#and today i finally realized that and made myself the question of why do i keep telling her my stuff if the same always happens with her

[simonghostrileys]

will I ever learn to not tell my mom about my problems and feelings bc the second I do the first thing she does is undermine them and treat them as if they were less and that my sis or other people have bigger problems than me and I shouldn't be crying over mine 🙂

[starlightandfairies]

Ahhh your writing is just perfect! ❤️ I dare for another idea hehe 🫶🏼 just maybe something where you're dating but you get incredibly jealous as Katherine appears back in town and you know of their past. So you think it would be better to step back for a while but Elijah notices immediately and misses you as you not show up at any occurrence. He later finds you at the Grill, talking with the Salvatores about that topic and Elijah eavesdropped the whole conversation, finally realizing what's wrong with you and feeling bad for this to happen, as he only has eyes and feelings towards you. Then one night he invites you over to his house and tells you about his feelings and that you don't have to worry about Katherine as she's long forgotten to him and he proves that to you that night? ☺️ Ugh I love cute and fluffy Elijah !

Description: With Katherine back in town, knowing Elijah's past with Katherine brings some unwanted shades of jealousy to the reader. 

Warnings: she/her pronouns, fluff, swearing

*Requests are open, please send through as many requests as you want, check my character list and requesting rules.*

Thank you for both of your lovely requests! I hope you also enjoy this one and thank you as well for your kind words!

Key: Y/N = Your Name, L/N = Last name, POV = Point of view, F/fs = favourite flowers

Word Count: 1,279

First Person's POV 

Elijah and I currently sat in my favourite café, it was normally very quiet and once again today was one of those days. Elijah stared at me with admiration, he held my hand softly in his, rested small kisses on my knuckles and whispered words of devotion. 

"I'm just going to run to the bathroom." Elijah nodded, resting another kiss on my hand and finally let me go off to the bathroom, I did what I needed to do and finally came back out. I stopped in my tracks, seeing a brunette talking to Elijah, he looked less than impressed, he looked pissed and I could only assume what that meant. 

"Katherine." I simply stated, choosing to sit beside Elijah instead of across from him, the woman forced a smile to her lips the resting bitch look not fading from her eyes. I could feel this twinge of hurt and jealousy invading my being. Katherine took it upon herself to sit down and join us, Elijah let go of my hand and the once gentle and tender look that decorated his features was long gone. 

"What was your name again...?" 

"Y/n" I answered, hating the way she stared at Elijah, I knew of their past as Elijah had been quite open about his past relationships. Katherine nodded, shrugging and turned her attention to Elijah. I grabbed my things, kissed his cheek and pushed myself up to leave. 

"Bonnie wanted me to do something, I'll see you later." Elijah nodded, staring at me for a moment, I walked out before anything could be said and made my way to Bonnie's house. I asked Bonnie to do a spell, something that would allow me to go under the radar and not be found by Elijah considering that I would be distancing myself from the love of my life to conceal the ugly green monster. 

I had been cancelling dates, vague answers over the phone and would leave quickly with some bullshit excuse if Elijah appeared out of the blue. I could tell he could sense something was, I didn't want to mention that something was wrong and he hadn't questioned my actions. 

Elijah's POV 

Something was wrong with Y/n I couldm't place my finger on what it was, I couldn't understand what had happened and why she decided to almost disappear. I was missing her dearly, I missed seeing her smile, I missed her silly little jokes and her ability to make all my world seem so much better against all the issues going down. I missed her little rambles she would go on, the point is that I miss her and I don't know how to bring her back to me. 

I had finally been able to catch the trail and follow her around, see if I could understand what was going on and it took me to the Grill. I stood near the bar, blending into the ground and proceeded to listen in on her conversation with the Salvatore brothers. 

"I know it's silly of me but I can't help but be jealous." 

"Come on, you know that the noble fossil wouldn't cheat on you." Damon remarked, a clear roll of the eyes that made Y/n whack him lightly. 

"I being serious Damon! I know he has history with Katherine, when he was human he loved Tatia and then he found Katherine. What if her coming back brings back the feelings? I can't stand the idea of him leaving me for her and I don't want that to happen."

"Y/n have you tried speaking with Elijah? You know he'd hear you out and he'll be respectful of what you're going through." I let out a breath, I clenched my eyes shut, hating in myself for not reading the signs. If I knew sooner I would've done everything in my power to reassure Y/n that the only person my heart sings for is her. 

"He's a 1000+ year old vampire, he has more important things than dealing with my petty feelings." 

"Y/n listen here. Elijah worships the ground you walk on, he wouldn't think any less of you for worring about Katherine. We all know what Katherine is like and you have every reason to be worrying about it." Damon's response seemed to freeze her in her place. 

"Thank you..." 

Four nights later, I invited Y/n to come over, I will admit I was surprised when she agreed. We journed to my bedroom, she placed herself on the bed, fiddled with her hands and I took this as an opportunity to shut down the feelings of doubt and jealousy. 

"Y/n the other night, I overheard you speaking to the Salvatores about what's been going on..." She buried her face in her  hands, looking ashamed and worried about what I could possibly say. I sat beside her, took her hand and cupped her face in my other hand to ensure she met my eyes. 

"I understand your worries completely. I understand and I want you to know, that Katherine does not matter to me. She hasn't for 500 years. All I care about is you, no one else matters to me, just you. I love you with all my heart, I love your smile and your little jokes. I love when you leave me a note with a little picture, I worship the ground you walk on and I will go to hell back to prove that I love you as much as I do. I am awfully sorry that you haven't felt as if you could speak to me and I feel awful that this happened. But please, my love... know that I would never ever dream of breaking your heart and leaving you alone. You have my word, I promise you that I won't let the devil of a woman try and break us apart because she is long forgetten." 

She took a few breaths, Y/n moved closer to me, rested a kiss upon my forehead and took a moment before finding the courage to speak. 

"I am sorry, I'm sorry that I didn't come to you, I'm sorry I didn't allow you to know what was going on. It was fair of me to shut you out when you haven't done anything to warrent it. Please forgive me." 

"There's nothing to apologise or forgive for. My love, let me prove to you my undying and everlasting love for you." Her shy little smile brought a smile to my lips, I cupped her face in my hands, bringing her in for a kiss and listened to her hum as I brought her into my arms for an embrace, Y/n took a moment to breathe and whispers softly into my ear. 

"i love you, Elijah. I love you more than you'll ever know." 

"I love you more my love." 

First Person's POV 

Late into the night, we lay in each other's arms, Elijah and I lay naked under the blankets. My headed rest on his chest, he took my hand away lying across him and brought my hand to rest a sweet and longing kiss against my palm. The action was enough to keep my smile stuck on my lips and it was enough for me to snuggle in closer to him with my hand resting in his and his tender eyes continuing to made me feel incredibly loved and devoted to. 

[chaos-in-deepspace]

LNDS Rafayel: Questions That Keep Us Up At Night (18+)

I started writing this yesterday but then a certain SOMEONE made me brainrot over Xavier, so here we are today. My only goals today is to finish the Xavier brainrot I have and then get a request page set up. Wish me luck and enjoy the torture I put our local fish boy through. This was supposed to be another crack fic but alas here we are.

Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+. Warnings: Suggestive Questions, Non-Human Mating Suggested, Teasing Synopsis: You just needed to know the answers to some of the questions that kept you up at night. Who knew Rafayel would be so...flustered over them. Word Count: 1,597

Blog Information | Masterlist

Rafayel

Questions That Keep Us Up At Night Reader x Rafayel

“So do Lemurians lay eggs?” It had been an innocent question, one that you asked so casually you hadn’t even bothered to look up from your phone. The room was suddenly silent, the noises of chopping from earlier had disappeared and you finally looked up from your screen to see Rafayel just staring at you from the kitchen.

His face looked complex, a mixture of amusement and horror crossing it as he processed what you had just asked him. He blinked a few times before taking in a deep breath to reorient himself. He should be used to your eccentric questions at this point, hell he often asked you some pretty weird things. He just wasn’t expecting this on a Tuesday afternoon.

Rafayel finally managed to look back at you, “Oh, I didn’t realize you were so curious about Lemurians.” He was putting on an air of indifference it would seem, “Out of all the questions though, why this one? You aren’t thinking of trying to do something to me, are you?”

“Okay well first off, always thinking about that.” You began, making Rafayel choke on air for a split second, “Second off, I’m just curious. Mammals are known for giving live birth, but most aquatic life lay eggs. So where do Lemurians fit in all this?”

“If I’m not mistaken, mammals are classified as having hair or fur on them, so by those standards, Lemurians would be considered mammals, or did you forget that with your brain in the fish bowl?” Rafayel teased, a sly smirk crossing his face.

“Okay that might be true, but the lower half where the babies would pop out of is fish based. Covered in scales. Mammals don’t have scales unless you’re referring to Pangolins.” You explained to him as simply as you could.

“A pangolin?” Rafayel asked, having no clue what those were.

“Scaly anteaters.” You explained.

Rafayel was silent for a moment, “...Did you look that up just to see if mammals could have scales to prove your theory?”

“Obviously…although now that I think about it, if the bottom half is that of a fish and the top half is a mammal, would you lay eggs, hatch them, and then produce milk to feed the baby?” You said, tapping your lower lip in question.

“I’m stopping you right there…why are you asking all these questions?” Rafayel said, trying to get back to what he was doing earlier.

“These are the questions that keep me up at night, and only you can answer them for me, Raf.” You admitted. You didn’t even want to think about the multiple times you had woken up in the dead of night and laid in bed, thinking about Lemurian eggs for literal hours. 

Rafayel smirked as he leaned over the counter, “Does this mean you’ve been having thoughts of me when you’re trying to sleep?”

“I’m not trying to incriminate myself, Raf.” You said, pointing an accusing finger at him, “I’m just saying that the question about Lemurian eggs, amongst several other things, have been on my mind.”

“Other things?” Rafayel murmured just loud enough for you to hear it. He looked at you, curiosity but also hesitance crossing his features.

“Well ya, for instance I know that some aquatic creatures have two.” You said, holding up the number two with your fingers.

Rafayel sighed, looking almost pained as he wanted to clarify what you were asking, “Two of what.” He was hoping it wasn’t what he thought it was.

“Dicks, penis, cocks, levers, fun handles, joysticks.” You said, listing off both the actual names as well as some euphemisms you knew.

Rafayel once again stopped what he was doing. You watched as he put the knife down next to him. You wanted to ask him why he was stopping since he had been so deadset that he’d prepare lunch this afternoon. You had been waiting ages for the salmon salad he was making.

“Really?” He asked, gesturing to the food in front of him, “Right in front of my salad?” 

You couldn’t help but stare directly into those beautiful eyes of his, “You didn’t answer any of the questions, Raf. What are you hiding?”

“Believe it or not, I don’t actually have to answer your questions.” He said, leaning over to where you were sitting at the bar counter.

You then decided to press your luck even more, “So if Lemurians supposedly cry pearls, is their cum like pearlescent or something else entirely?” You watched as Rafayel’s cheeks took on a rosy hue and you barked out a laugh, “Oh that reaction tells me everything! So it’s not like humans!”

Rafayel groaned, covering his face with his hands and shook his head, “Why do you want to know about Lemurian…cum…I hate that I even have to ask that.” Rafayel said as he gave you a disappointed glance.

“It’s just a question, now I have more.” You said as you stood up from your stool, “Do Lemurians ever enter heats or ruts? Would Ebb Day be considered one of those because that day you were kinda…” You thought back to Ebb Day. He had looked so damn good with his scales and the slight sheen of sweat. If only he wasn’t so damn delirious that day you might’ve made a move to pursue something more with him.

“I was kinda…?” Rafayel said before stopping himself, “Wait, hold it, bite your tongue, I don’t think I want to know what’s going through that head of yours. I think we’re done with questions for the day.”

You couldn’t help the pout that went on your face, but Rafayel was looking away from you, not daring to make eye contact right now. His cheeks and ears were flush as he picked up his knife and continued cutting up salmon..

You slowly stalked over to him until you were standing right behind Rafayel. He, of course, knew you were there as he scrapped the salmon on top of the lettuce and put the dangerous object into the sink. As soon as he was cleared of any knives that he could stab you with should he break due to your insanity, you tugged on his sleeve.

Rafayel, despite his pouting, let out a sigh. He then moved a bit away from the counter and you didn’t even realize what had happened until you found your back digging into the counter of the kitchen. Rafayel had quickly spun you around and pinned you, both arms locking you in place as he gripped onto the cool marble.

You caught the confident glint in his eyes as he pulled a full 180 from earlier. His cheeks, ears, and chest were still a bit flushed, but he seemed to be in control for the moment, “If you’re that curious, I could always give you a demonstration of Lemurian mating habits.” He finally said.

You were stunned into silence, your mouth hung open and you could feel your cheeks heating up as you looked at Rafayel. Then, after the shock wore off, your entire face lit up at the prospect.

“Wait really? Oh man, I need to grab my notebook. I have so many hypotheses on things that I can’t wait to try out!” You said, placing your hands on his chest, “When are we gonna do this? Now? Later? Now?”

It was Rafayel’s turn to be shocked at your enthusiasm. He was aiming to fluster you like you had done to him; he wasn’t expecting you to want to jump his bones right now. The only thing he could utter was “You have a journal…?”

You nod your head, your hand going over to his neck where you remembered those iridescent blue scales had been. You pressed down slightly at the area and you could feel Rafayel’s pulse jump. You licked your lips at the thought of seeing them again, as well as his tail that he swore up and down he didn’t have until one day he slipped up and admitted to it.

“Of course silly, how else am I gonna know the best ways to unravel you?” You said, your head tilting to the side as you smirked.

You watched as Rafayel managed to turn into a darker shade of red, his mouth opening and closing before his eyes narrowed, “If I had known you were like this, I would’ve been more cautious about letting you into my home.”

“Not only did you let me in, but you gave me a key so I can stop by whenever.” You teased him, “Hopefully I will catch you in a compromised setting one day.”

Rafayel groaned, his hands going to your hips, placing his head over your shoulder, “You’ll be the death of me…” He murmured out before taking a deep breath, “Were you serious though, about uh…”

“Only if your offer is on the table.” You said and Rafayel chuckled, his warm breath fanning over your neck.

“It was supposed to be a joke.” He teased, “But with how excited you got I feel it would be cruel to take the offer back now.”

“It would be so cruel.” You said, your arms going around his shoulders, “Although perhaps we should move things a bit…slower. We can discuss it over lunch?” You said and Rafayel nodded.

“That sounds good.” He said, not moving from his position as he nuzzled his face into your neck “But in a few minutes. I’m comfortable right now.”

Your hand found its way into his purple locks as you gently played with them, “Sounds good to me.”

[magical-reid]

 Worth Staying For

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Setting: Post-Hogwarts, during a quiet moment at Feldcroft

Word Count: 83

Prompt: 9: “If I asked you to stay, would you?”

26: “I’ll be damned if anyone makes you feel like you aren’t worthy of being loved.”

Summary: As the golden sunset bathes Feldcroft, you stand with Sebastian Sallow, both weighed down by past pain and unresolved emotions. In a moment of vulnerability, Sebastian confesses his fear of losing you, and you assure him that, despite the struggles, you will stay by his side, ready to face whatever comes together.

The dusty golden glow of the setting sun bathed the rolling hills of Feldcroft, a quiet village that rarely felt calm these days. You stood at the edge of the Sallow property, gazing out at the horizon, a cool breeze carrying the scent of wildflowers. It would’ve been beautiful, peaceful even, had your mind not been spinning.

Behind you, footsteps crunched across the dry earth. Sebastian Sallow appeared beside you, his silhouette darker against the waning light. He didn’t speak at first—just stood there, hands shoved into his coat pockets as if unsure where to start.

You glanced at him from the corner of your eye, watching the way his jaw tensed. There was always something about Sebastian, a boy who had endured far too much pain for someone his age. You both had.

“You’re quiet today,” you finally said softly.

“Am I?” he muttered, his voice low and distant.

“Yes. It’s unlike you.”

Sebastian huffed out a laugh, though it lacked any real humor. “Even I get tired of hearing myself talk sometimes.”

You turned your head fully then, facing him as the wind tugged lightly at his dark hair. “What’s on your mind?”

He hesitated, his gaze flickering to the horizon before settling on you. “You’ve been spending a lot of time away from Feldcroft. From me.”

You blinked, taken aback by his bluntness. “I—”

“Not that I can blame you,” he cut in, shaking his head, almost like he didn’t want to hear your explanation. “Feldcroft is a dreary place. People here can be cruel. Distrustful. You don’t deserve that. You deserve better than…this.”

He gestured vaguely to the broken land surrounding you, a place scarred by both time and the lingering effects of his past mistakes.

“Sebastian,” you started, your voice firm, “that’s not why—”

“Then why do you leave?” He looked at you, really looked at you, his brown eyes full of a vulnerability he rarely let show. It made your chest ache.

“I…” You faltered. You had been away more often lately. Not because you didn’t want to be near him, but because the weight of his guilt, his self-loathing, made it hard to breathe sometimes. You hated seeing him like this, punishing himself for things he couldn’t change. For things he wasn’t to blame for.

“I know I’ve made mistakes,” he said, his voice quieter now, almost hoarse. “Merlin knows I’ll spend the rest of my life paying for them. But I’ll be damned if anyone—anyone—makes you feel like you aren’t worthy of being loved. Including me.”

The words struck you like a thunderclap, sudden and powerful.

