#and to add onto the house stuff bc i can LOL

[universalsatan]

me, insane: omg my project is so hilson coded

[wundrousarts]

Hey, Owl House fans that are looking for other media to get into now that the show has ended: check out the Nevermoor series by Jessica Townsend!

The series is about a young girl named Morrigan Crow, who is whisked away to the magical city of Nevermoor the night she is supposed to die. Once there, she has to navigate her new home in the whimsical Hotel Deucalion, her education at the prestigious Wundrous Society, and the truth about the mysterious and powerful legacy she belongs to.

The series is categorized as middle grade/~YA, so it's similar in how it can appeal to an all-ages audience. Like The Owl House, it balances lighter moments with darker, more sinister revelations (and they're just getting started!). The author is queer herself and openly expresses her thoughts against + directly confronts bigotry and hatred while also being just an all-around wonderful person.

It contains some classic tropes such as a magical school, found family, and corrupt authority figures, all in unique and fresh ways. There is a diverse cast of characters, including a sapphic couple where one of them works at a magical library (sound familar...? ���). There are several multi-dimensional antagonists, and they all work to challenge Morrigan and the story in their own unique ways. Also: there's a giant talking cat! Love that.

The series has an interesting magic system + worldbuilding, with tons of lore and history to dig your hands into and theorize if that's what you like. The character development is so fun and interesting as Morrigan and her friends grow up and find their place in the world. The world is so fleshed out that you can easily pick a minor side character or a location that's briefly mentioned, and extrapolate on how and where they fit into the story and themes as a whole.

There are three books out already, out of nine planned books. The fourth book Silverborn comes out in October, so there's plenty of time to get caught up until then! I highly recommend giving it a try.

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

A witchcraft basics doc; update, resource call, interest check, and a possible second doc

Bet most of you didn't even know I was working on this >:D

Yes this is a huge post. It's a lot of things.

So, one of my first posts ever on this blog was me mentioning that a friend of mine had NO clue what they were signing up for when asking for the basics of witchcraft. The google doc I wrote took on a life of its own, and the post did as well when people started asking for it. I still plan to tag said people when I post it, assuming they haven't deactivated. The thing is, this doc had become a proper project, and it took a long time for me to have the motivation to work on it again. Now, though, it seems to me like a damn good way to reconnect to my craft after a rut! (which, by the way, is why I've been offline.)

So, my first post back is for a couple of reasons. For one, if you have any resources you'd think would be useful for beginner witches, feel free to shoot me an ask, DM, or comment/reblog on this post! I'll have a list of things I'm putting in the doc (taking recommendations there as well) at the bottom of this post.

The other thing is that I might end up making a second doc, one that's a little less "101" in vibe. It would have a MAJOR MAJOR UPG warning on it, first off, and I'm not sure whether or not I would be marking any UPG either since this would essentially be a second Grimoire/Book of Shadows for me that would be public to others for the sake of sharing information! I can't say I'd call it "advanced witchcraft" by any means, I'm not very fancy lol, but I don't want the basics doc to get too overwhelming. I do, however, want to scream about random witchcraft topics that interest me. So this is also a bit of an interest check for that, as well as the basics doc.

FINAL NOTE: I fully plan on posting this basics doc before it's done. Some sections will be unwritten or unfinished, because if I wait until I find it "finished" I'll never post it. It's going to be added onto whenever I can, but I feel as though getting it out is the best course of action.

A list of stuff in the doc that I'd take resources on (AKA everything planned in it) with * by anything that will be left unwritten/unfinished on purpose until I know more. I will take resources and recommendations on EVERYTHING though. This is in no particular order:

grounding and centering

VOCAB (intention, intuition, UPG/SPG/VPG, appropriation. probably others I'm forgetting.

candle, plant, crystals and safety* (as well as any other tools one might need safety tips for. This is left completely unwritten as I use very few tools of this type.)

deity work* (the whole debate surrounding when to start, as well as information about it. Will include smth about house rules/boundaries. My work is very casual, I'd love to see different POV's of this! This is by nature left unfinished because deity work is so unique to the witch.)

grimoire/book of shadows

tools of the craft* (common tools and how to use them consumerism in witchcraft, etc.)

cleansing

appropriation* (I don't know near enough about this, I just check what's in my own practice. I would like this to include a list of commonly appropriated closed practices, a definition of appropriation and why it shouldn't be done, open pantheons, and common open practices.)

spellwork*

meditation

where someone could go from here* (including sigils, tarot, crystals bc my friend likes rocks lol, maybe astrology but oh god I have nothing about that it makes my brain hurt just looking at an astrology chart /pos. I will probably make a list of stuff that I could add in this section.)

casual/daily/quick/low energy practices and witchcraft

paganism and witchcraft; overlap, what they are individually, why one might be for you rather than the other, etc.*

there'd be a credit section for anyone who wants to be credited for links/resources at the end! If you send me resources plz specify if you want to be included in that or not.

Things I might include in the second doc if I make it:

the craft and mental health and my experiences with it

things commonly touched on in the community (your deities don't hate you, cycles of inactivity and burnout, other things I'm forgetting rn)

deity-specific things, more specific topics of the craft, etc. yet another reminder that this would all include UPG, possibly unmarked, because it would basically be primarily used to give me motivation to research more.

[thatdeadaquarius]

-vine boom

I probably sent a lot of these now im so sorry lmfao 😅

You mentioned in one of the asks that some countries are like a prototype/based of our existing countries, like Germany=Mondstadt, Liyue=China, Inzauma=Japan....

So even though the language is more or less identical for you to make heads and tails in a conversation or writing in a book, the reverse side does not.

Creator!Reader who knows a couple of languages (plus points if they're atleast fluent or have a understanding of it despite not being able to speak said language) and being born from a country that doesnt have the same language as the countries Teyvat based off. Basically Spanish, Italian, Filipino, Scandinavian languages that also have their own way of writing.

Imagine feeling homesick and the only thing that keeps you occupied is the notebook and pen you have while the others converse in a meeting or in a hangout. You started writing in your tongue and re-reading it to relive memories.

Zhongli, AlHaitham, Albedo, Jean, maybe the Berry bros too (Diluc & Kaeya) get curious only to have a double-take and immediately thinks that maybe there is a forgotten land in Teyvat that has this language, I mean Morax stayed faithful to Liyue and Barbatos blessed his country with abundance of supplies and freedom. Teyvat gods and archons played favourites, so why wouldn't you as well? (Bonus: Khaenriah flashbacks) (also I know these arent enough characters but how should I know? I only have a handful of them and I ran out of Primos😭

The people from Akademiya though? I mean they went hard on theorizing and picking apart the language of their creator. Have you seen Matpat's descent to insanity the more FNAF continues to push out LoRe? Thats basically them because Teyvat doesn't have a country based on Creator's birth country. They're grasping nothing but air and dead ends and the only lead they have is you, but couldnt ask because you look so down and they cant bear to see Creator sad....

(NEW BANNER TOMORROW AND I DONT HAVE ENOGH PRIMOGEMS HALP---)

Rip Vine boom no primos 🙏 hope u got some more by this time bc i was so late to reply lol - DUDE IM SO READY FOR THE GORG KAVEH <333

BERRY BROS!! Thats it, thats the only way im gonna refer to them now.

Not super long to add onto ur bc UR SO SMART AND SUCH A GOOD WRITER VINEBOOM U SHOULD ALSO WRITE STUFF SO I CAN GO OBSESS OVER UR WRITING WITH A MILLION FERAL COMMENTS-!!!

(Cute owl house gif is like, metaphorially u and zhongli in this lol)

EDIT 8/23/23: So this may be inaccurate/not that good to my Hispanic Readers out there! Sorry about that, I'l make sure to do better in the future.

EDIT 1/1/24: Unfortunately there are even more issues here, and I'm really sorry about that. I expanded on it more in my Eldritch fanfic post in Part 2, but it was exoticism of me to use the word "Huangdi". I have since replaced it with "Emperor", and don't intend to just erase the mistake like it never happened. But I did change it in the headcanons for better readability. Again, I'm genuninely sorry about this, and will absolutely be watching out/doing better in the future. I hope you understand.

THIS SOUNDS SO SAD, LIKE THIS COULD DEF BE ANGST, ESP SINCE U HAVE NO FAMILIAR-ISH CULTURE TO TURN TO-

tbh im american and i def dont think theres a u.s. country- oh god at least I hope not, damn but im also familiar with mexican culture so i wouldnt miss the united states, but id miss mexican culture…

BUT!!

You have a lot of amazing people who care about you in Teyvat, so they won’t let you stew in ur homesickness for long

like random said, i could see it being small stuff

ok so imma just-

LATINO! READER TIME BABBYYYYY

(i do this bc its just the culture/language im more familiar with, but dont let that discourage anyone from requesting other cultures! I will def do my research, or ur welcome to tell me all about it so i can write it better! <3)

THAT BEING SAID IM MOSTLY WHITE PLS LMK IF SHIT IS WRONG/SPANISH IS WRONG BC IM STILL A BEGINNER MY BELOVED LATINES!

<3 YOU GUYS

♡

you’ve been in the game-turned-life world of Genshin Impact for nearly 6 months now, turns out time isnt wonky as hell like it is if you were playing the game, half bc u bribed Albedo with answers to his many questions about you if he figured out the time difference, and half bc of ur internal clock

people would notice the cuss words first lmao

like Xiao hearing u stubbing ur toe on the million and one steps up to Wangshu Inn, hijueputa!

or Keqing pointing out the words you coo at the dogs hanging out by the bridge outside the harbor,

un perrito tan buenoooo!! :’)

while most would just, " hmm, maybe a dialect of one of the other countries we havent heard…"

but Zhongli? he’s been ready for centuries in case the prophecy came true within his lifetime, afterall, many things changed while he’s been alive, not crazy to him that you might descend randomly

While everyone else was unprepared, bc u were like… the oldest deity, more legend than history, so ppl just thought Morax was a little overly faithful …so when it actually happened,, Morax was just smirking as he watched ur golden shooting star streak the night sky… while absolute pandemonium consumed the mortals and adepti in liyue lmao

(like that scene of Regina George in Mean Girls watching the student body break out into an all out brawl just smirking 😭 pls god look it up if u dont know what i mean- )

So Morax- Zhongli, has been ready for you, just in case, to pay attention to what kind of person you’d be, learn your favorite clothes/colors/offerings, see what things you’d like to talk about with him (hopefully for hours) etc.

He was observant, and with his memory, he practically gave himself headaches sometimes with how aware he was,

on one of those days he was overwhelmed by the mortal crowds, the smells, the market yelling, and all the change from what he thought he knew-

Zhongli noticed you in your own melancholy, and curious, he began to stroll just behind

You sit at Wanmin restaurant, still somber, and ask Xiangling to

“please try out these recipes? they’re from my world, and id really love to have something like them again..”

a true experimental chef as always, Xiangling quickly takes up your offer, and u follow her into the kitchens in the back (the restaurant is much more real than in game, they have gorgeous inside seating, all shades of red coloring the walls and lots of pretty latticework-)

Zhongli takes a seat finally, he has a usual table at this point he comes in so much coughtorunintoyoucough the staff know it's his and give him tea pretty quickly

the food, and the looks, makes it your favorite restaurant in Liyue, the Liuli Pavilion a little too fancy for casual dining, afterall, Zhongli would know

He’s tried to keep track of your favorite places to be in Liyue too, and kept his near full attention on what you say when he asks after your stays in Liyue (he hasn’t felt the need to pay that much attention or felt that much interest in conversation partners in… decades?)

So when you come out of the kitchen, throwing your head back and laughing, "Sí, sí! It all tastes so close Xiangling! Gracias, thank you!"

He wants… to know.

to know what those strange, but delicious looking, foods are all balanced on two big dinner plates

Xiangling carrying whatever you couldn’t just behind, a pitcher of white liquid, it smells, like cinnamon?

He raises a hand, and offers the extra seats at his table, (when did his tea go cold? he only just sat down, he couldn’t have spent that long thinking about you…)

You notice and look over, a giddy grin lighting up your face (…hmm, perhaps he needs to transform into his Exuvia form and let off some steam, his chest has warmed too much right now for him to just be sitting here…)

You plop into the seat beside him, but not before carefully placing the plates in front of both you and Zhongli

You scootch around until you’re turned towards him, as always, Zhongli looks… actually kind of, happy?

a small soft smile pulls at his lips, his eyes half-lidded as they meet yours, his usual red eyeliner framing his monolids perfectly, he looks like he’s been,, well, sculpted from stone, an artwork come to life

“…My Emperor? Could I trouble you to tell me about the dishes before us?”

the geo god’s pleasantly smooth and deep voice felt so soft asking you that, like he didn’t want to push you one direction or the other

“Oh! Right! Sorry, these are from my home country, back in my world, or at least, as close as Xiangling and I can get to them!”

Your smile brightens your face once more, clearing away any leftover stormclouds from your mood earlier, and as you launch into explaining (Xiangling had to get back to orders, so it’s just you two now)

You list it all, the quintessential: quesadillas, empanadas, tamales, chorizo (you had to combine at least 5 different spices to Mondstadt sausages to get anywhere close to the real thing) the dips obviously, salsa, queso, guacamole, and the easy street tacos, and finally the horchata, but also all the weird fruits Teyvat has with chile, like Sunsettias mixed with Harra from Sumeru or Lavender melons with Wolfhook berries… all surpringly pretty good

(the Sun-Harra combo tastes like mango, a sort of deeper taste of pineapple/kiwi and a sort of light orange taste? all with the nice addition of chile flavors, the Lavender melons and Wolfhooks helped imitate chamoy enough that your heart was satisfied)

…you realize you’ve just been talking about the last meal you had with your family/friends instead of the food after a bit, and Zhongli hasn’t said anything…

you trail off and look back over your shoulder (u were practically about to get your shirt in the imitation guac u were leaning so far over the table to point and talk)

you’re about to sheepishly apologize for taking over the conversation, and ask if he wants to try anything (Zhongli can handle spice so u dont have to worry abt that at least)

but as u finally see his face, u just stop, and dont end up saying anything

He’s just, looking at you.

his smile's not huge, but big enough to make his eyes look happy, and Zhongli’s just… looking at you.

You can’t describe the look he’s giving you, but you suddenly feel… a wave of shyness wash over your heart in your chest, because he’s looking almost like, maybe like, he’s sort of, waiting for you to keep talking, his tan skin warm in the golden rays of the sun beginning to set, you don’t know why you’re noticing any of these things, and he gently, slowly, makes a move to lean into your space a little

almost above your armrest, head inches from your shoulder, he finally moves to stop looking at you-

He looks like a painting as he looks down, his eyelashes almost sitting on his high cheekbones,

you have to move your head to looking at the table too as he moved so close,

you feel your shoulders reflexitively hitch upwards as you brushed the hair on the side of his head as you turned away

He looks around, and then moves his head, not his body, he’s still leaning toward you, to look you right in the eyes again

“Why did you stop? I haven’t said much, I apologize, but it’s only because I wanted to hear you without anything interrupting you.”

You cough a little strained, “Oh! Oh I get it now yeah, thanks-”

“I want to hear you more,” his black eyes begin to warm with gold, you can vaguely see the shape of his diamond pupil revealing itself, “I want to hear about… everything, if you’ll tell me? The language, the food, the drinks, your family, your dances, your country, I want to hear it all. Won’t you please let me hear your voice some more?”

♡

GOOOD LOOORDDDD, ITS SO LONGGGGG IM SO SORRRYYY 😭😭

OKAY IM MOSTLY SORRY THAT THIS SCENARIO HAPPENED??? IDK WHERE ZHONGLI CAME FROM- GOD IM SUBCONCIOUSLY IN LOVE WITH THAT MAN I GUESS, SORRY RANDOMANTICS-

uh, hope somebody got anything out of this, sorry abt the length, again,

also pls somebody tell me if what i said about culture/food was alright! If not I’ll def change it, pls dont let me keep it up if its inaccurate/wrong!!

Safe Travels you guys,

💀♒️

.°•.☆.•°.

♡ the beloveds ♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk

[ganondoodle]

some random ideas for the totk rewritten project

krog (korok) seeds

i think i found a way to include krog seeds even if i reintroduced bags for expanding your inventory- what if the krog seeds are redeemed for the amiibo sets and maybe a few new things? that way you are not forced to engage with krog puzzles if you are tired of them and its not essential either, you can choose what armor set you want instead of being "surpised" by the same link hat three times in a row for fighting your way through the depths (like i was lol)

considering im rewriting the krog forest to be like a minidungeon with a unique miniboss and boss AND you start the quest for restoring the master sword there i think that this is acceptable

what if one of the expensive rewards was a krog armor set that includes the mask from the botw DLC but adds two more pieces, its effect could be to turn invisible as the krogs are to most people; considering how they are not invisible to everyone it could still work with important NPCs still seeing you AND you could run through monster camps without them chasing you if you just want to get through without you attacking them- since its expensive you gotta gather alot of krog seeds to buy it meaning it wouldnt make encounters much easier bc you have to fight alot of monsters before being able to afford it anyway and the effect is removed once you attack an enemy .... or maybe once you are spotted you can stand still and the effect restores itself nhfkjdnkjfdk

food + storage

to raise the difficulty a little i thought about bringing bottles back, they are physical items this time with a limited number and are able to store medicine and soup that has no expiration date; personally i like cooking tho so i want to keep it, maybe with the effect of being a bit more limited in number and, while not spoiling completely, it loses some of its effectiveness over time

how you use them im not yet sure, either the same way in inventory (which i think i will go for since i dont want to change it that drastically and with the added balance of limitation i think that is still fine) or on some kind of item wheel you can set yourself like in skyward sword

there are bags you can find as bigger items that will expand your weapon, shield or bow inventory slots, perhaps a small bag gives you one and a big one two slots- it would be a bigger and different reward for exploring or quests and fills the spot for inventory expansion

theres a chest in links house (i thought maybe links house is still links but they built onto it so zelda has a place to stay as well, like a bigger/double house) that can hold armor sets if you dont want to keep carrying all of them around but dont want to sell them either

repairable weapons through zelda

weapons still break but are full weapons again, i found the excuse of them all being useless now through the cataclysm ... somehow for some reason a pretty blatant way for forcing you to fuse stuff bc its literally the only viable thing to do, but i like the idea of inventing new weapons with materials; to balance it out and give you an incentive to help out your friends i figured that at first weapons still break, but in each region is a smith that can teach zelda (who is your companion in this rewrite) how to repair weapons of a certain type (zora, spear, goron, two handed, rito, bows, gerudo, one handed-- perhaps it is a longer quest of idk .. bringing certain weapons to those smith or similar) which she can do anywhere outside combat;

how broken the weapon is determines how much extra material she may need to do it- im still working on it but i got the idea of the status of the weapon being symbolized in three stages, fine, damaged and broken; damaged is the one that needs less material to fix up, broken costs more- a broken one might still occupy an inventory slot but is unusable or very very bad damage wise, you can throw it away either manually or when you try to pick up a new one you can choose if you want to swap it out (just like they did with stuff from chests in totk .. idk why they didnt add that to in game weapons lying on the ground too) or choose to keep it and repair it once you are out of combat

arrow types

i dont like the menuing in totk for the arrows ... it was one of the most frustrating things to deal with (especialyl bc it sorted your inventory too??? when you used the sorting in the quick menu???) so i wanted to change that a little, havign to go into the quick menu everytime for each arrow i find tedious too, so;

there are more arrow types but they are craftable with arrows and materials, you can craft them in bulk out of combat (the typical types from botw -fire,eletric,ice,bombs- but then add those confusion ones, wind, the cloudy shroom thingy, poison .. perhaps a few more if i can think of more but not too mayn to not clutter it again)

enigma stones function

i wanted to change how enigma stones function somewhat, they dont "enhance" the ability of the champion/sage (i still wanna call them chmapions bc thats what they areeeee) it allows them to link an ability of theirs to link without the orginal champion having to be present or dead, the stones come in set of two each and function somewhat like a magic communication between the player and the champion, once you obtain the second piece its embedded into links shiekah arm prosthetic (also something of my rewrite) and allow him to call upon their ability at will through a second selection wheel

ranch ruins

the ranch ruins i wanted to be rebuild (bc thats cool and i thought restoration was a theme? lol) and maybe you help rebuild it proper and as thanks you can put your horses there to roam around all at once when not taken out to ride, not a big gameplay thing but a neat quest with a rebuilding thing of a building we havent seen in its prime and a neat addition of letting you see all your horsies at once :)

(totk rewritten project)

[padfootastic]

OKAY SO THIS IS SOMETHING ME AND MY FRIEND DO THAT I SORTA NOW HC J & S TO DO IT AS WELL and i need you- queen of prongsfoot to tell me weather if they also would do this or this sleep-deprived me talking

so every year basically on our birthdays we send each other letters. and by sending I mean hand delivering it to them cause we live two mins away

but it just always has this format right? the address while following the normal format didn't contain the actual working address ala harry potter style kinda like for ex

ash/resident of everlasting patience and stupidity/ mountain of discarded coffee cups/ 16000 pictures in phone gallery street

but then the letter would be the most beautiful piece of ode to friendship to each other and just her and she shines my world and just e v e r y t h i n g.

like my description of notes is this should be so emotive that the reader is reduced to tears laughs and everything in between and those letters (more like a 5 page essay) is something that is one of my most cherished thing to get yearly.

and if you want to add angst to it, imagine sirius finding all those old james letters for each one of his birthday and one maybe for his 22nd one that he didnt get to read for lets just sya reasons

the way i saw u write this in real time and still took so long to get to it 😭😭 i should be locked up i s2g.

no okay but listen!!!! ur onto something here!!!

so. because i’m me, i’m gonna add an aspect of generational/familial history to it. so, imagine like fleamont and/or euphemia writing letters for james on his birthdays, right? and it’s filled with these heartfelt, funny messages and he cherishes them a lot. brings them to hogwarts and reads them when he’s feeling upset (only making himself more homesick in the process lol)

and then on sirius’ first bday in hogwarts (which is only a couple months in, yeah?) he sees that he gets a terrible, horrible letter from his family that doesn’t nothing except scold him/humiliate him and how it hurts sirius. SO. in a bid to restructure his perception of bday letters, james borrows from his own tradition & starts writing letters for sirius. he’s so filled w affection always that it’s absolutely not a problem for him to fill pages upon pages. (and u can even add the address thing as way for j to make it funny so sirius laughs!!)

so yeah, james starts it and slowly, hesitantly, sirius does the same. he’s never as proficient at it as james is, because he’s not as emotional in the first place, but whatever he writes is always heartfelt. (also, in a creative sirius scenario, u could hc that he draws something or composes music just for james and that’s equally sentimental but w/o being so horribly revealing?)

and like yeah, imagine then that james has got his 22nd bday letter all written and stuff bc he’s a little dork who never leaves stuff until the last minute unless he can help it, right? and despite doing this for a decade (a decade!!! they only had a decade together!!!) he’s still so fucking excited to write a fresh one bc he loves gifting and making people happy etc etc, and so he writes it, and keeps it in a nice little envelope w the potter seal embossed on it, just waiting to give it to sirius & see his expression (fav part) except.

except he can’t.

and when sirius enters the house, he sees james’ cold, dead body lying on the floor first, but once he gets up from the ground, he spots the envelope a few feet away and lets out a howl like never before. reads it so obsessively he can recite it, each word hitting like a stab in the heart.

