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maddyjones2 · 9 months ago

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On not idolising creative people

In the wake of the various recent allegations involving Neil Gaiman, people have been both very sad that someone who they looked up to as an inspiration has, allegedly, turned out to be something less than entirely admirable, and are now looking to see who is now left that they can rotate into the spot of “the good dude,” i.e., that one successful creative guy who they think or at least hope isn’t hiding a cellar full of awful actions. One name I see brought up is mine, in ways ranging from “Well, at least we still have Scalzi,” to “Oh, God, please don’t let Scalzi be a fucking creep too.” Which, uhhhh, yeah? Thanks?

I have many thoughts about this and I’m going to try to make sense of them here, as much for myself as anyone else, so this may be messy and discursive and long (seriously, 3600 words, y’all), but, well, welcome to me. So, ordered by how these things come out of my head:

1. Stop Idolizing Creative People. Creative people are easy to idolize because they create the art you love, and that gives you permission to feel things, and to see yourself and your desires reflected in that art. That is a powerful thing, and from the outside, it can feel like magic, and that the people who do it are tapped into something otherworldly and admirable. Plus, they often get to have cool lives and get to know other cool creative people. They do things that are removed from the day-to-day aspect of a “normal” life, and they’ll even post about them on social media where you can see them. Sometimes, independent of their art directly, they’ll speak about their life, or life in general, and they’ll seem wise and considered and kind. I mean, what’s not to like?

But please consider that this is all an extremely mediated experience of this person. The art is the edited and massaged result of hours and days and weeks and months of work, into which the work of many others is also added. My novels originate from me, but it’s not just me in there, nor is the final form of the novel an accurate statement of who I am as a person, not least of all for the simple reason that I am not trying to tell my story in my novels. I’m creating fictional characters, and the world in which they make sense, for the purpose of the story.

Despite how it might look from the outside, this is not sorcery. It’s years of experience at a craft. It’s not magic, just work. A completed novel (or any other piece of art) won’t tell you much about the specific, day-to-day life and inclinations of the individual who made it, other than a general nod toward their competence, and the competence of their collaborators. Likewise what you see of their lives, even from the illusorily close vantage of social media, is deeply mediated. Lives always look admirable at a distance, when you can only see the lofty peaks and not the rubble at the base — especially when your attention by design is pointed at those lofty peaks. There’s much you don’t see and that you’re not meant to see. The vast majority of what you’re not meant to see isn’t nefarious. It’s just not your business.

Now, before I was a professional creative person, I was an entertainment journalist who spent years interviewing writers, directors, movie stars, musicians, authors and other creative folks. Since I’ve been on the other side of the rope, I’ve likewise met a huge range of creative people from all walks of life. Please believe me when I assure you that creative people are just people. Richer and/or more famous? Sometimes (less often than you might think, though). Prettier and/or more charismatic? Especially if they’re actors or pop stars, often yes! But at the end of the day they are just folks, and they run the whole range of how people are. By and large, the day-to-day experience of getting through their life is the same as yours. Outside of their own specific field of work, they don’t know any more about life, have no more facility for dealing with the world, and have just as few clues about what’s going on in their own head, as anyone else.

They’re just people. Whose work is making the stuff you like! And that’s great, but that’s not a substantive basis for idolizing them. It makes no more sense to idolize them than to idolize a baker who makes cookies you like, or the guy who comes and trims your hedges the way you want them to be trimmed, or the plumber who fixes your clogged drain. You can appreciate what they do, and even admire they skill they have. But holding them up as a life model might be a bit much. Which is the point! If you’re not willing to idolize a plumber, then you shouldn’t idolize a creative person.

(“But a plumber doesn’t make me feel like a creative person does,” you say, to which I say, are you sure about that? Because I will tell you what, when my sump pump stopped working and the plumber got in there, replaced the pump and started draining out my basement which had an inch of standing water in it, that man was the focus of all my emotions and was my goddamned hero that day. My plumber that day did more for me than easily 90% of the great art I’ve ever experienced.)

Enjoy the art creative people do. Enjoy the experience of them in the mediated version of them you get online and elsewhere, if such is your joy. But remember that the art is from the artist, not the artist themselves, and the version of their life you see is usually just the version they choose to show. There is so much you don’t see, and so much you’re not meant to see. At the end of the day, you don’t have all the information about who they are that you would need to make them your idol, or someone you might choose to, in some significant way, pattern some fraction of your life on. And anyway creative people aren’t any better at life than anyone else.

Which brings up the next point:

2. Fuck idols anyway! People are complicated and contradictory and you don’t know everything about them! You don’t know everything even about your parents or siblings or best friends or your partner! People are hypocrites and liars and fail to live up to their own standards for themselves, much less yours! Your version of them in your head will always be different than the version that actually exists in the world! Because you’re not them! Stop pretending people won’t be fuck ups! They will! Always!

This sounds more pessimistic about humans than perhaps it should be. When I say, for example, that people are hypocrites and liars, I don’t mean that people take every single opportunity to be hypocrites and liars. Most people are decent in the moment. But none of us — not one! — has always lived up to our own standard of behavior, and all of us have had the moment where, when confronted with a situation that would become an immense pain in the ass if we stuck to our guns, or demanded the inconvenient truth, decided to just bail instead, because the situation wasn’t worth the drama, or we had somewhere else to be, or whatever. We all choose battles and we all make the call in the moment, and sometimes the call is, fuck this, I’m out.

Every person you’ve ever admired has fucked up, sometimes really badly. Everyone you’ve ever looked up to has secrets, and it’s possible some of those secrets would materially change how you think about them, not always for the better. Everyone you’ve ever known has things about them you don’t know, many of which aren’t even secrets, they’re just things you don’t engage with in your day-to-day experience of them. Nevertheless it’s possible if you were aware of them, it would change how you feel about them, for better or for worse. And now let’s flip that around! You have things about you that even your best friends don’t know, and might be surprised to learn! You have secrets you don’t wish to share with the class! You have fucked up, and lied, and have been a hypocrite too!

You are, in short, a human, as is everyone you know and every one you will know (pets and gregarious wild animals excepted). And all humans are, charitably, a mess. This doesn’t mean there aren’t good people or even exemplary people out there, since there are, along with the ones that are, charitably, a real shit show. What I am saying is that even the good or exemplary people out there are a mess, have been morally compromised at some point in their lives, and have not lived up to their own standards for themselves, independent of anyone else’s standard for them.

One of the aspects of being an “idol,” I think, is that higher standard that other people expect of you — that in every situation where the aspect they idolize you for is in play, you will act in a manner that is right and correct by their standard, which of course you will likely not know about because you don’t actually know them (or often know that they exist). This is, by definition, an impossible standard to be held to — you didn’t agree to it, or to engage with it — and an impossible standard to hold other people to without their direct consultation. Every human made to be an idol is destined to fail at the job. You don’t even have to have feet of clay! You just didn’t know you were on a pedestal to begin with.

(This does not excuse shitty action. The fact people should not be idols in the first place is not exculpatory for the choices one makes on one’s own. If you’re sexually assaulting people, or being a racist or sexist or homophobe or other flavor of bigot, or using your situational power coercively (as just a few examples), then hell yes you are going to be called out on it. And to be clear, it is not unreasonable, to put it mildly, to expect people not to sexually assault other people, or not to denigrate other humans for being who they are, etc. But this only adds to the point about idols, now, doesn’t it. You don’t know what you don’t see, and you don’t know what you’re not seeing, until it is hauled out into the light one way or the other. If it is hauled out into the light at all.)

I don’t think anyone should idolize anyone, ever. It’s not great for them, and it’s not great for you, they probably didn’t ask to be idolized (and if they did, holy shit, fucking run), and in the end unless you’re so completely wrapped up in their lives that they have no secrets from you — which is never — you don’t know enough to make that call. People do it anyway, and then disappointment happens, but they shouldn’t have done it in the first place. Stop idolizing people. It’s not fair for anyone.

What to do instead? Enjoy their work, if they’re a creative person. Appreciate the kind and good aspects of their life that you can see, and the decent actions they undertake in public, with the knowledge that what you see of them is a mediated and elided version. Understand that we all have a different version of ourself for every person we meet, and that every person we meet has a different vision of ourselves in their head, and very often, those two versions are not the same. Like them, based on what you know of them! Love them, if it comes to that. And when and if you learn something new about them that you didn’t know before, let empathy guide you to a new understanding of them and what they mean to you.

And now, taking all of the above into consideration:

3. Absolutely 100% do not idolize me. I don’t deserve to be idolized because no one deserves to be idolized, but also, holy fuck, I do know me and I’m a mess. There have been lots of things in my life that I’ve done that have not been admirable or kind. I can be petty and shitty and competitive and cruel. I am lazy and inattentive and when I let things slide (which is often), I end up jammed up on my responsibilities, which makes me irritable and no fun to be around. I have a temper which goes from zero to sixty almost instantaneously; if I’m not actively paying attention to it, I can become a sudden, unreasonable rage monster, which is a burden to people I love, and I hate that fact about myself (pro tip: don’t travel with me, the rage monster comes out a lot then).

I can be controlling and demanding but I want other people to handle the details, i.e., executive asshole. I am strategic in a way that can be bloodless. When I’m insecure I brag a lot, which is unflattering. If you cross me, I won’t go out of my way to make your life miserable (that would require effort on my part), but I will absolutely enjoy when you take a literal or metaphorical tumble down the stairs. God knows I’ve enjoyed the failures of the people who have spoken ill of me, almost as much as I’ve enjoyed the fuming, spittling rage they’ve felt when I’ve succeeded. I spent years cultivating a snarky persona online and while that was fun (for me), I’m increasingly aware that when the tally is added up for Who Ruined the Internet, I’m not necessarily going to be where I want to be on that particular ledger.

And these are only the bad qualities of mine I wish to admit to you at the moment. There are others, I assure you.

So, yes: Who wants to idolize me now?

“But you seemed so nice when I chatted with you online/met you at the convention/saw you at that one place that one time.” Well, thank you, I’ve been in the public eye in one manner or another for three and a half decades now and I understand my assignment; my public persona is friendly and engaging and sociable and mostly fun to be with. It’s not a fake version of me — I am all those things! Honest! — but, again, it’s a mediated version of me designed not only to be a positive experience for the people who meet me but also to get my actually introverted ass through a whole day of events at a convention/festival/book tour/whatever. When I’m done I collapse into an introverted hole. When I came back from Worldcon this week, I slept for 15 hours the first day I was home. It wasn’t just because of jet lag or con crud.

I rather famously call my public face “performance monkey mode,” and likewise what I say about my (current) online mode is that I’m cosplaying as a better version of myself, one that is kinder than I used to be online, and more patient than I am in the real world. If you meet me when I am “off” then you will find that, again, these versions of me are me, just with some things dialed up and other things dialed down. But even that is still a different version of me than, say, the version of me which is at home (which is in fact extremely boring; that version of me doesn’t talk much and mostly stays in my office).

Many of you who have followed me over the years are familiar with me saying things like this, of course, and are likewise familiar with me pointing out that there are a number of things about my life that I don’t mention in public, for whatever reasons I choose. But it’s also true that I’ve been actively online for 30+ years now, and people feel reasonably confident that they have a good bead on me and that there’s not much about me that will surprise them or change their understanding of me. So to bring home the point there are indeed things you don’t know, allow me to surface just one previously unaired fun fact:

I have a concealed carry license.

(Or did; it expired this year and I didn’t renew it, because Ohio changed its laws so that you no longer need a permit to conceal carry in the state. These days in Ohio you can just wander about with a handgun stuffed down your trousers without training or licensing because that’s a real good idea, now, isn’t it. Nevertheless, the license is not necessary anymore so there was not much point in renewing it, although if the law had not changed, I probably would have renewed.)

Why did I have a concealed carry license? Well, ultimately that’s not important. The point is I had one. I didn’t talk about it before because, among other things, the point of a concealed carry license (to me, anyway) is that its existence is not meant to be known by anyone other than that great state of Ohio itself. I am aware, and this is a dramatic understatement, that I am not a person most people would expect to have had such a thing. That the fact I had one will cause a number of people to reconsider what they know about me, for better or for worse. Which is also my point. All y’all have just learned this thing about me! Think about all the other things you don’t know!

Oh, God, this is where Scalzi starts admitting to terrible, terrible things. No. I feel pretty confident I live a tolerably ethical life. Part of the reason for this is that I have what I think is a decent operating principle, which is: If I’m thinking of doing something, and Krissy called me right then and asked “what are you doing?” and I would be tempted to lie to her about it, then I don’t do that thing. Because Krissy is the most important person in my life, and I don’t want to lie to her about what I’m doing (I have lied to her exactly once. She knew instantly. I haven’t bothered lying to her since). This is not replacing Krissy’s ethics with my own; it’s me knowing whether by my own ethics, I would be ashamed to tell to her what I am up to. It works very well. As such, the Krissy Test is an operating principle I highly suggest to others, although I’d suggest replacing Krissy with whomever your life is most important to you.

Be that as it may, my ethics are not universal and some others might not find them sufficient, for whatever reason. I am well aware I still disappoint many people, and that there are people who find my life choices, known positions or public statements (or lack of them, as the case may be) problematic, or who simply wish I would be other than what I am. I can’t help them with this, but again, this is the point. Given the fact that I am a fallible human who has an entire stratum of his life not visible to the world — and the strata of his life that are visible cause significant numbers of people to be irritated and exasperated — is it not better just to not hold me up as an ideal person, or the “good dude,” much less an idol of any sort?

I mean, shit. What Would John Scalzi Do? Solidly half the time, I have no fucking idea. I have to think about it, whatever it is. I have to think about whether I know enough to do or say something about it. I have to decide whether it’s something I want to engage with at all, and whether my engagement with it is something that would be of value to anyone, me included. I have to decide whether engaging with it is worth the shit I will get for it. And then I have to figure out what it means that I am engaging with it, since like it or not I’m a Dude of Reasonable Significance in My Field. I try to be a decent human, when people are looking at me and especially when they are not. But I also know me, and all my flaws and weaknesses and compromises.

What Would John Scalzi Do? The best he can, in the moment. Is that sufficient? For me, yes, most of the time. Is that sufficient for you? That’s up to you.

The point to this all is that people are just a big fucking mess, including the ones you might for whatever reason find admirable. I am no different than anyone else, and you should not be under the illusion that I am anything other than a shambling collection of flaws embedded inside a human form, which also, in its defense, has some pretty excellent qualities as well. We’re all this way! You too!

And while I want you to like my work, and to enjoy the version of me that you see here and elsewhere, don’t put me, or any other person, on a pedestal. Pedestals are wobbly and and don’t give actual humans a lot of room to move. We will inevitably fall off. Keep us with our feet on the ground. That way, when we stumble, there’s a chance we can get back up, and keep going.

— JS

#good omens #david tennant #michael sheen #neil gaiman allegations

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satoruiasis · 2 months ago

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Gojo Satoru Is Not a K-pop Idol (Mostly): How Akgae Culture Shaped Gojo-Only Fans and Their View of Shipping

I guess this is my first post on here lol. Here goes.

