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agent-whiskeys-sweetheart · 3 years

Text

Meant To Be (iii)

Pairing: Hotch x F!Reader

Summary: After meeting Garcia you make quick work of helping with the case, desperate to prove yourself to Hotch. Once the two of you help the team wrap everything up it’s time for them to return home. Which also means it’s time for you and Hotch to talk. One on one.

Warnings: Nothing in this chapter.

Word Count: 5,288

A/N: I wanna say I’m super happy you guys are enjoying this series cause honestly I’m having a lot of fun writing it! I love you all dearly. (If you’re just now finding this series, that’s perfectly alright! I’m glad you’re here! Feel free to catch up and enjoy the rest of the story. Here’s a link to Part 1 and Part 2 of Meant To Be.)

The elevator ride to the bottom floor of the building was quick, allowing you to make your way to Garcia’s office in a matter of minutes. There was a plaque up next to the door, indicating that you were in the right place. Taking a moment to steady yourself you exhale before knocking on the door. A voice on the other side tells you to come in so you do. Around you are dozens of impressive looking monitors, all of which are doing something different. On top of the long L-shaped desk there were several small trinkets and toys, bringing a sort of life into the dark room. The woman sitting in front of you spins around in her chair to look at you, a quick flash of confusion on her face. She looks extremely kind and everything about her appearance makes you want to smile.

“Hello. My name is Y/N L/N. Are you Penelope Garcia?”

“Yes, I am. What can I do for you?” Once you’re sure you’re in the right place you step forward to shake her hand. She stands so that you are both on the same level now, shifting awkwardly.

“Sorry to barge in like this. Everything has gone pretty fast this morning. I’m a new agent for the BAU. Today is my first day. The rest of the team just left on a case and SSA Hotchner asked me to stay behind and help from here.” Her face lights up with a bright smile.

“Oh, that’s awesome! It’s really nice to meet you! Please come in, sit down. Make yourself comfortable.” With this, she pulls another chair up to the desk and then sits back down in her own. “I didn’t actually know we had any new agents joining us. That being said, welcome! I’m almost always here by myself so the company will be nice. You and I can get to know each other.” You nod with a smile, watching her as she continues what she was doing. There are several different tabs open across the screens with loads of information that she seems to be compiling. When she sees your incredulous face she laughs.

“I know, it’s a lot. I’m just trying to get as much preliminary information as I can to send to the team. That’s what you’ll be helping me with. We collect research, data, important records. Anything they need to find out, we provide. Kind of cool, right?” Remaining silent, you nod. Upon seeing this, Garcia stops typing for a moment. “I know it may not seem as exciting as field work but it’s still very important. Don’t worry, I’ll make it fun. I promise you won’t be bored.” Patting your knee, she continues typing and you watch carefully now. This is where you will be until the case is over so you intend to make the absolute best of it. Everyone on the team has their own special skills and now is the time to learn from Garcia.

“So what exactly are you looking for right now?”

“I am compiling a list of the victim’s friends and family, plus witnesses from the robberies who might be able to give us any information. This will give the others a clear list of where to go first. I’m also seeing what I can find about the people who were at the banks on the days of the robberies in case there’s anything useful they need to know. Financial troubles, criminal records, anything to possibly link the witnesses to one another.” Scooting your chair forward so you can see better, you lean an elbow on the desk.

“What can I help with?” You ask hopefully.

“Oh, I think that was the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. I can’t even count on one hand how many times I’ve had someone down here and all they do is sit and look over my shoulder. Sorry, rambling. I can get you logged into a monitor here and it looks like the next thing on my list was looking into the victim’s workplace. Sound good?”

“Yes, absolutely.” She moves over quickly and gets a separate monitor opened so you can begin researching.

“We’ll probably do what research we can in the next twenty to thirty minutes and then we’ll call the team to tell them what we’ve found out.” With that, you make quick work of doing everything you can in the time you have. Even if it is the last thing you ever do, you will prove to Aaron Hotchner just how valuable a team member you are.

++++++++++

The jet takes off fairly soon once the team is onboard. They all stow their go-bags and begin settling in for the flight. It is going to be a longer one today so they are all preparing themselves for the journey. Aaron finds a seat near a far window where he sets the case file down in front of himself and begins reading. His mind is swimming with thoughts and he will do anything to quiet them. The scene plays out over and over in his head, the memory still painfully fresh. Why had he said those things? He was unnecessarily harsh and he is fully aware of this. Now the first memory you’ll have of starting your dream job will be your new boss treating you appallingly. What had even compelled him to speak to you that way? Seeing you had overwhelmed him. The way you looked when you came into his office for the first time. The way your hair framed your face, the light hopefulness in your eyes, the way you captivated him with your movements. Standing there, just feet away from him, you had looked just as beautiful as the first day he met you. God, why did he lie like that? How could he have said he didn’t recognize you when you had stayed in his thoughts more times than he would like to admit over the past year? All the emotions he felt at the mere thought of you made him nauseous and he had no way of understanding them. As badly as he felt for it, he knew that for the time being it would be best to let you work from the BAU headquarters.

“Hotch, are you okay?” JJ’s voice brings him quickly back to reality. The fact that she could see how deeply in thought he was makes him feel an odd sense of shame and he straightens in his seat.

“Of course, I’m fine.” With this, she goes back to her own seat. With a huff of exhaustion, Hotch continues reading. The cabin is silent for a time as the other team members sit reading their case files.

“So,” Morgan’s voice breaks the quiet. “What do we think of Y/N?” The mention of your name causes Hotch to perk up against his will.

“Well, I like her.” Emily is the first to chime in. “I know you guys all got to meet her before me but there’s just something about her. An inherent sweetness. I’m really excited to work with her.”

“Me, too,” JJ says next. “I thought she was kind and open. In this job, that kind of personality is hard to find. I just hope the things she sees doesn’t cause her to lose that. The world needs more kind people, not less. She seems tough though. I think she can handle it.”

“I totally agree,” Morgan adds, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. “She’s got a little bit of fierceness in her but I like that. You’ve gotta be tough to do this job but she’s also sweet. That’s important too. Plus, that kid’s got the cutest smile. Kind of reminds me of my sisters.” At the mention of your smile, Hotch closes his eyes briefly trying to picture that smile directed at him. He quickly catches himself and looks back down at the file.

“Well, I can’t say I know her that well yet but she seems intelligent. She certainly has eagerness to learn. I think that will help her be successful. It’s very ... refreshing.” Spencer says with a small smile.

“I agree. Right off the bat she’s got a very likable energy,” Rossi begins letting himself trail off for a moment. “Although, I have to say there is something about her that is so familiar. I can’t quite place how I might know her though. Her name too, I recognize it. For a second I thought she recognized me too but I can’t be sure.” The rest of the team watches him for a moment as he tries to recollect how he knows you but he quickly comes up blank. “I’m sure I’ll think of it eventually. Nevertheless she seems like a good kid. I’m excited to see her at work. Just a shame we’ll all have to wait.”

Hearing this Aaron shifts in his seat, knowing that the comment is directed at him since he was the one that made you stay behind. He is suddenly very aware of the other team members looking at him.

“Yeah, Hotch. Why isn’t she here? I thought for sure you’d wanna see what she can do.” Derek locks eyes with Aaron, causing him to debate how to answer the question. All his life Hotch has worked to control his feelings and the way that they manifest so his face remains expressionless as he thinks for a short second.

“I think that for right now her time would be better spent helping Garcia and getting used to her new environment. I agree that she does seem very intelligent and more than capable. I would just like to speak with her one on one first before thrusting her into the high intensity atmosphere that comes with our line of work.” However, this answer doesn’t seem to satisfy Morgan’s curiosity.

“She told me when she came out of your office that you said you didn’t remember her. Is that true?” This continued line of questioning makes his blood begin to boil. Aaron Hotchner of all people knows that lies are what cause the foundations of trust to crumble. If he can’t be honest with himself, how can he expect to be honest with his team? And yet, he finds himself unable to expose his own misdeed.

“Yes, that is correct. We’ve had a lot of cases come and go in the last few years and no one should be expected to remember every interaction they have in that length of time. According to her it was only one day and it was a long time ago at that. I apologized to her and she understood. That is the end of it.”

“Look, I’m not passing judgement Hotch. I’m just saying I can understand why she was so hurt,” Hearing this causes his heart to clench. “She looks up to you. She didn’t even have to tell me that, I could just see it. You mentored her in a time that was very uncertain, when she had a lot to prove. She still has a lot to prove and I’m sure she thought that you would have her back and the first thing you tell her is that you don’t even remember who she is? I get it man, you’re under a lot of stress right now but she’s a part of your team. I just thought you of all people would be a little more sensitive than that.”

His words cut right through Aaron’s heart like a knife but before he has a chance to say anything the laptop screen in the center of the cabin lights up, revealing you and Garcia. Glad for a break from the tension the rest of the team members look toward the screen. With one last glance at Morgan, Hotch leans towards him. “We will discuss this later.” His voice is firm and dangerous but he pulls away to look at the laptop. “What did you find?” He directs at the two of you.

Seeing him causes you to straighten in your seat as you ready yourself to put on your most professional face. Garcia begins telling everyone what she was able to find out about the victim. She has significantly more information than you do but once she’s done she allows you to share what you found. The victim worked at a local grocery store but he had been previously employed at the bank where the robbery took place. The team begin building a rough profile based on the information. You listen closely to their analysis of the unsubs, making mental notes on what you might add to the profile. Before you have a chance to add anything, Hotch thanks the two of you for your work and hangs up. For a moment, you could swear you saw a hint of sadness when he looked at you but you were sure it was just a glitch on the screen.

“Sorry sweetpea. I could totally tell you wanted to add something. They can be pretty abrupt like that sometimes.” You simply give a small shrug. “Well, why don’t you tell me what it was? It’ll give you a little practice for building profiles.” She scoots to the edge of her chair, looking at you intently to which you give a small laugh.

“Well, as we know all of the unsubs are large burly men. The five of them could easily subdue the few weaker people that were present at each of the robberies and yet they chose to bring guns. I believe this shows that they feel a certain sense of inadequacy in their everyday lives. Despite their masculine appearance I would suspect they all have mediocre jobs where they are looked down upon or treated poorly. It’s possible that they all work at the same place but I would imagine they probably met somewhere else. Maybe a support group of some sort. The use of weapons gives them a sense of power over the victims that helps them live out their mass fantasy. The victim of the last crime scene was shot in the head which indicates some personal relationship between him and the unsub who pulled the trigger. That could be a good place to start.”

“Well, it definitely makes sense to me. Maybe we can start looking in to possible support groups for these type of men. Oh, and anyone that might possibly have had reason to kill our victim.” Garcia immediately begins typing and you scoot closer to her side.

“Shouldn’t we wait for the order from Hotch?” She laughs at this.

“Trust me, sweetheart. At the end of the day he’s gonna thank us for the head start. One thing to know about the boss man. He likes to see initiative but he also wants you to follow his exact orders. It’s a fine balance but once you figure out how to work the line, he’s gonna love you for it.” The thought of Hotch loving you for anything at all in the world makes your heart flutter. Almost instantly you stop that train of thought and berate yourself for even entertaining it.

“Well, I guess we better get started then.” The rest of the day goes smoothly. You and Garcia coordinate everything beautifully, finding a good amount of information that you save to send to Hotch at the most convenient time. The day seems to be over almost as quickly as it began and you thank Garcia before heading out to your car. The drive home seems to be much more monotonous than before. It seems like you’re back inside your apartment and stretched out on the couch before you can hardly blink. Rolling over, you reach for your phone which you had thrown on the coffee table. With a groan, you begin dialing your sister’s number. As much as today sucked there was no one in the world you’d rather vent to than your sister.

“Well hey there babe. I’ve been patiently awaiting your call. Give me just a minute to get sat down. I want to hear every last detail.” There are sounds of shuffling on the other side of the phone as she finds a seat. “Okay, I’m all good. Now, tell me about your first day at the BAU! Was it everything you dreamed it would be?”

“Yeah, not exactly,” You laugh. “It was kind of rough to be honest.” There is a moment of silence as you think how to begin.

“Okay. Start at the beginning, walk me through it.”

“Alright. Well, I got inside and I was honestly just in awe of being there, just getting to stand in that room. It felt like I was invincible. Derek Morgan was the first one to talk to me. He was just as charming as I remembered. Anyway, he introduced me to the rest of the team and we got to talk for a bit which was really nice, you know? From the get go I really felt like part of the team.”

“Now you know I hate to interrupt but all of this sounds great!”

“Yeah, well, that was the best part of the day and it didn’t last very long. After I met everyone I went up to Aaron Hotchner’s office to give him my paperwork. I’m sure you know by now that I was pretty excited to see him again, right? Well, when I told him how excited I was to be working with him again he told me that he didn’t actually know who I was. He completely forgot about me. I mean, I guess I get it. It’s been a year and a half and he meets a lot of people. Why would he remember me specifically?”

“Y/N, don’t invalidate your own feelings. What he said upset you and it’s okay to be hurt. That would have hurt my feelings too. You’re a really great person and he sucks for not thinking about you ever since he met you.” Hearing this, you can’t help but laugh a bit. Her ability to defend you no matter what always cheers you up.

“Thank you. I appreciate that. I just wish he thought the same. Anyway, I gave him my paperwork so I could travel with the team. They got a case this morning and I was planning to go with them but for some reason Hotch made me stay behind even though I am cleared to be in the field. It just really bummed me out because I was super ready to get out there and start working but I got benched for my very first case. He had me stay with this girl named Garcia, she’s the team’s technical analyst. I mean, she’s really sweet and we worked super well together but I just wish I could have been out there doing the things that I spent seven years of my life training for.”

“I am so sorry. That sucks. I know how excited you were. Look at the bright side, this is only your first case. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to get out there and prove yourself. It’s all gonna work out.” Unable to keep from smiling, you roll over on your side.

“Thanks. I really hope you’re right.” Sensing the fact that you’re still upset she decides to help by changing the subject.

“So, who all did you meet today? I know you already knew a few of the team members but was there anybody new?”

“Yeah, Elle and Gideon are no longer there. I’m really sad I missed getting to work with them but the people I met seem really amazing. The first girl I met was named Emily Prentiss. She was really nice. The other was a guy named David Rossi.” When you finish your sentence there is nothing but silence on the other end of the phone. You wait a minute for your sister’s response but there is nothing. Before you can ask what’s wrong she chimes in again.

“Did you say David Rossi?” There is a tone in her voice that you don’t recognize and it causes concern to stir in your stomach.

“Yeah, why? What’s up?” There is another moment of silence.

“It’s -- it’s nothing. I shouldn’t bring it up. You’ve already had a rough day.” As if she can sense your anxiety she continues. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad. I promise I’ll tell you later, okay? I just don’t think we should talk about it right now, that’s all.” As much as you want to pry you can tell that no matter how much you ask, you’re not getting the answer out of her. With a sense of unease you agree and try changing the conversation again. Once you’ve changed the topic to something other than work you can feel her ease again and the two of you talk for nearly 45 minutes. After a while you decide to call it a night and shortly afterwards you find yourself in bed. You hadn’t even realized how exhausted you were until your head hit the pillow. Your sleep is dreamless which you decide in the morning is probably a good thing.

++++++++++

The remainder of the case is spent hunkered down in Garcia’s office either doing frantic research or simply getting to know one another. In just a short while the two of you become very fast friends. You realize quickly that you share a lot of common interests and all of your conversations are endlessly fascinating. It also doesn’t take you very long to realize that you actually enjoy the work that you do with her. There is quite a bit of skill required to dig as deeply and accurately as the two of you do. It is a race against the clock to find everything you need in order to help the team and there is a certain level of excitement that comes with that. Of course you still wish you were out in the field but in the end you learn a lot and make a good friend along the way. The case ends rather succinctly with all five unsubs found and arrested with no more casualties along the way. It’s a good feeling, knowing that you helped to catch the bad guys and no one had to die for you to do so. The day the team is set to return you and Garcia head out for coffee before they show up, figuring that you deserve a little treat after all of your hard work. You make light conversation as you make your way back into the building just in time for the team to arrive. You watch them each make their way to their desks, setting down their bags and taking a moment to rest. Of course the last one to walk in is Hotch who heads straight up to his office, shutting the door behind him.

When you feel like it’s an appropriate time you make your way over to Morgan’s desk. Upon seeing you his lips crack into a wide smile.

“Well hey sweetheart! I have to say, you did awesome work on this case.” As he says this, he extends his hand for a high five which you quickly grant him. “I know it wasn’t easy having to sit out but you did great. I’m proud of you.” It takes everything in you not to blush.

“Thanks. I learned a lot and I made a good friend along the way.”

“Yeah, Garcia’s pretty great isn’t she?” He says with a knowing smile.

“She definitely is. She talks about you a lot, you know.”

“Oh, I know. Baby girl just can’t stop thinking about me. Not that I blame her, of course.” At this you lightly punch his arm.

“You are both such teases.” This makes Morgan laugh.

“We gotta keep things interesting.” He leans forward as though he’s about to start his paperwork but he quickly leans back to look at you. “Hey, now that I’m back we gotta go out for drinks tonight. Everyone else is already game so long as you are.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” You confirm with a grin.

“Great. You know, I’d say I’m buying but I kind of feel like you owe me.” Your brow furrows in confusion.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, I was trying to get some answers for you so I asked Hotch why he wouldn’t let you on the case and he royally chewed me out for it. In his defense I probably shouldn’t have asked in front of the rest of the team but that decision still just doesn’t sit right with me.” Morgan’s words mingle in your head. It doesn’t sit right with you either but it isn’t really your place to question your boss’ orders.

“I’m sorry he got upset with you. I do appreciate you defending me though. You’re my knight in shining denim.”

“Anytime kid. I’m happy to help.” Getting to talk to Morgan has almost instantly lifted your spirits. However, it doesn’t take long for your heart to drop into your stomach.

“Agent L/N. May I speak to you in my office please?” You hadn’t even noticed that Hotch had come out of his office until his voice drew your attention to him. With a quick look at Morgan, who gives you a reassuring glance, you push yourself off his desk and make your way over to where Hotch is standing. Once you’re at his side he extends a hand, allowing you to step inside first. He follows quickly, shutting the door behind him. “Please, have a seat.” He says, gesturing towards a leather couch on the far wall. As you begin to sit on one end he takes up residence on the other, his knee just inches away from yours. Once you’re both settled he focuses all of his attention on you. He doesn’t seem angry but you aren’t holding your breath. It’s best to just stay professional and speak with him earnestly.

“I’m glad to see you all back safely sir.” You begin. After the stress of the case, you want to make sure he knows that as hurt as you were by his previous decision you harbor no ill will towards him.

“Thank you. It’s not very often that cases end as well as this one did. You understand that, don’t you? This was a special circumstance.”

“Yes, I realize that. I’m just grateful that it did end happily even if it was just this once.” There is an intensity in the way he watches you.

“Good. I just want to make sure you fully know what to expect.”

“I do sir. I did the day that I applied for school. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” Staying silent for a moment he nods as if in thought.

“I know before I left I said we would be able to talk. I’d like to learn a little bit more about you and from there I’ll be able to evaluate your abilities before taking you into the field. I know it wasn’t the decision you were hoping for but I hope you understand it nonetheless.”

“Of course. It’s not my place to question you and in the end I learned a lot from Garcia. Plus she was nice to work with.”

“Good. I’m very glad to hear that you were able to make the most of the situation.” He stops for a moment, his gaze relaxing. “I wanted to tell you how well you did on this case. A challenge was presented to you and you handled it with grace. The information you provided was incredibly helpful and your suggestions were very well thought out. I was very impressed.” The softness in his eyes as he praises you leaves a fluttering sensation in your stomach. Throughout the entirety of the case you had been so hell bent on proving yourself to him and hearing him say that you had done well made every hour of hard work worth it. As much as your heart is singing you have to remind yourself to be calm. Even though he is being kind to you now, he had made his feelings known to you during your first meeting. There is no reason to read into things. Clearly he doesn’t feel what you feel.

“Thank you sir. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed when I was left behind but I realized that I’m grateful to be here no matter what. I worked really hard to get here, to be doing this kind of work, and not everyone gets the chance to do what they’re truly meant to be doing. As heartbreaking as the outcome of this job usually is, I can’t imagine myself doing anything else.” With every word the two of you are locked into one another’s eyes. For a moment you can almost swear he is holding his breath.

“I appreciate that sense of purpose. I will always support my team but it makes it easier with members who are invested.”

“I am. Completely. I’m here. I know you haven’t gotten a real chance to see me work but please know that my heart is in this.”

“That was never in question,” Hotch pauses, letting his eyes fall to his lap as he considers his next sentence. “I believe now that I made a rash decision in asking you to stay behind. I can see that you are mentally prepared to be in the field. I apologize for my harsh words. I of course can’t say anything for your physical performance yet but I won’t be able to evaluate the full extent of your abilities until I am able to watch you in the field. On the next case I would like you to join the rest of the team.” A breath of relief leaves your lips.

“Of course. I’m ready to get to work.”

“I know. You’ll have the chance soon enough. In the meantime, if you have any questions or concerns feel free to come speak with me.”

“Thank you sir.” Hotch simply nods in response, beginning to stand. You follow his actions, gathering that he is done with the conversation. As you make your way to the door, feeling much lighter than when you came in, he stops you.

“Agent L/N,” The sound of his voice causes you to turn back. “I just wanted to say again that I’m sorry for not remembering you. I never meant to hurt you. It isn’t that you were forgettable. It’s just that a lot has happened in the last year.” This apology seems much more heartfelt than before and you try to hide a smile.

“I forgive you, sir.” With that you take your leave, making your way right back to Morgan’s desk. The shift in your mood must be palpable because he looks up at you with a smile.

“That’s not the face of someone that just got yelled at by Hotch.”

“No, no he didn’t yell at me. He was just telling me I did a good job and he cleared me to work in the field on the next case.”

“Good for you, kid. I’m glad we’re finally gonna get a chance to see what you can really do,” Nodding you rest against the edge of his desk again. “Now, see? That wasn’t too bad was it?” Looking back towards Hotch’s office you can see him bent over his desk, filling out paperwork. Being able to watch him for a moment without fear of falling apart allows you to crack a small smile.

“No. I guess it wasn’t.”

Tags: @talesfromtheguild @lannister-slings-and-arrows @gryffindorwriter @nopeforyou @sheerfreesia007 @roxypeanut @ohpedromypedro @ssahotchie @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @readsalot73 @the-mechanical-angel @races-erster @maxlordd @pascalisthepunkest @paintballkid711 @hotchafterhours @h0tchner @ssahotchswife @ssahotchhner @technotic-prophecy @klinenovakwinchester @hotch-stufff @annadorothxa @canadailluminate @yoshigguk @gothicxbarbie @romanogersendgame

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cosmicsierra · 3 years

Note

Oh I'd love to see the scenario you have for “I don’t see what anyone can see in anyone else, but you,” anyone else but you by moldy peaches, please?

thank you for the request anon! i was super excited to write this! here is some tech fluff :) only warnings are a club scene that includes light discussion of a lap dance. I hope you enjoy <3

prompts from songs that remind me of tech

Tech was a soldier. A soldier loyal to the Republic, created with an exceptional mind by the Kaminoans to be the brains of a team that worked together. He spent his time in his youth training to become more efficient and researching subjects all over the holonet on a datapad given to him by the Kaminoans, not to mention the research being done on him. Not only did he face strict testing and orders from the Kaminoans, but also throughout the Clone War.

In every part of his life, he has never been inclined to truly love anyone in a romantic way. He held love for his brothers, even when they teased him relentlessly and embarrassed him in public. Even more so, the clones encouraged him to partake in activities with various people spotted in bars. Wrecker even went as far as buying him a dance from a female Twi’lek who most clones longed after. Reminiscing on the memory, Tech cringed in real time. The Twi’lek sauntered over to him. Heads of clones turned his way, jealousy in the eyes of most. Not quite aware of what was happening until she took a seat on his lap, his eyes flicked to Hunter, Echo, and Crosshair confusingly, before finally settling on a laughing Wrecker.

The Twi’Lek grabbed his chin, tilting it up to look at her. He quietly informed her that he was not interested in partaking in such an act, and instead directed her toward Wrecker. She smiled, seeming to understand and accept the fact, and stood up to walk to Wrecker.

Hunter leaned over to him, “You refused an offer like that?” He spoke quietly under the music.

