#and this is the platonic ideal of lis tbh!!! so wonderful

[penthepoet]

we gladly feast on those who would subdue us

( lycoris hoard comm by @marudyne! thank you so dearly for rendering this hungry pack of monsters! )

[twyisontheline]

Now this caused such a domino reaction in me and triggered a whole text post about one of my headcanons. So, headcanon talk! If you are interested in some angst and some aroace Alastor, keep reading.

I know i am overthinking a little cute animatic BUT hear me out. Aside from how i adore Alastor's expressions in this. This is perfect for one of the flavours of Radiostatic i didn't write my hc about yet.

So i guess the lyrics originally are meant in the classic allo "I am not in love with you yet but i can see it happen, maybe" but what if we have internal-angst-about-his-aromanticism!Alastor here.

Alastor has never felt romantic attraction or feelings towards someone, in his human life or demonic death-life-whatever. Now, with how strong amatonormativity is, he did try. He knew (thought) he was supposed to. It never worked. He reached the conclusion that he is fucked up. When he starts killing people, it almost makes sense - he is a psychopath, he is fucked up, that must be related to not being able to love how other people do. How his mother would want him to love. He feels shame and guilt, even if he tries to push it all back down and tell himself that others are weak because they feel so desperate with their love interests and it is something he would never want. And it is something he doesn't want. But society tells him it is something that makes one's life complete and makes you happy and fulfilled and he wonders. Is he broken in a way that prevents him from experiencing something that could be amazing?

Then he dies, and overall, life gets kinda easier. In the whole depravity and anguish and fucked-upness of Hell, there isn't an ideal happiness to wonder about. There isn't a society wanting you to marry and have kids and be normal and quaint. He can embrace being fucked up.

Then he meets Vox. And slowly, but surely, the TV Demon finds a place in his heart. It's not unusual - Alastor did feel affection and platonic love for people before, he knows he is able to feel that. And it has never been an issue that he doesn't feel romantic love, since none of his friends has ever really wanted that kind of relationship with him.

Until it becomes an issue. Until he realizes that Vox has feelings for him. Feelings that are romantic. That kind of love that he, Alastor, is not able to feel. And this opens the wound again. His fucked-upness could very well make him lose Vox. He doesn't want to lose their friendship - Vox gets him and spending time with him is pleasurable in an unique and special way, and no one else gives him that kind of joy.

So he thinks: "I can make myself love him." He forced himself to be many things in his life and death, he won't let a weakness, a fault, a lack-of-ability, mess up with his goals and with what he wants. He is not the weak powerless boy he once was in life. He is a powerful Overlord. He takes what he wants. If learning to feel romantic love is what he needs to do to obtain what he wants, he'll do it.

So he tries, and lies to himself a bunch of times in the process, but he has a lot of insight in this headcanon, he knows himself pretty well, so he knows, deep down, he is failing. And he sees it as that: a failure. So the mix of shame and guilt that is reappearing like an emotional flashback of his human days mixes with the shame of not being able to do something. Of being powerless in front of his own faults.

Fluff ensuring after all the angst could be that he finally confesses all this to Vox in a mental breakdown scenario - cause we know Alastor loves to freak out dramatically when he feels powerless - and Vox is like: "Man, calm down, it's not that big of a deal. I am not exactly thrilled at the idea you don't reciprocate my feelings but the idea you have to fake stuff with me and you tried so hard to be something you are not is even more upsetting. …Plus kinda flattering, tbh, but let's not digress. What i am saying is, you don't have to do it. I am not going to end our friendship over it."

(And idk, Vox has some vague-time-appropriate knowledge about queerness that is more than Alastor has, because Vox is queer and unlike Alastor who doesn't register most of Sinners as not-entertaining-enough and avoids any place that has a even remotely sexual-relatedness, he actually goes out and talks to people and did talk to people while figuring out he was queer. So we can insert here a speech by Vox about sexual/romantic orientation not being an illness etc etc with a bit of backstory about Vox being queer in the fifties too.)

AGHH I FINALLY FINISHED THIS AND POSTED IT ON TIKTOK! if this flops im reposting without the cinema-like effect but HJSJSJSJSDKD PLS GO CHECK MY TT OUT CUZ I PLAN TO MAKE MORE ANIMATICS LIKE THIS IN THE FUTURE!

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

[vampiringg]

I have fic, it's already one ao3 but here ya go anyways

The Ultimate Wingman

Summary: Nico goes to Kayla for help on asking out Will, forming two relationships - platonic or not - within the Apollo cabin

No warnings :D

I wrung my hands as I walked across Camp's grounds. This couldn't go too badly… right? The worst that could happen was that he'd say no - then he'd tell everyone I was gay and they'd all hate me and think I was weird and those that I could actually call friends would abandon me and -!

"Ugh!" I said aloud, kicking the dirt. The girl that I had been looking for, Kayla Knowles, spun around. Her short ginger and green hair whipped her face and the quiver on her back slid to the right.

"Oh, hey Nico," she greeted with a smile once she got over the shock.

"Uh, hi," I mumbled. 

"What is it? You seem… stressed," she commented.

"What? No, I'm not stressed," I lied. Her eyebrows creeped up.

"Oh really? I might not be any Will Solace but -" she stopped. I hoped desperately that the warmness of my cheeks wasn't showing. By the looks of it, however, I was more red than Rachel Dare's hair. She set her bow down and pulled off the quiver. Kayla seemed to be torn between smirking and being as kind as possible.

"I believe you wanted to talk to me?"

Oh, how easy it would be to say 'no' and walk away, my secrets still kept to my chest. But that would accomplish nothing. Besides, it wasn't as bad as telling Will. At least if I talked to Kayla it wasn't completely sure Will would ever find out what a loser I was.

"I - I… yes," I said, staring at the ground.

"Would you call it an… important matter?" She was definitely smirking; I could hear it in her voice. I glared at her red converse. I swear this girl lived in bright colours. "Ooh," She giggled before clearing her throat. "Sorry, I've been spending too much time around Lacy." I didn't know or care who Lacy was, though I assumed she was a daughter of Aphrodite, judging by the behaviour Kayla had leeched off her. I hoped I never had the misfortune to meet Lacy, as even this interaction with Kayla had just about killed me - or maybe it was just the circumstances.

"So," she said, jumping up to sit on the table she had just put her bow on. "What is it that you need me, of all people, for?"

"Well -"

"Sit down first," she interrupted, patting the table space next to her. She moved the bow as if it were made of glass and not a weapon made for killing. I hesitated before climbing up. (And, yes, I had to climb up. Nico di Angelo, son of Hades, was too short to get up on a table that even the smallest kid in the Apollo cabin could effortlessly jump onto.) Her bluebelle eyes held the smile that she was repressing. 

"Now we're all cozy -" I shuffled away from her. "Tell me whatcha problem is." I didn't answer straight away. In fact, I didn't answer at all. I just kinda stared over to Camp, occasionally stealing glances to cabin 7. Discreetly, of course, or Kayla might start taking after Lacy again.

Suddenly, she hit my arm. I looked at her, a mixture of surprised and offended.

"There was a mosquito," she shrugged with an innocent smile.

"I hate you," I muttered so quietly I thought she wouldn't hear. But damn these Apollo kids, with their hearing that was too good, even for a demigod.

"That's kind of you,"

"How did you even -?"

"Hear you? Please, dad's the god of music n' stuff, we can't be tone deaf - well, maybe Will is -" she definitely paused just to see my reaction this time. I was disappointed in my inability to control my own blushing. The smirk reappeared on her face. "And he's also the god of prophecy, so I'd like to say that I have a pretty good idea of what's going on around here." I sighed, staring up at the sky. It was fun to imagine Zeus burning up there but I couldn't sink into childhood daydreams right now.

"I know you know -"

"I know I know, too," she said. I glared at her before looking back up.

"So just say it,"

Her smile widened before it disappeared. Shaking her head, she said something completely unexpected,

"This isn't my place to speak. You need to tell me, if you want to,"

I paused, momentarily confused by this sudden change. She smiled a genuine smile, her freckled cheeks faintly pink.

"If it makes you feel any better, I've had a crush on Lou Ellen for, like, ever,"

"Really?" I asked before I could stop myself. She nodded, the amber to green colouring of her hair made it look like traffic lights, her face was also red, making it even more pronounced.

"Well… I guess…" I groaned. "We're going anonymous, here. I have a - I have a crush on one of your half-siblings, right? And I need your help." She grinned. 

"Well, good thing we're both amateurs -"

"How is that a good thing?"

"Shh, di Angelo," she placed a finger to my lips. "It's rude to interrupt a genius at work."

"You're not a genius and you've interrupted me, like, 4 -"

"3," she corrected, then paused, rolling her eyes at herself. "Now it's 4 times."

"Whatever! I just need to find out if Wi - someone in your cabin likes me back!"