Prefacing this with not all Gojo stans, and not all kpop stans. I do not want to cause drama or discourse, and there are fans of characters other than Gojo who give their faves this same treatment. This is in fact a fandom-wide pattern overall that’s just brought to a head by the fact that Gojo is the it boy of the moment and is practically more famous than JJK itself, and has essentially developed a fandom of his own, and therefore this effect is particularly strong/noticeable in how certain corners of the fandom interact with Gojo. These are purely my own musings on things I’ve observed in the fandom, and I mean no ill will towards anyone. I’m just trying to explain why some Gojo fans seem to hate Geto despite shipping Gojo with Geto.

Ok so basically a lot of Gojo stans are also K-pop stans, who, before being into JJK were mostly involved in K-pop fandoms. More specifically, they’re akgaes, aka solo stans. Akgaes are fans of one specific member of the group, but not the whole group in general or the other members. Think of someone who likes Jungkook but not the rest of BTS. In a similar way, there are a lot of Gojo fans who aren’t fans of JJK, just Gojo.

These fans essentially treat Gojo as an idol they stan, and not as a fictional character. So they’re extremely aggressive about “defending” Gojo from anyone implying he has character flaws because they’re not defending a well-written and complex fictional character, they’re defending the reputation of their idol. The way they interact with fandom is extremely different. Pointing out nuances of the character, like saying Gojo is morally grey, is equivalent to calling their idol a bad person, as opposed to him being a complex character with diverse motives who doesn’t always make “pure” choices. Quite bluntly, he’s in charge of recruiting and training a bunch of child soldiers who he knowingly sends into physically dangerous situations, which is an intrinsically morally complicated position.

They also are fans of the character but not the work, so the idea of Gojo being a component of an overall story, as he is in JJK, is like their idol getting sidelined for the rest of the group. Hence why they’re outraged over Gojo having a “bad death,” because to them they weren’t reading the JJK manga, they were following Gojo’s career trajectory, and the idea that his “career” ending could be anything but horrible injustice is incompatible with the way they interact with fandom.

To them, fandom is a competition to make their fave the most beloved, popular, and important character, the same way K-pop stans obsess over streaming numbers. It’s important that Gojo, as an idol and not a character, be seen as morally infallible, as opposed to the morally complex mentor he is, and that he be the most important character (member) of the series (group). This is why they were outraged that he was not, in fact, the protagonist who was going to defeat Sukuna, Yuji and the other students were, because anything else would totally decimate the themes of JJK.

As their bias, Gojo must also be universally beloved by all the other characters/members, as opposed to him being disliked for rational reasons by other characters (like him pissing them off on purpose because he finds it entertaining). Because they treat Gojo as an idol and not a character, saying people around their idol dislike their idol is seen as slandering them, as opposed to being a character element. So they get mad that the guy with bad social skills whose whole thing thematically is his inability to connect does not in fact have many close personal relationships.

This is why you’ll notice that this particular type of fan won’t really like Gojo’s students (especially Megumi) as anything other than props to prove how much Gojo is loved and what a good person he is, and they’ll even get mad at the students for not giving him enough attention/affection/ “giving him his flowers,” even if it’d be out of character for them, because they mostly see the rest of the cast as being there to reinforce how beloved their favorite idol is.

That’s why they’re typically so militant about dad!Gojo being canon, despite him very explicitly not being that in canon (at least not in the way they like to portray it, where Gojo is living with and raising Megumi and Tsukimi as though they’re his children). To them, Gojo must be seen as this perfect, doting father figure who raised Megumi with warmth and care, not as what he actually was: a mentor and benefactor with a complicated and somewhat distant relationship with him due to their respective personalities and traumas.

(To be clear, not all dadjo likers! I myself have enjoyed dadjo. But it’s fanon. It’s just people who have an intense need to argue that dad!jo is indisputably canon and that anything else is essentially Gojo slander.) Megumi actually having mixed feelings about Gojo is absolutely taboo to them, because it contradicts their idol fantasy where everyone in Gojo’s life adores him unconditionally. The reality, which is that Gojo saved Megumi from a worse fate but also left him to be primarily raised by Tsumiki, who was also a child at the time, is something they refuse to acknowledge. They try to paint Megumi’s more reserved attitude toward Gojo as just grumpy teen’s “tsundere” behavior towards a beloved and doting dad instead of what it actually is: the reaction of a kid who had a supportive but ultimately transactional relationship with a mentor figure who, despite their time together remained “untouchable,” not an uncomplicated and loving father-son bond.

To these fans, admitting that Gojo wasn’t a doting dad isn’t just a character discussion, it’s an attack on Gojo’s image, the same way an akgae would react if someone said their idol wasn’t acting as a perfect parent to the children in their care. That’s why they can’t stand people pointing out that Gojo was not Megumi’s father, didn’t raise him, and predominantly served as his benefactor and teacher. Because in their minds, saying that is like accusing Jungkook of neglecting foster kids or something. It’s slander against their perfect, universally beloved idol, and that is completely unacceptable to them.

(Prefacing again with not all bottom Gojo fans, not all multishippers, not all Gegos). While it may seem contradictory, akgaes will often ship their male bias with other members who they are not fans of because of this need to emphasize how loved, adored, and desired their idol is by the people surrounding them. These people ship their idol with other members, often multiple, in order to reinforce the desirability of their idol, despite not being fans of these members and wanting these members to be below their idol lest they threaten their favorite idol’s popularity.

So these people will ship Gojo with one or multiple other characters not because they like the other characters but to emphasize how desired and worshiped Gojo is. To them, it’s important to perceive him that way, because for people who see him as an idol and not a character, the idea of him being the “least favorite coworker” is slanderous and degrading and not just a part of the character.

It’s also very important that in all slash pairings like Sukugo, Nanago, and Gego, Gojo is the bottom because they don’t want to see him being active or desiring the other character. To them, the point of shipping is to emphasize how desired and loved he is, not any actual interest in the relationship with the other characters. Think of someone who’s like “Jungkook is so beautiful that all the other members are in love with him and want to fuck him” but still doesn’t stan the other members. It’s essential that the other character wants their bias, Gojo, more than he wants them.

Because of this, this specific genre of Gojo fan ships Geto with Gojo because they want Geto to be in love with Gojo, since to say otherwise would be reducing the desirability of their bias. Frankly, the material is all there. But it’s also important to make sure that Geto is not loved by Gojo as much as he loved Gojo, because that makes their bias into something other than a passive magnet of desire and into an active character, lest he be seen as anything other than pure and angelic. To balance this, Geto must be seen as though he was always secretly evil and is less popular or desired than Gojo, despite the opposite being explicitly stated to be true in canon. This fulfills their need to see Gojo as loved, cared for, and simped over, while making sure that Geto himself doesn’t get any love or appreciation as a character, and instead exists solely to validate how they perceive Gojo, like how a solo stan may ship another member with their bias, but also consider them a rival in terms of streams and therefore root against their success and even post hate about them so their bias isn’t surpassed.

This is why they crash out so intensely over fandom jokes about Gojo fumbling Geto, because it doesn’t mesh with how they perceive Gojo, which is as someone who is always desired but never desiring, (unless he’s begging for dick for fanfic purposes). Even then, it’s important that Geto/Nanami/Toji/Sukuna/Designated top of the day (I’ve seen this specific group ship Ichiji x Gojo. Yes in that order) desires him more.

This is also why they’re typically militant about bottom Gojo and will often feel the need to “enforce” that Gojo must always be a bottom on any post that implies otherwise. To them, they’re defending their idol as the ultimate object of desire, and making him a top is slanderous because it contradicts their perception of him as a pretty (which to be clear he is), passive, and pure object. That doesn’t make for a very interesting character, but these are very much values projected onto idols.

(Again, not all Gegos! There are plenty of Gegos who also like Geto! I myself consider STSG a reversible couple. There are also people who give other characters in JJK the idol treatment, including Geto!). This means that for a lot of Gojo stans, the appeal of shipping Geto with Gojo is that they can write about Geto being obsessively in love with Gojo, and generally just write about Gojo being precious, pursued, and adored. At the same time, they don’t want Gojo to care about Geto all that much or continue to love him or desire him, because to them that makes Geto and not Gojo the object of love and desire, which reduces Gojo’s value as the most popular idol.

Thus, while they ship Geto and Gojo, it’s important to them that Geto is less important to Gojo than Gojo is to Geto. Hence why they’ll often say “Geto defected because of how Gojo was treated,” which is imo not really true. We see the reasons for his defection laid out very clearly, and Gojo’s main impact on Geto’s defection was Geto’s belief that Gojo had left him behind and no longer needed or valued him now that he couldn’t keep up with Gojo. Not saying there was absolutely zero impact at all, but we actually do see what thoughts Geto was having about Gojo that caused him to leave, and none of them were about how Gojo was a helpless victim of the system who he left in order to save. They were entirely about Geto feeling inferior and abandoned.

For stans like this, they vehemently are against Geto being a character outside of Gojo but hate the idea of Gojo being motivated by Geto, because to them it changes the dynamic of who desires and who is desired. To them, the whole purpose of shipping is to emphasize how desirable Gojo is, and any attention/importance Geto gets infringes on that.

That’s why this particular type of Gojo stan dislikes the idea that Geto is canonically attractive and desirable, because that directly threatens the way they need Gojo to be perceived. Gege has explicitly stated that Geto was more romantically popular and well-liked than Gojo, but this contradicts the way these fans want Gojo to be seen, so they work overtime to downplay it. That’s why there is such extreme hostility toward anything that associates Geto with softness, beauty, or femininity, because to them, those traits must belong exclusively to Gojo in order to maintain Gojo’s idol image.

This is why, despite Geto being shorter than Gojo and roughly the same size physically, Geto is often written as an over-masculinized brute while Gojo is hyper-feminized, with an obsessive focus on how pale, thin, and delicate he is. Gojo has to be the most beautiful, the most adored, and the most wanted, and to maintain that, Geto has to be rewritten into his opposite. That’s why fandom interpretations of Geto often make him twice as wide as Gojo, physically dominant over the now-dainty Gojo in ways that just aren’t canon, with exaggerated features that make him seem more rugged or threatening.

His skin tone is frequently darkened far beyond what it actually is in canon, specifically to create a stark contrast with Gojo’s fairness, because in the colorist fandom beauty biases, pale equals delicate and beautiful, while darker skin is coded as masculine and less desirable. Even though both Gojo and Geto are fair-skinned. If you disagree, try showing someone a screenshot of Geto from the anime and call him ‘representation for darker skin tones.’ That is a beige man.

To be clear, I enjoy tanned Geto HCs, and it’s not only Gegos who have them, but there’s a pattern here that’s rooted in broader fandom trends where darker skin is equated with masculinity in a way that reinforces certain biases. See meme below.

This also ties into the way some fans call Geto "ugly" for having more typically East Asian features, despite the fact that he is literally an example of a well-known Japanese beauty standard. In Japan, Geto would be considered a salt-faced (sio-gao) ikemen, meaning he has a sharp, refined, and slightly serious-looking face rather than the sugar-faced (shioga-gao) ikemen look that Gojo has, which is rounder, softer, and more boyish. Both are recognized beauty types, but because Gojo has the more exaggerated "anime bishounen" look, some Gojo-only fans tend to dismiss Geto as being "plain" or even "ugly," and even resorting to racist insults about his features (ex. the recent drama about a Gojo fan posting a yellow-peril style racist caricature of Geto) They downplay or outright reject that Geto is canonically handsome because acknowledging it would put him on equal footing with Gojo, and that is something they cannot allow.

The hostility toward anything feminine being associated with Geto is a direct extension of this. To these fans, Gojo must always be the soft, adored, babygirl-coded one, and Geto must always be the one pursuing, protecting, or desiring him. Any suggestion that Geto himself could be pretty, soft, or cherished is treated as an attack, because in their minds, allowing him to share those traits with Gojo takes something away from Gojo’s image. That’s why jokes about "princess Geto" or "babygirl Geto" get met with outright vitriol from these fans. It’s not just that they disagree with it, it’s that they see it as stealing from Gojo’s rightful place as the fandom’s one and only precious, beautiful, feminine-coded object of desire.

(To be clear, they’re both my babygirl princess pookies. I’m completely correct about this and won’t hear any opinions to the contrary /j)

This is also why they insist so aggressively that Gojo must be the bottom in every ship and Geto must always be the dominant one. They need Gojo to be the passive, delicate one, and Geto to be the rough, hulking, obsessive force that worships him. If Geto is allowed to be beautiful in his own right, to be desired instead of just desiring, it throws off that entire dynamic. It makes Geto an equal instead of a tool to reinforce Gojo’s desirability, and that is unacceptable to them.

Ultimately, this isn’t about character analysis or ship preferences, it’s about maintaining a hierarchy where Gojo is always at the center. If Geto is acknowledged as attractive, as someone who could be soft, as someone who could be adored, then suddenly Gojo is not the sole object of everyone’s desire. That’s why they fight it so hard, because their version of Gojo cannot share that space with anyone else, because, again, he is their bias.

TLDR: Gojo is not a member of a kpop boy group. A lot of the reason you see some Gojo fans being 1.) shocked by Gojo’s canon behaviors/the plot of JJK as being “OOC” or “disrespectful to Gojo” and 2.) extremely hostile towards the character they “ship” Gojo with, is because a good chunk of his fandom thinks that he is.

Anyway that’s my rambling notesapp thesis I banged out on the subway. Love you all and thanks for reading! And again, not meant to hate whatsoever, just meant to explain a particular phenomenon (why do some gojo fans who ship satosugu hate geto)

#satosugu #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #jjk gojo #gojo #geto suguru #geto #suguru geto #jjk #jjk meta #jjk ramblings #my ramblings #geto x gojo #gojo x geto #jujutsu kaisen #jjk analysis

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hollowed-theory-hall · 6 months ago

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Helo there! What do you think about Harry's and Neville's friendship? And the aspect of both of them possibily being the chosen one?

I like Neville and his dynamic with Harry, even if I don't think they're that close.

Like, Harry is more of a mentor for Neville with the DA rather than a friend who's a peer.

in fact, he barely spoke during D.A. meetings anymore, but worked relentlessly on every new jinx and countercurse Harry taught them, his plump face screwed up in concentration, apparently indifferent to injuries or accidents, working harder than anyone else in the room. He was improving so fast it was quite unnerving and when Harry taught them the Shield Charm, a means of deflecting minor jinxes so that they rebounded upon the attacker, only Hermione mastered the charm faster than Neville.

(OotP)

And I think Neville keeps looking up to him as a symbol and a leader less than as a person.

Nevertheless, his battered visage shone with happiness as he let go of Hermione and said again, “I knew you’d come! Kept telling Seamus it was a matter of time!”

(DH)

Neville kinda idolizes Harry in a way.

That's why I don't think they are particularly close, but they do care about each other. Harry feels a bit sorry for Neville and a little protective over him:

A hatred such as he had never known before was coursing through Harry like poison. He could see Black laughing at him through the darkness, as though somebody had pasted the picture from the album over his eyes. He watched, as though somebody was playing him a piece of film, Sirius Black blasting Peter Pettigrew (who resembled Neville Longbottom) into a thousand pieces.

(PoA)

“Doesn’t matter. They don’t want to spill too much pure blood, so they’ll torture us a bit if we’re mouthy but they won’t actually kill us.” Harry did not know what was worse, the things that Neville was saying or the matter-of-fact tone in which he said them.

