#and this scene from flames because the mental imagery was just too good

[moodrose]

flames unforgiving 🐦‍🔥🗡

[loudlyunladylike]

you got any c!niki songs?

This ask is hella old so my apologies, but hi hi hello!!! ee!! So ok I'm actually in the process of making a lil playlist rn (very small at the moment because I can't remember all of them oops so I'm taking suggestions 👉👈) so I thought I would just go through my thoughts on each of those at the mo!

1. "Burning House" by Cam

I made a post featuring this one! Gives me Pogtopia Niki and Will vibes, they are both stuck in these separate places filled with pain and hurt but Wilbur can't get Niki out of Manberg because it wouldn't be safe and Niki can't get Wilbur out of Pogtopia as his mental health keeps getting worse and worse ("I had a dream about a burning house, you were stuck inside I couldn't get you out") but alas throughout the whole time they still cared about eachother, they still tried, Wilbur shows up at her birthday party and saves her at the festival, Niki stands alone against the rest of Manberg to stand up for not just herself but also Wilbur and Tommy ("I'll stay here with you until this dream is gone") . To me this song also feels like looking back in hindsight maybe more from the perspective of her alone in her secret city, as her own mental health declines and she locks herself away due to her night terrors ("I've been sleepwalking too close to the fire but it's the only place that I can hold you tight") especially with all the parallels that can be drawn between Niki and Wilbur's declining mental health at that point ("I lay beside you and pulled you close and the two of us went up in smoke")

2. "Pretty Little Things" by The Crane Wives

Ok so I first heard this song in this Niki animatic so I can direct you right over there because god it is good I actually get chills watching it. So I think they demonstrate it quite well in that but to give you a vague idea, it gives me the vibes of Niki around doomsday era; she's still sad about missing Wilbur ("Past loves linger like phantom limbs") but she's also angry and she is done. There's also a depiction of the green festival where Niki's anger at Will starts projecting on to Tommy and she feels like she simply can't trust him and stay at his side ("But trust is now something I make people earn, so I'm not inclined to just give it away to a pair of blue eyes with some nice things to say"). I am also a massive fan of my Niki and hope symbolism so it makes it all just incredibly heartbreaking; she had so much hope and love in L'manberg and Will but alas it seems to have wilted away ("I don't believe the pretty little things that you say, I've heard a lot of little pretty things. Don't buy me flowers it pains me to watch pretty little things wilt away, pretty little things wilt away")

3. "A Burning Hill" by Mitski

See I thought of this as Niki song anyways but someone also made this cool animatic that Niki even commented on so check that out if you like! But yeah this is like that sad atmosphere after doomsday I think, like again we've got that incredibly sad loss of hope from such a hope-filled character ("I think I'm finally worn") along with her reminiscences of Wilbur ("For you have a way of promising things") which could honestly sound angry in another context but here just sounds sad. And then of course where would we be without the fire imagery ("I am the fire and I am the forest and I am the witness watching it") relating to both her repeated actual scenes in relation to fire but also her growing inner fire because it's always been there whether it be hopeful bright sparks or an angry forest fire, the more destruction and "fire" she sees around her the more her inner fire grows. Perfect examples of this being the parallels between the burning of the flag and the burning of the L'mantree; both instances of destruction being all around, the first time she watches her pillar of hope go up in flames, the second time she is the fire itself lighting it but both times she wishes Wilbur was there ("I stand in a valley watching it and you are not there at all"). The song also ends off on a bit of a hopeful but also sad note ("And I'll love the littler things, I'll love some littler things") doomsday is over, L'manberg is gone and she has cut off connections to most of her friends, maybe this a a chance to start anew and love some new things but there is still a sense that maybe she should just love some littler things, maybe she hoped to big last time, loved to big last time and that's heartbreaking.

4. "Graceland Too" by Phoebe Bridgers

This was a recommendation from the lovely @/foxesdontscareme and it is a truly beautiful song, and great for a healing arc Niki! Niki gives up on the nuke Tommy plot and takes Techno up on his syndicate offer ("No longer a danger to herself or others, she made up her mind and laced up her shoes") and thus she begins the process of trying to pull herself out of her own downward spiral before it's too late. She changes her secret city once again, replacing the lava and mismatched bricks with quartz walls and gardens and a bakery that she invites her friends to ("Yelled down the hall but nobody answered so she walked outside without an excuse"). She is still lost without L'manberg and it's community ("Doesn't know what she wants or what she's gonna do, a rebel without a clue") but it is now being approached with a more hopeful tone, she doesn't fully know exactly what she's going to do but she's hopeful about it this time. Recently Niki's mental health hasn't been the best but honestly the goal in my mind is that she one day reaches a more peaceful, healthier point and this will all be the perfect vibe ("Said she knows she lived through it to get to this moment") <33 pls

5. "Learning To Hate You As A Self Defense Mechanism" by Flatsound

Ok sadness again. This is the Niki song that cc!Niki herself tied to c!Niki when she found out Wilbur was alive, I also made a post about this one pfft! But this song is exactly what it says it is so in this case an exploration into Niki's unhealthy mechanisms on "coping" with Wilbur's return. After the nuke plot failed Niki realised that none of what she was blaming Tommy for was really his fault; underneath all the projection she was still upset and annoyed at Wilbur. But Niki and Wilbur were best friends, she obviously loved and cared for him and she still does but in an attempt to preserve her new safe space and the distance she has tried to put between herself and L'manberg she tries to remind herself or simply just tell herself that he hurt her and that she must hate him for that ("So I'll hold on to this feeling, I'll hold on to this hate, for as long as I need for it to help me"). Niki tells herself that Wilbur must have never cared about her or anyone, that she must have just been stupid for believing him ("Was it my fault because I easily confused you for someone who would hold my hand") because it's easier to cut yourself off from someone if you believe nothing was really there in the first place, if the diamonds meant nothing and if she lies to herself that he never checked up or visited her in Manberg ("you would leave when I got sick"). However, underneath it all, no matter how much she lies to herself she cares, and she wishes she could see him and talk to him ("You never called me on my birthday, I want to call you on your birthday")

[flowerslightning]

(Part 2) Cloud Strife and his Mental Illness

a.k.a Psychiatric Disorder

| 1. Memory | ⇦ Click if u havent read it yet

2. Hallucinations, Illusions and Delusions

Since these three things relate well with Cloud's troubled memories, I'll be talking about them first before jumping to his Confused Personality

This post will bore u a bit or maybe a lot 😂 it depends. If ure interested with psychiatric stuff, u'll find this enjoyable as much as i do

Disclaimer : I'm 21 and still a tiny meany student. During my intern at Psychiatric Department, I learned and witnessed psychiatric problems from real life patients. And since Cloud (my fav FF character) has psychiatric issues, I'll be sharing some of my knowledge and interpretation of Cloud's character. Im not diagnosing him, rather i'm giving my own opinion about his status

@nibelheiim created a post about dissociation, she explained about hallucination, PTSD and more. Come and check her out! Her words were more direct and easier to understand. She explained about Psychological matter and she's a real psychology student too!

While my explanation will be more focusing on Psychiatric Topic and words used will be more complicated (with grammar errors). My facts will be based on ICD 10 and DSM-IV

A lot of people were confused with these three terms - Hallucination Illusion Delusion - These terms associated with abnormalities of perception. It is important to understand that this abnormality holds two keys; ● 1. Perception is the process of becoming aware of what is presented through the sense organs. ● 2. Imagery is an experience originating within the mind that usually lacks the sense of reality that is part of perception.

Abnormalities of perceptions have 4 theme, but I'll be focusing on two major types that relate with Cloud: (i) Hallucinations ; (ii) Illusions. Some cases, perception can be normal in intensity and quality but has a changed meaning for the person who experiences it - it is called as Delusional Perception. It is not an abnormal of perceptions, rather it is a disorder of a person's thinking.

Try guessing, how many from these terms does Cloud has?

1. Hallucinations

- A perception experienced in the absence of external stimulus to the corresponding sense organ. Eg - patient hears a voice when no one is speaking within a hearing distance or patient sees something approaching him when visually no one is there. There are 2 qualities to determine a hallucination: ●it is experienced as a true perception●it seems to come from outside of the head●

The above gif, where Sephiroth suddenly appear again before Cloud's eyes even able to touch Aerith's shoulder, it illustrate perfectly the 'Visual Hallucination'. No one can see Sephiroth, other than Cloud himself.

Cloud [Remake] kinda had anxiety when he stared at the fire and later he saw Sephiroth surrounded with flames, then poof, that silver guy disappeared along with the images of fire. He said he was hallucinating stuff after the first bombing mission. Idk how Sephiroth could create fake images of fire around him, either Cloud was really hallucinating or it was really Sephiroth that came to see him. But, this is what we call as 'Visual and Auditory Hallucinations'. Cloud SAW Sephiroth and HEARD him talking when no one else did. I can also add in 'Tactile Hallucination' because he probably felt the burning sensation on his skin from the flame around him that caused him to feel hot and sweating, or probably it was his anxiety that caused him sweating upon meeting Sephiroth with the flashback of his burning hometown

Hallucinations can occur in all sensory modalities; visual, olfactory, auditory etc. In the Remake, the Whispers could only be seen by certain people. To those who couldnt see it, they would be puzzled what was happening to u, and would've thought that u were hallucinating something, like in the case of Aerith.

In Cloud's case, perhaps Cloud [In OG] had auditory hallucination due to his severe case of Mako Addiction. But then, that wasnt exactly a hallucination though, cuz the thing he said "'Coming.. They're coming" was actually true. A monster fell from the sky.

Other 'hallucinations' that Cloud had was the images of Sephiroth that appeared in certain headache. Cloud may claimed it was his hallucinations, but i've read it somewhere that says it was really Sephiroth appeared before his eyes. Sephiroth was messing with Cloud's mind, trying to break his mental in order to control him. However, IF IT WASNT SEPHIROTH that came, Cloud's 'hallucination' would be known as a mental disorder that may lead to severe case - eg Schizophrenia.

2. Illusions

An illusion is a misperception of an external stimulus. It often occur in several circumstances: (i)level of sensory stimulation reduced (ii)attention is not focused on the sensory modality (iii)level of consciousness reduced (iv)being in a state of intense emotion- fear.

Does Cloud has it? Urm, maybe? Well, it can be proven when he saw his 'noisy neighbour next door' as Sephiroth. As stated above, illusions occur in 4 conditions, and Cloud was in number (i) and (iv). When Tifa yelled him to stop, Cloud came back to reality and got really confused when the 'Sephiroth' that attacked him was actually a sick guy. We can also add in 'Hallucinations of Deep sensation' in this scenario bcause Cloud experienced the feelings of being pushed down by 'Sephiroth'.

However, we all know that 'Sephiroth' was real at that moment. For Cloud, he thought it was an illusion, but for us the audience, it was a real thing.

If u want a better explanation and example, try watching Joker the movie. The main theme of the movie was 'mental illness'. There are lots of scenes that shows different type of hallucinations, illusions and also personality disorder.

3. Delusions

a.k.a fixed false belief. A belief that is held firmly despite evidence contrary. A delusion is nearly always a false belief but not always so. There are around 11 types of delusions according to the book. Half of it may suggest Shcizophrenia. Schizophrenia is certainly not in Cloud's case. I've studied one by one the type of delusions and none of them match with Cloud FF7.

I will surely give anyone a good punch in the face if they dare to say Cloud suffers from Schizophrenia. I've met with bunch of patients having it, and the way they see this world is totally different from us.

In some other cases, eg a spiritualist convince a person to believe in his spiritualism and he present with contrary evidence to the non-believer. This non-delusional belief is called 'overvalued ideas'

Overvalued ideas is an isolated , preoccupying and strongly held belief that dominates a person's life and may affect his action. One of the easiest example i can come up with; a friend who had skin cancer may be convinced to her roomate that cancer is contagious, and her roomate suspects any abnormal skin conditions she has is an evidence to show she too, may have developed the same cancer, when the truth is, she's just completely fine.

It is very hard to distinguish between a delusion and overvalued ideas.

I had a patient, he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. He looked like an ordinary man, but when he talked, it sounded so unreal. He said he had jumped off from 10th floor several times and didnt get a scratch from it. He believed he wont die bcause he had gained super power. He even convinced me to try his 'so-called-secret technique- on how to survive a jump. By doing that often, I will have a superpower like him - a strong physical body. Up until now, I still dont know if he was being deluded with his thought or he was overvalued his idea, bcause from his psychiatric record, he did try to jump off from the second floor of his apartment's balcony a few times.

So, Im not really sure of myself did Cloud [FF7] really had delusion or not. Well, he believed he made it to SOLDIER bcause he had mako eyes. But was it something we called as delusion or was he just overvaluing his idea? He didnt know the truth and his memory messed up. No one could explain to him why he had Mako eyes, except Prof Hojo and Zack who knew the truth

Besides, after Tifa helped with his memory, Cloud accepted the fact he wasnt in SOLDIER. For patient who deluded with their own thoughts, they hardly could believe what people told him.

However, surely Cloud [in AC] had delusions of guilt and worthlessness due to the fact that he believed he had done something shameful and sinful - the main trigger of this theme was, he got infected with Geostigma while he was searching a cure for Denzel. Cloud got depressed with the loss of Aerith and the memory of Zack death had returned, but I think he was recovering very well in that two years time skip. The moment he got Geostigma, he became deluded he was worthless and his depression kicked in again.

Hallucinations and Illusions are normal to be experienced by healthy people, but it wont be if u encounter too many hallucinations & illusions in 2 weeks time. Believe it or not, a lot of people around us are actually mentally ill bcause some of them may have excessive certain delusions, such as delusions of jealousy, grandiose delusions, nihilistic, paranoid etc. Although 'it is consider as normal' in a few circumstance, a few cases need to refer to psychologist and in severer cases, must refer to psychiatrist. If u follow Dr Phil's show, u'll see a bunch of patients have different kind of crazy delusions.

Overall from my statement above, I would conclude that since Sephiroth always appear before Cloud's eyes, this resulting Cloud to think he has both Hallucination and Illusion, when in fact, he's just a normal guy with amnesia and personality confusion. Cloud doesnt have Delusion like how many fans said, neither he has an overvalued idea, even with the evidence of Mako eyes supporting his reasoning + he's a great fighter. I will have to say that perhaps it is his brain defence mechanism that tricks his mind to believe he is a Soldier.

If only Sephiroth stop disturbing Cloud's life, it will be a lot faster to fix Cloud. Tifa alone will be the main strength to get Cloud back to normal. Ah, but this is the beauty of the game. Life wont be exciting without the presence of a beautiful villain and a love triangle (Tifa-Cloud-Sephiroth). Lol Technically I see them trying to fight for Cloud's mental health. Tifa wants to help Cloud with his mental status while Sephiroth is trying to destroy it. Lolololol

My crack theory : Sephiroth says he's going to take Cloud's most precious thing, and he ends up choosing to kill Aerith, but ofc there's another reason why Aerith got killed. But if Sephiroth kills Tifa first, I think he can take over Cloud's mind faster, because then, no one will be holding Cloud back. Honestly no one can ever will, not even Aerith. So does that mean Sephiroth doesnt know about Cloud's deepest secret or is Cloud just good at hiding his weakness?

I WILL UPDATE THE NEXT POST LATER because I've reached tumblr limit images agaiiin. The next part will be focusing about his personality - Personality Disorder

If there is any part that I've mistaken, pls correct me. I'm sorry for my english. English is not my native language, so there are plenty of grammar errors.

[fluffyblaire]

*comes stumbling into room, leaning one arm against the wall* B-Blaire, I'm so sorry, I think I'm gonna- *word vomits rainbow colored self-indulgence all over your carpet* I've just been vibing to this mental animation, its back and forth switching of Keigo/Tenko's past, with all sorts of imagery, then there's this small burning flame with tendrils of darkness hanging back, about to consume it when Hawks rushes out desperately.

(+) Practically falling to his knees to grasp and close his hands around the flame, protecting it. Just as that happens his wings erupt into a sudden blue blaze, and you can see the wounds he got from this arc start to appear. And Shigaraki melts into your vision from the shadows, a hand placed on Hawks' head ready to decay him, some of Keigo's tears fall into the flames as he slowly opens his palms, just a tiny bit and sudden bright lights stream quickly from it that chases away the darkness.