“Sebastian—”

“No, listen to me.” He stepped closer, his face set in determination even as his hands trembled slightly. “I know you don’t believe it sometimes. That you feel like you don’t belong here, or anywhere. But you do. You belong here…with me.”

Your throat tightened, the weight of his words settling deep in your chest. For so long, you’d felt like you were caught in between—torn between staying close to the boy who meant everything to you and running from the pain that came with it.

“If I asked you to stay,” he said, his voice breaking slightly, “would you?”

The question hung in the air between you, fragile and desperate. You looked into his eyes, saw the quiet plea there, and realized the truth of it all. Despite everything—despite his guilt, his grief, and the scars the two of you carried—you couldn’t imagine walking away.

“Of course I would,” you said softly, stepping toward him. “Sebastian, I’m not leaving. I never planned to leave.”

The tension in his shoulders eased, and for the first time in weeks, you saw the faint flicker of a smile at the corner of his lips. “You’re sure?”

“I’m sure,” you murmured. “Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be.”

He looked at you like you’d just lifted a weight he hadn’t realized he’d been carrying. Slowly, hesitantly, he reached out and brushed his fingers against your cheek, as if testing whether you were real.

“You’re far too good for me, you know,” he said, his voice soft now.

“And you’re an idiot if you think I’d let you decide that.”

Sebastian let out a short, choked laugh, and the sound warmed you more than the setting sun ever could. His hand cupped your cheek fully now, thumb brushing against your skin as he looked at you with something that felt so close to hope.

“You’re not allowed to leave me, you know,” he whispered.

You smiled faintly, reaching up to place your hand over his. “Then stop giving me reasons to.”

For the first time in a long time, Sebastian leaned in, resting his forehead against yours as the two of you stood there, the world fading into the background. Whatever came next, you knew this—he—was worth staying for.

And you always would.

[angelicwh1spers]

— ⋅˚₊‧ 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ‧₊˚ ⋅ —

— 𝐀cademic 𝐑ival 𝐂hristopher x 𝐀cademic 𝐑ival 𝐑eader

𝐈n 𝐜onclusion… before taking a very important test, you and Chris decided to make a bet on who would get the higher score, the person with the lower score would have to do anything the person with the higher score wanted them to do, and unfortunately you got one percent lower than Chris…

𝐖arnings… [ SUGGESTIVE&ANGST ] , swearing , allergic reaction , burning stuff , steamy makeout session ,

⚠︎ 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐒 - English is not my first language so excuse and dismiss any minor mistakes in my writing, I’m fairly new to writing on tumblr but it’s always been my passion to create stories and envelop myself inside of the world of fiction.

⟡ ݁₊ “𝐘ou seriously think you can beat me?” You huff, holding in your laughter as the chill autumn breeze hits your skin as Chris tries to claim he can beat you at the upcoming test today by getting a higher grade, it almost felt pathetic to be hearing such words even dare to be spoken by him in your presence. “Scared you’ll loose the bet?” He taunts, leaning his back against the railing of the staircase located at the entrance to the campus, one of his many favorite brown leather jacket protecting him from the soft breeze. You chuckle at his immediate assumption, you loosing a silly little bet for the higher score? “Me? Scared? Who do you think I am, a dumbass like you?”

“Oh you’re so high and mighty, I can’t wait to see your face when you loose.” A mocking smirk tugs on the corner of his mouth as you just roll your eyes at his smartass remark, maybe he isn’t a total dumbass but definitely is a goddamn bastard. And why does he have to look so good in that jacket today? “You wish, I never loose. Why do you think I’m on top of the class? I earned it, get ready to do whatever I say after this test, loser.” I state, he chuckles softly before running a hand through his brown messy hair, you could see the slight shift in his demeanor, now appearing more determined and set on one obvious goal. “Yeah, I think you meant you were getting ready to do whatever I say, hm?”

────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────

During the remainder of the day, you two made it each others mission to sabotage the other in anyway possible so they would fail the test, first it started harmless with distracting each other from studying but progressively got more intense and rude but to you two it felt as if it was just another day…

— allergic reaction.

You finally have sat down with your friends, chatting and laughing as jokes and stories were thrown between the group, while you were taking out your already prepared lunch, out of the corner of your eye you noticed Chris smirking ear to ear right at you while talking with his own friend group at their table. You brushed off his stare and continued with your lunch, but when you took the first bite and it went down your throat, something didn’t feel right, your throat started to close up and your breath coming in short puffs and then you realized you were having an allergic reaction, a million questions rise inside of your mind on how this could have happened, you precisely made sure there was nothing you were allergic to inside of your lunch. Then Chris’s little smirk flashes in your mind and already know who was behind this, thank god you had your epipen in your bag. You knew you couldn’t go to the nurse since she would send you home, so you had to live through the pain for the remainder of the day until the test, one day you swear you will not hesitate to kill him.

— burning pile.

Throwing in the last piece of paper you needed to be complete, you watched as the hot flames immediately roared to life, intensifying the already big fire created from Chris’s important notes he had ready for todays test and you also decided to burn some other ones he had in his book bag, from your taken spot you could hear most of the things happening in the school, especially where Chris currently was from the open window and could hear frustrated footsteps stomping throughout the school and just laugh at his immediate reaction, waiting for him to make it to where you were. A half-finished lit cigarette hanging from the corner of your mouth as you see a familiar voice call out your name and already knowing who it is, "Y/n! Give me my notes back, you know those are—" He cuts off his own words by the sight of his notes being a burning pile right in front of him, a mocking smirk tugging at the corners of my mouth, taking the last drag of my cigarette and throwing it into the flames to disintegrate, "Ups! I thought these were useless" you say with fake "I'm gonna literally gonna murder you."

────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────

Chris won the stupid bet, getting a 100% overpowering your 99% on the test and him waving the test in your face, but the thing he asked you to do wasnt something you expected at the very least…

His hands rest on your waist as you two stumble into the kitchen, being all over each other as an intense make out was currently happening between you two, he softly pushes your back into the counter before they tighten its grip and lift you up to sit you down on the counter for better access as your lips which never separate from each other and don’t seem like they will any time soon, your arms wrap around his neck while his rest right above your hips but they keep wandering all over your lower body. Somehow you two ended up in this situation, but you’re certainly not complaining much, the way the feeling of his lips on yours and how your tongues danced together just made a shiver run down your spine, it almost felt like a drug that you felt you needed more of each second.

“Still bitter about loosing that bet? Princess was finally pushed off her high and mighty stool?” He teases, speaking between kisses which became slight messy as he talked but soon gone back to normal, “Maybe, but you have to make it up to me for that allergic reaction.” I answer, still feeling the bitter-sweet taste of losing now being overpowered by the taste of Chris’s mouth on mine. The only time we would pull away from each other was for short breaths before returning right back, you didn’t know for how long you two were like this but it’s not like someone was counting your time nor rushing you. “What about you first making up for burning my notes and looking absolutely delicious smoking that cigarette?” “I think I already did, by doing whatever you want” he smirks into the long kiss, it somehow remaining eager and passionate even after the long duration of it.

His hands squeezed your hips tightly, wandering downwards to rest down on your thighs, dangerously close to the waistband of your skirt as our own hands wandered to tangle into his brown messy locks, the long make out session soon came to an end, leaving you two complete panting messes before Chris attacks the sensitive soft flesh of your neck, peppering it with open-mouthed kisses while his hot breath fans over them, causing a soft whimper escape past your lips alongside quick puffs of air, still trying to regain your flow of breath. "Like how your rival is all over you, huh? How he just can't resist the little princess no more." He mumbles against your neck while leaving a significant hickey behind which is going to be not so easy to cover up tomorrow for my classes, "What will I say after someone sees all these marks on my neck?" I question in a playful tone as he raises his head to glance up at my face, appearing almost serious if it wasnt for his eyes which were driven entirely by desire in that moment. "Tell them who you fuckin' belong to, little princess."

— 🩵 𝐓aglist

• @sweetshuga @giveheavensomehell @delilahsturniolo @marrykisskilled @purpledragon222 @nickgurl4life @thenickgirl …

⋅˚₊‧ 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒... heloheloheloo!! the start of the au has now began and surprisingly this is the first thing im writing for it but its not gonna be all smut all the time so bear with me guys for now, thanks for over 200 notes on my first fic im so grateful guys it feels so insane to me!! 🩵

[postm0rt3m]

happy thanksgiving everyone!

just a lil fluff thanksgiving bf!simon post bcz i just sobbed my heart out over the most absolutely devastatingly beautiful angst story i’ve ever read (through statics, give it a read!) and if i keep thinking about it i’m going to actually spiral

not proofread so :P

(i said this then made myself cry again writing this bffr. this also ended up way longer than i meant for it to so lol!)

“simon?”

“…baby?”

“simon theodore! are you even listening to-“

simon suddenly snaps back out of his thoughts at the stern tone in your voice, letting out a small grunt as if saying “yes i was” but in reality.. he wasn’t. he was too far gone in his absolutely harrowing thoughts, because today is the day.

the day he’s having thanksgiving dinner with your family. i repeat, simon “ghost” riley is currently on his way to eat turkey and stuffing and pumpkin pie with his girlfriend’s family. sound the alarms!

don’t get me wrong, he’s met some of your family before. your parents, your siblings. but.. your entire family is going to be here. moms side, dads side, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins. oh god.

this man has been through war and back. literally. yet, he feels as anxious as he did the first day he joined the army, just thinking about the events that are about to go down. he’s literally trembling. terrified to lift his hands from the death grip he has on the steering wheel because he knows you’ll get that same teasing sympathetic look on your face as you always do.

he finally clears his throat, breaking his deadpan stare out the windshield to glance over at you for a moment, which brings him a little comfort. just the sight of you, really, could relax every tense muscle in his body.

“yeah, yeah, ‘m listenin’. said sumn about.. ham..?”

you look over when you feel his gaze on his, that same smile he was just trying to prevent spreading across your face. holding back a laugh from the random mention of ham, you place your left hand on his meaty thigh, giving it a soft squeeze.

“…no. are you okay? i promise they’re gonna love you, si. seriously.”

you know, of course, about your boyfriend’s past. his alcoholic of a father, the absence of his mother, the way he buried himself with work and an early grave in an attempt to forget it all. every time you think about it, your heart squeezes. because his pain is your pain, and it hurts you so deeply its as if it happened to you. plus, your man doesn’t deserve all that weight on his shoulders!

so, you’re kind. loving. forgiving. you never hold his mistakes over his head, knowing it happened so many times in his childhood. you’ve been together not even a year, yet, you know. you know he’s the one that you’ll marry, the one who’s children you’ll have running around your big white suburban house. and he knows it too. which is why he agreed to this!

he gives another grunt after he mulls over your question, because, really, is he okay? he’s not sure himself, at this point.

“i.. ‘m fine. lets just get this over with.”

—

once you actually arrive, you’re.. not sure if simon is still breathing in his seat. neither is he. his hands are still placed firmly on the steering wheel and his feet on the pedals, even though he already turned the car off. five minutes ago.

“baby. take a deep breath in,”

you begin, your smile falling as you realize he’s actually terrified. this is probably the first thanksgiving dinner he’s ever been to. and with his future family? he just wants the world to open up and swallow him whole already.

but, he obliges, taking a sharp inhale in, holding it, then letting it out when you say. it actually does relax his muscles a little, but not his nerves. no, they’re so far gone he thinks they won’t be relaxed for the next five years.

“then out. you’re okay. everything will be okay. i promise, they’ll love you. worst case scenario, we leave and get chinese.”

he looks over at you, his gaze still as intense as ever, but you can see the utter fear and nerves swirling around behind his brown eyes. you let out a small sigh, leaning over the center console to place a soft kiss on his stubbly cheek.

“lets go in. we can come back out if its too much, okay?”

he nods, swallowing so hard he thinks he might’ve swallowed his own tongue. his grip on the steering wheel finally releases as he exits the car, the crisp november air instantly hitting his face and the white t-shirt & blue jeans that took him two hours to pick out.

he rounds the front of the black pickup truck, opening your door and taking your hand as you slide down out of the passenger seat.

as you two walk up to the front door of your mother and father’s home, his grip on your hand tightens more and more with each step. you place another reassuring peck on his arm, which loosens it just a little. just a little.

you make it to the front door, and oh my god simon thinks he’s going to pass out. he’s trying to keep it together, but staring through the foggy glass of the door, seeing the bustling of your family inside, he thinks he might hurl.

“oh — you must be the famous simon we hear so much about! her mom never shuts up about you!”

one of your aunts opens the door, a beaming smile spread across her face as she sees you, then cranes her neck up to look at your brute of a boyfriend. you can see the shock on her face for a split second, although she doesn’t dwell on it. but simon does.

why did she look at me like that? do i have something on my face? bloody hell, i’m gonna throw up everywhere and she’s gonna leave me and-

you cut simon out of his thoughts with a reassuring squeeze to his hand, glancing from him to your aunt. she reaches her hand out, and simon hesitantly meets it, giving it a gentle yet firm shake.

“we’re glad to be here! simon is excited to meet everyone, right, love?”

“yeah. can’t wait.”

you two make your way through the lively house, and simon can’t help but think about how.. domestic it all is.

your siblings and cousins all running around, playing together and weaving in and out of the various rooms. your mom, aunts, and grandmothers gathered in the kitchen, preparing the food and gossiping about their respective partners. your dad, uncles and grandpas laughing heartily over beers and nachos as they watch the ongoing baseball game on the tv.

its something simon has never had the pleasure of experiencing in real life, and something he never thought he’d get to experience.. ever. the reality hits him, so much harder than he’d thought.

that.. this is his life. this is his family. not those people who abandoned him all those years ago. you’re his family. and the thought warms his chest in a way not even you could.

the day flies by, so much faster than simon thought it would. he got to meet everyone, speak with everyone. he even had a beer with your dad. although this may be completely new to him, it instantly felt familiar. felt right. the stability and domesticity he’s craved for so long, and he’s finally got it.

he was nervous the whole time, of course. he still is. but having you there made it all melt all way after a few hours. he stayed by your side the entire time, not wanting to leave you alone, but also not wanting to be alone himself. your reassuring squeezes, your loving pecks to his cheek or arm, they kept him grounded. and he will never be able to re-pay you for such a feat.

when it comes time to eat, everyone is crowded around the living room with heaping plates in hands. your cousins are sprawled on the floor, uncles and aunts sitting in random camping chairs they brought knowing there wouldn’t be enough space for everyone.

simon can’t wait to eat. the fragrant turkey and gravy sitting in his lap, he thinks he will simply die if he doesn’t dig in.

but, one of your aunts mentioned saying grace. something simon doesn’t think he’s done a single time in his life.

everyones heads bow, hands connecting around the room, simon holding yours in his left and your sibling’s in his right as you all squeeze together on the couch.

your mother begins her prayer, giving her thanks for the people, the food, and the house they’re so lucky to be blessed with. simon finds it a little silly as a firm non-believer of any type of religion, but it also squeezes at his heart, because they truly are blessed. he’s blessed.

then, she mentions him.

“and thank you, for bringing such a handsome man into my daughter’s life. we hope for a long, healthy life for the two of them, and hope he doesn’t mind his new crazy family.”

his new crazy family.

you peek your eyes open with the widest grin, glancing over to see if simon is as flushed as you think he is.

but he’s not.

he’s crying.

you can feel his hand slightly trembling, his eyes still clamped shut as the tears roll down his face and his lip pouts out just the slightest. your smile instantly falls, your hand still connected with his as you raise them to wipe at his tears.

you try to be discreet, not wanting to draw any unwanted attention to as you dry his eyes with your sleeve. you can feel your heart doing flips, the fact that he’s so touched that he’s crying making you want to cry yourself.

after they say amen, everyone instantly digs into their plates. except the two of you.

you can’t take your eyes off of simon, and he can’t take his reddened eyes off of you. here, in this moment, you both realize something.

everything you two’ve been through. the lows, the sleepless nights. the highs, nights out on the town until ungodly hours. has lead to this. this connection, this moment.

and, god, neither of you could ask for more. he truly can’t wait to put a ring on your finger.

after a few moments of silent conversation you give him a small smile, and the two of you tune back into the world, digging into your plates and enjoying the presence of your family and each other.

this is his family now. and just like he couldn’t ask for more from you, he couldn’t ask anymore from them. he loves them just as much as he does you.

a few hours later, everyone begins leaving and heading home. thanksgiving is officially over for your household.

you can barely drag simon away from the kitchen, who is stacking a plate the size of his own head with the various dishes strewn across the counter. your mother was absolutely delighted at the fact that he kept going back, for seconds, thirds, then fourths. and now he’s taking the remaining leftovers.

you two make it back out to the truck, him helping you in before the both of you settle in and fasten your seatbelts.

but he doesn’t yet start it. he looks over at you, a content sigh escaping his lips and a smile so warm across his face you think you could melt.

“i love you.”

he simply says, the usual monotone stance in his voice replaced with something else. something warm and sweet, like the soft piece of pumpkin pie in the plate in your lap, neatly covered by a layer of tin foil.

“i love you too, simon. i told you they’d love you.”

you respond, the smile on your own face giddy and almost sickly sweet as you think about everything that just happened, and everything that will happen.

its a little hard for simon to make sense of all these new emotions and flooding feelings as you two make the long drive back home. but one thing he does know, he’s thankful.

thankful for you, thankful for the 5 inch tall plate of food in the backseat, and thankful for your family.

for his family.

