#and they’re ool

[beware-of-you-98]

behold the worms and the stuffed animal shelf (aka its just the top of my bookshelf lol)

(i also used said worms to create a parody of mufasa’s death scene in the lion king if that’s a thing u guys want to see too bc tbh its funny)

[bunny23ygo]

Welcome to my personal archive of bjyx moments (number 1) that make me laugh stupidly at my phone. In no particular order.

1. We are…

My chinese is very limited but even i understand how yibo said "We are…" (我们是 wǒmenshì）Personally,,, not a turtle who goes face first in everything, call me overthinker but what can you do. Even so i just have to ask 😪 Yibo… do you think of yourself as an item?

2. A little over a year

Everybody hold something bc i was stunned…

This is the original, since i’ve now found out you can only share one video pro post.

My oh my… okay ofc you could say "well maybe he ment that they’ve known each other for a little over a year". Which is not true since they first met at DDU when xz went there with his XNine members. But, i’ll give you that. Why are they so akward after? Especially after realizing they’re being filmed.

Even if the lipreading isn’t real (i cant back it up or not , so i’ll just have to relay on the OP) it’s… very sus.

Limpwrist stamp.

3. 1 Minute apart

This isn’t a mind blowing hard candy but i just think it’s really cute and funny. It could be coincidence but by how much yibo gets tagged etc. He probably was lurking on xzs profile or they were together.

Translation:

XZ: Not going to say much! Old Wang, happy birthday! Charge forward!

YB: My god, thank you Zhan ge!!! (The motorcycle picture should be updated)

XZ: Okay!

The last reply also had this meme of yibo saying "wow" 💀 a true comedian

4. Jealousy?

This was during the promotions of The Untamed when they were in the happy camp episode.

Long story short they were garbage split into teams and had to squeeze through little holes to win and the other teams had to hinder them from doing that.

Yibo and Wei Daxun(?) squeezed through the same hole and when i tell you… xiaozhan looks mad, i mean it.

Update: The right picture is gu wei being jealous in OOL and the left one is how xiao zhan looked at them. Exact same expression, poor jealousy. And xz said that he gets jealous fast too.

Especially later people were like lmao what? and laughed bc it really does look funny but our xiaozhan was still upset looking

You can find the whole episode here, although these pictures were not screenshots from the finalcut

Dont worry, later Xiaoxiao was happy again after yibo tried to hinder him from going through the hole <3

5. 191110

During Ggs performance there was a big yellow sign among the red signs that read "gege, didi loves you" which is a quote yibo said in the bts of the untamed.

Xiaozhans reaction is just the cutest.

Btw i noticed that there’s an image limit…yes im new here. So i’ll probably continue this in another post!

[rainbowsky]

XZ's team refused to cooperate with business CP. I wonder why 👀👀👀

An important reminder that this is just a 🍉 rumor, and totally unverified. All 🍉 are just 🍉. To be taken with a huge grain of 🧂. I often see fans quoting these rumors as though they’re true, and that’s how false information gets embedded into the fandom. Please always qualify rumors as rumors.

This one seems to be a continuation of the overall theme that he's supposedly refusing romantic roles, etc. There are reasons to believe this could be true, and some reasons to be very skeptical.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

A lot of people (myself included) were expecting heavy fan service with OOL when it came out, but despite a bit during Weibo night 2020, we really didn’t see any. Instead, we got a steady diet of high fructose turtle candy from GG throughout the airing and promo for the drama.

I suspect the plan had initially been to do heavy fan service for the drama, but the shifts in the entertainment industry climate and in how fan wars are handled (artists are held fully responsible for them now, and there are consequences for failing to manage fans) led to a shift in how the project was marketed. We don’t know what all happened behind the scenes or what the teams involved discussed and decided, but it seems to me inevitable that things would change given all the changes in the industry climate. There could also have been other reasons (or I could just be wrong).

BXG often talk about GG’s rumored refusal to take on romantic roles and his rumored refusal to do CP marketing for upcoming projects as though it has something to do with DD, and I think that’s highly unlikely to be true. I talked recently about why BXG’s investment in the GGDD jealousy trope is unhealthy, offensive and even dangerous. It’s just not something BXG should be pushing/claiming about GGDD (not saying that’s what you are doing, here, Anon, but you left it vague and I know a lot of fans are into that stuff so it bears repeating).

In my previous post about the romantic role rumor I talked about some of the reasons why GG might refuse romantic roles, and those reasons all apply to why he might also refuse CP fan service. None of them have anything to do with DD. I’ll just restate those reasons here:

GG is a serious actor who wants interesting projects of substance and depth, and to shed his ‘idol’, ‘traffic star’ image. Part of shedding that image needs to involve engaging in projects in ways that don't encourage that kind of image/fan reaction.

GG is constantly having to deal with fan wars and controversies, and it's no doubt a huge headache for him and his team. Nothing - NOTHING - generates more of that BS than CP/romance stuff.

GG likely doesn't want to deal with straight relationship rumors, and CP marketing tends to lead to shipping and relationship rumors. Such rumors are a threat to his career. Celebrities in that region are marketed on a fantasy of romantic availability, and if they are thought to be in a serious relationship that can kill a career. It's why even straight celebrities hide their relationships.

I think that this all goes doubly, triply with CP marketing, moreso than romantic roles. Someone who deals with the kind of BS GG is constantly having to deal with - all the fan wars and rumors and controversy and being dismissed as a traffic star - all that stuff is a bane on his career. If he doesn’t take on CP marketing, let me guarantee you those are infinitely more important reasons than anything BXG clownery can cook up.

Now, I think it’s likely that GG also has personal reasons for being uncomfortable with straight fan service, but we can’t pretend they’re his primary motivation. I don’t think they would be, not by any stretch of the imagination.

Also, just a bit of a reality check/reminder for BXG - GG didn’t really do CP marketing for The Untamed, either. Of course, I think that he had strong personal reasons to be uncomfortable with marketing involving his real relationship, but I still think it’s something worth remembering in this context. It’s not like this - if true - would be a shift in policy for him.

There are also reasons to be skeptical of these rumors. After all, they’re 🍉 rumors, and 🍉exist solely to gossip. A lot of the stuff they post is entirely made up, with the aim of getting clicks and clout, or even to intentionally stoke up fan wars or harm celebrities reputations. Nothing generates more interest and traffic than controversy, and few things are more controversial than CP/romance rumors (and rumors about GG in general).

So like I said, take it all with a grain of 🧂. In fact, I strongly believe that people who take 🍉 seriously should not be reading them at all.

Of course, that’s just my 2 cents on the topic. Others might disagree, but this is how I see it.