(+) As the flames grow higher. Before anyone starts judging me because 'why would Hawks cry, isn't he a monster?' Okay look, it's the manifestation of his feelings okay. *points at 246* and everything he's done. Blame the song lyrics too. "Your hands, protect the flames. From the wild winds around you." *points at Prohero arc* to me, those flames are 'heroism' it represents the future, the next generation. All Might did stuff for them, Endeavor is trying, Hawks too! He has!

(+) Keigo wanted to be a shining light, he can't be, but he can let others be. He lifts people up. He helped Endeavor and Tokoyami fly. (And if you wanna think about it that way, him killing Twice led to Dabi trying to jump off a balcony and test out his own flying skills.) ;-; part of me pictures Keigo whispering to the fire, trying to keep it burning and not go out and his expression kills me. Hori pls, can I request him getting a moment like All Might did at Kamino?

(+) Takami 'I don't care for teaching the next generation' Keigo doing his best to protect what heroism used to be about, because the true nature of it lives in these kids. Going @the villains, no matter what kind of fear they try to spread or snuff out heroes, the flame of heroism will never die out as long as there as kids like them, like Tokoyami who never give up chasing, striving with full determination. They'll never give up on keeping the fire burning.

C-Can I call you Poet Nonnie? This was beautiful 🥺 and don’t worry about the carpet its all good asjdflsjdk You had a whole-ass vision, and you described it so well! And oh boy, your little analysis of Hawks 💛

In this house, we do not tolerate the “Hawks is a monster” narrative 😤 A man who ‘doesn’t care for teaching the next generation’ because if he does his job right, the next generation should be able to take it easy ain’t a monster. A man who carries himself like a cocky bastard but always lifts others up over himself when it matters ain’t a monster. 

“And if you wanna think about it that way, him killing Twice led to Dabi trying to jump off a balcony and test out his own flying skills.” I SPAT OUT MY DRINK NONNIE AJSKD I never thought about that before but you’re not wrong ahaha~

I too wish Hawks can get a scene as powerful as the All Might at Kamino scene (we gotta manage our expectations tho, our birdie is still a tertiary character T_T) because he definitely has the character depth and development potential for it. Maybe not protecting a fire since that imagery is already associated with All Might and OFA, but something else that suits him more, like maybe shielding an apparition of his child self who represents the true spirit of heroism. There are lots of ways Hawks’ character can develop (it’s what makes him so captivating!!!), and the thought of him going from someone who was dead set on doing everything himself and ushering in a world where heroism isn’t needed to someone who is going to protect the flame of the kids who have the spirit to become the hero his younger self wanted to be makes my little heart soar. That would be a full circle thing, and I LOVE IT. 

Hawks has always shined brightest when he supported others instead of rushing out to do everything on his own and going too far where it’s so lonely out there by himself. Let him watch the kids he has so much respect for grow up and do what he couldn’t do 🥺

[janiedean]

do you think sansan will become canon in the end? there were metas that say this pairing would be abusive to sansa and that the hound doesn't fit sansa's brave-gentle-strong ideal... and I wanted to ask if you think it's true and sansa is traumatized and doesn't actually like him? idk i just need to feel that it's not that horrible to ship them

I could say a lot of horrible mean things on the subject of *abusive to sansa meta* which 90% of the time includes *everyone* sansa interacts with but the person The Author Of That Meta Ships Sansa With, but I’ll shut up and instead attempt a reasonable and nice answer. insofar as I can.

spoilers: I shipped sansa and sandor since they interacted the first time. I don’t think anything bad about this ship whatsoever. all the contrary. feel free to read on knowing that everyone.

canon chances: I think in the show it’s not really an option (because the show fucked them up in S2 and they don’t have the basis that they have in the books) unless they somehow do a 180° turn in S8, but as far as the show goes I have a feeling sansa/tyrion has more chances. book-wise though I think it has plenty of chances to become canon and actually it’s the most likely imvho. then it depends on HOW and what do you consider canon (if she never marries and he’s her sworn shield how do we take it to say one?), but I think it has very high chances and if people say otherwise, too bad.

‘abusive to sansa’: lol. sandor is about the one person she’s not related to along with tyrion who is not abusive to her throughout her stay in king’s landing. period.

specifically: joffrey is abusive as shit to her. cersei is abusive as shit to her. TYWIN is to both her and tyrion because he forces that marriage on both of them and let’s not kid ourselves about how it’s abusive to the both of them given that tywin’s abused tyrion since the moment he was born, and tywin barely even interacts with her. the tyrells are emotionally manipulative and YES also partially abusive to her because they basically use her as a pawn and try to butter her up and make her think she can trust them until they think they can marry her to willas and use her to get winterfell, and then the moment she’s married off to tyrion they drop her like a boiling hot potato and frame her for joffrey’s murder. littlefinger is abusive as fuck to her because he’s forcing her to be someone she’s not, he’s trying to get her to be complicit in murdering robert, he’s also using her as a pawn and he’s fucking kissed her. a lot of people are abusive to sansa stark and not all of them have done that by being physically violent. 

now, sandor is not a gentleman nor anything of the kind, but sandor is also a highly traumatized and damaged guy who’s completely out of fucks, who has been physically and mentally scarred and betrayed by his close family and whose dreams have all been shattered including any notion of knighthood being a decent thing, who has ptsd in spades and who has absolutely zero conception of how you relate to other human beings also because he’s been dehumanized since we don’t know how fucking long - THE HOUND guys, THE HOUND - and certainly didn’t get schooled in manners, and he’s also an alcoholic and he reacts to about anything with violence because he doesn’t know any better, but guess what, he never hurt sansa the way joffrey or cersei did (physically I mean), he always tried to look out for her best as he knew (he told her from the beginning that the court was shit), he had her back always even if he wasn’t gentle or gallant about it, he confided in her about how he got his scars (fuck the show for giving that scene to littlefinger blergh), he saved her from that mob and most of all she was the only person who ever showed him a shred of kindness, how the heck is that **abusive**? he’s rash, he’s horribly mannered and he’s violent, but if you look at the blackwater scene and don’t see that it’s sandor at its lowest trying to get his song from her because he thinks there’s no other way he can have it and then when she gives it to him and touches his face he actually cries because he went at her violently and she reacted with kindness? like she basically went and fucked up his entire worldview by touching his damned face and at the same time she was entirely aware that he was looking out for her the whole time best as he knew how. that’s two fucked up people being fucked up together but getting somehow better, not an abusive relationship.

on top of that, what did sandor want to do with arya when he found her? bring her to robb and ransom her, figuring that robb would appreciate it, and same with brynden later before they learned that riverrun was under siege. why the fuck would he even trust robb to do it? ah, wait, hasn’t sansa most probably spent a lot of time talking about how nice her brother was (before her father died anyway) and hasn’t she given him some hope that some people might be actually decent? like, come the fuck on, this guy never had **abusive** behaviors towards anyone. violent? totally. but look at the damned context. saying that he’s abusive to sansa is ridiculous. also, what is he doing right now? calming his spirits in the quiet isle, where people go to… heal. technically.

also, what does sansa herself pray for? actually, what does sansa herself think of sandor?

He is no true knight, but he saved me all the same. Save him if you can, and gentle the rage inside him.

I wish the Hound were here. The night of the battle, Sandor Clegane had come to her chambers to take her from the city, but Sansa had refused. Sometimes she lay awake at night, wondering if she’d been wise. She had his stained white cloak hidden in a cedar chest beneath her summer silks. She could not say why she’d kept it. The Hound had turned craven, she heard it said; at the height of the battle, he got so drunk the Imp had to take his men. But Sansa understood. She knew the secret of his burned face. It was only the fire he feared. That night, the wildfire had set the river itself ablaze, and filled the very air with green flame. Even in the castle, Sansa had been afraid. Outside… she could scarcely imagine it.

As the boy’s lips touched her own she found herself thinking of another kiss. She could still remember how it felt, when his cruel mouth pressed down on her own. He had come to Sansa in the darkness as green fire filled the sky. He took a song and a kiss, and left me nothing but a bloody cloak.

now, this is a selection, but: SANSA HERSELF RECOGNIZES THAT THERE’S GOOD IN HIM and she’s praying for the mother to gentle his soul and help him and SAVE HIM, while she thinks he’s no true knight (more on that later);

SANSA HERSELF, since sandor told her why he has a burned face, does not think him craven for having run and since she’s an empathetic and nice person she recognizes why he’d do it (more than 99% of westeros would) and KEPT HIS BLOODY DAMNED WHITE CLOAK, which is absolutely not marriage imagery isn’t it, because you don’t marry changing cloaks in westeros, that’s absolutely not a thing that happens /sarcasm, she thinks that *she* was afraid and recognizes *he* might have been too;

SANSA ACTUALLY THINKS HE KISSED HER when he did not. I repeat: sansa has convinced herself that sandor kissed her because (most likely) to her it’s a lot better an option to think sandor took her famed and precious romantic first kiss rather than have it forced upon her by some random kid or someone else (*cough* littlefinger *cough*) - kissing sandor is a thing sansa thinks she’s done to protect herself in her unreliable-narrative-ness and like, sandor’s cruel mouth never was anywhere near her own but she thinks that anyway. and since sansa (now we’re getting to it) is nor an idiot nor someone who’s unaware of others but she’s also a very traumatized person who’s been abused to hell and back by about most people she’s ran into since ned died, she obviously is using defense mechanisms here. she’s a romantic. she probably fantasized a lot about her first kiss. and now that she’s had to give it to someone she didn’t choose and who actually imposed it on her (littlefinger, who’s also a creep who’s superimposing catelyn on her DIFFERENTLY FROM SANDOR who never did such a thing), what is she thinking? that no, sandor took it. are we fucking serious? I don’t daydream or make up that I kissed someone who I wouldn’t have wanted to kiss in the first place, or better, I don’t fantasize about someone kissing me if I don’t want that someone kissing me in the first place. people trying to spin the unkiss as some proof that she’s been brainwashed or abused (lol) aren’t getting that instead the unkiss is what she came up to reject the harsh reality of her first kiss not belonging to her brave, gentle and strong knight. that’s not what you do with someone who abused you. she doesn’t think about joffrey kissing her, she doesn’t think about tyrion kissing her, she thinks about kissing sandor. or better, sandor kissing her. like. it’s text. it’s canon. deal with it. 

that means that sansa herself has seen the good in him and knows that he has the potential to be a good person and that she likes what she sees. abusive relationship. yeah, my ass.

of course sansa is traumatized. but from the fact that she’s traumatized and from the fact that sandor is her defense mechanism - or part of it - you can deduce that the source of her issues is not sandor clegane and actually sandor clegane is one of the reasons she keeps herself grounded and deals with what happened to her. 

‘sandor is not the brave gentle and strong ideal’: good lord now we are at my favorite part of this ridiculous nonsense, which is: that people seem to have decided that sansa’s storyline has to be taken LITERALLY. when it’s OBVIOUSLY all a metaphor.

like, nvm that this ship is beauty and the beast played straight up (jb is deconstructed, sansan is really not), and grrm likes his b&b parallels, but the point is: when the series starts sansa is eleven and as all of us at eleven she’s somewhat shallow and judges people on appearance, which is… NORMAL, at her age, if you’re that kind of teenager. sansa wants a brave, gentle and strong knight and she thinks that person is joffrey. JOFFREY. and then she thinks it’s LORAS. loras is not into women and can’t give a fuck about her either way and joffrey is the reason her father dies. like, the entire point of sansa’s storyline is that she has to learn to look beyond appearance and to see that true beauty is not only exterior or in the manners. which also ties with the fact that even if she hates being married to tyrion then she thinks that he always was kind to her because as bad as it was she could see that he was a better person than they had given him credit for, and that’s why she sees that sandor, who doesn’t *look* like that, is actually a truer knight than anyone else, because *he* was the one who didn’t backstab her and who always looked out for her as best as he could. like, obviously he doesn’t LOOK like that ideal. if sansa marries someone who LOOKS brave, gentle and strong and whatever ie idk *jaime* /sorry I hate that crackship/ she goes nowhere because her entire storyline is about seeing beyond beauty/shallowness.

also I find it ridiculous that people expect the brave and gentle knight to actually look young, beautiful and gentle and whatever, because…. SPOILERS, the only *young, brave, true, gentle and strong* knight in the entire series who holds up to that regard and who carries out that ideal without stain is named, NEWSFLASH, BRIENNE OF TARTH. not sandor clegane, not jaime lannister, not jon snow, not willas tyrell, not anyone else. if you want sansa to go with the *literal* embodiment of all those things then your pick is named brienne, and brienne is…. ugly. like, ugly. and neither she nor sansa are into women anyway, so that point is moot, but most likely brienne is going to end up sworn to sansa at some point, so sansa *will* get at least a brave and gentle knight to watch her back in that sense. except it won’t be her damned love interest, because brienne’s there to be someone else’s love interest and viceversa.

what sansa’s love interest should be, according to the narrative, is someone who’s proved themselves to her to be what she needs and to care for her for who she was and not for what her surname meant and in this equation looks shouldn’t matter because if sansa has learned something is that LOOKS DON’T MATCH THE INSIDE, NECESSARILY. and sandor fits that scheme perfectly, especially if his stay with the elder brother calms him the shit down, he’s quit drinking and he’s straightened his shit out. obviously no one thinks they should have boned when they both were in KL because it wasn’t healthy at that point even if for the both of them knowing the other was a good thing and it made them better because it opened sansa’s eyes and it showed sandor that not everyone was automatically horrible. so lol, sandor is exactly as brave and strong and gentle as she needs him to be and the narrative doesn’t require for sansa’s love interest to be that *literally*.

also, I’m really fucking done with this idea that’s been around for a while that sansa has somehow turned into show sansa and her reactions to sandor are the ones she had in the show towards fucking ramsay, and with the fact that sansa has to be tough or that she has to react to everything with violence when what characterizes her in the book is that she’s highly empathetic and she reacts to violence with kindness and sees the good in everyone and *she stayed kind* regardless of all the shit and abuse that got thrown at her. sansa saw the good in sandor while she was being abused by other people and he helped her out and she knows that (and he helped her out as an abuse victim himself who’s been fucked up to hell and back, used and thrown away by the exact same system which is fucking her up so like hands off sandor thanks he’s an abuse victim too and if he reacted to it by turning to alcohol he’s not a less valid one), she’s not blind nor stupid nor she doesn’t know who exactly abused her (I mean, with LF she’s superimposing sandor on him to protect herself so subconsciously she knows that indeed) and assuming that she’s traumatized and hates him *and then she fantasizes about kissing him* and thinks about him with only good words is a) insulting to sansa herself as a character, b) purposefully wanting to misunderstand the text. as far as I’m concerned anyway. you can not ship it, but framing it as an abusive relationship or as her being *too traumatized to realize she hates him* is out of this world. especially when in canon there’s more than enough hints to interpret it as romantic or as potentially romantic. (again: the damned unkiss. seriously.)

eventually, it’s framed as a b&b where both of them are highly damaged people who help each other become better, and saying it’s abusive is basically wanting to prop up your ship - like, say that you don’t like it and it’s not your thing and be done at that, don’t make it pass as *abusive* when asoiaf is full of textbook abusive relationships (romantic and not) and sansa is in at least two of them if you just count the romantic ones and more if you also count emotional not romantic stuff. sansa and sandor has nothing to do with sansa/lf or sansa/joffrey, just to mention the two romantic ones/the ones where kissing was involved, it’s not even barely on the same planet let alone the same galaxy tbh and while it certainly has *problematic* elements and it’s not a wholesome fluffy thing where there’s no element that would make modern sensibilities raise eyebrows (but then again guys the most wholesome relationship in these series made of people who have actually kissed and boned in canon is *sam/gilly* and she…. was raped by her father and had his son, no one in these books has a fluffy uncomplicated pure TM relationship without having come from a horrible background), it’s not abusive and sure as hell sansa stark doesn’t hate sandor clegane. or well, she hates him so much she’s turned him into her coping method. let me tell you, if I hate someone, I don’t turn them into my coping method - that’s completely preposterous. and it has romantic undertones voluntarily. people need to deal with it.

as for your last question: it’s not horrible to ship sandor and sansa but it’s not horrible to ship anything as long as you don’t go around to other people being an arse and you know what you’re doing. I’ve shipped sansan from the very beginning - it was my first asoiaf ship actually - and I’m entirely aware that it wouldn’t have been healthy when it started and that in real life a guy who asks a song from a woman putting a knife to her throat isn’t healthy and that he’s a person with ISSUES and that those two having gotten together in KL would have been highly problematic af, I still ship it and see it as an endgame because when they meet again they’ll be older and less damaged and they’ll be able to pick up on the good that was in their relationship, but like even if they had before as long as I knew that irl that stuff doesn’t fly and that a twelve-year old and a twenty-six year old in OUR world wouldn’t fly, it’s all fiction and I’m not horrible for being into it, same as no one is inherently horrible for being into idk theon and ramsay or jaime and cersei or sansa and lf or whatever other badwrong thing they’re into. there’s nothing inherently wrong in being into problematic ships.

but in this case saying that it’s wrong to be into sansan because of the above is ridiculous because those things are not existing in canon nor in text and turning it around saying it’s ABUSIVE and that she hates him is just intellectual dishonesty. /two cents

[aion-rsa]

The Scariest Star Trek Episodes

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Looking for some space-based thrills and chills to enjoy this Halloween? Have no fear – or have a lot of fear, actually – Star Trek has you covered! We’ve listed 28 of the scariest episodes from across the franchise in order of just how much they freaked us out, so whether your preference is for deep space exploration, war-torn space stations, or the far reaches of the known universe, there’s something here for you.