Tech shrugged, “I didn’t see anything in her.” His hands settled on his datapad. He intended to research why so many men lusted after female Twi’leks. Hunter sighed.

Tech flinched thinking of the memory, deciding instead to dwell on a more preferable memory. The first time he met you.

He wandered around the streets of Coruscant and searched for the library that the regs had told him about. Regrettably lost without his datapad, he relied on the spoken word to help him find the library of Coruscant. He longed to just go to the Jedi archives, however, clones were only permitted in certain areas of the temple and the archives were not one of those areas.

So, here he was, on a wild bantha chase in search of a place he began to think didn’t exist. As he was about to abandon the haste of the research about the planet the batch was on the way to next, he spotted the library. Matching the durasteel architecture of Coruscant, the library stood tall and mature. The building was nearly all glass and durasteel. Feeling a bit more inspiration, he picked up his pace toward the looming building.

While walking, his mind raced with just how much information could fit in that library. Although it was in no comparison to the holonet, it had been some time since he was able to enter a library, and he was eager at the thought.

The doors opened, revealing to Tech a large collection of books, holopad recordings, and so much more. The library was stories high and each floor was shaped similar to a square, with an empty section in the middle of each floor to look out at all of the other sections above and below.

As his eyes took everything the vast library had to offer beneath his helmet, he failed to notice the person approaching from behind.

“Hi there,” you waved politely, “is there anything specific you’re looking for today?” You held one arm with the other nervously.

Tech did not notice the introduction, instead still marveling in the wonder that is physical knowledge. Then, he felt a tap on his armor that nearly made him reach for his blaster. He whipped around only to be confronted by you.

If he hadn’t been rendered speechless by the stunning building, now he was a wreck. He watched as you scratched the back of your head, laughing softly, “Sorry, I really didn’t intend to scare you.”

He gazed at you, feeling a warmth in his stomach that he hadn’t personally felt before, but had studied after Wrecker said it was how the Twi’lek made him feel.

“Are you okay there buddy?” You asked, genuinely seeming concerned at this point. Your arms reached toward him, as he likely looked like he was about to faint.

“My apologies. When individuals find someone attractive, they often develop a strange phenomenon of ‘butterflies in the stomach’,” He watches as your eyes widen, showing interest, and continues, “This is a case of nerves or thoughts and feelings, which in turn end up compromising maximum performance. Evidently, as you just observed at the expense of my dignity.” Tech explained and laughed, then waited for your reaction. The feeling had not eased up any.

He watched you as your mind grinded gears. You crossed your arms and leaned to one side, “Are you saying you find me attractive? We’ve only just met!” You talked in hushed tones, chuckling a bit. “Anyways… what brings you here? I’ve never seen a clone in here.”

Tech smiled to himself under his helmet. “It appears that in a careless manner I have broken my datapad for the time being. I need to do some research on the planet my squad is heading to tomorrow.” The feeling in his stomach never left as you explained to him how to find information about planets and systems. Even when focused on the planet after you had left him to his own business, he felt as if he wanted to talk to you more.

He made sure to say farewell before leaving, although he returned to the library as soon as the batch came back from their mission a week later. His brothers had never seen him in such a hurry. Of course, by then, his datapad was fixed. That really left his brothers confused.

As Tech ran from the landing platform toward the streets of Coruscant, Echo called out to him, “Tech! You forgot your datapad!” He held it up in the air.

Hunter and Crosshair eyed the datapad suspiciously. That thing literally never leaves Tech’s side, where was he going without it? They shared a quizzical look with Echo. Soon, their attention was turned to Tech, who was already far, yelling back, “I won’t need it! Keep it safe!” He waved over his shoulder and continued in a run.

Before the end of the war as it raged on, Tech would wander to your Coruscant apartment or the library (wherever you were for the time of day or night), and you two would spend hours together. One night in particular, you asked him a question that he couldn’t answer.

Legs intertwined, your head on his shoulder and his arm cradling your head, Tech sighed contently. You looked up to him and asked what the long sigh was about. He dismissed your concern, telling you that he was at ease and relaxed.

“When the war is over, will you come to me?” Your question was sudden. The sound of your voice split through the room. It sounded small, nervous, and apprehensive. Tech had never considered the end of the war and what it meant for you two. Your relationship hadn’t been particularly closed off, but neither of you felt compelled to be with anyone else. The confirmation of an exclusive relationship was just never discussed.

He looked down to you and ran his hand through your hair. “I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else, but you. Of course I’ll come to you. I’ll be here.” He planted a kiss on your forehead and hugged you to his body tightly.

masterlist

taglist: @incandescentlywarm @morgonjinn

#star wars tech #tech #tech x reader #bad batch x reader #bad batch tech #star wars bad batch #bad batch #star wars clone wars #star wars men #fanfic #x reader #tech tuesday

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yniswaifu · 3 years

Text

1. Suna

You exit the booming nightclub through the emergency exit, wanting to escape the loud music. Nothing about it was YOU. And yet, here you are.

You see a tall shadow already occupying the other side of the wall, their shoulders hunched as if they were hiding their activity from the outside world. But well, what did you know. Everyone has stories – just like you did when you decided to take up your friend's advice for a 'good distraction'.

What's so good about it? You think as you close the door behind you, the music fading in the background.

After you're out in the open you see the person. It was a man. A very, very pretty man.

His eyes were downcast on the phone in his hand. The hair reflected the neon lights above his head, and the outfit – a hoodie and some sweats from what you could see in the dark alley if you squint made him look broad. From what you could make out in that split second checkout session, he had a great side profile.

He could have been a good eye candy were you not in a sour mood.

But not today handsome.

Sighing, you turn away. You were regretting everything. And the nightclub trip wasn't at the top of the list. You shuffle inside your jacket pocket, to reveal a pack of cigarettes. Again nothing about it was you. Then why were you doing it? Because it's a 'good distraction'.

"smoking is bad." you were in the middle of lighting the white tobacco stick when the voice spoke to you.

You stop midway, slowly lifting your eyes to see the possible eye candy looking at you with a blank face. His eyes were slanted, almost fox like. Heck, he almost resembled a fox. But boy was he attractive. And popular.

You weren't unfamiliar with sports. In fact, you quite enjoyed watching sports as a pass time. So this man, who was telling about smoking, Suna Rintaro himself, was no stranger to you.

But you weren't in a mood to either ask for an autograph or talk to anyone. If you were, you wouldn't have left your friend behind in the club to come here. So you certainly weren't going to talk to him.

Suna kept looking at you, expecting a reply perhaps. But what you did even shook you to the core.

You looked right in his eyes and took a smoke.

Of course, the plan backfired.

A rough round of cough threatened to leave your lips and you immediately turn to the other side, trying to be discreet about the failed mission. You were expecting him to laugh, or scoff, something remotely snarky, but there was no sound. Curious, you slowly turn back, peeping at Suna from under your lashes to see him look at you with...confusion?

"what is it?" you ask him, your voice barely audible.

Shaking his head, the six feet something fully turned towards your direction and stood straight, with his hands crossed.

"do you seriously have so much tragedy in your life that you'll resort to" he directs his head towards to the cigarette, "this?"

You looked at him baffled. Was this guy always this nice? As far as you remembered him, he always has a poker face. He didn't talk much during interviews either. But he was a great player, and the crowd cheered like crazy whenever he would block those super strong spikes. So what's with this extempore counselling session?

Laughter bubbled out of you, looking at the situation. Here you are, standing in the back alley of some nightclub, talking about life with a famous sportsman.

Suna waited for you to finish laughing. If anything, he kinda felt glad you laughed. Because the moment he saw you, and your eyes, he couldn't grasp the fact that someone could have such sorrow in them. He didn't even have to go under proper lighting to know that you were here to distract yourself. Including the pack of cigarettes you took out of your pocket. Suna was a sportsman, and health was something he always had to take care of. So he couldn't stand seeing someone else try to ruin their health just for some temporary relief. It was so not worth it.

You slump against the wall, your laughter dying down. He was right. You couldn't deny that. These things will only give you temporary satisfaction.

"I'm sorry." you say, smiling because you're suddenly high on adrenaline and pumped for this heart-to-heart. You don't know why, but you felt you could just go bare in front of this man. And he wouldn't say a thing. Moreover, you didn't have anything better to do. And it seemed like Suna didn't either because he too leaned against the wall, making himself comfortable.

"that's fine. I'm sorry too. Didn't mean to be so rude and abrupt." he says.

And he's polite, you think.

"nah. It's fine. By the way, I don't smoke."

"that I can see. So? Why did you do it?"

You look at Suna for a minute before looking to the front. "boy problems."

Before he could even say anything, you start laughing again. Adrenaline or not, you definitely seemed high on something.

"can you imagine? I'm resorting to these methods because some stupid person decided to dump me." you continue, your voice bitter.

Suna was silent. You turn to see him looking at you with an emotion you couldn't quite understand. He was frowning, but he didn't look mad or anything.

"why are you looking at me like that?" you ask him, a little flustered because come on, it was Suna Rintaro and he is staring at you so intensely.

"I don't understand..."

You tilt your head at this statement, confused. You expected him to roll his eyes and leave, which you didn't want, but he had better things to do than listen to you talk about this.

At least that's what you thought before his reaction.

"was it your fault that he broke up with you?" he asks after some time.

Was it? You don't remember. You always did everything, even went out of your way to make your partner happy. You sacrificed so much. Then why? Why did he break up with you and didn't even say the reason? What were you missing? Why couldn't you make him happy?

So many questions, and to think the break up happened over text. You hadn't even gotten a chance to resolve this because all you can think about is — distracting yourself from the issue will somehow make everything better.

Suddenly the vibe surrounding you both dropped certain degrees. The question that Suna hit you with brought the memories and words back like a big wave, and suddenly you felt like you were drowning. It was suffocating, overwhelming, and your hands shook beside you. But you didn't move. The therapist you consulted, in other words Google, had advised you to take deep breaths when you are hyperventilating. So you did just that.

You hadn't realized that during your moment, Suna had already come by your side, rubbing your back in a soothing motion, whispering words that you didn't quite catch. But it was something between 'breathe' and 'it's fine'. It's like your ears were blocking his voice and everything else.

Slowly, you return to your senses. It was so embarrassing, but you were grateful Suna caught you before you fell deeper.

"thank you" you tell him, moving his hand away.

Suna backs up the moment you stand straight, his hands beside him. "no problem. I'm sorry for asking it."

You sigh. "it's not your fault. I just...I'm sorry for this. You shouldn't see me like this."

"you couldn't help it. It's okay. We don't have to talk about it."

You don't reply immediately. After a few deep breaths, you calm down, then look at Suna. His expression neutral, with hints of worry. "it's not something I did. Or...maybe I did." you decide to answer his question. "I...I don't know. It's just, I thought I could forget it. But you know what they say, first love isn't easy to forget."

Suna just nods in understanding. "I guess it isn't."

Both of you fall into silence. Suna observes that you need to calm down, and he felt he shouldn't pry more. First of all, the words he had spoken were something no one tells a stranger. And Suna wasn't the type to do it at all. In fact, this whole encounter was surreal to him. All he wanted was to call home but the restaurant across the street was filled with Bokuto's loud ass and he wanted some peace and quiet to talk. So he came here, in the quite place and then you exited the club. The rest is history.

"so..." he starts off, unsure what to say.

"so, I hope you have a goodnight Suna." you reply, smiling at him. This was enough for the prompt therapy session.

Suna's eyes widen for a moment before they go back to normal. He had almost forgotten he was a national player and that people will recognize him. He returns your smile and you were dazed by that smile. Well I'll be darned, is what went in your head.

Shaking off the thoughts, you wave at him before turning to return to the club and inform your friend that you want to go home. You were never a party person and you certainly ain't gonna change now.

That's when Suna interrupts you and goes, "do you...maybe wanna exchange numbers?"

What compelled him to do that? Even he himself didn't know. He asked for your number before even asking your name. He asked for your number when all he did was help you from passing out because he triggered bad memories.

But he wouldn't want to take back this moment. In this moment, your vulnerability resonated through him. It's not he's had first love or any serious relationship, but seeing you like this, made him curious and cautious. Do people really spiral down when they lose what they hold on to tightly? Do expectations hurt this much? Because he wouldn't know. He never expects much from anyone.

Perhaps it was some repressed saviour complex inside him, or the fact that you looked beautiful even when you were breathless. Or that when he held you up, he didn't feel like letting you go and was disappointed when you moved him away. He just felt a certain attraction towards you. It didn't hurt to act upon that feeling right?

You stop in your tracks. The gears in your brain turn, and you went into a deep thought. Finally, you look at the hopeful guy in front of you.

"sorry Suna. I really appreciate you talking to me, but I can't do this. I'm still not over him." you say, your voice solemn.

A flicker of disappointment passes his eyes, you notice. You felt bad for doing this. But you had to. Because from what you saw tonight, Suna didn't deserve someone like you. He was a great guy, who should go for a great girl.

That's why you had to do this. But you also wanted to be clear about how you reciprocated the attraction. The timing is wrong. So you walk up to him, and place your hands on his cheeks. "I need to get over him before I come to you. Because you are more than just a random stranger at this point. I mean, you saw me at my worst and it's not even been an hour since I met you. And if we start this, we do it the right way. So I can't just brush you off just like that. That's why I'm asking you – will you wait for me?"

Your words were sincere, but does Suna believe that? Not really. For him, it was a clear no. In a nice way.

Nodding, he looks away, probably regretting this with every bone in his body. But your words still held onto him like an anchor. How long did he have to wait for you? His whole life? Surely you didn't expect him to do that. So you thought of a better way to reject him. And guess what, it worked.

"right. Have a goodnight then." he says and walks off hurriedly. You watch his figure disappear off the corner, and you close your eyes shut to assure yourself.

This was for the best.

***

Suna waited.

He said he wouldn't, he said he will do everything in order to forget about you. But he waited. Somewhere in him he hoped you actually asked him to wait, and that you were going to come to him, with a smile reserved only for him. That you would go lengths for him and that he will replace the first love you had.

So he waited. He was glad he did.

Because there you were, standing in front of him. Your face looked better, healthier, and you were smiling. Your eyes that once held sorrow and pain was looking content in this very moment.

He walked up to you, his breath visible in the cold winter evening. It had been almost six months when he last saw you. He never expected to see you standing outside his apartment complex when he was going to the convenient store to get groceries. And you had changed so much in that time. Beautiful nonetheless.

As soon as he was close enough to see your orbs soaking in his figure, Suna slowly exhales. "how did you know where I live?"

You laugh at his question. Well, he ain't wrong. You did pop out of nowhere.

"I have my ways." you say, a sly smirk forming on your lips.

Gosh, how much you had changed. You're even making jokes now.

"I asked my friend. She works for the paparazzi." you answer truthfully after some time.

Suna's eyes widen. "dang. Then I better stay away. Who knows where you are hiding your friend now." he jokes, looking around.

You giggle at his words when you see him looking at you with a soft expression. You know what he was thinking, but chose not to say anything. You stepped closer to him, your fingertips almost brushing with his. Your breaths mixed together as you continued to stare at each other.

Suddenly Suna's eyes flash with worry. "are you sure you're over him?"

You knew he'd be worried. You wanted to make sure you finish everything you held onto before moving forward. So you went back, and talked it out with your ex. Truth was, both of you had fallen out of love. But you realize that much later. And when you did, you felt terrible to push away the only guy you saw a potential future with. So you got to work. You fixed your life, fixed your relationships, and fixed your head space. When you felt yes this is it, you asked your friend for Suna's address. Of course, she was curious at first. But when you answered that you like him, without any explanation to be exact, the friend didn't even bother asking for details. She knew how much the previous relationship hurt you, and seeing you moving on was enough reason to give you Suna's address.

"yes. I have no lingering feelings left. I never did actually. But I knew I had to fix myself before I move forward. So that's what I did. And here I am." You shrug.

The man in front of sighs in relief. Suddenly, he rests his forehead on your shoulders, fingers intertwined with yours. "took you long enough." his voice but a loving whisper.

You tighten the grip on his fingers, his cold hands in your warm ones. "but you waited."

A smile forms on his lips. "but I waited."

I'm going through an Inarizaki phase guys. Please bear with me. Also, can you tell I have a special place for Suna in my heart? Because I do. I felt Suna needed a serious scenario, one where he's actually mature and don't just look bored with life. I mean, grown up Suna would definitely be more in touch with his emotions. Yeah. So I did that. It's a bit on the sad side, but the ending is happy enough I guess? I'm sorry if you didn't feel like it. I tried.

#haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #suna imagines #suna x reader

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hikarus-shida · 3 years

Text

Eddie Kingston: "Changing Your View"

Eddie Kingston x fem!reader

genre: nsfw 18+, kind of angsty in the beginning and middle

warnings: nsfw 18+, sexual intercourse (unprotected), oral (f), foul language

summary: reader is a friend of eddie and jon. she wants more from eddie, but he only sees her as a little sister. when eddie starts flirting with other women, the reader gives up and tries to move on.

requested by: anon (hope you enjoy!)

tag list: @cutierocker202 @bec0m @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @elitehunter @drewmcintyrekoccsrocbwdgfan

This is an 18+ imagine. If you're not 18+, please read at your own discretion if you don’t intend on leaving this post. You’ve been warned. :)

I hope you all enjoy! This really took me a couple hours to write, on and off. The end feels super wonky, but I really enjoyed writing it nonetheless. I really wanna do more angsty things!

imagines masterlist

*i do not own this gif!*

“He’s doing it again, Jon.” You complained, as the two of you watched Eddie pursue yet another woman that has walked by. Seeing Eddie flirt with women made you sick. You were standing in front of him this whole time and he never bothered to give you the time of day, all because you were like a “sister” to him. It felt like incredulous bullshit to you though.

“Listen Y/N, you gonna sit around and complain or are you gonna do something about it?” Jon always gave you tough love, sure he had great advice and was more than willing to always give it to you, but god did you talk his ear off about Eddie. He was the only one you trusted enough to tell about your crush and Jon told you the most logical thing to do was to tell Eddie, but you didn’t want to do that. Of course yet again, this was a problem only you could motivate yourself to solve.

“Yeah, I will do something about it,” You stood up from your seat and looking at Eddie once more before looking back at Jon, “Tell him not to talk to me, I’m over his shit.” You walked away, not looking back and missing the eye-roll that Jon directed towards you. You and Eddie were always putting him in the middle of shit, it was a mystery how he still hung out with the two of you.

It was hours now that you hadn’t talked to Eddie and you were better for it, the peace and quiet without him was astonishingly great, but you missed the constant chaos that he contributed to in your life. Jon kept texting you to stop being an idiot, but you just wanted some time to be overly dramatic about your love life and unrequited crushes.

You walked out of the women’s locker room, just to walk back in when you saw Eddie. “Yo! Y/N! Get the fuck outta’ there.” You heard his voice, unreasonably loud as it was. You tried your best to act like you hadn’t heard him, and luckily enough for you, the rest of the women’s roster wasn’t in here which saved you the embarrassment. “Y/N, I’m not afraid of walking in and seeing in a bunch of women.” You rolled your eyes and called his bluff, Eddie was too respectful to just mosey in here like nothing.

“Alright, I am afraid to walk in, but you gotta come out here and talk to me.” He said, outside of the door and his voice getting softer compelled the hell out of you, which made you mad at yourself for falling for it and him all over again. You walked over to the locker room door and opened it, now face to face with Eddie. “What do you want?” Your voice was monotone, refusing to inflect any excitement or happiness. The last thing you needed Eddie to believe was that he was in your good graces when he actually wasn’t.

“What’s up with you, lil’ sis?” You rolled your eyes and refused to meet his gaze. That’s what was up with you, that right there. The “lil’ sis” shit. The anger in you was running through your veins, you were a grown woman and he needed to see that, you needed him to see that you wanted him. “That’s my problem. I’m not your little sister, Eddie. I’m a grown ass woman! And it bothers the hell out of me that you can’t see that I’m completely in love with you like the fool that I am. You run around chasing after all these women that don’t love you like I do and you can’t even see me standing here. It’s fucked up.” You snapped, your once monotone voice filling with emotional rage.

Eddie tried to reach for you, but you moved away from his touch. The look on his face hurt you, it was for the best though. Eddie needed to know that this has been bothering you for the longest time; what he chose to do with that information was up to him. And what he did shocked you. Eddie grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into a kiss. You were so mad at him, but you wanted him so bad. The kiss was gentle at first, but once you kissed back, it had gotten messy and it was as if you two were fighting each other with your lips, trying to get one up on the other. Eddie bit your lip gently, tugging at it as he pushed you against the women’s locker room door and shut it behind you two. He pulled away from the kiss, quickly locking the door before turning back to look at you. “This is what you wanted this whole time? You wanted me? Well, I’ll give you what you want.”

Eddie surprised you some more when he began to strip right in front of you. He was once clad in his usual jersey and light-washed jeans, but now he was fully naked and he was truly hung. You licked your lips and refused to rub your eyes to reassure yourself that this was real life, and not a dream. “You just gonna look at me or are you gonna take your clothes off too?” You rolled your eyes at his comment and began to take off your clothes, starting with your top and ending with your sneakers. Eddie took a good look at you as his hand slid down to his cock, slightly jerking his member as he bit his lip. He walked over to you and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close as he looked into your eyes. “I know we have to make this quick, but I want to take my time and show you how much you really mean to me.”

Eddie laid you onto the ground, gently, while hovering over you. He slid himself down so he could face your pussy, rubbing his fingers up and down your folds before his tongue joined. His fingers inserted in and out of your hole as his tongue circled around your clit while you let out quiet moans. “Oh, Eddie.” You moaned out, your hands grabbing at the ground. Eddie continued to eat you out and now that he knew what set you off, his tongue sucked on your clit as his fingers began to pump in and out of you quickly. Your legs twitched as you felt your release, crying out Eddie’s name while he licked up your juices.

You felt the sweat building up at your temples and on your back, watching Eddie get up on his knees. His cock was slick with his pre-cum and all you could think about was how he tasted. You wouldn’t find today you assumed since Eddie lined himself at your entrance. The two of you moaned when his tip slid in you and you gripped onto his arms, leaning your head back against the floor as your back arched.

Eddie’s cock pumped in and out of you, sweat beading at his forehead. “Y/N, you’re so good. You feel so good,” His hands gripped onto your waist as stroked deeper in you. Eddie’s movements were gentle yet hard and he didn’t want to hurt you, but he wanted to make sure that he brought you to your edge again. And you were close once again because of his voice, praise, and words that he would say to you. One in particular shocked you the most as he grabbed one of your hands and interlocked them, “I love you, Y/N.”

“Eddie, I love you too.” You moaned out, his body getting closer to yours as he continued to thrust. The two of you continued to let out moans and groans as the both of you were close to releasing. Eddie’s thrust began to get even slower and sloppier, you knew he was close. He gave it all he got and his tip continued to your spot over and over again, making you cry out as you released onto his cock, Eddie soon following and pulling out of you. His load dropped onto the floor which made you quickly grab the nearest wipe to clean it up.

Eddie stood up and made sure to help you up, bringing you into a hug, not caring that the two of you were still in the nude. His hands wrapped around your back and rubbed it as he pulled you in for one more kiss. “I’m sorry for making you feel that way and not seeing how you felt about me sooner. I meant it when I said I love you.” Eddie said once he pulled away, still holding onto you while you settled into his touch and cuddled into him.

“I love you too, Eddie.” He smiled slightly, rubbing a hand behind your head as he pressed a kiss against your forehead. The two of you began to get dressed, interlocking your fingers when you were ready to leave the locker room together.

You didn’t know what was next for you and Eddie after this, but at least he changed his view and saw you for what you really were: not as his “lil’ sis”, but as someone who was in love with him and that he loved back with the same amount of passion.

#eddie kingston #eddie kingston aew #eddie kingston imagine #eddie kingston headcanon #eddie kingston drabble #aew #aew imagine

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charlthotte · 4 years

Text

Breaking Through the Iron Wall - Aone Takanobu x Reader

Chapter 16

It must have been approximately three hours before we arrived back at school, in the early noon, with almost everyone staying slumbering the entire time - their gentle - and not so gentle snores ringing through the air. While I saved the page I was reading, Coach Oiwake instructed me to wake the rest of the team up.