(DH)

And he does trust Neville a lot. Both Harry and Neville have full faith in each other which I really like:

Dumbledore had died knowing that three people still knew about the Horcruxes; now Neville will take Harry’s place. There would still be three in the secret. “Just in case they’re—busy—and you get the chance—” “Kill the snake?” “Kill the snake,” Harry repeated. “All right, Harry, You’re okay, are you?” “I’m fine. Thanks, Neville.” But Neville seized his wrist as Harry made to move on. “We’re all going to keep fighting, Harry. You know that?” “Yeah, I—” The suffocating feeling extinguished the end of the sentence; he could not go on. Neville did not seem to find it strange. He patted Harry on the shoulder, released him, and walked away to look for more bodies.

(DH)

They have a sort of quiet understanding and while their friendship isn't super close, they do care about each other and like each other. They could've probably been good friends if they were given the chance to interact more. (That's another reason why I love DADA professor Harry with Herbology professor Neville to give them that chance)

Their dynamic, if they were to get closer, kinda reminds me of an older brother & a younger brother due to how much Neville looks up to Harry and how Harry is protective over Neville.

As for both of them being the Chosen One, well, they aren't both the Chosen One. Only Harry was Chosen at the end of the day. But, I think that by the end, Neville is a truer Gryffindor than Harry.

In book 7 Harry failed to retrieve the Sword of Gryffindor:

When Ron offered the sword, however, Harry shook his head. “No, you should do it.” “Me?” said Ron, looking shocked. “Why?” “Because you got the sword out of the pool. I think it’s supposed to be you.” He was not being kind or generous. As certainly as he had known that the doe was benign, he knew that Ron had to be the one to wield the sword. Dumbledore had at least taught Harry something about certain kinds of magic, of the incalculable power of certain acts

(DH)

The sword that only appears to a Gryffindor in need:

What was it, Harry asked himself (walking again), that Dumbledore had told him the last time he had retrieved the sword? Only a true Gryffindor could have pulled that out of the hat. And what were the qualities that defined a Gryffindor? A small voice inside Harry’s head answered him: Their daring, nerve, and chivalry set Gryffindors apart.

(DH)

rejected Harry, but embraced Neville:

In one swift, fluid motion, Neville broke free of the Body-Bind Curse upon; the flaming hat fell off him and he drew from its depths something silver, with a glittering, rubied handle—

(DH)

Add to that Harry's use of Unforgivables in book 7, and I feel like Harry was supposed to embrace his Slytherin characteristics in this book as a theme of the narrative, you know? Like the rejection from the sword and Harry needing to be more cunning than ever should've been this sort of closure. Of Harry's understanding, not all Slytherins are evil and he himself is a bit of a Slytherin and embracing it. It would've worked so well with Snape's story and the themes of the book, truly a missed opportunity to not make this idea of Harry finally saying "yes Slytherin" instead of "not Slytherin", and embracing the fact he is a bit of a Slytherin while Neville, who was terrified to be in Gryffindor, who asked the hat to place him someplace else, embraced being a Gryffindor fully. They have kind of small parallel barley-there arcs in a way that I found interesting in my current reread of Deathly Hallows. Like, I feel there was an intention there, as Harry does feel he is less of a Gryffindor throughout this book, even though he still is, I'm talking about his feelings on the matter.

I think this idea is there, just not as explored as I would've liked it. It is just interesting that the Sword of Gryffindor chose Neville as the true Gryffindor but rejected Harry who is the Chosen One because he was chosen by the Heir of Slytherin. Idk, I feel like there is something there.

#harry potter #hp #hp meta #asks #anonymous #hollowedtheory #hollowedrambling #harry james potter #neville longbottom

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naneun-no · 1 year ago

Text

From my drafts so it’s late but:

Today’s delulu thought is that Standing Next to You has too many lyrical coincidences to not be about Jimin.

🫣 I SAID IT WAS DELUSIONAL OKAY

You are free to disagree. You probably should 🤣

I mean we know it wasn’t written by Jung Kook but obviously the version he recorded was arranged with and for JK, and “leave your body golden” can’t be a coincidence right? Like it’s the whole ass album name, plus a word that carries connotations of JK himself, which the ppl who worked with him on Seven must have known.

So if that wasn’t a coincidence… then what about:

1. “How we left and right is something we control” — a callback to both Left and Right by CP feat JK, but also a nod to Butter, a massive BTS hit and a song that he performs alongside his boyfie bestie JM.

2. “When it’s deep like DNA, something they can’t take away” — a callback to another massive BTS hit, interesting. And *delulu warning* also reminds me of JM and JK’s extreme similarities that they themselves have referred to before?? They’re wired the same, they have the same sense of humor, they live and breathe for the same shit and even though they have some very key differences, they really do seem like twin flames (even if you just see it as platonic). They are similar in ways that seem braided into the fibers of their being. Like, in their DNA 🧬 some may say. *delulu warning #2* I’m also reminded of Jimin’s Letter lyrics: “After all this time has passed will we still be the same? Just like we were when we first met.”

Also, “something they can’t take away” is an interesting turn of phrase… more on that later.

3. Okay the real meaty part:

Screaming I’ll testify that we'll survive the test of time, they can't deny our love. They can't divide us, we'll survive the test of time I promise I'll be right here

[I seriously can’t believe how closeted-couple-coded this song is]

First off, again with the Letter lyrics mirrored here with the “test of time.” Then it’s got all this drama about being ripped apart and how it won’t happen and how they’ll be next to each other no matter what and that they have “something they can’t take away.”

Not only does all that line up with other Letter lyrics, but it is so goddamn dramatic and for what?

Be for real, what straight couple in this day and age would have this much working against them?? The only possible explanations are: 1) within the fantasy world of a song I suppose this could be some sort of Romeo and Juliet/West Side Story motif, and to be fair the music video did have a kind of rival gang/crime family look to it? Sort of? With the men fighting below the stage? Idk. Or it could be 2) the fact that idols do in fact often have to hide even their straight relationships, which is wild to me. But I know it’s a thing, so. I suppose there’s that. JK doesn’t seem the type though honestly. I think he’d be even more open about it than V.

On the other hand, the lyrics seem SO fit for a couple who are a) queer, b) closeted, c) currently in/about to be in a legislatively homophobic military and country (am I saying that right? Lol) and d) internationally famous pop idols in the SAME BAND who are both widely regarded as heterosexual sex symbols and would be shunned by many people in their homeland AND internationally if their queerness were to be revealed, much less if they were truly an item and THAT news broke.

Whew. That was a lot but like… that would be a real example of a relationship that would be VERY threatened by outside forces plotting against them and trying to separate them. Not JK and a hot blonde model, not him and a Korean actress, not basically any other scenario but a queer relationship.

Idk I know he didn’t write it but like ??? What the hell is that theme? I’m dying to get inside the mind of the people who DID write it, because are they or are they jikookers at this point like?!

4. Just for fun I’ll also point out the “leave your body golden like the sun and moon” 😏 like. Okay. At this point the songwriters are watching Jikook compilations, drooling over @slaaverin edits like convince me they’re not. CONVINCE ME.

5. “Deeper than the rain”?! “The pain”?! Alright I’m not even serious at this point but ??? Rainy day fight 🌧️?!?! 🤣🤣

6. “Standing next to you” oh you mean like… for 18 months? In a companion enlistment program? Like that?

Alright alright I’m done but you get my point. What even is this song if not an anthem of jikookery?! It’s more on-the-nose than Letter, more sneaky than Still With You. It wasn’t written by JK but at this point I’m calling that the songwriters are as delulu as me.

Hope y’all are well. If you made it to the end of this thank you for donning your tinfoil hat with me and I hope you at least got a giggle.

✌️

#jikook #kookmin #jimin and jungkook #jikook theories #delulu time

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wavelikewhat · 2 years ago

Text

Heartstrings

Pairing: Producer!Woozi x Producer!Reader (she/her pronouns) Summary: You help Jihoon meet an unexpected deadline for a song and he wonders why he can’t stop thinking about you. Luckily his members nudge him toward the answer. Wordcount: 4.5k Content notes: none Genre/themes/appearances: fluff, strangers to lovers, idol/non-idol, music talk, Hoshi meddling, Seungcheol interrogating, Jeonghan snooping

A/N: So this is technically a fanfic for two fanfics: when I read i look good on you by @seungkwansphd I needed a backstory for them immediately. Then last week I read Live by @wondernus and it felt like it fit into my headcanon, so my mind started filling out how they met and got back together and began a public relationship… So here I am posting my first Woozi fic that is a fake prequel to those two, in a way? Please read those because they are so short and so sweet and will have your imagination (and heart) racing! This story is about how this couple gets together :)

“Ya! Soonyoung!” Jihoon called out.

Soonyoung abruptly stopped dancing and turned around, surprised to see Jihoon in his practice room. “What are you doing here?”

Jihoon got straight to the point, as always. “Do you have the number of the producer who wrote the song you did with Youngji?” he asked as he walked toward Soonyoung at the mirrored wall.

Soonyoung’s eyes widened. “Y/N? Why do you need her number at…” He glanced up at the clock on the wall above the mirrors and added, “11:45 at night?”

Jihoon sighed, exasperated that this ‘quick question’ was turning into a full blown conversation. “I have to finish that song featuring a woman’s vocals. The company wants to hear it tomorrow, but I need someone who can sing on the demo. They’ll have a hard time picturing a woman singing it if I sing it.”

Soonyoung nodded slowly. “That makes sense. Y/N sang the guide for that song. Yes, I have her number.” He walked over to his bag and fished out his phone. “Sent.”

Jihoon’s phone buzzed in his hand, and he looked down to see a notification from Soonyoung. “Thanks.” He turned and headed out of the room.

Soonyoung watched the door close, shrugged, and walked back to the mirrors to practice.

...

[Jihoon - Universe Factory] 23:49 - This is Jihoon, Soonyoung gave me your number. Would you be able to sing on a demo for me tonight? I’m working on a song with a woman’s vocals and the company wants to hear it tomorrow.

[Y/N] 23:50 - Did you give someone my number?

[Hoshi] 23:50 - Woozi asked me for it. Did he text you?

[Y/N] 23:50 - He did, but I had to make sure it was real

[Hoshi] 23:50 - LOL!

[Y/N - Bespoke Records] 23:51 - Hi! I’m just finishing up at my studio. I can definitely help.

[Jihoon - Universe Factory] 23:51- Any chance you could come to my studio tonight then?

[Y/N - Bespoke Records] 23:52 - Sure, send me the location.

...

You stared at your phone in shock. There is no way THE Woozi (and he called himself JIHOON?! like you were actual people who knew each other?) just asked you for help at midnight on a Tuesday. You honestly almost said yes even before your brain had a brief moment of sanity and directed you to check with Hoshi.

When Woozi asked you to come to his studio you completely froze, re-entering reality only long enough to let him know you could be there. You’d seen clips of him working at the studio and it seemed like such a cool place. You couldn't believe you were really about to go inside.

Woozi (Jihoon, you reminded yourself) even sent a company car to pick you up, which was very thoughtful of him. Then again, you were doing him a huge favor by agreeing to meet him at midnight on a Tuesday. He was lucky you were a night owl. The least he could do was give you a free ride.

All throughout the ride to his studio from yours, you felt like you should be manically texting someone about it, but you were somewhat frozen in shock. You sent a message to your roommate letting them know that you were staying out late to work with another producer, and you gave them the address for “Jihoon’s studio” and made sure location sharing was still turned on for your phone. (Safety first.) You did this frequently enough that they easily replied they'd keep their ringer on and check on you in the morning to make sure you made it back.

You stared out the window as buildings and brightly lit late-night restaurants flashed by. Suddenly, you realized, I am literally living my dream at this exact moment. You lived in Seoul working as a music producer, you had an amazing roommate you loved, you had fun meeting and collaborating with other producers in the business, and you worked on several very successful songs. And now you were about to meet one of the most successful producers in the world. Unreal.

The car arrived at what looked like an average gray building after a 15 minute ride from your studio. The subway entrance across the street told you the building was only one stop away from your apartment on the subway line you rode to work.

A security guard at the entrance let you in and pointed out the correct elevator. As the elevator doors closed, you heard him on the phone with Jihoon, letting him know you arrived. When the doors opened, you didn’t even have to wander around looking for the right room. Jihoon stood outside one of the doorways and nodded quickly before heading back into a room halfway down the hall.

You took a deep breath and started toward the studio. You had butterflies in your stomach. You didn't follow the group closely, yet among the members you’d always felt particularly drawn to Jihoon, not just for his looks (because he was so handsome you could barely believe it) but for his mind. This was an amazing once in a lifetime opportunity to work with such a talented producer.

When you walked into the studio, it was exactly as it looked in the clips you saw online. He was sitting at a computer and beside him was an empty chair. On the desk were big headphones and a microphone that were both plugged into his system. You’d only seen this microphone model online, and your excitement grew at the chance of getting to use it.

“Thanks for coming over,” Jihoon said as you walked to his desk. “I had a busy schedule today so I didn’t find out until an hour ago that they wanted it so fast.”

“Happy to help. I’m glad you thought of me.” At that moment, he looked up and met your eyes. His gaze was intense and his eyes seemed to stare into you. Maybe this was his work mode.

Shake it off, you told yourself, dropping your bag under the desk and sitting down. Be professional.

Jihoon played the ballad for you a few times and explained the concept. He sent you the lyrics so you could scroll through on your phone and follow along. You sang along under your breath, shoulders bobbing to the beat. The song was sure to be a hit, but he was correct that it was hard to imagine a woman featuring on the song with his (absolutely incredible) vocals on the demo.

“Are you ready to record?” Jihoon asked.

You nodded. You were never nervous the first time you sang something. It was like making pancakes: the first one didn’t count. That was your personal rule. You carefully put on the headphones and settled the microphone in front of you where you liked it.

You sang the lyrics exactly as written with the same vocalization he used in his version. A few times, your tongue twisted over the words. Your gut told you it wasn’t your singing style that was the issue. It felt like the sounds of those particular words didn’t fit those specific bars. As Jihoon played it back for you, you settled in to listen but you still felt some of the lyrics weren’t aligned with the song’s concept or sound.

Jihoon tilted his head and looked at you. It looked like he was calculating something. “What are you thinking?” he asked, turning his chair to face you fully.

You hesitated for a moment, but this was work. Jihoon was looking for your professional opinion as a songwriter. He obviously heard the demos you’d sent Hoshi back when you wrote a song for him and Youngji, and Jihoon liked your voice enough to ask for it on his demo. So this was definitely about work.

“I think a few of the lyrics need to be changed.” You scrolled to the first spot on your phone and pointed. “Right here, these three syllables are clashing against the musical phrasing underneath. You should do two syllables with an elongated vowel.”

Jihoon nodded slowly. “I know what you mean. What about ‘only’ or ‘maybe’ in that spot?” He looked at the lyrics on your phone and sang that section a few times to test out both options. You nodded along, feeling the rhythm of the lyrics.

“Maybe. It fits the concept of the song better.”

“I agree. What else?”

As you pointed out a few other suggestions, you found yourself much more comfortable working with him than you expected. Sometimes when you met some of the bigger producers for the first time, you felt too starstruck to make any changes to their work. But something about working alone in the quiet studio with Jihoon made your typical unease disappear. His presence filled the room, but his questions were clear and direct and you always knew exactly what he was asking.

