#and to play a role in preventing them from becoming involved in behaviour which could see them end up with a criminal record"

[theregrator]

Biography

Name: Pantalone Age: 36 Gender: Male Height: 185cm when he’s not crouching, 175cm when he’s crouching.

Background

i. Birth Pantalone was born into a poor family, as the youngest brother with five older sisters, who frequently received handouts from the clergy. Pantalone is born deaf and had poor communication with his family. Once Pantalone was old enough, his father urges him to join the clergy, and so he did.

After joining the clergy, Pantalone seldom visits his family, but made a point to visit them once every month. The clergy taught him sign language and lip reading, giving him the most basic and fundamental education. Eventually, Pantalone learned from them the healing arts and became a decent physician who offered his services to the people who came to their church for help.

Some time in between those years, war happened. When the church was destroyed, Pantalone, one of the (un)lucky ones who survived, was left stranded on his own. He spent 3 years in the wild, living off scraps and begging. Life eventually pushes him towards stealing and getting himself into the service of the rich. He grew envious of their lifestyle and realised how money made the world spin. It was the first time in his life he realised that what the church previously taught him could be used to earn money.

When he was still a clergyman, he had never used his skills for money.

ii. Living in the slums

Picking up his old craft once more, Pantalone sharpened his abilities and slowly offered his services to more noblemen, climbing the corporate ladder one step at a time. He’s seen the best of lifestyles and secretly craved for them, but unfortunately, his outstanding abilities drew the attention of the wrong people, which did not help with Pantalone’s arrogant and haughty demeanor. A few people joined forces to cast him out of their space, throwing him back into the slums.

With nowhere else to go, Pantalone had no choice but to work for crooks and the gentry of the slums. The slums are not pretty, especially at a time of war. From there Pantalone caught various diseases, recovered, caught them again, rinse and repeat. A few years later, this proved to be severely impacting his health. His health and body deteriorated, and he became chronically ill. He would fall sick at the briefest gust of wind or the slightest change in weather. His skin would bruise at the most gentle grip. He is perpetually coughing and is on long-term medication. He is incapable of physical combat. 

iii. Joining the Fatui The Fatui originally recruited him to be their physician, but Pantalone turned them down. Instead, he fought for a role to be involved in social order, and got it.

The Fatui in general is amused that Pantalone’s spiteful and arrogant behaviour hasn’t changed even though he’s physically handicapped in battle. Pantalone knew how to fight, but can’t ever since living in the slums and becoming... this. He is, however, still internally a violent person and did not shy away from threats and insults when someone apparently crosses him or pisses him off. His body is probably the only thing that prevents him from asserting (actually) harmful physical violence on people who he holds grudges against, Pantalone resorting to simply fantasizing himself avenging himself through playing various scenes in his head where he could actually choke someone with his bare hands, all the while behaving politely with them on the outside and speaking words that held daggers.

He is known for wearing a thick fur coat all the time in the Fatui and rarely leaves the Headquarters because of his chronical illness.

iv. Dottore’s mentor and partnership

(If your muse is Dottore and incompatible to this section, feel free to ignore it completely)

At some point, the Fatui recruited an outcast, Dottore, who was still a student back then, and assigned Pantalone as his mentor seeing how they’re both “doctors”. Pantalone tutored Dottore what he knew since joining the Fatui as instructed, although he’s constantly annoyed by Dottore’s rudeness and other behaviours towards himself, calling him a “brat”. Despite all that, however, Pantalone could not deny that Dottore is a rather gifted individual in their line of work and understood why Pierro recruited him. This is probably one of the only times Pantalone shows any positive behaviour: he truly passed on everything he knew to Dottore, until he’s got nothing left to teach him. Aside from business and economics, of course, which Dottore is uninterested in. After claiming that he has nothing left to tutor Dottore on, Dottore officially “graduates” from his mentorship and hence became partners. 

_______________________ Last revised version: 2023-04-25

[khanhvee]

Week 5: Anti-Cyberbullying: The Power of Digital Citizenship 

In today's hyper-connected world, the internet offers incredible opportunities for learning, communication, and creativity. Furthermore, we can connect with friends, share funny memes, watch cat videos, and keep memories. Yet, alongside its benefits, the online space can become a breeding ground for harmful behaviors like CYBERBULLYING. As digital citizens, we all have a role to play in creating safer and more respectful online environments. Combating cyberbullying is not just about reacting to negative behaviors. It is about fostering a culture of empathy, responsibility, and awareness that discourages harmful conduct in the first place. 

What is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets (Stopbullying 2021). It can occur through SMS, Text, and apps, or online in social media, forums, or gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content. This could be mean messages, nasty comments, or embarrassing someone by posting something about them without their permission. According to UNICEF (2021), it is repeated behaviours that aim at scaring, shaming, and angering those who are targeted.

Victims of cyberbullying often suffer from emotional distress, anxiety, and depression, with long-lasting consequences on their mental health (Greenwood 2023). It is not just kids and teenagers who are vulnerable, adults can also become targets (Galt 2019). The online world often makes people feel anonymous, leading them to say hurtful things they might not say in person. According to McCosker, Vivienne and Johns (2016), it is noted that up to 40% of all Internet users in the US have experienced one or more forms of online harassment. In light of this, educating people about digital citizenship promotes self-regulation and fosters positive online norms, which can significantly reduce the prevalence of cyberbullying. 

Why Digital Citizenship Matters?

The term “digital citizen” is defined by the Office of the eSafety Commissioner as individuals who engage positively in the online world by leveraging their technological skills and knowledge. Digital citizens not only participate in online interactions but also utilise digital technologies for several purposes, including communication, content creation, and consumption across diverse platforms. This active involvement engagement underscores the importance of responsible behaviour online. 

One key aspect of digital citizenship is its potential for prevention. When individuals, particularly children, and adolescents, are equipped with the skills for positive online behaviour, they are less likely to engage in cyberbullying themselves. A study by (Vlaanderen, Bevelander & Kleemans 2020) examined the effectiveness of an anti-cyberbullying intervention program for children aged 10 to 12 years. Their findings revealed that fostering positive social norms and enhancing perceived behavioural control among children increased their likelihood of intervening in cyberbullying situation (Vlaanderen, Bevelander & Kleemans 2020). This highlights the critical role of digital citizenship education in shaping responsible online behaviour from an early age.  Beyond prevention, digital citizenship empowers individuals to mitigate the impact of cyberbullying. By understanding internet safety, utilising privacy settings, and acquiring comprehensive technological knowledge, individuals can better protect themselves and others from online harassment. 

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, the internet is what we make it. We can either fill it with negativity and mean comments or use it as a place to build each other up. Cyberbullying does not have to be part of the online experience. By being a good digital citizen, spreading positivity, and standing up against bullies, we can all enjoy the internet without fear of trolls. So next time you are online, think before you type - and be the kind of digital citizen the internet deserves. 

Go spread some GOOD VIBES!!!!!!

Reference list

Galt, V 2019, ‘Cyber bullying isn’t just for kids; it highly affects a large number of adults around the world. As the world is more open and exposed to people’s social media personas, cyber bullying tends to become more common these days.’, Linkedin.com, viewed 12 October 2024, <https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/cyber-bullying-isnt-just-kids-adults-dont-know-any-better-von-galt/>.

Greenwood, M 2023, ‘The Impact of Cyberbullying on Mental Health’, News-Medical.net, viewed <https://www.news-medical.net/health/The-Impact-of-Cyberbullying-on-Mental-Health.aspx>.

McCosker, A, Vivienne, S & Johns, A 2016, Negotiating Digital Citizenship, Rowman & Littlefield.

Office of the eSafety Commissioner 2023, ‘Digital Citizenship | NSW Government’, www.nsw.gov.au, viewed <https://www.nsw.gov.au/education-and-training/digital-citizenship>.

Stopbullying 2021, ‘What is cyberbullying’, Stopbullying.gov, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, viewed <https://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/what-is-it>.

UNICEF 2021, ‘Cyberbullying: What is it and how to stop it’, www.unicef.org, viewed <https://www.unicef.org/vietnam/endviolence/cyberbullying-what-it-and-how-stop-it>.

Vlaanderen, A, Bevelander, KE & Kleemans, M 2020, ‘Empowering digital citizenship: An anti-cyberbullying intervention to increase children’s intentions to intervene on behalf of the victim’, Computers in Human Behavior, vol. 112, p. 106459.

[nulifelinecarerehab]

Role of The Best Nasha Mukti Kendra in Dehradun

If we talk of the practical world, no one wants to join the rehab centres. At least initially, nobody really wants to enter a treatment facility. Rehab can be a frightening concept for many addicts and their families but Nasha Mukti Kendra in Dehradun plays an important role in the deaddiction treatment process. The prospect of actually entering a rehabilitation facility can be just as overwhelming as the phrase itself, if not more so.

Going to rehab involves giving up the comforts of home and drugs and alcohol in order to overcome a substance abuse problem. It signifies requesting assistance. Most importantly, it entails change — habits, behaviours and perhaps even their interests and social circles. But as we are all aware, change may be beneficial.

Nasha Mukti Kendra in Dehradun, not only helps the person to come out of the loop of drugs but also makes a barrier for not entering that dark world again. They play a very essential role in the lives of individuals by making people healthier the way they were and making them close to their loved ones again.

Why do people avoid going to Nasha Mukti Kendra?

Even the best Nasha Mukti Kendra in Dehradun may not seem good to join for people who are addicted to drugs, since they may have their personal fears of the society. The following reasons may be considered by people for not joining one.

Denial

Many people believe that going to rehab is not essential for several reasons, one of which is denial. When we continuously deny truths that we know to be true, we have reached this phase. Addiction can generate a smoke and mirrors effect that obscures the level of harm that has been done. The use of alcohol or drugs as a coping method occurs frequently.

Humiliation

For those who are struggling with drug addiction, going to Nasha Mukti Kendra in Dehradun could seem awkward. The sensation of humiliation can be debilitating. Shame might make a person believe that they are not deserving of medical attention. It takes bravery to ask for help if you need assistance with addiction. Admitting that you need assistance with your addiction requires a strong character. Your future need not be shaped by your past.

Fear

Attending Nasha Mukti Kendra may feel awkward for those who are struggling. The feeling of embarrassment can be crippling. Someone who feels ashamed could think they don’t need medical care. Asking for aid when you need it to overcome addiction requires courage. A strong character is necessary to admit that you need help with your addiction. Your history doesn’t have to determine your future.

Advantages of Joining a Nasha Mukti Kendra in Dehradun

Every person needs assistance if drug abuse has a detrimental impact on their lives and the lives of those around them. You can receive medical support to stop using substances and begin constructing or restarting a healthy life by seeking treatment at a drug rehabilitation clinic because addiction is a treatable disease.

The disorder of alcohol use cannot be cured, but it can be skillfully managed. One of the most popular forms of therapy for beating addiction is joining Nasha Mukti Kendra in Dehradun since they serve various benefits.

Daily Structured Routine

The patient has a fantastic daily schedule at the Nasha Mukti Kendra in Dehradun that is impossible to keep elsewhere. That indicates that they have patient-specific programmes that keep them occupied with a variety of tasks and prevent them from having time to consider using medicines. They become more energetic and productive as a result. These exercises aid patients in overcoming their addiction and coping with it.

Safe environment

At the Nasha Mukti Kendra, the patients reside in a setting that is both secure and encouraging. The individuals that are near the patients are sympathetic and nonjudgmental. There are many different programmes, including inpatient and outpatient ones, that aid individual in developing their peer support system and support network, both of which are crucial for receiving the proper treatment.

No access to drugs

The patient in inpatient treatment does not have access to any addictives or other consumable substances. They won’t have any opportunity of obtaining the drug from anywhere if they are permitted to leave the house because they would be closely watched, which allows them to avoid thinking about it.

Medical Support

Many individuals experience both physical and psychological withdrawal when they stop taking the medication. The psychological withdrawal can endure for many months and is frequently dangerous and lethal. The patient is continuously monitored by doctors working in the rehab facilities.

Why is self-treating for Deaddiction, not a good idea?

Many people do not wish to join the rehab centres not because they do not know the benefits but because they assume they can heal themselves on their own. Treating self when into addictive substances is never a good deal. Although self-medication may provide some temporary relief, over time it just makes your problems worse. Regular self-medication can result in addiction, a worsening of mood disorders, and a rise in health issues regardless of whether you turn to alcohol, illegal drugs, prescription medications, or food or smokes. Your relationships at home, work, and school may also suffer.

How to choose the best Nasha Mukti Kendra?

When you are surfing the internet with the best Nasha Mukti Kendra near me, you need to stick to certain points before you finally join one. The following are the key area one needs to keep in mind before joining any Nasha Mukti Kendra in Dehradun.

Treatment Types

There are many different sorts of therapy accessible for drug rehab. Some of them involve hospitalisation, some involve outpatient treatment, and some include a combination of both. There is no superior form of care over any other, but there may be one that is more suited to your needs. You must look for a therapy facility that can accommodate your preference.

Cost

The simple fact is that some treatment centres cost more than others. You should look for one that is within your budget in order to find the one that is ideal for you.

The last thing you want when you leave rehab is to be drowning in debt. At a time when you should be attempting to lower your stress, doing that will just make your already high level of tension worse. Create a list of treatment facilities that meet your budget before choosing one. Avoid getting yourself into financial trouble.

Staff

During rehabilitation, the staff you work with can have a significant impact on your care. As a result, before choosing a recovery centre, you should get a sense of the staff. Check to determine if there are adequate personnel at the centre first. Additionally, you need to accurately identify your collaborators. In drug recovery centres, psychologists, dietitians, nurses, and doctors are all crucial team members. Without their assistance, you’ll be missing out on some really valuable resources.

Duration

Inquire about the length of the course of treatment as well. Consider the possibility that you won’t be able to take a month off of work. The course of your treatment must match the events in the rest of your life.

The length of treatment that is ideal for you will depend on your comfort levels and your ability to manage your duties. The very last thing you want is to find yourself unable to take advantage of the entire range of available treatments. You still need to maintain your life while receiving treatment.

Process of de-addiction at NuLifeLineCare Nasha Mukti Kendra

The process may start after joining the rehab centre but in the practical world, once you reach out for help that is the very first step in the process since it takes courage to go and speak your heart out for help to the professionals. Once you finally join the NuLifeLineCare Nasha Mukti Kendra in Dehradun these are the basic steps involved in the treatment program that are followed in the process.

Commencement of treatment

In the first few days and hours of your treatment at the Nasha Mukti Kendra, you’ll probably feel torn about permanently giving up your drug of choice and you could think your problem with substance misuse is not as severe as others. Be wary of this way of thinking. Ambivalence and denial may provide your hardest challenges in the early stages of your recovery. The goal of treatment at this point is to help the patient decide to pursue treatment and accept abstinence as the eventual goal.

Early Abstention

You will move on to the second stage of rehab, known as early abstinence, once you have decided to continue treatment for your substance abuse issue. Early alcohol abstinence is strongly connected with successful treatment outcomes. Due to a variety of causes, this period may be the most difficult to manage such as withdrawal symptoms and cravings for addictives. Your certified addiction counsellor will start teaching you the coping mechanisms you need to maintain a clean lifestyle while you are still in the early stages of abstinence. Throughout your recuperation, you will benefit from the skills you learn now.

Maintaining abstinence

You will pass from the first stage of recovery — early abstinence — to the third stage — maintaining abstinence — after approximately 90 days of uninterrupted abstinence. If your rehab programme began with residential treatment, you will now transition to the ongoing or follow-up counselling phase on an outpatient basis.

Naturally, maintaining abstinence by preventing relapse is a goal of this stage of therapy. You will become familiar with the precursors to relapses and their warning indications. You will learn how to apply the skills you acquired during your early abstinence to other aspects of your life at this stage of your rehabilitation as well, enabling you to maintain a really sober way of life.

Recovery

You will enter the fourth and final stage of your rehab — advanced recovery — after around five years of sobriety. At this point, you put all the knowledge and abilities you have gained from your rehab counselling to use by using them to live a satisfying, fulfilling life.

The Final Words

For alcohol therapy and recovery to be successful, a person must be committed and make adjustments in many areas of their life. Using these four stages of treatment, people with alcohol use disorders can learn about the benefits of recovery, find the motivation to change their behaviour, and pick up new skills that will help them succeed in the long run. Choosing the best Nasha Mukti Kendra in order to successfully come out of the addiction is a very crucial step. It’s never too late to join NuLifeLineCare Nasha Mukti Kendra in Dehradun, at the end of the day it’s for your benefit only. The world may judge you but the world doesn’t know what you are suffering from. Join NuLifeLineCare, the best Nasha Mukti Kendra today and live a better life.