One by one, I went around the team, waking them - some much easier than others. That was, until I came to rouse Futakuchi, who had no desire to depart from his dreams, sleeping as still as a log. Several shakes of his shoulders later, he still hadn't arisen from his drowse, no matter how hard I shook. Until, Kamasaki, the idiosyncratic schemer with his water bottle in hand, unscrewing its lid, ready to ensue utter chaos. And with a squeeze of the container, the liquid had sprung itself into Futakuchi's face, its coldness stirring him immediately, but unlike the rest, he quickly entered an unbridled rage directed straight at the conniver, Kamasaki.

Subsequently, with a new burst of vigour - Futakuchi leapt from his seat, bounding after his attacker, spitting a slew of obscenities from between his lips. Waving his arms around in unadulterated fury, he relentlessly chased Kamasaki around the car park, screaming that he would get his revenge in due time - causing a whole bucket of catastrophe. Without wasting any time, Takanobu and Coach Oiwake swiftly bounded out from the coach, rearing to hinder the fight between the two feral children.

It took nothing more than a slight interference from Takanobu, a stern glance - for the two opposing teens to immediately put a halt to their skirmish, sheepishly apologising to each other, even if that was only for show.

With a defeated sigh, Coach Oiwake beckoned the rest of us out of the coach, gesturing for us to listen to what he had to say, "So, I know that you're all exhausted and you've all worked incredibly hard today - and there isn't much time left of the school day anyway, so it'd be pointless if you went back into lessons now. Therefore, I will be giving you all the permission to head home slightly earlier today. You're all dismissed, I'll see you tomorrow." Then, he bid us farewell, waving us away with an unenthusiastic gesture.

And with that, each one of us grabbed our bags and jackets, eagerly heading out of the school gates, but still being absolutely enervated. However, that meant that the usual train that Takanobu and I would catch wouldn't be coming for quite some time to come - so we would have to loiter around somewhere until that time came.

After waving goodbye to the rest of the team, Takanobu and I began strolling slowly towards the train station, but since we had time to kill, we turned and passed down different streets, until we came across a dainty, sweet, little café - its outside adorned by trellises; bound by tresses of white wisteria. The entire aura of it was truly welcoming and mellow, practically ushering us inside its doors.

"Hey, Takanobu - do you want to get something to drink?" I asked him, feeling somehow uplifted from the scenery around me.

From the way he responded, I could feel the exhaustion exuding from him - his eyes drooping gracefully while he sedately nodded his head, apparently too tired to entertain a conversation.

As soon as I walked through the doors the delightful aroma of pastries and beautiful beverages floated towards me, swimming through the air. I took a deep breath, savouring the delicious fragrance, before I ordered drinks for both Takanobu and myself - but before I could get my wallet out to pay for what I was purchasing - beside me, Takanobu delved into his bag at the speed of light in an attempt to get to his wallet, too. I gave him a glance to cast my disapproval, firmly placing my own upon the counter to pay. "How about we call this a reward for playing super well?" I chuckled, tilting my head to the side.

Takanobu sighed, seemingly defeated, nodding before sinking into the collar of his jacket. It genuinely looked like he would fall to sleep at any given second.

In a small matter of minutes, our drinks were ready - but rather than stay inside, we both made the unconscious decision to sit on one of the tables outside. After all, the sun was shining radiantly, along with the wisteria adorned trellises compelled me there, as if its aura gave me a sense of belonging.

"(Y/N)?"

My eyes flicked away from my drink, landing upon his face, "Yes, what is it, Takanobu?"

He pointed to the abundances of wisteria around us, his eyes filled with adoration as he scanned the scene, "What do they mean?"

Giggling at him softly, I answered his question - but, before I did so - a warm pang palpitated inside me. Was it my stomach? My heart? I couldn't tell. "Like most things, wisteria can have more than one meaning. First, it can symbolise the longevity and figurative immortality of life, illustrious beauty and absolute infatuation." Suddenly I halted my explanation, hesitating when I spoke those last two words, for some reason unbeknownst to me.

'Absolute infatuation'

Sensing that I had zoned out, I quickly carried on with my diatribe, "But, every part of the wisteria is poisonous, toxic, deadly even. Especially since it is a rapidly growing plant. Now, I'm not completely sure about this, but I'm quite positive that that gives the wisteria its other meaning - warning profusely about how dangerous 'absolute infatuation' is - and how quickly it can grow, and eventually, take over everything you once were. After all, unfiltered, unbridled love... it's terrifying." I looked down at the floor, slightly embarrassed by the subject at hand.

Faintly, I could hear a soft chuckle from Takanobu's side of the table. That was until, he said something, something so quiet that even I struggled to hear him. Two words that purely shook me to my core. It may have simply just been me overreacting, but alas - I believe it was called for.

"You're amazing."

In an instant, my eyes gaze shot straight up to meet his. My eyes widened and my mouth parted slightly, hanging agape in revelation. I wanted desperately to reply to him, but at the time, I was incapable of forming coherent dialogue. Wringing my hands together, I laughed awkwardly, trying desperately to form a reply.

After taking several shallow breaths of reassurance, I made my best attempt at speaking, despite my mind had gone into complete overdrive, "Thank you, Takanobu... You're rather amazing, too."

My heart thrummed at a pace so terrifyingly loud that I worried that everyone within a kilometre radius could hear it. I felt stupendously awkward after that, with my gaze darting from place to place, searching for something to distract my mind from the inner turmoil I was experiencing.

After shifting my line of sight many times, the only thing I was drawn to was Takanobu's face. It was like I was magnetised towards it. Unequivocally compelled towards him.

Our eyes met each other, and in that instant that they did, everything froze, everything fell silent, the world stopped turning. In those few seconds, no one existed but us.

And even though, every thought in my head told me to turn away - I was frozen too, our gazes seemed to be permanently latched to one another, neither one of us wanting to break away first.

However, after a small eternity of making unrelenting eye contact, I was the first to break away, staring straight down at my beverage until I had finished every single last drop of it.

Neither of us spoke until we were walking back to the train station, following a road that I had never come across before. But, the complete opposite could be said for Takanobu - as he abruptly tensed up and stopped moving entirely when we passed one house in-particular. Its garden and exterior were completely barren, devoid of any wisp of joyousness - every inch of the walls covered in a dull, draining grey. There was no light or life exuding from the inside of the house at all. Its overall lack of spirit made it seem like someone had abandoned it, many eons ago.

Noticing how visually distressed Takanobu was, I finally broke the silence, "Hey, what's the matter?" I asked.

Before he replied, he swiftly moved further ahead until that house was out of his line of sight, "Nothing, it's just a place from my childhood." He whispered, careful to make as little noise as possible.

"Are you sure you're alright?" I questioned, growing increasingly concerned about the way Takanobu was acting.

"Yeah." He hesitated for a beat, "Could we please go to the train station now?" His eyes shining with an immense tone of pleading.

"Oh... Of course." I said, leading Takanobu away from the house that seemed to be haunting him.

It took significantly less time than usual to arrive at the station, as Takanobu was walking at a much speedier than what he normally did. Which, ending up being quite a fortunate thing, as we only got onto the train with as much time as a blink of an eye able to pass, before it would have set off without us.

However, nearly straight after we sat down, Takanobu's head began to loll downwards - snapping it back up if it ever drooped too low. Eventually, he leant against the window beside him, his eyes fluttering open and closed - his entire face relaxing as he began to fight a losing battle between him and the valiant forces of slumber.

While he drifted off to sleep, I couldn't help but admire the view in front of me. The way the Sun hit his face in the most perfect manner, the way his chest slowly rose and fell with each inhale and exhale. Something about it was just so ethereal, and even though my conscience told me to look away, I couldn't divert my line of sight. Once again, my eyes were frozen in place.

Just before the train arrived at my stop, I gingerly took Takanobu's shoulder in my hand, rousing him softly, waking him from his slumber - and as he rose from the depths of his dreams, his eyelashes fluttered delicately across his face, fanning perfectly over his cheeks. But, as I got up to leave the train, so did he - not realising that he wasn’t yet at his destination. He must have have been confused, nothing more.

As soon as we departed from the carriage, Takanobu immediately began conversing with me, "(Y/N), would you mind if you came to see Shiro with me?" He gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down in some sort of trepidation. "I don't think I could do it alone."

I wasted no time with replying to him, "I wouldn't mind that at all, not one bit." I said, looking into his eyes, noticing something, some kind of aura shrouding him - one that I had never seen before - and much to my chagrin, I couldn't determine exactly what it was. Was it fear? Anxiety? Or perhaps something completely different?

Looking down at the pavement as I walked back to Takanobu's house, I could not hinder a peculiar feeling in the pit of my stomach, making it churn and flip around inside of me. And once again, I was questioning all that I knew. Putting all those queries to one side, I tried to coerce myself into believing that it was only a worrisome feeling for the sake of Shiro's health. But, deep down - I somehow knew that that wasn't true at all, I was only masking what thing was truly there - as a voice inside me, told me I wouldn't be able to handle the magnitude of the way I really felt.

Even by the time we had arrived at his house, I hadn't once let my vision deter from the path I was walking, it was almost as if I couldn't bare to look Takanobu straight in his eyes while he would look back into mine, in fear of something unknown.

While Takanobu opened the door to his house, the unease exuding from him was truly insurmountable, so much so, that anyone in the prefecture could feel it.

And that was completely understandable.

He didn't come running, nor did he walk over.

It was almost as if he didn't exist anymore.

Instead, he laid on the sofa, a morsel of what he was before - bones protruding under his skin, his fur thinned and brittle, his eyes no longer holding the spark of life that had been there before.

Shiro was merely a husk now.

Beside me, Takanobu's legs wobbled at the sight set before him - almost dropping to his knees in disbelief.

Immediately, he ran to Shiro's side, seemingly forgetting his exhausted state - stroking the dog's back feebly, his hands quivering as he did so - careful not to disturb his friend before him.

Ejiri must have noticed the sound of the door unlocking, quickly bounding down the stairs to greet us - wearing an expression showing both happiness and sorrow. Without wasting a second, she hurried towards the cowering form of her nephew, wrapping her arms around him with much vigour - truly ecstatic to see him again. Takanobu sunk into her arms, even though, he stood a whole head higher than her - resting his head upon her shoulder, beginning to silently sob into her, his breath hitching and releasing at an unkempt rhythm.

"Don't cry, honey... He's here now and that's all that matters in this moment." Ejiri spoke, patting her nephew's back in an effort to calm him down, "I'm here for you, darling... I always will be." She smiled serenely, "I travelled halfway across the world for you, I dropped everything I had for you - but, I'd do it again infinitely. I will never let you feel isolated again. So, know that I will always be there - no matter the time, no matter the place, no matter what." She reached up and ruffled Takanobu's hair, guiding him towards the sofa where Shiro laid. Then, she turned to me - her arms outstretched, carrying a grateful grin on her face, "And you, my dear - I can't express my gratitude for you enough. You have helped my boy greatly, especially in these not so nice times." After briskly patting my arm, she popped up from the sofa, heading towards the kitchen.

Looking over to the sofa, I saw a sight so beautiful, yet heart breaking - seeing the dreary eyes of Shiro droop in a daze, seeing the immense hurt burning behind Takanobu's eyes. I made way over to them, kneeling on the sofa next to the sick animal, stroking his back, careful not to cause him any pain.

As Ejiri came back into the room, a steaming mug in hand - Takanobu lifted his gaze away from Shiro, "How long?" He uttered, his eyes beginning to prick with a single tear.

She sighed, preparing herself for the news she was about to deliver, "Three days at best." She whispered, furrowing her brows, "I'm sorry."

Takanobu's arms dropped suddenly, in shock - bringing one of them up to cover his mouth, he whimpered, squinting his tears away. His body began trembling, shaking along with his lamentation, his breaths becoming laboured. In that moment, there was something in his eyes, a heart wrenching realisation that what was to come was absolutely inevitable. His face froze in place as tears continued to cascade down his cheeks.

Feeling his sorrow alongside him, I rushed over to his side by pure instinct - comfortingly caressing his back, while leaning my head on his shoulder. The sheer amount of pain he was feeling genuinely hurt me, too.

Takanobu took in an unsteady breath, "(Y/N), will you be there... When it happens?" He spluttered.

I twisted my head upon his shoulder, now facing his tortured expression, "Of course I will."

He smiled slightly, trying to hide the pain - wrapping one of his arms around my shoulder, rubbing into it gently with the pad of his thumb. We stayed like that for a while, enjoying each other's company while we could - Takanobu never letting Shiro leave his sight for a single second, as if he thought if he looked away - he'd disappear.

Eventually, enough time had passed, so that Takanobu's exhaustion had caught up with him. So, I shimmied from underneath his arm, slowly manoeuvring him so he leant upon the sofa, his head resting next to Shiro.

Not wanting to impose upon their household any longer, I grabbed my belongings, heading towards the door. But before I did, Ejiri came shuffling towards me, signalling for me not to depart just yet. "One minute, (Y/N)! I wanted to give you Takanobu and I's phone numbers before you go." She paused, handing me a slip of paper with two numbers on it, "For when the time comes."

I took the note, thanking her for her hospitality - leaving the house in quite the sullen mood.

Upon arriving home, I was greeted by an overly enthusiastic embrace from my father and a lack of her presence from my mother. The usual.

My dad requested that I told him all about the trip to Tokyo - but of course, I left out some of the details - for the sake of my dignity. And in return, he began drabbling about his recent experiences at work, leaving me truly enthralled by his anecdotes. After a long while, he ended his side of the conversation - finally letting me head upstairs into my room.

While I unpacked my bags, I took the hydrangea out from between the pages of my book, admiring it for a minute or two, before putting it back in the book - letting it rest there as a memory from the trip. I smiled at the thought of it, and how little of a thing that flower was - yet the amount of significance truly resonated with me.

For the rest of the week, everything flowed by rather smoothly, lessons being as average as they could be, Futakuchi being his usual self. Except for Takanobu, who seemed to become more and more solemn as each hour passed by. I didn't think that any person could ever appear that doleful. That was, until late Friday night, as I laid on my bed, trying desperately to fall asleep - my phone began to ring. On the other end was Takanobu's voice, tremulous from the fact he was crying. He didn't need to say much, I knew what was happening. His voice rang out...

"It's time..."

#aone #aone takanobu #aone x reader #aone takanobu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader

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angelicmichael · 4 years

Text

Imminient Annihilation Sounds so Dope, Chapter Eight.

Michael Langdon x reader

Summary: Reader gets to take care of a overly drunk Michael and attempts to make the most of the situation.

Words: 2.3K+

Warnings: Throwing up, someone being super drunk lol and passing out.

A/N: Sorry I haven’t updated this in forever! Lol. I hope y’all like this 🥺 I wrote the first half to this over two months ago so.. I feel like the first half sucks but I’m proud of the ending! Lol. Please reblog or heart if you enjoy ♥️

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Today you learned how much you preferred dealing with drunk Michael than sober Michael. Even though drunk Michael had thrown up at least two times in the past hour, but at least in this state he seemed to go mute. Michael being sloppily drunk seemed to make him not sloppy at all but more like very relaxed, less taunting, not so fucking mean and most importantly; not threatening or trying to kill you.

You two were currently in his hotel, which naturally, was another nice penthouse. It was nearly painfully easy to find directions to his hotel by ‘hacking’ into his phone, and you were surprised to see how.. unlike him his hotel looked. You were expecting candles and pentagrams but there only seemed to be folded fluffy white towels and a neatly made bed instead. You guessed he just arrived here today, since the hotel literally looked untouched.

There was a black bag in the room which you could only presume was his, and a couple bottles of dark red wine were littered around his bed. The manner in which the light reflected off of the bottles told you that the bottles were empty; which meant Michael was a hell of a lot more drunk than you had previously thought.

Michaels penthouse was unlike the own he owned in L.A. This one was large and spacious, the floor plan was open execpt one room; which you presumed was the bathroom. It had a nice view also, which was the one similar feature both of his penthouses held. The room was sleek and black execpt for the shockingly white sheets of the bed and curtains, and the towels of course.

You and Micheal both sat in the bathroom currently. He sat on the floor next to the toilet whilst you sat on the wall adjacent to where he was sitting, next to the bathtub. He was shirtless, which was your idea actually. Only because the less clothes he had to get vomit on the better.

Your phone was on the ground next to you, which frequently illuminated the room since the lights were kept dimmed. You figured there was no need for harsh lights since it seemed to just be irritating Michael. You knew Mallory was the one sending you texts, she was basically the only one who texted you in the first place - even before you met Michael. You felt it was better to not look at your phone at the moment though, Mallory could wait a few hours. Michael was the one who truly needed your attention at the moment.

You weren’t sure why you felt so compelled to be nice to Micheal and take care of him like this. Maybe it was because you felt so guilty for hurting Madison.. this was really the only way you knew how to pay him back for doing that.

You knew hands down he would never do anything like this for you. In fact, Madison and Micheal himself tried to kill you a mere couple days ago but things were different then.. right? Maybe it was just you being delusional but you felt like ever since you established you were stronger than Micheal; the dynamic changed between you two.

Although; you couldn’t help but to feel sad, or almost nostalgic for this moment. You knew this would only moment where you would have the chance to have a heart to heart with Michael or tell him what was truly on your mind. It didn’t really matter was you said to him at this point, he was so drunk - there was no way he would remember it tomorrow.

However, Micheal wasn’t talking much at the moment and you didn’t really mind that. You didn’t blame him for being quiet since he was incredibly sick, but it also disappointed you a bit since he was the only one you felt like talking too. He was the only one that might get or understand how you were feeling, you could only imagine he felt dissapoinyed you were his soulmate as well. He was in love with Madison, head over heels. So you took a chance, and you spoke.

“Michael, are you awake”? You asked.

He was bent over the toilet and you couldn’t exactly see if his eyes were open or not. His hands were on the rim of the toilet seat and his head rested on his hands, he nearly looked asleep. However when you spoke he sat up suddenly, with a dazed look in his eyes.

“Wassup”? He slurred.

You swallowed, you knew this would be the only opportunity to ‘attempt’ to have a heart to heart with Michael. You would probably never get this kind of opportunity again but you were nervous. It was irrational though because Micheal would never remember this conversation. You had nothing to really be scared of.

You broke eye contact and stared at your feet briefly as you spoke, and then looked at him again.

“Michael.. I’m sorry for what happened to Madison”. You said quietly.

You waited for him to do or even to say something but he just sat there, as if he didn’t really process what you just said. You shouldn’t have been surprised at his reaction, he was still very drunk after all. You quickly continued to keep talking, which ended up just coming out as you rambling.

“Well, I mean I was just defending myself. I’m not sorry for doing that but I’m sorry for how out of hand it got. It wasn’t my intention to hurt her I was just scared-“ You tried to keep going but Michael interrupted you.

“I know”. He said suddenly, looking into your eyes with a far-off, almost dead look in his eyes.

You knew it was probably because he was drunk but the way he was looking at you, made you feel incredibly uncomfterable.. Almost on edge.

His words made your skin crawl as well. If he really knew how you felt, if he had any empathy for you then he wouldn’t have literally tried to kill you with his girlfriend. You sat up a bit straighter and stretched a bit before replying and looking at him again.

“Michael you don’t know. If you really knew how I felt then you wouldn’t have tried to kill me-“

You immeaditly stopped talking once you realized Michael swiftly bent his back over the toilet and was gripping the edges of it for dear life as he threw his guts up - once again.

You managed to scramble over to him insanely fast, not really knowing what exactly to do - touching or rubbing his back seemed to intimate so you settled for just sitting next to him and making sure he didn’t choke on his own vomit. Every time he threw up, you could feel your heart skip a beat - you hated how you were concerned for him but yet, you just kind of wanted him to be okay.

He let go of the toilet and sat back suddenly which made you back off a bit as he looked at you as if he didn’t even notice how close you were. He was breathing heavy, extremely out of breath from being sick and there were tears in his eyes. Most likely from how exhausted he was from throwing up. In between his heavy breaths, he managed to throw out a,

“I’m sorry”. His words came out cold and sudden but yet; held a hint of sincereness to them.

You didn’t know what exactly what Michael was referring too, if he was sorry for the incident that had occurred with Madison or for the fact he had just thrown up. Either way, you knew not to take him too seriously - he was drunk. He didn’t necessarily mean anything he was saying. They were simply words with no meaning. Still, you couldn’t help but feel empathetic toward him. You looked at him, into his hazy blue eyes as you next spoke.

“It’s okay”. You replied softly.

You stayed silent for a couple of moments that, in reality probably only lasted a few minuets but felt like hours. You didn’t bother to move away; you now sat a couple feet away from him. It didn’t take long at all for the silentness of the bathroom to drive you mad, the sound of the bathroom vent seemed to become deafening to the point where you couldn’t take it anymore. Being silent like this was silly, being quiet and alone with your thoughts when you really didn’t have to be when Michael was here - was purely idiotic. So you chose to speak again. Just sitting in his bathroom waiting for him to throw up again seemed to be painfully unbearable.

“Michael.. why are you doing this? Why did you get painfully wasted”? You asked, with a slight giggle.

Your not sure what exactly you were expecting, maybe some witty or snarky comeback but he sounded defeated in the words he decided to use next.

“Take a guess”. He mused.

Maybe it was just a figment of your imagination or perhaps the haziness of being extremly tired had started to take over, but you could swear that Michael had stopped slurring his words. Almost seeming to speak completely coherently.

You sat their puzzled as you licked your lips and noticed your mouth was growing exceptionally dry as you tried to find a response. You really had no idea why Michael seemed to have a sudden change of heart and was even attempting to befriend you? It really made no sense.

“Your trying to kill me again”. The words came out before you even processed or thought about what you were about to say but you kept talking.

“You befriending me; this whole ‘ploy’ of you being nice to me is just good acting. You don’t care about me - you proven that far too many times Michael. Your just getting close to me so you can try to kill me again”. You said, emotion thick within your voice and tears even started to gather in your eyes by the time you were done with your little speech.

You stared down at your feet in shame, not daring to look Michael in the eyes. Your breath was hitched in your throat; you stopped breathing, it wasn’t necessarily a choice but you knew that if you took another breath you would end up sobbing. Admitting all of this, your deep insecurities to Michael - even if he was drunk - was already too much vulnerability for you.

After sitting like that for a moment, you started to feel extremely lightheaded - as if the world was spinning from the lack of oxygen when you suddenly felt strongly compelled to look up - and you did so.

You let go of the breath you were holding in so tightly when you noticed Michael had crawled towards you, and was now sitting terribly close to you. Too close.

His legs were drawn up near his chest and he looked at you curiously. Your notion of him being sober was clearly false, that was easy to tell now that you were looking at him up close. The way in which his eyes could barely stay focused and his mannerisms told you he clearly still had alcohol in his system. He continued to look puzzled as he spoke.

“Who hurt you like that, to make you think that way”? Michael asked.

You could tell by the way that he spoke that his words were genuine but you couldn’t help it as you felt anger boil in your veins. Was he that naive?

“What would you say, if I said it was you that did”? You words came spitting out as if you were breathing fire.

Michael looked around the room for a second as he lazily laughed. Your thoughts of him being sober seemed to come back to you, it was odd how he seemed to act like his sober self one minuete and drunk the next. You supposed it was just another thing you would never understand about him.

“Me? I barely know you”! Michael said, the words stifling with laughter. His laughter seemed to echo throughout the room until it seemingly was the only thing you could fucking hear and you had enough. You were more powerful than Michael, he did NOT get to talk down to you or mock you like this.

You would be the fucking supreme, and if you really wanted too, you could probably even kill him if you had no morals but it lucky for him, you weren’t a sociopath.

You quickly shot up so that you were on your two feet - standing up so fast that your head started to spin lightly again. You noticed how Michaels eyes were on you now as he watched as you tried to navigate yourself out of the bathroom as you were now incredibly light headed.

“Wait, where are you going”? You heard Michael ask as you turned around away from him.

You knew realistically he could only be barely a foot or so away but his voice sounded echoey and far away - almost like he was in another room. You also couldn’t help but giggle at his choice of words - that was definetly drunk Michael talking again.

At first you weren’t planning on responding to him but just as your hand found the door handle you whipped your head around - just enough to make eye contact.

“I never should’ve came back here with you. This was a fucking mistake. I should’ve known that you would never change”. You growled out.

You turned your body and your head back around quickly, but as you grabbed the door handle you felt the room spin faster and faster and you felt incredibly unsteady - until you finally lost your footing and fell backwards onto the hardwood floor.

