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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 3 years ago

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Okay wait so obviously I know that love is a process, a growth, a journey—

—but having said that, at what point do you think Mulder realized he was in love with Scully, and vice versa?

(heyo I still have your other ask sitting in my inbox whoops I should go answer that-- 💖)

ok so there's that bit in an episode in s6 where Scully talks about the best relationships being rooted in friendship, and how sometimes it's like a switch flicks and suddenly the person who's only ever been a friend is the only person you can see yourself spending your life with (I'm paraphrasing of course) and I think that for MSR that's a little bit true?

there was definitely some young, innocent attraction between them right off the bat i think but that's all it was and it didn't matter that much. for the first couple of seasons they really are basically just platonic besties, and I love that actually. getting to see them grow into this very genuine, innocent friendship is SO SWEET, especially since they're both a little bit of loners, and particularly Mulder doesn't seem to have ever had a real true friend in that way.

I would say that Mulder kinda started being "in love" with Scully sometime around their initial separation/her abduction but he didn't really *realize* that's what it was for a while. I think something started to shift right at the beginning of season 4 — their conversation in "Home," remember, you can sort of see him have this moment of Realization that they could be something more, but the moment passes pretty quickly and doesn't really get revisited. but my take is that like, yes, something did change with that conversation (they were both pretty much openly discussing their future/s and the implications of wanting something more are... definitely there) but it didn't really fully cement itself until... I usually say around Never Again/Memento Mori tbh. like, that's when Mulder really truly fully became conscious that He Is In Love With Scully

like... he's desperate not to lose her and he has to reconsider all those feelings after *ahem* Philadelphia (and the incomplete "this is my life" / "yeah but it's-" exchange, which is... very emotionally loaded tbh) and her diagnosis and everything that happens in Memento Mori — there's a reason for that deleted kiss scene from there, bc they've both kinda realized fully for the first time how much they love each other, and maybe that's not entirely fully formed yet, but it's there. and at the end of the day, after everything that's happened and with everything that's coming, Mulder can't even try to ignore the fact that he's in love with her.

(an aside: you know the song You Are In Love by Taylor Swift? bc it's VERY much an MSR song, especially the line that goes "One night, he wakes/ strange look on his face/ pauses, then says/ 'you're my best friend'/ and you knew what it was/ he is in love". seems slightly relevant to this conversation tbh)

as for Scully, I think it happened a lot more gradually for her; it's harder to pin down. I kinda want to say that she already has feelings for him by Colony/End Game but that doesn't really become... really anything until Pusher, and maybe Wetwired (her greatest fear is him betraying her, the one person she trusts most turning out to have hurt her — she has to face how much he means to her and how much a betrayal like that terrifies her.) she's given her life and her loyalty to him and that's a BIG DEAL for someone with the kind of attachment issues she has.

again I do have to mention that conversation at the beginning of Home, bc that's sorta a big deal. they're literally talking about having a family, practically saying "I'm here if you want me" you know? and not to like... fixate on season 4 or anything lol, but I do think that a lot changed then, just by nature of having to consider her own mortality??

like... i mean, i said it last night for that ask game (which i need to go rb again shsjsj): Small Potatoes has... a lot of issues. it's downright problematic tbh. but it DOES do a lot to show us where Scully is at emotionally/mentally toward her relationship with Mulder — she does want more than what they have!! she can't actually make the move herself bc she won't hurt him that way, but she would have let him kiss her! she is in love and she wants, on some level, to be pursued, you know?

and DEFINITELY by the last batch of episodes in the cancer arc: Elegy/Demons/Gethsemane/the Reduxes, she's FULLY and PAINFULLY aware that she's in love with him, to the point that it's practically destroying her.

it's definitely mutual by Gethsemane/the Reduxes — Scully sheds more tears at the idea of his death (even though she knows it's a ruse) than she does at her own, and I think for a minute Mulder really did look at his gun and go "what if" bc he doesn't want to live without her (esp. after that discussion of how it's his quest that led them to this point). and like, in Redux II Mulder about collapses when he sees her unconscious, and from then on he can't stop touching her, won't stop kissing her face and her hands and every single time I swear Scully has this look in her eyes like she's hoping or begging for him to really kiss her, like on the lips. and I know I've mentioned before when she says he should let her take the fall for killing that guy, and his devastated smile and when he says "you know I can't do that" feels like there's an unspoken "because I love you" attached to it; and when Scully replies "you have to" it sounds like she's silently saying the same, "because I love you".

so yeah, I went off on some rabbit trails there lol but TL;DR: for Mulder he was in love with her by/around the time of her abduction but only consciously realized it after Never Again, for Scully she was in love by Colony/End Game, started slowly becoming aware of it around Wetwired, and fully realized around Memento Mori (but it wasn't totally cemented until Small Potatoes). and for both of them, something did start to change and a vague awareness formed around Home.

#mayhaps this is just my constant cancer arc centric thinking hjsjsjsnnssj #but like if you look at everything after that? they're dancing around the fact that they love each other so much #that's like... lowkey half the point of detour shskshskssj #yeah smth happened around pusher but there are SO many different interpretations here tbh #i go back and forth but this is usually what i tend to come back to???#Lu rambles #asks #txf #mellia i feel like you should have your own tag #the x files #msr #mulder and scully #mulder x scully #fox mulder #dana scully #meta #meta finding tag

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demonmocns-archive · 3 years ago

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thinking about cat hybrid!shoto who’s been with his owner for years now (let’s assume we’re in a universe where hybrids can still be adopted and are cared for in a variety of different ways) and they’ve settled into a comfortable routine except one day shoto’s owner sits him down and asks what he would feel like about getting a friend? not like the hybrids he knows through his owner’s friends or their neighbors, but like another hybrid that his owner adopts to live with them. shoto is initially hesitant but also curious so he agrees and he’s never been more thankful that his normally resistant to change attitude was amenable to this situation bc he’s gotten to meet you, a beautiful bunny hybrid who looks so soft and sweet, but also so nervous. he literally tiptoes around u for the first week bc all of the new experiences and sensory info have u on the verge of tears on the regular and he doesn’t wanna frighten u but eventually the two of u settle into a routine and shoto loves curling up with u for a nap on the couch, with his head laying on ur inner thigh, nose pressed to ur crotch bc he’s a fuckin pervert. he can’t help that he has to hump his pillows every night until he cums at least twice before he can pass out n sleep thru the night without wandering thru the house to watch u as u sleep. ur just so sweet and cute and shoto wants to bite u to see how u would cry out or what kinda sounds or faces u would make when he has three fingers inside of u with his palm grinding against ur clit. he’s patient however and he doesn’t want to scare u off, so he puts aside his desires for the sake of ur friendship and peace in the house. so imagine his surprise when a few weeks after u move in, u start pawing at his bedside in the middle of the night, whining that it hurts and u feel so hot and whoozy but u cant go to bed and you’re so goddamn wet and could he please do something? and who is he to deny u?? safe to say that cute catboy!shoto has his even cuter bunny hybrid flat on her back, head thrown back against the pillows and toes curling at the sheets as he licks you into your third orgasm before your owner ever wakes up to the sounds of your coupling

can't even put into words how this is making me feel rn, anon thank u for leaving this blessing in my inbox <3 there's not a lot for me to add but i wanted to share my thoughts on some things so keep reading if u wanna!!!

cw / dubcon, pervert behavior, panty stealing, hybrids

shouto is so curious when you first arrive home :( you're kept apart for the first week so you can adjust to your new surroundings without an intimidating cat hybrid breathing down your neck. he basically lives outside your bedroom door that week.

when you're away for a check-up, sho sneaks into your room and steals a pair of panties from your laundry pile, finally acquainting himself with your scent.

always snuggling together once you're on friendly terms. shouto will lay between your legs and gently nuzzle your tummy, encouraging you to pet behind his ears and make him purr.

shouto makes himself comfortable on your inner thigh for a nap, but he finds it hard to sleep when that same scent is flooding his senses. he doesn't want to scare you, but surely one whiff won't hurt, right?

shouto experiencing some type of cute aggression towards you... he's just so enamored by your softness, it makes him want to sink his sharp teeth in.

it almost feels like a dream when shouto wakes up in the middle of the night to find you perched on his lap. you've humped every surface in your room and the ache still hasn't subsided – you're begging him to do something, anything. shouto rasps his rough tongue over your pussy until it's tender, coaxing orgasm after orgasm from you until you're sleeping soundly in his bed.

there's just enough time for him to pull the covers over you both and make it look innocent before your owner comes in to see what all the commotion is about.

