#and they're already come up with a whole love story for you guys that makes both u and bakugo heat up like OVENS

[theloveinc]

that would be such a wild meet ugly w bkg, like you're crying in the bathroom like you said n the groom barges in n you both start fighting loudly again n bkg tells him to leave you alone n tells his groomsmen to take him away then he tells everyone to go home bc the wedding is over n everyone is like wtf is going on?? n your bridesmaids are like "should we stay n help" n bkg is like "no i'll take care of it" n suddenly it ends with you in your mascara tear stained face, wedding dress all a mess n so dirty at mcdonald's with a pro hero sitting in front of you just staring n making sure ur okay n everyone wondering what went on lollll

RIGHT?!?!

And It's sooooo not Bakugo's bag but for some reason he feels so... not exactly obligated but... that it's the right thing to do to stay, buy you food, and help you pick up all the pieces.

He even helps you out of your dress, lets you wrap up in his spare coat and some pajama pants a bridesmaid left in your get-ready room. You cry when you see the empty venue and all the wilting flowers, but he helps you through that, too, holding you like he's known you for years, mumbling about how "you're never gonna get over it unless you do the work yourself."

He even picks out one of the nicest remaining flowers of your bouquet to send home with you that night, not to remember the day by, but to remember the good that came out of it: you were spared from marrying a "fuckin' loser extra," and you met him, and that can't be all bad, right?

(I think it's a little cliche to say you fall in love that exact night and he leaves you with his number... but you see him again, for sure, maybe dropping off some of your, now unneeded, wedding favors as a thank you gift for him to share with his staff at his agency (which was NOT hard to find, nor to gain entrance to)...

And there you are walking into his office only to be met by a whole handful of little sidekicks, going, "look, guys! It's the bride! It's Dynamight's bride!" as they're all so excited to finally meet the person in the pictures that were taken for the paper, of you and Bakugo sitting in that McDonald's, crying.)

[pomefioredove]

need overblot boys with epel, and floyd with a reader that randomly lore drops as if they're an old dad like "yeah lol my old school had a shooting once....anyways *SNOREE*" and when asked they just agree and walk away and never elaborate whatsoever💀 if you feel uncomfortable feel free to delete or ignore‼️love ya pookie💥

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ a reader with a backstory

I got u 🫡🫡

summary: wacky reader lore type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, floyd, jamil, vil, epel, idia, malleus additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu

you find new ways to raise Riddle's blood pressure every day

little guy is worried enough as it is

you've already got your school work, taking care of Ramshackle, taking care of Grim, taking care of all the other freshmen, taking care of-

well... you get it

the last thing he needs is to hear another one of your stories

"oh, yeah, that's like the time I got stabbed"

"????? WHAT??"

what's entertaining to you and ADeuce is mortifying to Riddle

if you're not careful you'll end up sleeping on the floor in his room

where he can keep a close eye on you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

you're like Leona's little court jester

and he takes you with him everywhere

it's not easy to get a genuine laugh out of him, after all

besides, what's so bad about a little dark humor? it's not like you died or anything

he knows you're a resilient little thing

and you seem to love telling him about "that time you crawled into a drainage pipe", anyway

you make him laugh; he likes you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Azul indulges you

his white noise machine stopped working last month and you make for excellent background ambience

so, he lets you talk yourself in circles about your school work, your friends, Grim, Grim again

and then you drop the most HEINOUS bombshells in the middle

"blah blah blah Grim, blah blah Crowley, blah blah, that one time I got lost in the woods for a day, blah blah-"

he loses his train of thought every time

now, Floyd is the complete opposite

he will hyperfocus on the most mundane details

and ignore the bombshells

will give you an, "oh, that's cool" to your ghost story but will find you the pair of socks you mentioned liking three months ago

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Jamil is just fascinated by you

you as a person, of course

but also the fact that you're still alive

one night, he's explaining the reason he makes all of Kalim's food and you're like

"oh, yeah, I get it. I got mold poisoning once and hallucinated for a week"

?????

then you go right back to asking him about the recipe

sitting on the counter, as happy as could be

"HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!!!"

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Vil is used to this

he knows that look on your face

he will shush you with a finger to your lips before you even start

"don't tell me, I'm stressed enough as it is"

he's going to break out if you keep at it

he finds you quite... macabre

which is entertaining until he sees you going down a flight of stairs without holding onto the railing and remembers all those stories you'd told him

he's just... concerned for you, that's all

and he does NOT appreciate Epel for encouraging it

"tell us more about the time you fell down that hill into that pile of rocks, Prefect!"

:D

like a kid in a candy store

learning new Lore is like the highlight of his week

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

"talk about having a high luck stat..."

Idia is more entertained than anything

he thought these kinds of things only happened in anime, but...

...there you are

it sounds like you experience more in a single month than he has in his whole life

and you know what?

GOOD

you can keep your freaky real-world experiences!

he'll just live vicariously through you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

poor Malleus

he's been putting so much effort into learning and blending with human culture, and now here you are with your terrifying stories

you tell him in such earnest, too

you seem so... unbothered by it

perhaps humans are less fragile than he thought?

of course, he shouldn't have underestimated you in the first place :)!

then you come over for dinner one night

"hahah, yeah, last time I was at someone's house their grandma threw a lamp at my head and I got a concussion"

Silver and Sebek both go >_>

Lilia goes <_<

and then Malleus is there like, "ah, another fascinating tale :)"

[kikyoupdates]

Girlfriend-For-Hire ⭑˚🦋⭑ 𝟶𝟷

yandere!ocs x f!reader

yandere, reverse harem, yandere reverse harem, original characters x fem!reader, slowburn, slowburn yandere

Hoping to try something new and earn a bit of money on the side, you join an app that lets people hire you for your dating services. The idea is pretty straightforward — you pose as the client's girlfriend for a brief period of time, and in turn, you receive payment. But you didn't foresee everyone getting so attached to you, and suddenly, they're no longer satisfied with a fabricated relationship.

story masterlist | next

“...you can do what now?”

“Hire someone to date you,” your friend, Ava, repeats. She chuckles and waves you off dismissively. “Come on, [Name]. It’s the modern age. People are always coming up with new things these days. I’m willing to bet there’s an app or website out there for practically anything.”

You blink in disbelief. Granted, there is all kinds of crazy shit going on in the world, and you’ve heard of companionship services before—like escorts or sugar baby arrangements—but to hear that something like this is trending nowadays is still undeniably a shock. 

“Here, look,” Ava gestures, pulling out her phone. “I was curious, so I downloaded the app the other day just to check out.” 

“Uh, don’t you already have a boyfriend?”

“He knows I was just browsing. I showed him too, and we scrolled through some stuff together. A lot of the profiles on here are wild,” she laughs. “It’s crazy what people advertise they’re willing to do. Get a load of this guy. He says he’s down to meet your family and make a total ass out of himself just so that he lowers your parents’ standards and the next real boyfriend you get will look way better by comparison.”

“Fucking hell,” you mutter. “I can’t tell if this is actually real, or just some new meme template.” 

“Of course it’s real! I think you’re underestimating how lonely people these days are. There’s definitely a lot of money to be made in this industry. Just look at how much people are willing to blow on their favorite streamer, even though they’ve never met them a day in their life. Dating’s gotten a lot more complicated lately, so I guess some people just want to skip past the troublesome parts and experience what it’s like to be with someone.” 

You furrow your brows. The whole thing sounds incredibly sad when you think of it that way. People would rather pay for a fabricated relationship than put in the time and effort towards building something real? Loneliness is starting to sound like an actual epidemic nowadays. 

“Well, I guess I shouldn’t judge people without understanding where they’re coming from,” you acknowledge. “It’s not like I know what they’ve been through. Times are changing and all. It sounds like this is actually starting to become pretty mainstream.” 

Ava nods chipperly. “Yep! I mean, I love my boyfriend, so I’m definitely not the target audience, but maybe it’s what some people need to gain a little boost of confidence and get back into the dating scene. I doubt everyone uses it in a romantic sense too. There are people out there that just want a bit of company every now and then. Isn’t it nice that they have someone to spend time with this way?” 

“Yeah… I guess that’s true.” 

Honestly, you’re still struggling to fully wrap your head around this. You understand the premise well enough, but you can’t really get past the part about accepting payment just to provide someone with a fabricated experience. Then again, you suppose that’s the case for most things nowadays. People are willing to spend the brunt of their earnings on in-game purchases for video games and other things that aren’t tangible in the real world, because even though they aren’t necessarily organic, it still provides them with some satisfaction. 

Long story short, it’s not up to you to decide what does or doesn’t make someone else happy, and you suppose as long as it’s executed in a professional manner, there’s nothing wrong with meeting new people this way. 

“Hey, I’ve got a great idea,” Ava suddenly perks up. “You should join this app! You’re super pretty, smart, and nice. I bet you’d have loads of guys lining up to hire you as their girlfriend!”

“Me?” You blink repeatedly, shuffling backwards the closer she leans in. “I mean, I just don’t think I’m the right person for the job. If it makes people happy, then I support it, but deep down, I worry I’d feel like I’m exploiting someone’s feelings just for a few extra bucks. Morally speaking, I’m not so sure I like the idea…” 

“It’s not exploitation,” she insists. “People know what they’re signing up for. At the end of the day, it’s a buyer-seller relationship. Someone pays for the service being advertised, and they receive it. As long as you’re not ambiguous about what you’re willing to do for the amount that you’re charging, people know what to expect. Of course, I’m sure there might be the occasional asshole here and there, but if they do anything inappropriate or violate the terms, you can report them through the app and they’ll be banned from using it.” 