"You could just… ask?" she offered.

"No!" I cried, aghast. She racked her brain for another option.

"What d'you like to do, then?" Kayla asked. I looked at her quizzically.

"Raise the dead,"

"Maybe something more… normal," she said. "No offence but an army of skeletons isn't the way to ask someone out."

"Uhh," 

"You literally never leave your cabin. What do you do in there all day? Stare at the wall?"

"Yeah, basically," I shrugged. She seemed taken aback.

"You have a sword, right? What if you challenge him to a sword fight? You know, then get talking after?"

"That could work… I guess…" I mumbled.

"Then it's settled," she said, grabbing my wrist and jumping off the table.

"What're you - no. No no no no no! You cannot -" my foot caught and I ended up with a face full of grass.

"Good thinking! Will - I mean, my siblings like healing! Did you sprain your ankle?"

"I think so," I replied, tenderly poking the injury. "But the last time I was in the infirmary-"

"Will got really pissed because you left before your three days were up? I know. So now you can make up for it!" she said, dragging me along behind her.

"William!" she screamed through the Apollo cabin door.

"What?" Will opened the door, glowing in the fading sunlight.

"I've got a visitor!" she giggled before practically throwing me inside. "Good chat, Neeks!" Kayla slammed the door, leaving us in the empty cabin.

"Uh, what was all that about?" he asked, still staring at the door as he held his hand out. I hesitated before pulling myself up.

"I sprained my ankle," I replied, my voice an octave higher than usual.

"Oh," Will said and pointed at a bed. I sat on the edge of it, my toes grazing the floor. He walked over, his blond hair bobbing with his bouncy step, which was accompanied with the clapping sound of flip flops. He finished a Red Bull, crushing the can and throwing it over his shoulder, where it flawlessly landed in the bin. How hot can you get? 

He gently pulled off my black sneakers - I hoped my feet didn't smell. He prodded around the ankle and I winced in pain.

"Yeah, sprained, all right," he said. It was too quiet, I could hear his breathing. He pulled out an ice pack and wrapped it around my foot. "So, er, you're free to go, I guess." I nodded and replaced my shoe. I limped to the door before turning around.

"I was wondering if you'd, uh, if you'd like to… meet me in the - what's it called?- in the, um, arena tomorrow?" I stuttered.

"Sure," Will grinned. He couldn't be blushing, it was probably just the light. "What time?"

"Um, you pick," I said, not wanting to feel like a control freak.

"Will 11 do?" he asked.

"Of course," I replied. Truth was, I didn't usually get up until then, so I'd have to remember to set an alarm. Or tell Kayla and she'd come bounding into my room and 3 am for 'preparations'.

"See you there," he said. I nodded and left.

***

"Did it work? It worked, right?" Kayla practically yelled, jumping out from behind a bush.

"Yeah! It actually worked!" I answered just as loudly, unable to contain my enthusiasm. She gasped.

"What time are you gonna have the sword fight?" 

I cursed in Greek.

"I forgot to mention the swords!"

"Never mind, you have a sprained ankle anyway," she said, then hopped up and down excitedly. "See? I'm the ultimate wingman! You're going on a date!"

"It's not a date!" I corrected her, though I secretly hoped it was.

"Whatever you say, Neeks," she shrugged. I was too happy to tell her not to call me that.

"But what should I wear?" I asked. 

"Hmm," she mused. "Not the same as today… I'll need to see your wardrobe." She marched off to cabin 13, me in tow.

"Do you own anything that's not black?" Kayla grumbled, throwing yet another skull t shirt onto the bed. "Anyone'd think you're going to a funeral every day of the year."

"Uh," I squinted at a shirt. "That one's… dark grey," She held it up and raised an eyebrow. "... very, very dark grey."

"It's black," she sighed. "Anyhow, it'll have to do. At least it doesn't have a skull on."

"Who knows, maybe Will likes skulls and skeletons?" I shrugged. Kayla snorted.

"Tbh, he could probably name every bone in your body,"

"What the Hades does tbh mean?" I questioned and she grinned.

"Sometimes I forget that you're from, like, ages ago. Times like now, though…"

"Just tell me what it means," I growled as a skeletal hand broke the black carpet. 

"Um, it means to be honest," she answered, her voice squeaky.

"Oh… thanks," the hand retreated back into the ground. "Sorry, I guess."

"Don't worry 'bout it," Kayla shrugged. "Just lemme watch the date first."

My face went red. I was so close to summoning another skeleton to drag her into the depths of the Underworld.

I lay in bed, too nervous to sleep. What if it didn't work out? What if he hated me? What if - oh, the horrors - he was straight? I mean, I had nothing against straights. Most of my friends were (supposedly) straight. Still, when you're tryna ask a guy out, him being straight is not ideal. At all. I rolled over and punched my pillow. I needed sleep. I already had eye bags, I didn't need yet another sleepless night to look even more trashy. I could hardly breathe on my stomach but it, at least, served as a distraction. I mused over shadow travelling across the room and back, just so I would pass out. It was unnecessary, though, as I did (eventually) get to sleep.

"Nico," I vaguely registered someone whispering in my ear. "Nico. Nico. Wake up," they inhaled. I just managed to brace myself, realising what they were going to do. "NICO!" Still, I stumbled out of bed and fell to the floor.

"What?" I hissed at Kayla. She grinned, having successfully screamed in my ear.

"Date,"

About a hundred thoughts passed through my mind at once. Through the jumble, I managed one question.

"What's the time?"

"8, which gives 3 hours to go over your strategy," she answered.

"Strategy? I don't need a strategy," I said.

"Yes, you do. Besides, I've been talking everything through with Lacy last night,"

"How did you even meet? She's, like, two years younger than you,"

"Maybe if you actually left your cabin -"

"Point taken,"

"Drink it," Kayla instructed, pushing a glass into my hand.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Poison," she said, rolling her eyes. "Water, dumbass. Now, drink." I downed it and wiped my mouth on my wrist. There were a few moments of silence before Kayla stood up, grabbing me by the wrist.

"C'mon, Ghostie, let's take you to the arena to find lover boy,"

"Wh - what? Aren't we early?"

"Will's always early, it'll be a surprise," she replied. I nodded and followed her out, trying to resist the urge to sprint, adopt a new identity and forget this whole not-date.

*** 

I never would have thought I'd end up standing behind a bush with Kayla Knowles whilst Will Solace waited for me, yet here I was.

"Don't mess up the eyeliner," she said. "Or Lacy will kill me." I tried to reply, but no sound came out. She smiled lopsidedly, like she understood anyway.

"You'll do great," she inhaled then patted my head. "Will totally loves you."

"I - I - he -" I stuttered. 

"Trust me," Kayla said, grasping my hand, her bitten nails lightly scratching me. She pulled me into a hug from there. I tensed momentarily before doing the same.

"Thanks," I said into her shoulder. "Maybe I could be the ultimate wingman for your date with Lou Ellen."

"Isn't she with Cecil, though?"

"Eh," I shrugged. "I can… arrange something." She pulled back, laughing.

"Will will be lucky to have you, di Angelo. Now, go get him!" She pushed me out from our hiding space.

Will spin around, a grin forming on his face. His camp tank top exposed his golden shoulders, which glowed in the sunlight. He obviously had had some assistance too, as he was wearing jeans and not beach shorts two sizes too big.

"You're early," he laughed; a short melodic note.

"Then what are you?" I retorted good-naturedly.

"Hmm, fair point. But do you like my shoes?" he pointed at his black crocs. "I thought you'd like the colour."

"Oh, yeah, get me some," I said sarcastically.

"Sure!" Will said, his white teeth shining.

"That was a joke, Solace! A joke! I do not want black crocs!"

"Suit yourself," he shrugged. "Now, do you wanna sit down somewhere?"

