#and to clarify on the trafficking aspect

[beatsboy]

i wore their underwear today, in the back of my head i always know it’s buried underneath all of my own

i remember on our 3rd date, we went to sour prom at 1720 together. i was going to wear a dress, for the theme, and at the last minute, i decided not wear a suit (well, a tube top underneath a blazer and dress pants with heels) instead. when we got back to my place in anaheim, and as the other people in our group (this was the first time i’d introduced them to my friends) walked ahead to the house, i lagged behind and whispered in your ear: “i’m wearing your underwear.” walking ahead of them, i pulled down my pants, just a bit, to show them. it turned them on so much, chasing after me to confess this, i thought we’d fuck outside, right there. we did, but only after we got inside.

we had so much sex in the beginning. it was like we were ravenous. then there was the time when we didn’t have sex, after i’d been (technically) sex trafficked for a month and felt so far from my body. i didn’t know who i was as a sexual being outside of what i’d done in those motels. when we weren’t fucking, we did a lot of cocaine, though there were times when did both. there was a time when they spent all night trying to get me to cum, and of course, the drugs helped us stay awake, keep trying, and obviously, prevented us from doing that very thing. i don’t know if we stopped having sex for that long because of the drugs, or if we did that much drugs because we didn’t know what else to do now that we weren’t fucking. they told me things, though, when we were on drugs, that they’d never told me sober, let me in in ways they never really could after we both got sober. then, there was the time when we fucked all the time, when were sad, when we were anxious, when we were horny. when we were bored. when we were fighting. after that, came the period when we didn’t fuck. the very end of our relationship. i came, and so did they, but it was quickies, transactional, you’re stressed, let me help you cum. and then we broke up, and had some of the weirdest, gayest, horniest sex we’d ever had, probably because every time felt like the last time.

the last time we had sex was right after christmas. i didn’t tell anyone. my friends know about christmas, how they came to my side when i had the flu, and how they were there on the day of. but after then, there was a day when we had sex in the laundry room, one more time, they came over and i even told them about feelings i had for someone else. nothing crazy. just a quickie. they made me cum, i made them cum. and to think, that could be the last time. the funny thing is, it was supposed to be a “we’re horny, one last time.” but that feels so shitty. so cheap. i didn’t really believe that it would be our last time then. if i did, i would have grieved them in every kiss, every touch, every grip. i would have mourned them as i made love to them.

it’s been 10 months since they moved out, since the real division of our lives started, and when i say sometimes i’m over it and sometimes i’m not, when i’m sick, that is when i’m really not. i’ve been texting them today, i’m not gonna lie. and we talked on the phone.



maybe this is my final boss, to be hideously sick, alone in my apartment, with my thoughts, in my own little covid purgatory, locked in a 500 sqft box with nothing but me, my thoughts, my dog, and the dog i’m dogsitting. it is my box, though, and frankly, although i did go a little insane yesterday, today i finally see that i am so much more comfortable being ill in my tiny little box than i was in my old house with my roommates. i would be afraid to touch things in the kitchen out of fear of infecting them, i’d separate everything and quarantine in my room (though they would never do the same for me, even when i said i was immunocompromised and asked if we could be more cautious with that stuff). i don’t have to wear a mask when i go outside of my room, i don’t have to feel that thing you feel when you’re sick and you grew up in a “if you’re home sick, you better be literally asleep or taking medicine, and only if you have a fever” kind of household and you feel like if anyone perceives you doing anything other than being horizontal with your eyes closed you are either a) faking it or b) not taking care of yourself, i can just exist here, however is comfortable for me. the only thing i really have to do is take care of myself and the dogs. it’s a little harder with both of them, especially because the dog i’m taking care of pulls soooo much and that is not helping the pinched nerve in my shoulder like. at all. but she’s getting along with sweet pea for the most part (even though they mostly just leave each other alone) and just chills when we’re inside.

3 little beans in my 500 sqft box about to go to bed. for some reason, i can’t even stop night owling when i’m sick. sometimes it makes it worse because i have no schedule and i would rather sleep in the day?? is nightowling a predisposition? asking for a friend (me)

[vasyandii]

IM THROWING HANDS WITH NAK'S UNCLE FOR THE YEE-YEE HAIRCUT. Sir could've gone with the Asian parent method of using the bowl as a haircut template. Nak will end up like Dora, BUT ITS STILL BETTER THAN THE UNEVEN HAIRCUT-

Howdy Anon! It has come to my realization that,, not a lot of people know aspects of crime in Laos, so I'd like to take this opportunity to clarify some things and give insight! (which isn't bad! I'm always gonna be here to help and it's probably good people DIDN'T know)

For context, Laos has a big problem with Trafficking (drugs, human, sex, unpaid labour, etc.) it's been a huge problem in rural AND urban settings for as long as I remember. (my mom used to tell me to not go outside EVER without her or someone's gonna cut me open and sell my liver until we moved to the US xD she still does sometimes) But anyway, because of this, most parents do whatever they can to prevent their kids from being taken; maybe not to Naga's extreme, but I digress.

Naga had good intentions of making sure baby Nak isn't a potential target to organ traffickers by cutting her hair for a majority of her life.

He didn't HAVE to cut her hair so short and choppy each time, though. but he chose to anyway. With rough handling on a 5 year old.

I think the effects of certain actions come in ways that one doesn't expect. It could take years to fully realize that the actions one did to you can be linked to negative psychological effects. Yk

Idk tho! I'm kind of bad at explaining ATM since my head is foggy :0

[granulesofsand]

Hi, thank you for taking the time to read my question. This relates to your most recent post about institutional abuse - I will try to be as vague as possible, and you do not have to answer this or read this if you're not up for it.

TW: institutional abuse, organized abuse mention

At the end of the post, you said "institutional abuse is organized abuse." Is this a point you're willing to clarify? I mean this in the best faith possible - I underwent institutional abuse, and am seeking clarity on my experiences. It's perfectly ok if you're not up for answering this, and I don't expect you to be able to tell me what was abusive about my experience - hence, keeping it vague. Thank you for your time.

Sure! This is about abuse, and it is heavy. It’s okay if you can’t or don’t want to read through it. You can come back or leave it entirely, and we will understand however you proceed.

(We’re staying up for an event, forgive the lack of coherency)

While one perpetrator can prey upon a victim in an institution, institutional abuse implies the structure and dynamics forming the institution are inherently involved in the abuse. Even if an incident has only one active abuser, there are others who become perpetrators by allowing the abuse (explicitly or implicitly).

The details of the incident may not have the apparent extent of RAMCOA, but it is still organized abuse by definition. It’s up to the survivors whether to pursue the connection, and smaller communities can form within a larger umbrella.

Perpetrators can involve themselves by ignoring obvious signs of abuse (including if they aren’t trained, because it is a structural problem when laypeople are unaware and a dynamic one when authorities are unaware), making rules that permit abuse (even if they don’t understand exactly what they’re permitting, because that is both structural and dynamic), or by creating difficulty in obtaining evidence or pursuing justice (yes, police and office workers and security teams and other staff and the general culture of the institution and its enforcers, because external and internal affairs include people, dynamics, structures).

In an overt case of OA, a trafficking ring may include a child or several, their links to the ring, and their customers. Caregivers, torturers, and handlers are common features, as are connections in law enforcement, healthcare, or law.

In a covert case, a school may include a student or several, the initial contacts, and those who allow it to continue. Caregivers may have the same negligence if unrelated, those higher in year or position may become torturers, and the orchestrater may similarly be the initial perpetrator. Connections include law enforcement, security, and policy-makers.

It’s entirely possible for what was rampant bullying and an incident of SA to evolve into a trafficking ring or gangs. Use of ABA can quickly begin to include Torture-Based Mind Control. Those things, all RAMCOA, may already be in play and influencing the institution.

A smaller scale or lack of blaring tells doesn’t mean there is no OA. For the abusive instance to become institutional, it already has some level of organization. The definitions of each type of RAMCOA are simple, and there are survivors who fall somewhere along those lines without considering their trauma to have the trademark cruel and creativity.

We appreciate having the gradient known as it keeps us from facing the disbelief and fear that pervades the topic. There are people who understand us who have not seen our flavor of Horrors, and it’s good to have the variety.

It should be up to the survivors which aspects of their experience fit into the community as it is and whether they want to forge a space that does include those pieces. No community should remain stagnant for too long anyway, it leads to the same conditions unhealthy groups start with.

I’m not saying you’re well suited to every conversation, but I’ve yet to meet anyone/many who is. You can decide how to identify and where to speak up, and you are the best judge of your experience.

[grimoiresontape]

So You’re Interested In Necromancy

Hello there. A little raven told me you were interested in necromancy… 

After receiving positive feedback about the helpfulness of my post compiling my ever-expanding list of geomancy resources, I wanted to make one available on my work with the dead. Given that I have a number of courses and class recordings hosted by The Cauldron Black – and all available for purchase on their Class Archives – along with other class-bundles and course series on this site it just made sense to have them all in one place right here.

Radio Free Golgotha & Nights of Folk Necromancy

I would be remiss if I didn’t begin this post with a mention of the pod’ I ‘cast with my dear friend Jesse Hathaway-Diaz. Entitled as it is, folk necromancies of a variety of sorts are regularly discussed on Radio Free Golgotha.

You can also actually see as well as hear us talk a whole Night of Folk Necromancy hosted by Morbid at Hauser & Wirth, exploring a variety of encounters between the living and the dead; from accidental hauntings to deliberate conjuration of ghosts, and everything in between.

Jesse and I also co-mod (with esteemed pal Ben Joffe) the Liber AF group Folk Necromancy, where we drop the hottest new excavated tomb news, chat de-colonialism and ancestral foodways, share upcoming nigromantic events and much more.

All My History Is Necromantic

For those looking for a lively class recording bundled with primary source scans and scholarly resources giving historical rundown of early modern necromancy, look no further than my class-bundle, Raising the Dead: A History of Early Modern British Necromancy, which charts pre-modern contexts of death and dying, the use of corpses as materia and spell components, and various forms and instances of trafficking with shades of the dead.

  Getting Stuck In

For those looking to start their practical necromancings, my five-part course Necromancy for Beginners grounds students in historical understandings and examples of necromancy, presents the fundamentals of ancestor veneration for necromancers, offers techniques for working with the Great Dead who inspire and offer us wisdom from beyond the grave, outlines strategies for successfully working in graveyards and with your local dead, and imparts advice about dealing with restless and hungry shades. 

For those wanting to dig a little deeper, my modular series Advanced Necromancy for Beginners presents four independent but interlocking sets of teachings on various aspects of necromantic cunning:

Seeking To The Dead presents a variety of early modern approaches to ghost-work, from fallen angels to fairy intermediaries, and from alluring vapours to the cunning afterlives of good Genii, Magi ancestors, and the abetting dead.

Seeing in the Dark presents means and methods of focusing and deepening spirit contact, communication, and conjuration: from strange oils, ointments, and eye-washes, to clarifying smokes and asperings, and from dreaming charms to haunted pillows.

Of Smoke & Speech presents in-depth analysis of the airy mysteries of magical breath, voice, song, speech, as well as the cunning means by which nigromancers scent their circles and charge their spirits through smoke: from ‘Hekate’s Commandments’ to ‘Instructions of Cyprian’ and beyond…

On Sable Wings presents various operative means of working various melancholic mysteries of necromancy: hunger and fasting, abstinences and (taking on) taboos, graveyards and their politics, black garments and black magic, and the emotional and spiritual gravity of the grave,

You can either buy these class recordings individually from the above links, or get the whole Advanced Necromancy for Beginners course set for a tidy little discount here.

  Gravedirt Under The Fingernails

For those looking for further particular training in the operative mechanics and techniques of necromancy, I have both class-bundles and courses.  

My class-bundle Instruments of Nigromancy offers analysis of historical exemplars of the tools of necromancers drawn from grimoiric record and the working-books of cunning-craft. Definitely one for the folk necromancers.  

My Cousin of Death class-bundle examines the techniques and operations of dream incubation in pre-modern necromancy – combining planetary magic, sigilwork, conjuration, suffumigations, talismans and much more to traffick with specters and dearly departed.

Necromancy for the Whole Family

One aspect of working with the dead that might not immediately strike the enterprising necromancer as helpful – but which nonetheless absolutely stabilises and further secures success for us – is venerating and working with familial dead; the beloved departed and returning ancestors who guide, strengthen and protect us.  

And so I include my three part modular series Ancestor Veneration for Beginners here for anyone looking to (further) secure beneficial relations with not just friends but family on the other side. The three interlocking but independent class recordings of this series run thusly:

Fundamentals presents the foundations of ancestor veneration, and discusses genealogy and chosen family, reciprocity in our relationships, the whats, hows, and whys of shrines and our sessions at them, as well as touching on some of the effects and issues that can be worked through getting and staying in right relations with our dead.

Troubleshooting helps students through some of the difficulties we may encounter in seeking these right relations with ancestors: from uncertainty, confusion and “dry spells”, to navigating potential familial tensions and living spaces,  as well as offering some advice for dealing with unpleasant, unhelpful, and otherwise restless dead.

Ever-Deepening presents ways to further enrich and engage with ancestral protection and support, emphasising the importance of both short and long forms of divination. The use of materia for and from the dead is also explored, and we consider the importance of both tradition and autonomy in our veneration and well-being, and in seeking to live up to the benefits of our blessings. 

Once again, you can either buy these class recordings individually from the above links, or get the whole Ancestor Veneration for Beginners course set for a lovely little discount here.

  Tutelary Shades of Dead Magicians

For anyone interested in the necromancies of learning magic from dead practitioners, I have a couple of class recordings on just such sorts of work. Because who doesn’t love a dead magician. 

Most infamously, nigromancers of various sorts have sought the patronage and powerful secrets of one so-called sorcerer-saint, Cyprian of Antioch. My class Saint Cyprian: A Patron Saint of Black Magic presents the hagiographic magic and historical grimoiric sorceries of this saint of necromancers; from his Black Books to modern expressions of his veneration and nigromancy.

I also have three class recordings from The Cauldron Black’s Mighty Dead series (which I happened to curate and chair) that should be of particular interest to cunning nigromancers:

Mighty Dead: Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa discusses the history, work and afterlife of one of the early modern period’s most infamous occult philosophers; as well as offering some advice on approaching his shade and soul.

