#and tobias deserves his suffering

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

For the release of ttpd, can a girl get some sad Grayson hcs 😔✊ <3

sad grayson head canons

of course<3. i eat up sad tig hcs so i might make some for the rest of the brothers and avery (probably will). hope you like them! this one is going to be kinda dark (i like making my favorite tig characters suffer) so trigger warning for self-harm and suicidal thoughts/attempts. take care of yourselves, and try to talk to someone if you can. as someone who's been through a lot of shit last year, i can promise you things, at some point, start looking up (this might be corny, but i felt the need to say it) (i may be projecting in some of these cause i love making myself see myself in my fav characters if that makes sense).

grayson used to go out (like to the park or smth) and watch all of the kids playing with each other wishing he could be like them.

sometimes he gets so self-destructive he doesn't eat or drink water. he just lies in bed wishing he could magically die.

grayson heard the prochecy, the black dog, loml, and down bad from ttpd for the first time and started sobbing uncontrollably (so many other songs but yk, im not gonna write all of them down)

when he gets in those self destructive moods, he tends to piss people off/make people sad on purpose so that they'll get made and leave him (he secretly wishes that someone can see through all of his pain and be there for him)

very dark so trigger warning (even though i gave one at the beginning. you can never be too sure), grayson used to have scars on his ribs bc he would hurt himself. he never cut deep enough for it to actually scar permanently bc he 'has an image to uphold' according to tobias.

although swimming is a coping mechanism, it's also a form of self-harm for him sometimes. he swims until he can't feel his legs anymore, and sticks his head underwater for extended periods of time until he feels like he's about to drown.

i actually saw this in a conan gray interview, but he used to cross the street without looking left and right hoping a car would hit him.

he hears emily's voice in his head more often than he lets on. whenever he hears her voice, he'll press his nails so hard into his palms, they start to bleed.

he somehow managed to get his hands on some anti-depressant behind tobias' back and started taking them, but, sometimes, when he was especially suicidal, he would try to overdose on the pills. it never worked.

he's convinced himself that he deserves the pain he causes himself/the people cause him.

tobias knew about his unhealthy coping mechanisms but didn't do shit to help him bc didn't want him to 'soften up' making grayson think his grandfather thought he deserved the pain.

grayson will purposely make himself stay awake for days on end bc he doesn't think he deserves to get sleep sometimes (he needs to work. in his head, everything will go to shit if he doesn't)

sometimes he'll go swing on this swing they have in blackwood forest to feel like a kid again (it sometimes works)

he has this stuffed teddy bear nash gave him when he was a baby that he sometimes sleeps with when he feels alone (even though he'd grown now).

this one is extremely dark, probably the darkest one yet so tw for suicide attempt(ish its not really one).......... at the age of fifteen, he actually bought pills to overdose on and set a date (the 14th of may (really random)). he was going to off himself that day but didn't end up doing it bc his brothers dragged him out to play chess (idk, anything works). he said he'd do it some other day but never go to it. every year, on that day, he celebrates not offing himself bc he wouldn't have met the people he met and wouldn't have gotten to feel the happiness he now feels if he had.

he's convinced himself he isn't worthy of love (this one also applies to jamie, a lot of these actually do in my opinion, they're quite similar when you think about it. probably will make a post about this)

when he was a baby, he'd imagine his stuffed teddy was actually his mom when he felt the need to be held by a parental figure. it almost never worked, but he would always try again hoping it would magically start working.

he has panic attacks on a regular basis. ones where he starts pulling at his hair and stuff. he thinks he's going crazy after these, but avery reassures him he isn't (or nash, but i like the idea of avery being there for him as a friend/sister figure)

when he was younger, he used to ask people if they wanted to come to his house and play with him. they said yes but only bc he was rich. the second they'd step foot into his house, they'd leave him and start exploring.

this sort of goes with the hc i made that he denies himself food and stuff, but, when he gets cold at night and wants to lower the temperature, he'll force himself to stay in bed and take the blankets off to let himself suffer.

he secretly wishes people weren't so scared of him bc then he might have friends.

sometimes, he starts feeling so numb with everything he goes back to the cliff where emily died just to feel smth.

he's such a perfectionist he would cry whenever he got lower than a 90% at school.

it might not look like it, but he really cares about people's opinions of him and will do everything in his power to 'fix' what these people think is wrong with him.

whenever he gets mad at the world or at himself, he'll go to one of those places where you smash and break everything. when he's done, he makes himself sit in the mess and look at all of the destruction he caused (he sees this as him destroying everything in his life (like his relationships, etc))

to end on a brighter note, here's a happy grayson hc :)

when he was younger and wanted smth, he would jump with his hands clasped together begging for it with the cutest puppy eyes ever (i find this one really adorable and can literally picture it in my head).

not proof read so i apologize for any spelling mistakes<3. again, there are resources you can use if you ever need help. if you can, try to get a therapist, and, if you can't, talk to a friend/family member or call a helpline. things can get better. sending everyone lots of love.

[atopvisenyashill]

i will never forgive the show for casting tobias menzies and then wasting him bc i watched him later in outlander & the crown, and after being blown away by his portrayal of black jack randall, i was ecstatic they had cast him as prince phillip, and sure enough he was amazing. i think edmure is the perfect character for him to really show off his acting chops, because the tullys are soooo quick to sense a sleight and get shitty over it while being craftily determined and fiercely devoted people as a whole, i just KNOW he would have killed it

but ESPECIALLY the way they had him just get freed from the noose, go inside, lift the siege over the protests of his people, and force the blackfish on the run because like, idk, they were determined to make him look like a shitty little coward or something??? when how it REALLY goes is that after the weeks of physical torture + the psychological torture of him being hanged in front of his own uncle DAILY, edmure manages to keep his shit together long enough while subsequently being horrifically psychologically tortured to get tom seven strings’ info from him, lift the siege to save his people from more suffering, and then cover for the blackfish while he escapes, and gloat about it to jaime’s face just for funsies!!!!

I DESERVED THIS BITCH SLAP FIGHT ON SCREEN DAMMIT TOBIAS WOULD HAVE KILLED IT

[jerzwriter]

I hope you don’t mind me stealing them for my morning warm up.

—————

“I’m home,” he called out.

“We’re in the kitchen,” she hollered back.

We? God, who did she invite over this time? he wondered and leaned against the wall, steeling himself for whatever gathering she had planned to subject him to this week.

“Uncle Ethan!” Samantha squealed as she slid around the corner in her stocking feet. Brooke not far behind her sister.

“Samantha,” Ethan acknowledged her greeting with confusion as she took his hand.

“We are making Christmas cookies,” Brooke said loudly and her sticky hand grabbed his other hand.

The two sisters dragging him to the kitchen where Kayla pulled herself up on Merida’s leg and her tiny fingers tried to each the flour dusted counter.

“Hey, welcome home,” Merida grinned, dusted in equal amounts of flour as their kitchen.

The girls raced back to the table to frost more cookies, though Ethan saw they ate more of the frosting than they actually applied to the cookies.

“Why are they here?” he whispered and indicated with his head the girls now dumping entire containers of sprinkles atop their cookies.

“You mean the spawn of Tobias?” Merida teased.

Ethan rolled his eyes and sighed, “Yes.”

“I thought it would be nice to give Casey and Tobias a night free for a date.”

“They can get their own sitter.”

“Ah but this is more fun.”

“Fun for who?”

“Me,” she giggled into a kiss. “Because I do so love exasperated Uncle Ethan.”

“You are impossible.”

He turned from her hoping to hide the slight smile.

“Girls!” he shouted when he saw Brooke painting Samantha’s face with frosting. “The frosting goes on the cookies.”

He leaned down to begin wiping the frosting from Samantha’s face only for Brooke to start painting his.

He stood up and turned to Merida with a pointed look. But she only laughed and the girls erupted in giggles.

“We will end up with four children to babysit if you keep giving those two date nights and,” he paused and gave a long suffering sigh, “I don’t think I can handle that.”

She pulled him close and kissed the frosting from his face, “You love it.”

LILY!!!!!!!! OMG! So I have to tell you - I saw this the moment I woke up today. I was not in a good headspace; lots going on, and I was really down. Then I saw this, and it just made me smile. It really turned my whole day around, and I need to thank you for that! Like HUGE HUGE HUGE hugs for that!

Now... this was FREAKING ADORABLE!!!! EEK! OK, so outside of my own little girl (who isn't so little lol) I think the Carrick Girls are the greatest thing I've ever created, and OMG, you captured the little rugrats SO well here. And juxtaposing their vibrance, mischief, youth, and energy against Ethan's curmudgeonly old man ways! AAAGHHH! OMG!!!! Then, there is Merida, the perfect balance of light, joy ... and mischief... right there in the middle. Oh, I have so much to say... bear with me, PLEASE!

We? God, who did she invite over this time?

🤣🤣🤣 Ethan, you crotchety old man. You are SO lucky Merida tolerates your ass! 🤣🤣🤣

steeling himself for whatever gathering she had planned to subject him to this week.

Your life would be so empty without her babe. Worship her as she deserves to be worshiped! lol

“We are making Christmas cookies,” Brooke said loudly and her sticky hand grabbed his other hand.

Ethan thinking ... "This is why we don't have kids" the entire time! 😆

The girls raced back to the table to frost more cookies, though Ethan saw they ate more of the frosting than they actually applied to the cookies.

