#and this is how I always see him in it and while I'm reading aftg

[changingtidesandtimesss]

"Kneel."

[aftgphoenix]

How do you feel about Kevin ?

I'm not really sure what you are looking for, anon, so here's a random jumble of thoughts that I hope makes some sort of sense. Thank you so much for the ask!

I think he's such an interesting character and one that I wish we could learn more about. I would love to learn more about his childhood with his mom and then his experiences at the Nest! I wonder if Kayleigh was a good mom, if she spent a lot of time with Kevin, if she let him explore other interests aside from exy. Imagine little Kevin dragging his Mom through different historical sites as they travel around the world for exy! Once Kevin's in the Nest, I keep thinking about Riko and how his friendship with Kevin developed into them being "brothers" and Kevin being Riko's pet. Imagine the slow slide as Riko let his sadistic side grow. I think it probably got noticeable worse when Jean arrived but I imagine it was already bad before then.

With what we do know, though, I think he's hiding a boatload of trauma that he'll likely keep repressing as long as he can until everything implodes. I would love to see him really start working through that in his fourth and fifth years with the foxes with Betsy. Actually, that would be a super cool fic to read! If anyone knows of any/writes one, please let me know!

His growth in the series was really cool to read too. He is still learning how to be his own person with his own thoughts, interests, and personality. He's learning how to be brave and to take a stand against his abusers. He's learning how to overcome the cult mindset from the Nest and he's learning to let Riko go. He's learning how to live a life with more than just exy and to care for others in a way that wasn't allowed in the Nest. He will always be connected to exy, but I think even if he had been raised in a healthy place, he still would have been exy-obsessed. I mean, his mom created the game and his dad is an exy coach (and presumably a really good player prior to that).

I hope he's able to find healthier ways to cope than getting drunk. He deserves so much better than that. (On a side note, my husband's family has struggled with alcoholism and it isn't fun at all. It tears apart families and can cause a lot of negative impact on the kids, even without an abusive aspect.) I understand why he does it, though, because I can't imagine having to live with the memories he does. I mean, watching Nathan kill that man would be traumatic enough but Kevin has seen so much more than that and I know it haunts him.

Unpopular opinion, I know, but I also like him with Thea. I like the idea of him falling in love with someone who isn't very familiar with exy but I just don't think that's very likely to happen. Instead, I like to imagine that he and Thea get a boatload of therapy and rekindle their relationship, first as friends, relearning about each other, then moving into a romantic relationship while they process the absolute horrendousness that the Nest's sexual culture was (what do you mean Riko was in the room? Yikes!!!). 

He's definitely one of my top favorite characters (but let's be real, I have about twenty favorite aftg characters). I love reading fics about him! Hopefully this makes sense and maybe answers your question? Either way, I had a lot of fun writing this all out! I love getting asks, so thank you!!!

[jeanmoreaux]

literally yes to all i could not fall asleep either 😭

i think what's so bRILLIANT about tsc (besides, like, everything) is that nora seemed really nervous that her vision for the story and characters would get swallowed by the HCs the fans have been cooking for years, and while that still could happen in book 2, i felt like while i was reading it her vision was my vision - like i am positive we as fans have influenced her story and maybe jerejean won't turn into anything (i'll eat my arm fr) but that bitch at the very least was like "okay sure fine i'll give you mutual attraction" "i'll give you jerejean friendship and intimacy even if i may not give you sex or romance (just yet)"

and i think the other thing i was so overjoyed about was that even though the og AFTG is definitely (clearly) very queer, nora really stepped up and took it to a whole new level in this one with both the representation and just the overall tone - that like not only are a lot (all????) of the trojans open and together and so incredibly gay, but they're shaping the story and jean and making it less shameful to be gay in exy. like og aftg spent a lot of time being like "don't be gay! this is bad! you can't do this!" and while jean still harbors that (for his own fucked up reasons i'm gonna kms) it's obvious that the tone for this book is so much brighter and gayer.

and! the parallels between neil's story and jean's!!! like obviously we could write essays on that topic alone but in conjunction with that point i just made - seeing the similarities between the house taking in jean and the foxes taking in neil (his lack of possessions, their protectiveness, their attempts to normalize him, their creation of a safe space for him) literally made me want to gouge my eyes out it was so beautiful and sweet and fun and QUEER. like aftg always had aroace undertones and such a huge part of the aro/ace experience is friendship and queer friendship at that and so to get to see this kind of found family play out AGAIN but in a slightly different way with a whole group of gays who are out and proud and happy is just......everything

like it's not that i was *worried* persay because i do trust nora but you never know what you're gonna get with spin-off sequels and this fandom is like a rabid dog and so for her to bravely return to this world after years is amazing in itself but to do it in a way that is.......dare i say.......almost......better than the original.......it blows my mind. and it makes me appreciate the original series in new ways now that we'll have more info on the ravens and all of their bullshit. like i literally am sitting here being like....so....series reread tn queen????

if i wasn't insane before (i was) then i sure as hell am now

~

also. can we talk about jeremy's cheesy af dialogue that makes me squeal? thinking about him saying hecka with his full chest....i love that man

holding hands 🤝✨ felt alive yet so dead once i was done.

also what a glorious ask. i can co-sign all of this and i don’t think i have anything to say that adds value to your points. you’re so right.

nora is so brave for letting us back into that world. because as much as i love and adore this fandom’s passion, it can be intense is a quite negative way at times. so yes, nothing but respect for nora coming back and giving us Her version of the story. the small nods to us (blond jeremy, frosted tips, the cardboard dog etc.) were so very endearing. and i don’t want her to betray her integrity just for the sake of fanservice. i trust her to deliver a great story, even when some of the things i might want to happen will not end up being anything (e.g. jerejean). nora’s vision will feel right because whatever she decides to do and wherever she decides to take this story i know will make sense. it’s very funny to me that you mentioned how you think tsc might be better than the original because i had the same thought. i am hesitant to really settle on it one way or the other yet; mainly because i tend to get very excited about new, shiny things, but also because we don’t have book 2 yet and i think to really Know i have to consider the story as a whole. but you can definitely see that nora improved as a writer in general (which ofc makes sense.)

i fear this will remain THEE aftg year for me. i am already tempted to reread. i don’t think i’ll know a moment of peace from this story in the foreseeable future but i am not gonna complain i’ll just lean into it and indulge.

~

godddd i expected to love jeremy but i didn’t expect to fall for him this hard. several time i caught myself studying his way of engaging with people and made some mental notes. he’s so special to me. i think once we get his backstory it will get even worse. and he does offer a very different perspective and attitude that’s so very refreshing while still being in tune with what we are used to.

[bloody-wonder]

Hello, can I ask from this ask game :

https://www.tumblr.com/threecheersforinking/677824836625694720/anime-ask-game?source=share

You can pick for either of these series : the lymond chronicles, all for the game, a song of ice and fire, harry potter, captive prince?

Thanks 🌻

thanks for the ask!

⚔️the lymond chronicles⚔️

favorite character: phelim o'liamroe, prince of barrow and lord of the slieve bloom...😐🤥 jk it's lymond - the man, the myth, the lemon. i mean if lymond isn't your fave character in the lymond chronicles are you even reading them right?

character i think is underrated: hmmm margaret lennox? i don't see people talk about her too often. justice for the evil ex!

character i think is overrated: philippa. don't even get me started🙄

favorite ship/pairing: while reading i did ship lymond with each and every one of his boytoys which was very entertaining but i wouldn't actually like any of these relationships to be endgame. i firmly believe lymond is bisexual, aromantic and non-monogamous, therefore the only person i would want him to "end up with" is marthe - not as a slash ship but as in lymond and marthe, both in drag, ride into the sunset together to cause chaos and mayhem✨

favorite arc/episode/scene: the hume castle shebacle from book one is my platonic ideal of a fictional experience. just thinking about don luis fernando de cordoba y avila with his "long, exquisite legs" and his perfecto scottish is enough to raise my mood for the rest of the day😁

something i love about this series: tbh the thing i love the most is lymond to the point that i'm afraid to try dunnett's other books bc there will be no lymond in them. however, i will still read them sooner or later bc my second favorite thing about the lymond chronicles is dunnett's witty but sophisticated prose which i'm sure i will find in abundance in her other works

🥍all for the game🥍

favorite character: i love both of my boys equally but i will admit i voted for andrew minyard in that best queer character poll bracket🙈

character i think is underrated: actually i don't think there is one. some of the aftg characters are controversial but i think everyone gets their fair share of love and attention🤷‍♀️

character i think is overrated: in the og trilogy it's nicky and in tsc it's sort of everyone?😅 lol i just don't think they're that interesting but i'm glad other people are having fun with them

favorite ship/pairing: andreil, obviously.