You’re not quite sure how to respond to that. Some extra money would be nice. You’re a university student with all sorts of loans, so it’s not like you’ve got excess cash lying around. And it’s also true that you’ve been looking to apply for a new job lately, since your old manager was a total ass and you ended up quitting. 

Still. A girlfriend-for-hire? Someone like you? It’s just really difficult to imagine. 

“I actually think it’d be a good experience,” Ava goes on. “You’ve never really put yourself out there before. I know everyone dates at their own pace and stuff, but you shouldn’t have to be afraid. Who knows? Maybe you’ll meet some cool people and want to date them for real. And even if you don’t end up going for them, you still make some money, so either way, you’ve got nothing to lose.”

You chuckle weakly. “Yeah, I just don’t know. I feel like I’m better suited for traditional jobs. But thanks for the vote of confidence. I’m glad you think people would actually be willing to pay to date me.” 

“Girl, you seriously need to believe in yourself more,” Ava sighs. “I’m telling you, you’re a catch. But at the end of the day, it’s your call. You shouldn’t force yourself into anything if you feel uncomfortable.”

You smile and nod in agreement, and sensing your discomfort, Ava decides to change the topic.

But for some reason, you feel a twinge in your chest, and it’s hard to keep your mind from wandering.

Later that same day, you’re lounging on the couch, mouth agape, having just downloaded the app on your own phone. 

“What the hell am I doing…?” 

You tell yourself that it’s just simple curiosity. Yeah. That’s all it is. Ava piqued your interest earlier, and now you just want to scroll through in more detail to get a better sense of what kind of people use this platform. 

The app is called ‘Partner For Hire’. The name isn’t particularly inspired, you have to admit, but you suppose it communicates its point rather effectively and leaves no room for ambiguity. Ultimately, this is a transactional relationship, and it’s probably for the best that clients know what to expect. 

You can use the app as either a buyer or seller. Meaning that you can create your profile and advertise your services, or simply list yourself as a prospective client and what your hobbies and interests are. In that sense, it’s kind of similar to most dating apps, since you have to take a flattering photo to go along with whatever blurb you’re providing. Of course, just because you try to solicit someone’s services doesn’t mean there’s any guarantee they’ll accept. This is an app where you can run everything yourself, and of course the company takes a cut of your profits, rather than an agency that matches you with a client regardless of whether you want to accept the job or not. 

There’s definitely a lot of flexibility, and you can easily choose who you want to pretend to date. If someone is interested in hiring you, they submit a request to be able to contact you, and once you accept, you can message them directly and establish the terms of the dating contract, such as the length and what particular services will be provided. 

You scroll through the list of boyfriends/girlfriends being advertised on the app, and honestly, it seems like there’s a decent amount of money to be made. Of course, a lot of that comes with building a good reputation and improving your ratings and visibility so more people will want to hire you, but it actually seems like a decent amount of people are able to make a living off this sort of thing. 

You bite down on your lower lip. Should you really go ahead and just do it? Like Ava said, there’s probably not much to lose. All the transactions are managed on the app, so you can easily report people who try to skip out on paying. Clients have to link their banking and personal info, so they’d be taking on a big risk by trying to scam people. You’re sure it might happen from time to time, but based on the reviews you’ve read, the company is really good at enforcing their policies and making sure everyone gets paid.

The money seems good, and it would definitely help take some pressure off your student loans, but ultimately, the biggest thing you’re struggling with is your moral compass.

People are willing to spend money for this kind of thing, and that’s entirely their choice to make, so it’s not like you’re extorting them or anything. Still… you wonder if it’s actually okay to profit off of someone else’s loneliness. You’ve never worked the kind of job that requires you to cater directly to another person’s emotions, and it kind of freaks you out.

But maybe Ava is right. There are all sorts of people in this world. Maybe some of them are just curious to try the app out. Maybe others just want to get their families off their back by pretending like they’re dating someone for a little while. There’s no way to discern everyone’s motivations, so perhaps there’s really no point in thinking about it at all. 

Most importantly, this could be a good thing for you. Life has been stagnant recently, and it’s true that you usually hesitate to put yourself out there. You’ll never learn what you do or don’t like if you keep on avoiding everything. This could be a chance to learn a lot about other people, but also, to learn more about yourself. 

Yeah. It’s time to stop overthinking for a change and just try something new. 

Thus, feeling unusually determined, you spend the rest of the day setting up your profile (finding nice selfies was the longest part of the whole ordeal), and with a resolved huff, you post it and officially go live on the app. 

You’re not really sure what you were expecting, but needless to say, there isn’t any immediate feedback. It probably takes a while for people to stumble across your profile, and even then, there’s no guarantee they’ll want to go out with you. 

I guess I was getting worked up for no reason. Certain people might find success with this kind of thing, but it’s probably not as easy as it looks. 

You scratch your cheek, suddenly sheepish over how needlessly excited you got earlier. You’re not used to stepping out of your comfort zone, so you must have gotten a bit carried away. 

For the rest of the evening, you set your phone aside and come back to reality. You get some homework done, make dinner, and by the time you’re ready for bed, you’ve pretty much forgotten about the whole thing altogether. 

That is, until you check and see that you’ve missed a notification.

“Huh? Someone viewed my profile and wants to message me?”

You’re undeniably taken aback. Not just because it’s happening a lot sooner than you expected, but also because it means that contrary to what you first thought, people are interested in you. 

Having minimal experience when it comes to dating and romance in general, you have to admit, the thought of being viewed as desirable is immensely flattering. 

Curious to see who wants to hire your services, you click on the user’s profile.

His name is Isaac, and he’s twenty-one years old, set to complete his undergraduate studies at the end of the year. He goes to a different university than yours, thankfully, because you can’t help but feel like it would be incredibly awkward to bump into him on campus after pretending to be his girlfriend. He’s studying to become a doctor, which means he’s still got a lot of school ahead of him, but you’ve always had a lot of admiration for people who are willing to commit to their goals and work hard. 

Also, even though you don’t want to sound shallow or anything… he’s really, really attractive. 

You frown. Granted, there’s more to a person than their appearance, but based on how he comes across in his profile and what his future career is, he doesn’t strike you as the type of person who would struggle to date someone.

But again, you can never know what’s going on in a stranger’s life. And there’s no real way to find out why he decided to join the app.

Apart from speaking to him directly, of course. 

[𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬?]

>>[𝐘𝐄𝐒]

After a momentary delay, the screen loads into a messaging interface, allowing you to see what Isaac sent you and respond to him directly.  

You stare at the messages without blinking, just taking it all in. So, there really are people like him out there, who use these apps for reasons other than seeking companionship. It sounds like he’s not too interested in dating for real, but his parents are putting a lot of pressure on him, so he just wants an escape. Honestly, you can’t blame him for it. Your parents were overbearing for the better portion of your life—even now, as an adult—so you can understand just how suffocating it gets at times.

All of a sudden, you don’t feel too bad about accepting the job. It doesn’t feel like exploitation in the slightest. In fact, you’d be helping someone resolve a frustration situation, while getting paid in the process. It actually sounds like it could be rather fulfilling. 

More importantly, you decided to be more confident and try something new. You refuse to back out now. 

You stare at the messages without blinking, just taking it all in. So, there really are people like him out there, who use these apps for reasons other than seeking companionship. It sounds like he’s not too interested in dating for real, but his parents are putting a lot of pressure on him, so he just wants an escape. Honestly, you can’t blame him for it. Your parents were overbearing for the better portion of your life—even now, as an adult—so you can understand just how suffocating it gets at times. 

All of a sudden, you don’t feel too bad about accepting the job. It doesn’t feel like exploitation in the slightest. In fact, you’d be helping someone resolve a frustration situation, while getting paid in the process. It actually sounds like it could be rather fulfilling. 

More importantly, you decided to be more confident and try something new. You refuse to back out now. 

[𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞]:

You’re admittedly a bit nervous, especially since you want to do a good job and avoid letting him down, but mostly, you’re feeling excited. All of this is uncharted territory for you, after all. Never in a million years would you have imagined taking on a job like this. 

And you really shouldn’t have.

You don’t know it yet, but this will be the cause of many, many regrets. 

Shit. I’m starting to have second thoughts. 

Even now, you still can’t believe you’re really going through with this. After talking to Isaac and ironing out the finer details, you agreed to join him for a family gathering and pose as his girlfriend. You expected for him to have quite a few requests, but luckily, he seems pretty laid back about the whole thing. The better portion of your conversation was spent on getting your stories straight so as not to incur any suspicion, and since you’ve always been a good student and a hard worker, you promptly memorized everything there was to know. 

And now, it’s finally time to put this plan in motion. 

“Hey,” Isaac greets. “[Name], right?”

It’s the evening, since his parents are hosting a dinner party. The event is supposed to be pretty casual, but you still dressed up semi-formal in the hopes of making a good impression. He never explicitly mentioned how strict his parents are, but since they’ve been on his case about getting a girlfriend, it never hurts to go the extra mile. 

"Hi, Isaac,” you smile. “It’s so nice to meet you.” 

“You, too,” he nods. He’s considerably taller than you, and every bit as handsome as his picture suggested. Unless his personality is god-awful (which you probably would’ve picked up on after messaging him for so long), you’ve got a good feeling that most girls would be interested in him.

Still, everyone is different. He might have really high standards, or maybe he wants to focus on his studies, or perhaps it’s just a case of having never met the right person. Whatever the reason may be, his parents shouldn’t be pressuring him to date someone, and if you have the means to help him out, you’ll happily do it. 