#summoned #demonmocns catboy shouto #tw hybrids #tw dubcon #this has me yelling i love this so much #long post

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hamonsurveysoverdrive · 4 years ago

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Shiny

What was the last thing you spent under five dollars on? A Monster. How many times have you cried in the past week? Once or twice, not over anything major. When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Uh, does on Animal Crossing count? Because that was today lol Have you ever had feelings for someone your best friend was dating? Nope. Have you ever used your cell phone as a light source in the dark? Yes. Is there anything written on the shirt you’re wearing? Nope. Would you rather spend two days in London or a week in Finland? London. Where were you living in 1997? My hometown. How was your first kiss? It was alright. Do you still talk to the person you shared it with? No. Are you the oldest of your siblings? No. What're your initials? AVW. What does that middle initial stand for? Victoria. When was the last time you kissed someone? Last night. Do you regret it? Absolutely not. How long is it until your next birthday and how old will you be? About 7 months. I'll be 33. What was the last song you heard? Idk. Do you have any tattoos? I have ten. How would you react if you found out you were pregnant right now? I would be VERY unhappy. What's your mother’s maiden name? M. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? One, personally. Are you related to a Johanna? No. Have you ever hugged an Eric? Probably. Have you ever ridden in a car with a Brooke? I don't think so. Have you ever kissed a Jesse? No. Have you ever worked with a Heather? Yes. Have you ever dated a Ryan? No, but I hooked up with one. Which of your friends would be most likely to become a stripper? I'm already friends with strippers and ex-strippers. How long has it been since you showered? Yesterday. Where did you or do you go to high school? In my hometown. What's the nearest red object to you? Part of the hamburger bun package next to me on the table. Do you have a birthmark and if so, where? I don't. Who was the last person to let you down? Myself. When was the last time someone gave you flowers? Valentine's Day. Would you ever consider getting back together with an ex? No thankssss. Do you like it when someone takes you by surprise and kisses you? If it's Justin. Can you name a movie that makes you cry? Green Mile. What's your natural hair color? Brown. Do you sleep naked? Rarely. Is smoking a turn-off when it comes to being interested in someone? Nope. Have you ever dated someone who had kids? Yes, but they were my own kids haha What was the last book you read? I'm reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix to the boys. Have you kissed someone four or more years older than you? Yes. How about younger? Not 4 years younger, but yes, younger. Were your parents married when you were born? Yes, they got married while my mom was pregnant with me. Were you born before 1990? Yes. Is your hair longer than your shoulders? No. Why did you miss the last call you missed? I ignored it. Have you ever been pulled over twice in one day? No. When you need to vent, who do you turn to? Usually Justin. When was the last time you went to the movies with someone? UGH IT'S BEEN SO LOOOOONG. Are you comfortable in your own skin? Sometimes. Have you ever been told you’re a flirt? Yes. Are there any candles in the room with you? No. Does the last person you kissed have tattoos? Yes. Do you live within twenty miles of where you were born? Yes. Is it after five PM? Not quite. Is there someone you always call or text when you’re drunk? I don't drink anymore. Have you ever been engaged? Yes. Has anyone seen you naked in the last week? Yes. Were you dating anyone in October 2008? No. Where was your current profile picture taken? My room. Is your birthday in April? Nope. Are you a Libra? Nope. If you found twenty dollars, what would you spend it on? Cigarettes, probably. What's your favorite holiday? Fourth of July. Do you believe the saying that experience is the best teacher? Sure. When you’re at home with nothing to do, do you typically find yourself walking around or sitting about randomly wearing different clothing throughout the day, or do you usually stick to one outfit? Usually just one outfit unless the weather changes midday, as it wont to do in Texas. When at home with nothing to do, do you wear socks? No. When at home with nothing to do, do you typically spend your time in bed, on the couch in your living room, sitting in the kitchen or at your desk, or do you go between them all or some other variation? Bed, usually. What're things that you commonly do when you’re bored and can’t go out for whatever reason? Play video or phone games, watch Netflix. Do you watch TV when at home with nothing else to do, or do you spend most of your time reading? Both. What do you usually watch? Whatever I'm currently binging or maybe a couple movies. Depends on my mood. Do you wear socks to bed? No. What do you hate or love about jeans and sweatpants? I like how comfy they are, but there's like 8 months of the year I don't get to wear them bc it's hot af. How and in what situations do you usually wear them? Idfk, jesus. What about underwear? What about them?? What type of underwear do you prefer? Boy-cut. Is daytime television really starting to get to you and if so, why or are you addicted to it? No. You’re at home a lot when you’re not at school or working, aren’t you? Not really. What clothing do you sleep in? Usually just a shirt and undies. Is your bed actually a bed? Yes?? Do you prefer other sleeping arrangements rather than the usual bed and if so, why? No. Is your room a mess constantly and if so, why? Yes, because I'm lazy lol Is your new clothing constantly getting ragged and worn-out during short periods of time and you’re not sure why? Nope. How often do you shower? Every day or every other day. Do you wear a lot of make-up, some make-up or no make-up? Some. What’s your favorite make-up? Eyeshadow and mascara. Could you go out in public without make-up? Yes, but I don't too often. Do you do your nails often? No. What color are your fingernails? There's some tiny pieces of chipped charcoal gray polish lol How about your toenails? Charcoal gray, not chipped, bc for some reason it lasts forever on toenails lol Heels or flats? Flats Eyeliner or mascara? Mascara. Lip gloss or lipstick? Lipstick. Eyelash curler or tweezers? Tweezers. Vans or Converse? Converse. Nike or Adidas? Neither. What color are your socks? I'm not wearing any. What color's your bra? I'm not wearing that either. Are you wearing skinny jeans? No, leggings. Do you think you set or follow trends? Follow, I suppose. Have you ever done something just to fit in? When I was younger. Do you go to the mall often? God no. Do you have many friends? Sure. Do you dislike any of your friends? No. What’s your best friend ever's name? Justin, Kelsi, Krystle. Have you ever had a down moment with that person? Yes. What's your most memorable moment with that person? Idk. Who was your most recent missed call from? An unknown one. Who was the last person you called? My mother. What does your fifth message in your inbox say? My texts aren't done like that. Who was it from? -- Are you single or taken? I'm in a relationship. If you're taken, by who? I'm with Justin. What color are your eyes? Dark brown. What’s your favorite color? Grey. What song are you listening to right now? Whatever is on the computer game my youngest is playing. Do you like to dance? Sometimes. Do you like to sing? Yes. Do you believe in love at first sight? No. How about true love? Yes. Do you believe in bros before hoes? Ugh. Are you a whore? Nope. Are most of your friends guys or girls? It's pretty even. What's your favorite candy? Trolli gummy worms, Reese's. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Rocky Road. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? Yes. Have you ever slept on your computer? Probably. What's the longest you’ve used your computer? Idk. What's your favorite smiley? Just the generic ones. Do you edit your profile often? No. Have you ever been in a fist fight? Not really. Do you want to? Nope. Have you ever thought about having sex? I mean, yeah. Have you ever babysat and if so, who? Yeah, lots of kids. Have you ever waited so long for something you wanted to happen so bad? Probably. Have you ever not been yourself to impress someone? In the past, sure. Have you ever done yourself up very pretty with so much make-up and a whole different outfit to make a guy like you? Not to "make" a guy like me, but maybe because I wanted to look pretty for someone. Have you ever betrayed someone? Yes. Water or soda? Water. Coke or Pepsi? Coke. Looking behind you, what’s there? My kids' dresser that I took out of their room five years ago bc they kept jumping off of it, and I just never put it back lol Have you ever been rejected or dumped? Sure. Have you ever thought about what school would be like if someone didn’t go there? No. Do you hate anyone? Nah. What’s your locker number? I don't have a locker. Do you have good hygiene? Yes. Have you ever danced in front of the mirror? Yes. Are you craving something? I'm already snacking on what I was craving, guacamole. If you could have one thing right now, what would it be? That lol Would you rather have ten kids or none? Omg, none lol Is your bed against more than one of your walls? No. What’s on your mind right now? This survey, the episode of Breaking Bad I'm watching, and my snack. Are you there for your friends? Yes. Who was the last person to see you cry? My kids and their dad. What do you do when you get nervous? Fidget. Do you like people in general? No. How old do you think you'll be when you finally have kids? I was 19 with my oldest, 22 with my youngest. Does anyone completely understand you? Sure. Would you be happier if life had a rewind button? No. Do you tell your mom or dad everything? No. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend smokes? It doesn't. Are you going to get hurt anytime soon by someone? I hope not... This time last year, can you remember who you loved? Yes, it's the same person I love now. Do you think more about the past, present or future? Future. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? Not enough at all. Are you easy to get along with? I like to think so. Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with? No, she's my best friend. What was the last drink that you put in your mouth? Water. What size bed do you have? Queen. Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in? Before, so I can adjust the temp before I get in Do you like the rain? I do, unless it's been raining nonstop, like it is now. Do you think someone's thinking about you right now? Meh. Have you ever been hurt by someone you never thought would hurt you? Yes. Your parents are out of town, so would you throw a massive party? I'm 32. Do you regret a past relationship? Nah. Would you rather spend a Friday night at a concert or a crazy party? Concert. Do you tend to fall for the same type of person over and over? No. What're you doing tomorrow? Hopefully sleeping in late, hanging out with Kelsi at some point. Have you ever fallen asleep on someone? Yes. How has the past week been for you? Not bad, actually. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Yes. What were you doing at midnight last night? Hanging out with Justin, watching Hunter x Hunter. What's your current mood? Good, slightly bored. Who was the first person you talked to today? My kiddos. Will this week be a good one? It's almost over, it's been decent. Did anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? Probably. Who were you with last night? Justin. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No. When's the next time you'll kiss someone? Next time I see Justin, which should be Saturday. Who should start the kiss, the girl or the boy? Jesus. Do you have any plans for the weekend? Hanging out with Kelsi tomorrow, hanging out with Needles, Justin, and Carly on Saturday.

