#and they’re playing the game. and ~I~ understand that you roll a dice and move your piece around the board.

[aliosne]

Guess whos hiding in the bathroom after having a mini-meltdown over a board game✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻

[indierpgnewsletter]

Should the GM make things interesting?

Obviously, yes. But also, no.

Words are great, stay with me.

I was reading an Alexandrian article that was about the – often debated – idea that when players come up with a good plan and the dice roll in their favour, their plan should just work. While a GM might be tempted to force some hitch, some curveball, some twist – some interesting-ness, the Alexandrian (and lots of other people) suggest that you should resist that urge and just let things be simple.

The sense that “something interesting should happen here” is understandable because it’s so often the role that the GM is playing. It comes from stories we know and other games we’ve played, right? There’s no good heist movie where the plan just works out. And probably your favourite gaming session was one where there were outrageous twists and unforeseen consequences. This particularly applies to trad and storygames – cultures that want sessions to feel like a particular kind of narrative or a particular medium, usually a movie or TV show.

Now the Alexandrian has a very trad focus. In the games being discussed, players normally spend a lot of time planning – discussions, debates, dice rolls around investigation and convincing NPCs. Now anyone who has invested all this time will find it pretty fun if their plan goes well. So I agree with the Alexandrian, if the dice fall favourably (rare!), a hitch-less session is great and will be enjoyed by all. And if everyone is already having fun, why would you feel the need to do something more?

If you think that it’s only interesting when sessions have twists and turns, then play something like Blades in the Dark where the idea is that you plan less and fail more. It’s probably a better fit for you because it’s design is in line with how you want to play.

Okay, but what happens when you’re playing Blades in the Dark and the players are just rolling 6s? In a lot of Forged in the Dark games, there’s been a trend towards designing some kind of currency that the GM can spend to introduce twists that is aimed squarely at this problem. I am not a fan of that stuff for two reasons. First, because mostly they’re giving people permission to do things that they already do. Nothing can stop me when I think of something cool to say, nothing! Or to put it more seriously, there’s a reason Apocalypse World says you make GM moves when players look to you. Or when there’s a golden opportunity. Second, even though these games are it’s-only-interesting-when-things-go-wrong games, even though there is minimal planning investment, it is still perfectly fine for a session to have only expected and obvious things happen.

Why? Because the players’ actions are interesting enough. Or at least, they should be.

Games like Blades in the Dark are more or less defined to facilitate players taking only interesting actions. They’re designed around players coming up with outrageous ideas and having the tools to actualize them. Not always succeeding… but at least crashing and burning in an entertaining way.

I think it’s important to think of these games as ones where players are supposed to be able to entertain themselves.

But, you ask, what if the players’ plans aren’t interesting? Well, I say, interesting to whom? If the players’ actions aren’t interesting even to them i.e. they are bored by their own choices, then that’s a real problem. When I find myself in that situation, it either means I’m having an off-day or I’m playing the wrong game with the wrong group. Not a big deal – I’ve been there before, I know what to do (see last week’s post). But it’s not something that can be fixed by a GM. If their actions aren’t interesting to you but are interesting to them, that’s a complicated situation too. But it has nothing to do with games.

So, yes. Should the GM make things interesting? Obviously, yes. But also, sometimes, no.

(This was first published in the Indie RPG Newsletter.)

[beedlemania]

How do you think game night would go for the boys. I saw something on insta saying Davy would get mad when he lost and flip the board (canon /j). What do you think

Game night is definitely an ORDEAL in the pad

Mike seems like the type of guy to spend 50 million years reading the instructions and trying to explain them, thus wrecking everyone else’s head. The other three will start playing without him because he’s taking way too long to go through everything. And they all end up making up their own rules anyway to suit themselves. Like Micky will definitely call someone out for cheating then do the same move himself and be like “it’s in the rules, I can do that”. You just know they’re obnoxious as hell when playing.

I feel like Peter is just going along for the ride. Hes the most gullible so usually ends up losing because he’s actually following the rules. Mike sticks up for him but he also has his own competitive streak so he lets some foul play slide. Peter is actually the best player (by the actual rules of the game) and can never understand how he always loses to the guys but wins against everyone else. He always shocks everyone with how good he is at memory or trivia based games. Mike is a terrible player but he always convinces the others that he let them win or that they all cheated or something or other (hence why he lets Peter lose sometimes, to save face).

Micky and Davy are demons when it comes to board games. There’s constantly an argument and it’s not unheard of that they’ll start physically fighting over games. And that’s before it even starts (they both wanna play the same colour or same piece or whatever). They always sabotage each other by kicking the table when the other rolls dice or if they set it up, rigging it against the other. They’re menaces. When Micky loses he’ll demand a rematch until he wins (which could take the entire night. Mike and Peter have gone to bed but Davy and Micky are still going) or go off in a huff. Davy definitely flips the board, not even if he loses, just if someone else rolls/gets something better. Mike gets a second hand table for free and glues the board to it but Davy just ends up flipping the table instead. It’s not uncommon to find a checker piece or a die under the couch or randomly on the floor in the pad.

Peter doesn’t mind losing. Mike doesn’t mind as long as no one says anything about it. Micky and Davy on the other hand will go on and on. Mike has to reassure Micky he won every night and Peter does the same for Davy, regardless of who actually won. God forbid one of them actually does win, he’ll brag about it for days on end until the next game night.

Mike has a rule that Micky and Davy aren’t allowed to play anything against each other unless there’s someone there to supervise after the incident. (It’s a forbidden topic in the pad and serves as a cruel reminder of how dangerous board games can be.)

[landofzero-archive]

Battle on the Sugoroku Board - The Die Has Been Cast 7

(Location: “Battle on the Sugoroku Board” program set)

(Meanwhile)

Madara: ……..!

Oh. Looks like there’s an idol I haven’t seen before over there.

I’m roaring with laughter! I thought you were going to challenge me to a “Dice Battle”♪

So let’s recognize that sentiment! It’s time to get serious……☆

What a shaame. I rolled a 4. Would you like me to be an adult and help you with the rope?

Fufufu. Let me take all the money you have♪

Arashi: …… It looks like you’re having a lot of fun aren’t you, Mama?

Madara: Ohh. Arashi-san, so you were hiding in the shows like that, huuh.

Since you were heading in the opposite direction, I thought you’d gone far away.

Arashi: That was my plan, but I ended up coming back because I almost ran into kids from the other agencies.

After that, I got a little tired and took a short break. I’ve been very busy lately.

Madara: It’s no wonder. The children at Maizuru Manor took all your physical strength away from you, didn’t they?

Arashi: You’re right. It was cold so I felt like basking in the sun here. I take good care to protect my skin from UV rays, and I thought it’d be good to warm up a little.

It looks like they’re fighting quite a bit over there, aren’t they? We were told to move covertly, right?

Madara: Nooo. I have a big body, so I think I stand out quite a bit.

Fortunately, I’ve won three games in a row, so I’ve saved up quite a bit of gold. It would be an unexpected move.

Arashi: Hmm. In that case, wouldn’t it be okay if we met up with Natsume-chan once? I checked the GPS and it looks like we’re not too far apart.

How about we return with the gold and plan our next strategy?

Madara: That’s true. We might come up with an interesting strategy if we put our brains together.

How about it, Arashi-san? Do you want to come with me?

Arashi: I’ll pass. It’d be troublesome if I got caught up in a “Dice Battle” while on the move, so I decided to get a little more rest.

Madara: I see. Well, I’ll head back first. If Natsume-san has anything to say, I’ll let you know too.

Heave ho……☆

Arashi: Ehh!? Why’re you suddenly carrying me on your shoulders!?

Madara: Be quiet. I feel like there’s other people nearby.

If things continue like this, you might get caught up in a “Dice Battle.” I’ll take you to a safe spot.

Rinne: There’s no point in running away. I know you’re there♪

Yuuta: Mikejima-senpai! Won’t you let us apprehend you?

Madara: Hmm. I’ve been caught.

(But, it was a good thing that Arashi-san was able to escape into the shadows. Two on two, crushing each other, it’s just not worth it.

Run away while I fight, Arashi-san.)

Arashi: (Understood. I’ll keep my distance, so I’ll have to ask you to take care of the rest.)

Madara: It’s a pain, and I don’t really want to fight you guys— but it can’t be helped. I’ll treat myself to a “Dice Battle.”

Who will go first? I don’t care who my opponent is.

Rinne: Sorry Yuta, but I’ll take the lead. You came all this way to play, so it’d be a waste if you didn’t have fun♪

C’mon let’s raise the stakes!It’s a match to see if it’ll roll even or odd!

Madara: “Dice Battle” isn’t chō-han,(1) but oh well.

I’m also fired up for the most carefree job I’ve had in a long time—so I’ll give it my all.

Rinne: I got a 5! Lucky, I’ve got luck from the get go!

Madara: I rolled… a 2, huh.

Rinne: Gyahaha! I’m the winner! You’re going to obediently be tied up, Mikeneko-chan♪ 

Madara: Ah ah. Did you think I didn’t have the item?

“Reroll Card”—I’ll use this support item to get another roll!

Sorry, but I just happened to have fought an opponent who had a “Reroll Card.” Don’t let anyone tell you the game was won here.

Rinne: Heeh, you’re being a bad loser……♪ But things are starting to get interesting♪

My dice is 5. In other words, if you don’t roll a 5 or higher, you’re wasting your time, aren’t you? Do you understand that?

Madara: Of course. Compared to the complexity of events in reality, having a one in three chance is almost a luxury.

…… So, let me try again. I rolled a— 6!

Unfortunately for you, it seems the goddess of fate is smiling on me, isn’t she?

Rinne: Hmm, way to go♪

But even if I don’t make it, a second and third me will appear! Your reign won’t last—

Isn’t that right, Yuta? You’ll avenge me, right?

Yuuta: Eh. I don’t like it in general, but…

I mean, please don’t make me your copy without my permission.

