#and this is the answer which makes the most sense to me

[klinefelterrible]

sooo I’m doing it for @k-kizkhalifa :} Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

There are times when I daydream a lot about a certain idea, like for example about the one about pairing Ron with Blaise, but mostly it’s just a Boom! and if I don’t write it now, it’s dead and gone.

Where do you get your fic ideas?

I imagine my (as in “original but in my way” or headcanonly or au) characters during certain activities (mostly: fucking) and I add something or someone extra, or I set the scene right before or after - as it comes to me.

Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

I rarely have a big idea that is different than a shortie I am writing or wrote already, but in my head it’s like once I say it, it’s done and gone - so sharing is equal to abandoning it most likely forever

How do you choose which fics to write?

Since I don’t understand the question really I will try answering how I feel it: I choose just by how I feel about right now. When I think of Eomer, I write about Eomer. As simple as that.

How many wips do you have? What fandoms/pairings are they for?

GURL YOU NOT READY!

I have many wips, mostly of HP wizarding world, and probably sometime soon I will release another chapter of two halves of Draco’s broken wand and my favourite pairing there is Draco/Bill Weasley and Fred/George/Hermione and since it’s me, it’s going to be juicy as fuck. Literally.

What’s the last line you wrote?

“He’s a cuckoo”

Post a snippet from a wip.

Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

Draco is being blackmailed and fucked by Bill Weasley

Does this word [chosen by asker] appear in your current wip?

Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time?

M u l t i p l e

Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

I truly have no idea what I’m doing

Do you outline your fics? If yes, how detailed are your outlines? How far do you stray from them?

It depends. For Lucy I invented a whole new interest and branch of magical creatures for Lucius to be interested in and for the moment I was even sad that I am doing all this work to finish it with some porn scene.

Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

Rarely as I am bilingual and most of the music I listen to is English so I get distracted very easily

What is your favorite location and position to write in?

Any. Sometimes I park my car on my driveway and just START WRITING

What’s your favorite time to write?

Any. No particular favourite time. But I don’t like meal time to use on writing if I really must differentiate between this or that

Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

99% phone.

Do you have a writing routine?

I barely have any routines!

Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?

Research yes, sometimes a lot! But for a fic? They don’t require much researching… maybe just checking if I remember something correctly or not.

Do you enjoy creating OCs or do you prefer to stick solely to canon characters?

I like creating OCs based on characters from other fiction and I am not ashamed at all.

Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

Asking that a guy who writes hardcore gay porn from Wizarding World…

Do you prefer writing chaptered fics or one-shots?

Why not both at once?

Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

I hate titling!

Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

I never know how to end stuff. Ever. Anything. I have to force myself to shut the fuck up.

How do you choose whose POV to write in?

I don’t like POVs

What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

The part when I am just a finger that clicks and my subconsciousness does everything else.

What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

Making sure it all makes sense! Fuck. That!

What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

Area of writing? As in I AM A DIALOGUE MASTER and a little bitch for remembering what the fuck did I start with

What area of writing do you want to improve in?

I won’t improve in remembering so maybe I can start making sense more…?

What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

I can make literally anything about gay men crossdressing or women wearing high heels and sometimes I can even make them sassy. I am not proud of myself at all so whatever

How much do you edit your fics? Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

Wips are being edited hard, especially longshots. I write, I stop, I edit two weeks later, I write and so on and it all depends on my mood.

Do you use a beta reader/editor?

Only for bigger or more serious projects and even then extremely rarely because I don’t know anyone that committed to my writing or weird enough and with so much free time

Do you take fic requests? Why or why not?

I WOULD TAKE REQUESTS ANYTIME BUT BEAR IN MIND THAT I AM NOT VERY GOOD AND YOU WILL SUFFER A LOT OF GAYNESS AND WEIRD SEX IN THEM, hit me up only if you’re ready for some hardcore porn or smut or sass

Is there a specific word count that you hold yourself to/enjoy writing the most?

I never think of that

How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

Barely anything other than sass and heels and my own stupidity

What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

I am currently a fan of my short incorrect quotes, it’s my most recent and most read work on ao3.

What fic are you proudest of?

Two Halves of Draco’s broken wand maybe?

What fic has been the hardest for you to write?

WHAT IS WIP IS A WIP BECAUSE IT IS HARD FOR SOME REASON

What is your most self-indulgent posted story?

Everyone would want a friend like you

What’s your most self-indulgent wip?

all of them :>

What is your favorite world that you’ve created for a fic?

I honestly have no clue!

Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?

From a fic? I enjoy writing young Narcissa, but frankly speaking I loved writing young Lucius and adult Draco.

What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with?

I hate titling! Next question!

Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

Next question!

What is your favorite genre to write?

Genre… as in dialogue-based fantasy weirdness?

What genre/trope do you tend to write the most?

PORN

If you could only write one type of AU for the rest of your life, what would it be?

one type as in the one where guys that canonically don’t fuck all of the sudden do?

Is there a trope that you’ve written before but are now sick of?

naaah

Who is your favorite character to write for? Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

my most favourite of all times character is Sam Vimes but I don’t want to write ff about him really that much

What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

oh geez if you really need to think of me as a writer, please don’t read my fanfics EVER, I am writing them for fun and for fun only

How would you describe your writing style?

Funny, weird and sometimes even full of meaningful connections between the characters

Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

I try to be as good as my favourite writers!

What’s the average word count of your fics?

as me if I care about the numbers again and I will start telling random things

What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

maybe… blow jobs? High heels?

What’s the fandom/pairing distribution of your posted fics?

Harry/Draco!

Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

well yeah, blowjobs, denial, high heels, netorare, crossdressing, getting convinced, girls knowing and getting what they want… stuff like that

Are there any fics that you would change or rewrite if given the chance?

If I had, they’d be done already

How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

I have no idea. Next!

Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

No idea. Next!

Have you participated in any fic events/writing challenges? If yes, what were they and did you enjoy them?

not yet! I plan on getting at drarry in january 2025!

Arethere any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

The only fics that ever influenced me to write anyhow were Guarding Dark and some other fic about Sphene/Zeiat from but it was about writing more, not how

What are your favorite fics at the moment?

previously mentioned Guarding Dark, about death of Sam Vimes and dwarvish mine sign that happened afterwards. A very good fic, really a small treasure.

Are you subscribed to any writers on AO3?

no… I am a terrible subscription reader, I never have time and I always postpone to the point I hate myself

Do you spend more time reading or writing?

lately writing, but it’s a wave

What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

that someone read my book/story/fic and loved it or that it resonated with them somehow

What do you tend to get complimented on the most about your writing?

that it is funny I guess

Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

yeah all the shorties that got little to no hearts on tumblr, it’s always that longer one that someone didn’t read whole I presume… if it’s long I had an idea! Not always a good one, but long idea anyway

Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn’t expect?

yeah my collection of those shortest fics is currently my most read anything on ao3 like wtf

How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

there is no external pressure but internally I am in a constant state of chaos so I really have no idea what I’m doing. Sometimes I feel pressure, sometimes I don’t.

Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

are you kidding me? It makes me happy, it makes other people happy and it’s an act of creation so naturally I enjoy that. Also that bitch jkr did nothing to make them more interesting so I had to make a stand for them

What motivates you during the writing process?

a thought that “this will be fun”

Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

just write anytime you feel like writing, if you don’t have an idea for a name or some other detail, simply put [name] or [detail] and continue and it will clarify later if the character is Clark Bones, an architect who likes tomatoes or a Roan Desmond Ruttington, a gardener who killed his mother’s lover when he was twelve and noone ever found out; never let yourself stumble on some minor details and change major things AFTER you write an entire chapters or bigger parts, really, you will thank me later. Also if you write sex, please please please remember that fucking is a machine-like activity and courting and talking about it must be witty, with a good taste and if not that, at least dont be gross and remember that there is nothing less fun than gross AND boring sex scenes.

Thank you, Kiz!

Fanfiction Writing Asks

Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

Where do you get your fic ideas?

Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

How do you choose which fics to write?

How many wips do you have?  What fandoms/pairings are they for?

What’s the last line you wrote?

Post a snippet from a wip.

Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

Does this word [chosen by asker] appear in your current wip?

Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time?

Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

What is your favorite location and position to write in?

What’s your favorite time to write?

Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

Do you have a writing routine?

Do you enjoy research?  Which fic of yours required the most research?

Do you enjoy creating OCs or do you prefer to stick solely to canon characters?

Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

Do you prefer writing chaptered fics or one-shots?

Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

How do you choose whose POV to write in?

What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

What area of writing do you want to improve in?

What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

Do you use a beta reader/editor?

Do you take fic requests?  Why or why not?

Is there a specific word count that you hold yourself to/enjoy writing the most?

How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

What fic are you proudest of?

What fic has been the hardest for you to write?

What is your most self-indulgent posted story?

What’s your most self-indulgent wip?

What is your favorite world that you’ve created for a fic?

Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?

What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with?

Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

What is your favorite genre to write?

What genre/trope do you tend to write the most?

If you could only write one type of AU for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Is there a trope that you’ve written before but are now sick of?

Who is your favorite character to write for?  Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

How would you describe your writing style?

Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

What’s the average word count of your fics?

What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

What’s the fandom/pairing distribution of your posted fics?

Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Are there any fics that you would change or rewrite if given the chance?

How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

Have you participated in any fic events/writing challenges?  If yes, what were they and did you enjoy them?

In [insert fic], what inspired the idea for the plot?

In [insert fic], what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

In [insert fic], is there a deleted scene/idea you wish you could have included?  Why did it get cut?

What was the hardest part of writing [insert fic]?

If you rewrote [insert fic] now, would you change anything?

If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would happen in it?

What’s a fun fact about [insert fic]?

If a fic was titled [insert made up title], what would this story be about/how would you write it?

Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

What are your favorite fics at the moment?

Are you subscribed to any writers on AO3?

Do you spend more time reading or writing?

What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

What do you tend to get complimented on the most about your writing?

Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn’t expect?

How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

What motivates you during the writing process?

Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

Free space - asker can come up with any writing or fic-related question they want!

[merbear25]

Saw requests were open so I gotta ask: How do you think Doffy, Crocodile, and Ace would react to reader teasing them all day long by lounging around in a scandalous bikini. But when they finally go to grab her she laughs and jumps into the water saying "Oh too bad you can't join me!" before pulling off her suit and throwing it at them, knowing full well they can't go into the water without it effecting their devil fruit :) So they're stuck watching only lol (girlie pop is in trouble once she eventually has to get out PFT)

Hey! Thank you for sending this in. It was fun thinking about these men getting super flustered 🤭 I hope you like it 💜💜

You were such a tease. Flaunting your body in a skimpy bikini was like dangling meat in front of a starving lion. Oh how they couldn’t wait till you got out of that water.

CW: very suggestive, fem!reader, no explicit language but heavily implied, established relationship, teasing, heavy pining

Teasing them just to get a rise (Doffy, Crocodile, Ace)

Doffy: The warmth of the summer day kissed your body, which was scarcely covered by a bikini that complimented your curves and skin tone perfectly. You were sitting in the shade by the pool, sipping on the drink that’d been prepared for you. Trailing one of your legs against the other, you could feel his gaze intensifying. Your foot teased your skin, leaving a few goosebumps in its wake. That slight chill when contrasting with the heat made effects on your chest appear even more seductive.

Leaned back on the sofa, legs spread and arms slumped over the back rest was a man whose presence could be sensed wherever he was. Without even looking at him, you knew exactly how he was feeling—hungry. Those sunglasses may hide his eyes but left nothing to the imagination when the emotion began dancing on his complexion. A smirk that was turning into a wide grin, he could see your little scheme to rile him up coming from a mile away. However, he enjoyed the game and entertained it willingly. He would let you have your fun because you both knew who called the shots.

Never taking his eyes off of you, he smirked at how quickly you’d grown accustomed to this lifestyle: watching you call over the servant to adjust the umbrella, then basking under the sun. You were always glowing, beaming with beauty, but seeing the rays of the sun highlighting your body was the cherry on top.