Ten minutes later, Jihoon started a second recording, this time with the new lyrics. Despite the late hour, your voice felt strong and your mouth formed every word exactly as you intended. When you finished singing and took off the headphones, Jihoon’s eyes sparkled at you before he spoke. You felt it, too. This was it. You wouldn’t need to lay another track.

“Ready to hear it?” he asked, looking back at the computer and not addressing the fact that you both knew it was going to be perfect. You could hear the note of anticipation in his voice.

“Yes.”

A broad smile stretched across your face as you listened to the entire song. Afterwards, Jihoon turned to you with his phone in hand.

“Send me your agency’s contact information and the email address for the legal department. I need the KOMCA registration details so I can list your name in the credits.”

And just like that, you officially collaborated on a song with Universe Factory.

...

“Did you end up recording with Y/N?” Soonyoung asked Jihoon as they walked back to the practice room holding fresh iced Americanos.

“She came over that night and recorded the demo,” Jihoon replied, heading up a staircase.

Soonyoung’s eyes bugged out of his head and he stumbled on a step. He grabbed the railing to catch himself. “That night? It was the middle of the night!”

Jihoon shrugged. “She said she could.”

“What did you do together?” Soonyoung asked suspiciously.

“What do you mean? We recorded the song.”

“That’s it?”

“What else would we do? She helped with the lyrics and I set it up to give her writing credits.”

“Really?”

“Of course I did. She made the song better.”

Soonyoung watched Jihoon out of the corner of his eye. That was one of the nicest things Jihoon had ever said about anyone. Soonyoung took another sip of his coffee, his mind racing as he calculated a hundred algorithms at once. This whole situation was pretty unusual. But maybe, just maybe, his suspicion about Jihoon was correct.

“When are you seeing her again?” Soonyoung asked casually after they reached the top of the steps.

Jihoon cocked his head, thinking. “Maybe I’ll invite her to the recording. She would probably like that.”

Again, Soonyoung stumbled over his own two feet out of shock that Jihoon was considering someone’s feelings, and it wasn’t someone he’d known for a decade. And he didn’t always consider the feelings of members he knew for that long.

“Aren’t you going to buy dinner to thank her?” Soonyoung suggested.

“Is that necessary?”

“It would be the professional thing to do. Wouldn’t you do that if you worked with a guy? And Y/N really helped you meet your deadline.”

Jihoon thought carefully about the suggestion as they approached the door to the practice room. “You’re right. I should treat her to dinner. I’ll send her a message when we’re done.”

“I’ll remind you!” Soonyoung exclaimed enthusiastically.

...

Late at night a few days later, you walked up the hill to your apartment, completely lost in thought. You just finished dinner with Jihoon, and sharing the meal felt as comfortable as when you were recording in his studio last week.

After recording the demo together, he coordinated with your agency to make sure your credits appeared properly on the new song. You also had to sign an NDA about the song, studio location, and spending time with Jihoon. I guess it goes with the territory, you thought to yourself as you signed it.

During dinner, Jihoon explained the rushed deadline for the demo was because the song would be an OST for a drama starring one of the hottest actors in the country and the drama producers wanted to hear the song. Of course, they loved it and approved it.

It was hard to believe you worked with Jihoon on a song that Dokyeom was about to sing for a highly anticipated drama. It was even wilder that *Woozi* was saved in your phone simply as Jihoon, as if he was just another producer you worked with. And you were so surprised when he offered to buy you a meal to thank you. You should be the one thanking him!

But the simple meal was delicious and the quiet dinner in the small family-run restaurant near his studio (and near your apartment, but he didn't need to know that) was really nice. The owners seemed to know him well and treated him as a son. You knew you would remember the evening fondly.

Conversation mostly focused on work, but when Jihoon learned where you went to college for music production, it turned out you had learned from his mentors. He shared some genuinely entertaining stories from when he was starting to learn production software and recording tools.

It all made him more… real, and less of a person you just saw in videos on your phone. You sort of couldn't stop thinking about him, and as you walked up the steps leading to your apartment building, you found yourself mentally scrolling through all your draft songs to see if he might want to work on one with you.

...

[Jihoon] 21:09 - Would you be interested in coming to Dokyeom’s recording on Tuesday?

[Y/N] 21:15 - I would love that!

...

Through the glass of the recording booth, Jihoon watched you chatting with Dokyeom like you were old friends. He felt his stomach twist but couldn't figure out why.

Dokyeom had convinced you to record one track where you sang with him, even though they had a famous singer scheduled to record that verse tomorrow. So there you were, giggling with Dokyeom in the booth.

"Ready?" Jihoon asked over the booth speakers. He watched you and Dokyeom giggle yet again over the grumpy tone of his request before settling in around the mic.

Jihoon began the recording and heard your voice pipe through his headphones. Dokyeom added unplanned adlibs underneath, which Jihoon grudgingly acknowledged worked better than what he'd suggested.

It was so odd that Jihoon felt so protective of this song when it wasn't even his song anymore. You had made it so much better, and now the two singers were going to apply their own professional minds to the song. This is how it always went.

So why was he jealous of not being on the track himself? Of not being the one in the booth with you? Jihoon saw Dokyeom tap you on the shoulder to encourage you to join him on the final vocal runs. Oh yes, he was definitely feeling weirdly jealous over you two for some reason.

The music ended and you looked through the glass directly at Jihoon, eyes shining at him with a huge grin across your face. Jihoon found himself smiling back. You looked really beautiful at that moment.

Dokyeom's eyes widened as he glanced between you and Jihoon. He had never seen Jihoon appear so connected with a virtual stranger. The camera crew appeared to think the same thing, because he saw one of them move to get a close up of Jihoon, and he saw the robotic camera in the booth tilt toward you.

You broke eye contact with Jihoon to take off your headphones and thank Dokyeom for a chance to record the song for fun, and Jihoon shook himself out of whatever bizarre hypnosis he was going through. He headed over to the computer to send this track to his personal email, just in case he may want to listen to it later.

After a few more recordings of Dokyeom alone (his raw vocals were no joke), the three of you chatted in the studio while the engineer finalized the tracks and Dokyeom suggested getting dinner.

"I would love to, but I'm meeting my roommate for dinner," you explained. "We live nearby."

"Invite them!" Dokyeom replied. "Let me pick a spot and send you the location." He scrolled through the map on his phone.

Jihoon tidied the studio and listened to the two of you talk about dinner options. So you lived nearby and had a roommate. For some reason, he liked learning things about you. It must be because you worked together so well.

Dokyeom selected a restaurant and you called your roommate to ask about meeting you and your friends for dinner. You made eye contact with Jihoon when you said that into your phone. "Friends." Were the two of you friends now? Maybe.

...

"Jihoon, did you watch the new behind the scenes video?" Seungcheol asked as they rode to their next schedule.

Jihoon responded without looking up from his phone. "Not yet. It’s been a busy week."

"The fans are going crazy over your recording with Y/N."

Jihoon looked up at the sound of your name. He didn't realize Seungcheol knew who you were. "My recording with Y/N? You mean Dokyeom's OST recording?"

"That's not what Carats are calling it."

Seungcheol held his phone up so Jihoon could see a fan edit of the few clips from the episode that showed you with him in the studio. It ended with a screenshot from Dokyeom's Instagram story showing the three of you at dinner after the recording, in a photo taken by your roommate.

"What is that all about?" Jihoon wondered aloud. He was genuinely confused.

"Are you two dating?" Seungcheol asked directly.

Behind him in the car, Jeonghan and Minghao immediately stopped chatting. This was far more interesting than their conversation. While eavesdropping, Jeonghan frantically searched your name and Jihoon's name on social media to find the clip Seungcheol was talking about.

"No," Jihoon replied. "We worked together on the song and Dokyeom suggested we have dinner. We had dinner another time, too."

"That’s it?" Seungcheol asked skeptically.

"What do you mean? That's it."

Seungcheol looked from Jihoon to his phone, where the edit was playing again. Seungcheol agreed with the fans. There were definitely sparks between you and Jihoon. Maybe Jihoon didn't realize it yet.

By then, Jeonghan had found the clip and was watching it on mute with Minghao. They shared a meaningful look. They would probably agree with Seungcheol on his theory.

Jeonghan opened his text thread with Soonyoung and sent him a message out of curiosity. "Do you still hang out with Y/N?"

...

You were surprised by the reaction to the behind the scenes video. Most of your friends were excited to see the clips of Jihoon and Dokyeom and kept telling you the video was so cute.

Back when Dokyeom tagged you on his Instagram story, you explained to your friends that you worked on something with them and it had been an amazing experience. They were all happy for you and excited after the song was released and became so popular.

The fans seemed to have the same reaction as your friends. You were naturally a little nervous about what Carats would say when Jihoon's company asked if you were willing to be recorded. After the video, the fans seemed to think you were adorable and talented and that you worked well with Jihoon. It wasn't the dramatic reaction your roommate predicted.

But your roommate was also convinced you were into Jihoon and he was into you. While that might be half true, despite your denial, nothing in the video showed anything personal between you and Jihoon. Not that there was anything personal between the two of you, but sometimes you felt like he was giving…something. His attention felt more intense than regular coworker attention. You sort of loved having all his attention focused on you.

Nevertheless, you were barely in the video after all, since it was about Dokyeom recording the song. They cut the entire section with the track you sang with Dokyeom. The few clips where you appeared mostly showed you chatting and interacting with Jihoon, and you may have watched one or two fan edits of those scenes.

No matter what was or wasn't going on between you and Jihoon, you would never forget immediately after the music stopped, when the two of you stared into each other's eyes in a perfect moment in time.

Even if he never contacted you again, you would never forget that moment.

...

[Jihoon] 13:30 - I just learned the song was nominated for best OST

[Y/N] 13:31 - WHAT?? Really??

[Jihoon] 13:31 - It's your first nomination right?

[Y/N] 13:31 - Yes!

[Y/N] 13:31 - I can't believe it

[Y/N] 13:32 - I'm in shock

[Jihoon] 13:32 - I asked them to invite you to the ceremony

[Y/N] 13:32 - You didn't have to do that

[Jihoon] 13:33 - I have to sit with the group, but even if we don't win I want it to be a special night for you

[Jihoon] 13:33 - It's an honor to be nominated

[Y/N] 13:34 - Thank you so much for including me in all of this

[Jihoon] 13:34 - You earned this

...

"...produced by Woozi of Universe Factory, and written by Woozi of Universe Factory and Y/N of Bespoke Records. This is the first win and first nomination in this category for these songwriters. Please welcome Woozi and Dokyeom to the stage."

Jihoon was actually surprised the song won. The other nominees were very popular as well, but all were produced by groups who wrote many drama OSTs. Seungkwan clapped his back and encouraged him to go up to the stage with Dokyeom as the members cheered and clapped around him. Above the noise, Jihoon could hear the song playing in the background.

As he stood, he took a moment to scan the audience, hoping he might see you. He didn't know where your assigned seat was, only that you weren't at one of the tables at the front with the larger groups and celebrities. He knew you were here because of the excited text messages you sent him after you spotted his table.

Dokyeom led the way to the stage. Jihoon reached the microphone and accepted the award, bowing to the MCs. They stepped back and motioned toward the microphone. Dokyeom nodded encouragingly. Jihoon had done this so many times yet completely forgot what he was supposed to do this time. He wished you were on stage with him.

"Thank you, thank you everyone. Thank you to the company and the drama producers for this opportunity. Thank you to the viewers for appreciating the song from rookie OST producers. Thank you to Y/N, who is also here tonight, for elevating the song to what you hear today. She…"

Jihoon trailed off as loud applause covered his voice and people seemed to be looking at the screen behind him. He turned to look and his mind went blank. You looked radiant in your elegant dress and glowing smile.

He'd never seen you in such a beautiful gown (he only saw you in jeans or sweats and he loved that didn't follow all the trends). Your makeup was shimmering on camera (your everyday makeup always wore off by the time you arrived at your late night meetings but you were always beautiful to him). Everything about you was captivating.

He was a man of few words, generally, but right now he was speechless.

Finally, Dokyeom poked his side and nodded toward the microphone forcefully. Jihoon's years of media training kicked in and he turned back to the audience to finish his speech.

"Thank you also to our wonderful singers who brought so much life to the song. I hope we are all able to return to you soon as stronger artists."

When Jihoon returned to his seat, Soonyoung eagerly whispered, "Y/N looks gorgeous, doesn't she? How did you know she was here?"

"I invited her," Jihoon replied. And she does look amazing, he thought to himself.

...

Late that night, many hours later, Jihoon's phone buzzed as he filled a glass of water. He looked at the notification and saw it was a message from you.

[Y/N] 4:13 - Thank you so much for everything. I'm going to remember tonight for the rest of my life. It was an honor to work with you and I'm so proud of the song.

Jihoon looked at the time. Maybe it was too late to call you, but you were clearly up too late thinking about things, just as he was. He tapped the icon to call you and was still a little surprised when you picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hi. I just wanted to say it was a privilege to work with you too.” There was a pause and he awkwardly filled it. “The award will be sent to your company after they engrave it.”

“Oh! Thank you. I’ve never won anything before. It still doesn't feel real.”

Jihoon heard a small thump in the background. It sounded like you sat down. He sat down on the couch himself and set his glass on the table in front of him.

“It would be funny if we worked together again and won another award.”

It wouldn’t be funny, Jihoon thought. It was very possible. You were extremely talented. “Why not? You should send me some of your songs.”

You chuckled into his ear. Something about this made his heart beat faster. “I've been thinking about doing that but I didn't know if you would want to listen to my music.”

“Of course I do.”

The line went silent.

Jihoon wondered if you could tell how he felt about you. His friends told him women were more perceptive than they expected, especially if you treat them disrespectfully. He tried to treat everyone with respect. But he wanted more from you. He wanted more with you.

“YN? Are you still there?”

“I am,” you replied quietly.

“After you send me some songs, should we have dinner again? Just us. We can talk about the songs.” He paused, thinking of how to put into words what he felt about you. “And anything else on your mind. I really like it when you tell me what you're thinking about.”

“That would be great. I would love to.” He could hear your smile over the phone.

#seventeen fluff #svt fluff #woozi fluff #jihoon fluff #seventeen x reader #woozi x reader #jihoon x reader #seventeen fanfic #wavelikewhat #woozi fanfic #lee jihoon #jihoon imagines #woozi #jihoon #svt #seventeen #wavelikewhat svt

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hlficlibrary · 1 year ago

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HL Fic Library 🩷 Meet Cute Fics

Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find the library's other recs here.

🩷 You Make Lovin' Fun by @homosociallyyours {E, 109k}

Harry is a 28 year old travel writer at a gay magazine who gets the assignment to go a lesbian cruise. She figures it's a nice chance to have some fun in the sun, but she's not expecting much else-- even if her partner and best friend are both encouraging her to hook up with someone while she's there.

When she locks eyes with a gorgeous silver fox from across the room, she starts to think she could've been wrong. There are lots of things standing in the way of anything real happening with her and Louis, but that doesn't stop them from falling for one another. True love isn't always easy, but they do make lovin' fun.

