#and tilly said it i love her

[pikechris]

hugh is finding spirituality <3

[raticalshoez]

i'm having hyperfixation drought so i did what i did best and created a crossover episode

[kayawolfhorse]

21 + Pearl for the ask game!

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Pearl is one of my favorite guys to write because she’s one of my favorite guys in general, and every aspect of her character is fun to portray. It’s impossible to pick just one favorite, but something I love exploring is Pearl’s sense of loyalty, especially in the Life Series, where it’s such an integral part of her arc as a whole and how it’s simultaneously a great trait to have and yet has caused Pearl so much pain, either through denying her a team to be loyal to or her outliving the rest of her team entirely

(Ask game)

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Feel like rewatching Catherine Cookson movies constantly due to my mom has me questioning at this point what is with these movies and obsession with rape or rape attempts.

[russellsppttemplates]

Lando calling his wife "lovie" got me 🥹🥹🥹

And just the image of him cooing about a milk drunk baby is enough to send my ovaries into combustion!

Would you maybe write a little bit more about it, like maybe Lando posting or sending his family pictures of his milk drunk babies because he thinks it is the cutest/funniest thing?

Note: you and me both, anon!

"Tell me this isn't the cutest, squishiest face you have ever seen!", Lando groaned softly as he admired your babygirl while he walked in the Silverstone paddock, "I have to admit that's a pretty cute baby", Ted said into his microphone.

"Pretty cute? Tilly is the cutest", Lando stated, adjusting the hat on her head to shield her face from the sunshine that graced his home race weekend, "she has her tummy full and she was out like a light, nothing can bother her, she's in her own little world", Lando smiled, delighting everyone who saw the infections of the new father and his babygirl.

"It's extra special, no? Your home race, your family is here - the youngest Norris is here too - and a pole position that by the looks of it could get you a home race win", Ted wondered.

"Yes, it definitely is, we're not taking anything for granted until we race, obviously, but the spirits are definitely high", he smiled, kissing Matilda's cheek as she made a little noise, "I had another question to ask you but this little one made it fly out of my brain, actually", Ted chuckled as he shook his head.

"She usually has that effect on people, you can't really pay attention to anything else", Lando smiled proudly.

.

"Little man is down, was absolutely milk drunk and went out like a light", you said as Lando stepped out of the en suite bathroom, crawling up to you in bed and stroking the baby's soft cheeks, "He's so sleepy, look at him", you cooed, "he fell asleep with my nipple still in his mouth, I barely got a burp out of him before he was knocked right out", you smiled.

"We make really cute kids, don't we, lovie?", Lando said, resting his head on your chest and facing Fraser, and from your point of view, it was clear this baby would become a Lando clone soon enough.

"So far, they all look the most like you, so you're really just tooting your own horn", you scoffed playfully, "these cute cheeks and pouty lips, lovie? They're all you", Lando charmed, making you blush.

.

"Can you give her the bottle, please?", you asked Lando, "I need to make sure Matilda is not doodling instead of doing her homework", you kissed Lando's lips and baby Charlotte's cheek.

"Let's warm this up for you, babygirl", Lando said as he put the milk in the bottle and popped it in the warmer, "you're hungry, aren't you? And fighting sleep so I've heard - you gave mummy a full on afternoon", he giggled, pulling funny faces as she giggled at her father's antics.

"Off we go then, open up - there we go, Lottie", he smiled as she suckled, finally get her tummy full as he walked around bouncing her, "hopefully you'll sleep because you really need it, and that way you can also give mummy a little bit of a rest, just so enough me and her can have a cuddle, you know?", he playfully tsked, "you've been stealing all of my cuddles", he giggled as he looked at her precious face. Life had been generous enough with him - he had the woman of his dreams, a career he loved and their three little ones. Life was good.

After burping Charlotte, Lando rocked her to sleep, which didn't prove to be very hard as she was milkdrunk as ever, her little mouth opened as she rested on his chest.

"Tilly is doing fine and Fraser is happily playing with his toys", you said as you sat down on the sofa next to your husband, your daughter happily sleeping on his chest, "take a picture of this cute face and send it to the groupchat, please", Lando whispered as he gave you his phone so you could dot it.

Lando: Look at this cutie 🥰

Flo: Look at her chubby cheeks, I can't!

Cisca: She looks so out-of-it-milkdrunk, I bet she's having a good nap!

Lovie: Seeing her like this almost makes it look like she wasn't wide awake the whole afternoon - she never closed those big eyes, she was always staring at me!

Adam: look at our little girl 😍

"You're so loved, babygirl", you said, brushing the hairs on her head, cuddling closer to your husband.

"Finally I am the one getting a cuddle from mummy", Lando cheered, kissing your lips, "jealous much, handsome?", you teased, "just wanted a cuddle from you, woman! This one has hogged your boobs from me - I have to take what I can get!".

(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)

[multifariousqueer]

can you write miles 42 having readers bank account, card ALL that on his phone and gets mad if she purchases shi with money he didint give her. its really crazy but its miles 42....what do you expect??? hehe

Sure love!!!

A/n: y’all I love you so much but I need you guys to start requesting regular miles fanfic pls. Although 42 miles owns my 🩷

It was just a simple necklace. It was the Vivienne Westwood necklace that you saw everyone around you wearing and wanted so badly. You knew Miles would get it for you in a heartbeat but a part of you wanted to get it for yourself. It had been a long, stressful semester but you struggled through it all and got to a point where ou were passing with A’s and B’s. Coincidentally, you had gotten a job at Starbucks after months of applying and you had about $1000 saved up of your own money that you were waiting to spend on something special. That was, until that “something special” came along in the form of Miles.

You never knew what he did but you knew he was making 8x your salary in a month. It seemed like anything you wanted, you got when you were with Miles; shoes, clothes, books, makeup any and everything you wanted, it was yours in a matter of days. It’s worth mentioning that Miles is extremely overprotective and wants to know everything about what you’re doing and buying because he loves you and cares about your habits.

Even on Miles’s birthday when you dipped into your savings to get him the latest Jordan’s, he was furious that you had to use your own money:

“Damn Ma, these are valid. How much were they?”

“Oh don’t worry about it” you said

“I said, how much were they.” His eyes narrowing in on you because he knew how much they were because he was gonna buy them 2 weeks ago but decided not to.

“$500. I’ve been saving for them for you, baby. It’s all good” you tried to assure him

“Aight. thank you.” He said, pulling you close to him, the scent of the Dior Sauvage cologne you also bought him, filling your nostrils

But deep down you knew he was pissed off and mad that you spent your own money, so after a long talk about how he should be able to keep tabs on you and keep you safe, you gave him your Apple Pay and banking info for emergencies only but of course it’s Miles and being the overprotective boyfriend he is, he checks it everyday for any “extravagant purchases” made by you or someone else.

Of course he isn’t crazy, he set a $25 limit for you before he steps in and asks what’s up. Once, you were at a mall with your friend and found the cutest shirt at Urban Outfitters and decided to buy it. The price tag read $50 but you went ahead and got it; the same happened at Bath and Body Works and Tilly’s and as you made your way to the bathroom, you got a text from Miles:

Miles: did someone take your card?

You: no why??

Miles: why’d you spend $150 in an hour??

You: I’m at the mall

Miles: so? I pay for your shit

You: dawg it’s $150. It’s not that deep 💀

Miles: I ain’t yo “dawg” and yes it is when Yk I buy you shit

You: you aren’t my sugar daddy

Miles: I basically am atp. I’m sending you $1000, buy something cute

You contemplated leaving him on seen but you remembered how he hates that so you replied:

You: Okay

You had saved up enough to get the necklace and when you got it, you were ecstatic. You thought about all of the possible outfit combos and how good it will look against your brown skin but your thoughts were interrupted by a certain someone:

Miles: what’d I tell you, Mami?

You: ?

Miles: don’t play dumb, yk I would’ve bought you that necklace in a heartbeat but instead you wanted to be miss independent and buy it yourself. I guess since you’re so independent, I’ll stop sending you that $1000 every week. How about that?

You: ok

Miles: ?

You: we can discuss this when I get home

Miles: K

You: k

It was a long ride home but eventually you accepted that Miles was gonna rip your head off and there wasn’t anything you could do about it.

When you got home, he had three of the necklaces, two huge teddy bears, a bouquet of your favorite flowers and the newest pair of Jordan’s waiting for you:

“What’s all this?” You smiled and asked

“I told you I’ll pay for your shit, y/n” miles said, with a small smirk on his face

[wileys-russo]

Matildas content has me in a chokehold for my fav aussie girlies! Would you consider something with kyra x r where the girls notice how easily r stops kyra’s annoying little sister behavior (rip mother steffy) maybe something along the lines of r being sleepy and Kyra being loud, a little “baby, im tired” and kyra’s basically 🤐 and the girls are just like this is all we needed for her to not be a menace lol!

around her little finger II k.cooney-cross x reader

"mate she's killing me, i really don't know how you put up with her." caitlin grumbled with a huff, shoving kyra away who tickled at the back of her neck with a grin, all of you exhausted after a long day of travel.

"patience and practice." you smiled bumping your shoulder into the older girls who sighed and grabbed her bag, heading into the hotel before kyra could catch her.

there wasn't a need though as of course kyra's attention was on her most favourite person to annoy, steph.

"kyra get off you rat!" steph laughed, shoving kyra away where she tried to clamber onto her back, smacking the younger girl in the back of the head as she reached for her bags.