Mighty Dead: Anne Bodenham presents the cunning life and work of the Wise-Woman – and, later, Witch – of Wiltshire; tracing the shifting conceptions of cunning-folk, witchcraft, diabolism, spirit conjuration, and grimoire magic; as well as concluding with some helpful approaches to work with the Cunning Dead.

Mighty Dead: King Solomon – a class co-taught by my friend and colleague, the inestimable Matthew Venus of Spiritus Arcanum – offers insights into the legendary life and magics of that patron of grimoiric sorcery and spirit conjuration King Solomon; as well as tracing a more spirit-centred re-orientation of what is called “Solomonic” magic.

  Devils and the Dead

Finally, while not strictly focused on working with the dead, for those who employ goetic magic in their necromancy – or vice versa – to empower their work with the dead through sympathetic devils, I can heartily recommend my three-part series, A Goetia of the Four Kings Foundation Course, which traces the grimoiric record and potent conjurations for working with the four cardinal Regent spirits of early modern grimoiric nigromancy: Oriens, Paymon, Amaymon, and Egyn.

   Memento Mori To Check Back On This Post Periodically

I have a lot more classes and courses I’ve taught online that I am in the process of putting up on my site to purchase as recordings at the moment. So I will be adding to this here blogpost as a one-stop-shop for people to check up on what’s available as they are added.  

You can also keep abreast of new classes and courses – both live online and on the site as recordings – on my Friends of English Magic mailing list or having a look-see over at my Linktree hub.

I wish you all clear airs, benevolent shades, and ever-resurrecting blessings in all your necromancings. Cheers folks.

[thepitofjob]

Job 23: 13-17. "The Portfolio."

Mistakes are a type of Polemic that are written to clarify the assumptions about a particular passage in the Torah or Tanakh. Warrants contend with violations. Next is the Decree, which pertains to the oncoming of the Mashiach, which are ways to solidify global order.

It is a mistake to think Onan's sin was about masturbation for example, God issued a warrant after Cain's homicide of Abel, and now we will discuss the Decree, the things one must do:

13 “But he stands alone, and who can oppose him?     He does whatever he pleases. 14 He carries out his decree against me,     and many such plans he still has in store. 15 That is why I am terrified before him;     when I think of all this, I fear him. 16 God has made my heart faint;     the Almighty has terrified me. 17 Yet I am not silenced by the darkness,     by the thick darkness that covers my face.

We cannot rely on the Shule alone for implementation of the Decrees. The beliefs and practices of the religion are supposedly designed to pave the way to a more lucrative way of life, but without active participation in the affairs of community, they are pointless. No amount of contemplation or oration on the desired way of life is going to matter without full engagement of the Decrees and the onset of the Mashiach.

But we cannot read so we do not even practice much less perform interpretive polemics. Mashiach is not possible in the midst of a deaf and dumb human race:

On average, 79% of U.S. adults nationwide are literate in 2024. 21% of adults in the US are illiterate in 2024. 54% of adults have a literacy below a 6th-grade level (20% are below 5th-grade level).

Word of mouth then must the cause of our immense problems. This is why I want Joe Biden and Kamala Harris to be more forthright about what is going to happen with those two child molesters, Donald Trump and JD Vance ahead of the final days of this election year. Persons who have a history of child pornography and sex with minors are not allowed attain to positions of power. This is a violation of our agreements with other nations who may also not elect pedophiles and swear them in to public office.

Rape and other forms of sexual violence against children are human rights violations, and may amount to grave breaches of international humanitarian law.

In the very beginning of the Torah the first thing God tells Adam and Eve is not to exploit the sexuality of young people. We are not off to a very good start or conclusion to this election in America because we cannot read or act appropriately, and I think we are ready for some very serious consequences to the establishment responsible for failing to read and respond appropriately to these extremely important dictates.

If we do a Texas Two Step around this issue, we risk the USA becoming a hub for sex tourism and organized crime which it kind of already is. The implications of allowing Donald Trump et al to continue to promote perverted sex crimes on the soil of other nations are too serious to ignore.

Donald Trump and JD Vance both have connections to the trafficking of sex with minors the FBI and UN are aware of this, their actions are violations of spiritual, federal, and International laws it is illegal for these two men to participate in a US Election. someone has to make it clear their names shall not be appearing on that ballot in November.

This is an example of a Decree and the removal of the penetration darkness that is covering the faces of the human race.

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 13-14: He does whatever he pleases. So long as this pleases God that is fine. The Number is 7286, זבח‎ ו‎, "sacrifice."

The first aspect of the Decree is it requires sacrifice. One cannot, for example commit adultery. Sacrifice is required before and definitely after violations of the Decree that forbids adultery. The goal of a Decree is to identify which is the lesser sacrifice to make.

v. 15-16: That is why I am terrified.

The Torah says we are the most terrified of changing our minds. This passage is repeated twice:

Balak "The Destroyer" Summons Balaam "the Devourer of the People."

22 Then the Israelites traveled to the plains of Moab "father's way of life" and camped along the Jordan across from Jericho. [to cross the Jordan is to grow up, it refers to losing one's virginity. After this, one can enter Jericho "the fragrant place". ]

2 Now Balak "to lay waste" son of Zippor "the bird or the goat" saw all that Israel had done to the Amorites, 3 and Moab was terrified because there were so many people. Indeed, Moab was filled with dread because of the Israelites.

The Number is 5830, החל‎ , "what is applied". By the time one reaches adulthood one must be able to apply the Decrees and stay out of trouble. Sex with minors, for example is not an acceptable course of action for an adult to take nor is lack of enforcement of the age of consent by the government. This is a very serious crime.

Everyone in the world will benefit from an official announcement about the legal protections children have from sexual crimes performed by persons holding positions of power.

v. 17: I am not silenced by the darkness. The Number is 4293, דבטג‎ ‎ ‎‎, debtag, "The portfolio of a dove."

The Tribe of Simeon contains traits that contribute to a person's good reputation. About Simeon, the Torah says in Ki Tavo:

11 On the same day Moses commanded the people:

12 When you have crossed the Jordan, these tribes shall stand on Mount Gerizim "to graze" to bless the people:

Simeon "Law abiding" , Levi "unity", Judah "praise", Issachar "friendship", Joseph "prosperity" and Benjamin "righteousness." 13 And these tribes shall stand on Mount Ebal to pronounce curses: Reuben "leadership" , Gad "teaching", Asher "happiness", Zebulun "honor" , Dan "judgement" and Naphtali "struggle".

14 The Levites shall recite to all the people of Israel in a loud voice:

15 “Cursed is anyone who makes an idol—a thing detestable to the Lord, the work of skilled hands—and sets it up in secret.”

Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”

16 “Cursed is anyone who dishonors their father or mother.”

Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”

17 “Cursed is anyone who moves their neighbor’s boundary stone.”

Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”

18 “Cursed is anyone who leads the blind astray on the road.”

Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”

19 “Cursed is anyone who withholds justice from the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow.”

Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”

20 “Cursed is anyone who sleeps with his father’s wife, for he dishonors his father’s bed.”

Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”

21 “Cursed is anyone who has sexual relations with any animal.”

Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”

22 “Cursed is anyone who sleeps with his sister, the daughter of his father or the daughter of his mother.”

Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”

23 “Cursed is anyone who sleeps with his mother-in-law.”

Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”

24 “Cursed is anyone who kills their neighbor secretly.”

Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”

25 “Cursed is anyone who accepts a bribe to kill an innocent person.”

Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”

26 “Cursed is anyone who does not uphold the words of this law by carrying them out.”

Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”

The Torah says "on the same day, Moses commanded the people." That day was not supposed to have end. We are not abiding by the laws or the decrees and have accrued too many violations and the government needs to catch up. The people should support its efforts.

[hotilhotil]

Israel is a country known

<a href="https://www.sexfire1.com/%d7%a0%d7%a2%d7%a8%d7%95%d7%aa-%d7%9c%d7%99%d7%95%d7%95%d7%99/" target="_blank">נערות ליווי</a> Israel is a country known for its rich history, diverse culture, and booming economy. However, one aspect of Israel that often goes overlooked is the presence of escort girls in the country. These women play a significant role in the economy and culture of Israel, yet their profession is often stigmatized and misunderstood. In this article, we will delve into the world of escort girls in Israel and explore their role in society. The first thing that needs to be clarified is what exactly an escort girl is. In simple terms, an escort girl is a woman who provides companionship, intimacy, and sometimes sexual services in exchange for money. They are not to be confused with prostitutes, who offer sexual services in exchange for money only. Escort girls also provide companionship and entertainment, making them a popular choice for those in need of a date for social or business events. In Israel, escort girls are legal and regulated by the government. This means that they are required to obtain a license, undergo regular health checks, and pay taxes. This not only ensures the safety and well-being of the escort girls but also generates revenue for the government. The industry is estimated to be worth millions of dollars and has become a significant contributor to the country's economy. One reason for the prevalence of escort girls in Israel is the country's cosmopolitan and liberal nature. Tel Aviv, in particular, is known for its lively nightlife and liberal attitudes towards sexuality. This has created an open and accepting atmosphere for escort girls to operate in. In fact, many of the top escort agencies in the country are based in Tel Aviv, catering to both locals and tourists. However, there is still a stigma attached to the profession of escorting in Israel. Many people view it as immoral and degrading, despite the fact that it is a legal and regulated industry. This often leads to discrimination and mistreatment of escort girls, who are just trying to make a living like any other person. Thankfully, there are organizations in Israel that work to protect the rights and well-being of escort girls and educate the public about their profession. Another misconception about escort girls is that they are all forced into the profession by human traffickers. While human trafficking does exist in Israel, it is a problem that extends beyond the escort industry. The Israeli government has taken steps to combat this issue and protect those who are vulnerable. It is important to recognize that most escort girls in Israel are there by choice and are not victims of human trafficking. Aside from providing companionship and entertainment, escort girls also play a significant role in Israeli society. Many of these women are well-educated and come from various backgrounds, making them valuable sources of knowledge and information. They are also often hired as tour guides, using their extensive knowledge of the country to provide a unique and personalized experience for visitors. In conclusion, escort girls are an essential part of Israel's society, culture, and economy. They provide a valuable service and should not be judged or discriminated against. It is time to break the stigma surrounding this profession and recognize the contribution that escort girls make to Israel. They deserve equal rights, respect, and recognition for their work.

[aspenforest732]

Mortem ad Wrens Chapter 26: Someday We Will Discover

Summary:

tw: vomiting, abuse, flashback, intrusive thoughts, starved, vomiting, fear, memories of bodily harm, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, ed thoughts, child abuse, muzzling, abandonment, foster care, drugs, seizures, creepy adult, ableism Therapy, bit of Popmic, and training camp begins

Notes:

Summary of Chapter 25: Akira’s taken to a secondary location where the traffickers are holding other children for auction or experimentation. They’re put up for online auction, but the heroes raid the facility. Only one other child survives. Akira promises to let Fat Gum know if they know they’re going to be kidnapped, and they have dinner with the Yamazawas, Fat Gum, and Amajiki. MiriTama and ShinKami confirmed. ‘text’ JSL Text thoughts

‘Seeing them just reminded me of when I was younger,’ Akira leaned against the tree trunk on the lowest branch. Fortunately, the late July heat had let up enough to make being outside bearable for longer than a few minutes. Akira still had extra water bottles and their crutches against the tree.

“That must’ve been hard,” Inui murmured. “You were in a very difficult position, waiting for heroes while you couldn’t be there for them.”

Akira rolled their eyes but shrunk in on themself. ‘If I can’t save them, how can I…’ they put their head on their knees. They couldn’t exactly tell Inui their plan, but their family always seemed to haunt their sessions.

“We can’t be everywhere at once,” Inui pointed out gently. At Akira’s half-hearted glare, he smiled sadly. “Heroes save a lot of people, but the first ones you lose are the hardest. Working with the community, reaching out to their family members, and seeking out people you care about can help with the grieving process.”

‘I don’t want to burden them with this, though,’ Akira huffed in frustration and picked at the rough bark poking into their legs. ‘It’s not like I haven’t seen bodies before, much less children. That’s pretty common on the streets as much as we try to help each other.’

“Why do you think what happened is harder for you?”

Akira started to respond but paused, lightly worrying their bottom lip. ‘We take care of each other. Those kids had no one, and most of their injuries were old.’

“Do you think they had an unhealthy relationship with their caretakers?”

‘What do you mean?’ Akira peered at Inui from their tree branch.

Inui hummed thoughtfully. “We often compare ourselves to others, especially in familiar situations.”

Akira shook their head. ‘No, I mean… What would you call an unhealthy relationship? I feel like we’ve been working towards a baseline, but I still get caught off guard a lot.’

Inui nodded slowly and took a moment to collect his thoughts. “It depends on the type of relationship, but for this, we’re talking about a healthy parental figure relationship.”

Pulling from their previous sessions, Akira hesitantly replied, ‘So healthy aspects would be what, only harming each other as punishment and being responsible for each other?’

Inui frowned, “That’s a very low bar. Can you try setting it higher?”

Akira tensed before letting a shudder release some of the tension. Brow pinched in concentration, they tried to think of the snippets he’d shared against some of the “punishments” their family doled out, but most of what they talked about was coping mechanisms and clarifying what was abuse. Granted, the few acts Akira did let slip were some of the less severe methods the Wrens used.

When Akira didn’t respond for a few minutes, Inui gently continued, “Parental figures should never harm their charge, and they should be responsible for their charge. They should provide food, shelter, and education without the expectation of anything in return. Boundaries should be respected, and the charge should feel safe.”

Akira startled, blinking rapidly at the list. Searching Inui’s expression, they only found sincerity and a touch of sadness. ‘You’re saying… Eraser and Mic aren’t the exception outside of hero families?’

Akira jolted awake, bile rising in their throat. They hurriedly stumbled to the bathroom, emptying dinner into the toilet without bothering to turn the light on. After a few minutes, they winced at the light turning on then dimming as they caught a glimpse of Yamada in their peripheral. Too tired and sore to move away, they shuddered as the blonde gently tied their sweaty hair back.

“Hey little listener, I brought some water,” Yamada said softly. He handed them a glass before backing off to a more comfortable distance at their slight flinch. “I know you prefer Shou for this kind of thing, but he’s still on patrol right now. Is it okay if I sit here with you?”