This list excludes all of the feature films, which tend to be scarier on the whole as they’re aiming to make an impact on a cinema audience (Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan and Star Trek: First Contact have some especially terrifying sequences). It also excludes The Animated Series and Lower Decks. The Animated Series is seriously under-rated, but it’s bright, colourful style and slightly lighter tone don’t really bring the scares. Lower Decks features lots of blood, guts, gore, zombies and a giant spider to rival Shelob – and that’s just in the first episode! – but it’s basically satire, so none of it really comes across as scary.

This list is also firmly focused on spooky Halloween chills. There are many, many episodes of Star Trek from across the franchise that deal with torture or moral murkiness. We’re not looking for episodes that will make you question whether it’s possible to be a good person in a harsh universe, but for classic horror movie scares – creepy set-ups, scary scenarios, and spooky chills.

28. The Original Series: season 2, episode 7 ‘Catspaw’

This episode isn’t really all that different from the many The Original Series episodes where some implausibly powerful alien being plays dangerous games with the crew that include a hefty dose of fantasy, but the Halloween-style setting gives it a spooky vibe. Captain Kirk tries to use his sexual allure to solve the problem, of course, and completely disrupts an alien relationship through sheer force of his masculinity. But all is well in the end, though the scene where the villain uses sympathetic magic to over-heat the Enterprise as she dangles a model of it over a candle flame is pretty freaky.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Cheesy Halloween set-ups.

27. Voyager: season 5, episode 18 ‘Course Oblivion’

The idea that you might not be who you think you are has a clear existential horror to it, and this isn’t the only episode on this list based on that concept. It’s really more sad than scary as the truth of the situation is discovered about halfway through, and once the entire crew realise they’re not human after all, but recent copies of the original Voyager crew, they’re too concerned with the fact that they’re dying in vast numbers to dwell much on the personal horror of their position. Even knowing they aren’t the original crew, watching these beloved characters die one by one is gut-wrenching, and the final moments are truly the stuff of nightmares – they’re so close to help, but just can’t cry out…

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Disintegration, ship-wide destruction.

26. Enterprise: season 2, episode 4 ‘Dead Stop’

Creepiness doesn’t have to come from old houses, dark streets, and rooms full of shadows. It can also come from bright, white light and empty spaces. Threats don’t have to be immediately obvious – they can come cloaked in what looks like kindness and generosity. With creepy direction from Voyager’s Roxann Dawson, who also voices the mysterious computer, and the always unnerving theme of a computer killing organic lifeforms, this creates an unsettling vibe without the schlocky Halloween staples. Throw in a classic fake order from a convincing-sounding voice, the apparent death of a regular character (not an uncommon occurrence on Star Trek, it has to be said), and Archer’s desperate plea, familiar to all of us who’ve ever called a helpline, of “I need to talk to a person!”, and you’ve got a pleasantly unsettling hour of television.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Automated telephone helplines.

25. Deep Space Nine: season 2, episode 14 ‘Whispers’

This isn’t the only episode on this list about the horror of discovering you aren’t who you thought you were, or about a family member who isn’t their usual self. But it does offer a different, and equally disturbing, take on the idea. For most of this episode, we follow Chief O’Brien as he returns to Deep Space Nine, only to find the behaviour of everyone around him is just a little… off. The ending is tragically moving, but the bulk of the episode is increasingly disconcerting, with O’Brien unable to trust anyone or to work out what could possibly have happened while he was away. It plays into fears deeper than the fear of things that go bump in the night – the fear that your friends and family might drift away from you, or turn on you, or pull apart from you. And that’s one of the scariest things of all.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Being abandoned, your boss and colleagues turning on you.

24. Voyager: season 6, episode 25 ‘The Haunting Of Deck Twelve’

Voyager’s Borg children get a campfire story from Neelix addressing the apparently ‘haunted’ Deck 12. It’s a space alien, of course, but it has its moments providing some good scares and another opportunity for the Voyager crew to nearly abandon ship (something they make more of a habit of than they should considering they’re lost in the Delta Quadrant). The campfire ghost story set-up adds a nice sense of Halloween fun to the tale, there’s some nice character work (Neelix’s frequent fear of darkness and nothingness comes up, and his love/hate relationship with Tuvok) and there are some scary moments – after all, how do you outrun a gas cloud?

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Gas, nebulas.

23. The Next Generation: season 7, episode 19 ‘Genesis’

This one is too terrible an episode to get any higher on the list – we really can’t recommend it as an actually good episode of Star Trek. But it’s here because you can’t deny that as the Enterprise crew slowly de-evolve and regress to earlier phases of evolution from their respective species, the effects are genuinely unnerving, as well as occasionally laughable. Voyager’s ‘Threshold’ (frequently referred to as the worst episode of Star Trek of all time) similarly includes some effective body horror before it descends into ludicrousness and people start turning into lizards and abandoning their lizard babies, but is too silly to include – this one, however, hangs on just long enough to produce some real scares. It helps that the crew are de-evolving, rather than evolving into an apparently higher form.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Spiders, lizards, lemurs, and terrifying human-animal hybrids.

22. The Next Generation: season 4, episode 17 ‘Night Terrors’

One of several ‘waking nightmare’ episodes, this one is let down a bit by the somewhat unconvincing scenes of Troi flying through a weird green skyscape, but there are plenty of properly creepy moments to enjoy. Dr Crusher’s hallucination of a roomful of corpses sitting up is a standout, but Picard thinking the turbolift is shrinking in on him is alarming too, and the scraps of audio revealing what happened to the late crew of the USS Brattain, who murdered each other in the grip of paranoid hallucinations, are chilling. The science behind the idea, that we need REM sleep to be able to function, is solid, which makes the whole thing even more frightening.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Corpses, insomnia.

21. Voyager: season 2, episode 8 ‘Persistence of Vision’

Over the course of seven years, Voyager did so many episodes in which almost the whole crew were knocked out, suffered from hallucinations, put to sleep in a collective dream or otherwise mentally trapped by aliens, that they made a reference to it in season seven’s ‘Shattered’. This one is a good choice for Halloween, though, thanks to some nicely spooky imagery. It featured Janeway’s Victorian Gothic holo-novel and so her hallucinations include a ghostly little girl in Victorian clothes having a tantrum about cucumber sandwiches, which is particularly unsettling. It also features an unusually ‘evil’ and mysterious villain who has no motive other than being a nasty character and vanishes into thin air, and allows Kes to really shine at the climax, showing off her own considerable powers.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Creepy children, massive boils leaking pus.

20. The Next Generation: season 1, episode 25 ‘Conspiracy’

This episode is remembered for one thing and one thing only – the exploding head. And the alien chest-burster incident that comes right after it. Although the ending seems to hint at a wider threat, it was never officially followed up on within the series, possibly partly because this episode was so much gorier than anything seen on Star Trek up to that date. It also experienced some mutations of its own in development. What was originally intended to be a conspiracy within Starfleet was nixed by then-still-alive Gene Roddenberry as not conforming to his utopian vision. Perhaps this is why, to make up for the less psychologically disturbing conspiracy-by-alien-outsider, the production team went all out on the gore at the episode’s climax. It’s certainly memorable!

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Gore, alien chest-bursters.

19. Voyager: season 3, episode 18 ‘Darkling’

Robert Picardo hams it up gloriously in this homage to Jekyll and Hyde. The idea behind the episode, that when the Doctor patches the personalities of famous people into his program he gets their dark sides as well as their good qualities, is a neat concept and an interesting thought. The actual way these dark sides manifest is a bit bland, being focused mostly on general evil gurning and an obsession with Kes that twists the Doctor’s own genuine feelings for her into something more sinister. There was more subtlety to William Shatner’s Evil Kirk in ‘The Enemy Within’. But it does the job of providing some chilling moments, especially when B’Elanna finds herself at the mercy of the Evil Doctor.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Doctors, creepy stalkers.

18. Discovery: season 1, episode 3 ‘Context Is For Kings’

This is only the third episode of Discovery, and the first to be set on the titular ship, so it’s our introduction to much of the crew and to the series in general. At this early point, it looked like Discovery was heading in a very dark and horror-tinged direction indeed. With Gabriel Lorca as Captain, Burnham still a prisoner, and Stamets at his frostiest, the series already promised to be ‘darker’ – and then we find out the grisly fate of Discovery’s sister ship’s crew, turned inside out, their bodies twisted and mangled. The rest of the series so far has gone to plenty of morally and emotionally dark places, but for sheer scares and perhaps a little queasiness, this is the one to watch.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Gore, morally dubious Starfleet captains

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17. The Original Series: season 1, episode 1 ‘The Man Trap’

Star Trek starts as it means to go on – the very first episode to air is one of the creepy ones (and the earlier pilots are both pretty unsettling as well). The main reason it’s remembered as a scary one is the great creature design on the Monster of the Week, the Salt Vampire. The combination of gaping, toothy mouth, drooping eyes and Yeti-like body is impressively inventive. But there’s an emotional core to this episode as well, as Dr McCoy’s ex turns out to have been killed by the creature long ago. Her husband’s willing acceptance of the creature that killed her as a replacement is probably the creepiest thing of all.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Shapeshifters, the Yeti.

16. The Next Generation: season 7, episode 6 ‘Phantasms’

Another nightmare episode, but it’s not originality we’re giving points for here. The plot of this episode is fairly basic and the key concept of seeing nightmares is one we can see plenty of elsewhere – it’s not even the only ‘nightmare episode’ from The Next Generation. But the reason both appear on this list is because, while the concept may not be stunningly original, and the episodes may even be rather cheesy, the bizarre images we see in them are genuinely unnerving. The Troi-cake may be often mocked, but it really is a freaky image, iffy visual effects notwithstanding. Add to that Dr Crusher drinking from Riker’s head and a phone inside Data’s body, and you have a good set of weird images to freak yourself out with this Halloween.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Being eaten, being drunk from.

15. Enterprise: season 3, episode 16 ‘Doctor’s Orders’

One of two episodes on this list directed by Voyager’s Roxann Dawson, who clearly has a good eye for a creepy set-up. The plot has something of a connection to Voyager as well, as it’s essentially a re-tread of the Voyager episode ‘One’; most of the crew are put to sleep for medical protection while one or two, immune, crew-members are left to roam the ship alone. The earlier episode featured a longer period of isolation and a more vulnerable crew-member (former Borg Seven of Nine, who had a terror of being alone), but this one just edged it onto the list thanks to a few details. It has some welcome comedy beats breaking up the repetitive nature of isolation (Phlox wandering around naked is a nice touch) and Phlox consciously refers to the situation as a ‘haunted house’ for a reason, as it deliberately draws on classic tropes like rattling chains, dark shadows, and strange noises. Also this one includes a cute dog. A spooky story can always be enhanced by throwing in a cute dog.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Haunted houses (or spaceships), giant insects.

14. Deep Space Nine: season 3, episode 26 ‘The Adversary’

This was the third season finale, and it opens with Sisko recording “my final Commander’s log” – that’s because he’s been promoted to Captain, but it creates a sense of finality, of the closing of a door, from the start. It makes the subsequent paranoia-inducing hunt for an enemy who could be disguised as any member of the crew – a Changeling – even more tense. Odo says no Changeling would ever harm another, so you know what’s going to happen by the end of the episode, but it’s well made; claustrophobic, with echoes of The Thing and body snatcher themes (without the actual snatching). No one knows who to trust and everyone is getting trigger-happy – foreshadowing the increasing violence that would become a feature of the series as it moved towards a war storyline in the future. And Sisko has barely been Captain five minutes when he gets to play with the auto-destruct, as all Starfleet Captains love to do every now and again.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Sleeper agents, clones.

13. Deep Space Nine: season 5, episode 5 ‘The Assignment’

A lot of the episodes on this list take a classic horror fantasy trope and give it a science-fiction mask – ghosts that are gaseous aliens, witches that are telepathically powerful aliens, vampires that are after salt rather than blood. This one is a science-fiction take on demon possession, as poor Chief O’Brien is told that his wife has been taken over by a malevolent entity, but he can’t tell anyone else without risking her life and his daughter’s. Key to the whole thing is a great performance from Rosalind Chao, whose manner and bearing through the whole thing is definitely that of a new character who is not Keiko.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Demon possession.

12. Enterprise: season 2, episode 10 ‘Vanishing Point’

There are a number of Star Trek episodes where various crew-members think they’re dead and wandering the ship’s passageways as a ghost (and one slightly odd episode of Voyager, ‘Cathexis’, where Chakotay literally does so). Most focus on the impact of the apparent loss on the other crew, contemplations of the afterlife, and so on. In this episode, though, Hoshi first experiences unsettling body horror as birthmarks move and her translation skills fade, then seems to be becoming a ghost slowly, unable to touch things properly and even starting to vanish entirely. It’s far more spooky and freaky than the usual ‘out of phase’ storyline. And here’s an extra dose of horror – all this seemed to happen to Hoshi during the 8.3 seconds she was in the transporter buffer. So what exactly did Scotty go through when he ended up stuck in there for 80 years in The Next Generation’s ‘Relics’?!

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Turning invisible, matter transporters.

11. The Original Series: season 3, episode 4 ‘And The Children Shall Lead’

Before we get to the opening credits of this episode, we’ve already seen a group of children dance around happily singing a strange version of ‘Ring a Ring a Roses’ at the site of a mass adult suicide. Do you need to know more than that?! Later on, they all move round in a circle chanting a call to a ‘friendly angel’ which produces a green, translucent being wanting universal control (as usual) and they set about driving the crew of the Enterprise mad using bizarre hallucinations including premature ageing, planets that aren’t there, and so on. I mean, if that summary doesn’t creep you out, you’re either a sadistic small child or a power-mad translucent green alien yourself. As a bonus, it has a genuinely affecting ending, too, as the full horror of what happened to their parents hits the children.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Creepy children, children in general.

10. Voyager: season 3, episode 15 ‘Coda’

This episode is another “I’m dead!” fakeout, in which a crew-member – in this case Captain Janeway – appears to have died and seems to be watching their friends mourn them as a ghost. This one has a couple of twists though. There’s a time loop element with Janeway experiencing repeated deaths of different kinds in different loops. And then, just to really freak us out, a sinister alien tries to convince Janeway to follow him to the afterlife, even implying that he is waiting at the point of death for her, and everyone else, whenever and wherever she eventually dies. It seems far more likely he’s just a creepy Delta Quadrant alien trying to harvest something, somehow (a soul eater? does he eat life force?) but it’s still a deeply disturbing concept.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Death and dying.

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9. The Next Generation: season 3, episode 26 ‘The Best Of Both Worlds, Pt 1’

The Borg were first introduced in the episode ‘Q Who’, and they were fairly terrifying then. Their total lack of interest in anything they don’t perceive to be a threat ironically makes them so much more frightening than they would be if they attacked others on sight, while their cybernetic implants and collective consciousness give them a ghoulish creepiness. But however terrifying they seemed at first, they became so much scarier again when their main method of conquering was introduced – assimilation. Even in this episode, there’s not a whisper of it for most of the story – until the captured Captain Picard turns to face Beverley (and the camera) to reveal a face full of Borg technology. “He is a Borg!” as Worf exclaims. On first viewing, with no idea it was coming, it was a serious shock, and seriously scary.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Cyborgs, Oxo cubes.