"ow! babe did you see that? she abused me." your girlfriend turned to you with a pout. "baby you abuse her on a daily basis, you asked for it." you patted her cheek softly as steph laughed loudly in her face and slung an arm over you.

"and this is why you're my favourite child." steph sighed happily as you shot your girlfriend a grin over the older girls shoulder whose pout had shifted into a grumpy scowl as she grabbed her bags and yours.

"not fair! you've known each other longer." kyra grumbled moodily, steph having played alongside you since your very first pro season in the a-leagues, having taken you under her wing from day one. "i'm also significantly more tolerable than you ky." you teased as your girlfriend rolled her eyes and mocked you under her breath.

"thats the understatement of the century." steph agreed with a hum, yelping as kyra kicked at the back of her legs and sent her stumbling forward nearly taking you down with her. "kyra!" steph growled as your girlfriend beamed and sprinted into the hotel.

"you can do so much better than her, you know that right?" steph sighed taking your face in her hands as you rolled her eyes. "you love us together stephanie don't lie, you meddled about to get us with one another in the first place!" you wagged a finger as she grinned and let you go.

"i do, i really do. she might be a massive pain in the ass but you two are adorable together!" steph cooed and pinched your cheek as the two of you stepped inside the lobby.

"yeah and you've got her on a leash! whipped." you turned around at the new voice as your face lit up. "lani!" you launched at the taller girl, wrapping yourself around her in a hug as the defender squeezed you tightly.

"no longer wanting to punch me now are we baby t?" the blonde teased as she dropped you back to your feet and you pushed her shoulder with a scoff. "one; i hate that nickname. two; it was a dirty tackle and you deserved a yellow!" you warned as the older girl simply grinned and pulled you into her side, the two of you catching up as you wandered toward check in.

"also you might hate it but you're branded with that nickname for life now." alanna warned patting your head as you pushed her away, the nickname in general being a shortened version of 'baby tillie' which you'd earned the day you rocked up for your first senior camp at only fifteen with boots one size too big and your training bib on backwards.

you made your way around saying your hello's, your girlfriend waiting patiently by check in with your bags at her feet already having said her greetings.

"so you finally did it then?" steph looked up and her face broke out into a grin at the sight of hayley, embracing the shorter girl in a very tight hug. "did what?" steph frowned a little as hayley nodded over her shoulder toward kyra who was watching you with a lovesick pining stare.

"oh yes! finally manipulated them both into admitting their feelings for one another." steph smiled victoriously, you and kyra only having been officially together for a few months now after clearly crushing mutually for years.

"i give it a couple more weeks till she gets sick of that." hayley grinned, nodding to kyra who had grown bored of waiting for you, now wrapped around caitlin trying to pull her into a headlock.

"oh that isn't a problem with them. in fact, its a solution! just you wait."

~

sure enough, the others didn't need to wait long to see just what steph meant.

with word of you and kyra spreading rapidly around the team it wasn't long until the teasing started which you just brushed off with a roll of your eyes and a smile.

kyra however took the opposite approach, bragging on and on about how much you were whipped for her and how you were the biggest 'simp' she'd ever met, a charming recount which really no one but kyra actually believed.

after a grueling morning of fitness testing in the hot abu dhabi sun and everyone was cooling down in the ice baths prepared by the coaching staff, protein shakes in hand as time was spent catching up.

"on your left darlin." you looked up with a grin as ellie jumped in beside you, inhaling with a slight hiss at the change in temperature and clenching her top in her teeth, slowly sinking down into the freezing water.

"well well well if isn't little miss le clean sheet!" you teased with a smirk, ellie shoving your head to the side as the media team started their rounds with the mini mic having already cautioned everyone about camp content being needed.

"who would play you in a movie about your life?" you oohed as it was your turn, ellie already answering as you paused to think about your own. "natalie portman?" you laughed, unable to really think of an answer.

"you wish!" ellie scoffed with a grin, a few of the other girls adding onto the teasing as you mocked them and pulled a face. "because you look so much like margot robbie!" you threw back at alanna whose face dropped as your girlfriend hopped into the ice bath with her.

"fuck off kyra!" the blonde groaned, shoving her away as kyra stuck her finger in her ear with a grin. "anyone else want to babysit?" alanna grumbled, huffing and smacking the midfielder who continued to poke and prod at her.

"ky!" your girlfriend paused to look over her shoulder toward you as you raised an eyebrow.

no further words needing to be said the brunette sank down a little deeper into the water, sipping on her shake and stopping pestering alanna who looked on in surprise as you returned to your conversation with ellie and claire.

hayley got to see everything first hand a little later in the day, everyone gathering together for a session in the gym now it was a little cooler and everyone had eaten lunch.

"kyra! you're fucking killing me here." caitlin groaned as the girl clung onto her leg like a child, refusing to let go so she could continue her workout. "kyra please go finish your own reps, burn off some energy or something." steph tried with a roll of her eyes as kyra ignored her and continue to cling on.

a few others tried but kyra just ignored them, caitlin trying desperately to shake her off and even threatening to drop a weight on her head had no effect on the midfielder.

"mini man help me out!" caitlin whined pointing to kyra as katrina held her hands up. "she doesn't listen to me!" the older woman laughed, knowing the younger girls willingness to annoy others much out drove her willingness to listen to them.

"ky, can you spot me please?" you appeared suddenly with a drink bottle in hand, kyra dropping from caitlins leg and immediately jumping up to her feet, following loyally after you like a puppy.

"well, would seem she does listen to someone." hayley scoffed, all of the girls bar steph's faces written with shock, watching as kyra raced off to fill your water up for you after loading up the bench press insisting you not touch a thing until she returned.

"see? told you ras, baby t's got her wrapped right round her little finger." steph smirked somewhat proudly, the girls all shaking their heads and returning to their own workouts, kyra hovering protectively above you watching like a hawk as you did your lifts.

~

if word spread quickly about you and kyra just simply finally being together, it spread even faster about just what an impact and a grip you seemed to have over the rambunctious midfielder and her pestering antics.

"no way! she's that much of a pain." mackenzie scoffed in disbelief at alanna's words about what happened in the gym yesterday and in the ice baths, caitlin adding in several experiences of her own from back in london.

like the time kyra was caught tying katie's shoes together and with one disappointed sigh from you she immediately untied them and raced to katie with an apology.

or the time she wouldn't stop spraying alessia with her water bottle for the entire training until suddenly you were thirsty and she was barreling over toward the taps to fill up about five of them which were ran right over to you.

or the time she stacked up a whole heap of the big black foam training blocks to prove to teyah she could in fact touch the roof.

but with one mention of her name and a raised eyebrow from you, the midfielder was clambering down and putting the blocks back, showering your face with apologetic kisses as you scolded her and warned she could have been seriously hurt had she fallen.

"you are lying! look at her she's a menace." mackenzie rolled her eyes pointing to where kyra was currently rolling around on the rec room floor wrestling with charli as teagan egged them on.

"what are we talking about then?" you hopped over the back of the couch they were sat on, wedging yourself between alanna and mackenzie. "comfortable?" the blonde raised an eyebrow as you tucked yourself into her side and stretched your legs out over mackenzies lap.

"very, thank you lanz." you grinned patting her knee as the older girl rolled her eyes affectionately but moved her arm to drape across you. "how you've got kyra wrapped round your little finger." caitlin chuckled in answer to your previous question.

"oh yeah, absolutely." you nodded with a serious expression as mackenzie scoffed. "there is no way, she's too much of a stubborn pest to listen to anyone." the goalkeeper shook her head as you shrugged, unbothered by the disbelief.

"game of uno?"

"ha! draw four, again." alanna smirked toward mackenzie who was fuming, yanking another four cards up and mumbling angrily under her breath.

"relax mac you're gonna burst a blood vessel in your forehead, at your age that could cause some serious winkle damage." you teased, both you and caitlin down to one card each as poor mackenzie now had at least twelve.

"unless you would like me to hang you upside down by your ankles again, shut it." the older girl warned seriously as you held hands up in defence. "that was so good i've gotta find the video of that again." alanna snickered as you pinched her leg with a glare.

"i didn't even deserve it considering i was framed and both of you knew and didn't say anything!" you huffed at the memory of the goalkeeper indeed hanging you upside down by your ankles when she thought you'd put honey in her gloves.

but really it was of course a much younger sam who didn't even come to your defence as you swore black and blue it wasn't you, mackenzie only letting you down when your face went bright red since the blood had rushed to your head.

"i said i was sorry and i threw sam in the ice bath, don't be a baby about it." mackenzie shrugged finally getting alanna back with a draw four of her own. "you never said sorry!" you argued with a scowl which quickly turned to a victorious smirk as you slapped down your final card with a whoop of success.

"three in a row, unbeatable." you grinned happily, all three girls around you moaning in annoyance and throwing their cards down. "i'm tapping out, leaving as a winner you know?" you flexed with a confident smile.

"goodnight!" you hurried to dart out of the way of alanna's hand which grabbed for your top as you wiggled your fingers at them over your shoulder.

your girlfriend in the meantime was on a winning streak of her own only it wasn't just her opponents whose nerves she was rapidly grating as she sat on a beanbag playing mario kart, yelling and jeering and poking at poor steph who was stuck in dead last.