"Thought you'd never ask,"

[carbootsoul]

erika+ephriam+lyon for ask game 👀? and a witch hat character of your choosing if you like as well :3v

omg clint you're spoiling me :) also this is mostly unrelated but i was listening to kat flint today and a) her music is so good thank u for introducing it to me years ago and b) VERY witch hat atelier vibes which was fun. im putting my answers under a cut bc i am sooo verbose about characters

eirika: a song that reminds me of them: this is just the first that came to mind but oh what a world by rufus wainwright! oh what a world my parents gave me / always traveling but not in love. the rly interesting mix of idealism and pragmatism that she embodies- both being in awe of and in love with the world and the people in it but also not hesitating to accept that they are in a war and the tragedies that come with it what they smell like: i think for most of the game she smells like sweat and dirt an otp: eirika and l'arachel is actually the best ship in the whole entire world they're sooo funny. they keep meeting and every time eirika is like ???? and l'arachel is just falling head over heels in love a notp: eirika and lyon romance honestly very textually relevant in the game and adds to the story and whatever but they're both so absolutely homosexual that i can't conceptualize it favorite platonic/familial relationships: eirika and ephraim 🥺🥺 but also eirika and seth he's such a good big brother figure!! but also eirika and colm and eirika and tana and eirika and lyon. it's like.. rag tag army as family.. a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: there are like two posts about her on tumblr dot com but her fire emblem heroes characterization makes me insane shut up about your brother shut up about your brother the position they sleep in: on her side one leg curled to her chest

ephraim a song that reminds me of them: omg lies by marina abt his relationship with lyon. you're too proud to say that you made a mistake / you're a coward till the end i really wish we had been able to see more of ephraims reaction to the true story of what happened with lyon, since he obviously forgives him but also seems to be angry about it and that's such a good dynamic. also oc can't let you go / i just want it to be perfect / to believe it's all been worth the fight. they make me... ugh what they smell like: he has also been living in tents for months so he probably also smells like horses and sweat an otp: ephraim and lyon do get to me... 🥺 also he and innes as a like teenage fling is hilarious to me they're so funny to each other i can't believe they don't have supports a notp: if i ever see another incest joke i'm killing someone favorite platonic/familial relationships: he and his sister are so good!! they're so siblings! a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: again i have never rly interacted with the fe fandom but something from canon i disagree with is the assignment of the sun to him and the moon to his sister he is so obviously the lunar twin im furious abt this the position they sleep in: absolutely sprawled out. he takes up as much space as is given to him

lyon a song that reminds me of them: ache with me by against me just happened to be playing rn but it's very him. do you share the same sense of defeat / have you realized all the things you'll never be / ideals turn to resentment, open minds close up with cynicism / i've got no judgement for you / come on and ache with me. what they smell like: roses but in a fucked up revolutionary girl utena way like the roses symbolize something sinister an otp: lyon and ephraim.. admittedly lyon is kind of carrying why this ship is compelling with his tragic backstory but ephraim is such a boy so he's important too a notp: see eirika :/ favorite platonic/familial relationships: he and eirika and ephraim as a unit are so important to me they are so [unintelligible] a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: i haven't rly seen this much but i guess any tendency to soft-boy him bc of his character design like this guy sucks a lot and he has a lot of flaws that almost ended the world :/ the position they sleep in: hugging a pillow

and for the wha character.. agott bc she's so girl :) a song that reminds me of them: pretty little things by the crane wives! but trust is now something i make people earn / so i'm not inclined to just give it away / to a pair of blue eyes with some nice things to say what they smell like: grass in the best way possible! an otp: she and coco are SO !! im in love with them. sasunaru dynamic but better in every way. all the panels of coco hugging or complimenting agott and agott blushing furiously are the new wonders of the world. shipping kids in media always feels a little weird but i think they're a rly cute like first crush dynamic a notp: i dont think she's been shipped with anyone else lol favorite platonic/familial relationships: agott and olruggio are rly interesting to me! i've probably just drawn lines between them because they're both grumpy but i could definitely see agott becoming for coco what olruggio is for qifrey and i love when children are friends with their adult narrative foil it's about helping the younger generation overcome the things that they couldn't! it's also about olruggio being able to connect with agott because they're both grumpy :) a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: not a headcanon bc again the fandom is tiny but so much of her tag is ppl being mean to her about what she did in the second (?) volume like yeah that was mean but she's like 12! 12 year olds do fucked up stuff all the time they're still learning what interpersonal relationships are the position they sleep in: on her stomach clutching her pillow a crossover au i’d love to see them in: anything that would allow her to say swear words my favorite outfit they’ve ever worn: the like single panel where tetia is getting mad at her about not liking wearing costumes and it shows her dressed as a prince! she looks so good

djskflj i feel like i wrote a novel about each of them and tbh i do not know if u will make any sense out of it but thank u for sending this it was super fun to think about them for a while!!!

[almaasi]

yoooooooooo, I’m in need of a beta (or betas) for my Garak/Bashir fics since all my usual proofreaders are busy.

summaries/warnings for 4 completed fics are listed under the cut. total word count is 111k+. all are rated ‘explicit’ except for one ‘mature’.

my previous fics are here if you want to know how I write.

preferably I’m looking for someone who can beta all of them, and more fics that come after this, but anyone who can do a one-off is cool too. I definitely want someone who’s good at suggesting things in the name of intersectional feminism and reader sensitivity! or just questioning things and commenting in general. catching typos or confusing sentences would be a huge bonus but that’s not my priority~

please share this with people you think might be interested!!!

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fics listed longest first, not necessarily the ideal posting order. some of these have been lightly or partially beta’d already.

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1. The Wolf Who Cried Doctor

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir, Julian Bashir & Ezri Dax

55k, Explicit

Garak is certain: any day now, Julian will discover that the most frequent visitor to DS9’s Infirmary has been going out of his way to fake, cause, and invite harm unto himself in order to gain his dear doctor’s attention. Garak cheerfully tells his lies with just enough variation to remain interesting, but remains afraid that one day Julian won’t believe him when there’s really something wrong.

But Julian is already aware there’s a problem. And the best treatment for an acute case of touch-starved loneliness, he believes, is to provide Garak with as much physical affection and emotional care as possible. It’s not like Julian couldn’t do with some company himself, given how his relationship with Ezri has been fraying.

But neither Julian nor Garak envisioned what could come of it all. Neither of them ever prepared for bliss.

(A post-canon fic where Garak comes back to DS9 and feelings happen.)

Tags: non-endgame pairing:, Julian Bashir/Ezri Dax, side pairings: Ezri Dax/Kira Nerys, Kira Nerys/Keiko O'Brien/Miles O'Brien, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending, Angst, Self-Harm, Depression, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, (Julian and Garak), Lovers to Friends, (Julian and Ezri), Sharing a Bed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Massage, Holding Hands, First Kiss, Touch-Starved Elim Garak, Lonely Elim Garak, Jealous Elim Garak, Garak is the quadrant’s most melodramatic drama queen, Lonely Julian Bashir, Bisexual Julian Bashir, Julian’s Foot Fetish, Ezri Ships It, Supportive Ezri Dax, Matchmaker Ezri Dax, Love Triangle, except it’s a tangle of lines, Polyamory, Communication is Hard but Vital, Replicator Malfunctions, Space Station Antics, First Time, Bottom Julian Bashir, Top Elim Garak

Warnings: Garak self-harms (nothing gory or graphic - just hot tea + gravity, improper handling of sewing tools, baiting others to use brute force, purposefully ingesting questionable foodstuffs; scars from past cutting) - but for most of the story he doesn’t think his actions are troublesome, merely viewing self-harm as a means to an end to acquire the physical comfort and emotional attention that he craves from Julian. (Disclaimer: I’m aware this is not the only reason real people might self-harm, but it’s Garak’s reason.)

Unspecific suicidal ideation (Julian tells Garak off and Garak’s like “welp! guess I’ll die now”). Both Garak and Julian are wildly depressed and lonely - and I swear that Ezri, the O’Briens, and I are trying our darnedest to rescue them, but they both have a tendency to spiral into a vortex of doom without talking to anyone about it, so it’s not the easiest thing to do. >:|

Foot fetish is mild but... y’know, present. (Oh, Julian.)

Regarding polyamory/love triangle tags (spoilers ahead!): Julian loves Ezri A LOT but doesn’t realise it’s in a platonic friendship way, and privately ties himself in knots over not being sexually or romantically attracted to her anymore (if he ever was to begin with). Much panicking about unintentional cheating happens, because he’s accidentally in love with Garak while dating Ezri - except (more spoilers) Ezri is trying to set him up with Garak anyway. Ezri is totally poly and way more chill than 99% of people would be in her position. Past Kira/Keiko/Miles.

Special note I mentioned to current betas: you should probably know that i feel some sort of divided way about how ezri is SO accepting of julian's disaster sexuality, because a) i've never once seen any character react like that, ever, in anything fictional or real (potentially bc of lack of bi and poly rep), and b) her reactions are based on how i would react in her place??? (note that i'm aro, ace, and bi, (well that's simplified) so if i was in a relationship with julian it would definitely be platonic but me being madly attracted to him despite that) so it's like... really personal but also i'm worried nobody would relate and would say i made her a pushover. so any pointers you have there would be lovely <3

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2. Runabout Rollabout

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir

23.5k, Explicit

Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Keiko O’Brien, Kasidy Yates, Kira Nerys, Ezri Dax (mentioned)

Eight months after the war ends, Julian invites Garak on a pollen-harvesting trip to Bajor. Distracted by the delight of seeing his friend after so long, Garak gets himself blasted with hormone-altering pollen, and is forced to ride out the repercussions on the runabout journey back to DS9. Symptoms include mood swings, unusual food cravings, and an urgent need for emotional assurance and physical contact. Julian is glad to offer relief, in whatever manner Garak requires. Even in the most intimate of ways...

Secretly, they both hope their brief affair in the runabout’s bottom bunk will lead to something more. But how could it, when duty forever trumps desire?