(or, alternatively, u can imagine him somehow discovering the letter post-azkaban after he’s spends dozen years being psychologically tortured, reliving the potters’ deaths, and believing himself to be the cause of it. u pick)

(and of course, once sirius escapes, he does the same for harry. and to parallel james & sirius, the letter he writes for harry’s 16th is left in GP and harry only finds it after the war—or even during when they halt there—when he’s cleaning it up or wtv and basically breaks down all over again)

[ravenlking]

Could i make a request? If you don't wanna do it feel free to ignore it but.... Dom reader, lol yes yes I do love Dom reader, could i please have sweet fluff just like the first part of the series with Cater, Ruggie, Jamil and Silver? (idk if there's a character limit, i didn't find any but feel free to add or scratch out any you want) Just a reader who lovingly doms them and dotes and spoils them rotten as they take care of them

𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐌𝐄, 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒

𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃, 𝐑𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐂𝐇𝐈, 𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋 𝐕𝐈𝐏𝐄𝐑, 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐑 as long as you stay with me, i think i'll be okay

part one (trey, rook, lilia) // part two (leona, floyd) // part three (cater, ruggie, jamil, silver)

gender-neutral warnings: - implied relationships :D genre: fluff a/n: - is this how authors feel when they get their first request? squeeee i love you mwah mwah! (thx for reminding me i forgot to make my own rules and stuff lmao) - the amount of stuff i have for cater- the pure bias i show for him *star eyes* - you know how part 2 was dom dominate reader? part 3 is soft dom reader guys :) - these banners belong to me bc I made them, but the pictures are from the official game. please do not steal! - please give me feedback :)

Let me know if you'd like more!

𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃

Having a smile on your face hurts all the time. Physically and emotionally; it's draining Cater's happiness as we speak. Desperately trying to keep up that appearance of "everything is okay if we smile!" is exhausting, especially in moments like these. Riddle, screaming his head off at an impassively looking Ace. Riddle, whose voice rings all over Heartlsbayul's grand castle, desperately tries not to go back to his old ways and immediately beheads the foolish Ace of Cards.

It was literally the tenth rule of the Queen of Hearts 'Do not go on beyond the late night hours of 10:00 on a weekday., and Ace decides to not only rope himself but poor Deuce and his other two classmates. They have long been dismissed with a punishment of writing a 200-word apology essay, but Ace refuses to accept the rules.

"What's the point of doing it?" Ace yawns dismissively. "It's just gaming, it ain't gonna do anything harmful to me."

From the look on Riddle's face, it looks like he just wants to execute Ace. Cater and Trey exchange a tired glance and Riddle caught it. He sighs, pinching his nose, before dismissing the two. Cater dashes out of there; his smile slips from his face the moment he is out of sight. He feels so tired. He bangs his room door open, igniting you to wake from your slumber.

He mutters an apology before diving into your hands, clenching onto you and tangling his legs with yours, and burying his head in the crook of your collarbone. Tonight, he just wants you to hold him until he can recharge for yet another day.

A tiny smile climbs onto his lips when he feels you singing under your breath and the repetitive stroking of his hair immediately lures him into slumber. The last thing he feels is your gentle kiss on his forehead and a soft mutter of "Don't worry, I got you."

𝐑𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐂𝐇𝐈

Running errands is exhausting. Leona seems to have no idea how much Ruggie is struggling to balance his school work, extra jobs on the side, running after Leona- everything just piles up like a house of cards. And houses of cards are always destined to fall...today seems like that day.

Ruggie pants as he leans against a tree in the Courtyard. His arms are heavy with bags from Sam's Mystery Shop and sweat beads on his forehead. His hair uncomfortably sticks to his forehead; some strands are sticking into his eyes.

He is used to this, of course. The slums offered no mercy to those who didn't work 'til their bones old and frail. He is used to the hot summer day beating down on him until his back is red from the sun's glare, but why does today seem so tiring?

You were just passing by; Grim had already ditched you to go pranking with Ace and Deuce. You wanted no part in that (they were truly the idiot trio) and therefore decided to take a peaceful walk around Night Raven College before finally bumping into Ruggie.

His groceries were scattered all over the place and Ruggie hissed out angrily. For Seven's sake- he spent a whole hour in the Mystery Shop to get those rare groceries; he can't even go back for them because he bought them all. Ruggie snapped his head up, an angry glint in his eyes before it subsided slightly before noticing it was you.

"Oh," Ruggie muttered before picking up whatever salvageable groceries he could see. "Hello."

You frowned at his detached tone. Upon looking closer, Ruggie appeared extremely exhausted. His words seemed to slur together and his eyelids were slowly blinking as if the action was comparable to holding up the world. His hair was strangely more ruffled than usual and eyebags were visible under his ash grey eyes.

"Ruggie, is Leona running you ragged again?"

Ruggie flinched at the suddenness of the question before registering it and shaking his head. You frowned before staring at the groceries. "My love, these are all expensive meat products. Seven knows that you never touch nor eat this."

He was caught red-handed. Ruggie gave a heavy sigh before collapsing onto you. Yelping, you caught him. The beastman snickered slowly before he patted your head.

"If you would, would you mind telling Leona-san to stop? I need....sleep."

With that, Ruggie slept, snoring loudly. You laughed before cradling him bridal-style; he remained peacefully in his wonderful slumber, unknowing the rage that was boiling within you.

"Leona Kingscholar," You muttered as you began your journey back to Ramshackle. "You'll pay for doing this to my beloved."

Somewhere in Savanaclaw, Leona sneezed.

𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋 𝐕𝐈𝐏𝐄𝐑

"Oh Jamil!!"

The moment Jamil heard that accused voice, he fled. He's had enough of disturbances today and judging from Kalim's tone, for the sake of his sanity, he dashed away until he accidentally collided into you.

"Jamil!" You glomped him with a giant grin. Just your scent- it brought warmness into Jamil's rigid body, giving him comfort. The aching pain in his muscles immediately faded away; he practically slumped against you and you chuckled.

"Hard day today?"

Jamil nodded, hands tightened around your hips. You simply pat his head and his hair ornaments jingle delicately.

Kalim came bounding right around the corner, still dressed in his lab coats and was whipping his head around. His ruby eyes searched the corridors until they landed on you and Jamil cuddling together. He immediately dashed towards you, crying out Jamil's name like it was a prayer.

"Please." You heard Jamil half-sob out. "I'm too tired to deal with this!"

Before Kalim could pull your jewel away from you, your hand shot outwards, stopping the excitable white-haired boy in his tracks.

"Kalim," You gave him an easy-going smile. However, your hold on Jamil tightened, as if you were unwilling to give him up. Jamil just buried himself in your scent, giving a silent apology to Kalim in his head. "Unfortunately, Jamil has business with me so we need to leave."

Kalim gasped and looked at Jamil with wide eyes. "Sorry Jamil! I totally didn't know this! Why didn't you tell me? I'll get going then!" And on that note, he ran away, his lab coat fluttering behind him. Jamil heaved out a heavy sigh before giving you a tired grin.

"Business?"

You nodded seriously before steering him away. "Of course! You have been neglecting me for quite some time; it is only natural for you to repay those lost hours!"

Jamil only chuckled before following you.

𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐑

Silver realizes that after a month of you constantly pampering him and caring for him that you're like an older brother, but whenever he thinks that, his mind immediately screams the opposite.

He's confused about how to feel. Butterflies erupt in his stomach whenever he meets your enchanting eyes and sun-blinding grin. But the way your gentle touch soothes him to sleep and pressing soft open-mouthed kisses on his forehead, you care for him so much- Silver's torn.

He comes to you, the question in his head and dragging his feet. He's slightly nervous, I mean, who wouldn't? One wrong thing and he might accidentally ruin his relationship with you. And never in a million years would he willingly do that.

Silver finds you in the library, reading peacefully. Soft taps that grow louder made you look up from your book, a questioning gaze in your eyes until they soften upon seeing your silver-haired beloved. You gently placed the book aside, opening your arms and Silver welcomely dived in. His eyelids fluttered shut and the warmness of your body was lulling him to sleep before his mind thankfully reminded him why he was here in the first place.

You were just about to continue reading when Silver's voice interrupted you.

"Y/N? I'm confused..."

You hummed, your attention on him once more. You combed your fingers through his hair and Silver mustered up the courage to continue.

"You sometimes treat me like a lover...but other times it feels like you're the older brother," Silver rambled. "Sometimes you cook for me, you wake me up for classes, you plan the dates, I-I just don't know anymore."

Silver squeezed his eyes tight for your reaction - but he certainly did not expect a laugh. You turned him around so he was straddling your waist, his hands on your waist and his eyes meeting yours. Yours were full of understanding as you pressed a kiss, punctuating each other.

"My love, what I am doing is called taking the dominate position," a kiss to the cheek. "So sometimes I'll take the lead, I'll be the one caring for you most of the time, you understand?"

Silver nodded. So this is what humans do when they court? His father forgot to mention this. Well, it doesn't matter now. His hearts feel lightened by your answer and his mind can easily rest.

A soft thump! against your chest made you realize that your beloved has fallen asleep once more. You laughed quietly to yourself before picking up your novel and continuing to read where you had left off; your fingers subconsciously played with his hair and a gentle smile could be seen on his lips as Silver slept.

[golbrocklovely]

Hey! Sorry, sam person from last ask lol.

But I am with the age group of 10-13, therapy is not a option and I'm terrified of becoming a teenager. I'm already experiencing body image issues and such, and ALOT of other stuff.

Somthing that my parents do is since everyone in this house has known from a

VERY

Young age, they are very open abt sëx and talk abt it alot, especially abt what they do to each other and it makes me very uncomfortable, I've told them but then they make fun of me for being sensitive, and yeah I am.

I want to have a serious convo with my dad abt putting me in school. But I'm terrified of actually doing it. I feel like I'll be reprimanded and made fun of, cause they've put alot into homeschooled and such. But I feel like it's my best bet. My literal best friend is my sister. Ik your best friend's are family but yk. Its not the same.

omg respectfully you are SO YOUNG. holy crap.

okay, let me give you some big sister advice.

i remember being your age range, and puberty did suck at first and was very jarring to go thru. so i get the whole "being terrified" aspect. also, who wants to grow up? no one.

so the body imagine issues, i 1000% understand and know where you are coming from. i started puberty at 10 and it was a wild ride for me to start almost immediately developing. the good thing to know that while your body is changing, so is your mind. and while you might not like what your body looks like right now, just know that it's gonna keep changing. and that can be a good thing. there might be parts of yourself that you hate rn that you're gonna love when you get older. i think your best bet, and something i wasn't really ever taught, is to be kind to yourself. you are not the first person ever experience what you're going thru. and even tho change can be scary, it's not something to fear itself. change is necessary too. but one day, the change you are experiencing now will feel normal, and you won't even remember what you currently feel like. it might take a while to get to that point, but suddenly you'll feel settled, and you won't even noticed when that shift occurred.

also, as someone who is significantly older than you, i can confidently say that being a teenager was a lot of fun. hindsight is 20/20, so part of that does come into play. but seriously, growing up can be fun, even if it's a bit scary. being a teenager was dramatic and dumb and silly, and honestly there has been no other time in my life like that. i can look back fondly on that time now, and also admit there were moments that sucked. but that is life. don't be afraid of getting older - you can't stop it even if you wanted to. plus, there are so many good things that come with getting older. knowledge being the most important one. hindsight is another.

i would like to also add, just bc you are getting older, doesn't mean you have to let go of "childish" things. at 13 years old, i liked twilight, the jonas brothers, and bratz dolls. and wouldn't you believe it, at 28 years old i also still love all of those things loudly lol you don't have to let go of the things you love just bc you're getting older. things that bring you joy and comfort are few and far between in life, so if you enjoy something now, hold onto it as long as you need to. as long as it's not holding you back from achieving things or living your best life, there's no reason to stop loving what you love.

as for your parents, i do find that quite odd that they would do that in front of you. i'm sorry that that is something that happens. it also seems as if your parents are a bit dismissive about your feelings, and as someone who was also called "sensitive" and "a cry baby" (not directly from my parents… but also directly from my parents)- i get it. i'll tell you, i still deal with stuff like that to this day, so honestly the best thing you can do is try not to let it get under your skin. i know that's such a cliche thing to say, since it's not really an answer, but whatever way you gotta do that - do it. if you can, walk out of the room when they start talking about it. zone out, go to your happy place. find a spot on the wall and stare at it until their voices get drowned out. honestly, when ppl like that exist in your life, aka ppl that find enjoyment out of teasing you bc they know how to piss you off, don't let them enjoy it. don't let them see your reaction. if you stop giving them what they want (most likely a reaction of some type), they'll stop. or eventually, you'll learn not to let it effect you.

as for the conversation to have with your dad, i'm not sure what the best course of action is for you. i definitely think you should have it, especially if that is something you really want. maybe lay out why it would be such a positive for you to go to public school. talk about how socializing is something you need. talk about wanting to make friends that aren't just immediate family. talk about maybe wanting to do extracurriculars which your parents can't really give you at home. obviously, you know your dad better than i do, so work within the confines of what you know is safe and appropriate.

and if he does make fun of you and reprimands you, i'm sorry. but don't get knocked down if he does. there is plenty of time for things to change, so hold onto that.

also, i have to tell you since you are so young, please consider not being online. i know, the world kinda revolves around being online. but genuinely one of the things i regret doing as a young kid was being online bc i saw things i couldn't unsee. i read a lot of inappropriate fan fiction at that age that i shouldn't of bc i thought "oh who cares i'm basically an adult". keep your innocence as long as you can. you will be better for it in the long run.

and also please be careful of who you talk to online! if anyone ever tells you 'you're mature for your age', run for the hills. block, report, delete them. i'm so serious. if an adult WANTS to talk to you and reaches out to you first, they are weird and are most likely not looking to keep the conversations age appropriate. also don't tell ppl too much online. i know rn you're anonymous, but like.... please keep any and all interactions with adults online to a minimum. and don't tell them important things about yourself, like your name or age or where you live.

it's unsafe out there, so stay guarded. and please use that block button generously if you do plan to stay online.

[the-chessboard-is-personal]

Very tiredly made pinned post bc I'm always tired lol

Hi, I'm Knight and this is my personal blog. I go by they/them and he/him. Yes Knight is my irl name.

Cadanain or however you spell it. uh. 🇨🇦 <- from there

ask game

19, aroace, nonbinary(?) and I FUCKING HATE MOST CAR BRANDS. SHUT UP ON EVERY FUCKING SITE EVER AND BECOME THE DIRT I WALK ON!!!!!!!!!!!

DNI: basic dni + zionists, car enthusiasts, NFTbros, people who are violently on either side of the AI art debate*

Not extensive but generally if you're a bigot or support bigots fuck off

*my opinion on AI art is that it seriously, SERIOUSLY needs more regulations, but if I wake up feeling like more shit than I usually feel like I shouldn't be ridiculed and hated by everyone on this damn planet if I occasionally want to pop over to Craiyon and have it generate some art of weird looking dice to cheer myself up. fyi. and stop arguing about whether it's art or not the semantics aren't important!!

And ChatGPT is a wonderful Goomba Name Generator. bite me. /ref

Fandoms I'm in: chess, animation vs., inanimate insanity, bfdi, steven universe, magic the gathering, smg4, baba is you, murder drones, d&d, owl house, tadc, minecraft, hermitcraft, life series, lifesteal smp, mario (mostly smm2), gravity falls, fnaf (kinda), doom (.......kind of. yes it is because of myhouse.wad), dsmp (but I'm kinda drifting away from that one)

ramble about the bold/orange ones to me‼️‼️‼️

Fandoms im Looking at, but unsure of: the magnus archives, the stanley parable, other object shows

Random shit about me and tags i tag under cut (..tags may be changed soon)

Don't spoil House of Leaves for me, I'm gonna read it soon maybe (<- liar)

I watched all of soul eater and then proceeded to forget everything that happened because I'm stupid

I don't fuckign know!!!!!!!!! Redstone!!!!!!!!!! (<- making something Decked Out 2 inspired)

For personal reasons relating to Words (derogatory), do not talk to me about outer space

do not ask me about No Context Nope Not Giving Any.

First ever Chessboard Moment: chess.jpg

tags:

#vent for venting

#grasping at straws for reaching out (e.g "help me with a project please?") Wait when did I make this tag also what does it rnean

#the fuck up won't shut up! for just talking about stuff

#nobody cares huh for stuff I'm actually proud of

#another ruined canvas for art, although most of that will go on @chess-is-art

#look! a blunder! for plugging stuff i have on other sites

#I'm not funny for stuff i add onto when reblogging

#chessboard? sleeping? in this economy? dreams tag

#sticks and stones can break my bones but Words Can Fucking Kill Me for specific vents hold on what the fuck is this tag

#negative iq takes for theories

#cringe comp for videos

#dumb writing for fics

#chessboard saying dumb shit for when I talk to people

#do you want bad or terrible? Polls

#shitty sleep september Have you seen an entire two* month's worth of nightmares in a row? WOULD YOU LIKE TO??

*it happened twice

#knight and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad pun for puns. yes commas can go in tags. no I will not say how

I tag triggers as #tw [thing] (without the brackets when actual thing is involved) current triggers are #tw sui mention but i might forget to use it once in a while so uhh just block #vent sorry

projects will be tagged as #project: [name]. "Project:" will not be part of the name by default

I don't tag mcyt posts as #minecraft and you shouldn't either! It is #mcyt and the mcyt applicable!

Uh I'll think of more if I need to

[taeghi]

volume 3 ☆ jake sim - the first love trope

"oh shit, sorr- wait you like one ok rock? "yeah?" "no way, what's your favourite song?!"

pairing : popular boy!jake x shy!reader

summary : you, a quiet girl who is the introvert of all introverts, never thought you would befriend the most popular boy in school by having the same music taste. what songs are you going to show him next?

word count : 23,900 something lol

includes smut

topics of insomnia, depression, cigarettes, quick mention of death (sorry) (maybe slight trigger warning bc of the death)

MINORS DNI

☆read the other volumes?

taglist : @srirachibi @ryu-naa @blank-velvet @hoonstrology@person-standing @yuakagi @moasworld @rein-deer-stuffs @lix-freckle3 @leeis @turnipsandflowerss @hoewithnojams@liliansun @melaninjhs @sunshine-skz @andromedawillburryyou@shynypeacekitten @violevantae @rpkth @hime98 @fvryang @j4yluvr @heelariously @fireflies997 @rikipediaa @manaswisingh @pshwyfie @rikithebest @as-she-pleases

(sorry if i forgot anyone lol)

you have always hated busan. you hated the humid weather, the inconsistent transportation system, and, god forbid, the noise. but now, over the past few weeks, at least, you've started to enjoy the noise during your insomniac nights. you sit in your bed for what feels like the one hundredth time tonight, having nothing better to do than look out your window. the bags that have been accumulating for weeks under your brown eyes have started to grow into a shade of dark purple that harshly contrasts with your skin tone. your house has always been quiet. it started when your father left years ago. it seemed that no matter how many were home, the eerie type of quiet that had been set into the house, lingers. it's always clean and spacious, and no one talks unless they need to you haven't spoken to your siblings in weeks. there had been underlying anger between you that has been inherited like the freckles on all your cheekbones. you sometimes try to blame yourself for the falling out, but only your dad runs through your mind at the thought. your insomnia has been toleratable since it started through the summer. still, now that your junior year is starting in a couple of hours, the insufferableness is settling in. you wish you could sleep, if only for a day. on the other side of busan, jake lies awake in his bed, staring at his posters on the ceiling. he regret sleeping all day again because now all he can hear is his brother playing video games and the busan night coming in through his window. the sim house is usually always loud, even at night. jake's friends would come over, and they'd blast music and drink or talk about life events. jake's brother would sometimes join them, adding to the noise. jake has hardly left his room all summer. the thoughts are becoming too much, so he sleeps to get them to stop. things had been hard since isa had broken up with him. he looked up his symptoms and groaned when the word 'depression' crossed the screen. jake used to like busan. it was always busy and roaring with people, but now the noise adds to it all. he needs quiet. jake feels guilty for sleeping through the summer. but he doesn't have enough energy to do anything else. he wishes he couldn't sleep through a day, just for a day.

your hair is messy as you stand outside your school, your earbuds tangled as you look up at the building you despised so much.

you're not oblivious, you know that you don't look like you're the world's next top model in your oversized clothing, your hands shoved into the pockets of your unzipped sweater

you suppose everyone has headed to their second period class by now, so you're outside by yourself, the newly fall breeze starting to twirl around the city.

you look out onto the freshly cut grass field. it reminds you of the view from your bedroom window. it looks like your neighbour's clean backyard that he cares so much for. you then start to imagine that you're home. its quiet and you're relaxed. but that false relaxation turns into wondering where your family members are, and if they're thinking of you, at least in the slightless bit

the sudden voice beside you makes you somewhat jump, "what're you doing out here?"

you turn your head to the right and see a black-haired girl. you immiediatly notice how beautiful the girl is. her features suit her face so well and wish that you're own looked as good as hers.

"um," you state, noticing the angry expression on her face, her eyebrwos furrowed, "just, listening to music." you point to your headphones.

the girl nodded uncaringly before pulling out a cigarette and a lighter, lighting it before she puts it to her lips. "it's been the worst day so far, i hate school so much." the black haired girl suddenly rants, mocking the leaning position you were in against the wall. you nod in acknowledgement to her words. "what year are you in?"

"year 11."

"ah, so i'm your senior." the girl pulls her eyebrows up, "i guess i should be a good influence on you and tell you to get to class."

"i feel like i'd learn more out here than i would in a class."

a smile spreads across the girls lips, "i'm park chaerin."

"y/l/n y/n."

"yo, are you coming or what?" a boys' voice calls out suddenly. there's a boy with black hair pushed back. he's wearing a dark blue hoodie with the number 99 on it- realizing that he must be on the rugby team for your school.

"yeah, i am, can you not give me a second, jay?" chaerin replies, pushing herself off the wall and into his direction, inhaling from her cigarette as she does.

the boys'- jay- eyes you cautiously behind chaerin, analysing if he should say anything more while you're around.

"well i don't have all day to waste like you." jay replies, rolling his eyes.

"ugh." chaerin exhales the smoke, before throwing her cigarette on the pavement and stomping on it. "let's go. bye y/n!" she smiles at you, before walking away with jay.

you could hear jay scolding chaerin for smoking around him before turning the corner, neither of them glancing back at you.

over the first few weeks of school, you had somehow became close friends with park chaerin.

sure, she was a year older than you, and so much cooler than you, but you seemed to understand each other in a way that no one else has. she was quickly becoming your best (and only) friend.

you had learnt that she also comes from a not-so-great yet not-so-bad family like you. and she liked to cause some trouble. you most definetly weren't a goody two shoes- and you're grades were horrendous but not because you were stupid- but because you could care less about high school.

you learnt that chaerin was 'secretly' hooking up with park jay from the school's rugby team. at first, you had believed chaerin when she told you that it was solely sex, but quickly you learnt that there were feelings growing from her side- feelings that the imfamous park jay probably didn't reciprocate.