"nah this is rigged! what have you done to it?" she shot the brunette beside her a fierce glare as kyra let out an over dramatic evil laugh causing a few heads to turn to her with scowls of annoyance at her volume in the shared space.

picking up on the rapidly frosty mood building in the room and not wanting your girlfriend to make too many enemies on her first night, as kyra crossed the finish line in first you decided to step in.

"ha! loser loser looser." kyra leapt up and chanted repeatedly at steph beside her who scowled and threw the remote onto the now vacant beanbag beside her as kyra continued with her obnoxious celebrations.

"anyone else game enough to face the champ?" the midfielder smiled smugly looking around the room but clearly missing the looks of disdain thrown back at her, even charli looking ready to call it a night.

"nobody? everyone too chicken?" kyra made a loud squawking noise and grinned. "just go to bed kyra! you are giving everyone a headache." caitlin groaned from the sofa as your girlfriend started to argue.

"ky." your hand grabbed softly at her bicep, cutting her off mid sentence as she looked to you with a raised eyebrow, the brunette now consumed entirely in giving you whatever you wanted.

"baby, i'm tired. lets head up?" you asked with a raised eyebrow, kyra nodding and immediately tossing the controller onto the beanbag without another word, grabbing your hand and following you right out of the room.

"see? around. her. little. finger!" caitlin smirked at the look of utter shock on mackenzie's face, most of the team looking on in surprise at yet again just how easily kyra would bend over backwards to meet your needs.

"ow! what the hell was that for?" steph huffed as hayley dropped down in the beanbag beside her and handed her one of the abandoned controllers.

"for not getting them together sooner!"

[papaya-twinks]

lando x roommate!reader in which she's on the phone with a friend and she's like " lando's so hot " and talking about how she would fuck him and saying a bunch of dirty stuff about him and lando walks in her room and hears and then he fucks her

Warnings: Smut, 18+

Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader

“Of course I think he’s hot,” Lando heard you say. Pause. Who? Who the hell did you find hot? He stopped outside your room, peeking inside, and seeing you sitting on the bed, looking so perfect in your silk robe. Christ.

“Then ask him out!” the voice over the phone said, sounding utterly bored out of their mind. “I can’t just ask Lando out, Tilly,” you said. Wait…you thought Lando was hot? Good news. “We went to the pool yesterday,” you giggled.

Oh god, Lando remembered that. How good you’d looked in that fucking bikini. How your eyes had momentarily dropped to his bulge, outlined by the wet black trunks. God, he’d loved that look in your eyes. He could get used to it.

“And that one time we watched this one movie a few weeks ago,” you said a little shyly, “when we, like, cuddled kinda,” you said. Wow, Lando made you that shy? And the fact you remembered it all? It would’ve been adorable, if he wasn’t growing a hard-on, just watching the silk robe hug your curves.

Lando opened the door softly, making sure it didn’t creak, as he crept behind you. The call was a voice call, so your little friend couldn’t see as Lando slowly placed a hand on your shoulder, the other one pressing to his lips to gesture you to be quiet.

“I’ll-I’ll see you soon,” you said through the phone. Oh shit, how much had Lando heard? Your cheeks were tinged a slight pink as you hung up, Lando’s eyes tracing your curves. “Yeah? I’m hot, hm?” he said, his finger tracing small patterns on your stomach.

So maybe he’d heard too much…

“Um…” you didn’t get to say anything else, as Lando gently moved the phone from your hand, guiding you onto your back. “Lando,” you gasped, your eyes twinkling and cheeks red as he slowly rode the robe down from your body, leaving you in your lacy bra panties.

“Fucking hot,” he said, smirking as he watched your hands trail to his joggers, pushing under the waistband, taking his cock gently into your hand, the weight of his member on your hand as he groaned, nipping at your neck, pressing kisses to your collarbone.

“Can I put it in?” Lando asked, his voice slightly strained as your hand spread the pre-cum down his thick member, a vein pressing along the bottom as you ran your thumb over it. “Please,” you said, moving your thighs further apart for his fingers to curl inside of you, his thumb stroking your clit.

“Good,” he said, pressing the tip of his head to your clit, running it over the sensitive bud a few times as your back arched. “Fuck, Lan,” you hissed, before he slid the head in, letting you adjust inch by inch. “Oh god,” you moaned, nails running down his back.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” Lando gasped, his voice hoarse as he rocked in and out of you, your cunt clenching round him as his cock plunged into your heat, his thighs hitting yours. “Lan, oh my god,” you choked out, his hands holding onto your hips, nails digging into your skin.

“You’re fucking gorgeous,” he groaned, your knot building up as his hips snapped into yours, the sound of skin on skin, his length sliding in and out of your soaking heat, echoing in the empty room. “Oh my god,” you gasped, “Lando, fuck,”.

“There?” he asked, a smirk on his face, “you like it there?” he asked, angling his cock to hit your sensitive spot. “I’m so close,” you gasped, eyes rolling. “Cum f’me,” Lando said, voice slurred as you nodded, hands tangling in his chocolate curls, your orgasm flooding over you.

“Gonna pull out,” he said, voice choked and hoarse as he did so, your abdomen immediately dampening with your own juices, his cum spilling in ropes against your soft skin. “God, you’re so fucking perfect,” Lando said, kissing your forehead.

“Needed that so bad,” he said, slowly manoeuvring your body next to his, cleaning the cum off of your body with a towel. “Me too,” you said quietly, head on his chest. “You’re so gorgeous,” he said, hand trading small patterns onto your stomach.

[child0feden]

FIRE AND ICE

kimi raikkonen x cky / jackass member! wife! reader x ( platonic! ) oc daughter x ( platonic! ) oc son

faceclaim: assorted but mainly lucy liu

୨୧ okay so the timeline on this one is a little messy but please just deal with it <3 i imagine they met when they were around 21, had their daughter when they were around 28 and married when they were around 30… so their daughter is around 16 years old… is that messy? a lot of this is from the pov of their daughter and fan accounts since social media wasn’t really a thing in the early 2000’s and stuff…

reading music recommendations: lost in a contraption by cky - along comes mary by bloodhound gang

loveuyn: thinking about how in an old interview yn said she was going to keep her first ever car so it can be her future child’s first car and now tilly has it and absolutely loves it 🥹 photos from tilly’s social media

ckylvr: it’s so crazy seeing her drive the car that was featured in SO much of the early cky stuff 💔 every time i see her post it i do the leonardo dicaprio point like “ oh! that’s the car bam jumped off while it sped down a road ”

❤️ liked by tillyraikkonenln

ynlnstomponme: i hope yn cleaned it REALLY good lmao… the amount of times people have been caught on video vomiting in it is genuinely nuts

> loveuyn: not to mention the blood lmao 😭

> ynlnsbackhand: if that car could talk…

> loveuyn: if that car could talk it’d be taking yn to court straight away for pain and suffering

tillyraikkonenln: the best part about being a late 2000’s baby is you get all your parents cool vintage stuff :D

ynraikkonenln ✔️: you’re grounded for a year

> tillyraikkonenln: i’m sorry mom :(

❤️ liked by ynraikkonenln and kimiraikkonen

> iluvf1: teens calling stuff their parents used when THEY were teens “vintage” just to annoy them is so funny to me

> loveuyn: crying rn, the time tilly was on live and someone commented to ask yn and kimi about AOL “ what the hell is AOL”… and yn immediately giving her a whole history on how she used to flirt with boys in her school over AOL while kimi and tilly just watched her ramble from the side

> oldf1lvr: she needed to educate her baby on the old ways real quick 😭

> kimicelover: kimi had SO MUCH love in his eyes on that livestream… i want what they have

oldf1lvr: tilly, who’s your favourite grid uncle?

> tillyraikkonenln: seb!

> sebastianvettel ✔️: the greatest medal of honour! thank you tilly, come visit soon - sebastian ❤️

> lewishamilton ✔️: what at am i? chopped liver?

> tillyraikkonenln: sorry uncle lew :3

❤️ liked by lewishamilton

> jackass4ever: favourite jackass uncle?

> tillyraikkonenln: CHRIS! definitely chris

❤️ liked by chrispontious

> chrispontious ✔️: thank you very much tilly, always knew you were smarter than your mother

> ynraikkonenln ✔️: get lost 🙄

ckylvr: the amount of HIM and CKY pin badges you can spot in that pile 💔 take me backkkk

jackass4ever: what’s the nastiest thing your mom did on cky? in your opinion…

> tillyraikkonenln: kissed dico and rake 😟

loveuyn: yn’s grid milf fashion highlight ❤️

tillyraikkonenln: i don’t think i’ll ever get used to people calling my mother a milf :(

> iluvf1: lmao poor tilly 😭

oldf1lvr: kimi in the third picture in a boring ass button up and jeans… i hate m*n

> ynlnsbackhand: she’s EVERYTHING, he’s just ken

iluvf1: i miss seeing her interact with fans in the paddock so much, bring our mom back 💔

> tillyraikkonenln: she misses interacting with people in the paddock! they’ll visit soon, her and dad have just been busy with KJ ❤️

> new2f1: KJ? who is that?