Tags: Post-Canon, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Porn With Plot, Mutual Pining, Sex Pollen, Mood Swings, Hormones, Cuddling & Snuggling, Public Display of Affection, Smut, Explicit Consent, First Kiss, Caring Julian Bashir, Hormonal Elim Garak, Horny Elim Garak, First Time, Anal Sex, Top Elim Garak, Bottom Julian Bashir, but they do switch briefly, Post-Canon Bajor, Post-Canon Cardassia, Illustrated

Notes: FYI, Julian and Ezri are no longer a couple. How that happened is discussed late in the fic, but Garak thinks they’re still dating when he and Julian sleep together for medical reasons. (Julian is NOT cheating, but Garak guiltily believes he is.)

This one’s probably an easy edit tbh. But I’m still questioning that ^ Garak-thinks-Julian-seeing-Ezri thing, so anyone who can tell me if it feels right, if I need to edit it, or if I should take it out, would be great.

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3. Tail Over Heels

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir

Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Amsha Bashir, Benjamin Sisko, Ezri Dax, Miles O’Brien, Kira Nerys, and everyone else

19.9k, Mature

Despite every attempt to deter her, Julian’s mother is coming to DS9. Here’s the problem: Julian told her he was married, and he’s not. Here’s the solution: Garak stands in as Julian’s husband. She’s meant to hate him. But Garak is just too damn likable - and a liiiittle too convincing in the role of Julian’s lover. Not only does his mother believe the lie, but so does everyone else on the station. Even Julian himself is starting to wonder...

Tags: Romance, Fluff, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mistaken For A Couple, Moving In Together, Roommates, Sharing a Bed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Holding Hands, Eavesdropping, Bickering, Cardassian Flirting, First Kiss, First Time, Garak has a tail, Slightly Alternate Canon, set mid season 7, or an alternate post-canon where nobody leaves

Note: This one’s the oldest and closest to being publishable, and already illustrated and lightly beta’d, so this will likely post first, before the end of March 2020. But it definitely needs another going-over.

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4. Code for Consent

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir

13k, Explicit

Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Miles O’Brien, Keiko O’Brien

With Miles away, Julian needs someone else to play the evil villain in his secret agent holosuite program. Garak steps up. But tying Julian to a bedpost and fake-torturing him turns out to be an accidental turn-on for both of them. Julian doesn’t want to break character, so allows Garak to escalate his erotic domination towards the point of no return - yet Garak won’t go any further with their roleplay without clear consent. Now Julian has to figure out a way to show Garak he wants him without saying it outright. (But then again, maybe saying it matters.)

Tags: Smut, Romance, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Holodecks/Holosuites, Roleplay, Cardassian Flirting, Accidental Stimulation, Light Bondage, Choking, Light Knifeplay, Consensual Non-Consent, Rape Roleplay, (foreplay only) - soon followed by:, Explicit Consent, Holding Hands, Making Love, Schmoop, Top Elim Garak, Bottom Julian Bashir, set late season 6

Note: Nobody’s read this yet so idk how it comes across to other people, which worries me. Something about it doesn’t sit right with me but I can’t figure it out and need help with that :/

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If you’re interested in helping, please submit me a tumblr message at https://almaasi.tumblr.com/submit with your name, pronouns, a statement of your interest and email address (gmail preferred) so I can add you to google docs if I pick you c:

(also maybe a timeframe of when you’d be able to beta. starting any time in the next couple of weeks is fine.)

(disclaimer to people with anxiety: I welcome anyone <3 if you want to say hi, PLEASE DO. I reserve the right not to pick you for any number of secret reasons, and I might not reply quickly, or at all, because I have chronic fatigue and messages are A Lot for me, but it doesn’t mean I don’t like you or you did something wrong!! promise.)

[kageichii]

a compilation of common route thoughts

transferring from my livetweet thread. common route finished on may 8, 2022.

✦ —

⌜  chapter 2 » april 1⌟

here's a few of my problems with this game so far: 

 1. this game tends to switch pov and it gets confusing bc the ui doesnt identify the current speaker for non dialogue texts... 

2. i usually reread scenes i'm confused about with the rewind function but this game doesnt have that

⌜  chapter 2 » april 21⌟

here's what i think of chapter 2:

nice introduction of the girls (cept for chacha ig), kageaki's personality, and his dynamics with each of them. so far i'm liking all three girls...though i do favor muramasa and ichijo more than kanae. muramasa's dynamic with kageaki is the most intriguing so far, which i honestly didn't expect? i really thought their relationship was gonna be the usual master-servant trope but this is so much better. the distance and anger between them really gives that umami flavor LMAO 

i knew kageaki would have to kill the emishi girls eventually but damn the writer really had to make it so painful to read. now i'm wondering whether that choice of whose onigiri kageaki picked determined which girl would wake up in the middle of his killing...if so, that's fucked up man

i worry about what sorimachi is planning to do after witnessing that....i still find it weird that midorikawa hikaru, who i associate with ikemen charas, is voicing a slimy old man lollll. overall, a nice chapter. ukyo's motivation is kind of...weak...imo but i guess there's people out there who's like that? maybe? i also found suzukawa to be too out there tbh. hoping the next 'villains' to have more grounded motivations. now onto the next chapter!

⌜  chapter 3 » april 23⌟

this whole conversation almost had me in tears...i see both ayane and kageaki as similar people but their approach to life are so different because of their respective backgrounds and age...my interest in ayane's route just peaked :")

⌜  chapter 3 » april 25⌟

god he's such a genuinely good person...i may not know his full backstory yet, but i still wish he wasn't so hard on himself :/

let me tell you the way i SQUEALED when this cg popped up!!! this whole scene was so otome-esque, it shot through my heart!!!

⌜  chapter 4 » may 4⌟

i'm nearing the end of chapter 4 and i have to say, the writing quality shot up greatly. it has always been good, but it got even better somehow. i still need to finish all routes to make judgement, but so far i feel like fmdm's writing have even more substance than fatamoru...

⌜  chapter 5 » may 5⌟

not gonna lie, i dont like hikaru's personality and her dynamic with kageaki. i was expecting wholesome *platonic* family bonds between them but it looks like she has a crush on him. i get that they are foster siblings but eugh can we get back to the present time please

screenshotting all these to read again later and do some research. i wish there was a book explaining all the references and historical background of this game...i don’t even know which part is made up and which part is real

⌜  chapter 5 » may 7⌟

no. the blame lies on the pride that you people have. especially the old master. why the fuck didn’t he bring the doctor sooner if he WANTS hikaru to be the next head? throughout this chapter, i thought "your idealism doesn’t seem practical" everytime a character speaks of their views

⌜  chapter 5 » may 8⌟

jesus christ. i have a lot to say about chapter 5. as much as i love kageaki and want to know more about him, i dislike flashbacks. when i realized the entire chapter is going to be exactly that, i groaned internally. not to mention i didn’t end up liking hikaru as a character and her dynamic with her family. when its revealed that she’s sick and won’t be speaking for a while i felt relieved. as the story progress though, i felt more and more immersed by the characters and their circumstances. one of the reasons why i enjoy the writing of this game so much is because the writer took his time to explain the inner workings of the characters. how they think before taking action, their views on the world, their ideals. i've played almost 40 visual novels already, and not a lot of them do this for some reason. it’s so interesting getting into the headspace of a (fictional) character who is so different than you. my heart broke reading about what happened to mizuhi. i didn’t expect to actually like her this much, or to ship her with kageaki for that matter...her tragedy affected me the most out of all the other horrible shit that happened. on that note i can’t help but go ??? at hikaru's reasoning to follow the law of might. there are most likely important things that haven’t been revealed yet about subaru and her husband, so i should withhold judgement for now. off to ichijo's route <3

[casuistor]

Did you listen to the NY demo songs of the musical that were put online recently? Some of the songs that weren't officially released are now available. Was wondering if you have any thoughts about them... Adrienne Warren's Misa in I'm Ready sounds v different compared to Fūka Yuzuki!

I am so happy the NY Demo got leaked tbh, I’ve been listening to it nonstop for the last couple of days and lemme just say – even though I don’t fully agree with all the characterization choices, the demo is gorgeous ;~; THANK YOU for the excuse to ramble about this, haha. 

I’ll outline my thoughts on the songs that weren’t released previously under the read more, but just keep in mind that these are just some quick opinions on the songs rather than my thoughts on the demo vs the final versions of the songs b/c then this would be writing for weeks and nobody wants that textwall, haha. 

…I say this is going to be abbreviated and then it turned out long-ish anyway.

Where is the Justice?

Yes I know this was released previously, but the version that was officially released cut a minute out from the song, so I’m commenting, fight me.

While I think the song is overall too focused around the issues with the criminal justice in America for a story that is supposedly set in Japan, I think the verse that was removed was more reflective of the sorts of things Light in canon might think. 