You were testing him and he could feel his self-control slipping. The way you positioned yourself gave him a full view of your most mouth-watering features. Such a tease, little vixen, he’d bring an entire nation to its knees without hesitation if you so desired. Soft rises and falls of your chest was making him more and more restless. His hand moved to his inner thigh as he tilted his head to get a better look at you. Imagination running wild and free, his hand caressed that stirring feeling.

Getting up suddenly, he made his way over to you quickly. Throwing himself back on the pool chair next to you, he kept his legs spread on either side of it. The view was just as alluring from there: the slight view down that bikini, the thin material not leaving any curve in your most private areas gone unnoticed.

“Is there something you’d like to say?” You asked, already knowing the answer.

He chuckled at your confidence and leaned forward. Positioning himself on the side of the pool chair, he reached out, ghosting your body. “Not so much say as much as I want to take.”

You pulled your legs up and over the opposite side of him, letting your teasing smile settle on him. “You’re always so quick to snatch what you want. So impatient.” You wagged your finger teasingly before getting up to go to the water. “Patience is a virtue as they say,” you added before easing yourself down the stairs.

The light danced on the water and illuminated on you, adding to each feature he adored. Your eyes were locked on his. The gentle bounce of your chest from the rippling water coaxed a groan from him. Undoing the back of your top, you tossed it at him and leaned back in the pool. Your chest was caressed by the slightly chilly water. You hummed in the satisfaction of knowing how much of a hold you had on him. He could think that he was the one calling the shots, but he was the one bending over backwards to please you.

“Such a nice day. We should make the most of it, don’t you think?” You lifted your leg, practically pulling him into a strangle hold.

You could practically hear him licking his lips. “Oh, I sure do.” 

Crocodile: Lounging in the sun room, you enjoyed the warmth of the summer day on your skin. He’d passed by the room a few times in between meetings and couldn’t hold back his lingering gaze. Each dip of your curves was a wonderland for him to explore. While you laid on your stomach and read your book, you kicked your feet up and gently rubbed them together. Deep within your own world, yet aware of the contemplating man standing in the doorway.

Another meeting nipping at his heels was what pulled him away from reaching out to touch you. The long, tiring remarks of those incapable of following through with his orders kept him from pulling at the bikini strings that barely covered your most intimate parts. With a huff of irritation, he hurried off to the meeting room in hopes of getting it over with as quickly as possible.

A coy smile teased your lips at the sound of his heavy footsteps echoing down through the halls. You couldn’t help dangling yourself in front of him, stringing him along until he was ultimately a drooling mess. That was how you wanted it and you knew he craved it too—to be so consumed by his own lust. You could hear the meeting coming to a close, so you moved out by the pool, fully expecting him to come looking for you.

The sound of the glass door sliding open behind you made you smirk but wasn’t enough to call your full attention. Flipping the page, you sighed in contentment. “How were your meetings?”

“I’m sure you can guess,” he humphed.

Subtly, you arched your back, purposefully drawing more attention to your bikini bottoms. “At least now you can unwind.”

He chuckled while moving towards you. His advancements made you sit up. You looked over your shoulder, letting your eyes bat at him. Your smirk was all too telling. When you noticed him itching to reach out to touch you, you giggled playfully and went over to the water. You dipped your foot in, swirling it with the tips of your toes as you kept your eyes on him. That look of dark desire building within him only made you want to push further, fully aware that the pay-off would make it worth the risk.

“It’s too bad you’ll have to wait.” When he cocked an eyebrow at you, that lit the playful spark in you. Diving into the pool, you came up with drenched hair that accentuated your feminine features. The glistening water in the sun reflected upon you, making you appear as a goddess, forbidden fruit.

He sat down on the pool chair and rolled his tongue against his cigar absentmindedly. “Is this your way of telling me how you want the evening to play out?”

“The day’s still early, so why wait until the evening?” You allowed each word to hang off your lips as you pulled off your top and tossed it to the side.

A puff of smoke dispersed around him. “That can be arranged.”

Ace: A day by the waterfall after having spent what seemed like ages on the ship was long overdue. Your brand new bikini was something you’d been dying to wear. Coming out from behind the rocks, you caught Ace’s eye immediately. The shock of seeing you in scandalous clothing left him in a state of awe.

You giggled at him, feeling your cheeks being bitten by the heat rising within you. “You act like you’ve never seen me before.”

“Well, I haven’t seen you like this.” He smiled as you came over to lay next to him. The jungle canopy overhead still granted the sun’s rays to come through. They shined on you more than any other spot in the area, presenting you as a beauty beyond mortal comprehension. “This is nice, isn’t it?” You sighed peacefully.

“Oh, yeah, definitely,” he murmured, not able to keep his thoughts straight. Each attempt to keep his eyes off of you was in vain. You looked so relaxed lying there with the sounds of water pouring from up top the mountain.

“It’s okay to look at me,” you laughed. You caught him in a furious blush when taking a peak at him. “We’re dating. It’s fine.”

“I know but it’s not like we can actually do anything about it out here in the open.” He looked around at hearing the voices of the others nearby.

You hummed in understanding, “Perhaps.” You leaned up and placed your chin on his shoulder, “Or maybe you’re just chicken?” The teasing name calling made the tips of his ears burn red. He turned to protest, but his words failed him when your flirtatious smile beamed back at him. 

You got up to go over to the edge of the water. Your fingers ran under the lining of your bottoms, smoothing out the wrinkles on your suit, so that the fabric hugged you the way it was meant to. “A little risk makes everything more fun.” A dreamy voice wrapped around each word. 

The untying of your top got the exact reaction you wanted out of him. A soft gasp escaped him when you let it drop to the jungle floor. Keeping your back to him, you carefully walked along the flat rocks towards the waterfall. He couldn’t help himself; he came after you, having already taken off his shoes and shorts. In nothing but his boxers, he was coming up to your side.

Turning towards him, you welcomed that eager look upon his face. He stepped forward and was met with your fiery passion. A deep kiss paired with wandering hands set the both of you ablaze with fervor. You ran your hands down his chest and then swiftly untied your bottoms. Just before giving the chance to grab a handful of you, you stepped away from him. You smirked at him as his eyes roamed over exposed form. Then, you fell back into the crystal blue water.

The pure color didn’t hide any inch of you to him, only making him more pained at the sight of you—-not being able to dive in after you to fully embrace you. “You know how crazy you make me…”

“I do but I also know how much you love it,” you giggled before drifting over to the shallow end.

[da-mous]

questions like the question in the op bother me so much because SO often we end up collapsing the complexities of gender and sex down into the same oversimplified binary we're trying to break out of

the person posing the question could mean "woman" in a number of different ways

-"woman" as a social class

-"woman" as an internal understanding of oneself

-"woman" as a set of physical sex characteristics, depending on whether the person asking defines things that way

have you forgotten that to be trans is to decouple these definitions from one another, to believe one can be, say, perceived as a woman yet understand oneself to be a man?

if a trans man's employer thinks he's a woman and so regards him with less respect and pays him less, is he experiencing misogyny, or is it actually misandry because he's a man?

the only answer that makes sense to me is that it's a trick question! the answer is semantic and comes down to which of the above meanings of "woman" you're thinking of, because our language, which has largely been shaped by cis people, was not designed to capture the nuances of the trans experience

it's in the disingenuous collapsing of the nuance at the heart of questions like this that we find the most obstinate, obtuse, impenetrable arguments against the validity of our lived experiences

not only from terfs ("trans women don't experience misogyny, because they're not women")

but from transmasc exclusionists as well ("trans men have male privilege, because they're men")

now is VERY much not the time to be flattening your own definition of gender back down to a simplistic binary in the interest of dividing us from our transmasc brothers

i think im going to lose my fucking mind actually.

this little make believe game that yall are playing where ur all pretending that we have always been passing as cis men is honestly just really sickening to read. as if trans men have never been sexually harassed or abused because society perceives us as women. im genuinely of the opinion that u all just do not believe trans men face misogyny and thats so unbelievably fucked up and just not based in reality. its actually disgusting and vile.

[alexanderwales]

I finished rewatching Death Note. I always forget how short anime is, with episodes that aren't much more than 20 minutes when you skip the intro/outro.

I hadn't remembered how much of a sniveling wreck LIght was at the end of the show. There's something about the ending that makes it feel like it was written and directed by a different person, not that Light wasn't always a little weird and pathetic, and not that the show didn't consistently go out of its way to let us know what a piece of shit he was (particularly his absolute lack of loyalty or empathy to anyone, even aside from the megalomania). But he takes the loss like a loser, snot dripping from his nose, voice cracking, begging, and it's so pathetic that I almost felt a little sorry for him.

I've always found the Death Note to be a very interesting prompt, one of those hooks that's so good I'd want to watch it even if it was bad. But in writing something like Death Note, the author has to make decisions about what to show and what not to show, and also make decisions about how they're going to portray the public at large.

There are two big things that stand out for me.

One is that we never get someone arguing against Kira. We get people who are actively trying to hunt him down, but they're mostly not stopping to say "this is why what he's doing is wrong" except a few lines about how he has a childish sense of justice, which is never expounded upon. Kira, on the other hand, we hear a lot from, not just the megalomaniac stuff, but the notion that criminals must be punished, that this is what people desire in their hearts. I get the strong sense that L does not actually care and just views this as an interesting puzzle for him to solve, but for everyone else it's largely left as an exercise to the viewer, and even then, there are moments when some of our task force members come dangerously close to endorsement.

To the extent the show has an answer, it's that (to quote Kanye West) no one man should have all that power, or that Kira has crossed a lot of lines, but no one argues in favor of rehabilitation or clemency or just fundamental humanity. Kira seems to largely be killing prisoners, who have already been sentenced, and are wards of the state, and he says "this is what people want deep down, they will give you the politically correct answer but they actually want the criminal class to be obliterate", which ... there's no character who actually voices any opposition to through the whole series. And I find that weird, because yes, the show has its own answers in terms of how it plays out, but in a show filled with people possessed of immense conviction, most of the people in opposition to Kira are just intellectuals who don't actually give a shit about the ideological question.

(The one big moment when it comes to a head, IMO, is when Soichiro Yagami refuses to write Mello's name entirely because of his principled objection to killing someone. I thought this was great, and I wish the show had more of it.)

The other big thing is that we don't really get a viewpoint of the criminals, with a few exceptions. One is the is Yotsuba group, who are killing people with the Death Note, and the second is the (somehow still functional) mafia that Mello hangs out with. There's also one other scene somewhere after L's death where we see a criminal begging with the police not to have his name written down, and that's about it.

The naive view here is that the show really does believe in Criminals as being a part The Other, a different sort of human being who walk among us. The criminal class are described as rotten and evil, they're shown as grotesque and with exaggerated features or bestial characteristics, and they're generally leering and impulsive. There is no consideration of their humanity.

There's a more nuanced take here, which is that we have a criminal as one of our main cast, Light Yagami, along with everyone else who takes on the Kira mantle. So what is the show saying about criminality through how it portrays them? And here ... I don't know. I kind of don't think that it views them as criminals in the same way? When we look at the ways that Light kills, I genuinely do think that the show thinks that this is different from the way that a capital-C Criminals kill. It's reactionary rather than criminal in and of itself, a response to the injustices of the world rather than being in the same class as those injustices. Light is narratively exempted, and Misa is to. Which isn't to say that I think the show thinks highly of Light, it clearly doesn't, especially in its ending, but I almost think that in the end it Others him too (and also has Teru Mikami drawn in particularly 'evil' style, like a creepy deviant gremlin).

So I enjoyed the rewatch, but there are things that sit a little oddly with me as far as the central themes go. There's probably some discourse I should read that's come out since I first watched it in ... 2010 or whenever, but I think I'll give that a skip.

[cry-stars]

Komaeda and Dementia: Part 1 of 5: Introduction and Overview of FTD

Hi everyone!