🩷 Quiet People Have the Loudest Minds by @2tiedships2 {M, 38k}

Broadway shows were one of the few things that could keep Louis’ attention for a full two hours without needing to move about. But not tonight.

The alpha next to him was both infuriating him and practically turning him on at the same time. He needed to leave. The alpha, that is. Louis was staying.

Or the one where Louis is a nonverbal omega who has accepted the fact that he will never find an alpha that will treat him as an equal. On the other hand, he’s never met anyone like Harry.

🩷 hymns for restless stars by @turnyourankle {E, 37k}

Every Holiday season Louis has his pupils write down their Christmas wishes for class. He's read almost every wish under the sun, but one girl's wish takes him by surprise. It's for her uncle not to be alone anymore. It's not a wild wish by any means, but Louis had no idea that former teen idol Harry Styles was lonely in the first place.

🩷 From the Start by @allwaswell16 {E, 32k}

Louis has no idea that one act of kindness will cause his life to spiral out of control. But that's what happens when his new friend fake proposes to him and a video of it goes viral.

🩷 On This Winter's Night by @reminiscingintherain {T, 27k}

When a random bloke offers his lap for a seat on a busy bus in December, Louis' Christmas ends up being much different, and far less lonely than he was expecting.

🩷 What Side Of Love Are You On? by @fallinglikethis {T, 25k}

Ever since Harry finally made the decision to come out to his mother as bisexual, she’s been foisting women on him left and right, determined it’s just a phase. But when she puts out a personal ad to find the perfect partner for her son, things really get complicated. Suddenly, Harry’s heart is being pulled in two very different directions. On one side is the sweet, caring woman he has fun with, but doesn’t know his mother chose for him. On the other is a man who seems to be his mother’s worst nightmare, but makes Harry’s heart flutter in ways he’s never felt before. When all is said and done, maybe they’ll all learn that when there is no clear path to go down, the best option is to follow your heart.

A Because I Said So Au with a bisexual twist.

🩷 A Road To Something Better by @taggiecb {E, 25k}

Louis Tomlinson, famous romance novelist, has just had the rug pulled out from under his feet when his boyfriend leaves him without notice. What's the most appropriate response to this? Move a thousand miles away and seclude himself in a tiny lake town, of course. But nothing is as he expects it to be in the very best way, especially not the handsome mayor of McAll, Idaho.

🩷 Naked & Proud by kiwikero / @icanhazzalou {E, 18k}

The town itself is tiny, as evidenced by the ten minutes it’s taken Louis to drive the entire thing. There’s not a single recognisable brand in sight—no Tesco or McDonald’s or even a bloody Starbucks. Lining the streets instead are mom and pop stores with names like ‘Jerry’s Burgers’ and ‘The Market Basket’ and…

“'Naked & Proud?'” Louis almost slams on the brakes at the outlandish sign, the name written in a seemingly innocent font, words curved around a large cartoon peach. He can’t help turning into the carpark, easing the car into a spot next to a beat up truck.

He isn’t sure what to make of it. Surely it isn’t a strip joint or sex shop, not with the families and little old ladies going in and out of the establishment. Some kind of nudist hangout, perhaps?

And, oh, God. Did Louis’ mother accidentally send him to live in a nudist colony?

In which Harry runs an organic store, not a nudist colony, and Louis doesn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

🩷 Single Bells Ring by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense {M, 16k}

A holiday singles event is not where Louis wants to be tonight, but there he is, helping his best friend find love. Just as Louis is settling in, ready to have a terrible time, he meets the fittest alpha he’s ever come across.

🩷 love so soft, you ain’t had nothing softer (series) by @neondiamond {E, 15k}

Louis is an Alpha with an odd obsession for gummy bears. Harry is an Omega who makes friends a little too easily. They meet on the bus.

🩷 Breathe me in, breathe me out by @lunarheslwt {G, 14k}

Louis was just passing the autumn collection, when an unfamiliar but addicting scent tickled his nose. Cinnamon. He turned as he realised something. He felt calm. Relaxed. The permanent agitation that he carried was melting away the more he breathed in the scent, as faint as it was. Consumed by the crazed desire to seek out the specific candle, Louis began picking up candles and sniffing them madly, when a deep voice piped up, startling him. “Uh, sir, we don’t allow candle fetishists in here.” Louis froze mid sniff in mortification. Willing himself to not blush, he turned, a retort at the tip of his tongue. Except, it died in his throat as he took in the man before him. “I uh,” Louis blurted out accidentally, temporarily rendered speechless by the frankly unfairly beautiful man before him. Only at the man’s grin widening did he regain his wits. “You’re gonna kink shame me?”

Or, Louis is drawn into a quaint candle shop in his desire to find ways to soothe himself while struggling with touch depri. It takes him two more run-ins and with the lovely alpha sales assistant, and a drop, to figure out the source of the scent that imprints upon him and calms his omega. Idiots to lovers

🩷 Far Afield by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird {T, 11k}

Harry Styles is a witch who owns the best flower shop in Manchester. Lottie Tomlinson is planning her wedding, and brings her brother along to her first appointment. Both men have been having a bad day and sparks fly.

🩷 The Art of the Giants by asphodelknox / @iamasphodelknox {G, 10k}

Louis is dancing away from an old relationship when he meets Harry at a bookstore in the busy streets of Seattle. Harry is just a bookstore owner hoping his handsome weekly visitor could become something more.

🩷 All Shook Up by @littleroverlouis {T, 9k}

Memphis, Tennessee is looking to crown the Ultimate Elvis Tribute artist. A majority of the contestants are content to shake their hips on stage, but singer-songwriter Harry is taking it more seriously. He is confident his voice and charisma will send him straight through to the finals.

He is already polishing his crown before even setting foot on stage, until he meets a fellow competitor. Louis is talented, charming, and a natural born performer. He commands the stage— and Harry's attention.

Harry has his eye on the prize and the Ultimate title, but what happens when someone becomes the ultimate prize?

🩷 The Way to My Heart by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13 {T, 6k}

Louis' having a bit of a dry spell, until he bumps into an attractive alpha in the supermarket and leaves with his number. It was a hard bump. Very... muscular.

The only problem is, said alpha asks Louis to cook for him - which is not exactly his skill set.

🩷 Only Reason by @letsjustsee {NR, 5k}

“We are so lucky to have with us one of the leading experts on beekeeping in the modern age, Dr. Louis Draper.” No. No, no, no… “I know I speak for many of us when I say that this man’s books have guided our practice, or helped us get started,” Harry continued, and Louis watched as the crowd nodded their heads in agreement. Oh shit. No. What? No. But then Harry was gesturing towards him, saying “Dr. Draper?” into the microphone, the crowd was applauding, and Louis found himself walking up the stairs to the stage.

Or, Louis is most definitely smitten with Harry from the second he sees him, but he is also most definitely not the world's foremost expert on beekeeping. He decides to roll with it anyway.

🩷 Unplant by @hellolovers13 {M, 4k}

Please do not disturb my plant She needs 2 hours of sunlight a day and I live in a sunless flat I’ll be back to collect her soon Thank you and stay well.

or Louis should've looked where he was going, then he wouldn't have to desperately try to save a little flower now.

🩷 Validation by @lululawrence {NR, 3k}

“Hey, how are you?” Harry asked. He’d found that sometimes just a smile and a kind face was all that was needed to brighten someone’s day.

“Oh, uhm. I’m alright. Can you validate me?”

Harry chuckled inwardly, but decided to go ahead and take him literally.

Or the one where Harry worked in a parking garage and he totally didn’t mean for this, the whole validation of people as well as their parking tickets, to become a thing. It just kinda...did.

🩷 more than that by @nouies {NR, 3k}

Harry looks for the best bread in France. He finds Louis.

🩷 an honest mistake by @disgruntledkittenface {NR, 2k}

“You look different when you’re not covered in come,” he blurts out, immediately regretting each and every life choice that has led to this exact moment. Elevator Guy is going to hate him.

Louis has ridden the elevator with his neighbor all week. The first time they speak, there’s a misunderstanding.

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adream-melody · 7 months ago

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Omg utapri blog hiii can i get kiss headcanons for starish!? how their kisses feel like or where they like to kis!?

Sorry this took me a bit...! I am not a very active writer, and I made this blog to try to build the writing habit, but it seems I still have a long way to go. Still, I hope you enjoy this! I had a lot of fun writing it!

STARISH and how they kiss their partner

Although OTOYA is not religious, his first kiss is like one of a shy church boy that doesn’t know how to move or where to put his hands. After a couple of kisses though, he gets the hang of it, and he grows to be a pretty good kisser. He’s careful and gentle, always smiley; sometimes he has to contain himself or he’ll end up giggling against his partner’s lips. Might be because of his body temperature, but his kisses are always comforting and warm, like the sun in a Spring afternoon.

His favourite place to kiss: Some people might call it a boring choice, but he loves to pepper his partner’s cheek with kisses as he hugs them, especially after some time apart.

When one first meets him, TOKIYA seems to be closed off to any kind of PDA, let alone casual intimacy. But that’s only because he’s been an idol for so long - as HAYATO and now as himself with STARISH, he is used to have his life in the spotlight and worrying about his image and, although he won’t admit it, he wants to keep those moments with his partner to himself and them and no-one else, so he won’t risk it. When alone with him, though, he is a gentle yet passionate lover - almost hungry, yet still worrying about his partner, as he tends to be one to overthink. His kisses are strong yet refreshing, and never feel like too much.

His favourite place to kiss: His partner’s neck during an intimate moment, as he enjoys the feeling of closeness and warmth in his partner’s pulse.

REN is the type to get handsy when he kisses - not to rush his partner into anything else, but because physical touch is how he most comfortably expresses himself. He’s not shy either, so he won’t mind showing that he loves his partner and wants them, even during something like kissing - after a make-out session, they’ll both probably end with their clothes and hairstyles in a mess. His kisses are overpowering in a way that makes one feel that one could drown in them, but he has the perfect rhythm so the kisses never get to be too much, and always leave his partner wanting for more.

His favourite place to kiss: The shell of his partner’s ear while dancing together or holding each other close.

SYO might seem hyper and too energetic on stage, but he’s a gentleman and his kisses follow that, too. He’s the kind to softly cradle his partner’s face with one hand and grab their waist with the other as he kisses them, guiding them both slowly and carefully. Although not insecure, he will most likely always ask before he kisses his partner, especially if they are outside. His kisses are soft but firm, and feel very secure.

His favourite place to kiss: His partner’s forehead, as they rest their head on his shoulder and look up at him.

Even if he’s been living away from his home for a bit, old habits die hard with MASATO. He was raised to be proper and to care about his image and what people think of him, so at first when one is dating him, he might feel a bit distant and won’t do PDA like kisses in public. When he’s alone with his partner, though, he will always take the opportunity to give a gentle kiss to his partner, even if only on the corner of their lips. His kisses are tender, pleasant, and delicate in a way that leaves one feeling lucky to get to experience them.

His favourite place to kiss: The top of his partner’s fingers, when they walk together holding hands.

A lot of people think he’s aloof and always cheery, but NATSUKI is not as naive as others might think. With his partner he’s gentle and passionate, and he’s not shy to show it through touch and words and actions. He enjoys kissing his partner, whenever and wherever, so one might have to put some boundaries in order not to get them both in trouble. His kisses are cosy, and the way in which Natsuki would hold his partner close to his body or over his lap so firmly would leave one feeling all floaty. His kisses are a bit like cinnamon - just a bit is enough to fill one’s head yet leave one craving for a little more.

His favourite place to kiss: His partner’s temple as he hugs them from behind.

Similar to Natsuki, CECIL’s public image betrays him a little bit. Although he seems innocent and wholesome, together with Ren he’s probably the most experienced with romance. He’s not a stranger to curious exploration with other royals back at his home country. That is to say, he’s a really good kisser - you don’t get to be such a talented flautist if you don’t know how to use your lips and your tongue and your fingers. When he kisses his partner, he guides them effortlessly with his hands and mouth, the type that would make one’s mind go blank. His kisses are both the searing heat of the desert and the shade one uses to escape from it.

His favourite place to kiss: He cannot let go of all his princely habits, so he finds himself enjoying kissing the back of his partner’s hand as he looks up at them.

Master list || Tags

#you might be able to clock my oshi with this #t: headcanon #g: starish #i: ichinose tokiya #i: ittoki otoya #i: jinguji ren #i: aijima cecil #i: shinomiya natsuki #i: kurusu syo #i: hijirikawa masato #R: they/them #m: romantic #utapri scenarios #uta no prince sama x reader #utapri x reader #utapri #uta no prince sama

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dreamescapeswriting · 2 years ago

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Wish You Were Sober ~ HHJ

WORD COUNT: 1.6k

GENRE: non!idol au, drunken confessions, the morning after, fluffy, cute, clingy and adorable hyunjin,

PAIRING: hyunjin x fem!reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - June 2023

⤜MASTERLIST

Watching from the safety of your car you watched as Chan struggled to get Hyunjin out of the club and over to your car as Hyunjin dramatically yelled that he wasn't done for the night.

"WE NEED TO PARTY MORE!" He screamed louder than you'd ever heard Hyunjin acting before, you smirked to yourself as you slowly got out of the car and shook your head. The boys were out celebrating tonight because they were getting to graduate early and they wanted to have a big party before they had to go into the "real world". Hyunjin - who was your roommate for the last four years - seemed to be the most excited to go on this night out as it had been the first time he'd let himself enjoy his time out. Mostly he would spend his time studying or in extra classes doing his best to stay focussed on what was most important to him.

"I think you've had more than enough," You told Hyunjin while giggling and making your way over to him, wrapping one of his arms over your shoulder and helping Chan get Hyunjin toward your car.

"Yn?! You're here! Let's go and have a drink!" Hyunjin yelled in your ear, you put the yelling down to the pounding music that was blasting from inside the club and you laughed a little.

"I don't think they'll let me in. I'm in my ugly PJs tonight Hyunjinnie," You cooed a little as Hyunjin finally reached your car, leaning against the door and looking you up and down as his tongue slowly ran along his bottom lip. A simple action that made your entire body burn with desire as soon as it happened, that was the thing between you and Hyunjin.

The two of you were roommates but you also had the biggest crush on him in the world, you figured it would eventually disappear and you'd just feel friendly toward your roommate but that time never came.

"Nothing you wear is ugly. Nothing," Hyunjin slurred a little on his words but you smiled warmly at him, opening the car door before helping him sit on the passenger seat.

"That's sweet of you but-" You tried to speak but before you could even finish your sentence Hyunjin was shaking his head at you and turning to face Chan who was doing his best to hold back his laughter.

"It's true. Isn't it true Hyung?! Don't I tell you how beautiful Yn is?!" Your whole body was burning at the sudden attention that you were getting from Hyunjin. It was true, Chan knew that Hyunjin had the biggest crush on you which was half of the reason he had called for you to come and collect him rather than a taxi. He'd hoped that in Hyunjin's drunken state, he would somehow manage to let it slip that he was madly in love with you and neither of you would tip-toe around your feelings anymore.

"Hyunjin, you're drunk, you don't know what you're saying." You didn't know if you were trying to convince yourself or him at this point but you couldn't take the compliments. Even when he would compliment you when he was sober you found it hard to accept them or even listen to them. Maybe it was because you found him completely and utterly breathtaking and couldn't possibly believe he would think the same way about you but it was hard for you to accept his compliments.