The only rule is that when you encounter an enemy, a “Dice Battle” will automatically start, so I’m not going to try and avenge you or anything.

I’ll only fight according to the rules. Are you ready, Mikejima-senpai?

Madara: Yeah, come at me from wherever you are!

I’ll also go at it without hesitation. If this is a showdown-type variety show, no matter how hard you try, you’ll just be cute villain……☆

TL Notes:

Chō-han (literally 丁半, the kanji for even and odd numbers) is a gambling game in which players roll two dice and bet on whether the total will be even or odd.

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[button-kin-games]

Development Diary: Jude's World, Part 6

Last time I shared three problems I was having with my in-development solo, tarot-based TTRPG about a plucky preteen protagonist struggling to reunite their warring parents. This month let’s talk about how I solved those problems and discovered a bunch more in the process. Because hey, that’s play testing!

The first problem I had with my previous draft was that I didn’t feel that I knew enough about my protagonist to be invested in them before I started writing their journal. I decided to expand the relationship building mechanic I’d created to flesh out their parents’ love story — a tarot spread with questions tied to each position — to instead cover the history of the whole family unit. I swapped out some of the questions about Mika and Jamie (Jude’s parents) for some about Jude’s early childhood. I still might change a couple of the questions or rephrase them, but on my next play through I felt much more at home with Jude’s perspective and personality without losing too much of the attachment that I’d previously found myself developing towards their parents’ relationship. Which is good, since the latter is something we spend the game digging into.

The second problem I had was that I didn’t feel like there was enough “structure” around the storylines I had for Jude, which were intended to balance the Traps and provide Jude with perspective and character growth. This was related to a third problem I had, which was that storylines didn’t really connect with anything else mechanically in the game. As well as being harder and less fun to engage with than the Traps they were highly skippable.

I solved both of these by switching out the four-part storyline arcs I spent so long on in my first draft (sigh) for one-liner “Changes” tied to each major arcana in the standard tarot deck. Going through a Change gives Jude boost to a new stat: Teen. Mechanically a high Teen score will make Jude’s Traps more reliably successful. Narratively I think this makes sense. In theory the more you mature the better you understand the human heart. Changes range from moving schools to having your first crush, to attending your first protest. They’re a mixture of good and bad milestones intended to create drama that is focussed on Jude, rather than drama that’s all about their parents.

I’ve completed my fourth play test now and I’m really pleased with these alterations. I feel like some magic is starting to happen. Of course now there’s a new batch of things to think about.

Problem 1: Marking Scars can get heavy fast

When Jude sets up a Trap for their parents and it fails on a roll of the dice, we mark a Scar. Narratively this means that their parents leave the situation less pleased with each other than before and Jude discovers something concerning about their relationship. This is all good and intentional, but what Jude finds out is up to the player, and it can be tempting to go heavy right away.

In my last play through Jude ended up inviting one of their parents’ exes to a party in an attempt to make the other jealous (what can I say? The cards made me do it.) This backfired spectacularly and resulted in marking a Scar. I found myself written into a corner where it made most sense for Jude to discover a history of sexual jealousy, perhaps even adultery in their parents’ relationship. This was only the second Trap of the game and, if I’d played on, I still wonder how I could’ve squared this knowledge with Jude’s continued efforts to bring these two back together. This needs a little softening.

I want to try wrapping a heart to heart with one or both of Jude’s parents into these moments. Something to provide a little closure and context from those characters’ perspectives. I think this will be a good course correct for the tone and it’s in keeping with the tropes of the teen media this game draws a lot from.

Problem 2: Every single thing is high stakes

The Traps are dramatic. They’re balanced by big Changes in Jude’s life. Where’s the episode where Jude goes to the cinema with their friends? Where are the sleep overs? Heck, where’s the never ending boredom I remember from pre-teendom? I’m thinking of adding some kind of hijinks table for some in-between diary entries to round out all the drama.

Problem 3: So. Many. Prompts.

Every mechanic in this game — the Traps, the Changes, you name it — generates at least one prompt for a diary entry. Right now the prompt generation phase and the writing phase are a bit jumbled up. The flow of play isn’t right yet and I’m conscious that there’s currently a lot to hold in one’s head between diary entries. And if I, the person most intimately familiar with the rules of this game, am feeling that then I can only imagine the tangle a new player could get into. I need some kind of system to help players hold on to Jude’s various life events until they’re ready to write about them. The good news is I love organising things. The bad news is I’m stumped for the minute about how to go about this. I don’t want to get that structure wrong and add yet more complexity, but it definitely needs… something. The clouds will part at some point, I’m sure.

So, there you have it. Things to work on for play test five. After which my ambition is to start showing the game to more people. Games can only grow so much confined inside one skull. Like trees. Or goldfish. Help me nourish a mighty koi! If you’re interested in being a play tester go ahead and contact me through any of my socials or by email at yvris@buttonkin.com.

[talenlee]

Decemberween ’23 — Adventure Game Speedruns

Sometimes a creator has a central hook to what they make videos about and it’s nice and easy to share. OneShortEye makes videos, at the moment, about speedrunning adventure games, a type of game that’s largely seen as not being about speedrunning.

And they’re great.

You can just watch the channel by glancing it any time you want. It’s just a list of videos, and you can pick the ones that interest you. I want to talk about the ones that interest me, specifically. And disclaimer: I like pretty much all these videos. Like, the Laura Bow videos are interesting. The Monkey Island ones are interesting. The Owl Quest one, which is a joke, is interesting.

But if you want a sort of sense of continuity across these things, I want to draw your attention to the near-complete anthology that describes the speedruns of the Kings Quest games.

King's Quest Speedrunning World Record History

Watch this video on YouTube

If you’re not familiar, the Kings Quest games is a series of videogames that basically encapsulates, in time, the entirety of my childhood. They’re graphical adventures, and thanks to their place in the game history, they have some unique strangeness, like their relationship to the hardware and software that makes them go. In the case of the early games, from the 1980s, these games are capable of running faster than humans can perceive. As a speed game, then, King Quest I is a question of trying to find out how little you can feather the brake on this game that’s nearly impossible to control.

I wrote about Kings Quest I earlier this year in the context of what ‘history’ really looks like.

Why (almost) No One Runs this Game | King's Quest III Speedrun History

Watch this video on YouTube

Then there’s Kings Quest III, which is complicated by the game itself being extremely complex. Where Kings Quest I is at its heart a game where you explore to find a route for success and then find the best combination of those to win, Kings Quest III has this competing rats nest of genuinely random components. Oh, Kings Quest I has some randomness (hi, stair dwarf, you butthole), but Kings Quest III is full of competing randomness, where to give the game a sense of life, characters move around and appear in different places and then

There’s a fourteen minute

dead

stop

wait.

It’s an interesting run particularly because it’s actually pretty beatable, according to the people who play it. It’s the matter of having patience enough to endure the opening part, where you have to roll the dice a lot, then fourteen minutes later, make no mistakes and roll a few more dice.

King's Quest V Speedrun History

Watch this video on YouTube

Then when the games graduated from a CGA-compatible simple graphics, and a text parser, we got Kings Quest 5 with its indulgent full-screen videos and voice acting and upwards of twenty megs of compressed material.

The speedrunning history of Kings Quest 5 is the video that got me to tune into this channel at first. The game is difficult and has some real absurd logic built into it, and finding out that at one point you fail because you ate the meat and not the pie, or vice versa, means you’re not getting feedback from the game that makes working these things out easier. Basically, you have to guess, and sometimes it’s easy to imagine that the game might be broken.

Turns out it is!

Just you know, you need to understand it on a really deep level to appreciate how broken and get around its brokenness.

Weird, I wonder why these videos skip the even numbered ones? Oh wait-

King's Quest VI Speedrun History

Watch this video on YouTube

And oh boy are we talking about the games and unintended functions of interface elements, check out how in Kings Quest VI the memory handling of a spacebar key can create unintended consequences for routing around the game’s speedrun.

I think this is also worth checking out because Kings Quest VI is a game whose players and speedrunners form something of a cast you’ll see in all the other videos here. There’s even an evolution of things, watching as ‘Top Kek Shrek’ decided to y’know, change his name to TKS and move away from ‘Kek’, a term that has become uh… a red flag?

Why This Speedrun Makes You SING | King's Quest VII Speedrun History

Watch this video on YouTube

Then there’s Kings Quest 7, a new type of game with a new type of energy. It’s got this classical visual aesthetic, something that pushes the at the time current SVGA graphics card, and looks like… well, almost Don Bluthy? Almost Disney-ish? Style of animation. And it’s impressive, the needs of this game meant that the game had to get more complicated and the game getting more complicated meant it found new and interesting ways to break.

And well, how much more complicated could these Kings Quest games get?

How Speedrunners Broke the WEIRDEST King's Quest

Watch this video on YouTube

Oh hey, they tried to make Tomb Raider.

I’m not joking, Kings Quest: The Mask Of Eternity is an adventure game that wanted to weave in combat systems (which Kings Quest had always kinda eschewed) and free movement. The result was that in a time of 3d animation and level design being done by specialists who could handle the complexities of these systems, the Kings Quest makers had to pivot to trying to do something completely new with no previous grounding and the result is a game that’s…

Uh.

I know I’ve been using the word ‘broken’ liberally here and it’s only because it’s the language of the speedrun space. Realistically speaking, it’s the opposite of broken; these games are resilient. When you give them impossible or ridiculous demands they find a way to work with what you give them. When things in the system of the computer fail or the technology outmodes them, they still find a way to meet the demands you make of them and continue to exist as a game.

But it’s pretty easy looking at Mask of Eternity and feel, very clearly: This is not how they wanted this game to work.

I don’t know if there’s any plan to tackle the other Kings Quest games – two, four, and the more recent episodic adventures. I do think these videos are really interesting treatments of the complexities of these kinds of speedruns, and their historical explanation – talking to the people doing the speedruns and sometimes even the creators of the games! – is a great way to contextualise games that have been seeing play, regularly, for twenty to forty years.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[whoovesnassistant]

Skit Contest Entry 10

“Ogres and Oubliettes” - By MagnaFae

INT. - TARDIS LOUNGE The TARDIS door creaks open and then shuts. Hoofsteps sound at a trotting pace on a metal floor. DOCTOR (enthusiastic) Welcome back, Derpy! Are you prepared for a game night of unrelenting fun?