"god!" chaerin groaned out, sitting beside you against the concrete wall behind the school- the place where you had first met and had somehow mutally decided that the place would be your meetup spot. "did you see him not even look at me?"

"hm?" you asked, pulling out your earbud to hear the girl.

chaerin put her head against the wall, "stupid jay, i walked right past him and his stupid friends and he didn't even look. i mean i was right infront of him there was no way he didn't see me!"

you sighed, reaching out and patting your friends' knee. "maybe he didn't see you, why don't you ask him later about it?"

"i know what his answer is gonna be, 'what would the guys think if i looked at you?'." chaerin mocked in a deep 'jay' voice. "it's so annoying! he tells me he likes me and then pretends he has no idea who i am when we are in public!"

and chaerin's words are true.

park chaerin's reputation hasn't been the best at your school. she was known for being the 'bad girl'. the girl who parties a lot, and smoked a lot and had a lot of sex- which she says she hasn't but the rest of the school disagrees- and that she really didn't care about what anyone thinks of her.

chaerin thought she could live the rest of her life not caring about other people's opinions.

until she started hooking up with park jay.

park jay was the co captain of the rugby team. he was popular, and smart and athletic and majority of the girls and guys at your school wanted to date him. you could say that he was 'preppy' and comes from a rich family that owns a lot of buildings in your city.

chaerin didn't plan on falling for jay- and he most definetlly didn't plan for that either. it's not that he was necesarily embarrassed by hooking up with park chaerin- but he still didn't want people to know.

"i'm sorry chae, hopefully he will come to his senses." you tried to reassure her.

"no, hopefully i come to my senses and ghost his ass, maybe then he'll recognize me in public."

you smiled at her words, not getting a chance to respond, "he did mention that he told one of his friends about us, his best friend."

"oh really?" you asked, genuinely shocked at park jay.

"yeah, but he made the guy swear not to tell anyone else so i can't tell if it's a step forward or backward for us."

"it's a forward one, chae- now four of us know instead of three."

chaerin scoffed with a smile at your words, "yay, four!" she spoke in her usual sarcastic tone you had become familiar with.

she wrapped her arm around you, both of you looking out to the soccer field where a class of year 9's played a shitty game of soccer. chaerin smoked a cigarette as you listened to music- something the both of you had started doing together as you talked or sat in silence, waiting for the school bell to ring for another period to start.

you always liked listening to music. your interest had become a need to live over time since you listened to it so much. it broke the silence that had settled over you and your family. you found comfort in it

you needed music when you were alone, when you were in a classroom full of people that you didn't know when you were walking in the halls to a classroom full of people you didn't know.

music could allow you to daydream as well. you got so lost in music that it helped you cope with the harsh reality of your life. you could imagine up anything you wanted with your ears being blasted by your favourite- and not so favourite songs.

and maybe that means it's not always such a good thing to do when you are walking around a bunch of other people while you're losing yourself to your daydreams because you crash right into someone, and your phone goes flying onto the hallway floors, ripping your headphones right from your ears.

you were more concerned about the ache in your ears and a possibly shattered phone than the person you had bumped into you, jaw going slack as you watched your phone slide across the hall.

"oh shit." you heard someone cuss, taking a step towards your phone before a person beats you to it. "sorr- wait, you like one ok rock?"

you finally glance up at the boy who is now holding your phone, your headphones wrapped around his hand as looked down at your screen. he had shaggy brown hair and a pretty smile as he looked at you.

"uh, yeah?"

"no way, what's your favourite song?!" he exclaimed, not caring about the other students glaring at the two of you for standing in the middle of the hallway.

you couldn't focus on this question as you just continued to stare at your phone, wondering why he was still holding onto it so tight. when you didn't answer, he looked down at his hand gripping your phone and headphones.

"oh shit, sorry again." jake almost startled himself, hurriedly handing over your phone.

"thanks." you nodded to him, rolling your phone over to see no scratches or cracks on it, noticing that the ambitions album by one ok rock was paused on the screen.

"y/n!" you heard chaerin's voice call you from behind you. you turned around and saw her face twisted into frustration. "let's go outside." she put two fingers to her mouth, signifying that she needed a smoke.

"o-okay." you nodded to her, quickly putting your headphones back in your ears, starting to rush to chase after your best friend through the halls to the back. "oh, my favourite's nobody's home!" you called over your shoulder to the boy, who only stared you with a confused smile on your face, watching how fast you ran for your upset friend.

you didn't stay to hear his response, taking his nod as a good enough answer before you made your way to your usual spot outside with chaerin, ready to hear what park jay had done now.

a day after bumping into the boy who knew one ok rock, the realization hit you on how cute he actually was and how much you embarrassed yourself by literally bumping into him and then making him pick up your things for you. you didn't even say sorry to him!

you tried to remember if you had ever seen the boy around before, but your mind drew blank. his casual sweats and distressed plaid shirt didn't seem to be a fashion sense that you recognized around your school- nor did the pretty smile and brown hair.

you especially didn't think anyone would be interested in what music you listened to or what your favourite song was.

it had you up at night for even longer than usual. at least your insomniac brain had something nice to think about for once- a boy to imagine late at night as you listened to music and stared outside your window.

since that day, you had tried to find the boy in the hallways, just a glance at him and maybe see who he hangs around with. but you never did. the brown shaggy hair was nowhere in your vision, and it made you slowly forget about him after a week.

you think you had almost forgotten about him when chaerin sat beside you abruptly against the concrete wall. today, cheerleading practice was occurring on the field in front of you.

"jay said something weird last night" chaerin shrugged, plopping her bag beside her as she dug through it.

"about what?" you asked her, taking out one of your earphones.

"you."

"me?"

"yeah," chaerin pulled out a lighter from her bag, turning to look at you, "his friend said he saw you with me and asked jay about you."

"what?" you asked again, sitting up straight, curious as to why you were ever a topic of discussion to anyone.

chaerin lit her cigarette, "yeah, jay said he didn't know anything about you, though; he said his friend seemed annoyed at it."

"who's his friend?"

"that sim jake guy, he's on the rugby team, too."

"sim jake?"

"yeah, you haven't heard of him?"

you shook your head no, confused as to why a boy on the rugby team would want to know about you.

your high school took sports very seriously. so as soon as you were accepted onto one of the sports teams, you would instantly be popular and accepted into a great university with a great scholarship.

"why would this sim jake guy want to know about me?"

chaerin shrugged, "beats me. he said something about bumping into you in the hallway."

bumping into you in the hallway.

"holy shit." you cursed, shock ripping through you when you realized who this sim jake guy must've been. "the one ok rock guy."

"the who?"

"i did bump into this cute guy like two weeks ago; he liked this same band as me, i didn't realize he was on the rugby team!"

"you think he's cute?" chaerin's jaw dropped.

"wait- not like-."

"oh my god! you think sim jake is cute?" chaerin squealed loudly, her voice bouncing off the school's walls.

"shhh!" you shoved her, "be quiet! i saw him once for maybe 30 seconds; you cannot be going around saying i think he's cute or something!"

"okay okay." chaerin giggled at your embarrassed expression, "and hey, i don't care who you fool around with or who you date, but if things with jake do ever happen, just be careful because his and his ex had a messy break up- shits still not resolved and it's been like five months."

"who's his ex?"

"lee chaeyoung." chaerin nodded towards the cheerleaders on the field, "isa. she's in my year."

across the field, lee chaeyoung, who went by her preferred name as 'isa' stood a top three girls who all held her up in the air, her navy blue cheerleading uniform contrasting against her pretty, pale skin.

you knew isa was the most popular and prettiest girl in your school; it was hard not to notice her in the halls. it was as if everyone in the hall would stop and watch her walk past them, her beauty too controlling to look away from her.

"i didn't know she had a boyfriend."

you heard chaerin scoff at your words. "y/n, i'm sorry but you don't know much about anyone at this school."

you tilted your head in consideration of her words, "that is true."

you and chaerin laugh as you continue to watch the cheerleaders practice their routines, the comfortable silence taking over until chaerin speaks again.

"do you want to come over to my house after school, there's not much to do, but we could go swimming, my parents said it's the last weekend to use the pool before they close it for the year."

"Sure." you agreed before the silence settled in between you again before the fourth period's bell rang out.

now, the two of you are in chaerin's room. you're walking around, looking at chaerin's belongings on the shelves. chaerin's talking about some drama at school again, and you nod along, not really listening. you look at the pictures chaerin has on the walls of her family. over the weeks, you have heard a lot about chaerin's family; you know that they don't always get along, but you can't help but wish you had a family like this. at least they talk to each other.

"do you want to go swimming now?" chaerin asks from her bed.

"yeah, why not."

chaerin smiles at your answer and stands up to rummage through her dresser drawers before pulling out two bathing suits. she hands you a black bikini with a smile, "go change in the bathroom."

chaerin's black bikini was definitely chaerin's bikini as you looked at yourself in the mirror. chaerin was a lot more confident in her body than you were in yours. it showed a majority of your body and curves in a way that you weren't used to. you force yourself to pick up your dad's old smashing pumpkins t-shirt that you basically live in and slip it on your body before meeting chaerin in the hallway.

chaerin's little brother, cheol, asks to go swimming with you guys, smiling once you agree that he can come. you help him apply some sunscreen. cheol already likes you, and it's partly because he can tell how much his sister does. cheol has always looked up to chaerin, and it worries the family. everyone in their family looks at cheol like he is the innocent one of them all. like he is the one that won't be a screw-up like the rest of them.

chaerin and cheol ease themselves into the pool while you still contemplate whether you should go swimming with your shirt on or off.

"come on, y/n!" cheol shouts from the middle of the pool.

"okay okay, i'm coming," you climb the ladder and stand on the edge of the pool, looking down at your pretty friend and her brother, wondering how you became so lucky to become friends with a girl like chaerin.

"what. are. you doing?" a sudden deep voice says from diagonally behind you, startling you, so you fall straight into the pool: head first.

when you come up from the water with a scowl on your face for who was the culprit that scared you, the frown drops immediately when you see park jay and sim jake standing by the gate that leads to chaerin's backyard.

"we're swimming; what does it look like we're doing?" chaerin said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

you turned away from the two boys, pushing your now-soaked hair away from your face and trying to smooth it over your head. you wiped the cheap, shitty mascara you were wearing away that had most likely leaked underneath your eyes from the water.

"i can see that. why are you swimming in september, you're gonna be sick, and then i'll have to deal with that, too." jay spoke out in frustration,

you heard chaerin scoff in annoyance, "god, you are so condescending; we are just having fun."

"whatever, can we talk inside for a second?" you heard the water in the pool start to swish around as chaerin started walking towards the ladder, so she responded to jay's question.

the two of them walked inside, a towel wrapped around chaerin's body as jay kept glancing at jake to make sure he wasn't looking at chaerin's bikini outfit.

cheol bursts out laughing beside you, smacking the water, "did you see the way you fell into the pool!" cheol said through his laughter, "head first!"

a smile spread across your face at his statement, glad someone found your embarrassing moment funny. "hey, you better watch it! I'll throw you into the pool head first!" you splashed water at the younger boy.

cheol laughed and splashed water back, drenching you again. "who are you?" his voice spoke out. you opened your eyes from wiping the fallen mascara again and turning to see that he was looking at jake, who stood by the side of a pool with a pretty smile.

"i'm jake; what's you're name?"

"i'm cheol," he said proudly, "and this is y/n, my sister's friend." jake turned and looked at you at your mini introduction.

"i know who she is," jake smiled and nodded at you, "and i like wherever you are."

"jake! come inside for a second!" jay's voice called out from the now-opened back door.

jake nodded at you and cheol before smiling and walking to where jay had just disappeared.

it took you a second to figure out what he had meant- but then you realized it was an one ok rock song. it was a song from your favourite album of theirs- and a song that really meant a lot to you.

cheol splashing water at you again turns your mind away from the thoughts of sim jake likes the same music as you, and into a water fight as you continue to splash the younger boy with both of you muffly giggling.

jake and jay end up staying longer than jay had planned. jay realized that chaerin had no food prepared to feed you guys, making him suddenly want to cook for you all. he avoided jake's teasing eyes as he started to look around for some ingredients- and he most definitely avoided the love-sick eyes chaerin was giving him- he wouldn't dare lose himself in them when jake was standing right there.

jake now stands in the kitchen, watching you and cheol in the window. jay had left to go to the convenience store to pick up some final ingredients. chaerin went to her room to change into something more comfortable than her wet bikini. with it being the late afternoon, the sun's setting behind the houses, leaving the sky smeared with dark blues, purples, yellows and pinks. jake watches you on the edge of the pool, and he can't help but think that even with the sky being so many gorgeous colours, you are a million times more beautiful.

jay finishes the dinner quickly and hands a bowl of it to everyone. you help cut the pieces for cheol, as jay and chaerin talk or argue about something amongst each other.

you are chaerin's house again this week, along with her brother, jay and jake. you've become comfortable enough to just walk in. you get along with everyone, although you've never spoken to jake since he told you his favourite song.

it was somehow agreed between you four (five if you include cheol but chaerin said he has no say in anything) that you'd all just sleep at chaerin's house tonight. you weren't sure how to feel about it, never having a sleepover in your life. you can't even sleep at your own house, so you don't know how you'd be able to sleep in someone else's.

the night went fast as everyone seemed tired from the long week at school. chaerin and jay settled into her bed, leaving jake in the guest room, and you insisted on sleeping on the couch; you didn't want to wake up anyone with your constant twists and turns and humming.

jake, for once, struggles to fall asleep that night. he thinks he slept too much the day before- falling asleep right at 4pm when he got home from school and then fully waking up at 6am today. he lays awake in the guest bed, looking around the room, scanning the walls that he's never been in before. he's had a few sleepless nights before; it turns out that tonight will probably be one of them.

soon, jake has had enough of trying to get the sleep he probably doesn't need much of at this point and quietly hops out of bed and goes down the hall. he hears cheol's soft snores come from his bedroom as he walks by- and it makes him resent him in a way. he wished he could sleep like a little boy again.

in the living room, you're lying awake in your makeshift bed on the couch. you don't know if the reason you can't sleep is that you're uncomfortable sleeping in someone else's house or that you can't stop thinking about how big of a problem your trust issues are.

at this point, you just couldn't sleep- there was too much stuff on your mind. you got up to get your bag, careful to not cause a loud noise that would wake the people upstairs. you reach in to grab a cigarette that chaerin had given you a few weeks ago. you opened the off-white back door and walked out onto the small porch.

jake walked down the stairs and noticed the backdoor open, glancing over at the couch and seeing that you were gone. he walked towards the door to close it, figuring that you had left and accidentally left the door open.

jake saw you outside, sitting on one of the old wooden chairs as you looked out into the backyard. he watched you for a minute, trying to figure out why you were out there at this time of night. he creaked open the door, before stepping out onto the creaky plywood of the porch.

you jerked around, surprised that someone else was up at this time. you and jake looked at each other for a moment, unsure of what to do, and then you chuckled and patted the chair beside you for him to sit. jake closed the door behind him and sat down, copying how you were sitting.

"what're you doing up this late?" you asked, concern laced through your voice.

"couldn't sleep. what about you?"

"i couldn't sleep either."

you stuck your hand in the pocket of your hoodie and took out the cigarette and lighter. you stuck the cigarette in your mouth and lit it.

"you smoke?" jake asked, he knew chaerin smoked, but he didn't take you for the smoking kind.

"yeah," you shrugged, "it helps me relax." you exhaled and offered the cigarette to jake, which he refused.

you liked that someone was up with you at this time of night. busan always had someone up at this hour, no matter what, but it was nice to be up with someone beside you. the night was as calm as busan could get. the occasional train would go by, a car would drive down the street, and sometimes a laugh would echo around the neighbourhood.

jake liked that you were the one awake with him. every once in a while, he would take a little peek at you and notice something different. your cheekbones, the single freckles scattered around and how every time you inhaled from the cigarette, you closed your eyes, really taking in the moment. the smoke swirled around them, and the smell of your shampoo from your hair made jake wish that this moment wouldn't end, but he was starting to feel tired again somehow.

"i heard you're on the rugby team," you said, breaking the comfortable silence between you.

"yeah, and a few other sports teams."

"do you like it?"

"yeah, i guess. i liked it more when i was younger, i think."

the two of you went back to being silent again, both thinking of different things. jake thought about how his parents forced him into sports when he was younger and wished he had started playing an instrument instead. you think about what your dad and mom are doing as you sit awake with sim jake.

"do you ever want to leave busan?" it was jake, now breaking the silence.

"yeah, all the time."

"do you have anywhere you want to go?"

"madrid, in spain." you said, throwing your finished cigarette down onto the grass. "do you want to go anywhere?"

"anywhere in california with a beach."

"why with a beach?"

jake shrugged, setting his head on the chair behind him, "you know, hot beach chicks."

you scoffed at his response with a smile, "you think hot beach chicks would be into you?"

"well," jake thought for a moment; he had never been on a beach before, so he didn't know if he fit the requirements as a 'beach boy', "i'm sure one of them will be."

you nodded and laughed at him, "they said opposites do attract." you reached into your pocket again, untangling your headphones.

jake has thought about opposites attracting before- he's never been able to tell if it's true when it comes to people. jake's tried to imagine his 'dream girl' before, but it's always been someone that was similar to him- never such a different person. he thinks that maybe you're the closest thing to his dream girl- but he has no idea how truly different you two are.

you're tired and wish you could sleep- and jake is tired and wishes he couldn't.

but still, you sit outside on the porch, sharing headphones as you both listen to one ok rock, your minds drifting to different topics once again.

over the next few weeks, chaerin and jay started becoming closer. you didn't mind jay, but you didn't think that it was that great of him to keep chaerin a secret from everyone except for you and jake. the two of them were always around each other, and when they weren't, because jay had practice, chaerin would not stop talking about him.

jake and you started talking in passing in the halls or at chaerin's house when chaerin and jay would go up to her bedroom together. overtime, it felt like jake was becoming your only friend.

jake has been going to your house almost every day now. jake liked your house. it was quiet, and he felt addicted to it. your brothers don't come home until late at night, and your mother is always working. your family could also not stand the silence that had crept its way into their house.

the two of them were up in her room like usual. she was looking at her window on her bed, her elbows propped up on the sill. jake walked around her room, picking up some things he'd find and ask questions about them, only getting small answers from her.

slow music played from your record player. jake and you have found out that you share almost all of the same music tastes.

"did you sleep last night?" you had opened up to jake about your insomnia, so when he asked you this question, you weren't surprised.

"kind of, more than usual."

you like nights like these. the sun setting, leaving behind the neighbourhood for the night, and jake somewhere in your room with you. you like to think during times like this. you wonder what it would be like if you hadn't met chaerin- you probably wouldn't have jake then, either. you try to remember what it feels like to get an actual nine hours of sleep. times like these are only toleratable because of jake. you broke the silence that you've been learning to like.

"come on, i need to smoke."

the two have gone to sitting by the window and sharing a cigarette for weeks now. it relax's them, almost enough for them to feel okay. the bags under their eyes have begun to fade since they started hanging out.

they've begun to rely on each other, and it scared both of them. they feel as if they're the only ones who understand each other.

now, the smell of your perfume and smoke surrounds them as they stare out into busan.

"what do you want to be when you're older?" you ask, blowing smoke out the window. over the weeks, they've taken turns asking questions like this, similar to the ones they asked when they first sat outside on chaerin's porch.

"a singer, maybe an actor." his response shocked you, thinking he'd say some kind of athlete or coach. you liked the thought of seeing jake on your tv, another way that he could comfort her.

"what do you wanna be?"

"i don't know, i like psychology a lot."

"that would be fun; maybe then you could tell me what the fuck's wrong with me."

you chuckle and nudge jake, "aw, ya know nothing's wrong with you."

"i guess." jake shrugs and watches you inhale the cigarette. He notices that he's been happier, but only when he's with you. when you're gone, all he wants to do is lay in bed and sleep. or think of her.

"i miss dreaming," you confess suddenly; having twenty-minute quick naps doesn't allow you to really dream up anything.

"i don't. that's all i ever do- my mind doesn't stop with them it's like overflowing."

they go back to silence as jake stares at you again, taking in all your pretty features.

"what?" you smile once you notice him.

"nothing."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jake wakes up at 7pm, successfully sleeping through the weekend again. he expects the morning light to be seeping through his curtains but realizes that it's too late for that. his thoughts turn to you, wishing that you were there with him. telling him that it's okay. nothing's wrong with you; your voice is in his head.

he's gotten used to waking up in your bed and seeing you awake by the window. you'd be smoking probably, and your earring's getting glimpses of the moonlight. maybe you'd be humming or painting your nails. but now, he's alone in his bed. the guilt begins to wash into him again. he closes his eyes and listens to his family rummaging around the house.

"are you asleep?" his brother, jaesung's, voice invades jake's quiet room. the light from the hallway lights up the room slightly. jake's eyes open, but don't look at his brother. too guilty for not spending time with him again.

"no."

"are you okay?' jaesung's question almost makes jake scoff. do i seem okay?

"yeah. 'm fine."

jaesung knows that his brother is lying. he's been worrying about him for months. the whole family has been. it hurts him. jaesung and jake have always been close. they would play video games together and watch movies. jaesung feels as if he's lost a best friend.

the older brother protectiveness is basically seeping off of him as he continues to watch jake lie in bed. it reminded him of his mother when they were younger.

"how's jay? or sunghoon? i haven't seen them around recently?" jaesung asks but gets no response from jake. "or how's that girl? y/n?"

"she's tired."

the almost silent hoarse answer from jake uneases jaesung as he tries to think of how to talk to this stranger he once knew.

jake used to party every weekend with his friends. he loved going out and brightening up any room he walked into. he liked being popular at school and having people cheer for him in the stands at any of his games. but now, jake feels like he'd rather stay in bed than do any of those things. sports have become a chore to him.

"do you want y/n to come over? i'm sure dad won't care."

"yeah."

and now you and jake have seemed to switch places. he's sat on his bed, tugging at the string of his blanket, looking out his window. and you're wandering around, looking at his trophies and medals on his shelves. it's the first time you've been to his house. his room is what you expected; messy, and there's clothing everywhere, papers thrown, and the posters that jake's collected over the years are peeling off the walls. jake hasn't been able to clean his room since the summer.

"your dad seems nice." you speak from across the room.

"yeah, i guess."

jake wonders about your parents. he's seen a glimpse of your mom before when he was on the way to your house. you don't talk about them often, usually changing the subject. he knows that they hurt you.

maybe that's why you and him bond so well; you both have sleeping problems and problematic parents.

"do you know what you're going to study in college?" you ask him, changing the subject.

"kinesiology," jake stated, "it's the only thing i could really go for with all my history in the school's sports teams."

you nod your head at his words, "i'm sure you could do something else; you'll be good at anything."

jake scoffs, "maybe not anything, but there might be something else for me."

you continue to stare around his room, trying to find something else to talk about before you stand up. "i think i should head back home now." you figured that you shouldn't overstay your welcome at the sim house. it was the first time you had ever been there, and it was already getting late into the night.

"you don't wanna spend the night?" jake asks, turning from his window to look at you, "i sleep at yours all the time; it'll be fine."

"i don't know, j." you shrug, "my brother's been home all day; he'll be wondering where i went to this late at night."

jake hums in agreement at your words, "that's okay; maybe next time then."