favorite arc/episode/scene: aftg is full of amazing scenes, both quiet and spectacular, but if i have to pick just one i'm gonna go with the first riko roast bc fun fact: i actually abandoned tfc halfway through the first time i tried to read it bc i just didn't know what to do with it - but then i decided to give it a second chance and the riko roast was the scene where i finally comprehended and internalized the chaotic but rebellious vibe of aftg. that's why i never dnf books - you never know which weird selfpub sports anime might become your all time favorite story!

something i love about this series: the way it depicts the relations between the society and people who are treated like outsiders due to their trauma - it always sides with the latter! exemplified by how the team needs andrew and so they have to put up with his little quirks and find ways of communication - instead of him making himself act more normal and agreeable in order to fit in. which i think is pretty much the status quo of writing about trauma so aftg feels very radical in that sense

👑captive prince👑

favorite character: it's laurent, lymond's baby cousin😅

character i think is underrated: aimeric? tbh i haven't read anything capri related in a while, maybe he's the newest fandom fave by now

character i think is overrated: never have i ever understood why everyone insists on resurrecting auguste. he dead! and not that interesting in any case😒

favorite ship/pairing: damen/laurent, since their love is the whole point of the series, but i will say for me it's more like. i'm obsessed with laurent and so i like that damen gets obsessed with him too and falls in love with him bc that's what laurent deserves. however i do not actually like damen nor do i like the final jump from enemies to lovers in the second half of book 3 soooo yeah. many caveats🤷‍♀️

favorite arc/episode/scene: laurent's duel with govart. listen, i'm a simple girl, i love me some competence porn and power fantasies with swords. also! laurent calling out aimeric for all the bad things he secretly believes about himself which leads to aimeric's suicide. that's some fucked up shit, love it👀

something i love about this series: the witty, backhanded, at times scathing exchanges which i started calling pacatesque dialogue upon encountering it in other books (of primarily australian sff authors who are personally acquainted with pacat, it's a whole thing). i know other booklr girlies like to talk about themes and motifs and whatnot but for me all of that is vastly inferior to lines like "tell my uncle boykiller etc etc". i think i just have lots of bottled up bitchiness inside me and like to live vicariously through characters who can vocalize it in such a brutal yet elegant fashion

🐉a song of ice and fire🐉

favorite character: tyrion lannister. lol at this point you can see a pattern: if he's shrewd, traumatized and blonde you can safely bet he's on my blorbo shelf😅

character i think is underrated: i'm gonna go with doran martell. he represents one of my favorite character archetypes - someone who is seen as a simpleton and a pushover but has actually been scheming and masterminding stuff all along. "oberyn was ever the viper. i was the grass. who fears to walk upon the grass? but it is the grass that hides the viper" - is actually one of my favorite quotes from the series. comparing book doran to show doran one can see how he's sort of emblematic for how the show butchered the dorne plotline😒

character i think is overrated: i did like sansa's journey in the books but they end just on the cusp of her turning from a pawn into one of the most capable and dangerous players on the board - something she however hasn't become, not yet. so i think the hype she gets in the fandom, largely based on the show which skipped a lot of steps in her character arc and made her a very basic girlboss, is somewhat undeserved🤷‍♀️

favorite ship/pairing: i definitely feel a certain kind of way about jaime & brienne but idk if i ship them in the proper sense of the word. their developing relationship is probably the most compelling in the series and some of its aspects are very personal for me as a weird looking ace girl, among other things, so i don't think i want them to become a *couple*. but i do want them to become *something*. if they survive, that is😬

favorite arc/episode/scene: tyrion's trial is one of the most excruciating and heart-wrenching yet dramatic scenes i've ever experienced. i have to admit i remember it better from the show bc that was just Peak Television and peter dinklage's acting?? unparalleled. a scene so epic it made me cry every time i watched it. just thinking about it gives me chills🫨

something i love about this series: i've spent an ungodly amount of time thinking about what makes asoiaf superior to other fantasy series and the character work and complex morality are certainly up there but the one thing that speaks to me personally and which i struggle to find elsewhere is something i call the slytherclaw ethos. normally the characters of western sff are rewarded by the narrative for being brave, kind, other boring gryffinpuff things, regardless of whether they could've *realistically* prevailed thanks to those qualities alone. in the world of asoiaf one is instead rewarded for cunning and ambition - or at the very least it's clear a character will not get anywhere without learning how to play the game of thrones. this difference is at the core of the subversiveness asoiaf gets both praised and criticized for and, as someone who relates to characters who rely on their brain more than their heart and other muscles and would like to see them elevated above generic fantasy protags, i find this approach to storytelling in general and to sff specifically very appealing

[f1-disaster-bi]

15 Questions

Thank you for tagging me in this @f1-birb

1. Are you named after anyone?

My middle name is my Grandmother's name, but if fictional characters count then my first name is also after someone. It's a character from a book by a classical author my Mam loves

2. When was the last time you cried?

Um, Sunday night/Monday morning while reading a AFTG fic that made me very sad and then very mad.

3. Do you have kids?

Unless you count my cat, then no. I do not have kids, but maybe someday

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I used to play Gaelic football, football, tag rugby and I ran cross country but not for long or very seriously?

However I did swim competitively until my late teens. I was on my town's swim team and won a good few medals for induvial and relay races. I have some County and National medals for my Butterfly stroke but I quit when it stopped being fun, I had my LC coming up and I did damage to my shoulder

5. Do you use sarcasm?

The day I don't use sarcasm is the day I die

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Hmmm, their eyes and smile? Maybe their shoulders too

7. What is your eye colour?

I have very green eyes, like proper green eyes. The kind they stereotype us Irish with sometimes 😂

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I do love a happy ending but I love horror movies more. I live and breath them. I love all the different genre's of horror except maybe gore. I'm actually planning a Scream re-watch soon even if the third movie is crap

9. Any talents?

I can sing somewhat well? I play the piano and have since I was eight but I wouldn't say I'm talented at it. I'm better at teaching it because I am not a very technical player, I am more musically inclined which makes some pieces a dick to play.

Is being annoying a talent? I'm sure my friends would argue that as well as being clumsy as one of my talents

10. Where were you born?

In a county that I didn't and have never lived in in Ireland because our local hospital was shit the year I was born (newsflash: it's still shit)

11. What are your hobbies?

I read a lot and across a lot of genres. I love a good documentary. I love writing, even it doesn't love me. I love going for walks and going swimming. I see travelling as a hobby, but by that I mean even going to a town I haven't been too back home and just wandering (I'm broke and don't have much money for international travel beyond doing so for my research).

I enjoy cross-stitching!

I adore baking and am very sad that I don't have an oven in my little flat over here in Czechia.

12. Do you have any pets?

I do! Currently I have two cats that can be considered family pets although one is purely mine and I pay for him.

There's my sisters cat Echo who is pure black and looks like Toothless with her ears back, and there is my absolute disaster of a cat, Oliver, who is white and ginger and the dumbest creature to ever grace this Earth and purrs like a tractor

13. How tall are you?

On a good day? 5'4

14. Favorite subject at school?

English and History were always my favourite subjects. I could never choose between the two. I loved reading and literature and poetry and picking things apart until they made sense.

The same with History. I loved following sources to find the truth or the best interpretation of the truth through various documents and existing literature. I like giving a voice back to moments forgotten or that haven't gotten the attention they deserve which is why I decided to make a career out of it (if possible)

15. Dream job?

I would love to be an author, but I don't have that type of talent or perseverance.

I will happily settle and aim to be a proper Historian

Time to tag some more fun people to answer these! Off to the usual suspects @princelancey, @wolfsbanesbite, @faerieroyal

[bluejayblueskies]

Rules: List Five Comfort Characters And Tag Five People. This is in no particular order.

Tagged by @organchordsandlightning and @magnetarmadda (like three weeks ago i am so sorry 😭)

And I'll tag uhhh @anonymoussong, @quigalchemist, @thewrongshop, @judesstfrancis, and @wordsintimeandspace! if you want!

funnily enough though i gained a new comfort character in those three weeks! who knew!!!! it gets spot number one bc i am rotating it in my brain rn 💕

list under the cut!

Murderbot (The Murderbot Diaries) - ohhh my goddddd i truly have not related so hard to a character in a while like ... it's just like me for real and i love it 💜 i'm almost done with fugitive telemetry and then i'm going to go back and listen to all the audiobook versions because i need more right now immediately. it's just ... it's really nice especially to see murderbot's (what i view as) autistic traits accommodated and respected by the preservation team, especially the bit in the first book where mensah catches on to the fact that it doesn't like eye contact and adjusts accordingly. i can see this book series fundamentally changing my worldview, and i'm 100% here for it. honorable mention: ART my absolute beloved 🥰

Parker Yang (Malevolent) - 'jay, how can parker be a comfort character if he's dead?' well you see i love him, that's how. truly though, sometimes when i'm sad i think about parker and then i 🥺 and then i am a little less sad. i go absolutely wild for pre-canon arthur & parker fics. grabby hands, more parker always.

Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives) - to absolutely nobody's surprise, my favorite bi ace archivist is on this list 🥰 jon's another character that makes me go 'oh he's just like me fr' and i love writing him! he was the first character that i really explored my own asexuality through (though i'd known i was asexual for a while before coming across him), and i just think he's neat and i am putting a blanket around his shoulders and keeping him away from the horrors 💕

Andrew Minyard (All For the Game) - if you're at all familiar with the AFtG series, this probably seems like an incredibly strange choice, but for me comfort character = a character that i'm glad i met and that i adore and that makes me happy by existing and sometimes that makes me feel things about myself, and andrew hits all of these points. i sometimes think about andrew's past and what he's gone through and what he has now and i want to chew through drywall, and without getting too overly personal, there are aspects of his storyline that hit me hard when i first read them and have stuck with me ever since. if you haven't read the series, i highly recommend it (though i also recommend looking up a list of content warnings beforehand because it's quite intense)

Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) - there are a lot of characters who could have gotten this final spot, but percy deserves it honestly. i've read the og 5-book percy jackson series like ten times and percy is just ... i loved him as a kid and i love him even more as an adult. he's the kind of character where i pick up a book and i start reading from his POV and i feel like i've just sat down in front of a fire with a cup of hot cocoa and a fleece blanket. he also reminds me of the good parts of my childhood, which is not an easy feat, and i appreciate that 💜

[frizzy-frizz-frizz]

I wanted to copy and paste my fave bits of what you said about kevjean but all of its amazing and I love it "kevin and jean are so intrinsically tied together, they know each other first and foremost." Kill me now jesus christ "kevin had to leave and jean couldnt." Literally just stab me in the chest "that is where the song ends almost as abruptly as the books" im screaming???? I literally did not think of this but you're so right oh my god let me go listen to this song again right now

"Also is it just me or does it feel like neil josten, 'demisexual who never really understood his own attraction' is listening to this while making a kevin day binder on the run" you've honest to god read my mind that's exactly what I'm associating when I listen to the song. His obsession and jealously and the binder and if one of them had to make it he wanted it to be kevin. Also "I can't dare to dream about you anymore" him on the run for sure but also when both of them thought neil was going to be dead by the end of the year

"oh to be a random exy fan in the aftg universe." Honestly the edits ppl would make would be incredible

"NEIL REMEMBERING WHAT KEVIN WAS LIKE AS A KID" BABE YOU GET ME THIS IS SO IT "known for who you know, you know you'll always know me" kevin being the one thing from his past that he wanted to keep that he was still attached to. Also the song reminds of the name of the game by dayurno (it killed and revived me) and Neil just watching Kevin's game in chapter 2 and just fucking marvelling over him

BELIEVE?? The way he has so much faith in Neil and Andrew the way he sees so much potential in them and insists on dragging it out

THROUGH THE GHOST?? "ITS SO KEVIN" You're so right tho the world will never know him like he knows himself him looking at his past self not being able to recognise himself anymore it's all so good

Also I know I said I've never considered nothing new with him in mind but now that I have him in mind it's just "HOW DOES A PERSON KNOW EVERYTHING AT 18 BUT NOTHING AT 22" ALSKSK "WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME IF I WAS NOTHING NEW???" MY GOD

I adore him to primadonna I've always thought the song was so him and I'm glad for the agreement "all I wanted was the world" "the rise the fall" "you say that I'm kinda difficult" "I know I've got a big ego I really don't know why it's such a big deal though" LIKE HELLO IT WORKS SO WELL

ALSO I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS ON MY TEARS RICHOCHET "And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want, just not home" Kevin directly after leaving the nest??? Or directly after joing it "And you're the hero flying around, saving face" the ravens pretending it was a skiing accident??? "You turned into your worst fears" Honestly there are a couple of ppl that could be referring to

TEEN IDLE "The pretty lies the ugly truth And the day has come where I have died Only to find I've come alive" him leaving the nest thinking his life was over to everything that came after

You'd be paranoid too is a song I've literally never heard of but jesus christ "I learned to live with these eyes in my closet Hands in my pockets Alone but surrounded" growing up famous?? In the nest?? ALONE BUT SURROUNDED???

Overwhelmed is literally every anxiety/panic attack scene from the books and I lost a friend kinda makes me think its about him towards riko in like a very "how did I lose a friend I never had"

God this is probably longer than the first message I'm so sorry its gotten out of hand but unfortunately I'm not done

My brain fucking perked up when it heard my alcoholic friends I have no idea why is sounds so familiar but its such a great rec I'm obsessed it fits and it's such a fun song to bop to for some reason

I'm obsessed with willow as a kandrew song kevin is so "They count me out time and time again" and "I come back stronger than a 90s trend"  "Rough on the surface but you cut through like a knife" HELLO "I'll meet you after dark" night practice??? "Show me the places where the others gave you scars" That one fucking scene where Andrew takes his left hand and checks it over I can't deal

This is me trying is so very very Kevin it's hard to just pick a singular line. ALSO Liquid Smooth LIQUID SMOOTH

Anyway I think this is longer than the last ask lmao

i dont mind at all that this is longer than the first message. in fact i am ECSTATIC. im so glad you're liking the playlist, its the BEST feeling

the kevjean dynamic has me in a chokehold i cant stop thinking about them. i feel so validated rn FINALLY someone gets my attachment to that song

"Also "I can't dare to dream about you anymore" him on the run for sure but also when both of them thought neil was going to be dead by the end of the year" GOD and when he looks at kevin that night, kevin who wanted to give him everything the world has to offer and, "will you still teach me?" "Every night" i am DECEASED. THIS SONG. IT MAKES ME THINK OF THAT SCENE AGAIN

SAME dororthea and liability and lost remind me so much of 'the name of the game'...i should reread it again...

believe hit so close to my heart AND YEAH YOU GET IT. kevin's unflinching faith and trust in those two always astounds me. he's the kind of person who just see right through you. past the words and pretensess, right down to your core. just looks at you and sees everythinig you are. everything you could be. and THEN he tells you that you can make it. that you can do it all. he puts the world and all it offers within your reach for the first time and- OF COURSE andrew and neil are obsessed with him. and, no one had ever told them they were worth it before. these three will be the end of me i swear.

"LORD WHAT WILL BECOEM OF ME ONCE IVE LOST MY NOVELTY" YES YES EXACTLY. it so perfect. even the AGES are right.

YES my alcoholic friend s sounds so familiar and i think its cause it sounds like a marina song?? somehow?? but mostly i added it cause of the last verse, "Should I choose a noble occupation? If I did I'd only show up late and sick,

"And they would stare at me with hatred Plus my only natural talent's wasted on my alcoholic friends"

KEVIN FEELING LIKE HE'S TIED TO EXY LIKE. he will keep going back to exy. even if he got to choose to do something else, showing up late and sick, his natural talents only on display on a court.

"ALL I EVER WANTED WAS THE WORLD" YES THANK YOU its works so so well

disclaimer: you might not agree with me at all about my tears ricochet and that's totally fine, my interpretation is VERY self indulgement.

hear me out, i associate my tears ricochet with post-baltimore kandrew. specifically the fallout and the arguments and guilt and pain that followed. because not only does andrew have to earn back kevin's trust, they both have to rebuild their relationship from the ground up. SO imagine my tears ricochet as that process

"I didnt have it in myself to go with grace, cause when id fight you used to tell me i was brave" kevin is all caustic, brutal honesty. he would hurt, and he wouldn't soften the blow. but he'll always come back

"Cursing my name, wishing I stayed, you turned into your worst fears" I FIRMLY believe andrew has had some horrible horrible thoughts about being like every person who's hurt kevin. of kevin being afraid of him. he would throw all of himself into

"We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean. Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring" kevin and andrew know each other all too well. they're the only ones who can truly push each other. remember when kevin walked intllo court with a raquet in his right hand and andrew was right behind him?? When kevin made andrew TRY for the sake of it?? ('UNSTOPPABLE FORCE VS IMMOVABLE OBJECT' DYNAMIC MY DARLING)

"And you can aim for my heart, go for blood,but you would still miss me in your bones" You think after calmed down from the fear of losing neil he'd see those bruises on Kevin's throat and NOT panic?? That the thought of losing kevin wouldn't send him into a full blown panic? Bullshit. and KEVIN who after it all keeps choosing andrew, who keeps putting faith in him, WOULDN'T keep trying to rebuild?? listen those two are practically melded together okay

"and I still talk to you (when im screaming at the sky)" ANDREW ON THE ROOF

"You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same" IM SOBBING THESE TWO THEY END ME I WILL NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT THEM

I HAVE MORE KANDREW SONGS THAT I HAVENT ADDED YET BUT I WILL

I have so many kandrew songs

I think of them too often

To be honest, I associate 'I lost a friend' to kevin and jean. specifically kevin thinking about jean and all the emotions that come with. this is, once again, about kevin running away to the foxes and jean being at the nest. BUT for extra sad you can remember all the drafts nora wrote where Jean died.