Taglist: @mindlesschicca @mina672 @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakewaterxx @thewarriorprincessxo @theneverendinghunger @dark-mei-rose

#my works #my fic #imminient annihilation sounds so dope #AHS #fanfic #fan fiction #Michael Langdon #Michael Langdon x reader #Michael x reader #I felt like I should use my normal taglist on this fic so that’s why I did so lmao #I know everyone doesn’t read this fic!#also I’m laughing cause I feel like Reader always has a mental breakdown every chapter dhdkdjs #I really hope you guys like this tho!!

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nanakyun0j0 · 4 years

Text

Cinema Rose

Hello! This is Nana here with my secret santa gift for @softsungchan! It’s been a while since I’ve written anything, and this is not proof read ;-; but I really hope you enjoy this. Have a super merry Christmas and a happy new year! I’d also like to wish @lucaswithnoshirt and @bumblebeenct a really wonderful Christmas and say thank you for organising this awesome event :D.

Genres: Fluff, comedy (I really tried)

Word count: 2024

Warnings: A few swear words, mentions of a heart attack, and old cinemas? (I am not very good at these, if you find anything else I should add,

lease let me know and I’ll put them in ^^).

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Remixes of old christmas songs blasted from the speakers around him, and Taeil sang along quietly while he made his way to the old cinema at the end of the shopping district.

It hadn’t been long since school had ended and he’d been too bored to stay at home and too tired from the school year to make plans with others.

So, he decided to walk around the places he always went to, but never paid any attention to. Like the shopping district he walked through on his way to school.

He’d heard from Taeyong, a junior he knew from middle school, about an old cinema that played christmas movies during the holidays for free. Taeil was skeptical at first. Playing movies for the whole month of December for free?

After some reconnaissance (read: asking his parents), he’d found that the place was apparently so old that the carpets smelled like caramel popcorn and old socks, and the lights flickered if you stayed after 7pm. They were surprised that it was even still open because of how decrepit the outside looks.

So, his initial impression of the old cinema hadn’t been the best, and he’d shrugged away any thoughts of visiting it.

Until today, that is.

His parents were out on a gift buying spree for their relatives, and his younger sister had been dragged along, which she wasn’t happy about, judging by her fierce grumbling as she slammed the car door shut when they were leaving.

So that meant that he had escaped the drudgery that was Christmas shopping, but he’d also been left at home alone with effectively nothing to do.

He’d finished playing all his games during the school year, instead of studying of course. There was also no way he’d actually be responsible and look over material for next year so he could get ahead of his classes. Which left him with only a few options:

He could go back to sleep, or restart some random game and play it all over again, or he could just wander around outside and find something to do.

‘Right.’ He thought to himself as he grabbed a jacket, his phone and house keys,

‘Guess I’ll just walk around.’

—————————————————————-

He’d walked around most of his neighbourhood, and without realising it, his feet lead him on the familiar path of the local shopping district. It was usually a bustling place, full of loud voices calling out to customers, and children playing around.

Today was no different and Taeil, who’d spent his whole holidays so far inside, found the change of pace refreshing. Despite the chilly weather and the fact that he really wasn’t wearing nearly enough layers for how cold he felt, he was enjoying the vibrant atmosphere of the street.

Shutting his mind off, he was content to explore the streets around him.

——————————————————————————————————

You stood slouched at the counter, face blank and head rested in your hands. You drummed your fingers against your cheeks and let out a long sigh.

Burying your head into your hands and groaning softly, you wondered to yourself why you got yourself into this in the first place.

When your uncle had asked you to work at the old cinema for the holidays, you’d initially been okay with it.

After all, it was quick money and, knowing how bad the sales were, you wouldn’t need to interact with people that much.

You valued your space after all, and serving customers was never really something you felt happy doing. Plus, it was fun to have the place to yourself for most of the day, and you were never low on snacks to eat.

In hindsight, you should have predicted the boredom that would come with standing around for the whole day. Even with your phone, there were only so many times you could refresh Twitter and Instagram and find something interesting to look at.

Day in and day out, you were stuck in the dark cinema with flickering lights and musty carpets, and it was slowly driving you insane.

You bit your lip and creased your eyebrows, mulling over if it would be that big of a deal to just leave the counter and go home. It was nearly closing time anyway, and you couldn’t imagine what poor fool would come to this dusty cinema when it was almost Christmas.

‘Everyone’s busy with decorating and gift buying, no one’s even gonna come here.’

You told yourself.

With your conscience cleared and stomach empty, you gathered as much popcorn as you could fit in the largest container, locked the counter and headed outside.

——————————————————————————————————

Taeil stared at the sign in front of him.

‘Cinema Rose’s Merry Christmas special event! For the whole month of December, watch a movie for free!’

It read.

He wondered how he managed to end up here, of all places. Especially after he’d promised himself so many times that he wouldn’t bother. Then he wondered if he even remembered the way he came.

‘Shit,’ he thought to himself

‘How am I gonna get home?’

He took a deep breath and looked around frantically, trying to find a familiar looking path. All of the streets looked new to him.

Finding nothing he recognised, he was about to pull out his phone when he heard the entrance to the cinema open.

His head whipped to face the doors and he saw a girl around his age in a baggy uniform carrying an obscene amount of popcorn in her hands. Her back was facing him and she looked like she was trying to lock the door.

‘She must work here! Nice, I can ask her for directions!’

So he mustered up his courage and cleared his throat and called out to the girl.

“E-excuse me, I’m a bit lost, could you please help me?” He cursed himself for his shaking voice.

The girl turned around and stared at him for bit with a confused expression, then blinked and replied,

“O-oh, yeah, sure! Where did you want directions to?” Her soft voice was gentle when she spoke to him, and Taeil was a bit flustered. She wasn’t only pretty, but had a cute voice too?

The same could be said for you.

You hadn’t noticed him standing in front of the cinema at first, so you were a bit startled when he suddenly spoke to you.

You turned to see who it was, and nearly had a heart attack. A boy around your age you’d assume, with a large puffy jacket and kind looking eyes. He’d appeared so suddenly that you were surprised.

He was so pretty you were shocked stiff for a few seconds, but you snapped yourself out of it and hurried to reply.

You cursed yourself for stuttering and hoped he didn’t notice. His blank face at your reply made it seem like he didn’t. You thanked the heavens above and waited for him to continue speaking.

“R-right.” He cleared his throat and you stifled a snort. You both seemed to be nervous around each other.

“Do you know the shopping district near the local all-boys school? My neighbourhood is around there so I just wanted to know how I could get to that area?” He explained.

You nodded at his words.

Despite being a homebody, you did like to go on walks quite regularly, and you lived close to the cinema so you knew the area like the back of your hand. You were about to tell him the way when your brain stopped you.

‘Wait, _____,’ It said to you.

‘If you just give him directions, who knows when you’ll see him again! If you’ll see him again! Don’t lose this opportunity, you’re already lonely enough as it is!’

Your brain made a compelling last minute argument, and you couldn’t help but agree. Your family had been here for a long time, but you had grown up in a different city for most of your life.

You’d only come here to spend the holidays with your aunt and uncle because your parents were away on business. You hadn’t managed to make any friends, so all you could do was stay at home or walk around the cinema or your house.

You at least wanted to try to make friends before you left, then it wouldn’t be so hard to be in this town while you stayed until school started again.

Taeil was staring at you with a worried expression while you were going through your little crisis, and he tried calling out to you to get your attention. It didn’t work, so he stepped closer to you and waved a hand in front of your face, causing you to flinch and shout out in surprise.

“Woah! What the heck?”

“Sorry-“ Taeil said with wide eyes and a small frown on his face,

“I called out to you but you wouldn’t respond so I- sorry…” His voice was quiet and apologetic and you felt bad.

“No! No, not at all, it’s my fault! I just got distracted because I was trying to remember the way, sorry about that.” You told him. He seemed to believe your poorly thought out lie with the way his eyes brightened in understanding and his head nodded along.

You inwardly wiped the sweat off your forehead and tried to make the most friendly expression you could muster after a whole day of standing around with nothing to do.

“I’m not very good with explaining, so would it be ok if I just showed you the way? My house is nearby too, so it wouldn’t be out of my way.” You said to him cheerily. You hoped he’d buy this lie too.

He smiled widely at you, and you almost felt a bit bad about imposing your presence on this boy you’d just met.

‘But this is all for friendship! Maybe more, but don’t get so ahead of yourself!’

“That would be great, thanks! If you’re sure it won’t be a bother!” He chirped. You nearly melted inside at how polite he was being with you.

Returning his smile and asking him to follow you, you lead the way out of the cinema and made your way to the shopping district, trying your hardest to think of something to talk about. Which wasn’t as hard as you thought.

For every question you could ask, Taeil had an answer. You quickly learned that he was really easy to get along with, and he was great at carrying conversations. He was awkward at first, but you soon found a rhythm while talking and before you knew it you made your way to the shopping district near his house. Your footsteps slowed and you both halted at the entrance, a lull now forming when you both stopped talking.

You stayed silent, not knowing what to say, stuck in your head with worries that he might not want to talk anymore after this. That he only continued conversations with you because he was bored.

Taeil’s voice broke through your thoughts. His voice soft and nervous again as he asked you for your number.

Your face heated up at his straightforward request bit complied, albeit with shaky hands. After you both put your phones away, Taeil spoke again.

“Hey, ____. I had lots of fun with you today. So uh-“ He fumbled with the strings of his hood,

“Do you wanna meet tomorrow as well? I get that you have work, but I could go to the cinema and we could hang out there? O-only if you want to!”

His eyes looked anywhere but you and you could see in his smile that he was worried about you refusing.

You grinned and shook your head.

“I’d love to see you tomorrow, Taeil. I really had fun today too!”

You spoke in the most sincere tone you could and hoped he could sense it. With the way he beamed at you after you replied, you were sure he understood you.

With that you both parted ways, and walked home with smiles on your faces, and chests so warm no amount of snow could make you feel cold.

#taeil x reader #taeil #moon taeil #nct taeil #taeil fluff #nct scenarios #nct 127 #nct #im really tired #i will go sleep now #good night lol #Merry Christmas!!

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second-chance-stray · 4 years

Photo

RP Log: Bertram helps Cravs with a bug problem. They meet each other, but fail to connect the dots...

Cravendy Hound pants heavily as she BOOKS it, sprinting away from a swarm of bugs and microchus that nip at her heels. She hadn’t even been doing anything prior - just going on a walk by the stream. Just enjoying the crisp, cool air. But it would seem that the elementals had had enough of her target practice, and now the woods don’t seem as peaceful as they were in the past.

Bertram Windshadow had been attempting to do the very same with his own time on this particular day. There were always a myriad of things upon his mind these days. It did him good to simply step out and move without particular direction and unrestrained pace. Wherever to the wind lead him. That is, of course, until he spied a roegadyn woman being harried by the denizens of the Black Shroud. 1/2

Bertram Windshadow came to a stop within the canopy of a moderately sized tree before dropping down to the forest floor so that he could get a better assessment of the situation. He wasn't about to leave someone in trouble . .. in trouble. 2/2

Cravendy Hound stretches her arm back, aims her gun at her pursuers, and fires a couple of rounds. Some of the shots hit microchus, splitting them from the mob momentarily...though, with every one that was dispatched, two would spring from the bushes and take its place. Meanwhile, for the bugs, I simply present to you this question...have you ever fired a gun at a housefly? Would that work? The answer is no. No, it would not work.

Cravendy Hound: “Godsdamned, bleedin’ flyin’ pieces of shite! Overgrown spinach!” Cravs swats at the air as bugs relentlessly buzz around her. In an attempt to get them off her back, she jumps off the side of the cliff and into the river...however, she misjudges the depth of her target. It’s much too shallow to keep the bugs away from her. And now, she’s drenched AND annoyed.

Bertram Windshadow watches quietly for a moment as the stranger attempts to ward off the pests with her firearm. An attempt that causes the highlander to wince slightly just before she plunges herself into the drink . .. well, at least as much as she could manage in the relative shallowness. 1/3

Bertram Windshadow could only assume that the single-minded focus of these creatures could only come from one place. She'd done something to annoy the Elementals. Not enough to rouse them to outright *anger*, but . .. enough to peeve them. It was an easy mistake to make and Bertram figured they'd more than learned the lesson no need for further assault. 2/3

Bertram Windshadow reached into one of his pouches and pulled out a small orb. With a firm press, and a quiet click, it began belching out a stream of smoke or fog. The man then quickly rolled it in the direction of Cravendy in the hopes of helping disperse the swarm of bugs! 3/3

(Cravendy Hound) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ )) (Bertram Windshadow) (( *dies* This was what was *exactly* what was playing in my heat. ))

Cravendy Hound is too busy swatting away the bugs and plant monsters to notice the source of the sudden smoke, so she thinks it’s the Elementals toying with her further. Her confusion serves to make her even angrier. “If yer gonna kill me, just do it an’ be done with it!” What follows is a long-winded, story of a swear that ends with a coughing fit.

Cravendy Hound - The smoke, meanwhile, does disperse the bugs. They now hover at the edges of where the cloud stops. You can’t see through it, though you can certainly hear all sorts of things happening beneath its foggy exterior.

Bertram Windshadow bobs his head to the side slightly and makes his way forward at a slightly accelerated pace, breaking his way into the opaque cloud and speaking so that he can make his presence known. "I don't think you're going to get killed today, stranger, but we should probably get you closer to Gridania ..." He calls out before attempting to reach out and touch Cravendy's arm to let her know where he is.

Cravendy Hound: “Who, in the name of Llymlaen’s left teat, are you?!” Upon being touched, she instinctively aims her gun right at Bertram, and then glances to the side. “Behind ye!”

Cravendy Hound - Her aim shifts ever so slightly, from being pointed at Bertram’s forehead to something else entirely. The shot rings out, wind brushing dangerously close to his ear, and then sinks directly into a microchu that had been sneaking up behind them. “Gods, ye...let’s get out of ‘ere.”

Bertram Windshadow winces visibly -- or invisibly given the current circumstances -- at the sound of the gunshot so close to his ear. The ear on that side of his head was nothing but ringing in the moment and he could barely make out the latter half of her speaking. My this woman was an aggressive one. Some dots were starting to connect regarding the Shrouds current state of upset. 1/2

Bertram Windshadow called out in a voice slightly louder than necessary, "Let's get out of here," he echoes her sentiment without realizing it. "They're just going to keep coming if you fight them like that." 2/2

Cravendy Hound nods. She had no desire to let the ‘friendly, forest friends’ have their way for any longer. “Gridania’s a tad far...But Hyrstmill’s just a rock skip away. Let’s find a ‘ovel to ‘ole in and be done with this.”

Bertram Windshadow has to strain to hear the suggestion, but he calls out with an affirmative sound before reaching in to the same pouch again to remove another sphere. With a 'click' the smoke begins to spew and he pivots on a heel to face the direction of the small outpost. As he does he throws his arm back and then swings it forward; throwing the smoke-spewing orb like a bowling ball. In its path it leaves a trail of smoke. "That'll hopefully then thin the herd and give us an opening!"

Cravendy Hound stares curiously at the orb, and then back to Bertram. It clicks in her mind. The smoke? Not the Elementals. This guy. This...stranger, who happens to have smoke-spewing orbs in his possession. Questions would have to wait until after they weren’t being hounded by angry flies and grass. She makes a break for Hrystmill, coughing all the while.

Bertram Windshadow set his pace to match Cravendy's as he kept himself in her wake. He felt compelled to keep an eye out for anything that might lunge at the woman while she was making a break for it. This wasn't exactly what he was expecting to do with his day but it certainly beat being stuck in his own head. "Just keep running they'll break off eventually!"

(Cravendy Hound) LOL I'm seeing an unintentional, but reoccuring theme...in an earlier rp, cravs sucked in a feather and had a coughing fit. After this, she's gonna be super hoarse xD )) (Bertram Windshadow) (( Hahaha! It helps in sounding grumpy!! )) (Cravendy Hound) let's move to hrystmill! :3 )) (Cravendy Hound) LOL 6-pack a day scratchy voice. "WATER..." ))

Cravendy Hound - As they run, they can hear, but not see, the monsters pursuing close behind. But eventually, as Hrystmill comes into view, the noise grows fainter and fainter. In reclaimed silence, the sound of hearts pounding and panting breaths come back to the forefront. Cravs lets out a long groan and falls to the ground in a kneel. She beats the dirt twice with her fist, gets back up, and faces Bertram. She has no idea what to say.

Cravendy Hound: “.................So. That ‘appened.”

Bertram Windshadow eases as the sound of pursuit fades a quiet breath draining from his lungs as he finally gives himself a moment to glance over his shoulder. It hadn't seemed like they were in *mortal* danger, but it was hard to say when an elemental would decide to be a little extra cranky at any given moment. He dusted his hands off on his legs as he shifted his attention back to Cravendy. "Sure did ..." he answered, allowing himself a quiet laugh before bobbing his head to the side.

Bertram Windshadow: "I hope they didn't get any nasty bites in ..."

Cravendy Hound: “Couple of bruises and scratches, but nothin’ major. Gods, first dodos, now bugs and bloodthirsty flowers.” She lets out a long sigh. The world was conspiring against her, which...well, was fair, as she had a lot to answer for. But she wondered, why now? Why not before, or later? One thing is for sure, though. She’s thankful that this stranger was here to help out.

Cravendy Hound sizes up Bertram. He looks kind of familiar, but she shelves that feeling off to the side. “Thanks for ‘elping out. I’m Cravs. And ye are?”

(Bertram Windshadow) (( Would Bertram know that nickname? I don't *think* he would, but I figured I'd check before having him be oblivious, hahaha (Cravendy Hound) hmm I mean, she refers to herself as such, but idk if others would to her?? haha )) (Cravendy Hound) up to you really :P )) (Bertram Windshadow) (( I think Lin has only said Cravendy to him! So I don't think he'd make the immediate connection! Not yet anyway! ))

Bertram Windshadow bobs his head to the side slightly, "I can't pretend to know *why* but I think you did something to upset the elementals," he offered quietly as he finished dusting himself off and glancing around Hyrstmill, ". .. they can be a bit sensitive about how you treat the forest." He pauses for a moment before dipping his head toward the woman. "It's nice to meet you Cravs. Most folk these days call me Windshadow."

Cravendy Hound brings a hand up to her face and covers it in thought. Upset the elementals...no. Her target practice? She had thought since it was an accident, it’d be fine, but perhaps not. Blast it all, now she’d have to get a conjurer to help her apologize to those, frankly, eldritch spirits.

Cravendy Hound: “Windshadow. Now that’s a title -and- a mouthful...any reason why people call ye that?” Her brows knit together and her eyes narrow. He clearly wasn’t your average adventurer, judging from his gear. “That yer secret, crime fightin’ identity or somethin’?”

Bertram Windshadow blinks in surprise, though not that one could tell from behind the visor, at her comment. He'd never really thought about it like *that* before. There's an awkward pause before Bertram's hand rises up to the back of his neck and he shook his head. "Oh, no. It's nothing like that," he responds with a laughing tone, "It's ... an epithet. A Gyr Abanian thing."

Bertram Windshadow: "I can be ... pretty fast when I need to be. Quiet too."

Cravendy Hound just realizes that she’s smiling. Everything that had happened in the past hour. The smoke, the running...and now, Windshadow standing here, as polite as could be. He was an amusing enigma to her. “No need to be bashful. If people call ye something like that, then I doubt ye only go ‘pretty’ fast. But can ye outrun a chocobo? I’d be willin’ to bet against ye.”

Cravendy Hound laughs - the challenge only half serious. “But seriously. Ye saved my ‘ide back there. What can I do for ye...’ow about round of drinks on me?”

Bertram Windshadow can only laugh a bit more fully at the prospective challenge, his head shaking slightly as a smile finds solid purchase upon his lips. "Depends on the terrain and distance, honestly. A 'bo's going to out last me in the long run on flat ground." He shakes his head gently, as though he was dismissing the thought as overly self-indulgent. He cleared his throat at the new offer. "I ... " he pauses, tilting his head to the side, "... I wouldn't turn down a drink or two, no."

Bertram Windshadow: "But I'm just glad to have been at the right place at the right time."

Cravendy Hound scratches the back of her head, amused by how seriously Windshadow is taking the chocobo challenge. She can hardly imagine what it’d look like for a hyur to move that quickly. Would he send himself sailing forward like a rocket, or would he just move his limbs -that fast-?! Either way, she steps over and playfully bumps his shoulder with her fist. “I know a spot nearby that serves a solid Mun-Tuy Brew. Over ‘ere.”

Cravendy Hound would bring the two of them to an unassuming establishment. When she enters, she dips her head towards the Elezen barkeep, who returns the gesture. By the time Cravs takes a seat, the barkeep has already set out two cups and a bottle of brew on the table. The usual.

Bertram Windshadow laughed -- albeit a bit nervously -- as Cravendy bumped his shoulder gently while passing by while making her way further into the town. He certainly couldn't complain about a good drink of mun tuy so he followed behind her whilst glancing around the village with a thoughtful expression. He didn't say too much on the way but, as he settled in before the second cup of drink, he couldn't help but ask. "What had you out in this neck of the woods anyway?"

Cravendy Hound has already finished a cup and is halfway through pouring herself another glass. She places the bottle back to the center of the table with a satisfying, though loud, thump. “......Ye’d be surprised ‘ow far those critters chased me. That said, I come out ‘ere now and again. Nice trees, nice folk.” She clears her throat, and then says in a slightly lower voice: “The drinks not bad too.”

Bertram Windshadow might have -- perhaps -- been attempting to discern what the woman might have down to agitate the elementals, but ... he didn't seem like he was about to start prying where he wasn't invited. It didn't seem like he was Like That. Instead he bobbed his head forward and began a much more *measured* approach to his drinking. "I find it similarly calming. Spend time up in the boughs can really help clear the head when you're feeling a bit overwhelmed."

Cravendy Hound raises a brow. “So, ye run really fast, and ye have orbs that shoot out smoke. What are ye, some kind of courier? If ye feelin’ overwhelmed, then just tell the big man to stuff it. Don’t work so much.” She lifts her cup up with a grin. “Lifes too short not to indulge in the good stuff.”

(Cravendy Hound) lmao I can't get over how these two haven't connected the dots )) (Bertram Windshadow) (( It's *pretty* great! Hahaha. ))

Bertram Windshadow tilts his head to the side slightly as he listens to Cravendy's Words of Wisdom. He sips upon his drink thoughtfully for a moment before giving a concessionary bob of his head. He certainly found himself dwelling on the bad recently. Though it wasn't quite related to work as she might be assuming. Given his effective unemployment at the moment. "... I suppose that's true." He murmurs quietly, maybe more to himself than to Cravendy proper, "Is that what you were doing out there?"

Cravendy Hound leans back on her chair, feet propped up on the table. “Chin up. Ye seem the earnest type. Try at somethin’ long enough and it’ll change, eventually.” She takes another sip and listens to the sound of the waterwheel turning on the river. Windshadow’s second question gives her pause. “What? Was I...out ‘ere to indulge, ye mean?”

Bertram Windshadow quietly nods his head in response to her further words of assurance -- though it seemed difficult to determine how they were received behind the vidor -- before she asked her clarifying question. "Oh," he cleared his throat and shook his head, "Well, that or just ... enjoying the 'good stuff' as it were."

Cravendy Hound smirks, and gestures to the alcohol on the table, as if that was answer enough to his question. The two made an interesting drinking duo, and Cravs found herself drawn to her withdrawn, fast-running companion. When they eventually parted ways, she let him know that he was welcome to swing by for another round of drinks...or perhaps, she would find him, and make good on her bet that he could outrun a chocobo.

#ff14 rp logs #Cravendy Hound #Bertram Windshadow #A LATE POST BUT #fddkjsl these two #the power of BEEs have brought them together #Cravs just thinks Bertram is a very very professional courier

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cozy-the-overlord · 4 years

Text

Crimson Curls

Summary: A barista at the Avengers Tower coffeeshop goes missing. Her boyfriend, prominent Avengers engineer Michael Hauer, headlines a desperate campaign to find her, aided by the support of Tony Stark and the rest of the super-powered team. But as Hauer's narrative begins to unravel, it becomes clear that a certain Asgardian prince knows more than he's telling.

