#and this already took up my whole fking day

[emilyomily]

I was having such a good week and then THIS fucking happens and blows paranoia up to fking 999999

[koiiiji]

hiii! i really love your windbreaker scenarios😭❤️ can i request a hyuk kwon scenarios with friends to lovers trope, if you don't mind? thank you so much!!!

AHHH U READING MY THOUGHTS! i had it in my drafts, but already posted!! so here like a short scenario in same timeline, just take it as what happened in gaps here

author note ; seminar week in uni hits hard, but random tequila shots with flatmates in the middle of the week hits harder.... but don't worry i played through and won this fking hangover and dropping this post now😌🫦

warnings ; fluff, cute hyeok, not proofed

(bro is the type of guy who will show off a trick on his bike he hasn't trained enough yet and end up falling)

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friday evening started out great - all the lectures were over, the weather was beautiful outside, the sun had not yet disappeared behind the horizon and was giving the city its last rays. this week you didn’t miss a single lecture, and in general today you were quite active in class, you also agreed with your classmates to meet next week to complete a group project, so your socially active duty for today has been completed and you can calmly relax on weekend.

entering cozy apartment, you set down your bag and kicked off shoes, ready to delve into usual routine of household chores. you took a slow shower, completed all the steps in the skin care routine and now you wanted to start that series that you had been putting off for a long time when you heard a soft knock sounded at the door, interrupting your thoughts. curious, you opened the door to find Kwon standing there, with his usual calm and relaxed face. his presence caught you off guard a little, your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. "hey..." he began, his voice a gentle murmur. "i was wondering if you'd like to go to that shop near our building with me. i wanted that banana drink you recommend me recently... and i thought you spent whole day in uni, so we could take a little walk together... you know to catch some fresh air and stuff..." your initial surprise quickly gave way to excitement, as your lips curling into a grin. despite his usual reserved demeanor, Kwon's offer filled you with pleasant a sense of warmth, joy and anticipation. "sure, i’d love to," you replied, grabbing a jacket and slipping on her shoes.

together, you ventured out into the cool evening air of Seoul, the streets alive with the hustle and bustle of city life. As you walked side by side, you couldn't help but steal glances at Hyeok, marveling at the way his stoic facade softened in the glow of the streetlights. small conversation about everything flowed effortlessly as you made your way to the shop, sharing stories and laughter along the way. but little did you know that Kwon had something else up his sleeve, a secret he was eager to reveal. of course you notice bike he took with him, but you genuinely thought he was so obsessed with these races and bicycles that he just wouldn't get off his bike.

upon reaching an empty playground nestled within a quiet corner of the neighborhood, Kwon's eyes twinkled with mischief as he hopped on his bicycle, a gleam of excitement dancing in his gaze. "watch this," he murmured, his voice tinged with excitement as he prepared to demonstrate a new trick he had been practicing. however, fate had other plans in store, and as he attempted to execute the trick, a misstep caused him to lose his balance, sending him tumbling to the ground with a muffled thud. your heart felt like it skipped a beat as you rushed to his side, concern etched across your features. ignoring the pain coursing through his knee, Hyeok tried to brush off the accident with some kind of incomprehensible emotion. but you saw through his facade, your heart aching at the sight of him in distress. without a moment's hesitation, you took charge, guiding him to a nearby bench and inspecting his injury with gentle hands. rummaging through your bag, you retrieved a pack of cute adhesive bandages adorned with playful images of bananas, a small smile tugging at your lips. with utmost care, you cleaned his wound and carefully applied the bandages, your touch felt so tender that Hyeok could feel goosebumps down his spine.

in that vulnerable moment, when he saw you on your knees before him as you tended to his injury with unwavering kindness, Kwon felt a surge of emotions wash over him, his heart swelling with a newfound warmth. as he looked into your eyes, he realized with startling clarity that what he felt for you already went beyond mere friendship.

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[krabjoons]

omg professor... what are you doing?!?!?! [pjm]

⮕ summary: park jimin is the hottest, most popular guy at school. the only catch? he also just so happens to be your teacher.

⮕ pairing: park jimin x reader, mentions of jaebum x reader

⮕ genre: smut, university!au, pwp

⮕ word count: 12.8k

⮕ rating: 18+, nsfw

⮕ warnings: hard dom!jimin x bratty-ish sub!y/n, professor!jimin x university student! y/n (he’s 27-28 ish and she’s 21-22), fuckboy!jaebum, pussy eating, fingering, thigh riding, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), dirty talk (carries the whole fic tbh), degradation, edging, dumbification, impact play (pussy + ass spanking), manhandling, humiliation, exhibitionism, creampie, teasing, praise, orgasm denial, begging, overstimulation, crying, kissing/making out, jimin’s a meanie but y/n likes it (aka i go ham on the degradation and edging you have been warned), aftercare (like 500 words of it :P)

⮕ a/n: this took too long to come out and has literally been sitting in my drafts since august but here it is! writing this was definitely a rollercoaster because this was my first smut and honestly i felt like it was really bad at times but other times i was like wtf this is so hot,, ANYWAYS, i’m glad that i’m posting it and getting over that fear of imperfection. i hope that you guys enjoy this piece :). i would also like to add that please don’t hook up with your teachers… if you do, that’s on you i take no responsibility for that whatsoever lol. excuse the title i literally have no idea what to change it to but i like it the way it is tbh LMFAOOO OK I’LL STOP RAMBLING NOW BYEEE ILY ALL

University has never been when you’ve expected. When you first graduated high school and came here, you expected your late teenage years to be filled with just as much studying as high school combined with only a few parties here and there. You didn’t expect to make as many friends as you did and certainly did not expect to be known as the girl with the high grades and even higher alcohol tolerance. No longer are you the shy Y/N L/N that walked through the entrance gates on the first day of school; you’ve changed a lot.

It was a surprise to you. With academics taking precedence much of your life, the freedom university provided you with was welcomed - perhaps a little too much. You quickly learned that polar bear shots were great to keep you in a good mood at parties and that eating mangoes before smoking gave you a better high. And, you also learned about sex.

Admittedly, the first time you had a hookup, it was awkward and messy (at least for you… it was a guy, what else were you expecting?) but with more practice, you were able to get the hang of it. You’ve found your tastes and now willingly talk about who catches your eye to your best friends, something you never thought you’d do last year. 

Speaking of who catches your eye, as of now it’s Park Jimin. A really hot guy, according to your friends, and according to you, an even better voice. When you first walked into your Applications of Economics class, you nearly spit out your Starbucks drink after you saw the astonishingly handsome man with silky black hair in a dress shirt and tie. Surprisingly formal for a university student, you thought, but you weren’t one to talk, considering your current outfit of business casual.

Only, he wasn’t a student. He was your teacher. You should’ve put the pieces together earlier but you didn’t. Let's just say a Coconut Lime Refresher is good for hangovers, and you needed one desperately (basically, you were drunk as hell the night before and were still in the process of recovering). It certainly didn’t take long before all of campus was talking about the new economics professor who was hotter than hell. Girls (and some guys) immediately tried transferring into his class, one of them being your best friend Lisa, just to get a glimpse of how attractive he was. You remember a couple of girls offering you literal cash to transfer out, but you didn’t.

A good call, thinking about it now. You’ve gotten closer with Mr. Park, although it’s nothing too special yet, the two of you are on good terms and have even hugged before (you still get giddy thinking about it). Y/N from 2 years ago would be screaming her head off at how bold you’ve gotten, but now, you can’t bring yourself to care. Park Jimin is a hot guy, and you’re pretty hot too (if you must admit), so it would only be logical if the two of you could hook up. Unsurprisingly, you’ve lost your shame, nothing but thoughts of your teacher filling your mind in your spare time. 

So here you are, another day of university, as monotonous as ever. The only highlight of your day will be the morning, where you have a class with Mr. Park. You've started changing your style a bit recently, opting for more, let’s just leave it at provocative outfits. Walking into the room, you take your usual seat in the front, closest to Mr. Park’s desk. 

The class progresses like it normally does, starting with a review of the work from the last class and a discussion about the new material. "I’m going to give you guys this last half hour of class to review the material individually if you want or you can leave early, I don’t mind. I know it's a Friday so there’s gonna be some parties around campus, if you want to prepare yourselves for that then go ahead." Your professor glances around the room, smirking at you when mentioning the parties. You flush and look away, biting your lower lip. 

You make the decision to stay in the classroom while the majority of the other students file out of the room. "I'll be available for any questions," Jimin calls out, returning to his desk across from you.

Sticking to your reputation, you get a head start on the assignment and easily work through the homework. Surprisingly, you forget about Jimin for the time being, focused on finishing your assignment so that you have as little work as possible to do after classes. You don’t notice your teacher looking at you, admiring the way you put so much effort into the things you’re passionate about. Hearing a student call his name, he gets up to help him. 

Surprisingly, Mr. Park has assigned a disturbingly low amount of homework, probably because of the upcoming weekend and maybe a pop quiz later next week (ugh). You’ve finished your work in a mere twenty minutes and are surprised to find that Jimin is not at his desk when you look up from your laptop. You turn around, looking for him, and see that he’s helping another student. Whipping out your phone, you text your best friend Lisa (who just so conveniently, also thirsts over Jimin the same way you do).

to lisa: hey i finished classwork for mr park and have like 10 minutes of free time now lol

Instantly, she responds as if she wasn’t in class. Then again, she has never been one to pay too much attention to her professors. 

from lisa: ayo talk to him 

from lisa: also save me from bio i literally cannot

Smiling slightly, you respond to her.

to lisa: i WOULD but he’s helping other students

from lisa: then be like "m- mister park, i- need help please" and use puppy eyes 

to lisa: LMFAOO PLEASE he’d be like whats wrong with you since when did you struggle in this class

to lisa: but i mean, anything to hear him talk i guess 

from lisa: god i'm so jealous you have him early so you can hear his morning voice it must be hot asf

to lisa: it is omg

from lisa: god what if he moans like that it'd be such a turn on

to lisa: dUDE STOP NO the way this is literally true like if he has a good sip of coffee or a pastry he likes hes gonna go all "mmmm I wish you could try this" pls its so fking hot

to lisa: like SIR I WANNA TRY YOU or you to try me no complaints

from lisa: wtf he finishes his breakfast before my class so i can't even hear it tf I hate it here

to lisa: u have him right after my block bro at leAST you have him 

to lisa: what ab the people who don't even have him

from lisa: idk what i'd do honestly. imagine not having a literal sex god teaching you every day i pity those who dont

You’re about to type out a response when a smooth voice sounds out from behind you, "alright guys, you’re good to go. Have a good weekend!" You jump in your seat, not realizing that your teacher was helping the student right behind you for the past five minutes. 

As the rest of the class begins to pack up, you pray that he hasn’t seen you talking about your sexual fantasies less than five feet away from him. Mr. Park doesn’t say anything, so you must be in the clear, right? You’re hoping and praying that he didn’t find out, but your heart rate is already rising and you’re getting a sick feeling in your stomach. Your gut must be trying to tell you something.

Well, your gut’s telling you that the universe must not be on your side because as soon as you stand up, he says, "Ms. L/N, can you stay a bit after class? I have a few things I want to discuss with you." Cheeks flushing hot, you squeak out a "yes, sir."

When everyone has left and it’s just the two of you left in the room, Jimin pulls up a seat next to his desk. "Sit," he commands, leaning on his desk. You scramble to your feet and walk over, mind buzzing with thoughts. Oh god, what if he tells the administration department? Then you’d definitely be punished and maybe even kicked out of the school. Maybe you could make up a story? Oh, it’s ANOTHER Park Jimin, haha. Definitely NOT my teacher. Even if you did, they could go the rest of the texts between you and Lisa and you’d be screwed. And not to be petty or anything, but being kicked out would mean that you wouldn’t be able to be in Jimin’s class anymore and wouldn’t be able to see him. Oh, and the bigger problem would be that you’d also be unable to get your degree.

You start internally panicking, heart rate picking up even when your teacher rolls up his sleeves and leans down in front of you. Stop thinking about dirty things FOR ONCE, Y/N, half of you screams, while the other half of you has already started fantasizing about things which shouldn’t be thought about, especially with one of the people in the fantasies less than a couple of feet in front of you. With his hands on his thighs, the ones you’ve thought about riding far too often, he smirks.

"So, I heard you wanna try me?"

You gulp, absolutely mortified that Jimin caught you. Yes, he was attractive, and you would do practically anything to fuck him, but you didn’t expect to be humiliated into admitting it. "Um, no sir! I mean, maybe, but not in the way you think!" you ramble. Shut up, Y/N, part of you screams. You’re only digging yourself into a deeper hole.

"Yeah, sure. Because I definitely didn’t see what you were talking about with your friend. Be honest, Y/N," he says, smirking down at you. "You think about me, don't you? I'm not new to this. I see the way girls like you look at me. I know the way they talk about me when they think I can't hear. I know the way you think. Who would've thought? Little Miss L/N, all prim and proper on the outside, would be so filthy deep down?"

"Sir, I- uh. I-" you stutter out, cheeks burning furiously hot.

"You what? You're not going to try to prove your innocence now, are you? Not when you've gotten this far, hm? Getting to do what you’ve wanted after all this time?" he asks, standing up from his desk, and walking over to you, kneeling in front of you so that you were forced to hold eye contact. 

"You know, nobody else has been as daring as you, my dear," he hums softly. "Sending promiscuous texts about their teacher in the very class they're in. Rubbing their thighs together every time their teacher catches their eye." You shift in your seat, Jimin's words sparking the slightest of fires in your core. "Gazing ever so obviously at said teacher’s dick, too. Y/N, you amaze me. So, so brilliant. yet so, so naughty. You thought that nobody else would catch onto you? Unfortunately, you thought wrong."

"I'm s- sorry sir," you whisper out.

"You're just sorry that you got caught, Y/N. You'll keep doing this even after today," Jimin chuckles lowly. "Possibly even more after today," he adds on, taking note of how his words have affected you. Your pupils are dilated and your cheeks are starting to get flushed. "Such a dirty girl. I'm here trying to scold you, and here you are, getting turned on by my words. Is this why you ask so many questions, doll? To hear my voice?"

You bite your lip in a mixture of embarrassment and nervousness, nodding imperceptibly. The logical, studious side of you is thinking, oh my god, is this really happening? Am I going to fuck my teacher? I really shouldn’t be doing this. The relaxed, easygoing side of you (pretty much your horny side) is thinking, finally, it’s happening. I’m going to FINALLY be fucking Park Jimin.

"What else have you imagined about my voice, hm? How I'd whisper into your ear while pounding into you? Hear me moan as your tight cunt clenches around my dick? Tell you how good you're making me feel? Reminding you how much of a slut you are to fuck your teacher in the middle of his classroom, where anyone could walk in?" he continues, seeing you shift in your seat more. "Would you like that?" he asks.

"Y- yes Mr. Park. I- I would," you whisper. You have to consciously clench your thighs together to keep them from spreading at his words.

"Hm, I don't believe you. Try again another time, darling," he sighs, leaning back on his knees, getting ready to stand up. You don't want this, whatever it is, to be over that quickly so you make up your mind. Swallowing your pride and succumbing to the dull throb in your panties, you pout.

"But professor, I really do want you. I want you to make me feel good and I wanna make you feel good. Please," you whine out. "I wanna be thinking about you all the time because you fucked me so well in class. And when my friends talk about wanting to get in your pants, I want to be the only one who already has. Please, Mr. Park. I need you." you breathe out. At this point, the pressure in your core is rising steadily, and only intensifies when you see the way your teacher's eyes are glazed over in lust and eyebrows are furrowed. Your eyes travel down the expanse of his face to his lips, plump and pink. Oh, the number of times you've wished to kiss them, imagined them suckling on your clit. And now that Jimin knows, perhaps it's finally coming true. 

"You'd like that, hm? God, you're so dirty," Jimin mutters, inching closer to you, cautiously placing a hand on your knee. Your legs instantly part to make room for him in between and he inches forward. "Does dirty talk really turn you on that much, Y/N? I can smell you through your panties," he remarks.

"Mr. Park, please do something," you whimper. And with that, Jimin pulls you over to his desk and sits you on the edge. You spread your legs and he stands in between them. He leans his head closer to you until he's next to your ear.

"Want me to get you off with my words? You seem to like that already and I haven't even tried, doll. Or perhaps," he pauses, bunching up your skirt so that it pools at your waist. "You want me to touch you?"

You nod eagerly, chest heaving in anticipation. "I want both Mr. Park. I want you," you purr salaciously. And with that, your teacher lets out a low growl and presses his lips onto yours harshly. It’s already bruising, but you just can’t get enough of the way he tastes of caramel and coffee and how ridiculously soft his lips are, so you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in even closer. He seems a little put off by how eager you are, but once he hears you sigh in enjoyment, he melts into your eager grasp. 

His hands start sliding down your waist so that they are resting on your upper thighs, and he rubs comforting circles into them, trailing them closer and closer to your panties. He breaks off from the kiss to look down and smirks back at you before joining his lips to yours with even more fervor and you praise yourself for deciding to wear your lace thong today. You feel his tongue slide against your lips, asking for permission to enter and your mouth immediately complies. 

The feeling of his hot breath on your lips and thumbs rubbing against the juncture of your thighs has you feeling needy for more. Jimin swirls the tip of his tongue against yours, the filthy action turning you on even more. You moan into his mouth and thread your fingers through his hair, causing him to let out a low groan.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the two of you break apart. Chest heaving up and down, you take note of your teacher's face. His lips are redder and plumper than ever before. His cheeks have the faintest blush on them. His eyes, the ones that crinkle into a happy smile whenever you answer a question correctly in class, are now clouded over with deep lust.

"Get onto all fours. On the desk," Jimin commands, and you immediately comply. Now your ass is facing Jimin and you're very nearly completely exposed to him, save the thong you're wearing.

"God, you're such a slut," Jimin moans out at the sight. "Do you get dressed up like this just so you can get fucked in class? Such a short fucking skirt that I can see whatever you're wearing underneath whenever you bend over, hm? You wanted me to give in to you, doll?" When you nod weakly, he chuckles, "I don't think so."

Arching your back so your ass sticks out even more, you whine, "professor, please fuck me. I'm so fucking horny, please." Jimin cups your pussy from outside your panties and leans over you, "I don't think so, kitten. I'm the one calling the shots here." Your pussy flutters in response and Jimin slaps it lightly, chuckling. The brief stimulation has your cunt clenching around nothing.

He spreads your knees slightly and begins trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses up your thighs to the arch of your back. Feeling his breath so close to your core has you getting wetter by the minute in anticipation. He finally hovers over your back, placing a soft kiss on your shoulder, muttering, "I'm going to wreck you, Y/N", and you feel yourself clench in excitement. 

"Then do it," you whisper, and Jimin hooks his fingers around the waistband of your thong and pulls it down, so slow that it's almost painful, exposing your heat to the cool air of the classroom and causing you to shiver in response. 

You don't see it, but his eyes widen seeing the strings of your slick connecting your pussy to your panties. He takes a look at your core and his mouth starts watering. You're soaking and clenching around nothing, thighs shaking ever so slightly in anticipation.

He flattens his tongue and licks a flat stripe up your pussy, from your clit to your entrance. He pauses to suck some of your juices from it, but your cunt just keeps leaking them out. He runs his tongues through your folds over and over again until you let out a wanton moan.

Encouraged by your reaction, he hooks his arms around the side of your hips, nuzzling closer into your pussy. He laps at your cunt and purposely avoids your clit, only heightening the pressure in your core.

"Mr. Park," you whine out, pushing your hips back. "Please. More," you pant out. Suddenly, Jimin spanks your right ass cheek, rubbing his hand over the fleshy globe soothingly afterward. You let out a little yelp and turn around to catch his eyes. 