"yeah, next time." you take a step towards his bedroom door. "have a good sleep, jake." you smile softly at him.

"be careful walking home."

"i will, i'll see you at school."

you close his door behind you, and as you go, you can feel a ripping in your heart.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jake and you sit outside on their school's field, eating lunch together and daydreaming while listening to music. there's kids eating lunch on the other side of the field- and there are others that are kicking a ball around.

Halloween is just around the corner, and the weather resembles the holiday perfectly. it's gloomy, and leaves have fallen to surround you in a daze. although it's lunch, it feels like dusk. your jackets are zipped up, and you're sitting close to each other.

you pick up your sandwich, and your mind starts to wander off again. you think about sleep and how it feels. you wonder if your brothers are okay. you wonder if they think about you. you hate thinking about them like this because you know they aren't. they've never been the closest siblings, especially not now, with your parents basically abandoning you. being the youngest in your family, you feel like the rutt of them.

you would like to have a family like jake's; wealthy, loving, and they don't avoid each other like the plague. you know about his dad and his brother, but you've never really heard about his mom. you wonder what it must've been like to be held by a dad who loves you.

you watch jake out of the corner of your eye. the way he slowly eats, too caught up in his book to read fast. you wonder if he'll do his homework for once or go instantly to sleep when they get to your house after school. you wonder if he sleeps better at your house or his.

the breeze picks up and ruffles jake's books' pages.

"are you scared of anything, jake?"

he stops and looks up at you, pausing before he answers, "planes or turbulence. stuff like that."

"why?"

"uh, i'm not sure. maybe that's how i died in a past life."

"ah, you don't believe in that shit, do ya?" you nudge him with a smile.

jake does, if more than anything, he does .he thinks about how his mother used to talk about her fear of cars.

"what are you scared of?"

"ghosts." you smile at each other, jake shaking his head at you before returning to his book.

-

their walk home is spent by both of them complaining about how it's too early in the year to be so damn cold. her hands are freezing, and she wants to reach out and grab jake. but something forces her not to. she knows how jake feels about girls getting too close to him. it triggers some memories of him and his ex. she likes his warmth, though.

the past week, you had been sleeping for a bit, but only when jake's there. it's the warmth from him, you conclude. you finally feel not alone. his light breaths and the noises from busan remind you that you aren't going to be alone forever. you like knowing that jake will be there when you sleep.

when you step into your house, your brother, soobin, is sitting at the table. he's reading a textbook and looks deep in thought. he glances at you two and mumbles a quick 'hey' before you guys head upstairs to your bedroom to do your usual routine.

later in the night, jake is lying down on your bed. his eyes are closed, but he's not asleep. he's listening to you hum along to a song you both like as you lay down on your crossed arms on the window sill.

you were thinking about how jake used to date lee isa, the cheerleader. you never heard anything about her from him. he's told you about everyone in his life except for his mom and isa.

jake's listening to you hum until you're not, making him open his eyes and look at your slumped-over figure. "what're you thinking about?" he knows your habits so well now.

"you," you answer nonchalantly.

jake smiles and closes his eyes again, "yeah? and what about me?"

"you and isa." jake's smile drops at the mention of his ex's name.

"why are you thinking about that?"

he sees you shrug at the window, not looking at him, "you never mention her."

"well why would i mention her? we broke up months ago."

he hears you hum in response from the bottom of the bed where you sat cross-legged, "did you love her?"

jake sighs at your question, rubbing his face in annoyance. he hated thinking about chaeyoung. he blames her for triggering his sleep problems. he blames her for him falling out of love with sports. he blames her for why his whole life isn't fair.

he knows it's not right for him to blame her for everything. but he can't help it. blaming someone else is so much easier than blaming yourself.

"are you tired?" he asks you, avoiding the question you had asked.

"i'm always tired," you mumble into your arm, your eyes closed.

jake tsks, "i meant, are you tired enough to try to sleep."

you pause and think for a moment, "i could maybe sleep."

"come lay down then." you hear jake ruffle the blanket behind you, flipping it over, so you crawl in your blanket beside him.

your heartbeats quicken as you go under. the scent of jake completely taking over you even though you're in your bedroom. your back was facing him, trying to not get too close to him. you knew this was a bad idea, but when his arm reached around you to pull you close, tightening his grasp on you, you just couldn't get yourself to push him away.

jake's thumb found a way to slowly rub circles on your stomach that was showing due to jake's hoodie being pushed up your body from lying down. you that knew you should be stopping him, but you felt the calmest you have felt in years.

jake instantly fell asleep, having the best sleep he has had in a long time. you tried to sleep, but even though you were comfortable, you couldn't stop thinking about isa. you remembered a month ago when chaerin told you she and jake had a really messy breakup. the way jake changed the subject from her and being in love didn't sit right with you.

you felt like you knew mostly everything about sim jake, but you felt like he was holding something big back from you. you felt like you were holding things back from jake yourself.

you finally closed your eyes and fell asleep in jake's embrace, hoping that when you woke up, everything would still be okay between you two.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

the next day when you both woke up, it was okay between you two. you got ready for school and walked to school together. you didn't see your brother on the way out, figuring that he had already left, and possibly didn't even spend the night.

things at least seemed normal between you and jake. at lunch, chaerin came and sat with you outside. you hadn't seen the black-haired girl for a week, having been too caught up with her boyfriend. you figured that jake would make his way out and sit with the both of you, but he never came.

you thought that maybe he figured you wanted some alone time with your best friend. but chaerin didn't really feel like a best friend anymore. all the times you had hung out at her house and skipped classes together felt like nothing to you.

"jay said he wants me to meet his friends, finally." chaerin said, grabbing the cigarette from your hand and putting it in her mouth. "and god, when did you become such a smoker?"

you shrugged, "when is he going to get you to meet them."

"he didn't say." you rolled your eyes at her obliviousness that jay was definitely not planning on introducing them all any time soon. "and why do you keep looking over there? Are you waiting for someone?"

"what? no, sorry."

chaerin quirked an eyebrow up at you, "how are you and jake anyways?"

"me and jake? we're fine; what do you mean?"

"what you saying there's nothing between you and jake? i know you guys hang out a lot."

"we're just friends, chae." you rested your head against the cement wall, looking at your friend.

"mhm." chaerin smirked at you but decided to leave it.

-

jake didn't meet you at your locker at the end of the day like he usually does, so you can walk home together. you waited twenty minutes before you realized he probably wasn't coming and you should just go home.

your mind began to worry that maybe you had upset jake- or weirded him out in some way last night. it was the first time that you two had shared a bed together and had gotten some decent sleep- or at least you had gotten some sleep; maybe jake didn't.

he didn't answer your text when you got home from school, so you figured or more so hoped that he had just fallen asleep and that he would get back to you later.

but actually, jake had left school early.

he went to tell you that he was leaving at lunch, but he saw that you were sitting with chaerin and didn't want to bother you. plus, he knew that you would want to leave too if you knew he was leaving. and jake just wanted to be alone for a minute.

jake woke up with anxiety in his chest that morning with you laying peacefully beside him. the scene honestly reminded him of chaeyoung and how many times they had slept together back when jake had an actual normal sleeping routine.

it made jake think of your question the night before 'did you love her?' and it honestly made him feel worse.

the whole reason he and chaeyoung broke up was because jake didn't say those three 'special' words back to chaeyoung. she gave him time to find out if he really loved her, but time didn't help those feelings develop. if anything, they stayed stagnant even more.

their breakup was messy since everyone in the school knew about the two of them dating. isa was a popular cheerleader, and jake was a popular athlete. he thought that chaeyoung and he were really similar, but in fact, they had nothing in common besides the fact that they were both popular.

chaeyoung lost herself in the high school popularity like jake used to. it was their breakup that brought jake out of that reality. he wished he could've stayed in it a bit longer-

but then he wouldn't have met you.

sure, he would've maybe seen you around since he knew you and chaerin were friends, but he definitely would not have gone out of his way to talk to you- especially if he was still dating isa.

jake liked hanging out with you. it was different than when he was with chaeyoung.

because while he dated her, he realized that when they were in public, he was dating isa, but when they were in private, he was dating chaeyoung. and he couldn't keep up with her double life.

with you, it was so much easier. you were yourself so he could be himself. at least, he tried to be. at least he could be.

the whole messy breakup that involved the whole cheerleading team scowling and glaring at him every time one of them saw him, and all of his team members annoyed him by asking, 'how could you let the hottest girl in the school dump you?'. It all had an effect on jake, and he thought that he was working on it- and it was easier to work on it since he was with you all the time.

he's started to rely on you, and he's scared. he doesn't want to put his all into someone just for them to walk away- he thinks maybe that's what chaeyoung felt with him. but now he's too tired to think anymore, and he just wants to go to bed.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jake shakes awake on his own later on. the guilt and anxiety bubbling up too much within him that it wakes him up. he feels hopeless and stupid. why can't he shake this sadness away that has him feeling like he's sinking?

jake looks across his messy bedroom at his old rugby jersey and can't figure out why he's lost so much interest in it. he used to love running around and playing with the ball, nowadays, he can't even pick it up.

his first thought is how he wants you. but he knows tha tyou're dealing with your stuff. he thinks to himself that he's just another bother to you- and he can't have himself relying on someone else.

and now jake is hysterically crying. for months, he's been feeling like he's been holding all of this in. it's like he's crying out his whole thought process. he's shaking in his bed, and he can't seem to stop.

"jake?" jaesung's voice invades his bedroom again like the week before. "what's wrong?"

he doesn't get an answer as jake continues to cry. he can't even see jaesung because of the tears overflowing. it's not like he wants to anyways. he's been hurting his first best friend for months now.

jaesung sits down on the bed beside his younger brother. a hand resting on jake's shoulder, rubbing circles and shushing him.

it takes a few minutes for jake to calm down, jaesung staying with him the entire time- to both of them, it feels like an eternity.

"move over; let me lie down."

the sim brothers lie on their backs and stare up at the posters on jake's ceiling that you had taped back up properly for him. it's silent between them. jaesung struggles to find words to say. he's never seen anyone like this besides their mom.

"mom's probably disappointed in me." jaesung thinks out loud, mainly to himself.

"why you?"

"because i've let my brother feel like this for so long." jaesung pauses before continuing, "i've tried to help you, but i just never know how." jake reminded jaesung of their mother so much. they keep their emotions hidden and never talk about it until it's too late.

jaesung hates it.

he hates that the trait has gone into his brother. a part of him wishes that he was the one to inherit it instead.

"i never know how, either."

it's silent between them again, until jake starts quietly crying again.

"i miss mom, jae."

"me too."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

soobin is sitting at the kitchen table when you come downstairs in the morning for school. he's already dressed for work, and it makes you scared to go downstairs- as if you were to you'd guys would fight like usual.

"hey soob," you say as you make your way across the kitchen to get your school bag. it's the first time in a while that you actually get to look at your older brother. soobin and you are only three years apart, which is closer in age than your oldest brother.

when you were younger, soobin and you used to look exactly like your mother. you all had the same eyes and lips and dark, straight hair. your oldest brother looks identical to your father- and you wonder if he even sees your dad when he looks in the mirror.

"are you going to school today?" soobin asked with a surprised tone, he knows how much you skip it.

"yeah, i am."

"going to all of your classes?"

"yeah, i am." you roll your eyes at him with a smirk.

the conversation with your older brother resembles how they used to be before your dad left. it was like you were still close brother and sister instead of strangers that were somehow related. you wonder if this would be the last time you'd see soobin for a while; him disappearing for a month is not uncommon.

"have a good day at school then, y/n." soobin stares at you, unsure what to say to you as you stare back at him with your hand on the front door's knob.

you smile at him, "i won't." you wish you could stay at home with your brother for a little longer, but school is waiting, and chaerin says she has something important to tell you. "see you." the siblings nod their heads at each other, and it already feels like they've gone back to being strangers.

-

at school, you sat through your lunch confused as to why you hadn't seen even a glimpse of jake. chaerin sat with you at lunch, where you only gave vague answers to her new rant of problems she's been having with jay that you're sure you've heard before.

you walked past the rugby team in the hall and didn't see that brown shaggy head of hair that you had analyzed so many times in your bedroom late at night.

you didn't even see park jay in the herd of athletes. the rest of them didn't like too familiar to you, but you've seen a couple of them in pictures on jake's shelves or in his phone that he showed you. the captain of the rugby team, lee heeseung, was the only one that noticed you scanning them as you walked by, earning a curious look from him before you walked away.

you saw chaerin at her locker farther down the hall, deciding to ask her if jay was at school today.

chaerin scoffed at your question, rolling her eyes and turning back to rummage through her locker for something.

"what?" you asked her, confused at her response.

"if you actually listen to me when i speak, then you'd know he wasn't here." chaerin stated, "and why do you suddenly care about my boyfriend?"

"because i'm wondering where jake is i-."

"oh of course," chaerin slams her locker door shut, "jake this, jake that, whatever! i know that you guys bonded over... whatever sleeping problems you have going on, but you didn't have to ditch me for your boyfriend or whatever. i didn't ditch you; at least i try to tell you things, but you're always caught up with jake."

"he's- he's not my boyfriend, chae."

chaerin scoffs at your response, shaking her head and looking away from you. "that's really all you got from what i just said?"

"no! i heard the rest! and i'm sorr-!"

"just leave it, y/n, i'll see you around maybe." chaerin turns on her heel and heads to class, leaving you standing alone in the hallway as the bell rings for last period to commence.

you really struggled through your last period, walking in late, earning a warning from your teacher, staring at your classmates and worrying about jake and chaerin on your mind throughout it.

as soon as the final bell rang, you went straight to jake's house. you've only been to his house once before, but you've walked him home a few times, so you knew exactly where to go. you wondered why jake hadn't answered your text all day when everything seemed fine the day before.

walking up to the house, you see a boy that you had learnt the name of through jake, park sunghoon, leaving jake's house. he looked tired and his hair which jake described as 'always had to be perfect' was messy. he sauntered down the porch steps and started walking down the street away from you, not paying attention to the Halloween decorations that people were starting to put out for the year.

you waited a minute, kicking the fallen leaves on the sidewalk before walking any closer to jake's house, contemplating whether or not you should really be doing this. but nonetheless, you walk up to the white front door of the sim house and knock.

an equally tired-looking park jay opens the door. he looks much different than how he usually portrays himself in the hallways at school and on the sports field. you almost laugh at the thought that this is what jake and you must look like to other people with his messy hair and dark circles under his eyes.

jay looks confused to see you standing there but still greets you, "hey, y/n." "hi, why weren't you at school today?" you looked up at the rugby player. "no reason, just didn't want to go." jay hated lying, and he hated people who lied. but he realized that he had been lying a lot recently, not just to other people but to himself. "is jake here?" you could hear jay's breath hitch as you asked the question he knew was coming. "um, i don't think you should see him right now. he's sleeping and was in a bad mood earlier." the silence between them was awkward and uncomfortable. you moved nervously on your feet, as if it was the first time you had ever spoken to jay all over again. still, you nodded your head, acknowldging what jay had said. jay looked over your visibly tense body. he scanned you from head to toe, watching your finger start to tap against your upper thigh. over the years, jay had come knowledgable to when someone tapped their finger against their thigh repeatedly: they needed a smoke. it was a common habit in the house he'd grown up in, "come on, let's go to the backyard."

- jay sat cross-legged, picking and playing with the leaves and grass on the ground. you lay beside him, blowing smoke rings. it was now a somewhat comfortable silence between the two, different from how it had been minutes before. you watched the mid-afternoon clouds roll against the sky in a somewhat slow manner, your smoke mixing in. "Did something happen last night with jake?" you broke the silence.

"i mean, he probably doesn't want me saying anything." you sat up as jay confessed.

"he doesn't want to see me?"

"not today, no. he's tired."

you sighed, "he's always tired."

you were sick of the game that jay was playing. you knew something happened, and you wanted to know what. your first thought was that you had said something or maybe sleeping in the same bed had triggered something in jake. if jake didn't want to be your friend anymore, he could've said it himself. you're used to people leaving.

so, you left jay playing in the grass and leaves and walked home. you held back the tears that were threatening to fall.

sim jake was now just some other person that left you behind.

but still, jake's sweet laugh echoes through your mind.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- it has been twelve days since you had last seen jake. you haven't been going to school. you don't see the point in it. the only reason why you went to school before is now gone. you don't think you could go anyways. you haven't slept for more than an hour in five days. the school has called your house to inform your mom about your absence, but it's no use because she isn't home. you've gotten used to the quietness again, and you wish you hadn't. you try to not think about jake, but you can't help imagining him lying beside you in your bed, laughing. his shaggy hair shaking with his movement and his warmth surrounding you. sometimes, you think you can really hear him calling your name, but you realize that it is just because you're sleep deprived.

today is halloween, and you knew what you would be.

you'd be alone like you have been for the past weeks.

you spend your days quietly in your quiet house. you listen to the chaos of busan from your window. most days, you smoke cigarettes and read the old poetry you found in your mother's drawers.

other days, you're in the bath, listening to the water run around you. you like to imagine then that you're starting fresh with everything. that when you get out, everything will be okay. but the only thing that will make all this okay is if jake would be there.

when you find yourself in your kitchen, you sit on the island looking out the window into the backyards of the neighbourhood. you sit there for a while sometimes and lose track of time so easily. you feel like you sit there for five minutes, but it's been an hour. everything moves by so quickly. you used to like being alone in the quiet, but now it's just so lonely.

tonight, the sky darkened quickly, and kids in Halloween costumes swarmed the streets. you kept the front porch light off, not wanting any kids to come knocking on the door. you sat on the couch, watching true romance. with the house being so still, you welcomed the company of the tv. the movie was at the part where clarence had fought alabama's pimp. his face being shown as bloody and his knuckles sore. you couldn't help but think of jake, knowing how hurt he got when his rugby team broke out into fights with the opposite teams.

when the movie ends two hours later, you fall asleep on the couch. the way you've been falling asleep recently is a lot different than how you used to. you're called up in a ball, a frown on your face. when you're actually asleep, you dream of jake for a moment.

it's always the same dream: he's alone in his room, on his bed, with an unlit cigarette in his hand. tears have been streaming down his face for hours, frustrated with himself for not being able to be who he used to be- that happy jake that everyone loved. then, you walk into his room. his face lights up automatically, and pats a spot beside him, motioning for you to sit with him. you curl yourself into jake's side, his arm over your shoulder. he lets the cigarette drop from his hand and onto his messy floor.

and then he falls asleep happily. you like that thought: the thought of how you're the only person-the only thing that can get jake to sleep with a smile on his face.

you feel wetness on your face suddenly.

"y/n? y/n!"

your eyes open, and you realize it's raining and dark outside. it feels like you have been asleep for days, but in reality, it has only been two hours. a sensation of coldness runs through your body, making you shiver.

a feeling of warmth being placed on your forearm makes you turn your head to side.

"jake?"

"are you okay?" you stare at him, not believing that after two weeks, he's standing in front of you. "come on, let's go inside." he wraps his whole body around you, trying to keep you warm from the rainy Halloween night.

-

you lay in your bed, blankets upon blankets cover you. your head is titled so you can look out the window, facing away from jake. he sits on a chair that he has brought up from downstairs.

he watches you, your eyes glowing from the streetlight through the window. the bags under your eyes have never looked worse, and he wonders how much you've slept in the past weeks.

it's been quiet for a long time between you two. jake notices that it's the same kind of quiet that's been shed through his house. his dad and jaesung are home more, but they barely talk anymore.

jay and sunghoon have been around a few times. heeseung even came with them once. jake can tell that something is wrong with them all- its like they're keeping a secret and he's the only one that's not in on it. he was still grateful that his friends came and checked up on him, but still, all he could think about what how happier he'd be if he was with you.

"how did i end up outside? how did you find me?" you finally speak, breaking the silence.

"you were standing at the corner, just staring. i saw you on my way back from the convenience store."

for the past week and a half, jake has been going to the small store late at night. he wanders the aisles, trying to find something to distract himself from thinking about you. he thinks it worked at first, picking up random chocolate bars and wondering where they had been before. Still, then he remembered he had seen you at his exact convenience store before.

it was the summer before, jay and him were there, picking out drinks that they could bring to the party with them, when the door's bell chimed, signifying that someone had come inside the store. jay was bent down, skimming over the pop flavours and reading them out to jake while he glanced over his shoulder at the door.

jake saw you start wandering the aisle by the cash register, smiling at the man behind the counter. jake remembers thinking how cute your messy hair was as it wrapped around your headphones. he thought you were cute with your shaky hands reaching out to place a single chocolate bar on the counter and paying.

jay distracted him then, handing him multiple bottles of soda for him to hold. he turns around just in time to see you leave the store, your messy hair turning the corner towards your house.

jake wondered then that maybe if he hadn't met chaeyoung that night at the party, he might have thought about you again, gone back to that convenience store and seen you, ask you about what song you were listening to. maybe then he wouldn't feel as shitty as he does now.

jay told him that you haven't been going to school either, which worried him. he wanted you to get good grades and graduate. he wanted you to go to college and study psychology. he wanted you to be successful and get out of busan unlike him, who would be stuck here forever.

jake's been in your room a relentless amount of times before, but now, he's sitting in this chair as if it's his first time again. your damp hair is sprawled out around your head on your pillow, your old, wet clothes are hung up in the bathroom, and you're wearing one of jake's old shirts that he had left over on accident a few weeks ago.

"i missed you, y/n."

jake smiles, the same pretty smile that you've gotten used to. it makes your chest hurt at the thought of how much you've missed it.

"did you?"

jake nods, "i thought about you a lot, and i'm sorry we had to stop talking for a bit."

it's silent in the room again until you throw open your blanket on one side, patting the spot next to you. "it's okay."

jake slides into bed next to you, covering his body up and now laying so your arms were brushing against each other.

jake closes his eyes, and you imagine that he's thinking about what it would be like if they had never stopped talking. how close would they be now? how many more inside jokes and songs would they have known?

"i'm really sorry though, i am. i just-." jake pauses, making you turn your head to you're looking at each other. "i had some shit to deal with, and i didn't want to bring you into it."

your faces are close to each other as you scan the other's faces. you've been close to each other like this before, but this time it feels different. it feels like you're being sucked into each other like you're slowly being pieced together forever. you bite your lip before asking, "are you okay now?"

"yeah, i am, but i-."

"then, it's okay. and let's sleep because i'm tired, and i feel like i can actually sleep tonight."

"why tonight?"

"because you're here."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jake and you decide to skip school when you wake up the next day. the rain from last night has stopped and left everything dampened and feeble. it almost feels odd to be around each other again, like you're forbidden to be together, but there's nothing actually forbidding it.

jake falls into your routine almost instantly, sitting around your house in silence, but not alone anymore. you're smoking as he reads beside you; music from your mother's record player is filling the lack of conversation.

you want to ask jake what had happened exactly that made him turn away from you. you wanted to ask if it would ever happen again and if you should prepare for it. you had so many questions to ask, but you kept quiet. if he wanted to tell you, then he would. he's said he's sorry, and you aren't sure if you're just naive to believe it or not. but you do, and you're so glad he's back beside you.

you glance over at the book that jake found on the old bookshelf you have in your house. your dad used to read to you all when you were younger; he's the only one that ever kept up with the collection of books on those shelves. now, they go untouched- the first person to even look at the thing in years was jake.

he's picked up romeo and juliet, you can see the star-crossed lovers on the faded cover. the pages are yellow from the oxidation over the years- and it makes you think, when did your dad buy the book.