Contact the centre today to learn more about their treatment program.

Call us on: +91–8958305058

Or visit: https://nulifelinecare.org/

[bdminternational]

Promoting Healthy Eating Habits in School: Teaching Nutrition and Encouraging Balanced Meals

The importance of healthy eating habits cannot be overstated, especially in today's fast-paced world where processed foods and sugary snacks often take precedence over nutritious meals. In India, where a diverse range of culinary traditions thrives, instilling healthy eating habits from a young age is important to combat rising rates of diet-related health issues. Schools play a pivotal role in shaping children's behaviours and attitudes, making them an ideal setting for promoting nutrition education and encouraging balanced meals. The best school in Kolkata emphasizes the significance of promoting healthy eating habits in school, the role of nutrition education, and strategies to encourage students to adopt balanced meal choices.

The Growing Concern: Diet-Related Health Issues in India

In recent years, India has witnessed a disturbing increase in diet-related health issues such as obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases. These issues are often linked to poor dietary choices, which include excessive consumption of unhealthy fats, sugars, and processed foods. The problem is exacerbated by changing lifestyles, urbanization, and the availability of convenience foods. While these challenges are daunting, they also present an opportunity for top CBSE schools Kolkata to become agents of change by fostering healthy eating habits in their students.

The Role of Schools in Promoting Healthy Eating Habits

Schools are more than just centres of academic learning; they also serve as platforms for imparting life skills, including the importance of making healthy choices. Educating children about nutrition and fostering a positive relationship with food can have a lasting impact on their overall well-being. By promoting healthy eating habits, the English medium schools near Garia empowers students to make informed decisions about their diet, both now and in the future.

Nutrition Education: The Foundation for Healthy Choices

At the heart of promoting healthy eating habits in schools is nutrition education. Incorporating nutrition education into the curriculum equips students from the best school in Kolkata with the knowledge and skills needed to understand the nutritional value of foods, interpret food labels, and distinguish between healthy and unhealthy options. Through engaging and age-appropriate lessons, students can learn about the essential nutrients their bodies require and how these nutrients contribute to their growth, development, and overall health.

Introducing nutrition education in schools also addresses myths and misconceptions surrounding food. For instance, the concept of "good" and "bad" foods can be replaced with an emphasis on moderation and balance. This helps prevent the development of unhealthy attitudes towards certain foods and encourages students to approach eating in a holistic and mindful manner.

Strategies for Encouraging Balanced Meals

Incorporating nutrition education into the curriculum is a significant step, but it must be complemented by practical strategies that encourage students to choose balanced meals. Here are some effective approaches:

Nutrition-Focused Activities: Organize cooking classes, gardening projects, and interactive workshops that allow students to connect with their food. Teaching them how to prepare simple, nutritious meals empowers them to make healthier choices even outside of school.

Healthy Cafeteria Options: Collaborate with school cafeterias to offer a variety of wholesome, nutrient-dense meals. Ensure that these options are appealing, culturally diverse, and affordably priced to encourage students to opt for balanced meals.

Nutrition Campaigns and Challenges: Launch fun and engaging nutrition campaigns or challenges that highlight the benefits of balanced eating. This could involve creating posters, conducting taste tests, or organizing competitions centred around nutritious foods.

Peer Education: Empower students to become nutrition ambassadors. Peer-led initiatives, such as nutrition clubs, can provide a platform for students to share their knowledge and enthusiasm for healthy eating with their peers.

Incorporate Traditional Foods: Celebrate India's rich culinary heritage by incorporating traditional and regional foods into school meals. This not only adds diversity to the diet but also promotes an appreciation for local ingredients and cooking techniques.

Parental Involvement: Extend the promotion of healthy eating habits beyond the school gates by involving parents. Host workshops, seminars, or cooking demonstrations that educate parents about nutrition and empower them to create balanced meals at home.

Collaborations with Health Professionals: Partner with nutritionists, dietitians, and healthcare experts to provide guidance and support in promoting healthy eating habits. Their expertise can enhance the effectiveness of nutrition education initiatives.

Measuring Impact and Ensuring Sustainability

To gauge the effectiveness of efforts to promote healthy eating habits in schools, it is essential to establish measurable goals and regularly assess progress. This can be done through surveys, tracking cafeteria choices, monitoring changes in student health indicators, and seeking feedback from students, parents, and teachers. Adjustments can be made based on the results to ensure that initiatives remain relevant and impactful.

Moreover, sustainability is key. The top CBSE schools Kolkata integrate nutrition education and healthy eating initiatives into the school's long-term plans and policies. By embedding these practices into the school culture, future generations of students can continue to benefit from a holistic approach to nutrition and well-being.

Promoting healthy eating habits in Indian schools is a multifaceted endeavour that requires the collective efforts of educators, parents, healthcare professionals, and policymakers. By imparting nutrition education, fostering a positive relationship with food, and implementing practical strategies, one of the best English medium schools near Garia empowers students to make informed and balanced food choices. As these young learners grow into responsible adults, they will carry forward the valuable lessons learned in school, contributing to a healthier and more vibrant India.

[squishyteri]

So, this is update after ep 7. I still think Top, Tee and Por are the main culprits in this (Por became the king of assholes in this ep, I hate him sm, like man's dead and I want to kill him again). Although it seems Tee started being nice, but I don't really trust him at this point, might be just an act. But if there was, by any chance, a beginning of change of Tee's character, it might explain how him and White got together. (he started changing, then caused Non's death most likely and that made him want to be a better person, at least a little, and be good to White, but idk, I don't really trust Tee). Jin was still kind to Non. Although he did almost slip with the video. He ended up not posting it, but how did it get out? (Here I would believe that Fluke didn't do it, like when Fluke ever did something directly? Though he was acting suspiciously, that's true.) I still stand for Jin though, it seems he didn't do anything to Non. But I'm starting to think that he feels guilty for not protecting him more, preventing whatever happened to him. That's why he acts calmer than others in present time. He probably feels like he deserves all of that.

I'm just worried that because of his broken heart, he might do something bad to Non in the end. He did see the ghost after all. I don't think he would do anything way too bad, like he still wasn't affected that much and definitely doesn't act that guilty, but I'm still worried. For Phee. Oh, my poor boy. If anyone is behind the killing, it's most likely him. He loved Non deeply, but lost him. First because of Keng, then because of the friend group. And he knows the reason Non got close to Keng is because of the group, so he has every reason to get his revenge on them. But he also must feel so guilty. It seems that his very last words to Non, person he loved so much, were: "Get lost and die." which is what ultimately happened. I can't even imagine what he must be feeling. No matter what Non did, Phee loved him so much, so having this be his last words to him must be eating him ever since Non disappeared.

(By the way, if you're wondering just as me, no, present time Phee is not wearing the red couple bracelet, wonder if it's just to cover up his connection to Non, or if there's other reason. Even though Non cheated on him, he still loved him and I would assume he would keep the bracelet, especially since the guilt about his last words he most likely has)

(and I believe none of those bullies would notice that Phee has the same bracelet as Non was wearing, dudes probably didn't even notice that Non was wearing one, only person who could notice would be Jin, who liked Non and might notice such details about him)

(so yeah, I do wonder)

What again caught my eye is my theory slowly becoming the truth. That being Jin knowing who Phee is. In this ep he saw Non and Phee together. It's unclear if he saw his face, but it's possible that present Jin knows that Phee was Non's boyfriend.

I also wonder if the guilt of not protecting Non (and possibly being mean to him in their last conversation) is what got them together.

We didn't get any hints to White and Tan, so my thoughts about them are still the same.

Now Keng is definitely an asshole, no doubt, using his authority to get Non like this ... big bad. But he still tried to help Non solve the issue with the horse account business. As much as I'm disgusted by his behaviour, I think he never meant to do anything bad to Non (at least not deliberately) and if he's involved with present time events, definitely because he wants to make things right (by revenging Non).

We got introduced to two more characters that might play some role in the future. That being Phee's dad, who is a police officer and Keng's friend and journalist Joy. I wonder if they're involved or what their role might be.

Finally, from the next ep preview, it's clear we're getting into big finale of the flashbacks (finally, I love getting to know the lore, but this is way too long). It seems that they'll drive Non out of his mind (maybe because he won't take his medication?) and something will happen because of that (unless it's just Non playing his role as a murderer). And it's clear that Tee was the one who brought the knife (possible murder weapon?).

Now I just wonder what really happened to Non.

What I'm worried about mostly is how will I view the present time events from this point (and after the next episode). Because there will be at least four episodes of watching this group trying to survive, out of which most of us want two gone asap (Tee, Top), one gone right after them (Fluke), one who we believe is actually behind the murders (Phee), one we want to slap to make him less annoying and more likeable (White, like he's not bad, but he was just super annoying for me to watch, but I want him to get it together and live), one we feel indifferent about (Tan, like we know nothing about this guy, like I'm so neutral about him atm) and one most of us want to survive for sure (Jin).

I'm really worried that now the scary aspect of me being worried about some characters will be gone and it will ruin the immersion for me. Like if there will be scary suspenseful scene involving Top and the murderer, I would just be like "whatevs, just die" and idk if that's the way one should feel watching horror scenes.

Well, we'll see I guess.

Thank you for reading all this blabbering all the way here.

Have a lovely day!

DFF theory time!

So, I've been thinking a little bit and I want to dump my thoughts about DFF so far (after ep 6).

Generally, I think that Tee and Top definitely did something. Those two were acting the most suspicious when it comes to the whole thing about Non. They were also the most frightened. And they were the ones bullying Non the most (along with Por).

We didn't see much about Por, but I think he was involved too (from what he was trying to say before dying). But it's hard to tell, because we didn't really see his reaction to any events (expect him getting frightened of the masked man so much he ran into a branch ... I'm sorry, I still think it's funny that he basically ended himself, like even the killer must have been like "wow, he made it wayyy to easy for me wtf") but he was very scared about watching the tape, so I assume he did something directly, just as Tee and Top.

Fluke was involved, but not directly. Fluke seems way calmer than Tee and Top. The reason why he's acting like he is, is because he is worried about his future as a doctor. I'm pretty sure he knows exactly what had happened, but kept his mouth shut to keep himself out of the trouble.

Plus from the flashback eps so far, Fluke wasn't directly bullying Non, he wasn't stopping the others and was definitely on their side, but he himself didn't really do anything to Non. That makes me think, he just cares about himself at the end of the day and as long as he is not affected, he doesn't care.

Jin is big question mark right now. It's clear he liked Non and never did anything bad to him. I believe he knows what others did, maybe wasn't directly involved, but knows something.

Either that, or I was thinking he perhaps doesn't know that much. He was acting calmly most of the time, wasn't scared that much.

So I'm thinking:

A) he's directly involved in the killing

B) he's not involved but knows he's safe for some reason

C) he doesn't really know what exactly happened to Non and has no reason to be scared

I really wonder. And I really wonder what his connection to Phee really is.

That gets me to Phee himself. He was Non's lover. So he has a huge motive to get his revenge. But again big question mark.

I also think it's possible that Phee is not involved, but only joined the group to find out what happened to Non. That's why he was asking a lot of questions and wanted to see the tape/video.

It's also possible that Phee is involved somehow.

We probably learn this in the next ep, but I wonder if Jin and Phee knew each other before the Non disappearence. There are some hints that either one or the other is involved, but not both (they were alone for quite some time, never talked about anything sus, which they probably would since it would be ideal time to plan something more).

I think they might have met before Non disappeared, found comfort in each other, most likely really fell for each other (Jin was the one who wanted to get their thing further, Phee said no originally, but during the coffin scene, the way he was looking at Jin, I think there are some feelings, plus the way he told Jinn "I will protect you" like don't tell me he doesn't like him at leat a little bit) and Jin might have helped Phee get into the group. Here it would made sense that Jin wouldn't know what exactly happened and he would get Phee in to help him find out the truth.

And if one is involved with the killing, the other just doesn't know.

They both could be calm just for the reason they know they didn't do anything to Non.

For remaining two characters, White and Tan.

White doesn't seem sus from what we seen, however in one of the trailers, he was wearing the same uniform as Phee in the flashback, so probably him and Phee knew each other prior to joining the friend group? But so far White wasn't really doing anything sus, so it's really a wild guess right now. I just want to see how had he ended up with Tee, if it wasn't his secret plan, because how would such a sweet guy fell for arsehole like Tee?

Only thing that's kind of big question mark is the fact that White was affected by the ghost thing too. Like really strongly. So one wonders what his involvement really is. (Tan and Phee weren't affected, which makes sense as they are not involved at all and did not harm Non).

Tan is a mystery. We haven't learned much about him yet. I wonder if there will be some great reveal about him. He's the most likely candidate to actually be New, Non's brother, but honestly, he didn't do anything sus to make me believe he's involved. Except a little itch during Top's disapperance but I'll talk about that a little later.

Now I want to talk about something I probably haven't seen anyone talk about.

The posibility that none of the boys is involved directly. I'm not saying they couldn't know what's going on, but none of them being the killer.

How I got to it? Simply, that one of them is behind it was my first thought when Por got hurt and someone had to be there when he got injured (we got confirmed that someone cut his arms and then brought the knife inside, plus he clearly saw the masked man). First thing, that can tell who could have done it, is who is missing an alibi. So where was everyone when Por got hurt?

Tee and White were together doing couple stuff.

Phee and Jin were together doing fwb stuff.

Top, Fluke and Tan were together in the living room waiting for Por to get others (they said they sent him to bring other boys to the living room).

See? All of them have alibi for that time. And if one of them was alone, they would clearly questioned it. (since they were looking for Por and wondered if anyone saw him).

For Top's disappearance, all of them were in the house, only Tan was with Top. That obviously means that Tan could do something to Top. But they still definitely saw the masked man before Top crashed the bike. Yes, Tan could've moved Top, drug him (I prefer the explanation that he was drugged, rather than being possessed as some people are suggesting) and then pretend he disappeared when he was unconscious, but he couldn't have appeared as the masked man and definitely couldn't have ensured that Top will crash the bike at such a convenient spot, close to the shrine (or whatever that builidng is).

So that makes me think that the killer is some ninth person (which is literally the premise of the show) with possibilty of Jin or Phee knowing what's going on (especially since the killer had the opportunity to get them in the coffin, but just left them be). The ninth person could be New (Non's brother) or maybe Keng (the teacher, he's defo acting sus and I wouldn't be surprised if he was behind something sketchy as well) or even someone else they just asked for help (I wouldn't be surprised, they are not afraid of plottwists in this drama, hell I wouldn't be shocked if Non is actually alive and it would be him all the time).

What is clear is that it has to be someone familiar with the script Non wrote (masked man, similarity of attacks, connection to the cult) and someone who knows that Por, Top, Tee and Fluke did something to Non, while also knowing that Phee, Jin, Tan and White (possibly?) are not involved.

And by the way, them seeing the ghost and seemingly supernatural stuff could be just case of something called "mass hysteria". Basically group of people being scared/affected by something they all believe it's true to the point of having the same hallucinations/visions.

I'm sorry for making this long and blabbering this much. I don't even think anything of this might be true 😅

(I will probably update this after each episode from now on, because why not actually).

Thank you for reading this, if by any chance you got all the way here.

Have a lovely day!

[twsttheory]

Twisted Wonderland Dorm Leaders -- Seven Social Sins

⚠️Contains Chapter 5 Spoilers⚠️

Villains in Disney classics are known to possess questionable morals, and because of that, they are deemed evil. In twisted wonderland, the characters are inspired by these villains. Although it doesn't mean that they are entirely evil, there is no doubt that the shady octopus man does shady business, and there is no doubt that our favorite snake boy spits venom (he doesn't but still).

Anyways, villains are known to be quirky, in a bad way. As the title suggests, they are the people that society has taught us to stay away from. In the school of villainous kids, the dorm leaders play most of the important toles in the story. Each one represent a spectrum of social nuh uhs.

Riddle Rosehearts: Politics without Principle (Sorry, honey for the uncool picture but he do go UGIII)

I mean. "In this dormitory, I am rule. The answer should always be "Yes dorm head!"".  Normally, politics without principle involves common folk like us picking a representative to stand for us, but we still call the politicians corrupt. In the heart dorm, everyone is part of a system that involves weird rules and an angry goldfish for a leader. They all complain about Riddle's behaviour, but none of them really do anything about it until the loud and obnoxious hurricane of a boy came party crashing.

Leona Kingscholar: Wealth Without Work.

As it suggests, this implies getting something by doing absolutely nothing. Wants to beat Malleus by cheating? Yessir. Creates a dirty plan involving dirty work? Yessir. Doesn't even do the dirty work himself? YESSIR. This is because of the despair that stems from his position as second son. Once there is an opportunity, he sure as heck will take the opportunity.