That said I don’t fully agree that Light would argue that “draining the color from within until we’re back to seeing black and white and wrong and right again” is actually a good thing, especially considering canon Light does evaluate mitigating circumstances in his evaluation of who is guilty.

Overall, I think the song does a good job of establishing Light’s character as a kid who, despite having some deeply flawed views about justice, does genuinely care about fairness and has his heart in the right place.

To this day though, I’m not convinced that manga! Light is the kind of kid who would spark this debate in his classroom. He very much seems to be the kind of person who keeps his cynicism about the world to himself.  If you ask me, his “ic” response would be more along the lines of “sure, the justice system isn’t perfect, but it’s our job as the next generation to keep improving it, isn’t it?”  But that doesn’t make a cool song, lmao. 

Hurricane

Yes, this one was also leaked before, but you’re not stopping me from talking about Weather Metaphors The Song™ now that it’s out in HQ. 

Why. WHY.

I think the problem I have with this song is that there’s really not much character development during this song. Light is just immediately sucked into a power fantasy and this is really… not reflective of Light’s character in the series. 

I’m Ready

LOVE. FUCKING LOVE ADRIENNE WARREN’S VOICE. 

But i really don’t agree that Adrienne is a good casting choice with Misa. I LOVE her voice and her singing, but she’s… too much of a power house and Misa is just not that at all. Misa needed to be bubbly and radiate cuteness rather than maturity. 

Hearing this rendition of Misa really made me understand why the Korean production went the direction they did with Jung Sun Ah’s Misa though, and it comes as much less of a headscratcher now. 

I think these lyrics are also not PG enough for Misa’s idol image which sounds ridiculous b/c it’s overall a pretty tame song, lmao

Specifically it’s lines like “let me kiss you and then let me kiss you again” that are maybe not… squeaky clean enough for the image that idols in Japan have to project. 

We All Need A Hero

Perfection. Absolute perfection.  I love that they threw in that dumb light pun lmao. 

Honestly this almost made me cry and I wish I knew who sings this song as they were the perfect Sayu singing voice. Young, sweet, optimistic, sincere sounding? Nailed it. (Edit: I am told that the singer is Laura Osnes)

I am VERY much intrigued by the fact that this song was written as a solo in the NY Demo as opposed to the odd duet that it became in the final version. This makes much more sense to me and avoids weird/creepy parallels between Sayu and Misa that the final version forced by making it a duet. 

The Game Begins

I am so distracted by the line “for even the perfect crime has the perfect flaws” because this is just not logically coherent.

ON LESS GRIPEY TERRITORY – having the whole demo did put into perspective for me why the Weather Metaphors had to be, and I think it’s because they may have been going for a nature vs machine type of theme… and while I can appreciate it poetically (?) I just don’t agree that it fit thematically with the character of L and Light. 

Like why… does L keep making tech metaphors? Is this supposed to be a quirk of his the same way that the posture/diet is? I think in a way this was poorly executed and characterization was ultimately sacrificed in favor of poetic analogies. 

The literal first line “empty your mind of any feelings” is very unlike L to do. L is a detective who works heavily based on his intuition and his gut instincts. He did not tackle the Kira case like a super computer interested in objectivity and eliminating bias. That’s just not what happened in canon. 

I stand very much corrected on these lyrics as they are “empty your mind of any theories.” My bad, I don’t have the best ear for lyrics. But that said, doesn’t this contradict the fact that he already took an action based on a theory with the LLT plan? 

Overall I think this song took too many poetic liberties with L, and tried too hard to make him sound intelligent by throwing in “smart sounding words” like ~calculus~ and ~evolution~ even though those words didn’t actually make that much sense in the context he was applying them in? 

“A stronger mind and evolution determines who wins the game” – for example. Evolution and adaptation aren’t synonyms, but he uses them as such anyway and this kind of clumsiness, though very lyrically pretty, is a bit… idk, not quite what I associate with L myself.

In terms of the overall performance – lovely. My issues are 100% the lyrics on this one. Jarrod Specter performs fantastically. 

There Are Lines

Fight me this song is best song and I honestly did not like this song much in the final version of it.  

J’ADORE how salty Soichiro is about L’s method of offering up Lind L Tailor as a decoy. His anger seems so genuine and believable in this, and I love how it’s so obvious that he has no idea that this is applicable to Light too, since they don’t force that dumb “KAMI NI NARU!!!!” line to ram the subtext down your throat.  (… I say as I claim that I wasn’t going to talk about comparisons to the final Japanese songs, ahem). 

That said, was Soichiro actually that salty about L’s tactics there with LLT in the manga? No. At least not to the extreme that he lost a lot of respect for L for it. In fact, manga!Soichiro seemed impressed by the results L achieved and didn’t really seem to dwell on the moral implications of L’s actions. 

tl;dr not the most ic or canonically based interpretation of Soichiro, but I am standing by this man. 

Personally, I think this is an improvement on the character AND LET ME JUST SAY THIS SONG MADE ME REALLY WISH THEY’D ADAPTED THE YOTSUBA ARC IN THIS MUSICAL??? Can you imagine this song as a reprise as Soichiro shoots Light while they’re in the car? 

You’re welcome

Secrets and Lies

I cannot emphasize how much I love when Soichiro calls out L for his awful morals in addition to calling out Kira’s. This is so nice -w-

I am also deeply enamored with the fact that L also outright says “I don’t care who gets hurt now, as long as I get one more shot” because fucking yes – L is so brazen about this in the manga, and most adaptations try to sweeten his attitude. 

I enjoy that it is constantly reinforced that neither Light nor L are in the right because there are constant parallels between the two and the two are criticized by the narrative. 

Mortals and Fools

“What I see in your eyes is a counterfeit emotion” – the truest thing ever said about the manga!Misa’s feelings about love. 

Admittedly, Demo!Rem annoys me as a character though. It’s not a problem with casting – Carrie’s singing is lovely and I think they made a good choice there. This is a bit of an aside I guess, but I just don’t understand how it is believable that Rem actually romantically fell in love with Misa as the song “When Love Comes” implies after all this love is for mortals and fools lark and Misa… doesn’t really seem to do anything to win Rem’s love in a romantic sense of it. Platonic love I can squint and buy certainly, but not romantic based on the contents of “Mortals and Fools”, “Borrowed Time,” and “When Love Comes.” Maybe something in the actual script/dialogue justifies it? But with the material available so far, I’m not seeing it.

I think also Demo!Rem’s fixation on the notion of love is something that’s… overexaggerated from her more subtle curiosity over the issue in the manga. I just don’t think I’d agree that the melancholy tone demo!Rem has when she says she tries and fails to really understand love as an emotion is true to the manga. Manga!Rem seems to have a more “god Misa, I get this is important to you but could you maybe slow down” kind of vibe to her. Melancholy doesn’t really seem to be it, exactly.

For the sake of clarity – the issue I have is not that Rem’s character was changed from the manga to make her develop romantic interests in Misa. That is perfectly a-okay and it’s actually pretty cool that they went this route with demo!Rem. 

My issue is that from a narrative perspective, Rem’s character development in the demo seems underdeveloped and not optimally executed given that she is a) literally not human and b) as she herself points out is a shinigami who fundamentally does not understand why humans idealize romantic love. 

Shinigami themselves in the context of this musical are not shown to idealize love within their own culture. Ryuk and Rem both seem to find it funny or baffling/futile indicating that this is not a culture that parallels human culture in its zealous overvaluation of romantic love as a be all end all goal of life. Shinigami, according to the musical’s own internal logic, are not amatonormative.. 

My pet peeve exists specifically because it is somewhat frustrating to me, an aroace person, when even non-humans who were very firm on not relating to romantic love (and yes, “Mortals and Fools” makes Rem come down more strongly on that side compared to “Zankoku na Yume”) and have no reason to inherently want to experience or idealize romantic love the same way human society normalizes it for humans, starts extolling the virtues of romantic love as the pinnacle of interpersonal relationships.

I can fully respect that this is not a pet peeve that most other people will have, or even be inclined to view from this perspective and that to many, none of these things matter and that’s fine! Just keep in mind that I would find this just as pet peeve-y if Rem were a male shinigami and would have no problems whatsoever with any of this had Rem been a human girl or if shinigami culture as a whole been portrayed differently in the musical itself. Also please note, I am only speaking for myself. I’m sure other aroace folk will have different opinions as well.   Ironically enough, Rem in the final live version, I can more readily see as developing romantic feelings for Misa precisely because “Inochi no Kachi” was written the way it was and it is a damn shame that that is not the direction that was eventually taken with the character in the live productions as they seem to view Rem as having more maternal instincts. (…which, I’d again disagree is an inference of the manga, as I do think Rem’s feelings about Misa were very platonic in a ‘friends’-ish way rather than a parental way.)

tl;dr All I’m saying is that I think demo!Rem should have gotten more charater development, and it is a shame that she did not. 

