#and they’re fun in that way where they can make those simple things extremely interesting

[barfsimpsons]

Not me going “im never attracted to anyone” lol this friend group has me in a boring mfer choke hold actually and not boring by behavior but boring by interest and appearance. And ive converted. Time to bleach my eyebrows or something

[gabessquishytum]

hey so do you remember the hysterical literature video series that was all over tumblr back in the day. the ones where they had a porn star sitting at a table, reading from a book, while sitting on a vibrator? iirc they're on youtube if you don't know what i'm talking about (it was stoya's that was especially popular 'round these parts and if you're not familiar DEFINITELY check it out)

anyway. porn star!hob and author!dream. hob does a hysterical literature video and picks dream's book to read from. for extra orgasms fun, trans hob. he explains the premise at the beginning of the video and mentions that he's going to be reading a full chapter and he is going to finish reading it no matter how many times he comes -- and as soon as he starts, dream immediately realizes that he's picked the longest chapter in the book.

(by halfway through the recording, when hob's gasping for breath and letting out little whines between sentences, dream's already wondering if he could commission hob to read the entire book. dream wants to listen to nothing else for the rest of his life. and if he wants to share, he's pretty sure hob could record the most incredible audiobook)

-🐈‍⬛

First of all. Sjsjsjsjwjsjww. I’m kissing you. Second of all. It’s been maybe 10 years since I watched the Stoya video from that series?? And let me tell you, it STILL hits different. I can only recommend that everyone head over the YouTube, stat. Anyway.

Hob is a pretty popular porn star, he’s got a decent following. One of the things that people enjoy is his voice, so he thinks this could be fun thing to do! Dream is one over those fans, he’s followed Hob’s career with interest from afar and he’s pleasantly surprised to see this new content pop up.

Dream, meanwhile, is an author. He writes a range of stuff but he’s famous for his erotic novels. They’re extremely well reviewed by literary critics and he’s considered to be a bit of a genius. Hob is a huge fan, has all his books, so it’s probably no surprise that he chooses to read from Dream’s latest novel.

The video is a good 45 minutes long. Hob sits there, wearing a simple white t-shirt. He’s only visible above the waist, but he promises that it’s going to be fun anyway. He’s going to finish the chapter, even if he passes out half way through.

(Dream nearly has a heart attack, hearing his own written words coming out of Hob’s mouth. He has to take a moment before he can continue.)

The first five minutes goes easily enough. Hob smiles occasionally, momentarily bites his lip or flexes his fingers. He reads without any mistakes. But slowly, slowly he starts to unravel. He’s squirming, clenching his fists. He trips over a word or two. Then there are little sounds, half moans and whimpers. He tumbles through a sentence, unable to make his tongue work, so he repeats himself. He’s starting to gasp for breath. He cums on the vibrator for the first time after a few pages, and the floodgates are open. He can’t sit still. Every word is dripping with arousal. He’s rocking back and forth and grasping the book like a life line. But he doesn’t rush towards the end of the chapter, oh no. Dream’s work deserves better. He tearfully whimpers through the second and third orgasms but he annunciates each word perfectly. He’s practically sweated through his thin t-shirt so his gorgeous chest is more or less on display. But he doesn’t let go of the book to touch his nipples or adjust the vibrator. He’s busy enjoying what Dream has written, making sure that he conveys the emotional strength of the writing.

He cums five times, each one louder and more messy than the last, before he finally finishes the chapter and slumps over on the table, with a weak grin towards the camera. He tells everyone to go buy Dream’s books. And promises to record more, if people like it.

And Dream pulls his hand out of his sticky boxers, wipes it clean, and shakily fires off an email to the agency Hob is represented by. He’ll get Hob to record his entire collected works, if he can. He’s already wondering what Hob will sound like at the end of reading his 600 page magnum opus…

[energy-healing-with-jen]

How To Take Care of Yourself During Tough Times

“Have respect for yourself, and patience and compassion. With these, you can handle anything.” ~Jack Kornfield

I won't go through the list's section on "yoga, getting enough sleep, and chocolate" because you can obtain those kinds of self-care advice elsewhere. They’re super important, and the fact is, I already knew about them, but on their own they weren’t cutting it at that time in my life.

Here are some lessons I learned that I hope we can all benefit from when we’re going through a tough time.

Stay out of other people’s business.

It is very simple to become absorbed in the circumstances and feelings of people we love.

We often experience our partner's dissatisfaction and disappointment when they are struggling at work. When a loved one is divorcing, we could become absorbed in their tales of unfair treatment by their spouse or feelings of mistreatment.

Even if engaging in these activities is widespread and seen as a necessary component of friendship, now is not the time. These actions may be exhausting for us personally. When we listen to others' emotions, we may experience similar feelings in ourselves, particularly if we can identify with the circumstances they are discussing.

Simply said, this is not the time to expend energy on reacting to the feelings of others. We need to harmonize with our own.

Accept ourselves.

Yes, we already know this one. In reality, though, how many of us are doing it?

The truth is, we may accept ourselves exactly as we are, even if we also have room to want for better, more compassionate things in life, like a better education, a more prosperous business, or a love relationship.

Accepting where we are at doesn’t mean we don’t have goals, or can’t visualize a different, presumably even more fulfilling life. It means that we recognize there are times in our life where we won’t be amazing (see above). That there are times when we’ll do the minimum to get by, because that’s all the energy we have.

That's just the way things are going to be sometimes.

It's important to accept where we are at all times, but especially during periods of extreme stress. No beating ourselves up allowed.

Recognize what helps us feel good when we’re stressed.

It seems obvious once more. But, I thought that getting beverages or coffee with a close buddy would make me feel better during these events.

Normally, I really enjoy this and find it relaxing.

Remarkably, I discovered that I was not looking forward to these gatherings. Not that those around me weren't understanding. It was only that I needed time, just me and myself, to absorb and become better. There was really nothing that the best friend in the world could give me that I could give myself at that moment.

We are all unique. Encircling oneself with friends will bring immense comfort to some of us, while devoting ourselves entirely to our work or interests will help others. There’s no right answer here. It’s a matter of paying attention to our own needs and what works for us, not what general opinion says that we need.

This is also not a time to cave to social or family obligations if we don’t find them to be nourishing. If the weekly family dinner is fun and supportive, go for it. If it seems more like a "dredging up the past" exercise, stop doing it until you feel more resilient.

When we are under stress, it is important to prioritize self-compassion in the way that feels most calming and satisfying to us. To be present in our lives, and for our loved ones, and yes, for ourselves, this self-care is imperative.

[wickedsrest-rp]

NAME: Troll

RARITY: ★★★☆☆

THREAT LEVEL: ★★★★☆ | Not prone to aggression without reason (bone marrow soup is a reason). Extremely difficult to kill due to resilience, but other weaknesses can be exploited. 

HABITAT: They typically live in underground caves, but some can be found under manmade structures such as bridges. Seven Peaks have many trolls living in the area’s winding mountain passes and deep cave systems.

DESCRIPTION: Trolls are tough-skinned fae that range in size from house cats to imposing school bus sized behemoths. They never stop growing as they age, and they can live to be thousands of years old; for this reason trolls in their home range have been known to be mistaken for the sides of mountains and even accidentally walked on by travelers. The Wicked’s Rest population is much younger and typically trolls in North America are around the size of a large bodybuilding man, though far surpassing them in strength. They have a rock-like texture as most of their skin is protected by a barrier of minerals. Trolls are capable of human speech, albeit not very good at it. 

Where their homes are getting encroached on by humans, their diet has shifted and they’ve adapted to using human bone marrow as a delicacy in their meals. Some have claimed ownership over a specific bridge or area, only letting people through if they’re willing to give something in exchange. While many fae are happiest getting more abstract gifts, like names or hopes, trolls usually want more simple things. Trolls are typically pleasant enough to other fae, not usually causing harm to them.

ABILITIES: Though slow and not that bright, trolls have the strength of ten men and can pack a wallop when angered. An additional danger is that they tend to live in small groups, so if you see one, there are likely a few more nearby (many will send a “scout”). They also like throwing rocks, and pretty much anything else they can get their hands on. Trolls have incredibly tough skin, making attacking them with a sharp or blunt weapon on most of their body near useless. They can see pretty well underground but their eyesight is generally only fair. These fae are short-tempered and only become stronger when enraged – quite literally, they pack a bigger punch if angry.

WEAKNESS: Trolls may be reasoned or bartered with, and sometimes they may not be all that interested in a human to begin with (usually when they already have enough to eat…). Some may prefer to play games, and they’ll honor their word for safe passage if bested. If a fight is inevitable, their stomach is less protected than the rest of their body and disemboweling them with a sharp object is probably the way to go. Don’t miss. You’ll only make them angrier.

OTHER VARIANTS:

Tommyknocker (AKA Bucca): Derived from trolls who started living deeper and deeper within caves, tommyknockers have grown lithe, flexible, and even uglier. They lost their tough skin and replaced it with hairless wrinkles. They’re common to come across if someone is unfortunate enough to get lost in mines and cave systems, as they live the majority of their lives underground thankfully unseen. They might be heard, though: some tommyknockers will make knocking sounds from within caves, which may draw people toward the entrance where they can cause a cave in. They’re almost always in large groups, using their voices and knocking sounds to travel and bounce through the caves to trick and disorient people. Tommyknockers enjoy tormenting or occasionally assisting miners and those who find themselves in caves, with some being more helpful than others – especially if you have something to offer them. Tommyknockers eat underground mushrooms and are vegetarian. They do all of this for fun.

Buggane: Rare and far smarter than the trolls they’re related to, bugganes mostly just want to be left alone underground. Bugganes resemble giant moles with several tusks, standing at about 8 feet tall. They’re as smart as humans, capable of speaking human tongues, and because of their intelligence they resent their troll ancestry (they’ll happily remind humans of their common ancestry with apes if this is mentioned). Bugganes are almost always deep underground, but some might be found in more open areas in Seven Peaks, even in the woods at high altitudes. They prefer to avoid humans, but will assist those who are lost so they can get back to their solitude. Bugganes can be problematic when they make homes in tunnels or underground passages that lie under populated areas; they dig spacious burrows which cause structural damage to anything above. While they can be physically imposing and powerful, they’d rather not engage. They have poor eyesight and a weakness to iron.

[rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me]

I hope yours having a great day!! Could you maybe write some headcanons about the gang dating someone with an RBF?

A/N: As someone with an RBF, I shouldn’t have struggled with this as much as I did. Still, I really hope you enjoy this Anon <3

DARRY CURTIS

He’s got an RBF too, you’re not alone in that with this relationship

Darry is somehow really attuned to how you’re actually feeling?

Like, you don’t even have to defend your RBF, he can tell if your happy or truly annoyed or just not paying attention

Never makes fun of you for having such a murderous resting expression but the boys will, just a forewarning

SODAPOP CURTIS

Was only afraid to walk up to you the first time he met you because of your expression!

Sodapop will admit that he was scared but he’s gotten used to it

Besides, he loves seeing how quickly your face lights up and changes completely when you see something you’re interested in

Still thinks you’re the prettiest thing no matter what your facial expression is, he wouldn’t change the way you are for anything in the world

PONYBOY CURTIS

Ponyboy plays the game in his head where he’ll try to guess your actual emotion

Sometimes he’s right, sometimes you catch him before he can subtly give you his guess

You know what he’s doing but you’ll never tell him that, you find it funny when he acts like you don’t know what’s going on

He canonically draws Dally right? Well he draws you too, he draws you when you’re scowling, full on RBF, and then he really likes drawing you when your expression falls into a giggling, smiley Y/N

DALLAS WINSTON

The intimidation when you guys are together, I swear to everything

Your RBF with Dally’s ice cold expression? Can you even imagine how scary that would be?

But the intimidation falls away significantly when your expression changes, your attention shifting over to something else

Dally thinks it’s hot, loves the way you look when you’re not even aware of what your face is doing

JOHNNY CADE

Johnny’s scared puppy-dog look next to your “I might murder you later” expression is certainly a sight to see

People who don’t know you are often surprised to see that quiet, soft-spoken Johnny ended up with a partner who just looks so mean

Don’t pay any attention to those people though, Johnny knows your expression doesn’t usually mean anything, it just sort of happens and he honestly finds it kind of cute to watch the shift between murderous intent and happy-go-lucky

He is one of ones who will make fun of it though, his teasing remarks are murmured softly but they’re still there and he’ll have the wide grin on his face when you look over at him

STEVE RANDLE

Thinks you’re super cute even with that look on your face, Soda hears about how much he loves it on the daily

What’s Steve’s favorite way to change your expression?