Azul Ashengrotto: Commerce Without Morality

Kontrak go brrr. Azul is as shady as he is hardworking. And resourceful too! Lack of employees? ANEMONIES, JADE, ANEMONIES! Lack of funds? THERE IS NO SUCH LACK OF FUNDS NOW BUY ME THE MR.S DRINK BRAND, FLOYD. Sells funny gadgets in beans day? Yup. Uses Floyd juice to make poor Vil's toner? (I'll sell my soul to you though 👀.. or not).

Kalim Al-Asim: Pleasure Without Conscience

Our sweet baby boy is born into a rich family already. With that amount of gold coins, he can pay all the students' college debt. Of course there would be nothing worrying that crosses his pure mind. Which is exactly why he fails to realize that Jamil is suffering. His everyday happiness and easily earned success costs Jamil his freedom and potential. He doesn't mean to though poor boy is a little dense s'all. 😔

⚠️Chapter 5 Spoilers⚠️

Vil Shoenheit: Knowledge Without Character (Yes Queen eat that cake you deserve it)

Vil defintely focuses a lot on his presentation, how others perceive him. He deems beauty to be power, and works hard to hone it to perfection. However, he is frustrated at the fact that Neige has more time in the spotlight. It's not your fault Vil. We all agree that he is gorgeous, but the media of twisted wonderland only sees what he shows and compares the final product with that of Neige's, disregarding the effort he has put into his craft.

Idia Shroud: Science Without Humanity

Well we haven't seen Chapter 6 yet, but the fire man is known to be really good at engineering. Perhaps it is this talent that has caused Ortho to be what he is. We shall see.

Malleus Draconia: Religion Without Sacrifice.

You can't tell me that horny boy ain't got a cult. He doesn't, but the DiaCast do be giving out cult vibes, especially Sebek. Like Idia, we do not know exactly what role Diasomnia will be playing in the storyline, but rather than religion, I think that the correct term for thus would be "faith". Faith in their Prince, or Faith in humanity. I also think that it would involve Sebek and a turmoil between his fey and human side, which requires him to either betray his master, or side with him.

Yes, the boys each have their own problems, but it does not mean that they are evil. Twisted Wonderland is a game full of juxtaposition between light and dark, hard work and talent, and many more. As the opening said, "being a little bad could not hurt". Perhaps the story would focus on the idea that there is no one who is completely black or white. Rather, we, lile the characters are all different shades of grey,  and should learn to accept it instead of succumbing to a "bad ending".  We as the director are have probably been given the task of preventing rhe boys from falling into complete darkeness (blot)  so that they will all succeed and become great mages one day.

[awed-frog]

You should look at the twin project re: losing weight. If two people who are born genetically identical can be 2 vastly different weights while on the exact same diet and exercise regime surely that tells you something else is going on 🤔

I’m not exactly sure what study you are referring to, and I’m not an expert in this field anyway, but here is what I think.

1) There is no such thing as ‘exact same diet and exercise’. People are notoriously bad at estimating, or even counting, their calories - studies show that people who’re asked to keep a food diary underreport their daily calories by as much as 45% (and overestimate their physical activity by 51%!). Plus, exercise levels are difficult to measure: sure, you may go to a spin class with your friends, but the level of effort (as measured by your heart rate) could be different, and what you do in the other 23 hours of your day counts much, much more. Unless you’re a pro athelete, exercise burns off a negligible part of what you’re eating.

2) As for twins: one study I couldn’t access was from 1986; another one, that considered hundreds of twins (half of which had grown up in different households) is from 1990. That’s more or less prehistory scientifically speaking. Plus, the second one was about children who’d been forcibly removed from their parents and separated from their twin because their families were poor. I hope they accounted for trauma, because that seems horrific.

As for more recent stuff:

3) Quote from one Finnish study from 2012: “Based on interviews of these twins, there is an indication that both the conscious efforts to prevent weight gain in the lean and the more unhealthy lifestyle in the obese co-twins explains the weight disparities, which appeared at 18 years of age, at a time when environmental influences may also start to diverge as the young adults move out of their parental home and establish more individualistic life styles. The twins themselves pointed out environmental factors in young adulthood such as living alone, irregularity of student life, sedentary work, getting a driver's license (at age 18 in Finland), and marital and societal relationships as provocateurs of weight gain as compared with more regular eating and physical activity habits in childhood.”

4) Quote from a Danish study from 2010: “The evidence for genetic influence on anthropometry has previously been established and has been estimated to be 60-70% based on twin studies. These inter-individual differences can, however, not explain the increase in obesity prevalence during the past 70 years. Environmental factors must therefore play an important role in the obesity epidemic.”

5) Furthermore, we do know from twin studies on cancer - a different disease, but a very aggressive one - that the rate of cancer in adopted children si aligned with their adoptive - not their biological - parents’. This is not surprinsing, considering we now know up to 70% of cancers are actually caused by lifestyle and behaviour, not genetics. In the case of cancer, all of us get ‘faulty’ cells all the time, but very often they can be ‘silenced’ by our bodies if we adopt the right reflexes. 

(And please note I am NOT victim-blaming here: one big problem in our society is that many people are forced into an unhealthy lifestyle, such as dangerous pesticides or additive in foods, dangerous working conditions, food deserts, limited availability of fresh fruits and veggies, stress and overwork, access to a kitchen, little to no preventative healthcare - the list goes on.)

6) One strong indication that genetics is not that relevant when it comes to obesity are the rates of obesity in Japan (2% to 3%) and among 3rd generation Japanese-Americans (23%). As one recent study puts it, “Research has shown that compared to their native-born cohorts, newly arrived immigrants have better health, but their health declines the longer they remain in the U.S. and become more acculturated [...] The obesity rate seems to increase the longer Asian immigrants remain in the U.S.”

7) Finally, a study from last year shows that the BMI of dogs is correlated to the BMI of their owners: obese people are more likely to have obese dogs, and this is clearly not genetic.

So look - it’s always dangerous to say black and white things when it comes to science, because a) the matters involved are generally beyond complicated and b) we’re finding out new stuff at breakneck speed, but I don’t understand why so many people seem hellbent in complicating this issue. Obesity - as in, too much fat on your body - is always caused by caloric imbalance. In rare cases, people have health problems or take medication which causes them to be constantly hungry and/or store fat badly, and that complicates the issue, but for the vast majority of us, that’s not the case. We simply eat a lot more than we should, and we mostly eat crap. I don’t know how old you are, but I saw the change very clearly. Back when I was a child

nobody snacked (children would get a bread roll, a small chocolate bar, a yogurt or a piece of fruit around 4pm, but adults usually didn’t)

nobody drank soft drinks (my local shop only stored Coke, which we used to beg for but was only allowed in special occasions)

dessert and big meals were also more of a weekend habit

fast food wasn’t a thing (the first kebab place opened in my town when I was 17; the first McDonald’s, when I was 25)

if you forgot your packed lunch your only options were a restaurant, a chocolate bar from a kiosk or a bread roll with ham from the butcher’s

walking and biking places was pretty much the norm for a lot of people, as the bus system was inefficient and families tended to have one car (I have vivid memories of biking home 3 miles at 10pm under the rain after basketball practice, it was hellish but normal)

meals were 90% cooked at home using fresh ingredients (non-food available in the shops was limited to one type of crisps, frozen chips, chicken nuggets and a variety of weird-looking candy)

shopping malls didn’t exist (the first one in my region opened when I was 14), so people spent a lot more time outdoor during the weekend - going to the pool, the beach or the mountains, or playing football, tennis and basketball in the local fields and playgrounds.

Compare this to what’s going on now? You go out, and most people are eating or drinking something - whatever the time of day. Children, in particular, are constant snackers, and they snack on horrific things. Supermarkets are 90% non-food - my local shop has 25 different types of soft drinks, and 2 types of greens. We all work longer hours, with longer commutes, for less money, so there’s less time to cook (and less know-how anyway).  Fast food outlets are everywhere and open around the clock (want a kebab with double fries at 9 in the morning or 3 in the afternoon? in the 90s, you would have been fucked - just munch on your brown banana and wait for dinner!). And worst of all, you’re constantly, relentlessly drowning in reminders you should eat more more more, while being surrounded by endless advice on how to drop 20 pounds in 20 days ‘without dieting or exercising!’. It’s a catastrophic social experiment, and the result are obvious - and very profitable. 

Because everyone is making money here. The fast food market size was valued at $647.7 billion in 2019 and is estimated to reach $931.7 billion by 2027. The weight loss market is projected to grow from $175.94 billion in 2017 to $245.51 billion by 2022. The profits of drugs to treat diabetes almost tripled in 10 years, going from $27 billion to $78 billion. Investors are rushing towards potential new drugs, snake oil of all kinds and bariatric equipment companies (as one investment website helpfully puts it, “The increasing rate of obesity among children provides significant opportunities for growth of this market.”).

So the bottom line is, sure - some people have always been fatter than others, and that is probably genetics (some of us get hungrier; we react to stress by comfort eating; we like food more). But the reason why obesity rates are skyrocketing has nothing to do with personal preference or genetic inclinations - it is rooted in merciless capitalism and worsening inequalities. We should stop finding excuses or - God forbid - celebrating fatness and demand better policies and better healthcare before it’s too late.

[chaoswillfallrpg]

REMUS LUPIN is TWENTY-TWO YEARS OLD and a CRIME SCENE PHOTOGRAPHER in THE DEPARTMENT OF MAGICAL LAW ENFORCEMENT at THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC.  He looks remarkably like JOE KEERY and considers himself aligned with THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX. He is currently OPEN.

→ OVERVIEW: 

tw: bodily harm

The kindest of his friends with a gentle warmth in his heart, Remus Lupin is a difficult friend to make though he is a firm one. Raised in the Welsh city of Cardiff, Remus can’t remember much of his life before the pivotal moment which changed it forever. The only son of insurance officer HOPE HOWELL and senior advisor on magical creatures for The Ministry of Magic LYALL LUPIN, Remus’ earlier days were described by his parents as simple but loving. When he was first born his father mostly cared for him, allowing Hope to return to work a few days a week which became somewhat impossible during Remus’ later years until he attended Hogwarts. Lyall hadn’t yet taken his job at The Ministry, instead spending his time writing and researching for his latest book he had been writing during Hope’s pregnancy. Though Remus can’t remember most of it his younger years consisted of sitting with his father each day listening to the adventures of Lyall Lupin. Favourite tales included how he rescued his mother from a Boggart to his brief move into the Cardiff countryside to study troublesome Poltergeists. Lyall Lupin was afraid of nothing and it was a value he tried to instill in his son from an early age. 

As a young boy Remus was happy and curious, eager to learn about the world around him and did not frighten easily, though when your bedtime stories were about ghosts, vampires and werewolves there was little left to be frightened of.  His brief time at Primary School had also been a happy one, allowing his father to accept the senior advisor position in The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures to help the magical world with his knowledge. Remus didn’t miss being at home when he was at school. Popular amongst the other students due to his kindness and compassion he arrived home each day hand in hand with his mother with a new story or a friend in tow to gossip with over the kitchen table. Then Remus stopped coming to school. School like many things in his life became impossible, all due to the events of one night and one man. With members of the magical community and Muggle communities going missing Lyall was involved in the trial of a man who would become an infamous name in the wizarding world. FENRIR GREYBACK was a werewolf in disguise on trial for the murder of two Muggle children and had told the questioning committee he was a Muggle tramp which all but Lyall had fallen for. 

Recognising the characteristic signs of lycanthropy in Greyback's appearance and behaviour, Lyall voiced his concerns recommending that Greyback be detained until the next full moon, which was only twenty-four hours away. Lyall was instead ridiculed, causing him to lose his temper and was consequently expelled from the room while Fenrir was released, escaping onto the streets of London and hatching a plan to further ridicule the wizard who had offended both him and his kind with his comments. Shortly before Remus's fifth birthday, Fenrir followed Lyall home to his little house in Cardiff and climbed inside Remus’ bedroom window. Claws extended and teath beard he swiped at Remus, as he screamed in pain. Lyall reached Remus in time, repelling Fenrir with a powerful curse but the damage had already been done. Remus was infected. Every full moon thereafter Remus would transform into a werewolf, afraid for the lives of those around him and scared of the animal inside him that clawed its way out of him. His parents tried everything to find a cure for their son both magical and Muggle but could find nothing to help him. Concerned his condition would prevent Remus from attending Hogwarts his parents made arrangements to homeschool Remus but were stopped in their tracks the night before Remus’ eleventh birthday. 

Entering their home despite Lyall’s charms, PROFESSOR ALBUS DUMBLEDORE convinced Remus’ parents to allow him to accept his position at Hogwarts since he had already seen to it that the boy would have a safe, secure location to spend his monthly transformations. Moving to Hogwarts was a liberating experience for Remus. With a place to transform each month that didn’t result in him and his family moving every cycle he relaxed more into himself though he knew he could never fully let his guard down. He started by making friends with LILY EVANS, a gentle character and fellow Gryffindor who noticed how often he kept to himself. Lily was Remus’ first real friend and was grateful of her kindness. She never asked questions, only smiled and squeezed his hand at times she thought he needed it, which was more than she knew. The questions mostly came from the boys who lived in his dorm. JAMES POTTER was a loud and transparent boy Remus couldn’t have imagined being friends with until he was already in the throws of their friendship. James had taken a shine to him at first to get him away from Lily which Remus had noted though he said nothing till a number of years later. James’ best friends and his fellow roommates SIRIUS BLACK and PETER PETTIGREW, easily accepted him after James had given Remus his seal of approval and welcomed him with open arms into their little club of misfits. 

To the untrained eye, Remus didn’t belong with the three boys. He was much quieter, less trouble. But if souls were indeed made it was clear Remus, James, Sirius and Peter’s were made the same. They brought out a more mischievous side to him Remus had allowed to wither away long ago and although PROFESSOR MINERVA MCGONAGALL scolded him for his role in the occasional prank he still would enjoy the role he played. Despite his kinship with the boys, Remus still attempted to keep them at arm’s length, though a clever ploy by Sirius would not allow that to go on past their second year. Under the watchful eye of Professor Dumbledore, Remus would transform and roam The Dark Forest, before resting for a number of days in The Shrieking Shack and finally returning to classes. He would make up stories for his absence, but Sirius and Peter soon grew suspicious and followed him out one evening. Confirming their earlier suspicions they waited patiently for Remus to return before confronting him with their brilliant plan. Remus was shocked they hadn’t been disgusted by him, finding that with them finally fully by his side he enjoyed Hogwarts much more than he did his time at home. He graduated a prefect, narrowly missing out on Head Boy thanks to James and with close friendships he knew he would keep for the rest of his life as he headed into the world. 

Not wanting to burden the lives of his parents, Remus moved to Farringdon and settled into an apartment with his three best friends. He had a good support network around him, even from those who didn’t know about his condition. Remus had always thought to himself that if he was capable of loving someone he would have loved DORCAS MEADOWES. They enjoyed the company of one another in its purest form and that was simply enough. Given his status as a werewolf, Remus was refused a number of jobs before being accepted as a crime scene photographer in The Department of Magical Law Enforcement, working under FRANK LONGBOTTOM, due to a few kind words from Dorcas. The job was a gruesome one with people turning up each day murdered in one way or another. Remus and Frank were recently assigned a string of potential werewolf attacks they believed linked back to Fenrir Greyback. With the help of medical expert KEIRA GREY and Remus, Frank hopes to catch Fenrir and make him pay for his crimes though the pair have much more on their hands than simply Fenrir at present. Both members of Dumbeldore’s Order of The Phoenix, Remus spends a great deal of his free time training with Frank and helping The Order. Remus is dedicated and loyal enough to the cause to put in the extra hours and isn’t afraid to use the help of a few unconventional people to dig deeper into cases, even if he has to hide it from his friends. 

→ ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Blood Status → Half-Blood (Werewolf)

Pronouns → He/Him

Identification → Cis Male 

Sexuality  → Up to Roleplayer 

Relationship Status → Single

Previous Education →  Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Gryffindor)

Societies → N/A

Family → Lyall Lupin (father) 

Connections  → James Potter (best friend/housemate), Peter Pettigrew (best friend/housemate), Sirius Black (best friend/housemate), Dorcas Meadowes (best friend), Marlene McKinnon (close friend), Mary MacDonald (close friend), Lily Evans (close friend), Maren Linwood (close friend/potential love interest), Edward Tonks (friend), Keira Grey (friend), Emilia Grey (friend), Cassiopeia Kim (friend), Cressida Abercrombie (friend), Gilfred Abbott (friend), Caradoc Dearborn (friend), Poppy Hookum (friend), Aurora Sinistra (friend), Frank Longbottom (mentor/colleague), Fenrir Greyback (maker/adversary)  

Future Information → Husband of Nymphadora Tonks, Father of Teddy Lupin

REMUS LUPIN IS A LEVEL 7 WIZARD/WEREWOLF.