On a performative note – it is really odd that Rem’s voice is higher than Misa’s. I don’t think I’d make this call. 

Borrowed Time

Adrienne delivers yet another killer performance!!

I know I said I wasn’t gonna make comparisons but I have to say that between “Borrowed Time” and “Inochi no Kachi” Borrowed Time is just so much more IC for manga!Misa. 

I’m glad they based this song around something Misa actually said in the manga since that line “Just kill me. I was supposed to die that day anyway” is actually something that stuck with me for a very long time since it says so much about where Misa was in her life.

In the end, I guess I find it more convincing that Misa would be singing a song more centered around herself than singing a less me me me focused song about the virtues of sacrificial love as she ultimately is a person (in the manga) who is pretty selfish and focuses mostly on her own perspective. 

Which is not to say that demo!Misa is really reflective of manga!MIsa because I don’t think that’s the case at all. 

The Way It Ends

Blurgh more machine/tech metaphors and analogies from L…..I still don’t like this, sorry. He does not view himself as a robot in the manga, so it just comes out of left field for me.

I think the part of this song that lets me down is Jeremy’s delivery. He’s not !!!!!!! enough for what is supposed to be a victorious moment for Light. He has so much less energy and power than he did when he was singing Weather Metaphors, and it really shouldn’t be that way in my opinion. 

On that last “a minute more.” Jeremy sounds weirdly remorseful, though I guess it’s hard to interpret the exact emotion behind that without an accompanying facial expression. 

But speaking of delivery holy shit, Jarrod’s delivery as L is spot on. I’m kinda stunned by the range of emotion in his voice for this one: confusion, defiance, anger and that hint of regret that his life is coming to an end as he goes into “like a closing door.” It’s so… good?????? 

Overall I think the NY Demo is lovely and it has made me really happy to be able to listen to it after years of wondering what on earth it was like, lmao. 

I know it sounds like I have a ton of gripes, but just keep in mind that a) even I consider these gripes pretty minor and they didn’t really hurt my enjoyment of the demo as a whole, and b) I think that adaptations have every right to make changes and take creative liberties with their source material. It’s important to do that in order to keep material fresh and bring in new thoughts and perspectives to the original. 

[silver-handed]

Keldrin and Nev for the uncommon questions :3c

a a a h i didn’t see this but I’m doing it now and puttin it under a readmore bc that is a lot

Keldrin

QUESTIONS FOR YOUR OCs

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

He can sit still forever if he has work or anything like that to do, but with absolutely nothing to do? I’d say a couple of hours, just people watching if there are others around, otherwise pacing

How easy is it for your character to laugh?

He can get a lil laugh pretty easy, but full on laughter is kinda rare for him now.

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

Because the fucker never sleeps/goes into his ‘trance’, he can go into it pretty easily whenever he finally does.

How easy is it to earn their trust?

It takes a long while to earn his full trust tbh

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

Pretty easy, he doesn’t put trust in people by default. But to get him to never trust you takes something very dumb, or very cruel

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

Considering his profession, I’d say he thinks they are very, very flexible

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

The smell of rasberries and woodsmoke always remind him of someone he used to know. He likes it in the moment, it feels warm and lovely, but then he comes back and it just puts a deep pang of sadness and longing in his chest.

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

Depends on the stage of his childhood, but usually to stop hiding or climbing shit, and start focusing

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

He swears a lot and nah, he thinks he was very very young tho

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them? 

hmmm, something along the lies of “I’ll get you and it will all be okay, I promise.” He knew when he said it that it was a lie, and it bothers him so much

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

One of two ways: presses for more info in the moment, or pretends he understands and then goes and researches it on his own so he does understand in the future

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

He normally rubs up against something if it’s somewhere like his back

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

Blacks and navy blues and he looks damn good in them

What animal do they fear most?

A turtle named Lucifer that really, truly, honestly wants to kill him even though he’s done absolutely nothing to it

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

If he has time to rehearse it in his mind then he does, but if he doesn’t then its whatever comes to mind first and then he frets over it and feels dumb forever afterwards

What makes their stomach turn?

Considering his line of work, not a lot really. Anything involving kids or drowning really bothers him, however.

Are they easily embarrassed?

By others? not really. tho every other time he opens his mouth or does something awkward he hates himself for an age.

What embarrasses them?

Misspeaking or messing up something simple he should be really good at. Also sexual stuff doesn’t embarrass him per se, but attraction directed at him from someone he is emotionally into? he’s so fucking awkward

What is their favorite number?

17. It just feels right

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

He’d think about it for a long while before just...laying it bare the way those emotions make him feel, describing it very much in something like levels of warmth he gets from each

Why do they get up in the morning?

Got a guild to run, people to repay (doesn’t matter if they’re alive or not), and pure spite

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

He gets either broody or sometimes slightly passive aggressive, but reels it in pretty quick bc he doesn’t wanna make an ass of himself 

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

He gets a lil resentful, but tries to hush up about it

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? .

If it’s personal friends he’s know a while, sure. If its someone he’s going to sleep with but isn’t really into on an emotional level, sure. He’s not comfy speaking about it with anyone else tho, other than a long term partner.

What are their thoughts on marriage?

He’s been married in the past and very much enjoyed it, and he’d not hesitate to marry someone he truly, deeply loved

What is their preferred mode of transportation?

Walking or horseback riding. He loves the convenience of teleportation circles but he isn’t big on actually taking them

What causes them to feel dread?

Not hearing back from a member of the guild in time always sets him on edge, and when something bigger is uncovered by something that was supposed to be simple (Mr. Scratch, the painting, etc.)  

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

He always wants the truth, lying to him is one surefire way to either make him mad, or make him distrust you

Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

He tries to, but feels like he falls short tho he does pretty decent

Who do they most regret meeting?

The previous guild leader, and a couple of ‘friends’ from the past just after he took over that tried to use him

Who are they the most glad to have met?

Alabast, the council, his late wife, his parents, Elizabeth and her parents, the investigators, so so many people that he loves so much

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

Not really, he does have a couple of missions from when he was young that he talks about a lot

Could they be considered lazy?

not really, he sometimes zones out and doesn’t work but he’s also...way way to into working and taking care of everything himself  

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

This man has never shook a sense of guilt in his lifetime

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

He’s very excited and wants to hear about it!! if he doesn’t understand it then he wants to know more about it

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

He kinda waits for it to fall into his lap, but he also pushes it away due to emotional baggage and fears and personal issues  

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

He sometimes makes little sentences out of them, but for the most part its pretty easy for him to remember stuff like that

What memory do they revisit the most often?

The memory of his wedding is high up there, and also the memory of losing his wife and trying to make things right

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

Pretty easy, he runs a guild of very flawed people and he just wants to help them

How sensitive are they to their own flaws? 

 Very. this man nitpicks all of his own actions and flaws and always worries or puts himself down

How do they feel about children?

he l o v e s babies and kids and always wanted some of his own

How badly do they want to reach their end goal?

he kind of feels like he’s sort of already there? he just wants to make the guild as nice and reputable as it can be, and every time good new blood comes in he feels closer to that goal

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

“There are a lot of very attractive people out there and I appreciate each and every one”

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?

He’s just...he’s a very wonderful and good man that has had a lot of dark shit happen to him and i just wanna see him develop and interact with people

B) What inspired you to create them?

Ahhhh i just...really really wanted to do something with a thieves guild, and he just sort of sprung up from there?

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

Not really? he sort of fell into place!

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

I went back and forth on a few small things like hair color, but he’s been pretty solid!

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

I would love him and die for him and i like to think he’d like me to!

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

Pride! he’s a good boy and that he is so loved just makes me very very happy and proud

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

He refuses to take care of himself and always puts others first, even when its to his own detriment. Also, he drinks a lot, but no one has really caught him or called him out on it yet and it doesn’t really affect him too too much bc he doesn’t get drunk on the job very often, but still.

H) What trait do you admire most?

He cares so so much about his people and works so hard to help them

Nev 

QUESTIONS FOR YOUR OCs

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

A little while, but not too long. He gets fidgety and anxious and starts tapping his foot n stuff

How easy is it for your character to laugh?

Pretty easy! Nev loves to laugh and be merry

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

He does a lot of thinking, and he finds it easy to fall asleep to the sounds of other people talking or the sounds of someone else in the room either doing simple stuff quietly or falling asleep themself

How easy is it to earn their trust?

Easy! be good to him and be part of the guild and boom you’re in

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

Pretty hard. He still trusts blake in a way, even tho Blake was an ass to him

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

Again, very flexible

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Sunny days in alasain down by the docks remind him of being young and training, and it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

When the guild first took him in, before Keldrin took over, he was yelled at a lot to stop crying and start doing what he was told

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

A fair bit, but growing up around criminals means it was when he was very young

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

He remembers telling someone looking for Keldrin that he hadn’t seen him at all, no sir, not been through here, when Keldrin was taking over the guild. It doesn’t haunt him really, he’s quite proud of it

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

Questions a lot more than anything

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

Like keldrin, rubs up on something, but is more likely to do it in the open

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

Browns n whites! he looks very nice in blacks, however

What animal do they fear most?