[doctorwenqing]

okay SO obviously this is likely just a continuity error because zahn hadn’t thought this far ahead yet…

BUT let’s pretend it’s not. do we think they actually tell graduate sky-walkers their birth planets (or make them up 👀)? also lesser evil implied thalias trained on ool but doesn’t remember it, so could naparor just be the general facility for sky-walkers and they’re all told they trained there?

also side note, i’m assuming the patriarchs have at least some say in the trails. the patriarchs also all know about fading. why the hell would thooraki approve a test that involves remembering where you’ve been for someone who literally is unable to do so?

[oenimo]

Gen Ascendancy sounded so fun, and I wanted to do something for it, but writing was really hard this week so this is pretty much all I've got. I have other ideas floating around, we'll see what happens.

First off, Bomarmo and Che'ri for birdwatching (kinda). (also "Cohbo'mar'molade" isn't mine, that idea is courtesy @/dinjoyer, I just moved the apostrophe)

Che’ri sat down under the tree with a thud. She didn’t want to explain everything to these people, she didn’t want to keep track of her sleep and her food and her nightmares and her everything. She wanted to be back on the Springhawk, she wanted to be back with the crew and back with Thrawn and back flying again.

She winced. But that had gotten them in trouble, so…

She looked out over the field. Same old field, same old packbulls, same same same. She let her head thunk back against the bark instead, and closed her eyes. Maybe she could at least get a nap in before Thalias or Borika came looking for her.

Less than five minutes later, she heard footsteps, and resisted the urge to groan. Not even five minutes? Really?

“I don’t think you’re supposed to be out here alone,” a voice said. Che’ri startled. That was a man’s voice, not Borika or Thalias. She shot to attention, blinking quickly to try and adjust her eyes to see in the bright sunlight.

A sturdy man was standing a few meters away, giving her an amused look. She sighed in relief. She’d seen Borika talking to him sometimes–at least he wasn’t a complete stranger. She’d be in so much trouble if she got seen by a stranger.

But she still didn’t know who he was.

“Who are you?”

He took a couple steps closer as he answered. “Cohbo’mar’molade. Bomarmo. It’s nice to meet you.”

She watched him suspiciously as he continued to approach, stopping just a few feet away. Cohbo. Borika was a Cohbo…

“I’ve seen you talking to Borika sometimes.”

He smiled. “I should hope so, she’s my wife.”

Che’ri blinked. W– Wife? Borika was married?

“…oh.”

He laughed. “That’s alright. She doesn’t exactly share much. I’m the farmer here, that’s where your cover story comes from. Borika helps occasionally, but I’m the one maintaining the farm.”

Ohhh. She… really should’ve figured that someone had to be keeping the packbulls and all the other farm things that made them not look suspicious. Thrawn would’ve noticed.

“Hey now, don’t worry about it. You’ve got much more important things to worry about.” He pulled a face. “And speaking of, what’s got you so wound? You seemed upset.”

Her eyes narrowed. She barely even knew him, he was just some guy–well, he was Borika’s husband… and he clearly knew about the project here if he was the cover story…

“I don’t want to be here.”

He gave her a sad smile, and she scowled.

“Don’t pity me! I’m not a child, I don’t need your–”

“Hey now, calm down. I’m not pitying you, I’m sympathizing. I’ve seen so many of you girls come here, and I know how hard it can be. Not to mention, I’d like to think I know Bo pretty well, and she went through the same things you did.”

Che’ri words died in her mouth at his interruption. She sighed.

He’s not the one I’m mad at…

“Alright, what do you like to do? Obviously I can’t take you off the property, but–”

Che’ri’s eyes widened. “Wait, you aren’t going to go get Borika or Thalias to bring me back??”

He chuckled quietly. “No. You deserve some time off, everyone does. Say, the Grand Migration is supposed to pass over soon–not all of it, Ool’s not on too many of the paths, but there should be a whole lot of guese flying overhead soon. What about you and me go up to the hill, and climb the tree there to watch?”

She stared at him. He… She’d met him not 5 minutes ago, hadn’t even introduced herself, was breaking the rules, and he wanted… to take her birdwatching?

Also, birdwatching?

She made a face, and he laughed. “I know, it’s not the most exciting activity. But these aren���t normal guese, they’re rare. All sorts of fun colours, and there’s sure to be a lot of them. We’ve lived here for years now, and I’ve always loved watching them fly overhead like some kind of rippling river of an abstract painting.”

Painting.

“………okay.”

He grinned, and she couldn’t help but think how she’d barely ever seen a grin like that before. Especially not on an adult, or an adult man. Samakro certainly didn’t grin, and Thrawn barely even smiled. Samakro also didn’t smile much, but that was usually ‘cause he was grumpy.

He offered her a hand up, and tentatively, she took it.

As they started to walk off toward the hill, she fiddled with the edge of her sleeve. “I…” He glanced at her. “I’m Che’ri.”

He smiled again.

“Nice to meet you, Che’ri.”

[audiophiliacfan]

She had a face straight outta magazine God only knows but you'll never leave her Her balaclava is starting to chafe And when she gets his gun he's begging, "Babe, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay." I'll give you one more time We'll give you one more fight Said one more lie Will I know you Now if you never shoot, you'll never know And if you never eat, you'll never grow You've got a pretty kind of dirty face And when she's leaving your home she's begging you, "Stay, stay, stay, stay, stay." I'll give you one more time We'll give you one more fight Said one more line Be a riot, cause I know you Well, now that you've got your gun It's much harder now the police have come Now I'll shoot him if it's what you ask But if you just take off your mask You'd find out everything's gone wrong. Now everybody's dead And they're driving past my old school He's got his gun, he's got his suit on She says, "Babe, you look so cool, you look so cool, you look so coo-o-o-oo-oo-ool. You look so cool, you look so cool, you look so coo-o-o-oo-oo-ool."

[ragingpancake]

The Drought

A/N: Hello again! So, trying to get back into the swing of things so I searched for some fic prompts and came across this one! Prompt at the end. Feel free to drop prompts into my ask! I'd love to write more! Here’s what’s frustrating: out of the entire Atlantis expedition, approximately three quarters of them are ATA gene carriers, all thanks to Carson’s finely tuned gene therapy. Awesome. Great. They now have an entire plethora of people to pick from for ‘light bulb duty’ down in the ancient labs, but the problem is, while there are plenty of people to choose from now, Atlantis and her ancient tech just refuses to work for anyone as well as she works for John fucking Sheppard. It’s infuriating, honestly, but Rodney supposes he shouldn’t be surprised. After all, Captain Kirk has managed to practically sleep his way across the Pegasus Galaxy and if Atlantis was a person, of course she would be a she, so of course she would line up with the rest of hussies and--. Hmph. Maybe it’s John that’s the hussy. Lieutenant Colonel Hussy. Okay, that’s almost funny.