[captainheartcollector]

Doubts

Alastor x Reader

A/N: Hello, everyone! Here is my first (and probably only since I’m not really a writer) attempt at an Alastor x Reader. I don’t know why, but I got inspired to write a scenario involving the day after having relations with Alastor the very first time. It doesn’t go into detail. Being on the ace spectrum myself, maybe this was just my way of coping with things. This was very self-indulgent. Story is all from Reader’s POV, whom I kept gender neutral. I’m sorry if Alastor is super ooc. I don’t have any clue on how to capture his personality. But I hope that you can enjoy the story nonetheless!

CW: suggestive themes, excessive use of pet names

Word Count: 1,144

Last night was the first time Alastor and you made love. Why he decided to be so generous, you couldn’t say. But you weren’t going to complain. When you awoke the following morning, you awoke to an empty bed. His spot beside you was cold. He had undoubtedly been up hours before you were. Realization set in. Did last night really happen? Was it a dream? No. The evidence riddled all over your aching body proved it. You eventually found the strength to sit up. Was he upset with you? Did he regret his decision to go all the way? Is that the reason he didn’t stay? You hadn’t pressured him, but you were the one who really wanted it after all.

Brushing those dangerous trepidations aside, you washed up and got ready for the day as usual. It was your day off, so you took things easy. However, you couldn’t help but notice that Alastor was nowhere to be seen within the hotel. Was he avoiding you? Surely, he was out on business, attending to his duties as an Overlord or brainstorming ideas for his next radio broadcast. Maybe he was just taking one of his daily strolls, chatting with Miss Rosie. Would he tell her?

Sure, Alastor was a schemer, but at this point, it felt far too late to start doubting him now. So, you tried your best to push those feelings away and keep yourself preoccupied, aiding as much as you could with the daily tasks around the hotel.

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ ☾. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

It was hours before he finally returned. You glanced at the clock—it was nearly midnight. He sauntered through the front doors like all was right with the world. Once he detected your presence, he ambled across the lobby over to you smoothly. “Good evening, (y/n),” he chirped melodically with a flourish and a gleam in his eye. “I trust that you’ve caught up on your beauty sleep?” He sounded as pleasant as ever. So, you were clearly on speaking terms. Maybe that meant he wasn’t angry, or…

Despite your reservations, you couldn’t contain the eager smile creeping its way onto your face as you admired him. “Sure did,” you answered casually. “How was your outing today?”

“Frightfully illuminating, I must say. Thanks for asking!”

He acted like he was in a good mood. Therefore, you weren't going to sour it by prying further on the matter—especially when you could discern that he didn’t want you to. However, you needed to know the answers to the questions plaguing your mind. “Alastor,” you murmured, “do you think that we could talk…privately?” The last word was a whisper.

“Certainly, sweetheart.” That was easy. “Meet me in the library in ten.”

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ ☾. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

And that’s where the two of you were now—in a secluded, quiet corner of the library. You made sure no one else was around beforehand. Though why would there be at this hour. He sat next to you on the plush camelback sofa. You stared down at your hands which were fidgeting in your lap nervously as you spoke. “Alastor…you’re not upset with me, are you?”

He studied you silently for a moment before responding. You could never tell what was running through that demented head of his. Suddenly, he chimed, “Not at all, dearest. What reason would there be for that?”

Did he really not get it? Was he just pretending to be oblivious? Or was he truly unbothered by what happened?

“You know…Last night. You’re not mad?”

You felt his slender, clawed fingers cup your chin, forcing you to look at him directly. His smile was genuine and warm.

“Of course not, darling. It was consensual, was it not?”

“Yes, but I would never want you to do those things if they make you uncomfortable…or, if you just plain don’t want to.”

“I did want to. I wanted to because I knew you wanted to.”

What? That was so uncharacteristically thoughtful to hear him say. His thumb caressed your cheek in reassurance while his lidded gaze never faltered. It felt as though he was completely unperturbed.

“Wow…That’s so sweet of you, Alastor.” So sweet, you almost didn’t know how to process it. “But,” you interjected, “I want you to be able to enjoy it, too. Otherwise, I can’t—”

One of his fingers grazed over your lips, effectively shushing you.

He let out a low hum as if in brief contemplation before continuing. “I did enjoy it… More than I thought possible,” he admitted, seemingly in spite of himself.

You couldn’t fight back the hopeful smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “So…you don’t regret it?”

“Au contraire,” he beamed as he leaned in closer, mischief glinting in those gorgeous crimson eyes of his. “One could easily grow accustomed to seeing all those pretty faces you make while chanting my name more often.”

Immediately, an intense heat began to scald your cheeks as you hid your face in embarrassment, swatting him away playfully. “Don’t tease me!”

He chuckled heartily at your expense. “No sense in acting shy now, darling!”

“Ah, Alastor, stooop!”

His laughter continued briefly before he wiped a gleeful tear from his eye and conceded, “Very well.”

As soon as the silly little incident died down, you mustered the confidence to behold his eyes once more. He appeared absolutely pleased with himself. And yet again, you couldn’t help but return his contagious, everlasting smile. He was so beautiful—beyond just his face or form. You knew he was a menace, but there were beautiful aspects to his personality, too. Well, when he wanted there to be. Being able to make you smile—sincerely smile—was just one of them.

“Y’know,” you said finally, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen between you, “I’m glad.”

Alastor’s toothy grin somehow grew even wider as he leaned down close to you like he had before. His hand crept along the back of your neck affectionately as he placed a tender kiss gently upon your forehead. Even after he carefully pulled away, his deft fingers continued to brush lightly through your hair and along your scalp. You could have melted right there and then.

“That’s wonderful news, (y/n.) Let’s try and keep it that way, shall we?”

You nodded in agreement as you happily slid into his arms, wrapping your own around his lithe frame, never taking for granted how freely and frequently he allowed you to touch him during these soft and confidential moments. “I love you,” you sighed contentedly, nuzzling against his chest.

However, it was his unexpected reply that left you feeling giddy for the rest of the night.

“I know, my dear. I am…quite fond of you, too.”

And that was enough for you.

[raysrays]

Fatal Attraction Chapter Two (NSFW)

18+ MDNI‼️

CW for the entire story: Breeding, Size Difference,Size Kink, Jealousy, Scent Marking, Age Difference, Vaginal Sex, Possessive Behavior, Angst, Twisted, Creampie, Angry Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Hair-pulling, Biting, Master/Pet, Light Dom/sub, Violence, Knotting.

Content disclaimer: This story is inspired by the amazing artist @PammyJammy117 on Twitter/X. I in absolutely no way own or claim the idea of the “Cryptid Rengoku” character. Please give credit to the original artist who inspired the story.

Chapter One

He let me go. I can’t believe what just happened as I stumble back to the small, secluded residence where Tamayo has been housing us. My ankle hurts, but not as badly as before. The pain lingers, though it's less intense after resting and talking with that monster.

I'm in shock and disbelief. Out of all the people who have been searching for these mythical monsters for years, I had the misfortune of encountering one—and a dangerous one at that.

I think back to that haunting smile, those sharp teeth, and the glow of his red eyes. However, Tamayo's rambling might have saved me in a way. I never looked Kyojuro Rengoku directly in the eyes, which means he couldn’t sway my emotions.

If I remember correctly, the Hashira—or more specifically, these cryptid creatures—have the ability to influence a person’s control once you look into their eyes. This could be a means of protection or a manipulation tactic. I didn’t care what Kyojuro Rengoku’s intent was. Once I realized the situation I was in, I kept my gaze low.

He seemed not to notice, or at least he never mentioned it.

My mind is racing, and there's a nauseous feeling in my stomach. The full realization of the situation crashes down on me all at once: I encountered one of the nine most dangerous monsters our group has been researching. And I can’t breathe a word about it to any of them, especially not Tamayo.

The guilt didn’t set in until I finally made it back to the small house. I could see Tamayo, Yushiro, and some of the others talking in a group through the window.

There they were, discussing theories and ideas, while I stood outside with a twisted ankle, no flower, and a huge secret I had to keep from them.

In that moment, it felt like the world was working against me. I didn’t even believe in any of these ridiculous creatures, and now I’m stuck returning to see one every other day.

And return I did. Once my ankle healed, I kept my promise to him, bringing offerings of different foods and teas. I tried bringing blankets and fabric once, but he didn’t seem to enjoy those.

Even though sneaking around at night to see him was difficult, I made it work. Our dynamic was confusing, but I tolerated it. The first few times I visited, we sat and ate together. He would ask me questions about myself and my life, which I usually answered briefly. I didn’t want a terrifying monster knowing everything about me. Recognizing my face was bad enough.

When I tried to ask him questions, he would either change the subject or ignore me completely. If anyone else behaved like this, I’d probably tell them off. But when you’re dealing with an eight-foot-tall cryptid with teeth sharper than any blade, I let it slide.

Today, on my way to see him, I felt different. I’ve been visiting him for around two weeks now and never felt us getting closer, but I’ve started getting used to his company. As I continued to see him more, his appearance began to grow on me.

The blonde fur, the sharp teeth, and the red glow emanating from his eyes became something familiar, something I expected. Over time, these once terrifying traits started to become... not so bad.

"Why do you look like that?" His booming voice jolted me back to reality.

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking."

"It seemed like you were staring... Haven't you gotten used to me yet?" He flashed a smile so terrifying yet charming it sent shivers down my spine.

"No, it's not that. I was just trying to decide what food to bring next time."

"I really enjoyed the sweet potato dish. Bring it again." His ears perked up almost like a dog's. It was kind of cute.

"I've brought that one too often. You should try other dishes. Besides, I won't be able to come see you for a few days, so you'll have some time to think it over."

I waited for a response, but there was none. Slowly, I looked up at him. His face was scary, his sharp smile replaced by a terrifying scowl. His ears flattened.

"That's not what we agreed upon, Y/N. Why won't you be able to come see me?" he growled.

I struggled to find the words. Tamayo had informed the group that we'd be moving locations for a few days to cover new ground. I thought he'd understand. I never assumed he'd be upset by my absence.

"My group has to move locations for our search for a while. It shouldn’t take too long. I’ll return soon. It will only be a couple of days."

He got up and moved closer, and I felt every part of my body tense as he approached.

"Where exactly will you be going?" His face was so close to mine now. I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest.

"North… we’re going north."

I didn't have to look at his face to feel the intense glare he was giving me.

"You can’t go. You won’t," he snarled, pulling away.

"I don’t have a choice—"

"I don’t care. You aren’t going."

I didn’t understand. Is it just for the food? Why would this terrifying legend of a monster care if I came to see him or not?

"Why is it a problem? Why can’t I go?" I somehow managed to push the words out.

He was quiet, then I suddenly felt something around my wrist. I looked down to see his tail tightly wrapped around me, pulling me closer. That’s when I felt his sharp-clawed hand lifting my chin.

I instinctively shut my eyes.

"Look at me, Y/N." That usually happy tone had vanished from his voice, replaced with a voice as cold as ice.

Every bone in my body wanted to comply with his demands, but Tamayo's warning lingered in my mind.

"I can’t.”

"Look at me," he repeated.

I couldn’t resist. I knew Cryptids could influence humans, but I didn’t realize how much.

Slowly, I felt my eyes open, adjusting to the sight in front of me.

My mouth fell slightly open. I’d never seen such deep red glowing eyes before. That smile I’d grown accustomed to was completely gone.

I was scared, but why was I so… attracted to him?

"You will not go, Y/N. I'm sure you can come up with some excuse for this Tamayo woman you speak of so much," he spat.

I wanted to protest, to argue, but I just couldn't.

"Okay, I'll talk to her."

With that, he let me go, his tail slowly unwrapping from my wrist. His smile returned.

"Very good! You'll return to me tomorrow. I want the sweet potato dish once more!"

I could practically hear my own heartbeat—what a one-eighty.

As I walked back to the safe house, I planned what I would say to Tamayo, what excuse I would give for not going with the group.

Yushiro was definitely going to give me a hard time about it. But this whole situation sucks. I don’t want Tamayo to kick me out of the only place I have to call home, but on the other hand, I risk getting killed by one of the scariest creatures known to man.

-—————-

"Where have you been?"

I glanced up to see Yushiro and some of the others packing for the journey.

"I just stepped out to get some fresh air."

"Seems like you've been stepping out a lot lately," Yushiro muttered, rolling his eyes.

I had no idea why he was so hard on me. His attitude had only worsened the longer I stayed.

Ignoring him, I walked away. I don't answer to Yushiro. I answer to Tamayo, and that's who I needed to talk to.

My hand felt heavy as I knocked on the door to her office.

"Come in."

I opened the door slowly.

She was nearly hidden behind a giant stack of papers and books. As I approached, she stood and walked around to meet me.

"Y/N, what is it?"

I couldn’t believe how intimidating this small woman was.

"Tamayo... I can't go with you and the rest of the group up north."

She looked at me blankly for a moment. "Why's that?"

"Because I'm afraid I might be coming down with a cold... or something..." I hadn't really thought of a convincing excuse.

"You look fine to me. You're going," she said coldly.

Damn.

"I want to, I really do. It's just that I don't feel well, and I'm afraid I'll hold everyone back."

She scrutinized me. I knew she could tell something was off, but she was making this difficult on purpose.

"Y/N, I've asked you to look for the same flower for weeks now and you've brought me nothing. Now I'm asking you to join the group on our search up north and you're telling me no?"

When she said it out loud, it sounded ridiculous.

"You will go with us, Y/N, or you can't continue to stay here. The choice is yours."

So, my options were to face this 4'11" intimidating woman or an 8-foot-tall cryptid monster.

I'll take my chances with Rengoku.

After all, Tamayo controlled whether or not I had a place to sleep at night. I'm sure he wouldn't be too angry with me as long as I brought him more food.

"Suddenly I feel a lot better. I'll be ready to go in the morning," I said, forcing a small smile.

"That's what I figured." She retreated back behind her desk.

Something inside me felt off, my body a little uneasy. Yeah, he's going to be upset, but he'll forgive me. Right?

I walked up into my small room to get things ready, but I started to feel a little strange. My body felt odd, as if I was doing something wrong.

Climbing into the covers I think about everything, this whole situation that I’ve gotten myself into, with Tamayo, with Rengoku, all of it. I just don’t understand why it had to happen to me.

I never wanted any of this.

I was feeling confident until this morning. As I was helping Yushiro get things ready for the set out, my body kept feeling weird.

It’s like I kept having this odd sense of I’m doing something wrong. Like I’m in danger. I kept trying to shake it off but, it doesn’t go away.

Things only got worse once we hit the road. Tamayo may have thought I was lying earlier about being sick, because I was. But now, my whole body feels awful.

But it’s just a few days. I can push through. I’ll come home, make Rengoku a large dish of the sweet potatoes he loves, and all will be forgiven with a little ass-kissing.

“Y/N, are you ready?”

I look over and see Yushiro and the others staring at me.

“Yeah, sorry. Let’s go.” I push the sick feeling down and start to move.

I can’t help but think about why Rengoku didn’t want me to go up north. I know the territory mark ends, but really that shouldn’t mean anything. It’s not like I’m staying up there permanently.

As I walked with the group, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I felt like something was staring at me. It only felt more intense the closer and closer we got to the border that separated our usual territory from the north.

Once we started to step over that line, I glanced over my shoulder one last time. I practically felt my heart stop as I noticed two shining red eyes glaring at me in the distance.

He saw me, and he looked furious. I made the wrong call.

———————

To say that the trip up north was a waste of time would be an understatement—at least in Yushiro's words.

We searched around but found very little. To be honest, I was more paranoid about what we couldn't see. Knowing about the Hashira's existence has made me overly wary of wandering around.

While we were camping out, I read that we were in the territory of Sanemi Shinazugawa. His description was just as horrifying as Rengoku’s.

But what truly scared me was how violent this monster was compared to Rengoku. I knew these monsters were fierce, but the tales of Shinazugawa were extreme.

I felt so guilty keeping this secret. My group had no idea how much danger we’d be in if we ran into him. And it would be all my fault.

Honestly, if Sanemi Shinazugawa wanted to find and kill me, I wouldn't complain too much after the way Rengoku looked at me on my way out. I figured I was painfully dead either way.

I could feel my steps getting heavier as we walked back towards the safe house. It’s not like I wanted to stay in a monster-infested forest, but I definitely didn’t want to be there with Rengoku.

I’ve looked through books and journals of Tamayo’s and still can’t find much about him. Everything I found was positive. He was a kind, protective cryptid who watched over the main village in this area until humans deemed monsters too dangerous to trust.

There was nothing on his origins, background, family, or anything—certainly nothing about a temper.

So why was he looking at me like that? Like he wanted to kill me for going against him. Honestly, it felt like my body wanted to punish me for it too.

Ever since we left—no, ever since I agreed to go—I’ve felt sick and worried. I just kept feeling like I was doing something wrong.

“Y/n, when we get back, I need you to get some firewood.”

I glanced over to see Tamayo looking at me.

I’m dead.

“Oh, okay.”

The rest of the walk, all I could do was dread what would happen to me. Not only was Tamayo forcing me back into the place I wanted to avoid, but I’d also be going without some sort of food offering.

I might as well have signed my own death certificate.

Once we made it back, I helped unload everything and then slowly made my way back into the forest to get the wood. As soon as I stepped out of the clearing, a shiver ran down my spine.

Then the clicking started. He’s here.

“Y/N L/N.” The way his echoing voice spoke my name made me want to run, but my feet stayed planted.

Once he emerged from the shadows, his tall, broad figure just as terrifying as I remembered. But this time, there was no sharp smile or perked-up ears. Instead, angry, glowing eyes and a scowl that would scare any man.

I stepped back as he approached.

Just as I was about to speak, his tail wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer.