"More what?" he spits out, smiling at you evilly. "My little slut's gotta tell me what she wants. How else would I give it to her?" your mind is foggy, pleasure causing you to lose track of everything other than the man behind you. "W- want you," you garble out, "t- to play with my clit too." 

"What's the magic word, doll?" Jimin teases, breath fanning over your slit, causing your walls to clench erratically. "Please, Mr. Park," you whine, pushing your cunt closer to his face. He smirks at you, avoiding your advances. 

"Good girl," he praises before finally positioning himself just barely in front of your clit. You feel him blow cool air onto your slit, but the temperature of it is magnified even more due to how wet you are. You whine out, expressing your displeasure, and Jimin finally indulges you by taking your throbbing button between his plush lips.

"F- fuck, sir, yes! Right there, please," you squeal, back arching even more. Jimin hums, the vibrations sending waves of pleasure through your body. You can feel yourself growing wetter, your entrance squeezing out more and more of your arousal down to where Jimin's lips are sucking. He momentarily pauses to flatten his tongue out, letting your juices drip onto them and slurping them up eagerly. The obscene noises behind you combined with the low thrum of student life just outside the classroom door mesh together to have you realize where exactly the two of you are doing this.

You glance at the clock, and your eyes widen. "Prof- oh my god, Pr- Professor Park," you moan out, trying to keep your focus. Jimin again hums, making you jolt in pleasure. "I- uh, there’s only ten minutes until the next block of classes start. I need t- to leave in around five." When Jimin releases from you with a pop, you can feel your slick running down your thighs and some dripping onto his desk. You feel a rush of excitement at the thought of everyone walking in during class to see the mess Jimin made of you on his desk and again squeeze around nothing.

"Well then," Jimin hums lazily, "guess you better cum within five minutes if you want to cum at all." He dives back into your heat, tongue skillfully running through your folds. He cycles between kitten licking and delivering harsh sucks to your clit and dipping his tongue into your entrance. You grind against his face in desperation to reach your release, and just when you finally feel it hurtling towards you at an alarming rate, suddenly, Jimin gets up.

He leans over you, trailing a hand up your slick-ridden thigh to cup your bare heat and mutters lowly in your ear, "time’s up." Your heart drops in frustration, and you whine out. Grinding into his palm, you beg for him to touch you once again, knowing nothing but how good he was making you feel just seconds ago. "Mr. P- Park, please. Make me cum," you cry out.

Jimin spanks your pussy, a wet echo sounding through the room. You jolt forward and your cunt leaks out even more of your arousal in response to the combination of pain and pleasure. "I said no," he hisses, "you couldn't cum in time, you don't deserve to cum." 

"God, look at you, you're a mess. Bent over and spread out so desperately for me. You taste so sweet, doll. So responsive, too," Jimin murmurs, lazily rubbing your slit. He's, once again, avoiding your clit and driving you insane. Your sensitive nub is now swollen and throbbing with need, slick with your arousal. 

"Has anyone touched you as well as I do, Y/N?" he asks. When you shake your head, he slaps your cunt again, another wet sound echoing through the room. "Words, baby girl," he goads, fingers dancing through your folds. 

"N- no, sir. they can’t make me feel half as good as you did. I’ve al- I’ve always been thinking about having you touch m- my cunt and making me cum really hard. and I- shit I’m so needy sir, I wanna cum," you garble out, tears pricking the corner of your eyes. You feel Jimin’s hand leave your pussy, exposing your soaked heat to the cool air of the room. Slowly, he pulls your thong up your thighs and the light touches make you clench in desperation and whine out.

He marvels at the sight of you so fucked out in front of him. The way his top student was falling apart at the slightest touches he gave you. And the words you said. God, to have you say such filthy things in comparison to your gentle demeanor, all because of him, it really did something to him.

Jimin finishes clothing you and presses a kiss to the top of your ass and walks across the room to get some tissues to clean up the mess you made. Still perched on the desk, you watch him needily, thighs rubbing together to relieve some of the pressure from being denied your orgasm. "So I really don’t get to cum?" You ask meekly, holding back a sob. "I need to cum, Mr. Park."

He chuckles, "there’s a difference between need and want, doll. You want to cum, you don't need to cum. But what you do need," he returns to you, leaning down so that his face is right in front of yours, "is to get to your next class." Your face, once eagerly lit up in anticipation, has now fallen in disappointment.

Rolling your eyes, you huff out a "fine" and get off his desk, feeling your arousal make your thighs stick together. Your panties are uncomfortably damp and you’re so wet you can even smell yourself. "Can you make me cum later?" you question Jimin, sliding closer to him and playing with his tie, praying that he’ll be the one to make you release instead of having to do it yourself when you get home.

"If you play nice I might. If not, then… we’ll see," he hums, handing you a tissue to clean yourself up while heading to wipe down his desk. "I have a lunch meeting in the second half of the lunch block, so if you really need me, I’ll be here before then." 

You grin and nod in excitement. "Cool! so I’ll-" you begin before the first students from the next class start filing in, making you jump. "The door wasn’t locked?" you whisper frantically to him. "We could have been caught, Jimin! Are you crazy?!"

He smirks at you, "didn’t you say you wanted it that way? Where anyone could walk in? I only did what you asked, doll." You’re left speechless as he continues. "Anyways, you should be in your next class pretty soon. I’ll write a note to your professor just in case you’re late. But get going, yeah? I’ll see you in time for our meeting." He hands you a slip of paper and straightens up, tossing the dirty tissues into the trash can in the corner of the room. 

"Okay class, we’re going to get started soon. I presume you all did the reading, so just prepare for the discussion we’re going to be having about it when the bell rings," he calls out to the class. Turning to face you, he questions quietly with genuine concern, "you okay? Did I push you too much for our first time?" 

Your mind swirls with thoughts. Our first time. The words fill you with giddy excitement. It’s just the two of you that know about this, the dirty things you were doing just minutes ago, very nearly getting caught. Knowing that this won’t be the only moment you guys are doing this, fills you with excitement.

"On the contrary, actually," you tease your teacher with a smile. "It was really nice honestly, but perhaps, you didn’t do enough." You bite your lip at the way Jimin's eyes darken and he looks away. "Get to class, Ms. L/N. The bell will ring any minute," he says lowly, jaw slightly clenched. Your core throbs at the sight and you head towards the door. 

"Goodbye, Mr. Park. Thank you!" you call out, catching sight of Lisa, who raises her eyebrows at you teasingly and mouths text me. Blushing, you nod at her before leaving the room to go to your next class.

Being "one of the smartest students on campus" comes with its perks. Like right now, for example. You always (somehow) come to class overprepared, so when your next teacher gives you a day to work on your project (which you've already finished), you head to the back of the room to text Lisa in private. 

from lisa: dude wtf was that you were literally talking to Mr. Park outside of ur class time with him

from lisa: omg wait don't tell me you fucked him

from lisa: did you

to lisa: NO I DID NOT OMG I wish tho lmao

to lisa: I was asking him for help on the paper he's assigning us and to proofread it and stuff before I submit it

from lisa: omg I forgot he assigned us that shit

to lisa: dude lmao its due in a week or so you have plenty of time

from lisa: ugh literally he's such a hottie why does he have to be so into teaching

to lisa: sis commitment to something is hot

from lisa: omg ur right wait a sec tho

from lisa: dude

from lisa: omg

from lisa: he definitely has a boner

Knowing that you were likely the cause of it, you shift in your seat cockily, smiling slyly to yourself while looking down.

to lisa: whAT

to lisa: wait how big is it

from lisa: ok I dont think he’s fully hard yet he's like semi hard but barely 

from lisa: LMFAO Y/N don't worry I think he’s packing seems kinda thick too

Taking in a deep breath, you look up at the ceiling. You imagine him slowly sinking into you and making you whimper at his size. Him seeing your face and growling, "if you’re really a good girl, you should be able to take it." You cross your legs tightly and rock up and down in a lame attempt to diminish the rising pressure between your thighs and look back down at your phone.

to lisa: pls thats so hot

from lisa: IKR I want him to r a i l me

to lisa: or eat me out… have you sEEN those lips of his wtf

from lisa: on god do not get me started

to lisa: pls i bet he’d be the type to tease you

Oh Lisa, if only you knew the truth behind those words.

from lisa: YES hes lowkey cocky bc he knows like the entire fucking population simps for him

from lisa: he’s def gonna make you beg to cum

to lisa: pls thats hot do not get me riled up in class istg

from lisa: too late i've already started babe ;)

You continue texting Lisa throughout the entirety of your class. Finally, you look at the clock and seeing that there are only a few more minutes till the class ends, you wrap up your conversation with her.

to lisa: hey btw i’m gonna be coming to lunch late… save me a seat at our regular spot?

from lisa: when ur best friend is a teachers pet :(( fiNE I guess I will

to lisa: love u!! xx

from lisa: love you too nerd xoxo

The bell finally rings, signaling the start of the lunch break and you immediately stand up and walk out the door, bidding your teacher goodbye and thanks.

Running into the bathroom, you do a quick check of your appearance. You tug up your skirt a bit higher and tuck in your shirt so that your outfit accentuates your curves. You glance at your face and notice how abnormally large your pupils are in comparison to most days. Jimin has completely ruined you today, just like he said he would. I'm going to wreck you, Y/N. His words echo in your ears as you make your way out to his classroom. Trying to ignore how uncomfortably wet your panties are, you knock on the door to his room. 

You hear a smooth voice answer with a, "come in," and take a deep breath before opening the door to see Jimin sitting behind his desk, leaning back in his chair with his arms behind his head. He scans you up and down, eyes taking in every inch of your figure. "Nice outfit alterations," he notes, patting his laps as a hint for you to sit on it. You quickly lock the door and make your way to him, placing one leg on each side of him so that you’re now straddling his thighs. "Is this all for me?" he asks and you tuck your head down, suddenly shy now that all his attention is on you again. 

"Mhm, depends on whether you like it or not" you smile timidly, hands reaching out to play with his tie again. He laughs. "Princess, I’m conflicted. You do look very nice, all dolled up for me like this. It’d be a shame if I were to ruin your efforts. But on the other hand," he remarks, "you’ve very nearly crossed the line for indecent exposure. What if another teacher caught you like this? you would get in trouble, hm? And what if it were a student to see you like this? What would they think of you then?" He questions, causing your cheeks to burn at his words.

"They would think I- that I’m a whore. I- and that I dress up like this just so I can pass my classes," you whisper out, biting your lips in a combination of excitement and humiliation. You can feel yourself start to throb again and you start to rut against Jimin’s thighs. He shifts you over so that you are sitting on only one and slightly bounces his leg. The stimulation to your neglected cunt sends a shock running through your body and you squeeze your thighs around his.

"Look at you, so fucking desperate to cum. You think that you aren’t a little whore already, so needy for me this quickly, hm? Do you really think you deserve to cum?" He hums, admiring the way you’re worked up. He pushes up your skirt and slaps your thigh just underneath your ass. You shift away as a reaction, causing your clit to get the stimulation it finally deserved. The way your underwear rubs against your neglected bundle of nerves causes you to let out a groan and drop your head to Jimin's shoulder. He spanks you this time, making you yelp. "I asked you a question, doll."

"Mmhm, yeah," you whine out, "I deserve t- to cum, sir." At this point, your hips are moving on their own accord, shifting back and forth desperately against Jimin's thigh. He grabs your waist tightly, holding you still. "Look at me," he commands, bouncing his thigh. You mewl into his shoulder, the change in motion making you lose focus. He spanks you again, the sound echoing around the room. "Listen to directions, sweetheart. Or else you’ll get punished," he warns.

You lift your head to look at Jimin, faces just inches apart. His eyes scan over your face, lingering on your lips. Slowly, you lean towards him, closing the distance between you two. He gives into your eager kiss and you glide your hands up his firm chest to run your fingers through his hair. He starts bouncing you on his thigh and you groan into his mouth. Breaking apart panting, you place your forehead against Jimin’s, moving your hips back and forth harder to increase the pressure going to your clit.

"God, Y/N, you’re so wet," Jimin pants while looking down at the way your clothed pussy drags over his thigh. "I can feel you soaking through my slacks," he says, shifting you over. just like he said, there is now a wet spot on his thigh from where you just were. Thankfully, it’s barely noticeable, but if you focus enough, you can see it.

"What are you going to do about it, hm? I have classes to teach, meetings to attend. Do you want people to see the mess you made all over me?" He hisses, spanking you to elicit an answer. "N- no, sir. I’m s- sorry," you whisper out, eyes clenched, still rutting against him. You feel your orgasm bubbling up as every second passes.

"I don't think you're sorry, doll. Look at you making a mess all over me through your panties. You're absolutely soaked, so fucking desperate to cum," he tuts, clenching his thigh muscles purposely. You gasp and shove your head into the crook of Jimin's neck, letting out a low groan.

"Mr. Park, I'm so wet because of you. I- god, I wanna cum. please. I'm so close," you mewl into him, legs starting to tighten around his thigh.

You shut your eyes, feeling your impending orgasm build up. Right when you're about to let go, Jimin holds your hips in place tightly, preventing you from moving. Squeaking out, you make an attempt to shift your pussy over his thighs. It's no use because you can feel it start to drift away slowly and you look at him in need. Tears stinging the corners of your eyes, you plead, "S- sir I need you to touch me again. Please."

"Well, since you asked so nicely," Jimin smiles cockily, lifting you onto his desk and spreading your legs after stripping you of your panties. You lean back so that you face the ceiling. Your eyes roll back once you feel him take your clit into his mouth. You moan and arch your back off of the desk, thighs involuntarily clenching around his head. 

"God, Mr. Park, yes! O- oh, fuck, please," you blabber out incoherently, your mind hazy and overwhelmed with pleasure. "More," you whimper out without thinking.

Jimin disconnects from your heat to look up at you, murmuring, "Greedy little slut wants it all, huh? Won't even ask nicely for it. Tell me what you want, Y/N. Beg for it, and I might just give it to you."

"God, I- I want it all, professor," you call out, wiggling your hips in search of stimulation that never comes. "Want you to stuff me with your f- fingers and lick my p- pussy and make me cum. Want you to fuck me r- raw with your fat cock from behind and sp- and spank me. Want you to ma- make me cry from cumming so hard just as much as you have from not letting me cum. A- and I want you to leave hi- hickies on my thighs so that if I bend over, p- people are gonna know how much of a cockslut I am, just for you."

"Yeah? Well, I can tell you this," Jimin says, fingers dancing up your thigh closer to your sick-ridden core. "You are a cockslut. So fucking dirty. Most people come to class to learn but it seems that you come here to get off." He inserts a finger into you and your walls immediately clamp down on it. He moves the digit in and out of you smoothly, your arousal allowing the smoothest of motions. "You like that, baby? Finally having something in that tight cunt of yours?" You nod at his question, adding on "want more, sir."

"Not enough? Greedy little bitch. look at you, so needy. What are you gonna do when I have my cock out, hm?" He shoves a second finger into you and starts curling them into your heat. You arch your back to the ceiling and he hovers over you. For a moment, there’s nothing but the squelch of his fingers in your wet pussy and your panting as he stares into your eyes. Jimin's eyebrows are furrowed and he’s biting his lip - he’s focusing on something.

That "something" becomes apparent when, all of a sudden, you nearly sit upright and let out a loud moan of pleasure, "Fuck, Mr. Park! right there." His fingers continue rubbing that special spot inside you repeatedly and your legs start shaking ever so slightly. You look back at him to see a smug smile on his face. "I found it," he chuckles as you writhe underneath him. He leans down to kiss you, lips melding together.

He keeps fingering you, bringing his thumb up to ghost over your clit ever so slightly to provide enough pleasure to bring you close to your orgasm but just not enough to make you cum. You whine against his lips and he breaks the kiss, asking "you want to cum, doll?" to which you weakly nod. "Then fuck yourself on my fingers. Show me how much of a little slut you are for me. How you’re a cocksleeve for me, so wet and needy as soon as I touch you, so ready for me to fuck you." He stills his digits inside of you and you buck your hips on them, rolling your pelvis repeatedly in an attempt to get to your orgasm. You reach down to provide some stimulation to your clit, but he smacks it away.

"Jim- professor, it’s not enough. I- I need more, please." Tears start welling up in your eyes at the thought of not cumming for the third time. Jimin kisses your temple, the gentle action reminding you that he’s not going to do something you can’t handle. "Please, Mr. Park. I wanna cum," you whine out, hips jerking back and forth in a pathetic attempt to chase after your high.

"Show me then, Y/N. how much you want it. A good girl can show me that she wants it bad enough and will make herself come on my fingers alone. She’s not greedy. She doesn’t need to touch herself too. She just needs my fingers to cum. I know you can be a good girl,  Y/N," he goads. "Can you show me what the pretty little face of yours looks like when you cum? I bet you’ll look so beautiful, even more than you are right now, all fucked out for me."

"Hhngh, sir I- I’m trying," you pant out. "It’s just not enough. I promise I'm a good girl, I swear. Please let me cum. Oh god, I wanna cum." At this point, you’re nearly crying. You haven't ever been edged like this and are desperate for release.

Jimin sees this and purposefully retracts his hand from your cunt covered in your honeyed juices, glistening in the lights of his classroom. "Professor Park, please," you choke out weakly, chest constricting in disappointment. With a soft smile, he brings his fingers up to his mouth and cleans them off, savoring the flavor of you. 

"Be a good girl for the rest of the day and then I’ll let you cum, baby," he hums. "You promise?" you plead, holding onto his arm desperately. 

"I promise, Y/N," he kisses you gently and you taste the remnants of yourself on his tongue, the filthy action causing your clit to throb even more. Combined with the way your cunt is still clenched tight in preparation for an orgasm that won’t come soon, you can definitely say that you can't wait for the school day to come to an end.

"Go to lunch, doll. I have a meeting soon. Don’t think of me too much, hm? Gotta keep those straight A’s the way they are," Jimin teases, pulling down your skirt slowly, fingers just grazing your thighs. He grabs your panties. "Oh, and I think I'll keep these for now," he says cheekily, putting them in his pocket. "They didn’t seem to be doing their job when you were riding my thigh."

You watch him in shock, cheeks flushing red hot. "I- okay. uh, I’m going to lunch now, Jimin. Have a good lunch and meeting, I guess?" you say awkwardly, shuffling to the door with him, tugging your skirt down. 

"Jimin? We’re on a first-name basis already, Y/N? Don’t let anybody hear you call me that in class, baby," he winks, holding the door open and you nod, preoccupied with the little "situation" your skirt just barely hides. You can feel yourself still leaking down your inner thighs, and pray that nobody’s going to notice when you walk into the dining hall.

"Ugh! Bitch, what took you so long?" Lisa exclaims when you sit down next to her with your lunch. You pout. "I wasn't even gone for that long."

"Ha! That long, my ass. You were gone for more than half of the break! I had to tell Jaebum and his cronies to fuck off on my own! I’m not as intimidating when you’re not around, though, so I don’t think it worked. They’ll probably come over again soon." Lisa rolls her eyes. You snort, "One of them probably likes you, that’s why they keep bothering you."

"They just like any female and will take what they can get," Lisa mutters, "but anyway! How was your meeting with Mr. Park? Did you solve his boner problem?" she wiggles her eyebrows.

You clear your throat. "No, Lisa I did not. I'm obviously above that," you say in a sarcastic tone. "I simply offered to," you tease. Lisa squeals and slaps your arm in response. "But for real though," she says. "Anyone that gets to hook up with mister Park Jimin automatically wins at life," and you hum in agreement.

You scan at the dining hall around you and catch the eye of Jaebum sitting with his friend group. He winks at you and you roll your eyes and stand up, "come on Lisa, let’s go. Those assholes are going to come over any second if we stay here any longer." You drag her to your guys’ next class.