"why're you reading that?"

jake puts his thumb on the part of the page he was on and looks at you. "i don't know, it's good." you make a disgusted expression on your face, making him laugh. "have you ever read it?"

"no, but i know what it's about."

"okay well, i'll read it to you and then you can see what it's really about."

you shrug before bending over to the table and putting your cigarette out in the empty coffee mug. you move so that you're lying down with your head in jake's lap, romeo and juliet is just above your head as jake opens the book and begins to read where he left off.

..."my bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep. the more i give to thee, the more i have, for both are infinite."...

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

walking into school for the first time in three weeks was nerve-wracking. not many people at your school knew of your existence, but the stares you received made your hands shake in your sweater's pockets. they were most likely staring because sim jake had returned too and was walking next to you, but still, their eyes never left yours.

you couldn't tell if jake was as nervous as you. you figured that jake was used to being in the spotlight. he was used to having everyone's attention on him as soon as he walked into a room. but that was before he got depressed- before the dark, twisted thoughts started seeping into his mind and made him confused about who he really was.

you feel jake's hand slip into your pocket, latching onto your hand and lacing his fingers with yours. you figured he had felt your anxious behaviour beside him; it was something you had noticed he picked up easily ever since you became friends.

there was a split of students in the hallway, everyone moving out of the way when they saw someone coming from behind them.

isa stood in the middle of the hallway in front of you and jake. her high ponytail swung down and over her shoulder as she kept an unamused expression on her face. her arms were crossed over her chest, covering the school's logo on her cheerleading uniform. her eyes scanned you and jake, leading down to where jake's hand disappeared into your pocket.

jake ripped his hand away from you, seeing how isa's eyes turned darker at the physical contact between you two. your heart clenched at the action, but you knew it was probably for the best of your and jake's lives at the moment.

"hi, jakey." isa spoke with a fake smile on her red lips. jake answered with a quiet greeting back, trying to avoid her eyes. "so, who's this?" isa looked at you, "and why are you holding her hand?"

"we're friends." jake's statement is short but to the point and for some reason it makes your chest feel empty. like there's a dreading feeling growing there, and you aren't sure when it started.

isa's face contorts into a disgusted expression as she looks at you again. this time you can tell she's judging everything about you as her eyes look you up and down, resting longer on your hair before looking back to jake. "i thought you had a better taste in friends but i guess i was wrong."

you tried to hold back your laugh at her words, looking down at your shoes and biting your lip. she was so bold, so opinionated that she obviously didn't think more about her words before she spoke.

"why is that funny?" isa speaks to you, stepping forward, so she is right in front of you. you look up at her and can only shrug. "do you agree? are you self-aware that you look like shit?" the rest of the cheerleaders laugh behind her. "do you know what concealer is? god those bags."

"chaeyoung." jake warns with frustration.

"what?" she looks away from you, "god, you need some concealer too." she shakes her head and steps back from you both, "what the fuck do you guys do together to look so awful?"

"do you have to be a piece of shit?" you all turn and see chaerin standing beside you now, an annoyed look on her face as she stares isa down.

"oh great, the school's ashtray is here." isa rolls her eyes, and the students in the hallway start laughing.

"well," chaerin starts, pulling out a cigarette and putting it in her mouth, "at least i'm not the school's slut." the laughing stopped instantly at chaerin's statement.

"me?" isa points to herself in shock, "i'm the slut? what about you? you go around fucking everything in sight!"

"you better shut your fucking mouth, isa." jay cuts in suddenly, walking in front of you all to stand before isa. "just for once, shut up." you could see chaerin go frigid as jay spoke in front of you.

"what the hell are you doing, jay?" isa asks, her arms crossing over her chest again.

"i'm obviously telling you to fuck off."

isa scoffs, "and why's that? it's not like you've ever seen jake in months. all he does is run around with those two... things." she nods her head at you and chaerin.

"because he's still my friend," jay turns and looks at jake, making eye contact with you, "they're both my friends. and she's my girlfriend," he points at chaerin, "so like i said before, shut your fucking mouth about any of them, or better yet, just shut up about everyone and mind your own business!"

the students gasped when chaerin came beside jay, wrapping their arms around each other's backs.

isa scoffs once again before looking at jake over jay's shoulder, "you're an idiot for losing me, jake, i hope you realize that." she turns on her heel and disappears down the hall, her cheerleader friends following behind her.

the bell rings to start the day of classes, making the students groan and start heading to their class. it leaves the four of you in the hallway together. all looking at each other, unsure of what to say.

it's chaerin that breaks the silence first, "i'm sorry, y/n. for our fight a few weeks ago."

"no, it's okay. you were right, i was being a bit selfish when it came to my feelings."

"no, i was being selfish. all i ever did was talk about me, i never even gave you a chance to speak or ask how you are."

"it's okay, chae, don't worry about it."

"we're still friends?" chaerin asks sheepishly, playing with her hair nervously.

"of course, we are!"

chaerin grins at you before wrapping you up in a tight hug. "good! because you're like my only friend besides him!" she points at jay, who only rolls his eyes. "and i can't believe you stood up for us! where the hell did that come from?"

"she deserved everything i said," jay explains, "i don't know why she thinks she's so above everyone." jake stays quiet beside you, both of you watching chaerin kiss jay before they say their goodbyes to you quickly, chaerin pulling jay down the hall as they giggle.

"are you okay?" jake asks you, "i'm sorry for what she said, i should've said something, but-"

"jake, it's okay, i don't care what she said about me." jake nods, kicking the floor gently with his foot. "are you okay?"

"yeah, it's just weird that that was the first time I've spoken to her since we've broken up, i guess she's still mad at me."

"she'll get over it."

jake scoffs, "yeah, and hopefully soon."

"i'll see you after school, right jakey?" you ask, mocking isa's nickname for him.

jake only nudges you before walking away with a genuine smile. you watch him disappear down a hall before you head outside. you were already late to class, so you might as well just not go,

maybe you'll go to second period.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

it rains for the majority of november. everyday jake and you share an umbrella as you walk to and from school together. he holds the umbrella so you can smoke. sometimes you hold the umbrella as jake finds a good song to put on as you share headphones.

it still rains the day that jake has somehow persuaded you to go to a party with him. he has been feeling better recently. he's still quiet at school, but he spends more time with you laughing than he does reading and listening to music in silence. his smile makes you feel better, and you wonder if he's picked up on that habit of yours like he has with your anxious tics.

the sky is dark navy blue as you walk with jake to the party. the neighbourhood has been quiet for the rest of the afternoon; the night will most likely remain just as quiet. you wish you could say the same for yourself, aware that your night will consist of loud teenagers and the bass of probably shitty music that you nor jake are very fond of.

jake holds your hand until you arrive at the party, pulling his away when you step inside lee heeseung's house. you've noticed that jake doesn't hold your hand in public like he does when you're alone, but you don't bring it up to him, knowing that you probably won't like his answer as to why he does it.

jake says he'll see you in a little bit when you both find chaerin and then he's disappearing into the crowd of people that go to your school, but you have no idea who they are.

you and chaerin are sitting on some chairs close to a window at the backdoor. you imagine that it's just you and chaerin in this house, and you're waiting for jay and jake to return for you both. you ask her about cheol, and if he still wants to join the army when he's older.

the sun officially set an hour ago, so now the backyards are only lit up by the street lamps. there are a few kids in the backyard; a couple kissing on the bench swing, two girls taking turns drinking out of a wine bottle and a boy smoking by himself in the far back corner. even though the music is loud and every now and then there is a too loud of a scream from someone, it's relaxing.

you let your mind start to wander again. it's the first time in a while that you let yourself think about deep things. it starts with your parents, your mystery brothers and then jake.

you've thought about being jealous of jake's life every now and then. you almost always get over the feeling, but it still stays in your head. it's how he's always been popular and good-looking and how he gets the prettiest girl in your school to fall for him. it's the way that he can sleep while you can only sleep for a few hours if he's the one that holds you. you've heard him talk in his sleep a few times; the mention of the word 'mom' slips out his mouth the most often, followed by jaesung's.

you're glancing around the party then, easily finding jake being the centre of attention. you watch him, feeling creepy and guilty as you do it. it's like you're watching him from a time in his life that you weren't a part of. like he doesn't know you exist, and he won't want you watching him. it's almost like you're spying on him. he's laughing, throwing his arm over some guy you've never seen before but figuring that the two of them are friends.

you're wondering then what will happen tonight. will jake realize that he misses all the parties he's always gone to? will he realize that he doesn't belong with someone like you? you wonder if he doesn't need you anymore. he has been sleeping regularly and laughing more. you wonder if the change in him after tonight will be like clockwork; inevitable and easy to happen.

"y/n," chaerin taps your shoulder, gaining your attention. the girl's black hair is braided back tonight, letting her pretty facial features be noticeable. "are you okay? you're shaking." chaerin's still been keeping an eye on you for the past month. she's also noticed that jake's been feeling better, but you seem to stay the same. the dark shades of purple under your eyes have disappeared, but she knows you still aren't up to your best point yet.

you become aware of your shaking knees and hands, making them stop at once. "yeah, i'm fine." you brush your sweaty hands against the fabric of your jeans. you glance back at jake for a second, seeing that he's already staring at you now. you aren't sure if he caught the worried look on chaerin's face for a second or your fake smile at her afterwards, but he's nodding his head at you for you to go somewhere together.

"i'm gonna go with jake for a second." chaerin nods, leaning back in her chair again and relighting her cigarette. you walk over to the front of the living room, where jake stands waiting for you.

"you wanna go outside?"

the early december air is cold on the balcony of lee heeseung's house. you and jake sit side by side on the couch, your hands brushing against each other so that you both don't want to be the first one to grab the other's hand. your hair is down and messy again, something that is unpreventable but in a pretty way. in a way that jake is sure you have no idea about, but he understands it more than anyone else ever will. from afar, they most definitely look like just friends, but up close, it's evident that there is something deeper between them in natural light.

"what's your favourite song? of all time." you have listened to the same music since you were born. you grew up listening to your dad's rock bands and your mother's classic 80s records.

"probably something by the neighbourhood. or something that would piss my parents off. they don't like my music very much."

"they don't like rock or alternative music?"

jake scoffs, shaking his head, "most definitely not; they were always the good-two-shoes type of kids in high school and college- rock music was not something they listened to." you nod your head as you listen to him. "what's your favourite song? of all time."

you think, looking up at the starry sky and imagining yourself being able to only listen to one song for the rest of your life. being able to be content with that one single song. music was something that controlled your life; you couldn't do anything without it.

"i don't know, there's so many good songs. so many songs that make me happy."

"yeah, i figured you say something like that." jake laughs, taking a sip from his red solo cup.

'what does that mean?"

"it means that i've been with you almost every day for three months; if you don't have your headphones in then, you're using that old-ass record player."

"music sounds better on that old-ass record player."

"music sounds better when you're drunk." jake tips his cup up and finishes it; you only smile in return.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

the walk back to jake's house is silent besides your few huffs of struggle from holding jake up. he's too drunk to make any real conversation at the moment. you've both been sleeping pretty well lately, considering your old sleeping habits, and you wonder how jake will sleep tonight. you hope that after tonight the way he looks at you will be the same as when he watches you smoke out the window while humming.

when they get inside jake's bedroom finally, he plops down immediately on his bed. you see that his room is still undesirably messy as if he doesn't even notice it anymore.

jake strips off his sweater so that he's in his jeans and t-shirt. his hair is just as messy as your own as he flips over onto his back. the moonlight outside is shining through his window and is the only light in his room.

you watch him from the closed door of his bedroom, like the first time she did when she came over. you've never seen jake drunk before, but you've heard stories of it. he always made being drunk sound like something fun- but the memories you have with your drunk dad are the opposite.

"you're beautiful, y/n." he smiles that pretty smile of his at you, but his eyes are more slugged than they usually are.

you only scoff in response as you make your way to his bed, grabbing his duvet so pull it over him.

"do you not believe me?"

"not really, no." you said, tucking in the blanket,

"you are, though, so, so beautiful." jake closes his eyes then, and you're staring at him in the moonlight, taking in his cheekbones and heart-shaped lips. you want to tell him that he's beautiful, too.

"you're drunk." you stand up away from him. "i'm gonna go home so I'll see you tomorrow if you're not too hung over."

"don't go, y/n." you turn and stare at him, his eyes looking worried as your hand rests on the doorknob. "just spend the night, you know we sleep better when we're together."

you sigh and think about it; you've never slept over at jake's before. he smiles at you from his pillow when you're standing over his bed again, untucking the blanket you had just tucked. you're slipping in carefully beside him, his cologne engulfing you. jake tucks your hair behind your ear, moving it away from his face so he can see you.

"thank you." jake whispers out as if it was some sort of secret that no one else could hear.

you chuckle, "you don't have to thank me."

"yeah i do," jake nustles his face into your shoulder, "you're the reason i'm happy."

you try to think of a response, feeling your heart beat faster at the spoken words you had only imagined him saying before. before you can think of anything, you hear his soft breaths in your ear, his body going limp beside you as he starts to sleep peacefully.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jake wakes up in the morning with a headache. the night before was the first time that he had drank in months, and he had drunk a lot. all he can think about when he wakes up is how thirsty he is, he needs an advil and where are you.

he reaches down on the floor beside his bed to grab his sweater that he had thrown off the night before, getting easily frustrated when he can't find it, forcing himself to sit up and look. he's taken aback a bit when he sees that his room doesn't even look like his room anymore. it's not necessarily clean, but the garbage and clothes all over the floor are gone, and his desk is tidy of any papers and pens thrown on it. he instantly knows that you did it; no one else would.

jake walks downstairs and finds you sitting at the table with jaesung and his dad. they're smiling as they talk to you. it brings jake a sense of something he's never felt before. he can't help but compare them to when they had first met chaeyoung. they weren't as happy to see her, they didn't like the way she acted or spoke or 'bossed' jake around.

the creaking on the floor under jake's feet made them turn and look at him, their smiles growing bigger when they saw him. "hey." they greeted him back, asking him how he slept.

jake stood beside you, and you stared up at him, "i'm gonna go now, soobin texted me, and he wants me home."

"okay, do you want me to walk with you?"

"no, i'm okay." you head towards the door, saying bye to jaesung and his dad. jake leans on the wall and watches you put your shoes and jacket on before opening his front door for you.

"thanks for getting me home safe and cleaning my room." jake smiles softly, almost like he's embarrassed to say thank you now.

"it's no problem." you step out onto his porch, "i'll see you tomorrow at school?"

"yeah, tomorrow, be safe, y/n."

"i will." you turn and start to go down the stairs of the porch until he calls your name once again. "yeah?"

jake scratches the back of his neck, "i uh, i meant what i said last night." you tilt your head at his words, "the uh, i think you're beautiful, and you make me happy, i wasn't just drunk and saying shit out of my ass."

you smile up at him, "okay." you nod, "i'll see you tomorrow, j. have a good sleep tonight."

"you too."

jake closes the door then, taking a deep breath for no reason in particular. he wonders how he will sleep tonight now that you're physically gone because he knows you'll be taking up his mind.

-

your mother is already home when you get home, and she is not in a good mood. you can tell how she is as soon as you get in the door; she's sitting at the kitchen table with her hand on her forehead, pushing back her hair. soobin is sitting beside, leaning back in the chair and looking like he wishes he could be anywhere but there.

they both look up when you close the front door. your mother looks like how she always does; angry but pretty.

"where have you been?" your mom asks, "i got home last night, and neither of you were here. Do you even live here when i'm gone?"

"i was at a friend's house, i slept over." you shrug off your jacket and hang it up, trying to avoid your mother's angry gaze. you glance at soobin who is picking at a loose thread on his sweater. you stand beside the table, looking down at both of them now.

"which friend is this?" your mom turns her nose up at you, "because you smell of men's cologne and cigarettes."

"jake."

"a boy? you slept over at a boys' house?" you mom exclaims, shock on her face. "were his parents home?"

you hold back a scoff at her questions, choosing to look away at the floor. "y/n, i'm talking to you." you look up at your mom with a bored expression on your face. "are you going to answer?"

"why do you care if his parents were home? it's not even like you're home or even a parent at this point." you see soobin look away with a grin on his face, knowing that your words were true and wishing that he could say the same thing.

"i'm not a parent? then who raised you?"

"soobin, yeonjun, dad."

your mother sighs at the mention of your father but chose to not comment on it like she can't even say his name for some reason. "has anyone even heard from yeonjun?" when it stays silent, your mom only sighs again. "well can you try to contact him, please? because i want him to know, i won't be here for christmas."

"you what?" you and soobin exclaim but not moving.

"some coworkers and i need to go to cuba during that week to sort out a few details about a business plan."

"so you're going on vacation on christmas?" soobin deadpans, shaking his head at your mother.

"no, i'm going on a business trip."

"in cuba." you point out.

"for a week." soobin adds on. "why can't you just leave after christmas?"

"because we need to leave on the 22nd." your mother shakes her head before standing up. it remains silent as she gathers her suitcase and jacket. "well, this is not how i expected to spend my day off. i wanted to come home to a house full of my kids and spend some quality time together, but instead, no one's home, and we fight! so thanks a lot!" your mother sighs, rubbing her forehead again because she's angry, "I'll see you later in the week. Hopefully, you'll be home then." she opens the front door, "and please, find yeonjun!"

your mom leaves you and soobin in the silence both of you have gotten used to. soobin avoids the silence at most times, spending nights at his friends' houses, his college or at his girlfriends' house. you're stuck in this house for another year; at least for some of it, you'll get to be with jake.

you don't exchange any words with soobin as he starts to get ready to leave the house for the day, not bothering to tell you where he's going because you're already making your way up the stairs to your bedroom, trying to process the idea of spending christmas alone. the only reason your brothers came home for christmas morning was so that your mother was happy- but now she's not coming, so it'll just be you alone in this sickly quiet house.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

you're used to spending the first days of winter vacation alone. your house is not only quiet during those days, but it gets extremely cold. you start this year's winter vacation the same way. you drink a cup of coffee, listen to your mom's classic records and take a bath.

you must take a bath during this time of year- it's become almost traditional for you. they make you feel cleaner and ready for the cold busan day.

after your bath, you usually sit on the couch, waiting for the day to be over so you can do your whole morning routine over again tomorrow until the day your brothers and mom come home.

this year, it's different. after your traditional bath, you smoke around the house, waiting for jake to come over. it's become traditional itself- the way you and jake lounge around your bedroom as if it's a vacation just for you. both of you take short naps together throughout the day, knowing that it will just mess up your sleep schedule by the time school starts up again in two weeks.

today, jake comes over while he's hungover. you smile at him as soon as he comes in, picking up on how his eyes are squinting from the sunlight reflecting off the snow outside.

jake's gotten used to the little routine you two have going on. it feels familiar and good. he's likes coming over to you sitting on the couch with wet hair, wearing one of his or your dad's shirts.

jake mumbles something to you about wanting to lay in your bed upstairs, away from all the windows down here that bring in all the sunlight that 'kill his head.' you follow him up your stairs as if he's showing you his house instead and plops down on your bed with a sigh of relief. he moves over, so he's against the wall, making room for you.

jake and you lay beside each other; he's telling you about the party he went to last night for park sunghoon's birthday a few days ago. he tells you he didn't plan on drinking that much, but sunghoon always convinces him to drink more. you stop responding to him after a while, getting lost in your thoughts. the thoughts about what jake does when he's drunk, and you're not around.

"what're you thinking about?" jake asks suddenly, putting his hand over yours to stop them from shaking, another habit he's picked up on.

"nothing." you shrug because it really is nothing; the things you think about you don't even know if they are true or not.

"no, tell me." jake moves over so he's on his side facing you now. "i know when something's bothering you, so just tell me."

"how were all the pretty girls at the party?"

jake scoffs at your question, turning his head to look at the window before looking at you again. "are you being serious?"

"yeah, i am."

jake stares at you for a moment, in disbelief at your question, "none of them were as pretty as you." you could only look up at your ceiling, not having enough courage to look at the boy beside you.

jake thinks ever since he met you, you've been insecure about how you look. and it's just something he's never understood. he thinks you're the prettiest girl he's ever seen. he wishes he could tell you that more, but every time he does compliment you, you just ignore him or change the subject. he wishes you could see just how pretty you were.

jake reached out and put his hand on your chin, pulling your face so you could look at him, "i mean it. you're the prettiest girl there is, and i wish you were at the party with me last night- it would've been more fun with you."

you shake your head, "no, i would've made it more boring by complaining about the music choice."

jake laughs before going back to being serious, "you're pretty." he can tell you're about to shake your head no again, so he decides to stop you.

his grip on your chin tightens as he leans over and presses his lips to yours.

it's a quick, soft kiss- a peck- and you barely feel it.

"you're pretty."

"j, i-." you're about to disagree again when he pulls you into a kiss again. this one longer, you could feel his heart-shaped lips against yours as you closed your eyes and relaxed.

"say you're pretty."

you pause for a moment, "i'm pretty." you sigh, making jake laugh as you shyly smile.

"say it like you mean it."

you pause again before stating, "i'm pretty."

jake hums in approval, "that's a good girl." he leans in for a kiss again, his hand dropping from your face to play iwth the string of your old sweatpants. when he pulls away again you both look down at where his hand is laying against your abdomen. "can i show you how pretty you are?"

you immediately nod, making jake chuckle softly before he unties your sweatpants and slippin his hands in over your panties. if it wasn't jake beside you, you think you'd be more embarrassed that you're wearing the purple cotton panties you've owned for maybe four years. but with jake, it's comfortable, and you know he won't think anything different of you as fingers slide over the cotton fabric.

you feel like you and jake had talked about everything except your guys' sexual history. it was a topic that you had thought about asking each other but never had the courage to actually ask. "have you ever done something before?" jake asks you, his lips pressing softly into your cheek and down your jaw.

"yeah," you sigh out, trying to suppress the urge to moan at the way his fingers started pressing harder into your clit over your panties. "b-but, it's been- a while." you feel jake smile into your neck at your confession.

"that's okay, baby, we can go slow." you nod in response to him.

jake slips his fingers into your panties, his fingers meeting your core finally. you're so wet for him, his fingers easily running through your slit. he presses into your clit, circling it with his index finger slowly.

"it kills me that you think you aren't pretty." jake confesses now, biting softly on your neck. "i wish you could see how i see you."

"no one-" you suppress a moan again, "no one's ever called me pretty before-you."

jake starts to slip his index finger into your core, feeling your walls clench around it. "it's probably because you intimidate everyone with how pretty you are," you can hear the teasing tone in his voice, "you intimidated me when i first saw you."

he pushes another finger into your core, his fingers reaching deep inside you, feeling all your walls as he curls them upwards.

you almost snort at his confession, "you thought i was intimidating when i- i, bumped into you and my phone went a-across the floor?" your voice was becoming high-pitched when you spoke.

you felt jake shake his head at you, "no, i thought you were pretty when you walked into the convenience store with your messy hair and eye bags." he spoke between each suck and nip at your neck, surely leaving some marks for others to see.

"when- was that?"