8. Deep Space Nine: season 4, episode 24 ‘The Quickening’

We had to include this one, in which Dr Bashir desperately tries to help people suffering from ‘the Blight’, a fatal illness caused by a biological weapon long before the story starts. It’s not an infectious disease, but it is passed from mother to child through the generations, and society has completely reformed around it, developing a system of ritualised euthanasia as the only method they have for dealing with it. I trust there’s no need to spell out exactly what is so scary about this scenario. It’s also extremely depressing. There’s some hope at the end, for Ekoria’s baby at least, but it’s small comfort after the harrowing grimness of the rest of the episode. To be honest, we’re not sure we’d entirely recommend watching this episode right now, unless you’re in the mood for some serious wallowing. But it is definitely scary. Very, very scary.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Biological weapons, plagues.

7. Enterprise: season 3, episode 5 ‘Impulse’

Often, the scariest or most impactful episodes have the shortest cold opens. This Enterprise episode drops us straight into the action with a screaming T’Pol brought into sickbay, clearly out of control – and cut to credits. Now that is the way to unsettle an audience from the start! Jolene Blalock puts in a great, unhinged performance and the shaky camerawork all adds to the feeling of horror, so by the time we flash back one day to find out what’s happened, we’re prepped for horror. The rest of the episode plays out in classic space horror movie style, all darkness and noises and flashing lights, everyone running around looking filthy and sweaty being chased by Vulcan zombies while poor T’Pol descends further and further into madness. A 45-minute mini horror movie.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Your own strong emotions, zombies.

6. Deep Space Nine: season 5, episode 24 ‘Empok Nor’

This one is another horror movie in miniature. You know things are going to go seriously wrong when a handful of regular characters go on a mission with a collection of character who, if they were in The Original Series, would probably be wearing red shirts. This episode, in which our heroes go scavenging on Deep Space Nine’s abandoned sister station and discover some unhinged Cardassians, has got dark corridors, a diminishing cast, a regular character under the influence of psychotropic drugs becoming dangerous, and the odd jump scare. It gives Andrew Robinson as Garek an always welcome chance to play the more sinister side of the character, and keeps the tension running high throughout.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Dark corridors, slasher movies.

5. The Original Series: season 2, episode 14: ‘Wolf in the Fold’

A number of original series episodes are scary in the wrong way, for the wrong reasons. Despite Star Trek’s overt efforts to combat sexism in its own way, it was still a deeply sexist show made in a sexist time, and could be outright misogynistic on occasion (the very last episode, ‘Turnabout Intruder’, is probably the worst offender). But ‘Wolf In The Fold’ blends the rather less enjoyable creepiness of women being objectified with some properly horrifying chills. It’s implied through much of the story that Scotty might be a serial killer, which is genuinely unsettling, as it plays into the very real fear that anyone around you, someone you feel you know well, could be hiding a dark secret. While the eventual reveal that he has somehow been possessed by Jack the Ripper (who was an alien life form possessing a human, of course) offers some comfort there, the idea that a Victorian serial killer entity has been travelling around killing women for centuries is certainly frightening.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Serial killers, Scotty.

4. The Next Generation: season 6, episode 21 ‘Frame Of Mind’

Poor Riker. He’s just finished performing in a play in which he plays a man kept locked up, drugged, and experiencing a mental breakdown, and he gets abducted by aliens who keep him locked up, drug him, and force him to question what is or isn’t real, provoking a mental breakdown. What were the chances, eh?! Jumping between his usual role on the Enterprise and being a patient in a mental institution who has committed some horrible crime, it becomes increasingly difficult to work out what’s ‘real’, and in the end, just about none of what we saw was real at all – except for Riker’s very real imprisonment by a hostile alien. Jonathan Frakes puts in a wonderfully frazzled performance in an episode that will make your head spin, leaving the audience as confused as Riker is.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Mental institutions, being imprisoned.

3. Voyager: season 4, episode 7 ‘Scientific Method’

This is the one where an alien race who keep themselves invisible use the Voyager crew as test subjects for their lab experiments. The initial mystery is intriguing, but it’s after the reveal that things get really alarming. What was a frustrating and extremely familiar medical problem for Janeway, recurrent headaches, becomes a terrifying visual as we see the aliens surrounding the oblivious Captain, sticking enormous needles into her brain. Then, in one of the more chilling and uncomfortable sequences of television you’re likely to see, Seven of Nine, the only person able to see them, must then ignore them completely while they probe her as she takes the turbolift. Luckily Janeway puts a stop to it by flying right at some binary pulsars, and these aliens are so scary that actually seems like a good idea.

One to avoid of you’re scared of: Scientists, needles.

2. The Next Generation: season 6, episode 5 ‘Schisms’

There’s a recurring theme to a lot of the scariest episodes in this list – body horror. It’s what steps the Borg up to becoming even more terrifying than they already were, it’s what makes ‘Scientific Method’ so incredibly chilling, and it’s a big part of what makes ‘Schisms’ one of Star Trek’s all-time most unsettling episodes. The revelation that Riker has had his limbs amputated and re-attached is simply horrifying. Combine that with a classic alien abduction story and the incredibly unsettling, insect-like clicking noise the abductors make, and you have a properly scary alien abduction horror story to rival The X-Files (one of the biggest shows on television at the time it aired).

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Alien abduction.

1. Voyager: season 2, episode 23 ‘The Thaw’

Ranking these episodes in pure terms of how freaking terrifying they are, this instalment easily comes out at number one. Coming out shortly before The Matrix, this episode features a similar premise, that if the brain is hooked up to a virtual environment, a lethal shock within the virtual world might kill the person. But it’s taken in a very different direction, for the friendly aliens who initially went into the virtual environment to while away a long time in stasis have been taken hostage by a virtual clown and his circus troupe, the manifestation of their fears run amok. So basically, they’re trapped in an unending nightmare, kept in a state of constant, perpetual fear by a garish collection of unnerving characters. The entire episode is one terrifying set-piece after another, with a fantastically energetic performance by Michael McKean as the Clown. It’s all so scary it’s downright uncomfortable. Thank goodness for Janeway’s last minute insight into what Fear really wants – to be conquered.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Clowns.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

The Original Series: season 3, episode 12 ‘The Empath’

A number of Star Trek episodes deal with torture, and we’ve tended to leave them off this list as they’re really more upsetting, disturbing, or tragic than chill-down-your-spine scary. This one is pretty freaky, though.

The Original Series: season 3, episode 7 ‘The Day Of The Dove’

Much of this episode is a fairly standard early Klingons episode, albeit with a mysterious glow cloud (all hail!) floating around and swords appearing out of thin air. But when Sulu tells Kirk that the dead brother Chekov has been talking about all episode long never existed, we realise something stranger is going on.

Voyager: season 4, episode 25 ‘One’

Pretty similar in concept and execution to both ‘Persistence of Vision’ and ‘Doctor’s Orders’ (and coming right between the two). Still a scary concept, though.

Discovery: season 2, episode 12 ‘Through the Valley of Shadows’

Pike’s willing acceptance of his fate – and the fact we know it’s accurate from The Original Series – is heroic, tragic, and chilling all in one.

Picard: season 1, episode 6 ‘The Impossible Box’

Think about what happens at this episode’s climax from Soji’s point of view, as the person she trusts the most reveals that she’s not even human and then tries to kill her, and recoil in horror.

Lower Decks: season 1, episode 1 ‘Second Contact’

As mentioned above, this episode features plenty of classic horror tropes including blood, guts, gore, vomit, zombies and a giant spider. Watch it for some light relief after you’ve worked your way through the rest of the list!

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(Dis)-honourable mention: The Next Generation: season 7, episode 14 ‘Sub Rosa’, aka The One Where Bev Boinks A Ghost. It’s too ridiculous to be properly scary, but there is a half-decent ghost story buried in there somewhere.

The post The Scariest Star Trek Episodes appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[auroral-melody]

I can't wait to see Crowley's eyes, either! Part of me, though, really hopes we DON'T see them until his glasses are knocked off in the burning bookstore. I think this was when they were revealed for the first time in the book, and it's super dramatic and badass. (I'm sending this as an ask bc the post you mentioned his eyes in was already pretty long)

I agree!! That scene is incredibly important and quite a bit of a reveal. I’ve actually been meaning to talk about this. Here’s a sketch to help visualize:

Poor kiddo.

I wouldn’t say he’s exactly badass here; actually I rather feel the exact opposite, but it’s an incredibly powerful scene. I have a lot of Thoughts on this, so more under the cut.

Throughout the entirety of the book, Crowley is hyped up to be ~super cool~ and suave, anxious at times but usually under control. Similarly, Aziraphale is shown to never swear. The points when these characters break that trend means heightened emotions - for Aziraphale, it’s a bit of comedy; for Crowley, it shows how truly scared he is, because the buildup is slight things throughout the book (Aziraphale’s “oh dear,” not swearing with the practiced ease of someone who has spent six millennia not swearing, and wasn’t going to start now).

Crowley is doing okay - stressed, scared, yes, but he’s getting somewhere when he runs out of his flat. After that, he doesn’t know what to do, so he goes straight to Aziraphale’s place and runs inside, shouting for his friend like never before. Let’s look at this scene.

“Then he pushed open the door, and stepped into an inferno.

The whole bookshop was ablaze. Aziraphale!’ he called. ‘Aziraphale, you - you stupid - Aziraphale? Are you here?’

No answer. Just the crackle of burning paper, the splintering of glass as fire reached the upstairs rooms, the crash of lapsing timbers.”

The imagery here is intense and sets up the drama. His repetition of the angel’s name goes through several emotions. First, it’s just calling. After that, he’s frightened. He sort of half-insults Aziraphale, not knowing what to do, and asks if he’s here. At this point, he’s just trying to hear the angel’s voice in response, and he would immediately rush to help if he heard it. [I’m definitely writing that, heck.]

He scanned the shop urgently, desperately, looking for the angel, looking for help.

In the far corner a bookshelf toppled over, cascading flaming books across the floor. The fire was all around him, and Crowley ignored it. His left trouser leg began to smolder; he stopped it with a glance.

“Hello? Aziraphale! For Go - for Sa - for somebody’s sake! Aziraphale!”

Repetition in sentences, I’ve found, helps heighten the emotions, because it’s all the character can think of. In the first bit, he’s equating Aziraphale to help. After all, he did rush here to see if they could stop the Apocalypse; he did call him immediately post-delivering Adam. Crowley is very clever. He’s killed Ligur and evaded Hastur, and he can get to Tadfield on his own with ease. He invented many things. It’s a rare time when he’s out of ideas. Even when he’s confronted by Hastur, he’s thinking fast and manages to get out of it. But now, he’s hunted and scared and has way more problems than he started with.

He’s basically here because he’s scared out of his mind, and having Aziraphale around is comforting to him. He thinks Aziraphale will know what to do, because he sure doesn’t.

He’s not particularly afraid of fire - he’s afraid of facing all of this alone.

So he calls out a few more times, nearly swearing to two deities/lords he doesn’t generally go for, as has been done a few times (blessi - windfall / that time when Hastur and Ligur called “hail satan” and Crowley started talking about traffic). He’s still trying to get Aziraphale, just desperately aware of how useless he is at this point.

The shop window was smashed from outside. Crowley turned, startled, and an unexpected jet of water struck him full in the chest, knocking him to the ground.

His shades flew to the far corner of the room, and became a puddle of burning plastic. Yellow eyes with slitted vertical pupils were revealed. Wet and steaming, face ash-blackened, as far from cool as it was possible for him to be, on all fours in the blazing bookshop, Crowley cursed Aziraphale, and the ineffable plan, and Above, and Below.”

This is his breaking point. Physically, he’s shocked. Mentally, he’s terrified. The glasses are somewhat symbolic of his cool dude façade, and now they’re on fire. He’s probably landed on broken glass and it’s hard to see or breathe.

Seeing his eyes means vulnerability.

It’s like writing his name. He doesn’t like to do it - it associates him with what he tries to hide. He’s somewhat ashamed of it. He’s somewhat ashamed of being who he’s supposed to be - a demon, without freedom or any spark of decency. He’s vulnerable now and to a demon that’s fatal. He’s on the floor, afraid, probably looks like a wet rat, is also probably on fire. It’s his lowest point.

Back to how his being cool has been played up the whole book, the line “as far as cool as it was possible for him to be” is important. Five minutes after he loses Aziraphale, he’s lost everything he feels is him. Aziraphale grounds him. Aziraphale is important because he can perform, he can think faster when he can bounce his ideas off someone else and build them with support (think of how he and Aziraphale go back and forth against the Metatron and Beelzebub; think of how he leads Aziraphale to his point of view while also convincing himself).

The angel is someone he holds very close, and losing him feels like losing himself. Think of how you feel when a friendship ends: it’s heartbreaking and so scary. While he figures Aziraphale is probably okay, it still feels like he’s been abandoned, intentionally or not. He’s sort of felt this before, when Aziraphale leaves with the book (”Right,” mumbled Crowley, suddenly feeling very alone), but this time it’s more impactful because he needs Aziraphale for other reasons besides just being lonely.

Kinda interestingly, Crowley seems to just lose it here and curse everyone he can think of. He doesn’t want it to be his fault, and arguably it’s not. He feels thrown into this.

This sort of theme continues for his next few scenes:

“He reached into the glove compartment for his spare pair of sunglasses, and found only cassettes. Irritably he grabbed one at random and pushed it into the slot.He wanted Bach, but would settle for The Traveling Wilburys.All we need is, Radio Gaga, sang Freddie Mercury.All I need is out, thought Crowley.”

He keeps spare sunglasses in the car, haha, but finds only music. Oh, well - he associates music with him being cool too.

He buys a lot of classical cassettes, which evidently Aziraphale enjoys a lot. The angel knows he keeps his cassettes in the glove compartment, so they’ve probably listened to things before. I kind of wonder if he’s subconsciously wanting classical because it reminds him of Aziraphale, and maybe that gives him comfort.

Again, Crowley doesn’t want to be in this situation at all. He’s just really scared.

“Whee. Whizz. Pop. Static drowned out the rest of the program.

Crowley turned off the radio and bit his lower lip. Beneath the ash and soot that flaked his face, he looked very tired, and very pale, and very scared.”

The gardening bit is interrupted by the demons. Back and forth throughout these, when Crowley is stressed, his conflict is his identity. Who is he really - a demon who’s just incompetent and useless and frightened, or a Cool Dude who knows what he’s doing and can casually listen to gardening tips at the end of the world? Is he truly evil, or does he have a spark of goodness? Does Aziraphale only care for him because of that spark? Does being vulnerable and scared and lashing out - does being a demon with yellow eyes mean he’s less to the angel? Does being vulnerable mean he’s kinder, or is his aloof and cool sunglasses persona the better one?

Not to mention, all the stress around him. How is he going to die?

When he gets his sunglasses back, he recovers. He decides he’s going to do his best, and he’s going to stay optimistic. That’s who he’s going to be - he’s going to be him right until the end. Anthony Crowley. After all - and this is a sentence that’s repeated a couple times - what the hell? What else does he have to lose?

In the end, here, Crowley manages to gather himself up. I’m proud of him. These scenes are a height in his arc: deciding to do what’s right and keep going no matter what, and hoping against hope. He’s powerfully optimistic (perhaps an undemonic feature) and it gives him strength to carry on. That’s admirable.

I feel like seeing Crowley’s eyes means seeing him unveiled. I think, acceptably, if he were to get other scenes without the glasses on, they could be around Aziraphale. Trusting Aziraphale with that could be monumental. You know how often in fic, wings are intimate? I think that’s a great headcanon, but maybe for Crowley, seeing his eyes means he’s letting his guard down too (or, in this case, it’s been thrown off him and stamped into the ground like a steamroller).

[fitnesshealthyoga-blog]

New Post has been published on https://fitnesshealthyoga.com/how-a-daily-chakra-meditation-transformed-one-yogis-life/

How a Daily Chakra Meditation Transformed One Yogi’s Life

A YJ editor learns about the power of abundance through a daily chakra meditation challenge. 

