#and to be sure

[sebaschian]

How Sebastian feeds baby O!Ciel.

Sebastian making a tedious work of putting the correct amount of formula in the bottle and heating it up to the proper temperature, finally he pours a bit of the formula on his wrist and tastes and cradles the infant in arms, feeding him with ease.

Seb: Perfect. No spitting or gagging, he liked it. *proud demon dad* (or mom whichever the audience prefers looking at it)

Meanwhile Claude...

Claude: This is a situation. I ran out of baby formula and clean bottles... *having a wailing hungry baby Alois tied around in a sling in his front*

Claude: This will be the perfect substitute. *grabs a bottle of whiskey and is about to feed it to the baby* Open wide and a big, Little Highness.

Triplets whispering: Claude is doing a fatal job here. But well, that one is not our baby.

(Claudad is a newly a dad to a human infant, he of course doesn't know what he's doing, so please be kind to him.)

[forter-from-meteos]

*gently places this in your hand*

[morganbritton132]

Me: You know how when you were a kid and you’d wish that you’d get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didn’t live up to your potential?

Everybody, apparently: No?

[andhumanslovedstories]

look I'm not gonna pretend I know anything about electronics, but sometimes a plug is so big it blocks another socket, and I'm always like "who the fuck do you think you are"

[telebeast]

unoriginal joke

[swedenis-h]

Wife lovers till they die

[sanguinifex]

You gotta read and watch some old books and films that aren’t 100% modern politically correct. I’m not saying you should agree with everything in them but you need to learn where genres came from to understand what those genres are doing today and where media deconstructing old tropes is coming from.

Also, more often than you might think, they’re not actually promoting bigotry so much as “didn’t consider all the implications of something” or just used words that were polite then but considered offensive now.

Kill the censor in your head.

[pookapufferfish]

[shithowdy]

i thought my laptop was on its last leg because it was running at six billion degrees and using 100% disk space* at all times and then i turned off shadows and some other windows effects and it was immediately cured. i just did the same to my roommate's computer and its performance issues were also immediately cured. okay. i guess.

so i guess if you have creaky freezy windows 10/11 try searching "advanced system settings", go to performance settings, and uncheck "show shadows under windows" and anything else you don't want. hope that helps someone else.

*yes sorry i mean usage i posted this before bed :( i do not mean the hard drive is full aaaaghhhh

[pirateprincessjess]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

[hellsitegenetics]

WHY ARE YOU MARKED RED ON SHINIGAMI, WTF DID U DO

i cant even post moths anymore. because of woke

[enemywasp]

I'm sorry I keep posting my tiktok comments but please. What does this mean. What do people THINK shipping is for anymore???

[phosphorus-noodles]

Reblog to let your followers know that despite your current obsession your previous obsessions still exist and are simply lying dormant until they awaken and strike again

[clonerightsagenda]

Arcane is an advanced form of doomed by the narrative/doomed from the beginning because the show is trying so hard to create this serious, intricate story but the endgame of this story is everyone ending up in League of Legends

[wcdonaldo]

your daily reminder that this is a microblogging website and not every post you see is a sweeping well thought-out hot take for you to consider and many posts are in fact vent posts that blew up on accident