“What are we doin’ here again?” Sheppard asks in that nasally, whiny voice he has and it brings Rodney back to the present where they’re currently testing out what very well could be the galaxy’s version of a blood sugar monitor but it only wants to work with John. “I want you to put your finger under the little…. Thing there and think it on,” Rodney says, like it’s the most self-explanatory thing in the world. The duhis left unsaid but it’s there, hanging in the air. He’s also trying very hard not to think about where else he might like Sheppard to put his finger and-- “Why?” It’s infuriating, not only that John Sheppard is the only one that Atlantis responds so easily to, but that he doesn’t even seem to care. Rodney can feel the tips of his ears go red at the annoyance, but there’s that almost smug smile that touches Sheppard’s lips and God, he’s so annoying. And handsome. And smart (not as smart as Rodney of course, but then--) Right. Ancient tech. “It’s not working,” John intones and Rodney frowns down at the tablet. “Well, you aren’t trying hard enough.” “Trying hard enough at what? I’m doing exactly what you said, Rodney.” “Think harder then.” “Can’t we just try something else? Somethin’ cool?” And John honest to God whines and Christ, why is this Rodney’s life? “I just need you to think it on, Colonel,” Rodney snips mostly because they’ve been down here in this lab for the last hour or so and it’s just a couple of them and for the last fifty eight minutes and thirty two seconds, Rodney has been acutely aware of just how close Sheppard is sitting to where he’s working and he just wants to be done. John sighs and screws his eyes shut for all of three seconds before he opens one slowly, glancing down at the machine. Nothing. “I don’t wanna say I toldja so, but--.” “Not another word,” Rodney huffs and he drops the tablet onto the table, lifting a hand to massage his temples. He’s over this. He’s really, really over this and when he glances up at Sheppard to dismiss him, he’s slightly embarrassed to find the Colonel already looking at him, an unreadable look on his face. “I guess that’s it then,” he says, and he sounds annoyed. “We’re done for the day.” “Well, I guess I’ll see ya later then,” John says, standing from his stool and waving lazily at the crew before he slouches out of the lab, Rodney looking after him as he does. It takes all of two seconds before Zelenka speaks up. “Ahem,” he says, feigning clearing his throat. “Perhaps you would like it if I got you a glass of water?” “Not near the ancient tech,” Rodney answers automatically before he realizes exactly what Radek said. “What?” “Clearly, you are incredibly thirsty.” It’s not just Rodney’s ears that go pink this time, but his cheeks burn too. “I have no idea—” “Oh please,” Radek smirks. “The tech works just as well for any other gene carrier here on Atlantis, you know that. We all know you just pretend it doesn’t to give you an excuse to get Sheppard down here and ogle him for an hour.” “First of all, there is no ogling anyone here and second of all, you knowthe city responds best to him! We can’t all be natural gene carriers with the stupid hair and that stupid slouch and--.” “Relax, Rodney,” Radek says and he’s still teasing but maybe there’s something else there too. “For what it is worth, Miko, Simpson and myself believe that the Colonel is just as… parched.” “Wait, wait, wait, you’re saying—No, no. You’re wrong. It’s not possible.” Radek shrugs. “If you say so.” He’s content to let it go and go back to work, and Rodney thinks it really sucks that Zelenka would put such a thought in his head and then just goes back to pretending he hasn’t completely melted Rodney’s brain. Well, what the hell is he supposed to do about this now?

He gives it a few days, lets himself ruminate on it and he’s still pretty certain that Radek is full of it. But then they’re back to the labs, Sheppard back on lightbulb duty, except this time they’re alone and Rodney cannot… well, he can’t quite look away from the Colonel, no matter how hard he tries. Not even when the blood sugar monitor turns on at the slightest thought from Sheppard and--. “Rodney? Something on your mind, pal?” “No,” Rodney answers, perhaps just a little too quickly, eyes snapping down to the tablet in his hand as he catalogs the response the tech is giving John. “Why?” Because he can’t leave well enough alone. “IS there something on yourmind?” John’s response is just as defensive, an emphatic no, and Rodney knewthat Radek was full of shit, that little--. There’s a shrill alarm that sounds for a fraction of a second before the sprinklersthat Rodney didn’t even know existed come on, immediately soaking them both. John curses and stands up from the stool quickly and Rodney very nearly slips in an attempt to get the tablet out of the water, only managing to keep from busting his ass when John reaches for him and suddenly, they’re standing there so close and--. Thirsty. Yes, perhaps he is. “Sheppard, I--.” He doesn’t get a chance to say what he is when John leans forward and crushes their lips together and oh. Oh. This is… this is nice. He relaxes against it, perhaps leaning into it a bit more than he means to and it seems to continue for an eternity before John finally, perhaps reluctantly, pulls away. “Didn’t think you’d ever get with the program, Rodney,” John mutters and he looks a little embarrassed but a lot proud of himself and--. “Sorry it took so long to get the tech workin’,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck and Rodney realizes he should probably figure out how to turn the sprinklers off, but he’s a little dumbstruck right now, to be frank. “I was hopin’ that if we had to try again, no one else would be here so I could--. Well. So I could see if you were maybe just as dehydrated as I am.” Sonofabitch. Zelenka was right. “Absolutely bone dry.” “Well,” Sheppard says, and there’s a hint of an almost devious smile touching his lips. “Let’s see what we can do about quenching that, huh?” Definitely Lieutenant Colonel Hussy. But this time, Rodney’s more than okay with it.

Your prompt: Person B staring admiringly at Person A from across the room. A friend whispers into Person B's ear: 'Why are you so thirsty?'

[bellasauruss]

OH MY GOSH I HATE THOSE STUPID PAIR OF GUYS FROM POKÉMON. THEYRE ALL OVER MY DASH AND I DONT WANT THEM I DONT LIKE THEM I DONT KNOW THEIR NAMES I HATE THEM

ITS ONE WITH A WHITE HAT AND COAT AND THEN ONE WITH A BLACK HAT AND COAT AND THEY’RE TWINS AND PEOPLE KEEP SHIPPING THEM OR SOMETHING, AND THEY’RE ALL WUIRKY OOL AHHH AND APPARENTLY THEY’RE TUMBLR SEXYMEN AND IM NOT SURPRISED WITH

HOW

MUCH I SEE THEM

ON MY

DASH

[infamousbicat]

babes this is how bakuten would react if u came out as trans while they're peeimg

futaba: faints literally faints how did u get inside the bathroom he checked the door like 204839489384 times. he then tells u he goes by he they. he never talks to you again out of fear and embarrassment and shame. you have done something awful why did you do that

tsukidate: you wouldn't catch him in the bathroom. the boy is like god no one knows if he has bodily functions. if he is actually peeing you wouldn't see him he has like spideysenses to sense ppl 10km away. he knows you are trans already and already know what you were about to say. very very supportive, he is trans too. god is trans.