ALSO I like you thoughts on the song being about kevin and riko. riko who he was friends with once, when they were very young. who promised him they'd make court together. who got worse and worse until, soon enough, there might as well have been no trace of the boy who was kevin's friend

WILLOW KILLED ME ITS SO THEM YOU'RE SO RIGHT

"Wherever you stray, ill follow, begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans" not kevin and andrew barging into each other lives and refusing to let the sink, stubbornly staying afloat and lifting each other up. utterly craving each others plans and expectations of the future. Andrew digging his heels into the ground and yet following Kevin and he promises andrew the world and them drags him towards it

"Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind" and "Like you were a trophy or a champion ring, and there was one prize I'd cheat to win" ANDREW ABOUT KEVIN who pushes and pushes and constantly gives all he has and demands the best

"Wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark, show me the places where the others gave you scars" Just. THEM. IM SOBBING

more kandrew recs:

Silence by marshmello, Im not okay by weathers, 505 by arctic monkeys, I am not a robot by marina, (twin sized mattress and lost are already on the playlist), and MOST IMPORTANTLY,

wolves without teeth by monsters and men THIS SONG IS SO. THEY ARE SO. its perfect to me.

[alcego]

💕 🦋 and 💡? :)

helooooooo, thanks for dropping by!

💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

honestly, it's hard to choose a favorite! i have a fondness for the seagull fic, simply because it was fun to write and i like the way it turned out. it's a reminder that i thrive on taking a ridiculous premise and exploring it seriously. also, it's funny, both to write and to read.

i have a similar fondness for Wind Through Night Pines, which is partially because i adore cyborgs and partially because the MDZS Remix handed me such a lovely story to play with. i remember reading treemaidengeek's Tea with the Unquiet Dead and knowing immediately that i could adapt their story to a scifi setting to explore the themes on my own terms. it was such a pleasure to work with.

of course, i would be remiss not to mention Strange New World, which is still my most kudos'd fic, for good reason. the smut was fun to write, as it always is with Wangxian, but Holly Zane asked me to write a quarantine fic, and that, to me, was the most delicate part. i put genuine thought into how i wanted to explore the very real, painful world we were navigating, and came to the decision that the relationship needed to balance that tension. at the time i wrote that fic, the covid vaccine was still being approved, and we knew little about it beyond the promise that it would keep us safe. i channeled my insecurity about the uncertain future into that fic and turned it into a place of hopeful refuge, and it seemed to be what people needed. i will never forget how it felt to write that fic or see the genuine impact it had on people.

i won't link it here, since it's very much a WIP and its status on AO3 is tenuous, but Vestigial is also near and dear to me for reasons that i haven't yet been able to share with the world.

so, in essence, not one favorite, but i have several that i return to often!

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

oh man, i obviously have my preferences (Wei Wuxian in MDZS, Andrew in AFTG), but i'm not sure if i have a capital F, Favorite. Andrew was a bit of an outlier in that i use a more reserved, particular voice with his POV, but generally speaking i really enjoy writing characters prone to rambling, as i, too, enjoy a good ramble here and there. if i had to choose a favorite, i'd probably land closer to Wei Wuxian, but there's a real chance Buck gives him a run for his money, if only because i enjoy the voice i've given him in Educator's Guide.

💡How many WIPs do you currently have?

as many as it takes LOL.

more serious answer: i have a lot. some are dead, destined to be no more than a forgotten page in a digital writer's notebook, while others are marinating, waiting for me to come back to them. off the top of my head, i have 5-6 fic WIPs that i fully intend to finish, some of which are longfic, others of which just needed time to rest. for my personal projects, i believe there's another 5-6 on the burner. like i said, i'm a slow writer.

worth noting that i'm very much of the mind that no writing is wasted writing. as long as i'm finishing something, i don't mind letting some projects fall to the wayside. not everything needs to be finished, now or ever, and by allowing myself the freedom to move on as needed, i find that i actually finish more projects than if i hog-tied myself to one story at a time.

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

[paradoxolotl]

Hi! Previous anon. Just wanted to thank you for answering my ask it really makes me happy that you and many other understood what I was saying.

There were a few others in the comments who may have misunderstood me and I just wanted to clear that up. You totally don't have to answer this one– I'm not trying to start a war. This is just for my piece of mind.

I just want to make it very very very clear. There is NOTHING wrong about men wearing dress or make up or looking more feminine. Also– being emotional does NOT make you more feminine. It is good be in touch with your emotions, especially for men.

What *I'm* saying is: that is not Neil and Andrew. Don't get me wrong, I love a fluffy fics as much as the next guy but people seem to be throwing the whole characters personality out the window and it hurts my heart.

And the amount of heteronormative feminization that goes on in our in our fandom just, oof. And if anyone tries to come for me saying "well Neil can wear a dress without it being heteronormative" I see that and ask–

Why is Andrew never the one in a dress?

I have read hundreds of AFTG fics, seen lots and lots of fan art. Tonnnnnnsssss of those have Neil in a dress and or lingerie. But Andrew? Less than 10. Maybe less than 5.

I'm really truly not trying to shit on anyone here and how they interrupt the universe. I enjoy a fic OOC every once in a while. But people have to realize how damaging it is to assign gender roles to a gay couple. I see it ALL THE TIME in gay literature. Whether is the Captive Prince fandom or Reddie or Snowbaz. It's a huge problem.

SO I just wanted to say thank you to YOU for recognizing that there isn't ANYTHING WRONG with being a soft, fem, twink BUT that that's not NEIL.

Hey I know this wasn’t meant for me but I’m talking about this anyway because I just went on a whole rant last night about this.

It’s just like you said. The issue is not men wearing dresses. It’s not men having emotions. The reason people are upset is that in this fandom, it is a trend to overwrite character’s core aspects, Neil’s especially. His ace erasure is a beast all of its own, but I can’t tackle both without creating a whole novel here.

This post isn’t to say OOC fics should never happen. They absolutely should and they’re fun and I love them as much as the next person. I write them too. But a few too many of OOC fics lean into toxic tropes or disregard an entire community, and that is an issue.

Neil never was a damsel in distress. He made a deal with Andrew because he wanted to play a sport, not because he thought Andrew could actually protect him from the mob. He fought his own battles, he fought other people’s battles, and yet there’s a trend of making Andrew the knight in shining armour.

Again, that’s not saying it’s a terrible thing to do. I am absolutely not saying to never write that because it’s bad an awful. I am saying why is it always Neil.

I’ll repeat your point, because it’s important. There’s nothing wrong with liking Neil in dresses, or skirts, or makeup, or any of that. It’s not being able to see Andrew the same. If you can’t switch their roles, it’s a question of why.

In canon they are both hardened and jagged and rude and abrasive. So why is Neil all too often softened and put into a different role while Andrew is left as is so that they fit a stereotype? A stereotype that is all too often extremely toxic for both parties.

My issue has never been taking a character and running with it. I may not enjoy a fic with certain characterizations, but I also don’t enjoy coffee. I’m an adult, so when I do find something I don’t have a taste for, I just won’t read it. Here is when I have an issue:

Ace spec erasure. Healing erasure. Removal of proper consent. Toxic characters and relationships. Toxic representation of a community.

Unfortunately, many times, these find their way into the stereotypical feminine/masculine relationship we see in fandom. Not all the time, but often.

Andrew and Neil’s relationship is beautiful, and it does suck to see it get twisted into something darker. Make them OOC, explore their characters, but keep them healthy. They have respect, consent, trust, and honesty. Please, do not overwrite that.

[jingerhead]

I posted 1,189 times in 2021

267 posts created (22%)

922 posts reblogged (78%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 3.5 posts.

I added 2,208 tags in 2021

#aftg - 651 posts

#jinger's recs - 360 posts

#random thoughts from jinger - 213 posts

#aftg fanart - 182 posts

#aftg fanfic - 149 posts

#jinger's works - 148 posts

#beefy andrew supremacy - 134 posts

#andreil - 129 posts

#tfc - 121 posts

#all for the game - 121 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#oh man just the thought of him dying andrews hair 🥺🥺🥺🥺 the trust oh him working the dye into andrews hair and washing out in the shower

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Idk if this counts as a prompt but i LOVE anything where neil is a better flirt than andrew and andrew gets all flustered in his andrew way

AH YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT

Side note: I am a horrible flirt. Like, the absolute worst. But I'm gonna try my best for this, I hope you like it anon!