"over a year ago." jake shrugs casually as if he isn't knuckles deep inside of you. "i've thought you were pretty for a while y/n, god you even feel pretty; you're so tight around my fingers."

"please," you moaned out, not sure what you were being so polite about as his thumb started rubbing your clit.

you groan and start rocking your hips against his fingers. his fingers start to pump faster in and out of you, creating a pleasant burn up in your stomach.

his thumb continues to rub along your clit, his other hand playing softly with your hair on the pillow. his lips continue to kiss down your neck, his lips circling your collarbones.

"oh god," your hand flies down and holds onto his wrist, your head tips bakfc, your eyes meeting jakes as he looks down at you with a smirk on his face. "i'm gonna cum, jake." his fingers on your clit start to speed up.

"go on, baby, cum all over my fingers, i've been wanting you to for so long." he confesses once again, leaning down and kissing you as your body starts to go rigid from your orgasm hitting. your eyes flutter shut as your grip on his hand tightens.

jake slowly eases his fingers out of you, not wanting to overstimulate you. you watch as he puts his soaked fingers into his mouth, humming at the taste of you. "fuck, just as good as i imagined."

"that's so embarrassing," you whine, taking his fingers out of his mouth.

"what is?" jake laughs, playing with the string of your sweatpants again.

"i didn't know you saw me at the convenience store for the first time." jake laughs into your neck, kissing it once more before pulling away from you.

"well you looked pretty so it doesn't matter." you roll your eyes at him before rolling over so you can face him.

his hand is still playing with your hair, relaxing you. you feel like you could fall asleep and stay asleep for a while with how content you are in that moment.

"what are you doing on christmas?" jake asks suddenly, making you sigh at the mention of the holiday.

"i'll probably be watching re-runs of the same shitty christmas movies downstairs."

"with who?"

"no one."

jake sits up at your words. "what do you mean, no one?"

you roll onto your back again to look up at his shocked expression. you feel embarrassed to explain to him about your mom's actions. jake knows the basic knowledge about your dad, small stuff that you've brought up in passing, but you never speak about your mom. "my mom's going to be in cuba on christmas, i mean, she's in cuba right now and won't be back for a week, so."

"cuba?" jake asks you, "why is she in cuba?"

"a work vacation."

"where are your brothers going to be?"

"they only really come by on christmas to see my mom, so now that she's not coming i most likely won't see them."

"well you're coming to my house on christmas then."

you sit up at his offer, facing him, "jake no, i can't! it's like a family holiday, i can't be there!"

"yes, you can and you will! jae and my dad love you anyway."

you sigh, "i'll think about it."

"great!' jake leans over and kisses you quickly- like it's becoming a habit already and it scares the both of you in the best way possible.

"what..." you start, a quesiton coming to your mind before you're pushing it away.

"what?' jake asks, nudging you, "just say it! we've been through this before, i can obviously tell that there's something you're thinking about."

you pause, trying to think of the proper way to say it before you're turning towards the smiling boy, "what about, your mom? you never mention her, so, i'm just... curious."

jake's smile drops at your question, clearly not expecting the sudden mention of his mother. he lays back down then, his back flat on your bed, as his head lands on one of your pillows. you lay down with him, turning on your side to watch him. you're about to apologize for bringing it up, ready to reprimand yourself for not staying out of other peoples' business.

"my mom died," jake pauses to think for second, "three years ago now."

your reach your hand over and grab his. you've seen jake in tired states, sad states and angry states, but never like this. he looks like he's about to burst into tears and never stop. "i'm sorry, j." is all you can say to him.

"it's okay, you didn't know."

"how did she pass?"

"in a car accident, some drunk driver- both of them died."

"god, i'm so sorry jake." jake grabs onto your hand tigher, looking at you with a solemn smile.

"it's okay, really. i'm glad you know now, i like telling you things, even if they are shitty like this."

you two fall into silence again, your room becoming peaceful again. you can hear the winter wind pick up outside as the late afternoon glow fades from your room. You try to think about jake as much as you can before sleep seeps into you, taking over you and jake as your calm breaths mix together and your hands hold you together.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jake wakes up beside you with a quick jolt. he hasn't woken up like this in a few weeks now. he can feel his heartbeat start to pick up, and his breaths become uneven. he wants to reach out to you and wake you up, tell you that he's panicking, but he doesn't- he can't.

he can't tell you that he's panicking because of you. his emotions are becoming too much for him that he can't be here anymore. he somehow barely manages to get off of your bed without waking you and slip out your front door.

he doesn't know what time it is, but he figures it's late with how quiet the busan neighbourhood is. there's a fresh layer of snow on the ground, and he can see his rigid breath in front of him in the air. his jacket his zipped up to his chin as he started to walk. he doesn't know exactly where he is walking until he's standing in front of lee heeseung's door and knocking.

heeseung opens the door with a tired-looking expression on his face- as if he had just woken up. his faded pink hair is standing up a bit as he looks at obviously panicked jake in front of him.

"dude, what's wrong?"

"can i come in?"

heeseung opens the door wider instantly, letting his friend in from the cold, winter night.

heeseung sits jake down in his bedroom. jake had been to heeseung's house multiple times before. he looked up to heeseung in a way he's never looked up to anyone before. he was the captain of the majority of the sports teams at their school, he's someone everyone can rely on, and jake's grateful he had someone like that at one point.

jake's sitting at heeseung's desk as heeseung is leaning against the wall on his bed. jake's looking around heeseung's room; it's been a while since he's been in heeseung's room. it looks different and cleaner, and there are pictures missing from the walls and books missing from the shelves. he notices the boxes packed on top of each other in one corner.

"i'm packing for college, i know we have some months left, but i want to get it out of the way," heeseung speaks quietly, noticing the way jake's staring at the brown boxes. jake can only nod at his friends' words, too much on his mind to try to make conversation. "so, are you gonna tell me why you showed up at my house at 11pm or are we just gonna keep sitting in silence?"

jake almost laughs at heeseung, the way he usually does, but he can't seem to make any noise or movement come out, "i've been talking to this girl."

"y/l/n y/n." jake jolts at how your name comes out of heeseung's mouth so instinctively. "what? everyone knows you're close with her now."

"right," jake nodded, remembering isa's standoff with you, chaerin and jay a month ago. "well, i fingered her."

heeseung scoffs and closes his eyes for a moment, trying to not laugh at the way his friend is obviously not thinking straight at the moment, "okay, and?"

"and then i told her my mom's dead.'"

"did you tell her that you're mom's dead before or after she came?"

"after." jake stated, "god, obviously after."

heeseung put his hands up in defence. "so then what?"

jake paused and thought about it for a moment, "and then i woke up not being able to breathe, and that's happened a few times before, but it's never happened because of y/n, and now i'm here because i didn't want to go home because then i'd think of my mom and i couldn't stay at y/n's because then i'd think of y/n." jake rambled on, heeseung only nodding along as he let his friend rant to him.

it was silent between the two teenage boys, heeseung trying to think of a way to help his friend while jake was thinking of you. heeseung and jake had been friends since year 9, both loving sports. it was obvious then that they had a lot in common when it came to almost everything, and it was obvious now how much they had slowly started to lose everything they had in common.

heeseung still loved playing sports and hoped to go professional once they graduated in a few months. everyone knew jake didn't want to do that- jake hated sports now and only continued on this year because he felt like he had to.

still, they had so many memories together that they remained friends, and heeseung wanted to help his friend at the very moment.

"so what's wrong with y/n that you panicked about her?"

"Nothing!" jake rushed out, clearing his throat before calmly continuing, "there's nothing wrong with her. i just- i don't- god hee! i don't know!" jake put his head in his hands. heeseung moved across his bed so that he was sitting closer to jake now.

"so, is there something just physical with you and her or is there, like, emotional stuff, too?" heeseung asked, trying to figure out why jake was being like this.

"it's, emotional. more emotional than physical- wait no! i guess there's an equal amount of them, but still i'd rather listen to her favourite songs with her and read to her and make her laugh than shove my dick down her throat. but i wanna do that with her too! but i'd take listening to her talk about her favourite songs than a blowjob. i think." jake rambled on again, heeseung really trying to focus and help rather than laugh his ass off at his friend's rambling.

"so," heeseung starts, trying to process jake's words and his response, "you... love her?"

"what?" jake gasps, looking up from the floor at his friend.

"shh," heeseung slaps jake's shoulder, "you're gonna wake up my parents. Be quiet!"

jake brushed his hair away from his face, "i- i don't know if i love her."

heeseung almost laughs at his friend again, "did you hear what you just said about her?"

jake thought about his rambled confession he just told heeseung, thinking about how he had described you.

"you love her, jake." heeseung repeated, noticing the look of realization slowly creep onto jake's face. "and you're panicking because you've never loved someone before; it's obvious, man."

"holy shit," jake sat back in his chair as he processes his feelings.

heeseung sighed out of relief, laying back onto his elbows on his bed, "great! now go tell her that! tell her everything you just told me!' heeseung pointed to his bedroom door, "well, maybe leave out the blowjob part- and the shoving your dick down her throat part."

"i can't go back!" jake yelled before getting slapped by heeseung again to be quiet.

"and why not?"

"because- because, i don't know! what if she doesn't love me?"

"well, then i guess you'll come running back here, so i'll keep my front door unlocked for you." jake turned and looked at his friend, that had a smug look on his face, "go!"

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

you had woken up maybe ten minutes after jake had left. you woke up to a cold bed, and an empty feeling started to grow in your chest. you sat up in your bed when you realized he wasn't in your room or your quiet house. the snow was picking up and covering your window, blocking the moonlight from entering your bedroom.

you brought your knees to your chest, playing with the bottoms of your sweatpants by your ankles. you weren't necessarily surprised that jake had left. he had sleeping problems of his own, and plus, you were used to everyone in your life leaving you.

it felt like he was just another one of those people again. of course, jake and you had gone through three weeks of not speaking before- but this time really hurt. at this point, you were aware of your feelings for jake. they weren't covered up in a friendship like the first time he had left you.

your feelings were clear to you- and maybe not (definitely not) to jake.

you sat your elbows up on your window sill, lighting a cigarette, trying to relax from the anxiety creeping up into your chest. you exhaled the smoke as you tried to find the perfect print of a snowflake on your window. you thought then that you would be spending christmas alone now after all.

it soon felt like you were going into a haze of sleep deprivation, anxiety and nicotine. the coldness seeping through your window is the only thing to comfort you and your mind into reality. you closed your eyes for a moment, resting your head on the window sill as the cigarette in your hand burnt out.

your thoughts were filled with jake and you. your imagined future crumbling down. your past together meant nothing to him as you thought about all the times you had shared your headphones, listened to him read and made each other laugh.

you seem to be reliving your past mentally, and you're stuck in it, trying to remember it all because, for a moment, it felt like that was the only thing you were going to have left with sim jake. your bedroom gets darker as the late night passes, the smell of smoke fading out from your room. and then you are woken up from the long dream you were living in for a moment, and you feel a tear slip down your cheek.

"y/n?"

it's his voice. it feels like you're still dreaming with the way it sounds. like you're memories, and sleep deprivation are playing a trick on you.

"y/n are you awake? i'm fucking cold."

and then he's silent again, the snow and wind outside being the only sound. his voice is coming from your bedroom door behind you.

when you speak again, your voice is softer than you remember.

"jake?" he doesn't answer. "jake, are you..."

"what're you doing?" his voice becomes clearer, and it becomes evident that he's right behind you and you aren't having some sick dream.

"say my name again, please?"

jake's quiet for a moment as he stares at your slumped-over body on your window sill, and then he carefully whispers to you, like he doesn't want to wake you after you have just fallen asleep,

"y/n."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - - -- -- -- -- --

jake crawled into bed with you afterwards, wrapping his arms around you from behind and pulling you down onto the bed with him carefully like you were going to break.

"where were you?" you ask, facing away from him as you let your body sink into his from behind you.

"i went to heeseung's for a second, i'm sorry. he kissed the back of your head, "i'm sorry i didn't mean to upset you." he kissed your head again, his arms tightening around you as if he was scared you were going to run away from him.

"i thought-" you tried to control your breathing, wiping away the tears falling down your face quietly, "i thought you had left me again- thought you weren't going to see me again."

"no no," jake shushed you, putting his head on your shoulder from behind, "i'm sorry, baby, i won't leave you again. i mean it."

"really?" you manage to ask out, your breathing coming back to a normal pace when you realize everything is okay still.

"yeah," jake states before pausing, "i love you."

and the words ring out into your quiet bedroom and ring around the walls until you're turning to look at him over your shoulder. he looks frightened but sure of himself at the same time. you can hear him harshly swallow as he looks at you, trying to figure out what you're thinking.

"you love me?"

"yes." jake quickly answers you, "a lot. and everything about you. and i've never loved someone before, but i know i love you. i don't want to be without you in this life- and i mean that." his grasp on you loosens as you turn to face him.

"i love you."

jake grabs your face, pulling your lips to his for the tenth time that day. both of you feel like you could never get tired of just kissing each other like this.

"fuck, i love you." jake grumbles out against your lips before kissing your again passionately.

"i've loved you for a long time, i don't think i've noticed until recently." you confess, pulling away from him. "i've never loved anyone before either, but i know i'll love you forever if you let me."

jake smiles at you, pulling you into kissing him once more. your hips instinctively grind into his, unable to stop the way he's making you feel at the moment. you've never felt so loved before by a single kiss.

your kiss turns into a loving and lustful one quickly. your hands running through his shaggy, brown hair that you've come to love.

"you don't know what you do to me, baby." jake mutters, his hand leaving your jaw and roaming down your side to rest on your hip.

you chuckle as your hands slide in between you two, going under his shirt and lifting it over his body. your eyes travel over his skin, loving how it looks and feels. so many pretty moles to memorize as you kiss his collarbones.

you roll over so that you are on top of him now. jake pulled you closer and started leaving wet kisses over the hickeys he had given you earlier. you couldn't stop the low moans leaving your lips as you started to grind down onto his bulge.

you both felt rushed but knew you had all the time in the world at that very moment. your hands started to travel down his stomach to where his sweatpants were loosened on his hips. he smiled against your skin.

jake's hands travelled underneath your hoodie, pulling it off to reveal your breasts. his hands instantly cupped them, tweaking your nipples as you arched your back into him.

"are you wet again for me, baby?" jake asks with a smirk. one of his hands slipped into your panties like he did earlier, this time more confidently as he knew your body enough already.

you bucked your hips in pleasure as he started to thumb quickly at your clit again. your body is still sensitive from earlier.

"j-jake." you whimpered out to him, arching your back.

you whined when he slipped his hands out of your panties.

"i want you to come on my dick this time, baby." jake explains to you, kissing you before flipping you over so that you are on your back. jake slides your sweatpants and panties off, and you hear his gasp as his eyes meet your fully bare body. he's almost unable to stop staring at you before you remind him to take off his pants.

you wrap your arms around his neck as you feel his hard cock start brushing against your wet entrance. you instantly let out a moan as he enters you. jake feels his eyes roll back at the feeling of your bare walls on his cock. he pushes deep inside of you, making both of you have laboured breathing already.

"you feel so good, jake."

"yeah, feels like i was fuckin' made for you." jake starts to thrust into you with a steady pace. his eyes never left you, wanting to see how you reacted to him fucking you.

"fuck!" you gasped once he hit a certain spot, your voice going into a higher pitch. you grasped onto his arm when jake started to fuck into your faster, hitting your newly found sweet spot every time.

you looked so pretty wrapped around his cock that he didn't know how much longer he could go with you tightening so well around him. he's thought about this for so long- he just wants to be as close to you as possible.

"jake." you moaned out his name. you clenched around him as his thumb started to circle your clit again. he started to thrust deeper and faster at the same time, allowing you to feel every inch of his cock.

"are you gonna cum for me, y/n?" jake moans out your name as well.

"y-yes! god, jake." you intertwined your hands with his, coming on his hard dick with a loud moan. jake couldn't hold back as he felt you soak his dick- his own cum releasing into you at the same time.

"f-fuck." jake groaned out into your skin.

both of your hairs' were messy as jake pulled out of you, watching the way his cum dripped out of you, leaking onto your bed.

he ran his fingers through his sweaty hair, a smile on his lips as he looked at your fucked out expression. "fuck, baby, you're so good. so pretty, too." his hand was still holding onto yours as you both looked down at your ruined legs.

"you're cleaning it up," you spoke out, your head falling back down onto your pillow- sleeping wanting to fill your body for the first time in months from pure exhaustion.

"of course, baby." jake smiled as he kissed your forehead, letting go of your hand to go to the bathroom to get a warm towel for you.

you felt jake clean you up and wipe your sheets before laying down beside you again, pulling your blanket up and over you before lacing your hands together- falling asleep in perfect contentment- knowing that when you both wake you'll be happy.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jake asked you to be his girlfriend a day later on christmas, not wanting you to feel alone on christmas ever again. he was right when he said his family loves you; they happily accepted you in with them on christmas day.

you seemingly fit in with not only his family but his rugby team members as well. officially meeting thee lee heeseung when you returned to school after winter vacation. they all seemed to love you- just like jake (and jay!) had said they would.

you and jake continued to spend your days alone in either his bedroom's, constantly finding new music to listen to together- creating new memories with all the songs. somedays, jake would make you tag along to a party with him, smoking out the window as he got shit-faced with his friends- happily knowing that you would walk him home and tuck him into bed with you afterwards.

you had always heard stories about not becoming friends with seniors when you were younger than them- and you quickly found out why you shouldn't when the last weeks of high school were approaching.

it was sad helping jake pack up all his things for college- he, like the rest of your friends, had gotten accepted to a college in seoul. you were happy for him! happier for him than he was happy for himself. he didn't want to go to college for kinesology, but he felt like that was the only thing going for him. he especially didn't want to go and leave you behind in busan.

on the day that he, jay, chaerin, sunghoon and heeseung had all planed to drive together to seoul, you presented jake with a gift.

it was a cd you had burned all your favourite songs on. because i couldn't tell you what my favourite one was, here's all of them :) - y/n

"fuck." jake said as he looked down at the cd, a warm but hurtful feeling playing along his chest before wrapping you up into a hug, "i'm gonna fucking miss you, baby."

"i'm gonna miss you."

"we're gonna call and text all the time! and i'll see you on christmas break!" jake reminded you and himself, pulling you into a passionate kiss before sunghoon honked the horn of their van to tell jake to hurry up.

"get in the car or be ditched forever!" sunghoon yelled out the window, "some of us haven't had our first love yet and want to get on the road to meet their first love!"

you laugh into jake's lips as you pull away from each other.

"i love you." jake says sadly, scanning your face quickly as if he's gonna forget it as soon as he turns around.

"i love you."

sunghoon honked the horn again, "come on!"

jake and you let go of each other's hands sadly, watching as jake got in the car, waving goodbye to them all as they drove off down the street- leaving you alone in god forbidden busan.

and you've always hated busan.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

your insomnia got worse than ever before when jake left. it was something you couldn't deal with anymore. you had to stop going to school in fear of hurting yourself accidentally by the lack of sleep you were having.

you had started tossing and turning in your twenty-minute sleep so much that you were waking up with bruises all over your legs and arms. you continuously had nightmares about jake- and how he's going to leave you.

the long-distance relationship worked between you and jake for the first few months. you celebrated your one-year anniversary together on christmas- buying each other matching headphones.

you continuously told each other that you loved each other- everyday over text. even if you hadn't spoken during the day, you could always count on him for texting you those three words.

you think now that, over time, you had lost the meaning of those three words with jake. you used them so much that both of you didn't even realize when you stopped loving each other.

you think you noticed it first on valentine's day after your one year anniversary. when it took jake all day to call you and say he loves you. jake got busy with school- and he got depressed about school. he told you a little bit about how he was feeling a first- how he hated the classes but needed this degree so he could get some sort of job.

after a while, it felt like neither of you knew anything about what was happening in the other's lives. you only knew the shell of the people you use to be and knew that you should say 'i love you' to each other.

your breakup happened not long after valentine's day- when he had forgotten your birthday. it had been a week or two since you had even spoken on the phone with each other- forgetting each other's voices at that point.

it felt like your heart was being ripped in half when the clock hit midnight for the next day to begin, your birthday finishes and not a single call or text from jake had appeared.

you waited three days for a frantic spree of texts to be sent, saying how he's sorry and that he loves you, he's sending you a present right now and so on.

you didn't respond to any of them.

he called and called for a week, finally giving up when you hadn't answered after the 100th time.

jake ❤️ : i'll get you out of busan y/n, i swear i'm sorry. i love you

you didn't answer that text either, and ended up blocking your first love.

when you graduated a few months after your first-ever breakup, you went to seoul for college. soobin helped pack up your things and sent you on your way by train. you could tell that soobin was a bit sad to see you go- but at least he'd have the house to himself for once.

it took three days before you saw someone you recognized on your school's campus; park chaerin.

you hadn't really spoken to her since jake, and you had broken up. over time, she had become more of jake's friend than your own.

"holy shit." chaerin said as she saw you standing in front of her in front of the school's fountain. she looked like she had seen a ghost. "y/n! what the hell are you doing here?" she wrapped you up into a hug; she tried to ignore the eye bags under your eyes and the awful paleness of your skin.

"i got accepted here, so, yeah." you sheepishly responded.

"holy shit." another voice spoke out behind chaerin, jay and heeseung stood there, their jaw almost on the floor when they saw you. they ran and hugged you as well- jay lifting you off the ground before placing you back down.

after a few minutes of catching up, you asked the question everyone knew was coming, "so uh, is jake, around?' you asked them, your hands shaking on your sides and you knew if jake saw you he'd know you were about to pass out from anxiousness.

"uh, no." chaerin spoke carefully, "he dropped out a few weeks ago."

"he said he was going to busan." heeseung added.

"busan? when?"

"three days ago."

"three days ago?!" you yell out, the noise from the fountain not making your voice too loud.

you groaned when you saw them all nod in agreement. you put your hand on your forehead with a sigh of frustration and anger filling your body.

of course, you had to leave cities at the same time.

-

jake knocked on your door three days before that day, anxiousness filling his body at the thought of seeing you again after seven months. he wondered the whole train ride back to his hometown how you would react when you saw him standing on your front porch. he thought maybe you'd punch him, yell at him, or simply not open the door.

he was not expecting a pissed off soobin to answer the door instead.

"what the fuck do you want?" soobin grunted out to him.

"uh, is y/n here?"

"nope." soobin said curtly, looking at jake as if he was ready to close the door on his face already.

"where is she?"

"seoul."

"seoul?! why?!"

soobin shrugged, "couldn't stand to be in busan anymore."

jake rubbed at his face in shock, not believing his luck.