You know Tobias does the same thing, right? It's official. It's canon. He does. lol

“Why are they here?” “You mean the spawn of Tobias?”

STOP!!!!

No... seriously! STOP! I am literally WHEEZING over here. OMG Spawn of Tobias... I need to inject this into my fics, into my vernacular, into MY LIFE as much as humanly possible. That's a must...

“Ah but this is more fun.” “Fun for who?” “Me,”

Baby boy, she needs more than your grumpy ass in her life. LMAO I love it.

He leaned down to begin wiping the frosting from Samantha’s face only for Brooke to start painting his.

THIS. IS. EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING! I need to commission art of this. And I can see Merida LAUGHING her ass off in the background - sneaking a picture and texting it to the friends group chat... and Tobias is like "That's going on our family Christmas card." It's done. 😂😂😂

“We will end up with four children to babysit if you keep giving those two date nights and,” he paused and gave a long suffering sigh, “I don’t think I can handle that.”

SSSTTTOOOOPPPPP!!!! 😂😂😂😂

OMG Ethan, but you are SO FREAKING RIGHT! lol So - there is a really angsty story surrounding Kayla's birth ... and more to come on that... but if not for that... I'm sure these two would have been pumping kids out like rabbits. lol

OMG LILY! I waited all day to reply because I wanted the time to give it the attention it deserves. AAAGHH! I love this! I love you! Thank you so much! This was the brightest spot in my day! ❤️❤️❤️

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Faith & Fate - A Leap Of Faith Fanfiction

As I told Emily (@philhoffman ) I have started writing a Leap Of Faith story, which I have now titled 'Faith & Fate', it takes place in 1993 and in the fictional town of 'Lead Springs, Texas'. And I shall now word dump on you some info:

Major Changes to the plot / Spoilers:

After the ending of 'Leap of Faith' Jonas was dropped off the next town over by the truck driver. The trucker thought Jonas was mad and threw him and his bag out.

Jonas had to call Jane, she and Sheriff Braverman came to get Jonas and they (Jonas and Jane) re-joined the crew, heading off to the next town, eventually reaching Lead Springs, Texas by January 9th of 1992, where 'Faith & Fate' begins.

So basically, I'm using 'Leap of Faith' as a 'movie becomes series' (like Buffy for example) to lead into 'Faith & Fate'

As per usual, if you wish to be tagged or untagged from the story, please let me know, either through asks or DMs

Characters (OCs & From Leap of Faith):

Under cut due to length. These are just the characters I'm certain I'll include as of now (8th June '24)

Jonas Nightengale & Jane Larson

Aka the two least deserving of anyone's trust, the Boss (Jonas) and the ACTUAL boss (Jane). I don't trust either of them, but I trust Larson more because of the butterflies scene. Jane is dating Sheriff Braverman long-distance and Jonas still keeps in touch with Boyd and Marva, though he isn't particularly close to either of them.

Ages: Jonas - 47. Jane - 37

The Choir & The Crew (General)

More than likely underpaid (even though Jonas has a bag of golden watches), but good people. I know several of the crew who put together the gigantic tent have tattoos, so possibly a mix of types of Christians, including maybe some who aren't fully Christians

Ages: Unknown, Approx. 20s-40s mostly

Tiny

First of all, he's a giant, dude's like 6'3. My name for him is Timothy Smalls, so in my head at least Jonas nicknamed him Tiny because of the character of Tiny Tim and it just stuck. He helps with building the tent, collecting money, gathering info, etc.

Age: 44

Matt

(Image credit - @philhoffman / Emily) Matt, my beloved, young dumb and full of… energy, this man has so much energy. My name for him is Matthew Braddock. He helps collect money and gather info, but is also the one who Jane and Hoover (Meat Loaf) send to do random tasks, like an intern.

Age: 25

Hoover

The driver of Jonas' bus, as in the main bus at the front of the pack of 4. His name's Tobias Hoover. His family is my OCs, specifically his 2 brothers and niece. I like his fashion choices, but I know they're not for everyone, also I have been unironically listening to mostly Meat Loaf songs while writing these characters.

Age: 43

(OC) Jedidiah 'Jed/Bubba' Hoover

Eldest brother, and the only Hoover brother to have kids, big (6'2") cuddly papa bear, but seriously don't come near his daughter, he protects her like she's a miracle and her mother / Jed's wife died when Cai was very young.

Age: 46

(OC) Micaiah 'Cai' Hoover

Jed's daughter, Cai's been raised by practically just men, her family has always been in Lead Springs, her uncle Tobias was the only one who left. She suffers with CIDP, which means she's often in a wheelchair but manages as well as she can to be independent. She doesn't work, not due to disability but rather due to lack of jobs, as well as the mistreatment she receives in Lead Springs.

Age: 22 (turns 23 within the first few chapters)

(OC) Zechariah 'Ari' Hoover

Tobi and Jed's younger brother, and Cai's uncle. Zechariah goes by Ari, which can be confusing. He lives with Jed and Cai, acting as a second father to Cai while working with Jed at the town's diner. Most days he regrets letting Tobias leave, but has to remind himself that his brother has his own life.

Age: 40

(OC) Reverend B.J Deacon

The young, new Episcopal church reverend/deacon, fresh faced and just out of seminary school. He's very new to actually leading a church and very inexperienced, hoping to learn from Jonas how to engage people with their faith.

Age: 22 (turns 23 within the first few chapters)

[severussnapeconfessions]

hc Snape didn't shed a single tear when his parents died.

Ohohoh I love this. This character is so complex that I honestly have multiple headcanons regarding this subject. I feel compelled to share.

Some of them are ridiculous but that's life.

In one of them, Tobias murdered Eileen out of pure violence and prolonged domestic abuse, became a runaway and Severus after learning about his mother's passing tracks his father down and kills him. Severus would be 16/17 years old.

That would have been Severus' first kill. He tracked him with magic, bound him to a chair, and gave him a good beating him with his bare hands. By then Severus would have already at least have reached his height, despite not have the muscle and he wanted Tobias to fear him. His last words towards his father would be:

"I have not done this before for she would suffer greatly... But now, thanks to you, mother is gone and free of her bindings. Do you see this ? "

Young Severus raises his wand, his eyes dangerously searching the other man's.

" This fucking stick, as you have called a many of times, is what you have always feared in Eileen. She could have killed you just like this "

He flicks his wand once and sends a controlled cutting hex across his father's cheek.

"But guess what, she did not need it"

He throws his wand away and casts multiple cutting hexes wandlessly aimed at his father's chest.

"I will be after you even in the pits of hell. May your soul never find peace, for you do not deserve it. Bearing your name disgusts me. You are a ridiculous excuse of a man, Tobias Snape."

And then he turns away, picks the wand up and points it at his father's bloodied swollen face and casts his first Unforgivable. He then casts a fiendfyre to burn the body.

*sigh* Why have I poorly written fanfiction in here? I don't know. Sorry.

[perennialsoft]

Fit in the Archives

New OCs! Tobias and Edmund are rival students at a magic university of vague setting. They're both in their early-to-mid twenties. Toby suffers a good deal in this first fic, but don't worry, he absolutely deserves it.

DNI if you are a non-kink blog and/or a minor.

Tobias’ demeanor changes as soon as they open their books. His shoulders stiffen, his hands curl, he grimaces–Edmund is immediately entranced. He spares half an eye for one of the dust-laden texts their professor sent them to investigate and the other half on his rival. 

Tobias turns the pages of his book with two pinched fingers, leaning away while he does. He looks like he’s terrified the grime will infect him, as if showers don’t exist. It’s hilarious.

“You do realize you can clean your clothes, right?” Ed asks.

Tobias looks at him strangely. “What?”

“You’re acting like something terrible will happen if you get a little dusty. We’ll never finish if you treat every book like it’s a bomb.”

“Says the man who hasn’t flipped past the first page of yours,” Tobias drawls. Ed has to concede the point. He flips the page casually, knowing the strengthening charms will keep the book whole no matter how rough he is with them. A cloud of dust drifts up as he disturbs the text, and Tobias literally recoils. 

Finally, the realization hits. “You’re allergic to the dust,” Ed says, delighted. 

“I am not,” Tobias says immediately. 

“You are,” Ed insists. “This is wonderful. Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

“You haven’t noticed anything,” Tobias insists. “Would you focus on the books?”

“Why? Are you eager to get out of here quickly? The professor will give us as much time as we need for this. No need to rush,” he says. Tobias glares, and Ed laughs. “This is wonderful,” he repeats. “Your eyes and nose are all red. You look ridiculous.”

Tobias clenches his fist. “Regardless of the time afforded, I would rather not be here all day. Is it so much to ask that you do the task we were assigned?”

“Is it so much to ask that you admit you’re allergic?”

“I’m not allergic.”

Ed considers him. “This won’t bother you then, right?” Ed does something to send some dust floating. Tobias clenches his jaw and glares. His nostrils flare. “Or this?” He does something else, and even more dust flies up. 

“Doesn’t bother me at all,” Tobias says through his teeth. Despite his clenched teeth, he sounds breathless.

Ed smiles. “Then this won’t bother you at all.” Ed flicks his hand, and wind whirls around their table. Clouds of dust heavy enough to darken the air lift up around them. Tobias makes a choked sound. "The archivists will probably thank me for cleaning up their books a little.” He manipulates the dust into an oblong shape floating between them. Tobias’ face is white. 