“You look really nice,” Isaac says. He tilts his head to the side. “I hope you didn’t feel like you had to dress up to impress anyone. The most important part is that they believe I’m seeing someone so that they finally ease up a bit.” 

“Oh, I just did this for my own peace of mind,” you reassure. “I made sure to memorize everything you told me in advance, so I’m confident I can convince them that we’re the real deal. Even though this is technically my first day on the job… I promise not to let you down.” 

You blush, feeling rather flustered. The idea of being someone’s hired girlfriend is still a lot to wrap your head around, and you certainly don’t want to make empty promises, but you have every intention of giving it your best shot. Isaac is in a stressful situation, and you’re resolved to do whatever you can to fix it. 

“Can’t wait to get this over with,” Isaac sighs. He opens the passenger door and gestures for you to step inside the car. “Don’t worry. I know you might be feeling a bit uneasy, but I promise I’m not a serial killer or anything like that. I won’t hold it against you if you have 911 ready on speed dial until we get to my parents’ house.” 

“I trust you,” you insist. “I’ve heard good things about this app, and it sounds like they take safety seriously. They’ve got your information in their system, after all. Plus, I can tell that you’re a nice guy. It’s just a gut feeling.”

“I appreciate it,” he smiles. “Anyways… I guess I’ve stalled for long enough. You can probably tell that I really don’t feel like going. But the sooner I get them off my back, the better.” 

“I’ll be the best girlfriend you can ask for,” you beam. 

It’s a promise to him, but also to yourself. You are committed to taking this new job seriously, and for the rest of the evening, you will do whatever it takes to blend into the role that’s been thrust upon you. There’s no reason to get worked up. At the end of the day, all of this is pretend. It won’t be anywhere near as complicated as a real relationship.

Right?

story masterlist | next

Enjoying the story so far? More chapters are available on Quotev!

⊱.⋅follow + post notifications on for story update announcements or join the author's discord!⋅.⊰

🦋 main masterlist ♡ character appearances

[moviecritc]

fearless ⋆ alex albon

pairing: alex albon x driver!reader

summary: your boyfriend and you disguise your relationship as friendship a little too well

warnings: none, just pure fluff

a/n: this is short and maybe a little bit messy, sorry i'm not effortlestly funny

english is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes

masterlist | wattpad | letterboxd

yourusername just posted!

liked by flavy.barla, alexalbon and 75,194 others

yourusername P3 IN MIAMI RAAAAHHH 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅 I LOVE AMERICA SO MUCH 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 TF IS A KM I ONLY KNOW MILESSSSSS 🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠

ps. goodbye goodbye goodbye meme of nowins you were bigger than the whole skyyy

tagged; flavy.barla, alexalbon

yourusername btw that's my new gf flavy, sorry ocon she's mine now 👰👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

flavy.barla 💋👭 estebanocon wait what did i miss yourusername nothing you can leave actually

user1 SHE'S JUST IN ANOTHER LEVEL

user2 best driver in the grid fr user3 nah she's talentless user4 she literally made a podium yesterday you prick

alexalbon wHAT ON EARTH IS THAT PIC

yourusername shh you look wonderful albono alexalbon i look like a minion yourusername AHAHAHA IT'S TRUE YOU'RE KEVIN alexalbon who's kevin yourusername ... a minion alexalbon why d'you know the names of the minions? user5 nah alex you left her speechless

charlesleclerc congrats on your podium, y/n!

landonorris i appreciate the effort 😅

yourusername ANYWAYS IT'S TECNICALLY NOWIN(S) SO IT'S STILL UPPPP landonorris oh lord

user6 i'm actually so jealous of the friendship of alex and y/n

user7 i'm new here someone explain me the lore plss user8 so y/n and alex have known each other since literally always? they started karting at the same age and were teammates in f2, then they got into f1 in the same year. they've always been super super close, they even shared an apartment in london a few years ago. and basically when they're around each other is a complete chaos, that's why they don't do media days together so often user9 their gossip sessions in media days back then >>>> user10 omg yes i'll never forget when alex almost choke on water after y/n told him she wished he was bald bc she didn't like his bleached hair LMAOOO

scuderiaferrari Let's go!!

user11 anyone else noticing the flowers

user12 not this again, they're probably from her mother, she always receives flowers when she's in the points 🙄 user13 the audacity of these people user12 i swear they try to link her to any guy she interacts for 0.5 secs

alexalbon just posted a story!

[caption: i might be a minion but she's a freaking gremlin @yourusername]

replies

yourusername you're dead. you're so dead

alexalbon i love you babyyy 😍🥰😍🥰😍🥰

yourusername i don't. i'm going to make you eat all the flowers

alexalbon y/n you're so mental for your height. like, so many anger inside of you

yourusername yeah it's true 😞 i'll get even with your minion face

alexalbon ok from now on we're just seeing each other in public spaces. i love youuu byeeeee 😇😇😘😘

yourusername just posted a story!

[caption: YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND ON MY GALLERY AHSHAHQURJFJSHAHD]

replies

user1 someone get this girl a pr manager 😂😂

alexalbon Y/N L/N-ALBON.

yourusername lol what. if that's your way of asking me to marry you... dude you can do it better

alexalbon I WAS TRYING TO BE A COOL BOYFRIEND

yourusername aww. but you're not, and i don't want to marry you you're like my getaway car

alexalbon YOUR GETAWAY CAR FROM WHO?? you barely interact with men

yourusername YEAH BC INTERACTING WITH MEN IS ANNOYING, like look at this. just shut up already

alexalbon WELL OK BYE. LET'S SEE WHO BUYS YOU HIGH QUALITY MOCHIS NOW

yourusername wait albono come back. let's get married or something

yourusername just posted!

liked by alexalbon, georgerussell63 and 52,512 others

yourusername anyone knows this man?? he's been staring at me the whole flight and asking me if i have bananas

tagged; alexalbon

view all comments

user1 no bc if alex looked at my like this i would probably fall in love

liked by yourusername

user2 Y/N LIKED??

georgerussell63 oh blimey so here he is!

yourusername george pls take him, he's annoying me with photo of his 275423 cats alexalbon Y/N YOU LOVE MY CATS yourusername yeah ig i have to user3 i'm starting to think that these two have more than a friendship going on

alexalbon just posted a story!

[caption: came threatened but this is actually a blast]

replies

yourusername alex i'm going to post something don't panic

alexalbon y/n i'm literally by your side tf are you texting

yourusername just posted!

liked by alexalbon, logansargeant and 93,512 others

yourusername woke up today and choose to be fearless. anyways, eras tour with my biiitch <3333 🤩🤩

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georgerussell63 everybody act surprised now!!

user1 OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT

user2 this was sOOO UNEXPECTED LIKE WHAT???

user3 ARE WE GOING CRAZY WHAT IS THIS??

alexalbon OMG WHAAAT

yourusername not you idiot you should comment something cute about me alexalbon but you're not cute. actually, at all. you're a fucking menace yourusername minion.

landonorris FINALLY

maxverstappen1 thank god i was getting tired of thirdwheeling

charlesleclerc we all were yourusername oh shut up go kiss or something user4 THIS GIRL-

carlossainz55 congrats, mates

yourusername why are you congratulations us like alex is pregnant or something alexalbon y/n stop

logansargeant you should join us in the podcast the next episode 😊

yourusername OMG YESS I HAVE SO MANY SHIT TO TALK ABOUT ALEX alexalbon pls don't yourusername dw babe i won't!! (logan dm and we record it without him)

[foone]

whats your favourite narnia book if you have one

Since I grew up as an autistic christian, I have many Narnia Opinions!

So, my favorite book for it's own reasons is probably The Magician's Nephew. I'm always a slut for worldbuilding and backstory and that novel is basically just only that. Some guy we know from another book goes on an adventure and in the process gets to be involved with the creation of one world and the destruction of another? kick-ass.

Best book to adapt? The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. 1988 BBC version, 1979 Cartoon version, 2005 theatrical? All good, in their own ways. The BBC version is just perfectly 80s and the costumes are amazing (because they are costumes! they did all the monsters by sticking a guy in a big costume and I love it), the cartoon version captures the fucking whimsy of a story where SANTA SHOWS UP AND GIVES EVERYONE PRESENTS and the first person to offer any serious lore about the situation is named MR BEAVER. And the 2005 film has the big battles and CGI and Tilda Swinton as the White Witch which is... so much. I love them all.

But the best book adaptation is the 1990 BBC The Silver Chair. Hands down. It's got Tom Baker's Puddleglum, Warwick Davis playing an owl, 0£ BBC budget greenscreened giants (MULTIPLE TIMES), a group of people discovering IT'S A COOKBOOK and one of them being offended by the cookbook saying they don't taste very good, the bad guy turning into a giant rubber snake. a witch trying to gaslight some humans into believing the sun is a myth, and the ultimate salvation of Eustace Scrubb: a boy who almost deserved being named that.

And since I can't not list basically everything Narnia ever made, BBC's 1989 Prince Caspian and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is pretty good too. It's a fun "road movie", in that it's an odyssey into a fictional Mysterious Ocean of Here There Be Dragons.

Lotta hits in that one. It's also got a "collect the macguffins!" plot where they're trying to collect the Seven Lost Lords.

But yeah, it's like... the first Island gets them a lord and they get to end slavery. Next up, Dragon TF island (The dragon is Greed... but it's also just a literal fucking dragon). Next, Gold TF island. Gold, it turns out, makes you go insane in your lust for wealth, even if you're already a Prince of a whole country. The gold is Greed, but it will also just fucking kill you because you'll be turned into gold.