I’m an aspiring Komaedologist with an interest in dementia. I often see people doubting Komaeda’s stated diagnosis of frontotemporal dementia, since it presents differently in him than in the common portrayal of dementia in the media. While his portrayal may not be completely accurate, there is a lot of truth to it, and there are many symptoms visible in-game. I wanted to share a few posts about dementia symptoms that we do see canonically in Komaeda’s portrayals in SDR2 and DR:AE, and share some information regarding his specific diagnosis as opposed to Alzheimers, for example.

I work with people living with dementia as a recreation worker. This means that I see them living their daily lives, and know about difficulties they might have with recreational or day to day activities. There are a lot of observations that I might make that can’t be backed up scientifically yet, but do make sense in a practical way. Everyone with dementia is different, and since I work with seniors for the most part, some observations won’t transfer onto Komaeda. However, I’ll do my best to back up whatever I can with sources.

This post is just for fun and to give people ideas. It means a lot to me to see a fascinating and endearing character like Komaeda portrayed with dementia, since it is a sad and terminal disease, and I usually see it end badly in my job, so I hope to give people ideas on how to portray it, or just to notice things in a different way they might not have before!

My main sources for this post and the following ones include “Dementia Diaries,” which is a really cool project where people with dementia talk about their experiences, National Institute on Aging, Alzheimer’s Association, Alzheimer’s Society, and my own work experience. I plan on doing more posts about specific symptoms that we see in Komaeda later, but I would be happy to hear from other people who have dementia knowledge, or to answer any questions that I can.

For the most part, I'm only going to be talking about SDR2 and a little bit of DR:AE. I haven't finished watching the anime yet and have not read any of the manga. If anyone has ideas from any of those sources, I would love to hear about them!

Overview of FTD: Which Variant does Komaeda Have?

There are two major forms of frontotemporal dementia. The first, which Komaeda likely has, is the behavioural variant (BvFTD), which is also the most likely for young people to develop. This variant of FTD mainly affects behaviour, empathy, judgement, and planning.

Komaeda is less likely to have the other variant of FTD, primary progressive aphasia. This form of FTD mainly affects language skills, including speech and comprehension.

Komaeda doesn’t seem to have very much trouble with understanding the concrete content of what people say to him, but he does occasionally seem to have trouble fully comprehending hidden meanings behind statements (for example, taking statements literally rather than as sarcastic). To me though, this is less connected to him not being able to understand the words or content of statements, and more not picking up on the emotions hidden in the statements (which I’ll address more in the behavior post). He does seem to have some trouble with word-finding in the Japanese version of the game, but again, it doesn't inhibit his ability to express himself given enough time to speak.

Another thing to note about FTD is that, in its early stages, it mainly affects behaviour and language processing, as stated above, rather than memory. In later stages, memory does start to be affected as well, but it’s different from Alzheimers (probably the most well-known form of dementia) in that memory loss isn’t the main symptom.

FTD’s prognosis is about 6-8 years. Komaeda states in his fifth free time event that his life expectancy is between half a year and one year. However, he is also referring to his lymphoma diagnosis, meaning he expected to die from a combination of both illnesses within that time frame. In SDR2, Komaeda is probably in the early to middle stages of FTD, since he was diagnosed right before entering Hope’s Peak, and was a Remnant of Despair for some time without treatment, so while we can see evidence of memory issues (which I will address in another post), it’s something he’s able to cope with and isn’t a debilitating symptom yet.

One more observation: while dementia as a whole is usually seen in elderly people, Komaeda’s specific frontotemporal dementia diagnosis has an earlier age of onset, usually between ages 40-65, and is rarely seen in elderly people. Even though being diagnosed in high school seems unlikely, it is not impossible. According to Alzheimer Society Canada, early-onset or young-onset dementia (between ages 18 and 65) accounts for 2-8% of all dementia cases.

Thank you for reading! I plan on making five posts total. The other post topics will be Outward Behaviour, Judgement/Thought Processes, Other Symptoms, and Writing Ideas.

[seitmai]

She hummed, looking over your recent arrangement with a proud gaze. “I can understand that. It’s been a bit since you’ve been in a relationship,” she said, giving your arm a small squeeze. “But don’t be too apprehensive, dear. It’s okay to let someone in.” You bit your tongue when you wanted to blurt out that Bucky didn’t just let himself in. He tore through your life and made a home for himself in the ashes. But Mrs. Crandle meant well and didn’t know what was going on.

Mrs. Cradle probably means well but let's calm down a bit 🥴

“I can work through it. There are still a few orders to finish,” you protested, which was a reasonable excuse. “I’m not making you work through lunch.” She looked offended by the very idea. And of course, she wouldn’t give you an out. Like most of your small circle of friends and loved ones, they wanted you to find a partner. “And don’t worry about the orders, dear. You two lovebirds go and take as long as you want.”

She truly is too nice 😬

Much like walking into the club, you felt out of place as you walked through the cafe. Not because it wasn’t your scene, but because of the special sort of treatment. You didn’t want it. Though the ambience of the fairy lights and privacy would’ve been sweet and romantic otherwise.

That's so eerie 🫣

Bucky’s hand lingered until she was out of sight. “I don’t appreciate that she didn’t look your way,” he said, shrugging his jacket off before he took a seat. You could see the tension in his shoulders, his gloved left hand flexing slightly. “It’s clear that we’re here together on a lunch date.” “No, it’s not. It’s disrespectful. I’m here with you. I’m not interested in her or anyone else.” His eyes were as cold as ice when he pushed the menu away, making you shiver. “I’m not like my dad.” “I know I’m the only one you see,” you said, reaching over to touch his hand. He took it the second it was within reach. You didn’t think he’d do anything to hurt or damage the hostess in any way over something harmless in your eyes, but maybe offering a bit of assurance would distract him. “I don’t know your dad, but I can sense that you aren’t him.”

Ohhh this is something that truly gets his gears turning

He observed you, almost in morbid curiosity as you waited for him to respond. You knew what the answer was going to be, but you wanted to believe your paranoia was getting to you. “First, your apartment isn’t your home. The penthouse is going to be our home together and maybe that’ll finally sink in once you’re living there,” he answered, your eyes wide. “And second, of course I have bugs around your place. Visual, audio, you name it. I’m not exactly trying to hide that I’m watching you as much as possible.”

The way he says it so nonchalantly is truly mind boggling 🥴

“You’re not exactly trying to hide it? You hid it by not telling me!” You accused him, the gaslighting bastard. “How could you do that?” He shrugged, which only upset you more. “Mentioning the collar was a pretty big hint. Do you really think I’d bring it up if I didn’t want you to know I was watching or listening in?” “You…” You let out a breath and swallowed back tears. He really did want you to know. “You want me to feel scared, don't you, like when you broke in. Because when you scare me or make me feel uneasy, you can control me more and get me to do what you want. You’re sick.”

What she said ☝🏻

You swallowed thickly. He was never going to budge. “You sit there and act like you’re a decent guy because you haven’t forced yourself on me and you won’t raise a hand to me, but you’re still a monster,” you said, your gaze vulnerable and open. He had to see how upset you were, how he caused you to feel. His expression didn’t change, except for his eyes. They looked as sad as you felt. “Maybe I am,” he whispered.

This is heavy...

“I…” You went silent when he slid a hand up your torso and rested it on your chest. Could you play along to calm him down? “I guess we can go shopping. Nothing too fancy, right?” “Whatever makes you happy. I just want my girl to be happy.” He groaned when you willingly ran your fingers through his hair. “And you’ll love me like I love you. I know you will.”

This just makes my skin crawl 🥴

Hold You Tight: Part 11

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.

Part 10 | Series Masterlist | Part 12

Chapter Summary: Bucky reveals a small piece of his past and also confirms one of your suspicions.

Chapter Word Count: Over 3.6k

Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, tension, unease, possessiveness, inner turmoil, gaslighting, manipulation, mention of stalking, slight feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.

A/N: More Hold You Tight and hope you enjoy! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You busied yourself with orders after Clark left, but it didn’t stop you from looking toward the door every few minutes. You weren’t sure if you were expecting him to return or if you were anticipating Bucky arriving. Why were you allowing him to consume your thoughts again? You needed to concentrate on your job, the thing you loved and helped pay your bills.

Mrs. Crandle gave you a smile when you checked the time, too. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were excited to see this young man who thinks he’s your boyfriend,” she commented.

“I don’t know if excited is the word I’d use,” you said, trying to smile through your nerves. “Apprehensive, maybe?”

She hummed, looking over your recent arrangement with a proud gaze. “I can understand that. It’s been a bit since you’ve been in a relationship,” she said, giving your arm a small squeeze. “But don’t be too apprehensive, dear. It’s okay to let someone in.”

You bit your tongue when you wanted to blurt out that Bucky didn’t just let himself in. He tore through your life and made a home for himself in the ashes. But Mrs. Crandle meant well and didn’t know what was going on. “Well, he offered to be my date to Addison’s wedding and she was very happy to hear that.”

“Oh, I’ll bet she’s thrilled for you,” she said. Addison stopped by the shop a few times and your boss adored her and the friendship you two had. “And if I’m not mistaken, that’s your date walking in,” she smiled, nodding toward the door.

Your stomach dropped when Bucky entered the shop with a tender smile on his face. “Hi, doll,” he said, heading right to you and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I hope I’m not too early to take you to lunch, but I don’t mind waiting if you’re busy.”

“Oh, it’s not too early at all,” Mrs. Crandle said before you could protest. “It’s nice to see such a fine young man take one of my best workers to lunch.”

Bucky put his right hand to his chest. “A fine young man? You flatter me, Mrs. Crandle. It is Mrs. Crandle, right?” He held the same hand out after she nodded. Of course, he knew her name. You almost smacked his arm away, not wanting the man who disrupted your life to touch your boss. “Everyone calls me Bucky. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, too,” she said, giving you a wink. One smile from the man and she was under his spell. “I hear the two of you may be attending Addison’s wedding together.”

You gave her a pointed look when Bucky smiled your way, wishing she hadn’t brought it up. She either ignored your stare or didn’t notice. “That’s the plan. I know the day will be all about Addison and Brady, as it should be, but my eyes will be on my girl,” Bucky smiled, giving the shop an appreciative look as your stomach flipped. “And it’s easy to see why she loves working here. You have a beautiful place.”

“Thank you. It really is a group effort to keep this place alive,” she said, turning her attention to you. “Well, what are you waiting for? Get your bag and go enjoy your lunch.”

“I can work through it. There are still a few orders to finish,” you protested, which was a reasonable excuse.

“I’m not making you work through lunch.” She looked offended by the very idea. And of course, she wouldn’t give you an out. Like most of your small circle of friends and loved ones, they wanted you to find a partner. “And don’t worry about the orders, dear. You two lovebirds go and take as long as you want.”

Lovebirds?

“I’ll try not to keep her too long,” Bucky said as you went to get your purse. “So, how long have you owned your shop?”

You blocked out the chatter between them, taking a breath to steady yourself. How many times had you imagined a boyfriend surprising you at work just because they wanted to take you to lunch? Or even just because they wanted to see you? You got your wish, didn’t you?

“I’ll be back soon,” you smiled as Bucky wrapped an arm around your lower back, crowding your space like always. Mrs. Crandle looked over the moon and you made sure the smile stayed on your face until Bucky led you out of the shop. “Sucking up to my boss? Really?”

Bucky chuckled. “I wasn’t sucking up. Just making conversation,” he said. The small conversation won her over. “And didn't you try to get Ray on your side this morning?”

He had a point, but you ignored it. “Where are we eating?” You asked, though you didn’t have much of an appetite.

“I got us a table at a cafe close by,” he said, tightening his arm around you. “I figured you wouldn’t want to go far in case you had to get back to work.”

“That’s thoughtful,” you said, though it was actually nice that he didn’t want you to venture far.

“I’m a thoughtful guy,” he teased. Making sure it was safe to go, he helped you cross the street. Ray stayed in the car, but you sensed him watching and wondered if he’d join you. “And I got us a private table on the back patio. No one should bother us.”