(listen I'd like to thank @paradoxolotl for helping me so much I literally don't know how to do it I owe her my life)

~*~

It was a well known fact that Neil Josten's mouth had gotten him in trouble on more than one occasion. Sometimes it was irritating, and other times Andrew's mind went blank after hearing some kind of witty retort Neil would throw at someone. Which wasn't a problem, because Andrew had enough self control to not 'panic' when something like this happened. Usually he just removed himself from the situation, knowing that Neil could fight his own battles perfectly fine.

But this...was nothing like cutting comebacks.

You see, somehow, someway, Andrew had decided to start flirting with Neil Josten. It had started long before that kiss on the rooftop or that one night at Eden's, and now he was...really trying, he supposed. This entire past week he'd tried saying a few lines that only seemed to confuse Neil, but it hadn't taken long for Andrew to learn that the ones that really got to Neil were nothing about his appearance. One time Andrew had been listening to Neil talk out loud about a math problem he was having trouble with, and without thinking he'd just decided to say, "You're smart."

It was entertaining to see the way Neil's eyes had widened in surprise.

Keep Reading...

272 notes • Posted 2021-08-21 02:32:42 GMT

#4

aftg headcanons of neil + fruits or other teams meeting the exy-sport-running-obsessed mess that is neil josten and kevin day?

Ahhhhhh I'll answer this while I finish up other requests :)

I love the headcanon that Neil really enjoys fruits and isn't really into much other sweets.

He really likes blackberries and raspberries. If they get a carton while on a grocery run, it'll likely be gone by the next day. He will risk a stomachache to do this. Every time Andrew spots him eating out of the carton like a maniac, he'll remind Neil that he's going to feel awful later. Neil always ignores this and refuses to complain but he will pout.

He also likes oranges. He's a monster that will eat the zest. He's horrified SO many people because of this.

He will also eat a lemon without flinching? It's an awful experience and he doesn't like lemons but one time he and Kevin had been arguing, he accidentally grabbed a lemon instead of an orange and pealed it and went to eat it. Kevin was stunned to silence and Neil immediately regretted everything but he refused to back down so he just ate it. And now it's just something he does through sheer willpower alone.

He isn't that into strawberries? He'll eat them if they're around and there's no other option, but they're not his favorites.

Blueberries are untrustworthy. They're either super sour or mushy and gross, so he avoids them at all costs.

Neil only eats green grapes and he's very passionate about it. Anytime anyone mentions any other type of grape he will rant about how green grapes are the only type worth eating and he doesn't even have a very good argument about it? When anyone asks him why his default answer is because, "They're not mushy and don't taste bland."

Read The Long List of HCs Here...

282 notes • Posted 2021-06-08 16:58:30 GMT

#3

512 notes • Posted 2021-11-21 05:29:25 GMT

#2

For 100-follower-day prompts: Neil trying to explain the differences between beefy twinyards to the other foxes (or, alternatively, trying to explain how he tells the difference WITHOUT mentioning the beefiness 👀)? Love your stuff btw, thanks for all you do!

Now this is quality content, thank you so much, lovely!! Here's a short:

They were trying to trick him again.

Neil and Kevin had gone to the court for some early practice before actual practice, and now Neil was paying the price for not traveling with Andrew. He and Aaron had dressed in baggy black sweatshirts, thick sweatpants, and only wore socks on their feet. Andrew had removed his earrings and Aaron had styled his hair like Andrew's. The rest of the Foxes were sitting in the lounge, smirking amongst themselves and snickering once in a while, no doubt at whatever face Neil currently had on his face.

"You guys..." he huffed. There had to be a bet of some kind, and a good one, too. The only reason Andrew and Aaron went along with bets were if the prize was worth it.

"Go on, Neil," Allison said cheerfully. She was the organizer, no doubt.

"This isn't funny," Neil said lowly. "And it's getting old."

"You only say that because you lost last time," Matt replied with a loud laugh.

Neil didn't loose last time, because there was no bet last time. Last time, Andrew was being a dick, and Neil had been feeling sick and miserable. Aaron shouldn't have walked into their dorm that day if he didn't want to get mistaken for his brother.

"Just guess, Neil," Allison said.

Keep Reading...

755 notes • Posted 2021-06-16 00:49:07 GMT

#1

My multi-chaptered wip: *sobbing* please....just update me once...it's been 2 months...

Me, writing another domestic-fluff oneshot: no

2563 notes • Posted 2021-06-18 14:44:58 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[i-did]

Ok ok this may be a dumb question but we'll see, what are your thoughts on bdsm + andreil? The vast vast majority of these types of fics have Andrew as the dom (and I get why) BUT theres 1 dom Neil fic and I'm like 99% sure I think I saw u comment on it so I'm assuming ur reading it and enjoying it too. And tbh, I find it much better than pretty much all the dom Andrew stuff, I hadnt realised the potential dom Neil could have until I read it. But anyway, I wanted ur thoughts? 🤲 (this is so badly phrased I apologise)

Lmfaooo being perceived is so weird. I hope I didn't say anything because I remember commenting on that fic and thinking about commenting something about my personal sex life, but I don't remember if I did lmfaooo. Omg okay, all that aside–time to now respond to this seriously.

Okay regarding that specific fic, yeah I read a lot of AFTG fics of all types, I haven't read something NSFW in a while, but when I saw the ‘Dom!Neil’ tag I decided to give it a shot. It’s interesting seeing how other authors go about their ideas and just enjoying their story. It doesn’t align with my personal ideas of everything obviously, but those are my personal HC and that fic is that authors personal HC. I like that they’re exploring something that this fandom doesn’t see explored a lot and is just a fun read, lol. Honestly I give up on most BDSM fandom fics because the depiction of Neil makes me uncomfortable ...almost always. I agree a lot more with this fics concept of how they would explore power vs control in a BDSM sexual sense, than most Dom!Andrew Sub!Neil fics– which I have long ago stopped trying to read.

Okay here are my personal ideas about Andrew and Neil, and how they would explore sex.

Many NSFW HC below the cut:

I personally don’t think canon Andrew and Neil would go into BDSM culture or ascribe to either roll strictly. I feel they wouldn’t like established dynamics like that and would get turned off by that aspect, especially since Andrew both craves control of situations but fears ‘being like them’ and a lot of Dom play is about power dynamics that he wouldn't be comfortable with. Andrew sees power in sex as different as control during sex. He needs a controlled environment, and be in control of the other by having them listen to his boundaries, but he can’t feel he’s overpowering the other person. I don’t think he could do a lot of strictly Sub things either for similar reasons, he would feel like he's giving up control of the situation in a way that could make him very uncomfortable.

Neil on the other hand is also often portrayed as a very textbook sub, but I don't think he is. I see him written as a brat a lot, but personally I don’t see him doing that since a lot of what playing with a brat is, is giving them what they want and denying them what they want and them ‘defying you’ and stuff. It's like a form of playful miscommunication I don't see Andrew or Neil ever actually doing. Obviously all healthy and proper play is outlined and discussed beforehand, but I see Andrew and Neil as needing the actions themselves to be clear and cut and dry.

Neil also gets off on Andrews pleasure, Andrew is the same about Neil, they're almost like a feedback loop of “the other enjoying themselves is inherently hot.” to me, Neil getting off on other people (Andrew) getting off is a very Dom like quality. In turn, Andrew is very turned on by pleasuring Neil, but from the point of his knees, which is almost sub like, he is turned on by sucking someone else off and seeing how into it they are. Either way, I think they both wouldn’t be into hardcore BDSM or BDSM culture but also aren’t vanilla. I don’t see either of them going to leather clubs instead of Edens and going to Folsom Fair and joining BDSM social groups and stuff.

I also don’t think either would ever use titles for the other, I think they don’t call each other by their names often on a day-to-day basis, since usually the people were talking to already know their name, and we don’t need to use it for clarification. I do think–just like in canon with emotionally charged moments–names will be used with more emphasis, especially Abram which is not used frequently.

Side note about my Jewish Neil HC: Judaism rocks because sex isn’t shamed, but rather considered a blessing and a holy act. In fact, it’s a good thing to have sex on Shabbat, G-d is actively like ‘fuck yeah you little humans, enjoy life’s pleasures and each other's company’ sex was designed to feel good and a way to connect. Shabbat is all about human connection with those important to us, and a day of rest away from work, so sex on Shabbat is actually actively a good thing. I don’t think Neil is ever religiously Jewish, but Andrew making a joke about this once would be peak to me. Which also fits Abram, a very Jewish name I HC to be not just Neil’s middle name but his Jewish name, and is used in said holy context of sex.

