#and this coming from a very short person who has to really struggle to clean off the car top

[hazelfoureyes]

for your consideration:

a reader who’s genuinely more powerful than Alastor is. maybe they’re royalty or another overlord or maybe they simply just have a more commanding presence than him, but in any way, he hates it. he goes out of his way to try to one-up them (much like how he did with Lucifer), but the reader never falters, ever-calm and ever-in control. it infuriates Alastor to no end— not only because of the simple fact that he isn’t the strongest person in the room anymore, but also because the reader never treats him like he’s lesser than them. they treat him like an equal, and it makes him even angrier.

when they fuck for the first time, it’s a last-ditch attempt for Alastor to regain control— and it fails, because even though Alastor is on top with his nails digging into the reader’s skin, doing his very best to cause the pain he knows he can cause, the reader still just stares up at him, taking it like they always do. no tears fall from their eyes, no pleads fall from their lips. Alastor is dissatisfied— very much so. so they do it again. and again. and again, until it’s something of a game between them. until one day, the reader’s composure finally shatters.

they’ve had enough of Alastor’s attitude and disrespect, and they tell him as much. they pin him down, snarling about his god complex and his twisted sadism and how long they’ve been waiting to put him in his place. and Alastor finds that no matter how much he struggles, he can’t get that control that had been so rudely snatched from him back. but the thing is— a part of him likes it. really, really likes it— that loss of power that should be his and his alone, being held just out of his petulant reach. it brings him a sick feeling that he’s never felt before and can’t get enough of.

that part grows and grows until he’s the one crying and begging and squirming weakly underneath the reader, both his smile and his mind threatening to break as the reader fucks him relentlessly. no matter how many times either of them cums, the reader doesn’t stop, not until Alastor is screaming his apologies, over and over and over again. he hates it. he loves it.

when it’s all over, and when the reader has settled, Alastor makes them promise that they will never speak of this again. without a hint of smugness, the reader agrees— but maybe the next time Alastor is acting up, the reader will only have to give him a look. and he will know.

I know this wasn’t a prompt necessarily but don’t think you can come into MY HOUSE and lay a feast in front of me and not expect I’d dig in 👏 face 👏 first 👏 so here’s me just kinda riffing off your DELICIOUSLY WRITTEN MESSAGE. NO TIME TO EDIT A CUTE REPLY IMAGE

Wrapped around Your Finger (Ace Alastor bottoms for a GN!Seraphim Reader short smut)

Warnings/Promises: 🗣️ ALASTOR GETS FINGERED, Gender Neutral Reader x Alastor smut, hate fucking, bondage, initial dubcon, Ace Alastor, scratching, kinda degradation kink, Angel Reader, Reader is a good friend, Protect Angel Dust at all costs

minors dni

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ When Lucifer introduced a defected Seraphim to the hotel, Alastor’s smile dropped. You had feet yet to him you seemed to glide through the hotel halls effortlessly. You were impeccably dressed, ever polite, well mannered, clean. It was driving him mad. Yes, Alastor knew the importance of being well groomed. He exalted manners and gentility. He disliked grime and thought a lack of personal hygiene was an actual sin. But the sight of you, every fucking day with that ever present soft smile on your lips? Your gaze, always gentle as you listened to sinners explain their dreams of redemption. Nails on a chalkboard. Every room you were in, all eyes turned to you. It was if the air itself was pulled into your charms.

Every one in the hotel either feared Alastor or, at least, failed to hide their annoyance when He’d sneak up on them or touch them without warning. Of course, not you. Alastor shocked himself with his antics in attempt to make you react to him at all. Charlie would pull him aside weekly, asking what the actual fuck? “Why did you say that? They know they aren’t from here, we all know that, but telling them they are most unnatural creature to ever exist in Hell? And I don’t think it was an accident you knocked their drink over. Al, you are being a bully.” Yes, and he was sorry. Sorry he was so ineffective. Not even a fucking knitted brow so much as flashed at him when he spilled your drink down your chest. You smiled, you had the audacity to smile at him and say, “Whoops. Your monocle isn’t prescription, huh?” He only had one option left to push you beneath him—-rip you to pieces. Any thing to get you to look at him differently than all the other weak souls mulling about in hell.

Alastor had seen you fight, when an overlord came to the hotel to taste seraphim blood, all of the Pride Ring saw your power. Arms out stretched, a glow came from your palms, yellow and bright. With the speed of someone enjoying a breakfast on the patio on a Sunday in hell, you knelt down and pressed your palms into the ground. A flash of light and power rung out from you and blinded everyone watching, but Alastor could see you as he melted into the deepest shadows your light created. White and gold glowing shards erupted from the dirt, fracturing the grounds of the hotel lawn as they formed a jagged but intelligent line straight for the demon. The overlord barely recovered from the blinding effect of your power before a glass-like piece shot from the ground and straight through his chest. It was over in seconds, and you had never dropped your soft grin.

He was prideful, but not stupid. A test, a little experiment first. When you watched sweetly from the sidelines and Charlie directed yet another meaningless activity, Alastor stood opposite you. Your eyes flitted from person to person, your smile small but genuine. Were you glowing? He had had enough. He reached his shadow appendages out and wrapped one around your ankle, as it gripped and prepared to drag you to the floor in what he hoped would be an embarrassing display, nothing happened. As the tentacle touched you, it dissipated. Your light entirely erasing the shadow.

He felt his mind breaking. Every night he paced, feeling your overwhelming presence in the hotel even at such a distance. He decided to try the one thing he’d never tried. Atleast, not since coming to hell. You were always so accommodating, maybe to a fault? He found you in kitchen, alone, making yourself some sickeningly sweet drink. Your body froze when Alastor pressed against you from behind. But, you didn’t make a sound. “Apologies, I don’t think I can suffer any longer.” He ground his hips into your ass, “I never do this, a gentleman through and through. But you see, as a deer demon, sometimes there are periods of—- unbearable discomfort. I can’t focus on redemption like this.”

Alastor was shocked when you swiveled around, eyes closed from your smile, and said, “I came here to help. What can I do?”

He couldn’t understand it. Bent over the counter in the common area, his nails cutting lines down your sides that healed with a frustrating speed, you just sighed into him. Little moans, soft exhales. He slammed your hips against him, the sound ringing through the kitchen. But still, your eyes were closed but not clenched. Your sounds small and even. The only thing keeping him hard was your hand, reached back and digging nails into his thighs. The tiniest hint of your true feelings. He’d bury his mind where your hand tore his skin and find release. Happy to see you at least a little less perfectly assembled after.

Alastor would find you at the most inconvenient times, in the most public settings, and find some excuse to need to fuck you. At one point a sinner even walked in on you two, and to Alastor’s palpable dismay, you apologized to the sinner for blocking the ice machine.

Your resolve finally snapped, however, when Alastor stepped past a line he didn’t know you had. Alastor had you, uncharacteristically, in your bed. He always spoke during sex but now, now it was genuinely grating you. “You’re such a whore, coming to Hell just to eat demon cock. If you drowned in cum you’d probably respawn as an even bigger slut than Angel Dust.” You sat up, one hand on his chest and the other under his armpit, and flipped him onto his back. Alastor’s arm moved to push back, but he found both wrists held down to the bed with a signature glow.

“If you knew Angel half as well as you pretended, you’d know how fucking stupid you sound.” Your hands gathered his cum from earlier that evening, slowly dripping out of you with the sudden change in position. “He’s the whore? Who stalks this hotel, hungry for any ounce of attention? A petulant child willing to embarrass others just so teacher notices them?” Your hand began to pump his cock. Alastor thrashed, he hated people handling his dick, but that was overshadowed by his disgust of having his semen spread over his skin. The sensation made his skin crawl and he would have gone soft but when he met your gaze he only grew harder in your fist. Your eyes were alight, figuratively and literally. The rage on your face made his smile drop entirely. You looked like you hated him. “If he is a whore, then you are Mary Magdalene. I’ll wash your feet for you, sinner.” You used your knees to spread open his untethered legs.

“I know you, Alastor,” the fingers of your other hand slicked through the lathered cum dripping down his ass and began to massage at his hole. “Your greatest sin wasn’t murder. It was pride. Never could let anyone see the famous Radio star with even a hair out of place. You’d drop your morals for even a taste of an improved social image. Even in death, you abuse and hound others who dare to make you feel less than how you demand you look from the outside.” He wanted to say anything, argue, roar, but his jaw was locked in place. Your eyes never left his, and soon his vision was darkening around your luminescent stare. A finger slipped into him, slowly but with resistance.

“Tell me to stop.” Your hand slowed to let his muscles relax around your digit before picking up speed again, curving your palm over his head with every pull upward, “Tell me to stop and I will. I’ll go right back to who I always am, and always will be. I’ll smile at you every morning and move out of your way with a nod in the halls. Say ‘stop’.” Your words were threats, not idle or hollow and it made Alastor’s thighs twitch. Go back? Return to looking at him like you truly wanted the best for him despite how dirty his hands were? Soft eyes threatening to make him melt into a lesser, weaker man?

You were in him to the knuckle, finger prodding and twirling.

His eyes were wide but focused on you. Alastor thought his soul would evaporate, your face a sneer he’d never been so lucky to even imagine before now. He could feel you around him, in him.

A tiny, halted, “S-,” was forced through his teeth.

Stop?

Slower?

He shook his head, eyes fluttering closed.

“God, you’re pathetic. What about a sorry? Can you manage a single apology for your comments tonight? I’ll let you roll me back into the mattress, for a sincere ‘sorry’.” Alastor's knees hitched, his head fell back, and he came over your knuckles with a pained groan. But you didn’t stop. You’d get your reply, eventually.

Alastor gave a threat of his own when you finally got your apology, half screamed through his third orgasm, and let him flee your bed. You nodded and agreed, yes yes, this never happened blah blah yet another example of your enormous pride.

After that night, any time Alastor wanted to yank on Husk’s chains, or double speak someone into a deal, he’d pause and look around. Expecting your two golden lit eyes to be staring, ready to flip him onto his back and drag several more apologies from him.

༻Masterlist༺

[icyg4l]

PAC: Why Did You Reincarnate as a Woman?

For this Pick-A-Pile, I am going to continue with my Women’s History Month series, where I uplift, inspire and/or relate to women on this platform. This reading is a bit of a life path reading and a past life reading but it’s more general. So take whatever resonates and leave what doesn’t. Without further ado, please pick a pile!

Left-to-Right (1-3):

Pile 1: If you chose this pile, this is definitely for my girls who like to move around. I think that you’re someone who was meant to be rich, you definitely have expensive taste. In a past life, I think that you were into the esoteric world and into the arts. You dibbled and dabbled in a little bit of this and that. But I don’t think that you were able to find stability in your past life. But you had a clear vision for yourself. So this time, you’ve reincarnated as a woman to gain financial stability and independence from the debts of your past life. In past lives, you could have been non-committal or always wanting to rush into things. And as a result, you reincarnated without ever having a satisfied spirit. As women, we are expected to be the nurturers and sidekicks to men. But you, Pile One, are definitely the main character. You’re a free spirit and a force to be reckoned with. You follow the beat of your own drum. But remember that the goal is to feel happy with where you already are. Your spirit has a lot of fire but don’t burn it out trying to be everywhere all at once. You were born to be the non-comformist and that’s okay.

Signs: Gemini, Taurus, Leo, Sagittarius.

Cards Used: 7 of Cups, 5 of Wands, Queen of Discs, 9 of Discs, 2 of Discs, Ace of Discs, The High Priestess, The Hierophant, 3 of Swords, The Star, 4 of Discs, The World, 8 of Wands and Justice.

extras: beyhive. saweetie. white nails. green eyes. born with heart issues. short-term career path. life path number five. pirates. bohemian style. theatre kid. paint. big city girl.

Pile Two: If you chose this pile, you’re definitely someone who is described as a pure spirit. What’s funny is I channeled those Snapped interviews of people saying their friend was “the light in a dark room”. You have the tendency to make friends easily. You’re very introverted. That’s how it’s supposed to be. In a past life, you could have suffered from depression; perhaps you were in a mental hospital. You were burdened with a reputation that wasn’t true to your character. You were an outcast. Maybe you could predict death & people despised you for it. I think you felt unloved and misunderstood. This life is supposed to be a clean slate for you, Pile Two. I think that there was a lot of gossip about you. But this time, you carried over the scars from being a target of gossip. Maybe you feel like you don’t really have any friends. Maybe you have a weird relationship with trust & you end up trusting the wrong people/none at all. Maybe you keep people at an arms length but you’re still a friend to all. I think that you reincarnated as a woman to reclaim your power and the right to be here on this Earth. You make the world go round, Pile Two. Don’t forget that. Never feel guilty for having fun.

Cards Used: Justice, The Chariot, Knight of Wands, Page of Cups, 3 of Cups, 3 of Discs, King of Wands, 10 of Wands, Queen of Swords, The Magician, Ace of Swords, 9 of Cups, Ace of Cups (RX), Ten of Swords, The High Priestess, 7 of Cups, Queen of Cups and The World (RX).

Signs: Sagittarius, Scorpio, Aquarius, Libra.

extras: nurse. break my soul. ellie goulding. codependency. microsoft. computer geek. smiley emoji. venusian. dmv. pills. fasting. making friends with outcasts. working with autistic children/elderly people.

Pile Three: If you chose this pile, you’re probably a person who struggles with their faith. This doesn’t come from nowhere & it’s not new to you. It’s in fact true to you. Today, you’re described as someone who is rebellious or maybe even lazy, but somehow you never complain about your circumstances. You’re like Trish De La Rosa. You keep a job! But in a past life, you were like a moody teenager. You never really saw the good in things. You were very negative. You held grudges and shunned people if they pissed you off. You could have been a gang member or you were an advocate for civil rights. Either way, your mindset was very black-and-white, no in between. As a result, I feel like you can struggle with following the rules today. I also feel like you have the tendency to be anti-religion/anti-Christianity, which is the basis as to why you struggle with your faith. Someone could have told you that you had “loose” ways as a child and this lit a fire under your ass. Misogyny in the church, but also in general is a reason why you have this fighter spirit. You have a fighter spirit, Pile Three. You’re here as a woman to take back what’s yours. You’re here to help other women realize their worth, reclaim their sexuality and transmute their pain into something beautiful, Pile Three and you will do it successfully.