“They do private tables at this cafe?” You asked as he held the door open with a smirk. He probably threw a bit of money their way to make it happen and you almost wished there would be others around so you’d feel a bit more comfortable.

“Welcome, Mr. Barnes,” a woman smiled, not bothering to look your way as she grabbed a couple of menus. “We have your table set up if you’ll follow me,” she said, gesturing for you to head to the back.

Much like walking into the club, you felt out of place as you walked through the cafe. Not because it wasn’t your scene, but because of the special sort of treatment. You didn’t want it. Though the ambience of the fairy lights and privacy would’ve been sweet and romantic otherwise.

“The server should be here in a moment, but please let me know if you need anything,” the hostess smiled, her gaze lingering on Bucky as he pulled out your chair. “Anything at all, Mr. Barnes.”

You felt a bit small as you sat down and eyed the hostess. It was her job to be friendly, but she hadn’t exactly acknowledged you and made it obvious that she specifically wanted Bucky’s attention. You wouldn’t say you were jealous and part of you understood why she’d want him to look her way. Still, wouldn’t the general assumption be that you two were a couple?

We are not a couple.

You looked up at Bucky when he rested a hand on your shoulder, but there was nothing flirtatious or warm about the smile on his face. “If my girl or I need anything, we’ll say so,” he said in a cool and courteous tone.

“Of course.” The hostess faltered slightly as she set the menus down, but recovered quickly. “Enjoy,” she added, scurrying off.

Bucky’s hand lingered until she was out of sight. “I don’t appreciate that she didn’t look your way,” he said, shrugging his jacket off before he took a seat. You could see the tension in his shoulders, his gloved left hand flexing slightly. “It’s clear that we’re here together on a lunch date.”

Your eyes flickered to him as he looked over the menu, his jaw clenched. The hostess giving him attention bothered him much more than it bothered you. “It’s okay, Bucky,” you said.

“No, it’s not. It’s disrespectful. I’m here with you. I’m not interested in her or anyone else.” His eyes were as cold as ice when he pushed the menu away, making you shiver. “I’m not like my dad.”

“I know I’m the only one you see,” you said, reaching over to touch his hand. He took it the second it was within reach. You didn’t think he’d do anything to hurt or damage the hostess in any way over something harmless in your eyes, but maybe offering a bit of assurance would distract him. “I don’t know your dad, but I can sense that you aren’t him.”

At least, he wasn’t entirely like him. His ruthlessness came from something or someone. His dad may fit the bill.

“He cheated on my mom when she was nothing but good to him. She was good to everyone and he threw it back in her face,” he sneered. You could practically taste the bitterness from his words and it broke your heart. It was no wonder he wanted you to believe so badly that he’d be faithful to you. “And I’m glad that piece of shit will never lay eyes on you or anyone else.”

“I’m so sorry,” you said, aching for the pain his mom likely experienced and him by extension. Regardless of the man he was, he held his mom in high regard and she didn’t deserve an unfaithful partner. “I know that doesn’t change anything, but I am.”

Bucky’s gaze softened considerably. “I know you are and I appreciate that more than you know.” He rubbed a thumb over your skin, his shoulders starting to relax. “The cheating wasn’t even the worst of it,” he muttered before the server walked in with a pitcher of water.

What else did his dad do?

“Hi. I’ll be taking care of you today,” the server smiled, sweeping a look over both of you as he poured each of you a glass. Bucky barely smiled back. He didn’t want people ignoring you, but he didn’t want gazes lingering for too long either. “Have you had a chance to look over the menu or would you like something else to drink?”

“I’m fine with water and I think we’re ready,” you said, pointing out one of the entrees. You didn’t want to draw out lunch longer than it had to be. “Thank you.”

“I’ll have the same. And take your time,” Bucky said, handing the menus back. His smile didn’t brighten again until the server left. “Talking about my dad is dampening the mood. How’s work going today?”

The subject change was jarring, but you imagined he didn’t want to dwell on the unpleasant topic. It also wasn’t a good time to ask about his mom and the flowers. “Work is fine.”

“Just fine?”

You debated if you should say anything about Clark. You didn’t want him on Bucky’s radar, but what if Bucky somehow found out and you didn’t say anything? Telling him was the better option. “Well, there’s a regular customer who stopped in. He’s going through a break-up and actually tried to give me a couple of roses since I was kind to him, but I didn’t take them,” you explained, trying not to make a big deal of it.

The glint in Bucky’s eyes made you nervous, but you knew any malice wasn't aimed your way. “He tried to give you roses and you didn’t take them?” He asked evenly.

“No, I didn’t. I told him to give them to someone else as I’m very much not interested in getting flowers. Except maybe from you,” you assured him, his lips twitching up. That was a good sign. “What about you? How’s work?” You added, hoping to shift the topic back to him.

A moment of silence passed before he nodded. “If he persists or bothers you, let me know first thing and I’ll take care of it,” he said. You had a feeling the topic of Clark was far from done and you didn’t want to know how he’d take care of it. “I do have to go to the club late tonight, but I was thinking we could go shopping after your shift.”

“Shopping?” You raised an eyebrow. “Shopping for what?”

“I did offer to get you a new outfit for your girls day,” he said, rubbing circles on your hand. “And a collar.”

The nagging feeling in the back of your mind went off. That was the second time he brought that up. One would think he was doing it on purpose. “You know, I mentioned you getting me a collar, but that was something I said when I was alone this morning. Along with a couple of other things you've mentioned, it’s too much of a coincidence to me that you’re suggesting it,” you said carefully, sitting up straighter. “Do you have cameras or something in my home? Be honest, please.”

He observed you, almost in morbid curiosity as you waited for him to respond. You knew what the answer was going to be, but you wanted to believe your paranoia was getting to you. “First, your apartment isn’t your home. The penthouse is going to be our home together and maybe that’ll finally sink in once you’re living there,” he answered, your eyes wide. “And second, of course I have bugs around your place. Visual, audio, you name it. I’m not exactly trying to hide that I’m watching you as much as possible.”

You felt sick at the admission, thankful that you hadn’t eaten anything. How much did he see and hear? Did he listen to your talk with Addison? Watch you shower? Sleep? He continued to violate your privacy and had no shame at all in doing so. Enough was enough.

“You’re not exactly trying to hide it? You hid it by not telling me!” You accused him, the gaslighting bastard. “How could you do that?”

He shrugged, which only upset you more. “Mentioning the collar was a pretty big hint. Do you really think I’d bring it up if I didn’t want you to know I was watching or listening in?”

“You…” You let out a breath and swallowed back tears. He really did want you to know. “You want me to feel scared, don't you, like when you broke in. Because when you scare me or make me feel uneasy, you can control me more and get me to do what you want. You’re sick.”

He reached out and gripped your hand again before you could push yourself away from the table. “I thought we established that I’m not trying to control you. How many times do I have to say it?”

“And yet everything you do says otherwise,” you said. It was all a tactic to him. A game. “When will your actions back up your words?”

“I told you this morning my place is safer than yours. The security measures in your building are a joke. Do you realize how easy it was for me to get in and to break into your place? I hardly broke a sweat and that means anyone could get in and get to you. So, yes, there are devices in place so I can make sure you’re safe when I’m not there.” He shook his head at your glare. His reasoning didn’t excuse his actions. “I understand if you’re mad at me, but I did say I won’t give you a choice when it comes to your safety and I won’t apologize for that either.”

You stared at each other, his gaze as firm as his stance. As much as you wanted to throw something, the dishes weren’t yours and you didn’t want to create a mess for the staff to clean up. “You’re really telling yourself you’re watching me for my protection? Who the hell is going to protect me from you, Bucky?” You took a breath when his eyes widened, as if your words hurt him. “No one, with the exception of you, is going to break into my place for any reason. I have nothing of value there, except for the necklace you gave me.”

“You are valuable,” he said, squeezing your hand and resolute in that belief. “How can you not see that?”

“Because I’m just a regular person and there’s nothing wrong with that.” Your voice shook, but you couldn't stop. “With the exception of you, no one will look twice at me, let alone break into my place.”

He shook his head. “You don’t know that.”

“No, I don’t because life is unpredictable and watching me doesn’t guarantee that nothing will happen to me,” you said, narrowing your eyes in thought. “Is this really about protecting me or are you projecting what your dad did to your mom on me? Do you think I won’t be faithful to you in this ‘relationship’ you think we have, so you have to watch me at all times to prove I’m yours?”

Bucky made a sound like you hit him and asking was a bit of a low blow, but it was a possibility. “Kotyonok, you’re one of the most loyal and faithful people I know. You’d never do anything to make me question that.”

“You trust me?” You asked softly. He nodded without hesitation. “Then help me trust you. Get the devices out of my place for starters since you had no right to put them there to begin with. Please, get rid of them.”

You’d never feel completely safe or comfortable there again, you hadn't since he broke in, but he had to give you that.

“I'll get rid of them,” he said after a moment.

That felt too easy, but you felt relief all the same. “Thank you. That's-”

“After you move into the penthouse because I'm not going to give a shit about the people who move into your apartment after you,” he clarified.

You swallowed thickly. He was never going to budge. “You sit there and act like you’re a decent guy because you haven’t forced yourself on me and you won’t raise a hand to me, but you’re still a monster,” you said, your gaze vulnerable and open. He had to see how upset you were, how he caused you to feel.

His expression didn’t change, except for his eyes. They looked as sad as you felt. “Maybe I am,” he whispered.

The server chose the perfect time to show up with your meals. “Here we are!” he announced, setting the food down and taking no notice of the heavy tension between you and Bucky. “Enjoy.”

Neither of you spoke as you ate, but he watched you expectantly. He wasn’t going to change his mind about the bugs in your apartment or anything else and he didn’t deserve your fire. So you had nothing to say. Nothing at all. You were exactly what he called you: a doll.

“Don’t you dare,” he finally spoke when you took money out of your wallet and set it on the table. “This is a date and I’m paying.”

“This isn’t a date, Bucky, no matter how much you want it to be,” you said quietly, his eyes flashing. “And I need to go back to work.”

You gasped when he bent the fork he held in his left hand, your heart pounding in fear as you looked around. The server hadn’t been back to check on you and the two of you were all alone. What was he going to do? “What? You think I’m going to hurt you after I promised I wouldn’t?” He asked, setting the destroyed utensil down. “Because I’m a monster, right?”

“I didn’t…” You couldn’t say you didn’t mean it because you did, but deep down it wasn’t your intention to make him angry. You should’ve known better, but your emotions were getting the better of you when you had to play it smart.

“A monster who hurts people?” He asked in a deep voice you didn’t recognize. “Kills people?”

You gripped the sides of your chair, fear creeping in more. “Bucky, what are you talking about?” You whispered. Why was he saying that?

He blinked and shook his head. “Why won’t you just let me love you?” He asked, suddenly getting up to round the table. He pulled your chair out before you could get up and dropped to his knees, uncaring of ruining his pants. “All I want is you,” he whispered, resting his head in your lap.

Your body went taut when his hands moved up your thighs. Did he remember or care that you were at a cafe? “I-I know you want me.”

“I know the bugs in your place are upsetting and I know I’m being stubborn about it, so let me make it up to you a little bit, please?” He asked, lifting his head to gaze at you. “Let me take you shopping tonight. Let me spoil you.”

“I…” You went silent when he slid a hand up your torso and rested it on your chest. Could you play along to calm him down? “I guess we can go shopping. Nothing too fancy, right?”

“Whatever makes you happy. I just want my girl to be happy.” He groaned when you willingly ran your fingers through his hair. “And you’ll love me like I love you. I know you will.”

You waved off the server when he tried to check on you and gave Bucky a shaky smile. You’d go shopping with him, keep him happy, and pray he wouldn’t continue to suffocate you with his version of love. It was too late though. The very oxygen you breathed now was what he fed into your lungs. And the monster that lurked beneath the surface, the one who needed you, was eventually going to break through and get what he wanted.