Then it's the island of the ugly invisible one-foot guys and it turns out they cast a spell to turn invisible so no one could see how they're ugly but they're not ugly, they just think they are? and then it goes "HEY LUCY COMPARE YOURSELF TO YOUR OLDER SISTER" and she's like "I'm ugly.... unlike her. Maybe I should use magic to STEAL HER BEAUTY?!" and it's like, wow. Is there maybe a theme here about self-esteem in your appearance? and Clive Officemax Lewis is over there going I'LL NEVER TELL.

Anyway it's got the good line about how the Wizard in charge of the ugly invisible one-footed pogo-idiots is that how he eagerly awaits the day that they can be ruled by wisdom, instead of magic. It's a fun approach to magic: it's something that is a shortcut, a crutch, and it's a poor replacement for Wisdom, even when used by "the good guys". Tell me, Mr. FedexKinkos-Lewis, do you have any opinions on the complicated relationship between Christianity and magic? oh, you do? I never would have guessed!

They also find The Island Where Dreams Come True. They don't land there, they just fish a screaming man out of the ocean who is trying to escape it. The sailors hear it's The Island Where Dreams Come True and are like "wow, I could have my own ship!" and he yells no, you fools, not dreams like your wishes and imaginations, your actual dreams come true on this island.

and everyone agrees: Get us the fuck away from this island and lets never return.

Anyway I'm not gonna talk about THE ENTIRE MOVIE/BOOK but it's got a great weirdness at the end where they reach the end of the world (which is flat. It's okay, this is Narnia, a completely different world with different physical rules than Earth), and it's a waterfall, but a waterfall going up?

It turns out Heaven is on the other side of it. They turn around, but the anthropomorphic mouse is like "ehh, I'll take that journey" and becomes the Elijah of Aslan's Country, their equivalent of heaven.

Narnia, won't you?

[junnieverse]

— DRUNK BOYFRIEND JAKE ! 💭

➙ drunk boyfriend jake thoughts

pairing: jake sim x gn!reader

genre: fluff, some humour/crack

request: " hcs abt clingy drunk jake bc he seems like a clingy drunk LOLLL "

warning: mentions of alcohol and drinking, not proofread, lowercase intended, reader accused of being a 'kidnapper' by drunk jake

a/n: I honestly wouldn't mind drunk jake, clingy cute jake is my favourite, thanks for this request anon, hope you enjoyed it :)

jake was already clingy when he was sober, but he becomes 100 times clingier when he's drunk be it around you or his friends (mostly with you though)

so much more affectionate with you, always wanting kisses and hugs and gets pouty when you don't give him

extremely talkative

like he's a motor and he will mention the most random and silly things that most of the time are slurred and don't make sense

definition of talking just to talk

probably singing Justin Beiber songs at the top of his lungs on top of a chair

"WHEN I WAS 13, I HAD MY FIRST LOVE SHSGDGGSJSISNDB ABOVE! SHE HAD ME GOING CRAZY- what's the rest again?"

starts from the top singing another pop song and turns the entire place into a jake karaoke session

super giggly and out of it to the point where the others are concerned and they end up calling you to come get him

when you do come around he may forget who you are in a daze

"STRANGER DANGER! HELP ME, THEY'RE TRYING TO KIDNAP ME!"

"Jake baby, it's just me, have some water to sober up."

also a stubborn and pouty baby

accuses you of ruining the fun and being a party pooper

when he does give in and starts recognising you he will be all over you with the sloppiest kisses

"Guys, my lovely (y/n) is here! Hi baby, when did you arrive?"

you'd been there the entire time but he was too drunk to notice

"Crazy story though, I almost got kidnapped before you got here but you came to save me." he says with a sheepish smile

"I'll always save you angel." you tell him kissing his forehead laughing softly at your drunk boyfriend

jake is glued to you now with his arms around you and his head on your shoulder

he ends up going from 100 to 0 real quick

all that energy he had before disappears and he becomes quieter and sleepier

in the end he probably just passes out and one of the other members has to help you get this big boy into the car for you

he wakes up to find a whole bunch of embarrassing photos and videos of him doing the oddest things

I'm talking about a video of him sent by sunghoon hugging a streetlight claiming it was you

he will never hear the end of it from both his friends and you for the next coming weeks

jake learnt his lesson and he'll be sure to be more watchful of his drinking now

[tizeline]

Ahhh waiiit!!! Is this some really fun like foreshadowing stuff (though we already know the foreshadowed stuff) where you put Leo and Raph facing away from Draxum to symbolise them turning on his ideals first????? And like Leo is in the shadows cause I guess he‘s really formed his own opinion about Donnie and destroying the humans while Raph doesn‘t share his beliefs but still follows him!! And Mikey is facing Draxum symbolising that he and Drax are still gonna pursue their dreams of getting rid of the humans?? Is that what this is?????✨

You're like the third person so far to point out the potential foreshadowing in this panel, which lemme tell ya, is very funny considering it was basically entirely unintentional on my part! XD

BUT!!! I am a firm believer that the audience can find meaning in a piece of art regardless of whether it was intended by the creator or not, and I'm honestly loving your analasys because dammit it works!

That being said, I drew Mikey looking to Draxum for reassurance, while Raph remains more internally contemplative because I thought it fit their personalities. Then again, their differing personalities obviously also effect their actions later on in the story when they're forced to confront their flawed ideology, so in that way this panel kinda naturally parallels their whole character arcs?

NGL, I very much threw Leo into the panel last minute haha. In the panel before, he was still sitting on the ground-

-and the way I drew the perspective in the following panel led to Draxum blocking the view of him. But then it felt weird that he was the only one not visible so I squeezed him into the background right at the end lol (I guess he decided to stand up or whatever). As a result, he's not as clearly visible, but it does kinda work in my opinion. Both in the way that you pointed out, him being turned away from Draxum foreshadows to him turning his back on their mission. But my own thought process when drawing him this way was less metaphorical and more focused on wanting to portray Leo's current emotional state. Leo is arguably the most upset about Donnie rejecting them, which is why he after this starts acting so hostile towards his estranged brother, and while I'm not putting a ton on focus on Leo's reaction specifically in this part of the comic, I still wanted to include it. All of this is to say, Leo is standing with his back turned towards the rest of his family and obscured in shadows because he's being angsty. Lmao.

ANYWAY, that was my actual thought process while drawing this, but I want to make it clear yet again that I absolutely love that you guys are coming up with your own interpretations because fuck yeah!!!

[colie-nne]

i-c-o-n-i-c part 1

pairing: lewis hamilton x fem!reader | instagram au

summary: what it feels like to be the most iconic yet controversial couple in the paddock.

warning: implied age gap, other than that none.

requested: yes | no - REQUESTS ARE OPEN

a/n: so uhm this is part one, planned to post the whole thing but it came to be too long so i'm separating this into two. Hope you like it!!

yourusername added to their story

(caption: hello, monaco🇲🇨)

Daily WAG updates

158,219 likes

Daily WAG updates Lewis Hamilton's new girlfriend, Y/n L/n, was seen entering the paddock for the Monaco Grand Prix qualifying sessions, three months after confirming their relationship. (photos are from Twitter and y/n's latest story: yourusername)

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user a lewis girl, it's been so long omy!!!🤍

user is it true that she's younger than him

user yes! people say she's only in her early twenties user i heard she was... user OH WHAT?

user another one using the drivers for fame 🤮🤮🤮

lewishamilton

liked by georgerussell63, mickschumacher and 1,540,965 others

lewishamilton Great race today, experienced a few mishaps but everything ended up good. Nice work coming from the team, who's always giving their best. Felt real support and love this weekend. Merci, Monaco 🇲🇨. (28/05/2023)

view all 5,978 comments

yourusername always the greatest ❤️

lewishamilton 😘 user i can't believe she got lewis to use that emoji, so cute!!! user the support he's missing has arrived

user and he has posted her....

user wanna bet that he'll drop her in a few weeks? user you do know they've been together for almost a year before going public right?

yourusername

liked by lewishamilton, mercedesamgf1 and 67,920 others

yourusername Thank you for the experience, Monaco. See you!

also, lewishamilton can i have your number? 🫣

view all 3,022 comments

lewishamilton nope, sorry ❤️

georgerussell63 no, he's already with me yourusername oh ok❤️ user not george fighting for lewis 😂

user his smile !!! and that last pic, they're so cute

user don't you guys find it weird that she's closer to george and mick's age, yet she's dating him?

user she's an adult, she knows what she's doing. user yeah, she knows how to spend his money😒

mercedesamgf1 we can give you his number in exchange for those cookies you brought last time.

yourusername sure!! great, thank you!!😊 user i like how his team likes her with lewis

Daily WAG updates

99,073 likes

Daily WAG updates Y/n L/n spotted shopping around Monte Carlo with Mercedes' Lewis Hamilton (02/06/2023)

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user and there goes his money

user her family is known in the business industry and that y/n herself is a businesswoman, i don't think she needs lewis' money tbh

user what a golddigger at such a young age

user Y/n's so pretty!! i see why lewis is with her

user yeah, she's also very sweet, cause I happen to be there when they were shopping and when I asked lewis for a picture she asked me if she could take it instead!! she also gave me that cookie his team was raving on about

user their age difference still bothers me... he's like 13 years older than her

user but they did say they met when she was 20 so nothing's wrong user i still think it's too big of an age gap

lewishamilton

liked by carlossainz55, georgerussell63 and 1,875,289 others

lewishamilton Silver in Spain 💥💥 Great work from everyone as always. Congratulations on a good race to georgerussell63 as well. Felt the support and love this weekend as well. Thank you for the team and yourusername❤️ for being there !! Some post race and after party pics (04/06/2023)

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user the heart!!! the heart oooooo!! congrats to lewis and george!!

user the are the it couple!! very very iconic, always serving

yourusername i will always be there for you, my heart

lewishamilton as i to you user this is so sweet it's making me sick carlossainz55 now show love to my bucket hat

user the support and motivation y/n gives lewis is phenomenal, she should attend the races so we can see our man be p1 again

user why is she always with lewis?? all she does is pose around the paddock

user uhm because they're together? user they should really break up at this point. i also can't see lewis settling with someone much younger than him user are we really still talking about the age gap or you're just saying that to throw hate on y/n??