> oldf1lvr: it’s their son! they haven’t revealed his name or anything yet since he’s only 5 so they call him KJ because according to yn he’s a double of kimi

> iluvf1: kimi’s genes are incredible because tilly looks EXACTLY like him too 😭

> loveuyn: she’s a double of kimi look wise but has the exact same personality as yn

❤️ liked by tillyraikkonenln

loveuyn: gentle reminder of these adorable pictures yn posted when she was pregnant with KJ ( and the only pictures we have of him so far )

ynlnsbackhand: her comfy mom era was her best era, fight me

❤️ liked by tillyraikkonenln

oldf1lvr: baby KJ 🥹 you can’t even see his face but you can tell he totally IS a copy of kimi

kimicelover: i wonder if KJ will be the future racer, since tilly is more into skateboarding and photography?

❤️ liked by tillyraikkonenln

> iluvf1: maybe! but is the grid really prepared for another iceman 🫣

jackass4ever: i love how whenever she’s in the jackass movies she’s still a total hardass but the second it comes to her babies she just crumbles 🥹

> kimicelover: it’s the same with kimi! he’s still ice cold to most people but the second he sees tilly, KJ or yn he just melts and there’s SO much video evidence of it 💔

ynraikkonenln: my little girl helping me and kimi celebrate our anniversary by cooking dinner for us ❤️

tillyraikkonenln: i burned literally everything… and i’m not a little girl anymore, i’m 16 :(

> kimiraikkonen ✔️: we’re still grateful and you’ll always be our little girl kulta 💙

❤️ liked by ynraikkonenln and tillyraikkonenln

> tillyraikkonenln: oh and did you have to include that picture of me washing up?

> kimiraikkonen ✔️: yes, she did, it’s pretty unbelievable for a teen so we need people to see photo evidence

loveuyn: yn ln… then and now 🥹

tillyraikkonenln: black and white filter on the first pictures made me think my own mother was dead for a second…

> loveuyn: sorry tilly 😭

iluvf1: goddamn, this woman has aged like fine wine…

ynlnsbackhand: just me who thinks she’s got hotter with age?

> oldf1lvr: definitely not just you…

> kimicelover: kimi too though… they’re both so hot as older people… i want them BOTH so bad 😭

jackass4ever: genuinely HOW is this the woman that let dico pee on her in her sleep and only hit him with a belt after?

> oldf1lvr: sorry WHAT?

> loveuyn: the iceland incident…

> ynlnsbackhand: at least ryan got back at him properly for her

> ynlnslighter: those belt whips she gave dico were fucking crazy what do you mean 😭

> ynlnsbackhand: HE PISSED ON HER

> ckylvr: everyone was pissing on each other in iceland, wtf was in the air over there?

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ ˚ NEW ADDED BONUS ˚ ୨୧ ⋆｡˚ ⋆

her parents are in love… gross

tillyraikkonenln: sigh… my parents are still SO in love even after like… 60 years… nasty

kimiraikkonen ✔️: cheeky girl… thank you for taking these pictures kulta 💙

> tillyraikkonenln: wonder who i get that from… you’re welcome isä <3

❤️ liked by ynraikkonenln and kimiraikkonen

ynraikkonenln ✔️: 60 YEARS? you’re pushing your luck missy… love you

❤️ liked by kimiraikkonen and tillyraikkonenln

kimiynlover: if i don’t ever have a love like theirs i have failed at life 💔

sebastianvettel ✔️: KJ is getting big! sending my love ❤️ - sebastian

❤️ liked by ynraikkonenln, tillyraikkonenln and kimiraikkonen

[etherealstar-writes]

I WANNA BE YOURS | WOSO X READER | PT 16

pairings: woso x reader

summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.

part: sixteen

part one here

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM

the imposter aka y/n ❤️

felt lotte 😔

neev you went to a wsl match and to an arse-nal one of all ?! i thought you were a chelsea supporter y/n 😔 how could you do this to me bae

kyra who the hell would be sane enough to support chelshit?

elton PLS

willybum CHELSHIT HAHAHA

neev are we seeing this rn sam @ samtheskippa the disrespect

sam the skippa kyra lillee cooney-cross

kyra erm mum, save me @ stephy

stephy i ain't getting involved in this

kyra 😔

meado oh my lord

tom holland's twin i have a concussion y/n ✌️ twinning

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ want me to come over and we can watch movies i'll bring ice-cream

tom holland's twin pls do 🙏

stairway why is lotte getting special treatment? i sprained my ankle the other day

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ sucks to be you

elton are you seriously still mad at us for accidentally giving you a concussion

the imposter aka y/n ❤️

neev i'll make it up to you with nandos i'll pay 🙏

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ okay

willybum that's all it took for you to forgive her? nandos?

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ hey, nandos is fire 🔥 only ppl with taste can understand

mccard real

kyra real

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ and i can never stay mad at you guys for long

the REAL karate kid yayyy

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ but tillies are still my number one

willybum NOOO

kyra YESSS as you should 💪

the REAL karate kid okay but you support arsenal yeah? 🥺🙏

neev NAHH chelsea 🤍💙🥺🙏

brightness chelsea 🤍💙

flaming hot chelsea 🤍💙

sam the skippa aye up the blues 🤍💙

elton NAHH yanited 🔛🔝

earpsy yesss ❤️🖤

zelem ❤️🖤

turner ❤️🖤

hempo it's actually mancity thank you very much

lani ayeee

esme yess

chloe that's right

kyra nah y'all are absolutely delulu it's fairly obvious y/n should support ausenal we're superior 💪

wilybum you mean arsenal 🤨 ❤️🤍

kyra yeah that of course 😁 ❤️🤍

the REAL karate kid ❤️🤍

meado ❤️🤍

tom holland's twin ❤️🤍

mccard ❤️🤍

ford ❤️🤍

stephy ❤️🤍

stairway NAH WHAT THE FLIIP WE HAVE MOST OF THE ARSENAL TEAM HERE THIS IS UNFAIR

neev YEAH UNFAIR FR

cha cha i was gonna suggest spurs ....

willybum OH HELL NAH

the REAL karate kid NO

elton ABSOLUTY NOT

cha cha okay okay geez

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ i think i should remain unspoken about this topic before things get more out of hand ....

neev NAH this is an important life decision y/n

rusty metal wait y/n barca will welcome you with open arms

willybum THEY AREN'T A WSL TEAM LUCY

rusty metal i thought it was just clubs in general 😔

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ barca is lookin very convicing ngl and i most def support ausenal (and lotte) 🇦🇺✊

mccard technically i'm an honorary aussie so do i count in ausenal 👀

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ of course

neev i thought we had a connection y/n 😔

willybum why not lionessenal 😔

meado that is a terrible name

the REAL karate kid fr

willybum sue me for tryin why don't you think of something better then

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ nahh doesn't hit the same as ausenal

willybum i liked it better when you didnt know who we were and supported me 😔

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ that isn't very cash money of you willybum

ona you should come to barcelona y/n!

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ anything for you ona 🙏

stairway nahhh come support bayern in germany 💪

kie barca is superior actually

rusty metal that's right!

willybum they're overrated

kie you did not

ona added la reina

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ MOTHER ALEXIA EKBHFlkuweqBFQLUEB NO WAY OMG IVE PASSED AWAY

neev HELP the alexia putellas being added to this gc was NOT on my bingo card this year 😭

ona alexia, leah williamson just said barca is overrated

willybum deleted a chat

willybum i don't know what she's talking about alexia you're amazing

la reina thank you? your nickname is ... creative

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ alexia will you adopt me?

la reina what?

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ what? erm you are insanely peng oml

ona i thought i was peng 😔

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ YOU ARE

ona then you need another compliment for her

kyra alexia is very mother actually

cha cha she is fr

neev seconded

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ but steph is mother for me 🙏 alexia is literally la reina, my queen 😩

stephy what in the world are you guys talking about 😭

rusty metal wait what am i then?

neev grandma duh

rusty metal i shouldn't have asked 😭

ona grandma lucy hahaha

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ ona i'm packing my bags rn coming to barca right away for you

ona i shall be waiting

willybum i can't believe we're being forgotten about 😔

kyra no one cares lord farquaad

willybum you pest 😒

willybum changed kyra's name to pest

pest wow

willybum suits you very well

pest that's not gonna stop me from pestering you, willybum you do realise that

willybum steph control your child

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ but i never did anything 😔

willybum NOT YOU ALSO SINCE WHEN HUH? 😭

stephy do you have a problem with my children, williamson?

willybum erm no

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ mother, kyra is hogging your favourite son from your favourite daughter

stephy kyra give calvin back to y/n

pest wow i'm the neglected middle child i guess 😒

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ L

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

not me finally posting another crappy chapter 🤭

next part here

[heartysworld]

Mother's Day || Oscar Piastri x Reader

A/N: This is a request I got last night and the moment I saw it I knew I just HAD to write it ASAP so here it is. I hope you guys enjoy this one as much as I did! 🧡

W.C.: 2k

MASTERLIST

Oscar sat in his car, adjusting the camera mounted on the dashboard with a genuine smile.

"Good morning everyone, welcome back to the McLaren YouTube channel. It's Oscar here. So, I didn't really plan on filming this today, but according to the schedule, it's my turn to vlog and there's no way out of it. So because today is a really special day you'll be coming with me to run some errands. It's Y/N's first Mother's Day, and I want to make it memorable for her. So, I woke up super early and I'm on my way to get her some flowers and breakfast."

On the way to the places he had in mind to visit, Oscar talked about the other big part of his life. He discussed the last few races and the points he had scored with the invisible audience whom the video was intended for.

He parked the car and walked towards a quaint local flower shop, the bell above the door jingling as he entered. "Alright, so we're at Daisy's Flower Boutique. They have the best flowers in town, and I want to get something really special for Y/N."