[appliedtheatreblog]

Geese Theatre

Describe in your own words Geese theatres' key theories.

Geese Theatre focus on the rehabilitation of offenders through the medium of Drama and Theatre. This has been proven to develop social consciousness, self control, self-esteem and responsibility in offenders, deterring them from crime again. Geese have three key theories that they apply when facilitating their participants, all of which encourage them to think deeper into their thinking and feelings and evaluate the person they really are underneath how they portray themselves. 

The first theory we learn about in the Geese Theatre handbook is Social Learning Theory-

This is using social interactive intervention to facilitate a new skill for the participants. It uses a process of applying a specific skill, so that once all the steps have been completed, participants should have successfully acquired that new skill.

The steps are as follows:-

Assessment/Self Assessment- Teaching what a specific skill requires to be successful e.g- Teamwork requires trust.

Instruction- Recommended procedure to follow for practising that skill. E.g practising teamwork would involve several team building exercises, showing participants how to operate as a contributor towards a team.

Modelling- Facilitators giving examples of the skill, this would normally include how NOT to approach the skill.\

Multiple Practise- Practising the skill whilst increasing difficulty and realism each attempt.

Testing- Testing the skill and giving appropriate feedback, where positive reinforcement is essential in encouraging participants to stick with the process.

Real world practise- An opportunity for participants to practise this skill in their everyday life.

When Geese talk about why this sequence is so important, the following is quoted-

“The sequence offers an important conceptual framework for helping participants to develop new skills in a conscious and structured way” (Mountford et al. 19)

This shows how offering this process would leave an impact on participants, asking them exactly why each skill is important and would benefit them daily leaves an impact which would hopefully lead them to approaching situations better in the future.

The second theory is called Cognitive- behavioural Theory

When I first stumbled across this I had a reasonably wide understanding of what it entails. This is due to the fact that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is used very often in modern day as a psycho-social intervention to treat mental health, it challenges any cognitive distortions and helps to develop personal coping strategies, improving people's control over their emotions. Geese Theatre uses drama as a vehicle through this theory to challenge and explore the beliefs and attitudes of offenders that may lead to them displaying anti-social behaviour. 

Geese explain that offenders often unknowingly place themselves in habitual cycles, which are self-sabotaging and often lead to offending behaviour. By using drama to facilitate this change, Geese starts a conversation which asks ‘Did your choices affect you positively?’ Most of the time that answer is no. They will then ask “What can we do next time to prevent negative outcomes due to personal actions?’ 

They use the example of exploring a victim's experience on the receiving end of antisocial behaviour. They would create a scene in which somebody would play the victim of something like Robbery, this would help by showing that other people are becoming hurt by their actions, holding them responsible for their actions. 

Geese also explain that offenders often have the fixed vision that they are a victim to the system- and other people should feel the pain they do. This is a belief of self-sabotage as they can end up incarcerated due to the extent of their actions, modifying this belief so that offenders feel empowered by opportunity of personal growth, often leads to less offenses in the future.

 The final theory is called Role Theory-

This is the idea that we all play a role in society, and that we have total control over how we play roles in our lives. Role Theory is a way Geese can identify skills and roles that offenders could benefit from developing.

They say -”Role Theory observes how we all play roles in our lives which generate behavioural archetypes associated with that role in any given context.” (Mountford et al., 2002, 19)  

This communicates how offenders often stick to a role that does not benefit them, for example, young offenders can present themselves as incapable of work (even when they are) because they feel like nobody would hire them. This is them intentionally placing themselves in an unemployable box, Geese’s role theory  would come into play here by using drama to teach different job roles to offenders. Such as, the role of an employee, which would benefit them by teaching the behavioural archetypes of succeeding and retaining a job. The biggest message Geese are portraying here is that personal roles are dynamic and can be consciously chosen to benefit your quality of life.

What specifically stood out for you in the Geese theatre reading? (Give 2 examples. Be specific. Did it make you think about something - if so, what? Did it raise questions for you - if so, what are they?)

The first element of Geese Theatres practise that stood out to me, was the concept of ‘The Mask’ this is a metaphor for analysing the inner processes that support the roles we play. It is essentially the ‘front’ we portray to the outside world. Geese attempt to ‘lift the mask’ and go inside the heads of offenders to uncover hidden thoughts and attitudes. This eventually leads to behavioural change as it proves that their inner process leads them to offensive behaviour, challenging the conflict right at its core. What particularly stood out to me, was when it stated that participants would often practice this concept on a fictional character. I think this is such an interesting practise as it shows participants that this can be practised on everyone, meaning people probably perceive them in a way where they believe they are not conducting themselves authentically. I had a think about the character of ‘Javert’ from the musical ‘Les Mis’ and attempted to analyze the hidden thoughts there. This was very interesting to me as it allowed me to see that charter through a deeper lesne, and understand the behaviour that occurred as a result of the inner thoughts. Javert-

Presents himself as a powerful and lawful man, hungry for social justice. Blinded by this and unable to see the good that ex-villain Valjean does for the community. Inner thoughts- disappointed in previous failings to catch Valjean, frustrated he failed his life missions. Feels as though he has nothing else to live for.  The result of this inner process was his ultimate demise. However the chance to analyse those inner feelings, may have led to an emotional breakthrough that could have eventually prevented the dark end to his life. 

Although this may be considered a far fetched evaluation, I can confidently say that I understand why completing an exercise like this would make an offender feel more able and comfortable to analyze themselves with intention to change their damaging inner processes. 

Another concept that I was particularly interested by, is the section that focused on working with resistance, particularly ‘Responding to Resistance’

Geese explain how oftentimes offenders are very resistant to participate in drama because of a fixed idea they have that drama is ‘Silly’ and ‘Just childrens games”. Although this resistance is a difficult bridge for a facilitator, Geese explains how it is important to ask yourself ‘What is causing my person or group to feel resistant or afraid?’ and then ‘How can I modify my approach to accommodate this?’ Offenders often don't want to be tricked into becoming vulnerable, a great facilitator would respond to this fear by ensuring the practise would be entirely based around their boundaries. What particularly intrigues me was that facilitators can utilise resistance to their advantage, participants who are particularly resistant and are seeking out to sabotage the group are often seeking an outcome that works for them in that situation. In this instance, facilitators could respond to the participant in a conversational manner, giving them a response they were not expecting. This encourages new energy and tension into the group, which can be interesting for the participants as it demonstrates how conflict and interpersonal tension can actually lead to creative solutions, not just a power struggle which is more than likely what they are used to.

How does the work of Geese theatre company join up with the wider world of Applied theatre and the idea of dominant narratives?

Geese Theatre company are a perfect example of an Applied Theatre company, they work with marginalised groups in modern society and instigate a conversation that leads to social change. They utilize many techniques that other forms of Applied Theatre do, all of which centre around the voices and capabilities of those in spaces where mainstream theatre doesn't normally exist. The idea of ‘dominant narratives’ is a pattern I would argue is present in many forms of applied theatre. A dominant narrative is the dominant social argument applicable to certain social groups or events. An example of this in relation to Geese Theatre is that offenders don't have the capability to change and are the poison that must be controlled in our society. Another example of this looks back at my first blog post where I explored the Theatre and Health company, Target Theatre. This is the company that explores the views on the elderly in our society and the hidden fears they face. The dominant narrative this company takle is the idea that Elderly people have less to contribute to our society as they are not as physically and emotionally available as the younger generation. Both of the dominant narratives I have outlined above are particularly ruthless, but the function of Applied Theatre in relation to these narratives is to inspire that social change that is so desperately needed, yet this form facilitates that change in a marking and inspiring manner.

Bibliography 

Mountford, A., Brookes, S., & Baim, C. (2002). The Geese Theatre handbook. Waterside Press.

[and-then-there-were-n0ne]

The human brain is composed of two hemispheres, connected to each other through a thick neural cable. Each hemisphere controls the opposite side of the body. The right hemisphere controls the left side of the body, receives data from the left-hand field of vision and is responsible for moving the left arm and leg, and vice versa. This is why people who have had a stroke in their right hemisphere sometimes ignore the left side of their body (combing only the right side of their hair, or eating only the food placed on the right side of their plate).

There are also emotional and cognitive differences between the two hemispheres, though the division is far from clear-cut. Most cognitive activities involve both hemispheres, but not to the same degree. For example, in most cases the left hemisphere plays a more important role in speech and in logical reasoning, whereas the right hemisphere is more dominant in processing spatial information.

Many breakthroughs in understanding the relations between the two hemispheres were based on the study of epilepsy patients. In severe cases of epilepsy, electrical storms begin in one part of the brain but quickly spread to other parts, causing a very acute seizure. During such seizures patients lose control of their body, and frequent seizures consequently prevent patients from holding a job or leading a normal lifestyle. In the mid-twentieth century, when all other treatments failed, doctors alleviated the problem by cutting the thick neural cable connecting the two hemispheres, so that electrical storms beginning in one hemisphere could not spill over to the other. For brain scientists these patients were a gold-mine of astounding data.

Some of the most notable studies on these split-brain patients were conducted by Professor Roger Wolcott Sperry, who won the Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine for his groundbreaking discoveries, and by his student, Professor Michael S. Gazzaniga. One study was conducted on a teenaged boy. The boy was asked what he would like to do when he grew up. The boy answered that he wanted to be a draughtsman. This answer was provided by the left hemisphere, which plays a crucial part in logical reasoning as well as in speech. Yet the boy had another active speech centre in his right hemisphere, which could not control vocal language, but could spell words using Scrabble tiles. The researchers were keen to know what the right hemisphere would say. So they spread Scrabble tiles on the table, and then took a piece of paper and wrote on it: ‘What would you like to do when you grow up?’ They placed the paper at the edge of the boy’s left visual field. Data from the left visual field is processed in the right hemisphere. Since the right hemisphere could not use vocal language, the boy said nothing. But his left hand began moving rapidly across the table, collecting tiles from here and there. It spelled out: ‘automobile race’. Spooky.

Equally eerie behaviour was displayed by patient WJ, a Second World War veteran. WJ’s hands were each controlled by a different hemisphere. Since the two hemispheres were out of touch with one another, it sometimes happened that his right hand would reach out to open a door, and then his left hand would intervene and try to slam the door shut.

In another experiment, Gazzaniga and his team flashed a picture of a chicken claw to the left-half brain – the side responsible for speech – and simultaneously flashed a picture of a snowy landscape to the right brain. When asked what they saw, patients invariably answered ‘a chicken claw’. Gazzaniga then presented one patient, PS, with a series of picture cards and asked him to point to the one that best matched what he had seen. The patient’s right hand (controlled by his left brain) pointed to a picture of a chicken, but simultaneously his left hand shot out and pointed to a snow shovel. Gazzaniga then asked PS the million-dollar question: ‘Why did you point both to the chicken and to the shovel?’ PS replied, ‘Oh, the chicken claw goes with the chicken, and you need a shovel to clean out the chicken shed.’

What happened here? The left brain, which controls speech, had no data about the snow scene, and therefore did not really know why the left hand pointed to the shovel. So it just invented something credible. After repeating this experiment many times, Gazzaniga concluded that the left hemisphere of the brain is the seat not only of our verbal abilities, but also of an internal interpreter that constantly tries to make sense of our life, using partial clues in order to concoct plausible stories.

In another experiment, the non-verbal right hemisphere was shown a pornographic image. The patient reacted by blushing and giggling. ‘What did you see?’ asked the mischievous researchers. ‘Nothing, just a flash of light,’ said the left hemisphere, and the patient immediately giggled again, covering her mouth with her hand. ‘Why are you laughing then?’ they insisted. The bewildered left-hemisphere interpreter – struggling for some rational explanation – replied that one of the machines in the room looked very funny.

It’s as if the CIA conducts a drone strike in Pakistan, unbeknown to the US State Department. When a journalist grills State Department officials about it, they make up some plausible explanation. In reality, the spin doctors don’t have a clue why the strike was ordered, so they just invent something. A similar mechanism is employed by all human beings, not just by split-brain patients. Again and again my own private CIA does things without the approval or knowledge of my State Department, and then my State Department cooks up a story that presents me in the best possible light. Often enough, the State Department itself becomes convinced of the pure fantasies it has invented.

Similar conclusions have been reached by behavioural economists, who want to know how people take economic decisions. Or more accurately, who takes these decisions. Who decides to buy a Toyota rather than a Mercedes, to go on holiday to Paris rather than Thailand, and to invest in South Korean treasury bonds rather than in the Shanghai stock exchange? Most experiments have indicated that there is no single self making any of these decisions. Rather, they result from a tug of war between different and often conflicting inner entities.

One groundbreaking experiment was conducted by Daniel Kahneman, who won the Nobel Prize in Economics. Kahneman asked a group of volunteers to join a three-part experiment. In the ‘short’ part of the experiment, the volunteers inserted one hand into a container filled with water at 14°C for one minute, which is unpleasant, bordering on painful. After sixty seconds, they were told to take their hand out. In the ‘long’ part of the experiment, volunteers placed their other hand in another water container. The temperature there was also 14°C, but after sixty seconds, hot water was secretly added into the container, bringing the temperature up to 15°C. Thirty seconds later, they were told to pull out their hand. Some volunteers did the ‘short’ part first, while others began with the ‘long’ part. In either case, exactly seven minutes after both parts were over came the third and most important part of the experiment. The volunteers were told they must repeat one of the two parts, and it was up to them to choose which; 80 per cent preferred to repeat the ‘long’ experiment, remembering it as less painful.

The cold-water experiment is so simple, yet its implications shake the core of the liberal world view. It exposes the existence of at least two different selves within us: the experiencing self and the narrating self. The experiencing self is our moment-to-moment consciousness. For the experiencing self, it’s obvious that the ‘long’ part of the cold-water experiment was worse. First you experience water at 14°C for sixty seconds, which is every bit as bad as what you experience in the ‘short’ part, and then you must endure another thirty seconds of water at 15°C, which is not quite as bad, but still far from pleasant. For the experiencing self, it is impossible that adding a slightly unpleasant experience to a very unpleasant experience will make the entire episode more appealing.

However, the experiencing self remembers nothing. It tells no stories, and is seldom consulted when it comes to big decisions. Retrieving memories, telling stories and making big decisions are all the monopoly of a very different entity inside us: the narrating self. The narrating self is akin to Gazzaniga’s left-brain interpreter. It is forever busy spinning yarns about the past and making plans for the future. Like every journalist, poet and politician, the narrating self takes many short cuts. It doesn’t narrate everything, and usually weaves the story only from peak moments and end results. The value of the whole experience is determined by averaging peaks with ends. For example, in the short part of the cold-water experiment, the narrating self finds the average between the worst part (the water was very cold) and the last moment (the water was still very cold) and concludes that ‘the water was very cold’. The narrating self does the same thing with the long part of the experiment. It finds the average between the worst part (the water was very cold) and the last moment (the water was not so cold) and concludes that ‘the water was somewhat warmer’. Crucially, the narrating self is duration-blind, giving no importance to the differing lengths of the two parts. So when it has a choice between the two, it prefers to repeat the long part, the one in which ‘the water was somewhat warmer’.

Every time the narrating self evaluates our experiences, it discounts their duration, and adopts the ‘peak-end rule’ – it remembers only the peak moment and the end moment, and evaluates the whole experience according to their average. This has far-reaching impact on all our practical decisions. Kahneman began investigating the experiencing self and the narrating self in the early 1990s when, together with Donald Redelmeier of the University of Toronto, he studied colonoscopy patients. In colonoscopy tests, a tiny camera is inserted into the guts through the anus, in order to diagnose various bowel diseases. It is not a pleasant experience. Doctors want to know how to perform the test in the least painful way. Should they speed up the colonoscopy and cause patients more severe pain for a shorter duration, or should they work more slowly and carefully?

To answer this query, Kahneman and Redelmeier asked 154 patients to report the pain during the colonoscopy at one-minute intervals. They used a scale of 0 to 10, where 0 meant no pain at all, and 10 meant intolerable pain. After the colonoscopy was over, patients were asked to rank the test’s ‘overall pain level’, also on a scale of 0 to 10. We might have expected the overall rank to reflect the accumulation of minute-by-minute reports. The longer the colonoscopy lasted, and the more pain the patient experienced, the higher the overall pain level. But the actual results were different.