#survey #surveys

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jestbee · 4 years ago

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Oh LMAO I thought you meant like turning on itself like turning on hahaha like waking up

Hey, I just wanted to talk to you something that's been sitting on my chest for kind of the whole day. You wrote down a post about wishing the phandom didn't turn on itself in times where there is no other content and I asked you how come, because I completely misread your post as the phandom turning on itself, as in waking up, instead of people being rude to one other. Maybe it's not that deep but I sent you a post clarifying my question, to explain that I misinterpreted what you said and (1) (2) you didn't really respond to it. Either it got lost in your inbox or you didn't feel the need to respond. I hope this doesn't come off as an attack but it feels like you didn't believe my ask when I clarified bc you didn't post it (clarifying for others that the anon that posted "how come" wasn't just some stupid anon who loved people turning on each other for some reason). I'm someone who has always hoped for there to be peace within the phandom and positive communication, and I just hope

(3) hope you and other phandom members know that there are more people in this community that care than hate, and I especially wish for you and other larger accounts to know that given all of the different kinds of anons you get. It's just that most of the haters happen to be on anon because they wouldn't dare reveal their actual accounts with that behavior. Anyways, I don't know what I was trying to get at with this, just sharing with you my honest feelings. You dont have to post if ur not comf (4) don't know if I've forgotten to mention this, but you're one of the blogs I've looked up a lot to for a couple years now, and that's why I felt it so important to share this message with you. Hope your anons and everyone else are treating you well

Hi anon, I’m posting your original message along with the follow-up ones.

I’m going to honest and say that I saw your first message after having already posted about something else and then gotten some other anons about that subject that weren’t very nice. So I chose not to respond. That’s the problem with the anon feature, I think, it that it becomes impossible on the receiving end to know if this is several people sharing the same horrible view over and over, or if it is just one person sending stuff multiple times. Either way, it can feel not so great sometimes. And then also nice people use anon, which doesn’t make any sense to me really because I don’t get why you’d want to hide being nice. Maybe it’s because your main act isn’t your fan one, so you don’t want that username everywhere... but unfortunately, as it ultimately breeds an environment where people can say things without revealing who they are, you kind of end up regarding any anonymous message as having a deeper, underlying bad meaning before you look for the good one, (especially where it's ambiguous) because that is the way most people use the feature of hiding their identity. It would be much easier to assume the good in everyone, if evidence had proven that was usually their intention. Sadly, that is not the case. Not that I am looking for any kind of sympathy for that because the solution is an easy one, turn off anon. I choose not to, but I am also not going to dignify those anons with a response because they don’t get to take up space on my blog with their awful opinions. I am more than happy to have a reasonable discussion with someone on a level playing field, but not when the other party gets the convenience of hiding who they are.

Anyway, I digress.

I apologise for not responding to your message, and I am glad to hear that people also wish we could spend some time in positivity rather than frustration with each other. I think between Tumblr and twitter sometimes it feels like a bit much. Thank you for the nice things you said in your final message. I hope this goes some way to explaining why I didn’t initially respond, but know that I am sorry for that.

#jane answers #discourse #probably #if people wanna filter this kind of thing out #Anonymous

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searchforthescars · 5 years ago

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My Unfilled Fic Requests (+ other explanations)

Hey, y’all.

I was going to film a YouTube video about this (and I will) but figured that it would also be good to throw it up here in text form. This is the quintessential Where Have I Been post since I’ve been letting fic requests and other asks languish in my askbox since, like, December.

Before I get into this, I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone that has interacted with my posts and sent me messages or asks. I’ve only gotten a handful of messages that were anything less than positive and encouraging re: my fic-writing hiatus and prompts/requests. So thank you!!

So where tf have you been, bro?

The short answer: Here, but busy

The long answer: There have been various other things that have sapped my creative energy OR have necessitated so much creative energy that I felt like I needed to direct all my attention at them.

Like what?

In mid-October, I took on a ghostwriting freelance project that was initially going to be short and easy but then, thanks to the client of my client, turned into a difficult pseudo-fiasco. My client was super gracious and apologetic and I didn’t mind at all bc a) that’s how these things go sometimes and b) I can deal with difficult assignments bc Journalist, but that took a lot of my spare time and creative energy.

At the end of October, I finished my novel manuscript and then I started editing it. After completing the aforementioned ghostwriting job shortly before Christmas, I took the holidays off and then buckled down and started revising TCM. My goal was to get it ready to submit to pitch contests in March and, before that, have one of my most trusted friends and champions get her hands and eyes on it.

Editing a novel that you’ve spent 9 years writing is HARD. I literally became that “I didn’t think I’d get this far” meme; I’d never done developmental or line editing on a 50,000-word project before and it took all my blood, guts and tears to get it done to a level at which I was sort of satisfied (ask my mom and sister - they were there lol). I put all my creative thrust behind TCM because I had the end-game deadline of participating in a Twitter pitch competition on March 5, meaning I wanted to have the manuscript to my friend by the beginning of February.

I finished edits to TCM on Feb. 7 but I wanted to sit on it for a couple days just so I could give it one last once-over before yeeting it into my friend’s inbox (also bc I’m a Perfectionist and Anxious). I had, in the meantime, made some new friends and, since one of them was moving away, wanted to hang out and nurture the growing relationships.

The day before Valentine’s Day, in a series of events that could’ve only been orchestrated by God (or whatever higher power you believe in), I learned about and decided to submit to the Author/Mentor Match program, in which authors with a finished manuscript apply for a shot to have a published author work with them on their manuscript, queries and anything else they think it would take to get published.

That was a feat of epic proportions. I sent in my sample, query and synopsis and didn’t expect to get a request for a full manuscript. However, I did within less than 24 hours and then had to manually format a 248-page manuscript to send back. As of now, I’m waiting to hear whether or not I’m accepted, which I could learn any time between tomorrow and March 3rd.

So that’s why you haven’t written any fic?

Pretty much, yeah, that’s one of two reasons. The other reason is that I’ve been feeling uninspired lately, probably due to all my other creative pursuits, especially this novel. You may have seen my post about a Gideon the Ninth AU; I do plan on writing it, but it’s hard when you’re out of creative spoons from marathon-line-editing an entire 71,000 word monster lol

Will you ever answer your fic requests?

Absolutely. Most of them are T100-related which is AWESOME, but I don’t ever want to fill a request without doing it justice. That’s disrespectful to y’all and I’m not gonna do you like that.

You’ve been answering ask memes, though??

Yup. Those take significantly less energy and are a fun little thing to make me smile.

Any more questions? I’m an ask away :) Thank you for reading and hanging in there with me!!!

#shush amanda #FAQ

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resbang-bookclub · 7 years ago

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AMA Transcript: bouquet garni

Next up, @skadventuretime, @guacamoletrash and @jamesfalt (Souly on Discord) stopped by to chat about their Resbang, bouquet garni! Here’s some of what went down:

Q: Madi, how did you come up with everyone's characters, like Harvar being a gaming streamer and Tsu and Liz being farmers etc. etc. because I thought those were all really unique and interesting!

madi: Ahaha let's see, I started planning this back last... May? and talking with the beta crew, as one does. And naturally marsh [ @marshofsleep ] , enabler that she is, just put it out there.

madi: And I was just playing a bunch of overwatch at the time and thought he'd be a good gamer nerd, and also I had decided to make this Extra self-indulgent, so I was like “my city now”. I basically poured all of my friend feels into [Harvar] and Anya in particular. The past couple years have been rougher for me, but I've had some really spectacular friends, and I decided Maka and Soul needed them, too.

Q: The part with the sword and stuff, I just…

madi: OH THAT ahahahaha. Okay yeah that was end of Resbang crunch time and me being extra 'fuck it.'

madi: That was what the team thought about that.

Q: Artist-chans, what programs do you use and how does your arting process go? And how is guac so good at playlisting??

Souly: I use paint tool SAI :0 I might still have some of my progress pics, lemme look.

guac: Lol. I don't think I'm super good at it but I do enjoy music a lot and like to make playlists so maybe that's it!

Souly: Yeah here we go. Mid lining.

I did it a lil differently than I normally do. I normally line everything and then do flats but I was actually super behind bc of life stuff so I just started doing flats per character after their lines were done. This is a sample of what the layers look like:

madi: Man how do u keep track of ur layers? Or is it like, a sixth sense?