Why, giving you a big ol’ kiss, of course! What else would he do to make you smile?

Knows you’re not mad or upset usually and isn’t going to pester you about whether or not you’re really mad!

TWO-BIT MATHEWS

“Are you mad?”

“I’m not mad, Two.”

“.....are you sure you ain’t mad?”

“If you ask one more time, I will be.”

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up; he knows you’re not mad but he can’t resist the temptation of asking you

TIM SHEPARD

The gang is afraid of you. Simple as that.

Tim loves having you by his side, the feeling of power he gets from that is extreme

But you’re not always bitchy! It’s just your resting expression!

Tim thinks of it as a personal victory whenever your face shifts when you see him, your pissy expression turns into one of excitement to see him

CURLY SHEPARD

This boy will just poke you in the face, no warning whatsoever

You’ll be focused on something else, an irritated look on your face despite being perfectly at peace with whatever you’re doing and Curly will just jab his finger into your cheek

He claims he’s “trying to fix your face” despite really loving the mean look you have and doing it to simply be annoying

Curly also mimics your expression shockingly well, to the point where Ponyboy has commented on how spooky it looks when the two of you are standing next to each other

[theworldbrewery]

ever done a mini-campaign?

When most of us think of a ttrpg campaign, it’s fair to say that long-form campaigns are the prototype. Playing with the same group of players in the same world, following multiple plotlines for a very. long. time. The iconic examples of The Adventure Zone Balance, Critical Role, and Rusty Quill Gaming span out-of-game years in the making. And plenty of folks hold those up as the ideal way to play the game.

Have you ever considered...not doing that?

A short-form ttrpg game might be for you and your friends if your schedules are tight; playing a one-off, single-session game may work better when you never know when you’ll have the chance to play again. Some ttrpgs are also simply designed for shorter gameplay, with natural breaks built in where you can end a campaign.

But at times, you still want the character arc, the delight of building character relationships, and the sense of growing tension across multiple “episodes.” Or maybe you prefer the D&D or Pathfinder system and don’t want to learn to play games that have shorter timelines built in.

Enter: the mini-campaign. Spanning anywhere from five to twenty sessions, it can last as long as you and your GM want. Examples include Dimension 20′s games, as well as the Exandria Unlimited series by Critical Role.

To run a mini-campaign, all the GM needs is a few simple elements.

A contained setting.

A problem endemic to the setting.

An antagonist involved in making the problem worse or better.

A defined end-point that will occur in the near-ish future.

For the first, just come up with a specific setting as normal, then have a pretext to keep the party from leaving for too long.

A simple setting could be a single town, sizable enough that the PCs don’t know literally everyone, and the pretext could be the PCs lack the resources to pay for travel. Or they have homes and family ties in town that they don’t want to leave behind.

More complicated settings could be a snowy mountain range where the PCs are stranded after a zeppelin crash, a tropical island resort where they are on vacation, or a polar research station. The world is truly your oyster here, and the more wildly specific your setting, the more wild the storyline can become.

For the second element, a problem endemic to the setting simply means that this place has a problem that is unique in some way. If I leave the tropical resort, the problem likely will not follow me. For example, the tropical island could have issues with their power grid that lead to frequent blackouts, ruining countless vacations. It’s important to understand that the problem doesn’t have to be this major, systemic issue like speciesism or climate change.

The third element, an antagonist involved somehow, means that either the antagonist wants to deliberately make the problem worse for their own gain, or who thinks they’re solving the problem but it has extremely bad consequences in another way.

In a polar research station setting where the problem is that they’ve lost contact with the outside world, one researcher might be trying to kill their coworkers, having accidentally made contact with a chthonic being from the Fantasy Arctic. The researcher thinks they’re saving the world by preventing the group from drilling any deeper and freeing the being--but it’s only chthonic madness encouraging the violence. In reality, the survivors are the world’s best chance at keeping the entity from rising.

In our tropical resort setting, perhaps a scheming tourist is trying to take advantage of the outages to revenge himself upon his annoying in-laws, frame the PCs for the murders, and sue the resort for emotional damages.

The fourth element makes this into a mini-campaign. The story has a win condition and a lose condition, and the campaign ends with one of those two options. In the tropical resort, catching the murderous tourist and clearing the PCs’ names is the end of the story--or failing to do so, and being arrested or murdered themselves. In the polar research station, either the PCs stop the rise of a chthonic entity or they don’t. Win and Lose.

Essentially, the whole campaign has a ticking clock attached to it. Waiting too long to act means the bomb goes off. Failing means the bomb goes off. And you can’t drag the story out for too long, because one way or another, that bomb has to be dealt with.

Final Notes:

A mini-campaign is best run at lower levels--anywhere from 3rd to 9th, in my opinion. Any higher and the PCs have too much power. Any lower and they’re functional disasters. I encourage a loose level-up structure based on milestone leveling rather than XP, since mini-campaigns don’t have the structure for several high-XP boss battles.

You can add additional plot threads and antagonists as much as you like, but keep in mind they will make your campaign longer accordingly.

Let the campaign be silly, or break out of the usual genre of swords-and-sorcery. Having a secondary genre, like a murder mystery or cosmic horror, can really make a mini-campaign stand out to your players.

You must run a session zero. This is nonnegotiable. The reason? You will need to establish the relationships between PCs before starting, or they will spend too long in the “getting to know you” phase. It’s also just more fun for your players to have established grudges, inside jokes, and so on. Additionally, since you will not be running a sandbox campaign here, you will need to be sure your PCs are buying in to the setting’s premise.

What I mean by that is, if the party is at a tropical resort, they most likely are there because they like tropical vacations (or got dragged along by someone who does). A PC who isn’t built for a world where they take tropical vacations, or who has no vested interest in enjoying their vacation, is unlikely to care about someone else ruining their vacation. Some things need to be established pre-game to make sure everyone is on the same page. I recommend you also discuss the genre: if it’s going to be a murder mystery, the players shouldn’t act like it’s a slash-and-burn total war environment, or what’s the entire point? Good players will respect the genre they’re told they’re playing in, and avoid being too genre-savvy or too genre-stupid.

[taibobo]

let’s talk about character fashion: gigi thompson (inside job)

hi i’m a neurodivergent person with a big interest in fashion, and i’ve been thinking a lot about characters with fashion senses that i really enjoy. something i really liked about inside job is that characters had multiple outfits and they were so indicative of their personal styles!! one of my favorite characters with a distinct fashion sense in the show is gigi, and it’s a shame she doesn’t get a lot of character screen time because i think her job and personality makes for some really interesting stuff in the future!

anyway with all of that i wanted to talk about gigi’s outfits in the show and what i think they’re influenced by & similar pieces - i’ll try to source things as much as i can!

i wanted to discuss her main outfit first, because i feel like it’s a really good indicator of her general style in the show. her outfits have this sort of glamorous but still business chic flair- you can tell that her job has allowed her to understand fashion trends and get in the good graces of designers and high fashion elites. 

her penchant for large padded shoulder silhouettes and the usage of gold and leopard print, from the beginning, has reminded me from the jump of a lot of 90s ‘business chic’ outfits in media. the best example i can think of is fran drescher in the nanny as fran fine, and if you look at this instagram you can really see those specific traits shine!

here are some of my favorite looks by fran that i think help explore gigi’s businesswear 

for example, this coat by claude montana (and the way fran tends to style coats as dresses in general) feels very gigi-- since gigi wears what seems to be a skirt-suit that’s one piece, i don’t think its too much of a stretch to assume she may be wearing a longer coat in a similar fashion :) 

similarly, fran loves a good animal print, and i think leopard tends to show up in her closet the most! the best examples i think are this cynthia rowley 1995 coat (left) and plaid-slash-leopard print blazer and skirt combination by gianfranco ferre! 

lastly, i wanted to show some more recent examples of the fashion trends gigi utilizes in her business outfit-- shoulderpads and bold shoulders were a huuuge thing in fw20! 

(from left to right: BODGAR, lecourt mansion, NADYA DZYAK)

okay onto her next outfit ^_^ i’ll do this in chronological order, so the next outfit is when she attends the gala!

okay let’s discuss first of all how gorgeous this dress is in terms of silhouette!! these fun shoulders... this gorgeous plunging neckline that leads your eye right down to the fun cutouts.... the gold bracelets at the end matching her staple gold hoops!! isnt it so fun :) this dress is a lot more indicative of modern (like in the past 2~5 years) runway trends, so i’m not surprised they used a dress in this nature at an expensive gala event.

to show that, here’s a few modern examples of similar cuts or dresses with similar traits ^^

(from left to right: alberta ferretti, the blonds, luar)

(from left to right: julien macdonald, balmain)

i’m a big fan of these sort of “x type cuts” where they have a plunging v neckline and side cutouts, it looks so glamorous and swanky and perfectly on trend just like gigi >:). she looks so beautiful in light simple colors like that off-white too

next episode-- the brettfast club! she has two outfits in the show, but the silhouettes are extremely similar, so i’ll just condense them both here

return of the big shoulderpads! these ones are much more explicitly padded as it is the 80s, and i like that she pushes her shoulders up to be that sort of half/three-quarters look: not only because she’s a working woman, but it kind of comes off like she’s wearing an oversized men’s suit which i think is so fun. 

i also like the addition of these new accessories for her in the 80′s-- these chunky earrings and and bracelets and the thick belts and AHHH i love her!

some other interesting things i like in these outfits

the tapered but cropped pants

her oversized jackets having different colors on the collar/lapels...? you know what i mean. i forget some words

her sort of satin/silky deep cut tops? very popular in the 80s and so flattering for the rest of her outfits

(from left to right, top to bottom: balmain, andrew GN, saint laurent, saint laurent again, proenza, osman)

okay lastly her outfit from the wedding! i dont have a lot of pics of it on me right now but that’s fine, it’s a pretty simple dress after all, but its VERY cute and effective 

i love the recurring theme of using the gold hoops and bracelets since i think it’s always so fitting for her outfits - this halter neck is so pretty too esp for a wedding!!! i’m also a big fan that gigi mostly likes warmer colors but isn’t afraid of leaving her comfort zone (i.e her turqouise suit in the brettfast club) and that all of her silhouettes are a little vintage inspired!

(left to right: BOGDAR, ROTATE, christopher john rogers)

i don’t have a lot left to say about her outfits that i haven’t said before, but i hope that this is like at least kinda fun to read about or look at 

[echo-of-sounds]

smut alphabet - fatgum

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

After sex, Taishiro enjoys a nice, warm bubble bath to unwind and clean up. As you relax, preferably with you resting against his stomach, he’ll run soap all over your sweaty skin then gently massage your lower back. When you’re bent over the bed, your back takes a lot of the stress with him pounding you from behind.

Following your bath, he’ll take as much skin-to-skin contact as he can get. It doesn’t matter if you’re lounging on the couch or laying in bed. He just wants to enjoy you. Feeling your body safe in his arms puts him at ease. And he’s super warm, so he’s the best to cuddle with during chilly nights.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Oh, he adores your tummy. All of it. Any surface, from your collar bones to your hips, he’ll kiss and lick and tickle and worship. Anything you consider a flaw or ugly, he commends. It’s not an exaggeration. You’re an icon. He’d kneel before you, honoring each stretch mark, revering every scar, bumps, or ‘defect,’ whispering into your skin as he kisses the whole of your stomach. If you’re ticklish, be prepared for him to blow raspberries.

On himself, he’s fond of his hands and smile. His smile attracts people. It’s big, friendly, and bright. His hands, though often used for maiming, are delicate and graceful whenever they glide over you. They’re strong, broad, heavy, and thick. Those apply to his fingers as well.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

It’s flavorful, to say the least: rather bitter with salty undertones. Most of the time, he uses condoms as he enjoys cumming inside you, but he also doesn’t want to risk pregnancy when you’re not planning for it. 

