#and to say that means confronting the first 24 years of my life where that wasn���t true

[angelmush]

the other day i walked around the golden lake w my love and the sun was setting hot and orange and we watched a brown duck preening through the weeds, ducking her head under the dark water. the cool lake swallowed up my tired feet to the ankles and we counted the dog walkers with their curly panting doodles and their handsome german shepherds and their whip smart little terriers and we admired the careful construction of a sand castle whose moat held determinedly against the lapping of the waves. we could feel in our chests the persistent thunderous thumping of celebratory music at the finish line of the lakeside 5k, welcoming each gasping runner across its bounds. and i felt like crying. i felt like curling into myself and crying. we walked through the swamp of the bird sanctuary afterwards and listened to the woods sing and croak and groan and then we went and got ube and yuzu gelato and devoured it suntired and sweating on the couch in our living room. and i was so overcome w a deep and true unshakeable happiness and a sort of confused grief that i wanted to sob and sob and sob.

[mono-blogs-art]

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko - The Lesbian Office RomCom You Needed

Blatant flirting, hilarious misunderstandings, and lesbian shenanigans aplenty - this show is funny, over-dramatic, and most of all gay as hell. Here's my review! Spoiler-free version first, and a more detailed spoiler-y version under the cut. I hope you enjoy!

A quick summary: Overall: 9/10, you should absolutely watch this! Genre: RomCom, with some serious elements and a heartfelt exploration of sexuality Watch if you are looking for... : A silly and fun time, a happy ending, misunderstandings, and character development. Highly recommended to watch this with your partner(s) or your sapphic friends! Watch out for... : Although the tone of the show is mostly comedic, it contains discussion & depiction of homophobia at the workplace and past trauma relating to that Where to watch: Official TL on GagaOOLala, or Fansubs by @furritsubs (highly recommended!)

"Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko" (Ayaka-chan wa Hiroko-senpai ni Koishiteru) is a Jdrama adaption of a manga by the same title. The series premiered this year July 2024 and has wrapped up a short while ago, with a total runtime of 8 episodes of 24 minutes each.

The title of the show already says all; the plot is simple: Junior staff member Ayaka is head-over-heels for Hiroko, her senior at the company she works at. And she has decided to go on the offensive.

There are many obstacles in Ayaka's way: first of all, Hiroko is 13 years older than her (they are 23 and 36), and her superior at the workplace. Hiroko is beloved by both her superiors as well as her staff, so Ayaka's love for her is just one of many. And no matter how blatantly she ups her advances (and girl, she is BOLD), Hiroko is 100% convinced that all the flirting is just misplaced, straight-woman obliviousness.

The irony of it all is that Ayaka is absolutely barking up the right tree, because Hiroko is a lesbian, but has been firmly in the closet at work - something that she has no plans on changing. Her professional life and her personal must stay completely separate, at all cost. The only place she can truly be herself is the lesbian bar she's been a regular at for years.

^ Me when I'm a lesbian disaster doing insane mental gymnastics

However, "giving up" is not in Ayaka's vocabulary. As her seduction attempts keep escalating and being misunderstood, Hiroko's hard exterior begins to crumble bit by bit. Can Hiroko finally overcome her rigid ways, and let herself fall for someone?

Although the show is first and foremost a comedy, both Ayaka and Hiroko as characters are handled really well. They have their own problems, insecurities, reservations about the other, and both have a simple but great arc over the course of the series. Ayaka is discovering her sexuality, something she had never even considered before falling for Hiroko. What does being in love with a woman mean for her future? And Hiroko, who is already very confident in her sexuality, is confronted by her past trauma, and the fact that she's still not ready to come out despite the changing times. And while being undercover has saved her career in the past, it has also made her feel alone and isolated. She likes Ayaka back, but can't allow her true colors to show.

Something that I find very hard to achieve with comedy shows is the switch between funny and serious, and I think that Ayahiro manages this very well. Both of our main characters feel grounded enough in reality that when they get emotional, it feels relatable and sincere. For a silly show like this, striking a balance like that is crucial, and save for a few pacing issues in the later half of the show (that I honestly didn't mind at all), I think the show totally nails it. Ayahiro is not a realistic show, but it contains elements of reality that made me connect to it, despite all the insane shenanigans that go on. And because of that the show made me laugh and cry as much as it did, often in the same episode. It works, and Kudos to the writers (and actors!) for that.

Speaking of actors, one thing I must mention is that the show is very well made. The actors (especially Mori Kanna as Hiroko is the standout for me, she has a natural charisma and gay swagger) do a fantastic job, the leads' chemistry is great. The production overall has some real money behind it, with lots of changing sets that all look great and have been crafted with care. Ayaka's outfits are absolute KILLER, she is giving insane femme energy. The show also looks very pretty, the color graders turn that saturation up to 100 and it fits Ayaka's rose-tinted world well.

That's it for the spoiler-less part, I'll now get into specific characters and plot points with full spoilers up to the end of the series under the cut. If you don't want to get spoiled, I hope the review until now made you want to watch the show for yourself! I hope you enjoy!

First of all I need to disclaim that I have not read the original manga that she show is based on, so I can't compare the series to its original and how the plot is written there. I do intend to read it (I hope it gets localized to German so I can support the official release, but I might check out the English Official TL anyway before that) but for now, I will only judge the series as is.

Ayaka: Our protagonist is a femme fatale, in... another meaning of the word, I guess. She is a disaster, bad at pretty much everything she does except not giving up. Once she has set her mind to something, she will get it done. That leads her to often be inconsiderate and unable to see what others around her are feeling, which goes mostly for her best friend Risa, but also for Hiroko, whose feelings she also fails to consider even when pursuing her. Ayaka has to learn the hard way that her naivete is hurting others, and herself. She hasn't really thought her advances through, simply acting on instinct. But as the series goes on, she takes her feelings and her newly discovered sexuality seriously, and grows comfortable with calling herself a lesbian. She is also unashamedly horny, like, Oh My God, this girl is trying to get laid so bad. This is hilarious and refreshing to see, and although her seduction attempts are often played as comedic, it doesn't feel like she is being ridiculed for her sexuality by the show. Ayaka often crosses boundaries (physical and emotional) with Hiroko, both out of naivite and in deliberate attempts to seduce her. To me this was never truly infuriating, even though sometimes she really did go too far, but for me it always kept in tone with the comedy of the show. Even when Ayaka finally comes out in front of the entire office, she makes it clear that she doesn't want Hiroko to do the same if she's not ready.

Hiroko: Our deuteragonist is probably my favourite character in the show, and I think she's very relatable and well done. As an older lesbian, she's got plenty of experience, having even earned the title of "The Ace" in her lesbian friend circle for being a talented womanizer. But a traumatic experience of losing her last partner due to being found out at the workplace has changed her. She's afraid to get attached, she's unable to let people get close to her true self. So when Ayaka is fighting tooth and nail to get to her, Hiroko is caught in conflict between her feelings of attraction and her past trauma. She does everything in her power to dismiss Ayaka's advances to protect herself, and later when she learns that Ayaka is in fact not straight (duh), she still turns her down to protect Ayaka's (and her own) career. Hiroko is a bit of a conservative - something she's also called out for in her lesbian friend circle - she believes that coming out at work is impossible and irresponsible. And you know, I get it. Not only does she have personal bad experiences with exactly that, it's also not unreasonable to think it would be a bad idea to hook up with your junior of 13 years. Like, I get it girl. Hiroko is clearly attracted to Ayaka, not just physically but also emotionally, because Ayaka is everything Hiroko wants to be but can't. And that leads to Hiroko constantly underestimating Ayaka, even treating her like a child. She thinks Ayaka is not really thinking the gravity of her actions through, and she gets called out for that and has to overcome it. In the end, Hiroko ends up being a character that needs time, and needs to unlearn a whole bunch of shitty behaviour, something the show clearly also shows is being worked on and that Ayaka also respects (more on that later).

Risa: Easily the character I struggled with the most, Ayaka's best friend Risa is complicated. She's very observant but also shy, and secretly harbors a crush on Ayaka. Quietly struggling with her sexuality, she only decides to come out when she realises that Ayaka's feelings for Hiroko are serious. Oh, it's messy! She confesses to Ayaka, who in turn has to struggle with her feelings for someone else, but also not wanting to lose her closest confidant. And to her credit, Risa takes the rejection quite gracefully and continues to support Ayaka in her pursuit of Hiroko. However, Risa also outs Hiroko against her will to Ayaka, which... is just a shitty thing to do, even though she just wanted to help her friend. Good motive, still murder. After the conflict between Ayaka and Risa is resolved, Risa just kind of... is around, quietly worrying in her corner and kind of (in my opinion) overstepping her boundaries with Hiroko. I don't dislike Risa, but I thought her character was not done super well in parts, and although I understand the complicated situation she herself is in, the show doesn't really let her grow as much as the other characters. Anyway, good for her for bagging the hottest chick at the lesbian bar, though. Good for her!

The "break-up": The story's conflict comes to a peak when Hiroko finally realises there is only one way to shut this all down. She needs to fulfill Ayaka's desire, and then turn her down, once and for all. But Hiroko at this point still thinks Ayaka is immature and hasn't really thought her actions through. Ayaka sheepishly asks for a kiss, so Hiroko kisses her. "Now you've achieved everything you wanted." We're done, you can give up on me and this childish crush you have on me. And most importantly, I can let you go, too. Not realising that Ayaka wants much more. She wants a real relationship, she wants the kiss, sex, real emotions, she wants to see Hiroko's true self too. She wants a partnership.

The Finale: With the encouragement of her peers, Ayaka finds the courage to express her feelings to Hiroko one last time. And she finds just the right words to finally get through to her. Hiroko realises how much of an ass she's been all this time, how she ended up hurting the girl she loves and herself by denying herself happiness. This whole scene was so well done (Kudos to Kato Shiho as Ayaka, this is probably her best scene in the entire show), brother I cried so hard. And finally Hiroko can say what she should have a long time ago: "I'm sorry."

One year later: In the show's worst case of bad pacing, we immediately cut from their tearful reunion to "one year later", lol. I don't mind the sudden jump too much, but maybe a bit of a slower fade-out would have softened the blow, because I think a few people probably found this very jarring xD not too bad for me. I was actually positively surprised that we actually get to see the aftermath, see how their relationship has developed a year into it.

I've seen a few people complain about this "no-sex scene" (lol) and I just want to add my two cents. I actually really like how this scene played out, for two reasons. Reason 1 is that it's just very much in-character for Hiroko. We've seen her struggle back-and-forth with the intimacy Ayaka wanted from her for the past 7.5 episodes, and her own internalised homophobia and constant fear of "crossing the line". She's a traumatized person, and it makes total sense to me that even one year into the relationship, she's still struggling with sexual intimacy. Sure, a whole year is a long time not having sex with your partner (even though you both clearly wanted to from day 1) but like... it makes sense for Hiroko. She's still working through the past 10+ years of repression. I do understand how this scene can be interpreted as "the show is afraid to show them being horny and sexy together, they're cowards for making Hiroko so obsessed with Ayaka's "purity" etc" and like, yes, that is a totally valid interpretation, but IMO also a quite bad faith one.

"I'm happy to know you feel that way. Which is why, could you please wait a little more, just until I sort my feelings out?" "What?" "I want to cherish you, Ayaka." "Right." "I'm sorry for everything, Ayaka." "For everything?" "In the end, it seems like I still haven't came out yet. I understand that I'm making you endure something when you don't have to. But… I do want to be with you, and I want to keep my job. I'm really sorry for making you put up with my selfishness."

^ Like, that is the conversation that follows. It's not just about sex for Hiroko, that kind of intimacy holds a deeper meaning to her and she's just not ready for it yet, and trying to sincerely tell her partner that. And when Ayaka reaffirms her willingness to be patient in this scene and is respectful of Hiroko's choice, Hiroko realizes that she's being a stupid coward, and finally makes a decision...

... to come out in front of the whole office, who's been gossiping about their relationship the whole year anyway.

And that is the end of the show!

So really, Hiroko did manage to overcome her fears in the end, and it took her a whole year into a healthy relationship to do so. And I think that is honestly much more realistic than some people would like to believe. Is the smooch in front of the whole office silly and cheesy and over-dramatic? Of course, but that's the entire show so far. And if you think that kiss-and-dip is dumb then I can't help you, I think you just don't like fun.

Oh yeah, and my reason 2 why I thought that no-sex scene was done well is because it's just funny. Ayaka has been DTF since minute 1 of the show, and her still being unable to get it this far into it is just funny. I would have loved a little nod to them finally getting down at the very, very end, but eh, I can live with it like this. They've conquered the emotional hurdles, I'm certain they will cross that other bridge when they get there on their own time.

Conclusion: "Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko" is a great and incredibly funny lesbian show that touched me emotionally much more than I thought it would. It made me cry several times, the production and acting quality positively surprised me, and honestly deserves my Nr 2 spot of favourite Lesbian JDrama after Tsukutabe (which is a 10/10 show) for now. I really hope this type of show gets imitators, adapting relatively short stories into mini-series with great quality. I appreciate the more adult tone of this series, its shameless comedy while still being able to hit serious beats with real emotion. From what I've seen of the BTS, the actors and staff also handled the subject matter with respect and care and had a lot of fun making the show. I don't think a season 2 is needed, but I do hope that the series can inspire more similar works. I love Ayaka and Hiroko, and I'm so happy they got their happy ending, and by God, I hope they have the best sex ever in their beautiful lesbian future. God bless.

That's it from me, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this show as much as I did! Hopefully see you soon!

[huboi]

“it wasn’t your fault”

[muzan kibutusuji, kokushibo and akaza x gn! reader]

╰┈➤ includes; mentions of r*pe, self loathing, death (not reader), please note this is a triggering topic so readers’ discretion is advised

╰┈➤ extras; this was a request, sadly I can’t tag them cause tumblrs’ being a bitch about it so I just hope that the requester comes across this

╰┈➤ a/n; it’s important to note I haven’t dealt with anything like this personally, so apologies if this doesn’t seem realistic or is badly done, I will try my damndest to be as respectful as possible with this fic

ʚ ═══･୨ ꕤ ୧･═══ ɞ

muzan kibutusuji

yes, he’s a demon, not just any demon but the king of demons, which certainly means he cares for no one, especially not a human of all things right?

wrong

muzan originally planned on turning you, when something in his dead heart jumped for joy at the sight of your face, he just couldn’t turn you

and so he protected you when needed and eventually you ended up dating

one thing he noticed is that whenever he goes to touch or kiss you etc. you seem to back off or hesitate, you believe he doesn’t notice but he does

he’s also noticed you tend to cover your body 24/7 with baggy clothing and never wear short sleeved shirts or shorts

when he confronted you about it, you just burst into tears, thinking he would dump you or blame you for what they did to your body

with a comforting embrace, and some time to mull it over, you decided to tell him what happened

muzan was furious to say the least, not at you, never, he was furious at the disgusting person who dared to lay their filthy hands on you without your consent

he gives you little kisses on your face (with consent of course) and hugs you close whilst assuring you “it’s not your fault”

later on when he was sure you were fast asleep, he took care of a certain someone

safe to say that that person will never touch you again

ʚ ═══･୨ ꕤ ୧･═══ ɞ

kokushibo

it’s pretty obvious he’s a demon

so as soon as you guys crossed paths, you could tell he wasn’t human by his face alone

at first you were worried he was gonna hurt you, but he simply shrugged and explained how he doesn’t bother killing people unless necessary

somehow you guys ended up in a relationship and bam!

you’re one of the most protected people in Japan

kokushibos’ weary eyes couldn’t help but notice your hesitancy towards his intimate advances, no matter how simple

he could also tell you held some sort of self hatred towards yourself, as he had been in your position hundreds of years ago

he brings it up one afternoon, explaining how he wants to make sure you’re both comfortable in the relationship

you hesitantly give him the answer, expecting for him to kill you on the spot

only for the usually stoic demon to wrap you into a tight hug, arms trembling and face contorted in anger

“it’s not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong” he seethed, before asking if you remember what they look like

after giving him a brief description of them he was off in a flash, seemingly teleporting to god knows where

the person trembled, cowering into a corner begging for their life to be spared, kokushibo simply unsheathing his sword and landing cuts all over them so they can bleed out slowly and die from the blood loss

when coming back from his deeds, kokushibo saw you in bed wrapped up in the blanket, he simply climbed in after you and hugged you from behind

ʚ ═══･୨ ꕤ ୧･═══ ɞ

akaza

definitely the most angry out of all three demons

he will hunt everywhere for this person and won’t take a break until he finds them and breaks them himself

when he does come across this ‘human’, he will personally punch them so that they die from a slow painful death

when coming back to you, akaza will simply be there for you throughout the healing process/trauma

he hates how the monster caused you so much trauma

akaza is always there for you if you want to vent or talk about your feelings

if anything like that ever happens again, tell him, he’ll be there for you and will also personally deal with the monster that did this to you

ʚ ═══･୨ ꕤ ୧･═══ ɞ

© content belongs to @huboi, please refrain from republishing on any other platforms! I don’t own the characters in this story

[scoobydoodean]

Looking at your recent posts/reblogs has reminded me of how much I hate the conversation between Dean and Bobby at the beginning of 4.22 when Dean is trying to deal with the fact that Sam has chosen to trust Ruby instead of him, when Dean can see that he’s obviously being manipulated, and, in response, Bobby just says

You stupid, stupid son of a bitch! Well, boo hoo, I am so sorry your feelings are hurt, princess! Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good?! Bake you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!

and I feel like that line just summarizes how so many people view Dean both in the show & in discourse about it: that whenever he’s upset by something someone does, he’s being overdramatic, and the tension it creates is his fault for not just accepting that his loved ones will make him miserable.

(& the context of the quote is kind of the perfect example of this because Dean has spent the whole season trying to deal with his own trauma from hell & the fact that the angels won’t leave him alone while also continually giving Sam chances to be upfront about what’s going on with him and trying to warn him that Ruby is manipulating him into doing what she wants, and when that tension finally breaks because Sam refuses to believe—or even consider—any of Dean’s suspicions about Ruby, Dean is basically told by Bobby that he should just let it go)

I agree with you—and that speech is absolute trash.

To frame Bobby's reaction here a little, he and Dean have some conversations in 4.21 and 4.22 that I think leave Bobby pretty unsettled. I think his emotional reaction is driven by that.

In 4.21, Dean and Bobby don't see things the same way when it comes to Sam's demon blood detox and they also disagree on Dean intending to sacrifice himself by signing himself over to the angels to protect Sam. So I'd say leading into 4.22, Bobby is already apprehensive about Sam and Dean both being killed. We know he didn't weather Dean's death at the end of season 3 well.

In 4.22, right before Bobby blows up at him, Dean is also jumping to some conclusions about his relationship with Sam that are pretty extreme.

DEAN No, damnit! No. I gotta face the facts. Sam never wanted part of this family. He hated this life growing up. Ran away to Stanford first chance he got. Now it's like déjà vu all over again. Well, I am sick and tired of chasing him. Screw him, he can do what he wants. BOBBY You don't mean that. DEAN Yes I do, Bobby. Sam's gone. He's gone. I'm not even sure if he's still my brother anymore. If he ever was.

I think Dean having to work through thoughts like this is understandable given probably less than 24 hours ago, Sam was strangling him unconscious in absolutely seething rage, had spent the entirety of the season lying to Dean and then getting indignant when Dean caught on, and reiterated the incredibly damaging things he said about Dean's hell trauma from 4.14. At the same time, I don't think Dean's thinking straight. Sam's motivations in the demon blood arc are incredibly multi-faceted... but hating hunting or their family simply is not part of this situation. This is made most clear to us just a couple episodes before in 4.19 (where Sam tries to push Adam into hunting and praises their father for teaching them to protect themselves—and this certainly didn't go unnoticed by Dean who confronted him about it). The bit about not wanting to hunt hasn't been true in years and won't resurface again for several more. It seems like Dean is just swirling through a lot of unaddressed hurt and misunderstandings from the past as he processes through the last year.

I think Dean saying he is done trying and he has tried and tried and tried and he is not doing it anymore is completely reasonable (he also has no idea yet that Lilith is the last seal), but I think when presented with the harm Bobby knows Sam is doing to his body by proceeding, thinking about "his boys", Bobby sees Sam as being in more imminent danger and wants Dean to reach out one last time to try and get through to him. Dean's rare show of verbal processing sets Bobby on edge and because he's human too, he says some stupid things. And if we're being real, Bobby is like this sometimes. I love Bobby to death, and in a general sense, I think he's very caring and supportive toward the people he loves. But when he himself is scared or angry or otherwise agitated, his patience evaporates and other people's vulnerability makes him upset. "The Curious Case of Dean Winchester" is a more sympathetic example of this. Bobby is angry and raw and deeply depressed, and Dean's well-meaning love and support—no matter how casually offered—is received like poison because it reminds him that he is not okay. The same sort of language about Dean being a pansy and how they're both going to "grow lady parts" shows up from Bobby in this episode.

I go back and forth on what Kripke was thinking when he wrote that dialogue, because the man is absolutely obsessed with the exploration of "toxic masculinity", which I think he's done well at times and extremely poorly at others, and I think Bobby's speech clearly embodies that interest. At the same time, I actually do think that, leading into season 5, there are some aspects to the fallout of Sam and Dean's season 4 conflict that are ultimately just very lazily brushed over and so I do think he bought the shit he had Bobby shoveling to an extent. Setting the content and tone aside, in a vacuum, the idea that Dean has to be the one to reach out—while exhausting—plays into the idea of Dean as the hero character. And when I say this, I don't mean that Sam isn't a hero. Sam is VERY much trying to be the unconventional hero this season. But Dean is often made to embody the concept of the righteous hero as an ideal, and part of being the righteous hero in season 4 means ultimately being... right (in more ways than you even knew) but another part of it is having to be the bigger person. Your wrath has to be tempered by love. We could go further down this rabbithole as far as themes and meta narrative, but none of this, from a human perspective, makes me like this speech any more. It just sucks balls.

[spideyanakin]

let me be your harley (e.m)

requested by - @chloefrl // cheerleader!popular!reader and eddie are friends, he always makes her laugh and smile 24/7 , and Eddie is in love with her (let’s say since first year of high school) when he was about to confess his feelings for her, he saw her talking to a jock and that made him realize he wasn’t enough for her so he backed off. Reader noticed this, and confronted him. And he confessed his feelings about her and with something along the lines “your a queen, and I’m just your joker.” Then obv reader says she also likes him and they date :D

warnings - smoking, angst but ends fluff <3, friends to lovers

back to main masterlist

eddie munson masterlist

the playlist

Eddie Munson never thought he could have a friend like you.

Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined being best friends with the prettiest girl in school, let alone someone who also happens to be a cheerleader and crowned princess of Hawkins.

But there he was, on a random Tuesday evening, sitting on his bed with a joint dancing back and forth between his fingers and your own, babbling about your favorite lord of the Rings characters.

"What do you mean Legolas is an asshole?" You chuckled as you took a new puff, Eddie watching as your cheeks hallowed and half of your exhale passed through your nose before the rest of the smoke came out of your mouth. You stole a new drag before handing it to Eddie.

"You don't remember that moment in the two towers where he let Aragorn bend down to listen to the earth and struggle and shit and waited for him to come to the conclusion that indeed a whole ass army was headed towards them, and Legolas was just 'oh yeah I spotted them like an hour ago."

"Oh yeah, I remember," you giggled, "but he's not an asshole for this. Legolas is one of my favorite characters," you frowned, turning your head to face Eddie.