Souly: I go off of the little layer previews and hope the layer has what I'm looking for.

madi: LOL that sounds like me.

Souly: I also like... tend to set up layers for characters a specific way so I can normally find those?

guac: BRUH THAT'S SO MANY LAYERS.

Q: Did you have a favorite character to write? 8)

madi: I just love writing Star being balls to the walls ridiculous. The saxophone thing came about because I saw this video and was like oh my god it's Black Star in the flesh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMyqasy2Lco . But I also really liked writing Maka being sort of the one with issues, too.

Q: Which character in your fic did you most identify with? And was it purposeful or accidental?

madi: Iiiiiiii'd have to say I identified with [Maka] the most this fic, for once. Usually it's soul, but I ended up pouring a lot of myself into her, and it was both purposeful and accidental how it all worked out.

Q: I’m surprised, because there were a lot of things I noticed about Soul that I know are you-things!

madi: Yeah!!! I definitely can't help that with him, they both got a lot of me.

Q: I know you said this fic was super personal and self-indulgent so was it generally pretty easy to write because of that, or did you have trouble?

madi: Hmmmm yeah I definitely had some trouble. About 20k in, I sort of lost the emotional thread of it, and whined a lot to Bones [ @adulterclavis ] about what I could do to fix it, and it turned out that I just needed to talk to someone about it to find where I wanted to go again, and then it got easier. I still struggled for sure not having a traditional Big Antagonist plotline thing, it was more personal and then Maka's mom… Bones let me cry in her inbox about writing.

Q: What brought about your characterization of Mama Albarn (who i still hate btw >: ((( )?

madi: You are not the only one...

guac: I'm always ready to fight her.

madi: Okay so, basically Mama Albarn came about just from how I used to (and still sometimes do) talk to myself. It's that internalized idea you always have to be perfect, and if you aren't given everything you've been given and have, then you're weak and a fuckup and how dare you not be the best? DEFINITELY a toxic mindset, and Bad. And this fic was sort of exorcising that, a little. This was an external abusive deal, but you can absolutely develop abusive thought patterns towards yourself, and you can also free yourself from them, like Maka was ultimately able to.

Q: Was there a scene in particular you really enjoyed?

madi: I heckin’ loved the butt lamp scene. It honestly kept me going, knowing I'd be able to write that monstrosity. And also drunk Kid, who marsh aptly named Five Drink Amy. AND THEN GUAC skl;dfkld. So there was this, right, and then guac

madi: Which linked to THIS PIC:

madi: And we all could not stop laughing.

Q: What was the hardest part to write?

madi: I got stuck at the end of chapter 3, and I ultimately added another section on to it to make it work, but I think deciding how I wanted to transition from her debauched night out into a Soul POV chapter given what I wanted each person to sort of be faced with was probably the hardest thing for me. This whole deal was largely driven by me groping in the dark at what felt right.

Q: PS I loved the debauched night out. And Patty's drinks.

madi: I loved patty in this!! Bones wanted to marry her, so I know it Worked Out. She was another fun one to write, as were her drinks ahaha.

Q: What was your favorite thing about this Resbang in particular?

madi: Oh jeez, hm. I think my favorite thing was doing a better job fleshing out the side characters in Harv and Anya and Kid and Star. That was something I regret not doing better in my older work, so I'm happy I got to try my hand at giving people other than Soul/Maka some personality.

guac: They became such a cute little chosen family.

Q: Why a food-themed story specifically? What about that appealed to you? (For everyone!)

madi: (Apeeled).

Souly: I fucking love SoMa. [And] the cooking aspect really drew me in... idk why but I've always had a thing for those kinds of things with anime I'm into?

guac: My current relationship started with them teaching me how to cook real food cause I used to eat like a garbage can, so I was like ‘welp this is gonna be hella cute, count me in.’

madi: Omg, I didn't know that, that's ADORABLE.

guac: Shhhhh. I don't talk about my feelings very much. But yeah. I was like ‘a SoMa AU about my life!!!’

Souly: Honestly yeah same, I feel like I also like... connected with Maka about being poor and just buying shit to eat.

madi: Let's see, I had a prompt sitting in my inbox FOREVER that was like 'I’m obsessed with a food blogger who writes about cheap ways to be gourmet in your 20s and I flirt with them over comments but they never post pictures of their face and ALSO there’s a really cute grocery bagger at the store down the street who teases me and always asks to join me for dinner and I definitely want to say yes AU' that I was initially gonna go with, and originally it was a little closer to this deal. My first blush ideas for this sort of had the drama in not knowing who was whom, and the big reveal being the climax, or something like Maka thinking Soul was taken because she thought he was involved with the comment girl and then that whole drama. But then I thought that that sorta thing had been done before, and I wanted this to be less about the drama of the reveal and more about the process of them growing closer, I guess. And I also looooooove cooking and baking, so that definitely bled through.

Q: I thought it was a neat shake up how you didn’t make the reveal the crux of the whole thing.

madi: Ahahaha yeah, I definitely thought about it, but ultimately wanted this to be less 'gasp, it's YOU!' because the reader knows, and if I wanted to make the reader invested, I'd have to keep them apart and do the kinda drama I wasn't feeling for this fic. The insta bit came about because I spend some time looking at food pics before I go to sleep, and that provided a lot of insp for that section. Half of my degree is in nutrition, so I like to see the recipes people come up with, and also roll my eyes at some of the bougie stuff, because insta is definitely a Platform for that, depending on where you end up haha. Also like, I definitely took some things I've experienced flat out and added them in, like Harv shoving Maka electrolyte packets. Last year when I was deep in the sad pit, my diet was terrible, and I knew it, but I wasn't doing much about it. And then one day I was talking to Bones and my leg muscle kept spasming, and she was like dude when was the last time you've gotten minerals and I was like .....oh. So she sent me a link for those packets to hold me over on days I wasn’t getting them from my diet ahaha. Bones is also where some of Kid came from, and bits of Anya.

Q: Where did you get your recipes? I want a cookbook based on this fic p...please.

modi: Okay okay let me find some of the recipes that inspired things:

https://showmetheyummy.com/crockpot-mexican-chicken-recipe/ https://www.instagram.com/p/BfWNxv9HuHg/?hl=en&taken-by=thefeedfeed.

[Bones] was also the steak recipe insp!

madi: The kitchn, thefeedfeed, showmetheyummy, minimalistbaker were all feeds that I was inspired by, and then I just improv’d from there, because I have cooked all or most of the things I described in there. AND IT'S WHERE MAKA'S CUPCAKE GAZING CAME FROM. LOOK AT THE GLORIOUS MOUNTAIN OF ICING https://www.instagram.com/p/BaRGvjGDBpr/?hl=en&taken-by=thescranline

Q: Did you feel like your writing has changed at all during writing this?

madi: Yeah, for sure! I thought that this year I got better at characterizing people, adding some personality to them that was a little more nuanced than I'd done before. I think I absorbed some of Bones's longer sentence style, which I personally tend to like even though I am still getting a handle on it, and I think I got better at describing things in general. Next step is being better with plot and tightening up the language a little more >:) Most of the changes, I think, were sentence style and how I handled dialogue, which is usually harder for me.

Q: Artists: did you learn any new techniques that you plan to practice or improve on any you've been trying to learn?

Souly: Oh yeah, I learned doing flats as I go with lines actually speeds up the process slightly... I practiced a different lighting technique that I never did end up going with but I kinda figured out what I need to do to make it work. It sadly just didn't work with how I set up this pic.

madi: Oooo nice, linework is Intimidating but you made it look easy.

guac: I am just glad to force myself to make stuff. Glad to be here. Thought my drawing of bodies got better (thanks Black Star).

madi: Y'all don't understand the sound I made when I saw guac drew the apron.

Souly: That Blackstar pic is my fave.

Q: WHAT'S NEXT, everybody? ;D

madi: >;) well, I have a secret project that I thought of last year that I am not yet sure will be a Resbang or a chaptered dealio, so I want to pick at that. Then I have a chaptered Star vs the Forces of Evil fic I need to update, and I owe Pip [ @paperypiper ] like two or three Noragami fluff pieces, and SILLY’S BDAY SMUT. Which will proabbly be like a whole year late but whatever I’m sorry, I will try to make it extra spicy.

Souly: I'm signing up for a few zines! I'm currently waiting for them to open apps but I'm looking at an Enstars zine, FMA tarot project, and some YOI zines. I was also recently in the Soul Eater reversal zine that just closed preorders the other day so I'm waiting to be able to post my piece :0

guac: I'm arting for the BNHA big bang and mostly consumed by school. Who knows what will happen next! There's a little pop punk lyrics + anime project I'm working on so maybe I'll show it to the world someday soon. We will see.

madi: OH YEAH I’m writing for that bang too! AND GUAC GOT ME AS AN ARTIST. It's the ultimate resonance.

