#and this is so long and self indulgent.
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tell me about the Jon Isolation AU!
This ask carried me through microeconomics homework, econometrics lab, microeconomics class, econometrics class, AND worries about Big Future Assignments! So thank you very much <3
This is a fun one cause I actually have the first draft of the first part written!! It's basically a version of one of my favorite personal Jon plotlines where he moves into the Archives and has no social support system. Desperately in need of a rewrite to sand away the rough edges tho lmao.
Alright I won't lie: this AU was born when I was thinking about creating an Archivist, and why it wouldn't work if you just stuck someone in a room, made them read a bunch of statements, and then dropped 14 marks on them (because that would be much easier, faster, and more efficient than what happened in the podcast, but that's not what Elias did). And then I (world's most normal Jon enjoyer) thought about Elias doing that to Jon. And then, I (and I cannot stress this enough: world's MOST NORMAL Jon enjoyer) started thinking about. The most reasonable. Effective. Low-effort. Jon kidnapping plot. And then I wrote about 5k words. And then I left those to languish in the WIP folder, just like Elias leaving Jon to languish in the basement Archives.
In hindsight, it's also a spiritual precursor to my vampire JE fics. Like. Same basic setup.
Huh.
(Believe it or not I'm actually even more of a freak about Jon NOW.)
Just to be clear, warning for:
Unhealthy relationships (I mean it's JE lmao)
Dubcon captivity?? I guess?? Like Jon agrees but Elias manipulates the scenario and Jon is. Not super happy about the situation.
Anyway the plotline is: Gertrude is missing (how mysterious and worrying!) and Elias needs himself a "temporary" Archivist to take care of the Archives until either she returns or until it becomes clear that he needs an official replacement. Jon is a very hardworking institute employee with a dedication to research and a knack for organization (autism requires everything be Sorted). Elias (who only wants to help Jon realize his full potential and has no ulterior motives whatsoever) decides that to promote him to the position. For career development reasons!
Jon:
Wants to prove that they are an asset to the institute and that they are up for the task.
Is hoping they can maybe be promoted to Head Archivist? Like Elias implied might happen if they did a good job?
Maybe. Possibly. Potentially. Fancies Elias a tiny bit.
Would appreciate the opportunity to do his own research on the statements there without their supervisor asking why they're so invested in statements involving Lietners and spiders.
Hypothetically wants Elias to praise them and validate them and respect them and profess his undying love for them make them employee of the month.
So. Obviously. They agree.
The thing is, it's only temporary, and Elias doesn't want to disrupt the other departments too much, you see, and surely Jon can handle a little tidying all by themselves? And obviously Jon can't say no to that! Haven't they always sort of wanted to not have to deal with annoying coworkers constantly chattering and bothering them and demanding their attention? Haven't they always wanted to work by themselves and be responsible for their own tasks? And Elias makes it sound like such an inconvenience to hire additional hands. Besides, Gerturde managed just fine without. Surely they can do this by themselves. Surely it will be fine.
It goes from there. The Archives are, obviously, a much bigger disaster than Elias had let on. But Elias expects Jon to handle it and handle it they shall. They just need to work harder. Come in early. Stay late. Miss lunch, sometimes. Work while they eat. It will be fine. What would Elias think if they asked for help? If they essentially admitted that they couldn't live up to his expectations? And other people would disrupt their ability to work. Might ask questions about any areas of interest they try to focus on.
They come in earlier and earlier. They stay later and later. Elias stops by occasionally to congratulate them on what a good job they're doing. To commend them on their dedication. So they have to keep it up. Can't slack off. They had friends before, sort of. Tim and Sasha were nice to talk to occasionally. But now Jon doesn't work near them, can't talk to them as much. Doesn't have time to get drinks with them after work, doesn't have the energy to answer their increasingly sporadic texts. Jon doesn't speak to much of anyone these days. It's fine though. It's fine it's fine it's fine.
There's something about the quiet stillness of the Archives. The echoing silence of the rest of the institute in those few moments Jon spends there in those long, lonely halls (not lifeless, per se, but lonely). There's some deep ache inside of them. It feels almost hollow, but it feels like home, too.
Elias is there, sometimes. To tell Jon how proud he is, how well they're doing. He likes to show up in the moments when Jon's thinking about leaving, maybe to eat in the cafeteria, maybe to stop by Sasha's desk... but that's probably paranoia. How would he know?