Akira nodded, head pounding as they took a cautious sip. ‘Sorry,’ they signed with shaky hands. ‘You don’t have to stay, I’m fine.’

Yamada hesitated, concerned smile becoming uncertain. “Is that you asking me to leave, little listener? I don’t want to crowd you.”

Akira shook their head and leaned against the toilet, shifting slightly onto the pale blue shower mat as they forced some more water down.

“Okay. Was it something you ate?” Yamada asked after a moment. He slowly adjusted so his knees weren’t directly on the cold white tiles while Akira watched him like a hawk out of the corner of their eye.

‘Nightmare.’ When their stomach finally stopped trying to eject itself, Akira carefully stood and flushed. Shoulders tense, they passed Yamada’s relaxed but vigilant form to sit on the couch and pull the weighted blanket over themself. They winced as their left leg spasmed painfully, the compound fractures in the memory still lingering.

“Think you can handle some soup?” Yamada asked just loudly enough from the kitchen.

Y̷̢͖̘̥͙̜̳̼̮̗̯̱͒̔̅͂̇͒o��̫̭̣̙̗̟̼̫̖̣͎̱̠̮̰͓̽́́̐̒͆̓́̾̈́̑̏̾̈́̚͜û̸͕͖͕̜̱͕͎̜̘̀͐ ̵̡̨̘̝̥̟̜͇̳͚̮̘̿̏̐̓͊͗̊̀̅͑̌̓́̊̅̚͜͜d̸͙̰͚̦͉̠̹̜̲͆̂͋͒͌͆̄̽͐̾͋͆̀o̷̡̭͎̠͕̳̩̟̺̽̿͆̿̍͜͝n̸̲̩̯͙̩͔̜̠̺̻̥̆͂̐͗͛̌̃̋̚’̵̫̘͕͕̮̲̺̭͔̟͌̊̀͌̀̂̀̄͑̔͌͐͠͠t̶̢̻͓͙̼͓̫̗̣̐̑̔̏ ̴̡͇͇̪͈͉̺̪́̇̏͝ď̶̹̻̣͍̤̺̹̖̖̘̣̥̩̉̈́͋̐̍́̔͂͐̋͝͝ȩ̸̤̩̞͍͕̝́́̌̀̐͝͠s̴̨̨̨̮̮̮̗̗̻͙̱̼̪̈̇̓̕͝ę̵̡̤̳̤̘̜̱̳̒͐̆̓̄̀͆̽̈͑̾̉̀̕͠ͅr̴̙͍̥̹̟̼̹̳̰̣̯͈̟̊̊̂̕͝v̸̮̪̘̠̤̗̮̤̺̱̏̽͒͊ͅe̶̪̘̻͙͕̊̈̉́̽̃͆̈́͑͊͆́̕͘ ̴̛̙̞̳̄ͅf̵̛̠͍̎͐̊̔̊̀͒̂͠ơ̵̧͎̯̙̙̖̞̹̮͔̠̳͚̤̐̈́̽͜͝͝ơ̷̧̟͙͎̬̣̜̺͒̀̀̋͐͑͝͝d̴̨̧̯̻͙̱̞̊̍̉,̸̢̧̥̱̩̰͎͕̎̎̊̂̈́̌̿̋͒̄ ̶̙̩̩̲̬̣͖͎̹̃͗̏͑͌́͆͘͝ (You don’t deserve food)

Akira shivered and gave a thumbs up despite their stomach doing flips. They flipped to the current day in their nutrition journal, wincing as they registered what their episode had cost. Akira noted the loss and left it open face down to update once they were done. They took the proffered leftover soup, letting it first warm their hands as they willed themself to eat.

O̴̡̢͈̠̻̲̬͎͓̹̹͕̭͗̿̈́̇̋̏͘͘͜ͅn̷̡̡͚̪̳̭̞̲͓̘͍̪̦͉͔͙̋́̓͆̈́͊l̵̼͖̤̀͜ͅy̴̞͍̋̊͒͜ͅ ̷̡̯̦̥̬̱͔̾̾̈́̈̃̈́͐̎̚͘͝͠ṫ̴̡̛̐̿̈́̅̃͝͠ḫ̴̨̼̩̘̝̘́͌̈̌͆́̃͐̉̑͆̕͝i̵̧̟̟̜̘̫̬͗n̷̬̟̟̠͓̫̋͒̊̕k̵͔̯̱̹͕̖̇̿̃̈́͗̀̅̓̒̍͌̍͘͝͠ ̷̲̖̠͙̠̺͚͓̻̣͇̻̟̻͔̍͌̈́o̵̢̭̮͈͂̀̇̋̈̓̓͋̿̓̂̾f̸̡̧̭͎͕̗̱͙͉̞̖̝̝̦̻͓̊̈́̀̀̓̚͠ ̸̡̤͔͍̘̭̥͚̎́̂̐ỵ̶̨̝̗̗̘͇̹̱̱͎͓̘͒̓́̒̓̾͗̂̽͂̃̓̽̉̇͠ò̴̡̨̖̥̥̝̦͕̹͚͕͍̘͓̜̦̾͋��̉ū̵͓̑̐̎̅̌͐́̉̓̔͆̚r̵͈̠̗̓̅͌́͂̆̎͐̿́̀͛͘͜s̴̙͎̲̍̏̌̇̓͗͗̐̔̋̆̏̚ȅ̷̦̻̘̖̭̊͂͆͂̏̐͠l̷͉̚ḟ̶̭̥ (Only think of yourself)

“Mori? Are you alright?” Yamada hovered a meter away, concern lacing his features.

Akira nodded and glared at the soup for a moment before forcing themself to start eating. They swallowed thickly around the lump in their throat and tried to focus on the soft couch and comfortable weight of the blanket on their chest instead of the guilt churning in their gut. After a few spoonfuls, they signed, ‘Intrusive thoughts. Not your fault.’

Yamada settled into Aizawa’s armchair with a mug of tea and placed another near them on the coffee table. Akira held back a wince as they realized they were too stuck in their head to hear the kettle going off. After a few minutes, Yamada gently asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Akira continued forcing soup down for a moment before shrugging. ‘It was one of the tamer nightmares… I had a younger brother, but he wasn’t coping well with the abuse. Tried to sneak him food during one of the starvation tests, and obviously that didn’t go well.’

“One of?” Yamada squeaked, letting out a quiet curse as some of his tea spilled onto his lap.

Akira did a double take as they felt the waves of concern pouring off the hero who was now dabbing at the fabric. He immediately looked back up as they slowly signed, ‘One of the faster, although more difficult to time ways of triggering a Brute quirk.’ Akira carefully watched his reaction morph into shock then anger before Yamada tried to school his expression.

He took a breath as Akira cautiously set down their soup. “I’m mad at the people who did that, not you, little listener. Was it your family?” At their nod, Yamada ran a hand down his face. “Did you know I was in foster care growing up?”

Akira slowly shook their head in confusion and shifted to make room for Bastard as the cat opened his mouth to start yowling at them. The tuxedo jumped up onto their lap and gave the stink eye at Yamada.

The hero smiled slightly at the cat, not bothering to correct him this time. The smile fell as Yamada continued, “My parents went deaf shortly after I got my quirk, and since it’s one I have to actively suppress, I was forced to wear a muzzle in most of the homes.”

Akira’s eyebrows shot up and their hand stilled before signing in confusion, ‘But your quirk is perfect for hero work.’ Bastard lightly batted at their hand without his claws until they resumed petting him.

Yamada laughed bitterly, “If it was something I turned on instead of actively keeping off, maybe. But all they saw was a liability.” His expression softened as he focused back on Akira. “The point is I can understand how terrible people can be. Shou got it more from his peers, but we both want to be here for you.”

Akira nodded haltingly then frowned as they looked at a ping from Dabi. “August 7th. Wooded area.” Realizing that would be the third day of camp, Akira signed as much to Yamada, who grew more worried.

Friday night, an arms deal was almost complete under Akira’s watchful gaze when they spotted a familiar shadow enter the window. Catching Isao’s eyes, they signed ‘Eraser. I stall.’ With a nod from the muscle, Akira padded across the beams to intercept the hero. ‘Fancy seeing you here.’

Expression deceptively blank, the hero signed back, ‘We need to talk away from birds.’

Akira took a steadying breath and nodded, signing for him to stay while they made their way back into Isao’s line of sight and gave an all-clear. As the gangs dispersed, Akira swept once more for bugs before making their way back into the rafters. Tension burning throughout their body, Akira tried to put on an air of nonchalance. ‘Fat Gum gave you the brief if you know the code. What do you want to know?’

‘How much does Siren know?’ Aizawa bluntly asked, eyes searching their small frame in the darkness.

Akira blinked at the easy question. ‘I was abused, my quirk forcibly manifested, and I agree with aspects of Stain’s ideology. I’m trying to avoid putting more people in danger than necessary.’

Aizawa nodded slowly, face still closed off and impassive. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

Akira shot him a disbelieving look before signing, ‘You’re a mandated reporter, and I couldn’t be sure that underground heroes were safe. You being married to Mic was a red flag as much as him being married to you was a green flag. And I don’t want to put Siren in danger.’

‘Who can I bring in without informing them of the larger investigation?’

Akira hesitated before clarifying, ‘For intelligence gathering, scouting, protecting…’

Aizawa let out a small sigh, ‘Intel gathering. Nezu and Sir Nighteye are the best Japan has in the field outside the Wrens, and both have a distaste towards the family and the Commission.’

Akira shivered as they leaned against a support beam, shifting weight off their mostly healed leg. ‘Principal knows… something. I’ve been avoiding the stoat to put off further risk, and I haven’t died yet, so…’

Aizawa ducked into his capture scarf with a small, exasperated smile. ‘I can find out for you. Nezu will probably ask to see you.’

Akira lightly rapped their head against the beam before nodding. We’d need to find out eventually. If he hasn’t turned me in yet, maybe, just maybe he is on my side.

Monday morning, Akira woke to the odd smell of burnt bread and red bean paste. Confused, they saw it was only 04:30, a full hour before they needed to be up to catch the train to U.A. Akira rolled off the couch to see Dabi in the kitchen cursing at a sheet of taiyaki that were a little extra crispy. They laughed, stepping closer with heavy steps to avoid startling the man. ‘You okay?’

“Fine,” Dabi grumbled as he roughly used a spatula to scrape the treats off, “these were meant to be a surprise.”

Akira waved him off, plucking one off the tray and taking a cautious nibble. Steam erupted from the fish-shaped waffle, and they offered a smile. ‘Not bad. Just a little burnt on the outside. Thanks.’ Peeking around Dabi, Akira grinned at the two baked and one raw sheet of taiyaki on the counter. The former seemed to have fared better at least. ‘Might as well get ready since I’m up. Want some help?’

Akira grinned as Dabi called back no and continued grumbling over the waffles. They triple-checked their duffle bag and eventually decided to bring all their non-perishable snacks and ingredients. The pair had discussed at length the ever-growing chance they’d see each other on Wednesday but couldn’t justify raising an alarm beyond telling Yamada and Aizawa. More food would at least give Akira a better chance of surviving the rest of the League if it came to that.

‘And you’ll ping your location when you warp on site, right?’ Akira asked as they were halfway out the door.

“Yes, now go! You’re going to miss the train,” Dabi said, lightly shoving them out the door.

“Mori! It’s good to see you here this early,” Ida chopped. “Please store any large bags under the bus and take one small bag with you.”

Akira just gave a thumbs up and pulled their box of taiyaki out of their duffle before stowing it. ‘Would you like a taiyaki?’

“Of course, thank you!”

Akira handed one to Aizawa and two to Hitoshi – all three from the less burnt batches – with a wink to the latter before settling towards the middle of the bus in a window seat with their box and oversized smoothie tumbler Yamada insisted on getting them. They’d already had their smoothie for breakfast, but Akira didn’t want to be unprepared with all that could go wrong that week.

The rest of 1-A gradually filtered on, and Sato lit up as he noticed Akira munching on the waffles. He slipped into their row and asked, “Hey Mori, did you make those yourself?”

Startled, Akira shook their head and offered him one. ‘My roommate did.’

Sato grinned as he bit into one, “I love baking. Can you get me the recipe? I like to experiment.”

Akira slowly nodded, glancing at Fumikage as he and Koji sat across the aisle. ‘I also have several recipes from Fat Gum,’ they added haltingly and sent a few taiyaki over via Dark Shadow.

“That’s great! I’d love to get those, too. What’s your favorite to make? I like matcha pound cake.”

Akira leaned into the window a bit, eyes widening minutely as Sato gestured widely. At an encouraging smile from Koji, Akira started exchanging recipes with the boy. Occasionally, his smile faltered as they mentioned cheaper options for ingredients, but he had the tact not to comment.

As the bus headed into the mountains, Akira found themself distracted by the stunning view outside their window. The road climbed high above the trees, letting them see for miles around as Musutafu shrunk in the distance. After only an hour, the bus stopped, and Akira cast a concerned glance to Aizawa as they took in the heavily wooded area below the rest area. Class B’s bus had split off twenty minutes prior, and they weren’t there.

‘Is everything alright?’ they signed to Aizawa.

‘Make sure you have your food and meds,’ Aizawa simply replied. Akira peered up at him before double-checking their backpack.

Pixie-Bob and Mandalay burst from the other car, posing while a young boy scoffed in the background. As Midoriya went off on an excited muttering storm over their team, Pixie-bob rushed forward, claws extending. Akira immediately warped to Midoriya, shoving him out of the way as they ducked under her hand.

“18 at- huh?” Pixie-Bob vehemently insisted then caught herself as Aizawa dispelled Akira’s clone and she was met with the protective teen.

After a tense moment, Akira straightened and kept an eye on her as they led an embarrassed Midoriya back. Aizawa frowned slightly in confusion at Pixie-Bob, raising an eyebrow at Mandalay. They did not join the class greeting as Mandalay pointed out where they would be staying in the distance.

“It’s 9:30 a.m. right now. If you’re fast, maybe around noon?” Mandalay mused, tail twitching.

Casting an annoyed look at Aizawa, Akira sighed. That’s at least 6 hours on foot if they have obstacles. The rest of the class started panicking and rushing for the bus as Pixie-Bob started a feline wiggle.