Cards Used: Nine of Swords, The Star, The Emperor, Ace of Wands (RX), Ten of Swords (RX), Two of Discs, Eight of Cups, Queen of Cups, The Sun (RX), 4 of Discs, The World, 4 of Cups, Justice (RX), 8 of Swords, The Lovers (RX), The Hierophant, Princess of Swords.

Signs: Scorpio, Aries, Capricorn, Pisces.

extras: detention. good luck charlie. rapper. obsessed with cats. megan thee stallion. enough (2002). independent women. scarlet red. queer rights activist.

[nknoxe-n]

・❥・Heliotrope and Orange Lilies

Synopsis: Having an argument with their s/o, who started it, what do they do to earn forgiveness or need for them to forgive you?

Warnings: [mental health] [slight toxic behaviour] [pre established relationship]

w.c 1k

You started it:

Isagi Yoichi: He is a very dedicated man, green flag all over, but everyone makes mistakes, and Isagi's biggest flaw is that he gets way too distracted by soccer. When a big match is coming up, he will start neglecting his partner more so he can focus on getting better and winning. This will lead you to an argument 9/10, but he's been working on it, but he just can't help but forget about his life when soccer is so important to him. When Isagi knows he's hurt your feelings by becoming distant he tries to make up for it in quality time, you have his full attention all day, all week even. He's taking every second he can to be spending time with you to make it up to you.

Itoshi Rin: He has emotional relapses, ig that's what you'd call it? Sometimes he gets so caught up in his head and way of thinking he'll convince himself that he isn't good enough for you and that you're going to leave him like his brother did so to save himself the hurt he'll distance himself from you, nothing like Isagi does, Rin will actively avoid you, won't text you back or even talk to you for weeks if he can help it. This of course results in an argument, and he will struggle hard to make it up to you, he's still pretty convinced he isn't enough, but he'll try and have a heart-to-heart with you and spend time with you to get your forgiveness.

Kuniami Rensuke: He used to be so loving and kind, he really was the perfect boyfriend but after the Blue Lock program something about him changed, he didn't really seem to care about as much as he used to, he also oddly enough wasn't very keen on receiving affection gestures anymore, physical or verbal. When you tried to ask him about it one time he brushed you off and of course you can't leave things at that so you keep pushing for an answer, and he snaps at you, and you do not let that shit slide, which turns into one of the first arguments you've ever had with him. When realizing he was in the wrong he tries to make it up to you by going out for a very simplistic date, something you two used to always do, and he tries to communicate with you about how he feels, although he's not very good about it, he's trying his best.

Nagi Seishiro: He was lazy, when Reo wasn't around to do it for him, it was like you were his personal maid, he asked you to make food for him, clean his room sometimes and honestly Reo was your god send taking up quite a few of those tasks you had to do without any sort of appreciation. There was a point where you couldn't take it anymore and lashed out at him, you weren't just a friend, or a hired service, you were his partner and deserved to be treating like it. He really, really struggles to make things good between you two, he doesn't understand fully how you feel since he's always felt kind of emotionally distant, but he tries making an effort to do things for himself more often and give a lot more verbal affection, he even tried taking up one of your hobbies but messed up so badly he never told you he even tried.

He started it:

Shidou Ryusei: He is brash, erratic, and he does things on a whim not taking to account for your feelings very often, most things are very 'casual' to him between the two of you. We've all seen he's quick to anger, so in one scenario where he's been trying to drag you along to do god knows what, and you keep being stubborn saying you have plans? He kinda freaks out in an, albeit short, burst of anger, he feels like you don't want to be around him and to earn his forgiveness you MUST take time off of whatever you do to spend a whole day with him. The second scenario is when you try to be intimate, nothing sexual just intimate and romantic, he kind of struggles with the reality he's in a committed relationship and almost feels repulsed, he doesn't understand why but intimacy of any sort makes him pull away slightly and there isn't anything you can do to help but give him time.

Chigiri Hyoma: He gets insecure sometimes, he's usually super confident, and he knows how good he looks, how well he plays, and how good of a boyfriend he is. But there are times when he sees you getting attention from other people, I mean, how couldn't you? You were stunning, drop-dead perfect, but he can't help but feel slightly insecure, that maybe one of these people could preform better than him. Chigiri reacts on impulse and half accuses you of wanting someone else but immediately shuts up, he started the short-lived argument but wants your forgiveness, he feels guilty for being so brash and talks it out with you. He also does an 'at home spa day' to try and cheer you up.

Bachira Meguru: Now Bachira is sometimes a bit much, he's a chatterbox and a constant buzz of excitement, he constantly needs your attention, or he feels like you don't love him, he wants to be clinging to you often as possible. No sane person can really keep up with the level he's on without getting a little worn out or frustrated, so when you start to mellow out and stop matching his enthusiasm he doesn't get mad, but he gets upset. He'll wake you up in the middle of the night, face filled with tears you can't see, but you can hear it in his voice, he'll keep asking if you love him anymore and apologizing for being annoying. Reassure him and explain to him the truth so he doesn't overthink and everything will be okay.

[hwnglx]

oh can you please do a reading on enhypen member's ideal type, if you don't mind? thank you. <3

thought i'd include a short (.. ig?) summary of them as bf's. i recommend listening to each of the songs while reading through every member, i chose ones that i felt would really suit their dynamic with their lovers. (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

enhypen's ideal types based on tarot and astrology, take it with a grain of salt

heeseung virgo venus

physical traits pagofw, char, 3ofw

youthful appearance. energetic and lively aura. athletic build. seems to be very open to all types of looks -> doesn't have a specific type.

personality traits 8ofp, moon, 3ofc, wheel

heeseung likes people who put a lot of effort into their relationships. he's very mature and knowledgable, so he's aware that commitments take a lot of work. he needs someone who shares that mindset with him. the type of person who's willing to reflect on and deeply think about their actions. his virgo venus makes him want to be able to have deep conversations with his partner that just flow. he needs there to be a natural understanding between him and his loved one. he needs someone clean and wise who adapts well to change, but can also have let lose and have fun sometimes. though he definitely wants his partner to have a sense of maturity so they're on the same wavelength, he doesn't like them being stuck up or uptight. he's attracted to people who are sociable and get along with others easily.

“i don't hate the way you keep me up your touch blurred my vision it's your world and i'm just in it”

him as a boyfriend 8ofp, kingofc

+ as i said, not only does he expect his partner to work hard for the connection, he's also more than willing to work on himself, in order to be a trustworthy, kind and respectable boyfriend. his venus in virgo makes him not only very loving and considerate, but also very attentive, observant and detail-oriented. he'll probably surprise you with how well he remembers the small things you told him about yourself. gift you things you talked about wanting very long ago, or take you to places that are uniquely special to you two only, like the place where you first met. a very understanding, devoted and thoughtful boyfriend. his virgo venus also makes him very selfless, so all his focus will be on serving and pleasing you. if you can, you'll chose the menu, you'll chose the date location, you'll chose the movie you two watch. you'll probably have to remind him to think about himself from time to time as well. - although heeseung will be very self-sacrificing, he's very selective over who he dates. virgo is a sign that's all about perfection so he has very high expectations and standards not everybody is able to meet. the 8 of pentacles (card of hard work and effort) coming out contiuously makes sense. also, he'll probably get surprisingly upset if things don't go after plan, like you not giving him the reaction he wanted to see or the date he planned for you two somehow not working out. he probably also will struggle showing his affection in a physical manner and be more reserved. he can easily overthink everything concerning your relationship and be overly cautious, since he wants nothing but perfection for you.

jay taurus venus

physical traits 10ofw, 2ofp, 10ofc, 6ofw

more mature look. balanced and harmonious facial features. very glamorous and attractive beauty. someone who draws everyones gazes in. so pretty that it's almost unrealistic.

personality traits highpr, 7ofw, 4ofp, 8ofp

jay is a serious man. so he needs someone mature and intelligent, who doesn't only take life just as seriously, but also devotes themselves to the relationship just as much as he does. like.. he'll literally give his all to you (heart, soul and money) so he would like that to be reciprocated, at least in an emotional sense. he likes the type of person who has a lot of inner depth to them and carries a sense of mystery with them. someone who is strong, has thick skin and is able to fiercely stand up for what they believe in. he likes people with a hard shell, who aren't very easy to figure out. he'd probably also really be attracted people who aren't afraid to challenge his opinions as well. although that could easily lead to him bickering with them, that's more or less his love language. he wants someone who has their own values and doesn't get swayed easily.

“the flowers still are blooming then leaves will turn again but time will be frozen for us”

him as a boyfriend kingofp, 7ofw

+ because of his taurus venus, he's all about sensual pleasures in relationships. so you definitely will get a lot of expensive presents, flowers, fine wines, dining at elegant restaurants with nice music or sleeping on expensive silk sheets. and he'd probably also take you shopping and carry all your gucci bags for you. his favorite date will definitely be you two only though. he'll also be extremely protective. definitely won't shy away from confronting other people who peaked at you for a little too long lol. very loyal. you will be his top priority. he'll make it his responsibility to not only stay faithful and devoted to you but also take good care of you at all times. god forbid you ever feel sad in his presence. - my god, is this placement stubborn. he'll probably have an hour long discussion with you over the most trivial things just because he wants to hear he's right. he'll also get jealous too easily and be overly possessive. that hour long discussion might come from him accusing you of hanging out too long with your male friend or something. or you not returning his kiss in the presence of others. like, it's just way too easy for him to get mistrustful of you. he'll also overcommit and hold on to you way too tightly. even if the relationship turned toxic, he'll struggle letting go of it. men with their venus in taurus definitely aren't the best placement to break up with.

jake scorpio venus

physical traits 4ofc, 2ofc, wheel

likes people from all over the world. classic type of beauty. gorgeous and dazzling eyes. symetrical features. someone who has many different sides to them -> can go from more casual and laidback styling to elegant and expensive looks.

personality traits pageofc, 2ofsw, tower, 3ofsw+moon&herm

jake really likes his partner to have a dreamy and romantic air to them. the type of person who looks incredibly sweet and innocent on the outside, but can unexpectedly change into a completely different person once he's alone with them. someone who doesn't put all that much of themselves on display for others. he'd want his lover to have darker and more sexy sides to them, that only he is able to see. he really likes the unexpected thrills in relationships, it seems. so he'd like his partner to surprise and shock him. he's also drawn to people who are almost too sensitive. i think he likes the thought of being able to fix and heal someone. since he'd want an emotionally deep connection to the one he loves, he'd want a person who's willing to share their past bad experiences with him and trust him fully.

“as long as you're with me, you'll be just fine nothing's gonna hurt you baby nothing's gonna take you from my side”

him as a boyfriend lovers, 8ofsw, emper

+ when jake loves, he loves intensely. you can definitely expect him to be all in with your relationship. not only is he a very affectionate and sweet boyfriend who's attentive to your needs and will probably surprise you with the cutest gifts, he also has an incredibly attractive and magnetic charm. since he very much knows that, he'll be very seductive and sensual with you. maybe even seduce you at the most random or most unfitting times lol. like.. scorpio venus men are irresistable and they know it. and tbh, really damn amazing at lovemaking. we're talking intimacy. but make no mistake, he can absolutely be a gentleman with great manners when he needs to be. he'll really enjoy taking charge of the relationship and lead you. jake would actually make a great family father, i imagine him really liking that traditional life. - honestly, he can just get too much sometimes. like he'll obsess over you, and some independent people can easily feel uncomfortable with that. he can also get manipulative, he'll play games and use tactics to test you sometimes. like make you jealous on purpose and test your patience, just to get a reaction out of you. he'll enjoy seeing the power he has over you a little too much. while at the same time, he himself will get jealous way too easily. his fear of losing you can make him too possessive.. once you date a venus in scorpio, you basically belong to them. it just ain't for the weak.

sunghoon scorpio venus

physical traits hieroph, aceofp, magic

more humble and traditional beauty. natural features. healthy and luscious hair. someone who isn't over the top with their styling but still has something intriguing to them.

personality traits 7ofsw, 4ofp, tower+3ofp, pageofc

sunghoon seems to really appreciate loyalty in his partners, which makes sense since his venus is also in possessive scorpio. like he actually gives me very possessive vibes. so i think he'd really want his lover to be someone who sticks with him, even during unexpected changes and challenging times. since he himself will devote himself to his relationships completely, he appreciates trustworthy lovers who won't make him question their faithfulness. he also likes it when his partners aren't too open with everyone and keep to themselves more, someone more on the introverted and reserved side. but also gentle and kind, someone who is in tune with their emotions and intuition. he doesn't want people who are superficial and needs a lover who's interested in developing close and deep connections to not only others, but especially to him.

“nervous, trip over my words you're so pretty it hurts baby, i'm yours”

him as a boyfriend strength, knofp, 5ofp&queofc, star, lovers

+ another scorpio venus, another very passionate lover. tbh, i always thought that this guy must have some scorpio placements in him, since there is a certain intense and darker energy to him. so finding out his venus and mars are in scorpio, makes a lot of sense. sunghoon will really want to be a strong and reliable existence for his lover. he'll be a boyfriend who can't stand seeing you suffer and will put his all into taking care of you, especially emotionally. his scorpio venus makes him want to feel like you're all his, so he will make sure you will comfortable and nurtured whenever you're with him. so, that you basically have no other choice than to be in love. like, he can actually get surprisingly affectionate when he's with his loved one. and really make you feel special. he'll love spending time with you alone, so he'll put all his effort into making the time beautiful for you two. - although he'll be very caring when it comes to your emotions, he'll probably prefer keeping his own feelings hidden away. i can really imagine it becoming a problem in the relationship, it'll be too onesided. like, he'll have his entire focus on you but you'll rarely be able to really talk about his inner world in an open manner. he'll also be unexpectedly moody and probably surprise you with how emotionally invested he can actually get once you two fight. he'll be very consumed by your relationship, but at the same time, not like being honest about that and making himself vulnerable.

sunoo gemini venus

physical traits death, queofsw, strength

mysterious and darker aura. looks more detached and cold from the outside. poker face with striking features. strong and intense presence. turns everyone's heads.

personality traits 9ofp, kingofp, 9ofw, fool, judg, magic

sunoo definitely seems to be attracted to mature and independent people. he really likes it when his partner is powerful and confident, the type of person that'll make him gaze in awe at them while explaining the amount of sht they've been through. since he himself is a very sensitive person, he needs someone who's very strong and better at handling difficulties. in a "been there, done that" kinda way. they have their know-how now. someone who can teach him to let go and trust in himself more. a reliable person he can lean on. he likes people who know their path and have a strong purpose in life. his gemini venus also makes him value communication a lot, so he needs someone who clicks with him very well when talking. the type of person he could talk to about everything for hours without it getting boring.