watari: HE IS A NINJA. when i tell u he will JUMP and KICK YOUR ASS he FUCKING WILL. he will apologise forever then like OVER AND OVER FOREVER and pay loyalty for you. he runs saying GO LESBIANS GO every time you tell him to do it. he is The Trans Ally™. overtime turns out he is nonbinary masc-aligned and comes out the same way you did. you are a legend.

onagawa: he is not surprised you got into the bathroom and he's actually pretty used to his teammates interrupting his holy time in the restroom so he is just chill. "that's so cool...." he would maybe do some jokes abt ur mom being gay and tell you he doesn't get gender. very supportive and wants to learn. you would have this whole conversation sat in the toilet.

masamune: SO LOUDDDDD HE'S JUST SO HAPPY!!!!!! HE WANTS TO SUPPORT YOU IN EVERYTHING!!!! FORGETS HE WAS PEEING IMMEDIATELY!!! (that's not cool) YOU REGRET USING THIS TIME TO TELL HIM. he's that meme the "you re a tra nsthen gder ...that ts so C ool" or smth like that idk. he asks u for ur pronouns and will destroy anyone that misgenders you. this guy is crazy i love him

misato: unfazed. he looks at u and kicks u out of the bathroom with a single wipe hair. he then asks "does that mean you're working for amazon now?" and you're left completely amazed. he has outshine you. he is a girlboss. u have no words other than praises for this boy.

[calpalirwin]

Painted Pink Room

A/N: @talkfastromance4​ mentioned that a part 2 to this would be cool and I had some ideas for it, so here we are.

Word Count: 2.3k

And away, and away we go!

__

It took a month for McKenna to finally sleep through the night in her own room, not that Calum and Luke minded in the slightest. Nap time was fine, but there was something about sleeping in the dark alone, even with the aid of a nightlight, that sent McKenna scurrying into bed with her dads every night.

So when Calum rolled over one morning and found empty space before his hand smacked into Luke’s arm, he shot awake. “Where’s Mack?!”

Luke mumbled angrily in his sleep. “Shh, Cal, I’m sleeping…”

“And Mack is missing!”

That got Luke’s attention, blue eyes snapping opening. He sat up straight, throwing back the covers. “What do you mean she’s missing?!”

“Do you see her in here?! Did she sleep in her own bed all night?”

“She better have otherwise she might be actually missing…”

Both men jumped out of bed and raced down the hall to McKenna’s room. And found her peacefully sleeping in her bed, Duke and Petunia curled up on the floor next to her. “How is she still asleep?” Luke asked in a whisper. 

Calum shrugged, checking the time on his phone before groaning. “Probably cuz it’s five in the fuckin’ morning…”

“You woke me up at five in the morning because Mack was asleep in her own bed?!”

“I panicked, okay?! She’s never spent the whole night in her room before, what was I supposed to think?!”

“Sssshhhhh!” Luke shushed, gesturing for them to leave the room. “You wanna wake her up, or go back to bed? I, for one, vote for going back to bed.”

Calum yawned, agreeing with Luke that more sleep was needed. “Hey, Lu?”

“Yeah?”

“She did it. Whole night in her own room,” he smiled in pride.

“Yeah,” Luke matched Calum’s grin for a second. “But I’m kinda gonna miss her elbow in my ribs.”

“Yeah. Me too…”

And as much as they missed the little body squeezed in next to them, they did enjoy the extra uninterrupted hours of sleep. They also enjoyed McKenna tiptoeing into the room with both dogs at her side to wake them up, asking for breakfast.

~~~

“Alright, little miss, how do we want our hair today?” Calum asked her after Luke helped her get dressed. “Up or down?” He swung her up and sat her down on the bathroom counter, spinning her around so they both faced the mirror.

“Up!”

“Ponytail, braid, or bun?”

“Tail!”

“Great choice!” Calum grinned before setting to work, taking in pride at how well he’d learn to do her hair over the past handful of weeks. “Did Daddy tell you what we’re doing today?”

“‘Ool?” she asked, cocking her head to the side and turning a little.

“Gotta sit still for me, darling.” He gently set her straight again. “But, yeah, you’re right. We’re gonna go swimming today. Do you know why?”

She thought about it for a second, her little face scrunching in the mirror.

“You know you scrunch your face just like Daddy when you’re thinking,” Calum noted.

“Like Daddy?” she asked, scrunching her face more.

“Just like him.”

“Eyes like Papa!”

“Yep, eyes just like mine,” Calum smiled at her. “Can you remember why Daddy said we’re swimming today?”

“No.”

“It’s because we’re meeting some friends today!”

“Fwends?!”

“Yeah! Uncle Ashton and Uncle Mikey are gonna come over, so you can meet them and your cousin Wyatt.”

“Wots of fwends!”

“A little bit, yeah. But they’re excited to meet you.”

“Me?!”

“Yes, you! So, what do you say? Wanna go swimming with your new friends today?”

“Yes!”

“That’s my girl! C’mon, let’s go find Daddy.”

~~~

There was a small downside to having told McKenna that friends would be coming over to swim. It was the fact that she had very little concept of how time worked. So any sound of a car driving past was met with an excited gasp of “Fwends?!” and Calum and Luke having to shake their heads and go, “No, Mack. It’s not time yet. We have to have lunch and a nap first.” A cycle of conversation that repeated on an endless loop even after lunch had been eaten and the nap had been taken.

“Seriously, where the fuck are they?” Luke asked in a low, aggravated tone.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Calum replied in a similar tone, huffing and pulling out his phone. Then he sighed in relief, flashing the message at Luke. “On their way. 5 minutes ago.”

“Which means they should pulling up any-”

“Fwends?!” McKenna interrupted as a car turned into the drive.

“That better fuckin’ be them,” Luke grumbled, marching for the door and pulling it open. “Hey, ya made it!” he hollered.

Ashton laughed as he slung a bag over his shoulder. “Sorry mate. Someone took forever to go down for a nap.”

“S’alright. Still got most of the afternoon. How long can these two swim for anyhow?” Calum pointed out, stepping onto the porch next to Luke with McKenna at his side. “Look, Mack, our friends are here! You wanna say hi?”

McKenna peered around Calum’s leg over at Ashton and Michael, her eyes wide. “Big wike you…” she whispered.

Calum laughed. “Yeah, Uncle Ashton and Uncle Mikey are big like me and Daddy. But look! Wyatt’s little like you.”

“Hey, McKenna,” Michael said, crouching down in front of her. “I’m Mike, and this is Wyatt. Wyatt, do you wanna say hi to McKenna?”

“Hi,” the little boy said, before glancing up at Michael, and whispering “Swimming now, Daddy?”

“You don’t wanna say hi to your uncles first?” Michael whispered back.

“Oh…” Wyatt turned his attention to Calum and Luke. “Hi.”