#AMA transcripts #rbbc #resbang book club #bouquet garni

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indeedbeagod · 8 years ago

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okay so story idea where Neil ends up being a doctor after having to leave welton and it's not his passion but he likes to help people. when the war breaks out he is sent to Vietnam to help those injured in combat. and who does he end up operating on, after not seeing them for years? Todd was drafted and had been shot and Neil heals him. they're already so close again and and they catch up and they're friends again and when the war ends they finally get back together, just yes!

this has been sitting in my inbox for heaven knows how long and i keep thinking i’ll get around to responding bc i have a Lot to say and then i never do, so finally here we are

-so my first assumption is that this is under the assumption neil does what his dad wants him to do, e.g doesn’t audition for the play, etc -the dead poets then disband after they all graduate and everyone went separate ways- as much as they loved it and keating (who stays at welton because the dead poets never become a big enough deal as to cause a stir) they can’t practically keep it going -neil thinks about the others a lot, especially during college and med school, there’s a good amount of regret he carries for not keeping up like he wanted to-the draft starts right as he’s beginning to actually practice, only a couple years after his residency, and he manages to end up relatively low on the line for being sent out so he doesn’t initially receive a draft notice-the military gets desperate for doctors quickly, though, and he ends up in vietnam within months-he’s never seen more misery- these men are not trained soldiers, they’re normal people, many of them barely old enough to clear the draft age requirement, all of them fighting another country’s war -he cares too much about every soldier that comes through his tent, worries too much, and eventually he just emotionally shuts down in response -he’s outwardly desensitized by the time a man his age walks in with a bullet in his leg, and he doesn’t realize who it is until the other asks “neil?” -he nearly drops what he’s using to stitch up the man’s leg because oh my god, todd’s here, todd’s in this hell fighting and taking bullets and suffering for this cause he shouldn’t have to suffer for -it breaks down every emotional wall neil’s managed to build against the horrors he’s seen because now it’s not just people getting hurt, it’s his person-and todd shouldn’t be his person, not with all the time since they’ve spoken, but he is and it’s like nothing ever changed -neil’s hands are shaking as he finishes up the sutures and his breathing is uneven when he wraps it up in gauze -the war goes on and things get worse, the medical tent line gets longer every day-neil’s overwhelmed trying to keep up with all the work but he makes sure to keep track of todd as much as he can-thankfully todd comes by to check on neil too, and neil counts it as a small miracle every time he sees the other alive and intact -(he’s never had nightmares before but now he has dreams of todd being killed and wakes up in a cold sweat)-(he fears hearing the words “he’s gone” almost as much as he fears having to say the words “I couldn’t save him”)-todd receives his discharge before neil does- doctors are much scarcer than soldiers- but todd stays because neil can’t leave until the next wave of discharges at least-neil spends hours the night before todd was initially supposed to go home trying to convince him not to stay-it doesn’t work, but there are tears and yelling that end in the two clinging to each other and refusing to let go-when neil receives his discharge he nearly cries with relief, not for himself but because it means todd will get out of this hellhole -they decide on the trip back not to leave each other again, and end up in upstate new york once they’re back in the states -both of them can’t deal with urban noise without being reminded of gunfire, so they live in a quiet rural area on a large piece of land -they help each other through the aftermath just like they did the war

#this got SO LONG i am so sorry o man #dead poets society #dps #anderperry #todd anderson #neil perry #puck #innocent sunflower

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leaughrilke · 8 years ago

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what was pregnancy/childbirth/going home for the first time like with finn vs. maia? how about what it was like to take stella home for the first time? how did each kid adjust to their new sibling(s) when maia/stella came home? i'm such a sucker for Brand New Baby headcancons lol

me, rubbing my hands together evilly bc my friend u dont understand, i have been waiting for a sucker just like u bc I AM SUCH A SUCKER FOR BRAND NEW BABY HCS AS WELL, HERE ARE MINE FOR THE SUPERBABIES

so like the pregnancies were highly planned, no surprises or anything and results were waited on with equal excitement bc like???? holy shit theyre doing this???? and HOLY SHIT IT WORKED?????

but like……once the initial excitement died down a little, lena starts to worry a lot?? and i mean this is particular to finn, bc like with maia it was more?? ok i kind of know what im doing, but with finn she had no experience, nothing to go off of. like she can hardly remember her birth mother and lillian was terrible so like….its not as if she has any model for how to be a mother and she’s not sure she’s really thought this through. like she likes kids well enough?? thinks theyre cute and isnt uncomfortable around them, actually is quite good with them and babies love her almost as much as they love kara, but this will be different, this isnt just holding jess’s niece when they’re at the company picnic, this will be a baby that comes home with them, this will be their baby, their kid to screw up and that’s terrifying??? holy shit

meanwhile kara is like?? so excited oh my god. she’s so pumped and so loving and she feels like she’s overwhelmed in the best way, where her heart feels really full and she knows that when the baby gets here it’ll just spill over in the best way and she cant wait for it. and she fusses over lena, moves her schedule around specifically to allow her to drop by l-corp a couple times a day to bring lena lunch or a snack, and she’s like the ultimate partner u know like she keeps the fridge stocked with whatever lena’s craving, always goes to every doctor appointment and childbirth classes, never grumbles when lena wakes her up bc her back is aching or she’s starving all of a sudden or she can’t sleep and the baby is in a weird position. she puts together all the furniture for the nursery, is That expectant parent that spends a lot of time in the baby section of target, brings home probably more clothes than a single baby can wear. she’s so excited??? like……how to explain this hmmm… okay so we know how much kara loves her family, right?? bc she loves them a lot, she rlly does and its not at all that she wishes for biological family or something but theres like a certain…..pull?? i guess?? like this baby is equal parts her and lena, and she has this image in her head, like what if their baby looks like her or more like lena, what if their kid has her mother’s eyes or her father’s strong chin. like? she gets to see krypton live on, is what it boils down to. she gets to see her family and her community and her planet alive and well in the little heartbeat they hear, in the grainy image on the screen at the ultrasound

the pregnancy itself is actually rlly smooth?? and like, when lena’s not terrified, she rlly enjoys it and like knows how lucky she is, like her morning sickness is p tame and only lasts the first couple months. and like?? its not that she dislikes being pregnant or doesnt want the baby, she very much does, she already loves this little thing growing inside her so so much, just on the basis of it being a piece of kara, she’s just worried she’s not good enough, that she wont ever be able to be good enough to be this child’s mother. but she just tries not to think about whats going to happen at the end of this, focuses on the way her heart skips when she feels those first flutters of movement or the way the tension slips out of kara’s shoulders the moment she gets home, the moment she can hear their child’s heartbeat. they were never rlly an out on the town sort of couple, spent most nights tucked up at home, but now even more so bc lena gets tired at like eight at night, so most nights they’re on the couch or lying in bed, kara resting her head on lena’s lil bump, talking to the baby in her mother tongue, telling them all about this great world they’re going to get to see. when lena’s lil bump turns into a big bump, then its usually them cuddled up on the couch with lena leaning back against kara’s chest, head on her shoulder as she dozes and kara’s tracing out the kryptonian alphabet on lena’s belly and its warm and the cats are snoozing nearby and there’s a stack of baby clothes in the laundry basket on the floor and a half assembled rocking chair in the nursery and its just?? good????

overall its rlly good like there’s some bad moments, some breakdowns along the way. like it kind of scares lena a little how much she loves this little thing that?? doesnt?? even??? exist yet???? like she cant hold them, cant see them, but god, she already knows she’d do anything for them. and kara has a few moments where she breaks down as well, where she cant remember a kryptonian word or the details of something she thought she remembered are a little fuzzy and god, what if she cant?? what if she isnt able to pass along her history, her culture? what if she has this opportunity and she fails, again?

and they’re both so soft with each other, kara picks up on lena’s worry and lena picks up on kara’s and they try their best for each other, they do their best to help even when they’re struggling with their own things and lena tries to learn kryptonian and like….listen, she’s not great at it at first (particularly with pregnancy brain making everything a little fuzzy), but her accent isn’t terrible and she learns the basic vocabulary, enough so that she can confidently say she’ll be of some use in teaching their child to speak the language along with english. kara buys all the parenting books lena glances at, sits up at night with her to read them, finds a mothers day card even though it fucking january and tucks it into lena’s bag for her to find and tear up over, talks about how lucky their kiddo is that they’ll have lena as a mom as if its the most natural thing to say

towards the later part of lena’s pregnancy, when they’re getting closer to the due date and lena’s getting uncomfortably pregnant and nothing’s fitting very well, not even the maternity dresses that kara finally convinced her to buy around month seven, kara kind of becomes a worrywart. like she’s been v protective of lena the entire time but now?? anytime lena shifts or sighs or rubs her back, kara’s like WHAT IS IT, IS IT TIME, DO WE NEED TO GO and has like most of their stuff loaded up into the car, ready to go before lena’s has a chance to be like ……kara im ridiculously pregnant, im just uncomfortable, love its fine i promise

that said,, then she’s overdue and even more uncomfortable but the fear has set back in?? and she goes into labor p early in the morning, doesnt say anything abt it bc she doesnt want it to happen, not now, but kara seems to sense it, sticks a lot closer to lena than normal, even for overprotective post-due date. and then lena’s water breaks??? and she’s crying???? and kara’s like holy shit okay but they dont have time to rlly do anything to talk through it, barely have time to get to the hospital before lenas like……in Active Labor, like ready to push active labor and there’s no time to get an epidural, but luckily she doesnt rlly need one?? she’s in pain, but its not as bad as some things she’s endured, but she’s still crying, begging for this baby to stay put, dont move, i’m not ready and kara’s crying bc she’s split between being heartbroken for her wife and being so so excited to her their child

and then finn’s there, crying loud enough to be heard over lena’s sobbing, kara’s assurances and kara looks at him and is so in love??? she’s so in love, he’s so beautiful, she tells lena as much as she gets to cut the cord and some little part of her knits back together when she helps lay finn on lena’s chest, watches as lena’s eyes clear, brows relax, watches as that same love kara feels dawns in lena’s eyes and its so much??? its too much, but its so good????