“i'll tell you how i almost died while you're bringing me back to life baby you're my angel, angel baby”

him as a boyfriend 7ofw, temp, 9ofc, 7ofsw, aceofsw

+ not only is sunoo a person with almost scary duality to him anyway, his venus in gemini makes him have the same duality in romance as well. things definitely won't get boring with him as a lover. his love language can be sweet acts of service for you, like making you breakfast (i can just picture sunoo making the cutest little breakfast for his lover so well i'm in tears). but he'll especially enjoy having hour-long deep conversations with you, where you share your hopes and dreams and talk about life. he'll enjoy texting you all the time, probably send you the cutest good night texts and many lovey dovey heart emojis. he'll also be very flirty, adventurous and enjoy many different types of activities with you, just keep him stimulated at all times. - as i said, gemini venus people can be very two-faced. his cancer and aries combination makes him very hot and cold anyway, but his gemini venus can also lead to him suddenly acting differently according to who he's with, which can make him seem dishonest or ingenuine. like, it'll almost be him putting on different masks every time circumstances change. and you'll just be left there wondering where the ever-smiling and giggly sunoo from 2 minutes ago just went? he can also easily lose interest in people. if you aren't interesting enough to him, it won't be hard for him to just look for the next, more fun person. he's also very good at playing the victim. he knows how to use his charm and wit to get what he wants, which can get irritating.

jungwon aries venus

physical traits lovers, 4ofc, devil

extremely alluring and charming aura. looks unapproachable but very attractive. magnetic and deep eyes. darker and long hair. isn't afraid to flaunt their beauty. dresses in a way that shows it off. someone you can't avert your gaze from.

personality traits knofc, pagofsw, herm

jungwon likes his partners to be very confident and self-reliant. his aries venus makes him very energetic and passionate, so he needs someone who won't be imitated by his fiery attitude in love and can keep up with that. still, aries people can have a very childlike charm too, so although he doesn't want them to depend on him, he can't stand them being too stuck up as well. he needs someone who's easygoing and fun-loving. someone who won't be afraid to openly flirt with him and be direct and straightforward. he'll be attracted to people who aren't too shy to actively pursue him and be just as bold as him. aries venus people can at times be confident to a point of delusion. so someone who can boldly challenge that will attract and intrigue him for sure.

“cause every time you strip away my pride humble me down to my knees you're exactly what i need”

him as a boyfriend devrx+magic&knofw, 8ofw

+ don't be fooled by jungwon's sweet and innocent looks, because this boy brings the word passion to a different level when it comes to romance. if he is into you, you will definitely know about it. he's aware of how irresistable he can be, so he absolutely won't shy away from using his charm and making the first move. if he sees you at a party and is intrigued, he'll probably tell you how stunning you look right in your face, no matter the circumstances. aries venus people love the thrill of a chase for sure. he'll be very big on physical affection too, so don't be surprised to have him just pull you into a kiss out of nowhere, or insist on holding your hand all the time. still, he won't be possessive in an extreme manner, so you won't have to worry about him being too clingy. he'll like you to be independent as well and give you your own space to be your own person without depending on him. - aries people are the definition of impatient. you need to keep him stimulated all the time, otherwise it's way too easy for him to get bored in your relationship. it can be hard to keep up with his energy levels and fast-paced attitude for sure. he can easily get frustrated if things in your romance progress too slowly, he'll be all in from the very beginning. his frustration can also be expressed in an overly angry manner, aries people are very short-tempered and prone to sudden bursts of anger. he can almost become scary, so definitely not for someone very soft or weak-hearted. jealousy can also become a thing, if something you did somehow hurt his ego. since aries people can be a little too self-absorbed, he won't like the thought of you liking someone more than him.

since niki is still a minor, i don't think it's right for me to do romantic readings on him. hope you can understand and still enjoyed the read ʚ♡⃛ɞ

[obsolescent]

i was half asleep when i initially wrote this, so i need to edit and rewrite some parts, but i tried to take his behavior and trauma and such into account. also there’s some nsfw in here !! and one last thing : this isn’t finished, so i’ll probably add more to the hcs later :DD

but vkvkv im so excited to discuss this with you!! i love hearing other perspectives, especially since im not as knowledgeable about his time in raccoon city (the game scares me. i’ve got 5 hours in the game and i haven’t even gotten the maiden medallion yet) and i haven’t finished re4 or even started re6. so please don’t hold back and gimme all you got ^^

—

leon wouldn’t want someone in his line of work. it would be a constant reminder of the horrors of his job, and while he would be able to share the burden of fear and pain, ultimately he does show avoidance traits.

i think leon would be a little hesitant if there was an age gap, but if said person was mature enough, was sure about themselves, and was independent he could overlook it.

leon would want someone independent and mature. he’s often away on missions and doesn’t have time to talk or even shoot a text to them, so they would have to be understanding, be able to take care of themselves, and not hold it against him.

leon would want someone kind and nurturing. when he’s away from the horrors of his missions, he dreams of domesticity and a family. he would want s/o to have the desire to have a family of their own, but if they don’t want to or are unable to, then that’s completely fine with him as well.

while he wouldn’t open up about his issues, i think he would want to be doted on and taken care of from time to time. he would want it to be the smaller things like cleaning up after him, writing him notes, holding him when he’s had a hard day, and so on.

leon is a bit of a hypocrite in the sense that he wouldn’t open up about his problems (mostly because they’re classified and he struggles with communicating his emotions) but he would take on all of his s/o pain and do everything he can to find solutions.

leon’s love languages would be gift giving, quality time, and physical touch. he’s a bit awkward with it but it’s endearing and he does try his hardest.

petnames leon would use : baby, sweetheart, darling, sugar, love — sweet names.

in bed, i don’t think he would be able to indulge in most hard kinks. the amount of times leon has been choked by an enemy and has been traumatized by it would prevent him from doing the same to you, but i think at the most he would rest his hand there and gently caress the skin. i think he would prefer sweet, soft sex. he doesn’t mind a fast pace, and would prioritize your pleasure over his own. he’s a giver, but won’t object if you decide to pleasure him of your own accord.

i can see leon having an avoidance or disorganized attachment style. while he is afraid of intimacy, he so desperately wants and needs it.

leon is extremely touch starved. when he’s fully comfortable with his s/o, he would be very touchy in the comfort of his home (or theirs). in public, it would be small things like linking pinkies or holding hands.

Ahhh I loved these!! Thank you for sharing with me, I’ll chat about some of the ones I really like to keep it short :)

(Also perfectly understandable, I’ve had my fiancée play some parts of the game for me due to how damn scary it can get 😭 no pressure to play any of them though, literally take them at your own pace and have fun!!!)

18+ for discussion of sexual activities

Leon would be big on avoiding/hiding his feelings due to the job. He doesn’t want you to ever have to know of the horrors he’s gone through, see what he’s seen, so it would make sense he would try to divert the topic when it comes to speaking about his feelings in regard to work.

He would definitely benefit from someone (like myself ahah) who actually needs their own space away from their partner, someone who needs time alone and I think if he found that type of person, their relationship would work out well!

If I say Leon is actually a hopeless romantic who desires domesticity and wants to have a big, nurturing family, like the one that was sadly taken from him when he was a child? What then?? Also Leon girl dad, though he would be happy with any and all the children he would have!!!

But speaking of that, he wants a big family. I honestly think it would be a criteria for his future partner, something that he denied himself for so long that now, he isn’t going to shy away from what he wants any longer.

Since he’s a hopeless romantic he would love to be doted on and would love to dote on someone else, he would take the time to sit down and listen to all that you have to say and try anything to help you with any problems you may have! Him sitting there with you with a hand covering yours and rubbing your thumb while the other props his head up on the couch and he’s just staring adoringly at you while you chat away 😫

Acts of service was what I pegged Leon’s love language to be, but yeah also physical touch. He’s probably touched-starved after all these years alone, the poor thing :( but yes he’s pretty awkward, but he doesn’t let that stop him from showing you affection and love!!

Yes those pet names are very cute, but I think his favorite would be ones he had given you over the years, ones that started from a joke between to two of you or one from a sentimental moment the two of you shared ♡ (Ex. I was thinking of a scenario of a time you were watching the stars and you were gushing about them and he was being cheesy and called you his star but that’s what he started calling you after that moment 😭)

I feel the same way that he would not be aggressive or use weapon play when it comes to sex. He’s been in too many situations that would just bring back traumatic memories if he were to try anything like that in the bedroom. He’s very gentle and loving, also definitely a giver, going at the pace you like and making sure you’re satisfied before himself. He loves to receive as well, but not before you’ve had yours. (My headcanon that getting you off gets him off 🫠😵‍💫)

He would have conflicting feelings, but knows he wants the intimacy and all that comes with it. While trying to stay with his newfound principles of no longer denying himself after years of doing so he will (try to) be fearless and open up to love and all that it offers ♡

(I did not keep this short, I’m sorry LMFAO)

[elenauaurs]

TWISTED WONDERLAND OC

Name: Amin Adel Al-Farooq

Grade/Class: Freshmen/Class B (No. 11)

Birthday: October 24rd

Age: 16

Height: 165 cm

Dominant hand: Right

Homeland: Scalding Sands

Club: Magic Shift/Spell Drive

Best Subject: Astrology

Hobbies: Taking care of virtual pets

Pet Peeves: Invasion of personal/Having to repeat himself

Favorite food: Kibbeh

Least favorite food: Crustaceans

Likes: Cats, Stars, Good people

Dislike: Delinquents, ghosts, teasing

Talent: Combat

. . .

Amin is a student from Scarabia who is always accompanying Kalim and Jamil. His distant attitude makes him strange in the eyes of many.

The mysterious and distant boy actually hides a secret: He she's a woman and Amin isn't even her real name. (She isn't trans. In the universe of my ocs NRC remains a school just for boys, but the reason for adopting a male identity comes from her backstory)

Amin is a person who always has a closed or tired face. Most of the time, Amin is stuck in his thoughts instead of interacting with others.

When Amin tries to start a conversation with someone he doesn't know, 99% of the time the conversation can turn into something really awkward or quite edgy(depends on the mood lol)

Although he isn't very good at talking and is a little shy/embarrassed, Amin is not afraid to show his thoughts and fight for them. This attitude of his makes him get into several fights, which has earned him a reputation as a troublemaker.

Despite acting this way and having a short temper, Amin hates delinquents who break the rules. Whenever he can, Amin punishes anyone he considers a deliquent to 'save' them

With people close to him, Amin reveals himself to be a courageous, agitated, stubborn, playful, teasing and loyal person. But of course, that's not how he feels at all.

In fact, Amin is a pessimist and a person who has struggled with grief for a long time. He sees himself as an impostor who doesn't deserve happiness and has no reason to live other than to continue someone else's legacy. Amin constantly blames himself for the past and has a huge inferiority complex, but he refuses to demonstrate his weakness and the truth to others.

FACTS

Amin is twisted from the guards from Aladdin

He has incredible swordsmanship

Despite his small appearance, Amin is strong and agile

He knows parkour

Amin has combat magic that is far advanced compared to other freshmen, however his general magic (like levitating things, cleaning magic, coloring magic, etc.) IS REALLY BAD

By having such poor magic and almost failing many classes, Amin makes up for his lack of skill in written or physical activities (or combat)

Amin is banned from Mostro lounge

The headband he wears is a gift from Kalim

APPEARANCE

Amin has short, dark hair with bangs. His skin is dark and his eyes are dark brown

He always wears clothes much larger than his size and always wears a headband

Most of the time, he wears bandages around his hands that go up to his elbow.

. . .

Note: Since Aladdin is a racist film, I tried to do some research to avoid something that would be hurtful to people from the Middle East. If you know the Middle East well and noticed that there is something wrong with this post, please let me know and I will review it immediately, thank you!

Tag: @cyanide-latte @theleechyskrunkly @thehollowwriter @distant-velleity @tixdixl @rainesol @oya-oya-okay @boopshoops @br3adtoasty

[loving-and-dreaming]

4 times remus calmed you down and 1 time you calmed him down

Remus lupin x reader

You’re a hothead, Remus is your calming boyfriend. Take a look at four times he calms you down and the one time you had to calm him down.  

Word Count: 6.6k

Being a part of the marauders you would have thought Remus was as crazy as them. However you would be very wrong. He is the calming force within their group. He is the reason they do not get in trouble, great at sweet talking whoever he needs to whether it be the person they pranked, or Professor Mcgonagall to not suspend them. Whatever it is about him he is just great at claming hotheads down. SO it surprised no one when he himself found a girlfriend who fits right in with his group of hothead friends.

The first time

Maddie comes bursting into y’alls room with tears in her eyes. She trips over her shoes and falls on the floor. The floor is not super messy, but it was the weekend and you were relaxing while she was at a party held by some random Gryffindor. So cleaning was not today's priority, that will be tomorrow's problem. Maddie is sitting on the floor, her back against her bed, knees pulled up to her chest just crying. You get down from your bed and join her on the floor, sitting criss-crossed in front of her. Opening your arms, in case she wanted a hug or space. Clearly she wanted a hug, because as soon as your arms opened up she threw herself at you. She just sat there in your arms crying it could have been minutes or hours, but it didn't matter she needed you. Eventually when she could not cry anymore you attempted to wade through and figure out what had happened.

“What happened? I thought you were going to the party. Did something happen at the party? Do I need to get a professor? What about going to the infirmary?” rattling off the questions, you can't help it. When your best friend comes home from a party crying your mind has jumped to the worst possible case.

“I just thought maybe it was going somewhere. We talked all night, the entire party! He got me drinks, he asked me questions, we even made out, y/n!” Maddie starts to tear up again, but you grab her face and stop her.

“No. Absolutely not. Whoever it is, he is not worth your tears. I am so sorry that it happened, do you think he led you on? Or do you think you might have read too much into it? Either answer is okay, I’m just curious.”

“I am not sure, maybe I read too much into it? But still I also felt really led on. Because that's not where it ends. I went to the bathroom, and when I came back-”

“No. Nope. Please tell me this is not going where I think it is going…” She needs you to be calm and kind, but damn is it a struggle to not let your anger get the best of you.

“Yes! Sirius was not only with another girl, but making out with her. So I left… I came straight here. I didn't mean to interrupt your time alone, I just needed to get out of there.”