Every night, it feels so difficult to leave. Every night, Jon worries that Gertrude will come back and take the job from them, that Elias will find a replacement, that they'll lose their Archives. It's ridiculous, they know it, but it doesn't change the impulse to stay as long as possible. To prove to Elias that this is where they belong. It is an itch deep in their soul.
They think someone might be going through their desk. Something is watching them. It doesn't feel safe, leaving the Archives unattended over night.
(The Archives need an Archivist. The vacuum needs to be filled, and there is a perfect candidate right here, visiting them every day. Of course Jon is feeling the pull.)
And then it's been months, and Gertrude just hasn't been found, and Jon's done such a very good job, and it would be much easier if Jon would just... continue what they were doing? And if they think the work might be too much they can always ask for assistants, of course.
The itching in their soul soothes when they sign the contract. They try not to think about it.
Aaaaand that's about it as far as detailed plot goes. I do have some ideas for later on that are less well defined?
On the angstier side of things:
Things get easier when Jon is made Archivist officially. He feels more comfortable leaving at night, but he still spends a lot of time there. So many secrets, so little time.
He's paranoid. He knows something is up, that he might be in danger, that he's being watched... he can't involve anyone else. Not if he can't trust them, not if they might be in danger too.
Some of it is also the wearing effect of isolation. It's very easy to see other people as a threat or disturbance or unknown variable if you spend so much time alone.
He's looking into Gertrude's disappearance too. What did she know? What happened to her? Is he in danger too?
He can't trust Elias. He knows it. And it's so stupid that he's still maybe in love with him, just a bit.
Months pass. Relationships have surely withered and atrophied from Jon's absence. He still spends some time at his flat, but it's the Archives that feel like home.
And then, one night, the shadows in his flat come alive. Reaching ink-slick hands out to grasp him and pull him in.
It follows him. Shadows reaching with a dozen hungry hands as he races for the institute. Out of walls, street posts, parked cars. One catches on his side, and the flesh tears like paper.
It was midnight when he left. It was almost daybreak when he arrived at the Archives. He knows he's safe as soon as he crosses the threshold.
From there, I'm not sure what happens next. Tempted to say Elias was there waiting for him (I think the formatting maybe implies more continuity than there is there, how much Jon knows by the time he has to leave his flat behind is... debatable). Maybe Elias comes in to visit him and pretends to be shocked and worried about all the very unexpected blood. Maybe Jon has to phone him, begging for help because he can't go to the hospital (he knows it'll come back, the next time he's left alone in the dark), and really, who else does he have that will believe him?
Elias stays with him, tends to his injuries, spends his nights in the Archives with Jon. It's Jon who begs to stay in the Archives. Who needs the safety. The surety. Maybe Elias suggests that he stay there forever. Maybe he doesn't have to.
On the much goofier side of things: I do have an idea of them (once Jon is healed) going to Ikea to pick out some furniture. I'm thinking maybe Jon would know about the Eye, just for some fun bickering over picking out furniture or assembling a dresser or whatever. Idk, I just really like the idea of JE making the Archives into a cozy little home for Jon, somewhere he can comfortably live forever <3.
Jon has a lot of complicated feelings about the Archives and living in them and being the Archivist. Maybe he even tries to leave and go back to living a normal life. Maybe the reaching shadows break that idea for him forever. Either way, one way or another, he will learn that there is no point and there is no freedom in trying.
Despite this AU's beginnings, I don't know if Elias is working towards some big ritual. Maybe he just wants a perfect Archivist to keep in his basement forever.
And. I mean. Can you really blame him??
Not sure if JE ever become like. Official Romantic Partners. But Jon is Elias' Archivist and Elias is Jon's Watcher and that's kind of the same thing, really.
(Maybe they can have some sort of binding ritual ceremony at some point. As a Treat.)
Okay that's. God this has been a bit of a ramble, huh? Anyway I hoped you enjoyed hearing about this AU. I did get excited to take another crack at it while writing this! At the same time, however, I recently saw a post about Love that annoyed me a bit and which has made me think about the Subway Monster AU (and how those two concepts are connected is a WHOLE other story lmao) so we'll see which I end up doing (the answer might be neither for a while. I have. Big Graduation Responsibility due Oct. 1st). But yeah anyway thank you again for the ask! It was fun rambling, and actually really nice to sit down and Think about my AU lol.