As a yogi, I’ve grasped the concept of abundance—intellectually. But as someone easily whacked out of balance by overbearing personalities or overwhelming workloads, I’ve never been entirely convinced that the universe could accommodate both my needs and virtually anything else at hand. Things get crowded quickly. My chest tightens and hip flexors grip; I ditch plans to practice yoga, stop making nourishing meals, and skip dates to connect with dear friends—or, most importantly, myself.

It may all go back to growing up in a Greek household, which involved what I’ll generously call a spirited communication style. Somehow, stillness and peace were elusive in a two-story home with big bedrooms and a finished basement. And this perceived lack of space spilled into an underlying, unchecked zero-sum mentality that has shaped my perspective ever since.

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In early college, roommates and I lamented the supposed dearth of eligible partners in the dating scene. When peers sustained relationships, I’d shake my head and say, “they’re stealing from the sex pot,” as though, like a soup special on a cold day, our campus could just run out of love.

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Last year, a yoga teacher and I showed up for a filming project and both felt under the weather. By mid-afternoon, I’d recovered; “I used up all the good vibes when you needed it most!” I joked. She (kindly) reminded me that there is an infinite source of healing for all.

This isn’t exactly what I thought I’d confront as I embarked on YJ’s month-long challenge to practice a chakra meditation every day. Finding calm? Sure. Less stress? Looked forward to that. Spiritual ecstasy? If I’m lucky, great—but not a must. Instead, it was time to take a look at my internal space-time continuum.

See also YJ’s March Meditation Challenge Will Help You Stick to a Steady Practice

Learn more about a chakra meditation and how to start a 31-day challenge as well. 

Balancing the Chakras

The 31-day challenge began without ceremony on New Year’s Day in Brussels, where my partner and I were visiting family. I sat in the unmade guest bed, welcomed a purring Chartreux voluntarily curled up in my lap, and fired up a 20-minute guided chakra meditation from legendary Tantra teacher Sally Kempton.

New to chakras? Here’s a quick primer: Chakras are whirling forces of subtle energy associated with different aspects of the physical, emotional, and spiritual bodies. There are 7 (of many more) chakras primarily taught in yoga, and this is what they stand for:

Muladhara (Root): Earth, security, home, finances

Svadhisthana (Sacral): Water, creativity, sexuality

Manipura (Solar Plexus): Fire, sense of self

Anahata (Heart): Air, love

Visuddha (Throat): Space, communication from the heart’s truth

Ajna (Third Eye): Light, intuition

Sahasrara (Crown): Bliss, divine connection

(You can get sucked into learning more about the chakras here.)

They are strung along the sushumna nadi, a central channel of life force that runs from the base of the spine through the crown of the head. The idea is that balancing the chakras—by focusing breath, mantras (sounds), yantras (shapes), imagery, and colors in their respective locations along this inner totem pole—allows you to access this sacred streak of energy.

When I asked Sally about what happens when (and if) you open the central channel, she told me that, with so much attention toward the central channel, it was an effective centering technique. She also dangled a taste of nonduality. In a Tantric reality, everyone is one with the Divine. “You can become aware that your body is a formless, vast, undulating center full of light and bliss,” she said. “It’s a fairly dramatic experience.” 

It all sounds esoteric, so I wouldn’t expect everyone to embrace it. But I’d microdosed on chakra practices for over 15 years, so I was ready to dive in. When I was 20, I found a random chakra book in my East Village sublet and journaled a root chakra affirmation that resonated: “I am safe, I trust in the natural flow of life, I take my natural place in the world content in the knowledge that all I need will come to me in the right time and place.” Years later, within the context of a vigorous flow, Seane Corn presented the chakras as a psychological roadmap for growth. 

Then I met Tantra and Kriya masters Alan and Sarah Finger, who brought the chakras to light with concrete techniques to harmonize them. It was the first time I learned the chakras as a subtle body technology. They also answered a good question: How do you actually locate a chakra? For me, bija (seed) mantras were the entry point; with enough focus, repeating the staccato sounds (in the case of the root chakra, lam) help me trace a pulse in a specific location (pelvic floor). 

Even so, beaming awareness and imagery to ambiguous areas in my body required concentration and good faith. As a result, the neurotic part of my brain didn’t focus on the usual storylines: deadlines, challenges, or omg how much time is left in this meditation?! I was lulled by the mantras’ vibrations, and all the visualizations inspired my imagination—a boon for anyone who spends too much time in Type-A territory.

There was a misstep when I first imagined elements—earth, water, fire, space, light, bliss—associated with each chakra. Before Brussels, I’d traveled to Rome, so my mind conjured scenes from the Colosseum: snarled roots in its underbelly; water rising in the amphitheater… I quickly decided not to instill scenes from such an infamous space.

Instead I coaxed meaningful imagery: Strong roots holding up the mermaid-like mahogany trees I’d seen on Costa Rica’s Osa Peninsula; emerald lakes tucked into rarely trekked valleys of the Sierra Nevada that I’d swam in; the pulse of my apartment stove’s burner enacting a flame in my belly; a tiny flame on a stick of palo santo in my heart center. A Magritte sky in my throat, leading to a golden hour light spilling in from my third eye and crown.

Watch also: What, Exactly, Are the Chakras? Alan Finger Explains

The real test came later in the month, when my schedule packed up.

How the Chakras Created Space in My Body, Mind… and Life

Right away things shifted. I was still on holiday when my coworkers began trickling back into the office. Although I still checked my email—it may take a year of meditation to bust that habit—I didn’t feel my heart pound as they came in. I felt freedom as I visited museums, enjoyed the art nouveau architecture, and connected with family.

Instead of seeking the usual alone time when I returned to New York, I invited good friends over for dinner and king cake. Once I resumed the grind, that vacation halo lasted longer than usual. Each meditation felt like it was literally emptying me of clutter and fog, leaving me with clarity. And, yes, in some sitting practices, I could feel like I was filling up with light.

The real test came later in the month, when my schedule packed up. I prepared for an upcoming filming in another state. I assisted a week-long yoga training that lasted from early morning until evening, and then came home to complete the day’s work. Oh, and a friend from California came to stay with me.

Even for someone who doesn’t easily get overwhelmed, a lot was going on. And it would have been my default to shut out my friend, worry my way through the training, or just operate from the adrenaline.

There’s a pop culture adage that we all have the same amount of time in a day as Beyoncé. Maybe her secret is chakra meditations, because as I found space in my practice, my life opened up. I didn’t have to turn anything down, yet I didn’t feel resentful saying yes. All that inward focus cultivated a strong sense of embodiment. I could be present without losing my wits (or myself) in the process. 

When the subway literally broke one morning before training, I didn’t agonize that I’d be late. I calmly walked 20 minutes to the nearest bus route, emailed my teacher, and meditated. (I showed up on time anyway.)

See also This is the Reason I Take the Subway 45 Minutes Uptown to Work Out – Even Though There’s a Gym On My Block

During the training, I knocked over a tripod and it came crashing down during a calming restorative practice. I froze with horror; attempting to melt into my mat was futile. Shit happens, and I was grateful for a makeshift chakra meditation in that moment to move past embarrassment.

I felt peace in this chaotic schedule and could summon an abundance of presence, making deep connections with students at the training, laughing with my good friend at midnight, being kinder to my partner, and, most importantly, tending to myself. 

It may sound odd that I “allowed” myself these basic needs and simple pleasures, but it’s true: In the past, the weight of a to-do list or social obligations meant I didn’t have room for myself. I may not have experienced the splendor of the infinite universe (yet!), but this meditation expanded time and space so I could register divine moments every day.  

I started my days with a cup of coffee on the sofa and read instead of clacking away at emails. I prepared an egg and avocado breakfast. I stole moments to enjoy the way the low winter sun lit the pastel buildings in Soho.

See also This is Your Brain on Meditation

Want to explore the chakras like you never have before? Join Alan and Sarah for YJ’s 4-week online course, Chakras 101: Unleash the Wisdom and Vitality Within. Through lessons, meditations, asana, mantras, and visualizations, you will learn how to balance these whirling forces of subtle energy, from root to crown. You’ll also fill in the blanks and discover what, exactly, chakras are, where they came from, and how they work. The results: The ability to alter your state of mind, carry yourself with more confidence and ease, and tap into your innate intelligence and power. Sign up today!

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[bisexualjeongguk]

hyyh wings yoonkook ramble as said!!!! hhh mentions of suicide and death and abuse?? long as hell good luck!! okay so. imo the whole concept is kind of... imagery? metaphors? i dont believe there is anything concrete storyline wise but like... its fun to think about!!! everything is obviously about youth growing up and facing hardships etc anyways i mostly think abt and focus on yoonkook because im biased with an extreme case of tunnel vision sjshsjhf but for starters i don't have anything to say about jin bc im like. focused on the Gays™️... like theyre all friends whove been paired up so im gonna try to comment in each one? jihopes story seems to me like. both of them tried to commit suicide and failed? aka ended up in a mental institution of some sort together. idk if they met there or smth but obviously my mentally ill gays? vmon is like!!!! they were partners in crime (and boyfriends) and i think tae for his part because of his sisters abuse and he used it as a way to cope and get out of that environment? joon probably because he was stuck in a dead end job trying to achieve his dreams and get somewhere... joon is the person who tae trusts the most (i think its joon tae calls after he like. kills his sisters abuser) im trying to puts taes arrest in stigma in the timeline but it's confusing me so ill just jshssb leave it [cracks knuckles] now yoonkook okay so. i cannot think of any storyline for them besides the romantic/dependent relationship they seem to have? like ever since prologue they have been heart eyes at each other and its like... physically possible to see how much they adore each other during prologue and some parts of inu? timeline wise it probably went down like this. they got together before prologue and it seemed like... a honeymoon phase for them? around each other they were always bright and happy even tho they were probably dealing with some other shit the other was there to help (prologue scene where yoongi plays with the lighter with a serious face and jk blows it out eventually). they were always sitting next to each other and talking touching casually etc. something happened in run that made them fight? it seemed like it was a reoccurring thing and jungkook had that look in his face like he was trying to pull yoongi back from wherever he was in his head? idk its so. heartbreaking the way jungkook clings to him hoping to ground yoongi back and all yoongi does is like. bitterly laugh. things got violent and _obviously_ thats not how a relationship is supposed to go. but i think it got to an extreme that it hadnt before and thats why jungkook leaves. i dont think they like. break up in that moment but jungkook physically leaves and hes so fucking pissed at yoongi? at the world for not letting they be happy? for not letting _him_ be happy? in inu i think it went down like. jungkook left and he was mad and picking fights and then. he got hit by that car and d*ed.... and in the mv when jk is hit the next frame is yoongi looking devasted in his hotel room? so i believe that. yoongi feels guilty for jungkook death and he keeps thinking its his fault you know? its his fault he did it he drove jungkook away ruined his _life_ and yoongi cant take it so he. k*lls himself too. in the wings short films things are like. wayyy more metaphorical? and i remember when it was revealed that it was demian based i came up with a lot of stuff related to it but i truly forgot djdhhddh anyways jungkook "wakes" and hes alone and everything is dark except for himself? and then. we keep getting this yoongi related images like the drawing he finds on the floor and then!! therez the fucking paiting. its like obviously yoongi (theres one comparison of the paiting and the one shot of yoongi in the wings: tour trailer that shows they seems really alike [the two halfs of yoongis face seem to have different expressions both in the painting and the shot]) anyways. the paiting catches on fire and jk cries out hyung and its so? painfully obvious it symbolizes yoongis death? and then jk feels guilty too. if he hadnt been reckless yoongi would be alive and he would be alive too. and the painting is just there. mocking him and bringing everything back killing him even more and in first love god. yoongi is looking for jungkook. he plays begin on the piano and when he hears the whistle (also played in the begin short film if im not mistaken) he immediately goes out because hes so desperate to find jungkook to apologize and beg for forgiveness because its his fault!!! and god even after everything he loves jungkook so so much. instead of finding him yoongi is forced to live his lovers death!!! its horrible and he feels sick but he wont stop running until he finds him. when he comes back to the music shop its. burning burning burning the piano he was playing is in flames!! and pianos are their thing its their symbol and it burns and maybe yoongi realizes its. worthless because he lost everything he loved and now hes forced to relive his torments for however long. shit this dhdhshdh got so fucking long but thats like. basically it storyline wise if you were to put it in a plot of some sort. idk my heart hurts and we're probably gonna get more of yoonkook in the japanese bs&t and im 100% ready for my fucking death!!!!!! if u read this till the end ur a fighter... thank u and im sorry dhdgs @hexgirlz

[incagewetrust]

The Wicker Man (2006)

In this remake of Robin Hardy’s ‘The Wicker Man’, Edward Malus (Nicolas Cage), is contacted by old flame Willow Woodward (Kate Beahan) who wants his help in finding her missing daughter. After they broke up, Willow moved back to her childhood home of Summersisle, a colony off the coast of Washington ruled by an eeeeevil matriarchy whos men are subservient. Although Edward is just a traffic cop with absolutely no business working his own missing persons case, he heads off to the island to help anyways because of course Willow can only trust him. Edward then spends the majority of the movie getting the run around from all the ladies, who tell him they have absolutely no idea what little girl he’s talking about. He also hears about an upcoming festival where a sacrifice must be made to bring about a good harvest, which wouldn’t you know little girls have been suspiciously involved in each year. Will Edward be able to figure out what’s going on and save Willow’s daughter from these ‘bitches’ before it’s too late? 

»»————-　★　————-««

Wow for such a holy grail of memes this movie really was not enjoyable. I couldn’t even really laugh at it for being bad because it was more boring than anything else. The only good things I can say is the score was awesome, and I love that I got to watch a thriller without that ugly washed out sepia filter the 2000′s have been so fond of. Angelo Badalamenti is an amazing composer, but even he couldn’t save this dumpster fire. His scores were waaaay more intense than the pg-13 jumpscares they played over. I can’t even get on board with people who call this a black comedy because I found Nicolas’ performance more painfully brutal than funny.

I haven’t watched the original, but I’m assuming the step down from R rated to PG-13 contributed at least somewhat to this boring mess, considering the original is critically acclaimed lol. In my experience, PG-13 horrors and thrillers usually aren’t that good unless they have a really good story, or are psychological. And although trying to wrap your head around how Edward’s mind works as he runs around in circles all movie was a lot of mental work, I don’t think that really counts as either. I mean wow, he just lets everyone brush him off every single time he asks a question, and just walks right into where they’re leading him. I felt kind of bad for him by the end, he tried his best but he just does not have an investigative bone in his body.

I really think cult type stuff is served much better when you can get away with more. For example, if this movie was more fucked up I think the addition of Edward being allergic to bees could have been used soooo much better. We could have had a much gnarlier bee torture scene, and creepy bee/bug imagery to hype up tension throughout the movie. Bees live in colonies just like the people on Summersisle!! They have a ruling matriarch just like queen bees!!! Think of the parallels and imagery potential!!!! They even used a bee buzzing sound in the background of the bar scene with James Franco at the very end, and bees on the poster, why didn’t they do stuff like that more?????? A waste.

I also just have to comment on the changes to Summersisle. Going from a pagan cult in the original to a misogynist’s nightmare scenario in the remake…. That was..... a choice? The women all being evil and sneaky isn’t inherently a problem because of course women can be evil, but combined with everything else… I think someone might have a problem with women.

The men all being mute, general laborours and breeding stock, the women using pregnancy to ‘’’’esnare’’’’ men and draw them back to the colony to sacrifice them, and Edward punching some of them in the face and screaming ‘You bitches” at them when he’s captured….. you can find all these kinds of themes on women hating pages on the internet. I love it.

Me too Edward. Me too.

I just don’t get what this movie was trying to achieve. And to top it all off, SATURN FILMS PRODUCED THIS. Nicolas. Why.

If you want to watch a good version of this remake, give the trailer a watch. I’m serious, the trailer is tragically good and I hate it.

Rating:

[chocolate-brownies]

How a Daily Chakra Meditation Unlocked More Time and Space in My Life

How a Daily Chakra Meditation Unlocked More Time and Space in My Life:

One yogi never had enough hours in the day to tend to it all, much less herself. Here’s how this regular Tantric practice inspired a change.

A YJ editor learns about the power of abundance through a daily chakra meditation challenge. 