He leaned in and sniffed me. When he pulled back, his whole demeanor changed. His eyes darkened.

“You disobeyed me,” he growled.

“I had to. If I didn’t go, Tamayo was going to kick me out—”

His grip tightened, and his ear twitched with annoyance.

“You could have stayed here, with me. You don’t need her approval. The only person you should wish to please is me.”

His glare was piercing.

Stay with him? What is he talking about?

“I’m sorry, I really am. I didn’t want to go.”

“I cannot believe you would deliberately disobey me. You even smell like him,” he hissed.

“Who?”

His clicking intensified with his agitation.

“Shinazugawa.” He growled fiercely.

“You left me to fall into his company? He is a vile, horrible creature. You dare to choose him over me?” His eyes flashed with anger.

I felt my heart racing as his words sank in. My mind scrambled for something to say, anything that might diffuse his rage.

“No, it’s not like that! I didn’t choose him over you,” I pleaded. “I didn’t have a choice.”

His grip loosened slightly, but his eyes remained fixed on me, burning with anger and something else—betrayal.

“You always have a choice,” he said, his voice low and dangerous. “You chose to leave. You chose to put yourself in his path.”

I didn't know what to say. I hadn't even interacted with Sanemi Shinazugawa, yet somehow his scent was all over me.

I looked up at him, my eyes pleading. "Please, Rengoku. I would never choose anyone other than you."

His glowing eyes bore into mine, as if trying to gauge the truth of my words.

Suddenly, he pulled me closer, his large, clawed hand grabbing my face roughly.

"Prove it to me then. Prove you're loyal to me—not to Tamayo, not to Shinazugawa, to me."

"How? How can I prove it?" I was practically shaking. I would do anything to get out of this life-threatening situation.

His intense gaze lit up, his sharp smile returning. He leaned in close to me.

"Become my mate, Y/N L/N. Prove your loyalty to me, and become mine." His echoing voice suddenly sounded less sinister and more sincere.

Become his mate?

I felt my face heat up. There’s no way. There’s just no way Kyojuro Rengoku, a cryptid, a Hashira, one of the most dangerous beings to roam the earth, is asking me, a human, to become his mate.

“What? What do you mean?”

His smile only widened at my curiosity.

“Become my mate, Y/N. Stay with me, love me, and I’ll protect you for all eternity.” His ears perked up.

I didn’t know what to think. Am I actually considering this? I’ve always found Rengoku oddly attractive despite his terrifying nature, and yes, I do enjoy coming to see him. But was becoming his mate really what I had to do to survive?

And how exactly would I hide this from everyone?

As I looked into his eyes again, they flashed. Something in me felt different. Why was I suddenly feeling more attached to him?

I remembered the first time I looked into his eyes. I could tell he was influencing my body and emotions, but this time it was different.

Everything I’ve felt for him just felt amplified: fear, intimidation, attraction, lust.

Was I seriously about to bend to the will of this monster just because my twisted mind was genuinely attracted to his horrifying appearance and oddly charming personality?

If it’s going to keep me alive, then Yes. Yes, I was.

“Okay, I’ll do it. I’ll become your mate, Rengoku.”

His eyes widened, his smile growing larger as his grip on my waist tightened.

“If you agree to this, you must know I’ll never let you go. No matter where you run, I’ll always find you and bring you back to me.”

That sentence startled me, but I never expected to succeed in any escape attempt. I knew I couldn’t outsmart a monster like him.

“I understand. And I agree.”

That seemed to be all he needed to hear. He pulled me closer, our distance vanishing. His animalistic nature began to show as he sniffed and licked my skin.

“I’ll erase every trace of him on you. You’re mine,” he breathed.

I couldn’t help but feel my cheeks grow hotter, my body reacting to his possessive words.

In an instant, he was on top of me, pressing my body against the grass.

I struggled to breathe, his weight nearly suffocating me.

His eyes were locked on mine, his glowing red stare seeming more passionate than threatening now.

Suddenly, he pulled back and tore the clothing from my body, his hands groping and feeling my exposed skin.

My heart raced. I knew what was about to happen, and it terrified me. But I was also strangely excited.

He was quick, his claws shredding the remaining scraps of fabric from my body, leaving me bare beneath him.

I couldn't believe what I'd gotten myself into. This terrifying, mythical creature was about to claim me as his own. And the thought of it drove me wild.

As his large, clawed hands gripped my waist, he positioned himself between my legs.

His eyes looked at me, hungry.

"Y/N L/N."

"Yes?"

"You're mine."

I felt a surge of excitement run through me as I nodded.

"Say it," he growled.

"I'm yours."

His clicking started up again and he positioned his face between my legs.

I can’t believe it, is he really going to—

"Aah!" I cried out as his long, rough tongue began lapping at my sex.

My back arched as he lapped and teased, his sharp teeth nipping and tugging at my sensitive flesh.

I could barely catch my breath, the pleasure almost overwhelming.

I could feel my legs shaking, and my body begin to tighten as his tongue flicked against my clit.

"R-Rengoku..."

His glowing eyes peeked up at me.

“Kyojuro.” He corrected.

“If you are to be my mate, you will not address me so formally anymore.” He growled, sucking marks onto my thighs.

He returned to licking and teasing my pussy.

I can't believe this is happening.

I felt the heat building in my stomach, the pressure building as he lapped at my sensitive spot.

"Ahh... K-Kyojuro, I'm close," I moaned.

"Perfect," he rumbled, his echoing voice vibrating through me.

His grip on my thighs tightened as he pushed his tongue deeper into me, licking and sucking at my throbbing sex.

The pleasure was overwhelming.

"I'm gonna cum... I'm gonna cum," I moaned softly.

He growled continuing his assault on my clit.

His voice, his touch, it was all too much.

I cried out, my body shuddering and spasming as the intense waves of pleasure crashed over me.

Kyojuro held me in place as my orgasm washed over me, his tongue never slowing its pace.

The pleasure was so intense I couldn’t think straight. My body had never felt so used like this.

As my mind started to settle I couldn’t help but crave more. And by the way he was looking up at me between my thighs. I could tell that wasn’t enough for him either.

Once he arose up in front of me, I took in his body. The ripped muscles beneath his blonde and red fur. His tail and ears, and now…

Now for the first time I’m finally looking all of him. His cock was the biggest I’d ever seen. It was thick and curved and had a large knot close to the base.

my body shivered with pleasure, I wanted more. I needed more.

As if reading my thoughts, he smirked and positioned himself between my thighs, his cock teasing my entrance.

"Tell me what you want," he taunted.

"I... I want you, Kyojuro. I want all of you," I panted, my body aching with desire.

That was all the encouragement he needed.

He grabbed both my ankles holding them with one of his large hands above my head.

I’d be lying if I said this position wasn’t slightly embarrassing, but at this rate I didn’t care. I don’t know if it was the cryptids influence or if I was just fucked up in the head, but I was willing to let this monster use me in any way he wished.

With one smooth motion, he pushed his thick cock inside of me.

I moaned out as he stretched and filled me.

He paused, letting me adjust to his size.

"My mate," he growled, his eyes locking onto mine.

I panted, feeling his cock twitch inside me.

He started moving slowly, his cock rubbing against my walls, sending sparks of pleasure through my body.

"Oh god..."

I couldn’t hold back any longer.

I gripped the grass below me tightly as he slid in and out of me, his knot pushing against my entrance with every thrust.

The pressure was building, the heat spreading through my body as he picked up the pace.

"Oh fuck," I moaned, my body trembling with pleasure.

He clicked and growled in pleasure, his glowing eyes staring into me with a mixture of passion and possession.

He was relentless, his hips pounding into me with a primal fury.

"Fuck, Kyojuro," I cried, my body surrendering to the ecstasy.

The pleasure was so intense, it was almost painful.

His eyes flashed with desire, his pace never faltering.

I felt his cock twitch inside me, his knot pushing into my entrance stretching me even wider.

It was painful but I didn’t care, the high of my orgasm made it bearable. His cock was buried so deep inside me I thought my mind was going to blank with every thrust.

even after I came he still kept going, chasing his own release.

His rhythm grew more erratic, his breathing labored.

"Mine, my mate." he growled.

"Yes," I panted.

My words sent him over the edge.

He let out a roar, his teeth digging into my neck as he spilled his seed inside me, filling me with his thick, warm cum.

I cried out in pain and pleasure, feeling his cock pulsing inside me, his cum not spilling a drop due to the thick knot inside of me.

I was breathless, my body exhausted and sore, but my mind was completely satisfied.

"My beautiful human." he whispered, his voice heavy with lust and possession.

I held onto him, my body still trembling.

He released his grip on me, his clawed hand releasing my ankles.

I couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed as he pulled his softening cock out of me.

As the warmth of his body faded, the chill of the evening air set in, sending shivers down my spine.

But before the cold could sink in, he covered my body with his own, his warm, heavy frame keeping the chill away.

His face nuzzled into the crook of my neck, where he had bit me. his nose taking in his scent on my skin.

What have I done?

Next>>

[star-girl-05]

Fraudulent Kiss

Barry Allen x Reader

~★~❤︎~���~

You gasp as Barry falls to the ground next to you, withering as he’s tased. “Your quite right Iris the assailant was left handed just like this man here”. You stare at the fake barry who is now passed out, his previous actions make so much sense now. 

Just five minutes before this Barry or everything man as Catlin is calling him kissed you. Now that you know it wasn’t Barry kissing you, you're not sure how you feel. In the moment when you felt his soft lips against yours all you felt was ecstatic. You and Barry had been dancing around each other since you met. Neither of you made the first move, till today or at least that's what you thought. You can’t believe you kissed the meta-human who's been terrorizing the city. 

“We need to get him to the cells” Wells directed, Iris objected telling the three of us that they need to take him to the police. Surprisingly Wells agreed, requesting Catlin help Iris with the unconscious Shapeshifter. While Iris and Catlin escorted the shapeshifter out of the cortex you went to find Barry. 

You cautiously enter the Wests’ house, heading up the stairs to Barrys room. At first glance you don’t see him till you open the closet, you find Barry tied and gagged. You quickly untie him, setting his head in your lap. In an effort to wake him you start with small slaps to his cheek.  At his lack of response your slaps grow rougher till eventually you slap him harshly leaving behind a red hand print. He does finally jolt awake, shock on his face as he quickly looks around. “What was that for?” he groans holding a hand to his face. 

“I’m sorry you weren’t waking up, are you okay.” you gently reach out, placing your hand over his red cheek. 

“The meta-human was here he changed into me we need to-” you quickly interrupted his rambling telling him that they had already caught him. “I just hope he didn’t do anything stupid while he was me”, he could already imagine all the crazy things this shapeshifter could have done while wearing his face. 

“Don’t worry Catlin was with him from the moment he left the house till he was at star labs.” 

“So nothing embarrassing?”  he questions, you paused for a moment contemplating whether or not you should tell him about the kiss. 

“Nope nothing i can think of…. Youdidkissmethough” you quickly say, words blending together. Barry stared at you trying to decipher what you said. 

“What?” 

Now you're the embarrassed one, face heating up as you thought over your next words. “You or fake you kissed me,” It was quiet, too quiet before Barry spoke up. 

“He kissed you” his voice was soft, laced with a tone you couldn’t place. You just shook your head, scared your voice would betray you. “Oh… Did.. did you kiss him back?” Barry seems just as surprised as you at the question. 

“I didn’t kiss him he kissed me” you felt the need to clarify, and you were avoiding answering his question, because you did kiss him back. 

“Of course” he seemed dejected at your answer, standing up and moving away from you. You panic slightly as he moves away, you didn’t want this to get between the two of you. 

“Barry, are you upset?” that was a stupid question, of course he’s upset you just aren’t exactly sure exactly what upset him. 

“Yes” he quickly answered, making you wither, Barry seemed to realize his mistake quickly elaborating.  “I’m not upset with you, I’m upset with myself” now you were just confused. 

“Why are you mad at yourself?”

“Because that stupid Meta got to kiss you before me because I’m such a chicken.” His confession leaves you breathless. 

“You want to kiss me?” you tried not to get hopeful. 

“Of course I want to kiss you, who wouldn’t want to kiss you?” You let his words sink in for a moment before you stood to your feet and kissed him. It was a soft, lovely kiss. When you pull apart, both of you have dorky smiles on your face. 

“So am I the better kisser”

You giggle giving him a bright smile, “Definitely”

[oizysian]

Secrets | Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanoff

Requested by @sashawalker2

Summary: How do Wanda and Natasha react to finding out Y/N was a victim of Hydra?

Word count: 1.2k

•

“When were you going to tell us you were experimented on by Hydra?”

“I don’t know, Wanda. There never seemed to be a right time.”

“Would’ve been nice if we had known before going to bed with you.”

“What’s the difference, Nat?”

“It’s like we slept with a stranger. We don’t even know you anymore.”

I blinked at them, pushing the tears back as the two women that meant everything to me looked at me as if I was a total stranger.

“I’m still the same person.”

“You’re not.” Nat insisted. “You lied to us.”

“I didn’t lie! I just … neglected to mention it.”

“What else did you neglect to mention?”

“I may have forgotten to tell you guys that I maybe have … some powers.”

Nat all but rolled her eyes and Wanda just continued to stare at me.

“What powers?”

“Not many!”

“What powers, Y/N?” Nat had clearly lost her patience.

“I’m strong and I can heal, okay?” I was ashamed of my past, of my powers, and being forced to out myself in front of my girlfriends was embarrassing.

“How strong?”

“I can hold my own against any of you.”

“Not without proper training.” Nat mumbled and I glared at her.

“Try me.”

“Okay, okay,” Wanda finally spoke, getting in between us before we started fighting right in front of her. “Y/N,” her voice was soft. “Why didn’t you just … tell us?”

“I was scared, okay? I was scared and ashamed.” I turned away from both women, my hands shaking with rage. “I hate what happened to me. I hate what they made me. I pushed down all my strength and all my abilities so I could just be normal.”

I turned back towards them, tears threatening to fall as I pleaded to them with my eyes.

“Is it such a crime to have wanted to put all that pain and torture behind me and just … pretend?”

Nat swallowed roughly as she listened to my words.

“You could’ve told us.”

“I couldn’t.” My voice broke. “I worked so hard to put all of that behind me. Telling you would’ve undone everything I did to be the person I am today.”

“But we told you who we were. That wasn’t fair of you, Y/N.”

“I know,” I turned to Wanda, hoping that at least she would understand me. “And I’m sorry. I just didn’t want either of you to think that I was some Hydra agent undercover or something.”

“And what if we do?”

“Do you?” I directed the question at Natasha, but then turned my attention to Wanda. “Do both of you really think I’m a Hydra agent? After everything I told you? After all we’ve been through?” I yelled, my chest heaving and my tears finally falling.

Wanda’s eyes shifted to the ground, but Nat continued to stare straight at me.

“Wouldn’t I have killed both of you already? Maybe while I was fucking you so hard you were screaming my name -”

Natasha’s fist collided with my face before I even had the chance to react. I barely flinched at the blow, even though she had used all her strength and channeled her anger into the hit. I sighed, knowing full well that I deserved it for how I spoke, but disappointed that she resorted to violence.

“Natasha!” Wanda cried, but I raised my hand up toward her, telling her it was okay.

“I deserved that.” I breathed, watching as the realization finally crossed her features that I had taken a hit from her and didn’t even take a step back. “I shouldn’t have brought that up, I’m sorry.”

“Y/N,” Wanda said my name softly, slowly approaching me. “I don’t think you’re with Hydra. I don’t think you have an evil bone in your body.” She took my face in her hands and looked deeply into my eyes. “You need to be honest with us from now on. No more secrets.”

I nodded, my eyes filling with tears once again at the softness of her voice. I thought she would’ve been angrier than Nat, but I guess she understood my desire to put it behind me to an extent.

“No more secrets. I’m sorry.”

“I know you are. It’s okay.”

Nat stood back and wordlessly watched us, still as the dead while Wanda comforted me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me to her, hugging me, and I watched Nat from over her shoulder. Her face was unreadable, blank, but I knew her well enough to know that she was mulling over everything that happened.

“They took me as a child,” I began, looking Nat directly in the eye. “I was tortured for years, injected with god knows what until I was finally able to escape.” I swallowed roughly, blinking away tears. “I can’t tell you how many of my bones were broken, how much of my body was destroyed just for it to repair itself within minutes and for the torture to start all over again because of it.”

“Y/N, you don’t have to …"

“I want to.” I gave Wanda a slight squeeze, letting her know it was okay, and continued. “I wasn’t the end goal. I was just a guinea pig. They were just going to use me until I finally died.” I scoffed. “Unfortunately for me, they made it almost impossible for me to die from anything other than natural causes.”

I sniffled softly and I felt Wanda’s arms tighten around me in support.

“I can’t even kill myself.”

“Y/N, don’t.” Wanda spoke against my neck and I could feel her own hot tears against my skin. “Don’t say that.”

“I tried.” I grabbed onto her, burying my face in the crook of her neck. “I tried to kill myself so many times, but I always wake up. I always wake up.”

I could sense Nat approach before I felt her arms around the both of us. Wanda was full on crying at this point and I was doing my best to hold and comfort her. As Nat embraced us both, and I could’ve sworn that I heard her crying too.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

I looked up at her, her eyes shining with tears. I leaned toward her and pressed my lips to hers and she responded in full, kissing me back while we held Wanda.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered against my lips and I shook my head.

“Don’t apologize. I was the one who was wrong.”

“I was an idiot. I … hit you.”

“Which I deserved.”