Oscar browsed through the vibrant selection of flowers, his eyes lighting up as the woman who worked there showed him a beautiful bouquet of roses and another one of lilies. "These look perfect. I'm actually going to get both." He said. "One bouquet from me and one from our baby girl. I think my wife will love them." He added as he received an odd look from the worker. His reason for buying two bouquets actually made the woman smile, telling him how his wife and daughter are lucky to have such a husband and father.

Next, Oscar headed to a cozy bakery, ordering an assortment of pastries and a couple two lattes, all of your favorite stuff. The camera captured the delicious array of baked goods. "Y/N loves the croissants from this place, so I'm getting a bunch of her favorites. And of course, a latte to go. Funny story, this is where we had our first date six years ago. So we can say we've made it something like "our place". "

With the flowers and breakfast on the passenger seat, Oscar set off back home. "Alright, everything's set. Let's head back home and surprise my wife."

Quietly entering the house, Oscar made his way to the kitchen where Y/N was already awake, cradling their baby girl who let our a loud gurgle at the sight of her dad. "Good morning, loves," he said softly, setting the food and flowers on the counter.

Y/N looked up, a surprised smile spreading across her face. "Oscar! What's all this?"

"Happy first Mother's Day," Oscar beamed, handing her the bouquets. "This one is from me...and this one is from our little princess."

Y/N's eyes welled up with tears as she took the flowers, her smile radiant. "They're beautiful. Thank you so much," she said, leaning in to kiss Oscar and then placing a gentle kiss on their baby girl's head.

Oscar handed her a card with a delicate floral design. "There's more. Open this."

Y/N opened the card, reading the heartfelt note inside:

"To the most amazing woman and mother, Y/N, Happy first Mother's Day! Watching you with our daughter has been the greatest joy of my life. Your love, strength, and kindness inspire me every day. I’m so grateful to share this journey with you. Love always, Oscar and Tilly."

Tears streamed down Y/N's cheeks as she read the note. "Oscar, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me."

Oscar wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead gently. "You deserve it all and more."

You couldn't believe how sweet Oscar had been. This was your first Mother’s Day, and he had gone above and beyond, waking up super early during a break week, to make it special. As you sat in the kitchen, holding you baby girl, you felt an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude.

Later that week, you found out Oscar's video had blown up online. The comments were filled with people adoring him and your family. “Oscar, you’ve set the bar so high for all the partners out there!” one comment read. “Y/N is so lucky to have you, and you can see the love you all share. Happy Mother’s Day, Y/N!” another person wrote.

You decided to film a little response video for your personal instagram, thanking everyone for their kind words. Sitting in the same spot Oscar had been earlier, you turned on the camera and smiled. “Hi everyone, it’s Y/N. I just wanted to say thank you for all the lovely messages. Oscar truly made this Mother’s Day unforgettable, and I’m so grateful for him and our beautiful daughter. Seeing how much you all appreciate his effort makes it even more special. Thank you again, and happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful moms out there.”

Turning off the camera, you felt a wave of happiness. This day had been perfect, not just because of the flowers or the breakfast, but because of the love you shared as a family. Oscar's thoughtfulness had once again touched your heart, showing you how much he loves you and how lucky you are to have him.

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated! 🧡

MASTERLIST

[dark-and-kawaii]

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Caught ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

✧˖°. Summary: You get caught riding the hellrider.

✧˖°. Content: NSFW - Creampie - Penis In Vag - Breeding - Giving Zevlor All The Love - Begging - Masturbation - Big Dick Zevy

✧˖°. Ship: Zevlor x F!Tav/Reader

Notes: I’ve had this idea for a while now that Aradin goes to confess his feelings to you only to find you straddling the hellspawn he loathes. Please enjoy xoxo

As you returned from the goblin camp a gentle breeze of the evening brushed through the grove, stirring the leaves as you stepped through the groves gate. Your return from the goblin camp was nothing short of a miracle, considering the dangers that lurked beyond the grove, so of course you came back with some injuries. It was inevitable considering there were so many beasts…

Your return from the goblin camp had been met with relief and concern from the tieflings whom you aided. Zevlor, of course, had been among them. His features taut with guilt… It was he who had spoken so passionately of the need to clear the path to Baldur's Gate. It was he who had asked for help. The weight of his words are what made you jump into action, and now, the consequence of that decision marked your skin… His eyes never once leaving the bandages wrapped amongst your arm…

The evening soon began to buzz with low conversations and the evening songs of the cicadas. You scanned the grove for the commander you had grown fond of, eager to tell him of the battles you faced and how you were thankful to be able to return to him- erm to the grove… But Zevlor was nowhere to be found.

“Looking for Zevlor?” Tilly asked with a smile, but it soon faded into a frown,“He was looking for you, but he... he just left shortly after you returned. He seemed upset. Went out that way,” she said, pointing towards the woods that skirted the grove.

You looked back to her, then to the woods, then to her again, a look of confusion crossing your features, “Why would he-? Thank you Tilly, I appreciate you telling me where he went.”

Tilly smiled yet again, “I hope everything's alright. He's been so stressed out lately, he could use the company. Just... go easy on him, okay?” she gave a subtle wink before turning away to return to the others.

A blush spread across your cheeks, “I-i will.” Is all you could muster up as you left towards where she pointed.

It didn't take you long to find him, though you were sure he was purposely making it harder for anyone to find him. You could see the guilt in his face as he sat on a fallen tree trunk, his gaze set on the sunset.

“Zevlor? Why are you out here all alone?” Your voice was so soft, filled with concern as you approached the commander.

Zevlor's head sunk, his eyes never meeting yours, “I'm terribly sorry, Tav,” he began, his voice thick with regret, “What happened to you today... I can't help but feel responsible. If I was stronger, if I wasn't so afraid to leave my people unprotected...”

You stepped forward, closing the distance between the two of you. Reaching out, your fingers gently tilting his chin so he had to look at you. “It's okay,”your eyes never leaving his, a small smile appearing on your lips, “You shouldn’t worry. I wanted to do this for your people… I wanted to do it for you.” Your thumb grazed along his bottom lip, his skin was warm beneath your fingertips, your other hand gently stroking the side of his face, your voice low and breathy, “I'd do anything for you... Zevlor”

You looked like a true goddess, the light of the setting sun illuminated your features, the breeze causing a few strands of your hair to come undone from the rest. Your hand was so soft against his cheek. Your lips were glossed, and those eyes of yours, by the gods they were so genuine and filled with a passion he hadn’t seen in a long time. He was drawn in, leaning into your touch, his lips parted as he spoke, “Tav... I- you-“

Cupping his face, “it’s okay,” you whispered softly before your lips met his.

…

Aradin had heard about your successful return, how you had managed to fight your way through the goblin camp. His heart swelled with relief and something else, something deeper that had been fermenting in the shadow of his thoughts for quite some time now since meeting you.

The adventurer sought you out, his eyes scanning the familiar hellspawn faces of the grove… Bloody horns were the reason you had returned with an injury. Their hell leader being the one that tricked you to do his dirty work for him…Aradin’s jaw tensed at the thought. He had heard about how Zevlor had sent you out on your own. He had heard how the commander had not even the slightest intention of joining you, and Aradin's blood boiled. Him and the other tieflings didn’t belong here, they were better off chained up and sent back to the hells of which they came.

“Bloody hellspawns, they shouldn't even be here, they're nothin but trouble.” He muttered under his breath as his eyes scanned the grove once more, searching for you.

Nothing. You were nowhere to be found.

His anger was growing, his patience dwindling, when suddenly he realized that perhaps you left the grove again. The thought of you out there, in the danger of the forest alone, “hells…” he cursed before storming towards the woods.

Aradin didn’t have to venture too far outside the grove before he heard a scream, your scream to be exact. His feet moved quickly as his heart pounded, fearing the worst. His heart sank as he approached the source of the scream, he just now remembered that the damn hellspawn named Zevlor wasn’t in the grove either. Images of your bloody body on the ground next to the tielfing flooded his thoughts and in seconds he had his blade ready.

Rage fueled his movements, when suddenly, his eyes fell on you. There you were, in the arms of the one he loathed the most, Zevlor. The coward who didn't deserve someone like you.

You were straddling him, his ridged cock halfway buried inside you, your body glistening with sweat.

“Z~Zevlor~!” Your moans were soft, your back arched as you bounced on his cock, your fingers buried in the tieflings tussled hair, “fu-please! I- You~ s’big~”

The hellrider groaned, his claws digging into the plump flesh of your ass as he helped you ride his cock. Your name falling from his lips, “Tav-“ his hips snapping to meet yours, causing his thick length to bottom out.

“S’big~ s-so meaty~” you whimper, your pussy fluttering around his shaft, your body shivering in his grasp. The sight of the two of you like this had Aradin’s cock painfully hard. He could see everything, your slick arousal dripping down Zevlor's veiny cock, how your sloppy cunt gripped the hellrider’s cock as you lifted your hips… And oh how you looked so fucked out as your hair clung to your face.

“H-hells…,” Zevlor moans, his chest rising and falling as he watches you pleasure yourself on his cock.

“Zev~ please~” You beg, your nails digging into his shoulder, your body aching for release, “I-I wanna cum!” Tearspricked the corners of your eyes as you cried out, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix so good, “W-wan’ you~ cum n’side till’ preg-nant” you gasp, your thighs trembling.