“Sirius? You mean Sirius Black? Maddie. You know better. YOu know his reputation. Honey. I love you, and it is no excuse for him being a dick and only thinking with his little head. I am so sorry. What do you need from me? I can get you some chocolate and we can listen to some muggle heartbreak songs and cry our eyes out? Or do we need to go find another hot guy to make out with? Or my personal favorite one, go give him a piece of our minds?”

“No. none of those please. I think I just want to sleep it off. I know it was blown out of proportion, the drinks absolutely did not help. Thank you y/n, I love you and I really needed this talk. Just talking it out really helped. But I think between this and the alcohol I'm ready for bed.” Maddie gets up and makes her way to the bathroom, you can faintly hear her starting her nightly routine.  

“Hey Mads! I am going to go for a short walk! I'll be back soon. I might sneak into the kitchen to get us some chocolate cake from dinner!” There is a mumbled response, but you put your shoes on and walk out anyway. Closing the door softly, you make your way to Gryffindor common room. The way you are walking, it is clear there is a purpose and to not mess with you. While in Maddies presence you were calm and cool and collected, now you are a girl on a mission. When walking through the halls you hardly notice the other people scurrying to get back to their rooms without getting caught out past curfew, or the pictures hanging on the wall looking at you like you are crazy. Now you are not a violent person by nature, you talk a big game about beating people, but really the only people you hit or slap are your friends(in joking manners). But you are fuming and have no idea what will happen to the infamous Sirius Black.

Arriving at the Gryffindor common room, you find the door propped open. Not being well known had its perks, you were able to slip in the chaos without being noticed. It looked to be in the middle of the party so you grabbed a drink and looked like you fit right in. Really your purpose for being there was completely different than everyone else. Slowly making your way around the party you spot James. One thing to know about the marauders, is if you see one, the others are not far behind. That proves to be true, when you look around and spot Sirius in a conversation with Peter. Just seeing his face makes your blood boil again, so you make your way over. You stop in front of them and before anyone can ask what is going on you throw your drink in Sirius’ face. Everyone around is too shocked to even react, it is not till you throw the crumbled up cup at his head that he shakes his head. “What the fuck was that for? Who even are you?” he's yelling at you, by now most of the party has looked to see what is going on.

“I really don't care for you to know who I am! However when you piss off the wrong girl and can't keep your tiny dick in your pants this is what happens.” You are getting closer and closer to him, but he is as much of a hothead as you are so he is not going to back down. The problem is neither are you. “I don't know who taught you to think with your tiny, and I mean tiny, head rather than the one we all use. But clearly something is wrong with you. Maybe it is all the STDs you probably have-”

A calming voice stops you in the middle of you berating Sirius, “Whoa love, how about we calm down some and talk about it.” He slowly puts his hands on your shoulders and when he sees you are not going to respond to his touch with violence, he grabs your chin gently and moves your head so you are looking at him and not at Sirius.

“Moony seriously, do not waste your time on this bitch-”

“Can it Sirius, clearly something happened,”

He moves back to looking at you, you might be pissed but you are not blind, this man is beautiful. He reminds you of a dream the way he was able to calm you down. Once he sees that your breathing is not as labored as it was he cups your cheeks with both of his hands, “good job on calming down. Would you like to tell me what happened from the start?” You go to move your head to glare at Sirius again, but his hands keep you in place, “No darling, don't look at that fool, look at me. Tell me what happened.” in the middle of your explanation you somehow ended up in a room with just this random stranger. You later learn his name to be Remus and that he is friends with Sirius, but is nothing like him. Something about his eyes and the feeling of his hands on your face is what was able to reel you back in from being so angry.  

The second time

Being embarrassed like that did not sit well with Sirius. So he and James do what they do best. Plan to prank someone and embarrass you just as bad and you embarrassed him. It was simple really. You were to come out of (your common room) and there was a bucket of tar and another bucket of feathers waiting to cover you from head to toe. What Sirius and James didn’t expect was Remus to come and find them.

Remus walks up behind them and starts to question what they are doing “What are y’all doing in front of (your common room) door? Don’t tell me this is another prank. I told y’all you cannot plan those without me. The last time you two did you got a month of detention!”

Without taking his eyes off the buckets that were only being held up by the magic in their wands he responds, “you remember that random girl who threw the drink in my face? The one you stopped from slapping me. Yeah we found out she is in (your house) so we are going to embarrass her like she embarrassed me.”

“Sirius, no.” At this Sirius gives him a look, but still his focus is on the buckets. “She was just looking out for her friend. James does the same for you, heck I do the same for you. This is too far and not okay.” At this Sirius and James both turn around and start to say something until they hear a shriek. It turns out when they turned around to talk, they put their wands down. When the wands go down so do the buckets. Remus has a horrified look on his face, which makes Sirius and James smirk and turn around. However, what they see is not what they were expecting. It is a little boy, a first or second year crying. They do have the decency to look and feel bad, they start to walk up but then they see something that scares even them and freezes them in their spot. It was not a professor, no it was you.

You rushed out when you heard all the commotion. Looking up to find out what happened and who did it. What you see makes your blood boil again. They see you whisper something to the little boy, and then see you stomp your way over. Turning to leave, they are blocked by Remus, “absolutely not. You dug your grave, now lay in it. You need to help that little boy get cleaned up.”

“You have got to be kidding me. Do you get off on pranking and making little kids cry? What is wrong with you two?” You look at Remus and can just tell by the look of disappointment and sympathy he had nothing to do with this prank(which makes sense because when he is involved the pranks are perfect and no one ever gets caught). You grab both Sirius and James by their ears and pull them over to the young boy. Maddie is attempting to calm him down but he is still incredibly upset and covered in tar and feathers. “You apologize now. And then we will go to my bathroom and help him get cleaned up!”

Sirius and James do apologize, and are incredibly sorry. They didn’t mean for it to go this far. It was just meant to be payback on you. But it is clear they are now so high on your shit list it’s not even funny. Maddie brings the boy to y’all’s bathroom while you drag both boys by their ears to follow. Remus is silently following behind. He knows he should interfere, but they kind of deserve what is happening. Once in the bathroom those two are helping the boy get cleaned up, but you? Oh you are fuming and pissed. And what do you do when you are this pissed? You can’t sit still. So you are pacing and lecturing them. “Who in their right mind pranks little kids. Granted I think you pranking anyone is stupid. But our first years? Seriously! We are supposed to protect them. And this is how you treat them. What is wrong with you? You two are deranged. Absolutely mad. -“

James rolls his eyes and whispers under his breath “Oh my gosh you sound like my mom.”

“I’m going to choose to ignore that.” You are interrupted by Remus grabbing your hand. The boys have heard enough, and he can see the you getting more and more agitated.

“Maddie, would you mind staying with the boys and making sure everyone gets cleaned up? I want to talk to y/n” Remus asks in a quiet voice.

“Of course, use our room. I’ll make sure everyone gets cleaned up and taken care of.” Once he gets the okay he softly pulls you out of the bathroom.

“Love. Can you look at me?” He has both of your hands in his hands, rubbing them with his thumbs.

Still frustrated, “I just don’t understand how you can be friends with them. They are awful and are worse than cavemen!”

“Y/N I promise that’s what you see but they are so much better than that. I promise you Sirius is beating himself up because he does take care of the first years. He knows what it’s like to be alone so he makes sure they never feel alone. I can’t defend what they were planning to do to you because it was an asshole move. But they are hotheads and do things without thinking. I understand you are frustrated and probably annoyed, but why don't we take your mind off it? Maddie has got it taken care of.” He looks as sees the book you are currently reading on your nightstand, “how about I read to you? Do you think that will help us relax?”

You look at him sheepishly. Of course you want this handsome boy to read to you in his soothing voice. I mean you are already in your pjs and are already ready for bed, so why not. Looking at him unsure, he gets up, grabs the book and sits at the head of your bed. He pats the spot next to him, it takes you a moment before you move. The next thing he does shocks you to your core, he grabs your shoulders and maneuvers you to where your back is against his chest at an angle so you can see the book too. It takes you a moment to melt into his embrace but eventually you and him are so close, you can't tell where your body ends and his begins. When he is reading to you you can't help but think, ‘is it weird im basically cuddling a dude I don't even know? Is it bad that I'm enjoying it? How does he calm me down like nothing? This is insane, but I'm just going to go with the flow for right now.’ between the beat of his heart, his soothing voice, and the feeling of his arms you pass out.

He can see your chest begin to rise and fall steadily and assumes you are asleep. Sirius, James and Maddie are still working, so he takes this time to relax with the beautiful hothead cuddling up against him. Eventually he falls asleep to the sound of your breathing and the feeling of your body against his.

James, Sirius, Maddie, and the boy they learned his name to be Luke come out and all stop suddenly. They look at the two people fast asleep cuddled on y/n’s bed. Sirius sighs and says, “well looks like she is going to be in our life more often Prongs…” He turns to Maddie, “I am sorry for what happened last weekend. I truly apologize. I hope we can work past it and be great friends, because it looks like we will be hanging out more often.``

The Third Time

Sirius was in fact right. You and Maddie have infiltrated the marauders. Maddie goes where you go, because you refuse to leave her behind, you two are attached at the hip. Remus and you grew closer. The six of you are always together, funnily enough Maddie is now closest to Sirius. How the tables have turned. The reason you even met the marauders is because Siri made her cry and now they are inseparable. But you and Remus, man you and Remus are so close. Most of the time he is sleeping in your room, or y'all are eating off each other's plates (and he doesn’t share his food with anyone). In this process you couldn't help but fall for him. His soft eyes, the why he takes care of you, his calming voice, it was impossible not to. However this is a secret you will take to your grave. Not only have you made four great friends, you can see Maddie fitting in perfectly, you are not going to ruin that because stupid feelings.

Not only are you and Remus attached at the hip outside of class, the one class you share you now sit basically on top of each other. When it came time for the mid year project you were ecstatic that you had Remus, because like you he cares about his school work. It turned out it was a group project however, and you two just partnered up with two other random people, Jesse and Krsitina, in your class. In hindsight, there is not much you can do when your professor demands it be a group project and yall know no one else in that class. But at this moment you can only think of pushing your other partners into the black lake.

It was your idea. It was a fresh day, nice and spring. The flowers are blooming, the lake looks beautiful, and the butterflies are out in full force. You all decided to meet at the library today after lunch, and then would move outside by the lake. Only problem is one of your partners is a no show. Jesse offers to go and look for Kristina. So you and Remus tell him where you will be while he goes and looks for Kristina. Arriving at the perfect spot you set down the blanket and lay out all your books and the plant you will be studying. Waiting for a little bit was okay, but once it is 20 minutes with no sign of Jesse or Kristina you give up.

You stand up, because everyone knows when you are frustrated you can't stay still. Starting to pace, the more you think of it the more agitated you get. You are too busy in your head to see Remus and how worried he is for you. All you can think about while pacing is how this entire project has been just you, Remus, and Jesse. The entire time Kristina has literally done nothing and boy were you frustrated.  

“I don't understand. It is insane. It is her project too. But between me, you, and Jesse we have done everything. It is ridiculous. I am done. I don't even want to put her name on the project. What if we just don't? Is that too rude? I mean she hasn't helped with anything. It is such bullshit. I don't want to put her name on it! Maybe that will teach her.”

“Whoa y/n, love. Is that really what you want to do? You know I will support you in anything, and back you up. But once you do that you have completely burned that bridge. Maybe we should just talk with the professor first? See if she has any suggestions?.” He takes your hand and leads you back to the blanket. By now he knows that if you are already pacing you just need to talk outloud to process your feelings. But since you have not started ranting after he spoke he takes it as a sign you are ready to calm down. What you don't know is he has been doing some reading on different ways to calm people down, that is why he does what he does next. “We have been talking, but we haven't taken a moment to just be and listen. Wanna try?”

Okay let's be honest, it sounds cheesy, but for him you would do anything. So with a look on your face you nod and say “I guess.” he sits yall down on the blanket and moves everything. He moves to sit criss crossed on the blanket and pulls you to rest your head in his lap. Between his natural comforting self and the soft grass underneath the blanket, you automatically feel the tension slowly melting away. The next thing he does has you scrunching up your nose, but like we said for him you would do anything at this point. He takes off his tie and ties it around your eyes, he knows if he just told you to close them you would get bored and open them before he was ready for you to.

“Okay y/n bear with me. Your eyes are covered because we take in so much with our eyes and right now we are wanting to focus on what we can hear. Did you know that when you take away one sense, the rest intensify? Well we are gonna test that. Just listen.” He takes the clip out of your hair and you feel him slowly detangling it and running his hands through it. You're listening to all the sounds and at first it is overwhelming. But slowly you focus on one at a time.

The first thing you focus on is the soft lapping of the water. With Remus’ hands in your hair and your eyes covered it feels as if you are floating over the water. You can hear it that clearly.

The next sound you can hear is buzzing. There are lots of bugs and you wish you could say you know the exact type of bug… but alas when bugs are near you are nowhere to be seen. So your knowledge on them is limited. But not seeing them and again with his hands in your hair you envision the bees(yes you envisioned them to be bees because bumblebees are cute) dancing with each other in the wind.

The last notable sound is the humming coming from above you. Not only do you hear it but you can feel it from where your head is resting on his legs and slightly on his tummy. You don't know what he is humming. All you know is your heart beat is slowing down and your face is no longer heated(when you get made you feel like your face is on fire from how mad you get). But no. All of that is gone. When you have remus around what normally takes you hours or even days to calm down, takes less than an hour.

Jesse ended up showing up saying Kristina is nowhere to be found. So the three of you worked on the project. Lets just say you were in a dream-like state the rest of the day, and Jesse was surprised you were not fuming at the fact Kristina was a no show again.

The Fourth Time

To say the entire school was shocked at the lack of label on you and Remus is an understatement. There are bets going on, Sirius and James trying to work in the background to make one of you confess something. The loving gazes are too much, the ditchING everyone else just because the other one mentioned something is ridiculous, the love that could be shared if someone just grew a pair and said something is about to make everyone scream. But here we are, you two hanging out in his room. He was reading on his bed while you were finishing up some class work on his desk.

This is not uncommon for the two of you. Being in each other's presence doing separate things, yet this doesn't mean yall do not do things together. Most nights you two are reading in his bed or yours and pass out there. Or in the great hall eating together, you two have gotten in the habit of both getting different things but then eating off each other's plates. You think it's a great use of time, you get one thing you both want to try and he gets something you both want to try and then you just share. You do this when you go out to hogsmeade as well.