I think like a lot of healthy adults who are sexually active, they will explore and will be more adventurous to try new and other things, especially when dealing with issues like waning to get off but having touch aversion and issues like that. I have a lot of sex life HC about them actually, ways they navigate erectile dysfunction, mental health, and what they like in a safe environment. They trust each other, and I like imagining different ways aspects of their relationship would change or evolve in my head in all different types of ways, including sexual. I also enjoy giving them kinks and inclinations I specifically don’t have, because it’s like me exploring the concept of why someone else might like something even though I personally don’t. I’m not imagining things that make me uncomfortable necessarily, just things I'm neutral on or don’t see the appeal of, but know why they appeal to others and try to imagine what these characters might think.

I feel canon Andrew and Neil explore sex and dynamics that make them comfortable, I have HC about Andrew possibly exploring pup play and wearing a collar for Neil partially as a “joke” in the beginning, but discovering they really like it. I also HC Neil is really into athletic stuff sexually, he thinks Andrew half dressed with his padding still on and a jock strap is just peak sex appeal. I also think Neil is very sensory, and makes associations with smells and senses easily, so he develops a sweat kink, which leads into his armpit kink. Neil isn't turned on by ‘the bad smell of sweat’ but rather the fact that when Andrew is sweaty he smells like Andrew a lot, rather than after a shower he smells more like soap, and he can’t smell Andrew as much. Andrew on the other hand prefers cleaner sex. He’s not triggered by dirty sex though– he used to suck guys off at an alt dance club and is used to the smell of sweaty balls, it's just not an active turn on. Neil has ‘nothing is hotter than Andrew wearing running shoes and socks, and only running shoes and socks’ energy to me too. I think Andrew feels good about himself in leather, but isn't going to be a leather daddy and wear the leather assless chaps and the cap, he will wear the leather harness that every gay wears to pride, but he wears it just for Neil. Also, Neil loves Andrews pecs, Neil’s kinda a boob guy, but for Andrew’s pecs specifically.

I personally think Andrew and Neil typically don’t have penetrative sex. They do it sometimes–and when Andrew is ready he will bottom more as a way to prove something to himself than anything–but it’s not their preferred way or their ‘go to’. When they finally do, they don’t see it as ‘finally having sex for the first time’, since all the sex they've been having is real sex, even if its oral, hand jobs, etc. I don’t think Neil is naturally inclined to bottoming, and since even the visual of topping can make Andrew uncomfortable, they enjoy sex in any other ways, thigh fucking, docking, Andrew fucking Neil’s ass cheeks, sucking each other off, mutual masturbation, frottage, etc. and it leads to stronger orgasms when they don’t have to hope ever second will be a cliff edge and turn into a panic attack. Safer waters are simply more comfortable for them to swim in, and they deem all sex as equal in ‘value.’ that being said, Andrew likes his ass being ate, as long as its just Neil’s tongue, while Neil is neutral on his ass being ate, but loves doing it to Andrew.

I also think they would explore toys, but not in the way they're often explored in fics, which is very vibrator and dildo centric. I think they would use jacking off toys, the disposable egg kind or some more long term ones, maybe even something they could use at the same time. I don’t see them ever actually using handcuffs or restraints really either. Andrew would see Neil tied up as an equivalent statement of ‘I don't trust you not to touch me’ when he wants to actively progress past that, and shows he trusts Neil by not holding his arms back or letting him touch him. Andrew had to hold down previous partners, but Neil is different, Neil listens. This isn’t my personal opinion about restraint, but it is what I think Andrew would think.

I have no idea if this is what you meant by ‘my thoughts’ but here they are. *puts something in your open palms,* idk what emoji that would be

[kevindayprotectionsquad]

as someone who loves neil and andrew i do not hate aaron at all i'm new to the fandom and only just got the books. i'm still on the first book. but why do so many people hate aaron? all the characters have their flaws all the characters have their good parts that's what make them all human. so i guess what i'm asking is why does aaron get so much hate? it seems unjustified and cruel. no ones perfect. thanks for reading all this! have a good weekend

I’m going to try to answer this without being too controversial, and without being too spoilery since you haven’t read the entire series. This is something that has low key bothered me about the aftg fandom for a while, and sometimes I scream into the void about it. These are just some observations and opinions I’ve made over time. This is by no means directed towards any certain person or blog, y’all are obviously allowed to think and process the books however y’all want. That’s what makes books so fun.

Don’t get me wrong, I also love Andrew and Neil. I was cheering them on when I read the series the first time, and I loved catching little hints I missed the first time when I reread. I enjoy the majority of the content about them on here. I think they’re story is interesting. However, that doesn’t mean I excuse or condone some of their actions. I’ll get deeper into that in a second.

The reason I think people dislike/hate Aaron so much is because of two canon things that I’ve connected to what people are saying about Aaron. One being his reactions to Nicky at times, and two being a scene in the Kings Men (I’ll try to be as spoiler free for you since you haven’t gotten to it yet). These get him labeled and reduced down to a homophobic asshole. Here’s where I think it’s gets controversial. I, personally (meaning if you disagree, that’s fine, I totally understand and see your point), don’t think Aaron is homophobic. Here’s why : Almost immediately into meeting Nicky, it’s obvious he’s meant to be the flamboyant gay stereotype. He’s thirsting all over Neil, and making honestly inappropriate comments to and about Neil. Every time he does, Aaron has something to say like, “can you not be so disgusting”. In my mind, that’s a pretty valid thing to say, and not homophobic. Nicky is not only making Neil uncomfortable, but literally everyone else as well. Nicky is Aaron’s cousin, so I’m sure he feels a little more comfortable calling him out on his bullshit than if it was someone else. I think he would be disgusted by this display no matter what. The way I understand Aaron is that he keeps his romantic life on the down low. Not just from his teammates and family, but from everyone. He just doesn’t strike me as the one comfortable with excessive PDA. Secondly, the one I see brought up the most, and one I think is a little misunderstood, is the scene in the Kings Men (again, trying to be as vague as possible, but it may get a little spoilery) where Aaron confronts Neil. I want to say that I totally and completely understand why people don’t like this scene, and don’t like Aaron because of this scene. The reason why I think it’s misunderstood, is because it’s a very, very emotionally charged conversation. Aaron says some harsh things to Neil that are intended to be homophobic and hurtful, but I think Aaron did that on purpose to get a rise out of Neil, and figure out his true intentions were with Andrew. Aaron and Andrews relationship is so fragile as is, and then Neil is thrown into the mix messing it up more. So, Aaron rightfully doesn’t trust him. Aaron wants to protect Andrew from Neil, because in Aaron’s head, Neil is all kinds of danger. Another reason I think this, is because of Aaron’s up bringing. He didn’t have the best role models, and wasn’t taught to appropriately convey his feelings without saying hurtful things. I think this scene gets used against Aaron the most, because he says these harsh things, but the why he he said it is lost. Again, it was a super emotional conversation for him, and when tempers flair, things get said that might not be the most appropriate. That doesn’t just go for Aaron, but for literally everyone. I know I have said some hurtful things when upset, but that doesn’t make me a terrible, horrible person. I was just upset, and said whatever I could that would get a rise out of the person. And I really think that’s the case here. Another thing I’ve sort of notice about how the fandom perceives Aaron, is that he lacks sympathy or isn’t very understanding of Neil’s situation or of Neil and Andrews relationship. Aaron does not like Neil. Like at all. Which is fair. I wouldn’t either if I was in his shoes. Neil drags the entire team through some shit, and Aaron is there for it. He wants the truth of the situation, so they can figure out a solution as a team. When Neil is injured, Aaron flinches and is appalled by them. He might not out right sympathize for Neil, but he is human, and his teammate went through some shit, and he can understand and feel bad for Neil in that way. As for Neil and Andrew, Aaron’s not the biggest fan of. Mostly because he doesn’t trust who Neil is. Neil is a liar and a runaway, who is hard to trust, and is getting with his brother. So of course he’s not the biggest fan of him. Are we always fond of our siblings SOs??? No! I think people focus too much on Neil being a dude vs. Neil being a lying asshole when it comes to Aaron’s dislike for him.

Another thing that bothers me about the general aftg fandom is that they hate Aaron for being a homophobic asshole (for reasons stated above), but can pardon/forget/downsize Andrews actions. First and foremost being him carrying and pulling knives on people. I carry a knife, but I’ve never pulled it on someone, because THATS NOT NORMAL! That’s terrifying, and should not be normalized. Andrew, more than once, has pulled a knife and/or threatened people he is supposed to be close to, including Neil, Nicky, and (the one that bothers me the most) Kevin. He also says some harsh things to people/teammates, and tries to cause harm to others, all under the disguise of protecting his people. (Not to mention his over all relationship with Kevin.) It’s fine that he’s trying to protect his people, but more often than not he takes it too far. I think these thing sort of get excused, because Andrew is already a perceived psycopath, but that’s not a good enough reason as a fandom to be okay with it. This might be controversial to say, but I think in some cases (not all by any means) is the fetishization of mlm relationships in media. All of Andrews (and Neils for that matter) flaws and dangerous actions get over looked for “uwu andrew is only soft for neil and has to protect him!!!” And the actuality of their relationship gets ignored just because they’re male characters kissing. And since Aaron is a straight character who doesn’t trust/like Neil, he’s immediately bad and the enemy. When in all actuality, I don’t think Aaron has a issue with Andrew being gay, his issue is Andrew choosing Neil.