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Chapter 1: Disappearance

Previous chapter | Next Chapter

Word Count: 3,138

A/N: This is definitely something born out of my obsession with true crime and missing persons cases... I'm not sure if anybody else is as interested in this concept as I am, but I had the time of my life writing this story, so I hope that translates to you in some way.

Also, this is my first multi-chaptered fic (I know, exciting, right?!)-- part 2 should be up within the next week.

Thanks for reading!

TW: domestic violence

Read it on Ao3

Kristine Ververs was first reported missing at 6:07 AM on Tuesday, March 17, by her boyfriend Michael Hauer. He was a bit worried, he said, because she had stormed out of their apartment the night before after a fight, and he had only just realized when he woke up that morning that she never came back. His attempts to call her led him to discover that she had left her cell phone on the kitchen counter.

The dispatcher asked him to wait at the apartment for investigators to arrive. He told her he couldn’t. He had to go to work. A bit befuddled, she asked if it was at all possible for him to wait until police arrived so they could ask him some questions.

“You don’t understand,” he said. “I work for Tony Stark.”

Michael Hauer was considered to be fairly acclaimed at the Avengers Tower. He had been one of the first engineers hired when the Tower opened, picked out by the infamous genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist himself. He spent his days in the restricted upper floors, designing and testing projects so confidential that his girlfriend didn’t even know what they were.

He had met Kristine at the Tower. She worked in the coffeeshop next to the cafeteria, where the employees of all 93 stories flocked to with bleary eyes each and every morning. Kristine was hardly the most talkative barista there (on the contrary, she appeared to make it a point to say only the bare minimum), and yet she was the girl everyone thought of when they thought of their morning brew. Her wild mane of curly red hair stood out in a crowd. Even when she wasn’t in uniform, people knew her as the coffeeshop girl.

It was unclear what she thought of this. A lot of things about Kristine were unclear—she spoke very little, and never about herself. Her coworkers often wondered why someone so shy would choose to work a job that so heavily relied on social interaction, but she managed just fine. Despite her natural demeanor, she would put on a smile and speak in that bubbly barista voice people found either endearing or irritating for the customers, and no one thought anything of it.

When she disappeared, people were shocked.

“You mean the redhead from the food court?” asked Bruce in the apartment story of the Tower when the news broke. “She’s the one?”

“Yeah,” said Tony. They were crowded around the TV, the newscaster flashing a photo of Kristine shyly smiling at the camera as the tip hotline ran across the bottom of the screen. “Poor Hauer. He was a mess. I can’t believe he even came in today.”

“I didn’t know they were dating. I don’t think he’s ever mentioned her.”

“Yeah he has,” Steve turned around in his chair to face the doctor. “He brought her to the Christmas party, remember?”

Tony frowned. “Did he?”

“Of course! I remember!” Thor lit up. “She danced with my brother!”

“Oh that’s right,” Tony chuckled. “Poor girl. She didn’t say much, did she?”

“She did strike me as a bit shy,” Steve said. “I hope it’s all a misunderstanding. Maybe she’ll be back on her own.”

But she didn’t. As the days passed with no news of Kristine Ververs, media attention snowballed around the Tower. On its own, there wasn’t much to the case, but the fact that both the missing girl and her boyfriend worked for the Avengers caught the attention of the public. It seemed so impossible. How does someone who walks among superheroes vanish without a trace?

Missing posters lined the hallway walls: HAVE YOU SEEN KRISTINE? People rushed to news stations for interviews, most of which had no connection to her beyond the fact that she sometimes made their lattes in the morning. Hauer held emotional press conferences, begging anyone with information that might lead to Kristine to come forward. Everyone looked at him differently now. The standoffish, stiff engineer that had once been considered uncomfortable to be around was now a grieving boyfriend. They sent him flowers and patted him on the back in the halls, telling him they’d be praying for his girlfriend, promising to help keep the story alive.

Although that probably wasn’t an issue. Stark himself got in front of the camera, making international news as he expressed the Avengers’ concern for the Ms. Ververs and offered to help the police in their investigation in any way they could.

The investigators would have happily accepted this help if they had found anything for Stark to help with. But the fact of the matter was that there was nothing: no clues, no sightings, not even the slightest trace that Kristine Ververs had ever left her apartment. The security cameras in the lobby showed her coming home from dinner with Hauer at 8:13 PM that Sunday night, but had no record of her exiting the building around two hours later, when Hauer saw her storm out. They considered that she may have been pulled into another room, that for some reason she left through a fire escape, but the few cameras in the hallway showed nothing and witnesses were nonexistent.

Kristine had seemingly vanished into thin air.

“Do you think there’s something supernatural at play here?” Natasha asked one day. “Like, a leftover portal from the Convergence or something?”

“Unlikely,” Bruce said. “The Convergence caused our tech to go haywire. We’d definitely be getting noticeable readings if there was a portal down the street.”

“But something like that is still possible,” Tony interjected. “What with all the crazy shit we deal with on a regular basis. Someone might have been going after Hauer—he’s one of our top engineers, it wouldn’t surprise me.”

The fact that she had left her phone was strange, as well. The screen was cracked rather badly—Hauer explained that had happened a few weeks ago when she dropped it on the bathroom tile. Her call history showed that the night she went missing she had phoned an unlisted number. The call hadn’t been long—likely, it had been cut off before the other line even had a chance to answer.

Unfortunately, there seemed to be no clue as to who was on the other line. The number was so badly scrambled that it was untraceable, even with Tony’s resources. In fact, he was relatively certain that whoever she had called had been using his tech to hide their number—leading to a heightened suspicion cast upon the higher-ups at the Avenger Tower.

When after two weeks there were still no leads, Tony held another press conference to announce that he would be posting a one-million-dollar reward for any information that led to the safe return of Kristine Ververs. Hauer joined him, thanking Mr. Stark profusely and pleading once more for help from the public. In the Tower, the others watched the broadcast from the television in silence.

“Filthy weasel.”

No one had noticed Loki entering the room until he spat the words like venom, glaring at Hauer’s distressed face on the screen.

Nat frowned. “What’s your problem?”

The Asgardian made his way to the kitchen and set about boiling water, still scowling darkly. “He has the audacity to sit there and wail as though he’s the victim of some great crime,” he said. “As if he’s some tortured soul wracked with fear.”

“Brother, the woman he loves has gone missing,” Thor said. “Can you not blame him for being in pain?”

“Oh yes, he’s in such pain,” Loki rolled his eyes as he prepared a mug and teabag. “Stark is close with him, is he not? Has he asked him what it was they were quarreling over so passionately that his lady felt compelled to run out of their home in the middle of the night?” He mixed the water in the mug. “Or has no one thought to question that?” With that, he slipped down the hallway with his tea, leaving the others and their gaping expressions behind.

Loki wasn’t the first to doubt Michael Hauer’s authenticity. His neighbor, Colleen Donalds, had come forward to the police shortly after the case went public to voice her concerns. She lived across the hall from the couple, she said, and a lot of times she’d overhear their arguments. They were always incredibly one-sided. She told the police that she very rarely made out Kristine’s voice during these exchanges, but Michael’s boomed all the way down the hall. He called his girlfriend the most demeaning things, throwing out words that Colleen was ashamed to repeat. She felt sorry for Kristine.

“She’s always so quiet,” she said. “Even when I run into her when Michael’s not around, she barely says a word. I can’t believe she stays with him.”

Colleen Donalds attempted discretion. Her story was to the police and the police alone, avoiding making any direct accusations and trying to stay out of the entire situation as much as possible. Marlon Arcardi had no such interest.

“He hits her,” the couple’s next-door neighbor told the tabloid reporters. “I hear it through the walls. I’ve called the cops on him a couple times, but they never do anything about it. He was doing it the night she went missing, too. I heard the crashing. He’s a complete piece of shit.”

The magazines that hit the stands next to the grocery store checkout lines screamed in red ink: AVENGER ENGINEER RESPONSIBLE FOR GIRLFRIEND’S DISAPPEARENCE?

When questioned about it, Hauer denied all allegations. “We’d get into fights,” he said. “What couple doesn’t? It was nothing serious, and the more we focus on it, the more distracted we become from the actual issue: Kristine is missing.”

“Are you saying Mr. Arcardi is lying in his statements to the press?”

Michael Hauer shrugged bitterly. “He wants attention. He’s getting attention. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He’s trying to derail the investigation so he can have fifteen minutes of fame. It’s sickening, because we right now we need to be concentrating on Kristine.”

Hauer managed to skirt by on this explanation for a bit, but the investigators soon discovered that Marlon Arcardi was telling the truth—at least, about calling the cops. In the two years that Kristine and Michael had been living together, the police had been called to their apartment nine separate times: seven public disturbance calls from a smattering of different neighbors including Acardi, and shockingly, twice from Kristine herself.

The police refused to release these calls, saying only that each time there were no charges pressed. The public was left to draw their own conclusions as they called in Michael Hauer for more questioning. Suspicion began to blossom.

“If they’re this perfect, happy couple like he wants us to believe,” asked one newscaster. “Then why is she calling 911 on him? Why is she running out in the middle of the night? The whole thing is extremely concerning.”

More people began coming forward. There seemed to be no end to the neighbors who overheard crashes and cursing coming from the Hauer apartment. The baristas Kristine worked with started doing interviews as well.

“We used to have like, you know, night outs on the weekends sometimes,” said Curt Chambers, one of her coworkers. “We’d always ask Kristine, but she always had some excuse. Like, she was sick, or she already had plans, or something. I joked with her once, like ‘you can just say you don’t want to go, we won’t be offended.’ And she said something like ‘no, it’s not that. It’s just my boyfriend doesn’t like me being out too late.’ And I remember thinking that was a really weird thing to say.”

Elaine Janson, another coworker, had more to add. “Something always felt off about that relationship,” she said. “They’d come in together, and then he’d come down a couple times during the day. It was like he was checking on her. It was weird. And they always left together. If he was working late, she’d wait for him.” Elaine shrugged. “Kristine always seemed so tense when he was around. I mean, she was shy to begin with, but when Michael came by it was different.”

It was also revealed that Michael Hauer had failed two lie detector tests: one taken on March 19th, within days of his girlfriend’s disappearance, and another on March 27th.

Tony Stark was inundated with calls: from reporters, from employees, from concerned citizens, some asking if he still supported Michael Hauer in light of new allegations, others demanding that he fire him immediately. He responded in a press conference in front of the Tower.

“As of right now, I’ve been shown no evidence indicating that Michael Hauer is in any way involved in Kristine Ververs’ disappearance. If and when that evidence comes to light, we will reevaluate the situation and take appropriate steps.”

Then somebody leaked the calls.

No one was quite sure who got ahold of those tapes, but by morning they were being blasted on every single news broadcast under the sun. It was the first time that the public was hearing anything in Kristine’s own words, and it didn’t bode well for Michael Hauer.

“Can you please just send someone?” she whispered into the microphone, breath labored as she struggled to get the words out. “He’s really mad, I think he’s going to break down the door. Please, is someone coming?” In the background, a masculine voice was yelling something intelligible, clobbering at a wall.

“Does he get mad often?” the operator asked after assuring her that the police were on their way.

Kristine Ververs gulped back a sob. “He’s always mad.”

The second call didn’t even have words. A scream, the crash as the phone tumbled to the floor, more yelling, pleading, crying, pounding, the operator tracing the call and sending in a unit…

Michael Hauer was formally asked to resign from his duties at the Avengers Tower. When he refused, he was terminated.

Still, he remained steadfast in his story. “Kristine has been missing for nearly a month now,” he stated in a recording posted to social media (press conferences were out of the question now; so many people showed up to protest that he couldn’t get a word in edgewise). “On occasion, we would get into violent fights, but I would never do anything to hurt her. I loved her more than anything. Please, don’t allow my mistakes to derail the investigation. We must not lose focus.”

A tweet of the video link with the caption “You loved her?? Enough lies. Where’s the body, Michael?” shot up to over 2 million likes in a day. #WheresTheBodyMichael and #JusticeForKristine began trending. Petitions for the arrest of Michael Hauer racked up signatures by the hundreds.

On April 21st, over a month after Kristine Ververs was first reported missing, a second, more in-depth search of the Hauer apartment was conducted. They noticed some things that had been missed the first time. The door lock had recently been replaced. The television screen was scratched. But, most critically, there was kitchen knife missing from the set atop the refrigerator. When questioned, Hauer claimed he had no idea what could have happened to it.

Detection dogs were brought in. While the cadaver dogs found no sign of the presence of a corpse, two different blood hounds alerted to the scent of human blood in the kitchen area and indicated a trail leading towards hall. A sample was taken from the carpet and sent to the lab for analysis. With the help of the advanced technology offered by the Avengers Tower, it was conclusively identified as Kristine’s blood.

As if that wasn’t enough already, a few days later, on April 25th, a trash collector turned in the missing kitchen knife to the police. He said he had noticed it in a dumpster earlier that day and recognized it from the description in the paper. There were three sets of fingerprints on the handle: Michael Hauer’s, Kristine Ververs’, and an inconclusive set assumed to be the trash collector’s, despite his insistence that he was wearing gloves when he picked it up. Kristine’s DNA was found on the blade.

The public had been screaming “GUILTY!” ever since the phone recordings were released. Now, they roared.

Michael Hauer was arrested on April 29th and charged with the murder of Kristine Ververs.

It was a shocking turn of events. Technically speaking, there was still no proof that a murder had taken place: there was no body, nor any sign that one existed. And just as there was no evidence of Kristine Ververs leaving the apartment that fateful March 16th, there was no evidence of Michael Hauer leaving the apartment that night either, especially with something as cumbersome as a human corpse.

The twitter hashtag found its home in newspaper headlines: Where’s the Body, Michael?

In the penthouse of the Avengers Tower, Tony rubbed his forehead. “This is such a fucking mess.”

They were gathered once again in the living room, watching as the newscaster recapped the last month and a half, breaking news that was already known. Kristine’s picture, with her downcast cerulean eyes and her frizzy red curls, flashed across the screen once more.

Tony sighed. “He just seemed so normal. I never would have thought—”

“You think he did it?” asked Steve.

“Well, he did something,” Tony snapped. “Clearly. He’s got a history of violence, her blood’s all over the floor—”

“No one’s debating that he did something,” interjected Bruce. “But if he killed her, what happened to the body? He never left the apartment that night, and there’s no evidence that a cadaver was ever stored there”

“He’s smart! That’s why we hired him, he’s a freaking genius! He probably thought of something—”

“Thought of what?” the doctor asked, throwing up his hands. “Teleportation? How the hell did he get the body out?”

“He didn’t.”

The group turned around to find Loki lurking in the back, studying them carefully from the shadows.

Bruce was the first to find his voice. “What?”

“He didn’t remove the body, because there was no body to remove,” he said deliberately.

“But, Loki,” Thor said uncertainly. “Weren’t you convinced Hauer was a killer from the start?”

“I never said he was a killer. I said he was a filthy weasel,” Loki said. “And he is, clearly. He's a slimy, abusive, manipulative, wretch of a man, but he's not a killer—although he likely believes himself to be."

Tony frowned. "What are you talking about, Loki?"

"He cannot be labeled a killer if his victim survived his attempt on her life. Which she did,” Loki paused a moment to let his statement sink in. “Despite Michael Hauer's best efforts, Kristine Ververs is very much alive.

#loki x ofc #loki marvel #loki fanfic #avengers fanfic #crimson curls #cozy writes

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pixieposts · 4 years

Text

Febuwhump Day 20

AO3

Today’s prompt was: “Betrayal” but I couldn’t think of anything so here’s “Truth Serum”. I did go with a spell VS a literal serum, and I’m not 100 percent sure how much I actually like it now... but oh well, here it is!

TWs:

None unless you count Caleb Widogast Levels of Self-hatred.

It started, as so many of his problems did, with a spell. The unknown scroll, written in barely decipherable undercommon , had held his attention from the moment Veth pulled it off the body of the Drow. He had been forced to wait hours to finally try it out, stepping away from the others when they stopped for lunch.

Honestly, he ended up disappointed. He had only been able to translate about half of the notes, and upon testing out the verbal and somatic portions on himself... he didn’t feel any different. He sighed, he would have to look it over again tonight in the tower. Maybe he could show Essek when they returned to the Xhorhouse...

“Ready to go man?” Beau called from where the others were waiting.

“Ja, on my way”

He walked over and made his way towards the cart they had procured from Dr Waccoh . He had to admit, he rather missed the Moorbounders , but this made carrying back the supplies much easier. As he reached the cart, he was stopped by a large green hand on his arm. He turned and smiled at Fjord, raising an eyebrow in question.

“Saw you were caught up with your books, so I grabbed you some lunch” He held out a sandwich wrapped in cloth.

“Danke Fjord, you are always so thoughtful, truly it is a wonderful trait” He took the sandwich, lightly squeezing the hand on his arm and climbed into the cart before realizing what he had said. It was true of course, but he didn’t make a habit of telling Fjord what he thought of him. That way lies madness. He felt his face heat up when he looked up to see Fjord staring at his hand uncertainly. He ate the sandwich slowly as they rode, trying to sort out just how awkward things would be when they stopped for the night. Fjord didn’t seem any different than normal as Caleb watched him over the top of his book, joking with Beau and keeping watch with Caduceus. Well, that was good he supposed, he would hate for Fjord to be uncomfortable around him.

Wait, he would?

Well, of course he would, but that didn’t bear thinking about.

“You’ve been super quiet today Cay-leb, what are you reading?”

He tried not to jump as Jester plopped down next to him, snapping the book closed automatically.

“Oh- I uh, I was just re-reading the history text we found last time we were at the bookstore” he shrugged “it would probably bore you”

Jester hummed non- committally and settled in next to him, pulling out her sketchbook.

“Are you like, totally sure you’re okay though? You haven’t talked to anyone in hours!”

“I am not as much of a chatterbox as others in our little group” he teased, elbowing her lightly “I have just been distracted”

“By your book?”

“Nein, by Fjord” he paused, distracted by the half-orc in question “and that spell I found, I cannot figure out why it didn’t work earlier”

“Wait wait, you’re distracted by Fjord?”

“And my new spell I-” he clapped his hands over his mouth, suddenly realizing what he had just said.

“Caleb! Do you have a crush on Fjord?” Jester, thankfully, was whispering now, lavender eyes wide.

“I- I-” he held his hands over his own mouth again and stared in horror at Jester until she furrowed her brow at him

“Wait, are you okay? You definitely look like you’re going to puke”

He shook his head vigorously, releasing his own face to grab the scroll from his coat. He laid it out and scanned it, feeling the tension build in his chest.

“ Beauregard ? Come here please?”

Beauregard walked up to the edge of the cart, hopping in as it moved like it was nothing.

“ ’Sup man?”

“This word here, what does it look like to you?”

She moved to sit on his other side and squinted down at the scroll.

“Looks like... κρύ βω? Wait... actually-” she reached over and scrubbed at the parchment with her thumb, dislodging a smudge of dirt “there was a- it looks like α ληθής now, why?”

“Scheisse”

She looked at him with an expression of dawning understanding and horror that matched his.

“Dude, what did you do?”

“I- I ah...” he swallowed “I think we need to stop for the night now”

It didn’t take long for them to find a spot to hide the carts, he worked methodically setting up his alarm and the tower. His head was spinning but he tried his best to stay calm. Before he knew it, they were settled around the large table in the dining room and the others were all staring at him. He explained what he had done, the words falling from his lips as though compelled, unable to hide a single mistake.

“What do you mean you just tested it out on yourself?! What if it had been something dangerous Caleb?” Beauregard sounded both worried and incredibly pissed off.

“This seems pretty dangerous to me” Yasha mumbled into her mug.

“ Well I- I certainly was not about to test it out on any of you, and I was fairly certain I knew what it did...” he trailed off, looking down as he felt his cheeks heat “I would never have tested it on anyone else so I- it was the only option”

“Why not wait and test it on an enemy Cay?” Fjord’s voice was patient as Beau grumbled behind him

“I- I just thought it would be better to try it out and then know for sure what it did before we were in battle”

“But what if you’d gotten hurt? We wouldn’t even know what happened”

“I do not think my safety is worth possibly missing out on something that could help us”

Fjord opened his mouth as if to respond, but after a moment he shut it again, shaking his head sadly. The others stayed quiet, passing thoughtful looks back and forth before Veth broke the silence.

“So... what does it do?” Veth asked, eyeing the scroll as if it might bite “what did you think it did?”

“I- well I thought it was some kind of invisibility spell, some way to hide, or help with stealth?” he tapped the word that Beauregarde had uncovered “it ah- it appears I was wrong; this word was obscured. I thought it was the undercommon for “to-hide” but it... well, it is the word for “truth” instead so” he sighed, dropping his head into his hands.

How had he been so stupid? It was such a novice mistake to make, he was supposed to be better than that.

There was silence around the table for a moment before Jester spoke up.

“ So like... does that mean you can’t lie at all or?”

“I am not sure... I need to go over it again to see what it says in the context of-”

“What’s your favourite colour?”

“Amber”

“Do you actually like having a beard or do you just not want to shave?”

“I lost my razor”

He glared at Jester as the others yelled various versions of “stop” at her. Jester shrugged and rolled her eyes.

“I was just trying to see if he could lie! Did you want to answer, or did you have to?”

“I certainly did not want to, I do not like sharing information about myself Jester, you know that”

He gripped his mouth again, glaring at her even as he felt his ears grow warm, but she just nodded and waved over at him triumphantly.

“There, question answered! Caleb can totally not lie at all” her expression softened “I guess we probably shouldn’t ask you anything else huh?”

“I would prefer that, yes” he ground out, muffled by his hands.

All through dinner the others tried not to direct questions at him, but despite their efforts he still ended up sharing more than he would have liked. Finally, he stood and made his way to his room, bottom lip firmly gripped between his teeth. This was awful, it was just more proof of his own hubris. He felt like a complete idiot for letting something like this happen. He spread the scroll out on the coffee table in his room and went back to work, thoroughly cleaning the damned thing first.

An hour into his new translation, there was a knock on his door, he sighed.

“Eintreten”

The door opened without a sound, and then closed a moment later.

“Hey Cay, just wanted to check in since... y’know , it was a rough one”

He felt the familiar thrill down his spine as Fjord spoke, not looking up for fear that even his expressions would be forcibly unguarded .

“Ja, you could say that I suppose”

“I figured... well, I thought you might like some company”

Caleb watched out of the corner of his eye as Fjord settled himself on the couch Caleb was sitting in front of. Gods how much he wanted to lean back against Fjords legs.

“Sure, I always enjoy spending time with you”

He blushed, damn it. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud ... he had let his guard down again .

“I ah- I have discovered that there is a time limit on the spell, so I will be free of it by morning” he raced to fill the quiet, trying to wash over what he had just said.

He felt Fjord shift slightly behind him before a warm hand settled on his shoulder.

“We don’t have to talk Caleb, it’s alright, I don’t want you to feel like you have to say anything you don’t want to”

“Why are you so nice to me?”

Caleb bit his tongue and glared at the scroll, stupid gods damned awful spell. He was going to copy it out and then burn the damned scroll to ash. All it had done was make him act like the idiot he really was. Stupid bloody loose-tongued-

“That’s a strange question” Fjords other hand came to rest on his other shoulder, both thumbs making little circles at the base of his neck “I’m nice to you because I like you, thought that was obvious”

Caleb shook his head, fighting not to lean into the touch.

“I do not deserve-”

“Well now, how about you let me decide how I want to treat you hm? I like you, and I try to be nice to the people I like, I say you do deserve it”

“Fjord” he groaned, Fjord didn’t understand “you know what I have done, the horrors I have committed”

“Mhmm , I surely do” the circles turned to long strokes along the back of his shoulders “and I’ve told you before, you’re a good man with a tough past. That kid isn’t you anymore”

Caleb let his eyes close as he finally gave in, leaning into Fjord entirely.

“A mess is what I am, a walking, talking disaster”

“Yeah well, we all are, it’s why we get along so well”

“I think you could get along with anyone, you are amazing”

Fjord hummed, pausing his shoulder rub to tuck a strand of Caleb’s hair back. Caleb knew he must be blushing by now, but if everything else about him was going to be over-honest, his complexion might as well. They sat that way for a while, Fjord working some of the tightness out of Caleb’s shoulders while Caleb reveled in the way it quieted his mind.