Maybe he’d get a taste tonight.

So, I wanted a bit of action in this part, but the muse refused. I swear the conversations are happening for a reason and we may see some action during the shopping trip. What are we going to do knowing your place really is bugged? And is he going to look into Clark more? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[manachiichan]

Rooting for you

(Headcanons)

Synopsis: An Alternate reality where you ended up with the Marines instead. Having watched the series, you could only trust Koby with your well being.

Pairing: Koby x Isekaid!Fem!Reader

Spoilers from Water 7 and Marineford! Part of my Isekai series!

Mentions of having majored in marine biology cuz why not...

Just request for part two if anyone wants more...!

|| One Piece Masterlist ||

"Hey...Is she alive?"

"She just fell out of nowhere..."

"Um....Excuse me...?"

Hearing murmurs of concern and skeptism, you moved slightly before letting out a groan as the sun's ray hit your form. You winced as the light stings your slightly drowzy eyes, slowly opening them, you see dozen of figures looming over your form.

All of them being men wearing a white uniform vest and white caps. Your half concious self immediately panicked, overthinking of multiple possibilities the moment your gaze saw that almost every single one of them were armed.

You were lying on a wooden floor, in your pajamas, having no clue of what was going on. The last thing, you remembered was cramming up for 2 days straight for your upcoming exams, before passing out, the moment you took a break.

And somehow...You sat there, having a mental breakdown with a group of unindentified individuals, thinking that you were somehow kidnapped.

"What's the hell is all commotions is about...?"

A burly old man who wore a white suit, an animal hat and a huge coat like cape came through the crowd. He look like he had just woken up from a nap with how annoyed he was.

"Huh...? Who is this little girl...?"

You blinked. You know this man, and somehow you couldn't help but raise a finger on where you have seen him before..

But you soon got your answer when two smaller figures pushed through the crowds.

'No way...'

Pink hair, that noticeable scar underneat a green floral bandana and dark purple glasses. A long haired blonde man besides him. The same pink haired man knelt infront of you with an concerned look on his face.

You would have commented that it was a good cosplay but there was no way they were not real.

"Are you okay, miss...?"

Those gentle tone of pure concern, no cosplay could never replicate one of the characters you personally know and love.

You were in One Piece.

More importantly infront of the eyes of the marines.

"...Huh...?!"

Even if the marines were literary the noble good guys/heroes in the eyes of the people, they were still one of the major antagonists of the whole franchise.

So you were honestly freaking out, that you couldn't help but become feral every time one of those marine npcs tried to approach you. You knew they meant well and was only trying to make you feel at ease around them, but you couldn't help it.

You were watching the series on the pirates' perspectives and that gave you a bad impression of them.

After the whole fiasco, seeing that they were more of the threat to you than you were to them, they began treating you as if you were a delicated flower. As you were terrified, confused and unarmed, the definition of a prey under the watchful gaze of predators.

And with how their sense of justice is, it almost seems unfair for you. In their eyes, you're mostly an innocent civilian. Suspicious but purely innocent in a way.

And for the most part, you somehow understood their behavior. You were in the world where men would literary fawn over any beautiful women that they would let her trample over them. You can't help but question once in a while, how ridiculous and stupid that logic is.

And you are a woman, you couldn't help but wonder how good looking you were in their eyes for even allowing you to do what you want in their ship.

"Which Island are you from?"

"Not here..."

"North, South, East, or West blue? Where from there?"

"No where..."

Garp was mostly laid-back around you. Although he asked a few questions regarding where you lived since he was hoping to drop you off at the nearest habitable Island they see.

But there was something that made him stop, so he decided to just let you be.

You were mostly honest with him, although you decide against on telling him that you were from another world where his was nothing but fictional.

Besides, he could always knock you out with a single punch if you turned out to be a threat.

And truth to be told, you have nowhere else to go. So he took pity on that.

Because you were a helpless woman who have no where else to go, his men literary went on strike when they heard that he was about to throw you off on an island, like how he did with his grandsons

What he didn't know was, as a student who has zero sleep and tends to over think over the most simplest things, you already thought ahead and made plans on what you have to do if you want to last long.

After reading a few isekai manga and transmigration korean manhwas in your little spare time, you decided to use the knowledge of the plot and wikipedia that you have already memorized by heart.

So far, the marines are the safest options to be with if you want to survive.

Even if they keep getting their ass kicked by the worst generations and pirates who has more than hundred million bounties.

But even so, they were still trained professionals, its either that or die trying to adapt.

And out of all the marines in Garp's ship, Koby was the safest option.

You followed him around like a lost child and he was happy to help you to adjust on the ship.

And since, Koby is a literal sweetheart, He doesn't mind you constantly being around him. Infact, he found it flattering how you trust him out of everyone on the ship.

And where Koby is, there is also Helmeppo. He was suspicious of you at first but gradually warmed up to you.

And now you have an older brother figure who is also your bodyguard, throwing glares at any unwanted attention thay his fellow marines constantly throw.

"It's gonna storm soon, better to be prepare..."

"Ah...Theres gonna be a pirate ship in that horizon...Shouldn't you go after them...?"

".....Someone will fall on that stairs soon...."

As days passed, somehow, you noticed how you were able to predict things before it could happen.

Was it a somehow gift from the god who sent you into this world? Anyways, you took that to your advantage and now you're pretty more useful than before.

And since then, almost every single soldier on board had been constantly asking you on predicting the weather or even their own luck.

Koby would fret on overworking yourself seeing how dark your eyebags had become.

"Are you getting enough sleep? Do you need to visit the infirmatory..?

"Koby, I'm fine. This is a normal thing I often do back home..."

"Not sleeping is normal?! You could kill yourself at this rate....!"

Eventually he put his foot down, scolding anyone who even tried to ask you to use your new ability...

Eventually words gotten really quick, or maybe the marines reported back to the headquarters since even Sengoku is made aware of your existence.

Your ability is quite useful, so he inlisted you as a cadet in the navy much to your distain.

But hey, you managed to convince Garp to go easy on you, since you would never even survive his training.

And you learned it the hard way. Your body is otherworldly, and is a bit different from the body of steel that these characters have. You would never survive being tossed to the mountains...

Because well....It's Garp.

Koby had taken over your training. Teaching you combat in the most gentle ways he could do. One in a while, Helmeppo would join you two and pointing out the wrongs, helping you out with correcting the techniques they use.

This brought the three of you closer than before. Now, everyone expects you to be either with one of them if they seek you out.

But most of the time, you were with Koby. And if he was busy, you would be with Helmeppo, either asking for pointers or even fooling around.

But if they weren't available......you were with Garp. He learned to tone down his training with you after he literary sent you to the infirmatory with a single punch.

And you didn't heal up completely until a month later. Putting your training on stand by.

Again, his men literary forgot that he's their vice admiral with how they literary ganged up on them for breaking your fragile bones like that.

Until Garp's ship sailed to Water 7, you immediately knew what was up...

Koby and Helmeppo were really confused. You were literally just dying from training a few minutes ago. But as soon as they mentioned going to Water 7, it was as if you came back from the dead.

"Is there something wrong, (Name)-san...?"

"You wouldn't understand, Koby..."

You fawned over Luffy and Zoro as soon as you saw them... They both look amazing in person...! Minus the fact that you could literally smell their body odors from miles away.

Sometimes, you wonder why the women of their crew managed to survive smelling their scents all the time.

At least Koby and Helmeppo bathes often. They knew how important personal hygiene is anyways.

Yet somehow, you can't help but feel that you betrayed both Koby and Helmeppo, given that the blonde was giving you a look of disbelief and betrayal, seeing how you literally cheered the pirates over them.

The betrayal...! You're not his little sibling anymore!

Although, Koby was happy that he was able to introduce you to his friend. He can't help but feel that you were much more of a fan than he ever was.

Especially Zoro. You just won't stop staring at him. Especially ok those hard muscles of his.

But at that moment, a thought came into his mind. At this point, you know a lot more about everyone than they know about you. It made him feel guilty that he barely knew anything about your likes or dislikes.

So he made more effort to get to know you better.

You have a vast knowledge of the sea, much to the marines' surprise. Koby couldn't help but smile, seeing the way your eyes sparkled as you rambled on about ocean life. The ecosystem of the water around them and the life in it.

Although you couldn't read the world's letters, he was happy enough to teach you read and write. Giving him an opportunity to get close to you more.

And once in a while, Koby found himself, having to spend his night shifts with you, reading you books of the Grand line's marine biology. Watching your every reaction.

The way you have a huge smile on your face and how you turn to him with an excited look, showing a page of something you liked and wanted to share with him.

And without having to reveal that much to him, you would talk about your old life back home before your sudden transmigration. How you were simply struggling to meet ends, studying hard for exams. Getting a degree, although you doubt that will happen now that you were here.

Koby understood now. Why do you look on the verge of passing out when you first came onboard the Vice Admiral's ship. How you were frantic about not being able to take the exams anymore and how he had to calm you down.

Compared to those days, you look more alive and vibrant as the months pass by. You were more closed off but now, you were willing to share this much about yourself.

"(Name)-san...Do you like spending time with us...?"

"Ofcourse...! You guys literally took me in when I needed it the most. I like being here with you..."

Your comment made his heart thump louder than usual. There was relief and joy when he heard your words and something he couldn't understand.

He shook his head, deciding to ignore the odd yet pleasant sensation in his stomach for now.

He really likes spending time with you, too. He likes how you really paid a lot of attention and never once tried to make him uncomfortable.

And you managed to worm yourself into Helmeppo's good side too. It was as if you knew what to say around them.

You can't tell them that you basically watched the whole series, read the manga and even binge read the entire one piece wikipedia though.

Until the report of the upcoming war came. Koby noticed how your demeanour suddenly changed.

You were more anxious than usual. You even lack sleep, as if you reverted back to the time, you first suddenly appeared on the ship.

You were muttering and mumbling more than usual, always lost in deep thoughts.

"...I'm....running out of time....."

".....I...should make a difference....but given how I still lack the skills...."

"Can I......save.....him....?"

You asked Garp himself to finally train you again, much to everyone's surprise. There was a look of determination on your face. You were on a personal mission anyways.

Garp thought that you were finally growing some backbone so he didn't think that much of it. You were now a marine. You can take on a little training.

Little means hell. But Garp is clearly slightly holding back due to your body not being used nor exposed to this kind of torture.

You know that you were literally speed running but you were running out of time.

It was about the time of his capture now. And soon enough, you'll be entering the war that will determine the next course of action of the entire world.

And during the evening, Koby would be the one mentoring you. He was more gentle and less brutal than Garp was, at the same time, he often pointed out the mistakes you did in the day.

"Stay close to us, (Name)-san! Helmeppo-san and I can't protect you if you're out of our sights..!"

"No wait...! I can take care of myself...!

"What are you talking about?! We're in a warzone...! We have to stay together...!"

The Summit war was far worse than it was in the anime. There was blood and debris everywhere. Everyone was dying from left and right.

Seeing the man that drove many fans to tears in the center platforms to be executed, surrounded by the top dogs of the Navy, gave you a reality check.

You can't change anything. You can't speed run through it all. It was an event that was truly unavoidable.

You were no main character like those isekai stories you were all so familiar about. You don't have any special skills to be anything special enough to bend the plot that Oda-sensei created.

Koby and Helmeppo were still far stronger than you, yet they were completely at the mercy of the war. All they could do was shield you from the overwhelming gales of power between the pirates and the Navy higher ups.

You couldn't do anything. You froze when a pirate came, raising their sword to end you. It was different experiencing it in real life.

Helmeppo saved you. Given that Koby was out of it, he was the one making sure that the two of you were still alive.

It was...really different...You finally had a taste of reality. Transmigration wasn't something to be treated with excitement of leaving the world you grew up with for a world you always dreamt of going. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows than what most people would expect.