So, in summary, is Aaron an asshole? Yes. Absolutely. BUT so are Andrew, Neil, Nicky, and Kevin. Is it fair Aaron gets more hate than the others? Not in my opinion!

[soupncrackwrs]

Okay so I had an idea for an AFTG fic but again I’m horrible at anything that isn’t hc’s so here we are (feel free to make this into a fic if you want just credit me) *Also all pairing in this are platonic besides andreil and mattdan soo, don’t like get out*

This spawned from that fact that one of my 3 PTP’s (platonic trust pairing) in AFTG is Kev and Neil

This is probably my PTP that has the most popularity in the fandom I’d say (my other 2 are Renee/Andrew/Neil and Neil/Dan which are both *really* hard to find ((at least on ao3)) so that sucks) but you’d be surprised how little it gets like actually focused on

Most times, platonic wise, Neil gets shown bonding with The MonstersTM, Allison, or Matt

wHICH IS FINE IM TOTALLY OKAY W/ THAT

I just happen to enjoy neil/dan, kev/neil,and renee/andrew/neil more

So I wanted a fic that really showcased kev and neils relationship

BUT IM ALSO IN LOVE WITH OUSIDER POV SO THIS HAPPENED

Now onto the actual headcanon

So neil and kevin are like best friends

They've been like that for a while

but they also like fucking despise each other

like they love and care deeply for each other and would probably die for the other if the situation called for it

but will that stop them from almost killing each other 24/7?

HELL NO

so they go to college together

along with all the upperclassmen (so matt+dan+allison+renee+seth) but not the monsters

andrew and neil have been together for a bit

they met around the same time kev and neil did so they've been together for a while (also while we're talking abt relationships, i don't ship renison ((am i the only one who believes that renee is a strong aro gal who don't need no man/lady/person)) but if you wanna make this renison, go ahead)

andrew goes to a different college tho ( for some reason i dunno)

and neil doesn't really like sharing stuff abt his personal life

we all know this

but a lot of the stuff he's done in his life involves andrew

so drew is brought up a fair amount

but when the upperclassmen ask who he is neil kinda just smiles and then moves on so they ask kevin and he's like

oh andrew is like one of my bffls he's a ride or die

(obviously not phrased like that)

and the upperclassmen r like 'ok he can be trusted he's a friend'

(little do they know hehhehhe-)

sO ONE DAY

kev is tryna forget all his issues

so he decides to get hella pissed

wasted like he's never been b4

probably cause thea broke up w/ him last week but we don't talk abt that okay shhhhhhh

so he goes to the next party alli throws and

let's say it together kids

gets wasted like he's never been b4

to the point where the upperclassmen don't really know wht to do with him????

so they call up neil like yo pick up kev he's drunk off his ass like always but we think he's doing it cause he's sad this time'

so neil, being the good and sweet angel (not) that he is

goes to pick up kevin

and like he finds him on a coach almost catatonic just rambling to himself

so neil picks him up and drags him away to his car

and ofc all the upperclassmen r trying to help

so while neil is putting kevin into his car kev randomly just stops talking

(which is weird cause he's kept rambling this entire time)

and he looks neil in the eyes and goes

'i love you neil'

and neil just like takes a second

pAuSeS

because he's not used to people showing him love even tho so many ppl rlly do love him (this boy is2g-)

and then quietly says

'love you too kev'

and finishes buckling him up

all the upperclassmen have been watching this going on the entire time and they read into in the exact wrong way

(they're trying their best, my baby dumbasses, but they're just wrong)

and think this is a romantic love confession between frenimies *instead* of the declaration of mutual respect and affection between 2 bro's that it is

matt is the first one to voice this after kev and neil leave and he is

PUMPED

he is super excited that his bro has found someone to love just like he found dan and is super excited to like talk abt love and go on double dates n stuff

and every one else agrees

which is why they're all super disappointed that by the time a week goes by, nothing has changed between them

so dan matt and allison decide to do something about it (renee+seth ducking out because'it's rude to meddle' and 'why tf would i care abt jostens love bullshit')

they try to set up kevin and neil a bunch of different time s

once with the offer of a study session that they all say they can't make it to, leaving neil and kevin alone

another time with the offer of kevin and neil going to the movies w/ matt and dan

(neil ends up busy w/ a skype date with andrew that he can't pass up cause they're always so busy and he has to see his boyf so kevin just ends up 3rd wheeling matt and dan)

and once with allison straight up just telling neil that he and kevin should get coffee some time

which neil respond to with

'we already get coffee together?'

so dan matt and alli are stumped

they don't know what to do with these 'lovesick' idiots

they're problem gets solved tho don't you worry

so the next weekend, andrew is gonna come over to psu and stay for like a week

neil is oVER THE MOON

HE IS SOO HAPPYYYYY

And kevin is really happy too

so the upperclassmen take this to mean that these boys have finally gotten the hint and asked each other out

so imagine they're suprise when the next time the group goes to get lunch (which they do with each other every wednesday )

a super short blond emo joins them

and no one really acknowledges it?!?!?!?!?!?

until renee is just like 'hello andrew, how are you?' knowing smile on her face

and the upperclassmen are just like 'oh it's the famous andrew, that makes sense' but then they're like 'wait how does renee know andrew?!?!'

they ask and renee is just like 'neil gave me his discord. he thought we'd get along well'

-and then they're just like okayyy renee totally has a crush but well let it slideee

uNTIL

at the end of lunch neil is just like 'oh wait i never properly introduced him-' -cause you're a mess, junkie' -fuck off andrew' then just turns to the upperclassmen and says

'guys this is my boyfriend andrew'

and the foxes just silently freak out

because neil is in love with kevin? it's so clear? why did neil go and get a boyf when he has his love right in front of him??????

so after lunch, matt dan and alli ask to talk to neil privately

(andrew, kev,and renee all talk together while seth like, looks at his phone)

and they're like 'neil why'd you get a boyf??'

and neils like 'wdym?'

and alli says 'why'd you get a boyf if your so obviously in love w/ kevin?!'

and neil just LAUGHS at them

straight up cackles

and then the upperclassmen are like whaaaaattttt????

we saw your declaration of love at the party??

and you're both really close and seem to genuinely like and be interested in each other??

what gives????

and neils like

'me n kev are besties

that was a platonic declaration of love

also

i'm demi and me and drew have been together for like 3 years now'

and the upperclassmen are just like 'ooooooooooooooooohhhhhh sorryyyyyyyyy'

it's the first time alli has ever lost a bet (it was w/ seth abt neils feelings for kevin)

neil tells andrew abt it and the shortie just snorts and is like 'kevin would fuck a racket quicker than he'd fuck you'

neil is like 'i'm basically exy personified tho, soooooo'

drew tells him to shut up

(he does when andrew asks yes or no, just nods his head and smiles)

renee knew all along and is happy for her friends

kevin just wants to play exy he's been deprived the entire post

So yeah that's the entire headcanon. If you want some music to listen to while you write or just in general i recommend "I lost a Friend" by FINNEAS and "Corduroy Dreams" by Rex Orange County. they don't really have anything to do with the story, they're just real good :) Thanks for reading. see y'all later



[allforthecourtt]

rereading aftg with my dumbass opinions pt. 2 (tfc chapters 6-10)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

look guys! its the highly unanticipated continuation of my reread of aftg!

chapter 6 (aka. meet this MESS of a team)

“My mother's family is French." It was a lie that probably had his British mother rolling over in her sandy grave.”

neil really never misses an opportunity to remind readers that he fucking buried his mom on the beach huh?

“A liar who practices occasional honesty. Clever. Keeps people guessing. Very effective. I would know. I do it myself, you see. Come on, then. After you.”

have i mentioned how entertaining high andrew is? because he’s funny as hell

also rereading these are fun because Nora is incredible at foreshadowing just sayin

“Neil automatically reached for his seatbelt, but one of the brothers was sitting on it.”

how neil would be in the back of the cousins’ car if they let him:

“You?" Neil said. "You can't." Andrew's smile curved wider. "Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?" "Your mother's dead. I don't think she cares what you do.”

HO HO HOLY SHIT NEIL

“Starting a fight was too out of character for who he portrayed "Neil” to be, though.”