“Kitties who don’t make it by 12:30 won’t get any lunch!”

“Sorry folks, but training camp…” Aizawa said, a twinge of amusement on his face as Pixie-Bob jumped between the students and the bus. “has already begun.” He met Akira’s eyes with a slight nod.

As an avalanche of dirt flew toward the group, Akira warped on top of the bus. The dirt avalanche seemed to provide enough stability from Pixie-Bob’s quirk to not cause injury, but they didn’t want to risk loose dirt behind the wave still tumbling them into its path.

“Since it’s private land, you can use your Quirks as you wish!” Mandalay continued to explain as Aizawa held out a hand for Akira.

“You can either go with the class or continue on the bus,” Aizawa offered blandly. “I trust you to know what you can handle in this heat.”

Akira slid down the front of the bus, a hand keeping their skirt from riding up. They took the proffered hand to get the rest of the way down and gave a sharp nod to Aizawa, ‘I’ll go with the group. Shouldn’t be a problem with what I packed, but for that distance, I’ll need my mobility aids. Open the undercarriage, please.’

“Hey, where’s Mori?” they distantly heard while half climbing into the undercarriage to get to their bag.

They quickly sent a message to the group chat, “warped onto bus. Will be down in minute.”

Capture scarf settled around their neck and crutches in place, they walked up to the edge of the rest stop and surveyed the nearly sheer cliff face. After a minute, they settled on a path and started warping down, focusing on where they were going instead of the forest below. Once down, they signed, ‘I will need a break in three hours to take meds and will likely need to stop a few more times due to the heat.’

Midoriya and Ida briskly nodded and started brainstorming attack patterns as a dirt and stone creature emerged from the woods. Surging forward, Akira used their capture scarf to pull it down and away from the group. Bakugo and Shoto swiftly blasted it to pieces before Midoriya landed the final blow.

As more creatures emerged, the group set up surveillance, distraction, control, and attack teams. Akira mostly ran distraction with their clones and warping while Hitoshi headed control with their ever-present capture weapon.

When the group was barely a third to the foot of the mountains, Akira signed for the group to stop as they sat on a stump and finished off their tumbler before taking their lunch dose. They polished off their last few taiyaki and noticed Yaoyorozu staring at them. ‘What?’

“How were you allowed to bring that much when we weren’t?” she asked bitterly.

‘Most of it was already in my backpack. The rest was part of grabbing what I needed to manage my quirk. I only stowed these because I was under the impression we were taking the bus the whole way.’ After a swig of water, Akira added, ‘I told you to keep snacks on you.’

Yaoyorozu huffed and stalked off to where Jiro was listening with Shoji. A few minutes later, Akira stood and the group moved on. Yaoyorozu wordlessly handed them a pair of blades a couple hours later as the attack group started running out of steam. Akira warily took the blades, testing their balance before handing over a strawberry jelly pouch to the girl’s apparent surprise. Over the next couple hours, they started to feel a strange burn compounding their aches somewhat like when they used their quirk too much after burning through their fat.

Wait, is this my quirk exhaustion? Akira startled with the realization. They kept up with their metabolism for the most part, so it wasn’t a buffer issue. In between monster sightings, they pulled out their quirk notebook and jotted down the symptoms to go over later.

When the group finally made it to base camp around 17:30, everyone was physically and quirk exhausted, dragging their feet and bearing scrapes and bruises from the numerous fights. Akira had burned through everything they’d brought for the day and had stopped actively using their quirk an hour prior. They stumbled into the clearing supporting Kaminari, who was in the midst of another absence seizure.

Got it, corrupt and ignorant, Akira thought bitterly as they listened to Pixie-Bob admit to boasting. Their eyes narrowed as she looked hungrily toward Ida, Midoriya, Bakugo, and Shoto. Akira passed Kaminari off to Fumikage just in time to see the hero rush at the group, and Akira warped into her side mid-air, harshly pushing her off course as Aizawa’s capture scarf lifted.

‘Back off,’ Akira glared as Pixie-Bob landed on her feet a few paces away. ‘You’re making everyone uncomfortable.’

“I just can’t wait to see where you’ll be in three years!” she cooed.

Akira stalked forward menacingly, capture scarf rising as Aizawa sharply called out, “Leave the kids alone.” As he stalked over to retrieve the heroine, Akira locked eyes with Aizawa and stood down at the fierce protectiveness.

“Whose k-kid is that?” Midoriya asked nervously while his fingers fidgeted. As Mandalay introduced Kota, Akira watched her partner like a hawk.

‘Why is she allowed anywhere near children?’ Akira spun on Aizawa as the others unloaded the bus and Pixie-Bob and Mandalay took Kota inside.

Aizawa frowned after the rescue heroes, “I will be speaking with her. I’ve never seen Pixie-Bob act like this, or I would’ve insisted on a different group.”

By dinner, Pixie-Bob seemed to calm down, although Akira kept an eye on her. Since Aizawa had prepared cold compresses for them in the time it took to get to camp, Akira had a few on their legs and chest held in place by their capture weapon.

“You normally wear the boy’s uniform, right Mori?” Sato asked in between mouthfuls of curry.

Akira nodded, ‘Pant uniform, yes. Less likely to get misgendered when I don’t wear traditionally feminine clothing. I’m only wearing the skirt uniform because of the heat.’

“I didn’t know you could get multiple uniforms,” Kaminari added as he sat down.

Akira smiled at them. ‘Good to see you recharged. Eraser-sensei told me the process when I last went to Nurse’s office. I can help you with it if you want.’

“What are you taking pills for?” Yaoyorozu added as Akira took their evening dose.

Akira scowled at them, ‘None of your business. Piss off.’

“Well, you take more food than anyone else, you’re taking unmarked pills, and you got special treatment while we got thrown off a cliff. What’s next, you pass the licensing exam just so they have a-”

“Yaoyorozu, enough. With me,” Aizawa said gruffly, making her go rigid.

“That, uh, that would be great,” Kaminari said as they walked off. “The second uniform process, I mean.”

“Me, too,” Jiro added, looking after Yaoyorozu in confusion.

Akira quietly slipped into the hot springs area wearing only their swim trunks and settled into the water. Kaminari and Midoriya, who had been talking animatedly by the entrance went quiet as they passed.

“Woah, Mori, is that like a tattoo or something?” Kaminari asked, padding after them.

‘Or something. It’s a scar.’

“That’s so manly!” Kirishima grinned. “Is it a cultural thing?”

Akira hesitantly shook their head, glancing at Hitoshi. ‘Not really, but I have heard of that.’

“Did you get it done somewhere special? The lines are so smooth,” Kaminari asked, reaching out.

Akira slid away from his hand as they tried to keep their breathing controlled.

“Hey, maybe they don’t want to-” Koji started softly.

“Oh yeah! I heard about that guy, what’s his… Carpenter! He’s that hero who brings masterpieces out of any material, right? It’s so rare he works with human canvases. His work looks kind of like that,” Midoriya babbled as Akira blanched and slipped further down in the water.

Hitoshi said, “Hey Midoriya?”

“Ye-”

“Shut up.” Hitoshi glared between Midoriya and the others, clearly daring them to say anything. After a moment, he released Midoriya who blushed, muttering a quick apology before going to sit with Ida. “Are you okay?”

Akira shook their head as their back spasmed. They stood after a moment, signing ‘alone’ before going back to the shared bedroom. Should’ve just worn a regular shirt when I saw I was missing my rash guard, Akira thought bitterly. Their scar burned and itched like they’d landed on a fire ant hill, so they used their long makeup brush to put a little scar cream on it. After a few seconds made it clear the effects were phantom pains, Akira settled for leaning against the grey wall while stroking their Bastard plush in their lap.

“Hey, why do you have a stuffed animal?”

Akira looked up, blinking as they noticed Kota enter the room. ‘Do you know what grounding means?’

“No,” the boy huffed, crossing his arms.

Akira resumed stroking Bastard, mulling over an explanation for a 5-year-old. ‘I have a lot of bad memories, and sometimes my thoughts get too loud because of them. Grounding can be different for everyone, but the idea is to remind yourself of where you are and what’s around you.’

“And the stuffed cat?” Kota looked confused.

‘Is something soft I associate with positive memories. I didn’t have him during the bad memories,’ Akira tried to explain. The kid still seemed a little confused but nodded. ‘Do you have bad memories?’

“My parents are dead.”

Akira winced. ‘Sorry? Did you watch them-’

“No, they were stupid, heroes like you idiots are trying to be with your corny powers.”

Setting Bastard aside, Akira motioned for Kota to come closer. ‘Heroes can be ignorant, mean, or contradictory. The good ones try to save people, and I think most of my classmates could be good heroes.’

“But you’re all just showing off, so you’ll end up dead like them!” Kota stormed up.

Akira’s breath hitched as they briefly saw Minori before they shook their head lightly. They took a deep breath before continuing, ‘Some are, and some will. I don’t blame you for disliking heroes; I don’t like them, either.’ At Kota’s bewildered look, Akira offered a small, bitter smile. ‘Most of my bad memories come from heroes, but there are a few I can now say I look up to. All of these kids have been through a lot, so just try to keep that in mind, okay?’

Kota seemed conflicted before turning and running out of the room. Akira shook their head and turned in for the night, back still on fire as they left the blanket off.

Notes:

Akira’s been going to therapy for three months now with a pause when summer break started. There isn’t the pressure of seeing him every day or interacting outside of sessions, so they feel a bit more comfortable. Kiddo’s still trying to grasp what baselines are supposed to be Gosh this arc came up fast and I’m trying not to cram growth but damn it’s hard. I was especially struggling with my hyperphantasia acting up as I tried to figure out what trauma to have Akira relive, so ended up not writing the dream sequence. I'm really looking forward to seeing y'all's reactions to the last few chapters as things heat up

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Analyzing Western Sahara's Maritime Matters: Law of the Seas and Security

Understanding Western Sahara's Maritime Matters=== Western Sahara, a disputed territory in North Africa, has long been a subject of legal and political contention. In addition to the land dispute, the maritime matters related to the region have also garnered significant attention. This article aims to provide an analytical overview of Western Sahara's maritime matters, focusing on the legal status of the territory, the significance of the Law of the Seas, maritime security challenges, and the implications of maritime resources. By examining these aspects, we can gain a deeper understanding of the complexities surrounding Western Sahara's maritime affairs and explore potential recommendations for addressing these issues. ===Examining Western Sahara's Legal Status in International Law=== The legal status of Western Sahara remains a contentious issue in international law. On one hand, Morocco claims sovereignty over the region, while on the other hand, the Sahrawi Arab Democratic Republic (SADR) asserts its right to self-determination. The United Nations considers Western Sahara a non-self-governing territory, pending a resolution through a referendum. However, the lack of consensus among the international community and the absence of a conclusive legal framework have complicated the matter. ===The Significance of the Law of the Seas in Western Sahara=== The Law of the Seas plays a crucial role in determining the rights and responsibilities of states regarding maritime matters. In the case of Western Sahara, the delimitation of its maritime boundaries is of paramount importance. The determination of these boundaries would not only clarify the extent of territorial waters but also establish exclusive economic zones and continental shelf rights. Resolving the legal status of Western Sahara is essential to ensuring the proper application of the Law of the Seas and avoiding potential conflicts in the region. ===Analyzing the Maritime Security Challenges in Western Sahara=== Maritime security challenges in Western Sahara are multifaceted and require careful analysis. The presence of illegal fishing activities, drug trafficking, and the potential for piracy pose significant threats to the region's maritime security. The lack of effective enforcement mechanisms exacerbates these challenges, allowing criminal and non-state actors to exploit the vast maritime spaces. Cooperation between neighboring states, international organizations, and regional security initiatives is essential to combatting these security challenges effectively. ===Assessing the Implications of Western Sahara's Maritime Resources=== Western Sahara's maritime resources hold immense economic potential. The region is believed to have significant offshore oil and gas deposits, as well as rich fisheries. However, the exploitation of these resources is hindered by the unresolved legal status of the territory. Clarity regarding the ownership and management of these resources is critical for attracting investment, promoting sustainable development, and ensuring equitable benefits for the local population. ===Recommendations for Addressing Western Sahara's Maritime Issues=== Resolving the maritime issues in Western Sahara requires a comprehensive approach that combines legal, political, and diplomatic efforts. Firstly, the international community should intensify efforts to facilitate a peaceful resolution to the land dispute, which would provide a solid foundation for addressing the maritime matters. This can be achieved through renewed negotiations and support for the United Nations' efforts in facilitating a referendum. Secondly, the parties involved, including Morocco, SADR, and neighboring states, should engage in constructive dialogue to establish cooperative mechanisms for the delimitation of maritime boundaries and addressing security challenges. Collaboration in maritime security operations, joint patrols, and information-sharing initiatives would enhance regional stability and address common concerns regarding piracy and illegal activities. Moreover, international organizations, such as the International Maritime Organization (IMO), should play an active role in providing technical assistance and capacity building to enhance maritime governance and security in Western Sahara. This can include training local authorities in maritime law enforcement, promoting sustainable fishing practices, and assisting in the development of maritime infrastructure. Furthermore, the international community should encourage responsible resource management in Western Sahara. This can be achieved by supporting initiatives that ensure the equitable distribution of economic benefits, promote transparency in resource extraction, and establish mechanisms for revenue sharing. A comprehensive and inclusive approach to resource management would contribute to the socio-economic development of the region and mitigate potential conflicts. In conclusion, understanding Western Sahara's maritime matters necessitates a comprehensive analysis of its legal status, the significance of the Law of the Seas, security challenges, and implications of maritime resources. By addressing these issues, the international community can contribute to the stability, security, and sustainable development of the region. It is imperative that all stakeholders engage in dialogue, cooperate on maritime security measures, and work towards a peaceful resolution that respects the rights and aspirations of the Sahrawi people. Only through concerted efforts can Western Sahara's maritime matters be effectively addressed and contribute to the overall peace and prosperity of the region. Read the full article

[russadler]

Work Hard, Play Harder - Prologue

Russell Adler x Female OC

The mission sounds simple enough, but the devil was definitely in the details.