The bell rings and the two of you burst out of the classroom. Thank god that’s over. Only one more class left, you think to yourself, gripping your books tighter to your chest in excitement.

"Jesus fuck, since when were you this eager to get to the last class of the day, Y/N? I thought you loved staying in school for as long as possible," Lisa huffs out. You steer her into the direction of your locker, right across from Jimin’s classroom. 

"I'm picking up my books, you dummy. Be grateful I paid for this locker because otherwise, you wouldn’t be able to put your books here." You put in the code and exchange your books while Lisa checks herself in the magnetic mirror attached to the door. you have to be careful when bending over because otherwise you’ll flash the entire school, so you do a weird sit-squat thing. "Geeking out over lockers? You act as if you’re still in high school, Y/N," Lisa teases. "Only during the school day," you wink up at her.

Lisa spots someone through the reflection of the mirror and groans out. "Incoming," she warns, rolling her eyes and turning around. "Wha-" you begin when you get cut off by a smooth voice behind you.

"Damn, L/N. didn’t know you wore skirts this short on campus. Looks good on you," the guy winks. "But it would look even better on my bedroom floor." You hold back a gag and turn to Lisa, raising your eyebrows in exasperation. 

"Wow, I see the originality," Lisa says in the most sickeningly sweet voice. "What do you want, Jaebum?" He chuckles and places an arm over your head, leaning over you. "Well, I’m having a party tonight, and it would be amazing if you two little ladies could attend. Be mine and Jackson’s plus one?" he says. You’re about to say no when he leans in closer to you, inches away from your face, "plus you can get the high-quality drinks for free, not the cheap booze we leave out for the randos who show up."

"You’re probably gonna drug them or something. No thanks, dickwad." you huff out after a second’s hesitation, pushing him away, ready to go to your next class. "Nah, baby. I may be a fuckboy but at least I've got morals. Whaddya say? You get me off, I get you off? Maybe make you cum so many times it starts hurting? You look like you haven’t been able to get an orgasm in a while, you’re so uptight, L/N," Jaebum smirks. 

"You fuckin-" you start to hiss out but you’re shut off again. This time it’s by someone different. Jimin. "Mr. Lim, I don’t think it’s necessarily appropriate to discuss your sexual endeavors while in an academic setting. I’ll be letting you off with a warning for now." He turns to you, eyes flitting across your DIY skimpy outfit. You feel your cunt leak more of your honeyed juices under his piercing gaze and clamp your thighs together to keep them from dripping down your thighs. "And Ms. L/N, I expected better from you. You’re not typically one to do these things in a school environment. Get to class, the two of you," he says, turning back to his classroom.

"Oh," he adds, "and Y/N. fix your outfit. I would hate to see you get dress coded by a teacher who isn’t as lenient." You, Lisa, and Jaebum stare at his back in shock as he heads inside his classroom. 

"Well, uh, that just happened," Lisa states, turning to you. "Ready to go?" you nod numbly, mind swirling with embarrassment and excitement as you tug down your skirt. The two of you walk to the last class of the day while Jaebum calls out, "my place after 11, L/N! I’ll be waiting!", making you wince. Great, now a bunch of people are gonna think you’re hooking up with him.

The last bell of the day finally rings, and you head to your locker after bidding Lisa goodbye. You put your books in your locker and head to the bathroom to fix your clothes. You decide to tease Jimin even more by adjusting your skirt so that it ends just at the bottom of your ass. It’s a terribly risky decision; if you walk too fast, you risk flashing everyone. You’ve tried to wipe the slick off the juncture of your thighs, but it keeps getting replaced with more of your arousal.

You speed walk down the halls and fling open the door to see that Jimin isn’t in his classroom - or so you think. Once you take a few steps into the room, you hear the door shut behind you and lock. Jimin looks at you up and down. "You didn’t fix your outfit, Ms. L/N. Looks like I’ll have to dress code you for indecent exposure then," he hums, heading to his desk to take out a slip of paper.

"Wait Jimin, what? I thought we were- um. You know, going to-" you splutter out, realizing he was actually serious. You can’t have this on your academic record! What would your parents think?

"Going to what? Fuck? Seems like you already have someone else for that, Y/N," he shakes his head, grabbing a pen. You reach forward quickly to stop him, hand, gripping his forearm in desperation. 

"No Mr. Park, I- I never told Jaebum yes. I just-" you try to explain, but Jimin cuts you off. "You what?" he asks bitingly, taking you by surprise. "Did you think that you could just come back and hop on my dick after nearly making out with another guy? God, you really are a slut, aren’t you?"

You rub your thighs together, trying to relieve some of the steadily mounting pressure in your core at Jimin’s words. "Look at you, I told you to fix your outfit and you fucking pulled up your skirt. You pulled it up. You don’t listen to me, talk to your friends about how much you want me to rail you, and yet let other guys make plans to hook up with you. And you expect me to let you cum after all of that?" he continues, noticing the effect he has on you. "You really think I should let you cum, Y/N? I'll tell you what I think. I think I should leave you like this, dripping and needy for me. So ready to get fucked by me but not being able to."

Your eyes widen, "no, please professor, no!" 

"Should I jack off in front of you and not let you touch me? Maybe then would you learn your lesson? Or maybe I should spank your ass till it’s blue you’re unable to sit. Would that work, hm? What if I just send you back to the dorms? You could ask Jaebum to touch you, even if he can’t make you half the mess I can," he continues, pushing you onto his desk. He grabs your jaw and tilts your head up, forcing you to look at him, humiliated, with tears in your eyes.

"Aw," he pouts sarcastically, "is the baby crying? Because I didn’t let her cum? Well, princess, you knew what you were getting yourself into. Little cocksluts like you don’t deserve to cum so easily."

"P- professor, please. You can punish me. Teach me a lesson. B- but just please let me cum." You whimper out, attempting to cross your legs together to assuage your aching clit, but Jimin stops you by holding your knee with his other hand.

He slowly trails his hands up your bare thigh, admiring the way your soft skin seems to get chills at his touch. He pushes you back onto the desk and you prop yourself up your elbows to look at him. "Are you a cockslut, Y/N?" he asks, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his trousers. 

"Y- yes Mr. Park. I- I’m nothing but a hole for you to fuck," you whimper meekly as he pushes up your skirt. He pushes apart your thighs and tugs you to the edge of the desk. "Damn right you are. Nothing but a little whore that I can use to get off. I’m going to fuck you here in school like you’ve never been fucked before. And this dick you’ve been thinking about all this time, it’s going to finally be in you, and I better not hear any complaints," Jimin growls, pumping his length in his hand. "No sir," you whimper out.

"You on the pill?" he asks, to which you reply with a yes. He teases your slit with the pink head of his cock and your entrance flutters at the touch. "But on another note, tell me if you want to stop. I don’t want to push you too much."

You smile, "Jimin, you’re being too kind. I promise I'll tell you. But I did say before perhaps you weren’t doing enough. Mr. Park, I want you to ruin me," you bite your lips, mimicking his words from earlier in the day. He cocks his head in amusement. 

"Don’t worry princess, that’s exactly what I’ll be doing." Without warning, he thrusts forward into your heart, barely giving you time to adjust to his size. The girth of his cock stretches open your cunt with painful pleasure. Once he’s sheathed inside you, you can feel him very near your cervix. 

You let out a shaky breath but it’s cut off as he continues thrusting in and out of you, wet slaps echoing through the room. "M- Mr. Park-" you moan incoherently. 

"Fucking take it, Y/N. You wanted me to ruin you? Well here I am doing it; be fucking grateful." he rolls his hips into yours, hands gripping your sides harshly.

"Th- thank you Mr. Park, s- so much," you nearly sob out, almost crying at the relief of being fucked. You’re so turned on that your walls are clenching around Jimin’s dick so hard that he grips your jaw harshly. Gritting his teeth, he spits, "loosen up, babe. You’re so fuckin’ tight." You whine and try to relax but the stimulation Jimin’s providing has your eyes rolling back instead.

He snakes a hand down to your stomach and under your skirt, circling your throbbing clit. Your pussy flutters at the stimulation and you bite your lip harshly. He changes his angle slightly, causing your thighs to start shaking. His precum and your honeyed juices drip out your sopping cunt, the sound of wet slaps echoing around the room.

"Mmmmh," you moan out softly, back arching slightly. You can feel Jimin hitting your g-spot with impeccable accuracy each time. Doubled with the way his thumb is rubbing circles on your sensitive clit, you feel yourself reaching your orgasm. You try to suppress the giveaway signs of your impending release, knowing that Jimin, in order to "teach you a lesson" of sorts, is likely to take it away from you, so you attempt to just breathe out, "Jimin, fuck, it feels so good."

"Yeah, you like that, baby?" he thrusts into you deeper and harder and you bite your upper lip to stop your moans from slipping out. "Come on Y/N, let me hear those pretty little moans. Let everyone else know how well I'm fucking you, how good I make you feel," Jimin urges.

As soon as he utters those words, you give in, letting high pitched whimpers spill from your lips. Your pussy lets out filthy squelching noises at each of his thrusts, your wetness dripping down your ass and onto the desk. You feel your walls tightening around his cock and try to fight it off, but Jimin can already tell of your impending orgasm. He pulls out of you, leaving your warm and soaked cunt open to the air.

"Fuck," you exclaim in frustration, bringing your hands up to cover your face so Jimin doesn’t see your face, tears starting to spill down your face. It’s frustrating you so much that he won’t let you cum. That he enjoys seeing you whimpering and teary-eyed for him. Your thighs haven’t stopped shaking and Jimin parts them after you close them. He pulls down your arms and smiles evilly. 

"Well, what do we have here," he exclaims, "looks like the baby finally did start crying. Come on, Y/N, I thought you had it in you. But look at how you’re spread out on this desk for me, such a fucking mess. I bet you like it, huh? Dirtying up my desk with that cunt of yours."

"I need to cum, Mr. Park," you choke out, trying to gather your thoughts. "I need to cum now." your teacher’s eyes narrow and he grips your thighs harshly. "What did you say to me?" he asks, a tone laced with dangerous amusement. 

"You heard me. I-," you hesitate for a moment, but decide you’ve already put yourself through enough teasing today. You muster up your courage before saying, "I want you to make me cum now." 

There’s a moment’s silence before you add on shamelessly, "o- or if it’s too much to ask of you, I- I’ll just find someone else to help me do it. Maybe Jaebum? He promised a good time a- and said he would let me cum as many times as I want."

Jimin grabs you by the chin and pulls you up. "You’re such a fucking brat, Y/N." Shifting his hand so it’s gripping your throat, he mutters, "you don’t fucking learn, do you? I thought you were smart, hm? But has the need for sex made you lose your sense? Made you turn into a dumb little bitch, ready to bend over for anyone because you’re so horny? And here I was thinking you were better than that. That you had standards. Perhaps I was wrong, hm? Would you like to tell me?"

You try to look down, away from his piercing glare, but he turns your chin to look back at him. Humiliation courses through your veins as Jimin’s gaze wanders down your body scathingly. "Look at you," he coos sarcastically. "Y/N, baby, you’re such a fucking mess. Pathetic." Suddenly, he lifts you off the desk and bends you over it, cheek pressing the top and ass exposed over the edge to him. You whimper at the feeling of your shirt being stickied from your arousal left on the table from just a few minutes ago. You try moving away from it, but Jimin holds you in place. 

"Are you afraid that everyone else is going to see the mess on your shirt, Y/N? Is that why you’re trying to move?" he hovers over you from behind. "Or perhaps," he continues, hot breath tickling over the shell of your ear, "you want to continue being a brat. Make me punish you until you’re begging for me to make it stop."

He spanks you, the sound echoing across the room before you register the sting of his action. You clench involuntarily and let out the slightest of whimpers. "Fucking hell, are you this turned on? Making noises even if I don’t touch your filthy little pussy?" he asks, smacking your behind again. You bite down on your lip to avoid giving him the answer he already knows.

"Count for me. Be good and maybe I’ll finally let you cum." he commands, spanking your right ass cheek again. "O- one!" you groan. He spanks your left side, the stinging sensation causing you to leak more arousal. "Louder, Y/N. Let me hear you," he hisses, hand in your hair, and pulls you up slightly. "T- two," you stammer. another slap echoes across the room. "Three! God Mr. Park, please." At this point, you’re not even sure what you’re begging for; your mind is numb with lust.

"T- twenty! Agh, fuck, please," you squirm under Jimins grasp. The throbbing of your clit has increased tenfold, and you can practically feel the shaking of your thighs through the desk. 

Jimin slips his hand between your legs, feeling the soft flesh of your inner thighs slicked with your juices. "You’re fucking dripping, Y/N. Look at you. Did getting punished turn you on this much, doll?" He swipes up your slit, teasing your fluttering hole. You scrunch your eyes in displeasure and try to back up into him, only to be stopped by a harsh smack onto your already throbbing cunt. You yelp and flop back on the desk, cheek pressing the surface.

You feel him rubbing his dick against your folds and sigh in relief. Suddenly, Jimin slams into you from behind with no warning causing you to let out a harsh groan. "Ah, professor!" you exclaim, balling your fists in pleasure at finally being stimulated. His cock seems even bigger from this angle, and your entrance stings delectably at the way he splits you open.

"You feel how tight your pussy is, princess? How tight it is for me? Nobody else makes you feel this needy. Nobody," Jimin mutters in your ear after pulling you up. He pulls your head back by your hair, exposing your neck, which he plants wet kisses on. He reaches down in front of you, tracing an achingly slow path from your stomach to your slit with his fingers. You’re reaching your orgasm at an embarrassingly fast rate due to all of the edging you’re been through, so when Jimin finally brushes over your clit, it’s no surprise that your walls tighten even more instantaneously.

"Ji- ‘m gonna cum," you moan wantonly. "Yeah? Is my little slut finally going to cum?" He hisses out at the way you tighten around him. You nod desperately, gripping his arm rubbing figure eights over your sensitive bud. 

"Oh god, Jimin, I feel it coming. Please please please let me cum. I'm being good for you, Mr. Park, please let me cum," you sob out incoherently as Jimin continues railing you from behind. You feel the ridges of his cock brushing your walls and shudder at his ministrations.

"Let go, princess, I got you. Cum for me. Tell me how good I’m making you feel," Jimin snarls, snapping his hips into yours, eager to get you to finally melt in his arms. You feel your orgasm crashing over you and you clamp down on his dick, legs shaking in relief. Jimin's grip on your hair tightens as he feels you pulsing around him, getting impossibly tight. Nevertheless, he continues thrusting into you. 

You mewl, trying to shift away from Jimin's hold as his fingers return to your clit, rubbing figure eights into them, "J- too m- much," you whimper out, straining against his arms.

"Yeah?" his smooth voice asks, "but I thought you wanted to cum, princess? Didn't you? I need to cum, Mr. Park. I need to cum now." He mocks you. “Well, that's what I'm doing doll. I'm. Making. You. Cum," he emphasizes each word with a harsh thrust, jolting you forward.

You're being reduced to a mess, tears streaming down your face and slick dripping down your thighs. You can feel your gummy walls tightening more and more on their own accord, without even trying. Without even realizing it, you've changed from trying to move away from Jimin's fingers to grinding down on his dick.

Jimin, however, notices this. "God, you're such a slut, Y/N. Weren't you just asking me to stop?" He raises your left leg onto the desk, allowing him to have more access to your folds. He slaps your clit when you don’t give a response and you yelp, clenching down on his dick. He slaps you a couple more times, and your cunt drips even more, making your thighs sticky with your honeyed juices. You can feel yourself nearing your orgasm once again from his motions.  

Suddenly, Jimin pushes you back on his desk and begins hammering into you from behind. "You're going to cum again, aren't you? Filthy little girl, didn't you just cum? Are you really that needy for some dick?" You try to hold back a whimper from his words but it slips from your lips. "You're really a whore, aren't you, baby?" 

In response, Jimin spanks you, and you yelp. "Keep doing that," he hisses when you clench down on his dick. "You like being punished, don't you?" You nod meekly in response. He smacks your already reddened ass again and you hiss at the stinging sensation. Paired with the pleasure his cock is giving you, thrusting so deep into you, you can feel yourself practically getting high off the feeling.

Jimin feels you cumming before you realize it yourself. His hips nearly stutter at the way your walls have clenched around his dick. He opts to rut his hips into yours, no longer being able to thrust in and out due to how tight you are. He reaches under your body to rub tight circles on your throbbing clit and you start cumming again, clenching erratically around his dick. "You cumming, Y/N? Be a good girl and let go for me. Get this fat cock all wet," he commands. You ball up your fists and dig your nails into your palms, pleasure coursing through your veins. Riding the course of your high, you wish for nothing more but to be in the moment. 

When you come down from your orgasm, Jimin finally pulls his hard dick out of you. You feel his precum and your cum drip down your thighs. Whining, you rub them together to get rid of the feeling but it only serves to make you stickier. Jimin parts your thighs and runs a hand up them to cup your pussy, pausing to feel your cunt still clenching from the aftershocks of your orgasm. He smacks your abused heat, jolting you forwards and causing you to grit your teeth in overstimulation. 

He flips you over, spreading your legs open. He leans over you, rubbing the tip of his dick over your swollen and throbbing clit, making you shiver. "Prof- professor, I can’t-" you begin but are interrupted my Jimin quickly shoving into you. Gasping, you clench down onto his dick, eyes rolling back into your head.

"You can, Y/N, and you fucking will," he grunts harshly, snapping his hips into yours. You grasp at his arm after feeling him in you deeper than before. The head of his cock nearly kisses your cervix and his impossibly hard dick stretches your tight cunt open even more, making you wince at the pleasurable pain.

"I- oh god, I really can’t. It feels-" you choke out through your tears. "It feels too- oh!" your head rolls back as Jimin hooks your legs over his shoulders, creating a new angle of penetration. He rubs your clit ever so slightly, the abused bundle of nerves pulsing under his touch. "It feels too what?" he hisses, rolling his hips upward so that his tip just barely grazes your g-spot. Too good, you want to say, but pleasure is clouding your mind and you can’t get the words out.

"That’s it, baby," he hums, "taking my fat cock so well even though you’re so- shit, you’re so fucking tight. Are you gonna cum again, hm? Cream all over my dick and make another mess?" you’re being reduced to a blathering mess, Jimin’s name rolling off the tip of your tongue. "Yeah? Can’t even hold it back a little? Even though I let you cum so many times, you still want more? Greedy little bitch," he spits at you.

When you clench down at his words, he starts pistoning his hips into yours, the sound of his balls slapping against your ass echoing around the room. His cock seems to be splitting you open even more, and you can feel every pulse of his dick on your walls. "Fuck, Y/N. I’m going to cum," he groans.

"I- I’m close too, Mr. Park. It- fuck, it feels really good," you breathe out as Jimin leans down over you. He slows his hips down, opting to roll his hips smoothly and brushing over your g-spot with painful accuracy. Hovering over you, his stare bores into yours, eyes flitting down to your lips, reddened and swollen from you biting them. You whimper and tilt your chin up towards him and he leans his head down to yours.

He lets his lips ghost over yours, warm breath brushing over your lips as his hips grind into yours. "P- please," you beg, and Jimin finally relents and melds his lips to yours, bringing the two of you into a searing kiss, groaning as you near each of your highs. You break the kiss to gasp out, "I’m c- cumming again Mr. Park."

"Yeah?" he breathes surprisedly, "your little pussy’s that sensitive that you’re gonna- fuck, you’re cumming already? So quickly?" he leans down as your orgasm washes over you, this one hitting you slowly and harshly. You arch your back into Jimin’s chest, hands gripping at the collar of his shirt. His thumb continues to gently rub over your clit, causing you to roll your eyes back into your head at the overstimulation. You start shaking underneath him, squirming to get away from the overload of senses, but he holds you in place as you ride your high for what seems to be like an eternity.