“That feels wonderful” he sounded breathless, even to his own ears “truly Fjord”

Fjord chuckled “anytime, your poor shoulders feel like you could use it”

“Hmm... perhaps they could, but you know I will never ask”

“Stubborn bastard”

“That’s me, stubborn and squishy”

“I like that about you”

“That I am squishy?”

“No, you brat, that you’re stubborn” Fjord’s voice was fond “it’s gotten us out of more than a few scrapes”

One hand slid up to rub at the sides of Caleb’s neck, just below his hairline, and he had to bite his lip to stop the groan that wanted to slip out. When was the last time anyone had touched him kindly like this? He really didn’t deserve it; he was a horrible person. Fjord was too good for him by half, too kind and caring for someone like Caleb.

“Relax Cay, I’ve got you”

“I do not deserve you”

“You let me be the judge of that, now relax and tell me about this spell”

To his own surprise, he did. The remainder of the night was spent with Caleb talking about any spell Fjord asked about. It was a safe subject, as he very rarely felt a need to lie about his magic... and never to Fjord. Fjord for his part made sure to avoid any questions that weren’t directly related to spells, his hands never stilling. Eventually, Fjord had to head back to his own room, both of them wiped after a long day. Caleb stood and stretched, amazed at how relaxed his shoulders felt, and walked Fjord to the door. They stood for a moment, just looking at each other as Caleb tried to figure out how to thank Fjord without giving too much away. It turned out that he hadn’t needed to worry. Fjord stepped into Calebs space, a hand coming to rest on his hip.

“There’s something we’re going to need to talk about tomorrow, once you have control over your words again”

“O-oh?”

“Mhmm , it’s been on my mind a while, and after hearing what you said to Jester today well... I think you might be amenable”

Caleb’s heart was pounding as Fjord leaned in and pressed his lips to Caleb’s in a gentle kiss. Caleb gripped the front of his shirt, pushing up onto his toes to kiss back. When Fjord pulled away, there was a soft smile playing across his mouth.

“Tomorrow, sound good?”

“It sounds perfect”

#febuwhump2021 #febuwhumpday20 #widofjord #truth spells #always practice safe casting

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gayenerd · 4 years

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This is a 2017 interview done by a fan for the fansite, Green Day Authority. It’s super disjointed and fan interviews never ask tough questions, but eh.

Recently, we asked Green Day's management if it would be possible to get an exclusive interview for GDA, our first ever. After some coordination, it was agreed that I could interview them in Omaha (a show I had already planned to attend). I found out on Wednesday afternoon that I would be interviewing them on Saturday, but fortunately, I had already been preparing a list of questions in case it worked out. Before I go any further, I'll tell you that I had a LOT more questions on my list than there was time for. So, if you're wondering why I didn't ask something in particular, it's probably because we ran out of time. That is the only thing I would change about my whole experience if I had the opportunity. The arrangement was that one of the tour managers would meet me at the back entrance of the arena before sound check. After going through two layers of security, that's exactly what happened. I was the only non-crew person in sound check (!) and it simply felt surreal to be in that position. I enjoyed it greatly but was, of course, also thinking about how the upcoming interview would go. I wanted to represent GDA and the fan community in a way that would not leave a bad impression while also getting some good discussion from the guys. After sound check, I was walked back to a room with a couch and a few chairs. I was able to get comfortable and had some help to set up my recording equipment — thanks again to Lauren Banjo and Daniel, my son, for helping me get exactly the right device for recording the interview. In just a few minutes, in walked Billie, Mike and Tre. I have to say that, in all the times I've seen them, they have never looked better. They seemed relaxed, happy, and bursting with good health. They all sat down, and we got started. Aside from running out of time (though, to be honest, it would have taken hours to work through all my questions), I'm reasonably pleased with the way it all turned out. The guys were so incredibly nice and seemed to be totally engaged in the moment we were all sharing together. They really thought about their answers and seemed to enjoy the discussion. Here's the first installment of the interview — we talked about music, touring, and special shows. I did you all a favor and removed a lot of my rambling when I was asking the questions. Enjoy! "J'net: Guys, you work so hard, and we see how hard you work. During shows, you give so much of your emotion, yourselves, and your life energy to what you do. What keeps you going and keeps you so passionate about what you're doing? Mike: You said it, 'passion.' We only know how to do this one way — give 100%. It's just driven into us, I guess. Tre: It's the way we're wired. Mike: The music moves us the same way with the energy from the crowd. Billie: I agree. We love what we do. I think there've even been times when I thought, 'Maybe I'll take it easy tonight,' and then as soon as you hit the stage, it's just 'All systems go!' It's just a natural response for me. Really no other way to explain it. Mike: I always think, 'I don't know if I'll always be able to give what 100% is today, but I'll always give 100% of what I have to offer.' I don't think these engines know how to run any differently. J'net: Well, it's awesome. Your fans appreciate it so much. I wish you guys could just sometimes sit out in line, y'know? We get in line as early as we can and we compare notes ... "Well, we're driving from Kansas City as soon as the show's over..." Mike: You guys should film some of that. We never get to see it, it's cool! Film some of that interaction and maybe post some of that stuff too, it's rad! Billie & Tre: Yeah! J'net: [thinks to self: challenge accepted!] I'd be glad to do that, yeah. I mean, everybody would, even the people who know how to do that [technical stuff] … like Billie, he's pretty good with all the Facebook Lives and Instagram. Billie: Yeah, I'm getting pretty awesome — Billie Joe Zuckerberg! J'net: Right … 'Now where's the off button?...' Billie: Thank God for two young sons, man! They can tell you everything. Mike: I have to call my wife [laughs]. My wife's still young, she knows how to do that shit! J'net: Music is an emotional experience, and some of your songs are so emotional. Do you ever feel overcome by the emotion when you're performing, or are you somehow in performance mode so you can rise above it? Billie: I definitely go there. Like that line 'I'm like a son that was raised without a father,' — that's a button-pusher for me. Also with Forever Now, and also lately with playing '21 Guns' acoustic … when I get emotional is when I hear people singing along — when I hear voices that loud. I think with Green Day, we create an atmosphere that's as close to a European crowd that you can get — with people singing along, almost like a soccer anthem. And I love seeing people who are normally self-conscious when they lose it. I try to push people to just lose it when they come to our shows. Some nights, people are so pent up with energy, they don't even know that they have inside them. And I try to get people to dance like no one's watching and sing like no one's listening — just go for it! J'net: Do you have favorite show moments that you like to think back on? Billie: Smashing my guitar against the Subaru just the other night was pretty fun. [laughs] That's a first. I've never done that before. Mike: There are favorite moments of each show. We go backstage after the show, and we talk about all the rad things that happened. Billie: There's so many different things that we see going on in the crowd. There was a guy that was like an ex-hippie that was in the house the other night, I think in Portland. He was in the back, and I could see him just dancing and singing all night long. He was probably about the same age as my brother — about 65, and it was fun to just watch him. That's the kind of stuff I like to remember. " Watch for the next installment of the interview! We’ll also be sharing more of the audio from our favorite moments.

The second part of our interview focuses on the band's latest movie project, 'Turn It Around: The Story of East Bay Punk.' They helped produce it with filmmaker and longtime friend, Corbett Redford. The day after the Omaha show, my son Daniel and I started the drive back home to Tulsa, but stopped in Kansas City to see the movie. We went to a great independent theater there, Screenland at Tapcade, and when it was time for the movie to start, we settled ourselves in for a fascinating evening. There's so much to absorb in this movie, but it's compelling all the way through. There is a great deal of history that is lovingly captured and discussed. We feel we need to see it again and again, so It's good to know that a deal is in the works to distribute for home viewing, and that, according to Corbett Redford, "the DVD, Blu-Ray is being worked on, designed, mastered and readied for manufacturing." So many people were interviewed for this movie that I couldn't possibly list them all. The interviews were often just as interesting, funny, or emotional as the vintage footage of events from the beginnings of East Bay punk. It was a touching movie with many emotional moments (at least for us). Two or three of the people who were interviewed in the movie came close to tears as they were talking about the past and their connection to the famed 924 Gilman Street. For Green Day fans, as well as fans of many of the other bands involved in those early days of East Bay punk, there is rare and wonderful vintage footage that really gives a feel for what those early days were like. The writing by Corbett Redford and Anthony Marchitiello is exceptionally fine — it tells a story that could have been overwhelmingly complex in an articulate, accessible, and moving way. The narration by Iggy Pop, the animations (credited to Tim Armstrong, J. Bonner, and Alex Koll), the cinematography and photographic direction by Greg Schneider, and the hand lettering (credited to Aaron Cometbus) are simply delightful and absolutely enrich the content of the movie. I loved the way some of the newer interview footage had a "distressed" look to be more compatible with the footage it was matched with in the film. As Corbett said when I mentioned this to him, "The distressed VHS happened as our crew filmed EVERY interview with an old VHS camera! So that wasn't an effect, it was real! We decided as a crew that VHS and black and white Xerox were going to be our two main go-to 'themes' - so Greg went and bought a VHS camera, and voila!" There were obviously a lot of eyes on this film making sure that every little detail was as perfect as could be. There's no question in my mind that it was made with hearts full of love. Here's part two of our interview: "J'net: 'Turn it Around' is getting such incredible response from most reviewers and many in the punk community. Do you feel more acceptance coming from the community than you may have felt previously? Is there a partial 'return from 86'? Mike: The spirit of the movie is that it was made by the people in the community, and if you took Green Day out of it, it's still an unbelievable documentary. We basically stepped aside and let the movie get made the way it should be made. We realized that should be the anchor — the beginning, that's the beginning. [We wanted] for people to understand the different ingredients it took to make where we are and … to make the beginning… Billie: For us, when I was talking to Corbett, it was — 'Let's do a documentary that could inspire the next generation to create their own scene and not just talk about how you had to be there.' Because almost every scene documentary I've ever seen has a 'glory days' thing about it, where, with this one, you see the people like Michelle Gonzalez, who's a teacher and an author, and Miranda July, who’s a filmmaker and artist, and there are people who are activists, still playing music and active in the community. We approached it like, 'Let's not turn this into a piss and vinegar fest.' Billie: And if it wasn't for Tim Yohannon, even though we had big differences in the past, we wouldn't have had a place to play because he, with other people, created and made Gilman Street happen - and that I'm super grateful for. So if there's a story that you watch out for, it's what Tim Yohannon has done for the bay area scene and globally also. J'net: And Corbett did a great job realizing the vision of the movie. Mike: Corbett kind of did the impossible. You talk about a bunch of people in the scene — you know everybody's in that scene because we're all latchkey kids and come from some fucked up background, right? So then you have to get all the bands to agree to put their music on it this many years later. We had no doubt that he's an incredibly intelligent person and an artful person, but he fuckin' did it. Tre: He's always been super resourceful, and it's kind of like now he's all grown up. Mike: All we had to do was talk him off the ledge a couple times. I mean, we'd go in his office, and it looked like 'A Beautiful Mind.' There's writing everywhere and he's like (Mike demonstrates hyperventilating). It started off he didn't have a beard, and then he turned into Father Time. J'net: Did the fact that he's so well-respected in the community and such a genuine person help him to get buy-in from the people who participated? Mike: And the other people he recruited, like Kamala Parks and Anthony (Marchitiello) and Eggplant and Tim Armstrong, are highly respected and helping to make this thing. And it's like, 'Wait a minute, this isn't like a Warner Brothers movie. This is people who were actually in the scene making it.' And when they would vouch for him, it became even more helpful." We're pretty sure we spotted a cameo of Mr. Redford himself, but I won't put a spoiler here by hinting where to watch for him! For the same reason, I'm not going to tell you details of my favorite parts of the movie. When the opportunity arises, you should pick out your own favorites, and next time we're sitting in line for a Green Day show, we can compare notes. Bottom line, whether you watch the movie because you're interested in the captivating history of East Bay punk or because you want to see how Green Day got their start or both, you aren't likely to be disappointed. The movie is great entertainment but also left me inspired to be the best I can be at whatever I choose to do. The passion that went into the scene way back then, and into the making of the movie itself, left its mark on me. I hope you'll find that it leaves you feeling the same way.

In part two, we talked to the band about the early days at Gilman Street and the new movie, 'Turn it Around: The Story of East Bay Punk.' "J’net: From there, Green Day has come so far. What were you dreaming about back then, have you achieved it, and do you have any dreams you haven’t realized yet — things you still want to do? Tre: Pizza! J’net: Really? You haven’t had pizza yet? [Everyone laughs — these guys are SO polite!] Mike: Back then it was like, 'Can we get a show? Can we get into Gilman?' That’s a goal. It’s always like a series of goals – like 'Let’s get a tour.' 'Oh my gosh, what would it be like to play that one club there?' Maybe it’s a different town — or Europe! 'Let’s go to Europe and tour Europe!' There’s always another thing to be done. We just like to keep it exciting. Even live — even live, if we feel it's not exciting and not eventful or we're just going through the motions, we'll do something to change that because we like to stay in the moment, too. Life should be exciting. J’net: [to Tre] When you gave the drumsticks to that little kid last night (in Kansas City) … Mike: I did that. But Tre does every night anyway. One of us will always do it." Backstory: In Kansas City, there was a little girl on her dad’s shoulders throughout much of the show, although security tried multiple times to get him to put her down. At one point, Mike’s bass tech came into the security pit and leaned through to hand her a set of drumsticks. "Mike: She was hitting right on the beat with them on her dad’s shoulders! A lot of people know this, but every night Tre hides a pair of drumsticks under a seat. J’net: Do you always know if somebody finds them? Tre: Well, I put a hashtag on them and sometimes they'll go and put a picture with #TreCoolsHiddenSticks if they found them. J'net: I would just want to know — if no one posted, did they get found? I would have to go back and see if they're still there. [laughs] Tre: Somebody will find them. I'll tape them under the seats. Mike: Eventually. Someone will find them — like at an Usher show. [laughs] J'net: Or a hockey game. [Laughter] J’net: I got to go to the Hall of Fame Induction and the House of Blues show. What a show! I was beating up on the people next to me, because every time something else exciting happened I was [grabbing people and shaking them], "Oh my God! Oh my God!" That was incredible. I want to ask how that felt, but I’m sure you all thought it felt incredible. But could you ever have dreamed that you would be there? And what gave you the idea to come out as Sweet Children, and have Tim [Armstrong of Rancid] come out and sing with y’all and … to celebrate it in that way? Billie: I think it was all about 'bringing it all back home,' to quote Bob Dylan. It was like, 'Let’s make this as fun as possible.' Just have a great time and do everything you can … there’s so much tension with a lot of bands that have gone in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame that you literally can’t get them to be on the same stage at the same time. And someone will stay home. And for us, it was the opposite of that. I’d rather seize the moment to remember how we got there. You start off when you’re a kid in a band, and it’s the most exciting thing in the world. And it’s so important to inspire people to understand that it IS the most exciting thing in the world. J’net: Do y’all listen to any kind of music that you think would surprise people to know that you liked it? Mike: All kinds of music. I just like good songs. I don’t care if it’s country — or the other night Tre went out to a jazz club, and then Jason and I went out to the same jazz club after they’d left — the same jazz club, and we didn’t even know they went. And we saw an unbelievable band there in Kansas City. Tre: I like German AND Italian opera. J’net: Do you really? Seriously? Tre: [Laughs] J’net: Oh ... but THAT would have surprised people. Tre: No … just the German. [laughs] J’net: Well, I’m the Italian fan, myself. Tre: It’s all Greek to me! Greek music. Billie: I’m kind of an audiophile. I like to go deep with finding obscure power-pop bands... Tre: Billie makes the best playlists. And he’s the best DJ. Billie: I just read this book called Never a Dull Moment ['Never a Dull Moment: 1971 The Year That Rock Exploded,' by David Hepworth] and it’s all about the music that happened in 1971, so I put together a playlist of all [that music]. I like getting into to doing my own … which is funny, because everybody's doing playlists and putting them on Spotify and stuff like that, and I do playlists and share them with my friends. Mike: She's got to hook you up with about a million more friends to share it with. [Laughter] Mike: Yeah, when we hit the playlist side of things, he’s ready. Billie: Yeah, and it’s all kinds of different stuff, whether it's like Joni Mitchell and Linda Ronstadt, to like ... Foghat and T-Rex. It’s fun to listen to. Especially back then, there was a certain amount of — people were uninhibited. If you listen to Marvin Gaye singing 'What’s Going On?,' there’s nothing self-conscious about songs like that and what was going on back then. I think nowadays, music is so much more visual or something. Some of the stuff from the past is just inspiring. J’net: And you have lots of influences, I can hear them in your music. There are little bits that sound like country and little bits that sound like different genres. Did you get that from your family, or was it all around you, or what? Billie: Well, it was all around me with my family — and I think when I was a kid I just always wanted to be the one to listen to something different. So, when kids were listening to Kool and the Gang’s 'Celebration,' I was listening to AC/DC and Van Halen, or trying to be the first in my high school to discover punk rock, and alternative stuff, too. Nobody in Rodeo had a clue who the Replacements and Hüsker Dü was. I was like the only punk kid in my high school. And John Swett [High School] was ... 400 people, 350 at the most. Mike: Is that what it was? I thought it was a little more than that. That’s still a lot of people, though, when you think about it. Billie: Yeah, there's 80 people in that graduating class. Mike: And then there was this one kid in that high school [who was punk]. Billie: And half of them actually graduated. [Laughs]"

This is the fourth and final installment of our interview with Green Day. In part three, we talked to the band about their past goals, and the musical roots of each of the guys. I have also included some things that were not part of the interview itself, or our recording. At the beginning of the transcription below, I knew our time was running out — and during the recording, we were packing up. I was throwing on my “Still Breathing” shirt, as I call it, for my photo with the band. But I just kept talking and asking questions the whole time to make the most of every second. "J’net: So, I have one more quick question, and this is just my own personal thing that I’ve always wondered — when Mike sang the second half of 'American Eulogy,' did you [Billie] write it with that in mind, did it just happen, I mean … was it something personal to Mike, because the way [Mike] sang it and kind of spit those lyrics out, it sounds like it’s very … something [deciding to stop rambling on with this never ending question and let someone answer] … Billie: I mean, I just wrote it and asked him if he wanted to sing it. [laughs] Mike: I think you need to sing to what the lyrics are calling for. I tend to sing ... like a little girl sometimes. [laughs] J’net: Not in THAT song. Mike: Yeah, but I was conscious that, 'This song isn't for singing like a little girl.' Or if it is, it's a little girl with attitude. Billie: If you think about 'Outsider' by the Ramones, and how DeeDee sang the bridge to it, it just kind of makes more sense. It just kind of comes from the band. And what else? 'I Was There' – Mike sang the bridge on that. J'net: Yeah. Well, you [Mike] sing that 'American Eulogy' like it was written just for you. Just made me wonder … Mike: [Hamming it up] Why, thank you! A friend of mine wrote that just for me! … 'Hey Billie, I got an idea! We can go ahead and take five.' J'net: So, I'm getting a sense that it's time for you [Tre] to have your pizza that you've never had before. Any last things you guys want to say to the readers of Green Day Authority? Mike: Just that we appreciate them and that they should be good to each other and look out for one another online and offline. But, we appreciate the hell out of them, cause that's our community. They're fuckin' rad. We'll see [them] on tour. Billie: I think for me as a musician, it's always important to be a fan first. Because I'm obviously a big fan of the people I like to listen to and stuff like that. So with that said, [we're] like-minded and kindred-spirits. Tre: In the words of the wild stallions, 'Be excellent to each other!'" Thus ended the interview proper, though there was more conversation, as I asked the guys to take a quick photo with me (the first time I've ever asked for a photo with any of them ... the wait was so worth it given how the photo turned out). Then, touring sound engineer and photographer Chris Dugan reminded me that I had a t-shirt to show the band. It was from Jack Yates, Omaha-based editor extraordinaire for GDA, who has been taking all my scribblings and making them look beautiful on the site. His vintage shirt was from Green Day's first tour — the band had screen printed it by hand back in the day. He thought they might like to see it, and maybe even sign it for him (which they graciously did). Tre sarcastically joked that it was really only six months old. Mike laughed, and said he still has the original screen print stencil for that shirt. While the guys were signing Jack's shirt, I was throwing on my "Still Breathing" shirt, which you can see in the photo. The guys loved, it which prompted me to tell them that it's from the Woody Guthrie Museum in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where I'm from. Mike excitedly told me that his wife's family and Billie's whole family were also from Oklahoma. This prompted Billie to tell a story, which really delighted me. The backstory is that he began to tell this tale at the Tulsa Green Day show back in March, but didn't make it all the way to the brilliant ending. We'd talked about this during the car trip there, and Billie just spontaneously answered our question! "Billie: Yeah, my mom's from Sperry, Oklahoma. Oh, we went — this is a funny story. When we were there, I was trying to find where my mom's house was — it was like, I think, about 15 minutes outside of Tulsa. And we went into a high school, and all the people would talk about was like native burial grounds and stuff like that. So we're just looking for this one in particular. So we went into Sperry High School and talked to the administrators, and I come out and all of a sudden it was like, it clicked [snaps fingers], they were like, 'Oh my God, he's here!' and they run out and one goes, 'You're either … Bruno Mars … or the guy in Green Day!' [Laughter] Billie: 'Bruno! Bruno! Bruno Joe!' Tre: [Laughs] 'Bruno Joe.' Billie: And then they sent me all these hats, because they're the Pirates, so I got all these cool pirate hats." Now, as they were still signing Jack's shirt, and I was still "primping" for my first ever Green Day photo, we had this hilarious conversation: "J'net: Do y'all know about all the mis-heard lyrics in your songs? Billie: Mis-heard? Mike: Misinterpreted, you mean? J'net: No, like people hear them and they think you're saying something else! Tre: Oh, that's funny! J'net: Like, 'Gotta know the enemy … raw ham.' Billie: Raw ham? [Hilarity ensues] Tre: Raw ham. J'net: And, 'Somebody take my pants, I think they're falling off … into a state of regression.' Mike: [Singing] 'Somebody take my pants, I think they're falling off, into a state of regression.' [Laughing] Billie: That's amazing. That's a good one. J'net: And then, my son one day and said to me he hears, [singing ... YES, I sang in front of Green Day!] 'Dump truck! Color me stupid!' Billie: Oh, dump truck! [laughs] J'net: British people hear, 'I wore cologne, I wore cologne' [in 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams']. Billie: Oh, wow … J'net: And in 'Welcome to Paradise' — 'Pay attention to the cracked streets and the broken gnomes.' Tre: Scary. Scary. [Laughs] Billie: Nice. I've heard that one before. I think I've seen a meme. J'net: I just wondered if … because when a new song comes out, before the lyrics are published, we're all trying to figure out, "What are they saying? What are they saying?" Billie: Next time we're just going to write them out different. They'll be like just totally different lyrics. Tre: We'll do fucked up lyrics! J'net: Oh yeah, right. That would be great. Tre: We'll get like six-year-olds to say what they think the lyrics are, and then we'll have that be the lyrics. J'net: That would be great! Or me, because my hearing is shot from so many Green Day shows!" This was where our recording ended. At some point during the discussion that continued un-recorded, I told the guys that this (the Omaha show) might be my last show for a while. I said, "A dear friend of mine has a ticket for me to the Rose Bowl show, but I don't know if I'll be able to afford to get there, so this could be it for a while." After that, we prepared to take the photo, which Chris Dugan (the band's sound guy and photographer) kindly offered to take for us — so it wasn't a selfie, after all! Mike suggested that I sit in the chair, and they'd all stand around me. Of course, I can't even express how sweet this was. Then, because I'd been talking to superfan Fran Green in line that day, I said, "Do you know that girl Fran with long brown hair who's always right in the corner of the barricade?" (I motioned with my hands to show where Fran usually stands). And here's how I remember that conversation going: "Billie: Oh, I know her, she's great! She always wants to get up and sing or something, but I really like her energy right there in the corner. Mike: Which one is she? Billie: She has a lip piercing. Mike: Oh yeah! [smiling] J'net: Well, today is her 50th show! Billie: Her 50th really? J'net: Yes, and she's travelling from the 1st through the 27th and not staying in any hotels — just sleeping on the street or in the car. Billie and Mike: WOW. Tre: Sounds like somebody needs a shower!" Finally, my time with Green Day was coming to an end. I thanked them all, and they walked out. Then, as I was about to leave the room, Tre came back with his wife Sara and introduced me to her. She is just as gorgeous and sweet as her online personality seems. We chatted for a few minutes. I told her we love her because of how happy she makes 'this guy' — I point at Tre. To say both their faces were beaming would be a terrible understatement. Just looking at how happy they are together made my heart melt. As they were leaving, Tre stuck his head back in the room and said, "See you at the Rose Bowl." So now, I guess I'll have to find a way to make it to the Rose Bowl. Hope to see you all there! After all this, I was walked out on to the arena floor and asked to choose my spot. I was just dumfounded with the entire barrier to choose from … don't we all wish that could somehow happen at every show?!?! Later, after everyone came in, I couldn't see Fran in her usual spot, and I was just so disappointed, because I thought … knowing the band, they would probably do something special for her if she'd been there. Well, Billie managed to find her on the catwalk, wished her happy 50th and then started singing "Happy Birthday" to her! Hahaha! Tre also gave her an autographed drum head the next night in St. Louis, and I see that she got on stage before her tour was over. The guys are just the sweetest and love their fans so much!