DERPY

I sure am! And since it's my week to pick the game, I have something new!

TICK TOCK

Did you procure a new expansion pack for Seekers of the Lunchbox?

DERPY

Good guess, but no. Let me show you!

A saddlebag is opened, followed by the clacking of dice, the rustling of paper, and the gentle thump of a hardback book.

DOCTOR

Dice? Character sheets? And a handbook...this couldn't be - ?

DERPY (interjecting) Ogres and Oubliettes! DOCTOR (to himself) Huh. No pony pun? I don't know whether to find this refreshing or disappointing.

TICK TOCK What manner of game is this?

DERPY

It's a tabletop role-playing game! We tell a fantasy story together and roll these dice to decide the results of the characters' actions. It'll be like an adventure with the Doctor, but with none of the danger!

DOCTOR (indignant) Oi! Can you really call it a proper adventure without a little danger?

DERPY

Sure, for a real adventure, but this is for game night! And there's no room for real stress at game night.

Sound of multiple dice bouncing on the table during TICK TOCK's following line of dialogue. TICK TOCK (fascination) Your collection of dice for this game greatly intrigues me, Derpy. You have cubes, tetrahedrons, octahedrons, dodecahedrons, icosahedrons, and even pentagonal trapezohedrons.

DERPY (hopeful) So you...wanna play? TICK TOCK

Affirmative. I simply must know how these various polyhedrons are implemented into the game.

DERPY (drawn out, pleading) Will you play too, Doctor? Please?

DOCTOR

Oh, alright! I'm not about to pass on game night with my companions.

DERPY (enthusiastic) Yay! Ogres & Oubliettes night is on!

INT. - TARDIS LOUNGE

DERPY

Alright! Let’s go around the table and introduce our characters. Starting with...Tick Tock! TICK TOCK (caught off-guard) Oh, um, okay. My character is a... unicorn stallion. DOCTOR

You're playing as yourself?

(Printed with the demonstration version of Fade In)

TICK TOCK

Not necessarily. His class is soldier, subclass artillerist.

DOCTOR (friendly teasing) Still sounds like you, Tick Tock!

TICK TOCK

And he's blue. DOCTOR

Blue?

TICK TOCK (sheepish at the end) Yes. A blue unicorn artillerist soldier named Blueprint. Apologies for my unoriginality. DERPY (encouraging) Actually, I think the name Blueprint is very clever! I'm excited to see how you use the mana cannons!

TICK TOCK (flattered) Thank you, Derpy. I am eager to roll all these dice for said mana cannons.

DERPY giggles in anticipation. DERPY Now you, Doctor! DOCTOR

Alright! I’m playing a griffon detective rogue. No one knows his real name, but he's a drifter, so everyone calls him "The Drifter". And he wears a Stetson! DERPY (friendly teasing) Are you going through another hat phase? Typical Doctor. TICK TOCK

On the contrary, I find these choices to be rather atypical of the Doctor.

DOCTOR

Really now? Care to elaborate?

TICK TOCK

Gladly. I hypothesized that you would create a red-haired unicorn character, in order to attain some form of personal wish fulfillment.

DOCTOR (incredulous) Wish fulfillment?! What for? No fictional gingercorn of mine could ever compare to the genuine article!

TICK TOCK (flattered, confused) You mean...me? Um, thank you?

DOCTOR

You're welcome. Moving along - Derpy!

DERPY

I'm playing Sugarplum the reindeer. She's an oracle mage who has visions of the future in her dreams.

DOCTOR (stifling laughter) And would you say these visions of Sugarplum's...dance in her head? The DOCTOR laughs at his own joke. DERPY sighs in exasperation.

DERPY (awkward, apologetic) Doctor, we can't understand your jokes if they're only funny in another universe. DOCTOR (grumbling, pouty) I swear, this whole blasted pony universe wants to make me the joke...

TICK TOCK

Incidentally, Derpy, that character concept is reminiscent of your historical alias from Neighers, Bright Eyes. Was that intentional?

DERPY (surprised) Oh wow, I didn't even make that connection! I guess we're all playing characters based on ourselves, huh?

TICK TOCK (amused) We have established that Blueprint is not me. He is blue. And fictional.

DOCTOR

Alright! Are we all ready to begin?

DERPY

Yep! Give me just a moment to find the right page, and I'll set the scene for our adventure. Ahem...

Sound of pages turning, which transitions to the sound of a winter wind blowing through dry leaves. INT. - TARDIS LOUNGE/IMAGINARY NEVERFREEZE JUNGLE

DERPY (dramatic) Blueprint, the Drifter, and Sugarplum are walking along a hoofpath, deep in the Neverfreeze Jungle. A sudden cold snap settles over the land, which is not normal for this tropical region. Night is falling, and so is the temperature. What do you do?

A short segment of copyright-free Wild West instrumental whistle music plays over the DOCTOR's next line of dialogue.

DOCTOR (Western accent) Rest easy, pardners. My torches will keep ya'll warm and shed light on the path ahead of us. The music abruptly ends.

TICK TOCK (confused) Doctor, why are you speaking like that?

DOCTOR

Oh! That's how my character talks!

TICK TOCK (discouraged) I wasn't aware that we had to change our voices to distinguish the characters from ourselves.

DERPY (reassuring) Oh! You don't have to do any of that, Tick Tock! You can just describe what Blueprint says and does without talking "in character". TICK TOCK

In that case, Blueprint accepts the Drifter's offer of a torch and examines his surroundings.

The sound of one die bouncing on a wooden table. TICK TOCK (cont'd) Seventeen on the Perception check. I think that is relatively high.

DERPY

It is! In the torchlight, you spot a nearby cottage. The windows are dark. Hmm...I wonder if Sugarplum has seen this cottage in a dream before.

The sound of bouncing thuds of two dice on a wooden table, followed by the sound of pages turning. DERPY (cont'd) That's a seventy-two out of one hundred on my Premonition percentage, which means...Yes! Sugarplum says, "We should knock on the door! I have a good feeling about this place and the zebra who lives here."

DOCTOR (eager, giddy) A zebra?! Oh, fantastic! I'm going to walk up and knock on the door!

DERPY

Drifter, you knock on the door and an old zebra in a nightcap opens it. She looks grumpy because you woke her up.

DOCTOR (confident) No worries, I can smooth this over.

A short segment of copyright-free Wild West instrumental whistle music plays over the DOCTOR's next line of dialogue.

DOCTOR (cont'd) (Western accent) Evenin', ma'am. We're a trio of humble travelers lookin' fer a place to bunk down. Can ya spare us a room?

The sound of bouncing thuds of one die on a wooden table.

DOCTOR (cont'd) That is...twelve total for the Negotiation check. DERPY

With a twelve...the zebra says she isn't accepting any tenants.

DOCTOR

Blast!

DERPY

But she'll answer our questions if we have any.

TICK TOCK

Blueprint asks the zebra what she knows about the sudden cold snap.

DERPY

Okay! The old zebra says...

Sound of turning pages as DERPY checks her session notes.

DERPY (cont'd)

...that last night, she heard some howling winds and then snow started falling early this morning! TICK TOCK

Does this account remind Blueprint of any local legends? DERPY

Hmm...you can roll a Lore check to jog your memory. All of us can, actually. Throw those dice!

DOCTOR (excited) Brilliant! I put seven skill points into Lore! C'mon, Detective!

The sound of three dice bouncing on the wooden table.

DERPY

Ten.

TICK TOCK

Seven.

DOCTOR (victorious) Twenty-three!

TICK TOCK (incredulous) How did you-? DOCTOR (interjecting) Detective!

DERPY

Sweet Celestia, that's a high roll! The Drifter recognizes this as the work of one or more windigos.

DOCTOR

You know, I've encountered the wingidos before. Does that mean my character knows their weakness?

DERPY (flatly) No, Doctor. That's metagaming.

DOCTOR

Meta-what?

TICK TOCK It means cheating. DOCTOR

Blast!

DERPY

But the Drifter does know that following the cold air upwind should lead to the windigos' lair.

DOCTOR

Fantastic! Let's be off then, fantasy companions! Avante!

DERPY & TICK TOCK

Avante!

INT. TARDIS LOUNGE/IMAGINARY WINDIGO LAIR Tense, copyright-free instrumental battle music plays over the following exchange of dialogue. DOCTOR

Alright, nobody panic, but the Drifter is out of HP. DERPY

Again?! Doctor, Sugarplum's gonna run out of spells at this rate.

DOCTOR

Well, you don't have to heal him! At least, not immediately. DERPY

I guess, but every turn he's unconscious with frostbite, the windigos get free healing.

DOCTOR

Oh...probably should've considered that before flying in with my daggers.

DERPY

Yeah Doctor, why do you keep running into melee? Just shoot your bow and arrows from the back, up in the air!

DOCTOR

Because all Sugarplum has are ranged spell attacks and Tick Tock -

TICK TOCK (interjecting) Blueprint.

DOCTOR (exasperated) Blueprint has spent the past three rounds not doing his job as the front-liner!

TICK TOCK (flatly) I already explained that I'm setting up my artillery.

DOCTOR (exasperated) We don't need three mana cannons! There's only two windigos! TICK TOCK (insistent) These are scattershot mana cannons. Based on the average damage output of each cannon, three will defeat both windigos in one round. Efficiently.

DOCTOR (shouting) Well, we could have beaten them without the cannons if you just - !

DERPY (shouting, interjecting) Everypony, time out!

The tense, copyright-free instrumental battle music stops.

DERPY (cont'd) (impassioned) We're supposed to be having fun - as a team - and we're not even listening to each other. Please, can we all just take a deep breath and...