"That's a good girl," he soothes as you continue to writhe underneath him. "Look at you, stuffed so full of my cock it’s making you cry. Does that feel good, darling?" you nod, sobbing. When your orgasm starts to fade away, spots of white dotting your vision, he still doesn’t stop thrusting into you. 

You bite your lip, and seeing that he’s close, you whisper, "M- Mr. Park, I want you t- to cum too. I- in me." His hips stutter at your words. "Shit, yeah? You’d let me do that?" 

You nod, "want you to fill me up w- with your cum and s- stuff me so full of it that it’s gonna be in me for days. And I wanna fe- fuck, I wanna feel you in me even when I’m alone, professor." At your words, Jimin lets out a slightly animalistic growl and leans in. "You’d like that, huh?" he asks. "Me fucking you so well till you can’t think straight? Putting my cum in you so that when you walk out of here, it’s dripping down your pretty little thighs, making you look like the filthy little slut you really are? You think you deserve that?"

"Please, sir, I really want it," you beg, "please." With that, Jimin attaches his lips onto yours again, grinding his hips into yours even deeper as he finally orgasms. He doesn’t stutter his hips as he continues his ministrations, even though he can feel your walls desperately squeezing around him, milking his cock of its seed. You feel the thick ropes of his warm cum painting your inner walls every second. Each time he pulls out slightly, a bit of it leaks out of your cunt, dripping down your ass onto his desk. He continues fucking his cum into you until he’s satisfied with the way you’re shivering under him.

For a moment, all is still, nothing but the sound of the two of your breathing filling the air as you stare into each other’s eyes. "Um-," you begin, and Jimin quickly looks away, brushing his thumb over his plump lips. So that just happened. I fucked my teacher. I fucked Park Jimin.

"Wait here," he mutters, making your heart drop in disappointment. You nod, offering him a weak smile. Seeing this, Jimin reassures you, "don’t worry, I’m not leaving you. I’ll be right back," and cautiously steps out of the room after clothing himself.

You take this moment to recollect what exactly happened. Okay, so you just fucked your teacher. It still hasn’t sunk in yet, and probably won’t till you leave to clean yourself and look at the marks he’s made on your thighs and ass. You can’t help the giddiness you feel, like a kid who got the best candy bar in the world. After all, you got to hook up with your crush - in fact, the entire campus’s crush. The door creaks open and Jimin returns with some paper towels and wipes.

"H- hey," he smiles nervously. For the first time, he’s the one that’s stuttering. "Let me clean you up. It’s the least I could do after putting you through so much today." He spreads your legs gently, cheeks flushed, and begins wiping off the slick and cum between your thighs. 

"Jimin, you didn’t do anything bad, calm down. Well, I mean you fucked your student? But other than that you’re fine. I really liked it," you try to explain, stumbling over your words. He looks at you incredulously, but shakes his head, smiling. "I don't want to tell anyone about this," you continue, "and I highly doubt you will, so this can stay as our little secret." 

"Well looks like someone got fucked a little too happy. How come you never smile this much when I’m teaching, hm?" Jimin jokes after he finishes cleaning you up, kissing your knee gently. He hands you your thong that he’s kept for half the day and tells you to put it on. 

"You’re still going to the party, right? Jaebum’s?" he asks and you shrug. "You should go. Have a fun time there, drinking and all that stuff." He leans into you, whispering into your ear, "and if that rascal wants to get into your pants, he’s going to see your soaked panties covering up that precious little cunt of yours stuffed with all that cum of mine. Maybe then he’ll finally back off," he smirks.

You blush, "maybe, Mr. Park. You know, you’re pettier than I thought you’d be." Standing up, to face him, he pulls you in by the waist till your chests are touching. You wrap your arms around his neck and he leans in, whispering, "well, Y/N, I don’t think you knew too much about me in the first place." Closing the gap between the two of you, you give him a peck on the lips, which quickly turns into a more heated kiss, lips melding together and tongues colliding. When you break apart, a faint blush on the two of your cheeks, Jimin smiles fondly at you and you look away.

"Well," you hum contentedly, "if I don’t know much about you now, I’d at least like to get to know you better in the future." 

"One day," he breathes out. "One day."

Your grin, disentangling yourself from his arms. "One day soon, I hope. I’ve got to go now, but I’ll see you next class. Goodbye prof- Jimin. Have a great weekend."

He smiles softly, walking you to the door. "You too, Y/N. If you do end up going to that party, have fun. Stay safe."

[raveneira]

I said this already on twitter but I might as well post my thoughts and feelings here too about the new chapter and my feelings towards the sequel as a whole now. Spoiler warning obviously.

Im still gonna wait for the official translation for potential added context but after that yea, Im probably standin by my initial statement that Im done with this sequel. If theres any redemption for it later on I might come back, but as of right now I have zero interest.

This isnt about me hating Kawaki now or disliking where the story is going, its HOW its going there thats the problem, good execution is crucial to good storytelling and this execution is ABYSMAL and has been ever since chapter 57 onwards.

For the record I dont hate Kawaki now, I hate what their doing with him, I hate how his character took a complete 180 for NO good reason, I hate his complete and utter character assassination, I hated this for all my fave characters thus far and he is no different.

I supported and still support Kawaki's mindset 100%, B0ruto NEEDS to die, period, they left him no choice but to do it himself since they wont. But I absolutely do not support or agree with how hes goin about it now because it is beyond OOC from how hes been up till now.

Yes ppl change, and yes we always knew he would become the villain, but not all in one fkin day with minimal to no build up to it. 3 chapters ago he despised and was disgusted by Ada and now hes holdin her hand and workin with her instantly and lying about Narutos status.

I get it, hes probably lyin because saying Naruto is dead instead of sealed will make ppl be more hostile towards B0ruto so they'd kill him for sure but still...him working with Ada of all ppl, someone he himself called scum THE EXACT SAME DAY is INSANELY bad writing.

I get it again, hes obviously manipulating her for whatever hes planning, but wtf does any of this have to do with him hating shinobi later? why would he blow up the village that according to this chapter HE'S STILL TRYING TO PROTECT? it doesnt, fking, add up.

So Im done with it, Im tired of the bullshit writing, the character assassination, the inconsistent story and characters, the lack of care for the OG series and this sequel overall, & the complete lack of focus or direction. Im just tired of it.

I'll still draw fanart and enjoy fandom content and make amvs etc because these are still my favorite characters, I still love them for who they were and are before bein butchered. But whats goin on now? I have no interest anymore. 

Anyone who sticks with this is better than me, I admire your tolerance.

[manonblaqkbeak]

Complicated

Fking finally lol. I’ve had absolutely no motivation to read or write these last few days, but I finally started this last night and finished it now. Here’s Day 15--a bad day, and part 3 of the mini-series i have going for this month.

Part 1  Part 2

cw: none that i can think of, but if theres anything, pls dont hesitate to let me know!

1.5k words

enjoy!! :)

Aelin had been sitting in her car for the last twenty minutes, staring at the motel door. She had no idea what she was going to say to Sam, but she knew she had to say something.

Something like, “I'm sorry that your biological daughter calls another man daddy and papa.” Maybe Aelin should have put a stop to it once Olive had started calling Rowan that, but hearing Olive say daddy in her tiny voice with a wide smile on her face made Aelin's heart flutter, and the sweet look of joy when Rowan heard her say it made Aelin think that it wouldn't be too bad.

She had got caught up in the fantasy of it all, but it was hard not to be sucked down into. She still loved Rowan and they had been dating seriously for the last six months. They had been friends for five months after she saw him at the nursery, and things had been going so damned well. Rowan and Egan had moved into Aelin's place two months ago—the four bedroom house previously owned by Aelin's parents before they moved into a small home—and she got along fantastically with Egan; he had a bit more of an understanding that Aelin wasn't his biological mother, since Rowan still had the photos of Lyria during the pregnancy, and she was determined to never replace Lyria, but when he called her 'ma' or 'Lin', her face would break into a smile so big she thought that it would be a permanent fixture on her face.

Aelin wasn't stupid, however, she knew that people thought that she and Rowan were moving too fast—namely her parents and Aedion, but when she and Rowan talked about the future, it felt solid, like it wasn't just a fanciful notion, but something real that was only a few steps away from being able to hold in her hands.

She had never been with someone that was so loyal to her, someone that cared for her in the way that Rowan did. That looked past her outer beauty and saw Aelin for who she was, and encouraged her to go for what made her happy.

It wasn't always perfect, they had arguments for time to time, but they worked it out, and that had shocked Aelin at first, that Rowan actually wanted to work together to fix the issue, that he actually communicated instead of just letting the arguments fade away. It wasn't like that at all with Chaol, part of the reason why their relationship crashed and burned.

So she hardly thought twice about what it meant to have Olive call Rowan 'daddy', that to Aelin, she was just building a family and a future, but she was starkly reminded that her boyfriend indeed was not her daughters father when Olive called Rowan 'papa' in the middle of the lunch that Sam was invited to at their place and the silence that had descended between the three adults.

Aelin almost choked on the pizza that she was in the middle of inhaling when Olive said that, her daughter sitting on Rowan's lap because she had been fussy and didn't want to sit in her booster seat. Olive and Egan were blissfully unaware of the awkwardness that was emanating from Aelin, the brown haired boy paying attention only to the TV that was playing his favourite cartoon, and Olive had simply wanted more of Rowan's attention.

Aelin glanced at Sam and found that the look in his eyes was utterly unreadable, which was unusual since Sam was easy to read, but for the first time in the years that Aelin knew him, she had no idea how to decipher his expression.

Rowan had opened his mouth, to say what Aelin wasn't sure, when Sam waved him off, and resumed the conversation revolving around the classic car that Rowan was fixing in his rare free time. So Rowan, knowing that it wasn't the right place to have that conversation, continued where he left off before Olive uttered that word that had never felt wrong before but suddenly left Aelin wanting to sink into the floor.

And when Sam had left after lunch, Aelin had decided that temporarily avoiding the topic was the best move, and after helping Rowan clear the table, Aelin had given Olive a quick bath in order to think about anything else.

All Aelin had been able to think about was what if somehow, by letting Olive calling Rowan her dad, she had doomed her daughter into developing daddy issues, that she would grow up confused on how to feel about her biological father when all her life she had called another man dad.

Aelin banged her head against the steering wheel, wondering how a good, decent day had gone to a complicated mess in a matter of hours.

She stayed there for a while, until she realised that she needed to be the adult she was and left the car, knocking loudly on the white motel door.

The door flew open and Aelin was greeted by Sam, a small smile on his face. “I was wondering how long you were going to sit out there for.” Having no idea what to say to that, Aelin stayed silent and went inside when Sam invited her in.

Aelin worried at her lip, and sat at the tiny table by the TV. She truly had no idea what to say.

Sam sat across from her and took her hands in his. Aelin looked up and found nothing but openness in his warm brown eyes. “I'm not mad, if that's what you're thinking.”

Aelin blinked at him. While Sam wasn't a violent man, she wasn't expecting that. “How?” she managed to get out after a moment. “How could you not be mad? Your daughter is calling another man 'papa'.”

“I'm hardly Olive's father, Aelin, I'm aware that I'm not the most active dad, I've seen her only a handful of times since her birth and she's nearly two. It's clear that Rowan loves her, and that she loves him. I actually saw all four of you earlier today, at the park,” Sam added. “I was feeling nervous, like I always do before I see Olive, so I went to the park to have my breakfast. I heard your laugh and I turned, ready to call out to you, when I saw that you were having a picnic and I realised that you already had a family, that Rowan and Egan are your family, and that Rowan is Olive's father in the way that counts, in the way that matters, and that I'm just an intruder in your lives.”

Gripping his hands, Aelin shook her head. “Sam, you can't think like that, you're not an intruder. You're Olive's biological father, you're important.”

“And I'll always be grateful that I had a hand in creating her, but Aelin, I want you to look inside yourself and tell me truthfully, in ten years time, who do you see by your side, Olive's side? Because I know that it isn't me.” And it wasn't, Aelin didn't to look inside herself to know that. She was already thinking deeply about her future long before Sam's visit.

“I want you to know though,” Aelin said abruptly, “that I didn't deliberately set out to have Olive see Rowan as her father, that I did talk about you from time to time, but I-I don't think that she could make the connection that the voice on the end of the phone belongs to you. But I promise that if see ever asks about you, I'll tell her, I won't hide anything from her.”

“I know that you will,” Sam said, “just maybe tell her in a nice way that she's the result of a broken condom.”

Aelin laughed, feeling light for the first time since this whole thing started. “I will. Although I think I'll have to consult Google for that.”

Sam nodded, because even he knew that there were no books that could help with that conversation. “But if she never asks about me, then don't tell her.”

“Sam—”

“If Olive wants to believe for the rest of her life that Rowan is her biological father, then I'm okay with that. I'd rather her be happy than confused. Because when I heard Olive call Rowan 'papa', it felt right, like it made sense. And I know that's how you feel, too. And I know it makes no sense, but Olive somehow just looks like she's Rowan's daughter, you know? And I don't want to get in the way of that.”

Sam was far too nice for his own good. People as kind as him were hard to find. It was a miracle that in this life that she had met two men like that.

Aelin wiped at her eyes, the tears falling suddenly and fast. “How are you so nice when your father is a piece of shit?”

Sam snorted and handed her a tissue. “Years of therapy.” He took a deep breath, and in his brown eyes, the eyes that she had once fallen for so deeply, Aelin saw acceptance. “There's also something else...I was doing some soul searching before you came over, and I...I know that I'm not on the birth certificate and that I don't really have a say—”

“Sam, of course you have a say. Like I said earlier, you're Olive's biological father. You might not be on the birth certificate, but if you have opinions, then you can share them with me, I won't bite your head off.”

Sam gave her a tiny smile. “And I appreciate that, I do. But what I was going to say is this: if ever in the future Rowan wants to adopt Olive, then you and he have my blessing.”

Aelin stared at him for a long moment, letting the words sink in, and then the tears started again and Aelin's body shook with the force of her sobs. Because if Sam's father wasn't Arobynn, then she would have had the family that Sam was wholeheartedly accepting that she had with Rowan. And that he was willing to stand aside to let Olive have the father that she deserved.

Sam came over to her, hugging her to him as Aelin sobbed into his shoulder, running his hand up and down her back. Aelin had never let herself cry like this in front of him, she never really liked crying like that, but she couldn't help herself and couldn't stop herself for a long while. It was a good ten minutes later when the tears slowly subsided and Sam slowly pulled back, giving her a once over with his kind eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Aelin said, loudly blowing her nose with a handful of tissues. “I just...I wasn't sure what I was expecting to happen here tonight. Never did I think that you would offer something like that, Sam.”

“I would be just like Arobynn if I forced you to be unhappy, and I never want to be like him.”

“You're not,” Aelin said, “you'll never be like him. I hope one day, Sam, you'll be able to have a family of your own.”

Sam kissed her cheek, the gesture sending her back to when they were teenagers. “I hope so, too.”

Aelin stayed for a little while longer, just talking and reminiscing about the old times. And when she went home, she kissed him on the cheek, thanked him again, and told him that he would always have a special place in her heart, because without him, she wouldn't have Olive.

Sam repeated the sentiment, and wished her nothing but happiness with Rowan, and that he was glad she found him.

Aelin was glad she found Rowan, too.

X X X X X X

Aelin walked into her house, and was greeted by two ecstatic children, acting like they hadn't seen her for years. Aelin smiled and gave them their hugs that they desperately wanted. She went over to the kitchen counter where Rowan was preparing dinner—grilled cheese, that she knew very well had veggies hidden within, because Egan acted like vegetables were the world's most evil thing to exist—and kissed him on the cheek. He kissed her temple in response, and Aelin breathed in the homely scent of him.

“How did everything go with Sam?” he asked, moving about the kitchen to start the side salad.

“Great, and there's something very important that I have to tell you.” Rowan raised a silver brow, but Aelin kissed his cheek again and promised to tell him later.

X X X X X X

Aelin was more than ready to climb into bed and fall asleep, but she needed to tell Rowan about her conversation with Sam, so when they got settled and comfortable, Aelin told him what her ex-partner said.

Rowan was stunned for a moment, and she hadn't even told him the best part. “Truthfully, I was mentally preparing myself for Sam to punch me in the face after lunch, but to hear what he said to you, I feel like a fool for ever thinking that he would resort to that.”

“If he was more like his father, he definitely would have. But Sam is the polar opposite of Arobynn, and truly wants nothing more than for people to be happy.” Rowan smiled and took Aelin's hand in his, and Aelin relished in the comforting touch. “And there's something else,” Aelin added, and it was ridiculous, but a tiny part of her was nervous, that told her that Rowan wouldn't want Sam's blessing, that he wouldn't want to legally be Olive's father. “Sam told me that if you ever wanted to adopt Olive, then you have his blessing, because he wants nothing more than for Olive to be loved and cared for, and he sees that you're the one that can help provide her with that.”

Rowan looked at Aelin, and her own eyes watered when she saw that his were filling up. “I would be honoured to do that, Aelin. It would make me the happiest man in the world to have that privilege. And after we're married, we can start the process, and maybe one day, when Egan's a little older and he has a better understanding, you can adopt him too, because I know you like him just as much as I love Olive.”

“I do,” Aelin said, choking up. “That would be—” Aelin stopped, her mind finally catching up with what he just said. “Did you just propose to me?”

Rowan cracked a smile and kissed her. He pulled away just so, their noses touching. “Not yet, I haven't found the right ring.”

Aelin laughed joyfully, even as her tears overflowed. “Just to let you know, I'm not helping you out this time. You'll have to figure it out on your own.”

Rowan kissed her again and again. “Don't worry, I've already got a few choices in mind.”

“Good. Make sure its sparkles.”

“I will,” Rowan said, and took her into his arms.

It wasn't too bad of a day, after all.