A/N: This is something completely new and separate from ‘A Little Death’ and NOT a Russell Adler x Bell. After coming to terms with the issues with that pairing, it was difficult to continue that fic even though I loved it as much as I did. It was devastating to do so, but I’m hoping to create something completely new and fun. I guess this is sort of similar to ‘A Little Death’ in a way but completely different at the same time. This is just the prologue, setting the scene for the fic, but let me know what you guys think <3

June 7, 1982

Langley, Virginia

She’s not entirely sure what she expected, but it wasn’t this. 

Her day starts out simple enough. Write memos, respond to emails, read and scribble in the growing stack of files on her desk. Then her department lead tells her Jason Hudson needs to see her and from then on things get very interesting, very fast. 

The brunette makes her way to the briefing room with haste, lithe legs carrying her at the fastest pace considered appropriate in Langley’s corridors. Everyone knew Jason Hudson to be a notorious hardass, but he was a decorated one. A long list of achievements had ensured he sat at the echelon of the clandestine operations unit. 

Now he wanted her. Getting called on by Mr. Shades himself was the lifelong dream of the many that worked at Langley, but now that it’s happening the woman can’t deny the sense of apprehension at the prospect. She had worked minor roles under the direction of other handlers in a few of the smaller ops he’s overseen over the years, but felt she had done nothing then to warrant his attention whatsoever. 

There’s little time to ponder, and before long the briefing room door she’d been directed to enters her field of vision. Shoulders squared and breathing deeply through her nose, knuckles meet the worn wood in delicate but firm raps. A deep voice beckons her forth, and she enters. 

Hudson stands at the far end of the table, one hand in his pocket and the other sifting through a stack of papers currently occupying the surface in front of him. 

“Agent Fletcher.” He greets flatly, not even sparing her a glance as he focuses his gaze on the aforementioned sheets of paper.

“Sir.” She returns, thankful that she’s managed to keep the nervous tremble from her voice and replace it with something pleasant and airy instead. Taking a seat, her delicate hands flatten her pressed slacks as she moves. Her selected chair is close, but maintains a respectable enough distance from her superior.  

“Are you familiar with the name Anthony Lipovetsky, agent?” Hudson cuts to the chase, starting as soon as she’s settled. His cold stare shifts to acknowledge her presence, and a chill comes over her as she stares into those signature reflective shades.

They both knew the answer to his question. Aria Fletcher worked mainly in the drug and contraband trafficking sector of the CIA. 

Of course she knew who he was. 

Anthony Lipovetsky had steadily become a pain in the DEA’s ass recently, according to what she had been hearing. Though he wasn’t anyone particularly prolific that warranted the CIA’s attention like some others had. Out of the many individuals Hudson could have pulled her here to ask about, the Russian - American was the least expected.

“Drug trafficker making some big moves along the east coast, but he’s not the biggest fish in the pond.” Aria answers, sounding matter of fact as she stares back at the other. It’s more of a question of a statement. Why him? 

“You’re right. He isn’t, but it’s recently come to our attention that he’s been dabbling into arms smuggling.” Hudson counters, but it still isn’t the answer she’s looking for. 

“Unsurprising. He’s not the first and certainly won’t be the last.” The younger states, but there’s more to this and she knows it. She takes a gamble and makes an educated guess. “Would I be correct in guessing we’re here right now because of his choice in clientele?” 

The female agent can only hope Hudson doesn’t think she’s trying to be a smartass, but all she can do is speculate. It’s the only reasonable assumption that comes to mind seeing as the The CIA doesn’t like it very much when people sell guns to the bad guys, and they especially don’t like it if they’re the type of bad guys who like terrorism. 

“Precisely.” Hudson answers, and the agent has to fight the urge to smile. Right on the ball.

“We have solid intel that he’s been in contact with a soviet agent named Perseus.” The elder continues even seriously, voice grim as he makes the acknowledgment.

Oh. Oh. 

The name Perseus wasn’t one she was familiar with, but the words Soviet Agent had stood out. This was bigger than the domestic drug trade, this was the Soviet Union making way into their backyard. 

This is bad. Very, very bad. 

“So, what’s the plan?” The young woman queries, a touch hesitant at what role she has to play in something that now seems entirely out of her league. 

Hudson’s mouth parts, but a knock at the door interrupts. Her head snaps towards the door as Hudson grants entrance, and in walks Russell Adler. 

Langley legend, ‘America’s Monster’ The man’s in a different league even when compared to a heavyweight like Hudson. He’s pretty much a myth. She’s heard the stories about him, both personal and professional. His portfolio of work is way above her pay grade, and his presence immediately makes the entire thing immensely more interesting. 

She rode an elevator with him once, almost a year back. The encounter was barely a minute long, but she never forgot how devastatingly attractive the man was, with looks that easily could have landed him in Hollywood. Not to mention the way the man carried himself, assertive and with an undeniable dominance. 

Adler doesn’t introduce himself, and doesn’t even spare her a glance nor a word as he takes the seat adjacent to Hudson. His shaded eyes are focused straight ahead as he pulls a cigarette from the pack he seemingly carried in, perching the stick between his lips and igniting it with a zippo lighter that had appeared from God knows where. 

Aria hadn’t realized she had been staring until Hudson tosses something at her from his place at the table, the sound jolting her back to attention. A manila folder glides quietly across the stained wood to land neatly in front of her, only two words on the front.

Operation Ocelot. 

“Let’s get started.” Hudson announces. She opens the file, and things begin to unravel. 

——————————————————————

As it turns out, Operation Ocelot consists of a covert insertion of two agents into Anthony Lipovetsky’s Miami home. That part sounds simple enough, but the devil is definitely in the details.

For the time being, it was prudent Lipovetsky’s connection to Perseus remained intact. They needed a paper trail to follow, and one they could follow without arousing Lipovetsky’s suspicion. There was no real point in spying on someone if they knew they were being spied on.

“The target is well guarded, the man has a price on his head and he’s well aware. Armed security teams around the clock, cameras around the house, the whole package.” Hudson states, slides on the projector screen behind him changing to show a floorplan of the house. 

“Is this where I come in?” Aria questions, it’s easy to assume that’s the only reason why she’s here. 

It seems they’ve selected her to be the honeypot, an unfortunate consequence of being at the very least a mildly attractive woman in the CIA. Sexuality had proven to be man’s greatest weakness time and time again, and it become just a part of the job. She knew if it was something she didn’t want to do, she could easily say no. But then again, she had killed many people in her time as an agent, and one had quickly learned how to detach emotions from entire aspects of life as necessary. 

It’s a blink and you’ll miss it moment, but she swears she sees Hudson and Adler share a look before the former answers her. “It’s where you and Adler come in.” 

Adler in the meanwhile, hasn’t spoken throughout the entire thing. He hadn’t even looked at her yet, his sightline having been maintained firmly on the projector screen ahead as Hudson led the briefing. The end of his cigarette had burned red in the darkness as he took steady pulls from it throughout, the only sign of life in an otherwise detached and glacial man. 

And now, Russell Adler is looking at her. Dark aviators like twin blackholes that threaten to swallow her whole. 

At this point the young agent is visibly confused, as demonstrated by Hudson moving to clarify the statement. “Through our surveillance program we’ve been able to observe the targets' routines and behaviours, and it has been noted that Lipovetsky has a particular…habit.” 

“He wants a threesome?” Aria blurts, now fiddling with the gold chain on her neck. 

This whole thing just got really fucking weird. 

Hudson’s mouth parts, likely looking for a way to word the whole thing professionally, but to her utter surprise Adler is the one who decides to cut to the chase. 

“He likes taking home married couples.” He states bluntly, nonchalant as he focuses on crushing the charred stub of his cigarette in the ashtray in front of him. 

It’s the first time she’s ever heard Adler speak, his voice low and warm. Though it’s not the sort of warmth one would typically associate with kindness, but rather it brings to mind the heat of a fire and danger. There’s a roughness there too, likely from his smoking, but oh how well does it suit him.

“Oh. Well, that’s…interesting.” Aria huffs with a laugh, feeling honestly a bit relieved. There were definitely weirder things in the world that people were into that she feared. Instead, her body tingles with interest. Married couple. 

“Why me then? This isn’t necessarily my normal line of work.” The woman questions. They could have chosen anyone, but they had chosen her. Hundreds of beautiful women worked here everyday but they somehow settled on her? 

“You both make an…attractive pair. You fit the bill in terms of the target’s preferences, as well the vacation demographic in the city.” Hudson says, arms crossed at his chest. “Apart from that, you’ve so far had an impressive field career, your performance is consistent and high quality.” 

The female agent can’t help the pride that burns in her chest at the praise from such a distinguished and highly respected man like Jason Hudson. Everything suddenly felt like a dream. 

“There’s a lot to lose here, we need more than a pretty face. You’ve got what we need.” Hudson emphasizes, the importance of this mission heavily ingrained to the back of her mind. 

“So…I’m going to play Adler’s pretty little trophy wife and then we’re going to collectively seduce our way into his house?” Aria wonders aloud, Adler and Hudson not moving to interrupt and permitting her speculation to continue. “And then what? Are we expected to fuck the information out of him?” 

Hudson sighs, pinching at his brow in exasperation. Adler jumps in once more, saving Hudson from further embarrassment. “We’re gonna slip him a sedative before things get to that. Special cocktail that’ll make him think he just drank a little too much.”

“Oh, thank god.” The youngest utters under her breath, relieved. Things were definitely easier that way.

“Once he’s out, we’ll mess with the camera system, do recon, collect intel, then get the fuck out.” Adler finishes, intense stare levelled right at her once more. She couldn’t help but squirm, he was almost too much to handle just by existing.

And God, she could listen to that voice all day. She was going to listen to it all day in a short matter of time.

She really loved her job sometimes.

“Sounds simple enough.” Aria resigns, casual as she accepted that her life was just really going to be this outlandish for the next little while. 

“You and Adler will set out the day before and go through the motions and leave a paper trail of your own. The target might try and track you both down just to check his bases.” Hudson adds, arms crossed as he switches his gaze back and forth between her and Adler. 

“If we leave evidence that we’re just a normal couple doing normal things, it’ll reassure the target there wasn’t any outside involvement and we weren’t up to no good.” Aria finishes, one arm perched on the armrest of her chair and the other fiddling with her pen as she returns Hudson’s gaze. 

“Precisely.” Hudson agrees, voice carrying the smallest hint of sympathy. 

It’s almost like he feels bad for her. 

Hudson dismisses them soon after, handing them directives on the particulars of their individual roles and aliases. Adler storms ahead of her to the exit, moving out without so much as acknowledging her once again.

He was an asshole, but a ridiculously good looking one. She would learn to play his game soon enough, and oh, she would press his buttons.

Hudson is quick to catch her disgruntled reaction at Adler’s behaviour. “Adler’s not the most personable, but he’s a damn good agent. He’ll have your back.” The elder reassures, perhaps seeking to soothe the burn of the other’s abrasive nature. 

The woman sighs, turning to flash Hudson a tight lipped smile. “I’ll figure him out, I’m not worried.”

She finishes packing away her items and gets ready to leave, eager to get started on the work ahead. Hudson calls her again as she reaches the door, making her pause in her tracks.

“Remember agent, don’t let me down.” 

Nodding with silent determination, she leaves.

[ariainstars]

Umberto Eco on Fascism

I am blogging Eco’s words here because many people don’t seem to understand what “fascism” actually is by definition. The word, together with “Nazi”, seems to have become an overall definition for “evil”, or as a meaning to offend someone by accusing them of being narrow-minded, elitist and enabling violence.This is particularly disturbing within the Star Wars fandom.

The main points of Umberto Eco’s 1995 essay on „Ur-Fascism“.

1.  The cult of tradition. “One has only to look at the syllabus of every fascist movement to find the major traditionalist thinkers. The Nazi gnosis was nourished by traditionalist, syncretistic, occult elements.”

2.  The rejection of modernism. “The Enlightenment, the Age of Reason, is seen as the beginning of modern depravity. In this sense Ur-Fascism can be defined as irrationalism.”

3.  The cult of action for action’s sake. “Action being beautiful in itself, it must be taken before, or without, any previous reflection. Thinking is a form of emasculation.”

4.  Disagreement is treason. “The critical spirit makes distinctions, and to distinguish is a sign of modernism. In modern culture the scientific community praises disagreement as a way to improve knowledge.”

5.  Fear of difference. “The first appeal of a fascist or prematurely fascist movement is an appeal against the intruders. Thus Ur-Fascism is racist by definition.”

6.  Appeal to social frustration. “One of the most typical features of the historical fascism was the appeal to a frustrated middle class, a class suffering from an economic crisis or feelings of political humiliation, and frightened by the pressure of lower social groups.”

7.  To those who lack any social identity, Ur-Fascism suggests that their only privilege is the most common of all, i.e. having all been born in the same country. This is the origin of nationalism and why the only ones who can offer an identity to the nation are the alleged enemies. This leads to the obsession with a plot. “Thus at the root of the Ur-Fascist psychology there is the obsession with a plot, possibly an international one. The followers must feel besieged.” The easiest way to expose a plot is to apply to xenophobia. But the complot must also come from the inside, which explains why during Nazi Germany Jews seemed an ideal object for this, since they at once belonged to the country by living there and did not belong since they identified as Jews.

8.     Followers must feel humiliated by the assumed wealth and strength of the enemies. Eco recalls that when he was small, he was told that Englishmen had five repasts every day, contrarily to Italians who were seen as simpler and more sober people. Jews were all assumed to be rich and helping one another through a secret network of reciprocate assistance. The followers must however be convinced that they can “win” over their enemies, thus the enemy is seen as both strong and weak. “By a continuous shifting of rhetorical focus, the enemies are at the same time too strong and too weak.”

9.     Pacifism is trafficking with the enemy. “For Ur-Fascism there is no struggle for life but, rather, life is lived for struggle.”

10.  Contempt for the weak. “Elitism is a typical aspect of any reactionary ideology.”

11.  Everybody is educated to become a hero. “In Ur-Fascist ideology, heroism is the norm. This cult of heroism is strictly linked with the cult of death.”

12.  Machismo and weaponry. “Machismo implies both disdain for women and intolerance and condemnation of nonstandard sexual habits, from chastity to homosexuality.”

13.  Selective populism. “There is in our future a TV or internet populism, in which the emotional response of a selected group of citizens can be presented and accepted as the Voice of the People.”