"is there anything else you want to know?" soobin asked the younger boy. jake only shook his head no, "great."

soobin slammed the door in his face.

the last time you saw sim jake was four years ago. when he kissed you goodbye on new years and told you he'd see you that summer.

he did not see you that summer.

none of you had known where sim jake had gone after he left seoul. you had all figured he went to busan, but none of your friends that had stayed in your hometown had seen him.

you ended up staying in seoul for four years to finish up your music production degree at college. it had taken a lot from you, physically and mentally. your insomnia had gotten better over time, but you had started using your restless nights as a way to be productive and get your shit together instead of smoking your nights away.

during your years at college, you had stopped being friends with anyone you had been friends with in high school. you had all fallen out of touch with each other- none of you realize that the only person that kept you together was jake.

the last time you had seen park chaerin was across the cafeteria during your third year at college. she had grown out of her 'gothic' phase of dressing and makeup style, looking more mature instead. apparently, her and jay had stayed together- they graduated together, but you haven't seen them since then.

lee heeseung dropped out of college during his second year- only six months of his first year. he had a major opportunity to play football in america, so he took it in a heartbeat. he knocked on your dorm the night before and told you the news. he hugged you goodbye and wished you the best as he took a final look at those godforsaken purple bags under your eyes.

when you had finally graduated college- you were done with seoul as well. it felt like you just hated korea altogether- you didn't belong there- everybody and everything was the same.

you took the first job opportunity you got that wasn't in korea- but california. it was for a record label you hadn't heard of, but decided to take a chance on, maybe you could help the label a bit with your producer abilities.

it had been four years and seven months since you had seen sim jake- and you hadn't forgotten a single thing about him. he went through your mind several times a week- even when you knew he shouldn't be when you were in the middle of an exam.

it had been four years and seven months since you had seen your first love- and you were not expecting to see him on your first day at your first job in california.

sim jake still had his pretty smile and brown eyes. his shaggy brown hair was now shorter as it was slightly pushed back from his face.

you really thought you had lost your mind when you saw him- you thought that the sleep deprivation had finally caught up to you over all these years and had made you crack.

jake and you stood in front of each other down the front hall at the production company, staring in shock as you looked at one another.

"y/n?" jake asked you first, not believing himself as he said your name.

you nodded your head at him, "say my name again, please." needing to hear it again to know you weren't dreaming.

"y/n." a smile spread across your face at the sound of the familiar voice.

"you guys know each other?" the young assistant asked you both as she stood in front of you, ready to take you on a tour through the building.

"yeah." you both respond at the same time.

"oh, that's good then since you'll be working together a lot." she stated, causing you to give her a confused look, "he's the singer you'll be producing music for."

and now you're sat outside the recording booth, listening to your first love sing about you into the microphone- producing your first hit song that would only be the start of both of your careers.

a smile on your face knowing that you'll be able to sleep tonight since he'll be beside you, holding your hand.

@ taeghi, 2022. do not repost or reuse in anyway.

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY, AS LIKES MAKE IT HARD FOR WORK TO BE SPREAD AND ENJOYED BY OTHERS :)

stay safe everyone :)

[f1nalboys]

Hi 👋🏼, this is my first time requesting😅. I was wondering if you could write sidney x tatum x afab reader smut?

oh anon of COURSE i can do this <3333 i used fem pronouns a few times in this fic so im sorry if you wanted GN D: also i ended this at a kind of weird spot bc i was running out of steam but i might come back and revisit this to add stuff on

Tatum Riley x Fem!AFAB!Reader x Sidney Prescott

WORD COUNT: 3445

WARNINGS: nsfw, oral (afab receiving), threesome, thigh smacking, dirty talk, porno lol, sid and tate have bushes because im right, face riding, implication of more sex, not proofread

You’ve been close to Sidney and Tatum for a while now but this is the first time you were invited over for their weekend sleepover. It’s something they did every weekend; on Friday night Tatum would go over to Sidney’s house and they’d hang out, talking and laughing until the sun was rising, and then they’d curl up onto Sidney's bed and sleep.

When Tatum asked if you’d be up for it, you could feel your stomach do a flip. This wasn’t your first sleepover, obviously, but it was your first one with these two and you were so fucking nervous. “Yeah! Yeah, I’d love to!” You cringed internally at how excited you sounded but Tatum gave you a warm smile.

“Great! Meet me and Sid at the fountain after school tomorrow and I’ll drive us! We normally grab something to eat and a movie to watch before we head home.” You agree, watching her with a dazed look as she walks off. Tatum was hot. Sidney was hot. Both of them were so fucking hot and you were going to see them in their (hopefully) tight and short pajamas.

You try to forget about the upcoming sleepover but your thoughts keep drifting. Apparently, it was quite obvious to tell that your mind was somewhere else because when you were packing up your things at the end of class Stu is snapping his fingers in front of your face. “What? Why are you doing that?”

“What are you thinking about?” He has a stupid grin on his face, per usual, and you roll your eyes. “I heard you’re having a sleepover with the girls tomorrow,” He wiggles his eyebrows at you and you scoff but you can’t bite back the smile. He laughs, punching you on your shoulder. “Fuck yes! Listen, not to be a perv, but you gotta tell me what happens next time I see you.”

“I’ll be sure to do that, Stu.” Your voice is dripping with sarcasm and you walk off, leaving him to yell ‘You better!’ after you. That night you think of Sidney and Tatum. You don’t even know if they’re into each other like that; they could just be really close friends. But do close friends look at each other the way they do, let their touches linger like theirs?

And the way they act with you, surely that’s not completely platonic? You allow your eyes to flutter shut as you remember the time Sidney had been drinking and had hugged you, her head in the crook of your neck, pulling back to kiss you. She missed your lips, instead kissing your cheek, but when she pulled back it didn’t look like she was as drunk as she said she was the day after. “I can barely remember anything,” She had told you with a laugh. You didn’t mention it.

Your hand dipped below the waistband of your shorts, pushing your underwear to the side as you sigh. The pads of your fingers brush up and down your slit, ghosting over your clit, and you think about them.

You know you shouldn’t think about your friends like this, but you can’t help it. You think about Tatum's lips, Sidney’s soft hands, what they’d sound like when you fucked them.

Friday can’t come soon enough. All day you were antsy, watching the clock, unable to focus on anything else. When the last bell rang you practically sprinted to the fountain and you were out of breath when you arrived. Tatum and Sidney arrived shortly after, both of them hugging you hello. “You got here quick! I thought your class was on the other side of the school.” Sidney says as the three of you walk to Tatum's beetle.

“I got out early, had to use the bathroom and just decided to head down here,” You lie, hoping it was convincing enough. You get into the backseat and Tatum drives you to the video store.

“What are you in the mood for?” She looks at you through the rearview mirror and you shrug, looking out the window. “C’mon, it’s your first time with us! You have to choose,” She says with a grin.

“Fine. Maybe something scary? Classic sleepover shit, right?” Her and Sidney agree and all the way to the store and back home you occasionally join in on the small talk. It was obvious to the two that you were nervous, if not a little awkward, and they did everything they could to calm your nerves.

Sidney ordered the pizza while you and Tatum set her room up. “Me and Sid normally sleep in the bed together, there’s plenty of room for you too,” She flushes, tossing another pillow onto the bed. “I mean, if you’re cool with that. I could set you up in the guest room if not.”

“No, it’s cool!” You reply quickly and she smiles at you. For a second you think you see her eyes dart down to your chest but that was clearly in your imagination. By the time the pizza arrives you and Tatum had just finished setting the room up.

There were blankets and pillows on the bed, a soft lamp light to fill the dimmed room, and the tv on with the movie paused. The three of you got into bed, you in the middle of them both, and started the movie. It was a classic slasher; a big breasted girl who can’t act running away from a killer, ignoring the front door.

“This is my favorite part!” Tatum says and you watch as the girl whose name you can't remember runs up the stairs, the killer grabbing her by her hair just before she can run into a room. You wait for the knife to sink into her chest, her scream of terror being cut short, but it doesn’t come. Instead, the killer drags the knife down her chest slowly, reaching the waistband of her shorts which you’re just now realizing is extremely thin..

“Tatum, is this porn?” Sidney asks, her voice light, like this was a normal thing for her to do. Tatum laughs, laying back against the pillows. Your eyes are stuck on the screen. The girl's shirt had been cut, her chest bare and the killer was working on her shorts. She wasn’t fighting back. Instead, her hips were bucking into his touch.

You can feel a breath on the back of your neck and you shiver, turning to see Tatum. She had moved closer to you, her arm wrapping around you and rubbing your arm. “It sure is, and it seems like our dear friend Y/N is really into it.” A shock noise leaves your mouth but you can’t disagree. You were into it. Of course, it’s not something you’d watch normally, but seeing the way the girl’s body moved each time the killer's fingers slid over her nipples, hearing the soft noises she made. It was almost too much.

Sidney looks at you and you find it hard to meet her eyes but you do. She has a small grin on her face. “Y/N, are you horny?”

“What?” Your eyes widen at the question, your face burning. Both her and Tatum laugh and you feel like you’re suffocating. Tatum is so close to you, her fingers grazing your skin and raising goosebumps, and Sidney is sitting close enough for her face to be just in front of your own. “No, no I-I’m not. It just took me by surprise, that’s all.”

“So if I reached my hand down your pants you wouldn’t be wet?” Tatum laughs at this, placing her chin on your shoulder. You stutter; what the fuck was happening? “Because I can practically smell you. Have since we got in the car. And if I didn’t know any better,” Sidney leans in closer, wetting her bottom lip with her tongue. “I’d think you were into us.”

Silence. The movie is still playing, the girls moans loud, the sound of the killer grunting as he fucks her almost too much to bear. “Maybe… just a little bit,” You whisper. You were still staring at Sidney and her smile widened at this. “Are you?”

“Are we into you?” She looks at Tatum and her face softens. “Of course we are. We wouldn’t have invited you here if we weren’t. Now,” Her eyes dart down to your lips and you take in a slow, shaky breath. “Can we kiss you?”

A nod of your head has her leaning in and the second her lips touch yours you’re melting. There’s no way this is really happening; just last night you had thought about this, about what it would feel like to be with them, and now it was coming true. Sidney bites at your bottom lip as she pulls away and you let out a small whimper.

Her brown eyes darken and she's kissing you again, harder, her hand resting on your throat. Tatum hasn’t said a word but her hand hasn’t stopped moving, abandoning your arm in favor of your hips. “Y’know, me and Sid, we talked about this before,” She whispers into your ear, placing a small kiss on your neck.

You groan into the kiss, tilting your neck to give her better access. “What… what did you guys talk about?” You ask, pulling away from Sidney's lips. A string of spit connects you both and Sidney breaks the string, grinning at you, her eyes darting between you and Tatum.

“You wanna hear all the dirty details, is that it?”

Nodding your head, Tatum bites at your throat and you yelp, both in pain and pleasure. Her tongue swipes over the blooming bruise, soothing it. “Tell ‘em, Sid. I’m sure they’re dying to know.”

“When we first met you, we thought you were so fucking beautiful.” Tatum, her lips still on your throat, glides her hand down your leg, pushing your thighs apart. Sidney slots herself in between you, keeping them open as Tatum pushes her hand into your shorts. “That Friday night, we touched each other, talked about what your cunt might taste like.”

Her words have you breathless and you collapse into Tatum when her fingers press against your clit. “Fuck!” Tatum giggles into your neck, pressing down harder, circling your clit before pressing her fingers inside you slowly.

“Just last week, actually, I had Tate bent over right where you’re sitting, fucking her as hard as I could. Even left bruises, but the whole time we were talking about how if you were here, she’d have her face buried in that pretty pussy of yours.”

“Please,” You whimper. Sidney’s words were affecting you almost as much as Tatum’s fingers, which were pumping into you lazily. It felt good, so fucking good, but you needed more.

“Please what?” Tatum asks, her hand stalling and for a second you panic thinking that she’ll stop, that she and Sidney will laugh at you, telling you this was just a prank, that you were a perverted freak for even thinking that they’d actually be into you.

Sidney repeats the question, her voice mocking, and you swallow hard. You never, ever, would have expected this kind of talk from Sidney. She was sweet, bordering on shy, but here, now? She had a dark look on her face and a smile with no humor behind it. “Please touch me…”

“Aww, you hear that Tate,” Sidney coos, grabbing ahold of your shorts and underwear and pulling them down quickly. You were bared for both girls now and Sidney’s gaze rakes down your body, muttering a curse at the sight. You were wet, your slick dripping down your thighs and ass, a small wet spot appearing on the bedsheets under you. “She wants us to touch her.”

“So sweet.” Tatum says, grinning at Sidney. Sidney drags a finger down your thigh, avoiding your cunt purposely. You whine, moving your hips a tiny bit only to let out a yelp when Sidney gives you a harsh slap onto your thigh. “I don’t think she wants you to move, pretty girl,” Tatum remarks, kissing your shoulder.

You nod, taking a deep breath. Patience is a virtue after all. Sidney resumes her movements, eyeing you intently; any movement and you’d get another smack to your already marked thigh. “You alright with this?” She asks you finally and you can see a flash of worry in her eyes. “If anything makes you uncomfortable, you say the word and I stop, alright?”

“So sweet,” You say, parroting Tatums words from just a moment ago and Sidney snorts, elbowing your knee gently. “I promise I’m alright. This is…so hot,” You grin. “Like, I literally came to the thought of this happening last night.”

“That so?” The dark look is back on Sidneys face. “Tell us. I wanna hear everything that dirty little mind thought of, and if I like it enough, maybe I’ll be as kind as to turn that into a reality. Sound good?”

You give a hesitant nod, feeling your face heat up. This was not part of your dream, that’s for sure; all the things you wanted to happen just did, no communication necessary, but it was obvious Sidney and Tatum wanted to hear you as a way to embarrass you. It shouldn’t get you as wet as it does.

“Well… it started off like this, kind of, but instead of it being me, Tatum was getting teased.” Tatum lets out a fake scoff but you can hear the smile in it. “We made her cum god knows how many times and then it was your turn.

“I got to eat you out while Tate rode your face and fuck it was hot. You taste so good, I just know it.”

“She does,” Tatum says and suddenly she's grabbing ahold of your hair and pulling your back closer to her chest and then Sidney has her ass in the air while she bends over, her mouth on your pussy. Tatums hand wraps over your mouth as you moan, cooing into your ear about how beautiful you look like this.

Sidney’s tongue is moving quickly and expertly, her fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs. Your clit is her main focus and she switches between swirling the tip of her tongue over it and sucking it into her mouth. Your muffled moans only urge her on and she adds a finger, humming as it slides in easily.

“You’re doing so well baby,” Sidney says, pulling away from your cunt for just a second before diving back in. “Fuck, you’re tight,” She mutters, slipping in another finger. Your hips buck when she scissors them inside you and Tatum sucks in a sharp breath.

At their last sleepover, she and Sidney had imagined what kind of noises you’d make with one of their tongues buried inside you and here she was, witnessing it. It was fucking angelic. She was soaked watching this and grabs ahold of one of your hands, pulling it back to put inside her underwear. She wanted - no, needed - you to touch her.

You try your best to touch her, your movements sloppy and inexperienced, but she’s moaning into your ear and grinding down onto your palm and it makes Sidney's mouth feel that much better. There's no warning before you cum, the coil that was winding in your stomach suddenly snapping more intensely than it ever has before.

Tatum moves her hand away from your mouth as you cum, your moans of both their names etching into her brain like a prayer. Your hand never stops moving as Sidney fucks you through it and suddenly Tatum is cumming too. She’s grabbing your hand and pushing down hard against her clit, cursing loudly.

“God, you’re both so fucking hot,” Sidney says, sitting up now, her face and fingers covered in your juices. She leans in and Tatum grabs the back of her head, pulling her in for a kiss, sloppy and heated and beautiful. “C’mon, turn over. I need to fuck you,”

“I haven’t even gotten a taste yet, Sid,” Tatum pouts and you can feel your face burning at this; they were fighting over who got to use you next. “Plus, I’m sure she wants your cunt in her mouth already. That was a part of her fantasy, remember?”

Sidney considers this for a second, eyes darting between you two before sighing. “Fine, only because I’ll have plenty of time to do the things I want to do to both of you.” Tatum nudges you and you move down the bed, leaning back with a single pillow under your head. You watch as both Tatum and Sidney strip and you let out a small groan at the sight.

Neither of them were wearing bras. They were taking each other's clothes off and Tatum dropped to the floor as she pulled Sidney's thong down, breathing in her scent. “God, I could be down here all day babe, you know that?”

“Yeah, you say that every time you get to eat me out,” Sidney teases though she lets her head roll back and a sigh escapes when Tatum’s finger slides down her slit. “C’mon, I’m antsy,” She says finally, helping Tatum off the floor before kissing her. “Plus, we’re leaving Y/N out.”

“Trust me, I could watch that all day.”

“We have plenty of sleepovers coming up so don’t you worry about that, sweetheart.” Tatum says, taking her own underwear off. You sit up and pull your own shirt off now; you didn’t want to be the only one with your tits covered. “God you’re so sexy.” She says, crawling onto the bed and positioning herself between your legs.

Sidney walks over to the side of the bed, leaning over and kissing you. You can taste yourself on her tongue. She swings her leg over your body, scooting forwards slightly and positioning her cunt right above you. You can’t help but run your hands over her body, starting at her back and running down, your nails digging into her skin just a bit.

Your hips buck when Tatum buries her face in your cunt and then Sidney is grabbing ahold of your hair and holding you still as she grinds down onto your face. She tastes even better than you could’ve dreamt. “Fuck, your tongue,” She moans, her thighs squeezing around your head. You wanted to suffocate here, the taste of her on your tongue.

Tatum is still eating you out and her tongue was fucking magical, dipping inside you and pressing against the spongy walls like it was made for it, like she knew exactly what to do to get the response she wanted from you.

“Fuck! God, you’re so fucking good at this,” Sidney says, grinding down against you again. Your nose was bumping against her clit, your tongue mimicking Tatum's. “I’m so fucking close, wanna cum in your mouth so bad baby, please,”

She didn’t have to ask; you were desperate for her to. You weren’t sure how you had survived this long without having her cunt on your face in all honesty.

Tatum hums against you, her hands in between her own legs, her hips grinding down against her palm. “Close,” You get out, somehow, lightheaded beyond belief, but there was no fucking way you were going to stop eating Sidney out.

You cum just before Sidney, your body twitching and your eyes squeezed shut. Tatum hadn’t even used her fingers on you and it felt like she had used three of them and a vibrator on you. When Sidney cums it’s with a loud whine, low in her throat, and she’s still grinding down onto your face roughly.

Your nose brushes against the tangle of hair on her, something both she and Tatum shared, and she finally moves, collapsing beside you with a huff. Her hair was sticking to her forehead, her cheeks bright pink and her chest heaving.

Tatum is still between your legs, her head in her hand and a sly grin. “So? Is it everything you’ve dreamed of, Y/N?”

“So much better.” You sit up onto your elbows, staring down at Tatum. “Though I do want to taste you.”

Let’s switch places then,” She says, biting at her bottom lip. Sidney was watching you both intently, her pupils dilated. As you and Tatum switch spots, Sidney reaches into her bed side table drawer, searching for her strap. It was a decent sized one with ridges that felt fucking godly when you were being pounded into the mattress.

“You ready to live out another one of your perverted little fantasies?”

[astrosweet]

🔱✨Makeup in astrology✨🔱

                                                       Part 2

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆. Neptune through the houses  .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆

☆Neptune represents your flashy or showier side its the planet of illusions and rules over makeup, glamour, fashion, theatre, films, T.V. ( Neptune is like Venus minus relationships and romance).

☆Your Neptune placements/aspects can tell you about your makeup style and what will suit you best.

🔱 Neptune in the 6th house could be sensitive/allergic to makeup or it could break you out or you already use clean natural makeup. I would say try to take a break from it for about three days to see if it is affecting your skin but the 6th house is also the house of daily life so you wear it every day either because you like to or you have to wear a specific makeup look for work. your pet always watches you do your makeup. you probably do your makeup in a weird order like mascara first then foundation after that eyeshadow/liner or have a different approach to your makeup every day, but you do it so fast and probably without a mirror because the routine is branded in your brain. the 6th house is ruled by Virgo/ mercury so similar to the 3rd house the innocent and doe-eyed looks are gorgeous on you. also try to do something different with your makeup every day. a daily routine of artistic self-expression is important for you.

🔱 Neptune in the 7th house (this one was hard ngl. it's literally the opposite of self and individuality). People will admire your makeup. It's something you bonder with friends. your significant other can also love how you do your makeup. similar to the 1st house people can give you a lot of shit for your makeup or will use it as a quick jab to your ego but it's really because they're jealous of your beauty. the 2nd & 7th are ruled by Venus but the 7th/Libra energy is much more showy, masculine, and dramatized glamor compared to 2nd/Taurus which is more of sweet feminine glamour. this placement kinda reminds me of New Year's makeup lol but really glamorous and extravagant yet you still want some classiness compared to just a normal party look. gold looks great on you and as well as bronzy contour.

🔱 Neptune in the 8th house. I have this placement so I'm gonna try to not project myself onto this one. but tell me why we all had an fx/gore makeup phase lol. your makeup is bought by someone else or just not with your money. you could also get makeup from other people like the stuff they never used. when you go through transformations you change the way you do your makeup. your makeup is dark even if you didn't mean for it to be. mascara will always smudge and look like you used lower eyeliner so might as well just add some lower line eyeshadow anyways. darker makeup looks best on you but if you are not comfortable with the dark looks just add a little brown (I just use my bronzer) as eyeliner. just a little flick on the end and maybe some on the lower lash line. overall this placement gives me maleficent vibes. you can get Inspo from people who are sex symbols or exude dominant femme fatale energy. Neptune in the 8th house can be really secretive with their creativeness and self-expression and a lesson you have to learn this life is to claim your power and natural creative talents and learn to show them to the world. we naturally have bad bitch, femme fatale energy so embrace it bb ;). you have the power to manifest creative abilities if you want.

🔱 Neptune in the 9th house you could be into culturally different kinds of makeup like Korean makeup, or French makeup, also you could be into cosplay or specific aesthetics like dark academia, and cottage core. you might have lived in a strict household and you were not been allowed to wear makeup. or it's just something that didn't interest you till you got older. as you get older you get better at doing your makeup and if you are good at it and like a specific niche the best look for you is bronzy and sun-kissed. you could be into different makeup aesthetics from different countries and generally like to be adventurous with your makeup.

🔱 Neptune in the 10th house. you could have gotten public praise for your makeup or for being creative. Creative careers are generally best for you. you also could have been told that you need to wear makeup in public or at work. your father(or if you have a dominant mother) could have also been kinda an ass about you and makeup. if you're not into makeup now and you are young you might learn how to do it because it will be an expectation in your career when you're older. bronzy looks and heavy contour can look good on you as well as dramatic but neutrals in more of a glamour way.

🔱  Neptune in the 11th house. you probably learned to do makeup through YouTube and friends. I know you have a makeup inspo Pinterest board with a thousand pins in it. makeup can be a creative outlet for you. a common interest you have with your friends is makeup and beauty gurus.. this placement also gives me euphoria vibezz. y'all can pull off crazy wild looks. the 11th house is ruled by Aquarius which reminds me of blue/greens and glitter lol. also pale regal-like skin and soft features. post ur looks on TikTok/ YouTube/insta you have luck with publishing ur art and posting it can be a service to people by inspiring them and teaching people

🔱  Neptune in the 12th house. I love this energy Pisces rules both Neptune and the 12th house. though this placement does kinda remind me of Neptune in the 8th where you keep your talents and creative abilities a secret. you can get inspiration from your dreams. or your dream of being showier with your talents. a big lesson for you in this lifetime is understanding and showing your hidden talents as well as overcoming the fear of judgment towards your creative abilities. you're amazing at drunk makeup. if Pisces is dominant in ur chart then you won't be as shy with your skills. light blush on ur cheekbones will look amazing on you also white liner in your waterline. and reddish-pink lips but not overdramatic. similar to the 8th you have the power to manifest creative abilities if you want.