[kelieah]

going on dates with arvin russell

request (summary): anon: I read one of your head cannons for Arvin the other day and loved it!! Could you do one with a drive-in movie theater where they get a little steamy or another one where they go dancing maybe the reader is shy about dancing and Arvin’s all sweet about it? I just love both date ideas and so much could happen! You don’t have to do either, I know it’s vague but I’m here for just about anything:)

anon: Hey Arvin x reader fluff just going on a date

word count: 1.7k

warnings: fluff fluff luff, lil bit of suggestive content

a/n: ugh the idea of going on a date w arvin fking russell during the 50s? yes pls,, and thank you sm doll! decided to do multiple dates bc yes. also yes i decided to make this a head canon bc im too lazy / busy to write out a whole ass fic, but this is still going to be a long ass head canon so ennnjooooyy i hope ehbejsf

main masterlist | arvin russell masterlist

when you first met arvin you never thought of him as a romantic guy

but oh you were so wrong

so wrong

your first date with arvin was nothing what you’d expect to be

i mean

it’s not like you expected arvin to show up with two cans of beer and a carton of cigarettes 

but you didn’t expect him to go all out either

you remember your first date with that damn boy like it was yesterday

he showed up to your house with a bunch of flowers

you could tell he picked them out from the park or something

but it was the thought that counted and it warmed your heart

god what a sight he was

all doe-eyed

face still mean as hell though

and pretty too of course 

you liked to call him pretty boy and he called you stupid

anyway

his eyebrows were a bit furrowed and knitted together 

but the look in his eye and the small smile on his lips

enough to make any girl swoon

“hey,” he said briefly, pushing out the poor yet lovely flowers in his hands

some were fully bloomed, bright yet dull

some lopping over

some dead

even a little bit of dirt and roots hanging from the end

but you could tell he tried

he tied a bit of woven rope around it all to keep it together

before you could speak he interrupted 

“i– i know girls like flowers. but i couldn’t get you em fancy ones from the store cus. yanno. m’ sorry doll, but this is all i could get,” he held them out again and you gladly took them

“there’s no need to apologize, i love these arvin. thank you,” you smiled and leaned close towards him, kissing his cheek

his cheeks were instantly dusted with pink at your affectionate gesture

“y’ of course. my pleasure. well, uhm. if you’re ready, my car’s parked a bit down the road, cause you said your parents?” he trailed off, glancing behind you.

you nodded and giggled softly

“yea, they usually don’t like it when boys come over. but i don’t give a fuck,” you whispered the last part and sent him a wink

god he loved it when you cursed

he found it kinda hot he told you

he flushed and looked away, chuckling 

“well alright, do you want me to wait in my car?” he stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking back at you

“yep, i’ll be out ina jiffy,” you said, about to turn the other way and put the flowers in a vase

“wait,” he coughed while taking a step forward

“yeah, arvin?” you turned back towards him

“you look real pretty,” he complimented you

it was then your turn to blush

“why thank—” before you said anything he turned around and walked off to your car

you always found him such an interesting fella

you giggled to yourself and retreated back into your home

he first took you on a long drive

which honestly scared you a bit

“you sure you’re not taking me somewhere to kill me?” you muttered and looked around

nothing but trees and road was in sight 

“i think,” he replied blankly, one hand on the wheel while the other was on his thigh casually

you blushed at the sight

you weren’t sure why you found it attractive

but you sure did

“how reassuring,” you teased, catching a smirk beginning to curl at the end of his lips

he eventually found a spot and parked on to a hill, that looked over knockemstiff

the sun was setting and the town was dark

it looked absolutely beautiful

he got out of the car and soon opened your door, holding out his hand

you jokingly froze and looked at him suspiciously

“you sure y’ not gonna kill—”

before you could finish your sentence he pulled your arm towards him, holding you close

you let out a squeal and looked at him with a flushed expression

“no, i’d never. you hear me dumb one?” he cupped the side of your face

you blushed and nodded into his touch

“m’ only teasing. jeez.”

he chuckled and pulled you carefully toward the front of his car

“gimme a minute,” he walked off towards the back of his car

you smiled and leaned against his car, looking out at the stunning scenery in front of you

soon arvin came out with a picnic basket

he’d hear you before the both of you went on a date that you loved picnics

so of course, he had to take you on a picnic

it was so sweet

a basket full of sandwiches, pop, and some cheap snacks he managed to buy

with change, he scrounged all over his room, place, and car

the both of you shared your first kiss that night

“i’d genuinely never met a girl like you,” he murmured, looking down at you as lied across his lap

“well i sure as hell never met a boy like you,” you whispered and looked back up at him

you both leaned closer and closer towards each other’s faces

and then pure

bliss

your lips fit perfectly on his

his floppy hair that was surprisingly not hidden underneath a cap fell onto your face

he held your face so gently and you held onto his shirt like you were going to fall 

you both kissed the night away

he’d never put so much effort into dates before

most of his past dates were sexual, but he didn’t tell you that until later

the more dates you two had, the better they got

now this one date you took him on

you don’t know how you did it

but you managed to get the poor boy to go rollerskating with you

and lord

was it a great laugh for you

as soon as the two of you rolled out into the arena

arvin was wobbling all of the place

you had multiple fits of giggles and laugh

“how the hell!” he grunted and continuously slipped

eventually having to hold onto the railing

“honey, you just glide y’ feet,” you snickered and held his hand

“yeah no shit. it’s like m’ a goddamn baby again learning how to fucking walk,” he muttered frustratingly underneath his breath

“awe you poor poor baby,” you teased and squeezed his hand. “just watch me lover, look at me feet. move with me, ready?” 

he nodded and stared at you closely

you began to move your feet slowly, watching him as he watched you

“yes! see you’re getting there, slowly. yep. wow arvin, didn’t think ya had it in y—”

course

before you could even finish your praise

he let out a loud yelp while slipping, bringing you down in the process

you landed on his chest

he let out a grunt, holding you up before you could hurt yourself more

you both looked at each other in disbelief and burst out in laughter

it was moments like these where the both of you truly enjoyed each other’s presence

some dates were steamier than the other

the two of you were supposed to be watching the movie

while in his car and snacking

but of course y’all couldn’t keep your hands of each of other

his hand was already up your skirt 

caressing your skin

while your tongues pressed against each other

your hand tangled in his hair

you felt his finger brush against your lower area and you gasped in response

yeah you and arvin had made out before

but it’s never gotten farther than that

so lil touches like that surprised you

“oh m’ sorry baby doll. did you not like that?” he pulled his hand away immediately

he cupped your face with his other hand and looked at you with pure concern

you blushed and shook your head 

“no i liked it. i’m just scared, but you can continue. please?” you leaned into his touch

“okay, i got you,” he smirked slightly and pushed his hand back under your skirt

let’s just say

you saw fireworks for the first time that night

and not any typical fireworks

as the weeks went on

you and arvin were inseparable 

everyday was a date and the both of you couldn’t be happier

one day he really surprised you

he got you and him tickets to some dinner and dance

“ain’t no way, you, arvin russell got these,” you looked down at the tickets in your hand

“gee thanks darlin’, but yes. i did get these, for us,” he stuffed his hands in pockets and looked down at the ground sheepishly

you let out a loud squeal that scared the hell out of him

you jumped into his arms and crushed his bones while hugging him

he laughed softly and held you up, spinning you around

honestly, you thought the two of you would just go for the food

for some reason you didn’t think he’d like the dancing

but oh were you wrong

again

“c’ mon beautiful,” he begged and dragged your hand toward the dance floor

“i don’t know about dancing baby, you know me,” you whined and hesitantly followed

“oh yes i do know you y/n. and i know i got you tied around my finger. so you know damn well you’re going to dance with me right now,” he said lowly underneath his breath, leaning close toward your face

his hot breath fanning your skin and sending chills throughout your face

cocky motherfucker

you huffed and glared up at him, “yea i know, i know.”

“okay perfect, follow my lead gorgeous,” he placed his hands around your hips while he brought your arms to snake around his neck

“n-now what?” you said awkwardly, your body still a bit stiff

usually he’d hate to do this in such a crowd but since you were there with him

he felt like it was just you and him

all alone

that’s always how you made him felt 

like it was you and him against the world

“i got you. alright? just move with me, it’s just you and me. don’t focus on nobody but us,” he murmured softly and began to sway

you smiled timidly and swayed along with him

you kept your eyes on your shoes, afraid to step on him

“don’t worry about that, just look at me angel,” he reassured

you sighed and looked back up at him, “mk. since when did you dance?”

“mama taught me when i was a kid, she’d dance with me,” he confessed sheepishly

your eyes softened 

“i love you,” you nuzzled your nose against his

his heart hammered in his chest at those three goddamn words

“shit,” he mumbled as his cheeks burned red

“w- what?” you said a bit panicked, about to pull back

he pulled your body closer and embraced you while pressing his lips against yours

you complied and kissed him back, smiling against his lips

he moved back and placed his forehead against yours, “i love you a lot more, flower.”

and right then and there

you just knew you were the luckiest girl in the world

to be able to be with someone like him

to be able to go on dates like these with arvin russell

taglist + inbox link under the cut! thanks for reading ツ

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[bewareof12metersfrogs]

Warning: long rant. Probably messed up grammar. Not LXC-friendly.

So Pinterest gave me this:

And I was like

Ah yes, Lan Xichen.

I mean, I love that guy, but oh gosh that man is BLIND. Like, man's so blind Xue Yang could use him to slaughter people.

(I'm so sorry for that joke)

I really loved him when I first read the book, esp pre-Nightless City, but then I read it for the second (and third) time and that love turned into "uhh, I guess I kinda like him?"

I mean, in Sunshot Campaign arc, NMJ just got freaking tortured. He just got beaten, made to watch his men die, and his former deputy "betrayed" him -- and then LXC was just like, "oh da-ge CALM down, this is all part of OUR plan, A-Yao's our spy lol put Baxia away don't shout at him smh"

Why didn't LXC say to NMJ that the whole thing had been orchestrated? Okay, I get it, maybe he couldn't risk JGY getting caught, but couldn't he just tell NMJ, "hey, this is the plan. You're gonna get caught at Yangquan by WRH and our spy will take care of the rest of it" ? I'm pretty sure NMJ was angrier about his men getting slaughtered than himself getting beaten. NMJ is kinda like WWX; they were both idiots, but they cared about their people. Pretty sure he cared more about his men than himself. If he knew about the "plan", he'd most likely bring the disciples who were ready to die.

THEN LXC just went to NMJ like, "Hey let's be sworn brothers!". Xichen, dude, his wounds aren't even healed. I mean, it's a bit insensitive right?? I think it is. The whole sworn-brotherhood-right-after-shunshot-campaign thing still bothers me. To me, it seems like no one cared about NMJ. I mean, he was the leader of SC, people used his skills, his men, his everything, and then he was just, like, casted aside?? Pretty sure man's got PTSD. Also, qi deviation. Oh gosh I forgot about qi deviation.

Anyway, yeah, LXC was blind throughout the novel. I won't talk about the scene where Wangxian tried to tell him that A-Yao = bad, but I will talk about the scene where NHS decided to "use" his er-ge to kill his san-ge. Was it intentional? Perhaps. Was NHS lying? Maybe. Was it bad? Absolutely. Was it expected? Of course.

Let's put ourselves in NHS' shoes for a second. Your big bro, who is also the one who raised you and the only family you have left, died. People are quacking "oh it's the Nie curse, and isn't it such a tragedy?" BUT NO! One day you be minding your own business and then BAM you found out that da-ge'd been murdered and mutilated AND betrayed. So you started scheming for like a decade. Everything was going great, as great as a 10 years revenge plan could ever be. You just gotta wait for a few more hours, you just gotta listen to your nemesis' retelling his sad background story, you just gotta endure the pain of seeing your dead big bro wrecking havoc, and you'd have your revenge.

Then of course your er-ge, your big bro's best friend, gotta help your big bro's killer. He just gotta treat his wounds, huh? Pretty sure NHS was unstable. He was desperate and maybe even full of wrath. I understand that, at least, the same way I understand that maybe LXC tried to treat JGY's wounds because he still saw him as his brother -- he didn't want to lose another brother. But how about NHS? He was watching the man whom he thought was his brother treating the man who betrayed and murdered his actual brother. NHS was being a dick, yeah, but it was expected.

Think about this for a second. NMJ's corpse was still right there (and gosh, NHS had to sew his big bro's corpse by himself). NHS was RIGHT there, and LXC had the audacity to tend to JGY's wounds after the man himself admitted to his crimes. I think it's understandable if NHS felt at least insulted.

Also, he was perhaps sick of people not thinking that his big brother was as important as other people, that he was also a human being instead of just a war machine or even a mere tool that can be casted aside whenever they want to. Why did his brother have to die because of other people's greed and selfish decisions? Why did he have to lose the only family he had left forever and why did he have to just sit back and accept it?

Most importantly, LXC had been too blind for more than a decade too long.

Also, the bit about "You're Wangji's only mistake":

Bruh.

If WWX is LWJ's only mistake, then (trusting) LXC is NMJ's only mistake. I mean, sure, WWX is as dumb and oblivious as a rock, but can you really blame him?? HE WAS TRYING TO KEEP HIMSELF, HIS FAMILY, AND THE WEN REMNANTS ALIVE, DUDE'S GOT NO TIME TO THINK ABOUT FKING ROMANCE.

Sorry, I got carried away.

Anyway, are we just gonna ignore the fact that LWJ had been acting like he hated WWX since, like, the first time they met?? I mean, I really love LWJ, but his only mistake is his communication skills (or lack thereof).

But LWJ never gave up on WWX. He learned to express himself way better. Man's got dedication and he's not afraid to learn. I really love that about him.

Also, I understand that LXC was angry because LWJ took beatings to protect WWX, but I don't think he had the right to blame WWX for that. Yes, I know WWX did plenty of things wrong; he was extremely reckless and untrusting, but he never asked LWJ to protect him. LWJ did everything voluntarily. Ffs Xichen WWX didn't even know that LWJ did that. You know why? CAUSE HE WAS FKING DYING THAT'S WHY.

TLDR: LWJ was a grown ass man.

Okay. So, do I hate LXC? No. But do I find him flawed? Yes. But that's why I like MXTX's characters, including WRH, JGY, and LXC (the only exception are perhaps JGS and MXY's fam, and I think we all know why). They all have flaws. For me, LXC is too naive and blind, JGY is too power-hungry and selfish, and NMJ is too stubborn and unyielding. NHS? Well, he's a lot of things. He's manipulative, unsympathetic, and IMO he's got a problem with obsession too. He and JGY are alike, in my opinion. The main difference is their goals: JGY seeks power, NHS seeks revenge.

Everyone has flaws. LWJ and WWX have flaws too; they're EXTREMELY flawed. Heck, even our lord and saviour Shijie also has flaws, as much as it hurts me to type that.

Then why do I get so worked up about LXC's flaws? Honestly I don't really know. Maybe it's because I'm tired of (almost) the entirety of fandom treating him like a god, maybe because I'm tired of people who treat NHS like the devil himself, or maybe because I'm disappointed in him. I mean, JGY's our main villain, but I still love him so much. Heck, I love him even more than I love LXC. Bruh, nowadays I even like WRH more. At least that guy is downright evil and he looks cool while doing whatever evil things WRH does (I'm talking about the novel and donghua mmkay).

Anyway, this is the end of my rant. I apologise if I'm offending you, this is just something that's been bothering me since the first time I re-read MDZS. This whole thing is like a plot bunny but instead of a "plot", the bunny is shaped like a "rant". This is a rant bunny. I need to get this outta my head. I've edited this thing like four times already because I keep finding errors and stuffs. I also added like two new paragraphs.

I'm sad now.

[strvwberryblcnde]

👫 lana & dom

send a 👫 and I’ll write four headcanons i have about our muses’ relationship.

lana buys lots of things on random whims n i feel like smthn she wld have bought the summer her n dom started properly seeing each other is a polaroid camera. probably one of those fujifilm mini ones in pink w stickers on of holographic mermaids n butterflies. n all her friends wld be subject to hving their photos taken on this at 447294734 parties but fr the most part like 50% of the film wld be spent on dom esp considering how often they’d see each other. i cn imagine her being annoying abt it e.g. bursting in unannounced when he ws showering n flinging the curtain bk n shrieking in delight as she tkes a pic of him in there. penis NOT in shot (lana ws very disappointed when she realised altho inevitably dom ws relieved). it ws probably rly blurry too from her springing out of nowhere n running away after she’d dazed him w the flash bt lana wld never dream of throwing it away she’s probably like ugh cole sprouse WISHES he ws me tht stupid i’m weird i’m a weirdo bitch i’m taking his photographer crown n i’m loving it..... another time if she ws wearing his tshirt or smthn jst to laze around in she wld have tried to convince dom to wear her cropped bowie t-shirt she usually lounges in she’d b like OUTFIT SWAP!!!! like it ws a reality show segment. she’d do his hair w her strawberry clips n everything n wna take a polaroid of tht as well. a majority of these polaroids wld b taken w her sat on top of him in bed peeping thru the viewfinder n grinning sickeningly wide after. she’s bad at organisation bt she wld keep very close track of these polaroids n treasure them a lot bc they’d document a summer where she was rly rly happy. probably took them with her to la too she jst has them hidden somewhere.... idk if she’d ever b able to bring herself to throw them away to b honest

i jst had this vision of lana n dom taking franklin to the park n i already told u abt how she’d tell franklin tht she gives the flowers all their own names n say he shld come up w his own names fr them too bc it’s more fun tht way bt. i cn imagine if they saw two bees trying to pollinate the same flower n like buzzing close to each other if franklin pointed it out lana wld gasp n be like OMG they’re in love. they’re married bees. u can tell frm how bright their stripes r they’re extra yellow n glowing like the sun tht’s what happens. tht means they’re in love franklin. n idk if franklin wld say this or not bt if he asked what loves like lana wld b like hmMMM well. love’s kind of like being first in the queue fr the best rollercoaster. or licking the sugar off ur fingers when they’re all sticky frm candy floss. going to the zoo n getting to see all ur favourite animals on a day tht’s sunny but not TOO hot. enough to give ur nose freckles bt not burn ur shoulders. make u feel toasty like ur inside a cocoon. n love’s like........ she’d pause here. she’s crouched dwn on his lvl as she says this mayb dom hs walked off to get them ice creams n she briefly lks at him in the distance as he’s paying before lking bk at franklin. scrunching her nose playfully as she tries to stall. when she hesitantly continues she’s like. n love’s like getting home after tht perfect day at the zoo n finally getting into bed w fresh sheets when ur sleepy n ur eyes r all droopy n heavy. the pillows r fluffy n it’s safe n warm n all of the gd in the world at once. i think love’s like tht. it’s jst.... nice n stuff. n she’d jst be like :) afterwards realising she’d rambled on n change the subject like hey lk at that BUTTERFLY franklin............. bt i jst think this is. particularly heartwarming to me bc not only wld she have been basing tht on hw she feels abt dom bt. in the past love ws always a thing w barbs tht hurt her whenever she tried to hold it n.... he jst rly transformed her idea of being loved by someone into smthn safe n reliable n consistent......... smthn she cld actually make a home out of instead of constantly hving an eye on the door in case they leave / she needs an escape route..... a relationship isn’t a scary concept w him

lana n dom r like. opposites when it comes to social media esp instagram...... dom jst nt even knowing hw to use it n lana posting so regularly hving a small following fr her fashion n whtever.......... i feel like lana wld try to teach him how to use it bt it wld consist of a lot of her being like no that’s--.... dom that’s--.... that’s not ri--.... n jst throwing her head bk n cackling so much she wld b rly endeared by him being clueless abt it she’d be like ommmmmmmmmg it’s ok i’ll b steve jobs n u can be my sexy assistant tht just has to strut besides me like a car dealership model whenever i go on stage to debut the nxt technological advancement. dom wld have to be like... isn’t he dead? lana wld gasp so suddenly n be like omfggggggggg tht explains why me calling this tech nerd wearing a turtleneck steve jobs lst week bombed so hard mayb he thought i ws telling him to die..... dom’s probably like... i doubt he thought tht lana..... she wld laugh at the thought of this anyway n change topics jst the worst attention span already over it. ALSO this is instagram related bt.... bev.kingston wld rly centralise her hate crusade onto dom when it became clear they were dating / things gt mre official n serious. mostly lana wld b like this is so funny n dumb bt.... i think she wld dm bev.kingston one time being like. ok all jokes aside can u cool it a little on the dom hate not to b gross bt he makes me rly happy n i dnt want him to b sad if he ever advances beyond a technological grandpa n sees all this stuff. bev.kingston wld literally screenshot this n post it on her insta like LANA AND I HAVE BEEN IN CLOSE CONTACT I HAVE DECIDED EVANS BOY IS ON TRIAL BASIS EVEN IF I HATE IN MY HEART AND KNOW FREYA IS ONE FOR HER  n she’d update her page like 21/08/2020 LANA DM’D ME ABOUT EVANS BOY (or whtever the date ws) n it’d be sm. lana wld b embarrassed she’d try to get her to delete it she’d b like fk my fking life ur sick bev ur lit rally sick.....

lana treats halloween as a week long celebration she goes to sm parties tht she literally hs to have like..... 482759872 costumes planned each yr. n fr one of them. she’d b like let’s go as each other :) n she’d dress as an angel n he’d dress as a devil. she’d put on red lipstick before they went purely to “help w his costume” n it’d jst consist of her leaving lipstick prints on his cheek n neck n hip even if. his hip wsnt visible w the top he ws wearing she’d b like dom listen.... listen. it’s literally part of the vision n it’s necessary......... it doesn’t matter if ppl can’t see it we’ll both kno it’s there n it’ll elevate the look so mch...... w that attention to detail u cld even b in the running fr winning a prize...... then she wld take the lipstick off like it wldnt even be part of her outfit she only put it on to do this specifically. she’d insist on them getting a photo tgether n it’d b a bit gross it’d b a whole thing she jst.... wld b very proud to b seen w him she’d show him off a lot.... if anyone complimented her outfit she’d b like ya n have u seen dom he’s a devil we match :) n if there ws another pair tht had worn the same which i mean there probably might it isn’t a hugely original concept bt lana wld be like......... ummmmm tht guy is the most pathetic devil i hv literally ever seen..... if she ws drunk she might even b like ummm.... hw does it feel fr dom to be a sexier devil than u............... does it sting? jealous i bet....... n dom wld have to b like lana please.... im sry abt her.... u lk gd haha...... cushioning the blow. taking her hand n leading her away. n lana is jst tittering n murmurs in his ear like. he knew it ws true u cld see it in his eyes. he knew u lkd better than him. 