“Hey, bud,” Luke chuckled. “Mack, they said hi. Do you want to say hi back?”

“Hi…” she offered up shyly.

“How ‘bout we hit the pool, yeah?” Ashton asked, trying to steamroll through the shy hellos.

“Great idea!” Luke agreed. “C’mon, Mack, let’s go get your swimsuit on.”

“Otay!”

From there, conversation flowed much more fluidly as the four men leaned against the pool walls, chatting about work ideas while McKenna and Wyatt splashed about on the steps, engaging in their own imaginary play and toddler babble. “So how are you guys adjusting and everything?” Ashton asked once they’d worn down work ideas. 

“Fine I guess,” Luke said with a shrug.

“Yeah. She actually slept the whole night in her own bed last night,” Calum added. 

“Shit, that’s a huge step. Have you reached the tantrum stage yet?” Michael asked.

Calum and Luke looked at each other and shook their heads. “No,” answered Calum. “She gets whiny and pouts about things sometimes. But no major meltdowns so far.”

“But don’t jinx us,” Luke added with a laugh.

Just then there was a particularly loud splash and all of them turned as Wyatt came up sputtering, before letting out a scared wail. “Whoa!” Ashton rushed, stepping over and helping Wyatt back up on the step. “Deep breath. You’re okay. What happened? Did you slip?”

“She! Pushed! Me!” he continued to cry, pointing at McKenna who scowled at him.

Calum grabbed McKenna, pulling her away from Wyatt before setting her on the ledge in front of him. “Did you push Wyatt?”

She nodded.

Calum sighed. “Why?”

“He mean.”

“He was mean to you?”

“Uh-huh.” And to demonstrate, she dipped her hand in the water and splashed Calum in the face.

“Hey!” Calum said sternly, grabbing her hand. “We don’t splash people in the face. That’s not nice.”

“He did!”

“Oh…” Calum said in understanding. “He splashed you in the face so you pushed him?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Okay, but we don’t push people, darling. That’s not nice either. If you have a problem, you come get me or Daddy, okay?”

“Otay…”

“Okay. So what do we say when we’re mean to someone and hurt them?”

“Sowwy…”

“Don’t say sorry to me. Say sorry to Wyatt.”

“Sowwy ‘Ayatt…”

“It’s otay,” he sniffed.

Ashton and Calum set both kids back to play before making their way back over to Michael and Luke. “So what happened?”

“I think Wyatt accidentally splashed her in the face and she got pissed, so she shoved him,” Calum recapped.

“So we’re raising a vigilante? Cool,” Luke laughed. “Good to know.”

“Shut up, it’s not funny,” Calum scolded.

“Eh,” Michael shrugged. “In all fairness there’s a 50/50 shot that Wyatt splashed her on purpose.”

“That’s true,” Ashton nodded. “Tried to break the habit about a billion times, but hey, maybe he just needed to get shoved to make the lesson stick ya know? They’re kids. No one got hurt. That’s what matt- Wyatt James, don’t splash her.”

Wyatt’s hands were poised in the water, ready to splash at McKenna again. He giggled, not thinking Ashton was serious and gave McKenna a face full of water. On instinct, she shoved him off the step again.

“Dude, what did I just tell you?” Ashton groaned as he went over to get Wyatt.

“Alright, we’re done,” Calum said, following Ashton to collect McKenna. “That’s enough swimming for the day.”

“Good call,” Ashton nodded.

“Papa, no!” the toddlers shrieked as they got taken out of the water.

“Yeah, I bet you’ll listen next time then, huh?” Ashton asked.

“Papa!” Wyatt continued to sob as Ashton wrapped him in a towel and sat with him in a chair. “I… wanna… swim!”

“Me too!” McKenna hiccuped.

“Maybe later. Right now we’re taking a break,” Calum told them both.

“Daddy!” McKenna cried.

“Oh, you’re mad at me so you want Daddy? Alright, see how far you get,” Calum chuckled, as Luke and Michael made their way over to the rest of the group.

“What’s up, sweetheart?” Luke asked, taking McKenna from Calum.

“Swim, pwease?”

“Nope. We’re all taking a break.”

She let out a loud cry, burying her head into Luke, who reached over to shove Michael. “I told you not to jinx us, ya cunt.”

Michael laughed, “Wait til she has a tantrum over something completely ridiculous.”

The men continued to talk, while whispering small assurances to the toddlers that “It’s alright. You’re fine,” until the hiccuped sobs turned to soft sniffles.

“You understand why Papa had you take a break?” Michael spoke softly to Wyatt. “We don’t splash people in the face.”

“Accident…”

“The first time, maybe it was. But the second time we all watched you. Papa even told you not to, and you did it anyway. That’s why McKenna pushed you, and that’s why we all had to take a break.”

“Oh… Sowwy…”

“Not to me. To McKenna for splashing her, and to Papa for not listening.”

“Sowwy Papa.”

“Thank you, bud,” Ashton smiled at his son. “I love you.”

“Wuv you. Sowwy, ‘Kenna.”

“It otay.”

“What else do you say, sweetheart?” Luke guided. “Papa already warned you about pushing people the first time, that’s why you had to take a break.”

“Sowwy ‘Ayatt.”

“It’s otay.”

“Daddy?” McKenna asked, tracing her fingers over Luke’s painted nails.

“What’s up, sweetheart?”

“Dis pwetty.”

Luke waggled his fingers. “They are pretty, huh?”

“Mhm. Mine wike dat?”

“Yeah, we can get your nails painted.”

“Me too?” Wyatt asked, perking up.

“If you want, bud, sure,” Michael nodded, before directing his attention to Calum and Luke, “You guys got nail polish? We can do it now.”

“Yeah, we got a whole bunch,” Calum answered. “I’ll go get the stuff. Lu, you wanna get her changed out of her swimsuit?”

“On it.”

Fifteen minutes later found the group hunkered down in the living room, nail polish bottles scattered on the coffee table while little fingernails were swiped with pretty colors. “Tada!” Luke cheered as he capped a bottle of bright red polish. “Look, your nails are just like mine, now.”

“Papa too!”

“Oh, I dunno. Does Papa wanna match with us?” Luke asked Calum, waving the bottle back and forth.

Calum looked at his nails, and shrugged. “Eh, fuck it. Go ahead.”

“You want the red, or do you want your usual black?”

“Red’s fine.”

“Alright, Mack, you wanna help me paint Papa’s fingers?”

“Yeah!”

“Careful not to smudge hers,” Calum warned lightly as he settled back, giving Luke one of his hands.

Carefully, Luke held his own fingers over McKenna’s on the brush to guide her as she painted Calum’s nails for him.

On the other side of the coffee table, Ashton was blowing on Wyatt’s fingers to help the glittery purple nail polish dry. “You know, Daddy used to have hair kinda like this.”