"Yes, I do. Hyung! Tell her," Hyunjin whined ever so slightly, fidgeting in his seat like a toddler who couldn't get his own way.

"He does compliment you fairly often," Chan smirks as he gets into the back of the car, leaving you to get into the driver's side as you bit down on your lip. As soon as you sat down and did your seatbelt up Hyunjin took your chin between his thumb and index finger and turned you to look in his direction,

"Exactly, I find you irresistible." Hyunjin laughed a little, looking at you with hunger in his eyes while your whole body burnt as you slowly started up the car. It was going to be one long car journey if this was how Hyunjin was planning on spending his time with you.

The car ride had been painfully slow between all of the flirtatious remarks that were being spat in your direction, along with the small touches that Hyunjin was giving to you. It started with holding your hand and then his hand would casually fall onto your thigh as he slowly rubbed circles into the fabric of your PJs.

"You're upset with me," Hyunjin pouted as you tucked him into his bed, smiling weakly as you brushed his hair out of his face and shook your head at him. There was no way you could ever be upset with him, you were just doing your best to bite back all of the feelings tonight was bringing up for you.

"No, I'm not." You shook your head at him, you smiled weakly a little though and it still didn't do much to convince Hyunjin that you weren't mad at him.

"You are. You're upset and I demand to know why." He cried out as he sat up straight, staring at you as he waited for you to say something.

"You demand?" You laughed weakly, sitting on the edge of his bed and looking at him as he nodded his head at you, placing his hands on his hips as he smirked.

"Yes."

"Sorry, My king." You called out dramatically while doing half a bow but Hyunjin turned your head up to look at him, he didn't want this to be some kind of joke. If he'd done something to upset you he wanted to know what it was so he could make sure never to do it again in the future.

"Did I do something wrong? Is it because I've been complimenting you...Because everything I said is true." He said slowly, running his thumb along your skin as you shook your head doing your best to get his hands off you.

"Hyunjin, you're drunk. You don't know what you're saying." You laughed weakly, you didn't want to put too much thought into how he was acting right now in case all of this was just him being lonely and drunk.

"Would a drunk person tell the girl he's been madly in love with for four years that he'd been madly in love with her?" You frowned at him, he'd never told you he loved someone before. As far as you knew Hyunjin had been far too busy focusing on his studies to even think of someone romantically,

"You love someone? Who?" There was a sudden pang of jealousy spreading through you as you thought of Hyunjin with another girl and you hated yourself for it. Hyunjin wasn't yours but you didn't want him to have anyone else.

"You." You groaned and shoved him back to laying down, shaking your head at him as you scoffed a little.

"See, you're drunk. You have no idea what you're saying." You pulled a blanket from the bottom of the bed and laid it over the top of the duvet.

"I know exactly what I'm saying. I just hate that it's taken me four years and a whoooollleeeee lot of alcohol for me to ever be able to say anything to you." He mumbled sadly but you shook your head at him and tucked him back into the bed.

"We'll talk in the morning IF you remember." You tapped his nose softly but he took your hand in his and shook his head,

"We WILL talk in the morning." He smirked at you, quickly kissing your cheek as you bent down to give him a hug, your whole body aflame as you left his room for the night.

In fact, the next morning he remembered and while he had been embarrassed about the way his feelings had come out he wasn't upset that he'd finally told you the truth. It had been years and he'd gotten sick of holding back the secret, every day he'd wanted to tell you the truth.

"Hyunjin? I thought you'd be too hungover for food." You laughed awkwardly not knowing what he did and didn't remember from the night before and you weren't sure how to act around him right now.

"I wanted to make breakfast as an "I'm sorry" for last night," Your heart plunged to the floor as you thought about it. He must have remembered and instantly regret everything he'd told you.

"Oh...O-Oh, right. Yeah," You scratched the back of your neck and shook your head trying your best to come up with some lie to get you out of there as quickly as humanly possible.

"I'm not hungry. I promised Minho I'd go and help him pack." It was a lie, you knew it and Hyunjin knew it since Minho would never let anyone else help him.

"Yn," Hyunin called out as you backed out of the room, you did your best to be quicker than Hyunjin but he trapped your body between him and the wall of the living room.

"I meant every word I said to you last night. Every...Single...word. I love you," He ran his hand over your cheek as he cupped your face in his embrace, your face burning up against his touch.

"I love you too." You whispered, swallowing the nervous lump that had formed in your throat and he smirked at you, he enjoyed watching your squirm because of him.

"The breakfast is the apology for the way the feelings had come out. I should have been confident enough to come to you while I was sober,"

"I wish you were sober last night, I would have confessed too." You giggled a little as he winked at you,

"It's not too late to confess now," He wiggled his eyebrows as he snaked his arm around your waist and began to lead you back to the kitchen so that the two of you could talk some more about everything.

tagline: @chiisaiblog @hanasonmi @sw33tnight @army24--7 @acciocriativity @scarletemeterio @halesandy @aerastus @laylasbunbunny @critssq @lenfilms @btsiguess-kpop @meowmeowisdaname @imafivestarkpopstan @lost-leopard-beanie

#skz #skz x reader #skz imagine #skz imagines #stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagine #stray kids imagines #hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin imagine #hyunjin imagines #hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin imagine #hwang hyunjin imagines

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quinloki · 1 year ago

Note

I'm not even into yandere normally but I'm thinking about a polyam yandere situation with some of the WBP division commanders. Maybe you were a stowaway, maybe you were a hostage they couldn't bear to get rid of. Regardless you're entrapped between the group of them now. With such a large crew someone always has eyes on you. They rotate you between different DCs to sleep with, like a prized possession they share.

Also, if anyone is too harsh with you, there's always Marco to heal and soothe any injuries. He seems like the softest, most rational one--but in reality he's the most obsessed.

WB lets it happen--anything to keep his sons happy and under control.

Help it's too early to have these thoughts OTL

… you can’t do this to me.

You can’t

I…

Gods -

You get hurt defending one of them- you’re no one really, just some islander, never left your village hardly never mind your island, but the WBP have been protecting the place for half your life. You watched things improve.

Like most people you lookup to them, so when other pirates start a fight with them at port you’re staying out of the way, but you’re also close by. You’re not much of a fighter, but you want to see them fight, you want to witness your heroes being heroes. You’re so unskilled comparatively that you don’t realize that Marco isn’t moving because he knows an attack is coming, you think the attack is working.

Moving before you can speak the realization hits all three of you at once. The pirate turns toward you as Marco turns to see who those third person is, and it all happens just fast enough he can’t stop you from taking the strike. Clumsy and accidental, it’s still deep. Deadly, if not mortal.

The white beard pirates erupt in ferocity - they had been holding back cause they don’t treat weaker crews cruelly, but now someone under their care has been harmed. The battle barely lasts a second after that.

You’re in Marco’s arms, flames flaring around you as he takes you back to the ship. It takes days - fighting off infection and fever with his help, he and some of the other commanders listen your fever dreams - your devotion, and they watch you struggle to live. The offending crew will be on the bottom of the ocean if you don’t pull through.

When you come around there’s a celebration. You are quickly effectively adopted by the crew. You’re so enamored with all of them, these great men you idolize, that you are on your best and kindest behavior. You couldn’t dare to put them out or offend them.

By the time you’re fully recovered you realize that something’s wrong. No one’s talking about how they’ll miss you. No one’s talking about getting you home. They’ve talked about your room, your space, your home and you realize they don’t mean the island.

You stand at the railing of the great ship, so large you hadn’t barely felt the list and tilt of the waves from your recovery bed, and you see naught but sea.

Marco puts a hand on your shoulder and when you look up at him you see a darkened face and fiery eyes, a fierce and demanding gaze hidden in the hooded eyes that always seemed so docile. Thatch, Izou, Ace, and a couple other commanders are standing around. Their kind smiles and warm expressions slightly off just like Marco’s.

Menacing to you with your new understanding.

“Don’t worry, yoi.” Marco says, even and clear voice oddly reassuring, equally terrifying. “We’ll keep you safe, pretty bird.”

And Marco is the constant. It’s his eyes you see in the dim edges of the kitchen when the drugged food Thatch is giving you starts to take effect. Marco sitting in for tea with Izou, while you’re bound in shibari, elegant and beautiful and immobile. Marco who pulls Ace off you when he’s fallen asleep buried inside you and you’re too tried to get out from under him.

Marco who sits on Pops’ shoulder when you’re called to talk to the Captain.

Marco who soothes your rope burns and relieves the ache of bruising marks even as he moves over you, laying you down so sweetly beneath him. Don’t worry sweet little bird, he’ll be so gentle, so precise, so sing for him in that song that no one else gets to hear.

#quin answers #tenzeniths #marco the phoenix #cw yandere #white beard pirates #reader insert #x reader

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oddinary4bts · 2 years ago

Note

Okay so I saw this pic and almost cried cuz he looks so sweet and happy! Could I get something fluffy about dad jk? Maybe yall went surprise him at a performance or shoot or u can make up something else just the vibes I got from this pic made me 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

I have the mother instincts of a rock, and even less of a wish to ever have kids, and yet this little drabble made me want to have kids with Jeon Jungkook.... what is wrong with me?

Let Me Kiss Your Mom | jjk

☆pairing: dad!Jungkook x mom!reader

☆rating: 13+

☆genre: slice of life!au, idol!au, fluff

☆warnings: unedited, the use of the word stupid once haha I think that's pretty much it, let me know if there's something else!

☆word count: 1.2k

☆☆☆☆☆

Getting the girls ready is always a challenge. They’re twins, and at five years old they seem to have discovered chaos. It seems it’s their new favourite thing – wreaking havoc on your home, making it practically impossible for you to have them ready in time for the company car to pick you up for the show tonight in Seoul.

It’s not the twins’ first time seeing Jungkook and the other members perform – it has lost its magic to them for a reason you don’t understand. You don’t think you’ll ever be bored of watching Jungkook perform. There is just something about him on the stage that just feels right… maybe because that is how you met him all those years ago. But you can imagine that in a five years old perspective, playing the latest Switch game is much more interesting than watching daddy run around a stage belting out tunes after tunes.

Luckily enough, when you tell them that you have a chocolate bar for each of them that they’ll get once you are settled at the venue, the twins cooperate. You dress them prettily – Soyeong with her favourite purple dress and Sohee with the pink dress Jungkook bought her the last time he went to Paris.

Soyeong has the same dress, but she hates it, so you don’t even try to dress them in matching outfits. They hate it anyway, and you have a tendency to listen to what they want on stuff like that. It’s not like it matters a lot.

Soon enough, you are able to walk out of the fancy apartment, making your way downstairs where the company car is waiting for you. The girls are yapping about something, but you only half-listen to them. They’re in their own world, and whenever they are you can barely understand what they’re saying. It’s like they have their own language, and as twins you assume that they have.

You sit in the car, and Soyeong tells Sohee to put her seatbelt on in a surprisingly good impression of Jungkook. It makes you laugh, right as the car starts moving towards the venue.

Sohee falls asleep with her head on your shoulder five minutes into the ride, while Soyeong dozes off with her own head resting on the window. It’s endearing – just like Jungkook, the moment the twins are in a moving car they fall asleep. When they were babies, you used that technique more than once to get them to calm down whenever they cried too much and you didn't know what to do anymore.

Once you get to the venue, there’s a flurry of activity, and you hold their hands tightly to make sure they don’t run off. Even if they are mostly hidden from the public, you don’t want people recognizing them. After all, they do have Jungkook’s unmistakable doe gaze, and you know the fans can recognize Jungkook’s gaze anywhere.

Fortunately, you make it into the venue without anyone seeing you, and you follow a staff member as they lead you towards the dressing room where the boys currently are getting ready in. The first one you see is Namjoon, and he waves at Sohee as she saunters towards him. He bends down to hug her, before straightening.

“Jungkook is almost done with makeup,” he tells you as a greeting, motioning to the back of the room, where mirrors are lined on the wall.

You catch Jungkook’s gaze in the mirror, and like always it feels like everything slows around you. For a moment, it’s just you and him, and you share a secretive smile, like you know the secrets to the universe. It takes a few seconds before Soyeong spots him, but the moment she does she runs like crazy, and he barely has time to get up before she’s jumping in his arms.

“Daddy!” she exclaims, and he bends down as Sohee arrives too.

He picks the two twins up, spinning them around as they erupt in a fit of giggle. His giggles join in almost immediately, and the sound makes your heart flutter as you smile at them fondly. You walk towards them as he keeps spinning the girls, and you laugh as Yoongi cocks an eyebrow and says, “I’m never having kids”.

Yet he’s looking at the trio with a fond smile on his lips, because you know that deep down Yoongi is probably the biggest softie of the group.

When Jungkook finally puts the girls down, he straightens to look at you. Sohee complains that she wants more, but Jungkook only flicks her nose. “I have to say hi to my princess too.”

“I’m your princess!” she yells indignantly, with all that fire and ire only a five year old can produce.

“No it’s me!” Soyeong argues, little fits adorably posed on her hips.

Jungkook shakes his head at them, offering them the smirk that ravished your heart when you first started dating him. “Your mother is my princess. You two are my little duchesses.”

“What’s a duchess?” Soyeong asks, but Jungkook ignores her as you arrive in front of him.

He immediately pulls you into a tight hug, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “You look stunning.”

You smile lovingly, turning your head to press your lips against his. You wish time would stop and you could kiss him as much as you want, but Sohee lets out a loud “Ew!” that has both you and Jungkook dissolving into a fit of giggles.

“Let me kiss your mom,” Jungkook scolds, offering your daughter a pout.

“You’re not going to spin me around?” you tease.

He laughs, resuming his attention on you as Uncle Taehyung finally comes in to save the day, pulling your daughters behind him.

“Do you want me to spin you around?” he asks, and he’s already picking you up when you snort, shaking your head no.

“Just kiss me, stupid.”

He smiles as he puts you down and pecks your nose, but then he really does kiss you, his soft lips feeling like heaven against yours. You sigh contently into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his dainty waist. His hands slowly go up, until he’s cupping your cheeks with his most gentle touch, the one that makes you want to wrap yourself in an ocean of him, of his comfort and of your love for him.

When you pull away from the kiss, Jungkook pecks your forehead once, before pulling away enough to look you in the eyes.

“Thank you for coming,” he says, with that lovesick gaze he only reserves to you.

“Of course,” you reply, and then you rest your head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeats. “I’ll always come to see you perform. Even if the girls wanted to play the Switch tonight.”

He laughs goofily. “I shouldn’t have bought that game.”

“They love it,” you say, nodding against him.

“And I love them,” he murmurs, and you can tell that he’s looking at where they are across the room, giggling at what Taehyung and Jimin are saying.

“I love you,” you reply softly and you think that that, most of all, is the biggest truth in this universe.

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gunilslaugh · 1 year ago

Text

Need Some Help Darling Pt.3

Kwak Jiseok Summary: You found yourself in trouble and needed to call Jiseok. (non-idol au) WC:~1.6k Warning:none

part 1 part 2 epilogue!

photo not mine credits to owner.

Ring! Ring! Ring! Your phone rang, it was a call from your dad. He told you that he would be working late tonight, so you figured he was probably calling to check in.