Aradin couldn't help but stare at the way your juices squirted from your pussy, watching the way the slick pooled and clung to the tieflings sack. Fuck, he had never seen such a slutty cunt, nor had he ever imagined a woman, let alone you would crave the seed of a hellspawn.

He was torn.

Torn between the need to tear you off Zevlor and have his way with you, and the need to just fuck himself senseless at the sight of your debauchery.

“Fuck!” He growled, his hand palming his hardened length through his trousers, the need to pleasure himself becoming a priority.

Zevlor's breathing became heavier, “D-don’t say such thing- m-my dear-“ he lifted you up, your back hitting the forest floor softly. A small whimper leaving your lips as his cock left your cunt, his hands moving to the back of your knees, spreading you wide, before pressing his tip to your quivering hole, “an old soul such as me- would only dream of such a thing. T-this- I don't- deserve-“

Your hand reached up, cupping his face, a smile pulling at your swollen lips, “Y-you deserve it, d-deserve everything~” your leg slid up the side of his hip, hooking over his waist, the back of your ankle resting against his ass, your hand gripping one of his horns, pulling him down so that his lips were hovering over yours, “make me yours~” your voice was like silk, your eyes half lidded, a look of pure lust consuming you.

A groan rumbled in the back of his throat, “I can only pray you never grow tired of this worn tiefling,” his tongue snaking out to lick at his fangs, his body trembling. With a tender smile, his cock was pressing into you once more, his hips snapping, the entirety of his girth filling your pussy in a single thrust, a loud gasp leaving you.

“N-never~!”

Aradin bit his bottom lip, his cock aching in his hand, the sight before him had him panting, his eyes fixated on your face.

You threw your head back, mouth hanging open as Zevlor stretched you, his size was impressive. Despite riding him for what felt like hours your cunt still wasn’t adjusted to him. Your legs quivered, your back arched off the forest floor, your free hand gripping the dirt and leaves as the commander began pounding into your sloppy cunt. His tail wrapping around one of your legs, “you have such a sweet voice, moan for me again my dear.”

You obliged, “Don't stop~ Zev~lor~”

His grip tightening, his pace fast and relentless, just how you wanted it. Every snap of his hips drives his cock deeper, making your eyes roll back in your head and your body shake. Each time his thick veins and ridges rub over the over sensitive bundle of nerves within you, a wave of pleasure crashes over your mind, wiping out any coherent thoughts.

It felt like he was stirring up your insides, making a mess of your guts and marking you as his just as you begged.

“Cu-Cum~ n’side pwfh’lease!”

Aradin grunted, he could feel his own release building.

“O-Oh gods, Tav,” Zevlor moaned, his pace becoming sloppy, his balls tightening. The sight of you, a complete mess, begging for a him to fill you, it was almost enough to push him over the edge, until he saw your injured arm… “i- Tav- I can’t- I don-t deserv-“

Your body tensed, your cunt squeezing his cock, milking him for his seed, “I-I love you~”

Zevlor’s eyes widened, “Wh-what? T-Trul~ argh~!” his cock throbbing inside of you, his cum flooding your womb. Those words were all it took…

You trembled beneath him, your own climax washing over you, “love you Zevlor~!!!!”

Aradin gasped, his seed spilling from his cock and into his hands and onto the forest flooring… He watched as the hellspawn kept himself from falling on top of you, his hands on either side of your head. His eyes shut tight as he continued to cum, his face a deeper red than normal, fangs bared, his hips slowly rocking. He watched as the tiefling’s spent cock slowly slipped from you, his seed leaking from your gaping hole. You looked absolutely spent, your skin slick with sweat, your chest rising and falling as you tried to catch your breath.

He could hear your whimpers, how you were begging the commander to not leave you, to hold you. How could he deny you such a thing? He watched as Zevlor pulled you into his lap, his tail wrapped around you protectively. The hellspawn held you close, his lips kissing along your face, whispering words Aradin couldn't make out, before his lips pressed to yours.

Aradin stood there, unable to move, his body weak from his release, his heart feeling heavy in his chest.

You were in love with a devil, and it was clear this devil wouldn’t let you go, spilling his seed into you till you were good and pregnant.

He watched as Zevlor and you buried your faces into one another, the way he was holding you so tenderly, the way his tail flicked every so often, the way you clung to him… Even if Aradin wanted to jump out and point his sword at the tiefling , there was no way in hells you’d allow it.

A bitter chuckle left him, before he turned and made his way back towards the grove, his hands covered in his seed. He couldn't help but feel like he had been the real fool this entire time, he was so sure he would be the one to claim your heart, not a cowardly hellspawn.

[avaf00rd]

you’re like 30

Leah Williamson x Reader

I wanted to get my tillies fic out tonight but I feel so sick but I still wanted to write. Here is this short asf Leah piece!!!

————————————————————————

You woke up to Leah’s arms tightly around your torso, you being her little spoon as you slept on your left side of the bed. It was Leah’s birthday today and you couldn’t be more excited. You very gently peeled the last arm off of you waist, and slightly shifted her leg back that was hoisted over your legs to hold you closer.

You went down the hall after quietly creeping out, grabbing your bag of presents you had put on the dining room table, all nicely wrapped and also turning on your coffee machine, making yourself one and getting Leah a hot chocolate from the machine also. While the coffee was being made you decided to quickly post Leah’s birthday post on instagram that you both did for each other every year, consitisting of old and new photos of each other.

@y/n.y/l/n

happy 27th my precious girl. Thanks for being my whole world. So happy to be with you on your day, I hope it’s one to remember my love. Love you forever and always ⭐️ 🍾 @leahwilliamson

you quickly posted it before you heard Leah’s footsteps come up behind you. “No no baby go back to bed please” you smiled

“I’m already up” she shrugged still half asleep “happy birthday to me” she smiled, saying the part that you missed.

“Oh of course” you said gently grabbing her neck so you could give her a long morning kiss “happy birthday baby” you said softly before kissing her again. You handed her a mug before she thanked you and you brought her over to the living room.

You handed her a large bag that would sit up to your waist if you put in on the ground.

“What on earth” your girlfriend laughed

“There’s nothing crazy big. There was just a lot and it felt reasonable” you said motioning to the size

She unwrapped multiple presents from you. Like a new cowboy hat that you knew she would adore, an iPad for her piano app (well hopefully you didn’t spend that money just for that but the piano is an option), heaps of clothes from new and nice brands that she fell in love with, some random and silly gadgets you found online and while scrolling on instagram, and two new records - an old vintage record name ‘greatest hits of ‘75’ and a country hits one.

She gave you multiple hugs kisses after opening each gift. “Stop getting me so much” she teased, tickling into your side while you laid in her arms on the couch, wrapping paper surrounding you as you squirming under her touch.

“Never!” You exclaimed. “Wait was your card in there?” You asked her remembering she hadn’t opened it.

She peeked back in the gift bag “don’t see one honey”

“Hang on” you said, getting out of her arms and heading up to your shared room to grab it. “Here” you smiled excitedly as your threw the card on her lap before sitting next to her, head leaning now on her shoulder.

dear Leah

My old girl is getting older now

You mean everything on this planet to me and even further into the universe. I wouldn’t want to wake up next to a more sweeter, genuine, prettier, passionate, hotter and loving woman than you my Leah.

Thank you for being there for me when times were lower than usual, and I’m so proud of all of your achievements, it gets me emotional thinking of your beautiful and amazing career.

Love you to the moon and back and I hope you have the best day

Love your girl y/n xoxoxoxo

You studied her face as she read it, not quite being able to see her facial expressions from the next to the girl. When she finally looked up from the paper she brought her hand up to her eye to wipe it. “Oh baby thank you” she chuckled pulling you on top of her so you could cuddle into her,

“Of course” you smiled in the crook of her next “happy birthday I love you”

“I love you. And your old girl huh?” She said raising an eyebrow

“Yeah you’re getting old” you smiled shrugging, looking down at your smiling blonde.

“Your 26 and I’m 27. I was your age yesterday” she laughed

“Your like 30 basically. Maybe it’s time you settle down” you shrugged in a joking way “scratch the current plan you carry the children and I’ll be the grumpy dad who goes to work” you giggled

“Hm let’s take it day by day huh. And stick to our decision. And no one is giving up their career yet” she told you, wide grin still plastered on her face.

“Smart. Ok now read the second paper in the thing” you said pointing at the envelope before clapping your hands in excitement.

She pulled out an A4 piece of paper with some sort of writing printed out and an image of skydivers. “Oh my we are going sky diving?” She laughed throwing her head back

“Close. Bungee jumping. I printed out the wrong photo”

“That’s scary” she said cutely before you pinched her cheeks

“No we get to do it together. We are like connected together and get to jump together” you exclaimed. You loved heights. Leah didn’t mind them, you wouldn’t have gotten the experience if she didn’t like them. “Plus it’s way more safer than skydiving so” you shrugged looking back down at her.

“I love you and thank you. I’m excited to do it with you” she smiled kissing your lips slowly.

“Goody cause it’s tomorrow!” You said happily

“What!“

—————————

Super short but I’ll start my draft for the fic you guys asked for tomorrow.