#can i. can i get away with not putting this in the jon/elias tag??#please i'm so shy.#and this is so long and self indulgent.#anyway yeah#jon isolation au#man this is a fun one. i just want to put this guy in the isolation chamber!#i just want to take away all his friends until he has no one but him manipulative morally dubious crush!!#it's his natural habitat and he needs it#also fun fact this au is a he/they jon au#because Projection#but yeah. i think jon could work as an avatar of the lonely.#but he'd also be a perfect victim of it#(which is one of the reasons i love jon/peter so much btw)#i didn't really get as much into the captivity aspect as planned. and tbh i'm not sure how much it counts?#but basically elias' plan was:#make jon unofficial head archivist. let the institute's need for an archivist pull him in.#step in when he tries to reaffirm what few threadbare connections he has but do so subtly.#become his only remaining connection.#through both words and actions create the expectation that jon can manage the archives on his own.#heavily imply disappointment in the slowed progress if jon goes too many days in a row entering and exiting at a reasonable hour.#get him used to coming in too early and leaving too late to see anyone#wait until he is totally cut off from others. until you can be sure he would not ask for assistants. before officially promoting him.#he has to choose isolation. he has to choose the decay of his relationships. he has to choose loneliness. he has to choose the Archives#eventually when he moves in everyone will assume the reclusive antisocial workaholic is being a reclusive antisocial workaholic#and that's why they never see him anymore.#almost nobody has any reason to enter the archives if they aren't a statement giver and jon HATES being disturbed.#so they learn not to bother him. eventually he will stop being a person#he will be a distant figure. a rumor. forgotten except for lunchtime chatter and spooky stories at the pub after work.#he will only truly exist to elias.#and that's how you kidnap an archivist to be marked 14 times.
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Feather and Crystal (I remember)
Set after wild life session 5, under the premise that dd gave each other a feather earring and a crystal necklace back in 3rd life <3 They can be seen in a lot of my past pieces, the og concept was from bugs buggsxp back during dl !!
#goodtimeswithscar#grian#desert duo#wild life smp#wild life spoilers#trafficblr#traffic smp#comic#my art#head in my hands THIS IS SO SELF INDULGENT AND TOOK WAY TOO LONG HAHHAHJWDHAWKJ#just thinking about. them both reminiscing about 3l...#also for clarification. grian basically had that necklace stashed in his back pocket except the back pocket is kinda the void#i made this comic mute and gave myself a giant headache istg LMAOGOJOASKDLADLWAK
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spicynoodles as the doctor and river song and YES i know this is a stretch but my target audience is myself and i do not care
#this is so hilariously self indulgent idk if anyone else will appreciate this#my art#lmk#lego monkie kid#lego monkie kid fanart#monkie kid#monkie kid fanart#lmk fanart#doctor who#spicynoodles#lmk spicynoodles#qi xiaotian#long xiaojiao#lmk mk#lmk mei#lmk red son#spicynoodles fanart#bbc doctor who#good lord. this is embarrassing
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Make Me Yours
Male Yandere x Reader
Part 2: "Your One and Only"
"I just... really wanna put a collar on a cute guy."
You didn't even mean to say it out loud, but your best friend since middle school had always been super open with this sort of stuff. You've always been the first one she texts when a date goes really well, or really terribly. And a lot of your coffee meetups, like this one, devolve into her oversharing all the juicy details of her relationships.
"Oh wow." She nudged you with a grin. "Didn't know you had it in you!"
Unable to meet her eyes, you try to defend your stray thought. You remind her of some of the jerks you've dated, how their assertive and self-assured personalities had all quickly turned into a bit too aggressive and controlling. In certain situations, in controlled doses... that could lead to a nice time. But it's all fun and games until you try to explain away some of their worse moments to your coworkers and swiftly realize you're in "that kind" of relationship. You wonder if you give off some kind of energy that attracts creeps...
The thought of finding a guy who would not only let you take the reins but maybe even prefer you taking charge? It gave you a little thrill you're almost embarrassed to admit.
"Well, it's nothing to get all twisted up over." she shrugs, taking a sip of her iced latte. "You'll find the right guy that's into that kind of thing."
You smiled, she really was trying to encourage you with this, and it was oddly sweet of her.
"Oh, look!" she scooted closer to you, showing you her phone screen. "There's tons of collars you can get. You thinkin' like leather, classic S&M style? Or somethin' more cutesy?"