Wyatt looked over at Michael and laughed. “Daddy hair purple!”

“My hair was lilac, not purple,” Michael corrected as he swiped black nail polish across his own nails.

“Not the lilac. The…” Ashton snapped his fingers as he thought. “Fuck what was it? It was like purple, blue, and black all at once.”

“Galaxy. Yeah, that one was fun.”

“Probably my favorite hair color of yours honestly,” Calum told him.

“Yeah, you ever gonna dye your hair again, Mike?” Luke asked.

“Maybe when you finally decide to dye yours.”

“I did dye my hair!”

“You’re blonde, and you dyed your hair more blonde. Doesn’t count.”

“How does that not count?!”

“Cuz you gotta dye it another color.”

“It was another color!”

“No, it was a different shade. Not the same thing.”

Luke made sputtering sounds of disbelief. “Cal! C’mon, tell Mike it’s the same thing.”

Calum snorted. “I’m with Mike on this one. Dying your hair a different shade, isn’t the same as dying it a different color.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“Not if that side’s wrong, I’m not.”

“You’re an ass for 1. And for 2, your nails are done.”

“Very pwetty,” McKenna beamed, proud of her handiwork.

“Thank you very much, darling,” Calum said, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. “Now we all match. Me, you, and Daddy.”

__

Tag List

@aquarius-hood1996 @creator-appreciator @philthepegacorn @myfavfanficsever @cxddlyash @youngblood199456 @stormrider505 @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @hoodhoran @metalandboybands @maybeememez @major5sosstan @1weekago​ @kaitieskidmore1​

[malewifehenrycooldown]

Introductory Pinned Post

Main Romantic F/Os | Carrd | F/O Tag Directory | BFY | Self Inserts and OCs

Pastel Hell Dividers | Dessert Divider | Flower Divider

Hello there, I’m Shallow (or Blaze) and I’m just your average Self Shipper who just happens to run this silly little blog.

I’ve been self shipping for as long as I can remember (but at the time it never really had a name), and throughout the years my love for fictional characters have changed and shifted over the years, but it wasn’t until I found L//ight Y//agami from Death Note that I fell head over heels for a fictional character. I’ve only known them for 2-3 years but they’re the love of my life (amongst other characters!) and I consider them to be my partner/spouse in a way. My other main romantic f/os are W//inter S//chnee from RW//BY and H//enry C//ool//down from the N//o M//ore H//eroes series!

I may have only officially joined this community back in January 2020, but I have never felt so at home on this chaotic website! I’m more than happy to meet new people and talk about ships, ocs, self inserts and other random things in general!

Notes on Tagging & Blacklisting:

The tag ‘Shallow Rambles’ is my thoughts, ideas and ramblings.

The tag ‘Shallow Vents’ is what it exactly says on the tin. Feel free to blacklist it if you don’t like seeing vent posts on your dash.

When I tag something as ‘Do Not Reblog’ please respect that! The only exception to the rule is when I reblog my own post.

Sometimes I may reblog crowdfunding/donation posts. I have the most followers here and therefore a wider audience. I do reblog this stuff to @shallowspocketdimension​​ just in case. You are not obligated to reblog these posts. For blacklisting purposes just block the: ‘donations’ tag.

Sometimes I may reblog things that are covering, current events, and usually it’s tagged as ‘current events’ or ‘world events’.

I may also reblog bright and flashing gifs due to the content I consume having the unfortunate circumstances of having flashing lights and effects, but I usually give them the following tags (that you can blacklist): flashing warning, flash warning, gif warning, flashing gif warning, & fast gif warning.

Due to some of the material my f/os come from, I will usually tag bloody/gorey stuff as: gore tw, tw gore and blood tw, tw blood

I always add ‘ask to tag’ so that if you need something tagged I’m more than happy to tag it. Sending me an ask about it would be your best bet. Seriously don’t be scared in asking me to tag things, your wellbeing is just as important than mine!

I know a lot of people aren’t comfortable with sharing, so if you need anything tagged, please tell me to tag it correctly, or else if OP doesn’t want blacklisted tags - I’ll delete it/or reblog it to @shallowspocketdimension​.

Posts not related to self ship are either ‘This is an Important PSA’ or ‘Not Self Ship’

I use the Shinigami Eyes Extension (I recommend you use it too!). However not everyone’s username is highlighted in green or red, so if OP is particularly nasty, please don’t be afraid to tell me so I can remove it.

Aside from Self Shipping and creating Self Inserts, my interests are [bold text is main fixation at the moment]:

JJBA {Haven’t seen/read Part 5 and onwards!}

Pokémon

Grasshopper Manufacture / Suda 51 Related Content

Cinema (International Cinema is a special interest)

Death Note

RWBY

Overwatch

Resident Evil

Wrestling

Marvel Cinematic Universe / Marvel Netflix

Stimblogs (my side stimblog is @shallowstims​)

Cold War History

Electronic Music

I hope that we can get along and spread the love within this community!

[rainbowsky]

GGDD Topics Part 1

Timeline of a Relationship

Is the CP real?

What is keeping GG and DD from appearing together publicly?

Why don’t they ‘break the CP’?

DD Sexuality

GG Sexuality

GG Superstion

Likelihood of GG and DD marrying women

Likelihood of them being accidentally outed by fans

GG 2/27 Statement

GG and Character Bleed

Why didn’t DD make a public statement about 2/27?

BXG, Fan Service and Supporting GGDD

Heteronormativity and burden of proof

About candid footage and photos of GGDD

GGDD and Straight Romantic Roles

GGDD Sharing A Stage in the Future

What BXG Might Mean to GGDD

Why would a secret couple take risks to show things about their relationship?

Going through it together

GGDD supposedly denying being a couple

Difficulty of such famous people having a relationship

Is the risk of being seen together backstage worth it?

Are they still together?

GG not hugging DD like he does everyone else

Did GG design a panther logo for DD?

Why did GG and DD ignore each other on Weibo night?

Has GG’s popularity recovered from the scandal last year?

GGDD, the bone necklace and other jewelry

Have they met each other’s parents?

Why did DD delete his sneakers and ice cream post?

"I heard on Twitter that BXG don't really care about GG"

Whose finger is it?

Whose jawline is it?

DD being hit as a child

What is BXG day, why do turtles celebrate 9/5?

A closer look at DD's custom microphone

Could BJYX be a cover for another relationship?

Why don’t GGDD deny being in a relationship?

Will GG and DD ever have children?

Why didn't they post about x or y on their social media?

Fans worrying about GG too much, GGDD and downtime

Do GG and DD live together?

What was the order of events on DD’s birthday in 2018?

DD being into skateboarding and motorcycles must mean he’s straight, right?

What's the latest proof?

How much can we read into what they say in interviews about their relationship preferences or ideal type?