Daily WAG updates

263,259 likes

Daily WAG updates After being inactive for weeks, Y/n has made her account private. Lewis has yet made a statement after the hate thread the two has been receiving. (28/06/2023)

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user i feel so sad for her, the fact that they had to hide their relationship for almost a year and the time they chose to public you've doubled up on the hate train. ya'll just jealous of her at this point.

user oh no!!! people be calling themselves fans of Lewis but will make his love ones go on private because of your delusional asses.

user FINALLY!!! Now, i just need the announcement that they broke up. it doesn't need to be today, tomorrow, or next week i just need it to happen.

user girl... are you sick? user no you guys are cause that girl was obviously using lewis and his money for her own gains user you guys literally bullied the poor girl into hiding.

user i wonder what lewis have to say after all this... i'm deeply sadden by the suddent course of this, nothing like i expected.

user so this is the reason she hasn;t been posting lately... hoping she'll come back when she's ready, i'll miss seeing her posts with lewis they're adorable.

[prettypinkporkchop]

Can you do a Plus!Size!Reader x Paul Lahote?

I’m thinking, reader who is Bella’s sister, has been friends with Jacob for years (stayed with Charlie) and she’s always had this massive crush on Paul. Since she is insecure about her weight/ looks, she always avoided Paul at all costs, embarrassing herself too.

One day, she gets dragged by Bella when Bella is mad Jacob. This is where Bella slaps Paul across the face. The reader stays in the truck but when this happens, she gets out of the truck to stop Bella. Paul phases which scares Bella and Reader but he then imprints on reader.

For a while their relationship is just friends (per readers request) until Paul kinda snaps in frustration because he wants to be more and he knows reader wants it too. Lots of fluff and reassurance that the reader is worthy enough for Paul.

Thank you so much, your writing is just amazing and I think you would write this really well ❤️

You're More Than Your Body

A/n: my thick queens!!! I know for a fact that Paul would be obsessed with them thighs! Oh lawd I can see it already!!! BTW I FREAKING LOVE THIS STORY I AM SO BOOSTING MY EGO BC I DID SO GOOD IN THIS! PLZ, I LOVE IT!

Warning: bad language

Paul. Paul. Paul. Nobody runs through your head like Paul. Even now that you're graduated and so is he, you see him around town. Especially since you and Bella are close with Jacob.

You stare in the body mirror in your bedroom, grabbing your stomach in hopes it'll disappear. It would make this outfit look so much better... your heart pounds as tears want to explode from your eyes. The pain of being the "funny fat friend" and always being the butt end of the joke your whole life has really been weighing on you. Even now, as an adult and being stuck on a guy since school.

"I need you to come with me. This is serious." Bella barges in your room.

"Oh, so the sad girl speaks to me now?" You glare at her.

"Look, I'm sorry for ignoring you and charl-.. dad, it's just been.." She stops knowing that you know what she means.

"Edward. Yeah." You roll your eyes and then smile at her. "Okay, what you got?" You ask.

"Jake has been away. They're saying he's sick. I have to see him." She says.

"He's probably tired of you stringing him along." You reply.

She shakes her head and then walks over to you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you down the stairs.

"Uh! Hey! Stop!" You yell.

"I don't want to go alone." She looks at you, still holding your wrist.

"Fine." You sigh.

You both get in her raggedy truck. She speeds up to Billy's house. The car ride was mostly her panicking, and you telling her to slow the Frick down. But, she pulls in with both of you alive. She gets out of the truck and enters past Billy. He sees you sitting in the truck, and you awkwardly wave.

The sound of whistles is heard toward the trees next to the house. You look over and see Jared, Paul, Sam, and Embry. Your heart races as your eyes fixate on Paul. They don't see you. It seems like they're calling for Jacob.

Bella barges out and goes over to them. Your mind blanks out with what is happening. You notice they're yelling and Paul is getting angry. You decide to be the protective older sister and run out of the truck.

"Bella!" You yell and make your way over there. As you get closer, she slaps him. "BELLA WHAT THE HELL?!" You grab her arm.

Paul is snarling. His body seems to get bigger. Next thing you know, he's a wolf. A silver wolf growling at Bella. She falls on the ground, and you stare at the monster. He looks at you and stops snarling. He whimpers.

"BELLA!" Jacob runs out and turns into a wolf, too.

This caught Paul's attention, and they began to fight, wrestling into the woods. You're breathing heavy in fear, but look down at Bella. She's confused and looking at Sam.

"Hey, bring these girls to Emily's place." Sam orders.

"Guess the wolf's out of the bag." Embry mumbles.

That's when you learn everything. Emily and Bella go on a tangent about it all. Embry is cracking jokes, and Jared is kicking him under the table for spilling too much to a 'leech lover'.

Paul walks inside and sits on the chair beside you. He turns back to Bella. "Sorry." He smirks and eats the muffins that are placed on the table. His eyes roam up and meet yours.

You pause. Is he really looking at you?

He sets the muffin down before rubbing his hands on his shorts. He extends a hand and smiles at you. "Paul." He says.

"Yeah, I know." You smile and shakily let your hand reach his. You feel warmth fill up your body. You know your cheeks are burning red.

His smile fades, and he lets go of your hand. "You know me?" He asks, as if he's guilty for not knowing you.

"Yeah. School. We graduated the same year and... you were quite popular with the girls." You snort.

He gulps and looks down. "Yes. Yes, I was." He seems so guilty. But his face turns back to you with a smile. "What's your name?" He asks.

You go to speak but Embry interrupts. "That's y/n. Leech lover's sister." He laughs.

Paul glares at him. "I'd like for her to answer that herself."

Embry lifts his hands up in defense. "Aight, chief. Or should I say.... imprinter..." He snorts.

Jared hits the back of his head. "Bro! That's Paul's story to tell!" He yells.

Sam enters and glares at Embry. "Stop it." He turns to Paul and smiles. "Welcome to the club." He takes Emily by the waist and kisses her.

"What's an imprinter? I'm confused.." You smile and look around awkwardly.

---

"Friends?" You smile at him.

He stares out at the beach, the waves crashing, and the wind blowing. "Yes. I'm sorry for not noticing you. I'm sorry for everything." He turns to face you. "Friends." He smiles.

You sigh of relief and look out at the water. You want more but you're too big for him in your mind. You accepted the bond, but maybe friends will do. At least you'll be around him, and it won't be so bad.

"C'mon. Let's go get food." He stands up and takes out a hand for you.

Yes. You've barely eaten today, and it's four pm. You take his hand, and he helps you stand up. When you're on your feet, he grabs your waist to steady you. That touch has you SPINNING.

"Where do you want to go?" He asks.

"Hm, I'm totally feeling burgers." You giggle.

"Oh, fuck yeah! My kind of girl!" He yells and takes your hand, kissing your knuckles.

He leads you to his truck and takes you to a small diner. It's actually the one you, dad, and Bella used to go to growing up. Now that she's back, the trips here have been more frequent.

He opens your door and helps you out by holding your waist. He seems to love grabbing you there. Honestly, you don't mind, but at the same time, them love handles are ugly to you. He leads you inside and you both get a seat and order.

Paul looks over your face.

You awkwardly look around and smile while blushing. "What?" You ask.

"Nothing." He chuckles and sips his Dr. Pepper. "What's it like being Bella's sister?" He asks.

"Nothing but drama. But I love her. She's very giving to family." You smile.

He nods. "I don't have anyone but my asshole father. I don't live with him, thank God." He rolls his eyes.

Your heart aches for him. You can't imagine not having anyone. "I'm so sorry." You reach out and touch his hand.

His eyes dart toward your contact, and he smiles. "Nah, it's no big deal. I have my boys."

"I guess that makes things better." You smile and let his hand go.

The waitress places your guys' food down, and you both enjoy the night getting to know each other.

It's dark out now, and you're in his truck watching the roads as he brings you home. You're startled when you feel a hand on your thigh. You look down and see his fingers on your flesh. His thumb is rubbing your skin. You look over at his face. He's just watching the road.

---

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Paul is at your window. You know it's him because he HAS to show up every night after patrol. You get up from the bed and open your window. He climbs up and closes it behind him. He hovers over you with a smile.

"Hey." He whispers, pushing hair behind your ear.

"Hey." You blush and soak in the warmth of his body heat.

He slowly leans in, looking in your eyes and then to your lips. No. No. You're too ugly. He's just into you because of the bond. Shit! You don't want to be used. You back away and awkwardly laugh. He gets the message and looks at you.

"Wanna see what I've been watching?" You plop on your bed and pull out your phone.

He smiles and lays beside you.

You show him the YouTube videos you've been addicted to until you fall asleep.

---

You're eating the brownies that Emily made while sitting at the bonfire. Everyone is talking and you're stuck in a debate with Sam.