As a yogi, I’ve grasped the concept of abundance—intellectually. But as someone easily whacked out of balance by overbearing personalities or overwhelming workloads, I’ve never been entirely convinced that the universe could accommodate both my needs and virtually anything else at hand. Things get crowded quickly. My chest tightens and hip flexors grip; I ditch plans to practice yoga, stop making nourishing meals, and skip dates to connect with dear friends—or, most importantly, myself.

It may all go back to growing up in a Greek household, which involved what I’ll generously call a spirited communication style. Somehow, stillness and peace were elusive in a two-story home with big bedrooms and a finished basement. And this perceived lack of space spilled into an underlying, unchecked zero-sum mentality that has shaped my perspective ever since.

In early college, roommates and I lamented the supposed dearth of eligible partners in the dating scene. When peers sustained relationships, I’d shake my head and say, “they’re stealing from the sex pot,” as though, like a soup special on a cold day, our campus could just run out of love.

Last year, a yoga teacher and I showed up for a filming project and both felt under the weather. By mid-afternoon, I’d recovered; “I used up all the good vibes when you needed it most!” I joked. She (kindly) reminded me that there is an infinite source of healing for all.

This isn’t exactly what I thought I’d confront as I embarked on YJ’s month-long challenge to practice a chakra meditation every day. Finding calm? Sure. Less stress? Looked forward to that. Spiritual ecstasy? If I’m lucky, great—but not a must. Instead, it was time to take a look at my internal space-time continuum.

See also YJ’s March Meditation Challenge Will Help You Stick to a Steady Practice

Learn more about a chakra meditation and how to start a 31-day challenge as well. 

Balancing the Chakras

The 31-day challenge began without ceremony on New Year’s Day in Brussels, where my partner and I were visiting family. I sat in the unmade guest bed, welcomed a purring Chartreux voluntarily curled up in my lap, and fired up a 20-minute guided chakra meditation from legendary Tantra teacher Sally Kempton.

New to chakras? Here’s a quick primer: Chakras are whirling forces of subtle energy associated with different aspects of the physical, emotional, and spiritual bodies. There are 7 (of many more) chakras primarily taught in yoga, and this is what they stand for:

Muladhara (Root): Earth, security, home, finances

Svadhisthana (Sacral): Water, creativity, sexuality

Manipura (Solar Plexus): Fire, sense of self

Anahata (Heart): Air, love

Visuddha (Throat): Space, communication from the heart’s truth

Ajna (Third Eye): Light, intuition

Sahasrara (Crown): Bliss, divine connection

(You can get sucked into learning more about the chakras here.)

They are strung along the sushumna nadi, a central channel of life force that runs from the base of the spine through the crown of the head. The idea is that balancing the chakras—by focusing breath, mantras (sounds), yantras (shapes), imagery, and colors in their respective locations along this totem—allows you to access this sacred streak of energy.

When I asked Sally about what happens when (and if) you open the central channel, she dangled a taste of nonduality. In Tantra, reality is a universe in which everyone is one with the divine. “You can become aware that your body is a formless, vast undulating center full of light and bliss,” she said. “It’s a fairly dramatic experience.” 

It all sounds esoteric, so I wouldn’t expect everyone to embrace it. But I’d microdosed on chakra practices for over 15 years, so I was ready to dive in. When I was 20, I found a random chakra book in my East Village sublet and journaled a root chakra affirmation that resonated: “I am safe, I trust in the natural flow of life, I take my natural place in the world content in the knowledge that all I need will come to me in the right time and place.” Years later, within the context of a vigorous flow, Seane Corn presented the chakras as a psychological roadmap for growth. 

Then I met Tantra and Kriya masters Alan and Sarah Finger, who truly brought the chakras to light and offered concrete techniques to harmonize them. They also answered a good question: How do you actually locate a chakra? For me, bija (seed) mantras were the entry point; if I focused enough, repeating the staccato sounds (such as lam for the root chakra) help me trace a pulse in a specific location (pelvic floor). 

Even so, beaming awareness and imagery to ambiguous areas in my body required concentration and good faith. As a result, the neurotic part of my brain didn’t focus on the usual storylines: deadlines, challenges, or omg how much time is left in this meditation?! I was lulled by the mantras’ vibrations, and all the visualizations inspired my imagination—a boon for anyone who spends too much time in Type-A territory.

There was a misstep when I first imagined elements—earth, water, fire, space, light, bliss—associated with each chakra. Before Brussels, I’d traveled to Rome, so my mind conjured scenes from the Colosseum: snarled roots in its underbelly; water rising in the amphitheater… I quickly decided not to instill scenes from such an infamous space.

Instead I coaxed meaningful imagery: Strong roots holding up the mermaid-like mahogany trees I’d seen on Costa Rica’s Osa Peninsula; emerald lakes tucked into rarely trekked valleys of the Sierra Nevada that I’d swam in; the pulse of my apartment stove’s burner enacting a flame in my belly; a tiny flame on a stick of palo santo in my heart center. A Magritte sky in my throat, leading to a golden hour light spilling in from my third eye and crown.

Watch also: What, Exactly, Are the Chakras? Alan Finger Explains

The real test came later in the month, when my schedule packed up.

How the Chakras Created Space in My Body, Mind… and Life

Right away things shifted. I was still on holiday when my coworkers began trickling back into the office. Although I still checked my email—it may take a year of meditation to bust that habit—I didn’t feel my heart pound as they came in. I felt freedom as I visited museums, enjoyed the art nouveau architecture, and connected with family.

Instead of seeking the usual alone time when I returned to New York, I invited good friends over for dinner and king cake. Once I resumed the grind, that vacation halo lasted longer than usual. Each meditation felt like it was literally emptying me of clutter and fog, leaving me with clarity.

The real test came later in the month, when my schedule packed up. I prepared for an upcoming filming in another state. I assisted a week-long yoga training that lasted from early morning until evening, and then came home to complete the day’s work. Oh, and a friend from California came to stay with me.

Even for someone who doesn’t easily get overwhelmed, a lot was going on. And it would have been my default to shut out my friend, worry my way through the training, or just operate from the adrenaline.

There’s a pop culture adage that we all have the same amount of time in a day as Beyoncé. Maybe her secret is chakra meditations, because as I found space in my practice, my life opened up. I didn’t have to turn anything down, yet I didn’t feel resentful saying yes. All that inward focus cultivated a strong sense of embodiment. I could be present without losing my wits (or myself) in the process.

When the subway literally broke one morning before training, I didn’t agonize that I’d be late. I calmly walked 20 minutes to the nearest bus route, emailed my teacher, and meditated. (I showed up on time anyway.)

See also This is the Reason I Take the Subway 45 Minutes Uptown to Work Out - Even Though There’s a Gym On My Block

During the training, I knocked over a tripod and it came crashing down during a calming restorative practice. I froze with horror; attempting to melt into my mat was futile. Shit happens, and I was grateful for a makeshift chakra meditation in that moment to move past embarrassment.

I felt peace in this chaotic schedule and could summon an abundance of presence, making deep connections with students at the training, laughing with my good friend at midnight, being kinder to my partner, and, most importantly, tending to myself. 

It may sound odd that I “allowed” myself these basic needs and simple pleasures, but it’s true: In the past, the weight of a to-do list or a lot of social obligations meant I didn’t have room for myself. I may not have experienced the splendor of the infinite universe (yet!), but this meditation expanded time and space so I could register the divine moments every day.  

I started my days with a cup of coffee on the sofa and read instead of clacking away at emails. I prepared an egg and avocado breakfast. I stole moments to enjoy the way the low winter sun lit the pastel buildings in Soho.

See also This is Your Brain on Meditation

[krisiunicornio]

One yogi never had enough hours in the day to tend to it all, much less herself. Here’s how this regular Tantric practice inspired a change.

A YJ editor learns about the power of abundance through a daily chakra meditation challenge. 

As a yogi, I’ve grasped the concept of abundance—intellectually. But as someone easily whacked out of balance by overbearing personalities or overwhelming workloads, I’ve never been entirely convinced that the universe could accommodate both my needs and virtually anything else at hand. Things get crowded quickly. My chest tightens and hip flexors grip; I ditch plans to practice yoga, stop making nourishing meals, and skip dates to connect with dear friends—or, most importantly, myself.

It may all go back to growing up in a Greek household, which involved what I’ll generously call a spirited communication style. Somehow, stillness and peace were elusive in a two-story home with big bedrooms and a finished basement. And this perceived lack of space spilled into an underlying, unchecked zero-sum mentality that has shaped my perspective ever since.

In early college, roommates and I lamented the supposed dearth of eligible partners in the dating scene. When peers sustained relationships, I’d shake my head and say, “they’re stealing from the sex pot,” as though, like a soup special on a cold day, our campus could just run out of love.

Last year, a yoga teacher and I showed up for a filming project and both felt under the weather. By mid-afternoon, I’d recovered; “I used up all the good vibes when you needed it most!” I joked. She (kindly) reminded me that there is an infinite source of healing for all.

This isn’t exactly what I thought I’d confront as I embarked on YJ’s month-long challenge to practice a chakra meditation every day. Finding calm? Sure. Less stress? Looked forward to that. Spiritual ecstasy? If I’m lucky, great—but not a must. Instead, it was time to take a look at my internal space-time continuum.

See also YJ’s March Meditation Challenge Will Help You Stick to a Steady Practice

Learn more about a chakra meditation and how to start a 31-day challenge as well. 

Balancing the Chakras

The 31-day challenge began without ceremony on New Year’s Day in Brussels, where my partner and I were visiting family. I sat in the unmade guest bed, welcomed a purring Chartreux voluntarily curled up in my lap, and fired up a 20-minute guided chakra meditation from legendary Tantra teacher Sally Kempton.

New to chakras? Here’s a quick primer: Chakras are whirling forces of subtle energy associated with different aspects of the physical, emotional, and spiritual bodies. There are 7 (of many more) chakras primarily taught in yoga, and this is what they stand for:

Muladhara (Root): Earth, security, home, finances

Svadhisthana (Sacral): Water, creativity, sexuality

Manipura (Solar Plexus): Fire, sense of self

Anahata (Heart): Air, love

Visuddha (Throat): Space, communication from the heart’s truth

Ajna (Third Eye): Light, intuition

Sahasrara (Crown): Bliss, divine connection

(You can get sucked into learning more about the chakras here.)

They are strung along the sushumna nadi, a central channel of life force that runs from the base of the spine through the crown of the head. The idea is that balancing the chakras—by focusing breath, mantras (sounds), yantras (shapes), imagery, and colors in their respective locations along this totem—allows you to access this sacred streak of energy.

When I asked Sally about what happens when (and if) you open the central channel, she dangled a taste of nonduality. In Tantra, reality is a universe in which everyone is one with the divine. “You can become aware that your body is a formless, vast undulating center full of light and bliss,” she said. “It’s a fairly dramatic experience.” 

It all sounds esoteric, so I wouldn’t expect everyone to embrace it. But I’d microdosed on chakra practices for over 15 years, so I was ready to dive in. When I was 20, I found a random chakra book in my East Village sublet and journaled a root chakra affirmation that resonated: “I am safe, I trust in the natural flow of life, I take my natural place in the world content in the knowledge that all I need will come to me in the right time and place.” Years later, within the context of a vigorous flow, Seane Corn presented the chakras as a psychological roadmap for growth. 

Then I met Tantra and Kriya masters Alan and Sarah Finger, who truly brought the chakras to light and offered concrete techniques to harmonize them. They also answered a good question: How do you actually locate a chakra? For me, bija (seed) mantras were the entry point; if I focused enough, repeating the staccato sounds (such as lam for the root chakra) help me trace a pulse in a specific location (pelvic floor). 

Even so, beaming awareness and imagery to ambiguous areas in my body required concentration and good faith. As a result, the neurotic part of my brain didn’t focus on the usual storylines: deadlines, challenges, or omg how much time is left in this meditation?! I was lulled by the mantras’ vibrations, and all the visualizations inspired my imagination—a boon for anyone who spends too much time in Type-A territory.

There was a misstep when I first imagined elements—earth, water, fire, space, light, bliss—associated with each chakra. Before Brussels, I’d traveled to Rome, so my mind conjured scenes from the Colosseum: snarled roots in its underbelly; water rising in the amphitheater… I quickly decided not to instill scenes from such an infamous space.

Instead I coaxed meaningful imagery: Strong roots holding up the mermaid-like mahogany trees I’d seen on Costa Rica’s Osa Peninsula; emerald lakes tucked into rarely trekked valleys of the Sierra Nevada that I’d swam in; the pulse of my apartment stove’s burner enacting a flame in my belly; a tiny flame on a stick of palo santo in my heart center. A Magritte sky in my throat, leading to a golden hour light spilling in from my third eye and crown.

Watch also: What, Exactly, Are the Chakras? Alan Finger Explains

The real test came later in the month, when my schedule packed up.

How the Chakras Created Space in My Body, Mind… and Life

Right away things shifted. I was still on holiday when my coworkers began trickling back into the office. Although I still checked my email—it may take a year of meditation to bust that habit—I didn’t feel my heart pound as they came in. I felt freedom as I visited museums, enjoyed the art nouveau architecture, and connected with family.

Instead of seeking the usual alone time when I returned to New York, I invited good friends over for dinner and king cake. Once I resumed the grind, that vacation halo lasted longer than usual. Each meditation felt like it was literally emptying me of clutter and fog, leaving me with clarity.

The real test came later in the month, when my schedule packed up. I prepared for an upcoming filming in another state. I assisted a week-long yoga training that lasted from early morning until evening, and then came home to complete the day’s work. Oh, and a friend from California came to stay with me.

Even for someone who doesn’t easily get overwhelmed, a lot was going on. And it would have been my default to shut out my friend, worry my way through the training, or just operate from the adrenaline.

There’s a pop culture adage that we all have the same amount of time in a day as Beyoncé. Maybe her secret is chakra meditations, because as I found space in my practice, my life opened up. I didn’t have to turn anything down, yet I didn’t feel resentful saying yes. All that inward focus cultivated a strong sense of embodiment. I could be present without losing my wits (or myself) in the process.

When the subway literally broke one morning before training, I didn’t agonize that I’d be late. I calmly walked 20 minutes to the nearest bus route, emailed my teacher, and meditated. (I showed up on time anyway.)

See also This is the Reason I Take the Subway 45 Minutes Uptown to Work Out - Even Though There's a Gym On My Block

During the training, I knocked over a tripod and it came crashing down during a calming restorative practice. I froze with horror; attempting to melt into my mat was futile. Shit happens, and I was grateful for a makeshift chakra meditation in that moment to move past embarrassment.

I felt peace in this chaotic schedule and could summon an abundance of presence, making deep connections with students at the training, laughing with my good friend at midnight, being kinder to my partner, and, most importantly, tending to myself. 

It may sound odd that I “allowed” myself these basic needs and simple pleasures, but it’s true: In the past, the weight of a to-do list or a lot of social obligations meant I didn’t have room for myself. I may not have experienced the splendor of the infinite universe (yet!), but this meditation expanded time and space so I could register the divine moments every day.  

I started my days with a cup of coffee on the sofa and read instead of clacking away at emails. I prepared an egg and avocado breakfast. I stole moments to enjoy the way the low winter sun lit the pastel buildings in Soho.

See also This is Your Brain on Meditation

[cedarrrun]

One yogi never had enough hours in the day to tend to it all, much less herself. Here’s how this regular Tantric practice inspired a change.

A YJ editor learns about the power of abundance through a daily chakra meditation challenge. 

As a yogi, I’ve grasped the concept of abundance—intellectually. But as someone easily whacked out of balance by overbearing personalities or overwhelming workloads, I’ve never been entirely convinced that the universe could accommodate both my needs and virtually anything else at hand. Things get crowded quickly. My chest tightens and hip flexors grip; I ditch plans to practice yoga, stop making nourishing meals, and skip dates to connect with dear friends—or, most importantly, myself.

It may all go back to growing up in a Greek household, which involved what I’ll generously call a spirited communication style. Somehow, stillness and peace were elusive in a two-story home with big bedrooms and a finished basement. And this perceived lack of space spilled into an underlying, unchecked zero-sum mentality that has shaped my perspective ever since.

In early college, roommates and I lamented the supposed dearth of eligible partners in the dating scene. When peers sustained relationships, I’d shake my head and say, “they’re stealing from the sex pot,” as though, like a soup special on a cold day, our campus could just run out of love.