#i did like billie's story about being mistaken for bruno mars lmao #also mike's line about how young his wife is.....#not as funny as you think it is man #yikes #article #interview #articles #green day

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nopperabounet · 4 years

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FT 095 - Sakurai Atsushi Interview

Fish Tank 95 Interview with Sakurai Atsushi Reporter: Okubo Yuka Translation: Lola

How did you spend New Year's?

I didn't do anything in January, so I honestly can't say much about it.

Really? In that case I'd like to go back and talk about "THE DAY IN QUESTION 2019". So on the first day, you played in a new venue in Takasaki.

It felt rather special you know, to have our first show be in Gunma as it's also our home turf.

How did you find starting the set list off with "Muma - The Nightmare"?

It felt like a powerful way to start. No matter which song it is, or how many times we've played it, I try to make each part compelling to listen to by having a clear image during rehearsals, and I think that came through.

Including the two winter themed songs, "Snow white" and "SILENT NIGHT" made for an impressive performance.

It seems like Yuuta and Hide were in agreement about that. Like if we're going to do a segment with two winter songs, then these two feel right for that. I think they left an impression on everyone involved. Back in the day, I would sing with the guitar for "SILENT NIGHT", but now because I have the ear monitor, I can adjust the sound the way I like so I wondered what it would be like if I sang with the rhythm parts. It worked out because I didn't really mind it.

As for "Datenshi", it was also your first time performing it live even though you had already recorded it. How did the audience react to hearing it for the first time live?

Even though we've played the song and heard it a number of times by then, the audience knew absolutely nothing about it. So I think it's a little hard to say, I mean they only heard it once. But I did wonder what sort of impression it gave everyone.

You also changed the set list up a little bit for each venue.

The idea came while rehearsing for the first show in Takasaki, I thought if we're rehearsing them anyway, why not perform them all, this way we can do our utmost to ensure that each show has a different feeling.

Were there any incidents during the tour?

No, it ended without any incidents . . . . . . Well ok, there were a couple of little hiccups. Like my surprise at the intro that sounded like NIN [1].

Oh, are you referring to the "LOVE ME" performance at Yoyogi?

Yes. I was taken aback. Like what? Is this really how the song goes? *smiles*

Did you end up double-checking reflexively?

I thought something happened because of where I was on stage, so I wanted to verify.

It was also your first time performing at Yoyogi Stadium, how did you find being on stage there?

The people who are high up and in the last rows are terribly far away as I expected. But at least the audience can watch the show on the huge screens. It's just that there's really absolutely nothing I can do about it, they felt too far away. I told them I was sorry they were so far. There wasn't even anyone directly in front of me to soothe my heart[2] even though both sides of the venue were filled right to the back. It felt a little strange.

Were you nervous?

Even though I'm doing this with others, I do have to concentrate on drawing the performance from myself, and that's not something that changes even if the venue does.

One thing that was different on that day from the others was that there was a camera above the stage during "Saibougu Dori: Soramimi: PHANTOM".

As always we had Hayashi-san as our Director, and as he always does, he came up with a few ideas on how to change things up for us. So he said, "What do you think of having a camera above the stage?" And we said, "Sounds great, let's try it out." I thought it was funny because that was all decided without us knowing that it would be live streamed on (WOWOW).

I know "LOVE ME" isn't exactly meant as a happy song originally but, I thought it was incredible, it had that great rousing feeling like a grand finale. It was moving.

That was the point of choosing this song, I thought it might give that feeling. And I was thinking that if it's the absolute last song, then it might make everyone happy, including Yuuta *smiles*.

Yuuta-san?

He hadn't picked it as the last song, but it was his song choice. We've ended shows with it before as well, and you know, once in a while I think it's good to do that.

Before the super rousing "LOVE ME" performance, you said, "Let's love ourselves." These are impressive words, so what were you thinking about to make you say that?

When you translate it directly, it's "Watashi wo aishite"[3], but I think it's important to love yourself first. This even ties into what's coming in the new album, so it's been on my mind a lot recently. But it's not like I had arranged to say that or even talked about saying something like that, it was really just me letting out my personal thoughts in the moment. I wasn't trying to sound super serious or anything, but I was trying to say that nothing will start if you don't take care of yourself first. I figured it would work with this song.

Hearing you say that, and considering what you told me about writing the lyrics for "Datenshi" in the previous issue, I thought you might like to talk about it a little more.

Thank you for that. Last year, lots of people came to our concerts, and so the year felt incredibly complete. It was just that I had a lot of stuff going on in my personal life, like my friend passed away, then I was hospitalized again, and the balance between my mind and body had seemed to once again deteriorate so it was a very off year for me.

So have you turned over a new leaf with this new year? Or do you feel like your struggles are still ongoing?

It is something that I am actively working on, but at least I can put my feelings into work in this way, and use that energy to create something. So I'm not just bottling everything, and so with the new year I've slowly come to be more at ease with myself thanks to those around me.

I'm so glad. Right now you're in the midst of recording, and you've been putting in the vocals for Hoshino-san's songs right?

Yes. Our little ant has been hard at work as always *smiles*.

So you've been working with the ant and the grasshopper?

Actually, I haven't had a chance to see the grasshopper recently. Because we never hang out *smiles*. Recently I heard that for the grasshopper it feels like New Year's only just ended.

He told me he has five songs ready.

Really? Good, he's serving his purpose well enough for now then.

How do you feel about being done with the lyrics for both of Hoshino's songs?

I finished up with the second song today. It feels like I'm just getting by, doing things one step at a time.

It's good to have a range in what you're able to say in songs, but what sort of feeling do you think the songs may have when they're done?

I'd say the one I recorded today has that swing beat pattern like festival drums. Like heave-ho! Heave-ho![4] *smiles*

That's . . . . . .hard for me to imagine so what sort of lyrics did you write for that?

Fruitless ones[5].

Do they tie in with what you put out before with "Datenshi" and "Luna Park"?

I think I can sum up my position in "Datenshi" by saying I was confronting my own feelings. It's a dark song, so it moves away from that festive direction. It's that depressed feeling of being unable to guess a person's feelings completely. So it's like, ok from now on, I will strip away the mask I wore to protect myself.

Did working on the lyrics for the other two songs go relatively smoothly?

I always worry you know. I change them right up till the very day I'm going to record the vocals for them because there's no way for me to know if they're ok. I have to check them over myself. So I worry but, I've been trying to tell myself it's better if I just do what I like.

I still can't really get a full picture of what the album will be like but, how do you think it will turn out to be?

You know I'm not sure, I'll know more once I've heard more of Imai-san's songs.

According to Imai-san, the album's theme will be a word with seven characters. So that means he must have a precise image in mind.

That's his hint?

That's his hint. *smiles*

I haven't had a chance to see the grasshopper lately so I don't know. If we hadn't announced it in Yoyogi . . . . . .I wonder whether or not he'd get anything done by autumn. *smiles*

I hope his progress goes well *smiles*

I hope so too.

You will also be starting a tour in May.

If our old bodies don't give out on us before then. But I want to get through this so we can do it.

Do you feel like you have a lot of emotions you'd like to express with your lyrics?

Yes. From the first listen it was like, "Ah yes, this song will be like this." I knew right away what I wanted them to be about. So now I want to hurry up and sing them.

Lastly, would you please offer a message to everyone looking forward to the tour in May[6].

To all the fan club and mobile members, it's a domestic tour as you know but we're hoping to give it a slightly different feeling than a typical hall tour because we'd like the audience to feel closer. I don't really know if it will work out, but I do hope we can do the concerts. Also, I wanted to thank everyone for wearing things like masks during this difficult time.

_______________________________________________

[1] I am assuming that NIN stands for Nine Inch Nails.

[2] I had a little bit of trouble here. The word used in Japanese is 'スコーン' can mean the Urdu word 'sukoon'. Sukoon refers to a state of calm in the mind and peace in the heart. Thus I translated it as 'to soothe my heart'. However, the katakana used can also be translated as 'scone'. In which case Sakurai would be saying that there wasn't even anyone in front of him with a scone. That sounded off to me, but I'm including it in a note just in case that is what was meant.

[3] Sakurai translated "LOVE ME" into Japanese here.

[4] He specifically uses the sounds cried out during festivals for the drummers, and the "Heave- ho!" is what is usually cried out by those carrying the portable shrine.

[5] The word used, "不毛" has several different meanings. Without knowing the exact lyrics it is difficult for me to judge which English word would fit best. Thus I chose "fruitless" as it had the broadest range. Other possible meanings include: barren, sterile, stark, bleak, desolate, vain.

[6] Sadly this tour has been postponed due to the Covid-19 virus for everyone's safety.

#buck tick #buck-tick #sakurai atsushi

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scrunchie-face · 4 years

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My ranking of TS8 based on absolutely nothing but my personal opinion

From least to most favorite:

peace: this is the only song on the album i really don’t like. her accent/cadence sounds a little affected to me and there aren’t any lyrics or musical moments that really resonate.

invisible string: i feel like i might get some pushback on this since so many people seemed to LOVE this one but hear me out. This one is clearly about Joe and their relationship and for me, there is not a single song about him that she has written that has been as good as “Call It What You Want” and “New Year’s Day.” Every other song she has written since then about being happily in a relationship with Joe has fallen flat for me. Also, I’m not gonna lie, the more cynical and less romantic side of me finds the whole concept of the “invisible string” to be a bit trite and saccharine. “Isn’t it just so pretty?” To me, yes, it is a pretty thought and that’s all it is.

mirrorball: this song is pretty, and reminds me very strongly of the Speak Now era, but with the complexity and maturity that she’s obviously acquired since then. That being said, to me the metaphor feels like it’s trying to go in two different directions at once and neither one quite gets there, leaving a song that feels somewhat unfinished. It’s either a very pretty love song or a darker reflection on identity, but it never feels like it commits to either.

august: this is where we really start to get into “there’s nothing really wrong with it, I just like other tracks better” territory. Lyrically, I think it’s very poignant, with its reflections on love, time, and memory. Unfortunately, I think the whole “Teenage Love Triangle” hint actually does this song a disservice by indicating that the speaker is the “other woman.” Since the bent of the other two songs (”cardigan” and “betty”) seems to indicate that those two singers/speakers are the couple that is “meant to be” it gives the poor unnamed “august” singer a bit of an uphill battle for sympathy in context. That’s not to say I don’t have any sympathy for her; I have by far the least sympathy for James. Unfortunately, James gets a catchier song (more on that when i get to “betty”). Which brings me to the real reason for this low-ish ranking: I just don’t find the song as musically compelling as most of the others on the album.

this is me trying: as I suggested in the previous paragraph, a lot of the way I rank songs personally is by how much the music resonates with me. I can forgive a lot lyrically if the way the music moves gives me goosebumps. With “this is me trying,” there are several lyrics that I love. The repeated “I have a lot of regrets about that”? PERFECTION. Musically, however, the song as a whole doesn’t really impress itself upon me, making all but the couple lyrics I really love forgettable to me.

mad woman: this song, and the two on either side of it, were ranked somewhat arbitrarily. higher than “this is me trying” for having a little more edge and a more engaging tune, lower than “hoax” because I generally prefer sadness and angst to anger. This is by far the most vindictive track on the album, and while I understand it and think it’s executed very well, the tone isn’t totally appealing to me personally.

hoax: this song, to me, has a very strong Hozier vibe that I enjoy very much. As i said in my blurb about “mad woman” I connect more emotionally with the sadness and turmoil here, hence its higher ranking. “stood on the cliffside screaming ‘give me a reason’“?! Gorgeous, and if you’ve ever felt that way, the line resonates in your bones. “the only hoax I believe in” is such a complex line that I could probably write paragraphs about it; it’s got psychological, emotional, and even religious elements to it that I think are part of what makes such a sad and personal song still feel universally relatable. It asks you, what are your hoaxes? Which ones do you believe? Is it because you want to? Because you have to? betty: ranking this song was difficult, because i find the character of James to be incredibly irritating. Unfortunately, the questionable nature of James’ behavior and attitude towards Betty and the unnamed girl is not enough to condemn the song to a lower ranking because the tune is just so catchy and fun. It’s got one of the best hooks on the album: the rhyming of “Inez” and “she says” just delights me every time. The “--most times--” caveat is amusing and very in character for a teenager trying to explain himself. And then “the worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you.” It sounds super trite, yes, but it would’ve probably gotten my forgiveness when I was seventeen. Also I love “will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?” Bold words for someone in James’ position but I love the bravado and the way it pairs with the music. The triumph here may be premature but it’s SUPER contagious. epiphany: so this one is perhaps the most arbitrarily placed because I realized when I got the the end of my list that I had forgotten it.... BUT that being said, I really like this song. It seems to be one of the more divisive on the album; people either love it or think it’s boring. I like it a lot. When we talk about big events--wars, pandemics--it’s very easy to distance ourselves from them and forget that those more affected than we are are people too. This song gently rehumanizes the people we see in books and newspapers and tv reports, reminding us that they are suffering, they are trying, and reminding them that they are seen and loved. It’s extremely beautiful and moving.

the 1: based on my previous claims that the music is my most important factor in song ranking, this one may seem unfairly high. Like with “peace” I find the accent/modulation of her voice in this song to be somewhat affected and irritating. The tune, while fun and catchy, doesn’t really have much power behind it. But I enjoy it just enough that, paired with some absolutely spot-on lyrics, this becomes a song I was deeply attached to from the first listen. Anyone who has ever had an important relationship that came to nothing will recognize the brief emotional rollercoaster of “I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn’t though,” and feel absolutely convicted by the bridge. “persist and resist the temptation to ask you/ if one thing had been different/ would everything be different today?” If you’ve lost a friend or a lover, you’ve tormented yourself with that question, I guarantee it. Even off her musical A-game, she absolutely nails the emotions here, and I love it.

my tears ricochet: this song actually started out pretty close to the bottom and slowly made its way up. Honestly, the reason for its low ranking was that I still can’t quite figure out what it means. Taylor occasionally writes songs that are very hard to tease out into any sort of linear narrative or neat metaphor; you feel them more than you understand them. And for that reason it usually takes me a little more time to get to a point where I appreciate them. The relationship here is tangled; it’s not the simple bad guy/good girl that we would’ve seen in the Speak Now era, and I would argue that at times it’s unclear which party is even the speaker. Once my analytical mind got past that hurdle, I remembered that this is one of the most musically powerful songs on the album. The bridge? GOOSE.BUMPS. The way the music builds and pounds at “just not home... in your bones.” Shivers. Even if I don’t totally understand what the song means, i can feel the conviction and emotion in the words and music and that is what makes it such a pleasure to listen to.

cardigan: this song is simply beautiful. just lovely. sad and nostalgic and hopeful and it just hits on some stuff that is absolutely true. “when you are young they assume you know nothing./ But I knew you.” I recently had a conversation with my husband about this very concept. This idea that adults look down on young people simply because they don’t have “perspective.” But the truth is that young people know something very important: what it is like to be young and to experience things AS A YOUNG PERSON. Not as an adult looking back on being young, but as a person to whom these experiences are fresh and real and important. “cardigan” takes that whole concept: the struggle between youthful experience and adult perspective, and absolutely NAILS IT. Add in a touch of the sentiments from “the 1″: “i knew you’d haunt all of my what ifs.... i knew i’d curse you for the longest time,” and combine it with a melody that rises and falls and slows down and speeds up and you just have this gorgeous tribute to youth and life and love.

illicit affairs: i love this song so so much. I’ve never been in an “illicit affair,” but the regret and the confusion and the attachment and the love and the hate and the feeling of being trapped are all so raw and visceral that even if you’ve never felt anything like this before in your life you can feel it now. Underneath the fairly simple melody of “don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby,” you can hear the screaming anger and heartbreak. “look at this idiotic fool that you made me!” Gah. I can’t even. It’s just so real. So there. This is a song that you both understand AND feel and it’s so powerful it’s almost overwhelming. Taylor and her killer bridges absolutely ending me every time.

the last great american dynasty: this song is so fun. The story is funny and sad except the indomitable Rebecca doesn’t for a moment let you feel sorry for her. As soon as you see her pacing the rocks looking out over the ocean--a wistful, often angst-ridden position--the song turns right around and informs you that she stole a neighbor’s dog and dyed it green. And then, “and then it was bought by me.” The story has been so definitively about someone ELSE this time until suddenly SURPRISE! The twist at the end is delightful; every story we tell, every story we love, we tell it and love it because it’s about us too. And like i said, there is a quiet undercurrent of sadness and loneliness that never becomes the focal point of the song but is there giving it depth and something more to think about that facts and funny anecdotes. This song is a unique one in Taylor’s discography, and it stands up very well to that status.

exile: is my love for this song partially colored by the fact that Justin Vernon’s voice makes me swoon? Probably. The duet between him and Taylor is hair-raisingly beautiful and heartachingly melancholy. But that aside, I think the thing that first caught my attention was Taylor’s verse. The “staring honey/understudy/knuckles bloody” rhyme drives me absolutely WILD. It’s SO GOOD. It flows perfectly and poetically and honestly i transcend my body and scream with delight into the ether at those three lines every time. That is not an exaggeration. Also, “I’m not your problem anymore, so who am I offending now?” And of course the juxtaposition between “never gave a warning sign (i gave so many signs)” is this perfect description of how, to quote another, much older, lyric “miscommunication leads to fallout.” This song reminds me very much of “Story of Us.” In case you couldn’t tell from previous comments, this whole album, for me, recalls Speak Now, very strongly in many ways. I see her revisiting a lot of similar themes and stories with a more mature perspective and a different sound. Red as well, actually, but I digress.

seven: i knew from very early on that this would be my favorite song on the album. Taylor’s voice goes places I have NEVER heard before, evoking something elemental and primal. “Before I learned civility/ I used to scream ferociously/ any time I wanted.” Her forays into actual childhood in her songwriting are periodic but relatively rare, and this is unquestionably the best of the lot. Here we see children, almost too young to remember exactly what happened, but marked forever by their experiences of nature and relationships. “I can’t recall your face/ I’ve still got love for you.” This song evokes all the things that dance around the edge of your memory: faces from long ago, the feeling of flying, the fear of falling, the irresistible impulse to plant yourself on the ground and fling your existence out into the world with your voice. The need to feel safe. The references to a friend’s troubled home life are oblique: “your dad is always mad... you won’t have to cry or hide in the closet,” and the solutions are childlike: “come live with me...and be pirates,” “move to India forever.” The song is an immersive experience, charged with feelings you can’t quite express, but that you know and remember, although they are perhaps faded a bit around the edges.

#taylor swift #folklore #ts8 #phew that was way more than i intended it to be #glad i did it tho

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jungle321jungle · 5 years

Text

Play Your Cards Right

With a strange group such as theirs on a vacation in Las Vegas of all places Virgil could practically list everything that could go wrong.

His boyfriend marrying his roommate was not on that list.

~~~~

A group vacation was something that Virgil could get behind. And while he most certainly would have preferred a more relaxing location, he supposed Vegas wasn’t too bad an idea. He himself wasn’t a particularly big gambler or anything, but he didn’t mind wasting a bit of cash on reckless fun. In any case he knew Roman enjoyed the games (when supervised to avoid blowing all their money) and unfortunately making Roman happy was one of Virgil’s few weaknesses. Another was making Patton happy.

So when Patton had suggested bringing his boyfriend whom Virgil had never bet before, Virgil could only look at that face and give in. Virgil just silently hoped that he would get a chance to meet and interrogate this “Logan” during some point of the trip.

Also on this wild ten day ride was Dee. A man who declared as they boarded the plane that he would be bitter the whole trip because Remus had fallen sick the day before the flight and left him as the ‘fifth wheel’. Personally Virgil found the declaration stupid, since even if Remus had come Dee couldn’t stand him for longer than a hour at a time.

With a strange group such as theirs on a vacation in Las Vegas of all places Virgil could practically list everything that could go wrong.

His boyfriend marrying his roommate was not on that list.

Virgil took a deep breath as he tried to process the duo’s confession. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up straighter in his bed before he looked at all the people gathered in his room.

“You both got drunk, joked about getting married, and then got married?” He asked slowly.

“We’re sorry- I’m sorry,” Roman nodded sheepishly while Patton sat beside him looking like a kicked puppy.

“Super sorry.”

“I still don’t know why I need to be here,” Dee mingled from where he leaned against the door.

Virgil gave a sigh, he needed more time to think. “Did you tell Logan yet Patt?”

Patton shook his head, “No, he went to the gym so we came here first.”

Virgil slowly climbed out of bed, “Let’s go see if he’s back.”

“Virgil,” Roman started cautiously but Virgil shook his head.

“I don’t have a real response for you guys right now. I get it’s a drunken mistake but...” Virgil swallowed his eyes shifting to his suitcase before he shook his head as he slipped some shoes on. “Let’s just go talk to Logan.”

Logan wasn’t back yet.

But they all sat and waited. Or well they sat, Virgil paced hoping to expel all nervous energy and anger as he did. He had never even had a proper conversation with Logan. He met him at the airport the day before, and it had been very simple polite conversation since. Virgil couldn’t even remember the man’s last name and now this was the conversation they were gonna have.

Logan arrived a few minutes later and his sudden appearance caused Virgil to stop in his pacing. Despite not having met Logan until the day before, Patton had showed Virgil many pictures of Logan and none had done the taller man justice (he wasn’t Roman or anything, but Patton certainly had good taste).

Virgil wasn’t entirely sure what it was about Logan which gave off an air of coolness and sophistication, but he appreciated it. He also didn’t mind the sight of Logan in tight workout clothes, but while Logan’s appearance was appreciated it was ultimately irrelevant in this situation.

Logan didn’t interrupt as Patton explained what had gone down the night before, his expression didn’t even change. Rather when Patton finished all he did was nod and ask what was to happen next.

A question to which no one had an answer.

“The two of them can get the honeymoon discount,” Dee suggested to lighten the mood, but his attempt at humor wasn’t appreciated. Seeing the faces of everyone else he rolled his eyes, “Fine. How about Logan and Virgil get married? Then you’re all even.”

“And please tell me how that would remedy any situation Damien,” Logan responded crossing his arms.

“It could, right V?”

Virgil shrugged in response, “I am a petty and spiteful person. I wouldn’t mind. Logan?”

Logan didn’t seem amused, “I’ll pass... but I would like to speak to you more Virgil. If that’s okay?”

“I guess?”

~~~~

For wanting to speak to him, Logan didn’t have much to say.

They had both showered and dressed before getting out of the hotel to wander within walking distance, but despite having left the hotel ten minutes ago not one word had been spoken.

But then again it’s not like Virgil had anything he really wanted to say either.

“I’m sorry,” Logan apologized suddenly. “I simply needed to get some air away from them and I figured Patton would be less against it I brought someone with me... and quite frankly I don’t want to be around him or Roman right now. And well, I don’t get along with Damien.”

Virgil nodded as he put his hands in his pockets, “I get it. This isn’t how I wanted to start our vacation either.” There was a short pause before Virgil chose to continue to speak rather than fester in the silence. “How are you feeling about this situation?”

“I think they need to find how to get this marriage annulled immediately. If not it will also cause issues for their futures.”

Virgil stopped walking and turned to fully face the other man, “I asked you how you felt.”

Logan stopped considering him for a moment before he sighed and removed his glasses. “It hurts me more than I’d like to admit. And your thoughts?”

Virgil only nodded in agreement as they continued in their aimless walk. “The rest of this trip will be awkward.”