You need to make a quick note to write back to your parents, if you don't write it down you will forget. Well you sure aren't writing it in your notes or textbook, so you do the logical thing. Try to find a piece of scrap paper on Remus’ desk. Finding what you thought was blank paper and write yourself the note. You flip it over in case you need to write something else, that's when you notice the writing. Not trying to be nosey, but you read it because you need to know if you say sorry to Remus for ruining an important paper or just take it. However when skimming it you have to reread it to make sure you were not going crazy… ‘Remus I know you are at Hogwarts on scholarship, why are you wasting your time? We both know that with your furry monstrous condition you have no real future. Why not come home. Your mom misses you anyways. Maybe you can get a job as a local gardener or something. One of those jobs that no one pays attention to? Because son I am telling you now no one is going to want to deal with the monster you are. So it might be best if you stop wasting time with learning and this dream of being a healer and come home. Your mom has not touched your room.’ With each word you take in you get angrier and angrier. Clearly you were showing it on your body because the next thing you know Remus is grabbing it out of your hands.

He sighs because he knows what is coming but tries to avert it anyways, “It’s nothing y/n. Please let's just leave it alone.” you take a moment, still internalizing everything you just read. You cannot believe that his own father is the one he listens to. It all makes sense now, how when you first found out about him being a werewolf he gave you an out. Told you he doesn't blame you if you want to leave. Of course you got upset with that and called him ridiculous. But it all makes sense now. He is hearing those awful words from his family, even when he is away at school. You can only imagine how bad it was before he came to school and how bad it is during the breaks. No wonder he stays here as often as he can or goes home with one of his friends.

Still frozen out of anger you finally reboot and turn to look at him. He has gone back to reading like nothing happened. Like your heart did not just get ripped out of your chest and set on fire. Standing up so fast the chair gets knocked back, you stomp over to him and grab his book out of his hands. Yes you are rougher than you meant but you are livid, if this was a cartoon steam would be coming from your ears. He doesn't even flinch. He does however sit up straighter and give you all of his attention. By now he knows the stages of your anger, at first you are quiet and processing it, next you pace to get the ideas forming more, then you rant or yell, then you come down and typically get sleepy. He gives you time to get your thoughts in order, because he found out very quickly he can only calm you down if he knows what is going on in your head. “Pretty girl, take your time but as soon as you are ready to talk your feelings out I’m here. Take your time.”

Starting to pace your thoughts are slowly becoming coherent and not a jumbled mess. “Please for the love of god do not tell me you believe that bullshit. That is the dumbest shit I have ever read. You’re a monster? The man that gets my favorite food so I can eat double of it, or gets something else I want to try so I can try both things. The man that ditches his friends for me when I want to have a quiet night in reading? Oh yeah, such a monster. Oh wait, let's not forget how you help everyone before you even think of helping yourself. OH yeah let's talk about the fact that you always walk on my left side because you know I hate holding hands with my right hand. Or the fact that you let me sleep with it freezing because I like to get all bundled up. Such a monster. That lying piece of shit. You know that right? Absolutely in no way are you a monster. Is that why you gave me an out? I cannot believe this. You! A monster! That is almost comical. What is that dicks address? I need to give him a piece of my mind. And how you won’t to be a good healer? Such bullshit! Remember that time James broke his arm and you fixed it! We didn’t even have to go to the infirmary! You are such an amazing human being and I am glad I get to be your friend. I would love to get to show you how much I love you, but I don't want to ruin our friendship. But gosh if I could just tell you how much I love you. I love you remus so much it hurts-”

All of a sudden you are quiet. It takes you a moment to understand why. Remus has his lips on yours. Like the naturally dominating person he is, he controls the kiss but that is fine by you. Your mind is shut off, which rarely happens. All you can focus on is the way he tastes like hot chocolate and mint. And oh how soft his lips are. And how well they fit with yours. It is like he is your missing puzzle piece. All of a sudden everything is gone but you, him, and y’all’s lips. Eventually he pulls away because air is a must to survive, but after that kiss he feels alive for the first time.

With his hands on your face, “You really love me?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“In the middle of you talking you said you love me and how much you want to tell me but not ruin the friendship… If you didn't mean it we can totally pretend the kiss didn't happen, but I’m not sure about you but that felt like home for me and I'm not going to pretend it didn't.”

“Wait no please, of course I meant what I said, I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. You are my home so of course that felt like homie for me too. I just didn't even realize I said it out loud. That is not how I imagined this happening, and trust me I have imagined it many different ways.”

“Well I am glad we got that out of the way, I love you too. Can we please just go lay down? Maybe take a nap before dinner?”

“Of course Remus.” You take his hand and lead him to the bed. Both of you get under the covers and snuggle really close together. “I am so sorry about everything I said but I hope you know you are not a monster and if I have to prove to you everyday that you are not I will spend the rest of my life doing-” he kisses you again this time softly and slowly. “What was that for, not that I'm complaining?”

“You were getting upset again and I don't want you to be upset . I like you just like this pretty girl, in my arms, kiss drunk, and calm. I love you y/n.”

The one time you calm remus down

Spending your seventh year Christmas break with Remus is a dream come true. All except where you were. You will never forget that letter, those words imprinted on your brian. You almost said no, but his mom is the sweetest and wants to meet you. ANd who are you to turn down his sweet mother. So after spending a week with your family, you must travel to his family. You both decide to take a muggle train, something you two are comfortable doing.

With his hand in yours, you find your seats and get comfortable. He is reading a book while you look at the world flying past you. Yet your mind is running faster than the train. You need to give yourself a pep talk on how to approach his father. You already told Remus you will be civil, but that is it. That man deserves nothing from Remus or you. His mom is the only reason you agreed, well and the loving brown haired boy next to you lost in his book. You squeeze his hand and he squeezes it back, this is y’all’s silent way to say I love you.

The ride to his hometown gave you time to nap and read with Remus. Your two favorite things to do with him. Within this time two things are going through your mind on repeat: 1. You love Remus and will give him the world, 2. You are doing this for his mom, not his piece of shit dad.

Arriving at his parents' place has you jittery with nerves, but again you just repeat those two things and are hoping for the best. He walks in and you follow. The first thing you notice is the house doesn't feel like a home, no pictures of him as a kid, no family pictures. The house reminds you of a model home. Walking Up the stairs you get to his room to find it the same as the rest of the house. It breaks your heart, but again you tell yourself you are doing this for him and no one else(well his mom too). Yall do not unpack, just set the things down on the bed and go to make some tea. His parents must still be out, because they have not come to see yall.

Making the tea and sitting on the couch you two just spend some time in each other's company. Sometimes you exchange small words and soft conversations, but really between the car ride and muggle train ride you both are sleepy and just wanting to be in each other's presence. The door opens and both of you pick up your heads and go to stand up. His parents notice yall in the living room and immediately come over.

“Oh hi dear! You must be y/n, I've heard so much about you! I am so glad you were able to make it for a little bit. We are so happy to have Remus home and even more happy he has brought you!”

“Hi Mrs. Lupin, it is so nice to meet you as well! You have a beautiful house, thank you for inviting us to stay here.” During this conversation, his dad doesn't mention anything. But from the look on his face he is clearly not happy about something. His mom drags you to the kitchen to show you some of the Christmas decorations they bought for the holiday since all the family will be coming to their house this holiday. There were so many decorations, and seeing as you love this holiday you are more than excited to help her!

But all of that is halted when you hear shouting. Automatically thinking the worst about you and mrs. Lupin goes back into the living room doorway where the boys still are. Both of you missed what must have set him off, but for the first time in your relationship you see Remus shouting. Embarrassingly so it is normally you that is shouting… But you do catch what he says and your heart stops.

“I love her dad. I am so tired of you putting me down. But whatever, I'm used to it. But her? Absolutely not. I draw the line there. She is the best thing to happen to me. She believes in me, she loves me and most importantly she accepts me for who I am. ALL of who I am. So don't come in here and judge us when you don't know her or us as a couple. That is the woman I am going to marry someday and I will not stand by and let you talk about her like that! If that is all you can say or do then I think we will be staying somewhere else until the holiday dinner.” He turns to come and get you but stops when he sees you. You can see it in his face that he is ready to leave.

But you know he would regret it and miss his mom. So you do something you never thought you would have to do. You grab his face with both of your hands and make him look at you, much like he did the very first time he calms you down. Before saying anything you bring his head down to yours and lay your foreheads together. In a hushed voice you say “Yes remus. I will marry you. Obviously when we are older, but when you find the right moment to propose, I will say yes. I love you with my entire being and I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. I know you are the one normally calming me down so I have no idea if I'm doing this right, but my love, I am here for you. I am right here by your side. Whatever you want to do I will do.”

If you ask him, he still does not know exactly what calmed him down, was it your hands on his face? Was it you saying yes to being his wife someday? Was it your foreheads touching? Was it the soft kiss you gave him? He doesn't know all he knows if he loves you with his entire being plus the moon, and even though you might be a hothead and more times than not he is pulling your away ro calming you down he wants you to be his wife and the mother of his children.

[maleyanderecafe]

I Said I Love you to Death, Didn't I? (Manga)

Created by: Sankaku

Genre: Horror/Mystery

This manga complete at about four chapters and man, is it rather dark but fun. It very lightly reminds me of Killer in Love with the way that the story is going. I'm a big fan of yanderes in mystery stories and I think that the main female, Ai is also rather suspicious in the way she acts around Asumori.

The story starts out with Asumori seeing a ghost affect a man by causing him to drop his phone. Asummori feels useless as he's unable to do anything, but quickly turns to his phone to think about his angel, Ai. At school, the two of the work together to clean up afterschool, with Asumori noticing that a ghost is haunting her as well, thus causing the various injuries she has all over her body. He seems surprised that Ai knows his name, and is overjoyed to be hanging out with her. After he catches her when tripping down the stairs, Ai declares him as her savior after he apologizes for touching her, making him extremely happy. After the two walk home, we see that Asumori lives in a rather abusive home. We see that Asumori has been collecting things that Ai has given him, as well as the fact that his spirit perception seems to transfer, probably explaining why Ai is so strong affected by spirits. As such he promises to stay away from her as much as possible, however, Ai continues to follow after him during school and even afterwards. Asumori gets beat at home by his brother, and ends up walking to the park where he meets Ai again. He explains his bruises to Ai, and Ai explains her own experiences with domestic violence. The two of them continue to get closer, with Ai buying Asumori clothes, going to amusement parks and buying gifts for each other. and Asumori gets more and more obsessed. Asumori watching other guys get close to Ai, to which he starts to get jealous and promises to kill any guys that get close to her. Ai eventually gains powers from Asumori, though despite everything she still wants to be with him. He ends up going to Ai's house where he meets her mother, whom he believes has a distaste for him. Ai tells him that the black shadows come from her father, who had died a while ago. When Asumori goes home, he becomes increasingly worried about what will end up happening to Ai and goes back to her house. There, he is greeted by Ai's mother and Asumori accuses her of killing her husband as well as several other people. We find out that Ai's mother was there to basically stall Asumori and when he goes back, he finds that Ai has already killed off his family. He realizes that the spirits surrounding her are actually the vengeful spirits that she's killed. Ai's mother explains that Ai has anti-social personality disorder and that she was the one who killed her father and is incredibly good at pretending to be normal and that her mother has been moving them around and helping to hide bodies. Ai reveals that her cuts were because of the struggles of other people who tried to resist her, and asks if Asumori would ever abandon him. He promises to never, believing that he was given redemption by Ai. He ends up killing himself to make sure that Ai isn't arrested, and blaming his family's murders on himself, as he loves Ai.

Like I said, although this series is short, it is a good start to what I hope will be a good mystery, perhaps even a psychological one. It reminds me a bit of Killer in Love or even He was My Brother in that aspect, with the yandere growing more obsessed with their lover as the story goes on. We see that the ghost aspect and the fear of him projecting on his, I want to say power, onto her is keeping him from really trying to be close to her, yet he can't help but be drawn in by her kindness. I am a little suspicious of Ai though based on the sudden way that she treats Asumori with kindness, since it seems to be out of nowhere, but it is hard to say with only two chapters out. It could go the Killer in Love route where Ai does actually slowly corrupt Asumori to her own needs, but it feels more like Asumori will become more corrupted because of Ai's unintentional actions like talking to other guys. It does make me wonder where he gets his powers from, whether it's something that he had when he was younger or if it was something that was passed down, as well as what might happen in Ai gains these powers as well. As a yandere, we see that Asumori idolizes Ai a lot, stalking her and keeping track of all the things that she has given her and even taking pride that he is her savior, especially after he finds out that he can dispel the spirits that surround her. I wonder if it ties in with the missing persons report that we hear in the television later on, or even if he's already been doing that before we even knew what was going on.

What's written above are my initial impressions of the series back when there were only about one or two chapters. Now that the story is complete, I have to say I was right about Ai being suspicious and I really love how the story went in the end. I've always mentioned before that I really like it when the yandere's darlings are as bad or sometimes even worse than the yandere themselves and this story really does it well. It first gives the impression that Ai is the one being abused because of her cuts and the various spirits that surround her, however twists it when it's show the cuts are actually from people trying to fight back from when she was killing them. I'm surprised that the mother didn't try to call the police or anything and just continually helped her daughter hide corpses. I suppose living under the fear that her daughter might kill her at any moment would do that to you. Asumori's devotion goes even further when he commits suicide in the end to cover for Ai, fully embracing the love he has for her even in death.

It's a very good, albeit short series with a dark yandere story. I do wish that this creator will make more yandere content in the future since I was a fan of how they were able to surprise me about how Ai really was and how the outcome of Asumori's story ended up being. I hope you will enjoy it too if it is to your taste.

[katboykirby]

As someone with autism, Satan with an autistic MC would be so wholesome and perfect...

Satan who makes sure a MC always has a jacket and a spare pair of plastic gloves handy to help them with their sensory issues.

Satan who takes over some of autistic MC’s chores, cleaning the dirty dishes and dealing with leftovers so that MC doesn’t freak out when they have to touch it.

Satan who never leaves MC’s side at large gatherings lest they get overstimulated and run off again. The last time that happened it took everyone so long to find them. Luckily, MC was alright. They were tucked away in a small room in the castle to hide.

Satan who is perfectly alright with sitting silently in your room while the two of you work on your own things. Maayyybeee he wouldn’t mind it if you wanted to scoot closer to him.

DOESN’T LET DIFFERENT FOODS TOUCH ON YOUR PLATE!! WILL START A RIOT IF HE FINDS THAT ANYONE HAS LET FOODS TOUCH ON YOUR PLATE!!