"No! You're wrong!" He smiles, pointing at you.

You laugh and put your plate on the ground to get focused. "Sam, listen! I'm telling you, the grass is wet in the morning because of the dew!" You yell.

"It's because of the rain!" He yells back.

"Aren't you out all night? On the nights it doesn't rain, why is the grass wet then?!" You're laughing so hard.

Paul, from beside you, gently touches your knee. "He thinks he's always right. You won't win." He laughs in your ear.

"Love birds." Jared smirks.

You look at him. "No, we're just friends." You smile.

"Still?!" Jared asks, shocked. "Damn, Paul! You're taking your time." He laughs.

"Dude.." Paul shakes his head in annoyance.

After the bonfire, Paul brings you to his house. You're super freaking tired, and you fall on one couch in exhaustion. Paul puts a blanket over you and sits on the other couch that's next to your head. The couches are in an 'L' shape. He sits there while you fall asleep. Your arm falls out, and he looks down at your hand. He slowly takes it, holding onto it while you sleep.

---

You wake up and feel a body underneath you. You look down to see that you're on a snoring Paul's chest. You look around and see that you're in his living room. You panic and sit up, going onto the other couch. Your movements wake him up.

"You alright?" He asks in a tired and low voice.

"I.. don't remember falling asleep." You awkwardly giggle.

"You were shivering, so I joined you." He yawns and sits up. "Was that alright?" He asks worriedly.

"Yeah.. yeah, that's okay. Thank you." You smile.

He smiles back and checks his phone. "What you want for breakfast?"

"How about I make something here? If you have anything." You stand up and walk to his kitchen.

"Yeah, I've got stuff. You sure you want to cook? I can do it." He stands up and leans on his fridge, watching you.

"Yeah, no! I've got it." You smile.

He smirks and walks up to you, grabbing your waist. "You're beautiful." He whispers.

Your breath hitches in your throat. You look up in his eyes. "Friends.." You whisper.

He sighs and lets you go. "You know, I can't with you. You hold back so much and you won't let me in." He says in frustration.

You put the stuff on the counter and look at him with worry.

"I want you and I know.. I KNOW you want me, too. Why can't I have you?!" He smiles but is still aggravated.

You gulp and cross your arms. "I'm not good enough for you. All through school, you wanted the skinny girls. You only want me because you imprinted on me." You say quietly.

He starts laughing with anger. "Are you serious?!"

Tears threaten to escape your eyes. He notices and frowns. He pulls you into him and rubs your back. "Nobody will ever compare to you. You're more than your body. And if I didn't imprint on you, I would still think you're fucking hot." He says. "Let me prove it." He pulls away and looks at you.

You smile, hopeful, and touch his cheek. "You mean that?" You ask.

He grabs your waist and picks you up effortlessly. He tosses you on the couch while you giggle. He hovers over you and touches your stomach. "I love this." He smiles. His hand lowers to your outer thigh, and he squeezes. "I love this." He continues to squeeze your thigh. "Oh, the way these will be my pillows." He chuckles. "I love..."His hand moves lower, "may I?" He wants to touch your ass. You nod, and he happily grabs your ass. "Jesus, I love this." He bites his lip and looks over your face. "Most importantly," his hand touches your chest where your heart is rapidly beating, "I love this." He says. "You're absolutely stunning." His eyes scan your features. "I'd show you off to the universe."

You're smiling, blushing, shedding tears, and lowkey screaming inside. Your heart is swollen with love and affection. You never want this to end. Now, you understand, you are perfect for him. You grab the back of his neck and pull him down to your lips.

His lips meet yours, and the kiss is gentle and loving. Your lips move perfectly, and he finally pulls away. "What an amazing kisser." He smirks. "Mine, now?" He asks.

You laugh and nod your head wiping away your tears. "Yes, Paul. I'm yours, now."

[opiopal]

yall wanna know something I think abt a lot? teenage/ little sibling mc au's. Mc gets brought down to the devildom at like 15-16 yr, obviously there is zero romance and instead they just get kinned as the 8th sibling in the HOL.

you guys wanna know what else I think of a lot? little sibling Mc being an agent of chaos when their found family trope isnt paying attention.

I can't help but imagine that once mc is kinned they get crazy spoiled. not spoiled rotten but they know they can get away with a LOT because they're now seen as the cute youngest that doesnt know any better. but obviously they do since they are a teenager who knows how the world works.

and I mention the agent of chaos thing is because they were already attending highschool before hand, so they quickly notice how highschoolish RAD feels, so they were able to jump into the social ring a lot faster then regular Mc. and thus have the ability to get information from people who trust them/like them. so it ends up being useful to them. and now to my leading point: imagine a sort of friendship with Mephisto. its really more like, a symbiotic relationship. they are around each other for a reason. and that reason is RADs newpaper club.

it first started out with Mc staying after at RAD with lucifer to help with a few things, eventually Mc was put in a random room to hang out in after they did all that they could. which turned out to be the room for the newspaper club. after a while they get bored because their D.D.D died and they snagged a paper that was meant for the next day. eventually Mephisto enters the room, goes to tell them to leave which quickly they say "Dia told me I can be in here, if you have a problem with what the lord wants you could always go tell him that!" which shut him up fast. a good couple of minutes go by before the silence is broken by Mc speaking up and going, "You know, this is kinda boring." offended, he whips around, "excuse me?"

"theres nothing interesting here. interviews.. talking about things that everyone already knows about.. like, I could google half this junk." "I- well what would you know!?" "a lot actually. you dont appeal to any of the students here."

he glares for second before inhaling slowly, remembering that diavolo might be nearby.

"oh yeah? as if you could do better." "I could actually," "well i would love to hear it then."

he says sarcastically. though Mc speaks anyways.

mc adjusts how they were sitting and scans over the paper for a second.

"a gossip section would do it good." "what?" "come on dude, its non-sports club 101, if you want people to pay attention to you, you need to appeal to them. I was in theater for a while and we'd bribe people with free food if they sat through the whole show. this place loves drama. and lucifer being drawn riding on a unicorn isn't funny enough to get more then one person to buy it."

slowly they start talking a bit more casually and stop being so hostile. eventually Mc says that they could tell him the gossip they hear if he wants to make a part in the paper for said gossip. so, from then on they slip notes to him about student drama. which does indeed get more papers told!

though one day, someone pisses Mc off. not really that they were the one insulted, but they heard a few demons talking shit about their older brothers. so for the next week Mc takes a good amount of notes on those demons. which eventually they go to Mephisto with their notes and gave them to him. when he questions why these particular demons, he's met with a very angry "if those cunts want to talk shit and not mind their business then why shouldn't their own business get talked about." for a moment he wants to press further... but unfortunately for him he found himself actually caring about this human very much so he couldn't help but just want to make them feel better... and this much of a consititant story would draw people in so its totally not that he kinned this kid as well, totally!! so for about two weeks the gossip section has an ongoing story that causes nearly the whole school to get a paper to stay updated.

of course every bit of gossip uses code names to keep people from being outed on anything. and honestly some of the gossip might end up being people bringing it to the newspaper club themselves, so maybe a small confessions page ends up being opened.

obviously this is something a little cracked, and just a not very thought out thing that exists bc it makes me giggle when I'm daydreaming before I fall asleep<3 and honestly I wouldn't be surprised if there was already a gossip section in the school papers, but unfortunately I was never ever able to make it past the first few lessons of session 2 of obey me, which sucks:/

[galactic-rhea]

It's ranting hours sunday for me: Y' know, I think when people complain soooo much about Padmé getting with Anakin, they're failing to see a lot of things. BUT ESPECIALLY...That it was her choice, and if speaks a lot of her character and personality.

She was already done dirty by the movies by getting so many deleted scenes, but then if you try to take away the agency she had on marrying a human disaster or her choices, like her forgiveness/understanding, it's actually undermining and flattening her character.

The fact is that she's actually very similar to Anakin, she's stubborn, deeply traumatized, compromises a lot for the sake of others and loves beyond reasoning. We, the audience, know that Anakin will become Darth Vader and one of the most iconic villains of history; so everything he does can be seem as a red flag that really isn't there.

From Padmé's POV, Anakin has done terrible things, but it's capable of incredible acts of love and compassion. They're in circumstances that aren't normal at all, she was queen at 14, and he was born a slave and joined the space wizard monks and his normal is kill or be killed. Our modern and omniscient POV can't be applied onto them because there's no point of comparison in this sci-fi-shakespearen tragedy-soap-opera-fantasy.

Besides...she was actually right in the end, and I don't believe is "feminist" or progressive to take away a big part of her core personality, that actually had repercussions in the whole story, and make her out to be either unaware and naive of marrying a monster, or (the worst one, imo) being jedi-mind-tricked-brainwashed-abused by her husband.

The "right, correct, girlboss and queen" actitude does more damage than help, leave Padmé to be a person. A person who wanted to have a fairytale romance with some guy who would fight for her and makes her laugh.

Also, the hell why you wanna blame her for something Anakin does, come on. That's a whole other can of worms, though. My point is, that trying to avoid or re-work-or re-contextualize the fact that she chose Anakin despite him literally telling her about murdering a whole village, is actually changing a big chunk of her personality traits.

She was a child queen, then a politician at the edge of an inminent war, manipulated by the same guy that groomed Anakin into a massive murderer, saw her people being taken into camps, had assasination attempts weekly and had to rip off of her individualism by becoming a public figure, giving up her sense of being a person by having several almost identical decoys, she had to stop being just Padmé to be Queen and then Senator Amidala and she did all of that showing little to no emotion.