“You’re not meant to use magic in the archive,” Tobias says, a little desperately. 

Ed tilts his head. “Huh, I guess you’re right. Well, nothing for it.”

Tobias’ eyes widen. “Don’t–” he starts, but Ed has already released his hold on the magic, dropping the dust into the center of their table. 

For a moment, the cloud is so thick Ed can’t see his rival at all. Then, as it clears, he catches sight of Tobias bent over, head in his hands, shuddering. 

“All right there?” Ed asks. 

A moment of quiet, and then–

Ktchh! Nnch! Nkch! Ktch! Ktch! Nkch! Nngch!

Ed smiles broadly. With another flick of his hand, the dust is swept aside and away so he can better see the reaction he wrought. 

He-he-k’shkt! K’eshh! Ekshew! EKshew! EKshew! Ktch! Knck! EK’sheww! 

Tobias stumbles to his feet, knocking his chair to the ground. Before he can run, Ed sticks his feet to the ground. 

“You–” Tobias gasps when he realizes, then ducks back into his palms. EK’SHEW! KE’SHEW! KE’SHEW! He-He-HEK’SHEW! 

“Admit you’re allergic to dust, and I’ll undo the spell,” Edmund says. 

Tobias looks at him with pure hatred. Ed readies a shielding spell, just in case, but his rival is clearly too caught up in his fit to cast anything. He might be too caught up to really talk. 

“You–K’tchew! KESHEW! EK’SHH! EK’SHEWW! Gods–KEW’SHEW! KK’SHEW! I–HEK-SHEW!--I’m all–HEK’SHEW! KE’SHEW! I’m allergic–HESHKEW!

“There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Ed concentrates, and all the dust stuck near them whirls away. He coughs a little at the sudden excessively clean air. He undoes the spell binding Tobias’ feet, and in the same moment pushes his chair up into his knees, knocking him back into a sitting position. Even as this happens, Toby continues to sneeze. HESHEW! H’SHEW! SHEW! Ed glues his legs to the chair. “But we’ve still got work to do. I’ll keep going while you… calm down.”

Tobias looks at him incredulously with streaming eyes. His fit shows no sign of slowing, but Ed is sure it will eventually now that the dust is gone. 

“This is payback for the asthma attack,” he adds casually. Tobias continues to sneeze.

[burrichgreer]

Monsters...

Monster. It was such a tired word. A lazy sort of label slapped on creatures, natural or not, which over-simplified, over-vilified, and, worst of all, shrouded a more difficult truth for the sake of convenience... for the sake of conscience.

—

Chink.

The sound cut through the eerie silence of the woodland and set off an all too familiar, crescendoing racket. It began with the quiet clink as the trap’s trigger was sprung. Then came the crackling as the alchemical gadgetry did its work, sending fractals of ice that expanded until they had thoroughly ensnared their victim. Then came the grunt, always one of surprise, which soon turned to an alarmed growl as the panic set in. Only then did the actual struggle begin as it strained against the trap, violently attempting to break free from the ice’s unnatural fortitude.

A quiet exhale steadied the huntsman from where he was hunkered down between a large rock and a thick evergreen, a suitable enough bit of cover on a night such as this when Duskwood’s forest was veiled in heavy fog. A glance to the moon’s position, visible through the yawning canopy over the open glen, told him he had been there for two hours - maybe three. All in all, he was making good time - a fact he was glad for as he was reminded that he had promised a cup of tea and a hand to someone who’s day was assuredly no less long than his.

After a moment’s wait to be certain his quarry was alone, Burrich rose from his nook and took up his rifle, which he promptly shouldered and trained on the worgen who hadn’t noticed him yet. With the practiced silence of a hunter, he stepped through the underbrush and out of the treeline as he watched the beast struggle to free itself.

“Tobias Whitaker.” He spoke the name aloud, in a commanding voice that immediately drew the worgen’s attention. Yellowing, bloodshot eyes turned upon the hunter as its attention left its frozen leg and narrowed upon the more pressing threat. Burrich’s sharp, verdant gaze met the feral’s, narrowing as his head canted to the side a hair in study of the creature’s features. Long beard. Scar upon the right brow. Missing left pinky. It was enough to confirm the worgen’s identity, just as the woman had described. “-Tobias Whitaker-.” He said what had been the beast’s name once more, with greater emphasis, though he didn’t really know why. They never responded. There was never a spark of recognition in their eyes, never a glimpse of anything behind the ‘monster’ they had become. He sighed and stepped closer. The worgen lowered its stance, baring its yellowed teeth and ushering a wordless warning in the form of a low snarl at the huntsman as he approached and stopped twenty paces away with his gun unwaveringly trained on the beast.

“I am sorry, my friend. You deserved better than this.” He spoke in his low voice, the sincere words falling on ears that would no more comprehend them as the beast would care for the man’s sympathy. It saw only a threat. And in a sense, it was wise to do so. Its struggle was renewed, letting out a fierce growl as its razored fingers scraped and clawed at the ice that had engulfed the lower third of its leg and pinned it in place. Burrich focused his aim, mindful to see the act done in a single, painless shot. Though just as he was about to pull the trigger, a twig snapped somewhere in the distance behind him and drew his attention away for but a moment. But a moment was enough. It was the cracking sound that pulled his focus back to the worgen, the sound of ice shattering. 

Burrich's expression flattened. “...fuck.” BOOM.

He let loose a shot of violet light that whistled through the air, but worgen were unnaturally fast and desperation only made them more so. It ducked down, only suffering a graze to its shoulder, before throwing itself forward in a flurry of muscle and dark fur that charged for the huntsman. A second shot rang out and another bolt of arcane shot zipped toward the charging mass of wolf-man, this time connecting with the beast’s left leg - causing it to crash into the dried-out grass between them. Slowed, though all the more frenzied for it, the worgen scrambled to get back on its feet and resumed its charge.

“...-fuck-.” Burrich cursed again, knowing full well he was running out space and time. Levering the rifle a second time, he refocused his aim just in time to have to abandon it. The worgen hurled itself through the air, its maw gaping and claws primed to eviscerate whatever they could. It was all the huntsman could do to sway to the side and bring the rifle down to attempt to redirect the force of its momentum to the side, knowing all the while that the sheer size disparity between them meant he was going to be the one redirected, not the worgen.

And so it was, the hulking beast crashed into him, and he into the ground. “-Fuuuuck-.. “ he wheezed as the wind left his lungs upon impact. Rolling, he recovered quickly enough to find his knees, draw both flintlocks from his chest, and fire both in quick succession as the worgen fell upon him again in a snarling, bloodied mess. To Burrich’s relief, the snarls lasted little more than a few passing seconds as the life drained from it. The huntsman’s head fell back into the grass as he let out a huff of air, pinned beneath the now very dead worgen. With a grunt, he shoved the beast off of himself and, with no small amount of effort, pushed himself to his feet. It was only then that he noticed the seeping gash in his left thigh where a stray claw must have caught him in the tussle. “Great...” he muttered as he holstered the pistols and limped to retrieve his rifle. A moment was taken as he stood over the lump of fur in the grass, his brow furrowed and his expression turning stern and somber. He let out a heavy sigh. “Find peace now, Tobias Whitaker.. if there is any left for you to find.”

The contract fulfilled, he slowly made his way out of the moonlight and into the shadows of the treeline before sinking down against a tree. Tearing the fabric of his pants wider to inspect the wound, he grimaced but seemed relieved by what he saw. Not too deep. His head sank back against the trunk, eyes closing briefly as he fished a suture kit from his pouch. But before he tended to his leg, he set the needle and thread aside and pulled the stock of his rifle onto his lap. His gaze fell to it, sober eyes drifting over the rows of carved tallies that littered the wooden stock. Silently, and without much fanfare, he drew his knife and etched one more line amongst the dozens of others - monsters, every last one.

—

@agilneanrose

@theborderlandcoalition

[sunomaly]

about the au: 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎

in this au, it’s not aly that has to fake her own death, but spencer. tobias williams escaped prison, was on the run. aly tirelessly researched, spent her time trying to hunt him down. but instead of coming after alyssa, her father went after the one person she cared about most. aly was the one to find him near, and she rode with spencer to the hospital while calling the rest of the team. she stayed in the waiting room the whole time he was in emergency surgery, pacing the linoleum floor as she waited for something, anything. hotch arrived, told her she needed to get some rest. and while she protested, eventually a direct order was given. she didn’t go home, instead sleeping in the waiting room.

when she woke up the news was given. spencer had ‘died’ in surgery. there was nothing that could have been done. the world stopped, she couldn’t breathe. she felt like she’d been shot, like her head was being held underwater. she never got to say goodbye, never got to tell him she loved him. and now she never could.

she stayed long enough to go to the funeral, then soon after she decided to take leave. one of the first times in her entire career where she actually decided to take vacation. but it really wasn’t a vacation, and she didn’t plan on coming back.

she started hunting for her father, promising herself that she’d make the bastard pay for what he’d done. what he’d done to her mother, the girls he’d killed, her college friends.. and for what he’d done to spencer. when she found tobias williams she made him suffer. suffer the same torture that he had put others through before putting an end to his life. and that was only the beginning.

alyssa knows how law enforcement works intimately. she’d been with the bureau for years by this point. she’d seen more than many, suffered torture, pain, heartbreak. she couldn’t find a way to turn it all back on. she vowed to make sure that no one else would have to feel like she did. that she would take it into her own hands.. prison was something that serial killers didn’t deserve. it was because he’d been allowed to live that tobias was even able to escape prison. she won’t make that mistake again.