Owlbears scare him for some reason and he hates it bc they’re also so c o o l

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

He tries to take a minute to think about it bc it helps reduce his stutter

What makes their stomach turn?

The thought of anything happening to Ruby or Luna or his family at the guild

Are they easily embarrassed?

pretty easily! he gets bashful and shy quite often

What embarrasses them?

If he takes too long to say a sentence he gets embarrassed and frustrated with himself, and anyone calling him cute or handsome both embarrasses him and makes him happy. Also, explicitly talking about sex gets him

What is their favorite number?

32

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

He’s another one that talks about them in sensory fashions, but compares em to food! Romantic is sweet and warm like a a fresh red velvet cake, friendship is sweet and tangy like key lime pie, and familial is just warm and comfy like a chocolate chip cookie (is it obvious nev likes food)

Why do they get up in the morning?

To make the guild proud and to take care of Ruby and to kiss Luna

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

He kinda of pulls back and gets a lil down, like he knew it was coming

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

he doesn’t really get envious? other people have their stuff and he has his. and if he really wants it he can find a way to get it  

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

He is never comfy talking about it b u t he wants to, he’s just never gotten the chance to before tbh  

What are their thoughts on marriage?

He likes the idea of it, but never thought he would until recently

What is their preferred mode of transportation?

he likes to walk and he thinks boats are cool!

What causes them to feel dread?

Thinking about Luna’s missions and her going on them worries him, especially if keldrin ever seems worried. Also, the thought of Ruby’s mom coming back for her or hurting ruby

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

unpleasant truth normally, but if its something really bad then he’ll take a lie

Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

He doesn’t think he does, and he hasa really high ideals, but he does pretty good most of the time

Who do they most regret meeting?

Again, teh previous guild leader and the person who kidnapped him

Who are they the most glad to have met?

Keldrin and Luna and Ruby! they’ve all really helped him in a lot of ways over the years

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

not really, he likes to listen to other people’s jokes n stories more than tell his own

Could they be considered lazy?

nah, he throws himself into his work and tries really hard to do good and do right

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

kinda hard, but he gets over it eventually after talking to people about it

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

Nev gets very excited right along with them and talks to them about it and loves to listen

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

He’s wanted to actively seek it but he’s been too shy in the past, and then it fell right in his lap  

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

he has a little tune in his head that he puts em to

What memory do they revisit the most often?

Meeting and kissing Luna, finding ruby, and that night at the guild when he was a little kid

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

Very easy! he never has an issue at all with other people’s flaws

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

Pretty sensitive, as he’s got low self esteem, but he can also ignore it every now and then

How do they feel about children?

He likes em but never thought he’d have any and then. welp. Now he’s a happy dad and wouldn’t trade it for the world

How badly do they want to reach their end goal?

He doesn’t really have one? he just wants to be a damn good thief and take care of his family and live a long life, and he wants that pretty bad but he also knows that he’s taking the steps towards that every day

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

*vague hand gestures* also the will smith pose towards luna

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?

He’s a sweetheart who has nowhere to go but up and is gonna see and do so much and just. ahhh I’m excited for his excitement and him seeing the world??

B) What inspired you to create them?

I just really wanted a fully sweet dude in this story tbh

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

not really, he was one of the early characters :P

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

pretty much the same, ye! he was a lil slimmer at one point but other than that he’s been pretty steady

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

I would kill for Nev in a heart beat and I hope so!

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

Just very warm happy bubbly feelings bc he’s such a sweet cutie

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

He is a little naive still somehow, and a lot of people take advantage of that and he let em walk all over him

H) What trait do you admire most?

He is just so good and trusting and will give the shirt off his back to help someone in need in a heartbeat

[theinvulnerabletide]

1-J for whoever your newest OC is.

GeezAnon, you really know how to show a girl a good time. I guess I have to do Whisper the Abyssal Tiefling Sorceress, since you asked sonicely and I guess she is my newest character period. 

QUESTIONS FOR YOUR OCs

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sitstill with nothing to do?

Whisper tries so hard to be patient,she really does, because the person she’s pretending to be is infinitely patient.But she gets antsy and bored very quickly. Unless she’s waiting with a specificgoal in mind, it’s like a few minutes before she starts shifting in her seat orpacing, or falling asleep. If she’s got a reason she’s waiting though, she canusually sit there much, much longer.

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

Very. Whether it’s a real laugh or afake one though is a toss-up.

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading,singing, thinking?)

Thinking, definitely. She startsremembering home and wondering how everyone there is doing. She probably endsup praying to her god to watch over them before finally drifting off.

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

Not easy at all. She’s been told thather god’s enemies are everywhere, so she never fully lets her guard down withanyone outside her sect. There’s people whose motives she understands, peoplewho she trusts to an extent, but only a handful she trusts completely.

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

Very easy. Especially since she’slooking for reasons not to trust you. 

6.  Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

Flexible. You can get away withanything if you know how.

 7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoythat feeling?

 Snow, probably. Great bodies ofwater. Castles and the like. It used to be a very painful feeling, and it isstill, to an extent, but after 8 years from home she welcomes it every now andagain.

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as achild?

 She was often told to stop botheringthe servants, and, when she got older, sneaking out of the castle. And she was toldto get back to her studies quite a lot (she hated sitting still, so getting herto study anything except her magic was almost painful for her—even her catechismsweren’t as important as actually doing something).

9. Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

Not often? Not unless she’s doing itfor a reason. Or if things are really going wrong. And her first swear word was probably “shit,” right after hearing her olderbrother say it.

10.  What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does ithaunt them?

Whisper lies about everything, downto her name and her past and stuff she knows. And it never bothers her, because she’s doing it toprotect her family.

11.  How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretendthey understand, etc)?

It depends on what is most useful atthe time. If she really needs to know something, she’ll seek clarification andquestion someone until she’s (more) blue in the face. If she’s not interested,she’ll pretend to understand.

12.  How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’tquite reach?

 That’s what mage hand is for.

13.  What color do they think they look best in? Do they actuallylook best in that color?

Well, her skin is a deep indigo, soshe usually goes for cool colors, purples and greens, or stark white to offsether skin and match her hair. Once in a while she’ll go for a rich yellow, butonly if she’s trying to draw more attention to herself—she thinks she pulls itoff quite well.

14.  What animal do they fear most?

She’s not a fan of horses, but shecan tolerate them. I think she’s more freaked out by rats. There’s always somany of them, and they’re not afraid of running up and biting you. She probablyhad a few run ins with them in the castle dungeons. 

15.  How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of onthe spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

She used to just burst out withwhatever was on her mind, but she’s since she left home become a lot more circumspect. She’llthink about something before she speaks to make sure it doesn’t give too muchaway now.

16.  What makes their stomach turn?

Not much. She’s used to corpses andweird rituals as her normal.

17.  Are they easily embarrassed?

I think she laughs off most anything,but there are a few things that hit her.

18.  What embarrasses them?

She really doesn’t like it whenpeople draw attention to how she looks. She tries to be brazen about it, walkthrough the world like she doesn’t look any differently, but she does getslightly embarrassed still when people stare and point at her out on thestreet.

19.  What is their favorite number? 9.

20.  If they were asked to explain the difference betweenromantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

She wouldn’t. She’d turn thequestion around and make them answer.

21.  Why do they get up in the morning? 

Because she has a mission. Hergoddess isn’t going to resurrect herself!

22.  How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they becomepossessive, they become aloof, etc)? 

She’s not usually jealous of people?Like she doesn’t get close enough to people to be jealous of them spending timewith other people or something. But I think she would become aloof andreactionary—like she’s not feeling jealous, why would you ever think she wasfeeling jealous that’s not a thing.

23. How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what theywant, they become resentful, etc)? 

She didn’t want for a lot when shewas a child, but once she left, stealing really became a thing. So she’d tryand take it if she really wanted it that badly.

24.  Is sex something that they’re comfortable speakingabout? To whom? 

In general, she tries to pretend she’scomfortable with anything. It’s expected, after all, she looks demonic, so she’sthought to be up for anything, so she will talk about it like she knows 100%what’s up whenever it’s brought up. But in reality, she’s like a 17-year-oldboy who is trying to impress his friends. She’s never had sex and she has onlythe vaguest anatomical ideas of what sex is and why people want it.

25. What are their thoughts on marriage? 

That it’s a thing you do for dutyand to further your family line, and that she was too special to be forced intoit.  

26. What is their preferred mode of transportation? Sailing.

27. What causes them to feel dread?

 Dry desert places probably.