Then Anakin does all what she herself had to rip off of her in order to be a politician: Honest, passionate, and able to show emotions; like love or anger.

She has morals and she represents democracy and justice, in a way. But I fully believe that inside her she had the same passionate anger and love capable of burning the galaxy that we know Anakin had, which makes them different sides of the same coin, and I think she realized that. Anakin perhaps didn't , as he never stopped of seeing himself as a slave and therefore inferior, whereas he held Padmé very highly, but I think Padmé saw them both as equals. She didn't have a "I can fix him" mentality, she had a "We're the same, we're both lonely, confused, hurting and scared of losing everything. And if he's like me, then I know he can do the right thing for love."

In other words: She was as insane as her husband, she only seems normal because she wasn't put into the monk warrior order and groomed by the devil for over a decade. (And I don't mean insane as, 'she's crazy for loving a murderer' harley quinn style, I just meant it on a daring, hopeless romantic and tenacious way)

[modmad]

Hey Mod, I don't know what's going on that hurt you, I feel like I missed something that's happened, but I can tell from what I did see that it didn't just hurt you, but scared you and made you feel a Lot of doubt. I've also seen a lot of messages pouring in with support, and I want to share mine.

I have hypermobile type EDS, fibromyalgia, and a whole bucket's worth of faulty wiring in my brain. And I've always had stories to tell but I never felt I was good enough to share them. If it's because I can't focus enough to get through nanowrimo, or because I can't manage the focus and time towards drawing as a hobby, or the fact that an excessive amount of either for me leads to my hands wanting to shut down. But you? You *inspire* me. Your stories, all the ones I've seen, read, experienced in some way or another, they're so good. And you're open and honest with your fans about your own health, and of course, we support you and always would rather you rest and feel as best you can, instead of pushing out something and working yourself too hard. But all of this is to say that. I think I would have given up on my own stories if I hadn't found you and yours.

I hope whatever is going on sorts itself out, I hope you're able to keep telling your stories. At your own pace, in your own way. I think you deserve to be happy. If there's anything we (your fans, especially those of us too awkward to come off anon, whoops,) can do, to help in some way? Even if it's silly videos or cute cat pictures or whatever it is that could just help you smile. We're here. We love you.

woof. I woke up to so many messages I can't even read them all in one go I'm getting too emotional- I do feel I owe an explanation so I'll explain what happened under the cut but all you guys need to know is I'm okay, I got through it, I love you, and you're so important to me and I'm so grateful for all the messages that have asked me to stay.

tw for suicidal thoughts and all that

yeah so I have the bad morning of all mornings: was introduced to the fact there's this one character (Mr Puzzles) on a very popular youtube that. resembles RGB. incredibly strongly. like. I don't want to link to it just look if you want to. Anyway at the time I thought it had just dropped (seems to have been around for 6 months actually), and having commented on it I immediately got an inbox full of hate mail.

My website, meanwhile, had locked both me and my web designer out of it, and- already in a bad state of mind- I went into full on panic/paranoid spiral of 'they have hacked it, and they are going to delete any proof that I was here before them.' This of course wasn't true, and we have since recalimed control of the site (don't know what happened there but hey. it's fine???? haha. ha.)

On top of this my father has terminal cancer of the pancreas, which is horrible for everyone already but it means that- at some point this year- I am going to be the only person with an active income in my house. I am disabled, do not make a lot of money, and the cost of living is skyrocketing. Combine that with months of Despair at the world right now, with the multiple wars, genocide, corruption and AI and the loss of control any of us have over our IP or lives and I just decided it was time to end it all.

I somehow remembered this was a bad idea to act on immediately (hard during a period of entirely irrational thought) and instead went for a very long walk, crossed the bridge I could have jumped off and during that I came out of the worst of it. I then came back home to so much love online I felt deeply ashamed for ever contemplating it, and I cried a lot. My nose is still puffy and now my feet hurt! lmao

Anyway. Yeah. There's your context. I am not going to stop hoping, making, or living. I am prone to moments of weakness and this was one of the worst of them and I am still here, thanks in a large part to all of you. I might need you in the future to defend me against this, or people who take our ideas, but I hope you know that I will do the same for you. We need each other, and to be there for you I need to be here at all.

also fuck Mr Puzzles

[soadiablo]

How would the spidermen react to the (male) reader being all of their boyfriend in each world?

For some he’s a villain, for some he’s a fellow hero, for some he’s a civilian.

Which spider person has which reader and what happens when they find out that they all have a reader?

atsv men w/ the same boyfriend from another universe

characters: miguel o'hara, peter b. parker, and hobie brown.

cw: none

notes: okay so i accidentally wrote a whole fic so what

i'm ASSUMING that you mean across the spider-verse spidermen so that's what i'm doing, if you were thinking something else please let me know.

not proof read

So let's put this into a scenario, you're your own Spider-Man in your own universe. But you have your own love interest. And say one day you're kicking bad guy butt right? Even though it's odd cause the bad guy doesn't look like they're from your universe. Then all of a sudden, this portal opens and another Spider-Man comes through it and also starts beating your bad guy.

Yeah so long story short, it was Miguel and you two do a little banter thing, and you convince him to let you join his Spider Society. Which leads you to the point where you meet Peter and Hobie. And oh boy are they getting some memories.

MIGUEL would probably already have been aware of the fact that you existed in multiple universes. Miguel would probably have a boyfriend who is also a fellow hero, but maybe not exactly Spider-Man. Maybe just someone who helped him on missions and whatnot. So I don't think his reaction would be too strong. He's aware that you look a little like his own version of you, and act like him. But he knows you aren't his version. Although I do believe that would lead to some pretty fun bantering and questions.

Who knows, maybe he might introduce you to... well you one day. Maybe some fun hero shenanigans might ensue.

PETER would probably be a bit stunned. I mean come on, you saw how he was with MJ in the first movie. Maybe you are a spitting image of yourself. Peter would most likely have a civilian boyfriend. Someone who takes care of him after a fight, watching Mayday (i love Mayday fyi), and just being there for when he comes home. That being said, see you as Spider-Man makes him feel... ways he's never felt before. In a good way. He thinks it's cool that he has a boyfriend who is also Spider-Man! He would most likely ask a bunch of questions. Like if you had any cool powers, how does your own suit work, were you also bitten by a radioactive spider?

Peter would also probably try to test your strength, and also get you to meet his own version of you. He just thinks it's cool.

HOBIE would just be amused at the fact that another you exists. Most likely it was a gut feeling, but seeing you with his own two eyes just confirms it. Or maybe he just didn't believe in you, he doesn't believe in consistency. I feel like if you do manage to strike a conversation with him he would probably tell you all about his version of you. One of the first things he'll say is about how you're a villain in his universe. Yep, personally I believe that Hobie would have a boyfriend who's a villain in his universe. What villain you represent is completely up to you. Although it is interesting to know another version of his boyfriend is a hero instead of the opposite.

Would he introduce you to his version of you? Probably not.

© all rights are reserved to soadiablo. do not repost, steal, or copy my work.

[one-hundred-lights-to-goodnight]

Pt.1

You're the new student at school and have the power to see desire. Kusuo has caught on based on your thoughts and the way you pick your way through the schoolkids to surround yourself only with people who's desires you align with. Naturally that means none of the guys - they're all too creepy. 

But you see through a hidden desire of Saiki's that he himself hasn't noticed, being busy saving the world and avoiding annoying people. You're both 18, it's only natural. 

You seek him out in private at the library, passing him a note telling him you're psychic. Since you haven't been causing trouble like any of his other classmates, he decides you might as well know of his abilities so that both of your powers don't interfere. You have a pretty decent idea of his ability already, having seen a flash of his desire mixed into his life. What you do know for sure is he doesn't really want romance the way it’s pedaled to everyone, no simpering love story like that of his parents. Good, neither do you. 

Your next note to him is just that - telling him to notice that his body desires something too, that you're quite like him in that regard, that you don't want anything outside of what you're proposing - just to fuck. This piques his interest. You're not sleazy like the guys, or blushy and giggly like the girls. You're just you, and you know what you want.

You tell him to teleport the two of you to his place. His room is surprisingly clean, and quiet. He tells you about the germanium ring, thinking ... something he can't articulate. You tell him to put it on and to do something to stop time for the rest of the world. He does both, and not being able to see into your head makes his heart race. He can't predict you any longer. You think it'd be something to pull out whimpers from his chest. 

You push him onto the bed and leave him there to go use the bathroom. You come back with no underwear. He's still there, not knowing what to do with himself. You walk up to him and straddle him. You unbutton the first few buttons of your school shirt and begin to grind on him, leaving a trail of wetness right against the crotch of his pants. He could look into your head again whenever he wished, but the nervousness and uncertainty create an added dimension to the pleasure he is feeling already, the tingles everywhere. 

You unzip him and pull him out from his pants, licking your lips. Then you sit down onto his cock in one go. His whole body seizes up, every sensation down there pleasurable and unexpected. The way you squeeze him, the way your wetness feels against him, the way at each different angle, as you begin to move, there are new jolts of electricity in his abdomen each time. He cums and stays hard. You run your fingers along his chest, his nipples. He cums again and again, grunting, groaning, whimpering, nearly crying. He hasn't breathed this heavily even when saving the world. A new seed of desire has begun to take root in him, you see immediately. It's for your body - to feel good with it, and to make it feel good. 

He can't just talk to you in your head directly - you haven't discussed him taking off his ring yet. He has to verbalise what he wants. So he asks if he can touch your chest. You hum in response. The thing is, he touches with his tongue, suckling and kneading at the same time. You tip up his chin and kiss his lips. His eyes widen, but before he says anything, you tell him it's your turn and take his cock out of you, lying down beside him. 