It’s thick, and he loves watching it ooze out of you. Once his orgasm builds, he withdraws so only his head remains inside and pumps himself, cumming near your entrance. He’ll stroke your lower tummy, whispering how beautiful you are, singing praise after praise when you push his cum out. He’ll probably lick it up too.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He doesn’t really have a dirty secret. He’s quite open about what he likes and wants, and what he’s done. Regardless, he fantasizes watching you play and suck on a lollipop, occasionally using it to pleasure yourself, then lick your wetness off of it. But he knows that isn’t healthy. Food, as good as it is to eat, shouldn’t be going inside.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

While Tai may not be a Casanova, he knows how to pleasure someone. Oral is where his confidence lies. He can easily move your body around, sucking soft skin, dragging his tongue over wherever you need. He also has enough experience to know how much he needs to prepare you for penetrative sex. Making sure you’re stretched, lubricated, and ready is one thing he does without fail.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He isn’t picky. If he’s having fun and you’re having fun, it’s a splendid position. In doggy-style positions, he fancies the view of your hips wriggling and ass bouncing. And in missionary/right angle positions, your moaning face is a delight to see. Your legs will be held against his stomach as he’s thrusting into you, watching your breasts and mouth. He’ll occasionally open them to fondle more of you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Despite his normal, feel-good, cheerful mood, he becomes a bit serious once in the moment. That doesn’t mean he won’t laugh, joke, or smile. Because he absolutely does! But his general feel is more acute, focusing on your body, praising your mouth and skill to hell and back.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

There’s a tuft of hair down there with a little trail leading up to his belly button. It’s a sandy blond that darkens to dirty blond around his base. He doesn’t shave: it makes him feel weirdly naked. He may trim after a while, but he typically keeps it at a manageable semi-long.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

You won’t have to ask for flowers, a candlelit dinner, and soft music. One random day, you’ll open the door to all of that and more, and your smiling boyfriend holding a present. It’s a cute, new teddy he wants you to wear. After dinner, he whisks you away to the bedroom, continuing the romance for the rest of the night.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

It happens more than Tai cares to admit. A Hero’s job isn’t easy. Masturbating works excess stress off. And he gets more adrenaline boners than others. He doesn’t know why. He’s been that way since he was a teenager. In the wake of a fight, he hurries home, jumps in the shower, and relieves himself. It’s over pretty quickly. However, if you’re home, he’s very willing to receive a blowjob. You know… if you want.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He’s very vocal. Not in the constantly moaning way. He just talks a lot, worshiping and praising your body and everything you do. It’s natural to him. He only wants you to know how good you are at sucking him and how beautiful you look gasping at the sheets and how stunning your slightly teary eyes are each and every thrust.

Going off that, it may not be a kink per se, but it arouses him seeing your eyes water. It’s not sadistic. He’d hate to bring you genuine pain. It’s about seeing you so horny, captivated, passionate, and immersed in all the pleasure to the point you can’t contain it, so it comes out as tears, floods his heart in love and warmth. He’ll do anything to see you like that every time. 

Some softer kinks are anal and toys. He enjoys exploring your body and finding fresh ways to have fun. Anal isn’t one he partakes in a lot because of his size. It’d take much more preparation, and he worries about hurting you. 

Being a Daddy is another thing he enjoys. It’s not his primary interest, and he can certainly live without it. He just likes being a protector, a comforter, keeping you safe from the world as you cuddle on the couch. He’s open to having rules, punishments, and willing to explore the overall lifestyle.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Not only is Taishiro incredibly tall, but he’s also strong and heavy. He’s broken more than his fair share of furniture. And yes, some of that was because he was screwing his partner over a table, putting his entire weight behind each thrust. Considering this issue, he tends to stick to the bed, couch, and sometimes the bathtub (really just any place that he won’t break).

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

When you’re licking a popsicle, slurping the drippings, he’s interested. When you’re sucking on a lollipop, twirling your tongue around it, he’s very interested. He simply approves of you using your mouth in domestic-yet-arousing ways.

Overall, it doesn’t take much to work him up. You can just ask for sex, and he’s down. Lingerie is cute, especially if it’s a simple matching bra and panty set with some frills. It’s basic yet endearing. It also lets him appreciate your tummy. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s open to trying most things once. He wants to experience something before deciding his stance on it. 

Sex in public is the main one. He’s a Pro Hero. Public indecency would ruin his career. And he’s a huge guy. He can’t exactly hide. So even if he wanted to, it’d be incredibly hard to fondle each other while in public.

He won’t ever put your or his health in danger. The extreme side of BDSM (blood, CBT [not the therapy], and whips) and any sort of bodily fluid/waste are off-limits. Those hold no interest to him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Tai eats… everything. You’re no exception to his hunger. He’s a firm believer in going down on his partner. His tongue, like his fingers, is broad, thick, and heavy. Because of his size, he’s become quite proficient at giving oral to prepare others.

He starts with feather-light kisses along your thighs, getting you excited before even touching you. When you’re shaking to his liking, he removes your underwear to continue his kisses, gradually increasing in pressure. His first licks are around where you want them. Only when you’re moaning from that does he finally lick along you, pushing his tongue inside, sucking your clit in between his lips. He likes you orgasming at least once before he fingers you.

To treat him, oral cock warming is the best option. While he’s watching Tv, just plop down between his legs and keep him in your mouth, sipping on all his precum. When it’s time to move, lick under his foreskin. It causes the loudest groans. 

Unlike some guys, he doesn’t like it when you gag on him. It doesn’t make him feel big. He knows he’s big. Because of that and his size, he never grabs your head. He won’t force you any lower than you choose. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He fluctuates between slow-and-hard and fast-and-flattering. Sometimes he prefers measured thrusts, taking his time pulling out, watching you stretch around him, then intensely sinking inside so hard your whole body shakes. Other times he enjoys holding your hips at the perfect angle, thrusting quick, complimenting how well you’re taking him.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies don’t bother him. They happen. And he certainly won’t turn one down if you happen to get all riled up in the kitchen. Just make sure you’re someplace he won’t break.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Again, Tai will try most things at least once. And he’s game for any experimentation. If you have a new trick or toy, he’s open. But risks? He isn’t as interested. He’s a Hero. He doesn’t want to jeopardize his career for an alleyway blowjob.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

One round is his normal. He isn’t some sex god. Since he focuses so much on preparing and stretching you in the beginning, one session usually lasts a good forty to fifty minutes.

If he’s worked up over something, or it’s just a highly horny day, he can go for two rounds. That easily lasts for over an hour. You’ll definitely need some rest after that. Take three ibuprofen and relax in the bath together.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t own any despite enjoying them. He hasn’t been in a relationship long enough to buy sex toys together. If you have any, he’d love to incorporate them. If you want any, he’ll look for some online and surprise you with the toy one day. 

He’s interested in a few BDSM toys to use on you, mostly nipple clamps, furry wrist cuffs, and a paddle with little heart cut-outs so they get imprinted on your ass. Purple is his preferred color, particularly lilac or lavender. No matter your size, skin color, and scars, purple looks downright gorgeous on you. Almost too much so because it gets him riled up and thrusting gasping-bed-creaking-and-toe-curling deep.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Tai will tease you to tears. He just loves the sounds you make when you’re desperate: whining for his fingers, fussing for his mouth, begging for him to finally touch you, and, most importantly, how you cry for his dick, how you whimper when he first fills you, then your gasps from his thrusts. He can’t get enough, and he’ll do damn near anything to hear more.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

His noises are moderate in volume and perfectly handsome. His groans are deep and exciting whenever you suck him just right. Although, if talking counts, he’s on the higher end of the spectrum because his mouth just keeps on moving. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

When people are only attracted to him when he’s skinny, he feels weird. He’s not sure if it’s insecurity, uncertainty, or something else. He hardly recognizes himself when he looks in the mirror and sees a six-pack. That’s not his body. His quirk relies on fat. His body’s supposed to be fat. Those stares and giggles he receives because of his abs don’t flatter him like it may other people. He wants his partner to love his body for everything it is.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Just like the rest of him, Taishiro is big. And thick. And heavy. The corona of glans is the widest part. So much so, his foreskin has trouble retracting past it. Don’t worry. It’s not phimosis, and it doesn’t pain him in any way. 

When he’s entering, his head pops inside suddenly, stretching you for his near 8-inch length. You’ll undeniably feel its weight inside you. The middle of his shaft is quite wide as well, covered in an array of veins. 

Hence why foreplay is always a must. No exception. He needs to stretch you plenty and apply enough lube because it’s a lot. If it’s too painful, or you just don’t want him to push all the way inside, he understands. Halfway is more than enough for him to feel pleasure.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It fluctuates. Most of it depends on his quirk and work. If his energy/fat is depleted, so is his sex drive. His body mainly focuses on restocking what it’s lost instead of unnecessary matters. During his good weeks, it’s fairly high, especially at the beginning of your sexual relationship. It wants to get as much of you as possible in the shortest amount of time.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

While Tai has built up plenty of endurance from his career, something about sex tires him out. It could be the drained hormones and bliss-filled afterglow. It could be the gentle and loving feeling that floods him after watching you orgasm. It could be seeing you so spent and weak that he wants to do nothing but hold and protect you. It’s probably all three. After cleaning up, he loves laying down, cuddling naked while you both drift off to sleep.

[snowrobin-133]

hey! saw that your requests are open, so might as well give it a shot! may i request for a gn!mc!reader who is just like kazuha? like as poetic, calm, gentle etc. just like him? with the dorm leaders please! (twisted wonderland & you can subtract a few people if you want!

Ah yes Kazuha my favorite character besides Albedo 😌 

this was very fun to write, I hope you enjoy it!

Riddle Rosehearts

You're calm and gentle demeanor would be a rather good contrast for his short tempered self

He enjoys hearing your poems a lot! He thinks it's extremely creative and that you're great at making poems!

The soothe and melodic tone of your voice is something he dearly loves

The inner tease that would come out often flustered the poor boi, and he's unable to respond, resulting in even more teasing from you and the others

He may try to enforce the rules of the queen of hearts to save himself but he wouldn't do too much of a harsh punishment lol

He also find your great sense of smell to be extremely useful whenever a naive first year accidently lets out the animals

You can always find them almost immediately and soothe them if any were hysterical

Leona Kingscholar

Let's be honest

He probably finds you really annoying

You're so persistent and you constantly recited poems and haikus of the area around you

He can never hide from you either, your great sense of smell and attunement with nature always revealing where he is.

Of course, you eventually grow on him as your soft and melodic voice, or even playing a tune with a random leaf, helps him sleep even better than he normally does

And your mischievous nature will sometimes help him escape from the clutches of teachers and Ruggie alike

He's grateful for that but he'll never admit it out loud for you to hear

So even if he is all talk about you being a menace and that he doesn’t like you, things just wouldn't be the same if you were gone

Azul Ashengrotto

He finds your attunement with nature quite interesting and may even attempt to get that skill with a contract

Thankfully, your quick wits help you out of that quite fast

And as the year progresses, he makes many more attempts, always being outwitted by you

It eventually becomes somewhat of a competition but is able to learn much more about you throughout it

Such as your mischievous nature, outwitting him or Jade and Floyd with outlandish or stupid tactics

Sometimes your teasing nature will fluster him similarly to Riddle, except he's able to regain his composure quickly and try to get back at you

Not very successful though

He finds your ability to make music with a simple leaf extremely interesting and will inquire if you could teach him that

He likely won't do very well though and will get irritated

Although your melodic laughter and smile will quickly lift his spirits

Kalim Al-Asim 

He's amazed by you!

More or less like a puppy dog jumping around you in excitement

He'll be asking you about everything and may even ask you to teach him some things such as playing a tune on a leaf

I think he would be pretty good at it since he's in the light music club, although probably not as good as you

He would take it with a large grin though

Kalim would like to know everything about your attunement to nature: what you hear, what you see, what the wind tells you, and more

You can tell him all your poems and he will think every single one is great despite not knowing what half of them mean most of the time lol

He may try to do it himself, but the results won't be as good lol

Jamil may need to step in to stop him from giving himself a headache

Vil Schoenheit 

Honestly he'd probably only be interested in your skills for doing films and such

Of course he'd find them interesting, but I doubt he would care that much

But let's expand on the film point

He may cast you as just a side character that plays a couple tunes on a stage for the audience

Or maybe the wise mentor trope, using your attunement to nature as the main idea for your character

Regardless, the possibilities are endless in his eyes, and he'll seek them all out

Idia Shroud 

He would be very curious about your skills, maybe even comparing you to some anime protagonists

He would probably be really freaked out by your skills, not in the bad way though, just in a really shocked way since he rarely goes outside and interact with nature

So for you to speak about nature and such, he'd just be having one of those moments like in the thinking intensely memes

While he doesn't understand much of what you're speaking about, he'll still enjoy your voice, finding it soothing when he's anxious

He probably really hates your mischievous and teasing side as he doesn't know how to handle it and is probably really easy to fluster lol

Ortho also really likes you, finding all your skills super cool! He will want to learn more despite being able to do similar things through his tech gear and features!

Malleus Draconia

He very much enjoys you and finds that you and Lillia are very similar

Calm, gentle, a bit of an old soul, speaking poetically, and more

Even your mischievous sides are similar

So unlike some of the previous dorm leaders, he'll know how to handle you thanks to Lillia lol

Regardless, he is very impressed with you! It's very rare to meet a human like you with how connected to nature you are

Being able to see hidden paths left by creatures and others, hearing things from far away, your strong sense of smell, and more

Your poems are also very good and he enjoys listening to them while he's on his nightly walk

May give you a couple gifts as thank you for your poems and such :)

It's been a while since I last wrote these bois so sorry if they're OOC!