DERPY, TICK TOCK, and the DOCTOR inhale and exhale slowly.

DERPY (cont'd) (calmly) Relax? Good. It's just...a game. I'm sorry for complaining so much.

DOCTOR

I'm sorry as well, Ditzy, Tick Tock. I suppose I got a bit heated there.

TICK TOCK

Apologies accepted, and likewise, I apologize for neglecting my duties as the designated melee combatant.

DOCTOR

No no, Tick Tock, I completely understand. You just wanted to use the cannons because you get to roll a lot of ten-sided dice if they hit.

TICK TOCK

That is...a correct assessment. But now that we're in this predicament, how do we claim victory?

DERPY (hopeful) Well, there are three cannons now, and three of us. Maybe we can...?

The tense, copyright-free instrumental battle music returns.

TICK TOCK

That's...yes, that can work. But first, Blueprint administers a healing potion to the Drifter.

DOCTOR (relieved) Thank you!

TICK TOCK

Then he will aim a scattershot mana cannon at the windigos and urge the Drifter and Sugarplum to do the same.

DERPY

Yep!

DOCTOR Done! Now what?

TICK TOCK chuckles in anticipation. The music fades out.

TICK TOCK We fire. Roll to hit.

A heartbeat sound quickens and grows in volume during the next two lines of dialogue. DERPY

I'm gonna shake my dice for luck...

DOCTOR (under his breath) C'mon, roll high, roll high...

The sound of three dice bouncing on the wooden table. TICK TOCK gasps, and then DERPY and the DOCTOR cheer.

DERPY (enthusiastic) All three of us rolled a natural twenty?! W-what?! That's amazing!

TICK TOCK (dumbfounded) That's...amazing is an understatement. There was only a one in eight-thousand probability of that outcome occurring. DERPY

Doctor, did you rig our dice with your Sonic Screwdriver? DOCTOR

And tarnish the sanctity of game night? Perish the thought, Derpy!

DERPY giggles.

DOCTOR (cont'd)

Tick Tock? Would you like to do the honors of rolling our total damage?

Sound of TICK TOCK's magic flaring. TICK TOCK (borderline euphoric) Three critical successes. Applied to three scattershot mana cannons. I get to roll...fifteen pentagonal trapezohedrons.

Sound of fifteen dice clattering noisily onto the table. DERPY and the DOCTOR cheer. TICK TOCK chuckles. TICK TOCK (cont'd) That was immensely satisfying.

DERPY

Guess we have to count it all up now.

DOCTOR

Or we can use a teensy-weensy sonic shortcut.

The Sonic Screwdriver buzzes.

DOCTOR (cont'd) Ninety-nine damage total. That's surely enough.

Sound of turning pages, followed by DERPY's excited gasp. Royalty-free victory music plays.

DERPY

It is! We beat the windigos! Victory hug!

Sound of movement as DERPY pulls the DOCTOR and TICK TOCK into a group hug. DERPY giggles. TICK TOCK sighs contently.

TICK TOCK (happy, mellow) I love game night.

[ask-the-reaper-conspiracy]

And thus the turn order is established. Until such time as something occurs to upset it, you’ll make your moves according to said order: Lord van Zieks will move first, Dr Wilson second, Judge Jigoku third, Inspector Gregson fourth, Dr Sithe fifth, and last but not least, Miss Brett sixth. After Miss Brett makes her move, Lord van Zieks will then have the chance to move again. Acting earlier and acting later each have their own advantages. Act first, you’re the first to put your ideas into practice and see what results. Act last, you’ve the chance to see all those results and adjust accordingly before making your move. Your moves can be whatever you want them to be. I’ll describe the environment as you experience it, you’ll choose how to interact with it in order to progress the story, and I’ll narrate how the environment responds to you. Sometimes you’ll need to roll your dice to see how your efforts turn out. I’ll tell you when. Unless I tell you otherwise, roll two of them and use the total. High rolls and low rolls will both produce interesting results. Failing at a task will not stop you dead in your tracks - it will change the direction of your story. You may pursue individual goals during the course of the game if you wish. I encourage you to do what interests you most. With that said, you are a team. The puzzles and challenges ahead are for you to conquer together: if one of you falls, the rest will also suffer. And so it begins. .....

Imagine for me: a chamber some twenty feet square, ten feet high, built of dark stone bricks and worn paving slabs, lit by torches flickering in wrought iron sconces. There you stand, all together. Behind you, a stone archway holds cold, inky blackness - and then, in the blink of an eye, nothing. Only the blank wall where once there was…an entrance? An exit? Neither, now. Ahead of you, set into the wall opposite the archway, stands a set of heavy double doors, made of aged wood and reinforced with iron bands. They are locked and chained shut. You can see the locks clearly in the torchlight. Six of them. The rest of the room is occupied by eight stone plinths. Each one holds one or more objects. From here you can see what they are: a battle-scarred shield, a bandolier of knives, a leather-bound tome, an engraved chalice, a huge studded club, a quiver of arrows, a sheathed sword, and a masterwork violin. The plinths appear to have markings on them, but they’re quite small; the light isn’t good enough to read them at this distance. There is also something engraved into the lintel above the doors. The locks, too, appear to be marked in some way. Again, closer examination is needed. My Lord van Zieks, you have the first turn. What would you like to do?

"Oh now, don't sulk, it's not so bad coming in last!"

"I'm not sulking, my good Doctor." "Only devoting my thoughts to understanding this game."

"Oh! ... Perhaps you will help me, then. It's unlike any I've seen yet."

"..... Yes, perhaps."

-

"Can't say I was expecting something like this, but what the heck." "As long as this game of pretend don't drag on too long, eh?"

-

"So this is what I'll be doing with my evening..." "Third place isn't too bad, right?" "Continue."

-

"Mm. I wonder if Maria would be interested in something like this." "Though it strikes me as being a bit too occult for my taste." "Still, I will play."

-

"Ah, I've played pretend many times with Barok when he was a boy, I can do this!" "Let's see now..." "Well, if we're in a strange location, the first thing I'd like to do is make sure I am armed." "So I will take that sword on one of the plinths."

—————–

Previous ask

Check this page for credits

[daemonmatthias]

For those of you not in the know-

The recent announcement by Hasbro/Wizards of the Coast is regarding future changes to the legal requirements to make money using content owned by “One D&D”, which is the future version of the current “D&D Beyond” platform.

D&D Beyond is a subscription service that houses rulebooks, extra content, etc. It’s used to build characters (but you only have access to races and classes that are in the books you have paid for, either through your subscription tier or purchased individually), and even host games (DMs can build maps/move character tokens, players have access to content the DM has paid for, everyone can roll dice digitally, etc.) Honestly, imo, it’s been a great service, especially for groups that can’t play in person.

However, since Hasbro purchased it, they have been developing it into an full-fledged “all-in-one” platform they’re calling One D&D. They’re saying the purpose is to make things more streamlined and easier for people to use/access everything related to D&D. But it’s clear from the changes they’ve been announcing that their true purpose is to monetize the shit out of it. Every decision they’ve made has been an obvious move to increase revenue. They’ve even stated that they believe D&D is “undermonetized.” This is why you may have seen posts the past few months pushing people towards more indie TTRPGs.

This particular recent move that people are very upset about says that ANYONE who intends to make any amount of money using content owned by One D&D will have to go through Hasbro with it. From my understanding, the original announcement was extremely vague about how this would affect various streamers and youtubers, since they make videos about D&D rules/mechanics and stream live games. Further discussion and analysis has worked out that what we know right now about this rule is this:

Basically, content creators making less than 50,000 USD will be required to place a badge of some kind all over their stuff saying the content is licensed by One D&D and will not be required to give Hasbro a percentage of their earnings. Content creators making between 50,000 and 750,000 USD will be required to report earnings to Hasbro, but will not be required to pay a percentage of their earnings either. Content creators making more than 750,000 USD will be required to pay a percentage of their earnings to Hasbro. No particular amount/percentage has been stated; some are theorizing that the percentage required will be negotiated with each content creator/company.

Ultimately, this move indicates that Hasbro has wildly misunderstood what makes D&D so popular. They seem to think D&D is so popular because of the rules/mechanics that they own. Really, D&D is so popular because of the content creators- they stories those creators tell using the rules/mechanics, the creators who explain the rules/mechanics in detail (making the game in general more accessible because there’s help out there), the creators who make advice videos and strategy videos, the creators who cosplay and provide inspiration, etc.

Hasbro has this all backwards, and they’re going to lose a LOT of customers over it. There’s better options out there that aren’t just money grabs.

We personally already own physical copies of most of the D&D books we want and my husband will probably move to Foundry to host D&D games. (Foundry does require more set up and isn’t quite as easy to use, but it’s less restrictive than D&D Beyond/One D&D.) Plus, I have the rulebooks for 2 other games that I’m honestly more interested in playing than I am in D&D, and I’ve got at least 1 more game’s rulebook on my wishlist.

Hey folks

If you currently are subscribed to D&D Beyond, consider unsubscribing, you won’t lose any perks until the subscription period is over and if enough people unsubscribe and mention the OGL 1.1 as the reason, Hasbro might roll back the changes, sub numbers are an easy way to project loss of revenue. Third party products, streamers, online content creators and the fan community are what made D&D what it is, not Hasbro and I think they could do with a reminder.

[alln64games]

Getter Love: Panda Love Unit

JP release: 4th December 1998

PAL release: NA

NA release: N/A

Developer: Hudson

Publisher: Hudson

Original Name: Getter Love!!: Chō Renai Party Game Tanjō

N64 Magazine Score: ?? (their score in their review box was “??”)

I’m an avid board gamer and one important aspect of them to me is choice. One game mechanic that removes a lot of choice is “roll to move”: roll a dice and move that many spaces. Unfortunately, most video games that take on the board game concept use this method, which is why the game itself is more of a way to pad out time between minigames.

I was surprised, then, that Getter Love appears to be a game with rather complex board game mechanics.