Just as in the cold-water experiment, the overall pain level neglected duration and instead reflected only the peak-end rule. One colonoscopy lasted eight minutes, at the worst moment the patient reported a level 8 pain, and in the last minute he reported a level 7 pain. After the test was over, this patient ranked his overall pain level at 7.5. Another colonoscopy lasted twenty-four minutes. This time too peak pain was level 8, but in the very last minute of the test, the patient reported a level 1 pain. This patient ranked his overall pain level only at 4.5. The fact that his colonoscopy lasted three times as long, and that he consequently suffered far more pain on aggregate, did not affect his memory at all. The narrating self doesn’t aggregate experiences – it averages them.

So what do the patients prefer: to have a short and sharp colonoscopy, or a long and careful one? There isn’t a single answer to this question, because the patient has at least two different selves, and they have different interests. If you ask the experiencing self, it will probably prefer a short colonoscopy. But if you ask the narrating self, it will vote for a long colonoscopy because it remembers only the average between the worst moment and the last moment. Indeed, from the viewpoint of the narrating self, the doctor should add a few completely superfluous minutes of dull aches at the very end of the test, because it will make the entire memory far less traumatic.

Paediatricians know this trick well. So do vets. Many keep in their clinics jars full of treats, and hand a few to the kids (or dogs) after giving them a painful injection or an unpleasant medical examination. When the narrating self remembers the visit to the doctor, ten seconds of pleasure at the end of the visit will erase many minutes of anxiety and pain.

Evolution discovered this trick aeons before the paediatricians. Given the unbearable torments women undergo at childbirth, you might think that after going through it once, no sane woman would ever agree to do it again. However, at the end of labour and in the following days the hormonal system secretes cortisol and beta-endorphins, which reduce the pain and create a feeling of relief and sometimes even of elation. Moreover, the growing love towards the baby, and the acclaim from friends, family members, religious dogmas and nationalist propaganda, conspire to turn childbirth from a terrible trauma into a positive memory.

One study conducted at the Rabin Medical Center in Tel Aviv showed that the memory of labour reflected mainly the peak and end points, while the overall duration had almost no impact at all. In another research project, 2,428 Swedish women were asked to recount their memories of labour two months after giving birth. Ninety per cent reported that the experience was either positive or very positive. They didn’t necessarily forget the pain – 28.5 per cent described it as the worst pain imaginable – yet it did not prevent them from evaluating the experience as positive. The narrating self goes over our experiences with a sharp pair of scissors and a thick black marker. It censors at least some moments of horror, and files in the archive a story with a happy ending.

Most of our critical life choices – of partners, careers, residences and holidays – are taken by our narrating self. Suppose you can choose between two potential holidays. You can go to Jamestown, Virginia, and visit the historic colonial town where the first English settlement on mainland North America was founded in 1607. Alternatively, you can realise your number one dream vacation, whether it is trekking in Alaska, sunbathing in Florida or having an unbridled bacchanalia of sex, drugs and gambling in Las Vegas. But there is a caveat: if you choose your dream vacation, then just before you board the plane home, you must take a pill which will wipe out all your memories of that vacation. What happened in Vegas will forever remain in Vegas. Which holiday would you choose? Most people would opt for colonial Jamestown, because most people give their credit card to the narrating self, which cares only about stories and has zero interest in even the most mind-blowing experiences if it cannot remember them.

Truth be told, the experiencing self and the narrating self are not completely separate entities but are closely intertwined. The narrating self uses our experiences as important (but not exclusive) raw materials for its stories. These stories, in turn, shape what the experiencing self actually feels. We experience hunger differently when we fast on Ramadan, when we fast in preparation for a medical examination, and when we don’t eat because we have no money. The different meanings ascribed to our hunger by the narrating self create very different actual experiences.

Furthermore, the experiencing self is often strong enough to sabotage the best-laid plans of the narrating self. For example, I can make a New Year resolution to start a diet and go to the gym every day. Such grand decisions are the monopoly of the narrating self. But the following week when it’s gym time, the experiencing self takes over. I don’t feel like going to the gym, and instead I order pizza, sit on the sofa and turn on the TV.

Nevertheless, most people identify with their narrating self. When they say ‘I’, they mean the story in their head, not the stream of experiences they undergo. We identify with the inner system that takes the crazy chaos of life and spins out of it seemingly logical and consistent yarns. It doesn’t matter that the plot is full of lies and lacunas, and that it is rewritten again and again, so that today’s story flatly contradicts yesterday’s; the important thing is that we always retain the feeling that we have a single unchanging identity from birth to death (and perhaps even beyond the grave). This gives rise to the questionable liberal belief that I am an individual, and that I possess a consistent and clear inner voice, which provides meaning for the entire universe.

- Yuval Noah Harari, Who are I? in Homo Deus: A Brief History of Tomorrow

[lupinepublishers-ojnbd]

Lupine Publishers| Sleep is for Life: an Essential Part of Everyday Life

Lupine Publishers| Journal of Neurology and Brain Disorders

Abstract

Sleep is essential for basic survival as well as for optimal physical and cognitive performance in both human beings and animals. Sleep is a normal human function that is detrimental to sustaining life yet; individuals are affected differently by their sleep schedule. However, the community at large often underestimates sleep and its importance, therefore leading people to not be as concerned with a proper night’s sleep, thereby preventing them from performing at peak efficiency. Sleep plays a vital role in learning and when a person fails to obtain enough sleep the night prior, neurons in the brain might not fire properly, the body becomes out of synch, and it can even lead to accidental physical injuries. As many studies have been conducted, the majority have seemed to come to similar conclusions: a lack of sleep can have detrimental side effects on the human mind and body and by regularly obtaining enough sleep each night; a person can function more efficiently.

Introduction

Go to

Sleep is one of the great unsolved mysteries of biology. Actually a large part of the population spends one third of his life asleep, it is therefore not surprising that this phenomenon has always been a great fascination for humanity. It is an important physiological process responsible for the physical, mental and emotional health of a living being. A good sleep is one of the most satisfying human experiences with a role to play in maintaining a good mood and cognitive acuity as well as in promoting physiologic balance and resilience [1]. Sleep is a regular physiological state of natural life and is observed in majority of organisms [2]. Sleep is a naturally persistent reversible state of rest state characterized by reduced or absence of consciousness, suspended sensory activity, and inactivity of voluntary muscles. Sleep is a heightened anabolic state, accentuating the growth and rejuvenation of the immune, nervous, skeletal and muscular systems [3]. It is generated by complex but specific brain neuronal circuitry and heavily influenced by various factors such as biological rhythms, hormonal changes and environmental factors [4,5]. Sleep is an essential element of the human condition, which allows us to perform critical daily functions at peak optimization when obtaining in the correct amount. Sleep is important because it has a determining role in mental and physical health, along with quality of life [6,7]. Sleep, a complex phenomenon, is not merely the result of physical fatigue or decrease in activity; instead it is a complicated behavioural state requiring the integration of several neuronal processes [8].

Sleep Stages

Sleep is a reversible, physiological state with reduced motility. It is subdivided into REM sleep (rapid eye movement sleep, paradoxical sleep, active sleep, D sleep or deep sleep, REMS), and NREM sleep (SWS or slow wave sleep, non-REM sleep, NREMS). REMS is characterized by muscle atonia, activation of several brain areas, including the cortex and physically occurring eye movements, muscle twitches and changes in pulse rate, blood pressure and respiration. NREMS is characterized by body rest [9].

Functions of Sleep

Sleep is a global state, the control mechanisms of which are manifested at every level of biological organization: from genes and intracellular mechanisms to networks of cell populations, and to all central neuronal systems that control movement, arousal, autonomic functions, behaviour and cognition [10]. Sleep boosts up the immune functions has a role in brain maturation and helps in energy conservation. [11,12].Sleep contributes to memory consolidation possibly by enhancing synaptic plasticity [13]. Xie and colleagues reported that during sleep, waste products of brain metabolism are removed from the interstitial space among brain cells where they accumulate this is due to change in the brain’s extracellular space between sleep and waking states [14]. In sleep, metabolic rates decrease and reactive oxygen species generation is reduced allowing restorative processes to take over. It is theorized that sleep helps facilitate the synthesis of molecules that help repair and protect the brain from these harmful elements generated during waking [15].

Though sleep is essential for life, it is difficult to enumerate its functions. Sleep is needed to regenerate certain parts of the body, mainly the brain, so that it may continue to function optimally. One of the important functions of sleep is to promote synaptic plasticity and neuronal recovery for proper brain functioning. Memory consolidation, brain growth and repair are other functions proposed for sleep [16,17]. Various Behavioural and electrophysiological studies have revealed that sleep plays a crucial role in long-term memory storage [18].

It is stated that sleep is essential for restoration and recovery. Energy conservation is one function that is proposed for sleep. It is thought that sleep may help the body conserve energy and other resources that the immune system needs to mount an attack on diseases. Sleep may help to discharge emotions through dreaming [17]. Many experiments have shown that we retain newly acquired knowledge or a newly learned skill more effectively the day after a good night’s sleep and because the hippocampus is known to be heavily involved in encoding memories, REM sleep may thus contribute to learning and memory [19]. The amygdala– hippocampus–medial prefrontal cortex network involved in emotional processing, fear memory and valence consolidation shows strongest activity during REM sleep [20].

Summary

Although sleep occupies approximately a third of the human lifespan, the amount of time humans spend awake has increased over the years. Many neurological diseases from Alzheimer’s to stroke and dementia are associated with sleep disturbances. Lack of sleep could have a causal role, by allowing the byproducts to build up and cause brain damage. Sleep is one of the important needs like oxygen and nutrition for survival. Sleep is a basic drive of nature. Sufficient sleep helps us think more clearly, complete complex tasks better and more consistently and enjoy everyday life more fully. “You probably develop damage if you don’t get your sleep.”

“Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleave of care, The death of each day’s life, sore labour’s bath, Balm of hurt minds, great Nature’s second course, Chief nourisher in life’s feast.”

For more Lupine Publishers Open Access Journals Please visit our website: https://lupinepublishers.us/

For more Open Access Journal of Neurology & Neurosurgery articles Please Click Here:

https://lupinepublishers.com/neurology-brain-disorders-journal/

[possiblyimbiassed]

What happened to Sherlock? Part VIII - The Sign of the Hetero Norm (1)

Why does Mary Morstan play such a prominent role in BBC Sherlock? 

I’m surely not the only one asking myself this; while she’s barely mentioned in canon after marrying Watson, she’s all over the place from TEH and onwards in Mofftiss’ adaptation. And when I recently read this excellent fic by @discordantwords, a couple of things dawned on me, that I think have been brewing in my mind for quite some time. Which brings me to the long promised continuation of my marathon meta series about what I think we’re actually seeing in this show. Because the entire point of Mary Morstan seems to be to prevent Sherlock and John from getting together in a romantic relationship - a story of hetero norm. This eighth installment will explore the ‘case’ of little Rosie, and the role she and her mother plays in this show. 

This far I’ve published an intro and seven installments, each with corresponding attempts to test my hypotheses:

Introduction - The game is on (explains the method of analysis) Part I - Blog vs TV-show Part II - Re-living memories Part III - Drugs and weirdness Part IV – Heartbreak and coma (1) Part IV – Heartbreak and coma (2) Part V – Bizarre scenarios Part VI - Live and let die (1) Part VI - Live and let die (2)

Part VII - The Importance of Being Earnest (1) 

Part VII - The Importance of Being Earnest (2)

This installment will also be parted in two, and the second half can be found here (X). Many of the screen caps from BBC Sherlock in this meta are from Kissthemgoodbye.net - thanks! And thanks also to Ariane DeVere for the incredibly useful transcripts!

My next hypotheses is, in and off itself, a clear and straightforward prediction that can be explicitly verified or falsified once we finally get to S5, so it will be extra fun to see what happens with it in future: 

Hypothesis #8: John is not the father of Mary’s baby

(Disclaimer: My suspicion here only concerns John’s biological offspring. It would still be possible that John, and perhaps also Sherlock, might father the child - if it exists - by adoption. It does not exclude a metaphorical reading where the baby represents, for example, Sherlock’s and John’s relationship. I also want to stress that this hypothesis is an attempt at logical reasoning based on observations in the show and in ACD canon; it’s not meant to be ‘gossipy’ and has nothing to do with whether I would actually like to see this happen or not - that’s a whole other story. ;) )  

This hypothesis has been brewing in my mind for quite some time now, but I don’t think it’s just a hunch; there are actually a series of reasons that have made me come to this conclusion. 

(Continued under the cut)

But first of all: can we debunk my hypothesis at this stage in the story, by testing it ‘scientifically’? Well, not really, since the show doesn’t provide any reliable evidence that confirms John as Rosie’s biological father. Not even IRL would this have been possible without a DNA-test (or without physical circumstances that would have made any other option impossible). And the only thing that the show tells us about human DNA-tests is that not even this procedure is 100% reliable, as shown in ASIB:

JOHN: You were dead on a slab. It was definitely you. IRENE: DNA-tests are only as good as the records you keep. JOHN: And I bet you know the record-keeper. IRENE: I know what he likes, and I needed to disappear.

DNA is brought up in TGG (Ian Monkford’s blood) and again in TST (the identification of Charlie Wellsborough’s body), but since John’s fatherhood is never questioned in the show, little Rosie is never tested, as far as we know. The remaining evidence that speaks for John being the father is circumstantial: that John and Mary obviously must have been living together at the approximate time of conception. And that they both act as if they’re both Rosie’s parents.

So I guess that in order to get any further with this, I’ll have to start at the other end, analysing the characters and see if I can find evidence that support my hypothesis - on a textual level as well as metaphorically and on the meta level. 

Mary’s function in the story

I think we can safely say that Mary is the most controversial character of BBC Sherlock. Some viewers love her, others hate her, but I can’t recall anyone claiming to feel indifferent towards her. Mofftiss have indeed managed to push forward a character who is hardly even visible in canon, once she’s married to Watson. In BBC Sherlock, however, Mary totally dominates the show from HLV and onwards. Her appearances may have been increasing in numbers and length already from her introduction in TEH. But from the point where John wakes up in HLV, there isn’t a single case where she’s not somehow involved. Up until TFP, everything is about ’Mary’. And even then, once we might have believed we’d got rid of the ghost of this hijacking protagonist, she comes back, only to once again take over the narrative with a weird and basically inexplicable voiceover. She seems like some kind of obsession; a brain ghost stuck on someone’s mind.

This is rather different from ACD canon, where Mary Morstan has extremely few lines as soon as she’s no longer a client, but Watson’s wife. Personally I find it hard to see the lovable aspect of this character in BBC Sherlock, since she constantly shifts appearance, behaviour and motivation; it’s almost impossible to pin down who she actually is. Which makes me convinced that Mary is not meant to be a real, believable character that we can relate to as such - at least not all the time. And maybe that goes for canon as well.

But what then is the purpose of her, what’s Mary’s actual function in the narrative, looking at the subtext? I think there’s basically three of them, and by no means mutually exclusive:

1. Mary is a metaphor for heteronormativity and its power over people when they internalise it

2. Mary is a façade or ‘beard’, where a straight marriage is established to cover up a story of a gay relationship

3. Mary is a mirror for Sherlock; by substituting himself with a female spouse for John, Sherlock can be with John ‘by proxy’, trying to figure out John without having to face his own real problem: reveal his emotions and risk failure.

As soon as Mary firmly puts her foot in the show, it all becomes a spectacle, a demonstration of how to keep up a straight facade at any cost. After TSoT, no-one ever assumes John and Sherlock are a romantic couple; Mary is the ultimate ’proof’ that John is indeed straight. Which is of course illogical, because why would a bi person stop being it because they married someone, no matter of which sex? Mary admits it herself by telling Sherlock that ”neither of us was the first, you know”. And Sherlock complains that John is dancing around Sholto ”like a puppet” even after the wedding ceremony. But in all the episodes after TSoT, John is happily freed from people’s assumptions regarding his sexual orientation. Gone are all the gay jokes, and John Watson is miraculously ‘cured’. 

I think this is perfectly illustrated in the fic by @discordantwords​ that I mentioned above. The plot follows logically on TFP, as things would be if everything we’ve seen from HLV and onwards is actually meant to be ‘true’. Mary is now dead and John lives alone with little Rosie. For a case, in order to get close to the suspects, Sherlock is planning to fake his own wedding with Janine Hawkins, and John is feeling jealous and excluded – especially when he finds out that one of the murders that Sherlock is investigating had involved a wedding of a gay couple:

"Why all of this, then?" he asked. He tipped his head towards the kitchen, where Janine was fiddling with the kettle. "I could have just—wouldn't it have been easier for us to just—?"