[cornfarm]

waves against the rocks

saiki kusuo x reader

word count: 2.0k

synopsis: you show saiki your powers. he’s unbearibly jealous, yet for the first time, he feels seen and understood by another person.

cws: mention of the reader having a bad family

genre: melancholic fluff

reader is gender neutral!

===================================================

notes:

greetings... i promise i’m working on cease and desist part 2 but i keep starting one shots;; I ALSO DECIDED TO CHANGE MY TEXT FORMAT... i yoinked all the capital letters away... it feels a bit more liberating

whenever i make my crazy op self insert oc, i always think about how i can make them a foil/double to the characters i like. for example my gintama s/i is also a traumatized war veteran. i thought like... wouldn’t it be fun to write the reader character as a direct foil AND double to saiki? they have everything he doesn’t, but he has a lot that they dont and it’s like,., mutual jealousy.

i also wanted to write saiki properly empathizing with someone. aiura and toritsuka are so fun because they both have different moral compasses with their powers and how they’d like to use them. however despite the fact theyre all psychics, saiki can’t really empathize with either of them.

i wanted to have saiki be excited about something, and feel truly seen. empathy is a very powerful thing.

i hope the “ability” i chose isn’t too cringe;;;

i can’t help but feel like i write saiki ooc so feedback would be super appreciated!

===================================================

perception. the way people are seen by others, the mental images and sour thoughts rooted in nothing but misconception. the falsafied persona of greatness, beauty, and kindness. perception.

you kept saiki afterschool. tugging at his sleeve, you quietly asked “i need to show you something, stay here for a few extra minutes?”. he refused you at first, but you stayed firm, “i need you to stay.” fierce. he decided to stay.

but you stood before saiki, right? were you there? he suddenly felt a bit weary, head pounding at the thought of you. your name, voice, scent, failing to find matches in his library of records. when he thought of you, his brain flickered through the faces and names of everyone else he knew.

you were a gap, a void, a sudden unconjurable memory. it was horrifying. but he quickly accepted it. the body circling behind of him was none of his concern, because there was nobody there. he supposes he should go home now. why was he standing alone in the classroom anyways?

firm hands land on his shoulders, warm, present. he remembers why he’s here.

“it’s not that i’m invisible, it’s just that your brain can’t recognize me, and refuses to acknolwedge me as a thing that exists.”

like a wave crashing against a rocky shore, the void is filled. your voice, your scent, your name, all slotted back into place in his mental library. he recognizes the hands on your shoulders as yours. 

a hand snakes around and pushes up his glasses, covering his eyes.

“it’s not about visibility, it’s perception. you are unable to percieve me as a living thing, or of anything of importance. that’s why you can’t read my thoughts, and that’s why you’re so quick to give up trying to recall me.”

he’s practically trembling- you have one power. it was simple, but it managed to find a loophole around practically all of his.

“that’s terrifying.”

“right?”

you take your hands away and step in front of him. he adjusts his glasses properly.

“were you born with it?”

you nod, “it caused me trouble when i was a kid. i almost got left at an airport,” you chuckle.

“does anyone else know?”

“i’ve tried to tell my parents but they don’t believe me. they called me a liar and delusional, so i decided to stop trying with them. nobody else knows, i’ve never told any of my past friends either. when i found out about your powers, i thought maybe someone would finally understand. that’s the only reason i wanted to tell you.”

your lip quivers, “you believe me, right?”

truth be told, saiki’s stunned. he wasn’t expecting someone like you to have such an abrasive ability. despite how reclusive and fittingly unnoticeable it is, it was certainly powerful.

he’s jealous. you were able to freely aquire something he wanted- privacy, but he does believe you, afterall he just watched you waltz around him, outside of his keen field of view. 

“yeah, i do.”

you smile, bright and wide- you’re nearly trembling. was being believed that big of a deal to you?

you take a step forward and embrace him, wrapping your arms around his torso as your head presses against his chest. he goes a bit stiff, and glances at the door. “hey, someone might walk in-”

“it’s fine.” you look up at him, meeting his eyes, and oh. your eyes are glimmering, shining greater than he’s ever seen them, “they won’t.”

burying your face back into him, he tenataively wraps his arms around your back. you continue, voice muffled, “’m sorry, you’re the first person who’s accepted me. i’m happy.”

the emotional explanation for your actions ease him a bit, “it’s fine.” he states back.

you finally pull away, and for a brief moment as you lose connection, you flicker out of his view, but you come back in again, placing your hand on his.

“actually, i can touch you while using my power without you being affected by them, but i’m manually using it on you right now.”

“if you touch someone while making sure they still can’t see you, what does that make them experience?” his voice is clear, a bit fierce in tone. you always had trouble reading saiki, but you could tell that this was interest. perhaps he was threatened, but he was certainly intrigued.

“they might whirl around and look who’s touching them and account it to a person around them, but if not, they might think they’re having sensory hallucinations. i can also talk to people, but because my voice doesn’t have any weight to it, it’s almost like a hypnotic suggestion.”

“so you can brainwash people?”

“not necessarily,” you let go of his hand, you must have released your power, your eyes are dark, “if i suggest something to someone and it’s something mild, they’re more likely to do it because it already falls into their line of thinking. if i suggest something bold, they might do it thinking it’s an impulsive thought.”

“most people won’t do extreme things, they’ll read those as intrusive thoughts. but sometimes people think my voice is the voice of god, or a passed on relative, and will do intense things regardless of their judgement. others have poor impulse control, and some are just batshit crazy.”

you sheepishly scratch your head, “but i don’t really like having that much control over people. i don’t want to use my powers to hurt anyone.”

“do you want to use them to help people?”

you pause. it seems you’ve thought about this quite a bit.

“well my powers can’t help people. they give me the ability to help people, but they can’t help people directly. i think it’s a matter of it i’m strong enough to help people.”

“are you?”

“would you hate me if i said no? of course i lend a hand to my friends when they need it, but i don’t think i’m strong enough to really make a difference. i want to live peacefully.”

you look down at your hands, “i wish i wasn’t born with it.”

saiki felt unnervingly softhearted. he struggled empathizing with his peers, but his heart pounded in solemn familiarity. “i don’t hate you for that, i’m the same. having the powers i do means i have the responsibility of keeping the world in peace. people would be jealous of me for the self-fulfilling purposes i could use my powers for, but i don’t want to use my powers to hurt people. i don’t want to help anyone either. i just want to be left alone.”

guilt. guilt was a disease, just like jealousy is. it eats at you from the inside, and creeps up at times least expected. it left both of you hollow and empty.

“i wish i didn’t have powers,” he continues, “i don’t think i’ve ever properly experienced life in the way i’m supposed to, like everyone else has. i’m envious of you, you’ve had a bit more normalcy than me.”

“i suppose we’re equally unhappy, then,” you smile at him. he had been staring out the window, but he turns to looks at you. you’re leaning on the door of the classroom, tilting your head, you ask him a silent “walk home with me?”. 

“i mean,” you begin, “i’ve missed out on a lot. i’ve always had trouble making friends- my powers made it difficult for people to remain interested in me. i’ve gotten pretty good at controlling them, pk academy has been really good to me, but it doesn’t heal the damage it’s caused me.”

your teeth gnaw at your lower lip, “your family is so supportive of you, they love you so much, it makes me angry. i wish i could say the same about mine.”

it wasn’t too empty in the school, but your footsteps were loud and clear, both you and saiki walking in sync. saiki didn’t really know what to say, so he stayed silent. 

sighing, you continue, “i don’t want to be alone, but it’s too easy to be reclusive when that’s where you’ve always been. if you live a life of isolation, making friends is scary and draining,” a grim smile forms on your face, as if you’re trying to comfort yourself.

but saiki does have to admit that the two of you have much more in common than he initially thought. he quietly thinks to himself, perhaps he could use your abilities.

“y/n,” he begins, eyes meeting yours, “will you do me a favor?”

“yeah, what is it?”

he doesn’t like being indebted to people, but he wants to test your limits. you don’t give him the chance to ask, “you want me to use my powers while we walk out together, don’t you.”

his mouth falls a bit open, lips parting, “how did you know?”.

you laugh, “you’re not the only one who can read minds,” and reach out to wrap a hand around his forearm. he raises a brow at you, seemingly amused by your comment. he expected you to take his hand again, but your firm grip on his arm was admitedly unexpected.

he felt his heart skip a beat.

“well? are you doing it?”

“yup, you won’t feel any different though.”

walking down the steps together, people passed the two of you, strangers, familiar faces, teachers. nobody noticed.

the two of you passed toritsuka at the steps, but he paid no mind. “you know,” saiki started, “when i use my invisibility power, that guy can still see me.” 

“can he?” you murmur, your voice a bit low. 

“if it’s easier, you can just think what you’d like to say to me, we can talk that way.”

you squint your eyes in concentration, “like this?” you think to yourself. 

“yeah.”

you smile. you continue to hold onto his arm as he changes his shoes. 

“that must be frustrating, that he can still see you.”

he nods. he supposes if toritsuka can’t see you, then aiura probably can’t track you- and him, down either. 

“hold onto my arm while i change mine.”

without breaking contact, he gently wraps his fingers around your wrist. you hastily change your shoes, and slide your hand a bit up, taking his in yours.

“is it neccesary to hold hands?” he asks. his expression was nearly deadpanned, but the slight crease in his brows communicated just enough. he felt sheepish, a bit lost.

“no, but it’s nice.” 

teruhashi stands idly at the exit, waiting, doing her best to gently shake off the boys that surrounded her.

“she’s looking for me.”

“is she? do you want to talk to her?”

“no.”

you pause. 

“is she the reason you asked me to do this for you?”

he nods.

you turn and head towards the gate, but not before waving a hand in front of her face. you take a deep breath, before exclaiming a loud “teruhashi!”. she whirls around, trying to find the source of the voice, looking rather bewildered.

letting out a hearty laugh, you grin up at him. a slight huff of air escapes his upturned lips.

the two of you slip past the front gate.

“but you owe me something in return, i don’t give out my labor for free!”

he sighs, “what would you like?”

“wait, really? i was joking, you don’t have to do anything for me!” you double down on your demands.

“you say that, but i know you’re secretly hoping i’ll treat you.”

“shit, i forgot you can read my mind. that’s so invasive.” you pout, “not fair!”

“it’s fine, i don’t like being indebted to people, and you did do me a favor like i asked, so i’ll take you somewhere.”

you look a bit nervous, “really? you’re sure?”

“just accept the offer before i revoke it.”

you twirl in a circle, letting go of his hand and hopping a few steps ahead of him. “you’re buying me a nice coffee then!” 

he lunges out to take it again.

“sure.”

and once more in sync, both of your hearts skip a beat.

[henqtic]

Can you do a draco x reader with us watching a film and reader saying how they’re crushing over a certain character

𝘭𝘦𝘰’𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦

pairing: draco malfoy x fem!reader

word count: 1.6k (1674)

authors note: just pretend that the battle of hogwarts never happened— that event ruins everything :/ and thanks for requesting !! it made me get a lot more inspiration to finish my other wips <3

masterlist. // taglist form. // request more works.

