself before i came out. i've never loved myself more. and if someone else can't love what i love about myself? they're not worth my damn time.

i'm not here to throw transmascs under the bus just to kiss up to transfems to try to look progressive for brownie points. that shit is underhanded and dirty. we can support all trans people at once. we aren't football teams. you don't have to pit random queer identities against one another. we're on the same side. none of us are enemies. none.

thanks for taking the time to stop by! take care of yourself, i'm glad that i could help in any way. i am just OVER people forcing transmascs and trans men to hate themselves and exist solely to talk about trans women and transfems and nothing else. i am just over people making men and mascs feel like shit. it's done. it's over. i'm not participating, and neither are you. pack that shit up into a box, and throw it in the garbage. we're working together whether or not you like it. the only way we get out of this is together. our fight for liberation is NOT a crab bucket- you do NOT have to pull someone else down when you see them rise up and advocate for themselves.

[willalove75]

stop simping over women and pay attention to your husband. You clearly made your choice to be with a man and have his child rather than choose a woman. You bisexual women don’t get to exist in lesbian spaces when you lean towards men. Unless your husband lets to you step out on your marriage or lets you have delusional thoughts that any lesbian would want a woman knocked up by a man. You bisexual women who lean more towards men or are with men have no right to be in sapphic or lesbian spaces. And lady d is a lesbian so as if she would be with someone who let a man touch them let alone knock them up.

Oh, I'm sorry, did my husband tell you that I'm not giving him enough attention? Didn't think so.

Yes, I made a choice to be with him, because I fell in love with him. Because he's my best friend and my biggest supporter in everything I do (yes, he even supports my writing and fics and he tells me often how proud he is of me). I did not chose him because he's a man. Truthfully, his gender had absolutely nothing to do with why I married him. I just happened to fall in love with and marry a man, but that does NOT make me any less of a bisexual woman.

"You bisexual women..." and people question whether or not bi-erasure is a thing, meanwhile, this entire ask is such a great example of just that😒

"delusional thoughts that any lesbian would want a woman knocked up by a man." is truly offensive to not only every bi woman who has been with a man, but any woman who has. What about the lesbians that got pregnant by men?? Because this may come as a shock to you, but it does happen. It may not happen a lot or often, but it does. Does that mean that those women are "tainted" or "ruined" also??? No it fucking doesn't, you idiot.

It really makes me laugh when people try and use a fictional character to make a real life argument. You want to know why? BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT FUCKING REAL!!! So honestly, you have absolutely no idea if that's true or not because she's a fake fucking character from a video game. Are you also this upset at the fic writers who make her trans??? Or what about fic writers that make Alcina's partner trans??? Or are you just that much of biphobic person and this is the hill you're choosing to die on?? Either way, you're an actual bigot.

This post just SCREAMS biphobia and bi-erasure and it's fucking gross. You are so very obviously projecting your own issues and insecurities in this and honestly I would be embarrassed if I were you. Because not a single thing you said is true AT ALL or holds any merit.

Bisexual women who lean towards men or who are with men ABSOLUTELY do belong in those spaces. Just because a bisexual woman is married/with a man or leans towards men does not discredit or change their sexuality. No bi person automatically becomes straight if they date/marry the opposite gender or become gay/lesbian if they date/marry the same gender. It's called BIsexual. More than one gender. You do not get to invalidate every bi person with this shitty (and inherently wrong) opinion.

I know you wrote this trying to get a rise out of me, and congratulations because you succeeded. But I also know that people like you leave messages like this because they feel so broken and hurt and shitty that they want others to feel like that too. Unfortunately for you, I grew up in the era that birthed anonymous hate messages so you'll have to try harder next time. Not only that, but I am proud and confident in who I am and no pathetic anonymous (especially anonymous, you pussy) message is going to shake me.

I am a proud bisexual woman. I am proud to be married to my husband. I am proud that I will soon be the mother of a little boy who I will raise to be a much better person than you'll ever be. I am proud of what I've written and no, I will not stop.