Last year, a yoga teacher and I showed up for a filming project and both felt under the weather. By mid-afternoon, I’d recovered; “I used up all the good vibes when you needed it most!” I joked. She (kindly) reminded me that there is an infinite source of healing for all.

This isn’t exactly what I thought I’d confront as I embarked on YJ’s month-long challenge to practice a chakra meditation every day. Finding calm? Sure. Less stress? Looked forward to that. Spiritual ecstasy? If I’m lucky, great—but not a must. Instead, it was time to take a look at my internal space-time continuum.

See also YJ’s March Meditation Challenge Will Help You Stick to a Steady Practice

Learn more about a chakra meditation and how to start a 31-day challenge as well. 

Balancing the Chakras

The 31-day challenge began without ceremony on New Year’s Day in Brussels, where my partner and I were visiting family. I sat in the unmade guest bed, welcomed a purring Chartreux voluntarily curled up in my lap, and fired up a 20-minute guided chakra meditation from legendary Tantra teacher Sally Kempton.

New to chakras? Here’s a quick primer: Chakras are whirling forces of subtle energy associated with different aspects of the physical, emotional, and spiritual bodies. There are 7 (of many more) chakras primarily taught in yoga, and this is what they stand for:

Muladhara (Root): Earth, security, home, finances

Svadhisthana (Sacral): Water, creativity, sexuality

Manipura (Solar Plexus): Fire, sense of self

Anahata (Heart): Air, love

Visuddha (Throat): Space, communication from the heart’s truth

Ajna (Third Eye): Light, intuition

Sahasrara (Crown): Bliss, divine connection

(You can get sucked into learning more about the chakras here.)

They are strung along the sushumna nadi, a central channel of life force that runs from the base of the spine through the crown of the head. The idea is that balancing the chakras—by focusing breath, mantras (sounds), yantras (shapes), imagery, and colors in their respective locations along this totem—allows you to access this sacred streak of energy.

When I asked Sally about what happens when (and if) you open the central channel, she dangled a taste of nonduality. In Tantra, reality is a universe in which everyone is one with the divine. “You can become aware that your body is a formless, vast undulating center full of light and bliss,” she said. “It’s a fairly dramatic experience.” 

It all sounds esoteric, so I wouldn’t expect everyone to embrace it. But I’d microdosed on chakra practices for over 15 years, so I was ready to dive in. When I was 20, I found a random chakra book in my East Village sublet and journaled a root chakra affirmation that resonated: “I am safe, I trust in the natural flow of life, I take my natural place in the world content in the knowledge that all I need will come to me in the right time and place.” Years later, within the context of a vigorous flow, Seane Corn presented the chakras as a psychological roadmap for growth. 

Then I met Tantra and Kriya masters Alan and Sarah Finger, who truly brought the chakras to light and offered concrete techniques to harmonize them. They also answered a good question: How do you actually locate a chakra? For me, bija (seed) mantras were the entry point; if I focused enough, repeating the staccato sounds (such as lam for the root chakra) help me trace a pulse in a specific location (pelvic floor). 

Even so, beaming awareness and imagery to ambiguous areas in my body required concentration and good faith. As a result, the neurotic part of my brain didn’t focus on the usual storylines: deadlines, challenges, or omg how much time is left in this meditation?! I was lulled by the mantras’ vibrations, and all the visualizations inspired my imagination—a boon for anyone who spends too much time in Type-A territory.

There was a misstep when I first imagined elements—earth, water, fire, space, light, bliss—associated with each chakra. Before Brussels, I’d traveled to Rome, so my mind conjured scenes from the Colosseum: snarled roots in its underbelly; water rising in the amphitheater… I quickly decided not to instill scenes from such an infamous space.

Instead I coaxed meaningful imagery: Strong roots holding up the mermaid-like mahogany trees I’d seen on Costa Rica’s Osa Peninsula; emerald lakes tucked into rarely trekked valleys of the Sierra Nevada that I’d swam in; the pulse of my apartment stove’s burner enacting a flame in my belly; a tiny flame on a stick of palo santo in my heart center. A Magritte sky in my throat, leading to a golden hour light spilling in from my third eye and crown.

Watch also: What, Exactly, Are the Chakras? Alan Finger Explains

The real test came later in the month, when my schedule packed up.

How the Chakras Created Space in My Body, Mind… and Life

Right away things shifted. I was still on holiday when my coworkers began trickling back into the office. Although I still checked my email—it may take a year of meditation to bust that habit—I didn’t feel my heart pound as they came in. I felt freedom as I visited museums, enjoyed the art nouveau architecture, and connected with family.

Instead of seeking the usual alone time when I returned to New York, I invited good friends over for dinner and king cake. Once I resumed the grind, that vacation halo lasted longer than usual. Each meditation felt like it was literally emptying me of clutter and fog, leaving me with clarity.

The real test came later in the month, when my schedule packed up. I prepared for an upcoming filming in another state. I assisted a week-long yoga training that lasted from early morning until evening, and then came home to complete the day’s work. Oh, and a friend from California came to stay with me.

Even for someone who doesn’t easily get overwhelmed, a lot was going on. And it would have been my default to shut out my friend, worry my way through the training, or just operate from the adrenaline.

There’s a pop culture adage that we all have the same amount of time in a day as Beyoncé. Maybe her secret is chakra meditations, because as I found space in my practice, my life opened up. I didn’t have to turn anything down, yet I didn’t feel resentful saying yes. All that inward focus cultivated a strong sense of embodiment. I could be present without losing my wits (or myself) in the process.

When the subway literally broke one morning before training, I didn’t agonize that I’d be late. I calmly walked 20 minutes to the nearest bus route, emailed my teacher, and meditated. (I showed up on time anyway.)

See also This is the Reason I Take the Subway 45 Minutes Uptown to Work Out - Even Though There's a Gym On My Block

During the training, I knocked over a tripod and it came crashing down during a calming restorative practice. I froze with horror; attempting to melt into my mat was futile. Shit happens, and I was grateful for a makeshift chakra meditation in that moment to move past embarrassment.

I felt peace in this chaotic schedule and could summon an abundance of presence, making deep connections with students at the training, laughing with my good friend at midnight, being kinder to my partner, and, most importantly, tending to myself. 

It may sound odd that I “allowed” myself these basic needs and simple pleasures, but it’s true: In the past, the weight of a to-do list or a lot of social obligations meant I didn’t have room for myself. I may not have experienced the splendor of the infinite universe (yet!), but this meditation expanded time and space so I could register the divine moments every day.  

I started my days with a cup of coffee on the sofa and read instead of clacking away at emails. I prepared an egg and avocado breakfast. I stole moments to enjoy the way the low winter sun lit the pastel buildings in Soho.

See also This is Your Brain on Meditation

[amyddaniels]

How a Daily Chakra Meditation Unlocked More Time and Space in My Life

One yogi never had enough hours in the day to tend to it all, much less herself. Here’s how this regular Tantric practice inspired a change.

A YJ editor learns about the power of abundance through a daily chakra meditation challenge. 

As a yogi, I’ve grasped the concept of abundance—intellectually. But as someone easily whacked out of balance by overbearing personalities or overwhelming workloads, I’ve never been entirely convinced that the universe could accommodate both my needs and virtually anything else at hand. Things get crowded quickly. My chest tightens and hip flexors grip; I ditch plans to practice yoga, stop making nourishing meals, and skip dates to connect with dear friends—or, most importantly, myself.

It may all go back to growing up in a Greek household, which involved what I’ll generously call a spirited communication style. Somehow, stillness and peace were elusive in a two-story home with big bedrooms and a finished basement. And this perceived lack of space spilled into an underlying, unchecked zero-sum mentality that has shaped my perspective ever since.

In early college, roommates and I lamented the supposed dearth of eligible partners in the dating scene. When peers sustained relationships, I’d shake my head and say, “they’re stealing from the sex pot,” as though, like a soup special on a cold day, our campus could just run out of love.

Last year, a yoga teacher and I showed up for a filming project and both felt under the weather. By mid-afternoon, I’d recovered; “I used up all the good vibes when you needed it most!” I joked. She (kindly) reminded me that there is an infinite source of healing for all.

This isn’t exactly what I thought I’d confront as I embarked on YJ’s month-long challenge to practice a chakra meditation every day. Finding calm? Sure. Less stress? Looked forward to that. Spiritual ecstasy? If I’m lucky, great—but not a must. Instead, it was time to take a look at my internal space-time continuum.

See also YJ’s March Meditation Challenge Will Help You Stick to a Steady Practice

Learn more about a chakra meditation and how to start a 31-day challenge as well. 

Balancing the Chakras

The 31-day challenge began without ceremony on New Year’s Day in Brussels, where my partner and I were visiting family. I sat in the unmade guest bed, welcomed a purring Chartreux voluntarily curled up in my lap, and fired up a 20-minute guided chakra meditation from legendary Tantra teacher Sally Kempton.

New to chakras? Here’s a quick primer: Chakras are whirling forces of subtle energy associated with different aspects of the physical, emotional, and spiritual bodies. There are 7 (of many more) chakras primarily taught in yoga, and this is what they stand for:

Muladhara (Root): Earth, security, home, finances

Svadhisthana (Sacral): Water, creativity, sexuality

Manipura (Solar Plexus): Fire, sense of self

Anahata (Heart): Air, love

Visuddha (Throat): Space, communication from the heart’s truth

Ajna (Third Eye): Light, intuition

Sahasrara (Crown): Bliss, divine connection

(You can get sucked into learning more about the chakras here.)

They are strung along the sushumna nadi, a central channel of life force that runs from the base of the spine through the crown of the head. The idea is that balancing the chakras—by focusing breath, mantras (sounds), yantras (shapes), imagery, and colors in their respective locations along this totem—allows you to access this sacred streak of energy.

When I asked Sally about what happens when (and if) you open the central channel, she dangled a taste of nonduality. In Tantra, reality is a universe in which everyone is one with the divine. “You can become aware that your body is a formless, vast undulating center full of light and bliss,” she said. “It’s a fairly dramatic experience.” 

It all sounds esoteric, so I wouldn’t expect everyone to embrace it. But I’d microdosed on chakra practices for over 15 years, so I was ready to dive in. When I was 20, I found a random chakra book in my East Village sublet and journaled a root chakra affirmation that resonated: “I am safe, I trust in the natural flow of life, I take my natural place in the world content in the knowledge that all I need will come to me in the right time and place.” Years later, within the context of a vigorous flow, Seane Corn presented the chakras as a psychological roadmap for growth. 

Then I met Tantra and Kriya masters Alan and Sarah Finger, who truly brought the chakras to light and offered concrete techniques to harmonize them. They also answered a good question: How do you actually locate a chakra? For me, bija (seed) mantras were the entry point; if I focused enough, repeating the staccato sounds (such as lam for the root chakra) help me trace a pulse in a specific location (pelvic floor). 

Even so, beaming awareness and imagery to ambiguous areas in my body required concentration and good faith. As a result, the neurotic part of my brain didn’t focus on the usual storylines: deadlines, challenges, or omg how much time is left in this meditation?! I was lulled by the mantras’ vibrations, and all the visualizations inspired my imagination—a boon for anyone who spends too much time in Type-A territory.

There was a misstep when I first imagined elements—earth, water, fire, space, light, bliss—associated with each chakra. Before Brussels, I’d traveled to Rome, so my mind conjured scenes from the Colosseum: snarled roots in its underbelly; water rising in the amphitheater… I quickly decided not to instill scenes from such an infamous space.

Instead I coaxed meaningful imagery: Strong roots holding up the mermaid-like mahogany trees I’d seen on Costa Rica’s Osa Peninsula; emerald lakes tucked into rarely trekked valleys of the Sierra Nevada that I’d swam in; the pulse of my apartment stove’s burner enacting a flame in my belly; a tiny flame on a stick of palo santo in my heart center. A Magritte sky in my throat, leading to a golden hour light spilling in from my third eye and crown.

Watch also: What, Exactly, Are the Chakras? Alan Finger Explains

The real test came later in the month, when my schedule packed up.

How the Chakras Created Space in My Body, Mind… and Life

Right away things shifted. I was still on holiday when my coworkers began trickling back into the office. Although I still checked my email—it may take a year of meditation to bust that habit—I didn’t feel my heart pound as they came in. I felt freedom as I visited museums, enjoyed the art nouveau architecture, and connected with family.

Instead of seeking the usual alone time when I returned to New York, I invited good friends over for dinner and king cake. Once I resumed the grind, that vacation halo lasted longer than usual. Each meditation felt like it was literally emptying me of clutter and fog, leaving me with clarity.

The real test came later in the month, when my schedule packed up. I prepared for an upcoming filming in another state. I assisted a week-long yoga training that lasted from early morning until evening, and then came home to complete the day’s work. Oh, and a friend from California came to stay with me.

Even for someone who doesn’t easily get overwhelmed, a lot was going on. And it would have been my default to shut out my friend, worry my way through the training, or just operate from the adrenaline.

There’s a pop culture adage that we all have the same amount of time in a day as Beyoncé. Maybe her secret is chakra meditations, because as I found space in my practice, my life opened up. I didn’t have to turn anything down, yet I didn’t feel resentful saying yes. All that inward focus cultivated a strong sense of embodiment. I could be present without losing my wits (or myself) in the process.

When the subway literally broke one morning before training, I didn’t agonize that I’d be late. I calmly walked 20 minutes to the nearest bus route, emailed my teacher, and meditated. (I showed up on time anyway.)

See also This is the Reason I Take the Subway 45 Minutes Uptown to Work Out - Even Though There's a Gym On My Block

During the training, I knocked over a tripod and it came crashing down during a calming restorative practice. I froze with horror; attempting to melt into my mat was futile. Shit happens, and I was grateful for a makeshift chakra meditation in that moment to move past embarrassment.

I felt peace in this chaotic schedule and could summon an abundance of presence, making deep connections with students at the training, laughing with my good friend at midnight, being kinder to my partner, and, most importantly, tending to myself. 

It may sound odd that I “allowed” myself these basic needs and simple pleasures, but it’s true: In the past, the weight of a to-do list or a lot of social obligations meant I didn’t have room for myself. I may not have experienced the splendor of the infinite universe (yet!), but this meditation expanded time and space so I could register the divine moments every day.  

I started my days with a cup of coffee on the sofa and read instead of clacking away at emails. I prepared an egg and avocado breakfast. I stole moments to enjoy the way the low winter sun lit the pastel buildings in Soho.

See also This is Your Brain on Meditation

[remedialmassage]

How a Daily Chakra Meditation Unlocked More Time and Space in My Life

One yogi never had enough hours in the day to tend to it all, much less herself. Here’s how this regular Tantric practice inspired a change.

A YJ editor learns about the power of abundance through a daily chakra meditation challenge. 

As a yogi, I’ve grasped the concept of abundance—intellectually. But as someone easily whacked out of balance by overbearing personalities or overwhelming workloads, I’ve never been entirely convinced that the universe could accommodate both my needs and virtually anything else at hand. Things get crowded quickly. My chest tightens and hip flexors grip; I ditch plans to practice yoga, stop making nourishing meals, and skip dates to connect with dear friends—or, most importantly, myself.

It may all go back to growing up in a Greek household, which involved what I’ll generously call a spirited communication style. Somehow, stillness and peace were elusive in a two-story home with big bedrooms and a finished basement. And this perceived lack of space spilled into an underlying, unchecked zero-sum mentality that has shaped my perspective ever since.

In early college, roommates and I lamented the supposed dearth of eligible partners in the dating scene. When peers sustained relationships, I’d shake my head and say, “they’re stealing from the sex pot,” as though, like a soup special on a cold day, our campus could just run out of love.

Last year, a yoga teacher and I showed up for a filming project and both felt under the weather. By mid-afternoon, I’d recovered; “I used up all the good vibes when you needed it most!” I joked. She (kindly) reminded me that there is an infinite source of healing for all.

This isn’t exactly what I thought I’d confront as I embarked on YJ’s month-long challenge to practice a chakra meditation every day. Finding calm? Sure. Less stress? Looked forward to that. Spiritual ecstasy? If I’m lucky, great—but not a must. Instead, it was time to take a look at my internal space-time continuum.

See also YJ’s March Meditation Challenge Will Help You Stick to a Steady Practice

Learn more about a chakra meditation and how to start a 31-day challenge as well. 