“Consider this your official invite, you suicidal wretch. I'm bringing you to Columbia with us this Friday.”

awe suicidal wretch... glad they’re starting those pet names early

“I don't drink or dance," Neil said.

andrew: i kno u can

“Kevin doesn't dance anymore”

anymore? ANYMORE??? release the cursed events that led to him not dancing anymore Nora im begging you

“Are you bleeding anywhere?" Matt asked. "Nowhere vital," Neil said.

gskjgnsak god i stan this little asshole so much

“She said it gently, with the hint of a smile on her face, but Neil still felt the rebuke. It was subtler but somehow deadlier”

have i mentioned how gay i am for renee? because im very gay for renee

“Allison looked ready for a photo shoot with perfect platinum curls, spiked heels, and a skintight dress.”

im also gay for allison ngl

“I can move if you want to sit here," Neil said. "No, this is fine." She smiled, but it had a smug edge to it, probably because Seth was glaring at them like he could kill them with willpower alone. ”

lol remember how neil doesn’t think he’s attractive and yet in 0.1 seconds after meeting him allison is like “yes this idiot is hot enough to piss off the other idiot im dating”

“Personal favorite was when someone told the police we were running a meth lab out of the dorm," Dan said sourly. "Police raids are awesome.”

no offence dan but that’s fucking hilarious omg

that’s kind of like the time my residence floor had to get evacuated bc some kids hotboxed their dorm room

god i love uni

“The death threats were creative, though," Nicky said. "Maybe this time they'll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let's vote. I nominate Seth.”

pfffffttttt i love Nicky omg

also hahahahahah foreshadowing!

“It'll be fine," Andrew said. "I promised, didn't I? Don't you believe me?" It took a while, but at last Kevin visibly relaxed. ”

again this is why i thought they were fucking for like the better part of the first two books

“The dead look Kevin turned on Andrew today was the same look Neil saw in his reflection. When Neil stopped acting, when he stopped worrying about who was watching, when he let go of the lies that kept him alive, that was the only expression he could make.”

it’s fine i didnt need a heart anyways

this kid is 18 hes A BABY

the first time i read this i was 18 too and like jfc i was a BABY at 18 and so i neil

“One of us has to make it, Mom." It wasn't going to be Neil. It was obvious he was too stupid to survive without his mother if he let himself get into messes like this. But maybe Kevin could do it.”

sorry let me just wipe my TEARS off my fucking laptop neil honey what the fuck

“He felt distant as he watched them walk in. Maybe he was already dying, his stupid soul fading from his short body in preparation for a brutal end.”

neil we get it you have depression (me too bitch u aint special)

“Fuck running," Seth said.

now that’s a whole ass mood

“he didn't know how Renee could smile so warmly when she was speaking to Andrew.”

haha bitch just wait

“when he slept, he dreamed of his father waiting for him on the Foxhole Court.”

remember how at the end of the series his father is waiting on the court but neil wins??? god we love good storytelling

this is such a fucking wild chapter

could you imagine? coming back from the summer and your first introduction to this amateur from arizona is this neil josten level of sass? because i’d probably kill him

first years are bad enough but first years who dont care about other people’s opinions? the fucking worst

chapter 7 (aka. neil does NOT have a fun night out)

“It seemed Allison and Seth didn't believe in middle ground: either they were slinging vile insults at each other or they were making out in the locker room regardless of whoever might be around.”

that’s just how the straights are

“It reminded Neil a little of Allison and Seth, except without the desperate sexual undertones.”

i’ll just leave this gem of a line here

“His teammates held so little regard for him he didn't even have the dubious honor of being dead last.”

neil shading himself is actually hilarious how relatable

“Neil watched him do it, trying to remember the last time someone gave him a gift and coming up blank. That his first one should be from Andrew was unsettling.”

i actually love the fact that andrew bought him clothes so early on like andrew your gay is showing

“Neil debated how much damage the thick heels of his new boots would do against Andrew's face and liked what his mind came up with.”

i thank god everyday that these books are neil’s pov

“Andrew gave Neil another slow once-over and let go. "We're going.”

^andrew seeing neil w/o contacts (aka. the ‘i can’t think straight’ vine)

“Most of the men wore leather, half the women had corsets, and a good number of both genders were covered in buckles and chains.”

this... is a... gay bar

“Andrew saluted the bouncers on his way by and led the way into the club, bypassing the line entirely.”

i always forget the drinking age in the us is 21 but like this bar really dont care about their liquor license AT ALL lmao

“You think Kevin would risk his future over a night out at the club?" "What future?" Neil asked.”

WOW NEIL WAY TO BE A BITCH

“Neil hadn't seen Aaron get up, but he was waiting behind Neil when Andrew let go. Neil reached for Andrew with lethal intent, but Aaron grabbed the back of his chair and pulled hard enough to topple it over.”

why are the twins literally this gif:

real talk nicky kissing neil like that is horrible and really reflects poorly on nicky as a character

andrew for this entire chapter:

chapter 8 (aka. a hitchhiker’s guide to lying about your identity)

“I don't know how your conversation with Andrew went, but it didn't end well. Rumor has it you paid a busboy a hundred bucks to knock you out. Way to cut our night short.”

this is probably my favourite thing neil does in the entire series ngl

“Wymack grabbed his elbow and hauled him inside. He slowed just long enough to slam the door behind Neil. "Are you stupid or just crazy? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you between here and there? What were you thinking?”

Why does Wymack literally sound like my father?

foxes: daddy?

wymack: DO I LOOK LIKE

follow up:

kevin: daddy?

wymack: uh yeah

“I don't know what the beef is between you two, but it ends here and now.”

Wymack @ neil: tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef that your a vegetarian and your not fucking scared of him

“Then correct me." "Give me a reason." "Besides the obvious?" Andrew said. "If I can't get an answer from you, I'll get it wherever I can.”

andrew:

“I'm—" Neil didn't want to say it, but the word was already there, broken and pathetic between them, "—nothing. I'll always have and be nothing.”

“He wondered for a moment if Andrew could handle the entire truth so calmly, but that was too dangerous and stupid to consider.”

“Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”

this is such a good fucking line like i am shooketh

chapter 9 (aka. neil is, like, really horny for exy)

“Are you stupid?" Seth asked. "Yeah," Neil said.”

what a fuckin MOOD

“Neil had almost forgotten why he liked Exy so much. He did his best at practices but these days he worked mostly to keep his teammates off his back. As Neil surveyed Kevin's damage, he finally felt inspired again. On its heels was a hungry, desperate rush.”

“Seth made as if to throw his beer at Neil. "His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.”

sometimes i really wish seth was actually given a chance to have some character development

“ "Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought." "Maybe I am," Neil said”

another big fucking MOOD

chapter 10 (aka. shocking: university is hard :/ )

“It's fun telling Kevin no," Andrew said with a wicked grin.”

why is andrew like this omg

betsy probably was like just looking for a chill job and was like “oh cool uni students? ill have to deal with like a lot of anxiety, sexual tension, depression and like confusion about the future, not to bad” but NOPE welcome to the fucking MAFIA WARS

“That wasn't so bad, was it? Andrew was convinced it would be a disaster. He put money on you hating Betsy." "Did you bet against him?" "Yes," Renee said. "It was a private bet between the two of us.”

“I hope you didn't lose much," Neil said.”

god why is he such an asshole at every opportunity i love him

“I can take care of myself," Neil said. "Watch me beam with pride.”

wymack is the best father in the world and you cant convince me otherwise

“There was one for every fall team with schedules printed on each. Neil kept the Exy one, tossed the rest into the trash, and buried his magnet deep in his pocket where he didn't have to look at the dates.”

neil “i only care about exy” josten strikes again with his great school spirit

“Palmetto State was facing Edgar Allan on Friday, October 13th”

that’s such a cliche and i love it

“He detoured around students toward one of Palmetto State's three dining halls. Two were for the general student body. The third was for athletes only”

lmao my school literally has one dining hall and it couldnt give less of a fuck what type of student they’re selling food too as long as they’ll pay $15 for chicken fingers

what kind of money does palmetto state fuckin have

like i get us tuition is a lot but jesus so’s mine and my school couldn’t be less fucked

“It was only the first day of school and he already had three assignments: a short paper, a fifty-page chapter to read, and a page of questions about said chapter. Neil debated for a minute as to which one sounded least painful. Five minutes later he was still uninspired, so he put his head down on his desk.”

1. MOOD

2. first years are so cute thinking that’s a lot of assignments i remember in first year being like “i have to read 40 pages thats so unfair :(” and now i’m like “ah sick only 200 pgs of readings this week? im gonna have so much free time!”

upper year history sucks ngl

“I'm fine," Neil said.”

neil knows exactly two (2) words and those are it

“You say that an awful lot," Matt said. "I'm starting to think you don't know what it means.”

overall thoughts:

the plot is pickinnnng upppp

i kind of forget how much world building happens in the first book but like its good

also i love neil literally hating everyone its so funny bc like bby these going to be your best friends just wait

anyways that’s all for now

part 3 will be the rest of tfc and then we’ll move onto trk if you guys still want more of this? let me know

love u all bye