Gathering your wits, you decided to focus. Ace's death was inevitable. No matter how much you wanted to avoid it. This was reality.

"Koby...!"

Koby was experiencing his awakened observation Haki for the first time. And you knew how hard it is for him, hearing the dying thoughts of each marines and pirates alike in the war. The voices that overlap one after another before eventually fading.

You provided support for him at this time, attempting to silence his hearing by cradling his head as close to you as possible even though you knew it was useless. Atleast, all you can do now was provide comfort for him.

Tears threaten to fall from your eyes, this was your new reality. All you can do was watch from the sidelines how truly cruel it really was in the world you only saw in the anime and manga series.

You were not the main character, so you couldn't make any difference. You can only watch as the soon to be Fleet Admiral plunged his overwhelming devil fruit power to an unsuspecting Luffy before Ace took the heat.

You couldn't change anything at all. So what was the point of being here in the first place?

"....That's...what you been feeling all this time, (Name)-san..?"

You froze. Before glancing down to see Koby staring at you with tears streaming down from his eyes.

He read your thoughts accidentally. Using the Haki he recently just awakened.

© manachii 2024 ~ all rights reserved. please do not repost, copy, etc. any of the works I made.

[n0vazsq]

Moon, a hole of light | JB22 x SV5

summary . . . Jenson Button and Sebastian Vettel, one of the most esteemed names in Formula 1. Well, their names held a different story than their behaviour. Mischief, troublemaking and much more came with these two. Will the grid be able to survive?

request . . . yes!

word count . . . 1.6k

warnings . . . cursing

alexavia yaps . . . idk if this is good or not bc i literally just put a bunch of ideas together and hoped it was good </3 i accidentaly deleted the first draft so i lost the authors note and summary dni

2010, it was a year to be in F1. Many legends were on the grid, aswell as new rookies striving for greatness. But there was one pair that stood out more than the others, Jenny and Sebby, as they called themselves.

Jen and Seb, another name for them, were the troublemakers and pranksters of the grid. They were either driving or causing trouble, no in between. They made sure their PR Managers lived in misery and vain, but at least they had fun, right?

"SEBASTIAN VETTEL! COME RIGHT HERE!" Jenson's shout came from his driver's room in Mclaren. Seb, who was waiting around the corner grinned and tried to stifle his laugh as he walked over to the driver's room.

Seb slowly opened the door, trying to hold his laughter at the sight in front of him, but then failing. There stood a red-face Jenson Button, but quite literally. His face and body were stained a bright red, his fists clenched and shaking.

It took all his will to not punch Sebastian right then and there.

You'd think that a 30 year old man and a 23 year old would be mature, and have some common sense, right? Well, if you ever met Seb and Jen, you'd instantly know you were wrong. They were even more immature than a pair of 5 year olds, which was a bit surprising.

"I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons, babe" Sang Sebastian to Jenson, who rolled his eyes and shook his head disappointingly.

"I regret teaching you that this song even existed." He muttered, eyes closed and head in his hands.

"Well, too bad. I've already memorised all of it." Laughed Seb, pointing his finger at Jenson in a taunting manner.

"You did not!" Exclaimed Jenson, his eyes comically wide.

"Yes I did!"

"God, what am I going to do with you?" Jenson sighed, his shoulders deflating.

"Nothing, because you're never getting rid of me!" Seb started skipping around him in circles, singing the lyrics to Buttons by The Pussycat Dolls.

"God please help me." 

"A beekeeper?!"Jenson shouted, his jaw almost on the floor.

"What's wrong  with being a beekeeper?" Seb shouted back, his arms going across his chest defensively.

"That's so...adorable and cutesy! It does not  fit you!"

"Yes it does!" Seb argued, his voice slightly cracking.

"Does not!"

"Does"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Shut up!"

"Jeez, way to stop an argument." Jenson laughed, blowing air out of his mouth.

"Fuck off, Jen. You want to be a DILF."

"Why’s my entire table filled with… carrots?" Seb stared at the small mountain of carrots spilling out as he opened his locker.

Jenson strolled into the room, arms crossed, leaning casually against the doorframe with a smirk. "Just making sure you’re eating healthy. Thought you could use a bit of beta-carotene, mate."

Seb rolled his eyes, grabbing a handful of carrots and shoving them into Jenson’s arms. "Fine, but you’re eating them with me. Enjoy your five-a-day."

"Why is there glitter… everywhere?" Jenson asked, his voice barely holding back a mix of rage and laughter as he opened his driver’s bag to find every item coated in a thick layer of sparkles.

Seb was practically bent over in silent laughter, barely able to breathe. "It’s called adding flair, Jen. A little sparkle in your life never hurt."

Jenson held up his helmet, which was covered in glitter, and just shook his head. "You're dead, Vettel. You better start running now."

During one race weekend, Jenson was doing a live interview, being the picture of professionalism, answering questions and playing the PR game as usual. But right on the edge of the frame, Seb popped up wearing a pair of sunglasses and holding a cardboard sign that said, 'Free Hugs from Jenson.'

Without any hint of annoyance or surprise, Jenson smirked at the camera and pointed behind him. "Alright, guys, you heard him. Go find Seb if you want hugs. Might be the only time he’s offering them to the public."

During a fan Q&A, a young fan asked Jenson how he would describe Seb in three words.

Jenson looked at Seb, pretending to be in deep thought. "Hmm… a bee loving menace."

Seb grinned, crossing his arms. "Best description I’ve ever had. What would you be?"

"Easy," Jenson replied with a grin. "Seb’s number one fan."

The audience burst into laughter, and Seb dramatically placed a hand over his heart. “Aww, Jen, you shouldn’t have!"

"Sebastian, what’s your proudest achievement in F1 so far?" a journalist asked during a media day.

Seb was mid-sentence, talking about his wins, when Jenson appeared out of nowhere, a huge smirk on his face. "Oh, I can tell you. It’s definitely pranking me with a cardboard cutout of myself in my hotel room at 3 a.m. Nearly gave me a heart attack."

Seb burst out laughing. "It was life-sized! I figured you’d love the surprise!"

"Oh, I loved it," Jenson replied sarcastically. "Especially when I walked in and saw myself staring back at me. Almost had to call security."

Then there was the time when Seb was asked if he ever got nervous before races.

"No, not really," Seb replied calmly, then paused as Jenson slid into the shot behind him, eyebrows raised.

"Are we forgetting Singapore? 2009? Because I remember somebody pacing around like a madman that morning, muttering something about needing more breakfast."

Seb glared at him, trying to stifle his grin. "I wasn’t nervous! I was… focused."

"Right, focused on finding an extra croissant," Jenson said, leaning into the mic. "He was unstoppable once he got it."

In a rare joint interview, Jenson and Seb sat down with a reporter, who knew that having these two together would be nothing short of entertaining chaos. The interviewer barely got to her first question before things went to chaos.

"So, Jenson," she began with a smile, "how do you and Seb keep such a good dynamic? I mean, you're known as one of the most iconic duos in the paddock, but there's clearly some… competitive spirit there."

Jenson gave a small chuckle, glancing over at Seb, who already had a smug grin. "Well, I think it’s because we’ve both come to terms with the fact that we'll never stop pranking each other."

Seb scoffed, leaning back in his chair. "Me? I’m the one who’s just a tiny bit competitive? Remember Monaco, Jen? You may as well have had steam coming out of your ears by the end of that one."

"Don’t act innocent, Seb," Jenson shot back, eyebrows raised. "Who was the one who replaced my car’s steering wheel with a pink one with ‘Princess’ written on it?"

Seb laughed, clearly proud of his prank. "Oh, come on! You did look quite royal with it."

The interviewer was grinning ear to ear, clearly loving their dynamic. "Okay, okay, let’s settle this! What’s the biggest prank you two have pulled on each other?"

Seb’s eyes sparkled, leaning forward like he’d been waiting for this question."That’s easy. Spain, last season. He had this brand new helmet design he’d been bragging about for weeks. It had all these fancy graphics, and he wouldn’t stop talking about it."

Jenson’s eyes widened as he realized what Seb was about to reveal. "Don’t you dare, Seb!"

"Oh, I’m telling them," Seb said, grinning. "So, I may have… slightly changed his helmet."

"Slightly?" Jenson cut in, exasperated. "You replaced my name with a cartoon donkey and slapped a rainbow on it!"

Seb was barely able to keep a straight face. "And it looked amazing. He didn’t realize it until he was already at the track, visor down, ready for the press photos."

Jenson shook his head, grinning despite himself. "Every photographer at the track got a picture of that disaster. You know how hard it was to live that down?"

The interviewer was in stitches, barely able to get her next question out. "Alright, Jenson, what’s the biggest prank you’ve pulled on Seb?"

"Oh, this one was good," Jenson said, rubbing his hands together like he was planning a grand scheme. "It was right before Silverstone, and Seb had just gotten this new superstitious thing about his driver’s suit. Something about ‘needing it perfectly creased’ for luck."

Seb rolled his eyes. "Don’t remind me."

"So, I… may have swapped his suit with one that was three sizes too small and had bright neon green stitching." Jenson shrugged, feigning innocence. "I figured if he really needed luck, he’d work with whatever he had."

Seb slapped his forehead, laughing. "I couldn’t even breathe in that thing! I walked around like a robot all morning until someone finally told me where he’d put my actual suit."

The interviewer chuckled, leaning in. "Do you two ever get tired of the pranks? I mean, don’t they ever just get exhausting?"

Seb and Jenson exchanged a look, then shook their heads in unison.

"It’s like an unspoken rule at this point," Jenson explained. "He pranks me, I prank him back. Keeps things interesting. And the paddock seems to find it entertaining." (he push me i push him back)

Seb nodded, adding, "And, hey, it makes those PR events a little less boring. Like that one event in Monaco where he wouldn’t stop complaining about the heat, so I ‘helped’ by swapping his water bottle with sparkling lemonade. Thought he’d appreciate the upgrade."

Jenson shot Seb a look. "Upgrade? Seb, it was carbonated. I sprayed half of it all over my suit before I realized it."

"Good times," Seb said, smiling like it was a fond memory.

The interviewer’s eyes twinkled with excitement as she moved on to her next question. "Alright, last one! If you could describe each other in one sentence, what would it be?"

Seb tapped his chin, pretending to think deeply. "Oh, that’s easy. Jenson is the most patient man on the planet… for putting up with me."

Jenson laughed, leaning back in his chair. "You got that right."

"And what about you, Jenson?" the interviewer asked, curious.

Jenson looked at Seb with a playful glint in his eye. "Sebastian Vettel… the grid’s biggest headache, but somehow my best friend."

Seb looked mock offended. "Hey, I prefer ‘legendary troublemaker.’"

They both burst out laughing, and the interviewer shook her head, thoroughly entertained. "Alright, I think we’ve got enough stories to keep F1 fans laughing for weeks!"

[wolvietxt]

late night conversation prompts!

confessions & chaos :3

🌀 it's past 2 am, and the two of you are lying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. “what’s one thing you’ve never told anyone?” they ask, voice hushed, like the world could hear your secrets if it were any louder.

🌀 you’re both curled up under a blanket, sharing earbuds, listening to a song that means everything to them. “this part,” they whisper, right before the lyrics hit, “makes me think of you.”

🌀 their fingers trace lazy patterns on your skin as the two of you talk about your childhood dreams, the ones that never quite came true. “maybe it’s not too late,” they murmur, sounding more hopeful than they’ve ever been.

🌀 it’s 3 am, and you’re both sprawled on the living room floor, trying to build the tallest tower out of whatever you can find - books, pillows, even a shoe. it’s teetering dangerously when it finally collapses, sending everything crashing down, and you both end up in a fit of uncontrollable laughter, tears streaming down your faces.

🌀 it’s one of those nights where sleep feels impossible. you're sharing the deepest fears that keep you up at night, and they hold your hand tighter with each confession, like they're trying to keep the darkness away.