You smiled, finding his big brown eyes already staring at you. He smiled back, blowing smoke in your face to make you laugh--and it worked, because you swatted the smoke with a giggle, playfully slapping his chest before leaning on his shoulder.

Eddie wrapped his arm around you, letting you melt at his side.

You hummed in comfort, feeling safe in the warmth of Eddie's arms. Your eyes closing by themselves as you felt your high seep through you.

Eddie broke the silence, cheek leaning against the crown of your head, "he's a good character, but elves can be assholes in general in lord of the Rings."

"Don't shit on the elves, Munson," you hit his chest with the back of your hand, leaning away from his shoulder to meet his eyes again.

A new fit of laughter escaped you both the second your eyes met.

At this moment Eddie couldn't help but stare at you. You had this giddy high smile on your lips and shiny eyes. Hair poking all over the place, your cheer uniform wrinkled from laying down, sleeve falling off one shoulder. You made eye contact again and Eddie thought he was going to pass out.

His heart leaped in his chest and somehow he knew, he knew that he couldn't keep his feelings to himself for much longer.

He had already been head over heels for you since the first time he saw you in that high school cafeteria, and he knew he was ready to lay his life for you the second you exchanged words for the first time.

He had struggled to let the words 'thanks' and 'bye' in the same sentence, causing him to mumble something in between, you had given him the sweetest smile in return and waved your perfectly manicured hand goodbye.

He had to pinch himself every day since the moment Mrs. Smith had paired the two of you for a school project and you had, since then, somehow decided Eddie was a worthy friend: because you stuck around ever since.

He didn't even know how in the world you had anything in common in the first place.

But from the first time you had worked together outside of school, you took him by surprise.

He didn't even think it was possible for someone like you to feel so comfortable in his room, but he thought his eyes were going to pop out of his skill as he watched you graze your fingers excitedly over his Metallica poster, commenting about how much you loved them.

Eddie thought he was going to die right there.

But then, he ascended to heaven when you excitedly pointed to his music tapes your voice feeling like an angel's as you asked him the most obvious question: 'oh my god you listen to that too?'. He blinked, the question taking him by surprise. Wasn't it obvious? With the way he dressed and his reputation.

He barely nodded, too dumbfounded to form a proper sentence.

His eyes scanned you as you wrapped your fingers around another tape you hadn't noticed before, cheering as you showed it to Eddie. 'Oh my god, this is one of my favorites!' his breath caught in his throat as you asked permission to put said tape in his player. You turned up the volume and Eddie knew he was a goner when you started singing over Ozzy Osbourn's voice.

Needless to say, Eddie knew you had been a gift sent from heaven right this moment.

Or maybe you were sent from hell, destined to torment him. For him to fall helplessly in love with you just to never get a chance.

But you liked him back, right?

right.

"God, I wish I could join hellfire." You blinked and turned to him. "I wish I could play an elf too. I have so many ideas for my character..."

"I wish you could too, princess."

And that marked the end of a perfect evening with you.

You would go back to your house, take a shower and wash your uniform in a poor attempt to hide that you had been smoking. You would make yourself something to eat and finish up your homework, reminiscing about how off being in the cheer squad started to feel.

Your friends felt faker and faker by the second, and dancing in a green skirt accompanied with fluffy pom poms didn't feel right anymore, it didn't feel like you.

~

That morning, Eddie came to school with his intention set. A poorly written speech of what he wanted to tell you crumpled in the pocket of his leather jacket, keywords written in blue on his wrist, but the ink was already smudged by second period.

He felt nervous and jittery since he opened his eyes this morning, sunlight creeping in his poorly closed curtains. The light filtered in and lit up the space where he stuck all his best polaroid photos on his wall.

His eye caught his favorite one, and then it was all a reminder of what he promised himself today was going to be.

This was it.

He was going to muster all the courage he could and ask you ask on a date, jump into the potential abyss of ruining your picture-perfect friendship, with the potential of being able to call you his by the end of the day.

It took him some serious pep talk in the mirror and maybe even half of an old joint he found, hidden in the corner of his room by his guitar.

He was determined to meet with you in the woods, at your usual meeting spot. To sit at the mossy table, share a blunt and a pack of cookies as you gossiped on the latest Hawkins High news. He'd offer if you wanted to share his pack Twix bar, 'how romantic' he thought, and maybe once a comfortable silence had fallen, he would slide in the idea.

If his mouth would let him let the words out.

He knew it wasn't perfect, he knew it was far from the grand romantic gestures you deserved--but it was the best he could offer you in these conditions.

Knowing the fact that your time together always ran short, that you had to hide in between the trees or the comfort of your own homes to just be together--romantic of platonic.

And also knowing that if he didn't let his heart out today, he would probably burst into flames.

So he let out a deep breath, rearranging his bangs in the rearview mirror, fixing his jacket one last time, and making sure there wasn't anything stuck in between his teeth.

He looked around, spying on the crowd through the safe haven of his windshield. He spotted your car, but you were nowhere near it. You were probably already inside, fishing books from your locker or chatting with which ever of your cheerleader bimbo ‘friends’ had caught your attention.

He focused on not making his hand shake as he opened the door of his van, hands immediately finding shelter in his pockets as he made his way inside the school building.

It felt like everyone was staring at him as he made his way through the crowded hallway to reach his own locker. The random eyes that he would normally pay no attention too seemed to be staring right into his soul, judging him and telling him ‘you don’t stand a chance’

But he knew that was far from the truth. No one was reading into his mind, and no one had a laser vision that could see through leather and into his pocket, where they’re be able to read the rehearsed words Eddie had thrown together as if he was writing a new song for his band.

He felt like he was going crazy. Every little noise, every squeaking of a shoe, every locker closing: he could hear. A hyper awareness that made the hair of his arms spike despite his fight to keep himself calm and collected.

He reached his own locker. Easily doing the combination before opening it.

Crumpled papers over crumpled papers. Two stray markers and one ball pen sat in the middle of it all. A stash of weed hidden beneath the pile of scribbled pages, and a stray D and D dice, to which Eddie didn’t even know which set it belonged to. He thinks maybe it use to be Jeff’s old set, he vaguely remembered him using brownish dice for a while.

But he didn’t bother much longer with the question, because it had been weeks since it found itself on the bottom of Eddie’s locker and it would probably stay there until he graduated.

Out of the pile he picked out a virgin page, ripping it in half. He grabbed the first marker that his hands fell upon. An orange color with a thick tip to write, making his letters big and bulky as he scribbled

'meet me in the woods at lunch -E’

He folded the paper as neatly as he could, stuffing it in the back pocket of his jeans.

He waited until the hallway of your locker was a minimal emptied out, students filtering out and heading to their classrooms. He fumbled with his favorite ring, eyes scanning for any potential sneaky glances,

Your locker was almost there, he was halfway to victory, hand already reaching for his back pocket.

But then he saw you.

His face fell.

Your hair was tied up with its usual green ribbon, a bright smile plastered on your face as you spoke with one of the popular jocks; Chad.

He closed his eyes and breathed out through his nose, realization hitting him. He felt the floor crumble under him, ready for the world to swallow him whole.

Chad was the real-life version of a Ken doll. Perfect, shiny blonde hair that would make Steve jealous if he was still in school, a pearly white grin that made Eddie's stomach twist, and crystal blue eyes accompanied with the most charming aura.

He was a jock, with perfect grades, a fuck load of money, and everything else Eddie lacked. Popularity dripped from him. Everything Chad possessed that Eddie missed. You deserved someone who could grant you the moon if you wished--and Eddie could barely afford a diner date.

He watched as you slightly leaned against him: Chad flashing you his best smile as he spoke. He ran his hand through his perfect short curls, watching as they bounced back perfectly on his forehead.

He was bluntly flirting with you and Eddie saw his hopes fly out the window quicker than he found the courage to gather them.

The way you smiled as your conversation went on was enough for him to back away. Fist closing upon itself. He grabbed the piece of paper in his pocket, his 'poorly' written speech, and dumped it in the first trash that caught his eye.

He blinked, head falling down as he tried to burn the image of you with another guy out of his mind. He walked in the opposite direction, the realization that he didn't deserve you burning down his throat.

You were far too high in the Hawkins High food chain to even consider dating a guy like him. How could he have been so stupid?

You made him high on love. High on the hope that you could be an item. The way you were so comfortable around him, and how you made his head spin by doing the simplest of action.

But deep down he always knew this was a dream that he was going to have to snap out of. You needed someone like Chad. Someone with a good reputation and who doesn't take rides in the back of the sheriff's cars on a regular basis.

You might have similar tastes in music and common interests, but that was about it. Your social circles weren't compatible and he felt like a fool to even think he could have a chance.

~

He felt enough like a fool after that morning, he didn't need the pain in his heart to become worse by having you around.

Three weeks into his poor cover-ups and attempts to push you away, he only felt himself sink deep into his misery. No amount of Ozzy or Dio was enough to help him crawl out of this pit of pain he out himself into.

And as if things couldn't get worse, the pained look on your face every time you tried to comfort Eddie and he'd lay out yet again a poor excuse for his distance was now engraved in his mind--a reminder that not only was he destroying himself but he was bringing you down with him in the process.

But you'd heal, and faster than he ever could.

He knew you would.

He watched from the far end of the hellfire table, head hung in mystery as he looked down at the pretzels he didn't have an appetite for.

Gareth and Jeff were sharing a look, wondering if they should just go into a conversation of their own and pretend like Eddie wasn't moping right in front of their eyes. Lately, ignoring him seemed to be the only way to keep the party safe from his mood.

Eddie looked up once he had enough of staring at the dry food on his plate. He scanned the cafeteria and it didn't take him long to find you--looking perfect as always.

But in his staring, he was oblivious to the way your eyes didn't hold the same brightness as they usually did, and that the excited tone when you spoke to your friends was gone--blown with the harsh storm that had been Eddie's ignorance.

Of course, Eddie couldn't see the sleepless nights and the way your diner plates had remained full for the past few days. He couldn't truly see the inner turmoil that was rumbling inside your bones and keeping you from sanity.

But how could he? It was all hidden behind your perfect practiced cheerleader smile.

And when Eddie spotted that perfect smile from a distance, he didn't think twice before jumping to conclusions: you had finally moved on.

As Eddie looked back down to his poor lunch, he knew one thing to be clear: he was simply a useless passing villager in your game of life. He thought of himself to be like one of those useless NPCs he invented for his campaigns.

Boy if only he knew how wrong he was.

~

On the second day of the third week, you had enough.

If Eddie was going to ignore you, you at least needed a reason, something to justify the pang in your heart each time your eyes landed on him from a distance.

So you held your books a little tighter in your hand, your pink nails gripping your sticker-filled yellow spiral notebook tighter as you made your way out of the cafeteria. You watched like a hawk, keeping a certain distance so as to not raise suspicion. Eddie was speaking with one of his fellow Hellfire members; Jeff. The boy was nodding at whatever his dungeon master was telling him, and Eddie was fiddling with his rings: something you knew he did when he was nervous.

What did he have to be nervous about?

Eddie was soaked to the bone with confidence, that was the whole armor he wore so your so-called friends wouldn't eat him alive.

Did this have something to do with you?--There was no way of knowing, but you were growing suspicious of Eddie's change of behavior; towards both yourself and his faltering confidence.

The bell rang and as per usual, Eddie didn't budge from his spot. His friend had already scurried off to class but despite the rush happening around him, he took his time, stuffing his drug-filled lunch box into his locker and attempting to sort out the mess of misused books and stray notes he might need for the afternoon.

You closed your own locker, mumbling something to your friend, shooting her a smile as she left you alone.

The corridor fell empty, apart from you and Eddie; but didn't have seem to notice your presence, or at least if he did he did not make a move to talk to you or run away like he had usually done these past few weeks.

If he hadn't been ignoring you, maybe you would have smiled at the way he was figuring out what his own handwriting meant. Smiled at the way he was placing the paper in every angle possible to try and decipher if this was a useful piece of information for the hours to come. But when he finally cracked it, like an ancient code meant to keep safe the best of treasures, he mumbled something you didn't catch from the distance and stuffed it back in between the unorganized line of notebooks.

This wasn't the paper he was searching for.

"You need help finding something?" Your voice made him jump, making you crack a smile at the startled look on his face.

"Jesus, don't scare me like that," he mumbled before fishing for a bright blue notebook. He opened it to make sure it was the right one, and when he read Math, sloppily written in big letters across the front page, he tucked the book under his arm. He didn't share another word with you, probably waiting for you to make your purpose by his side known.

He tucked a 4 colored pen behind his ear and closed his locker, not bothering to close the lock.

"Can we talk?"

"Not, now I have to get to class, and so do you," he pointed to the clock behind you and you crossed your arms.

But your stance didn't seem to bother him much, because he turned on his heel and started walking away.

It took you a second to remember why you were here, you had enough of whatever was going on with him--and you wouldn't let him run away on you again.

So you caught up with him and stood your grown in front of him, trying to take as much space as possible--but probably failing to look an ounce more intimidating than nature allowed you to be.

But nonetheless, you still spoke, words slashing the air; "You're ignoring me." It was a statement--a firm one that almost made him flinch.

You saw his expression falter from shock to something else. A color you didn't recognize in Eddie, maybe pain, hurt? Your heart sunk down to your feet as réalisation hit you.

Did you really do something that bad?

He was staring right at you, big brown eyes intently staring your face, maybe trying to decipher your emotions, trying to read your mind so he could make a decision on his next move.

"No I haven't," but instead of doing anything remotely productive to help the conversation like you’d hope; he lied.

"Yes, you have," he watched as your face fell, more pieces of his heart shattering in the process. "Have I done something wrong?" The way you frowned was overwhelming. "I promise I didn't mean to, Eddie we can talk this out."

Eddie felt like he was about to burst, all of the predicaments he tried to convince himself were true falling to the ground and breaking with the last of his heart.

He had to close his eyes to stop himself from wanting to rip his hair out or cry.

You were blaming yourself, for something that was all him.

His fears came true, he had dragged you down into misery with him.

"Y/n, of course not-" you watched him stumble with his words.

"Then why are you ignoring me," Your tone might have seemed firm but he could tell the way your voice wavered.

You were hurt.

And it was all his fault.

He sighed, barely managing to meet your eyes again.

"Because I'm not good enough for you."

You blinked, trying to make sense of his words.

"What?"

"I'm not good enough for you!" He lifted his voice a bit, but not enough to make you flinch. "You're- you're perfect. It's as if god had taken everything that's perfect and made you—and then there's me, who is everything but perfect. A freak who was apparently meant to fall for someone he cannot have," he went on, too busy going on a rampage to notice the way your breath caught in your throat.

"Because," he looked into your eyes, a look so intense it almost gave you chills. "You're a queen, and I’m just your joker. And The Joker cannot fall in love with the queen of Gotham, she deserves Batman, the handsome Bruce Wayne. Not the madman."

You swallowed as you realized this was a love confession. Eddie’s eyes were wide, almost hectic, and the more you stared at him the more you realised this was him rambling on about how, he reciprocated your feelings but thought you could never.

Your ached when you registered the way he had just talked about himself, but quickly it was replaced by anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach for anyone in this damn town that made him feel this way.

Because your Eddie deserved the world, and he most definitely deserved someone like you. He even deserved the entire of Gotham to be at his feet.

You took a step closer, mustering bits of courage you still held, "Harley Quinn and the Joker made a pretty good pair the last time I checked."

Eddie felt the air pull out of his lungs as you spoke, his brain working overtime as it attempted to comprehend the coded message.

"What do you mean?" He breathed out, watching you get even closer to him.

"Let me be your Harley," you brushed his hand, making goosebumps travel up his arm. His fingers slowly interlacing with yours, eyes getting glossy. "I might be the Queen of Gotham, but I'm far from wanting Batman," you giggled, continuing to close the distance between you.

Before he could blink again, you were already on your tip toes leaning in for a kiss. You were already lowering yourself back to your normal height before Eddie registered what happened.

But when he did, his lips were on yours again—chasing for the feeling he had dreamed about for months now.

Eddie thought his brain was going to overheat.

Not even ten minutes ago, he thought every chance he had with you had been long gone, sunk deep into lovers lake with the other broken romances and unrequited loves.

But there he was, kissing the girl of his dreams in the middle of a school hallway.

And it was everything he had ever dreamt it would be.

"So, I'm really perfect?" You smirked as you pulled away from the kiss just for Eddie to chase your lips again, muttering 'Yes' in between kisses.

Eddie finally pulled away when the information had fully registered.

"How in the world do you like me back?" He blinked in disbelief.

"Because you're perfect?" He shook his head no, but you persisted, "you’re perfect for me, Eddie."

find the archived version here

[amidstnamjin-and-binchanlix]

how long can you stand the heat || ot7

Warnings: Uhhh, none I think? Non-graphical smut and slight angst, but that's pretty much it for now since I'm still crafting the next part, and some curse words lmao.

I won't control you, but MDNI. This is not for you, please.

Pairings: OT7/(F) Reader, Jackson Wang/(F) Reader

Plot: The one where your soulmates don't want you in their life, so you give them what they want and stay out of their way.

Genre: not really unrequited love (but they're all idiots), mutual pining, angst, denial of feelings, poly ot7

How do you think I'm going to get along

Without you when you're gone?

You took me for everything that I had

And kicked me out on my own.

Are you happy? Are you satisfied?

How long can you stand the heat?

Out of the doorway the bullets rip

To the sound of the beat.

mixtape: all i have left to give - part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - ending 1

I originally posted this on ao3 last April but I've just recently thought, "why not post this on tumblr now that i'm using it again after a few years?"

this fic is v self-serving, and was brought to you by my ✨maladaptive daydreams✨

first fic i posted here. idek what im doing but lezzgawwww

Title obviously came from AOBTD. Thank you, Sir John Deacon. You are heaven-sent for making this iconic and legendary bop.

This will be a part of a multi-fic series and i've already crafted 80/90-ish% of the next part im so sorry my mind isn't cooperating rn

✨️

God must be testing your patience.

I mean sure, you might not also be sure that there is indeed a god out there somewhere. However, you must have pissed off some deity or you had pissed on some old man of the mound. Either way, you don't care. You're pissed off now, too.

You see when they rejected you and asked (read: avoided you like the plague until Sejin spoke with you) not to speak or interact with them, you respected their wishes. It stung, but it's not really surprising.

It's not a secret that the seven of them are soulmates, polyamorous soulbonds not even a rarity in and out of the industry. However, it's also not a secret that they're very exclusive and don't let too many (if any) other people in their circle because of the things they had to endure as a group. It makes sense that they wouldn't want a new person intruding and messing with their dynamics, soulmate or not.

(deep down you want to say it doesn't make sense. you're their soulmate, why can't they accept you like that? but there's still nothing you can do, isn't there?)

And so, you delegated all your tasks related to their group to your most trusted employees completely and avoided them at all costs. And by 'at all costs', you mean everything. You even deleted all their songs on your playlists and blocked them on social media (even on Spotify). You can co-exist with them without interacting, although it makes your chest ache through the bond because of the soul rejection like a 24/7 acid relapse.

It's fine. You can ignore all that. You can handle rejection. You've been used to this since you were a kid; adult you can handle this.

Soul rejection side effects? Nothing meds and doctors can't fix. Technology has never been more advanced and all that jazz.

You're a mature person, and you pride yourself on that. You don't like confrontations that much and would rather step back as much as you can to disengage. If your soulmates don't want anything to do with you, then you'll back off.

But you sometimes wonder if they can feel it too, the soul strings fraying and slowly decaying. After shit went down, it's bouts of nausea and dizziness, and constant chest aches for you. That's not even half of it. It'll take a whole day for you to list all your symptoms.

If they do feel it, does it add to their list of reasons why they hate your existence? You mean, they had been borderline antagonistic since your first meeting, cold but civil at best.

It was a contrast to the way the tiny soul marks on each of your fingers glowed on your first meeting even until after Taehyung and Yoongi fled in what you can guess is disbelief and refusal, the others following suit. The warmth in your hands felt scorching, and you had never wanted to scrub them with water in your life then more than you ever did, your chest beating hard and painfully. You remember feeling like someone slashed your insides with a hot knife, and it has never stopped being in pain ever since.

What else were you supposed to think other than they hate you?

Not wanting to risk another embarrassing conversation with Sejin (bless his heart), you decided to book an appointment and signed up for the relatively new soul-scraping therapy. It's still in its human trial stages and is slowly being recognized as a way of severing soul ties, albeit not approved and sanctioned by the government. Anything to give and honor their wishes. They're your soulmates, and it's innate in you to give people what they want.

(or was it really just that?)

All of that and everything else, you can take. You live and abide by your life motto to stay out of drama, so you take all of it in stride and with dignity because it's all you have left at this point when it comes to them.

This is where you got pissed off, though. This day takes the cake, this sodding party.

Attending the party was certainly not your idea. You're tired from the long-ass meetings you had today—JYP's team asked for a meeting for your agreement with Day6 since Sungjin got discharged a few months ago with Younghyun following suit in a few days. A party is definitely not on your to-do list. If it's up to you, you'll be going home to your phone and fics.

(and if they're bangtan fics, nobody has to know. this, you can let yourself have—you were advised against going cold turkey from them by the doctors handling the soul-scraping therapy, after all. if you can't have them, maybe you can at least indulge in fictional them.)

You have been minding your own business since you arrived at the bar. It's laughable how socially inept you are despite handling your business and meeting the entertainment industry's biggest names and leaders regularly. When being put in parties and other gigs that force you to socialize just for the sake of socializing, you're back to being the fat loser kid that avoided making new friends because the ones you previously had in childhood (if you can really call them that) can't understand how your brain and mouth work. Frankly, you don't, too, so you just preferred to stay in one corner until it's socially acceptable to go home.

"Hey." Jackson squeezes your hand in his and smiles worriedly at you. "You doing okay?"

Jackson had been a long-time friend and is someone you trust your whole life with. Jackson had seen you through your bests and worsts, but had never once turned his back on you or betrayed you as many people did.

Yeah, you would trust him with your whole life. Your panties too, but don't tell him that.

(there's no need to because he knows; he did lots of times before, with his face between your thighs and your undies in his pocket.)

"I'm good." You don't even bother smiling, knowing it won't convince him too much. He knows your stand on parties; you're his polar opposite, after all. "I just really wanna go home."

"Can I come with?" he asks with a salacious smile.

You roll your eyes.

"Stop being horny for five minutes, please."

"You shouldn't have worn that dress, then." He rakes you with an assessing look. "On second thought, that's the best decision you did tonight so far. If you're not going home with anyone tonight, my room's open."

"You up to be my wingman?" you ask.

"Sure. I'll sit with you all night so we can look like a swinger couple scouting for a third we can take home." He waggles his eyebrows.

You snort at that with an amused chuckle, oblivious to the glare(s) directed your way by—who else?—your soulmates.

They (Taehyung) heard from Manager Sejin and Noona Ae-cha that you're not sure if you can come. They didn't know why the two were talking about you, but Taehyung tried to act immersed in his phone while eavesdropping.

Apparently, you had been stuck in the boardroom almost all day with the back-to-back meetings, and you even had to cancel your doctor's appointment. For what the appointment is for, he didn't know. It explains your absence that day, and he files the information away at the back of his head. He can't for the life of him understand why he can't stop trying to spot crumbs about you.

(he does know, but he's in denial about why—and he'll deny both.)

He then told his hyungs and Jungkook, which they just nodded at, seemingly uninterested. But if Namjoon's faraway serious look at times is anything to go by or the way Jimin picks at the skin on his lips as he's lost in thought, he's pretty sure they are also subtly trying to figure out if you're coming.