and everything is still so good for a while!!!!! like the few days in the hospital, they’re just kind of in a blissed out stage where nothing is fazing them like......family comes to visit, theres four emails from snapper sitting in kara’s inbox, clark comes by and is visibly uncomfortable but they literally dont give two shits like look at this thing we made!!!!!!! look at him, he’s beautiful and he’s got all ten fingers and all ten toes and look, he looks bald but he’s just rlly blond!!!!!!! like.........they are just so in love???

but then they go home and its different bc there isnt anyone to help them and for kara its like....idk its sort of like she’s super duper aware of her powers when she’s out in the world, like hyperaware and vigilant, but she’s used to being able to relax a little at home?? and now there’s this tiny fragile nonpowered as far as they know baby that is depending solely on her and lena for everything and suddenly she’s like shit i’m going to hurt him oh my god i Did Not think this through and then she like refuses to hold finn except under very specific conditions like sitting down, pillow in her lap to support him from below and lena’s a bit too wrapped up in finn to rlly like register this fact, a little too tired and sore and in love to do much more than notice her wife’s hesitance

and its not as if kara’s like......//avoiding anything to do with finn. like she’s still v much in love and wants to be around him, she just doesnt trust herself?? so she’ll still get up when finn’s crying at night, sits up with lena when she nurses him, gets lena whatever she needs during the day and overall does her absolute best

lena brings it up to alex finally, one night when she and maggie come over to coo over finn and kara’s run out to pick up dinner. lena and alex have grown a lot closer since lena started hanging out with the superfriends, alex sort of spotting that quiet sadness within a few minutes of having an actual conversation with lena and subconsciously sorting her into the same category of annoying psuedo-sibling that she had winn. and by this point?? alex is basically as much a big sister to lena as she is to kara, defends her as vehemently as she does kara. so lena goes to her with this, asks if kara’s said anything about not feeling comfortable or being afraid and alex is like ?? no, whats going on and then lena tells her everything she’s noticed, tells her the guilt she feels for not knowing how to help but she’s exhausted, like that new parent bone deep exhausted

so alex corners kara just a little, calls her down to the deo for a fake emergency and then locks them into one of the training rooms bc she knows kara, knows she wont admit to anything when lena’s around, knows that she’ll keep trying to uphold this facade that she’s doing okay bc she doesnt want to stress her wife out. and karas been sitting with this feeling for nearly two weeks?? basically since they went home, so there’s not much prodding alex has to do to get it out of her bc she’s exhausted too, is crying within a few minutes of talking tbh

alex hugs her for a long time, until she stops crying eventually and is like?? i dont have easy answers for you and i wish i did, but kara, you’re not going to hurt him and she keeps repeating it, keeps telling kara that she knows her probably better than anyone and she knows that she’s never going to do anything to hurt the people she cares about and kara’s thinking about red k and alex knows it so she just tightens her hold on kara’s shoulders and leans down a little to catch her eye and she’s like kara, this is your son and its like oh. my son. i have a son. and suddenly kara’s crying again but more from good emotion?? like i have a child and i haven’t been holding him 24/7???? I GOTTA GO ALEX

so kara goes home and lena’s just getting up to get finn bc he’s starting to fuss a little and kara just gently pushes her back into bed and goes to get finn, picks him up and feels something settle when he quiets, looks up at her with big blue eyes that aren’t her color, not exactly, is something closer to her mother’s. finn settles against her, one of his little hands sort of grasping at the fabric of her shirt, holding on and kara’s so??? overwhelmed??? and she promises him that she’ll be the best she can be for him, promises that she’ll never let harm come to him, that she’s going to keep him so safe and at some point she switches from english to kryptonian (kryptonese??), starts promising all sorts of things, starts promising that he’ll never be alone, that he’ll never be scared and lost and left on his own in a strange place, that she’ll never send him away, not without lena, not without her

lena hears it over the baby monitor but doesnt say anything when kara comes back into the room, having lulled finn back to sleep with a lullaby her mother used to sing to her. she just pulls kara closer and they doze like that for a while and everything feels calm, settled for once

and then !!!!! they’re just deliriously happy like finn is a rlly easy baby, doesnt fuss a lot, basically sleeps through the night from the beginning and is essentially the Perfect Newborn. like they’re just?? so? ?? happy ????? like lena has what is essentially unlimited maternity leave considering she can conduct a fair amount of work from home and catco gives rlly generous leave for all new parents so kara’s able to stay home for a long time, so they get to just sort of live in this wonderful little bubble for basically the first 4-5 months of his life and even after they sort of start transitioning back to work, its still rlly great??

like they do the mommy and me yoga and switch off weekends, kara takes him to swim lessons, they do walks in the park when it starts getting warmer out and like.......love showing finn off. like he’s adorable and chubby and is rlly calm and smiley and like?? they’re so proud of him, they love him so much oh my god

UNDER THE CUT bc i always keep crying, im such a sucker for new babies

everything is a little harder with maia?? like it takes a little longer for it to work and when it does its immediately a completely different experience. later on theyll think its probably bc maia manifests her powers a lot earlier, so maybe that’s what it was?? like she’s drawing more nutrients and stuff so that’s why lena’s so exhausted through the pregnancy but basically lena’s essentially bedridden for the first four and a half months with maia, either napping or feeling too nauseous to do anything. once she hits five months, things get a little easier?? she’s still v tired a lot, but they think that that might just be bc they’ve got more to juggle, like she’s keeping up with a toddler and l-corp is acquiring a new subsidiary halfway across the world that she’s having to oversee from national city

kara worries abt her a lot in a different way from how she worried during finn’s pregnancy?? like this pregnancy takes a bit more of a physical toll and there’s a few complications, like lena develops gestational hypertension (her blood pressure, while achingly normal usually, stays high from the beginning) and her ankles just fuckn disappear and she just feels Bad through most of the pregnancy even though there isnt that emotional angst like there was with finn. so bc of that, kara sticks p close through the whole pregnancy, is a lot less willing to take assignments that keep her away from home v long, gets v efficient when it comes to supergirl duties

but like?? stress aside, its a rlly cool experience for them bc finn’s around two and understands enough that he points to lena’s belly and says baby, likes to hug and kiss her tummy and its the Cutest thing in the world, like they have so many pics of finn being so sweet and like reading one of his picture books to lena’s belly. and like?? lena gets to enjoys the pregnancy more bc she’s not as scared, not as petrified that she’s going to fuck up somehow, now that she kind of knows what she’s doing, now that she has a shining, grinning little boy that is like proof that she’s sort of good at this motherhood thing

so u know how lena’s blood pressure is high through the whole pregnancy?? well. that’s not a throwaway fact pals. she develops preeclampsia and gets induced nearly three weeks before her due date and like in the lead up to that, it’s rlly chaotic and scary like lena gets a migraine (and she usually gets those?? like that’s not uncommon but she didnt have any during her pregnancy with finn and she hasnt had any leading up to this one with maia) and goes to sleep it off and wakes up short of breath and like?? it just feels wrong, something feels off and calls kara at work and is like something’s not right and kara just flat out panics, drops all her shit and races home and lena’s kind of out of it and its terrifying?? its fucking terrifying and kara’s like fuck this, flies finn to the nearest superfriend for babysitting (it happens to be winn, who startles out of dozing at his computer screen to see little finn danvers grinning from the chair next to him, with a fully packed bag and a note pinned to it telling winn that kara will call soon) and she flies lena to the hospital, giving zero actual fucks about anything other than whether lena and the baby are okay

and it gets kind of crazy after that??? like kara barely has time to call the rest of their family and friends before things are like Moving and, again, there’s not enough time for an epidural but this time lena’s in a lot more pain, like this birth is awful, it rlly is, like lena’s out of it and in way more pain than she was with finn and kara’s scared shitless and their baby comes out quiet?? like no crying, no screaming, just utter silence and lena sort of collapses back on the bed and starts crying and kara’s not even able to get a good look at their kiddo with all the nurses working over em