[chaniters]

Revealed

Thanks @kissingagrumpygiant for lending me Ana Basri! Your art’s so fking EPIC! 

(It was sooooo hard to find a title for this, all I could think of was Detective Pikachu!!!!)

_______________________________________

You knock on the door and stand back checking your cellphone as you wait. There are no new messages as usual. That's good.

He's the only one who has this number.

The message seemed quite urgent... "Please come by to my place tonight, we need to talk"

You're not sure what this is about, but you're not liking it one bit. Typically it's him pestering you for a little while until you crack and agree to meet.

But this message... he used "please". No flirting, no funny emojis, no bribe or boast.

That's not how he does things, he enjoys the power-play far too much. Something's not right...

The door open, and there he is, with a smile that seems a bit too forced dressed just a bit too casual... He's not trying to impress you.

"Ana... please, come in" He motions you to the living room, before disappearing and bringing drinks

"What's the matter?" You ask as soon as he gets back. This is starting to get on your nerves.

"I'm not sure how to say this but..."

"But what?" you ask impatiently.

"I know, Ana"

"You know What?"

"I mean... I KNOW" he says looking straight into your eyes.

It takes a few seconds for the whole sentence to down into your system.

"I don't know what you're talking about," you say with a fake clueless smile. This isn't happening. It's just a setup... he can't possibly know...

"Ana I just want to help you..."

"I don't need your help Ricardo... and I still don't know what you mean" you cross your arms and look deep into him. Let him show his cards before you draw yours.

"You're not going to admit it to the very end, right?" he asked looking hurt

"There's nothing to admit. And I don't like this game... if this is why you called me..." You stand up and take your coat to leave.

"I followed Eden," he says.

"Should I know that person?" Your answer is almost automatical. Like you were trained to. Keep the flow. He will never catch you stuttering...

"That's how I met you at that bar... I was waiting for him to appear and instead, you did... back from the dead"

That gives you pause. He was spying on Eden before he found out you were alive?

"I know whom he works for... I followed him many times. I know he lives under your own apartment, Ana... "

This can't be happening...

"You're spying on a neighbor?"

He sighs exasperated.

"Drop the act... I know you are Puppet Master"

The words are like a hammer shattering the world you've built around yourself to feel safe.

He walks closer to you. "I can help you... I can..."

He extends a hand...

"NO!" you scream, pushing him back with all your strength. "Stay away from me!"

He stumbles as you take several steps back, trying to remember which way was the door... If only this was his old house!

"I can't help you if you won't let me!"

"I don't need your help!" You say heading for the corridor. THere's the door...

He takes your arm. "I'm sorry... But I can't let you go. Not like this!"

Panic.

Your free hand goes into a fist and connects with his face before you even know what you're doing.

Knuckles connect directly with his nose, but he doesn't let go. You try to hit him again and again, but he manages to get a hold of your wrist.

You scream in frustration showing him your teeth and trying to shake him off, but he pins you down against a wall instead, your arms held above your head.

His nose is bleeding, but he won't let go.

"STOP THAT!" he yells at you.

Of course, you don't do that. You try to struggle as hard as possible. Kick him... but he only draws closer, using his whole body to keep you pinned down.

"Stop it" he speaks a second time a bit more calmly. "Can't we at least try to talk about this?"

Your struggle becomes weaker as it becomes obvious he's not going to move. Without your armor, his mods have easily decided this fight. You're trapped.

"THere's nothing to talk about," you say looking away from him.

"Nothing to... ANA! I'm Telling you, I want to FUCKING HELP YOU!"

"Oh yeah? And how in the hell are you going to do that?" you yell back.

"I... I know they're using you! I know it's all part of their plan... If you help us, we can finish this... and you'll be free. She won’t control you anymore!"

Now, this is turning bizarre.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I know Hollow Ground's forcing you to do this! Making you turn against us...  I just don't understand how..."

You give him a blank stare... he thinks Hollow Ground is...

You can't help it... you burst into laughter... which only makes him more agitated.

"Why are you laughing? Let me fucking help you! I can't let her keep using you! I want to get back my friend..."

"Hahaha.. ha... oh wow.. this... this is rich..."

"Stop mocking me already!"

"I'm not mocking you... it's just... Hollow Ground has nothing to do with it"

"I know she does! Eden always works making contacts at places she owns... that's where he met that scientist... and he lives under you. I know he's there to keep an eye on you and make sure you follow her orders... THat's why I've been spying on him.. befriending him. I’m going to get you free of Hollow Ground!"

So that's why he ended up training with Eden all this time?... You can't help the laughter again... really...

It’s impressive. If he followed him for that long without you knowing, then that means Detective Charge actually gathered a huge pile of evidence, lied to you about it all along not to tip you on his findings... 

...and then drew entirely wrong conclusions out of it all. 

"You're not going to admit it, then?"

"You only got one part of this whole fantasy right amigo...  I AM the Puppet Master. But I am NOT Hollow Ground's bitch. I'm my own person."

“What…?”

“The question is… what are you going to do about it…?” you ask, your voice subtly changing back into puppet master’s tone. Even without the distorter, he knows you well enough to realize it. “Still going to help me?” you ask with a cruel smile. It’s not fair for him… but since when has anything been fair to you?

“Are you trying to protect her? Just tell me what she’s got over you! Is she holding someone hostage? What did she do to you?! Just tell me, please!” there’s desperation in his eyes. He thinks he’s so close to his answers. And he is, just not the answers he expects.

“Always ready to blame Hollow Ground for everything since she killed your second dad, aren't you?” Fuck. Too hurtful… .You wish you hadn’t said that the moment it comes off your mouth.

He gives you an angry stare, before going on “Look, I already know she’s behind this so…”

“SHE’S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING!” you blurt out.

“THEN WHO’S EDEN?! WHAT’S HIS ROLE?”

You could lie… tell him a thousand different things… You’ve been trained for it. Maybe he would even believe some of them

But you can see the end of the road from here. You’re not running from it this time.

“He’s just another puppet, Ricardo. That’s how I see everyone these days”

“A pu… ? Como quieres que te crea eso?” he turns to spanish. Perhaps he thinks you can’t lie in spanish?

“Me vas a soltar en algún momento? Or is this just turning you on?” You smile looking at his hands holding your wrists against the wall, his chest pushing against your own… you’re so close...

“If I do that you’re going to run away! It’s what you always do…”

“I won’t… You have my word, for what it’s worth” you say with a smug smile.

He looks down for a brief moment before releasing your wrists and pulling back “Fuck…ok.. but don’t you DARE run!”

“Told you I wouldn’t”

“Alright if it wasn’t Hollow Ground... then who captured you?! You never spoke about your past!”

“You really have no idea…”

“And why didn't you look for me after you escaped?"

"Oh, so it's my fault for not running into your arms? I don't think so. It was you who abandoned me, remember? You let me there to rot!!!"

“Where? Who took you? Make some fucking sense already!”

“The people you work for… they’re the ones who took me, hero”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You should know better than anyone… Your own father gave you up to them, and they’ve been pulling your strings ever since”

“Leave my family out of this!” He bursts in anger

“THe government owns you Ricardo. Just like they own me. The only difference is I escaped”

“I told you to make sense already? Or do I have to keep guessing? Is it all a game to you?”

“No. No more games…”

He’s just so angry… so confused… you’ve never seen him like this.

“Ana, I…” he looks right into your eyes “I fucking love you! I’d do anything for you! Just tell me what’s wrong! I don’t know what else to do...”

“You ... “ your voice breaks for a brief second... “ You can’t love me. You don’t know what you’re talking about”

“But I do!”

“No… you can’t. And I’ll show you why”. No. No, don’t do this. No no no no…

You start to take off your shirt and the nanomesh underneath… This is madness. Why won’t you stop?

“What are you doing?”

It finally comes off… exposing your skin. Letting him see the ugly truth. The orange lines tracing your skin everywhere. The scars inflicted by your torturers

“What are those?”

“You asked me to tell you what’s wrong. Well… what if I told you just about everything is?”

“You mean you’re...?” He’s having trouble finishing his sentences right now...

You nod. The tears are coming already. You cross your arms protectively over your chest, but that only exposes a new set of tattoos going all over them.

“So you see? You can’t love me. I’m not real Ricardo. I never was”

“You’re one of those…” He stops short of saying it. But you know what he meant. He thinks you’re one of those things.

He goes silent.

He just keeps staring… saying nothing.

You can’t read his mind… You can’t hear his words. Only see his eyes, judging you. You always knew what he thought of regenes.

This was all a mistake… a huge mistake. Now that he knows… What is he going to do? He can’t accept this. You fooled him all along. You pretended to be human and he fell in love with you. And now you’ve ripped all that apart.

He gives a step towards you… he’s about to say something…

NO! You won’t let him judge you. Nor him, nor anyone else. And you’re not going back to the farm ever again…

He extends a hand to your arm and…

THere’s your chance. You send a sudden headbutt into his bloody nose like your training tells you to. He’s caught completely off guard, making him pull back.

You push your way through and rush to the couch, getting your coat again, pulling if over your shirtless self, and you run.

Run to the door…

“Stop!” you hear him cry out, holding his nose. “Please don’t leave me. You gave me your word, remember?

Your fingers go white as they grip the handle with all your strength, turning it… 

...until you let go.

 Running won’t help. It’s all in the open now.

Time to face consequences...

_________________________________________

You lay down on the couch. He sits rights besides you.

Both of you stay there the longest time. Your mind is racing a thousand thoughts per second. You just wish he said something. Anything... the silence is deafening.

“Alright... Alright then” he says in the end. “Where do we go from here?” he asks.

“I don’t know? And you said WE or am I hearing things?”

“Of course I said we” he looks at you. He looks hurt and shocked, and afraid… but there’s no doubt in him. “I mean WE need to find a way to solve this”

“What if it can’t be solved?”

“Then I guess we’re going to have to make a mess out of it?” he smiles weakly.

“I guessed I already started? I messed you up... twice now...” You say apologetically

“Oh this?” he motions at his bloodened face “This is just a regular workday for me, you know it!”

“Let me help you clean those”

“If you feel like it”

You head to the bathroom and then come back carrying a wet towel and some antiseptic. He buys the best brand... just like you.

“I’m sorry,” you say cleaning the blood. 

“Ouch” he lets out flinching as you gently clean the stains over his face.

“Just stay still…”

He takes a hand to your cheek… his fingers clearing some of your tears.

“It’s ok” he speaks softly.

“I keep doing this….” you smile bitterly.

“Doing what?”

“Hurting you.”

“Yes, we really  need to work on that cariño…”

He leans in…

“I haven’t finishe….”

It’s a clumsy kiss. His face’s still in pain…

But he’s kissing you.

He knows.

He knows what you are and he’s still kissing you.

Only one way to go now…

You kiss him back.

“Ooouch!” he lets out as you press your lips against his perhaps a bit too forcefully.

“SORRY!”

_____________________

My Fanfics: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/181692759294/my-fanfiction-for-fallen-hero

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters and the setting of the Fallen Hero: Rebirth and upcoming Fallen Hero: Retribution games written by Malin Riden. I do not claim ownership of any characters from the Fallen Hero wold. These stories are a work of my imagination, and I do not ascribe them to the official story canon. These works are intended for entertainment outside the official storyline owned by the author. I am not profiting financially from the creation of these stories, and thank the author for her wonderful game/s, without which these works would not exist.

[here-to-talk]

The ‘Crush’ aspect in my life...

So in my __ years of life (you never ask a lady/women her age) I only had 2 real crushes.....yeah ‘real’ cause these days I have a crush on every passing cute/handsome guy I see.....don’t even try to give me the ‘I don’t’ or ‘what are you talking about?’ we are all human beings...you can tell me otherwise if you want...so back to my crushes I had my first crush when I was in 6th grade, let’s call him A and ngl A was pretty cute. I first saw him in 5th grade during school festival and I was like ‘Oh he’s cute!’ but as we were in different classes we didn’t know each other, but in 6th grade we were in the same class....yeah lucky me...and guess what...A sat in front of me, a cherry on top....I know....I was not sure at the time whether A liked me or not cause he sort of gave mixed signal and also I was still a little girl and hadn’t developed my ‘female instincts’ yet (They are developing at a high speed rn ok cause guess what?...... I could tell who my guy best friend likes in my class without him telling me about it first ...take that!!...ok that was necessary but whatever) so it was like 50-50 chance.....come on every person thinks that their crush likes them when all they had done was pick up a pencil or the littlest thing he/she could do as a human, and the only thing that’s left is for he/she to ask her/him out. I found out later in 7th grade that he had a crush on me too, a mutual friend told me. But it was not only me but 2 other girls, which were my best friends!! But I wasn’t mad about it cause I had already moved on with my new crush....yep, the 2nd guy is here everyone!!

So I already knew this guy B, it’s just that I started to have a crush on him when he was transferred to my school. B was my senior....yep senpai....I told my friends about B (I don’t know why I did that when I was young)....and as we already knew each other, I had our little moments from the past to tell them.....um maybe exaggerating a bit...a tiny bit...Ok moving on. He was nice to me in the beginning but after 4-5 months this guy fking HATED ME as if I killed his family or something and I don’t know why.....like bro chill....Oh I forgot to mention that I also had a guy friend from his grade, at least I thought we were friends but he was a fking snake. The way I had told about us to my friends I told him too...in the same way....yeah and then he went ahead and told  B that I liked him without asking me (I had only told him to ask B how he felt about me, like in a boys talk way...in naturally...normally, without actually B know that I like him or I had told him to ask it) and then he comes and tells me that B doesn’t like me....and let me tell you this snake did NOT like me before you let your imagination and/or fantasies take over......so feeling a little sad I gave up on him. This happened within 2-3 months of his arrival. A month went by and then the....ok so I know that no girls likes being called this but I can’t help it, it’s just the right word to describe them......the b*tches from his class started asking me about him and I just told them we were friends...don’t get me wrong their whole batch was full of sh*tty people.....the perfect reason for why we hate meeting people we knew from high school and middle school, you get me now, don’t you? From that moment onwards he started giving me death glares and hating me......I think..... I am not so sure but it happened often in our school so....some son of a biscuit or daughter of a biscuit had spread the rumor in there grade that I told everyone that we were dating before......I guess, again I am not sure, that motherf**ker hated me so much (I know it was not his fault or anything but I really had a hard time because of all this drama).....once his classmate asked him something about me and I was standing so I could get off the bus as my stop was near (We took the same bus home)....something happened after that....I don’t remember useless things, sorry!!...And then again this whole person is useless but I still remember him anyways..... B looked at me and frowned then I asked him something along the lines of ‘What have I done to you? /What is your problem?’ and he said, ‘Don’t you know?’ fker if I knew then there won’t be this whole drama at all and I won’t even remember you let alone write about you...Ever heard about a thing called COMMUNICATION. That’s it. I don’t have crushes these days...you know why...;) Anyways I don’t care about it anymore and on the other hand I was thinking about it yesterday while lying on my bed *sign*.....after that many thing related to this happen which gave me a pretty hard time......um yeah.....Good or Bad it was/is a phase in our life...Tell me about the ‘Crush’ aspect in your life, I would love to know about it...

Thank you for reading my rambling!! BYE!!! ^-^ PS- You were going to tell me about the ‘Crush’ aspect in your life .. :)

[97bread]

why hello!! (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)💛 at the beginning of december last year, i hit 1k!! and with that being said, i thought that it would be appropriate to make my first follow forever! i'd like to take time to appreciate the mutuals that i have, and the friends that i’ve come to make this past year. i’m a very shy person, and so last year was a great accomplishment for me in terms of meeting new people and actually branching out to others!! i never thought i would be able to do stuff like that. i was able to meet so many amazing people that i couldn’t imagine not being in my life!! and while it’s still january, i would like to add that i hope that everyone has a fantastic year!! here’s to an amazing year filled with much joy & love! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)💛

also v quickly!! i’d like to thank abbey for my ff header !! 💐

key: 🐻 - you brighten up my dash !! 🌿 - i love ‘n appreciate you so much !! heck 💛 - i’m so glad we’re mutuals/friends 💌 - i’m an emo water sign and wrote u a letter :/

special shoutout to my irl friends ( @angemagica, @alleywaydreamer, @hazelbella, @panther4444, @possiblymichaeljones, @timesnewamericana ) for dealing with my annoying bum both irl and online... (´ω｀) ;; 🌙

a-f;

@ahgamark 🐻💛 / @attaboygf 🐻🌿💛 / @baekphia 🐻🌿💛 / @bamethyst 🐻🌿💛 / @baobeijackson 🐻🌿💛💌 / @birf 🐻🌿💛💌 / @bootybam 🐻 / @brokuroo 🐻 / @choiyoungjae 🐻🌿💛💌 / @cutepimook 🐻 / @cyjsgirl 🐻🌿💛 / @darlingjbum 🐻🌿💛 / @dovble-b 🐻🌿 / @dreamygyeom 🐻🌿💛 / @dreamyugyeom 🐻🌿💛 / @exoticface 🐻 / @fldeparture 🐻💛 / @flight-logs 🐻 / @flowrcafe 🐻

g-l;

@gayshinas 🐻💛 / @gikwangies 🐻 / @got7tooprettyfortheirowngood 🐻 / @gsvnrewind 🐻🌿💛 / @gye0mie 🐻🌿💛 / @gyeomsluna 🐻🌿💛 / @happyholidae 🐻🌿💛 / @hhyunbin 🐻 / @hoseom 🐻🌿💛 / @httpmarkie 🐻 / @ibegin 🐻 / @icarusjjp 🐻 / @iheartyugyeom 🐻🌿💛💌 / @iloveujaebum 🐻🌿💛 / @imjbummed 🐻 / @imxjaebeom 🐻 / @irenc 🐻💛 / @iridescent--wings 🐻 / @j-aer 🐻🌿💛 / @j1ny0ung 🐻🌿💛 / @jacksonwangblog 🐻🌿💛💌 / @jacksonwng 🐻 / @jajajaebum 🐻🌿 / @jinyoungslegs 🐻 / @jinyoungslover 🐻🌿💛 / @jj-nyoung 🐻 / @jj-prxject 🐻 / @joohunn 🐻 / @jsutright 🐻 / @lattegyeom 🐻🌿💛💌 / @limjaebum 🐻🌿💛 / @lisassgf 🐻🌿💛 / @lomlmark 🐻

m-r;

@marksluv 🐻💛 / @marksseunie 🐻🌿💛 / @mart-art 🐻🌿💛 / @mochabam 🐻🌿💛💌 / @mochimork 🐻🌿 / @morkookie 🐻🌿💛💌 / @n0average 🐻 / @odetopcy 🐻 / @park-jjinyoung 🐻 / @peachjy 🐻🌿💛 / @peachyugy 🐻🌿💛 / @pink-gyeom 🐻 / @pinkjbeom 🐻 / @pinkjy 🐻🌿 / @pizzawasabi 🐻 / @protectmarkjin 🐻 / @redgyeomie 🐻 / @redrookie 🐻

s-z;