“No, you didn’t. I lost myself.”

“It’s alright. I’m fine, see? Not even a scratch.” I tried to make light of it to try and make her feel better.

I knew it happened in a moment of passion and I truly did deserve it. I had deserved everything that happened to me. I knew that.

Before I could voice another thought, Wanda lifted her head up and kissed me, her lips trembling.

“I’m - I’m fine.” I breathed softly, her green eyes searching mine. “I’m fine, Wands. I promise.”

“I don’t want anything to come between us ever again.” Wanda’s voice was small and she sniffled softly.

“Nothing will. Ever. You two mean so much to me. More than you’ll ever know.”

[berryz-writes]

Jealousy

PART 2

Azriel x reader

Summary: Your forced to spend the weekend with Azriel the bane of your existence but little do you realize he doesn't completely hate you

Nfjznxsfdzfdxj this took a while my other WIP’s were distracting me. also ignore any mistakes, enjoy lovelies <33

part 1

It was torture. Downright torture. Pretending like last night hadn't happened was wreaking havoc on my brain. I didn't know how to forget about it. I couldn't.

The memory of Azriel pulling me closer, his face resting in the crook of my neck, the way his gentle hands rested on my waist, his legs tangled with mine pulling me impossibly closer. Gods I was going to go crazy.

Everywhere it went it seemed his reminders were there. The dagger I was using in training was the one Azriel had given me last solstice when mine had been snatched by an Attor. The laces on my boots were from his because apparently mine weren’t sturdy enough. 

“Where do you get your shoes from? These are awful quality” He asked, crouching down in front of me and taking his laces out to adjust them into my boots, all the while muttering about how I could have tripped and hurt myself. 

The coffee the cabin had made this morning on my command was made with a hint of cinnamon. Something Azriel had recommended to make the taste better. He was everywhere I went and it was driving me crazy.

He hadn't even mentioned last night once. Didn't even give me some sort of hint that he remembered or that it actually meant something to him. We had continued the day as if everything was normal, his biting remarks more constant and grating.

***

"We're going back on Monday" Azriel called out to me unwrapping the white gauze from his knuckles. I pulled out my dagger (yes the same one Azriel had gifted me) from the target piece of wood and frowned. Two days later? "Why aren't we going today?"

Azriel didn't look at me, instead he put his daggers in his belt making sure each one was in the proper position before replying "If I've said it there's probably a reason why. Do you have to ask questions every time?"

My frown deepened as I surveyed him from this distance. He had his wings folded together and his expression was foul as if a personal wrong had been done against him. So what if he was in a mood? Didn't mean he had to be so rude.

"I'm not going to follow your orders blindly. Tell me" I moved closer to him and stopped in front of him, the biting cold of the village hitting me now that I had stopped training. I waited for him to explain why we were spending any longer in a place like this. I yearned for the liveliness and warmth of Velaris. The golden sun beating down on me while I sat on the balcony and sipped on something cold.

We had been gone for one night and I know I was being dramatic but Azriel not giving me answers just annoyed the shit out of me even more.

He continued arranging his daggers and straightening his siphons until he deemed them perfect. Finally looking up to meet my eyes I could tell there was something wrong before he even opened his mouth. 

"There's a storm coming. It's not safe to fly tonight" His voice was controlled, as if he were trying to hide his emotions, his eyes not making direct contact with me.

I let out a scoff "And what? Winnowing doesn't exist anymore?" I knew the way I said it would rile him up. Yes I could have phrased it nicely but the way he was acting he didn't deserve it.

Eyes narrowing and his jaw clenching Azriel took a step closer to me. And then another until he was just inches away from me. His warmth radiated to me, my head having to tilt up slightly so I could look at his gorgeous face properly.

His voice was soft, the deadly stillness with which he stood unnerving me. "Velaris's shields have been compromised. Rhys is doing all he can from anyone finding out and if we break that balance. If we winnow in then that means the shield breaks." He scanned my features as if waiting for me to reply "Do you want the safety of all those people in jeopardy because of you?" His voice was quiet now, his breath blowing over me as he spoke.

A million thoughts invaded my mind as I thought of what he had stated. How had Velaris been compromised? And by who? And what was Rhys doing? I wondered if everyone back home was alright.

I took a deep breath trying not to get angry and understand the situation we were in “How long are we stuck here for?” 

It was Azriel’s turn to take a deep breath as if he knew the answer wouldn’t be one I wanted. “Minimum two more days''

Two whole days. I was going to go insane here. Either I would die from arguing with the brainless Illyrians or from hypothermia. A sudden blast of cold air hit me, reminding me of where I was stuck and who it was with. Sighing, I shook away my thoughts. I was being ungrateful. Azriel wasn’t so bad. And who knew what everyone else was going through. I opened my mouth to ask exactly that when he cut in “Everyone's fine. If it was serious we would have been called back for help whether the storm was brewing or not”

I nodded my head, the knot in my stomach loosening. As long as everyone was fine. Azriel nodded his head to the path that led to the cabin we were now sharing “You should go. I need to inform Keller of our prolonged stay”

I took it as his way of dismissing me and not wanting to talk to me. Turning around and starting down the frosted path, the warmth that engulfed me from Azriel's body evaporated completely, my footsteps quickening to reach the cabin. Slamming the cabin door shut I took out my hair tie and sat on the bed anger and disappointment flowing through me. The fire immediately started, the crackling sound the only noise in the wooden house. 

He was ignoring what had happened yesterday. He was being insufferable. He hadn’t even asked me, talked to me, mentioned it to me even once. I shifted through each word we had shared this morning and none of them consisted of him acknowledging last night. 

Azriel didn’t even tell me he wanted to forget last night, instead he let my imagination run wild on thinking if he regretted it or not. 

Maybe I was the over dramatic one. We hadn’t had sex, we hadn’t even kissed. But it felt like there was something else when he pulled me closer except for mutual dislike. 

Flopping back onto the soft bed I decided thinking of other things would do me some good. Anything other than Azriel at this point. 

Sitting up again and rifling through the side table drawers I finally found a slightly inky pen and a scrunched up piece of paper.

Hi Feyre, I heard what happened with the shield. I just wanted to check in and make sure everyone was fine. Give lots of kisses to Nyx from me. 

Ending the note with my name I vanished it away hoping Feyre would reply with some good news. In the time that I had done that Azriel walked in, flipping a dagger in his hand, his shadows moving slowly across his wings. I rolled my eyes at his arrogance and refused to start a conversation with him. If he could ignore what happened yesterday and act like it didn’t matter then so could I. I wasn’t going to act like an attention whore. No way. 

“What do you want to eat?” Was what he asked, settling into the armchair opposite me. I refused to look at him and instead let my eyes travel to the window where the sun was setting. 

“I’m not hungry” I finally replied when I could tell from his relentless gaze that he would not look away, his hazel eyes fixated on my every move, my every breath. 

A scoff escaped him and I turned to look at him, my eyes narrowed. Moving further back on to the bed I kicked off my boots and sat cross legged. 

“You’re always hungry at this time, don’t lie to me” Azriel stated. Raising an eyebrow and waiting for me to contradict him. I couldn’t. I was being annoying and difficult on purpose. Of course I was hungry. I hadn’t eaten since this morning.

Running a hand through his hair Azriel stood up and moved over to the small kitchen on the other side of the cabin. The cupboards contained any and every ingredient. I watched as he pulled out a different variety of ingredients and with the way he was looking at each one closely he didn’t know where to start. 

“Move. I’ll do it” I announced, getting off the bed and sliding across the floorboard to the mini kitchen. Azriel leaned sideways on the countertop, a slight smirk on his face as he watched me look at each ingredient. 

“What are you going to make?” He asked, clearly amused by something. Picking up the can of tomatoes I put them to the right, making a useful and bin category. 

“It doesn’t matter what I make, we both know you’re going to eat it” I replied, my eyebrows furrowed from concentration and the slight annoyance I held toward him. A sigh escaped his perfect lips as he folded his wings back 

“Why are you angry at me?”

I didn’t look at him, instead filled the metal pan with water and used my magic to heat it up. Once the bubbles had risen to the surface I added the raw pasta with a pinch of salt. 

“Y/n” His voice was sharp. Demanding. “Look at me” 

Finally turning to look at him my heart stopped beating for a good minute. Gods he was……he was something else. His warm eyes raked over my expression as if trying to find the reason for my annoyance, his lips looking as inviting as ever.

“What?” My voice didn’t come out as strong as I wanted to, instead it came out quiet and breathless. 

“What have I done wrong?” Azriel’s voice was softer than I expected, reminding me of last night. 

I decided to take the leap. I had had enough of evading the truth “You’re acting like last night didn’t happen. You’re ignoring me” 

Rather than an annoying smirk or a laugh coming from Azriel his eyebrows furrowed “I didn’t want you to feel like I expected something of you. And gods knows I can’t ignore you y/n. You’re perfect”

I let out an exasperated sigh, the steam from the boiling water making it warmer than it was before “I thought you wanted to forget about it. I’m not inside your brain Azriel”

Anger was there in his eyes but it vanished as soon as he saw my hurt expression “I’ve wanted you for so long. Every time I look at you I'm reminded that you aren’t mine. Every time you smile my heart beats faster and I don’t even know why” I swallowed at his words. What he was saying. 

He had liked me this whole time and I hadn't even realized. We were both as ignorant as each other. It was now or never.

“Make me yours then Azriel” I whispered back, waiting to see what he would say. His hands tilted my chin up and his lips met mine in the softest kiss possible. Moving his hands to my waist he lifted me up and sat me on the counter, slotting himself between my legs. Automatically my hands went to his curly hair, pulling him impossibly closer. 

The world had something against me I thought as the note I had sent Feyre arrived next to me. Azriel moved slightly back, giving me space to breathe. I didn't want that space but I didn’t say anything. I picked up the note and read it out loud, confusion increasing.

Hi y/n, 

Nyx says he misses you lots and wants you to come back. Everyone’s alright here, same as when you left. 

I’m not sure what you mean by the shield though? Is everything alright?

Putting the note down I slid off the marble top and looked at Azriel, hoping for answers. 

“Does Feyre not know about-” 

He cut me off, his hand against my mouth, startling me. His body pressed against mine, my back against the kitchen counter. 

“I lied. I wanted to stay with you for as long as possible. I would ask for your forgiveness but I’m not sorry for what I’ve done” His eyes twinkled with amusement, his deep voice washing over me. It took me a while to understand what he was actually saying, his proximity short circuiting my brain. He removed his hand waiting for me to reply. 

“Anything else you’ve lied about Shadowsinger?” I finally asked, my words coming out quietly.

His head dipped to my neck, his lips pressing small kisses on my collarbone and making his way up to my jaw. 

“I broke the cabin. I also fucked up that guy who called you a whore. Other than that…I’m an honest male” He murmured. My breath hitched as he attacked my skin, clearly wanting to leave a mark there. His hands had me caged, with no escape and I didn’t have it in me to be mad at him for lying. Yes he had broken the cabin. But if he hadn’t we wouldn’t have spent the night together and I would have never realized that Azriel harboured feelings for me. He had also gone out of his way to defend me when he didn’t need to.

I wanted to kiss him rather than shout at him for his confession. 

“I say we skip to dessert” Azriel whispered, his eyes full of desire, finally looking at me. My heart skipped a beat at his words but I swallowed and shook away my want for him. 

“Dessert is for after” I pushed against his chest to let me go but he held my wrists firmly “Promise I get dessert?”

I pretended to think about it, tilting my head “Hmm we’ll see”

Azriel’s eyes darkened but he let me go, my stomach tightening at the way he looked at me. I wanted him so bad. So god damn bad. But now that I had told him to wait I couldn’t go back on my words. Not to mention Azriel was probably already thinking of ways to make me beg for him.

I wouldn’t mind that of course.

MASTERLIST

[misc-obeyme]

prompt: RAD

a/n: It has come to my attention that the advent calendar prompts can be done in any order. So I thought it'd be fun to let a random wheel choose the prompt of the day! Sorry, Levi, I'll get to you later, I promise. Today the wheel gave me RAD, so I decided to do a little holiday inspired scene that takes place in RAD. But of course I wrote about Barbatos because I couldn't help myself. I love him, okay? Also I know I'm a day behind, I'll double up one of these days lol. @om-adventcalendar

Barbatos x GN!MC

Warnings: I mean only that it's almost embarrassingly fluff.

You walked into the great hall of RAD and paused to take in the scene. Clusters of poinsettias were placed evenly around the wall of the room, thick red and green ribbon with gold trim draped between them. On a ladder, Barbatos was securing the final bouquet. You saw sprigs of evergreen nestled among the red flowers, along with some tiny white Devildom flowers you didn't know the name of.

Barbatos's uniform jacket and gloves were draped across a nearby chair. You moved to the base of the ladder, looking up at his lean but strong figure. His nimble fingers wrapped the ribbon easily and you saw a little glimmer of magic, likely to hold everything in place.

Although the decorations made the whole place brighter and more festive, you were captivated by the butler himself. The way he gracefully descended the ladder, lithe as a cat, only to stand beside you with a slight smile. He was unsurprised to see you there.

"Where did you get poinsettias like that?" you asked. "Are they real?"

"They are real," he said, eyes sparkling in amusement.

"Do you have a supplier in the human world or something?" you asked.

Barbatos shook his head. "While I certainly could have obtained them that way, I wanted to try my hand at growing them myself. Poinsettias would not normally survive in the darkness of the Devildom, however with the help of a certain sorcerer, I was able to use part of the castle's greenhouse to create an artificial environment for them to grow."

"Why would you go through all that trouble when you could just buy some?" you asked.

Barbatos glanced up at the flowers. "I was able to grow regular specimens, but I wished to grow a Devildom variant as well."

Your eyes widened. "A Devildom variant? Is that what these are?"

"Indeed," Barbatos said.

You squinted at the bunch nearest you. "They don't look any different to me," you said.

Barbatos walked across the room, as if he was going to leave. You followed him in curiosity. He stopped before exiting and turned off the lights.

The room was plunged into darkness, but it lasted for only a moment as your eyes adjusted. You quickly realized that the poinsettias were glowing, a magical red and green light.

"I do believe lights are also a common festive decoration in the human world," Barbatos said.

You turned to him and the way the colors danced in his eyes felt hypnotic. "It's beautiful," you said. "As usual, you've really outdone yourself."

Barbatos took your hand. He still wasn't wearing his gloves and you couldn't deny the tingle in your fingers as your skin met his. He bent over your hand, looking up at you for a moment. "Your opinion is the one I cherish most. I thought of you every time I tended to these plants. I must say it was well worth the effort."

You could feel yourself blushing, but you somehow managed to retain your composure. Until Barbatos pressed his lips to the back of your hand. Then you couldn't help but laugh softly.

"Come on, stop it," you said.

When Barbatos straightened, his smile was mischievous and he pulled you toward him, letting go of your hand to wrap his arms around you instead. "Whatever do you mean, MC?"

You didn't even bother to answer the question, but it didn't matter because of course he already knew the answer. Instead, you kissed him there in the soft green and red lights.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[episodes-ff]

Grateful Days

Armando

Sitting in my bed, I moped and grimaced at how shitty everything has turned over the past few days. I’m still truly upset about the failed proposal, but more than anything I’m upset with myself for how I handled it. After sobering up, it finally sank in how royally I messed up things. Staring at my phone as I waited for the possibility of her call, I sighed realizing that it was me who should be doing the apologizing. I don’t even know how I could allow myself to say such hurtful things to my heart like that. Shaking my head as I remembered the words, I decided it was high time I be the bigger person and go win my woman back.

Taking a nice hot shower, I collected my thoughts and feelings and came up with a genuine approach of apology. Stepping out, I quickly dried off and began dressing as the panicked nerves set in at the possibility of losing her forever. Pulling on my pants, I stressed looking for a decent shirt before settling on a grey long sleeve and placing on my chain. Making sure I looked presentable and smelled good for her, I started searching for my keys as more hope rose within me. Still looking for my keys, I heard a knock at the front door. “Mike, will you drop it? I already told you I’m fi-“ “Hi.” She spoke not making eye contact as she twiddled her fingers. “Hey, um come in, come in!” I rushed allowing her entry as I straightened up some loose clothes. Taking a seat on the couch, I sat next to her and as she waited awkwardly to speak. “I need to tell you something.” “No, me first.” I insisted taking her hands into mine.

“Diamonté, I am so deeply sorry for what I said to you that night. It replays over and over again and it makes me sick to my stomach that I even uttered something so hurtful to you. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I barely deserve to be in your presence right now, but trust me when I say I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart. I truly regret the decision I made and if you don’t ever want to see me again, I’ll have to find a way to live with it. I just wanted to express that.” I recited as she sat looking down at our hands. Watching her knee bounce nervously, she burst into tears as I hugged her in concern. “Shit, I’m sorry, Dee, I didn’t mean to make you cry, bebita.” I hushed rocking her back and forth in my arms. Sniffling, she wiped her eyes before pulling back to look at me. “Armando, I’m pregnant.” She panted breathlessly as her tears continued to fall.