“Hello,” you said, answering the call.

“Your dad is drunk and needs to be picked up. Can you come get him?” An unfamiliar voice spoke. Drunk? He was supposed to be at work. Why would he lie about going out to drink?

“Uh…yeah I can come get him. Where is he at?” The guy on the other side of the phone told you the location.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you arrived at the location you began to feel uneasy. It seemed like a really sketchy place. You thought about leaving, but your dad was supposed to be here, so you took a calming breath and kept walking. You arrived in front of a neon sign that read the name of the location. Despite your gut telling you not too, you entered the building.

“I was called to pick up my dad. He’s drunk,” you said upon entering the place. You didn’t walk too far inside the place, opting to stay close to the door.

“Ah yes, we’ve been expecting you. Your dad is resting in the back. You can go get him.” A guy behind the counter tells you, guesting to a curtain that leads to the back. You looked at the curtain with an untrusting look. The guy behind the counter chuckles. “Or I could go get him if you don’t want to go back there,” he says.

“Please,” you ask. The guy gives you a nod then makes his way to walk through the curtain.

“Come on get up. Your kid’s here to pick you up.” The guy's tone makes your stomach twist in knots. It sounded condescending. You found yourself pulling out your phone and opening up Jiseok’s contact. “Here he is.” The man returns with two other guys who are dragging your father out, your stomach drops. Your dad is badly beaten. “Dad! What’s going on?” you asked, going to your dad’s side. Your dad tries to shove you away.

“Go, run,” he says weakly.

“They can run, but I don’t think they’ll make it far. This is your fault anyway. You signed the deal remember, if you fail to pay back your debts your child is collateral.” The guy smiles at you sinisterly.

“Dad, what did you do?” you question.

“Run, I’m sorry, but please go. Get out of here,” he tells you.

“Your dad had been partaking in illegal gambling. He’s not very good at it. Seems like it’s time to pay the consequences.” The man looks at you with foe sympathy.

“Run,” your dad repeats.

“Go on go. Listen to your father. I'll give you a head start.” The guy smirks at you. You take one last look at your dad and rush out of the building.

You’re quick to hit the call button on Jiseok’s contact. The ringing feels like it lasts forever as you round a corner looking for a place to hide. Then you hear the line pick up.

“Jiseok?” You say with a quivering voice.

“What is it darling?” Jiseok asked.

“I need help,” you sniffed.

“What happened? Where are you? Are you hurt?” Jiseok’s questions followed each other rapidly.

“I’m scared. Someone called asking me to pick my dad up-” you hiccup. “B-because he was drunk, but when I got there my dad was beaten up and they said I was collateral for him not paying his debts. Jiseok I really need you,” you say. You can hear rustling on the other side of the phone.

“Where are you darling?” he asked you.

“I’m hiding. I ran and now I’m in some alley way hiding between a brick wall and a dumpster,” you tell him.

“Send me your location. I’ll come get you darling. It’ll be ok,” he tried to calm you.

“I’m scared,” you repeated as you sent your current location to Jiseok.

“It’s ok darling. I’m coming right now. I’ll be there soon. Stay on the phone with me ok?” he tells you.

“Ok,” you say. You pulled your knees into your chest. You feel hyper aware of everything. The brickwall that’s poking into your back. The pebbles digging into your bottom. The cool metal of the dumpster pressing against your shoulder. You can hear footsteps getting closer. “Jiseok I can hear footsteps,” you panicked.

“I’m almost there, it's ok. I need you to be really quiet darling.” You nodded your head even though he couldn’t see it. You put your hand over your mouth and nose to muffle your labored breathing. The footsteps slowly started to fade away. Allowing you to relax a little.

“They're gone,” you informed.

“Good. I’m really close. Just stay where you are,” he told you. Jiseok will be here soon. Jiseok will be here soon. You kept repeating to yourself in an effort to calm down. Suddenly you heard footsteps again and they were getting closer.

“Jiseok’s someone’s coming.” Once again panic filled your veins. “Jiseok!” you repeated his name again when he didn’t answer.

“It’s me darling.” You lifted your head up to see Jiseok standing in front of you.

“That’s not funny. I told you I was scared!” you let out a cry. Jiseok crouches down and helps you stand up.

“I know. I’m sorry. You’re ok now darling, I got you.” You fell against him. Your tears soaking his shirt. Jiseok’s arms come around your waist, holding you tight. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.” He holds you close to his side as he guides you out of the alley way.

“Now what brings you to my part of town Jiseok?” You heard the sound of that guy's voice again. Jiseok tightens his grip around you.

“I’m picking my darling,” Jiseok speaks casually.

“Your darling? Hate to break it to you, but they belong to me now,” the guy states. Jiseok laughs.

“The only person they belong to is me. You want to collect them as collateral, but how do you think I got them? Their father failed to pay me back, so I took them,” Jiseok bluffed. “They already belonged to me when their father signed that contract with you, so hate to break it to you, they’re mine,” Jiseok mocked them.

“How about we share them then? We used to be partners. For old times sake?” the guy suggested.

Partner? Jiseok used to work with this guy? He worked or works in illegal gambling?

Jiseok scoffed, “You know I’m possessive over what’s mine. That’s why we went our separate ways isn’t it? Cause you were spending my money, taking my profit,” Jiseok glared at the guy. “I won’t let you anywhere near them.” Jiseok took a step in front of you, hiding you behind him. “You clearly have some business to figure out. I’m leaving with my darling now.” Jiseok wraps his other arm around you just for good measure as he continues to lead you to his car.

Once you two are at his car he opens the door for you and helps you in before running around to the other side to get in himself.

“Are you ok?” He turned to look at you.

“What about my dad?” you looked at him. Jiseok reached to take one of your hands.

“I’ll send some of my men to take care of it ok?” he told you.

“Thank you,” you say.

“You don’t need to thank me darling. As long as you’re ok. That’s what I care about,” he states. He starts the car and begins to drive.

“Can you take me back to your place?” you asked, stunning Jiseok.

“You don’t want to go home?” he asked.

“I do, but I also don’t want to see my dad just yet. I’m worried about him, but I’m also mad at him,” you explained.

“Well I’m not gonna complain about being with my darling,” he states happily. He turned to smile at you and you smiled back. “I was scared too,” he admits, squeezing your hand that he was still holding.

“You were, why?” you questioned.

“I was scared you would get hurt,” he said.

“Why do you care about me Jiseok?” you asked another question.

“Cause you’re my darling,” he answered simply. You laughed.

“But why am I your darling?”

“Cause I love you,” he confessed. Your hand went slack in his.

“Huh?” you let out. Jiseok laughs brightly.

“I love you. It’s a bit surprising right? I fell in love with you when you called me an asshole. I felt the need to protect you ever since I kidnapped you, ironically enough,” he chuckled.

“I always feel safe with you,” you revealed, squeezing his hand. Jiseok smiled.

“Good, cause you’re always safe with me.” He brought your hand up to his mouth and pressed a kiss to your delicate knuckles. It makes your heart flutter.

“You may be a bad guy to a lot of people, but you’re not one to me,” you tell him.

“What am I to you then?” he asked playfully.

“My asshole,” you joked.

“Hey!” Jiseok complained, making you laugh.

“Ok, ok, ironically enough you’re my hero. You always come when I’m in trouble,” you say.

“You're a knight in shining armor?”

“Mhm,” you nodded. “My knight in shining armor who makes me heart swoon,” you disclose.

“If I wasn’t driving right now, I’d kiss you,” he said. Succeeding in making your heart race.

“Then pull over,” you say feeling brave. You didn’t have to tell Jiseok twice as he wasted no time in pulling over to the side of the road. Before you knew it his lips were on yours.

Jiseok may be a bad guy, but he’s definitely not the bad guy of your story.

A/N: And with that this little series has come to an end. Writing villain xdianry heroes is so fun.

part 1 part 2 epilogue!

Taglist: @purplelady85 @gingerjunhan @chewednails @ezlynkisses @mon2sunjinsuver @mxlly143

#xdinary heroes #xdh #xdh imagines #xdh x reader #xdinary heroes imagines #xdinary heroes x reader #xh gaon #xh jiseok #xdh gaon #xdh jiseok #jiseok x reader #gaon x reader #kwak jiseok x reader #jiseok #kwak jiseok #gaon

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psychette · 6 months ago

Text

MiziTill and IvanTill analysis.

— First, understand Mizi, Till, and Ivan’s character.

Mizi’s guardian must’ve contributed to her naivety as arts of her with her guardian seemed sweeter than Till and Ivan’s interactions with aliens. Till was constantly thrown around and treated like garbage as his guardian ENJOYS TORTURE. Ivan is also treated horrible which contributes to his pessimistic personality compared to Mizi.

Mizi had something Ivan didn’t: Optimism. That’s most likely why Ivan didn’t hate Mizi when it was obvious Till has an infatuation with her. “When she smiled at me, my heart was reborn” which is obvious, Mizi’s brightness attracts people and which is why she’s able to make friends very easily. Ivan knew Till needed that, one of his ways of wanting to make Till as happy as Mizi does is by telling him how horrible Alien Stage is and wanting to run away with him.

I forgot which animatic but it’s shown that Ivan never had a red dot in his pupils until he saw Till. That must’ve been his sign of attraction. This same red dot is seen in Till’s eyes as he runs away with Ivan, he’s happy — until he thinks of Mizi. He remembers Mizi and thinks of what horrible things they’ll do to her if he leaves. The red dot disappears in Till’s eyes.

— Second, Till’s struggle with attachment.

Till clearly struggles with attachment as seen with Ivan, which is confirmed by VIVINOS on her Patreon, saying: “Till has a deep love-hate attachment with Ivan” which is one of the evidences that Till actually struggles so much with how to react when someone shows care for him.

What makes Ivan’s care different from Mizi’s though? Why couldn’t he accept Ivan’s but he could accept Mizi’s?

Ivan was close to him. He was always around him and even if they did fight, they would still hangout. While with Mizi, Till failed to even build a relationship with her. Evidence being Mizi’s intimacy score with Till: “He’s so distant… does he hate me?” And this is because that outside of rebelling, Till writes songs. It’s most likely a coping mechanism for him to vent his feelings. You can see in one of the animations as Till is writing something, Ivan is right next to him. This can be used as a symbol of their closeness. Even if Mizi wasn’t there, Ivan was.

Because of Till’s struggle with healthy attachment, he couldn’t react properly when someone genuinely built a bond with him, but he could with someone who barely hangs out with him.

This is a sign of avoidant attachment. Till’s struggle in how he can show love. After all, how can someone who has never been shown love by his own guardian give love? He was never even taught what actual love is.

— Third, difference between idolization and crushes.

According to VIVINOS on her Patreon she claims that Mizi is a “fantastical figure” to Till. As stated before, they barely interacted as Till was almost always in his own world (rebelling or writing music). Even though Till knows and speaks to Mizi, they don’t even have a bond anywhere close to how Till is with Ivan.

When you don’t build a bond with someone, you only perceive them as a figure. There’s very little to perceive about them when you aren’t close with them. This is how Mizi’s naivety and brightness comes into play, she was everything that Till isn’t. She isn’t a pessimistic, traumatized jerk who hits his own friend (Ivan) just because he gets frustrated with them.

Because of his trauma, he wanted to feel that too. Till put Mizi on a pedestal. This is IDOLIZATION. It’s a way to cope, a form of escapism from his harsh reality.

How can I be so sure it’s that? You can see it in Round 6. Mizi, already going through Round 1, is traumatized. She’s seen the worst. In Till’s flashback, she pictures Mizi in her Anakt Uniform when she was still innocent.

Conclusion: Till does love Ivan, but because of his attachment issues, he didn’t acknowledge that.

#ivantill #mizitill #alnst #alien stage #analysis

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kokinu09 · 6 months ago

Text

Let Go of the Reins || CHAPTER 8

~*~

pairing seungmin x fem!reader

genre strangers to lovers, romance, fluff, slight angst later, happy ending, social media, not meant to be, someday

summary Australia is considered home for two of the eight members. When two tour dates are scheduled for the land down under, the boys can’t help but want to spend a bit more time there to visit family and do a little sightseeing. So how do they convince the company that they need to stay a couple weeks? Filming some SKZ Code episodes.

A local riding school just outside the city with amazing reviews for their skilled instructors and beautiful horses is hosting a very popular kpop group to film their experiences. Y/N knows the group well and she just so happens to be their star working student.

status ongoing

taglist OPEN

A/N : Happy birthday Roo! 🎂

previous | masterlist | next

~*~

The next set of doors they pass through is bustling with activity. There are staff rushing around at every turn of your head but not a single one of them paying you any mind. Too busy worrying about completing their tasks for the (quickly approaching) concert.

Not that they could kick you out even if they wanted to. Not when you have the human Goliath with you, who was specifically assigned to bring you here. And keep you safe, you presume.

And Smitty does his job well, leading the two of you effortlessly around the crowded halls. With a path he has his mind set on and a determined furrow to his brow, he weaves around where others seem to be headed while still avoiding getting in anyone’s way and causing issues. You and Liv just try to keep on his coattail (since it doesn’t seem like he would slow down even if you asked) and stay out of the way, low-key more intimidated by the sheer coordination buzzing around you than the giant you’re following.

When he finally does stop, it’s to the side of a door with a placard labeled ’Dressing Room’ with a paper taped underneath it with ‘Stray Kids’ printed in thick black letters. Your body freezes. How had you spent the last three days straight hanging out with them and you’re still this nervous to see them?!

Oh right, because they are world-famous idols.

Smitty turns to the two of you with his hands slightly raised. “Wait right here and I’ll come back to get you when it’s ok to come in.” He instructs. He doesn’t wait for a response from you though as he dutifully slips through the door, leaving you and Liv to stew in your nerves.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe this is really happening!” Liv squeals. Her excited energy is infectious, seeping into your skin and chasing away the anxiousness until you’re bouncing on the balls of your feet right along with her.

“Do you think we’ll get to see them afterward too?” You ask, quickly backtracking into a rant to explain yourself. “I mean it’s pretty close to the start of the concert! So I doubt they’ll have much time before…and I should just be grateful that he wanted to see me before! But I can’t help hoping, that maybe—”

“Y/N,” Liv stops you with gentle hands gripping your shoulders, “it’s ok to want more.” She tells you softly. And you know she’s not talking about the perks of the concert.

Your mind starts to race in debate as to whether it could be true or not. Would it really be ok to want something more like a relationship out of this situation? Could you really ask that of him when you know how complicated it would make things for him? The words embed themselves into your brain and you’re sure you won’t be able to stop thinking about them before you fall asleep tonight.

“For now though,” she pulls you back out of your drowning thoughts, “let’s just enjoy the time we do have and cross our fingers that we get to attend their after-party!” And the way she’s jumping around like a peppy cheerleader has you doubling over in laughter.

You’re momentarily grateful that you have her here with you. Have her as your best friend. Where would you be without her, after all?

The door suddenly swings open as you’re in the midst of teasing your friend for her jovial behavior. You turn around to face the person opening the door for you, expecting Smitty to be ducked down in the doorway to avoid bumping his head, but when you look up, you find none other than the boy who has been plaguing your thoughts.

“Seungmin,” you breathe in surprise.