@sadvinyl 🐻 / @sailordeer 🐻 / @sftchans 🐻 / @sharkmoji 🐻 / @shelovesjinyoung 🐻🌿💛 / @slay-bum 🐻 / @softforjackson 🐻🌿💛 / @softjnyoung 🐻🌿💛💌 / @softsmol 🐻 / @su-mel-strawberry4 🐻 / @sugarmaterfamilias 🐻 / @sunbeamjinhappybirthday 🐻 / @taehyunas 🐻 / @taeyeonzx 🐻 / @teenagermp3 🐻🌿 / @theycallme-tunathot 🐻 / @ungiis 🐻 / @vanelaqream 🐻 / @velveteen-queen 🐻💛 / @wangseunie 🐻 / @whyugyeom 🐻 / @yoongifer 🐻 / @youngjaesloudlaugh 🐻🌿💛 / @yu-gyeomiebabo 🐻🌿💛 / @yugy 🐻🌿💛 / @yugyeomsbaby 🐻🌿

#;

@11mark 🐻🌿💛💌 / @127stan 🐻🌿💛 / @2gi 🐻 / @2ndlove 🐻 / @3-rachas 🐻 / @6oct 🐻🌿 / @724148 🐻 / @7uv 🐻

💌 baobeijackson ( sam !! ) - sam!! hello my lovely human being. i love you sooo much, angel!! but i bet you already knew that, heh. :p you mean lots and lots to me, and i don’t think i can ever truly express just how much. before we really started talking, you always made sure to check up on me to make sure i was okay... and that really made me happy. :/ that’s how i knew you were such a sweetheart!! as you know, i Suck at replying, but everything you say/send me makes me smile because i know how much you care about me, and your friends. i love how i can confide in you when i have a problem, and i just want you to know how proud i am of you for all of your achievements, big or small!! you are such a lovely person, and people need to know just how much. i love you soooo much sam!!! i hope that one day we can meet, i really do. (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)💕 💌 birf ( jilly !! ) - jillian!! we don’t get to talk too often, but when we do, i really love it. you are such a big sweetheart, and i love your sense of humor so hecking much. i love talking to you so very much!! i also love how much you love jaebum, because it makes me smile so much... :’/ your sense of fashion is literally out of this world!!! did you know that? 💞 i admire the taste in fashion you have so much, it’s so awesome. i love the memes that you bring to the table, and your passion for the things that you love!! i love you lots and lots jillian, you’re truly one of a kind and someone who deserves the world and more. (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) 💌 choiyoungjae ( fawn !! ) - fawn!! i believe that you were one of my very first got7 mutuals, and to this day that fact makes me so very happy. you’re one passionate human being, and one of the kindest people that i’ve ever had the privilege of talking to!!! you’re an actual angel. we don’t talk very often, but i love seeing you on my dash so much and i love it when we can have the chance to talk... because you’re literally so sweet. your love for youngjae fuels the fire in my heart tbh, it’s so lovely. you really care about him and it makes me so happy. :( 💖 i love your creative content so much, because it’s so unique and interesting! your gifs are so cool. (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) i hope that we can talk more!! because you are truly such a wonderful gem to have around, and i love you!! (´∀｀=)✨

💌 iheartyugyeom ( hayley !! ) - my lovely hayley!!! did you know that i love you so much? :/ because i really do. your snaps brighten my day/night, and i love how funny and caring you are. you were one of my first friends here, and i’d never take that back. :/ you make me so very happy!! even if i suck at expressing that heck ; i love it when you gush about yugy and how i can gush right back with you, and how safe ‘n comfortable i feel when talking to you. i love you so much!! if i had the chance to fly to aussi, i’d meet you right away because!! i just love you so much. :( thank you for always being such a big sweetheart!!! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

💌 jacksonwangblog ( karobean !! ) - there’s literally so much i want to say? i literally love you so much, and you’re someone i can’t imagine my life without. i’ll probably cry writing this like the crybaby i am, but?? i just need to let you know how much you mean to me. not a day goes by that i don’t regret messaging you, even if it took the life out of me. we clicked literally right away, and i remember our very first time actually dying of laughter was over the term flabbergasted. that seems so long ago, and i know that we’ve literally had 493705349594508409 inside jokes since then. but can u believe that of all things was the first?? and then chocroivol.. itwwotst guy.. aliens & french fries, soulmate matters, swimming across the atlantic.. so much. you’re the virgo to my scorpio, the perfect dane to my american, the jack to my bam, my everything. :’/ you’re someone i can truly confide in and i know that you’ll be real with me and tell me how you feel, which is something i love.. because it makes me know that you’re telling me what you think is best for me. i love how we can have 40910 different conversation topics within the span of 10 minutes, and i love how much you can make me smile and laugh. the amount of times that i’ve been in public and smiling like an idiot at my phone is.. wow. not only can you make me laugh, but you’re someone who’s taught me so much about the world, and you’re someone that’s really inspired me to live my life to the fullest. we both have our moments when we’re sad at the same time, but i love how we can always count on one another to cheer each other up. one of my biggest goals in life is to get to denmark and meet you, because you literally mean the whole entire world to me. you’re one of my best friends in life, and i’d never trade that for the world!! i love you so, so much karoline, you mean more than words to me. jeg elsker dig mere end stjernerne! de skinner lyst, men du skinner endnu lysere. tak for eksisterende, jeg ved ikke, hvad jeg ville gøre uden dig!! du fortjener verden og mere, jeg håber du ved det! jeg elsker dig så højt, min sol!! (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 💌 lattegyeom ( abbey !! ) - oh my gogdskjd, abbey. i truly, and utterly adore you to pieces. i can’t really express just how much, but it’s so much. you’re always there for me when i need someone most, and you always have the sweetest things to say to me. you’re so gentle and loving, and that’s just one of the many things that i love about you. you’ve helped me through a lot, and i can’t thank you enough. i really relate to you, and you’re someone i know i can trust 100%. you’ve taught me so much about the sky and what it holds, and you’ve helped me to understand myself when i couldn’t even do it on my own. and that’s something i truly am thankful for, because?? it just means so much to me. you’re so fking genuine, too. you care about the people around you, and it really does show. you’re one of those people that can light up rooms, i’m so sure of it!! you’re someone that means so, so much to me, and i’m always so thankful for your existence!! (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑) i look up to you lots and lots, and you’re someone i’d never want to disappoint. your love for yugyeom is one in a million, too. you love him to pieces, and i know he’d love you just as much back. (trust me, we’re both scorp suns and gemi moons!! we love u.) i can’t imagine my life without you, and i s2g i’ll drive up to MN one day and take you out to coffee!! you deserve all the happiness in the world, m’lovely abberson!!! thank you for teaching me so much and caring about me, because they all mean so much to me in more ways than i could ever begin to explain. you’re one of my best friends, and i cherish you so much. (also uh thanks for putting up with my memey ass when i know u hate 87% of the horrid memes i send u :p) i love you sooooo much abbey!!! my star-dusted angel !! (*´∇｀*)💫💛  💌 mochabam ( jemmy !! ) - JEMMY MY LOVE MY ANGEL MY LOVELY PAL!!! can i just say how happy i am that we started to talk more and more?? because you make me so happy and the way you can make me laugh is phenomenal. we have so many lil jokes, and i love knowing how stupid i can personally be and yet you’ll just laugh ever so lovingly with me. you have so much love to give, and it always amazes me just how much! i treasure you so much, and i care about you a great deal. you’re always there to listen to me when i need someone, and you can always cheer me up. i love how we’re always here for one another!!! your love for bambam is the sweetest and most genuine thing i have ever seen, and it really warms my hear. speaking of the loaf.. the loaf and i love you so, so much, and we’ll always be here for you no matter what!! i love you so much, m’coconut princess!! i hope you know how loved and appreciated you are!! i’m so thankful that you exist, and that i’ve come to know you in the way that i have. ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ💓💫 💌 morkookie ( alex !! ) - um... can i just start off by saying that i love you so, so very much? :/ let me say it again, but in your mother-tongue: ich liebe dich so sehr!! wow... :( you’re the loml, my mikan, and someone who is so very precious to me. i’d move mountains for you if i could!! i always want to make sure that you’re happy. you’re just one of those people, y’know? someone that i adore with my entire heart. your love and passion for me makes me so happy, and i just want you to know that i’m the same way back. you make me very soft, and i love your calming voice. you may think that your german accent may sound the exact opposite of what i’m about to say, but i love your voice so much. it’s so!! soothing to me, and i love it when you rant to me in german. i love my fiery woman. :p 💓 your love for jungkook is uh... exceptional. i love how much you love him, and i love knowing how pure and true it is. i mean who else would hecking go get his picture printed off and frame it. i love you and your shenanigans so, so much. i want to meet you so badly, so we can do everything on our list together. the day i meet you is going to be one of the best days of my life, whether it be in deutschland oder amerika. you mean so much to me, and i want you to know that. i know that when i tell you my problems you’re real and honest with me, and i love it. you’re always here for me. i love you so, so much alex... thank you for being you and for loving me the way you do. (´∇｀)💐💞 💌 softjnyoung ( rae !! ) - rae... my mama bun... my love!! you’re someone that means the whole entire world to me, because i know how much you care about/love me. you’re a beautiful woman, both inside and out!!! you’re always willing to talk about random topics with me, and i love how that’s one of the ways that we were able to bond with one another. i love talking to you almost every day, and i love how much i can confide in you. you’re someone i clicked with so, extremely fast, and i’d never take that away. you’re there for me when i need you, and you always make me feel so loved and appreciated. but guess what!! i love you more, and i always will. you hold such a special place in my heart, and that will never change. you’re someone i really look up to, and someone that i truly adore. you have so much wisdom, and you’re always willing to share it with me. you’re a whole big softie, and i love just how soft you can be for the people that you love. you always manage to put up with my crybaby self, but i know it’s because you care about me so much, and i can’t tell you how much i appreciate that. i swear when i go back to germany i’ll come and see you, and we can go get spaghettieis!! it’ll be the best experience in the whole entire world. your lil bunny loves you so much! you’re the sunshine when she feels at her lowest, and you can always brighten her days. you make me laugh to the point i can’t breathe, and i love how genuine you are. thank you for always caring about me, and just know that i care about you so, so much. you’re one of my best friends, and i’d never take that away. i love you soooo much, rae! more than you’d ever know! (๑˃̵◡˂̵๑)✨💛

💌 11mark ( victoria !! ) - victoria !!!! you’re such a soft little sunshine, did you know that?? you’ll always be someone that is so special to me. you were my cute lil rosey anon, and now you’re my cute lil rosey lovin’ pal!! you’re always there to make sure that i’m feeling alright, and i love it when you check in on me. you really care for me, and it shows so much!!! i care about you a great deal, too. you’re always introducing me to new things, and you’ve sparked my interest in the bulgarian culture. you’re my cute angel, and i love you dearly. i hope that we can continue to talk and grow closer, because you mean so so much to me!! thank you for coming forward and talking to me, because it means the whole entire world to me that we talk. i love our lil convos, even if they happen at odd times in the day! (heck those time zones. :p) i love you so much angel, continue to be yourself ‘n never change!! because i love you just the way you are. (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)🌹💛

[elixirity]

december 0520

so this was an idea on my mind for quite some time already. since this year was super unexpected and like seriously not the best, i wanted to do something to at least remember the last few parts of it by. the idea was something like - every day/ night of december, i type out one or more things i am thankful for in my life. and i kinda missed the first 5 days of it cos im so heckin tired every night although i literally sleep 12hours every single day. ok anyways j took a short break to wear my retainers isit j me or is evryone scared of their teeth shifting back to their original position after braces - i am already so unsatisfied with the ugliness of my teeth even after braces but cant do anyth abt that rn can i. 

anyways. yea that was my idea super wholesome and stuff but since my stupid distracted ass cant stick to a single idea im j gon make it like a brain dump of the last *30* now 25 days of december cos i dont think i wanna forget this year. also mahims i know i talked to u regarding writing a diary and i think is as close as it gets lmao thanks for the idea n encouragemnt tho. 

this year was so. interesting. honestly its the most apt usage of that word i’ve ever had in my entire life of 17 years. start of this yr, i can remember being literally 

so 

bored 

legit 

bored 

like i had seriously NOTHING to do and i was like the definition of stoner

i j read like fanfictions and watched utube 24/7 and then i was so fkin excited for sch to start like omg i am going to meet so many new ppl and make so many friends i know me and meenu had this whole idea of like becoming loners and j fully mugging our way out of jc and i was actually serious about that idea cos like yaknow what else is important apart mugging amirite and it seemed so ideal like the campus is hecking huge anyways whos gon find out if i j fucked off and like started mugging at some randomass corner and honestly those who didnt know i existed didnt need to know i did. or smt lidat that was my thought process but as wbk i cant survive without ppl THAT IS ONE THING I REALISED ABOUT MYSELF THIS YEAR NOTE yes i literally need some person like 

existing 

alongside me. leme try to explain it doesnt really make sense. like i keep asking ppl wyd or i check if theyre online and stuff cos i need to know if there is anyone who is currently present in my life and im not suddenly like alone and shit idk ew i sound cringe but that kinda sums it up. like i know i think of going off the grid to mug and start tryna fking pass school but i dont think i ever can. i will keep trying cos maybe i will be successful one day. dont know if thats for the better or for the worse but i do know one day i will have to learn to be by myself and not be needing to know of people’s existence to be grounded. yea but start of the year went by like this. and then it was sKOOL orientation days were soo cool i knew nobody i mean i had vishnu and harshnee in my og and literaly every other person from rg was walking around but all of us were so. new. like u get wadaimean yea it was cool but Hecking Sad i mean really sad i know i say i hate all the cringey running around and like introductory shit that goes on in orientation camps and all but there is always this new fascination like you can never know if u will find your next bestie in that grp or anywhere. ya but i was super sad that orientation got cancelled and it was even worse cos my o was pretty dead in the sense that i could sense that the jockish ppl wanted to go out and stuff but no one really initiated anything so we just. didnt. and we dont even talk to each other anymore lmfao but is alrt they were nice ppl n im thankful to meet them. 

then it was clas time omg my class was sooo quiet at the start of the year. ok one thing i still rmbr i was so shocked about was the number of indians in my class. i mean i still am but . literaly when has one ever had a indian person as the person on the register before you AND after you?!??!?!?!?!? yes and i was like o wow this is 

interesting 

and it was honestly my class ppl are angels and i cant be more thankful for all of them and god i mean this legit like i love yall guys 

i mainly hung out with like shwetha and vishnu at the start of the yr cos we knew each other so that was cool for a bit then i hung out with gopesh alot cos he was p cool and nice and he had weird but nice humour now that im writing this i kinda miss talking to him but it eez wat it eez. people are like passing clouds in your life. and you honestly never see them pass by you but they do and you cant do much to stop them or anything they just do. you can only reminisce after they left or j faded away.  then i went home with the sengang karthik varshini gopesh and htey were all such cool people sri is so fking cute aaa i wana squish and protec but anws karthik is an interestin fella too he has such cool views on shit and like such a level headed mindset i aSPIREE 

this has extended way past my bedtime i just realised i shall continue tmr. adios!  

[flameaurasphere]

020318 (初十五) & 030318

Dear Diary,

Spent the last day of the lunar new year at my classmates’ birthday party at D’Resort Downtown East. Half of the time I was chilling in the room watching MTV and STIHL timbersports (idk why I was amused by men cutting wood with various axes), and the other half was spent at the barbecue pit, using eye power to cook the food. There were grey herons (couldn’t tell if they were storks/herons/egrets, so I had to Google lmao) flying above us. I’ve always been fascinated by peaceful avians gliding across setting skies, but they were the opposite of peaceful cos they wouldn’t stop squawking lol. We had chicken wings, sausages & satay, and even traded our chicken for a piece of corn with a Malay family at the barbecue pit on our right. On our left was my school’s Kickboxing CCA barbecue party, and istg they were rowdy & high af even in broad daylight, spewing vulgarities like nobody’s business. I didn’t realise my kindergarten friend was there until dusk lmao. I call this fate. :”)

The cake was so fking aesthetic -- it was covered in magnolia white cream and crowned with roses, macaroons & passion fruits & shizz in pastel tones. I swear there were gold flakes speckled on the cake. There were layers of fluffy vanilla cake, berries, & lavender-flavoured cream that were light on the taste palate. 👌👌

We played a short game of “Never Have I Ever” with cider, whereby everytime someone says “I Have”, they have to take a sip from the cider (and non-drinking friends had to pop a balloon, which was hilarious af). Our friend with the bottle opener had promptly left, so one of the birthday girls and I had to go next door and I asked my kindergarten friend for help lol. I was shooked that they didn’t have one either, and had been using the corner of tables or teeth to open bottles. She called upon a few dudes by screaming, “EH, HELP CHIOBU (pretty girl) OPEN BOTTLE.” Gosh, I wanted to fking slap her for attracting unnecessary attention HAHAHA.

I gotta admit, my friend’s pretty (she was the first girl that caught my eye during freshmen orientation), but I don’t fancy being the “ugly friend” all the time. My friends repeatedly reassure me that I’m not ugly, yet sometimes I can’t help but feel like I’m being indirectly compared & inadequate. Personality-wise, I’m not that attractive either, (sorta explains my stagnant love life) but oh well, that’s life. :”) Waiting to meet an equally shitty personality to wholeheartedly love me.

Throughout the whole duration of the game, I only took a sip, which shows what a law-abiding & boring citizen I am lmao. I’m not complaining though, cos I could feel my stomach churning from all the food & cider I drank earlier. Nevertheless, I had a good laugh hearing everyone’s stories behind their “I Have”s. Truly, they showed me how to smile again after my meltdown on Monday (260218), and I swear to keep these people close to my heart. 🤗 The moon was lit, and so was my fam. 🌝

It’s officially been a month since I moved into my new place. For once, I felt sad to wake up to a Saturday, because it meant my family is home, thus there’s a lot of restrictions on the things I could do. Gosh, I miss the luscious taste of pear cider already. 👅🍐🥂

Was on a losing streak in Vainglory, so I lent my account to someone to push my rank bc I’m too frustrated to play. He was so shooketh at all the hero skins I owned. xD He’s really like a brother to me -- it reminded me of when I used to lend my PSP to my brother when I couldn’t beat a game. I’m so mad he actually had a winning streak lmao.

Had Aston’s for dinner with my mother. I was carrying a giant bag of groceries from Giant supermarket (pun?) and a girl around my age politely smiled at me let me alight the bus before her. Wow, someone smiled at me. I nodded at her and quickly left the bus.

Here’s my classmates’ vlog on yesterday’s birthday party, which I thought was really well done 😋: 

~Flameaura

[millionsorganel]

Seoul January 2018

part 1

as the title here “january 2018″ but i posted on february 2019 lol. *a year later* i am finally wants to summerize my seoul trip here. first of all, back in years ago where i am so into kdrama, where i dream to be living there. 

December 2017: 

my cousin ask me if i wanna join her to korea and of course i said yes (without even thinking because its fking KOREAAAAa)

fast forward to january 2018: 

where i have to deal with finals, assignments and things. i have exactly one week to prepare (actually prepare my heart) because im busy and not into kdramas or kpop at that time. i was not so excited like how i used to when the time i always dream to go to korea. my cousin prepare for the booking and stuffs. by the time i start my semester break, i only have few days to shop for winter clothes (which is i cannot find a good one because i was short in time ugh) and to plan where we want to go because we both was into kpop and we dont want to go to the mainstream tourist attraction only 

25th january:

we arrive incheon international airport at night and we stay a night in airport. yup we spend almost 5 hours there i think. it is because train and bus does not operate by the time we arrive and we booked hotel for the next day. as we arrive, it was super cool there it is -12 degree. and im from tropical season country its kinda shock for me cause issa FREASKING NEGATIVE 12 DEGREE. 