Getter Love is a Japanese exclusive digital board game with a dating sim theme. Thankfully, there is a complete English fan translation, so I can understand the game. A group of lads have challenged themselves to get a girlfriend, with a time limit of six weeks. You do this by chatting to one of the available girls, going on dates with them and “confessing” you love for them and having them accept you – if you have enough love points.

It sounds a bit skeevy, yet the game manages to not come across as such when you play it, with an almost childlike view of dating and romance of simply getting to know each other and talking.

The game takes place over a maximum of 14 “days” with each having three turns: Morning, Evening and Night. You start each turn by picking a destination, and you will start travelling there. Timing is very important, as you sometimes need to get somewhere before characters, and sometimes after. Everyone moves at the same speed, but you have to uses of “speed up” and “slow down” per turn to try and time when you reach somewhere.

The girls of the game have schedules while other NPCs also move around. You can get given hints as to where some will be, or they’ll phone you and let you know if they like you. Once you’ve arrived at your destination, any relevant events will happen and then you can choose an action – usually talk to a girl if one is there. You can also ask them out on a date where you can pick a time and a place – you’ll need to try and remember when other players have dates with them as you want them to be free.

On top of managing your time, you’ll also need to keep track of style, stamina and money. These can be increased by going home and washing, sleeping or working.

There are luck-based elements. One of the roaming NPCs will give you advice and a free card (which grants you a one-use power), while Reika will cling to you, spread lies about you and chase other girls away. There are other random events, such as a man in a superhero costume challenging you to a fight, a very aggressive cat and an older women who offers you money for something which is censored (after which, bad rumours spread about you).

Of course, there are also minigames, but these are attacks on other players. There are only four of them: a quiz (about the people in the game), a basic first person shooter in a level that looks a bit like Block Fort from Mario Kart, a phone where you’re fighting for control of a microphone and a 3v1 game where three players spawn “thugs” to ruin the other person’s date. To activate these, you must be in the same place as another player and choose to battle – they’re not a common occurrence like Mario Party.

Meeting up with a girl, going on dates, giving presents and choosing the right dialogue options and even talking to their friends will get you love points. If you think your points are at a high enough level, you can confess your feeling for a girl – but if you’re not ready, you’ll lose a ton of love points with them, so it isn’t a risky element as you can’t always tell if you’ll be fully accepted.

Not including adaptations of actual board games, the actual mechanics behind the board game are some of the best I’ve come across in a video game. There’s a lot to analyse, plenty of choices to make and you need to adapt as you play. It’s a lot more than I expected from what some people describe as a “competitive dating sim”.

Oh, sure, there’s thing we can do, like hanging around outside Japanese schools without fear of attracting unwanted police attention, or turning up at a record shop and starting a fight with a bloke in a yellow suit and matching headband, but, apart form that, we get a bit stuck around the point where you’re trying to chat up a saucy Japanese bird and, suddenly, a family of four turn up and start talking to you.

- Tim Weaver, N64 Magazine #26

Remake or remaster?

The English translation makes it playable enough to try out. Still, more video games with a board game theme should have better systems like this.

Official Ways to get the game

There is no official way to get Getter Love!! Panda Love Unit

[iliaclwrites]

Lemme know if this is out of character lol I’m in love with your cheerleader/reader series 🫶🏽 but I was wondering if you would be willing to write something about them getting into an serious argument and are giving each other the silent treatment? Like maybe hellfire gets fed up with how they’re both acting since it’s affecting their campaigns (somehow) and so maybe they lock both of them in the room together to work it out and barricade the door so they cant get out? lol if you write this then thank you sm in advance and if not then I completely understand 😊🫶🏽

this got so long wtf lmao.

warnings: fighting, swearing, angsty-ish? not really lmao it's fluff

Mike screeched to a halt into Hellfire, almost slamming into the table. "Sorry I'm--" His voice died in his throat, staring at the scene. Dustin, Lucas, Jeff and Gareth were sitting on the floor, rolling dice into a mat dully and reading, while Eddie and you were huddled behind the screen, whispering furtively, as though no one else was there. "They're still fighting? How long've they been like this?"

"As in the rest of this week, or just today?" Lucas asked flatly, looking up at Mike. "They've been fighting since I got here."

"Since lunch," Gareth corrected.

"Since Monday," Dustin complained, dropping his head into his knees. "Do they ever take a break? How do they eat?"

Lucas leaned back on his palms, staring up at the ceiling. "He was fighting with her before and after cheer," he muttered. "I saw him waiting on the bleachers. They argued in sign language." He mimed something with his hands, and Dustin swallowed a laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. "Like, what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, so I'm the unreasonable one?" you snapped, standing up to put your hands on your hips. "This is all my fault, then? Sure, Eddie. Real mature."

"You're the one playing the blame game," he countered, wagging a finger at her. "Don't go all 'woe is me,' you knew what you signed up for when you started dating me."

"Yeah!" you huffed. "Dating! Participle gerundive form! Active! As in, something I am doing!"

("Wait, lemme get this down," Dustin muttered. "We're doing participles in Latin. Did she say gerundive or ablative?")

"Oh, don't get all grammar on me, princess," Eddie hissed. "You know it's suicide for me if I go with you."

"Right!" Mike yelled, and your heads snapped up at him. "Okay. I'm sick of this. We're sick of this." He looked behind him at everyone else, who were nodding quickly. "Can you guys please sort this shit out so we can get on with living our lives?"

"Without yelling," Dustin added.

"Or threats?" Gareth said.

"Or passing notes between you two on the days you refuse to talk?" Lucas said.

"Dude, they made you do that?" Jeff asked, and Lucas sighed, nodding. "Real mature."

"You two," Mike continued, pointing at both of you. "Are not coming out of this room until you get this all sorted." He put his hands on his hips, seemingly possessed by the spirit of his older sister Nancy. "Either kiss and make up, or starve to death in Hellfire. Come on," he said to everyone else. "Barricade the door."

Eddie's mouth opened and closed, fishlike, as the kids stormed out of the room. Outside, Dustin and Lucas slammed themselves against the door, pressing their ears to it as Mike peered through the keyhole.

"I didn't realise it was getting that bad," you said weakly, moving to sit on the table. Eddie pursed his lips, not looking at you. "They probably think mommy and daddy are divorcing."

He sighed. "I don't understand why you care so much," he admitted quietly. "It's just a stupid dress up party. With stupid popular kids. Chrissy's gonna win prom queen, Jason's gonna win prom king, I'll get blamed for spiking the punch. It's boring highschool bullshit."

You glared at him. "It's my boring highschool bullshit," you snapped. "It's my prom. They're my friends. I want to go."

"Then go!" Eddie said, sweeping his hands. "I'm not stopping you. It's just stupid fucking promnight."

("God," Dustin muttered. "Eddie really sucks at this."

"I'm on his side," Mike murmured back. "He shouldn't have to go to prom if he doesn't want to."

"Wait," Gareth said, pressing his ear to the door. "They're fighting about prom? That's it? I thought he'd murdered someone, or something.")

"I want to go with my boyfriend," you hissed, pressing a finger into his chest. "You're my boyfriend, and I want my boyfriend to be at my 'stupid fucking prom night'!"

He barked a laugh. "What, with the corsage, and the matching tie, and pulling up in a rusty ol' van, and some girl crying in the bathroom, and your mom forcing us to take photos? No tha--" Eddie stopped, watching as you blushed under his gaze. "Holy shit. You actually want that, don't you?"

"Sue me!" you cried, not meeting his eyes. "Yes! I want you to pull up in your stupid van, and I want to get spun around with you to, I don't know, Duran Duran, and I want Chrissy to take a group photo with us on her new Polaroid, and I want you to step on my feet while we're dancing. Is that wrong? Is that stupid?"

Eddie swallowed thickly. "And we'll get drunk on the punch that I definitely didn't spike," he added softly. "And I'll get a matching corsage for you."

You smiled, pressing your hand to his cheek. "And we'll blow it all off halfway to smoke behind the bikeshed," you murmured, smiling up at him hopefully. "Come on, Eds. That doesn't sound so bad, does it?"

He sighed. "Princess, it'd be social suicide for you," he said, tucking a hank of your hair behind your ear. "Your friends hate me enough as it is. I don't wanna give them more reasons to push you away, alright? I've seen how they fight with you. About me."

You rolled your eyes. "They're stupid," you said drily. "I don't care. All I care about is my boyfriend watching me walk down the staircase of my house--"

"You live in a one-storey."

"And going, whoa, when he sees me in my prom dress for the first time. Maybe even a choked up, 'you look nice!', or something."

"You watch way too many John Hughes movies," he snorted, pressing a kiss to your hair. "Do I have to wear a suit?"

"Please."

He chewed on his lower lip. "...And you'll be in a dress?"

"The prettiest."

"And no one is gonna say anything that the top flyer is dancing with Eddie the Freak?"

You took one of his hands in your good one, pressing your mouth to the warm metal of his ring. "If they do, I won't hear it. And if they say anything, anything at all," she added darkly, "they'll see just how much training I put into my high kicks."

He smiled, pressing his face into your hair, before growing sombre. "I don't like the fact they treat you badly because of me."

You shrugged. "Then you're gonna have to get used to it, Munson. I'm sticking around." You pursed your lips at him, closing your eyes. "Make up kiss? Pwease?"

He laughed, and pressed his mouth to yours for the first time this week, groaning at the contact. Your good arm flew around his head, pulling him between your legs as you made up for lost time. You hissed as he nudged your bad wrist, and he stroked your cheek as an apology, refusing to pull away.

"Eddie!" you gasped, arching in surprise as he hauled your body closer to him, pressing you right up against his chest as he planted both hands either side of you, caging you in. "God, fuck, I missed this," you mumbled, hooking your legs around his waist as he dug his teeth into your neck, biting down. "Shit, god, fuck, please."

"Right!" Mike said, slamming the door open, face bright red. "Glad that's all sorted out then. Glad you two could. Uh. Kiss and make up."

You laughed weakly, resting your head against Eddie's chest, and flipped them off in tandem.