"You're not gay," Sherlock said.

"Well," John paused. "No." He cleared his throat, looked back at the wall. "But everyone already thinks we're a couple. Wouldn't be that much of a stretch, really. For a case."

"No one has thought that for quite some time."

This fanfic rings perfectly true to me, considering S4 on the surface level; John and Sherlock appearing as a couple wouldn’t work after John’s own wedding in TSoT. Because gone is now every allusion to John being anything else than straight. Gone is also John’s admiration for Sherlock; from HLV and on, he hardly ever even speaks about Sherlock in a positive way. (Which also makes me wonder: was ‘The Fall’ also about Sherlock feeling he had fallen from John’s pedestal of admiration?). For the rest of the show, it’s only Sherlock whom we see suffering from (presumably) gay pining. It’s only in Sherlock’s Victorian imagination that Moriarty tells them to ’elope’ together, while John in TLD is shown to be exclusively fixed on his dead wife. 

On the surface, Sherlock seems to support John’s relationship with Mary, while I’m sure he is actually suffering deeply. But I think, metaphorically, that Sherlock is acting like some kind of self-sacrificing Christ figure. (Don’t forget Irene’s words from ASiB: “I think you’re damaged, delusional and believe in a higher power. In your case, it’s yourself”). He bears the ‘cross’ of torture by seeing John with someone else, until he can’t stand it any more and trashes himself on drugs. This is what we see at the beginning of TEH, John holding hands with a woman in front of Sherlock’s grave:

Why can’t we see Mary’s face already here? I think it’s because this is from Sherlock’s POV; he’s either seeing or imagining them from behind. She might have a hidden face but a familiar shape because by the time Sherlock is recalling this, he already knows what Mary looks like. But at this point in time, maybe he didn’t? In any case, it must be devastating for Sherlock to see or imagine John with someone else, when he should be there to mourn him, Sherlock. 

Thinking about John with Mary, Sherlock can’t even sleep. He is tortured on a cross and dies for all our ’sins’, doesn’t he? On the meta level Sherlock Holmes sacrifices his life, he extinguishes his true self, in the name of heteronormativity. So that John can have his straight marriage, even if it’s dysfunctional. But our worst ’sin’ as an audience, I believe - our ultimate mistake - is to buy into this narrative without questioning it. That’s literally letting the hetero norm rule.

King David the Adulterer

Mary’s ex-boyfriend David is introduced in TSoT, but after this episode he never shows up again. But this seems very random to me; why is David even there, and why is he depicted as some kind of rival to John? What is his narrative purpose? David is often blurred out in the scenes, but he is definitely present during the whole wedding reception, where his role is to be an usher (showing people their places/seats). David gives the impression to be single, since he attends Mary’s wedding without any partner as company.

Sherlock, who meets David alone at 221B during the wedding planning, deduces that he still seems to have an intimate relationship with Mary. Only recently I discovered this meta from 2014 called The Baby Problem by @abitnotgood​, which brings up pretty much exactly the same suspicions I have had for quite some time now. The main points are the following:

Mary was dating David for 2 of the totally 5 years she had been undercover with the false name Mary.

They’re still close enough friends for David to attend the wedding, which might indicate their breakup was unwanted from one or both parts.

Mary’s reactions during the wedding reception indicates that she still cares for David.

Sherlock finds out that David has “offered to be her shoulder to cry on no less than three occasions.” 

David sits at the same table as most other major characters, which indicates that he’s important.

David doesn’t look particularly happy while toasting for the bride and groom.

To these I could also add that Sherlock gets so suspicious about David that he threatens him with keeping a close eye on his whereabouts with Mary. From a story telling POV, when a character is suspected by the main character who is a genius detective, there should actually be some reason for this - shouldn’t it?

So who is David? Does he appear anywhere in canon? I actually think he does. In ACD’s short story The Crooked Man (CROO), the name David plays a symbolical role. The story is about a (supposed) murder of a middle-aged military officer, colonel James Barclay. It’s a classical Sherlock Holmes mystery with a door locked from the inside and the key missing. The death seems to originate from a domestic quarrel between the colonel and his wife. (Which is particularly interesting considering the Watsons’ ‘domestic’ in HLV). 

Turns out the colonel died of fright when he saw his old rival Henry Wood, whom he had betrayed in the war and deliberately left to be captured by the enemy. Henry was repeatedly tortured and crippled and held prisoner for many years, until he could escape back to London and a coincidence brought his old love interest in his way, who was now married to the colonel. (Hmm... tortured by the enemy. Been away. Love interest married. Does this seem like anyone we know? ;) ). Henry was “the crooked man” of the story, who was bereft of his loved one because of James. 

But the name David was mystically uttered by Colonel Barclay’s wife while quarreling with her husband - why? Holmes claimed it was a biblical reference to the drama of king David, Batsheba and Uriah. King David committed adultery with the beautiful Bathsheba, who was married to his soldier Uriah. Bathsheba got pregnant after sleeping with David, while Uriah was out fighting a war. David tried to cover up that fact by sending Uriah home, but Uriah refused to leave his comrades. Then David betrayed his rival Uriah the same way James betrayed Henry: by deliberately leaving him exposed to the enemy. The only difference was that Uriah died on the battlefield, while Henry was caught and crippled. Which leads us almost inevitably to Captain John Watson - he is a soldier who was crippled by the enemy too, wasn’t he? ;)

What about Rosie?

Although Mary is dominating the show from TEH and forwards, John’s and Mary’s daughter - little Rosie - is subjected to the opposite treatment; she has very little screen time, and we never learn about a single character trait of hers. In ACD canon the Watsons never had a child, as far as I know. And – even in Victorian times – I believe it would have seemed strange with the Doctor spending so much of his free time (besides work) together with Holmes, obviously neglecting his family duties. So since Mofftiss have introduced a totally new ingredient to their adaptation - a time-consuming baby - one would think this has to have a clear purpose, right? I would have expected Rosie to play a part of her own, someone the audience could relate to just like the other characters, if only still a baby. 

But instead, Rosie is seen most of all as an obstacle. Mary is balancing her while discussing a case with Sherlock. Rosie is handed over to John like a sack of potatoes when the family goes on to solve a case with Sherlock; she doesn’t make a sound and we don’t even see her little face. We see John change Rosie’s diaper once (basically to show that he has a toy daisy behind his ear, which is apparently a good flirting device), and then we see Sherlock trying to babysit her at 221B, getting hit in the eye by her toy. We also hear her cry in the background once, and see Molly hold her once. And that’s about it. 

When Sherlock texts them from the London Aquarium at the end of TST, Mary and John debate which of them is going to have to stay with the baby, but finally both of them show up at the Aquarium – without Rosie. And this happens not long after Mary has taken a ‘little trip’ around Eurasia ending up in Morocco and John and Sherlock going after her – little Rosie staying at home. Which means weeks without any of her parents. If S4 were real, I’d feel truly sorry for little Rosie.

In TLD, Rosie is more absent than her dead mother! While Mary haunts the episode, all we hear about the baby is John’s tremendous guilt for neglecting and abandoning her (which he manages to do completely). John does seem to have enough spare time and energy to go on another case with Sherlock, though, in the middle of his therapy session. At the end of TLD, all is supposedly fine again with Rosie (until John gets shot with a tranquiliser), but we never get to see it. But then in TFP John goes on a long journey with Sherlock to a far away island, and not a word about Rosie. She’s not even present when John receives Mary’s DVD at home. At the end she’s suddenly there again, though, without any comment. 

Based on this, it doesn’t seem farfetched to ask if this little character is even supposed to be real. There’s a subtle hint in TLD which could point in this skeptic direction: 

Sherlock: “And, of course, I hadn’t really anticipated that I’d hallucinated meeting his daughter.” “Still a bit troubled by the daughter. Did seem very real, and she gave me information I couldn’t have acquired elsewhere.” 

John: “But she wasn’t ever here?”

An earlier quote from TGG could also question John’s fatherhood: ”Of course he’s not the boy’s father - look at the turnups on his jeans!” (Sherlock while watching telly with John in TGG, right after the fourth ‘pip’).

And - of course - if S4 is all imaginary, only happening in Sherlock’s head, Rosie would probably not even have been born yet. 

There are also some more subtle hints about Rosie’s narrative function: John’s guilt about cheating on Mary in TLD is connected to the baby. John specifically mentions that he was “cheating” on Mary while she was taking care of Rosie: JOHN (to Ghost!Mary): “We texted constantly. You wanna know when? Every time you left the room, that’s when.  When you were feeding our daughter; when you were stopping her from crying – that’s when.” This does make the (otherwise rather exaggerated) texting affair sound a bit more damning for John, doesn’t it? ;)  If this is all taking place inside Sherlock’s head, it might rather reflect one of Sherlock’s (possibly) major excuses to himself for not confessing his true feelings to John; it might (once the baby is born) disrupt a whole family and affect an innocent little child.

John and Mary’s relationship

The other day I took to re-watch this little piece of extra material from S4: statements by Martin Freeman and Amanda Abbington about John’s and Mary’s relationship (X). Every time I see this video I’m just laughing so hard. Please don’t miss how Martin is struggling to keep a straight face without smiling, after claiming “they’ve been through stuff already in S3 that would test any couple.” (Yep. Like the discovery that Mary is actually a contract killer who shot his best friend and hasn’t even revealed her real name to John). Or how Amanda avoids looking at the camera when she’s lying talking about Mary’s feelings towards John, closing her eyes and shaking her head. Great acting! :)

I mean, this cannot even be intended to fool anyone; I think this is meant to signal to the audience that the marriage we’re seeing is a dishonest, superficial construction made up of empty words. It’s very similar to the scene in HLV where Sherlock tells John about his ‘relationship’ with Janine. Platitudes like “we’re in a good place” are not only included, but also called out in the very same dialogue. John: “You got that from a book!”  Sherlock: “Everyone got that from a book!”. In the video clip, overly sweet violin music is playing when Martin and Amanda talk about their characters’ supposed deep love for each other, but this is mixed up with sitcom-like scenes where this love is made very hard to believe in, like Mary about to give birth in the car and roaring to her husband to pull over, or John telling Mary that he simply intends to forget about a recent past where she very nearly murdered his best friend.  

John’s marriage actually seems terrible from start; he can’t even keep himself off Sherlock’s blog comments during his own honeymoon. Which I believe is canon consistent; in ACD’s stories Mary Morstan even encourages Watson to never leave Holmes’ side. And the bad marriage is also confirmed in HLV by Wiggins’ and Sherlock’s deductions about John’s cycling to work and keeping his shirts ‘folded and ready to leave’ at any moment.

But what’s Mary’s position in this? Let’s say, as a mental experiment, that she knows from start about John’s feelings for Sherlock. Why would she want to be together with, and even go on to marry, a man who is obviously in love with someone else? Well, while I don’t buy the facade-climbing Ninja!Mary who tries to kill Sherlock in HLV, she could still be dishonest in her approach to John. She could still be on some sort of mission related to Sherlock, where her role simply is to get in between John and Sherlock, while she actually is together with someone else (and even carrying that someone’s child). Her aim could be to hurt Sherlock as much as possible, for a specific reason. 

As far as I see in TEH, Mary seems suspiciously eager to befriend Sherlock. Instead of behaving like one would expect from someone in love who just got their special moment ruined by a rival; with anger or at least annoyance, and of course supporting the beloved - Mary immediately sides with Sherlock.

And she seems to side with him most of all on an intellectual level, taking part in his explanations of how he managed to fake his death.

“Oh, he would have needed a confidant...”

So - what can we deduce about Mary?

If everything we see in the show after TSoT only has happened inside Sherlock’s head (as I’ve tried to make a case for in this meta series), from this follows logically that in Sherlock’s ‘reality’, there is no Assasin!Mary, no SecretAgent!Mary, no Martyr!Mary and - of course - no Ghost!Mary. Because up until the wedding, Mary seemed to be just an ordinary woman. The character’s appearance from HLV and onwards would all be fabrications of Sherlock’s drug-influenced mind, albeit loaded with a lot of metaphorical meaning from his subconscious. 

But Mary still seems to exist on some level, doesn’t she? She is referred to by John on his blog, talked about by other people on the blog (including Sherlock), and she even makes comments on it on no less than ten occasions. On the blog, John is clear about getting married to Mary. And after Sherlock’s final blog post ‘The Sign of Three’, it also gets obvious that Mary is now pregnant. 

And – most importantly – if S4 is all-fake, this also means that in Sherlock’s ‘reality’, Mary’s drama-loaded death in TST never happened. Mary is still alive! So if Mary is a ‘façade’, a ‘beard’ and/or a mirror for Sherlock on a meta- and sub-textual level, who is she on the textual level? Well, I think there are some clues in the show, and also a lot of subtext material in ACD canon to draw from, which might have been developed into actual story line in the show.  

And this will bring us to the second half of this meta, which you can find here (X).

Tagging some people who might be interested: @raggedyblue​ @ebaeschnbliah​ @sarahthecoat​ @gosherlocked​ @loveismyrevolution​ @sagestreet​​ @tjlcisthenewsexy​​ @elldotsee​​ @88thparallel​​ @devoursjohnlock​​ @sherlock-overflow-error​​ @yeah-oh-shit​

[caassttieel]

(Misha Collins, ageless, cismale, he/him) Well if it isn’t CASTIEL (aka Cas). Rumour is that they’re an ANGEL from SUPERNATURAL and they found their way to Devil Hills, KS 3 DAYS AGO. They can be a bit COMPLEX & IDEALISTIC, but some of that is made up by their tendency to be COURAGEOUS & ALTURISTIC. One of their top played songs is TRAVELLING ON by LED ZEPPLIN. Some sights and sounds that embody them are THE GLINT OF SLIVER, SMELL OF COFFEE, GLOWING LIGHT. Hopefully, they pick the right side of things or stay out of the way.

_______________________________________________________________

HISTORY

An angel almost as old as time itself. Charged with watching over humanity for millennia, Castiel is able to recall tales of evolution, ancient civilisation and bore witness to infamous biblical tales. Until 2009…

Sent to Hell with an army of angels to rescue Dean Winchester from the pit, Castiel was the one to raise him from perdition as heaven believed he could help stop the apocalypse. His true form is as tall as the Chrysler building and unable to be shown to most humans as it would blind them. So, in order to walk the Earth, Castiel uses the vessel of a devote man who gave the angel permission to possess him. This is how he was first introduced to Sam and Dean who had never seen or heard of angels before. They had never seen anything that was powerful enough to smite a demon by simply touching it, or able to manipulate time, or seemingly unable to kill.

The angel had seldom interacted with humans before and finds many things such as the fluidity of human emotion and reason baffling. Therefore, Cas appears blunt and awkward in conversation initially but with time, he develops more empathy and starts to see the beauty in the flaws of humans.

Castiel became involved with the Winchester brothers and their mission to prevent Lucifer from being freed from Hell. These ties became more personal over time when his fellow angels betrayed him and had plotted to bring on the apocalypse all along. He broke allegiance with Heaven, losing some of his power, but gaining allies with the hunters and eventually becoming successful at locking Lucifer and Michael in the cage together, avoiding the end of the world. In this fight, Castiel was killed by Lucifer and resurrected by God into a stronger, more powerful rank of angel (seraph). This solidified his newfound free will.

The threat of the Apocalypse loomed once again and Castiel chose to lead an army of rebel angels to fight the archangel, Raphael. The angelic battles resulted in Cas becoming more distanced from the Winchesters and responded to less and less of their calls. The brothers were unable to grasp the severity of Cas’ situation. In his desperation, having realised his army were unable to beat Raphael alone, Cas teamed up with the demon (Crowley) to ultimately betray him and ingest all the souls from Purgatory. This provided Castiel with powers much stronger than his rivals who he did not hesitate to destroy. However, the potency of the power and souls inside of him manipulated Cas into believing that he was the new God. The ancient, evil souls from Purgatory (Leviathan) possessed Castiel - killing him.

Resurrected by God once again, Castiel practiced as a faith healer known as Emmanuel. He was unable to recollect that he was an angel or had even recognise his friend Dean Winchester (who he had once stated shared a profound bond with Cas) Once reminded of who he was, the angel had great regret and shame surrounding what he had done and ventured to save Sam Winchester from his own mind by taking on the man’s torture-fuelled madness. This attempt at redemption left the angel in a catatonic state.

Castiel only woke once again as Sam and Dean had uncovered the word of God which sent a piercing signal to all angels that a prophet had been anointed. He is very knowledgeable on biblical lore and is able to help the Winchesters identify and use the tablet to discover how to kill the leviathan that had been unleashed on the world by Cas. Dean and Cas were standing next to the leviathan leader when they killed him - the act sending the pair to Purgatory.