Love you! Stay nice in the requests and have the best day xxx

[russellsppttemplates]

Hey! Love your writing specially your Lando pieces. I have a request where for him, if thats ok(my english is not good, so i hope you understand). y/n loves Lando's smell/scent, and she always calm down with it. Like, when she's nervous or feeling anxious or on the birth of their babies, his smell always have a way of calmig her down and makes her feel better.

Note: thank you! 🫶 english is not my first language either, don't worry!

Cw: mentions childbirth

"I need to send these to the social media team before they chop my neck off - and my laptop decided it doesn't want to work anymore! Just my luck!", you groaned, typing all the shortcuts you remembered to work what you needed to.

"Baby, Y/N - calm down, will you?", Lando walked up to you and rubbed your shoulders with his hands, kissing the top of your head, "you still have some time and I know they won't mind if it's a little later than usual - they'll understand", he soothed, letting his hands fall on your chest.

"You smell nice, I like your smell", you mumbled, kissing his wrist and rubbing your nose on his sleeve, "it's sort of soothing actually".

"I've noticed it before - your heartbeat always slows down whenever you sniff me", your boyfriend mumbled, "I find it cute actually", he smiled against your neck.

.

"I need to examine you, Y/N, so I can check how far along it the labour you are", your midwife Amelia said as you groaned, not liking the idea of having to change into a possibly uncomfortable position now that you had found the right one.

"I'll help you, lovie, here", Lando held you, letting your face hide on his neck as he squatted slightly, giving the midwife the right angle to feel you.

"Are you experiencing breathing issues, Y/N?", Amelia wondered as she noticed your deep breaths.

"No, it's good, I'm good", you assured, "Lando's scent is calming, it's good to smell".

"It's a good thing she didn't call me stinky or any other names, I guess", your husband joked, hoping he'd get one of your sweet giggles out of you, succeeding in it, "see? There's that beautiful smile I love", he cooed.

.

"Hello, Matilda!", Charles said as he arrived to the track at the same time as you, Alexandra carrying Leo in the small bag and catching your daughter's attention, "Do you want to pet Leo?",.

"Can I?", your little girl beamed, hands already stretched out to touch the furry dog, Alexandra helping her by placing one of her hands on Leo too so the dog had some familiar touch too.

"He's smelling you to recognise you are his friend, Tilly", Alexandra offered, smiling at the way the small dachshund puppy's curious nose was on Matilda's clothes and then licking her cheek.

"Mummy does that too, with daddy!", your daughter blurted out, "like this!", she exemplified, exaggerating on the breaths she was taking as she sniffed the air around her.

"Thank you for the accurate description, princess", you chuckled.

(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)

[golden-rolling-hills]

here’s a chaotic list of random notes i took last night on the way home from the show

- brody makes A LOT of eye contact

- he pointed at me and smiled and giggled a bit when i was mouthing the words to him while he was sitting next to me

- victor loves his middle finger, he was flipping everyone off for most of the time he was on stage in tulsa 67

- brent is so funny to watch on the side of ggah

- he kept making snarky little remarks to himself

- he specifically said “sodas gotta watch his mouth” really loudly after sodas verse

- he fixed dans necklace at one point for him 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

- dan was soooo touchy with brent and brody tonight

- the way brent threw himself into dans arms after titt made me sob

- also the way dan was holding brody on the ground after johnnys death

- i actually couldn’t breathe

- tilly screamed “get off of me” sooooo loudly at the start of the rumble

- brody kept adjusting his wig during act 2

- at the end of the rumble when it was blackout, dan stuck his hand off the stage and fist bumped one of the girls in the group next to me

- i thought rj was going to kick me in the face during the rumble, he came very very close a few times

- josh boone was robbed of that tony

- i was actually shaking and hyperventilating during little brother

- i kept looking at brody during scenes where he was just observing on the jungle gym and wasn’t actually apart of and he could definitely feel me watching him because he made DIRECT eye contact with me a few times 😳

- josh boone is SO funny during the drive in scene

- no one ate any of the food last night

- brody and emma were dancing during bows again 🥺🥺🥺

- melody and barton really are in their own little world during the drive in

- they whisper in each others ears a lot, bev and brill are soooo toxicly codependent couple coded

- brent confirmed at the stage door that he’s 6’3

- i had a conversation at the sd with victor about us being from the same state (one of my friends is from the same town as him and he went to college with my brothers girlfriend)

- i gave dan and melody the magnets i made

- dan is the absolute nicest person ive ever met in my life i swear he’s such a sweetheart.

- melody actually screamed when i gave her the magnets because she remembered the dan gary edit from when she reposted it to her story months ago and said it’s her favorite dan berry magnet yet 😭🤪😳

- brent was crying for like all of act 2 last night

[skylarsblue]

★RDR2 Incorrect Quotes★

(If you see duplicates from my COD version of these? Shh, no you didn't) ★Border made by @fairytopea★

Ms.Grimshaw What are you doing, you oaf? Young!Arthur, staring at Y/N: They’re pretty. Ms.Grimshaw …and you’re ugly, now get back to work.

- (Pre-joining the gang) Abigail, trying to get paid: What’s your favorite color, John? John: Blue. No, green. Abigail: Awesome! I love learning about you. John: I fucked up, it’s yellow.

- Arthur, cutting a huge knot out of John’s hair: I fucked up, we gotta go bald. *head locks him still* Young!John, flailing violently: WAAAAAHHHH-

Seán: Psst, Lenny, ay mate, wake up! Lenny: Huh- Wh-what? What is it? Seán: I heard something outside the tent. Lenny: What? Seán: Like a woman crying in the distance, but I couldn’t hear her footsteps. Lenny: Okay?? What do you want me to do? Seán: Come look with me! Lenny: Hell no! Seán: Why not? Lenny: I got too much melanin and too much sense for that white people shit. You wanna let demons get you, be my guest, leave me out of it.

- (John HAD to have SOMETHING that captivated her, for humor’s sake? We’ll say he had jokes)

Abigail: You have to find my darling husband, I’m so worried about him. Arthur: Seriously, what do you see in that guy? Abigail: He makes me laugh.

- Micha: I've got the urge to say something. Arthur: And what's that? Micha: The N-Word- Arthur: WHOA-

- Bill: But seriously, is it your whole emo thing that she’s into or what? John: …yeah, long flowing straight hair, very emo.

- Karen: This- Hmm. Tilly: Be nice. Karen: I’m findin’ it. Mary-Beth: …it takes you that long to find- Karen: It does, it does.

- (O’Driscoll troubles) Kieran: Arthur we’re going to get murdered. We’re going to get murdered by a man who can’t tie a fucking bow tie. Arthur: At least he won’t torture us, can’t tie a rope either.

- John: Ugh, you know they’re gonna make us do one of those tacky family happiness photos that comes in the restaurants shitty frame. Tilly: Why are you so fucking negative all the time? John: Wh- uh- I just- Arthur: *slowly sucks tea through straw*

- Seán: Someone just said; “You’re a criminal!” Seán: *handkerchief on, gun in one hand, bag of money in the other* Seán: Well I’ll tell ya what, Sherlock Holmes. You are unbelievable.

- The Gang: Arthur is dying and Micha is a rat! Dutch, dancing with money: *insert that audio that goes “I don’t give a fuck cause I’m a ✨millionaire✨, I do what I want, middle finger in the air!”*

- John, drunk: You think the wind is ever tryna tell us something and we don’t know how to hear it anymore? Charles, loading up a drunk Arthur into a wagon: I just want you to stop saying odd shit.

- Abigail: If we lose, I’m gonna cut the judge. John: Wh- you brought your switchblade?? Abigail: Mhm. John: But they patted us down on the way in, where did you hide i- ohhhhhhh.

- Arthur: …you ever wish you could just, turn into a bird and fly away from everything? Charles: I think we need to get you to a therapist for depression. John: I’d wanna be a wolf. Charles: And we should get you psych evaluation for Autism.

- Sheriff: You seem like a reasonable and good natured person. Arthur: *looks around* And you look like you need glasses.

- Abigail: What would your father say?! Jack: Uhhh “I’ll fix it!” And then make it worse until luck comes around and makes it work, and then act like that was the plan the whole time? Abigail: …that’s my bad, I should’ve used a different phrase to express my disappointment.

- (I dunno why but John being super mean to some people is so fucking funny to me. I don't hate Bill, but bullying him is fun)

Bill: You enjoyin’ the wife everyone else paid to have? John: You mean the woman I never had to pay for? The woman who liked me so much, she didn’t ask for any money to sleep with me? In fact; she liked me so much, she married me? The woman who makes me a warm dinner and kisses me everyday? Mother of my child? John: I am enjoyin’ yeah. What about you, Bill? Bill: John: You enjoyin’ your lonely life, you unlovable sorry sack of shit? You enjoyin’ having to pay for someone to pretend they like you? Cause they never actually do. They hate you actually, like me. I hate you. Eat shit and die, Bill.

- Arthur: …him? Really? Mary-Beth Don’t be mean! Arthur: He looks like a rescue dog, Mary-Beth. Mary-Beth: I know, I like that! Arthur: ….you like that?? Mary-Beth: His pathetic wet eyes and general wimpy stature have captivated me. Arthur: *sigh* Whatever makes you happy.

- Bill: At the end of the day, Arthur. I am a MAN. Arthur: A MAN WHO’S GAY. You like fellers GETTHATTHROUGHYOURHEAD!

- Dutch: I have a plan. Hosea: You haven’t planned shit. Dutch: I’ve planned it.