[neonponders]

I couldn’t not write a lil something after seeing @lazybakerart ‘s awesome Billy ~

It’s a bit short, but happy birthday, love! You’re a light in this fandom and a constant inspiration. Have a wonderful day!

~ read on ao3 ~

[ summoner!billy x demon!Steve - nsfw sexy time ]

• • • • •

Billy strolled to the counter of the video store. He counted dollar bills in his wallet, whereas all heads were lifted to see the news story on the overhead televisions. Billy thought this place was supposed to be showing movies on those, but 60 Minutes was sure as hell making its money.

Robin, the clerk, thankfully did math faster than the cash register. She smiled and sounded relieved when she said, “You’re not as riveted to the board game drama as everyone else?”

Billy smirked with a glance at the screen. SATANIC PANIC slid on an endless banner beneath the news anchor sitting at his desk. “If they care so much about dice rolling, then Vegas will just be a desert soon.”

Robin scoffed, “If kids’ board games made as much money as casinos, no one would give a damn. Enjoy your movies.”

“Oh, I will,” he grinned, and then paused with his eyes on the tiny shelf of candy bars on the counter. “Actually, give me all of those.”

Robin already had a hand reaching for them when she repeated, “All of them?”

Billy simply opened the bag holding his movies for her to drop them in. “My date likes Paydays.”

He gave her the cash and strolled out to his car. More grocery bags rustled in the breeze as he drove home. He’d had to restock; his date was a high maintenance catch, but Billy wasn’t the catch-and-release type.

Which accounted for the latest decor on his floor. He’d already rolled up the rug and moved the furniture out of the way so the the pentagram had all the space it needed. Steve had helped him paint it, since he claimed the original drawing on a notebook was like a bad telephone connection.

Steve, who liked his alfredo salty and his candy bars cold. Billy could understand that last one if it was summer, but they still had a month or so before such heat arrived.

Regardless, he threw the bars into the fridge and started dinner. The sauce was surprisingly easy, so while the noodles cooked, Billy went around the pentagram lighting candles. They take a few seconds too long to light, since they’re new, but Billy has done this so many times that it’s fast. Much faster than the whole evening it took the first time.

As he held his lighter over the last candle, he started the incantation. He kept his voice deep in his chest, both because there had to be some feeling to all of this, and because Steve liked when he made his voice extra low.

The wick caught aflame, and the lighter got tossed onto the couch so Billy could handle the next part.

Steve called it an athame.

Billy called it a dull knife.

So, he didn’t use a knife. He used a sharp as hell box-cutter blade with a bit too much olive oil on his fingers.

“Fuck. Jesus,” he cursed as red, red dripped onto his floor -

“He’s a dick, what are you calling him out for? Billy.”

Steve’s jaw dropped at the sight of his bleeding hand. Billy just smiled, loving the way his boyfriend just manifested out of thin air like that. The first time had been so theatrical and clumsy. Nearly burnt the house down. Now Billy as good as left the door unlocked for him.

Steve frowned like a pissy mother hen. He grasped that bleeding hand and towed Billy back to the kitchen sink. “I thought I told you to get one of those pokey, stabby things that diabetics use.”

“I couldn’t make it to the pharmacy today,” Billy purred while water moved over his hand. “Why are you playing nurse? Get your horns out, baby.”

Steve sighed, but that vein in his forehead began to bulge. The one in his neck too. Steve had pretty veins. And the demon was hungry. Reaching...why Steve was pretending some sort of chivalry was beyond his and Billy’s experience.

“Infection tastes disgusting. And if you run out of blood, you die.”

“Are you saying you’re not ready to move in together?” Billy taunted. But then he conceded, “This just happened. There’s nothing to clean.”

“It’s you.”

“What’re you saying?” Billy’s tone darkened. He was good with his bark. Good with his bite too.

It softened Steve right into shifting his weight, slouching a little and looking up at him from underneath heavy lashes. “It’s not considered healthy to want my type of company. Especially permanently.”

Billy lightened up. He smiled as he lifted his hand out of Steve’s to turn the faucet off. He let his hand bleed. “Aren’t you the source of sin and pleasure and temptation?”

“I just worry about you, B - ”

That wet hand touched his cheek, holding him still for Billy to kiss up into his mouth, because his demon was taller even when slouching. Despite the plush softness of his lips, Billy felt the stiffness of Steve’s features. He opened his eyes to see Steve’s brows pinched together; the breaths through his nose were too shallow as he tried and failed to avoid the smell of delicious red.

“What’re you waiting for? The pasta’s still got another minute.”

Steve’s eyes went out of focus as his eyelids heavily shut. He turned his face into Billy’s palm, blindly licking and finding the split in his flesh. Billy winced a little at the sharp prickle of friction on an open wound, but it didn’t last long. Steve had said there were different types of demons.

Steve wasn’t the pain type.

Billy didn’t know if he manipulated his mind or his nerves or all of it, but his hand stopped hurting. Instead of sharp prickles, he felt the slick muscle of Steve’s tongue. The tickle made him smile. Made his dick move in his jeans.

Steve wasn’t the shame type of demon, either.

Billy felt himself moved against the counter, but only for a moment because Steve started to struggle with his sweatshirt. The demon dressed like the prissiest prep Billy had ever seen, but he grinned because he knew why that shirt was coming off. It moved and roiled with wings caged inside it. Billy held his sleeves for Steve to yank his arms free and dump the thing onto the floor.

His horns almost blended in with his hair. Dark brown and curved, with the slightest golden sheen like Steve’s hair.

His wings had nowhere to hide, though. With whatever glamor Steve used wearing off, the large wings stretched wide, knocking over a kitchen chair. Billy chuckled and put his hands on Steve’s waist. Felt the way the skin almost seamlessly shifted into his dark feathers...

Billy had asked once why Steve’s wings were so patchy. He still had the soft plumery over the topmost ridge and joints of his wings, but when they stretched like that, the bare skin made him look equal parts bat and bird.

“Did falling from grace burn your wings?” Billy had teased, but also genuinely wanted to know.

A guard had gone up behind Steve’s eyes. Made him a real bitch to talk as Billy learned through trial and error Steve’s sweeter traits. Billy liked the sweet. He liked the bitch too.

“Corporate policy doesn’t give away that information,” he’d replied. Whatever that means. Billy’s thoughts on ‘God’ were skeptical and loose.

Billy glanced at his hand while Steve kissed his way down Billy’s throat. Healed. Not so much as a pink line of scar tissue. He could feel the silken strands of Steve’s hair with ease, and the hard, smooth ridges of a horn curving along his skull.

Lips continued down the exposed skin of Billy’s torso. Steve yanked the unbuttoned shirt from his jeans and popped the closure. Like a dial being cranked up, Billy’s erection filled all the way up, standing out of his jeans. He shuddered through his voice and held onto that horn. He might never get used to that; how Steve could turn his arousal up like a dimmer switch.

He’d still held the box cutter blade when Steve towed him to the kitchen. Billy had to do a little more work to rile Steve up, but he was feeling feisty today.

“Billy,” the demon growled, dark eyes lifting to him when he smelled fresh blood. Then he gasped, “Billy!” as a bloody palm grasped his forehead. Billy raked through Steve’s hair, smearing red over his skin, which shined like inconspicuous oil through his hair. When Billy gripped one of his horns, Steve vocally shuddered. He held onto Billy’s hips and would have rested his head on Billy’s abdomen if he was not held in place.

“Pasta timer says three minutes,” he crooned. A challenge.

Steve grimaced slightly, but not from pain or dislike. Billy could see the strain of Steve’s erection on his khakis where he knelt for him.

And then Steve drooled. He moved his head along Billy’s shaft, salivating from the scent of his blood, the aroma of his skin. Billy’s cock gave little kicks with his heart beat as he thought about how wet Steve must be in his pants.

He soon had to focus, though, because his toes lifted off the linoleum as Steve took him inside his mouth. The counter behind him caught him as Steve started a pace that escalated quickly. It was wet, sloppy, and delicious. Billy’s orgasm climbed with a dizzying speed, making him clench his hand on Steve’s horn.

Steve whined around the head of his dick, wanton and loud. As much as Billy liked being serviced, he wanted to give Steve something. He moved his foot between Steve’s splayed thighs and raised his foot to nudge the inseam of those khakis.

Steve’s knees closed around him, holding his foot there. His pelvis moved in tiny, clumsy thrusts while he brought Billy to a hard finish inside his mouth.

“Ah! Hahh,” Billy exhaled, panting like he was doing the work, holding onto both horns as Steve wrung him dry.

When Billy had nothing left, Steve tried to kiss his low tummy, even biting -

“No biting,” Billy scolded, but on his lustful breaths it sounded like a laugh or even an invitation. Before Steve could decide which one, Billy shoved him all the way down to the floor. Steve went willingly, lying beneath him as Billy shoved his jeans and underwear down, kicking them off. Steve looked beautiful, the way his body curved as he gazed up at him, large hands undoing his khakis and pushing them down like he were almost too tired or horny to manage it himself.

And he was wet.

Billy plopped right down on his thighs, taking that sloppy cock in hand and giving it slow pulls. He laughed against the bucking of Steve’s pelvis, because Steve had the strength to send him through the ceiling. Caught between willful lust and stopping himself from hurting him, Steve was a beautiful mess underneath him.

Billy felt pent up despite having seen Steve just yesterday. A tiny part in the back of his mind whispered that this was how addiction started.

And.

Well.

That little voice moaned with him when he lifted himself over Steve’s cock head, and sat right down. Steve cried out and then silenced himself by slamming his head back agains the floor. Billy cackled, loving the effect he had on him. “We’ve got all night and tomorrow. I took the day off.”

Steve blinked up at him, whiskey eyes engorging like the iris moved, not just the pupil. It was eerie and unsettling and Billy’s jaw went slack with how Steve commanded Billy’s blood to fill his erection again. Steve’s hands found the meaty junction of Billy’s thighs and hips. He held on there as he started thrusting up into him.