“You are?” I murmured happily as I took hold of her chin. Nodding, she wiped more of her tears. “I was supposed to tell you that night but when you proposed I got so nervous that I threw up. That’s why I ran off. I meant what I said about my answer being yes.” Holding her cheek in my hand, I smiled kissing her forehead as I started to cry. “You forgive me for being an idiot?” “Yes, you forgive me for not speaking up?” “Of course, baby, come here.” Meeting my lips, we shared a longing and meaningful kiss as I embraced her and rubbed her back. “How far along is the baby?” “I’m not sure yet. The first appointment is in a week.” “Are you excited?” I asked earning her sweet laugh. “Yes, I want a little girl.” She smiled as I coasted my hand across her stomach. “I do too.” I simpered before leaning down to kiss her lips again. “One more question.” I asked nervously. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Armando.” She smirked as I chuckled and went to grab the ring. “Good because you had me waiting long enough to put this on your finger.” I joked as I slid it in place on her left hand. Standing up, she hugged me tightly and kissed me once more making my heart skip a beat. “Now my turn to ask.” “Sí, mi vida?” “Can you please come back home so your son can stop asking where you are?” She huffed as I laughed nodding. “Of course, my baby.”

Terry

“Baby, get up! You’re too heavy for all this!” Anaya whined as I ignored her requests and got more comfortable on top of her. Today is one of my first full days off and I’m taking all the advantage I can get. Baby girl is fed and sound asleep in her crib, the bills are all paid, I’m not on call, and it’s not my night to cook. Yeaaaa, I’m gonna enjoy this. Or at least I had hoped I would. “Terry, get up or so help me God, imma smack you.” “You wouldn’t dare, Anaya.” I groaned deeply as I started to doze off in the soft pillows of her breasts. Feeling a hard sting to the back of my head, I shot her a deadly glare as she cackled. “Don’t give me that look, I told your heavy ass to move. Now get up so I can pee.” She fussed like a proud mama before getting up and twisting hard to the bathroom causing me to laugh. “Stop doing that stank ass walk.” “You love it though.” She countered from the commode as I shook my head.

Shutting my eyes once more, I felt the sweet and supple warmth of sleep taking over my body before being rudely interrupted by Anaya’s antics. “Baeeeee.” She whined grinding on me as I groaned. “Anayaaaa, I’m tryna sleep. Damnnnn.” “Fine, if you don’t love me just say that.” She spat moving to the other side of the bed. Clenching my jaw, I yanked her over to me by her nightgown and hovered over her face. Leaning down to her ear, I caressed her cheek with my hand before gently wrapping it around her throat. “Anaya, this the last time imma say it. I’m trying to get my rest and all this moving around and shit finna piss me the fuck off. I’m asking as nicely as possible, baby, just take a nap with me. Please?” Nodding slowly, I sighed before releasing her neck and cuddling back up to her chest while closing my eyes. “Put me to sleep, Daddy.” She purred softly rubbing my scalp as my eyes shot open.

** HOURS LATER**

“Ouuu, baby, let’s get these! I think they’d go nice with the room.” Nodding groggily, I followed aimlessly as she pointed out different items decorate the house. After putting Anaya to “sleep”, we napped for a good 45 minutes before she got hit with the home decor bug and she insisted that we needed to get supplies to finish the house. We are now three stores deep with no sign of retreat, and Daddy and baby Maya are completely over the experience. “Bae, you’re not even looking!” “Anaya, we have more than enough time to finish the house. Why can’t we just chill today?” Giving me the death glare, I smacked my teeth following her with the cart as she continued to shop. Turning into an aisle, I realized I forgot to grab water for the house and tried excusing myself to go and grab it. “Bae, I gotta grab water, you and Maya gone be okay for a few minutes?” “Yea, baby we’re fine.” “Aight, keep your phone close in case.” Nodding, she kissed me goodbye and I made my way to my destination.

Grabbing what I needed, I headed back to our original aisle before halting as I heard a guy. Peeking around to where they were, I noticed an older man standing too close as Anaya frowned up in anger holding Maya to her chest. “Look I’m not gonna tell you again to back the fuck up.” “We got a problem?” “Nah, young buck, I was just-“ “I believe I was asking her.” “No, it’s fine. He was just leaving.” She said putting Maya in the cart as he huffed in disapproval. “Will you just hear me out?” He asked grabbing her arm when I lost it. Setting the water down, I yanked him off his feet before holding him up to the shelving of the aisles. “Nah, motherfucka, you hear me out!” I seethed as Anaya cried for me to stop. “If you ever set foot near my wife and child again, I fucking promise you it’ll be the last thing you do!” I spat as my blood boiling more and more just thinking about this clown touching my lady.

“Terry, stop! Please! Just put him down.” She pleaded as I glared him down icily. “Gimme one good reason I shouldn’t fuck yo shit up right here.” “She’s my daughter.” He heaved out as I looked at her for confirmation. “He’s my dad, Terry. Just put him down.” Setting him down slowly, I faced her as she rubbed my arms and calmed my anger. “Explain, Anaya.” “He skipped out when I was two years old and it’s been just my mom and I ever since. Apparently he’s been living here in Miami so this run-in was not at all anticipated.” Nodding as I absorbed her words, I further calmed down as we exited the aisle, checked out, and went home. Relaxing day my ass.

Thank y’all for being so patient with me! The scene with Anaya and Terry was inspired by this video so I hope y’all enjoy.

Tags (Based on interactions, if you’d like to be added or removed let me know): @violetmuses @believeinthefireflies95 @brisunique @kaylaahisthebestest- @madxlov3 @armandosbabymama @casualsludgeshoetoad @mauvecherie-writes @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @theereina @kumkaniudaku @geneziesm @megamindsecretlair @simpledopeme @goldenjasssy @vivaalenaa @playgurlxoxo @ghettogirly @luuvprincess @perfectlyimperfectme @tbmotw @comfortzonequeen @melanin-honeyy @strawberrymoon45 @luckygirlszn @kindofaintrovert

[luza-wayne]

why people bother with love.

sawamura daichi x reader

wc: 9.2k

this is the longest fic that i've ever written, omg. i love daichi sm<33

also the story is inspired by taylor swift's song 'mine'! i was listening to it while on shuffle playlist and thought it was so good.

a happy and lovely family.

it's the farthest from what your family was.

all your parents did was fight at every little thing that can be talked through.

it was also the reason why you and your siblings are not close with each other. they hide or run away whenever they're fighting, which means, always.

but, they did tell you once.

“they were so deeply in love with each other in the past.”

so, just in the past?

i don't understand.

“then, you shouldn't have spent it on useless things!” 

your father's voice made your ears ring. it's in the middle of the night.

they're fighting again. 

this is supposed to be a day for me. i just graduated from elementary school today.

“useless?! you call that useless?!” your mother shouted back.

you decided to get off of the bed and silently walk to where the voices are coming from, the kitchen.

“of course, it is!” your father replied.

“our daughter just graduated and you're saying that buying her a small gift is useless?!” your mother asked.

i knew it. it's about that.

you peeked from the opening in the living room which was connected to the kitchen.

“just tell her ‘congratulations!’ or anything! why bother spending money?! we're not rich!” your father rebutted.

“are you hearing yourself right now, huh?” your mother snickered. “what are you even mad about? it's not even over ¥500?”

“you could've used that ¥500 for something more important! like food stocks or bills!” 

“her, graduating is important! don’t you dare not acknowledge your daughter’s milestone!”

maybe i should just give them back a ¥500 that i saved from my daily allowance? would that stop them from fighting?

“arhg! you and your obtuse actions!” your father slammed the counter with his balled fist.

“what?! you're one to talk! that stupid "friend" of yours who always borrows money from you! where is he now, huh? out there partying and spending the money you lent him! what did he say? "i'll give it back tomorrow!" i never once saw him return the money he borrows, yet you keep on giving and giving him! what are you, a bank?!” your mother snapped.

“shut up!” your father shouted and clicked his tongue. “you always bring that up! you're always like that! i'm tired of you already!”

“guess who's tired of you too?” your mother crossed her arms and stared at your father blankly.

“is that so? then i'm leaving and never going back here!” your father had enough and walked out.

he met your eyes and was surprised for a bit, but he continued walking to the front door.

you looked at your mother.

she still had her arms crossed above her chest, but she clenched her hands tightly and was biting on her lower lip.

“mom, are you not going to run after dad?” you stepped out from hiding.

your mother flinched, but she quickly realized that you must've heard the whole conversation already.

“why would i? it was his decision to leave! i don't care about him anymore! i'm glad i finally got tired of his ass!” she said and went to get water.

what? 

you say that, but why do you look so hurt?

“your hands are quivering, mom.”

as your eyebrows furrowed, you heard the engine starting. you look at the door's direction and run towards it. when you stepped out, you saw your father just hopped on his mini truck.

he saw you running to him. he rolled his window down.

“dad, when are you coming back?” you asked him.

he just smiled achingly at you.

“sorry.” he muttered. you, confused, tilted your 

“don't worry, i'd still be there for you, siblings.” he shortly answered.

“what about mom?” you questioned.

“i don't care anymore. i can't bring myself to love her anymore. sorry.” he said and grabbed the steering wheel tightly. he then said goodbye and drove off.

i don't understand.

“they were so deeply in love with each other in the past.”

did their love for each other fade away?

i really don't understand…

love…

“why does everyone bother with it if it never lasts?”

why do we need to fall in love, just to experience the anguish of losing the feeling of it?

•••

“hurry! hurry! their match is already starting!” your friend pulls your hand, as you follow her lead.

“okay, okay.” you answered with no enthusiasm.

what am i going to do there anyways? i don't even know the rules in volleyball.

“why are we watching a boys volleyball game in the first place?” you asked her.

“it's our school's team! they can represent miyagi in the spring high tournament, if they win against the team they're playing today.” she said,

okay, still didn't anyways why we should be here.

when you two reached the bleachers, your other classmates waved at you and pointed at the seat they reserved for you both.

the first set just finished when you arrived. you just used the cheering megaphone they handed you and just created some noise as the players walked on the court.

“kageyama-sama, do your best!” you heard your friend scream her heart out.

that answers my question. also, what do you mean, "-sama"? you're older than him, right?

you sighed and just continued cheering.

the umpire blew the whistle and signaled that the second set was starting. you watched as a guy with bowl-cut from the opposing team serves.

your eyes widened a bit seeing how hard he serves, you were so sure no one could receive it.

but, the guy was there to break your thoughts.

he easily receives it, making your eyes widened even more.

as soon as he received it, they ran towards the net and he hit the ball over the other team, earning them the first point of the set.

wow. 

your mouth hangs open.

“h-hey,” you called for your friend's attention. “who was that?”

“who? the one who sets?! that's kageyama! he's a firs—”

“no, the one who hits the ball.” you immediately stopped her.

“oh, that's the captain, sawamura daichi, from class 4. i think he's friends with sugawara too.” she answered shortly, now that the topic is not kageyama anymore.

number 1… that means he's the captain, right?

the match continued and they won the set. they lost the third, but won the fourth.

you were hanging on your seat as the set, supposed to be just 15, goes over to 20 and you cling to your friend tightly as the final whistle was heard and karasuno was declared the winner.

“wah! kageyama-sama, congratulations!” your friend bawled out.

“he's amazing too, right?” you said as you clapped, seeing sawamura receive the trophy.

“of course! he's kageyama-sama's teammate, after all!” she said, still dragging kageyama to the conversation.

when it was time to move out, your friend said she needed to go to the toilet, so you went there with her.

as you two passed the entrance to the gym floor, you saw the black uniforms standing there.

oh, they're here.

“sugawara!” your friend suddenly shouted, calling for your classmates' attention. almost all of them looked in your direction. “congratulations!” she said,

“oh! thanks!” sugawara replied, waving his hand in the air with a big smile.

you thought you might as well congratulate your classmate.

“congratulations, sugawara.” you said, not as loud as your friend's voice, but enough for him to hear.

“ah! (y/n), thanks!” he thanked you.

you two then bowed to them and continued to go to the bathroom, all while your friend celebrated that he got kageyama's attention earlier too.

“okay, i got it already. just go and hurry up.” you shut her up when you reached the comfort room.

you just walked to a close bench to the bathroom and took a seat, waiting patiently for your friend to finish.

“hey,” you heard a voice say.

you're not sure whether they're talking to you or not, but you looked up at where it came from.

“you're…” you started and stood on your feet. “sawamura, right?”

“uh, yeah. i'm sawamura.” he said as he reached for his nape and rubbed it with his palms awkwardly.

“you were so awesome in the game earlier. congrats.” you told him and smiled.

“thanks. i actually think i look unsightly during the game, especially when i'm just running and moving on fumes.” he replied sheepishly.

“well, the fact that you think that and yet you still do it just shows how passionate you are about winning.” you uttered. “still, don't worry. you look cool.” you reassured him.

“really? that's a relief.” he said and sighs relievedly.

there was a few seconds of silence after that and you just stared at each other.

“um… why did you… uhm, approach me?” you asked.

he suddenly gets a bit of tint pink shade on his cheeks, that can be easily missed if you were not looking carefully. maybe the reason, you noticed it also was the fact that his bruised on his left cheeks got your attention.

“well, you see… we won against shiratorizawa.” he started and you hummed. “so, we're already qualified for the spring high, i was just wondering if you'll be watching there too.” he asked.

“why? is my presence needed there?” you confusedly asked, making him chortle.

“for me, it definitely does, haha.” he answered, straightforwardly.

it skipped a beat. my heart just did.

i know these feelings very well. it's the feeling i swore not to follow.

i know where these feelings would bring me to.

“i see. i'll look forward to it then.”

i should've declined back then.

•••

“ever since you moved here, it never got quiet here anymore!”

your old woman neighbor is once again shouting in front of your house. 

she's always there and she always just does it whenever sawamura is at work or out for something. it was easy to know since she knows he's a police officer and the police car is not in the parking lot.

you continued to bite your lower lip. 

trying to stop yourself from shouting back at the old woman was harder than you thought.

the neighbors said she has a mental disorder, but still her voice. her voice can easily break a plate or two.

normally, you would just ignore her until she leaves, but today you're not like those days. your menstruation started this morning, and the blood got onto the sheets, so you had changed it. 

moving around irritates you, but you had no choice but to do the chores, before your husband arrives, since it's just you two in the house and you're off to work today.

speaking of your husband, you looked at the clock and saw the time.

‘where are you?’ ‘your shift should've finished a while ago.’ ‘can you go home already?’

you stared at your phone and waited for him to reply, but he didn't. you just stood up and went to the kitchen.

ah, she left. you thought as you managed to peek outside the window while you walked to the kitchen.

thank goodness, finally.

“guess, i should reheat this.” you muttered to yourself and sighed.

you placed the dinner you cooked, inside the microwave. as you wait for it, you remembered that you haven't looked at the mail today yet.

you hurriedly went outside and opened the mailbox.

“huh?” you were surprised to see the mails filled with bills that needed to be paid.

you groaned as you held the envelopes in hand.

it's the same envelope you receive every month, but somehow these envelopes are more irritating to you right now. 

you just closed the mailbox and went inside. you one by one looked through the mail, while you walked back to the kitchen.

and every time you open one, your mood gets worse and worse.

“huh?! why is it so expensive?!” you shouted at the bill you're holding.

we need to spend our money more wisely, even if we're both working.

*ping*

you heard the microwave's sound go off. you immediately took it out forgetting to put on a mitt or even a pot holder.

“ouch!” you screamed. you hurriedly went to the sink and ran the water on it. “damn, what am i doing?”

“i'm home.” sawamura announced as soon as he stepped in.

he's home?!

“argh! wait–” you speed walked to the main door and saw your husband. “welc–” 

you stopped mid-sentence when you saw what he's holding.

“uh, i saw a friend of mine while on my way home, that's why i was late, so i thought i should get you something.” he said and extended his arms, a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

you accepted it, staring at it with a forced smile.

“don't like it?” he asked as he kissed your temple and walked to the living room.

you followed him, still looking at the flowers.

“no… it's just—” you sighed. “you didn't have to buy something this expensive…” you muttered.

“so, you don't like it?” he asked as he took off his uniform.

“no, it's not like that. i'm saying you shouldn't have spent the money on something useless—” you said, but decided to just cut yourself off.

you sighed. “thank you, dai.” walking up to him to hug him.

he returned the embrace, but he knew something was wrong.

we could’ve used the money to pay off our bills instead. you thought as you let go from the hug.

sawamura, puzzled, still decided to just give you a bit of space and not to pry yet. he went to take a short shower, while you prepared the table.

while waiting for him to join you, you looked at the envelopes you were just looking at earlier. your eyes then went back to the bouquet that’s now sitting on the center table in the living room.

you breathed deeply.

am i getting ungrateful for not appreciating his effort on buying that?

you got on your feet and went to get it. 

staring at it, you finally realized how pretty it was. also, it’s your favorite flower.

you can’t remember when was the last time you mentioned to him what your favorite flower was. 

was it when we were on our first date?

you chuckled.

“that guy really knows how to put butterflies in my stomach.”

suddenly, you felt two cold arms wrapped around your waist. you felt him snuggle his nose on your nook of neck.

“dai, stop it. i'm reeking of sweat.” you chortled as you felt a bit tickled by his now growing stubble.

he buried his nose deeper and even inhaled your scent like a man who just regained his sense of smell.

“smells like a pheromone for me.” he replied and lifted you up. 

hooking his arms behind your knees and walking to the table. he sat you down on the chair and took a seat adjacent to yours.

as he was about to scoop rice for both of you, you reached out to his cheeks and gave him a peck. he was taken aback, but then smiled at you. he held your hand on his cheeks and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it.

“thank you for the flowers, dai.” you told him.

“anything for you, babe.” he answered.

maybe i was just thinking a bit too much about our bills. i should just appreciate that he got me these flowers.

…

“mrs. sawamura, please redo this.” your team leader sternly said.

you looked up from your desk and met with an eyes burning and a face that’s barely containing their anger.