14.  Ur-Fascism speaks Newspeak. “All the Nazi or Fascist schoolbooks made use of an impoverished vocabulary, and an elementary syntax, in order to limit the instruments for complex and critical reasoning.”

 By contrast, I would like to leave a note on imperialism here.

“Imperialism - state policy, practice, or advocacy of extending power and dominion, especially by direct territorial acquisition or by gaining political and economic control of other areas. Because it always involves the use of power, whether military or economic or some subtler form, imperialism has often been considered morally reprehensible, and the term is frequently employed in international propaganda to denounce and discredit an opponent’s foreign policy.” (Source: Encyclopaedia Britannica)

I cannot find any parallel between the Empire and the First Order and fascist / Nazi ideology. Their political and military structure is clearly imperialistic, but any of the above-mentioned mindsets are nowhere to be seen. It would be absolutely unfitting for a franchise of action movies, where the average moviegoer simply wants to be entertained, to introduce such a highly charged and complex subject. (On a side note: Darth Vader’s Theme, which we first hear in “The Empire Strikes Back”, the movie where both he and the Empire are at the peak of their power, is called The Imperial March.)

One of the main reasons why I often hear Palpatine’s Empire or Snoke’s First Order being referred to as fascism or a Nazi regime is the destruction of the planet of Alderaan respectively of the Hosnian Prime system, which is called “genocide”.

The destruction of Alderaan and the Hosnian Prime system by the Empire and the First Order aimed at showing the galaxy the extreme destructive power of their oppressor’s weapons in order to terrify them and keep any rebellion at bay. Alderaan and Hosnian Prime were situated at coordinates in the galaxy where their destruction would be witnessed by many other planets. In A New Hope, the actual rebel base is dismissed by Moff Tarkin as being too far away to be suitable as an actual demonstration of the Empire’s power. The races, cultures, religions etc. of the people living on those planets were not of the least interest to them (see points 6, 7 and 8 above). Fascism was not at the root of those mass murders, terrible as they are.

I have never heard or read any Star Wars fan saying that the Empire or the First Order actually were morally good. It is unacceptable that as a fan, one is dismissed as being a fascist or a Nazi respectively someone who supports these awful mindsets.

Yes, some of us understand and feel for characters like Anakin Skywalker / Darth Vader and Kylo Ren / Ben Solo. That does not make us members of a “Nazi boy fan club”: the whole above-mentioned ideology is out of the question.

I have never heard anyone, as well, pretend that these two men did nothing bad and or that they are secretly good. Nobody is doubting or questioning their terrible choices. The point of their stories was to show that they both had once been good, that some good was still left in them and showed itself in the end, that they largely also were a product of their environment and that their fates, and the fates of the many who suffered through them, could have been avoided. It is easy to say “Everybody has a choice / I would never do such a thing” when, as a mere spectator, one is in a wholly different situation.

I will write another entry on the subject of psychological abuse to clarify why I don’t defend Star Wars’ villains but can understand them in their complexity and appreciate the narrative for not simply telling morally black and white stories.

I kindly ask anyone who reads this to please stick to facts instead of blindly attacking fans over a fictional story using terms they don’t quite understand believing by that to prove their own morality. Thank you.

[ais-n]

2| and where is the trauma? both hsin and boyd were severely sexually abused. and emilio's illness is always treated as a joke. look Ais, your series has done me so much good between the bad it did. i found i'm gay lmao and i'm grateful for that. i'm grateful that you wrote this ok. but there are things that were offensive, and maybe it was unconscious, since i doubt you wanted to be racist or write a mlm relationship but more like hetero. i wish i could just enjoy the books but my heart breaks

3| idk what the one who questioned that could possibly mean between all the things but thats what i mean. i appreciate you a lot. i hope this didn’t make you feel worse or whatever. but some people really did end up hurt badly after reading icos and im one of them. with all respect, and hope that i didnt disturb you much, farewell.

++++++++++++

Aha I just realized I can put both 2nd and 3rd asks in one! Which is good because, again, the gay comment makes me laugh out loud XD As I said in the other post, thank you again for reaching out, for explaining your concerns, and for the courage you no doubt had to bring forth in order to do so.

I’m getting right into the answers in this one although I will probably ask more questions for clarification on some of the points, as I did on the first one, to make sure I’m not misunderstanding or misinterpreting anything.

More below the cut! :)

EMILIO’S ILLNESS

I’m really sorry but I wasn’t sure what you meant by that. Which illness? How is it treated as a joke? Could you clarify? 

TRAUMA

So this I thought was super interesting that you felt there was no representation of trauma in ICoS, or I assume you also mean its aftereffects. That’s actually one of the few points I feel pretty confident saying the series does portray a lot of, both in some cases the experience of it and in other cases the repercussions. 

One of the reasons both of them are so severely dysfunctional individually and together is because of trauma.

I don’t want to muddy up this post with a huge tangent but someone had asked a few years ago about the result of the Aleixo mission on Boyd, if he was diagnosed with anything, and so on. If you’re interested, I wrote a long ass reply about the psychological effect of sex trafficking on survivors/victims and talked about some of the things you see Boyd do that are a bit reflective of that. More info at https://aisness.wordpress.com/2015/01/28/boyd-aleixo-psychology/

I think there probably would be more information on all this by now, or at least I certainly hope there would be, but at the time of writing Fade that was the sort of research that was available. 

Although, full disclosure, I don’t tend to write characters looking up the DSM symptoms for this or that; I write what feels right for them psychologically, mentally, emotionally, and oftentimes later look it up and realize they would have likely been diagnosed with this or that thing or they could be displaying traits of this or that.

At any rate, with Boyd, his trauma started early on, and pretty much everything about him is a reflection of that in some form. I don’t see trauma as specific to sexual assault; it’s most certainly a result of that but also of many other things. Boyd dealt with a lot of neglect and/or emotional abuse as a child, he was bullied by his peers, and generally speaking it was difficult for him to feel like he belonged anywhere. He was very often judged by others, often negatively, for things completely outside of his control, like his parents, their jobs, his home, the amount of money his family had, his looks, etc. 

If you look at the Mayo Clinic’s list of child abuse, Boyd falls pretty well under emotional abuse and a bit under neglect, and you can especially see the toll that had on his personality by reading the signs and symptoms of emotional abuse in particular:

Loss of self-confidence or self-esteem

Social withdrawal or a loss of interest or enthusiasm

Depression

Avoidance of certain situations, such as refusing to go to school or ride the bus

Desperately seeks affection

And general symptoms:

Withdrawal from friends or usual activities

Depression, anxiety or unusual fears, or a sudden loss of self-confidence

An apparent lack of supervision

Self-harm or attempts at suicide 

If you look at Complex PTSD, and in particular Developmental Trauma Disorder (DTD) you can see a lot of Hsin:

Attachment – “problems with relationship boundaries, lack of trust, social isolation, difficulty perceiving and responding to others’ emotional states”

Behavioural control – “problems with impulse control, aggression, pathological self-soothing, and sleep problems”

Dissociation – “amnesia, depersonalization, discrete states of consciousness with discrete memories, affect, and functioning, and impaired memory for state-based events”

I wouldn’t say Hsin dissociates quite that extensively but I feel like he does display some dissociative tendencies at times.

Boyd has some too, like

Self-concept – “fragmented and disconnected autobiographical narrative, disturbed body image, low self-esteem, excessive shame, and negative internal working models of self”.

I think in some ways you could argue they both display aspects of:

Affect or emotional regulation – “poor affect regulation, difficulty identifying and expressing emotions and internal states, and difficulties communicating needs, wants, and wishes”

When Boyd was little, he often wondered why other people were treated better than him - why, when he was getting perfect grades, he was going above and beyond whenever possible, when he was trying to be “a good boy” all the time, when he went out of his way to stay quiet and not bother anyone – why, despite all his attempts, other people were celebrate yet he was reviled, even if the people being celebrated were awful people doing awful things. He used to study other people relentlessly, trying to understand what it was about them that made them acceptable and what it was about him that made him not.

That’s why, despite being such an introvert, he’s good at blending in and going undercover; it’s why he can adjust to new situations and, in a way, act - because he always had to monitor and adjust himself his whole life just to feel seen and loved. His dad loved him on his own so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but with the trauma that came from the loss of his dad, and what happened with Lou, plus everything afterward, it really messed everything up.

Boyd was not a victim of childhood sexual abuse, but more of emotional abuse. Well, I guess, I should say for the most part he wasn’t.

Hsin was definitely a victim of childhood sexual abuse and probably physical abuse (that bit I can’t recall for sure). He was raped even as a small child, and that led into different aspects of his life. One reason, for example, he would go berserk and was seen by the Agency as unreliable in cases of him seeing sexual assault was because he saw, in some way, himself in those victims. It was probably his way of protecting people when he hadn’t been protected, himself. 

I can’t speak too much on Hsin’s specific mental health status or repercussions because I didn’t write him so I’m not fully in his mind, but I do know that sort of berserker aspect is part of what came from his sexual abuse and physical abuse and just generally how he grew up. If I recall correctly, a lot of that led into why he was so unstable and dangerous when Emilio first found him; why it took so long to get Hsin to find a way to deal with the violence and aggression and anger in him, in addition to everything else that would have happened regardless of that childhood trauma. Why, too, it was such a huge deal when Boyd was able to earn Hsin’s trust, because he had learned in his life to trust almost no one.

You can see some of the way they both display aspects of C-PTSD as adults as well in the list at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder#Adults

I should be clear: I am NOT a psychiatrist or psychologist so I’m not suggesting that they would be specifically diagnosed with any of these disorders were they to get official diagnoses. However, the reason I bring it up is to show that a lot of the series reflects the way their coping mechanisms lead them to interact within themselves and with the outside world, all of which is often directly or indirectly tied to trauma.

Why is Boyd so terrified of anyone seeing him without his shirt in the beginning? Trauma. Why is he depressed? Trauma. Why is he suicidal? Trauma. Why does he go out of his way to avoid a certain block? Trauma. I would have to look at specific symptoms of different things but I would guess that you could also tie back some of his instability and his sometimes inconsistent reactions to trauma as well. Sometimes he does things or says things that may seem a bit reckless, or cold, or some other unexpected thing at that time - and a lot of times it’s probably in part related to how he learned to cope with things and what his levels of defensiveness are or his fears are at that moment. But he also has a complete inability to see the good in himself for a long time which also ties back, I would think, to some of the things he experienced growing up/previously.

Boyd is an incredibly unreliable narrator. He spends most of his narration thinking about how awful he is, how he should just die, how he isn’t doing a good enough job, and so forth. Yet, that fails to show the impact of some of his choices and decisions. Boyd was pretty much the first person to treat Hsin like a normal human being, to not see him as a surrogate of anything or anyone, to not have any ulterior motives or expectations of him (no matter how well-intentioned), and to truly gain his trust as a result. Yet, Boyd didn’t really see it that way. He didn’t see how important it was for Hsin that he ended up in his life; he didn’t get why Hsin was exasperated the times Boyd said he (Boyd) should just die, that there was no value to his life. He didn’t believe he could be loved so he couldn’t see it was even a possibility at first. Therefore, he spends a lot of his narration over the series belittling himself and downplaying any of his own achievements while simultaneously rewarding or acknowledging what others around him are doing. Not every moment of his narration, of course, but his default state of self is to think he sucks and others are probably better.

Conversely, Hsin is a confident narrator. He often doesn’t doubt himself, doesn’t care what other people think, and is very sure of himself in a lot of aspects like his physical prowess which, itself, is already above and beyond nearly everyone else. Yet he also learned not to trust or rely on anyone else in his life, so he’s incredibly suspicious of others because that’s how he had to learn to be. So, especially in the beginning of the series, in his narration he tends to be very factual about his own achievements and not shy away from acknowledging the things that are powerful about him (even if he doesn’t always see it as anything that special), while simultaneously seeking out anything untrustworthy, unreliable, incompetent, or unworthy about those around him. His narration tends to point out the flaws of those around him because he learned that if he doesn’t protect himself, he’s vulnerable, and when he’s vulnerable he gets hurt.

The result of that is, if you read their narrations straight as if it’s all perfectly reliable, Boyd seems even more unreliable and Hsin seems even more perfect than they actually are, because their default states of being overlap in a manner which magnifies the flaws in Boyd and the merits in Hsin. 

Both of them learned to be how they were because of how they were raised, what they went through, and more. Same as how they react to various things throughout the series.

I can’t more specifically comment on anything without knowing what in particular you were thinking of when commenting in the ask about trauma and sexual abuse. But I think generally speaking, they already start the series having learned coping mechanisms that work for them based on trauma they already individually experienced. Those coping mechanisms end up oftentimes being challenged and at times destroyed or reworked throughout the course of the series. That is what leads to a lot of their ups and downs as individuals and as a couple; why their story isn’t a straight arc going up but instead derails a lot. And why they both spend the entirety of the series coming to terms with who they are both internally and externally, and what that means for their relationship, and how they can find a way to grow as a person and a significant other. They both ultimately have to work on trust; Boyd has to learn to trust himself, Hsin has to learn to trust others, and they have to learn to trust each other.

The way people deal with trauma is not the same for everyone. Sexual abuse doesn’t result in the same reaction for all people. I’m not sure if maybe one of the things you were thinking is maybe about sexual abuse during the series itself? I already linked something that goes more in depth on Fade so I won’t touch on that book, and I really can’t speak for Hsin because he isn’t my character so I don’t want to misrepresent his thought process as hidden behind narration or actions at different points.

The only other thing I can think of that maybe you’re thinking about is Boyd’s valentine status, and how he doesn’t seem to have overtly strong reactions to anything until Fade. If that’s one aspect of what you were thinking about, part of that is just how Boyd deals with things. He tends to avoid things that are difficult for him or he has difficulty focusing on, and oftentimes shuts down emotionally. 

I think honestly he probably dissociated to some extent during a lot of things; kind of separated his body from his mind and felt like whatever happened, happened. For a lot of the time that he was a valentine early on, he had such little love for himself that regardless of how upsetting anything was, how little he wanted to do certain things, he felt on some level like he deserved it. Some things were probably a subconscious form of self-punishment for being born, for being who he is, for surviving when Lou didn’t, for surviving when his dad didn’t, for never being enough for his mother, for just plain existing. Then as time went on he grew to rely on Hsin and find strength in him. It’s also not like every mission he had was a valentine one, or even that every valentine has to end in anything physical. 