It took a moment for Billy to feel the pace and match it, planting his knees on the linoleum and getting his hands on Steve’s chest hair. Just the scratch of it against his skin made him sigh, “Hahh, yeah...” as his pelvis found the rhythm.

They met each other halfway, and it didn’t take long before Steve cried, “Billy. Ah! I’m there! Billy. Billy!”

Billy’s face and chest were flushed pink, his orgasm at Steve’s command as they rut against each other with brutal force. He knew his lumbar would hurt in an hour, but Steve, the worry wart, would take care of him. After their first night together, the loon had made Billy an epsom salt bath for christ (?) sake.

It took their climax a long minute to ease down, and only then did Billy realize that the timer on the microwave had gone off. It repeated it’s obligatory beeping, since he hadn’t turned it off -

Steve waved his hand, causing whatever circuit was in Billy’s microwave to cut out. The digital numbers went dark. Billy turned his head back to Steve, who grinned at him like he was drunk, and then reached for his bleeding hand like a damn lollipop.

The pasta was only a little bit soggy.

[bigboysteveharrington]

Eleven plays DnD with the boys once, but she keeps moving the dice to roll whatever number she wants and when she’s told she can’t do that she just says “Yes, I can. I just did.”

Will spent days preparing this campaign and his stress levels sky rocket as he insists that she’s ruining it and he’s like “What is the point of even rolling if she’s just going to choose whatever number she wants?”

But she doesn’t understand why anyone’s upset and she’s like “What? I thought the point was to win. I’m beating the monsters. Don’t you want to win?”

Mike calmly tries to explain why it takes the fun out of things if they don’t have to try to figure things out themselves and take risks and she just tells him, “But my way is faster”

She reluctantly agrees to stop cheating anyway though (not because she understands why it’s a problem, but just because everyone’s complaining about it) but then when the game just keeps going and going and she doesn’t understand what they’re all talking about but she does know she could have won an hour earlier easily, she starts messing with them by purposely turning perfectly fine rolls bad but no one can actually prove that she’s doing it so she just shrugs and insists they must just be really unlucky

She is not invited back to play with them again and she’s relieved to hang out with Max instead of sitting around while they play their game anyway

[neonir]

This is a post dedicated to appreciating the best spell in D&D 5e:

Now I know what you’re thinking:

“Well obviously that’s the best spell in the entire game, but please, please wont you tell us why in vivid detail?”

Yeah okay, lets do that.

So first up, boring stuff. 90 feet of range, sure, cool, that’s pretty groovy. Longer range than a lot of spells actually. A minute possible duration, also solid, 10ft radius, pretty good, aoe crowd control is great, even better at higher casts. 1 action. Fine, cool.

Now we got that shit out of the way, lets start drinking up the delicious goddamn nectar that is the power of taking away the one goddamn braincell your enemies have all been sharing this wholeass time.

LETS DIVE INTO THOSE JUICY ASS RANDOM EFFECTS. BECAUSE HAVING A SPELL WORK THE SAME WAY EVERY TIME IS FOR BORING ASS NERDS.

So say they roll a 9 or 10, they get to act normally, so this ain’t the best. This isn’t good, this works for them right?

WRONG.

This is to lure your dm into a false sense of MAINTAINING CONTROL.

THE DM DOESN’T CONTROL THE GAME ANYMORE.

NO ONE DOES. WELL ALMOST NO ONE.

THIS FUCKER DOES. WE’RE PUTTING OUR LIVES IN THIS FUCKERS HANDS AND TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THIS FUCKER CRAAAVES THE DEATH OF YOUR ENEMIES.

So next we have 7-8. Which I like to call: The Mario Party effect.

Chances are when you cast this on a group, you probably had a few of those goons next to one another. Enemies like to be close to one another, they’re friends, they get along.

OR AT LEAST THEY FUCKING USED TO.

NOW THEY BEAT EACH OTHER TO DEATH FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT. NO ONE KNOWS WHY.

THE DICE MADE THEM DO IT.

Or they might not be next to anyone, in which case they may as well have rolled a 2-6, a roll I like to call: Time out mode. This is what the dice rolls to make you earn your keep, it can’t do ALL the work killing all these people for you. Sometimes, it’ll just make all your enemies stand around not doing anything for turn after turn after turn.

Until they roll a 1. Now, you might be thinking “Move in a direction, that’s not that bad.” That’s because you don’t know.

There is a truth to confusion. A hidden reality within the dice. It hates them. It truly, truly hates the people it gets used on.

When they roll a 1, if the dice can kill them

It will.

It will have them run off cliffs, into lava, into attacks of oppotunity, it’ll run wizards into the loving embrace of your barbarian, it will feed the hapless mooks into the wall of fire your wizard made. If you have a woodchipper out somehow, it may as well be a goddamn black hole because they’re sure as shit not going anywhere fucking else.

So I know what you’re thinking now, you’re thinking:

“Wow Neonir, that sure does sound like a cruel and unjust lesson from god to inflict on your DM alright!”

And you’d be fucking right.

But you don’t quite understand.

These are but a few of the strongest enemies in the game, if you have a look, you’ll see they have a few immunities, there are more like them, some have immunity to other things, but you’ll always notice one thing. One thing missing from these lists.

Yeah.

It can work.

On anything.

Anything can be forced to run around to the benny hill theme, slapping its buddies and staring at stars.

I have not yet found a SINGLE. DAMN. THING. That you cannot confuse into submission.

Poisoned? Hah, maybe if you’re level 3 and fighting rats.

Charm? Can’t play with the big boys.

Paralyzed, cool, but still pretty much even chances of the target being immune at this point.

But confusion?

You could look your god in the it-damned eye. And you could say “Roll a fucking D10.”

[applesontheground]

bubba sawyer, brahms heelshire and stu macher with s/o who loves to play tabletop rpg

ok, first of all cute?? second of all, i've played D&D with my high school friends since 2017, so let me see what i can do for you! :3 (that being said, this is the RPG that will be talked about lol! it’s the one i know the most about!)

headcanons - Bubba Sawyer, Brahms Heelshire, & Stu Macher with an S/O who enjoys tabletop RPGs (GN reader)

Bubba Sawyer 🐖

☆ He’s so down! He’s already the kind of partner that gets all giddy about doing mundane things with you so long as it means he gets to be attached to you at the hip, but after you bring up that you like to play these elaborate games that require a bit of imagination, he’d be intrigued. Like most new players, he’ll need you to go over rules a couple times, but once he has it down you have a very engaged and rather creative person to play with. Assuming you’re DM/head of the table, you’d find yourself rather surprised by what he brings to the games you play. “Hey, that mini figure isn’t in my set. … What do you mean you ‘made’ it, Bubba? Out of what? … Huh. You made a Mimic? Oh shit, let me see-”

☆ POV: You guys playing on a night where chaos is anticipated and have to be ready for an interruption at any moment. The idea of Bubba having to play with his saw right under his chair because he’s got to be ready at a moment’s notice to get the fuck out there and do what he does best. ...Idk, this was just a cute side thought I immediately pictured when I was writing this.

☆ If you want to keep this between you and him, something the two of you can use to take a breather from everything else, then God forbid his brothers get wind of it. Chop and Nubbins would want anything and everything to do with it, inserting themselves into your session or yelling out commentary while the two of you try to play. They’re definitely the types that would propose crazy plot diversions in the campaign or talk over everyone else without meaning to (they’re just excited lol). Drayton would be watching with a frown and raised eyebrows, promptly walking away to mutter about how pointless the whole thing is and how you can’t even see what’s going on half the time, but you’ve caught him in the other room pausing in his own chores as you’re making a Stealth check during a tense moment, or making a face at something you decided to add.

☆ Grandpa would be a fairly docile spectator, though. He gets the honor to roll the d100 when needed. c:

Brahms Heelshire 🎭

☆ Unless you have another hobby that’s able to take up your free time, you most likely play a lot of games with Brahms already. At first, you had to as part of what was asked by the Heelshires, and now that you know about the man it’s even more so. At least he can move his own pieces this time...

☆ He likes games that require structure, and in turn might be a little lost with the imaginative side at first. Once you get him going, though, he takes like a duck to water. He’s good at creating dramatic moments in plots that you otherwise wouldn’t have planned! His inquisitions will also throw you in a loop, because half of the time the details he’s picked up on wouldn’t have even been something you gave an extra moment of thought to...

☆ Like Bubba, he’s also a very polite player. Well, that is when the dice rolling works in his favor 😬😬😬 Otherwise he’s highkey a poor sport. Basically, at his best he’s a rich storyteller and a resourceful eye to play with. At his worst, he’s scrapping the whole game because he got a strike of bad luck or the story didn’t pan the way he wanted it to.

☆ He’d also be a great DM when he has a full understanding of the game. Actually, maybe letting him call the shots would be better suited for him in general. Fuckin’ brat (affectionate).

Stu Macher 📞

☆ This man can’t sit still to save his life, so good luck haha! He’d be the guy stacking his dice set into a little tower in the corner, distracting other players by talking, forgetting it’s his turn and not knowing what the hell is going on while he decides what to do, etc. He’d be a dream at getting extra handbooks/drinks from the other room, though!

☆ He might give you a little bit of a hard time without meaning to, as well. His voice taking on that pestering high pitch as he stoops over your shoulder to look at the unopened box in your hands, “Oooooh, what kind of nerd shit is this, babe?” He’s sort of familiar with the premise, having been dragged to stores that have places to play these sorts of games before, but other than that he’s got nothing.

☆ There are moments where he actually plays, though. You knew he had it in him, recognizing that gleam in his eye when he tells you or another person to roll a Perception check for their character out of the blue... Definitely best suited for a Rogue class imo uwu

☆ When he realizes it’s a social thing that’s better with more than just you and him, it all starts to make more sense. You’re gonna end up playing it with a group that he scrapes together (and whether you know about that or not is up for debate). It’s his way of showing that he wants you to have fun, especially if you’re a DM-ing type. :3 Be forewarned, though: Randy will eventually come, and depending on how you feel about him it’s gonna be super fun/he’s going to give you a lot of good advice, or you two will be fighting to talk over each other the entire time while Stu just sits there knowing what he’s done.