Maybe a little too encouraging, sometimes.
~ Somewhere very close by...~
His hands were shaking. Your words were playing on repeat in his head, drowning everything else out.
As if you weren't already perfect. He'd been so jealous of you meeting up with your friend, but if it made this conversation happen so he couldn't be too upset about it. He'd been trying to think of some way to make you his for so long... But being yours? Wearing something like that? Something that said he belonged only to you?
He was already yours. But a little proof never hurt.
. . .
It was late, and you decided to cut through the park to get home quicker. It was a pretty safe area, but you didn't want to be here any longer than you had to be. A few lights lit up the main path and you didn't see anyone else around.
But that didn't mean you were alone.
"Hey..."
You spin around to see... some guy. You'd never met him before, but he was... making A LOT of eye contact.
He was cute though. Soft, fluffy hair and piercings in his ears, his bright eyes poking out from beneath his bangs. And he had at least six inches on you, but not really an intimidating frame, a bit skinny too. The way he was looking at you was making you nervous, but you weren't sure if it was a "Oh, this is unexpected." kind of nervous or a "You're gonna end up in his basement." kind of nervous.
"You probably don't remember me but, uh...we had a few classes together last year and…"
He seemed really nervous himself, trailing off with some color in his cheeks. You tell him politely that you were sorry, but you didn't remember him.
"That's okay, uh..."
He was breathing kind of funny, his eyes still staring into yours. You asked him what he needed, hoping it would speed this along and you could leave.
He took a breath, and all you could do was stare, wondering if you should distract him and make a break for it.
"I... I've liked you. For a long time. It's like... like everything about you is just so... wonderful! Seeing you every day keeps me going! I was okay just watching but then... Sorry, sorry. I'm c-coming on too strong, I..."
He took a step towards you, moving like he was going to touch you, but you instinctively took a step back. He looked a little hurt.
"No, no please, don't be scared! I just... I thought it was the right time... I've been thinking about this for so long! I just wanted to..."
He dropped to his knees and the look in his eyes was almost...like he worshipped you. Like you were everything to him and nothing else mattered. It was a bit overwhelming...
"I heard you talking to your friend the other day. Not, uh, not in a weird way, I swear! I-it's just... It's all I can think about..."
He stared at you, a glimmer of something in his eyes. You could see a tremble in his hands, like he was debating reaching out for you again. But he was holding himself back.
Seeing him kneeling, looking up at you with a want that burned into you... It was doing something to you.
This was a weird, kinda scary, unbelievable situation. But it felt so...
Good.
You felt bold. Deciding to go for broke, you finally spoke again.
You asked him to tell you what he wanted.
You could see the tremble shoot through his frame, the smallest, quietest gasp when the your words finally registered.
"I want... I want you to look down at me, just like this! I want you to run your fingers through my hair and tell me I'm a good boy. Your good boy! I want to cuddle up to you and hear your heartbeat while you hold me, I... I want you to use me... I want you to yank my collar if I get too excited and tell me to behave."
He laughed softly at the thought, this guy was completely smitten.
"I want to be yours, if that'll make you happy..."
He reached into his back pocket, you heard the gentle clink of the collar before you saw it. It was like some kind of odd proposal, except he was down on both knees.
He held it up to you, his eyes clouded with a want that made your face feel hot.
So painfully slowly, you reached out for him, your fingers flinching back for a split second, rational thought desperately trying to break through. But despite all the reasons you could think this was completely crazy, you still wanted this.
You touched his cheek, and he didn't hesitate to lean into your hand with a contented, dreamy sigh.
The power he was giving you was... new, exciting, maybe a bit intoxicating. And he was offering it all so willingly, you wondered if this was all a dream.
"I wanna be your good boy..." His voice was soft but pleading, almost desperate. "Please..."
His smile was making your brain feel fuzzy, seeing him looking up at you like you were his whole world.
"Make me yours."
#this one's a little self-indulgent lol#male yandere#male yandere x reader#yandere x reader#male yandere oc#yandere male#yandere boy#subby yandere#wondering if I should start naming these guys and gals#so i can do part 2s with the same characters#this one's been nearly done and in my drafts for a while#job hunting is long and tiring y'all#Jacob#minty writing
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JASON TODD didn't want a dog. He lived in an apartment with you, with one bedroom, a tiny kitchen and a living room that looked like the furniture decorated in it would fall apart at any moment.