Balancing the Chakras

The 31-day challenge began without ceremony on New Year’s Day in Brussels, where my partner and I were visiting family. I sat in the unmade guest bed, welcomed a purring Chartreux voluntarily curled up in my lap, and fired up a 20-minute guided chakra meditation from legendary Tantra teacher Sally Kempton.

New to chakras? Here’s a quick primer: Chakras are whirling forces of subtle energy associated with different aspects of the physical, emotional, and spiritual bodies. There are 7 (of many more) chakras primarily taught in yoga, and this is what they stand for:

Muladhara (Root): Earth, security, home, finances

Svadhisthana (Sacral): Water, creativity, sexuality

Manipura (Solar Plexus): Fire, sense of self

Anahata (Heart): Air, love

Visuddha (Throat): Space, communication from the heart’s truth

Ajna (Third Eye): Light, intuition

Sahasrara (Crown): Bliss, divine connection

(You can get sucked into learning more about the chakras here.)

They are strung along the sushumna nadi, a central channel of life force that runs from the base of the spine through the crown of the head. The idea is that balancing the chakras—by focusing breath, mantras (sounds), yantras (shapes), imagery, and colors in their respective locations along this totem—allows you to access this sacred streak of energy.

When I asked Sally about what happens when (and if) you open the central channel, she dangled a taste of nonduality. In Tantra, reality is a universe in which everyone is one with the divine. “You can become aware that your body is a formless, vast undulating center full of light and bliss,” she said. “It’s a fairly dramatic experience.” 

It all sounds esoteric, so I wouldn’t expect everyone to embrace it. But I’d microdosed on chakra practices for over 15 years, so I was ready to dive in. When I was 20, I found a random chakra book in my East Village sublet and journaled a root chakra affirmation that resonated: “I am safe, I trust in the natural flow of life, I take my natural place in the world content in the knowledge that all I need will come to me in the right time and place.” Years later, within the context of a vigorous flow, Seane Corn presented the chakras as a psychological roadmap for growth. 

Then I met Tantra and Kriya masters Alan and Sarah Finger, who truly brought the chakras to light and offered concrete techniques to harmonize them. They also answered a good question: How do you actually locate a chakra? For me, bija (seed) mantras were the entry point; if I focused enough, repeating the staccato sounds (such as lam for the root chakra) help me trace a pulse in a specific location (pelvic floor). 

Even so, beaming awareness and imagery to ambiguous areas in my body required concentration and good faith. As a result, the neurotic part of my brain didn’t focus on the usual storylines: deadlines, challenges, or omg how much time is left in this meditation?! I was lulled by the mantras’ vibrations, and all the visualizations inspired my imagination—a boon for anyone who spends too much time in Type-A territory.

There was a misstep when I first imagined elements—earth, water, fire, space, light, bliss—associated with each chakra. Before Brussels, I’d traveled to Rome, so my mind conjured scenes from the Colosseum: snarled roots in its underbelly; water rising in the amphitheater… I quickly decided not to instill scenes from such an infamous space.

Instead I coaxed meaningful imagery: Strong roots holding up the mermaid-like mahogany trees I’d seen on Costa Rica’s Osa Peninsula; emerald lakes tucked into rarely trekked valleys of the Sierra Nevada that I’d swam in; the pulse of my apartment stove’s burner enacting a flame in my belly; a tiny flame on a stick of palo santo in my heart center. A Magritte sky in my throat, leading to a golden hour light spilling in from my third eye and crown.

Watch also: What, Exactly, Are the Chakras? Alan Finger Explains

The real test came later in the month, when my schedule packed up.

How the Chakras Created Space in My Body, Mind… and Life

Right away things shifted. I was still on holiday when my coworkers began trickling back into the office. Although I still checked my email—it may take a year of meditation to bust that habit—I didn’t feel my heart pound as they came in. I felt freedom as I visited museums, enjoyed the art nouveau architecture, and connected with family.

Instead of seeking the usual alone time when I returned to New York, I invited good friends over for dinner and king cake. Once I resumed the grind, that vacation halo lasted longer than usual. Each meditation felt like it was literally emptying me of clutter and fog, leaving me with clarity.

The real test came later in the month, when my schedule packed up. I prepared for an upcoming filming in another state. I assisted a week-long yoga training that lasted from early morning until evening, and then came home to complete the day’s work. Oh, and a friend from California came to stay with me.

Even for someone who doesn’t easily get overwhelmed, a lot was going on. And it would have been my default to shut out my friend, worry my way through the training, or just operate from the adrenaline.

There’s a pop culture adage that we all have the same amount of time in a day as Beyoncé. Maybe her secret is chakra meditations, because as I found space in my practice, my life opened up. I didn’t have to turn anything down, yet I didn’t feel resentful saying yes. All that inward focus cultivated a strong sense of embodiment. I could be present without losing my wits (or myself) in the process.

When the subway literally broke one morning before training, I didn’t agonize that I’d be late. I calmly walked 20 minutes to the nearest bus route, emailed my teacher, and meditated. (I showed up on time anyway.)

See also This is the Reason I Take the Subway 45 Minutes Uptown to Work Out - Even Though There's a Gym On My Block

During the training, I knocked over a tripod and it came crashing down during a calming restorative practice. I froze with horror; attempting to melt into my mat was futile. Shit happens, and I was grateful for a makeshift chakra meditation in that moment to move past embarrassment.

I felt peace in this chaotic schedule and could summon an abundance of presence, making deep connections with students at the training, laughing with my good friend at midnight, being kinder to my partner, and, most importantly, tending to myself. 

It may sound odd that I “allowed” myself these basic needs and simple pleasures, but it’s true: In the past, the weight of a to-do list or a lot of social obligations meant I didn’t have room for myself. I may not have experienced the splendor of the infinite universe (yet!), but this meditation expanded time and space so I could register the divine moments every day.  

I started my days with a cup of coffee on the sofa and read instead of clacking away at emails. I prepared an egg and avocado breakfast. I stole moments to enjoy the way the low winter sun lit the pastel buildings in Soho.

See also This is Your Brain on Meditation

from Yoga Journal https://ift.tt/2HwOoTi

[kroncreative-blog]

Top 10 Saviours of 2016

I’d like to start off 2017 by taking a brief trip down the 2016 section of memory lane. 

2016 was a mind trip of a year. From the stacks of shocking political moves, across the globe, to the sheer number of legends taken from us, this year has been a lot.  On a personal level, the trials and tribulations of the year were made a little easier because I started dabbling in a little self care. It wasn’t a conscious decision: it just kinda happened. Some of my fav artists dropped gems, lost a little weight, started sleeping a little more. These all helped pull me through. They were so helpful in fact that I am bringing some into 2017. So here is a list of my top 10 saviours of 2016. 1. Lemonade by Beyoncé Unless, it has not yet been made clear, I am a HUGE Beyoncé fan.  This album and accompanying film was easily one of the highlights of my life never mind year. The album itself is a stunning showcase of Beyoncé’s range and ability - not that we needed any more reminding. ‘Freedom’ and ‘Sorry’ are two of my personal favourites from the album. The visual element of this album is simply beautiful. The way Warsan Shire’s words and the imagery were weaved together was just out of this world.  One of my absolute favourite things about this Bey project though? Was seeing the joy and elevation it brought to the Black women in my life and those I follow online. It was genuinely a heart warming thing to see.  2. ANTI by Rihanna The release of Rihanna’s eighth album at the top of the year was an absolute delight.  One of the highlights of this album was actually the way the album was promoted. The launch of ANTIdiaRy in November and all of the rooms really helped build up hype which this album DEFINITELY followed up on. “Higher”,  “Love on the Brain” and “Kiss it Better” are my jams.  A particular shout out to the opening track “Consideration” with SZA. The way their vocals merge together is like honey.  This album really made me feel like Rihanna is an artist who even with eight studio albums behind her has not yet peaked.  3. Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin Embarrassingly, despite having a degree in English Lit, 2016 was the first time I had picked up this book by Baldwin. And flipping heck! Why this book is not taught as part of the school curriculum is a down right mystery to me.  The way Baldwin writes is simply astounding. In Giovanni’s Room he deals with the complexities of David’s relationship with Giovanni and others around him in such a palpable way. His articulation of David’s immersion in French culture, his love for Giovanni and in particular Giovanni’s love for David are highly emotive. I felt as if I was going through these experiences with David. Such is the capability of Baldwin.  “I thought of the people before me who had looked down at the river and gone to sleep beneath it. I wondered about them. I wondered how they had done it--it, the physical act. I simply wondered about the dead because their days had ended and I did not know how I would get through mine.”  4. 6,741, S05E04, Person of Interest I could, and perhaps at some point will write an entire in depth blog post on this exhilarating episode, but it was too important to miss out of this list. This was one of the most highly anticipated episodes of this season as it marked the return of Sameen Shaw (played by Sarah Shahi). 

6741 is a mind bender and mirrors the episode If-Then-Else which marked Shahi’s temporary departure from the show.  The way this episode was directed by Chris Fisher and written by Lucas O’Connor and Denise Thé and the concept of it is just phenomenal. Also shout out to Shahi’s fantastic acting skills which heightened the impact of this highly emotive hour of tv. One of the most beautiful aspects of it was the exploration of the depth of Shaw’s feelings for Root. The use of simulation to expose the audience to this was not only creative AF but inline with Shaw’s type II personality disorder.  “Do you know where we are? What they did to me? The torture? I told you I couldn’t escape it. But when things got to be too bad there was one place I would go to in my mind. Here. With you. You were my safe place.” 5. Grayish Black by Devyn Springer I received this poetry collection as a present from a good friend. And my days! What a present it turned out to be.  Everything about this poetry collection is stunning. The cover is black which is intentional. “Your fingerprints are all over this book now. It is all you can see across all the cover.” There is something about this notion that personalises the collection straight away and immediately makes it feel more intimate.  Something which builds upon this intimacy, is the photographs. When I first flicked through, the photographs took me surprise. I don’t think I’ve ever seen photographs in a poetry collection before. There’s also photocopies of some of Springer’s poetry/stream of consciousness/drawings which again add to the intimacy of this collection. The actual poetry though? I found it to be very raw and extremely evocative. There were a few instances where I had to close the book and set it down and come back to it later because the feelings brought to the surface were just too much (in a good way). But such is the power of Springer’s writing. Just so damn beautiful and breathtakingly honest. Again this is probably another piece where I will have to do an in depth blog post just to encourage people to go out and buy this piece and read it. 

“It seems all of the things I hate about myself have latched their claws into my skin, planted seeds in my bone marrow,  built hones in between my ribs, and decided to stay for a while.” 6. Dreamland by Mic Righteous This is one of my many musical highlights of 2016. Not only because I have been waiting for this album for the longest time but because it was entirely worth the wait. Straight out of Margate, Mic Righteous has an undeniable talent. His flow is effortless and his wordplay is genius. And his storytelling ability is insane. Every track on this album tells a story, just a tiny segment of different aspects of his journey. Highlighting his difficult childhood in Margate to his outsider status in the UK Scene.

This album also has a strong set of accompanying videos. Not every track has a video but some of my personal favourites are the passion filled ‘Gone’, party vid, ‘I Turn Up’ and the highly personal ‘Kids’. Stand out tracks are ‘All Dressed Up’ and anthem ‘Tempo of the Dance’. This is an album that you’ll just have to check it out for yourself. 

“My family don't get why I'm dead broke I'm deffo on my arse I guess that's the tempo of the dance I'm certain of my future like a psychic read a palm Maybe it's the patience that's ringin' red alarms I don't wanna see a sceptic have the last laugh Nearly spent seven years to perfect my every part Thinkin' of my examples and I don't get very far Because not many of them last or achieve What they set out from the start Selling out, dwellin' on what could be I live to prove people wrong because they overlook me I live to see my son smile, father livin' cushty” 

7. The Friendzone Podcast Hosted by Dustin, Assanté and Fran, this is one of my favourite podcasts and it’s one that just keeps getting better and better.  As is no secret to anyone, 2016 was hard. But this endearing yet hilarious podcast was something that helped keep me grounded and not get too consumed by the nonsense of this year.  This podcast is primarily concerned with “mental health, mental wellness and mental hygiene because who in the hell wants a musty brain?” Every weekend brings a wellness segment brought to you by Fran of Hey Fran Hey fame which aims to help you increase your wellness. One of the coolest things about this wellness segment is that everything that is recommended is trusted and used personally by Fran. Not only that the segment is well informed providing scientific research where necessary. Some of the things I have incorporated from the show are Palo Santo, weighted blankets, journal work and the Forest Productivity app.  Assanté is the musical maestro bringing us musical recommendations and has put me onto some flames music including Isaiah Rashad and Xavier Omär. His vulnerability adds an extra layer of familiarity to the show. 

Dustin. Sir Dustin is a law unto himself and keeps the show real and hilarious. His speciality segment is reality tv. Every week he gives the lowdown on shows such as Married to Medicine Atlanta and the Real Housewives franchise. His knowledge is encyclopaedic. Also the intro freestyle every week has a special place in my heart. Its literally lit every week and I haven’t heard a dud one yet.  8. Coloring Book by Chance The Rapper Listen. I was BEYOND hype about ‘Chance 3′ since I first heard ‘Ultralight Beam’. Which was also a freaking bop! It was so much of a bop in fact that I am yet to listen to the rest of TLOP. And my favourite part about it was Chance’s verse. Anyway, back to Coloring Book.

Coloring Book is beyond amazing. I am in love with the mixtape, the cover, Chance’s voice, the beats, the production, EVERYTHING. Chance even had me singing along with Bieber in ‘Juke Jam’.

Even though I’m not a Christian I really love the Gospel influence and features on the mixtape. Although the presence of Gospel in Hip-Hop/Rap is not new, I feel like Chance really elevated it. And his level of faith is inspiring.  Every single track is astounding. And to be honest, I know that I’m going to be listening to this for a very long time. I also know that there are not enough words for me to do this mixtape justice.  9. The Good Immigrant edited by Nikesh Shukla With Brexit and the election of Donald Trump largely played to the tune of ‘fear the foreigner’ 2016 has taken a toll on this particular second generation immigrant.  Just when the rhetoric of British Values began to feel like almost like a vaguely defined threat, this little gem came along. This collection of 21 essays hit me right in the heart. These essays represent and validate the breadth of the experience of immigrants in this here United Kingdom. The blurb boldly asks “What’s it like to live in a country that doesn’t trust you and doesn’t want you unless you won an Olympic gold medal or a national baking competition?” Although it is worth noting that even these people have been exempt from racism.  Anyway, pretty much every essay in this book was relatable and made me feel some form of validation and acceptance. One essay which resonated with me deeply in particular is ‘Going Home’ by Kieran Yates. Yates details her perspective of the British Asian experience and learning how to navigate society, family and personal spaces and all the spaces within these spaces. The difficulties which sometimes arise like the ability to make a round roti. Yates highlights how she doesn’t feel a split between her Indian culture and British culture when she can take the best bits of both. “But for me, there is no neat duality; no neatly sliced elements of my identity that are in opposition. There is no hollow insecurity about rootlessness because these additional details and stories I’ve learned are additions to our identity, not losses.” This is something that took mea long time to realise and I’m still learning to be entirely honest.

10. The Get Down, Netflix Oh My Goodness. 

This series yeah? This series is already one of my fav tv shows ever.  Anyone, who knows me, knows I love Hip-Hop. This musical series loosely explores the origins of this spectacular and beautiful art form including, DJing, Graffiti, B-Boying and of course rap. It stars Justice Smith, Shameik Moore and Jaden Smith. The show was created by Baz Luhrmann and Stephen Adly Guirgis. I can’t lie, as soon as I heard Luhrmann’s name I was sceptical. I mean I love Moulin Rouge and his adaptation of Romeo and Juliet but I wasn’t sure how this would translate to 70s South Bronx. I was wrong, this series is visually gorgeous.  The raps in this series are largely written by Nas. Not only does this make the series feel more genuine but it made me fall in love with Nas’s own discography again. It also reminded me of the poetic nature and roots of Hip-Hop. There is a scene of Zeke’s teacher reciting one of his pieces to him in the opening episode and it is just breath taking. One of my favourite things about this series though, even though it deals with some really heavy social issues, it is infectiously hopeful. It can’t help but inspiring hope and looking forward. I feel like, in the coming months, this is something we will all need more of.