Are the supertopics going to get shut down, given the climate in China right now?

Why are some clips censored or edited?

Are DD’s terrible cooking skills just an act?

Do you think their personas might be fake?

Do you think they’re married?

Have GGDD ever shown support for LGBTQ?

Is it true that International fans only get a tiny fraction of the information that's available about GG and DD?

DD saying he likes older people

If China isn’t allowing ‘feminine’ men in the media, why do GG and DD still endorse women’s brands?

Why are Thursdays so important to the fandom?

GG’s fake ear piercing CPN

The infamous OOL polaroids

Relationship denials and the GGDD supertopics

What's my CPN around the Japan trip?

Should GG and DD leave China?

GG and DD and long distance relationships

The ring GG wears(?)

GG’s 2019 guest appearance on DDU

Will they ever come out publicly about their relationship?

Queer men being chosen for nationalistic projects?

Fan meetings for other projects besides the Untamed?

When did they follow each other on Weibo (with full list of who DD follows)?

Do GG or DD smoke?

Do you think GG and DD ever check out fan works or comments?

GG and DD dressing more and more alike

GG and DD’s custom microphones

GG no longer taking romance projects?

GG refusing to do CP marketing

GG and DD and rumors of jealousy

What is the meaning behind Blue sky, white clouds?

The 520 covid heart candy

GG’s 'ideal life’ painting

GGDD dragon boat dinner ‘date’

Rumors another star had a bone necklace

SDOC3 and the mystery man in the background

GG and DD checking out Yang Yang at Tencent All Star Awards

Rumors of GG and DD having a shiba inu dog

DD’s White Peony look

GG and DD’s contracts

DD’s masculine styling these days

GGDD and Spongebob

How was Suo’er chosen as the name of GGDD’s fictional child?

If the CP didn’t exist could GG and DD be seen together?

The ‘related search’ candy

Did Li Weijia act scandalized over a gesture GG made to DD?

Claims that GG is single

Did DD kiss his hand and pat GG’s back during a fanmeet?

DD and Coco Crush

GG’s choices as an actor

DD’s association with coriander

Do solos ever accept GG and DD are together?

Do GG and DD know about BXG clownery?

How do people know about where they are?

DD 8 anniversary candy

Does GG have a sugar daddy?

The heart mole

Are there any verified candies in the fandom?

GG and DD being shipped with other people

GG cooking for DD CPN

Was GG jealous of Yubin?

Domestic GGDD and balance

Which of them is more sensitive?

How did GG get started in the industry?

The possibility of GG and DD interacting at awards shows soon

Is the 300G 12 page transcript real?

Is DD’s name mentioned in GG’s Qingdao snacks video?

How fluent are they in English?

Tracer85 (DD’s motorcycle racing)

DD ‘applying 3 times’ for The Untamed

What are your thoughts on LRLG?

Likelihood of GG and/or DD doing another BL series in the future

DD's 👀 level of understanding of Chongqing/Sichuan dialect

About skate fashion and brands DD has worn

Cheng Yi post about GGDD recording Wuji

Has GG ever worn earrings?

The ethics of people who know GG and DD sharing candy

Tencent 2020 rehearsal time slot candy

DDU brothers being the biggest Yizhan supporters

GG Handwriting CPN

GG designing album covers for DD

Does DD ever talk about his acting process?

Is it bad to be called an idol?

GG and DD and astrology

On the songwriting process

The Devil’s Timeline

Are GG and DD representatives of the queer rights movement in China?

GG and DD and The Little Prince

About fansites

Are GGDD’s intentional candies/kadian meant for each other, or for turtles?

·­­­­∞·­­

[accio-victuuri]

I’m genuinely afraid that they’re gonna release something GG related when I’m asleep. The last time this happened was with the new OOL trailer and him posting. Just waiting for the day I’ll wake up and the fandom will be in 🔥🔥🔥.

[mysteries-x-mistakes]

I saw a post about the concept of kishōtenketsu and it’s got me thinking... 

The past few years have been really hard for me. On top of the whole global pandemic and quarantine and isolation thing, I’m disabled; my energy reserves are very very low nearly all the time. Everything feels like too much, there’s always something going wrong. And so I’ve been finding myself drawn to stories without as much conflict. Even stories with happy endings can feel exhausting to watch if the character suffers over and over and over before they can get there. And yet? that’s what we’re told makes a good story- conflict, making the characters suffer. Is there another way? There has to be.

And that’s not to say that I don’t ever want any conflict, that conflict and suffering are bad, I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth for it right now and that’s ok.

I end up watching a lot of japanese shows, anime and I’ve been wondering why I can’t seem to find the same kinds of stories in american media. And I think it comes down to the story structure philosophy- the difference between the three act structure and the four act kishoutenketsu structure. American media doesn’t really have “slice of life” shows, shows that are cozy, that feel like wrapping up in a warm blanket with a cup of hot cocoa, not in the same way. We have “sitcoms” which are comedy or full of unnecessary drama. They’re not fun for me to watch. Also, western media has been phasing out “monster of the week” type stories, where things wrap up neatly at the end of the episode. Now there’s always an overarching plot where things get worse and worse and worse for the character all season until the finale.

And I think that’s part of what I really like about Jane Austen. I saw a review of her books somewhere that was like “it’s just a bunch of people going to each other’s houses”. And like... so what? Why can’t we have cozy little stories where the characters do mundane things? Why can’t the characters sit and drink tea and talk to each other in the comfort of their own homes? Why can’t we have the romantic tension of choosing who to dance with at the ball? Why must we have stories about heroes and violence, about killing things, about dominating things, about using technology to wage war?

I read Ursula K Le Guinn’s “The Carrier Bag Theory of Fiction” and I have Feelings(tm) about it. I’d definitely recommend going to read it bc it’s not long but I’ll put a few of my favorite quotes here:

Fifteen hours a week for subsistence leaves a lot of time for other things. So much time that maybe the restless ones who didn't have a baby around to enliven their life, or skill in making or cooking or singing, or very interesting thoughts to think, decided to slope off and hunt mammoths. The skillful hunters then would come staggering back with a load of meat, a lot of ivory, and a story. It wasn't the meat that made the difference. It was the story. It is hard to tell a really gripping tale of how I wrested a wild-oat seed from its husk, and then another, and then another, and then another, and then another, and then I scratched my gnat bites, and Ool said something funny, and we went to the creek and got a drink and watched newts for a while, and then I found another patch of oats.... No, it does not compare, it cannot compete with how I thrust my spear deep into the titanic hairy flank white Oob, impaled on one huge sweeping tusk, writhed screaming, and blood spouted everywhere in crimson torrents, and Boob was crushed to jelly when the mammoth fell on him as I shot my unerring arrow straight through eye to brain. That story not only has Action, it has a Hero. Heroes are powerful. Before you know it, the men and women in the wild-oat patch and their kids and the skills of the makers and the thoughts of the thoughtful and the songs of the singers are all part of it, have all been pressed into service in the tale of the Hero. But it isn't their story. It's his.