—————————

the room smelled of freshly buttered popcorn, soft drinks, and unhealthy snacks and for the same reason the night celebration was in place, strong mint gum. tonight was cleared, a time for you and draco to just relax, cuddle up within each other and have a break from everything going around.

the years after graduating a boarding school were life changing, even wizards themselves who could conjure up almost anything they’d ever want or possibly dream of but still, it was the time of realization for who and what you wanted to be.

and yes, there were the newts but they didn’t help much once you really got a look into the real world. many had found a passion in something that seemed wondrous— more fun. traveling and exploring the world, maybe even discovering more mystical creatures that hadn’t been learned in a simple care of magical creatures class and weren't seen in their own time because their parents didn't have the resources.

and some were set on everything but those test scores, a family business awaiting their sole airs take over and draco well, he was a part of that some. and surprisingly enough, even after all that time and all of those expectations set on him to live up to and stay in his family standard, he didn’t, and it was much to your encouragement.

his interest in healing sprung up in his last year of schooling coming to the conclusion that he’d been a prejudiced bully— not that he hadn’t already known that but, of course he did. but once he was left with less than five friends and a girlfriend who was steadily distancing herself further and further away from him, it set in.

so that’s where it started, him identifying nearly all of his mistakes and attempting to heal what had been broken relationships— which most never really did. but it was a change, and a good one at that, it brought him an inner joy, not for the factor of him getting things out of it like you wanting to be in his company more often but that he was mending the seemingly unfixable things.

it made him want to do that and not run a stuffy business that didn't do much but treat their workers poorly and customers even worse so he turned to medicine. observing how so many things lined up with potions, adding the right amount of this, and crushing that up the right way, to make a final product. a product that would soon heal the injured and bring a great smile to both of their faces.

but what he hadn’t realized was that being a healer took time and hard work— almost unusual to someone like him, being constantly handled things and easy ways out but with this, there was no fast tracking or getting anywhere if you didn’t have the right skill set or talents.

so to say he wasn’t ready for it would be a wrong statement. but to say he was exhausted, completely drained of all energy would be completely right. even after all of your cheering on, reminding him that it was only a few more months of studying and one big more test until he’d get to know if he earned his title of healer malfoy.

and usually, that worked, but after tonight after taking that so called big test, his mind was racked with anxiousness. if he didn’t pass, his father would be on his back, telling him how it was a waste of money and how he should've listened to him to that you’d even be disappointed in him— unlikely but as said before, there was nothing but anxious thoughts and anxious scenarios coming through.

so it was painfully clear that your natural remedies wouldn’t work, countless amount of neck kisses and back rubs and muscle soothing not sufficing so you both agreed on the last thing you couldn’t think about, a simple night with the television on, just in each other’s company to try and get his mind off of things—

“you said this was a muggle film, correct?” he called out for confirmation, eyeing the packaging of the movie you called.. the titanic?

“mhm, one of my favorite movies, i just know you’ll love it,” you said from the other side of the living room with a wide smile on your face, near close to beating a cheshire cats. the movie itself was beautiful, you couldn’t lie, the directing and acting brought tears to your eyes almost every time you watched it.

but there was ‘something’ else that could bring tears to your eyes, a gazing stare at the screen whenever his parts would come on.

draco handed you the plastic, allowing you to remove the disk and insert it into the dvd player. you quickly made your way back into the make shift bed made out of blankets and pillows and once the black screen turned green, copyrighted warnings started, you tucked yourself into his awaiting arms.

“why’d you say you loved this again?” he asked for the second time, limbs wrapped around your body as you searched for a response.

“umm, really eye catching.”

and yeah, of course, you were comfortable with him, growing up going to the same school for months at a time and then dating for a good fraction of those years. there was also the memory of a night where you two tirelessly played a game of dare or dare, multitudes of dares coming both your ways to say the most embarrassing, weird, or even azkaban worthy things you’ve done.

but it was something else telling him that you were crushing over a fictional character— who wasn’t even that since the story was true but you were crushing on the actor of that said fictional character that you had no chance with and that, well it was something better left unsaid.

and as it went on, he could see that too, the way your eyes were stuck onto the screen the other blonde was in frame— on the break of amusing how’d the only time your attention would shift is when he’d reach you another piece of popcorn, you offering a grateful smile before focusing back.

your mouth was slightly agape, opening for another piece just how the rhythm had been going, him eating one, him feeding you one, him eating one and so on but now he was beating it further and further away from before your body eventually gave up, falling on his chest.

“hey, why’d you that?” you groaned, annoyed that you were now looking at him from below instead of watching the film.

“why’d you say you picked this again?” his eyes were narrowed down at you, a sly smirk in place. you moved around, trying to remember your excuse and hide the growing smile arising to your face.

“I already told you, it’s eye catching.”

“no,no,no, who’s eye catching?” he asked again, this time correcting himself in order to get a more truthful response. you let out a half embarrassed, half astonished laugh before answering—

“if i tell you, you can’t laugh.” all he did was raise his eyebrows at you, positioning you on his lap, signaling for you to go on with two taps of his finger on your thighs.

“okay well—” you paused, a loss of words and a huff following, “all i’m saying is if jack were to run me over... i’d be the one to apologize.”

your tone of seriousness only made the barks of laughter from the boy underneath you louder, a small pout coming on your face as a response trying to not end up laughing at yourself—

“jack, are you serious? he’s one of the most basic people i’ve seen,” he said through breaths of air, slight tones of jealousy coming out making your head turn in feign sympathy.

“you do know that i’m dating you, right?”

“yea and what’s that supposed to mean?”

“your eyes are blue and hair is blonde and you’re the typical skinny wh—” you started, responding to his defensiveness in the best way possible.

“it sounds like you’re just describing him.” point completely missed. “and so what, what could a fictional character do for you that i couldn’t?” he asked with a smirk, your face saying nothing but unfazed and unamused.

“fine even though if you were listening you'd know that he’s not completely fictional, but everything. would you ever go down with me on an unsinkable ship and then let me survive only the door we could find?” you asked, sighing after like it’d been a dream of yours.

“no. love, take this as me caring for you but i don’t think we’d sink on an unsinkable ship— it’s in the name.”

“were you not listening? and stop, it’s romantic, don’t ruin this for me,” you scolded, lightly hitting his arm.

“they both could’ve gotten on, jack just wasn’t the brightest. and would you really rather date someone that daft over me?” his nose scrunched to further show his disgust, your scoff not failing to sound after.

“know what, if you were a fictional character, no one would like you.”

“sure, i bet i’d have at least two hundred of you treating me like him.” the smugness in his tone was apparent than ever. you loved him, more than anything in the world but, he wasn’t much compared to jack dawson. 

and then came the other obstacle, there not being a valid way to prove to someone like him, with such an inflated ego that no one would like a fictional character version of him. and when you repeated that, he was extremely butt hurt, still allowing his arms to reopen for you to snuggle back in.

single moments passed, another film starting to ease the argument before he spitefully grumbled, “i’d have people all over me.”

“no you wouldn’t!” you whisper shouted back tilting your head up to see his pouting face. 

“yes I would, don’t doubt me—”

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[raymondebidochonlifechoices]

Are you confident Bughead will be endgame on this show? That’s literally the last strand I’ve been holding onto, but the thread is weakening. I really can’t believe that they would take this ship, their absolute most popular and loved one, and just end it like this forever. I am so angry with the writing!!

Hey there, anon! It is unbelievable, isn’t it?

What a tricky question you ask! confidence + prediction + the Riverdale writers ... As Jughead would say: yikes!

The thing with these writers is that they use a lot of words without knowing their meaning. “Endgame” is one of them. “New” is another. “Exciting”. “Darkness”™. “Adult stories”. “The message”…

Dangling the bughead “endgame” carrot at the end of one or two seasons of no bughead or -worse- of b*rchie and j*bitha f.e. is not an endgame. The general definition of endgame -outside of chess- is: the last stage of a process. If the process (i.e. the season’s content) isn’t about bughead, then bughead coming together at the very end is not an endgame, it's a peripeteia i.e. a sudden or unexpected reversal of circumstances.

In shipping, endgame is a couple that will inevitably end together (for ever and ever and ever). In order for something to be inevitable, you have to create that sentiment, you have to build the couple up.

There’s an article about the misappropriation of the word “endagame” that I find particularly funny, as it starts by mentioning Riverdale!

Anyway, this is a long-winded way to say that, yes, I do believe that the show will end with bughead and varchie as their main canon couples. It’s just that, like you, I’m so very tired with these story lines. There is satisfaction to be had at the notion of endgame but a seasonful of investigative bughead would be infinitely preferable. For me (and I can only speak of myself) the journey is more important than the destination -even if for the simple reason that -in TV show time- it lasts longer!

Why do I think bughead is still … that word? Everything’s under the cut, so as not to clutter your dash!

1. A lot of people have been theorising that what happened in 5x18 was not the original plot. I agree.

Let’s start with 5x18 varchie.

Their break up came completely out of left field. Its unexpectedness is reminiscent of 4x17. I make fun of how s5 is a reboot of s1+s2’s leftover ideas, so another copy-paste shouldn’t feel out of place, and yet … really? Another repetition? To what end? If the season’s goal was not varchie, b*rchie was already there waiting at the beginning of the time jump! Why abandon that plot? In terms of romantic varchie time, that was extremely limited, since after their kiss in 5x7, Veronica’s divorce kept them apart until 5x17 … Why have Archie being extremely jealous of Chad, Veronica getting involved in all of Archie’s schemes (firefighters, bulldogs), Archie getting involved in Ronnie’s (rescuing daddykins) or Veronica telling her father she chooses Archie over him in 5x17? Also, for those who remember, there was this by the-writer-who-shall-not-be-named.

The reason of the break up is as ludicrous as Veronica moving into Archie’s childhood bedroom (with its effing slanted roof!) on the premise that long term the Andrews’ residence has more room! (By the way, I don’t know what surprised me more: that Veronica thought that Archie and uncle Frank would know who Ina Garten is or that Jughead didn’t.) Why is Veronica astounded by Archie’s involvement in the same activities he has been involved in all through the season?! For f***’s sake, she’s the one that gifted him the fire truck!

Ok. Now let’s give 5x18 j*bitha a try.

For me, 5x18 could either have gone bugheadwards or j*bithawards. J*bitha had some heartfelt talks, a hand touch, a hallucination and a kiss. Bughead had one unfinished heartfelt talk (the only one in the whole season for Betty), two shoulder touches, two hallucinations and Jughead attempting to reconnect with Betty (without specifying what his intent was, it's true).

While I do think that j*bitha is a ship that has been adequately teased, the way they were explored in 5x18 was … not underwhelming exactly (after all, they’re not my ship, so I didn’t have any expectations about them) but … maybe lukewarm is the word? They had but minimal dialogue, only enough to establish that Tabitha’s parents were in town. Then a song where Tabitha initially rejects Jughead, although she had been supportive before. Then another song, where the lyrics were heavily altered and didn’t make much sense anyway (we hadn’t been properly introduced to the Tates) but where the original lyrics were very compatible with Bughead’s history and state of being as of 5x17. The kisses were ok, I have no problem with the actors’ chemistry. But -and this is strictly a personal opinion- Jughead’s flirting scenes (not the make-out ones, you perverts!) with Cora were better and so was the j*bitha kiss in 5x10. For the 5x18 j*bitha to flow, more dialogue and more flirting was necessary (always a persona opinion). So, no, I don’t think j*bitha were supposed to sing what they sang in 5x18.

Production for s5 wrapped up one week after the official announcement of the 5 special episodes for Riverdale and The Flash: “we expect it will take us until Fall 2022 to get back to a regular schedule” was the official quote. Re-organising the cw’s overall schedule didn’t happen overnight. Yes, more likely than not, the writers knew about the specifics of s6a before shooting 5x18-5x19 and had time to re-write them.

2. The couples spoilers for s6 do not make sense plot-wise.

If the end-goal for 5x19-6x1 had been b*rchie, j*bitha and v*ggie all along, these were pairs already happening (except from v*ggie) at the beginning of the time-jump. As for v*ggie, last time we saw them, Veronica pulled a face when she heard that he had had (still has?) an affair with Hermosa. And what about Nana Rose?! (ok, that was a joke! ... or was it? ��)

The majority of both the fans and the general audience are bugvarchie shippers. Teasing b*rchie and j*bitha as a means of maintaining the viewers’ interest in a will they/won’t they way, only works if the audience finally gets what they want. In this season. Not the next one! There is so much trolling one can take after all. In the space of 1.5 year (4x17-5x19) b*rchie will have been teased ... THREE times (and still lacking build-up)!

I cannot myself see b*rchie, j*bitha and v*ggie as endgame couples. For the audience to invest in them after 4 years of bugvarchie, the writers have to a) give j*bitha an absolutely incredible development that will surpass bughead and the cinematography to go with it (good luck with that) and b) undo Archie’s character (highly unlikely) and/or give Betty a lobotomy (at which point a lot of people will quit en masse, because Archie as The One All The Girls Want just doesn't resonate with the majority).

I have no idea if s6a is an AU or not. But if it’s not, no one will be left to watch 6b.

Can I guarantee a bughead endgame? Of course not. I have no idea how the minds of the Riverdale writers work. But I do think that Jughead and Betty getting back together is more than wishful thinking.

Fervently shipping Jughead/Betty, Jughead/his book and Betty/therapy, sincerely yours, @raymondebidochonlifechoices

I hope you have fun with the Riverdale universe regardless, dear anon. Riverdale has given us one of the most beautiful getting-together stories in s1 and lots and lots of beautiful canon bughead afterwards. Here's to many more! Much love to you!

[synesindri]

Survey Writing Guide: Fandom Edition

Sooo! People are collecting survey data on fandom! Makes sense — fandom is an interesting population to study, and getting data on attitudes/behaviors/etc is a great way to try to find out the truth about popular points of contention about media. To get unbiased, meaningful data, though, you’ll want to make sure your survey is in good shape. This is a guide to try to help you do that.