and then the baby’s like screeching and one of the nurses hands her to kara with a smile and says here’s your little girl, mama and kara’s just like.......entranced and this little baby is so much like finn but so different already and she looks over at lena and beams and lena relaxes immediately, lets out this deep breath and kara’s like we have a daughter, lena and lena sort of sighs happily well let me see her and kara puts maia on lena’s chest, helps lena unbutton the top of her gown and unswaddle maia so she can rest against lena’s skin, feel her heartbeat and they’re so immediately happy??? like all the scary stuff, all the pain is immediately written over with this feeling, with maia’s little hand pressing right over lena’s heart and her eyes locked on kara

and then when things calm down and they’ve had a little time to collect themselves, for lena to get cleaned up a little, finn comes in and is so immediately taken with his little sister, like his eyes get wide and he’s got this small little smile and he’s so gentle without being told, sort of reverently reaches out to hold maia’s tiny little hand in his own and he goes my baby in this soft little voice and he crawls up in kara’s lap and asks if he can hold his baby and kara helps him and lena asks a nurse to grab her phone bc like.......why not get this moment on film. why not capture her family all tucked into one chair like the most adorable nesting dolls

it’s maybe her lock screen for like six months

when they go home, it’s a little bit of an adjustment period?? not in the same way as it was with finn but in that now they’ve got two little kids with wildly different needs, like finn sleeps through the night mostly but has nightmares that he’ll need to be comforted from and maia wakes up a lot but more just?? wants to be near her moms??? like she doesnt cry so much as just stay awake until one of them check her and pull the bassinet closer to their bed

and for lena there’s a bit of worry over having a daughter?? bc its not that its all that much different than having a son rlly, she knows that and she’s the first to advocate raising children the same, but as a daughter of lillian luthor, as a daughter who lost her birth mother when she was young, but not young enough to completely forget her, as a daughter that has never had a solid maternal figure that supported her in her life, lena’s a little terrified of having a daughter?? worried that somehow, someway, she’ll ruin her

but it fades quickly?? like she and kara have always been v attuned to one another but since having finn, it’s just deepened?? so kara catches on quickly, talks to her about it one night when the kiddos are asleep and reminds lena that she’s a good mom, that finn adores her and so does maia already, its obvious

mostly the adjustment is about just juggling the two kiddos, making sure finn doesnt feel left out and they work out a p good system, make sure to include him in basically everything

and finn!!!! loves his baby sister so so much oh my god, he likes to drag his coloring pack into maia’s room when she’s napping. like his moms will go looking for him and he’ll just be curled up in the comfy rocker in maia’s room, quietly coloring and he’ll shush them if he thinks they’re making too much noise and its the cutest thing ever, like he doesnt have the words for it but he just loves maia so much, wants to protect her and make sure she’s happy all the time

so its kind of wildly different with stella, bc like??? they thought they were done having kids?? mostly bc the experience with maia’s birth was so terrifying, like when they finally had a minute to process what all had happened it was like.......shit, lena could have died, maia could have died and it made them p hesitant to try for another kid, like?? they’re happy with two!! and if they decide they want to expand their family, they’re v strongly pro-adoption so that’s probably the route they’ll go and that’s all nice and settled but then, well

kara gets a supergirl call at like six in the morning and she rolls out of bed, handles the issue and is on her way home when she glances down and sees something a lil shady down on the pier. it’s probably eight or nine by now?? the sun’s up, but its winter so its still gray in the city, still feels pre-dawn and kara flies a little closer, sees a man on a pier and hears two heartbeats, his and one that’s weaker, faster, quieter, so she alerts alex and touches down and the man seems almost relieved to see her even as he moves closer to the edge and she tells him to stay, for his baby--because it has to be a baby, kara’s gotten too good at recognizing little heartbeats for it not to be, but the man just smiles sadly, says she’s not like me, i can’t love her right and just as the deo pulls up, the man jumps off into the bay and kara flies after him but he’s just......gone?? just gone. nowhere to be found. his heartbeat is indistinguishable from the roar of the ocean, kara can’t see him anywhere but kara can still hear that smaller one, and she hesitates for a moment before flying back up, touching down by the car and opening the door before the agent nearest her can tell her not to. and theres??? this tiny little baby???? like barely strapped into the carseat, in just a diaper and kara’s like????? immediately protective. like the diaper’s obviously been put on by someone that’s never changed a baby before and she fixes that first, unclips her cape to wrap the baby up second, holds the baby close and turns around with this wide eyed look at alex third and alex’s like......well this is happening huh

and she’s????? so small???? god she’s so small and kara’s heart twists and twists and alex calls out an address to her and it’s not far from the port and kara’s flies low, flies fast but she doesnt even get to the little apartment before she can tell, before she can hear the utter lack of life. she lands just outside, looks up, looks through, sees the body in the bed, not moving not breathing and she looks down at this little baby in her arms, still sleeping and she just?? has a minor blackout tbh (metaphorically ofc) like she’s not sure what her exact thought process was but suddenly she’s at l-corp and the baby is still sleeping and she touches down, opens the balcony door gently and steps in and lena’s looking up, eyebrows raised until she notices the bundle in kara’s arms and like??? she doesnt Know, but she knows whats happening, knows its big and important and so she drops the papers she was working on, pads over and looks up at kara for a breath, then down at the baby and its like oh. shit. this is our baby now, isnt it

and kara starts explaining, starts speaking, rambling, falling over her words bc the gravity of what’s happened has just sort of landed?? it’s taken a beat but god she just watched a man kill himself, just watched this child be orphaned and its like?? she needs lena to understand. she needs her to know why this is so important, but like?? lena’s already there, same page. she’s looking at this little tiny child and deciding that she’ll probably be able to actually get some use out of maia’s newborn stuff, considering maia outgrew the clothes within a month. like??? she looks nothing like finn or maia did as babies, is so much smaller and has this head full of dark hair, these dark eyes when she blinks them open to look up at lena, at kara, but she fits, you know?? its like kara and lena look at her and just like.....recognize her. like she’s always been meant for them

and then kara’s just.......out of things to say, like she’s said everything she can and she’s just sort of looking down at the baby and so is lena and then lena’s asking can i hold ....her? and kara’s nodding, her, she confirms, letting lena slip the baby out of her arms and she’s just like lena, she’s and breaks off, throat closing and lena’s just nodding, smiling down at the baby and smoothing down the little cowlick in her hair. i think maia’s old bassinet is still in the basement, she says and that’s that

the kids dont even question it?? like finn was young enough when maia was born that he doesnt even remember her coming home, she’s just sort of always been around as far as he remembers and maia doesnt have any sort of context for it, and rlly it doesnt matter?? like they crowd around lena when kara calls them over and finn promises then and there he’s going to be the best big brother and maia’s just staring all wide eyed at this little baby, decided that she’s going to keep her so safe bc she’s her little sister and the only other big sister she knows very well is aunt alex and aunt alex helps keep mama safe every day so. logic, ya know

there is a bit more jealousy tho?? more from maia than from finn, bc she goes from being the baby to the middle child and like kara and lena are rlly good abt splitting their time equally, but there’s like?? more to do with stella, like they dont know anything rlly abt her background and they dont know why she’s not putting on weight and they dont know whether she’s just colicky or if there’s something they need to be worried about?? and its scarier too bc its all so normal ??? like they did all the tests for finn and maia, knew they had kara’s immune system, knew they didnt have to worry abt shit like whooping cough but like they do have to worry abt that with stella, its sort of like having a first baby all over again?? like there’s a lot of new experiences they’ve never had to think about before so there’s a little bit of jealousy from maia, but literally just a little, just like a couple temper tantrums bc kara says they cant play uno unless maia uses her inside voice, or bc lena can’t come see the picture she drew right that second bc she’s trying to get stella down for a nap

but they handle it rlly well?? like they each take a day with maia and finn, separately so they dont feel like they’re just getting lumped together, go and do whatever they feel like doing and do that ridiculously Good Mom thing where they each explain that, yeah, they’re having to spend a little more time with the new baby but they love them all the same, all equally and that they can pick something to do with their moms each month

that tradition actually sticks around! like each kiddo picks a Thing to do with their moms, like finn favors the aquarium and maia likes to go to movies and stella usually just asks to go out to breakfast at noonans tbh (listen she is.........so much like kara sometimes)

so while finn and maia adjust p well, its not all smooth sailing. like?? finn and maia were such easy babies!! like SUCH easy babies, they rlly lucked the fuck out with them but stella??? oh god stella is such a difficult baby. not like?? not like super-difficult?? but she cries a lot and the only time she rlly calms down is when kara or lena holds her and sometimes it not even full screaming crying, just quiet little whimpering that just like........breaks her moms’ hearts. she also gets sick a lot?? lots of colds and stomach bugs and she doesnt put on a lot of weight for the first several months, like consistently on the low end of healthy. like?? its all new territory for them, bc they never?? rlly?? worried abt finn and maia like this?? they never rlly had to

listen they heave a collective sigh of relief when their doctor tells them that she’s moved into the fortieth percentile for her age range like what???? she’s doing okay???????