(but they'll all deny that if asked.)

They haven't seen you that much since they started actively avoiding you months ago and shut down whatever soul link you have with them, and you are damn good at trying to stay out of their way.

It surprised them, they're not gonna lie. They expected you to put up a fight, but all Manager Sejin told them was that you agreed. You never interacted with them ever since unless it was really needed, and you were always wearing your rings and not making unnecessary eye contact even once.

(and that somehow pisses them off and itches under their skin because how dare you not be interested?)

And now you've been here for the past hour or so, Jackson Wang in tow. Or rather, Jackson has his arms alternately snaked around yours or slung around your shoulders. It makes Jackson look like a frat douchebag.

(and it makes taehyung look jealous and interested in you which he is so not, no.)

Hoseok was the first one to spot you arriving, Another One Bites The Dust thumping through the dancefloor that was bathed in red lights. He nudges Namjoon from his seat in their secluded and swanky VIP room that was separated one floor above the bar proper.

"There she is", he says then, gesturing towards you as all seven pairs of eyes land on you as you enter with Jackson. "She's with Wang."

With varying levels of internal turmoil, they all watch as Jackson led you through the throngs of people, presumably to another room like theirs. They see you shake your head and point to the bar, and Jackson's face light up with a wide smile before redirecting your steps.

Yoongi asks himself why you have to wear that dress or why Jackson has to clutch at your hands like a little kid, the others having a similar train of thought. Does Jackson think he's going to be lost in this bar? Is he that plain stupid to be lost in this bar, really?

And why are you letting him?

Jimin tries not to let his eyes wander on your legs, tries not to let his mind wander back to the thought of being choked by your thick supple legs and ripping that off-shoulder dress off you and—

Oh. Woah, there.

Stop it!��he thinks to himself and shakes his head.

(this is not the first time he's thought of this, darling. when he first saw those smooth and lovely-looking plump thighs, he knows he was fucked.)

Jin is no better, but he hides it better than the others. After all, it was not his idea to shut you out like that. He was opposed to it and tried to talk some sense into the others, but they didn't listen. He thought back then that Namjoon would at least be reasonable and give you a shot but nooo, the kid was stupid enough to listen to others.

Let them have what they want, then.

(he can feel the pit and longing in his chest some nights and thinks that maybe he can let the others do what they want but still do what he wants too. but he takes a look at the six men who had been there for him through thick and thin, and he can't lose them. he sends you an apology mentally, hoping you can at least feel it through the bond.)

"Calm down," Jin tells them levelly, trying to pry the glass off Namjoon's hand, lest he crushes it and injures himself. "You're crushing the poor thing, Joonie. Don't wanna end up in the ER, do you?"

Jackson's the one to end up in the ER if he doesn't unwrap his arms from your shoulders, that's who, Namjoon thinks to himself bitterly before he can stop himself.

Jin leans back on his seat and watches as you laugh with Jackson, arms slung around your shoulders as the latter listens to you talk. They all wouldn't have to seethe in barely contained anger if they just listened to him though, so who's at fault here?

Aish, these brats.

"I'm going to get more drinks," Jungkook suddenly says, disentangling himself from Taehyung fluidly.

"You can just ask them," Namjoon says, pointing towards the glass doors where their security detail is posed out of the room. "There's no need to go out."

"I'm going to get more drinks," Jungkook repeats firmly, ignoring him. Namjoon's jaw clenches. "Come help me, Jin-hyung?"

Ah, this conniving brat. Jin wants to kiss his pouty lips for this.

"Sure," Jin says easily, much to Namjoon's annoyance. He pats Namjoon's cheeks gently. "No breaking the glass, Joon-ah. We have a photoshoot tomorrow."

He pulls Jungkook out of the room before any of them can disagree further. He loops his arm around Jungkook's petite waist, nodding once to the man stationed at the door.

"You're not just getting drinks at you, aren't you?" Jin asks as they descend the steps.

"I don't know what you're talking about, hyung." Jungkook's smile is sharp. "I just don't wanna get roofied and end up on the tabloids tomorrow, is all."

"You don't have to lie to me," Jin says, kissing his hair. "I wanna see her, too."

Jungkook's smile turns sad at that.

"I just don't understand. [Name]-noona seems like a nice person. They're all being stupid."

Jin has to agree. "But you know why we have to, right? I don't like it, too, but we have no choice."

"But we do!" Jungkook insists. "We can be friends, even."

"Friends don't fuck friends." Jungkook snorts at that. "There's nothing 'friends' about wanting her with us, Jungkook."

"Friends don't fuck friends, my ass," Jungkook mumble mockingly. "That didn't stop Jackson-hyung at all."

Jin stops momentarily, pulling Jungkook to a stop. "Excuse me?"

"They were having sex last week, hyung. When Jackson-hyung came over last Wednesday."

"Was that why...?"

"Yeah." Jungkook takes his hand as they walk again. "I felt it through the strings, too."

Jungkook is suspiciously not meeting his eyes.

"Jungkook-ah."

"What?" he asks innocently. Jin's lips pull into a smirk.

"You naughty cat!"

"I—what? No!" but Jungkook is still not meeting his eyes. "I didn't watch them."

Jin gasps delightedly.

"This is so much better. I didn't even say anything yet!"

Ah, fuck.

In Jungkook's defense, he hadn't meant to listen in. But he had been on his way back to the practice room from relieving his screaming bladder when he heard it. The warmth and arousal that was definitely not his he had been ignoring since that lunchtime was not helping his curiosity.

"Ah!" And oh shit, it's someone moaning and it's you.

That explains the arousal he's been feeling. Oh, and the jealousy now (his), too.

"Yeah?" A deeper voice asked breathlessly. Another punched-out moan from you, and the arousal flares in his chest.

Yup. It's definitely his this time.

"Jackson, please," your equally breathless voice pleaded, and the sound shot to his cock. Jungkook had to stop his hand from going south inside his pants and boxers.

A delighted shriek and breathless laugh, followed by a staccato of 'ah ah ah's and hips slapping against each other punctuated the otherwise silent afternoon he was having.

And what would a self-respecting man do?

Stay and listen to you get railed six ways to Sunday, was what he did.

(jungkook didn't say he's a self-respecting man.)

Jungkook slipped his hand inside his pants and boxers and wrapped his hand around his aching cock. He almost moaned at how your moans quickly reached a whole other level of desperation. He wondered and tried to imagine how you would feel around him if he fucked you harder and deeper than Jackson possibly can.

He knows he can.

"Hands, Jackson." There was a chuckle, then your whine was heard. "Baobei, please."

Jungkook heard Jackson's sharp intake of breath, and he had to internally agree. Even speaking Mandarin, you sound so hot.

He heard you mewl with a choked giggle as the sounds of hips to hips got faster.

"You really like my hands, huh?" Jackson asked.

"Mhm. Want them wrapped around my—ah!—neck all the time."

Fuck.

Jungkook had to bite onto his hands as he came, so as not to give his position away, cock spurting on his hands,. Seconds later and he heard you cry out and Jackson grunt to completion.

So, no. He definitely didn't watch.

"You nasty, nasty boy!" Jin cackles at him and he wants to pout. "You listened in to them having sex?!"

"Hyung!" Jungkook hisses. "Not too loud."

Jin snickers at him, mouth pulled in a tempting smirk he wants to kiss. "Was it good?"

"Hyung," he whines. At Jin's unfaltering smirk, he sighs. "It was. She sounds so good, hyung. I can't take it off my mind."

"Maybe later, we can do something about that." Jin says with a low hum.

He peers at Jin's eyes and almost shudders at the dark and hungry look in them. Jin squeezes his waist, and it takes Jungkook's breath away.

In his silence, Jin nods with a hum.

"Hm, definitely later."

He won't say no to that. If they can't have you, Jungkook's gonna take what he can get, even if it means settling on replaying your moans in his head.

When they reach the bar, you are still sitting at the other end with Jackson. They are careful not to be seen by you or you'll probably leave like you always do when they get within your 10-foot vicinity.

Then Jackson puts his hand on your slightly exposed leg. He feels the others' jealousy through the bond first before he feels his own, and he sees you stiffen in your seat.

Hyungs!

Jungkook quickly looks away, but not before Jackson catches his gaze. He completely misses the way Jackson's mouth pulls into a quick smirk as their drinks are thankfully served at that exact moment.

"Wanna head back to your place?"

You're unexpectedly suddenly close, and it's like Jackson wants him and Jin to hear to rile them up. It works, and he can barely tamp down the urge to pour the drinks over Jackson's big head, being older be damned.

"Sure. I'll just swing by the restroom." You say as you walk away. Jin and Jungkook take that as their cue to go back to their ritzy room.

"That was short," Jin says tightly as they go back. "Was it you?"

Jungkook shakes his head.

Jin's lips quirk into an amused smile.

"Ah, jealous bastards."

"Weren't you too, though?" Jungkook asks with a slightly amused smile of his own. "That was... that was intense."

"That serves them," Jin says as they near the room. "If they weren't just pigheaded, it's my shoulders her legs are gonna be hanging from later."

"Jin-hyung!" Jungkoo huffs, but then deflates. "Yeah."

"Don't worry, we still have later," Jin says with a lascivious smirk.

And he can't complain about that, can he?

"Where's Tae-hyung?" he asks when they enter the room, Taehyung nowhere in sight.

"Went out. Didn't say where." Hoseok says as he accepts their drinks and puts the tray on the table. It takes a few seconds for him to piece it all together, and he mentally facepalms.

"Whatever happened to 'not giving a fuck' about [Name]?" he mumbles.

"Jungkook," Namjoon warns.

It sets him off.

"What? Are you all really going to keep on pretending? You do realize I felt that back there too, right?" he shoots back.

"So the drinks were just a ruse?" Namjoon's face is stormy.

Jungkook holds his gaze steady. "And what if it was? You all know what I felt about this since day one."

"Kook-ah." It's Jimin this time. "Not now, please."

"And when, hyung? When we go back to just pretending an eighth of our soul doesn't exist out there?"

"Jungkook."

He glares at Yoongi. "No, hyung. If you all want to be stupid, I don't! [Name]-noona is going through therapy because of this, don't you know?"

Yoongi scoffs. "She's a big girl, she can handle herself."

"Not soul-scraping therapy, she won't."

They all stop at that. Even Jungkook stops and internally curses.

Fuck, he wasn't supposed to say that.

"What did you say?" Namjoon's voice takes on a dangerous tone.

He huffs but stays silent, not really wanting to dig a deeper hole for himself.

"Jungkook."

"I talked to Jiho-hyung, okay? I bumped into him five months ago when he visited her."

Silence.

"Im Jiho?" At Jungkook's nod, Namjoon's frown deepened. "I didn't know he practices soul-scraping."

"He's co-authoring the soul-scraping study with Doctor Seong."

At the mention of one of their previous soul health doctors, Yoongi raises his eyebrows.

"Our Doctor Seong?"

Jungkook nods with a sigh, plopping down beside Hoseok. "Apparently, it's why he stopped private practice—to focus on the studies. They're also lobbying for fully legalizing soul-scraping in the Assembly. I ran into him, and he mentioned that he was there for noona's side effects from the therapy."

Side effects?

Shit.

"W-wait. Five months, you said?" Jin says with a tremble in his voice. "Is that why I can barely feel her anymore?"

Jungkook's sigh is pained, forlorn. "Apparently, yeah."

They all lapse in complete silence after that, the thumping of the beat on the dancefloor faint through the walls.

"Fuck."

Indeed.

It is then that Taehyung comes back. He takes one look at their varying degrees of solemn and stunned expressions and tilts his head.

"What? What happened?" he asks.

"[Name]..."

Taehyung's eyes widen before his expression smooths into indifference.

"I told you, I'm no—"

"That's not it," Jimin says softly. "She's in soul-scraping therapy, Taehyung-ah."

...

"What?"

(oh, lord. you don't know the turmoil you caused all these pining idiots, darling.)

---

And what about you?

As we said in the beginning, god must be testing your patience.

"Hey," Jackson says softly. He lifts your chin with a gentle smile long after Taehyung fucked off to god knows where. "You good, baobei?"

You didn't even know they were here. You were vaguely aware that yeah, they might be, but it totally slipped your mind. Meetings really did drain your brain.

When you stood up and went to the restroom while Jackson called for the driver, you didn't know that Taehyung was watching you from their room and completely high-tailed it from there just to intercept you when he saw you stand up from the corner of the bar. You didn't know why, but his stupid drunken ass just decided it wanted and it was a good idea to rile you up.

To piss you off is why, you think.

When you exited the ladies' room, Taehyung was standing there by the wall looking lethal. The ache in your chest flared up for two different reasons, but you ignored it. You ignored him and started walking away, pretending you didn't see him.

"So you're really here."

Seriously?

You continued ignoring him and walked on, but he didn't let you get far.

He grabs your wrist. "I said, you're really here."

The spot where he held you burned and you hissed, cursing the therapy's side effects. You were warned that coming in contact skin-to-skin with your soulmates while undergoing the therapy would feel painful (literally), but you didn't heed it then. You had no reason to touch them after all when they didn't even want to see you.

But it is painful, and it burns.

You yanked your wrist away, hiding your wrist behind your back. There's no need for that, though. Taehyung was looking at your face intently.

"Yes, and I was just leaving. See you around, T—"

"With Jackson?"

What's it with this guy?

You looked back at him and squared your shoulders up. "That's really none of your business, Taehyung."

He laughed with a sneer, shaking his head.

"What would people say if they knew you're off gallivanting with men who aren't your soulmate?"

Wow.

The nerve of this asshole.

You can't let him see it affect you though, so you tilt your head with an innocent smile.

"I'm just a nobody. Why would they talk about me? " You smirked in amusement. "I don't think it'll be me they will talk about since I wasn't the one who rejected my soulmate, was I?"

And oh, shit. Where did that come from, [Name]? Feisty.

"And I'm not doing anything illegal. Why should I be scared?" You slightly lean back and tilt your chin up. "I'm not the one between us with a reputation to uphold, a name I should protect."

You paused, a serene smile on your face.

"I'm not a coward. I'm not you, Taehyung"

The smirk on his lips was replaced with a sharp look of disdain, almost like he wants to slap the smile off your face.

(he wants to, darling. trust me. just not in the way you think.)

You knew you hit a nerve and it feels petty and mean, but it's nothing compared to the loneliness and pain they gave you these past few months. It felt satisfying, even if for just a bit.

"You really think you're all that, don't you?" He smiled almost mockingly. "Tell me, how does it feel to be rejected?"

That really stung and angered you, but you've spent all your life hiding your emotions when needed to. Your expression didn't falter.

"It feels good—"

"—because she dodged a bullet."

You internally sighed in relief as Jackson's voice float behind you. You'll forever be thankful for this man's existence, gods or not.

You melt in his arms when he wrapped them around your waist. You chanced a look at Jackson, not seeing the twitch on Taehyung's brows at your body language.

"You really think you're all that, don't you?" Jackson mocked back at him. "Imagine thinking it's the end of the world for your soulmate just because you shut down their bond." Jackson chuckled ruthlessly.

"You're pathetic, Taehyung-ssi."

The two were locked in a glowering match before Taehyung straightened up and spun on his heel without a word.

Jackson let you get your bearings by the wall of the hallway to the ladies' room in silence. But he didn't let you stew in your thoughts for long.

So now here you are, looking at his gentle eyes.

"You good, baobei?"

You don't know how to answer that really, so you pull him by the collar into a searing kiss.

He puts his hand on your waist, the other on the wall by your face, and you tighten your hold on his collar.

You pull away to gasp for air.

"Take me home," you exhale heavily as you lean your head on his shoulder. "Take me home and fuck me 'til I forget, or I might do something stupid."

Jackson's sharp intake of air is your answer before he pulls you away to your awaiting car outside the club.

---

feedback (constructive, please don't be too rude bc i'll cry) and kudos very much appreciated!

[bigskydreaming]

Headcanon that after he was resurrected in the Krakoan era, nobody ever told Pyro (St. John Allerdyce) that there'd been a second Pyro (Simon Lasker) going around using that name & identity while St. John was dead.

And when he first came back to life, St. John was usually out getting plastered every night. That part's definitely canon. Getting black out drunk for about the first month was part of his re-entry burn back into mortal flesh & blood society.

So when he hears people talking about that time Iceman hooked up with Pyro, he just kinda.....assumes....that oh shit, they hooked up during his 'reacclimation period' & he must have just gotten so drunk that night he completely forgot it ever happened.

And thus when he joins the Marauders alongside Bobby Drake, he spends the first several months being awkward & flustered & running the other way anytime he sees Bobby coming down the hall because he's like aw crap, we literally live on a BOAT together, in the middle of the ocean, with at most five other people at a time. St John is basically doing everything in his power to avoid being alone with Bobby because he's like.....ugh what if he tries to talk to me about That Night and I have to be like hey no offense but I literally don't remember when and where we even hooked up? He likes Bobby just fine and all, & its not that he doesn't get WHY he probably hooked up with him, the man spends most of the day running around in a Speedo, 24/7, 365 days a year, and he obviously works out.....its just.....he was a foe of the X-Men long enough to have heard all the horror stories about Bobby's disastrous love life and he laughed at way too many of them to want to ever find himself actually INCLUDED in one himself.

And it all comes to a head when Bobby finally confronts him about why the hell he's so nervous and weird around him, is this about that time Bobby dropped an ice boulder on him when Pyro was attacking the X-Mansion back when he was part of the Brotherhood and fighting the X-Men? Cuz I thought we were past that, Bobby says.

St. John: What? No, that was fine, I mean it wasn't FINE, obviously, that thing fucking HURT just so you know....

Bobby: Ugh seriously? It was like fifteen years ago, and I already said I was sorry....

St. John: Umm no you most certainly did NOT. I would have remembered.

Bobby: Oh. Huh. Well then I probably MEANT to say I was sorry, but didn't because its not like YOU ever apologized for trying to MELT me with your flamethrowers.

St. John: Well why the hell would I be sorry about that? I MEANT to do that. I was TRYING to kill you at the time, do you not recall?

Bobby: Of course I recall! But if you're not sorry then why should I have been sorry I at MOST gave you a MINOR concussion?

St. John: Because you're the GOOD guy, obviously! I was a supervillain at the time. I was SUPPOSED to do things like try and kill the good guys, the good guys weren't supposed to drop Mt. Fucking Everest directly on top of my head!

Bobby: Oh now you're just being ridiculous. It wasn't THAT big of a boulder and it GRAZED you at most.

St. John: Still. Its the principle.

Bobby: What principle?

St. John: How the bloody hell should I know? You're the superhero. Principles are supposed to be YOUR territory. I don't HAVE to have any. Or know what they are. Just that they exist and they're a large part of why you lot are so unbearably tedious half the time.

Bobby: Y'know what....no, whatever. Never mind. Letting it go. Okay so if you weren't upset about me GRAZING you with an ice boulder FIFTEEN years ago during a battle to the death in which you were trying to MURDER me -

St. John: This is you letting it go?

Bobby: I have a process. ANYWAY. So if that's not why you've been so weird around me, then what is your deal?

St. John: Ugh if you MUST know, I was worried you'd want to hook up again since we're stuck on a boat together in the middle of the ocean and bored out of our minds most of the time and I didn't want to get into how I don't think its a good idea to do it again.

Bobby: ...do what again?

St. John: You know. It. The sex. Making the beast with two backs. The....

Bobby: I get the references Flame-Brain, I'm saying what do you mean AGAIN as in when the fuck did we ever have sex in the first place?

St. John: How should I know??

Bobby: Because you're literally the only person here who seems to think we had sex!

St. John: Wait. Well what do you mean that we DIDN'T have sex?

Bobby: What do you mean what do I mean? I mean I've never had sex with you, as in, I have no idea why you're talking about us having sex as though its a thing that happened because it definitely is not a thing that has ever happened!

St. John: .....are you sure?

Bobby: Of course I'm sure! I think I'd remember if I had slept with a guy who spent most of my twenties trying to kill me!

St. John: Well you'd think, wouldn't you!? Except apparently not, since its not like I remembered either!

Bobby: You don't remember because it. Never. Happened! Why did you even think that it did?

St. John: Because everybody kept talking about that time we hooked up at the bar and they certainly seemed to know what they were talking about so I just assumed that they probably did and I just forgot. It happens!

Bobby: DOES IT, ALLERDYCE? DOES IT REALLY? ARE YOU SURE?

St. John: Well obviously I'm not sure NOW but its not like I was basing it on just one little instance of hearsay! Lots of people had lots to say about that time Iceman & Pyro hooked up at Colossus & Pryde's wedding before she left the bloke at the altar....

Bobby: Wait. You're telling me you thought people said YOU and I hooked up at Kate & Piotr's wedding? You do know you were DEAD at the time, right?

St. John: Huh. I was? Well how the hell was I supposed to know that?! I was dead!

Bobby: Oh, I don't know, the fact that you never fucking went to Kate and Piotr's wedding might have been your first clue?

St. John: Well obviously I didn't remember going to their wedding because why would I? I just figured I crashed it because that's what we Brotherhood boys DO whenever a couple of you lot get hitched. And we've crashed a LOT of your weddings and they all tend to blur together after awhile, and they're usually fairly dull to boot, so I just assumed at some point during the process I had a couple of bevvies to tide me over & one thing led to another & you & I snuck away and did the nasty!

Bobby: St. John. I promise you that even if you HAD crashed Kate & Piotr's wedding while alive, which you were NOT -

St. John: Bit rude of you to keep rubbing that in, just so you know. I died. We get it. Everyone's bloody caught up on that bit. Well done.

Bobby: If nothing else, I can assure you that had that happened, my reaction to you trying to ruin one of my best friend's literal wedding day just to score some kind of arbitrary point over the people you've tried to kill on multiple occasions -

St. John: This from the man who beat me over the head with Mt. St. Helens -

Bobby: IT BARELY EVEN COUNTED AS A BOULDER -

St. John: I don't think its your place to make that call, actually -

Bobby: IRREGARDLESS -

St. John: Not an actual word, you know. I thought you lived at a school for half your life? Didn't you use to be a teacher?

Bobby: I taught MATH, not English -

St. John: Well thank heavens for small favors I suppose -

Bobby: THE POINT IS EVEN IF YOU HAD BEEN THERE WHICH YOU WEREN'T BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T EVEN ALIVE AT THE TIME I PROMISE I WOULD NOT HAVE RUN OFF TO HAVE SEX WITH THE GUY I USUALLY ONLY SEE WHEN HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME JUST BECAUSE THAT TIME HE WAS 'ONLY' TRYING TO RUIN MY FRIEND'S WEDDING FOR FUNSIES INSTEAD.

St. John: Oh. Really? Not even if I said sorry before propositioning you? Its not normally something I do - apologize, not proposition people after a battle - but you do fill out those swim trunks of yours rather well and I suppose I probably would have figured it worth the effort if I was randy enough and felt saying sorry would be enough to get you into bed -

Bobby: Yeah, no. Really. Not even then.

St. John: Huh. Well that's a little disappointing to hear, I'm not going to lie. Apologies really aren't my thing, you know. I don't just go around handing them out all willy nilly. Takes some effort to apologize, even if its for a good reason.

Bobby: Like getting laid.

St. John: So you do get it.

Bobby: ....sure. Right. Well yeah, hate to break it to you then, but even a rare once in a lifetime apology from St. John Allerdyce wouldn't have been enough to get me to turn around and have sex with you five seconds after fending you off from my friend's wedding venue that you crashed in this bizarre hypothetical scenario that never remotely happened on account of your distinct lack of a presence on this mortal coil.