But one day, he comes home to you, sleeping in your bed with a little bull mastiff puppy on his side of the bed. He stares at the dog for a few moments, before going to take off his Red Hood outfit, as though that would make the situation disappear. When he comes back, the dog was still there. Of course.
Gently, Jason shakes you awake, giving you a pointed look. "Got anything you want to share with me, babe?" He asks, eyes trailing down to the dog, still asleep on the bed. A sheepish smile crosses your face. "I can explain?" You say, though it comes out more like a question. "I was volunteering at the animal shelter and found him. He didn't like being with the other dogs in cage but they didn't have enough space to isolate him." "So you thought the best plan was to bring home a dog that can grow to be 150 pounds?" I scoffs lightly. "No, no! I'm fostering him. Just for a little bit," You say quickly. "I thought since he's still a puppy he would be adopted quickly, right? So we won't have to make space for when he gets that big." Jason lets out a soft sigh and pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead before speaking again. "You're too good," He murmurs softly. You smile up at him and return the kiss onto his cheek. After a few moments, Jason clears his throat and looks down at the puppy, still sprawled out onto his side of the bed. "So where am I going to sleep?" ... JASON TODD sucks at being a foster. He's terrible, horrible, even. If you were to look up 'How to not foster a dog', they would just show his face. It wasn't that he neglected the dog. He could never. He took him out on runs, fed him good food, washed him, played with him. Everything a dog owner could do. No, the reason Jason was so bad was because his first ever foster dog turned out to be a foster failure. Every time someone came by interested in adopting the puppy, Jason would be in your ear, whispering to you that it didn't seem like they knew what they were doing, or that the puppy wouldn't like living with them. Every. Single. Time.
It wasn't till the three month mark of fostering the pup, having moved to a more spacious apartment, that Jason popped the question.
"You know," He starts suddenly while the two of you were on the couch, eating Chinese take out with the dog resting on the floor nearby. "No one here seems to be right for Buster." Buster, his name for the dog. He's used it so much he actually started responding to it. "There's someone, I'm sure," You counter, taking a bite of your food. "I know there is," Jason counters. Just as you open your mouth to tell him that makes no sense, he cuts you off. "Us. We're right for Buster." "Think," He says, reaching out to grip your hand. "For three months, we've had him, we've moved with him. He has his spot in the bed, we've worked him into our schedule. He's happy. Why ruin that?" "So you want to adopt him?" You ask, making sure you understood just exactly what he was saying. It felt too good to be true. "Yeah, I do," He says with a small smile. As soon as he finishes speaking you practically lung at him, tackling him into a hug while whispering small 'thank you's. The action makes Buster jump up and want to join in on whatever is going on, leaping onto the couch and sniffing at the two of you, his massive head bumping you both. In that moment, Jason knew he made the right choice. This felt right. It felt good. It felt like home. You, him, and your giant dog.
#my old boy just passed so this is so fucking self indulgent 😭#storm speaks ⛈#storm shorts ☁️#Jason Todd#jason todd x reader#I know in some runs he does have a dog just shhhhhhhh#let me live my fantasy life#red hood#red hood x reader#jason todd fluff#jason todd x you#dc#dc comics x reader#dc x reader#This is literally so long 😭
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completely innocuous vash sheet :) fr practice
#my art#trigun stampede#trigun#vash the stampede#trigun vash#trigun stampede fanart#trigun fanart#vash fanart#STILL dont know the tags gomen ill do research one of these days#anyway . 4 gd days later hes finally done#here is what i am learning . i love his design sm. but jesus CHRIST#all the individual elements r so time consuming i want to tear my face off. im slowly getting more familiar w the arm but God.#im so peeved at how long this took but i am trying to cut myself some slack. remembering tht his design is a 24 hour endeavour#and i drew 4 of him#3 of which being fullbody 2 of which being foreshortened 1 of which being a Maid Dress#the price i pay fr self-indulgence.....the price i pay fr [redacted]#this started out as a treat fr me n it became my purgatory#but it is DONE and now i can look at vash in a maid outfit and tied up and jacket off turtleneck Out and shirtless and- *is shot dead*#anyway huge shoutout to mey rin black butler fr being the og Maid With Gun#stole the thigh bustle from a panel of her it was just too good#anyway take it enjoy the fruits of my labour enjoy him i am . exhausted.