I am assuming, if you are reading this, that you want your survey to be unbiased and interpretable, sampling from as many viewpoints as possible and getting data on opinions you might agree and disagree with. In other words, I am assuming that you want to do your fandom research in good faith. If that is not why you are making a fandom survey, then you can ignore this whole post. I would ask you to reconsider running a bad-faith fandom survey, but I can’t stop you. But just know that my assumption is that you’re out here in the honest pursuit of truth.

I’m not accusing a survey of being done in bad faith if it doesn’t follow my suggestions. I also realize most people are conducting these surveys in their spare time because they’re passionate & curious, not for the purpose of serious publication or whatever. I’m not telling you that you have to follow all or even any of the advice here. Do what you feel good about doing. Fandom should be fun! 

This guide is only about surveys themselves, and will not help you get a good sample of your fandom. In other words, none of this advice will make sure your survey reaches obscure corners of your fandom, insular communities you aren’t in, or casual fans. A good survey is important, but it’s only one part of getting accurate data, and participation recruitment is a whole other thing. 

This is also only intended to help with survey setup, not analysis or results reporting. You can write a great, unbiased, easy to understand survey, and still present your results in a way that is biased/doesn’t include good information/is hard to understand. Furthermore, once your results are public, they’re out of your hands: you might be well-meaning, but please keep in mind that some people might use your data to make unfair or incorrect assumptions about others, support biased arguments, or generally behave unpleasantly. That’s just part of survey work; don’t let it stop you, but don’t be surprised if/when it happens.

Now, onto the survey tips ~

Think about how to structure your questions

Use multiple choice answers/avoid free response answers as much as possible. This is going to be really helpful for you when it’s time to analyze your data: it’s so much easier to analyze responses that are just clicks of a box than responses that require you to read someone’s long explanation of an opinion and try to figure out what they mean. It also makes answering easier on your participants: clicking a box is a lot easier for them than writing out what they think. Giving an option for them to expand on their answer in a free response text box is great, but try to capture as many possible responses as you can in multiple choice questions.

Consider: should participants be able to give more than one response per question? A good rule of thumb for this is if different responses to a question are mutually exclusive or not: if they are mutually exclusive, only give people the option of clicking one box; if they’re not, let them choose as many as they want. For example, if you want to know somebody’s ONE favorite season of a show, only let them choose one season. If you want to know ALL the seasons they like, give them the option to choose multiple.

Only include one question per question 

A LOT of surveys ask questions that are actually several questions in one, and that makes answering them difficult! For example, you might THINK you’re only asking one thing if you say “Are you introverted or shy?” as a yes/no question, but that is actually two questions: some people are introverted but not shy; some people are shy but not introverted; some people are both introverted and shy, and some people are neither. People who respond “yes” might mean they are one or the other or both, and people who respond “no” might mean they are one or the other or neither — and you’ll have no way of knowing, because your question was too ambiguous.

If you’re asking a question about a nuanced topic, make sure your question and possible responses are nuanced too

People in fandom have a lot of complex views, and giving them only a black-and-white way to tell you about those views means you will miss out on nuance and get inaccurate results. If you are wondering about opinions on a controversial pairing, asking “Do you think it’s okay to ship Reylo?” (for example) and only letting people respond yes or no is not going to capture the range of opinions that exist on Reylo. If you can include multiple answer boxes for people to click, do that! 

Analyzing free response data (where people can write their own answer) is hard on you, as the survey writer, and people might not feel like explaining their opinions. Definitely include a free response box if you want, but also provide a lot of options for responses. 

The more controversial the topic you’re asking about, the more nuance you should let your participants give in their responses. People in fandom often have very strong and very complex opinions about certain issues; you’ll want to make sure not to flatten those opinions too much, while still keeping them simple enough to analyze. Asking “do you enjoy reading fluff?” is (probably) not going to be too complicated, and you’ll likely be fine giving people 2-3 response options (yes/always, sometimes, no/never). But you should give a lot more response options if you’re asking “is it ever acceptable to ship two siblings together?”: some people will be fine with “yes, always” or “no, never,” but a LOT of people are going to want to specify conditions like “only if they are not blood relatives” or “only if it is framed as being bad” or “it’s acceptable sometimes but I personally avoid it,” etc. Make sure people without clear-cut opinions have the ability to give you their opinions too.

Use simple, clear language

Use language that is as simple and precise as possible. Keep questions short when you can. Avoid using a lot of slang and regional idioms: people come from all over the place in fandom, and might not know what you mean. People also have a lot of different reading levels: you want to make sure most of your participants can understand what you’re asking them. 

There are some terms you can assume everyone in your sample will know, and some that you can’t: it’s up to you to figure out which terms are which. For example, most people in tumblr fandom space will understand what a ship is. They might not know what “IC” means though, so you might need to write it out as “in character.” Further, pretty much everyone in the MCU fandom might know what “Stucky” is, but not as many will know what “Coulwhip” is. You can make these kinds of technical terms easier for people to understand by just writing out all abbreviations and writing all pairings in the Name/Name format.

Use neutral language and keep your personal opinions out of it

Avoid inserting your own opinions into your survey, even if you expect that almost everyone participating will agree with you. Even “obvious” jokes won’t read as jokes to everyone; you might upset/offend/put off some group of participants disproportionately such that they won’t complete the survey, and you’ll miss a chunk of data you want. This is a problem, because say, for example, you really want to know if people’s favorite Supernatural ship has any correlation to fans’ personality traits — but if you poked fun at Dean somewhere else in your survey in a way that made Dean fans click off the page, then you’re going to lose a lot of Dean fan data that it would have been really useful for you to have, since Dean is a very popular character to ship with a lot of other characters. 

A good-faith survey is also not the place to moralize. Fandom can be a very polarized place; you are not going to be able to predict which things you ask about are going to be morally objectionable to your participants, and if they’re going to agree with your moral judgments. Your results might surprise you! A survey where you hope to get accurate data is not the place to defend a problematic character you like or to call some group of shippers gross. Your best bet for not causing issues is to include stuff that’s controversial and to be as neutral about it as possible — for example, if you are asking about ships people like, include every reasonably popular ship (potentially excluding rarepairs/extreme rarepairs just because it’s hard to include all of those), even the ones you hate/think are harmful/whatever, and don’t comment on the goodness or badness of any of them. 

Avoid “leading” questions to avoid bias

If you say, “Do you love this awesome TV show?” that’s going to be awkward to respond to for everyone whose answer is anything other than “yes.” Something like “What is your opinion of this TV show?” (with responses like: I love it, I like it, I have mixed feelings about it, I am neutral toward it, I dislike it, and I hate it) will give you a better sense of people’s genuine thoughts.

Select your multiple choice options thoughtfully

Be as egalitarian as possible in the options you provide to your fandom-specific questions that aren’t free response. If you leave out a major character on a list of favorite characters, for example, your participants are going to wonder why you did that — and you might not get data about that character, especially if you don’t include a free response option. 

Avoid bias in your multiple choice answer options

If you ask people for their favorite and least favorite [something], make sure the list of [something] options for both of those questions is identical. For example, if you’re asking about people’s most liked and most disliked ships, make sure the list of ships you include for both questions is the same. Including Sylvie/Loki only on the “ship you most dislike” but not the “ship you most like” list might seem like a reasonable move to you if you don’t know anybody who (openly) likes Sylvie/Loki, but doing that will bias responses and make your data inaccurate. Some people will stop filling out the survey, some people who like Sylkie just won’t want to bother filling in the blank, some people might forget that they like Sylkie unless it’s right in front of their eyes as one of the response options, some people will feel judged and so they won’t answer your survey honestly, etc. 

Follow common best practices advice for demographic information

Collecting information on respondents’ ages, genders, race/ethnicity, employment status, education history, etc is, luckily, very common, so there are a lot of standard questions about those things. I’ll just go ahead and list what I sometimes collect in my own surveys:

Age: for anonymous fandom surveys, I suggest using age groups (under 13, 13-18, 19-25, 26-35, etc) instead of asking people for their precise ages. Just make sure to include all possible age brackets. For example, don’t assume everyone in fandom is under 50.

Gender: unless you want a lot of nuance in your responses, it’s typically enough to include a list like: man/boy or male, woman/girl or female, nonbinary, genderfluid or bigender, and other. If you are interested in trans people specifically, I suggest asking that in a separate question (like: “Do you identify as transgender?”), rather than including binary trans identities in addition to binary cis identities in the same question. The exception to this is if you are including a very long list of gender options.

Race/ethnicity: (disclaimer that most of the data I collect comes from the US, so my best practices are most suited to that population. I welcome any feedback about the best way to ask about this for an international and/or non-US population.) I typically ask something like: “Which category best describes you?” and then give the options: American Indian or Native Alaskan, Asian, Black, Hispanic or Latinx, Middle Eastern or North African, Pacific Islander or Native Hawaiian, White, and other. Ideally, this list should allow multiple responses, so that multiracial/multiethnic people can give accurate reports.

Employment status: “What is your employment status?” with responses: employed full time, employed part-time, unemployed and looking for work, unemployed and not looking for work, self-employed, homemaker, student, and retired. If possible, let this be multiple choice, so that, for example, people who are students AND work can select both applicable options.

Education level: “What is your highest level of education?” with responses: some high school, high school diploma or equivalent, some college, college degree, some graduate education, Master’s degree, Doctorate degree, professional degree (e.g. M.D., J.D., M.Div, etc) 

Sexual orientation: like with gender, you probably don’t need to provide a long, comprehensive list unless your survey is about sexual orientation specifically. Something like the following is probably enough to cover most of your respondents: “What is your sexual orientation?” with responses: straight/heterosexual, gay/lesbian/homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, and other. 

Other questions: just try to make sure you are providing response options that will cover the majority of your participants, and include an “other” option if you’re not sure you’ve covered everything. There are a fair number of basic best practices documents for common demographics questions that you can find through Google, so if you’re not sure how to ask something, give it a quick search. You can also ask people you know who might know more about some specific demographic quality than you do to weigh in!

That’s it for now! I hope you find this helpful, either in writing your own surveys, or in evaluating surveys you are participating in!

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Was doing Staged a big decision, because it’s so personal and set in your homes? Georgia Tennant: We’d always been a very private couple. Staged was everything we’d never normally say yes to. Suddenly, our entire house is on TV and so is a version of the relationship we’d always kept private. But that’s the way to do it, I guess. Go to the other extreme. Just rip off the Band-Aid.

Anna Lundberg: Michael decided pretty quickly that we weren’t going to move around the house at all. All you see is the fireplace in our kitchen.

GT: We have five children, so it was just about which room was available.

AL: But it’s not the real us. It’s not a documentary.

GT: Although some people think it is.

Which fictional parts of the show do people mistake for reality? GT: People think I’m really a novelist because “Georgia” writes a novel in Staged. They’ve asked where they can buy my book. I should probably just write one now because I’ve done the marketing already.

AL: People worry about our elderly neighbour, who gets hospitalised in the show. She doesn’t actually exist in real life but people have approached Michael in Tesco’s, asking if she’s OK.

Michael and David squabble about who’s billed first in Staged. Does that reflect real life? AL: With Good Omens, Michael’s name was first for the US market and David’s was first for the British market. So those scenes riffed on that.

Should we call you Georgia and Anna, or Anna and Georgia? GT: Either. We’re super-laidback about these things.

AL: Unlike certain people.

How well did you know each other before Staged? GT: We barely knew each other. We’ve now forged a friendship by working on the show together.

AL: We’d met once, for about 20 minutes. We were both pregnant at the time – we had babies a month apart – so that was pretty much all we talked about.

Did you tidy up before filming? AL: We just had to keep one corner relatively tidy.

GT: I’m quite a tidy person, but I didn’t want to be one of those annoying Instagram people with perfect lives. So strangely, I had to add a bit of mess… dot a few toys around in the background. I didn’t want to be one of those insufferable people – even though, inherently, I am one of those people.

Was there much photobombing by children or pets? AL: In the first series, Lyra was still at an age where we could put her in a baby bouncer. Now that’s not working at all. She’s just everywhere. Me and Michael don’t have many scenes together in series two, because one of us is usually Lyra-wrangling.

GT: Our children aren’t remotely interested. They’re so unimpressed by us. There’s one scene where Doris, our five-year-old, comes in to fetch her iPad. She doesn’t even bother to glance at what we’re doing.

How was lockdown for you both? AL: I feel bad saying it, but it was actually good for us. We were lucky enough to be in a big house with a garden. For the first time since we met, we were in one place. We could just focus on Lyra . To see her grow over six months was incredible. She helped us keep a steady routine, too.