“yes?” you asked while your hand was holding the lunch you were about to eat at the canteen.

“there are a lot of inaccurate reports and miscalculated estimates. what are you even doing? do you want our team to lose this project because of you?” she added and slammed the folder on your desk.

“but—” none of those are my jobs though.

i might probably have to add this to my piles of to-do work.

she was about to walk away, when she suddenly looked back.

“and i want them done today.” she said lastly, before walking back to her posts and leaving you with wide eyes.

all of this by today?!

“there’s no way i can finish this today.” you whispered and slumped your back to the chair.

i might need to stay for over time.

as you set your lunch box down on your desk, your phone vibrated. you pulled it out of your vest’s pocket and saw a message notification from your younger sister, who’s in college.

- we’re running out of mom’s medication. - she’s always staring and thinking about a lot of things, i’m afraid it might turn into depression. - and brother’s med maintenance too. - it’ll only last until tomorrow. - we need extra money, but i already used my income from my part-time job to pay off the debts when i borrowed money from my friend to pay for my tuition. she said she badly needed the money. -if you have extra money, can you send us some for your mother and brother? - i’ll try asking someone too.

you let out a frustrated sigh. you grit your teeth and lower your head.

just how bad will this day get?

you repositioned your body. taking deep breaths. you picked up your phone again and replied to your sister.

- no, it’s fine. i have some extra here. i received a bonus yesterday. i’ll send it to you and pay for the remaining balance on your tuition too. don’t forget their meds. let me know how much all in total. thanks for always looking out for them. take care there.

you put down your phone and covered your face with your hands.

well, there goes my bonus. i still haven’t paid for the other bills that i’m supposed to pay for.

“(y/n), you okay?” your workmate asked.

you just nodded and told him you’re okay.

i need to save money.

…

hours have passed since your supposed time to go home, but here you are redoing the whole project that wasn’t even your doing, yet forced to redo so.

“this… is wrong. who the hell put it here?” you said to yourself and immediately fixed it.

thankfully, you are already almost done with it. just a bit more and you can already give it to your team leader. she seemed to stay late too and was working on another project.

that doesn’t mean she should have me revise these mistakes when i wasn't even the one who did it.

“and… there! all done!” you raised your arms in the air and stretched your back.

“finally!” you expressed slumping your body to the chair with relief.

you immediately went to pass it to your leader. she didn’t even bother looking up at you and just said a monotone of “good work, you can go home now.” but, you could care less at this moment, you just want to get it over with and go home and take a bath and sleep.

as you were arranging your belongings, you remembered that you turned your phone off, in order to concentrate more.

you slid your bag on your shoulder and walked to the elevator. you waited for the phone to turn on. you’re the only one inside, so your mind wandered off while waiting to reach the ground floor and for your phone.

should i get a part time job too? ever since my brother got caught up in a motorcycle accident, it feels like money has been slipping out the moment i got them on my hands. 

you heard a ping and the door finally opened, the same time as your phone turned on too. while walking to the door, your notifications got bombed with messages from your husband.

…

- can’t wait to have dinner with you <3 - i think i might arrive a bit earlier than our call time - the chief will let us out early today - i’ll be waiting for you, but you don’t have to rush, okay? - are you on ‘do not disturb’ mode? - okay, you might be busy right now - good luck on your work, i love you

- i just got out, i’ll be passing by the house for a moment to change the car and maybe take a quick shower too - still no reply? :( - don’t overwork yourself too much please - i’ll be driving so i might not see your reply - i love you

- i’m on my way to the resto - i’m so excited haha - i’ll be waiting there for you - i’ll be sure to drive safely, because that’s what you always say when i say i’m about to drive - see you there, i love you

- i’m here already, but no need to rush - i’m just early by half an hour - just let me know if you’re seeing these messages - be safe on your way here, i love you

- hey, it’s been two hours already - are you still tied up with your work? - let me know if i should wait for you or pick you up at your work - i can still wait for you though - please reply, babe - i’m getting a bit worried now - reply to me please, i love you

- i just contacted your colleague - he told me you’re staying overtime to finish some things, but couldn’t you tell me sooner? - i’m still waiting here for about four hours now - i’m going home now - at least reply to me once you’ve seen this

…

oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! i completely forgot about our dinner!

you hurriedly ran to call a taxi, knowing that the train was about to close by the time.

i knew something important slipped my mind earlier! i can’t believe it was the date with my husband!

you told the driver the destination of your travel, while also asking him if he can make it so you will arrive faster there. of course, he said he can’t drive recklessly, but he’ll try to drive faster.

while the taxi driver did his job, you tried to reply to your daichi. you explained that you had your phone off, that's why you didn’t receive his messages. the thing is, your messages are going through but he’s not responding to your message.

gosh, i think he’s really mad. what should i do when i get home? we can just have another dinner. ugh, it’s too pricey. you sighed.

after a few minutes, the taxi finally arrived at the street of your house. you told him it’s okay to drop you off here and paid him. while walking to your house, your stomach churns with anxiety as you might find daichi mad.

as you reached your gated house, you searched for your keys only for you to realize that you didn’t bring it with you when you left the house. you contemplated whether to call daichi and have him open the gate for you or just jump over the gate.

while thinking, you suddenly heard the clicking sounds of the gate being opened. you turn around to see your husband in his shorts and t-shirt. he’s not in his night wear yet, so he must’ve been doing some work in his office, just like what he usually does when he gets some free time after eating dinner, though it usually doesn't take this long for him to do those works.

“o-oh, you’re still awake? i didn’t wake you up, right?” you asked, trying not to make it awkward.

“no.” he flatly said. 

he finally opened the gate and then waited for you to step inside, without uttering another word. you walked to the front door and opened it, going inside. you left the door open for him.

you set your coat on the rack and followed daichi with your eyes as he closed the front door and walked past you after throwing the keys in the bowl. you also saw your keys there.

i knew it he’s mad.

you walked to the living room to see him opening the television and munching on some chips. seeing this, you felt your stomach grumble. you went to the kitchen and found a bowl of some hot miso soup. your stomach felt even hungrier.

but, i need to talk to dai. you closed your eyes and accepted your hunger later.

you were about to walk to where daichi was when he suddenly stood up and went to the bathroom. he also took a towel, so it seems like he’ll take a shower.

guess, i should eat first then.

…

after eating and washing the dishes, since it’s only the ones you eat with anyways, you went to change your clothes hurriedly, in case daichi finishes his shower already.

when you went back to the living room, there you saw him sitting on the couch, eyes glued to the television. 

you walked to him and called his name.

“dai.” he didn’t look at you.

“dai. i forgot about our dinner.” you said and took a seat next to him, he looked at you.

i should just explain it to him and get this over with.

“our team leader was being a little bitchy earlier and gave me work i’m not even supposed to do, so i turned off my phone—” you were telling him about what happened earlier, when he suddenly cut you off.

“is it that hard to remember to tell me that you’re taking an overtime?” he stated. staring at you with a straight face.

“huh?” you asked, deflecting his straightforwardness.

“i’m pissed off that you made me wait for about four hours, but i’m more pissed about the fact that you can’t even tell me that you’re having overtime.” he uttered.

it’s like something just snapped in your mind. you know you’re the one who should apologize for forgetting about your date and even making him wait. but, it must’ve been the awful day that you had that’s getting the best of you right now.

“why is it such a big thing to tell you about that?” you asked him with a stress on the word ‘big thing’.

he furrowed your brows and was taken aback by your question. did you really just ask him why is that a big thing?

he stood up and was still not breaking eye contact with you.

“maybe it’s because i’m your husband, (y/n).” he answered back, now emphasizing his words. “of course, i need to know because i get worried why you aren’t back yet when your working hours are already done.” 

you raised your eyebrow.

“if you were that worried, then you should’ve come to my workplace and checked up on me.” you said and then stood up too, facing him.

“i was about to, when your co-worker replied to me and said you already have taken an overtime and possibly forgotten about our reservation!” he rebutted, his voice getting louder.

“then it's good timing! that was a waste of money anyways, we can always just eat somewhere cheap!” you shouted back.

“it’s you who wanted to eat there!” he pointed at you.

“i never said that! it’s you who wanted to take me there!” you told him and took a step forward.

“why are you always pushing the blame onto someone else whenever you're up against a corner?!” he gritted through his teeth.

“huh?! when did i ever do that—” you were about to talk when he talked over you.

and it was when you realized this is going like what happened with your parents.

“you never owe up to your mistakes, i always try to understand you because i love you, but (y/n), i’m a human too! i have a limit!” he started.

“wha—” before you could even finish, he added something that breaks your heart.

“i’m tired of you always being like that!” he said and stormed off to the bedroom.

you stood there in the middle of the living room speechless. 

your world seems to be spinning yet you’re not paying attention to it, you're more focused on the heavy feeling on your chest. it’s so heavy, it feels like your heart has fallen to your stomach and now you can feel the churning of it too.

your legs felt wobbly, you had no choice but to sit back down on the couch. your hand found its way to your chest.

it hurts here.

your eyesight started becoming watery.

“you’re always like that! i’m tired of you already!” “guess who’s tired of you too?” “is that so? then i’m leaving and never going back here!”

no! stop, stop, stop, stop!

don’t think about what happened to mom and dad!

“then i’m leaving and never going back here!”

stop! please!

you know daichi won’t leave you, right?!

he won’t leave you!

he won’t leave you!

he won’t.

…right?

i just have to apologize—

“they were so deeply in love with each other in the past.”

no…

i still love daichi!

stop thinking like that!

with all these thoughts, you didn’t even realize how much you’re crying, but somehow not making any sounds. your body is still adapted to your childhood habit of immediately covering your mouth and nose when crying in order not to let anyone hear it.

it’s a habit that started the night you realized that you’re the reason why your parents have broken off. if you didn’t ask your mother for a gift that day, then there might be a chance that your family is still together.

your body slid and now you’re lying on the couch sideways, still covering your mouth and nose.

i still love daichi.

but, daichi’s tired of me already.

i knew love never lasts, but i thought it might be different with daichi. i was too naive to think love would treat me differently than my parents.

everything comes and goes.

in the end, it was a cycle.

not the love, but what happened with my parents’ love story and mine.

it will never last. love is.

…

waiting for a bit until you stopped crying, you picked up your coat again and put it on. you were about to take your keys, but realized you don’t need it anymore. before leaving, you remembered one thing. you walked back to the living room and took off your ring, setting it down on the table, all while holding back your tears again.

daichi’s the type to sleep his anger until he calmed down, so you didn’t have to think that he might pop out suddenly and ask you where are you going.

you have already booked a taxi to take you somewhere that might not be a safe haven for you, but still has a deep hold to you.

“can you take me here?” you said to the driver and he said he can and then quietly drove you there.

you turned your phone off to avoid someone calling you. you slept on your way there and when you felt the car stop for a bit too long, you immediately opened your eyes. a bittersweet smile appeared on your face as you stared at the house from the window.

you thanked the driver and hopped out of the taxi. you stood in front of the house unlighted because it’s already midnight, though to you it looked more gloomy rather than creepy.

one of the rooms is still with lights on, you grabbed your phone and messaged your sister. a few moments later, she was out of the house, wearing her pajamas, surprised to find her sister out of the house in the middle of the night.

as much as how surprised she was, she knew it was out of ordinary for you to show up in front of the house on a random day. she knew you had your reasons, but never forced you to tell her about it. it’s not like you’ll travel for about three hours just to visit them, just because you thought about it, what’s more it’s in the middle of the night.

she helped you get your room ready, she can see from your eyes that you needed to rest your body and mind. when it was already done, you thanked her and encouraged her about the plates she’s finishing, that's why she’s staying up late.

you laid on your bed, the same bed that has been with you with everything. it is nostalgic to think about the memories, but you can’t help but think about those times where the family is still complete and somehow you are acting like a real family.

“i’m back. you’re seeing another pathetic side of me.” you muttered to yourself, referring to the bed and realized that maybe it’s the whole room too.

you turned your eyes to the pictures stuck on your walls. your lips quivered again as you stare at the picture you put up in the past of you and daichi when you had an aquarium date. 

it’s a picture of you two kissing that was perfectly photobombed by a large stingray, that made both of you look like you had wings.

“why do humans fall in love? it hurts my heart, yet i can’t stop loving the man i married.” you uttered as a tear fell out of your eyes.

you were about to close your eyes, when suddenly you heard a knock on your door. you looked up and stared at it, thinking it could be your imagination. again, three knocks came. you immediately went to get whoever it was. did your little sister forget something? or did you?

opening the door, you were greeted by your mother in a wheelchair. smiling up at you.

“i knew it. you came home, i see.” she said, still smiling affectionately at you.

“mom, why are you still awake?” you asked, kneeling in front of her. you held her hand and returned the smile.

“i was asleep, but i woke up when i heard your bedroom’s door being opened.” she explained and tapped you, asking you to stand up.

“huh? ah…” you were puzzled by what she said, but then remembered it.

“your door lets out a peculiar sound every time it opens and closes, right?” she chuckled and pointed at your balcony. 

you went behind her and pushed the wheelchair to your balcony, the breeze was chilly, so you went to your dresser and looked for something thick to cover your frail mother’s body. you came back with a jacket, and wrapped it over her shoulders while she was staring at the star-filled sky.

“it’s beautiful.” she spoke. 

you looked up and truthfully, it was beautiful but you were not in the mood to admire them. you just answered her with a simple, “yeah.”

for a moment, it was quiet. the only sounds you’re hearing are the sound of the wind brushing against the trees and leaves and the sound of the crickets.

it was quite, you thought it would be okay to just stay like this, but you know somewhere someone would speak up. it was your mother who did.

“did something happen at your house?” she finally asked the same question your little sister wanted to ask but decided not to.

you tried to stay quiet, but you were aware you have to, sooner or later, need to tell them the reason rather than keeping them in the dark.

and yet, you can’t find the courage to speak.

your mother smiled.

again, it was quiet. 

for a few minutes, it stayed quiet. actually, you think it might actually go until half an hour. half an hour of letting the noises of nature fill both of your ears, half an hour of feeling the cold blow of the midnight wind on your skin.

you looked down at your mother and noticed that she’s just staring at something far. it was like her mind was occupied by something.

“mom,” you called, she answered you by humming, “what are you thinking about?”

“i’m thinking about your father.” she said lightly.

you were surprised. the topic about your father was like a forbidden one, you and your siblings never talked about your father when in presence of your mother, yet she just told you that he’s running in her mind right now. 

i thought she hated him.

“why?” you asked.

she smiled weakly.

“i’m thinking that if i followed him back then, maybe i would be happy right now.” your eyes widened.

she still remember that? and… she regrets not running after him? but, he’s…

“i thought you said you didn’t love him anymore?”

she chuckled.

“i thought so too.”

…

it’s saturday and almost four o'clock in the morning, daichi was woken up by his alarm clock, he forgot to turn off before sleeping. it was already weird, because usually he never hears it. it was you who got woken up by it first and then turned it off. after that, you’ll be nudging him and even getting on top of him with your whole body to wake him up.

his body feels so tired. he stretched his arms out, only to feel the cold sheet next to him. he sprung up on his ass. 

“where is—” 

he shut his eyes tight when he remembered what happened last night.

“damn it. i decided to sleep again while i’m mad. i should stop doing that. she doesn't like it either.” he muttered as he got off the bed and stretched out his body.

he went outside the room to get water and find you. he searched the living room with his eyes, but he didn’t see you, he walked to the kitchen and you weren’t there either.

maybe in the bathroom? he thought and his feet dragged him there.

no. you weren’t there.

at this point, he was ignoring the thumping sounds of his heart. there’s no way you did what he’s thinking… right?

he went outside, even though he knows himself it’s ridiculous, to see you watering the plants. but, still there’s no sign of you.

he went back inside and searched every room, but still no one jumped out and said that you were just playing hide-and-seek with a just-woken-up him.

where were you?

he went to sit on the couch. short and fast breaths taking over his lungs.

please just tell me you went out to jog. or that you went to shop this early in the morning. anything that could be outrageous to do at this time you can do it and he wouldn’t even laugh. just show up before his eyes and calm down his heart getting scared minute by minute that he might’ve ruined everything last night.

“where are you, baby? please, just this once let it be a joke.” his said with a shaking voice. 

he looked down and finally saw it. the ring you left, before you went and left the house.

daichi laughed. 

“now, if this is a nightmare, i fucking hate it, haha.” he laughed as he picked it up with trembling fingers. 

it wasn’t happening. if he closes his eyes and opens it again, he’ll find you sleeping soundly beside him.

but it didn’t.

he clutched the ring in his palms as he wobbly stood up and went to the bedroom to get his phone. maybe if he calls you and apologizes, he can fix this relationship.

but, it wasn’t going through.

“did she block me already? please don’t. i’ll apologize for everything i did and said. just don’t leave me.” he muttered, shaking voice and tears finally escaping his eyes.

he kissed the ring, before deciding to get on his feet.

he’s not letting this relationship end, if he had to eat dirt for you to forgive him, he’ll go out of his way to search for the dirtiest mud and eat it for you. 

he checked the closet. his line of work will become handy to him, but he didn’t think that it’ll be useful in this way. you didn’t take any clothes with you. so, there’s a high chance that you’ll go somewhere you have a stock of clothes with them. but, the friend you’re always staying over whenever you have a girl’s night, is out of town right now and the other is attending a party just like what you’ve told him.

as much as he doesn't want to say it, he knows that you’re trying to save money, so you probably won’t stay at a hotel.

he picked up his jacket, phone and wallet.

he knows the only place where you could be.