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Different standards
#didnt mean to do this one in quote unquote colour but it wasnt legible without it so. heres a treat i suppose#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat loop#isat bonnie#lucabyteart#coughs up a lung. anyway. ramble time as per usual. this is what i was warming up for btw in case it wasnt obvious#besides being another entry in the 'letting bonnie read loop for filth on accident' series. this is mostly self indulgent musings on#headcanons (and i will just use that word here.) ive previously rambled about in other tags and posts#namely: in the scenario that loop integrates into the party as a New Person for quite a while before The Truth Come Out. i feel they have#a decent chance at really scoring a slam dunk in becoming a guardian figure for bonnie? loop's demeanor is already colder and a tiny#bit more level-headed than siffrin's in the way they seem to discuss bonnie with them. namely pointing out that bonnie#never really hated them. it seems to be one thing they're genuinely at peace with? they've seen by now the truth that bonnie#was just scared and upset. and likely now knows that what bonnie wants is to be treated with grown-up respect within reason. plus loop#already scores bonus points with bonnie since they didnt 1. fuck up bad like sif did in act 5 and 2. saved sif in the party's eyes#... but then when it turns out that this clean-slate relationship with a stranger was siffrin being deceitful? must have been odd.#bonnie seems to really dislike being lied to. the question is whether they'd see it that way? would they feel betrayed there?#anyway. this is set after all those emotions are at least settled some. loop able to be more physically affectionate... and yet#still not letting themselves be quite as close as they'd like perhaps. perhaps...#anyway translucent pyjamas because i dont care if you're comforting a crying child you've GOT to SERVE!!!#and also i feel like the party probably wouldn't let loop stay completely naked for that long. especially not post-reveal anyway
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Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles // 9-1-1, Season 3, Episode 15, Eddie Begins // Homer (trans. Robert Fagles), The Iliad
#911#911 on abc#911edit#evan buckley#buddie#evanbuckleyedit#buddieedit#uservalentina#alielook#useraish#mialook#usertreena#userrin#tuserdaria#tvedit#mlmedit#cinematv#cinemapx#userbbelcer#chewieblog#me shit#me gifs#truly this is just extremely self indulgent#anyway buck as achilles eddie as patroclus#or vice versa if we wanna talk about the lightning scene :)#i could actually go off about this for wayyyy too long#everyone on twitter is rewatching so like i had to yk
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more mario and luigi doodles but i took their mouths away
+ extra unfinished stuff under the cut
#the dear doppelganger weeg one is purely self indulgent bc ive been playing it on loop recently im normal#and i know doppelganger is a different whole thing than what he has but. hey its ok we ball#more spm on the way (i hope!!!!!! as long as i dont get distracted by avemuji or sekai for a bit)#most of this was practicing mario bc i still dont like the way i draw him tbh but i think we're getting somewhere#shoutout priv twt oomfies for dealing with my mario fix bullshit youre all so real#drawing these little guys is so much different from my other little guys i think thats why ive liked drawing them so much constantly#it just feels fresh for me!! i just get to fuck around when i draw them its fun to experiment again#ok done talking i like them a normal amount#mario and luigi#mario#luigi#super mario bros fanart#super mario bros#super mario fanart#spm#super paper mario#mr l#starlow#smb#super mario brothers#mario bros#mario fanart#art#fanart#my art#cloudy draws#nintendo#nintendo fanart
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Sharing a mask is something that can be so intimate actually
#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod mw2#ghostsoap#ghoap#love that tag lmao#cod ghost#cod soap#cod fanart#if you couldnt tell i love soap's red mask#This is extremely self-indulgent#but so is this entire blog#this took way too long tbh but i enjoyed it#bc i experimented with a new style#dont expect anything this long in the near future tho i really need to work on my other non cod projects#also i keep going back and forth between thinking this is too cringe to post and being fine with it#but yknow i already made this blog and it not connected to my other blogs sooo if its that bad i can delete and disappear
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Oops meant to post this earlier for valentino white bag day JRJJEEKKE
Better late than never as they say
#serennedy#luis serra#leon kennedy#re4r#rare froggy chair art post for the month fjjdjd#i dunno how i feel about this its so late at night and my eyes burn so im probably missing so many errors fnrnkdkd#self indulgent long hair on luis bc yes#the homos
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in your black heart is where you'll find me
#self indulgent thing#again ^_^.#i havent drawn mtt in so long i only remember how to draw his initial boxy form LOL#undertale#utdr#mettaton#mettaton ex#vrailart
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Curly's little blurb on his steam trading card just keeps reminding me he is a much more miserable person than people realize.