[bottledwaterweb-blog-blog]

AnimalZone - Season 10, Episode 13 from AnimalZone on Vimeo.

"AminalZone: Dazzled by The Dog Rose" is a touching episode that takes viewers on a heartfelt journey of compassion, transformation, and the extraordinary power of love. Noelle Fueter, a seasoned banker in Liechtenstein, embarks on a life-altering adventure when a chance encounter with a stray dog in the Bahamas ignites a newfound purpose within her.

Moved by an unwavering determination to make a difference in the lives of dogs, Noelle courageously leaves her established career behind and, with the support of her husband Tobias Fueter, embarks on a remarkable mission. Noelle launched 'City Dogs,' a venture initially focused on pet care but destined for so much more. Through unwavering dedication, Noelle finds her true calling - bringing dogs and people together in a profound and meaningful way.

Tobias, a successful film producer and director, plays an integral role in this transformative journey. While on location in Romania, he bears witness to the plight of countless stray dogs, and his heart aches for their suffering. Urgently, he shares these heartrending images with Noelle, setting in motion a chain of events that will forever change the lives of these abandoned creatures.

What unfolds is nothing short of extraordinary. Noelle, propelled by an unyielding sense of duty, rushes to Romania, determined to offer solace and aid to these deserving souls. In a beautifully poignant act of kindness, she uses the resources at her disposal to feed and care for the hungry strays, a gesture that quickly evolves into something much larger. With the help of compassionate veterinarians and dedicated volunteers, 'The Dog Rose' is born.

Located just north of Bucharest, 'The Dog Rose' emerges as a sanctuary, a haven of hope and healing for the dogs of Romania. Noelle, Tobias, and their cherished colleague Anja come together, pooling resources, time, and unwavering love to create a safe haven where these dogs can thrive. The shelter and play area stand as a testament to the boundless potential for positive change when driven by love and purpose.

The symbolism behind 'The Dog Rose,' the national flower of Romania, carries profound significance. While Noelle and Tobias may hail from Switzerland, their unwavering belief in the universality of compassion knows no bounds. "Love knows no borders," Noelle declares, a sentiment that echoes throughout this extraordinary episode.

In 'AminalZone: Dazzled by The Dog Rose,' viewers are invited to witness the transformative power of love, as dogs become the silent but potent teachers of an essential truth: that kindness, empathy, and unity can bridge any divide. This episode is a testament to the idea that, at its core, we are all leaders, capable of creating a better world for those who need it most.

[thenixkat]

Animorphs notes: Megamorphs 2

Megamorphs 2

Marco 1

Saw something on the news and mentioned it to the others leading to everyone in a storm trying to breathe in dolphin morph

Of course its not like sharks need to breath air and might be better in some cases

Marco uses humor to cope

Rainy day

So why are the animorphs getting involved with a sunken nuclear sub?

Marco wants to go out of his way to save people again.

Him and Rachel are like the most likely on the team to become superheros

Or they could put their stuff in a bag and bury it on the beach instead of putting things in the trash?

How exactly do these guys plan on rescuing people?

Cassie 1

Everybody morphs dolphin

They find the sub

Jake 1

Ah yes the plan to kidnap an officer. Totally would have no negative reprocussions

Can’t just act in a weird and obvious manner to direct people to the sub

Sometimes dolphins help people, sometimes dolphins kill people. Its a rulette game as to whichever a dolphin is more interested in at the moment

The writter makes a comment on war and nukes

A nuke goes off and instead of being vaporised by the light the kids get transported through time and space for some reason

Rachel 1

One of these days a kid is gonna get trapped in morph when they’re uncoincious

Cassie’s the only one who had any injuries from the fucking nuke going off

Why is there a volcano over there? There shouldn’t be volcanoes where they are

Rachel watches the Magic Schoolbus

That’s not how plesiosaurs work and you could never mistake them for a whale even with sonar

Ax is smug about those not being whales

Tobias 1

Why the hell are fucking plesiosaurs intered in them in the first place?

Tobias got vored by something big enough to swallow a 10ft at least dolphin whole

This is causing me pain

Rachel got vored by something that can fit 2 ten or so foot dolphins inside its stomach

Looked it up and yeah no, plesiosaurs were def known to not have flexible necks by the time this was written

No that can’t be an ichthyosaur b/c they’re gone by this point in the Cretaceous and the on ly ones that big were likely FILTER FUCKING FEEDERS

Random ass gulper eel dolphin sea monster

Rachel decides that morphing is the best idea in the stomach

Tobias morphs too

Jake 2

Ax doesnt get to have a turn yet what a surprise

Cassie says they should try to rescue Rachel and Tobias, Jake says thats a fucking dumb idea and he’s right

Jake is pissed at people getting themselves eaten and Cassie coming up with dumb fucking idea

There should actually be some seagull like dinosaurs but I think those were discovered much later than these were written

Kids finally put 2 and 2 together and realized that they aint in Kansas anymore

They havent actually put togther the gone back in time bit yet

Jake and the writer seem to be under the impression that dolphins have no natural defenses

They are almost there in realizing what happened

Cassie 2

Still no fucking Ax narration

THESE KIDS ARE REALLY FUCKING DUMB

Sauropods did not leave elephant like foot prints. At all

Nope not figured it out yet

Cassie, you should know that whales can’t swallow whole full gown dolphins

Cassie almost gets eaten by a crocodilian and these kids still haven’t fucking figured it out

Wait a minute. Grass doesn’t exist in this time period

Also Cassie should know better. Herbivores can and will fuck you up with little provication

They finally figured it out

I see we have movie monster Tyrannosaurs

Rachel 2

Wow Ax really doesnt have any rights does he?

...that’s not how anatomy

Bears are not herder to digest than dolphins

This is hurting ,me

Tobias everything you said aside from the hadrosaurs was pure bullshit

Rachel thinks the dinosaur angle is rediculous

Tobias 2

Tobias you have a fucking hork-bajir morph you utter dumbass

Wow Tobias is bad at morphing, he can’t even get rid of his injuries

Tobias gets to be extra useless and cause Rac hel pain by haveing to perch on her

Grass doesnt exist in this time period

There was a gradual decline in the late Cretaceous of nonavien dinosaurs, the asteroid was the last nail in the coffin

T. rex was just another animal not not much more dangerous than say a lion, just bigger

Marco 2

Ax doesnt get to narrate I guess

There is no reason for the tyrannosaur to be chasing them it just made a fucking kill

They aren’t even the right size to be worth the fucking effort either

Marco almost gets eaten and is saved by Ax who papercuts the thing to death

Ax 1

Yeaaaah Ax vs Tyrannosaur should not end in victory for Ax

I flatout don’t belive this rediculousness and my suspension of disbelife died several chapters ago

Ax is fucking shook that worked

Ok good Ax was very very fucking lucky that worked and not gonna try that again

No, Ax, no that is not scientificly possible b/c theres no fucking dna in the fucking fossiles they are bone and other shit shaped rocks

When the fuck did Cassie get any survival skills? Did she decide to brush up after the Karen incident

Well we have ‘I will survive this with or without you’!Cassie today

Yall could actually morph Ax and have your own andalite tails. Or fucking morph hork-bajir

Rachel 3

Grass still doesnt exist yet

At no point did rachel think to escue some modesty and make wraps for her feet

Rachel suggests that Tobias morph human, even perminatly

He is very shit at morphing 

I guess he expects that he’s got days to live as a wounded bird over anything else he could fucking morph

Rachel refuses to fucking make it known that she’s suffering

In what fucking world does that description matach a triceratops

Also deinonychus, not around at the end of the cretaceous

Deinonychus is about almost 3 ft tall at hip and a ft longer than that

Naked ass ones at that

Them going after them at least makes sense

Cassie 3

Camping and eating tyrannosaur meat

Gonna sleep in shifts

People keep forgetting that they have hork-bajir morphs which are amazing and also that they could just aquire Ax

Tobias 3

Nothing about the majority of large dromaeosaurs suggests that they’re fast. The opposite actually. Ambush predators not chasers.

Tobias and Rachel split up

Tobias and the writers forgot about wing assisted incline running and the fact that raptors can fucking climb if the have to

Tobias drops on one and aquires it

Tobias 4?

This is going with the not-dynonicus being diurnal for some reason

Tobias lost control of the morph and will probably attack Rachel

Jake 3

The rock that was the final nail for the dinos is estableshed bvery firmly\

Stampede

And a nother tyrannosaur

Jake trips and falls when it matters most

Rachel 4

Tobias is really serious about not identifying as human

Rachel tries to reach him over smashing the lead raptor

Jake 4

Jake gets vored by the tyrannosaur whole even tho it was already eating bigger more interesting prey

Jake aquires the thing and starts morphing imediately

That tyrannosaur broke its fucking tail

Everyone aquires the injured dinosaur

Marco 3

Marcos not happy and everyone misses Rachel

More travel

Ax says the flash of light that started the stampede was artifical

Did Ax just say he can see ultraviolet and infrared

They find an alien city

Tobias 5

Tobias is bitching about Rachel still being mad that he gutted her

Neither of them are healing their injuries for no good reason

Ew, Tobias gross.