St. John: Hmm.

Bobby: And also on account of the fact that I have some basic self-respect.

St. John: Let's not get carried away here. You voluntarily fight giant genocidal robots in nothing but Speedos and galoshes.

Bobby: And yet there's still no version of that hypothetical scenario where you crashed Kate's wedding and then we had sex.

St. John: Huh. Well then. You don't say.

Bobby: Its one of those 'principles' we were talking about.

St. John: Another one? How many are there, anyway? Seems bloody inconvenient, how often those crop up even when you're just trying to have a good shag.

Bobby: Oh, absolutely. Bane of a superhero's existence, principles. Nothing worse than not being able to run off and have sex with a guy who tried setting you on fire before shifting gears to 'oopsie, my bad' instead, all because of a pesky little principle.

St. John: I'm just saying.

Bobby: So we're clear, right? You and I, never had sex, definitely not at Kate & Piotr's wedding?

St. John: Yes, yes, you've made it sufficiently clear that the likes of you would certainly never have deigned to dally with one of my ilk -

Bobby: Wait, why are you getting mad I wouldn't have wanted to have sex with you then when you've been the one avoiding me because you thought I wanted to hook up with you and you didn't want to hook up with me?

St. John: Well I just didn't want to hook up with you again -

Bobby: You mean for the first time -

St. John: REGARDLESS. I simply didn't want to hook up because I thought it would be AWKWARD, not because the very idea was intolerable to me, as it appears it is for YOU. Bloody elitist prick.

Bobby: Elitist?? What are you even - my OBJECTIONS are rooted in all the attempted MURDER between us over the years, not because I think you have COOTIES -

St. John: Ah hah! So you admit it! The attempted murder was a two-way street!

Bobby: That is NOT what I said -

St. John: Don't even try and deny it, the truth is out! Well, then. It certainly seems like I dodged a bullet by not sleeping with you no matter what the entire island seems to think -

Bobby: Literally WHO THINKS WE HAD SEX?

St. John: I DONT KNOW, ROBERT. ALL THE PEOPLE WHO KEPT TALKING ABOUT ICEMAN AND PYRO HOOKING UP AT PRYDE'S WEDDING, I SUPPOSE! WHAT'S NOT CLICKING HERE, YOU ABSOLUTE NINNY?

Bobby: Wait. WAIT. Hold the fuck up. You said people said YOU and I had sex at the wedding.

St. John: .....literally what part of that did I not just say?

Bobby: Did they say I had sex with YOU, St. John Allerdyce, or sex with PYRO?

St. John: What the bloody hell does that matter? I AM Pyro!

Bobby: Well duh, but its not like you're the ONLY Pyro!

St. John: Since when am I not the only Pyro?!

Bobby: Since you were dead! For a really long time! I hooked up with the OTHER Pyro at the wedding. Simon Lasker. Not YOU.

St. John: THERE'S SOMEONE ELSE RUNNING AROUND CALLING HIMSELF PYRO??!

Bobby: Did it seriously never occur to you that there might be? You both start fires. Pyro is the Latin word for fire. You didn't exactly bust out the thesaurus when picking your name, dude....

St. John: I am not about to be lectured on mutant naming conventions by the luminary who picked ICEMAN for his nom de plume....

Bobby: Don't get all pretentious with me just because you're feeling unoriginal all of a sudden....

St. John: All I know is there certainly weren't any other firestarters in the community calling themselves Pyro back when I was first making that name mean something!

Bobby: Well yes, sure, but once again....then you DIED. And shockingly, along came another fire-starter who just so happened to make use of a word that literally means FIRE, since its not like anyone else was using it THEN -

St. John: ITS THE PRINCIPLE OF THE MATTER, YOU ICEHOLE!

Bobby: Oh REAAAAL clever. Hard to believe your romance novels haven't cracked the bestseller list yet with wit like THAT at your disposal, Mister AUTEUR.

St. John: That barb might have landed a bit better if only it weren't actually a reference to film-making and NOT a literary author, you rank simpleton -

*two more hours of yelling at each other and another four of vigorous hate-sex later*

Bobby: Just so we're clear? This? Never happened.

St. John: Obviously.

[bluenpinkcastle]

LEGO and Gender Play Roles

(this is a VERY long post) I saw an article today on social media by Tips & Bricks about LEGO gendered play. The article focused on a little bit of research done by the LEGO Group about how girls and boys play. (Tips & Bricks was also kind enough to make sure to mention not everyone falls into those gender binary constructs but that the research done only includes those two groups). articles (there's a third article about LEGO and gender and play that's not on their website yet): https://www.tipsandbricks.co.uk/post/1960-discussion-lego-gender-1-marketing https://www.tipsandbricks.co.uk/post/1975-discussion-lego-gender-2-colours I have a LOT of thoughts about this topic. I'm going to start with some observations of my own, as a 40+ year old woman who has been building LEGO castles most of my life. I'm a member of several LEGO online social media groups. One of which is the Brick Knights Alliance. As of this post (03 October 2023), there 44.5k members within this group. I think it's pretty safe to say that most of the posts I see and most of the comments are men. Another group is the Ladies' LEGO Lounge, with 21.4k members. The last group is the Women's Brick Initiative Members with 907.

Somewhere in early May 2022, I heard rumors about the new LEGO castle supposed to be released in the summer of 2022. I remember being SO. EXCITED. about this. I instantly posted to the group, hoping that others would be just as excited to talk about the new castle. Instead, I found myself besieged by trolls. I can't find the post anymore which means either I deleted it so I wouldn't have to see people's horrible comments anymore or the admins deleted it as a "confrontational" post. But I keenly remember the disgust from some of the men over the LEGO Group bowing to "woke libtards" and how women couldn't be warriors, knights, or most definitely not queens. It was a really rough and unpleasant series of comments. On 18 June 2022, I posted about the first officially revealed pictures for set 10305: the Lion Knights' Castle, set to arrive on shelves 01 August 2022. My caption was simple and 416 people within the group liked or loved my post and seven people commented with their own versions of excitement. On 31 October 2022, I posted a picture of some of the knights I intended to populate with my Pink Castle Defense at BrickCon 2023. I used four of the bright light blue "Avatar" horses and put wings on them to be Pegasi. Most of the torsos for my warriors were the pink crown knights from the Collectible Minifigure series 24, but a few were other medium blue knights. 114 people liked or loved that post. One of the 14 comments said the blue pegasi were Avatar animals, not horses. And it's that kind of lack of imagination which just makes me sad most of the time. And now we're caught up with mostly present day. On 08 September 2023, I posted a picture of my Pink Castle Defense as it was displayed at BrickCon 2023 in Bellevue, Washington. The Pink Castle Defense is simply the Lion Knights' Castle made out of mostly dark pink LEGO with other bright colors. I posted this exact same picture in three different online social media places. My caption read: "BrickCon 2023 in Bellevue, Washington! It's been about eight months of ordering parts, digging for parts, and generally working to build this, but it was absolutely worth it! This is the LEGO 10305 Lion Knights' Castle built in dark pink on a butter yellow moat, with an all-women army defending the castle against the invading skeletons. This is my first ever LEGO display." The Brick Knights Alliance: 41 like/love/wow and two comments, which said: "Finally. No ugly gray. Where's Evilyn and Skeletor?" and "Are the skeletons male?" The Ladies LEGO Lounge: 50 like/love and 40 comments, all extremely supportive. As an example, the Lion Knights' Castle (10305) from August 2022 featured a warrior queen and half the minifigures had lipstick (clearing showing they are women). HALF of the knights and warriors in the castle are women! I was extremely excited about this. But then I witnessed a significant number of men in the castle groups complaining about this. Then I had to witness the castle's LEGO queen get murdered violently in most of the castle fandoms so that "A Proper Ruler" (read: male king) could reclaim his rightful throne. The latest Tips & Bricks gender discussion topic involved the different LEGO play for girls and boys. One of the comments even stated how there's so much research done on the way girls play but no one ever talks about how boys play, which tends to continue to put the responsibility on girls and women. In my own experience, I have noticed that most of the males in the LEGO spaces I occupy are constantly putting their castles at war with the other factions, while the women are definitely focused on the story and the details of world-building. But really. How much of the way genders play is caused by the very marketing which enforces the societal norms of how genders play?

[ashacadence]

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Ya more or less. Has its off days. Not perfect.

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

My mom

03: Do you regret anything?

Ya a few things

04: Are you insecure?

Hhhhhhhh ya

05: What is your relationship status?

Single. Not looking really.

06: How do you want to die?

Satisfied

07: What did you last eat?

Bacon Crunchwrap from tacobell

08: Played any sports?

Some horseback riding, tiny bit of basketball in elementary. Dance.

09: Do you bite your nails?

…yes

10: When was your last physical fight?

Fourth grade in the girls bathroom. I won.

11: Do you like someone?

Not right now

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

When I was a kid yes.

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Yes. Not gunna get into it.

14: Do you miss someone?

Ya. A few people like friends and a few fam members.

15: Have any pets?

Yep got a ten year old cat: Mr. C

A ball python: Takoda

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

Tired. Sluggish. Ready to go home.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Nope

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Not really. Just icked by them.

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Yes.

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

Never

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Hang out with fam. Father’s Day weekend and bro is visiting before he goes for further training.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

Nope.

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Nope.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

Art. Psychology. Animal Behavior Science. Sci-fi fantasy lit.

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

Ya a few people

26: What are you craving right now?

Jalapeño poppers. Cheesecake. Brownies.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Ya I think so.

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

No.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Yes.

30: What’s irritating you right now?

People who gaslight other people. Especially me.

31: Does somebody love you?

Of course. I know I’m loved.

32: What is your favourite color?

Blue

33: Do you have trust issues?

Yes.

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

Can’t remember.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

I think my family when we were watching a movie.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Yes sometimes. Depending upon the context. I believe people do deserve second chances.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

I think it’s easier to forgive.

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

Nope.

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

…no comment

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

No. Thankfully.

51: Favourite food?

Sushi

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Yes.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Besides washing my face and brushing my teeth? I was doodling Optimus prime as a human.

54: Is cheating ever okay?

Mmm it depends. In the context of relationships it varies.

55: Are you mean?

I can be if pushed. But sometimes if pushed too much I tend to bite hard.

56: How many people have you fist fought?

2.5, fourth grade I had some tiffs. The first was my big major fight. The rest being a confrontation and a shove or two. The last was me defending myself from a guy who slapped my ass in high school and I quickly grabbed his wrist and pinned him to a wall. So the .5 was hardly a fight but more of me giving the “you fucked around and found out.”

57: Do you believe in true love?

Ya sorta.

58: Favourite weather?

Sunny with partial clouds.

59: Do you like the snow?

it’s pretty but no

60: Do you wanna get married?

Ya some day.

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Mmmm no not really

62: What makes you happy?

Seeing I can be helpful or able to make someone else happy. Art. Movies or games I’m into. Sights. Animals. Swimming.

63: Would you change your name?

Long time ago yes but now meh not really.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

God not this question again.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

It’s happened. I politely and gently turned them down and just want to be friends. I’m just not in that headspace for relationships.

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Mmmm ya

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

My step dad. He sent me an Instagram link

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

I would say @takamatsu-kun I think. We have a looooot of convos so it feels right to say matsu. We get into some deep convos on occasion lmao

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

Mmmmm yes and no. Sorta.

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

Ya my fam or friends but I wouldn’t like seek it out or really count on a situation happening. Just that I’d defend and help best that I can.

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[pooma-bible]

Greetings in the matchless Name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

First John: DIVISION 02 - The Three Misconceptions of Man: Misconception 03: Man Can Become Righteous And Sinless on his Own!

Rhema Word: I John 2:1-2 (NKJV) “My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the whole world.”

Let us pray. Our Gracious Loving Father, thank You for giving us an opportunity to meditate Your Word today along with Your children who have been called to live a holy life, Father. I commit everyone who are all meditating this message into Your mighty hand Father. Bless them and give them the oneness of Spirit and make their heart as a good land to receive each Word which is living and active Father. Thank You Holy Spirit for helping us to understand the in-depth treasure of Your Word and helping us to live a life as per Your Word Lord. We give all the Glory and Honour to You only Father. We pray in the mighty Name of Your beloved Son Jesus Christ. Amen.

Introduction: To Whom Written:

To the church at large. Note there is no greeting farewell, or personal references that could reveal the recipients. This means a most wonderful thing: each local church can look upon First John as though the letter has been personally written to it. Tradition says that all three epistles were written from Ephesus where John pastored during the latter years of his life.

Purpose of this Letter:

Apostle John wrote to defend the faith and to strengthen the church against false teachers and heretical doctrine. John confronted the first stages of the same heretical teachings that Paul often confronted – the beginning stages of Gnosticism.

Special Features of Epistle First John:

(a) First John is “A General Epistle”. That is, it is not written to a specific church, but rather it is written to all Christian believers. It is “An Epistle Written From a Father to His Children.” It is written from the heart of a pastor who feels the tenderness of a father for his children.

(b) It is “An Epistle Combating False Teachers and Doctrinal Error”.

(c) It is “An Epistle of Christian Certainty or Assurance”. The phrase “we know” is used seventeen times to give assurance to the believer. The epistle assures the believer time and again that God has sent His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, into the world to save man (the incarnation). In addition, John assures the believer of eternal life. In contrast, the Gospel of John was written to stir faith “that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God…” (John 20:31).

(d) It is “An Epistle of Tests”. It was written to give the believer test after test by which he could prove whether he knows God. The tests also strengthen the believer’s faith and love for God.

(e) It is “A Personal and a Spiritual Epistle”. It is not written so much from a doctrinal point of view, although it is filled with doctrinal teaching. Its emphasis is personal righteousness, purity, love, and a knowledge and loyalty to Jesus Christ, the Son of God Himself.

(f) It is “An Epistle that Stresses Love” (1 John 2:7-11; 3:1-3; 3:11-17; 23; 4:7-21).

(g) It is “An Epistle that Stresses that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the Messiah, the Anointed One of God” (1 John 1:7; 2:1,22; 3:8; 4:9-10, 14-15; 5:1,5,9-13,18,20).

(h) It is “An Epistle that Stresses that Jesus Christ Did Come As a Man” (1 John 1:1-3,5,8; 4:2-3. 9-10, 14; 5:6,8,20).

(i) It is “An Epistle that Stresses that Jesus Christ is the Saviour: He Did Die for Man’s Sins” (1 John 1:7; 2:1-2; 3:5,8,16; 4:9-10, 14).

(j) It is “An Epistle that Stresses the Spirit Living Within the Believer” (1 John 2:20, 27; 3:24; 4:13, 15-16; 5:12).

(k) It is “An Epistle that Stresses the Need for Separation From the World” (1 John 2:15-17; 3:1,3,13, 4:3-5; 5:4, 19).

(l) It is “An Epistle that Stresses Righteousness and Obedience to God’s Commandments” (I John 2:3-8, 29; 3:3-15, 22-24; 4:20-21; 5:2-4, 17-19, 21).

We have been meditating First John on the following five topics since last two weeks:

First John: DIVISION 01: The Great Testimony of John: The Son of God Has Come to Earth:

First John: DIVISION 02: The Three Misconceptions of Man:

First John: DIVISION 03: The Proof That One Really Knows God: Seven Tests:

First John: DIVISION 04: The Proof That One Really Loves God: Six Tests:

First John: DIVISION 05: The Proof That One Really Believes in God: Four Tests:

The Son of God has come to earth. This is the greatest testimony of John the Apostle. He came to earth so that man can have fellowship with God and with His Son Jesus Christ.

But wait, “man shouts”. “We already have fellowship with God. We already worship God and feel safe and acceptable in our religion. We do not need someone else to show us how to become acceptable to God. We can reach God on our own; we can secure His approval by ourselves. We don’t need someone else telling us how to approach God and how we should worship God and secure His approval.

This is the great subject of this section 1 John 1:6 to 2:2. Man objects to the idea that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, that He is truly God’s very own Son. Man, objects to the idea…

=> that the way he worships is wrong;

=> that he has no merit with God; and

=> that he is unacceptable to God.

This is the reason many reject John’s declaration: “The Son of God has come to earth”. Jesus Christ came so that man can have true fellowship with God. But man, objects to the idea that he needs help in reaching God. He feels sufficient within himself. He objects to the idea that he cannot reach God in his own. This passage strikes at these objections and exposes their fallacies. There are basically three misconceptions of man:

Misconception 01: Man Can Fellowship with God and Still Walk in Sin!

Misconception 02: Man Is Not Totally Sinful and Depraved!

Misconception 03: Man Can Become Righteous And Sinless on his Own!

The greatest testimony has been borne; the great proclamation has been made. John the apostle has declared: “the Son of God has come to earth. He has come to earth to reveal who God is and what God is like and how God wants us to live. In addition to this, He has come to die for us and to cleanse us from our sin.

But note: man, objects to the idea that Jesus Christ had to die for our sins. Man shouts at the idea:

We are not that sinful, so sinful that we cannot handle the problem of sin ourselves. We can change our behaviour and act responsibly. Man has the capacity to reform himself, to discipline and control his own life. Man could live a responsible life: he can resolve to change and live a decent, moral, and responsible life. Man has the power to please God himself. Man can do good and be good enough to make himself acceptable to God. Man is not so terrible a sinner, not down deep within. Man can become a moral and righteous person on his own. All he needs is:

=> to be educated to understand himself and his world;

=> to have a set of moral values and religious worship to encourage him in his values;

=> to use his technology and science for moral and just causes.

The point is this: man rejects the idea that he needs someone to die for his sins, that he cannot become acceptable to God on his own. Man, objects to the idea that the perfect and sinless Son of God had to come to earth to die for his sins. Man, objects because it means that man is….

=> sinful and depraved;

=> so sinful and depraved that he is totally unacceptable to God;

=> so sinful and depraved that no matter what he does, he cannot secure God’s approval;

=> so sinful and depraved that he can never fellowship with God, that all his prayers, worship, and thoughts about God are vain and empty.

This is the reason many persons object to Jesus Christ. This is the reason many accept Him as a great religious teacher but reject His claim to be the Son of God and the Saviour of the world. They are unwilling to accept the fact that man is depraved, totally sinful. This is the great subject of this passage, the second major misconception of man about the deity Jesus Christ, about the Son of God coming to earth: man is not totally sinful and depraved.

Despite all the sin in the world – all the sin that swirls around and engulfs human lives and society – some persons say that they can become righteous on their own. They say they can become so righteous that God will approve their behaviour – that God will accept them because of their own righteousness and sinlessness. They say they do not need a Saviour; they are able to save themselves. They say that Son of God does not need to die for the sins of man because man can become righteous and sinless enough on his own, righteous, and sinless enough to become acceptable to God.

This is the subject of the present passage. There are those who object to the idea that Jesus Christ had to die for the sins of man. They object to the preaching of sin, the idea that they are sinners, to the idea that they need the blood of God’s Son to cleanse their sins. They object and declare that man can become righteous and sinless on His own.

We have meditated the First two Misconceptions in last two weeks. Let us try to understand the Third Part “First John: DIVISION 02: The Three Misconceptions of Man: Misconception 03: Man Can Become Righteous And Sinless on his Own!”, on the following, with the help of our Holy Spirit, today.

(01) We Can Become Righteous & Sinless on Our Own:

(02) The Truth: We Are Sinful, But We Should Not Sin!:

(03) The Truth: We Are Sinful, But We Should Not Sin!:

(01) We Can Become Righteous & Sinless on Our Own:

The Bible says in 1 John 1:10 “If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.”

The misconception is forcefully stated – “we have not sinned”. How could any person conceivably claim this? Who would claim such a thing considering all the sin that swirls man and society? Many people! There are many people who object to being called sinners, and they are insistent in their objection. They believe they are righteous and sinless enough that God would never reject them. They believe they can become good enough and sinless and righteous enough for God to accept them. They accept Jesus Christ as a great moral teacher and as the founder of Christianity, one of the great religions of the world. And they claim to be Christians, they follow the teachings of Jesus Christ. But they reject His deity, the fact that He is the Son of God who had to die for the sins of the world. They look upon the death of Jesus Christ as the death of a martyr, as a great man who was showing us how we should be willing to pay any price for what we believe – even death.

Who would make such a claim? Who would say “we have not sinned?” Who is it that objects to being called a sinner?

=> There is the religious perfectionist. This is a person who believes that he can achieve a state of sinlessness. Often, he believes in Christ, but he believes that once he is saved, he can live so righteous and so pure a life that he can achieve a state of sinlessness and righteousness before God. He believes that Holy Spirit will help to walk perfectly before God.

=> There is the social perfectionist. This is a person who is a social Christian, who accepts Jesus Christ as a great teacher but rejects Him as the Saviour from sin. He objects to being called a sinner; he objects to the fact that he is sinful enough that he can be termed a sinner. He believes that he is righteous and sinless enough for God to accept, that God would never reject them. He believes he is too good for God to reject. He cannot accept the fact that he is bad enough and sinful enough for God to condemn him.

Note what the problem is with these two objectors. They just do not have a clear view of what sin is. To them sin is the gross violation of law and morality, the thing that society looks upon as gross sins: murder, fraud, and abuse – the kinds of things that would grab a neighbour’s attention and cause talk. They fail to see what sin is to God. God is perfect; therefore, to God:

=> Sin is any imperfection;

=> Sin is falling short of God’s glory;

=> Sin is missing the mark of God’s perfection.

This is the reason no person can ever live with God. God is perfect; therefore, only perfection can live in His presence. Man is imperfect and short of God’s glory; he is sinful. Therefore, man can never live in God’s presence. This is what the objector needs to see. To God man is a sinner, a person who is ever so short of God’s glory, a person…

=> who fails to use his mind to the fullest degree and who focuses it upon evil;

=> who sometimes thinks impure and wrong thoughts and who commits impurity;

=> who sometimes acts unlovely and mean to people;

=> who sometimes acts impatiently and abuses others;

=> who sometimes acts selfishly and steals;

=> who sometimes owns too much and banks and hoards instead of living sacrificially to meet the desperate needs of the world.

All men are short in so much – short in worshipping God like they should, short in praying and fellowshipping and communing with God. No person obeys God perfectly all the time. All men come short of loving others like they should, short in witnessing and sharing Christ and in sacrificing and reaching out to help everywhere they should. No person is perfect; all are ever so short and sinful, so sinful that to God we are all sinners. We are sinners who need a Saviour, the very Son of God Himself, to save us from our sins. Now, note what the verse says in 1 John 1:10 “If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.”

God’s Word plainly tells us that we are sinners, and it tells often. If we, therefore, deny sin, we make God out to be a liar. In addition, we show that God’s Word is not in us; that is, we are not acceptable to God. No matter what we may claim, we are not acceptable to God….

=> if God’s Word is not in us;

=> if we call God a liar;

=> if we say we do not need God’s Son to save us from our sin;

=> if we say we can become good enough and righteous enough and sinless enough to be acceptable to God.

Apostle Paul says in Romans 3:23; Titus 3:3 “ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” … “For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another.”

Apostle James says in James 4:17 “Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.”

Apostle John says in 1 John 1:8; 5:19 “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” … “We know that we are of God, and the whole world lies under the sway of the wicked one.”

The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 7:20; Genesis 6:5; Psalms 53:3; Proverbs 20:9 “For there is not a just man on earth who does good and does not sin.” … “Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” … “Every one of them has turned aside; They have together become corrupt; There is none who does good, no, not one.” … “Who can say, “I have made my heart clean, I am pure from my sin”?