Sorry this one took a while I posted part 1 on my birthday and we all know a Leo birthday is not just one day it's a Multi-day event lol.

this one was kind of hard to write bc my birth chart is very left side dominate. part 1 was more intuitive and natural for me to write but for part 2 I had to do a lot more research which my Gemini north node loved. so let me know if you resonate :)

[demonicxrocker]

current inbox status: anon + non-anon requests are on. feel free to request stuff, just don't be a fucking cunt ty

current number of request(s) in inbox: 9

last updated: oct 30, 2024

hey hey— the name's mod corey. they/them pronouns, very aroace, and local edit maker

main blog is @coreys-riffin . im also mod blaze in the @pr0ject-chaos group editing acc as well

top and bottom graphics are made by me— headers are linked here and here

please stop asking me why i don't like spam-liking or spam-reblogs, i swear to god. /srs

[more info is under the cut :thumbs up grinning emoji lol:]

🔥 || content

icons

pride icons

reply icons

gif icons

matching icons

playlists

care kits/clothing kits (is that what they're called?)

stimboards

moodboards

wallpapers (very selective bc it's been a bit)

layouts

name sets

pronoun sets (selective xp)

color picked pride flags

transparents (will be posted onto my transparents account and reblogged here)

probably more things im not thinking about atm tbh lol

🎸 || sources

(favorites are in bold)

canadian cartoons (grojband, looped, yin yang yo, camp lakebottom are the ones that pop up in my head first, but im down for editing almost all of them)

sonic (somewhat selective since im not that heavily into the franchise)

pokemon + pokemon media (ie the starters series by movieunleashers, etc)

any generation of my little pony, littlest pet shop, strawberry shortcake, care bears

any show that aired on qubo in it's lifetime (ie. pecola, sitting ducks, babar, sandra the fairytale detective, sally bollywood, etc etc)

disney animated shows (amphibia, gravity falls, wander over yander, the owl house, etc) (semi-selective)

SOME nickelodeon animated shows/nicktoons (making fiends, danny phantom, fairly oddparents, my life as a teenage robot, etc etc)

rise of the tmnt (friends/mutuals can request other tmnt series)

cookie run (ovenbreak + other games, mainly. will do kingdom but it's VERY fucking selective)

super phantom cat games, spoon pets / neko atsume, postknight 1 + 2, etc (mobile games, basically)

super cat bros / super cat tales games

browser games like heart star, double panda, and etc. their mobile game counterparts are allowed too

cartoon network shows (adventure time, regular show, over the garden wall, etc etc) (semi-selective)

lego shows (ninjago, monkie kid, nexo knights, etc etc) (selective)

sanrio (aggrestuko included)

little witch academia. and also any of the monster collecting animes (digimon, bakugan, yugioh, yokai watch, etc)

minecraft, minecraft story mode, and mcyt in general (hermitcraft, last life series, empires, etc etc.)

dude, that's my ghost!

webshows (group 5, dick figures, happy tree friends, bravest warriors, jumpcut!, and etc) (semi-selective)

webcomics (ie. sparklecare, ghost eyes, it hurts, serendipity, deathsitter, etc etc) (semi-selective)

🧨 || unfamiliar sources but will still edit for

pretty much anything, to be honest. just make sure i haven't said outright that i won't do it. ocs also fall into this category most of the time

💢 || sources i absolutely WILL NOT edit for

any horror media (creepypastas, horror games, horror series, horror args.. you get the idea)

anime in general lol

irl people in general (this also includes youtubers + vtubers)

total drama series, 6teen, and clone high

anything too problematic (if you have to ask yourself if it is or not, then that means it probably counts)

anything else, just ask me atp. a lot of things have changed over the years— and also i can't be asked to add all of em

⛓️ | blacklist / general things i will not edit for

weirdcore, traumacore, "sanriocore" (*actual* sanriocore is fine, im talking about the kind that's essentially just traumacore but with sanrio characters whatnot)

fetish-y type shit (i am NOT explaining this one.)

laney + corney (grojband character n grojband ship)

ectofeature

lloyd, harumi, or garmadon (ninjago characters)

lloyd x anyone ships

extreme body horror / gore

agere, babycore, angelcore— stuff like that (not against it by any means but it's just not my personal thing tbh)

[s4turns-r1ngs]

Hello Hello!!

I just wanted to say o love your Bench trio fics! They’re amazing!

I was also wondering if you could do The bench trio X Gn! Hybrid Reader! Where the reader is a Fox hybrid!

The reader likes to play tricks/pranks on people! Especially the Dream Team! And while setting up a prank, the bench trio sees them and asks why they’re doing! The reader tells them and Tommy and Tubbo ask if they can join! Dragging Ranboo into it!

After that they hang out a lot and pull pranks in people! The reader also stealing from The Dream Team and Techno sometimes!

A little thing you can add if you want is that the reader gifts a lot of gifts to their friends! Tommy keeps all the little gifts in a secret chest! Tubbo keeps them in a separate room on his house! And Ranboo writes the things you give him on his memory book and puts them in his ender chest so he never looses them!

ALSO!! The reader would sometimes kidnap Micheal to spend the entire day with him! Spoiling him to no end with Toys, clothes, food, etc! You dont have to add this tho!!

Take care! <33

DSMP - Sneaky

Summary: As a fox hybrid, it was only a matter of time before you pulled Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo into your plans. (Also bonus Michael content because Michael Is Beloved. <3)

Pronouns: they/them

Warnings: Swearing, General Chaos (its the bench trio, are you surprised), consensual kidnapping

-> [a/n] - oh my god??? thank you???? you're so nice?????? sldfjlskdjfsldjfslkfjl,, i hope this is good! also first part is in third person pov, because i need to get better at writing that lol. readers dialougue is blue :]

-> p!c!benchtrio (and michael too <3) + reader, the beginning has a little p!bbh + reader too :]

> divider that i can't add bc im not on mobile. sadge <

[y/n] smiled mischievously as they rounded the corner, making sure that the unsuspecting victim (which at the moment, is badboyhalo) couldn't see them. they wanted to make sure that their trick worked, so that they could possibly use it on someone else later. of course, they would apologize to bad, because they still value him as a friend, but even friends play pranks on each other every now and again.

their ears perked up as they heard talking from around the corner they just turned. peaking their head around, [y/n] was greeted with some of their closest friends: tommy, tubbo, and ranboo.

"oh, hey guys!" they greeted, with a small wave as they repositioned themself so that they could talk to their friends, and watch bad at the same time.

ranboo smiled. "hey [y/n]!"

tommy and tubbo ran up to them, a wide smile on the latter's face, while tommy just looks like he doesn't want to be here. (obviously he does, but he's tommy. it's not really surprising at this point.) either way, he mutters out a "hello" with a smile he seems to be repressing.

tubbo looks around the corner. "so what are you doing?"

"oh!" [y/n] exclaims, tail swishing ever so slightly faster. "oh! i'm just testing out a new...'trick'!"

ranboo raises an eyebrow in suspicion. "a...'trick'? what are you-"

the fox hybrid holds up a finger, moving their body so that they were hidden around the corner. "shhh. it's about to happen!"

the trio watches [y/n]'s eyes light up as the demon, once dry, is covered in water. they all hear him shout and see him look around, as if to try and catch the culprit. bad glances over at the corner just in time to see [y/n] duck behind it.

"[y/n]!"

"shit." they turn towards the three, and with another smile they stand properly. "sorry guys, gotta blast! nice seeing you, though!"

they hear tommy let out his signature laugh as they run, a nine and a half foot tall demon chasing after you.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

giving gifts! (hcs bc yes)

tubbo:

-> ngl you probably woke him up in the middle of the night bc you found something cool. or made something cool. either or.

-> he will take it regaurdless of whether or not he's tired as shit or wide awake. free stuff from fox friend? cool. give.

-> he probably has a shelf in his house with all your little gifts on it.

-> he may not say it immediately most of the time (bc you DID wake him up at like two in the morning) but he is greatfull for all of your gifts :]

tommy:

-> bro i hc that this fucker LOVES shiny shit

-> (i mean, so do i but that's besides the point)

-> n e ways

-> you give him a shiny rock? here. have a cool stick in return.

-> raccoons are crazy man. he (like you) has a collection of tiny little things too. sometimes you trade. bc that's friendship <3

-> it doesn't matter when, bc he will always be awake when you want to give him something. he will 9 times out of 10 give you soethibg in return

-> if you wear jewelry, then he probably gave it to you :]

ranboo:

-> for some reason, he's also always awake whenever you give him gifts.

-> and he, like tubbo, aslo has a set place to put all of your gifts

-> he even writes about it down in his memory book so he doesn't forget about it <3

-> ranboo thinks all the little rocks you find and decide to give him are vv cool.

-> you: hey ranboo!! look at this cool rock i found!!

-> ranboo: that is so very cool and/or poggers can i please have it

-> another shiny stuff lover <3

-> bc i hc that mr. boo's chaarcter wears earrings and stuff, he decides to take one of the cool rocks you gave him and turn it into one!

-> you point it out and he just smiles and says: ye i know :) i did it bc your cool :)

-> and then you just die from embaressment bc who wouldn't if that happened

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

bonus michael thing bc i actually really like that idea:

you lift yourself a little further on the roof and knock on the window, opening it not long after.

"michael!" you whisper-shout. "michael! are you there?"

a small little zombie piglin pops his face into your view.

"hey, buddy! come here!"

he waddles closer to the window, chicken plushie in hand. a little snort makes it out of his mouth when he stops.

placing your arms on the window sill, you begin speaking. "alright, so i have a plan. do you wanna go out for a bit?"

the piglin nods his head eagerly.

you smile. "alright cool. i just need you to climb out this window and then we'll go."

michael looks at you wearily, clutching his plush a little tighter.

"don't worry, mike. it'll be fine. i'll catch you if you fall." you tell him reassuringly.

your ears twitch, picking up some noise from downstairs.

he walks over slowly, still holding onto his plush. carefully, he climbs out the window. picking him up, you slide a note into the room, shut the window, and slide down the roof, landing on the ground without a problem.

you hear a door open from inside and begin walking away, michael squealing excitedly in your arms. it's not long before you hear someone open the window. with a smile, you turn around and wave.

"[y/n]! what the-"

tubbo cuts him off. "-fuck!"

"don't worry guys i'll make sure to bring him back!"

"oh thank god-"

"eventually!"

"[y/n]!"

you mock a salute. "see you later guys!"

and then you run off.

[wokestraightpuffy]

Hallo, i hope you are alright and that my ask aren’t annoying but I wanted to ask do you have any c!puffy headcannons? —🤡

YOURE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL !!! NEVER THINK THAT ILU VERY MUCH. MUAH /p

as for c!puffy headcanons, i am not the best person to ever organize their thoughts properly but ill try my best >:’D

ahaha. this got. super complex and way too long and more of like an introspective study to puffy now instead of harmless fun headcanons so, uh. under read more <3 (also reminder this is all /rp and /dsmp)

* i like to think that she has a hero complex, but its a bit different since she never really sees herself as an ‘important’ part of the story, not the main character but a support one, hence ‘im fine with being the side character’ or how she’s said she doesnt care what happens to her and would gladly sacrifice(?) herself if there werent other people she had to protect. girl u need therapy urself <3

* though very open with how she feels and never afraid to say when someone/something is upsetting her, ‘opening up’ is still a whole mountain climb for her, apparently. like, she’d rant about the egg, get mad at the eggpire, let off some steam by committing arson or exploding stuff, she’ll rarely ever talk about how much the stuff that upset her actually HURT her. does that make sense? LIKE, she’ll lash out, she’ll get mad, she’ll take NO SHIT thrown at her face, but to show the kinda vulnerability of dealing with that? to cry about it talk about those feelings with someone? I think she’d rather eat her own foot lol

* adding onto the thing above, she doesnt necessarily actually realize this about herself. less of actively doing it and rather growing... used to the ‘cycle of violence’ in the smp as they call it. and the fact that rarely have people really asked, that no one’s actually available for that, w her losing her closest friends, bad and ant, sam being busy w the warden stuff... and niki. yeah. there’s foolish, but i doubt she’d ever see venting to someone she considers her son appealing

* also. puffy is just sometimes... really bad at conveying sadness. i think she’s a rare crier. id go as far to say that shes even more emotionally constipated than dream, lol (but maybe not while the guy’s in his prison arc) and that she’d be the type of person to tell you its okay to cry but beat herself up over something if she let a tear slip in a heated moment

* speaking of sadness. she’ll only ever actually Be Sad if she’s alone or with someone she doesnt necessarily care the opinions of. yknow how she mourned for tommy and blamed herself? those dialogue bits? yeah, those are only times shed actually be vulnerable

* puffy’s go to response to the egg and how its fucked up her relationship w her friends is pure fury. but, going off of her line about ‘failing bad and ant’ i like to think that she probably hates herself the most about it. THAT IS A STRONG WORD LOL BUT YEAH. she yells and curses and gets mad, but sometimes i wonder if the words she had spat before were more directed to herself

* THIS GIRL HAS SELF-IDENTITY PROBLEMS. CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR THAT CHAT? outside of having no goddamn clue about where she came from, how she got here and who she even is, scrounging up a role for herself in a server with a war on the background and traumatized kids got her resignedly coerced into thinking that she is only a Parent. Only good enough when she’s actually doing something Useful for people. SO. when she finds that ship? of having a crew and having a curse? OF FINDING OUT SHE MIGHT HAVE/ HAVE HAD A MOM THATS WAITING FOR HER?  the sense of control she has on herself is absolutely crushed. shattered, and she’s left to pick up the pieces w no one to talk abt it with <3

* adding onto the above, it’s why the line ‘I’m supposed to be mama puffy. me.’ hurts me so much! so yes! please cry with me :D

* also to add more on the fact that she thinks she’s only worth something when she’s being useful, puffy literally contemplated leaving the server, thinking that it wouldnt matter leaving since no one really needs her anyway, since she’s failed so many people. bad and ant, tommy, dream. shes said how foolish can take care of himself on how tubbo and ranboo have each other, how she and niki have drifted so far away from each that it might as well be a break up.

HOOOOOOOOOO OBOY . anon youve really given me the perfect chance to ramble huh? sorry for the rather incomprehensible brainrot, here’s more lighthearted headcanons about puffy asdhfkd

* she cannot stand still sometimes. she always has to be doing something extra, walking when the prime path is right there? shed rather go through tedious little holes or hop and balance onto fences to get where shes going. she’ll mindlessly fix up the path when there are holes or mismatched wood, and one time went on a long, long LONG journey cleaning up the paths tommy purposely DESTROYED near lmanburg and even added cobblestone sidings which werent there before

* puffys a bit of a sentimental person. writing in her log to clear her thoughts sometimes and cared enough to try and preserve lmanburg with the glass sheet and trying to find possible surviving artifacts of history to respect it, even though she’s never been a part of it. its also why, when doomsday happened and lmanburg got permanently poofed, she began to appreciate the buildings that are still standing and began taking more pics 

* she’s not used to being... what do you call it, um, cared for? she’d deflect compliments sometimes, when shes having a particular bad day, like, she’d laugh nervously and change the subject, sometimes she’d outright deny it, most days she’d jokingly say ‘staphhh it’ and add a very genuine thanks. my point being is, do something for puffy that is mildly nice and she’d keep that moment in her heart forever. 

* also funny story regarding the above. u know how karl is notorious for stealing her materials? and how puffy was contemplating doing something in retaliation for them? karl says hi for once when she joins the server and she goes ‘alright fine youre safe for saying hi’ LOL THIS WAS PROBABLY A BIT META WISE but something about this implying that the bare minimum or LESS is enough to make puffy forgive someone is very sad and funny at the same time for me. girl really said ‘oh you said hi to me? thats nice all the crimes youve ever done towards me is now forgiven. <3’ (this is a bit of an exaggeration on my part, ofc, i just think its funny LMAO) 

* ironically, despite being the ‘captain’, whenever riding a boat with someone, she prefers being on the backseat and letting them drive. ig shes just there for the ride i suppose, her and her uber drivers :3

 * she either has a rather unhealthy obsession with baked potatoes or she just doesnt wanna waste eret’s massive potato farm

* idc what cc!puffy says is c!puffy will always and forever be 5′2″ in my HEART. u are the shortest member, u cannot change this <3

* shes really fond of animals/ neutral mobs. she often baby talks to them and they help boost her mood a lot when shes having a bad day :D

* up to this day, the little secret rooms she’s created around the server have all been yet to be discovered, unless the one under bad’s house has been found. she rarely ever really keeps tabs on them, and more often than not they are just collecting dust. she still visits sometimes and cleans them up ofc

* she still genuinely thinks dream can change. cc!puffy’s line about that, ‘i’m his last hope.’ really makes me think about this a lot. 

* ive seen people talk abt it a bit but the headcanon that puffy acts as the server mom to fill the ‘void’ of her missing her mom makes me cry at night /hj

* she really likes her rainbow onesie! i headcanon that eret gave her that along w the sunglasses, but she started wearing that less when she found her old captains uniform. shes never really said why, though, and nobody ever really bothered to ask

* god bless this woman but sometimes the server members get on her nerves sometimes so she goes out of her way to traverse along far away from the main community to maybe commit a few crimes. let off some steam. these take a few days but she always returns

i probably have a lot more hcs but i cant remember them >_> THIS IS A LOT ANYWAY. HOPE U ENJOYED MY BRAIN VOMIT. IF U READ THIS FAR ILU THANK U

if there are mistakes it is bc i am crying and cannot see my keyboard and also i am sleep deprived /hj

[bansheeoftheforest]

Transfem/Enby/Genderfluid gang Jekyll au:

(Unrelated, but I once I had a daydream au like this. Except minus the gang and just Lucy)

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Does Rachel find out? (because I suppose it's a bit hard for her not too) she'd happily try to make dresses for Jekyll to wear when going out on heists

Also, you ever see those dolls where like uh a tutu would spin into a full dress? Like the dolls with the gimmick of "two in one outfit" and itd change somehow to a completely different look? (Usually a dress) I keep imagining that. Like exactly that. Hen presses a button on their suit and it spins into a dress. Is it impractical? Yes. Literally Impossible? Absolutely. But it's fun to imagine

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Update on my game progress: I killed springhill jack and was deeply disappointed to find that isn't an unlockable outfit, I mean come on! That evil lair literally had two mannequins wearing it, and you're telling me Jacob didn't yoink one? Smh 😔

In terms of main story, as of writing this I have received the Hallucinogenic(?) Darts and got the cargo cables, also got poisoned. Now looking in a pirate basement

Also, hatred towards B button ended. "Follow this 50km/h vehicle with your wimpy human legs" quests are my new worst enemy

And! I was looking through the dlc and saw some individual outfits were free! I dont use the Evie one due me thinking her original is better. But Jacobs outfit "The Creature's Rags" looks v good! And I get to keep my hat <3, a bit sad to discover both cant be colored though

I greatly appreciate the fact that Jacob and Evie sorta level up together, so you can just decide to play as another when you usually play one, and the other wouldn't be horrendously underleveled!

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Also! I forgot to acknowledge it but Rexford Kaylock being somehow related to Jasper sounds very fun. They've probably never met and never will, as I simply enjoy the thought of him being related

Oooh! And now I'm imagining Lucy agreeing to help the Rooks at some point, she walks onto the train to discuss plans only to immediately stop. Because there's Dr. Henry fucking Jekyll. Just causally lounging on a couch wearing clearly too big clothes (he stole them from Jacob) and sipping tea. Jekyll is in too much panic and shock to say anything so Jacob just slaps his shoulder and says "Henry here makes some of strongest and most useful poisons! He also helps fix some of our real bad injuries AND He gives us information on people from the aristocracy if we need it! <3" but all in like a tone of sheer affection and "look at my person, hes so talented, I recruited him myself, be jealous of how good he is at everything"

Robert circus man keeps reminding me of Robert Lanyon, and before I even knew his name, just how he acted and what clothes he wore

Ned! Ned my beloved <3. At first I was confused on why the game felt the need to mention that it was made by people of many gender identities and etc. But then! Trans character! Canonically trans character! I dont really play video games that much, and certainly not recent ones, so this may be a decently common sight, but it made me really giddy and happy to see <3

Rachel would probably find out immediately. She goes to Lucy's house to visit her brother on a surprise visit, is very surprised to see her boss drinking tea with Patrin and Elise, in the most fancy and most lacy dress she has ever seen. Hen would be absolutely horrified to see Rachel, Patrin/Elise/Lucy would probably start bubbling about how they started to work for them and how good they are at the job and doesn't that dress just suit them perfectly and Hen would look like they would want to sink into the couch and disappear. Rachel would probably only need a moment to realize, then she would be Hen's biggest supporter and make SO MANY DRESSES for them <3

I know exactly what you mean and I want Hen to have at least 10 of those. Maybe not a suit but more like a short dress like Evie wears that turns into a longer dress, just yes pls <3

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Oooooh I just did the sequel mission for that one yesterday! It's really annoying with he just poofs away like that but i still think it was v fun. Maybe there is a mod that adds that outfit? XD

...Y'know you can just steal a carriage and go after them most of the time, right? At least unless they specifically state "follow x by doing z" and stuff, so XD

I really like that outfit but I like Jacob to be a fancy fancy boi. I also have yet to find an outfit for Evie that I like, the only one I have found so far was the military outfit but you can't unlock that until you have done the WW1 missions and I promised to save those so my friend could watch me do those missions, you get to play as Jacob's granddaugther, I believe <3

Yess, only thing is you have to decide where to spend the points but eh, its just takes a minute or so XD

I like to imagine Rexford being Jasper's kinda-odd-but-also-very-protective uncle, prepared to beat anyone up who lays a hand on his nephew... Too bad Jacob killed him in cold blood lol

I love that point and I especially love the thought of that, too, being Jacob x Jekyll bc I have been having that brainrot for a fucking week at this point. I just... Adore the panic. Like, Henry just chilling, taking a break from the Lodgers, just getting to go on a lil vacation seeing the train move past London, catching up with friends and shit and flirt with Jacob, and all of a sudden Lucy walks in, they both stare at each other for such a long moment, Henry chokes on his tea, Lucy just goes like... "Uh... Dr. Jekyll? What the hell are you doing here?" bc lets say that they have met before, Jacob just being so proud of Henry and all he has done for them like look!! This is my person!!! He is so good for us and he is really just awesome!!!!!! I recruited him myself aren't I just the best!!! meanwhile Henry is just like... 👉👈🥺 XD

Man do you know how much I can relate to you rn. I love the thought of Robert being the one holding the fight clubs. I love the fight clubs but I absolutely hate all the races. The Lambeth Lap Race can go and die </3

Yess!!! It has always been really important for the team of AC to make sure to keep a diverse developer team and especially since they are working with history, it's important to have many different perspective on things, and it actually isn't until recently that they added sexualities and gender identities to that little pre-note on the loading screen! It was first just about races and ethnicities but I'm glad they are keeping it diverse and aren't afraid to show it. Jacob technically has a male love interest later on but... Spoilers <3