Rachel has a raptor morph now

Rachel isn’t a coherent person when hrungy and tired

Why are there coconut trees? They dont exist yet

Rachel eats a not coconut

No. That is not a fucking spinosaurus. Spino is fucking African and didn’t live at the same time as T.rex

Tobias metally calls Rachel stupid

Rachel 5

This is really fucking poorly reserched

And lo an alien:

And that's when I noticed the other creature step smoothly out from the

bushes.

It walked on two legs. It was rough-textured, like it had really chapped

skin. It was reddish in color. It had two big eyes and a small mouth,

all of the same reddish-rust hue. It stood about eight feet tall. It was

carrying a weapon.

The creature gazed curiously at us with what seemed to be eyes, although

they were mere indentations in its face. From its head a pair of

antennae, flexible as whips, grew and began waving toward us.

The alien calls dibs on the dinosaurs and speaks Fucking English

The nesk

The nesk is a pile of antlike creatures

Anmd really Rachel just fucking escalate things to outright violence

Cassie 4

Cassie suggests that they just go see who the aliens are

And that Jake stay behind b/c she doesnt want to loose more people

The alien city:

We flew toward the shining city in the valley. With osprey eyes I could see much more clearly. I saw buildings that rose in steep, smooth sweeps, like they'd grown from the bedrock. Windows were stuck in odd locations, some aiming out, others more like skylights. And there were fields planted with green and arranged in neat circles instead of rows.

The aliens themselves:

As we got closer, I could see creatures of some sort. They looked a little like large - very large - crabs. Only with shells in a wild array of colors, deep blue, spring green, orange. And while on one side there was something very much like a large pincer, on the other side there was a pair of hands.

Crab people

TRhe kids are attacked by naked pterosaurs

Tobias 6

Wow its almost like starting a fight with an unknown party can go wrong

The ship:

The ground beside me exploded, like it had been ripped by an invisible

plow. I jumped. Another plow mark just behind me! I saw movement. And

there, racing toward us across the plain, was a gleaming, silver craft.

Maybe twice the size of a Bug fighter, but shaped like an elongated

pyramid, long end forward.

The nesk herd Rachel and Tobias away from their claimed territory

Ah they’re falling over the cliff of the mercora city

Jake 5

Daring mid air antics and the team is reunited

Also a force field wich is smart\

Ax is tired of having to be the info guy

At least its not a killer forcefield like the kind that yeerks use

The mercora introduce themselves

Ax 2

Ax and his andalite bullshit

More of the mercora:

There were three of the creatures. They moved upon seven legs. Four on

one side, three on the other. To make matters worse, the four

legs were larger than the three. So they scuttled sideways in the

direction of the small legs.

They stood about half the height of a tall human, and seven or eight

feet wide.

On the side with the four big legs, there was a sort of three-way pincer

claw. It looked very powerful. It looked like the sort of thing I would

not want to have to fight against.

On the other side, the weak side, there were two arms similar to my own,

but even stronger than human arms. The arms ended in long, tapered,

delicate fingers.

There were a lot of eyes. They kept opening and shutting, one or two or

three at a time. They were each hidden beneath tiny trap doors in the

Mercora's exoskeleton or shell. Eyes were forever appearing and

disappearing. It was very, very distracting.

Which is a cool design

They talk in thought speak

Just b/c humans in the future don’t know about the mercora doesnt mean they left or were destroy you dumb fucks

Marco 4

The mercora healed Tobias, gave everyone food, a place to stay and even offered to make them soem clothes

The crabs wear clothing or at least make it

And they have force field furniture

Also that’s not how broccli works

Marco makes a vore joke about the mecora

Really Cassie?

The mercora are herbivores

All you have is the mecoras’ word on that and they are in direct conflict with the nesk 

And so what if they’re scavengers?

Very rarely but sometimes Cassie has a valid point

Ax 3

Ax is still kinda specist

Hmm I wonder why the mercora aprove? Its not like they can have an alterior motive here

And the mercora are going to help

Ax is very lonely in genera;

Cassie 5

The writers are fucking awesomebros

And they can’t control the morphs

Cassie gets wounded by a ceratopsian

Jake 6 

What? We were just with Cassie oh forget it

Jake is suicidally confidant that Cassie wouldn’t eat him

Apparently Jake is right

Cassie freaks out

Ax 3

Tobias keeps being wrong.

The nesk have thought speak detectors

Tobias 7

They group steal an explosive and destroy the nesk ships

Rachel 6

The nesk retaliate very effectively

Ax calls for back up 

TRachel throws herself around to draw away fire from the others

The mercora attempt a rescue and loose a ship

Culture:

The Mercora saucer picked us up, us and our little nuke. But they were a

grim, depressed bunch of aliens. It was hard to tell at first. But then

I noticed that each of them was minus one of their smaller legs. There

were just oozing stumps.

"What happened to your legs?" I asked. But even as the words were out of

my mouth, I saw the limbs in the corner. They were laid out on a

brightly colored cloth which was draped over a shelf. There was

something ceremonial about it. Almost religious.

<Can you explain the meaning of this?> Ax asked politely.

<We must make the sacrifice of pain. The legs will regenerate, but those

we honor will not,> the Mercora pilot said. <This is a symbol. It speaks

to our spirit's pain, by echoing it in physical pain.>

"They did this for the Mercora who were in the other ship?" Jake asked.

<For those who were in both ships,> the pilot said. <To be killed is a

sadness. To kill is a sin.>

Jake says the they owe the mercora for saving them

Fuck you Tobias

Tobias 8

Tobias this is premeditated murder

The nesk have decided to leave the earth

The mercora claim that the nesk altered the path of the meteor

They want to use the bomb to save themselves

Cassie 6

Fuck you Tobias

You need to be held accountable for this shit

Its almost like the vast majority of things to ever live never leave any fucking fossils you nit

This bastard is really trying to justify himself like this is anyway defensible

Fuck you Tobias, you get to join Cassie and Jake in the bin of fucking terrible people

Jake 7

Oh what you little bitch babies can’t handle the consequences?

Tobias deserves his unhappines and eventual death

Cassie 7

Cassie at least decides to bear witness to their crime

CVassie saw the time pass

No good reason given why they can’t retain those morphs

Tobias needs to pay for his shit

[drspencerweed]

Revelations is the worst because it's just like. you know after that episode spencer is never the same. you go into it with spencer seeming pretty confident, he's been through some shit, but he's out with the team and he's happy and he's on top of his game. and then the rug gets pulled out from under him.

[jakei95]

My dog Tobias passed away. He was diagnosed with cancer last week, vet said that even with treatments or amputations, his life was not going to be comfortable at all, and we didn’t want him to suffer anymore. Tobi was my very first dog. He joined my family since he was just a 1 month old puppy. It feels really weird and devastating losing him all of a sudden. What it’s more frustrating, is that I couldn’t be with him since I officialy moved to Chile 3 years ago, and due to Covid and flight restrictions, it was impossible for me for at least see him and pet him one last time before the diagnosis. Fortunately, my parents and siblings gave him all the love he deserved and made him company until his last breath.

I was curious to know if he could still recognize me when I would finally be able to go to Colombia, but I will only find his ashes inside a box... That thought is breaking me inside, this is my only way to say goodbye. I know these things are inevitable, but it’s really hard to accept he’s gone... I’ll miss him a lot.

[radiant-reid]

Touched starved

It was no secret this case had been extra hard on Spencer. Even Y/n, the newest member of the team, knew some bad things happened when he was kidnapped by Tobias Hankel. Most of the details were covered up though.

Spencer didn’t talk about it much. Only a few words when he felt strong enough. With having only been at the BAU for two years Y/n knew the least of what happened. 

Then again, she was a profiler. She could tell this case was having a more-than-usual bad effect on Spencer. 

It was because of the parallels, she figured. This unsub had been kidnapping and torturing victims. Having to solve it and, more importantly, knowing there was someone out there just like him, was hard on Spencer. 

His brain almost didn’t work as it ran constant flashbacks of what Hankel did to him. Like a horror movie with no ending. 

Everyone noticed, not just Y/n.

She just didn’t understand why they wouldn’t help him. They were all far closer to him than Y/n was. Prentiss, Morgan and JJ didn’t seem to be doing anything to help him but Y/n just felt like she couldn’t let him suffer in silence. She knew Garcia had tried to ask him how he was on the phone but there was only so much she could do from so far away. It wasn’t any of the team's fault though, they knew how Spencer operated.

That was how she found herself outside his hotel room on the 3rd night of the case. After seeing his condition slowly deteriorate throughout the hours they’d been on the case, she couldn’t just sit by. So dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants, she knocked on his door. 

“Y/n... what are you doing here?” Spencer asked as he opened the door to see who it was. It was very obvious that in the 4 hours since Hotch had sent them to get some rest, Spencer had not slept a second. 

“I...” Y/n didn’t actually know how to answer his question. Instead, she just walked into his hotel room which caused him a lot of confusion. The puzzled look on his face didn’t stop. “I’m here for you, Spence.” She told him as she sat on his bed. 

“Obviously, you’re in my room but I don’t understand why.” He replied. His brows were furrowed and his arms crossed across his chest. At least he’d changed into a hoodie and pants. Y/n didn’t think she’d ever seen him in a hoodie. 