The Bible says in Isaiah 53:6; 64:6 “All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, everyone, to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.” … “But we are all like an unclean thing, And all our righteousness is like filthy rags; We all fade as a leaf, And our iniquities, like the wind, Have taken us away.”

(02) The Truth: We Are Sinful, But We Should Not Sin!:

The Bible says in 1 John 2:1 “My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.”

The truth is that we are sinful, but we should not sin. This is a tender exhortation: John addresses the believers “my dear children”. They are very, very dear to him. He was their pastor, their spiritual father; and they were his spiritual children, the ones under his care. He loved them with the love of a strong and caring father. Therefore, he must exhort them. He must exhort them in the areas where they needed strength. Where was that ? In sinning. Note exactly what John says in 1 John 2:1 “My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.”

”I write this” refers to the things John has just said to the fact all have sinned and all commit sin. Because of man’s nature, the very fact that he lives within a corruptible world, he cannot keep from sinning. But note the strong exhortation: “ I write to you, so that you may not sin.” The believer lives in a corruptible world, and he is housed in a body of flesh that is so easily aroused and attracted to eat more, take more, have more, be more, and receive more. But the believer is to struggle and fight against sin. He is not to give in to sin. He is to cast down imaginations, demolish arguments and struggle to captivate every thought for Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). He is to do all he can to become more and more like Christ and to be a stronger and stronger witness for righteousness in the world. He will never achieve perfection; he will never be sinless so long as he is in the flesh and in this corruptible world. But he is to struggle to be as good as he can. He is to be as righteous as possible, and he is to gain ground; he is to grow in righteousness. The believer is to become more and more like Christ if he is on earth.

Lesson: Believers must prove they are sincere when they come to Christ for forgiveness of sins. Christ has no patience with hypocrisy and no place for half-hearted commitment. He can look at our lives and tell whether we love Him or not whether we are sincere or not. He can watch our struggle against sin and tell if we really want to follow Him or not. The genuine believer struggles against sin; he fights, wrestles, and wars against sin with every ounce of energy he has. He does all he can to please God and to receive God’s approval.

Our Lord Jesus Christ said in John 5:14; 8:11 “Afterward Jesus found him in the temple, and said to him, “See, you have been made well. Sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon you.” … “She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”

Apostle Paul says in Romans 6:12; 1 Corinthians 15:34; Ephesians 4:22 “ Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts.” … “Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame.” … “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”

The Bible says in Isaiah 1:16; 55:7; Hebrews 12:1 “Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; Put away the evil of your doings from before My eyes. Cease to do evil.” … “Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; Let him return to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.” … “Therefore, we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”

Apostle Paul says in 1 Peter 2:11 “Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul.”

Apostle John says in 1 John 2:1 “My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.”

(03) The Truth: We Are Sinful, But We Should Not Sin!:

The Bible says in 1 John 2:1-2 “My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the whole world.”

There is the great provision. The believer is not to sin, but if he sins, he has the most wonderful provision – that is Jesus Christ, the Son of God Himself. Two things are said about Jesus Christ that show the wonderful provision God has mad for us:

(i) Our Lord Jesus Christ is our “Advocate”, the one who speaks to the father in our defence (parakleton). The word “advocate” or “defender” means someone who is called in to stand by the side of another. The purpose is to help in any way possible:

=> There is the picture of a friend called in to help a person who is troubled or distressed or confused.

=> There is the picture of a commander called in to help a discouraged and dispirited army.

=> There is the picture of a lawyer, an advocate called in to help a defendant who needs his case pleaded.

There is no one word that can adequately translate “paracletos”. The word that probably comes closest is simply “helper”. Sin causes the believer to be distressed and confused, discouraged, and dispirited. Sin separates the believer from God and makes him guilty of transgression and worthy of condemnation and punishment. But Jesus Christ is the believer’s Advocate. Jesus Christ stands before God and pleads the case of the believer. Note two significant facts:

(a) What is that gives Jesus Christ the right to plead the case of the believer? Note exactly what the verse says: Jesus Christ is the righteous One. He is the Son of God who came to earth and lived a sinless life as man. He is the One who secured the perfect and ideal righteousness for man. Therefore, Jesus Christ is the only Person who has the right to stand before God. Why? Because God is perfect, and only a perfect person can stand in God’s presence. This is the reason man must approach God through Jesus Christ: He alone is perfect and righteous. He alone has the right to stand in the court of God as the Advocate or attorney to represent man. There is no other righteousness, no other goodness that is acceptable to God; only the perfect and ideal righteousness of Christ has been approved to stand as the advocate in the court of heaven.

This means a most wonderful thing. God will never turn down a person who has Jesus Christ as his advocate. The person who has Jesus Christ to approach God for him will never be turned down, for Jesus Christ has the right to stand as the advocate before God in the court of heaven.

(b) What is it that Jesus Christ pleads?

=> He does not plead the reputation of the believer.

=> He does not plead the good works of the believer.

=> He does not plead that the believer is not guilty, that the believer did not commit sin.

=> He does not plead the personal righteousness of the believer.

=> He does not plead that the believer has been as good as he can be.

Then, what is that Jesus Christ pleads? Again, note the verse 1 John 2:1 “We have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.”

He pleads His own righteousness. How can He do this? This is the discussion of the next point.

Apostle Paul says in Romans 8:34 “Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us.”

The Bible says in Hebrews 2:17; 4:14-15; 7:25-26; 8:1; 9:24 “Therefore, in all things He had to be made like His brethren, that He might be a merciful and faithful High Priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people.” … “Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.” … “Therefore, He is also able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them. For such a High Priest was fitting for us, who is holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners, and has become higher than the heavens.” … “Now this is the main point of the things we are saying: We have such a High Priest, who is seated at the right hand of the throne of the Majesty in the heavens.” … “For Christ has not entered the holy places made with hands, which are copies of the true, but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God for us.”

(ii) Jesus Christ is the propitiation, the atoning sacrifice for our sins. “Atoning sacrifice” (hilasmos) means to be a sacrifice, a covering, a satisfaction, a payment, an appeasement for sin. It means to turn away anger or to make reconciliation between God and man. Remember: God is holy and just. He is perfect love, but He is also perfect holiness and justice. Therefore, He must execute justice against the sinner. He must judge and condemn sin. His justice must be perfectly satisfied. Now there is only one way God’s justice can be perfectly satisfied: His justice must be cast against the perfect sacrifice. If there was a Perfect and Ideal Man, then that Man could accept the guilt and punishment for sin. The Perfect Man could step forward and bear the punishment for sin and satisfy the justice of God.

This is the glorious gospel, the wonderful love and provision of God. Jesus Christ is the Ideal and Perfect Man. Therefore, He sacrificed His life for man and His sacrifice covered all men. As the Ideal Man, Jesus Christ accepted the guilt and punishment of sin for all men. He died for all men. When He died, He died as the perfect sacrifice for sins. Therefore, God accepts His death….

=> as the sacrifice for our sins;

=> as the covering for our sins;

=> as the satisfaction for our sins;

=> as the payment for our sins;

=> as the appeasement for His wrath against sin.

When Jesus Christ carries a man’s case before God, He pleads His own righteousness and death, and God accepts His righteousness and death for man. It is by this, by the sacrifice of His death for our sins, that we become acceptable to God.

Note one other point: Jesus Christ is the propitiation, the atoning sacrifice for the sins of the whole world. He is the eternal Son of God, the Ideal and Perfect Man. Therefore, all that He ever did covers eternity. His sacrifice for sin covers the first man ever born and spans all of time over to the last man, and then continues right on throughout all eternity. Jesus Christ paid the penalty of sin for all sinners of all generations. He died for the sins of all people, no matter who they are or what they have done.

But note a critical fact: a person must come to Jesus Christ and trust Him to be his advocate before God. Jesus Christ is the only Person who has the right to stand as an advocate in the court of Gop’s perfect justice. He is the only Person who can present man’s case before God and have man declared righteous. Therefore, a person is not covered by the advocacy of Christ unless he comes to Christ and has Christ represent him before God.

It is true that God told Israel to offer sacrifices. But He did it for a reason: to teach Israel, and through them the world, that the answer does not lie in human or animal sacrifice. A human sacrifice cannot bring about a right relationship with God. Man’s problem is too deep for human sacrifice; his contamination too severe; his disease too terrible; his infection too deadly. The paraphernalia of earthly sacrifice can never put things right with God.

The reason is simply stated. Man’s sin has cut him off from God, severed his relationship with God, put God out of arm’s reach. Man, instinctively senses this. Thus, when man fails to get satisfaction from his sacrifice, he often returns to his former behaviour and practices.

What man needs to be disinfected, to have his sins covered. He needs to know beyond a doubt that God does accept him and is satisfied with him. And then he needs a power to live for God.

This comes about through propitiation. Four things need to be said about propitiation:

(a) God is the One who must be appeased, satisfied, and propitiated. The Bible is not speaking of reconciliation. The Bible never says that God must be reconciled to man. God is already the friend of man; He loves man. It is man who needs to be reconciled to God. Man is the one who holds enmity, who ignores, neglects, and rejects God. Thus, God is the One who must be appeased or propitiated (Luke 18:13).

There is another thought here as well. God is righteous and holy, and His righteousness and holiness must be satisfied. He can only accept a person who is perfectly righteous and holy. It might be said that anything less than perfection would contaminate the very atmosphere around God. And the presence and dwelling place of God would no longer be the utopia which God has prepared for the believer and for which man dreams.

(b) Jesus Christ is the propitiation, the atoning sacrifice, the satisfaction for sins. Christ was completely righteous and holy, therefore, He was the perfect and ideal Man. This means that His death was the perfect and ideal sacrifice. God was able to satisfy His justice against sins by casting it against Christ. The perfect sacrifice of Jesus Christ completely satisfied and appeased the righteousness of God (1 John 4:9-10).

(c) Propitiation means coverage. Christ covers our sins so that God no longer can see them (Romans 3:25; Hebrews 2:17; 1 John 2:2).

(d) Propitiation finds its type in the mercy seat, that is, in the lid of the ark (Hebrews 9:5). God had said that man was to approach Him through the sacrifice of an animal, through the shedding of blood. The lid or covering of the ark was sprinkled once a year with the blood of a perfect animal. This signified that the life of the people was being offered to God in the blood of the victim. God was thereby appeased and satisfied (Romans 3:25; Hebrews 2:17; 1 John 2:2; 4:10).

The Bible says in Hebrews 2:17; Luke 18:13 “Therefore, in all things He had to be made like His brethren, that He might be a merciful and faithful High Priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people.” … “And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’”

Apostle John says in 1 John 2:1-2 “My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the whole world.”

Let us introspect ourselves.

Shall we thank our God for exposing people who boast themselves that they can become righteous and sinless on their own by being religious perfectionists and social perfectionists?

Shall we thank our God for telling plainly that we are sinners and if we deny this fact then we are making Him a liar besides showing that God’s Word is not in us?

Shall we thank our God for giving us His beloved Son Jesus Christ as an Advocate who pleads for us when we commit sins?

Shall we seek our God’s help for being sincere when we come to His Son Jesus Christ for forgiveness of our sins?

Shall we thank our God for making it clear that we should not sin?

Shall we thank our God for giving us a provision, that is His own beloved Son Jesus Christ, if we sin, as He is the only ONE who secured the perfect and ideal righteousness for man?

Shall we thank our God for making it very clear that His beloved Son Jesus Christ pleads His own righteousness as He is the propitiation, the atoning sacrifice for our sins?

Let us Pray: Our Heavenly Gracious Father, we thank You for helping us to understand about “First John: DIVISION 02 - The Three Misconceptions of Man: Misconception 02: Man Can Become Righteous And Sinless on his Own”, today, Father. We thank You Father for exposing people who boast themselves that they can become righteous and sinless on their own by being religious perfectionists and social perfectionists, for telling plainly that we are sinners and if we deny this fact then we are making YOU a liar besides showing that Your Word is not in us, Father. We thank You for giving us Your beloved Son Jesus Christ as an Advocate who pleads for us when we commit sins, Father. We seek Your help for being sincere when we come to Your Son Jesus Christ for forgiveness of our sins, Father. We thank You Father for making it clear that we should not sin, for giving us a provision, that is Your own beloved Son Jesus Christ, if we sin, as He is the only ONE who secured the perfect and ideal righteousness for man, Father. We thank You Father for making it very clear that Your beloved Son Jesus Christ pleads His own righteousness as He is the propitiation, the atoning sacrifice for our sins, Father. We thank You Father for filling us with Your joy, peace, and hope, for accepting us when we approach You through Your beloved Son Jesus Christ besides being merciful on us and loving us so much and predestined us to receive Your promise of glory through Your beloved Son Jesus Christ, Father. We give all praise, glory, and honour to Your Holy Name. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

God bless you all.

[morgana-pendragon]

dude, I'm in no way interested in supergirl but i wanna know about supercorp. Who is the other woman? Why do people ship them? What's their dynamic? What's their story? I'm hella curious. Also i feel the angst from your reblogs to my dashboard 😂

okay. buckle up.

i’m not 100% sure who you mean by ‘other woman’, so i’ll give you a quick run-down on both

kara zor-el:

aka kara danvers, she was 13 when krypton exploded, sent to earth to protect her baby cousin, kal-el. he made it to earth safely and was raised by the kents, became superman. kara’s pod was knocked off-course and sent to the Phantom Zone, a place that is vast nothingness where time does not pass. she was there for 24 years before making it to earth, still aged 13, while kal-el had grown up. he was unable/unwilling to take care of her, and left her with eliza, jeremiah and alex danvers, who raised her. she worked as cat grant’s assistant in season 1, promoted to journalist at catco media in season 2.

lena luthor:

younger sister of lex luthor, daughter and step-daughter of lionel and lillian luthor, respectively. her biological mother drowned when she was 4, prompting her father to take charge of her. she wants to make a name for herself aside from her family’s rather bad one, notoriously known for being alien haters. but most people treat her unfairly, given all of her positive intentions and accomplishments. ceo of l-corp, formerly luthor-corp, she works to further the wellbeing of humanity.

why people ship them:

lena made an observation the day after she met kara, saying she thought kara was a journalist; kara, having been ruminating on a career, immediately decided to take up journalism.

after kara wrote a positive article on her, lena filled kara’s office with flowers — “overflowing” it.

after making a difficult decision to save supergirl’s life that resulted in the death of her ex, lena confessed to kara that she was having negative feelings that she feared; kara wrapped her arms around her and promised to always be there for her and never leave her.

weeks after meeting her, lena gave orders to her assistant that kara was to be let into her office “right away, whenever possible”.

when confronted with a detective who wanted to (and did) arrest her, lena asked for kara to stay with her; kara, as supergirl, never once doubted lena’s innocence and worked tirelessly to prove it (and did!).

after cat grant, ceo of catco, steps down and decides to sell it, lena purchases it, otherwise kara would’ve lost her job (though the reason she gave was pissing off a mutual annoyance of theirs); after their falling out, lena sells catco to an old friend of hers.

after morgan edge tries to kill lena by crashing a plane that she is on (in the process of saving her, supergirl refuses to let lena’s hand go), she abandons him on a shipping container in the middle of the ocean.

morgan edge also tried to kill lena by poisoning her coffee; kara risks her identity by flying lena to the deo (department of extra-normal operations) dressed as kara danvers, not supergirl.

supergirl gives lena a watch with a button on it that, when pressed, emits a sound at a frequency that only kryptonians can hear. these watches are usually reserved for family members and close friends of the supers.

whenever supergirl saves lena, she holds her in a bridal carry, with lena’s arms wrapped around her neck, a parallel of kal-el/superman and his wife, lois lane.

(this isn’t really a reason but lois and lena share many similarities, the most apparent of which [to me anyway] is that they are both brunettes with the initials LL)

parallel gifset by @lena-luthor of various romantic pairings in the arrowverse, one person bringing the other a bag of big belly burger: oliver queen/felicity smoak — arrow; barry allen/iris west-allen — the flash; querl dox/nia nal — supergirl; alex danvers/kelly olsen — supergirl (for further proof, the first two couples are married with children) | the last gif is kara & lena. (also this one with some more moments that just tie it all together much better than i ever could)

hugs hugs hugs (courtesy of @drunklenaluthor)

they constantly refer to each other as their ‘favourite’.

lena invents things that save supergirl’s life, including an attachment to her suit that rids her body of kryptonite and protects her against it.

lena is frequently invited to danvers family holiday dinners and game nights.

some direct canon quotes for your perusal: “well, supergirl may have saved me, but kara danvers, you are my hero.”; “i know that you believe that everything is good, and kind, and that is one of the things i love about you.”; “you’d trust me?” “whatever else has happened, i know what’s in your heart.”; “if you want to get to supergirl, you’re gonna have to go through me.”

honourable mention: pretty ladies 🥴

their dynamic & their story:

their relationship starts tentatively, but blossoms quickly despite lena’s family and kara’s friends scepticism about lena’s intentions.

they have regular lunch dates, text each other (heart emojis included), can be seen hugging and swaying in place. they comfort each other, are fiercely protective of one another, not unlike a couple.

after kara’s identity is revealed to lena by her brother in the season 4 finale, their relationship deteriorates in the stereotypical way a romantic one does; they’re both incredibly sad, stare longingly at photos of them together, pull away from one another, lash out.

an alien called mxyzptlk gives kara the chance to go back in time and view alternate realities in which she had told lena her secret at various other points in time, which she took him up on almost immediately.

after an ultimatum and an agonizingly long period of time, lena apologises to kara in the penultimate episode of season five and they start to rebuild their relationship.

in the season five finale, lena puts herself in front of a kryptonite dagger aimed at an immobile and unaware supergirl, offering her life for kara’s.

in the season six premiere, as kara prepares to sacrifice herself at the hands of lex luthor, lena refuses to let her, even going so far as to anticipate her brother’s actions, programming the Lena Luthor Protocol into the Fortress of Solitude, a robot with a yellow sun emulator that attaches itself to the crest of the house of el that sits upon kara’s chest. 

lena was the last person kara said goodbye to before she fought with lex, a fight she did not believe she would survive.

after kara is sent to the phantom zone by lex, lena implores alex to tell her girlfriend, kelly, about kara’s secret identity, in the process implying that kara is her person, the same way that kelly is alex’s. (— @lesbianlenas)

um anyway they’re soulmates thank you for coming to my ted talk :)

[agape-bakery]

ah, may i please request the brothers with an MC who was summoned without their glasses, but just? didnt say anything?? and after an absurd amount of time (like a month or two) they're just like "oh, yeah i need glasses i cant rlly see anything lmao"

with a GN or male mc please :)

thank you, have a wonderful day! -🐱

Me in about 3 years- This was pretty difficult to do so it took me so long to finish and it still ended up shorter than I wanted it to be, so sorry about that anon!

Would like to give a small reminder that this is not how the brothers would react canonically, especially for Belphie's scenario!

The Brothers with an MC who needs glasses

Lucifer

He thought you were making a poor attempt to be intimidating in the beginning by how hard you were squinting whenever you look around

He then thought that you needed glasses but by the way you didn't say anything, he assumed that was not the case

During the month, Lucifer is CONVINCED that you needed glasses

He's the Avatar of Pride but he's not that prideful about glasses....kind of-

After weeks of watching you rub your eyes and squint, he finally decided to ask if you needed glasses

Your eyes light up and you quickly nod and then go, "I actually forgot to told you I need glasses lol-"

....

WHAT

Lucifer would stare down at you with the most wide-eyed confused look he has ever given someone in his whole life

"MC, what do you mean you forgot?"

"I just forgot!"

Lucifer would take a long sigh before shaking his head, while he's exasperated, it's better late than never

Even if he acts annoyed, he'd still buy you some glasses as a gift

He now has more reasons to believe his gut, especially when it comes to you

Mammon

He most likely wears those sunglasses not because he thought it was cool but because his eyes are blurry from staring at his phone all the time-

As he was a demon, he didn't need to use it all the time

But when he saw you squinting, he was already in front of you with his hand up, smirking like he didn't experience the same thing in the past

"I saw you squinting, MC, how many fingers am I holding up?"

"Haha, real funny."

You completely forgot to tell him that you actually did need glasses and moved on with your day

The longer you did that, the more Mammon grew concerned, is this a habit??? Are you fucking with him just because he asked you how many fingers he was holding up??

When he finally confronted you after psyching himself in front of his mirror:

"MC, do you really need glasses??"

"Oh yeah, I was supposed to tell you that a month ago but I forgot."

"WHO FORGETS ABOUT NEEDING GLASSES? IT'S LITERALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU-"

Don't worry, if you mention wanting the same glasses as his but with your prescription, Mammon would leave it aside to look for a matching pair-

Leviathan

This guy NEEDS the high prescription glasses with blue light filter 24/7

He stares at the screen all day, tell me he doesn't need it-

Anyway, he might have noticed that you need one in the beginning but didn't think too much of it and left it alone

He found out while he was playing a game with you and you weren't doing too good unless you lean closer/back

He doesn't mind carrying but while his eyes were focused on the screen, he asked if you were alright

You were his lover, after all, he didn't want you to get a headache or something because of him

You nod your head and tell him that it's because you need the glasses to fully see

As soon as the game was over, he was like, "Legit???" and couldn't believe his ears when you confirmed it

Dealing with glasses was difficult enough but he couldn't imagine playing while not wearing contacts or glasses

The day after that, you now have matching glasses with your boyfriend, now the both of you can act like the smart people in anime :D

Satan

Most likely wears reading glasses but that's it

He instantly knows that you need it because who squints like that?

But he doesn't have your medical files so he couldn't say for sure

It didn't hurt to ask though

"MC? Forgive me if this sounds offensive, but do you always squint like that?"

"Oh! I didn't tell you? I need glasses!"

"Have you not been wearing contacts or glasses this past month??"

"I forgot..."

Satan thinks of a solution, not wearing glasses when you need it, especially with bad vision might further harm the eyes so he tags along with you to get one

Frankly, he doesn't mind if his lover has glasses, he thinks it's endearing!

Asmodeus

Cares a lot about all of his body and makes sure to take care of them all the time so he didn't really need glasses, well, the ones with prescription that is

Honestly could have been one of the brothers to let you remember much earlier

Because he also spends time on his eyes, making sure it gets its needed rest, he might know something about glasses

And he noticed how you seemed to need one whenever you look at something close/far away

He hugs your arm, looking at you with a worried pout, "Hey MC, you've been staring in space and squinting for a long while, are you okay?"

As you reassured him and tell him that you just forgot your glasses, he laughs it off, until he realized that you weren't wearing one for MONTHS

He's a little worried, what if your vision got worse?

As soon as school ends, he's taking you to the doctor! No buts!

Beelzebub

The brother who didn't notice until at least 4 months or longer (while the others took a few weeks or a month)

Another one who cares about his body to keep it healthy, eyes are very important and even if it was an annoying task, he isn't planning on making it worse

Might have seen you squinting and staring off in space with a mean look, but that's what Belphie and Lucifer do sometimes, so he thought it was nothing

Until you say it outright to him or someone tells him, or if your vision's getting worse, he wouldn't notice-

"Ugh...I can't believe I forgot my glasses of all things.."

"You needed glasses??"

He feels bad for not noticing sooner, so he vows to help find you if ever your glasses get lost or ruined

Belphegor

Menace

Would be fast asleep to notice your struggles

And if we're going the original route and the two of you just met, he wouldn't even care-

When he finds out that you forgot them and had to walk around with no glasses, he snickered

"Who forgets their glasses?" He flicks your forehead with a small smile before yawning

Would bully you lightly tease you for having glasses in the first place

"You need glasses to see? Too bad."