26th january day1: 

we had hot chocolate at tous les jours in the airport for breakfast before we taking bus to myeongdong. yes u read right, issa myeongdong. my favourite place so far i mean issa shopping heaven never regret to stayed there!! we took #6001 bus at 7am for 10,000krw. the cost is same if you take AREX (train) too. we took bus because we had huge luggage with us i cannot bear to step up stairs with luggage! 

on that day, we found out that day is the coldest day. the government also told everyone to stay in house because it could be dangerous the weather even at -21 degree! it was so cold that day you cant even stand for more than 10 minutes outside. and for me, my hand and feet was all numb if we stayed for so long outside. it was really crazy experiance. 

we had lunch at Busan Jib myeongdong it was because it is near to our guesthouse. we ordered bibimbap and kimchi jiggae. the food is not that good like people reviews... but its okay since it is our first try! oh forget to mention, i stayed at k-grand hostel myeondong, the hospitality is great! the staffs are all friendly and helpful. even make friends with some guest from filipino. they provide free breakfast and shared kitchen area where we eat together there!! (read: it was fun to make friends when travelling thats why we decide to stay in guesthouse!) 

we just strolling around myeondong for day one because we’re not gonna take risk to climb namsan at -21 degree!

27th january day 2:

for the second day in seoul, we go to Gyeongbokgung palace as we planned before. the entrance fee is 3000krw. it is a beautiful palace remind me of scarlet heart ryeo omg wang so :’( despite from cold weather, we always want to warms the body because if not our feet go all numb. we go to the National Folks Museum it is free entrees. by walks, we go to bukcheon hanok village to rent hanbok for one hour it cost 10,000krw. its a good experiance tho!

we dinner at yoogane myeongdong seafood fried rice oh my god i miss it!

28th january day 3: 

we took train to hongik station and strolls around hongdae, the street is famous with youngsters and uni students, and there so many affordable clothes shop there. after that we go to ewha street and university, the university is just......... so beautiful i wanna further study there i wish i could!!! after we taking pictures at ewha, we go to gangnam to find our halal bbq lamb omg my mouth already drooling as i talk about it. we stop at yeoksam station, exit 6 walks about five minutes, tadaaaaaa THE. LAMB. WAS. SO. FUKCING. GOOD.ISTG. it was overpriced but worth it as we repeat 2 times. as we arrive, the staffs said they still closed but they’re so nice they opened for us maybe considering cold outside and theres no halal food nearby. and the lamb IZ DA BOMB PURFECT. we can choose what kind of lamb/ beef we want and theres the price too, we ordered 2 sets of lamb and kimchi jiggae (omg it was very good too!!!) and it serve with side dishes kimchi and veges. oh the dip sauce issa purfect combination with the lamb.omg i can put a whole essay on how good it was 

after our late lunch (it almost dawn) we go to Lotte world mall to buy souvenir at hard rock shop oh later i found our iKON is doing a fan meeting THAT TIME at other level an i was there but idk whats happening until i go back wow my dumbass didnt check their schedule daily when i was in korea 

we also try out some street food at myeondong for dinner.  

food appreciation below::::::

*typical passport picture*

suNRISEEEEEE <3

bibimbap and stew jiggae! 

winter strawberry is a must try! 

YOURE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY U AREEEEE <333333 i never been this inlove<333333

it cost 50,000krw to be happy <33333

never forget my go-to breakfast!

in the middle of myeondong, i choose you! (it is taiyaki if not mistaken)

morEEEE FOOODSSSS who can say no to takoyaki>????

-to be continue!-

[blxckvoids]

Because i didn’t want to lose him, i lost myself in the process.

I became the girl who kept being mistreated and i formed the habit of saying “i’m used to it, it’ll get better soon”. I became a girl who kept being unappreciated and i began telling myself “it’s okay”.  I became a girl who kept being undervalued and i learned how to say “i’m fine”. I became a girl who kept being put last and i naturally reacted with “it's whatever” . I became a girl who kept being taken for granted and i dealt with it by repeating “ Everything’s going to be okay fiqah” . I became a girl who kept being unhappy and i regularly told people “ hey, i’m going to be fine!” And after everything that has ended, after 4 years. I managed to walk out. I learned when to walk away. No guy is worth losing yourself for, no guy is worth suffering for at the expense of your happiness and no guy is worth tormenting yourself over for the sake of making him happy. At this point, perhaps walking away and listening to my heart will allow me to find myself and to find someone who knows my actual worth. It’s been 32 days since i told you , “ i have to go, i’ve given up. Our love has gone cold and i love him. My heart choose him.” I’d like to sincerely apologize to our close friends, especially hadi’s for my shitty actions. It’s true, i have someone else. I admit it. Openly. There is nothing for me to hide anymore. No, i don’t love hadi nor do i miss him. We tried so many times to make it work. Infact, i told you once “ we’re turning toxic “ you replied me with this..

“ toxic thn leave ah, we tried so many times alrdy but its still not working.  It means we aren’t meant to be together. “ 

When i looked back, there were so many signs we weren’t meant to be together. But i’ve never packed my bags and left. 

I wanted you to fight for us, you never once did. I wanted you to comfort me but you always told me, “ i don’t know how to”. 

I should have walked away when 

1) we were 15, i was battling with depression and you weren’t there. I didn’t expect you to be my therapist, you didn’t even supported me instead you couldn’t accept me. Should have known but i fought for you, even when i was on the verge of suicide.

2) The first time you walked away and gave up on us. This was when you were so so so toxic. I dealt with it , i helped you got through it. I told you, i don’t see the bad in people. I’ll always help them rise up and get through it and i wouldn’t give up on them, no matter what. I should have known, i wasn’t a therapist. I was a partner, a lover.

3) When you grabbed my arms so tightly to the point i literally flinch and beg you to let go and you shouted at me. Send me off to school and dropped me a “sorry” text. This. Until today, when you slightly raise your voice at me. I still do get flashbacks of this day. Sometimes i wanna slap myself. I cried in school that day. Infront of aza, even zan was there. Nonetheless, i still defended you. It was my fault, i always make people mad.

4) N level, maths examination. You broke up with me, again. Because of your own demons. You know, i studied fucking hard for that one shot. To go pfp. Maths was all i needed. I could excel in any other subject but maths. Just a 3 or even a 4 could have saved my ass. I went for the examination, i sat for it. No tears as of yet. Told myself “get this paper done and over with thn go and find hadi”. You know what? i fucked that paper. I can’t go to pfp bc of it. But no, i never blamed you. My fault for not walking away when i should. Gave you another chance. Fixed you. 

5) When i got worse, my demons were harder to deal with. My battles got tougher. Once again, you walked away. You said i was toxic and hard to deal with. I never gave up on you when you needed me. Damn. 

6) You left because you claimed i wasn’t giving you space and a chance to be yourself among your friends ??? jealousy issues??? truth is, we only meet once a month. But okay, go off.

7)  At 17/18 years old. I changed . A lot of you may know this. I had enough of battling with my mental health. I changed to be the best version of myself, i gave no fucks to negativity. I was so positive heheh i actually love myself?? no more overthinking. I was so understanding. But you said i changed for others and that i still ruined your life because of girls.....okayyyyyy. You didn’t even changed, You sorta just got complacent and just didn’t appreciate me as much.

8) Emotional abuse. I mean, wasn’t it obvious enough for me to see? dumbo. You told me my death threats didn’t matter because people took me for granted already. Its not as if i have the courage to kill myself either. Broooo, i was so stunned hahaah my death didn’t matter to you and i still didn’t budge??? 

9) You told me you didn’t want to dedicate yourself much to this rs, actually you didn’t even... you never gave me a chance to know your heart, infact, you’ve never opened up to me. 4 years okay??? You told me you’re not ready.  okay but 4 years?? i sorta just forcefully met your siblings, your mum and stuff but you’ve never asked if i was okay with it . I’m only okay with it because, i should be responsible for you? i mean, why should i run away? berani buat, berani tanggung. I’ve been patient. I didn’t ask you to marry me or force us to marriage AHAHAH but i’ve been obedient. When you say no, i’d respect your decision. No matter what i do, i’ll always ask for your permission. Not just inform you, but ask like legit ask. But you? i don’t know what or why, you rather just lie to me so you can go out with your friends... bro, just ??? You once created a fking drama in sec sch when you admitted you were @ this girl’s house when you weren’t. I cleaned up after your shit bro. I got fucked over by a whole lot of your friends and mine. Where were you???? you blamed your demons for it. You hide behind the shadow you’ve hurt. 

10) Little things don’t matter to you. I’ve never received a long texts from you. Ig posts??? tu pun paksa kot. I’ve never heard or known how much i matter to you. You told me you can’t express love. Aite. You told me, your friends know how much i matter to you. Bro, i needed to hear it. Not your friends. It’s me. If you told me, i would have stayed. 

I guess you stopped trying to win me over since you’ve gotten me already. Guess you knew i wouldn’t leave because i’m not brave enough and i needed you to survive. But i’m sorry, i stopped choosing you. I stopped loving you and needing you. I needed myself more. I choose me. And that other person who my heart chooses. I got tired from healing you, if you wanted me, you would have changed on your own will. 

Nonetheless, it’s not your fault. I have never blamed you. I thought i could be like my mum who always sees the good in my dad no matter how fucked up he is. Who always stayed fixing and healing. Who’s always so kindhearted and kept quiet with all the ill- treatments. Maybe, at one point of time, it worked. But our rs was from pain to bliss and bliss to pain. My weakness was always my heart. Like you said, my big heart brings good to people but pain to me. You apologized to me and let me go. You told me you were sorry and you blamed yourself for not seeing my worth and not stopping me. For not fighting for us. You were happy that i finally followed my heart and loved someone else.

I am sorry if i hurt your feelings and took away your hope. I knew i don’t love you anymore. I just never said because sometimes we get attached to things just for the sake of it. Long after we’ve outgrown them. Maybe, its because i owe you my life, you did a noble thing but what i owe you, its just that. Just gratitude. I don’t owe you a marriage. I tried to be the one for you so did you. I can only hope you love your next better than you did love me.  Its been 32 days and i love him more and more each day, not you anymore. Please learn to let go of me and let go of the regret. The hadi i know, doesn’t regret anything nor does he feel emotions. That’s that my friends, i have someone else in my life now and i can only hope y’all learn to love him as much as y’all love hadi. This isn’t to bring hadi down or whatever. I still want y’all to respect him. I still do respect him. So please don’t go and text him and bother him with the ‘why u fuck her up’ texts. I am the one to blame. Thank you hadi, for letting me pursue my heart. For letting me go nicely and for understanding me. For loving me and showering me with so much love. It was a pleasure knowing you and welcoming you in my life. I hope i’ve given you a fair share of good memories. I hope you learn to love endlessly and live fearlessly. I hope you learn that feelings aren’t a weakness. It’s a blessing. I’m sorry if i broke our promise for the first time ever. Our “till the end of our time” promise. What can i say? we were 15. Here’s goodbye to you, here’s to the end of us. Here’s my explanation. Maybe, till the end of our time means till the end of our fate. Our fate lasted for 4 years. And i am eternally grateful for that. Thank you. 

Goodbye. 

[kyandice]

CANDICE EDIT THIS UGLY SHIT WHEN U HAVE THE FUCKING TIME

this is an ugly unedited one it has been in my drafts for like 2 months already. so whatever i just posting it. ill edit it if i have the time. thins is is i actually edited half way and MY FUCKING COMPUTER FUCKING CRASHED SO I GAVE UP  and yeahhh ill just post this ugly unedited one and ill edit it again WITH PROPER ENGLISH WHEN I HAVE THE TIME. idk i just cqnt see stuff in my drafts i just havre to post it and yewah wtf.

this unedu=ited stuff is just me writing key poiunts about my day and not like urghhhhhhh i hate this commmmmm. normally i would describe more but i dont want it in my drafts anymore so ill edit it when im free OKAYYYY.

1/3 

Hahahahahah lmao this was the date when i got tgt with K 3 years ago.(omg i still rmb, but tbh its nth special i just rmb useless stuff pretty well)  Never wanted to date a guy again even i with crushes back in sec sch. but anyways, today i went to Sentosa w/ B and he seemed to really like the artificial fiels alot but it was like in the afternoon so it was still kinda hot and yeahhhh. Like it would be much nicer at night. There will be like alot of stars and fireworks too and it will be more windy and cooling idk but it will be nicer at night and i want to spend the night w/ B there again. Oh yeah anyways ystd B bought me the batgirl lego keychain and B told me that batgirl had sex with batman and im shoooked.

2/3 and like today we planned to go to his house anddd then go to parkway parade to some lego secret chambers shop. i went out early cuz my junior wanted to pass me her lego characs but she couldnt make it so i was alr at bishan so i just went to tpy and wait for bryan o wake and meet me so i called him at 11am but he woke up and shouted at me so i just like nvmmmm so i went to the library and went window shopping around tpy and i also went popular 1pm i didnt want to call him up but i was like ugh nvm and called him.. and yay he finaally woke up wna read tuesday with morrie, all the fifty shades of grey and in grey's pov n miss peregrine's home for peculiar children but we still went to parkway parade anyays and he asked me to watch letters from iwo jima so i watched it at night and bryan wanted to watch the breakup list on toggle but it kept playing ads and it just wouldnt play the video so b got alittle pissed 3/3 logan, training (our 8th movie)

4/3 finishing crocheting my first thinggg the bear thing shoud i give it to bryan would he want it so today b was vvvv kinda excited this video thing with ck and cez and im like vvv happy for him cuz he can do smthing he rlly likes with cool n funny ffriends. also he said that he didnt want us to go public at first cuz he was afraid that ppl might tease us he said he was afraid i might be ffrustrated but tbh i was hella frustaratred i dont see the point of hiding our rship but im glad werre like opene now and so at night i went to ikea and b messaged me but i was busyt walking and i didnt recieve his msg but i didnt like lock my phone so it was read. but like it was in my pockets and like my mom doesnt allow me to play my phine whenever im walking but yeah anyways b was angry hat i didnt reply him. we sorta quarreled awhile but we were kinda okay after that i guess. wtf sia today midnight i have to distribute stuff to the homeless ppl in bugis and i was wearing a short paanyts and my mom tied this weird looking scarf i swear i look like some carzy hobo youngster wtf.

5&6/3 sneaked out of house, slept over at his house and after that i went to tpy first while he showers, ate and went home early to pack for camp stuff wna stay over at his house again it was fun we tried to watch moanna but was kinda sleepy

7/3 day 1 of camp. slept with b outised tgt

8/3 day 2 of camp (-met javier and sihui -every camps i go i get very angry -shoulder, water balloon) larn cpr and aed the skit thing worst grp ever

9/3 day 3 of camp water activities we won

10/3 tkd training

11/3

-wtf nxt week go msia (wanted to go work) -quarreled with bteh. cuz i cant go out but he wants me to go out -yyour suffering defines you without it yore a void -japan and korea with bryan -my parents -i want more lego charac -money - i cant wait for tmr for ilighhtsss i want to take like alooot pictures tgt with bryannnn styled hair -nicole choo idk why im still so insecure like i know pretty clearly that im decent looking. decent looking enough to make friends, have a job and not get ostracised in society. and well if you arent good looking enough you'll be made fun off/ostracised in society and thats how humans work. and now everywhere you see are pretty girls and how can any girls feel not insecure. Okay, i have a flat and fat nose. i want to have a sharper and thinner nose like michelle. i have pretty small boobs and i want boobs like naomi. my shoulders are too wide from playing softball, i want a smaller width shoulders like grace. my tummy isnt flat i want a flat tummy. and thing is those are pretty famous girls in like sg and im not even talking abt kim kard or emma wats or like jennifer lawr. omg i dont even know where im going with this im just literally typing all my thoughts down. okay and the boys here???? they all follow those people and im pretty sure they compare them over the normal girls in sch. omg what am i even talking abt. i feel silly even typing this out. but okay if your beauty standards doesnt reach like the norm in society you srsly wouldnt have friends. unless youre realllll rich or your sense of humor is rlly rlly great.

12/3 didnt quarrel but we  were obv upset with each other it was a fun day tho when to see i lights took alot pictures ate llaollao no money

20/3 best s ever went home after it bteh gg aunts house today

his flight will be tmr 21/22 job interview got the job bryaan in flight abt cosplay how i dont have frinds

25/03 bryan found my private twitter accnt                                    bteh tole me abt a girl he liked when he was in korea idk if anyone realised but ive got a really really really bad habit. its weird really. but its a thing ive been doing since young and i never talked to anyone about it before. so actually, when im nervous, or stressed out, or just couldnt take my mind off smthing, i would like start peeling or plucking my nails. okay many people do this but, i ahve a weirder one andddd omg i think i will regret saying this. So actually, i pluck i my hair when im nervous, stressed out or just thinking abt smthing i cant ignore. so back in primary 4 i was doing this math practice paper and i couldnt do any those 6marks big problem sums and i was fking stressed out. and well my habit of plucking my own hair started really really young. and at P4 my mom saw me crying

26 toc competition firdst fight win second fight lose how i dont wna fight nationals cuz my weight cat all got national player lose my chance to win gold cant even get silver r came today

29/ power rangers

30 wanted to go coney island with rapheal and jill and bryan but it rained so we went to lan and gamed without jill bryan pushed me and i banged into someone in the end see museums some forest thing the ligths vvv pretyy

28/hotel

31/ hotel went to work after that talk about work made bryan that key chain clp diner and dance

1/4 learn bst bts for club crawl played boomberang didnt workkk aot is out!!!!!!

2/4 today i need to go mountbatten cc to practice my poomsae my poomsae lousy i dont think i can pass at first try anyways president of stf is milan quey idk if i spelt his name properly but yeah. before that ate yellow sub with B will nvr eat there again portion is small yet expensive and food isint so nice at all but since i get to eat with b im vvvv gladdd

3/4 today i went early to B's house. after that met up with madeline and shirlyn to watch boss baby and the movie was quite nice i thought i wouldnt like it and then we ate pepper lunch and omg osaka is a vvv small place like shirlyn went evrywhere i visited like a a year ago

4/4 AND I WOKE UP WITH BTEH lose his doibok and he couldnt find it my maid threathened to take a mail for my mom cuz she lazy walk and she wants me to do it but i was late

5/4 there was demo training we played table tennis for awhile and bteh is good at it, ok maybe its just that i suck at it but yea theres was fmo so we slacked at tg until demo tng started so at night he said hes tired but idk that he wanted to sleep soon and he was like stop it and i was like stop wat but he ttly just shut me off and then i got pissed cuz i would nvr do that to him

6/4 i had to meet herman but like after meeting him timetable i realised i forget to bring my wallet somethimes im torn in beteen like just not gg out with bteh cuz i have no money to eat or spend his money again he keeps saying its okay but its really not okay im just not comfortable like someone spending so much on me i owe money so he told me his specs broke ttly

One of the things dreams do for us is prepare us for worse case scenario. The dream that is closest to reality about a loved one leaving us prepares the mind for the pain that can be inflicted upon us. It creates a probability. That means it could happen, it means it’s a fear you have, and being such your mind protects your psyche in a way to allow you to feel the emotions of the event, even though the event never occurred.

13 reasons why felt like  th main charac like back in sec sch all i wanted was just to finish my olevels and go to poly so i can be a whole new person. someone who i wanted to be withouht anyone laughing at me

1au away from sol 1au measurement unit like light or smthing sol is latin from sun porbbaly it