That’s why he was able to find ways of dealing with things in some form, even if he didn’t like it or was uncomfortable at times, until the Aleixo mission. He thought he knew how to handle things; he thought he had found apt coping mechanisms. But that mission tore that all apart and nearly destroyed him. His coping mechanisms didn’t work the way they had and now he had to find a new way to survive, and from there came a lot of his instability and more that you see in Fade and as I mention in that blog post.

But in short, I feel like the majority of the series ends up touching, indirectly or directly, on some form of trauma as experienced currently or in the past by one or more of the main characters, and their resulting actions then drive the plot. That is one thing we were very specific about doing: having the plot adjust to the characters rather than force the characters to adjust to the plot. That’s why Afterimage exists, actually; the original plan was sort of like 3/4 of Evenfall and then kind of jumping into aspects of Fade. But we realized at the end of Evenfall that certain things would occur which would then lead to Afterimage and Afterimage then led into aspects of Interludes, which then led into aspects of right before Fade, which then affected a huge part of Fade itself, which then informed 1/27. We didn’t set out to write a series specifically about trauma, it’s just sort of one of those things that happens if you take two characters who have been treated so cruelly or poorly for so much of their lives, and put them together as any sort of team - but especially a team that becomes a couple, and a couple that becomes all but married.

+ +

Regarding the other stuff, I haven’t had a chance yet to check if you answered my question about the hetero relationship comment, so I can’t comment on that until I know more of what you mean. But I would say that generally speaking, I don’t know that I believe it’s necessarily fair to label anything as strictly “hetero” vs “m/m” vs anything else for a relationship. That brings with it a lot of assumptions of what it means to be not only gay or LGBTQIA+, but also straight. It seems to suggest there is only a single way or a very strict set of ways for a cis male and a cis female to be together both in a relationship and to have sex, and I guess I don’t feel like that’s necessarily reflective of reality. People are very complex and so are their relationships, as well as their sex lives.

I’m not sure how specifically the series ended up hurting you but I’m very sorry you felt hurt by anything. That’s a terrible feeling to have to experience. I hope that in whatever way, however it may work best for you, you have the time and space to reflect and recover and rejuvenate. You, like everyone, deserve it.

And honestly, if that means you have to leave the series completely in your past, never to think about it again, if that’s what’s healthiest for you, I truly wish you are able to do so. Stories are there to connect with other people, to share our thoughts and sometimes help us work our way through our own while reading. No story is worth your mental health being put in question. If it is truly upsetting to you to think about the series, it is absolutely not worth your energy. You are more important than a story will ever be. Everyone is. And I say that despite how much I love and rely on stories to get me through life.

If part of your duress is you like aspects of the writing style but the series itself and its contents upset you, you could try reading some other stuff. I have some things I wrote solo that you can find on my AO3 if you want. But also you can find other writers entirely. Depending on what you’re looking for in a story, and the sort of topics you’ve learned work well for you or don’t work well for you, you should be able to find a ton of great series out there and great authors out there who will leave you with the happier aspects of your reaction to ICoS without anything more detrimental like it sounds happened for you with ICoS.

Regardless, I truly wish you the very best. As I said in the other one, please stay healthy and safe! And, if you’re in a place to manage it, stay happy as well :)

Brightest of blessings to you and yours, my friend!

[hopeandjusticefoundation]

Human Trafficking contributes to its end!

In the history of the world, territories were being delineated through the slave trade where violence, submission and profit were strategies imposed on the routes explored.

      Slavery did not begin in the cotton fields of North America or in the vast fields of sugar cane and coffee in South America. This unfortunate tragedy in humanity is as old as the formation of the first social centers and with these criminal systems installed, the history was thus established. The scope of this system was so wide and complex that for a long time it was impossible to understand and explain all its mechanisms.

      The main aspect of the human trafficking industry is the economic one. this is what drives and sustains crime. Human trafficking works within the logic of the market of supply and demand and that is where it is leveraged, in proportion to the demand that drives it.

      Therefore, identifying and combating it is the path that will determine the failure of human trafficking. It was with the slave trade that this practice began, which was widely disseminated and, with social changes, new criminal organizations emerged, using new tactics to attract Human Trafficking. Thus, it became the second most profitable business on the planet, reaching the figure of more than US $ 150 billion per year. Human trafficking is a form of modern slavery with economic, political and cultural issues. Victims (slaves) are the essential energy and driving force of these “criminal empires”.

     The growth in demand for this crime is the result of a culture that has been defended and applauded by much of today's society, that is, in the permissiveness of "everything can", "this is nothing too much" and that "the ends justify the means “, in addition to the aspect of emotional need. The consumption of pornography, porn videos and magazines, sex shop, strip clubs, brothels and portitution. Unscrupulous entrepreneurs who use this slave labor as well as pedophiles, are in all social strata of the most diverse origins, races, gender, color, religion and profession. There is no standard for identifying them, which is why it is so important to seek enough information on this topic as a form of prevention. Educating, clarifying, alerting in the environment we live in, contributes to this demand continue to be decimated. And in this chaotic social universe, such behaviors contribute significantly to the increase in demand for this criminal modality.

      Clarify that sex is not bought and sold are basic lessons to educate. Remember that the consumption of pornographic material contributes too much to the increase of the trafficking industry can change paradigms, mental patterns and is of great contribution to fight this “war”.

      Today more than 40 million people are being enslaved, forced to work in the most unsanitary conditions and to exchange sex for money to benefit traffickers exclusively. Women and children with poor diet, suffering brutal physical and psychological violence are the majority in this ordeal. Our contribution to stop this demand can be huge, so each city in the face of this sad reality can be trained for this “help”!

Article by Anna Alves-Lazero - President Founder

Brasileiras & BrasileirasNewspaper   , Inc. // Vol 25 // Num 11 // November 2019 www.jornalbb.com

[96thdayofrage]

Per the memorandum, Barr has “directed the Department [of Justice] and the FBI to lead an effort to refine our ability to identify, assess and engage potential mass shooters before they strike.” The Attorney General further described the coming initiative, slated to be implemented early next year, as “an efficient, effective and programmatic strategy to disrupt individuals who are mobilizing towards violence, by all lawful means.” More specific information about the program is set to follow the recent memorandum, according to Barr, though it is unclear if that forthcoming document will be made public.

Barr also requested that those who received the memorandum send their “best and brightest” to a training conference at FBI headquarters this coming December where the DOJ, FBI and “private sector partners” will prepare for the full implementation of the new policy and will also be able to provide “new ideas” for inclusion in the program.

Perhaps the most jarring aspect of the memorandum is Barr’s frank admission that many of the “early engagement” tactics that the new program would utilize were “born of the posture we adopted with respect to terrorist threats.” In other words, the foundation for many of the policies utilized following the post-9/11 “war on terror” are also the foundation for the “early engagement” tactics that Barr seeks to use to identify potential criminals as part of this new policy. Though those “war on terror” policies have largely targeted individuals abroad, Barr’s memorandum makes it clear that some of those same controversial tactics will soon be used domestically. 

Barr’s memorandum also alludes to current practices by the FBI and DOJ that will shape the new plan. Though more specifics of the new policy will be provided in the forthcoming notice, Barr notes that “newly developed tactics” used by the Joint Terrorist Task Forces “include the use of clinical psychologists, threat assessment professionals, intervention teams and community groups” to detect risk and suggests that the new “early engagement program” will work along similar lines. Barr also alludes to this “community” approach in a separate instance, when he writes that “when the public ‘says something’ to alert us to a potential threat, we must do something.”

However, the memorandum differentiates suspected terrorists from the individuals this new program is set to pursue. Barr states that, unlike many historical terrorism cases, “many of today’s public safety threats appear abruptly and with sometimes only ambiguous indications of intent” and that many of these individuals “exhibit symptoms of mental illness and/or have substance abuse problems.”

Thus, the goal of the program is ostensibly to circumvent these issues by finding new and likely controversial ways to determine intent. As will be shown later in this report, Barr’s recent actions suggest that the way this will be accomplished is through increased mass surveillance of everyday Americans and the use of algorithms to analyze that bulk data for vaguely defined symptoms of “mental illness.”

Barr also suggested the likely courses of action that would follow the identification of a given individual as a “potential mass shooter.” The Attorney General notes that in past cases individuals deemed a violent or terroristic threat before they commit a crime are subject to “detention, court-ordered mental health treatment, substance abuse counseling, electronic monitoring”, among other measures. Ostensibly, the new program would then apply these same practices to individuals in the U.S. that federal authorities believe are “mobilizing towards violence,” as Barr put it.

Bill Barr’s been busy

The memorandum, despite heralding a new era of Orwellian surveillance and “pre-crime” on a national level, has been sparsely covered by the mainstream media. One of the few reports that did cover the new Justice Department policy, published Wednesday by the Huffington Post, framed the new Barr-led initiative as largely positive and asserted that the “anti-terror tactics” to which Barr alluded could “help thwart mass shooters.” No mention was made in the piece of the threat such a program is likely to pose to civil liberties.

Furthermore, no mention was made of Barr’s clear push over the past few months to lay the groundwork for this recently announced program. Indeed, since becoming Attorney General under President Trump, Barr has spearheaded numerous efforts to this end, including pushing for a government backdoor into consumer apps or devices that utilize encryption and for a dramatic increase of long-standing yet controversial warrantless electronic surveillance programs. 

On July 23rd, Barr gave the keynote address at the 2019 International Conference on Cyber Security (ICCS) and mainly focused on the need for consumer electronic products and applications that use encryption to offer a “backdoor” for the government, specifically law enforcement, in order to obtain access to encrypted communications as a matter of public safety.

Barr went onto say that “warrant-proof encryption is also seriously impairing our ability to monitor and combat domestic and foreign terrorists.” Barr stated that “smaller terrorist groups and ‘lone wolf’ actors” — such as those involved in the series of mass shootings in California, Texas and Ohio that occurred in the weeks after his speech — “have turned increasingly to encryption.” Barr later noted that he was specifically referencing encryption used by “consumer products and services such as messaging, smartphones, email, and voice and data applications.”

 

To overcome the resistance by some private companies — who do not want to renege on their right to privacy by giving the government backdoor access to their devices — and American consumers, Barr tellingly anticipated “a major incident may occur at any time that will galvanize public opinion on these issues.” Shortly after this speech, several mass shootings, including one at an El Paso Walmart took place, which again brought the issue to the forefront of political discourse. 

As MintPress reported at the time, Barr’s uncanny prediction and a litany of other oddities related to the El Paso shooting left many answered questions about the FBI’s foreknowledge of the event. In addition, the tragedy did appear to serve as the very “galvanizing” event that Barr had anticipated, as the solution offered by President Trump in the wake of the shootings was the creation of a government backdoor into encryption as well as calling for the very pre-crime system Barr formally announced just last week.

The pre-crime dragnet takes shape

More recently, Barr and U.K. Home Secretary Priti Patel signed a data access agreement on October 3rd that allows both countries to demand electronic data on consumers from tech companies based in the other country without legal restrictions. It is the first executive agreement reached as part of the controversial Clarifying Overseas Use of Data Act or CLOUD Act passed by the U.S. Congress last year. 

The CLOUD Act has come under fire from rights groups who have warned that the legislation gives “unlimited jurisdiction to U.S. law enforcement over any data controlled by a service provider, regardless of where the data is stored and who created it” and that this also “applies to content, metadata, and subscriber information”, including private messages.

Yet, Barr and Patel claimed that the data access agreement will instead “enhance” civil liberties and further asserted that the agreement would be used to go after “pedophiles” and “organized crime”, even though both Barr and his U.K. equivalent have shown minimal interest in pursuing the co-conspirators of child sex trafficker and pedophile Jeffrey Epstein, whose sex trafficking network has been linked to both organized crime and the intelligence agencies of both the U.S. and Israel. Some have charged that the lack of interest on the part of William Barr is due to the fact that Barr’s father once hired the now deceased pedophile.

Notably, Jeffrey Epstein also had an apparent interest in pre-crime technologies, and was a key funder of the controversial technology company Carbyne911, along with former Israeli Prime Minister and close Epstein associate Ehud Barak. Carbyne911 is one of several Israeli companies that market their software products to the U.S. as a means of reducing mass shootings and improving the response times of emergency service providers. These companies boast numerous and troubling connections to the governments and intelligence communities of both the U.S. and Israel. Epstein, himself linked to the intelligence apparatuses of both nations, invested at least $1 million in Carbyne911 through a “data mining” company he controlled. 

As was detailed in a recent MintPress exposé on these companies, Carbyne911 and similar companies extract any and all data from consumer smartphones for merely making emergency calls and then use it to “analyze the past and present behavior of their callers, react accordingly, and in time predict future patterns,” with the ultimate goal of smart devices making emergency calls to the authorities, as opposed to human beings. 

Data obtained from these software products, already used by several U.S. counties and slated to be adopted nationwide as part of a new national “next generation” 911 system, will then be shared with the same law enforcement agencies who will soon be implementing Barr’s “national disruption and early engagement program” to target individuals flagged as potentially violent based on vague criteria. 

Notably, following the El Paso shooting, President Trump has been mulling the creation of a new federal agency known as HARPA that would work with the Department of Justice to use “breakthrough technologies with high specificity and sensitivity for early diagnosis of neuropsychiatric violence,” specifically “advanced analytical tools based on artificial intelligence and machine learning.” The data to be analyzed would be harvested from consumer electronic devices as well as information provided by health-care providers to identify who may be a threat.

It is important to point out that such initiatives, whether HARPA or Barr’s newly announced program, are likely to define “mental illness” to include some political beliefs, given that the FBI recently stated in an internal memo that “conspiracy theories” were motivating some domestic terror threats and a series of questionable academic studies have sought to link “conspiracy theorists” to mental illnesses. Thus, the Department of Justice and “mental health professionals” have essentially already defined those who express disbelief in official government narratives as both a terror threat and mentally ill — and thus worthy of special attention from pre-crime programs.