“Agreed.”

~~~~

Roman was in his room when Virgil got back.

Virgil frowned at his miserable look, “Stop looking at me like that. And why aren’t you dressed? We agreed to go sightseeing today.”

Roman’s eyes widened in surprise, “You're not mad?”

“I’m mad. But I’d be even madder if all the money I spent on this trip got wasted.”

Roman’s face broke into a smile as hurried to pull Virgil into a close hug, “I’ll make up to you promise.”

Virgil resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he patted Roman’s back. “You better keep your promises Prince.”

Roman only smiled wider, “You know I do Storm.”

~~~~

Sightseeing was brutally normal.

So normal in fact that Virgil could almost forget what he had learned earlier or well he could, if it wasn’t for the ring on Roman’s finger.

Virgil still wasn’t sure where the rings had come from (apparently neither of the newlyweds knew either), but apparently Roman’s was too small and would not come off no after what he tried. Thankfully it wasn’t cutting off his circulation or anything, but Virgil didn’t exactly like seeing him wear it.

Especially as it matched Patton’s. While Patton’s ring did fit him and he could remove it, being the overly kind person that he was he continued to wear it so Roman wouldn’t feel bad alone. It was a quality Virgil usually appreciated in his friend, but seeing the two childhood friends walk and laugh together, the rings glinting in the hot sun as they did?

It made Virgil more upset than he would ever admit.

He trailed behind as Patton led their way to their next stop and quite frankly he wasn’t paying enough attention to what said stop was until they were in an elevator to the roof and he was already regretting coming along.

He felt as Roman’s hand slipped into his before there was a soft whisper in his here, “You alright?”

Virgil took a deep breath and nodded. He wasn’t going to ruin everyone else’s time.

Roman stuck by Virgil’s side at first until Patton asked for a picture with him. One picture had turned to two, to three, to a full blown photo shoot complete with Dee shouting directions and the two striking poses. It was childish, stupid, but their laughter was infectious. So much so that other tourists up on the rooftop had joined in, and that Virgil found himself moving closer to them. Closer to the roof’s edge.

But none of it registered until someone bumped into him. Virgil mumbled an apology before he looked back to his boyfriend and roommate- but all he could see was the world below him... and how far up they were.

A lump formed in his throat as he quickly backpedalled a step or two he found himself stumbling into someone else. Any form of apology refused to leave his throat his eyes were glued to the world below them.

He felt a hand close around his arm before he was being pulled away.

The hand released him as they neared the elevators and Virgil saw as Logan stepped in front of him, blocking his view. Virgil took a deep breath, “T-thank you.”

“Thank you,” Logan nodded.

Virgil looked up at him confused, “For what?”

“For coming up here. You clearly are terrified of heights, and yet you are here right now to make others happy. So thank you.”

Virgil averted his eyes, “So we’re even I guess?”

“We are.”

~~~~

The next evening they hit the casino, and perhaps it was the fact that Roman had gambled away too much money in past which compelled Virgil to walk around the casino floor and check in on everyone.

Thankfully Roman wasn’t alone and rather he was with Dee playing some game Virgil didn’t know the rules of. Patton had found a spot at the slots which he hadn’t moved from, and Logan was... somewhere.

It took some time but he finally found the man playing blackjack. And judging by the impressive looking stacks of chips beside him, he was doing well.

Logan glanced up as Noticed Virgil standing beside him. “You ever play?”

When Virgil shook his head Logan gave a shrug and put his focus back on the game before him. It was fascinating to watch, Virgil didn’t know all of the rules but there was something entertaining about watching everyone else at the table grow more and more frustrated at Logan’s unchanging face. Apparently the others agreed because at some point they took up post with Virgil to watch Logan.

When Logan finally decided to cash out and leave he had made himself a few hundred dollars, which he had promptly promised Patton that he’d spend on something “romantic.''

If only Roman could win him money rather than lose it.

“How are you so good good at blackjack?” Dee asked when they piled in the elevator.

Logan said nothing until the doors closed so they were alone, “I count cards.”

Virgil hid a smile, “So you cheated?”

Logan gave a shrug as the doors dinged open on their floor, “I prefer to call it... playing to my strengths.”

“I need Logan to teach me how to count cards,” Roman commented flopping on their bed.

“You’d need to learn how to count first,” Virgil replied.

“You’re hilarious... can you win me some money?”

“I can try to win myself money.”

“But we’re a couple.”

“And you’re a married man.”

The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them, and he regretted it the moment they did. Not because he didn’t mean them, but because he saw as Roman cringed with guilt at his words.

“I’m sorry Virgil.”

His words were quiet and soft which showed how much he meant it, and Virgil hated how guilty it made him feel for bringing it up.

“It’s fine,” Virgil sighed. “I’m gonna change.”

He moved to step away from the bed but Roman’s hand grabbed his shirt as he moved. “Don’t.”

“It’s fine Roman. I just wanna put on pajamas.”

When Roman didn’t let go and rather pulled him more Virgil sighed and sat down on the bed beside him. The two locked eyes not a word spoken as Roman say himself up and then pulled Virgil into a hug.

He whispered words of promises and apologies which Virgil immediately dismissed. As lips touched his own he tried not to focus on the cool metal around Roman’s finger touching his cheek. Nothing had truly changed, Roman was his and Patton, Logan, not even Dee could change that.

So why did something feel so wrong?

~~~~

Days had passed and Virgil still was unsure about the lingering feeling which had invaded him. It came and went- no it was always there, but it liked to make itself known when Roman or Patton was around. It seemed to enjoy sneaking up on him the most. Revealing himself when he least expected it, be it when they shared a meal or when he woke up beside Roman to find that ring around his finger.

It made itself known even when he was with Dee who enjoyed joking about the situation. The only time it seemed to vanish completely, was when he was alone with Logan.

“Are you ready?”

Virgil glanced up from where he stared at the stuffed animals around them, “Are you done?”

Logan lifted the Build-A-Bear box with one hand. “I am.”

Virgil nodded and moved to leave the store, “Why did I come with you again? And why did you buy Patton a bear?”

“Its a dog actually, and as for why he’s a fan of thoughtful gifts. And I figured he’d appreciate a present which I had picked out completely and recorded a message for as opposed to an expensive bracelet.”

Virgil couldn’t argue with that, “He’d be scared that it would fall off or something.”

“Exactly.”

“So what did you record it to say?”

Logan reached into the box and pressed on the toy and after a short pause it spoke in his voice,

“I love you Patton.”

“Well that was boring.”

Logan looked at him in surprise, “What did you expect?”

Virgil rolled his eyes and started walking to where they had left the rental car, “So why am I here exactly?”

Logan’s long strides allowed him to easily catch up. “Well you looked as if you wanted to get away from the other three. So I thought it would be best to ask you to accompany me to buy this.”

Virgil nodded slowly, surprised that this man whom he had known for less than a week and already figured this much about him. “Well uh... thanks, I guess.”

“Well, anything you want while we’re here in the mall?”

Virgil gave a shrug, “Can we get some food?”

“Are you alright?” Logan asked when they both sat down in the food court. “It seems as if there’s something you’d like to say.”

Virgil gave a sigh repeatedly dipped a French fry in sauce purely for something to do. “Am I that easy to read?”

Logan didn’t answer the question, “You don’t have to speak to me if you don’t want to. I understand we don’t know each other at all.”

“I was planning to propose to Roman on this trip,” Virgil stated.

At Logan’s surprised look he shoved fries in his mouth trying to ignore the way his heart hurt and the box in his pocket seemed to burn against his leg.

“Are you not going to anymore?” Logan asked slowly.

“I still want to,” Virgil answered quickly. “But after everything things just feel... different. And I can’t figure out why. I just look at him and Patton, or him and that stupid ring and I just- just...”

“So jealousy is holding you back then?”

Virgil stared at him for a few moments before he spoke, “I’m not jealous.”

Logan gave him a look which screamed something the lines of, “Oh so you’re jealous and stupid,” but he changed the subject. “So, what are your plans for this proposal? If I’m allowed to ask.”

“One thing the both of us love are sweets. Figured I’d take us to dinner, hit a sweet shop and then while he’s distracted ask him.”

“You’re going to wait until he’s distracted?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna get someone to record it so I can forever have how confused and flustered he gets with a mouthful of cake and a ring in his hand.”

“Can you picture something for me?”

“...Sure?”

“Then close your eyes.”

Virgil resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead closed them as he was asked.

“Now, picture that night going exactly as you plan... got it?” When Virgil nodded he continued. “Now picture Patton in your place.”

Virgil opened his eyes to give Logan a glare, “Why am I doing this?”

Logan nodded seemingly satisfied, “You are jealous.”

“I am-”

“It’s okay to be,” Logan interrupted. “To be fair I’m jealous of Roman. But I can’t exactly replace the role of the childhood friend and now husband can I?” He chuckled to himself and Virgil watched as he took off his glasses and cleaned them with nervous energy- Or was that anger? “I’m also jealous of you,” Logan continued quietly. “That you're strong enough to ignore all this in favor of showing Roman how much you truly love him. I wish I had that quality, but unfortunately I am the jealous type.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow in surprise, “You?”

Logan put his glasses back on and looked Virgil in the eye in a way which made Virgil unsure if he intrigued or uncomfortable. “I’m told I get... possessive.”

“This whole thing must suck for you then,” Virgil commented looking back to his food.

Logan didn’t reply.

~~~~

“Ya know when you said you had a great idea that would make me loosen up and then forcibly dragged me from the room I figured that whatever your idea was, it would be stupid.”

“And?”

“I’m sorry for doubting you Roman. This hot tub is perfect.”

He felt as Roman lightly kicked his leg under the water, “I love you too. How was shopping with Logan? Have you decided if you like him enough to allow Patton to date him?”

Virgil hid a cringe as he thought back to the earlier conversation, “It was fine. And... I guess I approve. He makes Patton happy after all.”

“I could’ve told you that before this trip.”

“Shut up.”

“I finally have approval?” Patton’s voice came and Virgil forced himself to open his eyes to see as Patton sunk himself into the hot tub, his glasses fogging up as they did.

“I can put them on the table,” Logan suggested coming into view.

Shit. If Virgil thought Logan was attractive on a regular basis he wasn’t exactly sure what was the right word to describe him when he was shirtless. Since when were nerds this hot?

“Came to join us?” Roman asked as Patton handed his boyfriend his glasses.

Patton nodded, “Dee too. He’s in the pool, he said he wants to get into the hot tub last.”

“Getting into a hot tub first before going into a pool can give the heart a healthy shock,” Logan commented sliding in the small hot tub beside Patton. “Some athletes actually use it as a technique.”

“Why would people intentionally want to feel like they’re going to freeze?” Virgil asked him.

Roman shrugged, “Why do people do anything?”

“Oh Roman I had an idea,” Patton put in. “We should go see that magic show!”

“You mean the guy we were watching on YouTube?”

“Yes! I saw a flyer in the lobby!”

Roman’s eyes lit up immediately, “Hell yes let's do it! Wait, do we have enough money for them?”

“Logan can win us some!”

Logan raised an eyebrow, “I did not agree to this. I also did not say I wanted to go to a magic show.”

The two deflated immediately.

“Sorry,” Patton apologized. “I was thinking for myself and not everyone.”

Virgil watched as Logan closed his eyes for a moment before he spoke again, “I didn’t say I wouldn’t go. I just appreciate a say in things. But yes, if necessary I can attempt to make us enough for tickets, no promises though.”

As Patton and Roman resumed talking about the tricks in whatever video they had seen Logan quietly stood from the hot tub, and Virgil didn’t get why at first until he watched them a few moments more and the feeling was there once more.

He stood up from to the hot tub- unnoticed by the two best friends- and walked towards the pool trying to ignore the slight anger in chest. He paused by the pools edge before jumping in.

The water was cold. Freezing. No he was hot and the water fine.

Whatever it is the feeling wasn’t pleasant but even so Virgil forced himself to below the surface as long as he could before he came up for air.

When he did found Logan not far from him.

“You’re right,” he muttered to the taller man. “I’m jealous.”

Logan nodded in response his wet hair flopping in an adorable way as he did so, “Okay.”

“That’s all you’re going to say?”

Logan’s eyes focused on him as he gave an amused smirk, and Virgil hated the way it seemed to make his heart skip a beat. “Is there something else to be said?”

Virgil shook his head quickly as if to hide his stupid blush.

“I’m gonna swim around a bit,” he said simply. “Warm up.”

“Feel free. I'm going to stay here and watch as you do.”

Virgil wanted to ask what he meant by “watch” but instead he dunked his head beneath the water.

What right did he have to be jealous of Roman and Patton when he was crushing on Logan?

And yet he wanted to propose?

He could almost hear laughter the thought.

Roman should say no.

~~~~

The magician show was a few nights later.

And it was entertaining to say the least. Unlike Roman, Patton, and Dee apparently, Virgil had no clue who this magician was going in and after sitting through half the show he still couldn’t remember the magicians name.

The tricks were cool enough, but they weren’t exactly “magical” or “mystifying” due to the presence of Logan beside him.

Due to the last minute booking they had managed to get five seats thankfully but with three in one row and two in the a few rows behind. Naturally as Logan and Virgil were the less interested ones they had opted for the worse seats- which weren’t that bad in all honesty. But because of his seat next Logan Virgil found himself distracted from the awe of the performance, not by Logan’s looks, but by his words.

As if Logan wasn’t considered a nerd before it seemed his biggest joy of the show was to whisper to Virgil theories on how the tricks were really done. Of course Virgil knew nothing on what Logan was talking about but his ideas seemed solid enough, and simply listening to man’s mind work was just as entertaining as the rest of the show.

As intermission came Logan left to use the bathroom and Roman came to join Virgil.

“Miss me yet?”

Virgil rolled his eyes, “You guys look like you’re enjoying yourself.”

“Of course! Did you see what he did?”

“I do have eyes Roman.”

“Shut up, I’m serious I wanna know how he does his magic.”

Virgil opened his mouth to rattle off something that Logan had said, but he decided against it. Roman looked too excited to ruin it for him. “So it’s as good as you were expecting?”

“Definitely... it also makes me want to go to more shows. You think Logan can win us some tickets?”

Virgil shrugged, “Even if he could, I’d feel bad.”

“You’re too good of a person.”

“Why do you make that sound like a bad thing?”

Logan came back not long before intermission ended. He sat in his seat for a moment or two before he held out a Snickers toward Virgil. “For you.”

Virgil looked at it skeptically, “Why are you giving me this?”

“Do you not want it?”

Virgil took the candy, “I didn’t say that. Just wondering why.”

Logan gave him a shrug, “I went to get Patton some Twizzlers at the snack bar and saw it thought you’d like it. You do like Snickers right?”

Virgil stares at the candy in his hands silently hoping his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt. “I do, um thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“But can I ask,” Virgil started slowly as he kept his attention on opening the wrapper. “Well um... of all candies, why Snickers?”

There was a short pause which caused Virgil’s eyes to steal a glance at Logan, who seemed caught off guard and a bit embarrassed by the question. His expression almost felt like a victory.

“I don’t know?” He confessed finally. “It made sense in the moment. And... you snicker?”

Virgil couldn’t hold back a laugh but as the lights went down he forced himself to take a bite of the candy to silence himself.

The second act continued as the first did with tricks being done and Logan speculating quietly, so Virgil wasn’t entirely sure why this time sitting with Logan was so much better than show.

~~~~

“Virgil!”

Virgil turned around at the sound of his name surprised to see Patton following him.

“Are you headed to get coffee?” Patton asked when he caught up. “‘Cause I’ll join ya! ...I can’t believe we’re leaving tomorrow night. This trip went by so fast.”

Virgil nodded, “I really don’t want to get back to the normal routine.”

“Virgil can I ask you something?” The request came suddenly when Virgil was in mid thought on their walk back, but he nodded to his friend regardless.

“Sure.”

“Are you mad at me?”

Virgil paused taking in Patton’s kind yet worried expression and the way his fingers tapped nervously against the cup in his hand. “No,” he said finally. “Why would you think that?”

Patton gave a slight shrug, “Well the Roman thing... I’ve been meaning to ask you for days if you were okay Kiddo, but I got a bit scared.”

Virgil gave a sigh, “I’m mad at the situation, not you or Roman.”

I’m jealous though. Jealous of how perfect the two of you look together. Why had Patton even introduced him to Roman in the first place? The two were better off on their own.

“Really?”

“Really.”

Patton gave a sigh of relief, “That’s good to hear.”

“I’m also mad at that stupid ring stuck on Roman’s finger.”

“I thought he said he came close to getting it off?”

“He didn’t. Honestly he might need to get it cut off.”

Patton gave a visible cringe, “That sounds painful.”

“The ring Patt, not his finger.”

“Still.”

Virgil gave a shrug as they lapses into silence, unsaid words burning in his throat. He took a sip of his coffee but the feeling didn’t go away.

“Can I be honest with you about something?” He asked slowly.

“‘Course Kiddo!”

“Well um, I don’t really know how to say this... I...”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Patton assured him.

His kindness only made things harder.

“You have a right to know, it’s about Logan.” Virgil took a deep breath, “I um... I like him. Like to the point I’ve developed an unhealthy crush on him and I feel super bad about it, but you need to know.”

Patton’s eyes watched him for a moment before he shrugged, “Logan told me the same thing.

Virgil wasn’t sure if those words were supposed to make him feel better or worse. “Are you mad?”

Patton shook his head with a smile. It was a tell that showed he knew more than he left on, but Virgil didn’t push quite frankly he was done with the topic already.

“Did you tell Roman yet?” Patton asked.

Virgil shook his head his mind going to the ring in his pocket, “I’m going to though.”

“Then everything’s good, oh but you might want to talk to Logan too.”

Virgil nodded mutely in reply.

~~~~

Virgil had planned to talk to Logan alone as soon as possible before he spoke to Roman. But unfortunately he wasn’t able to get the man alone until the last minute. As he approached Logan all he could do was hope the conversation would go well, and that Roman would take a long time getting ready.

“Did you need something Virgil?” Logan asked.

He was standing outside the hotel lobby, and Virgil backed up at the phone in his hand. “Oh, were you on the phone?”

“Just hung up.”

“Oh, well can I-”

“You look very good tonight.”

“Uh, thanks.”

“Heading out to pop the question?” He asked with a slight smile on his face.

Virgil nodded, “Yes, but I wanted to talk to you about something first.”

Logan didn’t say anything at first, and Virgil could feel as his eyes ran him over as thought, “Alright.”

Virgil forced himself to take a deep breath before he spoke, averting his gaze as he did. “I don’t know you well or anything... but I’ve realized I’ve been crushing on you?” And you might be crushing on me according to Patton. “I don’t really know what to say other than that, but I needed to get that off my chest.”

Logan didn’t respond, but Virgil could feel as he moved closer- into his personal space, but Virgil didn’t dare look up at him.

Not until a hand gently pushed his chin upward so he was looking into Logan’s eyes. He moved to take a step back, but was stopped in surprise when lips touched his.

A moment passed- a moment too long- before Virgil shoved Logan away from him. “What the hell?”

Logan looked like the textbook definition of unapologetic. He gave a slight shrug, “Is there a problem?”

Virgil shook his head and gave a laugh of disbelief. He turned to go inside, but stopped short at the sight of Roman.

Roman looked nice, but Virgil didn’t have the time to admire his appearance because his face held emotions that Virgil couldn’t place.

This was it.

The end of their long relationship.

He had planned to take things to the next level, to check off a life accomplishment. But because of a stupid vacation gone wrong he was going to lose his everything.

No he couldn’t blame the vacation.

He couldn’t blame Patton, or Roman, or even Logan.

He’d brought this upon himself.

He hadn’t even realized that he was rambling apologies until Roman’s hand covered his mouth.

Virgil silenced tears of regret and worry burned at his eyes as Roman’s locked with his.

“Why?” Roman asked after a moment. “Why you Sorry? He kissed you.”

Roman’s hand lowered and Virgil had to open and close his mouth to ensure it still worked before could only force out. “I-I just... sorry.”

Roman gave a slight smile and a look which showed that he had Virgil entirely figured out. That he could tell what Virgil was thinking, and how scared he was.

Roman could tell.

But all he said was, “It’s a bit unfair that both Patton and you have kissed the hot nerd.”

Virgil wanted to shout at him not to joke, but he was too stunned by Logan’s reply.

“I’m terribly sorry for leaving you out Roman, it was never my intention,” the man smiled stepping closer. “Should I correct my mistake?”

Roman nodded before he leaned over and gave Logan a kiss. It wasn’t a deep one, but it wasn’t a peck.

But as it occurred in front of him Virgil wasn’t sure if his heart was swelling from jealousy and anger, or sadness and guilt.

He could only stare as Roman pulled back from the kiss and stepped beside Virgil. “We’re even,” Roman stated, his hand sliding into Virgil’s. “Can we head to dinner now?”

Virgil wasn’t sure how to function.

His heart and brain had both seemed to stop working as he tried to process what the actual fuck had just happened.

“Well I wouldn’t say we are even,” Logan put in. “Neither Virgil nor I have rings.”

Roman let out a laugh in response and gave a reply while Virgil stood beside him. Still unsure whether or not he was worthy of holding Roman’s hand in his.

They had a long conversation at dinner, on their walk, and getting dessert afterwards. Some of the conversation revolved around random pointless things. Other parts revolves around their friends, the trip, and what had just happened. But none of the conversation revolved around the ring in Virgil’s pocket.

They spoke with Patton and Logan when they got back.

Virgil thought there should be a limit on the amount of confusion one can experience per day.

~~~~

“We should go to Vegas!” Remus cheered.

Virgil frowned in response, “We did that last year.”

“I didn’t.”

“It’s your fault for getting sick,” Dee told him. “You let me be a fifth wheel.”

Roman rolled his eyes, “Here we again.”

“It’s not fair!” Dee continued before he took a deep breath. “I’m getting a snack.”

“Can you grab me crackers?” Patton called.

“Fine.”

“Speaking of,” Logan started. “Virgil what did you ever do with that ring?”

“What ring?” Roman asked.

Virgil held back a cringe from where he lay on the floor.

“The one he was gonna propose to you with.”

“What?” Roman shouted. “Why am I just hearing about this now?”

“Well, he came to me about a week after we got back- because that’s when he finally chose to unpack- he had found the ring and he wasn’t sure what to do with it. I told him to speak to you. I now see that conversation never happened.”

“Virgil?”

Virgil sighed as he sat up and turned to look Roman in the eye, “I was gonna propose and then everything else happened and it didn’t. I didn’t exactly know how to bring it up that night when you were rambling about how much you wanted to cuddle Patton or how you wanted an excuse to Logan’s abs. And then we got back, I got nervous and scared ‘cause it seemed weird to talk about when we were just starting a brand new relationship.”

Roman crossed his arms and his eyes watched Virgil for a few moments before he sighed and turned to Logan. “Is he missing anything?”

Logan paused, “He had planned to propose at a bakery when you had your mouth full of cake so you would be very confused and flustered.”

Roman rolled his eyes but he had a slight smile, “I’m not surprised.”

There was a pause before Roman got off the couch and pulled Virgil into a tight hug. “Where’s the ring?”

“In my top drawer in the back,” Virgil sighed. “Didn’t have the heart to get rid of it.”

Roman was out of the room in an instant and he could hear the banging about as Roman tore through the room he had cleaned the day before. All sound stopped for a moment before a shout sounded and Roman was back in the room and back squeezing the life out of Virgil.

“This must’ve cost you a fortune it’s so nice!”

Virgil shrugged best he could, but didn’t reply.

When Roman finally let him go however Virgil watched with a slight smile one his face as Roman admired the two rings on his finger. “Whoa, they even go together.”

“Well one’s a plain silver band, and the other is silver band with a diamond it would be stranger if they didn’t,” Virgil replied.

Roman was hugging him again mumbling thank yous as he did.

“He gets two and yet neither Virgil or I have one,” Logan commented. “That’s unfair.”

“What’s unfair is the fact that I’m still single!” Dee threw in.

Virgil watched as Logan gave a shrug, “We were in Vegas, and I happened to play my cards right.”

“You count cards,” Dee frowned.

“Precisely.”

#sanders sides fic #sanders sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan #patton sanders #lamp #vegas wedding #awkward flirting #awkward gays #logan is smooth and virgil doesnt know how to deal #sanders sides one shots #thingsssssssssss #jaz's oneshots

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