- Hosea: Arthur! What on earth are you doing?! Young!Arthur: Getting rid of this demon. Young!John: *screeching and trying to get out of Arthur’s grip* Hosea: And why do you plan to get rid of him? Arthur: Because, Hosea! He woke me up by leaning over me and whispering, “I know what death feels like, it’s cold. Have you felt death?” Arthur: HE’S CLEARLY EVIL, HOSEA Hosea: That’s just how children are, Arthur. Dutch: He’s right son, put the boy down. Dutch, leaning and whispering to Hosea: But maybe we should buy a Bible just in case. Hosea: And a cross.

- (Modern au and suicide joke)

John: It’s not a phase! It’s a lifestyle, you just wouldn’t get it! Arthur: You think I didn’t go through the “I can’t tell if I want to kill myself or everyone around me” phase? Come on. John: What? I don’t wanna kill myself at all. Arthur: … John: … John: Should I- should we go talk to Hose- Arthur: We should forget this conversation happened. Take this Nirvana CD and keep your mouth shut.

- Abigail: …John. John: Yes, my angel? Abigail: You forgot something. John: No I didn’t! I took the list with me, checked it three times, even crossed things off when I put it in the cart! See, look. Apples, frozen hamhocks, cranberry juice- Abigail: John. You took Jack with you. John: Abigail: John: Abigail: John: SHIT I LEFT HIM BY THE PASTA SECTION Abigail: STOP STANDING THERE AND GO GET HIM!

- Jack: Pa, how did you get mom to marry you? John: Well son, I- John: John: I have no idea. Jack: Should I ask mom? John: I’ll be honest, I don’t think she knows the answer either.

- Charles: You did good back there. Arthur: Oh? Heh, nah, you did all the fancy stuff. I just helped. Charles: Don’t undersell yourself, Arthur. I wouldn’t be complimenting you for no reason. Arthur: Oh yeah? And here I thought you were just trying to fluff up my ego. Charles: Wouldn’t hurt to do when you work so hard, no? Arthur: Now you’re just being’ sweet- John: Can y’all wait til we’re done before you start your spiritual dick sucking? Arthur: Can you repent to the lord fast enough to save your soul in the time it’ll take me to throw you into the damn ocean, Marston?!

- Arthur: Do you even have a brain? John: Do you even have someone that loves you? Arthur: John: John: I heard it that time, I’m sorry. Arthur: This is what Abigail hears sometimes, just so you know. John: I heard it that time, I got it. I- I’ll just- Arthur: Whiskey, full bottle. The nice kind. John: Apology alcohol, got it.

-

NPC: My husband’s parents are so crazy. In-laws always are, huh? Abigail: Well, uh-

*John being an orphan* *John’s adoptive dads being criminals, one particularly off his rocker*

Abigail: ….aha, yeah;;

- Abigail: John Marston, you useless, foolish, stupid man! Bill: To hell with John! Abigail, suddenly with a very large gun: NO ONE INSULTS MY HUSBAND.

- Arthur, holding up a proper painting he actually put time and effort into: Could a depressed person make this? Charles: The painting: *a wolf in the rain laying it’s head over the body of a deer shot with an arrow* Charles: I’m, in fact, more convinced you have depression now. Arthur: …yeah this wasn’t the best evidence for my argument, huh? Charles: No. Not at all.

- John: What are you talking about? That’s completely normal, it’s like having opinions. just cause it doesn’t happen to you doesn’t mean- Tilly: No, John! No. It’s not normal to have that reaction to the sound of hearing metal on metal. John: No look, uh- Arthur! Arthur come here! Arthur: What now? John: What happens when you hear metal on metal? Like, a can bein’ rubbed with a knife. Arthur: Ugh, I hate that sound. It makes my damn skin crawl, like I got beetles underneath. Makes me wanna skin myself to get’em out. John: Right! See, Tilly? It’s not just me! Tilly: ????

Charles: …and you never got them evaluated? Hosea: In hindsight, an autistic diagnosis probably would’ve made more things make sense. But, what can ya do.

- Arthur after a dog didn’t positively react to him: Maybe this is my final straw. Charles: No. Arthur: It might be. Charles: It’s one dog. There are twenty that you stopped to pet along the way here, plenty more for you to pet after this. Arthur: You don’t understand, this is devastatin’. Charles: Arthur, please- Arthur: Utterly devastatin’, Charles.

- Arthur, tipsy: Just cause you’re gorgeous don’t mean I’ma do whatever you say. Charles: Drink the water, Arthur. Arthur: *grabs the glass* Yes, sir.

- (Got a Y/N one, also, modern Au)

Arthur: That’s the Aberdeen farm. Y/N: …what’s wrong with it? Arthur: What’cha mean? Y/N: The vibes, they’re off. Arthur: …the…vibes? Y/N: The energy, Mister Morgan. The vibe of the place. They’re off, they’re weird, wack even. I sense insidious and wretched wavelengths wafting from the aura of that property. Arthur: I see…well, to answer your question, it’s cause they are weird. And I ain’t even confirmed why cause I don’t really wanna know. Y/N: I see you can also sense the vibes are rank. Arthur: …sure, whatever that means.

- Micha: Well I think- Y/N: Well I’m certain no one fucking asked, Micha! Not a single damn person asked what the hell you thought, ever! In fact, I’m pretty sure you don’t think. I’m pretty sure your skull fills with all the bullshit in your organs, and it just spills out your mouth! Micha: Micha: I- Y/N: Shut up, Micha!

- Arthur, after Albert explains some super dangerous plan in order to get wild animals near him to photograph: You’re stupid, I like that in a man.

- Y/N: Bye Arthur, bye Karen, bye Hosea, bye Arthur. Sadie: You said ‘bye Arthur’ twice. Y/N: I like Arthur.

- NPC: Lovebirds, eh? Sadie: Arthur: Sadie: I’d rather eat a poison ivy plant with Holly Berries for dressing. *looks at Arthur* No offense. Arthur: No no, none taken. All things considered, I’d rather dive into a pit of tar and then drag myself face first through a plain of rotten chitlins. Sadie: Completely fair!

- Bill: I need you to realize you ain’t in charge here. Y/N: I need you to realize I don’t give a shit.

- Arthur: Hey Charles, uh, I got an Uhm…a spiritual question. Charles: Any particular reason you chose to ask me? Arthur: Uh well- I didn’t mean for it to be like that- I just- Charles: *sigh* What is it? Arthur: Do you know what it means when an elk stands up on its back legs? Charles: That means- Charles: WE SHOULD LEAVE, we need to leave, that’s what that means!

- Jack: …why are your boobs so big? Charles: They’re not boobs. Jack: Do you have to wear a brasier? Charles: *sigh* Arthur: He asked me the same thing a couple weeks ago, don’t think to hard bout it.

-

(Story spoilers!!) Y/N: I'm sorry, let me get this straight. Y/N: You picked up that man when he was a destitute child, grieving and starving. Taught him almost everything he knows. Y/N: Then, you did that with, what? Three others? In similar circumstances? Y/N: Created a sense of family and community, a strong bond between so many misfortuned people. With your trustworthy long term friend by your side. Y/N: And then. Y/N: One RAT. WHO IS OPENLY ANTAGONISTIC AND REEKS OF SUSPICION AS MUCH AS HE DOES HORSE SHIT, SOMEHOW CONVINCES YOU TO GO OFF YOUR ROCKER AND HARM YOUR GANG?! Y/N: Explain! Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: He praised me- Y/N: YOUR PRAISE KINK GOT YOU TO AIM A GUN AT YOUR SONS????

- Arthur: Naaah they’re an angel. Lenny: They punched Bill in the face. Seán: They told Strauss he was a waste of human material, in his own language, which they’re not fluent in. Mary-Beth: They framed Micha for a crime and got him put in prison again. Arthur: Like I said, an angel!

- John: Woman. (Translation: Darling.) Abigail: Moron. (Translation: Lovebug.)

Arthur: You tellin’ me they’re being affectionate right now? Jack: Can’t’cha read subtext, Uncle Arthur? Arthur: ???

-

(Insert Alcohol is truth serum reference)

Drunk Bill: Not to be gay, but you’re gorgeous bro. Kieran, afraid: You don’t have to be gay to appreciate a man’s beauty. Absolutely shit-faced Bill: Nah, like I’d fuck you, bro. Kieran, terrified: Okay, never mind!

- (How I imagine their first couple years together went)

Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: How do you feel about me? Hosea, naked & beside him: ….we’re sharin’ a bedroll, Dutch. Dutch: Yes, but what are we, Hosea? Hosea: ….we’re both naked, alone, in a tent, Dutch. Dutch: That doesn’t answer my question. Hosea:

- (This one's sad, not funny, sorry-) John: You’re such a hypocrite, why is it that anything I do that you’ve done before that you get so bent outta shape?! Arthur: Because I’ve done it before you, John. John: So why do you think it’s fair to tell me not to?! Most people are proud when their younger brother ends up like’em. You don’t want anyone like you, is that it? Arthur: John: John: …oh. Arthur: Now that you got my point, will you take my god damn advice without a big fuss…please.

- John: She drives me insane! She somehow managed to make me the angriest I’ve ever been almost daily. NPC: Then leave her. John: The fu- no. What? She’s the wind beneath my wings, my darling wife, my beautiful angel. How the hell could you even think to suggest such a thing? NPC: But- John: Get outta my sight, you fuckin’ disgrace.