“Come here.” She instructed and he obliged, walking over to her so he was at the foot of the bed. “I’m here so you can have someone to talk to. Or not to talk to.” She explained. He still, very obviously, didn’t understand. “You haven’t stopped working on this case for almost 72 hours straight, that’s unhealthy. Now, you’re going to relax and just stop thinking about it.” 

Spencer huffed out a sigh. “I can’t just stop thinking about it.”

“Why?” 

“There’s someone out there who can’t stop thinking about it. He’s scared, terrified. And he’s just hoping that we can save him. But everything is telling him that there’s no one left. That they’re going to get there and be left with just his body.” Spencer hunched over as he talked, feeling as small as he looked. Tears were forming in his eyes and he was desperately fighting them. “I can’t stop working on this because we need to find out where he is. I can’t stop working on this because he can’t stop thinking about it. He’s living through the torture but he’s going to give up and want to give in to death.”

“What happened, Spencer?” Y/n softly asked as the tears started spilling down his cheeks. 

He just stood there blankly. “I can’t.” He sobbed out. 

Y/n knew about his aversion to hugs but she pulled him in for one, wrapping her arms around his slender waist. To her surprise, he leant into the embrace. 

They stayed like that for a while before she pulled back, picking up his hand. She moved back so she was sitting against the headboard and pulled Spencer over, patting her lap. He didn’t even give a second thought to lay his head on her lap. His brain could almost stop spinning as he laid there. 

Y/n moved her hand to his hair, threading it through her fingers. It was remarkably soft and fluffy. 

“What happened to you, Spence?” She asked him again. 

With tears still streaming out his eyes he could answer. “It hurt so much, Y/n. He wouldn’t stop it, no matter how much I begged. I was so helpless there.” He choked out, in a broken sentence due to his heavy breathing. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m right here.” Y/n comforted again. She tested out the boundaries by running her hand over his cheek and when he leant into her hand she continued to brush the tears off his cheek. “Let it all out.”

“I couldn’t do anything!” Spencer cried. It was the most painful sound she’d ever heard. Someone so composed and always perfect falling apart. He was broken. “I just sat there while he beat me. I can still feel it. When I close my eyes sometimes I see him. It’s so stupid because I know, scientifically, I’m experiencing PTSD but sometimes I feel all the walls coming down on me.”

Y/n’s heart broke for him. “Spencer, it’s not stupid.” He cried even harder at that. 

“I just need to crack the case and save him, Y/n. I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t.”

Y/n moved her hand to rub his back. “I know you feel that way.” She didn’t really know what to say to comfort him. He was so often the one helping everyone else out. 

“I feel so silly for still being scared too.” He mentioned. 

“Oh, Spence, it’s okay. Hankel is dead and you’re safe now.” She soothed him, still rubbing circles in his back.

He was still bawling his eyes out, feeling unbearable sadness. “I know that. But I still see him and I can still remember every second of it.”

“You didn’t deserve any of that.” She told him firmly. “He was sick, I know you know that. You went through the worst things imaginable and you’re so strong.”

He lightly nodded. “Will it get better?”

“Yes, if you keep talking about it. To anyone. JJ?” Y/n suggested. 

“I like talking to you.” He mentioned it, quieter than before. Y/n could finally smile at that. Despite everything, Spencer was still so kind. 

“Good.” She told him as she moved her hand back to his hair. “I could see it was getting to you. With all the similarities in him drugging and abusing his victims. I can’t imagine what you went through but I’m so proud of you.” She continued, meaning every word she told him. 

The tears had stopped coming so fast now. They were still constant but a weaker flow. “I just felt so helpless when I was there.”

Y/n almost chuckled at that. “Spencer, from what I’ve heard you were the one who told the team how to find you. I think you were so brave and I know they’re all so proud of you.” She told him. 

“Thank you.” He murmured as he moved his head in her lap. She continued to comb through his hair. 

They stayed in the exact position for a while. Until, eventually, the tears stopped. 

Spencer then sat up. His cheeks were flushed red as he made eye contact with Y/n. “I’m sorry I completely freaked out.” He nervously rambled out an apology. 

Y/n couldn’t have shaken her head faster. “Spencer Reid, you don’t have to be sorry for anything. Everyone needs someone to talk to.”

“I’ve got to save him, Y/n,” Spencer told her as he moved to get up off the bed, no doubt to go to his makeshift workspace. 

Instead, Y/n tugged on his arm, not letting him move. “I know you’ve got to, Spence. But you can’t do that if you haven’t slept or relaxed in days.” She informed him. He was smart enough, and he had read at least 300 articles on the importance of sleep, to not argue with her. 

“Okay, I’ll sleep. Thanks for coming to see me.” He told her, trying to get her out of the room. 

Y/n noticed. “I don’t think so. You’re stuck with me for the night, buddy.” She told him as she pattered her lap again. 

He looked like he was thinking about putting his head on it but he stopped. “Then you won’t sleep.” He realised.

“Okay then,” Y/n said as she pulled the covers of his bed up and got in. “I hope you’re okay with cuddling.” She was a little worried he wouldn’t be into it, just because of his germaphobic nature. But her worries subsided when he got in next to her and quickly put his head on her chest, 

Y/n moved so she was lying flat on her back with her head on a pillow. Spencer put his own head on her chest and wrapped his arms around her waist like a baby koala would its mother. 

She moved her arm so she could wrap it around Spencer’s torso and pull him closed but he stopped her. “Can you, uh... could you do it to my, um, hair?” He nervously asked. 

Happy to oblige, Y/n moved her hand to his hair and started to run her fingers through it. “If you just want to lie here it’s fine but we can talk too.” She offered him, still unsure of what he needed. Spencer was so used to closing up that he decided to go against what his brain was telling him. 

“My parents,’ He started, “When I was little we didn’t really do touching... no one’s ever hugged me like this.” The thought of a little kid Spencer not getting hugged broke Y/n’s heart again. 

“Is this okay?” She asked, cautious of where his boundaries might lie. 

“Yes.” He hurriedly answered, not wanting her to stop for a second. “I like it. I just didn’t get hugs as a kid from anyone. And as I grew up I learnt more about germs and figured that’s why my parents repealed me.” He spoke slowly and softly like he was half asleep. Maybe he was. “But I like this. It makes me feel better.” He figured. 

“That’s good.” Y/n hummed. “I’m always here for you if you want to talk or just cuddle.” She told him. 

The smile she could feel against her chest warmed her heart. “I’d like that and please don’t stop stroking my hair.” 

She smiled at that. “I won’t.” She meant it as she leant down to place a kiss on his forehead.

[ottogatto]

Do you hc that Snape didn’t know and then wouldn’t admit to himself that he suffered "abuse" from his father, and lots of other people (other than his school bullies whom Snape doesn’t have difficulty seeing as abusers)?

Do you hc him oddly trying to justify that what his father did wasn’t that big of a deal, or that he deserved it for whatever reason Snape comes up with, or that you can’t judge him like that because they were living in poor conditions and Tobias had his issues, etc?

(When we defend a victim of abuse, it often involves making the person understand that they are a victim of abuse, and nothing justifies what they are suffering. I think it’s a defense mechanism: it’s too hard to think that one is suffering unfairly, that it’s excessive, and it can become extremely humiliating to admit "I was a victim".)

[lorenfangor]

I heard that #40 was super homophobic :/ so I skipped it. But now your fic is making me want to give it a try. How problematic is it? Are the characters worth it?

Okay.

Okay.

Let’s talk about #40.

The plot of The Other (a Marco POV) is that Marco sees an Andalite on a video tape sent in to some Unsolved Mysteries-esque TV show, and he assumes it’s Ax and hauls ass to save him from being captured. Ax, being Ax, has videotaped the show, and they pull it up and Tobias uses his hawk eyes to figure out that it’s not Ax, it’s another Andalite - one without a tailblade. Ax is appalled at the presence of this vecol (an Andalite word for a disabled person) and we find out that he and others of his species have deep ingrained prejudices against at least some kinds of disabled people.

Despite this, Marco and Ax go looking for the Andalite in question because he’s been spotted by national TV, and they meet a second one, named Gafinilan-Estrif-Valad. The vecol is Mertil-Iscar-Elmand, a former fighter pilot with a reputation and Gafinilan’s coded-gay life partner. The two of them have been on Earth since book 1; they crashed their fighters on the planet and have been trapped there thanks to the GalaxyTree going down. Gafinilan has adopted a human cover, a physics professor, and they’ve been living in secret ever since.

Thanks to that tape, Mertil has been captured by Visser Three, and he’s not morph-capable so he can’t escape. Gafinilan wants to trade the leader of the “Andalite Bandits” to the Yeerks to get his boyfriend back; he can’t fight to free Mertil because he’s terminally ill with a genetic disorder that will eventually kill him, and (it’s implied that) the Yeerks aren’t interested in disabled hosts, even disabled Andalite ones. Despite Ax’s ableism, the Animorphs agree to work with Gafinilan and free Mertil, and they’re successful. Marco ends the book talking about how there are all kinds of prejudices you’ll have to face and boxes that people will put you in, and you can’t necessarily escape them even if they’re reductive and inaccurate, but you can still live your life with pride.