Upon entering Purgatory, Castiel left Dean to fight off the mob monsters alone as Cas knew that his angelic presence acted as a beacon for monsters to come and try to kill him. Dean had teamed up with a vampire who had a plan to help the trio escape from Purgatory but Castiel resisted this plan, insisting that it wouldn’t work for him and he would only put Dean in more danger by accompanying him. Refusing to take no for an answer, Castiel went along with Dean’s plan but pulled away from Dean at the last minute to ensure the man’s survival and serve penance in Purgatory for his wrongdoings.

Castiel was mysteriously freed from Purgatory and returned to the brothers before later finding out that he and many other angels were being controlled by the angel, Naomi. Naomi forced Cas to carry out the assassination of Dean (whom she thought Cas had cared too much for) many times and compelled him to execute his friend for the final time in order to secure the angel tablet for heaven. Fortunately, upon touching the tablet, the connection between heaven and Castiel was cut off allowing him to be free-thinking once again. The angel healed Dean of the wounds he had inflicted on him before fleeing - on the run from Heaven. Although he eventually managed to escape Naomi’s control, he was manipulated by the angel Metatron into completing a ritual caused all Angels in heaven to fall to Earth. The ritual involved Metatron stealing Castiel’s angelic grace, leaving him human.

PERSONALITY

Initially Castiel displayed the same cold, impulsive and apathic traits as most angels but begins to question the morality of his actions the more he is surrounded by humans on Earth. He learned to become more empathetic and even developed a strong relationship with Dean Winchester - who he feels sworn to protect despite his other obligations. Furthermore, Cas now sees human’s as incredible, flawed works of art and feels it is his duty to protect as many as he can alongside the Winchesters.

Compared to other angels, Castiel shows great humility and deeply regrets his actions that have caused harm. He tries to redeem himself regularly by unburdening the Winchesters, healing the sick and doing his best to do what he believes is right by humanity. However, the angel can be idealistic and naïve in his acts of bravery. He often thinks little about consequences, even now, due to his tactless and straightforward behaviour, putting the needs of the many over the few. He believes in freewill and that everyone should be able to choose their path and do what they think is right. Despite this, Castiel trusts and relies on the input from the Winchesters who he sees as role models for making the right decisions. Further influencing his tendencies for self-sacrifice.

[osleyakomwonkru]

The Failure of Experience: Team Adults and the Destruction of Octavia Blake

(No S6 information here, this is all from S5)

Let’s be clear about one thing. Regardless of whether or not you agree with any of the characters’ specific actions or not, or which character’s side you come down on, there’s one indisputable truth about season 5: The adults of the bunker (Kane, Abby, Indra, and to a lesser extent Jaha and Gaia) made a traumatized and unstable teenager with anger management issues their leader, forced her to make impossible and horrific life-or-death choices, and then abandoned her to face the repercussions, both personal and political, on her own, disavowing any responsibility or complicity in what she became.

This is despicable on so many levels, and the reason why Kane, Abby and Indra occupy three of the five spots on my “most hated The 100 characters” list for the season - which is a damn shame, because Kane had been one of my favourites since season 2. His relationship with Octavia, as well as the relationship between the Blake siblings, have always been my favourite non-romantic relationships on the show, and having both of them shattered to pieces in season 5 was just devastating.

Jaha

One of the biggest tragedies of Octavia’s story is that the bunker forced her to become her greatest enemy - the same kind of ruthless leader that controlled the Ark of her childhood and forced her to live under the floor. For Octavia, Jaha was the embodiment of all she hated, since he had been the Chancellor, though Kane and Abby were also complicit.

So the conversation she had to have with Jaha in 5x02, and where he told her to make the Grounders stand down otherwise he wasn’t going to open the doors to the farm - you can see the light go out of her eyes when she knows the kinds of decisions she’s going to be faced with now. What she’s going to have to do to keep her people alive. And she hates him - and herself - for needing to do it.

But at the same time, while Jaha gave her the tools and blueprint to follow, thus beginning the creation of her tragedy, but he wasn’t the one responsible for breaking her. For destroying her. That blame sits primarily on Kane and Abby’s shoulders, as we’ll get into below.

I think that had Jaha lived, he would have been the guidance that could have prevented Octavia’s destruction - unlike the other adults, he didn’t judge the younger generation, but tried to provide guidance whenever he could. This is because he knew he had no moral high ground to judge from. He has a similar discussion in 4x02 with Clarke as he does in 5x02 with Octavia, and I don’t think that’s an accident. His words to Clarke there also wouldn’t have been out of place to Octavia here: “No leader starts out wanting to lie, or imprison, or execute their people. The decisions you face just whittle you down piece by piece.”

Jaha was the best surviving member of Team Adults (I liked Sinclair better), but now he was gone too - leaving Octavia with those of questionable morals and advisory capacity.

Gaia

Now, Gaia isn’t an adult like the others, she’s probably of the same age as Octavia herself (and Tati Gabrielle is in fact a decade younger than Marie Avgeropoulos), but her position of authority as a Flamekeeper and her resulting influence on Octavia merits her inclusion on this list.

I think the biggest flaw when it comes to Gaia in season 5 is that we didn’t see the alleged “influence” that she had on Octavia. Indra references it a number of times, and we see Gaia there with her in 5x02, but that’s all. Gaia is completely absent from the Dark Year flashbacks, and as I described in this post I don’t think that’s an accident on the show creators’ parts. Nor was the fact that we didn’t actually see Gaia’s alleged influence on Octavia. Those are all points I will address in a later post, however.

What we do know, however, is that Gaia was instrumental in creating the Blodreina cult (whenever it happened, it didn’t after the farm mutiny, that much is clear and again something I’ll get back to), she was even the leader of it, as we saw at the fights in the arena. But despite this intense loyalty to Octavia, Gaia was ready to turn tail as soon as a Nightblood showed up. Her old faith wasn’t as dead as she thought it could have been.

However, it should be noted that Gaia was still loyal to Octavia, even after discovering what Madi was - she was only turned against Octavia when Indra, her own mother, manipulated her for her own purposes, so that she would in turn manipulate Madi into taking the Flame. I don’t think Gaia (or Madi, for that matter) knew the truth of why Octavia was “sick”. Indra and Bellamy did, but they kept their cards close to their chest and didn’t reveal that to anyone else, especially not Gaia or Madi, who were loyal to Octavia.

Indra

To her credit, Indra does (privately) acknowledge the part she played in destroying Octavia, unlike Abby and Kane. However, that does not absolve her of her sins.

One thing that bothers me about Indra - and always has, I guess you could say - is that she’s simultaneously loyal to a fault and the traitor behind the curtain. This hypocrisy is a dangerous combination. Take her early appearances in season 2 and 3 - she’s exceedingly loyal to Lexa and the throne of the Commanders, even when it pains her to be so. But at the same time, she goes behind Lexa’s back when the moment suits her - such as when she gave Lincoln the means to escape at the end of season 2.

It could be said that she did this for Octavia - because each instance where she was pained by her loyalty to the Commanders was also a situation where Octavia was somehow involved (such as leaving when Lexa sounded the retreat, and when she left Bellamy in the cave when the new ascension call sounded). And indeed, by the beginning of season 4, with no Commander on the throne, Indra’s loyalty shifts completely to Octavia, as it were. Indra is the first to embrace the idea of Wonkru, and even the one who inspires her to think in that direction in the first place - “I taught you to fight. But who you fight for is up to you.”

But I guess it shouldn’t be any surprise that her old behavioural patterns continued in the bunker, except this time Octavia was the leader she simultaneously supported and undermined at the same time.

She didn’t appear to try to convince Kane of the necessity of cannibalism, even though she was the most pragmatic of the bunch about it. She bent rules to allow Kane and Abby to see each other before Kane’s fight. She released Kane and made it possible for him to escape - subsequently setting in motion all of the conflict of season 5. Then she worked alongside Bellamy and Clarke to foil Octavia’s plans and ultimately depose her.

But why? That’s the answer we never get. She even agreed with a lot of Octavia’s more brutal plans - she clearly says to Bellamy and Clarke “good plan” with regards to the worms - but still for some reason works against her, under the guise of “protecting Octavia from herself”.

Indra knows Octavia better than almost any other living character. She knows the pain that Octavia went through as a result of the Dark Year - and she knows that she stood by and let it happen. But instead of supporting her and fighting with her, she worked against her, taking away her agency - which she would know is the most hurtful betrayal of all.

Indra spent 30+ years as a Trikru warrior and war chief, ready to fight at the slightest insult (not even provocation, just insult was enough), especially against Skaikru or Azgeda. But after six years in the bunker, she wants to make peace with an enemy that they have absolutely no reason to trust? Gaia lampshades this entire situation in 5x09 - “Suddenly you’re a peacemaker, mother?” Gaia doesn’t buy it either. None of it makes sense.

So for all of Indra’s claims at the end of season 4, where Octavia says that she didn’t do this on her own and Indra replies “No leader ever does” - Indra was no different than the others, where she abandoned the girl she molded into the leader she became. Great mentoring there, seda.

Abby

One thing I didn’t expect 5x11 The Dark Year to do was give me sympathy for Abby. I’ve never liked Abby, ever, and while she’s still on my top 5 hate list, this episode did bump her down a spot or two. Because there’s a reason why we’re watching Octavia’s tragedy through Abby’s eyes in this episode - because it isn’t only Octavia’s tragedy, it is Abby’s too. The big difference, however, being that no one seemed to know the role that Abby had played.

Of course, it still ate her up inside and that’s why she was consumed by her addiction, but leaving the public burden on Octavia’s shoulders, that’s the part that I consider unforgivable. There was so much that Abby could have done to make the Dark Year less awful than it could have been, for Octavia as well as Wonkru as a whole.

As a doctor and a part of Octavia’s inner circle, she would have commanded respect. She should have stood up with Octavia in the cafeteria, and told them what she told Octavia - that choosing death by starvation wasn’t just a personal choice, it was a choice that would affect everyone, because if people starved to death, they wouldn’t be able to supply adequate nutrition to those who were willing to eat and make sure the human race survived. In her capacity as a doctor, people would believe her. Instead, she just stood by and watched.

Some might say that Abby didn’t know that Octavia would kill to get resisters to submit, but I don’t think that’s true. When Octavia asks “So what do you want me to do? Make it a crime not to be a cannibal?”, Abby nods. She knows what it means to be a criminal in the bunker. She knows that means death. When Kane questions her as he comes in with “what’s with the guns?” she says nothing, clearly understanding why they’re there.

Abby knew exactly the burden she was placing on Octavia’s shoulders. She said “the Blight generation, they had a choice, and they never recovered from it. The people who ate, had to watch the people who didn’t eat die slowly. And their guilt nearly destroyed them” - this isn’t to convince Octavia of the necessity of everyone eating, this is to convince her to take the burden of that guilt onto herself by removing their choice.

Abby asked a 19 year old girl to bear all of the guilt and horror of roughly a thousand people, the last remnants of humanity, so that they would survive. No wonder Abby has flipped perspectives with Kane since S1 - in S1 she wanted to make sure the human race deserved to survive, now she was willing to sacrifice the soul of a teenage girl to make it happen. S1 Abby would have never done that.

Kane

Kane, Kane, Kane. Where do I even start? As I said above, Kane was one of my favourite characters in seasons two through four, so I’m really disappointed that he’s now at the top of my most hated list.

I know a common complaint about season 5 is that people feel that they don’t recognize the characters they’ve come to know and love. In most cases, I don’t agree. I do recognize most of the characters, they are the same characters we know and love, just with six more years on them in differing extreme circumstances. The cases I do agree on, however, are Kane and Bellamy (an to an extent Clarke, but Bellamy and Clarke we’ll talk about in another post). Kane has often played the part of a self-righteous bastard, but in doing so, he’s usually provided options, solutions, other ways from what people were doing at the time.

However, here he offers no such options, and that’s the part that I find most frustrating. He’s opposed to cannibalism, but he knows what the stakes are, and still doesn’t suggest another option, even when Octavia begs him for it. As I outlined in this post, he knew exactly the situations Octavia had to lead through in the bunker - because he’d done it himself. If he knew where and when he made mistakes in his time as a leader on the Ark, he damn well should have been speaking up with other options to Octavia, instead of just offering “no”.

And then to discover in 5x12 that Kane knew that Abby had forced Octavia’s hand into making people eat - and that he didn’t hold Abby responsible at all - that was despicable on so many levels. I mean, what level of cognitive dissonance is there at play in this man’s head? Yes, Octavia made the choice to pull the trigger, but she wouldn’t have put herself in that position in the first place if Abby hadn’t convinced her of the necessity of it. Abby definitely has moral culpability on this matter, as does Kane himself, yet somehow he feels he can blame Octavia for all of it? As if.

That horrific situation aside, there’s the difference between Kane in the bunker and Kane out of the bunker. Let’s dive into this one shall we?

No one liked the bunker. Everyone wanted out of it, Octavia included (and perhaps more than anyone else, given the burdens she carried). The sealed bunker was the circumstance that created all of the horror, so when the bunker was opened, that meant everything finally had the opportunity to change, after six long terrible years.

So then why is it that when that obstacle was removed, that Kane went running for the hills, when up until the very moment the bunker was opened, he was still trying to reach out to Octavia? Even as she was about to take his head off, he’s telling her “it’s not too late”.

Had the bunker stayed sealed, it would have been too late for him. But it opened, and he survived. This was the prime opportunity for him return to those words - now that everything could be different since they weren’t trapped anymore. But he didn’t. He and Abby told Clarke that talking to Octavia would be hopeless, but had they even tried, now that the bunker was opened? Nope. Instead they helped along a war that would then last the rest of the season.

I also wonder just how much he told Diyoza. Did he tell Diyoza about the cannibalism? About the rise of the Red Queen? What they all did in the past - both on the ground and on the Ark? In 5x08 he also starts his sanctimonious pageantry at Diyoza, and while he talks about how he knows what it’s like to make the bad choices, I don’t know if she knows the extent of the one’s he has made. 

But really, all of the above details really pale to what Kane’s most horrible deed was - and that was the betrayal of Wonkru to McCreary.

There was absolutely no justification for that. None.

I don’t care what he thought about Octavia. I don’t care if all of the evil that he believed of her was 100% true. I don’t care if she spent six years sitting on a throne of blood eating babies and cackling like a maniac (I mean, she didn’t, but for argument’s sake). That does not justify sacrificing the innocents of Wonkru in the hopes of taking her out too.

Maybe Kane believes that McCreary wouldn’t have slaughtered them all. Which would make him a naive idiot, because he knew exactly what kind of a man McCreary was. And even if he wasn’t completely clear on it, his partner in crime Diyoza certainly was. Expecting anything but total annihilation from McCreary was monumentally foolish and has no justification.

Octavia never wanted to lead. She never wanted to have to make horrific choices to keep what was left of humanity alive. And she shouldn’t have had to - she had plenty of people whispering in her ear with what to do and what not to do. She took their advice, she learned their lessons, she tried to do what they hadn’t ever been able to do - unify people and give them a chance to survive instead of being sent straight to the execution chamber. 

But instead of congratulating her for her achievements, or helping her through the hard times, or taking some goddamn responsibility for their own roles in the drama - they abandoned her. They disowned her, they tried to kill her, they destroyed her.

They put the world on her shoulders, and let it slowly crush her. And that’s unforgivable.

[y-the-youthful]

Chapter One: The Average Day

Got bored so I decided to start writing a story about Yoriko’s time in Wammy’s House with all that spooky shit going on. Hope you enjoy!

Though golden hair and tanned freckled skin called forth a child of summer, of a past life of intense heat and turquoise ocean, the reflection on the mirror told of frosted eyes, one almost complete black, and scars painted with harsh strokes; the madness of an artist caught in the delirium of too much drink. If she tiled her head one way, the scar was thin enough that it could almost be mistaken for a mismatched tan, but the dilated pupil of her eye and the scar above her head would give her away. If she tilted it the other way there was little escaping the slash of the knife that had, at one point, exposed her jaw. Even make-up could hide no such thing, and she had very little interest in wearing it in the first place; the sheer effort that would be involved in her already crowded routine would render her mad.

So, it was with melancholia that she removed the cotton nightgown. It did her a great discomfort to look down at the body and see what it had become in a matter of only a few years; only seven. She disliked looking down at herself and seeing the reflection of her hardships, caught in a constant battle of pride of survival and grief for time stolen from her.