…ahem

Satan who doesn’t find MC’s tendency to disappear without a trace frustrating. He knows they like to go ‘exploring’ alone, wandering off for a short while before returning to his side per usual. Maybe when you grow close enough you’ll take him on a little journey.

Satan who admires you and your love for certain things. No matter how trivial they may seem, he knows that those are the things that make up the world for you. He’ll gladly listen to you talk about your interests for hours.

Satan who takes your relationship as slow as you may need. Sexual intimacy doesn’t equal love to him. He’s okay with you touching him and not the other way around if that’s what you feel comfortable with.

Satan who seems to be the only one who understands MC’s reluctance to physical touch. He avoids touching MC whenever possible. He shows his affection for MC in other ways.

Taking them to a quiet cat café.

Taking them to a new pop up event for their favorite anime.

Hell, he even downloaded Mononoke Land so that when they went on walks together he could catch spirits alongside them. (He’s their only added friend on the game so he makes sure to send them gifts daily.)

When MC shyly hugs him for the first time he thinks he might combust on the spot— it’s such a special occasion for him!

You think you’re a burden and nuisance because you’re so different, yet to Satan, that’s what makes you so perfect. It’s what makes him love you so much.

(p.s,,, if it wouldn’t bother you I could be 💚anon or bitchass autistic anon! I don’t know if you label your anons or not. :) )

((also don’t feel pressured to respond or look at this ask! I just thought you might like it.))

This is so, so lovely and I really enjoyed reading all of your thoughts. And nobody has asked to be a tagged Anon before! Of course you can be 💚 Anon!

I feel like I don't have very much to say in response, because you've already put everything into words so wonderfully. I'm not autistic myself, but I know that there's some overlap with ADHD (my own diagnosis) when it comes to certain habits or behaviours, and I do some of the things that you've described so I feel like I can relate to a certain extent.

I do think that all of the OM boys would be supportive of an autistic partner (or any of the personal struggles that their partner might have, be they mental or physical) but I do also believe that Satan would be one of the best at intuitively knowing exactly what his partner wants and needs without having to ask for anything to be explained or spelled out for him.

Whether you HC Satan as autistic or not, he does have a lot of his own habits and behaviours that are somewhat similar, and he's good at figuring things out on his own even from very small or subtle hints.

If he sees you carefully separating the different foods on your plate (something many of his brothers would be too loud or rowdy during mealtimes to notice right away) he would make sure to keep your food clearly separated the next time it was his turn to make dinner, and would make sure to separate your food every time in the future as well.

If he notices the way you gently (or not-so-gently) pull away from physical contact, he will always be sure to refrain from touching you without your explicit permission; something that his other brothers (like Mammon, Asmo, or Beel, for example) might take longer to figure out, since they're just so used to hugging you or putting an arm around you without even thinking about it. Satan isn't the biggest fan of all the touchy-feely stuff either (we often see him yelling at his brothers not to touch him in the games) so he knows how you feel, and he doesn't want to intrude on your personal space.

He loves that you always listen to him whenever he has something to say, especially when he starts gushing at length about the current book he's reading or about the cat he saw on his way from from RAD that day. Nobody else really bothers to pay him any attention when he starts rambling like that - Levi is really the only one who can relate, but Levi also has trouble keeping himself from interrupting and going into his own long spiels. And Satan loves listening to you when you tell him all about your own hyperfixations in turn. It doesn't matter what you're rambling about, Satan is hanging on to every word.

Satan is a very meticulous person who would take his time to deeply and carefully consider all of the best ways he could support you and make you feel comfortable, without making you feel patronised or condescend to. He'd never want to make you feel like a child he was taking care of, because you are both perfectly equal in his eyes. He knows what it feels like to be seen as less than, thanks to many years of hinself only ever being seen as his rage. He never wants you to feel like just a diagnosis or just a disability. Like his Wrath, your autism is a part of you, but it is not all of you. It is not your entire identity or all that you are.

He loves you so, so much ♡

[gay-rad-desert]

Grantaire and Combeferre

My @drinkwithme-exchange gift for @deadgayturtles !! I hope you like it :)

Accompanying headcanons for these drawings are under the cut :D

Grantaire and Combeferre meet in primary school in drama club and quickly become close friends 

because they’re both little weird theatre nerds 

they rehearse their lines together 

already back then, they start to come up with their own ideas for short plays together and frequently improvise scenes together just for fun

they continue to visit the same high school where they’re both taking the same drama class 

with the end of high school approaching, Grantaire decides to attempt at getting into art school but simultaneously, he’s having a rough time mentally and doubts himself a lot

Combeferre is the person who keeps encouraging him patiently, is always there for Grantaire and helps him to work hard on his application 

Grantaire ends up getting accepted at his dream school 

Grantaire moves away to go to art school and he moves in with Joly and Bossuet 

they’re the most fun roommates he could’ve asked for and the three of them have a fun time during college

Grantaire really thrives in art school and decides to add drama and teaching to his career plan

he graduates and gets his first job as a teacher quite young, but keeps living with Joly and Bossuet, who are both still studying

his students love him and Grantaire manages to write an original play together with them in only his first year of teaching (and it’s actually a big success)

meanwhile the students from his art class are in charge of designing the stage and the costumes

Combeferre is going to medical school in a different city

Enjolras and Courfeyrac become his roommates and close friends

Combeferre is severely struggling with med school, he loves everything he learns and it is his passion but he’s constantly burnt out, not sleeping enough and struggling a lot to keep up and balance it with taking care of himself

Enjolras and Courfeyrac of course notice that their friend isn’t doing well and they talk to him and help him realise that he can’t keep going like this

he pauses his studies for a while and starts going to therapy, trying to make his life work out again

he decides to change career plans in favor of his health and becomes a teacher for biology and drama

a few years in the future, Combeferre has his fist day as a teacher at a new school, and he’s very nervous about it

the principal tells him he’s gonna be working closely together with their second drama teacher and walks him to the drama classroom to introduce him to his colleague 

when Combeferre walks into the room, he can’t believe his eyes when he spots Grantaire cleaning a huge whiteboard

and this is how they meet again after being parted on their separate journeys through college 

they obviously become an absolutely iconic and fun teacher duo

[brokenpieces-72]

No Answer

CoD Gangster AU | Navigation

Note: If you didn't see the poll I messed up and missed this chapter. It was sitting in my drafts, so I'm posting it now. There will be a nightmare comfort to come.

TW: Torture, physical violence (plenty), missing person, let me know if I missed anything.

You wake up to darkness, feeling sore and exhausted. Someone has certainly taken something thick and hard to your body in a highly unpleasant way. You hear voices but they’re muffled. Getting here had been fairly painful, Nolan isn’t gentle by any degree of the imagination. You fought but your exhaustion had gotten the better of you. Nolan didn’t shy away from a gut punch, and you swore you tasted blood. Not much could be recalled, except for an arm around your neck and your air being cut off.

You couldn’t see their faces, but they kept demanding to know where it all was. All you can guess is they mean the files on corrupt cops and criminals. Most of the files were copied ahead of time, and were in your unit. Why didn’t they just take those? You kept denying any knowledge of the files, or even they were files. That’s when things got very nasty. They tore into your sleeves and you struggled. You thought Alejandro was bad, he just yelled and intimidated you. Nolan was gonna make an example. Swipes across your arms made you hiss from pain, as he threatened to go deeper.

You grit your teeth, no. You can’t break. Don’t break you’re so close! You’re gonna clean this up. Hell you were telling the truth! They demanded to know what you had on Makarov. You had nothing, the file was somewhere but you don’t know where it is. You’re telling the truth, fucking stop cutting your arm! It fucking hurts! Not until you give it up. Nolan is relentless.

Don’t break… don’t break…

Nolan digs his fingers into your cuts. You feel your own warm blood being squeezed out, the pain making you want to scream. The only satisfaction you’ll give him is a whimper. For a short while he stops, offering you some time to mull over your decision to comply. You wait until you hear the door close and then wait longer. The cloth bag makes it hard to know if Nolan is still in the room. If he is he’s waiting to see if you’ll breakdown. You can’t give him that, you won’t let him.

You know what they are looking for from you. You’ve already gotten backups, but they don’t know what you’ve entirely been doing. Nolan hasn’t tried to get mental. He hasn’t bothered with mentioning destroyed files. Makarov was his priority. He’s making sure there wasn’t anything on Makarov. Right now, you can’t tip him off about what you are really doing. Protecting your gang. You’d sent an email to Laswell with the information you had found, and asked for help with doctoring the evidence. But there was no guarantee she could help. All you can do right now is endure the pain.

Endure and pray, it will be over. Pray that Laswell can get your gang out.

The door opened again, you hear the flick of a lighter. “Alright, time to get ugly.” You hear.

Laswell did get your email but now she was worried about you. You suddenly went dark, and no one knew where you were. Farah was out, and then suddenly you disappear. She still had to wait 24 hours for you to be officially missing and to get an investigation, in which case there wouldn’t be time. Makarov was stalling you, and she wasn’t about to let you stop. Kate was working while Charly was still searching. Now there was more incentive. Find Nolan, find you, find the key to her friend’s release.

Alex comes to Laswell with Farah and food. If there’s one thing Alex has learned, every one of his friends is a workaholic who neglects food out of stress. Laswell has most of the evidence finished for each file. The two for Alejandro and Rudolfo are done and ready to go. But even with all she has she needs you to turn them in. Graves had proven to be less than ideal. Alex could get in shit for it. Laslwell turns it in she may lose her position on city council. It had to be you. It was your case.

“They still haven’t replied?” Farah asks, sitting at the bar counter in the pub. Alex sat next to her with Laswell looking absolutely exhausted.

“Charly is looking out for them.” Laswell says, but it sounds more like a reminder to herself.

“Nolan got to them. Should’ve stayed the extra night.” Alex says, staring at the counter. Farah pats his back.

“They insisted.” Farah reminds him. “Makarov works quickly. He’s taken them to keep them out of the way.”

“We only have a couple days before he is back. I’m working quickly, but none of us can safely turn them in, it needs to be y/n. It’s their case.” Laswell says rubbing her temples. Alex digs into the bag of food he brought, and handed the order to Laswell.

“Not hungry.” She says, and gets her laptop shut by Farah.

“Don’t care.” Alex says, and Laswell reluctantly takes the wrapped burger. Once she’d unwrapped it, Alex set off.

“Where are you going?” Kate asks, with her mouth full.

“Moonlighting in private investigation.” Alex calls as he leaves the pub. Farah and Kate share a look.

You’re exhausted. Nolan has decided to heat up a blade and your skin. Despite your desperate pleas that you didn’t know anything he kept up with the creativity. As a cop you’ve seen kidnapping cases and you were praying that it only escalated this far. You’re left in the room by yourself and you know you’re alone cause you properly hear Nolan walk away, talking as he left down a hall. You can’t hear anything outside but hear a drip.

Your body aches, and your blood is drying but still sticky. It hurts to breathe, your broken ribs screaming. You wonder if you could even walk with the amount of pain in your legs. It’s a miracle you’ve only been cut and not stabbed. It tells you Nolan needs you alive. Makarov needs you alive.

There is a file that Makarov knows about but you don’t know where it is. So who has it? And who else knows about it? Why not just kill you and the file is buried forever? Nolan has just kept taunting you and demanding where the file was. He even offered to let the guys go if you complied. The offer was tempting but you know how easily those words can be twisted around. They let them go only to release them underwater.

Motherfucker, this information is useless! You’re stuck here until Nolan lets you go or someone else finds Nolan. There’s no guarantees anyone will find him, and you don’t know how many days have passed. You tried to exchange information with Nolan but his answer was a hot knife to your bicep and shoulder. You were still here though, so that means Makarov still has yet to make another move. There’s a chance the gang is still alive, otherwise you’d be released or in the same place as them.

Alex starts at your apartment and tries to figure out where you could’ve gone from there. He retraces every route you could’ve gone, and is getting frustrated. Why couldn’t this be a bit easier? There has to be some lead but your room is filled with files he’s already seen, there’s a number of sidewalks you could’ve taken, and Graves had no leads himself aside from Nolan. Alex was starting to hate that name in general. He sits in your apartment, using a spare key you hid in the stairwell. Alex continues looking around your apartment before circling back to your room, sitting on the neatly made bed.

The files were still open, but there was nothing on Nolan he could find. Makarov was away, Nolan had you, and they were only a couple days away before the 141 could be dropped in the river and Makarov gets everything he could ever want. Alex rubs his face frustrated and lost. No directions except everywhere. Alex is wracking his brain, thinking of a solution to a problem he has no answers to. Then he hears a knock at your door. Before he can answer it he hears it open and takes cover at the door frame, gun drawn. Seriously the number of times people break into your apartment and or have drawn guns is concerning.

The footsteps approach casually and for a moment he wonders if you’ve returned. Then he considers it may be Graves looking for leads himself. Still he holds his position in wait. The steps approach slowly now. Alex takes a deep quiet breath, before leaving his cover. He aimed his gun, hoping for Nolan. Instead he found Charly.

“Cmon this is getting boring now. Tell me what I want to know.” Nolan says, sounding bored and annoyed. He’d taken you out of the chair, but kept your legs and wrists bound. Now he resorted to kicking and stomping… with metal cleats. Your breath was making you want to scream, your throat was dry, you were laid on your side where most of the burns had been applied, and you were just barely able to stay awake.

When you don’t answer him he gets close and grabs your hair, leaving the hood on. “The sooner you talk, the sooner I’ll give you relief! At this point everything is ready, and I won’t need to leave anytime soon.”

“You sure? …you remember to brush your teeth?” You ask, trying not to smile. You get a gut punch that rolls you on your back. Suddenly you feel heavy pressure on your cracked ribs. The pressure is slow but no less painful as you feel them starting to break under the weight. You grit your teeth, trying to hold strong. In a desperate attempt, you squirm, feeling more pain, but able to pull your knees in and double kick Nolan in the stomach. Nolan pulled himself off of you, only to bring a hard fist down on your knee, making you cry out.

“Fuck…” you groan.

“You’re a little shit.” Nolan grunts, spitting. “You want me to get ugly?”

“You were being pretty?” You question, trying to hide the amount of pain in your voice.

You hear a gun cock. Your blood goes cold. You go very still. “Tell me where!”

“I swear to fuck I don’t fucking know!”

“Tell me where Makarov’s file is!” He yells.