GT: Ours was similar. We never spend huge chunks of time together, so it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. At least until David’s career goes to shit and he’s just sat at home. The flipside was the bleakness. Being in London, there were harrowing days when everything was silent but you’d just hear sirens going past, as a reminder that something awful was going on. So I veered between “This is wonderful” and “This is the worst thing that ever happened.”

And then there was home schooling… GT: Which was genuinely the worst thing that ever happened.

You’ve spent a lot of time on video calls, clearly. What are your top Zooming tips? GT: Raise your camera to eye level by balancing your laptop on a stack of books. And invest in a ring light.

AL: That’s why you look so much better. We just have our sad kitchen light overhead, which makes us look like one massive shiny forehead.

GT: Also, always have a good mug on the go [raises her cuppa to the camera and it’s a Michael Sheen mug]. Someone pranked David on the job he’s shooting at the moment by putting a Michael Sheen mug in his trailer. He brought it home and now I use it every morning. I’m magically drawn to drinking out of Michael.

There’s a running gag in series one about the copious empties in Michael’s recycling. Did you lean into lockdown boozing in real life? AL: Not really. We eased off when I was pregnant and after Lyra was born. We’d just have a glass of wine with dinner.

GT: Yes, definitely. I often reach for a glass of red in the show, which was basically just an excuse to continue drinking while we were filming: “I think my character would have wine and cake in this scene.” The time we started drinking would creep slightly earlier. “We’ve finished home schooling, it’s only 4pm, but hey…” We’ve scaled it back to just weekends now.

How did you go about creating your characters with the writer Simon Evans? AL: He based the dynamic between David and Michael on a podcast they did together. Our characters evolved as we went along.

GT: I was really kind and understanding in the first draft. I was like “I don’t want to play this, it’s no fun.” From the first few tweaks I made, Simon caught onto the vibe, took that and ran with it.

Did you struggle to keep a straight face at times? AL: Yes, especially the scenes with all four of us, when David and Michael start improvising.

GT: I was just drunk, so I have no recollection.

AL: Scenes with all four of us were normally filmed in the evening, because that’s when we could be child-free. Usually there was alcohol involved, which is a lot more fun.

GT: There’s a long scene in series two where we’re having a drink. During each take, we had to finish the glass. By the end, we were all properly gone. I was rewatching it yesterday and I was so pissed.

What else can you tell us about series two? GT: Everyone’s in limbo. Just as we think things are getting back to normal, we have to take three steps back again. Everyone’s dealing with that differently, shall we say.

AL: In series one, we were all in the same situation. By series two, we’re at different stages and in different emotional places.

GT: Hollywood comes calling, but things are never as simple as they seem.

There were some surprise big-name cameos in series one, with Samuel L Jackson and Dame Judi Dench suddenly Zooming in. Who can we expect this time around? AL: We can’t name names, but they’re very exciting.

GT: Because series one did so well, and there’s such goodwill towards the show, we’ve managed to get some extraordinary people involved. This show came from playing around just to pass the time in lockdown. It felt like a GCSE end-of-term project. So suddenly, when someone says: “Samuel L Jackson’s in”, it’s like: “What the fuck’s just happened?”

AL: It took things to the next level, which was a bit scary.

GT: It suddenly felt like: “Some people might actually watch this.”

How are David and Michael’s hair and beard situations this time? AL: We were in a toyshop the other day and Lyra walked up to these Harry Potter figurines, pointed at Hagrid and said: “Daddy!” So that explains where we’re at. After eight months of lockdown, it was quite full-on.

GT: David had a bob at one point. Turns out he’s got annoyingly excellent hair. Quite jealous. He’s also grown a slightly unpleasant moustache.

Is David still wearing his stinky hoodie? GT: I bought him that as a gift. It’s actually Paul Smith loungewear. In lockdown, he was living in it. It’s pretty classy, but he does manage to make it look quite shit.

---

Omg the mug’s origins :D

‘GT: Also, always have a good mug on the go [raises her cuppa to the camera and it’s a Michael Sheen mug]. Someone pranked David on the job he’s shooting at the moment by putting a Michael Sheen mug in his trailer. He brought it home and now I use it every morning. I’m magically drawn to drinking out of Michael. ‘

[lazywonderlvnd]

Hi, if you are still taking prompts; A magically powerful Harry not noticing that his magic does things to make Draco happy. This can be pre-relationship or established relationship. Like it starts of with his tea being exactly as he likes and always the right temperature. Then evolves to rooms changing colour or weather changing or people being unable to invade Draco’s personal space due to an invisible barrier or something ridiculous. Btw Draco doesn’t notice as well.

anon.....you really killed me w this one. i’ve been so emo over this wyugeahrwiw might end up writing smth longer tbh bc this concept is literally the only thing that matters to me!!!!!!! i hope u enjoy i had so much fun with it ❤️❤️❤️

“Harry, you do it. Please.”

“No.”

“Please!”

“We’re fucking watching something, Draco!”

“So just pause it!”

Harry grabs the pillow on his lap and slams it onto the sofa next to him. Hermione can see dust rise in its wake. He pauses the telly. 

“Are you doing it?” Draco asks hopefully. Harry scowls at him. 

“Well you won’t shut up until I do, will you?”

“Definitely not.”

Harry disappears into the kitchen and Draco sits there looking smug.

“It’s kind of sick how you get off on bossing him around,” says Ron, his tone one of simple observation. His fingers are idly playing with Hermione’s hair, but she doesn’t think he notices he’s doing it. 

“If I’m not mean to him a few times a week I break out in a rash, Weasley,” Draco says blithely. “Besides, he makes it perfectly. I don’t know how he does it, it’s always exactly the right temperature and sweetness and all that. I s’pose his years as a house-elf for those Muggles gave him plenty of time to perfect the art.”

“You’re a twat,” says Ron. “And my mum makes tea better than him.”

“Well you’re just a pitiful little mummy’s boy, aren’t you, Weasley? We can hardly trust your opinion.”

“Hark who the hell’s talking,” Ron scoffs. “Least I’m not twenty-three and still calling my mum ‘mummy’ like the world’s biggest bloody ponce.”

Draco splutters but before he can retort Harry’s coming back into the room hovering four cups of tea that float placidly to each of them. Draco looks exactly like a satisfied cat as he takes his and Harry drops back down onto the sofa next to him. Not too close, but certainly not too far, either.

“Literally exquisite,” Draco declares after he’s taken a sip. Ron rolls his eyes.

“It’s just tea, Draco,” says Harry, and he grabs for the remote to turn the film back on. “You’re such a demanding little brat. Merlin’s fucking tits.”

But Draco looks happy and Harry looks suspiciously content as well. Ron turns to her and makes a silent gagging face. Hermione snorts and puts a finger to her lips. They’ve decided not to say anything yet.

*

“Wasn’t this place a lot … uglier last time?”

“What?” Harry says absently. He’s not listening — he’s got all his attention zeroed in on a stack of parchment he’s holding. They’d only barely dragged him along to lunch; earlier the captain of the English National Team had apparently owled him a great number of brand-new Quidditch plays and required Harry’s extensive thoughts and notes before their next practise, which was tomorrow morning. 

“Uglier,” Draco says emphatically, and Ron mutters something she doesn’t catch. “Remember? The walls were that tragic egg-yolk colour.” He shivers. Hermione thinks it might have been an honest-to-god shiver of revulsion. She also thinks she knows what’s happened, even though the extent of it surprises her.

“Maybe someone heard you whingeing and changed it,” Ron apparently can’t stop himself from saying with a snigger. Hermione elbows him hard and he shoots her a glare, mouthing, he doesn’t know!

Harry would usually be the one to take the lead and get them a table when all four of them go out to eat together but today he’s too wrapped up in his Quidditch plays, so Ron steps forward and does it, which makes Hermione’s chest flutter pleasantly. He’d blush down to his bones if she ever said it aloud but he’s quite capable of being a leader in Harry’s absences. 

“Whatever happened,” says Draco pointedly as they’re led to their table, “it’s a great bloody blessing, I was genuinely unsure I’d have the mental fortitude to survive another assault like that on my delicate senses. And, I mean, this —” he gestures to the walls, which are now an admittedly pleasing dark teal above a white trim “— is stunning. It’s my favourite colour.”

“Is it? So weird they picked your favourite colour completely by coincidence,” Ron says, and Hermione elbows him again. Draco notices nothing and neither does Harry, although he does finally set the plays aside once they’re seated at the table.

“Are you complaining about the wall colour again?” he asks drily. They would both be extremely displeased to know they sound like an old married couple. Draco snatches haughtily at the paper napkin on the table and unfolds it to place over his lap. The first time he’d ever done this at a regular, decidedly not upscale restaurant Ron had taken it upon himself to spend the entire meal adopting a posh accent to match Draco’s and saying things to the waiter like “Don’t you have crystal?” while holding up a glass cup full of Pepsi and then commenting “These aren’t real silver, you know” after making a show of inspecting the titanium utensils. 

“I can complain about hideous design choices if I want to,” Draco tells Harry with his nose in the air. “Thankfully they’ve rectified it this time.”

On the other side of the restaurant, Hermione sees two employees talking, one of them gesturing at the wall with utter bewilderment. She doesn’t point it out.

*

“Twelve o’clock,” says Ron, nodding past Draco’s shoulder. “Some bloke staring you down hard, Malfoy.”

Draco looks excitedly behind him, but what Hermione takes more notice of is the way Harry’s face falls a little. She can’t help but wonder if he even realises it’s happened. She’s almost certain he’s aware of his feelings for Draco even though he still hasn’t said anything to her (and she’s been waiting months now, the effort of holding her tongue growing only more difficult by the day, and she knows Ron’s always seconds away from shouting at him) but she doesn’t think he knows how obvious he is. Draco doesn’t seem to know either, but she thinks that’s because Draco feels exactly the same way. She’d have called them morons, but she remembers too well how long it had taken her and Ron.

“What the fuck, Weasley,” Draco hisses, turning back around with a scowl that makes Ron laugh and Harry perk up again a little bit. “He looks like he hasn’t washed his hair in weeks.”

“Now, now,” says Ron, “mustn’t judge books by their greasy covers.”

“Then you go shag him if you think he’s so fit.”

“Maybe I will,” Ron says airily, as if he really is considering it, and Hermione can’t help chuckling and kissing his cheek. Then his expression changes to one of wicked amusement, which makes all of them look round to see the bloke coming their way. Hermione glances at Harry to find that — oh yes, he looks flustered and vaguely upset.

“Hullo,” says the greasy bloke to Draco as he comes up beside him at their table. He’s really not terrible-looking, but if she’s learned anything about Draco in the last couple years it’s that his standards amount to models and Harry Potter, so this man has almost no chance.

“Hello,” Draco drawls, reminding her fiercely of his younger self at Hogwarts. “I’m not interested.”

“Right little narcissistic bugger, aren’t you?” the man says. And now, finally, he’s begun to look as revolting to Hermione as he’d done initially to Draco — a repellent personality can do that. “Maybe I just wanted to come and have a chat.”

“Then why aren’t you looking at any of the rest of us?” Ron asks, sounding halfway between amused still and a little put off.

“Can you leave, please?” Draco interjects, cringing away from the man encroaching slowly on his personal space. And suddenly, as he looks on the verge of antagonising Draco further, he shifts his feet and slips, landing right on his bum with a yell of surprise. All four of them get to their feet to see, but there doesn’t seem to be any liquid or even slimy food for him to have tripped on.

“The fuck ...?” the man says, getting back to his feet. But when he moved towards Draco, he only slips again, on absolutely nothing at all. Something clicks and Hermione looks at Harry: he seems as confused as anyone else (if obviously pleased).

She looks at Ron then, who catches her eye and lifts his brows like he’s thinking the same thing.

Draco’s suitor gets up once more and steadies himself, looking a bit dazed. Some deep animal instinct seems to tell him to stop trying, and with a wary glance at Draco he finally leaves.

“Well that was a bit of a fucking scene,” says Harry. Draco, coming out of his own startled daze, laughs.

“Yeah,” Ron says sarcastically, “wonder what could’ve possibly happened.”

*

“I really thought it was going to rain,” Draco mopes where he’s standing at the window. It’s grey outside but it definitely doesn’t look like rain and Draco appears so upset about it that Hermione actually feels badly, even though she’s quite glad for the clear weather. 

“Just shut the curtains,” Ron suggests from his place on the floor. He’s sorting through Harry’s collection of VHS tapes, trying to decide on a good Halloween movie. Not that he’s ever seen any of them, and Hermione suspects he’ll end up choosing whichever cover he likes best.