…

“you thought so too?” you repeated.

“i thought i was tired of him, that i didn’t love him anymore.” she said, “but, i was wrong.” she added.

how can you love someone who hurt you just by thinking about them?

she looked up at you and smiled.

“i realized, i was not tired of loving him.” she looked forward again. “rather, i was tired of our fights. i was tired of always exchanging shouts with him, but i never stopped loving him. ever since that night, never a day passed that i haven’t thought about how i should’ve run after him and told him not to leave me, us.”

your lips quiver while listening. you always made sure not to talk about your father thinking that your mother would hate it, not knowing that everyday she reminisces about their relationship.

again, she looked up at you, but now with a warmer and larger smile.

“so, i thought once i get better, i’ll try and win your father back, even if it took too many years, haha.” she happily said, before looking back in front.

you weren’t able to contain it anymore, you shed a tear for your mother. you bend down and hug her from behind. she was startled when you suddenly wrapped your arms around her, but still caressed her daughter’s head, just like how she used to whenever she cries in her arms. you were happy to see your mother’s genuine smile, a smile that isn’t forced, a smile that isn’t there to show that she’s okay, so you don’t have to worry. you were happy, but you can’t help but cry.

knowing damn well that your father has already married someone else and is having his third child.

you know that and yet, you can’t tell her that. you don’t want to. not when she just finds inspiration to be well again.

but, you didn’t expect to hear what she said next.

“your father… he already found someone else, didn’t he?” she suddenly said that it made you freeze.

you felt wet drops on your arms.

“i-i— he—” you wanted to lie, but can’t bring another heartbreak to your mother by lying.

“i know, because you’re my child.” she sobbed and tears fell out of her eyes like waterfalls. “and i know, because that’s just the man i knew and loved.”

you went in front of her and hugged her by her waist, bawling like a little child.

“sorry, sorry, sorry, mom… it was my fault… i’ve always known it was because of me… if i didn’t ask you for a gift, maybe he would still be with us… mom, i’m sorry… because of me… i’m sorry… i’m sorry… i’m sorry… please, forgive me…” you cried and cried, begging your mother for forgiveness.

your mother who is also crying, but still manages to wipe your tears, nods her head with everything you say to let you know she’s listening. 

you kept on apologizing to her and she listened to everything. when you ran out of breath, she took this chance to calm you down. 

“(y/n), look at me.” she said as she cupped your cheeks, you looked at her with a messy face and probably snot coming out of your nose. “never have i ever thought that it was your fault. your small gift was not the reason we ended the relationship. i didn’t know that you’ve always carried the guilt on your back thinking that it was your fault. i’m sorry for never noticing.” she affirmed.

“it was not your fault, (y/n).”

this made you teary again.

“mom… thank you…” you cried to her as you held her hands that were on your cheeks. closing your eyes to feel the warmth of her palms in the coldness of the breeze.

“with that said, (y/n)...” she called. you opened your eyes and saw another of her real smiles.

“don’t make the same mistake as me.” 

it was a short sentence, yet it rang your ears so loud, you can’t hear anything else except that.

your lips showed a smile, a quivering and forced smile. your tears never stopped dropping, actually your eyes produced more.

“i’m sorry, mom. but i think i already did.” you cried, resting your head on her thighs. “it wasn’t your mistake that i’ve committed, but dad’s.” you added.

“i ran away.” you hiccuped, “i thought everything would be the same, so i ran away. i was scared to face it.” 

your mother made you raise your head. your eyes are red from crying so much and yet you felt like you haven’t let everything out. your chest still feels heavy. you want to cry everything out, but thoughts fill in double with every tear that escapes your eye. you just want to cry it out, but the longer you cry, the more it hurts.

“mom, what should i do?” you asked her, looking up at her. sniffing and catching your breath.

“i…” you stopped to inhale. “i love daichi, but i’m scared. what if it's all temporary. what if our love fades?”

“it was my fault. it’s always been my fault.” you wiped your eyes with your hands, only to be replaced by another one. “i… i don’t want to leave him, mom…”

“dear, calm down.” your mother squished your cheeks. “i’m sure you realize that whatever you did to your husband was wrong, but you don’t have to worry.” she said, making you confused.

“i was the one who ran away… what if he didn’t run after me?” you asked.

“then you’ll be the one who needs to go back to him. you need to talk it out.” she ran her hands on your hair. “you wouldn’t want to turn out like me, right?” she muttered, giving you a relieved smile. 

she knows that you already know what to do and that no matter what happens, deep inside you, you didn’t want to be something you saw happen to her and your father. she must’ve been subconsciously aware that you were afraid to fall in love. she saw when you looked at others with partners, not with an envious eyes, but rather a confused one.

she realized just now, that she might have been the reason why you think like that. with what turned out to be your mother and father’s relationship, maybe it’s understandable why you thought love fades along with the relationship. but, you’re wrong. after all, look at her. she will always love the man that was with her for most of her happiest moments. she’ll never stop loving him.

but, she knows it’s different for the both of you.

because, she saw something in daichi that your father has never done and never will. she knew from the day you introduced him to her. 

your father never looked at her the same way daichi looked at you whenever you’re not looking.

so, she knows. she knows it won’t turn as tragic as her story.

when she realized, you have already calmed down. you’re still sniffing and wiping your tear stains, but you’ve controlled it.

“let’s go. it’s getting late and you haven’t slept yet.” she tapped your back. you could only reply with a nod. 

you stood up and helped your mother turn her wheelchair around. you helped her get to her bedroom, but before walking back to your room, you thanked her.

“thank you, mom.” you said. she looked at you and smiled. “thank you for being the best.” you kissed her on her forehead and said good nights to each other.

you went back to your room and laid on the bed. you reached for your phone. your fingers fiddled whether to turn it on or not.

in the end, you chose not to. 

you know what to do right now, but needed more courage to commence it.

“i should get some sleep first.” you muttered, your body finally processing the amount of tiredness your body felt yesterday and today.

i’m going back to daichi. i don’t want to lose him.

…

the sun was up and it was hitting your eyelid. you were too tired and sleepy, you forgot to lay out the blinds.

you were about to turn your body to the side, when something was holding you by your waist. you were still feeling groggy, but you paid no attention to it. but, then you remembered you’re in your room, not at your house, but your mother’s house.

you swung your head sideways and saw daichi sleeping next to you. your mouth was wide open and was surprised.

how did he get here this early in the morning?

you stared at his handsome face that was wrinkled by his furrowed brows. you wanted to laugh, because that was his face every time he dreams about a weird but cute creature that he told you about before.. you tried to get out of his chain-like hold. after many unsuccessful attempts, you finally managed to free yourself. 

you sat on the edge of the bed as you felt your throat was so dry after that crying you did. you were about to get up when you caught daichi and started moving his hands.

he’s searching for me. you thought. 

you were on your way to reach for his hands, when he suddenly sprang up with wide eyes.

“(y/n)!” he called out.

you jolted because of his sudden movements. he was frantically rubbing his eyes in order to get that clear view of the room. his gestures made you worry, so you held and stopped his hands from doing so.

“dai, i’m here.” you told him, putting his hands down along with yours. “good morning.”

his eyesight has finally adjusted and you were his first view. 

your beautiful face that puts a blush on his cheeks. your sweet smile that calms his mind. your soft touches that makes him weak.

staring at your face, he realized that he’s not in a nightmare anymore. just like what happened earlier when we woke up for the first time today. you’re here in front of him, greeting him good morning just like always.

he pulled your hands to his face, feeling up the warmth it gives.

“g-good morning.” he replied, his voice cracking up from holding back his cry.

you smiled watching your husband snuggle himself to your hands, but it soon faded when you realized how scared and hurt he must’ve been when you suddenly disappeared.

“dai—” before you could even finish calling him, you suddenly found yourself caught by daichi’s arms again.

he buried his face on your chest and hugged you tight, tighter than he even did before.

“why…?” he muttered, words were muffled, but you can still hear him clearly.

“dai?” you called.

“why did you leave? you could’ve just slapped me. you could’ve just kicked me. you could’ve punched me. you could’ve told me to sleep outside. you can pull my hair, poke my eyes, hit my shin, step on my toes, throw all my clothes, burn them, spend all my money, cut my cards and everything to let out your frustrations and calm your anger, but why? why did you think of leaving me?” he reasoned.

you could feel your clothes getting wet, right where his eyes met your chest. his fingers on your back grasping onto your fabric. you wrapped your arms around his back.

“i was so scared. i thought i might never see you again. i thought we’ll never kiss each other good nights and good mornings again. i thought i’ll never be able to hold you like this anymore.” he continued.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry. please don’t be mad at me anymore. i didn’t think through what was coming out of my mouth. i won’t ever do that again, please don’t leave me. i love you. you know, i love you so much, right?” he begged, finally looking up at you.

his eyes were filled with tears, just like how you were earlier. his face was desperate for your answer.

“dai.” you started. you pushed him away for a bit to look at him directly. he didn’t want to at first, but still complied with what you wanted, only if he held your hand. he’s scared that you might disappear from him again.

“why are you the one apologizing? it was my fault it all happened.” you told him, he was about to reply to you, but you halted him.

“i completely forgot our dinner. i forgot to message you about staying late to finish my work and i didn’t apologize for both. i got mad when you were only worried about me. i lied about not wanting to eat there and begged you for it.” you continued, looking at him straight in the eyes.

“and you’re right about it. i’m sorry for always dodging to own up for my own mistakes. i was scared that everything might be happening because of me again. i ran away from them, so i will not be blamed for it. it’s a bad habit that i need to work on.” you said, smiling at him.

you raised both of your hands to your chest level.

“and thank you for always understanding me. thank you for being so patient with me. i’m very lucky to have someone like you beside me.” you then went and hugged him.

“i’m supposed to be the one saying it.” you added.

“saying what?” he confusedly asked, but still hugged you back tightly.

“i’m going to be selfish and ask for it. i might be tiring to deal with at times, but please don’t leave me, daichi.” you said.

he suddenly chuckled.

“then that would make us both selfish then, since we're asking for the same thing.” he said before pulling you to his lap.

he sat you down there and wiped some tears that were escaping your eyes. he held your cheek with one hand and yours immediately followed it, holding his below your hands. he angled both of your heads and made your foreheads touch each other.

“i won’t promise that there will never be a fight anymore, but there’s one thing i will promise.”

you smiled when you realized that you know what he’s going to say next.

“i promise i’ll love you for eternity.” you said in chorus, making you two laugh.

you two laid in bed for a few minutes, before going down and eating breakfast with everyone. you ate in peace knowing you learned that maybe even just a little bit, you finally understand why.

the reason why people bother with love.

sometimes you will just find someone who will make you risk getting hurt as long as you get to be with them. sometimes it might not turn out the way you expected it, but sometimes when you overcome it and still be with them, it could be the greatest thing that would happen to you.

sawamura daichi, thank you for making me take the risk.

hope you enjoyed it! stay hydrated you all, it's so hot!

[wintermarmalade]

"Finally!" She spun around in her chair, making a couple full rotations before facing towards her doll. "I've finished work early today for once, so let's do something fun! What do you wanna do?"

"I want to fulfill the tasks you assign me" It stated simply.

"Well, yes, I know what you want to do for me, but what do you want to do... for you?"

Do something for myself? It had never been asked that before. It spent a few moments recalling things that made it feel good, many memories of successfully completing tasks and her masters being appreciate came to mind. "I want to be useful" It concluded.

"Is that all? You've never wanted anything else?"

"I cannot recall ever enjoying anything else."

She gave it a doubtful, but thoughtful look, "Well... I command you to pick an activity for us." She said with a coy smile.

It wanted to complete tasks... to be useful.... what task could it choose for itself that would be useful?

"I would like to learn how to help you make your clockwork trinkets."

"Hmmm, alright!" Perhaps teaching would be more fun than doing it on her own, she thought. "Come watch, and please ask as many questions as you would like." She beckoned as she grabbed a tall stool and set it next to her desk for her doll.

It was not used to being able to speak so freely, but it trusted her. It climbed up onto the stool and watched with amazement as Magdeline fit so many tiny parts together and explained how they moved without any magic. She talked about it all so fluidly, and was so patient with all of her doll's basic questions, no matter how silly it thought they were.

When she was finished, it realized she had made a small, clockwork rabbit! Just big enough to fit in her palm. She wound it up, and it began to shake it's whiskers and hop forward, every third hop doing a flip! It watched the toy creature in awe, unaware of how big the smile on it's face was. It's smile quickly faded as it realized it was reaching the end of the table, about to jump off.

"Quick! catch it!" It said with a genuine urgency, just a bit louder than it's normal voice.

"Hold on, just watch." Mags reassured.

The clockwork rabbit stopped right at the edge of table, then turned around and kept hopping! It couldn't help but laugh, as it couldn't believe Mags made this little creature do so much without magic, she must be the smartest person in the universe it thought.

Mags laughed with her, this was the first time she had seen her doll so much as smile, much less laugh at anything. It was an adorable, precious laughter. She spent a moment just admiring the sound of it's voice and it's joyful facial expressions before it noticed and turned to her attention, as if waiting a command.

"Oh! I didn't have a request or anything, I just didn't know you could laugh, it was wonderful."

"W-Wonderful? What... what do you mean? If... I may ask."

"What do you mean what do I mean?" She teased, "It just made me happy to hear."

She was weird, not like any of the masters it had had before. Why would she care about what her doll felt?

"That is... strange. I'm sorry, I don't understand." It said timidly.

"It's okay, you don't have to right now." She assured it with a gentle pat on it's head. "Now, I'd love to see you try to make your own trinket, if you're ready."

The doll's face lit up again and gave an excited nod, ready to keep tinkering.

[dandylovesturtles]

More Sidelined propaganda for @tmntaucompetition ! Today's special guest star is Omega from Replica by @kathaynesart

I promise that the 100ft boys aren't my redheaded stepchildren I've just had more ideas for Sidelined so far (and also they've been in a comp before). I'll try to write something for them sooner rather than later.

But for now, this!

-----

"Ohmigosh, look at that!" calls Mikey, pointing excitedly. "It's a cartoon Donnie!"

It's not hard to tell what he means - some kind of screen mounted on a wheeled tripod, with a cartoon Donnie face making various expressions as he "looks" around at the assembled turtles. Leo wheels his chair towards him, grinning mischievously.

"Look guys, Donnie finally evolved to his final form."

"Hah hah, I haven't heard that one a hundred times before just today," says the Donnie on the screen.

"He even does sarcasm like Donnie!" squeals Mikey.

"Faaaascinating," says Leo's Donnie, leaning in close to observe. "I would think this Donatello is just broadcasting from some remote location, but then why the sprite-based representation of myself? Mikey's handiwork, I assume."

"Correct that it is Mikey's artwork, however, wrong that I am a Donatello broadcasting from a remote location." The cartoon Donnie looks entirely too smug, even in 2D. "I am a fully autonomous AI made from Donatello's personality and memories. I am Omegabootyshaker9000, but most people call me Omega."

"An AI!? Of me!?" Donnie is really buzzing now, practically fluttering around the tripod. "Oh, that's brilliant! Ooooh, I would love to get a look at your programming - may I?"

"Nope, my programming is proprietary, as you well know."

Donnie's face falls. "Awww, come on! Your creator and I are the same person!"

"The deviations between our timelines would suggest that they are not. But nice try."

Donnie immediately turns sulky, pouting off to the side of the Leo's wheelchair. Leo wants to laugh at him, but something more important than his brother's disappointment occurs to him.

"Hey, if you're one of Dee's AI, I know someone who'd want to meet you."

So saying, he reaches around the back of his chair, under the various things he has hanging in the way (as always) and taps on the little drone stowed there. He hears a questioning whirr, then the sound of rotors slowly starting up, and then Shelldon pushes his way out from under Leo's hoodie, stretching his rotor discs like they're limbs.

"Sup dudes?"

"Check it out, Shelly - it's one of your big brothers!”

"Hm?" Shelldon blinks at him, still booting up, before finally looking at Omega. That seems to shock him all the way awake, zipping toward the screen and doing a lap around it. "Whoa! A Dee AI!?"

"Shelldon!" cries out Omega, looking delighted. "Oh, look at you! You look so young!"

"Hey, I'm not young! I'm version 13.0.8!"

"Ah, almost version 14..." Omega chuckles. "I know how much trouble you gave Donatello back in those days."

"He gives me plenty of trouble now," huffs Donnie, still sulking.

"Eh, don't listen to him," says Leo, waving it off. "Shelly's great!"

"You are part of the reason I have so much trouble with him," Donnie argues. "You're a bad influence!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"They update so fast," says Omega, interrupting their bickering. His sprite has a look of wistful nostalgia. "You should really cherish this time, you know."

"Eugh." Donnie makes a face. "There's nothing about this time to cherish. I'll be glad when he updates out of it."

"You think that now," says Omega, "but whenever Donatello remembered those years... he missed it."

The past tense applied to his twin makes something in Leo's stomach twist. Though they're out of his sight, he can sense Mikey and Raph tensing up, too. For the first time, Leo has to ask himself why Donnie needed to make an AI to store his memories and personality. And he doesn't like any of the plausible answers.

Omega seems to realize after a moment that he's sobered the mood, because he does a very exaggerated clearing of his throat and says, "So, that wheelchair is interesting, he said in a very natural segue. Is that a Genius Built original?"

"Uh," says Donnie, and then he kickstarts into motion. "Why yes! Yes it is! You know, I can show you the schematics if you just let me see-"

"Haha, nice try again! But no."

"Awwww, come on!"