“I don’t fucking know!!”

BANG

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[thegorydamnreaper]

Symbolism in Red Rising: Hair (Darrow)

So this started as a conversation about why Darrow should be drawn with long hair, but then I started having Thoughts anddddd here we are. Spoilers for the whole series up until the end of Light Bringer, so you’ve been warned!

(Also putting it under the cut, because this accidentally turned into an essay.)

In the mines:

He has long-ish hair, enough that it’s held back by the sweatband but not enough to tie up. He could keep it short and avoid the hassle, so why let it grow out? Because hair is deeply important to Reds culturally! Reds use hair for their wedding bands, because they place value in it. That value can be taken from a few things - it’s theirs, and not something that can be taken away, it shows their Color, it’s a part of themselves that they can share with another, growing hair/having healthy hair is a sign of being fit. All of this means an early cultural emphasis on hair for Darrow.

It’s also interesting to note that Darrow is pulled away from Eo by his hair right before she sings.

From Red to Gold:

One of the final steps in his Carving is Mickey transplanting his hair, and interestingly enough that seems to be the final mail in the coffin for Darrow on his transformation into a Gold:

“Mickey takes my hair next. Everything is changed.” (Red Rising, Ch 12)

So not only is hair deeply rooted in cultural importance, but it’s also a visual symbol that ties people to their family as seen here:

“You have made me give up the hair Father gave me, the eyes Mother left me, the Color I was born to, so I will keep the name they granted me, and you can make it work.” (Red Rising, Ch 13)

The caste system in RR means that these visual markers are critical to self identity, something that Darrow really struggles with for a long time.

As a Gold:

His first haircut comes after his final transformation into a Gold, and is done by Evey. This is the “fresh start” moment, the point where his Gold status is at its lowest and he has the most to prove - but he also has a clean slate. He’s physically and mentally more capable than ever, but hasn’t been put to the test. Where other Golds have entire histories to live up to, at face value Darrow has nothing to lose.

In the Institute:

Hair styles are taken very seriously at this point, and in a way they end up being signatures of who these characters are, even as the plot takes them on far-flung journeys. It’s interesting that at this point Darrow let’s his hair grow out, and keeps it long whenever possible. But unlike the others he doesn’t adorn it in any way, but just by having it long he’s making a statement about his strength. His hair is long because no one has cut it (taken it as a trophy), and he’s a good enough leader/fighter that he can afford to wear his hair in such a way that an enemy could grant it. The Howlers also begin taking scalps at this point - beyond just a painful and humiliating tactic, it’s also akin to taking the “crowns” of their defeated foes. Golden hair/golden crown - and Darrow has his through the institute. It’s also interesting to note that his duel with Cassius is one of the few times hair isn’t involved in his defeat, and I think that’s because on some level Darrow believes that it was an earned punishment, so I wouldn’t categorize it as a true defeat.

The Academy:

His hair is still long, pulled back simply once again. To some degree this is to emulate Nero and the Peerless trends, but it also shows that he’s still winning. Until of course we get to the garden and the Bellonas shame him and Cagney chops his hair off - symbolic of cutting him down from his seat of power.

“She smiles in my face and looks at my hairline, lips parted with excitement of dominating another person.” (Darrow about Cagney, right before she cuts his hair, Golden Son Ch 3)

This all has a lot of parallels to the Samson & Delilah story (hair cut/power lost in a moment of weakness, is able to regain power when he’s back on his true path), which we see play out as we get to…

The Gala:

We’re back at long-ish hair (~2 months after the Cagney incident), like in the mines. Back at square one with Darrow once again at almost-rock bottom. But it’s at this point where he reveals his razor training, has a rematch with Cassius, takes the Morning Star, and overall just has a great time becoming a living legend. Until, well, he’s stabbed in the back by one of his closest friends.

Rescue (Morning Star):

Once again Darrow is being forced into a haircut, though in his choice of words it’s a “scalping.” Once again, hair being taken as a trophy to humiliate someone.

“Dirty blond hair puddles onto the concrete as the Gray finishes scalping me with an electric razor. ” (Morning Star, Ch.3)

Also interesting to note, this is the first time we get the very controversial ~beard~. My take on the beard is that it’s symbolically not good, and signals a lack of control/autonomy over Darrow’s world down to even his own appearance. He’s at a loss with how to proceed, and is very nearly broken by his time with the Jackal. So I’m sorry, but if Darrow is sporting a beard, he’s not in a great place.

Stick with me, because after the time skip more Things are happening.

Iron Gold:

Chapter one hits us with this:

“These Gold eyes and hair feel more my own than those of that boy who lived in the mines of Lykos. That boy grew, loved, and dug the earth, but he lost so much it often feels like it happened to another soul.”

Even ten years later there’s a part of him questioning his own identity, and his outward appearance is a huge part of that. Is he a Gold, destined for cold brutality, or is he still a Red at heart? Personally I believe that defining himself by either is limiting, but it’s sweet to see his inner struggle to avoid becoming like the monsters he’s fighting.

Then there’s this scene with Virginia:

“She reaches up, dragging her slender fingers through my hair.” (Iron Gold, Ch. 3)

It’s the only time on-page his hair is touched with a loving gesture, not with any force or blunt practicality.

Later on in IG we get this near miss:

“He grabs my hair with an armored hand and saws on the front of my forehead to claim my scalp.” (An Obsidian attacking Darrow, Ch 54)

Literally immediately after this he’s saved by Apollonius. Near miss in battle, near miss in losing his hair again.

Dark Age:

The main theme of this book is a slow defeat, and once again Darrow’s hair parallels this. With the constant radiation his army has all lost their hair by chapter 32, and continues to feel the effects as the book progresses. This book is one of the few times in the series where Darrow actually suffers a huge loss - Alex, his legion, his ship, his best friend, his wife, his son - are all taken from him by the end.

Light Bringer:

The first physical descriptions of the characters we get is this:

“Nearly all of us are bald and those who can wear beards in remembrance of Ragnar.” (LB Ch 2)

This sets the tone of the book in a lot of ways. There’s a remembrance and acknowledgement of the past. There’s also a sense that they’ve just been through hell, but hey at least they’re alive. And it’s a sign that they’re healing and recovering from the horrors of Mercury, which is a slow and at times ugly process.

We get this take from the scene with Apollonius:

“Hardly meriting a glance for Cassius, his eyes search me, relish me, devour every last centimeter of me, noting my diminished size, my grizzled beard, my pale skin, and shortened breath.” (LB Ch 8)

And these quotes from Virginia:

“He’s encountered radiation, and his hair has only started growing back. He has a beard, a terrible, hairy beard. But the change I sense runs deeper than the physical. His restless anxiety is not gone, but it is muffled by a solemn maturity. Nothing grants wisdom like loss.” (LB Ch 34)

“But I look at Darrow and I don’t see a savior. I see an exhausted, bearded survivor stumbling home without the ships or the men to turn the tide. ” (LB, Ch 34)

I think that she says enough about what the beard outwardly signifies. Not one to mince words here our Sovereign.

Further into the book while Darrow is putting himself back together there’s this:

“My mass is returning like the hair on my head. I’ve kept the beard. For some reason it helps me to feel like I’m on a mission.” (LB Ch 37)

He’s on a mission for an army/ships etc, but he’s also on a mission to heal himself. The beard is a part of that.

Matteo’s comments on it:

“Darrow of Lykos. You have a beard!” (LB Ch 37

“Matteo surveys my injured limbs, my sun-seared-turned-sun-starved skin, my fresh scars. Instead of looking away, as most do, to preserve his image of the invulnerable Reaper, he admires my imperfections, catalogues the wounds to understand my narrative, and then loves me all the more for them. Though I can tell he doesn’t like the beard.” (LB Ch 38)

It’s worth noting that Matteo is accepting of everything else, but specifically disapproves of the beard - which means it’s not just vanity. This is a man who’s known Darrow since he was Carved, and has spent his whole life dedicated to interpreting mannerisms and outward appearances, and had spent a lot of time with Darrow specifically. He knows that the beard is not a good sign.

Lyria (who is very observant throughout the books) chimes in here:

“Unlike Sevro, he still has his beard. He seems a different creature than the commander I saw in the war room. Tired, smaller somehow. His left hand has a tremor. His neck’s stooped, body contracted.” (LB Ch 63)

Sevro has processed what he needs to, Darrow still has work to do.

Which brings me here, to what I think is the best way to conclude this analysis:

“I catch myself in one of the room’s mirrors. I look like his ghost. But I’m not. In his bathroom I search for a razor. Then I laugh, because I remember one of the old stories about him. When he was a lancer, his Praetor told him to go shave because Peerless are beardless, boy. Lorn pulled out his razor and did it right there. I shave my beard with Bad Lass in his bathroom mirror. In this way I say goodbye to him and Ragnar both. I do a sloppy job and cut myself a few times.

“Wait. Who are you and what did you do with the ancient mariner?” Cassius says when I exit without a beard.”

Darrow has beaten Fá and exposed Atlas’s plot. He’s basically secured the Obsidians back to his cause. He’s made peace with himself and Athena about the Sons of Ares he turned in. He’s got the beginning of an alliance with the Rim. He’s made peace with Lorn’s ghost about Alex, and peace with himself about it too. Pax is safe, Cassius and Sevro are back at his side. He’s finally himself again.

There’s maybe a few quotes that I missed or chose not to include, but I think this timeline is a pretty extensive timeline of Darrow’s symbolic hair journey. If anyone has further analysis or thoughts, please add!!

[wendigoruble]

Eddie Gluskin: Tailor AU, his back story, his views on family now, his a still a bit narcissistic and misogynistic? How would his personality be like?

!!Eddie Gluskin: Tailor AU info dump!!

[All about Eddie with some mentions of Franco]

His Background:

Eddie still had a tumultuous homelife as a child and did still suffer abuse at the hands of his father and uncle. He did, however, get taken away from the family when he began displaying violent tendencies as a means of coping. After telling others what happened to him, he would soon be placed in the foster system, where he also got therapy.

He would go on to spend a few years in the system until he was adopted by a single mother [Barbara Dennis]. Because of this, he has no father figure to look up to, and so he ends up imprinting a lot on the things he's seen on TV. This makes him latch onto the idea of what he perceived to be "the perfect home."

Because many of his ideas of family come from TV, he does unfortunately develop a slightly misogynistic view of family. Very much a "wife stays home and does all of the housework and that's what women do" type view.

Through the rest of his childhood, he would fixate on the idea of having a perfect life. He would talk about it at length to his mom, who would report this back to his therapist. This would cause a small rift between him and his mother for a brief period of time.

Despite this, he loves his adoptive mother a lot. She taught him about fashion, how to cook, and how to be independent in attempts to curb his view on women.

She gave him the love he desperately wanted. She supported him when he needed it most, and she made sure he stayed in therapy until he turned 18.

Once he turned 18, he would go on to work at a dry cleaner while still living at home. In his spare time, he would design and make various outfits for himself and his mother, some of which he'd sell. Once he saved enough money, he'd open his own shop at age 22.

Current Day and Personality:

Eddie still holds the dream of having a perfect family with him. He wants a wife and a kid in spite of what he calls his "short comings". He wants his life to look like pages in a magazine, though he hasn't been able to make it happen.

Due to trauma and repression, he has an aversion to sex with other people as a concept. I wouldn't say he's asexual necessarily, but it's just an extremely touchy subject. Because he stopped going to therapy at 18 it's an issue he hasn't worked through and it remains unresolved.

Since his issues with sex goes unresolved, he never gets that close with any woman that's been in his life.

He isn't straight in this AU really, but due to the idealized life he has in his head he only ever pursues women. This leads to a lot of very frustrating relationships because he struggles to come to grips with the person he is.

I'd say he does think highly of himself to a near narcissistic degree, but not completely. He still deals with a lot of self-loathing but just likes to front that he's a self-made man who has it all together.

In his apartment above his shop, everything is kept clean except the spare bedroom where he kept extra sewing material. He's a minimalist because it's something he has very direct control over, and his childhood home was always cluttered.

He lives a relatively quiet life until Franco enters the picture and basically highjacks his entire life. Franco brings out a lot of aspects of Eddie that he didn't even know he had.

Through this invasion of his life, he realizes he has an extremely deep need to wait on someone hand and foot. He wants to be a caretaker to try and make up for his past, and Franco just happens to exemplify this want.

It's also a welcomed change (though he won't admit it) because he's now having prolonged contact with a man that isn't harming him in ways that he fears.

Aaaaaand that's all I got for now!

[maladaptive-jcb]

Chapter 1: Icebreaker

Jamie x female!reader fanfic

(fluff, safe for under 18)

Summary: Reader is an independent artist who lives on her own in a small town and meets Jamie, a musician, in an art studio where their budding relationship formed through shared interests of different forms of art.

Warning: There will be talks about trauma and PTSD from domestic abuse and dissociative episodes throughout the story.

A quiet groan. I can hear it from two seats away from where I’m sitting. It’s almost been a month since I started this painting class where I saw it opened two blocks away from my apartment a month ago. I thought it was a perfect way to ignite my old artistic passion again. Lucky for me, it's a budget studio class, which means I don't have to break my savings just to fill up some of my free time. I work at a local bookstore and currently renting a small apartment. I'm doing good, but not amazing while living as an independent girl in this town.

I hear another sigh coming from him. Jamie first came into class around the second week I started here. I remember it was a slow day in class. I was wondering if I should even be here in the first place until I heard footsteps coming in. The way he walked in with his tussled blonde hair and iridescent eyes captured my attention immediately. Ever since then, he never missed a class. I decided to stick around after all.

“Jamie…Jamie… What did I say?” Mr. Hayes, our art teacher stops behind him as Jamie is struggling with his work. “Always check the proportions. Sorry,” he says in a low tone voice. Subtle English accent. Disgruntled look is forming on his face as he tries fixing his painting with more acrylic. Mr. Hayes pats on his back with approval and goes along to check his other students.

He's not really the worst in class. I’ve seen his work, he did a lot of good paintings except that he hates small details and proportional work.

Should I help him more? I mean, we barely talk in class aside from the occasional “Hey,” from time to time. In fact, he barely talks to anyone in here.

He shoots up a look to me.

Shit.

I didn’t realize that I’ve been staring at him for a while.

“Y/n, you’re doing great just don’t forget to clean up your finishing touches this time,” Mr. Hayes distracted my train of thoughts. “I will. Thank you, Mr. Hayes,” I give him a quick nod. I've had such a great experience so far with Mr. Hayes. He'll find a way to make one-on-one teaching lessons feel so personal to you. He's also very patient with all of us considering most of his students came in with zero prior art knowledge. I think that’s why Jamie has improved so much in just a short period of time.