“It’s not the same!” Draco wails. “The thunder and lightning is all part of it, you uncultured pillock! The atmosphere is all wrong.”

“It’ll be just as good when we shut off all the lights and draw the curtains,” she assures him, but it doesn’t remove the look of disappointment from his face. It’s a pouty sort of thing that echoes the brattiness of his youth; she imagines a five-or-six-year-old Draco giving his parents similar looks when he wasn’t getting what he wanted.

 At that moment the front door opens and Harry walks in carrying two grocery bags, one of which contains alcohol, which Hermione can tell by the way the plastic is bulging around the cans.

“The fuck are you all doing here?” he says by way of greeting.

“You said eight o’clock, fuckhead,” Ron tells him without looking up. “But it’s fine, I’ve had time to pick a film and Malfoy’s had time to moan about the weather.”

“What’s wrong with the weather?”

“I wanted a storm!”

At that exact moment, a flash of lightning lights up the sky behind Harry where he hasn’t even closed the door yet. Seconds later a downpour begins, and then there’s a rolling crash of thunder.

Hermione’s eyes widen and once more she finds Ron’s gaze, who looks about as shocked as she feels. Draco, meanwhile, has his hands over his mouth and looks like a child on Christmas morning.

For the first time since his magic had begun picking up on Draco’s wishes and granting them of seemingly its own accord, Hermione sees Harry look suspicious. He peers behind him at the storm suddenly raging outside his house before slowly closing the door. When he turns back he looks directly at Hermione, who looks away quickly.

They set up the food Harry had gotten — all kinds of Halloween-themed sweets — and once everyone has their drinks (“Make mine,” Draco tells Harry, “you do it best”) and is comfortable on the two sofas in the room (Harry and Draco are, as usual, as close to each other as they can get without actually touching) they start the movie: The Thing, which Harry swears is one of the greatest horror films of all time.

Funny thing is, an hour and a half into it she looks over and, with a jolt, realises the two of them are kissing half-covered beneath a blanket. She elbows Ron, who positively beams when he notices.

“Fucking finally, dear sweet Merlin,” he whispers, the sound muffled by the continued rain and thunder. “I nearly hit him upside the head when he made it rain, are you fucking kidding me?”

“Shh!” Hermione hisses, though she’s smiling. “They’ll hear you. We’ll rag him about it tomorrow.”

A soft sound of laughter comes from the other sofa that Hermione identifies as Draco’s, and when she risks another peek after a moment she sees that Harry has a hand on Draco’s jaw, and that he’s smiling.

[lord-of-christmas-lights]

I swear I have normal Narnia headcanons. However, none of them are featured in this post.

So! If you've been following my series of posts about my Inhuman Narnia AU and the couple of oneshots I posted on ao3 under ASkyOfKai, you've probably noticed that in this little universe I've created, Narnia is sort of...sentient. And I've just realized that I've only actually gone into depth about this on Discord with my friends who are probably very tired of hearing about it. So I'm making y'all suffer through it instead. Welcome to Inhuman Narnia 101, please take your seats because this is going to take a while.

Warning for religious themes, theological discussion, and some dark fantasy/inhuman/body horror concepts that involve blood and physical changes.

BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING: Please keep in mind that an AU is meant to be an alternate universe that may not follow canon information. If anything in this post contradicts canon on the creation of Narnia (it undoubtedly will), pay it no mind, this is an AU. It doesn't have to follow canon.

First off, a little explanation of the Inhuman Narnia AU in general. Basically I came up with this AU after seeing some other people on tumblr post about the Pevensies being not quite human after their time in Narnia. Just eerie, cryptid, a bit of dark fantasy kinda stuff. And I was like, "I'm in love, sign me up, I have ideas." I did not sit down and develop this all at once. The worldbuilding I've done for it has come slowly over the past few weeks through posts, fanfics, and discord rambles. The idea of Narnia being a sentient earth deity of sorts is a recent one and there is already so much to it. (Also I call her Narnia because it's convenient, she has other names but I haven't bothered to like, actually make any up so Narnia is what she's called.)

The most important thing to note starting off is that Narnia is not supposed to be a replacement for Aslan, nor is she necessarily "the hero to his villain". Aslan and I have an interesting relationship, as he is literally God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit/etc and I no longer really identify as Christian. While there are times that Aslan definitely takes a more antagonistic route in my writings, I don't actually see him as a bad guy, nor as a good guy. As God, he literally removed from our concepts of good and evil (in my opinion). The same goes for Narnia being an earth deity. I am a Christian-raised pagan, and I definitely subscribe to the idea that gods and deities are not subject to humanity and our rules. Narnia is not a good goddess, she is not a bad goddess, she simply is a goddess. Plain and simple. The dichotomy that exists between Narnia and Aslan in my writing is generally that of opposing deities, but this isn't a hard and fast rule. There were and still are times when they're friends, working towards the same goals. There are times when Narnia's power is stronger than Aslan's and times when Aslan's power is stronger than hers. There is no simple 1:1 comparison between them.

So, getting into motivations and why Narnia as a deity even exists. Essentially, I asked the question, "How do the Pevensies become inhuman?" and voila earth deity Narnia was born. Now, the basic in-universe mythology I've worked out is that Narnia and Aslan are two deities from separate dimensions that came together to create a new world, the world of Narnia. Aslan is the one who oversees things, he's the one who comes up with the ideas, and he's a little less attached to the world as a whole because he's a Creator, not an earth deity. Narnia is, however, and she literally makes up the world, she sort of runs the entire thing on a physical level, and she is much more attached to it. So she's always kinda taken on this role of making the things in her world the way she wants them. For the most part, she and Aslan designed everything together and they're both happy with it blah blah blah. Well, Aslan then decides to bring a few humans from this other world he's created to Narnia. And she affects them a bit (I've got headcanons about Digory and Polly that I haven't posted anywhere yet but I might soon), but it isn't until Aslan brings the Pevensies over that she really gets to experiment. See, there are other deities in the world that kinda rule over the various lands on a surface level (patron gods for Telmar, the Archenlands, etc, they just have less power than Narnia and Aslan) so she has a little less power over the people in those places, but the country of Narnia is both her land and her so when the Pevensies become the Kings and Queens and live there for 15 years, she's very connected to them. And it's through this connection that she starts to affect them. Honestly, I'm not sure if Narnia even knows what she's doing when she starts stripping away their humanity. I think it's that she can feel they're not from her world and she doesn't like that. She wants them to be a part of her, she wants them to belong in her world just the same as everyone else. (Side note—I know Telmar and some other lands in canon are based on people finding portals and coming through and I'd like to say that she does affect them a bit, takes away a bit of their humanity, but it's not to the same extent as the Kings and Queens of her lands).

"So Kai," you might say, "You keep empathizing that she is literally the land and the land is her. What the hell do you mean by that?" Well, essentially, she is...the...land. Basically if you've read Percy Jackson Heroes of Olympus, there's this idea that Gaia and Tartarus are both physically their domains and able to take on a smaller, human shaped physical form because they're gods and not restricted by human ideas of only having one body. Narnia is the same. Her physical form is both the entire world and whatever smaller shape she might appear in to people. However, we have to acknowledge that their world is differently structurally from ours. There's magic, there's talking animals, and in my Inhuman AU, there is a literal Heart of Narnia at the center. Like a physical, beating, human-shaped heart. Except it's a lot bigger than a regular human heart. Also it's golden. And many many many miles underground. So anyways this is where she's centered. It's basically where her soul is. Probably under Cair Paravel because I just came up with that idea and I love it. And radiating out from it are veins of magic and blood, and these stretch all across the world. Now here is where we get into blood magic and some of those fun terrifying concepts I've come up with.

Narnia has her own blood, of course, but also whenever one of her Kings or Queens bleeds in battle, she kinda pulls it down through the earth into her own heart and veins. It doesn't really do anything to her or them in particular, it's just a fun side effect of them having a patron pagan god. Yes this includes Caspian after he becomes King. Also Peter's blood turns golden because he's the High King, and then later Caspian's does too because I just really like imagery of Ben Barnes bleeding gold. (Side note—when Peter returns to England, his blood goes back to red, but it does remain a brighter red than blood generally is).

Diverting for half a second here. Now, in both my regular Narnia writings and my Inhuman AU, Lucy is very very connected to magic. In my regular Narnia fanfic, she studies with the druids, who are sort of like BBC Merlin's druids. They're just like, chill dudes who run around in camps doing magic and making prophecies and shit. However, in the Inhuman AU, they are a lot darker. One of my favorite ideas with the Inhuman druids and Lucy is that they are so connected to Narnia's magic and her Heart that their hands become stained with blood. Is it their blood, is it Narnia's blood, is it someone else's blood? Idk, don't ask questions. But yea, their hands are permanently stained reddish-brown to almost black. In my regular Narnia stuff, I still like the idea of Lucy's hands being stained and go with just earth magic, dirt stuff for the reason why. But yea no, in the Inhuman AU her hands are stained with blood because of blood magic.

So getting a bit more into how Narnia affects the Pevensies now because I love talking about this lol. She doesn't consciously chose how to change them, though she does call them her creations. Generally the way her magic affects them is by connecting them to to the land in some way and bringing out certain traits they have. So for Peter it's his eyes flickering between regular blue and the amber of a lion's, feathers appearing on his back that grow into wings, having a strength greater than that of a giant's. His blood is golden and on clear nights, the Aurora Borealis in the sky is reflected across his skin. For Susan, her skin glints like glass in the sun and she can briefly glimpse the future. Her wounds are sewn shut with golden rays of light, her eyes are cracked but clear, and she seems to glow faintly in the night, a bit of the sun's radiance shining through her. Edmund has a bit of a star's power lodged in his throat, and can manipulate words, uses them to influence people and their actions. His skin is frostbitten in places, a side effect of ruling the Woods where the White Witch once held so much power, and in some spots his bones shine under the ice that spreads across his skin. Lucy has the stained skin from her stronger connection to magic, and when she speaks words from the Old Language (the one Aslan and Narnia used to shape the world itself), her voice echoes and rasps. Her teeth are too sharp, her smile too wide, and when she disappears underwater, she can stay for hours without surfacing. I want to get into Eustace and Caspian now too but this post is already extremely long and I've still got a bit to cover, so we're just sticking with the Pevensies for now. So yea, Narnia doesn't pick what she does to the Pevensies, she just connects herself to them and through that connection, they change. The magic that she is made of, that Narnia the world operates on, that's what changes them. However, as I stated already, she does call them her creations and feels extremely responsible for them.

Wrapping back around up to the beginning, this is the biggest source of conflict between her and Aslan as of the canon timeline. I like to believe that the lamppost incident was an accident, that Aslan didn't actually mean to send them back at the end of LWW and it was pure coincidence, wrong place wrong time stuff. That being said, it did happen and Narnia really didn't like it happening. The Pevensies did return to their (mostly) human selves in this AU in England, so when they came back in Prince Caspian, she felt disconnected from them again. She reacted to this by digging into them even harder on a spiritual level and essentially speedran them back to being inhuman throughout the timeline of PC, which generally takes place over a few months in my mind. I don't remember how long it was in the book, it's been quite a while since I read them, but it's only like a week in the movie and like eff that, overthrowing a kingdom takes a bit longer in my opinion. Now there are a few divergences here. 1. They all stay at the end of PC and yea that's it, they go back to being Kings and Queens and it's like a second Golden Age but with Caspian there as well. 2. Susan and Peter stay, Lucy and Edmund go back and it's a repeat of the human/inhumanity cycle for them + Eustace in VOTDT and then they stay. 3. Everything happens exactly as it does in canon and it's a constant cycle of humanity/inhumanity with the character's various trips and finally ends at The Last Battle. I like all versions and I tend to leave things a little open to the reader on what exactly happens, or I would if I could actually finish some of my drafts and post them. As you can imagine, Narnia likes 1 the best and 3 the least. She really wants her Kings and Queens to stay and rule her lands and like be awesome and stuff. However, Aslan prefers 3 the best and 1 the least. So again, neither of them is really good nor evil, they just have differing opinions on how the world should be run and what the Pevensie's fates should be. I do tend to side with Narnia, I really like exploring these concepts of inhumanity, but I also really like the concept of a cycle. That's very common in mythology.

So anyways, that's a bit of an overview on earth deity Narnia and her role in my Inhuman AU. If you made it this far, congratulations, and I give you explicit permission to use any of my ideas in your own writing/fanart/whatever, as long as you tag either my tumblr or my ao3 (lord-of-christmas-lights and ASkyOfKai) because I need more Narnia+Inhumanity content in my life. Thanks for reading all this and I'll probably be back very soon with elaboration on Eustace and Caspian's inhumanity!

- Kai