Sleepwalking into a nightmare

This widely overlooked background is crucial to understanding William Barr’s recent memorandum and the massive and greatly underreported shift in the policy it heralds. Over a period of several months, Barr — aided by “private sector partners” as well as other current and former government officials — has been laying the groundwork for the system he has now formally announced.

Through the software products offered by companies like Carbyne911 and through Barr’s personal crusade to mandate government backdoors into encrypted software and products, Barr’s new pre-crime program already has the tools for the mass extraction and storage of consumer data by means of both private tech companies and public services like emergency call centers. 

Through the already drafted plan for HARPA and its proposed solution to identifying “mental illness” via artificial intelligence and machine learning, this newly announced “pre-crime” program will have the means to analyze the mass of data harvested from consumer electronic devices from Carbyne and other means using vague “mental health criteria.”

While many of the specifics of the program remain unknown, the actions of Barr and others in government and private sectors show that this newly announced initiative is the product of years of careful planning and many of the tactics and tools it is poised to use have been in the works for months and even years.

In recent decades, and especially after the September 11 attacks, Americans have quietly traded an increasing number of civil liberties for increased government “counter-terrorism” programs and wars purportedly waged to “keep us safe.” Now, those same policies used to target “terrorists” are set to be used against ordinary Americans, whose electronic lives and communications are now set to be scoured for evidence of “mental illness.” If these untransparent algorithms flag an individual, that could be enough lead to court-ordered “mental health treatment” or even imprisonment regardless of whether or not a crime was committed or even planned.

As a consequence, William Barr’s coming “pre-crime” program is arguably worse than the stuff of dystopian science fiction novels and films as it not only aims to detain Americans who have committed no crime but will expressly target individuals based on their use of electronic consumer products and the contents of their communications with their friends, family, co-workers, and others.

[granulesofsand]

Complexity Scale

Examples are a good way to clarify meaning. I haven’t had to pull this out in a while, but it’s still good to have down.

Expectations

🗝️🏷️ this section contains details of possible scenarios

Complexity of trauma is a simplified explanation for how we think people would generally react to an event. Growing up with neglectful parents has different effects than getting into a car crash, but neither of them are less valid forms of hurt.

Long term maltreatment tends to have more impact on the worldview of a victim and the kinds of flashbacks they have. In the ICD, these differences are categorized into PTSD and C-PTSD.

We expect details to change based on the experience of a victim. A child whose parents are emotionally abusive will likely not present like a child whose parents were sexually abusive.

These children may have some similar issues with shame and reluctance to disclose, but the stigma around sexuality in current culture is more pervasive. That doesn’t mean that the emotionally abused child can’t have stronger avoidance tendencies, it just isn’t the expectation.

Similarly, people who were trafficked and have more frequent and intricate incidents of abuse are expected to have more or worse symptoms than those who survived a single attack.

Even within trafficked populations, those noting use of coercion and manipulation are expected to be markedly less functional than their counterparts who did not have these.

When It Helps

It’s okay for a baseline, something to prevent carers from starting from scratch every time someone new shows up, but your care team should not be using a generalized scale over your own experience.

As long as you’re receiving adequate care, the scale can be helpful to see which aspects were present in your trauma and find a walked trail towards recovery. Not everyone needs the same things, and you should be able to get care no matter where your trauma falls in complexity.

Again, it is possible for any of these expectations to have exceptions, and even very similar events can cause wildly different results. You don’t have to use the scale at all if it isn’t helping you, and that’s just as well.

When It Doesn’t

Not every tool fits the job, but that doesn’t mean the tool has no use ever. It’s a fine line determining if something we can’t use is useful at all, and noticing when a tool is harmful is also important. While trauma sometimes muddies the current, you are never required to tolerate abuse.

If you still find that the complexity scale is a detriment to healing, you deserve a voice in calling for its downfall. I hope this makes clearer how the scale is used and makes the decision easier for whether it benefits you.

[darkspellmaster]

Could you explain what's happening? All I know is that Tumblr is getting rid of any explicit content, but shouldn't that be a good thing? Especially with all the annoying bots and such.

Okay so I needed to do some research about this before I wrote this as there’s a lot going on that’s being filtered around and it seems like people are freaking out and that’s not helping. 

1. What’s happening?

So, basically here’s what’s been going down. A few years ago -two or three I think -Yahoo Inc. bought Tumblr from the original creator of it as he couldn’t keep up with the demand. Server space cost had shot through the roof. 

Just to clue everyone up here who are bemoaning about the sale in the first place, just to buy Amazon Web servers (which I think Tumblr ran on and now runs on a different company Srimax or something like that) or AWS, cloud space, it cost (USD) $2010 monthly, that compared to Googles which is roughly $2200 per month. 

So total yearly is roughly $24,000 for AWS, and $26,000 for Google (and that’s on the low end). 

So Yahoo is then bought out by Verizon Telecommunication services, who owns a number of sites right now and is trying to compete with AT&T and it’s services and Comcast, and Google. A

Tumblr, when it was built, was designed as an art place, mostly for artist who were leaving Deviant art at the time due to an influx of (let’s just say) undesirable artists and art work, and for other reasons. Over time Tumblr has become very popular and mixes of people have come here because it’s become mainstream in the media. It’s used in TV shows and the demographics here have become between the ages of 12 to in their 30s. And because it’s become more mainstream this has put a spotlight on it. 

So what the heck happened? Well several things. 

1. There was a case here were a person, or persons, were putting up explicit child porn, and this was rightly reported. However, because of this and the infestation of porn bots and other illicit content, Apple felt that Tumblr was not a good app to have on their store front, so they removed it. 

Apple is determined to “Save the internet”. 

“Steve Jobs famously suggested that “folks who want porn can buy an Android phone,” and Apple has repeatedly leveraged its unprecedented power over millions of smartphones to sanitize the apps that are available on iPhones. Apple does not allow apps “that contain user generated content that is frequently pornographic.” In 2016, Apple famously deleted all third-party Reddit apps that allowed users to toggle NSFW posts on and off; even now, it is impossible to access porn on an iOS Reddit app unless you jump through various hoops.”  - Vice.com

This should come as no surprise to anyone that is over the age of 30 at this point as Apple has been notorious about this for years, even during the early time of the Mac computers. 

I should note that Android did not, nor has Google Play as Tumblr has followed all of it’s guidelines.  But, internationally, Apple is still a big name and is a highly sought after device, especially in China, and most Telecommunication companies want to invest in there because the economy is good and they can make money in sales to people in China. But because of an extremely strict policy about anything related to porn and the like, Verizon couldn’t sell Apple phones with Tumblr linked into it due to the nature of the space, along with Apple’s very strict policies. 

(There is in fact a lawsuit going on right now in regard to Apple’s bans on apps.)

As seen here. https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/zmd38y/supreme-court-weighs-whether-apples-app-store-is-a-monopoly ) 

So because of this Tumblr felt it needed to do something and that something was to unleash an algorithm that, unfortunately, seems to have taken on a life of it’s own. My guess, and I can only hazard a guess here is that the algorithms are taking meta key words that could be associated with sex or porn or child porn and searching these things out to flag. So like animals that are connected with the fur community will be hit, people with Chronic pain may become hit because the CP in the tag could be related to Child Porn and thus the algorithm is hitting that. Color words, association with women and men, kinks and other things that these bots tend to use are probably also in there, which means that things as simple as chicken thighs, or chicken breasts, are being hit and flagged. That’s not to say that some of this may not be connected to the issue of trolls coming in and reporting things making the Algorithm even more buggy. 

See an algorithm works like this: 

So what is going on here. A question is asked, in this case let’s say it’s a key word, “Does this site have the tag Bookworm in it’s tags or in it’s content?” So the program then goes and analyzes a blog, and looks for that word in the tags. If the answer is yes, then that blog is then “flagged” for having that term and can be reviewed, and the algorithm can go to the next blog to look. 

If the answer is no, then the program goes to the next word in it’s list and looks again, and if the answer is yes, it can then flag and move on, etc. This is how this is working. On top of that, you again may have people flat out using this to attack others and flagging and reporting, adding to the confusion of the program. 

2. Second aspect is a bit more complicated, as it’s not just affecting Tumblr but a number of sites as well. Two bills that were signed into law here in the US and other similar bills are going around the globe.  These two bills, while of the right mind to stop sex trafficking and should be lauded for that idea (because it’s something we as a world need to really address as a whole), both cause a huge problem to platforms. 

So you have the “Allow States and Victims to Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act" Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act" (FOSTA)Stop Enabling Online Sex Trafficking Act, or SEOSTA, or Stop Enabling Sex Trafficking Act, or SESTA.  This act is both good and bad. The good part is that it “clarify the country’s sex trafficking law to make it illegal to knowingly assist, facilitate, or support sex trafficking,”  which means it makes it clear why sex trafficking is illegal and will allow more laws to be created to stop it from happening and helping out victims to go after those that harmed them. 

The bad though is the follow up, “and amend the Section 230 safe harbors of the Communications Decency Act (which make online services immune from civil liability for the actions of their users) to exclude enforcement of federal or state sex trafficking laws from its immunity.” 

So the Section 230 safe harbors allowed for platforms, like Reddit, Tumblr, AOL messenger, etc, to not be liable for these situations. However this act changes that and makes it where the owners of the platform are going to have to be the ones that are liable. Meaning that site’s like tumblr can be taken to court over what their users put up, even if they don’t know what’s going on. 

3. And this is on the smaller end of things. There apparently is a lot of piracy going on in the porn industry right now. As with the cases of theft here on Tumblr in regard to Pivix and other sites, people are not happy. While the industry is smaller than mass media studios like Sony, Disney, WB, NBC, etc. they are not happy with the grand theft of their copyrighted material, and yes it is copyrighted even if it is nude video and the like. These companies are considering possibly getting into legal matters with Social media sites (like Tumblr and Twitter) over the thefts and reblogging issue of copyrighted material. Unlike Youtube, where you can just take it down, Tumblr is build on the idea of sharing so there’s that to contend with. 

Because of these things Tumblr has decided to create a very strong and yet vague policy that seems to be hurting people that are original content creators rather then the perpetrators that are causing the harm on this site. The thing is that in order for Verizon to push this as a mainstream social media site, they have to create a cleaner image. 

The reason for that is the same reason why you had the advertising issues on Youtube. Straight up, when things become popular and more mainstream (and Tumblr has become main stream my friends make no mistake of that, as it’s shown up in a lot of different media including ones for teens and tweens) then sites tend to have to spend more money on server space and that means ads and more people coming in to see said ads. And the more popular and mainstream a site get’s the more the site tends to want to become more all ages over a limited age group, as that means you can have more users on the platform and thus generate more advertisements. 

See Facebook, instagram, snap chat, etc. All platforms that have some age restrictions, but also are designed so Little Billy and June can be on there along with Grandma and their teen brother Tommy, and mom and dad, etc. 

All I know is that Tumblr is getting rid of any explicit content, but shouldn’t that be a good thing?

Okay to explain this. On the one hand certain explicit content needs to go, including things like cannibalism, extreme gore, etc. Because a lot of that shit is disturbing as hell. But on the other hand you have consenting adults that do have a right to look at art and pictures that are not safe for work. 

The problem really comes down to a few things. First are the people in the video doing this of their own volition, and if not, then we’re looking at something that needs to be taken down as it would be seen as possibly blackmail porn and gather illegally. Secondly Users need to learn to actually check what they reblog and look into where the material is coming from. Just because a gif looks cool doesn’t mean that the people involved in that act are okay with it being put on the net. 

It’s a good thing in a way because this means that people that have been stealing art and video from others that make money off this sort of art work and photograph, can at least now known that it’s gone off of one site, though many more still will put it up. 

The problem is that people that do their own work and sell it on here are being kicked off and that means that they may have to go to more shady sites where people who are not as nice tend to hang out, which could mean some serious risks for them. 

While I’m not for this whole thing. I do see both sides of the issue. Personally I don’t want to have to see video of someone jerking off if I’m not searching for it, and it suddenly showing up in the notes section. On the other hand if this is a way for someone who needs the money to create content that allows them to live and afford to have food, housing and other things that keep them healthy and safe, then that should be their right to do. 

My feeling is that all artwork and the like should be behind a pay wall. And I know I’m gong to be yelled at for that, but hear me out. Artist need money to live, Sites need money to keep servers up and running. In order to keep kids and those that don’t want to see this sort of content from seeing it, honestly one of the most effective ways I can think of, is to create a pay system and create Sub area where you can have groups, and then include some sort of state or country id so that only adults can go into the adult oriented area. 

It’s a good thing to be getting rid of the bots, and possibly cleaning up the issue of illegal porn and other things that could hurt not only the companies image, but also could lead to the victimization of those that are not doing this willingly. But it’s a bad thing for people who tend to make their living with art that isn’t safe to view in public. 

As I said the best thing to do would be to create a pay system for those that want to view it, and have it free to everyone else. If you really want to see stuff, and help support the site and creators, then maybe it’s time to start paying and be willing to show you’re an adult. 

Especially with all the annoying bots and such.

This is the sad thing. The bots will follow wherever people go. Pillowfort will get hit at some point too by these things because they will come and bother people. The reality is that there really is no way to escape them until there are regulations set in place that can be put out all over the world that stop sites like the bots and protect people that are trying to make money via their skills as an artist. 

Thing is that in this day and age because people have grown up with the idea that “Everything on the net must be Free!” there’s this desire to fight against actually paying for services and we’re already seeing the down fall of that. I’m pointing to the recent outrage of people bemoaning that Ao3 asked for money to keep their servers up and running. 

Personally I have mixed feelings about all of this. While I’m against censorship, I also feel that there needs to be a way for people who don’t want to see certain forms of art or the like to have that option as well. You have to strike a balance so that you can have a good community of people, and if it means either paying money or creating a second site for those that want to view this art, well then that’s what it should be. 

Thing is, as Matpat said in his article 13 video, when things like this start up companies tend to pick to go after the smaller user base and use them as the main cause for change, because then it covers everything even the larger base. And I think a part of this may have to do with that upcoming issue. 

We live in a global world now, and we can’t just think about one culture or the other anymore as separate things. Companies are seeing things as whole rather than singling things out, and thus the net users need to start thinking the same way. 

Hope this all makes sense. there’s a lot more going on, but I’m trying to keep it easy to read. 

[hotilhotil]

Escort girls in Israel

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