So now that I’ve explained the plot, I’m gonna come out the gate saying that I love this book. I love it wholeheartedly, I love Marco’s narration, I love Ax having to deal with Andalite society’s ableism, I love these characters, and as a disabled lesbian I don’t find these disabled gays to be inherently Bad Rep.

that’s of course just my opinion and it doesn’t overshadow other issues that people might have? but at the same time, I don’t like the seemingly-common narrative that this book is all bad all the time, and I want to offer up a different read.To that end, I’m going to go point by point through some of the criticisms and common complaints that I’ve seen across the fandom over the years.

“Mertil and Gafinilan were put on a bus after one appearance because they were gay!”

this is one I’m going to have to disagree with hardcore. I talked about this yesterday, but in Animorphs there are a lot of characters or ideas that only get introduced once or twice and then get written off or dropped - in order off the top of my head, #11 (the Amazon trip), #16 (Fenestre and his cannibalism), #17 (the oatmeal), #18 (the hint of Yeerks doing genetic experiments in the hospital basement), #24/#39/#42 (the Helmacrons’ ability to detect morphing tech), #25 (the Venber), #28 (experiments with limiting brain function through drugs), #34 (the Hork-Bajir homeworld being retaken, the Ixcila procedure), #36 (the Nartec), #41 (Jake’s Bad Future Dream), and #44 (the Aboriginal people Cassie meets in Australia) all feature things that either seem to exist just for the sake of having a particular trope explored Animorphs-style or to feature an idea for One Single Book.

This is a series that’s episodic and has a very limited overall story arc because of how children’s literature in the 90s was structured - these books are closer to The Saddle Club, Sweet Valley High, Animal Ark, or The Baby-Sitters’ Club than they are to Harry Potter or A Series of Unfortunate Events. Mertil and Gafinilan don’t get to be in more than one book because they’re not established in the main cast or the supporting cast, I don’t think that it’s solely got anything to do with their being gay.

“Gafinilan has AIDS, this is a book about AIDS, and that’s homophobic!”

Okay, this is… hard. First, yes, Gafinilan does have a terminal illness. Yes, Gafinilan is gay. No, Soola’s Disease is not AIDS.

I have two responses to this, and I’ll attack them in order of their occurrence in my thought. First, there’s coded AIDS diseases all over genre fiction, especially genre fiction from that era, because the AIDS epidemic made a massive impact on public life and fundamentally changed both how the public perceived illness and queerness and how queer people themselves experienced it. I was too young to live through it, but my dad’s college roommate was out, and my dad himself has a lot of friends who he just ceases to talk about if the conversation gets past 1986 or so - this was devastating and it got examined in art for more reasons than “gay people all have AIDS”, and I dislike the implication that the only reason it could ever appear was as a tired stereotype or a message that Being Queer Means Death. Gafinilan is kind, fond of flowers, and fond of children - he’s multifaceted, and he’s got a terminal illness. Those kinds of people really exist, and they aren’t Bad Rep.

Second off, Soola’s Disease? Really isn’t AIDS. It’s a congenital genetic illness that develops over time, cannot be transmitted, and does not carry a serious stigma the way AIDS did. Gafinilan also has access to a cure - he could become a nothlit and no longer be afflicted by it, even if it’s considered somewhat dishonorable to go nothlit to escape that way. That’s not AIDS, and in fact at no point in my read and rereads did I assume that his having a terminal illness was supposed to be a commentary on homosexuality until I found out that other people were assuming it.

“Mertil losing his tail means he’s lost his masculinity, and that’s bad because he’s gay! That’s homophobic!”

so this is another one I’ve gotta hardcore disagree with, because while Mertil is one of two Very Obviously Queer Characters, he’s not the only character who loses something fundamental about himself, or even loses access to sexual and/or romantic capability in ways he was familiar with.

Tobias and Arbron both get ripped out of their ordinary normal lives by going nothlit in bad situations, and while they both wind up finding fulfillment and freedom despite that, it’s still traumatic, even more for Arbron I’d say than for Tobias. And on a psychological level, none of the main cast is left unmarked or free of trauma or free of deep change thanks to the bad things that have happened to them - they’re no less fundamentally altered than Mertil, even if it’s mental rather than physical. And yes, tail loss is equated with castration or emasculation, but that doesn’t automatically mean Mertil suffering it is tied to his homosexuality and therefore the takeaway we’re intended to have is “Being gay is tragic and makes you less of a man”. This is a series where bad shit happens to everyone, and enduring losses that take away things central to one’s self-conception or identity or body is just part of the story.

Also, frankly? Plenty of IRL disabled people have to grapple with a loss of sexual function, and again, they’re not Bad Rep just because they’re messy.

“Andalite society is confusingly written in this book, and the disability aspects are clearly just a coverup for the gay stuff!”

Andalite society is canonically sexist, a bit exceptionalist and prejudiced in their own favor, and pretty contradictory and often challenged internally on its own norms. In essence, it’s a pretty ordinary society, and they’re really realistic as sci-fi races go. It makes sense from that perspective that Andalites would tolerate scarring or a lost stalk eye or a lost skull eye, but not tolerate serious injuries that significantly impact your perceived quality of life. Ableism is like that - it’s not one-size-fits-all. I look at Ax’s reactions and I see a lot of my own family and friends’ behaviors - this vibes with my understanding of prejudice, you know?

“Mertil and Gafinilan have a tragic ending, which means the story is saying that being gay dooms you to tragedy!”

Mertil and Gafinilan have the best possible ending that they could ask for? They are victims of the war, they are suffering because of the war, they get the same cocktail of trauma and damage that every other soldier gets. But unlike Jake and Tobias and Marco, unlike Elfangor, unlike Aximili? Their ending comes in peace, in their own home. Gafinilan isn’t dying alone, he’s got the love of his life with him. Mertil isn’t going to be as isolated anymore, he’s got Marco for a friend. Animorphs is a tragedy, it’s not a happy story, it’s not something that guarantees a beautiful sunshine-and-roses ending for everyone, and I love tragedy, and so I will fight for this story. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it deserved better. But it’s not less meaningful just because it’s sad. Nobody is entitled to anything in this book, and it’s just as true for these two as it is for anyone else.

“It’s not cool that the only canonically gay characters in this series don’t get to be happy and trauma-free and unblemished Good Rep!”

This is one I can kind of understand, and I’ll give some ground to it, because it is sucky. The only thing I’ll say is that I stand by my argument that nothing that happens to Mertil and Gafinilan is unusual compared to what happens to the rest of the cast, and that their ending is way happier than Rachel and Tobias’s, or Jake and Cassie’s. But it’s a legitimate point of frustration, and the one argument I’ll say I agree has validity.

(Though, I also want to point out that I think there are plenty of equally queercoded characters in the story who aren’t Mertil and Gafinilan - Tobias, Rachel, Cassie, and Marco all get at least one or two moments that signal to me that they’re potentially LGBT+, not to mention Mr. Tidwell and Illim in #29 and their long-term domestic partnership. There’s no reason to assume that the only queer people here are those two aliens when Marco’s descriptions of Jake exist.)

“Marco uses slurs and reduces Gafinilan’s whole identity to his illness!”

Technically, yes, this is true, except putting it that way strips the whole passage of its context. Marco is discussing the boxes society puts you into, the ones you don’t have a choice about facing or escaping. He’s talking about negative stereotypes and reductive generalizations, he’s referring to them as bad things that you get inflicted upon you by an outside world or by friends who don’t know the whole story or the real you. The slurs he uses are real slurs that get thrown at people still, and they’re not okay, and the point is that they’re not okay but assholes are going to call you by them anyway. He ends by saying “you just have to learn to live with it”, and since this is coming from a fifteen-year-old Latino kid who we know is picked on by bullies for all sorts of reasons and who faces racism and homophobia? He knows what he’s talking about. He’s bitter about what’s been said and done, he’s not stating it like it’s a good thing.

Yes, absolutely, this speech is a product of its time, but it’s a product of its time that speaks of defiance and says “We aren’t what we’re said to be,” and in the year this was published? That’s a good message.

tl;dr The Other is good, actually, and Mertil and Gafinilan are incredible characters who deserve all the love they could possibly get.

[starryeyedrookie]

Before It’s Too Late (Ethan x MC)

Book: Set during book 2 ch. 11.

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x MC (Evelyn Long)

Word count: 1,996

Rating: General

Category: Angst

Summary: An attack scene rewrite when Ethan spends the night with MC.

A/N: Characters and some dialogue owned by Pizelberry.

I finally decided how I was going to write this rewrite. Initially I was trying to do a full chapter rewrite but half way through, I was already at 3k+ words so it would be waaaay to long. Thankfully, I managed to summarize it but also give it a ton of angst. (This was my first time writing angst btw.) I hope you enjoy!

8:30 pm

It's been exactly five hours since the attack. Five excruciatingly long hours since Evelyn’s world was turned upside down.

Travis, Senator Ed’s assistant, had slowly been poisoning him with lead. When they went to confront him, he pulled out a can and sprayed everyone in the room with a deadly unknown substance.

The Senator managed to escape and Travis was dead. But so was Bobby, with Danny fighting for his life.

Evelyn begins to cry again as she thinks about Bobby’s wife and two kids that he left behind. They would now have to grow up without their dad. He would miss so many big milestones in their lives all because of two selfish people.

“E-Evelyn…?” a weak voice calls from across the room.

She walks over to the bed where Raf is lying down, a light sheen of sweat covering his pale face.

The team had come a little while ago with a shot that they had hoped would slow the progression of their symptoms, but Raf’s still seemed to be getting worse.