He finally asks to take off his ring. He wants to look into your head and see all your desires. It's only right he return the favour for you. You tell him silently about every dirty thing you want from him. For him to eat you like a man starved. For him to fuck you and cum in you in front of people while making them believe he's invisible, making you struggle to keep your cool as you're filled with cum that slides down your plush thighs. For him to mold his cock while he's inside to stretch you out beyond your limits. You want him to pin you down and rip out one powerful orgasm out of you after the other. And manipulate his body in any number of ways to fill you up in as many of your holes as possible at once. You want for him to put things in you that only he can control, wherever he is, and you want him to shapeshift into other people, animals, extraterrestrial forms. What you really want is for the two of you to experience pleasure in ways others never can. His brother's often told him he's been a monster to begin with. All you want is that monster to rail you. 

Saiki is still for a moment as he processes all this. He never really understood what the point of being born was, or what the point of saving the world was, if he'd never get thanks for it, even from his own family. All that hiding, all that effort and for what, just a quiet life? But he's beginning to get it now. It's worth it if he can be himself with you, and make his body feel good in ways nothing and no one else can. There's a reason he can turn back and stop time. There's a reason his brain works the way it does. It's so he can make time to figure out ways to ruin the both of you. You're turning him into an addict, he tells you. You tell him it's not your problem. He _really_ likes that. His leaking tip does too.

He'll make sure you don't get pregnant, he says. But he is going to fuck a baby into you. You quite like that yourself. 

It's hours before the two of you decide to call it a night, although of course the world’s been standing still all the while. Saiki is draped across his couch, his balls having never been drained like this in his entire life. You bite the skin above his pelvis and he lets you. Then you get up and begin to dress. His eyes flutter to yours and his stomach flutters. Your pussy is sore, thoroughly fucked, full of cum, and buzzing in satisfaction. You tell him the two of you should get back to school. He sees what you're thinking - you want the two of you to attend the rest of the day like nothing’s happened, even if the two of you have to limp through the day. You see he wants quiet though. You tell him the two of you could pretend to date - that would keep creeps away from you and pesky girls away from him. He agrees, and reaches up to your ass, kneading and spreading it. Then he pushes in a silicone vibrator he's fashioned for you himself, and it fits just right. 

The next second, the two of you are back at a table in the library, and your ass is being pounded. He thinks of letting you enjoy yourself like this for a while, but seeing the drool dribble down your lips, he gets up and walks away to an empty storage closet, silently instructing you to walk over there too. Luckily the route is empty, or you'd have been seen shaking, leaking, as you teeter over to the room. You clutch onto the first table you find there, realising you don't much care about school anymore, only about getting fucked for as long as possible. 

Saiki reads your fantasy again and shapeshifts into the form of one of the teachers, Hatakeyama. You realise at once what is happening and leak so much cum he can taste it. His cock is fat, so much so that despite your hours getting fucked earlier you still have trouble letting him enter. But sensei tells you to be a good girl and open up, forcing your sore pussy open. You're nearly senseless for another thirty minutes as the much older professor takes his pleasure from you, while the vibrator hammers away in your asshole (Saiki's sent the actual Hatakeyama to sleep in the teacher's bathroom and transferred some of the pleasure he feels to him, thinking it's only fair. Hatakeyama will wake up thinking he's had the wet dream of his life). Saiki knows he's enjoying himself way too much. He'll turn back time to keep the two of you in school forever, he thinks. Your bodies are in their prime right now, after all. 

The two of you keep a low profile so you're not really missed when you're finally back in class, but Saiki makes it so no one really notices your dazed eyes or wobbling legs when you're in your seat, leaving large smears of cum across the chair. When a classmate asks you what plans you have for the weekend, you look over at Saiki and tell her the two of you have a date planned, or three. You can't believe you've struck gold.

Pt.2 | Pt.3 | Pt.4 | Pt.5 | Pt.6 | Pt.7 | Pt.8

[spaceorphan18]

the gifs you shared a few minutes ago (of Colin in his pirate coat) made something stand out to me, so I thought I'd share...

in the top gif, you can see that when he picks up the girl's glove and gives it back to her, he never actually touches her skin when he takes her hand and presses a kiss to it - he holds onto the glove and kisses the top of the glove. because, back then, it would be inappropriate for there to be direct skin contact between them.

BUT, when he visits Pen to apologize to her and makes a deal to help her find a husband, you'll notice that Pen hesitates when he goes to shake her hand because she's not wearing gloves, but he silently encourages her to do so. and then she's also not wearing her gloves when she helps to bandage his hand later on. tsk tsk.

I just like how it shows that Colin is mindful of societies rules and careful to obey them, but is always willing to break them for Pen :)

YESSSSSSS!!

I never noticed this before but you're totally right! He does not make skin to skin contact. And... I mean I think this is so important in understanding Colin's character. All of this nonsense with him coming back and being mr. flirt and going to brothels and whatever is soooo Colin doing what he thinks he should, but never really committing.

Does he like the attention from these women? Sure! Does he necessarily care though? Not really. For Colin, it's not that he specifically wants attention from these ladies. It's more of an act. More of a -- hey guys, look, I can make ladies swoon, too. And yeah, that does help one's ego to get the attention. Colin is human after all. But all of these interactions remain distant and hollow.

He's badly missing Penelope at this point. He's been around the world, finding confidence in himself by trying to fit into society (a theme that runs through Colin, Penelope, and Eloise's stories in this season). And, as his mother implies, has put on a set of armor around his heart. He's already had his heart broken once. And he doesn't really understand (yet) why Penelope's absence is so detrimental. So it's easier to play a part than to be the Colin Bridgerton we're all used to him being.

If you go back and watch all of these scenes -- all the flirting he does has an element of distance. They're all about /them/ -- like, /you/ ladies are wonderful. None of them are about /him/. None of them are -- wouldn't I like to be with you. They indulge those other women, but he's doing it for their reaction -- not because he actually cares. Because to care means his heart could get broken again. Because to care means being the old Colin, and he's trying very hard not to be that Colin.

Likewise, with the whole brothel thing. He's not having one-on-one sessions. He's having group sessions. Way less intimacy that way. Sexy times and feeling good can happen without any of the need for emotion or connection. Because returning him Colin is trying not to have that.

Except. You can't ever really run from yourself. And Colin, whether he knows it or not, really wants that connection.

In contrast, he not only shakes Penelope's bare hand, but clasps it with his other. It's an incredibly intimate moment. He's always had moments like this. Regardless as to whether they're romantic or not (or if he understands any of that) she is important to him. He has always kind of said 'fuck you' to society norms when it comes to her, (and will probably always do so).

Even when Colin is at the height of his wanting to be Not!Colin, he's still pulling stuff like this. Penelope is an anchor to himself. One that he continually choses not to let go of.

I honestly love it.

[thankskenpenders]

It's a bit late, but I figure I have to touch on the big news from today, which is that for an (early) April Fools celebration Sega went and released a free visual novel about Sonic getting murdered

Here's a thing you should know about me: I am deathly allergic to ironic visual novels, and the related trend of announcing dating sims (which are synonymous with the medium of visual novels as a whole to many people) on April Fools

Aside from an incredibly small selection of titles that have seen wider success, it feels like much of the game industry is only willing to acknowledge visual novels as a punchline. And said jokes about dating sim stereotypes have been done a million fucking times by now. They're parodies of parodies of parodies. Even when these prank dating sims actually go and get made rather than just being a few fake screenshots, it feels like it's just because VNs are seen as cheap, disposable entertainment compared to "real" games. Companies can afford to commission some bullshit like the KFC dating sim and write it off as a marketing stunt. And it works. These games will get widely reported on for being so ~wacky~, while devs pouring their hearts into doing sincere, interesting work with the medium of visual novels are usually out of fucking luck. It's so, so tiring. The fact that this happens like clockwork every year has made me come to dread April Fools Day

So imagine my surprise when The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog drops out of nowhere and it's actually one of my favorite Sonic games in years

Aside from the intentionally tongue-in-cheek, attention-grabbing title (and Sonic doing the Family Guy Death Pose), there isn't an ounce of irony here. It's just a straight up whodunnit VN set on a train, albeit a lighthearted and pretty easy one. It's still a Sonic game, after all, and Sonic games are for kids. But it's so clearly made out of a place of love, both for the characters and for murder mysteries, rather than being a parody that's constantly winking at the camera and going "haha, isn't this absurd that this even exists at all?" Forget that. This wants to tell a genuinely good little Sonic story. Not to mention how gorgeous all of the artwork is throughout, with character illustrations from IDW cover artist Min Ho Kim (AKA deegeemin)

Like, for real. I've wanted the Sonic games to explore the supporting cast more for years, and I can't believe the game to finally do it is a murder mystery visual novel released for April Fools. This might be one of the best showcases of the cast... ever, in the games? The script from Ian Mutchler is so, so great, with fun and cute moments for everyone involved. And, smartly, you see the cast through the eyes of a new character (I named them "Blorbo") who isn't necessarily familiar with things like Blaze being a princess from another dimension, making this a surprisingly valid way to introduce people to the supporting cast. I'd say more, but it's a short game, so I think everyone should just go out and play it if you haven't already

There is still part of me that wishes a Sonic visual novel like this could've been greenlit for release any other day of the year, rather than being yet another April Fools visual novel. But regardless of the excuse they used to make it, I'm extremely happy that this exists