[theregoesmylurkerstatus]

So... I have a lot of thoughts on the finale. I've deliberately kept my mouth shut, more or less, on the campaign overall because I'm a firm believer that you can't pass judgement -- at least not complete judgement -- on stories until they're over and done with.

Well, it's done! Kind of crazy. I've been watching Critical Role with almost insane consistency, viewing almost every single episode live, with maybe five-ish exceptions, since episode 19, and I've been blogging it for, what, two and a half years?

It's a weird feeling. It's been such a constant thing for me that I'm always gonna have love for it and remember with a lot of fondness.

...Which is in spite of the fact that I can now comfortably say I'm pretty eh on the ending. I know not being positive about something most of us have loved a lot for a very long time can sting a bit, but I personally think it also stings when people relentlessly crow over how good they think it is or want it to be, to the point where you feel you can't voice your absolutely valid upsets or dissatisfactions. So, here goes, if anyone's interested! I'd be curious to see other opinions, too!

I actually drafted a post talking about my overall frustrations with the campaign a whole two weeks ago, and then scrapped most of it when 140 blew me out of the water. I was really touched, and really happy. I hadn't expected it, but it shockingly felt right, you know?

Unfortunately 141 robbed me of most of that satisfaction and brought me right back to neutral.

The blanket statement you have to make, of course, is that you can’t criticise this as a DnD game, and you can’t be mad at the cast for playing it in a way they think is best for them. They’re the players, Matt’s the DM, and in the end it makes no sense for them to try to make themselves act how they think the audience wants them to, and I’m sure most of the audience wouldn’t like the result anyway.

That said, there is an audience. And that’s where I see this clash coming in. As a DnD game, as long as the players and DM have all enjoyed it and been satisfied, it’s a successful game! But for us, it’s not a DnD game. For us, we’re watching a story be written in real time through the medium of an RPG. And while as a DnD game you can’t fault it, as a piece of media, I completely get why the way things have gone has sat weirdly for a lot of people.

It's not satisfying to see so many character hooks dealt with so quickly or left as an offscreen "and then you do it." If they don't want to keep playing to dive into it, absolutely, but for us who have been watching this as a story with all these character elements get so built up, it's a huge anti-climax.

Which is a lot of what this campaign has been, really.

Oh, Nott’s cursed! But through a really cool character moment that problem is completely taken care of with no consequences we see. Yay, I want her to be Veth and that was an iconic move from Jester! Still, it kind of feels like this was built up to be a big problem and at the first success it was let go... Caleb's got a really intense frightening past he tries to hide, I wonder how the Mighty Nein will respond? Oh, they found out, but it's not a difficult revelation for anyone. Looks like it's easy for them to move past it and forgive. Yeah, that's healthiest for the characters, but huh, kinda undercuts it as a storyline or point of interest. Oooh, Avantika’s back! Ah, they’ve killed her and grabbed the eye again. I mean I don’t want them to die or for Uk’otoa to be free, but I’m starting to feel like that’s not much of a threat anyway. The Traveler’s been kidnapped! Nah he hasn’t, he tried to save Jester so he was let go with no further issue, and also he wasn’t actually in any danger anyway. Oh... Cool. So... Why should I care or be worried?

And these are just the biggest ones I remember being kind of let down by. I wanted to see them STRUGGLE for the successes to have meaning. To my view, threats of failure -- real failure -- really decreased the more the campaign went on, with a few exceptions.

Because don't get me wrong, we've definitely had struggles, and those have made for some of the best moments! Molly’s death, Yasha’s kidnapping, Yeza’s imprisonment. When failures that were threatened are allowed to occur, it’s far more gratifying when it’s followed by success, because you understand that that success was actually necessary. It shows us that what they do really means something.

Honestly, that's why the final battle really shut me up, because nothing makes you quite feel stakes and failure like having two PCs die, and having a resurrection ritual fail -- AND knowing that failure would be delivered on, had it not been for a seemingly miraculous roll of the dice to turn it around. One of the greatest failure's -- Molly's death -- made the success of his resurrection put a lot of my other issues to rest immediately, because to be honest? Molly's resurrection was the biggest success of the campaign, exactly because it was originally the biggest failure.

But this episode, we got to see the other side of making threats and successes feel disappointing -- when you get the impression that success was robbed from you. Again, their characters, their choices, but to have them roll an intervention to get Molly's soul, to convince Molly to come back with his own possessions they've so loved, after so long and so many struggles... only to apparently not get Molly at all?

Changed, of course. Memories, maybe he'd never get them back, though that seems inconsistent to how the initial resurrection was played and Matt's hints. It even makes sense that not having his memories and being a bit different, he might forge a new identity, but insisting Molly was a different person entirely after such a supposed hard won success to get Molly back, especially after what his death meant to the audience and potentially healing that old wound? It robs the narrative of a LOT of catharsis, at least for me and I know many others.

Trent, too, I'm very up and down on. He was so built up -- and what fun that build up had -- and I very much disagreed with the idea that the best story would be dealing with him offscreen.

It's true that you don’t need to explicitly address, confront, or explore every big aspect of character's story hooks and background ties for PCs to move past them and grow healthily. But that does not make it a satisfying viewing experience. People quietly healing in real life is healthy. People quietly healing in an explosive fantasy setting is frustrating for the audience.

What on earth is the point of a story if you don’t get to SEE THE ESTABLISHED CONFLICTS go anywhere? A lot of the characters got distant, quiet resolutions, if that, to everything we wanted to see.

Except, we did get to see Trent. It was a really fun, inventive battle, from opening to conclusion, but much like Travelercon, much like Nott's/Veth's problem with the hag, these were things that the audience in general wanted to see be really dug into and explored, and every single one of them got, in my opinion, quickly tidied up instead. Trent got beaten in the first and only proper battle they had with him, which, after all his build up, is pretty disappointing for a villain many of us wanted to see be a big deal. It really just felt like they were trying to tidy up to get on with the epilogue, which is not what a lot of us were looking for with Trent especially.

And that's how most of their endings felt to me. It didn't feel like any of them had reached a comfortable conclusion. Literally all of them, bar Veth and Caduceus, continued on their character journey threads, without each other and very quickly. Meeting Yasha's tribe and Vandran, Caleb finally openly debating changing time for his parents, Trent and Zeenoth's trials and the changing of the guard at the Assembly... All were things it would have been so fun to have all the PCs react to and explore together, and instead they were fleeting encounters in the latter half of a seven hour finale.

Is all this, from Molly not really coming back to Trent being a finale side plot to the Nein continuing on their individual journeys, potentially realistic to how these fantastical things might go down in real life? Sure! But that's not necessarily a good thing.

Stories THRIVE on conflict and resolution. That’s what makes them FUN! Conflict isn’t nearly so fun in real life and resolutions are often frustrating question marks, so no, past a certain point I don’t WANT stories to be realistic. I want stories to be SATISFYING.

And campaign 2 has fallen far short of the mark.

I haven’t spoken... Basically a word of this for most of the campaign, because as I said I’m a firm believer that you can’t necessarily judge something until it’s over, and because I ALSO firmly believe that being negative WHILE trying to enjoy something is counterproductive. I have had no interest in spoiling or naysaying the fun of the campaign for anyone, least of all myself.

But it's done now, and all I can say is... I really have had fun. I love the characters. I love their relationships. I’m pretty okay with where they’ve ended up. I’m not mad, really, and I’m still going to think of this campaign with a lot of affection. But it hasn’t been a satisfying story, even though for a week following episode 140 I thought, despite all the brushed over story threads, it might be.

So... to try and reclaim some of that satisfaction for myself, I might ignore some aspects of the finale proper. Namely Kingsley specifically. Taliesin's choice -- but to me, it's pretty clear that who we saw at the end of 140 was Molly, and the tags on my posts will reflect that, just as my 141 tags will be for both Kingsley and Molly, for clarity's sake. I personally want to believe Molly did come back, however others might want to interpret it. The victory in 140 that meant so much to me is hollow otherwise, and it just kind of hurts that we would lose Molly after everything. I was okay with him being dead -- I'm not so okay with his resurrection being stolen.

Kingsley will always be canon, but Molly is what I choose to acknowledge. I get if you don't like that take, and that's okay! I didn't care for canon's in the end. That's the good thing about storytelling, is that no one can stop you from making your own versions.

For the people who are hopefully hyped for campaign 3, heck yeah have fun! I’m on the fence. My investment, which... I think I can objectively say was pretty substantive as this blog will attest, doesn't feel rewarded, so I’m not convinced I can faithfully keep up for over three years all over again with a strong possibility that I will once again be left disappointed. It's been a huge chunk of my life, and... yeah!

I’ll take a break, probably, view (and liveblog, if people want!) campaign 1 when I’ve had a mental stretch and vacation, and then... I might start campaign 3. I definitely won’t be able to put the same time in it I did campaign 2 (my first love no matter what), knowing that it’s likely to not be so vindicated, in the end.

I swear I’m actually writing this in fairly good humour, but I totally get its always disappointing when the people you come to for fandom enjoyment just aren't sharing your fun. Honestly I’m half tempted to write all those frigging AUs I have sitting around! But I wanted to say my piece, and try and logically outline why this ending has been lacklustre for so many people, ultimately myself included.

Episode 140 felt right because it felt like a natural conclusion -- these disparate people coming together and finally being whole, finally soothing the hurt that MADE them so long ago. Episode 141 spat on that sentiment -- they all scattered to the winds, not as happy people to live out their dreams, but as confused people chasing up loose threads towards an unknown future, with the friend they thought returned still lost to them, ultimately.

It doesn't feel like the ending we should have gotten for the Mighty Nine, who were finally, finally all together. Until they weren't. So to me? I choose to acknowledge that they were, even if I have to force it to happen post-epilogue in my head.