But if you really do feel sad about what he's saying, he'll feel a little bad and stops it, apologizing quietly

Even if it's a difficult task for him to stay awake, he wants to at least try one time for you and remind you where your glasses are and that you should wear it

[nctsworld]

the yuletide boyfriend

✩‌ yangyang ‌x‌ ‌reader‌ ‌|‌ fluff | angst | smut | friends to lovers | ‌college au | 9k

SUMMARY‌ ‌⇾‌ your one wish this year is to not be single during the holidays. yangyang, as your best friend, takes it upon himself to be your temporary boyfriend. soon enough, both parties begin to wish this new arrangement could last beyond the holidays. // part of the x-mas in ncity collection WARNINGS‌ ‌⇾‌ implied ‌anxiety attack (during the first part of dec 24th – skip if need to), smut, mutual m*sturbation, couch s*x, angst, miscommunication, swearing RATING‌ ‌⇾‌ mature TAGLIST ⇾ @infnteen​ 

AUTHOR’S NOTE ⇾ this is my longest fic to date and also... might be my worst b/c i feel like the angst plot points don’t really make sense... but i hope y’all still enjoy!!! 

⇾ gif created by me, please don’t share or repost without credit!

NOVEMBER 30th

“So, anything special on your wishlist this year?”

Your best friend, Yangyang, asks you as you two sit next to each other on one of the many plush lounge couches in the Psychology building. It’s the usual lunch spot where you meet with him during your break between lectures.

The Psych building held much sentimental value for both of you because you met in Psych 101 during first year. Fast-forward three years later, neither of you expected to be the close friends that you are today.  

Chewing your sandwich, you ponder on his question for a bit. Through the transparent glass walls leading to outside, you see the trickle of students heading towards the building since class is about to start for the noon round of lectures. A couple, you assume by the tight hand-holding and nose kissing, giggles as they enter the building, glued to one another by the hip.

“Not really.” You drop your head downward to your lunch container, smiling to yourself. “I’m honestly just happy to have Mark in my life, especially at this point in the year.”

Yangyang nods in accordance and smiles too, understanding the story behind your sentiment.

The boyfriends you’ve had since first year have always broken up with you before the holidays, right before the end of November. Since you only became close during second year, Yangyang’s been around for two out of three of your cursed holiday break-ups.

To have Mark, your latest boyfriend, be with you and it being already December tomorrow, it was truly a blessing for you and a silver lining that maybe this was the year to break the curse. Yangyang was grateful too, wanting you to have the utmost happiness.    

You take another bite of your sandwich and tilt your chin toward the ramen eater.

“You?”

Yangyang slurps a few more noodles before he answers.

“I mean, the new Playstation would be nice,” he hums, mouth full.

Pointing the tip of your sandwich, you joke, “I’ll get it for you, but only if we share custody over it.”

“Mm-mm,” he shakes his head during a mid-slurp. “You know I can’t promise that.”

Both of you laugh in unison, living in the calm before the oncoming storm.

DECEMBER 5th

The E-Sports club for the university is hosting a party tonight and because Yangyang’s on one of the professional teams, he asked a few weeks ago if you and Mark wanted to attend. Of course you accepted; Mark also had some friends in the club.

However, when you text Yangyang in the afternoon, stating a change of mind, he knows something’s off.

Half an hour before the party starts, Yangyang decides to visit you. Thankfully you both lived on campus, but even if you lived across town, he’d still bus out to see how you were doing. He does it all the time to visit his family, anyway.  

In the living room, the two sudden knocks at your door startle you. Peering through the peephole, you see the usual sight of your best friend, his lips curled upward and thumbs tucked in his pockets as he rocks on the balls of his feet.

It feels like an eternity for him when you unlock your door. The hinges squeal as you open it hesitatingly, your face barely appearing through the agape crack.

Immediately, his smile dissolves. Your face is drained and blood-shot eyes avoiding his own confront him.

Yangyang has only seen you cry twice in the three years he’s known you:

Once, when you were freaking the fuck out over potentially failing a course (but, on the upside, you ended up passing the final to save your grade).

The second time was at his house for a family dinner, when his mom accidentally added too much hot chili sauce to her homemade beef noodle soup (let’s just say you weren’t the only one crying that night).

Those were tears of dread and physical discomfort.

But this… this was crying he’s never seen from you before. His chest collapses inward, fearful of the reason behind your tears.  

His voice shakes as he asks, “What happened? Are you okay?”

Neither of you are major huggers and only exchange them on the rare occasion.

However, this situation screams the necessity of it, so Yangyang lunges towards you, the collision swinging the door out of the way. His arms embrace you like a large, warm blanket. Comforting and safe.  

Despite the affection, emptiness has taken over your body. Tonight, you’re a dead, empty shell of who you normally are.

You feel weak to the bone, but you muster up enough energy to scarcely raise your arms over his back to return the hug. Your eyes are dry from all the crying you’ve done all day, but apparently you have more tears left in you to spare.

Your eyelids snap shut and your jaw clenches.  

“Mark broke up with me.”

Your words are muffled into his shoulder, but Yangyang hears it crystal clear.  

You break down, sobbing out of control over the statement.

As aforementioned, Yangyang’s been around for your last two, now three, break-ups. Sure, he’s aware of how grumpy and distant you can get, but you never cried in front of him. You made an effort to never have him see you at your lowest point.

And yet, here you are, drowning him in your misery. Guilt washes over you for drenching his bomber jacket, but Yangyang couldn’t give two shits. His arms squeeze tighter while he rubs your back tenderly.

After several minutes pass and your waterworks abate, you peel away from him. You sniffle and rub your nose with the back of your hand.

“Sorry about cancelling last minute.”

“Hey, no need to apologize,” he whispers soothingly.

“I’m just… so fucking frustrated.”

With fatigued eyes, you drag yourself back inside your apartment. Yangyang discreetly closes the door behind him and hurriedly uses his feet to push off his shoes. As he does so, your mouth begins to run off while you slowly pace around aimlessly.  

“Fucking done with boyfriends, especially when they think it’s so fucking awesome to keep breaking up with me right before the holidays.”

He kicks off his last stubborn shoe and catches you raking your hands through your hair, pulling it back firmly. Your lips are trembling, along with your entire frame.  

“Like I get that I’m horrible and needy and emotional—”

His mouth opens, wanting to cut in to disagree with you with all his heart, but he clamps it back shut and swallows, allowing you to blow your steam off.

“—but can’t they wait until the fucking new year? I don’t know, or maybe just don’t date me in the first place! I don’t know, I don’t fucking know anymore. I’m just cursed, Yangyang...”

You flop down onto the couch and sink into the ocean of shiny pleather, shutting your eyes and trying to stop crying for the nth time. The deep sting behind your eyelids pain you, but it pains Yangyang more to watch the events unfolding ahead of him.  

Unsure of what to say, Yangyang walks around the room. His gaze falls on your laptop screen and he frowns at the mostly bare Word document that stares back at him:  

“WISHLIST:   -KEEP ONE (1) FUCKING BOYFRIEND DURING THE CHRISTMAS SEASON!!!!!!!! GOD FUCKING SDKMFLDS”

There are a few more lines below it with more profanities and keyboard smashing. He quickly darts away, a pang of guilt striking for invading your privacy.

Then, he turns to you on the couch again. You’re now covering your eyes with your forearm, pressing your lips together. His chest twists and his throat is arid as a desert.

You’re in shambles and he’s dying to pick up the shattered pieces of you, wants to glue you back together. On a regular basis, Yangyang’s a talking machine and can talk your ear off for hours, but right now, he doesn’t know what to say to you in your current state. He second-guesses himself, wonders if he’s even that great of a friend if he can’t comfort you in your worst times.

Blowing out a long sigh and removing your arm, you speak aloud, “You should get going to the party.”

Like awakening from a deep slumber, you rise up sluggishly and sit up on the couch, slouched over. The other figure in the room steps closer to you.  

“Sorry about your jacket, by the way,” you say. Your body is still, but your glazed eyes move to the dark spot on the middle of his shoulder. He glances at it and shrugs.  

“It’s better like this anyway,” he says with a gentle smile, and the tight knot in his heart softens at the flicker of your own smile, albeit a small one. Unfortunately, it fades in a few seconds. “I don’t want to leave you like this, though.”

You stare at the used, crumpled balls of tissues scattered on the living room table. Some also ended up on the floor. Break-ups are shit and 98% inevitable, but you know you’ll eventually get over it. You always do.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

He raises an eyebrow, as if asking, “Are you sure?” The lack of a worded reply causes you to notice the question written on his face.  

“Go,” you plead with a feeble laugh. “Have fun for me.”

Both of you head towards your front door again. Crossing your arms, you lean your head against the door frame and attempt a smile for your best friend.

“Thanks again for checking up on me.”

Yangyang nods with a half-smile, half-pout, “Of course.”

You give him a departing wave prior to sealing your door.

Usually, Yangyang would bus from your place to the student union building, where the party is being held. Instead, he zippers up his jacket and stuffs his fists into his pockets, opting to bear the early winter chill to walk his thoughts off. His blazing self-doubt burns at first, but he overcomes it by focusing on ideas to fix your accursed dating rut instead.  

Halfway through the walk, a light bulb moment occurs. A plan begins to brew on the surface of his mind and he thinks on it for the rest of the week.  

DECEMBER 11th

It’s been almost a week since you last saw Yangyang.

Finals started already, so classes were done for the semester and thus, your lunch meet-ups halted too. On top of that, since you were simultaneously moping and studying, you hadn’t really texted him much, nor had he, besides the occasional check-up text on how studying was going and random memes. Yangyang knew you preferred time alone to heal and he respected that.  

He also thought six days was enough time to get yourself back on your feet.  

Yangyang’s at your front door once again, but this time with two bowls of his mom’s beef noodle soup in tow.  

“Long time, no see,” you greet. Your tone is chipper, but your eyes look heavy, which could be partially from studying, Yangyang thinks. His smile deepens, content that you seem a lot better than the last time he visited.

“Delivery for two,” he raises the bag in his hand.

“And if I told you I already ate dinner?” you playfully retort.

The boyish man shrugs defeatedly, “Then I’ll tell my mom you hate her cooking—”

“You didn’t say it was your mom’s, Yangyang. Oh, my God,” you gasp, half-mockingly. You rush to grab the bags out of his hand and stroll towards your tiny kitchen. “Start off with that next time.”

As you remove the containers from the bag and onto the granite countertop, Yangyang shuts the door and takes his shoes off.  

“So, I’m gonna be upfront and say that I may have come here with a proposal.”

“Changed your mind about the shared custody of the Playstation?”

“I’m still considering that one.” Finally in his socks, he slings his backpack off his shoulder and plops it onto the couch along with his jacket. He stands next to you by the counter. “But it’s on the same page as that. Remember that day we were talking about wishlists?”

“Mm-hmm,” you hum as you rip off the lid of one of the bowls. Blatant wisps fly upward and you inhale the savoury aroma, followed by a heavenly sigh.  

“Last time I was here… I might’ve seen what you wrote on your laptop.”

Your expression immediately changes into full-on cringe. You bring a palm over to your face.

“Oh, God. Let’s not talk about that. That was just weepy, lonely me talking.”

Yangyang pops off the lid for his bowl and steps into your kitchen, rummaging through your drawers for chopsticks. “So you’re telling me you don’t want a boyfriend for Christmas?”

Your hand flies off your face. Eyes widening, you spew, “Do you have a boyfriend in your pocket, ready for me to have?”

In your open hand, he places a pair of chopsticks into it. “Well, actually, I was thinking—”

Sternly, you point the chopsticks at him. “Don’t you dare set me up with your friends.”

He counters and points his at you, “Even better than that.”

With your interest piqued, you slide yourself onto the counter stool and mix the noodles around, anticipating to hear Yangyang’s fantastic plan. Your friend sits on the other stool, facing you. He pauses for a second, taking a deep breath.  

“Why don’t I be your boyfriend for the holidays?”

You freeze, and the noodles’ drips above your bowl are deafening to both individuals. Laughing awkwardly, you break your frozen state to drop your chopsticks and turn your head to look at him.

Sputtering, you say, “What?”

Unnerved, his mouth pinches to one side, thinking maybe he shouldn’t have even said anything in the first place. This was stupid, so stupid, but it’s out in the open and Yangyang already dug his grave—he may as well lay in it.  

“Well, for one, it’s something on your wishlist that I can easily get,” he pauses mid-sentence, glancing upward in thought. “Well, really, fill? Is that a better way to put it?”

He continues, eyes back on you, “And two, I’m not setting you up with a stranger or someone you wouldn’t be comfortable with. I assume you know me well enough that you’re comfortable around me?”

Yangyang lifts an upturned palm and raises an eyebrow, waiting for a response to his assumption. Petulantly, you shake your head playfully and stick out your tongue at him.  

Rubbing the back of his neck, his gaze drops down to the floor for his last point. His voice lowers.

“And, I don’t know, we’d just hang out like we usually do during that time, except we’d do more couple-y things.”

Realizing the implication of his words, he widens his eyes. “I mean, we'll do whatever you’re comfortable with, obviously. We don’t have to do any of the physical stuff—”

You burst into a giggle at his rambling and hold a hand out, cutting him off. “Okay, Yang. I get it.”  

Yangyang watches your next moves carefully. You’re peering off to one side and picking at the tips of your fingers. After a minute that feels like forever, you nod slowly.

“I guess you have a point. We are sorta like a couple already.”

Your best friend sighs in relief, grinning that you’re not outright rejecting the idea.

“So,” you meet his eyes and bunch a shoulder up towards your ear. “We’ll just be a couple until what, New Year’s?”

“Yeah, sure,” he shrugs indifferently. “Whatever you want. It’s your Christmas wish.”

You chuckle and shake your head in disbelief that you two are actually making an agreement for Yangyang to be your temporary, holiday boyfriend.

Honestly, it’s a little crazy... but maybe it’s the perfect thing to get your mind off of Mark and the handful of holiday exes hanging above your head.

“Okay, since my last final is on the 21st, let’s start ‘dating’ then and we’ll play everything by ear, see how it goes.”

Yangyang bobs his head eagerly. “Sounds good, soon-to-be girlfriend.”

He sticks a hand out for you to shake. You take it firmly, sealing the deal and flashing him a grin.

“Soon-to-be boyfriend.”  

Although the night goes on like usual between the two of you, you couldn’t deny how ecstatic you are to finally have a boyfriend during the holidays, even if it was technically your best friend as a stand-in.

DECEMBER 21st

Tonight’s your first date with Yangyang.

That sounds weird to say, you admit to yourself, but it’s the truth.

After you stroll out of your last final of the semester, Yangyang’s waiting for you inside near the main exit of the building with several layers on, including his hoodie over his head and a knitted scarf underneath. His attention leaves his phone and he stuffs it into pocket as he notices you heading over.  

“Hey, girlfriend,” he welcomes you, beaming.

You snicker at the unfamiliar label. You wonder if you’re going to get used to this, even if it’s only for two weeks.  

“Hey, boyfriend,” you grin harder as the word falls from your lips, trying your best not to outright burst into laughter. “Where we heading off to?”

Although you said both of you could play the dating by ear, Yangyang’s been keen on scheduling plans for the upcoming days. You told him he didn’t have to, however, he insisted by saying that he wouldn’t only be a horrible boyfriend, but a horrible friend if he couldn’t make the next weeks fun for you.

Yangyang was anything but a horrible friend, and the fact that he was willing to be your holiday boyfriend to make you happy proved it further. Nevertheless, you gladly let him take the reins.

“I was thinking the movies tonight? See the latest Marvel film?”

Concurring to the idea, you scurry towards the bus stop and are movie-theatre bound to the nearest one off-campus. Arriving at the theatre, Yangyang and you buy your tickets and a popcorn to share, then head into the respective auditorium where the movie is playing. Since the movie’s been running for a couple of weeks, the auditorium is fairly empty, giving you two the chance to snag perfect middle seats with nobody else is in the row.  

Up to this point, aside from the name-dropping of boyfriend and girlfriend, this feels less like a date and more like any other hang-out with him. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing awkward.

But that changes during a third of the movie.

You’re both so immersed by the screen that neither party notices the other’s hand when both of you reach for the popcorn in Yangyang’s lap at the same time.  

A jolt runs through as your hands brush together. The duo’s eyes tear away from the screen and flit to the action happening in real-time. The touch lingers for several moments.  

“Sorry,” you quickly mumble, drawing your hand back slightly, but still hovering over the popcorn.    

“Uhm,” Yangyang licks his lips and visibly gulps under the screen’s bright glare.

He whispers, his voice almost cracking, “As your boyfriend, can I hold your hand?”

Okay, this is just your best friend, acting as your temporary boyfriend, asking to hold your hand. No big deal, no big deal at all.

Yet, the thunderous knocking in your ears, louder than the explosions blasting through the theatre’s speakers, suggests otherwise.

You don’t even register it, but you’re already nodding in response. Your breathing slows to the rate of Yangyang’s hand inching over. At the anticipated contact, you gasp softly. His smooth fingers clasp over yours. Since the arm rest in the middle of you is positioned upward, there’s no obtrusion and you relax, letting your hands mingle in between the empty space.

Without looking at one another, both of you smile bashfully to yourselves as you try to continue to focus on the screen.

After a while, because you aren’t exactly holding hands, you spread your fingers, hastily doing so because you don’t want him to think you’re breaking the interaction, and twist your palm to properly interlock hands with him. You give Yangyang’s hand a warm, gentle squeeze. He does the same and even strokes his thumb against your skin.

Talk about playing everything by ear. Who knew you’d be hand in hand on the first date?

You attempt to not think much on it, but Yangyang’s hand in yours feels... so right, like your hand was made for this, for his to hold. Like you should’ve done this way sooner.

And if Yangyang’s thoughts could be heard, he’s thinking the same.

Despite the mutual fear of sweaty palms, neither of you desire to let go, so much that you not only hold hands during the rest of the movie, but throughout the bus ride back to campus and all the way until he escorts you to your front door.

With a certain charge in the atmosphere, you exchange sweet good-byes. That night, after the culmination of stress from finals and your worries of your holiday exes, you finally have a peaceful sleep, looking forward to your date with Yangyang tomorrow.

DECEMBER 22nd

“Babe, how do I look?”

“Very pretty, honey.” A bundled up Yangyang winks at you from behind his phone.

The second date is an evening at a Christmas light festival at a botanical garden on the outskirts of town. The lights illuminate so strongly; there was a glowing dome-like hue over the location that seemed to reach the dark sky as you got off the bus.

When stepping foot into the garden, all the encompassing lights mesmerize you. Lights on the various greenery, lights as decorative art pieces, lights lining the pathways. Different shades of colours and shapes engulf the massive area.

Yangyang’s currently in the middle of taking your photo near an arch tangled with dark blue, gold, and white bulbs. All night long, you’ve been mockingly using endearing terms, but, despite the frigid air, your cheeks heat up over something else he just said.

“You think I’m pretty?” you genuinely ask, breaking your pose.  

He lowers his phone a bit, his jaw dangling.

“Uh, I mean,” he giggles awkwardly, nodding softly. “Yeah.”

Yangyang never told you, but he initially sat near you in Psych 101 because he thought you were the most stunning girl in the class. And sure, he was a little disappointed at the time to find out you had a boyfriend, but that didn’t mean you two couldn’t still be friends. Other than the first few weeks he had a crush on you, he’s never thought of you as more than a friend.  

But those feelings are resurfacing, hitting him in the chest like a bag of bricks, due to moments like this one—you’re batting your eyelids, gaze straying elsewhere, and adorably chewing on your lower lip.  

“And you’re not just saying that as my holiday boyfriend?”

Pouting to one side, he shakes his head cutely. “Mm-mm.”

On the flipside, the beginning with Yangyang for you was strictly platonic. You were dating Haechan at the time you met him. When Haechan broke up with you later that fall, you kept a distance from dating for a while, heartbroken from the high school love gone sour. During that period, you never told him, but you did run through the possibility of dating Yangyang since you got along so well... until you met Jaemin earlier the next semester, who stole your heart. Ever since then, you’ve never seen Yangyang under that light again.

Despite that, you can’t deny how attractive he is, and now that you’re single and technically dating him, you embrace the fact with open arms.  

Beaming as bright as the lights, you tug him by the end of his puffer jacket’s sleeve to bring him closer to you.

“C’mon, handsome, let’s take some pictures together.” Prickles rise under Yangyang’s cheeks from the off-hand compliment.  

Holding your phone up in the air at about an arm’s length away, the side of your heads touch to prepare for a few selfies. When you finish capturing them, Yangyang’s hovering over your shoulder as you scroll through to glance through the photos.

“We look good together,” you comment. “Don’t you think?”

In sync, your heads turn to meet each other. Your eyes waver from the blatant clouds of your breaths and over to his lips. The clouds become rapid bursts as you begin to lean forward. So does Yangyang.

“Do you guys want a picture together?” someone suddenly asks. The abrupt voice drags you both apart instantly, crushing the moment into pieces.

“Sure,” you peep, fumbling to hand your phone over to the stranger.

Posing, Yangyang’s hand rests around the middle of your back, which is the norm when you take pictures with him, but he pulls you in snugly. You smile even wider, relishing in the new-level of intimacy and allow yourself to be truly content among his presence.

“You guys are such a cute couple,” the stranger gushes while they return your phone prior to walking away.

“I guess we are, huh, babe?” you jut your tongue out in jest at him. This time, you indulge in the endearing term without a sliver of mockery.  

Yangyang copies you, jutting his tongue out further than yours, and seizes your hand to continue the tour around the gleaming garden.

The almost-kiss isn’t mentioned for the rest of the night, nor is it acted upon, but both individuals dwell on the near occurrence before sleep that evening, staring longingly at their bedroom ceiling.

DECEMBER 23rd

For the third date, you find yourselves at the campus’ dedicated ice rink arena to partake in ice skating.

You’ve skated a few times in the past, but you’re by no means a pro. On the other hand, this is apparently Yangyang’s first time, and he’s already skating circles around you.

“Show off,” you grumble as he does another lap past you. Your gloved hands are splayed out in front of you, careful not to fall flat on your face.

Turning on his blades, he rebounds over to you.

“Sorry,” he pants. His raised cheeks glow an adorable shade of pink. “This is really fun when you get the hang of it.”

Yangyang intertwines his fingers with yours before you can say anything. “C’mon, take my hand.”  

At first, it was sweet to skate alongside your holiday boyfriend, notwithstanding the few times you almost trip. As the minutes pass, you think you’re getting the hang of it, but suddenly, Yangyang unleashes your hand and glides ahead of you, abandoning you to slide at a swift pace that is definitely out of your comfort zone.  

“Yangyang, what the fuck?!” you screech, completely disregarding the handful of surrounding parents with their kids, the former sending daggers your direction. Your ankles struggle to make a T-shape to stop, but the struggling only somehow makes you move faster.  

As he spins to face you, now skating backwards with ease, he says, “See, you got the hang of it-oomph—”

Air’s struck from his lungs when you crash into his body. Thankfully, Yangyang skids his blades harshly against the ice and is able to steady and support you within his arms.

“You little fucker,” you gripe, lightly punching him in the arm.

He chuckles blithely, “Sorry, but it was kinda funny, you gotta admit.”

You breathe a large huff, which makes you note how your hair is falling over your face after the catastrophe. You’re about to lift your hand to rearrange the strands, but Yangyang beats you to it and is in the midst of tucking them behind your ear.

The knocking in your ears reappears with a vengeance and the physical source of the knocking is thrashing violently against your chest.

Your scorching breaths fuse in the refrigerated rink as Yangyang eliminates the inches of space between, his plush mouth ultimately converging with yours.