With a bit more force than necessary, she tightened the lace of her chemise, hoping to shield the scars there. Freckled shoulders stood proud against the frills; a direct contrast to the delicate role she was so determined to play. Over the bloomers she pulled on her garter belt, opening the lower drawer of her vanity desk and taking out her stockings; black which she thought certainly appropriate for the weather. Tying them to the garter belt, it was as she knelt down to put on her shoes, always boots of some sort, that she felt rather than heard her bedroom door creep open.

She knew that it had been locked the night before; she had checked at least five times. Yet she knew it to be open by the cold chill of the corridor leading into the abandoned East Wing of which she was the only living inhabitant. She only had to glance at the vanity mirror for a moment to confirm that it had been pushed all the way open, the inky black of early morning staring at her.

She did not stare long, knowing that if she were to do so she might begin to see things in that darkness that were either an indication of the disturbances within her own mind, or a suggestion of something far worse. She finished lacing her boots before promptly covering her undergarments, considerably modest for others but certainly scandalous for her, with petticoats. Thin cotton followed by a quilted one, delicate patterns having been stitched onto its surface during the many holidays in which the children were simply not in the house or during days off. She was rather proud of the Cyclamens lonesome nature stitched along the bottom, the pinks and greens adding colour to what would otherwise be a bleak outfit well suited for the bleak weather of the English countryside.

Brushing herself of invisible dust, she turned without looking at the door, walking to her bed. She had already sorted it to look untouched, hoping to pack in the warmth. She tried to not look surprised at the fact that her clothes were moved to the pillow where they had been seated on her armchair before, nor did she comment on the distinct odour of fresh earth that had permeated the room as she retrieved the clothes that were slightly too cold for her comfort. She was never a particular fan of the cold, but she had grown used to it over the years when it was within the standard weather of south England.

The thick cream skirt went on first, an almost polkadot design along its surface. Frill kept it distinctly sweet and could almost deceive her into thinking that she was youthful and full of spring, this belief continued with the long sleeved blouse, always long sleeved, of equal colour with the brown ribbons at the ends of the sleeves pulled in tight to make the rest of the sleeve puffy. It was intended to make her look cuter than she was, she thought, and that was why she had bought it. The frill around the buttons and neck only added to the illusion, hiding the rest of her scars that most modern shirts could not achieve, completely with a dark brown bow that was attached to the final button to save the hassle of tying one herself.

The illusion began to wilt with the reddish brown skirt that followed after, the mature lace of black lacing the bottom. It was followed soon by the dress that would be seen by the public. It was almost black, but not quite, with thin stripes of brown running up its shape to give a distinct pinstripe appearance. Its v-shaped collar exposed the white underneath and she supposed that it gave the illusion of cheer that she so often gave around others. After buckling the sleeves and buttoning its front, she willed herself to pull her hair free of the many layers, only to find that it had already been pulled free.

She had not noticed, but as soon as she acknowledged it the chill of the corridor came to her once again. Its creaking presence like the stare of a cat as she slept. Her awareness of it was potent, and difficult to ignore, but it had been a year since she had been in the household and she was determined to hope that if she simply ignored it then perhaps its presence would torment her no further than it had done so far. That if she willed it to not exist then it would not.

Besides, she thought with increased muster, doors that creaked open due to bad locks and strange smells were entirely common in old households and she could tell herself often that her hair had simply not been caught in the many layers of clothes without feeling too shaky on the matter.

With such firm thoughts in mind, she returned to her vanity desk and pulled out the only jewellery she would ever wear on a daily basis. It was not too elaborate, a brooch with little decoration, but held within its glass case was a single lock of auburn hair bleached orange. Even before she came to the household she had always carried it with her, a piece of a person long gone to always keep close to her heart. She attached it over the ribbon, and pulled on her gloves; concealing the last of her old wounds that could be hidden.

“There, now you are ready for the children.” She said, nodding to her reflection. It was only as she stood up that she put on her glasses, almost flinching at what she saw in their lenses before she put them on. In the reflection of the glass she could see a distinct darkness behind her where she could see no such thing in the mirror. Its shape was almost human, but too blurred and too small to be determined. Thinking it a stain, she rubbed at the glasses before putting them on her face. When she turned, there was no such presence behind her.

She had a routine to the household that involved her waking up at such early and accursed hours that were only significantly more damned as the days became shorter. During the summer, five in the morning had some source of light and she had a better chance of seeing what she was doing, but it was late Autumn then and she had to rely on her torch to guide her as to turn on the main lights would be to wake the children, and heavens above that was a dangerous thing to do with such an unpredictable lot.

She could distinctly recall a certain child screaming and throwing his toys at her when she did it last, and she learned very quickly that though she was the housekeeper it was unwise to suggest that the children were well-behaved.

So, she walked in almost complete dangerous, the necessary stealth of past years serving her once again as she kept in the corridors; even she could not hear her footsteps as she left the East Wing and all its chills to go into the downstairs kitchen to eat. It would be the only time she was certain to have a meal without interruption as the only people that woke at such an hour were the older children either because of the common trope of insomnia in the house or because they had just returned from the town and were recovering from behaviour she would certainly not approve of but could not prove.

She was not surprised to see one such individual come down the stairs shortly after she finished making her porridge, drowning it in honey. If he was startled by her presence, he did not show it.

“It was a rough night, I suppose?” She asked, glancing at his ruffled hair and the thick bags under his eyes. He looked disturbed as he sat down across from the wooden table.

“Do you ever sleep, Miss Kaneshiro?”

“Depends on the day.” She dug in, but waited for him to speak. Like many children in the household, she knew him to have unusual habits and ticks and observed them as he pulled impulsively at his left ear, stretching the lobe. She had noted some time ago that the left lobe was actually longer than the right because of this.

“It was really loud last night. Someone was walking back and forth upstairs.” He grumbled, and she poured him a cup of tea in sympathy.

“Upstairs? Surely it was just the house settling? The entire attic is locked and I have the only keys there.” He scoffed, adding five spoons of sugar to his tea and stirring aggressively. The entire household had a bizarre obsession with adding far more sugar than necessary to things that did not need so much sugar. She had seen someone dip broccoli in caramel sauce once before and promptly hid it to prevent her eyes from seeing such a thing ever again.

“No, it was definitely someone walking around. Sounded like they were pacing too. Heavy boots.” She thought it a peculiar thing and decided that she would have to investigate the attic before she retired to her bed that night. It would be troublesome if children got in there; if not for the many hazards then at least for the fact that she personally thought it a bad omen.

The day continued in the way it always did. Children went to school, she helped with meals, she did paperwork, she checked on the children unable to go to class, she kept things in order, and when her breaks came she rested.

Though it was a cold day, and certainly it was getting colder still, they were allowed to play outside. The gates were shut with good reason as no guests were expected and there had been far too many incidents in the past of children playing hide and seek in the nearby forest and getting lost. One had caught hypothermia in such recklessness, and she would always glance at the gates just to make sure no one was trying to climb them.

There had been no supervisor beyond her that day for the original supervisor had been struck with a sudden illness the day before and could barely move out of her bed. She had personally given them medicine to help recover. She mostly stood by the stairs as most of the children were in the playground, but she was always watching three others that were closer to the black iron fence; the main troublemakers she had learned.

A fourth figure stood on the other side of the fence, pinning her with its cold gaze. She could not see it from such a distance, but she could feel its eyes on her. Chilled like winter frost, she found herself paralysed beneath its intense stare.

She knew in an instant that it had been one of the children that had become lost in the forest before and had not returned. As quickly as the thought entered her mind, she shook it away violently. Such wild fantasy would do her no good, and when she focused her eyes once again on the spot, she found no figure there.

“This is the curse of so little sleep.” She stated grimly, knowing that her past pattern of barely three hours was leading her into a sharp decline. “Perhaps I should ask for a holiday. Heavens knows I am fortunate to get such things.” She could not recall the last holiday she actually had; usually her only breaks were when the children were on holiday and even then, she was working. “I could always threaten to take them to court if they refuse.”

It was an amusing thought, but this household was well beyond the laws of the country. They could work her to death itself and they would not be dealt with. Still, she thought that she had earned a respectable enough reputation at this point that they would want to keep her on rather than having to deal with her more troublesome nature. There were still scars in the household where she had her brother had rebelled.

“A rest shall be good.” She concluded. Even if it was a single day to catch nine hours of sleep, it would be enough for her.

So, she left the concept of the ghost behind and concluded that when she next passed Mr Wammy’s office she would request a vacation.

[love-myinnercoach]

Inner Voice

If you are interested in developing your best self, keep listening. During this podcast series I will be exploring self-coaching tools and asking can they really help you achieve your full potential and make your dreams reality.

In episode 2 titled Head full of dreams, the title was inspired by the Cold Play song, I will be exploring the Inner voice and how it can be used to help you to succeed

Have you ever wondered why you don’t always achieve what you really want to do?

What stops you from following your dreams or prevents you from achieving or sustaining the goals you have set for yourself?

Why do those New Year resolutions never get past January?

Could your Inner Voice and be holding you back.

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I’ve been involved in mentoring and coaching other people for most of my career but a couple of years ago I started to look into self-coaching to help myself get over a difficult period in my life.

After watching the TED x talk I had a Eureka moment and I realised how my inner voice was stopping me from achieving some of my dreams and goals and still does on occasions. it doesn't take long for doubts to creep in and the voice to begin whispering and I realised self-coaching is not a one-time thing which will fix everything it’s something you need to be mindful of and work on every day.

Have you ever felt STUCK.

STUCK in a place in which you have difficulty escaping from. That STUCK place can inside your mind, a place which can limit your dreams. Our minds are wonderful places and can create wonderful ideas and solutions but sometimes it can also create a space in which ideas become STUCK when it tells you.

You won’t be able to do that, you will fail, everyone will laugh at you, it’s too hard.

From the outside looking in you may seem confident, committed, not scared to try something new, positive, optimistic. And all those things are true, you are all those things but within the boundaries you have made for yourself.

Within the comfortable places where you know you will succeed, where you know you have the power to change things.

But when something new appears on the horizon, something you’re not sure about, when you are pushed out of your comfort zone you can retreat back into,

You won’t be able to do that, you will fail, everyone will laugh at you, it’s too hard.

You may procrastinate, go back to your old ways, try to avoid it in the hope it will go away. But it doesn’t then you left feeling stressed, anxious and defeated because your dreams are still dreams and you are no closer to making them real.

Does this sound familiar to you. Can you relate to this? Many people have had similar experiences. I myself have this same inner voice.

Your inner voice is the voice only you hear, the voice that is with you from birth right through to death, the voice which gets you to where you want to be but also stop you from going to where you want to go.

This session will explore the inner voice the inner critic and look at how you can use your inner voice to work towards the goals you set for yourself

Amongst all the daily chatter that goes on around us and within our own minds its important to provide a thinking space for your thoughts to develop and help you achieve your goals. For me practising mindfulness provides that space.

Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or be overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.

Professor Mark Williams, former director of the Oxford Mindfulness Centre, says that mindfulness means knowing directly what is going on inside and outside ourselves, moment by moment.

He says

"It's easy to stop noticing the world around us. It's also easy to lose touch with the way our bodies are feeling and to end up living 'in our heads' – caught up in our thoughts without stopping to notice how those thoughts are driving our emotions and behaviour," he says.

"An important part of mindfulness is reconnecting with our bodies and the sensations they experience. This means waking up to the sights, sounds, smells and tastes of the present moment

"Another important part of mindfulness is an awareness of our thoughts and feelings as they happen moment to moment.

"It's about allowing ourselves to see the present moment clearly. When we do that, it can positively change the way we see ourselves and our lives."

Before you start on this journey of exploring your inner voice try a mindfulness moment. Head space is a good app to help you try out mindfulness.

This leads me nicely into the Thinking environment approach developed by Nancy Cline and  introduced to me by the fabulous Lou Mycroft during an Advanced Practitioner CPD day. I was immediately drawn to its simplicity and its effectiveness in creating a thinking space to solve problems which allows your brain time to sort through your thoughts and bring clarity to your thinking.

This approach can be used in many situations and although it is mainly used in groups or paired activities I feel can work well within self-coaching. Using some of the self-coaching principles to provide clarity to our own thoughts.

Today’s podcast explores the Inner Voice which is supported by the Thinking Environment principle of Feelings and recognising our own feelings and allowing sufficient emotional release to restore thinking.

I could do a whole podcast series on the Thinking Environment, but I’ll leave that to Lou Mycroft who is the expert. But I will be dipping in and out when I feel it is relevant. If you are interested in the Thinking Environment look up Nancy Kline’s book Time to Think or the website which will provide further information.

So back to the inner voice, inner critic, inner worrier whatever you want to call it is fine because it’s yours.

To explore this further I will pose some questions to see how the inner voice can sometimes work against you and stop you from progressing.

This isn’t to say your inner voice is a bad thing, but we need to recognise when its working for us and against us and adapt what we do to work towards a positive outcome. As with anything this is not a one fit for all and it’s certainly not something you can do once and all will be forever wonderful. It’s something you have to work at to reap the rewards.

So here are the questions to consider, you may want to pause the podcast to contemplate or not that’s up to you.

Think of a time you wanted to try or did something new but you didn’t do it or you felt you didn’t succeed at it.

Imagine the inner voice words in your head. Only you can see them.

What was your inner voice was saying to you when you didn’t complete a task or try something new.

What was you assuming that was stopping you?

So for example my inner voice said to me before recording this podcast series.

It won’t work, it will be too difficult to do.

I’m not techy, I won’t be able to do it.

No one will listen what’s the point, waste of time.

If they do listen, nobody will like it.

People may laugh think I’m foolish.

Just a few of comments my inner voice said to me, which stopped from pursuing this podcast for a long time.

Now just imagine by magic your inner voice words are is being displayed on national TV at peak viewing time. Everyone can see what you are thinking and saying to yourself.

What do you think people would think about you if they saw these words? If you find it difficult to imagine pretend these phrases are about someone else what would you be thinking about this person?

How do the words make you feel?

What body sensations do these emotions create?

For me every one might think

I’m unhappy, cynical, grumpy, narrow minded, anxious and not reliable or willing to try something new.

It made me feel moody, irritated, resentful, hopeless, regret, de-motivated.

This in turn created physical body sensations and I felt drained of energy, muscle tightness, nauseous, tired, unfocused, foggy mind ,low self-esteem, stressed and anxious.

Think about the words again and ask yourself

Would you want other people to feel that way about you?

Would you say these words and phrases to you friends and family when trying to support them?

So why would you say them to yourself???

To make the inner voice work for us we have to recognise how it can sometimes have a negative affect us and then work at rephrasing those words and phrases to make us feel better about ourselves and achieve our goals and aspirations.

So take a moment to look back on the inner voice which isn’t helping you and change what its saying so it does.

May new inner voice said

This is new Ill check it out and see what I have to do.

If I’m not sure how to do it I’ll get help.

It’s not my responsibility to make people listen or like it, I can’t control other people’s actions and thoughts. It’s their choice.

If people like it that’s a bonus.

I will feel good that I have learnt something new and tried something new.

It made me feel more, confident optimistic, open minded, motivated, with greater self-belief and was glad I tried something new.

It made me feel happy, energised, inspired and curious.

This in turn affected my physical body sensations and I felt more alert, focused, relaxed and able to think more clearly

It also had a secondary effect on others, my husband was inspired to create his own podcast and I’m hoping my fellow APs in the podcast group will take the plunge and create theirs. Also I am a positive role model for my children and when I say to them you can do anything you want to do you have to believe in yourself I am speaking from experience.

Wow all that just by changing my inner voice a little bit.

Just by changing the way you think about something can sometimes have a positive impact on what you do and the goals you want to achieve can be achievable.

Think of it like this.

You or someone else has identified an Event/ Circumstance/Goal you or they want you to accomplish

The next thing that happens is you Inner Voice sends thought to you these can be positive or negative but ultimately these thoughts will have an impact on what you do next.

Your thoughts will create feelings and these feeling will create emotions and body sensations.

From this you will decide the Actions you will take.

These actions will either provide the desired result or result in you not successfully achieving the desired result.  

To summarise

Your thoughts create feelings, emotions, body sensations which will provide a result of fulfilment or non- fulfilment.

 Remember

Only you can make the changes needed to succeed.

It’s up to you what you do with the information provided.

It’s up to you to decide if it’s something that you could use.

You have to take ownership of your life

Only you can achieve your goals make your dreams come true

It’s too easy to blame outside influences. This is something you can’t control.

But you can control how you react to them and adapt to make it work for you.

Be your best self.

I hope you have enjoyed the podcast and it has motivated you to explore you inner voice.

Join me for the next episode of the inner coach where we will be

Exploring incisive questions and how they can help you to succeed.

 If you knew that you do deserve success and success was possible, what would I do right now?