____

The morning is still early when the class ended and I'm now on a hunt for some caffeine to keep my day going. The café is just a five minutes walk down the road. It's called the Aroma Mocha. Since it's an hour away until my shift starts at the bookstore, I decide to have a brisk walk under the cool weather, taking it all in.

As I walk in, there are already five people in line ahead of me at the counter. I wait in line as I soak in the café’s inviting atmosphere. I see a few people inside with their quiet talks to each other. Another middle aged woman reading her book while sipping on a hot coffee. A dark haired teenage girl in the slightly hidden corner with headphones on while sipping on her cold drink in hand. I can't tell what it is but it makes me crave for an iced latte. In another corner, there's a tired college student staring straight into his laptop screen with the fast click-clacking sound of his hands on the keyboard. Just the right amount of calm and busy here, topped off with the aroma of freshly grinded up coffee beans filling up the air. It’s just such a nice morning to start. I've been observing everyone that I haven't noticed anyone getting in line behind me until…

“Y/n, right?”

I turn around and met with a tall lanky figure, silver rings on his fingers, blonde hair framing his cheekbones perfectly in the dim lights of the café.

“Oh yes. And you’re Jamie!”

He smiles. “Yep. Fancy meeting you outside the class.”

“I hope that’s not a bad thing.”

“Not at all. Pleased, really,” his eyes twinkles.

I don’t see the disgruntled, contorted face he always makes when painting in frustrations. He seems… sweet.

“Next!” The barista calls out to me.

“One iced latte, please…” I turn to Jamie. “…and whatever he’s having.”

“Coffee. Black,” he leans forward to respond. His subtle breath warm on my neck. “Thank you."

“You’re welcome,” I return his smile.

I’ve wanted to approach him so many times in class and chickened out. Crazy to think that this is the longest conversation we’ve ever had.

Our drinks were done at the counter after a few minutes. I grab both and hands his coffee. He takes it, fingers brush against mine.

“I’ll see you again, soon?”

“Yeah. See you again, y/n.”

He smiles and raises the cup of coffee thanking me again. I nod and quickly turns my face towards the floor hiding the warmth that's rising to my cheeks. With one last wave, I walk towards the door to leave.

“Wait!”

A surge of relief going through my body. Somehow I was hoping it wouldn't just end there.

“Do you have time to sit with me?” he asks.

I hold my wrist up and check the time on my watch. My shift is not starting until 40 minutes anyways. How long can it be to sit and talk with Jamie?

“If that’s okay,” a little hint of pleading in his voice.

“Yes, of course."

____

We sit across each other at a table near the big window. His long legs brush against mine from time to time. Now that I'm actually closer to him than before, I can see his blue eyes sparkling even brighter under the sunlight streaming through the window pane. He's a little quiet at first. His fingers knotted with each other around his warm cup of coffee. It's almost as if he's wondering what to talk about. Eventually, he tries to ask me more about myself. Trying to set aside the sudden surprise of actually sitting with a new person on my day, I let myself cool down and let the conversations flow on their own. His eyes wide, yet soft as he looks at me attentively every time I tell him little things about myself. I just thought it was just out of politeness but I notice that he's actually listening to me when he chuckles and nods along to my stories. It's like every word that came out of my mouth hung around the air and he's just absorbing them all in.

"You know it's very interesting to finally hear all about the teacher's favourite in class," a teasing tone in his voice.

“Oh, stop. But you know, I've wanted to talk to you in class for a while as well."

“Is that why you’ve been staring at me?” he smirks and takes a sip of his coffee.

My heart does a somersault. He noticed that?

“Oh… I uh,” my cheeks starting to feel a little warm.

He winks.

“So what brings you to the class anyway,” my attempt at changing the subject.

“Oh, umm…” Jamie purses his lips as if he's thinking about the question itself.

"I wanted to try something new in this town. I just moved here and happened to walk by the studio and… well here I am."

“I see. I’m guessing you came all the way here from…”

“London. Yes. The accent, I know,” he laughs. Hand brushing through his beautiful locks.

“I just needed a change. What about you?”

“Oh I’ve lived here for a while. Two years now. Trying to prove to my parents that I can be independent, you know?” I tell him, quickly brushing the question off.

He nods. “You’re working?”

“Yeah. Do you know Bookworm Shack? It’s a block away from here. In fact, I should be getting into my shift in like 15 minutes now.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve seen it. Come on, I’ll drive you,” drinking the last bit of his coffee before he gets up.

I didn’t have time to process it. I haven’t sat in a car alone with a man for so long. Not since-

“You’re coming?” his head tilts towards me and scanning my eyes, hoping for a hint of agreement to his plan.

“I guess, there's no harm in that. Thank you."

“The least I could do for that coffee,” he gives a friendly punch to my upper arm and grinning ear to ear. Every bit of his face lights up when he does it. It feels nice to see him in a more cheerful mood than usual.

I'm not one to know much about cars. Truthfully, all cars look the same to me. If anyone would name a model of a car, no image would pop in my head at all. However, I am able to tell when a car is luxurious and expensive. Jamie's car is exactly that. At least better than the one I drove back in my hometown. It was an old car that my dad gave me after he finally saved up enough for a new one for his own. It was a little beat up but I loved it just the same. It didn't have the leg rooms as I have right now sitting in Jamie's car though. I know it wasn't the best car but it took me where I needed to and it was comfortable enough for me. Looking up at Jamie from the passenger's seat makes me feel a little shy. What do you do when someone told you to make yourself comfortable? Do they actually mean it or do they just want to be polite? Maybe I'll just play it safe and tuck my feet together and not mess with anything in here.

"Relax. The leather seat is not gonna bite you," he snickers after noticing me shifting carefully in my seat.

"Yeah, but you might," quickly giving him the same retort energy.

"Wow. Hurtful. Although, you'll never know. Hope you already got your rabid shot."

His face stays on the road but his eyes peering sideways towards me while smirking at his own joke. A giggle start escaping from my mouth and he finally lets out a big heartful laugh I've ever heard from him.

I feel myself being a lot more relaxed in my seat after that. We continue our conversations along the ride but it was cut short when Jamie pulls over in front of the bookstore. A little disappointment in my heart when I realized that I have to say goodbye to him now.

As I’m getting out of the car, he asks, “What time your shift ends?”

“6 pm. Why?” I respond back through the passenger’s seat window.

“Sounds like a good time for dinner. I’ll pick you up,” he winks again and drives away.

“Wait, I-“ Oh there’s no use. He’s gone.

_____

Chapter 2

Note: Hi! I'm new on here and I'm sharing my writing for the first time on the internet and thought that it'd be nice to start on here. I don't know if this will take off or not but I'm excited for everyone to read it. Do let me know your thoughts and reblog if you like it. If it starts picking up then I will continue posting the next chapter :)

[elvenbeard]

2077, April

"You really think I can make it, survive this?"

"'Course you can. I mean, you did already die and come back once, didn't ya?"

The chance of a lifetime the Konpeki Plaza Heist should have been turned Vince's existence into a living nightmare. Going from "just living, day by day" to "sheer survival, at all costs" in the manner of moments and following a row of bad decisions made by everyone involved, this was now definitely his last chance to get his life back on the right track. A second chance, after so many other second chances he'd already botched... while the one who would've really deserved another shot was now gone from Vince's life forever.

Jackie, the one person he had never regretted to trust in, who had never let him down, helped him out of the greatest messes, wouldn't be at his side through his biggest challenge so far. Vince would often lie awake at night wondering "What if he'd just kept the damn biochip? Would he be here now, instead of me? Why am I still here when he'd deserved it so much more?"

But then again... Jackie wouldn't have deserved Johnny Silverhand, Vince's newly acquired brain parasite from days long gone, unwanted voice of unreason, and perpetual threat to his mere existence.

Vince was dying, losing himself, little by little, day by day, after it had taken him ten long years to get to a point of self-acceptance and recognizing his strengths, desires, what he truly wanted from life. It was the cruelest irony of fate imaginable.

Misty's words accompanied him through his darkest moments: as long as your heart's still beating, there is hope.

Vince never wanted to be a legend... but for Jackie's sake, he'd make sure everyone would remember their names. He'd survive this, get rid of the Relic, of the terrorist in his brain, and make it out alive. No matter the cost.

Vince through the years (7/9)

A handful of before and after screenshots this time:

Some slight colour adjustments, and a little Relic-like glitch effect like it happens to Johnny whenever he's visible!

Also these two didn't make it to the final set, but I still really love the flying sparks effect :O These are completely vanilla, done in vanilla Photomode without path tracing. There's a lot of particle effects going on at Afterlife that render very interestingly sometimes (I think only since the graphics update though, since pics in Photomode take a moment to render, creating this motion blur/ long exposure effect). Sometimes this a bit annoying when you want to go for a relatively clean shot, but these looked really kinda cool for once xD

I've also been playing around a lot with a free filter plugin (search for GMIC) for Photoshop that has some really nice glitch effects, chromatic abberation, amongst many many many others :o If you don't know it and use Photoshop (although I think there are versions for other programs available as well!), I can definitely recommend it!

Now, to what I wrote above the cut, briefly. This is a relatively short post compared to all others in the series cause it's obviously the one aligning with what canonically happens in game and there's no need to retell all that in great detail xD What I wanted to focus on though was Vince's shift of mind between pre-Heist and post-Heist.

Before the heist, when Dex asks him what he wants, a quiet life or a blaze of glory, Vince is internally leaning more to a quiet life. Assuming though that that's not what Dex would wanna hear, probably, he deflects, gives him no clear answer. But yes, after having to run away from home, struggling on the street, busting his ass for Arasaka and barely making it out of all of that alive, had it not been for Jackie, he has no intentions of just throwing all his growth and progress away by blowing himself up in some daredevil endeavour. He's reached a point where he genuinely likes himself, his body, his life, and while he's not perfect, still in recovery from his time at Arasaka, and has done messed up things to get here, he would've been content with just small-time, low-risk merc work for the years to come.

With Jackie gone though, who has been a constant guidance over the last 10 years, with everything that rains down on Vince during the post-Konpeki shitstorm, I think this would change. He's being told "you're gonna lose yourself, forget who you are", "the body you literally shaped after your own wishes will soon be Johnny's", whom he cannot stand, no one wants to work with him initially after such a legendary failure, he has "a few weeks, at most" left to live... fuck all that, so hard. He's gonna fight tooth and nail to make it out of it alive, forget the quiet life.

He's gonna make sure as hell that, if all ends up being in vain, people will remember him and that he didn't settle for the easy way out. If he has to die, he'll do so standing - maybe scared, but head held high. Cause everything else would be a disservice to how far both he and Jackie have come together, to who he is at his core: a rebellious kid who once rather would've taken on a whole Valentino gang on his own instead of calling his corpo mother for help, someone who quit his secure job because he refused to keep taking the abuse from his boss, who risked his life for his best friend despite sending himself down a spiral of despair in the aftermath. He's not scared of getting his hands dirty, of forging his own path (alone, if need be), and of taking risks if he thinks they're worth it for himself or the people he's loyal to.

[communistsister]

Diary of a Strange Land

I’ve been rereading Ikoku Nikki again, an ongoing manga series written by Yamashita Tomoko (who you may perhaps know as the original writer of recent anime adaptation of the supernatural BL series The Night Beyond The Tricornered Window). It’s one of my favourite manga, largely due to the art and very considered, introspective writing, but also because I just empathise with one of the two protagonists a lot.

Some thematic if not literal spoilers will follow.

One of the two protagonists, 35 year old novelist Makio Koudai is wonderfully written; she’s awkward, somewhere on the neurodiverse spectrum, struggles to be around people and prefers solitude; she forgets things, hates phonecalls, struggles to clean up after herself; and she has a tendency to monologue on deep dives into the meaning of words, the uniqueness of everyone’s own feelings, and how it’s okay to hate your family. Much of the plot is her learning to live with her 15-year-old recently orphaned niece, Asa, who she adopts at the start of the series.

Generally though... she’s a rare kind of protagonist that I don’t really see written much, and is also directly relatable for basically everything I wrote above. I see myself in Makio a lot. I also think it’s easy to read her as trans; the author’s background in creating Boys’ Love manga means she tends to draw women with quite androgynous-to-masculine face shapes, and some imagery and subtext has cropped up so far through the series that can be read as supporting Makio as trans. She has at least one close nonbinary friend who she can joke about their junk with; she quickly clocks a supporting character as a teenage lesbian struggling with her identity; childhood flashbacks of Makio’s terrible relationship with her sister often show her in masculine clothing with short hair. It’s not textual but it’s an easy read for me.

As both an author and a neurotic person who largely overthinks things and lives inside her own head, Makio does display a lot of emotional intelligence throughout the series; but it’s generally a very analytical display of it that I feel an affinity with. She struggles with direct emotional outbursts, and sometimes fails to read how others feel until it’s said out loud; she explicitly says she struggles guessing people’s thoughts and emotions. But when able to take a step back and describe an emotion or situation in a more literate way, she expresses a real understanding of the nuances of a lot of difficult emotions, like waxing lyrical on the expression of grief when her niece Asa is thinking about her recently deceased parents, by discussing the use of tense in both english and japanese:

Makio’s a good protagonist to co-centre the story around; Ikoku Nikki deals with the obvious themes of grief that come from having an orphaned character, but keeps going into some other less familiar areas. Whether your parents love you; how and when it’s acceptable to be angry; being unable to relate to others’ feelings; breaking up with a partner because they feel too perfect and you feel undeserving of love; the struggle and loneliness of writing & creating art. Makio often takes a teaching role in chapters about these topics, conveying wordy thoughts to Asa as the latter struggles through processing grief & growing up through school. Makio’s own past is told through often-abstract flashbacks rather than spelled out, but it’s clear from how she acts in the present day that she’s developed a sort of detached, almost disassociative maturity around being a person, and her advice to Asa usually comes across as pained sympathy instead of lecturing. Coupled with a small cast of similarly well-rounded supporting characters and their own internal and external emotional dialogues, Ikoku Nikki both starts strongly and grows over its chapters to be a really thoughtful story about sets of complex emotions. In case you can’t tell from me writing a long post about it, I really recommend it, as a relatively uncommon example of manga with a well-fleshed-out adult cast dealing with the low, relatable stakes of trying to be happy.