He surges towards you before you can even process what he’s doing, wrapping his arms around you as soon as you’re in reach. “I’m so glad you made it!” He excitedly says beside your ear.

Your arms automatically return the hug even through your surprise, a warmth spreading up your neck all the way to your ears that you know is an embarrassingly red blush. The arms around you give one last squeeze before pulling back to release you.

If disappointment wells up in your chest at the loss, it will go with you to the grave.

But the smile that he gives you is a thousand watts of pure sunshine and outrageously infectious. Your face splits into a wide grin.

Crescent-shaped eyes scan your face before he takes notice of your outfit. “Wow, you look amazing,” he says, sounding in awe as his eyes meet yours again. So much so, that you can’t help the blush more at his flattery.

“Oh, um, thank you but I’m nothing special. Compared to what you’re used to, I mean.” You quickly deflect. The smile on his face drops to a frown, mouth opening as if he’s about to say something but a sudden shout from inside the dressing room cuts him off.

“Hey Seungmin-ah! Your turn for makeup!” Lee Know’s voice calls.

The boy’s head swivels before returning to you with another excited smile. “Come on! You two can hang out with us while we finish getting ready!” He says, not waiting for your answer before grabbing your wrist and tugging you inside.

You only have half the mind to make sure Liv is following, refusing to let her get left behind. And you were relieved to see her bright-eyed and right on your heels.

The room quickly opens up from the small entryway but is filled with racks of clothes, vanity stations, and people galore. The staff are busy at work while you spot the boys scattered around the room laughing and playing around with one another when they’re not being beautified by the stylists. Even Smitty catches the corner of your eye leaning up against the wall chuckling at something Chan said to him that you can’t hear.

And speaking of spotting someone, Felix’s face lights up when his eyes land on you being tugged into their space. “Hey! Y/N and Olivia are here!” He announces as he rushes from his perch on the arm of one of the sofas in the center of the room.

“Ah! Liv, you’re really here!” Changbin’s loud exclaim has Han covering his ears and cringing away from where he sits right next to him. Turning, you see your friend’s undeniably blushing face.

“As if I would miss your concert!” She tries sounding cool but the nervousness in her laugh gives her away. You honestly can’t remember a time when you’ve ever seen your bestie this shy. If you weren’t also a ball of nerves, you’d probably be teasing her about it.

But as it stands, you’re no better off.

All of the guys greet the two of you, a chorus of annyeonghaseyo’s. Felix even prancing over to give you each a hug. But it’s the hand still loosely holding your hand that distracts you from hearing anything else.

You risk a glance down, having to make sure you’re not just imagining the contact. Maybe his touch had just burned an imprint into your skin and you’re hallucinating. But you’re thankful to know that you haven’t gone crazy ‘cause, yup, that’s Seungmin’s hand still holding yours.

Liv’s words from earlier wreak havoc in your mind. ‘It’s ok to want more,’ replays over and over.

When you finally look up, his eyes are watching you, waiting to see your reaction. “Is this ok?” He asks softly when he has your attention. You feel like your brain is short-circuiting.

Maybe…maybe Liv is right and he does feel the same. But if that is true, how do you process this information? How are you supposed to act when you’re not completely convinced this won’t end badly for the two of you?

You swallow down the internal crisis threatening to ruin the amazing concert you’re about to experience and focus on being in the moment instead. Slowly, you twist your wrist ever so slightly, Seungmin loosening his grip with curious eyes watching you still. Your fingers lace between his, testing the waters by closing your grasp. He returns the pressure, squeezing your hand as bright excited eyes beaming back at you.

It was all the answer he needed.

And suddenly you’re being pulled along by your conjoined hands. “Come sit with me while they touch up my makeup,” he suggests.

You allow yourself to let out a giddy laugh, following him like a lost puppy. With the tiny bit of sense you have left, you barely check in that it was also okay with Liv for you to basically abandon her, just to find that she has already abandoned you to find a comfy spot on the sofa between Changbin and Han giggling away.

If your eye catches Chan throwing a knowing smirk towards the two of you, you choose not to acknowledge it.

It feels more secluded when Seungmin sits in a vanity chair and offers for you to sit beside him, the other members preoccupied across the room and only the makeup artist hovering around him. You stay quiet while the lady doing his makeup speaks to him briefly before getting to work.

“How has your day been?” Seungmin asks, making you sputter out a laugh of disbelief. “What?” He follows up in confusion at your indignant noise.

”You’re seriously asking me about my day?! My day was boring until now!” You laugh at how ridiculous it all sounds.

“Well tell me about your ‘boring’ day then!” He chuckles along, not intending for it to seem like small talk but a genuine question since he is actually interested in your day.

“Do you know what the term ‘boring’ means? I think you’re confused.”

The look he gives you makes your heart sputter and the laughter in your throat dies out. His eyes are adoring, as if you hung the stars and the moon revolves around you instead of the earth.

“What you find boring will be very interesting to me,” is how he replies sincerely.

You mutter and sputter under your breath as you try to formulate actual words out of your flustered state. Seungmin chuckles lightly to himself, allowing you to compose yourself as he closes his eyes for the makeup artist to do her job.

It feels so much longer than it actually is before you’ve regained control over your cognition. “Liv and I had to take care of some things with the horses before we could come here. That’s all,” you tell him.

“Oh yeah? Did you take good care of Pearl this morning?” He asks in a happy tone.

“I did, actually. She and Storm decided they wanted to play tag with me and refused to come inside until I played with them,” a laugh bubbling out as you tell the story.

“See? At least they know how to have some fun!” He teases.

“Hey! I’m fun!” You cry indignantly.

The smirk Seungmin gives you and the sparkle in his eyes show his mirth. “Oh I know you are,” he tells you honestly.

Your face flushes, left sputtering and flustered by his words. He chuckles under his breath, leaning his head back as the makeup artist requests before muttering a quiet “cute” to himself.

“You have got to stop saying things like that to me,” you mumble in embarrassment through the fingers covering your face.

“I have no idea what you mean,” he counters, playing as innocent as possible to get that extra rise out of you.

“You definitely know what I mean.”

The smirk he gives reminds you of the cat that got the cream. That’s when you realize what he’s doing. Your eyes narrow playfully as he’s preoccupied with the powder puff pummeling his face.

Two can play at this game.

Just then, the makeup artist interrupts to say she’s finished with a quick and polite bow to leave. It’s just the two of you now and you can tease him right back.

“You know, it’s not so easy wrangling in two horses who wanna play keep away,” you say in an airy tone.

“Or~ they just wanted to play with you,” he counters, turning towards you with his full attention.

You smirk as you reply, “So you think I would be fun to play with?”

Seungmin’s face instantly turns a bright shade of red, his eyes wide in surprise at your boldness. “Uh—um, I-I, ehem,” he stammers, trying to clear his throat to slow his racing heart.

You had expected him to quip back. Maybe get a little flustered, but not completely speechless! The gears in your brain turn with why he’s so embarrassed.

Then it clicks.

“OH MY GOD!!” You scream in horror. “I didn’t mean it like that!! I’m so sorry!!”

Seungmin laughs when he realizes the misunderstanding, reaching out to gently take hold of your wrists and pull your hands from covering your face. Your eyes meet his, your skin tingling where his touches.

“It’s alright. I won’t tell anyone,” He promises with an adorable grin. You can’t help but stare at him. His smile softens, hands sliding from around your wrists until your hands rest in his.

It feels like time slows down for a moment. Just the two of you and nothing else in the world matters.

“Oi!” The sudden shout from across the room startles you, but Seungmin keeps one of your hands captured in his grasp. “What’s all the screaming about?” It was Felix’s curiosity getting the better of him.

Your face heats up, mouth falling open just to close again, floundering for any kind of excuse but coming up short. Seungmin gives your hand a light squeeze, a subtle assurance that he’ll handle it. It’s safe to say you’re about to be completely humiliated for a raunchy joke you didn’t even mean to make.

“Nothing! I made her think I moved her seats to the very back row ‘cause she was making fun of me!” He lies for you easily. Relief floods your system and you allow your spine to relax. But then you hear the high-pitched whine from Liv.

“Y/N! Don’t you dare get us kicked to the back!” She cries dramatically. “Binnie~! You won’t let him put me in the back will you~?”

The way Changbin immediately leaps out of his seat and starts barreling towards you two. Seungmin’s hand retracts from yours to protect himself as his hyung playfully jumps on him.

“Seungmin-ah! How could you threaten to take away their stage front seats!” Changbin bellows with a laugh. The other boys laugh and root between the two boys but you and Olivia freeze.

If you weren’t focused on seeing if she had the same reaction, you might have been worried you gave yourself whiplash from how fast you turned to look at her. And if her eyes being the size of saucers was any indication, she had no clue either. You physically shake your head in disbelief as you regain a fraction of your cognition.

“Very funny,” you finally say with a laugh, causing both boys to stop play-fighting and turn to look at you. “Seungmin already told me the barricades were sold out. But we’ll be happy with any seat that’s closer than the nose bleeds!” You smile bright and sincere.

Changbin’s brow scrunches in confusion before he looks at the younger boy beside him. One glance around and you see all the boys are looking between each other and are oddly quiet.

“What?” You ask, suddenly self-conscious that you’d said something you shouldn’t have.

“You didn’t tell them?” Chan questions from across the room. You quickly look from him to Seungmin, who you know he’s talking to.

“Tell me what?” You press, your anxiousness eating its way into your chest.

“Thanks for ruining the surprise, Old Man,” Seungmin grumbles.

“W-wait, what?” You say as if he weren’t just about to get in a fight with Chan.

He turns to you, features shy as he scratches the back of his neck. “Well, yeah, the barricades were sold out so I talked with our staff and have a spot near the sound booth in front of the stage for you to watch the show.”

You stare at him wide-eyed for the millionth time. They can’t be serious— He can’t be serious. The mysterious seats he moved you to are even closer than the barricade?? There is no way.

“Oh. No. No, no! We can’t—! How—I—!” You suck in a deep breath and let it go to calm the raging beat of your heart that starts pounding in your ears. It only helps a little bit. “Thank you. Really. But we can’t accept those seats.”

The whiny scoff from Liv across the room cuts through the otherwise silent room. “But why can’t weeee?”

“Because we’ll just be in the way!” You hiss at her, then soften your tone again as you regard Seungmin again. “It was very sweet of you to pull the strings you did but we don’t need special treatment like that. Just being here with you is enough.”

His wide eyes are filled with awe as he stares back at you. You can’t place why he’s looking at you that way. The only thing you’ve done is speak the truth.

“Y/N, it’s really not a problem!” Chan tries to assure you as he and the other boy make their way closer.

“Yeah! We want both of you to be there, Noona!” Jeongin adds.

“Think of it as a thank you for putting up with us the past several days!” Felix joins in cheerfully.

“And for putting so much thought into pairing us with the perfect horse companions,” Hyunjin says before sighing wistfully. “I miss Daisy already.”

This makes you laugh under your breath as the other boys all voice their agreement. You vaguely notice Changbin moving to hover closer to Olivia who had also migrated from the sofa cushions.

“What would I have done if Hannie’s horse hadn’t stayed beside mine so I could hold his hand if I got scared?!” Minho adds with a dramatic shout.

“Hey!” Han squawks. “Quit being weird, Hyung! This isn’t about you!”

Just about everyone paid the two no mind, but their antics still make you laugh. It didn’t ease the uneasiness that has settled in your stomach at the prospect of taking advantage of their kindness though.

“But guys, it’s just too much. I can’t—”

“You can, Y/N,” Seungmin corrects you, softly taking your hand back into his. “We want both of you to be there for us. I want you to be there, for me.”

His admission surprises you, but you realize then that it really shouldn’t. He’s done nothing but make it abundantly clear that he wants you beside him since day one. Yet, for some reason, it’s still so hard to believe.

“No one deserves it more than you,” he says as if it were fact, an unquestionable truth that he believes.

“But I—”

“Y/N, I love you, you’re my best friend, and I will follow you on whatever decision you make on this. But please just think about it for a second before you jump on the self-deprecating train again,” Liv begs, hands folded and all for added emphasis.

You stare at her for a long moment before your eyes drift around the other faces in the room. The mix of nervous and worried faces looking back at you leaves you wondering, do they really deem you worthy of such a gift?

When you finally turn back to Seungmin, you’re not sure if you’ll ever get used to the way his eyes sparkle when he’s looking at you. But it’s hard to deny him when he’s looking at you like you’re the one who hung the stars in the sky.

It honestly takes your breath away, your fingers giving his a light squeeze.

“Ok,” you agree softly. Seungmin’s smile beams at you as the room exhales a collective sigh of relief. A renewed buzz of excitement sparks up conversations around you but you’re too engrossed in the boy in front of you to pay that close of attention to them.

“I promise you won’t regret it,” he tells you softly so the others can’t hear. You offer him a small smile to that.

“I know I won’t,” you tease, getting a chuckle from him.

A body suddenly appears beside you before engulfing you in a big hug. “Seungminnie would have been devastated if you’d denied those seats!” Felix teases the younger just across from you. And you hear his huff of annoyance since you had let go of his hand again.

“He says as if he wouldn’t be crying on stage the entire time for the same reason,” Seungmin fires back.

A giggle bubbles up in your chest as you tighten your hug around Felix in a protective gesture and your face masked in dramatic shock. “Kim Seungmin! You’re supposed to be a Sunshine Protector!” You playfully scold.

A pout scrunches his face but you can see the mirth in his eyes. Felix pokes his tongue out at him in victory and it’s all over. You laugh as he gets lunged at and yips before he takes off running.

Lee Know manages to snag the blonde ball of sunshine and drag him into a loose headlock. Seungmin laughs in triumph before Hyunjin grabs him from behind, trapping his arms at his sides with a loud cackle.

The room has completely erupted into chaos as the other boys join in. Except for Changbin who is watching casually on the sidelines beside your best friend. You won’t mention how his arm is flexed just so as he leans against the couch where Liv could have a free view of the gun show.

Watching them all play around with each other, without the camera or trying to put on a show, it’s clear that the friendship they have is real. And it’s so much deeper than just a friendship. These boys are brothers.

You make a decision at that moment. A decision that will change everything for you.

You decide that you could get used to this.

~*~

taglist

@kangaracha @rainfallingfromthesky @puppysmileseungmin @defnotfertilizedtoesw @teenyfinds

@bbokari711 @lakoya @chlodavids @rylea08 @chanshugsaretherapy

@palindrome969 @keepswingin

#let go of the reins #seungmin x reader #stray kids smau #skz smau #stray kids fic #kokinu09 writes

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flameraven · 9 months ago

Text

Very thoughtful commentary about artists, Neil Gaiman in particular, and parasocial relationships more generally. Excerpt:

They’re just people. Whose work is making the stuff you like! And that’s great, but that’s not a substantive basis for idolizing them. It makes no more sense to idolize them than to idolize a baker who makes cookies you like, or the guy who comes and trims your hedges the way you want them to be trimmed, or the plumber who fixes your clogged drain. You can appreciate what they do, and even admire the skill they have. But holding them up as a life model might be a bit much. Which is the point! If you’re not willing to idolize a plumber, then you shouldn’t idolize a creative person.

Which brings up the next point:

#john scalzi #neil gaiman allegations #parasocial relationships

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