You have to constantly remind yourself to breathe under Yangyang’s intensity, and remind yourself that you’re in a public space and shouldn’t be making out like this.

But everyone’s skating around the couple, daring to not disrupt the affectionate display.

God, you don’t know when was the last time you’ve been kissed like this. Have you ever even experienced a kiss that was a fraction of this? Yangyang daintily cups your cheeks like you’re glass, but his lips press ruggedly into yours, inflaming your entirety and melting any existence of your figurative fragility.  

You ignore the echo in the back of your mind that reminds you he’s your temporary boyfriend.

The Talk will inevitably occur, but your future self could deal with it. Presently, you’re too caught up, drowning in Yangyang’s embrace.

DECEMBER 24th

On Christmas Eve, Yangyang decides to bring you to an outdoor Christmas market.

Understandably, since it’s the day before Christmas, the place is absolutely packed. For the first fifteen minutes or so, it’s joyous being immersed in the Christmas spirit with the assorted little shops and their respective products. You’re holding Yangyang’s hand tightly, pointing and half-shouting over the bustle about the items that catch your eye.

Unfortunately, someone accidentally bumps against your arms and your hand is gone from his.

Swivelling your head, searching through the crowd, it occurs to you that you officially lost Yangyang.

Your feet come to a halt as your hand attempts to dig into your jacket pocket to pluck your phone out, but the moving crowd forces you to constantly follow the stream.

You yell for him, but words can’t materialize. Your windpipe tightens. Your breath is becoming shallower and shallower. Blood pulses in your ears alarmingly, blocking out the clamour from around you. Your mind’s running everywhere without control.

Where is your boyfriend?

No, scratch that, he’s not your actual boyfriend—where is your best friend?

Did he leave you? He would never.

Right?

But what happens when all of this is over? Will you still have your best friend?

You’ve avoided The Talk long enough, but you didn’t expect to catch feelings for him. Not like this.  

Maybe you’re just destined to be alone.

Is this how it feels to actually lose him?

Tears fight your vision. You hear a faint call of your name, but you can’t urge yourself to turn around, sinking only further into the sea of anonymity. You’re just a face in a crowd, all alone, with no one who cares—

Yangyang grasps you by the arm and maneuvers you aside to a less busy area behind one of the vendor stands.

“Oh, God, thought I lost you there—”

You cut him off, hugging him with all your might and stuff your face in his chest cushioned by the downy layers of his winter jacket. Yangyang immediately drapes his arms securely around you, reading your uneasiness.  

“Hey, I got you. I got you,” he soothes, running a hand through your hair. “God, not my best idea. Sorry for bringing you here.”

You shake your head, wordlessly informing him that it’s okay. You’re just glad to be with him again.

“Wanna go home?”

You nod solemnly, and Yangyang zips you out of there in minutes with his arm tucked by your side,  ensuring he doesn’t lose you in the crowd again.

Fortunately, the jitters mostly disappear when you arrive at your place in the late afternoon. You’re in the middle of rummaging through your keys to unlock your door.

“Sorry I didn’t have anything else planned for today,” he mumbles, leaning with folded arms against the wall.

“Did you...” You insert the correct key and turn the lock, clicking the door open. Your gaze lifts to match his. “Did you wanna maybe have dinner with me tonight? I was thinking of ordering pizza in.”

The grin that reaches his eyes is a sufficient answer for you.

“Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” He hangs his arm around your shoulder and plants a kiss atop your head.

After chomping down pizza and playing a few rounds of Super Smash Bros. on Yangyang’s Switch, you peer over to him on your living room couch while he’s figuring out which character he should play next.  

The little mental voice in the back of your mind prods you, reminding that you should really, really have The Talk soon. The Talk that you swept under the rug at the start by saying you’d play everything by ear.

Four dates later, and the thought of this ending scares the living daylights out of you. This not only including the interim relationship, but the dire possibility of the friendship itself too. Is it possible to go back to how you were, flipping it off like a light switch?

But the internal voice is smothered as you’re drawn to his pouting lips in thought. His pouting, oh-so kissable lips. Following the ice skating kiss yesterday, you only shared a good-bye kiss when he dropped you off. Since then, you’ve been itching to have his lips on yours again.

Yangyang eventually detects your lack of focus and finds you gawking at his mouth. Your gaze dashes to his eyes, blinking innocently, but then his eyes flicker to your mouth.

The tension in the room snaps. You two carefully throw the Switch controllers off to one side and attach yourselves together. Unlike the crashing of your bodies at the ice rink, this one is purposeful. Deliberated, as his forehead presses into yours and his tender caress carries your cheek. Your body plummets backwards until Yangyang pins you completely into the couch.

Initially, the lip-locking is gentle and mild. Your fingers lay in the vicinity of his angular visage and sturdy upper frame, in contrast to his hand curling around your waist in a light squeeze.

Soon, hands traverse to other regions—his back, your thigh, his stomach, your ass. Each touch seeking, craving, whining. Tongues slinking and dancing with appetite. Your bodies buzz for more.

Open-mouthed kisses transition from the damp lips to each other’s necks. The touches dig deeper, thriving with hunger. Your back bows, body curving into his. Grinding ensues and his robust desire is blatant against your own pulsing passion.

“You don’t happen to have any condoms on you, do you?” you groan upwards to the ceiling.

He retracts from your neck to swing his head side to side, grumbling a “Sorry, we can stop...” yet you interrupt his apology by cupping his covered length. The guttural groan he exhales into your lips makes you shiver with pleasure.

“Doesn’t mean we still can’t have fun with our hands...” you say slyly.

“Fuck yeah,” he rasps, smirking, before diving in again to taste your mouth.

Clothes are stripped with the assistance of each other, leaving you with only your bra on while Yangyang opts to be completely bare. He tops your body in the same position once more.

On the couch arm rest, your head is perched with his hand clutching the space next to it for leverage. Both figures are too scatter-brained to delve into the exquisite nudity of one another, hands flying desperately to your respective arousals.

Your pretty fingers wrap around his possession almost exactly when he dips two digits into your warmth. In unison, two sharp, quiet gasps pierce the room.

“Shit, you’re so wet,” he hisses observantly. You’re so overwhelmed by the bliss that you can’t assemble any sort of response.

Your mouth’s parted to one side, chest soaring with each plunge. Through his clouded vision, he ambles over your curves and lines and yearns to see your breasts, but he respects your choice of keeping it on and opts to ambush the expanse with kisses. Your chest is launched further into his mouth and Yangyang assumes you’re enjoying this.

Fearing friction burn, you drop him from your grip momentarily, swiping a few licks over your palm. When your hand pumps him again, now drenched with saliva, grunts reverberate against your skin.  

“Yangyang?” you whimper, causing his face to pull away from the temple of your body.

“Yeah, baby?”

“I’m-I’m close.” And he can attest to it; the contractions around him are increasing, harshly squeezing his fingers.    

“Same,” he pants.

Your best friend flicks his wrist with ignition, securing your waves of elation. You attempt to do the same, but it’s difficult when he’s also sloppily thrusting himself into your fist, so you simply clench your grasp harder. His features pinch and choppy moans dribble as he yields to his climax, gushing himself over your stomach.  

Still sucking in lungfuls of air, Yangyang kisses you tenderly before removing himself to clean up the mess he made.

Following the clean-up, while putting on your clothes, Yangyang expresses how he should get going since it’s getting late.

“Did you wanna stay the night?” you pipe up.

His mind races, debating on whether to leave or not, anxious to blur the lines of your relationship even further.

Sure, he’s your temporary boyfriend, thus staying over at your place shouldn’t mean anything. But this agreement is ending next week, and he’s questioning if you two can stay just friends after this, knowing that he’s going to want more. Yangyang has had a taste of the what if, and it’s now irrevocable.

He wants you all for himself. Selfishly, but deeply.

For the sake of keeping this a great thing for you, he shoves his thoughts aside. This is all about you and for your benefit, anyhow.

“Uh, sure, I can take the couch like I always—”

“Yangyang, you just put your fingers inside of me,” you snicker, snagging him by the hand to your bedroom. “C’mon.”

The rest of the night is relatively chaste with some kisses and touches here and there. Eventually, you fall asleep facing each other with your fingers interlocked, excited for the big day tomorrow.

DECEMBER 25th

Normally on Christmas, Yangyang and you spend it with your respective families, but coincidentally, both of your families, your parents being retired and all, ended up vacationing this year, leaving the two of you to spend it with each other.

After getting up around noon, Yangyang heads to his place to grab his gift. He takes longer than you expected because, as it turns out, he also went home to grab baking goods he bought beforehand since he wants to make butter cookies with you today.

The cookies end up fine, but the mess is another story. Besides the chaos on the counter, your faces and aprons are splotched with flour (you swear he started it, but he disagrees and stands his ground that you’re the perpetrator). With a damp cloth, Yangyang aids you to clean, but not forgetting to wipe your face and giving you pecks over your cheeks and nose.  

The baking and aftermath occupies most of the afternoon, so dinner comes in the form of fancy, romantic instant ramen for two. Afterwards, you two sit in your living room and start to exchange gifts.  

Yangyang hands his over to you first. From the size of the gift and the crumpled, oddly-shaped wrapping, you already can guess it’s a stuffed plushie of a cute animal to add to your never ending collection. You hug it tightly with a large smile.

“It’s so cute, thank you!” you squeal, but you change your expression in an instant to a serious pout. “But you can’t steal this one like you did with my Ice Bear plushie.”

“Hey, I didn’t steal Ice Bear, I just forgot to give him back.” You roll your eyes sarcastically and he laughs. “I’ll bring him over tomorrow, if it makes you feel better.”  

Then, when it’s your turn, you head into your bedroom and come out with a large, white shopping bag. His eyebrows raise, unsure of what could warrant a gift this size.

“For being my holiday boyfriend,” you grin, placing the bag in front of his feet.  

Despite the hugest smile on your face, his heart sinks at the label for a second, but he blinks and wills himself to look inside the bag.

His eyes shoot open, so much that you’re scared you might have to stuff them back into his sockets.

Yangyang slips the box out of the bag with precision and stares at it speechlessly.

It’s the new Playstation.

He shifts his eyes toward you. You’re swaying on the couch, pleased by his reaction.  

“Your parents paid for most of it, so I can’t take all the credit.” Sticking a finger in the air, you add, “You just gotta promise to share custody with me though—”

A hand behind your head yanks you into a deep kiss. He’s not the only one left speechless on the couch. He places the top of his head against yours.

“You’re crazy, but I love—” He quickly catches himself from saying something he might regret. “—I love it so much, thank you. Now I feel bad for getting you only the stuffed animal...”

You shake your head softly, brushing your thumb against his cheekbone.

“Thank you for everything.” Your eyes twinkle. “I couldn’t have asked to spend the holidays with anyone else.”

Carefully, like a newborn baby, he safely situates the boxed Playstation to one side and nabs your lips with his again. The scene feels like repeat of last night as your bodies wrestle passionately on the couch.

“Not to be presumptuous,” he mutters between the kisses upon your neck. Your eyelids flutter at the sensation. “But I also grabbed condoms from my place when I stopped by.”

His words sends the two of you leaping towards your bedroom. Under the dim lighting, you fall into the bed as Yangyang pares your layers off, one by one. With each peel, his lips roam the revealing bare skin. You swear he has kissed you from your literal head to toe when you’re fully nude in front of him.

Your companion drags his shirt over his head, throws it off to your floor, and immediately targets in onto your nub with his mouth, finally satiating his craving from last night.

Fingers thread into his hair and over his flexed back. His tongue swirls and his teeth lightly tug on your perkiness, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. And he still isn’t even inside you yet.

After leaving love upon your other bosom, Yangyang fumbles with the condom, forgetting which way it should go on. Giggling, you perch yourself onto your elbows and assist him. Rolling it over his possession, you recline yourself back and spread your legs for him.

Pensively, he sticks his tongue out as he adjusts himself between your sex, easing himself into you, and upon the full impact, you meet his gaze head-on. His stare makes you feel vulnerable and exposed beyond the physical plane.  

But, unlike the others you have been with, you trust him with everything, like you always have, and be free with him. Losing your inhibitions and submitting to your whims, you entangle and become one with Yangyang.  

Behind his hazy vision, Yangyang’s simply thinking how beautiful you are, how he can’t imagine anyone else under his touch but you, how he is willing to give up anything to make you smile.

Well, in this case, he’s willing to give up anything to make you pleased.

However, it doesn’t seem like he needs to do much because you’re howling his name and clinging onto his skin and the sheets in a frenzy, like you’re about to die of exhaustion.

You perish a few times under him before he finally reaches his little death himself, convulsing into the sheath.

When air’s replenished into your bodies, you rest on his chest under your blanket. Glancing up at him, you move some of his tousled hair off his sleek forehead.

“Merry Christmas, Yangyang,” you whisper, snuggling him with a satisfied smile.

“Merry Christmas, babe,” he whispers back, giving you one last peck before you both drift into a deep slumber together.  

DECEMBER 26th

Last night took so much out of the both of you, you don’t get out of bed until about the middle of the afternoon. Yangyang doesn’t have anything planned for today since it’s Boxing Day, since the crowds might be crazy wherever you go, so it’s officially a chill, rest day for you both.

When you step out of the shower in fresh clothes, from behind the couch, you watch Yangyang gaming on his Switch.

The little voice in your head looms, prompting that now is the time to have The Talk, and speaks up on your behalf.

“Do we have to end things next week?” you croak.

You see Yangyang’s shoulders stiffen, then he pauses the game and turns around to face you. His gaze follows you as you step closer to the couch, opting to stand.  

“Uhm.” His Adam’s apple bobs and he shrugs. “It’s up to you, it’s your—”

“Yangyang, that’s not what I’m asking. I’m asking what you think, how do you feel?”

His lips press together and he’s staring at the floor. You can tell the gears are moving, but you can’t read his expression clearly.

“I’m down for whatever you want to do,” he says slowly, eyes still averting yours.

That’s a I’m-your-best-friend answer, you deduce. Not a I-want-to-be-your-actual-boyfriend answer.  

He adds, stuttering, “I mean, I wouldn’t mind doing this a little longer if that’s what you want—”

Your face scrunches in annoyance. “Did you just sign up to be my short-term boyfriend so you can fill my empty heart?”

His eyebrows crease with confusion. “I mean, I never want to see you unhappy.”

“So it’s pity dating then?” you lash, raising your voice.

“No, I—” Yangyang bites down on his tongue, almost letting the one word slip out again. He blows out a lengthy sigh and runs a hand through his hair. “I care about you, so much. I’d do anything to make you happy.”

You’re defining his words as an affirmation of friendship and as an underlying rejection of your love.

You need to know for certain.

“Do you love me, Yangyang?” you blurt. “As more than a friend?”

This is it, Yangyang thinks. This is your chance to let her know how you feel.

But the distress written on your face makes him wonder if he should even go through with it, and it’s intensifying with every passing moment that he’s not speaking.  

If only he knew your distress was deepening because you took his hesitance as absolute rejection.  

Your heart is breaking because of him, and he technically wasn’t even yours to begin with.

You smack your lips together and gulp a few times, trying to make the huge knot in your throat disappear.

“You know what, maybe let’s just forget this arrangement and leave it all behind and forget about the sex and—”

“You wanna stop this?” he utters quietly.

The word “this” hangs heavy in the air. This, carrying the weight of not only being the temporary agreement, but also your friendship.

“Yeah,” you whisper, tears beginning to blur your eyes. “I think I do.”

DECEMBER 28th

Two days have passed since you last saw Yangyang.

That day before he left, Yangyang, feeling guilty for how events unfolded, wanted to give back the Playstation, but you insisted for him to keep it. In spite of everything, it was a Christmas gift to him from you and his parents.

But both of you weren’t sure if the shared custody promise was going to be held up.  

In hopes that things would eventually get better and heal itself, Yangyang thought it’d be best to leave you alone for a while, like how he usually did.

And maybe he was right to do so, but this time is different.

Because he’s on the other end of the stick now; he’s the one who broke your heart.  

Under regular circumstances, whenever you needed space, he was always ready to be there by your side.

But Yangyang’s uncertain if you’re going to let him comfort you this time.  

And you’re uncertain if you even want him to.

DECEMBER 30th

Today, Yangyang finally makes the move to get in touch with you, texting you to call him, but you don’t, so he leaves a voicemail later in the evening.

“There’s a New Year’s party I’m going to tomorrow,” he starts off, then spews the specific details.

There’s a pause and you hear shuffling in the background. You assume he’s pacing around.

“I know you ended our agreement, but I wouldn’t mind fulfilling my end since New Year’s is the last day tomorrow. I’d be really glad if you came to the party with me, whether it be as my friend or my girlfriend.”

Another pause.

On the other end, Yangyang rubs his palm over his face, considering whether or not he should say it. If you picked up the phone call, he was going to do it anyway, but this just felt improper. He wants to say it when he knows you’re listening in real-time, so he ends off the message with:

“I miss you. So much.”

DECEMBER 31st

It’s 8:40PM. Before Yangyang buses out to the party, he’s back at your front door for one more shot. His fist taps at your door, cognizant that you wouldn’t be elsewhere since your other friends are out of town for the holidays. Despite that, you don’t come to the door. Nevertheless, he speaks to you through the wooden barrier.

“Hey, I know you want to be left alone, but I just wanted to see if you changed your mind about the party.”

Still no answer. He lets out a sigh and prays the following will incite a reaction from you.  

“About the question that you asked me that night...”

He closes his eyes and allows his mouth to carry him.

“I do. I do love you. As both my best friend and more. I’m sorry if I hurt you that night by not saying anything, but I love you so much and I think we should give us a shot.”

Still no answer. Yangyang continues.

“Look, I know it’s scary and crazy to date your best friend. I’m scared too, but you know what? I’m okay with being scared. I’ve watched you gone through those assholes over the last few years and maybe you’re scared I’ll end up like one of them, but unlike them, I don’t think you’re horrible or needy or emotional—you’re beautiful, intelligent, and strong for putting up with all those fuckers.”

He leans his forehead gently against the door.

“And even if we ever do break up, and this is a big if because I’ll always try my hardest with you to make it work, I’ll still be your friend. I promise. You won’t lose me ‘cause I need you in my life. I gotta keep my end up for the custody of the Playstation, right?”

A smile breaks over his face from his joke, but still. Radio silence.  

“Can you at least say something?” he begs.

After a few minutes, realizing he needs to probably give you more time to be left alone, he departs and heads to the party.

Originally, you actually were planning on attending the party to see Yangyang to make-up with him.

Unfortunately, out of all the days you had to take a late afternoon nap, it had to be today.

And you overslept. Big time. 

At 10:55PM, you scramble awake, realizing you’re absolutely late to the event. Since the party’s downtown, you know calling an Uber or Lyft there would be fast, but tonight’s the worst night for any share riding service and there aren’t any available drivers. Thus, you have to manage with busing there.

It’s 11:40PM when you finally reach downtown, but the bus can’t take you all the way to the core centre where the party is; hordes of people are out on the streets and traffic is dreadful. God, you’re going to be cutting it close to midnight, but you make a run for it.

You’re grateful the party is on the second floor of a small building because you slide in right through the entrance at 11:58PM. You rush to call Yangyang’s phone, hoping he’ll pick up as you try to find him in the scattered groups of people.

You begin to holler for him in hopes he can hear you, but the countdown is happening, drowning out your voice. Thirty seconds left until the clock strikes for the new year.

When his number finally goes to voicemail, you redial his number. Suddenly, a hand grasps you by the wrist.

Yangyang looks at you, dumbfounded.

“When did you get here?”  

The harmonious chanting around you floods your surroundings.

“Ten, nine, eight...”

Getting closer to him, you practically scream into Yangyang’s face, trusting he’ll hear what you’re about to say.

“I know Christmas is over, but I want to change my wish.”

“Seven, six, five...”

“I know you might not feel the same and I know things might not work out.”

“Four, three, two...”

”But I wish to date you past New Year’s until whenever, however long we last.”

“One...”

“I love you, Yangyang—”

The one you love snatches you by the waist and your cheek, stealing your lips at the last millisecond before midnight.

“Happy New Year!”

A wave of noisemakers, clappers, and hollering erupt around the room. After it dies down a bit, Yangyang shocks you with a scolding.

“Why didn’t you say anything when I came over?!”

Confusion rushes over you. You realize he probably came by when you were sleeping. 

“You came over?!”

“Yeah, I confessed my love for you.”

“Wait,” you blink blankly, unsure if you heard him correctly. “Your love?”

“Yeah,” he nods, giving you his cheesy, adorable smile.  “I love you.”

“As more than a friend?” you clarify.

“Babe,” Yangyang’s thumb caresses your cheek. “I don’t think I could ever go back to wanting less with you.”

Your lips tremble with relief as your gaze melts in his.

“And, anyway, who else am I going to share the Playstation with?”

“Well, I mean, you do have Hendery, Xiaojun, Winwin...” you start to count his infinite list of friends on your fingers.  

“Yeah, but I need you so I can constantly beat your cute little butt at games.”

“You do not constantly beat my cute little butt at games, I’ll have you know that I beat you at—”  

Yangyang shuts you up with another kiss, the one of many for the rest of the night.

JANUARY 2nd

It’s your second morning at Yangyang’s place. You’ve only done it a few times now, but you realize that waking up in his arms is one of the greatest feelings in the world, second only to his kisses.  

In his bed, spooning you from behind, he grumbles into the nape of your neck, “Morning, girlfriend.”  

Half-awake, you mumble back, “Morning, boyfriend,” and sink deeper into the curve of his body.

Content, you finally broke your string of cursed holiday break-ups for good.  

And all it took was to be with the one who was in front of you all this time.

[therealvinelle]

What do you think the Cullens would do if some person they were talking to, out of nowhere just quite literally exploded in front of, and on them? Kinda like in that movie Spontaneous. Would they lose control and slurp up the mess on the ground, (and themselves) or would their bloodlust be curtailed by shock of wtf just happened?

I'd say something witty about how this is a strange anon to receive, but holy jesus you've sent me down a rabbithole.

Here's a trailer to the movie Spontaneous. It looks amazing. Kevin Feige wishes this had been his plot for Infinity War.

Here's a trailer for the movie Spontaneous Combustion, which I found by accident while searching for your fic. This looks amazing too. Can't believe Marvel didn't buy the rights to this guy.

I'm serious, people, you definitely want to watch these trailers. I just about died laughing.

So, on to your ask.

In the spirit of your ask, which implies a level of randomness, I thought the people blowing up should be random too. So, being in the mood to procrastinate through spending way too much time on tumblr things, I wrote a program that'll generate for me random Twilight characters.

Unsure whether the explosion should kill vampires or not, I generated an answer. The answer is yes, any generated vampire dies.

Without further ado:

Alice watches Vladimir blow up.

Alright, alright.

The first question to be answered here is why Alice is in Vladimir's presence in the first time. In canon they only meet once, at the end of Breaking Dawn.

For the sake of simplicity, we'll have Vladimir blow up then.

The Cullens and the witnesses are all celebrating being alive, when Vladimir suddenly explodes.

For the sake of the ask, Alice is sitting closest to him when this happens and making conversation.

Her first thought is utter shock. Not just that he blew up, but that she didn't see it coming (she wouldn't, because I randomly generated him. No decision was made). Her second thought is horror.

The Cullens just confronted the Volturi, now mere hours afterwards their allies are blowing up.

Holy fuck, Aro has a gifted ace up his sleeve, and he's using it to kill them remotely.