🌀 somewhere between midnight and dawn, the conversation drifts to a vulnerable place. “do you think we’ll still be this close in ten years?” you ask. there’s a long pause before they finally answer, “i hope so. god, i really hope so.”

🌀 you're both sprawled out on the couch, the tv playing softly in the background. “if you could go back and change one thing, would you?” they ask, eyes heavy with questions they don’t know if they want answers to.

🌀 the rain is pouring outside, and it’s just you two, sitting on the windowsill, knees touching. “do you ever wonder if there’s someone out there thinking about us right now?” they ask, their gaze fixed on the drops racing down the glass.

🌀 the two of you are tucked away in bed, your voices low and quiet as if the darkness could hear. "tell me something about yourself i don’t know,” they say, and for a moment, you’re not sure if you should reveal the truth or make something up.

🌀 there’s a comfort in the silence that stretches between you, broken only by the occasional murmur of words neither of you remember in the morning. it’s like sharing secrets with the night, knowing it won’t tell a soul.

🌀 you’re both lying on the kitchen floor, sharing a pint of ice cream straight from the tub. “okay, serious question,” they say, spoon halfway to their mouth, “if i were a vegetable, which one would i be?” you both burst into laughter when you answer with the most absurd choice imaginable.

🌀 the hours have slipped away, and it’s nearing 4 am. the conversation takes a turn, and you find yourself talking about your biggest regrets. “if i could, i’d take back every mistake i made,” they admit, their voice thick with emotion.

🌀 you’re both staring up at the ceiling, too wired to sleep. suddenly, they turn to you with a mischievous grin, “if you could swap bodies with me for a day, what’s the first thing you’d do?” you’re both cracking up as you come up with increasingly ridiculous answers.

🌀 the moonlight filters in, casting soft shadows across the room. “if we met again in another life,” they say softly, “do you think we’d still find each other?” it feels more like a confession than a question.

🌀 the two of you are lying there, sleep far from your minds. “do you think we’re meant to be here right now, like this?” they ask, like the universe has all the answers and you're just a tiny piece of it trying to make sense of things.

[overnightheartbeats]

Her smile couldn't be contained watching as he stood centimeters from her. Hiding how she felt and what she anticipated was not possible in any way or form. Laurel's eyes fluttered shut upon feeling those soft, lovely lips she had been hooked on from the start. "High praise, and you say I'm the one with the flirting skills," she teased, her hands cupping his face before pulling him in for a kiss of her own. The last two have been initiated by him, it was high time she give one to him. It's all she'd been thinking about for the last two weeks. "Hey, that night was great. No apology needed. I understand family, I just got it all mixed up. That's so sweet, being so close to your little sister." She zipped up her lips, "You're a great brother, and don't worry, I'll keep your secret." He had mentioned that last time, with that same sad tone. Chicago really was home, it seemed. "Well, for what it's worth, Austin is not that bad. It grows on you for sure, but don't say goodbye to Chicago. You never know where life could take you." Laurel was giddy at the thought of him meeting Julia and Aaron. Julia will be thrilled, especially when she was already such a big fan. "Wait, that's great! I love it, I'll let them know meeting you has made it to the itinerary."

It hadn't occurred to her that her answers had a deeper meaning somewhere in there, but she had said she was an open book. "I'll hold you to that," she said with a smile, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. His question had thrown her off for a second. "Yeah. My mom, when she was still around. She was always going on and on about being a bit much, which is fine. It makes sense, I suppose. It helped me learned to tone it down." Though, she supposed toning it down was debatable. "Really? You'd learn with me. That would be so much fun, and we'd get a new skill out of it. Hopefully, some good food too." The thought was intriguing - her mind already trying to think of how could they make this work. Maybe borrowing her dad's kitchen, because the communal kitchen in the dorm buildings wouldn't cut it. "True, but it's all you at the end of the day. Pretty green eyes," and just like that - new nickname unlocked.

Laurel happily listened to him talk about his family. Usually, the family talk bummed her out, only reminding her of the odd mess she had. But, hearing him was a breath of fresh air. His family just sounded so sweet, full of love. Hearing that kind of love envelop him comforted her, especially when she thought back to the melancholy in his tone now. "Fooled me, or drew me in?" Wasn't it all about perspective? "Both of them like dancing, sounds like I need to thank them for their hard work teaching you. So, you're a snow over heat kind of guy?" Yet, he ended up here. How amusing. "That sounds so relaxing, cabin for holidays. You'll have to let me know how it goes. To Aspen? Unfortunately, no because you make it sound so fun. When we did vacations, my mom was always picking the places, and it was New York or Paris. I was also a kid, so it was a lot of following her around during shopping trips and then spending time with some random caretaker while they went out. Once it became my dad and I, then we tried visiting the Grand Canyon and sprained his ankle, so vacation cut short. But, his job keeps him busy too, so vacations are not too fun." He did try though, and that effort was everything to her. "Oh, true. Nerdy can be hot though, still doesn't matter if it's others' favorite hobby. Just yours. A self-help book, to teach others to flirt with you? No, thank you. I'll politely decline," she joked with a wink in his direction.

Something in common made her feel excited, eager to discover what else they could have in common. The possibilities seemed endless, which only made it better. "Random hobbies, huh? I mean, I'll try anything once really," that was said with a shrug. Her curiosity had a tendency to lead her to the most odd roads. "Are you trying to test my knowledge? Maybe so, or maybe I don't, but I could just throw random moves together and you wouldn't even know the difference. I'd have to dig the pom poms out of retirement," she laughed at the thought, though her attention was drawn back to his words. Laurel had never thought of silence that way, but there was no way to say that without it sounding pitiful. "The first one sounds familiar, but I guess I haven't had much of that second option. It could also be because I can never be quiet." Deflecting with jokes, a fine option. "You are just checking off all my boxes - cooking classes and stargazing, I am too lucky. I will be taking you up on that offer! I don't need the facts, just the company." His company, more specifically. "Yes, sounds like a plan. I still need to see these awesome blankets you hyped up earlier." They'd covered a decent amount of things already in the getting to know you trail, but she was quick to think of other things. "Okay, favorite color and what's one place, anywhere in the world, that you've always wanted to visit?"

Eli smiled and sighed as he chewed his lip before getting up off the chair to be centimeters away from her face. That almost mischievous childlike smile displayed as he brought her chin up with his fingertip and pressed a fleeting but warm kiss on her soft plump lips. "I don't think kissing you would ever disappoint me." He situated himself back on his chair and wrapped his ankles around the legs of the seat. "The saddle night was a good day. I'm sorry it got cut short. My little sister needed me and if you ever meet her, you'd see why. She and I are really close. She's my best friend. Just don't tell my brother and sister," he chuckled making his eyebrows crease. "Our little secret." The thought had crossed his mind once but ended up deciding that it was best if he didn't. "I wanted to but I think I'm going to stay or find some place to settle that would still be a flight away from them. I think I exhausted my time in Chicago." A sort of melancholy took over his voice saying that out loud. Her excitement was contagious and it made him nod. "I'd love to meet your best friends. That's a genuine feeling because I don't normally like to meet people." The bribery bit had him smile at her. He did wonder what she'd have up her sleeve.

"Don't worry about that. I don't deem you too much. Has anyone ever deemed you to be too much?" His curiosity had gotten him to ask the question. Otherwise he didn't think she'd have hesitancy over being known. "Realism isn't a bad thing. Though it's good to have a balance." he hummed and nodded. "We can learn together. I know a few things but the kitchen isn't really my forte. Eating is though. I wouldn't mind learning together and coming up with different recipes to try." It was a nice thought. Laurel and him in the kitchen making something and having fun. Not paying too much attention to the exact recipe just winging it at times. He smiled as they fluttered one quick time and shook his head. "I'll proudly take the title then. I don't know who to thank. Mom or dad could have had green eyes. Who knows."

"I fooled you with my subpar dancing skills. Mama P used to love to be twirled so every chance we got we used to twirl her. So she'd take us around the kitchen to dance. It was Papa P who used to teach us how to lead." The last time he skiied was last Christmas. The last holiday that was normal. "Not since last year. It was a family trip. I've got a picture of that time in my dorm. I love the snow. It's a magical place and would love to go back. Maybe rent a cabin and spend the holidays there." A dream he knew that couldn't be made reality since he didn't have the funds to actually do it. At least not yet. "Have you ever been?" He shrugged his shoulders and cleared his throat. "Some people deem readers dorky and nerdy. So, it is not everyone's favorite hobby." She was cute when she laughed and her eyes sparkled with that joy. "It has worked. You have charmed me. Maybe now you should write a self help book on how to flirt the right amount."

"A one person type huh? Seems like we've got that in common." The smile he threw her was one that was half amused. "Cheerleading and tennis? Consider me more than intrigued. Do you still remember your cheer routine?" He'd wait until later to let her know he was one of the few cheer guys at the bottom of the pyramid. She didn't need to know that right now. "Silence isn't all bad. It depends on the person you're with. If they're using silence as a means for punishment then yeah that is not good. But if you're sitting in silence with someone who makes it safe and warm then you'd find it's also very fun. As for stargazing we should go sometime? I can't say I'll be full of facts but maybe I'll end up surprising you." Just then their food arrived and he grabbed it. "Shall we head back to the room?"

[tyrantisterror]

At Sea Without a Map pt. 25

For a very brief moment, you consider how out of all the crazy bullshit that's been thrown at you, this - a fucking pirate tiger - is the thing that's breaking your brain. Sea monsters and living nightmares are one thing, but how do you even begin to comprehend something this goddamn silly being real?

Well, apparently you just roll with it, because that's what you end up doing. "Alright, Calibani, translate for me please," you say, "I've got some questions for..." You stop and squint at the tiger pirate, and it regards you back with the terrifying stare of an apex predator. "For Captain Peter."

The tiger sits at attention, waiting for your queries. With a nod from Calibani, you begin to interrogate the big cat. "Alright, so..." You try to think of which questions would be most important to ask, but one keeps superseding them in your mind. "I'm sorry, but why are you a tiger? Like, were you transformed into a tiger or something?"

Calibani poses the question for you in a mix of growls and roars, and Captain Peter simply shakes his shaggy head in response. "He says he's always been a tiger."

"Then how did he get here?" you ask. "Tigers aren't exactly aquatic wildlife!"

After a translation by Calibani, Captain Peter begins growling and roaring back a very long answer, which takes your fishy companion a while to parse. "I think I have the jist..." Calibani says.

"Captain Peter was put in a cage by a nasty man. The nasty man took him on a big boat across the ocean, and Captain Peter was very sad and scared. A great storm came and shook the ship, breaking the cage and letting Peter free! He chased the nasty man off the big boat and onto a small boat, then ate the nasty man and was very happy! But he had nowhere to go, and was stuck on the boat for a long time. Eventually he saw a huge fish, and it tried to eat him, but he ate it instead. Eating the fish made him and his boat stronger, so he kept doing that, and now he and his boat are very strong!"

As the story is relayed to you, you place your palm upon your face and slowly draw it down as you process what you're hearing. "Alright, alright, fine, that makes enough sense," you tell yourself. "But where'd he get the coat, and the hat, and the eyepatch, and the goddamn hand-hook on his tail?"

After relaying the question, Calibani translates the tiger's brief answer, "From adventure." Frowning, she growls a followup question to the tiger, and gets another brief response. "I'm sorry, he's not giving me more detail than that."

Sighing, you ask, "Is he the only crew of this ship? I mean, it's huge, don't ships like this need a big crew?" You look at the tiger again and add, "Also, like, human hands to manipulate it?"

After some back and forth roaring, Calibani translates, "He is the only crew of this boat. It listens to him well, and has grown big and strong."

"What the fuck does that mean?" you ask. "Boats don't grow!"

"They don't?" Calibani asks. "I thought all living things do that."

"Boats aren't alive!" you say, only to remember some odd quirks of your own vehicle. "At least they're not supposed to be..."

"Huh. You learn something new everyday, I suppose," Calibani says.