“What’s wrong?” he asks quietly, gently wiping the tears from her face.

“I was just… thinking about Bobby’s family and… everything that he… would miss. He was… just telling me… this morning that… his oldest daughter is turning sixteen this year…”

“I know… life isn’t fair. They didn’t deserve any of this.”

“You didn’t either, Raf.”

“But I saved you from having to suffer so much… and that’s what matters.”

“Raf…”

“Shh… listen, I feel… like I’m… getting worse. Will you… do me a favour?”

“Of course. Anything you need.”

“Please help me call my vovo.”

Evelyn hands Raf his phone to unlock, then scrolls through his contacts until she sees his grandmother’s name, tapping it, she places the phone to his ear.

“Olá, vovo.”

“No… I’m not well. There was an attack at the hospital today and the Senator’s assistant tried to kill him. A few people were in the room when it happened. The Senator escaped, but his assistant and one person that works here died and the other is in critical condition. Evelyn and I are in quarantine right now.”

“I just wanted to let you know… that if I… don’t make it… I love you with all my heart.”

“Alright, take care. I love you too.”

“Thank you, Evelyn.” he takes a shaky breath, his heart rate slowing and growing more shallow.

“Evelyn… I think you should… call the team… I'm sorry I couldn't save you… that this… might be the way it ends…” he murmurs, eyes meeting hers, as warm and kind as the day they met.

Taking his hand, she can barely see him through her tears.

“You'll make it through this Raf… I know you will…”

He smiles up at her before his eyes flutter closed and his hand falls away.

Moments later Ethan and June rush into the room.

“I’d hoped that the treatment would buy us more time,” Ethan says sadly.

“We don’t know that it didn’t.” Evelyn tries reassuring him.

He nods as June’s eyes fill with sympathy.

“We’ll get him to the support suite. There’s still a chance that we could fix this Evelyn.” June tells her, as she prepares Rafael for transport.

Evelyn’s almost too scared to ask, but she needs to know. “How’s Danny?”

“We… we lost him.” Ethan’s voice comes out in a whisper.

“No…”

“Before he died he… he asked to be autopsied. To help the two of you.”

As Ethan turns to help June, Evelyn reports Raf’s most recent symptom of hot cold reversal.

“Stay strong, Evelyn. We’ll know more soon.” June tells her reassuringly as she and Ethan slowly push Raf out of the room.

Now she’s all alone, curled up on her bed, the pressure in her head becoming almost too much to bear.

Her mind drifts to Danny. She remembers her first day when he was the one that told her that she had just performed a thoracotomy with Ethan Ramsey. The night of the party her roommates had when he and Sienna talked all night until they fell asleep together on the couch.

Sienna. All Evelyn wanted to do was rush to her side and hold her. She and Danny were supposed to be together. They were meant for each other. But how he was gone, and Sienna would have to live with that loss. She probably never even got to say goodbye.

Goodbye. Evelyn had to be prepared.

Picking up her phone, she sees that she has several missed calls and messages.

Calling her mom, she picks up immediately.

“Evelyn sweetie! Are you okay?! Oh my goodness, we saw what happened on the news and I thought we lost you!”

Hearing her mom’s voice, her tears start falling again.

“I’m hanging in there right now mom. It’s just me in the room now. Rafael just got taken to the support suite.”

“Oh, sweetie…”

“Mom… is everyone there?”

“Yes, honey. We’re all here.”

“Can you put me on speaker please?”

“Hey Evey.” she hears her dad’s voice say.

“Hi, Dad.”

“Hi Evelyn, do they know what it is yet?

“Hi Ben, no they don’t. We got a shot earlier that was supposed to slow the progression of the symptoms, but we don’t have a cure yet.”

“Oh.”

“Listen, guys… if I don’t make it…”

“No Evelyn! You can’t say that!” her heart breaks as she hears Ben crying through the phone.

“Wait… just listen to me. I’m preparing for the worst. I want you guys to know… that I love you all so much. And I want to thank you for everything that you’ve done to help me fulfill my dreams.”

Aside from the sound of soft cries, the line is silent.

Finally, her dad speaks up.

“We love you too sweetie. Stay strong and hang in there. You’ll be fine.”

“I’ll try… take care.”

“Bye.”

Later, her friends and the diagnostics team are gathered outside her window. Bryce looks at her with haunted eyes while a crying Sienna buries her face in Jackie’s shoulder.

“How’s Kyra? The surgery must be over by now…”

“She’s fine and resting. We haven’t told her what happened yet.”

“Good idea.”

“So, do you know what it is yet?”

Ethan explains to her that it’s a maitotoxin that he had never seen before. It was still present in Danny’s bony postmortem and on the surface of his skin.

Processing the information, the realization hits Evelyn like a ton of bricks.

“Maitotoxin… that’s derived from parasites in fish, isn’t it? But… there’s no antidote so… I’m going to die here…” her voice now barely a whisper. “I can’t believe this. Today was supposed to be happy. Kyra was supposed to have a successful surgery and everything was supposed to be fine… but now Danny’s dead, Raf is in a coma, and I’m… I’m…” Evelyn buries her face in her hands as she begins to cry.

“Now isn’t the time to give up hope Evelyn. Because of Raf’s actions, you didn’t get much in your system so your symptoms aren’t as advanced. There may not be an antidote as yet, but I promise you that we’ll be working round-the-clock to synthesize one.” Ethan tries to sound as confident as he can, his heart breaking to see Evelyn hurting.

“You won’t be alone.”

Everyone turns around to see that the statement had come from Tobias, as he, and several Mass Kenmore doctors approached them, all prepared to do whatever it takes.

As everyone heads down to the lab, Ethan lingers behind at the window.

“Are you okay, Ethan?”

“No, Evelyn, I’m not okay. But you don’t need to hear about that. You should try and get some rest. Have you slept at all?”

“No. I can’t stop thinking about Rafael. How long he can last… whether… whether it’s already…”

“…Do you want me to stay for a while?”

“Yes, please. If this is my last night alive, I want to spend it with you.”

“If I was in your position, I’d feel the same way about you.”

“Really?”

“Really, Evelyn.”

Suiting up and entering the room, he gently guides her to the bed.

“Now lie down. I know it sounds impossible, but I need you to relax and try to think about something happy.”

As she lies down, Ethan gently pulls up the covers around her.

“Something happy like what it would be like if we went on a date?”

“If that’s what makes you happy then sure.”

Her happiness leaves as quickly as it came.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just feel like there are so many things that I should have done.”

“Like what?”

“I should have loved more.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve spent the last decade focusing on college, med school, work, always guarding my heart because I might be in another city the next year. It makes me wonder… what could have been,” she confesses sadly.

Ethan is quiet for a long moment.

“Since we’re sharing regrets, do you mind if I share one of mine?”

“Go ahead.”

Reaching across, Ethan’s gloved hand finds hers.

“I wish I hadn’t asked you to stay away.”

“You do?” she asks surprised.

“We’ve wasted so much time. I’ve wasted so much time. I should have held you in my arms every day and told you how much I… how much I love you.”

“Ethan?”

“Shh… I just needed you to know… that no matter what happens… I love and care about you more than I can ever tell you.”

“I love you too, Ethan.”

“You do?”

“Of course! I thought you knew that already.”

“I did. It’s just so wonderful to hear you say it.”

“I wish I could kiss you.”

“Soon. You will soon.”

Joining her on the bed, he wraps his bulky arms around her as eyes begin to flutter closed.

“Evelyn? Can you please look at me?”

“Hmm?”

Forcing her eyes open, she looks at him through his helmet.

“Promise me that you’ll keep fighting. That you won’t give up. Oh, Evelyn… our story’s only just begun and it can’t end here. Please… please promise me.”

“…I… promise,” she whispers before falling asleep.

The next morning she wakes up to excruciating pain in her stomach. Doubling over, Ethan reaches across from the chair for her.

“It’s okay Evelyn, you’ll be alright!”

Feeling weaker than ever, she can barely make out the blurry figures running to her window.

“Evelyn! We did it!” Aurora shouts.

“Huh?”

Baz and June enter the room with the antidote as Tobias explains how they did it.

“What about Raf? He’s much sicker than I am…”

“We administered it to him, but too far there’s been no chance. It’s possible we’re already too late.” Sienna gloomily reveals.

“But he hasn’t gotten any worse, that has to mean something!” Elijah adds.

As Ethan gently injects the serum into her vein, he whispers into her ear.

“Hang in there, Evelyn.”

Over the next several anxious hours, June comes regularly to take her blood.

Slowly, her blood pressure stabilizes and the nausea begins to fade.

As Evelyn looks around, she realizes that the room no longer looks blurry.

“Get up.”

She turns around to see a hazmat suit free Ethan stroll into the room with a big smile on his face.

“You mean…”

“It worked. There’s no trace of toxin left in your bloodstream. Even if there are still traces in the room, we know now that we can-”

“Oh!”

Evelyn flies into Ethan's arms pulling him into a tight hug.

“…What you’re saying is I’m finally free to do this?”

“Yes. This too.”

He leans down capturing her lips in a passionate kiss as tears fall down both of their faces.

“Ethan, aren’t you worried that someone will see?”

“No. After almost losing you, I’ve decided that there are more important things to worry about than what people will think. I love you with all my heart, Evelyn Long.”

Through her tears, she smiles up at him.

“I love you too, Ethan.”

{Two Weeks Later}

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