We don't get a lot of his thoughts, inner confliction that aren't bogged down by what Jimmy says or does. Even in the The Last One and Then Another, his dialogue is reflective, not the Curly before the crash but the result of everything. Parts of the him he was are there of course, but also disfigured and warped beyond recognition just like he is physically.
Curly really doesn't think much of himself and desires. He clearly chases fleeting moments of happiness. He doesn't really have prospects for himself, assumes in a similar way to Swansea, that if it should make it happy then he is happy. Though, he hasn't reached the point Swansea did to admit it doesn't. He neither sees the glass half full or empty, it's just water, something he needs and he'll take it from any perspective.
He wasn't running from anything but he's never really been going towards something either. He's listless. I've been using the term complacent to describe how he feels about his life and the closest people (really just Jimmy) in it, but now that word feels too neutral, too nice. Happier than Curly really was. There isn't just one word for it, he's unfulfilled, uncertain, uninspired. There are no active problems he faces and that's the issue, why should he be upset?
I believe he really is a person who doesn't know who he is or wants to be. He follows a structure. I don't think he's suicidal, but he clearly doesn't think about what makes him happy. He's numb. I suppose that is a better word than complacent, used to the feeling even if he hates it. It doesn't hurt so why stop it?
#like curly is very much does his job goes home takes care of self repeat i dont think hes like an asocial person but he doesn't take the tim#time to indulge in himself the way he thinks hes a bigger picture guy so as long as nothing is disrupted hes relatively okay even if its#slowly chipping away at him and making him feel hollow like he thought space was endless that he could never reach a point of feeling finis#he never had to predict what to do after the end and suddently he realizes there was no end to it because there cant be an end to nothing#hes accomplished so much objectively but hes done nothing with his life outside of his work like he mentions no hobbies other friends or an#thing of the sort he doesn't even feel like he can vent it cause what? hes complaining about how hard it is to get promoted to have securit#in a job you hate and a position that keeps weighing you down like I feel like if he explained himself at the party and didn't let Jimmy t#talk for him hed actually have made points the others would get cause even if they envied his position he still is justified in being unhap#not everything that you think would bring you happiness does or fulfills even a small part of that desire#idk hes a lot more fucked in the head but like towards himself than people realize like how he lets Jimmy treat him is indicitive of that i#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#curly mouthwashing
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BRIDGERTON 3.02 | “How Bright the Moon”
#bridgertonedit#tvedit#perioddramaedit#polinedit#bridgerton#polin#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington#bridgerton spoilers#colin x penelope#penelope x colin#mine#this is so self-indulgent and i don't even care#i just love them you know!!!!#long post
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i'm normal about him
edit: forgot to add my commission link
#sonic the hedgehog#sth#shadow the hedgehog#sonic x shadow generations#sxsg#sonadow generations#sxsg spoilers#artists on tumblr#astrophysician#my art#sketchbook#didn't care about making this clean so i might come back to it#this is so self indulgently edgy i'm having a blast#i spent so fucking long trying to get his the proportions of his head and quills right
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Have a Sun, Moon, and a StarrSpice!
I’ve been super busy with work and other stuff in my life so I haven’t had the time energy or motivation to really draw all that much, but with things settling down a bit I decided to stretch my drawing muscles and dive back in
And who better to do that with than sun and Moon? The most drawable boys ever
Very self indulgent but very much needed with the chaos in my life lately
It feels good to be back
#I’m a firm believer that they have the dorkiest laughs imaginable#like when they really truly gut busting laugh it’s the silliest sounding thing in the world#and none of you can change my mind#i played around a bit with how I draw moon and I’m really liking the half face thing#it’s been so long#sun and moon my beloved#fnaf sb#moondrop#sundrop#my art#fnaf sun#fnaf security breach#fnaf moon#fanart#self insert#self indulgent#it me!#Starrspice#my hair is turning gray#I’m only 23#my brother was 12 when his started graying#he’s 26 now and his hair has very little brown left#I’m rapidly aging before your very eyes#I really like drawing them like this#maybe it’s time to jump back into my aus with this new art style#we shall see#fnaf dca#dca fandom#fnaf daycare attendant#the daycare attendant
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