.

I would go so far as to say that the natural, proper, fitting shape of the novel might be that of a sack, a bag. A book holds words. Words hold things. They bear meanings. A novel is a medicine bundle, holding things in a particular, powerful relation to one another and to us. One relationship among elements in the novel may well be that of conflict, but the reduction of narrative to conflict is absurd. (I have read a how-to-write manual that said, "A story should be seen as a battle," and went on about strategies, attacks, victory, etc.) Conflict, competition, stress, struggle, etc., within the narrative conceived as carrier bag/belly/box/house/medicine bundle, may be seen as necessary elements of a whole which itself cannot be characterized either as conflict or as harmony, since its purpose is neither resolution nor stasis but continuing process. Finally, it's clear that the Hero does not look well in this bag. He needs a stage or a pedestal or a pinnacle. You put him in a bag and he looks like a rabbit, like a potato. That is why I like novels: instead of heroes they have people in them

.

Science fiction properly conceived, like all serious fiction, however funny, is a way of trying to describe what is in fact going on, what people actually do and feel, how people relate to everything else in this vast sack, this belly of the universe, this womb of things to be and tomb of things that were, this unending story. In it, as in all fiction, there is room enough to keep even Man where he belongs, in his place in the scheme of things; there is time enough to gather plenty of wild oats and sow them too, and sing to little Oom, and listen to Ool's joke, and watch newts, and still the story isn't over. Still there are seeds to be gathered, and room in the bag of stars.

I feel like, while you might easily find this in fan fiction, it’s hard to find this in novels or in tv shows. I want to figure out how to write stories like that, what makes them yet compelling. I want to know how to write those quiet moments with the characters in everyday life circumstances. Every guide to writing I can find is all about how to make things happen to your characters, how to come up with conflict, how to find the main conflict that will drive the story, how to put obstacles in the way. Because a story without conflict is “boring”. 

Maybe I’m just rambling, I feel like I could have worded this better, but I want how-to-write articles with a more diverse approach to storytelling :S

[yahargul]

I saw something on twt that make me 🤔 if the evidences we have of ggdd was with gg/girl or dd/girl how ppl and their sol0s would react 👀

i don’t know too much about xz ships other than his boy band time & currently his ool co star but i do know a lot of people ship yb with c/heng x/iao and they use p much the same kind of evidence as any other fandom trying to see if a couple is dating: matching clothes, matching locations in pictures, close ups of interactions...yb’s company also had to deny serious dating rumors surrounding him and emi/ly q/i based off seemingly similar shoe pics on insta and some blurry ass photoshopped pictures (people were so convinced they were dating the company had to deny this three times, and there’s still no solid evidence these two have ever even been in the same room).

this is why it’s so funny to me when people go on twt and act like anything yizhan fans are doing is so extreme. this is all pretty standard c ent fandom stuff 

however i do notice that fans are way more relaxed about evidence when it’s a het couple because a) they have no understanding lgbt issues in chn and make extreme assumptions and b) are invested in the boyfriend fantasy and imagining these dudes with a girl means they can live through her, so they’re fine with seeing that stuff (it’s the homophobia~~~)

[crash-bump-bring-the-whump]

@wildfaewhump and @friendlylocalwhumper were having an AMAZING talk this morning about Vic’s Talvos and Iesin and I had to get this written as quickly as my bastard hands could type so here we are

TWs: Gore, blood, body horror (FORGOT THIS SORRY), vivisection, medical abuse (though Daniel’s license expired a few centuries ago? It’s still a medical-y setting), captivity, conditioning, knives, suffocation, death, torture,  this is HEAVY

Searing ice slipped down William’s chest and stomach, the scalpel’s blade too sharp for it to register as a slicing sort of pain. He wasn’t strapped down by the unwavering leather restraints, not this far into his time with Daniel, but his fingers still twitched against the chilly surgical table. He still winced as cool, filtered air rushed into him, wafted in by massive wings that fluttered in excitement. 

“Sweet William, this might sound grim, but you have such a wonderful internal layout.” Daniel cooed, setting the scalpel aside. “Such pristine organs, none of the defects aged humans typically have. Oh, how I wish I could show you their brilliant colors. Is that a side effect of reforming?” William could almost hear how Daniel tilted his head at the end of his question.

William nodded, drawing in a breath and shivering as the incision opened up more. “Yeah, it’s--I make a, a who-ole new body when I die.” He was just glad he couldn’t remember what colors looked like anymore. Daniel didn’t need to destroy more nice things for him.

“Your lungs, for example, they’re just so delightfully pink!” Daniel’s cool, slender fingers started to peel back the skin at his chest. “So light and wonderful, they’re really in amazing shape. It’s such a shame you can’t be an organ donor.”

Daniel laughed, and William laughed with him. “Yea-ah, it’d...it’d be co-ool...”

“I don’t think you’re familiar with the feel of your lungs, are you sweet William?” Daniel asked, voice softening. “You know your stomach, and both intestines, really. You know yourself so well, but you could still be better.”

One finger traced over the sliver of lung in the gap between two ribs and William shuddered. It felt wrong, a horrible warmth drifting over something that should’ve never been touched, but when Daniel walked away again it almost felt worse. “What do you want me to, to do...?”

The scream of the bone saw was William’s answer, and the next few minutes melted away into the terrible rattle of the blade against his rib cage and the smell of searing marrow and blood. William closed his eyes, turning his head away from it all, head swimming even through the mundane feeling the routine had taken on.

He reached into his own chest once the bone saw turned off, rewarded with the pleased hum at his cooperation. With a trembling grip he pulled the front of his ribcage out, whimpering as the harsh edges scraped against the inner wall of his chest.

“Now, sweet William, lift up your lungs.”

William swallowed hard, setting his ribs down onto his stomach, before reaching back into the terrible warmth of his chest cavity. Carefully, gingerly, William took his own lungs into his hands, scooping them up. Dizziness washed over him when his mind made the obvious-yet-sickening connection that they expanded when he inhaled and contracted when he exhaled. This was wrong, this was terribly wrong, even more wrong than feeling how his large intestine writhed in his fingers like a panicked snake whenever Daniel vivisected him.

The spongy tissue felt so much more fragile. It didn’t escape his notice that while lifted up like this, with the heel of his palms digging into them, breathing felt so different. It felt like breathing wasn’t guaranteed anymore. Exposed like this, his life could be taken away at any time.

Which felt silly, really. That could happen anyway.

Distantly, beyond the muted horror of his thoughts, Daniel spoke again. “Now, sweet William, please crush them. I’d like to see how they hold up against pressure.”

William did without hesitation.