Panic ensues, not just for Alice, but among all the witnesses. Some of them refuse to leave, Bella has to shield those 24/7, though given the belief that her gift is psychic that doesn't make them feel very safe.

The others decide to go after the Volturi and beg for mercy, assuring them they never meant to challenge them.

Aro, of course, is very confused, but agrees. Why, yes, he does have a vampire who blows people up. Yes, yes he does.

Bella watches Aro blow up.

Oh I'm dying laughing at this one. And wishing I'd put this down for Carlisle, that would be even funnier, but alright.

Bella is walking about post-Breaking Dawn, minding her own business, when suddenly Aro appears in front of her. He looks around himself, utterly surprised by his sudden deplacement, and then blows up.

Bella has been living in terror of this man for years.

In Volterra he had his servant torture her and Edward and then made ominious threats, then a few months later the Eclipse disaster unfolded, finally we have Breaking Dawn where he showed up to murder her and everyone she loved.

Her shield may be powerful, but for as long as Aro was alive her family was never truly safe.

His untimely implosion changes all of that.

I imagine after a long moment of incredulity, Bella burns the rubble, just to be sure, then tells her family the joyous news.

Carlisle gives the guy a funeral. It's weird.

Carlisle watches Vassilii blow up.

Close call, due to my not switching out the names we almost had Angela. In which case Carlisle have stood there, covered in blood and in shock for several long seconds, before bringing out the bleach and gasoline for a crime scene clean.

As it is, Carlisle is minding his own business when suddenly an immortal child dressed like a medieval Eastern European appears before him. It says something in a foreign language that might mean "hi", he doesn't know but he says "hi" to it back, then the child blows up.

Carlisle stares at the rubble for a very long time, wondering if he is perhaps losing his mind. If, perhaps, Aro was right about animal blood being a slow suicide, and Carlisle has finally hit the limit for how long a vampire can go on without human blood.

He burns the rubble and prays for the child's soul, as an immortal child is doomed anyway, and keeps his silence about what happened. In part because there's a solid chance this was all in his imagination.

If Aro ever touches his hand again, and sees the immortal child that he burned a thousand years earlier resurrect, travel through time, all in order to blow up in front of Carlisle, he... well there comes a point where you say "nothing to see here" and refuse eye contact with the universe glitching.

Edward watches Randall blow up.

Randall, for the ignorants, is one of Carlisle's friends that came to witness for the Cullens in Breaking Dawn.

Suddenly he appears in front of Edward, says hi and how do you do, and then he blows up.

Edward tells Carlisle, who is saddened by this, and they try to piece the guy together. They fail.

Edward sends a somber thought to this noble man who agreed with Edward that the Cullens are awesome enough to be worth dying for.

Emmett watches Mary blow up.

Emmett will never admit it, but it's the coolest, raddest thing he's ever seen.

Esme watches Eleazar blow up.

Oh boy.

The Cullens are visiting the Denali. Irina has not been dead for long, but given the crystal clear memory of vampires, and the loss they already suffered (Sasha's death traumatized them) it doesn't really matter how long it's been, the Denali are devastated anyway.

The whole coven is as fragile as it can possibly get.

Then, Eleazar goes to join Esme in the kitchen, and explodes all over her and the kitchen.

The remaining Denali and the Cullens are called to the kitchen by the sound of Esme's screaming, and find her in hysterics, surrounded by gray rubble.

The Denali are near catatonic with grief at this point, while cooking has been ruined for Esme. One moment you're making food, the next people are exploding all over your kitchen.

Yeah.

Esme is not okay.

Jasper watches Nahuel blow up.

It's a shameful moment in his life.

But, hybrids are edible.

And that blood was splattered all over him.

Jasper has the worst control fail of his life, worse even than when he failed with Bella because this fail means he can't be around Renesmée anymore.

It's miserable all around.

The one highlight here is that it didn't happen when they were headed to the Volturi trial together.

Rosalie watches Emmett blow up.

Jesus christ, random Twilight character generator, just when I thought you were just going to give me boring results.

Not only does Rosalie lose the love of her life, the guy who kept her together, the one good thing she had going for her who made her life worth living, but he did so right in front of her, blowing up out of nowhere.

There's no explanation to be had, no culprit to be found, no reason for it. She had no goodbye, just as she can have no revenge.

She will never have closure.

Renesmée watches Renée blow up.

We go out on a high note, my god. Well done, generator, I'm laughing.

Renesmée is curious enough about her grandmother to go to Florida. She was going to watch from afar, but finds herself talking to the woman who raised her mother.

It's all going well until Renée suddenly explodes all over Renesmée.

Renesmée's first thought is nothing, she's in shock.

Then...

Well, she was controlled as an infant, so I don't think an adult Renesmée would lose it unless under extreme circumstances, like if she encountered a singer.

More, though, Renesmée might have any reasons of her own not to drink human blood, but she has been raised with this being a big no-no.

So she shouldn't.

However...

Is she ever going to get a better chance?

Ethically, she could easily argue this is the right choice. No one will be negatively affected by this, at least not directly.

The human is right there, already dead, and there's no body so while Renesmée does have to clean up the gore. Hell, if she laps up the blood on her clothes and the ground she will be cleaning up. Why waste perfectly good blood?

If Renesmée Cullen is ever going to have human blood, this is it.

It will come down to how much she respects her grandfather, and how important she believes Renée was to Bella.

-

Bonus, because I'm having way too much fun with this:

Bree watches Atheonodora blow up.

Bree is minding her own business when suddenly a vampire unlike any she has ever seen before, one with hazy eyes and odd skin, appears before her. They stare at each other. Then the woman blows up.

Bree takes this to mean that exploding is apparently something vampires just do sometimes, runs off in a panic and, sobbing, tells Riley.

Riley, having no idea what to make of any of this, tells her it was those evil yellow-eyes with their witchcraft and sorcery.

[versadies]

general + lantern rite with scaramouche hc (gn!reader, 400 follows special)

penpal: it’s finally here!!! thank you guys sm for the follows and the support. i enjoy writing hcs and i’m happy that a lot of you like it! a few of you also requested me for a scaramouche general hc so hope this lives up to your expectations. happy readings! - ver.

warning/s: ooc!scaramouche

sypnosis: what it’s like to date scaramouche + hang out with him in lantern rite festival

note: i was actually supposed to make this toxic given that scaramouche is... scaramouche but my heart can’t take it so i decided to just go wild on this one.

-> i salute to you for dating this man.

-> scaramouche is scary and is probably not even the type to be interested in having romantic relationships. the fact that he fell in love with you though is shocking to the fatui if they even find out about it. hell, even the man himself is surprised.

-> he’s going to be not so affectionate at first (just subtle affection here and there but no kisses or long cuddling) since he’s not an affectionate type of guy but as time goes by, he’ll eventually start to give you lots of affection.

-> pda is a no for scaramouche. the two of you have to agree in keeping this relationship a secret due to not only the danger you could be in but also the fact that he doesn’t want anyone to know about your relationship with him.

-> don’t get him wrong— it’s not that he’s ashamed of dating you. he knows that almost everyone in teyvat hates the fatui, so the fact that the potential harassment given to you from others is a possibility, he doesn’t want you to be in that situation.

-> the way he acts around you is unpredictable. i think he’d be both cold yet affectionate if that’s even possible. don’t worry, his mean demeanor is different to you than how he acts around everyone else— it’s less harsh and harmless, to which you understand that he’s not serious. feel free to bicker back at him, he won’t kill you.

-> your family would’ve thought he forced you into this if they found out of your relationship with the man. it will take you a lot of reassurance to them that you weren’t forced and the fact that you love him as much as he to you.

-> dates with him are to be private. i’d think he’d pull on a reservation on a restaurant and make sure that everyone around you knows that this date is “private affairs on your debt” (even though you never had a debt in the first place). even if these “private affairs” happens a bit too often than normal, people would be too scared to even confront scaramouche.

-> i honestly see this guy as a classy man. he’ll pull classy dinners, walking around the city hand-in-hand at 3am when everyone is asleep, go somewhere private outside + get a picnic date + star-gazing, etc.

-> i can already imagine this man telling you all of his theories on the skies and on teyvat during your picnic-stargazing dates while you listen and eat an inazuma dish. (his line about the sky being fake really do be sus to me to this day 👀👀👀)

-> during dates where you two aren’t living together yet and when scaramouche always has to escort you to your dates, he’ll definitely not hesitate to throw a pebble against your bedroom window if you’re not going to answer the door after countless of pounding against it. he’ll throw every pebble he can get from the ground until it either breaks or you finally answered lol

-> like childe, scaramouche is hella busy. unless you’re in either snezhnaya or inazuma— then you two can be able to spend time. however if you live in other nations that isn’t one of the two, you’d have to get used to a long distance relationship. however if you’re not the kind to like a long distance relationship, then sorry to break it to you, that relationship might not work unless you and scaramouche are able to find a way.

-> breaks for him are rare, he’s a hardworking man and wants to live up to the tsaritsa’s expectations (even if he dislikes the archon). when he does go home to you, he makes sure that he’ll spend time with you every single moment and that they’re all precious memories.

-> he is lowkey caring but he will deny it will all of his life if you even mention it. oh you fell asleep on the couch while waiting for him to go home? wow would you look at that, the wind is so kind for putting a blanket over you and he somehow wasn’t there! oh my gosh you’re getting a cold and is coughing a lot? la signora is so nice for making some people from the fatui to offer medicine and it’s def not him, who has the upper hand in ordering them to do it!

-> don’t get me started on him spoiling you. he always writes letters to you and every letter he sent always has a small gift or a package sent with a scared-looking fatui member who just wants to go home. the gifts are either souvenirs from his travels or something that reminds him of you. either way, it’s always what you like.

-> you can’t convince me that not all of his letters are 60% him complaining about how his subordinates have some audacity to give him headaches and how he just wants to lowkey go home to you because of it (in reality, the both of you know he just misses you).

-> ik a lot of scaramouche simps really wanna try his hat out and i can already imagine you finding ways to get your hands on his hat without him noticing or not wearing it. if you somehow managed to get the prize, he’ll def try to get it from you and won’t hesitate to throw (harmless) threats until you finally give in and give it to him.

-> fighting with scaramouche is kind of rare given that he’s mostly away but when it does happen, it’s related to him being too harsh or his sudden announcement that he has to leave. your arguments never includes long distance relationship since it’s something you and scaramouche expected and are ready for. of course, scaramouche will treat it as if you’re the one making a big deal out of it— which is something that angers you and a disadvantage of dating him.

-> during those arguments, the way he acts depends on how serious it is. by the time you leave the room to get some space, he’ll give you all the space you need— though he couldn’t help but not ignore the harsh pangs he’s feeling from his chest.

-> scaramouche will def be the first to apologize because he feels guilty (the feeling of not being satisfied is strong whenever you leave and he hates it) and doesn’t want you to be mad anymore. unless the fight is truly your fault, he’ll wait till you apologize.

-> his favorite moments are always when he’s allowed to take you with him to his travels for a mission. he won’t admit, he’s very looking forward to show you around places privately and his ego will rise if you praise him for his intelligence on the land. though, those who try to interrupt his private moments with you just to tell scaramouche about something related to the fatui— they’ll face an even harsher treatment than normal.

-> nights with scaramouche are quiet. the moment scaramouche lays down on the bed and closes his eyes for a moment, he’s asleep. can’t blame him, he’s always exhausted from the fatui so he needs it. however, he does make sure you yourself get some sleep as well. he’ll make sure that you’re always beside him before he sleeps.

-> mornings with him are short. he’ll wake up first and immediately get ready for work while you’re on your bed still sleeping. scaramouche won’t be able to eat breakfast in your home and always buy food on his way there since he doesn’t have time to wait (and partially doesn’t wanna make you wake up just to cook for him). he makes sure to kiss your forehead and leave.

-> don’t ever bring up about his goodbye kisses, he will straight up take that secret to his grave. the moment you mention it, he’ll act like you killed someone. “me? kissing you on the forehead? are you sure you’re not dreaming at that time?” he would say while hiding his light reddened cheeks with his hat.

-> if you’re the type to wake up very early though, he’d definitely try to wake up at the same time as you and run with you in the morning if you do. though if you’re not the type to do morning runs, you’ll either cook for his lunch or get ready for work as well. he won’t admit it... but he likes your cooking. expect yourself to be the one to ask for a goodbye kiss cuz man’s going to act like he doesn’t want to do it.

-> as for fatui when you date scaramouche... they’ll probably find out fast. if you don’t work for the fatui, scaramouche will make sure you will never be involved with them. he knows how the fatui can be and will be mad if he finds out you came across to one of the harbingers.

-> overall, dating him is just wild.

-> scaramouche has to admit, liyue has outdone themselves on this one.

-> the two of you decided to attend the festival as your one year anniversary date and you did not regret trying to convince your man to come with you to liyue for the festival 24/7 ever since you heard childe talking about it to you.

-> while you were taking your sweet time by admiring the decorations around the harbor, scaramouche makes sure no one is following or planning to bother you two at the moment. thank goodness he didn’t have to worry about the millelith, given that they act like they don’t know him at all.

-> he makes sure that you’re having a great time. he’ll let you go buy whatever you want if you wish, it’s his gift i suppose. i’d think he’ll get way too competitive on theater mechanicus and will expect you to praise him whenever he wins.

-> scaramouche will take you to the most fanciest restaurant of the harbor, but if you want to go for another option— he’ll reluctantly accept that and let you buy food for the both of you. given that he mostly resides in inazuma, he’s definitely a skilled chopsticks user (unlike childe).

-> when it comes to making lanterns, it will take scaramouche to try and make a few lanterns before he finally does it right. he’ll gladly help you out if you still couldn’t get a hang of it (he’ll teach you in an “annoyed” way, but he means well).

-> i feel like he’ll take you somewhere not so crowded. man’s probably gonna make sure the whole pearl galley is just the two of you (and the staff) with the help of his mora and let you watch the lanterns from there. however should you not want to ruin someone’s night and force scaramouche somewhere that does not require any mora and is not crowded, then he’s fine with that too.

-> i think he’ll lowkey be interested in the stories presented by the storytellers around the harbor. he’s not invested but just earned enough of his attention to actually listen.

-> by the time the mingxiao lantern is about to be released, you two immediately head to your designated area and started writing your wishes.

-> his wish will probably be something related to successfulness.

-> when the lanterns are released with the mingxiao lantern, the two of you’d just watch in silence. you’d be pretty speechless from the beautiful scenery while scaramouche just watches in slight amusement.

-> the moment scaramouche glances at you, he’ll be surprised by you immediately hugging him and thanking him for taking you to the festival when you have the chance. man’s probably going to try and deny your hug for a moment until giving in and hug you back.

-> he might consider thanking childe when he comes back to snezhnaya.

[skellebonez]

The prompt you wrote with baby MK was extremely cute, but it also gave me an idea that wouldn't leave my brain: Imagine that same situation, but with Mei and Macaque. This is an open prompt, you can do with this whatever you like!

MK isn’t the only one who gets to have this kind of curse/ailment anymore! And I can’t resist putting this in the Cursed AU specifically, simply because I love the idea of this Macaque being confronted face first with the fact he actually cares. Even if it happens 200 times.

"What in the absolute hell are we supposed to do now?" Macaque groaned out, looking around the both of them for any indication of an escape that didn't involve him leaving Mei behind. Which was looking slimmer and slimmer if he didn’t want her to be in more physical danger than she already was. So. Stranded it was.

"I can still help!" Mei insisted, crossing her arms and standing her ground with a wide smirk. "I'm not powerless you know!"

"Never said you were, Jade," Macaque acknowledged instantly, tensing for a half moment when he realized how much he had to be attached to say something like that so fast. He forced himself to relax once again, no point in adding more fuel to the fire of worry that laid between them. "This just makes things complicated."

Oh yeah... complicated, that was one way to put it, definitely. If Macaque was being generous. And ignoring the fact that Mei wasn’t even 4 feet tall... and 4 years old. Physically.

Macaque was supposed to be on official mystic monkey business alone. Or at least that’s what he told Mei and MK to hopefully keep them out of his fur, but apparently Mei had other ideas. Like sneaking onto the private boat he had paid for to be taken to this secluded island far out into the ocean undetected, much farther than Mount Huaguo was. How she managed to sneak past security he may never know, now would he know how she managed to stay hidden for their 7 hour journey, and he would never admit that he was genuinely impressed.

He genuinely had not known she joined him until after the boat left, leaving them both stranded for at least the next 24 hours.

Horray.

Things had actually been going pretty ok, for the most part, after she had made herself known. In actuality Macaque was here to hunt down a specific item of his he had left behind on the island years ago, nothing really world shattering just... important to him. He knew that it would be safe here when he left it, the island as uninhabited and out of the way for humans to come to as it was.

But he also knew many powerful demons occasionally used this island as a hiding ground for when they were injured or planning something, against the owner’s wishes. And unfortunately one such demon just happened to be there on the one day of the while year he planned on coming.

That demon was deader than anything else on this island at the moment. Macaque hadn’t tried to kill him, not really, but they had lobbed something at him that Mei jumped in front of and he reacted on instinct.

If the thing had hit him in the first place they would probably be just fine. A decade and a half off his life span was nothing, unless it was set to a specific age in which... well, he was already able to do most of what he could do as a child so they still probably would have been ok. And hopefully she would be, if his memory served this particular demon was talented only in making temporary cursed and potions... mostly.

He hoped.

“Are you certain using your powers won’t hurt you?” Macaque asked, staring down at the short girl before him.

“I don’t think so?” Mei said with a shrug. “I mean, I’ve kinda had them for as long as I remember so... probably not.”

“Let’s not take that chance,” Macaque said with a sigh, looking around the beach. There was nothing for him to use, no emergency radio or boat. The best they had found on their entire search was a dinky little shelter. “It looks like our best bet would be to hunker down in that building and wait until mid day tomorrow for the boat to return. Provided there aren’t any more demons around we should be fine...”

“I can build a fire!” Mei proclaimed, running off before Macaque could even hope to catch her.

Something pulled in his chest, a protective thrum that he hadn’t felt since... since his journey with MK, but was becoming increasingly common the more time he spent training Mei. And he hadn’t felt that for so long he had forgotten what it felt like when it happened then, so unfamiliar with the desire to protect his old home and monkey friends of Mount Huaguo.

He would never admit even to himself that that feeling was “caring”. At least not yet.

“Jade, get back here!” Macaque yelled, moving to rush off after her before she came barreling back herself with armfuls of sticks and pine cones.

“I got everything we need!” She laughed and threw everything down in front of the building, looking around. “Did you see any rocks?”

“I know how to build a fire,” Macaque said softly, crossing his arms and shaking his head. “We probably don’t even need one.”

“Aw, but this is like a camping trip now!” Mei said, flailing her arms in the direction of the sticks. “I’ve even got marshmallows in my backpack!”

“Why did you bring m-never mind,” Macaque groaned, rubbing his face and sighing deeply. “OK. We’ll build a fire.”

~

It had gone better than hoped, actually. Macaque was able to start the fire with ease and Mei had apparently thought ahead enough that she’s brought the ingredients to make something called s’mores. Macaque had never seen them before, either they were new or they were a foreign treat, but MK had mentioned them to him on their journey and he had to admit... they were nice.

He just wished the gooey marshmallow didn’t stick to his fur so bad.

“And then MK did something that made the clone glow gold and explode into a bazillion pieces of hair!” Mei said, sweeping her arms out as she finisher her story. “And that’s how MK created and saved me from Porty Clone.”

“Sound like MK’s clones had quite the variety to them,” Macaque said with a smile. He’d relaxed over the evening, the normal sounds of the island confirming to him that it was just the two of them now and that at the very least they were safe from attack for the moment. “No wonder he’s careful not to overuse them.”

“Yeah, but Porty was pretty fun until he went overboard,” Mei replied, words cutting off with a yawn and a shiver as the wind picked up. “What time is it?”

Macaque looked up, watching the moon and the stars. “Late enough that it would be best to get some rest. We don’t want to miss the boat after all.”

“Hey, you only paid them half so they better come looking for you if you don’t show up!” She laughed out, making her way into the building as Macaque dumped sand on the fire to douse it. Just in case, don’t need the island catching fire with the wind. “ So uh... what are you going to tell them about... me?”

“That I came here looking for you,” he said plainly, shutting the door behind them. The moonlight shone through the windows of the shelter, giving them just enough light to see the one sad little cot it housed, right next to the massive stock of canned food they had also raided for dinner. He pulled the blanket on the cot back, grimacing at the dust on the blanket but satisfied with the condition of everything under it. He went outside to shake it out and make it usable again. “They know I was looking for something and that’s all they need to know.”

“What were you looking for anyway, Hot Topic?” Mei asked after a moment, watching Macaque make the bed again. “And how do you... know about this place?”

“... it’s mine, actually,” he said quietly, looking around the sad shelter. Unfurnished, cold and empty, with only the island itself and non-perishable food for survival. “I haven’t been back in a long time and most know to stay away, but sometimes demons don’t care. I was looking for something... unimportant.”

“It must have been important if you came all this way to find it,” Mei said, yawning again and rubbing her eyes.

“Ok, that’s enough of that!” Macaque exclaimed, hoping his glamor was hiding the embarrassed flush of his ears at her accusation. “Time for sleep!”

Without giving her a second to protest Macaque grabbed her around the waist with his tail and deposited her under the now clean enough blanket before forcibly tucking her in.

“Hey!” She protested, scowling at him once her arms were free. “I can’t sleep yet!”

“Why not?” Macaque chanced, wondering if he was going to regret this.

“You never told me a story.”

“... huh?”

“At the camp fire!” Mei insisted, leaning over the bed to grab her backpack and hold it to herself like it was a stuffed animal (which wasn’t hard since it was... basically a hollow stuffed dragon anyway). “I told you a bunch of stories about me and MK and Piggy and Tangy and Sandy and you didn’t tell me anything about you and the Monkey King! So spill one, I’m not going to sleep until you do!”

Macaque wanted to say no, wanted to glare at Mei until she just went to sleep through sheer exhaustion, wanted to walk out of the building and just stand guard at the door instead... but he kept looking into her teeny tiny 4 year old glower and he couldn’t help but sigh in defeat.

“Fine...” He said after a moment, moving to sit at the head of the bed. He watched as Mei smiled widely, making herself comfortable. “Let’s see... where should we begin... How about the time Wukong thought it would be a good idea to challenge the whole island to 1 on 1 combat for the title of king because he was bored, long before his proper training?”

“That sounds like him,” Mei said, smiling into her backpack with another yawn as she closed her eyes. “Yeah... tell that one.”

“OK, so this was only a little while after he jumped through the waterfall...”

And Macaque went on and on, giving much more detail than necessary, watching as Mei slowly relaxed until she eventually nodded off before the story even got close to the ending.

Which was... probably good for Macaque, to be honest.

He reached into his pocket, pulling out the item he had come here to find. It was simple, all things considered. A little carved crown, made from wood and preserved carefully through the years, far too small for his head and more of a bracelet. Wukong had made it for him when their own duel, the final one of the whole island, ended in a draw all those centuries ago. A show of how they could, maybe, rule the mountain together one day. He’d left it here so long ago that he worried it would have been destroyed or fallen apart over time.

Apparently Wukong knew a little something about what he was doing back then after all.

Macaque smiled, slipping it back into his pocket as he slid off the bed to sit against it, all six ears fluttering out to listen to the island around them. Just in case.

Mei slept mostly soundly behind him and if she started to whine in the beginnings of a nightmare and he turned around to soothe her and whisper that he was there and she was alright well... that would be something to talk about if she remembered it.