A thought occurs to you. "Ask him how long he's been here."

Calibani relays the question then gives you the response. "Many days and many nights. He says that he has lived longer than any tiger has lived before out here, and plans to live longer still. As long as he draws breath, he will claw and bite and thrive out here on the sea."

It's not a specific answer, which should be expected from a creature that was not taught how to record and measure time (and hell, it's not like you've been doing a good job of it yourself), but it tells you what you need to know. If you are stuck here, that doesn't mean you're doomed. After all, a tiger's got some significant disadvantages you don't have to deal with, and if he made it this long, maybe you can too.

Still, that doesn't mean you want to stay here. "Ask Captain Peter what he knows about Dr. Neptune, whoever that is. If those notes are to be trusted, that guy might be my ticket home."

A good deal of roaring fills the air as you wait for an answer. "He says Dr. Neptune is... um... a bucket? With meat in it? A meat bucket?" Calibani shrugs. "I'm not quite sure what he's describing, but apparently this Neptune fella is pretty smart, but also strange? He lives in a... what?" She growls and roars back and forth with the tiger again. "He lives in a mountain shaped like a wrinkly butt."

"...a wrinkly butt," you say flatly.

"Yeah, like a monkey's butt, but covered in wrinkles," Calibani says. "Peter says Dr. Neptune does not like it when he calls it a butt, but that's what it looks like, and Dr. Neptune can complain all he wants but he chose to live in a butt mountain so what does he know."

"Does he know how to send me home?" you ask insistently. "I don't care if he lives in an actual asshole, I just want to go home!"

The tiger thinks for a while when this question is translated for him, before finally growling out a reply for Calibani to relay. "If anyone Peter's met would know, it'd be Dr. Neptune." More growling, more translation. "But Peter asks why you want to go back? There are nasty men at home. The sea doesn't put you in a cage."

That question stuns you so bad you feel dizzy, because you're not sure what the answer to it is. As you try to think of it, you feel your compass grow heavy in your pocket, and instinctively reach down, grab it, and reposition it so it weighs a bit less on you. "Tell me where I can find Dr. Neptune," you say, putting the tiger's question out of mind for now.

Captain Peter turns around and looks to the horizon, gesturing at it with his tail-mounted hook. "He says we should travel that way. It should be no more than a day's journey till we find Dr. Neptune's island. If we hit the island with jagged spines, we've gone too far."

"Spines?"

"He doesn't have the largest vocabulary," Calibani says. "I think he means rocks, or maybe mountains? He describes most things in animal terms."

"Alright," you sigh. "Those are directions are easy enough to follow, anyway." You think about any other questions you might have. "Does he have any weapons he can spare - a cannon, maybe? I just lost my harpoon, after all."

Calibani relays the message, and the tiger's eye lights up. He gives a growl before stalking up the plank back to his ship, then returns shortly afterward with a bundle of harpoons held in his jaws. "Oh, that's kind of him," Calibani says. "We have five to spare now!"

You think about how you would have preferred a cannon, but decide not to verbalize it. "Thank him for me," you ask Calibani, and she nods and growls to the tiger.

Captain Peter nods and releases several roars in quick succession. "He says to think nothing of it, and to remember the kindness of Captain Peter. He adds that he wishes us well on our journey, and that we kill and eat many a monster, so we too may grow strong." She gives the tiger a nod as he trots back to his ship. "Pretty pleasant fellow, huh?"

"...yeah," you say quietly as you watch the tiger climb up onto his pirate ship and sail away. Once more you're safe, and while you have more of an idea what to do now, you're still left with a lot of burning questions. Confused as to what you should focus on, you consult your compass.

[butchsophiewalten]

There's this interconnected web of Walten Files Information that keeps coming back into my mind which I meant to make a post about a while ago. Which is as follows:

-We know from the Richie audios in Findjackwalten/caretakerlibrary that Rosemary had already been banned from (or at least highly discouraged from entering) Bon's Burgers by the 1st of July, which is quite a ways away from when she disappeared on the 19th. I definitely wouldn't put it past her to sneak into the restaurant during its off-hours, but we know at least that her being there wasn't formally sanctioned.

-From the way he talks to and interacts with Susan in TWF4, it seems that Bon's 'Selection Process' for who he 'beautifies' is not arbitrary, nor is it necessarily opportunistic. Which is to say that he's not picking people at random, and he's not picking people only because they would be an easy target. He watches them, and chooses them based on criteria they exhibit which appeal to him. In essence, he picks people he likes, who he thinks belong in his Wonderland.

-There's a near-undeniable but Implicit fixation that Bon has on Rosemary, which we only learn through many, many small things. The 'shrine' we see him create for her in Souvenir is relatively elaborate, (in that it seems to contain more than one object that is associated with her,) and he put her in Sha, which is the companion animatronic to his Bon. Rose's death scene in TWF2 also makes it seem like he spoke to her, as the Bon animatronic, before killing her. What he says exactly is notable, too. "Rose broken. Will fix you. You will beautiful." It's, one, an explanation of what he's doing. Bon did this for Susan too, but not in the 'physical world,' before he actually hurt her. Also, it's comfort. A soothing reassurance. I'll fix you. You'll be beautiful. Then also, of course, he calls her Rosie. "I know where he is, Rosie," is a line that haunts me forever, thinking of it coming from him.

This all paints a specific sort of picture in my mind. I like to think that Bon likes Rosemary a lot, and that she's a favorite of his, because she designed The Showstoppers. I think he likes Susan quite a lot for a similar reason, she was the woman who gave him his flesh and his bone. Who forged the vessel that he now lives for. But Rosemary is the artist who made it what he loves. She was the visionary who made him Beautiful.

So I think that Bon had his heart set on Rosemary for Wonderland. And it makes me wonder if the contentions between her and Felix that kept him away from her really pissed him off. But the core of my 'theory' here is just that Bon wanted her in the restaurant, that night. That she maybe wouldn't have been there at all, if someone hadn't asked her to be.

[hypewinter]

Jazz wasn't crazy. People might argue that burning her childhood home to the ground with her parents still inside would be an indicator of insanity. But how else was she supposed to react after coming back home from college to find out her parents had brutally killed her brother via vivisection?

Dying her hair blonde wasn't crazy either before anyone asked. Plenty of girls dyed their hair when they needed a change. Besides, she could never live with herself if she kept the same hair color as that vile woman.

Admittedly Jazz would have to secede moving to Gotham had been a little crazy but it was the perfect place to start fresh and blend in despite her "quirks". She had even picked out a nice new identity for herself.

Clearly Jazz was not crazy as she had managed to land a job at Arkham Asylum as a psychiatrist. If she were really insane would they have ever hired her? No they wouldn't have.

Jazz was not crazy. She was very much sane. Just like her precious Mr. J.

[sevenines]

i saw this tweet and found it interesting for two reasons. one is that some people base how good cartoon network would be to toh by how it treated su, and despite the fact that su’s treatment by the network was considered poor at the time, now its thought to be exceptionally good in comparison to modern shows.

two is how exactly su got impacted by a limited budget. a common criticism is how characters like connie, peridot, and lapis are left out of missions. but balancing a lot of characters is not only hard but also costly (extra animation, extra voices—it’s been revealed that the show is limited to a set number of characters per episode otherwise they’re over budget). animation mistakes are not uncommon since retakes cost extra. the entire reason the original show got cut short was due to loss of funding!

[buwheal]

Why does the orange Addison's mannequin kinda resemble you?

[kyouka-supremacy]

BSD Official Guidebook Tenkaroku - characters profiles

Profiles from the season 3 guidebook. I heavily relied on automatic translators for this, so if you notice any mistake, please feel free to bring it to my attention. I'll be posting the Japanese original text in reblogs not to make this post too long. Other guidebooks profiles: Shinkaroku; DEAD APPLE; Gongeroku.

Fifteen arc

Osamu Dazai Age: 15 years old Height: 155cm Weight: 51kg Impression when he met Chuuya for the first time: “I'll never feel positively about him again” Places he would like to visit if he went travelling: Famous suicide (by drowning) spots What are the qualities of a “king”?: The ones of people like Mori-san

Chuuya Nakahara Age: 15 years old Height: 150cm Weight: 53kg Impression when he met Dazai for the first time: “There's trash all around” Places he would like to visit if he went travelling: I want to go to a trip overseas with my friends What are the qualities of a “king”?: Being strong

Arthur Rimbaud Age: 27 years old Height: 185cm Weight: 68kg What he believes are his strengths and weaknesses: Strength: having a useful ability / Weaknesses: being sensitive to cold Favourite type: A woman who can warm him up Motto: Always put the mission above everything else Something he wants right now: His lost memories of the past

Canon

Osamu Dazai Something they've been into recently: Showing everyone the footage of Kunikida going insane because of Q's ability Something at which they think they can't lose to anyone: Since Ranpo-san is here, there can't be a “can't lose to anyone” What they want to overcome: Nothing at all

Atsushi Nakajima Something they've been into recently: Checking the bankbook page with his salary Something at which they think they can't lose to anyone: He doesn't have any confidence in himself, so there's no such thing. What they want to overcome: I want to learn to have the common sense of and behave like a member of society.

Kyouka Izumi Something they've been into recently: Research on cooking for Atsushi Something at which they think they can't lose to anyone: Gratitude towards Atsushi and the Detective Agency What they want to overcome: I want to become less startled by thunders.

Doppo Kunikida Something they've been into recently: Education for the increased number of new employees Something at which they think they can't lose to anyone: Ability to plan, and passion to carry it out perfectly What they want to overcome: My own imperfections that sometimes prevent me from carrying out my plans

Junichirou Tanizaki Something they've been into recently: Visiting western pastries shops with Naomi Something at which they think they can't lose to anyone: I'm embarrassed to say it, but supporting and protecting a certain woman. What they want to overcome: My indecisiveness

Kenji Miyazawa Something they've been into recently: Teaching farming to the members of destroyed gangs Something at which they think they can't lose to anyone: Love for nature What they want to overcome: I want to be able to use a computer

Ranpo Edogawa Something they've been into recently: Initiating Kyouka to the deliciousness of cheap candies Something at which they think they can't lose to anyone: I can't lose to anyone in anything What they want to overcome: I am perfect like I am now

Yukichi Fukuzawa Something they've been into recently: Showing up at a Go club Something at which they think they can't lose to anyone: Excellence of subordinates What they want to overcome: The mistakes of the assassin from the past

Akiko Yosano Something they've been into recently: Collecting photos of dissected patients' internal organs Something at which they think they can't lose to anyone: Human body dismemberment skills What they want to overcome: If possible, I want to save patients who have no choice but to die.

Chuuya Nakahara Something they've been into recently: Enriching his wine cellar assortment at home Something at which they think they can't lose to anyone: Hatred towards Dazai What they want to overcome: When buying a big motorcycle, I want to stop checking whether my feet can touch the ground

Ryuunosuke Akutagawa Something they've been into recently: Searching for Dazai's house Something at which they think they can't lose to anyone: I would rather have something that no one can beat. What they want to overcome: My nemesis, the man-tiger.

Ougai Mori Something they've been into recently: Coming up with new strategies to recruit Dazai Something at which they think they can't lose to anyone: Organization management techniques that request rationality and logic What they want to overcome: Buying too many clothes for Elise

Fyodor Dostoyevsky Age: Unknown Height: Unknown Weight: Unknown What he believes are his strengths and weaknesses: Strength: wishing for world happiness / Weakness: low blood pressure Favourite type: He loves all human beings equally Motto: Happiness in this world Something he wants right now: Someone to talk with who has the same brain as him

Katai Tayama Age: 23 years old Height: 175cm Weight: 53kg What he believes are his strengths and weaknesses: Strength: his life is not expensive (no expenses for transportation and socialization) / Weakness: if left to himself, he won't change his clothes Favourite type: A refined, dignified and gentle woman Motto: There are many dangers outside the house Something he wants right now: Faster communication networks