28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasanttruth? 

The unpleasant truth.

29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals? 

She mostly lives up to them, or shetries to. The “church” she was raised in as pretty screwed up ideals though compared to the rest of the world.

30.   Who do they most regret meeting? 

I think there are some towns she regrets going to, but no one in particular sheregrets meeting. Yet.

31.  Who are they the most glad to have met? 

Outside of her family and the otherpeople in the castle, probably Ignatius and the rest of the “circus” she joinedafter leaving her family.

32.  Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or ajoke? 

I don’t think so. She always changesit up, and they’re probably all fake.

33. Could they be considered lazy? 

 No, she’s pretty active. 

34.  How hard is it for them to shake a sense ofguilt? 

She doesn’t feel guilty very often.She’s basically been raised to think whatever she has to do in service of hergod is justified, so there’s not a lot that she regrets or feels guilty about.

35. How do they treat the things their friends come tothem excited about? Are they supportive?

Oh, definitely. She’d get superexcited about it too.

36. Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it tofall into their lap?

She does not seek romance out, shethinks she’s got more important stuff to concentrate on. But she did read a lotof like sweeping adventure novels as a child, so she does get crushes a lot,she just doesn’t act on them. And even if one fell into her lap, I don’t thinkshe’d let herself reciprocate.

37.  Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists ofnumbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, puttingthings to melodies, etc)?

She would probably have little songsshe sings under her breath.

38.  What memory do they revisit the most often? 

She has a lot she revisits. Basically,anything of her memories from home, spending time with her brothers before heryounger brother got sick, running around the catacombs with the servant’schildren, sneaking out of the castle with her brothers to explore the woods inthe middle of the night. The rites her family and their circle preformed. But the thing she revisits the most is leaving the castle. Her brother Eamon—herapparently human brother, whose eyes shine just a little strangely in directlight, grabbing her on the shoulders and telling her that he was going to makesure to bring her back as soon as the danger has passed.It’s been 8 years. She hasn’t seen him since.

39.  How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

She actually doesn’t want to ignore them. Flaws are a thingshe can exploit or play with should she need to. If she notices it, shedefinitely takes note.

40.  How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

 I don’t think she’s very cognizantof her personality flaws tbh.

41.  How do they feel about children?

She loves children. She doesn’t particularlywant one, but she thinks they’re wonderful. She’s just shy of interacting withthem, because of how she looks and she doesn’t want to draw the ire of theirparents.  

42. How badly do they want to reach their end goal? 

Very, very badly. It’s what she’sbeen raised for, what her entire family line has been working for. It’s herdestiny.

43.  If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how wouldthey do so?

She would either go into superdetail about who she’s attracted to and what she likes (even though she hasabsolutely no idea) or she would just shrug.  

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about thischaracter?Because her point of view is so strange. She was raised in a cult, man, and she’strying to resurrect a god that is probably not a god anymore, if they ever werea god and not just some demon who is playing with a bunch of humans. Basically she’s primed to bring about an apocalypse by accident, and I am superexcited about it.

B) What inspired you to create them?

To be quite honest? Strix from Dice Camera Action.That whole thing with her aunt and that creepy cult in her basement, and theaunt hinting that Strix’s teiflingness is from deals they made with dark powerssounded super cool. So I just took that and ran with it.

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where theyfit in their own story?

Her story built around her race/class build and theabove kernel, so she fits into her own story pretty well. Figuring out herpersonality was difficult though. And it does fluctuate.

D) Have they always had the same physicalappearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

She’s always looked the same in my head: indigo skin,white hair and eyes, black ram’s horns, sharp incisors, barbed tail.

E) Are they someone you would get along with?Would they get along with you?

She tries to get along with everyone, if only as adefense mechanism. She’s actually very sweet in my head, very sunny. At leastshe was when she was younger, and I think if I could get past her mistrust,then we could be pretty good friends.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC(pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

Excitement. I can’t wait to see how her story rollsout.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Her mistrust of everyone is going to be a hurdle, and I don’t like being at odds with the party. But it’sin her best interest to at least pretend to get along with them, so hopefullythat won’t be too much of a problem.

H) What trait do you admire most?

Her drive. She’s away from her family and the peopleshe cares about, in a world that distrusts her or at least looks at her strangely,and while it would be easy for her to just return home, she doesn’t feel likeshe can. She has a goal and an inner compass pointing the way (which isprobably a very Wrong Way to go, but still), and she’s going to get there.  

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canonuniverse?

I mean, I might import her into my books. We’ll seehow it goes and if I need a good patsy-slash-villain.

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canonfactors to allow them to create their character?

I mean I had to create afew, but I don’t think I had to exclude anything.

[exploranora]

@nikadd tagged me in this so here i go

if you were able to travel the world, where would you go first? hawaii first probably and then the dream is backpacking through central/south america

do you prefer driving or being the passenger? passenger 100% cause the view is nice, you can pick the music, don't have to worry about being distracted, and you can sleep whenever you want

what is your dream job? why? i have like 8 jobs i want to have but rn it's a really cool teacher that works with communities in need (alternatively, space. space is cool)

do you have a favorite or go-to outfit? i have a pair of really cute pants and a goofy crop top which look a+ and the dress w/oversized sweater is also a look

what would amortentia smell like to you? vanilla, pine, and salt

what web browser do you prefer? chrome

tell me about your dream house. comfy places to curl up and chill, lots of plants.

do you have any pets? what are their names? no:(

describe your ideal date (platonic or romantic). something outdoorsey like canoeing or stargazing

what is your favorite quality in a person? least favorite? favorite: people who look out for other people, least favorite: people who act superior

do you have any hobbies? what are they? I play the piano and go hiking a lot

Fave book series? oh man. the chronicles of narnia probably cause the lion the witch and the wardrobe was the first book i read.

Fave name? alexander or marie

Most recently watched movie and your opinion on it? time to choose which made me sad bc of the whole earth is dying thing but was a really well made movie

Most recently added song to your playlist? hooked on a feeling

Fave/best meme? i like the who is she meme and all wholesome memes

Weird fact/story you read or heard of? buzzfeed says you will walk by 16 murderers in your lifetime

A memory that makes you feel good? driving back from a party and i had to sit in the trunk bc there weren't any seats open

A quote. Any quote. "if you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need"

Preferred subject or topic in school/uni? chemistry!

Preferred hair color? i don't really have one everybody's cute

Something you are looking forward to in the near future? starting my summer job in two weeks

beach or mountains? ahhhhh. mountains, probably, but i feel guilty cause i live right near a beach which is also really pretty but i don't love crowds.

space or ocean? both????

what’s your worst nervous habit? picking my lip

who’s one of your best friends and why do you love them? probably @magbeth cause we've known each other for a really long time and she's p chill i guess.

your ideal sandwich? grilled ham and cheese

pick one song you like for the lyrics and one you like for the music. lyrics: so in love with you. music: woods by bon iver

name a few people/places/things that inspire you. camp, the ocean, my friends case they are all wonderful people

think of a person you haven’t talked to in a long time. write something you wish you could say to them. sorry i'm so bad at communicating lol what's good dude?

what’s something that always makes you laugh? the school band played hooked on a feeling and the guys did the chanting and the clarinet played the melody it was hysterical

everyone has that one food place from their hometown that is nowhere else and it is to die for. what’s yours? frappes i guess? that's not really specific to my town but there are lots of good frappe places in my area.

what’s the video game you’ve probably logged the most hours on? fallen london maybe or dragon quest.

silk or velvet? silk

lace or leather? ah another tough call leather probably

gold or silver? silver

favorite season of the year? summer

list 5 fictional characters who you identify with. hermonine, susan pensive, richard gansey iii, nick carroway, and i wish i was as cool as arya stark

list 5 fictional characters whom you would 100% date. no thanks dating is weird

who is your favorite superhero? quicksilver

what is your favorite number and why? 3 bc i was born on 3/23 at 6:23 and the 3s were the first times table i memorized

what is the name of the song that reminds you of the better times? can't stop the feeling

what is the name of the song that reminds you of someone you love? (platonically and/or romantically) mystery by the indigo girls

what movie do you not get tired of watching over and over again? mamma mia tbh

if you were to direct a film adaptation of any book, what book would it be and would you change anything in your adaptation? stone butch blues and no way

my 11 questions are: 1. hot food or cold food? 2. does all water taste the same? if not, where is your favorite water from? 3. do you think you could be a vegetarian? 4. pink lemonade or yellow lemonade? 5. what's a tradition you have with your family/friends? 6. where was your first job? 7. do you like walking places? 8. favorite author? 9. if you had $1 million and you had to spend it on yourself, what would you buy? 10. are you the big or little spoon? 11. when was the last time you looked at the stars?

I tag @magbeth (haha now you have two to do), @roonaldmackwazlib, @wadnerlust, @mere-peripheral, and @perfumeofpaperandmagic