anyway. i’m crying

#supergirl #supercorp #kara danvers #lena luthor #superbabies #catch me reblogging these in the morning #i've been working on this for like four days omfg #anonymous #human interaction

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onlyjihoons · 8 years ago

Text

Boyfriend!Renjun

Request: @his-ghoulfriend: can i req a boyfriend renjun pls?? thanks i loved your other versions!

helLo thank you so much for requesting and i’m super sorry this took so so so long as well!?!?!?? i hope this is good and i hope you enjoy it ❤

alright

i got a feeling that renjun w climb up my bias list after this

ok lets start

so how ya’ll met:

renjun was your mom’s friend-friend-friend-friend's son

and during chinese new year he came to visit your house

and wOaH hold on honey

this boy

is super cute

yet gives off a super model like vibe???

and ok you took the initiative to talk to him like

“hi i’m y/n! nice to meet you :)))))))”

and he SMILES with HIS TEETH

so cute

“i’m renjun, nice to meet you, y/n!”

and like

you were like

swallowed by his visuals like HOW cAN SOMEONE BE CUHOT

in case you don’t know what cuhot means,,

it means cute+hot

i invented it

you’re welcome

ok back to the meeting

you and renjun hit on instantly bc

1. you guys were about the same age

2.bc there were zero to no teenagers in your house except you guys

3. you guys had a crush on each other(!!!!)

and ya’ll kept talking and talking for god knows how long

and it was dinner time

so your mom invited his mom to eat huoguo(hotpot)

ngl renjun was super excited bc he LOVES hotpot

you loved it too but there was one drawback:

you don’t take spicy food

bc spicy food triggers the gastric juices in your stomach pretty badly

and every damn time you eat something spicy by accident

your tongue is on fire

FIREEEEEE OH EH OHHH

so yeah:(

when you guys tuck in to the food, renjun notices that you were way quieter than b4

when you were trying to flirt w him cough

and he grew worried so he asked why you aren’t eating much

and you said you couldn’t take spicy food

and his face FELL

and was super sad on your behalf

explaining how much good food you’ve missed

and like he even offered his non-spicy portion of food to you

to ensure that you’re well fed despite the spicy yet appetising food on the table

and your mom saw that and was like

huang renjun is my son-in-law ya’ll *sniffs*

ok and at the end of the meal when they left your mom pulls you aside like

“what do you think about that renjun boy?”

and honestly every time your mom tries to match-make you w other boys theyre gross af

but renjun is an exception so

“uhm he’s pretty nice,why?”

and your mom sHrIeKs

“OMG DAUGHTER LET’S GET YA’LL MARRIED”

i might have went a bit too far there but oh well

so earlier on ya’ll exchange numbers and when you’re about to go to bed renjun texts you

“are you sleeping?”

“i was about to though”

“omg im so sorry go sleep!”

“nah its alright omg”

“did your mom say anything about me when we left?”

and you were like oUH

and panicky

bc renjun could see if you had read his message on kakaotalk

and you kept thinking

“y/n?”

“she said she wanted us to get married”

aND YOUR FINGER SPASMED AND PRESSED SEND

rip

you rn:

“oMG omg OMG NONONONONONONOO”

but that was all in your head and praying renjun won’t judge u

ok irl renjun was bLUSHIING

bc he lowkey or highkey likes you

and his mom complimented how pretty you were

so he’s actually pleasantly surprised

“ahaha oh my your mom has wild aspirations”

and you heave a sigh of relief

“yeah she does”

fastforward 102947383 texts later

you guys are bestest friends

and surprise surprise ya’ll attend the same school as well??

its basically some bombass performing arts school

and you’re a dance major while renjun is a theatre major

idk which major singing was under so i put theatre

and there was one day your school had this project where dance majors and theatre majors would collaborate

like in pairs

you know where this is going right

you and renjun pair up ofc

and since renjun was decently good at dancing

yes this move ya’ll dancing genius im chenle 10/10

ya’ll decided to do a dance x theatre combi

of romeo and juliet

oH ahem

and like at first its all those uhm

therefore arteu romeo thingy

i don’t take literature forgive me

then it changes in to uhm

idk what song is this but something upbeat alrite:

smth like this

yoojung lee is my fave choreographer ok

yo and ya’ll blasted the showcase?!?!?!?!?

everyone was cheering

including teachers

and renjun hugged you(!!!!!)

and everyone went from

YASSSS SLAY

AWH OMG SO CUTE

and like

there were some sm scouting people there

and they saw renjun performing and singing

so they scouted him

and ngl you were so sad renjun was leaving china for his career and stuff

you contemplated wheter to audition for sm or smth

and he’s like

“i will visit you every month if there’s a break!!”

and at this point you were heavily infatuated w renjun

so you took the dive

“renjun”

“hmm?”

“i have been keeping this to myself for so long, and i like you”

renjun just stared at you like the world has fallen

and you panicked

“ah ah its alright uhm its just me, hahah, stupid feelings-”

that’s when renjun dragged you to a quieter area, like the store room of the school’s dance studio

and clumsy y/n lost her balance,,

gif:

and

“in case you didn’t know already, i like you too y/n”

and then

uk what happens

the kiss of fate happens

not going into detail bc its just an innocent kiss ok

that was when ya’ll confessed to each other

renjun at first may come off as dense

but he’s actually super clingy and cute

but not too clingy most of the time

most of the time

you’re studying in korea

while renjun focuses on practicing and his korean

ok can we just talk about his korean?!!? its so good and its almost on par w the korean members like it seemed like he has lived in korea for his whole life ok i shall stop

and you attend SOPA but its all good bc you are fluent in English too so language isn’t that much of a problem in school

but outside it’s a challenge cause not everyone speaks english or chinese

so you had to turn to the person closest to you

renjun

he would patiently explain to you what the sentences/phrases mean

and also encourage you when you make mistakes

and you improved your korean yay

and ya’ll go out on dates

i can prolly imagine those

ulzzang couple-ish vibe coming out

like renjun will sneak taeyong’s polariod camera in your bag

so ya’ll can take pictures of each other!!

bc like the memories are somewhat physical you know

like the actual picture

and when ya’ll go on dates renjun has a mask on

and you have a mask on too so he won’t feel lonely

but the challenge is

if he wants to kiss you its virtually impossible

bc you have masks on

and he can’t let dispatch catch ya’ll

so one day ya’ll were at hangang park eating ramyeon

and you took of your mask

then renjun took off his as well

and when you ewre about to tuck in he kissed you

and you were shookt bc he wasnt the type to show affection so openly

“what are you doing?!?!?!?!”

“i’ve been wanting to do that for so long, baobei”

i m w e a k

renjun doesn’t attend school in korea unfortunately(as far as i know)

but that doesn’t stop him from waiting outside school for you

ngl when he sees mark or jeno or jaemin or donghyuck

he gotta dashi run run run

bc they would suspect him

unless they arranged for an outing or smth after school

anyhow on one day they weren’t needed in school

but renjun said he had to go out to run some errands

but like mark left his textbook in school so he had to take it back for revision

so he was on his way to school like normal

and he sees renjun?!?

so he kind snoops at what renjun was doing

finds out that renjun is waiting outside SOPA

and agent mark 0208 whips out his phone, preparing to expose renjun when he goes back

but when he was about to press the capture button he sees you running towards renjun

and ya’ll:

renjun was like

“baobeiiiiiiiiii i missed you so much i can’t omg”

and you’re like

“huang renjun,, pls,, let,, go,, we’re,, in,, public,,,,”

agent mark 0208 was shookt

shookt

he clears his throat uncomfortably, making ya’ll push each other away

a little too forcefully

“renjun? you’re running an errand at my school?”

“no hyung, i just came to see my cousin.”

lies, renjun, lies

“oh really? i don’t know how close ya’ll are to call her baobei, and as far as i know, baobei means babe in chinese,, right??!?!1!11!!!”

oUh

silence

in the end mark just sighs and said

“just don’t get caught, okay?”

he just smiles and walk away, probably shipping ya’ll so hard

“who’s that?”

“its mark hyung, he’s the leader of our group.”

“are we gonna get caught?”

honestly you were super worried bc it could endanger renjun’s career and sour his ties with the company

and he cups your face like:

“baobei, no matter what happens i will always be with you, and i know i’m being selfish but i love you so much, nothing can break us apart.”

that was enough to assure you for the rest of your life for the rest of the day

thank you for reading omg

i really hope ya’ll enjoy this:-)

sidenote i have 2 drabble requests sitting in my inbox for god knows how long

but after i complete those my inbox will be empty again:(

i apologise if i do your request late as i have homework and it takes time to plan and write out the request

but still

request bc i love writing hehe

ok i love ya’ll good day/night💘

#fluffy writes #renjun #stan renjun #nct dream #nct fluff #nct scenarios

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